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My beloved Roger

Chapter Text

My beloved Roger


I miss you like hell.
Just shared memories today with John, realizing that we^ll have the 10th anniversary.
Almost 10 years since we finally managed to complete the band, after all those years of half-hearted
*You know, some day we¨ll be famous-* Blah Blah.

, since we^ve found a drummer. since I have found YOU.

And i just thought it would be nice to write down a few memories for you, The more intimate ones, the ones i don’t really want to share with John, as much as I love him.
I will have plenty of time and I`m thinking about you in every free minute anyway, so I think it would make a great gift for you, for our tenth aniversary:
My thoughts written down to be shared with you.
October 2004
I clearly remember all the thoughts and feelings I had when I first met you.
It had been a bad day so far.

You know how much I hate it to be late, how much i hate it to take the tube.
Me, the perfectionist, the controller.
And that day I just simply forgot about the fact that my car was still in repair,
I can¨t remember anything like that has ever happened to me before,
So, maybe, as pathetic as it sounds, it was fate?

Angry about my own stupidity, I threw myself on a free seat. I had to run to catch the train.
And god knows , I hate to run.

Many things I hate listed here so far, uh?
Bad day, I told you!

And then there was you, sitting next to me
.Earphones in, tapping your feet to an unheard rhythm..
You were readng a book. The cover said. * the joy of..* well, whatever joy it was, i could not read. It was covered by your hand.
*SEX? * I thought and had to smile about that.
I then noticed your smell.


Have i ever told you, my Roger, that you are the best smelling man in the entire world ?

Well, you are! Even after hours of drumming, or when you are coming back from one of your morning runs, covered in sweat, you still smell like that day in the tube. Are you an alien?


Ah, back to the tube:


You. Next to me. Smelling good.
Worth a second glance, I^d say.
Filmstar like.
Had to think of James Dean with.a tad of young Rock Hudson.
A little frown between your brows. Long, thick lashes.
Your lips moving, as if you¨d read that book aloud.
The joy of
*Sex* ?
I couln^t help but chuckle.
You looked up.
Ah, darn, have you heard me ? But.. headphones?
You gave me a short smirk and a nod, then returned to your book.
Brown. Your eyes. Warm. Friendly.
There was something about you. Something that made me wish to talk to you, Wishing I could, just stretch out my hand and…
• *Touch that wonderful hair of yours*

say: „ Hi, I¨m Nick“
But hey, that would be strange, huh? Odd men staring at you in the tube are most likely not something you^d be happy with. Gay men, who almost couldn^t resist to touch your wonderful hair.

• *Jesus, Rhodes! Stop that! You^ll have his fist right in your face. Stop staring at handsome strangers**

Handsome. Yes. That is what you are. A very handsome guy.

I decided that it would be safer to just look at my shoes when I heard you speaking to yourself
„ Ah..fuckfuckfuck!“ you murmured in frustration
And all i could think about was
• *, anytime,handsome! Just ask for it nicely*

And with that thought came the image.
You. On your knees. In front of me .It came in such a clear, visible picture, so intense, that it gave me a hard on right away.


• * What the hell is wrong with you, Nicholas James ! You are Nick Rhodes! You are cool. You are dominant. You are in control. Always !And here you are, freaking out about a stranger, just because he looks and smells good ?

• *
It didn^t help much when you turned to me, pulling the earphones out , saying :
« Don¨t you hate those days ? »
And with that, you disappeared. Like a ghost. I hadn¨t even noticed that we¨d arrived at St. Johns. I had to get out there, too. I just couldn^t move.
There was still your smell. And the vision. And my massive hard on.

I can see you smiling when you read this, Roger.
I love to see you smiling and laughing.
During the years I^ve collected so many visions of you,
And the one of you laughing, head tilted back, sparkling eyes framed by those lovely wrinkles ,is one of the best.

But let^s go on.
So, my Roger, you left me totally puzzled in that freaking tube.
And i could not get this quite annoying James Blunt-song out of my head for the next 24 hours.
I hate it to be late.
I hate it to run.
I hate tubes.
And I definatly hate James Blunt!

But he sings in my head, that bastard,
• I saw your face
• In a crowded place
• And i don¨t know what to do
• Cause i¨ll never be with you

In the next week it got even worse, if possible.
I fell asleep on the couch during the day. An important day.But how could i have known that?
Just another drummer rehearshal., I thought.


Sorry to say that, Roger, but at that time i had been so sick of drummers. Really! You should have seen them!
One uglier than the other, I swear.Not to mention that they¨d ruined all of the melodies with noisy crap.
Thinking about this gives me a headache right away.

It was the day when just another one of this ugly drummers should show up in our little studio, and I fell asleep.
So again, I would be late. As for the
first audition, when some beautiful stranger in the tube distracted me so much that i missed the right station to get out.

When i woke up at three pm, i already knew Simon would be pissed.
And there he was on my message box, yelling at me.
„ Hell, Bates! Where are you? We have found him! He^s it! You have to be here to give your ok,“


At least i had my car back. No tube rides.
When I walked into the studio, I was really thinking more about my couch than any drummer.

And then, again, there was you
I had to blink.
Once, twice.
The handsome stranger.
In our studio.
Behind the drums
Oh good lord!

„ And here there is la Diva Rhodes, finally deciding to show up“ Simon grinned and took my arm to pull me forward to the drum kit.
„ There he his! Our new drummer.His name is Roger, and he^s fucking gorgeous“

„* Uh. Roger. His name is Roger. And he is fucking gorgeous, indeed…
Rhodes! Sort yourself out! Be professional. Gaaawd..he …is…fucking…gorgeous. So fuck…stop thinking about fucking, Rhodes. Stop…fucking handsome…that hair…and all sweaty..and smelling so so…fucking good*

„ Oh, it¨s you!“ you said, smiling at me when you rose from your stool, reaching out a hand. » Hi .I^m Roger. Nice to meet you. Again. I hope you don^t think I¨m some crazy freak after my fuck-mantras in the tube. Bad habit. Someone should spank me every time i^m doing it“

“* Ah*

I somehow managed to take your hand,
„ Hi there, Roger with the bad fuck-habits“

*Did I really just say that? Roger with the bad fuck-habits?*

„ I^m Nick. And my brain works kind of strange these days“i laughed, and, thank god, you laughed back, shaking my hand.

Touching you was sending shivers down my spine. Your hand warm, strong and very maskuline, Rough and callused

• Professional, Nick! Be professional!.Be the controller !*

« Sorry for being late, Roger. Would you mind to listen to one more Song and let us see what you can do with it?“

Save a prayer. That one song where every drummer has failed so far. I hoped you won¨t. I really really wanted you.
• In the band, of course, i want you in the band. Roger with the wonderful hair and maskuline hands and bad fuck habits. I want you. On your knees…in front of me…there…that vision…again*

« Sure » you said and it took me a while to get what you were talking about.
Ah, save a prayer…
Simon had already handed the headphones to you, and John started the song.
For a while you just sat there, listening. Head tilted back, eyes closed, hands folded behind your neck.
Yet again i couldn^t help but staring at you.
As you know so well by now, my Roger, you with your hands folded behind your neck is one of my favorite posture of submission.
Works better with you on your knees, but back then it was enough to drive me crazy.
Especially with this little drop of sweat running down your neck, your lips slightly parted and the humming coming out of your throat.

I was about to panic that my staring would be way to obvious when i just realized that all of us were staring at you.. Of course.
Save a prayer. The song that has been ruined by every drummer who had tried before.
I could tell they were all hoping that you won^t.

A smile creeped up in your face and there you did it again

« fuckfuckfuckfuck »
Didn^t sound frustrated this time, more like * uh. Quite a challenge*

*someone should spank me every time I^m doing it…

Simon elbowed me and i snapped back to terms.
„ I¨m positive“ he said „ He^ll make it. I know“ he whispered.

„“OK“ you finally said when the song was over, dropping the earphones,
„ Wonderful song by the way.Love it. Not an easy task, though.“


And then.. it was magic. Pure magic. I never thought that drums could be played ever so gently.At the end we all stood there, totally blown away. Simon with tears in his eyes.
John with a huge sheepish grin on his face.
Andy with his mouth open, just speechless.
Me, i don^t know. I was just overwhelmed.
You are our drummer !
You really are!
Simon was the first to move. He pulled you in one of his bear hugs and placed a kiss on your forehead.
„ Fuckfuckfuck indeed, Roger! That was…that was…“
He dropped down on his knees and pleaded,
„ Dear Roger, please be our drummer. Please!“
And you laughed, that typical pure and honest Roger-laugh i^m so in love with.
„ It would be a pleasure to be your drummer, Simon!“
We decided to meet up later in a pub just down the road to celebrate.
Andy winked at you
„ Now you can tell the girls you are a famous drummer, eh? Will help.“
„ To be honest, Andy, I¨m not interested in girls“ you smiled, ever so confident.


• *What?? Whatwhatwhat???You^re not interested in girls? What does that mean‘ What…*

„ Don^t tell me you are a fuckin fagott, Roger ! » Andy blurted in disbelief.
« Well, Andy, I have to tell you that i am quite a fuckin fagott. Is that a problem?“
„ Ah, no, never mind. I have dealed with la Diva long enough to handle it, i think“ Andy smiled and gave you a hug.
„ La Diva, huh?“ you turned to me., smiling all over.
And I blushed . For the first time in somewhat 20 years I blushed.
John gave me a strange look.
Simon even chuckled.
Andy, god bless him. took the akwardness out of the situation by asking you :
« By the way, Roger, what^s your family name ? We have to know, for the contract“
« It^s Taylor. Roger Andrew Taylor. That^s me.“
„ This is fucking rediculous“ Simon laughed.
The other two Taylors gave a high five.
« The Taylor three ! Wahoo. We will take over world domination¨“John hugged you with a grin and I noticed that they all did that in the last few minutes. Hugging you.
My turn, then?
But I couldn^t.i just couldn^t do that.

« Well then, I^ll see you guys at eight in the pub. I really need a shower and some fresh clothes.“ You waved a hand, turning to leave.
„ Oh, Roger. Since we will bring our wifes, your boyfriend is also invited“ Simon said.
My heart skipped a beat.
« Thanks, Simon, but no boyfriend. » With that, you left.

Your ability to disapear like a ghost, leaving me completely puzzled, was really impressive back then.

I drove back home, head spinning with thoughts and feelings.

*We have a drummer! Finally. Wow. A handsome one. A gay one.With no boyfriend Who wants to be spanked for bad fuck habits.*

Roger, you have no idea how confused I have been. I felt like a teenager again. I was so not me. I used to be in control. Confident.The controller. The bossy perfectionist.
Dominant. Always on top.

But all my confidence, all my control…it was gone.
I even thought about not showing up in the pub.
I mean, you made me blush. Everyone saw it.
I had been the only one not hugging you.
At least John would have noticed that.
And how the hell should I spend an evening with you? Near you?

*You should get used to it. Being near to Roger, He^s the drummer of your band now, you idiot..
Should get used. Being near to you. Almost every day. Seeing you drumming. Sweating.Your amazing arms. Your wonderful hair. Your sparkling eyes.Your smile…*


Of course I went to the pub. For once perfectly in time.
Simon and Yas were there yet, also Andy and Trace.John without Gela, who was in LA.
But our new drummer, the third Taylor. the second fuckin faggot, wasn^t.
Simon, still blown away by your performance with save a prayer, was telling everyone for the millionth time how brilliant you have been.
I sat beside John, my oldest, my best friend.
„ Roger, huh?“ he said quietly, with a knowing grin.
„ Yeah.Roger. A very good drummer, Roger“ I replied sheepishly.
„ A very good looking gay drummer with no boyfriend“ he continued.
„ Indeed. A very nice , very easy going sweet guy who would freak out when he would know about my sexual preferences“ I sighed.
„ But there is something going on between you two, Nick, isn^t it?“

„ What is going on, John, is, that I^m all confused. Never before I had such an intense crush on someone at first sight.But what can I do? Telling him, hey Roger, guess what, I want to tie you to my bed and torture you with your own drumsticks?“

• Where the hell was that coming from? Torturing you with your drumsticks? *

John laughed. „You^re right, he would propably freak out about that, going * fuckfuckfuck* all the way.“
Good old John. Always knowing how to lighten my mood.
We were still laughing when Andy jumped up to shout your name.
„ Roger! Over here!“

• How is it possible that you look so stunning in ordinary blue jeans and a tee ? how is it that you still have this film star appearance, even in torn sneakers ? That smile of yours is killing me*

I can still remember what you wore that evening , my Roger, every little detail.
Your black, well fitted tee, with a blood red print. * Black velvet*.it said.
Dark blue jeans. Levis. Black chucks with holes in it.But most of all I remember the expression of happiness in your face, when you approached our little group.

« Hi there ! This time it¨s me being late, I guess. I apologise. Some trouble at work »
« Get the next round of drinks, and you will be forgiven¨“ Andy grinned,

It was a couple of drinks later when I found myself staring at you again.
You were playing billard with Andy. So niclely bent over the table, presenting that firm bum of yours.
The way you let the queue slip through your fingers didn^t help either.
« Oh my » i muttered. Not quiet enough for Yasmin, who sat beside me.
„ I can read your thoughts, Nick!“ she smiled devilishly.
„ Yeah, Yas, because you are thinking just the same, aren^t you?“

„ Ah, please, Nick! I^m a happily married woman! As if I would stare at sexy jeans cladded asses of other men! Puh-leeese!“
We bursted out in laughter, and you, distracted, turned to face us.
« Puuh-leese yourself, Yasmin, I have to concentrate on something here ! »
« Oh, go ahead, Roger, we like to watch you concentrate on something, really ! Yas giggled.

You raised one brow.
« Excuse me, are you two staring at my ass ? »
« You bet » we giggled unisono.

I was ok with it, I felt good with Yasmin as an alibi by my side.
„ Tststs“You grinned, shaking your head slightly when turning to the table again.
And then you wiggled that ass in front of us in a playful manner, making us laughing even more.
Easy. All easy. All fun.

It was about two in the morning when i got home that night.
Whatever got me to do that, i collected all those canes and cuffs and whips and other stuff in my bedroom which I never had really hidden awayto store it safely and discreet ,
Easy.All easy.No need for that. No need to scare you away, if you¨d ever come close to my bedroom.

I had finally managed to hug you. When we said goodbye at the taxi stand.
Everyone else did so, too before entering the cars.
You and me were the last ones to catch one and we had to wait for another car.
„ So, La Diva, thank you for an amazing evening. Thank you for having me in the band“ you said.“ I kind of figured that you are the most serious one about the band thing““

„ They are calling me the contoller, actually“ I winked . » and you don^t have to thank me for being in the band. You have by far been the best drummer that we have heard“

„ Good! „ you nodded. „ Thats good. I^m really happy about it, Nick!“
And there you stood, so happy, so honest, that I had to fling my arms around you, pulling you close.

It¨s amazing how many different things one can feel in only a few seconds.

• He smells so good. His body is so firm. And warm. And oh, it feels so good to hold him. So good. His arms around my waist. His head resting slightly at my shoulder. Hair tickling my cheek.I have to touch his hair, i have to*


My mind on autopilot, i ran my fingers through your hair, just shortly.
It was only then when the two other cars arrived, so we parted, somehow very slow. As if you would like to hold on just like me.
And then, you killed me. You literally killed me with your smile.
„ You have beautiful eyes, Nick, do you know that? Good night, precious Diva“
„ Good night, handsome drummer“

Again, i felt like a teenager. And yes , lets face it, I had fallen so madly in love with you, head over heels,

So there is nothing i wouldn¨t do for you, I can change for you. I can ban all those thoughts about leading you into submission. About giving you pain. I can. If I only can be with you.
With that tought in my head, with the feeling of your hair at my cheek, with your voice talking about my beautiful eyes, i can do it.

That’s what I thought, at least.

Chapter Text

During the next couple of days, as you may remember, my Roger, we were all buzzing with excitement about beeing a complete band, and we met daily to jam around, being creative, overflooded with ideas.
The two of us got along very well, You used to greet me with * precious Diva* and I returned * handsome drummer*, and we were constantly smiling at each other.That was it. No further efforts.
Until the day John called me to tell me that he has to fly back to LA the same day, because Gela had some kind of trouble.
So far so good.
It¨s just that we had tickets for a very exclusive Art gallery opening in Notting Hill.
John…and I swear I¨ve heard his smile through the phone.,,suggested that I¨d ask you to come with me.

*ok, why not?I mean, I^m not asking you for a date or something. It¨s just that I have two tickets and no company, right ?’*

I can¨t remember ever being so nervous about a simple phonecall.

I ended up talking to your message box anyway.

« Hi there, handsome drummer.Any plans for the evening yet ? I know it¨s a bit on short notice, but John had to get back to LA and now I have a ticket left for a gallery opening . Fancy stylish event, should be fun to go.. So if you like…just call me back“

About an hour later,you texted back.

* A fancy event with the precious diva? Aye, I like that !! Where, when and what to wear? Sorry, I can^t call you back, i^m at work*

*Notting Hill gate, 8.15. wear whatever you want. Just be fancy ;) Meet me there or do you need a ride?* I texted back, not able to stop myself from smiling like an Idiot.

Oh, by the way, Roger, just in case you are asking yourself how I can remember old text messages…Guess what? I still have them all saved on my mobile,

*Ack, diva, I am not so fancy as you are,Some advise, please? Sparkling rainbow glitter suit?*

I nearly felt from the couch at this one. Oh, that vision!

*come naked. THAT would be fancy*I typed and sent
*Nick!!Come naked? Are you nuts????*

No answer


• *Brilliant, Rhodes!You messed up big time! *

And then the *peep* of an incoming message.Pheew!

*ok. Naked . Can do that. If you will, too*

*AH.Naked! The two of us naked. With you and me naked I can imagine quite a lot of other things to do than going to a gallery…*

*Roger, please ! as if la diva would ever go naked ! it¨s just not classy !*

*NOT CLASSY ?So I can come naked, and you not…are you just telling me that I¨m not classy, Rhodes ?*

*I^d never do that, handsome drummer. It^s more that YOU naked would be very classy and I would just be classier when dressed*

*What are we doing here? Some strange kind of texting sex??*

*Naw, Nick, I think we would both look very classy Like Ying and Yang.Interesting contrast.Your pale skin and blond hair, me tanned and dark*

*Roger??? Are you flirting with me? Ying and Yang ?I^m going to die here !
………. Nice contrast? Cool down, Rhodes, cool down. I¨s just fun. All easy*

*We would definetly be the sexiest ying and yang on planet earth.But we have to save that for summer,I guess. So the sparkling rainbow suit will do*

I just had to cut it here.keeping contol, you know?

*OK, precious diva. Meet you there at 8?*

*Perfect.I^ll be in time. I swear ;) *

*Great! Thanks for the invitation*

Confused, yet again,I scrolled back our conversation.
And I decided it was time to take full control again. Otherwise this confusion would kill me.


7.55. Notting Hill Gate.
I was perfectly in time. No handsome drummer in sight yet.Good. A bit more time to sort myself out.
I had some sort of plan for just couldn^t go on like this.
We needed to come to terms.

Well, i had to laugh when you came around the corner, though
You were stunning, as always,in a somewhat champagner colored suit, matching so well with my black one. Ying and Yang
„Good to see you, handsome drummer“
„ The pleasure is all mine, precious diva“ We hugged shortly and then you held your arm out for me.
I hooked in, enjoying the feeling of your muscles under my fingers.

The event itself would have been quite boring without your company. A bunch of high society snobs pretending to know something about art
At least they had champagne and canapees. Not so fancy at all.

But then a band started to play, and some people were dancing.
„ » May I ask you for a dance, Mr Taylor? »“
« Anytime, Mr Rhodes »

This was when the best part of the evening begun.
We had a short kind of fight about who¨s leading, but I¨m the controller, remember?
No more confusion, Full control.

You are such a good dancer, my Roger. Before that evening I never had danced with a man in public.

I enjoyed it so much

And then they played James Blunt. Beautiful.
I pulled you closer. I know, I used to hate James Blunt, But who cares ?

„Do you remember,Roger, when we first met?“ I wispered against your shoulder.
„ I sure do“ you replied « I had this song playing in my head the whole day, beautiful Nick »

„ You just have stolen my text, beautiful Roger“I laughed in disbelief.“ So, handsome drummer, tell me, honestly, what is it? You and me? Is it all just fun for you?“

You stepped back, looking absolutely puzzled.
„ Fun? You think it^s all fun for me? Why do you think so, Nick?“

I pulled you close again „Let^s go, Roger, let¨s go somewhere where we can talk.. We definetly need to talk“

„ My flat is just around the corner, Nick.We can go to my home, if you don¨t mind“

So we left that oh so fancy event, which best part was a James-Blunt-song. Hand in hand, not speaking a word until you had unlocked your door and we stepped into your home.

„ A drink? I need one, to be honest. Something strong. What about you ? » you asked nervous.

When we had settled onto your quite inviting sofa, two triple shots of Whisky on the table, you asked again: “Why do you think it^s all fun for me? What have I done to make you think that?“

„ I don¨t think it^s all fun for you, Roger.I just never …I…since I¨ve first met you, I^m so not myself. I don^t know how to put it. Whenever you are near, it seems like my brain refuses to work properly.and it^s driving me mad. I can¨t go on like this. Please, Roger, please tell me, what is it?

Here we go. Coming to terms indeed.Not what i had planned, but even better.

You let out a quiet laugh.

« I^ll tell you. Will take me a while.You know, for the last 2 years or so life really sucked for me
.I just failed on so many levels. First, I broke up with the man i^ve been with for 4 years.

He was one of my teachers at Gastronomy school, married, so we had to hide.And I was just sick of hiding, sick of being the secret lover. So i ended it.

Then, because of the emotional stress,,,i^m way too emotional , you know…I failed the final test at school, which I would have needed to get my certificate.

The plan was to open a restaurant with a friend of mine, but no certificate, no restaurant.
No certificate, no money from the bank.

Not only had i ruined my own future also my friend¨s,
Within the last year we managed to build up a catering service.
That and the work in a small private club saved us from financial desaster.
But still, I destroyed our dream of running our own restaurant, just because I couldn^t get over this guy.
And I have sworn to myself, Nick, that something like this will never ever happen to me again.
Neither I want to be someone¨s secret lover nor I will let go off my dreams for someone,“
You stopped to take a sip of Whisky. „ Sorry for that monologue, but i want you to understand,ok?“

„ There¨s nothing you have to be sorry for.Go ahead“

„ About a few months ago i decided to go for another dream.
The drumming. I hadn^t exercised for quite a long time, and it took me a while to get my old skills back
.Had a few auditions , but nothing really worked out.
.Sonya, my friend i^m running the catering with, then had some trouble with the bakery we used to work with, and we thought we should learn to do it ourself. The baking I mean.
3 weeks ago i was on my way to the bakery class, when a very attractive green eyed Bowie-ish guy just took the seat next to mine :: » You smiled at me and chuckled

« Oh, a very attractive green-eyed guy,,,really ? »

*Sounds good.Bowie-ish. Very attractive. Sounds good*

« Aye, I tell you ! And I could have sworn he was staring at me all the time
.So I switched off the earphones, to hear if he might would say something, and i heard him laughing quietly several times.I wonder what he was laughing about“

You moved a little closer, stretching out one arm on the backrest of the sofa.

• *Very subtile, Roger…*

« Maybe he laughed because that filmstar like handsome guy on the seat next to him who smelled so damn good and had the most wonderful hair ever was reading a book called * the joy of,,,* and all this really really odd guy could think about was sex » i smirked., leaning against your arm there on the backrest

You bursted out in laughter.
My favorite kind of laughter.
The full one, with your head tilted back and the wrinkles and tears in your eyes.

*I love you. Oh my god, I love you*

When you were able to breathe again, you jumped up from the sofa, walked over to the bookshelf to come back with a book, holding it up in front of me
“ The joy of sex, mh?“
And we both had to laugh hysterically until tears ran down our faces.


„ So much for the odd thoughts of certain green eyed Bowie-ish guys“ You finally grinned when you sat next to me again.

Close to me. VERY close
I had to wipe away the tears from my eyes, still chuckling,

„Let me continue before I^m losing my nerves here, Nick » you started again.
« Let me be honest, this man in the tube…You. You, Nick, you actually are the first guy in two years who really has caught my attention.
But then, a stranger in the tube ? What can I do? ? Oh, hi there, my name is Roger, and I think you are very attractve ? »

I had to laugh about that.
„ You know, Roger, I was thinking the same about just holding out my hand and saying hi,I¨m Nick. But then, the risk of being punched right in the face by some homophobic straight guy who is not amused about a fuckin faggott flirting with him…“

„That is the most frustrating part of being gay,isn^t it“ you said. „ That you never know“

„ Indeed.And then you just disappeared and James Blunt started to drive me insane“ I sighed.

„ Yeah“ you took your glass and emptied it in one gulp.“Until this audition... I thought I would fall dead from my stool when you walked in .And then you acted ..kind of strange..I mean, Simon, John and even Andy, they were so easy to deal with, but appeared somehow reserved.“

„ Reserved? Roger, my problem was that the moment I walked in, the moment I saw you, my brain refused to work. As I have told you before, this is what happens when you are near. And then I will do or say something really strange, such as Hi there Roger with the bad fuck habits ..“

• *Or thinking about you on your knees with hands folding back behind your neck…“

You laughed
„ I don¨t have any fuck habits at all for the last 2 years. You know, picking up someone in a gay club for a quickie is not my cup of tea. And finding someone for a serious relationship was not on my list. There were other, more important things. And then you came, Nick. Precious diva. You said, your brain refuses to work, Nick…well, so does mine. I^m scared, though. Bad experiences with having a relationship with someone you have to work with..the teacher, remember? Matter of fact, Nick. I like you. Very much.I have a crush on you since the day we met in the tube. And it scares me.Because it^s been a while since I… » you trailed off.

« Don¨t be scared. Don^t be. »

• *Close. You are so close.I have to kiss you. I have to touch you*

It was actually you who made the first move. A very unexpected move. You reached out a hand to touch my cheek. Just slightly, with your fingertips.I had to close my eyes.

So gentle, you are.

I cupped your hand with mine, bringing it to my lips and kissed these fingers, which had touched me ever so lightly.

• *Brain refuses to work*

When we first kissed, my Roger, earth stood still. It^s such an overused phrase, earth stood still. But it¨s true. It did.

I burried my fingers in your wonderful silky hair
*slow down, slow down, Rhodes! Not too firmly. No hair pulling. All easy*

Your lips so soft, so sweet. The taste of whisky mixed with your very own taste.So inviting.My tongue exploring the warmth of your mouth, sliding over the sharp edges of your teeth.
I nearly died from the nice little noises you made.

When we parted, after what seemed to have been an eternity,we both took a deep breath, what made us laugh again.
Once again I reached out to caress your hair.

« I¨m developing a Roger-hair-fetish here, you know ? »
« I like that » you whispered and put your head to my chest.
So I kept on
.I could have done that forever.
It took me a while to notice that you said something.
« Sorry, what ? »

« I like it to go out with you. Today has been the first time ever that I had a *norml date* Doing normal things, like dancing.outside of some spooky gay bar.I really really like that. Holding hands with you in public.Isn’t it sad that so many of us are still hiding away?“

„It is.I don^t understand this.If more gay couples would show up in public, I think people would stop to make such a drama about it .And it would help to fix some of these annoying cliches.“

„ Exactly! Interested in having dinner with me tomorrow in a very nice mecxican restaurant? Including holding hands and sharing kisses?“

„ I^d love that, handsome drummer! Talking about sharing kisses…“

And this time it felt even better than the first.
I got completely lost in the kiss, pressed against you, your arms…those wonderful arms…around me. My hands found the buttons of your shirt and I was about to open the third one, when I noticed that you had stiffened in my arms and pulled back slightly.

*Slow down…slow down…slow down*

„ It^s ok, Roger, it^s ok.“ I whispered in your ear. „ No sex at first date. I just want to touch you, ok ? Want to feel your skin under my hands Want to feel your muscles, want to look at you… » I continued to open the buttons and pushed the fabric off your shoulders :
« You are beautiful » I let my fingers trail over your bare chest. You tilted your head back,lips slightly parted, and let out yet another of those wonderful noises.
If you would have known, my Roger, how hard I had to fight with myself in this moment. How much overcoming power I needed to resist going any further.The noises you make during sex are such a turn on for me.
Oh, great ! now I have to think about our first night. The first time we had sex.

November 2004
It happened only a week after our first date.
With John being back to LA . band business slowed down a bit, but the remaining four of us met up a few times for jamming.
Andy and Simon were very easy with us being a couple, and after playing we ended up in the pub with them more than once.
That evening Trace and Yasmin had joined us there, and we sat in the back all together, chatting and having a good time. You and me holding hands and sharing kisses in public, like always.You enjoyed that so much, after all those years of hiding.
Yasmin, who is having a little Roger-crush, leaned over to us. „ Roger, you and Nick have to come over for dinner. Saffron and Amber are so curious about you. They want to meet their godfathers boyfriend“

„ I^d love that. Didn’t know that Nick is the godfather of your girls. I¨m the one of my brother`s daughters. They must be same age. If there is one thing I hate about being gay, it is not to be able to have kids. If you need a babysitter , let me know, I love being with kids“
„ Uh oh“ Simon interrupted „ Be careful what you wish for, mate! Teenage girls can be hell, I tell you!

„ True“ Andy said.

And with that, the parents between us started a discussion about teenagers, and the two of us were a bit out of it.

„ Are you sad about it?“ I asked

« About what ? »

« Not to be able to have your own children »

„“Ah, no. Not^s ok to have my nieces around. Proud uncle, I am“

„ Gorgeous uncle you are“ I said, pulling you close for a kiss.

« Gorgeous godfather you are » you returned the favour

Andy asked if you are interested in a round of billard, and a few minutes later Yasmin and I had a deja vu at it^s best.

Like before, you turned to us with that eyebrow raised.

„ »He^s loveley“ Yasmin smiled at me. « I’m so happy for you“

„ I^m one happy man indeed“ I answered, staring at your butt yet again.

„ I bet that this sexy ass looks even better when not covered by jeans“ she giggled.

„ Not that it would be any of your business , Yas, but as much as I want to agree with you, I don^t know. Never have seen that handsome guy uncovered.

• *Thanks a lot, Yas, thanks a lot.Now I have something to think about*

« What a shame » Yasmin said.

Oh yes, what a shame ! And I, the controller, thought that it^s time for the next step.

I went for the restrooms. For the condom automat in there, to be exact.
And when I took the small pack out of the machine, I heard your voice behind me.

„ Having plans for tonight, precious diva?“

Slowly I turned , condoms in hand.

You stood there, arms crossed, eyebrows raised, a wicked smile on your face.

« Always good to be prepared, isn^t it?“ I grinned.

„ Great minds think alike“ you said, pulling a few coins out of your jeans pocket « I came here with the same thought »
„ It^s all taken care of, Mr Taylor. Call us a taxi, will you? „ Controller mode big time.

« As you wish, sir » With an implied bow you left, and once more I was utterly puzzled.
*what the hell???? WHAT THE HELL??*

It took me quite a while to sort myself out. You were joking. Were you joking ?

We hugged our friends goodbye and I remember Yasmin whispering in my ear „ Go for it“
We didn^t speak while we drove to my place. It was a non verbal conversation. Your hand on my knee, my hand burried in your hair.

I sometimes wonder, my Roger, what would have had happened that night if I would not had stored all the toys away. If I had left everything visible for you.A pair of steel cuffs. A cane. Maybe a paddle. Or even the steel crop.
But then, I think it had to be the way it was.Because it was perfect. I would not want to change anything.


There we were, finally.In my flat.
„ Coffee?“ I suggested.
« Whisky, rather. If you don^t mind »
« Nervous, handsome drummer? » I asked while I was pouring us more than a shot each.
« Excited, I^d say » And you hugged me from behind, pressed your body against mine.
„ You obviously are“ I smiled, feeling your hardness throbbing against my butt.
I turned, handed you a glass. » Cheers,my Roger »

« Am I ? Your Roger?“ You asked amused.

« Tonight you will be. All mine, handsome drummer. »

We stood still, eyes locked to each other, slowly drinking the whisky. There was no need to rush.
I enjoyed the feeling, the knowledge of what would surely happen tonight and I think, you did , too.
I was the first to be finished with the drink and I put my glass back to the counter, never losing eye contact with you.
You emptied your glass as well, put it away, slightly touching my arm when you did so.

It was as if something would go * click* in my brain.

I had to grab your neck, a bit too violently, maybe, to kiss you with full force, and you left out one of these sweet little moans in response
That sound was all I needed to continue , and I undressed you right there in my kitchen, eager to see my handsome drummer naked.


I don^t have to tell you that you are such a beautiful creature, have I?
Your body so strong, so well-shaped and still, there is this visible vulerability of yours, which one would not expect.

„God, Roger ! I want you. I want you so much it hurts“ My hands explored your body and I was rewarded with a number of wonderful noises from you.
When I finally touched your rock hard erection for the first time, you nearly jumped. Your hands , your strong, masculine hands found the hem of my shirt and I had to let go of your cock to allow you to undress me.
You unzipped my pants, pushing them down just all together with my underpants and fell on your knees to take my shoes and socks off.

*Roger.Naked.In front of me.On his knees.God.Dear God*

I burried my fingers in your hair , utterly overwhelmed by this image.

My turn to jump when you took me in your mouth without warning.

I had to hold on to your shoulders. The feeling of your lips, your tongue, the moist warmth of your mouth nearly knocked me off my feet.
« Aaah, Rrrrrogerrrr »I moaned and it looked like I would be not the only one turned on by such noises.You nearly sent me over the edge with the perfect combination of tender licking and gentle sucking. So wonderful, so intense
I have never been a fan of oral sex, at least as the passive part.
It¨s the *control thing*, I guess.
But with you it was and it still is different. With you, I don^t have to be always in control and I can get lost completely.

And I nearly got lost there in the kitchen, but I wanted more than that, I wanted all of you.


With the last remaining bit of self-control I managed to whisper: „ Dear God, Roger, stop it. Please.I don`t want to come yet“ You looked up to me, with the most beautiful bedroom eyes ever, licked your lips as if you^d still savouring my taste and said ; « I^d like you to come inside of me »
« Oh, handsome, believe me, I¨d like that, too. Very much.But not that fast and not that way“ I held out a hand for you and pulled you up directly into a longing, passionate kiss
You were right. About the *interesting contrast*

„ Not that way, uh?“ you chuckled against my shoulder and placed soft kisses along my neck until you found my earlobe to lick it tenderly. „ I^ll be all yours, precious Nick.It^s been a while for me, so be gentle, will you?“

Your absolute honesty and your trust in me was utterly moving.
I had almost forgotten about the fact that you had not been with a man for about two years.

„ I will.Promised“ I took your hand and led you to the bedroom. „Oh. Wait.I^ll be right back. Don^t run away“ I smiled and kissed you again
My brain was still not working properly when you were near, I guess, since I had left
the condoms in the pockets of my pants.
I had to laugh about the mess in the kitchen, our clothes all over the floor. Took me a while to find what I was looking for.
Back to the bedroom I had to stop at the doorway.
You. In my bed.All naked.

„ I could get used to that sight“ I said.

„Oh, me too, if you only would come a little closer. »

I joined you there, in my bed, and pulled you as close as I could.
And again, we explored each other with hands and lips and tongues, trying to find out what the other one likes.gentle, very slow, more driven by curiousity than pure lust.
Fascinating. It felt like *the first time* somehow. Well, it was. Our first time.


But you know what I mean.I never had opened up that much for someone before.I never had allowed someone to be so near. So intimate.
I always had kept some distance to my lovers, thought, it would not work with too much feelings, too much tenderness. Back then, I didn^t know that you felt the same about it. It took us a while to find out. To find out, that we where literally made for each other.That we would be able to live a life none of us thought would be possible to live.
But back to our first night:
Sure, with us being so close to each other, with the rising heat and the desperate longing for more, it was only a question of time that lust took over.

It was when I licked one of your perfect nipples, since you seemed to be very sensitive there , according to your moans, that you whispered: „ Fuck me. I want you inside of me.Please,fuck me“.
As much as I had tried to ban all that Dom/sub- related thoughts about me and you, your simple, honest plead triggered me with such a force, that it took me quite a lot of willpower to not switch into some kind of *Dom-mode*

Not interrupting my tongueplay, I reached for the drawer of my nightstand with one hand and opened it to get out the lube.

„Nick.Please“ you repeated, eyes closed.

„Roger“ I lifted my head from your chest . „ Roger, look at me, will you? I know, it^s been a while for you. But you don^t have forgotten that we^ll need some preparation first, have you, you impatient thing »

With dark, fogged eyes you watched me, as I kneeled between your legs
The cold fluid at your puckered entrance made you quiver.and when my finger slid into you, your eyes fell close,.I could feel your tension while a second finger joined and I started to work you open for me
.“ It^s ok.“ I rested one hand on your chest, finding a nipple again to caress it with my thumb. « It^s ok. Relax, luv.Relax. »

You lifted your hips,forced me to get deeper inside and I knew you were ready for me.
I took my fingers out to roll the condom over my cock, and again you watched me.
Watched, how I positioned myself , how I slowly entered you.
You gasped, eyes still open and fixed at mine and encouraged me with little thrusts of your hip.
The feeling of your tightness around me was delicious.The look in your face by far the most beautiful image of pure lust I ever had seen
„ Fuck me.Nick, Please. God! Ich have missed that so much! So much!“

No further invitation was needed and what started ever so careful and slow ended with me literally pounding you into the mattress.
First of three times that night. We definately scared a few of my neighbours.
When we finally fell asleep, all sweaty and sticky, the room filled with the scent of lust and that unique eau de drummer, the last thing I heard was the rhythm of your strong, steady heartbeat .My most favourite rhythm. Yours.

When I woke up the next morning; I found you laying beside me, watching me again chin resting in your palm, up to one elbow,
„ Good morning, sleeping beauty“ you smiled and let your fingers trail over my hair.
« Not sleeping any more. Good morning, my Roger. »
We kissed and I buried my fingers in your hair, as always.
„ What about breakfast in bed? I went to the grocery store earlier. There was absolutely nothing in your fridge, you know“ you said warmly and I noticed the smell of coffee and food.
„ For how long have you been awake yet?‘“ I wondered.

« Quite a long time, couldn^t sleep. »
« Are you ok ? I mean.. »
« I^m fine. All fine, Nick. Just overwhelmed with emotions.I have told you, I^m way too emotional. I…well…it^s just…“

„ Been a while, I know. Same here“ I pulled you close and we held each other for a few minutes, until you got up to get us breakfast.

I watched you leaving the bedroom and all I could think was.*God. I love him so much. I want this to last.Please*

It was the first of many mornings like that. Since that night we stayed together almost every night, unless you had to work at the club or a catering do.

John came back from LA the next day, together with Gela, and all of us were invited for dinner by the Le Bons for the following Sunday.
You had baked a cake to bring it, and we both giggled the whole way to their house about the* joy of baking.*

Everything was so easy with you, so drama free, so natural. Sex with you was ever so satisfying. And I begun to believe that it could work, like I told to myself that evening after we celebrated that you are our drummer.That I really could ban this sinister part of my personality.As long as I can be with you.

I was very touched to see how Amber and Saffron reacted when they first met you at that dinner, since they never had seen me with a man before.Of course, they knew that I am gay, but knowing something and seeing something are two different pairs of shoes, right?
When we arrived at the Le Bon home, we were surounded by two bouncing girls as soon as we got out of the car.
They hugged me and then turned to you, smiling all over.
„ »Hi. I^m Saffron. Are you Nicks boyfriend ? »
„I^m Amber. And sure he^s Nicks boyfriend, you silly.“
„ Hi ladies, nice to meet you, I^m Roger, and yes, I am Nicks boyfriend“
The three of you liked each other from the first moment on.
My godchildren had always been very important for me, and I was very happy that they immediately accepted you.
They implied to sit on each side of you during dinner and you were joking
around the whole time.
But this was nothing compared to what we all witnessed when the littlest Lebonling, Tallulah, woke up and Yas came to you with the 2 year old in her arms.
„ See, Lulah, this is Roger, say hi!“
Her big blue eyes widened and she stretched out her chubby arms, nearly jumping from her mothers grip.
Yasmin laughed and handed her over to you, and the girl flung her arms around your neck, placing a very wet kiss on your nose.
„ Hi there, sweetie“ you chuckled , kissing her back.
„ That^s what you call love at first sight, i^d say“ Simon grinned., when his youngest grabbed your hair to mess it all up.
„ Welcome to the Roger-hair-fetish-club, Lulah“ I said.

Another of these pure Roger-moments to remember.
It always makes me smile to think about this very special relationship between Lulah and you.
She had some problems to pronounce your name, and for a while you have been *Otchee* for her. That one day when she came into the studio with Yas, climbing into your lab and said *Roooooogerrrr* for the first time, you cried..

Too emotional, you call it. I say it^s honesty. It’s being yourself.. Always.


A couple of weeks later, band business was going well, we already had the first club gigs, an old friend called me
„ Hey, Nick! How^s it going?“

Not knowing that this call would change my life forever in a way I would never would have had expected, I had to swallow hard by the sound of his voice.

Not that I don^t like Michael. I do. He used to be one of my closest friends.The one knowing more about me than even John does.

See, my Roger, that was the problem.

With his voice everything came back.Everything I had banned. And my brain got overflooded with images and memories. I didn^t want that. I so didn^t want that.

I^d met Michael about 10 years ago.
In a SM-club.
We figured that we were really one of a kind. Both keyboard-players, both gay. Both dominant.

„ Nick? You there?“ his voice came out of my mobile
« Michael- long time no talk » I managed to say.

« Indeed. Saw your band playing at Heavens last Saturday. You should have told me¨I was utterly surprised.“

« Sorry about that. » I felt bad about not calling him for such a long time. He^s a friend, for god’s sake, it^s not about SM only.
„ Would you ever have told me about Duran Duran being finally completed and having gigs? I^m happy for you, mate! You and John, you dreamt about it for so long »

« Again, Michael, I can only apologise. It^s ..I… »

„It¨s that drummer, huh ? Roger. I^ve met John a while ago, he told me about you two. You should bring him . We can meet in the club. »

The simple thought about that made me laugh in frustration.

Michael had opened his own SM-Club about a year ago. I was invited for the opening, but just around that time John, Simon, Andy and me had decided to be more serious with Duran Duran, and my head was full of other things. No distraction needed.

« Nick ? What^s the matter ? »

„ Sorry again.It was just the thought of bringing Roger to your Club. He^s not…he^s not into it“

Chapter Text

„ Ah, I see. Must be something in the air. I have a good friend who told me the same.that he^s with someone who^s not into it. You know what? Why not coming over, see me at the club? It^s not open for public today, staff only. We have to do some rearrangements and stocktaking, Very dull work, Could need some company. You owe me that, Nick. For not telling me about the gigs.“ Michael laughed.

He was right. I owed him something.

You were at work and you won^t come back until early morning, so I agreed, althought it felt almost like betraying you.

Michael would pick me up in about an hour and we^d drive to his club.

Deep in thoughts I went to my bedroom, our bedroom actually. I had to sort myself out. I needed you near.I burried my face in your pillow, inhaling your scent.

Just a chat. With an old friend. In a SM-Club. Sometimes Karma is a bitch.

Michael arrived in time, and it was good to see him,despite all doubts.
We were chatting about keyboards an music and the band and I was telling him about your wonderful work at save a prayer, ever so proud of you.

When we entered his club, it looks almost like a common bar, if not for the suspension point in the middle of the room and a small sign saying *Playrooms*

Above the bar counter there was another sign. Black with blood red letters.
*Black velvet*

Two people behind the counter, a man and a woman, who wore black T-shirts with blood red letters *black velvet*


*your well fittet black tee with a blood red print. Black velvet, it

• I apologise for being late. Some trouble at work*

I heard Michael talking to me

« Here we have Sonya and Carlos »

• *…me and my friend Sonya…..working in a small private club….*

Michaels voice again.
„ That^s the Velvet-Team. Oh, wait, one is missing“
And he called you. He called your name
A door flung open and¨

„ What? Michael, I^m fixing the fuck…“ You froze. And we stared at each other like rabbits in the flashlights.


*brain refuses to work*

Sureal. It was sureal
« Ok, here we go » Michael started again. » Roger, this is my very dear friend Nick. Nick, this is my very dear friend Roger. Beside the fact that you two are complete idiots, I like you both very much. Sorry for this little plot here, but someone had to do something. Have I mentioned that you are idiots? *Not into it* my ass! You two will sit down and talk, here and now. Idiots“

I don^t know who of us started, but we, you and me, broke out into hysterical laughter. I finally managed to move and pulled you in my arms.
There we stood, holding each other tight, laughing like crazy. Like Idiots.

It took me a while to notice that your laughter had changed into desperate sobbing.

« It^s ok. All ok, my Roger.“

I caressed your hair and had to fight to hold back the tears. Had to be strong now, for you, even if those new findings were too much to bear.

„ It is so not ok.Nothing is ok.I..“ you looked at me, puzzled and shocked „ I don`t know how to handle this, Nick. I need…I have to…just give me some time. Have to finish my work »

And you turned and went back to were you came from, closing the door behind you.

I felt quite affronted and wanted to follow you immediatly, when Michael placed a hand on my arm. « Let him. That^s his way of dealing with it. He needs to be on his own and he needs something to do. To sort himself out. He will be back“


That^s what you did after our first night, my Roger, right? When you went to the grocery store and prepared breakfast. Your way of dealing with it. With overwhelming emotions.

He led me to the bar and we sat down. That guy, Carlos, handed me a shot glass filled with whatever.
« I think you can need one of those, hm ? »

Sonya…your friend Sonya…smiled at me « This is by far the oddest story I^ve ever heard. Two people , so in love with each other that they are frightened to show who they really are, because they think that would scare the other one away.Not realizing, that their needs are matching so perfectly. I hope, you are not mad at us, Nick. But like Michael said, someone had to do something about it.“

„Yeppers.“ Michael said. „ Took me quite a while to realize that this * Nick* he was talking about all the time is you. At first.I thought I should not interfere. I thought, you two would find out yourself.But well, you obviously didn^t. Then I started to annoy Roger with stupid * dominant Keyboard player* jokes, like, you know, we are all dominant, because it^s the only instrument someone can kneel under,we know which buttons to push, blah blah. And he got so mad at me one day, that he almost had punched me right in the face. That was not the Roger I knew. We …Sonya, Carlos and me…have talked about it a lot. Should we just tell him ? Do we have the right to do it ? Should I tell YOU? Sonya came up with the plan to bring you here, and we decided it^s the best way. It wasn^t John who have told me about Roger and you. It was Roger himself“

I wasn^t able to speak yet.Too much information. Too many feelings.
How the hell should I deal with that?

Carlos handed me another glass and we sat there in silence.
Well, it wasn^t so silent, there were a lot of noises from the room you disappeared into.

Hammering.The sound of a drilling machine.

„ What is he doing in there ?‘“ I wondered, more speaking to myself than to anyone.

„ Fixing the St. Andrew^s cross. Or, as he would say, the fucking monstrous divice.“ Carlos laughed.

« Ah. And I really thought it couldn^t get more sureal“ I chuckled.

The noise stopped and then we heard you : „ FUCKFUCKFUCK!“

Now, THAT was something familiar! It took away quite a lot of worries from me, your often heard * fuck-mantra*, as you call it..

You are Roger. My Roger. The same Roger who had left for work a few hours ago, the same who kissed me goodbye and said * see you in the morning, precious diva. I will bring breakfast.*

« You need help there ? » Carlos asked loud to be heard by you.
« Naw. It^s a thing between that fucking monstreous divice and me, thank you. » came the answer.

It was a good hour later when you finally came out, all sweaty,drilling machine in hand, with a triumphantly smile on your face.
„ Ha! Done!“
The velvet-team applauded and cheered.
You put the maschine aside, let out a sigh and fixed me with big brown eyes.
« I don^t know what^s the more difficult task. Fixing heavy wooden crosses or to havîng to have this conversation with you now. »

Honest as always, you.

Another sigh and you were beside me,put your head to my shoulder
„ I would never ever have guessed to see you in here. Sorry about running away. It was a bit too much. It still is.“

„Well, Roger“ Michael grinned. „ If you had listened to me, to what I told you about keyboard…“

„ Michael! Shut the fuck up“ you interupted, blushing all over. „ You should have told me, Nick. You should have »

At first it irritated me that you started this important conversation in front of your friends, but I quickly understood that you needed them around. Needed their presence.

« And how the hell should I have done that, Roger ? See, the day when you became our drummer and you told everyone that you are * not interested in girls*, when we hugged at the taxi stand and you said something about my beautiful eyes, I decided not to challenge fate any more. Fair enough that the handsome guy from the tube became our drummer. Fair enough that he is gay. How high are the chances that he shares my …sexual preferences or however you^d call it. ? I was utterly afraid that I would scare you away before we even had the chance to know each other better . And then just the thought of losing you became unbearable. How should I have known, Roger?. »

« Same here. « you whispered. « I wanted to tell you. That evening at my place. I really wanted. But then…it was such a wonderful feeling to do all those normal things that lovers do. Dancing and kissing and holding hands and joking around and being so near to each other, without any annoying rules . without any …let^s call it* role-specific * boundaries. And with every day we spent together, every night, the thought of telling you about…how did you say…my sexual preferences, became more and more…I don^t know…ridiculous. Plus , I think…I thought…I can^t have both.Those * normal things* , this wonderful closeness we have and ..and…well, the *Pain and rules*-part.* You know, the…man..I told you about, the relationship I had…“

You were fighting like hell. Fighting for words, fighting with emotions. With shame, even, and it was heartbreaking.

„You don`t have to tell me right now“ I kissed your hair.

Sonya reached out a hand to touch your back.
« Let me help you. Let me tell Nick how we met and what^s happened. .Allow me to help you, Roger. Let^s go over to the Lounge corner.Carlos, bring some drinks. Michael, some coffee is also needed.“

„ Bossy, she is, huh?“ you chuckled against my shoulder.

Once we had made ourselves comfortable, you in my arm, your head resting at my shoulder, Sonya begun;
« OK. Hm. Where to start…Madame Claire`s ? So, Nick, as you may have guessed, I^m a femdom, and I have a friend named Claire, who owns a nice little Villa in Brighton. She organizes private parties there,SM- Parties. The best parties ever, if you^d ask me. About …5 years ago,there was an event called * Night of Decadance* Brilliant. Ball robes , candelabers, various interesting very usable furnitures…and the best buffet ever. I^m a cook, you know, and I^m very critical when it comes to food, but that one was delicious. All of it. So I asked Claire were she got it from. And she told me about a very talented guy named Roger, who is the sub of a friend of her^s.“

My heart jolted at this point, Roger. First time I^`ve heard it, spoken out loud, what was so obvious since Michael had called your name in here earlier.
Roger is a sub. My Roger is a sub.

« And I had to meet this talented guy and went to the kitchen, after been told he would be there.For quite a while I stood there, watching him…I knew it was him, even if the kitchen was filled with people.It was like finding your soulmate. I^can^t explain it. Finally there was someone who seemed to love the cooking, the food, as much as I do. I needed to talk to him, so I stepped in , asking * Roger, you are ? and he turned, smiling, and asked back: *and who wants to know that?* That was it for the party. I stayed in the kitchen, helping Roger, and we talked the whole time. Long talk short sense: We ended up at 5 am at Roger^s, making plans „

„ The restaurant. I told you about that“ you said.

« And it was some good plan. And it would have worked out, if not..if that asshole would not have been such an asshole“ Sonya continued „ The asshole. Allan. He^d been with Roger for a year when we first met. Me and Rog.Calls himself a Dom, but hes just an asshole. Married, lying to his wife and kids permanently and using others to gratify his own ego. Using Roger, in particular“

„ Sonya…“ you muttered, and I could tell by your tension that you felt quite unconfortable.

„ Only telling the truth here, Roger! He always gave you the feeling not to be good enough. He laughed at you when you told him about our plan.He never trusted in any of your skills. The cooking. Gastronomy school. Playing drums. He talked everything bad. And he did so because he knew that you are way stronger and better than he would ever be.But that , of course, was against his stupid rules, wasn^t it? Not suitable for a *real* D/s-relationship. That psycho, my dear Nick, is the reason why he thinks it^s not possible to have both. Allan talked him into that crap for four years. . »

« *He* is sitting here, you know ! Yes, you are right, Sonya, Allan did not do me any good. Easy to say now, more than two years later. It^s just that my brain works different when in sub-mode. Maybe it doesn^t work at all.“

You fixed at Sonya and you spoke with Sonya, but we all knew that you actually were talking to me.

.“ I think the problem was, that I was focused on the D/s-construction way too much. And that is…it^s just…not healthy.“


„ I totally agree with that“ Michael said „ It^s not healthy. It’s not healthy without the other side. So, you say you can^t have both, I say it can^t work without both sides.We used to talk about it very often, Nick,remember ? »

„ Sure. I always have been a bit jealous of what you have with Jason. »

Jason, Michael^s partner, lover, sub for more than 5 years.

« But I see Roger^s point » I continued, pulling you even closer. »To be to focused on this is never any good. It should not be the basis of a relationship..And therefore, as confusing as it is right now, I^m glad that we had time to built up a fundament first. This four-letter-word, you know ? I love you, Roger .»

I kissed you, and this kiss wasn¨t only a kiss. It was a promise. A confession.

« Nick ? » you whispered breathless, as we parted.. « Do you think It^s possible ? Do you think…we can have both ? »
« Yes. Yes, my Roger, I think we can. If both of us will be completly honest to each other…and if we will be honest to ourselves…I think we can. »

« I will need some time » you sighed « I have not…I have not really realized it yet. This whole situation is still a bit…unreal. »

Unreal. Yes. It was unreal. You here in my arms , your head at my shoulder, like so often before, so familiar but somehow different.

Exhausted, tired and filled with emotions we took a taxi at 6 in the morning
You went to the grocery store, wich is open 24 hours a day, and then we sat together in the kitchen.

„ Oh well, what an interesting night“ you grinned
„ You can say so“ I smiled back.

„ Nick… I love you. And I …I want this to last. I would never have guessed…oh god, I^m just totally puzzled“

„ I Iove you too, my Roger, and to be honest , right now I^m feeling as dominant as a pink jelly bean »

You laughed. God, how I love that.

„ Would you ever have told me?“ you asked.

« I don^t know » I admitted. » Maybe. Maybe not. A part of me hoped that you^ll find out, I guess »

« And how should I have find out ? »

„ By opening the bottom drawer of the commode in the bedroom, for example. I stored all the equipment in there“

„ Uh. Equipment. What kind of equipment?“

„ Go have a look if you want“
My heartbeat fastened. Not that I wanted to use any of it, not now, not yet, but the thought that you would see it all was…thrilling.

Without a word you went to the bedroom.

There was no intention to follow you. I wanted you to be on your own, to make your own decisions about what you^d find there. Nonetheless, I was nervous like hell.

It took you about 30 minutes to come back.
Still without a word , you poured us some more coffee.
It would make no sense to go to bed now, since we would have to be in the studio at 9.

„ Quite an equipment“ you finally said.“ Often used ?’ »

« Most of it never used. I just wanted to be prepared.“

„ Quite similar to my own stuff, you know“

« Really ? Often used ? »

« Never used. Just wanted to be prepared. »

We smiled and I took your hand in mine.

„ This is a really odd conversation, isn^t it ? » you chuckled.

« Indeed. But a necessary one, I think »

« According to your equipment, you are quite sadistic, I assume ? »

« Only if wanted. What I^m in it for are reactions. Sometimes pain provokes wonderful reactions. According to your similar equipment, it^s something you like, I assume ? »

You laughed again.

« Pain ? Yes. Very much. »

« Favorite Instrument ? »

« Drums » you grinned and once again, we broke out in laughter.

I was glad that we were still able to keep this easyness between us.

Chapter Text

Simon and the rest of the gang were very upset when we showed up in the studio, ever so tired.

We apologised about it a million times.

« it was important. Very important,believe me » you explained. « Something that couldn^t wait. I^m sorry. As a small compensation, I would like to invite you all for dinner tomorrow. Some friends of mine will be there, too. Bring wifes and kids“

You told me later, that Sonya and you wanted to test the venue and menue for a wedding you were booked to do the catering for.

It was such a wonderful evening. All of us together.
First time I saw you in work mode. Sonya and you are one hell of a team, and everybody was praising your food.
Michael and Carlos were there, too, also a woman named Claire, who was obviously Madame Claire, the one with the Villa in Brighton.
She came over to me when we were finished with the dessert
„ Would you mind to get out for a fag? I could need some company »
« Sure » I said, slightly surprised.

« He looks good. Roger.Happy » she started, once we were outside and had lightened our cigarettes.

« He does » I agreed.

« I just wanted to thank you » Claire said.

« What for ? » I wondered
„ For making him happy.You know, I have spoken with Sonya about the parties I used to organize. I know that she has told you about them. I thought it would be a pleasure to have you two for the next one, in january. I think, Roger would like to be there as a guest and not for work.“

Would you?. Are we ready to go to a SM-party together ?

„ I will ask him.. Not sure if he really would like it. We are not into SM-mode yet. Still trying to figure out what we are in it for“

„ Whatever. You^re invited.“ She handed me a business card. « Call me »

« I will »

« By the way…a cane will do wonders. Or a cat o nine. Flagellation in general » she winked and went back inside.

Flagellation in general. Yes, please. I^d like that. Should have known.
I chuckled.
Drummer. Always in for some good, steady rhythms, huh?


Two days after that dinner it happened. We reached the next level of our relationship.

Once again it was you who made the first move.

You and Sonya were at that wedding you were
been booked for and I had met John and Gela for dinner.

When I came home, I decided to go to bed early. What a surprise when I noticed a cane on the bed, together with a note.

• * One of my favorite instruments. You asked for it
Love , your Roger xx*


I was buzzing with excitement and the feeling of power rushed over me. If there had been any doubts, they were gone . I had missed that feeling and it felt good. Familiar. It felt right.

I took my mobile and texted you:

*What time you^ll be home ?*

*Between 1 and 2, I guess. How is dinner ? Say hi to J and G*

* Dinner is finished. I^m at home. Found your note. Better be home at 1*

*I try to*

* Be home at 1 ,Roger! Tell Sonya about the little present you left for me.She will let you go*¨

The next message came from Sonya :
*He^ll be in time ;) go go go, Nick! He^s so ready for it*

Then you again.

That single word made me smile.

*Good. I want you to wait for me in the living room when you^re home. Naked. On your knees. Hands folded behind your neck. No light*

This is so cliche, I know. But what can I do? I love it.

*As you wish*

Half past eleven. Plenty of time. I poured myself a whisky. Here we go.
I typed a message for Sonya :
*How is he ?*

*You should see him ! trying to be professional, but shaking like a leaf ;) *

*Take a photo. History in the making J*

And I went to the living room to prepare a few things.

A few minutes before one, I heard the key in the lock.
I sat in the kitchen, no lights. The cane placed on the counter.
I took a deep breath and counted from 100 backwards.

Then I took the cane , swung it through the air a few times to get familiar with it again. Been a while.

The adrenaline rush made me feel dizzy for a moment.

*Is this really happening?*

And I went to the living room.

You kneeled in the middle of the room, with your back to the door.
Hands folded behind your neck.
A perfect copy of the vision I had in the tube.So beautiful.

You winced when I switched on the standard lamp in the corner.
I could hear you breathing.
I walked past you and sat in my armchair, facing you.

Upright posture.Eyes closed. Beautiful! Did I say that before ?

I took my time to savour that sight.
You remained perfectly still.

« Look at me ! » I commanded,

*I should have brought a camera. His eyes. This expression. Yes. This is real. He is real. He^s my Roger*

I raised up, positioned myself directly in front of you and let the tip of the cane run over your bare chest.

« Your favorite instrument, hm ? »
You nodded in silence.

« I can^t hear you, Roger ! Is that your favorite instrument ? »
« Yes, Nick. It is.One of my favorite instruments » Your voice was barely above a whisper.

« And why is that so ? »

„ I..uh. „

How much I love that, Roger,watching you fighting with yourself, because you want to be so honest and it^s so hard for you to overcome your discomfort about speaking out loud what you want .

„ You what?“

„ I like it. I like …to be beaten with it“

I stroked your head to help you to relax a bit, and you leaned in for the touch,with a sigh of relief.

When I noticed that your arms begun to tremble slightly from this unusual position. I held out a hand.

„ Get up“ I led you to the armchair.
« Hold on to the backrest »

I stepped back., took a few deep breaths and the cane hit the hot flesh of your amazing ass for the first time.
Again.And again.

I told you I^m in it for reactions, and your reactions were fantastic.

You got in almost imediately,let go completely.

I never had seen something like that before

Head tilted back, you hissed with every blow, your strong, muscled body so beautifully outstretched before me.

For me.

For the cane.

I increased the pace and your hisses changed into short breathless gasps.

« Yes. Yes,my Roger ! I wanna hear you ! Show me how much you like it » Hitting you harder, I got into the flow, finding my own rhythm.

Your moans and screams, the marks the cane had produced on your skin, those pearls of sweat running down your back, it was almost too much to bear.

I whish I could ever find the right words to explain it to you…what is does with me to have you there,.How incrediby beautiful you are when you are giving yourself completely.

I almost got lost when I realised that we had never made up a safeword.
I didn^t want to end it, not even to interupt it.

But it was our first time, and I had no clue about your limits. And in that state you were in, literally flying. I doubted you would be able to tell me to stop.

I let my hand run down your hot, sweaty back and put the cane down to grab your hair with the other hand, pulling your head back.
„Look at me.“

„ Ah.“ Your eyes fluttered open , dark and fogged and dreamy.

I reached for your cock. Hard. Wet from precum.
I fisted your length a few times and you shut those wonderful eyes of your^s , moaning.

You wanted more. So obviously. Good.

„ You know, my Roger, I like your favorite instrument. I think I will play with it for a while longer.Would you like that?“

« Ooooooh. »

« That is a* yes*, I assume, isn^t it ? » I tightened my grip on your hair, forced you to open your eyes again.

« Yes. ..Yes please… Ah…please »

« First there is something I brought for you.“ And I bent for the well lubed butt plug I had placed beside the armchair earlier to press it into you without warning.

„ Ah...God. ..Nick!“
I picked up the cane again, stepped back and continued , finding my pace in an instant.

Not much later you scared me to death when you let out a scream different than the ones before and collapsed into the armchair, shaking all over.

*Too much…it was too much*

In no time I was by your side, holding your shaking body, trying to figure what had
just happened.
Until my fingers found this familiar sticky wetness .Dear god!
Your cum.

I never thought this is possible.
Dear god !
The ability to convert pain into pure lust, YOUR ability,is so unique, so strong, that you can have an orgasm from this feeling alone.
How amazing is that ?

« Roger ! Oh my god Roger!“

And there I was, holding you, and I cried into this wonderful hair of you^s. As dominant as a pink jelly bean. I I couldnt have cared less.

That night, when we were finally in bed, we made love.
I alway had to laugh about that term. Making love.
But that night it was exacly that. Lovemaking. Warm and sweet and slow.Me inside of you, barely moving.
Your wonderful arms around me, your eyes fixed at mine, your face so soft with this little smile in it.

„ I love you, handsome drummer“
„ I love you, too, my precious diva*.


I wasn^t suprised to find your side of the bed empty the next morning.
You left a note on the night stand for me.
• *In Regent^s park for a run.Coffee is in the kitchen. Will be back at 10 with breakfast.I love you, Nick. Your Roger*

With a smile I went into the kitchen to get me some coffee.and with the cup in hand I sat into that armchair, closed my eyes and thought about the last night

Your moans. Your screams.
I finished the coffee and my hand wandered to my cock as my brain played last night¨s movie in dolby suround and HD., fisting myself slowly.

I nearly jumped when I heard someone clearing his throat.
„ Nice“ you smiled, leaning at the doorway.“ May I help you with that?“
Any you dropped down on your knees an took me in your mouth.
This time I let go.It didn¨t take long.
Panting, my fingers burried into your sweaty hair, i shot my load down your throat and you didn¨t hesitate to swallow every drop.

A while later you stood up, smiling down at me.

« I need a shower. Fancy to join me ? »¨

« Would be a pleasure »

Hand in hand we went into the bathroom
You winced from pain when the water runs over the welts the cane has left all over your back and ass.

„ Let me have a look“ I let my fingers trail over them, admiring what I^d created.
« I like it.. Makes me feel….proud somehow. Do you think this is odd ? » I took the shower gel and spreaded some of it carefully on your back.

« If you think that is odd, you should have seen me earlier in here how I craned my neck to get a look at it « you laughed, blushing slightly.

« I^ll take pictures with the mobile » I sugessted, glad to find out that you seemed to have the same little *mark-fetish* like me.

We were just about to have a late breakfast in the kitchen, when the doorbell rang.
It¨s Yasmin and Simon. And they brought even more food, what triggered your cook mode and the breakfast turned into an opulent brunch.

So we all sat in the living room, enjoying the meal.

„ Any reason for your visit?“ I wondered
« We wanted to ask you two if you could look after the girls this weekend. I have to go to Milan for a catwalk job and it would be more fun if Simon could go with me »Yas explained.

« Oh, I^d love that¨ » You smiled « Nick ? »

„ Sure.Would be fun to have them“

„ Thank you!“ Yasmin took her mobile from the table „ I^ll call the airline“

Well, And then we were forced to have an unwanted coming out,

Because it wasn¨t Yasmin^s mobile. It was mine. With a very nice picture of your naked back on display.

« Oh. I guess this is your^s » She handed the mobile to me. « Sorry.,I… «

« My fault. » Now what ? Explanations ?

You just realized what she must had seen. „ Oh“

Simon, noticing that something was going on here , asked „ What is is?“

To my surprise, you took my mobile, switched on the display, showing it to Simon.

«This,Ladies and gentlemen, is what happens when keybord players switch to percussion, using the drummer^s favorite instrument. No worries, the drummer is all fine, it was all consensual and we promise to behave and to not leave mobiles around unlocked when the girls are around“

We all laughed and once more I was impressed by your easy going straight forward honesty
Simon, curious as always about everything what has to do with sex,turned to you;
« That looks painful as hell.Do you….I mean…is this something sexual ?*

« No. » you answered with puppy eyes « Boy has been bad and master had to punish him »
Yasmin nearly felt from the couch, so hard she had to laugh.

„ Yes, Simon, it is something sexual indeed“ you said, very serious.“ I just don¨t think I want to talk about it with you.“

„ Got the hint. Sorry.“
It was probably the first time ever that I saw Simon blushing.

Chapter Text

That weekend with the girls was one of the best weekends in this year, my Roger.
I was a bit nervous about it. All of us together for nearly three days.

Yas and Si brought them at Friday afternoon and the girls were as excited as us.
We had made them a little * camp* in the living room, mattresses and such, and it looked all cosy and comfortable.

Lulah would be sleeping in our bed, of course, she was practically glued to you anyway-

It was such fun when we prepared dinner all together, the littlest on her declared throne ( your shoulders), dancing and singing, the kitchen filled with such a positive energy, filled with laughter and love, that I was all in *Pink jellybean mode*
The pure joy of watching the four of you is something that will always make me happy.

Lulah still called you * Otchee* that time, and her sisters found this incredibly funny for some reason and decided to call you so, too, breaking out in laugher everytime they did.

Later we all settled onto the mattresses in the living room, watching movies.

Lulah fell asleep in your lap and you carried her into our bedroom.
When the two of you had left, Saffron took my hand

„ You know“ she said, placing a kiss on my cheek.“ I have never seen you that happy. And Otch…Roger is the cutest guy ever.“

„He definetly is“ I smiled, pulling Saffron in my arm.
„ Naaah…“ Amber shook her head in disagreement.“ He¨s not cute. I would say he^s incredibly hot“

„ Amber, please`“ Saffron rolled her eyes
„But he is! » Amber grinned.

And who am I to comlain about that ?

The next day was warm and sunny, quite unusual for early november in London, and we went down to the Thames al together, watching street artists, eating ice cream.

I remembered what I had said that first evening at your place. That people would stop to make such a drama about gay couples if they only would see more of them.

We only got positive reactions that day, from people you would not have had expected that.
We were watching an amazing acrobat, the two of us holding hands, my arm around Amber, your¨s around Saffron and Lulah on her throne as always, when an elderly couple approached.

« Excuse me » the woman said, smiling warmly.
» I have to tell you that you are a lovley family. Aren^t they, Carl ? »
And her husband answered « I bet you girls are proud of your dads¨“
„ Yeah. We are. We have the coolest dads ever“ Amber nodded.
„You bet“ Saffron giggled and Lulah laughed just because everyone did.

It was as if everyone would smile at us this day, as if there won^t be any homophobia around.
One of these days , which make you think that the world is some beautiful place.
When you kissed me goodnight later, very careful , because there was a sleeping Tallulah in your arm, half her body spreaded over your chest, you whispered : „ So glad I was wrong!“
„About what“ My fingers in your hair as always.
« About that I can^t have both »

By the end of this month Duran Duran was finally signed to a record company, and we all would meet at John^s and Gela^s new home this evening..
Important day, not only for the band.
Our parents would be there.Your brother.with his family. Everyone.
It would be our first * official event* as a couple.
It has been a busy month with a lot ot work, and we haven^t had much time together alone, beside the nights.
Most of them we^d spend cuddled together, sleep taking over as soon as we had kissed goodnight.
So not very much sex, not to mention any further steps into * the other side*.
I started do worry about your hands, covered with blisters and even some deep cuts, because you had literally shredded some bad quality drumsticks during one of your * I got lost into the rhythm* rants.
Your energy behind those drums is amazing, Roger. I love to watch you. On stage and in the studio I always have one of my keyboards facing your kit, and let me tell you, the sexual power of you, playing * your favorite instrument*, is giving me a hard on sometimes., making my think about some other * favorite instruments* of yours.
Ah, but it^s about that party now…meeting your family, you meeting mine.
Of course they knew about us, but they had never seen us together.
We arrived a little late.It was just that you coming out of the shower, all naked and wet, has been way to much to bear. And what was supposed to be a quickie in the bathroom turned out into another one under the shower we needed afterwards.
Late for a reason, I^d say.

When we entered the living room, which is more a ballroom by it^s size, the high ceiling and the opulent candelabers, Lulah squeaked out in pure joy and nearly knocked you off your feet when she flung her arms around your legs.
Not giving a shit about your damaged hands, you lifted her up as usual and she cupped your cheeks with both hands. « Rooooogerrrrr » she purred, so happy about that she just learned to say your name two days ago.
Everyone had to laugh about that
Good way to start.
Our mothers were the first ones to welcome us and I was surprised and touched at the same time when my mum embraced you and your^s hugged me ever so warmly, before she turned to you and shrieked, „ Roger, darling, what happened to your hands?“ My mum gasped in shock also, and you were framed by two caring women. I had to chuckle about it.
„ Nothing serious, mom!“ You kissed her „ Too much drumming during the last few weeks“ You assured them both that you won^t die of it, when our dads approached. And again, both of them hugged both of us. I would not have had expect that.
My dad has never been so very outgoing with feelings and since I came out as gay, there was always a distance between us. Not that he won^t love me. I know he does. It was just that he had other plans for his only son, I guess.
Yas came over to took Lulah from you, so that our families would have the chance to know each other.
„ Where^s Steve?“ you asked for your older brother.
„He will be late, babysitter just called that her car broke“ your dad answered.
Your dad. Hugh. I was a bit shocked about how much he looks like you. Now I knew what you would look like in somewhat 20 years, and I liked it very much.
Great evening.
But you seemed to be somehow quiter than usual and I noticed the glances between you and your parents.
Your brother never showed up, so I assumed it had something to do with it.

Slighty drunk, we ended up at your place that night.
„ What is it, Roger?“ I asked, when we had settled under the sheets.
„ What is what?“
„ Steve“ I just said.
„ Not now, Nick, ok? I don^t want to talk about it now. It^s been such a wonderful evening and I^m so happy about how our parents reacted to us. It^s …not now, Nick“
« Ok » I sighed, alarmed by your tone. Even more alarmed when you said good night and just turned away from me.
Something was not right here, so not right, and I won^t let it go like that.
I reached out for you, touching your warm , muscled back.and was shocked to notice that you were crying.
„ Roger, talk to me“ I let my hand trail over your shoulders and you…you pushed it away so violently, that I gasped.
„ Fine“ I said, trying to keep my voice calm, as I was utterly frightened now. « You don^t have to talk. But don^t ever turn your back on me. What ever it is, let me hold you at least. »
You reached behind you with one of your bandaged hands, cupping mine.
„I^m sorry. Give me a minute, will you?“
I never had seen you so vulnerable , so sad, and it scared me to no end.
After a few minutes you turned to me, put your head on my chest , your face wet from tears and whispered : « I love you »
I held you until you finally fell asleep. Then I left the bed, carefully enough to not wake you up and went to the kitchen.
For about an hour I sat there in the dark,, feeling helpless and still shocked.
What was that? And what can i do about it?

When I woke up, you were gone. For the first time in weeks.
The note on the nightstand said * Off for a morning run*
Nothing more.
No * I love you, your Roger* or* I will bring breakfast*. Off for a morning run.
I tried to call you, but you had left your phone at the nightstand. It had * save a prayer* for it^s ringtone, what , despite all worries, made me smile.
Half an hour later you were still not back, but your phone played your magic rhythms again. The display shows that it was your mom calling.
I picked it up,
„ Good morning, Jean, it^s Nick. Roger is out for a run and has left his mobile here“
„ Morning. I will try later then“ she said,
„ Sure. I^ll tell him to call you back“
„ Nick… is he…is he ok?“
„ No“ I answered to my own surprise. „ no, he is not. Jean, what is it? He refused to talk to me. He cried himself to sleep. I have never seen him like this.It scares me. What is it, Jean ? »
« I shoudln^t talk to you about it, Nick, not behind Roger^s back“ she answered,
„ I know. I am sorry. I just don^t know what to do. it^s Steve, isn^t it? Does he have a problem with Roger being gay?“
„ No. Not that. Really , Nick, I shouldn^t…“
„ Again..I know.But I …“
„ It¨s about Rogers…way to love“ Jean interupted. « it^s about the …the things which had happened in his last relationship. Steve is afraid that it will happen again, since we knew that you…ah, for gods sake…Nick, you are not planning to take him away from us, are you?“
„ Hell, no! Why should I…“ and then I understood.Everything.
“ Allan. And his so called rules“
It wasn^t planned to be said out loud, but your mother simply said. « Yes »
« Jean…I love Roger. I would never …I would never keep him away from his family. Or his friends. I would never tell him he^s not good enough. Never!“
„ Talk to him, Nick. He is so in love with you, and he^s so happy. I haven^t seen him that happy for years. Talk to him.“ I heard a muffled cry when she ended the call.

It was nearly 11 when you finally came back, all sweaty and breathless. You kissed me shortly on the cheek, murmuring „ Have to shower“ when I grabbed your wrists.
„ No. We¨ll talk. Now.“ I commanded.
« Nick » you started, trying half hearted to free yourself from my grip. We both knew, if you really wanted to escape , you would have no problem to do so..
« Roger ! You will sit down and talk to me.“
„ I will meet up with Steve tomorrow.No worries. Already called him“ you assured me.
« Good.. But I don^t wanna talk about Steve. I wanna talk about Allan.
I wan^t to know why your Mom has to ask me if you^re ok. I want to know why your brother makes up poor excuses not to meet me.
And most of all, Roger, I want to know why you are crying yourself to sleep So. You will sit down and talk to me. Now. «
« Nick..I .. »

„ No! No * Nick^s* any more! Roger, that evening at the * Velvet* you said something about been too focused on D/s. About that^s not healthy.About rules.
Here is my only rule for today, and I find it very healthy: Tell me. Tell me everything.“

You finally sat down, leaned back and took a deep breath. I sat on the chair next to you, lit cigarettes for us both, poured us some coffee and waited.
Again, you were fighting like hell with yourself, your inner battle between honesty and shame visible written all over your face.
„ It^s not about the pain only. For me » you started.
« I know that .I know that, my Roger.“
„ I…“ you swallowed hard „ What has happened is, that I…I got lost in sub space. Complety lost. There was nothing else. Nothing else that counted. I forgot about work, friends. Family even. There was only…“
„ Him“ I pulled you close, comforting you. Let you know, that I understand.
„ Yeah. Him. And in the beginning, it was good. Good for me. You know… I had my head full of dreams, about what I wanted to do, what I wanted to BE.Running my own restaurant was on top of the list., and I finally managed to sign in for that school. 4 years. I failed big time in the first year, because I was too tired to learn. Had to earn some money and worked as a bar keeper at night., so I used to fall asleep in class and I had to repeat the first year. I was close to give up, when I met him. I told you, he^s a teacher at that school. He gave me some extra lessons to catch up. He came to my place twice a week, and he really was good at explaining things.But I still had to work at nights and I had been too lazy often enough.
So one day, when I wasn^t prepared enough yet again, he joked about the good old times were canes had been used to educate unwilling students.Well, from that day on the cane was in use to educate me. And it helped. It was what I needed. I^m not he world^s most ambitious person. I need to be pushed sometimes.And…and the feeling to do something…to do something for him please him…was very fulfilling. And so the list of rules increased slowly. And still…it was all positive. Constructive. My tests got better. I went to bed earlier. I stopped partying every weekend. I even ate healthier by his order.When I…when he ..“ you stopped, „Do you think I^m weak, Nick?“

„ Weak? You? You are propably the strongest person I know, Roger! You don^t need to be pushed any more, you made it all by yourself. And you are giving yourself completely without compromising. Look at your hands.You don^t care. You give 110 percent. And there was no one who gave you orders to do so ! When you work with Sonya, it^s all you. Giving everything. You are not weak, Roger! You give all you are. In every means.“
„ I^m not giving myself to you. Completely. I am too scared…but I…I… »

« You miss it. The feeling. The fulfilling. You miss it.“
„ Yeah. I don^t want to miss it, but I do. After all what happened, I do. He .. after 3 years or so.. he had full control about my life. He decided what to wear, who I^m allowed to meet up with.. everything. And I didn^t even notice. That he was slowly taking me away from my friends. That I hadn ^t spoke to my Mom or Steve for weeks.I had to be on call for him. Always. But he was…and he still is,I guess, married and has kids, so there were days without even seeing him. But me…I was some happy devoted slave waiting patiently for my master » you laughed bitterly, swallowing down the tears which wanted to flow. .“ Until he stopped touching me.. The few times he managed to be away from home over night, I had..I had to sleep on the carpet beside the bed. And whenever he thought that I wasn^t good enough…and in the last months of our…our * thing*. I have never been good enough… he used to tie my up, leaving me there for hours.
And my family worried about me. They had called a million times and I never had called back, He had my phone, he deleted all calls and messages from it. So one day Steve came to my place. He had a key for emergencies. And he found me. Tied to the bed. So, I tell you, he was not amused to find out about us, you and me. I^m his little brother. I will always be. And he wants to protect me. And he thinks it will happen again. That^s why he didn’t show up. After…after…he had found me, back then, his first thought was, that someone had kidnapped me. He wanted to call the police and I had to explain him that it was my own will. He didn^t understand. Called me a pervert, said he won^t let me see my nieces any more…took us about a year to work it out. He still didn^t understand, but he wanted. Hewanted to know what is is about and why people are like that. Why I am like that. He even came to the * Velvet* when it opened, to speak to people, to learn, to understand. Sonya became a good friend of him. And I thought…I thought he would be ok with it by now.But then…even I am not ok with it…it was nearly killing me when Yas saw that pic of me, Nick. I thought she would take Lulah …all the girls..away from me, like Steve did. I don^t want all that again. I don^t want you to stop touching me. I don^t be so focused on …but hell, I do miss it. And that scares me to death » finally you allowed the tears to flow, holding me for dear life.

« It won^t happen. It won¨t ! I love you. I would never take you away from your family. Or your friends“ I repeated the words I^d said to Jean earlier. « Nothing in the world could ever stop me from touching you. Nothing! I love you, Roger. I love you for everything you are and I would never ever give you the feeling that you are not good enough.. You are perfect. You are wonderful.“

I don^t know for how long we sat there, holding each other. , until I led you to the bathroom, undressed you and guided you under the shower, me still fully dressed. And I washed you, from your silky hair down to the little toes, every inch of your beautiful body.
„ You are mine, Roger. You are mine and you know it. I don^t have to lock you away or have you sleeping on the carpet to let you you feel it. There are other ways.And we^ll have all the time in the world to find out what will work best. For both of us“
And there, in the shower, you dropped down to your knees. Because you wanted to.. No command needed.

Later that day you called your mother back, assuring her that everything is fine.
And because we both needed something utterly * normal* to do, we went for dinner at our favourite mexican restaurant. Holding hands and sharing kisses.
Some of the lightness between us was gone. But that was nothing bad, as it had been replaced by something deeper. You were my Roger now. It wasn^t only a playful phrase anymore.
My Roger.
I woke up beside you the next morning, and I can^t tell you how happy I was not to find the bed empty and one of your notes on the nightstand.
I went to the kitchen to brew us some coffee and leaned at the counter, waiting for the machine to finish it^s work.
Today your brother would come over for lunch and you had planned the menue as if you^d be payed for it. The shopping list you made, lying there at the counter, was nearly as long as my forearm.
Mister 110 Percent, I smiled, letting my fingertip run over the letters, written in your messy handwriting.
With filled mugs I returned to the bedroom and stopped at the doorway to look at you. To enjoy the sight of your body contours under the sheets. And as if I would have touched you, your eyes fluttered open and your face lightened up with your smile.
„ Good morning, love“ you said.
« Good morning, my handsome Roger »
You moved to sit up against the head end of the bed.“ Come back in, will you?“
„ So, what are the plans for today?“ I asked when in bed with you again, a hand in your hair.
„ Shopping, cooking, some cleaning and having an upset brother around“ you counted.
„ Isn^t that the rockstar live you had always dreamt of?“ I chuckled.“I will help you with that.Any plans for the evening yet?“
„ Have to be at the Velvet at nine. Some bookkeeping to do and maybe Carlos needs some help behind the bar. Femdom meeting today. They are always in for cocktails.
„ Is it a party?“ I wanted to know.
„ Nah, it^s more like a regular table. But it had often enough turned into a party. Ladies only, no male subs allowed. »
« Ah. But you are ? Allowed ? »
« The benefits of being gay.“ you smiled.
„ So maybe I can come, too?“
« Sure. »
I haven’t been there since this live changing evening, and I was looking forward to see that place filled.

We went shopping together and I did some cleaning while you prepared the meal. I could feel your tension rising with every ticking of the clock.
« It will be alright » I said, embracing you from behind.
„ Yeah. As long as you won^t tie me to the bed it maybe will be,“ you sighed.
« Oh, I would love to tie you to the bed. But not when your brother is around » I nibbled at your earlobe, getting a soft moan from you.

The lunch went way better than expected.
I opened the door when the doorbell rang and your brother was surprised to see me.
„ Nick, you are, I assume?“ he said, shaking my hand. « I have to apologize for not coming to the party. It^s just that I have my problems with Roger^s way of live »

Well, now I knew were your straight forward honesty was coming from.
„ I understand this, after what he^s been through. He^s in the kitchen, by the way.No ties“

Steve laughed and I took his jacket to hang it on a coat hook beside the door.
„ So he told you about this..“
„ Asshole?“ I sugessted.
„ Good to hear that we are eye to eye at this point“ he smiled.“ I spoke to Mom about you two and she likes you a lot. Even dad does. They said you are making him happy. As long as you do so and you^re not planning to change him into…that brainless * slave thing* he has been for this asshole, N^ll be fine with it. No offense, Nick, but you will be watched. I won^t let this happen again“
“ I^m so not interested in brainless slave things, I can tell you, Steve.“

You came out of the kitchen to embrace your brother. « Thanks for coming, Steve »
« Well, Roggie, thanks for having me. My apologizes again for not showing up.If I were you, I^d be completely mad at me »
„ I^m not. I was just…sad. You know, it wasn^t about me or Nick. It was about the band. And you know for how long I wanted to be a drummer in a band. Would have been great to celebrate the record company signing with you, Steve.“
I had to grin about the double dose of Taylor-like honesty. One of a kind, you and your brother.
« Sorry. I know. I wasn^t sure what it would have done to me, seeing you with Nick, with what I know about .. the things you do »
« Well, wathever * things* we do, we surely won^t do them at a family party. What did you expect, Steve? Me on all fours, on a leash?“ you questioned.

„Who knows? I wouldn^t have had expected to find you tied to the bed with a rubber ball in your mouth either „
„ Touchee“ you grinned, blushing slightly.

When we sat at the table, enjoying the delicius meal you had prepared, Steve wanted to know : « You two… I mean… it^s something serious, isn^t it ?“
„ It is love“ you said and my heart jolted.
« I can see that. » your brother smiled , squeezing your hand., what made you wince from pain.
« Oh come on ! « Steve grinned . « I thought you like when it hurts »

All happy and relieved, you drove us to the Velvet later.
The place was packed with women. All ages, all sizes. Casual clothing to leather corsets.
„ Attention please!“ you shouted when we had made our way to the bar.
„ This is Nick. He`s my love and my owner. He wants to join us tonight. Any complains, ladies?“
« Your owner ? » I asked into the outbroken cheering, surprised and amused.
« I am your Roger, right ?“ you asked.
„ You are“
„ Well, then you do own me, what makes you my owner. Simple logic, huh ? »
Your owner.
How interesting..
You kissed me and I had to grab your neck , biting your lower lip.
Owner ! I^ll show you about owning you!
„ I have to do some bookkeeping stuff in the office. Shouldn`t be longer than an hour. Make yourself comfortable“ You licked your slightly swollen lip and disappeared .
„ Hi there, owner of Roger“ Sonya elbowed me, grinning all over. „ What was that about?“
„ Dunno. Caught me totally off guard“ I admitted, hugging her. „ Good to see you, Sonya!“
„ Good to see you, too.Things are going well between you two, I^d say
If I were you, I would make it totally clear to the ladies that he^s your^s.
Some of them never stopped showing their interest in him, if you know what I mean. It^s not very respectful, is it?“ she said with a wicked smile
„ I agree. Playrooms open for use tonight.?“

„ No, But you know what? I have the keys »

« Wasn^t my Roger planned to work tonight ? » I asked
„ Ah, Nevermind. I will do the bar. You will do Roger“ she winked

All excited about this unexpected turn of the evening, I followed her to she playrooms. There where 4 of them. All with different furnitures. From the fucking monstreous divice to punishing bucks.
I chose one, buzzing from adrenaline yet.
Some of the ladies had noticed that something was going on, and the news had been spreaded in seconds. I collected a few things from the club owned equipment and brought them into the chosen room.
Returning to the bar,I told the ladies not to ruin the surprise, and they all laughed, thumbs up.
Everyone played along, and when you came back from the office, you didn^t notice anything to be different than usual.
« Why would we need 20 bullwhips, Sonya ? is there a group whipping planned or something ? » You were still in business mode.
« They will be sold here , I guess. Check with Michael about it.“ Sonya showed you away when you wanted to walk behind the counter. „ Ah, naaw, we have a visitor today you have to take care of, Rog. I will fill up the ladies «
« Thank you very much, I appreciate that“ And you turned to me, smiling. « No work then. How nice is that ? »
« Well, my Roger, * nice * is not exactly the word I^d use, but I appreciate it nonetheless“ With that, I gripped your hair and pulled your head back.
You gasped in surprise. « Nick..what.. »
I covered your mouth with mine , and your lips parted to let me in. I felt your body soften under my grip and the kiss. From business mode to sub mode in ten seconds.
Once you had made your desicions, you are Mister 110 percent. By all means. The desicion has been made under the shower the other day. No compromises.
I broke the kiss and tightened my grip of your hair.
„ Your owner, Roger, your owner wants to show you what it means to be his property. And he wants everyone in here to know that you are taken.“
,I led you into the room and closed the door behind us.
I had chosen the room with the most simple furnishing.
A leather covered table with metall rings at the sides , massive chains dangling from the ceiling, a comfortable armchair and a wooden table, now with very interesting stuff on it.
I sat in the armchair, holding you with my gaze.
„ Take your clothes off, Roger. I want to see what^s mine“
You got undressed, slowly but without hesitation.
Completely naked, you finally stood there in the middle of the room.
At first sight you were all calm , but the hectic lifting and lowering of your ribcage told different.
„Turn“ I commanded.
I could watch you for hours, you know ? The human body is one fascinating thing. And the body of your^s is pure perfection.
Some may say you^re a bit on the small side for a man. I don^t think so. You^d look different if you where any taller, and the proportions are just right the way they are .
You think your legs are way too short, but they are not.
You are one of the very few men who can wear shorts without looking rediculous.
The long muscles of a runner formed them well.
Speaking about muscles:
Gluteus maximus. Your^s. No comments needed.
Your back. The broad shoulders.
That arms. Drummer arms. I always have to touch them when you are near, the biceps in particular. Strong arms. A pleasure to have them around my body.
You are one fine specimen of a man, Roger.
« Face me »
And you turned again, presenting your front.
« Hands behind neck »
There is a reason why this * hands behind neck*-thing is so very popular in our so called* scene*, cliche or not.
It gave me a perfect view of your chest.
Just the right amount of hair.
Your wonderful nipples, erected and rock hard now, like little stones
Oh, erected…
Your cock.
I bet you left some of your mates green with envy as a teen when you were playing soccer.
Not to mention any lovers later.
It sounds a bit odd to call a cock * beautiful*, but your^s is.
Not fully erected right now, but twitching in anticipation.
„ Come here, my Roger“
I rose from the chair to take you in my arms,
„ I like my property. Very much“ I whispered in your ear, catching an earlobe with my theeth.“ Hold out your wrists.“.
I fixed the leather cuffs and led you directly under one of the chains hanging from the ceiling.
The karabiners clicked in, and I had you standing there, your arms above your head, bounded and outstretched.
I went for another pair of cuffs to fix them at your ankles.Now for the spreading bar. I was pleased to see that I had chosen the fitting length to hold your legs open without being too uncomfortable.
« What^s your safeword ? »
« Cupcake » you smirked and I couldn^t help but chuckle to this.
„ Well then, I hope no joy of baking will be needed here“
My arms around your waist, I leaned my forehead against your^s.and we stood there for a few minutes,looking into each other^s eyes.
Not breaking eye contact, I led my fingers wander to one of your nipples to squeeze it hard. You hissed.
Very thrilling, to feel your breath directly on my face
.I went to the other nipple to give it the same treatment.
A soft moan from you this time.
« You like that, hm ? »
« So very much »
Your head fell back when I started to lick them.
Very gently. Slow.
Once you got used to this gentle touch, I bit.
And you yelped.
„ Hmmm. What a beautiful noise that was. May I get another one of those?“
You like to be bitten. That was the first thing to find out at the Velvet that night.
Such a turn on for me.
I went up to where your neck meets your shoulder, licked over your collarbone and had you panting already. I tortured you with the softness of my touches, knowing well that you wanted so much more.
„ Nick…Please.“
„ Please what?“ I breathed against your moist skin, giving you goosebumps all over.
„Waaah. Nick! Bite me. Please.“
„ Be careful what you wish for“
Your scream was incredible.
I bit down your body until you were not much more than a quivering mess.
By that time there was no doubt about that everyone behind the door had heard you.
The second thing I ^ve found out was, yes , It^s possible to make a man come two times in 10 minutes. Amazing.
Three times in an hour, even.
And then I had to fuck you, fixed to the leather table, until you begged for mercy.
I removed the cuffs and held you tight until your breathing was back to normal.
„ Can you get up?“ I asked, my fingers twined into your sweaty hair.
„ No chance, I^m all jelly.“
„ Can I leave you alone for a minute? I will bring some water »

„ I won^t move at all“ you murmured and I went back into the bar.
The ladies applauded and hooted, and Sonya handed me a bottle of water before I could ask for it.
„ That was a very nice soundtrack for the evening“ she smiled. „ Quite noisy, those drummers, aren^t they?“
« Ain^t that wonderful ? I winked. „ See you later, have to look after Roger.

When I came in, you sat upright on the table, „ rolling your head and shoulders.
„ Welcome back to planet earth. I hope you had a pleasant flight“I sat beside you and opened the water bottle.
You took it and emptied it all at once.
„ Thanks“ ,you tried a litte smile, your body functions still not back to normal.
« That was …uh…quite intense. I^m still flying here. Could you..could you just hold me for a while?“

Chapter Text

It was about half an hour later when we went back to the bar together, and you still needed to hold at my shoulder for support.
No one applauded or hooted this time, they all noticed the state you were in and wanted to give you time to recover. I led you to the bar and they made space for us, so that you could sat on one of the stools there.
A grey haired woman in leatherpants and a fitting corsage brought a plate filled with things from the small buffet in the back of the room and placed it in front of you, giving your shoulder a quick squeeze.“ Thank you“ I said quietly. Carlos filled two of his shot glasses for us and gave you a friendly hair ruffle.

I stood behind you, arms around your waist, and you let your head fall back against my shoulder, exposing a bite mark at the side of your neck. I kissed it gently and you reached for the back of my head to hold me close.
„ Coffee.“ You whispered. „ I need coffee. And a cigarette.“
Carlos, attentively as always, went to the coffeemaker.
« Carlos is one great guy » I smiled.
« You bet he is. » you chuckled.
« I^ve heard that » the man said „ have to say I^m doing quite good in here for a …how do you call it?...vanilla ? »
« I never would have thought that it^ll work out“ Sonya laughed . » But for a homophobic puerto rican macho you are really not that bad »
« if you are a homophobic vanilla macho, you are hiding it pretty well » I said, very surprised.
« I had shock therapy » Carlos grinned, and you returned the hair ruffle, smiling warmly at him.
« Tell Nick about how you first met » Sonya said.
« Well, shortly after the Velvet had opened, they placed a job ad in the internet, looking for a barkeeper. » the puerto rican started. „ SM/ Fetishclub, it said. Not my cup of tea, but hey, half naked woman on their knees are not that bad, I thought.And I called Michael. He was not happy about the fact that I was not one out of their community, but since no one else had reacted to the ad,he decided to give it a try.He told me to come by the other day and ask for Roger. When I walked in, there was a naked man bounded to the suspension point over there, and I was utterly shocked when I noticed that the person whipping him was also a man. I turned to the man behind the bar and asked: Excuse me, is this a gay club?‘ not even trying to hide my disgust, and he said, no, it^s for everybody“ so I asked for that Roger…just when the man with the whip started to fuck the other with the grip of it.
I nearly puked, i have to say. Not your liking ? the barkeeper asked and I blurted,who would like such things, and the man reached out a hand, saying, well, me, for example. I^m Roger, by the way. And wasn^t that the beginning of a wonderful friendship ? » Again, he ruffled your hair.
„it was indeed. I was so sorry for you, Carlos! Those two had been the first gays at audition night here ever. And the last so far,I assume. Your timing was not the best I^d say“

„You know, every once in a week we have a so called audition night. Normally we don^t want people to play in here, but some people like to have an audience and some like to watch, so we took care of their needs. Every Wednesday.“ Sonya explained
Later, at my place this time, I changed the bandages of your hands. You sat totally still, eyes closed.
« Roger, what got into you with this owner-thing ?» I asked
« Sorry about that, I should have told you, but some of the ladies can be very annoying, no matter how often you tell them that you are absolutely NOT interested in women. But they do respect when someone is taken. And sometimes…like today… well, I feel like .. it^s not such a bad thing at all. To be owned by you.Still, at the first place I made this up for the ladies“

„ You caught me completely off guard with that. Don^t do such things, ok ?“
„ As you wish, sir.“ You smirked.
« Really, Roger, I^m serious. As you may have noticed, it was quite a trigger for me »
You opened your eyes.
« For me, too. I would not have guessed that »
I kissed your hands, bandage changing was finished.
„ You got into it very fast today. Was it because of that?“I wanted to know, slightly alarmed.
„ No. It was the hair pulling. Works like a tappet switch for me. If you want me to be in sub mode, this is propably the fastest way.Grabbing my hair and pulling my head back“
„ Good to know“ I winked. „ One last drink before bed?“
„ Whisky would be fine.“

It was about a week later when hell broke loose.
*Save a prayer* made it to number one in the UK charts and over night Duran Duran were famous.
We, you and me, had to make some important decisions.
After endless talks with our families and closest friends, the band and the management we chose the straight forward way. No hiding. We told them about the Velvet and our * way of life* The press would have found out about it anyway.
For a few weeks internet and newspapers were filled more with our private life than with anything about our music.
But after a while things cooled down.
You had to quit working at the Velvet and with Sonya.
We had
finished an european tour, all sold out, when the two of us moved together into a small house in Putney, near to Yas and Simon.
All out families and friends came together for the housewarming and it was a great party.
At 4 in the morning we sat in the kitchen with Sonya and the LeBons, drinking wine. All others were gone.
„ How are things at the Velvet?“ I asked.
„ Pretty good. We still miss you very much though, Roger!“

„ That^s this Sadomaso-club, uh?“ Simon wanted to know.“ Are you a domina then?“
Sonya laughed . „ I¨m not. No one ever pays me. What I am is called a femdom.A female dominant person »
« And the difference is?’ » Yasmin asked with obvious interest..
„ A Domina is providing a service for money. *Femdom* just describes what you are » Sonya explained
« But dominas are femdoms,right ? » the model assumed.
« I don^t think so, For some of them it^s only an easy way to make money. Demand has to be meet.And the demand is high. Most submissive men are struggling with the common gender role, I can tell you from own experience“ Sonya sighed.“ It^s easier for them to pretend to be mainstream, paying someone for a good whipping every once in a while“
„ Naah. » you said « I don^t think its easier.It must be utterly frustrating. Not to be able to be yourself »
« Of course. Go tell them. Tell them, for fucks sake“ Sonya blurted, pouring herself some more wine.
„ Uh-oh. What has happened, Sonya?“ you reached for her hand.
She turned to the LeBons „ Is it ok for you two when we talk about such things. ?“
„ Sure. If it^s ok for you to have us around“ Yas nodded.
„ It^s nothing in particular, Roger. The last two I^ve dated were both married, and somehow they have forgotten to tell me that.I should have known anyway.When they freaked out about that some things really do leave marks. One of them was dating me when his wife was on vacation , so at first session, no problem. All in.And my, that was heaven! I don^t have to tell you about the beautiness of a really nice back covered with cane marks, have I? I^m sorry, Yas and Si, you two have to think I^m crazy`“
„ Nevermind.“ Simon said. „ We have seen the beautiness of cane mark covered backs before“
Yasmin chuckled „ Oh yeah, we have. If it was. A cane, I mean. »
« It was » I grinned and pulled you close for a kiss
« That was indeed a not so pleasant situation » you smirked.
„ Oh. Did you interupt something‘?“ Sonya questioned the LeBons
„ No, Yas just took the wrong mobile, and it had a very interesting picture on display“ our singer chuckled. » I could not have been more surprised. I never would have guessed,,well, I never would have guessed. »
« Simon, I didn`t want to talk about it back then, because I thought…I thought you^d take the girls away from us » you said,
« And why, Roger, should we do that ? You love them.they love you.I would entrust their lives to you two, really. I said I was suprised. Not that I was shocked or something. And I was terribly curious. I still am. to be honest. The way you dealed with it , for the press and such, has really impressed me.Sonya, you said something about struggling with gender roles or somethin…I never have seen you struggling with that, Roger.“Simon leaned back. „ So, I never would have guessed that you are submissive. Or whatever you call it. Nick, that bossy bitch, no question about him, but you…“
„ Yay! And here comes the best part of every party! Drunken kitchen talks! Get us some more wine, bossy bitch!“ Sonya laughed.
„Who^s the bossy bitch here, Sonya, heh?“ I grinned and opened us another bottle of Merlot.
„ Well , Simon“ you started. „Thank you for the trust you have in us when it comes to your daughters.I really love them, WE love them and it would have broken my heart if Yas and you would have thought, eeeew, we don^t want the girls to be with some sick perverts.And about struggling…I have struggled with a lot of things when i found out about my sexual preferences, believe me. Took me a while to accept it. I think it’s easier when you^re gay, though. »
« You think ? » I wondered. « Why so ? »
„ It^s what Sonya said about gender roles. Gender roles doesn^t matter at all in a gay relationship, right? I see the problems for hetero men at this point. When everyone, girlfriend or wife in particular, wants you to be the strong shoulder to lean on, wants you to be the classic specimen of manhood…must be one hell of a struggle.“

„ Ok, I got that“Sonya admitted „ But if there^s a woman who clearly says * you know, i^m not interested in the classic gender roles, I won^t question your manhood , I want you the way you are,I love you for what you are, where^s the problem?“

„The others are the problem.See, Sonya, i^d say I^m very confident about it now. We decided to be open with it and no one really cared But we are musicians. I wonder what it would be like for a lawyer, who is supposed to be dominant.. Or a soccer player, who has to be in the changing room with ten other men. Not that easy, especially when it comes to obvious marks. This preference is quite restrictive, I tell you.Even if you are open about it »
« Does it restrict you ? » Yasmin asked.
« Not that much. But still…I don^t want to rub it into other people^s faces. Not a problem when it^s you. Or John. But Andy ? Any of the kids ? i had to tell Saffron once that I can^t go swimming with her, for example.It’s worth a little restriction, though. »you winked and squeezed my hand.
« And what about.. » Simon hesitated « what about…other things ? i mean, I told you I am curious about all that and I did some internet research.. »
« We both did, actually »Yasmin admitted, blushing slightly.
You leaned back with a chuckle and we smiled at each other.
They were really curious, those Lebons.
Well, what about other things?
The last weeks, months, even, had been one hell of a ride.
No time to develop some * other things*, since we had been so busy with Interviews, Photos shootings, TV- shows and of course, the tour.
It was like everytime we took another step to deepen *other things*, there was no time to live them out.
One of the main reasons to buy this house.

