So I started writing this when I first heard Mamma Mia 2 was coming out and I went back to watch the first movie. The whole movie I kept thinking of ways I could adapt it to Spock/Jim. Now here we are. The story isn't going to follow the movie exactly but it is similar. Anyway, enjoy!
“David, is this really a good idea? “, Joanna asked as her friend opened the old journal
“What if your Dad gets mad? It is his diary, right?” Joanna McCoy has been friends with David Kirk her whole life, their Dads were best friends so it only made sense they were too. Joanna’s mom died when she was two, so she went to live with her Dad, Dr. Leonard McCoy. They live on a small island in Greece called Skopelos where every day they have to ride a boat to school.
“Old diary, Joanna and besides he won’t even know” David grinned, at nine years old; he was already as devilish as his father, Jim Kirk. He had his father’s bright blue eyes but his ears were pointed, and he had curly black hair They knew David’s dad was a Vulcan but all that Uncle Jim would say was David’s father couldn’t be around, he would always look so sad after that.
“Fine but if we get caught I’m blaming it all on you” Joanna stated firmly before settling in next to her friend as he opened the journal. It was a Starfleet issued blue notebook with headers of Captain’s Log and Stardate at the top of each page. On the cover of the book was the Starfleet logo in gold against the blue back, when he opened it a couple of old Polaroid pictures fell out, some of them were of Jim and Bones or of Bones looking grumpily at the camera or Scotty with a bottle of whisky in his hand but most of them were of a Vulcan. There were pictures of the Vulcan from across a 3D chessboard with a neutral expression on his face or of the Vulcan focused in on a microscope, lots of the pictures were of Jim smiling brightly while the Vulcan remained stoic.
I’m riding on the shuttle back to Starfleet from the summer, visiting Bones was fun and Joanna is still super cute. Although it is going to be weird without Bones as my roommate. Without Bones, I doubt I’ll be able to keep a regular sleeping pattern
There is a Vulcan on this shuttle to San Francisco... A really hot Vulcan actually. So this shuttle ride just got a hell of a lot more interesting.
Update: His name is Spock and I think I may be in love. He is so adorable and perfect; I just want to mess up his perfect hair. Or touch his ears
Update Part 2: He is a Professor and I am a cadet. I will be reading the Starfleet rulebook tonight.
Update part 3: As long as he isn’t my professor then we are in the clear.
With Bones back home with Jonna and leaving me without a roommate, I was randomly assigned one which isn't so bad. As Captain, I must be able to adapt to any condition and make nice with anyone. I figured it will be good practice but turns out I do not have to use my charming skills because my new roommate Scotty is awesome. Bones drinking abilities don’t hold a candle to Scottys…
I also took it upon myself to ask around about the Vulcan professor, it turns out he is the professor, I heard about last year that failed half his class. Everyone has said he has no emotions but I highly doubt that. I want to know some more…
Making a Vulcan blush is hard work. Convincing Spock to go out with me is like nailing Jello to a tree but I’m nothing if not determined.
Update: We are going out for Tea on Friday
So, I just got back from my date with Spock, I never thought I would enjoy drinking tea so much. We were there until closing, just talking about anything and everything. I don’t care what anyone says, Vulcan’s make jokes or Spock does and pretends he doesn’t.
What a night!
Spock and I went to a little vegetarian restaurant before walking down to the beach. We kissed on the beach, we stargazed on the beach and did some other fun stuff on the beach…
PS: Sand fucking sucks
I don’t care what they say, he isn’t a robot. He is a god damn love machine. The way he holds me makes me feel dizzy. The good dizzy. Oh ew, now I sound like a teenage girl. I am twenty years old but I feel like I’m seventeen again. It is just the way he kisses goodnight… with uncertainty at first and then with an overwhelming passion. It is like we were meant for each other. I don’t care if I never eat a cheeseburger again, I am just happy to be with Spock. He is so smart and we can play chess all night not even realizing the time. My favorite is when we play strip chess. I am happy to report that I win 60.13% of the time according to Spock's calculation and frustration.
Stardate: I kinda maybe am freaking out
Oh shit, I am in love with Spock…
I told Spock I loved him today... it went well, like REALLY well. Touch telepathy is literally the best thing that ever happened in this universe. I love Aliens. I love Spock. I feel like I wanna sing when he does his…”
“Oh wow that is descriptive” David grimaced as he skipped to the next entry
Stardate: Spock sucks
Spock is fucking leaving. He has a wife and is getting bonded in a month. Spock knew that he was getting married and he had the audacity to spend this past year with me, making me fall deeper and deeper in love. Did he even love me?
I feel like I’m dying which is so stupid because I have been dying before but this is worse. This feeling is worse than Tarsus. On Tarsus I could hate the men that did those things, I could hate Kodos, I could hate Frank but I can’t hate Spock. I thought he loved me but I was clearly wrong. Everyone leaves in the end. I don’t know why I thought he was different.
Stardate: I’m fucked
I’m fucking pregnant and Spock won’t answer any of my transmissions. Fuck.
David lowered the book with a frown, turning towards Joanna “So that’s why Dad never talks about him”
“I’m sorry David,” Joanna says softly, placing her hand on his shoulder and he shook his head as if to clear his thoughts before he picked up a picture of the Vulcan, now known as Spock, staring at the camera with a raised eyebrow. A myriad of emotions passed through him, anger at the man who broke his Dad’s heart and curiosity of the same man who was his father. Finally logic and curiosity won the inner battle.
“I’m going to write him” David stated, determination setting in his features.
“Um... I don’t think that-“
“No no it is! I will write to Spock and I can get the full story!” David said excitedly “Maybe it was all a big misunderstanding like in one of those books my Dad reads”
“How are you even going to find him?” Joanna asked and David took a moment to think before grinning
“Uncle Scotty will know!” David grabbed his friend's hand and hauled her off to find the engineer.
Jim sighed as he finished patching the hole in the wall for the millionth time it felt like. After Jim got pregnant with David, he had to drop out of Starfleet because no kids were allowed on a starship and Jim wasn’t exactly rolling in money. So Jim finished up his semester, sold his old farmhouse in Iowa and flew out to Greece. On Tarsus IV, the aunt he was living with had bought an inn on Skopelos in Greece with plans to retire there and when she died it was given to him. The structures were old and needed lots of TLC but it was a worthy challenge for a farm boy who had nothing. No money, no family and no idea what the hell he was doing.
So he called his only friend Doctor Leonard McCoy for help. Bones and he were roommates during Jim’s freshman year at Starfleet but when Bones’ ex-wife died and left the kid motherless, McCoy dropped out to take care of his daughter. Jim can still remember that phone call in vivid detail
“Hey, kiddo. What’s up?”
“I need your help,” Jim said shakily, in the way Bones knew meant he had been crying or having a panic attack
“Are you okay? What did you do?”
“It’s Spocks… and he won’t answer any of my transmissions”
“That green-blooded hobgoblin! I’ll kill him! He thinks he can knock my best-”
“Bones… I’m scared”
“It’s alright Jimmy. We will figure it out”
Shortly after that Jim and Bones moved to Greece, to start a whole new life. On this little island, they fixed up piece by piece and started the inn up again. Then Scotty, their friend from the academy, was kicked out of the fleet for losing Admiral Archer's beagle and Scotty joined them, helping them update the inn to be ‘apart of this century’. Scotty eventually got engaged to a woman named, Nyota Uhura, who was a Starfleet communications officer. She would stop by as much as she could and Scotty always pushed her to achieve her career goals. The little island became a home soon enough, they made more and more friends as time went. The island villa was now a fully functioning hotel, very popular for honeymoons and maintained a balance between extremely old and very high tech. Jim and Scotty spent thousands of late nights improving the systems.
Bones worked as the Doctor for the islands, Hikaru Sulu joined their family two years ago as the island botanist and friendly pilot. He ran fencing classes for the tourist as well as a navigation guide. Hikaru and his husband Ben moved to the island after they adopted their daughter, Demora. Hikaru was a helmsman for Starfleet but when it started tearing his family apart, he realized he wanted to watch his daughter grow up himself and not through holos. Of course, that didn’t mean they wouldn’t take vacations in space. So Jim offered him a place on the island which they readily accepted. Ben was a teacher at the local schools so it worked out pretty well in the end.
The last addition to their little family was Chekov; he was a 17-year-old kid who was shadowing Scotty. Even though Scotty was kicked out of Starfleet he was still an awesome engineer and everyone in his field had to respect for him. Scotty still did research on the island and that is what lead Pavel Chekov there. The boy was smart, very smart and he was eager to learn but Starfleet was reluctant to put him on a starship until he was legal so that is why he was here, for now.
The island was abuzz with excitement and preparation for Nyota and Scotty’s wedding. Jim was planning a big party for his friends and as awesome as he knew this party was going to be, running an inn and planning a wedding wasn’t exactly fun. Uhura loved the island so much that she had wanted the wedding there and Jim being the awesome friend that he was decided to go all out. He was housing all the guests and having the reception at the villa. Uhura was on assignment currently but would be back in a week.
Wedding planning via video chat with Uhura was kinda the worst thing Jim ever had to do but if it made his friends happy then it was worth it.
David was sprinting across the courtyard, dragging poor Joanna behind him. Jim ran up and caught his son before he could run past him “Hey Kiddo where ya going?”, he asked as he hauled his son on his hip.
“Um to see Uncle Scotty” David replied with a grin, his blue eye twinkled with mischief as he stared at his father.
“uh huh and what about may I ask?” Jim inquired, his fingers tickling his son causing the young boy to squeal with laughter as he tried to get away from the attack.
“To send a message to Aunt Uhura” David replied in between breaths and laughter
“You know how to do that” Jim reminded him but stop his assault and set his son back on the ground “Don’t do anything too crazy, got it?”
“Aye Captain” David mock saluted his father before dragging Joanna away again.
“Why are you letting that heathen handle my daughter that way?” Bones groached as he watched the two kids “and why ain't you stopping whatever awful deeds they are up to?”
“Oh come on Bones. Lighten up. They’re kids. Let them be kids. If I smother him then he will hate me” Jim responded with an easy smile in the direction of his friend “Besides I thought you had a patient?”
“Yeah, he’s the idiot letting his kid reign terror upon other children” Bones grumbled back “I came to make sure you had something to eat today”
Jim winced as he started walking towards the main office “Ya know Bones I really don’t have time right now. I’ve got to get the King suit cleaned and ready for the next customers”
“Dammit, Jim! Make time! You can’t keep running around eating only one meal a day!” Bones chased after his younger friend, a grouchy look settling over his features
“The wedding is in a month and I haven’t even gotten the flowers ordered! Plus I have to make sure all of their family has a place to stay” Jim exclaimed “Not to mention I have to make sure the bed frame in the Queen suit gets replaced, the Orions that stayed there broke it”
“How many people did they invite?” Bones asked as he followed Jim through the building “And that still isn’t an excuse to not be eating!”
“A lot like the whole villa is being rented out, a lot” Jim responded as he tapped furiously at the pad he was holding and walked through the building towards the King suite, the work belt tied around his hips. Jim was quite handy. Growing up in an old farmhouse does that to a guy. Jim personally fixed every broken thing in his little villa. Kirk was proud of it, he had spent years fixing the thing up and making it into a successful business. He also personally did all the online advertisements, booking and pictures.
