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Little Do You Know

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It was the first time you had seen Dabi in three days. He had been out on assignment, and per usual he didn’t tell you what exactly that assignment was. However, since he returned earlier that evening you could tell something was off. He was quieter than usual, and for some reason had been avoiding eye contact with you all night. You attempted once more to meet his gaze but found little success as he continued to eat silently, staring at nothing but his food. Although, despite his odd behavior you still found comfort in his presence.

You had been in a relationship for awhile but his work was still a sensitive topic. Dabi never had to explain to you how dangerous his job was, you were already aware.

Every time he left, you knew there was only be three possible outcomes regarding the next time you would see him. First, being that he would come home to you. Obviously the is most desirable outcome. Two, next time you seen him there would be bars between you both. And the last outcome which probably made you the most uncomfortable, was that you wouldn’t see him again.

You shake your head, trying to push such thoughts away.

"Dabi, I--"

Before you could even speak he cut you off by suddenly standing up from his seat, "I'm going to bed, goodnight y/n."

Saying not a word more, he leaves you alone. As desperately as you wanted to understand what he was thinking and what he was feeling, you couldn't and it would be a lie to say that fact didn’t hurt. Dabi was always there for you when you needed him yet he never let you do the same;

Taking a deep breath, you try to calm yourself down. Even though you weren’t arguing about anything you could tell he was avoiding you and that was all the more painful. Tears threatened to fall down your cheeks but you shut your eyes tight, refusing to let them. You were always the more emotional one in this relationship, but now wasn’t the time for that.

Without even bothering to finish your food, you quickly clean up the kitchen. Lazily leaving the dishes in the sink to be washed the next morning. And as a poor attempt to distract yourself from the situation, you turn on the TV. Though this doesn't work at all, your mind is still full with thoughts of Dabi. You question whether or not you should go sleep in the bedroom with him, the bed was one that you were supposed to share together. But with little to no debate at all you decide it would be best to leave him alone for the night. Laying down on the couch you wrap yourself in a small throw blanket. The TV blending into background noise as your eyes wander the dimly lit apartment. Memories from the day you moved in flooding your thoughts.

You and Dabi had spent weeks looking for a place together. He was originally very opposed to the idea, worrying that living together would only put you in danger. Though after much persuasion on your part, Dabi finally gave in.

After finding this apartment, everything finally felt right. Decorating was a lot of fun and things felt oddly normal despite your very abnormal lives. You and Dabi picked out the couches and curtains and other such things together. Bickering a bit when he cared too little about the color paint and you a little too much. Although, no matter the arguments you two had; one way or another you both always made up.

As thoughts of that day continue to fill your head, you feel yourself drifting off to sleep. Pain welling up in your chest, he smiled so much that day. You just wanted to see his smile again. Too tired to fight them, the tears finally begin to fall.

* * * * *

Dabi stood firm watching as the blue flames engulfed everyone in front of him. The entire room completely silent, the only thing he could hear being the sound of burning flesh.

"Wow nice job Dabi!" yelled Twice, overly enthusiastic as usual.

"Whatever."

"Targets eradicated." Toga spoke into the phone, as she stood unphased by the door.

The people they had killed were those that made up a small magazine company. They had hoped to make profit off of leaking information about the league. Even riskily sending in one of their journalist undercover. Though it didn't take long before Shigaraki was able to connect the dots and called for the complete slaughter of the poor company.

"Ugh this was so boring," Toga complained. "Dabi's the only one that got to have any fun. Let's just go already, maybe I can still salvage this night."

Twice and Toga wasted no time at all leaving and once they were gone Dabi let out an agitated sigh.

“This is disgusting.” He says aloud to himself, kicking one of the dead bodies over.

As he turned to make his own way out the door but something pulled at his legs stopping him. It was a women.

"Please...save...me." She said, her voice barely audible. She looked up at him, her eyes pleading. As she gripped both his legs with as much strength as she could muster.

It confused Dabi how she could even still be alive. Squatting down he pulled the woman's arms off his legs. Her blood coating the palms of his hands.

"I’m not here save you."

Just as the words slipped off his tongue the girls body ignited into flames. Her screams drowning out the room.

* * * * *

Dabi sat up in a cold sweat, his heart pounding in his chest. He took multiple deep breaths but for some reason couldn't seem to calm down. This was unlike him. He had killed tons of people in the past but never had it affected him like this.

Looking down at his hands, they were still slightly stained from the blood that once covered them. Dabi had spent two days trying desperately to get it off because didn't want you to see his hand like that.

As you came to mind he looked around room, only to find it empty. Getting up he peeked his head outside the bedroom, hearing the living room TV still on. Walking out to the living he finds you fast asleep on the couch.

