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Beneath the earth

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Her long, golden hair falls in a curtain around their faces.

 

Sarek can’t seem to stop kissing her and Jim indulges him gladly, stretched out on top of him with her fingers curled around his shoulder, angling her head just so to deepen the kiss even more. The hands on her back wander accross her bare skin greedily, mapping her by touch and pulling her even closer, if possible, to the point of crushing her breasts against his chest. Jim groans into Sarek’s mouth, pain and pleasure shooting up her spine. The arousal swirling in her lower belly grows sharper as her Vulcan lover pushes his hips up, grinding into her once but hard and nearly throwing her off with the force of his thrust.

 

With a heavy exhale, Jim abandons Sarek’s lips to mouth at his throat, teasing his Adam’s apple with the tip of her tongue, tasting the salt of his sweat off his skin with an avidity that surprises even her.

 

Sarek lets out a languid sigh, threading his fingers into her blonde locks. “James.”

 

Jim hums in response, leaves a trail of soft kisses across his shoulder, his upper chest, desire twisting her insides as she finally allows herself to discover this man fully, to appreciate his sculpted body that’s nothing but firmness and muscles under her hands, to draw out the pleasure in a way she’s never done before.

 

There’s no one but them this time. It’s just her and Sarek and the pleasure they’re effortlessly giving to one another, the guilt that has followed Jim for months thankfully nowhere to be found for now.

 

As if in a daze, she drags her mouth further down, the dark hair on Sarek’s chest tickling her nose and chin, filling her senses with his musky, masculine scent, with the light fragrance of incense and spices that she’s come to connect with him only. It makes her lightheaded and, without thinking, Jim takes the skin of his underbelly between her teeth and gently bites.

 

It tears a quiet moan out of Sarek. Wordlessly, he tugs her down even more. Jim quickly gets the message.

 

For the first time, she hesitates. Even after all their… sexual experimentations, she’s never given Sarek a blowjob and he’s never asked for one either. It’s not that Jim lacks the experience or the knowledge but, and as ridiculous as it sounds considering everything else they’ve done together, she could never bring herself to perform this intimate act on him.

 

Jim clutches the Vulcan’s thighs, nervously licking her lips. The sight of the thick, greenish erection intimidates her more than she would like and, before she can change her mind, she forges ahead and takes the head of that alien cock into her mouth.

 

Sarek lets out a sound she’s never heard from him before, a long throaty moan that has her digging her nails into his skin and sucking harder. It’s strange, surreal even, to feel his hot length stretching her lips wide, the weight of it on her tongue, all of it.

 

“You are exquisite,” Sarek hisses lowly with an appreciative touch to the side of her face.

 

Jim closes her eyes and breathes heavily through her nose, wrapping a hand around the base of Sarek’s cock and trying to take him deeper into her mouth, inch by inch, slowly adjusting to his girth. She thinks she hears Sarek crying out her name, but it’s hard to register anything past the sound of her heart going wild in her ears and the taste of the alien precum bursting across her palate.

 

The hold on her hair turns painful and Jim gasps around Sarek’s throbbing shaft, entirely unprepared for the way he suddenly buckles his hips and thrusts into her mouth. Her gag reflex kicks in and Jim hastily pulls away, the warm erection slipping from her sore lips with a lewd sound, leaving her panting and a little queasy. Sarek doesn’t give her enough time to catch her breath, just pulls her abruptly to him and rolls them over, so quickly that it leaves her dizzy.

 

Absentmindedly, Jim puts her hands on his shoulders, entirely pressed to the mattress by the weight of his body. “Sarek, what –…”

 

A sudden pressure on her clit cuts her off and Jim tosses her head back on the pillows, lips parted in a silent cry. Sarek drops a kiss on her gaping jaw, breathing heavily against her skin as Jim sinks her teeth into her bottom lip, trying to keep quiet, slowly driven to the brink of insanity by the firm and long drags of Sarek’s calluses over her sensitive bud.

 

“Please, please, please—…” Her body moves of its own volition and she starts writhing languidly under Sarek, eyes fluttering shut as euphoria takes over her senses.

