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The Unscripted Humor of My Hero Academia

Chapter Text

A young ten-year-old Izuku Midoriya was aware of his mother's affair with her lover, Toshinori Yagi. He didn't know what warranted his mother's affair, but every time he appeared, Izuku had to hide in the closet.

One afternoon, his mother, Inko, was stunned when she learned that Izuku's father, Hisashi was arriving home early from his trip overseas. She panicked, knowing that Yoshinori spent the night and her husband was minutes away.

"Toshi, you have to hide in the closet with Icchan for a while," said the worried Inko.

"Why does Izuku have to hide? Would it make it more suspect," questioned Toshinori.

"It's only suspicious when the boy should be in school right now," barked Inko. She was displaying her worry on her face. The mistaken regret of sleeping through the alarm and forgetting to take Izuku to school. She couldn't pull the sick act on Izuku. He was horrible at that. She turned to Toshinori. "Just hide in here for a few minutes with Icchan. I will think of something to get Hisashi away for awhile."

She pulled her son and her lover into the closet. She closed the door, showing her hands in prayer. "Please don't make a sound, Icchan. I promise to make it up to you." She blew a kiss to the boys and left out of the room.

Toshinori leaned his back against the wall. Meanwhile, Izuku was playing his handheld game. Their eyes meet.

"It's kinda dark in here, isn't it," questioned Izuku

Nervously rubbing the back of his head, Toshinori agreed with the boy. "Yeah, it is kinda dark, isn't it?"

"So, Toshi Oji-san. Interested in buying a baseball," asked Izuku calmly.

He looked at the boy. "Oh? No thanks, dear." Toshinori was worried as he could hear the sounds of Hisashi's voice in the home. The last thing he was thinking about was a boy's request to buy a baseball.

Especially if it was the son of his lover.

"Oh, oji-san. I think you are interested in buying a baseball." Izuku displayed a smirk. Toshinori's stomach churned as he saw the emerald child holding the baseball in hand.

"Funny thing about balls, oji-san. They can be thrown. They can be caught. They can make lots a noise."

"I get it. I get it."

"Can be in a certain person's mouth."

Toshinori gripped his hands. He reached into his wallet. "How much," he asked the little extortionist. With the position he was in, he was in no room to question.

"$10...each." Izuku grabbed another ball, holding one in each hand. "Can't have one ball without the other. You should know that right." The boy winked. "They like to travel together."

"$20," he questioned Izuku. "That's highway robbery."

Izuku swayed his finger. "Highway robbery is screaming my father's name and say you are a robber. Highway robbery is getting caught and going to jail for this." He smiled, looking at the ceiling. "Amazing how eastern Asian countries can legally do this. Take notes, America!"

"Fine, fine." Toshinori reached into his wallet and gave him $20. "Take the money!"

The adorable cinnamon roll smiled. "God bless you, sir! God bless everyone!"

A few days have passed since his transaction with Inko's son. Despite that debacle with him and the fear of being caught, Inko swore that it wasn't going to happen again. Once he felt safe, he returned to the Midoriya home.

Inko made up to him by cosplaying as a cat maid. It quickly undampened his spirits.

"Meow," purred Toshinori. "Do you care take care of what happened last time?"

"Like, nyaa!" Inko swayed her hips to the excited Toshinori. "Don't worry, sweetheart. Hisashi is at work and Izuku is hanging with his friend. We should be good for the…." Her eyes widened when she saw her husband's car approaching the driveway.

"Inko, what in the hell," he said to her.

Biting her nails, she panicked. "I didn't think he would come home for lunch." She panicked, grabbing Toshinori and putting him inside of the closet. Her hands were in a praying position. "I'm sorry, baby. I promise that it shouldn't be long." She gave him a kiss and closed the door.

Sweetie, I didn't know you were to be home this soon.

Why am I dressed like this? Just cosplaying for a competition, dear.

You know I like to dress from time to time.

As Toshinori pressed his ear to the door, he heard the sound of the handheld video game.

"It's kinda dark in here, isn't it?"

He turned to see Izuku playing the video game. He had his headphones on, bobbing to the music.

"Icchan," said the startled Toshinori. "I thought you were at a friend's."

Izuku removed the headphones. "Kacchan got an ear infection. I came back home early."

"What did you see," he asked Izuku.

"Enough to say that those pairs of balls might need a strong baseball bat to go along with this," said Izuku.

Toshinori swallowed the lump in his throat. "Izuku, I know you can be a dear. But...are you blackmailing me?"

"Blackmailing?" His voice sounded innocent, as if he didn't know the meaning of the word. "All I wanted was to give you a sturdy bat. Can't perform well with having a bat to increase your endurance."

"How much, Izuku?"

Izuku put a finger to his lip. "I am thinking $20."


"Hmm, hmm."

Toshinori reached into his wallet and gave the emerald cinnamon roll $20. "Take the money!"

The adorable cinnamon roll smiled. "God bless you, sir! God bless everyone!"

About a week had passed since the incident. He decided to give Inko time off so she could deal with her husband. Inko texted him, but without any avail. Honestly, he looked at it as sign of God to end this.

He was lounging in his bean bag chair when he got a knock at the door. He answered it and saw that it was Inko. She rushed into the home, giving Toshinori a strong surge of her affection.

How couldn't he turn her down?

The pair decided to go to a hotel. They were hopeful that they wouldn't be disturbed. Hisashi was working and Izuku was at school. There wasn't any way nothing could stop this.

She hesitantly looked up at him. The swirls of emotion she saw there made her gasp. Lust and desire. However, before she could ponder about it further, he yanked her to him and covered her mouth with his in a hungry kiss. As their lips crushed together, she felt like she was walking on air. It was magic, the way his lips connected with her. His mouth was so warm, the caress of his lips softer than hers could have imagined and she opened her mouth with a low moan.

Toshinori slowly removed her robe until she was completely naked. As he began to taste her nectar, he heard a knock at the door.

"For crying out loud," he groaned. He rushed to the door and saw that it was Hisashi. His eyes widened. He looked at Inko. "Why is your husband at the door?"

She panicked, she grabbed Toshinori and placed him inside of the closet. "Forgive me, Toshi. I will figure this out." She kissed him on the lips and closed the door.

Hisashi, baby. Why are you here?

So, you are here for a work meeting and one of the people saw me?

Oh, why am I here? You know this place as a spa and wanted to treat myself.

Dear, you know I love you enough to not hide things.

Yeah, dear. We can talk. I have all the time in the world for my hubby.

Toshi officially believed that this was a sign from God. He had enough of this. After this encounter, he decided that he was going to end it with Inko.

"It's kinda dark in here, isn't it?"

Toshinori bit into his lip. No way in hell is he…. The sound of the handheld video game was being played. The emerald cinnamon roll crossed his legs, sitting and nodding with his headphones.

"I think you need some protection in case those balls hurt you." He displayed to him his baseball glove. "Interested in buying a glove?"

Izuku completed the final level of his video game. The ten-year-old can finally relax. He hasn't heard from Toshinori since the encounter at the hotel. His mother finally gave up on Toshi and has talked about a second honeymoon with her husband.

Things were slowly being rightfully restored.

As he walked into the kitchen to get a drink, his father walked into the room. "Hey, Icchan. I was thinking since I have the weekend off, we should go and toss a few rounds with the ball."

The ten-year-old shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry, otou-san. I actually sold my gear."

His father tilted his head. "Oh? How?" His father wasn't surprised if his son traded his gear for candy, rocks, manga, or gaming cards. Typically pre-teen antics.

"Actually, otou-san, I made about $60."

"$60," the father retorted.

"Yes, sir," replied Izuku.

"Icchan, that's not right. That's very wrong," said Hisashi. "Who did you sell it to?"

"Kacchan," answered Izuku.

He sighed heavily. "Okay, get your coat. We are going to visit Kacchan to see if we can get our stuff back."

Hisashi phoned Mrs. Bakagou about the trade and she told him to come over to her house. Hisashi and Izuku arrived at the Bakagou residence. Hisashi rung the doorbell.

Mrs. Bakagou stepped out of door. "Afternoon, Icchan." She winked at his father. "Hisashi. I didn't think you were back in town."

He smiled. "Well, I will be here for quite a bit."

"Well," she said. "Shall you guys come in?"

Hisashi and Izuku entered the residence.

"Is your husband in town, Mitsuki?"

She stopped and paused. "Actually, he's not. He is out of town."

Hisashi raised his eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes, sir." Mrs. Bakugou turned to Izuku. "Say, Icchan. Kacchan is playing a neat game in his bedroom. A game where he is the troll of the closet. Shall you be the shining knight? I promise I will give you a treat."

"Agreed," interjected Hisashi as he winked.

Izuku bowed at the adults. He ran toward Katsuki's room where he was sitting in the closet. He heard his father and Katsuki's mother entered her room, closing the door.

Katsuki was sitting in the closet, holding a flashlight and reading his manga.

Izuku and Katsuki met eyes when he entered the closet.

"It's kinda dark in here, isn't it, Kacchan?"

"Don't you start that shit in here, Icchan," shouted Katsuki. "You fooled me the last time when you and your father came over. Not again."

The End!

Chapter Text

Hey, guys. [girlfriendoftheauthor] and Big Diesel here. Lately, my boyfriend and I have been expanding our horizons in different genres. One of which is humor. So, for this particular chapter for the series,  The Unscripted Humor of My Hero Academi a, we were going to put shorts in a short story. So a short story in a short story. So, in this particular chapter, we will call these Shorts in Shorts. We will feature small short stories featuring our lovable characters. Like we have said, this is new, so work with us. We do plan to work on our other stories soon. Real life is getting to us with my being in school and his returning to teach. So, enjoy! God bless!

Short Story #1

Izuku Midoriya and Katsuki Bakugou were playing in the playground at school. Izuku noticed that Katsuki was wearing a brand new watch. Being a curious Izuku, he decided to ask Katsuki a question.

"Hey, Kacchan. Nice watch," said Izuku.

"Thanks," answered Katsuki. "A Rolex to be exact."

"Did you get it for your birthday," he asked him.

He shook his head in disagreement. "No," replied Katsuki.

"A Christmas gift?"


Puzzled, Izuku asked. "You didn't steal it, did you?"

"What do you think I am, Icchan?"

"So, where did you get it from?"

Katsuki motioned Izuku to come closer so there weren't any prying ears. "Last evening, I watched my parents 'bumping uglies' in their room." He patted Izuku on his back. "Mom gave me the watch so I can get lost."

Izuku was simultaneously impressed and envious of Katsuki's plan of getting a watch. So, Izuku decided to get a watch for himself.

He decided to wait for tonight when his parents were going to make love. His father just returned from overseas and knew that his father would be interested in lovemaking with his wife. Izuku knew his father kept a collection of watches. So, he waited outside of their bedroom until he heard the sound of his parents' moans.

It wasn't until an hour later when he heard the unmistakable noises. His parents were making love. Ready for action, he rushed himself in the room. To his astonishing surprise, he saw his mother mounting his father with a strap-on.

"Okaa-san? Otou-san?"

"Izuku, what in the hell are you in here," barked his mother.

Surprised and shocked, he focused on the matter at hand. "I wanna watch."

The stunned mother and father looked at each other before returning their sights on their son.

"Honey, he is at that age when he is curious," she told her husband.

Izuku's father sighed. "Okay, you can watch. Just sit in the corner and don't say a word."


Short Story #2

Masaru and Mitsuki Bakugou was going through some tough times. A scandal involving Masaru caused a halt in his job in the fashion industry. He was forced to resign from his position. With his reputation lingering on a thread, no one would hire him. And of course, it was the same for Mitsuki as she shared the Bakugou name and image.

Their finances were liquidated and assets were frozen. Because of their home belonging to Masaru's job, they were forced to vacate. Now, the couple and their son were living in a studio apartment.

In a matter of weeks, they went from riches to rags.

Tonight wasn't any exception. Masaru spent the last of their funds in an attempt to earn some money through mahjong. He returned home in defeat. The look was returned as his wife came to comfort her dejected husband.

As they held hands, Mitsuki reminded him of the last resort to earn some quick cash. Masaru didn't like it, but seeing the look on his wife and son's eyes, he knew that by any means, they do what they have to do.

Later that night, Masaru was able to find clothing suitable enough for Mitsuki to wear as they ventured into the streets.

Mitsuki became a temptress of the night.

It wasn't an easy decision, but Mitsuki had the looks and the guile to seduce an unsuspecting person.

Masaru gave his wife a kiss as he dropped her off on a corner. It wasn't the best part of town, but he was guaranteed that his wife can make some money. He drove off and waited at a diner. She would signal him by text to confirm when the job was done.

It was near six in the morning when Masaru got the text from Mitsuki that she was done. He left the diner and met her at a park. Mitsuki entered the car. She kissed her husband. As they broke the kiss, he observed that her hair was in a mess. Her make-up was smudged. He stroked her cheek, seeing her red eyes meant that she needed some rest.

"Alright, baby," she told him. "I have $50.50 on us. That should hold us that until your unemployment check comes at the end of the week."

He wasn't happy about using his wife, but funds were funds. Yet again, he was puzzled on the part of the half-dollar. He has to ask, he thought.

"Sweetheart, who in the world would give you fifty cents?"

"Well, sweetie. All of them!"


Short Story #3

Archvillain All for One escaped from the maximum security prison after spending a few years of crimes against humanity. That night, while he was on the run, he happened to stumble into a home. The home belonged to the Todoroki family.

Holding them at gunpoint, he tied the family and placed them in their respective rooms. In the bedroom of Enji and Rei Todoroki, he tied Enji to a chair on one side of the room and tied Rei to the bed.

All For One had a desperate look, displaying grimace toward Enji before looking at Enji's wife. All For One smiled as he approached the subdued Rei. Enji gritted his teeth in anger as he saw All For One inhaling his wife's scent by kissing her neck. Rei shivered, but there was nothing that Enji could do. He had to sit still and take it.

All For One finished. He still cracked a smile toward Enji. He left Rei alone and left the room. However, he didn't leave the home. He heard the sound of him being in the bathroom. What reason was the convict in their bathroom, Enji fearfully didn't want to know.

As soon as he could, Enji made his way to his wife. Dragging his chair in the process, he put his head against the bed, showing his wife that he was there.

"Sweetheart. Sweetheart, I am here," said Enji.

Rei couldn't touch her husband but nodded at him. "I know, baby."

Enji tried not to cry. A quality he didn't know existed. Moments of regret entered his mind. The mistakes he made as a husband and the mistreatment and abuse of his family. "I don't think he would touch the kids. I know he has it out for us." He took a breath. "Baby, I am afraid that he might do things to you and will forcefully make me watch. I saw the bastard kissing you and that makes me sick to my stomach. I know I haven't been a perfect husband, but by God, I promise I will make it up to you."

"I know you will, baby. But-"

"Sorry, sweetie. Let me finish. This man might want to rape you. Just cooperate and give him what he wants. If he wants to make love, then do it. Whatever you have to do to not piss him off. I promise you, I will love you no matter what." He blew her a kiss. "Stay strong and I love you."

Rei displayed a smile. "Darling Enji, I love you so much! I am glad that you are finally opening up to your feelings."

"I promise I will do better. If we get out of this."

"Relax, dear. You're right about this. He won't touch the kids. That wasn't what he wanted to do."

"He won't touch them?"

"No, sweetie. Plus, he didn't want them to see what's next."

"About what he would do to us?"

"He wasn't kissing me. He was whispering in my ear to say that I have a handsome husband."

He raised his eyebrow in shock. "Handsome, you say?"

"Yes, love. He asked if we kept the Vaseline in the bathroom." Her eyes were watery. "I am so happy, love, that you care about me."

