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The Peter Stark Fan Squad

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Peter was unamused.

Ned was laughing his ass off in the chair next to his, trying to stifle the noise with a jacket sleeve, but Peter was most certainly unamused.

Their chemistry II teacher had just made an announcement that the class would be going on a tour of Stark Tower! And Peter… Peter was unamused.

This was sure to be an embarrassing disaster. Since May’s passing, Peter had been living in the penthouse of the tower as Tony’s adopted son. The Avengers were practically his family and there was no way they weren’t going to humiliate him on this trip.

Peter wondered, if he slid down far enough in his seat, would he sink directly into the floor? It’s worth a shot.

His new angle gave him a view of Flash Thompson, also laughing his ass off, but with a very different energy.

“Hey Penis, you’re about to get exposed!” The bully cackled.

Peter glared at the floor. It was not doing a very good job of swallowing him.

That afternoon, Peter made it to the parking lot with minimal disruption. He climbed into his jeep and waited for a gap in the traffic to pull out of his spot. He reminisced for a moment about the previous year when Happy would pick him up from school.

The boy chuckled a little to himself, his trips home have had a lot more pop music since Tony bought him a car.

When he arrived at the tower, F.R.I.D.A.Y announced him as soon as he walked through the door. Some of the other interns convinced her to do that a while ago for a continuous prank they pull, so Peter braced himself for the inevitable.

“PETER!” yep, there it was. The ear-shattering squeal of twelve college-aged girls.

They ran at Peter from all directions and tackled him to the ground shouting things like “I touched his jacket!” and “Peter, will you marry me?!”

Some time after his internship became real, most of the other interns realized he had much higher clearance than any other intern. Before they found out he was the boss’s kid, they just assumed he was famous or something. Upon finding out the truth, they just started acting like he was actually a celebrity. It’s all a joke of course, and a funny one too.

He won’t admit it, but Peter likes the positive attention. Being tackled to the ground by a gaggle of smart and beautiful college girls isn’t a bad gig either.

A short elevator ride later, the teen is knocking on the door to Miss Potts’s office.

“Come in!” Pepper shouts through the door. Peter opens it to find her in her natural state. The CEO has a phone pressed between her ear and her shoulder as she rushes back and forth between her computer and a filing cabinet, talking rapidly about a budget disagreement.

When she sees that it’s Peter at the door, she politely ends the call and walks over to give him a quick kiss on the forehead.

“Hey Pete, how was school?” She smiles sweetly.

“It was good! I got a perfect score on my calculus test!” He smiled at her. He didn’t feel the need to mention Flash’s antics.

“Congratulations! I bet if you tell Bucky he’ll make some cookies to celebrate.” She winked at him.

“Do you think he’ll make the gooey caramel chocolate chunk ones?!” Peter jumped up and down at the prospect.

“Tell you what, you ask him nicely and if he says no then I’ll try again for you.” Peter had the coolest mom.

“YES!” He shouted, punching his fists into the air. No one could tell Pepper Potts ‘no’ and live to tell the tale.

“Also,” Peter started again, “I need you to sign a field trip permission form.”

“Of course, sweetie, where are you going?”

“Well…”

+

The day of the trip snuck up on Peter too quickly. He found himself running out a back door to the tower with a short stack of chocolate chip pancakes held in his mouth, tugging on his jacket as he sprinted, to get to his car. He was definitely going to be late.

He drove a little too fast and took turns a little too recklessly, but by some stroke of luck he made it to the Midtown parking lot unharmed and on time.

Peter climbed on to the bus as he was finishing his last pancake, and took a seat next to MJ and across the aisle from Ned. MJ didn’t look up from the thick book she was reading, but Ned started bouncing in his seat the moment Peter got there.

“Is Mr. Stark going to be there?”

“I don’t know, Ned.”

“Can I meet Captain America?”

“I don’t know, Ned.”

“Is everyone going to embarass you?”

“Ned, you already know the answer to that.” Peter looked hurt just thinking about it. Between the other interns, the Avengers, and his parents, Peter wasn’t sure who would be the worst.

“He sure does! He knows you be embarrassed when it gets out that you lied about your internship!” Flash threw a gum wrapper at the back of Peter’s head and sneered at him.

Peter did not respond.

“Hey! Penis! I’m talking to you!”

“Mr. Thompson, please settle down.” called Ms. Warren from the front of the bus, ignoring the content of his noise as usual.

The class arrived at the tower in roughly ten minutes due to the early morning traffic. They disembarked from the bus near the visitor entrance, and walked through the shining glass doors to the tour group lobby.

