“Hm?” Logan turned his head away from the novel he was deep in to find a unique sight at his doorway. “Do you need something, Patton?”
Now that he thinks about it, seeing any of the others at his doorway was a strange experience; he was left to his own devices most of the time. If anyone did need him, he’d simply be summoned in.
“Actually, yeah,” Logan studied the aspect as he spoke. His demeanor seemed a bit more uncomfortable than usual, his shoulders down with one hand rubbing the opposite arm. His voice, compared to the usual loud and perky sound, had a tense calmness to it. Clearly, he was here with some sort of dilemma.
“Pat,” Logan thought through his next actions carefully, planning two steps ahead like always. He doesn’t want to upset the emotional one any more than he already is. “I’m not sure how much help I can provide you. Perhaps Roman would be more suitable for this?”
Roman was usually who Patton would go to, after all. Though, even if Logan isn’t very understanding when it comes to feelings, he would much rather Patton come to him more often ( Roman is good temporary help, but his messages are often too… fantastical . Pat will surely end up let down eventually ).
“As much as I love Roman’s help - and I really do appreciate it!” Patton interrupted himself. “I think I need a logical approach. I’m trying to understand something.”
“That is my job,” Logan smiled, closing the historical book he was reading beforehand and motioning Patton inside. The aspect looked around awkwardly, never being in Logan’s room until now, before choosing to sit on the edge of the gray colored bed.
“Lo, your room is so boring! Where’s the color?” To Logan, this appeared to be Patton trying to lighten the mood, something the father figure did often in times of self-stress. Personally, he just wanted to get to the point.
“The simplicity is so I won’t get distracted. Now, what’s your dilemma?” While Logan appreciated the history of a lot of artistic interior decorating, he found it unnecessary if all he would be using his room for is sleeping and reading. There was no one to impress, really.
Patton began to tug at the cat hoodie tied around his neck, something Logan had never noticed him do before in such a context ( that may just be because seeing Pat like this was quite rare ). “Could you explain what I am?”
“Pardon?” Even Logan knows that Patton is a lot smarter than he seems. Surely he doesn’t need an explanation of ‘what he is.’
“Just-” the side paused, piecing his words together while folding his hands in his lap. “Go through it with me, please? What I am and what I do for Thomas.”
Logan raised a brow in confusion at the request, but he assumed it was leading somewhere and didn’t protest. “Well Patton, you are labeled as Thomas’s morality, meaning you decide what is and/or feels right and wrong.”
“However,” Logan continued, sticking his index finger up in the air. “What really makes these moral decisions is Thomas’s emotions, therefore you encompass that much more than just being his moral compass. You are most of his feelings of joy, sadness, love, etcetera. Even anger and fear, at times. Many of those feelings could also be caused by the other sides - especially fear with Virgil around - but you are the general sense of emotion."
Patton let out a deep sigh. Logan couldn’t quite describe it, but it sounded as if the side was longing for something. “Does love include being in love?”
“I would assume so. Why?” Logan watched as Patton stood up from the bedside, seemingly uncomfortable.
“Y’know a while ago, when we all went to my room?” When Logan nodded at the question, Patton put a hand to his face, his other hand once again tugging at his cat hoodie ( Just a hypothesis, but perhaps he was picking up nervous habits by hanging around Virgil too much? ).
“Well,” Morality continued, “a bit after I started thinking about Thomas’s past relationships, and-” he sucked in a sharp breath. Logan once again nodded, urging Patton to continue. “I have loved all the people that Thomas has dated, really! And I still do! But I don’t know if it’s the same way he did.”
Logan thought for a moment, deciding to stand up from his chair as well. He didn’t really enjoy sitting for too long. “So you’re suggesting that you’ve never had romantic feelings for anyone?”
Patton’s shoulders raised for a moment, before lowering down in what looked like defeat. “I’ve never been in love with anyone Thomas has. Is that bad? Does that mean he was never in love?”
Logan actually laughed a bit at that. “Patton, I am sure that’s not the case.” He stepped towards the confused side, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Think of it this way: while your emotions fill in a lot of what is needed in ‘being in love,’ it is likely that the rest of it - the romantic parts you are missing - are covered by Roman.”
“But how much can Roman actually cover?” Patton’s brows furrowed as he stared directly at Logan with worried eyes. “Roman is creativity, passion, imagination, inspiration, but is he really Romance?”
Even Logan didn’t quite know the answer to that question. “Well you have to consider the fact that we aren’t the only parts of Thomas, and I’m not even talking about the sides he doesn’t know about. Humans are complicated beings, and we can’t possibly fill in all of the gaps.”
“You think it’s just instinct?”
“More or less. While some of Thomas’s natural instincts are covered by us, like Virgil’s fight or flight response, it can be safe to assume that the atoms and chemical reactions in his brain are doing much more than we could ever know.”
Patton stood still for a moment with an unrecognizable expression, before suddenly giggling. “I guess I was just overreacting, huh Logan?” He had his usual perky voice back, but something was bothering Logan about it. ( It was too easy, too quick. Pat wouldn’t have switched back to his usual persona so quickly, unless… )
“Are you not satisfied with the answer I gave you, Or is something else bothering you?”
“No no, your answer was perfectly logical! ” Logan simply raised a brow at Patton’s comment. “It’s just- well-”
“Yes?” Logan encouraged. It’s not that he didn’t enjoy helping Patton ( teaching and explaining things is rather satisfying in any case ), but he really wanted to get back to reading that book.
Patton glanced at the hand still resting on his shoulder ( was it making Pat uncomfortable? He usually like physical reassurance) and sighed for probably the hundredth time. “Is it okay if I say I’m not ready to talk about it?”
While this certainly tugged at Logan’s ever-growing curiosity, he supposed some things are better left up to patience. “Of course, Patton. Metaphorically speaking, my door is always open.”
“Thanks, Logan. The same goes for mine, obviously!” The emotional side smiled as he added, “Both figuratively and literally!”
Logan couldn’t help but smile as Patton left the room. All in a day’s work.
It wasn’t until later that night, after finishing the book he was reading, that he realized Patton never truly answered if he ever had romantic feelings for someone.
( I worry that he still thinks he can ).