"Vaseline, you say?"

"Yes, dear. So, stay strong for me. I love you, too!"


Short Story #4

Izuku just returned from school when he passed by his mother's bedroom. Izuku saw his mother lying on her bed naked. Izuku was stunned as he saw his mother was touching herself. She grabbed her tits, pinching and hissing at every touch. He kept watching as she moaned.

"Izuku," she moaned. "I want Izuku."

The teen didn't think anything of it. He shrugged his shoulders and went on with his business.

That evening, he woke up from his slumber. He left the room to get a glass of water. As he passed by his mother's bedroom, he saw his mother doing the same thing earlier in the afternoon.

"Icchan," she purred. "Icchan, Izuku, baby. I need you. I need you."

Once again, the young teen didn't think of it. He took his glass of water and went to bed.

During the next couple of months, he saw doing the same routine twice a day. It wasn't until one evening when he stumbled onto her bedroom. When his mother saw him, she had hungry eyes. Without a second to spare, she grabbed Izuku and had her way with him.

Izuku was shocked but surprised by the pleasure. When they were done, they lied in bed. She held him tightly. "Thank you for making my dreams come true. I really wished for this."

Izuku raised his eyebrow. "So, by doing this, you get what you want?"

"Yes, darling."

Immediately, Izuku left his mother's bedroom and headed to his. He took off his clothes and threw himself on his bed. He started to touch himself and moaned, "Ohh! I want a quirk! I want a quirk!"


Short Story #5

Fuyumi and Shouto Todoroki went inside of the grocery store. Fuyumi was a fifth grader whereas Shouto was still in kindergarten. Fuyumi held her brother's head as they went to the toiletry aisle. She found what she needed, a box of tampons. She grabbed a box from the shelf and took it to the register.

As they approached the cashier with their item, the cashier politely asked, "Oh, purchasing tampons for your okaa-san? That is sweet of you."

Fuyumi shook her head in disagreement. "No, ma'am. These aren't for my mother."

The cashier responded, "Well, they must be for you."

Fuyumi shook her head in disagreement. "No, ma'am. They aren't for me either."

The cashier was curious. The girl looked old enough to use them and the tampons weren't for her mother. "So, if it isn't for your mother and not for you, then who?"

Fuyumi pointed at her brother, Shouto. "They are actually for my little brother."

The cashier was surprised but curious. "What reason would a little boy need tampons?"

Fuyumi explained to the cashier. "On TV, they said that if you wear these, you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can't do either of them."


"Yes, ma'am. Plus, my otou-san also said he needs it since he keeps being a little pussy, wherever that means."


Short Story #6

It was a typical afternoon at the playground as Izuku, Shouto, and Katsuki were playing in the sandbox. It was Katsuki that gave Izuku his attention when he noticed Izuku's father's car passing the playground and headed into the woods.

Curious, Izuku and his friends followed his father in the woods where he saw his father and Katsuki's mother in a passionate embrace.

The boys ran out of the woods. Katsuki told Izuku to not talk about what they have seen.

The problem was that eight-year-old Izuku Midoriya couldn't keep secrets.

He ran home to his mother to tell her what he had seen in the woods. "Okaa-san, okaa-san. Earlier, I was in the woods and I saw otou-san and-"

His mother, Inko, grabbed him and put him on his lap. "First, slow down, sweetheart. Second, not a hug and a kiss?"

Izuku hugged and kissed his mother before trying to explain what he saw. "Okay, try again, sweetie."

Izuku explained to his mother. "Well, I was at the playground when I saw otou-san go with Auntie Mitsuki into the woods. My friends and I went to look and he was giving Auntie Mitsuki a big kiss."

Inko frowned. "Okay, dear. What else happened?"

"I saw him turn her around and took off her shirt. They were panting loudly. It was hot outside so I think they were cooling off."

"What else they did, honey?"

"They kissed once again. Auntie took off his pants. Then, he grabbed her and put her on the hood of the car. Then, they began wrestling."

Inko held onto Izuku tightly. "All right, dear. Say no more. I want you to save it for Daddy when he gets home." She bit her lip. "I want to see your father's surprised face when you tell it tonight." She reached for the phonebook. "In fact, let's make tonight special, Icchan. Care to go out tonight?"

Later that night, the Midoriya family were at a pizzeria. It was there where the excited Izuku repeated the story in front of his parents.

Inko had an agitated smile. His father was getting paler by the minute.

Izuku took a bite of his pizza. "So, I saw otou-san and Auntie Mitsuki wrestling. It kind of reminded me of you, Mommy when Uncle Toshi used to come over when otou-san was out of town."

The next day, the Midoriyas visited a marriage counselor. Neither of them further discussed the incident. They decided to call it even.

Chapter Text

Another Short Stories in Short Stories. Some original, some came from word of mouth. Nevertheless, isn't it fun when it features our characters? Enjoy! READ at your own risk!

Short Story #1

One evening, Rikido Satou was relaxing at a drink bar with some friends until he needed to go to the restroom. While he was relieving himself, a black gentleman entered the restroom, standing next to Rikido. As the gentleman began to relieve himself, Rikido couldn't help but notice how "blessed" was the gentleman. He compared it to the size of a tennis ball container. Out of curiosity, he wanted to know how did the gentleman's penis grow that size.

"Excuse me, sir. I am curious. How were you able to get your penis so big," asked Rikido.

The gentleman smiled, couldn't help but to be proud of his member. "Well, my friend. Every night, I tie a piece of string around the end and pull it tight for a few minutes."

"A few minutes," asked Rikido.

"Certainly, my friend. Never fails," answered the gentleman.

Rikido bowed to the foreign gentleman and left the restroom.

Several weeks have passed since then. By chance of fate, the pair met up at the very drink bar restroom.

"So, my friend," asked the black gentleman. "How's progress on your member?"

Rikido smiled. "Great! Excellent! Look! It's nearly getting all black."

Short Story #2

At school, ten-year-old Izuku told his classmate Katsuki that most adults have at least one dark secret. Katsuki was puzzled, skeptical, thinking it was just a trick for him to stop bullying Izuku.

"No way," interjected Katsuki. "No way in hell that is true."

Izuku crossed his arms. "Fine! Don't believe me! However, if you do, just say "'I know the whole truth.' It will work."

Katsuki was still skeptical but decided to try it. Well, not before giving Izuku a noogie and an Indian sunburn.

School ended for the weekend and he headed home. Upon making it to his house, he saw his mother watering the garden.

Say, "I know the whole truth." It will work.

"Greetings, Kacchan. How was school," questioned his mother cheerfully.

Katsuki sighed. "Okaa-san, I know the whole truth."

His mother's smile faded. She reached into her purse and handed him $10. "Just our little secret between us, sweetheart," she said in a praying position. "Please don't tell your father."

Izuku was right, he thought. If that could give him $10, imagine what he could do next for a little spending money. He didn't mind buying some booster packs for his Magic cards.

The next day after school, his father picked him up in the car. His father lowered the volume so he could hear his darling son. "So, son, how was school today?"

Round 2.

"Otou-san, I know the whole truth."

His father immediately applied the brakes. Katsuki was grateful to wear a seatbelt. His father reached into his wallet and promptly gave him $20. Like his mother, his father's hands were in a praying position. "Please, sweetheart, don't tell your mother."

$30 in his pocket within 24 hours. If he knew he had his parents, imagine what other adults he could do next.

It was a Sunday when his parents were having lunch with Izuku's parents. While they were eating their lunch, Katsuki looked for another victim.

He noticed Izuku's father was heading outside for a phone call. He used that as an opportunity to confront the unsuspecting man.

He walked outside and greeted Izuku's father.

Round 3.

"Midoriya Oji-san, I know the whole truth."

Izuku's father immediately dropped his cell phone and open his arms. Tears were coming from his eyes.

"Oh, my God! I am so thankful. Come and give your father a great big hug!"

Short Story #3

It was Izuku's last day as a fee collector for the local newspaper before heading off to college. His four years of service was highly noticeable, recognized, and greatly appreciated. He was popular throughout his route.

At the first residence, he was welcomed by the Asui family. They baked him a pie and they gave him an gift card as a thank you for his service. Izuku bowed at the family and carried on with his business.

At the second residence, he was welcomed by his Auntie Shino and her nephew. They presented him a plate of pancakes and a Gunpla toy as a thank you for his service. He bowed at his Auntie and carried on with his business.

At the final residence of his block, he was met by his teacher, Nemuri Kayama. At the entrance, she was wearing a revealing lingerie. Without a chance to speak, she grabbed his hand and lead him into the home.

There, he was welcomed by her lovemaking. Izuku couldn't imagine the passion Kayama-sensei gave him. He gave her his virginity as she basked into the pleasure. So much so that she even allowed to release his contents inside of her.

The duo engaged in sex for the rest of the afternoon.

After they were finished, Kayama-sensei took him to the kitchen to make him a huge breakfast. Although it was late to be dinner, Izuku didn't mind. She said it was a "breakfast built for a king...for her king of the hour." The blushing Izuku was welcomed to hash browns, pancakes, salad, sashimi, waffles, and orange juice.

The duo ate in silence. He was eternally grateful of today. As she gave him a plate of dessert, a chocolate pie a la mode, he noticed a dollar sticking under his breakfast plate.

"How was your breakfast, Izuku," she asked.

"It was delicious. Thanks!" He looked at her. "Say, I noticed that there is a dollar here. Any particular reason may I ask?"

"Well," said Kayama-sensei. "Last night, I asked my boyfriend on what we should give you for your last route. He said, 'Fuck that dude. Give him a dollar for his worth.'" She pecked him on the cheek. "The breakfast was my idea as a token of my appreciation."

Short Story #4

Yuga Aoyama had the opportunity to take his classmate, Ibara Shiozaki out on a date. The couple decided to go to a carnival.

"So, my princess, what would you like to do first," he asked.

"I want to get weighed," she answered.

Odd request but he didn't mind. They went over to the weight guesser. The man guessed their weight. The man was incorrect with Yuga. However was correct with Ibara's. She won a stuffed toy.

Later, he and Ibara go on the Ferris Wheel and later rode Bumper cars. When finishing the ride, Yuga asked Ibara on what they should do next.

"I want to get weighed," she answered.

So, he and Ibara returned to the weight guesser. The man was much as surprised as Yuga as the man once again correctly guessed Ibara's weight. Ibara won a prize again and Yuga lost a dollar.

He tried not to be frustrated. Ibara was the religious type and didn't go out much. He hoped the date didn't get worse.

After grabbing a bite to eat, Yuga asked Ibara on what they should do next.

"I want to get weighed," said Ibara.

Yuga was no longer amused. Instead, they left the carnival. He canceled another arrangement he had for them and dropped her off at her dorm. He bowed to her and left.

Ibara entered the home where she was met by her roommate, Reiko.

"Hey, Ibara. How was your date," asked Reiko. "I am amazed you wanted to go since you just got your tongue pierced."

Ibara responded, "Oh, Weiko, it was terrible. He was wousy."

Short Story #5

Eleven-year-old Shouto and his father were finishing training in the garage. Shouto was removing a box until he saw a box of condoms falling out of the bottom of it.

"Otou-san, what are those," asked Shouto.

"Son, these are condoms," he answered. "These are used when you want to have protective sex."

"Yes, sir," said Shouto. He then picked up one of the packs that contained three. "Is there a reason for three, Daddy?"

"Yes, son," answered his father. "These condoms are for high schoolers. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday. Weekend warriors I call them."

Curious, Shouto picked up another batch of condoms. This contained a pack of six. "Is there a reason for six, Daddy?"

"Yes, son," answered his father. "These are for college kids. Two for Friday and following the rest of the week. These got a pep-in-their-step."

As the duo was preparing to leave, Shouto stepped on another pack of condoms. This time it was a set of twelve. "Is there a reason for twelve, Daddy."

His father sighed. "Yes, son. You see, this is for married men who have four children and a neglected spouse for obligatory sex. One is for January. One is for February. One is for March…."

Short Story #6

This joke looks familiar, but heck, my story…..

Tsuyu woke up in the middle of the night when she saw her husband, Katsuki, wasn't in bed. Worried, she got out of bed to find him. She put on her robe and scanned the home in search of him. After a few minutes, she heard sobbing noises coming from the basement. Grabbing her flashlight, she took the spiral stairs to the basement to find Katsuki sobbing.

He was cornered in a fetal position while sucking his thumb. He was rocking and pacing.

"What's wrong, dear," asked the worried Tsuyu.

Katsuki sniffled. "Remember over eighteen years ago when I got you pregnant after prom?"

"Yes, dear. How could I forget," she said.

"Yeah. And your father said I had to marry you or go to jail?"

"Yes, baby. Of course," said Tsuyu.

"Well, today I would have been a free man," cried Katsuki.

Tsuyu kneeled to her sobbing husband. She brushed his hair with her fingers and kissed her forehead. "Oh, sweetheart. I know it can be painful. Especially when this sentence is now consecutive with another one."

Chapter Text

Hey, guys. Big Diesel and [girlfriendoftheauthor] here. Writer's block is something else. When you are busy adulting, you can't really find the time to write your stories. With my girlfriend now working on her dissertation, her time is now filled. As much as I want to continue these funny and horror stories, my brain is now too focused on work to pay the bills. The fallacy of being an educator. I won't say hiatus for the brain can produce some great material. Until then, wait patiently for my future stories. As of now, I can give you these small, yet humorous short stories. Some original, some you are familiar with. I hope you guys enjoy. Strive and prosper, God bless, and enjoy!

Short Story #1

Katsuki is a father of six children and he is very proud of his achievement. So much so that he starts calling his wife, Momo, the Mother of Six. This is much of the chagrin of Momo for she is met with laughter from those who knew the couple.

One evening, the couple is invited to a party at Izuku's. As he gets tired and is ready to go home, he wants to be sure if Momo is ready to leave. At the top of his lungs, the blonde shouts, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"

Momo is upset and irritated by Katsuki's embarrassing remarks. It is met with laughter. She takes a breath. She closes her eyes. At the top of his lungs, she shouts back, "Anytime you're ready, my dearest Father of Three!"

Short Story #2

Nemuri Kayama and Yuu Takeyama are out in Akihabara Christmas shopping for their husbands. As they venture through the district, Yuu asks Nemuri on what she is going to buy her husband.

"I am thinking on buying him a leather coat and a Silver Porsche. I reckon if he doesn't like the leather coat, then he will like the Porsche." She turns to Nemuri. "What about you?"

Nemuri puts her finger to her lip. "I am thinking of getting my man a hint and a dildo. I reckon if he doesn't take the hint, then he can go screw himself."

In her possession, she shows Yuu a paper of divorce papers.

Short Story #3

Enji Todoroki spends a few hours at a bar before returning home to his wife drunk.

Frustrated by her husband's drunkenness and late arrival, she demands an answer.

"Sorry, okaa-san, I went to this amazing bar," he slurs to her as he staggers back and forth. "It's called the Honey Lemon Bar where everything there is golden." He giggles. "At the front, there are two huge golden doors. The floors are golden. Even the urinals are golden as well."

Crossing her arms, she snaps, "What foolery! I don't believe a word of it. I swear to Christ if it's that Kayama bitch again."

"Relax, baby," he says as he reaches into his pocket. He hands her a piece of paper. "Here is the number. Call if you don't believe me." He pats her on the head. "Now, if you excuse me, I got to go take a shit."

The next day, Rei phones the Honey Lemon Bar.

"Good afternoon, Honey Lemon Bar," says the bartender.

"Yes, sir. My name is Rei Todoroki and I have a question about your establishment."

"Sure! Ask away!"

"Tell me," she says. "Do you have two huge golden doors at the entrance of the building."

