It was yet another agonising day for Oliver. Working on the new album was driving him insane, he was so close to the man he loved but he felt like he was a million miles away. He was grateful to be alone right now, the man on his mind was Jona, the guitarist and occasionally inspiration for their band. He was out grabbing some coffee from the nearest shop. Studio coffee wasn't the greatest, Oliver refused to touch it. During their time working on the album, he kept telling himself to say something to Jona, fuck everything else, why shouldn't he be allowed to say what he wanted? Despite telling himself that every morning since they started recording, the words just wouldn't leave his mouth. Oliver sighed to himself, brushing off those thoughts, he curled into the couch and began writing; maybe he could at least get those thoughts onto paper even if he couldn't say them.
Jona was reluctantly making his way back to the studio, coffee's in-hand; it wasn't that he didn't want to be at the studio. He loved making music, loved being in a band, loved Oliver...Which was a problem, Oliver was his friend, someone Jona considered close to him, he didn't want to ruin that or effect the band because of it. Only him and Oliver were at the studio today, Jona had offered to help finalise some lyrics that Oliver was struggling with, the rest of the band wanted to have a day off. Jona was also worried that Oliver would push himself too hard, at least if he was there, he could keep an eye on him. Once Jona entered the studio, he noticed Oliver sat writing, "Hey, I'm back. Working hard?"
"Yeah," Oliver turned to Jona, closing his notebook, "I didn't expect you back so soon."
Jona placed the coffee's on the table, taking his own from the holder, "It's really cold outside, not many people around," He sat at the table, Oliver soon joining him, "Any more ideas?"
"Not really," Oliver sighed, he'd been wracking his mind ever since he sat on the couch; he grabbed his own coffee and took a sip before speaking again, "I think I've got writers block."
Jona nodded, he understood what the writing process was like and he'd seen other people just as Oliver was now, "I've got an idea. Someone told me once, if you close your eyes and picture the person that you like, then inspiration strikes! Say what you like about that person."
"Really?" Jona smiled at him, Oliver shrugged, closing his eyes. Though, with the guy he liked sitting right in front of him, he felt that it was pointless, "Well, he's funny," Oliver smiled, Jona always managed to make him laugh at something, "He's attractive," That was true, Oliver had found himself staring probably one-too-many times, "He's a really good friend."
Jona's heart was hammering in his chest at Oliver's words, he had to take a breath before speaking, "Any ideas for some lyrics then?" Oliver nodded, he flipped to a blank page in his notebook and began writing, "I can't believe we're nearly finished with this album," He stood up and took his guitar, lightly strumming a few cords, "It'll be nice to have an actual break from recording before tour."
"Yeah, sorry to drag you into this today. You could have taken the day off too, hung out with the guys instead of being stuck here."
Jona shrugged, "I don't mind. Besides, the quicker it's done, the longer rest we have before touring. Any ideas for where we're going to go?"
"Not quite yet. I'd love for us to play Download again. UK tour, American tour, the usual places probably," Oliver watched Jona closely, he liked to take any moment that he could to just watch Jona play. He shook his head, they needed to get this finished. It was the last song that Oliver wanted finished for the album, he and Lee did have some lyrics wrote down, Oliver wanted to finish them, "Hey, come and read them for me?"
"Sure," Jona placed his guitar back on it's stand and headed over to Oliver; his eyes read over the lyrics that he had. All is fair in love and war, so they tell me. All is fair in love and war, so they say. Come on, come on; get up, get up. I know a place that we can get away from all of this. "This will be great," He grinned down at Oliver, stepping back when he realised just how close he'd gotten to the singer, "I think the guys will love this. It'll work perfectly. Any title for this song in mind?"
Oliver groaned, slumping against the table, "No. Help me write some ideas?" Jona smiled, he sat down again, grabbing a spare pen from the table; Oliver slid him a blank sheet of paper and the two began working on some title ideas. The hours ticked by, both occasionally drinking away at their coffee's, this was always the best part of song-writing for Oliver, picking a title, even if sometimes it drove him crazy. He yawned, turning to check the clock, "Wow, it's getting late."
"It is?" Jona looked up too, glancing over at the clock, "Jesus, we've been working for ages. Come on, we should get some rest."
