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MovesLikeJaeger has added Nightwing, NerdyNerd, Captin, Commander, TitanLover, SwagKing, FreckledJesus, Emotionless, Stupid, Stupider, I'mGod, PleaseBeKind, I'mLoud, and I'mQuiet to the group chat.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Hey guys!

NerdyNerd: ???

Nightwing: Eren, why'd you make this.

MovesLikeJaeger: Because I wanted to talk to you all without you having to be in the room.
MovesLikeJaeger: Plus, everyone knows the embarrasing stories and secrets come out in a group chat.

Captin: Brat, shouldn't you be writing?

Stupider: Oh yeah! Eren has that writing major thing.

PleaseBeKind: Are you working on a new assignment?

MovesLikeJaeger: No I'm working in a new piece. I'm thinking about making it about our college adventures!

TitanLover: Great idea! Hey Levi, remember that one time you got so wasted that you

Captin: Shut it four eyes!

TitanLover: But Ravioli~

Captin: My name is Rivaille!

TitanLover: That's what I said! Ravioli!

Captin: Forget it.

MovesLikeJaeger: Can someone help me? I'm deciding between accident #32 and #76.

I'mGod: Accident #32 and #76???

MovesLikeJaeger: Accident #32 is where Jean's car ended up in the lake, and accident #76 is where Connie's hand was burned.

Stupider: Accident #76 hurt a lot...

SwagKing: You actually keep track of all the accidents??

MovesLikeJaeger: 1. Yes I do. 2. THAT USERNAME!!!

SwagKing: It was all I could think of!

FreckledJesus: It's true, he even asked me.

Stupider: y couldnt u have put horseface?? we would no who u are lol.

Captin: Your grammar is terrible.

Stupider: i no lol.

MovesLikeJaeger: As a writer, this truely hurts me.

NerdyNerd: I don't write anything but sloppy science notes, and this hurts me....

Captin: Four eyes does the same thing. You get used to it.

TitanLover: Where's Erwin?

NerdyNerd: He's talking to his dad over the phone.

Captin: I never did like that his dad.

TitanLover: Neither did I, but I dealt with him.

MovesLikeJaeger: Hello??? Which one, #32 or #76??

NerdyNerd: I think you should go with #76.

Nightwing: Yeah, that one's good.

SwagKing: ^^^

MovesLikeJaeger: Okay! #76 it is!

TitanLover: Did I ever tell you all the story of how Erwin burnt his eyebrows off?

Captin: Oh God...

Chapter Text

Stupid: Do you all ever just....ask questions that make you question life?

Stupider: ???

MovesLikeJaeger: All the time.

SwagKing: Like what?

MovesLikeJaeger: Oh my God, you never changed your username!!!

I'mGod: I'm just going to point out that even Connie doesn't know what's going on.

FreckledJesus: Should we be worried?

Stupid: Like "Bathtubs are opposite boats."

MovesLikeJaeger: ...what?

Stupider: OOOOOHHHH MYYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOD!

TitanLover: I never thought about that! I wonder if bathtubs will work as boats...

MovesLikeJaeger: H-how? What???

Stupid: There's also "Out of all 7 billion people alive, someone, somewhere in the world, qualifies as the worst human alive."

MovesLikeJaeger: Okay, true...

SwagKing: Well, we found him. Everybody meet Levi Ackerman!!!

TitanLover: HEY! LEVI IS NOT THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD, AND NO ONE CAN SAY OTHER WISE!!!

MovesLikeJaeger: ^. He's also really great in bed.

Captin: Nobody needed to know that, but I'm glad you feel like you can brag about me Brat.

MovesLikeJaeger: I'm never getting rid of that nickname am I?

TitanLover: NOPE!! I WON'T ALLOW IT!

FreckledJesus: Back to the subject at hand, Sasha what's the point in this?

Stupid: To make you question your life. NEXT!

Stupid: "Wizards smoke out of long pipes so they don't risk setting their beards on fire."

NerdyNerd: EREN! DON'T DO IT!

MovesLikeJaeger: 1. Are you just stalking the G.C.? 2. HARRY POTTER!!!

NerdyNerd: 1. Yes. 2. Why do you like the movies?

MovesLikeJaeger: I like the movies, but I LOVE the books.

MovesLikeJaeger: Another Harry Potter themed question:
MovesLikeJaeger: Harry can use magic to fix his glasses, but he can't use it to fix his eyes?

Stupider:.....Oh my god....

FreckledJesus: Um......because the writer never thought of that.
FreckledJesus: Who wrote the Harry Potter series anyway??

MovesLikeJaeger: 1. J.K. Rowling or Joanne "Jo" Rowling.
MovesLikeJaeger: I doubt that she "never thought of that" idea since she wrote
MovesLikeJaeger: This whole series of a magic school named "Hogwarts".

SwagKing: Where did the "K" come from??

MovesLikeJaeger: It's a pen name, she probably got from a nickname or smth.

Commander: Smth?

MovesLikeJaeger: I SWEAR EVERYONE'S JUST STALKING THE GROUP CHAT!!

Captin: It's an acronym for something. I didn't think you were that old that you didn't know about acronyms.

Commander: I know about acronyms, Ravioli.

Captin: Shut. It.

Commander: :).

MovesLikeJaeger: ^ↀᴥↀ^, (=ↀωↀ=)✧, (๑ↀᆺↀ๑)✧, ヾ(*ΦωΦ)ノ, (ΦωΦ), (●ↀωↀ●), (ΦзΦ), (ΦωΦ), (*ΦωΦ*).

FreckledJesus: What's that supposed to be?..

Captin: A cat. They're cat emoticons, and he's been texting me them for FOREVER.

MovesLikeJaeger: Because you're a cat! A black cat! There's a lot of names for you!

Captin: Like what?

MovesLikeJaeger: Black cat, Witches' cat, Badluck, Black Beauty, and Ace!

Stupider: Ace???

MovesLikeJaeger: Ace of spades!

Stupider: oooooooh!
Stupider: Wait, no, still don't get it.

MovesLikeJaeger: Ace of spades card are black (Black cats!! Hello!)

Stupider: Got it!

I'mGod: I'll point out that th erest of us are just stalking the group chat.

PleaseBeKind: Yeah..
I'mLoud: Yep.
I'mQuiet: Yes.
Emotionless: ^
Commander:^
TitanLover:^
Nightwing: ^

 

Captin: Now I am, but earlier I wasn't.
Captin: Same with Erwin and Hanji

MovesLikeJaeger: Why y'all gotta be stalkers of a group chat, I'll never know.

SwagKing: Did you just say "Y'all"?

MovesLikeJaeger: Yes. Problem?

SwagKing: Who says "Y'all"?

MovesLikeJaeger: Shut up! It's how I learned to talk.

SwagKing: I'm surprised you didn't say "Learnt".

MovesLikeJaeger:...I'm just gonna

MovesLikeJaeger has kicked SwagKing from the group chat.

MovesLikeJaeger: Better. So much better.

Chapter Text

MovesLikeJaeger: GUYS!!! I FOUND THE PERFECT VIDEO TO REACT TO!!!!

NerdyNerd: ???

MovesLikeJaeger: I'm sending the video to all of you!

SwagKing: Why should I do this?

MovesLikeJaeger: Because you're a broke college student and I'll give you $20.

SwagKing: This means that mutch to you?

MovesLikeJaeger: Yep.

SwagKing: Deal. ONLY IF YOU GIVE ME THE $20 BECAUSE I TRUELY AM A BROKE COLLEGE STUDENT!

MovesLikeJaeger: Okay. EVERYONE START THE VIDEO!

I'mLoud: Why is the redhaired guy so excited? I get it, your team won, but geez!

MovesLikeJaeger: His name is Ron, and he's excitied because his team hasn't won in years.

I'mLoud: Got it.

Stupid: Is the camera actually floating?

Captin:....Are you that dumb?

PleaseBeKind: Levi!! Please be as nice as you can!

SwagKing: He has no nice setting. In fact, it's 0%.

Commander: Nice setting?

MovesLikeJaeger: Don't ask, just wATCH THE REST OF THE VIDEO!!

Commander: Fine, fine.

I'mGod: Oh god, what is that green drink??

MovesLikeJaeger: Ron was right (for once), it looks like it was made out of a TROLL.

Captin: That is truely disgusting. I really hope that's actually some kind of tea.

Nightwing: I think it is, or they wouldn't be alive right now.

SwagKing: The Ron guy even (kind of) gagged!!

Stupider: I wouldn't drink that to save my life!

MovesLikeJaeger: ^

Nightwing: And they're making a toast why??

MovesLikeJaeger: Because it was their team's first win.

I'mLoud: Did he say it was their first win since 1942??

NerdyNerd: Yep.

SwagKing: Aaaaaaaaand he's throwing up.

MovesLikeJaeger: I would too, to be honest...

Nightwing: It smells bad apparently.

TitanLover: I wonder what it's made out of....

MovesLikeJaeger: Harry's lost his mind too.

Stupider: I know I don't have much of a mind, but I'm not that stupid
Stupider: To drink some freaking green drink.

Captin: You may be right kid.

SwagKing: Now they're talking about some letter to or from Merlin???

MovesLikeJaeger: I know we are just 4 minutes and 21 second in,
MovesLikeJaeger: But we're gonna stop here. I don't wanna answer 1,000,000
MovesLikeJaeger: Questions about the freaking Harry Potter series.
MovesLikeJaeger: Because, man, they are 7 books,
MovesLikeJaeger: Very, VERY big books that'll take HOURS
MovesLikeJaeger: To explain.

NerdyNerd: I agree. We'll be here forever, and most of us have exams tomorrow.

SwagKing: ....Crap....

MovesLikeJaeger: HOLD IT! Jean, who let you back in the chat?? And when?

SwagKing:...Um....

SwagKing has logged out of the group chat

Chapter Text

NerdyNerd: Have you all read The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton yet?

MovesLikeJaeger: DoN'T GeT Me StArTeD On ThAt FeEl TrAiN!

I'mQuiet: I think Reiner and I had to read it for a book report in Middle School.

I'mLoud: We did, and it was the saddest but best book that involved gangs.

MovesLikeJaeger: "Stay gold Ponyboy." WHY!?

Stupider: I've never heard of it! What's it about?

I'mGod: Here's the description:
I'mGod: The Outsiders is narrated by the main character, Ponyboy Curtis. The story is placed in Oklahoma during the 1960s.

I'mGod: In the first chapter, Ponyboy introduces himself and gives a brief history of his family. He also describes the relationships between his gang members, and the relationships within his own family. Ponyboy's parents were killed in an automobile accident, leaving him and his two brothers on their own.

 

I'mGod: Ponyboy is the youngest at 14, Sodapop is 16, and Darry is 20. The authorities allow the three brothers to stay together as long as they "behave." Ponyboy resents Darry and the total control that he attempts to wield over his life; he views their relationship as adversarial and looks to Sodapop for understanding and love.

I'mGod: The brothers consider their gang members — Steve Randle, Two-Bit Mathews, Dallas Winston, and Johnny Cade — to be family. All of the members come from dysfunctional homes and need the gang relationship as a substitute for what is missing in their own families.

I'mGod: As Ponyboy walks home alone after going to a movie, he realizes the inherent danger of doing so. He explains to the reader that he is a greaser, a term "used to class all us boys on the East Side," which is the poor side of town. Greasers are known for their long, greased hair. Walking home alone is dangerous because the rival gang, the Socs, could

 

I'mGod: easily attack him. The Socs, short for Socials, are "the jet set, the West-side rich kids," who are from upper-middle-class families. Ponyboy explains that the gangs are "just small bunches of friends who stick together, and the warfare is between the social classes."

I'mGod: As if foreshadowing Ponyboy's own poor decision to walk alone, a carload of four Socs arrives, and one pulls a knife on him. As he attempts to fend off his attackers, Ponyboy hears the pounding of footsteps and the attack turns into an all-out fight as his gang arrives to rescue him from the Socs' attack. Ponyboy's two brothers, Darry and

I'mGod: Sodapop, along with their four other gang members, chase the Socs away; Ponyboy escapes with cuts and bruises.

FreckledJesus: Sounds violent...

MovesLikeJaeger: It really isn't, but it's good! You all should read it!

MovesLikeJaeger: I think you can read it (for free) here:
MovesLikeJaeger: https://fullenglishbooks.com/english-books/full-book-the-outsiders-175835-read-online

Stupider: Got it! Imma read it!

I'mLoud: Who names their kids Ponyboy and Sodapop?

MovesLikeJaeger: The Curtis'! Shut up, the names fit the story!

PleaseBeKind: I see how people got Cherry out of Sherri.

Stupid: Who's all in the book?

MovesLikeJaeger: Ponyboy Michael Curtis, Soda(pop) Patrick Curtis, Darrel (Darry) Shayne Curtis, Dallas (Dally) Winston, Johnny Cade, Steve Randle,
MovesLikeJaeger: Keith (Two-Bit) Mathews, Sherri (Cherry) Valance, Marcia, Bob Sheldon, Randy Adderson, Tim Shepard, Jerry Wood, and
MovesLikeJaeger: Buck Merril.

SwagKing: Jesus. She came up with all those characters?
SwagKing: I can't even think of one that isn't already made!

MovesLikeJaeger: She had years to think of them. Creating characters is hard.

TitanLover: What's this? Talk about an amazing book? Count me in!

Captin: All 3 of us read The Outsiders in High School.

MovesLikeJaeger: Yes!!! I have someone to bother with feels!

Captin: I will admit that Johnny Cakes' death bothered me.

MovesLikeJaeger:Oh my God, he even calls Johnny by his nickname!!!

TitanLover: I know, right!? It's so cute!

Captin:......Shut it....

TitanLover: Nope! :).

NerdyNerd: I didn't expect this much attention just for asking something....

MovesLikeJaeger: Of course you got a lot of attention! The Outsiders is amazing!

Emotionless: It's 2:48 AM. Go to bed.

Emotionless has muted the chat

MovesLikeJaeger: Rude...

Chapter Text

MovesLikeJaeger: Guys! Meet me in Reiner's dorm!

NerdyNerd: Why?

MovesLikeJaeger: Because I said so! Come on, we got alcohol!

SwagKing: The good kind, or the bad kind?

I'mLoud: The really, really good kind.

Stupid: Connie and I are coming!

FreckledJesus: Jean and I will be there once Jean finds his phone.

Nightwing: Armin and I will be there.

NerdyNerd: We will!?

TitanLover: If there's alcohol, us 3 will be there!

Captin: The dorm better be at least some-what clean.

MovesLikeJaeger: It is! I made sure.

Emotionless: I'm already here.

PleaseBeKind: Ymir and I will be there!

I'mGod: Sure, why not? Alcohol is just a bonus.

MovesLikeJaeger: Everyone's coming then? Yay!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"So, why're we here Jaeger?" Jean asked as he sat down. All 15 people were sat in a circle, opened alcohol bottles around them. "Believe it or not, it's my assignment." Eren answered. "Your assignment?" Krista asked. "Yeah. My professer says in order to write or draw a moment in life, you have to experience it." Eren said, taking a swig of vodka. "Plus this can go into my novel!". "I wish we had assignments like this!" Hanji exclaimed. "We'd get drunk really quick and wouldn't even do the assignment." Levi said, crossing his legs. "Can we get started?" Eren asked,leaning onto his right hand. "Go ahead Brat.".

"Okay! First we're going to play never have I ever. You all know how to play that, correct?" Eren questioned. Everybody nodded. "Wait, what do we do when we've done it?" Jean asked. "You take a drink. Once your drink is gone, you're out. So get new drinks." Eren ordered. Everyone got up and got a new drink, wondering what people would say. Once everyone was back into the circle, Eren started the game. "Never have I ever....flipped off the police while they were watching me." Reiner and Ymir took a drink. "Okay. Never have I ever.....got a tattoo." Reiner said. "Are you kidding me?!" Eren asked, but took a drink anyway. So did Levi. "Eren, you have a tattoo?" Hanji asked. "Yeah. I have a butterfly on my left shoulder." Eren answered.

"Can you show us?" Krista asked. "Sure". Eren raised his left sleeve, and there it was. The butterfly's left wing was blue, while the right wing was white. Under the butterfly, the words "Wings of Freedom" were in black ink. "That's so pretty!" Krista exclaimed. "When'd you get that?" Ymir asked, pointing to the tattoo. Eren had only met Ymir, Krista, Reiner, Bertolt, and Annie in his last second year of middle school, so Ymir would think she'd know when he got a tattoo. "In freshman year." Eren answered. Another thing is that Eren was a grade behind everybody else. He was 18, and the others were either 19 or 20. "Really? When?" Bertolt quietly asked. "When you all were going to the sophomore fieldtrip." Eren said, pulling his sleeve down. "Oh..." Bertolt whispered. "Alright! My turn!" Ymir said, rubbing her hands together. "Never have I ever been a personal stripper!". "Ymir!" Krista scolded. Eren, Connie, and Reiner took a drink. "Guys!" Jean yelled out in disbelief.

"Stories now!" Ymir laughed. "I lost a bet." Reiner said. "It was dare, and a bet in one!" Connie exclaimed. "My partner at the time was into that crap." Eren shrugged. "You've tried everything haven't you?" Levi asked. Eren had told him some the stories, but never this one. "Yep!" Eren nodded. "Next!" Connie yelled. "oh, okay! Never have I ever...broken a bone!" Hanji said. Levi, Jean, Reiner, Connie, and Ymir took a drink. They contined the game, boring statement after boring statement.

"Alright losers! Get out my dorm, before you get too drunk to move!" Reiner said, standing up. "Aw, come on! We're not even buzzed!" Sasha agrued. "Don't care, get out!" Reiner said, waving them off. All of them (except for Reiner and Bertolt) walked out the dorm, going to theirs. "So...personal stripper, huh?" Levi teased, walking next to Eren. "Shut up!" Eren whined. "Don't worry, I think it's hot. Maybe I should make you my personal stripper." Levi said. "Maybe..." Eren smirked. "Would you two stop and just go to your separate dorms." Mikasa sighed.

 

That night Levi dreamed of a certain "stripper" and Eren dreamed of...well, you know the drill.

Chapter Text

MovesLikeJaeger: GuYs!!! HeLp!!

Captin: What for?

MovesLikeJaeger: ThErE'S A SpIdEr On ThE WaLl!

Stupider: Does anyone know how to decode that?

NerdyNerd: He said there's a spider on the wall.

Stupider: Ooooooh! Wait- that's a problem because???

Nightwing: Eren has arachnophobia.

Stupid: What is that?
Stupid: Does it have anything to do with spiders?

NerdyNerd: It's the science-y way of saying someone is afraid of spiders.

Stupider: Ooooooooooooooooooooooh!

MovesLikeJaeger: SoMeOnE HeLp! It MoVeD!

Captin: Calm down, Brat. I'll be there in a minutes.

TitanLover: Don't kill it! Maybe I can expriment on it!

PleaseBeKind: No! You should let it go back outside.

MovesLikeJaeger: MuRdEr It!!!

Captin: Would you stop typeing like that? Jesus, I'm at the door.
Captin: Just let me in and I'll get rid if it.

MovesLikeJaeger: I'm not moving! That spider could kill me any minute!

Nightwing: It will not kill you.

MovesLikeJaeger: Whatever! Levi, just use the extra key!

Captin: Fine.
Captin: HOLY SH*T!

Commander: Um...what?

I'mGod: Krista turned the profanity setting on.

PleaseBeKind: You all shouldn't cuss as much as you do!

Commander: No, I mean why is he cussing?

MovesLikeJaeger: I told you the spider was huge!
MovesLikeJaeger: Take a look:

MovesLikeJaeger: [Picture of a HUGE spider.jpg]

Stupider: OH MY GOD!!

PleaseBeKind: Nevermind, KILL IT!

TitanLover: I'M NOT EXRIMENTING ON THAT.

FreckledJesus: I DON'T WAKE UP TO STUPIDNESS, BUT I WAKE UP TO A
FreckledJesus: FREAKING HUGE SPIDER!

Emotionless: Ew.

SwagKing: HOLD ON, I'M CALLING THE R.A.!

---3 Minutes (filled w/ panicking) Later---

Emotionless: There, your spider is gone.

Stupider: I swear I almost puked...

NerdyNerd: I spider should not be that big....

MovesLikeJaeger: Levi, I'm sleeping in your dorm and you have no say in the matter!
MovesLikeJaeger: That spider could've laid it's nasty little eggs everywhere!

Commander: I'm pretty sure the exterminator said he found no egg sacks...

Captin: Fine with me as long as you bring another pair of CLEAN clothes.

MovesLikeJaeger: Fine with me!

SwagKing: Lets just hope that no other spiders decide to pay a vist.

MovesLikeJaeger: I can't believe I'm about to say this...
MovesLikeJaeger: I agree with Horseface.

Chapter Text

MovesLikeJaeger: I need somebodies help!

I'mGod: What now?

MovesLikeJaeger: I'm writing about accident #76, but I can't think of anything else
MovesLikeJaeger: To put!

NerdyNerd: What do you have so far?

MovesLikeJaeger:When I first started college I thought that maybe we would have a normal college life. I was wrong, however, because my friends and I are really wild. Being a year or two younger than them only made it worse for me. Anyway, there's this one accident that my friends and I will never forget.

MovesLikeJaeger:We call it accident #76 because we have a lot of of...accidents. It was an early Monday morning, and most of us didn't have any classes to go to. There are fifteen people in our friend group, counting me. Five of us was in the kitchen area and ten of us were in the living room area.

MovesLikeJaeger:An hour goes by undisturbed until we hear a scream from the kitchen. It wasn't a "something scared me", it was an "I'm hurt" scream. Everyone (in the living room) bolts off the couch and into the kitchen. Everyone that was in the kitchen was rushing around in a panic, talking over each other. I noticed that everyone was surrounding my friend, Connie Springer was his name. The two things Connie was known for were his buzzcut and his stupidness. In fact, his username on our group chat was "Stupider".

MovesLikeJaeger:Connie's hand was looking a dangerous red. Curiosity started bubbling up in me. I focused back on the situation when I heard the fire alarm in our dorm building go off. Then, I noticed gray-ish smoke was coming from Connie's hand. Figuring he somehow burnt his hand, I realize Connie might be overreacting.

MovesLikeJaeger:Two hours later, we find out that Connie did burn his hand. It wasn't serious, so he had overreacted. The doctor said that his mind was probably filled with the feeling of hurt. After he was sent home (to the dorms), everybody else was salty that they basically wasted one of their "free days.".

MovesLikeJaeger: How do I end that???

I'mGod: I don't do literature, so I don't know.

NerdyNerd: You could try "So that's why you don't panic in some situations.".

