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@sgtbarnes1917 and @cptrogers1918

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Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I'm new to this whole 'Twitter' thing what should I post????

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Whatever you want. That's the point...

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917   In reply to @flying_falcon

Thanks for the tip *rolls eyes*

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Who taught you about Twitter? And why??

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917   In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Tony said it was vital to have in the 21st century. Which is dumb. Just yell on the street corner like we did.

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Was that a joke? #Concerned

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @arrowboi

Yes, it was a joke. We didn't yell on street corners. We ran around Brooklyn until we found who we wanted

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

Man, Cap and Buck had a weird childhood.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 in reply to @arrowboi

Yeah, I know. #stevesisstaringatme #heisconfused #getontwitterSteve

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Steve on Twitter? I need to see that. #getontwitterSteve

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon

#getontwitterSteve

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

#getsteveontwitter is trending. Can someone tell Steve?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 in reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Already done. He's reading all this and frowning, now he's saying that he's not frowning. #getontwitterSteve He said he doesn't want to. I'll break him.

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B @Bburtqa

Are we just ignoring the fact that Steve and Bucky are sitting beside each other??? #stucky #getontwitterSteve

Elisa @Elisa24

OMG THE AVENGERS ON TWITTER IS CRACKING ME UP!! #getontwitterSteve

Rach @rachinwonderland

I love this #getontwitterSteve can you imagine the subtweeting!

Ryan hates Twitter @Ryanitists

Okay I never come on but #getontwitterSteve drew my attention

The Avengers @AvengersFanAccount03

#getontwitterSteve Please, we need some Cap content!!

Maddie || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Can Steve pleasssse come on! We need to see them interact #getontwitterSteve

I'll break him @stuckyfanOG

I AM SCREAMING OMG #getontwitterSteve

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Avengers Assemble

Tony Stark Created the Group

Tony Stark added Steve Rogers, James Barnes, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, Bruce Banner, Clint Barton, James Rhodes, Pepper Potts, and Wanda Maximoff

Tony Stark changed his name to Iron Man

Iron Man - can we acknowledge that Steve needs Twitter?

Steve Rogers - no.

James Barnes changed his name to Bucky

Bucky - yes.

Steve Rogers- no.

Bucky - listen to the people. They want you to so bad!

Sam Wilson changed his name to Falcon

Falcon - dude. Get with the times

Natasha Romanoff - #getontwitterSteve has been trending for a day. Give up already!

Steve Rogers - I don't need it. I read everything you say on Bucky's phone.

Clint Barton - ew

Clint Barton changed his name to Hawkeye

Hawkeye - get with the times

Steve Rogers - did you just create this chat to annoy me into getting twitter @Iron Man???

Iron Man - no comment

Pepper Potts - I think it's a good idea. Out of everyone in this chat, Steve's the least likely to do something bad online.

Bucky - I wouldn't say that. Also, side note, we need a new TV.

Iron Man - what!!

Pepper Potts - why?

Bucky - it was Steve

Steve Rogers - no comment.

Bruce Banner - please tell

Bucky - Steve is banned from watching the news that's all I'm saying

Falcon - omg

Bucky - it was bad

Natasha Romanoff - I need to story

Steve Rogers - I got annoyed at politicians using my name for their bull shit so I may or may not have punched the TV

Falcon - wow

Natasha Romanoff - wow

Iron Man - wow

Hawkeye - wow

Iron Man - also, Cap swore

Bucky changed Steve Rogers name to Captain Ass-Merica

Iron Man - Ass-Merica?? I hate it

Falcon - I love it

Iron Man - The symbol of our nation

Falcon - I mean, we can all agree that Steve is Captain Ass-Merica can't we?

Pepper Potts - you're all children

Iron Man - but you love us

Pepper Potts - *eye roll emoji*

Hawkeye - amazing. I love you Pepper

Natasha Romanoff - are we going to ignore the fact that Steve may have just killed Bucky?

Iron Man - I guess

Hawkeye - let the people know

Falcon - too bad

Bruce Banner - I just heard Steve yelling and the both of them running around upstairs.

Bucky - your concern for me is overwhelming

Captain Ass-Merica - I only tried to kill him.

Bucky - but you couldn't

Captain Ass-Merica - I could

Bucky - we've been through this before

Captain Ass-Merica - don't remind me

Captain Ass-Merica changed Bucky's name Captain America's Bitch

Captain America's Bitch - no fair. You didn't even come up with that on your own!

Iron Man - ???

Falcon - explain

Captain America's Bitch - some lady yelled it at me when we went to the mall. It was an ... experience

Hawkeye - you two live such interesting lives

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The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

In case you were wondering. In the group chat Bucky's name is Captain America's Bitch and Steve's in Captain Ass-Merica.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

The group chat is a strange place.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 in reply to @arrowboi

Man. That was private #rude

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Also. I am not Captain America's bitch. he is mine.

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Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

They have a GROUP CHAT

Will @williamDASH

This day just keeps on getting better #getontwitterSteve

I'll break him @stuckyfanOG

Captain America's Bitch and Captain Ass-Merica??? I stan

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Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Steve would like me to tell you that is his happy people want to hear from him but he doesn't know if he wants to get Twitter yet

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

No. A lie. He didn't tell me that, I just know that's what he's thinking so I said it

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

He said I was right. Ha.

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Avengers Assemble

Captain America’s Bitch - I need some help

Falcon - I’m scared that it’s going to be something weird

Captain America’s Bitch - like what??

Falcon - IDK, getting rid of a body?

Captain America’s Bitch - I am offended. I am perfectly capable of getting rid of a body on my own.

Captain Ass-Merica - no killing anyone.

Captain America’s Bitch - I didn’t! Sam brought it up

Falcon - you’re a child

Captain America’s Bitch - anyway. I need help deciding what Steve’s name should be on Twitter.

Falcon - the @ or the display name?

Captain America’s Bitch - I already have the @

Captain Ass-Merica - What???

Falcon - ‘annoying old man’

Captain Ass-Merica - wait

Iron Man - oh, um, just the American flag

Captain Ass-Merica - I don’t have twitter. We’re aware of this, right?

Captain America’s Bitch - I made you an account when I made me one. We have matching @’s :) @sgtbarnes1917 and @cptrogers1918. Do you like them? I thought it’d be cute, is it dumb?

 

Private Message Between James Barnes and Sam Wilson

Sam - are you trying to persuade Steve by being cute??

Bucky - Steve doesn't like saying no if he thinks it’ll make me happy

Sam - that sounds

Bucky - dirty? Yeah. It should.

Sam - dude.

Bucky - it’ll work.

 

Avengers Assemble

Captain Ass-Merica - it’s cute. I still don’t want Twitter. Now it’s just principal.

Captain America’s Bitch - Steve!! Please. It’s fun

Falcon - it is. People can ask questions and you can talk to people about

Falcon - Idk what you talk about but that

Iron Man - you can call out politicians you don’t like.

Captain America’s Bitch - ^^^

Captain America’s Bitch - come on Stevie. We can match. Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes battling Twitter

Captain Ass-Merica - You’re so stupid

Captain Ass-Merica - I’ll think about it

 

Private Message Between James Barnes and Sam Wilson

Bucky - ;)

Sam - yeah yeah

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Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Bucky’s way of getting Steve on Twitter is by saying ‘Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes battling Twitter’ in the Avengers Group Chat #getontwitterSteve

I'll break him @stuckyfanOG In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Did it work???? #getontwitterSteve

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @stuckyfanOG

We think.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @blackwidow_baby

I think my suggestion of calling out politicians will tip him over

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Yeah, if Steve does get Twitter be prepared for a lot of fighting… sorry @PepPotts

Pepper @PepPotts In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Sometimes I wish I lived far away from you lot

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @PepPotts

Sorry Peps, love you!! #shesmybetterhalf #byalot

Pepper @PepPotts In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Love you too. #iamthebetterhalf ;)

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

Wait! How does @sgtbarnes1917 already have ten million followers? It took me a year to get that many!

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

The people love me.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Ugh

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Chad Brown @ChadBoiB

#getontwitterSteve just so he can tear apart the dumbass liberals

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @ChadBoiB

HAHAHA no

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Senator Micheal Massey @MichealMassey

#getontwitterSteve I’d love to see what he thought about certain policies and we all know that all his interviews and scripted and #fakenews.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @MichealMassey

I’m sure you’d love to hear his opinions on some stuff - doubt you’d like his opinions though.

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Brian Dale @senBrianDale

Steve Rogers supports an all American marriage. One man and one woman. The idea that he supports anything else is #fakenews

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @senBrianDale

I’ve known Stevie for a long time and I can assure that he believes everyone has the right to get married to whoever they want. Has done since the 20’s.

_________________

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Liberal!Cap?? The only man I trust

Pumpkin Spice Boi @friskymisky

I have chosen the right man to stan #Capsaliberal

TayTay @TayyTayy

A liberal Cap? It’s more likely than you think

Spicy @emily456

Honestly it makes me so happy to hear that Captain Rogers supports same-sex marriage. Especially during the 20’s.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @emily456

Yeah, he got beat up a lot because of it. Don’t ever say Steven Rogers won’t fight for your rights.

Adam @adamandsteve

So does this mean that @sgtbarnes1917 is a liberal as well?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @adamandsteve

Hell yes!

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Avengers Assemble

Captain America’s Bitch - Steve they think you’re a conservative.

Captain Ass-Merica - What??

Falcon - ??

Captain America’s Bitch - Chad Brown said you would ‘tear apart the dumbass liberals’ and he isn’t alone in that train of thought. Guess they think cause we’re old were conservatives?? Anyway, thought I’d let you know so you could deal with it how you see fit. And if that’s getting on twitter and telling them off yourself, I wouldn’t complain. Also, there are senators and stuff talking about how you’d support them and their policies. And Brain Dale said you’re homophobic and support ‘all American’ marriage.

 

Private Message Between James Barnes and Sam Wilson

Bucky - ;)

Sam - is it true?

Bucky - yeah

Sam - that sucks

Bucky - yup. But it should make him want to get on sooooo

Sam - you can deal with the homophobes if it means getting Steve on Twitter?

Bucky - been dealing with homophobes longer than Twitter’s been around

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Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon

The idea that Cap is against same-sex marriage is laughable.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Captain Ass-Merica - maybe I will get it

 

Private Message Between James Barnes and Sam Wilson

Bucky - told ya

Sam - you know him creepily well

Bucky - ha probably

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Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

I think Bucky just convinced Steve to join #getontwitterSteve

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Pepper Potts - Please don’t make too much damage. The PR team have already sent me a dozen emails complaining about today. Just, remember that everything you say online can and will come back to bite you. And that people will screenshot everything so they will be able to bring it back even if you delete it. Don’t say something you wouldn’t say on camera - and Tony, don’t say anything. Ever.

Iron Man - rude

Hawkeye - Pepper laying out the truth

Captain America’s Bitch - As the kids say; I stan.

Iron Man - You’ve been on Twitter for a day and you already know what stanning is. How?

Captain America’s Bitch - I PM’d a fan and asked for her help. She’s very nice.

Natasha Romanoff - that’s what I did when I first got it as well

Hawkeye - same

Iron Man - is it some kind of spy thing then?

Captain America’s Bitch - I was never a spy.

Natasha Romanoff changed her name to GreatestSpy

GreatestSpy - I wanted to know what people were saying about me after New York and I didn’t understand.

Bruce Banner - I prefer to stay away from Stan twitter. Freaks me out

Iron Man - I’ve seen some things

Hawkeye - the fan art?

Iron Man - it’s impressive. I bought a T-shirt of me and Banner once.

Captain America’s Bitch - fan art?? Hang on.

Bruce Banner - I may have a travel mug with the logo on it and all our ‘symbols’ around the bottom. It’s cute.

GreatestSpy - I have a jumper with me and Clint

Hawkeye - One time I saw some art of me and Tony

Iron Man - say anything else and I’m deleting you from the group

Hawkeye - you don’t want to hear about the yoga-like position we were doing?

Iron Man has removed Hawkeye from the chat

GreatestSpy - he’s complaining on our private chat.

GreatestSpy - begging to be let back in

GreatestSpy - says he’s sorry

Iron Man - Fine

Iron Man - only if he doesn’t talk about our fan art anymore.

GreatestSpy - told him the rules

Iron Man has added Hawkeye to the chat

Hawkeye - I was in the downward dog and you were on top

Iron Man has removed Hawkeye from the chat

GreatestSpy - is it rude to block your boyfriend on the private chat?

Iron Man - Yes

Pepper Potts - No

Falcon - ha. It’s happened to you two before.

Iron Man - No

Pepper Potts - Yes

Falcon - Amazing

Captain America’s Bitch - I’m back. Fan art’s interesting. There’s a lot of me and Steve. People ship us which is cool.

Bruce Banner - You’re literally together

Captain America’s Bitch - they don’t know that do they?

Captain Ass-Merica - what’s shipping?

Iron Man - old man. Go to sleep old man, it’s already nine pm!

Captain Ass-Merica - I’m going to bed but we won’t be sleeping

Iron Man has removed Captain Ass-Merica from the chat

Captain America’s Bitch - HA! Fair.

Captain America’s Bitch has added Captain Ass-Merica to the chat

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Good night everyone. Bedtime for old people ;) - Don’t worry, I’m going to try and convince Steve to get on Twitter #getontwitterSteve

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Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Please Do!!!! We need #stucky content #getontwitterSteve

I am Will @will-i-am

#getontwitterSteve is still trending with over a million tweets.

I'll break him @stuckyfanOG

UM BUCKY SAID HE’S GOING TO BED BUT HE CAN STILL TALK TO STEVE I AM SCREAMING

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @stuckyfanOG

Either they’re in the same room or they message each other in bed and I am dead

I'll break him @stuckyfanOG In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

These guys I swear to god!!

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @stuckyfanOG

Girl, I am dead because of them #stuckyisreal

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Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Good morning everyone

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

What to tweet??

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

#getontwitterSteve

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Anyway, here’s something to start our mornings off right! Steve Rogers in his natural habitat

4769730441_02f38f2090_b

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Breaking News CNN @CNN_Offical

Twitter back up after two hours. Reports are saying the picture that James Barnes posted as the cause of the crash.

Chapter Text

Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918

Okay, okay. You win @sgtbarnes1917 #getontwitterSteve

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

I knew I would

Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

What now?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

You tweet stuff

Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Like????

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

What are you doing right now?

Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

We’re eating breakfast together Buck you can see me

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

You have to tell everyone else what you’re doing. Not me.

Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918

I’m eating toast with Bucky right now. He’s glaring at me.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

You’re the worst

Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

:)

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Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918

Anyway, here’s Bucky in his natural habitat

CVqpRRQVEAEF3Ut

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Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 

Kinda sad my picture didn't break twitter's like Steve's.

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Avengers Assemble

Iron Man - Are we all on Twitter now?

GreatestSpy - Yeah

Iron Man - and we’re all in the chat?

GreatestSpy - clint

Iron Man - shit

Iron Man has added Hawkeye to the chat

Hawkeye - oh wow. Only invited when needed, I get it.

Iron Man - shut up and I need everyone online. Everyone here?

Captain America’s Bitch - looks like.

Iron Man - good. The PR team keeps emailing me (Pepper) about it. Basically, they want to humanize us using our accounts. Apparently, people are annoyed that we keep accidentally breaking buildings when they don’t know anything about us so the PR team wants to rectify that. Hope you don’t mind.

Hawkeye - uh I mind??

Iron Man has removed Hawkeye from the chat

Iron Man - it was rhetorical

GreatestSpy - you answered him after you took him out of the chat

Iron Man has removed GreatestSpy from the chat

Iron Man - leave me alone.

_________________

Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918

Bucky never showed me the picture that ‘broke’ Twitter. I just saw it.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

He blushed

_________________

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

These few days have been the best of my life #stucky

Ditzy Daisy @DaisyDo

UGh, they’re so cute!!

A-MAZIE @mazieGray

And THAT PICTURE OMG

Alex @Alex99

So it’s completely been confirmed that Steve and Bucky just hang out #stucky

Scott @scottfinch In reply to @Alex99

Just because two people hang out doesn’t mean they're together. Jesus Christ. Stucky fans are so cringey. Like just piss off.

Alex @Alex99 In reply to @scottfinch

Fuck off yourself. I’m just having some fun. You know what that is, right?

I'll break him @stuckyfanOG

Are they just always together?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @stuckyfanOG

Yeah, basically. All our friends are dead soooo

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Rude

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

I meant from the 30’s. Clearly. Yes, we have other friends but we don’t live with them, do we?

Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

We didn’t really have friends in the 30’s either if we’re being honest.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I Came Out to Have a Good Time and I'm Honestly Feeling So Attacked Right Now

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I hate you

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Wanda Maximoff - I missed a lot. Catch me up?

Captain America’s Bitch - I wanted Steve to get Twitter, made a hashtag go viral, broke Twitter and Steve got an account.

Wanda Maximoff - Got it and why is everyone but Nat and Clint on this chat??

Captain America’s Bitch - oh Stark kicked them out for being annoying

Wanda Maximoff - they keep messaging me to get back on

Wanda Maximoff - do I let them?

Wanda Maximoff - Stark?

Iron Man - fine

Wanda Maximoff has added Hawkeye to the chat

Wanda Maximoff has added GreatesSpy to the chat

Wanda Maximoff changed her name to Wanda

Hawkeye - that was rude Tony. I had a valid complaint about my privacy and I was ignored. I would like to file an official complaint. @pepper

Wanda - What happened with our privacy??

Iron Man - nothing

Hawkeye - yet

Pepper Potts - PR wants to work on our images with the public so we’re not as hated

Wanda - oh. Okay

Captain America’s Bitch - speaking of our images. I may or may not have accidentally started a rumor about me and Steve?? Wasn’t my fault though.

Pepper Potts - what happened?!

Captain America’s Bitch - so someone asked if I was with Steve at that moment and I said no, he was running with Sam which is true. And then another person replied with their sot of Stucky (awesome name) stuff and I may have liked it. I said that I was lonely and I was! So I liked it then I saw their name and it was - StevexBucky. Not my fault

Pepper Potts - unlike it, please

Captain America’s Bitch - aww. But I am lonely

Falcon - you’re ridiculous

Captain America’s Bitch - why aren’t you running?

Falcon - Steve decided to do another lap and I didn’t want to

Captain America’s Bitch - didn’t want to or couldn’t keep up?

Falcon - I’m gonna ship you back to Russia

GreatestSpy - we don’t want him

Captain America’s Bitch - rude.  

Pepper Potts - Bucky please unlike it.

Captain America’s Bitch - I did.

Captain America’s Bitch - are you coming home then Sam?

Falcon - we might go out for breakfast first. Why?

Captain America’s Bitch - codependency issues

Captain America’s Bitch - well that’s what my therapist says anyway

Captain America’s Bitch - what does she know

Falcon - a lot???!!!

GreatestSpy - she’s a trained therapist Bucky, she knows what she’s talking about

Captain Ass-Merica - I’m coming home Buck

Iron Man - you spoil him

Captain Ass-Merica - Oh well

Captain America’s Bitch - I stan

Iron Man has removed Captain America’s Bitch from the chat

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Tony kicked me out of the group chat :(

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

For no reason!

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I am innocent in this

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

You said you ‘Stan’ Steve

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Join the club

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Didn’t deserve to be kicked out. Now I don’t know where Sam and Steve are

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Private message?!

Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

We’re on our way back now - five mins tops

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

This is why you’re my favorite Avenger

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Yeah, that’s the only reason why

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Avengers Assemble

Pepper Potts - Tony!

Pepper Potts - this is an example of what not to tweet. No hinting at things that aren’t already public. Ever.

Iron Man - have you seen what they’re tweeting right now!! Nothing I tweet is worth that

Captain Ass-Merica - it’s alright Pepper. People either believe we’re together or they don’t and that’s how we like it.

Captain Ass-Merica has added Captain America’s Bitch to the chat

Captain America’s Bitch - Yeah, it’s all good

Wanda - why hide it then?

Captain America’s Bitch - We’re not ready for everyone to know just yet.

Falcon - I think the majority of people think it.

Captain America’s Bitch - they can think whatever they want to think

Captain America’s Bitch - Oh Steve’s back. brb

Falcon - don’t think about what they’re doing rn.

Falcon - I was told.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Steve just told me we have an interview tonight. Tune into ABC News to catch us talking about … something? Steve didn’t specify.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Pepper Potts - please behave boys.

Captain America’s Bitch - ‘course we will!

Pepper Potts - oh God.

_________________

Transcript for Steve Rogers and James Barnes interview with Kathy Richard. 7PM slot.

Chris-and-Sebastian-chris-evans-and-sebastian-stan-39728520-500-299

The scene opens after ads. Kathy Richard is sitting on a chair with Steve and James sitting beside her on a sofa. Both Steve and James are wearing casual clothes. and Kathy is wearing a white dress. Everyone is smiling. Kathy turns from Steve and James to the camera, addressing the camera before turning back to Steve and James.

Kathy Richard : Good evening America, it is seven o’clock I’m Kathy Richard and you’re watching ABC news. Tonight I’m lucky enough to be sitting here with fan favorite Avengers; Captain Steve Rogers and Sergeant James Barnes. How are you both tonight?

Steve Rogers : We’re good. How are you?

Kathy Richard : I’m great. So, you’ve both been in the news recently. With everything that happened yesterday with Twitter. How did that come about? James, were you the instigator of it all?

James Barnes : Please, call me Bucky. Tony Stark told me I needed to get it, said it was vital to surviving. I’m all about surviving so I downloaded the app. I actually made both of our accounts at the same time, so we could be matching.

Kathy Richard : So you knew that Steve would be coming onto Twitter before you had asked him?

James Barnes : Definitely. Tony and Natasha both said they had tried to get him online before I had but had been unsuccessful. I told them that I had something they didn’t.

Kathy Richard : And what’s that?

James Barnes : The ability to get Steve to do what I ever I want.

Kathy Richard : Steve, do you have anything to add to that?

Steve Rogers : He’s not wrong. Bucky can pout like no one else. He kept asking, showing me his account and how he was talking to people and things like that. Knowing that it would get me on at some point. After a few hours, I relented and took the password off him. It was after I found out a picture of me had ‘broken’ Twitter for two hours, however. I don’t know if I would have agreed if I knew that.

James Barnes : He would of.

Kathy Richard : You sound very sure.

James Barnes : I know Stevie.

Steve Rogers : Yeah, I would have ended up on Twitter by the end of today anyway. Like I said, Bucky is really good at pouting. He’s been practicing on me since we were kids. It’s why I let him post the photo.

Kathy Richard : Let’s talk about that photo, a lot of people have a lot of questions. But first, you knew that he was posting it? I guess the way you reacted made people think that it was surprising for you.

Steve Rogers : I was awake when he took it. I didn’t realize it would cause such an uproar and break twitter.

Kathy Richard : Well, you heard it here first. Before you both arrived I asked if anyone on Twitter had any questions they wanted answered on this show. The most common one, by a long shot, was ‘why was Bucky in Steve’s room’. I mean, we got hundreds of people asking us that. Now, you don’t have to answer the question but what’s your reaction to knowing that hundreds of people all asked the same, somewhat invasive, question.

Steve Rogers : I still haven’t gotten used to people wanting to know every bit about me. It’s been happening since my USO tours back before I was on the front lines. People would come up to me in person and ask random and personal questions. So it’s still a shock whenever it happens. Plus there’s so much more now, hundreds not a handful.

James Barnes : Doesn’t really bother me. It did before I was taken by Hydra. Soldiers constantly came up to me and Stevie, asking all sorts. Freaked me out. But then I wasn’t allowed to have any privacy for a long time so I got used to it.

James Barnes shrugs and Steve Rogers looks at him, clearly upset with the answer. The two men stare at each other for a moment. They both move at the same time, moving so they’re sitting closer together. Kathy sees it but doesn’t say anything or react in any way. After around 20 seconds they stop looking at each and turn back to Kathy, Steve clears his throat and James grind.

James Barnes : Also, I was in Steve’s room because it was morning and that’s where Steve was.

Kathy Richard : You two spend a lot of time together then?

James Barnes : Yeah, people keep throwing around the word codependent and stuff like that.

Steve Rogers : I say we’re just catching up on 70 years.

Kathy Richard : It’s sweet that you’re still so close. I scheduled this interview a while ago, not to talk about twitter but to talk about your teammates. The Avengers, well, we owe them a lot and I doubt anyone can deny that. But, we still don’t know a lot about them. You’re all very elusive people. Which is understandable. But if you’re up to it I’d love to get to know everyone a bit better. Nothing too personal of course, more like - what’s everyone's favorite thing to do when you’re not on a mission? Can we know that?

James Barnes : Yes. I would love to explain everyone’ favorite hobbies. Steve really likes knitting, I mean I don’t mind it, but Steve’s really good at it. So if you ever need something knitted, go to him.

Steve Rogers : True, I do enjoy it. Buck’s favorite thing to do it lay on my bed and watch YouTube videos incredibly loud while eating all our food.

James Barnes : Food’s better now and I like YouTube. Natasha likes those gossip magazines and Clint pretends not to read over her shoulder.

Steve Rogers : Tony just constant makes stuff. Redesigning suits, making new ones.

James Barnes : Poking at my arm and asking to open it up.

Steve Rogers : Bruce hangs out with him a lot, doing science stuff that interests Bucky way more than me.

James Barnes : Yeah! What they’re working on now is awesome, but it’s classified.

Steve Rogers : Tony said that no one on the team could know because it’s classified.

James Barnes : He gave me a higher classification in the lab.

Steve Rogers : Huh, okay. Bruce also does mediation and stuff like that. Sam has a real person job in the VA but he spends his downtime reading with me. Wanda’s getting her high school diploma online right now so she spends a lot of her time doing that. Then  Rhodey also as a real person job so does the honorary Avenger Pepper, so they go to work and stuff. Things that the rest of us don’t do very often.

Kathy Richard : It seems like the Avengers Tower is a very calm place then. If you’re all knitting and reading.

Steve Rogers : It can be.

James Barnes : Then sometimes Clint will just throw a knife at Nat because he’s annoyed at her and then they start fighting. Or something will explode in the lab, or well, a lot of things can happen.

Steve Rogers : We can be pretty, what’s the right word? Intense.

Kathy Richard : But you definitely seem happy.

Steve Rogers : Oh yeah, we’re like a family. I’d do anything for any one of them and I’d put my life in their hands any day. We fight and stuff but when it comes down to it, we’re all there for each other.

Kathy Richard : Do you have team bonding? You just need to trust each other when you’re fighting.

Steve Rogers : We train a lot together, which helps with the trust because you know who’s capable of what and stuff like that. But I think we bonded more when we’re not working. We spend a lot of time together; movie nights, dinner, workouts, lunches. We’re constantly together.

Kathy Richard : Movie nights?

James Barnes : Every Thursday and Sunday. Brunch on Saturday, dinner on Tuesday and Friday.

Kathy Richard : The whole team?

James Barnes : Whoever's in New York.

Kathy Richard : What about secrets? Do you tell each other everything? I don’t know anything about superheroes but I’d assume you’d have to have a fair bit of transparency.

Steve Rogers : The general rule of thumb is, is it going to get someone killed or hurt if they don’t know? If yes you need to tell. But, because we work in such dangerous places, a lot of things could get you killed. Like not knowing about minor injuries or even fights between two people. So we definitely ‘overshare’ for safety.

James Barnes : And medical privacy isn’t a thing. We tell each other about all the injuries or sickness we sustain. Even I do and I don’t fight with them.

Kathy Richard : Will you ever fight with them?

James Barnes : Maybe.

Kathy Richard : Has there ever been a time where you wished that you just weren’t a superhero?

Steve Rogers : Yeah, once or twice but I wouldn’t ever go through with it. It’s more like, when I have to fight some robots I’m just like ‘really?’. I don’t ever mean it.

Kathy Richard : Well, that’s all the time we have tonight. Thank you both so much for coming down. We really appreciate it.

Steve Rogers : Thanks for having us.

James Barnes : Thank you.

Kathy Richard : This is Kathy Richard with Steve Rogers and James Barnes. ABC News at seven and I’ll see you tomorrow.

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Chapter Text

Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers

STEVE ROGERS LIKED MY TWEET OMFG

Lillian #codependentandstufflikethat @littlelilli In reply to @MialovesAvengers

GIRL WHAT WHICH ONE!!!

Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers In reply to @littlelilli

My PINNED

Lillian #codependentandstufflikethat @littlelilli In reply to @MialovesAvengers

OMFG HE LIKED THAT ONE!!!!! #Stucky

Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers

Pinned Tweet

I need to get me a man like this

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Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918

Why is #codependentandstufflikethat trending?

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @cptrogers1918

Because apparently anything you say becomes something worth trending

Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

When did I say that??

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @cptrogers1918

Your boy toy did in the interview last night.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Don’t regret it either. #codependentandstufflikethat

Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

We’re out of milk.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @cptrogers1918

This isn’t a private chat Steven

Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

I know. I like making you annoyed ‘cause my domestic tweets get more likes than yours.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @cptrogers1918

Despicable

Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Who me? I’m just an old man who doesn’t understand social media.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Let the record show that Steve Rogers is and always be, a little shit.

Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Yet you love me

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @cptrogers1918

You’re both gross.

Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

You love me too

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @cptrogers1918

Never

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Let the record show that the three of them are currently sitting on a sofa together.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @blackwidow_baby

You're banned from the common area

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

Oh, it worked, she actually left.

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Don’t worry, I’m still in the room.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @arrowboi

NO???? You’re not!

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

He’s clearly in the vents. Can’t you hear him?

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

No. What the hell?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Now who’s the old man?

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

They’re still sitting beside each other FYI

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @arrowboi

Piss off Clint

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

;)

_________________

Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers

Are we going to talk about how Bucky didn’t deny that he was Steve’s boy toy?

_________________

Thursday @ThursdayMay

Also, Steve saiD THAT BUCKY LOVED HIM AND BUCKY DIDN’T DENY IT LIKE TONY DID?!?!

_________________

Private Message Between James Barnes and Sam Wilson

Bucky - Steve wants to know if you’re coming up for lunch?

Sam - and he isn’t asking because...

Bucky - his phones dead.

Sam - yeah, I’ll come up. Can I ask you something?

Bucky - shoot

Sam - the whole #codependentandstufflikethat thing, does it bother you? People knowing how you are with Steve?

Bucky - not really, why?

Sam - wanted to make sure you two were happy.

Bucky - yeah, it’s fine. Thanks though

Sam - cool. I’ll see you for lunch.

