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Thinking about you

Chapter Text

Garrison

 

You were always there. You didn't notice me but I was there too. In the same hall, same room, same class, you were everywhefe and I was just behind you. I wished for you to wait. I wanted to walk beside you, but you didn't want that. Honestly I don't know what you wanted.

 
I remember the first time i saw you. It was in the simulator you were flying like a professional, it was kind of magical, i felt like i was flying with you. I wanted you to feel the same with my performance. You left as soon as the simulation finished. I failed mine.

I was angry at you after that, no matter what you did everyone knew you were there, you were a shining star. You could do everything. I couldn't.

I tried to shine like you. But it was difficult when you sucked at everything. It was hard but i did it, it wasn't the best method but people looked at me, though it wasn't the same way they looked at you.

Even after becoming the class clown you didn't saw me. That hurt and made me hate you more. I hated you. You were perfect i was not. You were shining i was drowning.

 

Why didnt you look at me?

 

And then......

 

Then You left.

 

And still no one looked at me. So i hated you even more.

'I hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you...'

 

I hate you because I'm not perfect like you.

 

I hate you because no one looks at me.

 

I hate you because I cant fly like you.

 

I hate you because I'm not you.

 

I hate you because...because... Because you are not here.

 

Chapter Text

Season 1
 

Its been a year since the last time I saw you, I never thought I would meet you again not even in my dreams and there you were mullet and all, doing the things I could only do in my fantasies.

You saved Shiro, I was probably in the way but I didn't want you to have that so I tag along. The worst thing was you didnt remember me.

I know i wasn't the big deal, im not a big deal, I never made a good impression I never did something but it hurt when you said it. When you said I was no one. I am not one, I am nothing. You are everything.

And because you are everything I wanted to be, I'm your rival now. So ill show you that I can be something too.

Now flying a big mechanical lion was not in the plan, but I took what life gave me and if that means fighting a war, leaving my home, my family and everything bet you a quiznack I will.

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Becoming a team, training together, forming viltron. While doing those things it showed me that maybe "I dont hate you anymore".

Still all those things I felt that I feel sometimes they won't go away so easy, they come back in waves like an ocean full of rage and I don't know how should I feel about them.

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It was just a second, I saw you fighting, and i thought I can't lose you here, not like this. I shoot and I was out again. Next thing I knew you were holding my hand and it felt nice, warm  like all this bizarre adventure we are living was a dream.

"We did it, we are a good team" I probably said that at loud but the smile you gave me was... Was... Somthing else.

 

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I'll never admit having a bonding moment, its not in my contract like defender of the universe so "Nope don't remember didn't happen"

Now that I think about it it was the wrong thing say but no one cant blame me. Only you would admit something so embarrassing like it was nothing.

For example I will not tell you how comforting your voice sounds through the comms even if you were teasing it felt so refreshing, I was scared there tied to a tree by a hot alien girl blaming myself for flirting it was all my fault, all our efforts would be nothing all those aliens we rescued not long ago for nothing. Without voltron the universe was done for. And it was my fault. And tben  "Hey Lance I got your lion back"

You saved me, it was nothing for you, but you fixed my mistake.

 

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It turns out we are a good team, you are so reckless and so clueless that it amazed me. Did you really were the beat pilot?

 

In the heat of a battle, trapped in a planwt that is about to explode, fighting a ro-beast with thousand eyes,  for the first time I felt that you were not my rival but my friend.

 

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I take back the friend thing, I just wanted my memory on a ship is that too much to ask? No is a really reasonable petition consideeing the job we are doing.

But here you were saying I'm dumb.

Why I am not enough for you?

 

Also why do you always have to save me?

Trapped in the airlock was an experience I dont want to repeat ever. Just 30 seconds, 30 seconds to regret every decision I made that took me there.

When I saw your face i felt so relieved, but panic what if you were the last one I saw before death I was sure those were my last moments and then you made the impossible like everything you do. You pulled in and I felt so safe around you, that no matter what catastrophe could happen with you at my side everything would be fine.

 

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Why won't you let me fight by your side, you just go and do everything on your own. We are supposed to be a team.

 

 The princess got captured, you wanted to stay instead of rescuing her. Maybe we should've listened to you. Make a better plan.

 

And now you are fighting on your own. What do you mean you are doing whatever you can?  

Why won't you let me help?

 

Why did I leave you fighting alone?

 

And even if we got the princess back, while the wormhole took us to different places the only thing I could think about was

 

Please be safe.