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Babysitting

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“Dad, I don’t understand why you can’t just let me babysit…” Kankuro muttered bitterly. He followed his parent into the open bathroom, watching the male fix his hair and freshen up. “I’ve babysat a million times before!”

Sasori rolled his eyes, “I’m aware, but you’ve broken the rules and my trust in you. Don’t you remember why I’m not letting you babysit? Does sneaking out ring a bell at all?”

Kankuro grumbled, “It was only like for ten minutes…”

The redhead glared lightly at his son, “While you were supposed to be babysitting and Temari told me it was more than just ten minutes.”

The teenager huffed, “She was lying!”

The older male shook his head and sighed, “I’m not gonna argue about this any further, Kankuro. When Deidara gets here, you are-” The sound of the doorbell ringing alerted the family. “Ah, he’s here. Right on time,” the redhead smiled proudly. Practically running to the door, Sasori beat his children to the punch and opened it to reveal his young lover. He smiled and leaned down to give the blond a quick smooch. “Thanks for doing this.”

Deidara kissed back happily and followed the redhead inside. He waved shyly to the children as they passed through the family room. The two youngest were sitting on the floor watching TV and  snacking on what seemed to be pop-tarts. The blond rose an eyebrow, “I thought you said, I’d have to cook?”

Sasori hummed in question, before seeing his children. “Hey!” The one glance and word sent the kiddos running, snacks in hands. The redhead sighed, “Yes, I’d like you to.” The redhead opened the door to his office and gathered his work supplies. “Kankuro is in his room. He’s rather… upset at the moment. If you find out he has snuck out, send me a text and I’ll take care of it when I get home.”

The blond nodded and admired the redhead’s butt as he bent over to collect his briefcase. “I’m sure he won’t cause too much trouble, un.”

“If only,” the redhead sighed once more. “Alright, I have to get going now. You only need to feed them and make sure they get to bed on time. I know it's the weekend and they’ll complain, but I don’t want them staying up too late. You can stay over when I get home, if you want.”

Deidara smiled, “That’d be awesome.”

Sasori returned the gesture and gave him one last kiss. “Thank you. I’ll see you in about eight or so hours.”

The blond escorted the redhead out of his home and waved him goodbye. Once the older male had left, Deidara was alone with the man’s three unpredictable children. Turning around, he bumped into a small person - Gaara. He smiled and before he could even breathe a word out the boy was gone. “Nevermind then,” he muttered to himself. Mustering up all the courage he had in him, the blond shuffled around the house searching for the children.

While he had met the kiddos many times before, he had never spent time with them or even babysat them at all! Not that he would’ve minded - Sasori just had never asked until now. He sighed at the thought of his stressed lover. “Poor Daddy,” he muttered to himself. Touring the home, he did manage to find Temari and Kankuro, however, Gaara was nowhere to be found! Coming back to Temari’s room, he asked the girl for some help.

“He’s probably hiding again,” she said boredly. Her eyes never left her phone as she spoke, “He has this secret hiding spot, but none of us have been able to find it. Don’t worry about it too much. He won’t leave the house - he knows better.”

Deidara frowned, but nodded. Despite the girl’s words, he felt uneasy about leaving the boy to his own devices. What if he got hurt or lost!? Sasori would never forgive him if his kid got hurt under Deidara’s care. Like a good babysitter, the blond retoured the house once more. He had to find this kid at least once! “Gaara!” he called out. “Won’t you come out, so I can at least know you’re alive and well?”

He waited and listened. Nothing. Cursing the blond inspected the boy’s room once more. “Gaara, please!” he pleaded. “If… If you come out you can have a snack instead of vegetables!” Sure, this wasn’t the best tactic and surely Sasori wouldn’t approve, but damn it he needed to find the boy!

“What kind of snack?”

Deidara nearly jumped out of his skin and turned around violently. He stared down wide eyed at the boy. The little redhead didn’t make a sound at all! “Gaara!”