MovesLikeJaeger: Nah.

Stupider: Reading that made me think about the pain again...

PleaseBeKind: Maybe you should use "That's why you don't assume the worst.".

Captin: Try "If there's a message to this story, it's that you shouldn't overreact or panic about Captin:something small.".

MovesLikeJaeger: Oh! I got it! Thank you, Levi!

Captin: What'd I do?

MovesLikeJaeger: You inspired me! I'm going to use:
MovesLikeJaeger: "If there's a message to this story, I don't know it. Let's see if
MovesLikeJaeger: you can come up with your own!"

I'mGod: Is that it? Can I go take a really long nap now?

SwagKing: You could've muted the chat earlier.

I'mGod: I know, I just wanted to see what he wrote.

SwagKing: ???

MovesLikeJaeger: Whatever! All that matters is that I have a part to go into my story!

Stupid: What're you even writing about Eren?

MovesLikeJaeger: I've told you before, the things I experienced during college!

Stupid: Oh, I forgot. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Captin: Go on and write your entry, Brat. You still have your art assignment to do.

MovesLikeJaeger: Ugh, do I have to?

Captin: Yes.

MovesLikeJaeger: Ugh, fine!
------------------------------------------------
This is what Eren wrote:

When I first started college I thought that maybe we would have a normal college life. I was wrong, however, because my friends and I are really wild. Being a year or two younger than them only made it worse for me. Anyway, there's this one accident that my friends and I will never forget. We call it accident #76 because we have a lot of of...accidents. It was an early Monday morning, and most of us didn't have any classes to go to. There are fifteen people in our friend group, counting me. Five of us was in the kitchen area and ten of us were in the living room area.

An hour goes by undisturbed until we hear a scream from the kitchen. It wasn't a "something scared me", it was an "I'm hurt" scream. Everyone (in the living room) bolts off the couch and into the kitchen. Everyone that was in the kitchen was rushing around in a panic, talking over each other. I noticed that everyone was surrounding my friend, Connie Springer was his name. The two things Connie was known for were his buzzcut and his stupidness. In fact, his username on our group chat was "Stupider".

Connie's hand was looking a dangerous red. Curiosity started bubbling up in me. I focused back on the situation when I heard the fire alarm in our dorm building go off. Then, I noticed gray-ish smoke was coming from Connie's hand. Figuring he somehow burnt his hand, I realize Connie might be overreacting. Two hours later, we find out that Connie did burn his hand. It wasn't serious, so he had overreacted. The doctor said that his mind was probably filled with the feeling of hurt. After he was sent home (to the dorms), everybody else was salty that they basically wasted one of their "free days.".

If there's a message to this story, I don't know it. Let's see if you can come up with your own!

Chapter Text

MovesLikeJaeger: I found out why Harry can't fix his eyes.

Stupider: Who's Harry?

MovesLikeJaeger: Harry Potter!

Stupid: I forgot about that!
Stupid: Why can't he fix them?

MovesLikeJaeger: Because your eyes are windows to your soul.
MovesLikeJaeger: And you can't mess with your soul.

SwagKing: So basically it's just a bunch of magic crap?

NerdyNerd: Kinda.

MovesLikeJaeger: The Harry Potter series is just a bunch of magic crap.
MovesLikeJaeger: You have to remember that it has 7 big books, filled with info about their world.
MovesLikeJaeger: One human being couldn't possibly remember all of it unless they wrote it down.

I'mLoud: Who has the time to read all the books, plus write the info down.

TitanLover: I could do it!

Commander: No, you couldn't. You'd try and then fail.

TitanLover: I would not!

Captin: Yes, you would.

Captin: Brat, have you finished your art assignment?

MovesLikeJaeger: Yeah! All I have to do is turn it in!

PleaseBeKind: Can we see it?

MovesLikeJaeger: Sure!

MovesLikeJaeger: [Link here]

PleaseBeKind: That's really pretty!

I'mGod: If you don't get an A or an A+ for that, then this school is messed up.
I'mGod: That drawing is better than ALL of the papers I wrote so far.

MovesLikeJaeger: Guys! (*´ω`*).

TitanLover: That's cute! Do you have any more?

MovesLikeJaeger: I have lots more! (๑•́ ω •̀๑) (´๑•_•๑) (๑→‿←๑) (๑ּగ⌄ּగ๑) (๑•́‧̫•̀๑) (๑•́ ₃ •̀๑).
MovesLikeJaeger: And then this! (˵¯͒⌄¯͒˵).
MovesLikeJaeger: And the last one...

Captin: You better not.

MovesLikeJaeger: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

TitanLover: HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHHAHAHAHA!
TitanLover: That's the perfect emoticon! How'd you get it?

MovesLikeJaeger: I literally just Googled 'Pervert emoticon'.

TitanLover: Really? HAHAHAHAHAHA!

TitanLover: I found it! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

Commander: Stop. Stop right now.

TitanLover: I have a science project to do anyway. Buh-bye!

MovesLikeJaeger: Bye!

Stupid: So... that's it?

MovesLikeJaeger: Yep!

I'mLoud: Cool. Imma go to practice.

MovesLikeJaeger: Okay!

SwagKing: That's the most awkward ending ever.

MovesLikeJaeger: .....yep....

SwagKing: Okay, whatever.

Chapter Text

Stupider: What’s 854 x 73?

NerdyNerd: Why???

Stupider: I’m too lazy to do math.

MovesLikeJaeger: 62,342.

Stupider: Thanks!

Stupid: Can you help me too?

MovesLikeJaeger: Sure!

Stupid: I need help w/ these problems
Stupid: 444,554 + 15,236
Stupid: 52,155,526 x 8,856,945
Stupid: 51,453,957 - 853

MovesLikeJaeger: 1.459,790
MovesLikeJaeger: 2.44,694,417,228,070
MovesLikeJaeger: 3.51,452,251

SwagKing: Never thought I’d see the day Jaeger does math.

NerdyNerd: He’s really smart, but he’s too lazy.

MovesLikeJaeger: I’m not smart at all, I just used a calculator XD.

Stupider: Why didn’t I think about that?!

MovesLikeJaeger: There’s a reason your username is Stupider.

MovesLikeJaeger: You’re not exactly the brightest bulb in the box.
MovesLikeJaeger: Or the sharpest knife in the drawer.
MovesLikeJaeger: You’re a few cards short of a deck.
MovesLikeJaeger: Or the brightest crayon in the box…
MovesLikeJaeger: To put it simply, you’re as smart as a stick
MovesLikeJaeger: Or a bag of rocks.

MovesLikeJaeger: Actually, I think you’re the kind of person to eat soup
MovesLikeJaeger: with a fork. Also, you remember that time you
MovesLikeJaeger: argued with a signpost?
MovesLikeJaeger: Really, I think you’re as fruity as a bag of Skittles™.

MovesLikeJaeger: Like, you know how some people drink from the fountain
MovesLikeJaeger: of knowledge? You only gargled.
MovesLikeJaeger: I mean, really, you probably couldn’t find your way out of
MovesLikeJaeger: a paper bag.

MovesLikeJaeger: It’s like one of those situations where you bye a nice
MovesLikeJaeger: cage (probably gold), but you have no bird.
MovesLikeJaeger: Actually, your brain is like a brother that has no siblings.

MovesLikeJaeger: But that’s okay because you’re my friend. :)

SwagKing: Connie, I think he roasted you…

Stupider: Well….at least it’s okay that I’m stupid.

I’mGod: Are you serious!?

Stupider: Yes? No? Maybe? I don’t know…..

NerdyNerd: This is my que to leave and mute the chat….

NerdyNerd has muted the chat

MovesLikeJaeger: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

SwagKing: Eren, dude, what was that?

MovesLikeJaeger: I wanted to be a little b*tchy, so what?

SwagKing: ……

SwagKing has logged out of the group chat

Chapter Text

MovesLikeJaeger: Guys!!! Guess what I just found!!!!

Captin: Do we want to know?

MovesLikeJaeger: Yes!!!

NerdyNerd: What is it Eren?

MovesLikeJaeger: My memory box!!!

Commander: Memory box?

MovesLikeJaeger: A memory box is where you put old photos, drawings,
MovesLikeJaeger: anything that can remind you of sometime in your life!

SwagKing: So what’s in your memory box?

MovesLikeJaeger: It’s mostly old photos.
MovesLikeJaeger: ARMIN!!!

NerdyNerd: What is it? I’m trying to do my history paper.

MovesLikeJaeger: Do remember that time we went to the beach when we
MovesLikeJaeger: were little?

NerdyNerd: You were, like, 8.
NerdyNerd: Yes, I do remember it.

MovesLikeJaeger: Remember when I found that cute little shell?

NerdyNerd: Yes…..

MovesLikeJaeger: Well, I just found the picture of us holding shells!

MovesLikeJaeger:[Eren holding a pink shell and Armin holding a blue one.jpg]

NerdyNerd: That blue shell was so pretty!

MovesLikeJaeger: Here’s the thing, I still have the shells!

NerdyNerd: Really!?

MovesLikeJaeger: Yeah, they’re in a plastic bag.

NerdyNerd: I’m coming home right now!!! I want to see how they aged!

MovesLikeJaeger: They don’t really look different.

NerdyNerd: Doesn’t matter!

Nightwing: What else did you find?

MovesLikeJaeger: Pictures we took when we met the others in middle/high
MovesLikeJaeger: school. Ah, the memories!

MovesLikeJaeger: OH MY GOD!!! I FOUND MY OLD NIAL POLISH!!!

Stupid: Old nail polish? Ewwwwwwwwww. It’s probably all watery now.

MovesLikeJaeger: So what? I wasn’t going to use it.

NerdyNerd: Do you mean the galaxy one and the ugly shade of green?

MovesLikeJaeger: Yeah! I really want to bye a new galaxy one.

NerdyNerd: You’re not going to get a new ugly shade of green, are you?

MovesLikeJaeger:Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

MovesLikeJaeger: No, I’m going to skip the shade of greens.

I’mGod: What’s up, nerds?
I’mGod: Y’all talking about nail polish?
I’mGod: Goodbye.

MovesLikeJaeger: WAIT!!!!

I’mGod: Yes?

MovesLikeJaeger: Do you remember when you died the teacher’s hair in
MovesLikeJaeger: high school?

I’mGod: Ah, the good old days! Now I can’t even search up answers to
I’mGod: test without getting expelled. I did not lose all that money just to
I’mGod: kicked out!

MovesLikeJaeger: Well, I just found a picture with the teacher’s hair!
MovesLikeJaeger: You just had to die it yellow, didn’t you?

I’mGod: Yes.

MovesLikeJaeger: Alright! If anyone wants to look at these memories,
MovesLikeJaeger: feel free to come to my dorm right now!
MovesLikeJaeger: Bye!

Chapter Text

Stupid: I need your help with my history paper!!!

SwagKing: Who?

Stupid: Anyone!!!

I’mGod: What’s it about?

Stupid: The Boston Massacre..

I’mGod: Welp, I can’t help you. Hit me up when you need something about
I’mGod: The Boston Tea Party, The Stamp Act, The Cold War, World War I
I’mGod: and II, American Civil War, the Vietnam War, War of 1812,

I’mGod: the American Revolution War, Russian Civil War, the French
I’mGod: Revolution, the Second Boer War, Hundred Years’ War, Thirty
I’mGod: Years’ War, Russian Revolution, Crusades, War of the Spanish

I’mGod: Succession, Chinese Civil War, French and Indian War, Punic
I’mGod: Wars, Second Punic War, Home Front, Attack On Pearl Harbor,

I’mGod: Anglo-Zanzibar War, Israeli-Palestinian conflict, Greek Civil War,
I’mGod: and King Philip’s War.

I’mLoud: Good God, I think you did everything except The Boston
I’mLoud: Massacre…

Stupider: What’s the definition of ‘Massacre’?

NerdyNerd: mas·sa·cre
ˈmasəkər Noun 1. an indiscriminate and brutal slaughter of people."The attack was described as a cold-blooded massacre."

NerdyNerd: Or you could just Google it and it will come up.

Stupider: Thanks!

Stupid: Hello?? Guys, my history paper!

MovesLikeJaeger: I can help! I’ve literally done a history paper about
MovesLikeJaeger: everything Ymir listed, and more.

MovesLikeJaeger: I still remember the hand cramps…

Stupid: You can?! Tell me what to write!

PleaseBeKind: Isn’t that cheating?

Stupid: Yes, but the teachers won’t see the group chat!!

MovesLikeJaeger: Hold on Sasha, let me copy and paste it all…

MovesLikeJaeger: *The Boston Massacre occurred on March 5, 1770 when British soldiers in Boston opened fire on a group of American colonists killing five men.

MovesLikeJaeger: Before the Boston Massacre, the British had instituted a number of new taxes on the American colonies including taxes on tea, glass, paper, paint, and lead. These taxes were part of a group of laws called the Townshend Acts.

MovesLikeJaeger: The colonies felt these laws were a violation of their rights.Just like when Britain imposed the Stamp Act, the colonists began to protest and the British brought in soldiers to keep everything in order.

MovesLikeJaeger: The Boston Massacre began with a small argument between British Private Hugh White and a few colonists outside the Custom House in Boston on King Street. The argument began to escalate as more colonists gathered and began to harass and throw sticks and snowballs at Private White.

MovesLikeJaeger: Soon there were over 50 colonists at the scene. The local British officer of the watch, Captain Thomas Preston, sent a number of soldiers over to the Custom House to keep order. However, the sight of British soldiers armed with bayonets just aggravated the crowd even more. They began to dare the soldiers to fire.

MovesLikeJaeger: Captain Preston then arrived and tried to get the crowd to disperse. Unfortunately, an object thrown from the crowd struck one of the soldiers, Private Montgomery, and knocked him down, causing him to fire into the crowd. After a few seconds of stunned silence, a number of other soldiers fired into the crowd as well. Three colonists died immediately and two more died later from wounds.

MovesLikeJaeger: The crowd was eventually dispersed by the acting governor of Boston, Thomas Hutchinson. Thirteen people were arrested, including eight British soldiers, one officer, and four civilians. They were charged with murder and put in jail awaiting their trial. British troops were removed from the city as well.

MovesLikeJaeger: The trial of the eight soldiers began on November 27, 1770. The government wanted the soldiers to have a fair trial, but they were having troubles getting a lawyer to represent them. Finally, John Adams agreed to be their lawyer. Although he was a patriot, Adams thought that the soldiers deserved a fair trial.

MovesLikeJaeger: Adams argued that the soldiers had the right to defend themselves. He stated that they thought their lives were in danger from the crowd that had gathered. Six of the soldiers were found not-guilty and two were found guilty of manslaughter.

MovesLikeJaeger: The Boston Massacre became a rallying cry for patriotism in the colonies. Groups like the Sons of Liberty used it to show the evils of British rule. Although the American Revolution would not start for another five years, the event certainly had people to look at British rule in a different light.

MovesLikeJaeger: And the site you can link is

MovesLikeJaeger:https://www.ducksters.com/history/american_revolution/boston_massacre.php

Stupid: (・о・). Thanks!!!!!

MovesLikeJaeger: You’re welcome! (*^▽^)/

MovesLikeJaeger: I could also give you some facts.

Stupid: o(*^▽^*)o Show me, show me, SHOW ME!!!

MovesLikeJaeger: (;゜○゜) Okay…

MovesLikeJaeger:The British call the Boston Massacre the "Incident on King Street".

MovesLikeJaeger: After the incident, both sides tried to use propaganda in the newspapers to make the other side look bad. One famous engraving by Paul Revere shows Captain Preston ordering his men to fire (which he never did) and labels the Custom House as "Butcher's Hall".

MovesLikeJaeger:There is some evidence that the colonists planned the attack on MovesLikeJaeger: the soldiers.

MovesLikeJaeger:One of the men killed was Crispus Attucks, a runaway slave who had become a sailor. The other victims included Samuel Gray, James Caldwell, Samuel Maverick, and Patrick Carr.

MovesLikeJaeger: There was little evidence against the four civilians arrested and they were all found not-guilty in their trial.

SwagKing: So Crispus Attucks left being a slave just to get killed?

MovesLikeJaeger: Yeah…

SwagKing: Dude….

Stupider: Did he even get to be free?

MovesLikeJaeger: Who knows…
Stupid: Thanks for your help Eren!! I hope I at least get a B…

MovesLikeJaeger: You will!

Stupid: :D

MovesLikeJaeger: :D.

NerdyNerd: Go write your paper, Sasha.Tell us your grade when you get it back!

Stupid: Will do!
----------------------------------------------------
*This is what Sasha's (originally Eren's) history paper said.

Blouse, Sasha. June 29, 2018.

The Boston Massacre occurred on March 5, 1770 when British soldiers in Boston opened fire on a group of American colonists killing five men.Before the Boston Massacre, the British had instituted a number of new taxes on the American colonies including taxes on tea, glass, paper, paint, and lead. These taxes were part of a group of laws called the Townshend Acts. The colonies felt these laws were a violation of their rights.Just like when Britain imposed the Stamp Act, the colonists began to protest and the British brought in soldiers to keep everything in order. The Boston Massacre began with a small argument between British Private Hugh White and a few colonists outside the Custom House in Boston on King Street. The argument began to escalate as more colonists gathered and began to harass and throw sticks and snowballs at Private White.

Soon there were over 50 colonists at the scene. The local British officer of the watch, Captain Thomas Preston, sent a number of soldiers over to the Custom House to keep order. However, the sight of British soldiers armed with bayonets just aggravated the crowd even more. They began to dare the soldiers to fire. Captain Preston then arrived and tried to get the crowd to disperse. Unfortunately, an object thrown from the crowd struck one of the soldiers, Private Montgomery, and knocked him down, causing him to fire into the crowd. After a few seconds of stunned silence, a number of other soldiers fired into the crowd as well. Three colonists died immediately and two more died later from wounds.

The crowd was eventually dispersed by the acting governor of Boston, Thomas Hutchinson. Thirteen people were arrested, including eight British soldiers, one officer, and four civilians. They were charged with murder and put in jail awaiting their trial. British troops were removed from the city as well.The trial of the eight soldiers began on November 27, 1770. The government wanted the soldiers to have a fair trial, but they were having troubles getting a lawyer to represent them. Finally, John Adams agreed to be their lawyer. Although he was a patriot, Adams thought that the soldiers deserved a fair trial. Adams argued that the soldiers had the right to defend themselves. He stated that they thought their lives were in danger from the crowd that had gathered. Six of the soldiers were found not-guilty and two were found guilty of manslaughter.

The Boston Massacre became a rallying cry for patriotism in the colonies. Groups like the Sons of Liberty used it to show the evils of British rule. Although the American Revolution would not start for another five years, the event certainly had people to look at British rule in a different light.

The site I used to help me write this paper is: https://www.ducksters.com/history/american_revolution/boston_massacre.php

Some facts about the Boston Massacre are: The British call the Boston Massacre the "Incident on King Street", After the incident, both sides tried to use propaganda in the newspapers to make the other side look bad. One famous engraving by Paul Revere shows Captain Preston ordering his men to fire (which he never did) and labels the Custom House as "Butcher's Hall", there is some evidence that the colonists planned the attack on the soldiers, one of the men killed was Crispus Attucks, a runaway slave who had become a sailor. The other victims included Samuel Gray, James Caldwell, Samuel Maverick, and Patrick Carr, and there was little evidence against the four civilians arrested and they were all found not-guilty in their trial.

Chapter Text

TitanLover: Have you all ever heard of the Erlkönig?

Stupider: Erlkonig?

TitanLover: No!!! The ErlkÖnig!!!

SwagKing: What’s Erlkönig?

MovesLikeJaeger: I know what it is!! It’s German for “Elf King”!
MovesLikeJaeger: I also know the story!

TitanLover: YES!! Eren, aren’t you German?

MovesLikeJaeger: Part, but a can speak German!

Stupid: OoOoh! Tell us something!

MovesLikeJaeger: Das ist deutsch. Der Name Eren Jaeger ist eigentlich MovesLikeJaeger: auch Deutsch!

FreckledJesus: What does that mean?

MovesLikeJaeger: This is German. The name Eren Jaeger is actually
MovesLikeJaeger: German too!

SwagKing: So “Deutsch” means German?

MovesLikeJaeger: Uh-huh!

TitanLover: Eren!! The story about the Erlkönig!!!

MovesLikeJaeger: Right!

MovesLikeJaeger: Basically the Erlkönig is an elf spirit along with his
MovesLikeJaeger: daughters. He collects souls, either by force or the
MovesLikeJaeger: person giving him their soul.

MovesLikeJaeger: In the story created by Franz Schubert, an anxious
MovesLikeJaeger: young boy is being carried at night by his father on
MovesLikeJaeger: horseback. To where is not spelled out; German Hof has
MovesLikeJaeger: a rather broad meaning of "yard", "courtyard", "farm", or

MovesLikeJaeger: (royal) "court". The lack of specificity of the father's
MovesLikeJaeger: social position, beyond owning a horse, allows the
MovesLikeJaeger: reader to imagine the details. The opening line tells that
MovesLikeJaeger: the time is unusually late and the weather unusually

MovesLikeJaeger: inclement for travel. As it becomes apparent that the boy
MovesLikeJaeger: is delirious, a possibility is that the father is rushing him
MovesLikeJaeger: to medical aid.

MovesLikeJaeger: As the poem unfolds, the son seems to see and hear
MovesLikeJaeger: beings his father does not; the reader cannot know if the
MovesLikeJaeger: father is indeed aware of their presence, but he chooses
MovesLikeJaeger: to comfort his son, asserting reassuringly naturalistic

MovesLikeJaeger: explanations for what the child sees – a wisp of fog,
MovesLikeJaeger: rustling leaves, shimmering willows. Finally, the child
MovesLikeJaeger: shrieks that he has been attacked. The father rides
MovesLikeJaeger: faster to the Hof. There, he recognizes that the boy is dead.

MovesLikeJaeger: Or you could watch this:
MovesLikeJaeger: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JS91p-vmSf0

I’mGod: Ew. Just Ew.

PleaseBeKind: What does it say?

TitanLover: I know, I know! I found the translations!

TitanLover: Who rides, so late, through night and wind? It is the father with
TitanLover: his child. He has the boy well in his arm. He holds him safely,
TitanLover: he keeps him warm.

TitanLover: "My son, why do you hide your face in fear?" "Father, do you
TitanLover: not see the Elf-king?The Elf-king with crown and cape?"
TitanLover: "My son, it's a streak of fog."

TitanLover: "You dear child, come, go with me! (Very) beautiful games I
TitanLover: play with you; Many colorful flowers are on the beach,
TitanLover: My mother has many a golden robe."