"Sure do! Custom made from Sierra Leone," says the bartender.

"And you have golden doors?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"What about golden urinals?"

There is a pregnant silence. From the phone, Rei can hear the bartender yell, "Hey, Satou, I think I have a lead on the guy that pissed in your saxophone again last night."

Short Story #4

Nirengeki goes on a date with his classmate, Mina. After taking her to the movies and having dinner, the couple decides to go for a night drive.

They are parked on a back road so they can see the clear view of stars.

Nirengeki is nervous. This is his first date with a girl who is actually his crush. As he ponders on what to do, Mina stops him.

"Nirengeki, before we go any further, there is something I need to you."

"What is it," he asks nervously.

"I want to be honest. I should have mentioned this earlier." She sighs. "I do compensation dating."

"Compensation dating," he says. "Like a hooker?"

She sighs. "Yes, like a hooker. I should I have said something earlier. You are just a nice guy."

Nirengeki drops his head. "In a way, I should have known better. God, I am stupid."

She touches his arm. "Don't be! You are a sweetheart. You are a good boyfriend to be. I wish you lots of luck for any girl that likes you." She lets go. "However, a job is a job. So, I do have to charge if you want to go further."

"How much?"


She begins to unbutton her blouse. She pulls out a condom from her pocket. "So, do you want to rattle?"

Nirengeki knows that an opportunity like this isn't going to present itself anytime soon. Reluctantly, he pays her. So, the evening is filled with Nirengeki losing his virginity to Mina in compensation dating.

When finished, Mina pulls the condom from him and tosses it outside. Nirengeki buttons his pants and laments about the date. As Mina applies her makeup, she notices that Nirengeki isn't going anywhere. He sat looking at the window.

"Why aren't we going anywhere," asks Mina.

"Since we are being honest," he says as he points to the sticker on the window. "I should have mentioned to you earlier that I am actually a part-time Uber driver. I know your mother gave me a stern promise of taking you back home." He looks at his cell phone. "The fare to take you back home is going to be $30."

Short Story #5

There are three married couples (Izuku and Ochako, Shouto and Momo, and Minoru and Tsuyu) who are participating in a study conducted by Camie Utsushimi. Each couple is interested in joining the local country club. At the end of the interview, Camie tells the couples that in order to join the country club, they will have to pass a test. They will have to abstain from sex for a month. Each couple agrees to try.

So, a month has passed. The couples return to the country club to have their final interview. Camie first asks Izuku and Ochako Midoriya how things went with them.

Ochako speaks for them. "Well, it wasn't bad. Izuku spent time working on his Gunpla collection whereas I was working on my garden. On the weekends, we spent time with family. So, everything was okay."

Camie nods excitedly. "Well done, Mr. and Mrs. Midoriya, I grant you permission to the country club."

Camie turns to Shouto and Momo Todoroki. "Okay, you guys. How did things work out?"

Shouto speaks for them. "Well, Ms. Utsushimi, it was somewhat difficult. We wore plain clothing so we wouldn't turn each other on. We avoid watching any television with temptation. We had to sleep in different beds. I even spent time with my own father." He slaps his forehead. "Nevertheless, we were celibate the whole month."

"Excellent, I am proud of you guys," says Camie. "I grant you permission to the country club, Mr. and Mrs. Todoroki."

Camie turns to Minoru and Tsuyu. "How about you two? How did you guys do?"

Minoru doesn't look at Camie. Tsuyu twiddles her thumbs. "We did okay for the first week," says Tsuyu. She swats her tongue at Minoru. "Say something."

"Something," he says.

"Okay, you two," says Camie. "Just explain."

Minoru tells Camie, "We tried, okay? By the second week, the temptation is real. When she skins carrots, I got a hard-on. When I bumped myself on my knee and released a moan, she got horny." He drops his head. "On week three, Tsuyu accidentally drops some cucumbers. When she bent over to get them, I lost all hope and got her right there."

Camie shakes her head in disappointment. "I am sorry, my dears, but I can't allow you guys to enter the country club."

Tsuyu nods her head. "We understand. We're not too welcome at Wal-Mart anymore, either."

Short Story #6

Minoru is drunk and knows he isn't in any condition to drive. Being wise, he leaves his key to the bartender, leaves his car parked, and walks home. As he staggers down the road, he is stopped by the police.

The policeman gets off of his bike and goes to the drunken Minoru. "Excuse me, sir, but why are out here at this ungodly hour? It is near three in the morning."

"I am on my way to a lecture," replies Minoru.

"A lecture you say," responds the policeman. "And who is going to give a class at this hour/"

"My wife," answers Minoru.

Short Story #7

Enji suspects that his wife is having an affair with his son's friend, Izuku. Izuku has been making frequent visits at the residence. Even on days when Shouto isn't there. Enji needs to go outside of town for a tournament for a few days, so he decides to make a trap as proof of his wife's infidelity.

The day of his trip, he puts a bowl of milk under the bed. From the bed springs, he ties a spoon. Conducted a little research on physics, he knows that her weight on the bed will not drop the spoon into the milk. However, if more weight was put to the bed, then the spoon will droop into the milk, leaving evidence. He hopes that he is wrong. The trap is set and he leaves for his trip.

Several days later, Enji returns home. The first thing he does is reach under the bed. When he retrieves the bowl, it is now filled with butter.

Short Story #8

Nemuri Kayama asks Izuku Midoriya to spend the summer break with her training for becoming a Pro Hero. So, his summer break is spent training under Deku and Midnight. They work hard and she shows no mercy in training him. Despite the hazardous, stressful training, Deku does well.

At the end of the summer, Midnight tells Deku, "Deku, since you have done such a fine job training with me, I am going to throw a party for you."

Deku smiles at Midnight. "Great. Thank you!"

"Good because you better be able to handle a few beers because there will be lots of drinking!"

"I am not much as much of a drinker, but I think I can handle myself."

Midnight adds, "There is going to be a lot of ass-kickings so I hope you are ready."

Deku nods his head in agreement. "You have trained me well and vigorously. So, I know I am in good shape."

"One more thing," says Midnight. "Did I mention there will be lots of sex?"

"Really," questions Deku. "I am quite curious especially if Ochako comes to this party. So, when and what should I wear this party?"

Midnight says, "Nothing fancy for it is going to be me and you."

"Say what?"

"And the party begins now. Also, I have swallowed lots of fertility pills. Let's put your training to work!"

Short Story #9

Hisashi Midoriya went to the doctor's office to get his wife's, Inko, test results. As he arrived at the counter, the receptionist told him, "I am sorry, Mr. Midoriya, but I am afraid that there has been a mistake on our end."

"What is the matter," asked Hisashi.

"Well, there has been a mix-up at the lab. When we submitted your wife's sample, it was sent with another Mrs. Midoriya as well. So, we are now uncertain which one is your wife's. I am afraid that is either bad or terrible."

"Explain please."

"Well, one Mrs. Midoriya has tested positive for early onset dementia and the other for AIDS," said the receptionist. "So, we don't know which one your wife has."

"Oh, my God. Can there be a retest," asked Hisashi worriedly.

"As much as we wanted, your insurance won't pay for more than one expensive test," replied the receptionist.

"Well, what should I supposed to do," asked Hisashi.

"The doctor recommends that you should drop your wife off in the middle of the woods. If she finds her way back home, then don't sleep with her."

Short Story #10

Toru is interning as a psychiatrist. She is conducting a group therapy session with three mothers (Tomoko, Shino, and Ryuko) and their young children.

"Well, ladies," says Toru. "It seems to me that you all have obsessions." She looks at Tomoko. "It seems that you are obsessed with sweets. You even named your daughter Candy."

She turns to Shino. "Your obsession is with money. So much so that you have named your child Yentaro."

At this point, Ryuko gets up to prepare to leave, she takes her son by his hand and whispers, "Come on, Dick, let's leave."

To be continued….

Chapter Text

Hey, guys! Another chapter of misadventures and mishaps with the characters of Izuku and My Hero Academia! Enjoy!

Short Story #1

Masaru asked his eleven-year-old son, Katsuki, if he knew about the birds and the bees. Katsuki looked at his father teary-eyed before sobbing on the ground.

"Kacchan, what's the matter," asked his father worriedly.

"I don't want to know," cried Katsuki as he was wailing on the floor.

"Dear, what's to cry about," he said with a confused look on his face.

Katsuki sat up, wiping the tears with his arm. "Because, Daddy, when I was six, you gave the "there's no Santa" talk. When I was seven, you gave the "there's no Easter bunny" speech. When I was eight, you gave me the "there's no tooth fairy" talk." He sniffled as he glared at his father. "If you're going to tell me now that grown-ups don't really screw, then I don't have much to live for."

Short Story #2

Shouto got in contact with Izuku one morning to let him know that he wasn't coming to school today.

Izuku could hear the sound of vomiting coming from the toilet. "Dude, you don't sound too good."

"Yeah! Just take my word for it and cover for me. I'm that sick!"

"Exactly how sick are you?"

"Well, I was in bed with my sister."

"There's nothing wrong with that. Some sleep in futons together."

"No, dude! I was in bed with my sister."

Izuku raised his eyebrow. "Oh, yeah! So, save your notes?"

"That'd be great! Later."

"Later!" Izuku hung up and gave himself a grim look. He made a text to Katsuki. Never give Shouto your "incest juice" again. For side effects include incest. Izuku was quite grateful for his moderation of Katsuki's homemade grain alcohol. Who knew what kind of explanation he would have to explain to his parents.

Short Story #3

Tomoko was sitting on a beach in Hawaii while attempting to read a novel and to null the pain of furthering the stereotype of fellow Japanese like herself when going on a tropical vacation. Meanwhile, she saw an attractive black gentleman reading on the blanket beside hers. She attempted to make conversation.

"Hello, sir," she said to the gentleman. "Are you a fan of movies?"

"In fact, I am, miss," he answered as he returned to reading his magazine.

Tomoko continued. "Are you a fan of skiing?"

The gentleman returned his sight at Tomoko. "Actually, I am a fan. I have a ski house in Aspen." He nodded to her before resuming his reading.

Undaunted, Tomoko gave it one more attempt. "Are you a fan of the Pussycats?"

With that, the gentleman dropped his magazine. He took Tomoko by the hand and went into the changing tent. The duo engaged in ravenous, ravishing sex. Tomoko was surprised at this, screaming in the pleasure knowing the gentleman was blessed with his girth. She told herself to always come back when seeing foreigners.

Once the dust settled, the couple was lying on the sand. She was panting loudly. "Oh my, God. That wasn't what I meant. But I can't say I didn't enjoy it. Damn, my friend. You have stamina."

The man wiped the sweat off of his forehead. He thought for a moment before replying, "I've only responded like that when you knew my name was Katz."

Short Story #4

Yuga left school and boarded the train home. As he was seated, he was sitting beside a young nun fresh of the seminary. Yuga looked over to the young nun and asked if they would go out for coffee. The nun, surprised by his question, politely declined the offer and got off at the next stop.

Disappointed, Yuga planned to head to the next stop to drown his sorrows. However, he was stopped by a familiar classmate. Classmate Katsuki was eating an apple as he sat a few seats behind him. He made his way next to Yuga. "Seems like you didn't score, bro. However, there is a way to convince that nun to have sex with you."

Stunned, Yuga retorted. "What makes you think I wanted sex? I simply wanted coffee."

"Frenchie, please," snickered Katsuki as he took another bite. "The look on your virgin face's screams "I want to fuck." However, I can tell you how, when, and where you can find that nun."

Yuga did find the nun attractive and he still only wanted coffee. Going against his instincts of listening to Katsuki, he asked Katsuki about the whereabouts of the nun.

Every Saturday night around midnight, the nun goes to the cemetery and prays for God and the lost souls. If you were to dress up like the Jehovah and convince her that you are God, then I think you can get that coffee or giving her some fresh cream with that coffee.

A few days have passed. The cemetery was where Yuga Aoyama was found. Wearing a robe he borrowed from his mother and glow-in-the-dark paint he borrowed from the theatre department, he was awaiting the nun's arrival.

Midnight arrived and sure enough, the young nun entered the vicinity, praying silently for the dead and delivering flowers to their grave.

Yuga waited for the right time to position himself. When it was time, he jumped out of hiding, surprising the nun.

God, I am going to hell. Forgive me! "Yes, my dear and faithful daughter. I am the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. The el-Shaddi and the Elohim."

The nun dropped to her knees, bowing before God (Yuga). "Yes, father. The trials I have to know about your existence. The stress and the test of perils! My father in heaven, I am here to serve you at your disposal."

I guess it's now or never. "I know the prayers you desire, my faithful daughter and I will answer them. But, must…"

"What is it, God?"

Coffee with Yuga! Coffee with Yuga! Don't say have sex. Don't say hot sex with a nun. Don't say hot sex with a pretty nun.

"You must first have sex with me." He tightened his eyes from the word vomit to the nun. Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!

"Yes, my Lord."

Yuga was shocked when hearing the faint response from the nun. "Yes, my Lord, I want to be received." The nun got onto the ground. Yuga's heart leaped when seeing the nun lifting her robe, partially pulling down her panties. "My Lord, a request!"

"Yes, my daughter."

"I would like to keep myself pure as I am married to the church, my Lord," said the nun. "So, my anus will have to do."

Yuga nervously unbuttoned his pants as he entered his member inside of the nun. Not how his day was planned, but at least he was with the nun.

Yuga felt the tightening of her anus, enveloping him as it squeezed out his dick. The nun quietly prayed the hymn of the Virgin Mary as Yuga continued to have sex with the nun.

Hail Mary, full of Grace.

Yuga closed his eyes as he distributed his load inside of the nun. He lamented immediately that he lost his virginity to the nun.

"Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned," cried Yuga.

The nun turned. "What's the matter, my Lord?"

"I am not God." Yuga disrobed and displayed himself. "I am not God, ma'am. I am just the kid you saw on the train."

The nun appeared shocked upon seeing the revelation.

"I wanted to have coffee with you because you were cute. I knew there wasn't a chance in Hell, but I just wanted to try. And now, I made you think I was God and made you sin." He slapped his forehead. "God, I am such a fool."

The nun was quiet. It seemed like she was doing so thinking. She edged closer to Yuga, placing her lips to his ear. "Don't worry about, sweetheart...for the pleasure is all mine, Aoyama-kun."

"How do you know my name?"

Shocking revelation took Yuga aback. Memories were coming back to the train. He recognized the voice. The very voice that gave him the advice of pursing the nun. He turned as he saw the nun grinning and pulling off her wig.


"Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned," he said mockingly.

Hail Mary, full of Grace!

Short Story #5

Tenya Iida spent his summer working as an assistant to a truck driver. It wasn't easy work, but it was good pay and great opportunity of seeing the Japanese outdoors. One day, the truck driver asked if Tenya could drive this short route as his wife was expecting their first child. Tenya did have a license and didn't mind doing this task.

So, as he drove the Japanese countryside, the truck began having trouble. Scared, he called his boss. His boss told him that there was a mechanic nearby that can fix their truck.

After calling the mechanic and having his truck sent to the garage, the mechanic told him that it would take about one to two hours. Tenya understood and waited outside.

A few minutes passed and the heat was becoming unbearable to Tenya. Fortunately, a cafe was feet away from the garage and decided to go there to beat the heat.

Upon arrival to the cafe, he was met with the waitress. "Good afternoon, sir. Welcome to our cafe? How many in your party?"

"Just one, ma'am."

"Excellent. Care for any specials?"

"Just a soda please."

"Okay," said the waitress. "You know for an extra few dollars, we have an amazing seal that can do tricks and make ice cream for you. Ice cream free of charge."