Bucky - great, I’m making mayonnaise cake

Sam - that’s not a real thing

Bucky - look it up

Sam - oh dear god

Sam - what is that!?!

Bucky - I’m not making it. Steve and I are gonna make pizzas!

Sam - you’re extremely cute for a hundred-year-old assassin.

Bucky - thanks. I try. See you at one!

_________________

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon

Are you aware that mayonnaise cake was a thing??

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

It’s not that bad!

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I’m not coming over for lunch anymore.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

We made such a nice pizza! (Or maybe 7 nice pizzas)

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

7??

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

It’s 6 now

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I’m coming up. Don’t eat anything else.

_________________

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

So Steve and Bucky just invite Sam up for pizza sometimes?? Amazing

Ditzy Daisy @DaisyDo

The Avengers are just - uGH

Poppy @PoppyGurl

Bucky and Steve getting twitter has cleared my skin, got rid of my depression and fixed my grades

Thursday @ThursdayMay

Wait, did they MAKE the pizza? Amazing

Llama Fucker @redToby

What does it take to get into their lunch dates??? I just wanna eat pizza with Captain America and his boy toy.

Alex @Alex99

But like - what is mayonnaise cake?? Are we not addressing that?

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @Alex99

You don’t want to know.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

It’s not that bad!

Alex @Alex99

BOTH BUCKY AND SAM REPLIED TO MY TWEET OMFG I CAN’T BELIEVE IT

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Alex99

Lol, Alex, Sam ain't that great.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

A) Fuck you and B) who taught you lol???

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

The internet’s not that hard. Steve said he disagrees. LOL

Alex | Bucky said my name @Alex99

I am about to pass out holy hell

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Alex99

;)

Alex | Bucky said my name and sent me a WINKY face @Alex99

Okay. Ima go and bury myself brb

Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @Alex99

Don’t do that!

Alex | Bucky said my name and sent me a WINKY face and Steve told me not to bury myself @Alex99 In reply to @cptrogers1918

I love you omg

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Alex99

Get in line lol

Alex | Bucky said my name and sent me a WINKY face and Steve told me not to bury myself @Alex99 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

AHHHHHHHHHHH

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Pepper Potts - Can you go one day without causing mayhem with the PR depart?

Pepper Potts - no, go one hour!

Pepper Potts - do you know how many emails I’ve gotten!

Pepper Potts - you don’t

Pepper Potts - I’m so tired

Captain America's Bitch - sorry??

Captain Ass-Merica - yeah. Our bad.

Captain America's Bitch - your bad

Captain Ass-Merica - NO

Captain America's Bitch - yes.

Pepper Potts - you’re both grounded

Iron Man - HA

Pepper Potts - speak again and you’ll be grounded too

GreatestSpy - HA

Iron Man - Aren’t you going to tell her off?!
Pepper Potts - Natasha can do what she likes.

GreatestSpy - HA!

_________________

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon

Turns out that Steve and Bucky can make a pretty good pizza. Who knew?

_________________

Victoria @VicLu

Is it bad that I’m lowkey attracted to Bucky as the Winter Soldier??

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @VicLu

Yeah

Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @VicLu

Nah

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Pepper Potts - I need everyone to listen up. Okay? This is important to me and to you. The PR team has been monitoring the responses you’ve been getting. Support for the Avengers? Way up since Bucky and Steve got Twitter because they’re sharing more than we ever did before. People are liking knowing about what we do in our spare time. Like the interviewer last night said, the people don’t know us. So, the PR team wants to film us for a day to show the public what we’re like in private. If we’re all against it I can say no, but my two sense? It’s a good idea. And you don’t have to be in it all day, just appear for a few moments. Okay?

Captain America’s Bitch - will there be cameramen?

Pepper Potts - No. I said they can set up and go.

Captain America’s Bitch - will it be live?

Pepper Potts - No, the highlights will be compiled and shared the next day.

Captain America’s Bitch - cool. I’m in

Captain Ass-Merica - I’m fine with it.

Falcon - I don’t mind

GreatestSpy - I won’t be acting like my normal self 100% but I’m fine

Hawkeye - Same ^^^

Iron Man - doesn’t worry me.

Wanda - okay.

Bruce Banner - I’m fine with. So long as there are no cameras in the lab.

Pepper Potts - Thank you. Seriously. Hopefully, this gets them off my back. I’ll set up a date and let you all know long beforehand, no surprises. Also, Steve and Bucky, I asked you to go one hour without causing a panic and what did you do? You went ahead and caused a panic. I got twelve emails from ten people in the space of five minutes because of your little stunt!

Hawkeye - What’d they do??

Hawkeye - OH

Hawkeye - You were attracted to the Winter Soldier??

Captain Ass-Merica - no comment

Captain America’s Bitch - I SHOT YOU

Captain Ass-Merica - Look, maybe it was because I love you but you were sexy.

GreatestSpy - murder strut

Captain Ass-Merica - basically

Iron Man - National hero everyone

Iron Man - as soon as you come out I’m tweeting that

Iron Man - FYI

Captain America’s Bitch - I’m still confused on why you and others were attracted to me. I was a killing machine.

Wanda - a sexy killing machine

Iron Man - WANDA!

Captain America’s Bitch - Oh my god

Captain America’s Bitch - OH wait is that why

Captain America’s Bitch - in the gym you were

Captain America’s Bitch - ...

Captain Ass-Merica - continue typing and I’m never doing it again.

Captain Ass-Merica - that’s what I thought

Iron Man - what did you do to my gym!?!?

Hawkeye - I’m never going to the tower gym again.

Captain America’s Bitch - virgins.

Iron Man - WTF

_________________

Pepper @PepPotts

Sometimes I think Steve and Bucky wake up and go ‘how can we annoy Pepper today?’

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @PepPotts

Love you Pepper!

Pepper @PepPotts In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

You’re still grounded

_________________

Pepper Potts Love Bot @lexa73

GROUNDED I LOVE

Stucky Lover @kirahiggs

Ugh my heart is full

Bucky Love Bot @sam_white

Bucky’s just so cute

OMS @ollieSith In reply to @sam_white

He’s a fucking assassin!

Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @ollieSith

Yeah but a cute one

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Pepper Potts - Steve!

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

My knight in shining armour

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Pepper Potts - Bucky!!

_________________

Brian Dale @senBrianDale

Steve Rogers (Captain AMERICA) supports the right kind of marriage. One man and one woman. The idea that he supports anything else is #fakenews. Don’t listen to the left wing nutjobs who disagree.

Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @senBrianDale

Hi. Steve Rogers here. No, you’re completely and utterly wrong. You’re just a homophobic dick looking for anything to back up your bigoted and unwanted views.

Brian Dale @senBrianDale In reply to @cptrogers1918

It’s not bigoted or unwanted. It’s the Christian way, which we should be emulating. Gay people need to #repent and understand it’s a sin. No matter who says it’s not.

Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @senBrianDale

Again, unwanted and bigoted. I’ve heard people talking like you for ninety years. I’ve also seen people fighting people like you for just as long. Your time is up. Understand?

Brian Dale @senBrianDale In reply to @cptrogers1918

You know nothing. You’ve been in a coma for seventy years.

Steve Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @senBrianDale

Yet I’m still more woke then you.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Captain Ass-Merica - Sorry Pepper

Pepper Potts - I can let this one slide.

Falcon - I’M STILL MORE WOKE THEN YOU HOLY SHIT STEVE

Hawkeye - it’s got fifteen million likes already. Amazing.

Falcon - this is the best thing ever

Bruce Banner - way to go Steve. He’s a dick

Iron Man - he is, keeps trying to take money from sick kids.

GreatestSpy - as the kids say; get rekt

Captain Ass-Merica - Live to serve

Captain America’s Bitch - I stan.

Iron Man - You’re excused this time

Captain America’s Bitch - why

Iron Man - I agree

Captain Ass-Merica - Glad you all agree

Captain America’s Bitch - kinda have to

Captain America’s Bitch - cause you know

Captain America’s Bitch - gay

Captain Ass-Merica - thanks for confirming

Falcon - they’re probably cuddling right now or something gross like that.

Captain Ass-Merica - he’s on my lap.

Iron Man - ugh goodbye

Captain America’s Bitch - you’re just jealous

Iron Man - I will remove you

GreatestSpy - this chat is wild

GreatestSpy - and so is Bucky

GreatestSpy - so makes sense I guess

Captain America’s Bitch - you’re jealous as well

GreatestSpy - that I’m not on Steve’s lap??

Captain America’s Bitch - sit on Steve’s lap and I will cut you :)

Falcon - that was the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen

_________________

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon

Bucky can be so cute and sweet and then he does something like he just did and you have to stare at the screen for a while.  

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @flying_falcon

He’s so annoying

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @blackwidow_baby

And also weirdly dirty for a hundred-year-old

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @youknowho-Iam

When do you think sex was invented?? Remember, we were in the army and grew up in Brooklyn.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @cptrogers1918

My eyes

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

They’re just jealous of what I got ;)

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

NO

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @youknowho-Iam

HaHaHa

_________________

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon

This is how they look after Steve and I go for an hour run. One hour. They act like it’s the end of the world.

Gxk6iMc6_400x400

_________________

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @flying_falcon

Cause it is
_________________

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Chapter Text

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Steve’s on a mission and I’m bored. What should I do?

Bucky Barnes Love Bot @sam_white   In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Answer our questions!!

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

#AskBucky go ahead

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Pepper Potts - Really? #AskBucky

Captain America’s Bitch - I thought you wanted to humanize us

Pepper Potts - honestly

_________________

Pepper @PepPotts

#AskBucky have you made it your life mission to annoy me?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @PepPotts

No. Promise.

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

#AskBucky what are you doing right now?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Eating crumpets, watching Buzzfeed unsolved and answering questions

Ditzy Daisy @DaisyDo

#AskBucky Shaniac or Boogara

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @DasiyDo

I’m a Boogara and Steve’s a Shaniac

Poppy @PoppyGurl

How much time do you spend with Steve???? Love you! #AskBucky

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @PopyGurl

If we’re in the same city we’re together. So, maybe, 90% of my life.

Thursday @ThursdayMay

Are you happy living with the Avengers? #AskBucky

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @ThursdayMay

Yeah. They don’t care that sometimes I forget where I am and stuff. Which is nice.

Micheal Micheal Micheal @M_dust

#Ask Bucky How does it feel knowing you’re a traitor to the country and should have been put down like the dog you are

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @M_dust

Pretty bad. But Steve says I shouldn’t and I trust him more than you so...

Poppy @PoppyGurl

Don’t feel bad. The majority of people don’t blame you! #FuckHydra

_________________

Avengers Assemble

GreatestSpy - you sure you want to do this?

Captain America’s Bitch - yeah, why?

Iron Man - have you seen some of the replies?

Captain America’s Bitch - yeah. I just won’t answer them

Falcon - you already did?

Captain America’s Bitch - piss off Sam and get back to work

Iron Man - be careful. I’m not paying if you break my tower in a Soviet Rage

_________________

Private Message Between James Barnes and Steve Rogers

Stevie - Bucky

Bucky - aren’t you working

Stevie - I saw the messages coming up

Stevie - A lot of people are angry at you and I don’t want you to see it.

Bucky - a lot of people protested outside the tower and court. I can handle a few people on the internet.

Stevie - What they’re saying isn’t true. You know that, right?

Stevie - Bucky?

Stevie - It wasn’t you.

Bucky - Yeah, I know that.

Bucky - Now.

Bucky - Sometimes.

Bucky - I love you Steve

Stevie - Love you too, always will. Just stay safe, okay?

Bucky - Always.

Bucky - just like you’re gonna stay safe on the mission.

_________________

DiggerDave5000 @davediggs

What’s something you miss from before the war? #AskBucky

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @davediggs

BANANAS whatever you have today aren’t bananas.

Llama Fucker @redToby

What’s your favorite food?? #AskBucky

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @redToby

Chocolate Pretzels. Steve and I would save up for ages to go and get some on Sundays.

Alex @Alex99

#AskBucky Are you and Steve a couple???

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Alex99

Do you know how many people have asked me that??

Alex @Alex99 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

We want to know!

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Alex99

I love Steve with all my heart - always have. But our relationship isn’t like that.

_________________

Private Message Between James Barnes and Steve Rogers

Stevie - Bucky

Bucky - dejavu

Bucky - what’s up?

Stevie - just don’t answer the questions about our relationship

Bucky - if I don’t people will speculate

Stevie - they’re speculating now!

Bucky - I won’t answer any more

Stevie - When we come out I don’t want it to be because you let something slip on Twitter thank you very much

Bucky - how do you want to???

Stevie - idk

Bucky - WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT
Stevie - none of your business brb ttyl

Bucky - ugh

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Changed my mind. Steve’s canceled.

_________________

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Science Bros

Screen Shot 2018-09-08 at 1.29.22 PM

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Bird Bros

2ed4892b5dea6f9cc7af4af074927c25--anthony-mackie-jeremy-renner

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Frozen Bros

0E0014B2-ABBF-4482-8131-D2F1C8DF3C05

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Aren’t you on a mission? And where did you get that photo? And frozen bros?

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Multitasking and off Steve’s phone

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Where did Steve get it from??? Don’t remember taking it.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

It was at Tony’s party thing. Someone else took it and Steve got it from them.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Oh. I think all his photos are downloaded from the internet lol

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Also, can you get back to work so Steve doesn’t die? Thanks!

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Multitasking!

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Could you stop that and help us?? We’re about to go???

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby and @flying_falcon

Don’t let Steven die, please. That’d be annoying.

$$Yam @yamGod In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

#AskBucky why’d it be annoying if he died?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @yamGod

Steve makes really good pancakes.

Shane @shamwow In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

#AskBucky that’s the only reason?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @shamwow

Uhh yeah.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Captain Ass-Merica - your concern for me is overwhelming

Captain America’s Bitch - why are you on your phone!

Falcon - we’ve finished

GreatestSpy - I’m thinking Chinese tonight

Hawkeye - I could go Chinese

Captain Ass-Merica - apparently the only thing I’m good at is pancakes so we may as well order in.

Captain America’s Bitch -

Falcon - you say anything about what Steve’s good at and I’m dropping you off the tower

Falcon - that’s what I thought.

Captain Ass-Merica - we’ll pick up dinner on our way through. The normal?

Iron Man - yeah but get me spring rolls

Hawkeye - say please

Iron Man - bitch, who’s paying?

Hawkeye - you pay us in food. That’s how it goes

Iron Man - poor people

Captain America’s Bitch - Stevie and I ain’t poor

Iron Man - Yes you are????

Captain America’s Bitch - no we’re millionaires boo

Iron Man has removed Captain America’s Bitch from the chat

Iron Man - Wait

Iron Man has added Captain America’s Bitch to the chat

Iron Man - How??

Iron Man - you don’t have a paying job?

Falcon - Etsy?

Hawkeye - male modeling?

Captain America’s Bitch - back pay

Captain Ass-Merica - not that you need to know figures

Hawkeye - no, we need to know

Falcon - you got back pay?

Captain Ass-Merica - I was never declared KIA, only MIA. Don’t know how Peggy did it but she did. And Bucky was a POW for 70 years. We got enough to be happy.

Captain America’s Bitch - Stark’s still paying for dinner though.

Captain Ass-Merica - and we grew up in the depression. We know how to be thrifty.

GreatestSpy - with a few minutes of research I think it’s about 2 mil each.

Captain America’s Bitch - no

James Rhodes - more like 5mil?

Iron Man - Rhodey?? I added you to this chat???

James Rhodes - Yeah. I’ve been in Iraq and couldn’t check my phone.

James Rhodes - am I right?

Iron Man changed James Rhodes name to Rhodey

Captain America’s Bitch - no.

Hawkeye - so like 3-4?

Captain America’s Bitch - no.

Captain America’s Bitch - stop asking Steve’s uncomfortable

Hawkeye - you’re not in the same place how do you know that?

Captain America’s Bitch - Stevie Senses

Iron Man has removed Captain America’s Bitch from the chat

Iron Man - I still want to know.

Captain Ass-Merica - about 7 each.

_________________

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon

I just found out that Steve and Bucky are richer than I thought and I want to go back

$$Yam @yamGod

#AskBucky how rich are you?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @yamGod

First the Avengers and now the public. Thanks, Sam. It’s private.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Steve told us

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

I wouldn’t know, would I??

Alex @Alex99 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

What happened #AskBucky

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Alex99

I got kicked out of the group chat again

_________________

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

He deserved it

_________________

Rachel @rachxpeach

#AskBucky favourite movie?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @rachxpeach

Nosferatu played at our cinema for a second time when we were like 12 so Steve and I snuck in through a service door to watch it because they wouldn’t let us in and we couldn’t sleep for weeks, we were terrified. Probably that. Steve’s was Snow White though.

JJ @jjhigh In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

#AskBucky Snow White? Wasn’t expecting that.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @jjhigh

Oh yeah. He liked looking at the drawings.

Aher @ashash

So did you guys see the first movie with sound??? #AskBucky

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @ashash

Yup! In ‘27. We were 9 and 10. Our families went together, it was Steve’s late birthday present.

Emily @uhem

#AskBucky favorite movie from the 21st century?? Or just genres?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @uhem

Tough question. I like any (animated) Disney movie. Horrors are cool as well. Don’t really like the CGI though, it’s very strange to see. And Action is banned in the Tower so can’t really have an opinion on that.

YunSpite @spite001

#AskBucky - who was better at adjusting to the 21st century?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @spite001

Probably me because I had Steve and a few fragmented memories of the world post WW2.

Mike @mikeOconnor

Favorite food that wasn’t around in the 30’s? #AskBucky

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @mikeOconnor

Anything sweet. It was around back then but we could hardly ever afford it. And now I can buy as much as I want. Our apartment looks like a sweet shop most of the time (to Steve’s annoyance)

Gina Gina Gina @GG6

Do you and Steve live together then? Like - same room and all that ;) #AskBucky

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @GG6

We live in the same apartment, yes. And I don’t keep candy in my bedroom.

Chad @ChaddWin

Does Steve not like candy? #AskBucky

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @ChaddWin

No, he doesn’t all that much. He likes salty things.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Is that why he likes you?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

Ha. Ha.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Falcon added Captain America’s Bitch to the chat

Falcon - we’re at the Chinese shop now. Last requests?

Captain America’s Bitch - hurry up

Falcon - rude

Iron Man - my spring rolls

Captain America’s Bitch - just hurry up

Falcon - dude we can’t go any faster

Iron Man - my spring rolls

Captain America’s Bitch - threaten the cooks to make it faster

Captain America’s Bitch - it’s easy

Captain Ass-Merica - No threatening the public

Captain America’s Bitch - I was joking

Falcon - you’re hilarious

Iron Man - my spring rolls

Captain America’s Bitch - I try

Falcon - why is your sense of humor so strange

Captain America’s Bitch - kidnapped and tortured for 70 years

Hawkeye - that’ll do it

Falcon - why do I even try?

Iron Man - BITCH my spring rolls

Captain Ass-Merica - we’re heading home now

Iron Man - BITCH MY ROLLS

Captain Ass-Merica - yeah we got them

Falcon - damn tony calm down

Iron Man - I hate you all so much

Hawkeye - I’ll eat your spring rolls

Iron Man - I will eat your vent snacks

Hawkeye - how

Iron Man - Jarvis

Iron Man - hurry up with my rolls

Captain America’s Bitch - hurry up with my Steve

Iron Man - god your gross

Captain America’s Bitch - You’re

Falcon - I’ll remove you if you pull that again

Captain America’s Bitch - sorry

Captain America’s Bitch - but still. Hurry up with my steve

Iron Man - and my rolls

_________________

Addy @addddddyy

Are you proud of Captain America? #AskBucky

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @addddddyy

No. I’m proud of Steve Rogers.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Captain Ass-Merica - I’m proud of you too Buck

Captain America’s Bitch - hurry home and show me ;)

Captain America’s Bitch - the package arrived today. We can use it tonight

Captain Ass-Merica - this is not our private chat

Captain America’s Bitch - huh

Captain Ass-Merica - ignore us??

Iron Man - why does god hate us?

Hawkeye - Fool. God abandoned us years ago, we’re on our own in this world now.

_________________

Bruce Banner @dr_banner

There are things that you shouldn’t say in a group chat.

Am I really her? @blackwidown_baby

Why does God hate us? - Tony Stark, not overreacting for once.

Rhodey @war_machine_rox

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t an Avenger

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @war_machine_rox

I’m with you

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

Somedays I wish I was blind not deaf. Just so I don’t have to read what they say.

Wanda Maximoff @scarletxwitch

“Fool. God abandoned us years ago, we’re on our own in this world now.” - Wise words from Clint Barton

_________________

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918

I feel like they’re angry at us.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

I think so too

_________________

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

@cptrogers1918 and @sgtbarnes1917 I’ll forgive you when I get my spring rolls

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

But also never talk to me or look me in the eye again

_________________

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Chapter Text

Avengers Assemble

Pepper Potts - Morning everyone.

Hawkeye - it is 6 am. Too early to be messaging the group chat

Pepper Potts - Remember how I said that we were going to be filmed and then that footage would be made into an hour-long TV special?? Remember that? Great. Well, it’s happening today. When you go onto the common floor there will be cameras set up. All of them are obvious, none are hidden and there only in common areas. No bedrooms/labs/personal floors. So; the main kitchen, living room, gym, movie room, and the roof. They’ve asked that everyone has at least a little bit of screen time so we’re all having breakfast together at 8 am, as if we were having our normal brunch.

Iron Man - how normal do they want us?

Pepper Potts - as normal as possible. Pretend the cameras aren’t there.

Pepper Potts - thank you for agreeing to this.

Pepper Potts - see you at breakfast.

_________________

Narrator

Over a montage of clips from previous Avengers battles

The Avengers. People we trust with our lives, with our cities, with our everything. People we look up to in times of need and stress. We know the basics, stuff we learned in history books or news articles or brief appearances on TV shows and on the streets. Today, today that changed. For the first time in Avenger history, we are allowed to film a standard day in the Avengers tower. In this TV3 special you will get to see how the superheroes we all love, live. Avengers Tower Kitchen and Breakfast bar. Natasha, Clint, Sam, Tony, Wanda, and Bruce are sitting at the breakfast bar with Pepper cooking.

Tony

Bacon’s better than ham it’s a known fact of life.

Bruce

No. Ham’s better, you don’t have to cook it.

Wanda

Bacon’s better for breakfast. Ham for lunch and then pork for dinner. Easy.

Tony

Bacon’s better for every meal.

Natasha

Pork in general's dumb.

Clint

To hard. Order pizza and you’re done.

Bruce

Not for breakfast.

Clint

You’ve never been to my apartment in the morning.

Natasha

Why am I with you?

Clint

Feeling the love.

Pepper

Where’s Steve and Bucky?

Sam

They said they were headed to the gym before breakfast

Pepper

Can someone go and get them?

Steve

Walking into the room with Bucky standing right beside. Bucky looks at each camera before stepping closer to Steve. Steve brushes their hands together and smiles at Bucky who looks more at ease . We’re here.

Tony

Bacon or ham?

Steve

Ham.

Bucky

Bacon.

Sam

Great, we’re still having this conversation. This is what I want to be doing right now.

Bucky

As Steve and Bucky sit down beside Sam. Why are we discussing this?

Tony

Because bacon is clearly the top tier and there are certain people who don’t think that. Ham is nothing and doesn’t deserve to be compared to bacon. The people that think differently need to be called out and shown how wrong they are. Don’t you agree?

Bucky

Bacon’s better but ham sandwiches are really good.

Tony

You have such basic tastes.

Steve

We grew up in the depression. What do you accept?

Sam

Two words. Mayonnaise cake.

Natasha

Is that actually a thing?

Steve

Yeah, when we didn’t have butter or milk we’d make desserts with mayonnaise.

Pepper

Pointing at Tony who stands and helps her put plates and bowls of food out in front of everyone . Foods up. Ham and Bacon, take your pick.

Steve

Standing and walking to a cupboard above the fridge. Flavour?

Bucky

Eyes flickering to the cameras with noticeable unease. Whatever you're having.

Steve

Pulling out two packets of chocolate protein powder and mixing it with milk. Alright

Natasha

What are you guys doing for the rest of the day? Clint and I were thinking of training after breakfast if anyone wants to join. She brings out a pocket knife, throwing it to Bucky who catches it without looking up from his plate. We’re practicing with our knives, haven’t seen you with one for ages.  

Bucky

Flips the knife around in his hand three times before putting it in the band of his jeans and shrugging. Maybe.

Tony

Sam, I have that new upgrades for the wings we were talking about. You wanna play after breakfast?

Sam

Sure. Steve you up for a match?

Steve

Always.

Natasha

So it’s settled. Knife fun first then we can throw stuff at Sam.

Sam

Good day.

_________________

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

BUCKY AND STEVE ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER #Avengerson3

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Addy @addddddyy

I don’t know what I was expecting but this isn’t it. #Avengerson3

Aher @ashash

#Avengerson3 KNIFE FUN

Benson @BB_Benson In reply to @ashash

Should they even let Bucky touch knives. Kinda assumed he’d be banned from weapons, ya know?

Aher @ashash In reply to @BB_Benson

If they’re happy with it who cares?  

Emily @uhem

#Avengerson3 They’re so sweet together. More of a family than a team.

Shar @shamer

I’m so happy they agreed to do this. Also, Natasha can impale me with her knife any day and I’d say thanks. #Avengerson3

YunSpite @spite001

#Avengerson3 my new favorite thing

Mike @mikeOconnor

#Avengerson3 the stucky content we’re gonna get

Hope Elise @HElise

We talk about Stucky but Pepperony and Clintasha?? Valid. #Avengerson3

Gina Gina Gina @GG6

So Bucky wasn’t lying. They do spend all their time together. Amazing. #Avengerson3

_________________

Rachel @rachxpeach

#Avengerson3 let’s just throw shit at Sam

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @rachxpeach

It’s our favorite hobby

JJ @jjhigh

#Avengerson3 what’s with the chocolate powder? Getting the gains lol

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @jjhigh

They’re calorie rich smoothies, so we don’t have to eat 4x what a normal person eats.

_________________

The Avengers gym. Steve, Bucky, and Sam are all on treadmills. Steve and Bucky are racing while Sam laughs at a jogging pace. Natasha and Clint are on the mats in the middle of the room, sparring with each other. As the scene opens Natasha pins Clint down with a satisfied grin. When they stand Sam gets off his treadmill, leaving Steve and Bucky to continue. Sam, Natasha, and Clint, who are all out of breath and grinning, go over to a rack of throwing knives. Steve and Bucky stop their treadmills and walk over to the others as well, neither are out of breath.

Sam

Who won?

Steve

Not you

Sam

Harsh

Bucky

Me

Clint

Steve probably let you win

Bucky

Wanna race?

Natasha

He’s just sour because of yesterday.

Bucky

Of course, he is. Don’t know why he’s surprised. I’m the better sniper.

Clint

You’ve had more time to practice. And the whole ‘if you’re bad at it you get punished’ shit.

Bucky

If that helps you sleep at night.

Natasha

Throw some knives boys, might help you feel better. Everyone picks up five knives each and weight them. Against one wall five targets are already set up. Each target has multiple bullseyes and they are already cut up. Everyone stands fifty meters back from one target and begins to throw the knives. Clint and Bucky finish first, Natasha a close third. Steve and Sam both finish around the same time. They walk to their target. Clint and Bucky’s have a knife sticking out of each bullseye perfectly. Steve’s is close and Natasha is not far behind him. Sam’s are good but he only got one bullseye.

Sam

Why do I even try?

Steve

You did fine. All kill shots.

Sam

When did my life become this?

Natasha

So dramatic.

Clint

Looks like I bet you, Buck Boy.

Bucky

Tensing and stepping closer to Steve, who again brushes their hands together with a warm smile. Looks like you did, finally.

Clint

You’re no fun.

Natasha

Hand to hand?

Clint

I’m in.

Sam

Pulling out his phone that just beeped gotta go. My new wings are ready. Meet me on the roof in about half an hour if you want to throw shit at me. He turns, puts his knives back on the rack and leaves the gym.

Steve

Buck? Wanna spar?

Bucky

Always. Get ready to be beaten.

Steve

Nah, I’ll win.

Bucky

I’ve been beating you since we were babies.

Natasha

As Clint and Natasha step back, leaving the floor open for Bucky and Steve. Who start circling each other, each has a pocket knife in their hand and a grin on their face. Are you boys gonna fight or just check each other out for a few hours? Clint laughs, prompting Natasha to as well.

Bucky

Who says we can’t do both?

The scene cuts to black just as they advance on each other. Commercials come on, the first one is for a new product targeted at children - Avengers themed pillowcases and duvets and sheets. The parent in the ad clearly wants the product for himself but it is never addressed.

_________________

Aher @ashash

#Avengerson3 KNIFE FUN INTENSIFIES  

Aher @ashash

I could watch this forever. Can the Avengers just have their own reality TV show now? #Avengerson3

Mike @mikeOconnor

#Avengerson3 why’d it have to cut awayyyyyyy

Hope Elise @HElise

Clintasha is still superior. They’re FUCKING GOALS  #Avengerson3

Gina Gina Gina @GG6

I wanted to see them fighting so badly #Avengerson3

Emily @uhem

#Avengerson3 can’t wait to see them throw shit at Sam.

Angie @fallenangel

So did Bucky just admit to checking Steve out?

Shar @shamer

Imagine being that good at running #cantrelate #Avengerson3

YunSpite @spite001

#Avengerson3 they’re so happy to be fighting with each other. It’s sweet. They clearly trust each other a lot.

Rachel @rachxpeach

#Avengerson3 Steve ‘jokes about kill shots’ Rogers

Addy @addddddyy

I wanted to see them fight! Let a girl watch #Avengerson3

_________________

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

#Avengerson3 that knife flip Bucky did? My new kink.

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

BITCH STEVE ROGERS LIKED THIS TWEET I’M FUCKING SCREAMING

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Pepper Potts - Really Steve?

Captain America’s Bitch - knife kink? I had no idea

Pepper Potts - I’m going to have a heart attack

Captain America’s Bitch - Why are people attracted to the murder part of me?

Captain America’s Bitch - kinda freaks me out

Captain Ass-Merica - I just liked it because I thought it was funny

Falcon - yeah okay

Hawkeye - I’m pretty sure he passed out while they were sparing and now I know why

Iron Man - my poor gym

Iron Man - super soldiers are banned from the gym until further notice

Captain Ass-Merica - Nothing happened

Hawkeye - But you do have a knife kink?