TitanLover: "My father, my father, and do you not hear What the Elf-king
TitanLover: quietly promises me?"
TitanLover: "Be calm, stay calm, my child; Through dry leaves the wind is
TitanLover: sighing."

TitanLover: "Do you, fine boy, want to go with me? My daughters shall wait
TitanLover: on you finely; My daughters lead the nightly dance,
TitanLover: And rock and dance and sing to bring you in."

TitanLover: "My father, my father, and don't you see there The Elf-king's
TitanLover: daughters in the gloomy place?"
TitanLover: "My son, my son, I see it clearly: There shimmer the old willows
TitanLover: so grey."

TitanLover: "I love you, your beautiful form entices me;
TitanLover: And if you're not willing, then I will use force."
TitanLover: "My father, my father, he's touching me now!

TitanLover: The Elf-king has done me harm!" It horrifies the father; he
TitanLover: swiftly rides on, He holds the moaning child in his arms,
TitanLover: Reaches the farm with great difficulty; In his arms, the child was
TitanLover: dead.

SwagKing: "I love you, your beautiful form entices me; And if you're not
SwagKing: willing, then I will use force." "My father, my father, he's touching
SwagKing: me now! The Elf-king has done me harm!"

SwagKing: That makes the “Elf King” sound like a pedophile…

PleaseBeKind: No!!!

MovesLikeJaeger: The Erlkönig is not a pedophile! He just wants the boy’s
MovesLikeJaeger: soul!

Stupider: What does he do with them?

MovesLikeJaeger: Eat them? I don’t know!

I’mGod: Again, ew.

Chapter Text

MovesLikeJaeger: Listen to this.
MovesLikeJaeger: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZHXSN6lEEw

SwagKing: ???

TitanLover: Vocaloid!!!!

SwagKing: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh.

Captin: Ugh.

I’mGod: Ew. Anime thing.

PleaseBeKind: I think it’s cute! The message though..

MovesLikeJaeger: Is dark? Yes, I know. That’s what makes it good.

Stupid: Is the original in Japanese?

MovesLikeJaeger: Yes, yes it is.

Stupid: Imma go look that one up!

SwagKing: So what’s the point of listening to this?

MovesLikeJaeger: I get $30 from Reiner :).

SwagKing: $30!?

I’mLoud: Yeah..I didn’t think he would and could get you all to listen to it…

TitanLover: VOCALOID!!!

Commander: We get it Hanji, stop yelling.

TitanLover: But Vocaloid!!

Captin: Shut it four eyes.

TitanLover: Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!

MovesLikeJaeger: This proves a group chat can make up money. Pay up!

I’mLoud: Uggggggggggggggggh!

MovesLikeJaeger: :)

Chapter Text

**ATTENTION**: If you are under the age 13, read Starfighter and get in trouble, DO NOT PUT THE BLAME ON ME. You read it at your own free will.

There are also major spoilers.
----------------------------------------------
MovesLikeJaeger: Have you all ever heard of Starfighter?

SwagKing: Should we?

MovesLikeJaeger: Yes!!! The story line and the art style is really cool!

I’mGod: What exactly is it?

MovesLikeJaeger: A comic! It has lots of gay characters too!

I’mGod: Is there any lesbians?

MovesLikeJaeger: Not that I know of. From what I could tell, there are no
MovesLikeJaeger: female characters.

I’mGod: Oh. Sounds boring.

MovesLikeJaeger: It really isn’t!!! You should definitely read it!

Stupid: Link?

MovesLikeJaeger: [Super long comic link here]

MovesLikeJaeger: It seems like HemletMachine stopped creating it :(.

I’mGod: Pfft! Chapter 1, page 3!

I’mGod: “You’re my b*tch now.”

Stupider: Cain gave Abel a scar!!!!

I’mLoud: Chapter 2, page 5. Abel’s begging for it.

I’mQuiet: Is this appropriate?

MovesLikeJaeger: I mean… most of you all are 20 and I’m 18.

MovesLikeJaeger: We are old enough to have sex….so yeah.

Captin: I’m surprised Hoover bothers to ask anymore.

SwagKing: Chapter 1, page 19. IS THIS DUDE REALLY JERKING OFF
SwagKing: AFTER THEY ALMOST DIED???

FreckledJesus: Um….

I’mLoud: Someone loves the booty on page 26 of chapter 1!

NerdyNerd: I would think Hanji would be freaking out..

MovesLikeJaeger: Where is Hanji?

TitanLover: MORE SHIPS TO SAIL!!!!!

MovesLikeJaeger: Speak of the Devil and she’ll appear.

TitanLover: THIS IS THE PERFECT MIXTURE OF CUTE AND HOT!!!!

TitanLover: WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS EREN??!!

MovesLikeJaeger: Literally Tumblr. Not even joking.

I’mGod: Of course Eren finds a sex comic on a hipster site.

TitanLover: REINER!!

I’mLoud: I’m somehow deaf now, but yes?

TitanLover: Tell me, does sex actually happen?

I’mLoud: Definitely.

TitanLover: YAS! Thank you Eren!

Captin: Great, look what you’ve done. Eren, you better not be like this too.

MovesLikeJaeger: Too late. I’ve started fanart already.

Captin: Just great!

I’mLoud: I found proof of my statement!

I’mGod: What statement?

I’mLoud: That Cain loves the Abel a**.

I’mGod: Your statement was completely different.

I’mLoud: Whatever.

I’mGod: Continue?

I’mLoud: Oh, okay! On Chapter 1, page 31, after Cain finds out that Abel
I’mLoud: has never had sex with a guy, he says

I’mLoud: “Haha! You’ve got to be kidding me! With a sweet a** like yours?”

TitanLover: Thank you for the sex pages!

I’mLoud: You’re welcome?

Commander: I come back to see this.

Commander: Eren finds a sex comic, Hanji fangirl’s, and Reiner is talking
Commander: about a fictional character like another fictional character’s
Commander: a**.

MovesLikeJaeger: Krista still has the profanity setting on?

PleaseBeKind: Yes!!

MovesLikeJaeger: It gets annoying when I have to think of all the cuss
MovesLikeJaeger: words a person could know while looking at an asterisk
MovesLikeJaeger: in the middle of a word.

PleaseBeKind: I don’t care!

Stupider: What’s an asterisk?

MovesLikeJaeger: It’s this thing: *. It’s usually above the 8 on a keyboard.

Stupider: Ooooooooooh!

TitanLover: SHHHHHH! I’m trying to read my new sex comic!

MovesLikeJaeger: Whatever Hanji.

Chapter Text

Stupider: GuUuUuUuUuYs! I’m BoReD!

I’mGod: Have you played every game that you can think of?

MovesLikeJaeger: Jesus, I can imagine my grandmother saying it now.
MovesLikeJaeger: “Back in my day there was no such thing as being
MovesLikeJaeger: bored!”.

Stupider: Yesssssssss! I can’t think of anything else!

MovesLikeJaeger: Welp, good luck with the H*ll hole you just created.

I’mLoud: Have you tried going outside?

MovesLikeJaeger: I swear one day I will take the profanity setting off!

Stupider: Yes, I’ve tried going outside! Nothing’s out there except dumb
Stupider: college kids and dead grass!

Stupid: Hey, I know what we all could do!

I’mGod: And it is..?

Stupid: We could answer questions!

MovesLikeJaeger: Why is it always Sasha that comes up with the question
MovesLikeJaeger: relation things?

Stupider: Oooooh! Let’s do that!

Stupid: EVERYONE has to answer okay?

Stupid: Since I feel like I can’t type as fast as Eren, Imma send the
Stupid: questions to him.

MovesLikeJaeger: You all ready?

MovesLikeJaeger: “Favorite candle scent?”

MovesLikeJaeger: Warm Apple Pie.

Captin: Sweet Apple.

Commander: Peaceful Waters.

TitanLover: Wild Honeysuckle!!!

NerdyNerd: Black Cherry!

Nightwing: Apples and Evergreen.

Stupid: Pumpkin Spice!

Stupider: Garden Rain!

SwagKing: Vanilla, actually.

PleaseBeKind: Fresh Cotton!

I’mGod: Pumpkin Pecan Cake.

Emotionless: Mulled Cider.

I’mQuiet: Sweet Lavender…

I’mLoud: Peach & Mango!

FreckledJesus: Cranberry Mandarin!

MovesLikeJaeger: How old do you think you’ll be when you get married?

MovesLikeJaeger: I’d say somewhere above 20.

I’mGod: Yeah, me too.

Stupid: That’s our answers then?

SwagKing: *Noddes*

MovesLikeJaeger: What would you name your daughter if you had one?

MovesLikeJaeger: HARUHI!!!

Captin: Isabel.

Commander: Emily.

TitanLover: DeDe!

NerdyNerd: Alexandria.

Nightwing: Ann.

Stupid: Holly!

Stupider: Megan!

SwagKing: Maddison.

PleaseBeKind: Anna is a cute name!

I’mGod: Lavey.

Emotionless: Eva.

I’mQuiet: Abigail!

I’mLoud: Amelie!

FreckledJesus: Olivia!

MovesLikeJaeger: Have you read the Harry Potter, Hunger Games,
MovesLikeJaeger: or…(ew) Twilight series.

MovesLikeJaeger: I’ve only read the Harry Potter.

Captin: I read the Hunger Games.

TitanLover: Hunger Games and…..ugh Twilight.

Commander: Twilight and Hunger Games.

NerdyNerd: I read all 3!

Nightwing: Hunger Games.

Stupid: Connie and I have read the Hunger Games!

SwagKing: Just the Hunger Games.

PleaseBeKind: All 3...Twilight was the worst.

I’mGod: Just the Hunger Games and one of the Harry Potter books.

Emotionless: None.

I’mLoud: Me and Bertolt haven’t read any of them.

FreckledJesus: Hunger Games and some of the Harry Potter.

MovesLikeJaeger: Are you a part in the LGBT+ community?

MovesLikeJaeger: Sasha and Connie don’t get to answer. I am though.

Captin: Me too.

I’mGod: Krista and I are.

I’mQuiet: Reiner and I are as well….

SwagKing: Marco and I are!!!

Commander: I am.

TitanLover: I am!!!!

MovesLIkeJaeger: And finally, What are your majors?

MovesLikeJaeger: Art and Literature.

Captin: Erwin and I have business majors.

TitanLover: I have a science major!

NerdyNerd: Math :).

Nightwing: Medication.

Stupid: Connie and I have a Communications major!

Stupider: Hahaha….I’m failing :’).

PleaseBeKind: History major!

I’mGod: Conflict Theory.

Emotionless: Political Science.

I’mQuiet: Public health…

I’mLoud: Human resources.

FreckledJesus: Biology.

MovesLikeJaeger: Oh, wait, there’s one more.

MovesLikeJaeger: What’s so interesting about History, Historia?

PleaseBeKind: Everything!!! You can learn a lot of new things from history.

MovesLikeJaeger: The only thing I learned from history, is that white people
MovesLikeJaeger: are the main causes of a bunch of problems.

PleaseBeKind: That’s kinda true…

Stupider: Hey guys, I just noticed something.

Stupider: The word History is made of “His” and “Story”.

Stupider: So the person who made the word “History” must be really sexist,
Stupider: or they made the world have a gender.

MovesLikeJaeger: *Sex, they made the world have a sex.

Stupider: How does the world have sex?

MovesLikeJaeger: You poor, straight idiot human….

MovesLikeJaeger: A sex is what you were born with between your legs.
MovesLikeJaeger: Example: male and female.

MovesLikeJaeger: A gender is what you choose to be.

MovesLikeJaeger: Example: You can have a vajayjay between your legs
MovesLikeJaeger: but still be a male. It’s the same way vice versa.

MovesLikeJaeger: Basically, if your gender and sex are different, you’re
MovesLikeJaeger: PROBABLY Transgender.

MovesLikeJaeger: The LGBT+ community is a great example! It has
MovesLikeJaeger: Transgender people!

Stupider: Oooooooooooooooooooooh!

Stupider: One more question though.

MovesLikeJaeger: What is it?

Stupider: What’s a vajayjay?

MovesLikeJaeger: …….

I’mGod: Dear God.

SwagKing: This boy doesn’t know what a vajayjay is???

Stupider: What, what is it???????

Captin: It’s a way to censor the word “Vagina”.

Stupider: Oh…..

MovesLikeJaeger: I still can’t believe you didn’t know what a vajayjay was.

MovesLikeJaeger: Like I said before, you’re a few cards short of a deck,
MovesLikeJaeger: but COME ON!

I’mLoud: You never, not once, looked up “What is a vajayjay” when
I’mLoud: somebody said it. Nor you asked?

I’mGod: Jesus Connie, you’re 19! NINTEEN. You should know these
I’mGod: things. Especially since you’ve been around us for half of your life!

Captin: I think Springer should have known what a “vajayjay” was for two
Captin: reasons.

Captin: #1: He was around you 11 for half his life.
Captin: #2: He lives in the United States of America.

MovesLikeJaeger: Yeah, the United States is getting a little…out of hand.

I’mGod: The USA is in one of those situations.

I’mGod: “Could be better, could be worse.” kinda thing.

Emotionless: Basically, they’re calling you an idiot Connie.

Emotionless: But they think it’s not your fault.

Stupider: ………

Stupider has logged out of the group chat.

I’mGod: Rude.

I’mLoud: I blame Eren/Annie/Levi.

I’mLoud: But since Annie won’t respond and Levi will (probably) brake
I’mLoud: every bone in my body, I’m just blaming Eren.

PleaseBeKind: Eren, Annie, and Levi! That was mean!

MovesLikeJaeger: ¯\_(*3*)_/¯

Chapter Text

SwagKing: QUICK! GIVE ME A WORD THE RHYMES WITH DUCK!

MovesLikeJaeger: F*ck.

SwagKing: ONE THAT WON’T MAKE MY PROFESSOR ANGRY AND/OR

SwagKing: GET ME KICKED OUT.

FreckledJesus: Chuck…?

MovesLikeJaeger: Nuck, suck, luck, buck, pluck, puck, struck, stuck,

NerdyNerd: Why?

SwagKing: I have an assignment on ducks due today and I’m pANICKING!

MovesLikeJaeger: truck, tuck, muck, ruck, yuck, cluck, guck, and schmuck.

I’mGod: Why do you wait until the last minute?

MovesLikeJaeger: There’s also Shmebulock, but that was a Gravity Falls
MovesLikeJaeger: gnome.

SwagKing: Because assignments are boring, and Accident #22 happened.

I’mLoud: Why are there so many accidents?!?

Commander: What happened this time?

MovesLikeJaeger: My notes literally say “Sasha was known for stealing
MovesLikeJaeger: cookies.” under the details.

Commander: Say no more, I already know.

MovesLikeJaeger: Good, because I wasn’t going to tell ya.

SwagKing: Ok, ok, I’m finally done.

MovesLikeJaeger: *Okay.

SwagKing: Whatever! I’m going to turn this in.

SwagKing: OH MY GOD, I MADE IT 1 MINUTE BEFORE IT WAS DUE.

SwagKing: THAT WOULD’VE COST ME MY DEGREE.

I’mGod: An assignment about ducks would’ve cost you your degree?

NerdyNerd: Jean, isn’t your major Sociology?

SwagKing: Yes it is, but ducks involved with Sociology!

FreckledJesus: I think there’s a lesson in all of this.

I’mGod: And that is?

FreckledJesus: Don’t pull a Jean and wait until the last minute.

Chapter Text

**WARNING!**: If you don't like scabs, snails, carrots, asses, the action of pulling someone's teeth out, gagging, puke, the word "retarded", imagining messy handwriting, this story, click off or be cautious.**
----------------------------------------------------------

MovesLikeJaeger: Can you all tell me what the h*ll this says?

MovesLikeJaeger: [Link to papers that are barely legible.]

Captin: Oh, that’s Hanji’s handwriting.

TitanLover: Levi!!!!

Stupider: Where’d you find it?

MovesLikeJaeger: In my backpack…

Captin: Hanji, spill.

TitanLover: I don’t know how it got in there!

Commander: You also didn’t know who blew up the chemistry room in H.S.

Stupid: H.S.?

I’mGod: High school.

Stupid: Oooooooooh!

Captin: Spill.

TitanLover: I honestly don’t know!!!!!

Commander: Hm….seems like she’s telling the truth.

FreckledJesus: How can you tell?

Captin: We’re in the same room.

TitanLover: Hey, those look like my science notes!!!

I’mLoud: Really?? You can read that?

TitanLover: Yes!!! The potion I drew is even in the corner!

Nightwing: That’s a potion bottle?

TitanLover: Hey! Not everyone is an artist!!

SwagKing: What’s with all the exclamation marks?

TitanLover: They were made to show a strong emotion!

TitanLover: Can I have my notes back now?! I need them for the test!!

Stupid: What test?

TitanLover: My science test! It’s tomorrow!

Commander: You waited until the last minute again?!

FreckledJesus: I thought I said to NOT pull a Jean…

SwagKing: Marco!

TitanLover: Yes! Can I have my notes now??!

TitanLover: EREN!!!! EREN!!! EREN!!! COME BACK HERE!!! EREN!!!

TitanLover: EREN JAEGER! ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW!!!! EREN!!!

Captin: Brat, answer her!

MovesLikeJaeger: Hm?

TitanLover: Yay! Can I have my notes back now?

MovesLikeJaeger: Sure, come and get them.

TitamLover: Yay!

I’mLoud: Eren, what were you even doing?

MovesLikeJaeger: Smoking.

Stupider: Smoking what???

MovesLikeJaeger: [Link to a picture of a box of cigarettes.]

Stupider: Well, that’s boring.

MovesLikeJaeger: Yeah, but it’s something to smoke.

TitanLover: Eren!!! I’m here!!!

SwagKing: +Captin +Commander How can you both read her handwriting?

Commander: We’ve had years of practice.

Captin: We’re the reasons Hanji hasn’t gotten kicked out yet.

Stupider: Why would Hanji get kicked out?

Captin: Well, #1: She’s Hanji.

Commander: #2: She insults every professor she doesn’t like.

Captin: We once found “Miss. Felp can go shove it up her a**.” on her
Captin: history paper.

I’mLoud: What was she talking about?

Commander: I’m pretty sure she was talking about swords…

Stupid: 0.0

Stupider: Oh, that would leave a bruise…

I’mGod: You don’t say?

TitanLover: Oh, I forgot about that!

TitanLover: I wonder if a human would survive something like that.

FreckledJesus: Excuse me?!?

I’mGod: Ew.

Captin: Hanji, no.

TitanLover: Oh, come on Levi! You never let me do any fun experiments
TitanLover: since we graduated high school!

MovesLikeJaeger: I can see why… ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

Captin: Remember that time you put a slug into someone’s scab?

I’mGod: Ew.

Commander: Or that time you tried to pull out a student’s teeth?

I’mGod: Ew.

Captin: Or that time you picked at someone’s scab and ate it?

I’mGod: EW.

Commander: I also remember you sealing a carrot from the cafeteria,
Commander: sticking it up a student’s a** while they were SLEEPING,
Commander: putting it back in the cafeteria, and then someone ate it.

I’mGod: EW!

Captin: Oh! Remember that time a dog puked and you put the puke into the
Captin: cafeteria’s soup?

I’mGod: *GAG!*

I’mGod: Stop it!!!

I’mGod: I’m freaking done with this retarded group chat for today.

I’mGod has logged out of the group chat
-------------------------------------------------------
In case you don't know what a scab, gagging, puke, or a snail is:

Scab: a dry, rough protective crust that forms over a cut or wound during healing.

Picture: https://www.google.com/search?biw=1366&bih=662&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=QQ1CW9W6GerQjwSvnKyoCw&q=pictures+of+scabs&oq=pictures+of+scabs&gs_l=img.3..0l2j0i30k1j0i8i30k1l2j0i24k1l5.42258.46093.0.46434.18.18.0.0.0.0.196.2237.2j15.17.0....0...1c.1.64.img..1.17.2228.0..35i39k1j0i67k1.0.UY7jybOgmu0#imgrc=_ubv3h5ciIqG7M:

Gagging: choke or retch.

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIpKOYDun2s

Puke: vomit.

Video: None, because like Ymir typed, EW.

Snail: a mollusk with a single spiral shell into which the whole body can be withdrawn.

Picture:https://www.google.com/searchq=what+is+a+snail&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjj0eOy4_cAhVs6YMKHcpiBEEQ_AUICigB&biw=1366&bih=662#imgrc=tirHJmVhH48K4M:

Chapter Text

Stupider: I’ve been wondering, what did you put for Accident #22 Eren?

MovesLikeJaeger: Hm?

I’mLoud: Yeah, I want to know that too!

MovesLikeJaeger: Alright! Alright! I’ll tell you the details!

MovesLikeJaeger: Accident #22: “Sasha Will Always Be Known For
MovesLikeJaeger: Stealing Cookies.”

MovesLikeJaeger: Sasha Blouse was a food junkie. Trust me, that’s important to this story. Sasha could (and would) eat anything she wanted. It didn’t even matter if she was allergic to it, she would eat it.

Stupid: What’s a food junkie?

I’mGod: A food junkie is somebody who eats an excessive amount of food.

SwagKing: Sounds like Sasha.

MovesLikeJaeger: I believe it was a Monday night and all fifteen of us were in the living room. Even Annie Leonhardt was sitting on one of the chairs, and she never wants to be around us.

MovesLikeJaeger: We were watching The Breakfast Club when Sasha whined “Aw, man! That was the last box!”. Most of us look at her, and she’s shaking an empty cookie package. “Do guys have any money?” Sasha asked. We said no because we were already broke college students.

Stupider: Ah, I remember that day! The Breakfast Club was awesome!

MovesLikeJaeger: Only one person didn’t say or do anything. That person was Ymir. Sasha turned toward her, looking at her with puppy dog eyes. “No, I’m not giving you money.” Ymir said, squeezing Krista tighter. “But it’s cookies!” Sasha began to whine. Ymir stood her ground and said no.

MovesLikeJaeger: Sasha kept whining, but we just ignored her. After the movie, we all “went to bed”. I believe that the ones with a sex drive were having sex, and the ones without a sex drive just stayed on the internet.

PleaseBeKind: Um...isn’t that a little inappropriate?

I’mLoud: It’s the truth. Besides, it’s not like a little kid will read his novel.

I’mGod: Krista, honey, it is the truth.

PleaseBeKind: ……

MovesLikeJaeger: Morning comes and we all do our usual morning routines. We were in the middle of eating breakfast when someone knocked on the front door.

MovesLikeJaeger: No one usually knocked on our door this early in the morning, so I figured something was up. Mikasa opens the door and our R.A. was there. If you don’t know what an R.A. is, it’s a Residential Adviser.

SwagKing: Who doesn’t know what an R.A. is?