"Really?" The curious, yet skeptic Tenya scratched under his chin. No way the cafe would keep a seal. Especially without having PETA involved. He decided to humor them. "Why not?" He gave the waitress the money. "Bring out the seal."

"Right away!" The waitress whistled. Tenya turned to the kitchen doors where a tank was pulled out and an actual seal was there. In its' possession was a spoon. "Tall boy wants an ice cream cone. Think you can handle it, Seal."

"Seal is his name?"

"Yeah, like the singer."


Tenya sat at the counter as he watched the seal do its work. Amazed as the seal used its' hands to make the ice cream for him. No longer skeptical, the teen was amazed. He appauled for the seal. "Well done, seal."

As the seal handed his ice cream, it sneezed, sending a wave of ice cream across his face.

A few minutes later, Tenya returned to the garage still cleaning out the ice cream stains on his shirt and still wiping residue out of his ears, nose, and eyes.

He walked toward the mechanic. "How long until it's finished?"

"About done."

"Excellent. What's the damage?"

"It looked like you've blown a seal."

"No, sir. It's ice cream."

Short Story #6

Minoru stumbled drunkingly out of a bar after being kicked out for touching a patron's butt. He was looking for his car, fumbling his pockets for the car keys.

It wasn't long until he was stopped by a bicycle cop. "Can I help you, sir?"

Drunkingly, he said. "Yes, sssssomebohody sthsthole myyymyy carr."

The cop asked him. "Well, sir. Where was the last place it was parked? Not like it matters since you are in a drunken state."

He looked blankly to the cop. "Aattt the end of dish key."

As the bicycle cop pulled out his flashlight, he observed that Minoru's 'gift' was dangling out of his pants. "Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself for the world to see?"

He looked down at his pants. He woefully slapped himself on the forehead. "Oh, hell. TThhhthhey got my onahole too?"

Short Story #7

Hisashi and Inko Midoriya took their young son, Izuku, to the circus. When the elephants appeared, their son was intrigued by them.

He tugged his mother's shirt and asked, "Mom, what's that hanging between the elephant's legs?"

His mother was embarrassed, blushing at her son's surprised comment. "Oh, it's nothing, sweetheart!"

So, Izuku turned to his father and asked the same question. His father answered, "It's the elephant's penis, Icchan."

"Why did Mom say it was nothing," asked Izuku.

Hisashi beated his chest proudly, smiling at his son. "Because I've spoiled that woman, son." He sighed heavily. "I've spoiled that woman."

To be continued….

Chapter Text

Before you read,  some of these jokes are original, some came from word of mouth from various sources. If I could cite credit, I would. Nevertheless, isn't it fun when it features our characters? READ at your own risk!  Thank you guys for your ongoing support. Keep laughing! Enjoy!

Short Story #1

At a family breakfast the following conversation takes place between Hisashi and his ten year old son, Izuku.

"Daddy, what are those big round things on Mommy's chest," asked Izuku as his doe eyes were pointing at his father.

Hisashi needed to think fast. No way he wanted his son to be exposed to the opposite sex just yet. He snapped his answer when figuring a quick solution. "They're balloons, Icchan!"

"Balloons? What for?"

"When the time comes for Mommy to go see Jesus, we can blow them up and she will float to heaven."

Izuku put down his chopstick. "Really, Dad?"

Hisashi patted his chest. "Yes, son!" He sipped his coffee in hopes that his son can move on.

Izuku took a sip from his orange juice. "Balloons! Really? Can you explain why Uncle Toshi came by yesterday and blowing Mommy's chest up?"

"Uncle Toshi?"

"Yeah! I saw Uncle Toshi blowing Mommy's chest up yestersay and Mommy kept saying, 'Oh, God, I am coming.'" Izuku put his finger to his lip before turning to the startled father. "But, she didn't float anywhere!"

Short Story #2

Itsuka rushed into their classroom late that morning. They were met by her angry teacher, Kayama-sensei.

"Kendou," she asked sternly as she tapped her whip on her desk. "Could you explain on why you were late this morning?"

She was startled. More so of the whip than the explanation of her tardiness. Kayama-sensei raised her eyebrow. "Shall you talk or shall the whip do the talking?"

Itsuka swallowed the lump in her throat as she was timid to speak. The redhead nervously looked at her teacher to explain her reason for her tardiness. "I was late because I was coming from Emerald Hill."

"Emerald Hill?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Kayama-sensei lowered her whip. "Alright, Kendou! I guess you get a pass. Have a seat. Don't let it happen again."

Itsuka nodded and rushed to her seat.

Five minutes later, the classroom slid open and walked another tardy student. Momo lowered her head down to the floor as she was nervous on what Kayama-sensei was going to say.

"Yaoyorozu-san! I'd expect better from the vice president of this junior high to be late!" She glared at the black-haired teen. "Shall you explain your whereabouts?!"

Momo yelped like a meek church mouse. Momo blushed as she didn't want to answer.

"Yaoyorozu! Shall you speak or let the whip speak for you!"

"I was coming from Emerald Hill," she said quickly before covering her mouth.

It was met with tiny laugh before Kayama-sensei stopped it. She sighed heavily as she didn't want this to carry throughout class. "Because this is your first offense, I would let it slide. See to it that it doesn't happen again, Vice President!"

"Yes, ma'am!" Momo rushed to her seat, putting her head down from the embarrassment.

Believing that the interruptions has ceased, Kayama-sensei resumed her lesson. It wasn't until ten minutes later when the door slid open once again. This time it was Ibara.

"Shiozaki!" At this time, Kayama-sensei's whip snapped which caused the class to immediately become silent. "I have had had it with the interruptions! Where have you've been. And I hope to your God that you weren't from Emerald Hill."

Ibara blanked twice, nervously turning her head away before Kayama-sensei took her chin to have her undivided attention. Ibara spoke. "I wasn't coming from Emerald Hill. I will admit that I was on my knees praying to Emerald Hill."

"God!" Kayama-sensei's eyes became fiery. She snapped her whip which cracked a book in half. "Shiozaki, you will spend part of lunch carrying pail and whatever Hail Mary's you have to do."

Ibara didn't speak but bowed as she walked back to her desk.

Before the Pro Hero could turn, the door opened. As she was about to use her whip, she saw that it was the principal.

She relieved herself. "Principal Aizawa!" She bowed to her. "What presence do you have to come here on this fine morning?"

"Well, I wanted to inform you that you have a new student joining you today, Kayama-sensei," informed the principal. "Sweetheart, would you please step inside?"

The class went silent when seeing the handsome teen entering the classroom. He was shy, keeping his emerald hair hiding his eyes. "Good morning, you all."

"I think you can take it from here," said the principal before darting away.

"Well, dear. Care to introduce yourself?"

The new student nodded. "My name is Izuku Midoriya." He bowed to the students. "Nice to meet you. I hope that you treat me well."

Kayama-sensei put her finger to her lip out of curiosity. "Midoriya! I like that name. What does it stand for?"

"Emerald Hill."

Short Story #3

It is the first day of school as Principal Nezu stands in front of the incoming freshmen at the auditorium. Standing firm, he addresses the students about some of the rules he hopes that they would attain and respect.

"Okay, the female dorms are off-limits for all male students," said Nezu sternly. "And the same will go for the male dorms for all female students."

It is met with awws, sighs, and boos before being immediately hushed by the principal.

"Anyone who is caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 for the first time," says the principal. "Anyone who is caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. And if anyone breaks this rule for the third time will be fined $200. Understood?"

"Yes, Principal," says the crowd.

"Thank you! Are there any questions?"

A male student raises his hand from the crowd.

"Yes, sir," says Principal Nezu.

"Yes, sir! Mineta! Class 1-A. I have a question."

"I may have an answer. Shoot!"

"How much for a season pass?"

Short Story #4 (Warning: the ending is a bit risque and graphic. Just giving you a head's up.)

Katsuki was worried as he felt something was wrong with his penis after having an encounter with Tsuyu from the previous night. He decided to go to a doctor's office to get it checked out.

As he entered the crowded office, he went to the receptionist. The receptionist cracked a smile and asked, "Yes, sir. How can I help you?"

"There is something wrong with my dick, ma'am," he said worriedly.

The shocked receptionist replied, "You shouldn't come inside a crowded office like that, young man. That is quite rude of you."

"Forgive me," cried Katsuki. "It's just my dick...something is wrong with it and I think I need to get it checked out, miss."

"We don't use that kind of language at this clinic," said the receptionist as she pointed at the door. "Step outside and try again. This time, tell me when you return that something is wrong with your ear, nose, or something."

"Yes, ma'am." Katsuki followed her orders and stepped out of the clinic. A few minutes later, he returned to the clinic and faced the receptionist.

The receptionist smiled smugly to Katsuki "Good afternoon, sir. Welcome to our clinic, what can I do for you."

Katsuki answered, "Yes, ma'am. I think something is wrong with my 'nose'."

The receptionist nodded approvingly. "And what is the matter with your 'nose', sir?"

He peered closer to the receptionist. "Is it normal for your 'nose' to seep pus?"

Apologies once again! I hope you have read the warning beforehand.

Short Story #5 (As seen on a previous joke story involving RWBY)

Note: this is a marriage joke involving a woman proposing to a man. Very atypical!

Izuku Midoriya and Ochako Uraraka were only eleven years old, but they knew that they were very much in love. So much so that Ochako proposed to Izuku in front of their favorite sycamore tree. She wasn't able to get an expensive ring but settled for a plastic ring from a vending machine at the toy store. Izuku was delighted, kissing her as a token of his appreciation. One day, Ochako decided to ask Izuku's father, Hisashi, for his hand in marriage. She waited until Hisashi was alone to bravely ask the tall, brawn man.

"Mr. Midoriya," said Ochako. "I would like to propose your son's hand in marriage."

Hisashi crossed his legs. He thought it was the cutest thing the brunette produced out of her mouth. He removed his glasses, asking Ochako to have a seat on the couch. He took a deep breath before responding to Ochako's question. "Well, Ochako, that is a tough proposition. Think you are ready for marriage?"

She nodded in agreement. "Yes, sir. Izuku and I are really much in love. I even proposed to him in front of your sycamore tree."

Hisashi tried hard to contain his laughter. "So, Ochako. You want to marry my son?"

"Yes, sir!"

"You kids are only eleven. What are you going to do for a place to live?"

She reached into her pocket. Astonishingly, she pulled a pair of glasses. She was reading from the note. "We were thinking with me, sir. I live in the suburbs. My room is bigger. Also, we have lots of groceries and my parents are hardworkers so, he would be well taken care of."

Hisashi still thought this was adorable. He decided to take another poke at her. "You did your homework, young lady. Smart."

"Thank you, sir."

"So, you have thought of living arrangments." He peered closer to the young girl. "What about a job? How can you support my dashing son without having the support of your own?"

Ochako quickly interjected. "Never you worry, sir. I am a fee collector for the local newspaper. I make $100 a week. So, that makes $400 a month. Plus, I even work around the house and get an allowance." She smiled. "That way, even if Izuku doesn't work, he will be in great hands."

Mr. Midoriya was puzzled. He scratched under his chin. No way this girl calculated these plans without a sibling, a parent, or a relative giving her these ideas. As a Trump card, he thought of something that should stump the lad's thinking.

"Well, Ochako. You have thought long and hard about this decision. You must really love my son?"

"I do, sir. Very, very much."

"Just one more question. If you can get this, you can have my son."

The glowing smile of Ochako was apparent. "Yes, sir. Ask away."

"What would you do if the two of you decided to have little ones of your own." He thought he was clever. "What should you do about that?"

Ochako just shrugged ers shoulder and told Izuku's father. "Well, sir. We've been lucky this far. My friend, Momo gives me these things that are made of plastic. I think they are called rubbers?" Ochako stopped when she saw Hisashi lying on the ground.

"Sir, sir? Oh, dear, he fainted."

Short Story #6

Izuku was sitting outside of his front porch when an upset Katsuki approached him. Katsuki pointed to his face, which showed a reddened handprint.

"Ouch," said Izuku. "You and Mina got into a fight?!"

"Yeah," said Katsuki. "I don't know why. I was only following her instructions." Katsuki pulled out his cell phone and logged onto Facebook. He gave it to Izuku to read it.


Katsuki scoffed as he rubbed his wound. "I wish she could have told me what ternative means," he said to himself.

Short Story #7

It was the decision of Hisashi to tease his wife, Inko in a joking manner. One day, he decided to grab Inko's breasts as she climbed into the shower.

Hisashi whistled. "You know, Inko, if these breasts were firm, you wouldn't need a bra!"

"Rude, Hisashi," she said angrily when closing the curtain.

A few minutes later, Hisashi decided to have a little fun again. As Inko stepped out of the shower, he decided to grab her butt.

Hisashi whistled. "You know, Inko, if your ass was firm, you wouldn't need a girdle!"

Inko slapped his hand. "What is wrong with you, Hisashi?!"

Hisashi laughed away as he left out of the bathroom. Two blows was enough for Inko. She decided to have a little payback since he enjoyed teasing.

It was the next day when Hisahi was stepping out of the shower when Inko grabbed Hisashi's dick.

Inko whistled. "You know, Hisashi, if this dick of yours was firm, then I wouldn't need our son!"

Short Story #8

Enji was listening to Green Day on the radio while reading RWBY when Rei snuck behind him. She furrowed her face at her husband before hitting him with a frying pan.

"What the hell, dear," he scoffed. "What was that for?"

"That was for the piece of paper in your pocket with the name Tomoko written on it," she barked at him.

"Dear," he said calmly. "Tomoko is the name of the horse I betted on when I went to the race track last week."

She was a bit skeptic, but she knew that Enji was an avid horse racing fan. "You are sure?"

"Yes, dear."

"Are you sure?"

"Dear, on my Mama, I am telling the truth."

Rei grabbed her husband and held him. "Okay, since you said you haven't cheated and you put it on your mother's life."

A couple of days later, Enji was doing his routine of listening to rock and reading manga when Rei once again hit him with a frying pan.

"What the hell," barked Enji. "What's that for this time?"

"Your horse rang," she said. "Oh, and your mother's dead."

Short Story #9

Izuku and Nemuri Midoriya were reported to their daughter's school for a parent-teacher conference over a risque essay their daughter had written for class.

"Mr. and Mrs. Midoriya," said their teacher. "I am having concerns regarding the things that occur in the household."

The Midoriya's stared before Izuku decided to speak. "Our daughter is quite pragmatic and very curious about the world. She can't help what she sees."

The teacher displayed a paper. "Explain last week's assignment to me please. We were doing a topic on heroes.

My Daddy Is A Hero!

My Daddy is a hero because he saved my Mommy from going to heaven. My Mommy would be dead if my Daddy wouldn't be so brave.

It happened last week. I could hear my Mommy scream in the bedroom. "Oh God, Oh God, I am coming! Oh God, I am coming!" I was so scared. I don't want my Mommy to die.

I ran into my parents' bedroom. Her legs were sticking straight up in the air. God tried to pull her up, but Daddy was on her and pushed her back. He pushed her so many times until God had to let her go.

That is why my Daddy is my hero.

The End!

"Quite poor representation," said the teacher.

"Oh, my God," said Izuku. "I am terribly sorry!"

"Yes, I agree," said Nemuri. "Not as accurate. For that was Daddy that was screaming for Jesus!"

Short Story #10

Katsuki and Izuku were spending the day cleaning the pool at the community center when Katsuki brought up sex as a topic.

"My favorite position is the rodeo position," said the spiky-haired blonde.

"Haven't really heard of that before," said Izuku admittedly. "What is it?"

Feeling prideful, Katsuki answered. "Well, Deku. I will use me and my girl, Kyoka as an example. Get her on all four and hit it from the back. As you are pounding it, grab her breasts and say, 'these feel like your mother's' and see if you can hold on to her for more than eight seconds without falling over."