Captain Ass-Merica has removed Hawkeye from the chat

_________________

The scene opens on the roof of the Avengers tower. Sam is standing on the edge with his wings strapped to his back. Tony is standing to one side on a tablet. Wanda and Bruce are talking quietly between themselves beside the elevator. The elevator doors open and Natasha, Clint, Steve and Bucky all get out. Clint says something and Steve pushes him, rolling his eyes. They walk over to Tony and stand quietly until the elevator doors open again a few minutes later, this time Rhodey arrives with two baskets as tall as his hips that are full of tennis balls beside him. Steve goes over and helps him carry the baskets to the others, setting them down near the edge.

Tony

Alright. We’re ready to go. Sam’s gonna fly around and we’re gonna chuck balls at him.

Sam

Is there a reason for the change?

Bucky

I feel like tennis balls are better than bouncy balls. Not everyone can hit create accuracy.

Tony

Exactly, snowflake.  

Steve

And the wings work?

Tony

Yeah, my word.

Sam

Still, tennis balls?

Natasha

Wanda? You good with collecting?

Wanda

Yeah.

Sam

Guys? It’s gonna hurt.

Bucky

You know what hurts, getting your arm ripped from your body and bleeding out in a snowy ravine for hours only to be kidnapped by Russians and tortured for 70 years and stuff. This is nothing.

Sam

Picks up a tennis ball and throws it at Bucky, who ducks out of the way. Wanda, using her powers, caught the ball and brings it back to the basket. Bucky is grinning and sticks his tongue at Sam, Steve rolls his eyes and everyone else ignores them. Sam continues to glare at Bucky, throwing another ball which Wanda catches again. I hate you so much. Just so we’re clear on that.

Bucky

Let’s go.

Sam’s wings extend out as everyone converges on the baskets of balls. Sam walks to the very edge and looks back at Tony, who gives him a thumbs up. With a sigh Sam jumps off the edge of the building, everyone is silent as they wait. Then Sam soars up in front of them, flying so he’s circling above them. Instantly Bucky throws a ball that hits him square in the chest. Sam coughs but isn’t affected otherwise. Everyone else starts throwing as well. Sam flys about randomly, he dodges the majority of them all, nearly all of Hawkeye’s and most of Bucky’s hit their target. Wanda does not throw the balls, instead, she stops the balls from falling off the tower, depositing them on the ground of the roof. Everyone, including, Sam is laughing as it goes on. Sam lands in front of everyone and bringing his new wings back in with a satisfied grin on his face. Buck throws another ball, slower and more gentle than previous ones. Sam catches it and throws it back with the same about of force. Steve reaches out before Bucky can, catching the ball and throwing it at Bucky’s head.

Steve

Looks like your reflexes aren’t that great after all.

Bucky throws the ball at Steve before sprinting to the stairs, Steve hot on his trail. Sam rolls his eyes and no one else reacts.

Sam

They work.

Tony

I can see that. Kind of surprised though.

Sam

What? - Tony!

_________________

Hope Elise @HElise

So… they’re all children? I stan  #Avengerson3

Gina Gina Gina @GG6

Bucky’s grin when he hit Steve with the ball????? #Avengerson3

Emily @uhem

UGh they’re killing me. So glad they agreed to this. #Avengerson3

Lillian #codependentandstufflikethat @littlelilli

#Avengerson3 them throwing tennis balls at Sam - amazing

Angie @fallenangel

MY little STUcky HearT is GONE #Avengerson3

large

Shar @shamer

Imagine being that good at throwing #cantrelate #Avengerson3

Aher @ashash

Still, think they need their own TV Show #Avengerson3

Mike @mikeOconnor

#Avengerson3 they’re all so happy!

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

#Avengerson3 Wanda? My Queen you mean.

Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers

This is what I live for #Avengerson3

_________________

Shane @shamwow

#Avengerson3 So did any of the tennis balls actually hit and hurt @flying_falcon?  

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @shamwow

Yeah. I have a feeling they all came from Bucky as well.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

No comment.

_________________

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

#Avengerson3 Can Bucky and Steve just kiss on camera already?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

No comment.

_________________

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Chapter Text

Avengers Tower Kitchen and Breakfast bar. Bucky is sitting at the breakfast bar with a tablet in front of him but he is watching Steve, who is in the kitchen, cooking. There is 30’s music playing, Steve is singing along while Bucky looks on in amusement.

Steve

Singing But the pleasure we both seemed to gather. I'm sure, love, I'll never forget.

Bucky

This came out before the war. My dad used to sing it to my mum and Becca would flip out when he did. Said it was the most romantic thing she had ever seen. She told me that if her husband didn’t sing to her she was going to get me to beat him up so that he would.

Steve

Yeah, they did. She made me listen once as well, stuck my head against your bedroom wall and threw a doll at you to make you stop talking.

Bucky

We listened to it in France as well though.

Steve

Dugan kept singing it, we all just joined in.

Bucky

Oh! Yeah, said it was - ha.

Steve

Pushing a plate of multiple sandwiches in between the two of them. Yup. Alright, lunch’s ready. Morita would hum it all the time, especially when we were camping in the woods. Or when we were in meeting with Phillips or Peg.

Bucky

Yeah, I remember that. Thanks.

Sam

Walking into the room with a sandwich in hand. What are you guys up to?

Steve

Discussing wartime music.

Sam

No thanks.

Bucky

What? You don’t want to hear about the songs we sang? Do you know how many of the songs were about Steve? So many of them, and I remember making some of them up. It was, uh, Monty and I that made the most of them up.

Sam

About what?

Bucky

Anything. Different raids, how he looked, him getting told off. Little poems that spread because we told them to people. No matter how much Steve begged us not to.

Steve

Some friend you are.

Bucky

Grinning while picking up the sandwich from his plate. You love me.

Sam

And I’m gone.

Steve

Love you too Sam

Sam stands up and he leaves the room. Grumbling under his breath, the only words audible are ‘Steve’ ‘Bucky’ and ‘idiots’. Steve grins at Bucky, who laughs and shakes his head.

Steve

Singing Oh, I'm thinking tonight of my blue eyes. Who is sailing far over the sea. I'm thinking tonight of my blue eyes. And I wonder if he ever thinks of me.

Bucky

You’re such a good singer.

Steve

Oh please, you love it, don’t lie to yourself. Eat another sandwich. Steve pushes the plate over to Bucky again and Bucky takes another one before pushing the plate back to Steve for him to take another sandwich. Steve picks it up and then the two of them vacate the room together. As they walk out Steve puts one arm around Bucky’s shoulders and Bucky rests his head on Steve’s shoulder.

_________________

Gina Gina Gina @GG6

OMG OMG OMG OMG STEVE AND BUCKY FUCKING HUGGING AS THEY WALKED OUT I AM DEAD #stucky #Avengerson3

Mike @mikeOconnor

#Avengerson3 Bucky looked so happy when they were talking about the past

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Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

#Avengerson3 Sam? My man.

Aher @ashash

My heart can’t take this anymore #Avengerson3

Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers

The song??? Bucky’s dad singing it to his mom back before and the war and now Steve’s singing it to him as well? #Stucky #Avengerson3

Emily @uhem

That song as well -BLUE EYES- they both have blue-ish eyes and they got it sung to them all the time?? #stucky #Avengerson3

Angie @fallenangel

Sam just ‘noping’ out of there #Avengerson3

Lillian #codependentandstufflikethat @littlelilli

#Avengerson3 Discussing their old life together in their new life and just reminiscing #stucky

_________________

Avengers Tower living room. The sun is setting shown clearly through the floor to ceiling windows behind everyone. Natasha, Clint, Sam, Tony, Pepper, Rhodey Wanda, Bruce, Steve, and Bucky are all sitting on sofas facing each other. Clint is sitting on Natasha's chair’s armrest. Tony has his arm around Pepper. Bucky and Steve sit pressed up against each other on a loveseat and Steve has his arm around the back of Bucky and are ignoring everyone else, whispering back and forth between themselves. On the table, in the middle of them all are cups and bowls full of snacks and there is a stack of empty pizza boxes behind the sofa. Clint is throwing blueberries into Wanda’s mouth. There’s a movie on in the background but no one is watching it, instead, they are talking and laughing amongst themselves.

Tony

I still think my suit would win.

Natasha

Against two super soldiers?

Tony

Yeah!

Rhodey

Depends on how angry they are.

Hawkeye

They can punch pretty hard though.  

Natasha

Do they have the shield?

Tony

Yes.

Natasha

No way you’d win.

Tony

That’s so rude. My suits could take it.

Natasha

One hit to the arc reactor and you’d die.

Tony

Jesus, no one said anything about death. Just winner vs loser.

Natasha

So who lives and who dies.

Tony

There’s something seriously wrong with you. Cap, Bucky, wanna weigh in? Steve and Bucky look up and at the others . Or are you to busy declaring your love for each other over there. Steve and Bucky both roll their eyes. Natasha whispers something to Clint. Who do you think would win in a fight? Me in my latest suit or the two of you working together with your shield but nothing else.

Steve

Us.

Bucky

Yeah, no question. They go back to their own conversation ignoring Tony trying to get their attention.

Tony

I feed and house you all and this is the thanks I get.

Rhodey

Don’t feel bad. At least your house is the best.

Tony

Laughs and shakes his head. You’re ridiculous. Anyway, does anyone want to watch another movie? I was thinking horror, something with thinly veiled references to the Soviet downfall perhaps. To rub it in the he mock-glares at Bucky Russian’s faces.

Bucky

Not Russian. Been an American longer than anyone else in this room so ha. But I do want to watch a movie.

Tony

Good, Jarvis, roll the next movie on Cap’s playlist. We’ll go from there.

_________________

Aher @ashash

After a long day of throwing shit at Sam and knife fun, it’s movie time #Avengerson3

Mike @mikeOconnor

#Avengerson3 Rub it in the Russian’s faces Tony says - ignoring the actual Russian

Hope Elise @HElise

Clint throwing blueberries at Wanda?? Cured my depression  #Avengerson3

Gina Gina Gina @GG6

They just chill most days apparently. I was accepting more action #Avengerson3

Emily @uhem

#Avengerson3 STEVE AND BUCKY PRESSED UP AGAINST EACH OTHER (HUGGING), IGNORING EVERYONE ELSE IN THE ROOM SO THEY CAN BE ‘ALONE’ AND WHISPERING TO EACH OTHER?? THERE IS NO HETERO EXPLANATION FOR THIS

Angie @fallenangel

#Avengerson3 ‘Declaring your love for each other’ - Tony Stark about Bucky and Steve, 2015.

YunSpite @spite001

#Avengerson3 Tony just being so done with everyone is my aesthetic

Rachel @rachxpeach

#Avengerson3 This show has just,,,,,, outsold in every way imaginable.

Addy @addddddyy

Can this be a weekly thing?? #Avengerson3

_________________

Shar @shamer

STEVE BRUSHED HIS LIPS AGAINST BUCKY’S CHEEK THIS IS NOT A DRILL #Avengerson3

Lillian #codependentandstufflikethat @littlelilli In reply to @shamer

Where!!!!

Shar @shamer In reply to @littlelilli

35:89!!

Lillian #codependentandstufflikethat @littlelilli In reply to @shamer

BITCH HE BASICALLY KISSED HIM

_________________

Avengers Tower living room. The sun has set and the lights are on low. The sofas have been pushed apart so there is a large space in the middle of the room. Bucky and Natasha are standing in front of everyone else who are sitting on the sofas. Swing music plays through the speakers. Steve is grinning and everyone looks excited at what is happening. Bucky and Natasha get ready. The music gets louder as a new song starts and Bucky and Natasha start dancing. They’re not the best. Some of their steps get muddled up and the twirls go wrong.

Natasha

This is torture. I thought ballet was bad. She sits down next to Clint, shaking her head rapidly. Gotta hand it to you lot, your dancing sucks.

Tony

Steve, show us how to dance.

Steve

Not a very good dancer.

Bucky

Oh come on, that’s not true. We used to dance all the time. Oh! Remember that time in the dancehall opposite our apartment at the time. Uh, around the docks somewhere. We were going with, um, Lizzie and Faith. He turns to the others Steve and I got all dressed up and went on over, ready for our date, and the girls just never turned up. Their friend came running over about an hour later and said Lizzie had broken her leg but the next day I saw them walking around town. Do you remember that Stevie? First - and last - time I was ever stood up.

Steve

I remember that, but it wasn’t the first time you’d been stood up. You wanted to go and get ice-cream with a girl in our class, Mary, and she never turned up.

Bucky

Why?

Steve

John asked her out the same day and she went with him. We were probably 12? It was a good thing though, their parents were not happy.

Bucky

Oh yeah! I lived next to John and we watched Mary’s mom arrive and yell at John’s mom for allowing him to ask her out. We stayed real quiet while that happened. Did I tape Becca’s mouth closes?

Steve

That was later on when we were living together.

Bucky

I stole something.

Steve

Money.

Tony

Wait, the embodiment of America’s best friend was a thief? And you didn’t care?

Steve

If he didn’t I’d be dead so I didn’t mind, no. After a pause of confused silence, I needed my heart medicine and we had no money.

Bucky

And you don’t need it now so get up here and dance. Steve sighs but stands anyway, walking over to Bucky and getting into position as the music gets louder again. Bucky leads them through the song, dipping and twirling Steve all over the room as everyone else laughs and claps, encouraging them. Steve and Bucky are both grinning as well, and as the music slows down they up waltzing around, staring at each other and talking quietly. The music ends and the two of them dramatically bow to the others. Alright, we’ll see you guys in the morning. We’re going to bed. Steve waves as Bucky pulls them away and to the elevator, the others wave back before turning to each other and start talking again.

_________________

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

#Avengerson3 I’m sobbing on the floor holy ahhhhh

Ditzy Daisy @DaisyDo

#Avengerson3 is literally ruining my life

Poppy @PoppyGurl

Dancing TOGETHER #Avengerson3

Thursday @ThursdayMay

#Avengerson3 that song waS ABOUT LONG LOST LOVERS I AM SOFT

Poppy @PoppyGurl

#Avengerson3 THE MEMORIES

Aher @ashash

They pushed their sofas out of the way so that they could dance my heART #Avengerson3

Mike @mikeOconnor

#Avengerson3 He tapped his sister’s mouth closed and honestly same???

Hope Elise @HElise

Also, can we just point out that Natasha is a trained ballet dancer. She’d be able to swing dance… maybe (tin foil hats) she pretended to not know how to dance so that Steve and Bucky (the ones who knew swing) would be forced to dance together. #Avengerson3

Gina Gina Gina @GG6

Me rn #Avengerson3

3f4542870c4bfc7883ce9966562f59a3--joint-force

Emily @uhem

#Avengerson3 STEVE AND BUCKY DANCING HAS FIXED MY GRADES AND CLEARED MY SKIN AND WATERED MY CROPS

Angie @fallenangel

#Avengerson3 All these Stucky moments

Kathy || IA because life hates me @kathybabe

Bucky grinning when he talks to Steve???

Screen Shot 2018-09-11 at 9.40.33 PM

Addy @addddddyy

Still, want this be a weekly thing #Avengerson3

_________________

The Avengers kitchen. 3 AM as told by the clock in the left-hand corner of the screen. The kitchen is empty and dark. Suddenly the lights flick on and Bucky walks into the room. He’s shaking slightly and his hair is a mess, sticking up all over the place. He boils the kettle, tapping his metal hand on the counter while he waits. As he pours the boiling water into a mug Steve comes in, he is also disheveled and half asleep, stumbling around slightly.

Steve

Bucky? You okay?

Bucky

Bad dream. Did I wake you?

Steve

I got cold. What are you doing?

Bucky

Making that tea Bruce recommended. He said it could help me get back to sleep after a bad night.  

Steve

Do you need anything else?

Bucky

Uh Steve crosses the room and brings Bucky into a hug, Bucky relaxes into Steve’s arms and stops shaking. Steve presses a kiss to Bucky’s forehead as they hug. They stand like that, silent and still, for a minutes before Bucky steps back with a low and drawn out sigh and picks up his tea. He takes a sip, grimacing, but continues drinking it anyway.

Steve

It’s all right. You’re all right.

Bucky

Come on, baby doll, I want to go back to bed.

The scene fades to black as Bucky holds out his hand for Steve to take, which he does, and the two of them walk out. Credits start to roll up, thanking the Avengers and listing the other workers from the show.

_________________

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

#Avengerson3 oh so I’m dead

Ditzy Daisy @DaisyDo

#Avengerson3 I can’t deal with this right now. See you all in 1000 years.

Poppy @PoppyGurl

THEY FUCKING KISSED #Avengerson3

Thursday @ThursdayMay

#Avengerson3 STEVE COMFORTING BUCKY AFTER A NIGHTMARE BY KISSING HIM I,,,,,,

Aher @ashash

Holy holy holy shit that was so fucking gay im here for it #Avengerson3

Mike @mikeOconnor

#Avengerson3 this can’t be real??? (please be real)

Hope Elise @HElise

Ahh yes, the moment Bucky left Steve got cold, wonder why?? #stuck #Avengerson3

Gina Gina Gina @GG6

#Avengerson3 shot me it’d hurt less rn

Emily @uhem

#Avengerson3 HUGGING AND KISSING AND I’M DEAD

Angie @fallenangel

#Avengerson3 All these Stucky moments X1000

Kathy || IA because life hates me @kathybabe

Bucky called Steve BABYDOLL #Avengerson3

Addy @addddddyy

“I want to go back to bed” singular?? #Avengerson3

B @Bburtqa

Are we just ignoring the fact that Steve and Bucky are clearly in a relationship??? #stucky #Avengerson3

Elisa @Elisa24

#Avengerson3 I cried I laughed I died I am in love

Rach @rachinwonderland

#Avengerson3 was the best thing I’ve ever seen in my LIFE

Ryan’s only here because of #Avengerson3 @Ryanitists

Ugh I don’t want this to enddddd #Avengerson3

The Avengers @AvengersFanAccount03

The Avengers own my heart and soul #Avengerson3

I'll break him @stuckyfanOG

#Avengerson3 I didn’t know I could feel this much happiness in life. Thanks, @avengers

DiggerDave5000 @davediggs

First, we get Bucky on Twitter then we had #getontwitterSteve and then we had Stucky on Twitter. Then we were blessed with #askbucky and now we get #Avengerson3. We’re being blessed right now.

Llama Fucker @redToby

105243746-GettyImages-960335656.600x400 Screen Shot 2018-09-12 at 4.51.55 PM

_________________

Micheal Micheal Micheal @M_dust

#Avengerson3 yeah, we can all pretend that they’re all sweet when they’re harboring a fucking criminal. Just because he danced and smiled doesn’t mean anything. All the Avengers should be locked up because of this. #heisguilty #wintersoldier #Avengerson3

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @M_dust

Hi, kindly fuck off.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby  In reply to @M_dust

You right now

DluaLhZUwAEZKPN

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @M_dust and @blackwidow_baby

I don’t know where you found that picture but it’s true.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Captain Ass-Merica - I think that was a success

Pepper Potts - a SUCCESS!!!

Pepper Potts - Have you been on Twitter - no ANY social media??

Captain Ass-Merica - No, we haven’t.

Falcon - dude you and Bucky are trending

Iron Man - again

Hawkeye - #stucky is number 2 globally

Falcon - type in your name

 

Hawkeye - people are fighting about it.

Hawkeye - if you're together 

Pepper Potts - AND THAT’S ANOTHER THING!! People are out there fighting over the two of you. Some people are saying that you’re not together and others are saying that you. All across the world, THE WORLD people are arguing about you. PR’s pissed to high heaven and so I am I! You’re little stunt at 3 AM?? Trending, 150 emails and complaints. Dancing together? 100 emails. Fighting together? 50 emails. And that’s just the ones I’ve read and given my time to. Do you know how many open emails I’ve gotten?? One night that’s all I want.

Captain Ass-Merica - sorry Pepper. Truly. We didn’t think it would even make it into the episode. We got tea.

Falcon - the people will eat up any moment with you and Bucky in it.

Captain Ass-Merica - sorry.

Pepper Potts - where’s Bucky?

Captain Ass-Merica - sleeping but he’d be sorry as well.

Pepper Potts - it’s fine. But I need a holiday.

Iron Man - You, me, Italy.

Pepper Potts - thank you, Tony. I love you.

Hawkeye - Nat; you, me, Italian restaurant

GreatestSpy - Ugh leave me alone.

Hawkeye - why am I destined to be hated forever

Falcon - Sam, me and takeout.

Wanda - single forever squad!

Falcon - you're like 12

Falcon - I’ve been put with the kid.

Wanda - I’m not a kid!

Rhodey - we can get pizza @sam

Falcon - YEs!

Rhodey - great. Tuesday?

Falcon - perfect. I know a great place near the tower.

Iron Man - did we just witness the birth of a new relationship?

Captain America’s Bitch - sorry Pepper. I can make it up to you??

Pepper Potts - please don’t

Captain America’s Bitch - opps.

Pepper Potts - oh god.

Captain America’s Bitch - it’s not even that bad.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Please stop asking if Steve and I are in a relationship. A) none of your business but B) (and more importantly) you’re making Pepper mad at me and, honestly, she’s the scariest women I’ve meet since Peggy Carter. Thanks.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Pepper Potts - oh. I’m kind of flattered.

Pepper Potts - but Natasha (no offense) is much scarier

GreatestSpy - none taken

Captain America’s Bitch - Nah, have you seen you when you’re mad? At least I know what Nat’s gonna do. You’re downright terrifying.

GreatestSpy - that’s true. If you mess up, don’t let Pepper know.

Captain America’s Bitch - but she always knows

GreatestSpy - I think Pepper would be a good agent/Avenger.

Captain America’s Bitch - definitely. She’d give the enemy one look and bam - war’s over and we get to go home.

Pepper Potts - I’m flattered but I’m still angry.

Captain America’s Bitch - love you too Pepper.

Chapter Text

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Super soldiers are so sappy

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @blackwidow_baby

They ARE! it’s so annoying

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @flying_falcon

Not even in the same state but I bet I know what they’re doing right now.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @youknowho-Iam

Bet you that you do know. They’re so dumb.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

We’re making up for 70 years. Besides, you and Rhodey are basically a couple now anyway.  

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Rhodey and I are friends.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

‘Friends’

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Says you

Rhodey @war_machine_rox In reply to @flying_falcon

Sam and I aren’t together - just FYI. (He couldn’t handle me even if I swang that way)

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @war_machine_rox

Excuse me!!!!

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon

He blocked me.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Falcon - honestly. I thought we had something.

Rhodey - like I said you can’t handle me

Falcon - wow

Falcon - we’re over just so you know.

Captain Ass-Merica - you’re ridiculous

Falcon - what are you doing right now?

Captain Ass-Merica - messaging you

Falcon -  Steve. Where is Bucky in relation to you?

Falcon - Steven

Captain Ass-Merica - against my side.

Falcon - calling me ridiculous when you can’t even go a minute without hugging your boy toy.

Captain America's Bitch - why am I always the boy toy? Also, I came up with a great idea!

Pepper Potts - I can assure you. It’s not great.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

#AskSteve

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

If you annoy him enough he’ll join in!

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Captain Ass-Merica - not great!

Pepper Potts - I’m with Steve.

Captain America's Bitch -

tenor

Iron Man - Who taught you that????

Captain America's Bitch - me bitch

_________________

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918

Sometimes I think Bucky hates me.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918

But … go ahead. #AskSteve

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Captain America’s Bitch - love you Steve

Iron Man - you have PM for a reason

Falcon - you’re also sitting next to each other

Captain America’s Bitch - Just laying my claim.

Captain Ass-Merica - what???

Captain America’s Bitch - just laying my claim.

Captain America’s Bitch - you’re mine lol

Captain America’s Bitch - letting everyone know

GreatestSpy - we know.

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson

Steve - hey

Sam - what’s up?

Steve - if I asked for your help would you help me?

Sam - depends on what it is but probably

Steve - Nothing bad or anything.

Sam - Okay? Sure, what’s up?

Steve - stay on standby. I’m planning something.

Steve - and don’t say anything to anyone else - especially Bucky

Sam - man I am not looking to die because I kept something from your crazy boy toy.

Steve - you won’t. Promise.

Sam - Why did I let you in my house?

_________________

Rogers is my life @stevebae

#AskSteve Cats or dogs?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @stevebae

Dogs all the way.

Poppy @PoppyGurl

How much lingo do you understand now you have Twitter? #AskSteve

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @PoppyGurl

More than any other Avenger (bar Bucky)

Stanning Steve @Stevestan

#AskSteve favorite food of all time?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @Stevestan

Any warm meal is a good one in my eyes but Bucky makes a great Sunday roast.

Aher @ashash

#AskSteve favorite Avenger?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @ashash

I think I have a bias when answering this one.

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

#AskSteve How much do you love Bucky Barnes?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

From 1921 till the day I die.

Ditzy Daisy @DaisyDo

#AskSteve Would you rather stay in 2015 or go back to the 1940’s?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @DaisyDo

This is a hard one. I think I’d rather stay here. I have great friends and I get to help people more than I ever could. If you had asked this before Bucky came back it’d be a different answer but as it stands - now’s great.

Thursday @ThursdayMay

#AskSteve why don’t you like chocolate?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @ThusdayMay

Idk, I don’t really like sweet stuff. Guess it’s cause it made me sick when I was little?

Mike @mikeOconnor

#AskSteve favorite memory of all time?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @mikeOconnor

When I meet Bucky is always going to be one of the best. We were five in the schoolyard. But, the time that slept walked into our neighbors' apartment (we still don’t know how) and I woke up to Mrs. Connor screaming because Bucky was in her kitchen muttering? Also, my favorite memory and I doubt anything can top it.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

You’re such a sap.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

You love it.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

You know I do.

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff

Steve - Can you help me with something?

Natasha - I just put on sweatpants

Steve - you don’t need to move

Natasha - then sure.

Steve - yet.

Natasha - Steve???

Steve - trust me for a bit?

Natasha - Okay but give me at least ten minutes warning so I can get changed.

Steve - You’re the best.

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and Tony Stark

Steve - Tony?

Tony - Yeah

Steve - can I get some help?

Tony - what’s wrong?

Steve - nothing as of right now. But, can you make a program that mass blocks people based on keywords or phrases? For Twitter?

Tony -  Of course.

Steve - Stand-by

Tony - Ready when you are. And good luck.

Steve - Thanks.

_________________

Hope Elise @HElise

#AskSteve - opinions on Tony Stark?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @HElise

Madman

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @cptrogers1918

Well then.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Love you, Tony.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @cptrogers1918

Yeah yeah, I know you do.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Taking it back

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @cptrogers1918

You wish you could. Love you too babe (don’t tell Bucky)

_________________

Gina Gina Gina @GG6

#AskSteve least favorite Avenger??? (just kidding obviously)

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @GG6

Right now - Bucky.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Rude. What did I do??

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1918

I need a moment alone and you’re following me.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

That’s your fault. Not mine.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1918

How’s it my fault??

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

You’re cute and I want to spend time with you.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1918

Yeah same but I’m busy!

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Does anyone know what Steve’s planning? #AskSteve

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff

Steve - Distract Bucky for me?

Natasha - why

Steve - please

Natasha - fine.

Steve - thanks, Nat. You’re the best!

Natasha - I know.

_________________

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1918

I’m not planning anything.

_________________

Emily @uhem

#AskSteve Have you seen the ‘Captain America’ movies before??

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @uhem

No, I’ve heard of them and everyone keeps asking to watch them but they look so bad!

Emily @uhem In reply to @cptrogers1918

Oh, they’re terrible! But you should watch them - we watched them in high school.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @uhem

Is it even a little bit correct?

Emily @uhem In reply to @cptrogers1918

Not even a little

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @uhem

Maybe I will, later.

Angie @fallenangel

#Ask Steve favorite movie?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @fallenangel

No idea. I like drama and movies based on real life.

Kathy || IA because life hates me @kathybabe

#AskSteve thoughts on the Captain America comics?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @kathybabe

They’re strange. They were out when I was touring but I never read them. Then I wake up and they’re this huge thing. I don’t think a single thing in them are right just FYI.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @cptrogers1918

Bucky would like everyone to know that he resents the fact he’s a teenage sidekick. I won’t repeat some of the other things he’s saying.

Kathy || IA because life hates me @kathybabe In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Why is he not on Twitter right now??

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @kathybabe

I had to take his phone off him because he was being a baby.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

What???

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @cptrogers1918

You told me to keep him away from you.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

I knew it!! What are you planning and why can’t I know!?!

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

How’d you get your phone back?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

I’m the better spy I guess.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

You’re not even a spy!

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Yet I still found my phone.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

No lol, I asked Jarvis where you put it. Sorry about your safe, I’ll get you a new one.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

He punched my safe open??? Baby.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Steve’s not answeringgggggg me

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

HE BLOCKED ME

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

He’s forgiven he sent me a of pizza.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

He sent US a box of pizza. We’re sharing

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Get your own sugar daddy

_________________

Private Message Between James Barnes and Steve Rogers

Bucky changed Stevie’s name to Sugar Daddy

Sugar Daddy - Buck no

Bucky - now he speaks

Sugar Daddy - I’m busy

Bucky - and I’m codependent

Sugar Daddy - I love you

Sugar Daddy - just trust me

Sugar Daddy - and please change my name

Bucky - love you too, I do and no.

_________________

Viv @callmeviv

#AskSteve favourite insult to give to people?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @callmeviv

Come on now, you know that Cap doesn’t insult people ;)

Lulu Lulu @eyitislu

#AskSteve what makes you happy?

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @eyitislu

Man, don’t ask him that one.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @eyitislu

Don’t listen to Sam. My work makes me happy, the Avengers make him happy, the future’s good. Food now. Uh, Clint’s dog. A lot of things make me happy.

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff

Natasha - we’re on our way now. He thinks we’re getting more food FYI.

Steve - thanks, Nat. I owe you.

Natasha - hell yeah you do. He’s so pouty when you’re not here.

_________________

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918

My phone right now.

41641375_324224598352124_3643058012848914432_n

Queen Bee @almondmilk

#AskSteve does that bottom text say I LOVE YOU i’m about to pass out.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @almondmilk

I can neither confirm or deny.

Queen Bee @almondmilk In reply to @cptrogers1918

ThaT’S A YEs AhHhHhHhHhh

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and Tony Stark

Tony - everything’s ready

Tony - I’m happy for you guys

Steve - thanks Tony. It means a lot.

_________________

Neither Confirm or Deny @sunlightstucky

#AskSteve Perfect pizza?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sunlightstucky

I’m a sucker for a nice classic - just cheese and tomatoes.  