 

Sarek keeps his mouth against her ear, whispering things that Jim has no way of understanding. Still, she hears his confession, loud and clear, and it makes her rack her nails across his back, keeping him close to her, her hold on him strong and firm as he lightly rocks his cock against her thigh, leaving wet trails across her bare skin.

 

Sarek.” Jim’s far too gone to care about the no doubt embarrassing noises escaping her freely now. “Sarek, please.”

 

The boiling pressure building within her is as excruciating as it’s blissful and, eventually, something in Jim snaps.

 

The rush of orgasm overtakes her all at once, an unstoppable and powerful surge that leaves her body wrecked with tremors and has her arching her spine off the bed with a long, broken cry, right into Sarek’s scorching warmth.

 

She collapses back onto the mattress, out of breath and still holding the Vulcan with trembling arms now devoid of strength. Sarek’s fingers are wet as they touch her sore lips, tracing the dents left by her teeth. Jim nips at them playfully, blinking her eyes opened and slowly coming down from peak of ecstasy.

 

The dark pupils of Sarek’s eyes are wide with barely restrained desire, hungry for something only she can provide, and Jim feels more naked under his heated gaze now than she ever did during any of their previous sexual trysts. Probably because they didn’t mean anything to her, back then. Sex with Sarek was always supposed to be meaningless, after all. But now?

 

Now, Jim pulls off the armor and lets him all the way in.

 

Wordlessly, she parts her legs and hitches them right over Sarek’s hips, cradling him close to her in a clear and unmistakable invitation.

 

“Come here,” she encourages him softly.

 

Sarek’s strong hands slide down her thighs, under her knees, the tip of his cock nudging her entrance teasingly.

 

It’s like the air’s been punched out of her lungs when he finally pushes into her.

 

Shit,” Jim gasps breathlessly, adjusting to his girth.

 

T'nash-veh katelau, ” he moans against her skin as she tries to catch her breath, mouthing his way to her parted lips and delving his tongue into the wet cavern of her mouth. “Taluhk nash-veh k'dular.

 

With shaky hands, Jim hesitantly strokes the back of the Vulcan’s neck, her sigh muffled by his lips. She kisses him back keenly, passionately, answering his hunger with her own and curling her tongue fervently around his. They’re locked so tightly together, nothing more than a messy tangle of limbs, so much that Jim doesn’t know where she ends and where Sarek starts. But for once, she relishes in the connection of their bodies instead of dreading it.

 

“Move,” she urges him quietly, clenching deliberately around him.

 

Sarek lightly bites her lower lip and obeys the order, rolling his hips in slow, firm circles, setting up a languid pace that has Jim humming blissfully and closing her eyes at the onslaughts of pleasure hitting her with each steady thrust, Sarek’s hot erection moving inside of her just right.

 

Koon-ut so'lik.” There’s something strangely suppliant in Sarek’s tone. “Sanu, kun-ut so'lik.”

 

Unable to see anything past the thick cloak of ecstasy clouding her thoughts, Jim just nods with a helpless whimper. “Anything, anything you want, just please—…”

 

Sarek cuts her off with a nearly animalistic growl, crushing his lips to hers once more. Whatever it is Jim just agreed to, it makes her lover want to possess her through that kiss as surely as he’s claiming her with his cock. Right now, she’s okay with that.

 

Jim tries to remember a time where this man wasn’t such a fundamental part of her life, where his touch still felt strange and alien to her, where the thought of welcoming him into the deepest part of her intimacy was so entirely unfathomable. She tries but she can’t and that realization, more than anything, is enough to comfort her in her decision.

 

This is her life now. They won’t be trapped here forever, she won’t accept it, but she and Sarek are always going to be connected through their unborn child. They’re going to be parents and no amount of running away or denial is going to change that.

 

The thought hurts, but is no longer torturing.

 

They break apart with a gasp and Sarek instantly dips his head down, pressing open mouthed kisses down her throat, one hand sliding against her lower back and forcing her to arch into him.

 

Jim throws her head back and moans loudly, burying her fingers into his hair. “I’m here,” she promises breathlessly. “I’m with you.”

