"My road of good intentions
Led where such roads always lead
No good deed
She asked us for help and we didn't listen. It was our role to guide her. We let her down. We failed her."
Blue was nothing but a puddle on the floor in Pink's room at the Zoo, staring unseeingly at the thousands of bubbled Rose Quartzes floating in the ceiling. They had been relentlessly hunted down, each last one of them, collected and brought to the Zoo's Diamond chambers; a suitable graveyard until one of the matriarchs decided to shatter them.
Like a sunken statue with her hands folded in front of her gem, she remained frozen for ages, with her tears steadily dripping.
Yellow took another approach. Mass shatterings, colonizations, throwing herself into her work. There were orders to be carried out, duties to be fulfilled, punishments to execute and trials to hold. She had to work for three. Even her own Pearl had been forced to retreat into her gem a few times when she ended up in the crossfire of her wrath.
But every so often Yellow remembered – it always caught up to her.
A few centuries after Pink's disappearance, she finally indulged in a trip to the Zoo, the stupid facility Blue had given her in misdirected generosity. Pink had not appreciated it. Yellow had in turn told the youngest Diamond what would happen if she let such petty things as feelings get in the way of purpose, and here they were.
It had taken a long time for it to sink in, but Yellow was feeling her absence stronger than ever. Paying a visit to Pink's last project would be the closest she could come to her.
Once she arrived, she dismissed her Pearl and sank to her knees in the rose-colored room that had been Pink's own. It felt so strange to be back. She half-expected Pink to just waltz through the door, wearing a big grin on her face and give some lame excuse. Blue always let her get away with it, but White tolerated no such nonsense - her punishments were always strikingly relentless.
If this is another one of her silly 'pranks', I'll bubble her myself and keep her there for the next millennia, Yellow thought.
She remembered the youngest Diamond with equal parts frustration and fondness, regret and remorse. Her loud-mouthed cheeriness and stubbornness, her tantrums and overbearing affection in her attempts to be acknowledged had annoyed Yellow to the moon and back, but she truly missed it now.
Truth to be told, what wouldn't she give up just to have the smaller gem climbing her cloak again to get her attention? Having her sitting perched on her shoulder while making faces to the Citrine soldiers, or resting in Blue's lap while the older gem told her stories of the beginning of empire.
But it was too late now. It was all too late.
I was too soft with her, and I'm to blame. Pink was inexperienced and vulnerable. Naïve, too impulsive. Yet it should have been impossible for any common soldier to leave a single scratch on her gem, and even less -
Impossible, Yellow thought over and over again. It doesn't make any sense.
But Pink Diamond was gone, and all she left behind was this bruising reminder. If Yellow had her way, the whole Zoo would have been shut down and blasted already. Useless emotions led her nowhere. If she ended up like Blue, Homeworld would fall apart.
She was pulled out of her heavy thoughts when she felt Blue's arms around her. Wordless support from her other half, as they mourned the gem they had seen grow and learn. It felt like they had been her creators, after all this time spent teaching her and dealing with her doubts.
It hurt. It did. Blue's violent flood of sadness was contained for once, trying not to make it worse, but silent tears fell down her face like always. Her own Pearl who always used to accompany her in her mourning had been left outside to give them privacy.
Yellow's vision was momentarily blurred with tears as she tensed up. You little fool, Pink.
"You're crossing the line," Yellow warned sternly. She was mostly focused on the screen floating in front of her, not bothering to turn completely towards Pink. The smaller gem stomped her feet and clenched her fists.
"I can't help I'm not like you! I'm just as important as you two!"
Yellow's voice was dismissive. "Then act like it."
"You must behave like a Diamond," Blue told her softly but firmly, stroking the small gem's cheek. Pink grit her teeth and backed away.
"That's all you ever tell me!" she yelled, capturing the full attention of Yellow as well. "If I'm so annoying and useless all the time, why… why don't you just shatter me already? I can't help I was made like this!" Her voice cracked. "White tells me I'm just playing a game. Are you ashamed of me?"