« And by other things you mean ? » Sonya asked, a big grin on her face.
« Rules, rituals, dress codes..,,such things »Simon said.
« Ah, ok. Well…my subs have to wear a collar and are not allowed to speak unless I give permission to. When playing, that is, of course.And they have to kneel. Because there is nothing more beautiful than a man on his knees »Sonya told him.

« Couldn^t agree more to the last bit » I sighed, realising that it^s been quite a while.We should change that as soon as possible.
« Collar » you snorted « I will never understand that collar thing »
„ I know, sweetie, we have argued about that often enough. For me it^s an important thing and I know that it is for some subs, too. A reminder of what they are“
„What are they, then? Golden retrievers?“ you snapped and I was really suprised about your strong reaction.
„ Look, Roger, I don^t want to get into yet another argument here. Simon asked and I answered. Doesn^t have to be your cup of tea.Would fit you, a collar, by the way“ she smiled wickedly.
„ Never ever, Sonya“

*Never say never, Roger*

„ Sore point of your^s , Rog ? » Yasmin grinned.
« Sort of. I don^t know, it^s just such a cliche. And it’s like some kind of uniform.
Once, at a Party in Brighton, there have been five femsubs in a row, on their knees, giving blowjobs. All with identical collars. I guess that has traumatized me somehow.Cliche overload.“
„ You people do have sex at those parties? « Simon gasped and we all had to laugh

It was about 8 in the morning when we finally went to bed.
Your arms around me I drifted to sleep with three things in mind.
Find some rules and rituals.
Call Madame Claire about the next party.
Make Roger wear a collar….someday.
Yas and Simon came over with the girls the next afternoon to help with the cleaning. To our surprise Sonya and Carlos showed up only a few minutes after them.
« Hiya, folks. We have brought some food » Carlos said.
For the first time ever you were kicked out of the kitchen.

Living together made a lot of things easier for us.
One day ,we came home after a life performance for BBC, when I decided to take care about the * rules and rituals* bit.
I poured us some whisky and waited for you in the living room, since you were gone to the bedroom as soon as we had arrived to get rid of that suit they wanted you to wear for the TV show. When you returned, you wore the *black velvet* tee and one of your beloved sweatpants.
„Who had the idea of wearing evening jackets on stage? Not that i don^t like them, but behind the drums they suck big time“ You plopped on the couch beside me.“ Ah, Whisky! You are reading my thoughts, precious diva“
„Being nostalgic, Roger?“ I pointed at the tee.
„No. It was on top, so I took it. Has been ages since I was wearing it, though.“
You leaned your head against my shoulder and put your arm around me.
„ I don^t want you to wear sweat pants unless you are doing your work out“
Yet alone the look on your face was worth it.The moment you tried to figure what this was about, as it came totally out of the blue.
« Do…do you want me to take them off ? » you asked, still unsecure with the situation.
„No. I will take them off. Later. Don^t wear them in future.Only for work out“
„As..OK“ You blushed and gave me one of those fabulous * from behind lashes*-looks. They are on the top ten list of my favorite Roger-images.
*Not in it enough for an *as you wish*, I see. Well, I will change that*
Knowing that I had your full attention now, I took a sip of the Whisky and lit a cigarette.
„Yes, Nick?“
„ I want to know more about your likes and what you are dreaming of. From now on, you will tell me at least one thing you like, a trigger or one of your phantasies each day. Tell me, text me, write me a note like you did with the cane. Whatever.Just don^t forget about it, that will have consequences“ I let my fingers run through your hair and gripped it shortly. Long enough to be noticed.
« I will » you said quietly
« Good. » I lightly kissed your forehead.
There was one last thing. And I was very excited how you would react to this.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a black carton box. I placed it on the table in front of you.
« Open it »
It was a tiny silver bell, wrapped in silk paper.
„ That will be our reminder. Whenever I will ring this bell, I want to be sure to have your full attention. Could be for a kiss only. Or i^d like to have a coffee. Maybe I will have you on your knees.Eventually I will fuck you senseless.You^ll never know. Be prepared for all and nothing »
Again, watching your face only was all worth it. To see you frown, licking your lips in this well known nervous manner…for someone who has a *reaction-fetish*, the face of your^s is paradise.
„What do you think?“ I wanted to know, lifting your chin to make you look at me.
„I think..I think i like that. I think I like that very much“

I was very relieved, Roger. I really was.

Finally I allowed myself to grab your hair and pull your head back. „ Finish your drink, my Roger. I want to tie you to the bed and make you scream

A week later I had a radio interview together with John and we went for lunch afterwards.
I was quite distracted. You had texted me every day about your likes and dreams, as i had asked for. Six text messages so far, and the last one had been mindblowing for me.
*First one, maybe the hardest one to talk about for me; I like to be slapped in the face.Hard. trigger. One hell of a trigger.I know it^s not everyones cup of tea and I^m scared that it is not yours*

*Number two:Outdoor a forrest, bound to a tree,( for example)*

* Three, a tunnel game.stinging nettles. Ginger plug. Tabasco sauce. Something like that*

* 4: a subtile game in public, something that no one would notice*

* Number 5 : A whole weekend in sub-mode*

*Six :a game in front of an audience. Others to partcipiate, if it fits. Not sure about the last bit, but it^s definately a phantasy of mine*
« Nick ? »
I took the mobile away « Sorry, John. All yours now.“
„ Would you ever have thought that? Duran Duran being on top of the charts?“
« Yeah, I have.Took us a while, hm ? »
„ Roger made us a band. A real band“
„ Indeed. And i was so sick of the drummer auditions back then,do you remember? They were all ugly idiots“
„Uh yeah, I remember. And then there was Roger. I have to tell you: we all knew from the first moment on that the two of you are made for each other“John elbowed me.
„ Did you? I had my doubts.Because of my special preferences, you know?“ I smiled
« I wonder..have you ever?“John grinned.
„ Have I ever what?“
„Tortured him with his drumsticks?“
We laughed, remembering our talk at the pub.
„ Nah. But thanks for bringing that up again“

A drumroll, coming out of my mobile informed me that you had texted me.
« May I ? » I asked John.
„ Of course“
*guess what???? Some big news!!! God,I can^t believe it!!! Sonya and Carlos! Waaaah!*
I laughed out loud.
« Live is funny sometimes, John, I tell you »

When I came home, I was welcomed by a wonderful smell and various laughters.
You were in the kitchen with Yas, busy with cooking. Saffron and Lulah sat at the table, the littlest in her own high chair, her sister doing some homework.
„ Hey! Whatever you two are preparing here, it smells fantastic“I pulled you close for a kiss.
„Mum is teaching Roger some persian cuisine“ Saffron explained, after I had kissed all the Ladies as well.
„ Where^s Amber?“i asked.
„ Amber“ you said with a big grin „Amber has a date with Daniel,yet again.Must be love“
„ I rarely see her these days“ Yasmin sighed. „ She is growing up so fast. And now…first love. Daniel here, Daniel there, Daniel said this, Daniel did that..Simon is going nuts.“
« Me too » Saffron rolled her eyes.
« Oh, talking about dating …what is it with Sonya and Carlos ? »I asked, hugging you from behind.
« Sonya called me this morning.It started when they^d been here the day after the housewarming.They ended up at Sonya^s somehow, talking the whole night, and well.. »
« What…Sonya and this handsome puerto rican guy? I hope he^s not married“ Yas grinned.
„ He isn^t. That is, for once, not the problem…“ you chuckled.
„Ah. But he…he isn^t…he doesn^t like golden retrievers?“
We bursted out in laughter.
„Oh please!“ Another one of Saffrons famous eye rolls „ Who on earth would not like golden retrievers?“
The LeBons.What a great bunch of people, all of them.
All but Simon^s brother Jonathan, wo is,matter of fact, a homophobic asshole.
I remember that one scene pretty well, as it brought us even closer to Yas, Si and the girls.
We came back from a shopping tour with Amber and Saffron when I noticed the car in front of the LeBon home.
« Oh, what a lucky day, Roger, today you will meet the most charming man on the planet » I murmured.
« We^re back » Amber shouted when we stepped into the hallway.
„Living room“ Simon answered.
Yas, Simon and Jonathan were having afternoon tea and Yas invited us in.
„Nick.“ Jonathan said, not making a move to even shake my hand or something.
„Jonathan“ i replied coldly.
You, being the friendly, warm and open person you are, reached out a hand, smiling all over and said: „ Hello there, I^m Roger. Nice to meet you“
This dickhead refused to take your hand. „Ah.According to the newspapers, you are Nick’s little sex toy, aren^t you?“
Simon went all white. Amber and Saffron froze.Yasmin gasped in shock.
„ Get out“ Amber yelled. „ Get the hell out of here!“
« You^ve heard my daughter, Jonathan » Simon said between gritted teeth.
„You know what, Simon? I guess you are hanging out way too much with those sissys here » Jonathan snorted when he rose from the couch.
„ I don¨t think so, Jonathan. I think that i^ve tried way too long to ignore the fact that you are a stupid ignorant idiot. You will never ever again insult my best friends in my own house.Get out.“ Simon pointed to the door and Jonathan left without a word.
« You should not have told the press about all that ! It is your fault that Roger got offended“ Amber yelled at me, her face red with anger, and she rushed off into her room.
„ Go after her.“ Yas said quietly.And I.did.
„May I? » i poked my head into her room after a short knock.
„Yeah. Come in“
I sat on the bed beside Amber.
„ You should have told me, you know? You should have told me before it was in the newspapers » she turned to me.
„ are 15…and I..“ God. How could we have been so naive, thinking the girls won^t read anything about that!

„ Yeah. I^m 15. And I do have internet access.And I can read. What a surprise ! So why did you have to tell the reporters ? About the club and such »

« Because, if we hadn^t , they would have found out for themself and had made one big scandal smut story out of it. Because, if we hadn^t , some of those club members would possibly sell stories to the press, and no one would care whether they are true or not.So we had to tell the truth, in our own words.WE did it, Amber, Roger and I.Together. »
« I know. Sorry for the yelling.I understand. Why you had to tell them.But…is Jonathan right? I mean, is Roger…“

„ What? My sex toy? Amber LeBon, after all the time we^ve spent together, you, Roger and I, how can you think that he is anything less than the man I^m truely madly deeply in love with? Our relationship is a bit different than others, I admit. »
„ I really really like you two, you know.And I…I guess I have a little crush on Roger.And I wanted to punch uncle Jonathan straight in the face and I yelled at you because…because… I don^t want Roger to be hurt. Are you mad at me now ? »
« Why should I, Amber ? »
« Because I have a crush on your boyfriend. Because I think that your boyfriend is incredibly hot »
« He^s too old for you.He is gay. And he^s mine.So i couldn^t care less“ I smiled , pulling Amber in my arms „ I won’t tell Daniel“

My godchild and I went back into the living room to find Simon and Yas there
„Where are Saff and Otchee?“ Amber asked, grabbing a piece of cake.
« Went for a walk. Serious talking » her dad winked.
„Simon, Yas, I am sorry that we caused so much trouble here. I never wanted..“
„ Stop, Nick“ Yasmin interupted. „ You two talked with all of us about what to do with the press. We all have agreed on your way. Don^t think that we haven^t talked about it with Amber ans Saffron. They are no babies anymore. And Jonathan…well, you know Jonathan“

You never told me about this serious talk with Saffron.No details.
It¨s between Saffron and you. And whatever it was, from that day on you two had the same connection as you and Lulah.
Amber was closer to me, at that point. I guess, it^s because of the crush she had and still has on you.

Brings me to the two other teenage girls in your life, Gemma and Julie, your nieces.
It was our housewarming where I first met them.
Steve had kept an eye on us since that lunch and when he had noticed our strong bond with the LeBon girls, he finally decided that meeting me would not do his daughters any harm.
So the whole Taylor-clan showed up for our party.
Your parents, Steve with his wife Lizzie and the girls, two cars full of Taylors.
„Hey Ladies“ you laughed when they bursted into the packed living room, yelling „ Uncle Roger“
They kissed you, each girl on one cheek, in perfect synchrony.
« Gemma, Julie, this is Nick. Nick, my fabulous nieces Gemma and Julie“ you introduced us with a bow.
„ Hi!“ Julie, the younger one smiled at me when she took my hand
Gemma in turn acted with all the coolness of a 16year old, giving me one of those Taylor-looks with a raised eyebrow and just waved one^s hand.
She looked so much like you, posture and all, that i had to bite my tongue not to laugh.
„Hello you two. I^m happy to meet you »
You went with the whole clan in tow to show them around
Next time i saw them, they sat in the kitchen with Amber and Saffron, giggling like mad.
I turned with a smile and met Steve^s gaze. He raised his beer bottle and winked.
„ It seems that they like your place“ he said.
„Looks like that“
„Would you mind them to be around more often, then?“
„It would be a pleasure to have them around. Their parents are also invited“
Not a man of many words, your brother. But it was his way to show me that he is trusting me now.
Yes, living together has made things easier. Many things.

I just got a message from Sonya and Carlos today, by the way.

Chapter Text

Sonya and Carlos, Well, who would have guessed that?

I think it was the day after Sonya had told you about them when he called you while we were having breakfast
You had a long talk, more than an hour, and when you came back into the kitchen you looked slightly puzzled.
« Wow. Fuckfuckfuck. » you muttered, and I had to laugh. Hadn^t heard that for quite a while.
« Nick, you will never ever believe that »
„ Has he called to get an advice how to be a proper sub?“ i chuckled.
„ Duh! Yes, he actually has.How strange is that?“ you shook your head in disbelief.
„Nick…have you ever accompanied a session? I did that a few times at the Velvet. For newbies.Carlos aked, if we would. »
« Homophobic macho Carlos wants to have a gay couple around on his first trip to sub space ? This is indeed strange.Have done it for Michael and Jason long time ago, to answer your question »
« To be honest, I can^t imagine Carlos in sub space at all. I mean…Carlos ! »
« I bet many people could not imagine YOU there, either » I grinned when I pulled you close.
« True »you said « But still…Carlos ! He^s a nervous wreck right now . told me that he^s having a crush on Sonya from the first moment on and that he nearly got a heart attack when she showed up fully dressed, bullwhip in hand, for one of those audition nights.Sonya can make one hell of a show out of it.. Looking like a living cliche, with the heels and leather dress and all, but I have to admit it fits her.Not to mention that she is, with no doubts, the best one with the bullwhip I ever have seen. She can switch lights on and off with whip lashes, no joke. Carlos was all impressed back then, when he first saw it. He had to think about it ever since, he said.But he has never allowed himself to admit that he…the cool puerto rican macho…is thrilled by the thought of being whipped.Well..they have tried a few things now,nothing serious, just testing. And he thinks he is into pain and eager to find out more, so we are invited to see them this evening and they want us to accompany their very first session. What do you think?“

„I^m in if you are“I smiled.Should be an interesting evening.

That day i saw you in 2 situations with other men who could not have been more different. Men and situations.But the way you acted in both of them is so you, that those two moments will always be connected in my mind.
First one was in the studio, were we all met up around midday to work on new songs.
You and John were jamming along to one of Si^s lyrics, not really happy with it.
Then John turned to your kit and it was like you two would build up something like a telepathic connection. Facing each other, you started to play. Like you^d fight, one made a new move ( sound, in that case) and the other reacted. You both seemed to challenge the other.
Soon you had us all staring at you.
„Yeah! Come on! Come on!“ John yelled «
Ok. This wasn^t a fight. This could only be described a musical sex. Pure, hard, honest musical sex,the two of you became one, one rhythm, one beat, one bassline.You gave yourself over to the music and it ended with a synchroneus orgasm as the two of you yelled out a « YEEEEAAAH » You dopped the sticks and John set the bass aside to take you into a bear hug when you literally jumped on him,the two of you so happy with the knowledge that you had created something very special.
Simon, who obviously had exactly the same thoughts ,turned to me, smiling all over « How is that, Nick, seeing your best friend having a musical orgasm with your boyfriend ? »
„ Giving me a bloody hard on“ i grinned. And that was the truth,.

At seven we arrived at Sonya^s.
« I^m all excited » you said before we rang the doorbell „ Not sure what to expect“
« Same here. Shall we? »
Sonya opened the door and we both could only say *wow*
With no doubt Sonya is a very attraktive woman, one of those natural beauties who would look fab even in lumps.
But Sonya with full make up,a leathercatsuit and high heels….as you said, like a living cliche, but fitting her so well.
„Perfectly in time“ she beamed and led us into her living room.
I heard you gasp by the scene in front of us. Lights dimmed. All furnitures out of the way and a naked Carlos kneeling in the middle of the room,blindfolded, his head bent, hands resting with palms up on his thights.The whip decorativly wrapped around his upper body.
„Carlos“ Sonya said softly.“ They are here“
All quiet she led my to the sofa and gestured me to sit down, pointing at a drink on the table.
Then she turned to you and whispered something in your ear
You nodded in unterstanding and sat crosslegged on the floor, right in front of Carlos, who was visibly shaking.
„Hey Carlos, it^s me. Am I allowed to touch you ? »
Your voice was all soft and calm, full of sympathy for the man before you.
Carlos nodded and you cupped his cheek with one hand.
Sonya bend down to cover your hand with hers,
„ You do trust me , Carlos,do you ? » she asked
« I do » Carlos answered with a trembling voice.
„Let me tell you what we are going to do now, darling. Roger will help you up, and you can hold on him. You know he^s one strong man and he won^t let you fall.But the main reason for him being here is, that he is very good at reading signs.
I know, Carlos, you, being the proud and stubborn man you are, won^t tell me when it^s too much. Roger will know“Sonya explained.She placed a hand on Carlos^shoulder and in one swift move she took the whip away from him. You stood up and stepped back to make space for Sonya so that she could kiss her man gently on his lips „ I love you“
And the woman went, whip in hand, in one corner of the room. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths.
You touched Carlos‘ shoulder and took one of his hands. „Ready to get up?“ With a sigh the puerto rican allowed you to pull him up.
„Carlos, my friend, you can hold my shoulders, you can lay your arms around me, whatever you want and what^s feeling comfortable for you ok?
He held on to your shoulders and you gave Sonya a a thump up.
It was touching, yet erotic to watch you three. Carlos is just a tad taller than you are and the two of you matched perfectly. Sonya in her cat-like dress reminded me of a black panther at prey.
She let the whip crack and the hair on my arms stood up on end by that sound.
The first lash landed exacly between his shoulder blades. Not much impact, but enough to make him jump.He gritted his teeth, wanted to be strong. Taking it like the proud man he is, not allowing himself to make a noise . The more he tensed up against the lashes, the more it hurts and after five or six strikes you gestured Sonya to stop.
In a split of a second she was beside her lover to hold him from behind.
„ Carlos, relax. Let go.Moan, scream, curse me, just let go. »
« I can^t » he blurted.
« Darling, no one will laugh at you, no one will think that you are weak“
„ I know. I want it, but I don^t know how.“He reached for the blindfold and removed it,
Took me a while to get the meaning of his next words.
„Roger, would you show me? How to let go ? Would you let me watch ? »
« Carlos, I..i don^t know. I..» you were completely taken aback.
So was I.
So was Sonya.
„Time out.“ She sighed and handed Carlos a bathrobe.“ Let¨s sit down an talk »
« I^m sorry, Sonya, I^m really sorry, I just…i can^t » Carlos said when we all had settled on the sofa, you in my lab.
« Carlos, there^s no need to be sorry.It^s all ok“ Sonya assured him.
„ But i still want it. I really do want^s been in my head for so long now.Please, teach me how to let go, Roger.“
„ Wow, Carlos.Thank you for your trust and all, but...last time you saw two men together you nearly puked. And I really don^t want you to be disgusted.I don^t need that . We are friends, and I^m not going to risk your friendship by that“
„That was more than a year ago, Roger. It was unexpected. And it wasn^t you. I¨ve seen you and Nick kissing and touching many times, i^ve heard you screaming and begging,Remember that femdom night. And I have been so touched by the state you were in when you came out of the playroom.You were beaming all over. I want to see how you get there.And, if you don^t mind, Nick, I want Sonya to participate.“
„Oh“ Sonya smirked.
„Oh indeed. What do you think, Sonya?“I asked, reaching for my phone and scrolled through your messages.
„ Well, what about * what do you think, ROGER* before making plans here?“ you said, but there was a hint of a smile and a slight blush that told me you started to like the idea.
„ What do you think, Roger? Does it fit?“ And I handed you my mobile, your message on display.

*Six :a game in front of an audience. Others to partcipiate, if it fits. Not sure about the last bit, but it^s definately a phantasy of mine*

« I knew you would do that the moment you took it out » you chuckled, blushing even more. « Would you folks just give me a minute here, something like that was definatly not in my mind for today, Duh.“
Sonya went to the kitchen and came back with a tray of champaigne glasses.
The tension in the room was quite notable when we sipped the cold pearly liquid.I could feel your body against mine, so solid and warm and inviting, and I burried my nose into the curve where your neck meets your shoulder, inhaling your unique, wonderful scent.Once again I realised what a miracle it was that we had met.
„I love you“ I muttered against your skin.I won^t force anything here, it was all up to you.
Carlos and Sonya knew that and they were staring at you in anticipation.
You exhaled audibly and looked Carlos straight in the eyes. „ Do you really want this? Do you really want to watch? You know, Carlos, for me the whole pain thing is very…sexual. And.. » Carlos grabbed your neck and kissed you. And I mean, he kissed you! Passionately, deep. Me and Sonya could just stare at you two, mouths open und utterly surprised.
„What was that?“ you gasped breathless when he broke the kiss.
„ That was a kiss , i^d say. First time I have ever kissed a man.I^m still alive and I guess i liked it. So, Mister Roger Andrew Taylor, first man i ever have kissed, I want to let you know that I^m successfully cured from homophobia.And yes, I really really want to see you naked and being tortured.I am sorry, Nick, i didn^t want to be disrespectful or^s just…“
„ No problem, Carlos, not the hint of a problem“
„ No problem?“ Sonya laughed „ That was incredibly sexy! Oh my!“
„Uh“ you smirked „ Yeah, it was“
„Are you in?“ Sonya asked, giving your biceps a squeeze.
And you turned to me and said quietly. « Yes, I think this is going to fit »
« Yay ! » she jumped up « Follow me, Nick. We need to talk. You two, don^t you dare to move. » she kissed Carlos and licked her lips. „ Hmmmm. Carlos, Champagne and a tad of Roger. I like that¨ »
We went to her bedroom to talk and for some other equipment, since I was not familiar with the bullwhip.
When we came back, the two of you were chatting quietly and had a smoke,
„Gentlemen, would you please stub out your cigarettes and come here » Sonya started.
You did as being told, and it was extremely touching to see that you were holding hands.
Because it has been Carlos who asked for all this and he is Sonyas partner, we had decided that Sonya would take the lead.
„ Carlos, we have to get Roger out of his clothes, would you kindly take care of that?“
He hesitated, but you encouraged him with one of your little smirks.
Within no time you were naked.
„ How very nice!Really, Mister Taylor, that body of your^s is a pleasure to look at. Now, Carlos, get rid of this bathrobe, will you?“
And there you were, facing each other, all naked. Carlos pulled you close, his arms around your waist, and you leaned your head against his shoulder,
„Aren’t they beautiful, Nick? *
„ They indeed are“
„You know, i have some fine jewellery to make them even more beautiful“ She took two pairs of nipple clamps, each one linked with a silver chain,
„ Would you help me with that,Nick?“
One pair connecting your right nipples, the other one the left, chains crossing between your bodys. Sonya was right. It made you even more beautiful.

I have to say, my Roger, I never was really into this * sharing and group session *-thing, and certainly not with a woman involved.
And it surprised me to no end how much I have enjoyed it just to watch you two together, standing there, literally chained to each other, how easy it was to let Sonya lead and how magnificent she looked in her all cliche leather outfit.
The most surprising thing was, though, that i was hoping for another kiss,another touch from Carlos. I would never have guessed that seeing you with another man could be such a turn on for me.

I had to kiss you, right in front of him, my hands in your hair, pulling you close to me. And your lips parted to let me in, to let me explore the warmth of you mouth, quite aware of the fact that Carlos was watching and that he was so close we both could feel the radiating heat from his body.
You moaned softly and stepped back just a wee bit, not breaking the embrace with Carlos or our kiss, but I felt the familiar tension of your body, knowing that there was something you weren’t comfortable with.
„ What is it?“ I asked quietly, looking into your mahogany eyes.
„ Uh..I^m getting a hard on here, don^t want to rub it against Carlos“
The man chuckled.“ My my, Roger! You are sweet, really.Still afraid to upset me, aren’t you?“And he pulled you close, pressing his body against yours.
„Oh“ you gasped.
„ Can you tell that disgust is the very last thing I^m feeling here, yeah?“he smiled and gave you one of his usual hair ruffles

I felt my knees getting weak when Sonya joined you, one hand on Carlos‘ back, one on yours, gently going down your spines to your butts, to give both of you a playful slap. The contrast between your naked skin and the shining black leather, her blood red nails …it was like a Helmut Newton photography.
„ Ready when you are“ she said softly and stepped back to pick up the whip.
The two of you were mirroring the scene from before, just the other way around.
Your hands holding onto Carlos^ shoulders, your eyes fixed to his.
« Ever so ready » you said.
I stood with a certain distance, but close enough to watch both of your faces for reactions.
The first lash blew the air out of your lungs and let me hold my breath.
That was something completely different than with Carlos before. Sonya knew you^re experienced, and she wasn^t holding back.
„Oh god“ you moaned when she had found her rhythm, the strokes coming hard and fast, and you threw your head back, giving yourself over to the pain.
The air was filled with the cracking sound of the whip, your moans and Sonyas heavy breathing, as she was giving herself into it as much as you did.
Carlos never stopped to look at you,he saw your face soften when you begun to fly, when your moans became sweet litte whimpers which finally drifted into dreamy ah^s and oh^s.
Time for the next part.
Without words Sonya went behind Carlos She had to pause for a moment to remind herself to slow down now, but once she started to whip her lover, he had no problems to accept it.
I got myself a cane and soon the two of you were moaning together, holding each other.
„Please, Roger..Roger, touch me. I …oh god » Carlos gasped and he pushed his hips against you with such a force, that you stumbled back.
« Oh » you turned to me,eyebrows raised, all surprised yet again.
« Your choice, Roger » I said quietly.
« Please. I need..i want…Roger, please. » Carlos repeated , his voice dark from lust.
You reached between his legs, and that face of your^s when you did so, that little smirk, the slight hint of disbelief, that face of your^s made it to the top ten of Roger-images.
You cupped his balls with one hand, rolling them, nowing that he would need a gentle contrast to the pain.
He let his head fell against your shoulder and flung the arms around your waist.
„ Carlos, give me some space, will you » you said softly and you stroked up and down his length with one hand, the other one still rolling his balls.One hand slow, one a little faster.
Drummer skills.I love drummer skills.
So does Carlos, according to the noises he made.
I reached for your cock from behind, and the two of us found our rhythm together.
Sonya dropped the whip and came over to watch us. And when we noticed that both of you were close, we removed the clamps, pushing you over the edge with the immense pain it brings when the blood rushes back in into your numb nipples.
Sonya and i were holding you, she from behind Carlos, me from behind you,
A perfect moment of closeness, of understanding.
We used to call it *the night of the oh^s * later. What a pun.

Chapter Text

And now for something completely different.
John has just reminded me of that.
My mom, She’s so in love with you and it makes me so happy that she is always introducing you as *my son- in- law, Roger*
It was the golden wedding anyversary of my parents and they had a big celebration party at the Savoy with about 150 guests, including the band and their families.
I had arrived there earlier, together with my parents, and you were on the way with yours.
„Nick!“ One of my mother^s friends, a former schoolmate, embraced me warmly. „Long time no see. God, you were ten or so when I last saw you !Wife, kids? Tell me!“
„ No wife, no kids, Hilda.“ I smiled. It was about the 20th time someone had asked me about wife and family that evening.“ Happy with a handsome husband“
„Oh, really? Where is he?“
„Stucked in a traffic jam. Will be here soon“
It was just then when you entered the room, and my jaw dropped.
I had seen you in suits before and I like it very much, you wearing suits, but something was different with this one. You really looked like a film star. I don^t know, maybe it was the ambiance , the way you moved, that smile in your face when you spotted me, I don^t know.
Hilda elbowed me.“ Someone is absolutely in love here,I see ?“
You approached us and I wasn^t able to speak.
„ Hey, precious diva“ you smiled, kissing me on the cheek.
« You are the handsome husband, i assume? Hilda Barton, nice to meet you »
« Roger Taylor, nice to meet you too. Has he just called me his handsome husband? » you chuckled.
« He has » » I laughed,and pulled you close for a real kiss.
My mom came over and grabbed your arm
„Roger, darling, I have to introduce you to some friends“
„ And there goes my handsome husband with my beautiful mom“ I sighed „ Come, Hilda, we will get us a drink“
Hilda took my arm and we went to the bar.
Simon and Yasmin were there with John and Gela.
„Your mon is showing Roger around, telling everyone he is her son-in-law“ John grinned.“How cute is that?“
„Me and my mom, we are having a crush on Rogers, you know“
We met again when the band started to play and my parents were dancing to Sinatra^s *fly me to the moon*
« Ah, there you are, handsome husband, finally escaped from my mother^s grip“I squeezed your arm. «I have to tell you that you are looking absolutely gorgeous tonight, Mister Taylor »
« So do you, Mister Rhodes »
There was something special in the air between us, and I got a bit lost in your mahogany eyes, wondering that I never had noticed the golden sparkles in them.
„You two look like love sick idiots“ Saffron interupted , yet again with the legendary eye-roll.
„Do we?“ you chuckled „ Well, maybe it^s because we ARE love sick idiots“
„Oh please! Roger, would you dance with me? I^m so sickof the lads at dance class, no sense of rhythm, i swear ! »
« My pleasure, Miss LeBon »
And the two of you rushed off to the dance floor.
« Hey » Yasmin leaned over. « Do you think we^ll have the opportunity to stare at Rogers ass again tonight ? »
« Go, find a Billard table, Yas. »We laughed and she laid an arm around my shoulder.
„ What is it, Nick? He is so…different tonight. I can’t figure what it is“
« I can^t figure it out for
myself, but you are so right.No matter what it is, I absolutely love it »We smiled at each other and ordered another drink.
A while later Saffron came back, grinning all over « You have to save Roger, I think, your mom^s friends will never let him go until he has danced with all of them. »
« Saffron, do me a favour and ask the band to play a song for me, will you ? »
« Sure. What song ? »
I told her.
Eye-roll big time.
It took two more songs before they played it and I asked Hilda, the happy woman in your wonderful arms, „ May I have my handsome husband back, Madam? They are playing our song“
You. In my arms. Your head against my shoulder and this annoying James-Blunt-song.
„He was wrong“ you whispered.
„ Who?“
„ James Blunt. The * I will never be with you* part.“
„ Thank god he was“ I burried my nose in that elegant curve of your neck.
„i love you, Roger Andrew Taylor“
« And i love you, Nicholas James Bates »
« Saffron is right, I^m one love sick idiot tonight.What is it, Roger ? Even Yas has noticed that there is something different.You are different.You nearly killed me when you came in. You are beaming.“
„I^m beaming because i^m happy, Nick.Happy, that James Blunt was wrong. That I^m here with you at your parent^s aniversary . That your mom is telling everyone I^m her That you are calling me your handsome husband. I am happy about a little silver bell in the living room and the cane beside the bed.I^m happy because with you I can be me, by all means.“

Later this evening, one of my mother^s friends was the lucky one in your arms again, my dad joined me at the bar.
„Would you mind to have a whisky with your old man?“ he grinned, patting my shoulder.
„ Lagavulin?“I smiled.
„ You know me, don’t ya? Nick,I wanted to tell you that I^m very proud of you. We had our arguements about your lifestyle and all, but ..all I ever wanted is that you are happy. That your dreams would come true. And here you are, a famous rockstar. I still miss the wife and family part a bit, I have to admit, but I like Roger. He^s one fine man“
„To the fine Rogers in my life“ I raised my glass and happily embraced my dad.
When the photographer took the official pictures of the Bates Family, there was a Taylor in them. My beaming mom was framed by two Rogers.


The first ( and last, so far)) time you ever have yelled at me was in Brighton, when we finally wanted to show up at one of Madame Claires legendary parties..
We had checked in to the Hotel, together with Sonya and Carlos, and were about to leave for Madame’s villa.Our friends knocked at the door to pick us up.
„Wow“ I said when I let them in.
Sonya wore a blood red latex catsuit, matching her nails and lipstick.
Carlos in black leather pants and a ruffled shirt.
And a massive leather collar with a metal ring. A metal chain with a leather loop on it^s end, held by Sonya.
« Oh. » you said. « she has turned you into a golden retriever, I see »
« Roger » she warned you. « No arguement here. It’s simply not your business »
« I wonder, Carlos, do you bark or sit up and beg if she tells you to ? »your voice dripped with irony.
That was so not you.
Carlos was very upset „ Like Son said, mate, it^s not your business.“
„ But you can still speak for yourself, my friend, yeah?“ you blurted.
„ You now what?“ I intervened.“ Taxi is waiting outside. Take it, we^ll come later.ok?“
„ Ok then. You should teach him some manners. See you later`“ Son rushed off, Carlos literally in tow.
You sat there on the bed, that face of your^s all provoking.
« What was that ? » I leaned against the wall.
„ What?“
„ Stop that, Roger.“
„ Or what? You will teach me some manners?“you snapped.
„What the hell is your problem? It^s their thing. If they want it this way, collar, leash, whatever, it^s their^s. Very unfair to judge others for their kinks, don^t you think? Especially when they are friends.“
„ I^m not judging.“ You blurted.
„ I think you do. You have insulted your friends“
„ I^m just being honest. » you yelled
« No, Roger, you are stubborn and defiant here » I tried to keep my voice calm. So not you ! « Roger, what is it ? Why such a fuss about a collar ? »
« It dehumanizes people. It changes them into things, into pets “you explained, your tone still filled with anger.
I sat beside you and reached for your hand « Well , beside the fact that some people want to be dehumanized and some want to be pets, I think you are exaggerating a bit here. For most of them it^s just a symbol. Something that helps getting into sub mode. Or dom mode.Something that shows that you are in a special relationship.A reminder. And for some people it has a meaning and it is important for them, so don’t judge them. This is so not you, Roger“
I figured that there was more, something deeper.You know what they say about those wo are fighting against things so passionately. Like all those people who will never get tired to tell everyone that homosexuality is against nature.They are maybe fighting against their own needs.

We arrived at the party about an hour later.Both of us are not into some kind of fetish thing, so you wore leather pants like Carlos and were barefoot and topless.Me in a smoking, happy to have my new purchase with me, a metal walking cane with a hidden crop in it.And the bag with some eqiuipment, of course.
Madame Claire welcomed us with a warm embrace „Finally! « she beamed. «I have missed you at the last party ! »
„I^m sorry for not giving you a call, we have been very busy with the band“ I excused.
„I have noticed that.It was so thrilling to see you on TV. Never made it to one of your concerts, though. Roger, dear, let me know what you think about the buffet. Sonya has already complained »
She guided us into the decadent hall.Very classy.Elegant seating furnitures, candelabers, a bar, an opulent buffet and a lot of things to play with. St. Andrew^s crosses, a few pillories, punishing bocks and so on.
We spotted Sonya and Carlos and went to them.
„Hey!“ Sonya smiled all over and hugged us, so did Carlos. Not vindictive, those two.
.“ Hey!“you said quietly and placed a hand on Carlos^arm. « I^m sorry , Mr Rodriguez, that was mean.“
„It^s ok, Roger.“ He ruffled your hair, a so familiar gesture by now that Sonya and I had to smile.
„Drinks?“ you suggested. We made our orders and you went to the bar.
„ In better mood now, your man?“ Sonya elbowed me.
„ Obviously. But you are right, we should teach him some manners“ I grinned.
„ We?“ she smirked
„You, Carlos and me, yes.“ I smiled wickedly.Fortunately it took you quite a while to get the drinks, so we had some time to make a plan.Sonya, familiar with the premises and well known by the kitchen staff, rushed off to make some preparations.
Not much later all four of us sat in one of those corner boothes, watching the scene.
No privacy here, all players on display.Something completely new for me, for us.
The last times you^d been here it was for work and you rarely came out of the kitchen.The atmosphere was very erotic with the candle light,some classic music played in the background, not loud enough to overlay the moans and screams and whip crackings. The guests in there fetish dresses or evening outfits were a pleasure to look at.

« Oh wow, look at that ! He has fangs“ Sonya whispered and pointed at a couple playing near us. The woman naked, her pale slender body fixed at a St. Andrews cross, the man dressed in a vampire costume. He was biting her neck with his fangs and a thin stain of blood was running down her skin.She had her eyes closed,lips slightly parted, her face beaming with pure devotion.
I^m not into bloodplay, but that was incredibly sexy.
„You know, Nick, fangs would fit you! You do remind me of a vampire sometimes“ Carlos said and I heard you chuckle.
« i have some. Had them made for a halloween party by a very talented dentist. No plastic crap“ I let my fingers trail over your biceps and was rewarded with a wonderful noise.
« You`d like that, hm ? » I asked and leaned over to bite a spot above your collar bone.
„Hmmmmm“ you purred and let your head fall back to expose your neck for me.
« I will search for them when we are back home » I promised and bit down that inviting body part of yours.
„Yessss“ you hissed and that was the starting signal for the three of us.
Carlos pushed the small coffee table aside and dropped down to his knees before you to unbuckle your belt. Without hesitation you lifted your hips to let him remove your pants. Sonya handed me a medical glove and the lube out of my bag. With a big evil grin she took out the ginger plug she had carved in the kitchen earlier, carefully wrapped in paper tissues.
You gasped when my lubed fingers penetrated you and you pushed against them,eager to feel me deeper inside,
« All greedy and impatient , my Roger, aren^t you?“ I laughed and fingered you until you were panting.

Then Carlos grabbed your neck. „ Look at me“ he demanded, and when your eyes opened he came close to your face and said « You know what, my friend ? Sonya never made bark but we will make you howl today ! »
With that, I pushed the plug into you.
„Hold still“I whispered „Wait for it“
Your eyes widened when you stared at me and slowly recognized what I had done.
Watching your face while the ginger archieved the desired effect was a pleasure for all of us, not to mention your sweet little noises.
„You owe Carlos an excuse“ Sonya said finally and let her well manicured hands wandering along your torso.“Don^t you think?“
Your hazy gaze fixed at Carlos, you pulled him up into your arms and kissed him, your tongue darted out to lick his lips until he let you in, returning the favour
Again the sight of you and Carlos together gave me shivers all over and when the kiss deepened and you grabbed for his hair, softly moaning into his mouth. I was panting, desperate to see what we had planned next.

« That^s not enough , Roger ! By far not enough!“ Sonya snapped when you parted
Again you held Carlos^s eyes with yours when you reached to gently stroke his cheek with your thumb.
« What can I do for you, my dear? »
« I want this wonderful mouth of your^s around my cock »he whispered.
Your eybrows shot up « Oh »you smiled mischievously « You are healing from homophobia very well, don^t ya ? » Turning to me,you asked. »May I ? »
« You have heard the man“ I grinned and pulled you close to get a taste of your wonderful mouth myself.
Now it was you who dropped to his knees to unbuckle a belt.
Sonya wrapped her arms around her lover from behind and pulled him back until he was sitting half reclined between her legs, his hips at the edge of the sofa.
He gasped when you started to lick up and down his length and nearly jumped as the talented tongue of your^s gave his balls an extra treatment.
Your eyes fell close and you focused on the rock hard cock in front of you.
What can i say ? I was so turned on that my hard-on became painful. Oh yes, i know what it feels like, your tongue, your mouth on the hot flesh, and when you took his whole length in your mouth, I moaned as loud as Carlos did.
It didn¨t take long until Carlos pulled back and spilled his load all over your bare chest.
„Oh Jesus“ he panted „ Holy fuck“
You looked up and our eyes met, holding each other for a while.
„How^s the ginger doing, Roger?“I whispered.
„it works quite well, thank you.“you returned quietly when you rose from the floor „ You won^t pull it out yet, I guess?“
„ You have guessed that right. According to your dripping hardness it is not that bad, I assume. »
It^s always such a pleasure to see you blushing.
« Lean over the armrest, will you ?“ I stood up and took the crop out of the walking cane. A very thin instrument, The biting pain would match with the burning ginger so well.
Carlos, who had recovered fast, sat close to the armrest so that you could lean your head against him.
But I pulled your head back and whispered in your ear.“ You know that we have a very interested audience here, do you?“
And for the first time you noticed the spectators, about ten to fifteen, who stood in a safe distance.
« Uh. » A pleasure to see you blush, did I mention that before ?

This crop was exellent. It produced the most wonderful noises from you when it drew beautiful fine lines on your shaking body. I love it so much when you get loud, and you got very loud, especially when Carlos finally found his guts to reach for your cock, something he wasn^t sure about when we had talked earlier.
You came with such a force that even Sonya^s red latex got decorated.
Like last time we hold each other close for a very long time before you and Carlos went to the showers, all naked and holding hands again.
« We are some lucky people, aren^t we ? » Son smiled when she cleaned her suit with some paper tissues.
« Hell, yes, we are, we are ! » I pulled her close to kiss her cheek.
„I would never have guessed that I would like it so much, seeing them together.“ She said.
„Exactly my thoughts. Odd, hm?“
„I like odd things“ she smirked, and we kissed again.
I went to the buffet to load a plate for all of us and the guy in the vampire costume stood beside me.“ Excuse me, I won^t bother you, but can i tell you something?“ he asked.
« Sure »
« That was amazing.I^m really not into men, but that was utterly erotic.Thanks for that!“
„ You two were a pleasure to look at either“ I returned the compliment.

Carlos was back when I placed the food on the small table, in an intimate embrace with his woman.
„ Roger went for drinks, will took him a while“ he explained.
„I^ll go help him“ I wanted to have you near ,wanted to see that face of your^s , that unique glow you have after an intense session.
„Hey you“ i hugged you from behind. How^s my handsome husband?“
You smiled and reached behind you to pull my head against your neck.“I`m one happy man“
„A happy man who smells really good“ I sniffled, my nose yet again burried in the that well known curve.
On our way back to the table, loaded with drinks, I spotted an interesting piece of furniture that I hadn^t noticed before.Interesting, very interesting.

I couldn^t take my eyes off of you that evening.And I was not the only one.
Well, I can^t blame anyone.You were stunning in those leatherpants which fitted like a glove. You should wear them more often. Way better than jeans.
Your torso also attracted attention with it^s v-shape, the fine lines all over your muscled back, your broad chest with that beautiful nipples , so decoratively framed by soft dark hair. For a man in his 40^s you were…you are!.. in incredibly good shape.
Still, I think it was your face that caught the most attention.Your slightly swollen lips, the sparkling mahogany eyes and lashes to make the girls green with envy.
You were beaming and most of the crowd knew why. Your appearance was pure sex.
The contrast between your strong body and ,the proudness and confidence in your moves and still there was this touching meekness.Some would say you are shy. I won^t call it shy. You are very open, you just don^t feel the need to be in the focus all the time, like Simon or even John.
But that evening, you were. Unintentionally, but you were. Maybe it was because a lot of people here knew who we are.
Well, I didn^t mind.
Cliche or not, I let you kneel in front of me and fed you with little bits from the plate,nearly drowning in the pools of your dark brown eyes.
Watch everybody, this sexy thing is mine.

When we were finished with food and drinks, Son and Carlos went for a second round.The man fixed at the cross and Sonya demonstrating her bullwhip skills again.
We went closer to watch, me hugging you from behind, your leather cladded ass pressed against my hardness, your head rested at my shoulder and yet again I had to nibble at your neck.My god, you^ll kill me one day you know that? .My desire for you, the need to touch you, it will kill me one day.

„ Quite a difference to the first time, huh?“ you whispered when the lady made her man scream.
« Someone taught him to let go »I chuckled while my hands were busy to open your pants. „ I have seen something nice over there, my Roger, something I^d like to try out.“ My hand had found your balls and I squeezed them lightly,getting a sweet soft moan from you.
„Is that a yes?“ My other hand in your hair, pulling your head back. It was just like you had told me.Like a toggle switch.
„Yes, Nick, Whatever you want“Your voice so soft, so full of trust
I reached into my pocket for a blindfold and put it on you, attentivly watching for your reaction , since we had never used one before, but you seemed to be ok with it so I got you out of your pants and led you through the room, blind and naked,to that certain object I had spotted before. It was a cross shaped wooden table with a lot of leather straps attached.
Yet alone the sight of you when you were lying on it took my breath away.So beautiful..
A crowd was already forming around us and I noticed the blonde pale girl, the vampire^s maiden, staring at you with big blue eyes.
All excited, I started to fix the straps. One each for upper tights, ankles, upper arms and wrists.One around your waist. Then the last one. Ever so careful I lay the strap around your neck and closed it.
„All ok? Not too tight?“ I asked quietly, stroking your hair.Not easy to read you when I can’t see your eyes, but I wanted you like that; blind and fixed,outstretched and spreaded, almost completely unable to move.
It was exactly the neck strap which had caught my attention earlier. A leather strap around your neck. Does that remind you of something?
Would you freak out because it feels quite like a collar?
I let my fingers trail over your neck, over the strap and your breathing sped up a wee bit.
With excitement, not from fear, so much I could tell.I knew you long enough to recognize that.
Quietly I went to the blonde woman, wo was still staring at you in pure admiration.The vampire guy stood behind her, arms around her waist and I asked
„ Excuse me, if you don^t mind, would you two look for him since I have to get a few things and i don^t want him to be alone? Our friends are busy with other things right now. I^m Nick, by the way, and this wonderful man over there is my handsome husband Roger“
„Oh“ the vampire chuckled. „ We know who you are. My wife Mona here has dragged me to three of your concerts! I^m Dylan. Thanks for trusting us, we will take good care.“
The blonde blushed and smiled coyly.“ You can count on us »
The two followed me to the table.
« Roger , I have to leave you for a few minutes. Mona and Dylan here, the vampire and his maiden, will look after you, ok ?“
„Hmhm“ You already went deep into sub space.
Mona cupped your hand with hers and I went for the bag and something from the bar.
Some may say I^m overprotective, not leaving you alone for the very few minutes it took me to be back by your side, but I would never let you be unwatched when you are bounded.Not after what that bastard had done to you.
You should feel safe, always.
The couple stepped back as soon as I reached you. Something that I like at those parties. No one will ever dare to join in without invitation. No one will be touched without permisson. Even if events like this are full of half naked people and sex is everywhere around, people can be sure that they would not be harrassed.

I made my preparations and went round the table, touching you slightly every once in a while. My hands on your inner tights, my lips on your delicate hip bone, my tongue flickering over your nipples and after a few minutes you were quivering all over when I took the first of the tealights I had lit before and emptied the liqiud wax right over one stiff nipple. You gasped in shock and were still panting when the other nipple was been surounded by an ice cube.
Hot. Cold.I^m sure you couldn^t tell any difference after a while,your body covered with wax and waterdrops.
Such a pleasure.So wonderful.
Your tensed body urging for more and beeing oversensitive at the same time from too much and still not enough stimulation.
„Nick..oh god…Nick…please..ah..“ you gasped desperatly.
I removed the blindfold to look into your dark lustfull eyes before I reached for your hard throbbing cock.
„Come for me“ I whispered and with eyes wide open and fixed at mine you came.
Number one of my top ten list.

It was a few weeks later when we met Dylan and Mona again at an autograph session in the sony store.
Dylan took a photo of you and his wife, and you two had the most beautiful smiles on your faces.

Chapter Text

Moving together into that lovley house has been a very good desicion.
We had space and time for all the things which are important for us. You like to have guests for dinner or lunch, and often enough our place was filled with our moms and dads, your brother and his family or the LeBons.Sonya and Carlos where regular visitors either, also John and Gela, Andy and Trace or even all of them together.
We had a bunch of *girl^s nights* with Amber, Saffron and your nieces, and of course every once in a while your sweetheart Lulah was there, too.

One evening Son and you had cooked something persian and the LeBon couple was invited to act as some kind of *jury*

„Duh! That was delicious“ Yas commented when we were finished with the main course. „ I couldn^t have done any better!“
„Oh, a praise from the godess of persian cuisine herself“ you smiled and bowed deeply. « Thank you so much »
« Wait for the dessert » Sonya grinned.
We all had lots of whine with the food and everyone was slightly drunk.
„ I wonder…would you…erm“ Simon started and you and me looked amused at each other, since our singer was blushing.That is not something that happens very often.
„ Would you...take us to that club eventually?“he finished.
„ That^s a very good idea“ Sonya grinned, elbowing me „ you guys haven^t been there for ages! Michael would be so happy to see you!“
„ True.Haven^t seen Michael for quite a while.“ I agreed.
« Good timing you have, Simon ! There will be an open house party next week, everyone is invited.Would be a pleasure to have you there » Carlos said.

It was one busy week, yet again. The two of us seemed to miss each other almost everyday and we communicated via text messages and post it^s only for almost 4 days.
When I came home, you were already in bed , when I got up, you were gone, or the other way around.
*I need a vacation* you texted at day 5. *I miss you heaps*
*Same here. A weekend off would be fine.Just the two of us in the middle of nowhere sounds good to me* I answered.
* I^m all in! What about a cottage at Isle of Skye or something like that?* came your reply.
After I had done some internet research I wrote back * Wales, Monday to Wednesday ? Found something near Cardiff, looks quite nice.*
*Fine! Book it, i trust your taste ;) *

*Oh, you do? Good to know ;). So what about the velvet with Si and Yas Saturday?*

*Sure, why not?*

And it was Saturday when we finally woke up again next to each other.

„Excuse me, handsome stranger, what are you doing in my bed?“ I smiled and pulled you close. „Oh, and all naked! Dreams are coming true here“
„ All yours, sir.“ You grinned when you wrapped your arms and legs around me and we snuggled up under the sheets, all soft and cosy, not in the mood for some wild sex.
It was such a pleasure to have you near me, to inhale that *Roger scent* again and to feel that warm solid body of your^s pressed against mine.We snogged like teenagers with lots of giggles and laughters before you got up to make some coffee. I watched you leaving the bedroom and smiled to myself.
What a lucky man I am. Who would have guessed that when I plopped beside a handsome stranger in the tube?
„So“ you said when you were back with the cofffee mugs „ Velvet today with the LeBons? I have to say, this is a bit odd“
„Well, it is. Is it ok for you, though?“I wondered.
„Aye. I just wonder what they expect.“
„ They are just curious, I guess.I don^t think they are into it.Although Yas looked pretty good in leather and with a crop on the catwalk »I chuckled.
„ Oh yeah, she did! Simon was not THAT amused, I can tell“
„ I bet! Anyway, Roger, are you really ok with it?“
You gave me one of your famous Roger-looks, with lifted eyebrows and all.
« What is it, Nick ? You^re not planning to tie me up and let them watch, do you ? ».
„Don^t give me ideas“ I smiled and placed a butterfly kiss on your forehead.

The Velvet was pretty filled when we arrived.
Son and Carlos had no time to greet us properly, since they were very busy behind the counter although they had help from Michaels lover Jason.
A gray haired woman who looked somehow familiar tapped my shoulder.
« Long time no see,owner of Roger » she smiled and I recognized her as the one who had brought you some food from the buffet when we were here for the femdom night.
« Busy rockstar life » I smiled back « May I ask for your name, madam ? »
« I^m Violet. I see you brought some guests tonight.Welcome, Mr and Mrs LeBon »
« Oh, it^s Yas, please ! » the model said.
« Si » her husband grinned „Nice to meet you.“
„ Hi there, i^m Roger“ you chuckled and pulled Violet close.“Ladies and gentlemen. Lady Violet, Mistress of the ropes“
„ Ropes? What ropes?“ Yasmin questioned.
« Vi here is a well known shibari artist. Shibari is the art of japanese bondage“ you explained. « See that wooden ring there, hanging from the ceiling ?it^s called a suspension point and it^s used to tie people up“
« Yeah » Violet sighed. « There was a show planned for tonight, but my rope bunny has the flu and is now tied to the bed.I wanted to ask Nick if you could be the replacement,my dear Roger“

„Oh? I didn^t know that you are into bondage, handsome drummer. You never told me!“ I was quite suprised.

« Ah well, I wouldn^t say I^m *into it*, I have been the rope bunny for Violet a few times, when she needed someone to practice
« Rope bunny, that sounds funny. Funny bunny. And it rhimes. Maybe I can write some lyrics with that » Simon chuckled.

« Oh, i wanna see that ! Please! Say yes, Nick! Let her tie Roger up!“ Yas was literally bouncing.
I have to admit, the thought of you being tied up in ropes was something very interesting, so I agreed and Violet, you and me discussed about it a while before the two of you went into the office to work out some kind of choreography in private.

„So“ I turned to Yasmin, raising a brow „you want to see my man tied up?What is that about?“
„Er...“ she blushed and Simon chuckled: „ She^s just hoping that she can stare at his ass again. Don^t think I haven^t noticed that, Yasmin LeBon!“
„Oh come on, Charley! Who is flirting with the fan chicks all the time? Treat me the pleasure, will you?“
We laughed and caught the attention of Michael, who came over with a big smile in his face. „ Nicholas James! So good to see you! Did you bring the whole band?“
„ Just the singer and his beautiful wife.Oh, and the drummer will be bound by Violet , they are making plans in the office. Si, Yas, this is my friend Michael, the owner of this etablissement »
« Hi there. Hope you enjoy your stay so far.I know about Roger and Vi, just talked to them a minute ago. I^m glad that there will be a show since Violet is quite famous in the bondage community and i^m sure that some people came here to see her tonight.I^ll get you drinks. Show should start soon.“

Michael had just finished the sentence when the lights were dimmed and Carlos^voice came out of the speakers
„Ladies and gentleman,the Black Velvet team proudly presents a very extraordinary show tonight. Mistress Violet and a special guest will demonstrate you the art of bondage »
The suspension point was illuminated by a headlight and I had to laugh by the scene it showed.
You standing there, arms crossed, all macho, with an arrogant grin and lifted eyebrow. Barefoot and topless, like in Brighton with the famous leather pants only.
Mistress Violet circled you, one rope in hand, and me and theLeBons had to chuckle when the familiar beginning of *the chauffeur* flooded through the room.
The audience gasped when the Lady suddenly grabbed your hair and violently pulled your head back, hitting your thights hard with the short end of the rope.
I knew, you had to make a show, but I felt an unexpected twinge of jealousy when she did.
She then came very close to your face with her^s and literally stared you down until you dropped on your knees in front of her.
Show or not, it looked extremely real.
I swallowed hard.
*Oh come on, Rhodes! It^s a show. All fun.Cool down.Easy.*
„Sonya and you have been right…there is something beautiful about a man on his knees“ Yasmin whispered.
Simon just stood there with his mouth open when Violet sat behind you on the floor, pulled your arms behind your back and had bound them in no time.
She took another rope, held you close and wrapped it around your bare chest.
Your posture was pure submission , head tilted, eyes closed, lips parted and all I could think was *I don^t want that.I don^t want to see you like that with someone else. It^s mine. It^s ours.*
Michael came back with the drinks
„You ok?“ he asked quietly.
„Sure“ I lied. It was rediculous to feel like that. We had discussed it. I knew what she would do. I knew it^s for the effect. But still, I was dying of jealousy here.
„Sure, heh?“ my old friend who knew me so well didn^t buy it.“ Relax, Nicky, relax! When she^s finished, go to him and let everyone see that he^s yours. Don^t fuss.You know it^s fake.“
Yeah, he was right. Ain^t it funny that I had no problem to see you giving Carlos a blow job but was nearly freaking out about a stupid show?
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and so I missed the moment when Vi had you hanging finally.
She gave you a push and you were circling slowly, held by the ropes, an utterly beautiful image.
Until she squeezed one of your nipples and I heard that soft moan of yours.
*No. NO! Not that!*
Not thinking straight I was by your side in a split second.
Violet, all professional, stepped back immediatly.
Pulling your head back I stared into your widened eyes and whispered . „You are mine, Roger.Don^t forget about this. You are mine!“ And with that I slapped you right in the face, hard,on each cheek..
The audience gasped. They must have thought this was part of the show.
„ Stay here“ Violet said quietly when she started to unbound you. „ Hold him“
I wrapped my arms around you, holding your upper body and kissed your soft lips
„ God, Roger, i^m sorry, I^m so sorry, I don^t know what got into me.“ I murmured in your ear.
I felt you shiver and I thought you were crying.Shame rushed into me with such a force that tears started to run down my face.
Althought you had written in your very first * Dreams and phantasies*-message that being slapped is a turn on for you, I had never dared to do it.
It^s just that I had a terrible fear hitting too hard and hurt you seriously.
Here, in front of an audience and out of blind rage, it was definately the wrong time and place for such things.
„Nick“ I heard your trembling voice „ Nick, unless you want to play a classic humiliation game, please don^t let everyone see my massive hard on, yeah ?I^m dying here »
Your feet had finally reached the ground again, so I pulled you close, pressing my body against yours, extremly puzzled by the huge bulge in your pants.
« You know » you whispered against my shoulder « I doubt that this will help »
Vi had freed your arms from the rope and you flung them around me, your head leaned at my shoulder and I finally noticed that you shivered from giggles.
« Hell, Nick, what was that ? You caught me completely off guard .“you chuckled.
« Roger, again, i^m sorry. It was…to see you kneeling for her, to hear you moan when she touched you..I…I was so angry.And I shouldn^t slap you out of rage, that^s not right, i^m sorry!“
„ Oh Nick! Nick!“ you pulled me even closer and locked your eyes with mine.
„You know that I wasn^t kneeling * for her* And well, yes, I do react when someone touches me, I^m only human, aye? Would you please note the difference here?“ With that, you dropped down on your knees, hands behind neck and looked up to me, speaking loud and clear „ i^m yours, sir“
The audience applauded and cheered, Violet bowed down but we didn^t notice.
We were just looking at each other, lost in the moment.
Well, at least everyone knew now, that THIS wasn^t part of the show.

After the show the place wasn^t that filled anymore, Michael was right about the fans of Mistress Violet.
So we found some free space at the bar and ordered another drink after you got dressed again.
I still felt ashamed and I needed you near so I couldn^t stop touching and kissing you, murmuring a *sorry* every once in a while.
The look Sonya gave me didn^t help much either.“ That was idiotic, Nick!“ she blurted.
„I know“ I said quietly.
« Oh please » you rolled your eyes and the Lebons broke out in laughter.
« You are spending too much time with Saffron, I guess » Yasmin grinned. It was obvious that she tried to lighten the mood here.
„Propably yes“ you smiled and kissed the tip of my nose. „ Would you stop that now, Nick? I^m ok. It^s fine.Really“
„ No. No, it^s not. Something like this must not happen. I should never beat you out of rage.Never! this is sick“ I kept on blaming myself.
You cupped my cheeks with your hands and looked me into the eyes again.
„ If this is sick, precious diva, how sick is it then to be so turned on by it? How sick is it to know that you were wrong, to know that this happened out of absolute unjustifiably anger and still getting a hard on? So please stop this , for god^s sake! If you think this is sick, then I¨m the most sick person in the entire world, aye? And this is not such a good feeling, you know? Don^t regret it. You regretting it makes it feel wrong, and it felt right for me when it happened. Simon, are you coming with me for a fag? I need some fresh air“
« Oh well » Carlos said when you and the singer were gone.“ You messed up big time, I^d say ! »
« Jesus » Yasmin nearly yelled « he knows that ! Would you all just shut up now ! We all saw what it did to Roger, didn^t we? So could you please leave that between the two? Thank you very much! You folks are as stubborn as my daughters. You, Nick, go after Roger. And you, Carlos and Sonya, give me another drink and stop your comments, for fucks sake!“
„You^ve heard the mighty mistress“ Michael, who had joined us without being noticed laughed.

I found Simon outside the club, chatting with a few other guests.
« Where^s Rog ? » I asked.
„Around the corner with Violet“ the singer answered and I went to join you two

„ Ah.“ Vi spotted me first. „ Nick, I apologize if it was…well, I apologize“
„You don^t have to. I should apologize to you for messing up the show »

„You haven^t messed up the show. Au contraire. » she smiled « I^ll leave you guys alone, heh ? » with a wink she turned and walked back inside the velvet.
You stood there, leaned against the wall, a naughty grin in your face.
„What^s so funny,Taylor, huh?“ I smiled, pulling you close.
„You were jealous“ you asserted, grinning even more.
« Yes, I was. It was stupid and childish and all, but I was » I admitted.
„You don^t have to be jealous. Never. »your lips trailed along my neck.
« I know. I know that, Roger. See, you on your knees, it^s such a trigger…i know it^s so cliche but..ah, hear me, i^m all pink jellybean again here!“
„Not so much in control today, controller, hm?“your hot breath over my skin almost drove me crazy.
„No worries, control will be back“ I murmured and nuzzled at that curve again.
„I really appreciate that“ you whispered.
„Do you?“ I chuckled „ be careful what you wish for“
„I wish to give the controller the control. In Wales, maybe?“ you pulled me close to let me feel what this thought did to you.
«Oh, and I thought YOU are the one to fulfill MY dreams » I smiled.
« Tell me then, Nick. About your dreams.For once we should swap the *dreams and phantasies*-thing. Tomorrow you will write something“
„As you wish, sir“ I bowed and you gave me a playful slap over my head.
Hand in hand we went back into the club.
Si, Yas, Violet, Carlos and Michael had found a free lounge corner and sat there chatting and we joined them when a leather cladded mistress walked by, her almost naked slave on all fours, collared and on a leash.
To my surprise you jumped up and took the lady into one big bear hug.
„Diana!“ you beamed and when Diana spoke, we all noticed that *she* might be a *he* , according to the full bariton voice.
„Roger, darling! Too bad we have missed the show, but we were busy with your fucking monstreous divice. You brought the incredible Yasmin LeBon, I see. Such a pleasure, madam! « and she…he…whatever, bent down to give Yas a galant hand kiss. „ Diana Grande. You are my idol!“
„Oh well“ Simon said, glancing at the man on the floor „ I hope she won^t adopt your habits“
„Oh dear, where are my manners! This adorable thing there is my beloved Jared. Jar, sweety, you are allowed to get up and say hi“
You held out a hand for him to pull him up and you two ended in a warm embrace before Jared said hi to everyone. We moved closer together so that Diana could sit with us. Jared kneeled to her…his…gawd, this is confusing..feet.
Simon was all fascinated and his eyes flew forth and back between Diana and her sub.
„As you may have guessed, Diana is not my real name“ the transvestite said when he noticed Simon^s confused glances. « I^m Darran, actually, Diana ist just the evil me »
« And how evil she is » you laughed and patted Jared’s head.
« You have no idea » the man chuckled.
„Any complains?“ Diana lifted a brow and pulled on the leash shortly.
« No, Mistress » Jared tilted his head but we all saw his fat smile.
« You are absolutely stunning » Yasmin complimented « I would never have guessed that you are a man, if it^s not for your voice »
« Oh, thank you so much ! »Diana smiled all over.
„You know“ Michael explained.“ Diana and Jared are what we call switcher. That means, they do both sides of the coin. If Darren turns into Diana, she is the dom part. Darren himself prefers the sub side.“
„Ah. Ok. And how do you decide who is what? I mean, do you flip a coin or something?“Simon wanted to know.
« No » Diana laughed « it depends on the mood we^re in. Luckily most of the times our needs are matching quite well. And if not…well, then we^ll have a nice evening watching telly. Not that bad“
Si turned to me and before he could speak I said „No“
« What ? » he looked puzzled.
« Well, if you wanted to ask if we switch, the answer is no » I smiled.
« Oh well » Jared chuckled « Roger is a very good spanker, though, I can tell you ! »
« Can you ? » my turn to raise an eyebrow now.
« I told you not to mess up with the drummer, Jar ! » you smirked « There^s nothing better than the good old OTK to make you behave, huh ? »
« Is that so ? » my eyebrow went even higher.
„OT what?“Yasmin questioned.
„I`ll show you¨“ Diana winked and had Jared over her knees in no time. His head rested on your tights and you let a hand trail through his hair, smiling widely.
„OTK means *over the knee*, as you see. Good position to do that“ With that the mistress gave Jared^s ass quite an intense treatment with her bare hand.
„Roger“ I whispered in your ear „ would you please stop to ignore me, yeah?“I pulled your head back and came near to your wide open eyes.
„ So you spanked Jared, yes? „
„ On Diana^s order I did. Once. Long time ago » you whispered, your eyes fixed at mine.
« Aha » I let go of your hair. « and is there anything more you did that i should know about ? I didn^t know about the bondage and now you^re telling me you used to spank subs…so is there anything else?“
„ I^m not *used to spank subs*.It was only Jared. Once.That was it!“you sounded defiant.
„ Hey, no fuss, Nick!“ Diana interupted her work on Jareds already pink ass.“It was at the opening party and Jar had provoked it ,so I gave permission“
Michael leaned back. He smiled cheesily. Carlos chuckled and the LeBons were watching with curious interest.The burning air between the two of us was obviously notable.
Jared slid back in the floor, tilted his head again and once more we all saw his fat grin.
„You know what, Roger? I think Jar could need some company there, don^t you think?“ I let my fingers run through your hair and felt your body stiffening.
Your eyes flew to Si and Yas and back to me and you shook your head slightly while your face went all pink, almost like Jared^s ass.
„You won^t mess up with the keybordist, huh?“I tightened my grip of your hair. Just a wee bit.You gulped visibly.
„ Control is back, Roger. » I smirked
With one elegant move you slipped from the couch to kneel before me and folded your hands behind your neck, your eyes darting to the floor and your face was deep red now.
Yas moved closer to me to have a better view and Simon kept on staring.
« You know » Michael smiled « I have never seen that before »
„I have“ Carlos chuckled and he bent over for one of those hair ruffles, what made you smile.
Roger, I told you later that I didn^t know why I did this, to let you kneel there.
But the truth is, I wanted everyone in the club to see the difference between the show with Vi and your interaction with me.
I wanted them to see how deep you can sink into sub mode and what it does to you.
My fingertip traced your lips until your mouth opened slightly to let me in. Your eyes fell close when you started to suck gently on my finger.I let a second one slip in and heard Yasmin gasping beside me.
Her husband was still staring, mouth open.
The LeBons. Well, they wanted to be here. We were in an SM-Club. What we were doing was extremely harmless ,wasn^t it?
Erotic, yes, very erotic, but nothing shocking.
I couldn^t resist to go any further, so I pulled my fingers out ( you sighed by the loss) and started to unbotton your shirt. You let your arms fall down so that I could push the fabric off of your shoulders. Diana, who sat beside me, leaned over to whisper something in my ear and I nodded with a smile.She handed me a pair of nipple clamps, and I could see Carlos’s big grin out of the corner of my eyes.You panted when the cold metall chain made contact to your hot skin, but your eyes remained shut. Another gasp from Yas when I fixed the first clamp. Simon still stared, I had never seen that man so quiet for such a long time and I could hardly hold back a chuckle.
Out of a sudden impulse I handed the second clamp to Yasmin and asked „ Would you like?‘“ She gulped and her eyes widened.
„Go ahead“ Si whispered and a whispering Simon was even more unusual than a silent Simon.
With a shaking hand she tried to fix it at your nipple, but it didn^t work. « I will hurt him » she said quietly.
„You propably will. But he likes it“ I assured her.
« I don^t think I can do that » she whispered.
„ I can“ To everyone^s surprise her husband took the clamp and had it on your nipple in a split second. Then he just leaned back and fell into silence again.
„This is very inspiring“ Violet interfered „ Would you mind if I^ll bound his arms behind the back? I^m sure it would make a very nice effect“

God,Roger, how much I enjoyed it to have you in the limelight! To have everyone watching.

Vi bondaged you again and now you had to straighten your chest. The effect was magnificent. I had to grab your hair and pull you close for a kiss. The sweet sound you made when I did so was giving me shivers all over.

Diana and Jared went into one of the playrooms and shortly I was thinking about doing the same, but it wouldn^t be nice to leave the LeBons alone and I doubted that they were ready to watch any *hardcore* action.
Although they obviously were thrilled about the things going on so far.
I spent the evening chatting quietly with Michael, Carlos, the Lebons, Vi and Sonya, who joined us later. You on your knees the whole time, not speaking a word, happy in sub space.
Simon didn^t say that much either and I caught him staring at you several times.
It was far after 2 in the morning when we decided to leave.
Carlos asked me if he could remove your clamps and your scream when he did so made Yasmin gasp again and Simon finally finding his voice.
„Oh my fucking god!“ he panted.
What happened next was extremely unexpected. You were still bounded, so Si pulled you up and embraced you with the gentleness he usually had with his daughters only.“Thank you“ he whispered. „ Thank you for sharing this with us.“
Your eyes fluttered open and you leaned your head against the taller man’s chest.
„ My pleasure“ you murmured.

Later, back home,you were still in sub mode. Your eyes dreamy and fogged, your voice soft and quiet when you pressed your wonderful body against mine in bed, whispering“ Please, Nick, fuck me.Please.“
When I reached for the lube and a condom, you shook your head. „ I want you bare back. I want to feel you.Just you`“
There are no words for what I felt when I burried myself into your tight hotness. First time latex free.
First time ever.
„Hurt me“ you panted when you were close, and I knew what you wanted.We both came simultanious when I slapped your face. Hard.

Sunday morning.
Midday, rather.
Since the last weeks had been busy and we^d be off to Wales the next day, your brother with his family and the LeBon^s were there for brunch.Some family time before the time out.
You were all cuddly with everyone and our singer was still unusually quiet.
„Is everything ok with Simon?“ I asked his wife when we filled the dishwasher together.
„ Oh yeah“ she smiled, glancing over her shoulder to make sure that no one could hear us, but everyone else was in the living room.
„I guess me and the girls are not the only ones having a crush on Roger“
« Oh » I was quite surprised. « did he say that ? »
« Sort of. We have talked half the night after we were back from the velvet and he was all puzzled. You know Simon. Big mouth and all, but such a sensitive soul.He was utterly taken aback about last night.About you two. Roger, in particular.He was so touched.And it confuses him a bit, I guess.But no worries, he^s fine. It was a very intense evening. Thank you for that »She hugged me.
I was about to say something when Saff, Amber and your nieces bursted into the kitchen.
« We want chocolate, we want chocolate » they chanted
You followed right behind, the littlest LeBonling in tow.
„You know what^s better than chocolate? Chocolate cake!“ you grinned and took a giant cake out of the fridge.
« Where is that coming from ? » I wondered.
„The joy of baking when you can^t sleep“ you winked and kissed me shortly on the neck .
„You are extremely versatile,Mr Taylor“ I grinned and pulled you close for a proper kiss.
„Hey! You can snog later, we want cake!“ Saffron commanded, tugging at your shirt.
When the girls, including Lulah, had rushed back with an enormous piece of cake each, you turned to the model. « What^s the matter with your husband ? »
« He^s ok, Rog. » she said and squeezed your arm. „Really“
„If you say so..You would tell me if there^s a problem, wouldn^t you?“
„Of course sweetie. He^s fine. A bit confused, but fine. »Yas assured you.
I saw it in your face that you didn^t buy that.
We joined the others in the living room and you sat crosslegged on the carpet to play with Lulah, who was busy baking her own cake in the wooden children^s kitchen you had bought for her.
Simon watched you two with a warm smile in his face.
« That^s love, huh?“ I elbowed him.
„It was from the first moment on.Do you remember?“he chuckled.
„I sure do. She is still doing it, ruffling his hair.I have to laugh every time“

„ A man with many features, Roger.“ Si grinned.
„ One feature better than the other“I winked and we smiled at each other.
At the evening we packed for Wales while listening to Evanesence.
I had opened a bottle of whine and we cuddled on the sofa when finished with the lugagge. There was another bag to pack, but I would take care of that later.
« I almost forgot…“I reached for the letter on the table. « for you, sir. My wish list »
« Ha ! » you laughed and leaned back in my arms to read.
I watched you, amused and thrilled at the same time.Your facial expressions were priceless and your little noises inspiring as always.
« Oh »you said quietly when you looked up to meet my eyes. »Interesting.Yeah. Very interesting »
« You said you want to give me control in Wales. That^s what I think it could be like.Do you still want it?“ I pulled you close and could feel your heartbeat against my chest.
« Yes.I want »Your lips found mine
I want. You. Forever.


The alarm clock woke me up at seven the next day.
Depending on the traffic and route it would take 3-4 hours to Cardiff and we had decided to leave early.
Your side of the bed was already empty and the smell of coffee told me that you were busy in the kitchen.
„Hey, handsome husband, come back to bed“ I called.
„Not even fully awake and yet bossy“ you laughed when you entered the bedroom with a loaded tray and nothing else.
„Brilliant, breakfast in bed!“ I sat up at the headrest „ even better when served by a naked drummer!“
For some people it^s uncomfortable to be naked, to walk around in the house all nude, but not for you. You do it with such a naturalness and self-confidence as if you^d wear your beloved jeans and one of those nicely fitting tees.
But then, with a body like your’s…

« Have I told you lately that you are absolutely stunning ? » I smiled.
« So are you, precious »You placed the tray on the nightstand and crawled into the bed beside me.
« Good morning » you grinned mischievously and then your tongue flickered over my nipple.
« Uuh. This is a very good morning, I^d say » I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation. Your tongue made it’s way further downwards and I grabbed your hair to stop you.
« Wasn’t there something about having breakfast and leaving early ? » I chuckled.
„ Won^t take long“ you promised and took my whole lenght in your warm wet mouth.
„You are killing me“ I moaned, pushing into your wetness. I nearly squeaked when you took my balls in your hand to roll them ever so gently. You were right. It didn^t take long.

Not very much later we were on our way to Cardiff.
I watched your profile while you were driving and got more and more excited about this time out.
I had written this letter for you to let you know what maybe could happen in Wales.
But there was something I didn^t tell you.
I took my mobile out to type a message. I had thought about what to write for hours and my fingers were shaking slightly when I finally sent it.
If the message would be answered, I didn’t know. If the answer would be the one I was hoping for, no idea.
And what if? Would it work out at all?

I tell you, my Roger, I was nervous as hell!

Near Cardiff we stopped at a supermarket to buy some groceries and that face of yours when I put some ginger roots in the trolley made me laugh.
„Makes healthy tea“ I explained. „Can be used in curries. Very usable, ginger“
„Hmpf“ you blushed
I grinned devilishly and asked „Have you spotted Tabasco sauce yet?“

The time we arrived in front of the small idyllic cottage I had rent there were 2 incoming messages shown and I couldn^t wait to read them.
You unpacked the car while I went inside. Very cosy. Very private. Perfect.
I turned on the heating. We^ll need to have it warm in here.Then I checked the messages and let out an enthusiastic „STRIKE!!! Yes!“ The answer had to wait, I needed some time to think about it first. So I just typed * brilliant!  will give you a call later*
When I got back to the car to help you , you leaned against it, smoking a cigarrette.
„Hello there, gorgeous. May I have one, too?“ I kissed your neck. „Nice place, huh?“
„Aye.All peaceful and quiet“
„Yep. No neighbours in sight“I pointed out.
„Nope. We are in the middle of nowhere, as planned »You gave me one of those adorable *from behind lashes*-looks.
„Any doubts, my Roger?“
„Doubts? No. Nervousness ? Quite a lot. But you know me, I kind of like this feeling. Like a rollercoaster ride“ you chuckled.
„You know that you can stop the ride anytime,yeah?“
„No, Nick, I can^t. once I^m in I can^t.That^s the way I am and that^s why things went down bad with Allan. Nick…“ you cupped my face with your calloused hands, such a contrast to the well known vulnerability in your eyes that it made my heart jolt.
„Just promise me that you…that you will bring me back. That you won^t leave me there“
„Trust me, my Roger. As much as I love it to have you there, I need you as lover, partner and friend and I don^t want to miss any of it“I pulled you close for a gentle kiss. « I^m not Allan, Roger »
« I know that. But I^m still me, that^s the point.“ you leaned your head against my shoulder and we stood there, holding each other until you looked up into my eyes and said «I^m ready. Go in, precious diva, I will bring the luggage and stuff“
„Take your time“ I slowly made my way to the cottage without looking back , and when inside, I needed to take a few deep breaths to calm myself down.
Once you^d be here with me, you would be Roger, the sub. That was the plan.
What makes me Nick, the Dom for the next three days.
I heard you coming in with the bags. Then you went out again to fetch the next load. I closed my eyes and waited for the familiar adrenaline rush.
But nothing happened.
Noises from the kitchen when you stored the groceries away.
A shower running.
I got me an ashtray and looked out of the window while having a fag.
Green. Very green.
Still no rush.
We should skip that part and just cuddling up here.
Going for a walk.
Watching telly.
Makes no sense when I^m not feeling it.
Ah, shit !

„Would you like to have something for lunch, Nick?“
There you were, standing in the doorway.
Leather cuffs fixed at wrists and ankles.
Your hair still wet from the shower, your voice so calm and your eyes so soft.
And the adrenaline rushed in like a shockwave.¨

It was the distinct perception of the fact that you are so much stronger than I am, that you could overmatch me in a split second if you wanted.

But you submissivly obeyed to me instead.
Because you wanted it. Because it wasn^t a question of physical force. It was a matter of feeling.
All of a sudden I was aware of the incredible power you had given me.
And I finally understood why being yourself was sometimes scary for you.

« That would be fine, Roger, thank you.“ I smiled warmly.
Who says domination can^t be respectful and polite ?
« Now come here first, will you ? »
When you kneeled before me,i burried my fingers in your silky moist hair and made you looking up to me.
„Is it warm enough in here?“ I wanted to know.
„It is. I^m not cold that fast, though.“
„So this“ I rubbed over one stiff nipple with my thumb „ is from excitement, yes?“
„Have to be“ you said quietly and I chuckled when I ruffled your hair like Carlos used to do.
„ Some sandwich will do, my Roger, I don^t want you to disappear into the kitchen for hours. Something quick is ok“
„Whatever you want“
„Oh, what I want is you here with me, so hurry up.“ I gave that nipple a quick squeeze.
What a nice sight when you rushed off.
Dear god. Your backside. As if carved from stone.
It took you less than five minutes to be back with a tray and I wished I^d have one of those serving trays with a belt and nipple clamps attached. Would fit you so nicely.
You kneeled again and held the tray for me, keeping a steady hand, perfectly still.
That was so cliche that I had to stifle a laugh.
Nonetheless it was absolutely beautiful.
I shared the sandwich with you by feeding you a bite everytime after I had one for myself.

For some strange reason I think it^s incredibly erotic to feed you, Roger. But you may have noticed that by now.

„What about coffee and a bit of the delicious chocolate cake? I saw you have brought the leftovers. » I said when finished. « And bring something for yourself, yeah ? »

You were in the kitchen when the sound of broken porcelain could be heard and then you cursed „Oh fuckfuckfuck“
That brought back a memory.Oh yes.
*someone should spank me everytime I^m doing it*
As you wish!
„You ok?“ I called.
„I am. Some mugs aren^t. Have to clean up here, sorry.“
„Leave it like it is and come here. Now!“


„NOW, Roger!“

You appeared with a quite puzzled look and I stopped you when you wanted to drop down on your knees again.
„ No. You know, someone once told me that he should be spanked for his *fuck-mantras*. The same someone just said recently that there^s nothing better than the good old OTK to teach one some manners. So you know what to do now, huh?“

Without hesitation you lay down over my lab and I realized that this was something we had never done before.
Strange, since I used to like it a lot.
The sound of my bare hands spanking your firm butt was fantastic, more particulary as mixed with your moans and gasps and your cock twitching against my tigh.
I only stopped when your skin was all deep red and my palms were burning like hell.
Then I pulled your head back and whispered in your ear: „Now you can go cleaning up“
I started to really enjoy this once I had slipped into my role completely.
« Roger ? » I called when you were back in the kitchen again.
„ Yes, Nick?“
„Make a choice. Ginger or tabasco?“
I chuckled. « I won^t wait until tomorrow for the answer, Mister!“
„ Tabasco“ it came with a shaky voice.
« Wise choice.Bring a plug and cloves, yeah ? »
Not much later some sheep were very frightened by the howls coming out of a small cosy cottage.

About 3 hours later you asked if you could go out for a run, and I took the opportunity to make an important phone call.

« Hi there. Alone now. Roger is gone for his daily run. I hope you are still in“
The person at the other end was all excited.

The next morning, after breakfast, we went out for a walk. We met a few strollers and no one would have guessed that you wore a plug and nipple clamps.

When we passed a hazel bush I stopped you.
„ I wonder, Roger, do you have a pocket knife with you?“
„I have. Why?“
I pointed at the bush. „ Go find a nice twig, yeah?“

Don^t think that I haven^t noticed that hint of a smile , Roger!

Back at the cottage, I decided to let the bomb blow up.
„ Can you prepare a dinner for four with the things we have here?“ I asked, acting absolutely innocent.
„ Er…yeah. I think.“ Your eyes widened and you turned pink.
„Good“ I smiled. I so enjoyed your almost panic reaction. You didn’t ask, though.

It was almost six when the doorbell rang. You were busy in the kitchen and I called
„Stay in there“ before I went to open the door for the visitors.
I led them into the living room were you had set up an inviting dinner table with candles and all.

„ I^m so glad that you are here“ I said quietly. „I wasn’t sure if you really would show up“
„We weren^t , either.“ The woman chuckled.
I kissed her on the cheek.
„ Once again: it^s ok when you just want to watch. Whenever you want to participate, you are more than welcome. If it’s too much, if you feel uncomfortable with something, just go into the kitchen or the bedroom and leave us alone.There’s no obligation to do anything,ok? « I explained.
« We got that » the man said. „ Your message was quite a surprise, though. I wonder… are you doing this a lot ? «
« With *this* you mean?“ I asked.
« Having other people around. To watch. To…play with.Isn^t that what you call it? Play?“ he wanted to know.
„ Yeah, we call it play, and no, we^re not doing it a lot. We meet Sonya and Carlos regulary. Going to parties and such.That^s it.“
„Ah! I should have known. Have you told him? That it^s us?“ his wife asked.
„No.“ I smiled.
„What if he^s not ok with it?“ she worried.
„We will see. There^s no plan. I just thought it could be interesting.No pressure. I can^t say this often enough: if you are not feeling good with something, please just leave the room. No comments, no discussions.We will talk about it later, all of us. Are you ready to meet Roger, my sub?“

„Yes please yes please!“ the woman applauded.

I went into the kitchen. You sat at the table, smoking a cigarette.
I stopped you when you wanted to stub it out.
« No hurry, Roger. Take your time. » I took a bottle of champagne out of the fridge and opened it, pouring you a glass.
« Relax » I smiled, well aware of your tension.“ They are propably more nervous than you are“
You emptied your glass at once and sighed.
« Not Son and Mr Rodriguez then… »
I shook my head , filled three more glasses, put them on a tray and looked around for the bread and a small bowl of olives.
« Let me do this » you said softly and your lips touched my neck ever so gently.
I had to kiss you. Had to show you that there^s nothing to worry about, that you didn^t have to be frightened.
„I will go back in. Come with the aperitif whenever you are ready, yeah?“ I kissed you again.

When you walked in only 2 minutes later, you were hiding your surprise just perfectly.I was quite impressed. Very professional you served the drinks, woman first,
An attentive waiter. An attentive naked waiter with leather cuffs.
The LeBons, however, failed completely with playing cool.
„Oh“ Yas gasped, blushing all over.
Simon stared again, not even trying to make it less obvious.
You then dropped down to your knees beside me, between me and Yasmin.
„Is there anything else you need right now?“ you asked quietly, glancing up to me.
„Everything¨s fine. Yasmin? Simon? Any wishes ? »
« I…may I ? » Yas whispered, reaching out a hand to touch you.
« You^re welcome ! Look at her , Roger.“ You turned in one elegant circle to face the model and she let her shaking hand run over the bare skin of your chest.
Simon craned his neck to get a sight of what was going on and finally he stood up to come around the table. The tall man sat on the carpet behind you. He reached out a hand but hesitated to touch you.


I hold my breath when he found his nerves to flung his arms around you from behind and pulled you close.
„I have a wish“ he said quietly. »I want you to tell me if you are really ok with this, Roger !“
You let your head fall against his chest and answered slowly and calm
« I am.. That^s a surprise, you being here. I would not have expected that. I don^t know were it will take us,I am really taken aback, but yeah, Simon, I am ok with it“

„Good. I want to be honest with you and I don’t give a fuck if it is against any rules or something, I want to let you know why we are here.
Me and my wife are having a crush on you from the first momet on. Like all LeBons, huh ? Well, dispite Jonathan that is...Anyway, Roger, having a man crush irritated me like hell.Took me quite a while to talk with Yassie about it » He cupped Yasmin^s hand with his, the one still resting on your chest. «Then there was this picture of you on Nick^s mobile and I couldn^t get it out of my head for weeks. What was even more confusing. Later the chat with Sonya at your housewarming and finally Friday night at the Velvet. The truth is, Mister Taylor, I want to see more. More of it. More of you.I don^t know if I will have the guts to do anything more than holding you like now. I wish, but I don^t know. I want to see those clamps on you again and i want to see how you will be marked to look like in this picture. And I…I…oh god. You..I…“ he stuttered and let out his breath.
I was all touched.Speechless and touched.
You reached for the back of his head, caressed his hair and the three of you made a silent, beautiful connection, Simon still covering Yasmin^s hand, pressed to your chest.
After a few minutes you whispered : « If you folks would like to have something for dinner I have to go check the oven. As much as I don^t want to go anywhere right now »
« Oh. Of course » the singer said when he stood up and held a hand out for you.
He looked you up and down when you were standing before him and grinned.
„ My my, I haven’t been wrong about the two hands you need, huh?“

„Hell , Nick, you should have warned us. I wasn^t prepared to be welcomed by a nude drummer, woah!“ Simon said when you had left the room and he plopped on his chair again.
« Ah, come on, Simon John Charles LeBon ! As if that would be such a terrible sight ! » Yas laughed.
« I¨m not used to find men attractive, you know…it still confuses my to no end , really“
„You don^t find men attractive. It^s Roger“ she smiled, patting his arm.
„Ah. And Roger isn^t a man or what? I just have stared at his penis for a whole minute, for fuck^s sake!“ he sounded so distressed that we had to laugh.

The first course was yet again served by a very professional waiter, including the elegant presentation of the wine you poured me for tasting.
You were in your element. Gastronomy and submission, what a perfect match.
Your attention to details, the delicious food with the perfectly balanced wine.
For the first time I realized what Sonya must have seen in you when you first met.
For the first time I asked myself if running your own restaurant would have been your real destiny.
A sudden fear rushed into me. The fear of losing you once you would decide to go for this destiny and leaving the drumming behind. Leaving Duran. Leaving me.
With the money we had earned so far, with the benefits of being a famous rockstar it won^t be a problem for you to find a suitable location now.

I have no idea were that was coming from,Roger, but it scared me to hell.

I grabbed you wrist when you passed my chair and pulled you down for one very passionate kiss.
„Thank you Roger.“ I gasped breathless when I broke the kiss.
„Oh, you^re welcome¨“ you smiled, slightly puzzled, and let your hand run through my hair.
You rushed off again to take care of the next course and I turned to Simon:“So…you want to see how he gets marked?Really?“
„Odd, huh? But yeah. I want to see that.I think, at least“ he took a fork full of the vegetarian lasagne. „ This is yummy, by the way“
I nearly spluttered from laughing when I took a bite myself and noticed the distinctive taste of ginger.Just a hint, but quite notable.
« Smart ass » I chuckled.
« Huh ? » Yasmin asked
„Oh, Roger plays funny games here, I^ll explain later. If I’m right, we will have something with tabasco sauce next“

You entered the room so quietly that we didn‘t notice you until you cleared your throat.
„Yes, Roger?“ I asked, still smiling at your little treat with the ginger.
„Just wanted to know, Simon and Yasmin…vegetarian or red meat?“
„We are carnivores, Rog, not like Mr Rhodes here. Meat please, if you don^t mind ! » Yas grinned.
« As you wish. I¨ll bring a different wine then. Anything else I can do for you?“
Simon leaned over to me and whispered in my ear „ I want to see those clamps on him, yeah?“
« Roger, would you please bring the bag with the wine ? » I said, politely all over.
„Of course, Nick“ you nodded slightly and went for the requested,
When you opened the bottle your professionial attitude was fading as your hands were shaking just a wee bit.
You poured Simon some wine for tasting and you were ever so excited about the things to come.
After you had taken care of the drinks for the LeBons, you placed our quite filled *Equipment bag* beside my chair.
„Give it to Simon.“ I commanded and as soon as you did so, the singer literally dived in.
„Look for the boxes, smaller stuff is in there“ I chuckled at his enthusiasm.
Meanwhile you stood behind his chair and tried to keep a cool face, but your heavy breathing blurted out the truth.
„ have several of those…dang, what is that…uh..interesting…“ Si muttered.
Yas and me had to stifle a laugh.
He finally came up with some clamps. Not the ones with the chain. Two single ones with small weights attached.
„May I?“ Charley asked and when I nodded he turned to you and fixed the first one, then tipped slightly against the dangling weight, what made you quiver,
„Yassie, would you like?“ he handed the second one to his wife.
„I ..errr..“ she blushed as you came to her, standing still beside her chair,waiting.
Her hands were shaking, and you covered them with one hand. „ Let me help you, Yasmin“ you said quietly.
« I can feel your heart beating » the model whispered « quite fast »
„Because I quite like that“ you whispered back and the two of you shared a nervous little smile.
Together you managed to fix the clamp and you disappeared again.
Simon had his head in the bag as soon as you were gone.
„Do I want to know what you need the cloves for? Nah… And what the hell is THAT?“
„Oh, you don’t want to know that, not while having dinner“ I chuckled.
„It^s for…cleaning. You can fix it at the shower hose“ Yasmin explained.
« Wha..oh. OK. Got that. And I won^t ask you why YOU know what it is, Yassie“ Si grinned. „ So, that means that our dear Roger is always prepared, hm?“
„You can say so, yes“ I grinned back.

You came in just to see how Simon was holding the * special shower head*, still grinning all over and that was what made you finally turning deep red.
With a mischievous smile the singer let it fall into the bag again,
„Ah. Meat. Good. Roger, dear, I wonder…what about you? Since you are not eating with us, aren’t you hungry?“
„ I had something before you arrived, thank you. I^m here to serve you today“
„And you are doing a very good job so far!“ Yasmin smiled at you.
„All done now, Roger? Dessert ready and all, no more things to do in the kitchen?‘“ I asked when you had served the main course and poured us some more wine.
„Everything^s taken care of“ you assured.
« Fine. Would you bring the hazel twig you have chosen so wisely then? It^s in the hallway, beside the umbrella“ I leaned back with crossed arms and tried to appear as coldly as I could. „ginger and tabasco sauce, yeah?“ pointing at the sauce bottle on the table I raised my brows. « you are so funny, aren^t you ? »
I saw your almost stifled grin, Roger ! I saw it! Time to teach you a lesson.

When you came back with what I wanted I clicked the cuffs together behind your back and let you stand at one end of the table.
« I want you to stay perfectly still until we have finished the meal here. And in the meantime you will explain what it is about ginger and tabasco, yeah? Let’s see if our guests will find it as funny as you do“
« I..I can^t » you stuttered. „ I …no, I can^t“…
„You can^t? You can make fun about it but you can^t tell them ? Nevermind. I will.
See, Yasmin, Simon, Roger here has a very special relationship with ginger roots when carved into a nice buttplug. Or tabasco sauce, therefore the gloves are needed, by the way.And for some strange reason the witty little drummer finds it funny to prepare our dinner with such ingredients. I wonder what^s in the dessert, though“

Simon tilted his head back and laughed hysterically.
„I know…I know..“ he panted between laughters. „It^s whipped cream!“
It took me a lot of self-control to stay cool when I turned to you and said: „Well, I hope it has some hazelnuts, too, since you will have an intense meeting with an hazel twig in a few“

We finished our meal in silence and again I caught Si staring at you every once in a while.
You looked like a statue,eyes fixed at some spot on the carpet, not moving a single bit.
After the last bite I uncuffed you that you could clear the table.
« Dessert, coffee ? » you asked nervously when coming back from the kitchen.
« Later.Now you will lie down on the table » I commanded and picked up the twig.
« Yasmin,give me one of the pillows from the sofa, please.Thank you. You two should grab your chairs and sit at the table^s end, so that you can see his face, that you can see how much the little drummer boy enjoys this. Look at them, Roger. All the time ! »
I placed the pillow under your hips and your ass came up very nicely,
« Isn’t that even better than a billard table, Yas ? »
„Hell, yes! And it looks better than cladded in jeans, just how I have thought !“ she smiled and let her fingers run through your hair.
Simon did what he always did lately : staring at you.He nearly jumped when the twig made his first fine line across your buttocks without warning, full force. You hissed and let your forehead fall down on your crossed arms when Mr Lebon utterly surprised me.
« Hey, drummer boy ! Nick has told you to look at us. All the time“ and he grabbed your hair and pulled your head up, his intense blue eyes fixing at your^s.His other hand reached for Yasmin^s as he growled with a dark, sinister voice which didn^t sound like him at all; „Show me how much you like it“
You got up on your elbows, since the clamps were quite uncomfortable when you lie on them, and Simon found himself something to do. He was tugging and pulling at the dangling weights, perfecty using the pauses between my strokes and soon we had you moaning and panting.You had no time to recover from the various sensations your quivering body was been treaten with, no time to adjust.
„Fucking hell, you really do like that, don^t you?“ the singer was all fascinated.
„I do..god…yes…oh yes..oooh god. Oh please…please“
I stopped the beating and let my hand wander over your hot flesh.
„Don`t you dare, Roger! Don^t you dare`We are not through with you yet, nowhere near ! Pull yourself together ! » I spanked you with the the bare hand now, knowing that the twig would be too intense as you were so close already.
Yasmin^s turn to surprise me when she coyly asked; „Can I try this ? I stepped back and gestured her to take my place.She took a deep breath and with a strength I would never have given her credit for she hit.Once. Twice., 3 times before she blew her palm. «That¨s propably more painful for me than for him » she let her fingers trail along the fine lines from the twig instead. « Simon . Come here and look at that ! »

All three of us had our hands on you finally, stroking you gently. Six hands all over your sweaty body, Your back, your ass, your thighs, everywhere., while we were smiling at each other and you purred like one big happy cat.Your skin hot and over-sensitive, the slightest touch made you quiver.
« That feels good. So good » you sighed. Yas kissed your neck and whispered in your ear „You are beautiful., do you know that? I want to see more. Much more!“

You lifted your head and tried to fix her with your bedroom eyes.
„There won^t be much more to come if you don^t give me a break, uh?“ you slurred.
The model turned to me and said « I^ll go making us some coffee, ok ? I really don^t want to end this anytime soon »
„Me neither“ you murmured „I^ll go for the coffee, just give me a minute“
« Nah. You stay here, just as you are » Yas kissed you again before she left. Simon still had his hand on your back and I sat on one of the chairs at the table^s end to look into your face.
« Hey » I smiled. Your eyes were still not focused yet and you blinked a few times
„Hey yourself“
„How are you doing?“cupping your cheeks with both hands I locked my eyes with your^s .
„Uh..I dunno.Dizzy.Extremely horny.Flying high“
Our singer sat on the chair beside me and put an arm around my shoulder while he leaned forward to tug at one of those weights again. „You are looking a little spaced out“ he smiled at you.
„Mmmhmmh.Could…can you…ah. » you inhaled deeply « Would you please remove them ?All numb »
« Just a minute more, let^s wait for Yassie, ok ? » he said softly.
« Mmmkay »your eyes fell close and you concentrated on your breathing.
« This is amazing » Si beamed. « I would never have guessed ...well, it^s amazing.“ He pulled me close. „Thank you“ the man whispered.
Your head came up and with eyes still closed and you gasped . „Yeah. Thank you. Where^s Yas?“
„Here“ it came from the doorway. Since the table was somehow otherwise occupied, she placed the tray carefully on the floor near us before she was by your side and pressed one hand on the small of your back.“ Still so hot“ she grinned.
„Clamps..“ you panted „pretty sure nipples will fall off any moment“
„That would be such a horrible loss“ I chuckled „Ready , Simon? To three…one…two…THREE!“ Each one of us removed one of the clamps, exactly the same moment.

„Gaaaaaaaawd“ you yelled and Yas gasped ; „Oh Jesus¨“
„It^s ..ok…it^s good…I like. Really.“ Even while you struggled with the immense pain you wanted to assure her that she didn’t have to worry about you.
„I ..don^t know why am am like that, but I^s..“you stuttered, searching for words.
„Ssssssh, I understand. I understand“ she murmured, caressing your back to comfort you.
Simon went for the coffee mugs and I helped you to sit up.All shaky you slipped from the table on the carpet, on all fours.
„Come up, sit down on a chair, Roger. Time out. »I held out a hand.
« Can^t…I can^t .. too deep »
« My Roger » I said quietly and sat on the floor behind you like Simon did before. I pulled you close until you were in my lab and cradled you in my arms.
The LeBons joined us there on the carpet and we sat in silence, sipping our coffee.
Once more I got lost in your eyes.

Looking at you while you are in this state is number two of the top ten list, and I was sure i^d see my fav later today. Several times, hopefully.

Out of the corner of my eyes i saw the LeBons smiling at each other and holding hands.
This worked out better than I had thought.

Again I was surprised about how well we seemed to match with *mixed couples*.
Having Yasmin around was something very special.
I knew Simon would not have done this without her by his side, but her being here seemed to be much more than just comforting her husband.Not only is she incredibly beautiful, she^s one wonderful soul also. She likes you so much and you two are somehow connected.
And Simon ? My dear friend Simon?
Who was staring at you, his blue eyes darkened with something that was with no doubt nothing else than lust. Desire.
Would he find the nerve to do more?

„I think I could have some dessert now“ the man I just had thought about said and you snapped back into *attentive waiter mode*, slowly sliding from my lab.
„ Some more coffee with that?“ you asked when you were on your feet again
„Nah. Some more Roger with that¨“ he grinned and touched your ankle, right above the cuff.

You murmured something and went back into the kitchen.

Si turned to me and explained, all excited: „you know, can we have him on the table again, kneeling, those handcuffs fixed at the ones on the ankles? What you did in the club, when he was sucking your fingers…that was …er…I liked it. And I thought we could…feed him like that? What do you think?“

I had to lean over to kiss his cheek shortly. „Simon, I`d love that. »
« Duh ! There is a reason why we are friends for so long now, Nicholas ! Great minds think alike!“ he pulled me close and kissed me back.

You came in with the desserts and I raised my brows when I noticed that it has hazelnuts in it, just like I had thought. You winked at me and the corners of your mouth twitched when you tried to stifle a grin.

„Simon, Roger is still silly, thinking it^s all fun. We have to do something about that, hm?“I smirked.

„My my, drummer boy, you are on dangerous grounds here.“ Si shook his head in amusement when he took the tray from you. „On the table with you again,Mister Taylor!“
Yasmin was beaming when she fixed the cuffs like Si had suggested and we sat around the table.
„Come here“ I started and you had to slide on your knees until you were directly in front of me.
I dipped two fingers into the creamy mass and tipped at your lips.Your mouth opened imediately and they were encircled by your warm wetness.You sucked and licked, never loosing eye contact and I heard Simon^s heavy breathing beside me before one of his fingers joined mine.
That was extremely erotic and utterly sexual. Your reaction was very obvious. You had two men fucking your mouth, let^s face it.
Finally your eyes fell shut and you concentrated on the intrusion.
Yas was a little left out here,so she decided to find herself something to do.
Climbing on the table behind you that was, and she placed her hand at your inner tighs, forcing you to spread your legs.Now you were all exposed.
„My husband seems to like looking at your cock, you know?“ she whispered in your ear, loud enough for us two to be heard.
Simon, wo hadn^t noticed your massive hard –on before because he had been busy with your mouth, gasped „ What the fuck Yass…oh good god!“

She kept on talking to you, a wicked smile in her angel like face.
„You may do not know that, Roger, but half of hetero porn is actually lesbian porn because hetero men like to watch woman together. Wanna guess what hetero woman would like to watch, hm?“
„Yasmin!“ Si hissed and turned all pink.
„We are honest here, aren^t we? You should tell Nick what you have told me after the Velvet experience, Charley. Don^t play all shy now!“ the model grinned.
„Not ready for that, honey. Sorry.“ He rose from the chair to bend over to his wife and kissed her. I leaned back and watched when he then came close to your face with his. „Wish I would be, though. Wish I would be.“
Your eyes fluttered open and you fixed at the singer with your fogged lustful gaze.
You two were looking at each other in silence for what seemed to be an eternity.
„Yas“ you finally whispered, not breaking eye contact with Simon. » Yas, would you uncuff me for a second, please ? »
She gave me a questioning look and when I nodded, she clicked the karabiners open which were holding your wrists tied to the ankle cuffs.
„Simon“ you said softly when you reached for the back of his neck.
Yasmin and I held our breath when your lips met .A warm, tender kiss, nothing wild and passionate.
„Don^t be afraid , Simon“ you said quietly and the taller man leaned his head against your chest .
« I…it^s just…it confuses me so much » he murmured.
Holding him close, you looked at me over his shoulder, wordlessly asking for help.
I went around the table, holding out a hand for Yasmin when I supported her to get off the table and led her behind her husband. She understood and flung her arms around his waist. Your arms still around his shoulders you two were holding him now and I took Yassie^s place on the table, holding you.
When Yas started to unbottom Charley`s shirt, I fixed your wrists at the ankles again and let my hand wandering over your chest, then stomach and downwards.
You and Si were still locked to each other^s eyes, and Yasmin mirrored my moves when she had his shirt taken off and his pants down.
Simultaneous Yas and I took good care of those rock hard cocks, mischiviously grinning at each other over our men^s shoulders while seablue eyes were darting into mahogany ones. „ Ah, fuck“ Simon blurted and he grabbed your hair with his large hands, pulling you close.
There was nothing warm and tender in this kiss now, it was all about unbearable lust.
„Oh god…oh god…oh god!“ he moaned into your mouth.“Come with me, drummer boy. I^m close…so close.“
You let go when I bit my fav part of your neck. Simon was almost as loud as you when the two of you spilled your loads.
I uncuffed you again and a panting drummer flung his arms around a breathless singer, first one held by an all happy keyboard player, last one by a beaming supermodel.
Leaving you alone, Yassie and I went into the bathroom together to get some washclothes and towels.
„You ok?“ I smiled .
„Uh…yes, I^m pretty fine. Is it over now ? » she winked.
„ Nah. Just let them recover“ I winked back. „What was it Simon has told you after the Velvet? I^m dying from curiousity here!“
„He should tell you. I^m sure he doesn^t want me to spill the word.“ She grinned. „ All I can tell you is that I^d absolutely love that!“
„Ah, thanks. Even more curious now“ I sighed.
When we went back you and Simon sat on the carpet, smoking, and we stopped at the doorway to look at you.
« Nice »

That quote of Yas made into a song later, as many things which are very intimate and private, and we used to beam at each other on stage when those certain lyrics were coming up.