 

She rolls her hips in deliberate motions, whimpering at the feeling of that burning length rubbing inside of her deliciously. Sarek palms her buttocks with greedy fingers and Jim buries her face into the crook of his neck, moving quicker, bringing her hips down a little harder after every withdrawal and searching for the wet contact of balls slapping bare skin, for the jolts of electricity that course through her every time Sarek pushes in just right, for the long drag of his cock sliding in and out, and it’s just… right now, it’s perfect. Exactly what she needs.

 

Jim crosses her ankles against his lower back, too far gone in the pleasure to care about the fact that she’s encouraging him with nonsensical pleadings.

 

“Don’t stop, just like that, you—… Yes, yes, yes—…Harder, come on—…”

 

The headboard starts hitting the wall as they both get more energetic, their bodies rocking together in perfect unison. Jim blinks in daze at the ceiling, lost in the haze of pleasure and rendered entirely helpless as the Vulcan pounds into her, hard, relentless, but still in control, still holding back just enough not to hurt her. His stamina and discipline are impressive, because he doesn’t let himself reach his orgasm until she does.

 

Ah!” Jim cries out, spasms wracking her entire body and leaving her shaking from head to toe. Sarek follows her over the edge barely a few seconds later, letting out a quiet gasp when she clenches around his pulsing cock. Maybe for the first time, Jim relishes in the now familiar sensation of her lover’s warm seed filling her in long waves as he rides out his orgasm, clinging to him and digging her fingers into the sweat slick skin of his back.

 

After one last, deep thrust of his hips that tears a groan out of Jim, Sarek finally goes still. He doesn’t immediately pull out, keeping his head buried in her shoulder as he tries to catch his breath, elbows put on either side of Jim’s face to avoid putting too much weight on her.

 

She’s panting just as harshly, running her fingers lazily through his hair, feeling deliciously sore and sated and, dares she say, content.

 

“James,” Sarek breathes out, sliding his fingers alongside her jawline. “Thank you.”

 

Jim snorts. “My pleasure,” she says playfully.

 

She feels his lips curve into a small smile across her skin, hidden but still there. Jim can’t help but smile too, fondness and affection swirling in her chest, and because she doesn’t want Sarek to think that she misunderstood the real meaning behind his gratitude, she gently pulls his head up and drops a soft, tender kiss onto his lips.

 

Sarek’s hand finds her stomach and rests there. “There is much we still need to discuss,” he says.

 

Jim licks her damp lips. “I know,” she sighs, rubbing her foot lazily up and down his calf. “Does it have to be right now, though?

 

A kind look settles across Sarek’s features. “No, it does not.” Her stomach grumbles and he smirks. “Especially since you seem to be in need of nutriments at the moment.”

 

Jim blushes. “Sorry.”

 

“Nonsense. Intercourse is a strenuous activity that demands—“

 

Jim quickly puts her hand against his mouth to stop the surge of embarrassing words, groaning in a mix of amusement and frustration. “You can add afterglow in the list of things we need to talk about.”

 

Sarek’s kisses her palm, quiet joy dancing in his gaze. “Shall I bring you a collation?”

 

“Please.”

 

“Very well.”

 

A wave of coldness hits her when he finally rolls off her, goosebumps breaking across her skin. Jim suppresses a shiver, feeling strangely bereft without the weight of Sarek’s body on hers, and watches as he puts his robes back before leaving the room.

 

Stretching her limbs pleasantly and rolling over Sarek’s side of the bed, Jim buries her face in his pillow, a sigh escaping her. The Vulcan’s right, they’re going to have to talk about the future at some point. For one, Jim has no idea what to expect with a half vulcan, half human baby growing inside of her. Would that change the progress of the pregnancy? Would this child have specific needs that she should be made aware of now?

 

Jim’s completely blind here, advancing in the dark, so to speak. But she’s got Sarek and, at the end of the day, that’s enough.

 

Maybe this really can work, after all.

 

That’s when she hears it. The familiar sound of the transporter’s beams coming from outside the room.

 

Immediately on alert, Jim sits up quickly, pulling the sheets to cover her bare chest more out of reflex than real care about her nude state. Frowning, she calls out. “Sarek?”

 

No answers.

                                         

They’re not supposed to receive any more supplies for at least another week and while it wouldn’t be the first time Sybok beams them a little something down in an attempt to mock them, Jim can’t help the uneasiness crawling up her spine.