Looking at you sleeping so peacefully caused a pang of guilt in his chest. He pondered briefly if perhaps you were mad at him when you went to sleep. And knowing how he acted at dinner, he was half expecting that to be the case. Walking over to the couch, Dabi sits on the floor beside you. Examining your face, he sees the tears lying still in your cheeks.

"She was crying," He thinks to himself.

Laying his head on the couch next to you, his heart aches. Dabi had endured a lot of things in his life, but you crying was something he could not. It was painful to see and knowing he was the cause didn’t help either.

You shuffled in your sleep, opening your eyes to find Dabi in front of you. He was staring at the floor quietly. Without thinking you reach out and run your fingers through his hair.

He looks up is shock.

"Sorry!" You blurt out suddenly, pulling your hand away.

He grabs your hand, quickly pulling you off the couch and into a tight hug. Shocked as well your only instinct is to hug him back.

"No, I'm sorry." He whispers.

You pull awayconfused, "For what?"

"For everything. For always hiding stuff from you and never explaining why things happen or why I am the way I am.."

Pulling him back into a hug you speak softly, "You haven't done anything wrong though."

"I made you cry."

"You didn't! I was just reminiscing before I fell asleep. Besides.. I'm the one whose sorry for upsetting you."

Dabi's eyes widened, and the guilt within him grew stronger. He knew you always blamed yourself, never once getting seriously mad at him. Even in the situations where you would of been totally justified to be.

"No y/n. Trust me, I messed up this time."

"You didn’t."

"I did."

"Dabi, Stop!"

"I killed someone y/n!" He yelled.

That’s it! That’s why this recent kill was bothering him so much. It was the first time he had killed someone since you moved in together. He took someone's life and then got to come home to you smiling like nothing ever happened.

While not daring to meet your eyes, silence filled the room. He only waited patiently for your reaction. For you to finally release all your anger and disgust towards him.

Although to Dabi’s surprise, he found your arms wrapping around him tighter.

"Are you okay?"

Shocked, he replies "I killed someone and your asking if I'm okay?"

You looked at him concerned, "Of course."

Dabi didn't really know what to say. He had never spoken to you about the things he does and although you knew he was a villain, he had always assumed that you chose to ignore the uglier side of things.

"Dabi.." you start "I'm not a child and I'm not stupid. I watch TV,  I know what's said on the news and what's written in papers. Hell! Just the other day I saw a wanted poster with your face on it!"

He was unsure how to respond so you decided to continue.

"Never once did I think you were out there saving people or rescuing cats from trees! But it doesn't matter to me what you've done or what you will do. What matters to me is the effect those things will have on you. Hero or villain, good or bad, we are all human. We all have burdens, and I know for a fact you carry more than others. I just wish you'd share those burdens with me."

"I just never told you before because I know you and I knew that you’d say something like that but babe you don’t have the faintest idea about the weight you’re asking to carry." Dabi started, “The concept of murder may seem straightforward, but little do you know the effect that taking someone's life can have. It haunts you and tears you apart little by little until your sanity is completely gone but regardless of knowing that I have killed people! I will continue to kill people! That’s just who I am, it’s in my nature and I’m sorry y/n!”

"Don't be! Dabi, don’t you think there is a reason I never asked about that stuff. I knew you had your reasons for not telling me things and all I have ever wanted was to make things easier on you. I don’t mind waiting until you ready to tell me things but please don’t try to carry all these burdens by yourself, I’m here for you. I will always be here for you. Your burdens are mine as well and I’m not afraid to carry them with you. I know I’ve always been a liability to you, a weakness but I want you to trust me.” You cry, tears now streaming down your face uncontrollably.

"I do trust you.." Dabi whispers while wiping the tears off your face, "I admit for a long time I also seen you as my weakness.  But now I know that's not true, y/n you are what keeps me sane and probably the only thing in this world that keeps me from turning into a complete monster. I know it took me a long time to realize it but you gotta understand that I have been alone for the majority of my life and it was terrifying how one day you just walked into my life with this radiating smile and suddenly it is like I can’t live without you. But I know I don’t deserve you but..."

Dabi's words stumbled a bit as his gaze found yours and despite the millions of things you wanted to say back to him, all you could do was smile. Because regardless of the circumstances, it was finally happening. After almost 2 years of being together he was opening up to you.

He kept his gaze locked with yours which allowed you admired his eyes and all their beauty.

“I love you.” You say, finally speaking up. “Every part of you. Good or bad. And I’m sorry to break it to you but I’m never gonna leave you alone.”

“Guess I’m stuck,” He laughs. “I love you too y/n. I’m sorry for being difficult but I do trust you. I just need you to trust me when I say one day I’ll tell you everything.”

“Okay, I will.” You say cuddling to his chest with a smile.

He placed a kiss on the top of your head, holding you even closer to him without any intention of ever letting go.