“What kind of snack?” the boy repeated his question.

The blond let out a breath of relief. “Whatever you want, un. I’m just glad that I-”

“I want cookies,” Gaara demanded. “The kind daddy makes.”

Deidara bit his bottom lip, “Uh, well did your dad make some?”

“No.”

The blond could’ve beat his head against the wall, but decided that that wouldn’t be the best of ideas. “Well… how about we drive to store to get some?”

Gaara stood quietly.

Deidara grew worried.

Finally. “Okey.”

The blond beamed at the acceptance. “Alright! It’s settled then! Go get your sister and let her know. I’ll get your big brother.”

Gaara nodded and ran through the door sounding like a herd of elephants. “TEMARI WE’RE GOING TO THE STOOORE!”

This baffled the college student in more ways than one. How could such a quiet kid become loud within the next few seconds!? Shaking his head on it, Deidara walked past the little boy banging on his sister’s door. As he reached Kankuro’s door, he could hear the loud death metal playing from behind it. He sighed in nostalgia - he remembered his death metal days. Ah, the good old high school days. Pounding the door with his fist, he tried to alert the teenager before entering. He honestly hated it when his parents busted in on him and knew the boy probably did too. Kankuro was at that age and, let’s be honest, masturbation is a big part of the growing teenage years. Or it was for him anyways. Realizing what he just thought, Deidara made sure to catalogued that thought into the ‘ I should not being thinking of that’ thought folder.

“What do you want?” Kankuro snapped.

Deidara blinked, surprised. Had the brunet been standing there the whole time? “Sorry,” the blond smiled in apology. “We’re going to the grocery store. Normally, I’d tell you that you stay, but Sasori would probably get mad at me.”

“And we wouldn’t that to happen,” the teenager said sarcastically. “I’m not going.”

The blond huffed, “C’mon, Kankuro, it’s not the end of the world. You don’t exactly have a choice-”

“What? You gonna drag me out of the house?”

Deidara glared, “Seriously? If you didn’t want to be babysat that badly, you shouldn’t have disobeyed your dad, un.”

Kankuro glared back. “And you’re not my dad, so you can’t make me do anything.”

“Why’re you making this harder than it needs to be? Your siblings are ready-”

“I don’t care.”

“Well you should!” Deidara snapped. “You should be thankful that I haven’t dragged your ass out yet!”

Kankuro crossed his arms, “I should be thankful? You’re the one who should be thankful,” he hissed. “I’m the entire reason why you get dick every other night.”

The blond’s face lit up in embarrassment and rage. “How can you even say something like that, un!?” He groaned as he heard the other two children start to get restless. “Oh my god, can we please just go already. Stop acting like a stubborn brat!”

“You’re not even that much older than me, so who’re you calling brat, you brat!”

“Hey! Only your dad can call me that!” the blond snapped.

Kankuro’s nose scrunched up, “Ew.”

The blond nearly gaped at the boy, “You literally just made a comment about us having sex a minute ago. How is him calling me brat in any way disgusting?” At the sound of something falling and breaking Deidara facepalmed hard. “Look,” he groaned, “just come with us to the store and I’ll… uh, I’ll buy you a new video game or something.”

The brunet’s face relaxed, before he begrudgingly agreed. “Fine. Only if you buy me a new game.”

Deidara nodded, “Yes, let’s go now, please!” The blond ushered the boy out of his room and collected all the kids into his car after locking up. When he turned around from locking the front doors, he found the kids all staring at his car. “What? She’s unlocked. Go ahead and get in.”

“It looks like death,” Kankuro stated blandly.

Temari nodded, “Are you sure you’re a good driver?”

“Daddy’s car is a lot nicer...” Gaara mumbled.

Deidara huffed and put his hands on his hips, “Oh, come on! She’s a great car!” The blond walked up to his baby and gave her a good pat on her hood. “Ol’ Becca here has got me around since my highschool days, un!”

