Chapter Text
The breeze blew steadily as she swung through the air, passing different monuments on her way to the meetup location. It was going to be the first time that they knew who was under the mask while being masked up. It was surreal. Even after a year, she still couldn’t get over the sensation of flying through the night. It was always a brilliant way to release all the restless energy she contained. Especially tonight, with the new knowledge of her partner. And the terrifying knowledge the kwamis were keeping from them. She knew that she should trust them and Master Fu, being older than her and whatnot. But that didn’t settle the restless nerves that constantly enveloped her. If they were so close to defeating Hawkmoth, why were they waiting?
“Penny for your thoughts, My Lady?” Chat’s voice startled her, causing her to tumble backward from the perch she started on the edge of the roof.
“Chat! You scared me.” Ladybug gripped onto the railing with her feet as her arm grasped Chat’s tail to pull her back upright. “I’m just thinking about how the kwami’s and Master Fu knows something that they aren’t telling us.” Adr-Chat nodded.
“Yeah… I can understand that.” He took his tail from where it tried wrapping around Ladybug’s legs to twist it in his hands before twirling it. “I have a feeling it’s because of this trip.”
“Really? Why?” Ladybug asked, confusion wrapped on her face.
“I just get the feeling it does. I mean, we are somehow sitting together for the trip.” He pointed out, ears twitching as he looked over at her.
“I guess you have a point.” She trailed off, rubbing her chin as she thought about it.
“Well, we can think about that later and talk about this situation going on right now Maribug.”
“Maribug??” Ladybug looked at him sharply, frowning at that nickname.
“Yeeaahhh.” He drawled out, ears going flat to his head. “Cause we know, now. That changes everything. Or, well, most things.”
“I mean, you aren’t wrong, but…”
“But?”
“But… I don’t know! I am talking to my black cat right now, not my insanely sunny crush. No, I’m talking to the one and the same! The same stupid black cat that puns at the worst times imaginable is the same as the silly goofball of a boy that sits in front of me in most of my classes with the kindest heart. I haven’t fully been able to wrap my head around that!”
“I know…. Which is why I believe we should talk about it.”
“Why?”
“So we can get our bearings.” Chat threw his hands up, looking at her full-on with slouched shoulders. “Come on, Bug. I know this is major. I know we need to clear the air about this. What we are. Who we are. How we act. I know you trust me, as Chat, but you can hardly speak to me out of the mask. Why, I disappoint my father all the time and I never want you to be disappointed. Nathalie is always frowning at something I’m doing, and I’m constantly getting my bodyguard in trouble! I hate that. And stupid Hawkmoth is making my nightmares unbearable. Poor Plagg has not left my side in months because of my night terrors. I have dreams of you dying, Ladybug. Both in and OUT of costume. So yeah, I think there is something we need to talk about.”
“Night terrors? I have them too. The dreams I haven’t told you about! The ones where You have no memories of ACTUAL events!” Her eyes started to tear up. “I’ve had Bunnix come for me! And let me tell you, it was terrifying. I saw things that I never want to see again. And what happened? I’ll never know. Bunnix wouldn’t let me know! How can she do that? Knowing full well I could try and prevent it? With only having the same phrase repeated through my nightmares.” Her bottom lip quivered for the first time, his cheeks already damp from his earlier freakout upon arriving home. “That it was our love that did this?! Chat! I have to deal with so many questions from so many times that you have died protecting me from akumas!”
“Well, I know how you feel! As you know who I am now, you know that I was Aspik!” Chat looked at her as she saw fresh tears start streaming down his face, his tail lashing out behind him. “I watched you get captured so many times. I was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to bring you back and fix everything.”
“That’s how I feel every single time you step in front of me to take a hit. I’m not weak.”
“No, but you’re more important than I am with the end result!” He shouted, causing a slight echo to bounce from their surroundings. “Don’t you dare say that isn’t true.” His voice shook as he spoke barely above a whisper. “Because you know that I can only bring destruction. You have the ability of the miraculous cure.” Gesturing to her he took a step closer. “Protecting you is the ability and power I have beyond destruction.”
“But you are important. You’re important to me.”
“And at one point, that would’ve been enough.”
“Adrien…” Ladybug spoke.
“No. Don’t.” He raised a hand taking a step back. “It’s always Adrien this, Adrien that. I’m so sick of being called and referenced to as Adrien.” His voice changes to a mocking tone. “Adrien, you need to smile more. Adrien, you need to be more stoic. Well, maybe I have depression! My sunny disposition that everyone wants to claim I have? It’s because I know what it’s like to not be happy. To deal with grief alone. Father never let me express my emotions. Mother never let me go to regular school. At least when she was around, my father was more lenient with me. Now that she’s gone, I can’t do anything for myself. I have to be at his beck and call and I’m done. I’m so sick and tired of it. And she was the calm in the open sea.” He began pacing causing Ladybug to stay silent and watch her friend hurt. “The house is always so silently chaotic. It’s so sterile just like a hospital. Father keeps it too clean. Too this, too that. I can barely have the chaos I desire in my room.” A twisted laugh comes from his throat. “Maybe that’s why I got the kwami of destruction. Cause Plagg is such a chaotic little one.”