We cleaned you up, Simon got into his pants again and you went into the kitchen once more to get some champagne.
« Suits the occasion, I thought » you smiled. « Will you stay here over night, by the way ? I guess driving is not an option any more“
Simon reached for your hand.
„Do you feel bad with us around now?“ he worried.
„ No, Charly, I^m feeling pretty good with you around. Just wanted to know if I should arrange the second bedroom for you“
„That would be terrific, Rog! Even if sleeping is not what I have in mind now“ the singer grinned.
„Good“ you winked.
„Good? Why so, drummer boy?“ Si squeezed your biceps.
„Because I^m eager to find out what you have told your wife after the Velvet“ At least you had the scrap of decency to blush but I smirked and grabbed your hair yet once more.
„ Ah, is that so, Roger? All greedy again aren^t you?“
„Curious, rather.“ You said, matter of factly.
« So am I » I admitted and we both were looking at Simon.
„Errr…“ he blushed.
„Come on!“ Yassie elbowed him. « Out with it` »
He lit another cigarette and inhaled deeply. „I^d rather tell this in private. Nick, kitchen?“

It took him quite a while to come clean. I would never have expected what he finally blurted out.
„Oh“ I just said, not quite sure what to think of it.
„ I propably won^t have the courage anyway, even if you..and if he…would be ok with that“ he said quietly. „ But you wanted to know, so this is it.“
„Oh“ again, as I was completely taken aback. „Simon, I don^t know… »
« Yeah, I understand. I^m sorry.That was way too much, I guess. I^m sorry. Don^t tell him…god…I feel.. I ..“ he was all ashamed.
„Hey“ I smiled, placing a hand on his arm. „ Nothing to be sorry for. Thank you for your honesty. I will be honest too here, ok? It^s something I have never thought of, at least not with you, Simon. Generally it^s not something absolutely impossible, but…“
„With Carlos? Have you thought about it with Carlos?“ he interupted
„Simon, see, I^m not a fan of planned scenarios, it’s always better to go with the flow, because such things can’t be planned at all. I think what ever happens, happens. If it fits, everything can work. I just have no clue if it fits, neither with you nor with Carlos.I simply don^t know“
„Now what?“ he asked, a little helpless and still obviously ashamed.
„Now, my very dear friend Simon, we will take advantage of the fact that we are here in the kitchen. I^m wondering if there^s some ginger left“ I smirked and Charly laughed in relief.
It turned out that the frontman was a very talented carver.
Despite the fact that I don^t make plans we were talking about how to start and decided to catch you off guard.
A few toggle switches would be switched to catapult you deeper into sub space again as fast as possible.

When we returned into the living room, Yassie and you were still sitting on the carpet, both of you crosslegged and relaxed, giggling like teenagers.
« You are having fun here, hm ? » I grinned, all nice and easy
„Quite a lot, yeah.“ you chuckled and I had to swallow down the upcoming *pink jellybean mode*, as you were so fucking cute with your boyish smile and the teenage behavior.
But then, you were still naked and cuffed, and being in sub mode all the time here was your own wish, right?
I sat down behind you to pull you in my arms again and nibbled at your neck .You reacted so sweet that I felt a bit bad about that this was only a smoke screen so that you didn^t realize that Simon went to the bag to get a few things we would need.
When the singer joined us, he placed the stuff behind his back. You were still absolutely clueless, your eyes closed and your head leaned against my shoulder.
Yas had noticed, but she didn^t say anything.

It was early morning when we finally went to bed and you were so exhausted that I needed Simon^s help to bring you into the bedroom.
What Simon had told me in the kitchen, it didn^t happen. But once it was outspoken, it stucked in my head.
And a while later…but that^s another story.

Chapter Text

We had made a plan for the next day…the same, rather, since Yas ans Si had not forgotten about your fear that they would take the girls away from you.
I had to wake you up at 11.
„Good morning, handsome“ I smiled when your eyes fluttered open. „Coffee?“
„Some more sleep“ you murmured.
« You should get up, luv, we^ll have guests in an hour“.
As if stung by an adder you came up, pure panic in your eyes. „ Nick…! I…I don^t think I can handle any more guests!“
With a laugh I took you in my arms. „Roger, i^m not trying to kill you, ok? Yasmin^s parents will come over with the girls. The LeBons and I had thought that something very * normal* is needed now.“
You fell back in the pillows and took me with you , giving me a Saffron-like eye roll. „Yeeez, precious diva, you will kill me someday, you definatly will ! I^m not 20 any more, you know`“
„Oh, you did pretty well for an old man, I^d say.“ My tongue slid over various love bites on your neck, quite a few of them produced by Mr leBon.
« Uh. Wait until I get up, I don^t think I can walk properly today. 5 more minutes, `key? Then I will make something for brunch for the masses“
„You don^t have to, it^s all taken care of. The LeBons went to Cardiff this morning for groceries and we all have been busy in the kitchen the last hour“ I kissed you, all gently. „ How are you?“
„ I dunno, to be honest. Have to digest a few things here first. I mean, Yas and Simon…geez. How are they?“
„Oh, Simon is all hyper, Yassie can^t get the grin out of her face, so I guess they are fine. Don^t worry about them, Roger. You are always doing that, thinking about others first. So, again, how are YOU?“ I locked my eyes with yours and you smiled the sweetest smile ever.
„Again, Nick, I don^t know. I^m not back to normal yet. Feeling all soft and weak and sore, but hey, I^m one sick pervert and I kinda like that !“Your lips on mine, your hands in my hair, and I knew everything was OK.

„Ah, there you are!“ Simon beamed when you finally appeared in the kitchen and he didn^t hesitate to embrace you warmly, planting a kiss on your forehead.
Yasmin smiled all over and hugged you two from behind . „Good morning, sweetie. Have you slept well?“
„ Like a log, thanks. And you?“
„ Not that much“ Si admitted. « Quite a lot of things been floating in my mind »
„Good things, hopefully?“ you worried.
„Definately yes.Confusing, but good.“ he smiled.
« Same here.Will take me a while to be sorted again. Anyway, you two are fucking amazing. You really are.Thank you for a very intense experience. »
« Again at any time » Simon grinned.
Yas and you set the table, giggling like teens again, and I turned to our singer. « Again at any time ,hm ? »
« Well...there^s still something in my mind, you know »
„ Yeah, Si, I know and I won^t be able to get that out of my head“
„ Me neither. So…again at any time.“ he grinned.
„At any case!“ we smiled at each other in understanding.

The Parvanehs, Yasmin^s parents, are wonderful people. Iradj, her father, had always fought for gay rights in his home country, since one of his brothers is gay and went to hell and back because of that.
He was so happy for me that I finally had found love and he has liked you from the first moment on. Well, who not?
Her mom, Patricia,had kind of adopted me when Yas and Si came together and she used to call me *the son I always wanted*.
She was the one insisting that I^d be the godfather of Amber and Saffron.
Tallulah was by your side in a split second when they arrived. Like always.
« Roger, darling, I should be jealous ! I^m her granny and as soon as you are around, she doesn^t care ! » Pat laughed when she embraced you.
« It’s his ladykiller charme, you know » Yas smiled and I noticed that Amber turned slightly pink.
« How are things going with Daniel ? » I asked her when we were in the kitchen together to refill a few plates with some cold cuts.

Funny thing that Amber and you both wore scarfes decoratively draped around your necks.
„Er…good“ she blushed, adjusting that scarf.
„Are you developing a cold, poor thing?“ I grinned.
« Yeah. Like your boyfriend , I assume. »
« Touche` , smart ass ! So…any further steps planned, my dear ? » I knew she won^t talk about that with her parents, so I offered an ear to listen.
„Not sure. I dunno. He wants, though, but…I^m not ready for it, I think.I… » Amber stopped when you came in and her face turned deep red.
« Oh, sorry ! Have I interupted something here ? Just need more coffee, will leave you alone in a second“ you apologized.
« Nah, it^s ok, I was just telling Nick that…Danny wants… »
„Whatever Danny wants, Amb, be sure that you want it too, ok? Nice scarf, by the way“ you winked and the girl giggled: „Yeah, yours suits you well, either!“
„Honestly, Amber, Roger is right, don^t do things you are not ready for ! » I took her hand.
„But… how will I know? I love him and he loves me, and kissing and all is…er…nice…and I know he^d be careful and such..but…darn, this is confusing. I wanted to ask you…er…hm…do you have condoms? Just in case…“
We changed an amused look and I said „Well, Amber, we have, but you should get your own ones. If you are not ready to buy them, then you are definatly not ready to use them. I^d say“
„Aaaw, Nick, don^t play psychoanalyst here, I don^t need that! I just want your help, yeah?“ Her eye roll came close to her sister^s.
„Duh, Amb, thanks for your trust and you can have some if you want, no problem, but perhaps the ones we are using are not the right ones for you“ I chuckled.
„Come on, dearest godfather, are you trying to tell me that you have extra extra large ones or what?“ she blurted.
I had to laugh so hard that I wasn^t able to answer, so you did: „What your dearest godfather is trying to tell you is, that ours are a tad thicker than the *normal* ones and that you maybe should go for something ultrasensitive“
« Oh..ok. Er…ok. Oh.. » Again, she turned all red „Now I’m embarrassed…duh.“ She grabbed a loaded plate and stormed out.
„Too much information“ you chuckled when you pulled me close.
„Propably, yeah. I thought we don^t need condoms any more, anyway..“ I grinned and burried my nose you know where.
« Well, if you would stop to spice me up with ginger or tabasco or whatever else, that would work. Otherwise it burns like hell, I tell you »


A few days later we invited the LeBons for dinner to have some kind of follow-up discussion about Wales. The two of us used to have such talks after intense sessions and we thought that Yas and Si could need that, too.
We had just settled at the table when your mobile played *save a prayer*
„It^s Carlos, gimme a few“ you said after you^d checked the display and with a « Hi there, Mister Rodriguez » you left the room.
« Carlos, huh ? » Simon muttered.
« What is that, Charly, are you jealous or something ? » I asked, quite amused.
« Naaaah..just…you have visitors now, haven^t you ! »
« Tahaahaa » Yas chuckled « You ARE jealous ! »
« Pffft ! » Si grabbed his beer and refused to say anything more. His wife and I grinned at each other and we both could hardly stifle a laugh.
Took you a while to be back, and you looked quite amused also.
„Sorry, that was sort of an emergency call“ you giggled and as if you would have known you let your fingers trail through Simon^s hair when you passed him.
„Ah.“ he beamed „What was it about?“
„Sonya bought a strap-on and he is freaking out“ you explained.
« She bought what ? » Yassie asked.
„A Dildo which can be strapped on. Poor Carlos will be deflowered soon, haha ! » you couldn^t stop giggling about that.
„Well well, I doubt that. I really can’t imagine …no. Not Carlos » I grinned.
« Duh, Nick, there have been a lot of things I would never ever had thought Carlos would do. And don’t underestimate Son. She always gets what she wants.You know..“
„ What things?“ Simon interupted.
„Huh?“ you asked, slightly puzzled.
„What things has he done you never thought he would?“

Uh-oh, he really was jealous!

„Let^s say he is not quite the homophobic macho I thought he would be“ you winked.“But then.. there have been more surprises recently from people I used to know, hm?“

Smart, you. Smooth transition.

„Indeed“ Charly smiled, all calmed.
His temper is strenuous sometimes, as he switches between moods quite a lot.

„So.. a toast on a stable table“ you raised your glass and we all chuckled.
« Stable tables are quite useful ! Yeah,on the stable table ! » Yassie cheered.

« How are you, drummer boy ? Any complains?“ Si wanted to know, visibly nervous.
« Complains ? Not at all, Si ! I am still quite amazed, I have to say. I thought I’d have some strange halluzination when I came into the living room first“
„ Tell me about, Rog! I almost fell from the chair when you appeared!“
„Oh. Was it such a bad sight?“ Simon recieved one of your fab *from behind lashes*-looks .
„ Don^t do that, Roger Andrew! You don^t have to play fishing for compliments here, huh? You know quite well that you are one handsome man!“ Simon said.
„ Thanks, Mr.LeBon. The point is, yeah, I am a man. What seems to confuse you a lot.“
« Dang, Taylor, you are pretty direct, aren^t you ? » the singer chuckled. He took a sip of his beer and sighed.
« Ok, I`ll try to be honest and direct also…As I have told you, I have a crush on you, yeah. And I never had a man crush before. So yeah, it confuses me, still. And I^m sorry that I was such a mess, I^m sorry that I didn^t dare to touch you…well,certain body parts of you, at least…“
« You have touched me quite a lot, Simon John Charles LeBon, in many ways » you smiled warmy, reaching for his hand.
« You know what I mean, Roger, don^t you ? » the tall confident man blushed yet again.
« I assure you, Simon, that every certain body part of me is still in it^s place and won^t fall off , so maybe next time ? By the way, I haven^t touched certain body parts of your^s either. So what ? »
« Roger…did you…have you touched Carlos ? » he asked quietly.
« What is it about Carlos, Si ? Yeah, Simon, pretty direct and honest , I have. I have touched him and he has touched me. I even gave him a blow job. But Carlos, Simon, Carlos has made perfectly clear that he wanted exactly that. You haven’t. And I won^t do anything when I can^t be sure that it^s really wanted. So make up your mind about what you want, Si. And now please excuse me, I^ll go for the meal, yeah ? »
« Uh. He totally douched me, I^d say » Simon grinned when you were gone.
« Yeah, he did. You earned it.Jesus, Simon ! » Yasmin said.
« See, that^s why it^s important to talk things over. I will help Roger with the food, be right back » I thought Si could need some time to sort himself out and I wanted to talk to you in private.

You arranged the meals on the plates when I came in, murmuring something to yourself.
« Don^t be so harsh with the poor man, Roger“ I winked.
„Harsh? Nick, he is driving me nuts, really. So confident and strong on one hand, and on the other…“
„ It’s you, don^t you know that, my Roger?“ My nose found it’s fav place.
« What do you mean, it^s me ? » You reached for the back of my head .
„Your talent to confuse people, your charme. It happened with me, it happened with Carlos and now it^s the the recently not so big-mouthed Simon“ I kissed the still visible bite marks on your neck.
« Oh yeah,I^m such a vamp, uh ? » you chuckled.
« Give him some time.He has to come to terms first .I^m sure it^s not easy when you have thought of yourself as totally straight and there is a little drummer boy who messed it all up »
« Whoever came up with this *drummer boy* should be spanked » you laughed.
„ It was me. Don^t you dare!“
„Ah. As if I would“ you gave me a playful slap. » Let^s serve the meal before it^s all cold“

„That was delicious“ Yasmin rubbed her stomach when she was finished with the dessert…the same one as in Wales, by the way.

„Thanks. Good memories with this one“ you winked. „kinda strange to eat it with a spoon, though“
„Oh, you should have say something, Roger, we would have been happy to feed you again“ I smiled.
„It^s quite a fetish of your^s, Nick, huh ? » you grinned.
« You bet, my Roger ! »

« This is so sweet , this * my Roger*thing ! I like that“ Yassie said.“Oh, I have a question, Roger. Remember the talk with Sonya at your housewarming ? You were so upset about that collar thing …and when we were at the Velvet, you have been so easy with Diana and Jared, although they were so cliche. Why is that ? »
« Hm. Good question. I have seen Diana as Darren, the other way around. Leashed and all. You know, it^s not the collar itself what annoys me. It^s the meaning of it. Or what I think what it means.“ You glanced at me. „To know that they switch takes the seriousness away a bit, I guess.“

And it was as though a blindfold was stripped from my eyes.

All of a sudden I knew where your *collar phobia* was coming from.
Dear god, I was so slow on the uptake!

We were quite drunk when we went to bed later, but I had to know.
„Roger“ I whispered in your ear „ Allan made you wear a collar, right?“
„ Yes. 24/7. And I was nothing more than a golden retriever“ you slurred. „I will only say it once, Nick, and just because I had a lot of alcohol… I liked it“
„I know, my Roger. I know“

The next Saturday someone kept ringing the doorbell at seven in the morning.
We tried to ignore that quite a while, but finally you got up
«Fuck ! That^s better something VERY important » Grabbing a bathrobe you went to the door.
You didn^t came back, so I was wondering who would wake us up that early.
You were still in the hallway, a sobbing Amber in your arms.
„Boys are stupid idiots! Sex is stupid! I…Oh god ! » she cried.

« Amber, calm down. Calm down, sweetie. » you held her close and I could see deep concern in your eyes. « What happened, Amber ? What has he done ? »
« It was..we…it hurt…and ..I. I wish we wouldn^t…“
„Amber…has he done something against your will?“ you whispered.
„No! He^d never do that! But it was…it was a desaster! It hurt and it was over in a minute and I…“
You sighed in relief when you realized that it was not about sexual harrasment.
„Let me tell you something, dear, ok? First times are highly overrated. Poor Daniel is probaply as shocked as you are and I bet he^s all ashamed that he…that he couldn^t hold back and that he has hurt you. I^m sorry, Amb, that it wasn^t the way you wanted it to be, but believe me, next time it will be better, ok?“

„There will be no next time!“ she blurted.
„Let^s sit down and talk, yeah ? If you want to. Or would you like to talk with your godfather, rather?“

„ No. I want to talk to you.I think…I think…well…your first time, has it hurt?“ she turned all pink.
„ Uh, yeah, it has. And it was over in 30 seconds. So, at least, it hasn^t hurt very long, huh?“

„So I think you know better what I^m talking about than Nick does, see?“

All quiet I went back into the bedroom, knowing Amber in good hands.

Almost two hours later you brought coffee and rejoined me in bed.
„Ack! So glad I^m not 15 any more! Thanks for leaving us alone, I saw you in the hallway“
„How is she now?“ I asked.
„Confused and frustrated, still. But she has called Danny before she left, I think the two will talk it over“

I don’t know if you ever have realized how much courage Amber had to work up to come to you this morning. Knowing that you would listen and understand, but still having this crush.
She texted me later that day:
*Sorry for waking you up, dearest godfather. (saw you) I love you and all and I knowI can talk to you about boys n stuff, but I wanted to be in his arms. For once, har har. Just kidding. I am with Danny now. Feeling good. All ok smooch*

During the next days we were pretty busy with band business again.
Studio, interviews, more studio, more interviews.
You drummed until your hands bleed, and Simon violently dragged you away from your kit when he noticed.

„Time out“ he yelled. „ Some antiseptics and dressing materials are needed here!“
„Don^t make such a fuss, Charly, I^m ok. » you assured.
« You are not ! you are bleeding. And we have to take care of that. You could have said something, you know? I^m sure it hurts like hell“
« No pain, no gain.“ you winked. « Just open blisters, man, nothing serious. I can handle this, yeah?“
„Let me see, Roger“ I took your hands in mine and gasped in shock. Definetly not * just open blisters* here!
„I^ll go for the first aid box“ Andy said.
We decided to take a break and everybody went home after Simon had dressed your hands.
We all needed it, I guess and your hands were a good excuse for everyone.

„I have to talk to you, Nick“ you came over to the armchair I was sitting in and dropped to your knees.
Slightly alarmed by your tone I let a hand run through your hair. « You don^t have to kneel when you want to talk to me. »

« I want to. It relaxes me, sort of. Nick, do you remember the plan to open up a restaurant with Sonya ? »

It was as if an icy hand would grab my heart. „Sure“ I just said and my voice sounded strange in my own ears.

„I feel bad for Son, because it was my fault that it never worked out. And there is something in my mind for quite a while…“

You^d quit! You^d leave the band!
I couldn^t breathe any more.

« Roger, no, please…don^t…I know, it’s been hard for you the last days , but please, don^t .. »

« What the hell are you talking about ? » you looked totally puzzled. « I want your opinion on something here ! I want to buy a Restaurant for Sonya, I think I owe her that. And now that money is not a problem any more….argh, Nick, you are pulling my hair out!“

„You…what? I^m sorry.“ absolutely puzzled I looked at the bunch of dark brown hairs in my hand

„What^s biting you, precious?“ you asked softly.

And I told you, all pink jelly bean. I told you what I felt in Wales. About my fear that you^d leave Duran. Me. For a dream and a destiny.

You took me in your arms, your wonderful strong arms , kissed me and said „ You are an idiot, Nick! I love you! I wanna grow old and grey with you and I want to play drums until my hands bleed, see?“ you waved your bandaged hands before my face. „Yeah, I like to cook and I like to make people happy with good food and good service and yeah, there are times when I miss that. But then you can invite the LeBons and I^ll make you happy with a meal and good wine, being the world^s most attentive waiter ever, and you^ll make me happy with dessert and spices, `key? Oh wait, naah, skip the spices for a while…“

I love you , Roger, I love you so much!
Only you can do that, making me laugh and cry the same time.


A few days later we picked up Sonya at her’s.
« You guys are killing me. What is it ?“ she was all excited in the back of the car.
„You^ll see. Sit still, Son, you are making me nervous“ you grinned.
We finally stopped in front of an Art nouveau building near Regent^s Park, which you had spotted on one of your morning runs.
„What are we doing here? What…for fuck’s sake, just tell me!“
„Patience, patience, Mylady“ you unlocked the massive front door and led us into a hall with high ceilings, wooden floor and massive candelabers.

„Wow! That^s beautiful! What are we doing here, I ask you again, Roger Andrew!“

« We are visiting your restaurant. » You took her in your arms «All your’s , if you want it. You should go for your destiny , Sonya.“

„ Are you kidding me, Roger? That’s not funny!“ she went all pale.
„ No kidding. I saw it and it had * Sonya* written on it. This is your restaurant. Let me show you the kitchen, you^ll love… »

« ROGER ! » she yelled. « Stop that! I can^t accept this. You are nuts ! I can^t.. »
« You have to.The barkeeper would be quite upset if not »

With that, Carlos appeared from behind the counter, a bottle of champagne in hand.
„ What do you think about a puerto-rican restaurant, darling?“ he beamed.

« Oh god ! I^m dreaming this…Roger, i can^t.. »

« Don^t mess with the drummer, Son! The famous rich drummer who is all happy to let your dream come true,finally“ you pulled her close. „ You deserve it, Sonya. You are brilliant and you know it.“

I joined Carlos at the counter. This was something between you and her, something about friendship and guilt.


„You know, he doesn^t have to do that..she never thought that it was his fault.“ The puerto-rican said quietly.

„You know him longer than I do, Carlos. He^s not doing things because he has to, he^s doing things because he wants to . And he wants to pay his dues. Even if those dues are only in is head.“

„Yeah.“ He sighed. „That^s him. She will accept it, no worries. She has dreamed of it for so long“

And she did, of course. Under two conditions:
At the opening you^d be there with her in the kitchen and Duran Duran would play after dinner.
She never left you out of any decisions about the restaurant, if it was for the interior design or the menue.
So, at the end, it was what the two of you had always wanted.
Sonya and Roger^s own restaurant.
You can have both in more than one case, Roger.

Chapter Text

« Oh please ! » a very familiar eye-roll hit me with that.
Saffron and I went shopping for outfits to wear at the MTV music awards and I just had suggested a dress she obviously didn^t like.
« Saffron Sahara, you are worse than me when it comes to clothes, what I never thought would be possible » I sighed, as it was the somewhat 20th shop and the 200th dress.
« I have to look absolutely fab ! Usher will be there ! I mean…USHER! Swoon! I need something sexy, you know.“ She headed for the black robes in one corner, when someone was tapping my shoulder.
A man I had never seen before beamed at me.
„ What a surprise, Nick! Long time no see. How are you ? How is Roger ? »
I must have looked quite puzzled and annoyed, as I thought this would be yet another crazy fan.
« Ah. Sure. You never met me, you just have met Diana… » he smiled.
« Oh ! Darren ! Sorry. » I laughed and we hugged.
„Nicholas James! Come here! I found something“ Saffron yelled.
„Uh.And who is that bossy lady over there?“ Darren chuckled.
„It^s Saffron Sahara, Yas^and Simon^s middlest and my beloved godchild. I could need a break here, fancy to have a snack with us?“
„Sure. I^ll wait patiencly until the lady is ready“ he winked.

We left the shop about 10 minutes later, with a very happy Saffron.
« You know, I need a haircut and a professional make up. I have to look at least 5 years older…oh gooood,I will meet Usher ! I^m starving, by the way. »

« Men and food, your thoughts are well sorted, young lady » Darren giggled. „I can give you a make over, if you want, I^m a professional hairdresser and make-up artist. »

« Oh, yes please yes please ! » she bounced. « That^s so so so cool »
We entered a chinese restaurant and Saffron glanced at Darren.
« Er…are you gay ? »she wanted to know.
„ Oh yes.You don^t have any problems with gays, I assume“
« Nah. Of course not. Gays are cool. »
« Are they ? » I grinned « How many do you know to say that ? »
« You. Otchee. Jeffrey. One of my teachers.And now Darren » she counted ».Enough to make up my mind, I^d say ! »
« Roger, you have forgotten Roger » Darren pointed out.
« Nah. It^s Otchee. My little sister has called him so. It^s so cute. Where so you know Roger from?“
„Met him at his former working place“ he answered, matter of factly.
„Oh. The Velvet?“
Darren and I changed a surprised look and the man did^t know what to say.
„ Come on! I^m not stupid. Mom and dad have talked to us about that, and Roger did, when my asshole-uncle called him your sex slave…no, toy, that was.So, have you been a co-worker or are you a club member ? Ah, never mind, not my business. »

« Gosh, young lady, you really are well sorted, aren’t you ? » Darren was quite impressed.
So was I.
„Talking about Roger…look what he has taught me!“ she grabbed a chopstick and twirled it. „Good, huh? Otchee says i^m talented. I^m thinking about learning to play drums.“

Another example for the fact that being honest is the best way.
We are really blessed with well sorted people around us, aren^t we?

One of our closest friends wasn^t still that well sorted, and it nearly ended in a disaster.
After all it ended pretty good, actually.

„You should have asked, at least!“ Simon blurted.
« Yeah, you are right. I apologize. She asked and I said yes.It will be fab, Si. Good food and wine and only a 30 minute set or something afterwards. Come on!“
It was about the restaurant opening, and our singer acted really strange about it when you told the guys that you had agreed on playing there.
„ I^m all in“ JT grinned. „I remember the last dinner and I really like Sonya“
„So am I“ Andy said. „ It^s for Roger^s best friend, Charly. Where^s your problem?“
„It^s just that you should have asked, Roger!“ Si argued, quite defiantly.
« Again, yes, I should have. I wanted to make a friend happy and wasn’t thinking straight, and I^m sorry for not talking to you first. What now, Simon, do you want me to go down on my knees and beg ? »
He finally grinned and winked at you « I^ll get you on that, drummer boy ! Yeah, well, ok. If we can bring the family.“
„Of course you can. Thank you, guys. It’s one important thing for me, really. Thank you. It won^t be for nothing. How about cocktail party tomorrow at our place ?Fine food, ecxellent cocktails with Sonya and Carlos »


So our bandmates and their wives showed up the other day.
You and Carlos had been very flirty the whole time while you were preparing the food and got the spirits and juices ready and he was chasing you with a wodden spoon when the LeBons arrived.
You bumped into Simon in the hallway. „Duh! Charly! Thank god! Puerto Ricans going nuts here“
He protectivly embraced you.“ Keep your hands away from the little drummer boy, Rodriguez“ It should have been fun, but it came out quite sharp and I saw Yasmin elbowing him shortly.
You pretended to not have noticed when you kissed him and then Yassie on the cheek. „Good to see you two.Make yourself comfortable. Do you want a white russian or something fruity?“
„I don^t care, as long as it has alcohol in it“ Si grinned and he finally said hi to Carlos.
At the time when everyone had a cocktail and the plates with fingerfood were ready, Sonya raised her glass.
„I can^t tell you all what it means to me that you are here today, that you agreed to play for me, that I will…oh god, ..i will have my own....jeeeeezus…I need a tissue here…well, thank you. Thank you so much. I was thinking about a name for the retaurant and I wanted to ask you…can I…I mean…what about hungry like the wolf?“

„Looove that“ John laughed and not much later it was sealed.
We all had some cocktails and were slightly drunk, no one noticed that Simon was a bit more than that around midnight, if not to say he was blind drunk.Or fuckin pissed, as Andy would say.
You collected some glasses from the table when he grabbed your wrists and pulled you close „ I have made up my mind, drummer boy“ he slurred and tried to kiss you.
Good thing that only Yas, Carlos and me saw it and you stood calm about it.
« Oh well, Simon, tell me about it when you are sober, okey ? »
« Come on, Charly, time to go home » Yasmin intervened.
« No,Yassie, darling“ he nearly yelled and had everyone^s attention now. „ Roger, I want to..“
Carlos, god bless him, dropped the tray loaded with plates to the floor and whatever Simon said was overlaid by the noise.
You heard it, so did I and we definetly had to get Simon out of here. With Yasmin^s help you dragged him into the hallway. He couldn^t stand straight and held on your shoulders. It looked like a parody of the evening with Carlos and Sonya.
The taller man with his head on your shoulders whispering „Please, Roger please“ and his wife trying to calm him.
„Come on, Simon. Charly , dear, come on, let^s go. » she soothed.
« I^ll help you to bring him home, yeah ? » you offered and Yas nodded.

You texted me later
*Si is asleep, Yasmin is puzzled, need to talk to her.All chaos here.*

You came home in the early morning and I woke up when you snuggled against me.
Nearly as drunk as Simon was.
« I had a very interesting talk with Yassie. Those LeBons are perverts, you know?“you chuckled and only seconds later the room was filled with your quite loud snoring.

At midday we sat in the kitchen, you with a massive headache, trying to come to terms with what had happened at the cocktail party when the doorbell rang.
„The LeBons, how much you wanna bet?“ you grinned and I went to the door.
A very crumpled singer and shamelessly good looking supermodel, what a surprise.
« I am sorry » Simon said quietly when we entered the kitchen together. „ I was drunk and ..I^m sorry, Roger.“
„And what exactly are you sorry for, Simon? For the things you said ? For the fact that if Carlos would not have been so quickwittedly everyone would have heard? Do you actually remember what you said anyway?“ you fixed at him , best Taylor-eyebrow-rise ever.

„Every single word. Can I…can we talk in private, you and me?“

„No, Charly, we can^t. Whatever you want to tell me. Nick and Yassie have the right to hear it, don^t you think?“

„Said the one who got drunk with my wife while talking about our sex life“ he snipped.

„Well, Simon, it wasn^t Yasmin who had just told me that she wants to fuck me senseless, you know? Guess what, Charly, I do remember every word you said, either. Every word you said here and on the way home.And I needed to talk to your wonderful wife because the last thing on earth I want is to mess up a marriage.What you two should do now is to tell Nick what Yassie has told me last night, yeah? I^ll go for a short run, I have to clear my head.“ Before you left, you poured the singer and his wife a coffee and kissed me „You^ll be surprised, precious. Perverts, those two,I told you!“

I leaned back and smiled at the couple. „Perverts, uh?“
„OK“ Yas sighed. „I^ll start. It was at the tour. We were in…I dunno…Dublin, I think. Trace, Gela and I had too much champagne and we ended up watching some pay channel movies..“
„ Gay porn, I guess?“I grinned, remembering what she had said about porn movies in Wales.
„You have guessed that right, Nicholas. Tracey suggested we should invite Roger and you to join us, so I went to your room and…er..the door wasn^t closed properly and..well, I witnessed some live gay porn.Way better than in the movies, I have to say .I watched you quite a while, I don^t know, I just…I wanted to close the door and leave you alone, but…it was such an intense scene and I felt aroused and touched and..I don^t know…“
„What exactly have you witnessed?“ I asked, very amused. Yasmin LeBon, a voyeur! For some reason I found this incredibly funny.
« You had him handcuffed to the headrest and fucked him“ she said, matter of factly. « But …it was more …your faces…the way you looked at each other. The things you said. I^m sure you know that your voice is utterly erotic, Nick. And dirty talk with that voice of your^s …oh well. And then there was Roger with the big brown eyes and the little moans and pleadings and I wanted to see more of it. So I stood there watching you until someone from the staff came down the hallway and I had to rush off. At least I closed your door, huh?“ she smiled.
„Very considerate of you, Yasmin, thank you so much`“ I chuckled.
„You don^t seem to be mad at me at all“ Yassie sounded relieved.
„No, I^m not. I don^t know what I would do if I^ll have the opportunity to watch as a hidden voyeur. The same, maybe, If I^d like what I see.My fault that the door wasn^t closed.. My obsession for Roger has killed a few brain cells ,I guess. »
I reached for her hand.
„That’s understandable“ she winked.
„She told me everything about it that night“ Simon explained. „And I couldn^t believe it. Even with the knowledge about the whole SM-stuff you had told us when it came to the press and all, I just could not imagine Roger tied to the bed. Let¨s face it, Nick, he is by far the strongest of you two and somehow I …I just could not see him this way. I started to observe you,out of curiousity.And at some point I saw Roger with different eyes. There is something behind his strenght and confidence, and it isn^t even hidden very well. There^s a…how to say…vulnerability, yeah. Watching you two became sort of a hobby for me and I have noticed a few of your subtile little games. It was funny and thrilling and Yas and I made a challenge out of it…who would notice first ? »
„Subtile little games? I have no clue what you are talking about.“ I said, acting absolutely innocent.
« Of course not. May I remind you of the day he obviously had to ask you every time before he lit a cigarette ? Or the concert in Prague, where you counted how many times he dropped a stick during play ? He never did it as often as then, by the way. I nearly had to laugh. And don^t think that we aren^t aware of that little silver bell in your living room or the fact that his sweat pants have somehow disappeared. Or..“

„ Yeah, ok, I got it. You are smart asses. But what was it, Si, what made you act like an idiot last night ? Don’t tell me it was the alcohol, you were sober when you arrived and the first thing you did was being rude to Carlos.The same Carlos who has saved your arse later , by the way. What the hell got into you, yelling out that you want to fuck Roger senseless?“
„ You know that I want that, I have told you in Wales. I just couldn^t find my guts. And when I saw Carlos and Roger, so relaxed and naturally flirty.. I had to think about the two together and I …I dunno…yeah, I^m jealous, I admit. And I wanted…I have more than he got. Stupid, I know, and I apologize again. That night, when we were at the Velvet, I have understood what Yassie has tried to explain after she watched you in Dublin. That expression in his face. How it can make you horny and touched at the same time .And I started to think about what it would it be like to be inside of him and looking at that face .Well, again, I have told you that in Wales, now you know the story behind it. How you two made the LeBons into some voyeuristic stalkers.duh «

« And I told you I^d die to see that, Nick » Yasmin said. „ And that^s what I have told Roger when he has been so worried that I^d be mad of him because of Si^s drunken confession. That and the whole story behind it. He was all cool about it and he had many questions about my feelings. If i would^t feel left out or something, why it is such a turn on for me and if I^m afraid that it would change things between Si and me, or you and us.So we talked for hours and killed a bottle of vodka“

„And the vodka is killing me now“ it came from the doorway were you had appeared unnoticed.
That was, for once, a very short run.
„Hangover breakfast, Mister LeBon?“ You lifted the shopping bag you brought along.
„Fab, yeah. Some aspirin with it would be fine, too“ the singer laughed and the four of us sat together like friends use to do.
It could have been like many times before, but it wasn^t . There was a notable tension and at first no one of us dared to talk about the reason for our little meeting here.
Well, I^m the controller, so I had to make the first step and I chose the straight forward way.
„I wonder, Simon, have you ever had anal sex at all?“
With a chuckle you let the bread roll you were about to bite in fall back on the plate.
Si stared at me for a few, as it came out of the blue, and then he answered slowly: „Naaaah. I mean, it^s not that i didn^t try, but my wife was not so amused »
„Indeed not!“ Yas admitted. „Just not my cup of tea, sorry. Have you, Nick? The other way around, I mean“
„Not my cup of tea either, I^d say. Tried it once or twice, but thanks, no, thanks.“

For obvious reasons all eyes were fixed at you now.
„What am I supposed to say?“ you wondered with a grin.
„What does it feel like?“ Yassie wanted to know.
„Jeez. How the hell should I explain that? Literally fulfilling. And there is that certain spot…maybe comparable to the g-spot, if something like that is really existing.“
„Oh, it is, believe me, it is!“ she assured.
« Well, then you know what it feels like or what comes close at least. Prostate stimulation. Pretty intense »
« Does it hurt ? » Simon asked
« Not at all. If not well prepared or if I can^t relax or the precious diva here is a bit on the rough side..yeah. But you should know by now that pain is a turn on for me, so, no complains. » Finally you took a bite of your bread and I squeezed your tigh under the table, letting my hand rest near to your crotch.
« What is it that you wanted to tell Roger in private then, Charly?“ I took the next step.
„Duh“ he sighed. „ First I want to know…what is it between you and Carlos? Do you have a menage a trois or something?“

„Dear god, Simon, you should get rid off your obsession with Carlos! No, we don^t have a *menage a trois or something*. As you may have noticed , Carlos and Sonya are a couple. I like Carlos, very much. He is one great guy. Smart, witty and yeah, attractive.We have shared very intimate moments together, but it has always been the four of us and it happened because we are completely honest with each other and it fits as a combination. I would never ever meet Carlos alone for sex. Again, it^s the combination.Most of all, it^s a turn on for me when Nick is watching and I can see that he likes what he sees. Nothing will happen with others if he^s not around“ you explained.

„It was quite a surprise that I like it, though“ I admitted. « As I have told you, Simon, those things can^t be planned.Carlos is pretty new to the subject, still, and he wanted to have someone experienced around for support. That^s how it started. Without them, Carlos and Sonya and what we have experienced with them I would never have asked you two to join us in Wales, by the way. So there^s no need to be jealous, Simon , au contraire. Like Roger said, it^s the combination. Carlos wanted someone experienced around and I thought it would be thrilling to have someone around who^s obviously interested but not out of the scene. It worked out pretty well, I^d say »

« Yeah. It did. I think I understand what you are trying to tell me. I would never meet you two without Yasmin either, not to mention you, Roger, alone. The whole idea got into my mind when Yassie told me that she has watched you and it was for her at first. That’s what I told to myself, at least…but …there was something about you, Roger, what confused me from the first moment on, the minute you walked into the studio back then, and I could^t figure it out. I had to cry when you first played * save a prayer*, and it wasn^t for the song only.It felt like..I don^t know…fate.“ He reached for Yasmin^s hand when he continued „ Roger,you said to me yesterday, when I was such a drunken idiot, to tell you when I^m sober. So let me tell you now. I want to fuck you. I want to look into your eyes like in Wales. I want to have my wife watching and I really really hope Nick would like that.“
„You know, Charly, you have forgotten the *senseless*-part.“ you said, matter of factly.


„Hold still, Simon , for god^s sake“ Yasmin was trying to bind his tie, standing in our hallway.
„Taaa-Daaaaa!“ Amber came out of the bedroom, all dressed up, and Daniel^s jaw dropped to the floor.
We got ready for the grand restaurant opening, the LeBons and I. Oh, and Daniel, of course. You were long gone, at 4 in the morning, to be exact, as a panicking Sonya woke you up.
It was all chaos, but in a good way.

„Could someone please open the door?“ I yelled out of the bathroom when the bell rang.
„It^s Carlos.“ Saffron called back.
« Oh » the puerto-rican said when I came out and he watched me up and down « Full programme, huh ? Sorry if I come uninvited, but I had to get out of there, they are driving my nuts. So I thought I^ll bring some champagne and we all can relax a little bit. »
« Roger is right, you are one great guy » Simon smiled and embraced him.
I winked at his wife, knowing that this was the best apologize Si could give.

Nearly a month since our little kitchen talk and the LeBon^s hadn’t seen Carlos until today.
We all hadn^t seen YOU very much as well, because in every free minute you and Son were making plans for the opening and the restaurant in general.
While the LeBon girls occupied the bathroom, we sat at the sofa, having a glass af champagne, Daniel with a safe distance to Simon, who had recently found a pack of condoms in Amber^s jacket.
« Where^s the little one ? » Carlos wanted to know.
„ At home with my parents. She won^t have fun if she has to sit still all the time and can`t use her throne“ Yassie explained.
„Throne?“ he wondered.
„A throne called Otchee.“ Simon chuckled.
« What is an Otchee ? Sounds like a golden retriever. »
The LeBons and I nearly died of laughing.
„Jeez, what are you folks on?“ the puero rican shook his head.
« An Otchee is Roger. And if you tell Roger that Otchee is a golden retriever, he will propably kill you, I^d say.“ Yasmin wiped the tears from her eyes. „ Oh my, we should get a golden retriever and call him Otchee, that would be fun.“

Daniel must have thought he^d be with a bunch of maniacs.


The opening dinner was a blast. Most of all for a singer, a supermodel and I.
It started with a quite familiar ginger spiced vegetarian lasagne, and the three of us couldn^t stop grinning and chuckling, expecially when Saffron said: „ You should have called my Ginger. Ginger is not as boring as Saffron.“
When the waiters ( all very professional, but not as half as attentive as you have been) brought the well known tabasco bottles for the next course,it took us every little bit of self- control not to burst out into hysteric laughter.
„Drummer boy is funny again“ Simon muttered.
„Provocative, rather, i^d say“ I smirked.. « Have you noticed the decoration ? Hazel twigs, unless I^m very much mistaken. Someone begs for consequences here. »
« As if sweet shy innocent Roger would do such things » Yas grinned.
„Shy and innocent my arse.“Simon giggled. « Cunning bastard »

We only saw you when we got ready to play and you went straight behind your kit as you were the last one to be on stage.
Simon was brilliant.
He^s such an amazing entertainer, the perfect frontman. He made one hell of a show when we played * Hungry like the wolf* , getting Sonya and Carlos on stage to introduce them in the middle of the song and had them singing with him.
„Hiya“ I said quietly when you stood next to me and we bowed for the crowd. „wait until tomorrow, smart ass“
You gave me one of those mischivious grins and the famous eyebrow-lift. « What for ? »
« For what you obviously need, drummer boy »


I was already asleep when you came home. It was important for you to help the HLTW-Team and I guess Son and you had your own little party afterwards.
It wasn^t that much of a surprise when I found a note on the nightstand again the next morning.
*Morning run. Head swimming.. Need it and missed it indeed.. Obviously ;) .love you
Your Rogerxxx“
I went to call the LeBons.

I smiled when I heard the key in the door lock.
„Back“ you called and appeared in the kitchen were I sat at the table, reading the newspaper.Well. pretending to read the newspaper.
„Oh* I looked up. „There you are. Good morning. Did you sleep well?“I kissed you shortly on the cheek when you wanted to lean in for a proper kiss and turned back to the paper.
„Er…not that good“ you were already irritated.
„Why so?“ I asked distantly, as if I would read something very interesting.
„ Dunno. I just…do you want some more coffee?“
„That^d be nice, thank you“ I pushed my empty mug toward you and you refilled it.
„Something for breakfast? I have brought cinnamon rolls.“ I could hardly stifle a grin. My fav, cinnamon rolls, as you well knew.
„Naaah, had something“
„Ah. OK. Will have a shower then. Any chance that you^ll join me?“
I^d love that, actually. Very much.
« Been there. Did you know that swans can^t be eaten? Interesting. I didn’t know that“
„Swans? Er, no…Ok, I^ll leave you to your interesting lecture then“ you sounded all frustrated.
„Hmhm“ I mumbled .
Only when I heard the shower running I allowed myself to laugh quietly and I nearly ruined it all when you came back, rubbing your hair with a towel, naked .
Dear god, you really needed it.
„Is there some more coffee left?“ I asked, not looking up.
„No, I^ll make some more“
I had to force myself to keep my eyes fixed at the letters before me and it became harder and harder not to laugh.
„You should put on something, would be a bad timing for getting a cold“
„Wha…oh please, Nick, what^s the matter with you today? Are you mad at me or something?“
« Huh ? What ? »
„Never mind.“ You blurted and rushed off.
You didn^t come back and I gave myself 15 minutes until I went to check what you were doing.
Cleaning your running shoes that was. You sat crosslegged on the floor in the hallway, earphones in,your lips moved when you loudlessly sang along, wearing one of those well fittet tees. And sweatpants.
I stood there leaned against the wall for quite a while before you noticed me and when you did, you just looked up with pure provocation written all over your face and pulled your earphones out also provokingly slow. „Hm?“ there was that eyebrow coming up.
„That’s sad, Roger, that^s really utterly sad.“
„What? That swans can^t be eaten?“ you grinned and I swallowed hard at the laughter forming in my throat.
„ Nah. That you are wearing those pants. You know, since you are in such a great want, I was thinking of dragging you to the bedroom to find out how many times I can make you come, but now…“ I let out a frustrated sigh. „ I said there would be consequences if you^d wear them, and I^m not someone who breaks his word. You ^ll better be naked on the bed in 10 seconds, yeah?“
You were on your feet in no time and when you dissapeared into the bedroom I sent a text message and went to open the frontdoor just a wee bit, as if someone had forgotten to close it properly.

God, I^ll will never get enough of that sight of you.
You lay naked on your back, your cock twitching in anticipation , eyes already fogged from lust.
I sat beside you to let my fingers wandering over your chest and the incredibly hard stomach of your^s.
Holding you with my gaze I reached for the steelcuffs in the drawer and fixed your wrists at the headrest.
„Let^s talk about the opening dinner, my Roger. Making fun again, you, hm?“ I took the lube and squeezed a good amount out over my fingers.
„It wasn^t about fun. I wanted…I just wanted to share something with you, something no one else would know“
„Ah, It felt more like a cry for attention, Roger. It felt more like topping from the bottom.“
„Wasn’t meant like tha…aaaht.“ you gasped when two fingers penetrated you.
„Wasn^t it? Really? You weren^t missing something the last few weeks and you didn`t want to force things a bit here?“ I had found that certain spot you mentioned when we talked to Yas and Si.
„I…ah, gaawd…I …“
„You what?“
„I …yeah…I missed it. I missed…oooh“
„And what exactly is it that you have missed ?“
„Being fucked. Being dominated. Being your Roger.“ You panted.
« Too bad that you are not allowed to come, huh, as eager as you are. Poor thing »
« I don’t think I can ho…oooooh…hold back very long, Nick »
« Well, you have to. But then, if you will beg for it nicely maybe… »
Your eyes widened and it took me a while to notice that it wasn^t for my words but for the couple that just had entered our bedroom.
All quiet they stood in the doorway, watching us. Simon behind Yassie, his arms around her waist..
„ Oh my.“ I grinned .“looks like someone has left the door open.“
I tried to hide my own nervousness, since I never had sex in front of other people before. Well, not when I knew that other people were around, at least. But according to my massive hard-on it didn^t matter at all.
Your eyes fell shut and you murmured « fuckfuckfuck »¨
« That^s the plan,Roger »
You sighed when I pulled my fingers out to get up and undress myself.
I concentrated on that sight of you, trying not to think about the two in the doorway.
They were making it easy for me, though, as they watched in silence like a hidden voyeur would do.
„Now look at me, will you?“I had to see your eyes to be sure about your consent here and when I saw the dark mahogany still fogged with lust I slowly entered you, enjoying the tight hotness around me. Another thing I would never get enough of.
We both hold still, looking at each other until you said that one word that I always needed, since our first night.
Pressing your knees to your chest I pulled out almost completely just to thrust into you with full force and you screamed with pleasure.
I stopped moving ( and it wasn’t easy, I tell you, since I had missed that as much as you)until you pushed your hips against me with yet another desperate „please“.
„Are you sure? No cuming, remember?“ I smirked when pulling out again.
„Oh god“ you panted, threw your head back in frustration and tried hard to relax yourself.
Ever so slowly I glided into you, out and in again, enjoying the heat and your tensed muscles around my cock before I made you scream again with a few hard deep thrusts.
The next time I pulled out I rubbed my thumb over the tip of your cock, spreading your precum.
„Hold back, Roger“ With that I pounded you into the mattress. I would never have thought that you would be able not to cum, but you were. Panting all over, nearly sobbing with desperation while tears were running down your face and that sight of you, your fight to please me against your own needs, made me cum fast and hard, deep inside of you.
Yasmin had been right. It is possible to be horny as hell while being utterly touched.
I had almost forgotten about the two silent lurkers in the doorway, until the model crossed my mind.
Still buried into you and with my eyes fixed at your^s , it got into me.
I reached out to touch your wet with tears cheek and said loud and clear:
„Your turn, Simon, if you want“
When I finally pulled out and turned to the LeBons, Simon had his pants down already.
Looked like he really had made up his mind . At least his cock obviously had, as it was rock hard.
We had some sort of wordless communication, as if a single word could ruin it all, when we looked at each other, Simon and I, and he slightly nodded, taking a deep breath.
Once he was completely naked he took Yassie^s hand and guided her to the bed.
No one said a word still, and everything was kind of unreal, like in a dream.
Yas and I sat on either side of you and I reached for your hand. For one thing to check if the cuffs weren^t too tight, for another thing to make sure that you were ok with what was going on. I smiled at you when you squeezed my fingers, your hand all warm ,to let me know that everything was fine.
I handed the singer a condom and he crawled into bed between your legs. He placed a hand on your chest, right above your heart and the two of you fixed your eyes at each other. His hand slowly went down to your stomach and he smiled when he noticed the moisture that sweat and precum had created there.
He wrapped his hand around your throbbing cock, stroking up and down ever so gently until you moaned „Simon“ and out of the silence it sounded like a scream.
„Tell me what you want, Roger. I have to know that you want it“ he whispered.
„I want you to fuck me, Simon“ your voice was trembling and dark with the long backholded need and I felt myself getting hard yet again from that tone alone.
Si rolled the condom over his cock, breaking eye contact with you to look down at his target when he slowly entered you.
„Jeeez“ he gasped when he overcame the resistance at your entrance and had himself buried completely into you.
Blue eyes darted into mahogany ones again and you pushed your hips against him with another desperate „Simon!“
„Good god, Roger, give me some time, yeah? I have never done this before“ he said with a voice as shaky and dark as yours.
Not much later you two let go completely and I will never ever forget that.
Not in my entire life.
Those moans and screams, the sight of the two strong sweaty bodies, your muscled legs wrapped around Simon, his large hands buried in the firm flesh of your buttocks, lifting you up to thrust even deeper and harder into you.
How your semen squirted over him and yourself and how he collapsed onto you when he came.
I could write a whole book about that Sunday.
It was so intense, all about lust, pure carnal pleasure. There were no boundaries, no limits. An orgy. Matter-of-factly it was an orgy.
This first round was one of three and in the last one Yas and you moaned into each others mouthes in a wild passionate tongueplay while Simon did his best about the * senseless*-part.
It came close, at least, when you tearfully begged for mercy, nothing more than a quivering mass. You cried for exhaustion and overwhelming emotions, and all three of us were holding you until you finally fell asleep.

Chapter Text

We went to the kitchen together and had a long talk before Yas went for the girls and groceries.
We had decided that they should be around when you^d wake up. Yas, Si and the girls. Once more to show you that nothing would come between your bound with them but also because we all needed something utterly normal to come down to earth again.
It was nearly seven in the evening when we heard the shower running.
Yet again Lulah almost dropped you off of your feet as you appeared.
« Hey » you said softly and instead of lifting her up like you used to do, you dropped down to your knees and pulled her close.
There could not have been a more obvious sign of how weak you still were, and Yas gave me a quite worried look.
« Duh, princess » Simon laughed, lifting her up easily with one arm , using the other one to pull you up and the girl flung her arms around your neck as soon as you were standing, covering your cheek with wet kisses.
« Uh » you chuckled as you took her from her dad. » What a nice greeting“
„Hi there, lazy bones!“ Saffron grinned. „I was hoping for another drum lesson after dinner!“
„Yeah, why not? Where^s your sister?“
„Wanna guess?“ that famous eye-roll.
The full dose of normality here.
„Is that Nick Rhodes over there? Is he cooking something?“ you pointed at me, grinning all over.
„Actually mom does the cooking, he^s just helping“ Saff giggled.
You came over to pull me close for a kiss.
Yassie took Lulah from you, who was not amused. „ Tallulah, Roger has to give Nick a proper kiss, yeah?“ she smiled.
„Give us a minute, we^ll be right back“ I took you by the hand and guided you into the living room.
„How are you?“ I wanted to know, cupping your cheeks with my hands and looked you straight in the eyes.
„Oh well“ you chuckled. „ When I woke up I thought i^d dreamed it all, but according to the fact that I can^t walk properly and the mess in the bedroom it really happened, uh? How am I? I don^t know, to be honest. Ask me again later. Just hold me now for a while, yeah?“
„You are still shaking“ I whispered.
„That^s the aftershock. I feel so weak, all jelly“you leaned your head against my shoulder.“Geez, I couldn’t even lift Lulah.“
„Sorry for bringing the girls, we thought it would be a good thing“ I kissed you ever so gently.
„Oh, it is a very good thing actually.I^ll be fine once I^ve eaten something, I^m starving. And I need a drink. And quite likely a pillow to sit on, as you almost have shredded me, you know. And dear god, how I have enjoyed that »
« Me too » I assured and finally we kissed very properly.
« Excuse me, I don^t want to interupt something here, but dinner is ready » Simon^s voice came from the doorway.
« Would you come in for a minute, Simon ? » you asked quietly and as he did so, you held us both, one arm around my waist, one around Simon^s.
« That was by far the most intense experience I ever had in my entire life and I…I..Thank you. Just wanted to say thank you. And if I won^t have something to eat in the next 10 seconds the senseless-part will be finished successfully“
All present LeBon-women brought out in laugher when we came back into the kitchen, as a grinning Simon was carrying you in his arms.
The persian food was delicious.

„Woah, Roger.“ Saffron chuckled. „ how can you be so hungry after you have slept the whole day?“
„Oh, please!“ you gave her a perfect parody of herself „ As if I would sleep the whole day! I went for a run in the morning , I did some shopping , I cleaned my running shoes and hey, I found out about a few very interesting things“
„What things?“ she asked, all curious.
„Swans can^t be eaten. Did you know that?“
„Who would eat swans anyway?“ Saff wondered.
„Dunno. I thought swan would be a delicatesse for posh people or something“ you grinned, giving me a heart melting *from behind lashes*-look.
„And what else did you find out what^s so interesting?“ I wanted to know.
With the most mischievous grin ever you answered: „ Cleaning my running shoes in sweatpants is quite relaxing. I think I will do it again sometimes“


After Dinner you went down into the cellar with Saffron for the promised drum lesson and then you walked the girls home and had a chat with Amber who came home at the same time.

In the meantime I told the LeBons what it was about swans and running shoes and sweatpants and we were still laughing when you came back.
Yassie jumped up from the sofa when you entered the living room and pulled you into an intimate embrace. „ I wanted to do this for hours! How are you? Is everything ok? God,I almost cried when you couldn’t lift up Lulah! Oh, I think I gonna cry NOW“
„Yasmin, i^m fine.All fine“ you kissed her gently on the forehead. „ No worries“
„I^m a bit overwhelmed, I guess“ she said with a mixed-with –tears-laugh.
« Uh. So am I. What about you, Yassie? Are you ok? Not feeling left out or something?“
„Are you kidding me? Roger! Perhaps you haven^t noticed, since you have been otherwise occupied…“ she chuckled. „ but I do have two healthy hands and I helped myself…many times. Once or twice with closed eyes and your tongue in my mouth, by the way. Come, let^s sit down and have a whisky…or two, rather »
« Er…Yasmin ? »
« Yes, Roger ? »
„ Since your husband and mine almost shredded me into pieces and your daughter forced me to sit on a very very uncomfortable stool for about an hour I don^t think that sitting is an option for the next two or three days »
So you finally lay on the carpet, flat on your stomach ,and we sat around you.
Simon was deeply concerned. „We didn^t seriously injured you, did we ? »
« Naah, Si. I^m just sore and exhausted. Very sore and very exhausted, though. That was…I don^t know. What was it? Wow. Did you take viagra or something?“
„You have been the viagra, handsome“ I smiled and it was kind of funny that you blushed.
„ Woah. I still don^t get it.“ Our singer shook his head in disbelief. „It was like a rush.“

After that magic Sunday we were a stronger unit than before.
We flirted a lot and Simon always greets us with hugs and kisses, what Saffron commented with „ indredibly cute“.
Yasmin was all touched when she found out that she has been the first woman you ever have kissed, as she had thought that it happens with Sonya when we are playing together.
„What a lucky man I am“ you said to her. „ The first and most likely only woman I ever have kissed is an international supermodel. Ha!“
Even in the band our strong bound worked out fine, musical-wise.
As I have said before:
What a great bunch of people, those LeBons.

After that very intense experience the need to have others around was fullfilled for the moment and we focused on the two of us, what included another trip to that cottage in Wales without any guests.
We enjoyed social and cultural life a lot, always holding hands and sharing kisses in public.
The gay community of the UK asked us to be their ambassadors and we were all proud to agree.
We propably became the most famous gay couple in the United kingdom.
There were a few haters, as usual, but all in all the reactions have been positive.

The *hungry like the wolf* was running very well and we didn^t see Son and Carlos very often.
Michael had found another team for the Velvet and one evening when we were kind of nostalgic, we decided to visit him in the club.
What a surprise to find Mona and Dylan behind the counter.
Michael was happy to see us but had to do some stuff in the office, so we sat at the bar talking to the vampire and his maiden, when all of a sudden you went all pale.
A gay couple came out of the playroom , the gray haired Dom in a well fittet suit, the sub on all fours, collared and leashed, covered with cane marks and obviously much younger than the other.
The dominant stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted you.
I knew immediately who it was.
„Roger! What a surprise.“ the man said with a forced smile.
« Allan » you nodded shortly.
He sat on the bar stool beside you and ordered a drink. And a dog bowl filled with water.
After he had handed the bowl to the man on the floor he reached out a hand for me. „Allan Wilder“
There was no reason to refuse a handshake, even if I really didn^t want to touch this person. „ Nick Rhodes“
„Oh, I know. My daughter has her bedroom plastered with you guys.Which is extremely odd, I have to say.So, Roger, things are going pretty well, yeah?“
„You can say so“ your tone was as cold as ice and I had never heard you sounding like that.
„Hey, come on ! No need to be so dismisse, man ! » Allan lifted his palms in a defensive gesture.
„A student of your^s? « you asked, pointing at the kneeling sub with your chin.
« Yes, to be honest » he answered and had at least the decency to blush.
„What a surprise!“ you laughed sarcastically. « Hey, Dylan, is there something left of Carlos`special mix? I want to buy a round for four,yeah?“
„He gave me the recipe“ Dylan winked, and when he passed you four glasses he bent over and asked quietly „ Everything ok here?“
„No worries, all fine“ you assured.
You turned to your former Dom with such a bright smile that I thought you would have gone all
mad and handed him a glass.
„Be nice, Al, for once. Let me have a drink with your slave boy, yeah ? »
What the fuck ? You really were gone mad !
„Rog..“ I started, but you took two of the glasses and slipped from your stool to kneel in front of the man, who looked all puzzled.
„Hi! I^m Roger. No fuss, I know you are not allowed to speak Have been there myself. Just wanted to share something with you since you are wearing the collar what was mine for three years. Cheers. To the things that never change and those that can be changed!“
Allan was not amused.

Back home I poured us a Whisky.We needed to talk.
I was utterly surprised when you came back from the bedroom, wearing the famous leather pants and cuffs and nothing else.
Without a word you kneeled before me, rested your forehead on my knees and took my hands, intertwining your fingers with mine.
I heard your deep breathing and understood what this was about.
You changed. You wanted to change and you did. But some things would never change.
When you finally looked up to me, I let go one of your hands and gave you a glass.
« To the things that can be changed » I smiled.
„He won^t change things. Not now. Not yet. You know, I can see those things in their faces. If they are happy in sub space or not, and he is happy right now. But maybe I have given him something to think about, later. Someone once told me I should not judge people by their kinks. And if he is ok with the fact that he^s not even worth to have his own collar…well. If he is not, he will remember that crazy guy in the Velvet who stuffed his phone number behind that collar and perhaps he will give him a call. See, I ^m increasing my tolerance skills here!“
„I^m all impressed!“ I laughed. „ Dear god, I thought you went all insane.“
„Funny thing. The moment I realised that it^s the same collar, not only the same make, the one I have been wearing non stop for almost three years, I had made my peace with all that.Finally. I love you, precious diva. I love you for everything you are.“
„So do I. You are not my slave boy, Roger, you know that!“
„I know. With you I am me. And that^s the change.It^s not healthy to be reduced to one part of your personality. The problem is, that the part that wants to be reduced is very mighty.“
„The part that wants to reduce is very mighty, either“ I admitted. „ It^s not easy to find a compromise here.“
„Are you happy with how it is between us?“ you worried.
„ Oh yeah, I am, Roger.I don^t want to miss a thing. Sometimes I wish we could deepen the D/s-part a bit, but then…we do have a busy life we need to be focused on, and as you said, it^s unhealthy to reduce things. I don’t need that D/s-part every day, it^s ok to know it^s there,somewhere in the background, and it won^t take much to take it to the surface.“ I grabbed you by the hair and slapped you hard on both cheeks. „ See, very easy to have you in sub mode.Go and bring the cane, yeah?“

When you were gone for your morning run the next day, I did some internet research and made a few phonecalls.
The part of me that wants to control and reduce was definately on the surface for now.

„Aaaaaw, how cute is that?“ Saffron was all hyper when we entered the hotel lobby.
„Too much pink, if you^d ask me.“ Amber snorted.
Yassie and Si had wanted a time off and we took the girls to Disneyland Paris so that they could have a romantic weekend.
Lulah wasn’t in a very good mood after the long journey and you were still outside with her, trying to cradle her to sleep.
After the check in was completed, the girls and I went to the hotel restaurant and not much later you appeared with a sleeping Lebonling in your arms.
The hotel staff was very attentive and they brought a portable cod to be set up beside our table.
The three of you were studying the park plan while we waited for the food and I had to smile all the time. Always such a pleasure to have the girls around. And you, of course. As excited as Saffron and Amber about the rollercoasters, your face beamed and you looked so boyish, so young and innocent, that it made my heart melt.
« Space mountain and rock^n rollacoaster first, and then let^s see how long the queues will be » Amber decided.
« I^d love to do this Indiana Jones adventure. » you said. »I^m such a fan of the movies »
« We have to ride every roller in the park, folks !That^s what we are here for! Nicky, are you sure you want to come with us? I mean, you are not into that stuff at all and you could take Lulah and visit a museum or some…“
„Saffron Sahara, are you trying to get rid of me?“ I interupted.
« Er…no…of course not » she blushed and we all had to laugh.
When we slipped under the sheets later we still heard the girls giggling in the other room.
„Maybe Saff is right and you should go without me“ I suggested.
« No way, diva ! I will at least have one ride with you. » you grinned.
„No chance. Never ever will I board a rollercoaster!“
„Awww, come on! One try! You choose the coaster, Nick ! Please ! »
Well, it was the Indiana Jones one. And yeah, I admit, it was fun. For once.
Never say never.
How could I resist your *please*?


When we were back from Paris and you gave Saff another drum lesson in the cellar, Sonya called.
„Is that true? Allan in the Velvet?“ she nearly yelled.
„Yep. True. Allan, a leashed student of him and Roger^s collar. You should have told me, Sonya. When you two first met, he already wore it, right? And all the arguements you had about that…you should have told me!“ I said matter-of-factly.
„I had to promise him not to tell you, Nick! And he^s my best friend. I won^t talk behind his back. I thought he has told you about it until now, though.“ She explained.
„Yeah, he has. Once, when he was drunk. But I had no clue that it was for three years and all the time. Listen, Sonya, it^s good that you called, I wanted to give you a call anyway. I have a plan and I need your help. You two, you and Carlos, would you have a problem with the LeBons around? I want you all to be there for my little plot“
„Isn^t it Simon who has a problem with Carlos?“ she wondered.
„Nah. Let^s say we solved that“ I grinned. „Would be great to meet up with all of you and talk face to face. For once there has to be a plan, and it needs to be well planned, since I absolutely don^t know how Roger will react. So I need the people around which he trusts the most.“
„You have me all curious here now, mate! What is it ? »
I told her.
« You are evil. Utterly evil. And brilliant. « she laughed when I had finished my monologue.
A week later you got a call from a slightly panicking Carlos, who told you that the meat for the restaurant wasn^t delivered and that he has to go to the market with Son to buy some. He asked if you could take care of the HLTW in the meantime. You agreed, of course, and as soon as you were out of the door, I grabbed the phone to call the LeBons.
Not much later Son, Yas , Carlos, Simon and I had a very intense talk.
« I don’t know. I really don^t know… will he love that somehow or will he kill you ? Hard to tell.“ Carlos wasn^t convinced.
Well, I wasn^t either.But it was worth a try.
During the next days I tried to deepen the D/s-part a bit, not too obvious, but I used the bell more often and confused you with my tone and several *out of the blue*-actions.
As a result you were much more attentive. A bit more quiet than usual. The sub-mode always closer to the surface and ready to be present any minute.
Once I even made you wear a buttplug in the studio, and Andy and John were a bit irritated by the fact that you seemed to be not as concentrated as usual.
Simon, on the other hand, had a lot of fun.
« My my , Roger, wherever your thoughts are, must be a much better place than here with us, huh ? » he grinned.
You knew that he knew, and that was driving you insane.
By the end of the week I got the eagerly expected call from Michael.
Well, here we go.
We had supper with Yas and Si, and beside the fact that you weren^t naked and cuffed, you were as attentive as in Wales. We all tried to act as *normal* as possible, but you figured that there was something in the air.
„Oh, by the way, Michael has called, Roger. He was all sorry that he had work to do the last time and asked if we would show up tonight.“ I said casually.
„Er, sure.Cool“ you muttered.
„We^re in“ Yassie smiled. „if wanted“
„ Of course you are wanted“ I assured.

Chapter Text

You were visibly tensed as we entered the bar,although I hadn`t brought any * equipment* with me ( because everything i^d need was already there, what you didn^t know)
Funny, the Velvet wasn^t very packed. ( all part of the plan)
Violet , Darren ( yeah, not Diana, Darren), Jared Michael,Jason, Mona and Dylan of course, and you were all happy that…what a surprise…Son and Carlos had spontaneously( of course…) decided to visit their former working place.
So we all sat at the bar, chatting and laughing and having drinks, and *Roger , the sub* slowly disappeared , making space for * Roger, the witty entertainer*
Mona poured the third round of Carlos^special mix into our glasses, when I covered yours with my palm. „ You had enough“ I said quietly.
Your brows came up shortly, but then you turned to Darren again to continue to tell him about how Saffron had met Usher.
With a grin Mona filled your glass and it didn^t take long that you grabbed it and wanted to take a sip.
„I said you had enough, Roger!“ I repeated, just a tad louder.
The others pretended not to notice what was going on, so the whole situation was even more confusing for you.
„I^m not drunk“ you smiled, deciding that the moods around are too easy for not having a drink with friends, and lifted the glass to your mouth.
In no time I had your drink in my hand.
„Would you be so kind to listen what I^m telling you?“ All calm and friendly I emptied the liquid over my shoe. „You want your drink? Come and get it.“
Dangerous grounds here. The others were still chatting and laughing and you stared at me in absolute disbelief.
For a moment it looks like you^d break out in laughter. Could there be more cliche than licking the Dom^s shoe? I don^t think so. And I knew how much you were fighting against most of those cliche things.
„Nick..“ you started.
„I^m not discussing here, Roger. Go down on your knees or use your safe word“
Watching that fight of your^s was unbelieveable touching and yet again it aroused me to no end.
You could easily end it, right now, just by saying a single word. Cupcake. One word, and we would have a nice evening chatting with friends and getting drunk. If it would be what you really wanted.But what was it about the part of your^s that is so mighty? That wants to be controlled?
„Better hurry up, drummer boy, it will be all soaked off soon“ I pushed you further
With a noise somewhere between a cry and a moan you dropped to your knees and I had to hold on at the counter, since that sight gave me shivers all over.

I swallowed hard at the lump in my throat when your tongue darted out to glide over the genuine leather.
The others had become much quieter and Simon was staring again while Sonya shook her head , not really believing what she saw.
You were still fighting, I saw it by your tension and the short looks you gave me, as if you^d wait for me to say « Haha, Roger, just kidding. »
But I didn^t .
I left you there , kneeling and licking, for nearly 20 minutes. The longer it went, the more relaxed you became, the more you slipped into your role.
When I finally stretched out a hand to pull you up, you had that well known soft and devoted expression on your face, totally focused on me.
I doubt that you were aware of the others by now.
„Are you listening now?“ I asked calmy.
« Yes, Nick. » you whispered.
« Good. I^ll tell you what we are going to do. Carlos and Simon will undress you. Clamps will be fixed and you will be plugged. Vi and I will go over to the suspension point and once you^re ready you^ll join us. You^ll crawl on all fours. Violet will bound you. We brought a few things I^m quite sure about that you^ll like them to be used on you. But you are not allowed to come, yeah ? Not until you will nicely ask me to put that little present that I have for you around your lovely neck . » With that, Mona handed me the elegant black box. « Open it !“ I commanded.
You stepped back, shaking your head, as if the box would be poisoned, and a quiet and shocked « no » escaped from your lips. Carlos, who was standing behind you, grabbed your wrists and held you in place. „Easy, Roger. It won^t bite you“ he soothed.
„I …I don^t want to wear a collar again. Nick, I“ you nearly cried.
„No Problem, Roger. Use your safeword , and I will store the box away, you^ll never see it again. I want you to have a look, though. Just one look and I will explain what it means to me.“ My fingers wandered slightly over your cheek.
Carlos let go of your wrists and with shaky hands you opened the box.
It had taken me ages to find this, to find someone who would make it, actually.
It was made of wrought silver elements linked up by silver rings with a tiny padlock, also made of silver. Nothing like the * all cliche* -collars made of steel or leather which were overpresented in every club at every party. I had measured your neck while you were sleeping and for sure no one else had wore or would ever wear this. It is yours. Made for you. Chosen for you.
Most people would think it^s just some fancy designer necklace, although the padlock and the subtle *O-ring* are making it obvious for those who know about the symbols. The *N* engraved in the lock was also a sign of it^s meaning, and I reached into my pocket for another , much smaller box and took the necklace out of it. My necklace.
Made as the one for you, much narrower, though, and no ring or padlock, but a *R*-shaped key pendant to fit into the lock.
« I want your commitment to that part of our relationship and you^ll have mine on that. I want those who know to see that you are taken. That you are mine. And I am yours. Ying and Yang, Roger. Today I want you to overcome your anger about cliches. I want you to feel the fullfilling. Again, if you really don’t want it, from the bottom of your heart, say that word. If you won^t say it, as soon as my collar is around your neck, you are more than welcome to let go. Afterwards you^ll give me a blow-job, collared and on your knees, or I will fuck you when you^re still bounded, whatver I^ll prefer then.No discussion. Take it or leave it. »
You swallowed visibly. Once, twice. Everyone in the room was holding his breath.
You took the collar out of the box to study it inch by inch, to let your fingers slide over the material, to feel the heavy weight in your hands.
Biting your lower lip you put it back into the box and let out a deep sigh.
Would you say the word ? Would you?
Your eyes darted into mine and we stood there in silence, trying to find answers in the eyes of the other.
No cupcakes so far.
I nearly died when you tilted your head and crossed your hands behind your neck.
A finger under your chin , I lifted your face and kissed you with all the love and passion I was feeling before I stepped back and gestured Carlos and Simon to do what we^d planned.
You stood absolutely still, your eyes fixed at mine, as the two men undressed you, only moving when you needed to lift your feet as they took off your shoes and socks and you had to get out of the pants.
„Hey“ Simon said softly when you were naked.“I^ll fix those, yeah?“ He was holding the clamps, the ones with the weights attached we had used in Wales.
„Hmhm“ you gave him an oh so sweet little smile and he smiled back and planted a kiss on your forehead before he let the clamps bite into your nipples You gasped shortly, then you leaned your head against Si^s chest, finding some comfort in his steady heartbeat.He held you close and whispered „ Relax. All fine. Relax.“
Carlos stood behind you, letting his hand running down your spine.
„Dear, you have to spread your legs a bit. Just a bit, ok ? » With a shaky hand he pushed the plug into you . You hissed against Si^s shirt and the two smiled at each other over your shoulder.
„Could you …would you ..just hold me for a moment?“ you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
I swear, I^ve heard Sonya sniffing.
„Sure, luv, always. We are always there for you. You know that, yeah?“ Simon soothed.
„We are“ Carlos assured and they held you between them, a dark haired puerto rican and a tall blonde singer, who surely somehow or other love you as you love them.
The women of those two men stood at the bar watching you, holding hands and were obviously touched by that scene in front of them.
Vi and I went to the suspension point and she sorted her ropes.
Everything else was up to you now, there was still the option that you^d say that word. But I doubted it. You were too deep into sub space and on your very own roller coaster ride.
Your two caring friends finally stepped back, pointing at me.
« Someone is waiting for you over there, dear. » Carlos said softly and Si added « You won^t let him wait too long, hm ? »
You inhaled deeply, turned to face me and ever so slowly you went on all fours. A deep breath again, eyes glued to the floor, and you started to crawl.
I had never seen that before and I would never have thought of the effect it had to me, watching you like this. Even in this undoubtfully humiliating posture you looked strong and powerful. Like some wild animal on prey.
Shortly before you approached us you stopped and looked up to me, your eyes fixed at mine for the last bit of your way.
Your face displayed everything. Lust, fear, shame, confusion, everything, every feeling one could feel, you could feel.
You served your heart and soul on a silver plate here, begging in silence that I won^t destroy them.
I won^t, Roger. I never would.
When you finally reached me, I kneeled down and took you in my arms, waiting for your racing heart to slow down.
Then, after kissing you ever so gently, I stepped back to make space for Violet and her ropes.
Your eyes were fixed at mine all the time while she tied you up and there was no show for effect needed.
Stomach down you circled in the air after just a very few minutes, arms behind your back, legs spread wide.
I had to walk around you several times to savour that sight, and the ones still standing at the bar came closer to watch.
Once again Mona handed me a box.
It contained something I had promised you a while ago and it took me until last week to find it.
Son and Carlos both smiled knowingly as I opened this box and plopped the fangs in.
Yet alone the noise you made as you watched that gave me shivers.
Dylan stepped from behind the counter, bringing our bag with him.
Now you…we…were surounded by all our closest friends.
Well, except John and Andy. The thought of Andy watching this scene made me chuckle. He^d freak out. And John…no. This was nothing I wanted to share with Nigel.
Like in Wales you had hands all over your body, a lot more, though.
You gasped by that overwhelming sensation.
Simon, of course, was tugging at those weights again, Yas let her fingers run over your spine, Michael stood between your spreaded legs, his hands on the firm flesh of your buttocks, not moving yet, while Mona happily joined the *Roger-hair-fetish club*, what made Carlos laugh .
Your eyes fell close when Sonya^s sharp nails scratched over your abdomen and Carlos reached for your balls from the opposite side of your^s. With that Michael started to spank your ass. Keyboard players switching to percussion, I thought with a grin.
Meanwhile Violet, Darren , Jason and Jared sat on the floor, watching.
I hadn^t make a single move until now, as I stepped forward to whisper in the vampire^s maiden ear. « Pull his head back, Mona »
She inhaled deeply, searching her guts as she grabbed your hair firmly with both hands and did what I wanted.
You knew what would happen now and your eyes fluttered open again to fix me with that unique gaze before I bent to sink the fangs into my fav spot of your curved neck. Everyone stopped with what they were doing, just holding you so that your body was completely stable.
I tasted the salty sweat on your skin and started to suck, the fake teeth punctured a pulsing vein, mixing the salt with the metallic taste of your blood.
The feeling, the realisation hit me like an electric shock. I was drinking you. Drinking your blood. Dear god.
And how much I liked it.
Your taste, the pulsing underneath the fangs, those sweet whimpers you made. I almost got lost in the sensation and had to force myself to break that special kiss. Licking the blood stain from your skin, I felt you sighing , a panted *please* escaping from your lips and my heart jolted.
„More to come“ I promised, taken aback by my own feelings.
It was planned for you, since I knew how much that scene between Mona and Dylan had turned you on, I would never had expected it to be a turn on for myself, not such an intense one, though. But bloody ( literally!) hell, it was!
I kissed your lips to let you taste yourself, to let you feel that I really had made you bleed.
Out of a spontaneous idea I bit my own wrist and made you suck at it.
The symbolism of this was making me dizzy, as pathetic as it sounds. One blood. We are one. Connected forever. Wow.
Ah, bad timing to fall into pink jellybean mode here. I had to sort myself out, needing some distance, since your closeness still obviously confused my brain, so I stepped back and took the fangs out, what made you whimper once more.
Your eyes pleaded for my touch. For another bite, maybe. For me to be near you.
Despite all the others around, you were absolutely focused on me, desperate for me.
I gestured our friends to follow me, and we all went back to the bar, leaving you alone.
„ My knees are shaking“ Carlos whispered. „Wah!“
„Tell me about“ Simon responded and the two smiled at each other.
Even Michael, the most expierenced one here, was utterly touched.
„For someone who told me that he^s not into bloodplay you did a pretty intense job here, mate!“he said quietly.
„Believe me, it surprised me to no end“ I explained. « That^s why I need a break here »
„Understandable“ my old friend chuckled and placed an ashtray on the counter. „ Since this is a private event , you are allowed to smoke . Ah, because I need a fag , that is, to be honest. »
« I didn^t know that we were so inspiring » Dylan grinned. „ What a honor!“
„Have I ever told you that I nearly passed out when I spotted you at Madame Claire^s?“ his wife giggled. „and when you came over to ask us if we would look after Roger…I thought I was going to die.“
„What a great thing that you didn^t « I pulled her close for a kiss on the cheek. « Would you look after him again now ? Checking if the ropes are not too tight ? And blindfold him ? I don^t want him to see what^s next. Wonder if he can figure it out“
„Sure“ the blonde smiled and she took a silk scarf from the counter before she went back to you.
I watched as she touched your arms and hands, your legs and feet to make sure that everything was ok,watched as she blindfolded you, checking that you could not see a thing through the fabric.
„All fine“ Mona said when she was back. „What now?“
„Now“ I said quietly „Now I will do something that is in my head for ages. Yas and Si, do you remember the evening at the pub, when we were waiting for our new drummer to show up?“
„How could we ever forget?“ Yasmin winked.
„John asked me what was going on between us, Roger and me, and I was all confused and told him that this sweet guy certainly would freak out when he would knew about my…“ I chuckled, my voice still barely above a whisper „..sexual preferences. John, I said, what can I do? Telling him, hey, Roger, you know what ? I want to tie you to my bed and torture you with your drumsticks ? »
Simon and Carlos broke out in laughter.
« You evil thing » Son giggled, also with a low voice so that you could not hear us « I bet he^ll have to use those sticks at the next concert, huh ? How Clinton-esque ! »
Everyone had to laugh about that and I saw you craning your neck as you wanted to find out what the hell was going on here.
I returned to you, took the sticks out of the bag and bent down to whisper in your ear. „How is my Roger doing?“
„Your Roger is longing for you, sir“ you whispered.
I never ordered that you had to call me sir, but you had done it a few times before, not very often, and you once had told me that it just felt right for you when you did so, that sometimes you just wanted that for some reason.
It touched me that you did it now, not knowing that the others are too far away to hear it. It felt like a commitment, like you wanted to show everyone * see, I don^t care about cliches here. Right now he^s my sir.*
I pulled your head back and kissed you, showing you that you were not the only one longing for someone here.
« I will hurt you now, my Roger, got me a new instrument. Never tried it before. »I said when I broke the kiss, letting the small end of one stick run over your back.
„What is it?“ you asked with a shaky voice.
« A surprise. Let^s see if you will find out » And I went between your legs, letting both tips wander over the back of your tighs, what made you quiver.
« Any idea ? » I wanted to know.
„No“ you gasped and I started to spank you. With one stick at first. The wood met your skin with a dull sound over and over again and your tension told me that you were too busy to find out what it was than giving yourself to the pain.
Carefully I lay one stick down on the floor, as you would surely recognize the sound of it if I would just let it drop.
With the other one I tapped against the bottom of your plug, pushing it deeper into you, while I spanked you with my bare hand, giving your cool skin a little warm up, before the whole length of the stick landed across your ass with full force, my hand reaching between your legs to cup your balls. For protection and to give you more intense feelings. Soon you gave up to figure out with what you were beaten and the room was filled with the thuds of wood on skin and the moans of a drummer being drummed.
The others came closer again and I pointed at the stick on the floor, inviting whoever wanted to join.
It was Simon who picked it up, not so much of a surprise.I dived under your leg to stand on one side of you, while our singer positoned himself on the other.My free hand cupped your balls again , Simon^s reached for your cock and we found an intense rhythm together, making you scream with pleasure. Your body arched in the ropes and Vi checked if hands and feet were still warm, still supplied with blood. She leaned over to me and whispered „ All ok, but someone should hold his head, or he^d have a very stiff neck tomorrow, since he had to hold his head up without support for quite a long time.“
„ Tell Yasmin“ I whispered back, not interupting our percussion performance.
Simon smiled at his wife when she came over to pull your head to her chest, placing one hand on the back of your neck, her thumb caressed the bite mark.
Then he whispered „ He^s rock hard and dripping here, Nick“, what made me stepping back and he did the same.
You let out a desperate howl by the loss of the sensation.
« Roger, I hope you have not forgotten that you are not allowed to come, yeah ? » I said loud and clear.
« No. I » You panted.
« Good. You know what you have to do to let go. Yasmin, would you please remove the clamps ? »
I heard Carlos gasping, as he knew the pain would be too much to hold back.
Son and I had practically trained you to let go with that, and there had only been one situation were you had managed not to come, what was in Wales with Si and Yas and only because we gave you a short rest before removing them.
„No!“ you nearly screamed.
„No? Why not ? » I started to roll your balls again, handed Simon the stick and rubbed my thumb over the tip of your cock. Rock hard and dripping, like Si had said. » Why not, Roger ? » I repeated.
„I don^t…I don^t want to come yet, Nick. Please. »
« Well,hold back then » I grinned devilishly, giving your balls a squeeze.
„Can^t…not if you…too much, Nick. Removing them. Too much.“ Your voice all shaky and begging.
„You know how to solve that, my Roger“ I explained merciless. « Safeword and we^ll stop, ask for your collar and you can let go »
„I don^t want you to stop“ you sobbed. « please don^t ! Not ready…not ready to ask for…for it. Give me…I need…just some more time, please. »
You practically buried your face into Yasmin for a hold, for support, what, together with your honest pleads, was utterly touching and incredibly hot yet again.
I let go of your balls and your cock to step beside Yasmin and removed the blindfold so that I could look into your eyes.
« Please » you whispered again, locking your dark eyes with mine.
« What if we^ll give you a break, like in Wales, before removing them?“ I asked warmly, not able to be that merciless any more.
„Will do“ you sighed in relief, trying to give me a smile „Thank you“
For a while only your heavy breathing could be heard, as you tried to calm down and no one dared to say a word.
Your head still rested at Yassie^s chest, her hand still on the back of your neck, you never broke eye contact with me.
„Now“ you whispered after somewhat 10 minutes and you cried into the fabric of Yas^dress when Carlos took the clamps away from your tortured nipples.
„Oh jesus“ you panted „you are killing me“
« My turn now » Sonya said with a wicked grin when she walked into your sight, her beloved bullwhip in hand.
Yasmin and Simon, who had never seen such a monstreous whip before, both gasped in shock.
„Bloody hell“ Simon blurted, which reminded me of the fangs I had left on the counter and I went to get them.
Carlos , who saw Yasmin shudder when she had spotted the whip, came to her and said quietly „Let me hold him now, Yas. We are a pretty good team when it comes to whipping. Aren’t we, my dear?“ the hair ruffle again and you chuckled „Uh, quite a team, yeah.“
I noticed that Simon swallowed hard and hoped that his jealousy won^t ruin the moment, but he just went close to his wife to pull her in his arms. Carlos dropped down to his knees and Vi adjusted the ropes, so that you came down a bit and could lay your head on his shoulder.You knew that we would push you over your limits now, and you whispered „ This time I^ll need your help to let go, Carlos.“
„ I know, Roger. Don^t be afraid.“ And he kissed you as deep and passionately as he did when he first did so.
Michael^s jaw dropped by that sight and Simon swallowed again.
Knowing his temper quite well, I leaned over to him and whispered „ Would you like to lie under him, so that you can touch him? Don^t worry about the whip, Sonya is never missing her target.“
Yasmin smiled at me, well aware why I had offered that, and we winked at each other when Simon slipped under your body without hesitation.
You, in turn, weren^t aware of the singer^s body under you, since you tried to relax , preparing yourself for the things to come with deep breaths.
I plopped the fangs back in, giving Son a thumb up, and without warning the whip blew the air out of your lungs.
„Dear god“ Yasmin muttered, looking like she would need some support, which was provided by Darren, her devoted fan. He took her hand and soothed „ Son knows what to do and Rog likes it, no worries.“
When Son had found her rhythm and Yassie heard your familiar moans, she finally relaxed, leaning against Darren.
It was just then when Simon joined in, reaching out for your cock , and your head came up in surprise „ AH!“ you cried out, knowing that his touch would make it harder for you to control yourself, which meant that you had less time to make your final desicion about the collar.
Especially when Sonya increased pace and impact of her strokes, giving you no time to recover.
Out of the corner of my eyes I saw a beaming Mona, who went for the collar box and a knowingly grinning Michael, both well aware of the fact that it won^t take much longer now.
Simon somehow managed to lick over your nipples, craning his neck in a quite uncomfortable position while he never let go of your cock.
« Oh god. Ooooh god. Aaaah, goooood“ you whimpered, and my own hard-on became painful by the scene and your noises.
„Just ask for it, Roger. Ask for it and let go.“ Carlos soothed, his fingers intertwined with your sweaty hair. „ It^s ok, just ask“
„Gaawd. Oh fuck. Oooooh fuuuuuck“ your moans and whimpers turned into desperate howls and when the tip of the whip hit the bottom of your plug, a masterpiece of precision, your big wet eyes fixed at mine.
„Nick…Nick…Nick..“ you panted with the strokes, I gestured Sonya to stop and Simon sank down on the floor, letting go of your cock.
Carlos slided backwards on his knees to make space for me and I took his place, on my knees like him. I had to swallow at the lump in my thoat when I came as close to your face as I could « Yes, Roger ? »
Your eyes fell shut and you took one, two and three deep breaths before fixing me again and with the most touching, shaking and oh so desperate voice you whispered :
« Please, Nick, collar me. Please. »
« My pleasure » My hands were shaking like your voice when I took the silver collar from Mona, but somehow I managed to put it around your neck without breaking eye contact, hardly realiszing that Carlos was fixing my own necklace at me from behind.
« Thank you » you said quietly when the collar was in it^s place and we leaned our foreheads together, my hands in your hair.
« Come for me, Roger »
One more whiplash, one more stroke from Simon and my fangs sinking into your flesh was all you needed and with a heartbreaking cry you came. All over Simon, who couldn^t have cared less.
Not giving you time to recover, since my own need to let go became almost unbearable, I rose from the floor, all jelly but in a need like never before, pulled my pants down and buried myself in the warm wetness of your mouth, shooting my load down your throat the moment your tongue flickered over my hot skin.
Falling on my knees again, I reached for the back of your neck, pulling you close for a never ending kiss.
World stood still. Again.
The two of us the only ones existing.
I tasted myself in your mouth, heard your noises which had never sounded any better, we breathed each other, not aware of the things going on around us.
Only when Vi had completely freed you from the ropes we finally noticed that you were hold by Si, Michael and Carlos, who , all slowly and gently, lay you down on the floor, on a blanket they had placed under you.
„Roll over“ Michael said warmly and you did so, your head in my lab, while the caring friends covered your shaky, sweaty body with another blanket and went back to the bar ever so quietly.
I glanced down at you, stroking your sweaty hair out of the way so that I could look into your eyes.
„Hello there“ I smiled.
„Hi“ you croaked out and you had to chuckle by the sound of your own voice.
You were still shivering all over and yout teeth started to chatter as your body functions were in a mess like never before and the overwhelming experience took it^s toll.
„Will be over soon“ I assured, rubbing my hands over your shaking chest.
„Hmhm“ your eyes fell shut and you gave in, knowing that fighting against the shivering and teeth chattering would make no sense and you just had to wait.
I couldn^t stop to touch your beautifully beaming face when you let the tears flow in silence because you needed a ventile for all those feelings, and we stayed there on our very own planet for what seemed to be an eternity.
Someone brought coffee and water and I helped you to sit up against my chest.
We ended under a hot shower, I had no idea how I had taken my clothes off or how we got there at all.
When we finally stepped out of the hot steamy cabin, there was a warm bathrobe waiting for you together with soft and fluffy towels, my own clothes on a hanger, yours nowhere in sight, as if someone would have known that getting into pants and shirt was still too much to handle.
„How incredibly erotic“ you muttered when I helped you into thick frottee socks.
I broke out into almost hysterical laughter, as this was the first full sentence you spoke out.
I pulled you close and hold you as tight as I could, chuckling against the soft hot skin of your neck.
„You are unbelievable, Roger, so utterly unbelievable.“
It took us quite a while until we went back to the bar.
Our friends were chatting quietly, sipping their drinks and for once the room was filled with cigarette smoke.
Yassie was the first to notice us, and beaming all over she slipped from the bar stool to make it free for you, pulling you into a heartily embrace and placing a butterfly kiss on your forehead.
„Welcome back!“ she smiled.
„Uh, not quite back yet“ you whispered, still not trusting your voice.
I had some kind of deja vu with Carlos and Son behind the counteras I stood behind you when you sat down and you seemed to have the same one as you leaned your head against my shoulder, giving Carlos one of those *from behind lashes* -looks and said quitely „ Coffee. I need coffee. And a cigarette“
With a grin Carlos went for the coffee maker, then he stopped, turned around again and reached out for the most intense hair ruffle ever.
„Carlos is one great guy, you know?“ you chuckled. „Really not bad for an homophobic vanilla macho, huh?“
„If he is a homophobic vanilla macho, he is hiding it pretty well“ I said, while we had everyone staring at us as if we went completely mad.
So Sonya told them about that talk at the femdom meeting here, including the scene how you and Carlos first met.
„Really?“ Simon asked in disbelief when she ended her story. „ I would never…oh, nevermind. I should have learned by now that * i would never have guessed* isn^t working here.“
With a deep sigh you reached for the back of my neck.
„It^s never. Never isn’t working here. Nevers are not allowed in here, as all nevers have been proved wrong, I tell you.“
„ I would never ever kiss a man“ Carlos chuckled.
„ I would never ever have a woman around for play“ I joined in.
„Never ever would I fuck a man“ Simon grinned.
„You fucked…oh bloody hell, what is it here? Sodom and Ghomorra?“ Michael laughed. „You should have warned me, Nick, I couldn^t believe my eyes when I saw Roger and Carlos kissing! So what are you guys up to? Is it some sort of private orgy club or what?“
„ iI^s …“ you started and looked around as if you would notice all of them for the first time. „it^s…wow. I…excuse me, I^m …uh. No worries, I^m … a bit overwhelmed » and you slipped from the stool, flung your arms around me and cried, you sobbed heartbreakingly, to be exact.
In no time Si and Carlos were by your side and we all held you until your sobs changed into mixed with tears laughters.
„Wah. Uff. Sorry. It^s just… everytime I had thought that…it couldn^t be more intense something more intense happened and I …uh. I never…never ever would have thought that… this is possible. All of it. Everything. My whole life.
Everything has changed. And sometimes I^m afraid that I will just wake up and all of it was only a dream. Sometimes it feels too good to be true. Never ever would I wear a collar, by the way, ha! Carlos, my dear homophobic vanilla macho, I need a dose of your special mix, out of a glass, please, because to be honest, Nick, it^s just not such a great taste when mixed with leather, really not! You are all utterly utterly evil, you know that? Since when is this little intermezzo here planned? And what was it that you spanked me with in the beginning? And who was …ah. Drink. Now. Please“
Whiping the tears away, you leaned at the counter, facing us.
Someone had placed the drumsticks on the counter, probably Simon, and mechanically you took one, twirling it while grabbing the glass Carlos had filled for you. You emptied the drink in one gulp.
„So?“ you questioned.
„You know“ Simon started and I was impressed that he sounded all calm.“Next time you will have your hands shredded from drumming, Michael could play the keyboards and Nick and I will play your drums, so that for once you can recover, hm?“
„Wha…“ the stick hit the ground with a very loud thud when your eyes widened in disbelief. „ You…no…you…“ and you tilted your head back, breaking out into that lovley wonderful Roger-laugh
„ We hit you with your rhythm sticks, hit you, hit you, hit you“ Simon sang a slightly different version of the Ian-Dury-song. „ Oh, I should sing that at the concert at Wembley , in front of thousands of people, while you are playing your drums with those, how thrilling! And if you won^t be perfectly in time, we could…“ Still laughing, you grabbed the singer to give him a noisy wet kiss.
„Oh“ he grinned „ What was that for?“
„ For being you, Simon, that was for being you. For making everything so easy and for making me laugh and because I love you.“
You said *thank you* to everyone, hugged them all, one after another, and when we finally went home, sharing a taxi with Yas and Si, you fell asleep in the car.

Chapter Text

I woke up very early and wasn^t very surprised to find the bed empty beside me.
But there was no note on the nightstand, so I got up to find out what you were doing.
Baking, that was. I counted three baking trays loaded with cupcakes plus one still in the oven, and you were preparing the topping right now, earphones in, topless and in sweat pants. You nearly jumped when I tapped your shoulder.
Pulling the earphones out and switching the mixer off you turned to me. „ Did I wake you up? Sorry, I forgot that this thing here is pretty loud“
„You didn^t, i just couldn^t sleep any more. Come here » I pulled you close for a kiss. „Cupcakes?“ I chuckled.
„Yeah, cupcakes“ you grinned. „ For some reason I had to think about cupcakes very often during the last couple of hours.“
„ Have you thought about saying it, Roger?“ I took your hand led you to the table, but you shook your head slightly and blushed, then you turned, pulling the pants down and I gasped.
Never before your ass and tights had been so swollen, colored in all shades of red, blue and green. „Therefore the sweatpants, Nick, I couldn^t get into my jeans.“ You glanced at me over your shoulder and I let my hand wander over your colorful ass, light and gentle. „ Do you want a cold pack? There^s one in the fridge, I think“
„Nah. As long as I^m not sitting it^s ok. And… » you reached behind you for the back of my neck „ I like it.“
„Oh, me too“ I assured and licked over the bite mark at your neck. „ I just didn^t think that it would turn out like this.“
„Well, how could you have known? Was it your idea? The drumsticks?“
I told you about the talk with John at the pub and you chuckled.“ John should have warned me.“
„Come on, Roger, let^s go back to bed and talk, yeah?“ I pulled your pants back into place and kissed your neck yet again.
„Hmhm. Just have to wait until the last load is finished.“ You turned and kissed me and in no time the kiss somehow turned into something hungry and desperate and ended in a quickie in the kitchen, you leaning against the counter, me fucking you with a little help of extra vergine olive oil, and we had to laugh by the * beepbeep* of the oven clock, which started the second we were finished.
Not much later we were in bed again. You lay on your side,snuggled against me, your head on my chest and your fingers played with the *R*-pendant of my necklace.
« If I thought about using it… » you started after I had asked you again about your safeword. « Yeah. I actually did. Twice. First when you wanted me to lick your shoe. »
« For a moment you looked like you^d break out in laughter » I smiled, intertwining my fingers with your hair.
« For a moment I thought you^d be joking, really ! And when I realized that you were all serious, I wanted to end it. But…uh…little drummer boy won the fight with * I just hate those cliches*-Roger.“
„And I^m glad he did“ I kissed your hair. „I knew this would be the hardest bit for you.“
„Yes, it was“ you admitted. „Maybe just because it was in the very beginning“
„It had to be in the very beginning, Roger. I needed to know if you^d overcome your cliche-phobia, and I couldn^t think of anything more cliche. Plus, it had to be out of the blue, tappet switch or no-go . I nearly cried when you went down on your knees“
„Did you? You were hiding that pretty well“ your tongue flickered over my nipple.
„What was the second time you thought about cupcakes? Oh…I know » I let my fingers trail over your collar, finding the tiny padlock.
« No. » you said quietly. « it wasn^t about the collar. Not after I had seen it, though.I loved the idea behind, with your necklace and all, I actually think that is something utterly romantic. But I wanted…I wanted to be pushed like that, because I never would have confessed that…that I like it“
„You don^t remember, Roger, do you? » I smiled warmly, realizing that you really didn^t know that you had confessed that a while ago.
« Remember what ? » you asked, confused.
« That you told me you liked it. Wearing a collar. » I hooked one finger into the silver ring , pulling slightly. „It was when Yas and Si came over for dinner after Wales and Simon almost freaked out about Carlos…“
„No“ you shook your head in disbelief. „ I really don^t remember that. My subcontious mind seems to be funny. Speaking about Simon almost freaking out about Carlos…that was it when I was thinking about using the safeword for the second time. When Carlos held me for Son^s whip.That face of Simon was quite scary. I was afraid he^d ruin it all. »
« Noticed that, solved the problem »I chuckled, once more quite impressed about your empathy for your friends, even when you were deep in sub space.
« Yeah, I nearly came when he first grabbed my cock, that was absolutely unexpected. » you laughed. «Nick ? »
« Yes, Roger ? »
« You collared me »
« I did »
« Thank you »

About 4 pm the next… the same day actually, you called the LeBons.
« Hi Yassie. It^s me. Are all Lebonlings in for a massive cupcake orgy?“
I heard the model laughing through the phone and not even 15 minutes later our cosy little garden was filled with all different kinds of sunshine.
Even Amber showed up.
„You know“ she mumbled, mouth full, „ If you wouldn^t be gay and waaaaaay too old, i^d marry you! These are the best cupcakes ever!“
When you were gone in to get more coffee, Simon leaned over.
„What happened to the *no sweatpants*-rule?“ he whispered.
„We happened, Simon. We and two drumsticks. What do you think why he^s so hyper and never sits down, huh?“ I answered quietly.
„That bad?“ he grinned.
„All green and blue“ I nodded.
„ Do you think it^s odd that I kinda like this thought?“ the singer chuckled when he pulled me close to kiss my cheek.

Your brother and the Duran-management were not so amused about your collar. While Steve somehow made his peace with it after the two of you had a long *brother talk*, David and Wendy from the management constantly complained. They kept on asking you to put it off for concerts, for interviews and for official photo shootings and you kept on telling them to fuck off.
To be honest, I was so proud of your unconditional commitment. I told you that I wouldn^t mind if you won^t wear it all the time, but you simply said „But I would“ and after a few weeks they stopped to ask you.
A few reporters tried to get answers about the meaning of it, asked you why you were wearing it and your answer was as simple as true « Because I want it »
Yet another tour followed and again we had not much time for ourselves. Sex in hotel rooms in which you could hear everything through the walls was rather unpleasant as we knew that there were always a bunch of fans in the hotel floors, not to mention any spanking, whipping or anything else what could have had annoyed other hotel guests or fans.
One evening we all ended up in Andy^s suite and everyone was quite frustrated about the whole situation, None of us knew how to deal with the pressure of not having any privacy for several weeks now.
« To say it with Roger^s words : fuckfuckfuck » Andy sighed, opening the 5th beer can of the evening.
« Fuck ? Has fuck anything to do with sex ? And what is sex again?“John giggled, pulling Gela close. „You know what? We should go to a desert island, having orgies. Wooohooo!“
„You know“ Simon, who was more than just slighty drunk, slurred „talking about fucking and orgies doesn^t help much, really not!“
„The desert island is quite a good idea, though!“ you said, leaning against me. « Become a rock star, they said….sex and drugs and rock^n roll, they said…har har!“
„Talking about drugs…fancy a joint, anyone?“ Trace lay a sachet on the table.
« Oh my » Yassie giggled « haven^t done this for aaages »
„I was about 17 the last time“ you grinned.
„Let’s get stoned and play spin-the-bottle!“ Andy laughed. „ doing teenage things keeps you young, yeah!“
And that^s what we did.