Caleb @fukingtired

#AskSteve Something you miss from before?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @fukingtired

Corny but the simple life. Not to sound like an old man but the future’s really intense and bright and phones are annoying. I’m aware I sound old right now. No need to call me out on it.

Tim @timothy789

#AskSteve something you’re happy about from the future? What have we done right?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @timothy789

Much more progression than I could have ever dreamed. That’s something I’m proud of. Still a lot to do but it’s a start.

Barnes and Noble @barnesxrogers

What are you doing right now? #AskSteve

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @barnesxrogers

Setting something up - you’ll see what soon.

_________________

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918

Hey, @sgtbarnes1918 you there?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Oh, am I unblocked?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Yeah, can I ask a question?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Of course.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Is #AskBucky still a thing?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Sure?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Great.

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff

Natasha - we’ve just arrived. I’m sending him in now.

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson

Sam - good luck, man. You don’t need it though.

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and Pepper Potts

Pepper - the two of you deserve all the happiness in the world.

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and Tony Stark

Tony - Have fun!

Tony - FYI I’m not paying. You’re rich enough and Bucky said you’re his sugar daddy not me so.

_________________

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918

#AskBucky

9-2171162-twb080114proposalcropped_t620

Chapter Text

The OG bird Avenger @arrowboi

Finally I can tweet my frustrations

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon

All they do is cuddle

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

They pout if they spend more than a minute apart.

Pepper @PepPotts

Months of worrying about their PR and they don’t even tell you when they announce to the world that they’re getting married.

Bruce Banner @Dr_banner

You’d never be able to guess just how cuddly and touchy they are - all the time.  

Wanda Maximoff @scarletxwitch

They’re annoying but at least they’re cute.

Rhodey @war_machine_rox

I have never met two people who love each other as much as they love each other.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

Cap was attracted to the Winter Soldier

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Really?

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @cptrogers1918

I told you that I would tweet it when you came out.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

If anyone thinks about being bigoted towards Steve or Bucky - well

Screen Shot 2018-09-13 at 10.01.32 PM

_________________

Emily @uhem

IM DEAD IM GONE IM OVER

Violet @violetTT

HOly hell I literally fell off my fucking chair what the fucccccckkkkkkkkkkkk

@dixiehellcat

Can the @avengers live tweet the wedding for us??

Shar @shamer

I really hope they’re into PDA

@EntrancedSnow70

I love how that’s a question

YunSpite @spite001

Fangirls are rising from the depths of hell chanting stucky over and over right now

Hope Elise @HElise

STUCKY STUCK STUCKY STUCKY

JAKE P @jake99

STUCKY STUCKY STUCKY

_________________

Transcript for Steve Rogers and James Barnes interview with CNN; Andrew Williams.

The screen is split into two screens. On the left is Andrew, sitting at his desk with an earpiece in his ear. On the right are Steve are Bucky, sitting pressed together and relaxed on a sofa, Steve’s arm around Bucky.

Andrew : Hello and welcome to CNN. I’m Andrew Williams and I’m lucky enough to be talking with Avengers Captain Steve Rogers and Sergeant James Bucky Barnes. Who have, again, broken Twitter with just one photo. But this time Twitter was done for nearly five hours versus the two last time. The photo in question, of course, is the ultimate question a person can ask. Steve on one knee in front of a sign that says ‘will you marry me’. It’s lovely to have you both here, especially during such a busy time.

Bucky : Great to be here.

Steve : Yeah.

Andrew : I guess congratulations are in order. Although we never did get a response?

Bucky : laughs . I said yes. He holds up his left hand, a gold band settled around a metal finger.

Andrew: Well, congratulations. When’s the wedding?

Bucky: Summer, New York. I’ve been planning this for a long time.

Andrew: Long time as in these last few months or were you planning your big day before the war?

Bucky: Since we were about twelve. This wasn’t even the first time Steve had asked to marry me. When we were young, maybe sixteen, he asked me. We were laying on his bed and out of the blue he says ‘when we can, marry me’. Not very romantic but I said yes anyway.

Andrew: And now you’re here.

Steve: So I had to ask again. We made it, you know. It was always our dream to get to a place where we could be free to get married and hold hands in public and all that. We talked about it for years. Ever since I can remember.

Andrew: It’s a fairy tale romance for sure. And you decided to come out, publicly, with your proposal. Why now?

Steve: I was getting real tired of not being able to hold Bucky in public. The picture was taken and I asked if we should upload it, Bucky said yes and I posted it. Haven’t regretted publishing it yet.

Bucky: I was sick of hiding, it’s been ninety years since I fell in love with Steve and only a handful of people knew because we had to hide it.

Andrew: Who knew?

Steve: I think my ma knew. She always gave me this look when I talked about Bucky.

Bucky: Becca knew when we were older. Always giggled when I told them we were going out. Liked to tease me that it was a date. And my parents probably knew as well, they caught Steve leaving out house at 5 am once and that kind of sealed the deal. A guy called John knew because we were kissing in an alley when were about fifteen and he saw us.

Steve: We had to threaten him not to tell anyone. Not our finest moment.

Andrew: Because it was so dangerous?

Bucky: Oh yeah, if people knew about Steve and I we wouldn’t be here. Someone would've jumped us and everyone else would look the other way. It happened more often than you’d think.

Steve: Peggy and the Commandos knew. Peggy was just to smart not to notice and then one by one the commandos figured it out. Walking in on, more compromising positions or gossiping between each other. We weren’t very good at being subtle during the war. Phillips probably knew as well because soldiers are gossips at heart.

Andrew: And they didn’t care?

Bucky: No. Phillips told me to watch out for ‘your idiot’ once. Peggy didn’t care at all and the commandos were cool with it.

Andrew: A lot of people are confused about what happened with Peggy, seeing as we grew up thinking that you had dated her during the war.

Steve: I was just as confused. When I woke up and found out that people thought I had been with her. She explained it to me, told me that they were going to discredit everything I did because they thought I was gay. Peggy and the howling commandos came up with the lie to keep my name intact. Peggy and I were always just friends.

Bucky: I mean, a lot of people wanted to be with Steve during the war, even some other soldiers. Can’t blame them though, look at him.

Steve: grinning . Buck.

Andrew: Did the Avengers know?

Bucky: They had to. When I arrived at the tower the first thing I did was pull Stevie into a kiss in front of all them.

Steve: All of them were pretty shocked. None of them knew beforehand.

Bucky: I think Sam and Nat figured it out though.

Andrew: Well, thank you so much for agreeing to speak to us and again, congratulations.

Steve: Thank you.

_________________

Mike @mikeOconnor

THEY CALLED US CRAZY AND HERE WE ARE

@riani1

Glee!

Gina Gina Gina @GG6

We knew

@TwistedRomance

OMG!!!!!! That was so sweet i can’t

Rachel @rachxpeach

And the other avengers roasting their relationship? HERE.

@lilmissdeadgirl

Yessssssss!!!! Love it

JJ @jjhigh

I legit started crying when I saw it.

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

I’m hyperventilating my life is COMPLETE NOW

@the17thmuse

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *happy screaming in the background*

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man - how’s engaged life treating you?

Captain Ass-Merica - it’s great

Captain America’s Bitch - we’re probs going to be even sappier now.

Falcon - BITCH you can’t get sappier

Captain America’s Bitch - try me

Falcon - shit

Captain America’s Bitch - 90 years of hidden love is about to come out full force. Just so we all know and are ready for it. Stevie and I have been holding back! No longer will we hide in shadows and suffer silently. We (the gays) have risen.

Falcon - what the fuck

_________________

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon

We (the gays) have risen - Bucky Barnes

_________________

Flower Power and all that Jazz @sunshineOhare

STUCKY STUCKY STUCK STUCKY STUCKY

@DrunkRevolutionaries

Oh shit I’m so happy!

Alex @Alex99

The prophecy has come true

Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers

I don’t know how to respond rn I need some time

@black_eyed_angel

Yesssss

Addy @addddddyy

HOLY HELL

@mamahub

Squeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! My heart!

StarBucks @hope4566

OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG

I still ship Stony @stonylover

I’m in physical pain rn

I am Will @will-i-am

HOLY SHIT H O L Y S H I T

I'll break him @stuckyfanOG

Omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg I’ve shipped those two since GRADE SCHOOL AND HERE I AM!! I love my dads

@animaniacs16

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Ditzy Daisy @DaisyDo

#stuckyforthewin

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Captain America’s Bitch - I want to talk to Alex Murphy.

Hawkeye - so we’re just ignoring that last message then?

Captain America’s Bitch - Yes

Iron Man - who’s Alex Murphy?

Pepper Potts - NO NO NO

Captain America’s Bitch - why!

GreatestSpy - he’s a super conservative youtuber. Already he has two videos out about how Steve and Bucky and gays, in general, are the devil and all that jazz. Why’d you want to go and talk to him?

Iron Man - oh him, the dick with a beard yeah I know him

Captain America’s Bitch - because he’s anti-gay and I’m hella gay

Pepper Potts - I will repeat myself NO

Pepper Potts - the PR is so bad right now can you go a day without messing it up?

Iron Man - I mean

Pepper Potts - Tony I swear to god

Hawkeye - I kinda want to see the winter soldier tearing him a new one. He deserves it.

GreatestSpy - he does

Wanda - I’m not choosing a side but he’s super anti-Jew as well so if Bucky did decide to go on I wouldn’t consider it a bad thing…

Falcon - he’s also hella racist

Rhodey - he said I shouldn’t be an Avenger because black people are more likely to be criminals once

Iron Man - asshole

Pepper Potts - I’m not saying yes because I am not getting yelled at by Margie again but I may go out to diner with Tony tonight and not realize that you’ve organized it all ready.

Captain America’s Bitch - great because I organized this hours ago.

Pepper Potts - Bucky!!!!

Pepper Potts - (tear him a new one from all of us)

Captain America’s Bitch - you’re the best!

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Catch me on Alex Murphy’s YouTube live show tonight at 5PM EDT.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

GreatestSpy - have fun tearing Murphy apart. Send him a hug from me.

Iron Man - didn’t he do an entire series on why you should be getting the death penalty?

GreatestSpy - Yes! And he wouldn’t let me on the show. I’m surprised he’s letting Bucky on.

Captain America’s Bitch - I may or may not have threatened that if he didn’t let me on I would just arrive and sit on that ugly sofa until he talked to me.

Captain America’s Bitch - also same, he wanted me to cast my last anchor and all that.

Iron Man - I’m going to assume that means be killed?

Captain America’s Bitch - obviously

Iron Man - obviously.

_________________

Alex Murphy @MurphyAlex

Join me tonight for special guest The Winter Soldier (James Barnes). 5PM EDT. Lots to talk about.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Pepper Potts - just don’t kill him.

Pepper Potts - physically. Fuck him up mentally

Pepper Potts - you will be arrested if you cause bodily harm or destruction of property and I will not get you out until after I’ve calmed down which will be awhile. And I doubt you want to get married in a prison cell.

Captain America’s Bitch - I would marry him anywhere

Captain Ass-Merica - I’d marry you anywhere as well babe

Iron Man - gross

Iron Man - this chat is cured I swear to GAWD

_________________

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

I love the Avengers group chat sometimes

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @blackwidow_baby

What happens on the chat stays on the chat.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Won’t tell, swear to GAWD

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man - bitch

_________________

The OG bird Avenger @arrowboi

Hi I hate Steveo and Bucko

The OG bird Avenger @arrowboi

I always assumed they wouldn’t be all touchy feely

The OG bird Avenger @arrowboi

Nope, they love PDA

The OG bird Avenger @arrowboi

It’s all they do

The OG bird Avenger @arrowboi

:(

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Captain America’s Bitch - you done bird brain?

Hawkeye - bird brain, real original

Hawkeye - I haven’t heard that one before

Captain America’s Bitch has removed Hawkeye from the chat

_________________

Transcript for James Barnes interview with Alex Murphy.

Alex sets behind a desk to the left of the screen while Bucky sits on the grey sofa, his metal hand tracing the pattern on the pillows. Alex looks tense and doesn’t take his eyes off Bucky. Bucky seems relaxed and is smiling lazily at Alex.

Alex : Thank you for coming.

Bucky : I didn’t give you a choice. Alex didn’t want me on the show but I really wanted to come and talk to you.

Alex : Yes, well I don’t like criminals on my show.

Bucky : You’re a criminal. Oh, does your audience not know? Alex here likes paying under the table, don’t you?

Alex very red in the face: At least I’m not a murderer.

Bucky : According to the courts, neither am I. Well I’m not here to discuss that. You’ve already covered everything you wanted to about me. Leaving out the torture and stuff but bygones and all that. I think we’re here to discuss my engagement to my Stevie he holds up his left hand, a band still sits on his ring finger. He grins.

Alex : Yes, yes we are. I’m surprised you’re here seeing as I don’t exactly, agree, with your lifestyle.

Bucky : Oh I know. Gays deserve to fry. Isn’t that what you said after Stevie and I came out?

Alex : That’s my view, yes.

Bucky : And I couldn’t care less. Funny that. Now first, I don’t care about what you say about me. You can call me any names or say I deserve this or that. I’ve had worse and I’ve probably already thought it. But, Steve’s different. He leans forward, the grin twisting into something much darker. Talk about Stevie the way you have again and you’ll have a bigger problem than demonetization on YouTube. Are we on the same page here?

Alex : You can’t come onto my show and threaten me.

Bucky : I don’t threaten people Alex, you should know that about me. You seem to know everything else about me.

Alex : I think it’s time you leave.

Bucky : No. You’re gonna promise to leave Steve’s lovely name out of your filthy beep mouth and then I’ll leave. What’d you say about that?

Alex : Beep you.

Bucky : But Alex, that’s gay!

The screen cuts to black as Bucky laughs and Alex gets even more red in the face.

_________________

@cosmokid

ASFJCJCKCKCKDKCKCJ MARRIAGE MARRIAGE MARRIAGE

@BarqueBatch

Screaming!!!!! Eeeesooooocuuuuuute!!!

Tate L @ghostboi

No way this is real. They were probably hacked or something like that.

@starbucks22

AAAAAHHHHH

JD @slushiesandguns

Oh was not expecting this when I woke up

Kitttttt @kitwalk

GAYVENGERS

Aher @ashash

They broke twitter again lol. Not surprising

@marvelouslysupernatural

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Lillian #codependentandstufflikethat @littlelilli

GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY

Addy @addddddyy

HOLY HELL

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Had a great time with Alex!

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Dear god, I love you so much.

Chapter Text

Avengers Assemble

Bruce Banner - stop leaving dirty dishes in the sink you animals

Iron Man - does it make you angry??????

Bruce Banner - it makes me grossed out

Bruce Banner -  so stop

Bruce Banner - also I hate you

Iron Man - ILY

Captain America’s Bitch - gather round children

Iron Man - we’re not children

Captain America’s Bitch - I could have fathered all of you bar Steve

Captain America’s Bitch - so shut the fuck up

Iron Man - damn

Iron Man - touchy much?

Captain America’s Bitch - gather round children

Captain America’s Bitch - I have a plan

Captain Ass-Merica - is it a good plan?

Captain America’s Bitch - it’s a plan

Captain America’s Bitch - we’re going to watch and live tweet the Captain America movies as a team bonding exercise. Now I can hear you whining and complaining like the children you are but I have something to say to that as well. Steve’s the leader of you odd lot so he’s going to tell you it’s mandatory. Next Saturday, 4 pm, common living room. I don’t care if you’re in a different country - you get here.

Captain America’s Bitch - I’ll be providing the alcohol. Don’t worry.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Saturday night - it’s gonna be lit.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man - lit?

Captain America’s Bitch - just ‘cause you’re an old man.

Iron Man - you’re older than my dad dude

Captain America’s Bitch - not physically.

Captain America’s Bitch - isn’t that right Stevie?

Falcon - dude

Hawkeye - gross

GreatestSpy - really?

Wanda - seriously Bucky?

Captain Ass-Merica - oh my lord

Captain America’s Bitch - Stevie back me up

Captain Ass-Merica - yeah. He’s young physically.

Captain America’s Bitch - and in terms of my stamina.

Falcon has removed Captain America’s Bitch from the chat

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Sam’s an ass

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Piss off

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

Who knew we had a twitter account?

The Avengers @avengers

OH!! We’ll be using this one Saturday.

The Avengers @avengers

But you won’t be able to tell who’s who which isn’t good

The Avengers @avengers

I know ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

Perfect. ~Bucky

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Captain Ass-Merica has added Captain America’s Bitch to the chat

Falcon - I removed him for a reason

Captain Ass-Merica - you don’t live with him

Captain Ass-Merica - he was whining

Captain America’s Bitch - did you all see the account of Twitter?

Captain America’s Bitch - everyone can log in to that for the live tweeting tonight. The password is Buckyisthebestavenger3

Captain America’s Bitch - also I don’t whine I persuade

Iron Man - sometimes I want to lock you in a hole

Captain America’s Bitch - been there done that. Log in and come to the living room.

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

It’s starting ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

We’re waiting for Tony and popcorn ~Steve

The Avengers @avengers

And I thought there would be alcohol ~Natasha

The Avengers @avengers

It’s coming too ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

I don’t want to be here ~Tony

The Avengers @avengers

Don’t care. Movies starting. Up first we have the 1951 film, Captain America and the fight for justice, freedom, and love. Long name and a terrible cover on the DVD, where am I ? ~Bucky.

The Avengers @avengers

I was small but I wasn’t that small ~Steve

The Avengers @avengers

Yes you were ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

Sarah Rogers was an amazing woman and this movie does her justice ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

Why is Steve glowing? ~Tony

The Avengers @avengers

Why is Peggy blonde? ~Wanda

The Avengers @avengers

So many questions ~Nat

The Avengers @avengers

That’s a huge gun to be carrying ~Clint

The Avengers @avengers

Bucky’s pouting as ‘Steve’ kisses ‘Peggy’ ~Sam

The Avengers @avengers

Why is she BLONDE ~Wanda

The Avengers @avengers

That’s your main concern? I’m more concerned about the fact that I’m in this movie for a few moments then I get shot? I fell off a train guys.

The Avengers @avengers

Oh, that was Bucky by the way ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

Who else fell off a train? ~Tony

The Avengers @avengers

Don’t sass me ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

Steve’s flying into the Arctic now. Very dramatic. ~Sam

The Avengers @avengers

I was crying as I flew into the ocean just so we all know ~Steve

The Avengers @avengers

Why wouldn’t I be? I was about to DIE ~Steve

The Avengers @avengers

“I loved him” -Peggy Carter apparently. Bitch (kidding) ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

Captain America and the fight for justice is over. It was okay. Some of the mission specs were strangely accurate but I didn’t get enough screen time and I was never shot (pre-Hydra and those asses). 7/10 ~Bucky.

_________________

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

So, what we’ve learned today is Bucky likes his face on things. He wants to be the star in the movie. It’s kind of cute but also really, really, annoying.

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

Onwards and upwards. 1964’s Captain America; the long road to hero. Apparently, this one is about Steve pre-war? Interesting and I’m excited. Cover art has me on it so I’m alright with it so far. ~Bucky.

The Avengers @avengers

Why is Steve so angry all the time?? ~Nat

The Avengers @avengers

Like a little chihuahua or something ~Sam

The Avengers @avengers

He threw a little stone at the bullies head and was surprised when it didn’t work? A genius everyone ~Tony

The Avengers @avengers

I was never this patriotic ~Steve

The Avengers @avengers

Steve didn’t choose the name guys ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

It’s a dumb name anyway. Falcon’s better ~Sam

The Avengers @avengers

Oh, I’m here. Kicking someone up the ass for messing with Steve? Accurate ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

Why is Bucky wearing a suit? ~Wanda

The Avengers @avengers

It’s not a suit it’s just what we wore ~Steve

The Avengers @avengers

So formal ~Nat

The Avengers @avengers

Uncomfortable too. You lot are lucky ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

WHO’S LISA?? ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

Bucky is very upset that he has a girlfriend ~Sam

The Avengers @avengers

Because I was already in a relationship with Steve ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

Just make me single, don’t make up some weirdo. ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

OMG NO Lisa was the name I gave to Steve when I was overseas. I couldn’t say I was with Steve so I said her name was Lisa I can’t believe people thought she was real ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

Is that why the commandos would call me Lisa?????? ~Steve

The Avengers @avengers

You should see them. They’re both cracking up with laughter and hugging each other. ~Nat

The Avengers @avengers

We had to pause the movie ~Sam

The Avengers @avengers

They’re done ~Wanda

The Avengers @avengers

And we’re watching the movie again. Sorry for the delay ~Steve

The Avengers @avengers

Why am I the one getting into fights before Steve? Steve always got hit then I had to come in after to help his punk ass. ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

I didn’t sign up to the army and get in straight away. I took me forever ~Steve

The Avengers @avengers

And Stevie’s beefy ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

“Lol my friend and the person who knew what had happened to me just got shot in front of me, but I’m big now so who cares?” -Steve, apparently. ~Nat

The Avengers @avengers

An interesting take on our lives before the war. 5/10 could be gayer ~Bucky

_________________

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

“Could be Gayer” - Our Bucky’s life motto

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

Next movie is the drama-filled 1974 Captain America the Last Stand. It promises heartbreak, drama, action, love and life. Don’t know what that means seeing as the main character ‘dies’ but we’re going to see what’s what. ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

I can’t tell if by main character he means Steve or himself? ~Nat

The Avengers @avengers

‘You’re allowed to have feelings Bucky’ ‘we’re laughing at your feelings now Bucky’ ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

That’s how humans work ~Sam

The Avengers @avengers

I’m going to stuff myself in a goddamn freezer and Steve’s coming with me

The Avengers @avengers

You’re so dramatic (and you forgot your name again) ~Nat

The Avengers @avengers

Did anyone know it wasn’t me? ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

And the movie is on ~Tony

The Avengers @avengers

UMMMM NO???? ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

I AM OLDER THAN STEVE WHAT IS THIS

The Avengers @avengers

WHY AM I A TEENAGER IN THIS I AM THE OLDEST

The Avengers @avengers

Bucky is upset ~Bruce

The Avengers @avengers

I need to talk to the filmmakers. Ask why they thought it would a good idea to make a kid?

The Avengers @avengers

I’m not even from Brooklyn!

The Avengers @avengers

Why is Bucky a teen but they’re still playing up the idea the Stucky aspects? ~Tony

The Avengers @avengers

Maybe they didn’t mean to? ~Steve

The Avengers @avengers

Making me uncomfortable anyway ~Nat

The Avengers @avengers

I AM NOT A GODDAMN TWINK

The Avengers @avengers

STEVE’S THE TWINK

The Avengers @avengers

No, I’m not ~Steve

The Avengers @avengers

This is the gayest one yet but I’m a child and that’s just terrible ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

Maybe it’s meant to be fatherly? ~Steve

The Avengers @avengers

I’ll call you Daddy ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

Bucky has been banned from posting for the rest of the movie. We’re sorry for the previous message ~Pepper

The Avengers @avengers

Peggy’s here, and she’s angry at Steve for no reason? ~Clint

The Avengers @avengers

You just meet him and decided to hate him? ~Sam

The Avengers @avengers

Peggy punching that dude just cured my depression guys ~Wanda

The Avengers @avengers

Gotta agree with Wanda there ~Nat

The Avengers @avengers

Lots of explosions ~Clint

The Avengers @avengers

There are a lot. We didn’t just blow up everything we came across because we could ~Steve

The Avengers @avengers

RED SKULLS MAKEUP IS THE WEIRDEST SHIT I’VE EVER SEEN ~Clint

The Avengers @avengers

It looks like someone poured a bucket of red paint onto the actors head ~Sam

The Avengers @avengers

Not what I wanted to see at all ~Clint

The Avengers @avengers

The final battle and Steve’s getting his ass handed to him. I feel for Cap’s actor, I don’t want to touch red skull either. ~Clint

The Avengers @avengers

Steve’s got the upper hand! Finally ~Nat

The Avengers @avengers

And now he’s nose-diving into the Arctic. Calling Peggy for the angst ~Wanda

The Avengers @avengers

“I’m coming Bucky” OMG how realistic is that???~Tony

The Avengers @avengers

Knowing that Bucky was already dead calmed me down a bit but I was still scared. Why are all the actors so calm and chill? I thought I was about to die. ~Steve

The Avengers @avengers

Bucky would like everyone to know that Steve’s last tweet made him very happy ~Sam

_________________

Wanda Maximoff @scarletxwitch

Excuse the delay. Steve and Bucky have gone to the kitchen and no one knows why.

Wanda Maximoff @scarletxwitch

Oh, they’re back with nothing. Clearly, they were making out like the children that they are.

Wanda Maximoff @scarletxwitch

One part cute one part gross

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

Okay! I’m back. The next movie is Captain America: The Jaws of Evil from 1985. The poster is Steve standing in front of an explosion so I am hopeful this is going to be a terrible 80’s action movie. ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

The opening scene is an explosion. This is good ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

So we’re bypassing how Steve became a superhuman and just going straight to the fighting and war? Cool. ~Nat

The Avengers @avengers

This is the definition of ‘no homo’ ~Clint

The Avengers @avengers

“Fuck you, Nazi MotherFucker” Steve Rogers ~Sam

The Avengers @avengers

I’m kind of sad no movie has touched on the tour that I did ~Steve

The Avengers @avengers

Star-spangled man with a plan ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

So many explosions I have no idea who’s blowing up what ~Sam

The Avengers @avengers

Steve’s carrying a machine gun on his back while hiking with no problem? That’s not how those work, trust me lol ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

You’ve carried a machine gun on your back while hiking? ~Tony

The Avengers @avengers

‘Course I have. ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

Sometimes I worry about you ~Tony

The Avengers @avengers

Dinner arrived!! ~Nat

The Avengers @avengers

I love me some pizza ~Tony

The Avengers @avengers

Fun fact: It takes about fifteen large pizzas to feed us all. ~Tony

The Avengers @avengers

Fun fact: It only takes about ten minutes for all the pizza to be gone ~Tony

The Avengers @avengers

The Avengers tower rule is ‘you snooze you lose’ ~Clint

The Avengers @avengers

Back to the movie ~Sam

The Avengers @avengers

They’re in a volcano? ~Bruce

The Avengers @avengers

I wouldn’t be surprised if a shark showed up at this point ~Wanda

The Avengers @avengers

HOLY SHIT A SHARK ~Wanda

The Avengers @avengers

Please punch the shark Steve ~Wanda

The Avengers @avengers

HE PUNCHED THE SHARK ~Wanda

The Avengers @avengers

That was a journey omg ~Wanda

The Avengers @avengers

10/10 movie. Completely false in all aspects but Steve standing in just his pants as a fucking mountain blows up behind him? A masterpiece of cinema. ~Bucky.

_________________

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

We’ve gone through a lot of vodka. A lot of vodka. So far, Nat, Bucky, and Steveo are the only ones not affected.

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

Sucks for THEM

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

The last movie on our list (we’re not watching any of the porn versions thank you to the hundreds of people who suggested it) is the 2001 film Captain America: The man behind the hero. Apparently, this is the most dramatic and angsty. Let’s gooooo ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

Bucky and I didn’t have other friends before the war ~Steve

The Avengers @avengers

That’s so sad ~Tony

The Avengers @avengers

Yes, guys, we did live together. From 1936 to present day ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

We even shared a bed ~Steve

The Avengers @avengers

He’s so dramatic. Monologuing about boring stuff into the distance. Real Bucky would have left by now, or start throwing shit at him so he would stop. Keep this in mind everyone: Steve isn’t this dramatic all the time, only when needed (but he dials it to 11 doesn’t he?). ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

Man this actor can monologue like no one else ~Clint

The Avengers @avengers

To much talking, not enough punching ~Sam

The Avengers @avengers

That pull back from the stucky hug was so akwarrddddd ~Nat

The Avengers @avengers

#nohomo right? ~Wanda

The Avengers @avengers

And he’s buff. Really buff. You didn’t need to CGI the buffiness guys. ~Clint

The Avengers @avengers

I’m not that big everyone ~Steve

The Avengers @avengers

I feel bad ~Clint

The Avengers @avengers

Same ~Sam

The Avengers @avengers

I didn’t get an injection to make me look the way I do ~Clint

The Avengers @avengers

WE had to work for it ~Sam

The Avengers @avengers

I’d kill for it tho ~Clint

The Avengers @avengers

Same ~Sam

The Avengers @avengers

This is the sound effect on screen right now ‘eeeeeeeeeeee’

The Avengers @avengers

Explosions and covering up the gays ~Clint

The Avengers @avengers

Nice ~Clint

The Avengers @avengers

Ass ~Clint

The Avengers @avengers

Steve ~Cling

The Avengers @avengers

Clint’s been banned from the vodka from now until tomorrow ~Pepper

The Avengers @avengers

HA ~Clint

The Avengers @avengers

Clint has been banned from all alcohol from now until tomorrow ~Pepper

The Avengers @avengers

Damn ~Clint

The Avengers @avengers

Sometimes I think about divorce ~Nat

The Avengers @avengers

You’re MARRIED ~Tony

The Avengers @avengers

Had to once for undercover shit. Never got divorced. ~Nat

The Avengers @avengers

WHAT!! ~Everyone

The Avengers @avengers

The movie’s been paused as we deal with this ~Steve.

The Avengers @avengers

We’re back. And Nat’s married to Bird Boi. Movie time ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

Another monologue about justice. I’m not this obsessed ~Steve

The Avengers @avengers

That one did sound like him though ~Sam

The Avengers @avengers

I wasn't monologuing as I crashed a plane Sam ~Steve

The Avengers @avengers

Why did I get like three lines in this? I speak you know? ~Bucky

The Avengers @avengers

I’m going to write, direct and star in my own Cap movie. It’ll be accurate and gay. ~Bucky

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Thanks for joining us tonight! Clint’s gonna have a mean hangover tomorrow and I’ve started writing my own movie because I was very disappointed. It will be called Steve Rogers and James Barnes. I will be the main character

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

We’ll be starring in it as well ;)

Chapter Text

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Steve’s on another mission and I’m boreeeeeeed

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Can all you villains not do stuff. We were supposed to be going on a date

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Hydra ruined my life AND my date

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

#fuckoffnazis

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Oh Steve’s back nevermind.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

GreatestSpy - you’re such a baby

Captain America’s Bitch -

Sc2ncDU

GreatestSpy - What the actual fuck

Captain America’s Bitch -

41345951_2031046770291288_4531285770640117484_n

GreatestSpy - Jesus Christ

Hawkeye - somethings wrong with that man I swear to god

GreatestSpy - Seconded

Iron Man - I don’t even know what that means

Captain Ass-Merica - clearly it’s funny because Bucky’s laughing quietly to himself in the corner and keeps looking up at me to see if I’m laughing. I don’t understand

Wanda - I know what this means

Wanda - do none of you keep up to date with the latest memes?