Stupider: People who aren’t in college. Now, SHHHHHHHHHH!

MovesLikeJaeger: Basically, our R.A. said that someone stole cookies from the cafeteria and to be on the lookout. I don’t know why we didn’t question Sasha the minute the R.A. left.

MovesLikeJaeger: Must’ve been morning brian. A few days pass by and no one knows who stole the cookies. People on campus started calling the thief Cookie Monster, and I found that a little funny.

I’mGod: I remember that! Ha-ah!

Stupid: :(

PleaseBeKind: Ymir! It isn’t nice to laugh at people!

MovesLikeJaeger: It seems people are starting to stop stalking the G.C(.).

MovesLikeJaeger: I forgot what class it was for, but I needed to ask Sasha if I could ask her some questions. She said yes, and we sat in her bedroom.

MovesLikeJaeger: Sasha answered the questions, candy bar in hand. She answered thirty five questions before she went to the bathroom. After I sat on the floor and looked around, I began to wonder what was in Sasha’s closet. I didn’t think anyone had seen what was in her closet, so I was wondering.

SwagKing: Now that I think of it, we’ve never seen what’s in Sasha’s closet.

MovesLikeJaeger: Before I knew what was happening, I was in front of Sasha’s closet door. I opened it and took a peek inside. Inside of Sasha’s closet, a YEAR worth of cookies were hidden. I closed the door and went to go tell Mikasa.

MovesLikeJaeger: After that, Sasha didn’t get kicked out but she got a warning. While she was talking to the Principal, the rest of us were laughing at her.

MovesLikeJaeger: Ever since I met Sasha, she stole every cookie I wasn’t eating from me. Same with everybody else. We weren’t really surprised she went this far to get cookies. One thing is for sure though. Sasha will always be known for stealing cookies.

NerdyNerd: She’s lucky she didn’t get kicked out or arrested!

I’mGod: You know Sasha, you could’ve just stole one box at a time until we
I’mGod: could get some more.

PleaseBeKind: Ymir!! Don’t encourage her!

I’mGod: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
----------------------------------------
Accident #22: "Sasha Will Always Be Known For Stealing Cookies."

Sasha Blouse was a food junkie. Trust me, that’s important to this story. Sasha could (and would) eat anything she wanted. It didn’t even matter if she was allergic to it, she would eat it.

I believe it was a Monday night and all fifteen of us were in the living room. Even Annie Leonhardt was sitting on one of the chairs, and she never wants to be around us. We were watching The Breakfast Club when Sasha whined “Aw, man! That was the last box!”. Most of us look at her, and she’s shaking an empty cookie package. “Do guys have any money?” Sasha asked. We said no because we were already broke college students. Only one person didn’t say or do anything. That person was Ymir. Sasha turned toward her, looking at her with puppy dog eyes. “No, I’m not giving you money.” Ymir said, squeezing Krista tighter. “But it’s cookies!” Sasha began to whine. Ymir stood her ground and said no. Sasha kept whining, but we just ignored her. After the movie, we all “went to bed”. I believe that the ones with a sex drive were having sex, and the ones without a sex drive just stayed on the internet.

Morning comes and we all do our usual morning routines. We were in the middle of eating breakfast when someone knocked on the front door. No one usually knocked on our door this early in the morning, so I figured something was up. Mikasa opens the door and our R.A. was there. If you don’t know what an R.A. is, it’s a Residential Adviser. Basically, our R.A. said that someone stole cookies from the cafeteria and to be on the lookout. I don’t know why we didn’t question Sasha the minute the R.A. left. Must’ve been morning brian. A few days pass by and no one knows who stole the cookies. People on campus started calling the thief Cookie Monster, and I found that a little funny.

I forgot what class it was for, but I needed to ask Sasha if I could ask her some questions. She said yes, and we sat in her bedroom. Sasha answered the questions, candy bar in hand. She answered thirty five questions before she went to the bathroom. After I sat on the floor and looked around, I began to wonder what was in Sasha’s closet. I didn’t think anyone had seen what was in her closet, so I was wondering. Before I knew what was happening, I was in front of Sasha’s closet door. I opened it and took a peek inside. Inside of Sasha’s closet, a YEAR worth of cookies were hidden. I closed the door and went to go tell Mikasa.

After that, Sasha didn’t get kicked out but she got a warning. While she was talking to the Principal, the rest of us were laughing at her. Ever since I met Sasha, she stole every cookie I wasn’t eating from me. Same with everybody else. We weren’t really surprised she went this far to get cookies. One thing is for sure though. Sasha will always be known for stealing cookies.

Chapter Text

TitanLover: Guys~

Commander: Oh no.

Captin: Yes?

TitanLover: What’s your favorite song?

Commander: Oh. Why would you need to learn that?

TitanLover: My science assignment.

Captin: Your science assignment put you up to this.

TitanLover: Yes!!

Commander: Prove it.

TitanLover: [Picture of a handout.]

TitanLover: It says I need to study humans, so I chose you all!

TitanLover: Now answer the question before I personally come to rip your
TitanLover: throat out.

Stupid: O.O

TitanLover: :)

MovesLikeJaeger: I have so many though!!!

TitanLover: I’ve got my notebook and pencil ready. Bring it on.

NerdyNerd: Do you want us to type the artist too?

TitanLover: That would be helpful, yes.

Captin: Alright. Freakshow by Skillet.

Captin: Erwin, you can’t make fun of me so don’t even try.

Commander: Ugh, fine. Like Toy Soldiers by Eminem.

Stupider: !!!
Stupider: Mine’s Never Enough by Eminem!!!

I’mGod: Okay, wow. You are not smart enough to like Eminem.

PleaseBeKind: Ymir!!

I’mGod: What? I thought Eren proved that when he roasted Connie.

TitanLover: If you’re going to type, type your favorite song!!!

I’mGod: Obsessed by Mariah Carey.

MovesLikeJaeger: That I can believe.

PleaseBeKind: My favorite song is actually Smile by Avril Lavigne…

MovesLikeJaeger: That’s a surprise. I thought yours would be from a
MovesLikeJaeger: cartoon…

NerdyNerd: Mine’s going to be a surprise too..
NerdyNerd: Me Against The World by 2pac.

MovesLikeJaeger: No, that I can believe.

Nightwing: Salute by Little Mix.

Emotionless: Warrior by Beth Crowley.

I’mLoud: I Will Not Bow by Breaking Benjamin

MovesLikeJaeger: That’s what that song was!!! I’ve been hearing it through
MovesLikeJaeger: the walls for weeks!!!

I’mQuiet: Um…All The Right Moves by Onerepublic?

SwagKing: Hold on, let me find it.

SwagKing: There it is! Remember The Name - Fort Minor

MovesLikeJaeger: Okay, no.

FreckledJesus: What’s Left Of Me - Nick Lachey

Stupid: Oh! I have three!

TitanLover: List them!

Stupid: Evil Food Eater Conchita by MEIKO
Stupid: The Food Song by Rae Patalinghug
Stupid: and All Foods Before Dudes by Allitcat!

MovesLikeJaeger: The third one is considered a song...I think.

I’mGod: Wow, Sasha managed to find three songs with the word “Food” in
I’mGod: the title.

SwagKing: Hold it, there’s a legit food song?!?

Stupid: Yeah!

SwagKing: Well, show me the link!

Stupid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lQCbaIK2PI

NerdyNerd: Hanji, what’s your favorite song?

TitanLover: Well, if you must know, my favorite song is
TitanLover: Don’t Rain On My Parade by Barbra Streisand!

TitanLover: Now, I believe that was everyone but Eren!

MovesLikeJaeger: Hold on, I’m trying to get them up!

MovesLikeJaeger: Okay, here they are!

MovesLikeJaeger: Animal I Have Become - Three Days Grace
MovesLikeJaeger: On My Own - Ashes Remain
MovesLikeJaeger: Connection - Onerepublic
MovesLikeJaeger: Rise - Skillet
MovesLikeJaeger: Not Gonna Die - Skillet

MovesLikeJaeger: The Cup Song (Depression and Anxiety Version) -
MovesLikeJaeger: Jessica Humphrey
MovesLikeJaeger: Remember The Name - Fort Minor
MovesLikeJaeger: Not Afraid To Die - Written By Wolves

MovesLikeJaeger: I Spy - KYLE and Lil’ Yachty
MovesLikeJaeger: 679 - Fetty Wap
MovesLikeJaeger: Broccoli - DRAM and Lil’ Yachty
MovesLikeJaeger: The World (English and Japanese) - Death Note
MovesLikeJaeger: Unravel (English and Japanese) - Tokyo Ghoul
MovesLikeJaeger: History Maker (Original and Remix) - Yuri!!! On Ice
MovesLikeJaeger: Candy Store - Heathers

MovesLikeJaeger: And finally, Waving Through A Window - Dear Evan
MovesLikeJaeger: Hansen.

SwagKing: Jesus, that’s a lot!

TitanLover: Thank you~

TitanLover: I’m going to go write my assignment. Buh-bye!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
8 pages on Google Docs.!!!!

Links to songs:

Freakshow: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s707qxKrBGU

Like Toy Soldiers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eg2qzPMrrfQ

Don’t Rain On My Parade: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBL8enAmPWY

Me Against The World: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPknD8Xzx-8

Salute: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ii1hFDS9lVw

Warrior: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pa8iyHzHUSQ

All The Right Moves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onXBeQ7aLyk

I Will Not Bow: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vj3tY1CPgLY

Smile: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMq22oiXNb4

Obsessed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4GRJgMXHo8

Remember The Name: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbPNVEB8O7E

What’s Left Of Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmP-nAu5j_c

Evil Food Eater Conchita: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqVca_2WkkI

The Food Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lQCbaIK2PI

All Foods Before Dudes!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LY2oC09eCZI

Animal I Have Become: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXDC89tZ4IQ

On My Own: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4l7fhxNrrrM

Connection: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFyR8VWImhQ

Rise: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sf4_zG4UPmQ

Not Gonna Die: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XGtsz03X48

The Cup Song (Depression and Anxiety Version): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZQbatQEWUE

Not Afraid To Die: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2dX7lImJYo

I Spy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4Te_uyA9lI

679: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AxSXjfU_m4

Broccoli: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sABMm3Jdack

The World: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QE9cmfxx4s&t=5s

Unravel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOrXWhmUbJ0

History Maker: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKfTXRT0OeM

Candy Store: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQOoTX1Nxx8

Waving Through A Window: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eC3kc0AIqgw

Chapter Text

NerdyNerd: Guys, do you notice something off about Levi’s username?

Stupid: Um…

I’mLoud: Nope, don’t see it.

Stupider: I’ve stared at it for a couple minutes, and I still don’t see it.

MovesLikeJaeger: It’s spelled wrong. I’m the one that set it up.

NerdyNerd: Finally!

TitanLover: Wait, what!?

SwagKing: Quick, someone Google his username!

TitanLover: I did! This is what I got!

TitanLover:[Link to Google Search]

Stupider: It’s spelled Captain?!

I’mGod: Ffs, we’are college students and we don’t know how to spell
I’mGod: captain.

Captin: Huh, guess I didn’t look at my username long enough.

PleaseBeKind: Eren said he set the username up!

I’mGod: Wait, isn’t Eren taking a Literature major?

MovesLikeJaeger: I am. I knew it was spelled wrong the whole time!
MovesLikeJaeger: To be honest, I was waiting to see how long it took you
MovesLikeJaeger: all to notice.

I’mGod: Okay, wow.

SwagKing: Still can’t believe we didn’t notice that.

MovesLikeJaeger: I’m surprised with the results, actually.
MovesLikeJaeger: I mean, you all are COLLEGE students. Most of you are
MovesLikeJaeger: ABOVE 19!

I’mLoud: Alright, alright! Stop rubbing it in our faces!

MovesLikeJaeger: Oh, and Armin?

NerdyNerd: Yes?

MovesLikeJaeger: You owe me $40.

NerdyNerd: WHAT!? Why!?

MovesLikeJaeger: Remember when we were walking to our dorm and we
MovesLikeJaeger: were talking about bets? I made a bet that I could get
MovesLikeJaeger: our friends to NOT notice something?

MovesLikeJaeger: You said that I couldn’t do it and stupidly betted $40.

NerdyNerd: ……

I’mGod: $40 is a lot of money, Armin.

Stupider: I’m stupid….but I’m not that stupid.

MovesLikeJaeger: Pay up Coconut Head!

NerdyNerd: Uggggggggggggggggh.

Captin has changed their username to Captain.

Captain: There.

MovesLikeJaeger: Aw, man. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Chapter Text

MovesLikeJaeger: My first life was so boring, just forget I mentioned it.

Stupider: First life?

MovesLikeJaeger: And my second seemed to let me do all of the things my
MovesLikeJaeger: first life didn't. Third life was a hateful man all poison to
MovesLikeJaeger: the bone,

TitanLover: Ooh, maybe reincarnation exist?!

MovesLikeJaeger: In my fourth, I played piano but just didn't have the eyes
MovesLikeJaeger: to read the notes.

SwagKing: Wait, how can blind people play actually music on a piano?

FreckledJesus: Maybe the keys have Braille?

Stupid: What’s Braille?

Captain: a form of written language for blind people, in which characters
Captain: are represented by patterns of raised dots that are felt with the
Captain: fingertips.

MovesLikeJaeger: In my fifth life, I supported girls - of course that wasn't
MovesLikeJaeger: all. My sixth life was corrupted though I guess it was
MovesLikeJaeger: little fun.

SwagKing: How many lives can you have?!

PleaseBeKind: What about the fifth life?!

MovesLikeJaeger: Seventh life I cried so much and all I did was mourn.
MovesLikeJaeger: In my eighth life, was so rich I could've bought the world and EVERYTHING.

I’mLoud: Who died?

SwagKing: Okay, dude, are you a cat?

Stupider: I wish I was that rich…

MovesLikeJaeger: In this life is a game played by a flaky god.
MovesLikeJaeger: He gambles every life. Try to escape but you know the
MovesLikeJaeger: path you're on is game and set.

NerdyNerd: Who’s the god?

MovesLikeJaeger: See how the game of life is playing all of us for fools,
MovesLikeJaeger: dancing a string around us, making all these silly rules.
MovesLikeJaeger: See how he looks down on us like we're acting out a
MovesLikeJaeger: show, throw the dice and let's see which head will roll…

I’mLoud: Comparing dice to heads, that’s totally normal.

Captain: Cut the crap, what’re you doing?

MovesLikeJaeger: :)

MovesLikeJaeger: By nine, I drew some manga but the deadlines left me
MovesLikeJaeger: dead. My tenth life was a teacher, as a pedo***** I
MovesLikeJaeger: worked part time.

PleaseBeKind: No!!!

SwagKing: Jesus Jaeger, are you crazy?!

I’mGod: No, he’s just a teen watching too much anime.

I’mGod: The song is The Game of Life from Vocaloid.
I’mGod: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbHY7vBAp4o.

MovesLikeJaeger: o(*^▽^*)o Ymir got it!!!

Captain: I’ve had enough anime crap for one night, I’m going to bed.

MovesLikeJaeger: (≧∇≦)/ Goodnight!

I’mGod: What was the point of this?

MovesLikeJaeger: To put something in my novel…

I’mGod: Let me guess, you’re running out of ideas?

MovesLikeJaeger: Maybe...(´๑•_•๑)

FreckledJesus: Have you tried writing ideas down?

MovesLikeJaeger: Yeah.._〆(。。)

I’mLoud: Well...try writing random things down. You can even draw if you
I’mLoud: want!

MovesLikeJaeger: Okay….yeah, okay! That could work!

I’mGod: Alright, I’m going to bed. See ya losers!

MovesLikeJaeger: (。・ω・)ノ゙. (ー_ーゞ). _〆(゚▽゚*).

Chapter Text

FreckledJesus: Hanji, what’s a Titan?

TitanLover: Oh! That’s actually an interesting concept!

TitanLover: Well, my dear Marco, a Titan is basically a giant human.

Stupid: Really!?

TitanLover: Yes, really! The only thing is that they have no
TitanLover: genitalia and they basically don’t have any intelligence.

MovesLikeJaeger: It would be kinda awkward if they had genitalia, so…

SwagKing: What else is there about Titans?

TitanLover: A long, long, time ago, the Gods and Goddesses believed
TitanLover: that Titans were a way of punishment.

NerdyNerd: How were they punished?...

TitanLover: Gods and Goddesses trained Titans to eat people. So if you were found guilty of murder,
TitanLover: you were sent to this arena were a Titan was held.

I’mLoud: Sounds like a terrible way to die….

MovesLikeJaeger: I wanna know what other things they would have to be found guilty of.

TitanLover: Child abuse, animal abuse, kidnapping, that kind of stuff.

MovesLikeJaeger: So basically modern stuff?

TitanLover: Yeah!

Stupid: So why do you like them?

TitanLover: Who?

Stupid: The Titans!

Captain: Because it’s Hanji.

MovesLikeJaeger: Do think there were any warrior Titans? Like, they fought in battles?

TitanLover: There were, just not many. If a war got bad enough, yeah.

I’mGod: Thanks for the lessen Professor Hanji, but I gotta go to class.

Stupider: That’s it! Professor Hanji!

SwagKing: What about it?

Stupider: That’s what we can call Hanji when she teaches us!

MovesLikeJaeger: Hanji is like a professor when she informs us of something…

Stupid: See! Professor Hanji!

FreckledJesus: I mean...Hanji could be a professor if she wanted to be.

TitanLover: :D

Captain: She’d dive her students batsh*t insane before they could learn anything.

TitanLover: :(

PleaseBeKind: At least the class wouldn’t be boring, right?

MovesLikeJaeger: She’d give everyone a headache and/or a migraine.

SwagKing: How do you get a headache and a migraine at the same time?

MovesLikeJaeger: I’ve had both. It starts off as a headache and then progresses into a migraine.

Stupid: That sounds painful…

MovesLikeJaeger: It is.

TitanLover: I’d love to stay and see what goes on, but I have a class to go to.

PleaseBeKind: Bye!!

2 Hours Later…

MovesLikeJaeger: Hey guys.

I’mGod: Why does every conversation start with “Hey guys”?

NerdyNerd: Yes Eren?

MovesLikeJaeger: Everyone has read the Titan conversation, right?

SwagKing: Pretty much, why?

MovesLikeJaeger: Would you rather die from a Titan or a God/Goddess?

FreckledJesus: Um…..

I’mLoud: Well….dying from a God/Goddess sounds worse...

SwagKing: How!? With a God or Goddess you have a chance of dying a painless death!

I’mGod: Well, yeah, but then both options, have a chance of being VERY painful.

MovesLikeJaeger: C’mon guys! Pick your poison.

Stupid: OMG! What if the Gods or Goddesses poison you?

Stupider: What if the Titan is somehow poisoned?

SwagKing: Wouldn’t the Titan just die?

MovesLikeJaeger: I think our dear Connie means if the Titans
MovesLikeJaeger: somehow poisoned the people that were eaten.

MovesLikeJaeger: Anyway, which one?

I’mGod: Gods and Goddesses.

I’mLoud: Titan.

Stupid: Connie and I will go for Gods and Goddesses!

PleaseBeKind: Um….Gods and Goddesses?

FreckledJesus: Uh..Titans.

Captain: Gods and Goddesses. I’d probably p*ss on off.

Commander: Hm...I’d say Titans.

TitanLover: TITANS!! I’d get to see inside of them!!

Captain: If you aren’t their chew toy.

MovesLikeJaeger: Alright! Thank you!

NerdyNerd: I wonder what he needed that for…

SwagKing: Probably for his novel.

Chapter Text

TitanLover: Guys! Sleepover in Erwin’s dorm!

SwagKing: Why?

TitanLover: Just be there at 7:00 PM!

Captain: Don’t question it, Kirstein.

SwagKing: Ok……
-----------------------------------------------------------

“Why did you decide to have a sleepover?” Krista asked. “Well, Krista, I was copying some notes when I realized I was getting old. So, to make me feel young again, we’re having a sleepover!” Hanji exclaimed. “Hanji, you’re 20. That’s hardly old.” Erwin said from where he was seated. “Ah, whatever. Anyway, do you remember when we played Never Have I Ever?” Hanji asked. The group nodded their heads, Connie pretending that he remembered. It was a pretty boring night, so you can’t blame him. “Good! We’re playing that again and some other games I picked up.” Hanji revealed, ordering them to sit in a circle. “Since I don’t want anyone drunk tonight, we’re drinking Pepsi.” Hanji said, handing out plastic cups filled with the drink. Most of the group liked Pepsi, so it wasn’t a big deal. Even if they wouldn’t drink it all the time, they will drink it. Sitting down onto her spot, Hanji smiled. She told Connie to go first. “Ah - um…..never have I ever…..oh! Ate chalk!” Connie exclaimed. Ymir had a disgusted look on her face as Reiner took a drink.

“Reiner!” Krista scolded. “What? It was a dare, plus it kinda tasted good.” Reiner shrugged. The group shivered with disgust and decided to move on. “Hm…..never have I ever lost a sports game!” Reiner smirked. Eren, Connie, Sasha, and Armin groaned, but took a drink anyway. Many of the others did too. The game continued, and soon it was Annie’s turn. Annie thought for a moment and then blurted “Never have I ever had sex in public.”. Marco, Armin, and Krista blushed, but didn’t take a drink. However, Eren, Levi, Ymir, Hanji, and Erwin took a drink. “Hold on. Krista didn’t take a drink, yet Ymir did?” Jean asked. “I had toys I would play with in the past.” Ymir shrugged. Krista blushed, thinking about what could have happened that day. The game resumed, boring statement after boring statement. Hanji finally had enough of it, so she decided to switch games.

“Alright, now let’s play Truth or Dare!” Hanji exclaimed, loudly. The rest of the players mentally groaned, but kept their mouths shut. “I’ll go first! Hm…” Hanji tapped her index finger on her chin. “Marco! Truth or dare?” Hanji asked. “U-um….truth?” Marco questioned. “Okay! Is it true that you’re actually the top in the relationship?” Hanji smirked. Marco and Jean blushed as the rest of the group began laughing. With his hand covering his mouth, Marco mutter a “Yes.”. That added fuel to the fire and everybody began laughing even harder. After they calmed down, Marco continued the game. After twenty minutes more of Truth or Dare, Hanji decided to continue the sleepover by watching a movie. “What’re we watching?” Connie asked. “It’s called The Crow: Salvation!” Hanji exclaimed, handing a bowl of buttery popcorn to Eren. “I’ve heard of it! People said it was awesome!” Eren said, shoving popcorn into his mouth. “Well, what are we waiting for? Let the show begin!” Hanji exclaimed, sitting down and pressing play.