Ands was the first to spin the bottle and the bottleneck pointed at me.
„ La, Diva, I wonder…have you ever had sex with a woman?“ he asked.
„No, Andy, never.You have asked me that a million times before, by the way.“ I grinned and spun the bottle. Funny enough that it pointed at Andy.
„Andy, I wonder, have you ever had sex with a man?“
I nearly fell from the couch as he answered „Yes, I actually had. Experimental phase. I was 16 or 17…can^t remember. I was drunk, though. But it was one of the best blow jobs ever!“
Tracy throw a pillow at him, giggling like mad. „if you^ll ever do that again, let me watch, key?“
„I doubt that it^ll ever happen again, but yeah, I will let you know, Tee.“
„You would watch your husband getting a blow job from a man? Really?“ Gela asked.
„Depends on the man“ Trace grinned. „ I^d never want to see it with another woman, though“
You and me changed an amused look and Yassie went slightly pink as the bottle pointed at her now and Andy said; „ Talking about watching…have you ever watched secretly? Others having sex?“
„Yes. Who would not if an opportunity occurs?“ she admitted and winked at us.
„Depends on the couple, i^d say. I would never watch if i^d not like what I see“ John explained.
„Oh, I liked what I saw. Very much!“ Yas giggled and spun the bottle. It pointed at you.
„What about you?“ she grinned „ have you ever watched?“
„ Yes, I have, but it never was secretly“
„Huh? You mean, people wanted you to watch? Why so?“ Andy wanted to know.
„Well, some people just like to have an audience. Others need support“
„Support. Why ? » Tracy wondered. « Oh, I see…it^s an SM-thing, isn^t it? Whenever someone is new to the subject?“
„Exactly“ you nodded.
„What for would they need support?“ Andy asked.
„Well“ Simon remarked „If someone ties you up or handcuffes you and turns out to be one sick psycho, you^d be glad if someone else is around, huh ? «
« Good point, yeah. I have never thought about that ! » our gituarist said.
No one cared about spin-the-bottle any more and Trace rolled another joint.
« Oh, by the way…Sonya said something about the traffic light code..what exactly is that ? » it came to Yassie^s mind.
« Quite simple : green means all ok, go on. Yellow is like…uh, still ok, but don^t go any further , and red means stop.“ You explained.
„Makes sense“ Yasmin nodded.
„Sonya? HLTW-Sonya? She^s into it? I would never have guessed.“ Gela was quite surprised.
„She used to work in the club…you know…the Velvet. With Carlos and me.Right now I really miss those times.“ You sighed „ no hotel rooms, no fans…“
„No Nick. No Duran, no drumsticks“ Simon chuckled.
„Ah. Good point, really!“ you snuggled against me „ still…it was fun to work there.“
„It surely was.Very interesting people there, doing very interesting things“ the singer grinned. „I really like Violet. And Darren-Diana.Michael is pretty cool. How are they all? We should go there once this bloody tour is finished!“
„You have been there? In that club?“ Andy blurted.
„Yeah, twice. With Yas , Nick and Rog. Out of curiousity.Always good to broaden your horizons, huh? As i said…interesting people doing interesting things. Especially Violet with her ropes.What^s it called again ? Shi… ? »
« Shibari. Until we^ve been there together for the first time, I didn^t know that she^s so well known.“ I answered.
„Haven^t seen them all since…er…since Vi^s last performance“ you chuckled.
„Oh yeah, the last performance! Much better than the first one.“ Yassie giggled.
„Indeed“ Yet again I kissed that special spot of your neck, biting shortly.
„Most intense performance ever, if you^s ask me. » you sighed. »I^m ready for the desert island now. »
And not much later we found one. A desert island.

Chapter Text

„No way!“ I crossed my arms.
„Nick, Island! Island means it^s in the ocean, surounded by water! What have you thought how we^ll get there?“Simon was all frustrated.
„Not with your bloody boat, Charlie! The one you nearly drowned with! Just no!“
„Jeeez! Roger, would you help me here? La diva and his quirks. » the singer gave up.
« Look, Nick.. » you started
« Don^t ! Don^t talk to me as if i^d be a 3 year-old, Roger ! » I blurted.
« Then stop to act like one, for fuck^s sake! Simon is right. To get on an island , a small island with no airport, you have to use a boat, huh? And he has one. He can sail it. So where^s the problem ? » you reached for my hand
The problem was, actually, that just the thought of being on a boat made my stomach turn over. The thought of a trillion gallons of water under me. With whatever lives down in the deep blue. Yeah, I know…I really sound like a three-year-old here. I think I have some sort of *boat-phobia*.
« I don^t like boats. I don¨t like oceans. » I sighed , leaning against you.
« Yeah, I figured that, Nick. But I really really want to go on that island with you ! Now what ? What can we do, hm ? » You cupped my cheeks with those strong, warm hands. « You went on that rollercoaster with me, you survived. You will survive a boat trip, too. »
« The ride took 2 minutes, Roger. The boat trip will take two fucking days ! »I felt ashamed by the obvious fear that showed in my trembling voice.
„I will always be by your side. I will help you through it.“ You promised. „Just think about it, Nick. You and me. A desert island. A full week. And then another week with Yas and Si. Wooohooo, how thrilling!“

„Oh, the thought of BEING there is phantastic, it^s just the thought of how to get there that bothers me.“ I chuckled nervously.
„Hm…you know what? I could blindfold you and we^d tie you to the foremast…maybe you just need to be pushed a little“ you winked and I heard Simon laughing quietly.
„Dream on. Roger, I …I can^t swim. And I should never have watched *jaws*. And…“ you closed my mouth with your^s to stop me.
„I can swim, Nick. But that doesn^t matter, because you don^t have to be in the water. We won^t drown. Simon is a very good sailor and we wouldn^t be on a boat race. There^d be no need to rush and no need to take any risks, ok ? » you soothed.
„Hey, Nick, we could tie Roger to the foremast instead! Who would think of jaws and water with a naked Roger in sight, huh?“ Si grinned.
„If that helps…“ you smirked and I couldn^t help but laugh.
„As much as I love the sight of a naked Roger, especially a tied one, for some reason I think that a good amount of valium would work much better“

And 2 weeks later we boarded a plane to Antigua. From there we^d sail to that small private island. 2 squaremiles in the middle of the caribbean sea.
No people, no telephone, no internet. A radio set for emergencies
Only a luxurius house, lot^s of palms and sand and us. And food and wine, of course.
Oh well, being a famous rockstar indeed has considerable advantages.
Too bad that no money in the world could buy a teleporter or something, as the thought of the boat alone still made me sick.

Yas and Simon picked us up at the airport. They had arrived a few days earlier and they looked fab with their tanned skin and the beaming smiles.
Then I made my first steps on that freaking boat.
Lying in the harbour, all calm and peaceful, it tried to fool me, like, * look , Nick, i^m completely harmless. No worries. *
When we sat on the deck together, with wine and really good food, I almost believed it.
And I enjoyed to be surounded by beautiful people, as Si and you wore shorts only and Yassie in her bikini proved why she was a supermodel.
The difference in high between the singer and you always made me smile when you stood next to each other.
We watched a very spectacular sunset before Simon turned to me. « Ready to see your cabin, la diva ? You^ll have the bigger one. »
Well…it was cosy, really. Not bad.
„You can leave the door open if that helps“ Yassie took my hand.
„Can we?“ you smirked and the eyebrow came up.
„That^s not what I meant“ Yasmin blushed. „ If this makes you feel claustrophobic or so“
« Hey, just kidding ! » you grinned, but I’m sure that wasn^t the truth.
After all the time with no privacy I wasn^t in the mood for sharing, I wanted to have you all for myself, so I not only closed that door when we went to bed, I even locked it.
You were already in bed and my actions had been noticed, as your mieschivious grin told me.
I leaned against the door, watching you.
You patted the free space beside you. „ Come and join me, yeah?“
« I finally found something positive in being on a boat. » I said, not making a move.
„And what would that be?“ you wanted to know.
„You won^t be able to literally run away in the morning“
„Too bad. I could go for a swim instead“ you chuckled.
„In the open sea? No way! I^d rather tie you to the foremast, like Simon has sugessted. You won^t swim with sharks and whatever else.Not if can prevent it.“
„A morning run in London is much more dangerous than a swim, Nick. The statistics…“
„I don^t care about statistics. » I interupted. « No swimming in the open sea. Period!“
„Yessir“ you saluted, grinning all over.
„i^m not joking here, Roger!“
„I know. And I won^t swim in the open seas, ok? Would you please come to bed now?“
« Take the sheets away from you first, I want to see you“
With one swift elegant move you uncovered yourself
That few hours in the sun had been enough to give your skin a golden shimmer and the almost daily drumming during the tour together with your regular work-outs showed quite well.
Been a while since I took my time to look at you. I mean, to REALLY look at you. To savour the sight of your body.
The last time you were tied up, there was no silver around your neck and a lot of other people had been around.
The knowledge of being alone with you now, the thought of being alone with you for a whole week, blew the air out of my lungs like Sonya would have used her bullwhip on me.
„Come here. Please.“ You whispered, but I couldn^t move. Not that I didn^t want to. You just literally took my breath away.
You must have thought that it was my fear of boats what made me still leaning against the door and you slowly rose from the bed to come over to me.
„Hello, precious“ you smiled when you started to unbotton my white cotton shirt.
„Hello handsome“ I smiled back, not moving a single bit.
„You and me naked, Nick, that would make such an interesting contrast“ you pushed the fabric off of my shoulders and your warm hands wandered over my chest, then deeper to unbuckle my belt and open the zipper.
Finally I was able to breathe again and inhaled deeply when your fingers brushed against the obvious bulge. It was just then when we heard the sounds of pleasure from the other cabin.
You chuckled against my shoulder. „ Do you think they would leave the door open for us?“
„ Would be fair. I just don^t care right now.“ I gently sucked at your neck.
„Me neither“ Pushing my pants down, you dropped to your knees and went for my shoelaces.
« Better than my vision » I murmured.
« Huh ? » you looked up.
« Just having a flash back here.When we first met, in the tube… I had that vision of you on your knees in front of me, and because of the massive hard-on from that thought alone I missed my station. Reality is much better, though.“I explained hoarsly.
„And it works“ you observed, slightly blowing against my erection.
„ The day that won`t work i^ll be dead“ I assured
You had me out of my clothes now and let your tongue glide over the sensitive skin of my inner tights before you gently sucked my balls.
„Bed“ I gasped „Now“.
Holding each other we stumbled to the bed, you took me with you when you sank down on the sheets, my body covering yours, and you flung your legs around my hips , pulling me as close as possible.
We kissed eagerly and I sucked your lower lip into my mouth, biting it so hard that it bleed.That was unintentional but an enormous turn on, as it reminded me of the evening you got your collar, so I hooked a finger in the ring of it,pulling slightly as my lips trailed down your neck to find that magic spot, licking it gently before I bit again.
How much I had missed those wonderful noises you made, those moans and whimpers!
And that face of your^s ! Head tilted back, eyes closed, mouth open, your lower lip swollen and decorated with a drop of blood. I used the opportunity to let two fingers glide into that inviting mouth, enjoying the warm wetness.
You grinded your hips against mine while you sucked eagerly at my fingers and it was perfectly clear what you wanted.
I wanted the same. Fucking you for the first time in more than a month.
It^s just that i had no idea where the hell we stored the lube. And since we had decided that we won^t need condoms any more…but then, we still had saliva, hm?
I pulled my very wet fingers out of your mouth to rub them over your entrance, slowly pushing in. Your eyes fluttered open and you hissed a „Yesss“ , greedily forcing my fingers deeper inside as you buckled up against the intrusion.Not interupting to work you open I positioned myself beside you so that I could burry my cock in the wetness of your mouth. You understood imediately, trying to make me as wet as you could and not much later I entered you, almost as easy as being lubed. To be inside of you after such a long time was almost too much to bear, and I had to pause , allowing me to calm down a bit.
It only took a few more minutes to make me come, though, and just a few seconds later you let out a well known cry as your semen squirted all over you.
Huddled up to one another, your arms around me, I sighed « You know what ? being on a boat isn’t that bad. »
You kissed me ever so gently with your still swollen bruised lip and whispered : « I don^t care where we are as long as you are with me“

The next morning, after we had breakfast altogether, Yas and you went to buy some groceries and I sat on the deck with Simon.
« Did you have a good night ? » he grinned.
„Yeah, thank you, I had. Just like you two. Roger wondered if you^d would leave the door open for us.“ I replied.
„Oh, we actually had left it open. But it’s understandable that you need time alone. Would you even like to watch us at all ? »
« You bet. Not sure if and how we^d participate, but watching only is definetly not a problem, au contraire. »
« Good ! Yasmin was afraid that she^d turn you off.“
„ Just because she^s a woman? One has to be dead not to be turned on by Yasmin, gay or not.“ I chuckled.
„Will you lock your door again tonight?‘“ he asked with a mischievious smile.
„ Oh, did you try to come in?“
„ Of course we tried. But like I said…it^s understandable if you want to be alone.We^ll have plenty of time the week on the island with you.“
„True. I doubt that I can even think of sex once we^d be out on the ocean with your bloody boat.I^d be busy to stop myself from throwing up, I assume.“ I shuddered by the thought.
„Seas are all calm, Nick, it won^t be that bad, I promise. It^s a miracle that you are here, though. For how many years have I tried to make a boat trip with you now ? Over 20, I^d say.Roger should get a gold medal for talking you into this ! » he gave me a Carlos-like hair ruffle.
« Don^t tell him, but I^d do almost everything for him » I winked.
„I know, Nick. And I^m pretty sure that he knows it as well. It^s called love, hm? You two are made for each other, that^s obvious. And I^m not saying that because of the thrilling benefits Yas and I had recieved.“ His amazingly blue eyes were so full of sympathy, love even, that I had to pull him into a heartily embrace.
„We are so blessed, aren^t we?“ I smiled.
„Oh yes! Far beyond any expectations“ He placed a kiss on my forehead.
« Woooah, look at that, Roger, we can^t leave them alone for one minute!“ we heard Yasmin chuckling behind us.
„Aaaw, but aren^t they just incredibly cute?“ you laughed when the two of you approached us,
„Cute?“ Simon snorted.“ Puppies are cute. Babies are cute. We are not ! We are incredibly hot, yeah ? »
« Come on, incredibly hot husband of mine, let^s get ready to start the trip. Cast off, capitain ! » Yassie smiled warmly as she pulled him close.
« Ah…so soon ? » I panicked, feeling my stomach turn.
In a split second you had your arms around me and your eyes were fixed at mine.
„The sooner we^ll start the sooner we^ll be there!“
„Uh. Right. I^ll go for a valium then.“ I sighed and my knees weakened when I got up.
„Stay here, Nick,I^ll get the meds, ok? Just calm down“ you soothed.
„I think it^s better to go in the cabin, I don^t want to see all the water…“ I said quietly, yet again ashamed by my bloody fear.
„Ok then. Let me help you“ You had to literally drag me under deck and I lay down on the bed , breathing deeply.
You went through all the luggage for the meds, leaving a mess on the cabin floor.
Watching you relaxed me and I even had to laugh as you held up the bottle of lube together with the valium. „Uh. Is there a reason to pack that into the same bag?“ you chuckled.
„Sure. It^s stored in the * all things that relax me*-section.“ I grinned.
„Ah. Like the hairbrush and…oh…eyeliner?“
„ You know that it^s quite relaxing for me to look good, yeah ? Hair in place and make-up on and all ? Plus, I could spank you with it ! »
„ How the hell would you spank me with eyeliner?“
Joking around like this, I didn^t even notice that the boat started to move and shortly after I had taken two valium, I fell asleep.

When I woke up, you lay beside me, leaning at the headrest and reading a book.
The mess on the floor was gone. There was only the light at the nightstand switched on and the room was quite dark.
„ What time is it?“ I wondered and you put the book aside, smiling at me.
„Hi prince valium, did you sleep well? It’s after midnight, the boat is anchored and captain Simon said we made a good distance today.How do you feel?“
„Pretty good actually. Are they still awake, Yas and Si?“
„ Yeah, they have a drink under the stars. The sky is really beautiful.“
« So why are you here ? You don^t have to babysit me all the time » I reached for your hand.
« I^m here because I promised you to be by your side.I talked you into this and I have to make sure that you are ok » you pulled me close.
« I^m , to my own surprise, very ok, Roger. Should we join the LeBons ? Watching the beautiful sky?“ I stroked your cheek with my thumb, quite touched by your words.
„You don^t have to play superhero here, Nick, yeah? We^ll only join them if you are really ok!“
„I assure you, my dear, I^m fine. At the moment, that is. And if that changes, I^ll go back inside, promised.I have slept for more than 14 hours now, I^m starving and I need a drink and some company.“
„Great“ you beamed „ plenty of food left from dinner, I^ll get you a plate full. And the Bonbons are drinking champagne.“
„The bonbons?“ I chuckled „ Thats^s cute“
« Don^t let Simon hear that » you grinned and kissed me, slightly wincing when your bruised lip touched my beart stubbles. »You need a shave »
« That or I should stop biting you » I chuckled.
„You need a shave“ you repeated, smiling wickedly.“No need to stop the biting, please“
„I didn^t want to make you bleed, though. That was accidentaly.“ My thumb caressed the bruise.
„Never mind. Oddly enough I love it, you evil vampire you »
Together we went on deck to find two completely naked LeBons lying on a blanket, holding hands and watching the stars.
„Oh“ Yasmin sat up, covering her breasts with her arms. „ There you are! Good to see you, Nick!“
„ You don^t have to cover you, darling. Nick just told me that one has to be dead not to like the sight of a naked Yasmin“ Simon giggled.
« Not exactly my words, but still true » I smiled. « we don^t want you to feel uncomfortable, Yas, but in case you are covering you because you think that we don^t like to see you naked, you are wrong, ok ? »
« Good to know » Yasmin stood up to get us glasses and champagner. » Roger, come with me, Nick needs some food“
„Huh? Er…yeah. Of course.“ You stuttered, staring at her.
„What is it, Roger?“ she worried „ not feeling good because I^m naked?“
„“ Although it was quite dark, your deep blush could be seen quite well. „ I mean…I have never…“
„Are you trying to tell me that you have never seen a naked woman before?“ the model asked in disbelief.
„ Well..not of flesh and blood, no. Not that near and not so stunningly beautiful! Please excuse my staring.It^s!“ you looked her up an down.
„Should I get dressed then?“ she asked, obviously insecure.
„Don’t you dare!“ you laughed coyly „ it was just…unexpected.“
„Talking about unexpected nudeness…one word: Wales!“ she smiled and reached for your hair.“ It^s only fair, isn’t it? You have kissed me, Roger, and last time at the Velvet you practically buried your face in my breasts“
„But you have never been naked“ you said, matter-of-factly.
„True. Because I thought that would be a turn-off for you two“
„Oh, believe me, Yasmin LeBon, it^s not. So very not! I totally agree with Nick.“
„Fine then, Roger Andrew Taylor, let^s go for food and drinks, yeah? And I want you two to be naked, either, yeah? As I said, it^s only fair!“ she grabbed your wrist,dragging you inside.
« Well » Simon chuckled « THAT was cute! You have heard my wife, Nicholas! Out of your clothes!“
„As you wish, master Simon“ I grinned and did as I^d been told.
A few minutes later Yas and you came back with a champagner bottle, two more glasses and quite a loaded plate and you laughed out loud.
« How strange ! For once I^m the only one with clothes on.That is indeed something new »
„Yeah. And it needs to be changed!“ Si commanded.
« Your husband is very bossy today, Yas ! » I smiled broadly at her.
„ Yeppers, but he^s right, isn’t he?“ she winked..
„I got it, folks, I got it“ with a very cute ( yes, cute!) smile on your face you undressed yourself and the four of us sat under the stars, naked skin glistening in the moonlight, sipping champagner.
How incredibly decadent and erotic.
It wasn^t about sex. It was about closeness and trust and friendship. And the knowledge that this friendship with benefits offered a lot of thrilling opportunities. There was no need to rush things.

The next day was pure horror. Both, ocean and boat, had decided to show their^s true faces and kicking me in the ass.
Rough seas, monstreous waves and heavy rain.
I thought I would die, but at least nausea and vomiting kept me so busy that I didn^t have any time to be embarrassed, as you were by my side as promised, holding me, cleaning me up and nursing me.
The good thing was that we reached that island earlier than planned and before 3 pm I had firm ground under my feet. Well, i would have had, if you were not carrying me inside the house , where I fell asleep after yet another valium.
The sight of you when I woke up was well worth all the suffering,though.
Roger Taylor, tanned and in sexy speedos, smiling all over…yeah, I think therefor I can stand some nausea.
„Hey! Glad to see you^re alive! Brought you some soup, you need to eat!“
« Yes mom » I chuckled
« Be a good boy, Nicholas James, eat your soup to make mom proud, yeah ? »you giggled and started to feed me.
The spoon missed my mouth a few times and we made quite a mess. « Are you drunk, Roger ? » i asked, quite amused and took the spoon from you.
« Had a few drinks with the bonbons » you admitted. « I was so scared that I needed something to calm down. I^m so sorry, Nick! I never wanted you to feel so sick! And it was my fault and I…“
„Roger“ I interupted, taking your hand to kiss it. „ It^s ok. Being here with you was all worth it, really! Are the Bonbons still here?“
„ Aye. They didn^t want to leave until they^d know you`re ok“
„ I will be ok once I had a shower and some more food. Go tell them that everything is fine, i^ll join you in a few.“
„You sure?“
„Absolutely, luv. Firm ground was all I needed.“
„Really? I can help you..“
„ Rush off, Taylor! You have nursed me long enough. I can have a shower myself » I laughed, quite amused by your concern.
« If you say so » After a butterfly kiss on my forehead, you finally left.
I felt like a new man when I stepped out onto the large terrace where you sat with Si and Yas, much to my regret fully clothed.
You jumped up when you spotted me. « Let me help you. Sit down. Do you want some fruits ? Or.. »
I grabbed your hair and pulled your head back. Something I hadn’t done for a very long time.
« Stop that now. Stop to act as if i^d be deathly ill. I^m fine. Do I have to put you over my knee to make you behave normally again ? »
« Uh, he^s obviously back to control again » Simon laughed.
« Indeed » you muttered, not sure how to put it.
You looked all puzzled when I started to undress you.
„What..“ you whispered.
„ We^re on a desert island. No need for clothes. » I explained. « at least not for you »
The Lebon-couple leaned back, amused and excited, watching how I got you out of your clothes.
After that rather unpleasant experience I needed my confidence back, I needed to know that you^d still submissivley obey to me.
Don^t get me wrong, Roger. I was really glad that you took such a good care of me that day, that you helped me and that you held me when I thought I would vomit my brain out, but I had to get this picture out of your head. I didn^t want you to be my private nurse, I wanted you to be my lover again. And my sub.

« Now go and get me some food. » I said, once you were naked. «and bring a wooden spoon if there is one in the kitchen »
Your furrowed your brows and gave me that *Mom-look* , as if you^d think I won^t be ready for this.That was definately not what I wanted to see.
„Roger!“ I warned. „ Again: stop that!“
„Are you su…“ you started and I had to use the* one hell of a trigger*, as you had once written, slapping you hard in the face.
„Go.Food and spoon. Now.“ I said quietly, my eyes locked with your^s and my hand firmly in your hair.
„As you wish“ you whispered.
„There we go!“ I smirked and kissed you harshly, making you wince of the pain from your wounded lip.
„Pheew“ I sighted when you were gone. „ it’s about time to get him out of * nursing-mom—mode*“
« Are you really sure that… » Yassie begun , but imediatly stopped when I gave her a Saffron-like eye-roll. „Puuuh-leeese, Yasmin, not you as well!“
„No slapping, please, no slapping, I got it!“ she grinned.
„I just want my Roger back. Roger, the devoted lover. I already have a mom, you know?“ I winked. « Let^s get the table out of the way, I need some space. »
« How will you gonna eat then ? » Simon wondered while we put the table aside.
„Oh, you^ll see. Have to sit between you two, ok?“
„Sure.“ He smiled, happy that they^d obviously be involved here.
When you came back we sat in one row in the comfortable rattan sofa, chatting as if nothing had happened.
At a glance you knew what to do as you dropped down to your knees in front of me, carefully placing the wooden spoon in my lab, handed me fork and knife and held out the plate without hesitation.
Only when I started to eat I noticed how hungry I was and I sent you into the kitchen again for a second serving, well aware of that little, almost triumphant smile in your face when you went for it.
Yeah, Roger, you have been right. I needed food. I had to eat something. It was just much more fun this way than with your concerned *mommy-look*.
For me as much as for yourself, I guess.
« Thank you » I said quietly as I put the cutlery on the empty plate, honestly meaning it.
« My pleasure » you replied, and your charming smile was drop-dead beautiful.
You disappeared into the house one last time to bring everything back into the kitchen, and I turned to our singer.
„ Simon, tell me, are you still jealous of Carlos? Your annoyed look when they have kissed there in the Velvet made Roger almost say his safeword, did you know that?“
« Uh, Nick ! Your ability of shooting out of the blue is fucking scary ! » he grinned. « No, I didn^t know that. And …well…I^m working on it. I mean…I really like Carlos. There^s no reason to be jealous, it^s stupid and childish and selfish and…but yeah, I guess I am ,still.“
„Would a blow-job help?“ I asked and nearly laughed when he blushed.
„Er…oh. That^s …oh. Again, that^s really out of the blue, Nick.“
„I had to think about it when Andy admitted that even he had a blow job from a man once.Something that Roger had shared with Carlos and not with you. So, would it help?“ I really wanted to know.
„I don^t know. At least, I^d like it…very much, actually. I…“ he stopped as you just came back on the terrace and dropped wordlessly on your knees again.
« You what, Simon ? » I acted as if you won^t be there.
« Not sure if ..I mean… » he glanced at you and his blush deepened. »This is something very intimate… »
Yas and me broke out in almost hysterical laughter.
„Simon! You^ve gotta be fucking kidding me! You…and I^m using Roger^s own words here…almost shredded him, but a blow job is something very intimate?“ I chuckled.
„I know what he means.“ You said quietly, quick on the uptake. »It^s something he shares with Yasmin. »
„Exactly!“ the tall man reached out to stroke your hair.“Thank you! As I have said, I^d like it. I^m just not sure if it^s a good idea…Yassie, what do you think ? »
The model smiled wickedly when she slid from the sofa. „ Excuse me, I have to talk to Roger in private for a minute, yeah?“ With that, she pulled you up and you two went to the other end of the terrace , talking quietly.
„What is that about?“ Simon wondered, obviously nervous. I heard you laughing and when you finally came back you could hardly stifle a grin as you kneeled before me again.
Yassie pulled her husband close. „ Darling, no worries about me, I^d love to see that, really. Up to you. »she kissed him ever so deeply
Since Simon seemed so insecure about it, something I never would have guessed, I decided not to force things. Now he knew there^s an option, he knew Yassie was ok with it and he was very curious about your little talk. So was I but I didn^t ask.
Must have been something incredibly funny, since you still couldn^t stop yourself from grinning.
„Having fun there, my Roger?“ I asked, pulling your head back once more to look in your eyes. I almost had to chuckle myself when I watched the corners of your mouth twitching, no matter how hard you tried to keep a straight face. „I^ll help you to take it seriously then. Lie down on your stomach, all over us.“
We hadn^t have a proper spanking session for ages, so I started with bare hands, testing grounds. Your head rested in Simon^s lab and I was well aware of the fact that you were breathing directly into his crotch.
If this won^t give him ideas then nothing would.
He buried his hands in your hair as I switched to the wodden spoon finally and your breathings became gasps,obviously pressing your head against him, until you had to come up for air.
„Simon“ you panted „You are suffocating me. »
« Sorry »he muttered, but as soon as you lay your head down, his hands were in your hair again. This time he held back, not pressing so hard, giving you some more space and your hot breath seemed to drive him insane, even through the fabric of his shorts.
You two were moaning to the rhythm of a wooden spoon on hot skin.No need to be quiet, no need to think about if someone maybe could hear something or if some paparazzi would take interesting pics.
I can^t tell you how very much I enjoyed it!
Well, we all did.
I had to think of Yasmin, who was , yet again, a little left out.
And just when i tried to figure something out what would make it a little more thrilling for her, she leaned over to me and whispered:
„I want to see you fuck him, yeah?“ and she handed me a bottle of lube.
„Where is that coming from, Misses LeBon?“ I chuckled.
„Out of my bag. Have somethin else there, not sure if I^m…well..if I^ll be allowed to use it…or if I^ll find my guts to do so“
She opened her stylish, quite large designer bag to let me have a look inside,
Let^s say I was a bit taken aback. But still…it was only fair.
I caught Simon grinning and knew that the couple had made a plan here, which amused me to no end. „Permission is given, if you want.“ I smiled and kissed her shortly on the cheek.
I gave you two more strokes with the spoon before I grabbed your hair and pulled your head up.
„Yasmin wants to watch how I fuck you. And I want to watch you giving head to Simon. So you^ll be busy here, honey. Let^s see If we can shred you completely this time, huh ?But first… way too much chlothing here. Undress us. Ladies^first.“
A little shaky you slipped from our labs, not saying a word, and stood in front of Yas, who was beaming at you before she got up and turned, so that you could open the zipper at the back of her dress.She wore no underwear, so once the dress was fallen to the floor she was completely naked.
You let your hands running down her back and she gasped. „ Wow, so hot and rough“
„Sorry“ you murmured and jerked back as if you^d have touched a hot oventop.
„Ah, no, Roger!I like that! Come here!“ Facing you, she took your hands in her^s.
„Touch me wherever you want, ok? No need to be shy.“ She lay your arms around her waist and you pulled her close, your hands on the bare skin of her back again.
Simon joined in and flung his arms around both of you as he stood behind you, his lips trailed down your neck and he locked his eyes with Yassie^s as he turned you around.
Now sandwiched between the LeBons, you started to unbotton his shirt.
„Kiss him“ Yas whispered, burying her hand in your hair and the taller man bent his head to lick gently over your lower lip.You let him in and the kiss deepened until you gasped in pain from the pressure on you swollen lip.Still none of you wanted to break the intense tongueplay.
I leaned back and lit a cigarrette. Watching this gave me shivers all over.
Especially when Yas started to kiss your neck and your moans were telling me that she used her teeth.
What an incredible threesome. You, the smallest one, trapped between this tall, gorgeous couple,in an utterly erotic embrace
You had found the waistband of Si^s shorts and pulled them down. Not even when he stepped out of it your contact broke and finally I was the last one still wearing clothes.
You broke the kiss, much to Simon^s regret, and turned to me as if you^d read my mind.
« I^m fine here, Roger. Let me finish my cigarette while watching.Make him ready for me, Simon, will you?“
He catched the lube I tossed in his direction and without hesitation he opened the bottle and squeezed some liquid over his fingers.
„Look at my wife while I^m doing this“ he pushed you around almost harshly and had his fingers in you in a split second. You gasped by the sudden intrusion and out of a reflex you wanted to step away, but Yas held you in place, not giving you any space to escape from her husband^s attack.
Your body tensed and you looked at me, kind of helpless, over the model^s shoulder. Giving in to me was one thing, giving in to the Lebons, especially with me not being by your side, was another, so I stubbed out the cigarette and joined you. Cupping your cheeks with my hands I locked my eyes with your^s.
„It^s ok.Relax. Do what Simon has told you“ I said quietly.
You gulped visibly and your eyes fell close for a moment as you took a few deep breaths before you opened them again and fixed at Yasmin^s . Placing one hand on the small of your back I watched how Si worked you open for me, you holding eye contact with his wife.
Your eyes, Yassie^s and your’s, had almost the same shade of mahogany, what I never had noticed before.
You moaned when Simon’s long fingers hit your sweet spot and Yassie asked:
„Do you like that? Do you like what Charlie does?“
„Yes“ you hissed „Oh yes!“
« Don^t enjoy it too much, we haven’t even started, my dear » Simon growled, but despite his words he pushed even deeper into you.
« Gaaawd. » you whimpered « Fuck ! »
« Yeah. Will do » I pulled you close for a kiss and the singer stepped back, the loss of his fingers made you shudder. With shaky hands you undressed me and we pressed our erections against each other for a moment before I led you back to the sofa and commanded : »Up with you, on all fours. Simon, sit down here. »
I climbed on the sofa behind you while Si sat on the other side and Yas stood in front of the sofa, letting her hands running up and down your spine.
You let your head sink down into Si^s lab when I slowly entered you, yet again gasping against his now naked crotch and he roughly grabbed your hair, pulling you up again.
„Tell me, drummer boy, did you ever have two cocks inside of you at the same time?“
„No, never“ you whispered „Never, Simon“
„Glad to be part of the premiere“ he smirked triumphantly and I knew he was thinking about Carlos.
You glanced at Yasmin, silently asking for perission and when she nodded, you let your tongue circle around the tip of Si^s cock. He stared at your head in his lab as if he couldn^t believe what was about to happen, then his eyes darted into Yasmin’s.
„Fuck! Look at this, Yas“
„I¨m looking, darling, believe me,i^m looking!“ she assured and intertwined her fingers with your hair.
„You won^t forget about our little deal, Roger, hm?“ she asked softly
„Surely not.“ You looked up to her and she bent down to kiss you shortly.
„Now, gentleman, Yasmin LeBon wants to see some action, yeah?“ the model grinned.
It wasn^t easy to find a rhythm together, to give you enough space to please both of us. Me pushing too hard into you and you lost the hold of Simon^s cock, he forcing you in his lab too much and you had to pull away from me., but finally we found our pace.
You knew that you were not allowed to come before me or Simon, and the fact that you had to do a very hot version of multitasking here helped you to held back.
As much as I enjoyed your hot tightness around me and as much as I liked to see your head going up and down on Si^s cock, what he, according to his backtilted head and his gutural moans, liked nonetheless, i have to admit that it was kind of distracting that I could not thrust into you as hard as I wanted.
Your moans were also muffled by his dick in your mouth and you know how much I love it when you are loud. So I was indeed glad when the singer grabbed your head, thrusting himself all the way into your throat and came in your talented mouth with a desperate „Oooooooh yes, fuuuuck, yes“
What happened next caught me completely off guard.
Yasmin pulled you into a kiss and Simon and I gasped when we realized what the two of you were doing here. You gave his cum to her. For some reason that was utterly erotic in a very dirty way, and we just stared at you, taken aback by the sight , especially when there was a stain of cum running out of Yas^mouth and your tongue darted out to lick it away.
„Bloody hell“ Simon panted and his wife grinned: „ See, we can share“
Extremly turned on by that scene I couldn’t hold back any longer and pounded into you as deep and hard as I could, all happy to make you cry with pleasure finally.In the very last second I remembered Yassie^s little surprise for you and I gasped ; „ No coming for you yet, Roger“ just when I shot my load into you.
You howled in frustration when I pulled out imediately,me still panting and all shaky from a massive orgasm, you panting and shaky with a desperate need to come.
„Yasmin, found your guts?“ I breathed and Simon chuckled when he pulled your head up to look into your eyes.
„That will be fun, promised“ he grinned devilishly.“ She brought something for you. I guess i have to thank Mr Rodriguez for the inspiration“
All puzzled, not getting what that was about you turned to Yasmin „ What…?“
Your eyes widened when she took a massive strap-on out of her bag.
„Holy…fucking…god“ you gasped,
„Only fair, hm?“ yet again she pulled you into a kiss while Simon already was fixing the monstreous dildo at her and I grabbed the lube.
When she broke the kiss I took her hand, guiding her behind you.
„He^s well prepared and ever so ready, so just push in. Don^t be afraid“ I whispered and the model took a deep breath as I spreaded a good amount of lube over the faked cock.
Simon cupped your cheeks with his large hands. « My wife is going to fuck you.Isn^t that exciting, drummer boy?“
If the first time, at our home, after the interesting fact that swans can^t be eaten, was an orgy, then I don^t know what this was.
Pure porn?
It ended in the early morning, shortly before sunrise,with you crying again, all of us huddled together into one big ball of skin and sweat and arms and legs onto the terrace floor on a few blankets which Yasmin had found in the house and we fell asleep under the stars.
I blinked when a sadistic ray of light darted into my eye. You were spooned against me, but the perverted Bonbons were nowhere in sight.
Had they left without saying goodbye?
The table was in it^s place again and was set up with plenty of food. I sat up carefully, trying not to wake you up and glanced down at you. So beautiful, So innocent. Images from last night flooded my brain and I shook my head in disbelief, laughing quietly.
„Hey“ Simon stood in the doorway, coffee pot in hand, hair still wet from the shower. „ How is he doing?“
„ Deep into dreamland“ I smiled, placing a hand on your warm chest to feel your steady heartbeat.
„We have to leave soon, much to my regret. The girls will arrive at the airport tomorrow evening. »
Slowly I stood up, yawning and stretching.
„Too bad, Would be a good thing to talk things over, but I don^t want to wake Roger up“ I took the pot from him , brought it to the table and went back to pull him close.
„What about you, Simon?How are you ? »
« Fab. Absolutely fab » he beamed, kissing my cheek. „Dear god, that was ….I don’t have words for it“
„Me neither“ I chuckled.
When Yas came out the three of us sat at the table, talking quietly about the events of last night.
Not much later we went back to the boat together and I kissed the fabulous LeBons goodbye.“ See you in a week“ I winked.
I covered you with a thin blanket against the midday sun,, went for the shower, got me a book and enjoyed the silence, the warmth, the peace and the thoughts about last night.
Every once in a while I had to glance at you, smiling with happiness.
It was nearly 3 pm when you finally woke up.
Desorientated you looked around until you spotted me.
„Ah. Desert island with Nick“ you smiled „that^s where I am“
„Yeah“ I went over to you, dropped on the floor and held you close.
„You slept the whole day. Yas and Si had to go. Do you want some coffee?“
„Too much information“ you yawned, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.
„ What time is it?“
„ About three. I didn^t want to wake you up »
« And the LeBons are gone ? »
« They had to, much to their regret »
„Has Yasmin fucked me with a monster dildo or have I dreamt that?“ you looked so puzzled that I had to laugh.
„She did. Three times“ I chuckled.
« Ah. Well, that explains why I feel like being hit by a bus »you leaned your head against my shoulder. « Coffee would be fine, but I think you have to help me up first, this floor is pretty hard, you know » you said quietly and buried your nose in the curve of my neck. « Not fully awake yet »
Once we sat on the sofa together, you on a few quite thick pillows, you started : « So, that rough sea and your sickness turned out into something…er…good, huh ? »
« Oh, it turned into something good the moment you came into the bedroom in speedos » I winked and pulled you close.
„You know what I mean. If you wouldn^t have been sick, Yas and Si would have left yesterday, right?“ you murmured against my chest.
„Yes, propably.“ I kissed your hair and whispered: „I won^t call it *something good*, though. I^d call it hot to death. Jesus, when you kissed Yas with Si^s cum in your mouth, Ì thoughtI^d die!“
„When she told me she wants it like that I couldn^t stop grinning. Angelface Yasmin, who would have thought she^s so utterly debauched?“ you chuckled. „ But then, there^s something deeper behind it, you know? I had a very long talk with them when you were asleep. After we^d arrived here.Simon is such a sensitive soul, he cares so much for her, and since his drunken rant at the cocktail party he^s afraid that he would push Yassie away somehow with his little…obsession for me, as he has called it.He said he^s still confused about his feelings. Especially when it comes to Carlos, this is something that he really can’t explain. »
« Yeah, he knows it^s childish and stupid and selfish. I guess he^s afraid that Yasmin could be jealous, too“ I assumed.
« Yes, sort of. And if you look at last night from this angle, it was all about sharing, wasn^t it? About Yasmin and Simon sharing the same experiences somehow.Which is, if you^d ask me, beside the fact that it was outrageously salacious, also incredibly sweet. They are so fucking unusual and unique.“
„They really are.I know Simon for more than 25 years now. I still remember that day when he brought that mag with a feature of Yas in it and said:* I have to meet this girl. This is my future wife.* Well, he was right.Yas turned him down several times before they finally had a date.Took her a while to find out that this big-mouthed bloke is one of the most honest and faithful men on the planet. Maybe that^s it what made him falling for you. You two are very similar at that point.“ I had to kiss you again „ Fucking unusual and unique“
„Oh well, yeah, when it comes to unusual fucking, we^re quite a team“ you chuckled. „ Dear god! Congratulations, Nick, you finally have completely shredded me. I can^t barely move here.Sorry to say that, but I don^t think I can handle any more anal sex for the next days. Unless you want to switch for once , that is. »
« Oh, thanks, but no, thanks, I don^t think that I want this » I grinned.
But still…the thought of you being inside me slowly settled into my brain.
„ Hey Nick“ you suddenly beamed „ there^s snorkling gear in the house. What do you think?“
„Haven^t you just told me that you can^t move at all ? » I laughed by your enthusiasm.
« Will be easier in the water ! » you winked.
„I can^t swim, Roger“ I reminded you.
„I will teach you. It^s easy.“
So I finally learned how to swim, held by the most wonderful arms ever. You were right. It was easy. With you, it was easy.
Later we watched the sunset, sitting on the beach, holding each other, and I think this was one of the most beautiful moments in my life. You and me, all alone, the stunning colours of a burning sky, the calming sounds of the waves and the warm breeze from the sea…heartbreakingly romantic.
„Roger?“ I whispered.
„I love you.“
„And I love you. So much it hurts“ you whispered back and we kissed deeply.
When I woke up the next morning, an enormous wave of happiness rushed over me as soon as I had opened my eyes. Desert island with my Roger!
You were still sleeping beside me and I came up to one elbow, looking at you.
You are so sweet when you are sleeping, looking so young and soft. Kissing you shortly on the cheek I got up to make some breakfast and for some reason I opened a champagner bottle. We^re on vacation, right?
„Uh, how extremely decadent!“ you greeted me when I came back into the bedroom, smiling all over.
Breakfast in bed with champagner.Delicious.
And it became even more delicious when you took a sip and kissed me with the pearly liquid in your mouth.
„Don^t tell Simon, but this tastes much better than his cum, really“ you chuckled.“ Your^s, in turn, is a delicatesse“ With that, you poured your glass right into my crotch and it didn^t take long that you tasted a mix of Nick and champagner.
I didn^t hesitate to return the favour and not much later we held each other close again, sharing a cigarette in bed.
„Not even 10 am and I^m slightly drunk“ you grinned.
„Who cares? No one is here to be annoyed about that“ I kissed you, enjoying the mix of smoke, champagner and myself in your mouth. « Hmmm, you^re so tasty » I murmured, deepened the kiss and gave one of those perfect nipples of your^s a quick squeeze.
« Greedy Nicky »you laughed
« Uh, greedy Nicky, that sounds like a really bad porn movie »I chuckled.
« Are there any good porn movies ? » you wondered.
„Nothing as good as the one I saw recently, called *Roger and the monster dildo* »
« Darn, yes, that was a good one. » you sighed and we smiled at each other.
„Roger?“ I started.
„Yes, precious?“
„I had to think about…“ I hesitated, not sure if I really would be able to speak it out loud.
« What ? » Your warm eyes fixed at me. If not now, then when ? If not you, then no one.
I inhaled deeply.“ What you said…about switching“
„Oh. Really?And..what do you think, then?“
„I never have done this.But if I ..if this ..well, with you, I think…“ Funny, I really had to fight for words here, maybe I felt restricted by my…I don^t know, role?
„I tell you something, I have never done this, either. I have no idea if this would work.But i^m curious, I admit.And since I^m really out of order at the moment.. you aren^t afraid that it would change things between us, are you? It^s nothing I would want as something regular. It^s just..curiousity, as I said.“ You cupped my cheek with your hand, intensivly glancing at me.
« No, Roger, I^m not afraid that it would change something. It^s more that ..ah, you know that you are pretty well-built, don^t you? And I^m so really not into pain“ I chuckled and felt myself blushing.
„What^s that? Nick Rhodes is turning red! Wow“ you giggled and I threw a pillow at you. „ It’s you, Taylor, you are doing this to me. You^ve done it before »
« Have I ? Usually it^s the other way around. You making me blush“
„ That day when you showed up in the studio and told Andy that you are a fuckin fagott“ I smiled by the memory. Seemed to be a hundred years ago.
„Really? I haven’t noticed that! I was probably too puzzled myself when he called you la diva and I just realized that I was not the only fuckin fagott… Nick, it^s ok, if you are not feeling good with it, there^s no reason to try it.“
„ I can^t get it out of my head, though“ I admitted. « I guess it won^t go away until we try it »
„Just let me now when you^ve made up your mind then » you kissed me ever so gently and we went under the shower together.
You got the snorkeling gear and while I sat at the beach, you were chasing fish.
Would I ever make up my mind about that? I felt so bloody insecure that it annoyed me to no end.
Later I had another swimming lesson with you, but still all I could think about was you inside of me. It became quite distracting.
After a light lunch we explored the island together, all naked,not very helpful for getting that thought out of my mind.
You opened yet another bottle of champagner when we came back, and we huddled onto that fabulous sofa.
I had to laugh by the immense contrast between my skin and your^s. Me still snow white, you as dark as Carlos`, darker, even.
„Another porn movie title: Snow white and dark knight“ i chuckled, letting my hand run down your stomach. „Sexy, your all-over-tan“
„Not half as sexy as your pale vampire look“ you grinned.
« Ah , you are just saying that because you want to be bitten again, you shameless thing » pulling you close, I sunk my theeth playfully into your neck, just as a tease.
« Uh, stop that. » you gasped.“ Please!“
„Why the hell should I stop that?“ I grinned, licking over your salty skin.
„Because it makes me horny and then I want you inside of me and this is still not possible“ you whispered.
„There are other things we can do“ I smiled against your hot skin.
„ Yeah, I know, but there^s nothing better than that. I love it so much, more than anything else“
„Is that so? Aren^t you supposed to be thankful for everything your sir is willing to give you?“ it was still fun, but your reaction was all serious.
„I know it should be like that, but…“
„Hey! Roger! I^m just kidding here.“ I assured.
« Good » you sighed. »It^s just that I want you so much. I want you so much that it’s making me crazy not to be able to have you inside of me“
When I bent down to kiss you I spotted something between the pillows.
It was Yasmin^s bottle of lube.
Must have been a sign or something.
„What about you being inside of me?“ I whispered and handed you the bottle.
You looked at it as if it would be something extremely precious, than back to me „ Are you sure?“
„Yes. I want you, too, Roger, and if it^s not possible the way it used to be, then we have to find another way, right?“ And I turned on all fours for the very first time în my entire life,waiting for you to prepare me.
« Nick » you said quietly. « Lay on your back. I will ride you, so you can set the pace, ok ? »
And there I was, on my back, a virgin in the 40^s. How thrilling.
I watched you kneeling between my legs and tried to calm my racing heart down.
You were so gentle, so sweet, giving me time to adjust after every single little step. Your fingertip only at first, circling my entrance. Your other hand stroked my cock up and down.All slow, careful and soft.
When your finger finally pushed into me it didn^t hurt, not even when a second one joined. You found my sweet spot at the first try,and bloody hell, it was so so good ! I would never have imagined that. To my very own surprise I was literally begging for your cock, eager to feel more of you.
Oh well, fingers and cocks are not compareable, really not, and the pain was immense, even if you did your very best to be still careful and slow.
As I said, you are pretty well-built indeed and it felt like you would rip me apart.
You wanted to pull out, terrified by the thought of hurting me, but I stopped you.
« No.Don^t . Hold still for a moment, please » I gasped. You bent down and we kissed tenderly « You are so tight, Nick, i will never fit into you » you whispered.
« You will. I want you to fullfill me completely.I want to share this feeling with you, the feeling you told Yas and Si about.Fuck me, Roger. Please. Now ! »
Once I got used to the intrusion, the pain turned into pleasure and I grabbed your hips, forcing you deeper. It was still strange and it was defininetly something I won^t do very often, but to have you inside of me was overwhelming from the thought of it alone. I don^t know how to explain this.
We came almost simultaneous and you collapsed onto me, panting , all sweaty and utterly sexy as your big brown eyes fixed at me and you cupped my cheeks with your hands. „ Thank you. Thank you for trusting me that much.“
I flung my legs around you to hold you inside of me for a little longer and stroked the sweaty hair out of your lovely face.
„Wow, Roger, that was…uh…I don^t know. Intense. Very intense.I..“ the tears started to flow and there was nothing I could do about it.You, being the caring person you are, held my shivering body in your arms, absolutely shocked. „ Oh Nick, did I hurt you that much? I^m sorry`Oh god, i^m sorry`“
„It^s …it’s not that. I^m just…“I stammered helplessly.
„Ssssh, it^s ok, i know. I know.“
We emptied two more bottles of champagner that night, talking until sunrise.
You are not only my lover, Roger, or my sub. You are my other half. Without you, I would be incomplete. I was incomplete before I met you.
Once the sun was up, we went to the beach to swim together and when we finally crawled into bed, salty , drunken and tired, we made love again. The usual way, but all slow and careful and soft.

„When did you find out?“ you asked, out of the blue, and I took the book I was reading aside.
„ About what?“
„ That you’re gay.“
It was early afternoon and we just got out of bed an hour ago.
„Hm. I was 14. 15 maybe. I just went to my mom and told her * you know what?I don^t think I^m interested in girls*“ I chuckled , as I saw moms face before me as if it was yesterday.
„What did she say?“ you wondered.
„ She asked if it^s John“ I laughed.
„Oh. And? Was it John?“ you grinned.
„ Roger! Please! John! John is like a brother for me. Never ever would I ….oh…wait…we kissed. Once.“ I remembered.
„How can you kiss John? Using a stepladder?“ you giggled.
„Har har! He was lying in bed beside me, actually. You know, coming out to John was harder than to my family. We had shared a bed so often and we grew up together an we were the closest friends,I was so scared that he^d push me away when I^d tell him“
„What happened?“ you wanted to know.
„Well, that night he slept at my place, like so many times before. Once the lights had been switched of I blurted it out. Nigel, i^m gay. Just like that. And he switched the light on again, searching for the really thick glasses he used to wear back then and looked down at me.I thought I^d die. I know, he said.I was wondering when you^d tell me.Then he asked if i had ever kissed a boy, and i said no, How do you know then, that you like boys? I dunno, I answered, I just know. I understand, he said, I have never kissed a girl and I know that I like girls. But I^m your best friend, and if you want, you can kiss me. Only to find out what it^s like. And so we kissed. It was like kissing my brother and I felt utterly ashamed, really. What about you?“ I let my fingers run through your hair, inhaling the scent of the shampoo.
« Oh. I was ..15, yeah. And there was this boy in the soccer team, our captain. I caught myself staring at him when we were under the shower together. Quite embarrassing, I tell you, with all the other boys around. He had a girlfriend and funny enough he saw me talking to her. I wanted to find out what he’s like, so i asked her about him, and he thought I was flirting with her. He and some of his friends caught me after school, dragged me into the forrest, tied me to a tree and beat me with twigs. Funny, huh?“
„ You are kidding me!“ I nearly fell from the sofa, so hard I had to laugh.
„No joke, I swear“ you grinned.
„So you discovered that you are gay and that you^re masochistic, all at once?“ I chuckled.
„Nah, not really. You have to know, we used to play cops and robbers when we were younger, and I have always been the one who got caught first and tied to a tree. I wanted it that way. There was nothing sexual back then, of course. It was just that…I hated everything about their bloody competitions. Everything was a competition. Who is better in school? Who ist the better soccer player? Who is the fastest runner?Everyone wanted to be better than the other, even when we were playing. And I realized that I was different. I never cared about being better. I did things because I liked to do them. And I did them as good as I could because I wanted to show myself that I can do it, not to be better than others. Does that make sense?“ you wondered.
„ Yeah, I understand. That^s you. But why the tree?“
„Because once I was tied to the tree, I was out of the bloody competitions. I could stand there, thinking about important things,and no one would bother me. It was peaceful and quiet and I could be for myself.“
„Until the day your crush tied you up and beat you“ I assumed.
« Let^s say that was…interesting. And scary. I tried to deny that I liked it for years.“
„Understandable. I did the same.Thought that being gay was hard enough, I didn^t need any more complications“ I agreed.
„How did you find out about that? Was there an inital event or something ? »
„It was one of those epic movies about the romans, with all the half naked slaves, I admit. Spartacus was my very own porn back then, especially when it came to those chains and the whippings“
Now it was your turn to break out in laughter, and once again I tossed a pillow at you.
„Spartacus! Oh Nick, this is so very cliche“ you howled.
„Yeah, so what? What^s bad about tanned,sweaty, muskled half naked men being whipped, huh? Beside the fact that I felt like I^d go straight into jail for the thought of it alone.“I chuckled.
„Oh yes. Tell me about. I thought they^d lock me in a psychiatric ward if they^d find out. » You reached for my hand. « When did you finally allow yourself to be what you are ? »
« When I met Michael.He was my teacher for everything SM .I^ve met him in a club, at my very first visit.We ended up at the bar, talking, and he invited me to join a session the next day.His sub was an italian guy namend Antonio, and he was much more into the D/s-part then into pain, what really fascinated me. Yet alone the expression in his face, and I knew that this was exactly what I ever wanted. I didn^t know how hard it would be to find someone, though. The first real relationship with SM involved didn^t last very long, half a year or something. He wanted more than I could give, I think. As you know, I always thought that I had to keep some distance, and I never opened myself up to someone. And you? What^s your story?“
„i tried to meet someone in gay SM- clubs, about 15 years ago, when I finally found my guts. But it was all the way frustrating.All the hardcore leather guys,that was not what I was in it for. I answered to a contact ad in a gay mag one day. I can^t remember the text, but it said something about *do you want to give yourself over to the pain*- blah blah… so I called him.
We talked for an hour on the phone and I felt really good about him. Even more when I met him in person, in a hotel bar. He was very attractive, a business man in a well fittet suit, very confident but not arrogant. I fell for him at first sight. After we had some small talk he handed me the key to his hotel room and said * Go. Get naked, lay on the bed and wait* and I did so. Never before in my entire life have I been so excited. He let me wait for what felt like an eternity, which was extremely thrilling. And then he entered the room, not saying a single word, took his leather belt out and spanked me.I was in heaven. Finally he pulled his pants down, grabbing his cock and i thought he^d fuck me or something, but he jerked off, spilling all over me. Then he said * Thank you,* sent me into the shower and that was it. We met for about three months, once in a week, and it was always the same. No touching, no talking, just * thank you* and after a while that was not enough for me. I told him that I wanted more, that I wanted him to touch me, that I wanted to touch him. He ended it. End of the story. I tried to skip the SM-part and had a relationship with all the touching and fucking and whatever else I had missed, but well, then I missed the other part. And when I tried to tell him about that, he left. End of the story again. Yet again I answered to an ad and became the second sub of..“
„ The second?“ I interupted. „How^s that?“
„Well, the ad was very clear about that. It said that the Dom wasn’t interested in sex, only in watching, and he was looking for someone for his sub. So I thought that maybe in this constellation I could have both. Not quite the way I wanted it, but still…“
„Oh my, Roger!“ I pulled you close and kissed you deeply. „ If i only would have met you earlier. That^s so sad ! »
« Oh, it was ok for a while, I really liked them both. We lived together for almost two years and it ended in a good way. For once it was me who ended it. I liked them, but I never loved them, and that was simply not enough.End of another story. There have been 2 others, but it never worked out, then there was Allan. You know that story“
„And now you are here“ I locked my eyes with your’s.
„Yeah, now I^m here. And that is so much more then I ever would have thought“ you smiled and my heart melted.
„You know what? I will never ever let you go, Roger.“
„ I don^t want to go anywhere, not without you“

I couldn^t sleep that night, thinking about your story, my own and the ones of all the others , all the people who would never find something like that what we have.
The ones who will always miss a part of themselves. Because they are denying it, because they couldn^t find someone to live it out with, because they are afraid of going to jail or a psychiatric ward for what they feel.
Yet again I watched you sleeping. You lay on your stomach, head resting on your forearm, and in the pale moonlight shining through the window you looked unreal. Too good to be true. I smiled to myself and let a hand running down your spine to your buttocks. You had kicked the blanket away and were all exposed.
My hand rested at the very end of your spine, enjoying the radiating heat of your skin. What if? What if we would have met earlier?What if I^d been in one of those clubs you visited 15 years ago? If I would have placed an ad instead of chasing after someone suitable every weekend?
I bent down to kiss your soft neck, and I swear that you smiled in your sleep.
For a moment I thought about waking you up, just to look in your warm chocolate eyes.
Sentimental pink jellybean mode at it^s very best.
I got up instead, brewed me some coffee and sat in the fabulous rattan sofa, lighting a cigarette.
We^d definetely have to clean those pillows, I thought, breaking out in laughter.
So, what if ?
It wouldn^t have worked out, that^s it.
Me thinking that there^s distance needed, you thinking that you can^t have both. My distance would have proved that yet again and we would be history by now, another ended story.
We needed all those unpleasant experiences, I guess. We needed them to realize what we wanted, and, more important, what we didn^t want.
If someone would have told me 10 years ago that the man who is wearing my collar would fuck me, I think I^d have sent him into the psychiatric ward.
If someone would have told me that I^d cry, just out of the pure happiness to see the man I love joking around with my godchildren or even that my mom would introduce this man as her son-in-law… ten years ago that was something far beyond imagination.
*What if^s *are crap.
All you need is now.
Doesn^t that sound like one of Simon^s lyrics?

„Nicky“ you purred into my ear when you embraced me from behind. „ Nicky, you are a very open person and you are eager to explore unknown territory, aren^t you ? »
« Roger, don^t you think that I have explored enough unknown territory when you almost ripped me apart ? » I laughed. And you chuckled against my neck.
« Nick Rhodes, you are one oversexed beast, you know ? I^m talking about snorkeling here. Come with me. You can swim well enough now. It^s beautiful. You^ll like it.“
„Excuse me, drummer boy, did you just call me an oversexed beast?“ I reached for the back of your neck, biting slightly.
„See! You are! Come with me, Nick, please. I want to share this with you.“
This is Roger Taylor, the man I love. The man who made me ride a rollercoaster. The man who made me step on a boat. The man who fucked me. And the one who made me look like a frog from space with those rediculous snorkling gear.
It was so much fun, though, you had been right. We even spotted a manta ray and some dolphins and completly forgot about the fact that sunscreen would be needed in the water, so I got my very first sunburn.
It was all worth it, as you took very good care of me in the shower afterwards.
Maybe you are right and I^m an oversexed beast. Just like you.

Later you prepared an opulent dinner and we opened a bottle of wine.
„ I was wondering…that business man you told me about…do you even know his name?“ I asked when we had finished the meal.
„No. Part of the game. No touching. No talking. No names » you counted.
„And it was always the belt he spanked you with?“
„Aye. Always. I think he needed this routine somehow. Maybe it was some kind of fetish. I don^t know“ you poured us some more wine.
« Did you come ? » I wanted to know.
„Again, no. Quite frustrating.“ You chuckled, taking a sip of merlot.
« When did it happen then, that you came for the first time from pain only ? »
„Oh. That was something absolutely overwhelming, I tell you. I had a job to do with Sonya, a catering for a wedding, and I got a text message from a very bossy green-eyed guy, telling me I should better be home at one…“ you grinned all over and I was speachless.
„I had placed a cane on his bed, together with a note, and I had to think about it the whole evening. I had no idea how he would react, since it could be taken as some topping-from-the –bottom.“ you continued. „When the message came in I was buzzing all over. The next message nearly killed me as it said * I want you to wait for me in the living room when you^re home. Naked. On your knees. Hands folded behind your neck. No light*. Thrilling, huh? Of course i did what I^d been told. And when he …when he caned me, finally, it was…well…overwhelming.I felt like flying. His voice, his touch, the pain… all melting into something whole…and it happened. I came. Just like that »
I pulled you close, covering your lovely neck with little kisses and I cried, like I did back then, and you held me, crying with me, I don^t know for how long.
Something whole, indeed.
„You know what I really would love to do now, handsome drummer? “ I whispered against your skin.
« Whatever you want, precious“
„Dance with me. We haven^t done this for ages. » My nose yet again buried in this magic spot I inhaled your unique scent.
« I^d love to dance with you. Hey, let^s put some fancy clothes on ! » you chuckled.
« Did you bring the sparkling rainbow glitter suit ? » I smiled .
« Seriously, Nick ! let^s dress up and have a date. I^ll plug in my Ipod for some music and will mix us some cocktails, yeah ? » you were all excited and looked so boyish again that I had to laugh.
« Ok then, Mister Taylor, let^s have a date. I^ll pick you up in 45 minutes. Better be ready`“
„Oh dear, first date and your already bossy“ you gave the best Saffron-eye-roll ever „Are you sure that YOU will be ready in 45 minutes? Let^s see who `s first!“
„Says the one who^s so not into competitions“ I chuckled
Giggling like teenagers we went into the house and to the bedroom, where you took some clothes out of the closet and rushed off.
Smiling to myself I put some make-up on and dressed up.
When I went into the living room, you sat on the sofa, wearing those famous leather pants, a plain white tee and a silvergrey evening jacket , smoking a cigarette.
„ 40 minutes, I^m quite impressed! » you grinned. « you are stunning, by the way »
„You too.“ I held out a hand . « Come on, handsome, let^s hit the dancefloor »
Some would say that all this was kind of childish and rediculois, but in fact it was utterly romantic.
You and me dancing under the stars, Dionne Warwick singing about a heartbreaker,followed by Lionel Richie saying hello.
Your arms around me and your head against my shoulder.
When the next song started, you whispered:“ Listen to the lyrics. I knew this song for ages, but I never had listened to the words before, until I went for a run the morning after you first caned me. Listen !“

It was *Show me heaven* by Maria Mckee.
There you go
Flashing fever
From your eyes
Hey baby come over here
And shut them tight
I^m not denyin
We^re flying above it all
Hold my hand
You^ve such
Amazing grace
I never felt this way

Oh, show me heaven
Cover me
Leave me breathless
Oh, show me heaven, babe

Here I go I^m shaking
Just like the breeze
Hey baby I need your hand
To steady me
I^m not denyin
I^m frightened as much as you
Though I^m barely touching you
I^ve shivers down my spine
And it feels devine.
If you know what^s it like
To dream a dream
Baby hold me tight
And let it be.

„I don^t like the movie and I^ve never paid much attention to this song, but that morning…it was exactly how I felt“ you said quietly
Me? I was crying. Again.
So much for dominance and control.
We skipped the * No sex at first date »-rule and when we held each other close afterwards, I chuckled : « You just shouldn^t have worn those leatherpants. I can^t behave when you wear them »
« I know » you grinned. „ Guess why I put them on“


„Helloooo??Someone home?“ a shamelessly good looking singer entered the terrace, followed by his stunning wife.
„ Hey!.So good to see you“ I happily embraced them both, kissing them warmly.
„Er..“ Si looked around „ Where is that other guy who used to be here?“
„Well, the other guy has found out that it^s possible to run around the whole island, so that^s what he^s doing now. We haven^t expect you that early. Sit down! Drinks? Roger and I will need rehab after this vacation, we used to get drunk of champagne almost every day.Oh, and he created the fabulous desert island super cocktail, you have to try it when he^s back! Now tell me, how was your week? How are the girls?“

„Champagner would be fab. Has been a great week. We have some presents for you two, Amber and Saff have found something they wanted to give to you. And you would never ever believe how much Lulah has grown in these few weeks that you haven^t seen her!“ Yassie beamed. „ Brought pics. Some food available here? I^m kinda starving!“ she stopped,looked me up and down and grinned widely. „ What^s that? Nick Rhodes having a tan? How the hell could that happen?“
„You won^t believe it, but Roger teached me how to swim and we went snorkeling almost every day.“ I chuckled.
„Snorkeling? You? Gosh!“ Simon laughed. „ What^s next? Morning runs?“
„Who knows?“ I smiled. „ I^ll go get your drinks. Yas, can you wait a little longer for some food, so that we can eat all together? Roger has something ready, I guess.“


I went for champagner and some water and we looked through the pics on Simon^s digicam when you appeared on the terrace, all sweaty and panting.
„The Lebons! Yay!“ you beamed „Ah, no…don^t hug me Si, I need a shower…ah, nevermind“
The singer pulled you into an enormous bear hug, lifting you up and placing a noisy wet kiss on your forehead.
„Roger! My hero! I never would have guessed that Nick would do that!“
„Er…and what exactly are you talking about?“ you looked at me, quite puzzled.
« Snorkeling. He is talking about snorkeling » I chuckled.
„Ah! Yeah. What else?“ you grinned. „ Would you please let me go, Si, so that can kiss your beautiful wife?“
Simon released you with a fat smile « so there is something else that Nick did what I never would have thought, hm?“
« Indeed.. He prepared dinner. Twice! Unbelieveable, huh?“ you laughed, pulling Yassie close „Hi there you angel face demon!“

„What a very nice greeting, Roger!“ she giggled and kissed you heartily.“Angel face demon! Pah! My arse!“
„Oh well, it wasn’t YOUR arse, actually!“ you laughed. „It^s so good to see you! Are you hungry?“
„Starving“ she admitted.. „Nick said there^s something ready?“
„Aye. Have to put it into the oven.20 minutes. Will you survive that ? »
« Uh. I try » once again she pulled you close « Sorry ! »
« What for ? » you smiled warmly at her.
„For stressing you.“
„Ah, Misses LeBon, you are never stressing me! I^ll go for a shower and once I^m ready the food will be, too.“
Another kiss and you went in.
„I like that“ Charlie smiled. „That it^s so easy between us. Have you ever thought, Nick, that it^s maybe…I don^t know…too much?“
„Roger worries a bit about that, I guess. But not because of you, because of the girls. You know that his brother took away his nieces from him for nearly a year when he found out about his…preferences » I explained.
« That’s something completely different ! How could we take the girls away for something we are very much involved into ? How hypocrite would that be? Talking about our daughters…they wanted me to do this….“ Si kissed me on the cheek. « And they wanted me to tell you two that they miss you heaps. »
« We miss them, too !“ I assured. „ Let^s have a weekend off all together when we^re back. Something they would like.“
„They are still talking about the Eurodisney-trip“ Yassie smiled. „ Why not going there all together?“
„Great! Let^s do this!“


„Ah! That was fantastic! Again`“ Yasmin beamed when we had finished the meal. „You guys are looking fab, by the way. Desert islands seem to do you well!“
„You have no idea!“ you chuckled. « I just needed that after the bloody tour.Will never get used to the *no privacy*-part »
„Yeah, that sucks“ Si agreed „as much as I like being on tour, being on stage.We have to keep it short, I guess, that will help. Better 2 or 3 short tours than a long one, so that we could go home in between. I don^t want to be away from the girls that long. Oh…apropos…we have something for you!“ He handed me a small package. „ It^s from Amber and Saffron“
It was a photo booklet.*Nick, Otchee and the incredible LeBon-sisters* it said on the cover, together with a picture. It showed us and the three girls, Lulah in your lab, Amber and Saff sitting beside you, me standing behind, my hands on your shoulders. All of us with cheesy smiles. It was taken at that dinner , where the girls had first met you..
„Have I ever told you that I was nervous as hell this day?“ you laughed. „ our first appearance as a couple in front of the girls and all I could think about was *aaah, Nick^s godchildren! What if they don^t like me?*“
„Well“ Simon grinned „ They don^t like you. They love you. Don^t we all?“
„Oh, I love you, too, Simon! You are the first and only man who ever fell on his knees before me.“ You chuckled and kissed him on the cheek.
„Oh? When have I done that?“ he wondered.
„After he played * save a prayer*“ I remembered and had to take your hand in mine. God, that was a million years ago!
„Yeah! Roger, please be our drummer, you said“ you explained, smiling all over by the memory.
„And i^m so glad that you are! Our drummer…and everything else!“ He slipped from the sofa, dropping down on his knees in front of you yet again and glanced up to you.
„Roger, I want to tell you…honestly, thank you! For being who you are. And I^m not saying that because of the overwhelming sexual expieriences we had and hopefully will have in future. I^m saying that because you have made the band complete. Because you are making my best friend happy and because you have been officially adopted by the LeBon-family, ok? Thank you! You never have to worry about that we^d take the girls away from you or something. I have told you in the very beginning that I would entrust their lives to you, and this hasn’t changed and will never change. I just want you to know that.“
Yasmin beside me sobbed heartbreakingly when you bent down, cupped the singer^s cheeks with your hands and said quietly: „ This is so very much appreachiated, Simon.And I^m very happy to be your drummer. And everything else.You have no clue how very happy I am »
We all got totally drunk that night, sharing memories, laughing until we cried.
Yassie and I nearly peed our pants when Charlie and you were dancing together despite the fact that both of you couldn^t even stand properly and you ended on the floor, your body over Simon^s, laughing like mad.
Shiny happy people. That tune came into my mind and I had to smile to myself.

When we finally crawled into bed, it took you less than 5 minutes to fill the room with your incredibly loud snoring.
Me, I was watching you again.
Forever, I thought. Let this be forever.

Chapter Text

I woke up with an annoying headache.Not waking you up i went on the terrace, where Yasmin was having a coffee.
„Good morning, angel face demon“ i smiled, kissing her on the cheek.
„Good morning yourself,. la diva. Our men won^t be up so soon, I guess. God, Simon wasn^t that drunk since that cocktail party of your^s“ she grinned..
„Uh, yeah, the cocktail party.That was quite a mess »
« I still have to say thank you to Carlos for saving Charlie^s reputation.I hope he isn^t as jealous as my dear husband. Some coffee, Nick ? »
« Thanks, yes. Nah. Carlos isn^t jealous. It^s. different with them, you know. Plus…we haven^t seen them for ages, at least not for playing or something.They are quite busy with the restaurant and as Sonya has told me, they can hardly find time for themselves to develop things.Carlos is still a virgin, by the way“ I winked.
„Really? And he^s been so very inspiring!“she chuckled, blushing slightly.
„ Obviously“ I took her hand. „ That was hot as hell. And because of you, Yas, I lost my virginity sooner than Carlos.“
„No way!“ she blurted.
„ I swear.“ No clue why I felt like I^d to tell her, but it was good to talk about it, so I told her the whole story.
She flung her arms around me when I was finished. Knowing me for almost 2 decades, she was well aware of how very *un-Nick-ish* that was.
„I love him so much“I whispered. And because I was all pink jelly bean again and because it was Yasmin I told her about the fear of losing you and that this would, with no doubt, kill me.
„You won^t lose him. You know that! Never in my entire life have I seen two people who are so perfectly made for each other. Despite me and Charlie, that is.“ She pulled me even closer.“fate is one funny thing, you know! When this loud, arrogant bloke called my agency the first time, I was nothing but utterly annoyed. But he just never gave up. Thank god he didn’t! Now look at us. And you two will make it, too.I know that .“
„I couldn^t agree more“ it came from the doorway, where you stood Hair in a mess, eyes still small from sleep, wearing nothing than very short shorts.
And it came from somewhere deep down inside of me with such a force that it made me shudder. I literally jumped up, was in front of you in a split second and dropped down to one knee.I took your hands…those wonderful warm. strong, maskuline hands…in mine and asked, loud and clear :
« Roger Andrew Taylor, will you marry me ? Will you officially be my handsome husband ? »
« What ? » you glanced down at me, totally puzzled, « What ? »
« Be my Roger. Be my husband. Marry me. Please.“ My voice nearly broke.
« Nick..Nick..I..Yes . I…yes.I want. I want. »Slowly you sunk down on your knees, flung your arms around me and your soft full lips touched mine, as light as a butterfly, before your warm brown eyes fixed at me and the most beautiful smile spreaded out over your face. « All yours, Mister Rhodes. By all means. »
Earth stood still when we kissed.


Was it fate again that homosexual couples where finally allowed to have at least something similar to a marriage, a so called civil partnership, just shortly after we have met? As if made for us?
When we came back from that island, we were eager to spread the news and the first thing we did was to invite our families.
Including the LeBons, of course.
A party for our friends was planned just a week later, including the LeBons, of course.
But family first.
For once Yasmin and Simon had prepared dinner, with the help of two very excited daughters.
« So » I started when everyone was seated and the champagner had been opened by an attentive waiter namend Simon. „We have something to tell you“ I took your hand in mine and we kissed shortly.
„I proposed to this wonderful man here and I^m all happy that he accepted“
„Oh my goodness!“ my mom beamed.when she embraced us both and in no time we were surounded by all family members for one giant group hug.
Our moms were ever so happy and even Steve beamed at me like never before when he pulled me close. „ Welcome to the Taylor-clan, dear brother-in-law“
„Hey, will there be two stag parties then?“ Simon wondered. „ Darn, this is complicated!“
„All in for male strippers“ Yassie grinned. „Two times“
„Oh puuuuh-leeeze“ you and Saffron said unisono, including the eye roll.
The littlest LeBonling crawled into your lab, kissed you heartily and smiled: „Rooooogerrrr! You are a bride“
„Yes, sweetie, I am! Will you be our flower girl, Lulah, yeah? I want you to be our flower girl“
„Yep yep yep“ with every *yep* she planted a wet kiss on your nose and out of the corner of my eyes I saw her father wiping away a tear from his eye.
„ I really wonder how she knows that you are the girl here….Hopefully you won^t wear a dress“ Amber grinned.
„Girl? Why the hell should I be…ah. Yeah, got it. I will never ever talk about sex with you again, Amber Lebon » and you blushed ever so beautifully. Like a virgin bride.“But still…I think i dress would just not suit me“
« So indeed not“ Amb agreed. „Hey, Gem, Jules, we should go shopping with Otchee“
„Hey, and who^s gonna go shopping with me then?“ I complained.
„You, my dearest godfather, you won^t need fashionable advises, huh ? » she winked.
« But I do ? Thank you very much , Amber Rose! I^m deeply insulted!“ you laughed.
Aren^t we lucky, Roger? To have such wonderful families who are happy for and with us?

A week later there was a very crowded private party at the *Hungry like the wolf*
Everyone was there, from Lady Violet to the Duran-management, from Madame Claire to all band families.
They were all excited about the news and Son and Carlos came out of the kitchen every five minutes to hug us.
„So, LeBon!“ Carlos stood in front of the singer, grinning all over. „ do we have to duel about who^s gonna be Roger^s best man or what ? »
Simon pulled him close and said : « You will be. You^ve been there first.“
„ Er, excuse me , gentlemen“ you interupted.“isn^t that my decision, huh? Who says there can^t be two best men? I can handle you both, you know?“
„Uh yeah“ Simon chuckled. „ We know.“ The two men sandwiched you between them for an intense hug and Sonya elbowed me „ Having a deja vu here!“she smiled.and Yassie giggled: „Great minds think alike, Son“

The dinner turned into a party and I stood at the bar, watching you dancing with Madame Claire, when John joined me.
„Hey, Nicholas James! Are you happy?“ he smiled.
« I could not be any happier, Nigel ! » I lay an arm around his waist, kissing him on the cheek.
„Do you remember when Sylvia thought we were a couple?“ he grinned. « Well, at least it^s a Taylor!“
„And even the third Taylor is having some gay fun here!“ I laughed, pointing at Andy, who had a blast with a beaming Diana in full make-up on the dancefloor.
„Yeah, he learned quite well how to deal with fuckin fagotts.Who would have guessed that? Come on, groom-to-be, let^s have a dance“
« My pleasure, Mister Taylor » and I hooked in my best friend’s arm as we went to the dancefloor.

A press release was issued by our management the next day and reporters were begging for an exclusive story, the fans were freaking out ( in a good way, mostly) and the gay community was buzzing with excitement.
The first gay celebrity couple in the UK to have a civil union.
We wouldn^t have guessed that it was such a big deal for others than us.
Planning the event was such fun and we spent many evenings with making guest lists, planning the menue and such things, often enough with Son and Carlos, Yas and Simon, John and Gela, Andy and Trace or all of them, since they were all eager to be a part of it.
Alongside the main event I was secretly planning another, much more private one with Michael, the velvet-team and the Lebons,and even if we were extremely busy the two of us found some time for another trip to Wales.
2 weeks before before the wedding ( we were always calling it wedding, because that^s what it was for us. How unromantic does *civil union* sound, huh?) we went to Eurodisney again, with all the LeBons, and yes.,roller coaster again.Three times.
We had decided to skip the stag parties since we have the same friends and it won^t make any sense to have two parties.The four best men John, Andy, Carlos and Simon were planning a eve-of-wedding-thing instead and the two of us had to laugh about Andy^s face when we kindly asked to put a little *gayness* in.
In Paris, same Hotel as last time, you snuggled against me when we finally had gone to bed.
„I really wonder what they will make out of the *gayness*-part. Hopefully no hunky strippers or something“ you chuckled. « Dressed in leather chaps, at worst »
« Yassie would be quite annoyed if not. I was at her bridal party back then, and she had three very hunky strippers. Don^t tell Simon, she went pretty wild with them“ I grinned.
„Oh, I can imagine that for some reason.Talking about going pretty wild…“you smiled mieschiveously as your hand wandered down my stomach. I caught it shortly before you reached the obvious destination, pinning both of your wrists over your head.
„My dear handsome husband, you are acting a little too bossy these days, aren^t you?“
Ties are very usable, I tell you.Always good to have at least two of them with you when traveling. So your wrists were fixed at the headboard in no time.
My turn to grin as I took the little box with the fangs out of my suitcase.
„Look what I have brought for you“ I plopped them in and ever so slowly I bent down to your neck. „ Say please , Roger“
You did. Several times. I bit you and you were biting the pillow not to scare any hotel guests to death, but even if muffled your noises were wonderful.

Yassie, Simon and the elder girls grinned knowingly when we appeared for breakfast the next day.
„Hey, Otchee, this is a very very nice scarf » Saffron chuckled « suits you so well ! »
Simon sneaked a pillow from another chair to place it exaggeratly careful at your own one before you sat down. « Just in case other body parts of your^s need some extra protection as well“ he giggled.
« Thank you so so much for caring, Simon!“ you said ironically, blushing slightly.“ So what^s on the list for today beside the* hey, let^s mock Roger*-part?“
„Aaaw, poor thing“ I smiled, giving you a hair ruffle. « I need a proper breakfast before taking any actions »
« Oh, have I been too vigorous for you, dear ? » you smirked, raising those brows.
« Watch your tongue, drummer ! » I slapped you playfully with a serviette and you shrieked * »Ouch`How extremly brutal ! » Followed by the laughters of the LeBon-family, we went to the buffet, kissing and teasing each other all the way.
Our flirty behaviour had been noticed and when we were back at the table, two men walked by and one of them blurted „Cocksucker!“
„That^s right, my dear,and I bet I^m better than your girlfriend“ you replied, very polite.“wanna give it a try?“
He went all red and for a moment it looked like he^d punch you, but then he just snorted „Bloody fuckin fagott“ and left.
„Bloody fucking idiot“ you murmured.
« Asshole ! » Saffron was all shocked. „ What an asshole!“
„Never mind, Saff.That happens every once in a while, we’re used to it“ you winked and kissed me shortly to show that you couldn^t care less.
„ Yeah, I know.He’s an asshole anyway.I can’t believe that people are still freaking out about two men kissing. I thought he^d hit you right in the face!“
„Naaah. Those people are not only fucking idiots, Saffron, they are also very cowardly. Mostly, at least. And if not…well, don^t mess up with the drummer, huh? Come on, Saff, we won^t let a dumbass idiot ruin that wonderful day! Too much attention for assholes ! »
« How can you stay that calm about it ? » Amber, who had been unusually quiet until now, asked, her voice shaky. „He just called you a cocksucker and you made fun about it! You are never yelling. You never get angry. You always act so…so darn bloody submissive » With that, she stormed out.
„What the…“ I blurted and wanted to go after her when you stopped me.
„My turn, don^t you think? I guess i know what this was about. You go to the park again, I will follow with Amber. Or not. Whatever.“
„No, Roger! We^ll go together, ok?“
„Deal“ you smiled and we left a quite puzzled part of the Lebon-family behind.
Waiting for the elevator to arrive I wanted to know.“ What do you think this is about, then?“
„Just guessing…did we close the door properly last night? Those LeBons seem to have a radar or something for open doors, and if she wanted to say good night and saw what we did…quite irritating for her, I^d say.“
That made sense. A lot of sense!
Oh my goodness.
We found her at the balcony of their suite. The door wasn^t closed properly, how extremely funny ! She was smoking a cigarrette and didn’t even notice us, so she nearly jumped when you cleared your throat, dropping her fag.
„Jesus!“ she muttered and went all pink.
„Sorry, door was open. Seems to happen a lot these days, huh?“ you started straight forward and just the look on her face told us that you^d been right.
„Do you want to talk about it?“ I asked.
« I don^t think so » she mumbled, staring at her feet.
„Fine, Amber. Your choice. But then stop to offend me, will you? « you said quietly.
« I didn^t want to offend you »she sighed, swallowing visibly « It^s just that …I don^t understand. What you are doing. What it^s all about.“
„See, and that^s why Nick asked you if you want to talk. Maybe we can explain it.“ you said softly.
« I^m sorry, Roger. I really didn^t want ..I …I wanted to bring that book back Nick has borrowed me and…“
„The door was open“ I ended the sentence.“Which was my fault and I apologize to both of you for bringing you into that situation“
„That^s kinda cute“ Amber chuckled and finally looked at us.“ I should have left when I noticed…so it^s my fault, as well. This is embarrassing, though.“
„Uh, yeah, it is“ you agreed, offering her a cigarrette.
« You know…when you have talked to the press back then, I read a lot about those things, as I have told you, Nick,but….“
„Reading is one thing, seeing things is another“ I nodded in understanding.
She inhaled deeply „ Yeah., it really is“
„Amber, may I ask you something?“ you fixed at her and she went all pink again under your gaze. „ You said you should have left. So, why haven^t you?“
„Because…oh god…because…I was curious.“ She took another deep breath „Ok, let^s be honest here. I have a crush on you, Roger. And I…er…I was curious about what you look like…naked“
« Oh. Amber ! » you laughed, blushing just like her, and pulled her close.“What a compliment for an old man“
„You are not old! Would you…can you explain… why do you like it, this way? I want to understand.“
„The truth is, Amber, I have no clue why I feel like this.. I was searching for answers for years, but now I just don^t care any more. I like that. Period. And I have finally found someone to share those things with, this is all that matters. Thanks for being so honest, Amber Rose, I really appreachiate that, but for further explainations you have to ask your godfather, ok? I^ll leave you two here.“ After you had kissed me shortly on the cheek, you left.
„Is he mad at me now?“ she asked quietly.
« No, Amber, he surely isn’t mad at you. But has it ever crossed your mind that for him it’s even more embarrassing than for you ? You have been impressivly brave, Amb, telling him about your crush. But what should he do now , with the knowledge ? Talking about his sexual preferences with you ? «
I lay an arm around her shoulder.
„Well, thanks for not telling him about it earlier. About the crush“ She leaned at the balcony wall, crossed her arms and asked. „Fangs, Nick? Really?“¨
Amber and me skipped the park visit that day, as you know.
Let^s say she had a lot of questions.
We had moved to the hotel bar when you came back. Saffron was very mad at Amber and she rushed off to the suite without a word, taking Lulah with her.
Amb glanced coyly at you and asked quietly: „ Are we still friends?“
„ Of course we are! I was only…surprised. OK? You are one great girl, Amber Rose. I^m proud to be your friend »
« Sorry again. You are not acting so darn submissive,.That was mean »
« Sometimes I do » you winked and she giggled.

After she had followed her sisters, Simon asked. „So, what was this about?“
„ You won^t believe it…we left the door open the other night!“ you sighed.
„Oh, did we miss an invitation?“ he chuckled before it hit his mind „ Oh bloody fuck! Amber came in?“
„Oh Jesus“ Yasmin shouted. And, more quiet, she wanted to know „ What did she see?“
„A tied up Roger and a godfather with fangs“ I said. „ but I^m very glad to tell you that she missed the *how my godfather spanked Roger with a belt and he came all over himself*-part.“
„Oh thank goodness!“ you blurted. „ I had to leave after …you know“
„After what?“ Simon wanted to know, his intense blue eyes fixed at your^s.
„After she told me that she has a crush on me and wanted to see me naked“ your voice was barely above a whisper.
There was an unbearable silence for a moment. And then the Lebons broke out in hysterical laughter.
„I don^t think this is funny“ you snapped.
„Well, undenyable she^s our daughter, isn^t she?“ Simon was wiping the tears from his eyes.
„Roger, it^s all fine, we talked it over for hours and she is, as you said, really one great girl. The only thing we have to be extremely careful about in future is to securely lock those doors, yeah ? » I pulled you close « I^m sorry about that »
« No sex, never ever, when one of the girls is around, Nick! God, you have no clue what it feels like when a 17years old looks you in the eyes and tells you oh, I have a crush on you and I wanted to see you naked . I was nearly dying by the thought of what she could have seen“
„Let me assure you, a 17 year old who has internet access has propably seen a lot of things one shouldn^t have seen by that age» Yassie soothed.
« That doesn^t mean she has to see me ! Live and in action. »
« As I told you, she missed the best part. A drink ? » I smiled.
« Whisky. Triple shot » you blurted and we all had to laugh.
„Ah, does anyone know a domina called Lady Heather? Must be a character in some US-TV-series“ I asked when we all had drinks.
„You don^t know Lady Heather? She^s in CSI Las Vegas.“ You explained „Why do you ask?“
« Because » Yassie chuckled « my eldest and I are huge fans of Lady Heather. Amber surely has talked about that“
„Yeah, she has. She called me the male version of Lady Heather“ I grinned.
„ Really? That^s good, I^d say“ you finally smiled „ because if Lady Heather would be real and I would be hetero, we^d propably be happily married. But she isn^t real and I^m gay, so I^ll marry you instead. Under the condition that you promise me to keep doors shut and locked » Glancing at Yas and Si, you added ; « at least if any of the Lebon-sisters are around. The parents are welcome. Occasional“

„For fuck^s sake, Nicholas, hold still ! » Darren was cutting my hair and since I was incredibly nervous I couldn^t stop to check my mobile every 3 seconds.
„We have two hours before the party starts, plenty of time! Here, more champagne. »
I was slightly drunk already, buzzing with excitement.
And it was only the eve-of-wedding-party.
I hadn^t seen you for the last three days, because our beloved best men thought it would be a brilliant idea to have us seperated before the event.
„To wait increases the desire, so no sex before marriage“ Simon said as he took your arm and dragged you out of our home.
And he had been right. Just the thought of seeing you again after that short time was killing me right now.
That was rediculous somehow, as we had been seperated for longer before, but mixed with the overwhelming nervousness about the wedding and all I was a shaky mess.
„Have you been at the LeBon^s yet?“ I asked, turning my head yet again.
„ NICK! You don^t wanna marry as a one-eared man, do you?“ Darren put the scissor down and slapped my head.
« Sorry » I muttered « So, have you ? »
„Yeah, been there`“ he grinned, well knowing what this question really was about.
„And?“ I fixed at him , raising my brows.
„Oh well, nice house! Nice people. Tallulah is so cute, isn^t she? And I^m utterly in love with Yas..“
„DARREN!“ I interupted, all annoyed.
„Whaaa-haaaat?“ He smiled innocently.
„How^s Roger?“
„Roger? What Roger?“ he giggled „ Oh, ROGER! This guy staying at the Lebon^s, saying the only good thing about that is that he can hang around in sweatpants all day?“
I couldn^t help but laughing.
« He^s fine ! » Darren assured. « Nervous like you, but fine. And let me tell you that he^ll look absolutely fab tonight ! Would you now concentrate on sitting still, so that you two will make the most handsome couple today, yeah ? »
« Yessir » I saluted.
« Oh, would you repeat that when I^m in Diana-mode, please ? Will be Yesmaam, though ! »

Amber laughed out loud when I appeared in the living room. « Faaaaaab ! I love it, I love it ! »
« That^s the *gayness*-part, I assume » I grinned.
« Roger nearly died laughing when he dressed up. You guys are so so soooo great!“ she kissed me noisily „Muuuuah“
„You are looking great yourself“ I chuckled.
Somehow Simon had found out about the sparkling rainbow glitter suit, and so that^s what I was wearing now and that^s what you^d wear, as Amber had told me.
She was dressed in a pink sparkling mini dress with a unicorn print.
„Thank you so so much that I^m allowed to come with you! I^m so excited!“ she beamed. „Now I have to do something, because you should not see where we are going!“ With an evil grin she took a silk blindfold out of her bag.
„How very thrilling“ I laughed and let her put it on.
„Ready?“ John asked and the two escorted me into the car.
Applause and cheering welcomed me when I was guided through a door into the unknown venue and I smiled widely as two well known hands took mine.
„Hello there“ I whispered and my lips searched for your^s. The applause became even louder and you chuckled against my shoulder: „Did they blindfold you as well?“
„Yep, not seeing a wee bit here.Where are we?“
„No clue“
„Good evening, gentlemen!“ a familiar female voice spoke up beside us. »Someone told me that you are planning to tie yourself to each other…I propably can help with that ! Would you please take off your jackets ! »
I felt your warm breath against my neck as you laughed quietly « At least now we know were we are ! »
The audience was all quiet and Lady Violet literally tied us together, your body so nicely pressed against mine.
« Best men, I need you all » the Lady commanded and I gasped when we finally hung horizontally in the air.
Someone removed our blindfolds and I was staring up at you. „Wow, feels like flying“ I wished I could touch you now, but my arms were tied flat against my sides, just like your^s. We were able to kiss, though, and we did, until Simon and John decided to play spintop with us and we laughed like mad while we circled faster and faster.
„This is way better than a rollercoaster ride!“ I called.
„Just imagine what it would feel like if we^d be naked“ you whispered
Dizzy and happy we were on firm ground again after a few minutes and I hugged Vi
„That was magnificent, thank you so much!“
Holding hands, we wandered from one guest to another to greet them all.
They were all sparkling and glittering, dressed in bright colours and a lot of rainbows and unicorns could be seen.
A few drag queens were around and we couldn^t believe that one of them was actually Michael.
You were beaming all over as you hugged everyone and Sonya and you even cried with happiness when you held each other as close as possible.
I left you two alone and joined Amber and Diana. „ Ladies`!“ I bowed. „So, Amber Rose, how^s your very first gay party in an SM-club, huh?“
„It doesn^t look like an SM-club!“ she said, somehow dissapointed.
„Oh dear`What have you expected? We have to keep it clean with all those vanillas around“Diana laughed.
„Vanillas?“ she chuckled.
„People who are not into it, we call them vanillas“ the transvestite explained.
„Ah, ok. What^s your part then, dom or sub?“
« Your godchildren are well informed , aren^t they?“ Di chuckled.
„More than they should be“ I sighed and Amb giggled : „ Learn to close a door properly!“
„How about you learning to respect someone^s privacy, huh ? Diana is dom, by the way, but Darran isn^t » I answered her question.
« A switcher then and Diana is the evil part.“she assumed.
« Exactly, young lady. But today it^s just an outfit for the party, so I^m not a bit evil »
« Don^t believe a single word ! » Jared, who came over with a tablett full of champagner glasses , laughed and kissed the Lady. « Drinks, anyone ? »
Amber nearly spilled her^s when Dylan appeared in his vampire outfit, including the fangs « Ack! I really really hope those are for decoration only!“ she blurted as she went all pink like her dress.
„Don^t panic, Rosie, as Diana said, we^ll keep it clean today ! « I grinned and pulled her close.
„Don^t call me Rosie, James!“

My, what a party it was ! Everyone was having fun and all those so very different people matched so well together!
„Ladies and gentleman, please leave the dancefloor!“ Mona could be heard through the speakers.
Our best men entered the dancefloor once it was empty, all dressed in black suits, hats and sunglasses.
„Did someone ask for male strippers?“ Simon shouted.
„That was meeee!“ Yassie cheered and hell broke lose as Joe Cocker allowed to leave the hat on.
You were nearly howling from laughter and I have to admit that I couldn^t take my eyes off of you. That lovely full Roger-laugh with the tears and the wrinkles and all, you know…
„Ooooh! Tassles!How sexy!“ you gasped, breathless from laughing.
Our four friends had stripped down to sparkling pink spandex shorts and silver tassled nipple covers and the audience was going mad.
„Nipples! We wanna see nipples! « Sonya shouted
« Shorts down, shorts down ! » Diana, Michael and Yassie chanted.
« The grooms-to-be are kindly invited to take off all the glitter stuff » Andy announced.
Grinning all over we went in front of them.
„OK, tassles first.“you started with Simon.
« Taa-daaa » with one swift move you pulled them off and Si jumped « Ouch, that bloody hurts ! »
« Oh really ?Don^t be such a whiner, Charlie ! »you chuckled
I removed Andy^s and he didn^t even wince.
„See, Simon! Ha¨“ he smiled triumphantly.
„He^s a Taylor! « you winked as you went to the remaining Taylor.
« Be gentle » John chuckled .
Once all nipples were exposed we pulled the shorts down, one after one, and the jewels were…of course…imediately covered by the hats.
Under the cheering of the audience the four left ,carefully avoiding to show their naked asses.

Have I mentioned before that it was a great party?
Diana and Michael, who called himself Mimi as the drag queen he was for once, performed a hilarious Travestie-show, having us all nearly dying from laughters
Long after midnight we were on the dancefloor, dancing to something very slow, and we couldn’t stop kissing and touching and smiling at each other.
„Last chance for an extramarital sin.“ I whispered and you chuckled against my skin.
« The guards won^t let us,For some reason they are very much into that * no sex before marriage *-shit. »
« You think they^d follow us to the restrooms ? » I murmured, grinding my hips against yours.
« Nicholas ! Sex in a restroom stall ? That is so cliche!“ you giggled
„I thought you overcame your cliche-phobia long time ago“ I grinned. » And certain body party of your^s seem to like the idea, if that^s not a torch what is so nicely rubbing against my tigh here »
« Me first, see you in five ! » With the most innocent smile you turned and went for the restrooms.
Trying to keep a straight face, I walked to the bar, changed a few words with Mona and Dylan and finally I followed you, acting as natural as possible.
A widely grinning Carlos leaned against the restroom door, arms crossed.
„Access denied“
„What? Should I pee my pants or what?“ I blurted.
« I^m sure it won^t kill you to wait a minute. It^s occupied anyway »
«There^s more than one stall, isn^t it?“ I rolled my eyes.
„Oh yeah, right. You know what? I^m coming with you!“ With a bow he opened the door „ After you, sir.“
You stood at the sink, washing your hands and grinned overenthusiasticly at our friend.
„Carlos! What a great party, huh?“
„Roger! What a complete unobstrusive plan!“ the puerto- rican beamed.
« Plan ? « you wondered but had to chuckle.
« You know, those gays, it^s really disgusting , they are fucking and giving blow jobs to each other in public toilets ! Eeew.Can you imagine that ? » he smirked..
« Carlos ! Please ! This is Nick la diva Rhodes ! As if this precious classy man would ever do such things ! »you laughed.
„ Naaaaah“ I assured and had to laugh myself.
„You guys can^t betray me. No sex before marriage. Period. Wait until tomorrow night, you greedy creatures ! » he was merciless.
« I hate you, Carlos ! » you blurted , took my hand and stormed out, me in tow.
„I can^t believe they are doing this! Mona, Tequila!“ you ordered at the bar.
„You could at least say please!“ Mona laughed, well knowing about the *no-sex*-plan.
„Sorry! Dearest Mona, you beautiful thing, would you puh-leeese give my precious fiancee and me a Tequila-shot?“
« Of course, my darling ! » she giggled and handed us two glasses. Pointing at the salt cellar and a plate with lemon slices she said :. « Help yourself »
It was early morning when we went home. Well, I went home, you went to the LeBons again.
As soon as I was in bed I called your mobile and you answered the phone at the first *toot*.
„Do you think the no-sex rule includes phone sex?“ I asked. « Because I really really want to hear you coming ! »
I heard you. You heard me.
One night before the wedding we shared another *first ttime*


„Oooooh!“ Amber bounced. „that^s …oh, Nick, you look gorgeous!“ she literally jumped at me, and I heard mom sniffling.
„Is it that bad?“ I winked at my crying mother.
Dad patted me on the back. « She just thought she^d never see this. You being a groom.“
John unfolded his long legs and stood up to embrace me. „Me neither“ he said quietly and his eyes darted into mine.“I^m so very happy for you, my brother!“
Andy took off his shades and we ended into a group hug at it^s best.