Hawkeye - No

Wanda - Go onto Stan Twitter and learn something

GreatestSpy - Just because you know a meme doesn’t mean you should use it.

Captain America’s Bitch - None of you are any fun.

_________________

Stucky News @stuckynews

Steve and Bucky spotted at a restaurant in New York.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man - Pepper and I are leaving Saturday so we were thinking team dinner, Friday?

Hawkeye - sounds fun

Hawkeye - and that was sarcasm

Hawkeye - because Steve and Bucky are the worst people I’ve ever meet in my life and I don’t want to spend more than a minute with them.

Captain America’s Bitch - jokes on you.

Hawkeye - ????

Captain America’s Bitch - I have made a life-changing decision just now

Captain America’s Bitch - that affects you all.

GreatestSpy - ??

Captain Ass-Merica - It’s a very good choice

Falcon - you’re biased

Captain Ass-Merica - probably

Hawkeye - What’s the decision?

Iron Man - I know more than yooooooou @clint

Captain America’s Bitch - Steve and I are free Friday FYI

Captain America’s Bitch - follow me at @sgtbarnes1917 for live updates

Hawkeye - Man fuck you.

_________________

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

Bucky can be such a piece of work sometimes.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I know have more followers than any other Avenger. You would be right to assume everyone else is annoyed.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Captain America’s Bitch changed his name to Most Popular Avenger (and I’m not even an Avenger)

Most Popular Avenger (and I’m not even an Avenger) - Nice

Iron Man - No

Iron Man changed Most Popular Avenger (and I’m not even an Avenger) name to Cap’s Boy Toy

Cap’s Boy Toy changed Captain Ass-Merica to Bucky’s Sugar Daddy

Cap’s Boy Toy - fine.

Iron Man - No

Iron Man changed Cap’s Boy Toy to Bucky

Iron Man changed Bucky’s Sugar Daddy to Cap

Bucky - No way

Bucky changed his name to Captain America’s Bitch

Bucky changed Cap name to Captain Ass-Merica

Captain Ass-Merica - really bucky

Captain America’s Bitch - I’m expressing myself

Captain Ass-Merica - Fine

Falcon - Man you’re so whipped

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I have made a very important decision today. It’s going to piss off a lot of people (which makes me laugh) but I hope the majority of you are happy with what’s happening.

Kitttttt @kitwalk In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Does it involve Steve?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @kitwalk

All my decisions involve Steve in someway or another

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

What a Man

9faab3896138f11d46398e8214bc13f3

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

How’d you get that pic??

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Security cameras from the SHIELD building.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

How’d you get into the security cameras?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

SHIELD = Hydra and I have a very high Hydra clearance. Technically I have more access than Steve. I only use it to watch Steve, don’t worry.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I feel like that’s something to worry about in itself. We live together, just look at me.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

That’s no fun

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Pepper Potts - one day I’m going to kill you Bucky

Captain America’s Bitch  - oh, why?

Pepper Potts - because of your little stunts. People don’t need to be reminded of Hydra, thank you.

Captain America’s Bitch  - They do. So it never happens again

Captain America’s Bitch - and, more importantly, the world needs to see Steve looking like that. It’s not fair otherwise.

Falcon - that’s such a lie. You’re the most possessive person I know

Captain America’s Bitch - ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Falcon - Jesus Christ

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

In a meeting with Tony now.

_________________

PepperPotts@stark.co

To: PR@stark.co

Bucky Barnes’s Twitter

I apologize, again, on behalf of Bucky for that. I’ll talk to him about what he’s allowed to say online, again.

PR@stark.co

To PepperPotts@stark.co

RE: Bucky Barnes’s Twitter

Can we implement a rule where everything he tweets you or I have to approve?

PepperPotts@stark.co

To: PR@stark.co

RE RE: Bucky Barnes’s Twitter

You try saying no to that pouting face. It’s ridiculous.

_________________

Transcript Interview with Tony Stark and Pamela Johnson

Tony sits on a sofa while Pamela sits on an armchair to his left. People are cheering and yelling because Tony just walked in. Pamela calms them down, trying to start asking Tony questions as people continue to yell. Tony tries to help her, pushing his hands down through the air in a downwards motion. The crowd goes quieter, Pamela smiles at them and then at Tony.

Tony I think they’re happy to see me.

Pamela I think so. And I’m not surprised. You’re Iron Man, after all.

Tony True, but lately Steve and Bucky have been getting all the attention. The rest of us are left pouting in the shadows. Kidding, we’re all very happy right now. Not as many world wide disasters, which is good because it means less work for us, and Steve and Bucky’s happiness is infectious.

Pamela Well, Steve, and Bucky have just undone what everyone has been taught since they were five years old. And not subtly either, they came straight out with a marriage proposal. I have to ask, did you know about it before Bucky?

Tony We all did. Steve had to call in some favours, plus he was so giddy it was easy to guess. He had me help him set up the lights, heaven knows that man is good at everything he does expect with technology. Natasha kept Bucky away and Sam provided a lot of moral support.

Pamela Was Steve nervous?

Tony I have seen that man jump out of planes with ease, get shot and not even wince or get covered in weird alien goo without a question. But asking his lifelong boyfriend to marry him? He nearly bailed like five times, terrified that Bucky would say no. It was cute but also kind of dumb. Everyone knows those two are in it for life.

Pamela I know I was shocked when the news came out. It’s sweet to think he was nervous, just like the rest of us.
Tony Look, if your relationship can survive 20 years of hiding, a war, seventy years of freezing and one of you becoming a brainwashed assassin that tries to kill the other, it’s a good relationship.

Pamela That’s a very nice way of putting it. Let’s talk about you though.

Tony That’s what I’m good at.

Pamela Are wedding bells ringing for you and Pepper Potts?

Tony In my head? Yes. In her’s? No. No, kidding, yes but not for a while. We’ll let Steve and Bucky go first.

Pamela The teams all pairing off then?
Tony I think Sam and Rhodey are now together, at least they act like it when we’re alone, so yeah. Guess so, slowly but surely.

Pamela Aren’t you jealous? We all know you and Rhodey are close friends.

Tony If I was gay I’d marry Rhodey in a heartbeat. No, actually, if I didn’t love Peper I’d marry Rhodey in a heartbeat.

Pamela Do you know if you have a ship name? Like Stucky for Steve and Bucky.

Tony Pep and I are Pepperony, which I love. Rhodey and I have a few but I think Iron Bros or Iron Husbands are the popular ones. Both of which are acceptable. Rhodey’s gonna kill me for this he laughs .

Pamela Ever see the fanfiction?

Tony Bucky sends links

Pamela Of?

Tony What he's reading. Usually Stucky, but sent us one about the entire team once and us just living in the tower in 2012. The story was surprisingly accurate. He also sends fanart to the group chat sometimes. We’ve kicked him out over that a few times.

Pamela Yes, the famous group chat. The fact that you had one trended for nearly three days. People were really happy that you have one. Is it still a thing?

Tony My phone’s been buzzing this entire time. Either I did something to piss of Pep or the chat’s active. Do you want to see what they’re saying? The crowd cheers. Tony gets out his phone. Okay, Clint asked if people wanted pizza for dinner. Bucky said he wanted Chinese and they started fighting over which is better. Steve chimed in with pizza so Bucky kicked him out of the chat. Natasha suggested burgers and added Steve back, who sent a picture of Bucky kissing his cheek. Those boys don’t understand that we don’t want to see that but anyway. Bucky agreed on pizza and Nat’s also relented. Clint sent a stupid gif of dancing pizza and now Pepper’s telling me to get back to the interview. That’s pretty standard for what happens on there. It’s either stupid like this or classified information that’s crucial to missions.

Pamela Are you happy with pizza?

Tony Hell yeah. It’s a tower favourite.

Pamela So, Bucky has clearance of classified information as well? He’s not an Avenger.

Tony Anything we say to Steve gets said to Bucky at some point, I think they can read each other’s minds. And he, as he said, does actually have a high SHIELD clearance because of Hydra.

Pamela Higher than you or Steve apparently

Tony Yeah, highest on the team actually.

Pamela And he only looks at Steve on the security cameras?

Tony Don’t we all?

Pamela Very true. Join us after the break, where we’ll discuss Tony Stark’s latest suit and what it means to wear one.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Falcon - so

Falcon - can we know what the announcement is yet?

Falcon - Bucky

Captain America’s Bitch - No

Falcon - Bitch

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

You know what, I think I’d make a good Captain America @steve

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Maybe you should start with being an Avenger first

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Maybe

_________________

Private Message Between James Barnes and Natasha Romanoff

Natasha - OH

Bucky - got it?

Natasha - yeah

Natasha - I’m surprised

Bucky - couldn’t let Steve have all the fun

Bucky - Could I?

Natasha - they’re gonna kill you

Bucky - they can try

Bucky - lol

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff

Steve - you figured it out?

Natasha - yeah

Steve - don’t tell

Natasha - secrets are my forte

Natasha - are you happy with what he’s decided?  

Steve - yeah, of course.

Natasha - Don’t wait too long to come out (lol) we’re all good at finding stuff out

Steve - nice gay pun

Natasha - I try

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I’m thinking

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

That’s new

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

That hurt man

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

It’s the truth.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Do you all see what I have to live with??

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I was here first

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

How???

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Was an Avenger before you

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

I’ve been fighting next to Steve since 1922.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

He blocked me

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Cause I was right

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon

It’s not because he’s right.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Captain America’s Bitch - I need a new uniform

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

GUESS WHAT GUYS

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I’m now, officially, an Avenger. Cool, right!

Chapter Text

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 

I think I should put a star on my chest like Steve. Matching on the battlefield AND on Twitter!

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I think not

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

What’s with people shooting down my ideas?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Your ideas aren’t good

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Bitch

_________________

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

I have to live with Bucky and Steve and now I have to WORK WITH THEM AS WELL

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @arrowboi

I know, Clint. I know.

_________________

PR@stark.co

To PepperPotts@stark.co

Bucky’s Tweet - Avenger

Did you know? ~Margie

PepperPotts@stark.co

To: PR@stark.co

RE: Bucky’s Tweet - Avenger

I knew that he was becoming an Avenger, yes. I didn’t know that he was going to tweet it to the world. Promise.

PR@stark.co

To PepperPotts@stark.co

RE RE: Bucky’s Tweet - Avenger

I might strangle him if I ever meet him. ~Margie

PepperPotts@stark.co

To: PR@stark.co

RE RE: Bucky’s Tweet - Avenger

I’ll help you.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I don’t know why everyone is complaining, if I’m an Avenger it means less work for them! I have great stamina in the field. Super soldier, remember?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

That’s not the only place he has good stamina

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Pepper Potts - STEVEN

Captain America’s Bitch changed Pepper Potts name to Mother Hen

Mother Hen - I’m going to throttle you.

GreatestSpy - better run

Captain Ass-Merica - yeah but which one is she talking about?

Mother Hen - both of you

Captain America’s Bitch - I think Tony should take you on a holiday

Iron Man - don’t bring me into this

Iron Man - you’re on your own buddy

Captain America’s Bitch - weak

Iron Man - smart

Mother Hen - Delete the tweet, Steven

Captain Ass-Merica - :(

_________________

Lillian #codependentandstufflikethat @littlelilli

He deleted the tweet!

Addy @addddddyy In reply to @littlelilli

Don’t worry I’ve got screenshots

_________________

Stucky News @stuckynews

Sometimes I just want to curl up and die ~Misty

Pumpkin Spice Boi @friskymisky In reply to @stuckynews

Thought this was supposed to be a news account. Jesus Christ.

Stucky News @stuckynews In reply to @friskymisky

BITCH HAVE YOU SEEN THE TWEETS ~Misty

_________________

Pepper Potts Love Bot @lexa73

I bet Pepper told him to take it down

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @lexa73

You’d be right. Her new name on the GC is Mother Hen

Pepper Potts Love Bot @lexa73

UGH I love

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man - Avengers Assemble

Captain Ass-Merica - my line

Iron Man - We gotta go. Meet at the jet in ten, we’re going to Peru.

Hawkeye - Peru?????

Iron Man - They (the government) called asking for help. Evil guy who wants to make a whole lot of evil robots. The usual.

Captain America’s Bitch - ohhhh first mission

Captain America’s Bitch - And Peru is lovely this time of year

Falcon - you’ve been to Peru?

Captain America’s Bitch - 1969

Falcon - you remember it?

Captain America’s Bitch - I remember everything now

Captain Ass-Merica - You told me that you didn’t remember I asked you to do the dishes yesterday.

Captain America’s Bitch - well

Captain America’s Bitch - you see

Captain America’s Bitch - that’s different?

Captain Ass-Merica - you’re on dishes duty for the next week

Hawkeye - daddy Steve being daddy

Captain Ass-Merica has removed Hawkeye from the chat

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

All it takes to go undercover is a hat and a jumper

fca1a032760cf12d866bd394ba15d66a

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I was never very good at the whole undercover thing. I was more of a lay on a roof for twelve hours and wait kinda guy.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

It’s boring but easy and more fun (I like people watching)

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Not so fun when your handlers are kicking you ‘cause they’re bored as well and don’t like people watching

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Fuck nazis am I right???

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Aren’t you supposed to be working? First mission and you’re already screwing up. SMH

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

I haven’t screwed up.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

You posted a picture of yourself. That’s a basic no-no for Spying

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

You should create a youtube channel about how to be a spy

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

And tell the world my secrets? No thanks.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Aren't you supposed to be working?

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Multitasking

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Shit gotta go, he’s trying to shoot me.

_________________

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon

How’d Bucky survive for so long?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

Pure talent.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Oh, thought you were dead.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

Hell no. When I die I’m gonna live stream it, and I wasn’t live streaming.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Something is really wrong with you

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

Couldn’t agree more.

_________________

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Why’d all the @avengers become superheroes?? That’s what I want to know.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowho-Iam In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Aesthetic

OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Attention

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

They asked me to

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

To prove to the world that I’m awesome

Rhodey @war_machine_rox In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Control Tony

Wanda Maximoff @scarletxwitch In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Anger

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

My sense of patriotic duty

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Spite

Bruce Banner @dr_banner In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Because everyone else is dumb

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man - WOW

Iron Man - Brucie coming in with the kill shots

Captain Ass-Merica - I gasped

Captain Ass-Merica - I had no idea Bruce was that savage

Captain America’s Bitch - lol

GreatestSpy - you’ve clearly never played scrabble with Bruce. He becomes evil.

Captain America’s Bitch - What I’m hearing rn is we should play more games as a team.

GreatestSpy - That’s not what I said

Captain America’s Bitch - I think it was.

_________________

Wanda Maximoff @scarletxwitch

Steve and Bucky BROKE their BED omfg

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowho-Iam In reply to @scarletxwitch

There’s also a hole in their roof.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @scarletxwitch and @youknowho-Iam

Yes, we did do that, but not in the way you think.

I'll break him @stuckyfanOG In reply to @cptrogers1918

What happened??????

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @stuckyfanOG

We had a competition to see who could jump highest.

Bruce Banner @dr_banner In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Are you serious?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @dr_banner

Yeah. Not our best moment.

Gina Gina Gina @GG6 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Okay, but who won?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @GG6

Bucky did.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Of course I did.

_________________

PR@stark.co

To PepperPotts@stark.co

:(

Everyday I think about quitting ~Margie

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Mother Hen - i think i’m going to ban wifi in the tower

Iron Man - what!!? WHY!?

Mother Hen - blame Steve and Bucky

Captain America’s Bitch - don’t blame me. I’m innocent.

Mother Hen - don’t start with that

Mother Hen - you’re evil

Captain Ass-Merica - we’ll tone it down, for the sake of the tower

Mother Hen - you better.

Rhodey - if it makes you feel better, everyone at the base gets a good laugh out of them.

Mother Hen - amazingly, that doesn’t make me feel better.

Rhodey - We’ve got bets going what they’re going to say next.

Captain America’s Bitch - what’d you put down?

Rhodey - I’m not saying.

Captain America’s Bitch - :(((((

GreatestSpy - he’s pouting

Iron Man - of course he is

Captain America’s Bitch - :((((((((((((((

_________________

PepperPotts@stark.co

To: PR@stark.co

RE: :(

So do I, Margie. So do I.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I love this one (1) man

steve-rogers-when-hes-not-captain-america_5jvs.640

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Rhodey - I won the bet

Rhodey - Anything to do with Steve and I win.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

We love one (1) traitor

Rhodey_Civil_War

_________________

Rhodey @war_machine_rox

We need to work with Bucky on taking people's photo without permission or knowledge. 

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Mother Hen - We have an interview with Ted Bee tomorrow at eleven am in the common living room. Attendance is mandatory.

Mother Hen - and yes, food will be provided.

_________________

I'll break him @stuckyfanOG

New photos NEW PHOTOS NEW PHOTOS NEW PHOTOS

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @stuckyfanOG

WHAT??

I'll break him @stuckyfanOG In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Steve and Bucky went to Starbucks together and people took photos  

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to Exams :( @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @stuckyfanOG

I wanna know what they ordereddddd

Molly @mollymo In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Hey, I was their server. Steve got a black coffee and Bucky got a salted caramel mocha frappuccino with extra cream and a vanilla shot. Also, they didn’t take their hands off each other the entire time #stucky

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to Exams :( @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @mollymo

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG OMG THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

I'll break him @stuckyfanOG In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

It was so comPLICATED

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to Exams :( @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @stuckyfanOG

IT WAS my heart is soft

I'll break him @stuckyfanOG In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

I’m at Starbucks now, I’m getting the same thing

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @stuckyfanOG

No offence but you guys are weird (ps the drink was really nice and Steve can go screw himself with his judgement over coffee)

_________________

Avengers Assemble

GreatestSpy - should we add Clint back into this chat?

Mother Hen - shit

Mother Hen - yes

GreatestSpy added Hawkeye to the chat

Hawkeye - YOU KICKED ME OUT FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK

Captain Ass-Merica - I’m not sorry

Hawkeye - I don’t even remember what I did

Iron Man - you called Steve daddy you weirdo

Hawkeye - oh yeah

Hawkeye - ha

Captain Ass-Merica - continue and I will kick you out again

Hawkeye removed Captain Ass-Merica from the chat

Hawkeye - ha. Remove me now bitch

Captain America’s Bitch removed Hawkeye from the chat

Captain America’s Bitc h - HA

_________________

John Thompson @johnthompson

My latest video: the problem with Stucky is now up!

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @johnthompson

Dude.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Mother Hen - why do you have to respond to them?

Captain America’s Bitch - because they’re dicks

Mother Hen - I know that. You don’t have to respond to them though

Captain America’s Bitch - sorry.

Captain America’s Bitch - seriously. I am sorry about how much this annoys you and makes your life hard but I’ve been hearing this shit since I was a kid and I’m kind of over it.

Mother Hen - maybe I’ll just block Margie

Iron Man - I’m taking you away tomorrow afternoon. We can forget all about super soldiers.

Falcon - man I want to forgot about super soldiers while I relax on a beach

Captain America’s Bitch - rude

Iron Man - no one else is invented

Mother Hen - I could go for a few days off

Iron Man - good. You deserve it

Captain America’s Bitch - I want a holiday

Captain America’s Bitch - take me as well

Iron Man removed Captain America’s Bitch from the chat

Falcon - AND ME

Iron Man removed Falcon from the chat

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

The Avengers group chat is rapidly losing members

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Wanda added Hawkeye to the chat

Wanda added Falcon to the chat

Wanda added Captain Ass-Merica to the chat

Wanda added Captain America’s Bitch to the chat

Iron Man - why?

Wanda - they were pouting at me

GreatestSpy - we need to teach you how to be immune to pouting faces

Hawkeye - thanks Wanda

Iron Man - whyyyyy

Wanda - I told you why

Iron Man - that was of a general ‘why’ about them all as people. Ya know?

Captain America’s Bitch - you’re breaking my heart

Iron Man - don’t make me remove you.

Iron Man - again.

Chapter Text

Avengers Assemble

Mother Hen - interview in a few hours with Ted Bee. Remember, he’s a political editor so he’ll be talking about more serious topics with you guys.

Wanda - I can’t come. Rhodey’s taking me to his base

Iron Man - why?

Wanda - I have a paper for physics due and he says he has a friend that can help me with it.

Wanda - sorry

Mother Hen - It’s fine.

Captain Ass-Merica - Bucky won’t be able to come either

Mother Hen - Why?

Captain Ass-Merica - he stopped sleeping again and I’ve finally gotten him to go to bed.

Captain America’s Bitch - I can’t sleep if you’re typing RIGHT beside my head

Captain America’s Bitch - he left lol

Iron Man - And Sam’s in DC

Iron Man - so it’s just the OG Avengers

Mother Hen - That’ll do.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

WE WILL NEVER SLEEP ‘CAUSE SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Go to sleep Bucky

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

:(

_________________

OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

Something is wrong with Bucky. Wonder what it is?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @arrowboi

Right now or in general? Because right now it’s sleep deprivation and in general you modern lot don’t get my humour.

OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Go to sleep and no one gets your humour because it’s dumb.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @arrowboi

Steve does.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

That’s true.

OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

UGH

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man - Thor just arrived?????

Iron Man - on my roof

Captain Ass-Merica - really?

Hawkeye - huh didn’t know he was coming

Iron Man - neither did I

Captain Ass-Merica - he hasn’t been here in a while

GreatestSpy - is he doing the interview with us?

Iron Man - don’t see why not

Bruce Banner - cool

Bruce Banner - I like Thor

_________________

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918

Bucky can be such a child.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

I’m not a child!

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Go and take your nap

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Throwback to when I had two Human Arms

Screen Shot 2018-10-01 at 6.23.32 PM

Lucky Lucy @lucylo123 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Did you just loOK UP A PHOTO FROM ONE OF YOUR OLD PHOTOSHOOTS?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @lucylo123

Yup. If I had to suffer through those shoots I should be allowed to use the photos

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Bucky, go to sleep

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Sometimes I miss my twink but then I see this and I don’t really mind anymore

chris-evans

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man - What the hell Bucky

Captain America’s Bitch - It’s gotten 6 million likes.

Captain America’s Bitch - I’m famous

Captain America’s Bitch changed his name to The Popular Avenger

Iron Man changed The Popular Avenger name to Bucky

Bucky changed his name to The Popular Avenger

Iron Man changed The Popular Avenger name to Bucky

Bucky - :(

Bucky changed his name to The Popular Avenger

Captain Ass-Merica changed Bucky name to Captain America’s Bitch

Hawkeye - guys

Captain America’s Bitch - Tony’s fault

Falcon - let’s ignore that and talk about that dumbass tweet

Falcon - and I had to see it

Falcon - I think I’m going to unfollow Bucky guys

Hawkeye - with you

Captain America’s Bitch - aren’t you supposed to be in an interview. One that Steve uninvited me from.

Hawkeye - it starts in five

Captain Ass-Merica - you were un-invented because you need to sleep.

Hawkeye - and because you’re annoying

Iron Man - can we talk about what we’re allowed to Tweet again @pepper

Mother Hen - I think we should

Captain America’s Bitch - I didn’t tweet anything bad

Captain Ass-Merica - I wasn’t yours

Mother Hen - yes you did

Captain America’s Bitch - whatever. You were totally me little punk ;)

Captain America’s Bitch - my*

Captain America’s Bitch - I’m not a pirate.

Iron Man - why did that warrant a winky face.

Captain Ass-Merica - piss off

Hawkeye - Pirate?

GreatestSpy - what does that mean Bucky

Captain Ass-Merica - something dumb

Captain Ass-Merica - from the 30’s.

Falcon - ewwww

Falcon - I think

Falcon - I looked it up

Iron Man - what is it?

Captain America’s Bitch - It basically means twink

Captain Ass-Merica - No!

Captain Ass-Merica - wait

Captain Ass-Merica - Well yeah it does but

Captain Ass-Merica - I’m not the twink in this relationship.

Captain America’s Bitch - it meant the younger man in a gay relationship

Captain America’s Bitch - and you are the twink.

Captain Ass-Merica - No

Captain America’s Bitch - Yes

Captain Ass-Merica - No

Captain America’s Bitch - Yes

Captain Ass-Merica - No

Captain America’s Bitch - Yes

Captain America’s Bitch removed Captain Ass-Merica from the chat

Captain America’s Bitch - Yes

_________________

Transcript for Ted Bee’s Interview of Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, Bruce Banner and Thor.

Ted Bee sits facing all the Avengers present who are talking (inaudible) and smiling with each other.

Screen Shot 2018-10-01 at 6.26.55 PM

Ted Bee : Hello and welcome to News on 6’s interview with the Avengers. Here with us, we have the original Avengers who we all remember saving New York back in 2012. Thank you so much for agreeing to sit down with me today.

Tony Stark : You’re very welcome. We’re all excited as well, we haven't had a group interview in a long time.

Ted Bee : Well, it did take Mrs Potts and I almost five months to organise a day where everyone was together. And since then a whole lot has happened, your group mission in China was worldwide news, as was the mission in Peru. And of course the engagement, and relationship announcement. It’s clearly been a very busy few months for you all. So thank you for fitting me in.

Steve Rogers : It has been a busy time for us as a team. This last year, in general, has been packed full of things happening to everyone. We’ve added to the team, we’ve been going on more missions than ever and the stakes are higher than before.

Natasha Romanoff : And you got engaged

Steve Rogers : And I got engaged.

Clint Barton : Plus we all live together now, which can be a good thing and a very, very bad thing. Depends on the day.

Natasha Romanoff : And who’s in the tower on that day.

Bruce Banner : Yeah, it’s a lot quieter when Tony’s not there.

Tony Stark : Oh my god, Bruce. Rude.

Clint Barton : When Bucky’s not there it’s a lot more peaceful if I’m being honest.

Ted Bee : Oh, why’s that? Is he the loudest or something?

Tony Stark : No that man's the quietest person I know. It’s kind of terrifying sometimes. He just appears right in front of you. But he can be, what’s the right word? Up himself? Nah, it’s more like that he likes teasing and stuff.

Steve Rogers : He’s always been like that.

Clint Barton : I feel for you.

Steve Rogers : I got used to it in 1924.

Ted Bee : Is he going to see this interview?

Steve Rogers : Definitely.

Ted Bee : And will he mind the smack-talk?

Tony Stark : He gives as got as he gets.

Steve Rogers : That’s true.

Ted Bee : You, Steve, get it like everyone else then?

Steve Rogers : And then some.

Ted Bee : Life definitely seems full of adventure for you all.

Natasha Romanoff : Less so than before actually. I’ve found myself liking not having to hide constantly.

Clint Barton : But the fans…

Natasha Romanoff : Oh the fans.

Steve Rogers : They can be -

Tony Stark : A lot.

Ted Bee : Thor, do you have any fans? Any experiences with crazed fans?

Thor : People have asked for photos or for me to write my name, an autograph is what I believe it’s called.

Natasha Romanoff : I’ve gotten a lot of proposals.

Steve Rogers : So have I.

Thor : A lot of children come to me. They’re sweet.

Tony Stark : The children can be great. I had one kid come and ask if I can fly or if my suit lets me fly.

Steve Rogers : I’ve had high schoolers asking for help on history assignments.

Bruce Banner : I have kids asking for help on their science projects as well.

Clint Barton : I’ve had a few really nice kids come up to me.

Ted Bee : What happened?

Clint Barton : Little girl was deaf and told me I was her hero.

Natasha Romanoff : He basically melted.

Tony Stark : You were no better that time the little ballerina came up to us and said she was going to be a spy, just like you.

Natasha Romanoff : No comment.

Ted Bee : Any other strange encounters with adults?

Bruce Banner : Not really. I mainly get ignored in public, luckily.

Tony Stark : Ladies throwing their clothes at me.

Thor : Some people have bowed or kneeled before me. That was strange, to say the least.

Steve Rogers : People saluting me, constantly.

Natasha Romanoff : Whenever that happens he just stands there with a pained smile.

Steve Rogers : I don’t like it.

Ted Bee : What do you like?

Natasha Romanoff : When people don’t come up to me. Kidding.

Tony Stark : Just so long as they’re not crazy.

Steve Rogers : Respectful.

Clint Barton : It’s always nice when they treat us like people.

Ted Bee : And do you like it when people bow or kneel?

Thor : No. I don’t.

Tony Stark : Laughing I don’t mind.

Ted Bee : Join us after the break to discuss the politics of running a team like the Avengers.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Mother Hen - thank you! An entire interview and nothing too bad.

Iron Man - because it was boring after that first little bit

Captain Ass-Merica - not much you can say wrong when you’re talking about classified logistics and mission and post-mission planning.

Mother Hen - So I need to set up more boring interviews then

Hawkeye - please don’t.

_________________

Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers

That was such a boring interview but hey, at least it’s the Avengers

Lillian #codependentandstufflikethat @littlelilli In reply to @MialovesAvengers

I’d watch them paint for 6 hours if I could.

Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers In reply to @littlelilli

saME

Lillian #codependentandstufflikethat @littlelilli In reply to @MialovesAvengers

They’re just so pure

_________________

I'll break him @stuckyfanOG

A friend just sent me a photo she took of Bucky back in DC, during the bridge fight. And oh damn I’m even more attracted to him now.

article23342031a16ca910

I'll break him @stuckyfanOG In reply to @stuckyfanOG

STEVE ROGERS LIKED THIS OMG

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @stuckyfanOG

And I saved the photo. Hope you don't mind.

I'll break him @stuckyfanOG In reply to @cptrogers1918

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG WHAT DO I DO

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @stuckyfanOG

Find more pictures of Bucky?

I'll break him @stuckyfanOG In reply to @cptrogers1918

Yes!! I can do that!!!!

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @stuckyfanOG

Great. Thanks!

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Hawkeye added Captain Ass-Merica to the chat

Hawkeye - (This needed to be public)

Hawkeye - you really weren’t lying about the whole ‘attracted to the Winter Soldier’ thing huh?

Captain Ass-Merica - hmmm what makes you say that

Hawkeye - Really

Captain Ass-Merica - That was for science

Hawkeye - I hate you so much

_________________

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918

I think I’m gonna leave Bucky

Heather Mac @Heather3 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Oh no! What happened!

