My Heart Skips a Beat.
"Come on, Hiccup. Please... answer your goddamn phone!" Her eyes were on the verge of tears, feeling a messy jumble of emotions; lost, weak, helpless, angry, heartbroken. Astrid randomly paced in the university for an hour now after 37 failed attempts to call Hiccup, frequently glancing around hoping to catch an auburn mop or any sign of Hiccup at all.
The number you have dialed is currently unavailable. Please try again later—
Fuck. Everything was a mess.
It's been more than a week since she last saw him, talked to him, heard his voice... since she kissed him.
That was the longest time Astrid never had a single contact with Hiccup in her whole life. Hiccup was basically a constant presence in her life—an essential part of her.
Hiccup was her childhood friend, her life-long best friend, her partner in crime, her Soulmate.
And recently discovered—
True love—the one that made her heartbeat.
She missed him; what Astrid wouldn't give to hear her annoying ill-timed sarcastic jokes in his stupid soothing nasally tone. To hear him enthusiastically speak of another weird invention that was doomed to be trouble.
Oh, gods—why did she ever think at that time that randomly kissing him would be a good idea? Yes! It was the best kiss of her life. But was it really worth losing him?
Did she regret it? She didn't know!
Would she take it back if she had the chance to? She didn't want to.
She probably would have never realized her true feeling if she didn't kiss him. But when?—why did things go wrong?
Worse was that her heart was already invested in him. It was beyond her control now. She finally realized she loved her best friend—and there was no turning back.
Astrid let out a sigh, dismissing the thoughts of her head, finding no success as her mind only began to drift to the said event that transpired last Friday.
"Let me guess... Another failed Friday date with some random guy who asked you out and another Friday night with Hiccup?" Hiccup answered the phone, his voice filled with slight exasperation.
Before Astrid could think of an answer, Hiccup sighed and spoke again. "Fine... Where are you? I'll be there to fetch you in fifteen. Pizza and Beer?"
"Don't forget the worse movie ever marathon... and chick flicks." Astrid tried to joke, but her tone wasn't gonna convince Hiccup—he knew her too much.
True to his words, fifteen minutes later, a very familiar black car managed to find her in one of her favorite spots in the park when she felt like sulking.
"Gods, Astrid what are you doing out here in the cold!" Hiccup rushed to her side, shedding his own coat to wrap it around her shoulders.
She liked how the coat felt perfectly warm and cozy... She can actually smell Hiccup on it which somehow made her feel warmer in her heart and stomach. She found herself hugging the coat and rubbing it on her cheeks making her sigh dreamily.
Wait did she just sigh dreamily like some soft princess? But somehow she couldn't find it in her to care as long as she was with Hiccup.
Astrid gave him a wry smile in response. "Thank you, Hiccup. You are the best... I seriously don't know what I'd do without you."
"I know, I know. I wouldn't either—but you really should listen to me, Astrid. What did I tell you about him?" Hiccup said, but his tone wasn't lecturing in the slightest. He offered his arm which she gladly took and Hiccup began leading her to the car.
"You wanna drive Toothless tonight?" Hiccup offered hesitantly. Astrid only shook her head. Normally there was no convincing Hiccup in letting her drive Toothless and Astrid never passed any opportunity when Hiccup rarely submitted. But today she didn't know... she felt like she just wanted a quiet time with her best friend.
The drive back to the apartment was mostly quiet. A low volume music playing in the background and Hiccup asking her if she's comfortable or fine—not that it was awkward. He just knew her too well and understood when she didn't feel like talking.
She actually fell asleep, when Hiccup woke her up and she noticed that they were already parked outside a very familiar building. She also noticed how Hiccup reclined her seat and how she ended up wearing a neck pillow. That damned dork... Astrid thought, feeling herself smile warmly.
Hiccup ever the gentleman, immediately rushed outside the car to open the door for her. Not that she needed it, but when the gesture was coming from Hiccup. She somehow didn't mind being treated like a lady knowing he's just Hiccup; not some guy trying to show-off. It was actually nice to be pampered by someone she knew that actually cared about her.
She was surprised to find that their apartment was already set and prepared as if Hiccup had foreseen everything will happen. The Pizza box, Bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken already placed on the table positioned in front of the couch. The fridge is already filled with pints of ice cream and several bottles/cans of beer. And Netflix already on the television with the playlist of movies waiting to be played.
Why couldn't be there be more boys like Hiccup? And why was Hiccup even single!? Seriously, are the girls really that blind not see something in her best friend.
But somehow, she was actually glad at the thought of Hiccup being single... Would he still have time for her when he's out there with another girl? Would they still be best friends? God knows how girls could be overly jealous and protective of their man. Astrid wouldn't blame the girl—if ever Astrid was Hiccup's girlfriend, she would murder anyone who attempted to flirt with him.