Saffron stormed in „ They just drove off“ she gasped breathlessly and all of a sudden it hit me like a hammer and my knees got weak. I was going to marry you! You! The handsome stranger in the tube with the bad fuck-habits. The obsessive drummer who isn^t afraid to bang his kit until his hands are bleeding.The best smelling man in the entire world. The man who is so sweet and charming and sexy and devoted and so bloody honest…My Roger would be officially my Roger.
„…god“ I muttered, sinking down at the sofa.
„What^s the matter, son? Last minute doubts?“Dad grinned.
„Hell, no! It^s just… I can^t believe it.I can¨t believe that this is really happening“
„ It is!“ Saff smiled „ I told you he^s the sweetest guy ever! And you gonna marry him. Isn^t that just utterly heartbreakingly romantic ? And he looks so so soooo handsome today!“
„Saffron Sahara, you are making me cry! » i chuckled, pulling her close.
« And let^s not forget about the incredibly hot-part, yeah ? » Amber grinned and went for the whisky, pouring me a good amount.
« Hey. Evil vampire guy ! Sort yourself out ! You won^t ruin your make-up. Huh ? » she winked.
« No, Lady Heather, of course not ! »
Finally we entered the limo which was waiting in front of the house to drive us to the Savoy. Same place were my parents had celebrated their famous wedding anniversary.
„My son-in-law will be my son-in law“ Mom smiled at me, holding my hand.
There. I cried. I had to.. Smeared mascara can be fixed.
Our friends had insisted that they would take care of everything, so decoration and all would be a surprise, and I was nervous as hell, because I hated to give away control, but it was overwhelmingly beautiful!
In the hallway to the ballroom they had set up black and white photos of us on each side, starting with baby Roger and baby Nick, ending with recent pics which showed us together in various situations and yet alone watching them nearly made me cry again.
You and me in the studio, smiling at each other.
You and me at the LeBon^s , surounded by the girls.
You and me dancing at my parent^s anniversary.
You and me tied together.
And, as the only coloured photo, you and me in those rediculous sparkling rainbow glitter suits between all the fancy people.
Saffron rushed past me and disappeared into the ballroom, to announce our arrival, as I thought.
God, for how many hours we had discussed how we^d start with the ceremony? Who would guide us to the registrar ? Our dads ? Our moms?Would we go together or one after one and who would be first ?
But after even Lulah has called you the bride, we^d act like you^d be the bride. Which means, I^d be first and would wait for you like a proper traditional groom would do.
I knew you were somewhere upstairs right now, in a suite maybe, with Simon and Yas,Carlos and Son, your parents and Lulah.
Gela and Tracy joined us outside the ballroom and mom and dad took me between them, hooking in.
„Are you ready?“ John asked quietly.
I nodded in silence, unable to say a word.
He poked his head into the room, giving some sign and the music started. Who would have thought that James Blunt would be played at my wedding?
John and Andy took their wive’s hands and me, I took a deep breath, as we started to enter the ballroom.
Everyone was standing and applauded, and I had to smile widely when I noticed that the registrar was no one else than Madame Claire herself.
John and Gela, followed by Andy and Trace, then me, framed by my parents, so we made our way down the aisle.
„It is time to face the truth,I will never be with you“ James Blunt, that liar, ended and the women sat down in the front row, only my mother kept standing together with Ands, JT and dad.
And me, of course.
I had no idea what song you had chosen to come in and it nearly killed me when the so so familiar tune started.
Save a prayer.
The door opened and I forgot to breathe.
Lulah with her flower basket, so cute in her fluffy apricot dress, eyes as blue as her father^s. Ever so dignified the tiny girl made her way down the aisle and it seemed like she just had forgotten to spill her flowers. She stood finally in front of me, smiling all over. „ Nick. Flowers for you!“ she squieked and planted little blossoms carefully all around me. Stifling a laugh I bent down to kiss her and she rushed back again. Simon tried to catch her, but failed, so he and Yas continued their way, chuckling quietly
Laughters from the door could be heard, something like a short discussion, then Son and Carlos appeared, trying unsuccsessfully to keep a straight face.
And what came next made my tears flow again.
You. In a stunning white suit, framed by your parents. And a so happy little LeBonling on your shoulders who covered your hair with little white blossoms.
You didn^t even try to hold back that wonderful little mixed-with-tears-laugh and the whole scene was so you, so purely you, that it made my heart jolt before it ultimately melted.
Simon had quite a fight with his youngest as he took her away from you when you had approached us.
« He, sweetie.Lulahlaa, I have something very important to do now, please stay with your mom, yeah ? » you soothed her quietly.
« I know ! » she said, very loud « you are a bride. You don^t have a dress like a bride But now you have flowers in your hair, and that^s cuuuutel ! » One of her wet noisy kisses landed on your nose.
Now everyone had to laugh and Simon smiled warmly at her when he chuckled : « Yes, Tallulah, it’s very cute ! How about some blossoms for mom^s hair as well, huh ? »
« ooooh-keeeeee » she jumped in Yassies lab and made her cute, too.
„So“ Claire started, still smiling. „Who is giving the ying to his yang here?“
„That`s me, his mother“ Jean lay your right hand in my left. „ And me, his father“ Hughie did the same, left hand in my righ,.and they embraced my parents and me before all of them sat down.
„And who is here to witness?“
„Simon John Charles Lebon“
„Carlos Armando Rodriguez“
« Nigel John Taylor »
« Andrew Taylor »
Still standing beside us, they all looked so serious now, so elegant,that I had to swallow hard.
„My name is Claire Weatherby and I^m very happy to be your registrar today. Not only do I know you guys pretty well, especially the one with the cute flower blossoms in his hair, also is this my first civil union since the law is in force. Now that for once I have called it what the goverment wants it to be called, I will name it as what it is for you, Nick and Roger, for your families and friends and what it should be for everyone. A wedding. Two people who are in love with each other want to make it official, want to say yes to each other. That is what counts. Would the gentlemen please sit down now ? »
The best men stepped back to sat beside their women, and you and me took our seats on the small bench in front of Claire, never letting go of each other^s hand.
„We will now listen to what four terrific young ladies have to tell us“ Claire smiled.
Your grip tightened almost painfully around my hand when Amber, Julie, Gemma and Saffron entered the small stage .
Julie, the youngest, took the mic and inhaled deeply. „Hi“ she squieked, obviosly nervous as hell. « We are the girl^s night sleep-over club. » She handed the mic to Saffron. „We spent a lot of time together during the last months, watching movies and listening to music“
Amber continued: „ And we realized that there is not a single Hollywood movie around where the prince would have his prince in the end“
„Or a rich business man falls in love with a pretty callboy“ Gemma grinned.
When she had the mic back, Julie sighed. „ Oh well, we still have the Brokeback Mountain“
„Oh, puuuh-leeeze!“ Saffron^s eye-roll made us laugh. „one dead and the other one whining into a bloody old shirt, that^s not what I^d call romantic`“
„But you know what? Sometimes real life is even better than a Hollywood movie!“ Amber winked at us.
„Once upon a time, it was a grey and rainy day in London, our uncle Roger was on his way to work. Sitting in the tube, his mood was not the very best because he couldn^t figure how the heck one can bake a proper meringue.“ Gemma chuckled.
„It was just then when a blonde green-eyed guy sat beside him. The name of that guy was Nick, but of course our uncle didn^t know that back then“Julie explained.
„And Nick, I tell you, wasn^t in such a good mood either, because he simply hated the fact that he had to take the tube, and,oh goodness, his hair was in a mess and his eyeliner was smeared!“ Saff rolled her eyes dramatically again and everyone was laughing. I felt he rumble in your chest as you tried not to, but you failed badly.
They continued with the well known story, having us and the guests laughing several times,until Juie finished: „ And so today we are here at their wedding and they will live happily ever after, That^s the point where those movies end“

„But…what would we call the movie then?Since they are no princes…“
„No businessmen..“
„No callboys…“
„And not even cowboys.What is the coolest. most important thing they are ? »
« Oh, I know ! » Saffron beamed and the girls stepped aside as Yasmin and Steve appeared and unrolled a very large poster between them.
It showed us with the girls. Me with baby Amber and baby Saffron at their christian feast, you with baby Julie and baby Gemma at their^s and the girls shouted:
„ The world^s most amazing godfathers`“

A very touched Simon with very wet blue eyes had to hand the grooms some tissues.
The same Simon entered the stage now and he had to clear his throat before he started:
„I^m one lucky man. Not only do I have the greatest woman of all by my side and the most wonderful daughters one can think of, no. Not long ago I^ve met someone who taught me quite a lot of things about life. From the beginning on I knew that something about that person was very special, but I could^nt figure it out. Was it the fact that he was the first drummer who understood the dynamic of that song you all have heard when he walked in so very well that it made me cry ? Or the pure joyful love my youngest daughter is feeling for him from the first moment they met ?Is it that my wife for some reason likes to watch him playing billard?Or maybe it^s that he managed to talk my very dear friend Nick into a boat trip, something I^d been trying for more than 20 years? Or made him ride a rollercoaster at Eurodisney?It^s none of that. It^s quite simple, but most people are failing with it, because, as simple as it is, as hard it is to live.It^s about being yourself.Never in my entire life have I met someone who is so much himself like Roger Andrew Taylor, and in a world full of people pretending to be something that they are not, this is like having found a shiny diamond in a coalmine.I can^t tell you how happy I am that those two people, Roger and Nick, have found each other and how very proud I am to be one of Roger^s best men today. »
Carlos joined and he hugged Si heartily before he spoke.
„ As Simon said, it^s simple: Be yourself. But what if you don^t really know who you are ? What if some things about yourself are scaring you to death ? Sometimes being yourself is not very pleasant. I guess all of us have built up some barricades in their heads, like, oh no, i will never do that,no matter how much I would like it, because it^s not normal and I want to be normal, How many of us are pigeon-holing themselves just to fit into a standardized world ? Why are we so eager to be like everyone else ? I tell you why, because one needs to be very very strong to swim against the stream. One needs to be brave to stand up for himself ,shouting out, hey, that^s me! . In my very catholic puerto rican childhood home I have been told that it^s against god^s will when men are with men. That it^s a sin and utterly disgusting, and I adopted this opinion without questioning it . Maybe the hardest part of being yourself is to find out what^s your very own opinion. Is this really what I think, or is it what other^s have told me I should think about ?
Well, what I think is that I rarely have seen two people with such a right chemistry between them, being literally ying and yang.
Similar where it matters, different where it makes sense.You two have been my cure from homophobia and I^m proud to be the other best man for the guy who helped me to let go of quite a lot barricades in my head «
Everyone was very touched by their speeches but only a very few people knew the deeper meaning behind and at this very moment we felt the stong connenction to every single one of them. To Simon and Carlos, Sonya and Yas.
But most of all we felt that chemistry Carlos was talking about. The chemistry between us, which only had made all other things possible.
We were both utterly emotionally owerwhelmed when John came on stage and started right away .“ I was a single child. Until I was nine. Since then, I have a brother.A little brother, age-wise, but a big one mind-wise. My brother had set his mind on certain things at a very early age. When he was ten, he announced that we would be famous rockstars. With 14, he told me, Nigel, you know, I^m not interested in girls. Isn^t it extremely funny that almost 30 years later someone said exactly that..I^m not interested in girls…and we finally became rockstars after such a long time? When Roger ,…you may have guessed that it was him who said it…had informed Andy about that , I saw my brother, my Nicky, blushing for the first time ever and I thought, huh? That^s so not him! Looking at it from a distance now, I think I was wrong. It was Nick, of course. It was only a part of him which he never had allowed himself to show. There^s a reason we call him the controller, and the controller had to learn that there are things which can^t be contolled. Like falling in love with someone head over heels. Heart over brains.
Another thing what makes me smile today is that the credit for their first date belongs to me and I^m all happy and proud to be one of my brother^s best men today.“
And then Andy.
„I can see it in some faces here that people are wondering about me being Nick^s best man. Could there be two people on earth being more different? Maybe some of you had witnessed one of our legendary fights where we use to yell at each other as if we^d kill us any minute.
But you know what? I love this man.I truely madly deeply do!
I^ll tell you a secret today: All the yelling and fighting and eye-rolling, that^s all because of one night long time ago.
Like Carlos, I was raised up with the thought that freckin fagotts are all the way disgusting, and I was not amused about the fact that the keyboard player of the band I was planning to join was obviously as gay as the night is dark. I tried to simply ignore him, but well, it^s pretty hard to ignore la diva. After a long day I went to the nearest pub, all alone, to have a few beers and to make up my mind about the band and this annoying little sissy. Should I stay ? Could I deal with an openly gay band member ?
And all of a sudden Nick appeared in front of me, two beers in hand and announced * we have to talk, Taylor*. * About what?* I blurted. About that ,beside the fact that you are an homophobic idiot ,you are genius and I want you to stay in the band.*
Well, we talked. And we drunk. And it didn^t take long that I realized that Nick has been right. I was an idiot about this whole * gay-thing*. Once I stopped to look at Nick as gay in the first place , a shiny, witty, smart and just wonderful personality unfolded before me and I will be thankful for that evening the rest of my life. Because, honestly, I really don^t know what I would have done if this strong, well sorted man had not followed me to the pub.We made sort of a comedy show out of it and that^s how it goes ever since. He^d call me a brainless prole, I^d call him bossy sissy and we^d grin and wink at each other, having everyone thinking that we^d hate us.
You should have seen Roger^s face when he first witnessed one of our little rants.
So, let me tell you, I too am very proud to be la divas best man today.“

You leaned your head against my shoulder, little flower blossoms snowed on my suit and I couldn^t help but kiss you. Never in my life had I been so sure about something, about doing the right thing.
„I love you“ you whispered, squeezed my hand and we got a little lost in each other^s eyes.
Claire then spoke to us again and it took me a few seconds break the intense gaze.
« Nick wants to say something to his husband now » she smiled.
I stood up and pulled you with me so that we both were standing, very close. The look in your eyes and the warmth of your hands in mine sent shivers down my spine and my voice was a bit shaky when I started: „ My beloved Roger. You haven^t heard it, but when I came in here, they played a very annoying James-Blunt-song..“ The smile spreading out on your face made me chuckle and again you leaned your head against me, so I spoke into the soft skin of your neck. « I fell in love with you the first moment I saw you and I thought I^d never see you again. And just when I tried what Mister Blunt told me…to face the truth that I^ll never be with you..there you appeared again in a place I would never had expected. And i knew, whatever it would take to be with you, I^d do it. You turned me into an overemotional love sick teen with your laugh and those smiles and fabulous *behind lashes* looks.But, as if it would not be enough to bring you to Duran Duran, not enough that you are *not interested in girls*, not enough that you reciprocate my love, no, fate had so much more to offer for me.Yet again you appeared in a very unexpected place,and ever since I wished someone would have taken a picture that evening. The evening I realised that you are the one I^ve always dreamt of, the one I thought would not exist. I love you so much, Roger, for everything you are and for what you let me be.You are my other half and I will never ever let you go again“ I flung my arms around you, so taken by the moment that I didn^t care about Claire, guests, whoever, I just had to hold you, to feel your body against mine, to hear your steady heartbeat.My man, my husband, my Roger.
Claire gave us a few minutes before she cleared her throat and said. „ I^m pretty sure that Roger has to say something, too“
„Uh, indeed, I have!“ Your head still resting at my shoulder, you started „ My precious Nick. I have chosen * save a prayer* to come in because when I played it for the first time and looked into your faces, your^s, Simon^s, John^s and Andy^s, I felt that my life would change completely. I was chasing dreams for so long and that moment I felt that everything is possible. You don^t have to dream it all just live a day seemed to have been written just for me. I was so taken aback when you walked into that studio that I thought I couldn^t concentrate on the drumming, but when it worked,I knew that it had to mean something. It had to mean something that this green-eyed stranger walked into my life. It had to mean something that I didn^t mess up, since I was very good with that before…messing things up. My heart jolted when just a few minutes later I found out that the green-eyed stranger isn^t hetero, and as much as I tried to be not so excited about that, there was nothing else I could think of. Love at first sight really exists, and with the second look I completely lost my brains.I fell for you all the way, Nick. But would you like me? Yes, you would, and I was all happy. All happy that there^s someone, finally, who accepts and loves me the way I am. Who holds my hand in public and who isn^t afraid to show everyone see, that^s the man I love.There^s nothing more I could have asked for, is it? But it turned out to be so much more. So much that it nearly killed me when I found out and I had to run away. Yes, there is a reason why I^m such a keen runner, I tell you! You were still there when I came back. You are always there ever since. You know me and you understand me like no one ever did, even better than I know or understand myself sometimes. Thank you so much for letting me be who I am. I love you, and yes , all I want is being the ying for your yang. You make me whole. Forever“
When we finally signed that sheet of paper what made us a married couple( civil partnership, yeah, I don^t care!) , we hardly could see something through the tears and nearly all guests were crying with us.
After the ceremony a curtain was drawn and revealed the ballroom aside. If we wouldn^t have been in tears already, we certainly would have been then.
„Oh!“ you blurted and stopped dead in your tracks.
Again, there were black and white pictures ,golden cymbals hanging from the ceiling, garlands printed with piano keys everywhere, the bar tabels with black and white tableclothes and again miniature cymbals, purple and white roses placed on every table.
You pulled me close, beaming all over „ Wow! Just look at that, Nick! Look at that!“
There was also a stage set up and a few old fashioned sofas in the corners. We had decided that we won^t have a traditional wedding dinner. There would be a buffet and people could wander around and talk to everyone instead of being seated.
And that’s what we did now, wandering around, looking at everything. The pics and the decoration and all, it was just overwhelmingly beautiful.
„Hey!“ Saffron was beside us out of nowhere and pointed at a sculpture we hadn^t noticed before. „ You have been wrong, Nick!“
It was a swan. A swan made of white chocolate.“ Swans can be eaten!“ she grinned.
„And I bet this was your dad’s idea! Where is your dad?“ I chuckled.
„Just there¨“ the girl giggled and when I turned to you, I found you in a close embrace with Si and you two laughed so hard that tears were flowing yet again.
During the next hour all we did was hugging people. From our parents to Claire, from your brother to Darren. Once more I was amazed of the fact how well all those completely differnet people got along with each other. When it was finally you again, in my arms, we just stood there for a moment, holding each other. „Hello , handsome husband!“ I smiled. „ No more running away now!“
„You know, my precious, you can always tie me to the bed to prevent this!“ you winked.
„I was thinking about leashing you, actually“ I chuckled.
„I^ll go tell my brother! He^ll beat you!“
„Telling me what?“ Steve seemed to have a radar for those things as he stood beside us all of a sudden.
„Ah, nothing.“ You grinned and pulled him into your arms. „ I^m happy, Steve!“
„Yeah. Obviously! And you know what, little Rodgie? I^m happy, too.“ He reached out a hand to involve me into the hug.

I had never hugged and kissed so many people before, I think. It was as if everyone had to touch us, to tell us that they are so happy for us.
The two men who impressed and touched me the most at our wedding day( beside you, of course) were our fathers.My old man in particular.
After we, you and I, had our official wedding dance ( Show me heaven), my dad entered the dance floor to take you out of my arms directly in his^, and to Rob Thomas`* smooth* you two rocked it. Your dad joined without hesitation and a few minutes later the place was packed with same sex couples. Son and Yas, John and Simon, our moms, Trace and Gela, Andy and Darren ( yet again), even Steve with Carlos.We were all dancing and singing along to Yazoo^s *only you*, having a blast with the Dexy^s midnight runners and rocked the casbah before taking a break to eat something.
Then a few people went on the stage and Sonya took the mic.
« The Velvet^s » you whispered as you leaned in for a kiss.
„Hi everybody“ Son started.. „Time for another speech! No worries, it won^t take long. We are the ones out of that strange club called *The velvet*. We promise to not give any explicit details here, but still we thought that this important part of the grooms lifes should not be totally ignored. Despite of what you all have heard about us, the club or other things related to our *scene*, let me tell you that the most important thing is trust. And if the trust is combined with love, who would think that there^s anything bad about it? We^ve heard a lot about *being yourself* today, and Nick said that he wished someone would have taken a photo there in the club. Surprise surprise, there are pics, and we want to share them with you….Steve, relax, as I said, nothing explicit. We hope what you^ll see will be trust. And love. And people being themselves.“
And a picture was screened to the wall behind them. You. Drilling maschine in hand, all sweaty. That triumphant smile. Oh my god! That evening.
„We thought you^d like to have this one framed“ Carlos said and came to me to give me that very special present.
Next picture on the wall. We. Holding each other and laughing. Like idiots. Again Carlos handed me the framed version of it.
The last one was from a different evening. A group photo at the bar. Shortly before you got your collar. Your hand wandered to your neck to touch it as you smiled at me and I kissed that certain spot I had bitten that day. How very touching that they had integrated that part somehow, showing everything and nothing in only three pictures.
« Sometimes it takes a little help from your friends » Michael said.
« Sometimes things are different as they seem » Darren smiled.
„Sometimes you have to overcome yourself“ Carlos beamed.
« and sometimes with a little love everything is possible » Jason ended.
« Oh dear, and sometimes Ì^m such a whiner » you blurted as you had to cry again and everyone laughed.
Jason, who was our wedding photographer and had taken photos during the whole event so far, took a few more official ones in the hallway later and Yasmin^s parents left with a very sleepy Lulah.
As I had been told a few days after the wedding, there were a few very intensive talks going on about *that part*. My mom had quite a lot of questions to Michael once she had found out that he^s some kind of a soulmate for me.
Amber was again quite fascinated of Darren and the two of them talked a lot.
Our dad^s , in turn, were a little more straight forward and we found ourselves framed by them at the bar.
„So…those people…“ my father started, waving a hand into the direction of Son and Carlos, who stood near. „That guy likes to be a…little rough to his lady, yeah?“
„Nah, Rodge, it’s the other way around¨“ your dad laughed.
„Ah, really? Hard to imagine. That whole pain thing is quite hard to imagine, honestly!“
You slid from your stool, lay an arm around my puzzled old man and grinned :“ Let me explain, from one Roger to another, with the words of a highly underrated poet called Samantha Fox: Hot and cold emotion, confusing my brain, I could not decide between pleasure and pain. Like a tramp in the night I was begging for you to treat my body like you wanted to. Add some ah^s and oh^s. and that^s it!“
„Who is Samantha Fox?“ Dad was even more confused when we all laughed like mad about that.
„My dearest father-in-law“ you smiled warmly at him. „ if you really want to know about those things we will sit down together and talk, but not today, yeah? Not here and now. The only pain I^m in for today is about hurting lips from smiling and sore muscles from laughing…and dancing, maybe. May I, Mister Bates?“ Dad hooked in your arm and yet again the two of you went for a dance, what left me with your father.
He looked at me with a little grin and a raised brow.
« Darn, Hugh ! That look is giving me shivers. It^s so Roger!“ I laughed.
„ You don^t talk much about such things with your parents, do you?“ he wanted to know.
„No. Not at all. It^s just…they never asked, though, and I^m not sure if they want to hear something about it. We only talked when it came to the press and such, but they didn^t want to know any details“
„Oh, believe me, they want. We talked a lot, you know, Sylvie, Rodge Jean and I , when you moved in together. And Roger…your dad Roger…he really tries hard to be more open to you, in case you haven’t noticed“ He ordered a whisky and handed me a glass. „ When Roger…my son…finally broke up with this…this called teacher, we also talked a lot.Mostly Roger and I. We always have been very close. And I^ve heard a lot of things no father would like to hear, I tell you. But it was important. It was important for me and even more for Jean to understand how this could have happened.The following two years have been even harder. All parents want their children to be happy, right? He wasn^t, Roger. And I was afraid he^d never be happy, just because he is who he is. Until you came. Now we are celebrating a wedding, something that was far beyond imagination for me. Thank you for making my son happy, Nick“ and he embraced me, heartily tight. „ Talk to your parents. They are scared. They shouldn’t be!“
« I will » I promised, completely taken aback by his gesture and honesty.It really felt like having another dad. „Thank you, too. For not hating me“
„Oh Nick! Why should I hate you? See, it took me quite a while to accept that my youngest son is…let’s say, different. There have been times where I wondered what the hell Jean and I have done wrong that he is …like that. I would have felt better if he^d be on the other end of the whip, so to speak. But, as I said, we talked a lot.Sonya was a great help, too. The most important thing for me is that he^s happy. And he obviously is. So, again, why should I hate you ? You are not like this…this psychopath. You know the story, I assume“
„Yeah. God, yeah.“ I sighed.
„It^s not something we should talk about at your wedding day, hm? Let^s have another drink…unless you want to stay sober for your wedding night.“ He grinned.
„Too late already“ I grinned back and we ordered another whisky.
Simon joined us not much later, lay an arm around me and asked „ Hey you! How are you doing?“
„All fine. Having a good time with my other dad here! A whisky, Mr Lebon?“
„Sure! Your husband is having a blast with my women on the dancefloor. What a party! Hughie, would you ever have guessed that? Your youngest getting married?“
„No. Not in my wildest dreams.“ He raised his glass. „ To the love, gentlemen!“
„Amen!“ the singer beamed and it was another one of those perfect moments.One of those you^d never forget.
Just when I thought things couldn^t get any better, Saffron entered the stage and sat wordlessly behind the drum kit. Then John, who picked up the bass, followed by Andy and his guitar. Simon smiled widely „ Oh. They need a singer, I guess“
When Michael stood behind the keyboards, the line-up was complete and they started to play. *Nice*. I chuckled by the memory where that song was coming from and when you appeared with Yassie, both of you beaming all over, we hold us close and happily sang along.
„ Look at Saff! She^s incredible! Oh my god, Yas, she^s brilliant ! » you were literally bouncing.
« She has one very good teacher ! » the model smiled and kissed you.
In no time the dancefloor was filled and we danced to *wild boys*, *hungry like the wolf* and * sunrise* .before they played Mendelsohn^s Wedding march and the cake was brought in, made by Sonya herself. A giant cupcake.
Before we cut it, you went on stage to hug Saffron. « That was amazing, Saffy ! Thank you so much ! »
And she flung her arms around you and gave you one of those noisy LeBon-girls-kisses.
At least I could live out one of my little fetishes as I fed you with cake and we had a very intimate and erotic moment when you sucked at my fingers ever so gently.
„Rooogerrr“ I purred and felt shivers down my spine as you, with your eyes fixed at mine, started to feed me too.
It didn’t take long and we had to stop that, before the effect would be visible.
„Wow“ you said quietly and leaned in to lick some cream from the corner of my mouth.
„Ah, god, Roger, don^t do that I chuckled. „I^m going nuts here!“
„Guess who else“ you sighed and we had to kiss. What was a mistake. In no time we got lost into an intense tongue play and only when you moaned into my mouth you snapped back to reality.
„Ack! Wedding. Family is here.We have to behave!“ you sounded so very frustrated that I had to laugh.“ My husband is a very greedy naughty thing, huh?“
„ And so is mine“ your fingers slightly brushed over the bulge in my pants .
„I don^t think this is the right time and place to try out the toilet stalls, much to my regret. » i buried my face into that curve of your neck, what was again not the very best idea.
„Your recent obsession with toilet stalls is a bit scary, Mister Rhodes-Taylor » you laughed.
« Toilet stalls ? Did I hear something about toilet stalls ? » someone said and we giggled like mad.
„ Rodriguez! Excellent timing yet again!“ you snorted.
« Hey, I wanted to be nice and bring you some champagner ! And if I were you, I wouldn^t go for toilet stalls, I^d wait for the honeymoon suite where your very very lovely best men had left some interesting presents for you!“ he winked and handed us the champagne glasses.

It was nearly six when we finally took the lift to the honeymoon suite.
„After you, Mister Taylor-Rhodes“
„ How very kind of you, Mister Rhodes-Taylor. Would you please keep in mind that Amber is staying in the hotel and you have to close the door properly“ you chuckled and I did so before I pulled you close.
„Here we are“ I smiled and started to losen your tie.
„Finally“ you didn’t hesitate to return the favour.
« Don^t ! » i said, cupping your hands with mine. Your brows came up and this little questioning smile showed, but you kept all still as I took away the tie and continued to undress you. The Jacket followed the tie , the shirt followed the jacket and I stepped back to savor the sight of your torso in the dimmed light.
It felt like I hadn^t seen your bare skin for ages. Yet alone the slight twitching of your muscles made my nerves tingle and it took me every little bit of willpower not to get you out of your clothes as fast as possible any simply fuck you right here on the floor.
But this was our wedding night and it should be a bit more than that, shouldn^t it?
It should be something special.I just could hardly think of something right now with you before me after days without anything more than kisses and hugs, with the overemotional afterglow of this wonderful day.
What a wicked game to play to make me feel this way. That tune crossed my mind all of a sudden.
I reached out my hand to touch your warm skin and your eyes fell close
„Roger, wait a minute, I will go for my Ipod.“ I said quietly and went into the bedroom of the suite where our stuff was stored. Chris Isaak^s *wicked game* was on my playlist, as I had thought, and I plugged the pod in the slid of the player.
When the guitar started I stood behind you and flung my arms around your waist. We moved slowly with the melody, my lips trailing down your neck and your hand lay on the back of mine. „Pull your pants down“I whispered. Catching your ear lobe with my teeth I watched how you unbuckled your belt and opened the fly, how you pushed the fabric out of the way and your erection sprung free.My arms still around you, holding you tight, I let go of the skin between my teeth and my tongue darted in your ear. Your soft moan wasn^t a surprise as I knew how much you like to have your ear licked. « Touch you » I breathed . „ Show me how you touch yourself“
« Oh god…oh god…oh god » you gasped as you grabbed your cock , stroking up and down in time with our gentle moves to the music.
« Hmmm…that^s nice. So very nice » I whispered against the hot skin of your neck and rubbed my own erection at your ass. »Go faster ! »
« Can^t… » you moaned « Won^t take long then »
« I know. Go faster ! »Pushing my hips back and forth as if I^d fuck you,I let my tongue slide into your ear again.
Watching you wanking yourself with your smell in my nose, your heavy breathing against my neck and the taste of your salty skin on my tongue was one of the most sexy things ever.I held you tight the whole time, felt the shivers going through your body, the flexion of your muscles, your heartbeat against the rib cage.My, were you beautiful!
„Ah…ah…ah..“ you panted and I knew you were close. That¨s when I covered your mouth with mine and my tongue invaded your warm wetness.
Your whole body clenched , the muscles became hard as stone under my fingers and you came with three fierce spurts.
Chris Isaak started his wicked game for the 4th time when your breathing was close to normal again and your knees stopped from shaking.
You still wore shoes and socks, your pants a crumpled mass around your feet.
«Wicked, indeed » you smiled against the curve of my neck. « What was that ? »
« It just crossed my mind that I never have watched you doing this » I pulled you close for another deep kiss. »Let^s go to bed, yeah ? »
« Hmhm » You got rid of the remained clothes and hand in hand we went into the bedroom, where you finally undressed me.
Another bottle of champagne was placed in a cooler at one of the nightstands, glasses and a bottle of lube.
„Oh, is that the wedding night survival kit?“ you chuckled and opened the bottle. The Champagner, not the lube.
„Carlos said something about presents, didn^t he?“ I grinned.
« Ah. Found them ! » you gasped when you plopped down on the bed and landed on something hard.
There were a few small packets hidden under the blanket and after you had poured us some champagne and we had settled down in bed, we started to open them. The first one contained a small remote, together with a handwritten note. * Something for the controller* it said.
„I bet the other half of it is something that vibrates. Switch it on and we will know what package it is“ you smirked
And so it was. One of the begun to hum. You unpacked it and a funny shaped dildo emerged. « Description---is there a description ? » you mumbled « Ah. Here. Listen, contoller…the aneros helix syn prostata massager…wahoo ! .. expierience the masculine g-spot to feel a new, fantastic kind of orgasm..Aha ! The aneros enables a targeted massage of the prostate and the perineum to give you orgasms like never before… oh well, I prefer the real thing, I guess »
« I could tie you to the bed, make myself comfortable in one cosy armchair , smoking a cigarette and watch you come…I^d like that » I chuckled and reached for the next present.
„Would you? Is that a new fetish of your^s, watching me ? Anyway, much better than toilet stalls. What’s in there?“
„ Fluffy handcuffs“ I laughed, holding up a pair of cuffs covered with pink fake fur.
„Eeeek!“ you snorted „Next!“
„ Oh. Violet will give us a private bondage workshop.See!“ I handed you the couvert which had been in the next package, together with a piece of rope.“That was it“
„Hopefully not!“ you grinned mischieviously and your hand made it^s way under the blanket down to my crotch.
„Yes, Nick?
„On all fours with you, I wanna show you the real thing!“

We spent two full day in the suite and it was a delicous mix of sex, food, more champagne and endless talks.
The helix-massager kept it^s promises as it turned you into a a quivering mass after about 5 to 7 forced orgasms and you yelled out *cupcake* for the first time ever. Whoever had bought that thing should get awarded.
We had sex in the whirlpool and dinner in bed. I told you about the talk with your dad at the bar and we decided to invite my parents for dinner as soon as possible.

Chapter Text

The friends had brought all wedding presents into the living room and we sat on the carpet together to unpack them and make a list, so that we could say *thank you* to everyone in person.
„Oh! Fab! A dough mixer ! Exactly the one I wanted ! » you beamed and I had to laugh.
« You are probably the only man I know who is happy to get a dough mixer »
« Ah, wait how happy YOU will be about all the cakes and homemade bread and stuff ! Uh..what^s that? Anne got us nipple clamps? This obsession must be in the family somehow!“ you hold up two pairs of steel clamps with little strawberries dangling down.
« Those are for tableclothes, Roger Andrew. To hold them in place…but now that you mention it…well, they could be used otherwise. Talking about things that can be used otherwise…“ I grabbed the slotted steel spatula I just had unpacked.
„And finally Nick Rhodes-Taylor realized why his husband finds kitchen work somehow exciting!“ you grinned and it needed some good old OTK to make you behave. The strawberries dangling from your nipples were indeed very cute,I have to say.

„I^m nervous“ you admitted.My parents would come over for dinner and the promised talk.“I still don^t think parents should know any details about their children^s sexual life »
« You talked about it a lot with your dad, he said » I wondered.
« Yeah. Because I had to. It^s not that I wanted it.“ You sighed.
„Thank Mister Google for that, Roger.Mom thinks we would walk around in leather harnesses or latex body suits with fitting masks all day.Oh, wait, no, I would walk around. You have to crawl, of course. And you have to do everything I order, yeah? Bring your master a coffee, slave boy ! » I chuckled.
« As you wish, Master Nicholas. Am I allowed to walk, though? Because I have no idea how to serve coffee when crawling!“ you blurted.
„Really, Roger, you have to take this more serious! A proper slave would know how to do that!“
„You know what? Go for a coffee yourself, master of desaster!“ you disappeared into the living room to set up the dinner table and I followed you, alarmed by your harsh tone.
„Hey, come here“ I took the serviettes out of your hands and pulled you close. „ You know that this was fun, yeah?“
« Of course I know. Sorry. I^m just…nervous. » You leaned your head against my chest with a deep sigh.
« Let^s just be honest, Roger. It will be fine »
« If you say so.Let me finish here, precious.Would you go for the wine ? There should be some Cabernet left in the cellar. »
It was obvious that my parents felt quite uncomfortable.Mom tried to make some small talk and dad was just staring at the doorway you had left through to make the last preparations for the meal.
« So, is this… » he started « Is this somehow part of your…arrangement ? »
« I don^t know what you are talking about… what is part of what arrangement ? » I really had no clue what he was up to.
„See, I don^t care what you two are doing when you are alone, but if you have guests you could at least help Roger in the kitchen“ Mom lay a hand on my arm and looked at me all serious.
„Oh!“ My, was it hard to stifle that laugh. „I assure you, the only arrangement we have here is the * stay out of my kitchen, Nick*-arrangement. You know me, mom! I can^t even boil an egg. Roger loves cooking and he surely doesn’t want to have me around to mess things up. Ok ? »
Her face lit up when you entered the room with a tray full of plates. »Roger ! Let me help ! Sit down, I^ll do that ! » she literally jumped up and took the tray from you.
« You don^t have to, you are our guests,Sylvie ! » you laughed and kissed her shortly on the cheek.
« Well, Roger, my parents are thinking that you have to do all the work because it^s part of our little arrangement“ I chuckled and my mother blushed deeply.
« Ah.^s not.It^s…he » you pointed at me « he won^t be that much of a help. But hey, he^s very good with opening wine ! So, Nick, would you be so kind?“
„Of course, luv.“ Grinning all over I grabbed the bottle opener.
Once we all had our glasses filled and sat around the table, I decided to be straight forward.
„ So, dad, Hugh told me that you are scared or something. Why is that?“
Swallowing down his forkfull of the delicious salmon mousse , he fixed at me, searching for words.
„It^s…you know…we did google searches about…you know… when you talked to the press back then.And what we found out was indeed scary“
« Wait a second. I^ll get something for you. » very surprised, I watched you leaving the room and not a minute later you were back with a book. „Dad reminded me of that one. He found it quite helpful. It’s a collection of personal stories. About how people have found out about their…about their preferences, how they live it out and such. And to answer the title question, no, they don^t ! » you grinned when you handed the book to my dad. The title said * Do masochists love toothache?*
« See,.the most important thing about SM is what we call SSC. Stands for safe, sane and consensual.
Of course, people have different opinions about what^s safe or sane, but there is never any doubt about the consensual-part, ok ? Oh, and just to make that perfectly clear : None of us is wearing latex suits. Or masks. Or harnesses, eek ! « you explained and sat down again.
We had a long talk after dinner, where we tried to answer a few questions and with a little humour it turned out quite well.
When they were gone, we huddled on the sofa with a whisky and I thought it would be the right time to talk about something what was in my mind since we came back from the island.
« Why did you stop to write those dreams and wishes-messages, Roger ? »
« Oh. You have noticed that ! » you chuckled.
« Of course I did. And believe me, there will be consequences, as promised. But why did you stop ? »
„I can^t think of something we haven^t done yet , beside the things I have already written and we haven^t done yet, that is, and…er…maybe, just maybe, I wanted to find out about the consequences. Because the consequences for wearing sweatpants have been ..uh »
« No worries, plans are in the making here!“ I winked. „ For not writing AND for wearing sweatpants yet again.“
„I haven’t..“ you started.
„Ah! No lies, please!“ I interupted. „ No sweatpants means no sweatpants, and I know you wore them at the LeBon^s »
« I thought it was about that you don^t want to see me in them, and you weren^t there…“
„“Well, you thought wrong. I said no sweatpants, only for work out, didn^t I?“
As rediculous as the subject was, I felt something building up inside of me what I haven^t felt for quite a while.The urgent need to subdue you. Not only in bed. Not only sexually.
The last time we had something D/s-like going on was on the island with Si and Yas, and it had turned into something utterly carnal pretty fast. No complains about that, though !
There was something planned for the upcoming weekend, a little private and special wedding ceremony, but right here I doubted that I could wait that long.
Sure, we had our spanking sessions and such, but that was all *comfort zone*, wasn^t it?
I missed those fights you used to have with yourself,the blushing, the disbelief in your face and how you give in finally, like that night you got the collar. The thing far beyond sex,the brain fuck, and it seemed like you missed it, too.
We both had quite a lot of wine, and now the whisky, so, much to my regret, we shouldn^t do those things right now.Mind fucks can be dangerous.
„I^m really sorry, Nick. I thought…well“ you said and it took me a while to snap back into here and now.
„So…you want consequences, Roger? What kind of consequences ? « I blurted and it came out very harsh, what was not what I wanted. « I apologize. I didn^t want to be rude. » I took your hand and locked my eyes with your^s.
„ Tell me, handsome husband, are you missing to be my sub? Are you missing your little fights to overcome yourself? Because I surely do!“
„Do you? When I stopped to write those messages and nothing happened I thought…well…that you don^t care“
Ok, , we really had to talk here!
„I care. I care a lot. But with the planning for the wedding and all …it felt like there^s no space for that. And I still don^t know, Roger, I still don^t know how much of this I want.“
„Me neither“ you sighed. „It^s … yeah, I am missing that , but on the other hand.. I^m still struggling with this * how much of it is healthy*-part. It^s not that I^m unhappy or something, Nick, with the way it is right now. Absolutely not. Actually I have never been happier in my entire life. But…“
„ Yeah. But. Same here.So it^s my turn, I guess. Being less pink jellybean and more controller.Sometimes I wish i^d be vanilla. Life would be so easy.“
„ Indeed. Easy. And boring. Cheers!“ you raised your glass „ may or life never be boring!“
« I^ll make you beg for the pink jellybean to be back`¨“ I chuckled.
« Yeah ? Promised ? » That *from behind lashes*-look was simply adorable.
« Be careful what you wish for, Mister Taylor-Rhodes ! «
I lay awake beside you for hours that night. At two in the morning I called the only person I knew who could help me here, hoping that he^d be still awake. He was, since he had work to do in the Velvet.
„Hey Michael. I need your advice“
It was a very long chat and afterwards I finally fell asleep, with you in my arms.

You were gone when I woke up and there was another note on the nightstand.
Out for a run, of course.
I called Michael again and when I heard your keys in the lock I was all excited about the things that would happen today.
„Hey!“ Oh god! That sight of you when you entered the kitchen, smiling all over, sweaty all over, hair in a mess…all I wanted was to hold you and kiss you and …ack! Michael had put it straight last night on the phone.: „ I know that problem,Nick. You love him so much that you are afraid of ruin things. And he feels the same,I tell you!“
So he^d help me to find out some things today.
„Hey yourself! Coffee?“ I smiled at you
„Water first. Lot^s of water! Where have you been half the night, precious?“ you placed the bag you brought along on the counter and kissed me.
„On the phone with Michael. They^ll come over tonight if you don^t mind. You don^t have to cook , they^ll bring pizza »
« Oh...ok. Is there a special occasion or something?“ you wondered.
« Just friends coming over » I lied and I knew by the look in your face that you knew that I was lying.
I had told you that Michael was some sort of mentor for me and the two coming over right after the talk we had the other night ..well, you definetely counted one and one together.
We spent the day with some cleaning, doing the laundry and other utterly normal all day things that needed to be done and when the doorbell rang everything SM, D/s or whatever seemed to be as far away as the moon.
„Hello there, newly-weds!“ Michael and Jason hugged us, smiling all over. „Pizza galore here! We brought beer as well“
„You won^t believe it, but it^s been ages since we had pizza and beer!“ you laughed and guided them in.
„Yeah, you bloody snobs! Champagner and strawberries, huh? I really miss our fish and chips orgies at 3 in the morning at the Velvet, Roger ! » Jason cupped your cheeks with his hands and kissed you.
„You guys look fab! Being married does you well, hm?“ Michael grinned when we all sat at the table.
„Oh fuck! I forgot to bring the pics!“ Jason slapped his forehead „Dang! Sorry.“
„You had them in the hallway right in front of the door! How could you forget them?“ Michael shook his head. „Add ten. Really, Jason, you would forget your head if it won^t be fixed!“
„Nevermind. I can come over sometime this week and get them“ you said.
„Naah, Rog, you won^t ! He^ll bring them. Won^t you, darling?“ Michael squeezed his^lovers arm.
„Sure. Tomorrow? Around 10 am? I can bring something for breakfast“
„Deal!“ you grinned and we raised the bottles.I noticed the look you darted at me, though.
„How are things at the club?“ I wanted to know.
„Going well. Mona and Dylan are fantastic. Oh, by the way, they told us how they first met you! Nicholas Nicholas! A party at Madame Claire^s and again you haven^t told me ! »my old friend smirked.
« Oh my, that^s ages ago anyway. Next time we should go all together.You two, Carlos and Son and the LeBons“ I chuckled.
„Ah, talking about the LeBons…what the hell is going on with them? You two seem to have a faible for mixed couples, huh? How’s that working ? I thought that Simon is totally straight. But then..I thought the same of Carlos ! So, what is it ? And what the hell is Son^s and Yasmin^s part? God, I could barely breathe when I watched you together in the club » Jason was obviously dying of curiousity.
„Please, Jason! Don^t be that nosy!“ Michael sighed.
« Ah, come on, Mike ! As if you are not ! » his partner blurted. »Tell me, Roger ! Please ! »
« Friendship with benefits, I^d say » you blushed slighty and took a sip of your beer.
« Don^t tease me, Taylor ! What benefits ? »
« Simon has quite a crush on Roger.So has his wife. Tell them, Roger ! Tell them what happened. » my hand rested lightly on your head and I felt my pulse quickening, knowing so well that you still had problems to speak things out loud.
„Simon and Yas joined us in Wales when we were there for the first time and we had a …well…a D/s-game going on, the two mostly watching..“ you stopped and swallowed visibly. „ And not much later they…Simon…“
„Simon confessed that he wants to fuck Roger senseless“ I explained, matter-of –factly., what made your blush deepen and you stared at the table as if there would be something very interesting.
„And? Was he successful?“ Michael, well aware of that you were speechless with shame,lifted your chin and looked you direktly in the eyes.
„Almost“ you said quietly.
„Wow! So you had a gang bang or what?“ Jason, eager to find out details, didn^t care that much about your obvious discomfort.
« If you^d call Nick and Simon a gang, yeah. »
« Wow again ! And how was Yasmin involved?“
„Jason! Stop that! Can^t you see that Roger doesn^t want to talk about that?“ Michael snapped and Jason had to chuckle „ Oh, yeah, Mike, isn^t that why you two are forcing him to speak it out?“
„You are right, Jason! WE. Not you! So shut up now, or I^ll gag you and you can spend the rest of the evening on your knees,you plonker!“ Mike reached into the backpack beside his chair and lay a ball-gag on the table. „ No kidding, Jay!“
„Pffft!“ Jay leaned back and crossed his arms, such a typical Roger-gesture that I had to laugh.
„Did you just *pffft*me, Jason? Mind your place, will you ! »Michael slapped him on the cheek, more a warning than something really painful, and it worked. Jay bowed his head and remained silent.
„Aha. That^s what it is about. Friends coming over, my ass.I knew it!“ you murmured.
« What do you think it^s about, Roger ? » I asked.
« Giving me a demonstation of a proper D/s-relationship,yeah ? »
« We’re not demonstrating something here, Roger. We are who we are, we are with friends who share this, so we can do those things, right?“ Michael explained.
„Oh sure! And this has absolutely nothing to do with the talk I had with Nick the other day or with whatever you two talked about on the phone half the night, huh?Please, don`t insult my intelligence here, Michael!“ you said harshly.
„You know what, Roger? You really have to learn to talk about your needs instead of feeling insulted for everything. Yeah, we came over because Nick asked us to , but we are not making a show here or something. See, what we do, me and Jay is that every morning when we get up, we sit together and talk about what we want to do with that part for the day. We. Together. Recently Jay has some problems to concentrate, and he keeps on forgetting things, what annoys him more than it annoys me, I tell you.“
„Er..“ Jason interupted „ Can I explain that, please?“
„Go ahead, darling“ Mike smiled and the two kissed shortly.
„Duh! So…I believe…WE believe that you can use that whole D/s-thing in a positive, constructive way and that it can help with many things. As Mike said, I`m not very concentrated lately, so every time I forget something, Michael adds 10 points to my little list and every evening the points will be counted and I have to do something for redemption.Yesterday I had to kneel on crown caps for 20 minutes. Wasn^t funny, I tell you. Such things are helping me to concentrate. Well…mostly! Sorry about the pics! Oh, and about the gag and such…well. I^m talking too much and I^m sometimes…er…let^s say obstrusive.Too prying…whatever. I LeBon fucked you? Really? I have a crush on him, you know, and…wow…he, how was it?“
„Jay-soooon!“ Mike grinned and we all had to laugh.
„Roger, relax, ok? You are thinking too much! You two had experiences with others. Great! No reason to feel ashamed . It^s us! We are no strangers or something. We know what it^s like. Been there, done that! With Diana, by the way.And some others,.occasionally.“ Michael lay an arm around your shoulder. „Really, Roger! Learn to speak out your needs! It^s Nick, your husband! It^s not bloody fucking Allan!“
„ I don^t really know what I want. What I need.That^s the point, Michael. If I would know, I would say it. And about those experiences…do you remember what Carlos said at our wedding? Barricades? To feel something is one thing, to speak it out is another.“ You explained.
« Oh, I^m all with you, mate ! »Jay smiled warmly at you.“but honestly…isn^t it somehow thrilling to be forced to speak it out? Isn^t that what we want ? I mean…ah, you know what I mean, don^t you ? »
« Oh yeah, I do ! » you chuckled « I do. »
Mike and I changed a glance and I nodded slightly. You wanted to be forced, you would be forced. With a little help from Michael, like he had said at our wedding.
Although I knew what would happen it gave me quite a turn when he jerked forward to grab your arm and had you down on the floor on your knees in no time. Beside a short gasp you didn^t seem very surprised at all.It was like you would have waited for something like that.
Here we go.
I placed my chair right in front of you and Mike sat behind you on the floor and flung his arms around your chest.
„Now tell us, Roger“ he whispered in your ear. „ Tell Nick, Jason and me, do you like to be on your knees?“
„Yes“ you answered quietly.
„Ah. Complete sentences, please. I want answers . You won^t run away, you won^t hide. Not today. Next try. Do you like to be on your knees?“
„Yes, I like that. Sometimes“
„ My my, you are one stubborn thing, aren^t you? No relativization here! No *sometimes* or *maybes*. Do you like it right now ? »
« Yes..I do. Yes ! » You were not into it yet, your face displayed confusion and shame, still. „Michael, what…“
My old friend violently pulled your head back .
„You are not supposed to speak, unless we^ll ask you something, Roger! You are thinking too much! You are questioning things too much.No questions today! All I want to hear from you are answers ! You got that?“
You swallowed hard and yet again I saw you fighting your private fight. Strong confident Roger against sub Roger. It didn^t take long and your face softened, your eyes fell close and you took a deep, shivering breath.
Michael had never let go of your hair, only when you sighed deeply and said « Yes, Michael, I understand » he loosened his grip and kissed your neck shortly.
« Good. That wasn^t so hard , was it ? I know that you have questions. You can ask them later, if it^s still necessary. Now we^ll find out what you want., yeah? Tell me about your most intense *sub-moment*. When was that ? »
« At the Velvet. When I got the collar. » you answered without hesitation.
„Anything in particular? Any move, gesture, whatever?“ Mike unbottoned your shirt and rubbed his thumbs over your rock hard nipples.
„Uh..It was…all of it. The mix. The setting. Everything.“Your wide open eyes were fixed at mine and I leaned forwards to kiss you. Your answer was the one I had expected. Now we would have to drag a little deeper.
„Aha.The mix. The mix of what? Could you be more precise,please?“ Mike was still rubbing over your nipples, very gently and slow. More a comforting caress than something to turn you on.
« It^s…i like when it^s out of the blue » you were talking to me now, not to Michael.Holding my gaze, you continued . «It^s easier for me at a moment^s notice. Nick. I need to be forced. I need your help to let go. I need consequences. I want consequences » Once you started you spoke it all out, even as tears begun to flow « I want to be pushed over my limits. » There you were, on your knees, in front of me, finally telling me everything. You didn^t notice when Michael and Jason left.. You didn^t care about hurting knees, about your tears, about anything. All the vulnerability you had tried to hide with those smiles and laughs and funny jokes, with your fights and your *Cliche-phobia*, all that came out. Here and now you were all Roger, the sub. No pain has been needed, no cuffs, no ropes, no rough sex. Just a little help from friends. Most of the things you told me that evening I had already known somehow, but there were also a few unexpected surprises.
It was a long night and when we finally huddled under the blanket, there was a closeness between us like never before, what I had thought would not be possible.


The next day we had to be back to the studio very early and there wasn^t any time to talk things over before we picked up Simon and Saffron. The girl had to be in school earlier than usual for a project and we^d drop her off there. We were greeted with the famous eye-roll. „ Good morning, you two. All in *love sick idiots*-mode again, I see!“ She kissed us and yelled over her shoulder.“ Daaaaaad! Are you coming or what?“
A very grumpy Simon appeared, obviously not in his very best mood.
„Women!“ he sighed. „ Do you understand women?“ He plopped on the backseat beside his daughter.“ She^s a supermodel and stunningly beautiful. Why is she complaining about her ass?“
« Mom is complaining about her ass ? » Saffron chuckled
« Ack. Cover your ears, Saff, will you ? Geez. I need coffee. It^s way too early for discussions about the firmness of my wife^s ass, man ! It^s perfectly firm, by the way. Although she^s not believing that. »
That was just the beginning of a very weird day. Very weird.
After Saff had left and we arrived at the studio, there was no parking space and we came late because we had to walk quite a distance.The others were upset and the soundman yelled at us because he got up so early to have the final mixes done.
To crown it all there was a blackout in the whole building just when we were finally ready to play.Everyone got mad and soon we all yelled at each other.
We all? No.
There was this drummer behind his kit who smiled almost annoyingly.
„Bloody hell, Roger, what^s wrong? Something funny?“ Andy blurted.
„You are funny, actually. You all. It^s kinda like watching the muppets show here. Would you blokes please calm down? There^s nothing we can do about it, huh?“
« We have a tight time schedule here, Roger ! »I snapped.
« Yeah, Nick, I know that. But there^s still nothing we can do and yelling won^t help at all. So what about we^ll go to the cafe down the road, it^s open early , we can be called when the power is on again and we will be back here in no time.“
You rose from your stool, still smiling and asked „May I buy you a coffee?“
John shook his head slightly, but he couldn’t stifle a grin. « What^s the matter, Roger ? Why so relaxed? Got laid?“
„I^m afraid not!“ you grinned.
„Oh well, at least we can do something about that!“ I chuckled and pulled you close for one very intense kiss.
„Please!“Andy sighed . „ Could you do this at home? In bed or on the kitchen table or whereever? Just not here. Please!“
„I hope you have a stable table then!“ Simon patted your shoulder, grinning all over, and in much better mood we went to the cafe you had suggested.
I was on the phone with the management and couldn^t stop smiling as I watched how the Taylor-three put their heads together to discuss something about a certain guitar riff and the left out singer started to throw paper pellets at you three.
The band. My friends. My Husband. Yes, i am one lucky man, I^d say.

Once we had been informed that it won^t be possible to do any studio work today, John and Andy went home and we asked Simon to join us for a late breakfast at our place, since Jason would come over at ten with the wedding pics.
„Cool. I^ll call Yas, if you don^t mind. »

Jason stopped dead in his tracks when he walked into our kitchen and the LeBons were sitting there. Michael, wo was following him, nearly bumped into him.
„Ack! Jay! Oh, hi there! Should I have told you that I^m coming, too? Sorry, i didn^t know you are already having guests!“ Mike turned to me with a cheesy grin.
„Nevermind, Mike. We like to have guests.“ I chuckled.
„You surely do!“ he winked and when Jay was able to move again we all moved into the living room.

Michael cupped your cheeks with his hands, looked you deep into the eyes ans asked : «Everything ok here ? »
« Could not be any better » you assured.
« Good ! I came with Jay because I thought we could talk about last night.Well, I should have called, I guess »
« Oh, are we interfering something here ? No problem, we can leave you alone!“ Simon said and he sounded all the way offended.
„No, Simon, you are not interfering something here and no Simon, I don^t want you to leave and no, Simon, what happened last night. had nothing to do with sex“ I snapped „ Your temper drives me crazy sometimes, you know!“
„Tell me about!“ Yassie sighed.
« Hey, did you really fuck Roger, Simon ? And what did Yasmin do? » Jason bursted out and before someone could say something, Michael had him down on the floor.
„Jason, have you ever heard about manners or sphere of personal privacy or something ? I told you what would happen , you nosy Nancy ! Roger, dear, would you be so kind to bring my backpack ? It^s in the hallway.“
With a broad grin you went for what he had asked for and Mike turned to the LeBons
„ Is that ok with you? He needs to be disciplined sometimes, you know. I am sorry for his lack of discretion. Ah, Thank you, Rog.Here^s the gag, Would you put it on him? If Yas and Si don^t mind, that is!“
„No worries“ Yassie chuckled „ We are all fine with that. Aren^t we, Charlie?“
„Oh yes!“ the singer smirked and so you gagged Jay and kissed him on the forehead „I^m sorry, mate!“
„This is very usable, this gag-thing, Yasmin. I could gag you everytime you^re complaining about something ! » Si laughed.
« Sure. Dream on, dear ! » she slapped him slightly on the tigh.
While we went through tons of wedding pictures, the one who had taken them kneeled on the floor and was, for once, very silent.
It was wonderful to see all the pics, to re-experience the wedding day somehow and we all had to smile and laugh and even cry by the memories displayed.
„Oh god! Lulah was so sweet! I couldn^t stop laughing when you came in“ Michael pointed at the little girl in her apricot dress.
„I am sorry, Roger, I coulnd^t catch her!“ Si smiled.
„I think it was perfect! It had to be like that!“ you kissed him on the cheek. „Thank you for a wonderful day!“
„I can’t take all the credits here, luv. It was teamwork at it’s best!“ he winked.
„I surely know that. But you are here now, so, again, thank you!“
„You can thank me for the little pesent I left in your suite!“ he chuckled.
« What pre…ah…I should have known it^s from you ! » you went all pink.
« So…does it work ? » Yassie grinned.
„Ah, don^t tell me it was your idea, angel face demon!“ the pink darkened into deep red.
„ It was a LeBon-couple idea, actually! Is it good ? »
« Aren^t LeBon-couple ideas always good ? » I smirked and pulled you close. „They are, Roger, huh?“
„Uh, definetely!“ you buried your face in the curve of my neck to hide your blush for shame.
„Ok, and now I^m curious…what is it?“ Michael asked and a triumphant *hmmpf* could be heard from Jay, if something like a *triumphant hmmpf* is possible.
„The helix prostate massager“ you spoke into my skin.
« Heard about that. So, you^d recommend it, yes ? » he smiled mischievously.
„Made him screaming out his safeword, finally¨“ I revealed.
„Ha! Really? Wish we^d seen that! Oh yes, wish we^d been there.“ Si beamed.
„Jeez, Si! It was their wedding night! Did you think they^d leave the door open at their wedding night?“ Yassie shook her head, laughing.
„We couldn^t.“ I chuckled. « Amber was in the hotel »
And while you became somehow very quiet, Yas, Si an I informed Michael about our * friendship with benefits* About open doors and swans that can’t be eaten and Amber^s voyeurism. Jason^s jar dropped to the floor.
We just had opened a bottle of champagne when a call from the studio came in.
„No! No, we can^t do this saturday night…we have plans for Saturday night!“ Si yelled into the phone and I had to take the mobile away from him.
„All fine. We^ll be there. Yeah, I know, schedule and such, yeah. Hmhm. Ok. Saturday at 7 , then.Bye.“ To say it with your words. Fuckfuckfuck. They just had ruined the private little wedding party I had planned. But band business had to be first.
„I can^t believe you did this! We can^t be there on Saturday!“ Simon was all mad.
„ We have to, Charlie! Much to my regret, we have to! We have to finish the mixing!“ I shrugged
„Nick is right, Si, you know that!“ Yassie soothed.
„Ack! Yeah, he his…but still…ack! Dang!“ he was all frustrated. „ I^ve been looking forward to it“
„ Me too, you bet!“ I sighed.
« To what ? » you asked « I don^t know anything about plans for Saturday ! »
« Of course you don^t. You like it out of the blue, hm ? Ah, fuck ! Have to call Son and Carlos. At least you can have the club open then, Mike.No private little wedding party ! I^m sorry, Roger. You have no clue how sorry I am!“ I pulled you close and we kissed deeply. « You don^t have to be sorry ! » you murmured against my neck. « It^s not your fault and I didn^t even know about it »
«Part of the plan, as I said. Oh well, so much for the plan, then »
Another kiss and I took my mobile to call Son and Carlos.They were not amused either.
When we finally raised the filled glasses, you pointed at Jay „What about him?It’s been quite a while, hm ? »
« Yes. His choice. He knows what he has to do to end it ! » Mike grinned.
„Ah. And what would that be?“ of course it was Simon who asked that.
„You^ll see when he does it, It^s probably because of you that he hasn^t done it yet“
Jason turned all red when Simon stared at him and asked: „ Because of me? Why is that?“
„Oh, he has a little crush on you, you know, and I guess he is a little embarrassed now » Michael explained with an evil grin in Jay^s direction.
« Michael ! Was that really necessary ? » you sighed as you felt with Jay here.
„Yes, Roger, it was.Not that it^d be any of your business, but Jason loves it to get humiliated. Am I right, Jay?“
The man on the floor nodded slightly and a shiver went through his body.
Humiliation. Such a sore point of your^s. You had tried to explain it to me the other night. How much you wanted it and how much you hated it. That sometimes you wished I would simply do it and that, on the other hand, you hoped I won^t do it. The hardest fight of all fights, so to speak.
So you remained silent and took a sip of the champagne.
Simon looked from Jason to you and back again before he turned to Michael and asked : « Hey, can I talk to him, please ? »
« Of course you can. » Michael answered « Go ahead ! »
The tall singer rose from his stool and squattet down in front of the kneeling man.
„Thank you, Jason, that we are allowed to be part of it here, yeah? And I feel honored that you like me and all, but I have to tell you, I am really not into men. I know that sounds odd, after you have heard all the stories about us , aboutYas, Roger and me. It^s^s Roger. Only Roger, and it will ever only be Roger.“
„Hmpf!“ Jay nodded and then he started to crawl until he reached Mike and he bent down his head to touch his Dom^s shoetip with his forehead.
I saw your eye-roll, Roger!
„Here we go!“ Michael smiled warmly at his sub, immediatly ungagged him and pulled him up into a kiss.
„Thank you, master“
Another Roger-eye –roll for that.
Simon was a little puzzled as he rose and went back to his chair.
You poured Jay a glass, but before he took a sip he turned to Simon « Thank you to be so honest, Simon, but you got me wrong. Even Michael got me wrong here. Yeah, it^s true, I like you. I think you are gorgeous and I have never seen such beautiful blue eyes like your^s, but it^s not that I..I mean, I don^t want to have sex with you or something, really.It was…it^s more ..seeing you touching Roger…or the imagination of what else you did…wow. » with that, he grabbed his glass and emtied all at once.
« Aha¨ » Simon laughed. « So, in other words, you^d like to watch, huh? We are a bunch of voyeurs here, aren^t we? Give this man another drink, I have found me a soulmate , have to drink on that!“
You went into the kitchen for more champagner and I followed you as you weren’t back in five minutes, too much time to take a bottle out of the fridge,right?
I found you leaning at the counter, thoughtfully biting your lower lip, an unmistakeable sign that you mulled over something.
You nearly jumped when you noticed me and your ears reddened.
« Ah. Sorry…I.. » you grabbed the bottle and wanted to leave, but I stopped you.
« What is it ? »
« Nothing. I..nothing » you stuttered.
„Tell me. According to the color of your ears it’s a very interesting nothing!“ I smiled and lifted your chin so that you had to look at me.
„I …I was wondering what you had planned for Saturday and…it^s been a while since the last time with the Bonbons and..I^m touched by what Si has told Jay and I think I^d like that.“
Knowing quite well what you were talking about I clutched your hair and pulled your head back. „You^d like what?“
„Jason watching us“ you gasped.
„And what exactly is it what Jason shall watch?“
„Whatever you want to do with me, or what you want me to do with you. You two, You and Simon. » you said quietly.
« Whatever we want ? » I grinned devilishly. „Are you sure about that?“
« Yes » you whispered. « Yes, Nick »
« Go and clean yourself. Wear the leather pants , only the leatherpants and bring our bag. I expect you back in 30 minutes!“
Holy cow! Even i like it when it^s out of the blue!
„As you wish“ And with that, you rushed off.
*Great, Nick! Maybe you should have asked the others first, huh?*
I took the champagner and returned into the living room.
« I hope the gentleman..and the lady,of course, are in for some action here, because Roger^s strong liking for *out of the blue* has taken over me totally out of the blue` » I grinned .
« I looove it when dreams are coming true ! » Jay chuckled and glanced at Simon.
« Ah, Jason, you know what ? If I^d be really really cruel, I would blindfold you now ! » Mike smirked and the shocked expression on Jay^s face made us laugh.
I told them about our talk in the kitchen and of course, everyone was in it for.
Simon, in particular, looked like he^d chuffed to bits and came out with a few ideas. Very good ideas.
« Oh Michael ! Michael, please, no blindfold, please !“ Jay whined and my friend pulled him close and smiled „ I won^t. I too love it when your dreams are coming true, dear“

Exacly 30 minutes after you had left the kitchen you appeared into the living room again. Like always, I savored the sight of leather on skin and your muscled torso
Wordlessly you dropped the bag beside me and kneeled down where Jay had kneeled before.
You were completely in your little bubble, quiet and peaceful.
But this time, Roger, this time we would let that bubble burst and you won^t lock things up inside. We^d force you to leave the comfort zone.This would be the hardcore version of what happend the other night and we^d comfront you with yourself. Truth or dare.
Si took the first step, as discussed.Like at the first time in Wales, he sat behind you, not knowing that he was mirroring Michaels part from the other night almost perfectly.
He pulled your head back and you gave in, eyes closed, lips parted, a beautiful picture of submission that gave me shivers.
« You didn^t say much about our quality time together, Roger. Was it not to your liking ? » he said quietly.
„It was…very much to my liking“ you whispered.
« Ah. I thought so when you begged me to fuck you harder! Do you remember that? How you begged and how you screamed with pleasure when I did what you wanted so desperately?“ His hands wandered down to your tighs, he pushed your legs apart and pressed one hand against your crotch.“Tell me, drummer boy, do you remember that?“
Wow, he was good! He was really good!
„Yesss“ you hissed and your head fell back against the singer^s chest.
„Yes? Yes what?“ he blurted and slapped you hard between your legs.
This was going to be very interesting here. We seemed to have triggered the man^s sadistic skills.Well, you did, at least.
Quite a long way from where he was coming from.
Your eyes flew wide open with surprise. The hit couldn^t have been very painflul through the leather, but still…it was the gesture that had caught you off guard.
„I remember!“ you gasped. „I remember!“
« Your cock obviously remembers it, too » Si grinned as he rubbed his palm over the bulge in your pants. « You are one greedy randy thing, aren^t you ? »
« Uh..I am. »
You were still doing it. Giving answers without speaking out the subject. I remember. I am. Yes.
We^d have to work on that.
I got me an ashtray, sat crosslegged in front of you, far enough away that you won^t be able to touch me,and lit a cigarette. Fixing you with my gaze I said ;“ I^m actually not very amused about the fact that my beloved husband is so turned on by other men“
Simon immediately got it and he smiled broadly at me as he opened the flyer of your pants and let a hand slit inside.
„Very turned on, I would say“ he confirmed.
I shook my head slightly « Well, I guess the one I^ve married is an oversexed man slut, huh ?Tell me,Charlie, what should I do about that ? »
« To be honest, Nicholas, I really love that he^s so oversexed and I^m dead keen on him . » his other hand found one of your nipples and he squeezed it so hard that you yelped. »Wow, Nick ! His cock gets even harder from pain ! »
« Yeah. I know that. He likes it the rough way.An oversexed pain slut he is » I sighed.
There it showed. Your fight. Knowing that you couldn’t say anything against it since you were turned on and you were with no doubt into pain, you closed your eyes to escape from my gaze and your face went red with shame.
„He^s also very good with giving head, huh? I mean…you, Carlos, me…seems he really likes to suck cocks » Si^s hand was still in your pants and we all saw him stroking up and down .
„Oh yes, he loves that. And he^s so talented, isn^t he?“I smirked and stubbed out the cigarette. „We should demonstrate that, I bet that Michael and Jay are not believing it“
„Oh please!“ Michael smirked „ You ^ve got to be fucking kidding me here! Roger? *I^m so not a cliche*- Roger gives head? On his knees? With a collar? No way!“
„ He was on all fours, I tell you! And he even sucked a monster strap-on-dildo! Right, Yassie?“ Simon smiled at his wife.
„ Yeah, he did, I swear!“ she chuckled by the memory and you let out a small whimper that expressed your discomfort pretty well.
„After I had fucked him with it, that was“ she added. „And while he sucked a rubber penis my husband fucked him“
Convulsive shudders went through your body as you were fighting with those contradictory emotions. With no doubt that was a very humiliating situation for you. Especially because everything we had said so far was nothing but the truth. So you had to face that part of yourself here you were still not very comfortable to talk about loud.Still your cock was rock hard and it was obvious that you enjoyed this, as conflicting as it was.
„ And when Nick slapped him right into the face he came so hard that everything was covered in cum. Dear, that was a mess! And it was only the first orgasm of…what…four? Five?“ Simon explained .
„Oh dear god!“ Jay gasped „ Really? You are one lucky bastard, Roger ! »
« Did you hear that, drummer boy ? Lucky bastard!“ the singer grinned as he pulled your head back again. „ Look at me, lucky bastard“
You didn^t want that, your eyes remained closed, you tried to shook your head despite Si^s grip and an almost loudless * no* escaped from your lips.
« Oh Oh, Nick ! Your husband is not very cooperative here“ Charlie sighed in frustration.
„Was that a *no* Roger? Have I heard that right?“ I asked, my tone all calm and quiet.
„I…Please, I can^t. « you shuddered .
« Whatever you want , you said. Whatever Simon and I would like to do with you or want you to do with us. Now we want you to open your eyes. Quite a simple task, hm ? » I had come nearer to you with every word and now i was whispering in your ear. „Open your eyes. Now“
And you did.

Let^s say a very interesting morning turned into a very interesting afternoon which turned into an even more interesting evening and after all I was all thankful for that studio power loss as if what happened that day was much more than I had in mind for the weekend and again it proved that some things just can^t be planned.
As it had been very intense and you never were so deep into sub space with me before, we decided that it was an important thing to bring you back to normal together, and while the others ordered pizza you, Simon and I went to the bathroom.
We were holding you between us until you stopped from shaking. All others had only been voyeurs, even Yas. She was too afraid to participate in this kind of game, but she knocked at the door the moment we stepped out of the shower to bring our clothes.
You remained very quiet and still avoided eye contact with everyone when the pizza arrived and we all sat around the table.
All of us tried to act as normal as possible, but you couldn^t get back completely.
It was just when I started to really worry about that when your mobile played * save a prayer* and you left the room to answer the call.
About half an hour later you came back and your whole expression had changed. You smiled and winked at us. « I^m back »
We got the deeper meaning behind your words and Simon asked « Who was it ? »
« it was Mister Rodriguez » you grinned.
„Oh dear! I haven^t seen him for ages! How is he?“ Jason wanted to know.
„Oh…fine, I guess. A bit sore right now. Is there some beer left?“ you looked around the table and chuckled quietly.
„No!“ Yasmin jumped from her chair. „ Is it what i think it is?“
„You are so smart, angel face demon“ you laughed.
„No way!“ I blurted and Simon and I could^t stop giggleing.
„Er…what are you talking about ?‘“ Michael looked from one to another.
„Our dear Carlos has lost his virginity » Si grinned.
« Yep. Finally . Ah, you know what ? I^ll skip the beer and go for Carlos^special mix. Who^s in?“ You went for a bottle of the strong liqueur and we raised the glasses to Carlos.
„Looks like my dear friend and I both had a very intense day.“ You smiled coyly and I pulled you close, very relieved that you started to talk about what had happened before. „ You will kill me one day, though. They are one hell of a team, Jay, aren^t they?“
„Duh!“ the man laughed. „ As I said: you lucky bastard!“
„There^s more than just one oversexed little pain slut here today, I assume“ Mike smirked and ruffled his boyfriend^s hair.
„You bet!“ Jason chuckled .
And then we talked.

We finished the album that weekend , you and I stayed in bed for almost 24 hours when it was done, as we were very exhausted and out of energy. It was so good to have you near, to just hold you and feel you. Somewhere in the back of my mind there was that knowledge about the things you^d told me that evening when Mike and Jay came for a visit and I never felt so confident before about the whole D/s- thing. I finally had the feeling of knowing you completely at this point, especially after Simon and I had brought you to your limits and way over them. Time for something completely *normal *, and so we took a time off before the album promotion would start and you and me flew to Antigua again with the whole LeBon-family.

We had rent a house for all of us,right at the beach. I still prefered the pool to the ocean and Simon and I lay on deckchairs, watching the girls playing around in the water.
Yas and you were gone to buy some groceries and stuff.
The sun was shining and life was all beautiful.
„Too bad you can’t leave the door open here“ Simon winked. „ Much to my regret this is way too dangerous. But hey, if you two need some time alone, we could take the girls and have a nice day out or something »
« Very kind of you, Charlie ! » I laughed „ But we are all ok, as long as Roger^s cries of pleasure are not too much for the girls“
« Ah. I don^t think so. They will mock him a bit about that, though.“he grinned. „ and so will I“
„ I^m pretty sure he can handle this“ I chuckled.
„He seems to be very relaxed and confident . I have to admit that the evening with Michael and Jason was almost too intense for me. I mean, holding him and realizing how bloody uncomfortable he has been…that was hard.“
„You were brilliant, Si! This uncomfortableness is a parodoxon when it comes to SM. Hard to explain. Not feeling well with something sometimes feels well in that context. It^s about leaving the comfort zone and facing yourself.A part of yourself, at least.“
„ Yeah, i understand that, He explained it very well afterwards . It^s just that sometimes I have to look at Rog , thinking, uh, did this really happen? I mean..there^s that sweet guy who plays with Lulah or does homework with Saff and then…“
„..there^s this little greedy pain slut, yeah.“ I grinned. „it^s not easy to find a way to live everything of that, I tell you. Nothing really happened after that evening, you know? You have seen what it does to him and it^s hard to bring him back, so something like that has to be handled with care.“
„Hell, yes, he really scared me! So good that Carlos called. This man has a bloody good timing!“ Simon agreed. „I thought that collar-event was intense, but this whole humiliation-thing goes way further than that.“
„Indeed. This is nothing one should do very often. So, hey, we are on vacation with the family, huh? No place for that. I^m happy with my sweet,lovely and sexy husband here.The sub can take some time off now. Ah…speaking of the devil..“ I smiled as Yas and you stepped out of the terrace door.
And how lovely, sweet and sexy you were! Slightly tanned again, in those very short shorts and a muscle shirt, smiling all over.
„Drinks anyone? We brought tons of juices and rum!“ you bent down to kiss me and I pulled you close, enjoying the warmth of your skin and the sweetness of your mouth.
„Look, the world champions of snoggling again“ Saffron, who came out of the pool to join us, giggled.
„Any complaints, Saffron LeBon?“ you mumbled against my neck.
« Ah, naaah. You two are so sweet ! If only you would let us sleep at night!“she chuckled. „ This is Roger. Roger is very nice and sweet, and he never gets loud. Only for two occasions…one of them is drumming!“
„Har har!“ you blushed a little, but had to chuckle yourself. « And this is Saffron. Saffron will be very loud in a few » with that you grabbed her, threw her over your shoulder as if she^d weight nothing and jumped into the pool with her.
« Woooah ! Don^t mess with the LeBon-sisters » Amber yelled and the girls tried to to dive you under.
With lots of laughters and screams the girls and you playfully fought around in the water and the LeBon-couple and I were watching with big cheesy smiles.
„This time out was a brilliant idea!“ Yassie beamed.
Yes, it was fantastic. All of it.
When we had finished dinner later and finally were sipping our cocktails under the stars, Saffron elbowed me and asked: „Do you think that gays are more focused on sex than heteros?“
„Yeah, obviously!“ Amber blurted.
„Hell, Saff, what kind of question is that?“ I laughed.
„My teacher said so. We talked about homosexuality in school and he told us that gays are…hm…what was the word again…“
„Oversexed‘?“ you suggested, grinning broadly, and we broke out in laugher.
„No…I can^t remember, but he thinks men in general are more interested in sex than women , so ..well, they change partners more often and all. Do you think it^s true?“ she wanted to know.
„First…I think if someone is more or less interested in sex does not depend on gender or sexual orientation. Second, about changing partners…maybe he^s right, But I think this is because many gays are still not out of the closet and live it out secretly.Personally I think that sex is very important in a relationship, but rather unpleasant when you change partners a lot. » I tried to be as honest as i could .
« I agree » Simon grinned. « I think sex gets better the more you know each other. With every new partner you have to find out again about likes and dislikes. Still, Saff, this is a very personal question and it^s a bit obstrusive to ask such things, huh ? »
« But why do gays meet in darkrooms and public toilets and such? This is disgusting, isn^t it?“ she continued, totally overhearing her dad.
„Yeah, it is“ you chuckled and I knew you were thinking about the try for the toilet stalls. „Saffron, I think people have their reasons to do what they do and we shouldn^t judge them. As Nick said, a lot of gays are, sadly enough, living out their sexuality secretly, so they need those…let^s say, meeting points.And many people, gay or hetero, think that sex is somehow more thrilling with many different partners. If they are happy with that, why not?“
„Yeah…but AIDS and such..why risking your life for a few minutes of pleasure?“ she wondered.
« Oh well…you know,I^m pretty sure that gays are practicing more safer sex than heteros, because the risk to catch something is indeed much higher. » you explained.
« Uh, yeah…that^s what Mister Talbot said. Due to changing partners and…certain practises.“ Saff blushed deeply.
„At least you Mr Talbot is right here.“ I nodded and realized that the girl was very worried, which was kinda sweet, i think, as it showed how much she cared.
You noticed that as well and smiled at her „ Hey, Saff, remember the talk we had after your lovely uncle showed up? There^s no need to bother, ok? All healthy and fit here, I assure you!“

When we finally went to bed that day we talked about Saff^s concerns.
„I sometimes forget that she is so grown-up“ you sighed as you snuggled against me. „Good thing that they are learning about such things in school, though.“
„Not if Mr Talbot is telling his students that we are all unresponsible sex maniacs and scares Saffron to death“ I responded.
„True!“ you chuckled „ We are responsible sex maniacs, aren^t we ?Sometimes it^s a bit odd to be around Yas and Si with the girls. My, if they^d ever find out…I think I^d die!“
„They won^t. How should they?“ I raised up to one elbow, glancing down at you. « Do you feel uncomfortable ? I mean, is there a problem ? »
« Ah, no, not really. It^s just…sometimes …i remember things and then I caught Simon grinning or Yassie staring and I know they are thinking about the same. Feels thrilling at one hand, on the other , with the girls around, it^s…I don^t know. Not right.“
„As long as they can^t read our minds, thoughts are free, hm? We won^t take any risks at that point. » I let my fingers run through your hair and you started to purr like one big cat. « Have i ever told you, Nick, how much i love that ? How much I love that, beside all those intense experiences , it is still such a pleasure to be simply near you? To touch you and being touched by you? It was like that from the very beginning on, wasn^t it?“
„It was and it will never change, my Roger.“ We kissed deeply and for once the Lebons in the other room kept everyone from sleeping and we were , as Saff had said, the world champions of snoggling.

„Morning!“ Yasmin greeted me when I came into the kitchen and we hugged.
„Where is everyone?“ I wondered.
„Si and Lulah went for fresh bread for breakfast, Saff and Amber are on a beach run with Roger. So it^s just us“ she grinned.
„Ah, isn^t it peaceful and quiet for once? » I chuckled and got me a coffee. « Terrace ? » I sugessted and we stepped out in the sunshine.
„Have you noticed that you had a visitor tonight?“ the model smiled.
« No…Lulah, I guess?“
„Yeah. Roger wrote me a note that she just crawled into your bed in the middle of the night, in case we^d miss her.“ She chuckled. „Is that ok for you? That she sleeps in your bed?“
„Sure. If it^s ok for you. We use to sleep naked, huh ? But no worries, if we have other things in mind than sleeping, we^ll lock the door. I have learned my lesson!“I chuckled.
„It^s kinda funny, isn^t it? The whole LeBon-family loves you so much!“ she lay an arm around me, grinning all over.
„And we love all you LeBons . Despite Jonathan.“I kissed her.
„Uh, just imagine he would know.“ She laughed.
„You are hanging around way too much with those sissies.“ I snorted and we were still laughing when Charlie and Talullah came back.
„ Oh, look, they are having fun without us here!“ Si smiled.“What^s so funny?“
„I just said…“ Yasmin gasped „ Imagine Jonathan would know…“ No further explanations needed. Si raised his brows in the very best Roger-way, giggling like mad and the littlest LeBonling just joined in the laughter.
All easy here.
„Your husband is a bloody machine! Or an alien or something“ Amber panted not much later when the three of you were back, all sweaty. „ Holy cow! I need a shower. And food. Pretty sure i can^t even walk until tomorrow ! »
« Amber Rose ! We will go surfing in the afternoon, did you forget ?“ you chuckled and slapped her with a towel.
„Bloody machine!“ she snorted and went inside for the shower.
„Amber has absolutely no condition.“ Saffron grinned. « I^m all in for surfing today ! Anyone else?“
„Thanks, but no, thanks! Come here, machine man, I^d rather go for the snoggling championship“ I smiled
Laughing that beautiful laugh of your’s , you pulled me into your amazing arms for a very proper kiss.
Oh my, I think i have a *sweatyRoger* -fetish. Beside all the other Roger-fetishes.
We had breakfast together and dispite her worries Amber was still able to move that day, as we went for a walk together later , while Simon, Saffron and you had a swim in the ocean and Yas took a nap with Lulah.
„How are things with Daniel? Haven^t seen him for a while.“ I wondered.
„Hm. He^s ok. I^m just glad to have a time off now, he can be quite annoying“ she sighed.
« Oh ? That sounds a bit frustrated, Amb. What’s the matter ? »
« I don^t^s …hm. Kinda boring. We don^t have that much in common, I think. I have expected more.Can I ask you something? You and Rog..I mean…you are very different, aren’t you? He likes sport, you don^t. You like arts, he don’t. What do you do together ? What do you share ? Dispite the sex, har har!“
„Yeah, we are indeed different. But I don^t think that^s something bad, you know ? It^s about learning from each other, about completing each other.And there are a lot of things we share, though. The music. Political beliefs, beliefs in general. Every once in a while we use to stay awake the whole night to talk. Or watching movies. Whatever. We are just enjoying to be near to each other. He accompanies me to art exhibitions and stuff and hell, do i like to watch him during his work outs“ I grinned.
„Uh. You surely do!“ she chuckled. « What^s your secret, though ? What is the secret of a good relationship ? »
« Talking, i^d say. Being honest to each other.As hard as it is sometimes. Speaking out your needs.Your fears.Your wishes. Just never stop talking. Once you stop talking, it^s over“ I took her hand. „ Both have to work on it“
„That^s the point. I feel like i^m the only one who does the work. Who talks.He^s just interested in the sex-part, and not even that is…well, it^s kinda boring. It^s always the same.He^s not…uhm…very creative.“ She blushed
„Oh. Have you told him that?“
„Of course not! What should I say? You^re boring, Danny? I still don^t know what an orgasm is? I mean…I know…but not…er…not with him. I thought we^d find out things together..but he seems to be happy with the way it is. There should be more…more than…well…“ she stuttered.
„I understand. Amber, you have to talk about that. Really ! I know it^s not that easy and it^s maybe a bit embarrassing and all, but if you want to change things, you have to talk!“
„What if he thinks I^m perverted or something?“
„Wanna borrow my fangs, Lady Heather?“ I chuckled and pulled her close. „What is it, Amber Rose?“
„Naaaah, nothing like that. Just… i want him to be more focused on my needs. It^s always about what he likes.“
„ Well, at first he has to know about your needs then, huh? Again, you have to talk! You can^t expect that he`s reading your mind »
« You^re right » she sighed. « But it isn^t easy. Really not »
« I know. Believe me, I know » We smiled at each other.
„ I^m glad that I can talk to you about such things“
„And i^m glad that you trust me that much!“ Hand in hand we went back to the house.

In bed at night we talked about the girls yet again.
„Poor Amber. All this confusion“ you said quietly , your head resting on my chest.
« Yeah, I really don^t miss those teenage days » my fingers played with your hair, like always, and we both realized once more how blessed we were.
« Me neither » you sighed. « She^s tough, she^ll make it, though »
« Of course she will. As brave as she is. »
« She^s so much like her dad » you chuckled.
„Because she has a crush on you?“ I laughed.
« No, really, temper and all, don’t you think ? » you gave me one of those Roger-looks.
„True. So maybe it^s more *poor Daniel* than *poor Amber*“ I agreed.
„Ha! She^ll let out her inner Lady Heather, grabbing him by the balls and telling him what she wants,I bet“ you grinned broadly and we both broke out in laughter. So we didn^t hear the knock at the door and were a bit surprised when the door swung open and the girl we had just talked about stood there.
„ Er..can I come in?“ she asked coyly.
„ Would you give us a minute, Amb?“ I said. Well, being naked in bed with Lulah was one thing, with a sexual active teen who^s having a crush on you it^s maybe not such a good idea.
„Sure“ she stepped back and closed the door . We put on some pants, at least and you invited her in again.
« Er…is that ok ? I .. I can^t sleep and..I wanted to ask you for a cigarette. Don^t tell dad, he^ll kill me » she crawled into bed between us and you reached for the ciggs on the nightstand.
„Your secrets are safe here“ you assured her and she smiled:
„ This is well appreacheated, duh!“
„So, what^s biting you?“ I asked, lying an arm around her.
„Daniel.“ she sighed.
„Really? Daniel is biting you?“ you grinned and she rolled her eyes at you.
„Oh, thanks very much! It took me ages to get this image out of my head, you plonker! Ack! Daniel would never…Daniel does nothing, actually.Nothing but fucking and getting blow-jobs, to be exact!“ she blurted and went all pink.
„Sounds a bit egoistic, if you^d ask me » you said, all serious.
« You bet ! I mean, he could at least…er…return the favour, uh ? I shouldn^t have to tell him that. He should know , don^t you think?“ she whined.
„ Hm… it ok when i^m here or should i leave you two alone?“ you wanted to know,
„ I want to talk to you both, if you don^t mind. If you…if you are comfortable with it »she said and looked you straight in the eyes.
« All right then.See, Amber, sure, he should know. But men are simple when it comes to sex .Most of them, at least. They are all excited until they come, and afterwards they are brain dead idiots who can’t think of anything else than sleeping » you explained and the girl laughed hysterically.
«Brain dead idiots, huh ? » I snorted and slapped the back of your head.
« Present company excluded » you grinned. « What I^m trying to say is…you come first, Amb. Literally ! Or give him a few minutes to recover. It^s not his fault that it is like that, it^s kinda biolocical or whatever…and it sucks big time at that age, if I remember that right. Anyway, like Nick said : You have to talk »
« And…what if he says something like…uh…I don^t like that and i don^t wanna do it?“ Amb worried.
„Then“ I grinned devilishly „ just stay cool and say, ok, if you don^t want that, i don^t do blow-jobs any more. He^ll change his mind in a second, I bet!“
„Your godfather is plain evil, Amber Rose“ you whispered.
„Yeah, he is“ she giggled „ Darn! I wish we^d have something to drink!“
„Oh. I^ll take care of that. Do you think Amb is ready for the Carlos special, Nick ? » you jumped out of the bed without waiting for an answer and left.
„I don^t want him to do things that he doesn^t like.“ Amber turned to me. „ i^m not like you!“
« You think I make Roger do things he doesn^t like? Oh Amber, i don^t! You can^t force people to do things they really don^t like ! My, we have to talk about that sometimes. But now it^s about you, hm ? And I know what you mean. You want him to enjoy that, not to perform some kind of duty.“
„Yeah, that^s it. And I^m so afraid that he will be disgusted or something.I^d be so so embarrassed.“ She sighed and leaned her head against my shoulder.
„You two are cute“ you smiled when you came back with the schnapps. „I skipped the glasses. It^s best directly out of the bottle, I tell you.“
About an hour later a slightly drunk Amber went to her room and I carefully locked the door behind her. „ What was it about brain dead idiots, Taylor?“
„ It^s Taylor-Rhodes, actually.“ You grinned. „and I said that present company is excluded!“
« You will be so very brain dead tonight, I swear ! » I smirked and was in bed again in a split second.

You were gone in the morning and I found Charlie, Yas, Lulah and Amber at the terrace having breakfast.
„Oh, everyone^s awake yet“ I smiled „ Good morning! Saffron and Roger are running again, I guess?“
„ Good morning, my arse!“ Simon blurted. « Thank you so much for a sleepless night, Rhodes!“
„It^s Rhodes-Taylor actually » I chuckled « What the hell is the problem, LeBon ? »
„Lulah was all pissed that you locked the door and we had a really bad time, huh?“ Yasmin explained, rubbing her eyes.
„It^s not their fault, mom.They were completely brain dead! It^s biolocical or something“ Amber said and we bursted out in laughter.
„ Whatever this is about…i^m going back to bed“ Charlie grunted. „ Coming with me, Yas? I^m sure Nick will look after Lulah!“
„As Sir Simon wishes!“ I bowed deeply and couldn^t stop laughing.
„ Ah, fuck off!“ he grinned and the couple went inside.

Once Saff and you were back, we left a note for Yassie and Si and spent the day at the beach.

Chapter Text

Way too soon we had to be back to business, and the days were filled with interviews and TV appearances and such.Again we hardly found some time alone and when i had yet another radio interview with JT you texted me * Wales. I need Wales*
Yeah, I needed it, too, but no chance.
Well, at least we could text each other, how thrilling.
*if Wales would be possible, my Roger,tell me what you^d like to do there*
*There^s something in my head for quite a while. Something we have never done and we didn^t even talk about. I will tell you tonight , yeah?*
If you wanted to have me all excited, you scored big time, I tell you! I was very distracted the whole day Something we didn^t even talk about ? I thought we had talked about everything, really.

It was nearly ten at night when I unlocked the front door and I had to smile to myself as I noticed by the smell that you had cooked something , even if you had been as busy as I.
„Bloody machine“ I chuckled and stopped dead in tracks when I reached the kitchen.
„Oh? What^s that? Did I miss something? Christmas? Easter? Birthday? Anniversary?“ I wondered. White tablecloth, , candles, champagne and an all over beaming husband.
„Nah! I just thought we should have some quality time. Take a seat . Mr Rhodes-Taylor, we^ll start with a mousse of beetroot and ginger..without any ultierior motives, I swear, it just fits very well ! »
« No , handsome, we^ll start with a proper kiss here, yeah ? You are amazing, Roger!“
It was fantastic. The food, the drinks, the conversation, everything. You^d outdone yourself with the dinner, really.
It was so good that I almost forgot about the * We didn^t even talk about it* -thing.
I was sipping the coffee ( with some Bailey^s in it) when it crossed my mind.
„Before it will kill me, Roger, what is it?“ I smiled and reached for your hand.
„Hold on. I need some Carlos^special here » you smiled as you blushed a little.
« Oh. That bad ? » I chuckled.
„ I have no clue if you think it^s bad. I feel like Amber here, I tell you!“you went for the bottle and shot glasses
„Dear god, Roger! Out with it!“ I laughed, nearly dying from curiousity.
„ Uhm..where to start…I talked to Darren a few days ago. Best regards, by the way…and he was all hyper because of that…i quote him here…* mindblowing experience * he just had and he couldn^t stop talking about it and it kind of seeped into my brain and I have to think about it all the time….“
„ Roger Andrew Taylor-Rhodes! What is it?“
„ He got fisted“ you said quietly.
Oh, Aha,
The thought of that alone sent shivers down my spine as soon as you had spoken it out.
« Nick, have you ever… » you stuttered and your dark brown eyes met mine. „ have you?“
„No. I never have done that.“ I whispered, completely taken aback by the feelings rushing over me.
„Me neither. I…I never thought about it, even. But…now that I do… » with your eyes fixed at mine, you let out a shaky breath.
« It gives me shivers all over, Roger » I said, matter of factly.
« Me too » your voice was barely above a whisper and we just sat there for a while, staring at each other.
« don^t think it^s..disgusting or something ? » you finally asked and your hand trembled as you poured us another shot.
« Hell, no ! » I blurted and we had to laugh.
Sleeping was not an option that night. We talked until the morning and emptied a whole bottle *Carlos^ special*, what turned out as not such a very good idea when Simon picked us up at eight in the morning for yet another interview. He laughed his ass off as we entered the car.
„Uh-oh, some of us had a rough night, eh?“ he grinned.
„Ah, shut up, Si!“ you blurted and …oh wonder ! …he did.
After somewhat 4 different interviews we finally had a break and when you went for some coffee he asked „ Bad mood or what?“
„No. Not at all. We just got really drunk and talked the whole night.“ I didn’t want to tell Simon about the reason. I needed someone experienced here. Shortly I thought of calling Darren. But as much as I like him, we were not THAT close. I found myself staring at my hands several times and wondered if it^d be even possible. To be inside you. With the whole hand. Ack! Sure it^d be possible. I have small hands for a man, huh? But still…the thought thrilled and scared me at the same time.
You had another TV appearance in the evening, together with JT and Ands and i watched the live show at home, grinning all over.
You were so sexy, my Roger! So charming and witty and just…you.
I did some internet research and read some reports about fisting before I finally called Michael. He had some very helpful advices.
Two weeks after our talk I went to the pharmacy and made some other preparations which included a meeting with a very surprised Tracey.
We had an intense night, you and me, nothing SM, just pure wild and honest sex, and I woke you up with a cup of coffee very early the next morning.
„Roger.“ I kissed all the way down your neck to your chest „Roooogerrrr“
„Hmmmmm“ you purred and pulled me close.
« I brought coffee. Have to go for one last bloody interview.Make sure that you don^t have any plans for today, yeah ? I will be back around 6.Wake up, honey, please. There^s something you have to do as soon as possible » I whispered.
« Huh ? » your eyes fluttered open and you asked, quite puzzled . « what ? »
„Tonight^s the night, my Roger.“ I kissed you again.
„Wha..oh!“ you had spotted the small bottle on the nightstand and that look in your face was simply adorable.
„You still want this, don^t you?“ I asked, cupping your cheeks with my hands.
„Yes. So very yes!“ you whispered.
„You^ll have to drink that, Roger, ok? It^s probably really disgusting, but it^s indispensable. I am sorry for that. I tried to buy the pleasantest stuff and the pharmacist suggested that. It^s a concentrate. All rank, but… »
« Hey. » you said quietly. « it^s ok. I won^t die. »
„Hopefully not“ I smiled and we kissed deeply before I left.
I felt like filled with gas , like i would float or something. Simon gave me some strange looks and he finally asked „ Are you high or what?“
„Nah. Of course not. Just…plans for tonight“ i winked and he smiled broadly „Aha! That explains it!“
After the last picture was taken, i went for a manicure.
I didn^t want to wear a glove . I wanted to feel you. As much as I could.So my nails had to be short, soft and smooth, no sharp edges or something.
When i reached our house, i had to stop at the door bevor i unlocked it to take a few deep breaths.
I was half an hour early and when I finally entered the hallway, you were nowhere in sight. I found you in the living room,headphones on and reading a book. Well, there was a book. But after I had watched you for a few minutes, I realized that you just stared at it. „Roger!“ I shouted and you nearly jumped.
I was by your side in a split second and took you in my arms. „Hey!“ I smiled warmly.
„Hey yourself“ again, that face of your^s…oh god, Roger ! You were so beautiful !
We kissed ever so gently and it felt like you tasted sweeter than ever, that your lips were softer and everything was more intense.
„I have something for you“ I said quietly and handed you the joint i got from Tracey.
„ i don^t want to be stoned, Nick.“
„ It^s not much, Roger. You won^t be stoned, just relaxed. I can already feel your tension, luv!“
„Ok“ you sighed, knowing that I was right.
We smiled at each other while you smoked and when you stubbed the joint out , you grinned broadly.“ My, am I relaxed!“
„My, are you a liar!“ I chuckled. « I^ll get us some champagne. Don^t move ! »
When you took the glas from my hand, you hesitated. „ So well manicured hands, Nick?“
„All soft and smooth, Roger.“ I gently stroked your cheek.
„God, Nick. I want this. I really want to have you all in me“
„And I want to be all in you, Roger.Let^s go to the bedroom, yeah?“ i pulled you up and we kissed again.
In the bedroom i slowly undressed you and as you lay before me, all naked and so overwhelmingly beautiful, I took my camera and shot a few pics.
With fogged eyes you watched me and i realized that you were a bit stoned after all. Which was good.
„Yes, luv?“
„I want you to be naked, yeah? I want to see you.“
„Of course, my Roger. But first I have to leave you shortly, ok? » I took the brandnew bottle of lube out of the nightstand « Will warm that a bit, hm ? »
„You did the same research as i did, i see.“ You chuckled.
„No, i just called Michael.“I admitted and kissed you yet again before I went into the kitchen.
Just a few seconds in the microwave and it was done.
Here we go.
And then i crawled into bed, between your spreaded legs, naked like you.
You purred when I massaged the warm lube into your puckered entrance. „ That^s nice. Feels way better than when it^s icy cold. Ah..“Your head came up when my first finger entered you.
„Lie still, Roger. Lie still and relax“
Slowly I worked you open and you tried to breathe normally in deep, slow breaths.
Wow. I was surprised how much I liked it. It wasn^t about wild sex, it was more spiritual somehow, To feel your trust, how you literally opened up for me and then finally your vertebrae under my fingers…i felt the blood running through your veins and i knew I could easily kill you right now. You were absolutely helpless once I was all into you. My hand was in you and your life was in my hand.
I can^t find words for that, for what it did to me
I closed my eyes and concentrated on all the things i felt under my fingers. Your muscles, the soft skin…dear, I never knew that your inside is so soft…the hardness of your spine. I could feel every single vertebra.
Your heartbeat! I felt your heartbeat!.That was the most fascinating thing. To realize that your whole inside was vibrating in your own rhythm and that I was in you, near to that strong, beating heart.
I felt the pulsing of your veins, all the warmth of your body.
I felt how much you were alive.
That was utterly overwhelming and something i would never have had expected.
„I love you.I love you so much“ i whispered and when i opened my eyes to meet your^s I saw your tears.
I knew it wasn^t about pain. I knew it was the same what i felt
„Roger!“ I gasped. „ Oh my god, Roger!“
„This,,,is…fucking…awesome. Nick, this is…jeeez. Ah!“ you moaned
And i started to move slightly back and forth.
„Holy Jesus…god…oh my god!“ You panted „ Oh my…Nick! Don^t stop that…don^t stop that…oh my..Nick…“
You came with such a force that it felt like my wrist would break of the strong contractions.
I had to force myself to hold totally still until it was over.
Both of us couldn^t speak, couldn^t find words, and we just held each other tight.
Before i drifted to dreamland, i had to smile when i realized that it was exactly the same feeling as after our first night together. My favorite rhythm.

I woke up at 2 a m to find the bed empty and grinned broadly when the smell of food hit my nostrils.
Something mouthwatering, though.
When i entered the kitchen i couldn^t help but laughing. The whole place was a mess and you sat on the floor, surounded by plates and pans and glasses of jam , nougat creme and whatever else.
„ I was starving.“ You explained. « Really ! Needed something of one million calories. I think i scored big time.Pancake ? »
« Oh, Roger ! » i gasped, still breathless from laughter. „Roger! You are simply magnificent, do you know that?“
« Come here, my beloved husband » you grinned and reached out a hand « join me in pancake heaven ! »

„I can’t believe it“ it murmured when I woke up the next time. 7 in the morning and again the bed was empty. „Out for a run, you bloody machine.“
I was right. Out for a run. After only 3 hours or so of sleep.
« Tonight I will tie you to the bed, I swear ! » I said to myself as i went into the kitchen to brew me some coffee.
Ok. According to the fact that the kitchen was all clean, you couldn^t have slept more than an hour after our pancake orgy.
I changed the bedclothes and was all intent on tieing you to the bed the moment you^d come back when i heard the key in the lock.
„We^re having guests for breakfast“ you called. So much for the plan.
„Good morning, best godfather of the entire world!“
Amber.With Daniel in tow.
I admit, it was fun to have them. Looked like Amber had talked to her boyfriend and it turned out quite well.
As soon as they had left i took you by the hand and led you to the bedroom.
„Lie down“ I commanded.
„Er,, Nick, i …“
„ Roger Andrew, you will lie down and get some sleep, or I will tie you to the bed! Comprende?“
„Oh, As you wish, Sir Nicholas!“ you chuckled and in not even 5 minutes you were into dreamland.
I booked a table at the HLTW for the evening and did some laundry. At four i decided to wake you up, but you were already awake and talked on the phone with someone.
Not much later you appeared in the living room.
„You will never guess who has called me!“ you said and pulled me close. « And i love you, by the way.I love you very much ! »
« I love you too, very much. » i smiled « And if i will never guess who called, would you tell me ? »
« Rupert. No joke. His name is Rupert ! »
« And who the fuck is Rupert ? »
„Allan^s former slave boy Rupert. The one we have met in the velvet! I have invited him for dinner, if you don^t mind.“
„Oh, i actually do mind, Roger, because i have booked us a table at Sonya^s and i wanted to spend the evening with you alone. But I^m pretty sure we can change that into a table for three, if slave boy Rupert doesn^t want to eat out of a dog bowl on the floor »I chuckled.
« I don^t think he wants that. I think he called because he^s finally done with that“ you grinned almost triumphantly.
To be honest, i wasn^t in the mood to have a Rupert around. But i knew how important it was for you, so I changed the booking while you brewed us some coffee and then we huddled on the sofa.
„How are you, handsome husband? God, Roger. Amber is right, you are a bloody machine, aren^t you ? »
« I was so hyper, Nick ! You know me, it^s always like that. I …it was…did I hurt you? When i came?“ you looked so concerned that i had to laugh.
„ it was like my wrist would break for a moment, but you don^t have to worry about that, really not. I .. darn…i still have no words! I felt your heartbeat, Roger! I felt YOU!“
„It felt like you held my heart in your hand“ you said quietly.
You are holding my heart in your hands from the first moment on, Roger. I hope you know that!

It was about seven when the doorbell rang and i went to open the door. If i wouldn^t have known who he was, I would never had recogniced the man. The boy, rather.
He could not be much older than 20.
„Hi“ he smiled „I^m Rupert. Thanks for having me ! »
« Good evening, Rupert. Come in. Give me your jacket, please. I^m Nick, by the way »
„ Oh yeah, i know. I know! Wow. I^m excited, really.“
I led him into the living room.
„Have a seat, Rupert. I don^t know what Roger^s doing in the bathroom that long, it^s normally my part. Want a drink ? Beer ? Champagne ? Juice ? »
« Oh…Oh I..champagne, please ! i never had champagne..I…wow »
Dear god. He was so boyish.
« Hey, Rupert, relax ! » I grinned. « We are happy that you^re here. Make yourself comfortable, huh? Mi casa e su casa! I don^t know if Roger has told you, but we are not having dinner here, we are going to a restaurant of a friend. You^ll lke it, i promise »
« Oh…I.. » he blushed deeply. „ It^s…i don^t have any money“
« You are invited, no worries. I^ll go for the champagne, yeah ? If you want to smoke, there^s an ashtray »
When I came back with 3 glasses , Rupert stood in front of the wall with all the photos, which we called our private hall of fame.
„This is…“ he turned to me and smiled. „ I only see happy people here, this is wonderful! Who is that?“
„Oh ,that^s Sonya. The restaurant we^ll visit is her^s. And that^s her boyfriend, Carlos. The two worked at the Velvet with Roger“
„The Velv…ah, that^s this club, isn^t it? Where we met? I^ve only been there once. Glad i was, though.I.. it was some kind of wake up call. Took me a while to end it, but well…here I am!“
„Yeah, here you are!“ it came from the doorway and you crossed the room in no time to take Rupert into a massive bear hug.“Good to see you, man!“
We settled on the sofa and raised the glasses.
Rupert rolled his eyes ecstatically when he took the first sip.
„I like that!Ooooh, i like that!“
„ He never had champagner before“ I explained to you
« Thank you so much ! Woah, I still can^t believe it! I^m drinking champagne in the living room of Nick Rhodes and Roger Taylor of Duran Duran. I^m so excited! Er…can i use the bathroom?“
„ Sure. Second door on the left“ you chuckled and when he left, you broke out in laughter.
„ Oh my fucking god! How old is he? 18? I didn^t realize he is THAT young!“
„Aren^t we used to be babysitters?“ I smirked and you punched me in the belly.
„Nick! Be nice!“
„I am always nice. I^m so bloody nice it hurts! Don^t punch me, drummer boy, huh?“ we squabbled around playfully and didn^t notice that Rupert had come back until we heard him laughing.
„You two are really sweet. I didn^t know…I never thought…“
„That you can have it all?“ you asked, all of a sudden very serious.“Me neither, Rupert, me neither!“
The man…the boy…gulped visibly and then the tears started to flow.
You took him into your arms and I left the room quietly.

About half an hour later we left for the HLTW. You had suggested to cancel it and order some pizza instead, but Rupert was all eager to go. He told us that he actually has never been to a *real* restaurant.
„I don^t think pubs, Burger King or McDonald^s can be called restaurants » he smiled coyly and while we drove to Sonya^s , we learnt that he was born and raised in Sheffield, son of an unemployed steel worker, that his mother died when he was only 10 and that he left his home when he was 16, because his father was not very amused about the fact that his only son was a * bloody fucking assfucker * He also told us that he was homeless since he broke up with Allan two weeks ago, because the man had paid the rent for his small appartement and that he lived in his old, rusty car for now.
We both fell in love with Rupert this evening, I guess.
Not sexual-wise, perish the thought!
We just kind of adopted him. And so, with all the girls around, the LeBon-sisters and your nieces, we became surrogate dads of a lonely and distraughted 19 year old boy, who was freaking out about the fact that a dinner in a restaurant usually has more than one course.
Son and Carlos were all touched when you went into the kitchen with them to tell Rupert^s story, and when we finally left , the boy had a job and a new home, as there was a small unused flat right above the restaurant.
He stayed at our place until his own was ready to live in and it was such a pleasure to have him. All that because he once wore the same collar as you did. Karma has funny ways, huh?
A month after Rupert^s first visit …he had moved into his own place over two weeks ago…we went for dinner to the HLTW again, together with the whole LeBon-clan.
Band business had slowed down and we were enjoying the free time a lot, meeting friends again, doing some re-decoration at home, helping Rupert with his online course for gastronomy and so on. And yeah, we also focused more on a certain part of our relationship.
So, when we sat down at the restaurant table and you winced…just slightly, and i thought no one would have noticed… the boy appeared out of nowhere and secretly handed you another seat pad. Sub conspiracy, har har.
« Hey Rupert ! » Saffron beamed. « How are you ? »
« All fine, Saffy ! Wow, amazing that you all are here! Sorry, I don’t have any time to talk, it^s pretty packed today as you see. »
« Muuuah, he^s cute ! » Saff sighed when he was gone for the drinks.
„Yeah. He is. And he^s gay. Just sayin“ her dad chuckled.
„Dad! I know that! I didn^t mean * oh god I wanna have you*-cute. Just…cute“ she …of course…rolled her eyes.
Sonya came out of the kitchen to greet us and then she took my arm.
„Have to talk to you shortly, yeah?“
We went behind the bar and I hugged Carlos
„Hey! Will be there in a few to say hi to everyone!“ he smiled and I realized how much I had missed those two.
„So, what I wanted to tell you…there^s a party in Brighton again next Saturday. I know, it^s a bit on short notice, but Claire can be very spontanous sometimes and she just called the other day. I thought it would be great to go there again. Ask the LeBons, i would like to have them there. And what do you think? Rupert?“ she was so hyper and beaming that I had to laugh.
„Yeah, great! I^d love that. Will ask Yas and Si. Not sure about Rupert, though.“
« Me neither, to be honest ! Go back to your folks, we have an announcement to make ! » Son was shining like the sun itself .
„Today?“ Carlos wondered. „Are you sure, darling?“
„Oh yes , First…i^m all positive. Second I^d burst into pieces if I won^t tell them ! » she kissed her man and they were definetly in *love sick idiots*-mode today.
Grinning to myself I went back to the table, where Rupert had already served the drinks. We wanted to raise our glasses when Sonya and Carlos stopped us.
„Hey, wait a minute, we^ll give you something to drink to!“ the woman smiled and she took Carlos^hand. „ We are going to marry. And we have to be fast because..“
„You are pregnant!“ you blurted „ Sonya! You are pregnant ! »
« Yes, sweetie, I am. I really am ! We didn^t want to tell you, actually,, because it^s very early yet and well…i^m 43…but hey, i had to! I just had to.“
Your chair hit the floor with a *booom* when you jumped up to pull her into a heartily embrace.
„Jeez, Roger, don^t destroy the interior, please!“ she giggled,
„Holy cow! Sonya! Carlos! Come here, man!“ you three ended into a tearful group hug and the rest of us raised the glasses to the soon-to-be –weds.