Oliver nodded, they stood up, both stretching after sitting for longer than they had realised, "I've been thinking about some of the songs," He picked up their trash and dumped it into the recycling; they headed out of the studio together, Oliver making sure to lock up behind them, "I like the idea of a couple of collaborations."
"That would be fun. There's still a few left to record anyway, before the album will be done, what you thinking?"
"I figured Josh would be perfect for some vocals on Fuck, I've been playing around a lot with what would work for that song. I think it's my favourite."
Jona smiled, curiosity was niggling in the back of his head, so he had to ask, "Is Josh the one you like? I know you two spend a lot of time together, he always makes you laugh."
"God, no," Oliver chuckled, "Of course he's a great guy and all. Not my type and he has a girlfriend anyway. We're just best-friends."
Jona nodded, "Yeah, I know about her. I'm just getting curious, you know, if you want to ever talk about it. I'll listen."
"Thanks, I don't think I'm ready for anyone to know yet. Hell, I haven't even told Josh yet and he's always my go-to for chats," Oliver shook his head, grinning at the way Jona was acting. It made him feel giddy that Jona wanted to know so badly, "What about you anyway, you like someone?"
Jona looked away, a little embarrassed, "Yeah, someone really special to me. I don't know how to tell him though."
"Would you ever tell me who it is?"
Jona shrugged, it was Oliver, which meant he supposed he wouldn't say anything, unless by some miracle Oliver ever felt anything towards him, "I guess not. I understand where you're coming from. Even though we're friends, it's hard to have something like that out in the open. I'm not very good with expressing how I feel anyway. What about the other guy's? If it's a close friend."
"Jona," Oliver couldn't help but smile, God, Jona made him so blissfully happy, he couldn't help himself, "It's not one of them either, and I probably wouldn't tell them before my best-friend knew," They arrived back at the apartment that they were all sharing; it was quiet, Oliver let them in and he began to head towards his room, "Goodnight Jona."
"Night." Jona headed off to his own room, his heart still pounding in his chest, everything Oliver said replaying over in his brain. It's not one of them. Oliver's smile was mesmerising too, his laugh like music to his ears. When he was ready to sleep, he practically threw himself onto the bed, all this false-hope was driving him nuts. Maybe he should just tell Oliver how he felt? Fuck no, that could ruin everything between them and he'd rather have friendship than nothing at all.
When morning came, Jona was the first one awake, he made some pancakes for everyone to share then went to check on them; just as he was about to knock on Oliver's door, he heard muffled sobs from the other side and his heart dropped. He could just about hear Oliver talking, and assumed he was on the phone, "What do I do?" His voice cracked and Jona was sure his heart shattered at the noise, he wanted to knock on the door and comfort Oliver more than anything, "No-one could love me," Hearing Oliver so broken was tearing Jona apart. He could! He did love Oliver, if only Jona could man-up and tell him, maybe Oliver would feel better. But...He liked someone, Jona clenched his hand into a fist, angry at himself for even thinking about prying into Oliver's life like this, "You're right Josh, I need to be honest with him. Maybe it can work out. Thanks for talking. Bye."
Jona waited, then slowly knocked on Oliver's door, there was a short pause before the door opened slightly, "Hey, it's just me. I made pancakes," The sad look adorning Oliver's features made Jona want to reach out, "Are you alright?"
"Yeah. I just got upset about something stupid. Sorry for being a downer."
Jona furrowed his brows, without thinking, he pulled Oliver into a hug, "Oli. Never apologise for getting upset. We all have those days where everything feels like it's too much. I'm here if you need me."
"Thanks," Oliver sighed, taking a second to indulge in the way Jona held him, his mind racing to one thought: but not how I want you. It couldn't be, despite what he'd said to Josh, he just couldn't open up. He slowly pulled away from the embrace, a little reluctant to be leaving Jona's arms, "We should wake the others for breakfast."
Jona nodded, but he didn't move, "I'm worried about you, can we talk later?" Oliver nodded, Jona smiled then headed off to wake the rest of the guys up. Oliver was quiet throughout breakfast, Jona kept sneaking glances at him any chance he got; he was really worried about Oliver, the singer had barely cracked a smile when Lee had made some stupid jokes.