To be continued….

Chapter Text

Before you read, some of these jokes are original, some came from word of mouth from various sources. If I could cite credit, I would. Nevertheless, isn't it fun when it features our characters? READ at your own risk! Thank you guys for your ongoing support. Keep laughing! Enjoy!

Short Story #1

A young couple, Denki and Kyoka, just married, are in the honeymoon suite on their wedding night in Hawaii. Of course, the couple chose such a cliche place for Japanese tourists but who was to complain about free suites? As they were undressing for bed, Denki grabbed his pants and tossed it to Kyoka.

"Here, dear. Put these on," said Denki.

Kyoka put on her husband's pants. The pants were loose and a lot of room for her to put both legs in one pants leg.

"Denki, I can't wear these pants," she told him.

Placing his hands on his hips approvingly, the smiling Denki said, "That's right. And don't you forget that, too. For am the one who wears the pants in this family!"

Kyoka didn't respond negatively. She bent over and pulled off her shirt, exposing her C-cup breasts. Denki grew hungry as he couldn't wait to have those greedy fingertips on those puppies. As he got closer, Kyoka put her finger to her lip, citing that she wasn't finished.

Kyoka did a little dance, rocking her hips as she took off her panties. Swinging it with her finger, she delightfully told him, "Put these on, sweetie!"

Confused, yet horny and kinky, Denki followed suit of his wife's request. He struggled as he tried to place his legs around them, only getting them to his kneecap.

"Kyoka, baby, I can't fit these panties," he informed her.

Placing her hands on her hips approvingly, the smiling Kyoka said, "That's right! And that is the way it's gonna be until your attitude changes."

Short Story #2

The gullible yet happy-go-lucky Pony was walking in town one day when she saw Neito standing in the middle of the street.

"41, 41, 41," said the teen repetitiously.

Pony watched out of curiosity until Neito spotted her.

"Oi! Hello, my dear American, blonde friend," said Neito as he waved to her to come to his direction.

Standing beside Neito, Pony asked, "What are doing?"

"Nothing much! Just shouting numbers," he said. "Wanna join?"

Having no plans, Pony decided to join her classmate.

"41, 41, 41," said the duo.

"This is kinda fun," said Pony excitedly.

"That's right, isn't it," said Neito.

"41, 41, 41," shouted Pony.

Neito excused himself to get a drink of water. Pony excitedly continued saying the number with all of her until she opened her eyes after hearing a noise.


Neito returned to see the unconscious Pony lying on the street. It was obvious that she was hit by a car. Neito smiled at the poor, gullible teen as she didn't realized that she was standing on a national highway.

Neito shrugged his shoulders, returning to the street. "42, 42, 42!"

Short Story #3 (Warning: this joke is a bit risque and no intent to offend)

Professor David Shield is sent to the Southern Islands to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math, science, and fundamentals that can lead them playing basketball, football, or a future president. One day, the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child.

Members of the tribe were shocked of this occurrence and knew that there was only one person responsible.

The chief pulled Professor Shield aside one evening to discuss the matter.

"Look here, David! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child." Angered at the professor, he still managed trying to keep his composure. "It doesn't take a genius to know who is responsible for this?!"

Professor Shield knew he was in hot water. He tried not to put the blame on the chief's wife as it was her that wanted to 'pour more in the pudding' that evening when she exposed him to hot baths near the caves. Being resourceful, more so prayerful, he thought quickly of a solution.

He snapped his fingers. "Actually, chief, there has been some kind of mistake!"

"Mistake," interjected the chief. "Can you explain why my lovely, dark wife has a white baby?"

"Simple! What you have seen is what we called in the world a natural occurence."

"A natural occurence?!"

"Yes," said Professor Shield. "In the western culture, we call your child an albino baby. It means that although the child is genotypically dark, the phenotype is white." He spotted a flock of sheep. He thank God for visual aid. "Look at those sheep in the field. All of them are white except tfor the black one. Nature does this on occasion."

The chief scratched the back of his head, still perplexed. He was silent before putting his hand on the professor's shoulder. "Tell you what. You don't say anything about the sheep and I won't say anything more about the baby."

Short Story #4

Eighteen-year-old Kota Izumi recently purchased a secondhand Vespa from a childhood friend. It was almost in mint condition. Before riding off to see his girlfriend, Eri, he asked his friend on how he managed to keep the Vespa in such a good shape.

"Well," said his friend. "It's pretty simple. Just make sure that if the Vespa is outside and if it rains, then rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain." His friend tossed a bottle of Vaseline. Thanking his friend and placing it in his pocket, Kota departed for his girlfriend's house.

Later that evening, he arrived to Eri's home for dinner. This is the first time in quite some time to visit the residence of Shouta and Emi Aizawa. He smiled when seeing his cheerful girlfriend rushed out of the doorstep to give him a kiss.

"Baby," she cried.

"Sweetheart," he said as he returned her hug. He looked at the apartment. "Your old man hasn't changed, has he?"

"Still the same," she said as she pulled in off the boke. "Honey, there is something I have to tell you before entering." She clapped her hands. "Please, don't judge!"

"How could I judge my girl?"

"My Pops have a rule. The rule is at dinner, we are to be silent. If one were to speak, then one must do the dishes."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, dear. If one speaks at dinner, then you must do dishes."

"Thanks for the tip."

Upon entering the residence, Kota was astounded when seeing the display. Eri was true to her word when he saw dishes throughout the home. It was in the alcove, the living room, the stairs. Just dirty dishes.

Kota tried to not pay it any mind as he went to the dining room to eat with her family.

True to a tee, silence filled the room. Eri ate beside her man. Emi was eating quietly. Shouta was giving Eri's boyfriend ugly looks but nonetheless was silent.

As dinner progress, Kota decided to become a bit frisky and took advantage of the opportunity.

So, he leaned over and kissed his girlfriend.

No one said a word.

So, he decided to reach over and played with Eri's breasts. He stared at her parents.

Silence remained.

Taking it up a notch, he pulled Eri and placed her on top of the table. He tore her clothes until she was naked and decided to take advantage by having sex.

As they were making love, silence still filled the room.

Shocked and in disbelief, he decided to up the ante. He had always thought Eri's mother was cute. He decided to dig his hand inside of Emi's pants. Emi didn't budge.

Since the opportunity was available, he decided to have a threesome with the mother-and-daughter on the table.

Kota turned to see Shota. He remained quiet, continuing to eat his meal.

Suddenly, there were some raindrops that hit the window. Worried about the rain and his new Vespa, he decided to tend to the bike.

He let go of the girls and reached into his pocket to pull out the Vaseline.

Suddenly Shota stood up. "Miss me with that bullshit! All right, Jesus! I will wash the damn dishes!"

Short Story #5

A group of prostitutes were living together. The former members of the Wild, Wild Pussycats were going through hard times and conformed to prostitution to make ends meet. One evening, leader and head of the pack, Shino (Mandalay) came back to the rundown apartment looking very down.

"Bad night," asked Ryuko (Pixie-bob).

"Terrible," answered Shino. In her hand, she had shown the girls only $20. "$20! $20 for a blowjob."

"Don't feel bad, sis," said Tomoko (Ragdoll). "Today, I had only scored $5 for a tug job."

"Yeah," exclaimed Ryuko. "I'd only made $10 for a look-but-don't-touch!"

"All of you guys are lucky!"

The girls stood to see Yawara (Tiger) sitting in front of the fire. "All of you are lucky!"

"What makes you say that," asked Shino.

"I didn't get a thing. I was just glad to get something warm in my stomach!"

Short Story #6

Toya Todoroki woke up in the middle of the night to use the restroom. After using it and getting a drink of water, the teen returned back to bed. On his way, he passed by his parents' bedroom. However, he stopped as he saw the blankets were shuffling and moving swiftly.

Concerned, he called to his father, "Father, what are you doing?"

The parents stopped. Murmuring occurred between the couple. "Well, son. I am just playing a game of cards."

"Cool, Father. Who is your partner?"

"Your mother, dear," answered his father. "Now, run along. We still have a few strokes before it's done."

He obeyed his parents and headed straight to bed. However, he stopped as he saw his sister, Fuyumi's room opened. Like his parents, the blankets were shuffling and moving swiftly.

He called to his sister. "Hey, sis. What are you doing?"

"Playing cards, you dweeb," she answered.

"Okay," said Toya. "Who is your partner?"

"Shouto and Momo. Now get out of here."

A little while later, his father Enji got up and prepared to head to work early. As he prepared to go to the bathroom, he passed by his son's room. He stopped as he saw the blankets were shuffling and moving swiftly.

He called to his son. "Hey, son. What are you doing?"

"Playing cards, father."

"All right? Really? So, who is your partner?"

Toya answered. "You don't need a partner if you have a good hand!"

His father didn't say anything else. He closed the door and left for the restroom.

Short Story #7

It was the decision of Yuga Aoyama that was God's greatest gift when it comes to good looks. One day, he announces to the principal of UA High that he must search for the most gorgeous and perfect classmate to marry and to have his children. Principal Nezu didn't object and told him that he will have three girls ready for him the next day.

"Sure," said Principal Nezu. "Give me a day or so. Once I find the right girls, feel free to select the one you want!"

The next day, Nezu managed to find the four most gorgeous and perfect girls who willingly interested in taking Yuga.

Yuga dated the first candidate, Ochako. The next day, Principal Nezu asked for Yuga's opinion.

"Well," said Yuga. "She was cute. But, she was just a wee bit, not that you can hardly notice, but pigeon-toed and somewhat Hinata-esque.

Nezu understood and decided to let the second girl have a shot with Yuga. Yuga later dated the second candidate, Toru. The next day, Principal Nezu asked for Yuga's opinion.

"Well," said Yuga. "She was beautiful. But, she was just a wee bit, not that you can hardly notice, not all the way there in the head and quite distant.

Nezu understood and decided to let the third girl have a shot with Yuga. Yuga later dated the third candidate, Kyoka. The next day, Principal Nezu asked for Yuga's opinion.

"Well," said Yuga. "She was cute. But, she was a just a wee bit, not that you can hardly notice, asymmetrical in the eyes."

Nezu understood and decided to let the fourth and final girl have a shot with Yuga. Yuga later dated the forth candidate, Camie. The next day, Yuga rushed in the office. He exclaimed, "She is perfect! Just perfect! She is the one and I want to be with her!"

Despite being teenagers, Camie and Yuga wedded. A few months later, the baby was born. When Yuga visited the nursery, he was horrified. The baby was beautiful but the baby didn't look anything like Yuga. The baby girl had green hair, green eyes, and freckles.

He rushed back to Principal Nezu asking how such a thing could happen considering the parents.

"Well," said Principal Nezu, "She was just a wee bit, not that you could hardly tell, pregnant when you met her."

Short Story #8

At a medical convention, two doctors Minoru Mineta and Mina Ashido started eyeing each other. Dr. Mineta invited Dr. Ashido to dinner in which she delightfully accepts. As they sat down at the table at the restaurant, she excused herself to go and wash her hands.

After dinner, things led to another and they ended up in her hotel bedroom. Just as the passion ignites, she excused herself to go wash her hands.

When she returned, they engaged into some kinky sex.

When they were finished, she went to go wash her hands once more. As she was washing, Dr. Mineta said aloud, "I bet you are a surgeon."

She confirmed. "How did you know?"

"Easy! You're always washing your hands."

Dr. Ashido then said, "I bet you're an anasthesiologist."

"Wow! How did you get guess," asked Dr. Mineta.

"I didn't feel a thing!"

Short Story #9

Katsuki was spending the weekend working on rebuilding the shed from the previous All For One attack. He wasn't alone as fellow classmate Eijiro was assisting him. As he was working on the shed's roof, he shouted to Eijiro on the ground. Being that it was a windy day, Eijiro couldn't hear Katsuki very well. So, Katsuki decided to use signals.

Katsuki pointed to his eye, meaning "I." He then pointed to his knees, meaning "knee." He then moved his hand back and forth, meaning "handsaw."

Eijirou gave him the OK sign. Suddenly, Katsuki witnessed Eijiro pulling down his pants and began to masturbate. He frantically jumped from the roof and ran to the occupied Eijiro.

Katsuki yelled, "You baka! What the hell! I wasn't implying anything like that. I just wanted a handsaw."

Eijirou stopped, giving him the OK sign. "I know that, dude. I was trying to tell you that I was coming."

Short Story #10 (Shout out to Stephen on Funny Jokes blog with permission to use this)

One night, eight-year-old Izuku walked in on his parents having sex. Inko was going up and down on Hisashi and when she sees her son looking at them she immediately stopped.

"What are you doing, Mommy?" Inko was too embarrassed to tell her little boy about sex so she made up an answer.

"Well, sweetie, sometimes Daddy's tummy gets too big so I have to jump up and down on it to flatten it out."

Izuku replied, "Well, Mommy you really shouldn't bother with that."

Inko had a confused look on her face, "Why do you say that sweetheart?"

Izuku replied, "Because Mommy, every time you leave in the morning, Auntie Nemuri comes over and blows it back up."

To be continued….

For my "Izuku's Mothers" fans and readers, the "Emerald Hill" short story is now a full-fledged story on there. Check it out!

Chapter Text

Before you read, some of these jokes are original, some came from word of mouth from various sources. If I could cite credit, I would. Nevertheless, isn't it fun when it features our characters? READ at your own risk! Thank you guys for your ongoing support. Keep laughing! Enjoy!

Short Story #1

Shouto and Momo were walking home from school when he made an announcement to his girlfriend.

"Hey, Momo! Wanna have sex at my place?"

"Yes," she exclaimed. "About time we can do this!"

He paused, peering closer so others wouldn't listen to their conversation. "Here is the gist right now, babe. My younger brother and I share bunk beds." He winked. "Don't worry, he sleeps on the bottom."

"How does that work," asked Momo.

"He would think we are making sandwiches," he said happily. "So, we must speak in code."


"Yeah! Like cheese means faster. Tomato means harder!"

She pondered on that thought for a second. She snapped her fingers. "Okay, that would work!"

Later that night, Momo and Shouto were making love on top of the bunk. His younger brother, Touya, was sleeping under them as he listened to their 'conversation.'

Cheese, Shouto, cheese," moaned Momo in pleasure.

"Slapping cheese on this Polish sausage," said Shouto as the bed continued to rock.

"Oh, God, add the tomatoes," cried Momo. "God, God, no more cheese. No more cheese. I am stuffed!"

Later that evening, Touya was returning from the kitchen to get a midnight snack when he encountered Momo leaving the bedroom.

"Onee-chan," said Touya.

"Touya-chan," replied Momo.

"Enjoy making those sandwiches?"

She covered her mouth nervously. "Yeah. It was a delicious sandwich."

"I can tell."

"Sorry, little bro. I hope we didn't wake you up."

He wavered his hands. "No worries. Good Night!" Before he entered his room, he turned to Momo. "Wipe your face when you get the chance. I can still see some mayo on your face."

Short Story #2

Izuku Midoriya and Saiko Intelli meet, fall in love, and decide to get married. On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite at the hotel, compliments of the Intelli-Midoriya family. That night as the newly wedded Mr. and Mrs. Midoriya were cuddling in bed, the bride said to her new groom gently, "Please promise me to be gentle." As the blushing bribe she was, she added, "I am still...a virgin."

Izuku was startled and astounded by her comment. No way was this profound beauty was a virgin. "Dear, how could that be? You've been married thrice!"

Saiko responded, "Well if I can explain this thoroughly, my first husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was to talk about it. My second husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was study and look it at it."

"What about your third husband?"