This is where Peter had his first bit of good luck in days. There was no need for F.R.I.D.A.Y to be programmed into the guest entrance, there wouldn’t be any recognizable faces, so Peter was not immediately announced. This meant that Peter’s typical grand entrance of being tackled by girls didn’t happen.

He was grateful, he would have had trouble explaining that one, Not even Ned knew about his welcoming tradition. It did make him feel a little sad, though. He would have killed to see Flash’s face watching him getting swarmed by beautiful geniuses.

“Midtown, I presume?” Asked the young lady at the reception desk. She didn’t see Peter.

Mr. Warren nodded, and the receptionist led the class into a small room full of rows of chairs with a blank wall at the front for projecting video on. She asked the class to take a seat and informed them that their guide would be there shortly.

“Who do you think our tour guide will be?” Ned asked, leaning towards Peter. “I hope it’s Lara.”

“Of course you do.” Peter teased.

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” Ned gave his friend an exaggerated frown. Peter gave him a look. He conceded.

The chatter of the class dies out when two interns walked in with green badges around their necks and massive cups of coffee in their hands. Peter recognized them as two of the youngest interns besides himself. Cassidy and, you guessed it, Lara.

“Wow, this is a big class.” Cassidy looked up at the group. “You’ll have to find another intern to help you once I have to leave.”

Lara looked up at the ceiling. “Hey F.R.I.D.A.Y,” she called, “Show me which other interns are in the building.”

F.R.I.D.A.Y pulled up a holo screen in front of Lara. The class ‘ooooh’ed

“Okay,” the intern said looking at the list before her. “There’s actually a lot of us right now. Josh is here, but he’s annoying. Kelsey said not to bother her… Hey! When did Peter get here?!” She looked up at her friend in shock. “F.R.I.D.A.Y didn’t tell us!”

“What!” Cassidy nudged Lara over to see the screen for herself. “How did he get past us?”

“Well, the welcoming is fun but it’s okay that we missed it once.” Lara shrugged.

“What? No! We have to find him and do it! It’s essential!” Cassidy protested.

“You’re just saying that because you like him.”

“No way! You’d feel the same if it was his programmer friend. Ted, is it?” Cassidy smirked.

“It’s Ne- oh, shush.” Lara blushed a little. She looked again towards the ceiling, “F.R.I.D.A.Y, call the girls to Peter’s location.” She gave in, rolling her eyes at her coworker.

“Peter Stark Fan Squad to orientation room three.” Echoed through the tower.

“Wait, isn’t that…” Lara trailed off and started scanning the crowd.

Peter buried his head in his hands and groaned. Between the name of his coworkers’ operation and Cassidy confessing a crush on him in front of his class, they were off to a very bad start. Apparently the other interns were going to be his biggest problem today.

“Here they come, Petey!” Lara shouted from the front of the room. Sure enough, Peter heard the thudding of twelve pairs of sneakers (practical for lab work) running down the hallway.

Falling into the familiar rhythm of his work days with his friends, Peter forgot he was supposed to be the clumsy kid. He ran along the backs of the chairs, jumping over classmates heads in attempt to escape his ridiculous friends and colleagues. But he wasn’t fast enough.

Two of them grabbed him from midair and pulled him into a hug. The rest of them jumped into the huddle until they were all rolling on the floor, Peter in the middle of it. They were hugging him and shouting their ridiculous things. He did secret handshakes with a few of them and the group fell into comfortable, giggly conversation.

“So, why are you in so early today, Peter?” His close friend and an incredible physicist named Gina asked.

Oh.

Right.

Peter looked up to find his class completely turned around in their chairs watching the unimaginable scene unfold before them. Flash’s jaw was entirely on the ground.

“What the hell is this?” Flash finally found his voice.

“Oh, sorry guys. It’s just a joke that the interns here have. We’ll leave you to your tour! Come on, Peter.” Gina gave the class a winning smile before picking herself off the ground and dusting off her pants.

“Um, actually, Gina, I have to stay here.” Peter looked at her sheepishly.

Gina and the others looked confused.

“This is my class…” Peter looked at the rest of the students.

“Oh my God!” Linette, another intern, laughed. “Only you, Peter.”

“Yeah, well, I kind of have to…” He pointed to his empty chair.

“Right, right! We are so sorry for interrupting. Have a great tour!” The interns showed themselves out.

“What was that, Penis?” Bit Flash at a whisper. Peter just shrugged and faced the front for the rules and regulations video.

After the video, Lara handed out level one passes to the class, skipping over Peter. He plucked his own level ten pass from his backpack pocket and hung it around his neck like the others. It was gold instead of the white of the rest of the class’s, but no one seemed to notice.

Lara led them through security and F.R.I.D.A.Y announced each student’s name and clearance level. Each of his classmates were ones, Lara and Cassidy were fives, and Peter was of course a ten.