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @Heather3

He drank all the coffee - again

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Soooooryyyyyyy

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @cptrogers1917

hmmmmmm

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Don’t sass me

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @cptrogers1917

hmmmmmm don't tell me what to do 

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

gross

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917 and @cptrogers1918

It’s like watching two angry old men yelling at the clouds

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @flying_falcon

download

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Captain Ass-Merica - FUck

Iron Man - ohhh Cap swore

Captain Ass-Merica - Bucky’s injured

Iron Man - Fuck

Iron Man - What happened?

Captain Ass-Merica - The mission in Alabama went wrong. A group of Hydra agents were there and ambushed them. Nat and Clint made it out fine but Bucky got shot multiple times in the torso. Nat said they were waiting for him.

Captain Ass-Merica - I’m on my way to the hospital now

Iron Man - We’ll meet you there.

_________________

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918

My baby got shot and my heart broke :( Get better soon Buck

Screen Shot 2018-10-03 at 10.02.13 AM

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon

Dumbass got himself shot lol

Screen Shot 2018-10-04 at 10.24.19 PM

Chapter Text

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I’m fine lol

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Steve’s just worried

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Had worse, will probably get worse later.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Ah, the life of an Avenger.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @cptrogers1917

You’re not fine. You almost bleed out.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

No, I didn’t

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @cptrogers1917

How’d you know? You were already passed out at this point

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

Blocked.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @cptrogers1917

Baby.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Captain Ass-Merica - we’re on our way home now

Iron Man - Is that safe?

Captain Ass-Merica - No

Captain America’s Bitch - Yeah

Iron Man - Oh.

Captain Ass-Merica - we’ve had many discussions about this

Captain America’s Bitch - bitch fights*

Captain Ass-Merica - Bucky

Iron Man - don’t die in my tower. Bad for PR

Mother Hen - don’t say PR around me.

Hawkeye - PR

Mother Hen - I might die if you do

Hawkeye - oh whoops

Hawkeye - don’t die?

Iron Man - that was the longest sigh I think I’ve ever heard.

Iron Man - you broke Pepper

Hawkeye - Sorry

Captain America’s Bitch - god damn potholes

Captain Ass-Merica - what? Are they hurting you because you were just shot yesterday? And because you shouldn’t be out of the hospital?

Captain America’s Bitch - you’ve jumped out of planes with parachutes and jumped on a grenade and nose-dived into the Arctic and refused to shot me and and and and

Captain America’s Bitch - you have no leg to stand on

Falcon - and he doesn’t spend time in hospital either

Captain America’s Bitch - !!!!!!!!

Captain Ass-Merica - whoops another pothole

Captain America’s Bitch - There was no pothole

Falcon - you two are annoying

Captain America’s Bitch - so we’ve been told

Captain Ass-Merica - No we’re not

Falcon - ugh

_________________

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

I think I’m disbanding the Avengers just so I don’t have to deal with super soldiers

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

You’re a fool if you don’t think I’d make it my life mission to be everywhere you were.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

See what I have to deal with now?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Oh please. I’m adorable.

_________________

Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers

Adorable

Lillian #codependentandstufflikethat @littlelilli In reply to @MialovesAvengers

I cried

Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers In reply to @littlelilli

saME

Lillian #codependentandstufflikethat @littlelilli In reply to @MialovesAvengers

He’s so pure

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Mother Hen - unlike it Steve

Captain Ass-Merica - but the world knows we’re together now.

Mother Hen - unlike it Steven

Captain Ass-Merica - :(

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

What’s a live stream?

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Mother Hen - NO

Mother Hen - NO NO NO

Mother Hen - absolutely no way am I allowing you to do a live stream. It’s hard enough with a delay to beep out inappropriate responses.

Captain America’s Bitch - but I want toooooo

Captain America’s Bitch - I’m never allowed to have any fun

Mother Hen - do you know what PR will do to me if I let this happen?

Hawkeye - SHE SAID IT

Mother Hen removed Hawkeye from the group

Mother Hen - I’ve already gotten mail about it

Captain America’s Bitch - I could go down to PR and

Captain America’s Bitch - persuade them

Captain America’s Bitch - to leave you alone

Captain Ass-Merica - No maiming people Buck

Captain America’s Bitch - persuade

Captain Ass-Merica - Really?

Captain America’s Bitch - Fine.

Mother Hen - thank you

Captain America’s Bitch - for?

Mother Hen - not doing it?

Captain America’s Bitch - oh, I’ve already done it!

Mother Hen - BUCKY!!!

_________________

The camera is tilted towards Steve but is not focused on him, more so focused on the left-hand side of the roof above him. It is tilted in a way that suggests the cameraman doesn’t want the subject to see that he is filming. Steve is sitting next to the cameraman and has a book open on his lap, reading intently. Soft music plays in the background.

Bucky Off Camera: Steve? Do you love me?

Steve : Of course

Bucky : Forever?

Steve looks at Bucky with raised eyebrows, book forgotten. He does not notice the camera pointed at him.

Steve : Yeah. Why?

Bucky : What would I have to do to get you to stop loving me?

Steve : Don’t think there is anything you could do. Why?

Bucky : Good because I ate the last piece of that cake you got.

Steve : Yeah, no, I don’t love you anymore.

Bucky leans over and kisses Steve on the cheek. The camera is shaking and unfocused but it is clear that is what happens. Steve smiles and presses a kiss to Bucky’s forehead before turning back to his book.

Steve: Love you.

Bucky : Love you too.

_________________

Hope Elise @HElise

Omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg #Buckyslivestream

Gina Gina Gina @GG6

#Buckyslivestream Steve looked so confused when Bucky asked if he’d ever stop loving him my heart

Emily @uhem

#Buckyslivestream Their little kisses

Kathy || IA because life hates me @kathybabe

life is finally worth living #Buckyslivestream

Addy @addddddyy

#Buckyslivestream pleassss make more

B @Bburtqa

I’ve shipped Stucky my whole life and I’m finally getting the content I need. Also, suck it Mr Finn (my history teacher) #Buckyslivestream

_________________

Before the picture comes the sound is there. Lots of people are talking over each other and yelling. It sounds like a battle scene. Guns blast and there are sounds like zombies moaning in the background. Someone screams in pain before there is a loud thud-like sound and someone groans. The picture comes on but it is just a black-grey fuzzy screen with no real pictures.

Natasha : Clint!

Clint : Keep going Nat, win for me.

Sam : We’re overrun. I’m using the grenade.

Tony : Get back then!

Natasha : Come on Clint you’re in the grenade’s path

Clint : I can’t move my legs.

Tony : Someone pick him up!

Sam : More incoming, we’ve got to go now!

Clint : Just go without me. I’ll get as many as I can while you run.

Natasha : We’re not leaving you!

Sam : Come on Clint, try moving again.

Tony : Another wave is on its way.

Clint : You’ve gotta go!

Natasha : I’m not leaving you alone.

Tony : You’re not dying on us yet.

Sam : Pick him up and let’s go!

Clint : Ow!

Natasha : It’s okay.

Sam : Launching the grenade in ten-nine.

Tony : Another wave’s here.

Sam : seven-six.

Natasha : Clint, try walking again.

Sam : five-four.

Clint : I can’t. Leave me here or we all die.

Natasha : No.

Sam : Two.

Clint : Nat, go.

Natasha : No.

Sam : Launching.

A loud bang echoes throughout the audio. Natasha calls out for Clint desperately, he doesn’t reply. Tony coughs. Sam yells for Natasha to hurry away from the wreckage. Natasha is crying and refuses to leave. The camera tilts up, Steve is sitting in a chair next to the cameraman shaking his head and sighing. The camera pans around, everyone bar Clint is sitting on a sofa with controllers in their hands facing a TV screen of people standing in the wreckage of a building with Zombies shuffling towards them. Clint is laying on the floor with his eyes closed and his tongue hanging out. Natasha fakes another sob. Tony coughs again and Sam hands him a box of throat lozenges. The camera goes back to Steve, who catches the motion and shakes his head at the camera with a smile.

Steve : Drama queens.

_________________

Aher @ashash

#Buckyslivestream Steve’s so disappointed in his team I stan and love one man

Emily @uhem

#Buckyslivestream so this is what they do when one of them gets sick?

Shar @shamer

Natasha fake sobbing when Clint ‘died’ was just amazing and I live for it. #Buckyslivestream

YunSpite @spite001

#Buckyslivestream Bucky’s the real drama queen - not showing us what was happening for a big reveal.

Mike @mikeOconnor

Did anyone else think that they were actually fighting something? I straight up did. I was concerned lol #Buckyslivestream

_________________

Avengers Assemble

GreatestSpy - damn it Bucky. I have a reputation to uphold.

Captain America's Bitch - sorry

Captain Ass-Merica - you gotta admit the video is kinda funny.

GreatestSpy - no I don’t.

Captain Ass-Merica - come onnnnn

GreatestSpy - fine. The reval is pretty good.

Iron Man - we’re trending over it.

Mother Hen - Why

Captain America's Bitch - at least you’re trending because people like you. Not because you’re hated for something that wasn’t really your fault.

Mother Hen - okay. True.

Captain America's Bitch - It’s good for PR

Mother Hen - Don’t push it

_________________

The scene opens with Bucky’s face staring at the camera and smiling. Over his shoulder is Steve, who waves once before looking past the camera. Bucky grins and flips the camera around. It goes shaky but the scene is clear. Everyone is standing in the gym in a circle with Natasha and Clint in the middle. Tony is handed some cash by Bruce and Sam. Steve, still behind the camera, stretches his arms up before stepping past Bucky and into the circle made by bystanders.

Tony : Alright, we ready?

Everyone in the room cheers by Steve, who looks resigned. Steve looks at Bucky and by the movement of the camera, it seems Bucky shrugs.

Bucky : We’re about to find out who’d win. Steven Grant Rogers versus Natalia Romanova and Clint Barton. What are the bets saying?

Tony : Steve.

Bucky : Ouch

Clint : Oh please

Bucky : Fight!

The camera flips back around and Bucky winks at the screen. It cuts to black as a cheer rises over the room.

_________________

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

#Buckyslivestream WHO WON?????????

Ditzy Daisy @DaisyDo

#Buckyslivestream so they just play fight all the time? It’s that all they do?

Poppy @PoppyGurl

I’m in love #Buckyslivestream

Llama Fucker @redToby

#Buckyslivestream THAT WINK OMG I’M SO GAY

Alex @Alex99

#Buckyslivestream I wanna know who won!!!!!

_________________

The camera clicks on. It’s blurry before it settles on the image. Natasha, Clint, Tony, Wanda, Sam, Bruce and Pepper are sitting around the living room on sofas. Everyone has bottles of beer in their hands and are laughing. Tony throws a pretzel at Clint who catches it in his mouth and eats it. Tony groans. The camera is flipped around to show Bucky, who is sitting on Steve’s lap.

Bucky : Say hi to the fans.

Steve : Is this live?

Bucky : Yup.

Steve : Hi everyone.

Clint : Are you live streaming again?

The camera flicks around to show everyone else as Clint talks. Now everyone is staring at Bucky and Steve.

Bucky : Yeah.

Natasha : I thought Pepper told you not to do that.

Pepper : I did.

Bucky : I forgot. You know, brain damage.

No one looks happy, all of them scowling at Bucky. No one seems genuinely angry, however.

Tony : Your brain isn’t even damaged.

Bucky : Stevie back me up.

Sam : Yeah Stevieeee back him up.

Steve : Leave me alone.

Bucky : Some fiance you are.

The camera shakes and goes higher, Bucky tilts it down so that you can still see everyone who is sitting. The picture hangs high for a moment before it falls down, Bucky grunting as he hits the sofa. Again, the camera flips so that it’s on Bucky who is pouting up at Steve who grins down.

Bucky : Why?

Steve : I want a drink.

Bucky : So you decided to drop me?

Steve : Yup.

Sam : You two are so annoying.

Bucky : You love us.

Sam : I’d sell you for a coffee.

Bucky Winking : Please, I’m worth at least ten. Aren’t I Stevie?

Pepper : Bucky!

The camera cuts to black, Pepper and Tony both race towards Bucky as he laughs.

_________________

Aher @ashash

#Buckyslivestream Another wink???????? I am literally living

Emily @uhem

#Buckyslivestream guess who got a detention for being on her phone in class? How could I not???? I need the Stucky content!

Shar @shamer In reply to @uhem

#Buckyslivestream I got told off at work as well - whoops?

Kathy || IA because life hates me @kathybabe

This is what heaven looks like. #Buckyslivestream

B @Bburtqa

#Buckyslivestream Ugh I love this

Addy @addddddyy

Steve and Bucky are so comfortable around each other! They have the kind of relationship I’m striving for#Buckyslivestream

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @addddddyy

Yeah, we’re comfortable around each other. Steve’s nearly died in my arms like 100 times, we got close.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes17

You’re so calm about my near-death-experiences.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

You didn’t die, did you? And besides, you’re a dumbass and are now a super soldier who won’t die because of a cold. (And so we’re clear I cried every time I thought Steve was gonna die)

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes17

You’re also a super soldier, dumbass. And I distinctly remember you yelling at our priest once and my mother yelling at you.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Yeah, he was gonna give you last rites and I told him that you weren’t gonna die. I said I’d fight God in a back alley if he tried to take me away. #elementaryschoolsweethearts

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes17

Awww, babe that’s so sweet (and blasphemy)

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Anything for you and I didn’t even have to fight God. You started getting better the next day.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes17

I love you so much.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

GreatestSpy - I think that was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen

Hawkeye - you’re both gross still but yeah I’m with Nat.

Iron Man - you really threatened to fight god?

Captain America’s Bitch - yup. And it worked.

Mother Hen - That is pretty sweet.

Captain America’s Bitch - Now it’s not god I have to fight to keep Steve safe. It’s Steve.

Captain Ass-Merica - hey!

Captain America’s Bitch - I said what I said.

Chapter Text

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Steve and Bucky are fighting over who is in who’s grooms party.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Steve said he was friends with people first and Bucky’s only come back was ‘you thawed first, no fair’.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Steve - let’s have a small wedding. Bucky - let’s invite every single person we know.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

“We can’t have a big wedding, Buck, we only have like five friends between us and our families are dead” - super depressing take from Steve

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Tony and Clint are now fighting over who the five friends are. Sam is the only confirmed member so far and he’s very pleased with himself because of it.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

“It was a hyperbole!” Steve, annoyed and yelling at Tony and Clint

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Tony and Clint were kicked out of the living room. Bucky wants to invite the president and Steve is weirded out by that idea. (He totally wants him to come through)

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Clint just came back in, declaring Bucky to be his best friend. Tony came in, same sentiment with Steve but Sam cleared his throat. Tony and Sam are now fighting over it. Steve is tired.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Tony - I’m not paying (he’s so gonna pay because he loves them)

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Steve - laid back and happy. Bucky - a literal bridezilla

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

“You’re ruining my wedding!” “It’s my wedding too?”

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

You can calm Bucky down with a bar of chocolate and a hug #funfact

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

You can get Steve to do whatever you want with a pout and a hug #funfact

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

That last tweet only applies if you’re Bucky. Tony tried it and got a look of utter disappointment.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

“I am not wearing my stealth suit at my wedding Bucky”

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

“Well then I won’t wear my leathers Steve”

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

They’re at an impasse

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Clint suggested they wear their work gear after the wedding and was kicked out again.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

They’ve decided

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Nope, they’re fighting again.

43950794_1384146638382080_6571388636774793216_n

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Steve is very disappointed in everyone who liked my last tweet.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Suits at the wedding, gear at the party - Tony’s great idea.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Steve is trying to get Bucky to tone it down with all the planning. Bucky started (fake) crying and saying ‘I just want it to be perfect for you’. Steve fell for it.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Steve always falls for it.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

“We’re going to bed” says Bucky “it’s only four” says Tony “we’re not going to sleep” says Bucky “I wish I had never fallen out of the wormhole in New York” says Tony.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

They actually left omfg

_________________

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

10,000 rts and I’ll sneak into their room with my camera lol

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

When will you guys learn? Stop crashing Twitter.

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

Steve and Bucky both saw my Tweet and now I’m on the run. Goodbye, Twitter.

_________________

Micheal Micheal Micheal @M_dust

The @avengers are so calm and blase about death. Clearly, they don’t actually care about the people they’re ‘saving’.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @M_dust

Going to be completely honest - don’t follow your logic. But we’re blase about death because we face it literally every day and laughing about it makes it easier. Also, like all of us have died and/or nearly died numerous times.

Micheal Micheal Micheal @M_dust In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

And how many of those deaths are YOU responsible for?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @M_dust

Directly or indirectly?

Micheal Micheal Micheal @M_dust In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Directly.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @M_dust

One person two times (maybe two people?)

Micheal Micheal Micheal @M_dust In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Explain, dick.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @M_dust

Okay, first, roll back the attitude pal. I’ve shot Nat twice (sorry nat) and I also fell off a train but I don’t think that was my fault, ya know?

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

All good.

Micheal Micheal Micheal @M_dust In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

You should have died when you fell from that train.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @M_dust

Lowkey did

Micheal Micheal Micheal @M_dust In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Yeah, that’s what you say. Can anyone else back that up? Didn’t think so.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @M_dust

I mean, it was a very long drop. I thought he died :/

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @M_dust

HA

Micheal Micheal Micheal @M_dust In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I hate you so much. And I’m not alone either. We will win.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @M_dust

Had no idea I was playing a game tbh

Micheal Micheal Micheal @M_dust In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

We will win.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @M_dust

Will win what?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Oh, lol, he blocked me. Shame, I was having fun.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Also, I still don’t know what they’re winning??????

_________________

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

They’ve finally settled the suit topic. Steve will be wearing a blue suit and Bucky will be wearing black. They’re now fighting (“discussing, Nat, we’re discussing” -Steve) over what the other colour will be.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Bucky wants pink and Steve is unsure.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

They’ve been fighting over colours for TEN MINUTES

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

I’m really glad Clint and I got married in a chapel in Budapest. No fuss, no hassle. Just us and a bunch of men carrying a lot of guns.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Steve is thinking they don’t have another colour now. Interesting development.

43952010_2304111652936697_1530921228435456000_n

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

I am trying to get the link to the Pinterest board that Bucky has set up for the wedding. I will get it and I will give it to you. It has become my duty

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

You will not be getting that link.

_________________

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Bucky wants these at the wedding, what do you think?

2e74814fd720fd32861c1b4a2a1c2323 _DSC0200

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Steve has relented on the cufflinks. All the groomsmen will be wearing them. He will not relent on the invitations.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

We have finally decided who will be in what grooms party.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes17

Only took us two weeks.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Sam, Tony and Rhodey are Steve’s.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918

Clint, Thor and Bruce are Bucky’s.

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

It sounds like they’re splitting the kids up. Also, we weren’t asked.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @arrowboi

We assumed you’d be on board.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @cptrogers1918

Wouldn’t miss it.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @cptrogers1918

Wedding of the century.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

And it only took us a century to get there

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Oh, and Nat is the bridesmaid and Wanda is our flower girl.

_________________

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

“Why are you trying to make this wedding so traditional Steve! Nothing about us is traditional!” -Bucky

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

“No one gets married at 100 Steve”

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

“We’re not 100!”
Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

“Then how old are we, Steve?” “We’re 30 Bucky” “No! I was alive sometimes and if I think like that I’m gonna go crazy.” “You’d rather be 100?” “Yes!” “Well, fine, but then we’re 97 and 98.” “I can’t. The wedding’s off”

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Captain Ass-Merica - Nat, please stop live tweet our discussions

Iron Man - fights*

Captain Ass-Merica - discussions

Iron Man - fights

Captain Ass-Merica - discussions

Captain America’s Bitch - they’re fights lol.

GreatestSpy - I will not. I owe the people this.

Captain America’s Bitch - you hate the public

GreatestSpy - Hate’s a strong word

Captain America’s Bitch - You didn’t deny it.

Iron Man - please continue. I like knowing but I don’t want to be in the room with them right now. They’re both evil.

Captain America’s Bitch - Am not.

Falcon - imagine closer to the day

Iron Man - I don’t want to.

Mother Hen - different media outlets are asking to be at the wedding.

Captain Ass-Merica - No.

Mother Hen - They’re very persistent.

Captain America’s Bitch - I am not being filmed on my big day

Captain Ass-Merica - Our big day

Captain America’s Bitch - I am not being filmed on MY big day

Captain Ass-Merica - You’re annoying

Captain America’s Bitch - love you too babe

Mother Hen - What about just photos outside. People are going to want to see what you’re wearing and who’s there and all that sort of stuff. I know it’s annoying but you’ve already made this wedding very public. People expect to see what’s happening. Maybe we could live stream some of it? Or only film the parts you want and then produce it later. Whatever you guys want.

Captain America’s Bitch - Photos outside are fine.

Captain Ass-Merica - Is our wedding becoming, like, a red carpet event?

Falcon - You’re surprised?

Captain Ass-Merica - Not really.

Captain America’s Bitch - OH! We could have someone live-tweeting inside the wedding right? So there’s no camera but people can read live updates?

Mother Hen - That could work.

Captain America’s Bitch - I vote Clint

Captain America’s Bitch added Hawkeye to the chat

Mother Hen - I don’t vote Clint. At all.

Falcon - That’d be amazing

Iron Man - an amazing disaster

Hawkeye - Yeah, I vote myself as well.

GreatestSpy - perfect. Clint live tweets the entire wedding.

Mother Hen - Then he isn’t allowed to drink

Hawkeye - I withdraw my vote for myself

Wanda - we could all do it? Like movie night. That way people who are busy don’t have to worry and stuff.

Wanda - Also, why am I the flower girl?????? Can’t I be a bridesmaid

Captain Ass-Merica - Yeah, Bucky was teasing.

Wanda - :/

Mother Hen - I’ll let some photographs know they can come. Maybe three or four different magazines companies?

Captain America’s Bitch - Oh, I already told two magazines they could feature it and that they could come. The Advocate and Out. You can organize the other 3.

Mother Hen - Alright, we can work with that.

Captain America’s Bitch removed Captain Ass-Merica from the chat

Captain America’s Bitch - I’m excited for this! I really love Steve.

Captain America’s Bitch added Captain Ass-Merica to the chat

Captain Ass-Merica - Why? I can read what you just wrote.

Captain America’s Bitch - :)

_________________

The camera is pointed directly at a shirtless Steve who is reading a letter with a small smile on his face. He sets the letter down in one of the two piles on his left and picks up another, unopened, letter from his right. The smile grows as he reads this one and his eyes get warm and soft. Clearly, he is happy with what is written in the letter. The camera shakes a little and then legs can be seen at the bottom of the screen, stretching out, they are the cameraman's. A socked foot nudges Steve’s leg. Steve looks up and notices the camera, tilting his head in confusion.

Bucky Off-Camera: Tell everyone what you’re doing.

Steve : Why?

Bucky : They never believe me when I tell them that you do.

Steve : I’m reading fan mail.

Bucky : See everyone, we read it. What’s this one about?

Steve : Well, it’s to both of us. She’s thanking us for giving her the courage to come out to her parents.

Bucky : Are you going to respond to her?

Steve : Yeah.

Bucky : What will you say?

Steve : That she doesn’t need to thank us, that the courage was in her the entire time. Stuff like that.

Bucky : Deep.

Steve shrugging : I do what I can.

Bucky : See everyone, we do read your fan mail and there is a wall of fanart in the common area. I’ll have to show you that one day. Every piece of fanart we get goes up there. No matter what, it’s there. My favourite’s the one of us that someone drew based on their textbook pictures. It’s us before the war, back in Brooklyn. We’re hugging, it’s so cute. So thanks, uh, Emily. What’s your favourite one, Steve?

Steve : That collage of pictures sent in by the daycare. We’re all there.

Bucky : Oh that one’s adorable. Alright, now you all know that we read and see what you send us. I’ve gotta go, my pizza just arrived.

The camera shakes as Bucky climbs off the bed. He turns around, the screen flashes different parts of their bedroom as the connection catches up. Bucky starts walking out of the room.

Steve yelling as Bucky leaves the room : Our pizza

Bucky : Mine!

_________________

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

;)

Chapter Text

Avengers Assemble

Mother Hen - heyyyyyyy

Iron Man - not gonna lie that made me uncomfortable.

Mother Hen - Shut up Tony.

Mother Hen - So, you all remember when we were filmed for TV? They want to do that again. People really, really, liked it.

Mother Hen - What do you think?

Captain America’s Bitch - sure. I like watching it

Captain Ass-Merica - Don’t mind.

GreatestSpy - fine by me

Mother Hen - Great, everyone’s on board.

Hawkeye - three people said yes??

Mother Hen - We’re doing it tomorrow.

_________________

Avengers kitchen, the sun is rising over New York, shown through the glass windows. Steve and Tony are to one side of the room, talking softly between themselves. Pepper is on the phone on the other side of the room. Wanda is making food in the kitchen, Clint is trying to eat what she is making, with her powers she picks up a spoon and hits him until he leaves. Natasha laughs. Bruce walks into the room, sees them and sighs before walking to Steve and Tony. Bucky and Sam are playing Mario Kart on the TV. Bucky wins the level, Sam pushes him off the couch.

Sam

You cheated.

Bucky

No, I didn’t.

Sam

You were terrible last week, no way you got this good that quick.

Bucky

Or I’m just talented.

Steve

He hasn’t stopped playing since you beat him.

Sam

Oh?

Bucky

Still better than you.

Tony

You two are children.

Sam

Says you.

Tony

I did nothing.

Pepper

You reprogram Wii sports resort so that you would win no matter what because Steve bet you.

Natasha

How can you be so smart but so dumb?

Clint

Wouldn’t it be easier to just practise at the Wii?

Wanda

It’s Wii. Not exactly a hard game to play.

Tony

No, shut up.

Steve

You cheated because I bet you?

Tony

Yes! I didn’t want someone older than my dad to bet me.

Steve

Really?

Bucky

Steve’s not older than Howard anyway.

Tony

No one asked you.

Bucky

Touchy.

Pepper

He gets upset when he’s beaten in games, doesn't he?

Tony

Is it make fun of Tony day?

Bucky

What a good idea, thank.

Tony

Don’t make me get a giant magnet.

There’s a large pause as everyone thinks over what Tony said before they all burst into laughter. Wanda pushes a plate of pancakes into the middle of the kitchen as the laughter dies down. Natasha hits Clint with a spoon so she can get to the food faster.

Natasha

When are you going to Washington?

Steve

I was thinking off going on the tenth. For a few days.

Bucky

We can invite the president then, then.

Steve

We’re not inviting the president to our wedding.

Bucky

That’s what you think.

Tony

No! No! No wedding talk at breakfast, that’s a rule. Stop.

Natasha

I asked because I need to go so I’ll come with you.

Sam

You never come to visit me.

Bucky

Cause you’re annoying.

Sam

I could die right now. You’d regret your words then.

Bucky

No, I wouldn’t.

Sam

Yeah, okay.

Bucky

You. Are. Annoying.

Natasha

Do you ever stop?

Steve

No. No, they don’t.

Tony

I feel for you.

Bucky

Rude. Anyway, I want to go to Russia.

Steve

Why?

Bucky

They have my dog tags. Want them back.

Steve

We’re not going to Russia.

Bucky

I know where they are now!

Steve

Where?

Bucky

54°41'21.5 North 39°44'21.5 East.

Tony

What?

Bucky

Ryazan Oblast, just outside of Moscow.

Tony

Why coordinates?

Bucky

I can’t control my dreams.

Tony

What?

Steve

Doesn’t matter. We’re not going to Russia. Last month you made me go to Latvia because you wanted a coffee and the shop wasn’t even there anymore!

Bucky

Not my fault it got burnt down.

Tony

What?

Natasha

I’ll go to Russia with you.

Bucky

See, a true friend.

Natasha

There’s a few building I need to burn down.

Bucky

Did you burn down my coffee shop?

Natasha

Was it a cover?

Bucky

No.

Natasha

Probably not then.

Sam

Hydra let you have coffee?

Bucky

Undercover mission. Blah blah. And, Steve, we had so much fun in Latvia.

Steve

Our hotel kicked us out at three am.

Bucky

Because of the fun, we were having.

Clint throws the bottle of syrup at Bucky. He catches it easily with his metal hand before dropping it and groaning. Syrup drips out of the plates in his hand. He grimaces as he wipes some of it away on Steve’s shoulder. Steve bats him away but Bucky ignores his protests and continues.

Bucky

That’s never coming out.

Tony

That’s what Steve said

Steve picks up the bottle of syrup at throws it at Tony, who groans and shakes his head as syrup gets into his hair.

_________________

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

WEDDING! WEDDING TALK! MORE WEDDING TALK PLEASE  #Avengerson3

Addy @addddddyy

I am SOOOO happy they did this again #Avengerson3

Aher @ashash

#Avengerson3 These cuties own me

YunSpite @spite001

#Avengerson3 Steve’s so done with Bucky and Sam omfg I stan one (1) tired fiance

Mike @mikeOconnor

#Avengerson3 Tony (IRON MAN/A GENIUS) can’t bet Steve or Bucky (100-year-olds) on Wii. I am sobbing on the floor.

Hope Elise @HElise retweeted by @HElise

We talk about Stucky but Pepperony and Clintasha?? Valid. #Avengerson3

_________________

Steve, Bucky, Sam and Tony are on the roof of the Avengers tower. Bucky is holding a Starbucks drink and the others have mugs clasped in their hand. Sam is on the phone and looks stressed, everyone else is tense. Sam hangs up the phone and shakes his head slowly. Bucky and Steve both look sad and Tony sighs. Tony reaches his hand out for the phone but Sam shakes his head again and puts it in his pocket.

Sam

They didn’t make it.

Steve

What happened?

Sam

Border patrol picked them up, saw the stuff and took it. Clint tried to get it back but they didn’t relent.

Bucky

Did they not use the Avenger excuse?

Sam

Nat tried to. No luck.

Tony

That really makes this all a lot harder.

Sam

They’re on their way back. They said they’d try and find a replacement.

Steve

There is no replacement.

Bucky

What do we do?

Steve

Wait for them to get back I guess.

After Steve speaks a quinjet appears in the distance. Steve and Bucky turn first, spotting it, and then the others turn. They fall silent as it comes closer. It lands opposite them on the roof and the back opens up. Natasha, Clint and Wanda walk out all looking crestfallen and are empty-handed. Bucky claps Clint on the back when they meet up in the middle of the roof and Clint nods back solemnly.

Bucky

Nothing?

Clint

No. I’m sorry guys.

Steve

I guess we can’t-

Wanda

We can. It just won’t be the same.