“Which wasn’t too long ago,” the teenager muttered.

“Becca?” the girl asked in disgust.

“Can we go now?” the little redhead complained.

Deidara sighed and ushered the children in. “Yeah, yeah. Let’s go.” He gave his car one last pat. “You still mean a lot to me, girl.”

In no time - with the children screaming in fear in the back - they reached the grocery store. Gaara was the first one out of the car. The blond had to actually hold onto the boy’s hand to make sure he didn’t go running off into the middle of traffic. “Alright, I have only one rule. Behave .”

All three kids nodded.

“Good,” Deidara smiled actually believing the children.

It was once they reached the doors and stepped foot into the building that Deidara realize he had been fooled. Gaara and Temari had nodded at each other before running off in opposite directions. Deidara panicked and tried to grab them, but fell short. “Damn it!” he cursed. Grabbing a car as quickly as he could, he chased after Gaara, considering he was a hider and was damn good at it. “Kankuro, find Temari!” he yelled back at the teenager before disappearing behind an aisle.

The teenager sighed and rolled his eyes. HIs family and his dad’s lover were embarrassing. Following the path that Temari took, Kankuro found the girl examining a box of cereal. “While, I admit it’s kind of funny making Deidara work harder than necessary, it’s also really embarrassing to be seen with you guys. Let’s go find him and Gaara.” He reached out and grabbed her shoulder.

Temari growled, “No way, loser!” With all the might of a thirteen year old, the girl stomped on the boy’s foot, blew him a raspberry, and then ran off.

Kankuro swore and wiped the spit from his face. “You little-!” He chased after her to the other aisle only to crash into someone. “Shit, sorry-”

“Kankuro? Dude!” the guy laughed. “We thought you couldn’t make it tonight?”

The teenager blinked and stared at his friends. “Oh, shit, hey. What’re you guys doing here?”

“We’re picking up booze for the party,” his friend grinned. “We got Rin’s older brother to buy it for us.”

“No shit?” Kankuro asked. “W-Wait? Rin is going to the party?”

“Hell yeah. So, are you coming after all?”

Kankuro frowned and furrowed his eyebrows, “Ugh, I wish I could. Dad busted me and grounded me.”

His other friend rolled his eyes, “C’mon, you’re seventeen now. That’s almost eighteen. Groundings are for babies!”

“That’s what I told him!” the teeanger groaned. “It’s fucking stupid.”

“Then just ditch and skip with us!” his pal grinned. “You already made it to the grocery store. Why’re you even here, man?”

Kankuro rolled his eyes, “That’s the problem. My dad got Deidara to babysit.”

“Deidara? Who’s-”

“There you are!” the blond sighed. “I finally found Temari and Gaara. We’re all ready to check out. Did you want anything, un?”

Kankuro shook his head, “I’m fine. Can you just… check out? Gimme a sec to talk with the guys?”

Deidara bit his lip unsure.

“I swear I won’t run off,” he rolled his eyes.

The blond grumbled but complied and left the group of teeangers.

Kankuro sighed and turned back to his friends. The reaction he received was not expected. All the guys were grinning like the Cheshire cat. He blinked, “What?”

“Duuude! The babysitter is hot as fuck!”

“Yeah, no wonder you don’t really care about coming. You’re gonna bone the babysitter.”

Kankuro blanched, “No, guys-”

His friends snickered and some even proceed to hump the air, mocking the poor teenager. “Get some, Kankuro!” they joked.

“Damn, she was fine.”

“No, you guys don’t understand-”

His friend patted him on the back, “Older too, huh? College maybe?”

“Yes, but we’re not-”

A chorus of “daaayuuum” followed.

“Guys, Deidara isn’t-”

With laughter and cheers, the friends waved Kankuro off and wished him good luck with the hot babe.

“a girl…” he muttered finally. With a sigh, he shook his head and found the blond just as they finished checking out. This was definitely something he’d be hearing about for weeks. “Why do you have to look so much like a chick?” Kankuro complained as he rushed out the doors.