"Well, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to was...God, I miss him. But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said Izuku, "but, why?"

"You're yet mastered your quirk. This time I know I'm going to get really screwed!"

Short Story #3

Hisashi was putting his son, Izuku, to bed one night and as he walked out the bedroom door he heard him saying his prayers. He said, "God bless Mommy, Daddy, Auntie Mitsuki, Rest in Peace, Uncle Masaru!"

Hisashi rushed back into his bedroom and asks him, "Why did you say the last part?" Izuku replied, "Because I needed to." The next day, Masaru Bakugou dies of a heart attack. Hisashi was worried about his son but thought, "It must just be a sad coincidence."

That night he tucked his son into bed again and once again he heard him saying his prayers. He said, "God bless Mommy and Daddy, Rest in Peace, Auntie." Izuku's father was now really worried and thought to himself, "Can my son really see into the future?" The next day, Mitsuki Bakugou dies, leaving their daughter, Katsuki, an orphan. Now Hisashi was convinced his son can predict the future.

For the rest of the week, nothing happened, but on the Sunday night as Hisashi left his son's bedroom he waited outside and listened for any more prayers. Sure enough, he heard him say, "God bless you, Mommy, Rest in Peace, Daddy." Now Hisashi was really panicking and thought, '"Oh God, I'm going to die tomorrow!"

The following day Hisashi was in a complete mess all day in work; a real nervous wreck. He constantly checked the clock, looked around the room and was on edge all the time expecting to die at any moment. He was so nervous that he didn't leave the office until it was past midnight. Once it turned midnight he said to himself with relief, "How is this possible? I should be dead!" He went home and walked into the house to find his wife sitting on the sofa with a scared look on her face. She asked him, "Where have you been? What took you so long?"

Hisashi replied, "Listen honey, today I haven't had the best of days" and he was just about to tell her what has happened when she started crying and burst out, "I saw Toshinori die yesterday!"

Upon hearing that, Hisashi had a sickening look on his face. He looked toward the bedroom where Izuku resided and then turned his sights on Inko. Upon realization, her face lowered.

"You whore!" Hisashi slowly backed away from his wife.

"Hisashi, honey?"

He clenched his fist. His face became strained. As the atmosphere became tensed, he relaxed. He released a smile as he shouted. "Yes, freedom!" He ran into the closet and retrieved his suitcase.

"So long, my cheating widow!"

He rushed out of the door and immediately ran to the nearest train station.

Meanwhile, Izuku comforted the orphan Katsuki.

"It's okay, Kacchan, I am here with you," said Izuku.

Wiping the tears out of her eyes, she spoke, "I really miss them, Icchan!"

"Don't worry! You can always pray. That helps."

Katsuki nodded, understanding Izuku's suggestion. She returned to her bed. She got on her knees and began praying. "Bless the dead, God. God bless Auntie, God bless Icchan, Rest in Peace, Uncle Hisashi."

Following Katsuki's prayer, there was a sound of a traffic collision.

Short Story #4

Class 1-B classmates, Yui Kodai, Itsuka Kendou, and Pony Tsunotori were riding an elevator to class. They were all standing there until they noticed a stain on the carpet.

Itsuka was the first to speak. "That looks like semen."

Curiously, Yui knelt the floor to smell the stain. She looked at the girls. "It smells like semen."

Pony proceeded to the ground. She stuck out her tongue to taste. "Nobody in class 1-A or 1-B."

Short Story #5

Why did Minoru Mineta get divorced?

Last week was his birthday and his wife, Tsuyu, didn't wish him a happy birthday in the morning before he went to work. His parents forgot too and so did his kids (yet again they really didn't give him much attention from the start. It was already good enough to bear the Mineta surname).

He later got into work and even his colleagues didn't wish him a happy birthday. Minoru was really sad because everyone had forgotten his birthday.

But then as he walked into his office, his secretary, Camie Utsushimi, smiled and said to him, "Happy Birthday, Senpai!"

Because everyone else had forgotten, he felt so special so when his secretary asked me if he wanted to go for lunch with her, he jumped at the chance.

After they had eaten lunch and got a chance to watch a matinee, she invited him back to her apartment and again he jumped at the chance.

When they got there, she asked, "Do you mind if I just go into the bedroom for a minute?"

"No problem, I'll just wait here," he said.

Five minutes later, his secretary came back out of the bedroom with a birthday cake, his wife, his parents, his kids, his friends, and his colleagues all yelling, "Surprise!"

While he was waiting on the sofa naked.

Short Story #6

On a Monday morning, Izuku contacted his teacher, Aizawa-sensei.

"Morning, Aizawa-sensei! I want to let you know I won't be able to come to school today. I'm not feeling well!"

Aizawa-sensei displayed concern. "Sorry to hear, Midoriya! However, today is the Professional's Exam. You are needed with your team."

"I understand, sensei! However, my hands hurt, my back hurts, and my hips are hurting."

"I see that, Midoriya." There was a pregnant silence before his teacher answered. "You know, Izuku! When I was your age and I felt like this, I would go out and have sex with my girlfriend."


"Yes, sir! Having sex is good for the body and helps out with the kinks! You should try it!"

"Really, sir?"

"Certainly! I will postpone your turn for the time being until you take care of your business."

A few hours, Aizawa-sensei was with his students as they were preparing for the exams. It wasn't long when he saw the happy-go-lucky healthy Izuku Midoriya.

"Midoriya," exclaimed his teacher as he welcomed his student. "Glad to see you are looking and feeling better."

He nodded happily as he gave his teacher a thumbs up. "Yes, sir! What you've told me worked!"

"Good for you! I told you."

"Yes, sir. By the way, you have a very nice house."

Short Story #7

Kayama Nemuri was a lonely, single woman in search of a companion. She had recently broke up with her boyfriend, citing complications. Listening to her best friend, Yuu, she decided to go to the pet store in search of a pet. As she perused the store, she really couldn't find a particular critter of interest. Didn't want to leave empty-handed, she decided to settle on this ugly green frog.

As she purchased the frog and took it out of the store, she returned to her car. When closing the door, she opened the box to see the creature. The frog looked onto the blue-haired woman and winked at her.

Puzzled and startled, the Pro Hero asked, "Did you just wink at me?"

The frog nodded. "I did, M'Lady! The name is Izuku!"


"Yes, M'Lady. I can tell that you are a very lonely woman."

She didn't protest to his speculation. She nodded in agreement.

"Don't feel saddened. For I am lonely, too!"

Normally, the Pro Hero would have been repulsive to a stranger but for some reason, she felt comfortable with the talking frog.

"So, Izuku? What kind of talking frog are you?"

"Actually, M'Lady, I am actually a prince!"

She slammed the brakes when hearing that word. She pulled alongside the highway to address the matter at hand. "A prince? No kidding?"

"I kid you not, M'Lady! I mean, you are talking to a frog and I can grant any desire you want. You won't be sorry."

Nemuri placed her hand over her head. Was she sick? Was she hearing things? Was being without a man getting to her? After a few minutes of thinking, she said, "You know what, why not? I can try anything once."

"Thanks, M'Lady!"

Nemuri puckered her lips together and kissed the frog. Upon doing so, the frog immediately turned into an absolutely gorgeous, sexy, handsome, young prince.

"My God," cried Nemuri when she saw the glorious sight in front of her.

Izuku solemnly bow before his savior. He kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you, M'Lady. You have freed me from this captivity. I am now indebted to you. Whatever you want, whatever you desire, I can make it happen."

She raised her eyebrow, staring at the work of art. "Whatever want."

Sometime later, Nemuri and the young prince entered into a parking lot. Nemuri and the young prince stepped out and approached a building.

"What's this, M'Lady?"

"The first love hotel I can find."

Short Story #8

It was a quiet afternoon at the golf course where Kyoka decided to having a relaxing day to golf. She teed off and watched in horror as the ball headed directly toward another gentleman playing the next hole.

Sure enough, the ball hit the gentlemen, and immediately claspsed his hands together at his crouch, falled to the ground, and rolled around in agony. Kyoka rushed over to the scene.

"Oh, God, I am so sorry," cried Kyoka. "I am so...Denki?"

Denki turned when seeing his former classmate. "Kyoka? It has been awhile." He grabbed himself. "I wish it wasn't under this circumstance."

Kyoka explained that she was a physical therapist and she offered to help ease his pain.

"No, no, I will be fine," said Denki. "I will be okay in the next few minutes." He continued to be in a fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his crouch.

"No, Denki. It is the least I can do to make it better," she told him.

After her persistence, he decided to have her help him. She gently took his hands away and lied them to the side.

"Just relax, Denki," she told him as she loosened his pants and put her hand inside.

She proceeded to massage his penis.

"Does that feel better," she asked while in a blushing matter.

Denki nodded in agreement. "Actually, it feels really great."

"Glad to be of service."

"But my thumb still hurts like hell!"

Short Story #9

A seven-year-old Katsuki asked Izuku what a penis was. Izuku told Katsuki that he didn't know but he would ask his father about it.

Later that evening when his father came home, Izuku asked his father about what was a penis.

His dad gladly exposed himself to his son and, holding his penis in one hand, said, "Son, this is a penis. In fact, if you take a closer look you will notice that this is a perfect penis."

The next day, Izuku saw Katsuki at recess and called him behind a hedge.

Izuku exposed himself and whispered, "This is a penis. In fact, if it were three inches shorter it would be a perfect penis."

Short Story #10

Recovery Girl went to see her dentist. When it was her turn, she sat at his chair in his office. As the dentist addressed her concerns, he saw her lowering her panties and spreading her legs.

"Ma'am, I am not a gynecologist," explained the dentist.

"I know," said Recovery Girl. "I want you to take my husband's teeth out."

Short Story #11

The former Wild Wild Pussycats, turned prostitutes were standing on the corner. Shino and Ryuko were discussing the affairs for the upcoming night when Ryuko took a deep breath before sighing heavily.

"Yep! Tonight's gonna be a great night! I smell cock in the air," exclaimed Ryuko.

Shino looked at Ryuko and wavered her hands. "Excuse me, that was me! I just burped!"

To be continued….

Chapter Text

Before you read, some of these jokes are original, some came from word of mouth from various sources. If I could cite credit, I would. Nevertheless, isn't it fun when it features our characters? READ at your own risk! Thank you guys for your ongoing support. Keep laughing! Enjoy!

Short Story #1

Hisashi Midoriya is sitting at home one afternoon when Little Izuku returns home with a black eye.

"Izuku? What happened?" His arms are crossed. He is upset and fears that Izuku was in another scuffle with the neighbor boy, Katsuki. "And I hope to God that you and that Bakugo boy aren't fighting again!"

He shakes his head. "It is from Sister Kayama."

"Sister Kayama," questions his father.

"Yes!" Little Izuku crosses his arms. "I swear it wasn't my fault." Izuku explains that during the liturgy, he saw Sister Kayama's dress caught in her butt and being the polite Izuku, he pulls the dress from her butt.

"And that is how I caught my black eye!"

Hisashi is bewildered. However, he didn't receive any phone calls from school, so his son must be telling the truth. "Okay, son! Learn not to do anything to get on her bad side." He pats his son's head. "You don't do those kinds of things to women. Understand?!"

"Yes, sir."

"Good, run along." Little Izuku runs outside to play. Hisashi decides to make a phone call to the school tomorrow. But not before getting a quick session in the bathroom with the Natural Geographic magazine with the latest article, "Native Women on the Serengeti."

The next day, Hisashi reads the paper when Little Izuku returns home with the other eye blackened. Upset, Hisashi says, "Icchan! I thought we had a talk."

Little Izuku worriedly shakes his head. "Yes, sir. We did."

"Then what in the heck happened, son?!"

"It wasn't my fault, I swear. During the liturgy, I saw that Sister Kayama had a dress in the crack of her butt. I saw Katsuki and he sees it and he pulls out."

"Then why did you get the black eye?"

"I knew that she didn't like it, so I pushed it back in."

Short Story #2

Katsuki Bakugo was driving down a lonely stretch of highway on his way to meet with fellow classmates for a reunion when he noticed a sign out of the corner of his eye.

Posted in white on a green sign, it read: "Grace House of Prostitution - 10 miles"

The pompous leader thought that it was a figment of his imagination and continued to drive without a second thought. He was tired and just returned from spending the weekend with his parents. The faster he headed back to Beacon, the better. Soon, he saw another sign which said. "Sisters of Grace House of Prostitution - 5 miles."

He realized that these signs were legitimate. As he drove forward, he saw a third sign saying: "Sisters of Grace House of Prostitution - Next Exit."

Katsuki's curiosity got the best of him as he pulled into the driveway of Grace House. On the far side of the parking lot was a somber stone building with a small sign next to the door reading: "Sisters of Grace."

He climbed the steps and rung the bell. The door was answered by a nun in a long black habit. The beautiful looking nun reminded Katsuki of a certain brunette that he had scuffles in the past.

"Greetings, my dear and faithful son," said the nun. "What may we do for you today?"

Katsuki answered, "I was on my way back to school when I saw your signs down the highway. I was kind of interested in possibly doing business."

"Really, my son? Aren't you a little young?"

"Judging by the attire of your outfit, especially where your busts stick out and the tightness of it, do you think you are fit to ask me questions?"

The nun sighed. "Very well, my son. Please follow me."

Bakugo was excited as he thought that he was going to engage in a rendezvous with some frilly nuns. He hoped to engage in girls that look like Mei or Kayama-sensei. Or at least Momo or Itsuka.

The Ochako-looking nun and Katsuki were led through many winding passages and was soon quite disoriented. The nun stopped at a closed-door and told Bakugo, "Please knock on this door."

He did what he was told and the door was answered by another nun in a long habit. That nun reminded him of Kayama-sensei. In her hand, she was holding a tin cup. The Kayama-looking nun instructed Katsuki, "Please place $75 in this cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway."

"Is this where I head to the action?"

"Yes, my son. A very hard lesson for you have sinned and need to be reprimanded," she purred to the blond.

He placed the money into the tin cup as he headed down to the hall. He slipped through the door and pulling it shut behind him. As the door locked behind, he found himself back in the parking lot.

"What the hell," he barked.

As he looked forward, he saw another small sign. It read: "You Have Just Been Screwed by the Sisters of Grace! Go in peace, my son!"

Short Story #3

Kato Izumi spends the summer in the country with his aunt, Shino. Taking the role as a farmer, she spends the first few days showing him the usual things of farm life, chickens, cows, crops, a Kappa, a Grimm, and the like.

After a couple of days, the young Kota grows bored and Auntie Shino is running out of things to entertain him.

Suddenly, Aunt Shino has an idea.

"Kota! Why don't you grab the gun, take the dogs, and go shooting."

Wide-eyed and excited, Kota grabs the gun, a Winchester rifle and a few dogs and heads into the room.

Aunt Shino feels accomplished and decides to celebrate by making a spot of tea.

After a few hours, Kota returns. He is doe-eyed and all smiles.

"How did you enjoy that," asks Aunt Shino.

"It was great," exclaims Kota. "Got any more dogs?"

Short Story #4

Minoru goes to the psychologist and informs her, "I got a real problem. I can't stop thinking about sex!"

The psychologist says, "Well, let's see what we can find out."

She pulls out her inkblots. "This is the inkblot test. Tell me what comes to your mind?" She shows the first picture. "What is this picture of?"

Minoru takes the picture and turns it upside down. He says, "it seems like two girls slobbing on another man's dick with sweet and sour honey mustard sauce."

The psychologist says, "Interesting! Very interesting!" She takes notes before showing another picture. "And what is this a picture of?"

Minoru looks and turns it in different directions. He says, "That's a picture of an emerald-haired boy, a Faunus, and a blonde woman performing paizuri on his cock."