He pretended not to notice the looks of wonder on his classmate’s faces when F.R.I.D.A.Y welcomed him by name and asked why he was home early.

The tour ran unexpectedly smoothly until after lunch when they were nearing their departure.

He chatted idly with MJ and Ned.

“So there’s what, 17 interns here?” MJ asked breezily.

“Yep!” Peter smiled back.

“And 15 of them are women?”

“Sure are.”

“Nice.”

Peter’s only disruption was constantly fighting off jabs from Flash about ‘paying off those intern chicks’ and ‘lying about the internship.’ It was exhausting.

At least Flash was the only one unconvinced, or so it seemed until…

“Hey Penis, when are you gonna come clean?” Flash asked one too many times.

“I’M NOT LYING!” Peter snapped.

“Mr. Parker, I’m sorry to call you out in front of the class like this, but this is ridiculous!” Mr. Warren burst, surprising the class and the tour guides alike.

“Sorry sir, but what did I do exactly?” Peter asked, genuinely curious.

“The internship! I know that you’re going through a lot right now but pretending you work for Tony Stark is not an appropriate way to cope, and the lies need to stop now.” The teacher’s gaze bore into Peter, and he suddenly felt guilty for something he didn’t even do.

Suddenly, footsteps rounded the corner down the hall from the class and Tony Stark came into view, walking like a stressed out mom in a grocery store, one arm full of long rolls of paper.

Peter realized that with the way the class was standing near the end of a hallway, he was the only one who could see his father. This also meant, unfortunately, that Peter was the only one Tony could see as well.

“Petey Petey Petey boy!” He said as he approached him.

Tony picked up Peter with his spare arm and spun him around once before setting him down and ruffling his hair. Only then did he notice the other students.

“Is this your class?” He asked with a smile. Peter nodded once.

“Ohhh, am I embarrassing you?” He gave Peter a playful push away from him. Peter nodded once again.

“Eh, well, what’s a dad for? I’ll drop in later, gotta get these papers to Bruce!” And just like that, Tony Stark was off mom walking right past them down another hall. The class started open mouthed at Peter. Had Iron Many just called their dorky classmate his SON?

Before anyone could ask, something equally as unfathomable occured.

“Pete! Thank goodness!” Dr. Bruce Banner was running down the hallway, tablet in hand, towards their class. Why was everyone in such a rush today, geez.

“Tones said he wanted this code done by our meeting today but I have no idea if it’ll work. I haven’t slept in days.” Bruce smiled at Peter with bags under his eyes.

“I’ll look over it if you promise to go to the penthouse and sleep until you wake up after this meeting.” Peter bartered. His classmates looked on in shock as the HULK actually agreed to Peter Parker’s terms with pleading eyes.

Peter read through the code on the tablet Bruce handed him.

“This looks good, Ned, come look at this.” Peter muttered. Ned agreed with his assessment and the two handed the tablet back to Bruce. He jogged off in the direction Tony had just left in.

“Remember to sleep!” Peter called after him. Bruce shot him a thumbs up.

The class’s reaction was once again stifled by the arrival of an Avenger.

“Heeeeeyyyy Pete!” Clint yelled from down the hallway.

“Heeeeeyyyy what?” Peter yelled back.

“Bucky made more of those cookies you’re obsessed with!”

“The gooey caramel chocolate chunks?!!!!!” Peter shouted, moving his whole body with the effort of the deafening scream.

“I sure did, kid!” The class parted like the red sea as Winter Soldier walked through them in all his glory. He was… wearing an apron? A red checked apron and blue oven mitts holding a tray of cooling cookies.

Peter bounced with excitement and stole one off the tray. He bit into it and practically moaned with contentedness. He fake fainted into Hawkeye’s arms who, to everyone’s surprise, caught him gracefully trust fall style and stood him back up.

The class was snapping pictures of Bucky and gaping at the sight of Peter Parker acting like the Avengers giving him cookies was an everyday occurance.

That’s when Tony decided to show up again.

“Hey teach, can Peter just stay here for the night?”

“Um, he’ll need a, um, a guardian’s permission, sir.” Mr. Warren stammered.

“I am his guardian.” Tony cocked a confused eyebrow at him. The teacher scrambled for his folder. His eyes widened.

“Very well, um sir.”

The class, led by Lara and Cassidy, (who’d decided this kind of entertainment was worth missing one lecture for,) made their way down the hallway towards the elevators.

Peter and Tony heard screams from the corner they disappeared around and considered running to save them from whatever was happening, but then they saw Steve Rogers walking in a concerned manner away from the screams and decided it was just the natural response to seeing Captain America in gray sweatpants.

The class was certainly kinder to Peter on Monday.