“Dammit Jim” Bones grabbed his arm “You are getting something to eat. The bed frame can wait but your health can’t”
“Fine. Fine.” Jim conceded, finally lowering the pad to give his friend a look of surrender “but you are buying”
“I danno laddie. Is yer Dad okay with this?” Scotty asked the young Kirk and David smiled up at him
“Of course he is! He wanted me to learn more about communications! If I can’t locate someone then how will I ever be a Starfleet officer?” David blinked his big blue eyes at the Scottish man and Scotty sighed in resignation
“Alright Laddie but don’t be using this for anything naughty” Scotty pointed at this pair before motioning them closer to show them how it worked. “All ye have to do is…”
About a half an hour later, David and Joanna left the little engineering building with the knowledge to track down and contact anyone. David grabbed Joanna’s hand yet again and hauled her to his house where a communications terminal was set up. His father allowed him free access so he could talk to his friends from the Learning Vessel he went on a couple months back.
Finally, they found who they were looking for, S’chn T’gai Spock. The only Human-Vulcan hybrid in Starfleet. He fit the bill pretty well, he taught as a professor around the time Jim was a cadet and got married around the time Jim’s journal entries were logged. Now Spock was divorced and working as a Starfleet professor once more. Apparently, this Spock was quite famous on Vulcan and his divorce was huge news.
“What should I say?” David asked, uncertainty tainting his excitement “If he didn’t answer Dad, why would he answer me?”
“Oh! Aunt Nyota was his pupil; invite him to the wedding as if you were her!” Joanna exclaimed, “He can’t say no to that!”
Three Weeks Later
Spock stepped off the small ferry and onto the little island. He remembered this island; Jim had chatted about it and shown him pictures during their time together. Jim wanted to fix it up and lease it out since he wouldn't have time to run a villa as a starship captain. He had always said he wanted to bring Spock here because of Aphrodite’s fountain, according to Greek legend, if you drank from it you would find true love and eternal happiness. The notion was illogical but Jim had thought it romantic.
The warm climate was nice, it wasn’t as hot as Vulcan but it was preferable to the cool climate of his classroom. Spock had moved back to Earth after his divorce from T’Pring, she having an affair with his previous classmate, Stonn. It was illogical to remain in a relationship that had no benefits. Terminating the relationship was the logical choice, not to mention Spock had never stopped yearning for Jim. His soul called out to Jim’s. Spock could still remember the day he told Jim he was leaving…
Spock sat in Jim and Scotty’s apartment with Jim curled up next to him as they watched Planet Earth. Spock knew he had to tell him but an illogical part of him wanted to hold off on it. He did not wish to tell Jim that he was leaving for Vulcan to be bonded to T’Pring, Spock did not wish to be bonded but it was a requirement of his people.
“Hey, something on your mind?” Jim asked from where he was cuddled into Spock’s side “You haven’t been paying attention and you love watching the Savannah”
“We must terminate our romantic relationship”
“What?! Why?” Jim was sitting up now, his eyes wide with shock and confusion. The overwhelming need to comfort Jim and tell him everything would be okay was difficult to repress.
“I am being called back to Vulcan to bond my betrothed T’Pring”
“All Vulcans are bonded at-“
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jim asked the hurt and anger seeping into his voice
“I did not find it relevant”
“Not find it relevant? Not telling your boyfriend you were engaged wasn’t relevant?!” Jim snapped “Was this just a fling to you? Did you even love me?”
“I had not expected to be requested to complete my bonding so soon” Spock responded and now he could see those blue eyes burning with anger and unushered tears
“So that’s it? You were just using me as something to keep you occupied?”
“She is a logical choice of mate” Spock responded evenly, his Vulcan composure immaculate. Jim scoffed at the words and turned away from him, his hands running through his blond hair “I did not intend to engage in a relationship with you”
“So, I’m the mistress then?” Jim asked, his back was turned to Spock but he could tell he was on the verge of tears by the slight shaking of his voice. Only one time had he heard Jim’s voice shake like that, it was when he told him about being on Tarsus IV. He turned back to Spock looking at him with a look Spock could not read “Do you love me? Did you mean it when you said it? Or was that a lie?”
“I apologize for causing- “
“That is not an answer” Jim muttered, his voice was softer than before more controlled as if he was holding back, it stirred something within the Vulcan to know he was the cause of Jim’s pain. Spock remained there watching as he moved to stand by the window and the deep breaths he was taking to calm down. “Just go. Go! Go back to your wife!” Spock did not bother to correct him, Jim had turned around to yell at him the anger had seeped back into his voice but his blue eyes were red from crying and his cheeks were tear stained giving away the sadness he felt. He looked desolate. The Vulcan quietly made his exit, knowing other sympathies would only further upset the human.
Spock was anxious to see Jim again. When the invitation came Spock saw it as a second chance to reconvene with him, even if just as friends.
With that, he started his way up the island to the villa where he would be staying, the villa Jim currently owned.
What Spock did not expect was to see a small Vulcan child greet him at the front desk. The boy had to be around nine or ten Earth years old and was looking down at the pad. “Hello, I am David. Are you here for the bride or the groom?”
“Bride” Spock responded and the boy clicked a button on the PADD, to Spock’s surprise the PADD was in Vulcan as opposed to standard.
“Spock” This caused the boys head to whip up with wide blue eyes and gape for a couple seconds. Spock’s first observation had been wrong, the child was not Vulcan, he clearly had distinct human features such as the blue eyes and human-shaped eyebrows. The most human thing about him was his freedom with his expressions.
“S’chn T’gai Spock?” David said disbelief coloring his voice
“Oh my god okay,” David said as he scrambled a bit before he checked Spock in and grabbed the key “I’ll show you to your room” David led Spock through the villa towards the suite he was assigned
“Are you Vulcan?” Spock inquired, unable to stop himself
“Yeah 1/4” David responded “The only thing I got of my dad was his blue eyes and eyebrows but everything else is Vulcan”
“Who is your Father?” Spock asked he couldn’t stop. His curiosity got the better of him as if this question was going to put something together.
“James T. Kirk” David respond, looking as if he were expecting a certain reaction “He is the owner of the villa”
“Who is your mother?” Spock’s heart accelerated 5.67% for an unknown reason
“My dad carried me”
“What is your age?”
“Nine earth years” David responded before his eyes shifted towards the window where movement caught his eye, it was the flash of blond hair and plaid unmistakable as his dad. “Uh-oh. I gotta go. Um, enjoy your stay! Breakfast is served at 07:00!”
The wedding was 3 days away and people were all arriving in groups. Jim was doing his best to keep both Scotty and Nyota stress-free, by taking care of what they couldn’t. All the rooms were ready for the guests and everything was in place.
Everything was going according to plan until he saw him. Spock was here, standing not three feet away from him. Fucking Spock that he hadn’t seen in almost ten years was standing in front of him.
Well not right in front of him seeing as Jim was hanging from the roof to fix the broken windowsill on the second floor which happened to be where Spock was.
“Oh fuck” Jim breathed his eyes scanning over the Vulcan, a couple of things ran through his mind, Spock was still incredibly hot but also Jim still loved him. In truth, he had never gotten over Spock, he couldn’t even count all the times he had cried over him or all the moments he had wished Spock was there to see David grow. When he found out he was pregnant, he never even looked at another person. Everything was David. He quickly pulled himself back on the roof and preceded to wonder why the universe hated him.
Okay, so Spock was here. That’s fine… or not. Why was Spock here? Why was here now after ten years? Did he finally answer his messages? Did David know who he was? Was he here for the wedding? No Nyota showed him the guest list… maybe Jim didn't notice it. Was he on the list?
Jim whipped out his pad and scanned through the list and yup, Spock was on the guest list. How did he not see that? Why wouldn’t Scotty or Nyota mention it?
“This is so stupid” Jim muttered, taking a deep breath calming himself. After his initial panic, all the other emotions hit him. For one, how much he missed him all these years and yeah now he was leaning over the roof to get a better look at him. Spock sat by the table in the corner seemingly lost in thought, Jim remembered Spock would get like this when he was trying to figure something out.
He couldn't help the rush of affection for the Vulcan. Just one look and he would march away and forgot this ever happened. In theory that was a great plan but leaning over the edge of the roof and finally looking at Spock reminded him that Jim would never be able to move on. He was busy looking at Spock, Jim didn’t notice that his hand was slipping and zoom he was falling face first to the ground, only his fast reflexes allowed him to catch the windowsill, the same windowsill he had just fixed.
“Shit” Jim muttered and prayed to whatever was out there that Spock had not heard him but of course he is Jim Kirk and Spock did hear him. The Vulcan opened the window and poked his head out to look at him.
“Oh, hey Spock. Don’t mind me. I was just repairing the windowsill…” Jim trailed off as Spock wrapped his fingers around Jim’s wrists and pulled him through the window. Oh yeah, he had never forgotten the superior Vulcan strength because of many memorial occasions but to be reminded at a time like this was just rude. “Thanks”
“Jim,” Spock said softly his brown eyes scanning over the blond causing Jim to swallow and shift under his gaze
“Are you here for the wedding?” Jim asked to fill the silence that had stretched between them
“Affirmative” Spock responded “Your son, David-”
“You met David? When?”
“He escorted me to my room. David- “
“Did you get my messages?” Jim interrupted, already knowing what the Vulcan was going to ask because how couldn't have he? Just one look at their son would indicate whose kid it was.
“Affirmative but I have not read them”
“Read them,” Jim said before leaving the room, trying not to run as fast as he could because right now all those emotions came crashing back. The sadness, the loneliness, the longing, the anger, all of it. Before he knew where he was going Jim found himself in Bones office.
“Where’s David?” Jim asked semi in a panic. He had to find David and prevent his son from meeting Spock…again.
Upon seeing his best friend Bones knew something was wrong “What’s wrong?”
Jim shook his head and just broke down. Tears falling freely down his cheeks as a full-fledged panic attack set in.
“Jim! Jim? What’s wrong? What happened? Breathe. It’s alright. Shh, you’re alright” Bones comforted, pulling his friend into a hug and sitting them down. Jim just sobbed as he explained what happened and all the emotions he had felt was pouring out of him in buckets. Jim never had time to cry, he never had time to let out how he felt because he had to be strong for David, he had to run the villa and make everyone happy.
Jim felt like he was 20 years old again, finding out he was pregnant and being left behind by the love of his life. The sadness that he felt every day from Spock’s absence was all rushing to the surface and he felt like his very soul was screaming. His soul had always called towards the Vulcan when Spock had left is was he took half of Jim with him.
“Why the hell is that hobgoblin here now?”
“The wedding” Jim mumbled as he pulled away from the doctor to wipe his tears and try to recover from his small lapse in control. “I helped send all the invitations and I knew everyone that was coming… Why Nyota woul-? But she wouldn’t. Not without telling me… Oh my God. I’m so going to kill him”
“What? Who? Jim! JIM! Dammit” Bones shouted after his friend that left just as quickly as he came. Jim marched towards the villa with a stormy expression, set on finding his son because that is the only one person who could have hacked into his PADD besides Chekov and Pavel wouldn’t do that. David was so grounded, beyond grounded. The real question is how did David find out?
Speaking of the devil, his son sat at the front desk where he was checking people in, David was always asking to help and Jim didn’t have time to keep watch over him 24/7 so he allowed him to help out his staff with simple things like minding the front desk or cleaning up. “David”
David’s head shot up to look at him and gave a small smile but through his paternal bond with his dad, he could feel the anger just like he felt distressed earlier, “Hey Dad”
“Come here”, David approached his dad as one would approach a wild animal. Jim led them to his office where he closed the door then crossed his arms, “Why did you hack into my PADD?”