When the movie was over, Hanji turned to see that everyone but her was asleep. “Oh well.” Hanji said as she curled up next to Erwin and Levi.

Best sleepover she ever had in a long, long time.

Chapter Text

MovesLikeJaeger: You will only speak/type with rhymes, you slimes!

NerdyNerd: What in the world?

SwagKing: We are not slimes! Unlike slimes, we shine!

MovesLikeJaeger: Slimes can shine, look through the timeline!

I’mGod: Timeline? What timeline? By the way Krista, you look divine!

PleaseBeKind: Ymir, please come here!

I’mGod: What is it dear, have you shed a tear?

PleaseBeKind: No! I’m not as weak as a doe!

NerdyNerd: If you are weak, then I’m not a geek!

MovesLikeJaeger: Ha! You are a geek! I was waiting for the truth to leak!

Captain: Brat, what is this?

MovesLikeJaeger: Why, were talking in rhymes Levi!

Captain: How did you come up with this, you sound like Chris.

MovesLikeJaeger: Chris?

Captain: Don’t worry about it. Now, what is this sh*t?

MovesLikeJaeger: You all say this is stupid, yet you’re play along!
MovesLikeJaeger: Why, I might just sing a song!

SwagKing: You a**! Did you break the glass?!

MovesLikeJaeger: Glass? I have not passed any glass.

SwagKing: Are you kidding me!? I can see!

MovesLikeJaeger: This was for an assignment, now I must go and think about retirement!

Chapter Text

MovesLikeJaeger: Have you all ever heard of Kayako?

SwagKing: Didn’t she appear in The Grudge?

MovesLikeJaeger: Yes, but that’s besides the point!

NerdyNerd: No. What’s it about?

MovesLikeJaeger: The real question is who it’s about.

TitanLover: I’ve heard of her!!!
TitanLover: Hurry up and tell the story!!!

MovesLikeJaeger: Kayako is a scary Japanese urban legend about a woman
MovesLikeJaeger: who was murdered by her husband and came back as vengeful ghost.

NerdyNerd: Nope, I’ not reading anymore.

I’mGod: Come on Armin! Don’t be a p*ssy!

MovesLikeJaeger: When Kayako was a young girl, her parents neglected her.
MovesLikeJaeger: She spent most of her time feeling depressed and lonely.
MovesLikeJaeger: She didn’t have any friends, and the other children at school
MovesLikeJaeger: thought she was creepy and made fun of her.

PleaseBeKind: That’s sad…… :(.

SwagKing: Why did they think she was creepy?

I’mGod: Don’t know, doesn’t matter now.

MovesLIkeJaeger: Kayako grew up and married Taeko Saeki.
MovesLikeJaeger: She felt that he was the only person in the world who cared about her.
MovesLikeJaeger: They lived a happy life and she gave birth to a little boy named Toshio.

Stupider: Wait, how does this turn into a horror story?

I’mGod: You’ll see.

MovesLikeJaeger: One day, her husband was snooping around in their bedroom and
MovesLikeJaeger: found Kayako’s diary. When he read it, he was convinced that she was
MovesLikeJaeger: cheating on him. When Kayako came home from work and went upstairs,
MovesLikeJaeger: he was waiting for her, holding a knife. He attacked her, beating and slashing
MovesLikeJaeger: her viciously right in front of their young son.

I’mLoud: That kid’s gonna have nightmares the rest of his life….

SwagKing: He killed her just because he assumed she cheated on him?

I’mGod: SHHHHHH!

MovesLikeJaeger: Kayako tried to flee, but but her husband chased her.
MovesLikeJaeger: Covered in blood, she slipped and fell, breaking her ankle.
MovesLikeJaeger: Desperate to escape, she crawled downstairs, but when she
MovesLikeJaeger: reached the front door, her husband grabbed her. He took
MovesLikeJaeger: her head in both hands and twisted it around, breaking Kayako’s neck.

Stupider: Man…

SwagKing: Why didn’t he just break her neck in the first place, saving her the pain?

I’mGod: Hold on, he’s not done yet.

NerdyNerd: THERE’S MORE!?!?

MovesLikeJaeger: Kayako was still alive, but she was paralysed.
MovesLikeJaeger: The only sound she could make was a hoarse death rattle.
MovesLikeJaeger: Her husband dragged her upstairs, put her in a black plastic bag
MovesLikeJaeger: and left her in the attic to die. Then he got their son and drowned
MovesLikeJaeger: him in the bathtub and stuffed his body in a closet.

PleaseBeKind: Why’d he kill their son!?

I’mGod: He saw too much.

MovesLikeJaeger: Because she died in such pain, anguish and rage, Kayako came
MovesLikeJaeger: back as a vengeful ghost. She appeared to her husband and
MovesLikeJaeger: strangled him with her hair. He was found laying in the street
MovesLikeJaeger: and the police thought he took his own life.

MovesLikeJaeger: Ever since then, Kayako’s ghost haunts the house in which she died.
MovesLikeJaeger: They say that if you go into that house, you will hear Kayako’s hoarse,
MovesLikeJaeger: choked death rattle. Then, you will she her crawling down the stairs,
MovesLikeJaeger: covered in blood and rolling her broken neck around with a sickening cracking sound.

Stupider: Welp, I’m not going to Japan any time soon.

NerdyNerd: “Rolling her broken neck around with a sickening cracking sound.” EW!

Captain: Brat, where do get this sh*t?

MovesLikeJaeger: I like scary stories! Japanese people are really good at creating scary stories!

NerdyNerd: I’m going to go cuddle with my stuffed animals and try not to dream about this tonight…..

-----------------------------------------------------
Full story:

Kayako is a scary Japanese urban legend about a woman who was murdered by her husband and came back as vengeful ghost.

When Kayako was a young girl, her parents neglected her. She spent most of her time feeling depressed and lonely. She didn’t have any friends, and the other children at school thought she was creepy and made fun of her.

 

Kayako grew up and married Taeko Saeki. She felt that he was the only person in the world who cared about her. They lived a happy life and she gave birth to a little boy named Toshio.

One day, her husband was snooping around in their bedroom and found Kayako’s diary. When he read it, he was convinced that she was cheating on him. When Kayako came home from work and went upstairs, he was waiting for her, holding a knife. He attacked her, beating and slashing her viciously right in front of their young son.

Kayako tried to flee, but but her husband chased her. Covered in blood, she slipped and fell, breaking her ankle. Desperate to escape, she crawled downstairs, but when she reached the front door, her husband grabbed her. He took her head in both hands and twisted it around, breaking Kayako’s neck.

Kayako was still alive, but she was paralysed. The only sound she could make was a hoarse death rattle. Her husband dragged her upstairs, put her in a black plastic bag and left her in the attic to die. Then he got their son and drowned him in the bathtub and stuffed his body in a closet.

Because she died in such pain, anguish and rage, Kayako came back as a vengeful ghost. She appeared to her husband and strangled him with her hair. He was found laying in the street and the police thought he took his own life.

Ever since then, Kayako’s ghost haunts the house in which she died. They say that if you go into that house, you will hear Kayako’s hoarse, choked death rattle. Then, you will she her crawling down the stairs, covered in blood and rolling her broken neck around with a sickening cracking sound.

Chapter Text

MovesLikeJaeger: We’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Hogwarts!

NerdyNerd: That’s not how the song goes…

I’mGod: Harry Potter jokes again.

I’mGod: Did you steal that joke or did you make it?

MovesLikeJaeger: I’m pretty sure I made it up myself.

I’mGod: Then you’re good.

NerdyNerd: On a scale of 1-10, how obsessed are you with Harry Potter?

MovesLikeJaeger: 9 and 3/4.

NerdyNerd: Dang it!

MovesLikeJaeger: Everyone’s heard of that one Armin!

MovesLikeJaeger: What’s the most unrealistic thing in Harry Potter?

I’mLoud: Everything. It has wizards and witches, don’t tell me you think those are real.

MovesLikeJaeger: A ginger with two friends.

Stupid: *Giggles*

MovesLikeJaeger: Now that I think about it, I’ve never seen a ginger person at school.

NerdyNerd: I haven’t either!

PleaseBeKind: Maybe they died their hair?

I’mGod: Hm.

Stupider: Wait, what? I don’t get these…

MovesLikeJaeger: You don’t get my jokes? Then there’s something Ron with you.

MovesLikeJaeger: What do you call a Hufflepuff with two brain cells? Pregnant.

MovesLikeJaeger: Why doesn’t Voldemort wear glasses?

Stupid: Why?

MovesLikeJaeger: Nobody nose.

NerdyNerd: Aw, that was mean!

MovesLikeJaeger: What do you call a Persian who smokes pot?

I’mLoud: Druggie?

MovesLikeJaeger: Harry Potter.

I’mLoud: Wait, what?

I’mGod: Persian is reference to Parseltongue. Harry can understand Parseltongue.

I’mGod: You can figure out the rest.

I’mLoud: Oh!

MovesLikeJaeger: How do Death Eaters freshen their breath?

Stupid: Mints.

MovesLikeJaeger: With Dementos.

I’mGod: HA!

MovesLikeJaeger: Alright, Imma go and think of more Harry Potter jokes.

I’mGod: Good. I actually want to hear more.

Stupider: O.o

Chapter Text

Stupider: Ugh, I hate studying!

 

I’mGod: So do I, but I suck it up.

 

NerdyNerd: Studying is very important, whether you like it or not! You learn new things and you learn not to repeat history!

 

I’mGod: Blah, blah, blah. We’ll hate studying whether it helps us are not.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: How do you think I feel? I have to read hundreds of poems, novels, and short stories.

 

SwagKing: How is your brain still in one piece?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I don’t know. I’m living off of Pepsi and cup noodles for now though.

 

I’mLoud: That’s where the Pepsi went!

 

SwagKing: Hey Reiner, aren’t you supposed to be studying?

 

I’mLoud: Yeah, but I don’t have to study that much. Plus, I need to be practicing for the game next week!

 

I’mGod: Ugh, I’m already tired of seeing flyers everywhere.

 

PleaseBeKind: I don’t know why you all are complaining. Studying is a lot of fun!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: That only because you get to study history, Historia .

 

PleaseBeKind: When am I going to get rid of that nickname?!

 

NerdyNerd: Never. I’m stuck with Coconut Head.

 

TitanLover: Did you all know that if you mix gummy bears and Molten Potassium Chlorate it creates fire?!

 

Commander: Hanji, did you take up chemistry?

 

TitanLover: No, why?

 

Captain: That’s a chemistry project, dumba**.

 

Stupider: Aren’t they the same though?

 

Commander: No, they are completely different.

Commander: We’ll tell you the differences later.

 

Stupider: Okay!

 

NerdyNerd: Wait, doesn’t Marco have a biology major?

 

FreckledJesus: I do, but we’ll talk about it later.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Science! true daughter of Old Time thou art! Who

MovesLikeJaeger: alterest all things with thy peering eyes. Why preyest

MovesLikeJaeger: thou thus upon the poet’s heart, Vulture, whose wings

MovesLikeJaeger: are dull realities? How should he love thee? or how

MovesLikeJaeger: deem thee wise,

  

MovesLikeJaeger: Who wouldst not leave him in his wandering To seek for

MovesLikeJaeger: treasure in the jewelled skies, Albeit he soared with an

MovesLikeJaeger: undaunted wing? Hast thou not dragged Diana from her

MovesLikeJaeger: car, And driven the Hamadryad from the wood To seek a shelter in some happier star?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Hast thou not torn the Naiad from her flood,

MovesLikeJaeger: The Elfin from the green grass, and from me

MovesLikeJaeger: The summer dream beneath the tamarind tree?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Sonnet—To Science by Edgar Allan Poe.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Found a science poem from my book!

 

TitanLover: Ah, perfect! I could use this in my project!

 

PleaseBeKind: I still feel bad for the people who were apart of and experienced the Cold War…

 

Stupider: Can someone describe the Cold War? Kind of forgot all the details after high school…

 

MovesLikeJaeger:   Cold War was the period of conflict, tension and competition between the United States and the Soviet Union and their

 

MovesLikeJaeger: respective allies from the mid-1940s until the early 1990s.

 

Stupider: Wait, how did a competition turn out into a war?

 

I’mGod: Oh my God, just go read a book about it.

 

Stupider: Okie dokie!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: …..

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Doki Doki Literature Club.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: No seriously, most of my friends are dimwits.

 

Chapter Text

MovesLikeJaeger: Hanji?

 

TitanLover: Yes?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: You have a boyfriend right?

 

TitanLover: Yes I do! What about him?

 

Stupid: Wait, I thought Hanji was into girls?

 

TitanLover: I go both ways!

 

Stupid: Oh, so you’re bisexual.

 

TitanLover: Yes, my dear Sasha, you got it!

 

TitanLover: Now, what about my boyfriend?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: He has short, brown hair right?

 

TitanLover: Uh-huh!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: If he looks like Oliver Wood, he's probably a keeper.

 

TitanLover: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHA!

 

TitanLover: Eren, you’re getting better at telling jokes!

 

FreckledJesus: I don’t get it…

 

I’mGod: In Harry Potter, there’s this sport called quidditch. Oliver Wood is

I’mGod: the keeper.

 

FreckledJesus: That helped me some….I’m going to google.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: That’s a good idea! Or you could read Harry Potter fanfiction.

 

FreckledJesus: I’ll stick with google for this matter.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Hey Hanji, can I ask you a question?

 

TitanLover: Hmmm?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Why can't Harry Potter tell apart his potions pot and his best mate?

 

TitanLover: Well, Harry probably didn’t have his glasses on.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: They were both cauldron.

 

TitanLover: Oh, you got me!!! Hahahahahah!

 

Stupider: I don’t get it..

 

I’mGod: A potions pot is a cauldron and Harry’s friend is “called Ron”.

 

Stupider: HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Knock knock.

 

I’mGod: Who’s there?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: You Know.

 

I’mGod: You Know who?

I’mGod: ….

I’mGod: Oh. Voldemort.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: :)

 

MovesLikeJaeger: ANNIE!!!!!

 

Emotionless: What.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was  

MovesLikeJaeger: ugly, but then I saw you. :)

 

SwagKing: Welp, Armin plan the funeral.

 

NerdyNerd: WAIT!! ANNIE YOU’LL GET ARRESTED!

 

Emotionless: Very funny Eren. I might use that on my teacher.

 

Stupid: :o

 

SwagKing: Wait, Jaeger lives?! Are you kidding me!?

 

NerdyNerd: I hope I can get that $2,000 back….

 

TitanLover: Oh, I hope this counts as making history!

 

Stupider: Why?

 

TitanLover: Because I’m writing down everything I can about this moment!

 

TitanLover: “Eren Jaeger insults Annie Leonhart and lives!”

 

Emotionless: Jerks.


 2 Hours Later...

 

MovesLikeJaeger: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: YOU GUYS WON’T BELIEVE WHAT MY NEW

MovesLikeJaeger: PROFESSOR’S NAME IS! HAHAHAHAH!

 

Stupider: What’s their name?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: PROFESSOR SNAPE!

 

SwagKing: Now I know you’re lying.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: NO I’M NOT! LOOK AT THIS:

 

MovesLikeJaeger: [Picture of a male professor and a sign that says “Professor Snape”.]

 

SwagKing: OH MY GOD IT’S REAL.

 

I’mLoud: I wonder if he knows he has the name of a H.P. character…

 

MovesLikeJaeger: HE DOES NOW. I’M DYING OVER HERE!

 

Captain: Hold on, I’m coming to get you.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Why?

 

Captain: Because you won’t pay attention in class after this.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: (O>O)





Chapter Text

Stupid: Hey guys, I think some of us need a change in the usernames.

 

NerdyNerd: Why?

 

Stupid: I get confused with the usernames. Reiner, Bertolt, and Ymir all Stupid: have usernames starting with “I’m”.

 

Stupider: There’s also the fact our usernames are basically the same.

 

I’mGod: I’m not changing my username, so don’t even.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: No problem! I’ve already got a list of people who need to

MovesLikeJaeger: change usernames.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: First up - Reiner.

 

I’mLoud: What should I change it to?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: RedNosedReiner?

 

I’mLoud: …….

 

I’mLoud has changed their username to RedNosedReiner.

 

RedNosedReiner: There. Who’s next?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Bertolt.

 

I’mQuiet: Um…

 

Stupider: BertleTheTurtle!

 

Stupid: Oh my God, yes!

I’mQuiet has changed their username to BertleTheTurtle.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Sasha, what is your username going to be?

 

Stupid: Um…...PotatoGirl?

 

I’mGod: Perfect.

 

Stupid has changed their username to PotatoGirl.

 

PotatoGirl: Connie’s turn!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I already have a username for Connie.

 

MovesLikeJaeger has changed Stupider’s username to StupidBeanBurrito.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: …...yes.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: And now Jean.

 

SwagKing: What about me???

 

MovesLikeJaeger has changed SwagKing’s username to MyLittleBrony.

 

MyLittleBrony: …..

 

MyLittleBrony: Well, it’s not the worst name.

 

PotatoGirl: Now I can’t get confused over the usernames!!!

 

I’mGod: I just want to know, how does Connie equal StupidBeanBurrito?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Well, he’s stupid and he eats way too many bean burritos.

 

I’mGod: Oh, okay.

 

MyLittleBrony: One day Sasha is going to turn into a potato and Connie’s

MyLittleBrony: going to turn into a bean burrito.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Who knows, Reiner might turn into The Little Red Nosed

MovesLikeJaeger: Reindeer.

 

I’mGod: I can see all that happening.

 

NerdyNerd: Eren, how do you come up with these usernames?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I just think of them.

 

NerdyNerd: You don’t plan them or anything?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Nope.

 

NerdyNerd: Eren you’re weird.

 

MovesLikeJaeger:  ¯\_(*3*)_/¯








Chapter Text

PotatoGirl: What does your all’s signatures look like?

MyLittleBrony: Why do you need to know this?

PotatoGirl: I’m just asking…

FreckledJesus: Don’t be mean Jean!

MovesLikeJaeger: Mine looks like this -
MovesLikeJaeger: [Picture of Eren’s signature.]

RedNosedReiner: That’s better than I thought it would be…

Commander: That’s better than Hanji’s writing. Good job.

Commander: [Picture of Erwin’s signature.]

StupidBeanBurrito: I can read “Smith” but what’s the first part?

Captain: It says Erwin Smith idiot.
Captain: [Picture of Levi’s signature.]

StupidBeanBurrito: Now I definitely can’t read that.

MovesLikeJaeger: After awhile you can.

I’mGod: What’re we doing?

PotatoGirl: I was wondering what everyone’s signatures looked like!

I’mGod: Oh.
I’mGod: [Picture of Ymir’s signature.]

RedNosedReiner: Oh wow, I can actually read that.

I’mGod: F*ck you.

PleaseBeKind: Language!

I’mGod: English.

PleaseBeKind: Ymir! Ignore her Reiner.
PleaseBeKind: [Picture of Krista’s signature.]

MovesLikeJaeger: So you’re the type to draw a line through the Z?

PleaseBeKind: Yeah…

MyLittleBrony: Took me a couple minutes to find paper, but here ya go.
MyLittleBrony: [Picture of Jean’s signature.]

StupidBeanBurrito: Was your hand shaking when you wrote that?

MyLittleBrony: No, why?

FreckledJesus: The “i”’s, the “n”’s, and the “r” have shakie lines.

MyLittleBrony: Huh.

PotatoGirl: Marco, your turn!

FreckledJesus: Oh! Okay..
FreckledJesus: [Picture of Marco’s signature.]

StupidBeanBurrito: Dude, it looks like a computer wrote that.

MovesLikeJaeger: Maybe Marco’s a cyborg.

FreckledJesus: I know it looks like that, it was how I was made to write in school.

PotatoGirl: Ah.

Emotionless: [Picture of Annie’s signature.]

RedNosedReiner: Well, that was random.

BertleTheTurtle: Um…[Picture of Bertolt’s signature.]

MovesLikeJaeger: Alright, just post a picture of your signature.

Nightwing: [Picture of Mikasa’s signature.]

NerdyNerd: [Picture of Armin’s signature.]

RedNosedReiner: [Picture of Reiner’s signature.]

PotatoGirl: [Picture of Sasha’s signature.]

StupidBeanBurrito: Okay, my signature looks really weird…
StupidBeanBurrito: [Picture of Connie’s signature.]

MyLittleBrony: It looks like you painted it.

MovesLikeJaeger: Did they not have handwriting classes at in your art class?

StupidBeanBurrito: Handwriting classes?

NerdyNerd: In high school we had handwriting classes in art class.

StupidBeanBurrito: No, I did not have a class like that.

MovesLikeJaeger: You should’ve. Maybe then you could have a normal
MovesLikeJaeger: signature.

StupidBeanBurrito: Hey! I do have a normal signature!

I’mGod: So you just sign something with paint?

StupidBeanBurrito: No!! Moving on, Hanji hasn’t shown us her’s!

TitanLover: Like Jean, it took forever to find a pen and paper.

Captain: That’s a sign that you need to clean your room.

TitanLover: Hush shorty!

TitanLover: [Picture of Hanji’s signature.]

MyLittleBrony: But….that looks better than her actual writing.

Commander: It’s were Hanji writes fast. She spends forever on her signature, though.

StupidBeanBurrito: Why?

TitanLover: Because the signature means everything!

Captain: I’m pretty sure what you actual wrote is more important.

TitanLover: To you!

I’mGod: You all are still doing this thing?
I’mGod: Go to bed, it’s 4:50 AM!

MyLittleBrony: ……..

StupidBeanBurrito: Crap.

Chapter Text

StupidBeanBurrito: Alright, I have to ask you all questions. If you don’t StupidBeanBurrito: answer, I might actually fail this class.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Ask away!

 

FreckledJesus: Wait, what kind of questions do we have to answer?

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Professor gave us a list of questions, so I don’t know.

StupidBeanBurrito: I think most of them are casual though.

 

FreckledJesus: That works!

 

StupidBeanBurrito: If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the

StupidBeanBurrito: extra time?

 

I’mGod: I think you know what Krista and I would do. ;)

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I would write more so I could get money.

 

FreckledJesus: Um...I guess I would build a birdhouse.

 

PotatoGirl: Eat! ALL FOODS BEFORE DUDES!!

 

NerdyNerd: I would probably study and write any notes I missed.

 

TitanLover: Experiment!

 

Captain: Drag Eren away from his writing so we could have sex.

 

Commander: Visit my family.

 

MyLittleBrony: I would probably look for the homework that I didn’t do and

MyLittleBrony: throw it away

 

RedNosedReiner: Bertolt and I would play football.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: When was the last time you climbed a tree?