Yas and Si came over for brunch the next day and I told them…and you…about the party at Claire^s. I had called Madame in the morning and knew a few more details now.
„The thing is, my dear LeBons, it^s different from the Velvet. We^ll be completely on display, no privacy. And everyone else will be, too, of course. It^s a much bigger place and there^ll be a lot of people. Plus…it^s kind of a motto party.“ I explained.
« Oh please ! No *Night of O » or a slave auction or something like that ! »you snorted.
« An auction would be fun » I grinned. „ I bet you^ll get high bids, handsome! But no, it^s neither an auction nor a night of O, it^s called DDNS. Can you guess what it stands for?“
« Ah, I know…it’s dressed Dom, naked sub. Have been at a party like that before. Did the catering, though. Fully dressed.“ You said.
„Well, this time you definetly won^t be fully dressed, luv.“ I smiled and kissed your neck.
„I^d love to go!“ Yassie beamed. « Si ? »
« All in ! » the singer assured « If Roger is ! »
„I^m so very in!“ you smiled. „ you should call Michael, Nick. He would be very very mad at you if he finds out that there’s another party and you haven^t told him yet again!“
„True! Looks like we^ll have to rent a bus to go to Brighton, huh?“ i chuckled and went for my mobile.

Chapter Text

And we did. Rent a mini bus.
You were driving and the trip alone was all fun. We checked in to the same hotel as last time. Us sharing a suite with the Lebons, Mike and Jay sharing one with Son and Carlos.
We had decided that it won^t be such a good idea to have Rupert around.
„Do you think that fits the occasion‘“ Yasmin worried when she showed up in the main room of the suite, wearing a black evening dress, mermaid style.
„You are stunning, angel face demon! Like always.“ you said, taking her in your arms.
„Where^s your husband?“
„Oh, wait until you see him! He went shopping the other day and wow…just wow!“ she giggled.
As if he^d heard that, Charlie entered the room and what can i say…his wife was ever so right!
Black, tight fitted leatherpants, a brocaded frock-coat and a blue shirt which matched exactly with his eye color.
„Holy cow!“ you muttered. „Wow indeed!“
„I^m impressed, Simon, I^m all impressed!“ I grinned. « And I went shopping, too. I have something for you to complete that outfit just perfectly!“
I went into our bedroom and fetched the walking cane I^d bought for him . it was almost the same one like mine, crop included, just with a different grip.
He couldn^t stop smiling when I demonstrated him the special feature of my gift.
Not much later the others joined us and there were more *wows* . Sonya yet again in her red latex suit …for the time being, she said…Michael in a taylormade leather suit. You, Jay and Carlos were in your casual clothes, of course, but both, Jason and Carlos, were collared and leashed.
Well, time for the accessoire I^d ordered together with your collar back then.
Your eyes widened when i pulled the silver chain out of my pocket but you stood perfectly still as I fixed it at the ring of your special necklace. It wasn^t really a leash, as thin as it was you could tear it apart by one sudden move, still the symbolism was quite obvious.
We opened a bottle of champagne and clinged glasses to a wonderful evening.
And oh my, was it a wonderful evening. A wonderful night. An intense night. A night far beyond expectations.
Claire almost freaked out when we appeared and she promised us free drinks.
The three of you went to the dressing rooms and the rest of us hit the bar for the first round of drinks. The Lebons, who never had seen a place like this before, were all excited and nearly craned their necks to see everything..
People in evening growns and suits, in latex, leather and uniforms. People of all ages, all sizes, all colors.
Naked people, some of them obviously ashamed, some of them all confident and proud of their nudidy.
„This is amazing! Absolutely amazing! Thank you so much!“ Yasmin was all hyper while her husband stared in silence until a quiet „fuck“ escaped from his lips .Carlos, Jay and you had just entered the room and we were not the only ones who had noticed that. Gays were still underrepresented at parties like this, and three very well shaped naked men who held hands and were obviously comfortable to be close to each other was nothing to be seen very often.
„Oooh!“ Sonya sighed. „ I could spent the whole evening just watching them¨
„Hopefully it will be more than that“ Michael laughed.
Of course, i was not the most impartial one at that point, but you were by far the most attractive one of you three, and when you approached us, I pulled you close for an intense kiss.“ My, are you sexy“ I whispered in your ear and reached for the loop of the silver chain dangling from your neck.“So sexy and all mine. And Simon^s, for tonight. He has to learn how to use my present, don^t you think?“
„Uh. If it^s what he wants“you said quietly and buried your nose in the curve of my neck. I chuckled and handed you a cocktail, alcohol free, for once. Then I turned to the singer.
« Would you like to try out the crop ? »
« Absolutely ! » he beamed
« Go ahead then. He^s all yours“ I lay the leather loop of the *leash* in his hand.
„How very nice! I^ve already spotted the best place for that. Need you there with me, though. Finish your drink, drummer boy!“
As soon as you had took the last sip, he guided you to a pillory in the middle of the hall. One you^ll be fixed at doggy style, on all fours, metall cuffs for wrists and ankles, attached to a wooden table , and of course, a board with a hole for your head. I had to smile at the singer^s choice as it was definetly something I would have chosen myself.
We others followed right behind and I helped Simon to close the cuffs properly.
Charlie stepped back when it was done ,looking at you from a distance.
„“I like that. I really like that! Hey, Carlos..oh, wait, I have to ask Sonya first, i guess…Son, dear, I would like Carlos to be near the drummer boy, yeah? Mr Rodriguez, i apologize for being childish and selfish and all and I want to thank you for…well, for you know what.And i know it^s been a while since you have shared things, so if you want to kiss him or something…if you are allowed to do so, that is…you^re all welcome. Is that ok with you, Sonya?“
„Of course, Simon.We appreciate that very much. You have heard Charlie, Carlito. » Sonya kissed her man before he went directly in front of you and we all had to laugh when he gave you one of his famous and long missed hair ruffles. Even you had to smile broadly at that, despite of your helpless position, and I^m sure that if your hands would have been free, you would have pulled him close for a kiss
Yassie took my hand and whispered. „ See, he really has worked on his jealousy, huh?“
„Yeah, obviously!“ I chuckled.
Simon^s hands were trembling when he pulled the crop out of the cane and I was by his side in no time.
„Easy“ I said quietly. „You can watch me first, if that helps“
« That thing looks pretty painful » he whispered. « Shouldn^t we..I dunno…warming him up or something ? »
« Whatever you want, Si. He^s all yours, as I said»
« Uh. Dang. I^m a bit nervous with all those people watching » he freely admitted
„Do you want me to start?“ I asked.
« Yeah…yeah…that^d be cool…I will join in as soon as possible…just need some time to adjust »
We hugged shortly and with one swift move I pulled out my own crop and whipped it across your ass without warning.
Out of the blue, huh ? As you like it.
« Fuck ! » you yelled. « Nick ! »
« No, darling, I won^t fuck you. Not yet, at least“ I grinned and was somehow proud that you had noticed that it was me and not Simon. „Carlos, would you…“ I started and before I could end the sentence, he grinned like a Chesire cat and reached for your cock.
„You know me, don^t you?“ I chuckled and he replied, still grinning all over : « Well, i know him, at least“
Since the space at your head was now unoccupied, Yassie decided to join in and I heard her husband gasp when she let you suck at her fingers.
„ Fuck, that^s hot“ he muttered
A crowd formed around us and I recognized a few familiar faces, people who had been there the last time as well.
When your moans became louder Simon finally joined me and the moans turned into screams whenever Yasmin^s fingers allowed you to be loud and it didn^t take long until you begged for permission to come.
„Your choice“ I said to Simon and he grinned devilishly when he dropped to his knees beside the wooden table.
„Sorry, Carlos“ he said quietly as he waved him aside.
And then…howly cow…he took you in his mouth.
„Jeeez“ Yassie gasped and I knew immediately what this was about.
„My husband is sucking you, Roger! And you are sucking at my fingers, isn^t that thrilling? I wish I would have brought the strap-on, though, Come, Roger! Come now!“
With her fingers in your mouth and Simon^s mouth around your cock you came, your whole body convulsed and the noises you made were just fantastic.
I knew what would happen next, but still i nearly died when Simon rose from the floor, went to his wife and kissed her passionately right in front of you, giving your cum over to her. If that wouldn’t have been enough, the model grabbed you by the hair, bent down and passed the kiss…and the cum…to you.
I almost came into my pants, i swear.
Si cupped your face with his hands and his blue eyes darted into your^s. « Thank you » he said quietly.
« Ah. » you sighed weakly. « The pleasure is all mine, I assure you ! »
You needed some help from Carlos and me to get off of the table and the Lebons took you between them as we went back to the bar all together, where for some reason a bottle of champagne has been already opened for us and an all over beaming Claire leaned at the counter.
« You guys are absolutely awesome, you know ? » she giggled. „ just imagine how much money I could make if i would have filmed that!“
„I would surely buy the uncut version“ Jay grinned and elbowed Simon. „ Not bad for a straight lad, not bad!“
„My hormones are dancing rock^n roll here, i tell you!“ Sonya laughed and for once it was her who ruffled your hair.
„Still mine?“ Simon asked as he took the loop of the chain again and I nodded and said « just let me steal a kiss here, yeah ? »
„ Of course of course!! Just wanted to head for the smoker^s lounge with the drummer boy“ he winked and i pulled you into a deep kiss, tasting the well known mixture of champagne and your semen in your mouth.“ Now rush off“ i smiled when I broke the kiss and you gave me the most adorable *from behind lashes*-look ever before Charlie tugged slightly at the chain and you two went to the lounge.
Again I had to laugh as I looked after you. The very considerable tall singer in his well fitting clothes and you, all naked, fine red lines all across your backside, quite a few inches shorter than him, but nonetheless as handsome as Mr Lebon. Maybe it was that contrast what made you two such a pleasure to look at and for sure there were a lot of eyes following you as you crossed the room.
Son and Carlos left us for a bullwhip session at the nearest St.-Andrews-cross and Mike and Jay followed you for a smoke, what left me at the bar with Yas and Claire.
„ So, how is your first real SM-party so far, angel face demon?“ I wanted to know.
„Fab!“ the model smiled all over. „ Just fab!“
„ Good to hear that!“ Claire chuckled. « I have noticed a special chemistry between you at the wedding, but that…I would never have guessed this chemistry is THAT explosive, so to speak ! »
« Oh hell, yes, the chemistry is just perfect ! it^s been a long way, though. » Yas laughed. « Do you remember your housewarming, Nick, when Simon was utterly shocked about the fact that you have sex at those parties ? »
« Ha ! And you know what ? We have three collared subs here who could give head on their knees!“ I smirked .
„ At least the collars are not identical, so hopefully Roger will not be traumatised again.“ She giggled and we told Claire about the chat we had long time ago.
„Oh. Looks like Jay has been too nosy yet again“ Yas pointed at the group of four who just came out of the lounge door at the other side of the hall. You, Simon, Michael and Jason, of course, the latter on all fours and gagged.
„This bloke will never keep his mouth shut » Claire sighed « Not in a million years ! »
« What has he done ? » I asked when you approached us.
«He tried to sing *wild boys* » Si laughed « and hell, he^s even worse than JT!“
„Is that possible?“ I wondered.
« It is ! Believe me, it is ! » you chuckled. « Thank you very much for solving that, Mike ! Where are Carl…ah…there!“
„Wow! Hell, this bullwhip-thing is all the way impressive!“ Charlie said when he had spotted the couple.“I wanna go closer and watch, yeah?“
So we stood around the cross..Jay kneeled…and you leaned your head against my shoulder.Simon, still holding the loop of your chain, lay one arm around your waist and one around his wife^s as we watched in silence.
Carlos^ screams were quite loud, in no way compareable to the first time he got whipped.
I had to smile at the memory, and as if she^d sensed that, Sonya turned to us.
„Simon, can I borrow Roger, please? I want him to touch Carlos.“
„Sure!“ Charlie gave the loop over to her and I saw your grin as she led you to one side of the cross.
What she did next caught me off guard, though. With one elegant move she threw the chain over one leg of the cross and pulled it taut before she fixed it at one of the cross-attached karabiners.
You had to stand very upright, chin up, your neck beautifully arched. The urgent need to bite you rushed into me in one intense hot wave and I became rock hard by that thought.
„I^ll go for the clamps, man! That screams for the clamps. And your fangs, huh ? » the singer patted my shoulder.
Oh well, yes, the chemistry between us was and still is just absolutely perfect!
Meanwhile you had reached for Carlos`balls and the man gasped „ I have missed that, my dear, oh god, yeah, i^ve missed that!“
Si was back with our equipment in no time, he had brought the whole bag and was grinning all over when he took two pairs of clamps out. His fav ones with the weights. I dived into the bag to look for the box with my fangs and as soon as I had plopped them in we went behind the cross to not getting into the way of Sonya^s whip.
She grinned and nodded slightly when she got the plan and i fixed the clamps at Carlos`nipples , leaving the pleasure of fixing the other ones at your^s to Charlie.
Son interupted her work and came over to get a closer look of your decorated chests and yet again she utterly surprised me when she said: „ I know that he has told you about the strap-on, Roger, and I would be very pleased to watch you fingerfuck him, yeah? If you want. Only if you want“
„ Oh god“ the puerto-rican panted and it wasn^t clear if it was an *oh god, no* or an *oh god, yes please*
Your brows came up and the corners of your mouth twitched slightly when you stroked up and down his length. „ Ah, Mister Rodriguez, that was a *yes*, wasn^t it?“
„Uh“ he moaned, obviously having the same problems like you when it comes to speaking things out loud.
Well, we^d see what you two would make of it, but perhaps I could help Carlos to make up his mind by demonstrating the pleasures of fingerfucking at you, hm?
Son winked at me before she stepped back and let the whip crack.
With a massive *thud* it landed straight to the point between her man^s shoulderblades and she created a perfect cross of red weals on his back. Then another one. And another one.
„Wow!“ Simon breathed
Carlos shut his eyes, threw his head back and howled.
What a nice sound. We should make a duet out of it.
And I bit my fav spot of your neck.
You hadn^t seen me plopping in the fangs and were all surprised by the sharp pain. The scream of your^s was such a turn on for me that I let my fingers glide into your mouth and whispered throaty.“ Make them wet.“
A broadly grinning singer grabbed your cock when I started to penetrate you and you had one hell of a trouble not to leave hold of your dear friend’s balls.
When your thump dissapeared between Carlos`parted lips I turned to Son, as I knew what would happen next.
„Come here and watch that, Sonya.“
Me pushing into you, you pushing into Carlos, your other hand stroking his cock, Simon^s hand on your hardness…the wonderful chaos was complete when Son kissed her man passionately, Charlie leaned in to do the same with you and I bit yet again, feeling the metallic taste of your blood.
You two came almost simultaneously and my, was it a duet!
We freed you from the cross and you held each other, panting and smiling and so not aware of the quite large crowd that had formed around us.Like always we ended in one massive group hug before two all sweaty and sticky friends went hand in hand for the showers and the rest of us hit the bar again.
« Dear god ! » Claire panted « you guys will give me heart attack one day ! »
« Same here ! » Yasmin smiled and pulled her husband close. „Would you ever have guessed that, Charlie? That we^d be at a party like that?“
„Not in my entire life“ he chuckled.
„My, am i glad that you are here! That was fucking awesome!“ Son beamed and kissed both, Yassie and Si, on their cheeks.
The other guests were keeping a safe distance to us and that was kinda strange.
I asked Claire about that, wondering if all the hetero couples would maybe have a problem with such an overdose of gayness.
„Nick! Are you serious?“ she chuckled „ Hm…let me think…what could be the reason that no one dares to come close, huh? Maybe, just maybe it^s because we have at least 3 members of a very well known band and an international super model here?“
„Could be“ Simon grinned „or it is because you are still wearing those literally bloody fangs and you scare them to death!“
„Oh!“ I removed the fake teeth,bowed to the crowd and assured loudly „ We won^t bite, I promise! But beware of the angel face supermodel, she^s utterly utterly evil!“
„Ack!“ Yasmin slapped the back of my head and everyone laughed.
I had to smile when you came back, as you still held hands, both of you beaming all over and yet again a lot of eyes were following you as you walked by.
Somehow the ice was broken now and people started to talk to us finally. One guy who I remembered from the last party grinned broadly at me „Hell, your shows are getting better and better!“
„No wonder! With such a source of inspiration!“ Charlie lay his arms around you and reached for the chain again « Fancy a fag, sweetie ? »
« Yeah, in a minute, Si. If you don^t mind, I have to kiss my husband first. »
« All ok ? » I asked quietly when we broke the kiss und you nodded « Aye, fab. Just needed to touch you, vampire man . Have I ever told you that I fucking love that ?“
„ So do I, handsome“ we kissed again and I bit your lower lip slightly before you went to the smoker^s lounge again with Simon.
„My dear husband seems to love the leash“ Yassie giggled , watching how Si wrapped the chain around his wrist in one very effectful elegant move as he walked.
„I really wonder that Roger is so calm about it. I had expected some resistance here, but no…“ i shrugged.
„You would have liked that, huh? A little resistance?“ she winked.
„Oh yes!“ I grinned „It^s about the fight, you know.“
„ Yeah, since that evening with those two..“ she poiinted at Mike and Jay…“ I know what you mean.Did you think that it would be a bit like when he got the collar?“¨
„No. Just ,,,ah, never mind. I wonder, that^s all“
„ You should show him the meaning“ an obviously ungagged Jay interupted. „Making him more aware of…“
„Jay-sooon.“ Michael hissed „Not your business!“
„That^s a good point, actually!“ I agreed with the sub.
„See?“ he smirked at his Dom.
„Smart ass!“ Mike grinned and kissed him.
„You wouldn^t want it any other way, darling, would you?“ Jason winked.
„No, luv. It^s just you and i love you, huh? Dunno why sometimes, but I definetly do“ Mike chuckled.
I glanced at Carlos and he caught me staring and raised a brow, „What?“
« I had to think about your first meeting .The times where you felt like you^d have to puke are long over, huh ? »
« Isn^t that obvious ? » he laughed and the thought that just had crossed my mind gelled into a plan.
„Be right back“ I said and went to the smoker^s lounge.
My heart was pounding like mad . I dunno what had gotten into me, but I felt utterly aroused and my hardness throbbed almost painfully against the zipper of my pants. Brain refused to work and carnal needs took over.Without a word I stormed into the lounge, snatched the chain from an all surprised singer , grabbed you by the hair and dragged you back to the bar.
A quite puzzled Simon followed right behind,
„Down!“ I blurted as soon as we had reached our friends and the bewildered look on your face as you dropped down to your knees aroused me even more. Still clutching your hair tightly with one hand, I unzipped my pants with the other and buried my cock in the warmth of your willing mouth, „ Aaah“ i moaned, throwing my head back and I would have lost my balance if there wouldn^t have been a solid body behind me and two strong , large hands on my hips. „Easy! I hold you. I hold you“ a well known voice soothed.I never had noticed that Carlos`charming accent thickened very much when he was aroused, and that he sounded like Antonio Banderas then.
You almost gagged at my cock as I fucked your mouth, and for some reason that was exactly what i wanted.You collared and leashed, on your knees, watched by everyone, trying hard to deal with the quite brutal invasion.
You would never admit it, but I knew that you were well aware of your talents when it comes to oral sex, about the fact that you could drive one completely crazy with that tongue of your^s and those perfecly dosed mixture of sucking and licking that you had demonstrated from our first night on.
For once all those talents didn^t help you. You were being used. Your mouth was being used, in front of all those people.
It didn^t take long until i came deep into your throat and leaned against the naked man behind me, panting heavily.
Ever so carefully you licked me clean before you pulled my pants back in place and closed the zipper. I didn^t have to tell you what i expected from you now, you folded your hand behind your neck and waited, not saying a single word.
Yet again I pulled your head back and bent down to kiss you, to taste my own cum in your mouth.
Then I picked up the loop of your leash and turned to Carlos.
„Thank you.“I winked.
„You^re welcome.“ He smiled back and we laughed when I ruffled his hair.
I then spoke to Simon, who stared down at you like he^d never have seen you kneeling before.
„Sorry, Charlie, but …“
„Oh. It^s ok. It^s ok. I know he^s yours, Nick“ he said quietly and a bright smile creeped across his face when he finally looked at me. „ It^s this expression. He never has it with someone else but you, Nick. Fascinating.And beautiful. Oh yes.“
How very right he was! There on the floor, on your knees, hands folded behind your neck, you were Roger, my sub. And oh my, yes, you were the most beautiful creature I ever had seen.
When i tugged at the silver chain, which was, in fact, nothing less than a leash, no matter how thin it was or how easily it could be torn apart,you followed me to the bar.On all fours.
Jay grinned broadly and chuckled „ How nice that you are not too proud to take some advices from a petty little sub“
We all had to laugh at the venomous look you gave him.
The next hour or so we stood at the bar ( you still on all fours), chatted with other guests and every once in a while someone asked politely if she…or he…could touch your hair or stroke your back, what I allowed,
The most touching scene, though, was when a small curvy woman dropped to her knees in front of you and held her wine glass on your lips to let you drink.
„Thank you“ you said quietly and you two shared the sweetest smile.
Her Dom, who had asked me for permission first, winked at me. „ That¨s incredibly cute somehow, isn’t it? She^s such a fan of you guys and all she ever wanted was to meet you. Well,this is far beyond any exspectations, i^d say.“
« The whole evening is far beyond expectation, i tell you ! » Simon laughed..
« Indeed » I muttered, glancing down at you. « it indeed is »
The grande finale of the night was when we tied you to the suspension point and whipped you, all four of us, Simon and me with the crop, Sonya with the bullwhip and Michael using a cane and they all witnessed your ability to convert pain into lust as you came all over the place, screaming heartbreakingly.

We and the leBons ended in one bed, all naked, huddled into a big ball af arms and legs. Again, it wasn^t about sex, we were all too exhausted anyway.
When we woke up, what a surprise…one was missing.
We met with the four others and went to the breakfast room and everyone in there had been at the party last night, so we asked the serving personell to push together all tabels into one big one.
Simon was all amazed to see everyone in casual clothing now, and he made his way around the table, talking to each one.
When you finally appeared, hair still wet from the shower you had after your run, you had to laugh at the scene.
„Good morning, handsome husband“ I smiled and pulled you into my lab.
„Your husband is indeed a bloody machine“Simon snorted. „ My daughter is right!“
The woman beside me, the one who gave you her wine glass, leaned over „ Good to see you…again. I^m Sheila!“
„ Roger“ you grinned.
„ No shit!“ she laughed „ I never would have guessed!“
„Hey“ someone from the other side of the quite large table shouted „ Congrats to your wedding, Nick and Roger. Read about that. »
Within the blink of an eye everone was standing and applauded.
We bought a round of champagne, the breakfast turned into a brunch and no one wanted to leave. We had a lot of interesting chats and the whole place was freaking out when Son and Carlos announced their upcoming wedding.
„How are you today, my bloody machine?“ i asked quietly when you just came back with another loaded plate from the buffet and sat in my lab.

„Machine feels a little rusty“ you grinned and leaned your head against my shoulder.
„And it looks like you^ll need a million calories yet again“ I chuckled, pointing at the plate.
« Oh well » Sheila sighed « looks like every calorie finds it^s perfect place, huh? Wish i could say that about me ! »
« Try running ! » you smiled at her and when you talked you found out that she lives near Putney, so you changed phone numbers to make up a date.
We involved Sonya into the chat when Sheila told us that she^s a midwife.
Home again, we literally locked ourselves from the world for two days. No phone, no internet, no TV. Only the two of us. You didn^t even leave for a run.
The first evening we talked about the party, huddled on the sofa.
„Yas and Si liked it a lot , huh?“ you said and moved even closer to me.
« Hmhm » My hand found it^s way under your shirt and I felt the welts several instruments had left on your back. „ How about you? Did you like it?“
„I surely did.Wasn^t that obvious?“You raised your brows and I had to laugh.
« Oh well, would have been hard to fake that! But honestly, Roger…how do you feel about it?“
« It was all comfort zone, precious, until you stormed into the smoker^s lounge. What was that about, huh?“
„That was about being all pissed because it has been all comfort zone so far“ I chuckled and snipped against one of those welts, what made you gasp.
„Ah! Nick! You could have changed that easily, you know?“
„I gave you to Simon.So, no, I couldn^t. Until I couldn^t stand it any more.I just realized that I don^t want to give you away. Not even to Simon.I wanted you to be mine.“
„Goodness, Nick! I am yours! I^m always yours! You are not jealous or something, aren^t you?“ you kissed my neck.
« Not jealous. I wanted to subdue you. It rushed into me without warning when i talked to Yas at the bar. I wanted everyone to see that you^re mine. I wanted to give that chain a meaning, as Simon has made a show out of it“ I tried to explain.
« It^s Simon ! Simon makes a show out of everything as soon as someone is watching » you chuckled. « I love him. I really do, and he^s such a wonderful person…but with others around he turns into the showman, the entertainer and frontman. You know that, Nick.“
„Oh yeah, i know that. It was fun to watch you two, really, and i nearly died of the cum-swapping scene, but jeez, Roger…it was an SM-party and not a Swinger Club. I wanted you to be my sub and I wanted everyone to see the difference. Oh, and I would have expected a little bit of resistance from you, my beloved fighter. But nothing. What was that about?“I kissed up your neck from that curve to your ear and started licking .
„Ah, Nick!“ you giggled .“ It was an SM-party and not a swinger club, huh? Probably i wanted everyone to see the difference, too. And gaaawd, Nick, I can^t help…I love it so so so much when it^s unexpected.
Your eyes when you came into the lounge…ack! That look alone, Nick, that look alone catapulted my right into sub space. You have the most beautiful eyes and whatever you feel, it^s all in them. I can read you like a book, Nicholas, just by looking into those emerald eyes.“
„Can you? What are they telling you now, my eyes?“ I wanted to know.
« Oh, that^s easy…they say *Rrrrogerrr, go down on your knees and give me a blow-job* » you grinned mischieviously when you slipped from the sofa.
Dear god, you really know about your talents, dont you ?

Chapter Text

Two days later, we sat in the garden with Rupert and Sonya, who came over for afternoon tea, when you decided to check on your emails shortly.
« We have a problem » you said quietly as you came back and that look on your face scared me to no end.
Your hands were shaking when you handed me the labtop. „Read that. Aloud. Rupert and Son should hear it!“
„My very dear Roger“ I started „ things are still going pretty well for you, I see.
Well, I^m not that much on the sunny side of life here, I tell you.
I^ve heard that the boy who used to be my slave is now working at your friend^s restaurant, so I assume that it was you who forced him to leave me, right?
I had to find me another toy.
Much to my regret he wasn^t as half as submissive like I thought, and he went to the school administration.
I got fired, Roger.
I have a lot of free time now, and i just went through the pictures on my PC and found a few very interesting ones.
I have bills to pay and a family to feed, my old friend, and I ask you for some help, let^s say 10.000 pounds.
I`m sure you won^t hesitate to take care of that.
Just in case I^m wrong, if the money isn^t transfered to my bank account within two weeks, I will send the attached pics to every newspaper in great britain.
Kind regards
Allan. »
My stomach turned when I saw those pics.
« That fucking bastard ! » Sonya yelled « That bloody fucking bastard ! »
„What now?“ you whispered. „ What now?“
To our all surprise Rupert threw his head back and laughed almost hysterically.
„What an idiot. What an utterly stupid idiot! I think, we should visit him. And his family! You have to call John and Simon,skip Ands, he doesn^t have to know the story, and then let^s go and say hi to that asshole!“
Still laughing, he told us something indeed very interesting.
John and Charlie were all in when we called them, and not even two hours later, after we^d made the best plan ever,four members of a very famous british band and an all over grinning Rupert entered a car.
„Stay behind the bushes and watch!“ Rupert commanded when we had reached the house of the Wilders.
He took a deep breath and rang the bell.
A teenage girl opened the door and the boy displayed all his charme on her.
„Hi! You must be Celia, right? Are your parents at home ? »
« Er…yes » she smiled coyly and turned to call « Mum ? Dad ? »
Allan went completely pale when he found Rupert standing in front of his door and the obvious panic it his eyes was all the way satisfying.
„Hi!“ Rupert beamend at the couple. « Mr. Wilder, you surely remember me, don^t you ? Your dad, Celia, your dad is an awesome man ! He was my teacher and he gave me some extra lessons to catch up when I was not much older than you ! I was 17, to be exact. Thrilling, huh? 17, so young! And now I^m working at one of the best restaurants in the country, how cool is that? First, Celia, first I wanted to tell everyone about all the support I have recieved from your dad, but then I remembered something , a much better way to say thank you! And really, Mr Wilder , I thank you so so much for all your help and that you believed in me, despite of my very young age!“
Bloody hell, Rupert was brilliant! Allan looked like he^d would have an heart attack any minute.
„Your dad loves you so much, Celia, you and your sister and your mom, and he told me once that you are a very big fan of Duran Duran.Is that true?“
„Oh yes!“ the girl nodded. „i love them!
„Great! I have a big surprise for you, sweetie! Look who^s with me ! »
And we stepped out of the bushes.
Celia shrieked ecstatically
„Oh my god oh my god oh my gooooood! Uh!Dad! look! It^s JT! Oh! And Nick! And Roger! And Simon! OH!MY! GOD!“
Simon took the hand of the man, shaking it like mad. „ Mr Wilder! Such a pleasure to meet you! We^ve heard so many wonderful things about you! Oh, and you do remember our drummer, don^t you? What a surprise when he and Rupert found out that they had the same teacher!“
„You have teached ROGER? Dad! You never told me!“
Wilder was still not able to speak and you smiled broadly at the girl.
„ Yeah, long time before i became a drummer, you know“
« Really, Allan ? » his wife beamed. „ Come in, gentleman. Oh, it^s so nice that you are visiting us!“
I felt bad for the woman who had no clue that her husband had been cheating on her for years. She was so friendly and obviously happy.
„Look at your dad, Celia ! » Rupert smiled „He^s completely taken aback. Ah, that^s just so typical for him! Always so meek and modest!“
„ Darling, really, you should say something! Looks like you have made an impression here!“ Mrs Wilder laughed.
„Uh..well, thanks for coming. I…er…yeah, i^m really taken aback!“ he muttered, avoiding to look at us.
We had a nice evening with Celia, her elder sister Chloe and her mum, so to speak.
When we left, you hugged the man and said „ Karma is something wonderful, isn^t it? Whatever you give, it^s coming back to you one day!“
We all ended at our place, where Son had been waiting for us, eager to hear how the plan had worked out.
Rupert, our dear, clever and utterly evil Rupert was the hero of the day.
We never heard of Allan again.

Chapter Text

„Naaah“ Son shook her head.“ I look like a cream pie. A very fat cream pie. »
Another bridal shop, another dress…my, did I need a drink!
„Let^s try a fit^n flare“ Yassie suggested and out ofthe corner of my eyes I saw your eye-roll.
« I^ll go for a fag » you muttered.
« No ! Don^t you dare ! You^ll stay here. You have to tell me if Carlos would like the dress, yeah ? You know him best ! » she turned to you and if looks could kill, you would have fallen dead from the couch.
« Son, you have a supermodel around who knows much more about dresses tha… »you started
« BUT YOU ARE A MAN ! » she blurted.
« Er…yes…a GAY man who understands nothing about bridal dresses, huh? And if you ask me what Carlos would like, I tell you to marry in leather or latex, he would definitely love that!“
„Ignorant idiot“ she sobbed.
„Hormone-monster!“ you shot back.
« Nick ! Your husband is very very mean to me ! Do
something about that ! » she pouted.
« Ah, you mean the lovely guy you have just called an ignorant idiot, yeah ? » I grinned and you planted a kiss on my forehead.
The women rushed off into the dressing room again and you sighed heavily.
„ I wanna go home. I need a drink! I^m starving“
„Yeah, me too“ I chuckled and pulled you close „ but we will survive that.“
„I^m not so sure! She really is a pain in the arse since she^s pregnant.“
« Oh, really ? How do you know that ? Has Carlos called again about yet another strap-on expierince?“ I giggled.
« Har har, you are so funny ! » another eye-roll.
« Hmhm, I know, I can be such a pain in the arse“
„You are unbearable today. All of you! God, I wanna go to the desert island again. Alone! And now I will have a fag“
„No, you won^t. You stay here with me.You….holy cow!“
Son was back. Was it Son? She looked like a godess. An angel. A fairy, whatever.
„Oh…my…fucking…god!“ you slowly rose from the sofa, staring at her. „Sonya! Uh!“
„So…you like it?“ she asked quietly, her eyes shiny and her voice shaky.
„No! No! I don^t like it! I fucking LOVE it!“
„See? I told you. It^s perfect. It^s absolutely perfect ! » Yasmin beamed.
« I think I^m going to cry now » Sonya whispered. And she did so.

You and Rupert sat in the kitchen and were discussing the final arrangements for the wedding menue. It would be a very small wedding, just families and closest friends, not more than 50 guests, and it would take place in the restaurant.
Son and Carlos had a little fight about the church marriage. She didn^t want one, to be exact, but for Carlos it was very important, so she finally agreed.
« I think it^s for his family » Sonya had told us secretly « he doesn^t want to upset them ! »
« Naah, Roger. Three courses are enough, really…and we will have this large dessert buffet » I heard Rupert saying and had to smile to myself. You were so excited about the event, so eager to make everything perfect, and you were the best wedding planner ever.
„Yeah, but…“ you started again.
« Easy, man ! It’s enough, believe me ! Can you give me the seating plan again please…I don’t think it^s such a good idea to have Carlos^s sister between Mike and Jay… »
„ I actually think that exactly that is a very good idea“ you grinned and you two giggled like mad.

At the morning of the wedding day you drove to Heathrow to pick up Carlos^ family. His parents and sister.
The groom stayed at our place and was a nervous wreck.
„If my mom will say something against gays, stay cool yeah? She doesn’t know any better. Please no fights at my wedding day!“
„Relax, Antonio, relax!“ i chuckled „I promise you not to discuss gay rights today, yeah?“
„Thank you! And stop calling me Antonio, this is annoying ! Is there any whiskey left?“
„ Ant…Carlos! It^s not even nine in the morning!“
„And? Who cares?“ he blurted„God, Nick! I^m so nervous! My parents never have seen Sonya before, the Rodriguez-family will be surounded by…er..“
„ A bunch of godless gays?“ I suggested
« Yeah, exactly ! » he howled and handed him the whiskey bottle.
When we heard the car in the driveway he nearly jumped.
The Rodriguez-family had arrived. My, had they arrived.
The door flung open and a stunningly beautiful woman appeared. At first sight I thought it was his sister, but , no, it was his mum. Wow.
Then his dad and finally the sister, one more attractive than the other.The room was filled with laughters and cries and spanish rants and I quietly took your hand and led you into the bedroom.
„Waah!“ you laughed. „ this isn’t a family, this is a fucking hurricane! »
The door flung open yet again and Carlos^ mother dragged us back into the living room, hurricane indeed.
„I told them that you have married“ Carlos explained. « She wants to see pictures, she didn^t know that men could be married »
„Felitaciones!“ his sister beamed. „congratulations!“
« Muchas gracias ! » you smiled back at her. « Carlos…er…Carlos fue mi mejor hombre!“
« Ah, Rogerio ! Hablas espaniol !Que lindo!“ his dad patted your shoulder.
Well, they seemed not that much homophobic at all.
Carlos shrugged, grinning broadly. „ Miracles happen“
You had to leave to the HLTW and Carla ( tricky, huh ? Carlos and Carla!) giggled when you kissed me shortly. « Hasta luego ! » you smiled as you left.
« Taahaa ! I didn^t even know that he speaks spanish ! » Carlos shook his head. « Always in for a surprise, Rogerio, huh ? »
« What do you expect from your fiancee^s bridesmaid ? »I chuckled.
Yeah, really, you were one of Son^s bridesmaids, so to speak.
„You have been a bride, so you can be a bridesmaid. Period » She had commanded. « It^s my wedding and i want it like that. You are my best friend. You will be my bridesmaid“


Mary, Sonya^s friend since school days and Yasmin were the first to come down the aisle as the wedding march started. Their dresses in a bright red color, matching just perfectly with their dark hair.
Then you, Lulah at your hand, what caused some confusion. That red suit was all stunning and yet again I had to think of some 60^s movie star.
And here came the bride.
I heard Carlos swallowing hard and checked my pocket for the tissues. Just in case.
Sonya was overwhelmingly beautiful. Darren had done the make up and no, she didn^t look like an angel or a fairy. She definitely was a godess.
„Oh“ the man beside me whispered. „Oh“ His eyes filled with tears and he reached for my hand.
The ceremony was held in english and spanish and Jason was the photographer yet again.
It was not as personal as our^s , but that part would follow later.
The most touching thing was how the two looked at each other during the whole ceremony. Love is quite notable when it^s real and I felt your hand in mine when they said yes.
Again you had to rush off as soon as it was over for the last preparations at the venue and your car was packed with the HLTW-team.
A bus would bring us other guests to the restaurant and the newly-weds entered a Morgan convertible. Carlos would drive an extra round to make sure that everyone else had reached the venue before them.
Rupert and Mary welcomed us with Champagne, and I gasped when I stepped into the hall.All in blue and red, the colors of the union jack, and the puerto rican flag, what I never had noticed before. The union jack is a bit darker and somehow you had found just the right shades in between. Ah, therefore the red dresses!
The tables had been arranged in one half of the hall to leave space for the stage and a dancefloor and were decorated with one different black and white pic of the two each, framed in a red and blue heart and white tea roses. I recognised your handwriting on the place cards.
„Where^s Roger?“ Jay wondered. „ I have to take a pic of the bridesmaids before Son and Carlos will arrive!“
You just had entered the stage, Lulah at hand again.
„Welcome, ladies and gentleman. My name is Roger, and yes. i^m in fact one of the bridesmaids. This wonderful girl here is Tallulah, and Tallulah and I are kindly asking you to take your seats, as Sonya and Carlos will be here any minute and we want to give them a proper welcome. Right, Lulah?“
„Hmhm“ she nodded.
„And what do you think we should do when they arrive?“
„ Applauding!“ she beamed. „And smiling! And…and…aaaaand a drum roll!“
„Fab! So everyone will sit down now and applaude and smile, yeah? And we will take care of the drum roll!“
„Huh-huh!“ she went straight behind the drum kit and picked the sticks „ you comin or what?“

The couple was all stunned when they appeared in the restaurant and the next hour was filled with hugs and laughters and tears.
Since it was way too early for the dinner we^d have some programme first, the personal part of the wedding, so to speak, and the two of us entered the stage

„We are supposed to say something, aren^t we?“ I grinned.
„Probably yes. But you know what? I had no time to think of something ! »you shrugged.
„Too bad! And now?“ I sighed.
„Hm. ..improvising? When I first met Sonya we were in a kitchen and when i first met Carlos, it was behind a bar. So we should make something out of that.“
„Good Idea. When I first met them, they were behind a bar also, by the way“
„Oh, really ? Did you try Carlos^special mix? He created it when he had a very unpleasant experience at his first day in the bar, you know ? » you tried hard not to laugh at that.
„What about creating a special mix for them, so that they^ll never have unpleasant experiences again?“ I suggested.
„That^s a plan! Something like *the ultimate Cocktail for a proper marriage*!“
„Do you actually think that something like that really exists?“ I wondered.
„Of course! The most important ingredient is love. And then you^ll need a few additions. »
Yas and Mary brought a small table and a basket and Rupert opened a champagner bottle.
« Oh, thank you ! « you smiled. «See, Nick, now we have our own bar here! Let^s say the champagner is the love“ You took a cocktail shaker out of the basket and poured some champagne in. « Something sparkling. What^s next ? »
« Something sweet and cosy. » I reached into the basked and hold up a vanilla pod.
„Ah, no ! Doesn^t fit ! We need something more…more special. Son and Carlos are very special, aren’t they ? Let me tell you a story. Son and me, we once have joined a baking class and the task of the day was to create cupcakes. Everyone made sweet toppings for them, except Sonya. She mixed dark chocolate with chili and a tad of vodka. The funny thing is, on our way back there was a power loss in the tube and we sat in the dark for almost two hours.I felt a bit claustrophobic, I admit and my, was i glad that Son was there with me! Thank god we had her cupcakes ! Some coffee with them would have been great, but well…ever since, in case of an emergency, I have to think of cupcakes. Sonyas cupcakes.Because if you have cupcakes, everything will be all right.“
I knew you would tell a story, but I wasn^t prepared for that, so wasn’t Son, as I heard her sobbing. You just had explained were your safeword was coming from, something so intimate and private, and no one knew but the small group of people who understood the real meaning of your story.
I didn^t care about any homophobic people around, I had to pull you close and kiss you.
« No worries » i said « we are married »
« Oh yes ! So we should know what is needed. No vanilla, but still there has to be something sweet in it.What about mango juice?“
„Roger, you are a genuis. Funny thing is, I have a mango here. And guess where it^s coming from?“
„Puerto Rico, I^d say ! » you smiled broadly when you added some juice into the shaker.
« A lot of really nice things are from Puerto Rico. And very nice people, too.“ I nodded.
„Ah, you don^t mean all those homophobic machos, eh?“ you chuckled
« No, I was actually talking of Carlos ! » We heard the man laughing about that and I continued: „ My turn for a story now. As you said, they are very special, Sonya and Carlos. I remember when we were touring, miles away from home, and we sometimes didn^t know where we were when we woke up in the morning. And every day I^ve found a text message at my mobile, either from Son or Carlos,
A very good morning to the ones we are missing, today you are in…*add a city*, and we wish you all the best for the show tonight.
Or something like, hey today you^ll have d day off, isn’t that nice?
They got the Tour plan from our management to know where we are, and this is, if you ask me , incredibly sweet.To have friends who care so much that they are thinking of you almost every day, even if there are times we don^t see each other for weeks. So, how can we add *caring* and „friendship* to that cocktail?“
„Jasmin“ you said „Just a tad of a jasmin blossom.Jasmin stands for *amiable*. »
« indeed ! « Yassie shouted
« The flower, not the model over there » you rolled your eyes. „ That is Yasmin *utterly evil* LeBon.“
Since jasmin oil was a bit toxic, you just added a very few petals, for the scent and the symbolism.
„And you know what we will definitely need? Something strong! Because hey, they are indeed two very strong personalities, aren^t they?“ I pointed out and handed you a bottle of white rum.“it^s Palo Viejo, and again it^s from Puerto Rico¨“
The Rodriguez-hurricane-family applauded enthusiastically.
« Ok. Here we go » you poured in the rum and wanted to close the shaker.
„Wait, Roger, there’s something missing! I think we should have something spicy in it, because it^s a good thing to spice up your life a little bit every once in a while“ The newly weds and a certain bunch of guests laughed like mad as I unwrapped a peeled ginger root.
„Ah-huh!“ you chuckled and blushed slightly. I grated a bit of it until you yelled
« Stop ! That^s enough. »what made those who knew laughing again.
Finally we served them their very own wedding cocktail and let the guests know that it would be available at the bar.

There was another speech from Mary and one each from Carlos^and Son^s parents.
Mila loved Sonya at first sight and the two families matched very well.
You could^t help but sneaking into the kitchen once more before the dinner would be served.
We were seated at a table with Mary, her husband Jack, and the LeBons, including Lulah.
„Where^s Rooooger?“ the girl pouted.
„Checking if dinner is ready, princess. He’ll be right back“ her mother assured.
„You do like Roger very much, hm?“ Mary smiled.
„Huh-huh!“ she nodded . „ He is my friend.“
„He surely is!“ Simon looked warmly at his youngest. « You know what, Lulah ? Go to the kitchen and get your friend, yeah ? We want him to be with us!“
„Yep“ she beamend and slided from her chair to rush off.
„They have a very special connection, haven’t they?“ Jack chuckled.
« Oh yes ! It was love at first sight¨“ I laughed.
„Like you two, huh?“ Yasmin winked.
„So to speak. But Lulah was way braver than I ! She just jumped straight into his lab. Just imagine I would have done that“
„Oh fuckfuckfuck“ Si muttered and the three of us laughed out loud.
„If Roger wouldn^t be gay, Son would be long married, i guess“ Mary winked. „she really had a hard time when they first met.“
„Oh, they^d fit perfectly“ Yassie agreed and I started to wonder how many details Son^s old friend might knew.
We changed the subject as you came out of the kitchen, the little LeBonling in your arms.
„And? Everything ok?“ I asked and pulled you down for a kiss.
„Aye, fab. Rupert is a jewel, really. »
You were pretty nervous when the first course had been served and only relaxed as we caught Sonya giving a thump-up.
« The godess of the kitchen is pleased. Hallelujah!“ you sighed „You have no idea how bloody hard it is to cook something for a cook!“
„You have always been a very good team, no worries!“ Mary patted your arm. „Remember the buffet at our wedding!“
„Uh! I can hardly remember anything of that wedding! My, was I wasted!“ you chuckled.
„I have to look for the video¨“ Mary grinned.
„Naaah! Please not! Oh god! I was wrong, i do remember something. How^s your sister? Is she a lesbian now?“you turned to Mary^s husband.
Jack broke out in laughter. „ I^m afraid not! Still the same troubles with the same idiots!“
„You know“ you explained „ Kate and I were blind drunk and we just figured that all men are ass- er… Idiots since we both went through one hell of a break-up, so we decided to try it with women.“
„Well, I^m indeed very glad that it didn^t work out!“ I winked and squeezed your hand.
„Me too!“ you gave me the sweetest smile and blew me a kiss.

The second course obtained the bride^s approval and we ordered the *wedding cocktail* with it.
I couldn^t take my eyes off of you. You definetly should wear red more often !
Once you had noticed that everything was going pretty well, you were totally relaxed, all flirty and funny and we kissed and touched a lot.
Mary leaned over to me when you had went to the bride^s table with Lulah to ask if everything was to their liking.
„ You two are a pleasure to look at. It^s so different to the last time I saw him!“
„ Definitly!“ Jack agreed. „ I have been very worried back then!“
„ i didn^t know that you are so close.“ I wondered.
„We are not, actually. We are very very close to Sonya and she told us nearly everything. She still does, by the way, you perverts!“ the man chuckled.
„Envious?“ Simon smirked.
„All happy here with the sweet and cosy vanilla bit!“ Mary assured and Jack kissed her ever so gently.
That^s what it^s all about, huh? Being happy with your way of life.

After dinner the band started to play and the couple led the dance to * you to me are everything*. From then on I hardly saw you any more, as you were yet again the king of the dancefloor.
„I just wish i could have a drink“ Son sighed. „But Mila would probably kill me if I^ll have anything stronger than sparkling water! At least I had one sip of your cocktail, waaahoo! Did you know about the cupcake-story, by the way?“
„ Uh, no, caught me off guard ! »
« Ah, Nick, we are lucky bitches, yeah ? Lucky bossy bitches we are! I^m a bit scared. You know…if we can keep it up with a baby around“
„ You will have an army of babysitters, Son. Roger and I, Si and Yas, even Mike and Jay are all eager to look after the little one. And I bet your mum will make one very proud grandma. You haven^t seen our wedding gift yet, have you?“
„No. What is it?“
„ Roger came up with it, since we know what it^s like when you can^t find time for each other. You^ll have a weekend off monthly . We^ll bear the full costs and look after the baby, or find a suitable babysitter, at least“
„ Ack! Those bloody hormones! I have to cry again. Promise me, Nick, promise me that every once in a while you will come with us, yeah ? Not for playing only. I^d be happy to have you around for chatting the whole night or to get pissed like a rat ! »
« Promised ! » I smiled and pulled a heartbreakingly crying bride to my chest.

Not much later I met the Lebons and the beaming groom at the bar.
„Ah, Nick!“ Carlos hugged me tightly and planted a kiss on my cheek.
« Antonio, my dear ! Has anyone seen my husband lately ? »
„Last time i saw him he was with my family and a bottle of Palo Viejo“ Carlos chuckled. „ and would you please stop calling me Antonio! Don`t make fun about my accent ! »
« Carlito ! I^m not making fun about your accent ! I love your accent ! Your accent is, in fact, incredibly sexy ! »
« You think ? »
« Si. I think, Antonio ! »
« Muchas gracias ! »
« Er..Nick ? » Simon interupted « Just in case you are still looking for your husband…there he is ! »
„Madre de dios!“ Carlos blurted.
Yeah, there you were. On the dancefloor, with Carlos senior, dancing salsa.
We almost died laughing.

„Water!Water! lot^s of water!“ you gasped when you finally joined us.
„That hurricane of the Rodriguez-family almost killed me!“
„Carlito, do you think it^s ok if i^d kiss my beloved bloody machine to death? Because this is what i really want to do now!“ i laughed.
„Uhm…yeah, that^s fine, as long as you stay fully clothed ! »
And we kissed. My, that^s what I^d call kissing!
So, finally we had the long overdued toilet stall experience, with not a bit resistance from your end. The hardest thing was to keep it quiet.
Jason nearly peed his pants when he caught us coming out of the stall.
The cake had been served as we were back and Son was all mad at us.
„Where have you been?We wanted to have you around when we cut it!“
„They were acting out cliches“ Jay giggled and pointed at the restrooms.
„You^ve got to be fucking kiddin me!“ she blurted before she cried with laughter.
We had a *love sick idiots*-moment at it^s best when we danced to Brian Ferry^s *slave to love * and afterwards another round of Palo Viejo with the hurricanes.

In the early morning we shared a taxi with the Lebons…Lulah slept at Rupert^s…and when we had entered the hallway i had to fuck you yet again, right on the floor.
Oh god, Roger¨i will never ever get enough of you!

Chapter Text

Naaah!“ you moaned when I woke you up and dragged youself even deeper into the pillows.
„Someone is having a hangover, huh? » I chuckled and pulled away your blanket. « I^ve brought breakfast , hon.“
„No breakfast today! Thanks, but no, thanks!“
„Wow! Roger *the bloody machine* Taylor has finally reached his limits. I^m impressed!“I couldn^t stop grinning.
Somehow you managed to get up to your elbows and I broke out in laughter when you looked at me with swollen eyes and the most grumpy face ever.
„Ah! Too loud, Nick! Too loud“
„The hurricanes with their Palo Viejo, huh?“ still laughing, I handed you a coffee mug.
„ I definitely should have skipped the last round. Do we have some Aspirine?“you sounded so miserable that I had to ruffle your hair and kissed your forehead gently.
«Awww, you poor thing ! I^ll go get some. »
When i was back you sat at least upright against the headboard and tried a small smile.
„Ah, you^re an angel, Nick!“ you sighed as you took the pills from me and swallowed them down with coffee.“You^re ok, hm?“
„Oh well“ I climbed into the bed beside you „ I had not half as much as you, you greedy exessive party animal!“
„Gaaaawd! Those Rodriguez^! Wish they^d been a bit more homophobic, then I wouldn^t have drunk with them »
« Interesting logic, really ! » I chuckled. « Do you remember anything at all ? »
„You mean, if I remember how you dragged me into the restrooms and nearly smothered me ? » you grinned
„In fact,Roger, it was YOU who dragged ME! And i had to cover your mouth because you were pretty loud!“
„Of course i was! My head bumped against the wall and it bloody hurt!“ you smirked and gave me the raised brow again.
„Oh, really? I never knew that you like it that much, since you screamed *oh Nick , harder! Please, harder* all the time!“
„You should know by now that i^m pretty much into pain, yeah? So maybe this fucking headache isn^t from the alcohol but from massive headbumps! Ha!“
„So it^s indeed a fucking-headache, har har!“ I pulled you close to kiss you yet again.
« Seriously, Nick, do you think someone has heard us ? »
„Not us, YOU!“ I chuckled. « Well, i don^t know. If so, no one said anything.Sonya was quite mad, though!“
„Before she laughed her ass off, that was! Jason should be gagged at every party!“you blurted.
„ It was a fantastic party, wasn^t it ? »
« Ooooh yes, it was ! »
After two more hours of sleep, another aspirine and some proper food you drove to the restaurant to check if everything was in place again and ready to be open to the public in a week.
Son and Carlos would only have a very short honeymoon in Puerto Rico and we needed two cars the other day to drive the whole Rodriguez-clan to the airport.


A few days later we had the LeBons and Rupert for dinner, and the boy seemed to be very nervous about something. Checking his mobile every few seconds he could hardly follow the conversation.
« Hell, Rupert, what^s the matter ? » Simon finally asked.
„…nothing!“ he blushed.
„And does * nothing* have a name?“ you grinned broadly.
„! Is it that obvious? He chuckled. „ Dom. His name is Dom.“
„Nomen est omen or what?“ Si laughed.
« It^s actually Dominic, but yeah, nomen est omen, I^d say.He said he knows you. From the party in Brighton. And i^m still mad at you for leaving me at home!“
„Do you have a picture? » Charlie wanted to know, overhearing the last part. „ I^ve talked to everyone the day after, i^m pretty sure i^ll remember him.“
„He worked behind the bar, he wasn^t in the hotel with you!“ Rupert smiled.
„How do you have met? » you wanted to know. « Hopefully not in one creepy gay SM-chat or something… »

.“Naaah ! It was actually workwise. I want to become a proper barkeeper. Carlos said he will not work full time any more once the baby is there. And Dom…Dom runs a class for cocktail making and stuff, I^ve found his Homepage. Wait, i^ll show you! Can i use your labtop, Rog?“
„Sure.“ You went to get it and then we all grouped around the monitor as Rupert opened the page.
„Yeah, he was behind the bar.“ Yassie smiled. „ and he makes pretty good magaritas! But how come that you have talked about the party?“
„Well…class started a few days before Son^s and Carlos`wedding and I had those pictures with me we wanted to place on the tables. During a break I stood outside for a smoke and went through them when he joined me. First, he made a compliment about my ring“ Rupert waved his right hand with the * ring of O*, a well known symbol in our scene. Worn left, it means * dominant*, worn right it says * submissive*.
« I had to laugh when i noticed that he has the same. I mean, how high are the chances to meet someone out of a club with this ring, huh ? He then stared at the photos and asked who that is, and I told him about the restaurant and the wedding and when he said he has seen them in Brighton I knew where, so i asked if he was at Madame Claires party.Well, he obviously was, and after class we went for a drink. I thought he^d be straight, though, so it was quite a surprise to find out he^s not. We started texting and called each other and so on and …well…yesterday he asked me for a date. I couldn^t sleep, I^m so excited! But then, I^m also a bit scared. So i wrote him a very very long email. My history, so to speak.And now i^m sitting here, waiting for an answer and going slightly mad! Uff!“
„Your history? That means, you told him about Allan, yeah?“ you asked quietly. It was the first time someone spoke out that name since our legendary visit at the Wilder^s home.
„Yep. I wanted him to know why I^m scared. You know, Al…that idiot was my first, and i^m not very experienced and I…I just wanted to let him know. But it wasn^t about Al…the idiot only. It was about you all and about what I^m dreaming of and that I want to take it slow, and now i wonder if he^ll ever call me back now.“
„Well, if he doesn^t it^s not such a big loss, hm? Then he was obviously looking for an adventure or something. It^s a good thing that you^ve been so honest, Rupert!“ i lay an arm around him and tried to sound all the way optimistic. But in fact i doubted that the man would ever call back.
I was right. He didn^t call back. He chose a much better way.
We had just finished the dessert when the doorbell rang and you went to open it.
„Surprise surprise!“ you chuckled when you returned. Right behind appeared no one else than Dominic himself.
„Oh“ Rupert breathed and he turned all pink.
„Hi everyone. Sorry to bother you. I^m…I have to talk to Rupert. Oh, i^m Dominic ! » the man was obviously as nervous as Rupert was.
« You^re not bothering us. » Simon assured. « Should we leave you two alone ? »
« I^m fine with you guys around if he is » Dom said. „If i got it right you^re incredibly important for him and well, from what I have seen at Claire^s you are very close to each other »
I liked this man from the first moment on. Somehow the whole situation reminded me of the talk we had back then in the Velvet, you and I, Son, Carlos and Michael.
« What are you doing here ? » the boy asked quietly. „ You could have called or somethin…“
« It took me half the day to find you, Roo. I wanted to talk to you in person. » He sat beside the all puzzled young man « see, i didn^t want to talk about such things on the phone or via texting.You told me that you live right above the restaurant , so I went there. No Rupert and a closed HLTW. What now? I called Claire.It was some hard work until she gave me the adress here, i tell you ! In your mail you said that Nick and Roger are like a family for you, so I thought you might be here, and hey, here you are! Your friends, your surrogate family, as you have called them, they do know your story, yeah? And I^m right when I think it^s ok for you to have them around?“
„Uh, yes. They know. And I …, I can^t believe you are here!“
Never before had I seen him beaming like that! I felt your hand in mine and we smiled broadly at each other. Our little boy had obviously fallen in love!
„And I can^t believe that i^ve met you, Roo! That you just walked into my class with your ring and those pics and …yeah, Rupert, wow! Wow indeed!“
Despite the two had somehow invited us to stay, we left the kitchen ever so quiet and went into the living room.
Closing the door behind you, you turned to us, beaming just like Rupert. „ How cool is that!“


When the newly-weds returned, there was a special opening-event at the HLTW.
Cocktails`n snacks, Puerto Rican style.
You were wise enough to skip the Palo Viejo and Son was happy not to be the only one going for virgin cocktails.
„I can^t believe you had sex in my restaurant!“ she grinned at me. „ you utterly debauched living cliche you!“
„Did anyone hear that? Machine man worries a bit about that.“
„Ah, machine man should learn to be a little more quiet sometimes!“ she giggled. „ But no, not that i know.What do you think of Dominic, huh? Rupert looks happy.“
„Dom is ok. I like him. And watch, aren^t they one hell of a team?Just like Rog and you`“ Dom and Rupert behind the bar proved that Tom Cruise in * Cocktail* was a bloody beginner.
„Oh well, not quite like Rog and me!“ she laughed. „ they share a few more passions, i^d say ! »
« What you two would have done, too, if Roger won^t be gay. At least this is was Mary said.“ I grinned broadly.
„ Ack! She told you about that? Oh my!“ Sonya blushed. For the first time I knew her she blushed.
„Nevermind, Son. I find it very understandable, really!“
„Er…but still…it^s a bit embarrassing, duh! That evening where you came over for our first session…it was the first time I ever saw Roger naked, I swear!“
„it wasn^t the last!“ I chuckled.
„No, thank god, it wasn^t!“

We were reading mails which had been sent to the official Duran Duran-Homepage when you chuckled „ How cute“
„What?“ I looked up, smiling.
Your boyish chuckles always make me smile.
« Did you know that we have an official gay fanclub ? Here^s a guy asking for autographs for his boyfriend^s birthday and he wrotes that they have just founded the * Gay Duranies departement*.Let^s check their website!“
My , did we have fun!
And after a few shots of Carlos^s well known drink, we decided to show up at that planned birthday party in a gay club in SoHo. You have to take care of your fans, huh?
We mailed back to the man who had asked for autographs and got an answer just a few minutes later.
*is this a joke or something? If so, it^s not funny at all !*
So we took a picture and sent it to him to prove that^s really us

A week later we dressed up for a stranger^s b-day party.And we didn^t have to talk about the dress code.Of course we went for the sparkling rainbow glitter suits.
Dirk, the boyfriend of the birthday boy, picked us up outside the club.
„Holy shit! You are really here! Holy shit! That^s what i call a birthday present`“ he was all hyper since he never believed that we would show up.
When we entered the club, no one noticed us at first and we went to the bar and ordered some drinks, watching the scene. Typical gay bar, dimmed lights, lot^s of people.Hunks. Drag queens. Twinks.
I hadn^t been at such a place for ages, but it still felt familiar somehow.
A really impressive drag queen stood beside us to order a drink , and when she turned to us to say hi, her jaw dropped.“ Oh my gooood, Nick and Rog!“ she shrieked and that was it with being unnoticed. Within seconds we were surounded by men.
„ Who^s the birthday boy?“ you asked
„Here! It^s me!“ a quite handsome blonde in his 40^s approached us and he didn^t hesitate to pull me into a heartily hug before he turned to you. „You don^t mind, do you? I^m probably the biggest Nick-fan in the entire world!“
„ I bet you^re not, because that is , with no doubt, me, my dear!“ you laughed .“But,it^s your birthday, so no, i don^t mind“
„ And what^s your name, Nick-fan?“ I wanted to know , grinning all over.
„Oh, it^s Kieran, sir¨“ he bowed deeply and I had to laugh at your eye-roll.
„All pleased to meet you, Kieran! Happy birthday!“ I kissed him on the cheek and he went all pink
„Er..oh. Thank you.“ he muttered.
„Hey“ the impressive, very tall drag queen elbowed you. „ That^s my fav song. Good rhythm, huh ? Fancy a dance ? » It was *planet earth*and you hugged in the offered arm and went to the dancefloor.
I had to laugh so hard that i almost sputtered my drink.This difference in hights, you and a giant drag queen in high heels. The lady turned and winked at me when *she* said : „ A bit on the short end, your hubby…but I^m sure a few inches are in places where they are more useable ! »
« You bet ! » I smirked, enjoying that you went all pink , just like Kieran before.
Yet again, you turned into that party animal while I was chatting with Dirk and Kieran and whoever else was joining us occasionally.
„Hey, is John really straight? I mean…absolutely totally straight? » Dirk asked after quite a few drinks
« Yeah, totally absolutely. Absolutely totally. » I chuckled
« Awww, man, too bad ! » he sighed „And Simon? I bet, Simon is all filthy, huh?“
„ Simon is a happily married man! » And that wasn^t even a lie, was it ?
„You know“ Kieran grinned „ We are all faithful, we just have a gentlemen^s agreement when it comes to you guys…“
„There^s not a bit of a chance, I have to tell you ! » I assured.
« Oh yeah ? Does Roger know that, too ? » Dirk pointed at the dancefloor and my jaw dropped. You were still dancing, sandwiched between the queen and some quite hunky black guy. They were close, Very close. Way too close. And you were topless.
I swallowed hard and took a few deep breaths.
Are you nuts? Taking off your shirt in a bloody gay bar surrounded by bloody gay Duranies?
I tried hard not to show my burning anger as i turned to the couple, smiling all over. „ That^s my party animal. And it is and will ever be MY party animal“
„Of course“ Dirk nodded and his face told different.
I was close to drag you violently away from the two when you joined us, All sweaty, naked chest, you hugged me from behind and kissed my neck. „ Ah, precious, that^s fun! Come, dance with me!“
If only we^d been in an SM-club, I would have slapped you hard, would have forced you down on your knees to fuck your mouth like i did at Madame Claire^s , to show everyone that you were mine.
But we still were in a gay club , surrounded by bloody gay Duranies.Fuck!
„Something wrong?“ you whispered in my ear, as you with no doubt felt my tension.
„You bet!“ I whispered back. „Wait ^til we^re home.“
„What…“ you started
„Not here, Not now“ I said quietly „I^ll call us a taxi. »
Took us a while to say goodbye to everyone and with every minute it became harder and harder for me to control myself. Your shirt was somehow gone and when we finally left, you only wore the jacket of the glitter suit on your bare torso.

As soon as we had stepped out the bar you blurted « What was that about ? »
„Not now. Wait until we^re home!“ I said sharply, not wanting to make a scene in the taxi. It was raining when we arrived at the little house. Without a word I went in and gunned for the bathroom, as i needed a few minutes to calm down. It didn^t work. So i stormed into the living room, where you sat on the sofa, smoking, two glasses of Whisky on the table.
„What^s gotten into you?“ I yelled „ What the hell has gotten into you?“
Never before had i yelled at you, and you stared at me with your big brown eyes, completely taken aback, what made me even more angry.
„ Oh please, Roger! Do you think your bloody puppy eyes are working here?“
„ I have absolutely no clue what you are talking about` » you said quietly.
« You can^t be that naive, Roger ! Dancing topless in a gay bar, letting two devoted Duranies rub their cocks at you ? Where^s your shirt gone, eh ? Where is it ? »
And then you had me pinned against the wall. It happened so fast that I had no chance. For the first time ever you used your bodily strength against me, holding my wrists so tight that it hurts.
„They haven^t rubbed their cocks at me. We were dancing. And they asked me for the shirt as a donation for an auction. An auction for the AIDS foundation they are supporting, And no, I^m not naive, not at all. I love you, I would never cheat on you. You should know that. Much to my regret you obviously don^t. I^ll go for a run.“ with that, you let go of my wrists and disappeared into the bedroom to get your running clothes.
I followed you right behind. „ Do you know what it looked like, Roger? You sandwiched between them? Kieran and Dirk were thinking that it^s a kind of foreplay or something“
„ I so don^t care what Kieran and Dirk have thought. I like to dance, so i danced. I would have loved to dance with you, but you prefered to talk to the birthday boy who would have dropped down on his knees before you if i would not have been there. Sir !! Sir, my ass! You are calling me naive, Nick ? That guy had a hard-on all evening just from talking with you. I understand that, yeah, i really do. Even if you^d read the inscription on a detergent package your voice can give one shivers all over, I know that. Now get out of my way, I really need to clear my head, yeah ? »
Wordlessly I stepped back to let you leave. The bitter taste of dispute on my tongue I sank down on the bed and felt like an idiot.
After a few minutes I decided to follow you.Which was utterly stupid, because i had no idea about your routes, but still…I just had to do something.
To my surprise you sat on the steps in front of the house, soaking wet from rain.
« It^s raining » you said quietly.
« Yeah, obviously » I plopped beside you. « I^m sorry, Roger. »
« Don^t be,Pulling out my shirt in a bar full of gay fans wasn^t one of my smartest ideas, i guess. And to be honest…at least one of them had a hard-on. Or whatever has poked against my bum. I left at that point, I wasn^t so eager to find out about it, really not »
« And I had zero interest in Kieran. Even if he would have dropped down to his knees and called me master.“ I lay an arm around you and pulled you close.
„You want to be called master?“ you chuckled.
« Right now you can call me idiot » I sighed, planting little kisses on the wet skin of your lovely neck.
« As you wish, idiot ! » Our lips met, light and soft, like an unspoken question.My hand found it^s way under your running shirt and although your skin was all wet, it still felt warm , almost hot under my fingers. The kiss deepened and you reached for the back of my neck, pulling me even closer. Pushing up the hem of your shirt, I sucked at your lower lip, biting it gently , while my thumb rubbed over one rock hard nipple.
„Get up“ I breathed into your mouth.
„Why so?“ you mumbled, not wanting to break the kiss.
„Because I want to unpack those quite usable inches of your^s »
« And what are you planning to do with my inches ? »you whispered, grinding your hips against me.
« Probably I^ll take them in my mouth and suck them dry. Or maybe I^ll stroke them all the way to your heavy balls while I^ll burry my own inches into your tight hot ass. But then, maybe I^ll fuck your hungry greedy mouth instead,making you choke. Hard decision. Nearly as hard as my cock.“
„Whatever you want, idiot.“ You gasped and those inches throbbed invitingly against my tigh.
„I said I want you to get up. Oh, wait…get rid of that shirt first. You are used to get rid of your shirt lately, aren^t you?“
„Do you need it for an auction?“ you chuckled but in one swift move you pulled it over your head, exposing the glistening wet skin underneath.
„Oh“ I gasped „ What a brilliant idea. I could go for your helix and make you cum on it six times. I bet that would make the highest bids ever ! Just imagine that, Roger. *Cum drenched shirt of Roger *nottheonefromqueen* Taylor. Taylor-Rhodes. Who is mine. All mine, that hot as hell oversexed slut.“
« If you won^t stop your utterly dirty talk, you can give it away with my pants, because when you will keep that up, i will come into them any minute ! » you moaned hoarsly.
« Oh, really ? That would be interesting, Rrrroger. But keep in mind that i^ll fuck you anyway and i so don^t care if you have already jizzed or not. I just haven^t made up my mind about if I^ll fuck your mouth or your ass.“ I sank my teeth in the softness of that curve, of the bodypart of your^s i had chosen to be my very own erotic playground and only rubbed my palm against some quite ouststanding inches as you, yelling out my name, came right into your soaking wet pants.
You were still panting when I pulled you up, slammed you against the front door and had your all wet and sticky pants down in no time. Using your own cum to make you ready for me, I pushed all the way into you. A very few deep, hard thrusts and I came with such a force that i felt like i^d pass out.
We sank down on the doorsteps, both shaking heavily, holding each other for dear life.
„What was that?“ you panted.
„A very wet and very quick quickie“ I gasped , still trying to fill my lungs with air properly.
„You made me cum from talking“ you chuckled and your lips were searching mine.
„Had to improvise, Forgot the detergent package“ i mumbled into your mouth.
You reached for that wet shirt on the floor and spanked my back with it. „Har har. Rhodes!“
„It^s Rhodes-Taylor, huh? And you know what? I just have found out that i^m pretty jealous sometimes! »
« That^s nothing new, Nick. I have told you before that you don^t have to be ! Would you trust me, at least ? »
I cupped your wet cheeks with my hands and looked into that well known dark mahogany. Your eyes were still fogged with the afterglow of lust,drops of water in your lashes from the heavy rain which had never stopped.
„I trust you, Roger. It^s the bunch of drunk gay fans I^m not trusting an inch. And I really think you are a bit naive at that point. You…my god, Roger, you are so sexy ! And the fact that you don^t seem to realise that makes you even more sexy. They are calling you sexcymbal, for fuck^s sake ! »
« Nicholas James ! We are bloody popstars. We have fans who are dreaming of having sex with us. That includes gay fans, yeah. Probably one gorgeous drag queen has jerked off tonight with a topless picture of me in his head. Probably the little birthday boy did the same with the sound of your voice in his head and the feeling of your lips who knows where. But you know what ? I don^t care. Because i^m sitting here in the pouring rain with you and just came into my bloody pants and you filled me with your cum. Let them dream of something they^ll never have. WE don^t have to dream it! Can we go in now, i^m fucking freezing !“

We filled the tub, opened yet another bottle of champagne and sat in the hot water for nearly two hours until we were completely shrivelled.
And then it was lovemaking again. Slow, sweet, beautiful lovemaking.
If all our arguements end like this, I can for sure live with that.

Chapter Text

Carlos called the other day and asked if he could come over.
„I need a few drinks, and I don^t wanna drink at home. Sonya would probably kill me. I need a break, to be honest. I love this woman, I really do, but she^s almost unbearable right now.Call the LeBons, maybe Yas and Si have some advises how to deal with pregnancy »he said.
So you went shopping for some food and a lot of cocktails
Meanwhile i did some cleaning and had to grin when i put last night^s closhes in the washing machine.
„Hey precious“ you called when you were back. „Where are you?“
„Bedroom“ I shouted as I just had changed the bedding.
„Oh, you were diligent here“ you grinned when you appeared.
„You bet! Come here, luv“ I pulled you close and kissed you passionately.
So passionately that we both got hard.
„Too bad we^ll have guests and i have to go into the kitchen“ grinding your hips against mine, you seemed to have no intention to leave, though.
„Oh, you can go into the kitchen. I^ll follow you. We still have some olive oil in the kitchen, haven^t we?“ I growled and bit your neck yet again.
„Extra vergine“ you chuckled.
„Won^t be wasted“ I assured and no, it was definetely not wasted.

„I cant stand this for another 5 months“ Carlos sighed and you handed him another glass of his own mixture.
„You can! You will! Believe me.“ Simon patted his arm.
« Keep in mind that it^s not her, it^s the hormones“ Yassie chuckled.
„Yeah, i know. And I hate myself for needing some time out.“
„Carlos! It’s ok. She^s pregnant, not you! It^s absolutly ok to have some time for yourself ! » The model assured. «Simon went sailing when I became that hormone monster. It^s ok. You are just having an evening with friends here. Trace and Gela wanted me to greet you guys, by the way. Saw them a few days ago for a girl^s night. What was it about the joint, Nick, huh?“
„You^re smoking dope? You should have told me! I would have brought something“ Carlos was quite surprised.
« I^ll get you on that » I grinned « But we^re just using it for special occasions »
« Such as ? » Simon asked
« When deep relaxation is needed » you chuckled and turned slightly pink.
« Ha ! » the singer blurted. « Drummer boy blushed! The most certain sign that it^s something sexual ! »
« You really don^t have to know everything, Simon John Charles ! » I elbowed him.
« And now you have him all curious ! » his wife laughed.
„Change of subject.Drinks, anyone? » you smiled and the pink deepened into red.
„Yeah! Drinks! Let^s fill up the drummer boy so that he tells us everything!“ Si cheered.
„It^s not me who^s well known for blurting out things when drunk, huh, Simon?“ you smirked and punched him in the belly.
„Well, what can i say? It worked, didn’t it? May I please have another one of those fab cocktails?“ he winked.
„Me too!“ Carlos sighed again.
« Antonio Antonio » I laughed « Is it really THAT bad ? »
„You have no idea! I feel like a bloody sex slave“ he blurted.
„Er…and the bad thing about that is?“ Yassie chuckled.
„Believe it or not, it^s waaay too much. Could someone please steal that bloody strap-on-thing?“ he whined. „I mean, it^s ok every once in a while, but ALWAYS ? She doesn^t want it any other way lately. Must be the hormones. »
„ Oh! My! God!“ you blurted. „ Nick is pregnant!“
„My, that would be a gorgeous baby, I bet!“ Simon howled with laughter.
„A green-eyed Elvis-clone!“ Yasmin giggled. « How cute ! But honestly, Carlos, I think it^s …hm, how to explain ? Maybe she doesn’t want you being inside of her right now because she^s afraid that something would happen to the baby. The feeling that there^s a little human growing inside of you is really strange the first time.“
„Well, it will be the first and last time, Yas, according to her age. Doctor said everything is all right, but she^s so stressed. And she thinks once the baby is there, we can^t do anything SM, so she^s all the way dominant and very very sadistic. I miss all the snoggling and the sweet and cosy moments at all. Darn, i just want to hold her, telling her how brave and beautiful she is, but she won^t let me! It^s frustrating. I don^t know what to do. I don^t wanna argue with her, as this would stress her even more. Any advises?“
„You have to talk to her, Carlito. That^s the only thing I can tell you ! » you said calmly.
„Yeah“ Simon nodded. „You have to! We did this a lot when Yassie was pregnant, and sometimes it ended in really hard fights withs lots of yelling and insulting from both sides. But after all it^s necessary. We survived. You^ll survive, too, believe me! And once the little one is there… Carlos, everything will be forgotten ! it’s so so so wonderful to be a dad ! To be parents.And we will help you. We will be there for you.So you can tell Sonya that she doesn’t have to be afraid that the whole SM-thing will be over with the arrival of the new earthling.“
„Thank you, Simon. You are one great man. I have never told you, but …really, you^re a very important person for me. » and the more than just slightly drunk man pulled the tall singer close and cried silently into the fabric of his shirt.
Yassie, you and I went into the kitchen to give them some privacy.
„The good thing is that Si and Carlito will finally bury the hatchet .“ You grinned and headed for the coffee maker.
„ Hopefully YOU won’t be jealous now. I would have had expected that Carlos would talk with you about that, not with Simon.“Yassie said.
„Well, i^m no dad.“ You pointed out. „ and what he needs now is a dad, not some gay friend who has no clue about all that. No, I^m not jealous, Yas. A bit sad , maybe, because when it comes to such things, we will always be a little left out, huh?“
„You would be a great dad, Roger!“ Yas pulled you close. „And Lulah is as close to you as a daughter.“
« Yeah, but she isn^t my daughter, Yas. It^s ok, I^ve made my peace with that long time ago. The worst thing was when Steve had forbidden any contact to Gem and Jules. That almost killed me. It was the only time that I really wanted to be a bloody straight vanilla.“ You smiled and there was a hint of sadness in your eyes that nearly broke my heart.
A very drunk puerto-rican stayed in our guestroom that night and his snoring could be heard in the bedroom when we huddled up to one another under the blankets.
„I love you“ I whispered and gently kissed your neck.
„And I love you“ you pressed your warm , solid body against mine and pulled me close. We always lay on the side, you behind me, holding me in your wonderful arms. Sometimes, mostly when you had been or still were in sub mode , we would face each other and your head rested on my chest and it would be me who had my arms around you. Once again I felt your strength and was all the way thankful for the power you had given to me. I could still feel my wrists burn from your tight grip the other day. Don^t mess with the drummer, i thought, chuckling to myself.
„You should talk to Son, Nick. From Dom to Dom, so to speak.I don^t know so much about women or pregnancy and all that, but i guess i know about her fears. Soon the pregnancy will show and she will be percieved as a mom-to-be.As far as I can see she thinks that Carlos will not take her seriously as a femdom then and that^s why she is as dominant as she can be right now. She wants to make him happy and does not know that how she acts isn’t what he wants. Just my very own assumption, though. Maybe I^m wrong, but i know her quite well. »
« Hmhm, you could be right. Will talk to her.Although I still think Carlos should do that“
„Let me tell you something about the * sub-mode*, Nick. If you are deep into it, it^s very hard to speak up against the one who keeps you there. As I told you, I know her very well, and i know she’s very strict in her *Dom-mode*. Out of that position
It^s not easy for Carlos. It^s easier to run away and get drunk with friends, huh ? Proper subs won^t complain »you explained.
I turned to face you before i asked « Has there ever been something you didn^t tell me because proper subs won^t complain ? »
« I didn^t tell you how utterly gutted I was when that little private wedding ceremony in the Velvet was cancelled, and ever since i wonder what would have happened « you grinned.
« You were not the only one who was utterly gutted, handsome. I won^t tell you what would have happened, though. But maybe we should go to Wales again as soon as possible.Would you like that?“ I let my fingers run through your hair and pulled at it shortly. Long enough to be noticed. The toggle-switch worked with the slightest touch , as your face told me, and I was very frustrated that I had too much alcohol for any actions in Dom-mode.
« I^d love that, Nick » you said quietly.
We drifted into sleep, your head on my chest and my arms around you.

Booking that cottage again for the upcoming weekend was the first thing i did when i was awake, and I didn’t tell you about that. Out of the blue, huh ?
For once it was me leaving a note on the nightstand as I accompanied our friend home and I didn^t want to wake you up.
I nearly gasped when Son opened the front door. All in black leather and full make up including the blood red nail polish and monster high heels.
As soon as Carlos had stepped in, she collared him and pointed to the floor.
Carlito gave me a *See what I mean*-look and sank wordlessly on his knees.
Oh well. No *good morning*, no kiss, no hug, Just like he had told us.
When she turned to me, though, she was smiling all over and pulled me into a heartily embrace. „ Hey you! Come in! Coffee?“
„Yes please. And Carlos could need some, too. We got quite drunk.“
„Oh, he surely can have one, he just has to ask for it nicely.“ She said harshly and guided me into the kitchen, leaving Carlos where he was.
Sonya was unnaturally hyper when she gunned for the coffee maker, talking without pause. Her hands were trembling as she put the coffee into the filter and I hugged her from behind.
„Let me do that, yeah? Jeez, Son, calm down ! You don^t have to prove anything to me. Neither to Carlos. It^s ok, Sonya, it^s ok ! » I soothed and she flung her arms around me as for dear life.
„I can^t do this, Nick! I^m too old to have a baby! I can^t be a mom » she sobbed heartbreakingly.
« You are not too old and you will be a great mom. You will be a great mom, a wonderful wife and a magnificent mistress, darling. And Carlito will be one great dad, a loving husband and a devoted sub, yeah ? You are not alone, Son ! Let your man support you ! He wants to be the broad shoulder to lean on and you just don^t let him. You^ll have us, Roger and I. You will have Yas and Si. You will have Mike and Jay. You are not alone! You don^t have to play the merciless domina here 24/7. It won^t be over when the little one is here, ok ? It won^t be!
„I^m so bloody scared! And i don^t wanna be that weak. I wanna be strong. I have always been strong. I want to be strong for Carlos. I have a bloody restaurant…i hate myself right now, I^m not me and I^m… »
« SONYA ! STOP THAT ! » Carlos stormed in and took his wife out of my arms right into his. She cried into her husband^s shirt and I left quietly. The two would talk now. I was very concerned about her condition, though. It looked like a nervous breakdown or something.
« Back ! » I shouted when I entered our hallway.
„Kitchen“ you called back and I had to smile broadly when i approached you as the tip of your nose was white from flour.
„Yummy! Pancakes!“ I licked the flour away and you chuckled: „Ah, Nick, that tickles!“
I told you about Son and the state she was in while we ate.
„Dang! I bet she won^t go to her doc. She^s so bloody stubborn sometimes!“ you sighed.
„She^s a taurus“ I pointed out.
« Oh well, Nick, i promise you, if I ever will be pregnant and close to a breakdown, i will go to the doctor, aye ? But honestly…I have an idea. Do you remember Sheila? From the party ? She wanted to call, for some running, but she never did. Maybe I should call her. She^s a midwife“
„ Hmhm. And Son would kill you if you^d show up with a midwife without her permission!“
„What if you^d invite them, Carlos and Son, for …I dunno, lunch ar something and I would show up with Sheila after a run? Surprise surprise!“
„Worth a try.“ I reached for your hand and kissed your knuckles, one after one. „Have I told you lately that i love you, my handsome husband?“
„Oh yeah, you have. Every day since we are together. And you show me. Every day since we are together, what^s even more important“ you smiled
„So did you, luv“
„Because i do. I do love you. Although you are quite an idiot sometimes ! »
« My brain doesn^t work properly when you are near. » I grinned. „ Especially when you take your shirt off“
„Ah? Like that?“ you took the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head.
„Nice, Very nice.“ I nodded. « And do you know what makes my synapses dancing mambo and gives me a bloody hard-on ? »
« Of course I know » and you glided elegantly under the table, unzipped my pants and took my throbbing hardness into the warmth of your mouth.

Two days later Sheila stood in front of our door, smiling all over.
„Hello Nick! Long time no see! What a surprise when Roger called me ! »
« He was waiting for your call, actually » I winked and guided her in.
„…well, i wasn^t sure if he really meant it when he said we could run together.At least. I^m one crazy fan, huh?“
„Fancy a coffee, crazy fan? Believe me, Roger never says things he doesn^t mean to say. He would^t have given his number out if he didn’t want you to call . Take a seat, Sheila.“
„Thank you.And coffee would be great. I^m nervous, though. Let^s say last time I saw you two was all the way unexpected and…er…feels strange to be here. At your home.Crazy fan, you know“ she grinned coyly.
„ You weren^t that shy the last time“ I chuckled and poured her some coffee. „ Milk? Sugar?“
„Black like my soul, thanks. Well. Last time you weren^t Nick and Roger. You were Dom and sub, Roger and I shared the same planet, huh? And the day after, at that brunch, i was still so hyper….where is he, Roger, by way?“
„Picking up Saffron. Since we^d been on vacation together she joins Rog quite a lot for running.As you may have noticed, we are pretty close, the LeBons and us. » I winked.
« Duh ! That was indeed obvious ! » she laughed „I have been a bit envious, I admit. Neil..the guy you^ve met at the party…and I, we are friends only, play partners, so to speak. To see your closeness was touching yet hurting somehow“
„I understand. Sometimes I can^t believe how blessed I am, i tell you!“ I smiled at her, knowing quite well how she felt.
It was just then when the middlest LeBonling rushed breathlessly into the kitchen.
„Woah! Sorry for being late! Bloody reporters in our front yard! Dad is pissed, mum is annoyed and Otchee is playing the nice guy…oh, hi, I^m Saffron!“
„Hiya, I^m Sheila.“ The woman smiled „Nice to meet you.“
„Do I have to safe Roger by playing the bossy bitch?“ I chuckled when I kissed my godchild.
„I came out alive, thank you » you said as you came in. « Hey, Sheila ! «
« They took pictures of Amb and Danny kissing and dad freaked out » Saffy explained. « There was quite a fight going on ! »
« The thought of reporters taking pictures in the front yard is indeed very unpleasant ! » I smirked, thinking about what had happened in OUR front yard a few days ago.
„Ah! I don^t even wanna think about that!“ you giggled and pulled me close for a kiss.
« Did you go for the snoggling championship yet again ? » Saffron grinned.
« Not quite“ I laughed and we got another one of those famous eye-rolls.
When you three were gone I started to prepare lunch and the LeBon-couple came over shortly before Son and Carlito arrived.
The plan worked out very well and Sheila became the Rodriguez^ personal midwife.

Wow, pretty much what i have written here so far, and there are still so many memories popping up.
Funny what one remembers . Little things which don^t seem to be important, but still…let me do a time leap backwards here, as something has crossed my mind.
The first christmas we have spend together. Taylors and Bates, over at Castle Bromwich at your parent^s .
« Roger, hon, let me do this. » My mom took the plates you wanted to bring to the dinner table, as your hands were not healed yet and you still wore wound dressings.
Your brother and his family were^t there. It was just shortly after we had our outing to the press and despite the fact that he had agreed to our way, he wasn^t that amused and didn^t want to have the girls around us yet.
You were utterly sad about that.
„Ah, thank you, Sylvia, but it^s ok, really ! » your smile didn^t reach the corners of your eyes, though.
I felt so sorry. It was christmas, for fuck^s sake. Steve should have known how much it did hurt you not seeing your nieces.
Your parents tried their very best to lighten the mood and I was followed by your dad as i went outside for a fag.
„Next christmas we^ll be all together“ he winked, patting my shoulder.
Amazing how he knew what was going on in my head.
„I like your straight forward way. But some people will need a little time, huh? » Hugh shrugged.
« Yeah. I know. And I understand that. It^s just…Roger shouldn^t be punished for being who he is.“
„True“ the older you nodded. „But you can^t force Steve into acceptance, Nick. He^s ready when he^s ready. And he will be. Just give him time.He cares so much for his little brother“
„Again…I know. My head knows. My heart feels different.“ I said quietly.
„It^s good to see how much YOU care for his little brother. He will see that, too. We, Jean and I, knew it from the first moment on. Do me a favor and don^t prove us wrong, yeah ? »his eyes darted into mine and i realized that Steve was not the only one who didn^t trust me yet.
« Let me tell you again what I have told Jean : I love Roger. I would never take him away from his family. I would never tell him he^s not good enough. He^s my Mister 110 percent. Bad thing is that he^s 110 percent with everything, and seeing him 110 percent sad sucks big time!“
„Yeah. It does.“ He sighed. „You know what? We^ll have a wonderful evening. We^ll laugh and drink and eat and we won^t let the sadness take over.So straighten yourself, put a smile in your face and make him 110 percent happy, yeah?“
Another thing that i realized. Of course Hugh was very sad, too. Sad that his older son and his granddaughters didn^t show up at christmas.
Not showing up because his other son was* different* and didn^t want to hide any more.
God, what had we done to our families?
„I^m sorry“ I muttered. „ I^m really sorry, Hugh. But we had to do it that way“
„I taught my children to stand up for themselves, Nick. And they both do,in their own way. Shows me that we have done something right, at least“ he winked. „ Now switch on that smile, lad. We^ll have a great evening!“
„Yessir“ I saluted and with real broad grins we went back inside.

The dinner was fantastic, a Bates-Taylor-co-production by my mom, Jean and you.
We had a good amount of wine with it and our mothers were quite giggly and girlish, which was ever so cute and finally made your smile reaching your eyes.
« Careful ! They^ll shortly tell embarrasing tales about your childhood ! » my dad chuckled.
« We^ve heard you ! » Jean laughed. « But i can hardly think of something right now“
„Oh, that^s ok, mum, really ! »you smirked , squeezing her arm.
„You have been such a quiet child, though. Until the day you stole all those milk bottles and started banging on them like mad.“ She smiled warmly at you.“that was it about being quiet. *I^ll be a drummer*, you said“
„Yeah, see, and I was right! That or an Aston Villa goalkeeper“ you grinned. « but being two inches too short left no choice for me. »
« Oh, i^m quite thankful for those missing inches » I assured and kissed your cheek shortly, still not sure about how much exchange of caresses our parents would tolerate.
« Everything happens for a reason somehow, i guess.It only takes a while to find out what for » that look you gave me was so cute, so full of love that i had to kiss you again and I noticed that our moms smiled at each other. I think at that christmas they realized that we were truely madly deeply in love and all other things,the Velvet, Allan, our *way of life* or whatever became irrelevant for the moment.

What brings me to another flashback.
September of our first year together.Tallulah turned 3 and the whole LeBon family was there when we arrived, including Jonathan and his wife and kids.
It was the first time we saw him since Simon had thrown him out.
„He.Of all people he!“ you had muttered when you found out that Jonathan is Lulah^s godfather.
Saffron opened the door, smiling broadly at us. „Hiya! Wooohoo, there^s the cake!“
Of course you had baked a fabulous birthday cake for your little darling.
She was obsessed with butterflies, so the cake turned out to be a giant butterfly in her fav colors, pink , blue and yellow.
Saff led us in, yelling « Otchee brought the cake. You have to see it!“
Within the blink of an eye the birthday child appeared in the hallway, bouncing like a rubber ball. „Uh! Uh-huh! Buttyful butterfly. Rooooger made me a buttyful butterfly!“
Yas took it from you that you could lift up the girl and as always your face was being covered with noisy wet kisses.
« Happy birthday, sweetie ! » you laughed and I felt the familiar lump in my throat. Oversentimental pink jellybean i am.
We went into the living room, Lulah still in your arms, and Anne had to laugh.
„See“ she turned to her youngest son, Dave. *We can all go home now.“
„Naaah!“ you grinned, kissing her and holding out a hand for Dave, who you had never seen before. „ Hi. Roger.“
Unlike his brother, Dave smiled all over when he took your hand to shake it heartily.
„So glad to meet you finally. Hey Nick! Long time no see!“
« Indeed, been a while, Dee » We hugged shortly and was all surprised when Jonathan stood up and shook my hand. Very short, but still. „Nick.“ He nodded.
„Jonathan“ I nearly had to chuckle of his formal tone and face and when you beamed at him all over, taking his hand in both of your^s to squeeze and shake it intensely, I had to turn away to hide that laugh. I met Simon^s gaze and we winked at each oher.
Amber, in turn, sat there, arms crossed, staring at her uncle with a quite sinister eye.
She wasn’t trusting him. Neither was I.
But he had to behave in front of the whole family, huh?
We greeted everyone, the Parvanehs and LeBons, the parents of three friends of Lulah and of course, the three little birthday guests, a boy and two girls and the kids dragged you straight into Lulah^s room.
„Will we ever see him again?“ Yasmin wondered.
„I^ve heard you two want to move in together and you are looking for a house?“ Yassies dad asked as I finally sat down.
„Yeah. Not easy to find something suitable.Not very gay friendly, most of those brokers“ i nodded.
„ We have lesbian neighbours, they said the same. Utterly sad, that is. In 2005.“ The boy^s father said. „Nell and Gloria had to search for ages“
„You know what?“ Ambers face lit up like a christmas tree. « There^s a house just down the road with a * for sale* sign in the front yard ! The elderly couple living there is moving out into a retirement home and they are lovely ! you have to go there ! Why not now ? We would be neighbours ! How cool would that be ! »
„Yeah! Come on, we^ll go!“ Saffy was all excited and so we went down the road together, the girls and I , and there was a man in the front yard, cutting the hedges.
„Hey Mister Hayes! This is my godfather and he^s looking for a house! Is your^s still available?“ Amber shouted.
« Oh, the tres bon ladies ! Always a pleasure » the old man smiled and turned to me.
« So you are the famous Nicholas, I assume ? And you are looking for a home ? »
« Aye » i smiled. « for me and my partner » I liked the man at first sight. I liked the house at first sight.
When he led us in and guided us through the rooms I was in love with it.
„You like?“ Mister Hayes asked.
„I love!“ I answered, matter-of-factly. „ So, would you sell your lovely house to two freaky gay musicians?“
„I surely would“ he winked.
„Amb!“ I turned to my godchild. „ Go, get Roger!“
„YAY!“ she yelled and rushed off.
Not even an hour later we were the official owners of the lovely house, and slightly drunk from the whisky we had with the incredible Mister Albert Hayes, we went back to celebrate the best birthday ever. You were the star of the party as you juggled with the small cups and plates which were included to the play kitchen we brought for Tallulah and the kids laughed as much as their families. The buttyful butterfly was delicious, too.
Another kitchen for Lulah was the first thing you bought for the lovely house.
That evening in bed we made plans for our house. What furnitures would we buy? What colors for the walls? Would there be space for a private little play room?
„Hm. I don^t think we^d need a playroom.Keep in mind that the house will be occupied by all those girls, and i don^t wanna answer questions about locked doors or something. Some hooks in the ceiling will do.“ you said.
„How will you explain hooks in the ceiling then?“ i grinned.
„For decoration.Candelabers. Hanging baskets. Whatever.“ You chuckled and I reached for the handcuffs in the nightstand.
„I^ll go for * whatever*. You^ll be very decorative, all naked and outstretched and fixed at a hook, my dear whatever!“
No hooks in the ceiling yet, but the metal at the headboard did just fine.I^m so glad that we kept this bed.

Ah, I^m a little lost here now, Roger!
I miss you so much. This promo tour with Nigel was the worst idea ever.
Well, good thing is, that we , John and I, are talking a lot, and yet again he reminded me of something.
It was shortly after you got your collar and we had an appearance at a late night show.
David was not amused about the collar, nor the shirt you wore. One of your statement shirts, saying *no place for homophobia, racism, sexcism and facism*.
« Is that really necessary, Rog ? to rub your sexual preferences in other people^s faces ? » he sighed.
Your brows came up and the other two Taylors chuckled, knowing you well enough to tell what that meant.
« Oh.I didn^t know that being against facism or homophobia is a sexual preference ! » you wondered.
« Please, Roger ! You are here as the drummer of a pop band, not for political statements ! And take this bloody thing off. Everyone knows what it stands for. People ain^t stupid, you know!“ David blurted.
„Ah-huh. What does it stand for then, Dave? Would you ask Simon, JT or Ands to take off there wedding rings? You have no fucking clue what it took me to get this bloody thing and no, i won^t take it off. I won^t take it off and I won^t change my shirt. If you think this is about sexual preferences, I will wear the *spank me, fuck me, suck me off* shirt next time!“
We all had to laugh so hard we cried, and David just rushed off, mumbling something like „ that bloody stubborn idiot“
„Bloody idiot yourself“ you said quietly. « Are we going or what ? »
« Please please puuuuh-leeeeze, Rog, wear that shirt at the next concert ! I^d die ! » Simon howled.
« I have no such shirt, Charlie, i just wanted to piss him off.“
„You scored, i^d say“ Ands grinned.
It was a great gig and the most honest interview ever. Never before had we been asked so many personal questions in a live TV show.
Your collar kept unmentioned as long as the cameras were on, but the host^s assistant, a very attractive brunette in her 40^s, followed us to the wardrobe and touched your arm slightly before you went in.
„Excuse me.May I ask you something? »
« Sure » you smiled, happy about how the evening had turned out.
« It has a meaning, hasn^t it ? » her finger tipped shortly against the cool metal and we noticed the ring of O at her left hand.
„It indeed has“ you winked.
„ Who owns the key?“ she asked softly and i realised that she was actually flirting with you.
„That^s the guy with those incredibly green eyes who stands behind you, Madam.“ you said with a smile and she turned to me, grinning, and sighed. „Aw! That sucks. The good ones are all taken. Or gay. Or both. It was great to have you tonight, you guys are fab. I^ll go home whining now!“

That collar. It is so much a part of you now that I can hardly remember how you looked without it .
Despite the trouble it caused in our management and with your brother, most of the reactions were positive. People seemed to respect it and there were not so many questions asked about it as we thought.
There was this one press conference for the release of our second album, though.
You had a horrible cold and couldn’t even speak, but we all wanted you to be with us as part of the band, of course. There you sat, without your beloved warm scarf, trying not to look as miserable as you felt, when one reporter yelled : « Roger, what^s it about the collar you wear ? Are you a sex slave or something ? »
There was a moment of silence and then Nigel surprised us all when he said : « So glad someone is asking that finally ! Roger is, in fact, our personal band slave, yeah. »
I was uttlerly puzzled. What the hell had gotten into him ?
„ Duh, you bet!“ Ands blurted. „we lock him under the stairs like that bloody Harry Potter every evening!“
„Oh yeah. And every morning he has to clean all our shoes“ Simon nodded.
„He failed badly today, that^s why he isn^t allowed to speak today…“ John continued.“ See, stupid questions deserve stupid answers, and we don^t like your lack of respect, man ! Can^t you see that our drummer should rather be in bed and that he^s just here because he deserves to be honored for his important part on the album? So do us a favour and ask us about that album, yeah?“
Everyone applauded and that reporter looked quite ashamed.
My, aren^t the boys just great ? All of them.