“What do you-”
“This will go a lot easier for you if you tell the truth” Jim interrupted, using his ‘Mom voice’ as Bones called it. David seemed to realize he had been caught
“Well when you brought down all the boxes from the attic when you were looking for something old for Aunt Nyota, I found your old diary and well I read it” David explained, his head hung low in defeat and he fiddled with his shirt “I never knew my Father's name or who he was and I wanted to meet him, I wanted to know who he was and the wedding seemed like the perfect excuse. I’m sorry”
Jim stood there for a couple beats before sighing softly and pulling David into his arms, “I wanted you to meet him too, baby but things are complicated. Nothing is an easy fix. Sometimes the people we love don’t love us back and we have to deal with that. You know that I love you and so does all your Aunts and Uncles.” Jim carded his fingers through his son's hair, sadness and anger stirring within him at how unfair David had it. He wished David could have had both parents and the best education and no issues ever. Jim wanted him to have it all but he could only give him what he was able. “I hope you also know that you're still grounded for lying and hacking into my PADD”
“But…” David started but with one look from Jim he was silenced “That is fair”
Spock stood, staring at the door that Jim had just run out of. He stood there for what seemed like forever before scolding himself on how illogical it was to do so. ‘Read the messages’ is what Jim had told him. Logically there was a simple answer to all the questions Spock currently had racing through his mind but a part of him, an illogical part of him didn't want to face it. Just as he did not wish to tell Jim of his bonding all those years ago. Although he was never one to neglect the search for knowledge.
Shoving all the unwanted emotions back down, he grabbed his PADD then opened the first message Jim had sent to him ten years ago and began to read.
To: S’chn T’gai Spock
From: James T. Kirk
I need to tell you something. Please call me. It's important
To: S’chn T’gai Spock
From: James T. Kirk
Please answer me. I know I said I never wanted to speak to you again but please
To: S’chn T’gai Spock
From: James T. Kirk
I didn’t want to tell you like this but I’m pregnant. I found out a week ago. Please call me. I don't know what to do.
To: S’chn T’gai Spock
From: James T. Kirk
Please answer me.
To: S’chn T’gai Spock
From: James T. Kirk
I’m dropping out of Starfleet. You can’t have kids on starships and I won’t put him through what my mom put me through. They said I could finish the semester but after that, I don’t know what I’m going to do
To: S’chn T’gai Spock
From: James T. Kirk
It’s a boy. Bones did an ultrasound today and it’s a boy. Apparently, Vulcan genes are more dominant than humans so he has copper-based blood. I sent some pictures… I don’t know if you are reading these or not but responding wouldn’t kill you
To: S’chn T’gai Spock
From: James T. Kirk
I’ve come to terms that you don't read these so Fuck you. Fuck you for having a wife. Fuck you for never answering. Fuck you for knocking me up. Fuck you for leaving me to do this alone. Most of all Fuck you for making me love you. The sick part about all of this is I miss you every day and I hate the fact our son will never meet you.
To: S’chn T’gai Spock
From: James T. Kirk
David. That is the name I’ve chosen for our son. I don’t know if you like it but it’s not like you care anyway so. I don’t even know why I’m writing to you. Dumb human emotions and all that. I’m moving to Greece, to the Inn my Aunt left me. Bones and I are going to fix it up and start a hotel there. That way I can have a way to pay bills that don’t take me away from David.
To: S’chn T’gai Spock
From: James T. Kirk
The Inn or villa or hotel whatever is in pretty good condition considering how long it hasn't been in use. Bones and I cleaned most of the main housing out, that is where David and I will live. It’s not big but it’s got two bedrooms and a nice view of the sea. The kitchen and bathrooms all need updating but I’ve got plenty of time on my hands now.
To: S’chn T’gai Spock
From: James T. Kirk
This is the last message I’m going to send. I can’t keep dwelling on you, it’s like waiting for rain in a dessert. I can’t keep thinking you’ll come back and we will be a happy family because you have your own family already. I know you didn’t love me but I thought you would love David. So, this is goodbye. I hope you’re happy wherever you are. I genuinely mean that. Don’t let being a Vulcan stop you from doing what you love. Do what makes you happy. Sometimes a feeling is all we humans have to go on.
Spock set down his PADD with shaky hands, letting what he just read to soak in. The Vulcan took a calming breath before he started to do math equations in his head, he needed to maintain his control, to go about this situation logically. His brain supplied he call his mother, his mother had a child and therefore logically would know what to do. The video call rang three times before Amanda answered.
“Spock what a lovely surprise!” Amanda smiled warmly at her son before her expression shifted to one of concern “Spock what's happened?”
“I have a son” Spock blurted out or blurted out in Vulcan standards but any human would say he stated a simple fact
“I have a son. His name is David”
“Spock, honey, please explain”
“Mother, I am not food substance produced by bees. David is the offspring of James T Kirk and myself”
“Jim? You haven’t seen him in ten years!”
“I impregnated him during the duration of our romantic relationship. He attempted to contact me but I did not read or respond. I thought it illogical, I believe I was in error to do so”
“Wait wait. How do you know he is your son? Why didn’t you open these messages until now? Where are you?”
“I am attending Nyota Uhura and Montgomery Scott’s wedding which is being held in Jim Kirk’s villa” Spock explained the current situation, how he had met David and his encounter with Jim, the whole thing. Afterward, Amanda sat there quietly watching her son with a serious expression as she attempted to figure out her son’s emotions.
“I never thought this is how I would get grandchildren” Amanda joked softly to ease her son's tension
“Yes, I know”, Amanda waved him off, “Well you’ve got yourself quite a situation”
“Indeed. I am uncertain how to proceed” Spock admitted, Amanda stared at her son, not seeing the grown man but the child he once was asking for guidance.
“What do you want?”
“I do not know”, Spock looked at his mother, hoping to find some answers he knew logically she could not provide. He was struggling to find a logical course of action but his emotions flared. He wanted Jim. He had wanted him from the first moment he saw him, the alluring blue eyes and the way his smile lit up an entire room. Jim was the Sun. Over the years, Spock had denied himself the indulgence of thinking of the man, he had not looked him up, he had not looked at the pictures and he had not opened the transmission or answered his calls. Spock knew if he heard Jim’s voice again he would forget Vulcan traditions and go back to him. He had left the next day after telling Jim and ever since that day he had used all his willpower to not think of him. When he started to receive transmissions and calls from him, he ignored them. Now he had wished he had not. He regretted. Illogical. He wanted David, his son. He wanted to know what the boy was like if he took after Spock or Jim or both. He wanted to watch David grow, make mistakes and everything in between. He wanted a family. This family.
“How do you feel?”
“I do not understand the question, Mother”
“How do you feel about discovering your son?”
“The question is irrelevant”
“Spock, your mind is constructed in the Vulcan way, so you may forget your human feelings, but as my son, you have them. Human’s navigate situations with not only their heads but their hearts. Do you remember the day you bonded with T’Pring?”
“I hated that day. You looked miserable. Don’t get me wrong I was thrilled to have you move back to the same planet as us but you were unhappy on Vulcan, just as you were as a child. You haven’t been truly happy since you left Earth to bond T’Pring, I thought once you severed the bond with her things would get better and they did but you weren’t happy. I want you to be happy. Do what makes you happy Spock even if it isn’t logical. But as always, whatever you do, you will have a proud mother”, Amanda smiled softly as she watched her son process what was said.
“I wish to meditate”
“Alright. I love you, please call again soon”
“Goodbye Spock” Spock ended the video call, still sitting there as the screen turned black. He needed to meditate. He set up his meditation mat, incense, and candles before settling on the mat.
First, Spock filtered through the emotions shock, longing, regret, embarrassment, awe, love. He was shocked at finding out he had a son, he regretted not answering Jim, he regretted not seeing his son grow up, he regretted hurting Jim, he was embarrassed for his actions. He was in awe of Jim and all he had built. He was in awe of his son. Love. He could identify the emotion, he felt romantic love for Jim, during their romantic relationship Jim taught him friendship and love...among other things.
Concluding his meditation, Spock had arisen with a new plan of action so to speak. He would make amends with Jim and if allowed, he would get to know his son. First thing in the morning he would talk to Jim.
Jim knocked on the door of Nyota and Scotty’s house, he needed to apologize for David inviting another guest to their wedding. Nyota opened the door, the smell of food spilling from the doorway.
“Hey, Jim we weren't expecting you. Is something wrong?” Nyota asked as she ushered Jim through the door and into the house.
“I’ll tell Scotty to get the whiskey” Nyota left Jim in the living room while she fetched Scotty and a bottle of whiskey. The two avidly listened to their friend as he explained what David had done.
“That sneaky bastard” Scotty took a sip from his drink “He certainly is yer boy”
“What is one more addition? I’m fine with him being here but are you, Jim?” Nyota said, watching Jim with concerned brown eyes
“Of course. I’m way over Spock” Jim lied and Nyota gave him a look that said ‘yeah sure you are’. “Anyway, I’m sorry David invited someone to your wedding and well sorry for the drama that follows that”
“Oh, please weddings aren't weddings without a little family drama” Nyota smiled trying to reassure him “Besides I’ll take this as payback for dumping most of the wedding planning on you”
“All I did was carry out your orders that is hardly planning a wedding” Jim returned Nyota’s smile, comforted that they were not upset, “So David is writing both of you a formal apology for inconveniencing you, feel free to act upset so that he learns a lesson”
“Naturally” Nyota grinned as she walked Jim to the door “Should there be tears?”
“Absolutely” Jim mirrored Nyota’s grin as he waved goodbye and headed back to his house.
Later that night once Jim had confiscated his old journal back from his son, he sat on his bed and began to flip through the entries, remembering how much fun he used to have back then. He was in the middle of remembering their tea date when a soft knock sounded on the door.
“Hey bubby, are you finished with your meditation?”
“Yes…Dad, can I make a personal inquiry?” David was clad in his PJs with a toothbrush in hand and a blanket over his shoulders.
“Sure, baby what's up?” Jim putting the journal down in favor of pulling his son on the bed to sit with him.
“Do you regret having me?”
“Of course not. Was I scared when I found out I was pregnant? Yeah but I never regretted having you” Jim soothed as he ran his fingers through the neatly combed curls. “As a matter of fact, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I would take you over a thousand starships”
“Okay” David murmured as he curled into his dad, seeking the skin contact to read his father’s soothing emotions. Jim had taught him all about Vulcan customs and about their control of emotion but David enjoyed showing emotion. He didn’t want to be like a Vulcan, he wanted to be like Jim. Of course, Vulcan’s were telepaths so he had to go through proper training for that but he still chooses the human way of living. David knew how to shield and keep his mind orderly. Jim remembered learning Vulcan as a surprise for Spock, he had learned it with the thought they would bond one day so it was awfully helpful when he learned he was pregnant with one. Jim sang lullabies or read stories in Vulcan to David as a baby, “Can you read to me?”
“Sure. What do you want to hear?”
“Alice in Wonderland” Jim went to the shelf grabbing the book before returning to bed and letting David crawl into his lap so he could look at the pictures. Jim then started to read the book in Vulcan, David fell asleep quickly lulled by the comfort of his dad’s voice and Jim followed shortly after.
Thoughts? Comments? Concerns?
The next morning, Jim was chatting with one of the guests in the breakfast hall where all the guest in the villa were currently eating. Not all of them but most of them. The villa served complimentary breakfast every morning from 07:00 to 09:00 and throughout the rest of the day was a restaurant. Finishing his conversation up with the guest, he moved to the table where David and Joanna sat every morning.
“Eat up David! You’ve got an apology to present” Jim grinned at his son who was eating his porridge mixed with honey and fruit. Despite Jim never eating correctly, his kid sure did. Jim made sure David had a nice balanced meal and a vegan one. When Jim was pregnant with David, all meat made him barf and that carried on even after David was born. Now they are both full vegans upon David’s request, that was one of the things he took from Vulcan logic.
