“So you’re like a ghost?” He said, hands fidgeting with the cuffs of his button up shirt. He had been doing that a lot since he had been sitting across from me in the booth. The blue-eyed guy would alternate between two things. Looking me up and down very obviously, or glancing over his shoulder and at the people around him, as if silently waiting for them to acknowledge me.
It took a lot of willpower not to sneer at him and explain this. Ignorant. He got paid attention to, it was so easily happening to. Waitresses looking at him, people walking in noting his pretense before moving on. It was a small thing, something no one even noticed others around them do, just carrying on with their own lives and conversation. Ignorant. They all ignored the empty booth across from him where I was seated.
His eyes kept flicking across from my face down my body, as if he expected me to suddenly disappear if he didn’t pay enough attention. To be perfectly honest I couldn’t blame him to much about this one…. I was half expecting that too. However, I didn’t disappear, the universe, for the time being, seemed to allow me to soak up the first attention I had felt in what seemed to be years.
Maybe it had been years.
“Call me whatever makes you feel better about this. You look like you’re gonna wet yourself,” I scoffed a little, letting my own eyes glance him up and down for a few moments, a distraction from the excitement that was quickly replacing my annoyance towards him.
It sounds like a girl thing to think, but this was the first person to speak to me in such a long time, I couldn’t remember the last time of been looked in the eye and it just- I couldn’t believe it, he was talking to me. Not just flinching then moving on, he was having a conversation with me. Not to get all sentimental first timey about this, but it did kinda feel like I was losing my ghost-virginity.
Jesus Christ, what has happened to me.
I waited for a second, impatiently tapping my sneaker-toe against the pole to the table between us. Funny, how you can go so long without chatter but you have the same habits once you are thrown right back in. At least I think these are my same habits. They feel habit-y.
When I didn’t get an immediate response from him I sighed, deciding I was gonna have to put a little more forward. “Look, I’m just as freaked out by this as you are-“
“Said the ghost to the guy who just saw him kicking coffee mugs around like it was nothing.” He added sarcastically, Oh, so we can be pissing ourselves and sarcastic. Multi-talented Guy right here. I rested my chin on my palm as he continued. “Something tells me I have a right to be much more weirded out about this than you do,” He seemed to be trying really hard not to sneer. Oh watch it buddy. If you can see me I’ll put my fake ghost-money on you feeling my knuckles in your teeth.
I’m noticing a trend of this whole ghost thing. Please forgive.
The people sitting in the booth to the far left of ours glanced over their shoulder at us… well, at him. Their faces seemed concerned, and almost afraid. The waitress came over ( wow) and gave him a pitifully smile.
“Everything Alright over here? You seem a little…. Nervous… anything I can get for you? You’ll have to order something if you wish to keep the table…” She explained to him kindly. It was fake, the kindness in her voice was just a mask to hide the pity she was feeling for the blue-eyed man sitting across from me. Oh. That was another thing, he has blue eyes. Have I mentioned that yet? I’m not sure. Well, I don’t know why this fact bothered me so much, it was like whenever I looked at him, this fact stood out to me more than anything else. More so even than his toddlers hair and the cut of his cheek bones and how he had been running his tongue over his lips every now and then the entire time he had been talking to me.
Talking to me.
Sorry. Still haven’t gotten over that.
He looked at the waitress, raising an eye a little at the question. “Oh- I see…. a cup of tea then? Honey if you have it please…” He turned to me, “Do you want anything?” He asked as if it was the most normal thing ever. To him it was. It was an innocent enough question, him just trying to be polite.
That’s why it made me burst out laughing. The guy looked alarmed, and the waitress also seemed rather afraid, but her attention was no where near me. More focused on blue-eyes.
“Well- erm.. a cup of Honey tea coming up…” She quickly smiled before turning away from him, eyeing him over her shoulder as she did so. He looked utterly confused, which only added to my laughter, holding my stomach.
He shot me a glare, irritated as he opened his mouth to undoubtedly ask me ‘what the hell that was’ and ‘what I think is so funny.’ However, he seemed to pause and think it over in his head. “Wait… Can she see you?” He asked me slowly. There it was, he seemed to have gotten the hint.
“Nope.” I grinned at him.
“None of them?”
“Well, none accept you, apparently.” I shrugged. “Oh, and you’re talking to yourself, just a heads up that everyone does, in fact, think your insane.” I added with a shit-eating grin.
The look I received in return was gold. “Look, Mr. Uh”-
“Castiel. My name is Castiel.” He corrected, sitting up a little in his seat, hands folded together on the countertop.
“Okay Castiel. You’re the first person I’ve had the privilege to talk to in a very long time.” I explained, trying very hard not to sound snarky as I spoke to him, letting my shoulders relax as I did so. He gave me a look and I returned it. “What?”
“You seriously haven’t talked to anyone in a while have you?” He grinned a little.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I challenged.
“You didn’t go.”
“ Your name, hot-shot.”
I rolled my eyes, sitting back against the booth and crossing my arms as I glared over at him. However, we both seemed to know there was no malicious intent behind it. “Dean.”
There was a pause, the waitress returning and setting the tea down for him. He thanked her, moving to add some cream to it.
“You put cream in your tea?”
“Shush.” He mumbled almost on reaction, taking a teaspoon and storing the hot liquid for a little before taking a sip. “You don’t?”
“I’m much more of a coffee drinker myself.”
“How do you take it?”
“Spoon of sugar and two creams.” I recite on instinct, it makes him smile into his cup. “...though I can’t really remember the last time I’ve had the chance to order coffee.”
Another long pause of silence fell between us. “...How long have you been like this?” Castiel asked after a couple moments. His tone was cautious.
“How do you have no idea.” He shot back rather quickly at me.
“Oh sorry, I left my ghost-for-eternity timer at home. Let me just run and grab that for you.” Was the response he earned from me. He seemed to back off after getting that no, I didn’t have any type clue. And I was also craving coffee. Another fun benefit of this conversation. Castiel looked down into his tea, not meeting my eyes for a good long while. He then put his tea-cup down with a small clink, getting up as I opened my mouth to ask where he was going, closing it again when I realized it probably wouldn’t matter. Probably going to pay and leave. Good going Dean, snark the only person who can see you away, good goin’ pal. Whatever. I didn’t need him, I’ve been perfectly fine on my own this entire time. Totally normal and… nervous and.. and sad and….. lonely.
I did my best to ignore my mind yelling at me to get up and follow him, or ask him to sit back down and apologize for the attitude.
A mug was placed in front of me. A mug of coffee.
Two creams, one sugar.
Castiel sat back in his seat, stirring his tea-cup again before setting the spoon down and glancing up at me, the tiniest smile on his face as he did do.
I stared at the coffee, almost forgetting how you were supposed to drink coffee. With shaky hands, I reached out to the mug, doing my best to get it together as, rather slowly, my hands rested on the sides of the mug. I felt the warmth from the liquid through the marital, letting myself enjoy how it could warm your entire body. Warm. Another sensation that I hadn’t felt in a good long while.
The coffee against my tongue was even warmer.
Castiel smiled into his cup again, managing to catch me Do the same in mine. He set his cup back down, seeming more relaxed then when he’d first sat down.
“.... So you are a ghost.”
“I feel like we’ve already gone down this path. Yes, Sherlock , I’m a ghost.”
“I’m much more of a John actually.”