 

I’mGod: I believe it was two months ago.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Jesus, I haven’t climbed a tree since I was 14.

 

PleaseBeKind: Two weeks ago!

 

FreckledJesus: 20 minutes ago.

 

Captain: I have yet to climb a tree.

 

TitanLover: 2 year ago. It was a really funny story actually!

 

Commander: Three years ago.

 

PotatoGirl: 3 months ago!

 

MyLittleBrony: Uh...2-3 years ago.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: What’s your favorite drink?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: PEPSI!

 

Captain: Tea.

 

MyLittleBrony: Mountain Dew.

 

PotatoGirl: Chocolate milk!!!

 

NerdyNerd: Pepsi…

 

FreckledJesus: Um…..coffee.

 

RedNosedReiner: Energy drink.

 

BurtleTheTurtle: Chocolate milk.

 

Commander: Coffee.

 

TitanLover: Alcohol! There’s so many things you can do with it!!

 

I’mGod: Pepsi.

 

PleaseBeKind: Tea!

 

StupidBeanBurrito: What would be your first question after waking up from

StupidBeanBurrito: being cryogenically frozen for 100 years?

 

PotatoGirl: “What food do you all have?”

 

FreckledJesus: “What animal species survived all this time?”

 

MyLittleBrony: “What kind of cars have been made?”

 

MovesLikeJaeger: “Has humanity gotten worse or better?”

 

TitanLover “What kind of history does this place have?!”

 

Commander: “What technology has been made?”

 

Captain: “Did the alcohol get better or worse?”

 

I’mGod: “Have any new sex things been made?”

 

PleaseBeKind: “What kind of cookies have been invented?”

 

StupidBeanBurrito: What age do you wish you could permanently be?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: 21.

 

I’mGod: 24.

 

FreckledJesus: 19.

 

Captain: I’d say 22.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Wait, does that mean we have to go to school forever?

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Um...I don’t know.

 

MyLittleBrony: In that case, 26.

 

TitanLover: This is a hard one!! Um….21.

 

PotatoGirl: 23!

 

PleaseBeKind: Huh…..24.

 

Commander: 25.

 

NerdyNerd: 23!

 

StupidBeanBurrito: What was the best book or series that you’ve ever read?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: HARRY POTTER…..and Yaoi manga.

 

Commander: I personally liked Harry Potter and The Hunger Games.

 

NerdyNerd: Oh! There is this one book that talks all about the land on Earth!

 

TitanLover: Yaoi and Yuri comics!!

 

Captain: I liked The Outsiders and The Dreadful Tale of Prosper Redding.

 

PotatoGirl: Cookbooks!

 

I’mGod: The Dreadful Tale of Prosper Redding.

 

FreckledJesus: Anything and everything about animals!

 

PleaseBeKind: Um…I guess anything to do with puppies.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: What’s the cheesiest movie line you can think of?

 

I’mGod: Gigli (2003)

I’mGod: Ricki “It’s turkey time.”

I’mGod: Larry “Huh?”

I’mGod: Ricki “Gobble, gobble.”

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Batman & Robin (1997)

MovesLikeJaeger: Robin: “I hate to disappoint you, but my rubber lips are

MovesLikeJaeger: immune to your charms.”

 

PleaseBeKind: City of Angels (1998)

PleaseBeKind: Maggie Rice “ We were made to fit together.”

 

FreckledJesus: As Good as It Gets (1997)

FreckledJesus: Simon Bishop “You’re why cavemen chiseled on walls.”

 

NerdyNerd: Titanic (1997)

NerdyNerd: Jack “I’m king of the world!”

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Thank you for helping me not fail this class!

 

FreckledJesus: You’re welcome!

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Now all I have to do is proofread it and turn it in.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: You’re not going to proofread it.

 

StupidBeanBurrito:  No I’m not.







Chapter Text


 

NerdyNerd: Do you all remember a show called 6teen?

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Omg, yeah!!!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: LIFE BEGINS AFTER SCHOOL, THAT’S WHEN WE

MovesLikeJaeger: BEND ALL THE RULES!!!

 

TitanLover: That show was my jam!!

 

I’mGod: It made being 16 look so cool.

 

MyLittleBrony: And then you just find out that being 16 is just boring.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: TIME TO HANG WITH ALL MY FRIENDS, WE LIKE TO

MovesLikeJaeger: BE TOGETHER, IN THE PLACE WHERE WE BELONG!!

 

PotatoGirl: It’s been so long! I’ve forgotten the character’s names though…

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Jude, Jen, Nikki, Jonesy, Caitlin, and Wyatt.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I’M 6TEEN STARTING TO FIND MY WAY, GOT A NEW

MovesLikeJaeger: JOB GONNA START AT THE MALL TODAY, THANK

MovesLikeJaeger: GOD I’M ON MY OWN FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!

 

RedNosedReiner: It amazes me how fast you can type.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Hey Ymir.

 

I’mGod: What?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: How do you show your affection to your friends?

 

I’mGod: I show affection to my friends by gently bullying them.

 

NerdyNerd: ……

 

MyLittleBrony: Should’ve seen that one coming.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I’M 6TEEN LIFE IS SWEET WHEN YOU’RE GROWING

MovesLikeJaeger: UP SO FAST, YOU GOTTA MAKE THE GOOD TIMES

MovesLikeJaeger: LAST!!!

 

PotatoGirl: Hey guys…

 

NerdyNerd: ?

 

PotatoGirl: Why can’t stuffing my face with pizza make me look attractive?

 

NerdyNerd: *giggle*

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I’M 6TEEN, I’M 6TEEN GOTTA MAKE THE GOOD

MovesLikeJaeger: TIMES LAST!!!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I ran out of theme song :(.  

 

MyLittleBrony: How do you “run out of theme song”?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: There’s no more lyrics dumbo.

 

FreckledJesus: Why does Nikki and Gwen from Total Drama look like

FreckledJesus: sisters to me?

 

I’mGod: I can see that.

 

TitanLover: I wish we could still watch it…

 

MovesLikeJaeger: You can!

 

TitanLover: Wait, really?!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Yeah, you can watch episode 1 here .

 

TitanLover: :O

 

TitanLover: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!

Chapter Text

MyLittleBrony: Has anyone see my hoodie?

MyLittleBrony: It’s a Rainbow Dash hoodie.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I haven’t seen that in a while actually.

 

PotatoGirl: Hm….I don’t think so.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: The last time I saw it, it was on your bed.

 

RedNosedReiner: Oh, that was your hoodie!

 

MyLittleBrony: ???

 

RedNosedReiner: Bertolt and I were in your dorm looking for the basketball

RedNosedReiner: you borrowed. We found it, but we also found this

RedNosedReiner: multicolored hoodie. I picked it up and began looking at it.

RedNosedReiner: Anyway, I walked back into a shelf, knocking over

 

RedNosedReiner: something in a blue and red can. It got all over the

RedNosedReiner: hoodie and we thought of what we could do. We decided

RedNosedReiner: to wash it, but the stain didn’t come out. After a few tries, we threw it away.

 

MyLittleBrony: …..

MyLittleBrony: Well, there goes that idea.

 

NerdyNerd: What idea?

 

MyLittleBrony: I was going to wear that hoodie to my cousin's birthday party.

 

I’mGod: Why don’t you just buy a new one?

 

MyLittleBrony: I’m a broke college student and that hoodie was like $30.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Why would you pay $30 for a hoodie?

 

MyLittleBrony: It was Rainbow Dash..

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I’ll buy you a new one.

 

MyLittleBrony: Wait, really!? Why!?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: You seem really bummed about this, and I know I would

MovesLikeJaeger: want to buy a new one if one of my hoodies got thrown away.

 

I’mGod: Well, that’s not something you see everyday.

 

Nightwing: Eren, do you even have the money to buy him a new one?

 

PotatoGirl: A wild Mikasa appears!!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Yes!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: So, I searched up Rainbow Dash hoodies and these are

MovesLikeJaeger: options.

 

MyLittleBrony: Wait, how much money do you have?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: $50.

MovesLikeJaeger: Anyway, one is $12.36 (but it’s a jacket and not a

MovesLikeJaeger: hoodie), another is $20.54, and one is $30.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I sent you a picture of each one.

 

MyLittleBrony: Hm...the $12.36 one looks nice.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: That one?

 

MyLittleBrony: Yeah.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Okay.

 

PleaseBeKind: What does your new hoodie look like?

 

MyLittleBrony: It looks like this .

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Again, that’s  a jacket.

 

MyLittleBrony: Whatever.

 

FreckledJesus: Jean, say thank you.

 

MyLittleBrony: ……

 

FreckledJesus: JEAN!

 

MyLittleBrony: Thank you.

 

FreckledJesus: Whom, and for what?

 

MyLittleBrony: Thank you Eren for buying me a new hoodie.

 

FreckledJesus: Good boy.

 

I’mGod: Wow. Just wow.







Chapter Text

**WARNING!!: There's lots and lots of math that I used a calculator for.**


 

MyLittleBrony: What’s the quadratic equation?

 

I’mGod: Why?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: -b +- √b^2-4ac

 

MyLittleBrony: Because I need to redo my math homework.

 

NerdyNerd: Why do you need to redo your math homework?

 

FreckledJesus: Did you lose it again?

 

MyLittleBrony: No, I have to redo it because SOMEONE decided to pour

MyLittleBrony: Root Beer on it!

 

StupidBeanBurrito: I said I was sorry!

 

I’mGod: Root Beer? Ew.  

 

RedNosedReiner: Forget it being wet, if it has Root Beer on it you have to RedNosedReiner: throw it away.

 

MyLittleBrony: That’s not the point!

 

MyLittleBrony:  What’s 88,856 x 3 + 5 - 9?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: 266, 564.

 

NerdyNerd: Why don’t you just do the math yourself?

 

MyLittleBrony: Because I spent 3 hours on the last homework sheet and

MyLittleBrony: my brain can’t take any more math.

 

MyLittleBrony: What’s 6,548,231 x 56 x 96 - 12 x 96?

 

I’mGod: Jesus Christ, I wouldn’t want to do that a second time either.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: 35,203,288,704.

 

NerdyNerd: Doesn’t this count as cheating?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: It’s not cheating if you don’t get caught.

 

NerdyNerd: Okay…..

 

RedNosedReiner: Eren, why have you been silent?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I have homework of my own to finish.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: You doing homework? I don’t believe it.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I don’t believe you do homework either.

 

I’mGod: How much do you have?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Enough to make this group chat a distraction.

 

RedNosedReiner: It can’t be that much.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: 3 twelve page math assignments, an art project, I have

MovesLikeJaeger: to write a mini novel by Friday, and 1 history

MovesLikeJaeger: assignment.

 

RedNosedReiner: …..

 

MovesLikeJaeger: :).

MyLittleBrony: 65,265 x (5,598) - 12 + 45 x 1 - 63?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: 365, 353,440.

 

NerdyNerd: Eren, go do your work!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Fine.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: So...what do we do now?

 

I’mGod: I...don’t know.

 

I’mGod: I’m just going to go do my own thing.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: You do that.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: I’m….going to go see what Sasha’s doing.



Chapter Text

StupidBeanBurrito: Do you remember when I broke that vase the

StupidBeanBurrito: school was going to sell for $8,876,345,234,895?

 

MyLittleBrony: Still can’t believe you did that.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: The vase was ugly anyway.

 

I’mGod: What about it?

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Well….

 

MovesLikeJaeger: There’s a punishment, isn’t there.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: I….yeah.

 

I’mGod: What is it?

 

StupidBeanBurrito: We have to clean  the school,

 

NerdyNerd: That’s not that bad. You’ll get it done in no time!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Armin….we means us too.

 

NerdyNerd: What?! Why!?

 

StupidBeanBurrito: The headmaster said it would teach you not to do the

StupidBeanBurrito: same things we did.

 

I’mGod: That’s just bullsh*t.

MovesLikeJaeger: We better get started if we want to finish in time.


 

   Connie, Eren, Ymir, Armin, and Jean stared at the list the headmaster had given Connie. “Okay...first we have to clean the music room. That should be easy.” Armin said, pointing at the music room. “The music room is #23 on the list. I say we do #3, the art room.” Connie said. “Cleaning up paint can’t be that bad.” he shrugged. “You clearly haven’t tried to clean paint.” Eren said under his breath. “How about the health room? They barely use the room.” Ymir suggested. “Can we just pick a room?” Jean complained. “We could clean the drama room first. It’s #4 on the list, plus all we’re going to do is pick up costumes.” Eren suggested. “I say we do that.” Ymir said, “The less work, the better.”. “Picking up costumes can’t be that hard.” Connie shrugged. “Just imagine the pounds of glitter…” Jean shuddered. “Wait, don’t we have to go get the cleaning supplies?” Armin said, taking the note from Connie and putting it in his pocket. “Aw man, that means we have to go to the janitor’s closet.” Jean whined.

 

 

   They walked to the drama room, cleaning supplies in hand, and Jean still complaining about how much glitter there will be. “This is it. Hopefully the headmaster didn’t tell anyone that we were going to be cleaning the rooms.” Eren said as he opened the door with a plaque with the word ‘DRAMA’ on it. One look into the room and you could tell this was the drama room. Costumes were everywhere, glitter was on the floor, tables, walls, and costumes, backdrops were there, and scripts were thrown everywhere. “How do you even get glitter on the walls!?” Jean exclaimed. “It isn’t as bad at it could be….I think.” Armin said. “Isn’t Stacy in the drama club? You’d think her O.C.D would make her clean all of this.” Ymir said, picking up a broom from the cleaning supplies. “I thought so too.” Eren commented, beginning to pick up the costumes, throwing more glitter everywhere. Ymir looked at the glitter, deciding it was best to get more glitter on the floor now, than when she was done cleaning it. Eren picked up the costumes, Ymir swept the glitter on the floor, Armin organized all the scripts, Connie tried to get the glitter off the wall, and Jean (carefully, he didn’t want to get yelled at by the drama club) put the backdrops in a corner. “I swear I swept more than a pound of glitter.” Ymir said as she looked at the glitter in the dustpan. Before she could spill it, she dumped it in the black garbage bag. “Just wait until you get to the walls and tables.” Connie sighed, scrubbing glitter on the wall.  “I might have to make more scripts. These are covered in glitter.” Armin said, writing the scripts’ names on an extra piece of (clean) paper. “How much glitter do they need?!” Jean exclaimed, opening a cabinet and finding tubes of glitter. “Enough to annoy people.” Connie said.

 

1 Hour Later….

 

   “Finally finished.” Jean said. “Next time you break a vase, I’m not helping.” Ymir said to Connie as Armin crossed #4 of the cleaning list. “So, which room next?” Armin asked. “Health room?” Ymir suggested again. Everyone agreed, so they headed to the health room with their cleaning supplies.

 

   They just had to sweep, organize some things, fix the posters, and clean the desks in the health classroom. They soon discovered they had to do the same with the art room, along with cleaning some paint off. “That was easier than I thought.” Connie commented as they headed to the chemistry room. “It was only easy because they used the cheap paint.” Eren said. They reached the chemistry room and opened the door. It wasn’t that dirty to be honest, they just need to sweep, clean the desks, fix some posters and organize papers, and make sure the tops are on the bottles. “Connie, you should sit this one out.” Eren said as he began fixing the posters. “What!? Why!?” Connie asked. “We all know chemistry isn’t your best subject.” Jean replied. “And that you could blow something up.” Ymir continued. “Alright, fine.” Connie pouted as he crossed his arms. While Eren, Jean, Armin, and Ymir cleaned the room, Connie had to wait in the hallway. They had banned him from stepping a foot into the room, knowing something bad was going to happen.

 

 

   “You can stop pouting now.” Jean said as they exited the chemistry room. Connie jumped up from the floor and asked “What room are we doing next?”. Armin crossed #6 off the list and then looked. “You guys aren’t going to like this.” Armin said. “What, what is it?” Ymir asked, looking over Armin’s shoulder. “We have to clean the gym next.” Armin told them. “Ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, EW!” Eren exclaimed, wiping his hands on his pants. “Oh God, please no!” Connie whined. They continued to whine for a few minutes before they decided to get it over with. “Are you sure we can’t clean another room?” Connie asked as they stood in front of the gym doors. “Yes, I’m sure.” Armin said as he opened the gym doors. “Oh God, it smells like sweat!!” Jean gagged as he held his throat. “Sweet Jesus, please!” Ymir begged as she gagged. “Why do we have to do this!?” Eren gagged. Connie and Armin were to busy gagging to say anything.

 

2 Hours Of Pain, Suffering, and Gagging Later…

 

    “I can finally breathe!” Jean  said as they exited the gym. “Oh my God, I’m never helping you ever again!” Eren said to Connie. “I’m going to go lay down. See ya losers later.” Ymir sighed. Eren, Jean, Armin, and Ymir learned to never help Connie ever again that day. At least if they don't want to puke. 

Chapter Text

NerdyNerd: Eren, why does it smell like smoke in the dorm?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Because I was smoking.

 

Nightwing: I thought you quit.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I stopped smoking daily, I didn’t stop smoking.

 

TitanLover: Eren smokes?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Yeah. I thought everyone knew this already.

 

TitanLover: That’s bad!!! Levi, did you set him up to this!?

 

Captain: The brat was smoking before he even met me.

 

TitanLover: Still, you smoke and know the bad things about it! Teach Eren them!

 

Captain: Eren knows the dangers of smoking Hanji, he’s fine.

Nightwing: You’ve tried everything we can think of to make him stop.

 

NerdyNerd: None of them worked, but we didn’t see him smoking for a few

NerdyNerd: weeks and thought he’d quit.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I’ll never quit, so don’t even try.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Besides, cigarettes are better than the other ones.

 

I’mGod: He has a point there.

 

TitanLover: I don’t care if they’re better, he needs to stop!

MovesLikeJaeger: Nope :).

 

Captain: As long as he watches it, he’s fine.

 

Captain: Brat.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Yes?

 

Captain: Come to my dorm.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Okay.

 

I’mGod: We all know how this is going to go.


 

Chapter Text

StupidBeanBurrito: Guys, I was thinking while in class.

I’mGod: This is going to be bad.

PleaseBeKind: Ymir!

I’mGod: Krista.

PleaseBeKind:...

I’mGod: ;)

StupidBeanBurrito: ANYWAY, I was thinking and I realized that me and
StupidBeanBurrito: Sasha are the only heterosexuals here.

I’mGod: I stand corrected. That was neither bad or important.

MovesLikeJaeger: *Sasha and I.
MovesLikeJaeger: How do you know how to spell heterosexual?

MyLittleBrony: He looked it up.

StupidBeanBurrito: No I didn’t!

MyLittleBrony: Yes you did.

MovesLikeJaeger: Connie, do I have to remind you why stupid is still in
MovesLikeJaeger: your name?

StupidBeanBurrito: NO.

MyLittleBrony: So you looked it up?

StupidBeanBurrito: No, I asked Sasha and she looked it up!
StupidBeanBurrito: …..

MylittleBrony: What I’d tell you?

StupidBeanBurrito: Still, we’re the only hetrosexuals here.

TitanLover: Levi’s half gay and half hetrosexual!

I’mGod: So...he’s bisexual?

TitanLover: Yeah!

MyLittleBrony: You could've just said that in the first place.

TitanLover: But I didn’t.

MovesLikeJaeger: So the whole point of this was to remind us that you and
MovesLikeJaeger: Sasha are the only hetrosexuals in out friend group?

StupidBeanBurrito: I mean….yeah…..

MovesLikeJaeger: You realized we already knew that and wasted our time
MovesLikeJaeger: that we could’ve spent doing something important?

StupidBeanBurrito: I didn’t think you all had anything important to do….

MovesLikeJaeger: ….
MovesLikeJaeger: I’m f*cking done with you Connie.

I’mGod: …..

MyLittleBrony: What the f*ck man.

Captain: Don’t pay attention to him, he hasn’t slept for days and he’s
Captain: overwhelmed.

StupidBeanBurrito: Okay…..

I’mGod: I’m just going to leave….

TitanLover: Um...see you all tomorrow…

Chapter Text

I’mGod: I know this is a cliché in this group chat, but I need help on an I’mGod: essay. Specifically, a biography of Walt Disney.

 

MyLittleBrony: Why Walt Disney?

 

I’mGod: I guess my teacher just likes the Disney movies.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I can help!

 

NerdyNerd: Why don’t you ask Krista?

 

I’mGod: She’s sick.

I’mGod: You can help me?!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Yep!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Born in Chicago in 1901, Disney developed an early interest in drawing. He took art classes as a boy and got a job as a commercial illustrator at the age of 18. He moved to California in the early

MovesLikeJaeger: 1920s and set up the Disney Brothers Studio with his brother Roy. With Ub Iwerks, Walt developed the character Mickey Mouse in 1928, his first highly popular success; he also provided the voice for his creation in the early years.

MovesLikeJaeger: As the studio grew, Disney became more adventurous, introducing synchronized sound, full-color three-strip Technicolor, feature-length cartoons and technical developments in cameras.

MovesLikeJaeger: The results, seen in features such as Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937), Pinocchio, Fantasia (both 1940), Dumbo (1941) and Bambi (1942), furthered the development of animated film. New animated and live-action films followed after World War II, including the critically successful Cinderella (1950) and Mary Poppins (1964), the latter of which received five Academy Awards.

MovesLikeJaeger: In the 1950s, Disney expanded into the amusement park industry, and in 1955 he opened Disneyland. To fund the project he diversified into television programs, such as Walt Disney's Disneyland and The Mickey Mouse Club; he was also involved in planning the 1959 Moscow Fair, the 1960 Winter Olympics, and the 1964 New York World's Fair.

MovesLikeJaeger: In 1965, he began development of another theme park, Disney World, the heart of which was to be a new type of city, the "Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow" (EPCOT). Disney was a heavy smoker throughout his life, and died of lung cancer in December 1966 before either the park or the EPCOT project were completed.
MovesLikeJaeger: Disney was a shy, self-deprecating and insecure man in private but adopted a warm and outgoing public persona. He had high standards and high expectations of those with whom he worked. Although there have been accusations that he was racist or anti-Semitic, they have been contradicted by many who knew him.

MovesLikeJaeger: His reputation changed in the years after his death, from a purveyor of homely patriotic values to a representative of American imperialism. He nevertheless remains an important figure in the history of animation and in the cultural history of the United States, where he is considered a national cultural icon.

MovesLikeJaeger: His film work continues to be shown and adapted; his studio maintains high standards in its production of popular entertainment, and the Disney amusement parks have grown in size and number to attract visitors in several countries.

MovesLikeJaeger: If you want the longer, detailed version click here.

I’mGod: Thanks Eren. I’ll make sure to change some words.