Once they had all finished eating, Matt had offered to clean up the plates. Leaving Jona with nothing to do, he looked to Oliver, who noticed the gaze and rose a brow. Jona simply tilted his head towards the back and headed out, not waiting for Oliver to follow him. When he heard the door closing, he turned around, "Is this later then?"
"Yeah," Jona tried a smile, but he couldn't even fake one, not with the look of despair on Oliver's face, "Can't you talk to me? I've never seen you so upset before. You can talk to me, I won't judge you."
Oliver swallowed, looking away from Jona, "I know. But it's too much, I can't. The guy I love...He won't ever feel the same." He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment; he felt warmth envelop him and he opened his eyes, then returned Jona's hug.
"Life isn't easy Oli, sometimes we need to take risks," Jona almost laughed at that, he didn't even follow his own advice, "So what if you get turned down? Say fuck it, move on and find another fish." Yeah, he should definitely follow his own advice.
Oliver smiled, he slowly pulled away from the hug, "Thanks. You're a good friend," Jona's heart practically skipped a beat at those words; he couldn't help it any longer. This situation was becoming all too much for him. He wiped away the tears on Oliver's cheeks, he hadn't even realised he'd been silently crying, "Thank you."
"Hey, it's what I'm here for." And more. God, he couldn't keep driving himself insane like this, with his hands still on Oliver's cheeks, he threw caution to the wind and leaned down to kiss him. Oliver felt completely rooted to the spot where he was stood, it took him a second to respond to the kiss, but once he did, he didn't want it to end; his arms wrapped around Jona and he pulled him closer, deepening the kiss as he did.
Jona couldn't have been happier when Oliver responded to the kiss, he felt that it was safe to think that it was him who Oliver loved. His heart felt like it was dancing in his chest, joy taking over his entire body; when they broke the kiss for air, Jona simply pressed their foreheads together. Oliver let out somewhat of a breathless laugh, "Wow. I had no idea."
"Me neither. See, take the leap, it works out."
Oliver pulled back a little, a grin lighting up his entire face and it made Jona smile too, glad to see him happy again, "I love you."
"I love you too. We're pretty dumb, huh?" Jona laughed, Oliver chuckled along with him, "They're probably wondering what the fuck we're doing out here," He nodded his head towards the building, "Should we tell them now, or do you want to wait?"
Oliver pondered on it for a moment, "Now, I don't care what they think about us. I'm too happy right now."
"Okay," Jona smiled, he took Oliver's hand and they headed back inside; Nicholls was the first to notice them, he rose a brow at them holding hands, "We're dating now."
Nicholls just grinned, "About fucking time," At the commotion, Matt and Lee peered around to see what was going on, "Who told who?"
"Finally. Does this mean we can get stop plotting to get you two together?" Matt spoke up, "The eyes you make at each other is ridiculous, how did it take this long?"
Both Jona and Oliver were confused at the reactions, "You guys knew?" Oliver rose a brow, the three just nodded in sync, "I dunno, we were both just wrapped up in messing things up I guess," He looked to Jona, who nodded to confirm that it was true, "But we're still going to make eyes at each other, just we'll notice them now."
"Fair enough," Lee rolled his eyes, even though he was happy for them, "Just no fucking on the tour bus, please."
Jona and Oliver laughed at that, shaking their heads; Jona lead Oliver through the apartment to his room, to have some peace and quite from the guys all-knowing faces, "I can't believe they knew," Oliver rolled his eyes, speaking once the door was closed, "They never said..."
"But they were planning on getting us together. Can you imagine that fiasco?"
Oliver grinned, nodding, "God forbid. I'm glad it happened on our own terms. I wouldn't want it any other way."
"Me neither," Jona smiled, he pressed a soft kiss to Oliver's lips, "I'm not surprised they noticed though, I couldn't stop looking at you over breakfast today. Even before though, I could only look at you and hope it would work out somehow."
Oliver laughed at that, "I was the same, I really can't believe they noticed first, we're pretty dense," He kissed Jona, he didn't want to be away from him, he was too happy; this only happened in his dreams, "I have a feeling things will be good for us." Jona nodded, he pulled Oliver close and the two shared a deep kiss. Both were thinking of what was to come; they knew things could work out as long as they were together. Yeah, they'd be fine sticking by each other...