Deidara huffed, “What’d I do?”

When they got home, Deidara was quick to make dinner. Sadly, Deidara wasn’t much of a cook, so the food turned out burnt. The food was so badly burnt that none of them could even stomach it down - even with cookies to chase it! In the end, the blond called a nearby pizza place and they all enjoyed a tasty cheese pizza. It was over the course of dinner that Deidara actually felt welcome. The kids were really opening up to him. Hell, even Kankuro was talking to him nicely!

After eating and hour of lounging about, Deidara put the kids - Temari and Gaara rather - to bed. Kankuro was definitely old enough to make his own sleeping decisions, but the blond made sure to check up on him. If the boy did manage to sneak out, he didn’t want to get in trouble with Sasori either. Luckily enough, Kankuro was just watching a movie on netflix.

Since the kids were all mostly asleep, Deidara decided to take this time to freshen up a bit. He knew the chances of Sasori actually doing anything with him tonight were about .0000001%, but he felt like getting dolled up anyways. He could careless if he woke up with makeup smeared all over his face - although Sasori would throw a fit about his pillows. The blond snorted at the thought. What an old man. Either way, the blond took a quick shower and reapplied his makeup with his readily available makeup kit conveniently kept at Sasori’s. Unbeknownst to Deidara, a certain little redhead had snuck out of bed and was spying on the babysitter - curious as to what he was doing.

Little Gaara really didn’t understand what makeup was. While he had seen it painted on his mom’s face and occasionally Temari, he had never seen it be applied. It was surprise to see Deidara without his makeup. He had never seen the blond without it. Gaara slipped through the door and crawled to the bed - hiding under it. Even though he was six, he was still rather petite. Shuffling as quietly as he could. Thankfully, his dad kept everything neat and tidy, so he didn’t have to worry about hitting any junk underneath. Poking his head out just a little, Gaara was able to see the blond from behind. Seeing the process of makeup being put on was not possible though. Looking around, he found that he’d be able to view from the closet doors a lot better. With steps quieter than a ninja, Gaara crawled, rolled, then slipped into the closet.

Deidara stopped applying his foundation when he heard the slightest creak. Looking around for a moment, he tried to find the source. Nothing. Shaking it off, Deidara went back to his makeup,

Gaara let out a silent sigh and wiped the nonexistent sweat from his forehead. He had nearly got caught! Cracking open the door just a little, he watched with curious eyes at what the blond did next.

Digging around in the makeup bag, Deidara tried to locate his eyebrow trimmer. Frowning when he couldn’t find it, he ended up taking the razor from Sasori’s master bath. He didn’t like using actual razors on his beautiful brows, but without his trimmer, plucking alone would be a bitch. He’d just use it for the shape.

The redhead watched in fascination. He had never seen his dad do that with the razor! The only time he had seen his dad use that was on his face. He also used this white cream that often looked like a shorter version of Santa’s beard. How come Deidara wasn’t using it?

After fixing up his eyebrows, he reached for a small black bottle. He couldn’t help but smirk at the perfect wings he created. If more jobs relied on his skill for making perfect eyeliner wings then he’d probably have a better job. Unfortunately, the real world just doesn’t work that way. Oh, well. To finish up his look, he searched for his seductive lip gloss. He’d at least get a some smooches tonight and this particular lip gloss was just perfect for that!

Having finished his makeup, Deidara switched off the light and left the room. Waiting for the descending steps to diminish, Gaara slowly crept out once he was gone. He quickly ran to the light switch as if the dark would eat him and was relieved when the room lit up before he was taken by whatever lurked in the dark. Dragging the nearby footrest, Gaara propped the piece of furniture against the dresser. He climbed up and pulled out everything Deidara had used to make his face. This would be fun!