MovesLikeJaeger: Also….
MovesLikeJaeger: It’s Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Even though the

MovesLikeJaeger: sound of it is something quite atrocious!

TitanLover: MARY POPPINS REFERENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Captain: Jesus, Hanji, what’re you screaming about?

TitanLover: Your boyfriend just made a MARY POPPINS REFERENCE!!!!

Captain: That’s important because…?

TitanLover: He said he never watched Mary Poppins!

Captain: And…?

TitanLover: So he lied!

Captain: Why should I care?

TitanLover: Just forget it.


 

Born in Chicago in 1901, Disney developed an early interest in drawing. He took art classes as a boy and got a job as a commercial illustrator at the age of 18. He moved to California in the early 1920s and set up the Disney Brothers Studio with his brother Roy. With Ub Iwerks, Walt developed the character Mickey Mouse in 1928, his first highly popular success; he also provided the voice for his creation in the early years.

As the studio grew, Disney became more adventurous, introducing synchronized sound, full-color three-strip Technicolor, feature-length cartoons and technical developments in cameras. The results, seen in features such as Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937), Pinocchio, Fantasia (both 1940), Dumbo (1941) and Bambi (1942), furthered the development of animated film. New animated and live-action films followed after World War II, including the critically successful Cinderella (1950) and Mary Poppins (1964), the latter of which received five Academy Awards.


In the 1950s, Disney expanded into the amusement park industry, and in 1955 he opened Disneyland. To fund the project he diversified into television programs, such as Walt Disney's Disneyland and The Mickey Mouse Club; he was also involved in planning the 1959 Moscow Fair, the 1960 Winter Olympics, and the 1964 New York World's Fair. In 1965, he began development of another theme park, Disney World, the heart of which was to be a new type of city, the "Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow" (EPCOT). Disney was a heavy smoker throughout his life, and died of lung cancer in December 1966 before either the park or the EPCOT project were completed.
Disney was a shy, self-deprecating and insecure man in private but adopted a warm and outgoing public persona. He had high standards and high expectations of those with whom he worked. Although there have been accusations that he was racist or anti-Semitic, they have been contradicted by many who knew him. His reputation changed in the years after his death, from a purveyor of homely patriotic values to a representative of American imperialism. He nevertheless remains an important figure in the history of animation and in the cultural history of the United States, where he is considered a national cultural icon.
His film work continues to be shown and adapted; his studio maintains high standards in its production of popular entertainment, and the Disney amusement parks have grown in size and number to attract visitors in several countries.


And now we bring you....Under The Sea, typed by AutumnStevenson4! 

The seaweed is always greener

 

In somebody else's lake

You dream about going up there

But that is a big mistake

Just look at the world around you

Right here on the ocean floor

Such wonderful things surround you

What more is you lookin' for?

 

Under the sea

Under the sea

Darling it's better

Down where it's wetter

Take it from me

Up on the shore they work all day

Out in the sun they slave away

While we devotin'

Full time to floatin'

Under the sea

 

Down here all the fish is happy

As off through the waves they roll

The fish on the land ain't happy

They sad 'cause they in their bowl

But fish in the bowl is lucky

They in for a worser fate

One day when the boss get hungry

Guess who's gon' be on the plate

 

Under the sea

Under the sea

Nobody beat us

Fry us and eat us

In fricassee

We what the land folks loves to cook

Under the sea we off the hook

We got no troubles

Life is the bubbles

Under the sea

Under the sea

Since life is sweet here

We got the beat here

Naturally

Even the sturgeon an' the ray

They get the urge 'n' start to play

We got the spirit

You got to hear it

Under the sea

 

The newt play the flute

The carp play the harp

The plaice play the bass

And they soundin' sharp

The bass play the brass

The chub play the tub

The fluke is the duke of soul

(Yeah)

The ray he can play

The lings on the strings

The trout rockin' out

The blackfish she sings

The smelt and the sprat

They know where it's at

An' oh that blowfish blow

 

Under the sea

Under the sea

When the sardine

Begin the beguine

It's music to me

What do they got? A lot of sand

We got a hot crustacean band

Each little clam here

know how to jam here

Under the sea

Each little slug here

Cuttin' a rug here

Under the sea

Each little snail here

Know how to wail here

That's why it's hotter

Under the water

Ya we in luck here

Down in the muck here

Under the sea


 

DaRlnG It'S BeTtEr, DOWN WHERE IT'S WETTER, TaKe It FrOm Me!!!! 

 < Darling it's better, d own where it's wetter, take it from me!

 

Chapter Text

 *WARNING!: My R is a song with suicidal messages!!* 


 MovesLikeJaeger: Do you all remember when I was typing “The Game of MovesLikeJaeger: Life” and everyone was confused?

 

RedNosedReiner: Yeah.

 

MyLittleBrony: I still want to know why anybody would write a song like that.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Well, I found another Vocaloid song!

 

TitanLover: Vocaloid?

 

Captain: Yes Hanji, Vocaloid. He’s been blasting the song for hours and

Captain: and has been trying to find the real message.

 

FreckledJesus: So he’s been making theories?

 

Captain: Basically, yes.

 

PotatoGirl: Can you give us a link?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: My R, male version.

MovesLikeJaeger: My R, female version.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Wait, is the girl trying to commit suicide!?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Yep.

 

PleaseBeKind: What does “My R” stand for?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I believe it stands for “My Reasons”. Others believe it

MovesLikeJaeger: stands for “My Reflection”.

 

PleaseBeKind: Oh, okay!

 

I’mGod: Is there a japanese version of this?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: My R, Japanese version.

 

FreckledJesus: Why are all Vocaloid songs depressing?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Not all of them are depressing, look at this one:

MovesLikeJaeger: Always Be ^o^, english version.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Isn’t that a devil sign?

 

MyLittleBrony: What devil sign?

 

StupidBeanBurrito: This one!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Yeah, but the song’s still happy!

 

StupidBeanBurrito: I guess…

 

Captain: Brat, turn the f*cking song off.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Why?

 

Captain: Turn it off or I’ll punish you!

 

MovesLikeJaeger:.....

MovesLikeJaeger: Fine.

 

FreckledJesus: What did Levi mean when he said he was going to punish Eren?

 

RedNosedReiner: …….

 

I’mGod: Oh Marco, you poor innocent baby.

Chapter Text

MovesLikeJaeger: Hey Hanji, do you want to test your mind?

 

TitanLover: Of course! There once was a doctor the said if you tested your

 

Captain: Hanji, let the boy speak.

 

TitanLover: Oh, okay!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: What zips through the sky with a tail of fire and dust.

MovesLikeJaeger: It could be an omen, its origin to discuss?

 

PotatoGirl: What’s an omen?

 

NerdyNerd: An omen is an event regarded as a portent of good or evil.

 

PotatoGirl: Oh!

 

TitanLover: Well, that’s easy! It’s a comet!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Correct! Next one…

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I am a number with a couple of friends, quarter a

MovesLikeJaeger: dozen, and you'll find me again. What am I?

 

NerdyNerd: Quarter a dozen…

 

TitanLover: It’s the number 3!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Correct again!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: What cruel person would sit on a baby?

MyLittleBrony: That person’s going to h*ll.

 

PleaseBeKind: Who would sit on a baby!?

 

I’mGod: That’s what we’re trying to find out sweetheart.

 

Captain: It’s a babysitter.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Correct!

RedNosedReiner: Omfg..

 

MovesLikeJaeger: What do elves do after school?

 

RedNosedReiner: Do they make elf sized footballs?

 

PleaseBeKind: Take care of the reindeers?

 

NerdyNerd: Do they do their homework?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: That’s a close answer, Armin!

 

TitanLover: They do their gnomework!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Correct!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I am known for my natural tuxedo and marching.

MovesLikeJaeger: What am I?

 

StupidBeanBurrito: ……….

 

PleaseBeKind: Um…..

 

FreckledJesus: …..hint please?....

 

MovesLikeJaeger: It’s a flightless bird.

 

Captain: It’s a penguin, isn’t it?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Correct!

 

I’mGod: Was there a point to this?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Yes, yes there was.

 

I’mGod: And the point was?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: So I could get more content for my novel.

 

I’mGod: Of course.

Chapter Text

MovesLikeJaeger: I have a challenge for you all! Type the first lyrics that
MovesLikeJaeger: come to your mind!

MyLittleBrony: Why are you that first person to start most talks in the
MyLittleBrony: group chat?

StupidBeanBurrito: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

I’mGod: Blood red lipstick, you don’t smile.

MovesLikeJaeger: Ghost Town, You’re So Creepy!

I’mGod: Why did I know you’d get that?

StupidBeanBurrito: Sometimes I forget what other people just may think.

MovesLikeJaeger: Is Never Enough by Eminem the only song you know?

StupidBeanBurrito: Dang it!

RedNosedReiner: Now the dark begins to rise, save your breath it's far
RedNosedReiner: from over.

MovesLikeJaeger: I Will Not Bow by Breaking Benjamin.

TitanLover: Life’s candy and the sun’s a ball of butter!

MovesLikeJaeger: Don’t Rain On My Parade by Barbra Streisand.

NerdyNerd: He traveled all around the world and everywhere he went
NerdyNerd: he’d use his word and all would say “There goes a clever gent.”

MovesLikeJaeger: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious by Mary Poppins!

MyLittleBrony: Jesus, you typed that fast.

StupidBeanBurrito: How can you spell that so fast?

Commander: We start with stars in our eyes. We start believing that
Commander: we belong, but every sun doesn’t rise….

MovesLikeJaeger: Waving Through A Window from Dear Evan Hansen!

MyLittleBrony: You wanted control so I waited, I put on a show…

MovesLikeJaeger: Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5, haha.

FreckledJesus: Why don’t we all just stand up and fight? In my blood, in my
FreckledJesus: veins, in my heart I know what’s right for me!

MovesLikeJaeger: Lets see…..I Refuse by Simple Plan.

FreckledJesus: Dang it!

PotatoGirl: Dreams are a curse, wake up you’re alive. Oh, slowly fading
PotatoGirl: from the misery….

MovesLikeJaeger: Devil On My Shoulder by Faith Marie!

PleaseBeKind: You can see it in my eyes, a child’s spark light up the
PleaseBeKind: night. Constant search for approval, suffocated by refusal…

MovesLikeJaeger: Faith Marie, Toxic Thoughts.

MyLittleBrony: Oh, you’re my best friend in a world we must defend!

MovesLikeJaeger: Pokémon theme song!

TitanLover: NOBODY ELSE TYPE UNTIL I TELL YOU TO, OR YOU’RE
TitanLover: GOING TO HAVE A VERY, VERY BAD TIME!

RedNosedReiner: Uh….okay.

TitanLover: WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!

TitanLover: NO MORE TYPING UNLESS I SAY SO!

TitanLover: Now then…

TitanLover: Well now who could it be, that lives inside of me? I'm broken,
TitanLover: lying helpless, shattered surrounded by the world and yet,
TitanLover: you're smiling bright, completely blind to life.

MovesLikeJaeger: Unravel, the Tokyo Ghoul theme song!

TitanLover: D*AM*IT!

TitanLover: There’ll be no more darkness when you believe in yourself,
TitanLover: you are unstoppable!

MovesLikeJaeger: History Maker(s), Yuri!!! On Ice theme song!

TitanLover: UGH!

TitanLover: Can you hear my heartbeat ‘coz every new ep is getting
TitainLover: more gay! This anime is making my Fujoshi dreams come true.

MovesLikeJaeger: We Were Born To Ship Vikturi by Judee Zee.

TitanLover: But lost inside your eyes, lies become clearer to see!

MovesLikeJaeger: Black Butler english theme song!

TitanLover: MOTHERF*CKER.

TitanLover: Okay, if you don’t get this correct you are BANNED from the
TitanLover: anime/manga community! FOREVER!

TitanLover: I see you come, I watch you go you never seemed to leave me
TitanLover: though.

MovesLikeJaeger: Sakura Kiss, Ouran High School Host Club’s theme
MovesLikeJaeger: song!

StupidBeanBurrito: I still want to know how you were able to spell
StupidBeanBurrito: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious in less than a minute.

MovesLikeJaeger: A secret I’ll never tell ;).

NerdyNerd: Where was Levi when all this went down?

MovesLikeJaeger: He’s sleeping.

I’mGod: Well, I’ve heard everything now.

MovesLikeJaeger: It was a surprise to me too.

MyLittleBrony: What do we do now?

MovesLikeJaeger: We should probably get to class, it’s 10:30 AM.

MyLittleBrony: OH MY F*CKING GOD I’M GOING TO BE LATE!

PotatoGirl: I CAN’T GET IN TROUBLE FOR BEING LATE AGAIN! MY
PotatoGirl: EXCUSE WON’T WORK A SECOND TIME!

StupidBeanBurrito: Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god

MovesLikeJaeger: Well, I had fun making you all late for your classes :)!
MovesLikeJaeger: Good luck!

Chapter Text

StupidBeanBurrito: SCHOOL’S OUT FOR SUMMER!

 

I’mGod: Dear God, finally!

 

PotatoGirl: NO MORE HOMEWORK!!!

 

NerdyNerd: Hey Eren, is your novel almost complete?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Yes, actually! Just a few more chapters should do.

 

MyLittleBrony: How long is the novel anyway?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: 300-1,000 pages. Who knows, I might have to split it in

MovesLikeJaeger: half.

 

PleaseBeKind: How’re you going to do that?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Well, I could have Novel #1 with 400-700 pages and

MovesLikeJaeger: have Novel #2 have the rest of the pages.

 

PleaseBeKind: Ah, okay!

 

RedNosedReiner: Please tell me you didn’t write a 1,000 novel based on

RedNosedReiner: this crappy group chat.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Of course I didn’t! I added song lyrics, things about me,

MovesLikeJaeger: our college, you guys, anime, cartoons, what’s it like to

MovesLikeJaeger: be 18 with a bunch of 19-20 year olds, that stuff!

 

StupidBeanBurrito: No wonder the novel’s 1,000 pages!

 

I’mGod: You all done? I actually want to do something this summer.

 

BertleTheTurtle: How about we go to the lake?

 

MyLittleBrony: I’M NOT DRIVING! DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH MY CAR!

 

I’mGod: :)

 

FreckledJesus: I think that’s a wonderful idea!

 

TitanLover: Are we going to the lake?!

 

Captain: Oh, f*ck no.

 

NerdyNerd: We could take Reiner’s truck. It’s built for mud and water.

 

MyLittleBrony: One problem. There’s 15 of us and Reiner’s truck holds 5 people.

 

RedNosedReiner: I could borrow my dad’s truck.

 

TitanLover: So we are going to the lake?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Yes Hanji, we’re going to the lake.

 

TitanLover: YAS!

 

Captain: Oh my God.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: FIELD TRIP!

 

Nightwing: Eren, Armin, don’t forget to bring sunscreen.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Mikasa!

 

NerdyNerd: Mikasa!

 

Nightwing: Don’t argue with me.

 

I’mGod: Mama Mikasa in the building everybody!

 

RedNosedReiner: Jesus help us…

 

FreckledJesus: Yes?

 

RedNosedReiner: …..

 

I’mGod: Well, Jesus answered you.

 

PotatoGirl: Do you guys no if they have an garlic bread in the kitchen?

 

I’mGod: No. Go look on the menu.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Hey guys?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: SCHOOL’S OUT FOR SUMMER!

 

Commander: Where’s that from?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: School’s Out by Alice Cooper.

 

Commander: Ah.

 

TitanLover: Can we go to the lake now?!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Yes, Hanji.

 

TitanLover: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!

 

Chapter Text

I’mGod: Dear God, it’s only the third day of summer and I’m already bored.

 

RedNosedReiner: I know right!? I can’t even play football!

 

PleaseBeKind: Why can’t you play football, Reiner?

 

RedNosedReiner: Because I can’t get anyone to play with me.

 

I’mGod: Anyway, anyone got some suggestions to cure my boredom?

 

MyLittleBrony: Have you already searched the internet for anything?

 

I’mGod: Yeah.

 

NerdyNerd: Have you tried to get all your missed/skipped assignment done?

 

I’mGod: Yeah, did that too.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Have you searched for some p*rn?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Oh, come on! P*rn is censored too!?

 

PleaseBeKind: Yes, because it’s a bad thing and I consider it a cuss word!

 

MyLittleBrony: Next thing we know you’re going to start saying having sex before marriage is a sin.

 

I’mGod: Horseface is right Krista, and yes I have Eren.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Have you tried to play every video game you could find?

 

I’mGod: First...well second, thing I did.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Was your first thing trying to trick Krista into having sex?

 

I’mGod: You could say that.

I’mGod: But I succeeded.  

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Isn’t that considered r*pe?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Now why the f*ck is r*pe censored?!

 

PleaseBeKind: Because it’s a bad thing!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: So is sex in some people’s eyes but it’s not censored!

 

I’mGod: ANYWAY, Connie, it is not considered r*pe if she agreed.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Okay, then.

 

I’mGod: Eren, what’re you doing right now?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Watching My Hero Academy, why?

 

I’mGod: Perfect! Isn’t Katsuki Bakugou such a bada**!?  

 

MovesLikeJaeger: YeS!

 

MyLittleBrony: Is he the dude with the blonde spiky hair and fire powers?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: HiS NaMe Is KaTsUkI BaKuGoU AnD It’S CaLlEd A QUiRk!

 

MyLittleBrony: I don’t give a sh*t about what it’s called!

 

I’mGod: What is your headcanons about Katsuki?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: He can be trans in some fics, he’s depressed, he self

MovesLikeJaeger: harms, he’s an omega, he’s pregnant, and he has an eating disorder.

 

I’mGod: Who do you ship him with? I ship him with Shoto Todoroki.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Anyone of the guys really, as long as Katsuki’s the bottom.

 

I’mGod: Cool! I can I come have a M.H.A. marathon with you?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Totally!

 

I’mGod: Nice!

 

MyLittleBrony: …..

 

FreckledJesus: She does realize that My Hero Academy is an anime right?

 

StupidBeanBurrito: I think she does, why?

 

FreckledJesus: Because when we were talking about Lost One’s Weeping

FreckledJesus: Ymir said “ Ew. Anime thing.”.

 

RedNosedReiner: On the topic of anime, I spent my time being friends with

RedNosedReiner: Eren not knowing what anime was but predicted it was

RedNosedReiner: some kind of show. I decided to google it today.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: What came up?

 

RedNosedReiner: a style of Japanese film and television animation,

RedNosedReiner: typically aimed at adults as well as children.

 

RedNosedReiner: As well as anime p*rn named Hentai, but whatever.

 

RedNosedReiner: But anyway, all this time anime was just Japanese cartoons!?

 

RedNosedReiner: How does he understand what the characters are saying?

 

PleaseBeKind: Because they make english versions of anime.

 

PleaseBeKind: And Eren speaks/understands Japanese, so I mean….

 

RedNosedReiner: Oh, okay.

 

I’mGod: Well, this cured my boredom a little bit, but now I’m bored again.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Same.

StupidBeanBurrito: Have you all seen Sasha?

 

FreckledJesus: She’s raiding the kitchen again.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Thanks!

 

NerdyNerd: Weren’t you having an anime marathon?

 

I’mGod: Yes, but Eren had to go pee. He was trying to hold it, but he decided not to pee on himself.

 

NerdyNerd: Oh.

 

MyLittleBrony: Has anyone noticed that the longer you wait to pee, the longer you pee?

 

I’mGod: I noticed that when I had five minutes to get to a class that was all

I’mGod: the way on the other side of the building when I was still peeing.

 

Captain: …..Jesus, this group chat is f*cking weird.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I know, it’s why I made the group chat in the first place.

 

I’mGod: Eren! Get your a** back here so we can unpause the episode!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Coming!

 

MyLittleBronY: Why did I hear a scream from the living room?

 

StupidBeanBurrito: That was me. We’re watching Dr. Pol and watched a

StupidBeanBurrito: goat give birth and Sasha decided to throw her food

StupidBeanBurrito: when a…. gross scene came on.

 

MyLittleBrony: Ew, yeah, I can understand that. Don’t know why they show

MyLittleBrony: that sh*t on T.V.

 

BertleTheTurtle: Reiner, want to come play football?

 

RedNosedReiner: F*CK YES!

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Yes sound like you’re about to get laid.

 

MyLittleBrony: Well...I mean...he probably is.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: …..yeah, you’re right. So, what do we do now?

 

MyLittleBrony: I dunno. We could play video games if you all are done with the T.V.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: M’kay.

 

MyLittleBrony: You just reminded me of that person from South Park.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Oh my God, yeah!

 

MyLittleBrony: Alright, let's go play video games now.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Okay.  



Chapter Text

MovesLikeJaeger: Do you all remember watching Rise Of The Guardians?

 

I’mGod: H*ll yeah! Favorite DreamWorks movie!

 

MyLittleBrony: I remember all the “fans” shipping Jack Frost and Elsa together, why?

 

I’mGod: ^ God no. Just because they both have ice powers  doesn’t mean they were meant for each other!

 

StupidBeanBurrito: I remember Russian Santa and Australian Easter Bunny.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: His real name is E. Aster Bunnymund.

 

I’mGod: What does the E. mean anyway?

 

PleaseBeKind: Easter?

 

RedNosedReiner: So his name is Easter Aster Bunnymund.

 

PleaseBeKind: He’s the Easter Bunny and the Guardian Of Hope….

 

MovesLikeJaeger: As far as I know, DreamWorks didn’t reveal the meaning so it’s a free for all.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Anyway, guess what year Rise Of The Guardians came out.

 

PleaseBeKind: 2016?

 

MyLittleBrony: 2017?

 

I’mGod: No you digusses! It came out in 2012!

 

MyLittleBrony: My God, that’s 6 years! I remember watching it like it was yesterday!

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Could’ve sworn it came out in 2016….

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Zootopia came out in 2016.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Wait, what!?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Yeah, and Frozen came out in 2013.

 

RedNosedReiner: How in the f*cking world?!!?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Trolls came out in 2016, Home came out in 2015, and The Croods came out in 2013.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: The Croods came out in 2013!?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: The first How To Train Your Dragon came out in 2010, and the first Shrek came out in 2001.

 

I’mGod: Oh my God, it’s been 7 years since the first Shrek and 8 since the first How To Train Your Dragon.

 

MyLittleBrony: Huh. I feel old now.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: I still can’t believe The Croods came out in 2013…..

 

MyLittleBrony: I still can’t believe how old I feel.

 

TitanLover: You feel old!?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Well, I’m going to go.

 

I’mGod: What was the point of making us feel old?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I was looking at when all the movies came out a felt super old, so I wanted

MovesLikeJaeger: you all to feel the same way. (゜▽゜)

 

MyLittleBrony: Ah, well, thanks .