 

“Sarek?” she calls out again, louder this time.

 

The echo of her voice bouncing in the too silent bunker is her only response.

 

Biting back a frustrated curse, Jim leaves the bed and grabs her pants and tank top from the floor, putting them back on hastily.

 

It’s probably nothing. Hell, the simple fact that she’s still awake should be proof enough that everything’s fine. Jim’s just being a paranoid idiot because that’s what this place turned her into. Soon, Sarek will be back with her snack and what will also probably be yet another bottle of Romulan ale, courtesy of Sybok. Or maybe it’ll be something else this time, considering her condition. No matter. Jim will smash it, whatever it is, like she did with most of the other provocating gifts.

 

Still, she’ll feel better once she actually sees her Vulcan companion with her own two eyes.    

 

Leaving the bedroom on the tip of her toes and silently making her way to the common area, Jim deliberately ignores the dread growing in the pit of her stomach and slowly gnawing at her insides. She’s being ridiculous. Everything’s fine. Perfectly fine.

 

Keep telling yourself that. Maybe that’ll turn out to be true.

 

She wraps her arms around herself, suddenly feeling cold all over. When she finally reaches the end of the corridor, her nervousness has turned into frustration.

 

“Sarek, I swear to—…”

 

Jim stops dead in her tracks.

 

Sarek is there, standing right in the middle of the beaming spot.

 

He turns to look at her, but Jim only has eyes for the apparition that is currently standing next to him. Tall, lean, wearing a black combination that is strangely reminiscent to the one he wore on that suicide mission aboard Nero’s ship, Spock looks exactly the same as in her memories.

 

She thinks she hears Sarek calling her name but Jim is honestly incapable of answering, let alone tear her gaze away from the ghost. How is this possible? Spock’s only ever appeared to her in her dreams, so why is she seeing him now? Is this some sort of punishment? Is he going to haunt her even more now that she’s accepted to be Sarek’s partner?

 

God, how can he look so real?

 

A wave of dizziness hits her. I’m losing my mind.

 

It’s when the apparition opens his mouth to speak and his voice – real and terribly familiar, terribly missed— resonates in the room that Jim’s heart truly and painfully stops beating.

 

“Jim?”

 

Her knees very nearly give out under her.

 

Head turning and catching herself just in time against the wall, Jim finally risks a panicked glance towards Sarek, eyes widening a little more when he only gives a stunned nod back and puts an hesitant hand on Spock’s shoulder, something he’s only able to do because he’s real and tangible, a being capable of being touched and—

 

It’s him.

 

It’s really him.

 

A strangled sob escapes Jim, nothing more than a broken noise that makes her sound like a wounded animal.

 

The next moment, a blur of black rushes towards her and she’s lifted off her feet, crushed against a body she thought she would never feel under her hands again.

 

“Tell me it’s you,” Jim begs with fear choking her voice. “Tell me.”

 

And because Spock’s never disobeyed her orders before, he does just that. Her name sounds like a deliverance on his lips. “Jim.”

 

Life flows across her limbs once more and Jim finds herself returning Spock’s hug with near desperation, arms thrown around his shoulders, wonder and amazement and all-encompassing terror tearing her chest apart. She feels his hair between her fingers, can touch the skin of the back of his neck, can feel his warm breath against her ear –… For it can only be his, because Sarek is still standing in the middle of the beaming spot and if he’s there, it means that she’s currently clinging to someone else right now and—…

 

He’s here, I’m not dreaming.

 

Please, let this not be a dream.

 

More than once during all these months spent in captivity, Jim had wondered if, maybe, she had somehow romanticized her memory of Spock, if not idealized their entire relationship. In her lonely mind, she remembered him as the steady presence that kept her centered. The rock that kept her going. The shoulder to lean on when she needed it. The arms that would always catch her before she fell. And wasn’t that too much of a burden for a single man to bear?

 

But she hasn’t idealized any of it. Spock’s still all of that and more. He’s still hers. And he came for her. It’s been nearly a year and he still came for her.

 

“You’re here,” Jim whispers shakily. She doesn’t recognize that voice. This weak, vulnerable and trembling little thing that she's suddenly become.