Sam

We can’t.

Natasha

We can try.

Steve

You’re optimistic.

Sam

No way. We can’t have a party without Joe’s moonshine.

Tony

Sam’s right. It’s not the same.

They all turn and head towards the doors inside. Bucky swaps his cup from his metal hand to his flesh and then sticks his metal arm up Steve’s shirt. Steve squeals and jumps. Bucky and everyone bar Steve laughs loudly.

Steve

I’m going to get you for that.

Bucky takes his hand back before running at top speed to the edge of the roof. He jumps off, twisting as he falls to catch himself on a window ledge. Steve takes off towards the doors at full speed, everyone running after him. They get to the living room just as Bucky falls threw an open window. Pepper looks on his embarrassment and annoyance. Steve points at Bucky, his eyes widen. Bucky runs off again, towards the stairs, and Steve chases after him. The others all fall onto the sofas around Pepper.

Pepper

Did you get it?

Natasha

Border control took it off us.

Pepper

Really? What a shame.

There is yelling and loud bumping and thumping noises from far away. Pepper sighs again and shakes her head. The others ignore the noises, Sam puts the TV on and goes to the food network and they all start watching the Great British Bake Off. Bucky runs back into the room with a cube of ice in his hand. Steve follows him in. As soon as they see each other they through the ice. Each one throws accurately and they both end up groaning as it hits their forehead.

Clint

You should put some ice on that.

Steve and Bucky both throw the ice at Clint. The screen cuts to black and when it comes back on everyone is sitting on the sofas. Bucky and Steve and curled up together on an armchair, Pepper and Tony sit side by side. Sam and Wanda are complaining about and criticising the bakers on the TV. Natasha sits on the sofa with Clint behind her on the back of the chair, she’s resting between his legs and he’s holding a pack of peas to his cheek.

_________________

Gina Gina Gina @GG6

That was too much omg #stucky kills me every time #Avengerson3

Emily @uhem

#Avengerson3 Sam and Wanda at the end? Can they be the new judges on all food shows please??????

Angie @fallenangel

#Avengerson3 Bucky’s face when Steve told him he’d get him? Pure.

Shar @shamer

Are we not talking about Bucky jumping off the side of the building to get away and just like fucking flipping midway and shit. Because that’s never, ever ever leaving my mind let’s be honest. #Avengerson3

YunSpite @spite001

#Avengerson3 Bucky’s Starbucks tho

Rachel @rachxpeach

#Avengerson3 Clint’s joke was such a dad joke

_________________

Steve and Bucky are sitting at the dining room table, a laptop open in front of them and a binder in between them. Bucky points at something on the laptop and Steve shakes his head, Bucky pouts. Clint and Natasha walk in, both wearing workout gear and have clearly just been working out. Bucky points to the laptop again, Clint grins and Natasha rolls her eyes.

Bucky

Clint likes it.

Natasha

That’s not something to aspire to have then.

Clint

Hey!

Natasha

It’s the truth. What are you guys doing?

Steve

Bucky went behind my back and invented the president to our wedding.

Bucky

It should be a national holiday.

Steve

Why?

Bucky

Your birthday is, why not your wedding?

Clint

What came first, the 4th of July or Steve Rogers?

Steve

Really?

Clint

Yup. I’m sticking with it.

Steve

You shouldn't.

Natasha

I hate you all.

Clint

Wait, did the president say yes?

Bucky

That’s the best part! He did!

_________________

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918

Yes. President Ellis has RSVP’d yes to mine and Bucky’s wedding. We’re both honoured that he’s coming.

_________________

DiggerDave5000 @davediggs

What was Bucky pointing at on the screen? I couldn’t see it! #Avengerson3

Llama Fucker @redToby

Clint’s face when Nat roasted him lol#Avengerson3

Alex @Alex99

#Avengerson3 They’re Avengers just seem so sweet! I want to hug them all tbh.

Angie @fallenangel

#Avengerson3 Steve “you shouldn’t” Rogers is my Jam

Shar @shamer

#Avengerson3 My crops are watered, my grades are high, my skin is clear, my depression is gone.

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

#Avengerson3 I don’t have the words to explain how much I love these people.

56e1f6a228f49355efc5e6f02c714577 eb627cdde1525d9a03d80605b7892dec

large 99680c56197cd735103798daad6dad06

_________________

All the Avengers are sitting around a large table, a covered plate sitting in front of each person. Bucky points to one and says something that isn’t audible. Steve scoffs and everyone else looks confused.

Sam

I don’t care what you made, just let us eat it. I’m hungry.

Bucky

You sure?

Tony

Yes. You made us wait way too long.

Sam

This better be worth it.

Bucky

It is.

Pepper

I’m sure it’ll be lovely.

Bucky

Go ahead.

Everyone lifts their covers. Each dish has something different. Rhodey, Tony, Pepper and Bruce all have some form of pasta. Wanda and Nat have a stew. Clint has a homemade pizza. Steve and Bucky both have identical burgers. Sam has a strange, flat, cake. Bucky grins as Sam stares at it. Sam looks up with a glare, picks up the cake, and throws it straight at Bucky. The screen cuts to credits just as Bucky picks up Steve’s burger to throw it back at Sam.

_________________

Gina Gina Gina @GG6

#Avengerson3 a foOD FIGHT????????

Emily @uhem

#Avengerson3 OMG the avengers proving time and time again that they are children

Angie @fallenangel

They own my heart fyi #Avengerson3

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

#Avengerson3 Bucky looked sooooo smug when Sam saw his plate.

DiggerDave5000 @davediggs

#Avengerson3 okay but was there a food fight?

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @davediggs

Yes. It lasted a very long time as well.

Llama Fucker @redToby

#Avengerson3 Yeah but who won the food fight?

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @redtoby

thaT’s a gOod questioN that no one can answer for You. it’s harD to say when you all are hIghly skilleD fighters.

Llama Fucker @redToby In reply to @youknowhho-Iam

OMFG

Alex @Alex99

#Avengerson3 What was on Sam’s plate though?

Coolest Avenger @flyingfalcon In reply to @Alex99

It was MAYONNAISE CAKE. Do you see why I hate Bucky now?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917   In reply to @flying_falcon

Rude.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Captain America’s Bitch - I’m never cooking for any of you ever again.

Falcon - good.

Captain America’s Bitch - piss off

Falcon - No. You.

Captain America’s Bitch - baby

Falcon - says the baby

Captain America’s Bitch - baby

Falcon - You’re the baby

Iron Man removed Captain America’s Bitch from the group

Iron Man removed Falcon from the group.

Chapter Text

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I am angry 

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Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Maybe bar Sam

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Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

And I wouldn't change it (yes I would please stop Steve my knees hurt)

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Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

#relatable 

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Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

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Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

In relation to the last Tweet  

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Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

The two of them will kill me (for real this time) one day

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Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

It's true and I'm going to say it 

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Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

A hot take

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Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I'm jealous

Screen Shot 2018-10-27 at 3.30.29 PM

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

But...

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Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I like this one #pleasestopsteve

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Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

What's humour without laughing at yourself? 

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Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I also like laughing at Clint

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Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Love you, Pepper 

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Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Another Hot Take

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Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Ohhh some more 

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Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Keep it going 

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Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Let's talk about this

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Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I have a problem but I like it so ha

Screen Shot 2018-10-27 at 3.41.20 PM

 

Chapter Text

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 

Spooky 

dancingpumpkinguybanner

~~

Maddie || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

So did the Avengers dress up last night??

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917  In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Yup! We had a costume party.

Maddie || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan  In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Please tell me what you dressed up as 

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917  In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Captain America 

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918  In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Black Widow 

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowho-Iam In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Pepper Potts

OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

War Machine/Rhodey  

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Hawkeye 

Rhodey @war_machine_rox In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Bruce Banner and Hulk

Wanda Maximoff @scarletxwitch In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Iron Man 

Bruce Banner @dr_banner In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Wanda

Pepper @PepPotts   In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Falcon

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

A dumbass (Bucky/Winter Soldier)

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917  In reply to @flying_falcon

Rude.

Chapter Text

OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

So are we not talking about Bucky’s memes?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @arrowboi

No, we’re not.

OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @cptrogers1918

And can I ask why?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @arrowboi

No.

OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @cptrogers1918

Of course not

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @arrowboi

He was having fun

OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @cptrogers1918

Why do I talk to you guys?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @arrowboi

Leave me alone.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

The wedding is being postponed ‘cause I need to work on my movie.

Asdfghjkl @TeLucy In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

How does Steve feel about that?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @TeLucy

Doesn’t matter. My movie needs work.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @TeLucy

I don’t mind

Asdfghjkl @TeLucy In reply to @cptrogers1918

Ugh we stan supportive husbands

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @TeLucy

Don’t know what that means

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @TeLucy

We’re not husbands yet lol

Asdfghjkl @TeLucy In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I just embarrassed myself in front of my heroes because i am an idiot

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @TeLucy

You're not an idiot! You made Bucky laugh!

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

You’re such an idiot (I Love you so much)

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @cptrogers1918 and @sgtbarnes1917

Can you two please get back to work? Clint nearly got shot.

Asdfghjkl @TeLucy In reply to @cptrogers1918 and @sgtbarnes1917 and @blackwidow_baby

Are you on a mission right now?

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @TeLucy

Yup. They are.

Asdfghjkl @TeLucy In reply to @cptrogers1918 and @sgtbarnes1917 and @blackwidow_baby

Omfg don’t die

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @TeLucy

We won’t. Too stubborn to die. It’s how Steve survived his entire childhood.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Rude.

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby In reply to @cptrogers1918 and @sgtbarnes1917

Get back to work!!

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Fuck America

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

;)

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Wanda - who broke the dishwasher??

Iron Man - the dishwasher’s broken?

Wanda - Yeah, I wanted a mug but they’re all the dirty (you animals) so I loaded the dishwasher but it won’t turn on.

Iron Man - I swear, it’s like I’m running a b&b for bikers or something.

Wanda - It wasn’t me so it was one of you lot.

Captain Ass-Merica - wasn’t me. I can tell you that because I don’t use the dishwasher.

Captain America’s Bitch - I can confirm that he washes all of his dishes by hand like a weirdo. But it wasn’t me either. I did break the fridge tho.

Iron Man - What fridge?

GreatestSpy - the one in the gym. He punches the glass door last night.

Captain America’s Bitch - T’was an accident.

Iron Man - T’was?

Falcon - I hate you so much

Captain America’s Bitch - Yes and you love me.

Falcon - how do you break a dishwasher?

Wanda - It looks like someone stabbed something into the control panel.

Falcon - Bucky and Natasha use knives the most.

GreatestSpy - It could've been an arrow @arrowboy

Hawkeye - it’s arrowboi. But it wasn’t me. Plenty of knives in the kitchen.

Falcon - Nat was quick to judge

GreatestSpy - Wasn’t me.

Bruce - I haven't been in the common area for a while but you’d have to pretty strong to get a knife in the panel.

Wanda - How do you know that?

Bruce - I’ve tried before.

GreatestSpy - thanks for your honesty.

Captain America’s Bitch - Steve’s strong

Captain Ass-Merica - So are you

Captain America’s Bitch - I wouldn’t use a knife I have a metal arm.

Wanda - okay but it could have been broken weeks ago Bruce. You’re still a suspect.

Bruce - I am the only one who ever loads it, why’d I break it?

Wanda - It wasn’t Bruce. We’ve narrowed it down to 8.

Rhodey - I haven't been to the tower in a few weeks. Last time I was there it was working and I know that because I used it.

Captain America’s Bitch - So the last person to use it was Rhodey. Interesting.

Rhodey - Why’d I break the dishwasher?

Captain America’s Bitch - True.

Wanda - We’ve narrowed it down to 7.

Hawkeye - I bet it was Tony.

Iron Man - Why?

Hawkeye - Gut feeling.

Iron Man - I think it was you.

Hawkeye - Jokes on you. I don’t use dishwashers.

GreatestSpy - that’s true. sadly

Falcon - You stabbed it with an arrow for payback

Wanda - I think it was a knife tbh doesn’t look like an arrow cut

Falcon - That doesn’t rule out Clint.

GreatestSpy - Yeah, but I doubt Clint even knows where the dishwasher is

Hawkeye - Thanks!

GreatestSpy - He’s disgusting like that

Hawkeye - Hey!

Captain America’s Bitch - The question we need to ask is who hates the dishwasher?

Wanda - you two are old. You probably are technology.

Falcon - Are you saying it was a double job?

Wanda - Don’t see why it couldn’t be.

Captain Ass-Merica - that’s ridiculous.

Wanda - they’re not denying it.

Captain Ass-Merica - Denying it.

Captain America’s Bitch - Wasn’t either of us. This is what happened: Tony did it to see if he could fix it, got distracted and left. Forgot about it. Doesn’t want to admit he failed something as easy as a dishwasher with a stab wound. Leaves it for someone else to find. Blames other people.

Iron Man - What?!?

Wanda - he’s not denying it.

Iron Man - Yes I am

Iron Man - I could fix it if I wanted to anyway it’s not hard.

Wanda - Okay. Down to 5 because I believe Tony (and I don’t think Pepper would stab a dishwasher)

Mother Hen - thank you, Wanda

Iron Man - Suck it old man

Falcon - Bucky was quick to make up a story

Captain America’s Bitch - You were quick to deny it as well.

Captain America’s Bitch - anyway I wouldn’t hide it if I did it.

GreatestSpy - Same.

Wanda - Okay. Down to 3. Sam, Steve and Clint.

Captain America’s Bitch - It wasn’t Steve.

Hawkeye - How do you know

Captain America’s Bitch - I spend all my time with him plus he would tell me if he did it

Captain Ass-Merica - That’s true

Wanda - Down to 2. Sam and Clint.

Hawkeye - I don’t even know where the dishwasher is.

Captain America’s Bitch - So it was SAM

Falcon - I only got back to NY yesterday! How could i break it from DC huh?

Wanda - Could have been broken this morning.

Falcon - Haven’t been in the common area yet.

Iron Man - We have an AI who films everything. We could ask him.

Captain Ass-Merica - If you want to look it up, say so. I do.

Captain America’s Bitch - do it

Bruce - Go for it.

Iron Man - Yes.

Hawkeye - Yeah

Wanda - a better idea than this

GreatestSpy - yes

Rhodey - I’m fine with it.

Falcon - yup

_________________

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

I have never felt more betrayed in my life.

_________________

Avengers Assemble  

Wanda - Pepper!

Captain Ass-Merica - Pepper!

Hawkeye - Pepper!

Captain America’s Bitch - Pepper!

Bruce - Pepper!

Falcon - Pepper!

Iron Man - Pepper!

Rhodey - Pepper!

GreatestSpy - Pepper!

_________________

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

Those who love you will stab you in the back the hardest

_________________

Avengers Assemble  

Mother Hen - I’m sorry! I couldn’t get it to turn on and the knife was right there and …

_________________

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

My heart is scattered to all the corners of the universe. I will never get every piece back.

_________________

Avengers Assemble  

Mother Hen - That’s a bit dramatic

Hawkeye - I’m with you Tony.

_________________

Pepper @PepPotts

I’m sorry everyone.

________________

Avengers Assemble  

Captain America’s Bitch - Is anyone else watching the news?

Captain America’s Bitch - This century is so fucked

Captain America’s Bitch - fucking weird

Captain America’s Bitch - Like - why? You know.

Captain Ass-Merica - it’s not thaaaat bad

Captain America’s Bitch - It’s strange

Iron Man - what’s happening?

Captain America’s Bitch - Dude dressed as a spider swinging around Queens. Hero or Villain?

Captain Ass-Merica - Hero.

Captain America’s Bitch - Is he Nat’s prodigy?

GreatestSpy- no.

Iron Man - Everyone bet on names. Spiderling.

GreatestSpy- Spider-boy

Captain Ass-Merica - The red spider.

Captain America’s Bitch - Slinger

Falcon - you guys are weird

Falcon - Web Slinger

Captain America’s Bitch - That’s basically mine what the hell

________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Okay. So, for the movie. It’s going to open on a shot of Steve getting his ass handed to him in an alleyway. He tries to fight back (like an idiot who wants to get punched). He’s losing until I turn up and save him.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

This is what happened every single day.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

That’s not true.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Oh, it is.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

No. It’s not.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

It is. Do you know how many times I had a cousin running up to me telling me that you were about to start a fight??? So many times Steve.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Like, one time.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

It got so bad that people that weren’t related to me were coming up to me and telling me that you were about to get beaten to a pulp in an alley somewhere.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I don’t remember that.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

You got beaten up so often you’re brain’s more fried than mine.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

And that’s saying a lot.

_________________

Avengers Assemble  

Hawkeye - oh I’ve met the spider guy. Spider-Man.

Hawkeye - he’s cool. He’s a kid but cool.

Captain America’s Bitch - A kid?

Hawkeye - Yeah, I’d guess high school from his voice.

Captain America’s Bitch - My god there’s two of them.

Hawkeye - Of what?

Captain America’s Bitch - Steve.

_________________

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

Like six of the doors in my tower have been pulled off the hinges and the propped up and left there.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

Another one!! WHAT IS HAPPENING

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

My dishwasher. My doors. My window. Why are superheroes so destructive

_________________

I'll break him @stuckyfanOG

The true power couple

images

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @stuckyfanOG

Your mind is so strong

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @stuckyfanOG

No, it’s not!! We’re not a power couple. We’re not a couple period.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

Oh. I see how it is.

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @flying_falcon

What about this?

c556767494a74d7cb154254f7a94f4fe

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Steve_and_Sam_TWS-e1531430263561

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

You wish.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917 and @flying_falcon

bucky-sam-captain-america

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @cptrogers1918

Stop!

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

NO!

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917 and @flying_falcon

7dc546767cbff7b7290d325d31432dcd--anthony-mackie-sebastian-stan

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @cptrogers1918

Man why that one?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

gross.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917 and @flying_falcon

Children.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Anyway, my movie. We go to Steve and I discussing my orders. He is jealous of me and wants to get in, I am trying to convince him that he is a dumbass. Like always. He doesn’t listen.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Only if you’re wearing your uniform.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Kinky. I like it. I’m wearing my outfit, looking swanky. Then we go that fair we went to, the one with Stark. I’m still looking swell while Steve looks like the punk he is.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Uhhh

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Shut it. Then Steve runs off to the enlistment place because he’s an idiot.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Dedicated.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Idiot.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Dedicated.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Idiot.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @cptrogers1918 and @sgtbarnes1917

Do you see what we have to put up with? Day in and day out they act like this. I’m so tired.

_________________

Am I really her? @blackwidow_baby

Oh, the wedding invites just went out.

Blank Print Document

Chapter Text

Twitter Group: Stucky Bitches

Emily (Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan)

Okay, that invite. What’s under the Avengers logo?

Addy (Addy @addddddyy)

It’s gotta be the time and place

Mia (Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers)

Yeah, she hid it so we can’t find out where and when right?

Addy

I’m pretty sure it’s the 19th July, that’s the only one that makes sense.

Emily

Oh yeah, definitely. And I think it’s in the afternoon. First line = ?-In-th-noon

Mia

And it’s in Brooklyn, last line

Mia

Plus it makes sense

Addy

And then it’s 5???? Something Street

Mia

Definitely Street

Addy

I looked it up and there's 985 Streets in Brooklyn.

Emily

Oh. 

Mia

At least we’ve narrowed it down to that?

Emily

Okay, true. I think it’s 5-0-something.

Addy

The font used is Crimson (in italics) so I looked it up and the one that makes the most sense is 50. But with that we only know it starts with 5-0, it could continue.

Screen Shot 2018-11-04 at 9.10.57 PM

Emily

Oh it’s def 50

Emily

OH! It’s 4! 4 in the afternoon!! Look, it’s the only number that could make the 2 lines.

Screen Shot 2018-11-04 at 9.16.00 PM

Mia

And the street name has an ‘i’ in it. And I say this with proof. In the pic, you can see how the pixels aren’t flat because they’re light in colour (compare the I in ‘in’ and the L in ‘July’) Screen Shot 2018-11-04 at 9.13.22 PM

Emily

I think we’ve lost it

Addy

It’s not like we’re gonna share it with anyone.

Mia

We’re not crazy we’re dedicated

Mia

We’ve narrowed it down to about a lot.

Emily

Okay but we know the street as an ‘i’ so that can rule out all the streets with a number instead of a name.

Emily

That leaves us with about 500 streets left.

Emily

Now we just tally up all the streets with an ‘i’.

Mia

I’ll do it.

Addy

Good luck lmao

Mia

138.

Mia

It only took me an hour to count but it’s 138.

Mia

Omfg im gonna kill myself

Addy

You actually did it

Mia

I found a list of all the streets/road/aves/all those little fuckers and command-F’d ‘i’ and then MANUALLY (yes - MANUALLY (like with my fucking fingers and eyes)) counted them all up. Literally clicked through 623 ‘i’s on that page to find those 138. The things i do for James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes and Steven ‘Steve’ Grant Rogers. But honestly, right now, fuck them and this wedding.

Emily

It’ll be worth it when we figure this out.

Addy

We’re not even going to go lol

Mia

Nah but i would like to know

Emily

Same

Emily

So we’ve narrowed it done to 138 streets (thanks Mia) but I think I can narrow it down some more. We know it’s in Brooklyn and there’s no addresses in Brooklyn with more than 50,000 as a number (thanks google maps) so we can guess the address is 2-4 digits. With that in mind, and the spacing used in the other lines. I think the street name has to be 4-6 characters long. Does that make sense to you guys???

Mia

Yeah, it does.

Addy

So we find all the streets that are 4-6 characters and have an ‘i’ and then look if they have a venue fit for a wedding on a ‘5’ number.

Mia

Imagine if the invite was fake lmao

Addy

don’t lol

Addy

Should we also only find street names with an I towards the middle? Seeing as that’s what it looks like.

Emily

yeah, good idea. I’ll take A-F, Mia take G-P and Addy can do Q onwards.

Emily

Good luck.

_________________

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Hey, @blackwidow_baby follow me I gotta ask you something

_________________

Stucky Bitches

Emily

Motivation lol.

Emily

Any luck? I got a few. Amity, Baltic, Bridge, Bristol, Dobbin, Dwight, Ferris.

Addy

Let’s fucking go. Quincy, River, Seigel, Smith, Union, Varick, Vine, White, Willow.

Mia

Haring, Hicks, Hill, Himrod, India, Irving, Irwin, Junius, King, Linden, Little, Louisa, Marion, Mill, Milton, Minna, Nivens, Olive, Oliver, Pine, Prince.

Mia

I had a lot.

Addy

Damn Mia

Emily

Oh shit

Addy

38.

Mia

Okay, that’s better than before.

Addy

The I is clearly in the MIDDLE of the word. Maybe we cut the ones with i’s at the ends out??

Emily

That makes sense.

Addy

So, Amity, Bridge, Dwight, Quincy, River, Seigel, Smith, Union, Varick, Vine, White, Haring, Hill, India, Irving, Irwin, Junius, King, Louisa, Marion, Mill, Olive, Oliver, Pine, Prince.

_________________

@blackwidow_baby followed @Steve_Bucky_Stan

_________________

Stucky Bitches

Emily

WAIT GUYS GUYS GUYS

Emily

Get online RIGHT FUCKING NOW

Mia

She followed back!!!!

Emily

EAH AND I FIGURED IT BITCHES I KNOW WHERE THE WEDDING IS

Emily

IT HAS TO BE

Emily

ASDFGHJKL

Addy

WHAT????

Mia

WHERE

Emily

501 Union Street. It’s a fucking wedding venue that’s booked from 3-12 pm on the 19!! It matches everything.

_________________

Emily made the group. Emily added Addy, Mia and Natasha.

Emily

Uh, thanks for following. We wanted to ask you something.

Natasha

Okay. I figured.

Emily

Are Steve and Bucky getting married at 4 pm on the 19th at 501 Union Street?

_________________

Stucky Bitches

Emily

She hasn’t replied. Why isn’t she replying?

Mia

She’s gonna like, turn up at your house or something.

Emily

She'd turn up at yours as well

Emily

I’m like, legit scared.

Addy

She took the tweet with the invite down

Mia

Holy shit.

_________________

Group: Emily, Addy, Mia and Natasha.

Natasha

Steve and Bucky said that you’re all welcome to come to the wedding. Tony laughed so hard he said he’d pay for all flights/accommodation.

_________________

Stucky Bitches

Emily

OMFG OMDG OMFG

Mia

WWHAT DO WE DO

Emily

I’M LEGIT SOBBING LIKE - FULL ON

Addy

We go.

Emily

Omg

Emily

We can actually go. This is crazy. I’m about to pass out.

Mia

We’re going to meet them at their weDDING

_________________

Group: Emily, Addy, Mia and Natasha.

Natasha

Do you want to come?

Mia

Yes. We do.

Addy

Sorry, this is kinda a lot to take in.

Natasha

I already know where you live (sorry) so I’ll send out plane tickets and all that soon. Are you okay with staying in the same hotel room?

Emily

Omg we get to meet each other as well

Natasha

You’ve never met?

Emily

No, just online friends.

Natasha

Wait until I tell Steve, he’ll cry.

Mia

What?

Natasha

Oh yeah, he’ll be happy that his wedding is bringing people to get together other than him and Bucky.

Natasha

Anyway. We’re having this pre-party thing with photographers and all that, which you’re not allowed to attend and trust me, you don’t want to attend. You’ll meet us at the venue at 4, when the actual wedding will start. After the ceremony, we’re going to have dinner there before going back to the tower for the party. There’s not many people going, even less are going to the after party. But Bucky said that he’d cancel the wedding if you three couldn’t come to all of it (bar the first part) and it wasn’t like Steve was going to disagree.

_________________

Stucky Bitches

Emily

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Mia

I know

_________________

Group: Emily, Addy, Mia and Natasha.

Natasha

Sound good?

Emily

It sounds amazing. Thank you so much.

Mia

And please thank Steve and Bucky.

Addy

And Tony.

Natasha

Will do. See you girls soon.

_________________

Stucky Bitches

Addy

I’m numb to all feeling.

Chapter Text

Breaking News CNN @CNN_Offical

Gunfire heard in the Avengers Tower lobby and 911 called. Stay tuned for updates.

Breaking News CNN @CNN_Offical

Two injured and one dead in the attack. No word from any Avengers.

Breaking News CNN @CNN_Offical

“We saw three guys go into the building with guns as a helicopter landed on the roof. They were speaking Russian or some other Slavic language.” - Tori Brown, witness to the Avenger’s Tower shooting.

Breaking News CNN @CNN_Offical

The total death toll at two. Three injured, one in critical condition.

_________________

A man stands outside the Avengers Tower, a podium and ten’s of microphones in front of him. He reads off a piece of paper in his hands.

I have been sent to talk to you on behalf of Pepper Potts and the rest of the Avengers. At one pm this afternoon there was an attack on the tower. Three men stormed the lobby while ten others got into the living floors. Pepper Potts, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes were the only ones in the building. Mrs Potts and Mr Stark were on their floor where they were left alone. Mr Rogers and Mr Barnes were attacked in their bedroom, they managed to fight for some time, causing seven of the attackers to be rendered unconscious in the fight. At this time both Mr Rogers and Mr Barnes were sedated with an enhanced sedative. Mr Barnes was then taken by the remaining men to the helicopter. Mr Stark and Mr Rogers are working on finding and bringing him home, and the other Avengers are on their way back to New York. Please follow the official Avenger’s Twitter account for ongoing updates. Thank you.

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson

Sam - Steve?

Steve - Yes?

Sam - I’m only an hour out. Are you okay?

Steve - Good. Tony’s got a general idea of where the helicopter went, it’s protected with some high-tech anti-tracers. And Bruce’s working on the sedative that they used. Whoever they are, they’re serious.

Sam - Steve.

Steve - What do you want me to say? The love of my life has just been kidnapped for the THIRD time. I don’t have time to worry about, nor do I care about, my feelings.

Steve - Sorry. That was rude.

Sam - Not really. It’s okay, we’ll get him back.

Steve - I just got him back.

Sam - He’s strong, stronger than any of us. He’ll be okay.

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

Thank you for all the well wishes. The group that took Bucky was just confirmed to be a fringe group of alt-right men.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

What the actual fuck?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I feel like I’ve been kidnapped too many times.

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and James Barnes

Sugar Daddy - Bucky???

Bucky - yeah. I’m alright Stevie.

Bucky - They forgot to take my phone. Not much of a threat.

Sugar Daddy - Are you hurt?

Bucky - No.

Sugar Daddy - Should I believe you?

Bucky - No.

Sugar Daddy - We’re going to get you back.

Sugar Daddy - Promise.

Bucky - It’s what we do, right? Get torn apart but always find our way back.

Sugar Daddy - Yeah, yeah, you’re right.

Bucky - One soul, two bodies.

Bucky - We’ll be okay.

Sugar Daddy - I love you so much.

Bucky - Don’t go saying goodbye.

Sugar Daddy - I’m not.

Bucky - Good. But just in case, there’s a box in Clint’s cupboard for you.

Sugar Daddy - What?

Bucky - Just in case

Bucky - Now. I’m in a cement box, about the size of a coffin.

Sugar Daddy - What??

Sugar Daddy - A COFFIN

Bucky - Yeah.

Sugar Daddy - Why wouldn’t you say that first?

Bucky - Been in worse boxes, this one doesn’t even have ants.

Sugar Daddy - that doesn’t make this okay?

Sugar Daddy - Ants???

Sugar Daddy - nevermind. Is there anything else you can hear or that you know that could help us find you?

Sugar Daddy - Bucky?

Sugar Daddy - Bucky???

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

We have reason to believe that Bucky is okay. We are still working on finding him.

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and James Barnes

Bucky - I’m back. I’m okay. They came back and I turned my phone off.

Sugar Daddy - Thank god. We’ll get you back.

_________________

Avenger Assemble

Captain America’s Bitch - so the guys are American but for some reason are speaking Russian. I can tell because they’re accents are wildly off.

GreatestSpy - Americans doing Russian makes my ears bleed

Captain America’s Bitch - ^^

Iron Man - is that important right now?

Captain America’s Bitch - probably not.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

#fuckcoffins

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Is it too much to ask that I don’t get yelled at? I’m like pretty sure my foot’s broken - I’m not running asshole.

_________________

Avenger Assemble

Captain America’s Bitch - okay. I was taken out again and I can tell you about the guys that have me. But don’t you have some? I know I hit a few pretty hard.

Iron Man - Out of the seven, four died. So we have 2, who aren’t talking. We’re waiting for Nat to get here to get the info out.