 

MovesLikeJaeger: So I succeeded?

 

MyLittleBrony: Yes.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و

 

I’mGod: Good to know that you’re happy, but can we go or are you going to say some bullcrap?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: You can go.

 

I’mGod: Alright, bye.

 

MyLittleBrony: (╬ -_-)

 

MovesLikeJaeger: :3

Chapter Text

MovesLikeJaeger: Hey guys, I found us something new to watch!

 

MyLittleBrony: If it’s anything like your anime crap, sorry to tell you this, but I don’t care.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: It is not like my anime, and don’t you ever insult anime again!

 

I’mGod: What is it?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: It’s called Camp Camp, but the real name is Camp Campbell.

 

FreckledJesus: So...what’re we going to do?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: React to it in the groupchat of course! Like what we did with The Growing Pains of Harry Potter!

 

MyLittleBrony: Oh. Yeah, I can do that.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Connie, Sasha, Armin, Reiner, and Bertolt, you better react!

 

RedNosedReiner: Why didn’t you mention Levi, Hanji, Erwin, Annie, or Mikasa?!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Annie doesn’t respond, Mikasa left her phone in her dorm, Levi doesn’t care,

MovesLikeJaeger: Hanji is with her science club, and Erwin is off with his dad.

 

MyLittleBrony: Ah. Alright, what’s the link?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: You don’t need the link! Just search up Camp Camp on YouTube!

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Which one do you want us to click?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Episode 1. It should be on the channel Rooster Teeth.

 

RedNosedReiner: Got it!

 

MyLittleBrony: So do I.

 

NerdyNerd: *Thumbs up*

 

I’mGod: Let's go!

 

PotatoGirl: Marco and I have it!

 

BertleTheTurtle: I’m good.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Okay. 1…

MovesLikeJaeger: 2…

MovesLikeJaeger: 3. Click!

 

StupidBeanBurrito: What’s “RTX 2016”?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I dunno. Plus it’s been two years since this video was posted.

 

FreckledJesus: Was it necessary to have that many people?

 

MovesLIkeJaeger: Is it necessary to have a lot of people at Vidcon?

 

FreckledJesus: I feel bad for that rabbit….

 

I’mGod: I swear to God if this is another unoriginal camp cartoon….

 

MyLittleBrony: I can already tell this guy is way to happy.

 

MovesLikeJaeger OH MY GOD!

 

I’mGod: “Camp is where kids are sent because parents don’t want to deal with them. Why do

I’mGod: think we return the favor when they hit 70?”.

 

RedNosedReiner: That kid is s a v a g e.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: His name’s Max!

 

PotatoGirl: Max’s eyes are blue/green like Eren!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: He does have very pretty eyes…

 

I’mGod: Welp, I didn’t expect the 10 year old to cuss.

 

NerdyNerd: I just like how the other guy said “Hey….language.” like it was normal.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: It probably is.

 

MyLittleBrony: Has Max been sent here a lot of times? Because if new campers were coming,

MyLittleBrony: wouldn’t Max also be riding the bus?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Maybe, and maybe he got there early.

 

MyLittleBrony: “I refuse to believe that someone has happy has you could possibly exist.” Me too.

 

RedNosedReiner: Oh, that had to hurt!

 

NerdyNerd: No duh, he was hit by a BUS.

 

I’mGod: First it was Max’s eyes, then it was Nikki’s hair, then it was Neil’s hair, and then it was

I’mGod: Quartermaster's hook hand. Camp Campbell isn’t normal.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: You think? Nikki just bit the dude!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: it was “showing dominance” or something.

 

FreckledJesus: Huh. So Nikki signed up for Adventure camp and Neil signed up for Science.

 

MyLittleBrony: What camp did Max’s parents sign him up for?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Maybe they don’t care and the show’s avoiding it because of that.

 

I’mGod: “Campman”? He could come up with better insults.

 

MyLittleBrony: Doesn’t that remind you of Hitler? You know, the way the guy salutes?

 

I’mGod: O H  M Y G O D I T  D O E S !

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Max looks like he’s heard this a thousand times.

 

FreckledJesus: Well...nice introduction Gwen.

 

MyLittleBrony: You know that boy in front of the fat kid with hazel eyes? He looks super gay.

 

MovesLikeJaeger:.....those are not hazel.

 

RedNosedReiner: “Nerf”. Are you kidding me? Like the toy gun?

 

PotatoGirl: Oh, I like Gwen’s eyes!

 

RedNosedReiner: “Astronauts, the wanna be jocks of the scientific community? Please.”

 

FreckledJesus: He turned all sassy when he said it too!

 

NerdyNerd: How is that laserdisc supposed to fit in that tiny DVD player?

MovesLikeJaeger: #CartoonLogic

 

I’mGod: How did he not hear the ladder open?!

 

MyLittleBrony: It’s funny that Gwen and Campbell are keeping it from him.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: What’s the guy’s name? The one that was in the beginning?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: From what I can understand, his name is David.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Okay. Well, David got way too excited when he noticed Campbell….

 

I’mGod: D A V I D   I S   S O   S T U P I D.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: “Hey, good for you, you’re starting to catch on!”...I love this kid.

 

MyLittleBrony:.....Noone saw the Natzi symble on art kid’s painting?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I saw it.

 

NerdyNerd: How did he knit that and still have time to run away?

 

MyLittleBrony: How did nobody notice Max leaving?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: “You are the bane of my existence.” This is a mood.

 

NerdyNerd: That is the worst science camp I’ve ever seen.

 

I’mGod: Another 10 year old cursing.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Guys! Max’s eye color is Mountain Meadow!

 

PotatoGirl: Thank you!

 

I’mGod: Oh my God, Nikki! “Where?”.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Gwen is just going to go insane one day.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: “OHHHHH~ There's a place I know that's tucked away; A place where you

StupidBeanBurrito: and I can stay, where we can go to laugh and play, and have adventures everyday!”

 

MyLittleBrony: Max did it again!

 

NerdyNerd: How does he sew that fast!?

 

I’mGod: The only thing the Quartermaster says is “No runnin’.”.

 

RedNosedReiner: They managed to get on the bus but they got caught by the police.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: What did you expect?

 

MyLittleBrony: Max just really hates Camp Campbell, doesn’t he?

 

FreckledJesus: David made a mistake!

 

MyLittleBrony: And yet, he’s still happy.

 

RedNosedReiner: How is David not dead yet? He got hit by a bus, tripped, and then got beaten

RedNosedReiner: up with his own guitar.

 

PotatoGirl: I wanna know why Nikki has band aids on her face….

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Well, that was Camp Camp! If you guys want to watch more, you can click

MovesLikeJaeger: here !

 

Chapter Text

MovesLikeJaeger: HALLOWEEN TIME IS NEAR!

 

Nightwing: Eren, it is 9:16 in the morning, go to sleep.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: NEVER! I have to plan out all of our Halloween costumes!

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Why can’t we plan our own costumes?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Are you kidding me!? After last year!?

 

Commander: What happened last year?

 

I’mGod: I forgot you weren’t with us last year…..

 

I’mGod: Anyway, Connie begged to be allowed to get his own costume.

I’mGod: Eren finally agreed, as long he didn’t dress up as food.

 

MyLittleBrony: Connie hadn’t let anyway see his costume before October 31st.

 

RedNosedReiner: We were planning on going to a party, like usual. We

RedNosedReiner: were waiting for Connie to come out of the dorm.

 

I’mGod: And when he shows up, Connie was in a freaking cardboard box

I’mGod: that was painted onto look like a T.V. screen with a Mario game

I’mGod: on it. He even had a badly done controller.

 

MyLittleBrony: It didn’t look good either. The paint looked ugly and Connie

MyLittleBrony: NOT draw, so no one recognised Mario.

 

BertleTheTurtle: Eren made Connie stay in the doom all night, and forced

BertleTheTurtle: him to look at his “costume”.

 

Commander: Wow. Just wow.

 

TitanLover: Why don’t we ever do stuff like this?

 

Captain: Because we don’t have a lot of friends. Before these brats came

Captain: along, we were only a group of three.

 

TitaLover: :’(

 

FreckledJesus: What’s everyone being for Halloween?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: You’re being a puppy, Jean’s being a dog,

MovesLikeJaeger: Reiner’s being a wrestler, Bertolt is being a Turtle,

MovesLikeJaeger: Krista’s being an angel, Ymir a soldier, Connie a

MovesLikeJaeger: farmer, Sasha a potato, Annie and Mikasa aren’t

MovesLikeJaeger: joining in, Armin’s a scientist, and Levi’s a vampire.

 

TitanLover: What’re you going to be?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: A succubus.

 

TitanLover: Oooh, Levi’s going to have fun with that!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Technically an Incubus, the male counterpart, but I’m

MovesLikeJaeger: not going after sleeping women.

 

Captain: Better not be.

 

TitanLover: I can imagine it now! A fanfic about Levi the Vampire and Eren the succubus!

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Nooooooooooooo! I don’t need to hear that again!

 

TitanLover: :)

 

I’mGod: All fanfics aside, how do you plan to get the money for the costumes?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: By asking a dear Daddy of mine :).

 

RedNosedReiner: Levi?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: What!? No, I meant my real dad, Grisha!

 

RedNosedReiner: That makes a lot more sense.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I still <3 you Levi!!!

 

MyLittleBrony: Hate to burst your bubble, but I don’t think Grisha’s going to
MyLittleBrony: give you that much money after that party we through as
MyLittleBrony: Juniors/a Sophomore.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I might as well try! If he refuses, I’ll ask mama!

 

NerdyNerd: Or you could get a job yourself?....

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Please, all these jobs are boring! Plus I have to plan my

MovesLikeJaeger: trip to Wonderland!

 

NerdyNerd: O…..kay.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Wait, why am I a farmer!?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Because Sasha’s a potato, shut up!

 

Nightwing: Eren, go to bed!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Alright, alright!

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Still don’t want to be a farmer….

 

I’mGod: I have a feeling that Sasha’s going to try to eat her costume anyway.

 

Chapter Text

MovesLikeJaeger: I think I'll have my Halloween candy for another year.

I'mGod: Me too.

StupidBeanBurrito: Sasha already ate most of hers.

PotatoGirl: I love candy!!!

TitanLover: Most of mine’s gone too.

Captain: I expected your candy to be gone in a week.

Commander: I expected it to be gone in two weeks.

PotatoGirl: What kind of candy did you all get?

I'mGod: I mostly got Hershey's. I also found some Skittles too.

TitanLover: I mostly got Skittles!

MovesLikeJaeger: I got a lot of Starburst and Jolly Ranchers!

TitanLover: I love Jolly Ranchers!

MyLittleBrony: Ooh, what's your favorite candy?

MovesLikeJaeger: Aw man! Um...I guess Jolly Ranchers.

PotatoGirl: I love Airheads!

TitanLover: Hm...Butterscotch!

StupidBeanBurrito: Skittles.

Captain: I don't really like any sweets.

Commander: Sour candy.

MovesLikeJaeger: Chocolates, really.

MyLittleBrony: I remember when Connie left a chocolate bar in his backpack for half a year and it completely ruined his backpack.

StupidBeanBurrito: I had to throw away the backpack! It was my favorite one too!

MovesLikeJaeger: I still have a picture of that!

StupidBeanBurrito: What?! Dude, it's been, like, 5 years since that happened!

TitanLover: Show us!

MovesLikeJaeger: [Picture of a blue backpack pocket covered in melted chocolate and the chocolate wrapper.]

I'mGod: I would hate to clean that mess up.

Captain: Ew. This is why you carry the things that could melt.

TitanLover: No!!!! All that wasted chocolate. :’<

Captain: Hanji, it's not a big deal. That chocolate probably costed $1.50.

TitanLover: The cost doesn’t matter! It's still chocolate!

Captain: I will never understand why people like things that make them have cavities.

MovesLikeJaeger: Because it tastes good!

Captain: Your a** tastes good but I wouldn't eat it like most people. Besides, candy is the main reason kids get kidnapped.

PotatoGirl: That's not the main reason!

TitanLover: Did you all know that each year, nearly 800,000 kids are reported missing?

MyLittleBrony:....why would we need to know that?

StupidBeanBurrito: That's kind of terrifying….

TitanLover: It's sad as that that many kids are reported missing, but that was an interesting science experiment!

StupidBeanBurrito: Can we talk about something else now?....

I'mGod: How did this turn to candy to kidnappings?

TitanLover: It’s Levi’s fault!

Captain:......

I'mGod: Right…

MoveslikeJaeger: I bet that all of Sasha’s candy is gone now!

PotatoGirl: It is :(.

StupidBeanBurrito: You can always buy more.

I'mGod: With what money?

StupidBeanBurrito:......she can always ask her father for money. I'm sure he'd say yes if the money was for food.

Captain: Bad idea. Ask your other friends for money before your parents.

PotatoGirl: Sure! How much should I ask for?

Captain: $20.00 should do you good. They might offer more.

PotatoGirl: Okay!

TitanLover: Another interesting fact is that it took for than a million years to defeat the Titans!

MyLittleBrony: Where are you getting these from?!

TitanLover: I’m doing a history paper on live when the Titans were still around!

StupidBeanBurrito: Okay..

MovesLikeJaeger: You know this whole conversation adds up too 494 words?

StupidBeanBurrito: Did you just count all the words?!

MovesLikeJaeger: No! I just clicked the ‘Word Count’ button.

StupidBeanBurrito: Oh, okay!

I'mGod: Oh my God, Connie...

Captain: Alright losers, bedtime.

MovesLikeJaeger: Fine….

Chapter Text

MovesLikeJaeger: I just realized how horrible I am at keeping an updating schedule :).

 

StupidBeanBurrito: You have an updating schedule?...

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Yes, every Monday and Friday.

 

TitanLover: So far you seem to be doing good!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I haven’t updated in 3 months.

 

TitanLover: ….

 

TitanLover: G.G, Eren.

 

MyLittleBrony: Who want to play Overwatch with me?

 

I’mGod: I’ll play.

 

RedNosedReiner: I will too!

 

MyLittleBrony: Maybe I’ll be Tracer?

 

RedNosedReiner: I’m already Tracer.

 

MyLittleBrony: What about Widowmaker?

 

I’mGod: I’m already Widowmaker.

 

MyLittleBrony: I’ll be Bastion.

 

RedNosedReiner: NERF BASTION!

 

MyLittleBrony: You’re right. So, Winston.

 

I’mGod: I wanna be Winston.

 

MyLittleBrony: Well then, I’ll pick Genji.

 

RedNosedReiner: I’m already Genji.

 

MyLittleBrony: Then I’ll pick McCree.

 

I’mGod: I already choose McCree.

 

MyLittleBrony: I have an idea.

 

RedNosedReiner: What’s your idea?

 

MyLittleBrony: You should be-

 

I’mGod: I’m not going to be Mercy.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: You three planed this, didn’t you?

 

MyLittleBrony: Maybe ;).

 

FreckledJesus: I...don’t understand what’s going on?...

 

MovesLikeJaeger: It’s a meme. A meme that started from this song:

MovesLikeJaeger: [YouTube link.]

 

FreckledJesus: Oh.

 

SupidBeanBurrito: Yes, it’s a meme thaT’S DEAD, STOP IT.

 

TitanLover: Never :).

 

Commander: I’ve never played Overwatch or Fortnite.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Good, they’re GAMES OF CANCER.

 

MyLittleBrony: Playing them will give you a certain type of Cancer-

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Cringe cancer!

 

TitainLover: Oh no!

 

Captain: Hanji, it’s fake. They made it up.

 

TitanLover: It could be real! You never know with cancer!

 

Captain: Whatever, just don’t bother me with your theories.

 

TitanLover: No promises!

 

Captain: Ugh, great.

 

Captain: See what monster you made Eren? Good, because you’re dealing with it.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: What!? No I’m not!

 

Captain: You will, and you will like it!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: No!

 

Captain: ….

 

MovesLikeJaeger: …

 

Captain: …..

 

MovesLikeJaeger: ….fine.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Holy sh*t.

 

FreckledJesus: What did I just witness?

 

I’mGod: A whole lot of Gay and dominance.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: O...kay then…

 

Nightwing: On to class everyone.

 

PotatoGirl: Do I have to?

 

Nightwing: Yes.

 

PotatoGirl: >:(





Chapter Text

MovesLikeJaeger: Hey Krista, guess what!

 

PleaseBeKind: What?

 

MovesLikeJaeger has turned Profanity setting OFF .

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Surprise Bitch!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Now I can say whatever the fuck I want!

 

PleaseBeKind: No!!!!

 

PleaseBeKind’s access denied .

 

PleaseBeKind’s access denied .

 

PleaseBeKind’s access denied .

 

PleaseBeKind’s access denied .

 

PleaseBeKind: Wwwwhhhhyyyyyyyyyyy!

 

RedNosedReiner: Fuck yes!

 

I’mGod: Finally! That took a long ass time for you to do, Eren!

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Now I won’t have to look through the ‘*’ to figure a cuss word out!

 

PleaseBeKind: Nooooooo, it was supposed to get you to cuss less!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Didn’t fucking work :).

 

PleaseBeKind: Clearly!

 

Captain: Fucking finally.

 

TitanLover: Yay!

 

PotatoGirl: Why is the thing denying Krista’s access though?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: There’s this thing in the settings that only I could see

MovesLikeJaeger: since I created the group chat.

 

PotatoGirl: Oh.

 

PotatoGirl: About that, why did you make a group chat again?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I said it’s ‘ because I wanted to talk to you all without you

 

MovesLikeJaeger: having to be in the room.’ and everyone knows the

 

MovesLikeJaeger: embarrassing stories and secrets come out in a group chat.’

 

RedNosedReiner: How the fuck did you find that so fast?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: I went through the chapters of course!

 

NerdyNerd: Chapters?...as in your novel?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Yeah, you could say that.

 

PleaseBeKind’s access denied .

 

PleaseBeKind’s access denied .

 

PleaseBeKind’s access denied .

 

PleaseBeKind’s access denied .

 

PleaseBeKind’s access denied .

 

I’mGod: Krista, stop.

 

PleaseBeKind: Noooo, I have to fix it!

 

I’mGod: No you don’t.

 

PleaseBeKind: You all don’t need to cuss as much as you do!

 

I’mGod: And?

 

PleaseBeKind: (ToT)

 

I’mGod: Krista, we are in college!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Well yeah, you’d think the title “Our College Adventures” would point that out.

 

I’mGod: What?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Hm?

 

I’mGod: Anyway, most of us are old enough to drink. You shouldn’t be worried about cussing.

 

PleaseBeKind: (☍﹏⁰)

 

RedNosedReiner: Yeah! It could be a lot worse!

 

Captain Yeah, like you could hear what Eren says when we’re having sex.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Levi!!!!

 

PleaseBeKind: (•゚д゚•)

 

MovesLikeJaeger: (; ̄ー ̄川

 

PleaseBeKind: (*^◇^)_旦

 

MovesLikeJaeger: 且_(゚◇゚;)ノ

 

MovesLikeJaeger: d(>_< ) ?

 

PleaseBeKind: (* ̄▽ ̄)d !

Chapter Text

Eren could not fucking believe what he was seeing. His friends were basically leaving him. When they first became friends, he knew they were leaving at some point, you have to lose contact with friends from middle and high school. But when they survived the summer and beginning of college, he actually thought that they would last forever. He knew friends didn’t last forever, but as tears filled his eyes and anger filled his body, he was ashamed that he was weak enough to think that anyone would still be friends with him as life went on.


 

MovesLikeJaeger: What do you fucking mean you all are moving?!

 

PotatoGirl: Not for long! Just until Connie and I can make enough money!

 

StupidBeanBurrito: Yeah, we’ll be back before you know it!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: That could take years! Shingeki cost $40,890 to go to!

 

PotatoGirl: Don’t worry Eren! The others will be here!

 

I’mGod: Well…

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Oh my fucking God!

 

I’mGod: It’s just until Krista and I can discourage our parents from moving us.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: There’s a 50/50 chance you’ll succeed!

 

PleaseBeKind: But that just means we could actually discourage them!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: And what are the chances of that happened?!

MovesLikeJaeger: Most of the time bad shit happens!

 

PleaseBeKind: Just look on the brighter side!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: You know I’m not positive!

 

RedNosedReiner: Speaking of moving colleges….

RedNosedReiner: Me and Bertolt are going to California for a better sports college…

 

MovesLikeJaeger: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?

MovesLikeJaeger: Are all my friends just fucking leaving me!?

 

NerdyNerd: We’re no leaving you!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: What do you mean “We”?!

 

Commander: Uh oh…

 

NerdyNerd: Um...Erwin and I are going to a college in Oregon.

NerdyNerd: They have a better math and business course…

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Wow. Just wow.

 

Nightwing: Eren..there’s something I should tell you.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Okay, and?

 

Nightwing: In private?

 

BertleTheTurtle: ….

 

RedNosedReiner: How do you think he’ll react?

 

Captain: Well, he just learned most of his friends are leaving him for colleges

Captain: across the state and he’ll be learning his dear sister and another friend is leaving him too.

 

StupidBeanBurrito: So...he’ll react badly?

 

Commander: He’ll be pissed.

 

 

MovesLikeJaeger: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

 

MovesLikeJaeger: MY SISTER IS LEAVING ME TOO?!

 

Nightwing: Eren…

 

MovesLikeJaeger: No only that, but Annie is too! And for what?

 

MovesLikeJaeger: “We’ve decided to change your majors. Shingeki doesn’t

MovesLikeJaeger: have the courses we need, so we’re moving to Texas.”.

 

FreckledJesus: Oh wow….

 

MovesLikeJaeger: Not only that, but they won’t even tell me what they changed their majors to!

 

FreckledJesus: Jean...are you going to tell him?

 

MyLittleBrony: I guess I’ll have to.

 

MyLittleBrony: Jaeger…our families are moving to Georgia and we decided to go with them.

 

FreckledJesus: My mom is too sick to move and Jean’s mother can’t afford the pace they’re staying at currently…

 

MovesLikeJaeger: ….

 

TitanLover: While we’re confessing...I’m moving to Harvard in Massachusetts.

 

TitanLover: Harvard just has better courses and experiences for a science major!

 

MovesLikeJaeger:....

Commander: Levi?..

 

Captain: Shit…

 

Captain: Hey brat...I’m moving too. My mother’s mental health isn’t doing too good.

 

Captain: I’ll just be three hours away from Shingeki. All of us could still use the group chat to talk.

 

MovesLikeJaeger: It won’t be the same as seeing you all everyday!

MovesLikeJaeger: I honestly thought you all were my friends!

 

Captain: Eren, honey..

 

MovesLikeJaeger has muted the group chat.

 

MovesLikeJaeger has logged out of the group chat.