Yellow turned to look at her, before standing up with one resolute movement. Towering tall, she stared down the smaller gem who was trembling in anger and defiance. Yellow Pearl winced in the background; she had seen that look on her owner's face too many times.
Tears overflowed in Pink's wide eyes; fists clenched and shoulders hunched, waiting for the two rulers to act.
A solemn expression filled Blue's eyes, she'd always had a soft spot for the youngest. She turned to the other matriarch, her tone stricter than usual to persuade her. "Yellow -"
"Huh?" Pink looked up through her fluffy bangs, seeing Yellow nod sternly, then sigh and pinch the bridge of her nose in exasperation.
"You may have one colony."
Blue smiled at the youngest. "We're giving you a chance to prove yourself."
Yellow Diamond turned back to her screen, her voice softer than usual, yet commanding. "The condition is that you report back to us regularly and let us know of any issues before they arise. Is that clear?"
"Really? Yay!" Beaming with sudden glee, Pink jumped forward, but stopped herself at the last moment and stood straight. "Pink Diamond reporting for duty."
"No," Blue corrected her. "You don't answer to anyone. You are a Diamond. Never forget that. "
"That's right!" The smaller gem hugged Blue tightly, and got a loving pat in return, before she looked over at Yellow. "I'll prove it to you!"
The final attack against Earth was the only thing that had given Yellow consolation, a small piece of satisfaction. She had put all her wrath and power into the blast, intending to annihilate every crystal gem left on the planet,
White and Blue aided, of course. White's power was cold and blindingly cruel, an unavoidable end for all gems on the planet. Blue's was unstable and messy and Yellow's fierce and hard. Blue wanted a quick and violent revenge, while Yellow wanted a calculated and rational retaliation. The Authority stood tall.
If only Blue would let her crush the remaining Rose Quartzes too… but she refused to allow it. "They're hers!" Blue's last shreds of hope were infuriating, but Yellow could not stay angry with her. The Earth still existed, and Yellow knew it would be millennia before the cluster was ready to emerge. As long as it hadn't she could never forget.
Now, she was crouching down in the room that seemed to scorn them with its rosy colors and pillars. The great Diamond leader paying her respects to someone that wasn't there anymore. How pathetic she felt.
Look at what you made of me, Pink. A miserable fool.
Blue folded her hands in front of her gem, like the way she had cradled Pink's shards. Her voice was heavy like a falling rock.
"Yellow… fuse with me."
She stiffened. "Don't be irrational, Blue. Fusing is for weak gems."
"Please," Blue begged her now, enormous tears falling from her eyes. "I need to be away from myself for a while. I can't stand it. I can't stand myself." She turned half-way as her voice trembled. "I miss her so much. I need to feel you with me."
Yellow put a hand on her shoulder, softly but firmly. "Distract yourself with work and be a leader, Blue. We will speak no more of this."
"Don't you ever grieve?" Blue turned sharply against her, accusation and hurt in every crevice of her drooping face. "Is this all she was to you? Something to be distracted from?"
Yellow's temper flared. "What do you know about how I feel?" she exploded, electricity buzzing around her.
Blue was openly crying, her eyes flaring as a wave of emotion struck them both. Yellow suddenly wanted to cry along. It was just Blue's powers striking her, she concluded, and braced herself for further impact.
The other gem took both her hands in hers. "Please," she whispered. "Humor me this once, Yellow."
She was so close, and Yellow could feel it in the very core of her own gem. This had only happened once before, and that was something they never intended to speak of again. Yet, Blue's ocean-colored gemstone pulsated against her with longing warmth. She leaned in closer, feeling her energy surrounding her and inviting her with incredible power.
"At least dance with me," Blue mumbled. "Like we used to. For her." You know she would like to see it.
