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Signs and Choices

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She woke up at 3am on the couch, wrapped in that blanket that smelled so much of him. The room was dark except for the dim light cast from his fish tank. She watched them making their slow circles in the water and felt a pinch of melancholy in her gut. The room wasn’t cold and the couch had heated under her skin but she shivered anyway. It was a chill from feeling alone. Alone and starved for touch.

She made a choice. A middle of the night delirious impulse carried her to his bedroom.

She stripped down to her camisole and panties and crawled under the blanket, adjusting herself until her back was flush up against him. He was splayed on his back and so deep asleep it didn't appear anything could wake him. She burrowed her back into his side and he stirred. Just as she hoped, he rolled over and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close. She couldn't tell if he was awake or guided by some unconscious instinct for closeness. She sighed into her his arms, feeling the heat of his breath against her hair, his skin burning against her. His hand rested on her solar plexus and she yearned for it to move up to her breasts. But what if he didn't want to touch her? Had she already gone too far by getting into bed with him?

"Mulder?" she whispered. "Are you awake?"

"I'm not sure," he said groggily. "I think I'm dreaming."

"You're not dreaming." She twisted her head back to look at him out of the corner of her eye and he took the opportunity plant a soft kiss on her cheekbone.

"Thank god," he murmured.

"It's okay then? That I'm here, I mean?"

"More than okay." She could feel him smile into her hair and he pulled her closer, wrapping his other arm underneath her and gripping her fully on the stomach. She put her hands over his and threaded her fingers through his. "We should do this more often."

"Don't get used to it," she quipped and regretted it immediately. She wanted nothing more than to get used to this. She wanted to curl up with him every night and wake up with him in the morning and she ached for how right it felt.

"Then I'll enjoy it while I can," he said softly into her ear. His breath tickled the erogenous zone on her neck and she shuddered involuntarily. "Cold?" he inquired, slipping a hand from under hers and pulling the comforter up under her chin.

She shook her head. "No, that just tickled."

"Sorry."

"Good-tickled," she admitted.

"Not sorry then." He squeezed her again and she felt like her body was being swallowed whole. She was so much smaller than him and she felt engulfed. She felt safe.

He blew against her neck again and she let out a soft giggle. "You like that?" he breathed into her ear.

"Yes." Her voice cracked.

"What else do you like, Agent Scully?" he asked. His fingers made small circles around her belly button and he snaked a leg over hers to pull her fully against him. "Other than appearing in the middle of the night in a guy's bed. With no pants." He mock gasped as he ran a foot down her calf.

“Sorry.”

"I'm most definitely not complaining. Although I have to say it's hard to remain a gentleman with you rubbing up against me like that."

"Excuse me, I think you have been doing most of the rubbing here." She arched her back and felt his erection straining against his boxer shorts push into the crack of her ass. They were both wide away now, skin electric, drunk on the moment. He let out an groan and the sound sent pleasure signals straight down between her legs.

"Wait, Scully, look at me," he demanded, suddenly serious. "You're not having some kind of sexsomnia incident, are you? I’ve heard of that happening. People waking up in the next day with no memory."

She squirmed around until she was facing him, eyes locked and breath hot between them.

"I'm wide awake and haven't taken any sleeping pills," she promised. "And last I checked, we aren't having sex."

"You know what I mean." He sighed. "I just, uh, I don't want you to feel like I took advantage of you tomorrow morning."

"And I don't want to wake up tomorrow morning with no memory of this," she said softly. She took his hand from where it rested on her back and held it between them. He pulled her hand to his face and kissed it with such tenderness she felt her heart split in two.

"You really want me?" His voice sounded small, vulnerable and boyish. She could feel they were on the brink of something, free falling off a ledge and she could only hope they would land somewhere with their friendship intact.

"Since the day we met," she admitted.

"No kidding," he said, dazed. "I never thought."

"Mulder, I get the distinct impression I could show up at your doorstep with nothing under my trench coat and you would still find a way to convince yourself I'm not attracted to you."

He chuckled. "I would be willing to test that theory."

"Too late. Since I’ve already declared my attraction to you, there’s no way of conducting a proper experiment according to the scientific method. Besides, I would need a control-group Mulder.”

"Have you? Declared your attraction, I mean?” His eyes were teasing. "I'm very slow and I often need things to be explained to me at least twice." He kept his tone light but she knew him well enough to recognize the raw need, the pleading in his eyes. "For example, saying that you want me could just mean you want a warm body to cuddle up with at night. I think we both know that I'm very cuddly but I won't stand by while you objectify me like this."

"Mulder, shut up."

"Gladly." He grinned at her.

"Wow, it's like you're a new man." She rolled her eyes at him. "I should have crawled into your bed in the middle of the night a long time ago."

"I wish you had," he said, almost inaudible.