“What about you Uncle Jim? Dad said to make sure you had breakfast” Joanna smiled innocently up at her Uncle and Jim huffed
“I will as soon as you tell your Dad who helped David hack into my PADD” Jim raised his eyebrows at the girl who shifted guiltily under his gaze. “That’s what I thought missy” Jim poked her nose before turning his attention to his son, “Once we finish up at breakfast we can head over to Uncle Scotty and Aunt Nyota’s house okay? Before then I want you to work on your summer reading”
“But Much Ado About Nothing is so silly” David whined
“It’s supposed to be. It’s a comedy” Jim reminded him as he wiped a bit of honey from his cheek, “Don’t you like laughing? Hmm?” he asked as he started tickling his son who attempted to free himself.
“Daadddd s-stop” David huffed between giggles, Joanna happily giggling along and Jim stopped when he thought David might pee his pants. David was still grinning as Jim ruffled his hair with an easy smile, the easy smile fell from his lips when he saw Spock standing by the table, watching them.
“Hey Spock” Jim straightened up to fully face the Vulcan “This is my son David and you remember, Bones daughter, Joanna”
“Peace and Long Life,” Spock said giving the Vulcan salute which the two kids mirrored.
“May I have a word with you?” Spock asked Jim looked at the two kids before nodding his head and waving Chekov over.
“Hey Chekov, can you watch these two while I step out for a minute?”
“Of course! I vill tell them about Russia!” Chekov grinned and Jim sent him a thankful smile before leading Spock to one of the empty dining rooms so they could talk in private.
“I have read your messages” Spock began “If you would allow it, I wish to have the opportunity to know David. I was in error to not open your messages but it appeared to be logical at the time.”
“David knows who you are, he read my old journal from the year we were together” Jim stated “he was the one to invite you actually, he hacked into my PADD and added you to the guest list. He wanted to meet you and I won’t take away the chance to know his father but if you don’t intend to stay in his life then don’t put him through the heartbreak. I know T’Pring-”
“I divorced T’Pring 5.76 years ago. She was having an affair. I am currently planeside, teaching at Starfleet” Spock interrupted “I am grateful for the opportunity. I wish also to apologize to you. I have wronged you, my actions were cruel and I ask for your forgiveness”
Jim stared at him, a myriad of emotions crossing his features before he spoke “You’re right what you did was pretty shitty and I don’t know if I can forgive you yet but for David’s sake we should be friends”
“Friends” Spock said, feeling immensely pleased even if it meant being able to speak to Jim again “That is agreeable”
“I’ll talk to David and then we can work something out”
“Perhaps I could watch him while you worked today” Spock offered
“Maybe...Let me talk to David” Jim responded before he exited the room, Spock following him and Jim felt like he was in a weird dream. The pair reached the table as Chekov was in a full-blown debate with David and Joanna about whether or not electricity was invented in Russia.
“David” Jim placed a hand on his son’s shoulder “Let’s talk for a second okay?” David nodded, looking between Spock and his father before following Jim outside of the breakfast room. “Spock wants to spend some time with you, is that alright?”
“What about my napkin punishment?” David asked
“The idea is he will join you” Jim responded, smoothing the bangs on his son’s head, “Are you comfortable with that?”
“Affirmative. I would enjoy that” David responded “Thank you. Why are you in distress?”
“Don’t worry about me” Jim murmured, tucking a piece of curly hair behind David’s pointed ear, “Enjoy yourself. Ask him about his work or something”
“Thank you” David hugged him, his small arms wrapping around Jim’s waist before they both went out to greet the others.
“Breakfast ends at 09:00, David’s got something to say to Scotty and Nyota after breakfast and will be helping fold napkins for the wedding”, Jim informed Spock, anxiety welling up at leaving his son alone with Spock. Not really alone, Nyota would be there for the napkins and Chekov and Joanna will be here so he shouldn’t worry but a part of him fears Spock will disappear again but this time he will take David with him. Jim never thought Spock capable of doing what he did ten years ago but he stood corrected, “You have your communicator? Comm me if anything happens”
“I will” David nodded at him, he could feel his father’s anxiety through the parental bond and sent soothing vibes through it. Jim gave him a thankful smile, touching the child’s cheek before he headed off to deal with whatever duties awaited him.
“You possess a parental bond?” Spock inquired as they both resumed their spots at the table
“It was established while I was in the womb I am told” David responded, he was clearly attempting to remain more stoic around Spock, an attempt to appease him no doubt but Spock found he didn’t want him to hold back. He wanted his son to act freely as he did with Jim. “He is anxious leaving me.”
“My Mother had an identical reaction to departing my side”
“Your mom is human, correct?” David asked as he began to once more eat his porridge, the waiters came by and took Spock’s order as well as clear Joanna’s dishes. Spock was surprised to find Vulcan dishes on the menu as well as ones from various different planets. Joanna had moved a table away with Chekov, Sulu, Ben, and Demora discussing the best swimming spots on the island.
“I have a personal inquiry”, David stated, when Spock inclined his head as a sign of go ahead, David continued, “Did you love my dad?”
Spock’s eyes went wide before he schooled his expression to a neutral one, David sat there awaiting the answer, the young boy’s eyes held curiosity but also anger. Jim had said the child had read his diary, it was logical to protect ones’ parent. “Yes”
“Then why did you lie and hurt him?”
“I was in error. I believed myself to be acting logically but upon further assessment, I found the error in my logic” Spock responded, shame rushing through him at his actions and that fact his son knew of them “You are upset with me”
“I feel anger towards you for hurting my father” David replied as he pushed around the remainder of his fruit, “I do not understand how anyone could hurt him. He is kind, selfless and compassionate. He does his best to make everyone happy even if it means he is not. Do you intend to hurt my father again?”
“That is not my intention”
“Good” David responded as he finished eating his fruit, Spock silently ate his porridge and thought over what David had previously said. Of course, he was right, Jim was an enigma.
“How is education administered here?”
“All the island kids go to the local school on the mainland, there is a hover bus that picks them up, Joanna goes there and so do I every Tuesday and Friday for pottery class because all my other classes are taken in a learning pod like the ones they have on Vulcan. I tested out of the local schools so I’m on an advanced learning schedule but Dad wants me to socialize so he makes me do pottery which is fun but messy. At the moment, it’s summer break so technically I’m not in school but Dad gives me ‘summer reading’ and daily math/ science problems to ‘keep the cobwebs out’” David explained as Spock finished his food and listened avidly to the boy, “Right now I’m reading ‘Much Ado About Nothing’, it is quite illogical”
“Did your Mother give you ‘summer reading’?” David asked
“On Vulcan, we do not have a summer break as Vulcan’s do not need recreation aside from meditation”
“No summer breaks? But what about going on vacation?”
“Vacation is illogical. However, my mother did require one so we indulged her”
“Nam-tor she t'nash-veh ko'mekh-il?” David inquired, taking Spock by surprise at the switch in language and the fact that David knew Vulcan.
“Yes, she is your grandmother. Wilat did du oren-tor Vuhlkansu?”
“Dad taught me, he randomly switches between Vulcan, Greek, French, Standard and sometimes Klingon to see if I’m paying attention. Aunt Nyota does it too” David glanced over to where Jim was talking to one of the waiters, with his superior hearing he could tell he was speaking in Greek. Spock also turned his attention to Jim, the man was like the Sun, he shined brightly, warming everyone around him. Spock still remembers the feeling of Jim’s mind against his own, they never melded but he had brushed against it once or twice. His mind was like swirling, warm light that was so welcoming and so easy to fall into. If Spock had not been in complete control, he could have easily melded with Jim, their minds were beyond compatible, far more than his and T’Prings. He would have made a wonderful captain. Jim seemed to sense two pairs of eyes on him because he looked over at them with a questioning look, at being caught they both looked away. Spock and David talked and talked and talked until Jim finally came over to the table with a coffee mug in hand. Just then did they notice, the hall was empty except for the staff that was clearing the tables.
“Enjoyed breakfast?” Jim asked, looking between the two Vulcans an amused glint in his eyes at the slightly startled expression on their faces when they noticed they were the only people left.
“It was satisfactory” Spock responded
“Good” Jim gave Spock a half smile before turning to look at his son “Ready?”
“Is Spock coming with us?” David asked, it was so odd to see Spock next David, even though Jim had been imagining it for years, for it to finally happen was very surreal.
“That’s up to him” Jim replied, looking back at his son who swirled around to look at Spock expectantly
“I am amendable” Spock was pleased his son wished to spend more time with him, even with knowing the past, David was welcoming and warm just like his father. The three left the dining hall and made their way to Nyota and Scotty’s house. The streets were narrow and covered with cobblestone, it seemed they had preserved most of the original landscape.
“The cobblestone is original, obviously we couldn’t save everything but for the most part, it’s all original. Even with the villa being neglected for so long, the structure was still pretty well preserved and the places where he crumbled we managed to fix. Whatever we couldn’t save we use for decoration or repurpose it. Most of the furniture is from the original building” Jim quickly filled the silence of the walk, Spock had almost forgotten human’s need to fill silences with idle chatter.
“Yeah! My nightstand is made from the broken glass of the original building”, David supplied, “Dad said he worked off all the baby fat while fixing up the villa”
“Quit telling people I was fat” Jim poked his son’s nose in reprimand
“Uncle Bones says you were”
“Yeah well Uncle Bones is a liar” Jim responded “Oh look we’re here’
Spock watched with a warmth growing in his chest, he could never imagine Jim being anything less than gorgeous, regardless of his weight or age. Another part, a colder part shot through him at the fact that he missed all of that. He missed the pregnancy, he missed the first steps, first words. Spock imagined Jim picking out baby clothes alone, painting the baby room alone and just doing everything alone, it was not logical to dwell on things he could not change. Logically Spock knew Jim had Dr. McCoy aid with all his efforts, now he imagined Dr.McCoy doing everything Spock should have done with Jim. Jealously. Spock had only known this emotion once and it always involved Jim. Soon the three of them sat on the living room couch with Nyota and Scotty across from them.
So Donna used to be a dancer/singer in the movie what are your thoughts on Jim having been one at one point???
Spock realized he had not listened to David’s apology or the conversation that followed, his mind was caught on how close Jim was to him. David had elected to put Jim between them, forcing him in his close proximity and Spock could feel the warm hum of Jim’s mind, he had always been hyperaware of his mind. He was even more at a loss when Jim turned his attention to Spock, looking at him expectantly, “Spock?”, Jim’s voice jolted him back into awareness, everyone was watching him.
“How do you find the island?” Nyota repeated as if Spock did not completely zone out
“Fascinating. Most of the original-“ Before Spock could finish his explanation Jim’s communicator beeped.
“Oh shoot it’s Bones” Jim grimaced, standing to leave, “I’m late for a checkup. I didn’t realize what time it was. Are you alright here?”
“Aye go before the doctor hypos ye” Scotty grinned as Jim shot him a crooked grin before kissing David’s forehead and racing out of the door with a wave.
“is something wrong with Jim?” Spock inquired
“No, Uncle Bones just likes stabbing Dad” David stated as he settled on the ground with a basket of napkins to start folding. Spock simply raised his eyebrow. Nyota, Spock, and David started folding napkins together. Scotty left for work five minutes after the folding began and they folded in silence for a bit before David started telling Nyota about the Turtles he had found on the beach last week.
“Aunt Nyota, how’d you meet my Dad?” David asked after the topic of turtles died down and Nyota hummed remembering it clearly…
The flashing lights of the club, loud music, and lively crowd made for the perfect Saturday night for a couple of drunken young adults. Nyota was there with her friend Galia, the Orion loved this particular club and was excited because a performer she knew was here tonight.
“The last time I saw him was back on Risa, he said he wanted to come back to Earth to join the Fleet but needed to make enough to attend classes” Galia explained to Nyota as they danced to the music. They were dancing when the DJ made an announcement. “Ladies, Gentlemen and everything in between can I have your attention, please! May I present our act for tonight!”