 

God, she’s shaking like a leaf under the force of it all and Spock—… Spock’s just as shaken as she is.

 

A whine of protest escapes her when he abruptly pulls away, but then he’s immediately back, grabbing her face and looking at her with a strange mix of fear and wonderment, like he’s afraid she’s going to disappear if he so much as blinks. Jim understands the feeling and she too feels the need to cup his cheeks, gazing upon him as if she’s never seen anything so beautiful.

 

She truly hasn’t.

 

They’re so close that Jim can feel Spock’s warm breath on her lips, her nose inadvertently nudging his. Spock’s thumbs can’t seem to stop stroking her skin, but that’s fine, she doesn’t mind. In fact, she’s pretty sure she might actually die if Spock ever stops touching her.

 

Everything’s so clear now and Jim is such an idiot. How could she ever doubt? How could she have forgotten how intense and right it felt when they were together? How could she—… she’s been gone for a year and anyone else would have given up on her by now. But not Spock. He still fought for her and searched for her and she doesn’t understand why she ever allowed herself to believe that he would do any differently.

 

Of course Spock loves her. Of course he does. It’s written all over his face, painted on his features with care. And he’s smiling. God, he’s smiling a real, big, toothy smile that Jim can’t help but trace in awe with the tips of her fingers, letting out a little joyful sob when Spock kisses them gently.

 

“You’re late,” she jokes weakly, vision blurring with tears.

 

“I apologize,” Spock says a little roughly, and it’s reassuring to know that she’s not the only one who’s lost control here. “It appears that some people were determined to keep your location a secret.”

 

“Tell me you kicked their asses.”

 

Foreheads pressed together now, Jim feels Spock’s smirk more than she sees it. “I believe you would have approved.” Then something else. “Commander Kirk certainly did.”

 

Jim blinks back her tears incredulously. “Comman—… My mom? She’s here?!”

 

“Of course. She is currently waiting for my signal. Jim.” His thumb strokes Jim’s jaw lovingly. “You are free.”

 

She lets out a wet laugh, leaning into his touch, when something catches her attention from the corner of her eyes.

 

Her blood runs cold.

 

Sarek’s looking right at them and the joy that has warmed Jim’s heart so abruptly turns into crackling fear so fast that it makes her dizzy. This time, her knees do give out under her but fortunately, Spock’s arms are there keep her steady.

 

“Jim?” He asks and the worry in his voice makes her want to scream.

 

She doesn’t answer, just grips him more tightly to her, fisting his black shirt to the point of nearly tearing the fabric. Horror twists her insides mercilessly as Sarek just keeps staring at them, saying nothing and too much at the same time. There’s anger in that gaze, a touch of jealousy, a little bit of pity too. Jim shakes her head in denial, tearing her eyes away and pulling Spock with her as she turns them until her back’s pressed against the wall of the corridor, effectively trapping her.

 

Bile rises up her throat at the feel of a sudden pressure against her stomach.

 

Spock calls her name once more in concern, but doesn’t push for more when Jim buries her face into the crook of his neck. That’s all she needs right now; Spock’s weight on her, his arms around her, his comforting scent filling her senses. And somehow. Jim doesn’t feel on the edge of having a break down anymore.

 

It helps, until she can no longer ignore the ache between her legs, the sticky mess of fluids spread across her inner thighs, and realizes that she’s still sweaty from her earlier activities. God, she must be reeking of sex and Spock isn’t in the right state of mind to notice any of these details right now, but he will, of course he will, and when that happens, Jim will inevitably lose him forever.

 

For now, the Vulcan’s hand cradles the back of her head, stroking her hair gently. “It is alright, Jim,” he says soothingly. “I am here.”

 

He’s going to leave, Jim thinks hysterically. This isn’t fair, I just got him back, I need more time, please—…

 

“Jim.”

 

What I have done, what have I done, what have I done—…

 

“Jim, please.” This time, Spock sounds truly afraid.

 

“Spock,” Jim sobs, pulling and pulling in a desperate effort to have him even closer. I’m sorry. “I—…” God, I’m so sorry.

 

Choking on her tears, Jim risks a glance to the side.

 

Sarek’s still watching them from afar.