They were quiet for a moment, waiting for her to spell it out for him. "It's hard to put into words," she began. "I think I just came to the realization that I can't imagine being with anyone else."

"Could that be because your job doesn't let you get out in the world enough to see anyone else?" Another joke, but his expression dead serious. His eyes were glassy and that told her enough to compel her to keep going.

"When I think about what I want in a..." She fumbled for the right word. "I don't like the word lover and boyfriend sounds so juvenile."

"Husband is skipping a couple steps," he offered and she raised an eyebrow at him.

"A partner, I guess," she went on with a little laugh. "It all points back to you." She felt her eyes start to water and she looked down, blinking hard to will the tears away. "Sorry, I had a really strange day."

"You have nothing to apologize for," he told her firmly, lifting her chin so her eyes met his. A few tears spilled over against her best efforts and he wiped them away with his thumb. "Scully, what do you want?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," she sniffed.

"I'll be here when you figure it out," he declared. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise?" She smiled, warmed by the tenderness in his gaze.

"Fuck, Scully. Yes, of course I promise. Haven't you learned by now that you can't get rid of me?"

"I never wanted to get rid of you."

"Unless I piss you off."

"Well, yes," she admitted. "But then I usually just try to avoid you until the feeling passes."

"So do you have any idea about what you want?" he asked, attempting to bring it back around. She could feel the anxiety reverberating from him, knew he was in the same free-falling exhilaration only compounded by the surreality of waking up in the middle of the night.

"I know I'm tired of sleeping alone. And I know I don't want to...share my bed, so to speak, with anyone else."

"That can be arranged." He pushed a lock of hair away from her face, allowing it to slip through his fingers and curling it. The additional touch was intoxicating, more than she was used to and highlighting the new developments of their relationship.

"It's just," she struggled to find the words. "Our friendship, our partnership means more to me than anything. I don't want to jeopardize that because of hormones."

"I think it's safe to say it's more than hormones for both of us, right?"

She nodded.

"Scully, your needs and your desires are not trivial. They matter. They matter to me. I didn't mean for you to sign up for my lifestyle of celibacy and hanging out with fringe weirdos on the off-hours when you took this assignment." He rested his hand against her jaw. "I know you want a life partner or whatever you want to call it, and a home, and a dog. That doesn't make you weak, that just makes you human. That's nothing to apologize for."

She nodded again, words caught in her throat.

"I hope you can understand why I have been reluctant to express any of my own feelings. The last thing I would want to do is make you feel objectified or uncomfortable and be stuck working with me. Even if I was 99% sure you were interested in me that way, I couldn't risk that 1% chance."

“Damn, that's hot," she whispered.

"It is?"

"Um, yes." She laughed. "It's hot that you care that much, even at your own expense."

"I think I'm doing okay." He gave a playfully wounded look and she decided not to touch that one.

"And," she went on, "you do understand that sometimes a woman wants to be objectified, don’t you? By the right person, that is."

"Ah, there's the rub," he said. "How am I to know I'm the right person?"

"Because I'm telling you, right now. Fox Mulder, I herby give you permission to objectify me."

"How the fuck did I get so lucky?" he said, almost to himself.

“It’s not luck. It’s because you're a good man, and you show up when you're needed and you flew down to Antarctica just to rescue me that one time and most of the time you respect my opinions even if you don't agree."

"Most of the time?" he protested.

She shot him a look and he shut up. "You didn't let me get to the part about how attractive you are."

"I'm all ears, g-woman." He was unabashedly grinning now.

"Sometimes I just can't stand you—"

"Hey!"

"Let me finish. I can't stand you for your puppy-dog good looks and your stupid chiseled jawline and that pouty lower lip that I swear you like to purse just to fuck with me."

"I had no idea you thought so much about my lips." He used that low, flirty voice he sometimes pulled out during cases and, as usual, she could feel the words shoot straight down to her clit, which was throbbing painfully.

She was already warm from their combined body heat under the blanket but she flushed even harder. She felt like she had a fever.

"You just show up in my life with your nice body and your oral fixation and frankly it's not very nice."

"I'm so sorry for my stupid jawline and my nice body." His grin grew even wider. "I'll be sure to start letting myself go immediately so as not to be a distraction." He licked his lips, slowly and deliberately, then pursed them just a little at her.

"Don't you dare," she challenged.

"Oh I see how it is, Scully. You only like me for my nice body and puppy dog eyes or whatever. Your love is skin deep and I won't be party to this. You need to—“

"Shhhh." She pressed a finger to his lips.

She wrapped her arms around him and pulled her head close to her chest. Her skin was almost painfully hot, reflected back to her in his own warmth. A hug felt strange in this moment but she pushed her hips against his tented boxers, and pressed her breasts against him. She pressed her lips against his chest through his sleep shirt. His skin was slightly damp and she could smell the sweetness of his sweat, a more concentrated version of the scent she knew so well.