Chapter Text

Back to the timeline, speaking about the boys…
Andy had one of his best moments the day before we went to Wales again.
His timing wasn^t the very best, though.
Friday, early evening. I just had to tell you that we^d leave for Wales the next day. It was planned as a surprise, but Rupert had called to ask you if you could work in the HLTW this weekend. Sheila had decided that Son and Carlito needed a time off ,what left poor Rupert in chatge for the restaurant.
Of course you wanted to help, and I had to tell you that you^d have other duties over the weekend.
Good thing that Rupert undoubtfully understood that being a proper sub was more important than being a proper cook.
I pulled out the phone , switched off the mobiles and sent you into the bedroom for the cuffs and the bag.
„Naked and cuffed back here in five minutes“i commanded
I wanted to have you in sub-mode the whole weekend and since my surprise didn^t work out, I tried another thing to please your *out of the blue*-fetish.
I fixed a chain at the hook in the living room and waited.
When you appeared in the doorway I noticed that I hadn^t seen you like that for quite a while. Naked, cuffed and that slightly puzzled expression in your face when you were willing to be sub but are not fully into it yet.
„Come here“ I said quietly as you hesitated.
When you had reached me, you placed the bag beside me and dropped down to your knees, leaning your head against my legs. A sign for me that you needed some time to adjust and I gently stroke your hair until you leaned back a little and folded your hands behind your neck.
« I will hurt you today, Roger. Choose three things you would like to be hurt with“
First you picked the cane. No surprise. Still your favorite instrument.
The next choice was quite unexpected. Something we had bought in a fetish store in Germany when we were on tour and we never had used it. A thick spiked leather paddle what would surely make you bleed. The last item were the fangs. Looked like you wanted to try out some serious blood play. I wasn’t prepared for that, i have to admit, but I wanted you to choose and that’s what you did.
„Get up, To the chain, arms up“
It was just when I had fixed the cuffs as the doorbell rang.
I uncuffed you and sent you into the bedroom again before i went to open the door.
It was Ands.
„Sorry, man! Had a car breakdown. Need a place to sleep. Have been at the LeBons, but no one is home. »
You should have gone for a hotel, i thought, but stepped back to let him in.
„Give me a minute, Ands. » i said when i had guided him into the kitchen.
I went into the bedroom to find you sitting on the bed, still naked and cuffed.
„it^s Andy. He needs a place to sleep.“ i said quietly and pulled you close.
« Uh. I^ll be down in a minute » you whispered « need some time here »¨
„I^ll wait for you. God, i^m sorry, Roger ! »
« It^s ok, just gimme a minute. »
We found Andy in the living room where he looked at the chain dangling from the ceiling.
„Jeez, Andy! I said give me a minute! « I blurted,
« Duh ! Sorry ! I was looking for an ashtray.“ He bent down to pick up the paddle. „Cor blimey!“
„This is not an ashtray, Ands! Why didn^t you stay in the kitchen, for fuck^s sake!“ I yelled at him.
„Hey.“ You said softly and lay a hand on my arm. « No yelling, Nick.I know , you two can hardly talk to each other without getting loud, but right now i can^t stand that, ok ? »
« I^m sorry » Andy muttered, still staring at the spiked paddle in his hand.
„You should be!“ I sighed. „Gimme that!“
„Uh. I haven^t planned to keep it, no worries“ he grinned, and despite my anger I had to laugh. „Do sit down, I^ll get you an ashtray. Beer?“
„Sumthin^stronger, if possible“ he plopped on the sofa and lit a cigarrette,
« Whisky ? » you suggested and opend the liquor cabinet.
« Yeh ! Cool ! »
There we sat, ashtray and whisky on the table, a chain dangling from the ceiling , a cane and a little black box with fangs on the floor beside an open goodie bag, and no one said a word.Awkward, indeed , quite awkward.
Andy. Of all people Andy.
It was him who spoke first.
„So this is how you blokes are spending your Friday evenings, huh?“ he chuckled.
„This is actually how we had planned to spend the evening, before we got interupted“ i smirked
„Timing is everything, you know!“ the guitarist shrugged. „ I^m sorry. Did i say that before? Good thing is that I finally know what this monster hook is for. I always wanted to ask you about that.May i ask you another thing ? Very personal question, though.“
« Only if you can stand the answer » you laughed and i felt your warm hand on my thigh.
„You still think I have a problem with you two being a couple, eh?“
„if this is the very personal question, Ands, no, i don^t think you have a problem with us being a couple. I only think you have a problem with this » you pointed at the chain.
« Naah, Roger. I don^t understand it, right, but that doesn^t mean I have a prob with it. Would you help me to understand, yeah? So, if this is all consensual, why do you have to be fixed to a chain?“ he wondered.
„First of all it^s something to hold on to, because otherwise I^d probably fall over. Everything else is more for the brain fuck.“ You explained carefully, not knowing for how much information Andy was ready
„What^s the brain fuck, then?“ he probed into it.
I was really surprised by his serious interest. We had never talked to him alone about that, and , like you, i had thought that he didn^t want to know something about it anyway.
„To feel…er…helpless, somehow. To feel like being at the mercy of Nick. And, as odd as it may sounds, it^s also for protection.Out of a reflex i would probably try to cover me with my hands, and a cane strike across my fingers won^t be such a pleasure at all“ you were still not sure about how much you could tell, but like always you wanted to be as honest as possible.
„Makes sense“ Andy nodded. „Yeh, makes sense…I feel like being at the mercy of la Diva everytime we^re playing, though“
„See! That^s my natural dominance!“ I chuckled.
« If being a bossy perfectionist could be called dominant, yeh, la diva, that^s what you are. I^m even more scared now that i saw that frecking spiked widget ! » he grinned. „I knew you can bear up against a lot of pain, Rog, since you can shred your hands while playing and you don^t even seem to notice…but seriously…and I know it^s fuckin personal again…THAT turns you on? I mean…you like THAT?“
„If *THAT* means pain in general, yes,if *THAT * is for the paddle, I don^t know. We never have used it.“ You said, matter-of-factly.
„Dang! I^ve ruined a premiere, then? So sorry! „ he laughed.Thanks for your honesty, though, Trace and I have seen a movie recently about a relationship like your^s and we talked about you two a lot, you know.We realised how bloody hard it must be to find someone, and pretty sure it^s even harder when you are gay.Ah, the movie is called* Secretary*. Have you seen it?“
„Maggie Gyllenhaal^s best role ever, if you^d ask me“ I nodded.
„Hm. With no doubt Gyllenhall and Spader are brilliant in their roles, I only had to struggle with the obvious borderline personal disorder part.“ you explained.
„Yeah, i see.“ Ands agreed „ But apart from that.. the whole dynamic and such..made me understand things.I thought that one has to be weak to be submissive, a weak personality.But Gyllenhaal^s character is way stronger than Spader^s , huh? And at that point the disorder thing fits for me, because it^s part of her strength to overcome it.Or to find a way to deal with it, whatever.“
Oh well, Andy surprised me to no end that day.
I had definately underestimated him.
« You have to be strong to allow yourself to be weak, so to speak » i said, pouring us another drink.
„Ah, no.I don^t think so. It^s more about trust than strenght“ you pointed out.
« Before you trust others, you need to have faith in yourself, eh ? That^s the hardest thing sometimes. Fucking hard .Self-doubts suck ! » the guitarist raised his glass. „To trust and strenght“
We talked until 2 in the morning and Andy was still asleep when we left for Wales.
You were as far away from sub-mode as possible, though, and much more focused on Andy^s visit than on the things to come.I had to change that. But how ? Too much whisky and not enough sleep didn^t help, neither you nor myself.
Not a very good start.
Once again I had to accept that things can^t be planned if life has other plans. I still wanted it . Wanted to be strict this weekend. Clearly defined roles for 2 days.
Not easy to find a trigger when being on the motorway and the one who has to be triggered is driving…
„Why the paddle?“ I finally asked.
„Huh? Erm..I dunno.“ You glanced shortly at me and I knew that you were doing it again…not speaking out what you wanted.
„C^mon, Roger! We are over that, aren’t we? Why the paddle?“ i lay my hand on your thigh and squeezed it gently.
„I^m scared of it. And that thrills me. Very much“ you said quietly, your eyes fixed at the street before you. « You said you wanted to hurt me. I^m pretty sure this thing hurts like hell »
« You will bleed » You WILL. Not *you would* . Surely you got the meaning.
„I don^t mind, quite the reverse. I want to know what it feels like.“
„You will know it very soon“ I promised and squeezed that muscled thigh again. Not very gently this time.
At least there was this expression in your face now. Willing, but not fully into it. For the moment that was enough.
We stopped at a petrol station for the worst coffee ever and reached the cosy cottage shortly before noon.What happened next was what we call our little *Wales-ritual*
Leaned against the car we shared a cigarette and held hands.
« Are you sure about the paddle ? »i asked quietly, looking straight into your eyes.
« As sure as I can be » you nodded
Last security check before the roller coaster ride begun, so to speak.
After a long , deep kiss I went into the house. You needed more time than ususal to follow and i started to worry that the fear might be stronger than the thrill, but then I heard you coming in with the first load of luggage.Roger, the sub, has arrived.
I lit another cigarette and enjoyed the immense adrenaline rush. Sir Nicholas was ever so excited and hugely pleased as his beloved dummer boy entered the room, naked and cuffed, kneeling before him without hesitation.
„There you are“ I smiled and let my fingers run through your moist hair. I smelled shampoo and soap, the unique scent of your bare skin, the decent but still notable scent of sex. Maybe it was that what made you so irresistible. It was always there. Pheromones. Probably i^m the only person in the world who noticed this, and maybe it^s just imagination. My imagination. Because where you are, there^s always a tad of sex for me, more or less subtile.A little drop of sweat running down your neck. Your tongue darting out to lick shortly over your lips. Visibly hard nipples under your shirt. Something like that.
There wasn^t anything subtile about you being naked and kneeling, though. Like always, the sight alone made me rock hard.
I took my time to simply enjoy this. To enjoy that we were alone, that we^d time. No guitarists or LeBon-girls would ring the doorbell, no stressed Rupert or overemotional Sonya would call. Mobiles had been switched off.
You and me.Nothing else.
„Yes“ you said quietly and had to chuckle. Didn^t want to speak that out loud.
« And what are we going to do now, you and me, alone, hm ? » I tightened my grip of your hair, pulled your head back and bent down to kiss you.
Kissing you when you are in sub-mode is completely different than *normal*.You are softer, more passive, your actions a response to mine.
Two fingers replaced my tongue and your eyes fell close, soft moans escaping from your lips.
« Look at me, my Roger. Let me see your beautiful eyes. »
And god, yes, they were beautiful ! Dark and fogged and wide open, framed by those thick long lashes. Soon those eyes would be filled with tears.
When I had found out about my preferences, that was something what utterly shocked me: how much i like to see tears flowing.
How sick is that?
As I had started to live out my sadistic side, tears had always stopped me, despite my liking. And despite the liking of the one crying.
You were the one who taught me that it^s not bad to like it. I have seen you crying a lot, for many different reasons. My beloved overemotional Roger.
Ah, not the right time for pink jellybeans !
My fingers still in the warm wetness of your mouth, I said: „ Come up here, kneel above me“
You did as being told and i reached for the well known black box and plopped the fangs in.
„Pain and blood, yes?“ I hissed and didn^t wait for an answer as I sank the fake teeth into the soft skin of your neck. My wet fingers found your puckered entrance and while I tasted the familiar metallic warmth on my tongue I slowly penetrated you, giving you a gentle contrast to the literally biting pain.
The small drop of blood running down your skin when I broke the love bite was somehow overwhelmingly erotic. So was your face. Eyes closed again, lips slightly parted, head tilted back. And oh my goodness, those noises you made! I let my tongue flicker over one nipple before I bit a spot right above it and the sharp canine tooth punctuated your skin like a needle. Another drop of blood.Jesus! I liked that. I liked that very much! So did you, as those noises told me, and you started to move with my fingers, forcing them deeper inside.
„Oh no, my Roger! No! Hold still! Hold still you greedy thing!“
„Oh God. Oh god“ you whimpered and your head fell against my shoulder.
„Hold still or I^ll stop!“
Of course i didn^t. I bit you. And my fingers fucked you. Soon you were shaking all over, trying so hard not to move, precum dripped from your rock hard cock on my pants and shirt and my own erection throbbed painfully in it^s fabric cage.
Well, it wasn^t about torturing ME, was it ? I couldn^t stand this, I needed to come.
Pulling my fingers out I moaned „ Down! Suck me. Show me what a talented cocksucker you are ! »
My god, yes ! Yes, you are indeed one talented cocksucker.
Even if you you have to fight against your own needs. But then, maybe, this is exactly what makes it even better.
I came hard and fast deep into your willing throat.
Like always, you licked me clean ever so carefully and closed my pants again.
« Thank you » I panted. « Thank you, luv » reaching for the back of your neck I pressed your head against my thigh, gently stroking your hair.
You slowly calmed down under my touch, well knowing that it would be a long day for you and I won^t allow you to come yet.
« Go make us a coffee. And some snack would be nice, yeah ? » I smiled warmly at you.
When you had left, I lit another cigarette.
Think, Nick. Think. What^s next? We were both not the fittest today because of Andy^s visit and the alcohol. Maybe a nap would be good. Or a walk,Some fresh air before any further actions. And when should I use the paddle finally? The thing was, we both had no idea what it would do to you. The problem with new experiences is that you never know how they^ll turn out.Would it be too much and you^ll have to use the word? Would it be so painful that no more actions would be possible? Ack!
Oh! Wait! In the very beginning of those *dreams and wishes*-messages, you had written something about subtile games in public!
„Roger!“ I shouted „ Skip the snack! We^re going out for lunch! » Brilliant opportunity to try out the new toy i^d bought , ha !
I went into the bedroom for our fabulous bag and found what i was looking for.
Grinning all over I returned to the living room and only seconds later you appeared with a tablet.
„Ah, wonderful! I really need some proper coffee!“ i beamed.“ But first, my Roger, put that tablet down and come here, yeah? I have something for you.“ I held up a plug and the lube. „Put this in, please!“
Nothing new, a plug. You^re used to wear one every once in a while and you weren^t very surprised.
The surprise came when you sat on the floor in front of me, sipping your coffee, and i switched on the remote in my pocket.
« Whaa.. » you nearly jumped and spilled your coffee.
« We^ll have a very interesting lunch, Roger. Promised ! » I grinned.
« What the hell is that ? » you gasped.
„Electric shocks, dear. Thrilling, huh?“
„Ah..i dunno.“
„That was the lowest level. Let^s see how much you can stand. Finish the coffee and get dressed. The leather pants and the white shirt. No vest, please.“
Yet alone the walk to the nearest pub was all fun. For me, at least. One arm around your waist, the other hand in my pocket, playing with the remote.
„I hate you!“ you whispered against my neck after one full power shock.
„Naaah, you don^t. You should hide that delicious bulge in your pants, luv.We won^t effect a public mischief here. » I chuckled and pulled your jacket down a bit, so that it covered your erection,
« So not funny, Nick ! » you blurted and i had to laugh out loud.
« After you!“ I smiled when we had reached the pub and you went to a table in the very back of the room. Took you a while to take the jacket off.
I sat beside you, placing the remote on the table and we made our orders.
Whenever I made the slightest move you cringed.
„ Why so nervous, darling?“ I grinned and reached for your hand.
You remained silent and that blush was lovely. Let^s see if i can deepen it.
The lunch was served and the remote kept untouched until you wanted to take the first spoonful of your seafood chowder.
Smiling broadly at you, i took it and let my fork fall under the table „ Oooops“
I dived under the table, remote in hand, and pushed the button while i pressed my palm against your crotch. You were still rock hard. Or again. Who knows?
„Where is it…where is it“ i muttered, rubbing against that wonderful bulge, and pushed the button again, higher level this time.
When i came up again I kindly asked you: „ Roger, would you get me a new fork, please?“
„I can’t“ you said quietly.
« Oh ? Why not ? »
« You know quite well why not ! » you whispered . « Please, Nick,don^t make me do that ! »
« Make you do what ? »
« Nick ! Please… »
And there was this fight again, written all over your face. The will to please me against the knowledge that your hard –on was very visible. Shame against sub-mode.
„Give me yours, you won^t need it anyway“ Of course I would not let you walk around in a crowded pub with an obvious erection, of course not! „Relax, dear. Eat before it^s all cold.. you^ll need it. You^ll definitely need it“ I passed the remote over to you so that you knew I won^t use it any more while you^re eating.
You would have done it, though. If I had really wanted it, you^d have done it. You^d gone for a fork, all the way to the counter, passing all those people. Otherwise you would simply had said no. But you said * please don^t make me do that* What means you^d done it. Sometimes knowledge is better than the real action.
If i wanted, i could, What a very pleasant thought!
« I love you. » I smiled.
« Your ways to show me that are really …creative, you know. » you sighed and leaned your head against my shoulder.
« Oh, you don^t know the half of it yet » I assured and kissed you.

We went to bed after that lunch, you still plugged.
It was good to lay down, but I couldn^t sleep.Getting up to one elbow, i watched you.It was one of those unreal moments where I wondered if this all could really be true.
My life had changed so much, in so many ways.
All because of you.
My fingers trailed down your spine and i smiled when i reached your fantastic ass cheeks and saw that black round bottom of the plug between them.
I had to think of Yassie and what she said about being touched and aroused.
Yassie, Simon.Sonya.Carlos.
Never ever had i thought that I^d share the one I love and that I^d enjoy it so very much.
Never ever had i thought that a life like this would even be possible. Beeing a famous, married gay man. Being a pop star, a husband, a lover, a dom.
All because of you.
Oh my, this pink-jellybean-mode was all the way annoying !
I left the bed carefully and made a few arrangements in the living room.
That stable table brought more memories and i smiled broadly to myself as I prepared it for what I^d planned.
Pleased with the result I brewed me some coffee and smoked a cigarette.
Should I wake you up with a mug of fresh coffee? Nah. Strict roles.Proper doms don^t serve coffee. Pink jellybeans do..
I went back to the bedroom. Watching you yet again from the doorway, I switched on the remote. Full force. From zero to hundred in a split second.
« What the fuck ! » you yelled, totally blindsided.
« I think you have slept long enough now » i grinned devilishly.
« Uh…what ? » so sleepy, hair in a mess, rubbing your eyes…my, were you cute !
Beware of pink jellybeans, Nick !
„Out of the bed, Roger!“ I commanded, pushing the button again.
« Ah. Fu…I^m coming. It^s ok, I^m coming` » you murmured.
« Oh really ?Are you ? So soon ? » Another shock, aaaaand another one.
Teehee, this thing was fun.
„God. Uh. Please, Nick! Give me a minute. I^m…jeeez… » you stuttered
« You^ll have more than a minute. Come on ! »I was beside the bed in no time and pulled you up.
„Go for the bathroom, dear, you won^t be able to do that for the next few hours.Pull out the plug and put the cuffs on. Take your time.Living room when you are ready.“ Your lips parted when I kissed you, soft and willing.
Words can^t tell how much I love you, how much i adore you when you are in that state, when you are mine completely.
Faster than i thought you appeared in the living room and overlooked the situation at a glance.
„The table?“ you asked quietly.
« Yes please. Stand at this end, bend over, strech out your arms“
I fixed your ankles at one table leg each and your wrists at the remaining two with the help of a few chains and the carabiners. Your upper body lay on the table, where I had placed a few pillows so that it^d be comfortable. You^d have to stay like this for quite a while.
Your legs nicely spread apart, those amazing arms stretched…oh yes.That^s how i wanted you. Perfect.
Let the games begin.
First, a little Q and A.
I sat at the other end of the famous stable table, crossed my arms and leaned back.
« is that convenient for you, my dear ? »
« It is, thank you »
« Good.Did you like to get electric shocks ? »
« felt strange. And…i was panicking a bit. I have one hell of respect for electricity. »
« It^s battery operated, it won^t do you any harm. But the question was, Roger, did you like it?“
« Somehow I did., yes. » you sighed and yet again you tried to hide from my gaze by closing your eyes.
« Would you please look at me when i^m talking to you ?Thanks. You would have done it, Roger, hm ? You would have crossed the whole room with all those people with a plug in your ass and a massive hard on to get me a fork, right ? »
« Yes » you said quietly and your ears turned deep red.
« Why, Roger ? Why would you have done that ? »
« Because I want to please you » you whispered .
Pink jellybean alarm.
I swallowed down the lump in my throat before I got up, went to one side of the table and cupped your blushed cheeks with my palms.
« You please me, Roger.Every day, every hour, every minute since i know you, you are pleasing me.More than that. You make me happy. Utterly, completely happy. And now listen, my love : I would never, never ever, expose you in front of other people, if those people aren^t part of our little circle or if they aren^t guests at the velvet or Madame Claire^s or whatever SM-club we^d possibly visit in future. Neither would I expose you nor would I use clueless persons to fullfill my needs.I want you to know that, ok ? Subtile games in public have to remain subtile. »
« Thanks for telling me. » your little smile almost killed me and I had to kiss you before i sat down again.
« Now we are alone, huh ? No people. » I winked.
« You and me. Nothing else » you quoted my words, the ones i had thought out loud.
« And you know what we are going to do now, you and me alone, hm ? » i reached under my chair where i had placed the paddle and lay it on the table, right in front of you, spikes up.
« This will stay here until you^ll ask for it. I don^t know what it will do to you, so for now, I will only hit once with it. And I will hit hard, It will mark the end of our little intermezzo here today. Do you get me, Roger? I will do what I wanted to do yesterday, I will hurt you, i will make you beg for mercy. And when you do, I^ll use the paddle, Once.*
« I got you, sir. I got you »
Jesus, i got a *sir*. That didn^t happen very often.
You didn^t know that there’d be another premiere today. Since you were obviously up for heavy pain, I had chosen the steel crop, Something I^m at least a bit more familiar with than with the paddle, Been a while, though , and I never had used it on you.
I dived under the chair again to take it and your eyes widened.
*I think that will do. Pain and probably some blood, too. This is one of the very few instruments I have used with others, I want you to know that.Is it a problem?“
« No, sir »
My, what was it about the sir ?
I stood up, grabbed your hair again and kissed you ever so passionately before i pushed two fingers into your wonderful mouth.
„You really like to suck, don^t you? Even fingers. Hmmm, feels good. Feels really good!“
I don^t know why, having you sucking at my fingers is indeed incredibly erotic.
Ah, but there were other things to do, right ?
I didn^t want to make you bleed with the first strike and those steel crops are pretty hard to handle if you don^t know how one reacts to it.
So I had to warm you up a bit, and I stood behind you and yet again i let my fingers glide into you. You were still ready and open from the plug, there was not a bit of resistance.Finding your sweet spot, I squeezed it gently and was rewarded with those soft moans which got louder as I started to spank you with the other hand. Always such a pleasure,spanking you. Skin on skin. The sound, to feel how you became warmer and warmer under my palm, to see how that fantastic ass reddened until your skin was all hot and pink. I then stepped back, having you whining with the loss of the sensation.
„Please, Nick…sir…don^t stop that. Please don^t,,,aaaaah“
Without warning I had whipped the crop across those hot red cheeks and you tensed up against the unexspected sharp pain. This thing is way more intense than a cane and very different from the biting of a whip, so it was something completely new for you and you needed some time to breathe away the pain.
„More?“ I asked.
„Yes, Uh, yes , please, sir, please“
Holy cow, that sir-thing was such a turn on ! Because i knew you^re not playing some role here, you were feeling it. I felt so mighty, so powerful. Revered, even.
„As you wish, my Roger!“Never before had I felt such a rush, had i given myself so completely over to it, to the feeling of being almighty, and I pushed you far over the edge. You cried and screamed and still you were begging for more. Your body covered in sweat, so beautifully longing for the pain, so completely mine, all mine.
Yes, you were bleeding, and it was more than just a single drop this time. Right here and now it didn^t matter. It was what you wanted, even if you were too spaced out to notice.
I only stopped as you became dangerously quiet and i thought you^d passed out. But when I went to the other end of the table and pulled your head up. Your eyes opened wide and never ever had I seen that expression before . Those wonderful dark, fogged eyes filled with tears, your skin all wet from crying and of saliva and an almost unhearable „Mercy, sir“ escaped from those soft silky lips. Oh my god. Oh my fucking god! I felt a small hint of guilt when I picked up the paddle. How could it be such a turn on, to see the one I love suffering?
But then, how could it be such a turn on to suffer?
It turned me on because it turned you on. Or the other way around ? I didn^t care, it didn^t matter, not here and now. You and me, nothing else.
As the spiked paddle finally landed on your tortured skin, hard, like i had promised , we both literally exploded .
I was so taken aback , so completely overwhelmed, that I almost couldn^t free you from the cuffs.It wasn^t easy with shaky hands and knees all jelly.
We ended on the floor, holding each other and my, were we crying. We howled our heads off, to be exact
Strict dom role, my ass! it was more like you holding me as me holding you, even when the well known shaking and teeth chattering started.
What the hell was that?
I should go for some water. For a blanket, for antiseptics, because , goodness, were you bleeding. I should take care of you, for fuck^s sake! But i was shaking like a leaf, crying like a baby and i simply couldn^t move. I felt like I^d be never ever able to move again.
„Uh.I…uh“ your hand came up to touch my cheek ever so gently and that nearly killed me.
I kissed your trembling lips and it was like we would breathe each other, like we would melt into one .A sweaty, sticky , bloody one.
It was to die for.
After what seemed to be an eternity, we finally parted and I somehow managed to get on my feet.
„I^ll..I…Roger, don^t move, i^ll be back in a minute » I said softly, still not able to find words, still weak in the knees.
„ I^m here. Won^t go anywhere.“ You whispered.
I went into the kitchen for a bottle of water, then back to you as fast as I could.Helping you to sit up, i pulled you against my shoulder and you emptied that bottle at once, spilling quite a lot of water as you were still trembling. I had a blanked and antiseptics ready at the sofa, but yet again i couldn^t move when you turned to me and tried a little smile, saying « Thank you. Thank you so much ! »
I knew it wasn^t for the water, that thank you.
„ I have to thank YOU, my love! God, yes, thank you! You are fantastic.I love you. Words can^t tell how much i love you, Roger` » I covered that loveley face of your^s with kisses, tasting your salty tears and then my lips found your^s again. This soft, sweet tenderness was such a contrast to what happened before that it made me laugh.
It^s part of our *chemistry*, Roger, isn^t it ? That we can share all those things and it just feels right. If i make you bleed or if it^s all vanilla lovemaking, if it^s brain fucking D/s or the teenage snoggling championship.
„i can come from your pain, Roger.“ i said quietly. « How amazing is that ? When that paddle has met your skin, I simply exploded.“
« Really ? » you smiled and i took your hand , guided it inside my pants and let you feel the stickiness.
« Really » I winked.
« Oh… » you sighed. And then you opened my zipper and licked me clean , like always, what made me hard again, which I never had thought would be possible.
„Roger…stop that! Holy…aaah, stop that`“ I moaned. But you didn^t.
„Whaaa…oh …what?“ I gasped when your wet hot tongue flickered over my entrance and the tip dived in.
No one ever did that to me.
Your strong hands parted my cheeks and…oh my fucking god! I came the moment you let your thumb glide in and rubbed over my sweet spot.
„What…was …that?“ panting all over, i pulled you close.
„ Returning the favor, i guess“ you grinned and for some reason we both had to giggle like mad.
„Hot tub?“ I suggested once i was able to speak again.
« Fab ! I^ll get champagne and cigarettes » you beamed but almost stumbled when you tried to get up. « Ah. Jelly knees »
« Tell me about . Stay seated,, I^ll take care of that and run the bath for us. Will bring some wash cloths. You are quite bloody, luv »
„I know. Thought it was just sweat first, though.I only realised when it was over.God, Nick! Still flying here! It felt like you did, too. Fly.“
„Hell, yes, I let go completely. A bit scary, since I should be in control, at least of myself. Geez, I almost couldn^t uncuff you. » The thought of that frightened me to no end and you saw the concern in my eyes as you said. « But you could. I^m fine. All ok, Nick ! No worries ! I actually think that it^s wonderful…that you can let go like this. That you came into your pants. To be honest…er…I^m a bit proud of it »
« Oh well, my Roger, that^s what you are doing to me.You…you were so overwhelmingly beautiful, i still have no words ! » We kissed again before I finally went into the bathroom to fill the tub and into the kitchen to get champagne and glasses, then back to the living room for cigarettes and ashtray and when everything was in it^s place, I pulled you up from the floor and we stood there for a few minutes, holding each other. I washed the blood away before you climbed into the tub and you winced from pain when the hot water made skin contact.
« Ack, feels like I sat on a cactus » you laughed as you slowly settled down.
« Can you sit ? Should we go to bed instead ? » I asked.
„No, it’s ok, now that i^m all in.“ You assured. „ Come join me, precious, i need to have you near` »
I poured us the champagne and sat behind you, lighting a cigarette to share it with you.
For a while we were all silent, enjoying the warmth. sipping the pearly liquid and blowing smoke into the air.
When I had stubbed out the cigg, I flung my arms around you and whispered :
« How do you feel, my Roger ? »
„Dizzy. Happy.Weak, and happy, did I mention that?“ you sighed. „Uh, Nick!“
Your sweaty hair tickled my nose as you leaned your head against my shoulder and I kissed your earlobe.
„3 hours“ I said.
„ For three hours you have been fixed to that table, you bloody machine!“
„Wow! I totally lost track of time! That long ? »
« That long, you greedy thing you ! » I chuckled.
« Oh well, you did all the work, so who^s the bloody machine here? Ah, me is bloody, you are the machine, uh?“

My god, Roger. Sitting with you there in the tub, exhausted and all satisfied, my arms around you and those images of the last few hours in my head, from your outstreched body to your red hot ass, from four moans and screams to your tongue in me…so much! It was so much! Sex and pain and blood and laughters. So much!
„I love you. So much“ I whispered.

Chapter Text

When I woke up it was still dark in the bedroom, dark and quiet. Way too quiet, as I couldn^t hear your familiar snoring beside me.We had gone to bed right after we left the tub, without dinner. As soon as we had spooned together under the blankets, we fell asleep.
The clock on the nightstand informed me that it was 3:10 at night.
I found you in the living room, where you stood by the window, smoking a cigarette.
Your naked body looked silvery in the moonlight shining in and the swollen marks all over your ass seemed to glow. When you turned to me an utterly beautiful smile appeared in your face. « I can^t sleep, precious.What do you think of another pancake orgy ? »
My stomach growled in response and we had to laugh.
„Oh well, that^s a yes, i assume!“ you grinned and crossed the room to take me in your arms.
After a long, passionate kiss we went into the kitchen together and while I sat at the table, watching you, you prepared a mountain of pancakes.
Sitting in the kitchen, all naked, at half past three in the morning, eating pancakes and drinking champagne was definetly a new level of decadence, if you ask me. Well, i sat. For some reason you prefered to lean at the counter.
We slept half the day and there was no time left for any more action before we had to leave, but I so didn^t care. It was perfect the way it was.
JT called the other day and asked for a spontaneous jam session in the studio because he had some ideas and your stoic face when you placed a pillow on your stool before you sat down was priceless.
Simon grinned like a Chesire cat and chuckled « You have been in Wales, yeah ? »
« Yep. Table was stable » you winked .
„Belated premiere, huh?“ Ands laughed.
We did some great work that day.

Not much later we had another sexual experience of the * I would never have guessed that*-kind.
Tracey invited us to one of her legendary * girl^s nights* , which were mostly about getting drunk and watching gay porn, as Yassie had told us.
We picked her up and drove to the ( other) Taylors together .
Some of Tracey^s friends were quite irritated when we entered the packed living room.
Men? In here? Shocking!
It didn^t take long that they relaxed, though, once we had settled down on the sofa , me in your lab.
„Ooooh“ Trace beamed „ Roger brought his famous Lasagne. You have to try, my pretty pretties! Well, my dearest Nick and Roger, be prepared for lot^s of curious questions tonight, I have chosen an hardcore movie, since we have experts here ! »
She was a bit drunk already, so were the others, and everyone giggled like mad.
« Oh, brilliant ! » you sighed, not very comfortable with the idea.
I, in turn, was somehow excited. It just had crossed my mind that we never had watched a porn movie together and having all the ladies around would be fun.
Talking about fun…funny enough the movie took place in an SM-club. A skinny pale twink was fixed at a St. Andrews-cross, naked and blindfolded, facing the cross.
„Too skinny, if you ask me!“ a woman namend Maggie chuckled.
« Yeah » Yassie nodded. « let^s wait for the other half of that duo »
It was actually a trio and for such a tiny person that man could take a lot. It wasn^t very sexy, though, since the dialouges where crap and the twink squeeked like a piglet.
Not very pleasant for someone who was used to hear much better sounds…
„Jeez, have mercy with us and gag him!“ you blurted and we broke out in laughter.
„I^ll get you on that!“ I grinned and you gave me one of those bewildered looks.
« If i ever sound like this, Nick, call a doctor, please ! I^ll go for a smoke, anyone join me?“ just as you had left the room with Maggie and two others for the * smoker^s lounge* in the kitchen, the movie took quite an unexpected turn.
A woman appeared and was roughly fucked by one of the two guys, the other one freed the twink from the cross and once his mate had shot his load into her, they forced the sub between her legs to lick the cum out of her.
I heard someone gasping and imediately knew that it was Yasmin. Our eyes met and she turned all pink .
„That^s hot, if you ask me. Would be better with a different actor, though » she said quietly .
„I agree! But i can imagine that it’s not easy to find actors who would do that!“ I responded.
„Yeah. That^s…sad, really. Oh well…you can^t have it all, huh?“
„Never say never“ I winked and we grinned knowingly at each other.
When you came back in she stared at you just like her husband used to do and I asked Tracey to play that scene again.
„Interesting turn when you left“ I explained and your jaw dropped while watching.
„Uh, yeah, you can say so! Would be more interesting with a different actor, though.“you gulped.
„ That^s exactly what Yassie said“ Tracey laughed
„Really?“ your brows came up and you turned to the model, who seemed to have found something very interesting on the floor, as she didn^t dare to look at you.
„Hmhm. I don^t like that guy, simply not my type“ she muttered. „ The scene itself would be quite sexy with someone else, don^t you think?“
„Hm. Maybe. I don^t like them both. The guy and the woman, so..i don^t know. With another man and another woman, possibly maybe that could be sexy. Could be a bit frustrating for the woman, though, if you ask me, since gay men have no clue how to practice, er…that“
Wow. The air was burning between you two and i wondered if it could be noticed by the other ladies.
„Cunnilingus“ Maggie laughed. „ *That* is called Cunnilingus“
« Ah well, the word alone seems to be complicated ! » you chuckled and Yassie finally looked up. « Who on earth is calling that Cunnilingus ? Uh, Simon, darling, please, cunnilingus me ? He would die laughing, i bet ! »
« Yassie, darling , i^ll cunnilingus you after you gave me some good fellatio ! » Tracey giggled.
« But honestly » Maggie said « Blow job doesn^t sound any better ! I mean…it^s more a suck job, isn^t it ? »
The TV was switched off and the ladies talked about sex now.
You grinned at me „ How many hetero men would give their left arm to be here now?“
„they should be, they could learn a lot!“ Another woman…i think her name was Lisa…giggled.
„ Don^t you talk about your likes and dislikes with your husbands? Or boyfriends or whatever?“ you wondered.
« It^s not that easy, you know. When it comes to sex, every little suggestion could be taken as a critic and an offence. If you say, hon, you know, i would like to have it a little harder, or softer, or longer …whatever, you are questioning their * lover skills * » Maggie sighed.
« Simon^s not like that. We are talking a lot, actually. Doesn^t mean that our likes are always the same, though. Some things I like he doesn’t, some things he likes I don^t“ Yasmin explained. „ but that^s ok, I guess.“
« Like what? What would you like and Charlie doesn^t?“ Trace was all curious.
„Uhm“ the model blushed. „ For example…er…i would like to be fisted, but he^s afraid to hurt me.“
„What way?“ Maggie giggled.
„ What do you mean, what way?“Yas was all puzzled.
„Front door or back door?“ the woman winked.
„Jeeez! Front, definetly front!“ Mrs LeBon blurted and they all laughed like mad.
„Well, had it both ways“ Lisa said. „ and both were pretty good. Different, but good. The preparation for the backdoor experience was quite annoying, though, I almost collapsed after taking that stuff you need to clean yourself properly. And the taste was nauseating, uh. Had to smoke quite an amount of pot to be relaxed enough“
„HA!“ Tracey yelled and pointed at me „ gotcha! Pot, huh ? Aha ! »
«What…oh ! Only when deep relaxation is needed, i got it ! » Yas grinned. „Did it work?“
„Pretty fine, yes“ I smiled „ Thanks for your help, Tracey!“
„Is…“ Maggie started. „ Isn^t it…i dunno…brutal, somehow?“
„The most brutal part of it is drinking that stuff, like Lisa has said. Utterly disgusting, really!“ you shuddered from the thought of it alone.
„But it was all worth it, wasn^t it?“ Lisa winked .
„ Definitely!“ you nodded .
„Uh, thanks, but no, thanks. I can tolerate a finger while being fucked, that’s nice, but …no cocks, no fists, thank you! I^d prefer the front door. And my dear husband is too afraid to give it a try. » Yas sounded very frustrated.

You drove us home in the middle of the night.


Yassie was quite drunk and when we had reached her home and got out she slurred „Would you do me a favor? Puuuh-leeze ? »
« Depends on the favor, angel face demon ! » you chuckled.
« Think about that scene, yeah ? » and with that, she disappeared .
„Er..“ you turned to me. « what ? »
« The scene. With different actors. A different man and a different woman.“ I grinned and lay an arm around your waist as we started to make our way down the road.
« Oh. That. And I thought i got her wrong…she was really talking about me and her, huh?“
„ Wasn^t that obvious, Roger? I mean, you two and your little cum sharing fetish…that scene in a gay movie…I mean, I had to think about you two either!“ I pulled you closer and kissed your neck.
„Oh. That^s… hm. We haven^t even watched them yet. Yas and Si. I don^t know if I…“
« Hey. » I stopped and looked you straight in the eyes. „ We won^t force you, like they did in the movie, ok? As you said, we haven^t even seen them together. Let’s see what happens when we will. If we ever will, that is.“

Well, it happened sooner than we had thought.
Two days later, to be exact here.
You were out for a run and I tried to create a certain keyboard line for a new song when the doorbell rang at 9 in the morning.
It was Simon, and Simon looked somehow confused as he passed me without a word and went straight into the kitchen, where he plopped on a chair. « Women ! » he sighed.
« Good morning Charlie ! » I laughed.
« Huh ? Yeah, sorry, morning, Nick. Where^s Rog ? »
« Running. Coffee ? Seems like you could need some ! »
„ Vodka. I could need Vodka. Or Tequila. Or Carlos^s Special mix“ he blurted.
« What^s wrong ? » I poured him a coffee and sat opposite of him.
« Yasmin. Yasmin is mad at me. »
« Why so ? »
« Because i don^t want to fist her, because that scares me to no end , and now i^m a selfish egoist who can do all the things she doesn^t want with your husband and no one cares for her needs., that^s why. Am I, Nick ? A selfish egoist ? »
« You are not. » I assured. « but may i ask you why that scares you so much ? »
« She^s so fragile.I don^t want to hurt her. I^d die if i^ll hurt her!“ he said quietly and I was ever so touched.
„ Simon, your fragile wife gave birth to three kids, THAT hurts, i^d say!“ and i just had finished the sentence when the bell rang again,
„Your fragile wife, i assume!“ I chuckled and went to open the door yet again.
„Kitchen“ I just said as she stormed in.
Before I followed her I typed a text message for you * LeBon alarm. Will have an interesting conversation about fisting .Need your support. PLEASE!*
Angel face demon had never been more appopriate. Yasmin looked like some sort of avenger angel, fists on her hip, hair in a mess and smeared mascara.
„Don^t you ever run away from me, Simon John Charles, when i have to talk to you! » she yelled.
„You didn^t talk, Yasmin! You screamed and called me a fucking egoist! « the singer yelled back.
« Yeah ! Because that is what you are, Simon ! You are a fucking egoist ! »
« HEY ! » I slammed my fist on the table, what was actually quite painful. « Would you stop that ? Sit down, Yas. And then you two will talk. Goodness, you are acting like your daughters here, both of you!“
„ There is that one thing i have been dreaming of for ages, and my dear husband won^t give me that!“ the woman blurted.
„ One thing, Yas. One bloody thing! I love you, Yassie ! I love you and I don^t want to hurt you ! It^s not that i think, eeew, that^s disgusting…I^m afraid to hurt you!“ Simon tried to explain.
« You won^t hurt me. You won^t hurt me ! Ask Nick ! They have done that and not even that way it hurt! Right, Nick?“
« I don^t think that^s comparable, Yasmin ! « Charlie said.
« I think it is » it came from the doorway. My, was i glad to see you !
„ You know nothing about vaginas, huh ? » the singer snapped.
« That^s right, LeBon. I know nothing about vaginas. But i surely know about the desire to be completely filled, aye? It^s nothing about pain, Si. It^s …it^s…utterly overwhelming. The feeling may be a bit different, but if it doesn^t hurt anal, it won^t hurt vaginal. I don^t need to know something about vaginas to say so. And i never have said * vagina* that often before, duh !“
That made us all laugh and the model finally sat down.
„Sorry, darling…i didn^t want to yell at you!“ she reached for her husband^s hand.
„Running away wasn^t fair, either.“ Simon smiled.
„Aaaw! Those Bonbons! Aren^t they cute ? » you chuckled. « but even…how did Maggie call it…front door?...well, even that way you^ll need some preparation. I guess. Don^t move ! »
« What the hell is he up to ?“ Simon wondered as you left.
« No clue » I shrugged and was quite surprised when you were back in no time and dropped to your knees beside Simon. What… ?
« Hand » you commanded.
« Huh ? » Simon was as puzzled as I.
« Give me your hand, Simon. »
I nearly fell from the chair laughing as you hold up a nail file.
« No sharp edges, yeah ? » you winked and the singer stared down at you when you started to work on his fingernails.
You kneeling beside him, giving him a manicure was somehow a very intense image and i felt Yassies hand in mine and her fast pulse under my fingers.
We watched you in silence until you got up, pleased with the result.
„You can use a glove, but if I where you, i won^t « you said. « Hm…and I think you^d also need some lube. Do you have that?“
„Er..noooo“ Si , still confused, answered.
„ Lucky you, that you have such great gay friends, huh?“ you grinned and left the kitchen again.
„Er…“ Simon looked at me „ what was that?“
„That was the caring mind of Mister Taylor-Rhodes“ i chuckled and again you were back in no time,
„Here .“ you handed the singer a bottle of lube. „warm it in the microwave. Much better than when it^s icy cold, I tell you! And now relax and make your wife happy, LeBon! Shoo shoo!“
„Er…you mean…now?“ the tall man stuttered .“ I can^t…I^m still not sure about that!“
« You can do it here. We can be with you. If wanted, that is, of course“ I said, surprised by my own words. It had just crossed my mind and came out without thinking.
Now you both were puzzled, Charlie and you, and it was Yasmin who made the first move. She simply stood up and left, for sure she went directly into the bedroom.
I grinned to myself as I followed her, turning at the doorway to say: „ Whenever you^re ready“
I was right. Yassie was in the bedroom, sitting on the bed and she blushed slightly when I came in.
„Uh, Nicholas! That was indeed out of the blue!“ she giggled.
„Yeah, even for me, i have to admit!“ I smiled and took her hand. „ you seem to like the idea, though, hm?“
„Hell, yeah!“ she blurted.
It took you quite a while to join us, and when you finally did, a naked supermodel lay in our bed, all exposed and full of desire.
If Simon felt like I do when YOU lay in that bed naked and full of desire, this sight must have almost killed him.
You kicked off your shoes and took off your shirt before you climbed into bed and sat behind her, leaned at the head end and pulled her up so that her head rested at your chest. „Hmmm, that^s nice“ she purred when you flung your arms around her and she turned to kiss your neck. „You smell good, have I ever told you?“
„Oh, you too!“ you buried your nose in the curve of her neck and inhaled deeply.
„Simon, if you won^t move anytime soon, they will probably start without you!“ I laughed, trying to hide how much that picture turned me on.
With his amazing blue eyes fixed at Yassie^s, Charlie slowly undressed himself and hell , yeah, this man was really a pleasure to look at.
So was his wife, especially with those well known arms around her.
You both gasped when he dived between Yas^ legs and begun to lick her.
„Si-moooon“ she moaned and grabbed his hair with both hands, her head fell back against your shoulder and you winked at me, a wicked smile in your face, as your thumbs rubbed over her hard nipples.
Dear god! I^m gay, for fuck^s sake, why was that so utterly sexy?
For the first time I understood what Simon was talking about when he said that he isn^t into men, that it’s only you.
I surely wasn^t into women, but Yasmin…wow !
One of Yas^hands came up to reach for the back of your neck and she kissed you, moaning into your mouth. I nearly died, I tell you !
Simon was now penetrating her with two fingers, and i never had such a clear sight of the female anatomy. Let^s say it was very interesting, yet irritating.
He turned to me and whispered, almost unhearable. „Forgot the lube, would you bring it?“
I nodded and left quietly, having quite a deja vu when i warmed it in the microwave.
When I entered the room again it was just in time to watch Yassie^s first orgasm.Much to my surprise Simon didn^t slow down, au contraire, and his wife came again only seconds later.
My eyes met your’s and you raised your brows, letting out a loudless whistle.
« Now » Simon gasped and I handed him the warm liquid. Yas purred like a cat as he massaged it in, just like you did, and again we had to smile at each other.All four of us were staring and Simon^s hand now, as it slowly disappeared completely into a warm, shivering body.
„Gaaawd, Si. Oh my god!“ Yasmin whispered when he was all in.
„Is it that what you wanted, Yasmin, yeah?“ he growled . „ Do you like it? Tell me how much you like it,Mrs LeBon!“
„Uh..Uh…Uh..“ she panted, „Yes, Simon. Oh yes ! »
« Jesus…oh jesus » Charlie moaned and his eyes fell close. He didn^t move, his face was beaming.
I lay a hand on his sweaty back, well knowing what he felt right now.
„ This…is …aaah“ Yas whispered, her big brown eyes fixed at your^s.
„Yes.“ you said quietly. „Aaah, indeed, yes»
« I can feel your heart beating, luv. I can feel your blood rushing. This is fucking amazing ! » he whispered and I almost cried when our eyes met again and the memory rushed over me ,mirrored in the dephts of dark mahogany.


When Simon finally moved his hand inside her, something really strange happened.
She screamed heartbreakingly and then she squirted. I mean, literally. She made us all wet, Si and me. Soaking wet.
Simon pulled his hand out and entered her, fucking her with deep hard thrusts and he came with a breathless „ Yassss“ , collapsing onto her slippery body.
Good god! Holy cow! They were both shivering all over and held each other as if for dear life. When he slipped out finally, a small trickle of his cum followed and the singer raised his head, the large hand, which had been all into Yasmin, cupped your cheek and he whispered: „ Please, Roger. Once. Only once. Please!“
Yas and i both hold our breath as you took his hand…THAT hand…to suck gently at his fingers, wanting to find out what a woman tastes like. What Yasmin tastes like.
Your eyes darted into her^s and when you nodded wordlessly, Simon rose from the bed. Much to my surprise he flung his arms around me, pulled me close and for the first time ever we kissed deeply.
Took me a while to realise that he wanted to share Yasmin^s taste with us both, and utterly touched i reached for the back of his neck, letting my tongue explore unknown territory,
Only when we heard Yas moaning your name we parted, and that image in front of us made us gasp. Simon squeezed my hand so hard it hurt „ Oh my fucking god!“
You, with her legs wrapped around you,your tongue diving deep into her.Her hands waving in the air as she didn^t dare to grab your hair and still was searching for some hold, Oh well, your tongue surely explored a much more unknown territory than mine did before…
According to Yas^ breathless moans you were doing a pretty good job.
„That^s…uh…don^t stop it, please, don^t…ah…gaaawd…don^t…I^m…ROGER!“
She did it again. She showered you with her liquids of lust as she came and you had to come up for air.
„What…the ..hell!“ you panted and Yas broke out into hysterical laughter.
*Uh…sorry…I^m…sorry! Come here. Come here!“ she pulled you in her arms, still shivering all over, and tried to stop laughing but it didn^t work , and oddly enough all four of us collapsed with laughter now.
Simon and I crawled into bed to join you and we were holding each other, still not able to speak, almost howling.
„Sorry! Jeez, sorry!“ Yas gasped again. « I can^t…I can’t…control …that…sorry ! »
« Don^t be. Please don^t be sorry¨ » you chuckled and slowly we became quiet, looking at each other, trying to realise what just had happened.
« Wooooaaah. » Simon grinned and he let his hand run through your very wet hair.
„God ! Simon ! That was…thank you ! Thank you, my love!“ the model said quietly and the incredible LeBons got lost in one very intense kiss.
Good idea, i thought, pulling you close. You tasted much like Simon. Like Yasmin, rather. I turned when i felt soft lips on my cheek, the ones of the woman i had just tasted in your mouth. In her husband’s mouth, and finally, for the first time ever, i kissed her , not much later after i had kissed her man for the first time, while you kissed Charlie, or he kissed you, who cares…it turned into some sort of kissing orgy here, everyone shared lips and tongues with everyone, which was the most intimate thing we had ever done, as strange as it sounds after all those hardcore experiences we had shared before.
It felt like we kissed for hours, and , as we found out later, we literally did b
efore we ended in the bathroom, all naked, you sharing the cabin with Yas, me with Simon when you were ready, and the room was filled with steam and laughter.
We prepared lunch together and when we all sat at the table, we finally talked about what happened.
„See, there was no reason to be afraid, luv“ Yasmin beamed at her husband and kissed his hand.
„Yeah, darling, you were right, as always“ he winked. „ It^s just…I couldn^t imagine that …that I would fit into. I have large hands, huh ? And i have^nt even thought about the fact that my nails could hurt you…thank you so much, Roger, really¨ »
« Anytime ! » you smiled warmly at him
„Roger, dear..., sorry that I..“ Yasmin started and again you said : „Don^t be sorry, angel face!“
„Was it…did you like it?“she worried.
„Let^s say it was indeed interesting. I liked it, yeah, but honestly, Yassie, i liked it because you liked it, if you know what i mean. You …you taste good, by the way, very good. Spicy and sweet“
Now we sat there holding hands and smiling cheesily at each other.
„It was a pleasure to look at“ I said. « All of it. I didn^t know about that squirting-thing, though, but it was …wow. »
„Oh“ Yas chuckled „ I was freaking out when it happened the first time. About ten years ago that was, and Charlie thought I^d peed on him! It happens every once in a while and as i said, i have no control about it.“
« You know what, my beloved wife ? » Simon grinned „ now that i overcame my fear of fisting you, what about overthinking your fear of anal sex, huh?“
To our all surprise, she smiled broadly and replied ;“ You^re right, only fair!“
« Oh ? Really ? » he asked unbelievingly.
« Yes, luv. Under one condition: If i give it a try, you do, too ! » she smirked, leaned back and crossed her arms.
« Haaahaaahaaa, Simon, your face ! Priceless ! » you blurted.
« Er.. » the singer looked quite puzzled « You mean… »
« Yeah, i mean, Charlie. If you want to fuck me in the ass, you will be fucked first ! For years you are telling me that it^s nothing bad, and if it^s nothing bad, you can have it as well, huh?“
„Makes sense , if you ask me!“ I chuckled.
„ Yasmin…honestly…“ he stuttered „Oh please, Roger, stop that!“
You laughed so hard you cried, „Haaahaaahaaa,….use the monster strap-on, Yas, and let me watch!“
„No. No, Roger! I want him to be fucked with a real cock!“ she said, all serious.
„Oh.“ You gulped when you realized that she really meant it. „And who do you think should do that?“
„He!“ I nearly fell from the chair as she pointed at me.
« No way ! » Charlie blurted. « No way, Yasmin ! »
„If you say so. Not a problem, luv. If you don^t want to be fucked, I don’t want it either. Quite simple.Roger, are there some potatoes left ? God, i^m hungry ! »and she ate as if nothing had happened.
« It would have been nice to ask before you are making plans, Yas. » I argued.
« Says the man who likes to shoot out of the blue`“ she snorted and i had to chuckle at this. „ Good point! But still, Yasmin…“
„ But still what, Nick?“ she interupted. „ Is this so odd? My husband has fucked your^s. Why shouldn^t you fuck mine?“
„Because your^s obviously doesn^t want it! You can^t force him to do things he doesn^t want ! » I pointed out.
« As I said. No problem. He doesn^t have to ! »
« Hey ! » Simon yelled. « I^m sitting here, yeah ? Would you stop talking about what i want and what I don^t want, please ? »
What was all easy and wonderful a few minutes ago had turned into something quite uncomfortable.
„Please.“ You said quietly. „Please don^t ruin it. It has been so intense and exciting, don^t ruin it!“
We finished the meal in silence and the LeBons left shortly after the last bite.
„Oh my!“ you sighed when you had closed the door behind them. „ For once this wasn^t such a great ending, huh?“
„it was just a question of time, Roger, that something like this would happen. Yasmin^s strong personality and Simon^s temper… i^ve seen them fighting a lot during the years. No worries, they^ll work it out. They always do.“ I pulled you close and you leaned your head at my shoulder, sighing again. „Would you do it?“ you asked.
„ Would you fuck Simon?“
„Uh..I never thought about that. I don^t know.No, i don^t think i would..I don^t think i want that. »I buried my nose in the curve of your neck « all happy with fucking, you, handsome ! »
« As much as i like to hear that, precious…somehow Yassie is right, isn^t she ? Si fucked me. Only fair that you would fuck him »
« And if I simply don^t want that, Roger ? Simon is one of the two best friends I have, and having sex with him has never crossed my mind“
„Oh well, Nick, the way you kissed today was very sexy, you have to admit! You may had a problem to kiss John, but you definitly enjoyed to kiss Simon! » you chuckled.
„True. I liked it. I liked it a lot.But that doesn^t mean I^d like to fuck him. You kissed Yasmin, and you seemed to enjoy this, You even licked her. Do you want to fuck her, heh?“
„Er…nooo. But that is something completely different, huh? Yeah, i licked her…and to my own surprise i liked that, but it was mostly about Simon, Simon^s cum. I^m gay, i won^t fuck a woman. We^re talking about fucking a man here!“
„Would that turn you on? Watching me fucking Simon ? »
« Does it turn you on to watch Simon fucking me ? » you grinned, well knowing that it does.
« Good point ! » I giggled. « But still, Roger…I don^t think I want that ! »

Chapter Text

«I can live with that, really ! » you grinned „You know what? I need something utterly * normal * now. I thought about calling my brother and having dinner with them today. Would that be ok with you?“
„Sure. We haven’t seen them for quite a while!“
Steve was all happy that you called, They would have a couple for dinner that he didn’t like. Some very religious people, and the thought of provoking them with a gay brother and his husband amused him to no end.

„Uncle Roger!“ Jules beamed when she opened the door. „Hey , Nick! So glad that you are here,those people are utterly boooring!“
„Are we late?“ you laughed
„Naah, they came earlier,Way too early!“ she blurted and led us into the living room.
„Dad! Look who^s here!“
„Ah! „ Steve , who was fixing drinks,hugged you and whispered „ Man, I need your help!“ before he turned, smiling all over. „Grace, Paul, this is my brother Roger and his husband Nick“
Lizzie, his wife,came over to greet us and she rolled her eyes as she quietly said“ Do me a favor and freeze them out!“
„That bad?“ you chuckled, kissing her on the cheek.
„You have no idea“ she whispered and embraced me heartily.
The couple made no move to shake hands or something, and I had to think of Jonathan. Great. I thought the idea behind visiting your brother was to get some peace. Oh well, we are used to such people, aren^t we?

I lay an arm around you, kissing you shortly. „ Have a seat, handsome. I^ll help Steve with the drinks“
„How very kind of you, precious!“ you winked and kissed me back before you plopped down at the sofa opposite of the speachless two.
„So…Grace and Paul…nice meeting you! You are the new neighbours?“ you beamed.
„Er…yes. Well, nice meeting you, too. We didn^t know that Steve has a brother…er…Roger?“ at least Grace was smiling back at you.
„ Yeah, Roger. I^m the younger one of the fabulous Taylor-brothers.“
Jules crawled beside you and said „ Uncle Roger is the drummer of Duran Duran. Surely you have seen him before! Nick is the keybord player. Cool, huh?
„Oh, really? That^s…interesting.I^m not that much into music, though.“
Steve and i served the drinks and i asked the girl : „Julie, dear, may I sit beside my husband, yeah?“
„Of course!“ she grinned and made space for me.
„You two are…married?“ Paul finally proved that he’s able to speak.
„They are!“ Steve nodded „And my, that was a wedding!“
„Oh yep! Best wedding ever!“ your niece confirmed.
„Well, as far as I know there^s no such thing as a * gay wedding*, it^s called civil partnership, isn^t it?“ What a clever clogs, that Paul. Lovely!
„I don^t care what it^s called. » i said politely. « we had a wonderful wedding and we are married. »
„Who was wearing the bridal dress then?“ he chuckled .
Hahaha, how funny! I stifled a Saffron-like eyeroll.
„None of them would ever wear a dress » Steve snorted.
„Hey, i was only joking! No offence!“
Lizzie came in just at the right time to announce that dinner was ready and we followed her into the dining room, were you helped to serve the meal.
„Where^s Gem, by the way?“ you asked when we sat around the table.
„On a date!“ Lizzie chuckled. « His name is Ben. Is Amber still with Daniel?“
„Yes. they had their problems, but …“
„Elisabeth, you shouldn^t allow Gemma to have dates. Girls have to concentrate on school first.“ Grace said and you laughed out loud.
« Oh…sorry…I thought that was another one of your funny jokes ! »
I failed badly as I tried to keep my face straight .
„My dear Grace, what I am allowing my daughters is none of your business.“ Lizzie snapped.
« But aren^t you afraid that she will have…sex ? » the woman wondered.
„ I am not. She knows how to use condoms.“
« You taught her how to use condoms ? » Paul raised his brows.
« We made some sort of game out of it at one of the fabulous girl^s nights…you know, who could roll it down best. » Jules giggled.
« Did you ? Who won ? »Steve grinned broadly.
« He ! » she pointed at you and we broke out in laughter.
The couple was all bewildered.
„I can^t believe that you are laughing at that!“ Grace gasped. „ This is utterly disgusting!“
„ Teaching girls how they can protect themselves of unwantend pregnancies or diseases is disgusting?Interesting point of view ! » Lizzie was all the way annoyed.
„They shouldn^t have sex! If they don^t have sex, they don^t need protection ! » Paul almost yelled. « you are forcing them to have sex by showing them such things ! »
« We are forcing…Paul, please ! That is rediculous ! » Steve snorted.
« You think ? Do you know what they are learning in school these days ? So glad that we sent Amanda to a christian girl^s school ! » Paul got het up.
« Aren^t you afraid that this will turn her into a lesbian ? » Lizzie honeyed and again I couldn^t stifle a laugh.
« At least she won^t get pregnant then ! » you pointed out.
« Our daughter is absolutely normal! She knows that homosexuality is a sin! It^s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!“ Paul growled.
„Woah! First time I heard someone really saying this! I always thought this quote is a myth. » you chuckled.
« it^s against nature ! You are not married ! A marriage is between a man and a woman. It^s to start a family. You are skitting upon proper marriages with this …this perversion. »he spitted. « Not long ago and people like you would have been jailed ! »
« The good old times, huh ? » I grinned.
« The way you have sex is illegal ! » Grace snapped.
„Oh well, fortunately you have no clue about the way we have sex, but if you are talking about one certain practic, I have to tell you that it^s legal in the UK since 1967“ i kindly informed her.
It wasn^t that much of a surprise that they left right after dinner.
„Aaaaah“ Steve sighed when he had closed the door behind the two.„ Jeez, Lizzie, why did you invite them? Bigoted idiots! I bet Paul has an impressive porn collection under his bed!“
„Just wanted to be nice, Steve! Should have known it would be a desaster when she brought a bible as present, though. Sorry!“ his wife shrugged.

„It^s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve…I nearly died!“ you giggled.
„I really hope Amanda will come out as a lesbian. They deserve that ! »Jules rolled her eyes.
„Ah, no, that poor girl! They would certainly send her into some of those spooky camps where they * heal* teenagers from homosexuality or something…“ her dad grinned. “Now that those morons are gone…whisky anyone?“


It was around midnight when we were home again.
You chuckled as we slipped under the blankets.
„The whole place smells of Yasmin“
« Yeah, indeed. Hell, i really envy her orgasm skills » I laughed, pulling you close. « You know what, Roger ? Whe should go on a vacation.As much as i love them all,our families, the LeBons, Son and Carlos and all the others, I think we need a time off, something more than just a weekend in Wales. I can’t stand any more yelling Lebons, homophobic neighbours or whatever else.There^s no band business to do at the moment, so why don^t we just enter a plane and fly off ? »
« Ah, Nick, I really love your out of the blue –ideas ! Where ? Where will we go ? »
„I^ll get the labtop and we^ll find something!“ All of a sudden i was all excited. Despite those two trips to Antigua we haven^t had any vacations together, and the longest time we had ever been alone was this first week at the private island.
„Search for * gay friendly*“ you said when I was back.“ Not that i need any gay scene or something, only to cut the risk of another * Adam and Steve*-experience to a minimum.“
„Hm…Greece? Or Gran Canary?Thailand is also rated as gay friendly.“ I counted.
« Gran Canary. Hotel or appartement ? »
« Suite » I grinned and not much later everything was booked. Next week we^d lie at the pool in Playa del Ingles.


„Duh!“ you whispered as we stood at the Hotel reception to check in. „I didn^t know that *gay friendly* meant * gay only*“
We hadn^t seen a single hetero couple so far , the place was packed with gay cliches, so to speak.
A lot of nancies in gaudily colored shirts. Mostly pink. The hunky topless fitness freaks with mustachios, as if there was a Burt-Reynolds-lookalike contest or something.
« I hope you brought your sparkling rainbow glitter suit, « i chuckled.
The suite was fantastic. Large balcony, ocean view, kingsize bed with quite usable posts.
« Let^s hit the restaurant, i^m starving. The board said they have a seafood buffet « you suggested once we had a shower and changed clothes.
Ah, those short shorts, i love them !
„ Hey, Mister Taylor- Rhodes“ i grinned as you went to the door.“ May i tell you that you really have a very nice ass in those pants?“
„Thank you very much! I thought you^d prefer my ass without pants, though“
« Later. « i winked and had to give you a heartily bottom smack.
The restaurant was very crowded and I couldn^t spot a free table as someone shouted. « Come, sit with us »
« That`s nice, thank you » you smiled at the elderly couple. « Wow, it^s really packed, isn^t it?“
„Aye. Glad we are regular customers and they always have a table reserved for us. I^m Carl, this is my husband Conrad. Have a seat!“
„Pleased to meet you, i^m Nick, this is Roger.“
We ordered a round of Mojitos before you went to the buffet „ will bring something for you, precious“
„Where are you guys from?“ Conrad wanted to know.
„Brum, actually. I grew up in Hollywood, Roger in Castle Bromwich, but we are living in London now for quite a while. You are scots, aren^t you?“
„ Aye. Glencoe. Our whole life.We know each other since we were…what, Carl ? Ten ? »
« Yes, dear, and i don^t wanna miss a single day ! »
Awww ! how incredibly cute !
When you were back with the loaded plates Carl leaned over and whispered « Those lads at the next table are constantly staring at you. They went all pale as you came in. »
Four skinny twinks, each one reminding me of the guy in that porn movie. They looked like quadruplets and giggled like girls when they caught me glancing at them.
« it^s really them, i told you ! » one squieked.
« Oh goooood, i^m dying¨ » another one gasped.
„Fab!“ you sighed „Bloody gay Duranies“
« Dura-what ? » Conrad wondered.
« Roger and I, we are in a band. Duran Duran. Our fans are calling themselves Duranies.“ I explained.
« Ah ! So we^ve met someone famous and didn^t even know, what a pity` » Carl chuckled. « We^re playing in a band, too…just a hobby, though, some sort of jazz-rock-crossover. I^m the drummer, Con plays piano,“
„Ha!“ you blurted „ how cool is that? Me is the drummer and Nick is on keyboards!“
We sat together for hours, talking about this and that, and even if they never stopped staring and giggling, no bloody gay Duranie dared to approach.

„Wow“ you said when we were finally back in the suite. „ Eighty-fuckin-five! They are eighty-fuckin-five! I would never have guessed that. I thought, maybe 70…but wow, eighty-fuck..“
„You know“ I interupted, grinning broadly. „ Someone once told me he has to be spanked for his obsession with the f-word!“
„Listen, Nick,listen carefully: fuckfuckfuck!“
„Roger, Roger! You are really begging for it, aren^t you? So may i kindly ask you to take those amazing shorts off, lay on the bed and prepare yourself for eighty-fuckin-five strokes with my fuckin belt, yeah?“
My, you were bloody fuckin loud!


We met our new friends at breakfast again, and the twink-quadruplets also. Your shorts had to be a tad longer today, to hide some very nice colored tights.
Finally one of the Duranies came to our table and asked shyly : « I…sorry, i really don^t want to bother you…er..but…we would love to take a picture, if you don^t mind. »
« Oh, sure ! » you beamed, so in sunshine mode today that it made me smile.
We went to their table and Con took a few photos for the guys, who were all happy and promised to leave us alone now.
« Hey, we checked about your band last night¨“ Carl grinned, „ You guys are good! There^s more about some strange club and a big wedding showing than about your band when you go for a * Roger Nick Duran* search, though!. You guys seem to have a very interesting life, huh ? »
« Oh yeah, we have ! » you gave me a quite Lulah-like kiss on the nose.
« So…what are you up to today ? » Con asked.
„ I thought about renting a scooter and exploring the island. What do you think, Nick ? » you smiled and gawd, Roger, you were so incredibly cute that my heart jolted and I was all love-sick-idiot-mode.
« Sure, luv. Any advises where to go, lads ? You seem to know Gran Canary very well »
« Depends on your preferences, There are a lot of nude beaches, great scenery in the island^s interior, lots of clubs, bars and restaurants along the coast. » Carl counted. « Not much culture, though, as museums or something. We^ll have a pool day today. And if you^re interested, there^s a music bar down the road with open mic evenings, we^ll go jamming there tonight. Would be a pleasure if you^d join us.“

« Nude beaches, Mr. Rhodes-Taylor, did you hear that ? » you chuckled. « We could get an all over tan, huh ? »
« I thought you like my vampire-look, sweetie. And would you keep in mind that you already have a nice color ? » I smirked, giving you the Rodriguez-hair ruffle.
Conrad and Carl were quite amused.
Not much later we drove along the coast and i could have done that the whole day. Sitting behind you , my arms around your waist, sun and sea breeze..what a wonderful combination.
The sun became quite intense around midday, though, and we found a nice shadowy place to spread out our towels. I never would have guessed that i^d like that *typical tourist stuff* so much, but lying at the beach, reading a book after you^d rubbed my back with sunblocker yet again, your head in my lab…yeah, i think i could get used to this.
« Ice cream, precious ? » you suggested.
« Ah, yes please ! And some cold water would be nice ! »
„Really?“ your brows came up, a wicked smile crawled across your face and in no time you had me over your shoulder like some sort of bag and gunned for the ocean.
You dared. You really dared!
And if that wouldn^t have been enough, you laughed your ass off when i came up for air, hairdo ruined. Mascara smeared.
„You look like the sweetest panda bear ever!“you howled.
„ Panda bear, yeah? You^ll suffer for this, i swear! You^ll make the best baboon ever!“ I blurted.
„Ah? Well, now I finally know why they have called gay sex sodomy! Come, my little panda, i^ll rub you dry and get you an ice cream.“
Back at the hotel,you went for the gym when we were had a quick shower and I met the two scots at the pool.
„Hey you! Did you have a nice day? Where^s the drummer?“ Conrad smiled and made some space for me on his deckchair.
„Roger does his work out…yeah, great day, thank you.“
„ Going to get something from the bar…a cocktail, Nick?“ Carl asked and so we sipped the second Pina colada as you joined us.
„Hey, you gorgeous lads, still in for some jamming tonight?“ you beamed.
„You bet!“ Con grinned. „ Lets skip dinner, they have very good food at that bar. Give us a few, we have to get ready. Here in 30 minutes?“
„Cool, yeah. I^ll go get me a drink,then. I have to catch up here, i see!“you winked.
Con laughed out loud when he caught me staring at your ass as you went.
« Ah, young love ! After you, Carl ! »Giggling like teens the two left .
My, they were adorable!
„Hello my beloved panda bear¨“ you chuckled when you plopped down beside me.
« Hello my beloved baboon-to-be.“
Ah, gay friendly Hotels are fab. No one cares for snoggling championships at the pool.

Carl and Con were rockin it.
They seemed to have quite a fan base in that bar, and people freaked out as they entered the stage. Jerry Lee Lewis^ * great balls of fire* played four-handed on the piano was simply awesome.
„Eighty-fuckin-five!“ you muttered. „That^s outrageous! Fucking outrageous!
« Hey, it^s good to be here again ! » Carl beamed at the crowd when the song was over. „ We^ve met two very cool lads the other day, and the next song is for them. Not what we usually play, though, hope you^ll like it!“
It was *sunrise*, a very cool accoustic piano-percussion-version, and Con was indeed a great singer.
We felt so very honored, since they obviously hadn^t heard of Duran Duran before and must have learned lyrics and chords in no time.With eighty-fuckin-five!
We then had a dance to *save a prayer* and people came over to hug us, just like that. At any other place it would have been annoying, but here, in this old fashioned music bar with a 50 :50 crowd ( heteros and gays) it was somehow natural. It was *together. * It was for music and fun and party.
We got quite drunk that evening, night, rather, and my, those scots knew how to party.
„ I love them“ you slurred when we settled under the blankets. „ I love them and I wish we^ll be like them at that age. Eighty-fucking-five, my arse!“
Well, your arse was safe tonight. For once.

„Where^s Carl?“ you wondered when we met Con again for breakfast.
„One hell of a hangover!“ the pianoman chuckled.
« Those drummers. They are such party animals, aren^t they?“ I grinned.
„And this won^t change, i^ll tell ya! No complaints, though. Positive energy. By all means. » he winked. „We^ll probably stay at our balcony today, reading and such. Not that we^re too old for this shit, but the recovery takes longer…“he winked.
„Duh. I^m not that fit either, i admit. Balcony sounds good. Pool, maybe.Nothing more. » You leaned over to kiss me. « Is that ok with you, precious ? »
« Of course, luv. Balcony «
Privacy, you know ?
We made up with Con for dinner at a restaurant he had recommended before we left.
« C^mere, vampire man, sunscreen. » you smiled as you entered the balcony and I lay on a deckchair, sighing deep when your talented hands massaged the cream into the skin of my back. The simple pleasures of life.
I rolled over when you were done. „Go ahead“
„You can do it yourself, hm?“ you grinned.
« Oh yeah. I can. But I don^t want. »
« My pleasure, Mr Rhodes-Taylor »
And what a pleasure it was.You took your time to kiss every inch of my body before you spilled cream on every part your lips had touched, from my fingers down to my toes.I purred like a cat under your hands, your mouth, your tongue and your little laughs , those glances you gave me, teasing , provoking and utterly sexy.
« My turn » I smiled when you were finished and I stood up to make space for you.
« On your back, drummer ! » The notable bulge in your swim shorts made me grin broadly and as soon as you had lay down i started to lick your perfect nipples.
Despite the *baboon-plan * it was all soft and sweet, slow and gentle, even as I finally buried myself into your tight hot ass, my eyes fixed at your^s.
Sunscreen makes a pretty good lube,

I was well aware of the glances when we went down to the pool later, you wearing nothing but those swim shorts, not the very short ones, though, as you still had to cover some belt marks… and I realized that many of those people staring must have heard you, must have heard the sound of that belt and those pretty loud screams of your^s. That and the collar you were still wearing, the silver such a contrast to your slightly tanned skin, and for sure at least some of them knew it was you who made those noises at our first night here.For some reason that amused me to no end, and i hooked a finger in the ring of your collar, pulling you close for a kiss, enjoying that so many men were watching. They were still watching as you jumped into the pool and swum your labs. So was I. Water was your element, definitely. Bloody machine. MY bloody machine! Ha! My beloved sexy sweet and handsome machine.
„What^s that?“ you smiled when you finally came out of the water.
„What^s what?“ I wondered, pulling you close.
„That oh so sweet little smile.“ You whispered as you buried your nose in the curve of my neck.
„That^s the * I love you so much that it kills me*-smile“ I chuckled,inhaling the scent of sunscreen, pool water and you. There^s always a small hint of sex, did I mention that ?
„Hopefully it won^t kill you“ your tongue darted out to lick my salty skin.
« If you^ll keep that up, it will. And probably a few others, as we have quite an audience here, handsome. »
« You like audiences, don^t you ? » your hands slipped under my shirt, searching for my nipples, and i gasped. « Dear god, Roger ! Stop that ! »
« Why so ? » you grinned, rubbing your thumbs over them.
„Roger Andrew! You don^t want to be spanked by the pool, hm? Behave!“ You didn^t behave. You gave both of my nipples a quite painful squeeze.
What the hell was that about ?
I grabbed your hair and pulled your head back. „ Stop that!“ I hissed „What^s gotten into you?“
And then I saw it. I saw it in the depths of dark mahogany. Enough of sweet, cosy and soft. You were begging for consequences. For punishment.
„If you think that^s the way it works, you are so wrong, my dear!“ I said quietly. „Go get me a drink. I want to relax here. You can^t manipulate me, Roger. Go ! »
« As you wish » you sighed and I watched you going to the pool bar where you were encircled by the twink-quadruplets out of nowhere.
You turned to me with an ever so provokingly smile as you lay your arms around two of them and they both kissed your cheeks , having the other two taking pictures.
Never before had you acted like one of those renitent subs, renitence was nothing i would ever have linked you with.
Well, if you are not acting like yourself, i don^t have to act like me, either.Slowly I rose up, made my way to the bar, smiling politely at the twinks as I hooked a finger into that ring again and said quitely, but loud enough to be heard of the quadruplets
„ Go to the room. Wait for me.“
Without a word you left, having the four staring open-mouthed.
„Show is over. Rush off!“ I hissed, making my order as if nothing had happened and returned to the deckchair. The mojito tasted bitter and my mind was racing. Not you. So not you. What the hell?
I forced myself to drink slowly before i finally followed you.
You were kneeling in the middle of the room. Naked,hands folded behind your neck.
For the first time ever that didn^t work for me. As I said, you won’t manipulate me.
I stood in front of you, taking a few deep breaths to calm myself down and asked ; « Why did you do that, for fuck^s sake ? »
« I..I don^t.. »
« Dont say *I don^t know*, Roger, that^s bullshit and you know it ! I told you in Wales that i never would do anything in front of others.You were disrespectful, Roger. To me and to the twinks, as you used them to provoke me. You want a reaction, yeah? Congratulations, you will have a reaction. Probably not the one you were hoping for. Stay here, on your knees, until i^m back. I will have a talk with Conrad and Carl and do what i wanted to do: Relaxing at the pool with my book.Don^t dare to move ! »
And with that, i left and went to the room of the elderly couple, hoping that they^d hear me knocking.
They did, and Carl opened the door.
„Oh! Nicholas! What a surprise. Come in, come in…where^s the other half ?“he smiled and led me to the balcony.
„ Other half is in our room and needs to think things over“ I sighed.
„Ah, naaaw! Don^t say it’s raining in paradise!“ Conrad worried.
„No, it’s…well, i have to talk to you two. If this is somehow…odd, or disturbing, or whatever, just tell me, ok?“
„ Blimey, lad! You know how to make people all curious, aye?“ Carl laughed and once he had poured me some Sangria and we all sat down, I started to tell them about our relationship. About the D/s-part and why your shorts had to be a tad longer now.
They listened with obvious interest, never interupting me.
When i had explained what happened at the pool earlier, i said „ And here I come to the reason for telling you all this, gentlemen. I have promised him that i would never do something in front of others, others who are not involved or at least informed.I don^t want to bother people with that.But since we will go out for dinner together and my drummer boy obviously needs some consequences, let me know if that is ok with you.“ And I told them what i had in mind for tonight.
They looked both quite amused,
„Oh well..“ Con chuckled. „ That^s indeed something very interesting. We were wondering about his collar, though, and I^m pretty sure we^ve heard your…er…actions.We never have met a couple having a relationship like your^s before, not that i knew, at least. So, Carl, if you are in, i am.“
“ To be honest, I wanted to ask you two about that since we^ve read about that club and such, but …well, I didn^t dare.“ The other man smiled „ So, yeah, i^m all in“
„And is it possible at that restaurant without attracting too much attention? What do you think ? »I asked.
« Aye, we surely can manage that. Thanks for involving us, that^s really something thrilling, man ! » Conrad chuckled.
„Fab!“ I grinned „ see you at seven, then!“
I couldn^t concentrate on my book when i finally lay at the pool again, my mind wandered to our room, where you were still kneeling on the carpet. Not a single second I doubted that that you won^t move, that you did as i told you.The thought of that made me smile. The next Mojito tasted much better and i even winked at the quadruplets who were still sitting near the bar.To be honest, I was excited about the things to come. Very excited,

Chapter Text

„Oh thank god“ you whispered as I entered our suite. « Nick..Im sorry. That was childish..I .. ah, fuck, Nick, sorry! You are right, i wanted to provoke a reaction and I…oh, god, jeez, i have to pee, let me get up, yeah?“

I^m sorry to say that I had to laugh.Ack!
„Of course, luv, Go ahead!“
As if stung by an adder you jumped up…well, you tried. Your legs were a bit numb from the long kneeling and you almost fell.
„Duh. I^m probably too old for this.“ You mumbled and took my hand for support.
„Oh, hopefully not!“ I grinned as I guided you into the bathroom. „ Have a shower,luv, we^ll meet Carl and Conrad down at the reception in 45 minutes »
Leaving you alone, i looked for the sewing kit provided by the hotel, grinning broadly. I liked my plan, oh yes!
Before I went into the shower when you came out, I kissed you tenderly, ruffled your wet hair and whispered. „ You have provoked a reaction, my Roger, You^ll be quite surprised. »
You were still naked as I came into the bedroom. Sitting on the bed, you gave me an utterly puzzled look.
« What are you waiting for ? Get dressed ! We have to be down in ten minutes and you know i hate to be late.“ I said, hardly trying to stifle a grin.
„Er..ok.“ still glancing at me, you reached for the clothes beside you. Black, well fitted underpants. You must have about 100 of them, boxer style. A short Jeans and a tee, plain white. Chucks.
« I like that. » I smiled. „You are sexy in jeans and white tees. Now gimme your hands. Palms together, thumbs up“
I wrapped the sewing cotton around your thumbs, holding them tightly together. You won^t be able to use your hands now, even with the thin thread it was a very effective bondage that no one would notice if you ^d be a bit careful.
„Consequences, as you wanted, my dear. Now listen : As soon as we have left the suite, you won^t speak. Not a single word. I will order the dinner for you, i will feed you, I will talk for you. You acted like some defiant child and you will be treated like a defiant child. I talked to the lads earlier and they are ok with being part of this. We will take care that it won’t be seen by other guests. You have to do absolutely nothing.
This is for pinching my nipples, as you should really know that i^m so not into pain, and doing that in public was even worse. And it^s for using these poor little twinks. That was cheap, Roger. It was cheap and mean and you are the last person on earth i would have thought of as cheap and mean. If you want to be in sub-mode, luv, just say it. Talk to me. Don^t play childish games with me, yeah ? I love you, by the way, you are stunning » I pulled you into a deep kiss and was all pleased to notice that you were gone all the way into sub-mode. My little fighter won^t fight today.
« I^ll take a Manicure scissor with me.Let me know if your thumbs get numb or something, yeah ? Something you want to say before we’re leaving ? » I asked , locking my eyes with your’s.
« No, » you answered quietly and leaned your head against my shoulder. « I am sorry »
« I know you are. » After another kiss I covered your tied hands with one of your lumberjack shirts,as if you^d carry it with you in case it^d be a bit colder later.
„Ready?“ i winked and when you nodded, I lay an arm around your waist and we went into the hall.
Carl and Conrad were already there, standing at the reception , and they looked fabulous in partner look with linen suits and straw hats.Very gentlemen-like.
„Wow, handsome scottish lads, huh?“ I grinned.
„A bit of style never hurts“ Carl winked and he hooked into your arm. „Be warned, my dear Roger, i^ll take the oportunity to bend your ears the whole evening now that i know you won^t interupt me!“
And he did. He started right away as we had left the hotel and walked down the road.
Conrad and I were walking behind you, smiling broadly.
„What if he^d say something ?“ he asked me quietly.
„Oh, he won^t“ I assured „ He has a sore conscience about what happened and he^s all into what we call the sub-mode.“
„Fascinating. Really fascinating“ Con mumbled.

I was pleased to notice that the tables in the restaurant were sat up in small niches, There would be more privacy and it would be easier to protect you from unwanted glances.
You sat down in one corner, me opposite of you, Conrad beside me and Carl beside you. Perfect.
« I recommend the tapas plate. You^re vegetarian, Nick, right ? So we can order one with and one without meat, is that all right with you ? » Con suggested.
„Sure! Red wine with it? We can handle a bottle, huh?“
„ You bet. They have a very good house wine. » Carl agreed and as the waitress came, we made our order and i was well aware of the fact that we had totally ignored you.
Carl remembered his promise as he turned to you, grinning all over, and said: „Tama is shit , you know! Use Pearl! Much better.And you know what i don^t like about you young hip drummers? You are making too much of a show. What is it about all this stick twirling, huh? You are a musician, not some bloody juggler. Take advice from someone with more than 70 years of experience, lad! Use a Pearl kit, stop the twirling ! «
You shook your head and gave him a perfect Saffron-eye-roll.
« What ? Don^t *eye-roll* me, boy ! I could be your dad ! Your granddad, actually. A little respect won^t hurt, my dear ! Oh, there^s the wine ! Do you want to try it, Nick?“
Carl was obviously having a lot of fun, and it amused me to no end that he fitted in our little game just perfectly. Who would have guessed that?
The wine was pretty good and I leaned over to hold the glass on your lips.
I didn^t have to say something, the two watched the other guests carefully that no one would see our little actions here.
I wondered if they could handle a little more and I tried it out as the food came.
„You know“ I explained „ feeding him has always been a little fetish of mine. Do you think that^s somehow odd?“
„Ah, naw! Sensual, isn^t it?“ Conrad chuckled and he looked closely as i dipped my finger in something what looks like yoghurt and let you lick it off.
„Try this!“ he grinned, pointing at some sort of salami.
Your face turned all red when you took it from my fingers and you gulped visibly, making a funny noise.
„Ack! It’s very hot, VERY spicy…I should have mentioned that, huh?“ he laughed.
„Conrad, Conrad, that was mean!“ Carl chuckled and held a piece of bread at your lips.
Wow, they really liked it. How cool.
„Oh, he^s used to spicy stuff“ I took the next step and your eyes widened as you shook your head slightly.
„What, luv, you don^t like spicy stuff? I remember different. Ginger and Tabasco, for example. »
„You fed him Tabasco? THAT^s mean, I^d say! Uh!“ Con blurted.
„Er..hon…I don^t think we^re talking about feeding here, aye?“ Carl giggled.
„Wha…oh! Oh! Ouch! Really?“
„Really!“ I nodded.
„Cor blimey! Hot ass will have a different meaning now forever!“ he laughed out loud and we all joined in…well, Carl and I did.
The whole game turned out way better than i thought, the two scots got along very well with it, teasing you, helping me to cover you from unwanted voyeurs, and when the dessert came, Crema Catalana, I changed place with Carl and fed you again, letting you suck the creme off my fingers, and my other hand wandered into your pants. „ Now show our friends, Roger, show our friends that you can be all quiet, even if you^re coming hard“ Your eyes fell close and a small moan escaped from your lips, for a moment you tried to fight against me here, tried to escape from my fingers in your mouth and my hand around your cock, well aware of the fact that we were in a pretty packed restaurant. „ You just have to be quiet for once. As much as I love your screams of pleasure, luv. Let go for me, yeah ? God, you are so beautiful. So beautiful, my Roger. Let me see you coming. » I soothed. And you came, almost loudless, , but shuddering all over. The two did a great job yet again with blocking glances and Con handed me a serviette which he had wetted with some sparkling water before.You were still panting at my shoulder as i cutted the cotton around your thumbs, massaging them carefully . „Can you get up?“ I whispered.
„Aye, it^s ok…“ You had to go to the restrooms alone, it would have looked kinda strange if we would go together. Gays and restroom stalls and such…
„Nicholas…“ Con lay a hand on my arm. „Nicholas, I have to thank you! Never in my entire life…and it^s quite a long life…have I seen something so intimate and utterly erotic!“
„Me neither.“ Carl said quietly. « Thanks for sharing this with us two old blokes ! »
„Well, thanks for getting along with it so very well!“ I winked. „ Way better than I had thought, to be honest. I never had planned to make him come, but it felt right. You^re ok with that , yeah?“
„ Uh! What an odd question is that, Nicholas? I can only repeat: utterly erotic!“ Con laughed. We ordered some spanish brandy as the waitress came by and when she had brought the glasses, you came back to the table, still a little shaky.
« C^mere » I smiled, pulling you close.“ You^re ok?“
„Ah, yes, all fine here.“ You replied, your voice not that stable yet, as if you had to learn to use it again first. « Uh…Brandy ? That^s a brilliant idea, my pretty pretties. »
We clinged glasses and you emptied your’s in one gulp.
« Carl ! » you turned to your drummer mate. « Carl, Pearl is crap ! The cover of the bass drum is way too loose and the tomtoms are too small. And twirling sticks is to prevent my fingers from getting numb. And it^s not about disrespect, granddad, t^s simply the truth!“
« You know what, my very dear Roger? I liked you more when you had to keep your mouth shut!“ the scot blurted and we laughed like mad.
„Another round?“ Con suggested and we ordered a bottle of cava.
„Soooo… blokes are ok with Nick^s wicked plan ?“ you asked carefully, blushing slightly.
„Let me tell you what we have told Nicholas…thank you! That was very very intense and a pleasure to watch.“ Conrad assured.
„Oh yes, it was! We^ve never seen something like that before.“ Carl smiled warmly at you as he patted your arm „ No worries about us, Roger. Nick came to our room earlier and told us about all that…your special relationship. To be honest, we would never have linked you with ..well, sadomasochism. Not even as we read about that club and such when we did the research for your band. You guys are so tender, so affectionate with each other…“
„Oh, it wouldn^t work if we would not be.“ I chuckled, taking your hand to kiss it. „I simply love this man, with everything I am for everything he is“
„So do I, precious.“ You said quietly, reaching out a hand to touch my cheek with your fingertips,like you did at our first evening at your place and I could see it in your eyes that you were remembering that too
„Aaaw“ Con sighed. „Aren^t they cute?“
„According to what Nicholas said about ginger and tabasco, we^ve only seen a light version of what you usually do, huh?“Carl wondered.
„We^re in a restaurant“ I laughed. « And it was already more than I had in mind »
„Aye, sure. But…if you don^t mind me asking…there^s much more happening if you two are alone, yeah ? »
« Not necessarily. But sometimes…of course. » I said, not sure about how much they wanted to know.
« C^mon ! We want some details here ! » Con grinned. „ Whips? Canes? Nipple clamps?“
« Yes, yes aaaand yes » you winked and again I felt that you thought the same as I did…how many details should we tell, how much would they want to hear ?
« I have told them a few things this afternoon, Roger, as I had to know if they^d be in it for. No explicit details, though.“ I explained.
„Ah..aye, makes sense. Never use clueless people, huh ? » you obviously thought of the twinks and turned a bit pink.
« Exactly ! » I chuckled. « Never use clueless people and never ever pinch my nipples »
«So…you never switch or something ? It^s very strict who^s top and who^s bottom? I mean… even if it^s about sex only ? You know, active and passive ? » Carl wondered. « We do…it^s about 70 :30, i^d say. Heh, Con ? »
« Aye. Never counted, though. It just happened. We never discussed it or something. Carl used to be the more active one, but with getting older it^s more a question of who^s taking the little blue pill » the old man grinned.
They were so easy and open about the subject that there was not a hint of embarrassment.
„It^s 99.9:0,1 here“ I smiled, thinking of the desert island experience.
„I never took it as something Dom-sub-related, by the way. It^s just…personal liking, I^d say.“ you shrugged.
„Well, it^s all about personal liking, isn^t it? So, you have no intentions to find out about being the other part, Roger?“ Carl wanted to know.
„ Definetly no intentions in being the dom-part, being the active part every once in a while would be ok, but it^s nothing that bothers me.. I mean, it^s not that I would need it, or that I^d miss it or something.“
„But you have been the Dom-part before“ I remembered.
„Who?Me? Naaah. »
« Jared ? » I grinned.
« Ah. Jared…that wasn^t anything about dominance and submission, really not. He was just literally begging for a proper spanking. Percussion performance , so to speak.“ you winked. „ And it was only for a few minutes, nothing that can be called a session or something. »
« Are you doing that with others ? Your…games. Or whatever you call it?“ Conrad asked.
« Occasionally » I answered vaguely.
« Sex involved ? » the other drummer grinned.
„Occasionaly“ you repeated .
„Ah, brings back memories, huh, Conrad? The good old 70^s when there was no fear of AIDS!“ Carl chuckled.
„ Blimey! Edinburgh` 73, what a blast! Oh my. I couldn^t walk properly for almost 4 days. That was an orgy, yessir!“ Conrad laughed. „ Oh, and Angus. Let^s not forget about Angus!“
„Ha! Experimental phase, lads! We tried a menage a trois. Didn^t last very long, though.“ Carl explained „ But I don^t wanna miss it. What about you, what does *occasionally * mean ? C^mon ! Gimme some dirty details ! »
« Ocasionally means that there are two couples, very good friends, that we meet every once in a while. Hetero couples by the way » I explained.
« Oh ? This is …er…interesting ! » Conrad was obviously irritated. „ Are you bisexual?“
„No. It^s just…hm…you know, these women are really special and I love them..we love them, I guess…I mean, it^s not that i want to fuck one of them. But touching and kissing is fine, at least with Ya…with one of the two. It^s the combination. And they both like to watch men together.Just like many hetero men like to watch women together.“ You said.
„Aha. Aye. We had a neighbour once, a very classy lady, who asked us if we would let her watch. When we were younger and prettier that was“ Carl chuckled.
„And? Did you let her?“ I grinned.
„No. Pretty sure she observed us secretly, though.“ the older man winked.

When we finally slipped under the blankets that night, we were absolutely sure that we would have to visit the two in Scotland and that they would have to visit us.

Chapter Text

« NICK ! »
We were in the studio yet again and you just had checked your mobile during a break when you called me and I was all the way alarmed by your tone.
„Nick! Son is in hospital, baby is coming! Carlos texted me.Three hours ago…ack.I should have…“ The beep of an incoming message interupted you. „Oh“ you whispered and your eyes were filled with tears as you looked at me . „ it^s a girl! Mom and baby are fine. Son and Carlos are having a daughter…oh..that^s…I … oh..“ and you cried of happiness while I pulled you close and a smiling singer came over to join us in a hug.
A few hours later, when Carlos had texted again , we were on our way to the hospital
Loaded with boxes and ballons we entered the ward and nearly bumped into a beaming Carlos. „Ah! There you are! It^s room 7, I have to go get some coffee for Mistress Mom…I…I am a dad, folks! I am a dad!“ He flung your arms around you and couldn^t decide if he wanted to laugh or to cry. It turned out as a very touching mix of both. « Madre de dios…ella es tan hermosa…mi hija..mi princesa…ah, excuse me…I^m utterly overwhelmed..I …well…I see you in a few. Son is waiting for her caffeine. »
We had to laugh out loud as he rushed off.
« Oh my, he^s totally exhausted, isn^t he ? » you grinned, wiping the tears away. « Let^s go and see how mommy is »

« Hey ! » a very pale Sonya greeted us, smiling the most beautiful smile ever.
A tiny bundle lay on her stomach and all we could see was a bunch of fluffy black hair.
„Come here and meet Miss Rodriguez. Miss Nayeli Andrea Nicole Rodriguez. I^m sorry, Roger, there was no female version of your name, so we named her Andrea, for Andrew… »
Nicole. They named her Nicole. Andrea Nicole. After us!
„Oh, Son! Sonya!“ you sobbed, the ballons went off to the ceiling and the boxes fell to the floor as you were by her side in a split second. Me, I wasn^t even able to move, nearly blind with tears.
„ This is uncle Roger“ Sonya said quietly as she handed you the newborn. « Looks like uncle Nick needs some more time. »
Uncle Nick was completely taken aback, to be honest. Nayeli ANDREA NICOLE ????
I was still standing in the middle of the room when Carlos came in and now it was him who laughed as he saw me.
« Oh well, Nicholas, I knew we should have asked you first, but i never thought that being the godfather of yet another girl would be so shocking «
« I…Carlos ! Sonya… » Another load of ballons flew up, one last box hit the floor and a still laughing Carlos had to whisk the coffee to safety before I pulled him close.
«Oooh, she^s waking up » I heard you whispering and tiny fists came out of the bundle in your arms. « Nick ! Look at her. Goodness, she^s so adorable ! Of course she is ! A perfect mix of her parents. Aaaaw, she smiled at me! How cute. Hello there, little lady, welcome to this crazy wonderful world ! »
„With all it^s crazy wonderful people“ Sonya chuckled and finally I was beside you . The baby girl yawned heartily, her oh so tiny fingers closed around your thumb and she sucked at it greedily.
„Mylady is hungry, i^d say“ you laughed.


The little family left the hospital the next day and Sheila came over for a whole week to help the newly parents.
Knowing her beloved restaurant in good hands, the hands of the dreamteam called Rupert and Dom, Sonya had despite all doubts no problems to find into her new role and Carlos …Carlos was the most attentive dad, the most caring husband , the most happy man on the planet.
The hurricanes flew in from Puerto Rico,of course, and we had a fantastic BBQ in our garden together with all Rodriguez, Bates, Taylors, LeBons and Sheila.
I had invited two secret special guests and you nearly freaked out when I appeared in the backyard with Conrad and Carl in tow.
„Ladies and gentleman, welcome the coolest scottish lads you ever have met!“ you beamed as you hugged them heartily.
We had told friends and family about the two when we came back from Gran Canary and everyone greeted them like some old friends.

Simon in particular fell in love with them at first sight and Carlos was all happy to serve them his famous special drink.
The Rodriguez-clan left early, though, as Son needed some sleep and also was a bit frustrated about the fact that she still couldn^t drink any alcohol, something that the rest of us took very good care of, so to speak.
Long after midnight everyone was gone up to the scots and the LeBon-couple.
Con winked at Yasmin „Roger is right, you are indeed very special“
„How…oh my…“ you blushed „ is it that obvious? I haven^t mentioned any names, have I?“
„You haven^t , dear. You haven^t.“ Carl grinned. „but aye, it^s pretty obvious ! »
« What^s pretty obvious ? » a puzzled model asked and I told the Lebons about the restaurant scene and the talk we had afterwards.
Simon almost laughed his ass of. « What a sewing kit can do for you ! Priceless ! god, wish I^d seen that ! I can^t believe that you really didn^t say a word, Rog! You know, lads, he^s usually quite loud.“
« Aye, we know. We were in the same hotel, huh ? » Conrad chuckled. „it^s still a miracle to me that no one has ever called the police!“

We had a wonderful week with them, went to the HLTW, to our fav mexican restaurant and once down to the Thames with all the LeBons, London eye flight included.
« Wow » Saffron blurted. « Wow ! Eighty-fu…er—five ! Really? And for how long you are a couple?“
« Oh, for almost 70 years, young lady“ Conrad smiled.
« Oh wow ! Since you were 15 ? That^s…wow!“ the girl was utterly amazed. „I bet it was way harder back then to be gay than it^s now.“
„Uh, aye. Our families were not amused, i tell you. My dad nearly blugeoned us both to death after he caught us in bed together.From that day on Carl has been my family since we had been told that we are not longer our father^s sons. Different times, my dear, different times“
„ How can parents do such things to their own children? That^s…cruel! Oh my!“ Saffy almost cried and Con took her hand.
„Ah, that^s long time ago, dear, we^ve made our peace with them. They are all dead now, of course, and the best thing my father ever did was to bequeath me the house in Glencoe. You ladies have to visit us there, aye?“
„We surely will!“ Saff beamed.
She came with us when we had to drive the two to Euston station where they took the train back to Glencoe.
We hugged each other heartily at the platform and waved goodbye until the train was out of sight.
On the way to Putney Saffron was unusually quiet and the next day she threw us out of bed very early as she rang the bell like mad.
„Saffron Sahara, it`s not even seven! What^s gotten into you, heh?“ you asked,sleepy and puzzled, when you opened the door.
„Sorry! It^s important and I have to go to school in a few… I need your help, Otchee. I want to organize an equality run.“ She beamed.
„A what? Saff…“
„Oh puh-leeze, Roger! Am I talking in japanese here? An equality run! I had to think about Conrad and Carl the whole time and I did some internet research and you know what? There are still parents in the UK who throw their kids out because they are gay. Still no equal rights, still…“
„Oh, no shit, Saffy, really?“ you interupted her. „ Guess what? I know that!“
„That^s unfair! Now listen, here^s the plan: There will be a run, and people will participate as pairs…one straight, one gay. I will call it the friendship run and I wanna do it with you by my side. If you could tell all your friends about it, Darran and Michael and so on and if we could post it at the Duran-website and if…whaaa…“
You had interupted her once more, with a noisy wet kiss on her nose.
„I love you, Saffron LeBon. Even at seven in the morning . You are wonderful. Yeah, I will help you and I will run with you, key? Can I go back to bed now? Because I had to think about the two scots either and I couldn^t sleep properly and I^m really really tired and all I want is to huddle up to your precious godfather again, yeah?“
„My precious godfather is standing right behind you and grins like a chesire cat!“ she giggled, returned the wet kiss and rushed off.
„You know what, Nick?“ you said as you turned to me « I think those Lebons are hanging out way too much with us sissys…“

Simon was bursting with pride as we stood behind the barrier to watch the runners.
The reactions to Saff^s friendship run call were overwhelming. More than 700 participants, press, TV and an all over beaming Saffron who held a very touching speech together with the gay teacher she had mentioned when we had first met Darran.
„Look, there^s Samantha Fox!“ Amber yelled.
„Have you spotted Carlos and Michael yet?“ Sonya wondered. « Ah, there are Roger and Saff ! And there^s Sheila with her lesbian friend…ack, no, please, Nayeli! Not now! Just a few more minutes , sweetie, let me see the start!“
„Is that Steve over there? With Jared? And who^s the one with JT?“ Yassie wanted to know. The whole place was buzzing with excitement. It was fantastic.
Saffron and you became third best.

Chapter Text

And now, as I have to think of Conrad ,Carl and their carefree orgies in the 70^s, for something completely different again, my Roger. Dreams and wishes.Time leap backwards once more.
„Fuckfuckfuck“ you muttered as you looked out of the window . „ I wanna go back to Cran Canary! «
It was April 2007, we just came back from our vacation a week ago and ever since it was raining in torrents.
„I miss the LeBons!“ you sighed.
There were gone sailing again and we hadn^t seen them since that quite unpleasant ending of Yassie^s fisting-experience. They had left before we came back, their daughters staying at Yasmn^s parents, since they had to go to school.
„They could have asked us to look after the LeBonlings. Do you think they are mad at us or something?“
„ Why should they, Roger? It^s between them. And as I have told you, I saw them fighting a lot during the years.They will work it out, and I bet it^s one of the main reasons for that sailing trip. No possibility to run away when you are on that freaky boat, remember?“ I flung my arms around you from behind and kissed your neck.
„They should at least have talked to us. See, that^s what i was always worrying about…that the *benefits* will cause trouble one day! Maybe, as odd as it may sounds, we are simply too close for… that!“
« You sounded completely different when you have told the scots about them.luv. We will talk to them as soon as they are back,ok ? I^m sure there^s nothing to worry about. » Again i pulled you close and you turned your head to kiss me.
« Why does it always have to be so complicated when it comes to sex ? Sometimes i think that those things would be easier with strangers, like that orgy in Edinburgh the C^s have told us about. No names , no talking… »
« Is it that what you want, Roger ? I don^t think so.“ I laughed.
„Of course it¨s not what i want. But i still think it would be easier.“ You shrugged.
„Probably. Easier. And less intense, and much more dangerous. HIV, Hepatitis, Syphillis, Tripper…“ I counted.
„Aye, right.It^s not that we won^t have safer sex, though“
„Do you freally think that sharing cum is safe? That it^s safe to be showered with Yassie^s liquids?“ I grinned. „ We surely can^t do such things with strangers!“

„I said *we won^t have* , Nick“ you snorted and I was kinda surprised.
„ I don^t get it, Roger. Do you want to have an orgy with strangers?You said you said it^s not what you want. And i assure you that I definetly don^t want it!“

„Ack, no, I don^t…I…forget it, Nick, it^s just…well, i miss them and i^m afraid that it will never be like it used to be and…I don^t know…I just had to think about what Con and Carl said, about the times you didn^t have to worry about AIDS and how much easier it would be to live out some phantasies if …“
„What phantasies?“ I interupted. „Orgies?“
When you blushed deeply i knew there was something right about the Orgy-thing, but you said „ Nooo…not…it^s…ah, fuck, it^s just a phantasy, sort of a wet dream or something, it^s not…“
„Goodness. Roger Andrew! What is it?“
„ Nothing, Nick. It^s nothing. Nothing that could be lived out in reality. Something that works only in my head, because of HIV and all. Just forget it, ok? Must be the rain or that I really miss the LeBons or that I will turn 47 in a few…“
„Roger! Are you provoking me here or what? Tell me!“ I really lost my patience .
„ROGER!“ My god, this was rediculous. I could have grabbed your hair or slapped you or something, and you surely would have told me. But it shouldn^t be needed !
« Please, Nick, not now, aye ? Not now!“
We were interupted by the ringing phone and i swear you looked all the way relieved as you went for it.
It was your mum.
I took the book I was reading and settled on the sofa again. What the hell was it that^s in your head?
After you had hung up, you went into the kitchen to prepare dinner and i had to smile when the familar drum roll out of my mobile informed me of a text message from you.
*It^s not an orgy, it^s a gangbang.An utterly unsafe unrealistic gangbang with lot^s of cum and cocks and blow jobs and fucking involved.Something that works only in my head, as I have told you. Dinner is ready, by the way*

„How many?“ I asked out of the blue while we were eating.
„Huh? What?“
„ How many are a gang? »
« Nick… »
« Oh, yeah, i pretty much hope that I^m involved there, in your head“ I grinned and you had to laugh.
„ Of course you are!“
„ Thank goodness! How many more?“
„Ah, you know, it^s not that I have anyone particular in mind. It^s really just a dirty little phantasy, aye?“
„So it^s me and some faceless, nameless men, yeah? Still…how many?“
„I don^t know…it^s not about a clear vision , it^s more the thought of it. 3, 4, maybe. » you said and poured us some more wine.
« Aha. And what are they doing ?“
„ Oh, that depends on what my twisted mind ist offering me. As I said, it^s nothing like a technicolor movie or something. It^s about the feeling of…being used. Being forced.Being covered in and filled with cum.Could we please change the subject now, yeah? „
„ One last question…no wait, two questions: What^s my part and are you somehow fixed in your twisted mind?“
„You^re the leader, Nick. You^re the one forcing me to speak out things, you^re the one telling the others what they are allowed to do with me. And no, fixation is not necessarily involved.“

April, 25th
„ We should have gone to Wales“ you sighed. « I^m so not into the mood for a birthday party with so many pe…ah, Nick »
I had closed your mouth with mine.
„Stop whining, old man!“ I grinned.
„Taaa! Old man! What should I say, then?“ Simon laughed. „ Oh wait, Roger, what^s that? Grey hair? Wooohooo, Nick, look at that, Mister * my hair is always perfect* turns grey!“
„My, are you funny, Charles!“you smirked.
We had talked a lot with the Lebons since they were back from their trip and you were all glad that nothing had changed between us.
Simon and I could hardly hide our enourmous excitement that day since we knew…or at least hoped…what would happen later.
„He called“ Si whispered when you were gone to the bathroom. „ Everything is taken care of. Duh, I can^t believe that we^re really doing this!“
„ If it won^t work, I^ll end it, Charlie.If things will go wrong at any time, we^ll have to end it.“
„ Sure, we talked about that for hours, Nick. No worries. «
We hugged and smiled at each other. The private little wedding party I had planned back then didn^t work, let^s hope the private pre-birthday party would…
„Where^s Si?“ you wondered when you came back.
„ He has to drive the girls over to Yassie^s parents, we^ll see them at the party tomorrow“ I lied. „Hmmm, handsome, have i told you lately that you are gorgeous?“ My teeth found your earlobe and your oh so sweet yelp turned me on to no end.
„You know what, gorgeous? Go clean yourself up properly. I want to fuck you senseless before midnight“
As soon as you had rushed off,not without a deep, passionate, overwhelming kiss, I texted Simon.
*We^ll be there in about 40 minutes. Has he arrived yet?*
*Yes. this guy is really cool. If it won^t work, we^ll have a funny evening anyway. *
Would it work ? Was it really such a good idea ? Well,if it would, a lot of people would be very very happy at midnight.
And who says that dreams, as unrealistic they may seem, can’t come true.
My very own private dream just appeared naked in the doorway and was absolutely puzzled when I said: „ I have changed plans, get dressed, gorgeous“
„Where are we going?“ you asked quietly and still utterly puzzled as we walked down the road.
„ Checking if the Lebon^s have left their door open for us, luv“ I smiled wickedly.
„Oh.“ Would you had smiled so beautifully and blushed so lovely if you would have known that this wasn^t even close to the truth?
„See, it^s open!“ I pulled you close for yet another intense kiss when we had reached the Lebon-house.
Ok. Now we^d see if I^m a genius or an idiot, if I really knew you or if i got you completely wrong.
Would you let it out of your head or was it really something that has to be only in your twisted mind?
„Wait a second, my Roger“ I whispered and blindfolded you before we went in.
I had discussed with Charlie and Yas for hours how to start this, what was extremely difficult since you had to stay clueless and we had to talk on the phone in the middle of the night mostly.
God, don^t let that be the biggest mistake I ever have made, I thought as we entered the living room.
The man we had invited was an incredibly tall blonde, who sat on the sofa beside Yasmin.
Well, no strangers, but at least one you probably wouldn^t even recognize. And as a devoted bloody gay Duranie he would neither do you any harm nor disregard me or Simon.
He had been all eager to mail me his health certificate when he finally believed me that some secret wet dreams could come true today.
I gestured Simon to come over and he cupped your cheeks with his large hands « Hello there, my one and only man crush » I nearly laughed, as he just had made perfectly clear that touching the singer was not allowed.
« Hello there, Mister Blue eyes » you chuckled and the eyes of the man on the sofa widened as Charlie bent down to kiss you.
« I heard that you have some really dirty phantasies lately » he whispered in your ear,loud enough to be heard by the man. « Greedy little slut, huh ? Nick and I and my wonderful wife with her monster strap-on are not enough ? »
I removed the blindfold and you blinked. „What the…“
„ Shh!“ I hissed,letting my tongue gliding into your ear. „ We have invited a stranger for you. See, you have very much in common, the two of you. He is dreaming of something they thinks he`ll never have, you are dreaming of something you think you^ll never have. What if you two are wrong?“ and much quieter I added „ Cupcake when needed, Roger, ok?“
You squeezed my hand, your eyes found mine and when the corners of your mouth twitched slightly I knew you where all in.
I know, that wasn^t quite the scenario of your dream. But a gangbang with strangers would have been way too risky, not only because of all the diseases you as the passive part could catch, also because I needed to be sure that it won^t get out of control. A bunch of unknown horny gays…you^ll never know what would happen.