The spotlight fell on a gorgeous man with blond hair, blue eyes and a dark-colored, spandex outfit on. The man lit up the stage with his voice and energy. He swayed his hips with the beat as he sang, the club moved from its pause of awe and soon everyone was bouncing with the beat. The man danced across the stage with an energy that demanded attention.
Several song and dances later the Galia’s friend met them at the bar with a smile, “Hey Ga, long time no see”
“Jimmy, what’s it been 4 months?” Galia hugged the man with a smile, “This is my friend…”
‘Nyota Uhura” Nyota stepped in offering her hand to the glitter covered man
“Jim Kirk” Jim smiled easily, shaking her hand. A booth and several drinks later, Galia went home with a Cassian girl and left the pair.
“Galia said you were joining the Fleet?” Nyota prompted
“I wanna see the stars. You know the greatest danger facing us is ourselves, an irrational fear of the unknown. But there’s no such thing as the unknown — only things temporarily hidden, temporarily not understood.” Jim chuckled as he took another sip of his beer, “I want to discover the secrets of the universe”
“Why’d you start performing?”
“I need credits to get to Earth and for classes. It pays a lot better than other jobs.”
“I think I’ve had too much to drink” Nyota chuckled, pushing away her beverage. “Wanna get pizza?”
“And that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Never have I ever seen another man rock spandex so well but don’t tell that to Uncle Scotty” Nyota winked at the boy. Spock was shocked, Jim had never told him of this. It was perhaps another thing in the curiosity that was James T Kirk.
“How did you meet my Dad?” David asked looking over at Spock, of course, David had read about it in the journal but he was curious as to how Spock would describe it. Spock remembered that as he remembered everything, with acute accuracy.
Spock was currently on a shuttle to San Francisco, he had spent his break with his mother and her family. His human relatives were less than ideal but his mother insisted he sees them since he was currently teaching at Starfleet. He noticed a man in the seat across the aisle writing in a Starfleet journal, the man glanced up at him with striking blue eyes and a flirtatious smile. The man moved into the seat beside him, causing Spock to stiffen slightly at the close proximity of man, he smiled and held up the Vulcan salute “Hi. I’m Jim Kirk”
“I am Spock” Spock raised his hand in the Vulcan salute, this was the first time someone had introduced themselves without an intent of malice or out of obligation. The cadet had no purpose to say hello. Spock couldn’t help but acknowledge how aesthetically pleasing Jim was.
“What brings you to San Francisco?” Jim asked, his eyes fixated on him
“I am a Professor at Starfleet”
“It’s my second year at Starfleet and I’ve never seen you around, I’d remember someone like you” For a moment Spock thought Jim was being mean but by his tone, he could tell it was meant for a different purpose. Jim had leaned slightly forward, his pupils slightly dilated and his tone was deeper than before. He realized Jim was flirting with him.
“As I you” Spock replied, shocking himself, a part of him was urging him to flirt with his cadet. The response was immediate, Jim’s grin widened and he shifted slightly closer
“Do you like coffee, Spock?”
“Vulcan’s do not have preferences”
“Well then will you accompany me to a neutral, non-preference cup of coffee?”
“It is against Starfleet Regulation for a Professor to enter into a romantic relationship with a cadet”
“Hmm really? Then can we be friends?”
“Vulcan’s do not need friends”
“ There’s another way to survive — mutual trust and help. Do you play chess?”
“Then can I challenge you to a game as a not needed friend?” Jim grinned at him with a twinkle in his eyes and Spock couldn’t help but nod. Jim pulled out his PADD opening a contact draft and handing it to Spock which he filled out without complaint. Spock was never one for small talk but he found he did not mind spending the rest of the ride talking to Jim Kirk
“On the shuttle to San Francisco, we sat next to each other” Spock said instead of explaining the whole story and David simply looked at him, expecting more but when Spock said nothing else he nodded turning back to the folding of napkins.
“So, you’re letting the hobgoblin get to know David huh?” Bones asked as he ran a scan over Jim’s body
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I? He wants to get to know David, he didn’t read the messages until last night so he didn’t abandon David”
“No, he just abandoned you” Bones muttered, he was what you would call very overprotective over his best friend. Jim was so young and he had already been through so much for his age.
“It doesn’t matter. David wants to know him and I won’t take that away. It doesn’t matter how I feel. Besides a little suffering is good for the soul” Jim hummed, as Bones scoffed and looked over the readings with a grouchy face.
“Jim all I’m saying is be careful. You were positive he wouldn’t hurt you last time and look what happened. I know you haven’t gotten over him and don’t say you have because you haven’t”
“I thought he was the one like my soulmate or something” Jim murmured, looking at his feet “It feels so right with him”
“I know, kid” Bones squeezed his shoulder “I know”
“So, Doctor, am I going to live?’
“Your stress levels are way out of my comfort zone which means you are going to relax until the Bachelorette party tonight or I’ll hypo you into coma” Bones pointed at Jim menacingly
“C’mon Bones I can’t- “Jim was cut off by Bones stabbing a hypo into his neck “Ow! What the hell was that for?”
“To lower your stress levels but also so you would shut up” Bones stated, walking over to his desk with Jim on his heels “Your staff can handle it that’s what you trained them for. Now go take your son to the beach or something”
Jim groaned as he was pushed out of the office, he made his way back to his office letting his staff know he was taking the rest of the day off and to contact him in any emergencies. Then he went back to his house to grab beach supplies for both him and David. He entered Nyota and Scotty’s house with a smile at seeing David fold napkins.
“How’s it going?” Jim asked, leaning against the doorframe
“Dad! Aunt Nyota said you sang and danced at a club” David grinned at his father while Jim just sent a glare at Nyota with a blush covering his cheeks because yeah he did not forget Spock was in the room.
“Well I was going to ask her to come with us to the beach but now no way” Jim picked David up and slid him on his hip.
“Hey he asked and I am not one to lie” Nyota grinned “but I have an appointment so I will pass on your non-beach offer. I’m sure Spock would like to go”
“Yeah come with us” David grinned, Spock looked to Jim who gave him an encouraging smile before he nodded his consent.
So I did kind of a mix. I'll explain more about it in the upcoming chapters!
Thoughts? Comments? Concerns?
Jim ended up bring not only David and Spock but Joanna and Demora as well down to the beach. Now the kids were building a sandcastle while Spock and Jim sat under an umbrella.
“I did not know you were a performer” Spock prompted the human as he watched the children play in the sand.
“After Tarsus and Frank, I couldn’t go home,” Jim said quietly “Sam picked me up and I finished out school. I needed money to come back to Earth and join the Fleet and I got offered a job so. Despite it being a last resort, I had a lot of fun and made some interesting friends”
“Why did you withhold this information from me?”
“You never asked” Jim shrugged, unsure why he was even telling Spock this, like it mattered in the end, “I stopped performing after the first year at the Fleet. So, it wasn’t like I was secretly doing it”
“I find you are no less complicated than our first meeting” Spock confessed causing Jim to chuckle.
“Well I hate to disappoint but I’ve gotten pretty boring over the years”
“That is impossible” Spock responded confidently, yeah Jim maybe was blushing and that is why he looked away from the Vulcan
“David is quite intelligent” Spock commented causing Jim to grin as he watched his son play with the two girls.
“Yeah, he is. Last year he went on a science learning vessel and everyone in his class was 17 and up”
“He speaks Vulcan”
“Yeah I taught him”
“I was not aware you knew Vulcan” Jim turned to look at Spock, his eyes searching the Vulcans
“I took a class in Starfleet”
“You did not have Vulcan as an elective”
“Yeah well, I hid it from you. I wanted it to be a surprise for when… it doesn’t matter. I don’t have to explain myself to you” Jim stood quickly “Hey who wants to bury David in the sand?”
Spock pondered why Jim would learn Vulcan without telling him as he watched Jim and the children bury David in the sand, it reminded him of the first time they went to the beach together.
They had been dating for about four months now and were driving out to one of the beaches along the coast of California for the weekend. Jim had picked a spot that was deserted, not a single soul in sight. That may have to do with the semi-strenuous hike to get to this particular area but Jim was beaming and Spock could not find it in himself to care.
“It’s gorgeous here” Jim sighed looking out at the sea, stripping off his shirt and laying it by their stuff.
“It is quite pleasing” Spock agreed but his eyes were on Jim, looking over his mate in a swimsuit, Jim turned to look at him catching on to the Vulcan’s meaning. He wrapped his arms around Spock’s neck, bumping their noses together.
“Why, Mr. Spock, are you flirting with me?” Jim purred, his lips brushing against the Vulcans
“Affirmative” Spock pressed a kiss to Jim’s lips, pulling the human closer to him
“Hmm flattery will get you everywhere” Jim chuckled, drawling out the kiss before pulling away, “Let’s get the umbrella set up”
Spock was reluctant to release him but complied in helping set up the umbrella, towels, and chairs.
“Can I bury you in the sand?” Jim asked a gleam in his eye which made Spock raise an eyebrow at him
“Just lay down and I’ll cover you with sand”
“Is this a typical Earth customs to bury their mates alive?”
“Is it typical Vulcan culture to be sassy? Don’t answer that” Jim sighed “Fine but you can’t help me put on sunscreen”
If Spock were human he would have let out a huff of annoyance as he conceded, Jim grinned handing him the bottle of sunscreen. Touching Jim, Spock found, was addicting. His skin was warm and with his touch telepathy he could just feel Jim’s mind next to his. It wasn’t a meld, he couldn’t read his thoughts but he could feel the mind. Its presence was so alluring. Their minds reached for one another.
“Now lay down so I can bury you” Jim grinned, pressing a kiss to the Vulcans lips and pushing at his shoulders gently. Spock frowned slightly before he laid on the ground in defeat. He would allow himself to be buried but only to make sure Jim didn’t get a sunburn. “Sweet. Do you want to be a mermaid or a sea turtle?”
“I have no preference”
“Hmm as much as you would make a hot mermaid, you’d make a cuter sea turtle” Jim grinned as he started covering Spock with sand
“Vulcans are not cute” Spock stated but Jim just hummed in acknowledgment at him as he began shaping the left fin of the turtle. The Vulcan closed his eyes, relaxing in the warmth of the Sun, sand and Jim’s hands, listening to the soft music playing from Jim’s PADD.
“All done” Jim finally said, stepping back to admire his work “stay there while I get a picture” Once Jim had snapped the picture of Spock and then a selfie with Spock, finally he pulled up the video screen “Now jump free of your prison!”
Spock simply raised an eyebrow at his lover before standing up, letting all the sand slid off and back where it belonged. Unfortunately, Spock was still covered in sand and Jim was laughing at the Vulcan.
“Aww, you look so cute. I am sooo sending this to your mom”
“You will not”
“I will stop you”
“You’ll have to catch me first” Jim beamed before taking off down the beach, kicking up sand as he went and Spock sprinted after him, easily catching up to the human with his Vulcan abilities. Spock caught Jim around the waist, pushing him to the ground so Spock was on top of Jim, holding his wrists above his head. “You know if you wanted to be on top of me all you had to do was ask” Jim had whispered breathlessly; his pupils had dilated and his eyes kept falling to look at his lips. Spock leaned down, capturing his lips and pushing closer to the alluring human…
“Dad! It’s Uncle Sulu” David shouted, startling Spock out of his thoughts, David was pulling himself to his feet excitedly to wave at the helicopter. Demora and Joanna were waving excitedly at the helicopter. Jim pulled out a camera, taking a shot of the kids all waving at the helicopter, a grin on his lips.
“Hi, Daddy!” Demora shouted, Spock could make out the pilot waving back, “Uncle Jim can Daddy hear us?”
“No, but he can see you” Jim replied, the helicopter turned to carry on its tour of the island and the children calmed “Hey why don’t we have some lunch?”