"Fuck," he groaned. She could feel his arousal against her thigh, eager and insist.

"Have you thought about us, together like this?"

"Would it freak you out if I told you I thought about this every day since I've known you?"

She shook her head and moved to his neck, where she started sucking at the tender flesh.

"It hasn't been easy, you know. I guess I've always been good at compartmentalizing and I think that's the only way I've been able to stay sane these last seven years. Jesus!" He gasped as she sucked and released at the base of his neck. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met and I want nothing more than to remind you how beautiful you are every second of every day. And whenever I see you insecure or going on bad dates—“

"Understatement of the year," she muttered, moving her lips up along his jaw.

“—I just wish I could be the person who helps make that better. You deserve so much. You deserve the world."

She set her lips against his, not moving just sitting there, letting them both take in the moment. His lips were just as soft as she remembered from the hospital that day and they felt like pure electricity against hers. She was dizzy.

She grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled him towards her, opening her mouth and tilting her head to the side. Their hips bucked together as their tongues met, hands clawing at backs and legs squirming.

They pulled away, panting and giddy. "So, what do you say? Did my lips live up to all your expectations."

"I don't know yet," she said, smirking.

"Scully," he breathed, catching her meaning. "Do you have any idea how much I want to?"

"No, actually. I don't." She reached down to grip his cock, feeling the pre-cum through the fabric of his boxers. He wasted no time in returning the favor, palming her between the legs outside of her panties. She knew he could feel her soaked through. She hooked a finger through the front of his boxers to touch the bare flesh. He slid a finger under the elastic band of her panties, running his finger down her slit.

"Are you mirroring me?" she asked.

"Yes," he admitted. "You make a move and I will follow."

She pulled his shirt over his head and he did the same with her camisole. She lay there just in a black lace bra and matching panties, breathing short and fast.

"No fair," he whined. "I don't have a bra to take off."

She ignored him and reached one hand behind her back, unclasping it with one deft motion. There was a release of pressure as the cups slide forward and her breasts fell. She was about to remove it fully when he said, "May I do the honors?"

She laughed and moved her hand away. He pulled away her bra with a magician-like flourish and tossed it to the side of his bedroom. He buried his face in her chest, lavishing her chest with kisses and kneading it with his palms.

When he lifted his face, his hair was rumpled and his lips wet and reddened. "Honestly, Scully, if nothing else happens tonight this will still be the best night of my life."

"Because you got to play with my tits?” She laughed down at him and rumpled his hair. He gave her a cocky smile and nuzzled his head into her hand.

"Because of everything. Because I get to see this side of you and because I know you feel the same way as I do. And yes, because I get to 'play with your tits,’ as you put it so juvenilely. The magnificent breasts of Dana Katherine Scully are not to be taken lightly. Mana from heaven." He gave each nipple a little suck and she gasped, arching back against the bed. He moved back up to kiss her deeply as her hands moved to pull his boxers down. He held his cock against his stomach to avoid snagging and make it easier for her. When his boxers were down around his knees he kicked them off. Her hands reached around to grip his ass. She ground his hips into hers as he struggled to take off her panties.

He slid a finger easily into her dripping pussy. "Tell me, Scully. Do I always have this effect on you?"

"Only when I'm not annoyed with you."

"That must not be very often."

"More often than you might think." He growled and pushed another finger inside her, curling up until she cried out. She responded by gripping his erection, feeling him fully for the first time. She moved her hand gently up and down his length, enjoying the sensation of his hot, soft skin between her hands. He hissed and his hips bucked into her hand. Her other hand grasped his balls. "Fuck," he groaned.

She squirmed down the bed until her face was level with his cock, staring him in the eye. She missed the feeling of his fingers inside her but that could wait for now.

"Scully, I want to—“

"I know," she said. "Shh." She lapped at the tip of his cock with her tongue and his head fell back, eyes rolling up. She licked up his length from between his balls all the way up to the tip and he groaned.

"Scully, I'm not going to last long if you keep that up."

"That's okay." She smiled up at him before taking his full length into her mouth. She twisted her head as she moved back up before releasing him from her mouth with a pop.

“Fuck,” he groaned.

She gagged on it a little and felt the insides of his thighs quiver. Taking the base in her fist and his balls in her other hand, she moved up and down his length with the new slickness in her mouth. She had thought about this moment so much and she felt herself getting wetter. She adjusted her body so her slick sex was positioned on his leg and jutted against it shamelessly.

"I want you to come in my mouth," she breathed while flicking at him with a hardened tongue.

"But I—“ he started to protest.

"Later," she instructed.

It didn't take long. With her firm fist and a determined suction from her mouth, he thrust into her, gripping the side of her head with his hands without pushing her head down. She wouldn't have minded, but it was sweet of him not to assume. Once he stopped thrusting, she gave one last suck, eliciting a shudder from the man, and placed a sweet kiss at the tip of his cock before sliding up next to him.