Yellow couldn't deny that request. She straightened up and pulled her upright, never disconnecting their hands. In these sacred Diamond chambers, no one could see them or interrupt them… indulging in behavior that didn't fit the Authority's image. White would never know.
Their movements were stiff at first, too different. Blue was moving like a flowing organic waterfall, soft and soundless. Yellow moved in a more stiff fashion, her high heels hitting the floor audibly with every rational, confident step.
For a few minutes they kept up their impromptu dance before it turned more seamless. Yellow spun Blue around in a calculated gesture, then dipped her down, pressed their foreheads together, and retreated. Blue's hands rested on her arms, floating down to her hips, and they danced without thinking. Their auras melted into each other like they were longing for it.
Yellow relaxed slightly and Blue's endless tears came to a halt.
In each other they found solace and peace. They were the center of the universe's grand plan, two of the four - now three founding pieces. Together with White they created the perfect Authority, flawless, perfect and unstoppable.
Blue held her arms around Yellow and leaned closer to her. The other gem pressed their foreheads together, let their lips touch, then kissed her.
"Maybe we can really do this," Blue mused, diamond pupils wide with emotion. "Just this once."
Yellow broke out of her concentration when she stared deeply into them, and found her own resistance dissolving. "Fine. Then, we will put this behind us."
She let her hands settle in the other Diamond's long, flowing hair, and sighed. She ached for it too, an escape from the emotions bottling up inside, and gave in to the feeling of Blue's lips against her gemstone.
In that moment a warm, vibrating feeling rose from their gems, filling their light-composed bodies with heat and elation, and Yellow could feel the core of herself diving into Blue, embracing her, becoming one with her. A vibration of light so strong even she couldn't resist the invitation. They were each other's counterparts, fitting so seamlessly together it was like they had never been apart.
Blue felt herself falling into Yellow. Her radiating light was greater than everyone said; Yellow was like a supernova pulling her in, dangerously bright, and Blue eagerly let herself be swallowed by it.
She opened her eyes, feeling herself hit the ceiling in the large crystal room. Her hands shimmered like thousands of small gems were embedded in them, a light almost as lustrous and strong as White herself.
When she moved, it was with uncertainty at first, trying to measure how tall the steps should be and the pace in which to take them, but suddenly it felt right. Last time they fused had been unplanned, causing them to instantly fall apart in a mess of emotion, but this was different.
No longer was she alone with her mind and thoughts and regret. She was a part of something whole, a feeling so comforting it dulled the violent sorrow. She had someone to share the burden with in a completely different, intimate way.
Clenching her four green-shimmering hands once before relaxing, she saw the emerald light radiating off her and reflecting off the walls. It made the entire room light up in an eerie color that none of her parts had seen before. The last tears had turned into icy crystals on her face, falling to the ground and shattering into a million pieces, crunching underneath her heavy steps.
This room felt so vulnerable, these pillars could break like sticks in her hand. Her height and size matched White's, like a shadow looming over Homeworld. The feeling of power and strength was intoxicating, but not overwhelming. They would not get lost and forget their purpose.
"White can't ever know," she said to herself, feeling the double command in her tone.
Pink would have loved to see this.
"Stop." She gritted her sharp teeth to the part of herself that was Blue. She felt unstable, torn apart for a short moment before she composed herself. "She's gone."
The emotions were stronger in this way, hitting them both with a force they had not anticipated, mixing all nuances of anger and sorrow with guilt.
She fell to her knees, hearing the floor crack open under her weight, burying her face in her hands.
"I am here," she whispered to herself. "And I want to be me for a little longer. As close to you as I can be."
"We are going to erase that planet." Her voice was thicker and stronger, echoing with a authority strong enough to make other gems lose their forms had they heard it, as she spoke from her wide, sharp mouth. The green cloak was spread like an ocean of stars around her, shimmering faintly.
She watched the floating bubbles through her shared eyes, cried her crystallized tears, and rested in silence as she cradled Pink's remains in her hands.
To never forgive and never forget.