Jim opened the basket disrupting the fruit and sandwiches. Spock did not take a sandwich from him assuming they had meat in them. “Don’t worry they are peanut butter and jelly. Uncle Jim and David are vegans” Joanna supplied with a mouthful of grapes. Spock took a sandwich and looked over at Jim who refused to meet his questioning gaze. Once all the kids were finished eating, they resumed their sandcastle construction with a renewed energy.
“Would you like to play chess?” Jim asked, Spock, inclined his head and Jim pulled out his PADD, a holo of a 3D chess board appeared between them and they began to play, “How is your mom?”
“She is well” Spock responded, Jim and his mother had gotten along extremely well. Scarily well if you asked Spock or Sarek.
“Damn is it weird for me to say that I missed your mom?” Jim asked as he took one of Spock’s pawns.
“Negative. I believe she missed you as well” Spock responded by moving his rook from the clutches of Jim’s knight.
“Really?” Jim grinned, looking at Spock “You could invite them here… I am mean once we figure out everything. David has always wanted to have grandparents but Winona doesn’t even care if I’m alive so there’s that.”
“I believe my parents would very much appreciate being able to meet him” Spock responded, the Vulcan knew Jim’s relationship with his mother was not a good one but somehow, he had hoped she would have helped Jim with David.
“Well, I’m sure he would be glad to take an actual grandparent to school instead of me every grandparents day” Jim hummed, taking Spock’s rook.
“Oh, its where you bring your grandma or grandpa or both to school with you. They have all sorts of fun activities you do together. Last year, we made solar panels together as a fun bonding project” Jim explained, a fond smile on his lips.
“Fascinating. Do that also celebrate other members of the family?”
“Yeah. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. David likes celebrating both” Jim chuckled, moving one of his pieces it what seemed a pointless move.
“You play illogically” Spock sighed, well he sighed for a Vulcan and Jim laughed
“I’m glad to know I can still keep you on your toes” Jim beamed over at his chess mate and it felt right to Jim. It always felt so easy and right with Spock, they worked so well together. David walked over and grabbed a water from the cooler part of the basket, sitting next to Jim.
“T’Pring did not like chess” Spock commented, realizing too late that was not a wise thing to say. The response was immediate, Jim looked away from Spock a frown settling on his lips.
“Who is T’Pring?” David asked looking from Jim to Spock, the distress through his paternal bond signifying she wasn’t someone his father liked.
“T’Pring was my bondmate” Spock answered, wishing he had not brought that up and illogically wishing he could turn back time to stop himself from ruining the serene mood. Luckily Joanna and Demora came over before things could get any worse.
“Uncle Jim” Joanna poked at Jim’s arm to get his attention “Can you take me to the bathroom?”
“Yeah. De? David? You guys need to go?” Jim asked and both shook their heads “Okie Dokie” Jim hoisted Joanna on his back and carried her over to the bathrooms a little way down the beach.
“Papa said you were David’s other dad,” Demora said, looking at Spock with a tilt to her head “Does that mean you love Uncle Jim?”
“I…” Spock began looking at the child and then at his son who was looking at him as well.
“David says Uncle Jim still loves you” Demora continued “and that’s why he always looks so sad because you don’t love him back”
“De” David hissed
“Is that true?” Spock interrupted his son, looking at David now a serious expression caught on his features.
“Yeah” David responded quietly “I can feel it through the parental bond”
Jim and Joanna chose that moment to return, debating whether cookies and cream ice cream or cookie dough ice cream were better. “I’m sorry, Jo but cookies and cream will always beat every flavor in the universe, it’s a rule”
“No, it’s not” Joanna giggled
“Who says it’s not?”
“Oh, I didn’t know at eleven you unlocked the rules of the universe. Forgive me, Queen of the Universe” Jim finally caught a look at the awkward tension that had formed between Spock and his nine-year-old son, “Everything okay?”
“Affirmative”’ “Yeah,” Spock and David said at the same time, Jim gave them a suspicious look before settling on the blanket.
The group left the beach as the sun started to set, packing up their things they headed back to the little town. Jim ended up holding a sleeping Demora and David on the way back but Joanna somehow managed to walk on her own, even if that meant holding on to Jim’s shirt the whole way. Spock had been thinking about what David said all afternoon, he could not help but wonder if it was true or maybe David was mistaken. He was after all a child. Spock had carried all the beach supplies since Jim’s arms were full, he led Spock through the house where he set down Demora, David and Joanna before moving into the kitchen where Spock stood.
“Thanks for carrying all the stuff back” Jim smiled at him, the house was just as Jim had described it, small and with a good view of the sea. “These three were having a sleep over anyway, Chekov is supposed to be watching them since he is 17 still and can’t go to the bachelorette/bachelor party, are you coming?”
“You are welcome, Jim” Spock responded, a smile lighting his eyes “Nyota invited me this afternoon”
“Awesome. So, I’ll see ya there” Jim said as he started to close the front door but stopped at Spock’s voice and the Vulcan took a small step closer.
“Yeah?” Jim looked at Spock expectantly, the human’s eyes were dilated, his heartrate was slightly accelerated these were all signs he recognized on Jim from the first time they met. Gauging on this reaction, David’s earlier statement was correct, Jim still loved him. Spock blinked several times in this realization that he did not realize how long he had waited to answer. “Spock?”
“I…I wish to apologize” Spock began, moving his hands behind his back to prevent touching Jim, he had forgotten how alluring touch was when it came to the human. “I was in error ten years prior, it is illogical to regret what cannot be changed but I find that I do. Although my intention was not to hurt you, I did and I ask for your forgiveness”
“Kaiidth” Jim murmured softly, the Vulcan word sliding off his tongue “What is, is. You apologized earlier so… I’ll see you tonight Spock”
Whale whale whale another chapter down. I still have no idea how many to go. Anyway, how did you like this chapter? Should I include more flashbacks? Up next, the party and some angsty emotions so prepare yourselves!
Spock arrived at the party exactly at the time Nyota instructed it would be. The party was meant to be a bachelorette/bachelor party, it was a combination of Scotty’s and Nyota’s parties since they both had most of the same friends. The party was taking place in the courtyard of the villa, with fairy lights acting as a roof with flowers on the canopy. There was a dance floor, a bar and little tables for the guests to sit at. Nyota was sitting at the main table laughing at whatever Jaylah was saying and Scotty was chatting with Jim at the bar. That’s when Spock noticed Dr. McCoy walk up to him.
“Listen, you hobgoblin I don’t give a damn about the doctor's oath, if you hurt Jim again I’m going to hypo your ass to the seventh level of hell. He still loves you for whatever reason so if you wanna get to know David fine but don’t play with Jim”
“Doctor. I do not understand your meaning”
“You see, I feel sorrier for you than I do for him, because you'll never know the things that love can drive someone to... the ecstasies, the miseries, the broken rules, the desperate chances, the glorious failures, and the glorious victories. All of these things you'll never know, simply because the word "love" isn't written into your book” Bones sent him a glare before walking towards where Sulu stood with his husband. The music drew the people to the dance floor with the exception of Spock, he watched as the group laughed and swayed to the beat. Mainly he watched Jim, the sway of his hips with a soft smile on his lips. It reminded him of Nyota’s story earlier, imagining Jim in tight spandex swaying his hips across a stage. The hips he had been well acquainted with. It was… distracting, to say the least. Eventually, Jim looked up, catching his eye before making his way to him.
“Not going to dance?” Jim asked, standing between Spock and the dance floor. He stood close to him so he did not have to shout to be heard but the proximity was taxing on his Vulcan control. The Vulcan’s attention was always captured by him, regardless of what was in the room. When they were together, Spock could only get work done if Jim was also doing work. The human was very distracting.
“I suppose you’re about to remind me that logic alone dictates your actions?”
“I would not remind you of that which you know so well” Spock’s eyes gave away the smile that did not appear on his lips and Jim’s heart warmed seeing it. Spock would always smile with his eyes and the slight upturn of his lips.
“Well I think I am going to get a drink” Jim responded, turning his back to Spock and making his way to the bar across the room. Several drinks later, the group was much looser with their dancing and their smiles. Spock watched as they all got drunker and seemed to be having lots of fun. It was illogical to impair oneself with a substance that would obstruct judgment and later cause pain.
Jim was having fun, he hadn’t drunk and danced like this since David came into the picture. Tonight, it was his job that Nyota and Scotty always had a drink in their hands and that they were both having fun. Arranging this party wasn’t as hard as he previously thought it would be and he would sure as hell have an easier time when he helped plan David’s wedding. There was a time Jim thought he would marry, he wanted to eventually but when he envisioned it, it was with a certain Vulcan. Now he has made peace with never getting married and just raising David. Besides dating was not really an option for a single father that ran an entire hotel by himself.
“Quit looking at the hobgoblin” Bones grumbled as he came to stand next to him and yeah maybe Jim didn’t realize where his gaze had drifted.
“I was not”
“Sure, kid” Bones huffed a laugh before handing a bottle to Jim.
“Romulan Ale. Why, Bones, you know this is illegal”
“I only use it for medicinal purposes.”
“I got three kids at my house, one of them is your daughter. I can’t stumble in wasted. Besides the wedding is tomorrow” Jim sighed “Damn when I become such a spoilsport”
“Kids, do that” Sulu said, sliding up next to Jim “How was De?”
“Oh, here I got pictures” Jim grinned, pulling out his PADD and showing them pictures of their kids. After agreeing to send them all, they all finished their drinks and returned to the dance floor. Well, Bones was dragged to the dance floor. Eventually, Jim needed a break and broke from the mass to escape to the empty balcony overviewing the ocean. What he didn’t expect was for Spock to follow him.
“Something to say, Mr. Spock?” Jim asked, having heard the footsteps of the Vulcan following his own, “Not enjoying the party?”
‘The party is adequate” Spock replied, taking a step to stand beside Jim “It is very well put together”
“May I make a personal inquiry?” Spock asked, turning to face the human who mirrored his position
“When I inquired about your knowledge of Vulcan, you did not finish answering” Spock watched as Jim’s eyes briefly darted away “Will you complete your statement?”
“Why do you care so much?” Jim asked, his eyes questioning and defiant as they stared back at Spock’s. “You want to ask all these questions but why the hell do you care? Why do you even want my forgiveness?”
Spock did not answer, he remained silent and Jim looked at him with such emotion written on his face. “Why do I even ask?” Jim sighed running a hand over his face and turning to face the sea “I learned Vulcan because I wanted to bond with you. I thought we would explore the galaxy together. As stupid as it sounds, I thought you were The One”
“Do you still feel that way?” Spock asked, Jim’s eyes were a mixture of sadness and hurt when he turned to look at the Vulcan.
“I think you know the answer to that” Jim responded before walking away, leaving the Vulcan alone on the balcony. Jim went back to the party, joining the dancing again. Nyota grinned as she came over to him, her arm around Scotty’s shoulders.
“Jim! Where’d you go? You missed Sulu twerking” Nyota laughed at the memory, Scotty joining her.
“Ye alright? Ye look a little pale” Scotty questioned
“No, I’m fine. I think I’m going to go back to the kids though. I didn’t realize how old I’ve gotten” Jim joked “I’m tired and it's only 23:00”
“Are you sure?” Nyota asked and Jim nodded, giving them both a hug before making his way out of the party but not before being caught by Bones.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Bones grumbled, one hand holding on to Jim’s arm “You ain't leaving me here alone”
“I just wanna go home,” Jim said softly “Please Bones”
“Alright, but we are talking about this tomorrow” Bones stated, walking with Jim back to his house.
The next morning, Jim had made breakfast for the three kids and was leaning against the counter with a cup of coffee in his hand. Today was the wedding and today Jim was off duty. He was not going to deal with another guest until tomorrow. So, the complimentary breakfast was being run by his staff for today. All he had to do today was go through the list to make sure everything was in order and get David ready by 17:00.