They started off the Friday night with an Action movie. While Astrid would spend most of the movie imagining the face of every guy about to be beaten up to be Brandon Jensen. Hiccup spent most of the time complaining about how action movies are all about incredibly perfect handsome buff guy who saved the day and got the girl. Astrid could somehow sympathize with Hiccup in that one. Because in the real world boys as hot as those action stars were probably too full of themselves.
("Seriously, how is that even fair! How could Brad Pitt still looked perfectly perfect when he's supposed to appear so dirty and filthy in this scene." Hiccup whined. "And Bravo! He just needed a boost so it's perfectly convenient for a ladder he needed just at that moment to randomly lay there as if the world is adjusting for him!")
For the second movie, they decided to watch some hipster's romantic movie. The alcohol also started to kick-in their brains which made them a lot more vocal throughout the movie. By the time they are finished with the movie, both of them are a little drunk and decided they are finished watching.
(This time Astrid found it a lot easier to share her failed date story with Hiccup.)
"I just don't understand it Hiccup! Why didn't I feel anything at all when I kissed him!" Astrid confided, a little tipsy having maybe drunk after chugging a couple can of beer. "Okay, maybe I felt a little bit of something close to disgusted..."
"It's because he's only aiming to get into your pants... Boys like him don't deserve you, Astrid."
Astrid was not sure if it was alcohol that made Hiccup's voice so alluringly soothing...
Out of impulse she grabbed her best friend by his shirt and pulled him for a kiss—
She didn't expect to find what she was searching for
The moment their lips touched, Her heart skipped a beat—
But he didn't kiss back.
After that, everything was just blurry and next thing was Hiccup acting indifferently cold towards her, and he stopped coming back to their apartment even though his things were still there—
As if her thoughts summoned him; a familiar auburn mop entered her peripheral vision.
"Hiccup! Wait!" Hiccup stiffened for a moment but only continued to walk, pretending not to hear her.
"Can we talk..." Astrid begged, "Please, Hiccup, I can't do this anymore."
He finally stopped; Astrid hesitantly grabbed him by his arm to prevent him from walking out again.
(Why did it hurt her so much; the hesitance to touch him and feeling him immediately stiffen and the contact)
"Nope." Hiccup said, his voice controlled, emotionless, and flat.
"Why-Why are you acting like this all of a sudden? Why are being so cold—"
"Correction. It was supposed to work this way, Astrid. Everything was a mistake—pretty Girls like you aren't even supposed to be talking to Guys like me. Come on Astrid, admit it... I was just lucky to be your childhood friend. We don't even belong in the same world." Hiccup then shrugged her hold on him and continued to walk without even looking at her.
What's going on? Why was he even bringing this up? Aren't they supposed to be true friends, thick like thieves? He should know that Astrid didn't care about any of those. If anything she wouldn't hesitate to give up everything if it meant being with him. Status, Popularity, Not-so-friends.
Or was she only saying this because she realized her feeling for him? Would she actually do the same if she never knew... before the kiss.
"Then I'd rather be ugly than stop talking to you!" Astrid intercepted him, stepping in front of him to block his way.
Hiccup only closed his eyes, took a deep breath before he opened his mouth. "Unfortunately for you—you're not will never be. So why don't you just do us both a favor and stop. You don't have to spare my feelings."
"W-What do you mean by that!?"
Hiccup took another long-drawn sigh before he finally snapped. "For Thor's sake—I've always loved you okay! But we all know that you're Astrid Fucking Hofferson and I'm Hiccup. I've always known that it's not possible, and yet, I've always clung to this sliver of hope that maybe you would feel the same. But I knew that it's not gonna happen and never will."
Hiccup paused, catching his breath. "Then you kissed me... Of course, you didn't feel anything. While I was there so stunned and paralyzed that I couldn't even kiss back even if it's the only chance I get to kiss you. Then when I finally got on my senses, you had that look on your face... I knew from that look how you immediately regretted it... I mean why wouldn't you if Brandon Jansen couldn't make you feel anything..."
Astrid didn't have the words.
All the answer she was looking for was there. Hiccup likes—No LOVE her.
He couldn't kiss back because he was surprised. Even that was so Hiccup...
A multitude of contradicting feelings begun erupting in her chest. Anxiety and Serenity. Happiness accompanied by a twinge of Sadness. Feeling courageous and scared at the same time—
But mostly she felt this unbearable warm lightness spreading in her chest making her feel so strong. So powerful. So assured that she felt like could take on the whole world.
As long as Hiccup loved her.
She was about to speak but Hiccup continued. "And don't you dare lie to me, Astrid—"
Astrid interrupted him by grabbing his loose tie, pulling him down for a kiss. Astrid was not mistaken. There it was again, the explosive feeling in her chest, the electricity running through her veins, the feel of every single pulse in her body resonating in one big beat.
This time for sure. If he still doesn't kiss back—Astrid will just have to kiss him silly to make sure he felt what she felt, again and again.