He looked like he was in pure bliss, paralyzed against the bed and panting just a little bit.

"Just give me a minute," he muttered.

She kissed him on the lips, mouth closed as she wasn't sure he would be squeamish about tasting himself. Clearly he wasn't, as he pulled her into a deeper kiss. His hands reached down to grip her ass and pull her against him. She thrust against him again and moaned from the sensation. She could feel her own wetness left on his thigh.

Then she was on her back, pinned down by the man above her who was currently making his way down her torso, leaving a trail of kisses. He stopped to give her breasts more attention before moving down her belly until his face was between her legs. She lifted her knees to give him better access and he smiled. He wasn't moving and she started to squirm as he stared at her sex.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, suddenly flooded with insecurity.

"On the contrary. Nothing has ever been more right in my life." He spread her knees and planted kisses down her inner thighs. She shuddered involuntarily. "I just wanted to look at you. Take it all in." She chuckled. "You're beautiful, Scully." He seemed to hesitate at her name, seemingly not sure if he should be calling her by her first name now.

"Seeing you like this," he went on. "I just want to burn it in my mind forever."

"Well, I'm hoping this isn't the last time you see me like this," she responded.

At that, he swiped his tongue between her inner labia, spreading her even wider, sucking them between his lips. He teased her, trailing his tongue everywhere but the place she wanted him the most. She thought he could probably see the pulsing of her clit, her desire was so overwhelming. When he finally took his clit between his lips, lapping at it eagerly, she came undone in moments, grinding her hips against his head and crying out obscenities. It was easily the most powerful orgasm she could ever remember having, but that's what seven years of foreplay will do.

As he climbed back over her, she pushed his shoulders down so he was on his back. Fully erect again, she climbed on top of him and sank down on him, unable to last a moment longer without him inside of her. They both gasped, utterly still, taking in the moment, the fact that after all this time he was finally inside her. She was tight and it had been so long she was expecting more pain, but she was so aroused that she needed very little adjustment. They kept their eye contact as she started to move her hips. He gripped her ass, pulling her deeper into him, pushing her clit against him. He started to move his hips in motion with hers and it didn't take long for them to get a fluid rhythm.

She bent down to give him a kiss, not breaking their movements, tasting herself on his lips. When she broke the kiss, she kept her forehead pressed against his, feeling their hot breath together between their faces.

She had always enjoyed sex, and fortunately her Catholic upbringing never made inhibited. Her scientific brain ruled out in that area, thank goodness, and she never felt guilty about enjoy the pleasures available to her from her body. But this was like nothing she had experienced before. She felt drunk on the sheer sensation of their bodies connected, and she never wanted it to stop.

"I love you, Mulder," she whispered into his ear.

"I love you too," he said into her mouth before kissing her deeply.

He picked up the pace, grinding into her with ferocity. As soon as the pace let up a bit, she arched her back and bounced on his cock, watching his eyes light up as he watched the movement of her breasts.

"You like that," she smirked.

"It's the 8th wonder of the world," he said appreciatively, before flipping her on her back. He got up and stood at the edge of the bed. She squealed as he pulled her feet towards him, dragging her body across the bed like it weighed nothing. He draped her legs over his arms and entered her slowly, watching carefully as she moaned with the contact.

"Touch yourself," he commanded.

She pulled two fingers into her mouth, coating them with her saliva. He leaned over and she took the hint, placing her fingers in his mouth. He sucked at them until she pulled them out and started rubbing herself. He watched her movements with the eye of an investigator, taking mental notes. As she moaned and bucked her hips, he reached down and groped at her chest, teasing her nipples with each thumb.

"Come on my cock, baby," he demanded. "I want to feel you come."

It was those words that threw her over the edge. She cried out and he slammed into her with ferocity, thrusting as hard and fast as he could to maximize the intensity of her orgasm. It didn't take long for him to follow her. He held on to her knees for balance as he emptied into her with a moan. His eyes closed involuntarily as he came but as soon as they opened, he locked eyes with her. With him still inside her, she sat up on the edge of the bed, letting him cradle her head as he crushed his lips against hers.

"I love you so much," he mumbled. "Sometimes it scares me how much I love you."

"Me too," she replied and her eyes welled a bit. As he slid out of her, she let out a small breath at the loss.

She slipped away to go to the bathroom and as she washed her hands, she stared at herself in the mirror. Her hair was all over the place, her lips swollen and blurred by the smudge of her lipstick. Yesterday's mascara smeared under her eyes. She was sore and sweaty and spent, and she liked what she saw. She looked almost happy, and it had been a long time since she had seen that in the mirror.

When she crawled back in bed, Mulder was already half dozing. She curled up in his arms and they both fell asleep easier than they had in years.