“Can I have more pancakes?” David asked offering his plate to Jim who added two stacks with a smile “Did you have fun at the party?”
“No” Bones grumbled as he came down the stairs. Last night, Bones had stayed the night because he was drunk and Jim didn’t really want him making a trip down a steep, narrow street.
“Aww, Bonesy do you have a hangover? I told you to drink some water last night” Jim teased a grin on his lips as the doctor flicked him off when the kids weren’t looking.
“Do you know how many ways I can put a man into a hospital?” Bones asked a scowl on his face before he softened to kiss Joanna’s forehead and tell her a good morning.
“Mr.Chekov read us a Russian Bedtime story called Frozen” Joanna smiled at her father who scoffed
“Typical” Bones scoffed as Jim handed him a plate of pancakes and a cup of coffee, “How the kid is so smart and still thinks everything was invented in Russia, I will never know”
“Dad, did you talk to Spock last night?” David asked turning in his chair to look at his father.
“I did talk to him” Jim nodded, avoiding Bones questioning stare.
“Oh, what did you two talk about?” Bones asked, his eyebrows raising and his arms crossing.
“Is he coming by before the wedding?” David asked hopefully, taking a bite of his pancakes as he looked at his father.
“I don’t know. He didn’t mention it” Jim replied, filling his cup with his second cup of coffee.
“Why don’t you call Mr.Spock Dad?” Demora asked her friend as she swallowed down a piece of pancake.
“Um… I don’t know. I haven’t asked if I could so…” David glanced at Jim for guidance who picked Demora up
“Why don’t we go brush our teeth before your Papa gets here to pick you up” Jim carried the little girl from the room and to the bathroom. As soon as his dad was out of sight, David and Joanna leaned over to Bones.
“What happened? I could feel dad was upset last night.”
“Listen, kid, I don’t even know” Bones admitted “And you stay out of it! Joanna, what did I tell you?”
“But you said if it is the right thing to do-“Joanna was cut off by the buzz of the front door.
“I got it” Jim called, making his way to the front door, Demora resting on his hip. He expected to find Sulu on the other side but was shocked to find Spock, “Spock”
“Jim” Spock responded and when it was clear the Vulcan had no intention of saying anything else or moving Jim invited him in. Jim led Spock to the kitchen and set down Demora at the table again “So Spock is here”
“Hi!” David beamed before trying to subdue himself and do a Vulcan salute which Spock mirrored with a slight upturn of his lips, “Do you want some pancakes? Dad made them himself!”
Spock looked at Jim who nodded, he had issues with Spock sure but David wanted to see him. This was something he would have to get used to. David turned to his dad giving him a strange look, Jim sent him a reassuring wave through the bond.
The door chimed again, Jim answered the door to reveal Sulu and Ben “Hey guys. You two look… hungover”
Sulu sent Jim a pitiful look before Demora ran into her father’s arms “Papa I saw your helicopter!”
“I know De” Sulu smiled
“Thank you for watching her” Ben smiled as he smoothed a piece of hair from Demora’s face
“No problem. They had a blast” Jim smiled easily, “Did you get the pictures?”
“Yea…Oh my… Is that Spock?” Sulu whispered once he caught a look at the Vulcan who was currently at the kitchen table with David, Joanna, and Bones. The doctor did not look pleased that the Vulcan was there.
“Yes. He wanted to see David this morning” Jim sighed, both men gave him a sympathetic look, “But hey look how happy David is”
“Good Luck,” Sulu said before the little family said their goodbyes and promised to see them at the wedding.
“Well Jimmy, I think Jo and I ought to go. Nyota wanted her to talk about how she wanted her to throw the flowers or something” Bones rose from his seat and Joanna did the same, “Good luck”
“Traitor” Jim muttered to his friend as they departed, he sighed and moved to stand in the kitchen doorway “David go upstairs and change out of your PJs.”
“Okay,” David nodded and started climbing the stairs towards the bathroom.
“Don’t forget to brush your teeth!” Jim called after him watching the boy stomp up the stairs. When he turned back to his house guest, the Vulcan was staring at something out of Jim’s field of vision.
“I see you kept my Lyre” Spock said, Jim, followed the alien’s gaze to see him looking over at his old instrument in the corner of the living room.
“Yeah you left it at my apartment” Jim muttered, a feeling of annoyance washing over him “It’s supposed to ward off unwanted visitors”
“You do not need a lyre to do that” Spock reflected, fondness in his voice and Jim sent him an irritated look as he grabbed the dishes from the table, to start washing them.
“What are you doing here, Spock?” Jim asked as he started to scrub at the glass plate
“I am here to see our son” Spock responded, moving to stand next to him while he worked.
“No, it’s not. You would have commed me before coming here and not just showing up. You don’t do that” Jim stated, accidentally dropping one of the plates, making it shatter on the ground. “Shit” Jim crouched on the floor picking up the broken pieces.
“Allow me to assist you,” Spock said crouching beside him
“No, I got it”
“Let me assist”
“No, I got it. I can deal with my own disasters,“ Jim had all the broken piece in his hands as he rose to his feet putting them in an empty bowl with the thought of maybe fixing it.
“Ouch” Jim pulled back his finger to reveal a cut from the broken glass, “Okay so maybe picking up the broken glass without protection wasn’t my best move”
Jim sighed, going to grab a towel but Spock had beaten him to it, grabbing his wrist gently and wrapping his finger in the towel to stop the bleeding. Spock’s hand was wrapped around Jim’s and their fingers touched. The static electricity that shot through them, a reminder of how it was. Jim looked into Spock’s eyes, his pupils dilated and heart rate out of control. They hadn’t been this close in so long. Spock leaned slightly forward bumping their noses together softly and all Jim would have to do was lean forward and they’d be kissing. Spock made the move, pressing their lips together in a gentle, sweet kiss. The kiss was slow and gentle and everything Jim had wanted for ten years. It was like lighting a bonfire after being surrounded by darkness for so long.
Jim moved away from Spock and across the kitchen, putting distance between them, “No, you’re here for David. Not me. You have every right to David but not me, not anymore”
“Dad?” David called as he entered the kitchen “Oh uh”
“David” Jim moved over to his son and brushed his fingers through his hair. Jim internally groaned because David was going to be so confused and now he felt like a shitty parent, “Um okay. You all ready? Why don’t you go show Spock your learning pod?”
“Okay…What happened to your hand?” David as seeing the bloody towel wrapped around his fingers.
“Nothing, baby. Go have some fun. I’ve got to go make sure everything is ready for the wedding” Jim murmured softly to David, touching his cheek before looking over at Spock, “Are you alright with that?”
“Affirmative” Spock responded, the green flush in his cheeks betraying his controlled facial expressions.
“Okay have him back by 15:00, he needs to get ready” Jim instructed as he walked them to the door. Once he had closed the door he deflated against it. Spock made him feel so alive, he had forgotten what it was like to kiss him. The explosive chemistry they had or have. Nothing has changed, it has only gotten more intense since the last time they kissed. The part of Jim that was willing to jump head first, following his heart, had been crushed by the overwhelming fear of being left again. He wanted Spock close to him, he always felt like they could be closer, he always wanted to be closer. Now he is going to have to explain to David what happened. Jim cursed himself, he shouldn’t be so selfish, if Spock decided to leave again then Jim would be devastated and that wasn’t something he wanted David to see. He needed to think about David.
Let's see who can spot the quotes from the actual show and movies.
Thoughts? Comments? Concerns?
Really recommend watching 'Winner Takes it All' scene from Mamma Mia.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
David and Spock walked in silence to the learning pod. It was the first time, David had not filled a silence since Spock had known him.
“Have I upset you?” Spock questioned
“I do not know yet” David answered simply “Why did you kiss my father?”
“I care for your father a great deal just as I care for you” Spock responded, unsure on how he should respond. Frankly, Spock was reeling from the feeling of kissing Jim again.
“My dad said there are different types of love. Aunt Nyota loves Uncle Scotty but not in the same way she loves dad” David explained, “Do you love my dad like Aunt Nyota loves Uncle Scotty?”
“I do” Spock responded, his voice was low and serious. David looked at him assessing him before nodding in approval.
“Then why have you not told him?”
“I do not think he will believe me”
“Then you have to show him. Meld with him” David turned to look at him once again, the determination in his eyes and Spock raised his eyebrow at the child, “It is logical”
“Your logic is sound” Spock agreed, he couldn’t help but feel a rush of amusement and affection. David was so similar to Jim and to himself, it shocked him. The pair explored the building where David had his learning pod and showed Spock how the thing worked, showing him how he solved problems and so on. Spock was standing inside the pod with David watching him pull up an equation about DNA.
“May I called you Sa-mekh?” David asked, looking away from the screen to look at Spock who looked back at him with wide eyes.
“Is that what you wish?”
“I would be honored,” Spock said his voice was soft with admiration at his son and he could do nothing but pull David into a hug. The child was surprised but did not hesitate to squeeze him tightly. The hug was awkward, to say the least, but that’s okay because they are still getting to know each other.
Jim had finished going through his list, everything was ready to go and now his final thing to do was check on the bride and then the groom. Both were his friends. He knocked lightly on the room where he knew Nyota was getting ready.
“How is the bride doing?” Jim asked as Nyota opened the door, tugged him in quickly and slammed the door, “Woah I’m not that kind of girl”
“Shut up” Nyota rolled her eyes, she had a robe on and her hair was wrapped in a towel, “Can you paint my toes? My hands won’t stop shaking”
“Nerves?” Jim asked with a smile, grabbing the nail polish from her hands and sitting at her feet.
“Yeah. I can’t believe it’s finally happening” She smiled nervously, covering her mouth with a soft giggle, “I’m getting married”
Jim grinned as he carefully painted her toes, making sure not to get any paint on her skin “Scotty is one lucky man”
“Jim… Do you think-do you think Scotty and I will work out? Like years from now?” Nyota asked softly “I mean I’m going on missions and he is here… What if we don’t spend enough time together and fall out of love or-“
“Nyota. Hey, slow down.” Jim soothed “You’ve made it five years like that. Scotty loves you more than he loves engines which is a lot. You two really love each other and you guys have overcome distance before. True love is worth fighting for. Besides you’re too headstrong to let obstacles stand in the way of what you want”
Nyota smiled brightly, pulling Jim into a hug “Thank you. Thank you for helping me with this wedding and for dealing with all the guests and just thank you for being an amazing friend.”
“You’re welcome. Just doing my duty as the maid of honor” Jim kissed her cheek, “Now sit back down so I can finish your nails”
Jim left as soon as Nyota’s mother arrived, telling her good luck before he made his way towards where Scotty was.
“Oh, laddie. Thank god yer here” Scotty ushered Jim into the room, handing Jim his kilt, “My kilt has a tear”
“Didn’t Nyota tell you to make sure it was ready before the wedding” Jim chuckled as he pulled out the mini sewing kit he had taken with him, assuming somebody would tear something.
“Aye,” Scotty nodded, sitting on the bed with a huff “I dunno if I’m good enough for her, what if I’m holding her back?”
Jim sighed, a small smile to himself, it was so ironic how these two both needed reassurance and how course they would both come to him. When he had first set them up, he had no idea how much of a middleman he would play between them.
“Scotty you love her don’t you?” Jim asked as he sewed the tear in the plaid fabric
“And she loves you?”
“Then that is all you need. She is an adult and will make her own choices. She chooses to marry you because she loves you. She wouldn’t let you hold her back and you know it” Jim reassured him, finishing up sewing the fabric and handing it back to Scotty, “Now put your kilt on before your mom gets here”
“Thank ye” Scotty grinned pulling him into a hug which Jim returned. He was happy for his friends but he couldn’t stop the sadness he felt for himself. Putting together this wedding, reminded him of the things he would never have.