The psychologist tries again with a third inkblot test. "What is this a picture of?

Minoru takes the pictures and turns it in different directions again. He says, "It is a woman and she is holding a tail."

"Hmm," says the psychologist. "Anything else?"

"Yep! She is grabbing the tail of an incubus that is like a sex organ. And she is slobbing on his knob like corn on a cob!"

The psychologist nods. "You're right. It seems to me Mr. Mineta that you are obsessed with sex."

"Me," demands Minoru. "You're the one who keeps showing me the dirty pictures." He stops. "Excuse me, may I use the restroom."

"Sure," answers the psychologist.

"Thanks. By the way, you wouldn't mind me borrowing one of those inkblots? For reading material."

Short Story #5

One evening, Little Shouto catches his mother and father have sex.

"What are you guys doing," asks Shouto.

Enji and Rei look at each before quickly coming with an answer. "We are baking a cake, dear," says Enji.

"A cake?"

"Yes," says his mother. "Excuse us and run to bed so we can finish baking the cake."

A few days later, Shouto walks into the kitchen as his mother is cooking dinner.

"Mom? Did you and Dad bake a cake," asks Shouto.

"Yes, dear! How did you know," says Rei.

"Because I licked some of the frosting off the couch!"

Short Story #6

Fourteen-year-old Eri comes home to school with her smile on her face. Her mother, Emi, asks, "why are you so happy this afternoon?"

"Kota showed me his Weiner at PE," answers Eri.

Concerned, her mother is reaching for the phone to contact Shino. As she dials, Eri continues to talk. "His Weiner reminded me of a peanut."

"Was it small," asks Emi.

"Nah! Quite salty!"

Short Story #7

Izuku and Ochako Midoriya are newlyweds. It is a hotel in Lagos, Nigeria where they decide to have their honeymoon and christens their relationship.

Ochako tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"Okay, sweetheart," says Izuku. "Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner.' So what we do is put the prisoner in the prison."

So, the couple makes love for the first time and Izuku is smiling with satisfaction. Nudging him, Ochako giggles, "Honey, the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles and says, "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time, she says, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

Izuku rises to the occasion and they made love again.

After a few hours, Ochako again says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again," to which Izuku yells, "Hey, it's not a life sentence!"

Short Story #8

Mitsuki is clipping coupons when she sees her son, Katsuki, returning home from school early.

"Why are you home so early," asks Mitsuki.

"Kayama-sensei sent me home."

"For what?"

"Because I am the only one in class who raised his hand," answers Katsuki.

She says, "Wow, my son is a genius. What was the question?"

Katsuki replies, "Who called me the 'KFC of UA High?'"

Mitsuki stares blankly at her son. "Why did you call her that, sweetie?"

He shrugs. "When the breast and thighs are done, all is left is a greasy box."

Short Story #1 Reprise

With Hisashi being frustrated and upset that Izuku received two black eyes from Sister Kayama, he decides to contact the school and arranges a meeting with Izuku's teacher.

A few weeks have passed without incident. Hisashi and Little Izuku manages to have an understanding with Sister Kayama and the incident. Believing that everything was going well, Hisashi put it behind him.


Izuku returns home with another black eye with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Icchan! What happened this time?"

"I swear, Dad! It wasn't my fault!"

"Let me guess? You pull her dress from her butt."

"No, sir!"

"You put it back in!"

"No, sir!"

"Then, what did you do?"

"I've only told her what Katsuki told me to say." He reaches for the piece of paper to give to Hisashi. As he gets the paper, he wants to hear what Izuku recited to his teacher. "I'm listening."

"No bitch can tell me she late. The condoms I use don't break!"

Hisashi clutches his heart when realizing that it isn't a letter.


It is an ultrasound.

Short Story #9

Hisashi is having a crisis. He forgets that it is his and Inko's wedding anniversary. As he walks home and right there in his driveway, is his angry wife.

"Hisashi, you blockhead," screams Inko. "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"

"But, honey!"


The next morning, Hisashi wakes up and heads to work. Short on cash and needs to remedy his crisis, he goes to the nearby thift store and comes up with a gift.

Later that morning, Inko wakes up and looks out of the window. Sure enough, Hisashi was a man of his word. Sporting a bathrobe, she walks to the driveway to see a box-wrapped gift in a pretty green bow.

Saw this. Thought of you! With love, Hisashi!

Touched, Inko takes the gift inside of the home and brings it to the kitchen.

Upon placing it on the table, she excitedly opens the gift.

It is a bathroom scale.

Police says to be on the lookout for a missing person. Hisashi Midoriya was last seen leaving his workplace on Friday evening.

Short Story #10

It is at school where Katsuki and Izuku are found in the center of the playground. Circled by their classmates, the duo are exchanging insults at each other.

Katsuki: "Bitch!"

Izuku: "Psycho!"

Katsuki: "Hand-Me-Down Quirk!"

Izuku: "Closet Case!"

Katsuki: "Mama's Boy!"

Izuku: "Mama's Plan B gone awry!"

Katsuki: "Virgin!"

The entire class goes silent when hearing that fretful word.

Izuku: "What did you call me?"

Katsuki: "That's right! I bet you're still a virgin."

Izuku: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."

Katsuki: "As if."

Izuku: "Yeah, just ask your sister."

Katsuki: "I don't have a sister."

Izuku: "You will in about nine months."

Short Story #11

Yuu Takeyama, a devout Catholic, got married and had 15 children.

After her first husband died, she remarried and had 15 more children.

A few weeks after her second husband died, Yuu also passed away.

At Yuu's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together."

Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?"

The priest replied, "I mean her legs."

To be continued….

Chapter Text

Before you read, some of these jokes are original, some came from word of mouth from various sources. If I could cite credit, I would. Nevertheless, isn't it fun when it features our characters? READ at your own risk! Thank you guys for your ongoing support. Keep laughing! Enjoy!

Short Story #1

Ibara Shiozaki is conducting a survey on a group of men for her Sexual Psychology class, on the topic of happiness. Although it goes against her morals as a Christian, especially with her beliefs in waiting until marriage, she still conducts the survey in order to pass University.

She tells the group, "I can prove to you sinners...I mean to you all that the amount of happiness has a relation to the amount of sex you have." Jesus, this is beneath me and such a sin. But, a credit is a credit.

She glances at her audience and sees a man in the right-hand corner, smiling.

"You, sir!"

"It is Iida! Tenya Iida."

Whatever! "Iida, how often do you have sex?"

"Once a month!"

Looking for another happy face, she spots a man in the middle, with a bigger smile.

She points to him. "You, sir!"

"Kirishima! Eijiro is the first name!"

Imbecile! "How often do you have sex?"

"Once a week!" He beats his chest. "Ashido treats me well."

You and the entire Sexual Psychology class as well. That whore! "Thank you!" As she tries to prove (disclaim) her theory further, she sees another man laughing.

"You seem to be a very happy young man. Your name again, sir?!"

"Todoroki Shouta!"

Icy Hot, that's right! "How often you fornica...have sex?"

"Well...every day," he answers happily.

That explains Yaoyorozu needing a cushion during Study Hour. Tae-bo, my rear end. Harlot! "There," she says to the class as she clenches her teeth. "The amount of pre-marital...I mean the amount of happiness is in relation to the amount of sex you have."

At the far off end of the room, she sees a man with his hands in the air, laughing and jumping with so much happiness. "You see like a very desper...I mean happy man. What is your name, sir?"

"Minoru Mineta! Mineta is the name, M'Lady."

The guy that smells like fermented rubberbands. "So, Mineta. How often do you have sex?"

"Once a year," he shouts happily. It gets to the point that he is slamming his head down repeatedly on the desk.

Ibara, puzzled, bewildered, and now curious, she asks Mineta, "What? Then why are you so happy?"

Mineta starts laughing, jumping, and pulling out his hair. "It's tonight! It's tonight! It might be sloppy seconds, thirds, fourths, and eighths, but it's tonight!"

Short Story #2

Whenever Enji Todoroki isn't Pro Hero #2, he is a high-court judge for Musutafu's High Circuit Court. He is at a bar in a high-class hotel where he is a regular visitor. He drinks until it is near twilight. On leaving the bar, he vomits all over his suit. He then staggers to his parked car where he accidentally keys the door. He manages to start the car and goes into oncoming traffic. Unfortunately, no serious accidents, just the occasional "fuck you's," "learn how to drive," and "who gave you a license, Stevie Wonder?"

He arrives at his mansion, hitting his next-door neighbor's dog's tail before crashing his car into a bush. He falls out of the car and staggers to the door. As he hums to "Whistle While You Twerk," he sees his wife, Rei. On seeing his state, she asks what happened. Despite his inebriated condition, the Pro Hero #2/judge thinks quickly.

"I had one or two tall drinks. Hurricane's," he says as he leans on the door. "I was at the Hotel Essex and when I left, some bloody drunken bastard vomited all over me."

"Oh, dear," says Rei.

"Damn right," he says. "Fortunately, the Jakes, I mean the police caught him and he is up to face me first thing in the bloody morning. I will give that Ozpin-looking bastard six months in the clink."

Rei then sends him to the shower and then bed, while she makes him a small dinner and a hot tea. Having put his soiled clothes in the wash, she returns to the bedroom with his food.

"How long did you say you would give the drunken man in jail," she asks.

"Six months," replies Enji.

"Well, you better make it a year because he shat in your boxers as well," says Rei.

Short Story #3

Tenya goes to the University Pub where he encounters a sign hanging over the bar. It reads:

Donburi: 250 yen (about $3.00)

Katsudon: 550 yen (about $6.00)

Handjob: 1200 yen (about $13.00)

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive black-haired girls in maid outfits serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.

"Yes," she asks with an alluring smile. "Can I help you, nyaa?!"

"I was wondering," whispers Tenya, "Are you the one who gives the... hand jobs?"

She claps her hands. "Nyaa! Of course, I am!"

Tenya replies, "Well, go wash your hands, I want a donburi please!"

Short Story #4

Mitsuki Bakugo comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two.

"You damn bloody bastard," she screams furiously.

She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

"Make you think twice for cheating on me!" She spits at the cover.

Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband Masaru there, reading a magazine.

"Darling," asks Mitsuki surprisingly.

He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?"

Short Story #5

Shouta Aizawa is having an affair with his co-worker/colleague Nemuri Kayama. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around eight in the evening.

Preparing to head home, he looks to his clothes. "Nemuri, go outside and rub my shoes in some dirt."

"Your shoes."


Shrugging her shoulders, she complies.

Afterward, he slipped into his shoes and drove home. He is nervous but hopes to God that he will be okay.

It is nearly ten in the evening when he arrives home.

"Shouta Aizawa! Where have you been?" demanded his wife, Emi, when he entered the house. "You had me and Eri worried sick. You better tell me the truth and the entire truth."

"Darling," replied Shouta, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with Nemuri Kayama. You know, the one that spends too much time shopping at Victoria's Secret and Adam and Eve? Yeah, her! I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." He bows to her. "Have mercy on me!"

She hits him with a frying pan."You liar! You must think I am an idiot?"

"No, darling!"

She looks at his shoes. "I knew it, you liar!"

"Spare me!"

"You were playing golf!"

Short Story #6

Hisashi Midoriya is having an affair with Izuku's friend, Melissa Shield. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned eighteen.

"I will do it, darling. For you," she tells Hisashi. "How can I let you know when the child is born."

After moments of quick thinking, he answers, "Write me on a postcard. The code name will be Spaghetti."


"Yes, Melissa. Just write spaghetti and I will arrange child support."

"Okay, darling. For you, I will do it."

One day, about 9 months later, he comes home to his confused wife, Inko.

"Honey," she said, "you received a very strange postcard today."


"Oh! I think from one of my business associates." He takes the card.

"Quite strange, isn't it," questions Inko.

"Never you worry, honey. I will explain later," he tells Inko when he enters his private quarters.

The moment he opens the card, his face turns pale and white. Within the card lies a message.

"Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without."

Short Story #7

Chiyo (Recovery Girl) and her husband were spending the night with their children. When Chiyo's husband found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.

Mr. Shuuzenji's son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad, they're very strong and very expensive."

"How much?" asked Chiyo's husband.

"$10.00 a pill," answered the son.

"I don't care," said Chiyo's husband, "I'd still like to try one."

"Dad, is that wise?"

"Son, it has been ten years. And I want to see what that mouth do."

"Too much information, Dad. But okay." He hands his father the pill.

"If it works, before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."

Later the next morning, Mr. Shuuzenji's son found $110 under the pillow.

He phoned his father and said, "I told you each pill was $10, not $110."

"I know," said Chiyo's husband. "The hundred is from your mother!"

Short Story #8

One day, Mitsuki picks up her son from school. She asks, "Kacchan, how was school today?"

He smiles. "I've had sex with Sensei!"

She nearly loses control of the wheel when hearing that. She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room.

Later that evening, Masaru returns home when Mitsuki gives him the news.

With her arm crossed, she tells him. "Our lovely boy in there slept with Sensei. I think you need to talk to him."

When his father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. "I will talk to Kacchan."

Masaru walks into Katsuki's room when he sees Katsuki lying on his stomach.

"Dear, your mother tells me that you slept with Sensei."

"Yes, sir," he pouts.

"No, I am proud of you. That's great!"


"Sure, honey! Starting early and quickly just like your old man." About time that Kayama-sensei makes a move. I know there are rumors about her and Izuku. But don't blue-ball my son, Nemuri!

He pats his son's back. "As a reward, I am going to buy you a bike."

On the way to the store, Masaru asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home.

"I'm good, Dad," says Katsuki. "My butt still hurts!"

Short Story #9

Denki has been having problems lately with his girlfriend, Kyoka. One day, he learns after spying on Kyoka that she has been faking her orgasms. Depressed, he goes and consults to Katsuki for advice.

"Dude, it is a simple method," says Katsuki. "All you have to do is act."

"Act," asks Denki confusedly.

"Yeah. Pretend that you are someone else. Imagine her to be someone sexy, hot, and drop dead gorgeous," says Katsuki.

"Pretend that she is someone else?"

"Sure. You or her, doesn't matter." Katsuki slaps Denki's back. "Call me in a couple of days and tell me how it works."

A few days passed. The next time Denki and Katsuki meet is at an arcade.

"Bakugo! Good news!"

Katsuki waves his hand from Denki's breath. "Whatever it is, I know it isn't a new brand of toothpaste."

"Screw you! Anyway, what you said worked!"

Denki tells him that he pretended that Kyoka was a member of the Wild, Wild Pussycats. He informs Katsuki that not only did Kyoka climaxed but she came over three times.

"And I have the sheets to prove it," says Denki pridefully.

Before Katsuki responds, he sees Eijiro approaching him.

"Denki! Katsuki! 'Sup," asks Eijiro.

"Yo!" Denki says before witnessing Katsuki and Eijiro kissing each other. Katsuki tells Eijiro that he is almost finished before leaving them alone.

Bewildered and surprised, Denki says, "Are you and Eijiro…"

"Yes, but don't tell Momo. Okay?"

"I thought you and Momo are an item?"

"We are. She is a rich accessory."

"I am confused."

Katsuki snickers as he crosses his legs. "In a way, I can understand Kyoka. Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship."

Short Story #10

Pixie-bob was having issues with her husband, Hawks. She was nagging her husband to cut the grass, to which he answered, "What do I look like to you? A landscaper?!"

Next time the sink was dripping, she asked him again, "Honey, can you fix the faucet?"

Hawks replied, "What do I look like to you? A Plumber?!"

Two days later, a light bulb went out and she begged him again, "Honey, can you change the light bulb?"

His reply was, "What am I? An electrician?!"