“Ok, I admit it. We need to talk about this. But. We need to focus on you more.” Ladybug takes a step forward, hand outstretched to wipe the tears off of his cheek. “I am so sorry I’ve made you feel this way. Please know that it wasn’t my intention.”
“I know it wasn’t. And that’s the worst part.” He shakes his head as he presses against it, his cat ears droopy. She was secretly glad he had them, that way she can monitor his moods a little better. “I don’t blame you. I’m just frustrated that I can’t do more.”
“But you do so much.”
“Doesn’t feel like it.”
“Well. Forget about your father. Forget about Nathalie.” He blinked at her blankly. “They aren’t the ones you need to be worried about. Sure, they may control most of your life, but you have to focus on yourself. Your mind is not in a good place, Adrien. Your heart is.” She slid her other hand up to rest on his chest where his heart was placed before slowly going up to his bell, playing with it slightly. A soft sniffle escapes her. “I’m sorry I haven’t noticed this before, before now. You deserve so much happiness. No matter how much rain is in here, clouding your life and thoughts, there is always a rainbow over your head. We call you sunshine for a reason.” She looks up to lightly tap his nose causing his ears to perk up. “I see you struggling, I do. Sure, not as Chat, but as yourself. You are always so confident and sure of yourself in the best way possible as Chat. But without your mask?” She tilts her head to the side as she reaches both hands to cup his cheeks. “I see your pain, Adrien. But I want you to know you are not alone.” Closing her eyes she leans her head forward, meeting his chin gently with her forehead.
“My lady…” He started before sighing, moving to rest his arms around her waist and pulling her close to him, burying his face in her hair. “I’m so terrified. Of so much.” He felt his legs get wobbly before leaning for support on her.
“I know… I am too. But…. It’s us against the world. Right?” She spoke softly into his neck, moving her arms to clutch around his abdomen. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. For a moment it really was just the two of them, against the world. Against everything.
"Us against the world, my lady." He mumbled into her hair. They stood there for a while, taking in each other's embrace, not quite realizing that this is what they needed the entire time. A moment to let all the stress off of their chest and knowing that someone was there for them, understanding them, being in the same position.
“Do you want to sit, detransform, and talk with Plagg and Tikki together?” Ladybug asked, leaning back from the hug and looking up at him.
“Do you think that’ll be a good idea?”
“I’m asking what you think you’ll be able to handle.”
“Well.” He thought about it for a moment, eyes drifting to Paris around them. “What are we going to talk to them about if we did?” He asked with a glance at her gaze.
“What do you want to talk to them about? I’ll let you decide the topic.” Maribug explained, looking from his gaze to his ears, trying to figure out how she could help him the most. There was just a slight shake of the head.
“I don’t know.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “I just… need support.” He shrugged as if his mind wasn’t fully in on it.
“I think you don’t believe that.” She spoke at the same volume, reaching up to caress his cheek gently.
“Yeah…” He trailed off, eyes closed and cat ears drooping. “I don’t know what I need.” He mumbled, peeking his eyes open to look into hers. “You probably know what I need more than I do.” He chuckled humorlessly.
“Now, I don’t know about that. No one can be inside your brain like you can.” Ladybug spoke, looking in his eyes. “We’ve had a long day. Do you think it’s rest that you need?”
“But we didn’t accomplish anything, did we?”
“We did. Just not what we intended on topic wise.” A pout appeared on his lips. “Stop that.” She tapped his lips with her finger. “Talking about you is important.” She spoke honestly. “You and your feelings matter. Whether you agree or disagree.” She gave him a sharp look as he opened his mouth.
“Ok, fine. Maybe some cuddles with Plagg will help me fall asleep. I am getting rather tired.” He blinked slowly at her causing Ladybug to giggle.
“Yeah, Mr. Cat Boy.” She reached up and ruffled his hair between his ears. “You act more catly when you are sleepy. And even though I, for one, find it incredibly adorable, you need sleep.” My love, she added silently.
“But I was feeling fine when I got here.” He pouts.
“But that was before you spoke about your feelings. And when you’ve kept them pent up for some time, it’s bound to make you feel sleepy afterwards. Trust me, I would know.” She ran her hand down from where it was between his ears to cup his cheek. “Go home, text me when you get home, get some rest.” He nodded, ears and tail drooping.
“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” He looked at her, green eyes shining before he took his baton and jumped off their look out, bouncing through the city before she lost sight of him. Now, it was her turn to go home.