When Jim finally got back to his house, David and Spock were waiting for him in the living room. David was showing Spock the solar panel, Jim and he built for grandparents’ day, “Hey”
“Dad! Sa-mekh said all science vessels that orbit planets use solar energy” David crawled to his knees on the couch to get a better look at his father. Jim’s eyes widened at the word, looking over at Spock and then David. He was surprised David called him that so soon but David had always been very accepting. Jim supposed it was logical to address a parent with a proper title, even though Jim would never call Winona ‘Mom’.
“Well he would be right” Jim responded, glancing up at the clock before picking David up from the couch, “it’s time for a shower Mister, tell Sp…sa-mekh goodbye. We will see him at the wedding”
“Bye Sa-mekh, see you at the wedding. I’m the ring bearer!” David grinned giving Spock the Vulcan salute.
“I shall see you then” Spock returning the salute before making his exit. Jim carried David up the stairs setting him down in the bathroom and starting the water.
“Sa-mekh?” Jim asked, pulling a towel from the cabinet “You’re comfortable calling him that?”
“I wanted to” David explained, sitting on the chair while Jim untied and took off his shoes, “It was…logical to refer to him as what he is.”
“Okay” Jim sighed, standing up and brushing his fingers through David’s dark curls, “I was just surprised is all. Go ahead and get showered”
Jim left the bathroom, closing the door behind him before he went to the bathroom that connected to the master bedroom to start getting ready. Once Jim was dressed, he went to his son's room to check his progress which was none. David was sitting on his bed with wonder woman boxers and black socks on but nothing else.
“You know you actually have to get dressed if you want to go to the wedding” Jim sighed, picking up the little suit. It was designed to look like a mini version of Scotty’s suit just like Joanna and Demora’s resembled Nyota’s.
“But I’m hot” David protested which caused his father to sigh yet again.
“You never get hot” Jim snorted, gesturing for David to come closer so he could dress him “You just don’t want to put your suit on yourself”
“Maybe” David admitted, allowing Jim to put on the shirt and started buttoning it up, “Did you want to get married?”
Jim paused in the buttoning of his shirt to look up at David before finishing up buttoning the shirt and grabbing the bowtie from the dresser. “I did once”
“Why didn’t you?” David asked, as Jim tied the bowtie and slid David’s jacket on.
“Well the one person I ever wanted to marry, was married to someone else” Jim replied, pulling the kilt over David’s legs and tying it snuggly.
“You wanted to marry Sa-mekh?” David sat down allowing Jim to put his shoes on and tie them.
“Yes, I did” Jim replied and then took a step back “But baby it doesn’t matter, all that matters to me is your happiness. You’re my number one priority and you always will be, no matter what. I love you despite the fact you leave dirty socks everywhere”
David grinned at the last bit and Jim pulled his son into a hug “I love you too Dad”
“Good, you better” Jim teased “Now let’s get going before the wedding party leaves us”
The wedding party was on the move, everyone was heading to the church at the top of the hill, overlooking the sea. David and Joanna had gone with Nyota, excited to see the donkey climb the steep hills. Everything was surrounded with flowers and beautiful lights lit the path to the church. Jim was about to follow their lead when Spock suddenly blocked his path.
“Jim. I wish to discuss our relationship” Spock informed, grabbing Jim’s arm so he couldn’t keep walking away from him.
“Spock don’t do this now. I can’t hear this now”
“Jim, I ask that you listen to me”
“I don’t want to talk about things that we have gone through. Every time you bring it up I give away more of myself and you still haven’t given anything” Jim’s voice was heavy with emotion, his hands were drawn up close to him “It hurts so fucking much every time we talk because I still love you and I think deep down you know that. But Spock…we’re all out of cards. I lost.” Jim was crying now, tears making their way down his cheeks, “I thought I belonged in your arms, I thought we would get bonded, explore the galaxy and then maybe one day we’d have kids but I was a fool. I was a fool to think that you were mine. I was yours but you were never mine to have…” Jim moved closer, putting a hand to touch his cheek “Tell me did she kiss like I used to kiss you. Did it feel the same when she called your name?” Jim’s voiced cracked and he moved away from the Vulcan again, “I’m sorry that you have to see me so tense…no self-confidence but you see” Jim smiled bitterly “the winner takes it all”
Jim was sobbing now, tears slipping freely down his cheeks as he turned and ran up the hill after the wedding party. He ran to catch up so he didn’t have to hold back the wedding and he ran from Spock. He couldn’t stand to look at him any longer. Luckily running, he was able to catch the party as they got to the top, he panted and wiped at his face quickly.
“Dad” David ran over to him, his bond had been flaring with pain and seeing his father distressed was alarming to the boy.
“It’s okay, baby. I’m fine. We’ve got a wedding to be a part of” Jim soothed, brushing his fingers to calm David’s curls, “Remember to hold up your head and smile, I’m going to take my seat okay?”
“Okay,” David said softly, his eyebrows still drawn in concern. Jim sat down next to Bones and slouched in his chair. Thankfully he made it before the wedding party was to walk down the aisle.
“What in the hell?” Bones whispered at him, seeing the state of his best friend and quickly giving him a handkerchief, “Where were you? What happened?”
“Aww Bones you’re such a gentleman” Jim joked, wiping at his face and straitening up as the music signaled the entrance of the wedding party. Jim saw Spock sneak in after Nyota was down the aisle. The wedding progressed as planned, nothing amiss and everyone cheered as Scotty and Nyota kissed, sealing their marriage.
Do not worry the fluffy stuff is coming. Hold on.
The reception was in full swing, drinks were passed out along with the food and soon the wedding speeches began.
“Hey, I’m Jim Kirk for those of you who don’t know. I’m the owner of the villa and the friends of these two” Jim smiled gesturing to the couple, “I actually introduced them, Scotty had just started working on the Island and Nyota came down for vacation. Both of them were overworked and needed a break so I set them up on a blind date. I never imagined I’d be hosting their wedding a couple years later” Jim chuckled softly, “Before the ceremony I went to see them both before and both of them asked me the same thing in different words, they were concerned for the other's happiness before your own. So, cheers to both your happiness’s”
The crowd cheered, more speeches were made and everyone seemed to be having a good time. The dancing began shortly after the speeches ended, upbeat songs played and everyone danced to them. Jim even got Bones to the dance floor for half a song before the man grumbled off to the bar. Joanna, David, and Demora had a little trio dance going which was both hilarious and adorable. Soon a slow dance came on, Jim and the kids cleared the floor as couples began to slowly sway to the music.
“I request to dance with you,” Spock said softly, his hand was outstretched towards Jim and Jim was in a state of shock. He was practically gawking at Spock, not once had Spock ever danced with Jim or indicated that he danced at all. Every time dancing was brought up, Spock would dismiss it with ‘illogical’. David pushed his Dad forward towards Spock with a soft ‘”go dance”.
Jim took Spock’s hand in his own and allowed himself to be led to the dance floor, where they swayed along with the other couples. One of Spock’s hands rested on his hip, holding him close while the other held Jim’s own. Jim remained looking at Spock’s eyes the whole time, not forgetting what he had said earlier that day. Why would Spock want to dance with him? Why did Spock want to kiss him? Why did Spock take his hand when they danced? So many questions were shooting through Jim mind that he could hardly keep up.
“You did not let me speak earlier” Spock stated, his voice was low so only Jim could hear him, “This appeared to be the only way to get you to listen. I left you because my clan demanded it, if I had not fulfilled the engagement then dishonor would fall upon my family. I did not wish to leave you, it brought me a great deal of pain to do so. Logic dictated I attempt to find fulfillment within the bond between T’Pring and myself but I could not. Therefore, I waited until she gave me a plausible reason to dissolve it without shaming my family. By then I feared you had moved on and I did not contact you. I could not open your transmissions because if I had, I would have returned to you. I have not allowed myself to think of you since the day I left Earth in hopes of my desire for you would fade but it has not. I have been and always shall be, yours.”
The song came to an end and the louder music began again but Jim never moved from his spot and neither did Spock. They remained to stare at each other before Jim quickly made his way out of the reception party, he ran until he was standing on the sand on the beach, a couple feet from the water and he could feel Spock standing behind him. He knew the Vulcan would follow but he needed to get away from the crowd of people watching him, he needed to process.
“Do you mean that?” Jim asked, whirling around to look at Spock
“Affirmative” Spock responded, moving closer to the human and Jim didn’t step back, “I have spent ten years parted from you, I wish never to be again. If you permit, I will show you my depth of affection”
“What like a meld? But we’ve never done that before” Jim responded, it was kind of ridiculous how much he wanted to believe Spock. He wanted to believe every word and just fall into his arms but he was scared.
“Correct. Our minds are extremely compatible, I feared getting lost” Spock had never expressed his emotions so outwardly and it shocked the hell out of him. Jim thought about it for a second before he nodded.
“Okay. Let’s do it” Jim said, looking at the Vulcan with determination. Spock raised his fingers to Jim’s face and whispered the ancient words.
Jim felt like he was floating, surrounded by thousands of lights and colors. It was odd. Suddenly he could feel Spock beside him and slowly everything came into focus, they were standing on blankness, with the flow of colors swirling around and above them.
“T’hy’la” Spock whispered with awe in his voice as he stared at Jim or at the apparition of Jim.
“I’ve never heard that word” Jim responded, “What does it mean?”
“Friend, Brother, Lover… A human word for it would be soulmate” The colors that somehow Jim knew was Spock, swirled around his own and then Jim understood. The longing, the never being able to get over him, the rightness he felt when he was with him, the connection and understanding. Suddenly Jim felt a rush of emotions that were not his own, pain, regret, jealousy, envy, happiness but most of all love. It was Spock’s love for him. In return, Jim poured all his feelings to Spock, all the love, anger, pain, everything. They were on even ground now, they both understood.
“What about David?” Jim asked, his concern for how his child would adjust to the change, he worried David wouldn’t understand or he wouldn’t like the change.
“He was the one who suggested the meld” Spock responded, showing him the conversation that they exchanged earlier that day.
“What a sneaky little shit” Jim huffed, Spock’s amusement surrounded him in what seemed like a laugh.
“I believe he gets that from you” Spock mused and Jim sent him a glare or he tried to but this whole mind thing was still new to him, “Would you show me your parental bond with him?”
Jim brought Spock to the blue bond that was held between David and himself. The bond was strong and thriving. It reminded Spock of the bond he shared with his mother.
“I can send emotions but that’s about it. It helps when he gets hurt or sick then I automatically know” Jim explained, his hands trailing over the blue light.
“Telepathic communications without a meld can only be done by Bondmates” Spock explained
“Yeah I read about that”
“Do you still wish to-“
“You know I do but not right now. David still needs to adjust but yes. I want to” Jim answered before he could finish the question, good thing about being in another person’s mind was you could literally read their thoughts. “Let’s get back to David though before he comes looking for us”
When the emerged from the meld, Jim had tears on his cheeks and a huge smile on his face. Spock’s lips were turned upward in an almost smile, the way Jim loved.
“You love me” Jim beamed, his hands coming to cradle the Vulcan’s cheek.
“I love you, T’hy’la” Spock responded softly, his own smile tugging at his lips, “May I kiss you?”
“Hell yeah” Jim wrapped his arms around Spock’s neck and they kissed. They finally kissed both of them knowing how the other felt. It was perfect and Jim felt like he was whole again. They would figure everything else later but for now, they were content to kiss on the beach and bask in this feeling.
I'm sorry for the late update, I have been lazy. Anyway so finally some happiness!
I don't know if I'll write more but maybe. What do you think?