The search alone has been risky, though.
When you^d told me about this little phantasy, I couldn^t stop thinking of it. I was utterly turned on, to be honest.
So why not making a birthday present out of it ?
But where to find someone suitable ? And how ?
I didn^t want someone out of the SM-scene and it had to be someone who respects you and who would be able to keep a secret.
In the end it was Simon^s idea.
The whole * Gay Duranie Departement*-community freaked out as Charlie became a member and proved that it^s really him with a very funny video that they all loved.
Everyone`s fav band member was listed in the profiles, and we went through every profile of those who called you their fav.
„Stop!“ I yelled when the pic of the tall blonde came up.
„ I^m pretty sure I have seen him before. Must have been at the birthday party in this gay club.“
„ Can we go through his posts? Is there a …ah, see, all his postings are listed …“ Charlie muttered.
There was a picture of you, and he had commented with * how fucking gorgeous is he?*
Another one wrote * oh well, not bad, if he only would be taller, like Simon*
And RalphDDTaylor had answered * Aw, shut up! He surely has a few inches where they are more usable, huh?“
„ Simon“ I grinned.“Simon, I know who that is!“
Only two days later Simon and I drove over to Barnes and met Ralph in a small cosy Cafe.
There were only a few days left until your birthday, and we really hoped that he would fit into our little private circle.
I was utterly surprised by his masculine appearance, since the last time I saw him he has been in full drag.
He, in turn, was utterly puzzled and obviously very nervous as we came in.
When we finally told him what we had in mind, after we both had decided that we liked him and could trust him, he nearly fell off of his chair.
„ Ok, you are kidding me, right? This is some sort of a very very sick joke!“ he blurted.
„I swear, it isn^t! I know that it sounds odd…“ Simon started.
„Odd? This isn^t odd! This is completely unbelievable ! Come on, are there cameras or something? Is it for some stupid TV show and I will be humiliated in front of thousands of people?“
„Ralph“ I said quietly. „ Ralph! We are serious! We are telling you the truth here, why the hell should we make up such a story? We have to trust you more than you have to trust us, huh? I^m the one on dangerous ground here, not you ! Tell me, look into my eyes , tell me that you are not interested and we^ll leave. »
« Oh, by the way… » Simon pulled some sheets out of his bag and tossed them on the table « Latest test results of the four of us. Maybe that shows that we are serious as hell as much as it shows that we^re all fit and healthy. C^mon, Ralph! It^s Roger^s birthday, for fuck^s sake! And don^t say you^re not interested. Of course you are interested! I bet you have dreamt of our fucking gorgeous drummer more than once.“
He didn`t leave. We talked for almost two hours and mailed forth and back the next few days. Until today.
Here we go!
Simon turned to Ralph and Yassie. „Way too much clothing, don^t you think?“
We had planned to start right away. Out of the blue, so to speak.
„Definetely“ Ralph nodded.
„Well, come here and change that“ I commanded, taking the lead.
Even without high heels the man was taller than Simon and I heard you gasping as he stood in front of you . His large hands slowly unbottoned your shirt while his eyes were fixed at your face and you closed your eyes under the intense gaze.
Your head leaned heavily against my shoulder and I felt a shudder going through your body.
I knew that Ralph was the right choice as he lifted your chin and quietly asked:“ You really want this, Roger, yeah?“
„I don^t know yet“ you whispered back, honest as always „ but I want to give it a try“
« That^s a start » he smiled and I stepped back as he pushed the shirt off of your shoulders.
The tall blonde unbuckled your belt and carefully freed your almost full erection from all fabric, dropped to his knees to took your shoes and socks off and when you had stepped out of the pants, he slowly got up and stepped back to look at you.
I let my hands sliding down your sides and back up over your stomach and torso. You were way too tensed.We had to do something to relax you a bit here, to make you feel more comfortable.I looked over to Simon and he understood immediately.
Pulling you close he kissed you again and you leaned in for the familiar lips, the familiar touch.
Sex with strangers is highly overrated, if you ask me…
Ralph seemed to enjoy this very much, though. He stood there with his mouth open, murmuring *oh god. Oh my god.*

„They are fucking gorgeous together, aren^t they?“ I winked at him.
„Oh hell, yeah, they are!“
„You know, i have some sort of *difference in hights*-fetish and you are fitting in so well, let me watch you three. I will join the lady over there.“
I went to the sofa and plopped down beside a broadly smiling model. Ralph took my place behind you and Yas and I gasped as Si broke the kiss and pulled your head back, offering your mouth to the other man. Ralph gulped visibly and licked his lips, just like you do when you^re nervous, but then he cupped your face with both hands to kiss you almost brutal, and rubbed his body against your^s eagerly.
„Hey man, this feels way better when you^re naked, I tell you.“ Simon grinned as he stepped back and was out of his clothes in no time.
The tall blonde didn^t hesitate to undress himself and again he pressed his body against your^s. „Ah, Simon, you^re right“ he moaned. „ it feels fantastic! So fantastic! So..ah..god“
Oh well, rubbing himself against his naked pop star crush was obviously too much to bear for the poor man. He came with such a force that he`d dropped you off of your feet, if Simon would not have been there to hold you.
He surprised me to no end, Simon, as he took Ralph^s hands in his and kissed the man shortly on the cheek. „ It^s ok , mate, we just started, we have all the time in the world“

Yas and I thought about exactly the same as we both stood up and got the table out of the way without saying a world and we both had to chuckle quietly.
„Not enough space for all of us. Did you bring what I asked you for?“ the angel face demon smiled wickedly.
„Of course!“ I grinned back,
Not much later three naked men, Ralph, Charlie and me, to be exact, sat on a towel covered sofa and had you demonstrating one of your best talents.
I really couldn^t decide what^s better: Watching you or Ralph, who was beaming like a christmas tree, one of his hands in your hair, as you took turns at sucking and licking two cocks, eyes closed and fully concentrated on pleasing Charlie and me.
This was definetely a dream coming true, I^d say, at least for this utterly overwhelmed bloody gay Duranie, even if he hasn^t recovered yet.
He caught me looking at him and whispered: „ Thank you! Thank you so much!“
„Aah“ I sighed as your agile tongue licked my balls „my pleasure »
And then there was Yasmin, Yasmin with the fabulous helix massager in her hand and she smiled oh so sweetly at Ralph . „ I could need your help, dear!“

As I said, we had changed a lot of mails, of course I had asked about his likes and dislikes and there was one thing he seemed to be quite obsessed with.
The LeBons and I were all excited when we had read about that, since we realized that none of us actually ever saw or even did it before.
As she stood there and asked for help, we all knew what she had in mind.
All but you, of course.
« Oh » he gasped. « Oh ! »
If I had thought he was beaming like a christmas tree before, he was now shining like the sun itself. With an amazingly elegant move for such a tall man he slid down on the floor and you tensed visibly when his strong hands spread your cheeks.
„Hey“ I said softly, pulling your head up to look into your big brown eyes. „ Relax. He^s not going to fuck you, not yet, at least. Relax and enjoy, luv. »
« Wha….oooh!“ An incredibly beautiful smile appeared in your face, and you tilted your head back with pure blissfulness. At this very moment I wished I would have done that to you and I wondered why I never had…
Ralph was licking you, licking your tight entrance and you purred like a cat, eyes closed and that wonderful smile still remaining.
« Wow » Simon panted « Wow »
Your eyes flew open as his tongue dived in. « uh…goodnes…that^s…aaaah. »
Looks like you were not the only one with a very talented tongue here.
Yasmin seemed to have forgotten about the vib in her hand,as she simply stared at the scene in front of her.
Me, I had to bend down for a kiss,
„I wish i^d have a camera, Roger. If you only could see how gorgeous you are, my stunning darling » I whispered.
With your eyes fixed at mine and an almost unhearable sigh you came. That smile of your’s had never faded and as Ralph^s head came up with pure happiness written all over his face, I wished for a camera yet again.
So the first round of what we had planned as something rough and dirty turned out as all soft and sweet.
Who cares? We still had all time in the world.

„ That was utterly, utterly beautiful“ Yassie said quietly and reached out a hand for our guest while Simon and I pulled you up to sit between us.
„ Uh“ you grinned at Ralph „ Thank you very much. Don^t you ever tell me again not to take off my shirt in front of bloody gay Duranies, Nick!“
Ralph and I nearly died laughing.
„ So…you have recognized me?“ the man asked when he could breathe again.
„In an instant. You are looking quite different, though! What^s your name? Calling you Miss Rio seems not to be suitable somehow.“
« I^m Ralph. Ralph Taylor. » he chuckled.
« Oh really ? I thought that is kind of a fan- nickname or something“ Simon laughed.
„ Well, Ralph Taylor, I^m indeed very pleased to meet you!“ you giggled as the two of you hugged each other heartily.
So much about sex with strangers.
Simon went for some chairs and we made ourselves comfortable with the obligate champagne. Still everyone but Yasmin naked, as we probably all hoped for something more to happen.
„2000 pounds, by the way“ our new friend grinned. „Your shirt. We got 2000 pounds for it.“
„Holy fuck! Who on earth would pay 2000 pounds for an old shirt?“ you blurted
„Oh well, a devoted Duranie I^d say. Possibly a bloody gay one ! » he smiled.
« I will never ever understand this whole fan-thing. » you sighed . „ But least that shirt was good for something , huh?“
We were chatting about this and that, it was all easy and fun and i started to think that nothing sexual would happen any more when the talk took a very interesting turn.
„Ralph“ Simon asked „ what^s in the section of the Gay-duranie-site you need special access for?“

« Oh..that^…fanfiction. Pretty explicit stuff. Pure dirty gay porn, so to speak » he blushed slightly.
„About us?“ the singer grinned.
„Of course about you. It^s a fansite, huh?“
« Oh my ! » Si chuckled « we have to read it sometimes. I bet this would be fun. Are there stories about Andy ? God, he would die if he knew ! »
„Ah, not so many. He^s not the most loved one in the gay community“
„Who is the most loved then?“Charlie wanted to know, and I bet he was secretly hoping that it would be him.
„Hard to tell. Each of you has his hardcore fans. Most of the stories are about more than one member , though“
„ Yay! Band orgies!“ Simon laughed. „Well, skip Andy and JT, and it^s not so fictional at all, eh?“
„Obviously not.“ Ralph smirked and his blush deepend.
And then you almost killed us all when you asked. „ Are you writing such stuff? If you do, about whom?“
„Yes I do and about whom is a really stupid question, Roger!“ the man giggled and turned as red as a tomatoe.
« Is it ? i don^t know who^s your fav, so I^m just curious. »
« C^mon ! You are kidding me, right ? »Ralph laughed
« Why should I…oh. Is it me ? Seriously ? »
« Oh my, Roger ! Why do you think I came all over you as soon as I felt your fucking gorgeous body against mine, heh ? »
« Oh. »
« Yes, oh indeed ! It never happens in the stories i write, I tell you ! »
„And now we all would like to know what happens in the stories you write, man!“ Simon grinned devilishly and I knew that round two would be very interesting.
„^s something completely not realistic…“ the other RT mumbled.
„Something like * Simon and Nick met me at a cafe and just told me that they want me to join a gangbang?* « I suggested and he laughed ;
« Not even my dirty mind could have made up something like that ! »
Yas let her hand wander through your hair and snorted : „ Pfft! All Pie in the sky so far!“
The atmosphere changed in an instant and not only my own cock twisted slightly as we all surely noticed that.
I really had underestimated the * fan-factor*, but from now on I^d use it to my advantage.
„Roger“ I said „ Come here.“
I let you kneel in front of me, facing Ralph and Simon. Not only would I use the fan-factor, but also your sub space when I pulled your head back with one hand, the other finding a rock hard nipple to rub my thumb over it.
« Just imagine, Ralph, imagine the completely unrealistic case that the husband of your fav member would present his beloved to you, all naked and on his knees, and that he would allow you to do with him whatever you want. What would you do ? »
« Hmmmm…that^s very difficult to say.As a start I^d lick his luscious nipples, i think »
For the difference in heights it would be easier and more comfortable for both of you if you^d be standing, so I pulled you up by the hair, what made you whimper ever so sweetly.
Still clutching your hair tightly I stood behind you and wrapped my other hand around your half hard cock, strocking it slow and gentle., pulling your head against my shoulder.
« Do it ! » I heard Charlie whispering. „Come on! Do it.“
The tall man rose from his chair and bent down to your chest, blowing slightly against your hot skin. „Jeez“ he muttered. „Perfect. They are simply perfect“
His tongue darted out and you whimpered again as he tickled your nipple with the tip.
« That^s nice, hm, Roger ? » I locked my eyes with your^s as my hand released your cock and i pushed two fingers past your lips
„Ngaah“ you moaned with my fingers in your mouth and a talented tongue licking your nipple.
Ralph^s hands slit down your sides, making some nerves tingle. His large palms covered your wonderful ass cheeks and then he lifted you up as if you^d weight nothing. « No worries, gorgeous, I hold you. Wrap those sexy legs around me, yeah ? » he croaked hoarsely.
Dear god.That was incredibly hot
Your legs looped around his hips,your head still leaning heavily against my shoulder and my fingers in your mouth.
« Everything I want, Nick ? « The man gasped, his eyes meeting mine.
„Everything you want, Ralph“ I assured,
« We^ll have to get him lubed then » he smirked.
Hoping that Si won^t have another one of his jealousy-attacks, I turned to him, finding him holding hands with Yas, mouth open , his other hand wrapped firmly around his cock.
„Charlie!“Yassie elbowed him. „Lube.“
„Huh?“ he blinked as if waking from a dream „ ah, yeah, sure..“ Still looking at us the singer bent down to fetch a bottle from under the sofa, where he had hidden it earlier.
„May I?“ he asked , his voice dark with lust.
„Come over, Si“ I nodded as something had crossed my mind.“ Come over and take my place.“ Slowly I removed my fingers and you shuddered when I kissed you, all hungry and greedy. My tight grip of your hair must have been quite painfulby now and i knew that was exactly what you wanted. Being forced. Being used.
I broke the kiss when Simon was by my side and flipped the lid open, grinning broadly as he lubed his fingers. Wrapping one arm around your chest to hold you, Charlie let a finger circle around your entrance and i stepped back.
What a sight !
All three of you gasped as the fingers pushed inside and your head turned to me, your eyes catching mine, wide open and fogged with lust. You were completely helpless, held by those tall, strong men, no ground under you feet in more than one way.
Helpless and overwhelmingly beautiful in this state. For once being dominated was a thing of bodily strenght. , something I could never have given to you. Something only a nearly 2 meters- fan and an 1,90 -singer could do.
Your eyes fell close as Ralph lifted you a little higher and whispered : « I can^t wait » and Si pulled his fingers out, panting heavily in anticipation « All open and ready for you, dear. »
„Look at me. I want to see your eyes. Look at me while I^ll bury my cock into your tight ass » he gasped and chuckled quietly « Dear god, how often did i say that in my dreams ? »
When your eyes flashed open and a shaky breath escaped from slighly parted lips, he lowered you slowly, literally impaling you until he was all in and started to move you up and down.
« Holy fuck ! » Simon moaned, grabbing his cock to jerk it fiercely and I realized that I was doing the same , utterly horny and all wanton.
« Kiss me » Ralph gasped and you flung your arms around his neck, eagerly rocking your hips against his, your legs shaking of the muscle tension needed to keep them wrapped firmly around the man^s lower back, panting into his mouth. « Ah…ah …ah…ah »
« Holy fuck » Si repeated and he came with 3 fierce spurts , covering Ralph^s dried cum on your skin with his fresh semen and something about that pushed me over the edge without warning . At least I managed to get close to you before I came and my liquids joined Simon`s ,mixing nicely with your hot sweat, running down to Ralph^s hands holding your cheeks and flew around everywhere as the man couldn^t hold back any more and pounded into you like mad, screaming your name as he came.
Despite my dizziness I was well aware of the fact that you didn^t come yet and I turned to the stunned model who had watched all this « Next try, Yassie »
The angel face demon grinned broadly as the took the helix vib again . We three men pinned you to the floor, holding you so tight that you couldn’t move and Yasmin was all amazed that she could made you come three times in not even 15 minutes, Something that turned her husband on so very much that he was rock hard yet again at your third orgasm and finally it was a real gangbang, With lot^s of cocks and a helix, until you were nothing but a quivering, whimpering , cum covered mess.
„ Hey“ I smiled down at you, still panting from the last orgasm. „ Happy birthday, my fucking gorgeous handsome husband“

Chapter Text

Your birthday party at the HLTW the next evening couldn^t have been more different from this little private event.
Family only, so to speak, but my, it^s a big family, isn’t it?
Parents and siblings and of course the Lebons and the rest of the band with wives and kids, Son ( last time we saw the enormous womb which turned out to be a cute girl named Nayeli Andrea Nicole…) and Carlos, Rupert and Dom . Too bad the two scots weren’t able to attend as Con just had a hip surgery.
Michael and Jason, who was again the offical photographer, completed the guest list.
I had to smile as I watched you on the dancefloor , a heartily giggling Lulah in your arms, and Simon leaned over, winking at me « A man of many features, Roger. And I didn^t know the half of it when I first said that. »
„Sometimes I think that even I don^t know the half of it yet.“ I grinned.
„Do you think he^d be ok with our special guest ?“ Si wondered .
„Oh, he was very ok with our special guest last night, wasn’t he?“I said, shuddering by the vision of your cum drenched naked body. God, I^m really utterly perverted to be so turned on by such things.
„Pretty hard to imagine Ralph as a drag queen. I^m all excited ! You should have known that Rog would recognize him. I mean, you knew who he was when you saw his photo.“ he chuckled.
„Yeah, well, it, didn’t matter at all, huh?“ we smiled at each other, both still overwhelmed of last night^s happenings.
All LeBon-women had joined you now, dancing happily along, your laughters could be heard in the whole place and Charlie let out a noise somewhere between a laugh and a cry. „ God, Nick! Sometimes those contrasts are way too much to bear. In a good way. In a very good way.“
„Oh, I can relate to that. I can indeed relate to that!“

Not much later you came over to us, beaming all over.
„ This is probably the best birthday I ever had“ Pulling me close you kissed me tenderly „ Thank you. Come dance with me , precious.“
Everyone applauded when we hit the dancefloor and James Blunt started to sing about a beautiful stranger in the subway.
„ I love you, Nick. I love you so much!“ you whispered against my neck and I had to kiss you, My hands slit under your shirt, feeling the warm skin of your muscled back. We didn^t break the kiss until the song was over and then we just stood there, holding each other , green eyes locked at mahogany ones, pale skin against tanned , blonde and dark hair, the fingers of my slim, feminine hands intertwined with those of your strong, masculine ones. Contrasts. Ying and yang.
„Love sick idiots-alarm!“ Saffy yelled and we snapped back to here and now.
I chuckled when when the DJ played yet another very familiar song. Showtime!
Yas and Si told everyone to clear the dancefloor and the room vibrated as the rhythm section joined the keyboard intro of * Rio*.
A very very tall drag queen in a rainbow colored feathered dress appeared .
„Hi“ she breathed into the mic. „My name is Rio and I^m a bird of paradise. I^m so fuckin famous that the best band in the world has written a song about me.“
Ralph…Miss Rio, rather…was brilliant as a drag comedian and we all almost died laughing as *she* fired out one joke after another , rather ambigurous innuendos about Simon^s lyrics
„ Chicken curl?What the hell? If you have a feather-fetish, dear, try me! I^d curl for you at any time ! And what is it about the re-re-re-flex ? Did you use it and bruise it ? I mean…some battery operated portable toys broke and gave you electric shocks instead of good vibrations ? Too bad, man ! And let me tell you, if your lover^s stain that drenches your skin is rosy, send him to the doctor immediately ! »
Your face went quite rosy at that and even Miss Rio had to stop shortly as she could hardly stifle a laugh.
Everyone called for an encore when she was finished .

I couldn^t link Ralph^s colorful alter ego to the man of last night until we joined him at the bar after his performance, where he was already encircled by several guests.
„ Miss Rio!“ you grinned „ Thank you so much for this amazing show! Though im deeply insulted. You would curl for Simon? I thought I^m your fav!“
„Oh honey!“ the drag queen blinked with her enormous false lashes . „For you I would do so much more! And your member will always be my favorite one. Fancy to ruffle some feathers, birthday boy?“ With a very girlish giggle she lifted you up and my mind flipped back to last night as you flung your sexy legs around her and she kissed you noisily on the cheek, leaving lipstick cherry all over. „ Happy birthday, my fav fucking gorgeous drummer.Would you dance with me to my favorite song yet again?“
Simon and I grinned at each other as you rushed off to the dancefloor, Miss Rio still holding you and your legs still looped around her feathered hips.
Amber, who seemed to have some kind of crush for men dressed like women since she^d met Diana, elbowed me. „ Pretty hard to imagine that *she* is a man, huh?“
„Oh princess, believe me, he is. « her father chuckled.

We stayed in bed the next day, you created your own account for the Gay Duranie departement –forum and posted :
*Thanks for all your birthday wishes, I had a blast ! A very special *thank you* to RalphDDTaylor AKA Miss Rio.Such fun to ruffle your feathers! ;)* followed by a few pictures from the HLTW, showing Miss Rio^s performance, her between all birthday guests in a group pic and in the last one * she* was carrying you in her arms, framed by Charlie and me.
Yet again the community freaked out and the thread was bombed with comments.
« You aren^t afraid of Ralph being indiscreet , are you ? » I wanted to know, pulling your head to my chest.
« No. I don^t think he^s that kind of person and if you trust him, I do, too. Even if he WOULD say something, who would believe him anyway?“
„Yeah. I mean, it^s completely unrealistic, isn^t it ? » i chuckled and felt the rumble of your silent laughter against my body. Dear god, how can someone so sweet be so utterly debauched ?
„Why Ralph?“ you asked quietly, placing butterfly kisses on my chest.
« Because he really loves you and he never would do anything to hurt you. And i like him. I was quite suprised when we met him in Barnes. There was nothing feminine about him.“
„He told me that Miss Rio is only for his comedy thing and occasionally for gay events. He doesn^t feel feminine at all.Ah, no, he ..he felt not a bit feminine to me.“ you grinned against my skin.
« He was so nervous ! I never thought it would turn out like it did.“
„Yes, handsome?“
„I love you. You…I mean, all that, all those…the things with others…I mean…I like, I really like, but…“
„ I know, Roger. I know“
We almost kissed each other to death the day after your 47th birthday.

Ah, sorry for those time loops, i just have to skip the explicit things sometimes. Too much to bear here, so far away from you. My mind isn^t following a time line, though.
Where was I? Hm.
Nayeli Rodriguez, the new earthling, born shortly before my 45th birthday, at the 4th of june,
Of course we loved that little girl from the first moment on, but the one who lost his heart completely to her was our dear Rupert.
He and Dom appeared in the hospital just a few minutes after us,
We sat around Sonya^s bed, all silent, not daring to disturb Nayeli and Son during the breast feeding , as the door flung open.
„Shhhh“ you hissed and Rupert stopped dead in his tracks, not moving a single bit until the baby had finished it‘s meal.
„Come closer, Roo, she won^t bite you“ Son grinned. „Look, Nay, yet another two uncles. My, you have quite a lot of uncles!“
Never in my entire life will I forget about Rupert^s face as he took the girl in his arms for the first time. It was like the two were staring at each other in pure love, Nayeli with the blue eyes of a newborn, Rupert with his amazing grey ones.
„Hello!“ he whispered *I^m Rupert.My, are you beautiful! Uh. I thought babies are bald,“ Ever so careful he stroked over the tiny head. „Wow. You are by far the cutest thing I ever have seen! Isn^t she beautiful, Dom?“
Dom nodded, speachless with the image of pure love, as if he would be afraid that a word could let this bubble of peace burst .
It bursted a second later with a knock at the door and a very very tall male nurse entering the room.
„Oh.“ he said. „What a surprise!“
« Ralph ! » I smiled « A surprise indeed ! »
We hadn’t seen him since your birthday party and he never had called or something.
It was kinda strange to see him here.
Avoiding to look at you, he reached out a hand for Sonya.
„Mrs Rodriguez, my name is Ralph Taylor. I^m your nurse for today. If there^s anything i can do for you, just push that red button.“
„ I know you! Help me. I can^t remember!“ Son smiled, shaking the offered hand heartily.
„ Miss Rio“ he winked.
„No way! Sonya. Call me Sonya. This is my husband Carlos. We never had the chance to talk to you at Roger^s birthday, we left early, but you were amazing ! Here we have Rupert and Dom, and you surley know these two ! »
„Of course I do » he seemed to be even more nervous as he was at Simon^s, all insecure about how to deal with us here.
You rose from your chair, well aware of his confusion, pulled him close and said, all honest „ Good to see you! You have to come over for dinner anytime soon, yeah?“
„Oh really? I^d love that“
His ability to shine like a christmas tree was very touching.
„ You should! Roger is a pretty good cook“ Sonya assured .
« What about tomorrow ? » I suggested. « 7 :30 ? It^s just down the road from Simon, Richmond road 34.“
„ Cool! Thank you! Excuse me, folks, work calls! Oh, Mrs…er…Sonya, I^ll be back in half an hour, The doctor wants to see Nayeli for a quick check, ok?“


„Roger?“ I called as I stepped into the hallway „ I have been in every grocery store around, no strawberries. Brought cherries instead…Where are you, luv? Roger?“
„Backyard. Changed plans, We^ll have a BBQ.And I have called Yas and Charlie to join us“
I hugged you from behind as I stepped out into the garden.
„You^re not planning any actions here, no?“ I grinned, catching your earlobe with my teeth.
„Not at all. I just thought we should have some sort of debriefing. Ralph was obviously uncomfortable to see us and we should have called him after my birthday. It^s more than a month ago. We left him alone with all this and he can’t talk to anyone about it. Must have been quite a shock to bump into us at his working place.“
„ Well, he never called, either. Or mailed.“ I shrugged.
„Nick! Don^t be mean! He^s still a fan. He doesn^t know if we want any more contact and he doesn^t want to bother us. He^s just being respectful »
„You are really not made for this * sex with strangers*-thing, are you?“ I chuckled.
„ You have told me, Nick, that you are not using people. But if you^d be honest, that^s what we did. We used him. We used him because he^s a bloody gay duranie. Like some nameless groupie, and that^s not fair.“
„Yes. You are right, Like always. You are just too sweet for this world, do you know that ? » I turned you around for a proper kiss and felt like the most egoistic person ever. Dang! Yeah, we had used Ralph. I mean. It^s not that he was chasing after us, like those groupies. WE talked him into this, Charlie and I.
The LeBons were the first to show up and we told them that we^d met Ralph at the hospital. You repeated what you^d told me, about that we^d used him, and the couple had to agree,
« What now ? » Simon sighed. « I mean…i don^t wanna sound rude or something, but DO we want to have any more contact ?What kind of contact ? He^s a male nurse. What do we have in common ? »
« Woah, Charles ! I never knew that you are such an arrogant snob ! »you blurted.
« It^s not arrogant, Roger ! it^s simply a fact. » Si shrugged.
« We know nothing about him, Simon ! let^s see how this dinner goes, yeah? We don^t have to be best friends with him, but ignoring him is utterly mean!“ you explained.

An all over beaming Ralph joined us not much later and when you had served the drinks I thought i should start. It was my plan, wasn^t it? It was me who got in contact with him.
„ Ralph..I have to apologize.I should have called you. I should have asked how you feel about our pre-birthday-party.We usually do that…talking about everyone^s feelings after such an experience and I^m sorry that we left you out“

„Oh, you don^t have to be sorry. I thought I^d never hear from you again anyway. I mean…you had made it perfectly clear that it^s about ..that, well, a *sex with a stranger*-thing.It was just kinda odd to see you with Mrs…with Sonya, I wasn^t prepared for that, not there, at my working place. You caught me off-guard, so to speak.“ he said quietly, carefully avoiding eye contact with you.
« I had to ask for your name and I…I don^t know, I^m just not that *let^s have sex with strangers and forget about them*-person. If this is causing you any trouble, Ralph, i^m sorry. If you..i don^t know, maybe YOU wanted to keep it to the *stranger-level*… » you explained.
« Oh god » Ralph whispered. « Oh god ! » and then he looked at you finally « Would you please stop that ? «
« Stop what ? »
« Don^t apologize for not being a bloody asshole, yeah ? It never was at any *stranger-level* for me. It never was. I saw your very first gigs at the Heaven , I freaked out when *save a prayer* became No.1, i went to every fucking concert I could get tickets for. And when you came out to the press, when you two told everyone that you^re a couple, I didn^t know if I wanted to cry with happiness because you^re gay or if i wanted to kill Nick for…for having you! Sorry!“ he turned to me. „ But that^s the truth.“
« Uh-oh » Simon chuckled « beware of his steak-knife, Nick!“
That was a very obvious try to lighten the mood, and it worked, as Ralph laughed and continued: „ No worries, i^m over it. I just want to explain my feelings. I thought that^s why i^m here. And I want to be honest with you, ok? So…Roger…you said you^ll never understand that fan-thing, but well, I AM a fan. I^m that sort of fan who is searching the net for pics, who has a poster of you pinned at his wall, who almost cried when he couldn^t buy this bloody old shirt of your^s. Back then, when you stood next to me at the bar, at Kieran^s birthday, i thought i was going to die. Miss Rio saved me, as she is some sort of a mask to hide behind. So it wasn’t me who took you to the dancefloor, it was the all confident sparkling Miss Rio. Me, Ralph , I would never have dared to dance with you. I would never have dared to even talk to you!
And then Nick and Si walked into that cafe in Barnes and asked me to FUCK you! Gosh! I thought this was some very very sick joke.But it wasn^t. I^m still not fully believing that it really happened“
Simon leaned over and took one of Ralph^s large hands.
« I’m all with you, mate. You have no clue how much I^m with you ! Not about that fan-thing, of course, but i know what it^s like when you are secretly dreaming of something for a very long time and telling yourself over and over again that it^s completely out of reach, that it will never happen.It^s overwhelming , utterly overwhelming and almost too much to bear as it becomes real against all odds. My turn to apologize now, Ralph. We thought that it^d be a brilliant idea to have a fan for our little plot, We didn^t think so much about your feelings, i guess. »
« Ralph ? » you asked quietly « do you regret it ? »
Ralph stared at you and then he threw his head back and laughed like mad.
„ Tell me“ he turned to me as he catched his breath « Just tell me , Nick, how is it possible that he^s so fucking gorgeous and still so incredibly CUTE ?“
„it^s him!“ I smiled .“ it^s just him“
What happened next caught us all completely off guard .
Ralph got up just to drop down on his knees in front of you and cupped your cheeks with his hands.
„Never in my entire life will I regret this, Roger! I will always remember every single second of this evening, How it felt to be all in you. What you look like when you come, how you SOUND when you come, what you taste like! I will never forget! And I will never forget how sweet and cute and caring you are. You are all what I thought you would be, you are even more than that. But my dream, Roger, my dream wasn^t and still isn^t about fucking you. My dream always ends with * and they lived happily ever after* and I^m well aware of the fact that this is not going to happen. I thank you so much…for being who you are and for making dreams come true, but I have to go now. I thought it would be possible…to be some sort of a friend, but I can’t torture myself with being near you and hoping for yet another miracle.I will go back to my bloody gay duranie-universe, searching for pics and going to every concert, and every once in a while I will play my very own porn movie of that night in my head and jerk off to your screams with pleasure and the feeling of your tight hotness around me. I would be happy if you could post in the forum from time to time, if you want. I have to go on living my own life, if I^m lucky enough I^ll find someone to share it with, but this won^t happen if i^m still dreaming of you. I love you.I have always loved you and I love you even more now that i know who you really are.“
He reached into his pocket for a small package, placed it in your hand and wrapped your fingers around it.
„Thank you. Happy belated birthday. Call me in case you^ll have enough of this lucky Rhodes-bastard, yeah?“
And he left, just like that, leaving us all speachless.
„Fuck!“ you yelled and before i could say something, you run after him, just to come back not even 2 minutes later and I had to smile broadly.
„Where^s your shirt gone?“
„Ah well, gave it to a bloody gay duranie. I like to make people happy, you know ? I need a drink . Two drinks. A lot of drinks. Fuckfuckfuck! I almost cried!“
„I^m still crying“ Yasmin sobbed and we all got very very drunk .
A very special man, Ralph.

Chapter Text

The celebration of my own birthday was something completely different .
We went to Wales again, just the two of us.
Simon was a bit upset about that, but I thought you and I needed some time alone.
I had something special in mind, though.
There was no *Wales-Ritual“ this time and you were all puzzled about that. Whenever we were here before, it was about more or less strict roles and your confusion when you realized that I just walked in and even carried the first load of luggage almost made me laugh.
But as I said, I had other plans…
I went straight into the kitchen to start the coffee maker and it took you a while to follow as you were still waiting for some instructions.
« Luv » I beamed when you finally entered the kitchen. „ Coffee is ready in a minute. What do you think about driving to the bakery , getting us some cake?“
„Er..ok. What do you want?“
„Something with strawberries, if possible“
As soon as you had left, I made my preparations.
You^ll get it totally, completely out of the blue and for once it^ll be a total power exchange, more than only strict roles. For this weekend you^ll be a slave.
I needed some time to focus here, to think about plan b and plan c if something would go wrong. The point was, I^d do a few things which possibly would bring up bad memories.
Most of all I wanted to test your trust in me, I wanted to find out if you had made your peace with the past. Would you let it happen?
And would I be able to lead you into complete submission?

About 30 minutes later we sat at the table, having a *normal* afternoon coffee and a quite *normal* conversation. Well , everything was so very *normal* that it^s almost boring.
„Hey Roger, can I make a birthday wish?“ I asked casually, normal, you know.
« Anytime, precious » you smiled, so very much in normal-mode.
All or nothing. Now or never.
„Call me master the next two days.“
Your eyes widened and your reaction was exactly like I had thought, as you tilted your head back and laughed.
I waited patiently, not saying a word.
„OK, Master Nick.Some more coffee, Master Nick?“ you grinned, still chuckling.
„No * Nick*. Only Master, slave“
Your grin faded.“ That^s not funny, Nick!“
„Master. And it’s no fun at all“
Resistance. I thought so.
With crossed arms you leaned back, your posture a silent but very clear statement .
No way ! it said.
„Do you trust me?“ I asked , keeping my voice as casual as I^d talk about the weather.
« I do, but… »
« Well, if you do there^s no *but*. 2 days. Call it a tunnel game.No way out. Trust me or not »
« That^s not fair, Nick ! I^m trusting you, but…“
« And again there^s a *but* » I sighed « That^s not how it works, slave ! »
« I hate it to be called a slave. You know that ! »
« As much as you hate collars ? » I smirked, raising my brows.
« That^s not the same ! » you blurted.
„You are right, it is not. I^m asking for 2 days here, not forever. I want a slave for my birthday. Not more, not less. Two days of TPE. You^ll be collared with an all cliche leather collar, you^ll be leashed, you^ll be naked and on all fours. You^ll serve me in every way I want to be served. »
« I have done that before, Nick, and I like it, as you may have noticed, but do we really need this Master/ slave-thing ? »
« For once we need that, yes. » I said clearly.
« But WHY, for fuck^s sake ? »
„Because it’s part of the game. Because that makes it more intense . Because you will give me complete control. You^ll have 10 minutes for your decision from now on. If you say *no*, nothing is going to happen. There won^t be one bit of playing and I know you miss it. Show me that you REALLY trust me!“
I knew that was mean,but there was no other way.
I could hardly stifle a grin when you checked your watch and I knew that you were at least thinking about it.
Without a word you left the room. I kept my eyes on the clock in the kitchen.
9 minutes 45 seconds.
You appeared in the doorway. Naked, on all fours. YESYESYES !!!
I slowly rose from my chair to stand in front of you.
« Nice. » I muttered. « very nice »
And for the very first time since you got that collar, I unlocked it with my key pendant and took it off to replace it with a solid leather collar. A real dog collar, like for a golden retriever, and fixed the leather leash.
You shivered all over, avoiding any eye contact, your eyes neatly glued to the floor.
„Get up, slave!“ I commanded. And that word alone, the all cliche slave-word, made you wince.
I think you got it by now…that it was about humiliation and exaclty what you had said before the first party in Brighton…dehumanisation.
Something I would never want in all day life, not even on a regular basis. I had assured your brother that I^m not interested in *brainless slave-things* and that^s still the truth.
It^s just…well, since the very intense experience with the spiked paddle and the amazing power trip I wanted to find out if you would let me do that. You did it with that idiot and you had once confessed that you liked it.

There you were, hands folded behind your neck, eyes down, like so often before, but we both felt it^s different this time.
I let a hand run down your torso and pushed your legs apart with one knee.
„Stay like this. Perfectly still. Got it?“
That fight, I love it.
I stood there waiting and you knew what I wanted to hear.
„Good boy!“ I patted your head, quite aware of your tension, your gritted teeth and yet another wince and I almost had to chuckle. Ok, that^s too much. I should keep in mind that you could easily overpower me if you wanted, as long as you were not completely in sub space. And you weren^t, definetly not.
I had to change that.
You needed something to focus on, something that would help you to let go.
I went for the bag I had placed on the kitchen counter while you had been in the bakery.
Oh, I was pretty sure you^d like what I brought for you.
Anal beads, the longest I could find, with 6 linked silicone balls. It starts with a tiny one and ends with a very large.
With that impessive toy and a bottle of lube in hands I turned to you. „Hey, look at that!“
It took you several minutes to look up and the whimper escaping from your lips as you spotted my present sent jolts through my body.
„I wonder if you can take this, pretty boy.“
Slowly walking back to you I held you with my gaze and you didn^t dare to look away. Once i had reached you, I grabbed your hair to pull your head back and your eyes fell close.
„Tell me, can you take it ?Can you take it to please your master ? »
« Yes, Yes, Ni.. oh god…I…yes, Master. » Your voice trembled, your eyes were still closed and you breathed heavily. Still not fully in, but there was also your twitching cock , already dripping with precum. Perhaps your brain wasn^t ready yet, but your body screamed for it.
I let go of your hair and rubbed a thumb over the tip.
« Such a greedy boy » I whispered in your ear and pushed my wet thumb in your mouth. « Suck it, greedy thing. Taste your lust. That^s what it does to you, my little slave. That^s how much you hate to be a slave. »
There was nothing you could do about it, your reactions were telling the truth and you knew it.
And dear god, we hadn^t even started yet!
„Now, pretty slave, bend over and spread that nice ass for me, yeah?“
„As you wish..“ Again you stumbled over this one word „ …Master.“
Surely you were quite aware of how very humiliating this position was, bent forward, holding yourself open.
Goodness, Roger, I hope you know how very aware I was of how much overcoming this must have cost you!
I started to massage the lube in and around your entrance. Your quiet moans made me smile, as you obviously tried to suppress them but failed so bady.
You almost lost balance when I slowly pushed in the first beads.
„Hold still“ I said sharply, pulling your head back again. This maybe was a painful hold, but it WAS a hold.
Once the beads were all in, I commanded: „ Down“ and reached for the leash.
You followed me, crawling on all fours, as I went for the bag and then into the living room. Every move made the balls inside you vibrate , massaging your filled canal and again you tried to stifle those wonderful noises of lust.
I sat in the armchair, let you kneel beside me, took the book from the small table aside and leaned back.
„ I need a bench here, slave“ I said absently from behind the book pages, tugged slightly at the leash and without any hesitation you got in positon in front of me so that I could lay my feet on your back. Good thing I had this book to hide my smile.Of course I wasn^t reading at all, I was secretly glancing at you, impressed to no end. Perfect posture, not moving a single bit, perfectly still. The world^s most sexy foot bench, I^d say.
A little bit too perfect, as I needed something to punish you for, but you didn’t even tremble in the 30 minutes I let pass with my feet on your back.
Those drummers and their stamina, ack !

Chapter Text

Since I had planned this for quite a while I^m all prepared, of course ,and now it was time to take the next step.
I bent for the crop beside the armchair and let the tip run over the back of your upper thights. You snapped out of your stoic posture, gasping in surprise.
« I don^t think that benches do move, slave ! » I blurted as I hit the crop across your backside.
Oh well, I can^t think for a reason why someone should whip benches either, but who cares ?
You tried. You tried hard. To hold still, to not make a noise , but you failed because I wanted you to fail.
« Oh my » I sighed in frustration. „ being a proper bench is obviously too much to ask for. Pretty boy is way too focused on his own needs, huh? I can^t remember that I^ve ever seen a bench with a dripping hard-on . Well, ok. I will give you time to learn. Come here“
For the first time ever I gagged you, like Allan did, with a ball gag. And that^s not all.
„Flat on your stomach“ I commanded, fixed the cuffs at wrists and ankles and bound you into a quite uncomfortable hogtie, with your arms stretched out behind your back, ankles fixed at your wrists.
Let^s see how much your drummer stamina would help you here.
„It’s not very comfortable, is it?“ I grinned, pulling your head up to make you look at me.
« Hmpf »
« So sorry, I can’t understand you ! »
I went back to my book, but again, of course, I was watching you instead of reading.
With every passed minute it became harder and harder for you to hold this position, your legs started to tremble and surely your neck must hurt after somewhat 15 minutes.
I removed the gag, sitting crosslegged on the carpet in front of your face.
« Is there something you want to ask your master for, pretty slave ? » You shook your head fiercly. If I had thought this would tame you somehow, I was definetly wrong, You were all resistance again. My fighter. My beautiful, wonderful fighter.
I waited.
Those tauruses are stubborn things, aren^t they?
„Look at me, boy“ I pulled your head up again as your eyes fell close.
« Oh wow, if looks could kill » I laughed. « Again, slave, this is not how it works.Ask nicely for it and I will free you. Give me another one of those looks and you^ll spent the whole night fixed and gagged, I promise . No, you will not close your eyes, Roger!“
Dang. Not ROGER. Pretty boy, boy, slave, not ROGER. This is harder than I had thought!
I got me a cigarrette and waited again. Another 5 minutes passed before I heard a very quiet «please »
« Please what ? »
« Please free me…master » you cried now, and I didn^t know if it was because of the pain the tie caused, the humiliation or some sort of relief because you finally had overcome yourself.
« That^s my boy » I said warmly and freed your ankles from your wrists. Your arms kept bound behind your back and your head fell down on the floor as you cried silently into the carpet.
« Ssssh, my pretty one. It^s ok. It^s ok » I soothed, stroking your sweaty hair and feeling a twist of guilt to be so turned on by your tears.
« I^m sorry, master, I^m sorry » you sobbed and now I knew that I had you deep into sub space. You had given up the fight. You were all mine now.
Next step.
I freed your arms and took the leash again, going into the kitchen with you on all fours, where I filled the dog bowl, another thing I had placed there before.
„You need to drink, yeah?“ I sat beside you on the floor while you did, while you did something I knew you were hating it, and I knew you did it for me. I gently stroke your back the whole time. It was a comforting caress. And it was a reminder that , right now, you were not more than the golden retriever you never wanted to be again. For me.
„Enough?“ I asked as the bowl was almost empty and you nodded „ Yes, master, thank you“
Time to thank YOU for your trust.
I led you into the bedrooom.
„Kneel on the bed, pretty boy“
I sat behind you as you did how being told, wrapped one hand firmly around your still half hard cock and hooked one finger of the other hand in the ring of the bead^s end.
„Press it out“ I whisper, pulling slightly while I stroked your cock in slow, steady moves.
„I can^t“ you whimpered.
« I help you, pretty boy. Just press. »
Your head fell against my shoulder and again the tears started to flow .
When the third ball showed you cried with pleasure, rocking fiercely back and forth, tears and humiliation, lust and pleasure, all mixed into something overwhelming, something too much to bear.
„Please, master, please, let me come, oh please! »
« What are you, pretty boy ? »
« Your slave, Master, your slave. Your …aaaah ! »
I held you close, whispering sweet words in your ear, and you were shaking all over, shaking and panting and still crying and I almost cried with you when you finally turned, took my hand and kissed the back of it ever so lightly. « Thank you, master »
We sat there in a peaceful silence for a very long time, foreheads leaned together, fingers intertwined, eyes locked to each other.
« Go have a shower, my pretty one. Then you^ll prepare my birthday dinner. » God, it took me a lot to stay in my role here, I tell you.
« As you wish, master » you answered and we shared a little smile.


It was close to midnight when you served the first course, poured the wine and dropped to your knees on a pillow beside my chair.
I fed you again and let you drink from my mouth and it was utterly erotic and intimate.
So erotic that I needed a blow job under the table before the second course.
You brought champagne at midnight and again you drunk from my mouth,
After you had cleared the table I commanded to lay down on it and covered your naked body with hot wax until the most beautiful slave ever begged his master for permission to come.
When we went to bed, I fixed your leash at the head end.

„Nick….Master…“ I heard you whisper in my ear.
„Good morning, pretty one“ I smiled
„ I want to prepare breakfast, if you don’t mind. Please, Master, free me from the leash.
„There^s something I have to do before breakfast, my sweet slave.“ I sat up against the head end and unleashed you.
„ I want to fuck my property“
As odd as it may sounds, fucking you as a master fucking his slave felt completely different than Nick fucking Roger, even different than dom fucking sub. Again it^s proved that sex is a brain-thing, most of all.
It felt like you really would be my property and I could do with you whatever I want.
You came before I gave permission, you came before ME, and breakfast had to wait because you needed to be punished for that, with your favourite instrument.
Of coure, that felt different, too. Having you yell out « Harder, master, please , harder » was … I don’t know, the zenith of might or something.
So it was almost midday when we finally had breakfast, you kneeling beside my chair. Afterwards I took advantage of my slave for one last time, having him crawl through the whole cottage, driven with heavy strokes of the crop and then back to lick off every drop of precum he had left on the part ot the floor which is not covered with carpets. Again the combination of pain,lust and humiliation sent you over the edge with overwhelming force.You may not want it, but you are really a slave. I was a bit shocked about how deep you were in your role, how less there was left of my Roger.
We had to leave around 4 and I knew how much time you need to come back, so when you were in the kitchen to clean up, I joined you, hugging you from behind.
„Hello there, my handsome husband“
„Hello, ma…precious“ You leaned your head against my shoulder, inhaling deeply. „Uh.I’m totally lost here“
„I know, luv. Go, get dressed I^ll do the cleaning“ I opened the leather collar and removed it.
When you came back, dressed in jeans and a tee, Roger at it’s best, I pulled you close.
„Who are you, luv?“
„ I don^t know yet“ you said quietly.
« I tell you, my love. You are Roger Taylor-Rhodes, my husband, the love of my life, drummer of Duran Duran , son of Jean and Hugh, fabulous godfather of Julie, Gemma and Nayeli, brother of Steve. You are a loyal friend, a great musician, an attentive lover and a brilliant cook. You are strong, confident and sexy. »
I felt the rumble in your chest as you laughed.
« Wow, I^m superman ! »
« Ah, don^t exaggerate ! » I chuckled.
« Nick ? »
« Yes, darling ? »
« I want to cry »
« Let it out, love, let it out » I held you. For a very long time.

Chapter Text

On the way home you were very quiet and you had to touch the silver collar several times, as if to make sure that the leather one was gone. As soon as we entered our house, you said « I need to go for a run »
« No, Roger, don^t do that, don^t run away. Talk to me, yeah ? » I pulled you close and you leaned your head against my shoulder.
« I can^t talk about it yet. I need to clear my head. Really, Nick,it^s not running away, it^s to sort myself out, ok?. I^ll be back in an hour, promised. »
« Ok. It^s still my birthday, luv, I want to get drunk with you.“ I smiled.
„Great plan! Have the whisky ready when I^m back!“ you grinned.
After almost exactly 60 minutes I heard your key in the lock and only seconds later you appeared in the living room.
„Hey, birthday boy, fancy a shower with me?“
„Anytime, pretty..handsome. » ack. What was that ? Roger, it^s Roger! Not *pretty boy*.
„Looks like I^m not the only one who isn^t fully back, hm?“ he chuckles, blushing slightly.
„Sorry. It^s… well.“ I shrugged, not knowing what to say.
« You… were…incredible » you said quietly, giving me a to die for-look.
« So were you. I had my doubts that you^d do it. You know what? No shower, let^s have a bath. Talking, drinking and getting all shrivelled »
What’s that ? Was it me who couldn`t talk about it now?

„You are still covered with wax“ I laughed as you glided into the tub.
« Pretty hard to remove. I^m too hairy for wax, i guess. »
« Come here, let me do that. »carefully I scraped the dried drops off, and you giggled like mad. « That tickles ! »
« Whiner ! hold still. »
« Have you just called me a whiner ? »
We had a playful fight, setting the bathroom under water, until I somehow landed on top of you and it simply happened that I was all in you in an instant.
We stared at each other, none of us moved.
„My pretty one“ I whispered and we made love. Slow and sweet. We never stopped smiling. Not even when I came in you, not even when your semen mixed with the last remaining water in the tub.I think we both needed that, we both needed a huge dose of all vanilla cosy tenderness.
Later, in the living room, huddled together on the sofa, we finally talked.
„For how long have you planned that?“ you started and of coure i knew immediately what you were talking about.
„Since the experience with the spiked paddle. I…I wanted to feel this power again.“ I admitted.
„And? Did it work?“
„Oh yes! Even better.“ I pulled you close, wanted to have you as near as possible.
„Same here“ you said quietly. „it^s easier…for me…when it^s about pain. Easier to let go.But…it^s…god, it^s…to feel so…ack ! I can^t even find words. I swear, it^s not about shame or that I don^t want to talk about it, I really can^t find words“
„It’s all about the mind-fuck, I think. We^ve done *harder* things before, haven^t we? But it felt complety different this time…EVERYTHING felt completely different“ I couldn^t find the right words, either.
„ were my owner.When it^s about pain, it^s physical. When you…I mean, mixed with your words and all, those^s…you let me see things in myself , things I don^t like very much, but they are there, and they scare me .And because they scare me, they thrill me.. »
« I know, my Roger, they scare me, too. The things in you and the things in me.“
Yeah, it scared me. To no end. What it did to me, to feel that might, that power. It^s one thing to give you pain. Like you said, it^s easier…
But the whole humiliation thing, having you crawl, bound in uncomfortable positions, drinking out of a dog bowl… it did something to me. Something I would never had expected.
I wanted more of that.

Something had changed. I can’t name it, but I felt it.
I wasn^t sure if it was something good.

If wittingly or unwittingly,I don^t know, but in the next few days we did utterly *normal* things only. Like seeing our parents, spending time with the girl^s night sleepover club and meeting friends. Vanilla friends.We were all smoochy and cuddly, but…again, I can^t name this *but*. It was just there.
Much to my surprise someone else noticed that. The angel face demon.
We had decided to have a BBQ at the LeBon^s, since they had a pool and it was a really hot summer for England.
You were in the backyard with Charlie, setting up the grill and such.
The girls all in the pool, what left Yassie and me alone in the kitchen to prepare some salads.
„Is there something wrong?“ the model asked out of the blue.
„Huh?“ My thoughts have been elsewhere, in the cottage in Wales, to be exact, with a pretty slave on all fours licking his own precum from the wooden floor.
„You and Rog…everything ok?“ She placed a slender hand on my shoulder.
„Sure. Why do you ask?“ I wonder and only when I had spoken it out, I realized that something was indeed not ok. Something I still couldn’t name.
« You two are… I don^t know…it^s like there is something between you and you both act like you won^t notice it…you act like one had cheated to the other and that one knows that the other one knows..that sounds weird, I know, sorry ! »
« I assure you that none of us is cheating, Yasmin » I blurted and was surprised how harsh the words came out.
« What is it, then ? » she was all calm, her hand still on my shoulder.
„I can’t come back“ I said quietly and all of a sudden it was totally clear. Yeah, I couldn^t come back. I was trapped in that overwhelmingly feeling of might. And I didn^t want to scare you, so I acted like everything was back to normal, but it wasn^t, and of course you felt it, too. Maybe because you couldn’t come back, either.
„From where?“ she wanted to know.
I told her. I told her everything.
And she wasn^t that wrong about the cheating, was she? I had said I^m not interested in brainless slave things, you had said you would never ever want to be like that again. We both cheated. On ourselves.Now what?
Yasmin listened without saying a word.
« You have to talk » she finally said. « You have to talk and you have to find a way how to integrate something what obviously bouth of you do want »
« It^s too much, Yasmin. Too much to be integrated in daily life »
„Change your Wales-trips then… live it out there. Once a month or whatever.“
« And with every time we^ll do that it will be harder to come back » I sighed.
„You don^t know that. Give it a try. And talk, for fuck^s sake, talk !“
„I don^t want to change what we have, Yassie. I love what we have. This Master/ slave-thing is nothing good, and I brought it up. I would never have thought that it does so much to me..and him. He was my slave, Yasmin.Not my husband, not my best friend, not my soulmate. He was my slave. He couldn^t really speak for hours
after we ended it. I^m afraid that this would be…destructive. I need my husband and my lover and my soulmate. Goodness, this is psycho crap, isn’t it?“
„Maybe. But it^s there. It^s there and you^ll have to find a way to deal with it. You love him. He loves you. You^ll find a way.“
It was just then when Simon and you came in, and you flung your tanned, muscled arms around me « Extra grill for Mister Vegetarian is set up.“
I inhaled your scent, my nose in that curve yet again, and like always , there was this hint of sex, of pheromones, testosterone, I don^t know.
My heart pounded like mad, and I tried to blink away the image popping up. You kneeling before me, with your back to me. Pressing out those beads, your body shaking with tears and lust.
A shiver went down my spine.
„I^m still mad at you, you know?“ Simon grinned when we all sat around the table in the garden. Lulah in your lab. Steaks for the carnivores, grilled vegetables for me, prepared on an extra grill my sla…my very attentive husband had set up for me.
„Why so?“ you asked, and I tried hardly to follow the conversation.
„For going to Wales without us. We could have had such a party!“ the singer winked.
Damm, Simon! Not in front of the girls!
You slowly set knive and fork aside, swallowing down a piece of steak.
« Excuse me a minute, will you? «
Lulah wasn^t happy about loosing her seat when you went into the house.
I thought about following you, but…god. The girls. No drama in front of the girls.
When you came back, after somewhat 5 minutes, you wore your sunglasses. I^m pretty sure you had cried.
Lulah climbed in your lab again and it almost killed me when she cupped your cheeks, placed one of her wet noisy kisses on your nose and said « Don^t be sad, Rogerrr. »
My, this little girl sensed everything.
« I^m not sad, sweetie.“ You smiled. That smile didn^t reach the corners of your eyes.
Once all the girls were gone, we had a few drinks with their parents and you never stopped kissing and touching me.
Normal things. Kissing and touching in public, without annoying rules.
„Dance with me“ I whispered and you understood immediately.
Yas und Simon remained all quiet when we danced under the stars, holding us close. We didn^t need any music.
„I can^t come back“ you said in my ear.
„Me neither“
That was exactly what i needed. There^s nothing more * normal*, more familiar, more ROGER than this little mantra. It helped me long time ago in the Velvet and it helped me now.
„Need a proper spanking, drummer?“ I chuckled.
„Uh, yes please“ you grinned back and we broke out in laughter. Good, pure, honest laughter. With tears and winkles and backtilted heads.
Yasmin was right. We^ll find a way. No clue where this way would lead us to, but we^ll find one. For the first time in days those distracting images popping up in my head were gone and I danced with my Roger in my arms, with my husband, my lover, my sub. And my pretty boy. My sweet slave. It^s there, it^s in us like everything else we are. We can^t deny it.

„Now what?“ I asked , back home, cuddled under the blankets.
„I don^t know. I really don^t know.“ You sighed, your fingers playing with my key pendant. „We need to keep it temporary somehow.“
„That^s the point. I have to tell you, Roger, I told Yasmin about it. She asked if there^s something wrong between us. »
« It’s ok. I talked to Sonya. » your hand wandered down to one nipple and a caressing thumb starts to drive my crazy.
« Did she have any useful advices ? »
« Not really. The problem…for me…is, that I need days to be back to normal. And I don^t want that. If I^d know how to change it…“
„Maybe we shouldn^t do that for days. Maybe we should cut it short. And always end it when we go to bed.“ I suggessted.
„Hm. I…don^t get me wrong, perhaps it^s…weird, but…I don^t want to be your…I don^t want to be a slave in our home. Home is slave-free zone, yeah? I mean. It^s absolutely ok to be sub here, but… »
„I understand. You are right, home has to be Master/slave free zone. I got the difference between sub and slave, Roger. Absolutely. That leaves the Velvet, if you ask me. But in the Velvet there are your friends and maybe you don^t want them to see my pretty boy. And stop playing with my nipple, yeah ? I have to concentrate here ! »
You chuckled quietly and my heart melted yet again as you looked me into the eyes and said : « I don^t think that your pretty boy cares much about who is around once he is your pretty boy. »

Chapter Text

It was about two weeks later when Master and his pretty boy had their first appearance in the Velvet. Your silver collar had been replaced by the leather one and before we entered the Club, I blindfolded you. For the very beginning it would be better that you won^t see who^s there.It would be easier to let go.
I guided you into the changing rooms and undressed you. Before I clicked the leash in, I pulled you close for a very deep kiss.
« Who are you ? »
« I^m your slave, Master. » you answered with a shaky voice.
« Yes, my pretty one, that^s what you are. «
Michael gasped as we came in, you on all fours, almost completely naked. There were only tight black boxers, Nothing leather or something. Simple plain boxers. The nipple clamps with the weights were dangling nicely as you crawled to the bar beside me.
« Who the hell is THAT ? » Michael grinned.
„That^s my pretty little slave. » I winked at my friend.
„Wow. Who would have thought that?“ he smiled.
Mona came out of the office, smiling broadly
« Rog.. » she started, but stopped death in her tracks.
Everyone noticed that there is something different and even if nothing had happened yet I felt it again…the power. The might.
You had kneeled beside me before. You had been all naked in here more than once. But the ones who knew us sensed that it^s not the same today.
„Hey“ Mike leaned over the counter and whispered in my ear „ you know it^s audition night today, yeah?“
„ I know. We^ll see. Not sure if anything is going to happen“ I whispered back.
The place was quite packed, some of the guests I had seen before and a few came over to greet me. None of them talked to you.
„Hi there, owner of this precious slave!“ Violet hugged me, not without whispering a quick « wooow » in my ear.
I felt like an emperor, really. A roman emperor with his very own slave.
I know how stupid that sounds, my Roger, and I think you are laughing like mad reading this, but that^s exactly how I felt. This is what you did to me that evening, what the simple fact did to me that you were collared, leashed and nipple clamped , that you were kneeling beside me in a perfect posture, your legs spread, hands on your thights with palms up, head tilted down, all cliche slave position, and still nothing more had happened than that.

Mike gave me a questioning look, holding up a dog bowl, but I shook my head slightly.
No, not here, where Alan did that with Rupert.
I took a sip of white wine instead and pulled your head back, leaning down to let you drink out of my mouth.
„Thank you, master“ you said, quiet but clear.
Michael^s jaw dropped and Vi could hardly stifle a laugh.
The place hummed with excitement, because almost everyone knew us. Those who haven^t seen us here before knew who we are, Nick Rhodes and Roger Taylor of Duran Duran, and couldn^t believe what they saw, so couldn^t the ones who knew us, because…well… they knew us. They knew YOU and your cliche allergy, your Master/ slave-phobia and all that.
Mona stared like she did back then at Madame Claire^s and Dylan, who had joined the two M^s behind the bar never stopped to shake his head, grinning all over.
Time to let you see how much attention you caused.
Again I gave you some wine, and when you whispered « Thank you, Master » I removed the blindfold.
You whimpered quietly, leaning your head against my leg, and I lifted your chin with one finger. A shiver went through your body when I asked : « What are you, pretty boy ? »
« Your…slave..Master. »It came out in gasps, but still audible for those who were near.
« Yes, you are. » I smiled, patting your head.Then I leaned over to Violet and whispered the idea I just had in her ear.
She was all in.
Since everyone seemed to be so excited and it^s audition night… I tugged slightly at the leash and you got on all fours in a split second.
People made space for us as I guided you through the room to stop directly under the suspension point.
The humming got louder with the guests realizing that something was going on.
Violet followed us with her ropes in hand .
„Get up“ I ordered and you didn^t hesitate to do so. Hands folded behind your neck, eyes darting to the floor, well aware of the fact that everyone in the room was staring at you now.
„I think slaves have to be naked, right, Lady Violet?“ I asked, winking at her.
„Definitely“ she nodded, grinning broadly.
„You have heard the lady, my pretty boy“
You gulped visibly, but your hands wandered down to the waistband of your pants and you pushed them down and stepped out of them.
Nothing new, you had been naked before in front of others, in front of friends and strangers but I knew it felt different this time.
For the first time it was about presenting you to others. Presenting you as a slave.
You breathed heavily but stood perfectly still, waiting patiently for whatever would happen.
Vi put her ropes down, right before you so that you could see them.
„Stay here.Don^t move.“I said. It was hard not to touch you now. You were incredibly beautiful. Overwhelmingly beautiful.
„As you wish, Master“
I went back to the bar and ordered another wine from the still staring Mona.
„Mona, please.“ I repeated as she didn^t react.
« Wha…oh. Sorry. Sure.Sorry…I^m..that^s…uh »
« Oh yes, it is ! it is indeed very *uh* » Mike laughed. „How the hell did THAT happen?“
I told them about my birthday while I watched you standing there and I couldn^t stop smiling. Oh my. This was simply perfect. Perfect and far beyond my wildest dreams.
Once I had taken the last sip of wine, I gave Vi a sign.
Let the show begin.
She had bound you in only a few minutes, arms streched out above your head, ankles fixed at the metal rings in the floor to hold your legs apart, the leather leash dangling down between the silvery clamps on your nipples.
I placed our bag beside you, fetching the first toy and the obligate lube.
It^s the electro plug.
« You remember that, don^t you ? » I asked, pulling your head back to make you look at me.
« Yes, Master, I surely do » Your eyes darted into mine, dark , wet and so very full of trust that it almost killed me. Ack! Not the right time to fall into pink jellybean mode here! The hard, strict Master I am!
„Good. Open your mouth. Excellent, pretty thing. Now hold it in while I^ll lube you properly.“
It was so silent in the room that your breathed sighs could be heard very well as I worked you open, making sure to hit your prostate several times.
God, you were wonderful. All outstretched and trying so hard to keep that plug in your mouth, trying so hard not to scream with pleasure, your cock rock hard and dripping yet again.
„Looks like you can^t wait. Well, you don^t have to wait longer. Gimme that. »
You spitted the toy in my palm.
„Did you just spit on me?“ I growled and slapped you hard in the face with the indeed quite wet hand.
Some lurkers gasped, some smiled knowingly.
„I^m sorry. I^m sorry, Master“ You struggled with tears now. We had reached the humiliation part and you knew it. You knew there was no other option than to spit this thing into my hand , you knew it wasn^t fair and still you loved it to be slapped.
„You know what? I have changed plans.We won`t need that.“ I let the plug fall to the floor. „I think I want to make you cry. I think I want to make you beg for mercy. And I bet you^ll come hard, because you love that, don’t you?“
„Yes“ you whispered.
„I can’t hear you, slave!“ Holy shit, I was so turned on that I could hardly resist to simply fuck you, here and now, deep and hard.
„I love it to be…forced, Master“ you said a little louder.
I didn^t have a plan, I never had a plan. Actually I was just following your reactions. The only planned thing was to let Vi tie you up here.
I wanted to keep the *actual action* short, not longer than an hour or so. It^s the first time here, right ?
Nothing too hard, not to much humiliation and such, but this game followed it’s own dynamics here.Our dynamics. Our chemestry, and it was like a rush.
My eyes met your^s and this expression in your face was awesome, absolutely awesome. Pure craving.
Oddly enough I had to smile, and you smiled back. „ Please!“
This little word never failed to have the desired effect.
„Please what?“ My hand in your hair, tight and painful.
„Slap me, Master. Slap me hard. Please »
The whole world disappeared. There was only your face,with the big brown eyes, the sweet trembling lips and a single tear rolling down your cheek.
I slapped you. So hard that my palm hurt, never loosing eye contact. Three, five, seven times before I had to stop. I was totally loosing control here and had to come down a bit from that power trip . Letting go of your hair I grabbed your throbbing cock. Our eyes still fixed at each other I whispered „ Come for me. Pretty boy“ Not even when you did you closed your eyes. Not even as you licked your own semen off of my fingers. Not even when I greedily fucked you with three fingers and my other hand removed the clamps. You screamed and cried and begged, but you NEVER closed your eyes, you never looked away.
You came three times and were a quivering mess when you finally whispered
„ Have mercy, Master“
With that, I bent for the bag and fetched the spiked paddle.
One stroke, hard and fast, making you bleed.
And again I came right into my pants.

A strange noise which didn’t seem to fit in let me snap back to reality.
They applauded. They really applauded. That felt so odd that I had to chuckle and I heard you doing the same.
„No encore, no, no encore“ you gasped and I quietly hummed the melody of * girls on film*, the usual encore at concerts.
Vi joined us to free you from the ropes and was all puzzled to find us giggling like mad. „You guys are crazy, you know that?“
You couldn^t stand properly, as the familiar shaking and teeth chattering started in an instant and with our help you glided gently to the floor, where I had my arms around you immediately. This was when you closed your eyes, leaned heavily against me and tried to concentrate on your breathing.
No clue for how long we sat there before we were able to go to the shower.
When we came back into the bar you wore the silver collar again and the famous leather pants, not more .Of course you were far away from *back to normal*, so was I, but it was ok. It was nothing bad.

Chapter Text

Mona, that good soul, handed you a power bar and I was all touched when Michael leaned over the counter to place a kiss on your forehead.
„Hi Mike“ you said quietly.
« Hello, my dear Roger. Is there anything I can do for you ? »
„Coffee and a Carlos^special would be nice, thank you“
You sat on one of the bar stool but winced from pain as soon as your tortured ass made contact with the hard wood. The spikes had left their marks. Deep, bloody marks, so you decided to keep standing and I took the stool, having you right before me, leaning at the counter, facing me and giving me a perfect sight of your bare chest. I had to pull you close, I had to hold you, and at that very moment we weren^t master and slave. Or dom and sub. We were only two people madly in love with each other. Two people who confiding in one another that much that they can share everything.

Yasmin and Simon took care of Nayeli the next weekend and we went to Glencoe with the Rodriguez`, visiting Conrad and Carl.
We sat in their cozy living room all together, chatting and drinking . I had my arm around you and your hand was resting on my thight, whenever our eyes met we had to smile.
„Those two!“ Carl winked at Sonya. „ They are cute, aren^t they?“
„ Indeed!“ she chuckled. Of course she knew about the latest happenings, as she^s the one you used to talk about such things and I was pretty aware that she kept an eye on us, on me, in that case. She had seen once what it could do to you and after our appearance at the Velvet she had called me immediatly.
„Are you nuts?“ Son yelled at me as soon as I had picked up the phone.
« A very good morning to you, Mrs Rodriguez. I^m pretty fine, thank you. »
« In the Velvet, Nick ? Seriously ? Are you nuts?
„Bush telegraph works excellent, I see. Who has called you? Mike?“
„No, man! It was Roger. At three in the morning. He needed to talk. You have opened pandora^s box here, Nick. Be aware of that. Make sure you can handle it. The Velvet is Roger^s place. It^s his second home. He^s loved and accepted there as Roger. Not as a sub and not as a slave…as Roger. As the lovely , warm, caring person that he is. Don^t destroy that. »
« Sonya… » I started but she wasn^t ready to listen yet.
„ Don^t get me wrong, Nick. I know you love him. I know you are not like that bloody asshole. But never underestimate his strong need and will…“
„To be a slave, Son? That^s it, isn^t it ? It^s there, it always has been there and it won^t go away. And we, Sonya, WE, he and I, we have to find a way how to deal with it. We both don^t want it here, in our home. We both think that a whole weekend is too intense, so it won^t happen in Wales. What leaves the Velvet. Perhaps it^s exactly that, that he^s all loved and accepted there, what helps him to let it happen. What gives him hold. Perhaps it^s the fact that he^s surounded by friends there and that they all care for him.“
„Oh well, perhaps you^re right“ she said quietly after a long silence. « You know what ? Let^s have a weekend off, far away from all SM-related stuff. Friends hanging out together, huh?“

That^s how we ended here, in Glencoe, and instead of * cliche-SM* we gave us the full dose of *cliche-Scotland*, including haggis, whiskey and two scottish lads in kilts.
„You are cuter!“ you smiled. « Those kilts suit you well, really.“
„Ah, thank you, sweetie, we wanted to give you a proper scottish welcome, aye? It was much more fun wearing them when we were younger, though. Easy access, huh?“ Carl grinned.
„So you don^t wear anything underneath?“ Carlos wondered.
„ Of course not! Would ruin the freedom of letting hang everything loose, man!“Con blurts.
Two hours later Sonya was knocked out completely, not used to the alcohol yet, and we all decided to go to bed early. You and Carlos wanted to go for a run around Loch Leven in the morning anyway, so a long sleep won’t hurt.
Once we were in bed, snuggled up to each other, we didn^t want to sleep, though.
„ Who had the plan?“ you asked, smiling broadly.
„ What plan?“
„ The plan to come here, precious. Was ist Son or you?“
„Son“ I admitted. „ She was very mad at me, I tell you.“
„Sorry about that….I just had to call her. I couldn^t sleep and mind was racing and such…you know me.“ Your fingers played with the key pendant again.
„ Never be sorry for calling friends, Roger. Never be sorry for the need to talk.“ I pulled you even closer and we kissed deeply.
„ Would you…would you fuck me again, handsome? Please?“ I whispered.
„You don^t have to prove that you^re not in master-mode, love. I got that. So if this is about … » I interupted you with yet another kiss.
« It^s not about that. It^s …yeah, well, maybe it^s about that, somehow…but still..I want to share everything with you, everything I can give. And I want you to fuck me again. I want you to be in me. Now . I love your strenght, Roger, as much as I love you being submissive.I simply want it all. »
It was even more intense than on the desert island and you had my wrists pinned above my head. I wanted your strenght , I got your strenght. You made me scream, and it wasn^t of pain. I gave myself to you and I was beggingfor your cock, i was begging for you to fuck me harde rand you showed a part of yourself I had never seen before when your almost black eyes darted into mine and you growled « You are mine. You are all mine. »
I came with yet another scream and surely everyone was awake now. I didn^t care.
In the morning you were gone but there was a message on my mobile that made me laugh hard.
*dreams and wishes, part whatever: make Nick scream and beg. SCORE! 
I love you, precious. PS : you^ll probably need a pillow today, har har. *

*you^ll probably be spanked for this !!!* I typed, grinning broadly.
I was welcomed by three chuckling friends when I entered the kitchen.
„ Good morning, Nicholas!“ Conrad smirked. „Want coffee? Tea? Scones? A pillow?“
« Skip the tea » I shrugged.
„I would never have guessed that you are willing to go that far. When will we see you collared, huh?“ Sonya giggled.
„ As if you never have your man fucking you. And you are still not collared.“ I sticked my tongue out to her.
„ Well, fucking his arse is my privilege“ she winked. „ But maybe I will ask Roger to do that next time.“
„Surely would be a pleasure to look at!“ I grinned. My, those new options….

Chapter Text

Shortly after the first Velvet-experience as Master and slave, not even a month after we have been to Scotland, Carl died of Pneumonia and Conrad followed not much later.He took an overdose of insuline and sleeping pills to be with the love of his life again.
Of course we all were shocked and sad, but Saffron and you suffered the most. The girl couldn^t get over the fact that she never came to visit them,like she had promised.
Much to our surprise we inherited the house in Glencoe and you went there with Saffron for almost two weeks, to sort things and to take care of their belongings. When you came back you were a very strong unit that can only be described as close friendship, very close friendship ,and the difference in age just didn^t matter.
This was the most intense, most sad thing what had happened in the years between 2007 and now, but of course a lot of other things changed and developed.
2008 was the year of changes and developments, actually
Amber and Danny broke up shortly before her 18th birthday and she started a model career just like her mom.
Rufus and Dom moved to Spain and opened their own cocktail bar. Funny enough the incredible Mister Ralph Taylor aka Miss Rio fell in love with one of our roadies after a concert in Cardiff.
We brought out a new album , followed by a world tour , and there wasn^t much time to deepen the Master/slave – part of our relationship. Actually, there was not much space for anything SM in 2008. There was only one very intense expierence at our second wedding anniversary, at the day after, to be exact. Finally the idea of a very private party at the Velvet worked out.
It came the way you like it. Totally out of the blue.
We celebrated the *official* anniversary with friends and family at John^s and Gela^s , in the decadent dining room with the size of a ballroom where we had the party for the record signing, what seemed to be ages ago.
« Can you believe that Amber is 18 now ? Goodness, I^m old!“ Charlie sighed.
„For me it was more Lulah^s first school day what made me feel quite old, man. Do you remember when we first met?“ You smiled by the memory. „ That chubby tiny thing that almost has kissed me to death?“
„ She wasn^t the only LeBon working pretty hard on that, huh?“ Si grinned and I had to chuckle when you two hugged each other and the singer winked at me over your shoulder, well informed about the planned party tomorrow.
There were other chubby arms that reached out for you now, as Nayeli , at her mother^s hand, makes a few shaky steps towards you.
„ Look who^s gonna run with uncle Roger pretty soon!“ Son laughed.
„Aaaw, first you have to cuddle with uncle Roger right now!“ You lifted her up and I almost died laughing when she buried her nose in MY curve.
I was so glad, Roger, so glad to see you laughing again, to see you happy again.
After the death of Carl and Con you had secluded yourself so much that I started to worry it could be a depression.
The tour helped a lot. Your way to deal with very emotinal things hadn’t changed at all, you needed something to do, something to concentrate on. We were actually still touring,but we had planned it the way it fitted best with our family lifes. A few weeks, then home, a few weeks ,home and so on, making sure we would be home for all family events such as birthdays and anniversaries.
To celebrate our anniversary was an important thing for us, as we had everyone around, people who we had missed and not seen for months in some cases.
Sonya lay an arm around me as you, carrying Nayeli in your arms, went to talk with Steve and Lizzie, who had just arrived.
„Happy anniversary, Master Nicholas“
„ Ah, Master Nicholas is still on vacation, you^re talking to Mister all pink jellybean right now.“ I chuckle.
„Hopefully he will be back tomorrow, because I^m really really upset that I have never met him yet.“
„Mrs Rodriguez, I think the one you desperately want to meet isn^t Master Nicholas, huh?“
„True!“ she laughed. „ Honestly, I still can^t believe it. You told me, Mike told me, even Roger himself told me, but I still can^t believe it. I really have to see it with my own eyes!“
„ You will!“ I promised, but I wasn^t as optimistic as I sounded.
It’s been mounths that we had anything more than just *plain sex*.
The bell in the living room was covered with dust, the hook unused…you had found other ways to burn off energy than the sub space, your addiction for running went quite obsessive and there^s not a day you weren^t in the gym.
I liked what it did to your body, oh yes, but I couldn^t wait to have that body all naked before me, on your knees, hands folded behind your neck…
„You there?“ Carlos waved a hand before my face and I snapped back.
„We have something planned for you, go and sit beside your husband, mate!“
It was a *now and then*-photo show and it started with what was probably the very first picture that shows us together, taken by the angel face demon herself in the pub. You wearing the *black velvet*-shirt, Levi^s and torn sneakers.
„You have beautiful eyes, Nick“ you whispered in my ear
„And you have the most beautiful smile, my Roger.“
« It^s been a hard year so far, precious. I think we should go to Wales. I think I need a time off , I think my brain needs a time off and I think right now that being a brainless slave thing is exactly the cure I need.“
I pulled you close, all happy with this confession because I had my doubts. Now I knew that it would work out tomorrow.
„ Soon, pretty boy, soon“
When we were dancing together later, Saffron joined us and we held her in the middle.
„Do you think we can go to Scotland again , Otchee? Remember that lad, Benjamin?“ she winked.
„ Benjamin, aha! The one with the curly hair and the freckles?“
„Exactly. He hung out with Con and Carl a lot, did you know that? He has mailed me pics…oh, and he plays drums, cool, eh? Carl taught him. »
« Ha ! Then tell Benjamin that Pearl is crap ! »
« I already did.. the tomtoms are too small and the…what? »
You and I were laughing like mad and you gave her a noisy wet kiss.
„Saffy, I love you! I love you very much ! «


I stood at the doorway watching you sleeping, allowing me to be all in pink jellybean mode.
It was a great party and we had ended it in bed, your wrists fixed at the headboard and your legs on my shoulders.
I had left early for an important appointment and was somehow glad that you were still sleeping and I didn’t have to lie to you about where I had been.

You looked so young this morning, midday, rather, it^s hard to believe that you were close to the big fifty.
I wondered if you were afraid of getting older, if this was the reason why you became so exessive about sports after the two scots died.
You quit smoking, too and you tried to be vegetarian like me.
« Bloody machine » I said quietly, smiling to myself before I turned to get you a coffee.
Plenty of time left to be all cuddly and cosy here, and I crawled into bed beside you to wake you up with a tender kiss.
« Good morning my handsome husband. Coffee?“
„Ah, precious, you^re an angel“
Oh well, let^s see if you^d still say this in a few hours.

„I need your help. Would you come out for a minute?“ Simon sounded breathless as he stood at our door in the evening and I secretly admired his actor skills
« Sure, wha… » *Click*, cuffed by a broadly grinning singer in a split second. I^m pretty sure he had trained that.
« Simon, what… »
« Shut up and follow me, we don’t want to attract notice here, huh ? »
You turned to me and cringed when you saw leathercollar and leash in my hands.
« Go ! » I blurted.
We entered Charlie^s car, you and me in the back seat, and the moment Si drove off I unlocked the silver collar to replace it with the leather one. Your eyes fell close and you breathed heavily, trying to accomodate to the situation.
I pulled you close , holding you against my chest, one hand in your hair. No hair pulling, just a reminder, a promise for the things to come.
« Hello my pretty boy. Your Master has missed you. Very much. »
Oh, that sweet whimper of your^s, telling me * I want, I^m just not fully in it yet*
You would have all the time in the world to get in, probably more time than you thought, more time than you wanted.

Everyone kept quiet when we stepped into the velvet, you were blindfolded, still fully clothed and cuffed and I was pleased to see that all preparations had been made and all the people I had invited were there.
Simon led you under the suspension point and fixed your wrists, arms over head.
„Whatever happens, I^m near. Always. Keep that in mind, yeah? No cupcakes needed, just say my name. Trust me, Roger.“ I kissed you deeply.
„I do“
« You^ll need all the trust you have, pretty boy ! » Bang, out of the blue, two hard slaps in the face and I wish I could have seen your eyes in this moment, but you needed to be blindfolded for what I had planned.
Today you^d be marked as mine, but not before everyone else here will have marked you in one way or another.
We^d start with some pain.
I gave a sign and two men came over. One unbuttoned your shirt while the other unbluckled your belt and opened the zipper of your jeans, four hands on you, touching you and you had no clue who it was..
At least one of them had never touched you before, he probably never had touched a man before, not like this, and I was quite surprised when he didn^t hesitate to pinch your nipples once they were exposed.
The second man had you out of the jeans by now, underpants still in place.
Because you were still cuffed it was impossible to get your shirt off and I held my breath when man one pulled out a knife. He placed the blade flat on your chest, moving it slowly over one nipple, then over the other to let you feel what he was holding and what he would use on you now.
I was quite impressed how calm you were.
You stood perfectly still,your ribcage moved with slow, deep breaths and you not even winced when he cut the first sleeve open, from the wrist to the collar.The fabric fell off as he did the same with the other sleeve, and again he pressed the blade flat to your skin and moved downwards until the steel had reached your waistband. Man two hooked a finger in it, pulling slightly to hold it away from your skin, and the one with the knife cut your pants open, exposing you completely in one swift elegant move.
Only when the tip of the knife touched your half hard cock you winced a wee bit. The ultimate mind fuck.
„ You^ll better hold absolutely still now“ he growled in your ear and the blade made it^s way between your legs and up again on your backside until both halfs of what had been very nice boxer shorts fell to the floor.
The people here hadn^t seen you naked for quite a while and I saw a few open mouthes at the sight of your trained muscled body.
Sonya came near now, kissing man two, who was, of course, Carlos.
Man one winked at me, putting the knife away.
„Thank you, Dylan“ I said quietly when he passed me to go back to the bar.
He would play another important role later and he did a very good job this morning.
Now it^s Son^s turn, and she smiled broadly as she stood in front of you, looking you up and down,
„Hello there. Been a while, sweetie!“ She hooked a finger in the metal ring of the solid leather collar. „What’s that, hm? Have you been turned into a golden retriever, sweetie? I told you it would fit you, and I was right. Oh yeah, was I right!“ She squeezed a nipple between her sharp nails and you yelped. „Aaaw, how cute! Almost like a little puppy! I brought something for you, darling, something that will make you scream.“ She held the bullwhip directly under your nose. „ Can you smell it? Good, hm? I love the smell of leather. I love the sound of leather on skin. I love the welts showing up . But most of all I love the wonderful noises you make under the whip, hon, and I haven’t heard them for a very long time!“
After yet another squeeze of your nipple she stepped behind you and not even a second later the whip left the first mark across your bum, then between your shoulder blades, precise and fast, she used your skin like a blank canvas, the whip was her brush and she painted a very beautiful abstract picture on your back. Fine lines, red dots and bloody welts showed up and the room was filled with your screams and moans, a symphony of pain to the rhythm of whipcracks.
You were wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. Your strong body so beautifully longing for the whip, your face beaming even under the blindfold
I gave her a sign when I saw that you were close to come, to come from the perfect dose of pain she provided and she stopped to stand right behind you, pulling your head back as she whispered „You know that you are not allowed to come, sweetie, yeah? We all want to hear you beg for it and we are not through with you yet, we haven’t even started! It will be a very long night for pretty boy, promised`“ With that she made space for her husband.
Carlos flipped a bottle of lube open right in front of your face, and with no doubt you recognized that sound and the smell coming out. „ Remember how we made you howl?“ he asked, his voice dark with lust and I almost laughed . Yet again he sounded much like Antonio Banderas.
Antonio put the medical gloves on before he pulled the ginger plug out of his pocket, which was neatly wrapped in paper tissues. He unpacked it slowly, making sure that you could smell it while he did.
One of his latex cladded hands reached for your cock, giving it a few intense strokes. « Ask for it. Ask your very dear friend Carlos to push that spicy plug into your ass ! »
Wow, the man has his dominant moments, huh ?
« Push it in, Antonio. Push it in. Please!“ I saw that grin of your^s and Carlos had to turn away, stifling a laugh.
He grinned at me, took a deep breath and faced you again.
„So you think this is all fun here, yeah? You know what? I think I have a nice topping for that plug! Mona, would you bring the tabasco sauce?“
„…sorry. I^m sorry. No, please ! »
« Ah, that sounds much better ! » he lubed his fingers and reached behind you, standing so close that your chest^s were nicely pressed togetherand you moaned into the fabric of his shirt as he worked you open, rubbing himself against you.
When he had pushed the plug in finally, he grabbed your hair, pulled your head back and kissed you greedily.
« And now you will apologize properly, pretty boy, yeah ? » he growled as he let go of your mouth and reached to uncuff you.
Sonya beside me gasped and took my hand.
Without any hesitation you dropped to your knees and your very dear friend Carlos opened his pants. With his hand in your hair again he buried himself into the warm wetness of your throat.
„Aaah, that^s good! You are such a talented cocksucker! Oooh yes!“
By now the ginger must have taken it^s full effect, That knowledge in combination with the incredibly erotic scene before my eyes aroused me to no end.
The puerto-rican pulled out and spilled his load all over your naked chest, like he did back then at Madame Claire^s, and my sick, perverted mind enjoyed the sight of sweaty, cum covered skin. YOUR sweaty, cum covered skin.
Carlos left you there on the floor, on your knees, going back to the bar and I had to smile when he and Simon clinged glasses before the singer made his way to the suspension point you were kneeling under.
He had brought the walking cane.
The noise when he pulled the thin crop out made you wince.
« Hello pretty one, it^s me ! Do me a favour, get up and turn, You know I like to see those welts on you, yeah ? »
You were a bit shaky when you did as being told, but you let him fix you to the wooden ring without resistance, your wonderfully decorated back to us.
Unlike the first time Charlie wasn’t afraid to whip the crop across your ass with full force, making you jump.Another hard stroke on the backside of yout thights and you screamed. Soon thights and ass were covered with fine lines, your screams had turned into whimpers.
« Ah, lovely ! Your master told me that this thing here matches perfectly with the ginger, and according to this delicious puddle of precum you are leaving on the floor here he^s pretty darn right, huh? But hey, Carlos had a very inspiring story to tell when we were here for the first time, remember? I bet he won^t puke this time.“
This wasn^t planned. I had asked simon to fuck you, but he said that he can’t do this with others watching. Looked like he had found a compromise!
I almost died when he pulled the plug out and bent for what he had just called a * delicious puddle*, dipping his fingers in.
„A taste of your craving, dear?“
Goodness, I was so hard it hurt and wetted my pants as he let you suck at his fingers.
You were all gone by now, deep deep down into sub mode, slave mode, rather, and I had to get up, walk around you and look into your face as our singer started to fuck you with the grip of the cane.
„Having fun here, pretty boy?“ I whispered, letting my fingers trail over the sweaty skin of your chest, over the dried cum of Carlos.
„Yes! Oh yes! Thank you! Thank you , Master, thank you so much!“
Ah, fuck, I had to remove that blindfold, I had to see your eyes!
They were beautiful, your eyes, just like I had thought. Dark and wet and fogged with lust any I locked mine with them. A little of a plan changing here as I slapped you, never breaking eye contact, and Charlie got it in an instanr, fucking you harder .
„More please“
« I …please... please let me come, Master, please ! »
« Permission given , my greedy pretty slave »
« Thank you, Ma….aaaaah ! »
I held you until the shaking was over, pulling the blindfold back in place.
We were not done yet. We were far away from being done.
Simon and I, as the good team we are, didn^t need words. He uncuffed you and clicked the leash into the metal ring of the slave collar.
You would bever ask for it in that state , but I knew you needed a break and something to drink.
Blind and on all fours you followed me to the bar. God, you were so beautyful, so overwhelmingly beautiful!
„Ladies and gentlemen“ I announced, trying hard to keep the emotional shakiness out of my voice. * I want you all to share your drinks with my pretty slave.“
Yasmin was the first to glide from her stool, taking a good mouthful of her white wine before she did.
She passed the liquid over in a very intense kiss. There were tears in her eyes when you quietly said „ Thank you, Yasmin“
Mona was next. She gave you some water.
Even Dylan joined in with more water.
From Son you got more wine, from Carlos some of his special mix and Mike shared his beer. A quite long line of people bent down to kiss you, to pass all different sorts of liquid to you.
You recognized them all, thanking them by name and once everyone had given you some of their drinks I led you back under the suspension point to let you kneel there in the perfect slave position, legs spread, hands on your thights with palms up.
Time for round two.
Mike and I had to chuckle when Jay sat beside you on the small podest under the wooden ring and reached out a hand to stroke your hair.
„ Remember when you made fun of me for being gagged? I was thinking of revenge ever since. And my, am I happy that your master lets me fix that on you!“ The ball gag matched perfectly with the collar, I have to say.
Jared was next.
« Oh well, talking about revenge, my dear. » he grinned, placing a chair on the podest before he grabbed the ring of your collar and pulled you up. „ Would you be so kind and lie over my lab?“
I bet no one was more surprised than you by the force he hit you with. Your noises muffled by the gag, drool dripping on the floor, the room filled with the wonderful sound of a palm on bare skin over and over again.
I had forgotten that Jar is a switcher, not a sub, and that he^s probably quite used to this.
„Good rhythm, huh? You like a good rhythm , don^t you?“
I think he made it almost exactly as long as you had spanked him back then and we all had to stifle a laugh when he was finished, rolling his eyes and blowing his palm.
« That^s one pretty firm ass, man ! » he chuckled as he joined us at the bar again. „ Hard like steel!“
Now it’s close to the grand final , the angel face demon pulled her dress over her head and put on the monster strap –on. Darren almost swooned when he saw his idol like this, all naked with a rubber penis.
Being a model, Yassie was used to be naked in front of others and she was ever so confident when she crossed the room to stand right in front of you. You looked quite desolate now and you barely moved as Yas started to fuck you. You were totally spaced out and în another world, exactly were I wanted to have you.
When she came all over you, , almost everyone here had marked you in his or her own way.
The welts of Son^s bullwhip, Carlos^ dried cum on your chest, the fine lines of Simon^s crop, drool dripping out of your mouth because of the gag j^Jay had fixed on you, your ass cheeks rosy from Jared^s palm and yout skin glistening from Yasmin^s liquids.
And then there was Dylan again, holding yet another sharp instrument.
„Lie down, pretty boy. Lie down on your back¨“ I sat behind you, your head in my lab.
„So many people has left their marks on you, my pretty one. Who should know to whom you belong now ? I think we need something that remains. »
You didn^t even wince when Dylan switched on the tattoo needle.

Chapter Text

It took about an hour.
When Dylan was done, I removed your blindfold, stood above you and marked you once more.
With my cum. In your face.

It was all dark and there were a lot of bodies in this bed here, but I sensed immediatly that one body was missed.
I left the bed carefully,not to wake the others, and went into the main room of the suite.
There you were. I had to laugh so hard I cried. Well, so much about not waking the others, as one after another appeared in the doorway, wondering what^s going on.
„Good morning, my pretty pretties! « you beamed. « Pancakes ? I have no clue where we are, but they have a very very good room service, I tell you ! »

We were at the Hyatt London, the only hotel i had found to have ultra king size beds.
I wonder if they are calling this suite the orgy-room secretly…
Right after I came in your face, we had wrapped you in a blanket and Charlie has carried you in his car. Followed by Son and Carlos we drove directly to the hotel. We earned a few strange looks as he carried you through the lobby, but those hotels staffs are used to a lot, I think.
You were like in trance when we washed you , the new tattoo neatly covered, and you fell asleep as soon as your head had hit the pillow, hold by all of us.
Yasmin, Simon, Sonya and Carlos.
And me, of course.
Now you sat crosslegged on the carpet, naked, smiling like a little boy at christmas, pancakes all around you.
« My god ! How many portions did you order ? » Yassie laughed.
« Ten. Want some ?They are good. Not as good as mine, though, but good. »
« Our pancake orgies are legendary » I grinned as I sat beside you.
« Are there some with banana ? There^s some chocolate sauce on your chin, luv. » we kissed gently.
« Carlos, go see if there^s some champagne in the fridge, Works fine with pancakes“ I said and soon the others joined us.
Six naked people sitting on the floor, sipping champagne and eating, at 4 in the morning. We are crazy, aren’t we?
It was Simon who started to talk about the happenings first. „How are you, Roger? Is…is everything all right? Is it…it wasn^t too much, was it?“
„Well“ you swallowed down your last bite. „ I^m fine. I think. Can hardly remember any details right now. I^m a little high here, you know? It^s always like that after …after very intense sessions. Will take me a while to be back down to earth.“
„Can I see it?“ he asked quietly. „I haven^t really seen it yet“
Yassie let out a sweet little whimper when you stood up and Simon was on his knees before you, removing the band aid to watch closely what Dylan^s needle had created on your skin.
A blood red gothic letter near your groin, half above your hip bone, intertwined with a fine long line of musical notes. An *N*, of course. And only if you watch as close as Simon did right now, the apostrophe and the little *s* behind can be seen.
„Oh.“ Charlie said. „ Oh…do you…the notes…do you..“
„I know. I know, Si.“you dropped down to your knees, flung your arms around him and you both cried.
« What is it ? » Carlos wondered.
„OH MY GOD!“ Yassie blurted. „Nick! It^s save a prayer, right ? »
« It is » I nodded. « and mine has the notes of *beautiful*. I never would have thought… »
« YOUR`S ? » you interupted
„Oh, I forgot…you haven^t seen it yet » I smiled « I met with Dylan in the morning, you were still sleeping.. »
„Would you all leave us alone for a minute, please? » you asked and the friends left respectfully.
« Get up, precious, let me see it »
You tore the band aid away and laughed quietly when I winced.
« Nick Rhodes ! Why did you do that ? You hate tattoos ! On you, at least.You hate pain…you… »
« It^s Rhodes-Taylor, please. I did it because I love you. I did it because I want this to be foreve, because. I^m your’s as much as you are mine, Roger. And iI don’t hate tattoos in general. Only sensless ones. And those make a lot of sense, if you ask me.“
« You^re mine as much as I^m your^s ? I can^t see an apostrohe and an s here, Mister Rhodes-Taylor ! »
„Oh well, my pretty one, there has to be a little bit of symbolism, huh?“


We were almost asleep when there was a knock at the door.
Touring again after the short break, the day had been filled with interviews, the soundcheck, the concert and a few drinks at the hotel bar with some fans.
We had decided to go to bed early, and it wasn^t even midnight by now.
„Have you ordered something“ I asked sleepily.
„Naah. I go checking.“ You slipped in a bathrobe and went to open the door.
It was the singer, holding a bottle of vodka.
„Hi. Wanna get drunk with me? I miss Yasmin and the girls; I think I^m getting old. And I wanna get drunk with my friends!“
„Yeah, come in, old man.“ you chuckled and I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, knowing quite well that getting drunk with Simon means a very long night.
We talked a lot, laughed a lot and drunk a lot until Charlie had the brilliant idea to watch the pay channel.
„You don^t want to see gay porn, huh?“ you giggled.
„Believe it or not, I^ve seen it before. Life!“he grinned.
„ And I tell you that life is much better! Ask your wife, Gay porn is crap. Bad actors making very strange noises.“ I laughed.
„Let^s not forget about the very creative dialogues. I bet there are not more than ten words in one movie.“ You pointed out.
„ Ah, I don^t mind.I^m not such a talker when it comes to sex, and i go pretty well with the one sentence *fuck me harder, Simon* »
« Yeah, I remember that » you winked.
„Yassie still refuses backdoor access.“ Charlie sighed
« Oh man, can we please change the subject ? i don^t wanna talk to you about that when Yasmin isn^t around » I felt really uncomfortable, like I^d betray Yas.
« There^s actually something I wanted to ask you, and I needed to be a little bit drunk for that… » he muttered and when I saw him blushing I knew we should stop it here.
« Simon.. » I started,
« No, wait, please. It^s not about Yasmin and I don^t want to have sex with you now without her or something…I just…you do remember her conditions ? »
« Pretty well, Simon. She wanted Nick to fuck you first. » you said, matter of factly.
„Yeah“ he nodded and his blush darkened. He took a sip of vodka before he continued. « Well, she said she wanted me to be fucked by a real cock, and Nick, I^m sorry, as much as I love you, you are my best friend and…no. »
« That^s exactly what he said » you grinned, pointing at me.
« Well » Charlie said quietly. « That leaves it to you, Roger, if you ask me »
« Simon John Charles LeBon ! Are you asking me to fuck you ? Seriously ? » your eyebrows almost disappeared from your forehead.
« Yeah, I think that^s what I^m doing here. And I…sorry…er..I should go to bed.Think about it. Good night¨“
„He^s such a coward sometimes“ you laughed when he had left the room as if stung by an adder.
„History repeating. He had to get drunk to tell you he wants to fuck you, now he had to get drunk to ask you to fuck him…funny, huh?“I pulled you close.
„Funny? I don^t know. Odd, rather. Really odd.“ You snuggled up against me.
„I never have thought about that.“
« Me neither. But it makes sense » I thought loudly. « Though it wasn^t Simon I had in mind when I first thought you fucking another man won^t be such a bad idea.“
„You thought about me fucking another man? How very interesting!“ you chuckled. „ And what other man would you like me to fuck, Mister Rhodes-Taylor?“
„Carlos. And it was actually Son^s idea. Glencoe, remember? When you fucked me ? »
« Oh, yeah,I do ! You were pretty loud ! » you kissed me gently. « I loved that ! »
« Someone should tell Simon that you can be quite a pain in the arse, my Roger. »

« Amber is here ! » someone blurted the moment I picked up the phone.
« Huh ? «
« It^s Michael , Nick. Amber^s here. I thought you should know!“
„Amber is where?“
„In the Velvet, Nick. And she looks pretty darn hot, I tell you! She’s 18, I can’t throw her out, but maybe …maybe someone should be by her side, huh?“
„Rooog!“ I called. „Roger! We have to go to the Velvet! Now!“
You came out of the bathroom, a towel around your hips, rubbing your hair dry with another one.
„What? I^m not…“
„Amber^s there. And it^s audition night. And I don^t think she should watch that alone, at least. »
„ I totally agree!“ You put on the famous leather pants, saying „ Let^s make it look like we haven’t been called, she would be mad at us and Mike.“

The bar was pretty packed, but you spotted the eldest LeBon-daughter in an instant.
„Holy fuck!“ you muttered and I nearly laughed out loud.
« Jeez ! The full dose, huh ? » i chuckled. We pretended not to have seen her, checking who^s at the podest right now to be watched. Mona and Dylan. Oh well, she has seen fangs before, Amber, hasn’t she? The whip, in turn, was another thing.
It was like iIwould hear her gasping when Dylan unrolled the monstreous bull whip.

You had the same thought as you called « Hey Amb ! » and we made our way to the bar.
„Hi ya!“ Amber grinned, blushing slightly.
„What are you doing here, Miss Lebon?“ I smiled, trying to sound as casual as possible.
« Looking for my inner Lady Heather ! Good griefs, will he really use that…thing on her?“ she almost jumped when he did.
„Er…are you sure you wanna see this?“ you laughed.
„Well, I^m curious.“ Amber shrugged.“I have been curious for quite a long time, you know? Goodness…how do you see that she still likes it ? it doesn’t sound like she does!“
« Look in her face, Amb. Try to blend the screams out and look into her face“ I said quietly and the young woman..I still want to say *girl*, but she is an adult woman now, huh?...stared for a while.
« She looks…happy. Beaming » she finally whispers. « But why is she screaming if she likes it ? »
« Because it helps…to let go with the flow.“ You explained.
„Why don’t you have such a thing ? I haven’t seen such a… » she stopped and went completely pink.
„Amber Rose!“ I blurted. „Come with me!“ I dragged her into one of the playrooms. Funny enough it’s the one with the chains dangling from the ceiling and the armchair ….
You followed right behind and neatly closed the door.
„Er..I really wanna see that..“ she stutters.
„ And I really wanna know what you know about the things we use and WHY you know it, Amber!“ Goodness, I was angry! My, was I angry.
„Er…we went through your stuff…while you were on tour.Me and Gemma.When we looked after the plants.“
„Aha. And why do you think this trunk was locked, girl? You have never learned to respect one^s privacy, huh ? » have I mentioned that I was angry ?
« We were curious, we wanted to know what^s in there, and it was easy to open …with a hair pin.“
„Fuck, Amber! Why the hell did you do that?
I didn^t care much about the *instruments* they must have seen there. It^s more about the photos. Very explicit photos. Thank god I never made some with her parents in!
„As i said…