Within a matter of minutes, Gaara had transformed from regular old Gaara to super chiche Gaara - or at least to whatever he thought was equal to chiche. The redhead smugly grinned at his reflection. He looked even better than Deidara! Perhaps he should go to the blond and show him how the professionals did it.

Gaara walked with confidence as he stepped down the stairs. Leaning over the railing, he could already see Deidara sitting on the couch on his laptop. Squinting, Gaara could make out that the blond was looking at underwear. What a weirdo. “Why’re you looking at undies?” he asked, sneaking up behind the blond.

“Oh my god! Gaara!” Deidara quickly shut his computer and whipped around. “Oh my god, Gaara!” he shrieked again. “What the hell did you do to your face, un!?”

The little redhead frowned, “I painted it pretty like you. You don’t like it?”

Deidara opened his mouth to try and say something. No words could express his thoughts on the boy’s new look. He had an unreasonable amount of foundation on - most of it uneven and made the boy sickly pale. Then there was the eyeliner. Least to say, the redhead looked like he was really into the emo look or thought that raccoons had the right idea. Deidara prayed for his eyeliner. Finally there was the biggest shocker of all. The boy’s eyebrows - they were completely gone! The blond couldn’t help but stare in horror. Clearing his throat, Deidara fumbled with his words. “It’s, uh… You did a good job. The heart was a nice touch… Uh, your dad might be a little upset about the eyebrows though…”

Gaara frowned and rubbed his shaven brow space. “I messed up, so I tried to fix it… Will daddy be mad at me?”

The blond gave the boy a small smile, “It’s alright. They'll grow back. Your dad won’t get mad at you. I promise.”

The little redhead nodded.

“Let’s get you cleaned up and tucked back in bed though. Your dad will be mad if you aren’t asleep when he gets home.” Deidara then whipped out his phone. “But first, why don’t we take a picture, so your dad can see as well.”

“Good idea!”

After the picture, Gaara raced up the stairs to the bathroom. Deidara sighed. Any small chance he had at getting laid was completely gone.

Later that night, a quarter after twelve, Sasori returned home. The poor man was exhausted and carelessly left his stuff by the door - he could get it in the morning. All he wanted to do was sleep. Glancing at the couch, he smiled. The blond was curled up, sleeping in a ball. The redhead found the remote to the tv and shut it off. Bending down, he slipped his arms beneath the blond and picked him up bridal style. Despite his best efforts to let the boy continue sleeping - he woke up. The blond wrapped his arms around the redhead and curled up closer to his chest.

“About time,” Deidara muttered into his neck.

Sasori hummed and carried the blond up to his room. Once inside, he laid the blond down and closed the door softly. He could hear the boy sit up to watch him as he changed out of his work clothes. Slipping on some night pants, he couldn’t help but chuckle when the blond let out a whine of protest. He was about to put on a shirt, but stopped when the blond pouted.

Turning off the lights, he crawled into bed next to the blond. “You’re such a baby, brat.” He pulled the boy close and kissed him on the forehead. “Why’re you wearing makeup? You’re gonna ruin my pillows…”

Deidara yawned and shrugged, “I look pretty, don’t I?”

“You always look pretty.”

The blond smiled and kissed the man on the lips. “Pretty enough to kiss, un?~”

Sasori complied and kissed back. “Of course.”

“More, please,” Deidara demanded.

“We’re both tired-”

“I wore my special gloss for you.”

“Dei-”

“Until I fall asleep, un.”

Sasori pursed his lips - ignoring the kisses Deidara gave him. He then sighed and gave in. “Until you fall asleep.”

Deidara smiled into the kiss. “You’re the best, Danna. Love you.”

“I love you too, you adorable brat.”

The next morning had been eventful. While Deidara spent most of the night making out with his lover, he forgot all about the Gaara incident. To say Sasori was surprised was an understatement. The only words that Sasori could form was “Where are your eyebrows?” Least to say, Gaara was prohibited from touching anything razor like from that day forward.