A few days later, Hawks comes home from work to find that the lawn is cut, the faucet is fixed, the light bulb is changed. Very surprised, he says, "Honey, what happened here?"

Pixie-bob replies, "You know our new next-door neighbor?"

"Neighbor kid, Izuku Midoriya!"

"Yeah, that's the one! He came over and fixed everything."

Hawks says, "Honey, how did you pay him?!"

"Oh, you know," Pixie-bob says, "he told me that I could either bake him a cake or have sex with him."

Somewhat relieved Hawks asks, "Whew, so what kind of a cake did you bake for him?"

Pixie-bob replies, "Who do you think I am? Betty Crocker?!"

Short Story #11

It is at the hospital where Enji lays dying. Rei is sitting at his bedside, holding his hand and in a whisper, he says to her, "Rei, darling. There is something I need to say before I go."

"What is it, honey?"

"I've got a confession to make before I go... I... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe. I spent it on a fling with your best friend, Shino. And it was I who forced your boy toy, Izuku to leave the city. And I am the one who reported your income tax evasion to the government."

"Don't give it a second thought, sweetheart."

He coughs heavily. "Really?"

"Yes, darling. Who do you think gave you the poison?"

Short Story #12

Emi is in the kitchen preparing dinner when her daughter, Eri returns home to school with a question.


"Yes, dear?"

"Where do babies come from?"

Emi thinks for a few seconds and says, "Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex."

Eri looks confused as her mother continues.

"You see that the Daddy sticks his plug into her outlet. That is how a connection is made."


"That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy's vagina. That's how you get a baby, honey." She leans back to the counter. "And often Mommy takes control of Daddy's penis."


"I am sorry. I am saying that when Mommy and Daddy get together, they have a baby."

Eri seems to comprehend. "Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had Daddy's penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?"

"Jewelry, my dear Eri. Jewelry."

Short Story #13 (Caution: my girlfriend told me this joke and this is terribly, terribly wrong).

Yuga Aoyama returns back to his dorm room with a heavy slap to the face. Curious, Minoru asks Yuga a question.

"Dude, what happened?"

"There was a foreigner from China that I was trying to get her number."

"Yeah. Did you?"

"She said that it was Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"

"Wow! Did you get lucky?"

"I try making a move but she slapped me." He scoffs. "It was her friend that later told me that she was actually saying 666-3629."

To be continued….

Chapter Text

Before you read, some of these jokes are original, some came from word of mouth from various sources. If I could cite credit, I would. Nevertheless, isn't it fun when it features our characters? READ at your own risk! Thank you guys for your ongoing support. Keep laughing! Enjoy!

The Management would like to apologize in regards to a recent joke on our last chapter. We never plan to offend anyone of any caliber. The intention is to be joyous and jokingly as humorous as possible. Once again, the Management sincerely apologizes.

Episode #11: "Two Drink Minimum, Please!"

Short Story #1

One afternoon, Emi was preparing lunch when her teenage daughter, Eri ran happily into the home.

"Mama, mama? Guess what I got?"

"A lobotomy?" She slapped her thighs. "I am kidding, sweetie! What do you have?"

Eri reached into her skirt pocket and extended her hand to show her mother $20.

"How did you get that," speculated her mother. She knew that receiving her allowance wasn't for another week. She grew concerned.

"Well, Kota and his friends bet if I could climb the tree at the park, they would give me $20."

Emi wished her daughter wasn't as gullible as she lets herself be. "Oh, honey! They were probably making a bet so they can see your panties."

Eri wagged her finger. "I'd thought the same thing too, Mom! So, I came up with another plan."

"And what was that, dear?!"

"You see, mother, I was smart! I took my panties off! Great idea, huh?"

Short Story #2

University professor Nemuri Kayama approached her student assistant, Izuku Midoriya, with a request.

"Midoriya, I want to have sex with you, but I will make it really quickly! I will throw over a thousand dollars on the floor and by the time you pick it up, I will be finished."

Izuku pondered on his boss' request. A thousand dollars sounded lucrative. All of the honey buns, iced teas, and katsudons he could get. Izuku saw it as a good proposition but informed her that he needed to consult with his girlfriend, Ochako Uraraka about it.

Later that evening, Izuku and Ochako were lying in bed when discussing Kayama-sensei's proposition.

"Although I am against the idea, Izuku baby, but a thousand dollars sounds lucrative." Ochako began pondering on the idea. "Say! Tell Kayama-sensei to make it $2000 and we got a deal!"

"Are you sure, baby?"

"Yeah! C'mon, Izuku! $2000! Just be really quick and fast with it. With your supple ass, it will be too blinding for the old bat to even pull down a pantyhose."

"Alright, baby!"

The next day, Ochako was sitting outside of the university library when she received a phone call from Izuku.

"Hey, baby! Did you get the money?"

"We got a problem!"

"What problem!"

"Kayama-sensei has it in coins," said Izuku while straining to keep his composure on the phone in the midst of moans. "So, I am still picking it up and she is still having sex with me."

"C'mon, Midoriya baby! Work for your money! Work for it! Give it to me! Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Short Story #3

One day, Shouto learned that she was growing hair between her legs. She decided to inform this to her mother, Rei. Rei began laughing upon hearing the news.

"Oh, don't worry, sweetheart! That part where your hair is growing is called your monkey!"

"My monkey?"

"That's right! If hair is growing from your monkey, be proud!"

Later that evening, Shouto was sitting in the dining room with her family. She was feeling proud of the hairs growing from her monkey.

As they were eating, she whispered to her older sister, Fuyumi. "Hey, Fuyu-chan! Guess what? My monkey has grown hair."

Fuyumi raised her eyebrows, appeared unconcerned about her sister's announcement. "That's it?! Shoot! My monkey is already eating bananas!"

Short Story #4

Enji Todoroki returned home from the doctor to tell his wife startling news.

"Sweetheart, Dr. Shuzenji informed me that I have the consumption."

His wife, Rei, nearly dropped her tea pitcher when hearing the news. "Oh, God!"

"Yes, dear!" He went on his knees, crawling to his wife and lying on her lap. "Dr. Shuzenji told me that I have 24 hours to live.

Given this prognosis, Enji asked his wife for sex. Naturally, she agreed and decided that they will make love.

About six hours later, Enji was lying and bed, cradling his wife. Feeling refreshed, he asked Rei, "Sweetheart, you know I now have only eighteen hours to live. Could we make love one more time?"

Rei didn't object. Of course, she wished that her reformed, yet stubborn husband consider the option of their children. However, it was quite a while since they had hot, passionate sex. So, they do it again.

Another few hours passed. Enji lied on the bed satisfied after another hot, passionate session. Reaching for a cigarette, he saw his cell phone. He realized that he now has only eight hours later.

Rei was drinking a bottle of water when the tearful husband grabbed Rei's supple breasts. "Sweetheart, another please?"

"Enji, what about the kids?"

"We can't involve the kids!" He put his finger to his lips. "I mean if you think my final moments with them by doing an orgy can be a pining experience."

Rei put her hand under her chin while resting her elbow on her other hand.

[Cue Spongebob pedal steel guitar]

"No! Any final moments you want to make to our kids?"

Enji was in a praying position. "Please, Rei! One more time, please! The kids will have lots of money. Fuyumi can have the Mercedes. Natsuo, the boat. Toya, the keys to my condo in Lagos."

"A condo in Lagos," questioned Rei surprisingly.

"Shouto! I promise that Shouto will read the secret journals of my affections and the ill mistakes. Money, lots of money! And to you, Rei, precious rubies and diamonds in my safe off the coast of the Ivory Coast." He cupped her breast again. "Please, honey, one more time!"

Seeing his piteous look honestly was turning on the wife. Never in their twenty-something years of marriage did he look like that. Snot dripping out of his nose. His eyes were a stream of tears. Felt good to be pummeled for all the right reasons.

Rei grabbed the lube, Like A Virgin, and released a haughty smile. "Let's make this last time the kinkiest of your life."

The hot, passionate, fiery, grabbing-gravel-with-their-knees sex was the best they have had since...ever. The bedpost was broken. Walls were cracked. The foundation was crooked. And Enji even shot holes through the roof.

Rei was spent. Satisfied while smoking rapier-laced marijuana. Enji was covered up, still feeling blissful from his previous session.

As he was looking for his cell phone, he saw that he only had four hours left.

"Oh, God," cried Enji. Rei was searching through his wallet for the key codes to that particular condo in Lagos when hearing his cries. "FOUR HOURS! I have four hours left." Turning to Rei. "Baby, I was wondering…."

Rei grabbed a magazine and her lubricant before tossing it on the bed.

"Jesus, Enji! I love you and all, but damn. I am tired and I have to get up in the morning. You don't!"

Short Story #5

Nemuri and Emi were having lunch together, discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery.

Nemuri said, "I am going to be honest with you, Emi. I think of having a boob job."

"Really," said Emi.

"Yeah! There is a certain cinnamon roll that needs some milk with his snack," said Nemuri.

"Awkward and Rule 34ish," said Emi. "Well, since we are going, to be honest, Nemuri. I am thinking of having my asshole bleached."

Her response released slight laughter from the blue-haired woman.

"What," questioned Emi.

"It was funny! I just can't picture your husband as a blonde."

Short Story #6

Two bored casino dealers, Neito Monoma and Minoru Mineta, were waiting at a craps table. Suddenly, they encountered a former classmate, Pony Tsunotori approaching their table.

"Gentlemen," she winked at her former classmates. "Long time no see!"

The blonde placed $20,000 on the table.

"$20,000, boys," exclaimed the blonde.

"On a single game," asked Neito.

"Yep! Yep," exclaimed Pony. "I hope you don't mind, but I feel luckier when I am nude."

Minoru pushed Neito out of the way when hearing that announcement. "Sure, Babydoll. What your dumba...I mean heart desires."

With that, she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Mama needs new clothes." Then, a few moments later, she yelled, "I won! I won! Holy Weiss, yes!"

She jumped and hugged each of the dealers, even pecking Minoru on the cheek. With that, she picked up her additional winnings and her clothes and quickly departed."

Minoru and Neito stared at each other dumbfoundedly. After a few moments, Neito asked, "what did she roll?"

Minoru answered, "I thought you were watching!"

Meanwhile, Pony was walking down the escalator to the parking lot with her winnings. "Dumbasses!"

Moral of the story - not ALL blondes are dumb!

Short Story #7

Eri was walking into the kitchen as her mother, Emi, was preparing for dinner. While her father, Shouta, was sleeping on the couch, she decided to take in her heart to ask her mother the ultimate question.

"Mommy, where do babies come from?"

Emi paused in her tracks. She remained calm. By this time, a six-year-old will become curious about the question. After wiping her knife on her apron and thinking for a few seconds, she said, "well, princess. After Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married, they go inside the bedroom where they kiss and hug...a lot."

"Like when I hug and kiss Kota on the cheek at the Valentine's Day Dance?"

"No, sweetheart. That was a friendly kiss." Emi looked to the ceiling, asking God for forgiveness. "You, see, Eri. The kissing and hugging to make babies will require lots and lots of work." She sighed heavily. "Do you know about your special spot." She pointed at her crotch. "The place where you pee?"

"Umm, umm!"

"Well, the same place where your daddy and Kota pees, it will go inside where you go potty."

"Really, Mommy!"

Emi nodded approvingly. "That's right, sweetheart," she said while giving a thumbs up. "A boy's pee-pee goes inside a girl's tee-tee and nine months later, a baby pops out."

Eri stared blankly at her mother. "And that is how a baby is born?"

"Yes, dear. That is about it." She slapped her hips. "Of course, it gets more technical when you get older." She winked. "So, protect your no-no zone until you are old enough to buy cigarettes."


Thank God she is still a kid.

As Emi resumed to cook, Eri wanted to ask another question. "Mommy?"

"Yes, sweetness!"

"So, the other day when I accidentally walked in on you putting your mouth on Daddy's pee-pee, what were you trying to do?"

Emi developed a nervous smile. "Well, Eri. Daddy was being an awfully good boy on buying Mommy some jewelry."

BD: Hey, GOTA! Why does this look familiar?

GOTA: It was seen in episode #9. This version is more amended!

BD: Oh, carry on! Short Story #8

One weekend, Keigo (Hawks) was shaving in the restroom when the neighbor boy comes inside the bathroom. Keigo hired Izuku to mow his yard and assist his wife, Yuu (Mount Lady), with the garden.

As Izuku was peeing, Keigo couldn't help noticing how endowed Izuku was.

"Izuku, I couldn't help noticing how blessed you are," said Keigo.

Izuku blushed. "Golly, sir. Well, I can't help what God delivered." He looked away. "Just signed the package."

"And how," said Keigo. "Now, for a teenager, how are you able to have such girth?"

Izuku put his finger to his lips. "Well, admittedly this package wasn't an overnight thing. An older woman taught me the trick to get my penis to this current size."

Keigo could figure that an older woman dipped his paintbrush. It mattered not as he wanted to know the secret.

"Well, I've learned whenever I am putting a girl to bed, I whack my penis three times on the bedpost."

Keigo raised his eyebrow. "Really? Just like that!"

"It worked with that older woman," said Izuku. "Since then, my girth expanded and the girls love it."

Keigo nodded in agreement. "You know what, Izuku? I will look into that!"

Later that night, Keigo prepared to head to bed with his already sleeping wife. While she was lying in bed, Keigo walked into the dark room naked. In smiles, he approached the bed. He placed his penis on the bedpost and whacked on it three times."

That emitted a moan from the misses. "Hmm-hmm!" Yuu said while half-asleep. "Is that you, my darling Izuku?"

Short Story #9

Izuku was coming home from school when he saw that his pet sparrow was dead. Izuku dropped to his knees and mourned for his recently departed pet of five years.

Izuku's father walked outside to see his distressed son. He rushed to his comfort.

"Daddy! Our pet sparrow is dead his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs like that?"

Hisashi needed to be solution-oriented. Then, in came an idea. "Well, dear! That's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the sparrow straight up to heaven."

"Really, Daddy!"

"Sure, honey! Your sparrow are in the hands of our Lord."

"Okay, Daddy!"

A few days later after Hisashi returned home from a business trip, he was rushed by the embracing arms of his son. "Daddy, Daddy! We almost lost Mommy today!"

"What do you mean?" asked his father.

"Well Daddy, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mommy, flat on her back with her legs in the air, screaming, 'Oh, God! Oh, God, I'm coming! I'm coming!' If it hadn't of been for Uncle Toshi holding her down, we'd have lost her for sure!"

Hisashi looked at his son. "Say, honey! Are Uncle Toshi and your mother upstairs?"

"Yes, Daddy!" Izuku saw his father walking upstairs.

"Where are you going, Daddy?"

"Going to see Uncle Toshi about a sparrow."

Short Story #10

Tsuyu Asui was sitting next to the fireplace while knitting her little pajama set. She is pregnant and is expecting her fourth child. As she continued knitting, each of her children came to see their mother.

"Mommy," said the first child. "Are you excited about being a Mommy again, ribbit?!"

"Sure, honey," replied Tsuyu to her daughter. "Did you know I've named you based upon what touched me during my pregnancy?"

"Then why am I called Leaf," said her daughter.

"Well, because when I was pregnant, a leaf landed on my tummy."

The second child, a boy raised his hand. "Mommy? Why was I named Snow?"

"Well, sweetheart! When I was pregnant with you, a snowflake landed on my tummy."

The third child, a girl, raised her hand. Unlike her brother and sister, she needed special assistance. She looked unto her mother. Tsuyu smiled. "Take your time, sweetheart, ribbit! I can wait."

The third child began to speak. "wHy dID yOu cAll mE CiNDeRbLocK?"

To be continued….