Captain America’s Bitch - the other one?

Falcon - Steve got a bit angry and he can no longer help us.

Captain America’s Bitch - oh.

Captain America’s Bitch - so, anyway. They’re not the guys who took me from the tower. All three of them are bald and white. No. 1 is 5 ft 9 and medium build. Pasty as heaven. A small scar (most likely a blunt knife) under his left eye and a tattoo of Jesus punching Hillary Clinton in the face on the back of his right calf. No. 2 is 6 ft 5, super skinny. Like, smaller than Steve when we were kids but hella tall. Has both ears pierced with crosses, he also has simple cross tattoos on the left of his neck, both wrists (the left one says Jesus under it), his right thumb, his right shoulder blade and his left thigh that has ‘he saves’. He has a fancy one on his right thigh. (I think he’s a Christian). And he has a tattoo of me being crucified on his stomach (I’m gonna go with he thinks I’m the new Jesus). He has blue eyes and really thick glasses. The third guy is 6ft, stocky build and very strong, weightlifter type guy. I think he broke my little finger. He has a scar running from his wrist to his shoulder on the outside of his right arm, another one on his chin and a third on his left calf.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

How am I tweeting? I’m back in my coffin (#fuckcoffins) and there is amazing 4G here.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I was watching Star Trek :( Don’t spoil it for me.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

At least the Russians had a decent cell. These guys got a cement coffin.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

But then, like, they haven't stripped me of my humanity as of yet so maybe the coffin’s better

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man - Jarvis is running all the tattoos now, we should be able to get their names in a few minutes.

Iron Man - I should be a detective.

Captain America’s Bitch - Let’s focus on getting me out of here first. My leg is cramping.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Dog food is disgusting.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Hawkeye - they’re making you eat dog food???

Captain America’s Bitch - No. I was reminded of a time I ate it.

Hawkeye - With Hydra?

Captain America’s Bitch - No

Capitan Ass-Merica - when then?

Captain America’s Bitch - Tony dared me to

Iron Man - Let’s not worry about that right now. I’ve figured out who the guys who have you are. One runs a Twitter called @bucky-jesushatesyou.

Iron Man - I don’t think they like you.

Captain America’s Bitch - ya think?

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

The question on everyone’s minds: what song am I going to walk down the aisle to?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

The question on my mind is where are you?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

How sweet.

_________________

Private Message Between James Barnes and Sam Wilson

Bucky - hey how far away from getting me are you?

Sam - we’re doing everything we can.

Bucky - cool, ‘cause they’re planning on killing me tonight just fyi.

Sam - oh god

Sam - what?

Bucky - yeah. Don’t tell Steve. He’ll be worried enough.

Bucky - Also the sedatives they’re giving me makes it so I can’t fight back. I can hardly move.

Sam - I’ll tell Tony. We’ll get you back.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

When i get back i want sushi.

_________________

A reporter stands outside the Avengers tower. There are crowds of people standing on either side of him. Most are talking, creating an ambient noise. The man talks into the microphone.

Fred - Thank you, Mary, I’m here at the Avengers tower where hundreds of people have come to. Some are out her supporting Bucky and the Avengers while there are others who are protesting Bucky. I’m going to ask some of them what they’re thinking. He walks to a man with a handlebar mustache and cowboy hat . Good afternoon, thank you for talking to me today. What’s your opinion on this situation?

Mustache Man - I hope he never comes back. He should of been put down as soon as he came back the first time, the trial was a bunch of beep and nothing more.

Another man comes up beside the moustache man. This man is wearing a full winter coat, everyone else is in t-shirts, it’s very hot.

Cold Man - Oh beep off! Bucky was tortured for decades and you want to hold what he did against him?

Mustache Man - Yes I do!

Cold Man - You soggy piece of bread, you know nothing. Clearly.

Mustache Man - I know more than you, kid.

Cold Man - Even your insults are sad, just like everything else about you. He got a fair trial with a fair and just jury. It’s not his fault you don’t have any comprehension or empty.

Mustache Man - How was it fair if he had Iron Man backing him.

Cold Man - Money wise?

Mustache Man - Yeah

Cold Man - It was against the government. I’m sure they had enough money to get a good lawyer.

Mustache Man - They probably bribed the courts to let him go.

Cold Man - Or they just provided all the facts and the juries weren’t creepy robots with no social skills or empathy like you.

Mustache Man - I have plenty of empathy for people who deserve it.

Cold Man - Bucky deserves empathy.

The three girls next to Cold Man cheer, repeating the sentence. Soon all the supporters are chanting it while the protesters get angrier. They also try to chant but none of them work and they stop after five tries.

Fred - Well there you go, folks, the country is still divided on Bucky Barnes. Back to you, Mary.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Interesting interview with Fred there. Sucks that the guy didn’t like me, his mustache was great.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man - We’re on our way now. You’re in a warehouse about sixty miles north.

Captain Ass-Merica - just hand tight.

Captain America’s Bitch - awesome ‘cause my leg’s hella cramped. Also I hella need a doctor let’s be real here.

Captain Ass-Merica - Can you tell us what’s wrong so we can prep the med team?

Captain America’s Bitch - I don’t know.

Captain Ass-Merica - Your always able to list your injuries. What’s wrong?

_________________

Private Message Between James Barnes and Sam Wilson

Bucky - that man I swear

Sam - what’s wrong?

Bucky - I don’t want to start rattling off my injuries, it’ll freak him out

Sam - he’s already freaked

Bucky - more then

Bucky - just distract him

Bucky - asshole

Sam - I’ll let that rude as tone slide this time, only because you’re in captivity.

Bucky - How kind.

_________________

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

If Bucky dies I’m yeeting myself off the nearest cliff

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Uh, please don’t?

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I wannnnnnnnnaaa go hoommmeeee

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I want to break freeeeeeeeeee

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Someone send me weird facts to entertain me

Angie @fallenangel In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Snails have around 2,600 teeth

Shar @shamer In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Daddy-Long-Legs have a penis which means they’re not like other spiders

YunSpite @spite001 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

The most sold item at Walmart is bananas

Rachel @rachxpeach In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

In 1969 a musician named Jim Sullivan wrote a song about being abducted by UFOs, six years later he disappeared without a trace, they only found his car on the side of a road.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Nice facts. Thanks everyone.

_________________

Avenger Assemble

Captain Ass-Merica - about two minutes out Buck

_________________

Breaking News CNN @CNN_Offical

James Barnes back the Avengers Tower after being kidnapped for five hours.

Chapter Text

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Lmao I just found out why they never noticed me tweeting - they blocked me on Twitter

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

The organised a warehouse, a HELICOPTER, a coffin, and there were like fifteen guys but no one thought to check my pockets.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918

Thank you for all the well wishes. Bucky is home safe and we’re working on bringing everyone who had a part to play in this to justice.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I’m embarrassed that I was kidnapped by them tbh 

Chapter Text

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Me at the warehouse yesterday

BR Coffin

_________________

Private Message Between Sam Wilson and James Barnes

Sam - what a strange thing to joke about

Bucky - yeah

Bucky - all is fair in love and war

Sam - what does that even mean?

Bucky - no idea, just think it sounds cool

Sam - sometimes I worry about you

Bucky - So does Steve

Sam - Makes sense. You’re odd.

Bucky - I thought you were gonna be nicer to me

Sam - Only if you’re in captivity.

Bucky - :(

Sam - Man piss off

Bucky - wow. I am a vet and this is how you treat me.

Sam - Same??? I’m also a vet dumbass

Bucky - lol it works on Tony. He was acting up and I managed to get him to fall in line. I think he’s scared of us or something.

Sam - I don’t believe you

Bucky - He donated like a million dollars to Homes for our Troops a few months ago. He clearly respects us.

Sam - Really?

Bucky - Yup.

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and James Barnes

Sugar Daddy - why did Sam just message me a picture of you with the eyes crossed out?

Bucky - probably because I told him that Tony would fall in line if Sam brought out the army-man card.

Bucky - I also told Clint to do it and he nearly got thrown out a window.

Sugar Daddy - Are you just trying to kill all our friends.

Sugar Daddy - also, army-man?

Bucky - Not yet and yeah.

Sugar Daddy - Yet???

Bucky - I need guests at the wedding.

Sugar Daddy - Bucky

Sugar Daddy - anyway. I think Sam wants an apology.

Bucky - Fine.

_________________

Private Message Between Sam Wilson and James Barnes

Bucky - well done, you fell for the same prank as Clint Barton.

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and James Barnes

Sugar Daddy - really?

Bucky - No.

_________________

Private Message Between Sam Wilson and James Barnes

Sam - I hate you.

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and James Barnes

Sugar Daddy - Bucky.

_________________

Private Message Between Tony Stark and James Barnes

Sugar Daddy 2 - what was that?

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - sam?

Sugar Daddy 2 - Obviously

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - remember Clint?

Sugar Daddy 2 - seriously? He fell for it as well?

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - at least Sam is actually a vet lol

Sugar Daddy 2 - true, true.

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - and it’s not like you don’t respect the army. I just upped how much you were willing to do for us.

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - as in, you’d be willing to stop being Tony.

Sugar Daddy 2 - Rude.

Sugar Daddy 2 - I’m willing to do lots.

Sugar Daddy 2 - see, I’m about to give the VA a whole lot of money

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - oh, I never would have guessed it.

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and James Barnes

Sugar Daddy - Buck.

Bucky - I’m going.

_________________

Private Message Between Sam Wilson and James Barnes

Bucky - Sorry.

Sam - heartfelt

Bucky - Clint nearly died and he didn’t need an apology.

_________________

Private Message Between Sam Wilson and Clint Barton

New and Improved - You really fell for Bucky's ‘tony will give you more respect if you’re a vet’ thing?  

The OG - yeah and so did you.

New and Improved - At least I am a vet?

The OG - Touche

New and Improved - I’m surprised you know that word.

_________________

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

To prove a point (and to be a decent human) I’m sending our Sammy boy back to the VA with a nice sum in his pocket.

_________________

Private Message Between Sam Wilson and James Barnes

Bucky - all part of my plan

Sam - I hate you

Bucky - it really was

Sam - what?

Bucky - yeah, i planned this all. Started when I realised that Tony throws money at things but only if you don’t outright ask him to. I got Clint to do try it so that when you did it he’d be more willing to give money. Hench this happened.

Sam - I’m impressed

Bucky - I got good at scamming people out of money

Sam - with hydra?

Bucky - no. Tony.

_________________

Private Message Between Sam Wilson and James Rhodes

Rhodey - what happened?

Sammy - ugh

Sammy - Bucky happened.

Rhodey - ??

Sammy - I feel for a Bucky scheme, got embarrassed in front of Tony and ended up with money for the VA.

Rhodey - Ah, the ‘Tony falls in line for Army personal’

Rhodey - I wish. Life would be a lot easier.

Sammy - Yeah, it would.

Rhodey - Oh, I’m coming to New York next week, want to go back to Dot’s Pizza?

Sammy - If we don’t go back soon I think Dot’s gonna break into the Tower and kidnap us

Rhodey - Wouldn’t be surprised if she did.

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and James Barnes

Bucky - He’s so mean to me but I still did this for him.

Sugar Daddy - you’re a baby

Sugar Daddy changed Bucky’s name to Baby

Sugar Daddy - it reflects you now

Baby changed his name to Sugar Baby

Sugar Daddy changed Bucky’s name to Baby

Sugar Daddy - you’re not my sugar baby

Baby - :(

Baby changed his name to Bucky

Sugar Daddy - why do you get to have your name but I’m stuck with this?

Bucky - I got Tony to lock your name. Only I can change it

_________________

Stucky News @Stuckynews

Steve and Bucky were just seen leaving the New York Charity ‘Art-Start’ which teaches art to at-risk kids.

Avengers News @AvegnersNews247

Sam, Steve and Bucky are at the New York City Food Bank. They’re helping prepare and serve the food.

Stucky News @Stuckynews

Steve and Bucky we’re just spotted entering the charity SAGE’s headquarters. SAGE is a charity dedicated to helping LGBT+ senior citizens.

Maddie || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

I’m sorry but Steve and Bucky going to SAGE is CRACKING ME UP.

I'll break him @stuckyfanOG In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

I forget that they’re seniors lmao

Maddie || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @stuckyfanOG

They don’t look it, like at all lol

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Thanks. I use Advanced Génifique Youth Activating Serum for that young and vibrant look

Maddie || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @stuckyfanOG

I feel like you just looked up anti ageing creams and copied an add

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

I did not.

Steve ‘More Woke Than You’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

He did.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man - what’s everyone’s opinions on child soldiers?

Captain Ass-Merica - pardon?

Captain America’s Bitch - Why?

Hawkeye - not fun

GreatestSpy - yeah, they’re not great.

Falcon - You are a child tbh

Iron Man - Rude @falcon.

Iron Man - Now I can show this to the Spider kid and he can stop bugging me

Iron Man - “I wanna be an Avenger soooo bad” you are 15.

Captain Ass-Merica - you’ve been talking to Spider-Man?

Iron Man - Yeah. Cool kid, really smart. Hero complex like our boy in stripes here.

Captain America’s Bitch - Mini-Steve

Captain America’s Bitch - not another one

Hawkeye - He wants to be an Avenger?

Falcon - no one in their right mind wants to work with Bucky

Captain America’s Bitch - hey!

Captain Ass-Merica - I do

Falcon - proved my point

Captain America’s Bitch - Sam’s not playing today.

Falcon - No. I am tired of you.

GreatestSpy - You’ve been in New York for half a day.

Falcon - half a day too long

Iron Man - the kids begging to be let on here

Iron Man - b e g g i n g

Captain Ass-Merica - let him on then

GreatestSpy - really?

Captain Ass-Merica - he’s a ‘superhero’ right?

GreatestSpy - Yeah, he is I guess.

Iron Man - I think we’re gonna regret it but here it goes

Iron Man added Peter Parker to the group

Iron Man changed Peter Parker’s name to SpideyBoy

Iron Man - if you’re annoying we remove you.

SpideyBoy - I won’t be. Promise.

Iron Man - well, welcome to the chat. Ignore everything Bucky says.

Captain America’s Bitch - don’t do that.

SpideyBoy -

Falcon - you’ve been typing for ten minutes. You good?

SpideyBoy - sorry. I’m kind of overwhelmed.

SpideyBoy - he’s about to pass out - Ned, his best friend.

SpideyBoy - Sorry! My friend stole my phone.

Captain Ass-Merica - It’s alright.

Hawkeye - Ay! Spider Kid!

SpideyBoy - Hi Mr Clint

SpideyBoy - Hawkeye

Hawkeye - clint

Hawkeye - C L I N Y

GreatestSpy - CLINY OMG

Falcon - you’re never living that down

Hawkeye - damn

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

The world’s not gay enough

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I’m trying to plan a wedding and all I can see are wedding dresses.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

THERE IS NO BRIDE HERE

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

#gay

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Okay. Steve and I are divided on many decisions and I have decided to let you lot decide, my next few tweets will have some pictures and you can like/rt as you see fit.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

If there are any pics with a dame, please ignore her and insert me instead. Thanks.

_________________

Private Message Between Tony Stark and James Barnes

Sugar Daddy 2 - you’re letting the public decide how your wedding is going to look?

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - yeah

Sugar Daddy 2 - why?

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - it’s fun. Plus Steve and I can’t decide.

Sugar Daddy 2 - so you’re letting everyone else choose. Smart.

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - it’s either that or do everything

Sugar Daddy 2 - why don’t you do that?

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - Steve wants it to be lowkey

Sugar Daddy 2 - the president is coming.

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - That’s what I said! He blamed me tho, said he didn’t want him to be there.

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - also he doesn’t want it to be hella expensive.

Sugar Daddy 2 - gross

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - I said that we weren’t paying so who cares

Sugar Daddy 2 - who said I’m paying?

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - you did.

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - you made your name on here Sugar Daddy.

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - why wouldn’t you lol?

Sugar Daddy 2 - lmao

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - yeah

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - thanks by the way

Sugar Daddy 2 - did Steve tell you to say that?

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - I can be polite

Sugar Daddy 2 - but you’re not.

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - touche.

Sugar Daddy 2 - you’re so annoying.

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - Love you too

Sugar Daddy 2 - love you more babe

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Rt for people, like for titles

751ce27dd826c2d39d19bd03d74eebe5 580c35b0ad0297258e816dec3c94d21c

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Rt for the heart, like for straight layers

50faef2b5e546c5ae0ba5ccc4f824dc8 fa8408ca392a8fa0a7f5ca12b06dbab9

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Rt for Polaroid, like for flag

8a16768a86f03cf249603a8851e2acef 348d44ba68eb600dbb63eae994097323

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Rt for gold/wood, like for black

b1d3a1352163888452bc0db449c16eaa 3fa9dd799cea752ef99862c802685b0e

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Rt for candles, like for flowers

ad9ee28e08315aecf5b937ed63647ab9 e6590c503241c64e57ce4eed09335ff7

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Rt for hearts, like for flowers

47005df5c243d6f5b18e62bc8aaff80f 0f356d26a1bd62d447700d62da2d88c6

Chapter Text

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

You separate them for a few minutes and then this happens

63a206f650378a961eb5a19580e74d87

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @arrowboi

Bruh I thought he died

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

What a man

e607ebf86253bcf8b9175cb5623bf35a

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

What a man

0c1084ccc34d11e3112fa58511d05b18

_________________

Rachel @rachxpeach

Just making sure everyone knows that I adore Bucky Barnes. Thanks.

Rachel @rachxpeach In reply to @rachxpeach

STEVE MOTHERFUCKING ROGERS LIKED THIS TWEET

Rachel @rachxpeach In reply to @rachxpeach

I’M DEAD. I’M GONE.

_________________

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

I *messed* up and now have everyone’s search histories. Thanks Jarvis.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man - this is a call out.

Iron Man - I asked Jarvis to delete all the ‘personal’ ones. Which means I have all the stupid ones with me.

Iron Man - @steve and Bucky; why so many Disney movies?

Captain America’s Bitch - we were catching up

Iron Man - And Clint googled ‘is it bad that my leg is wobbly’

Hawkeye - the answer is yes. It means it’s broken.

GreatestSpy - Jesus Christ

Iron Man - Well, Natasha, you googled ‘English word for мучной’ (flour)

GreatestSpy - I was making cookies and forgot how to say flour.

Captain America’s Bitch - you speak how many languages again?

Iron Man - Steve translated ‘горячая задница’

Captain Ass-Merica - yeah ‘cause Bucky wouldn’t stop calling me it

Captain America’s Bitch - it means hot ass bitch

Iron Man - gross.

Iron Man - Sam googled how to not kill my friend's boyfriend

Captain America’s Bitch - Rude. I am his fiance.

Falcon - that’s what’s rude about that?

Captain America’s Bitch - yeah

Iron Man - He just googled how to not kill my friend's fiance.

Hawkeye - I’m with you, Sam.

Captain America’s Bitch - piss off

Iron Man - Clint also googled ‘can I eat dog biscuits’

Hawkeye - I was hungry

GreatestSpy - Jesus Christ

Hawkeye - and you can. But they’re gross.

Iron Man - Wanda does nothing bad apparently. All her searches were the symbolism in ‘Lord of the Flies’ and how Alexander the Great’s Persianness was his downfall.

Iron Man - paraphrased.

Wanda - I was writing essays.

Iron Man - Still boring.

Iron Man - Rhodey spends a lot of time on Twitter.

Rhodey - I like twitter.

Iron Man - while at the base Peter watched 15 minutes of vines??

Captain Ass-Merica - what’s a vine?

Iron Man - no idea.

SpideyBoy - They’re short seven-second videos. And I was waiting for you.

Captain America’s Bitch - I quote vines to you all the time Steve.

Captain Ass-Merica - what?

Captain America’s Bitch - basically every time I say something that makes you think ‘the fuck?’ is a vine.

SpideyBoy - you like vines?

Captain America’s Bitch - who doesn’t.

Iron Man - everyone else in this chat

Captain America’s Bitch - besides Clint and Natasha. And Steve if I showed him some (probably).

GreatestSpy - I don’t like vines. I just know a lot of vines.

Captain America’s Bitch - mhmm hmm

GreatestSpy - fuck off.

Iron Man - Back to the call out posts.

Iron Man - Bucky searched ‘proof of aliens’ on three separate occasions this week.

Falcon - it’s Tuesday dude.

Captain America’s Bitch - I’m not going to apologize for my Quest for Knowledge

Iron Man - Moving on. Steve searched up battles that he was in. I’m guessing to find out if they were truthful?

Captain Ass-Merica - No. I forgot what happened.

Iron Man - Bucky also researched flowers for six HOURS

Captain America’s Bitch - and?

Iron Man - There’s not that many types of flowers.

Captain America’s Bitch - obviously there are.

Iron Man - Sam spent an hour and a half looking for a pizza place

Falcon - I needed a good place to go

Rhodey - We went to the same place as we went last time though.

Falcon - Couldn’t find anything better

Captain America’s Bitch - You guys still go out?

Rhodey - Whenever I’m here.

Falcon - We’re friends.

Iron Man - Clint also searched ‘how much coffee until I die’

Hawkeye - I still think I nearly died

GreatestSpy - he was shaking for about an hour because he drank thirteen coffees in about fifteen minutes.

Captain Ass-Merica - Why did you drink that much?????

Hawkeye - Bucky dared me to

Captain America’s Bitch - No. I dared you to drink more than me.

Falcon - You went up against a super soldier?

Hawkeye - Yeah and I won.

Hawkeye - Who’s laughing now.

Falcon - Still me.

_________________

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

Bucky just got a papercut and Steve nearly threw the book across the room.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Uh - fuck off? It’s my shit???

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

What a MAN

tumblr_pi5jqh8QAY1xa9gnpo1_540

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

What a MAN

winter_s_mind__bucky_barnes_x_reader__ch_7_by_sscejm4a-dahiljx

_________________

Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers

This man could shot me and I’d say thank you

guns_dont_kill_people_he_does

Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers

Shit. He follows me. Delete Delete!

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @MialovesAvengers

To late. I’ve already taken a screenshot.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Weirdos. The both of you.

Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers

At least I’m on the same level as Steve Rogers in something

_________________

Break In At The ‘Captain America’ Exhibit

Written by Geoff Radical

The Smithsonian Institution confirmed that last night at 9:04 pm the Captain America Exhibit was broken into. The Smithsonian Institution also released a list of items that were taken, which includes; one of Steven Roger’s sketchbooks, a collection of ten photos of both Steven Rogers and James Barnes, a hard copy of Brave New World and The Hobbit and series of letters sent from Barnes to Rogers while Barnes was at basic training and when he was overseas during World War 2. The total value estimate of these items is approximately $120,000USD. Usually this would be cause for alarm, however, The Smithsonian Institution have said that they are aware of the thief and have already spoken with him. James Barnes. Yes, that’s right, Barnes broke into The Smithsonian Institution to take some of his own items. He has already commented on the matter, tweeting ‘Uh - fuck off? It’s my shit???’ around twenty minutes after police were dispatched to the Avengers Tower. We are waiting to hear more and to find out what is going to happen to the taken items and to James Barnes. One thing’s for sure, this isn’t a normal break in seeing as the items in question do belong to the thief.

Weigh in with your thoughts in the comments below.

Comments (423)

Steven - He can’t just waltz on in and take what amounts to public property.

Heather - it’s his stuff! It’s not public property at all.

Evan - Imagine having your stuff just, there, but you can’t use it

Theo - He was legally dead, it’s not his.

JD - He’s an entitled asshole who thinks he can just take whatever he wants ‘because he’s fucking Captain America.

Shirley - Yes! JD’s right. He doesn’t just get to take stuff that’s being used.

Eleanor - They’re his things!

Luke - They were stolen from him.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I’m not giving my things back.

The Avengers @avengers

After talking to The Smithsonian Institution and the police it has been decided that Barnes can keep his things. Seeing as they were his, to begin with and were technically stolen from his and Roger’s apartment.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Also, I want that picture Steve drew of himself. He’s naked and no one else gets to see that.

Chapter Text

New York Times

Winter Soldier Trial Tapes Released

Written by Hartiat Roll

Content warning: this content may disturb some readers.

Two years ago today the Winter Soldier trail concluded. This trail was one of the most talked about in American history and had one of the most controversial verdicts the world has ever seen. The trial, for the vast majority, was closed to the public. But, as promised by Steven Rogers and James Barnes just after the conclusion of the trail, some of the tapes have been made public. Along with a statement by Captain Rogers about the tapes.

“Bucky and I talked for a long time about the trial. I was very against a public trail while, at the time, Bucky didn’t have an opinion. While I despised the idea of choosing for Bucky I did make the decision to press for a closed trail. We used the fact that the content was disturbing and deeply personal, luckily we won. Bucky is also happy that it wasn’t a public trial but has agreed to release some of the tapes.

We both understand and acknowledge that the public wants to know why Bucky did what he did - and if he was actually guilty of the crimes. After a lot of discussions between ourselves and the other Avengers and our lawyers, we have decided to release some of the tapes. We needed to take into consideration that some of the information provided is confidential and imperative to take down the remains of Hydra. We also chose the tapes that did not upset Bucky too much, as much as he doesn’t mind sharing his, and mine, life, there are some things that he doesn’t want the public to know. If it seems like the tapes are cut up, or too short, this is the reason why. More tapes may be released in the future. Thank you very much, Steve Rogers.”

James Barnes also released a statement on the matter, tweeting from his official Twitter account ‘when you listen to the tapes, please note that the recorder was really close to me so it picked up my muttering. The only person who could hear me in the room was Steve #superhearingsuperheros’

For everyone who needs a recap and refresher of the trail, we have you covered. The Judge overseeing the case was Judge Hardy. The prosecution was headed up by Top Yale Lawyer, David White and the defence lawyer was Top Harvard Lawyer, Andrew Shore.

Tape 1. Day 1 (Opening Statements), 8:50 AM.

David White : Sergeant Barnes is not someone we can trust. For the last seventy years, all he has done is lie and lie and lie. How do we know that he is not lying right now? He could be lying about what he lied about and we’d never know. We’re here today to decide the fate of a man who has killed some of the most important people in our history and has tried to kill even more.

James Barnes (muttered) : Didn’t mean to.

David White : For the good of the people we need him locked away. We need to find him guilty. For the people whose lives were torn apart because of Sergeant Barnes. How many children no longer have a father because of him?

James Barnes (muttered) : I mean, they still have a father. He’s just dead.

Steve Rogers (muttered) : Bucky! Not okay.

David White : Who knows how the world might have been different if Sergeant Barnes hadn’t done this!

James Barnes (muttered) : What does that even mean?

Steve Rogers (muttered) : I don’t know.

David White : Sergeant Barnes killed without mercy. Why does it matter that he claims he was brainwashed. I’ve never heard of another person being brainwashed before. Are we just supposed to believe him with no hard evidence? I don’t see any Hydra agents here to testify that, yes, they did brainwash him! I don’t see anyone who can talk about Sergeant Barnes before the war and before he worked for Hydra!

Steve Rogers (muttered) : I’m right here.

David White : And I hope that you all, people of the Jury, can see that as well. Now-

Tape 2. Day 1 (Opening Statements), 9:20 AM.

Andrew Shore : Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. You’ve just heard the prosecution's opening statement. Most of which was a blatant lie or is stretched beyond belief. Sergeant Barnes is a man who fought in World War Two for us, he almost gave his life for this country and its people. He gave up seventy years of freedom and instead got seventy years - seven decades - of pain and confusion. Seventy years of no humanity, no mercy, no nothing. He was an attack dog for Hydra.

James Barnes (muttered) : Oh damn.

Andrew Shore : Sergeant Barnes is someone who deserves compassion and care, perhaps more than anyone.

Steve Rogers (muttered) : You’re damn right.

James Barnes (muttered) : Thanks, babe.

Andrew Shore : Barnes had no choice in what happened to him. We know this because of the audio files, the film, the written files, the machines, the brain scans, the state of Sergeant Barnes when he arrived. We can show you these things, we will show you these things. So that when you come to decide if Sergeant Barnes is guilty or not, you’ll see the truth. That he had no control over himself for seventy years. Longer than any of us have been alive.

James Barnes (muttered) : Oh wow.

Steve Rogers (muttered) : Impressive.

Tape 3. Day 1 (Witnesses), 10:09 AM.

David White : It astounds me that you could work for Hydra for seventy years and still say that you didn’t want to. Seventy years is a very long time.

James Barnes : Yeah, I know. And in all fairness, I wasn’t thawed for a lot of it.

David White : You happily joke about it.

James Barnes : I either joke or cry and I don’t like crying. It was beaten out of me a while before you were even born.

David White : Allegedly.

James Barnes : No? It definitely happened.

David White : Do you have proof?

James Barnes : Yeah. Why do you think I’m here?

David White : Because you committed a crime and you’re here to get sentenced for it.

James Barnes : Objection!

Judge Hardy : You can’t object, Sergeant Barnes.

David White : Moving on. I -

Tape 4. Day 1 (Witnesses), 11:34 AM.

Andrew Shore : I’d like to call up my second witness. Doctor Abigail Summer. *a pause and some movement* Dr Summer, you have multiple PhDs in the field of medicine, and you are most well known for your work in neuroscience. Is this true?

Abigail Summers : Yes.

Andrew Shore : In your professional opinion, is it possible for someone to use electricity to control another’s actions? Like in the case of Barnes.

Abigail Summers : Yes, to an extent. Other factors would need to be implemented, like torture or conditioning. But yes, it would definitely work.

Andrew Shore : I submit evidence 3A. This machine *the doors open and something is rolled in* is what was used to electrocute Sergeant Barnes. You had time to examine this before the trail. Sergeant Barnes claims that this machine was used to alter his mind and memories completely. Stripping him apart so that he was no longer a person. Do you think that this machine can do what Sergeant Barnes says that it can?

Abigail Summers : Yes. Without a doubt.

James Barnes (muttered) : Fucking told you so.

Steve Rogers (muttered): *Laughter*

Tape 5. Day 1 (Witnesses), 4:12 PM.

David White : That you for being here today, Dr Alan Mecca. Let us just refresh everyone’s minds because of the break. You’re the psychologist that has been working with Sergeant Barnes since he turned himself in five months ago. You told the jury that, in this time, you’ve never felt unsafe with Barnes. Is this true?

Alan Mecca : Yes.

David White : How can you be sure that it wasn’t the Avenger’s tower that made you feel safe? After all, you would have been surrounded by the Avengers, and I’m sure Captain Rogers was always close by. Plus you had Jarvis and all of Iron Man’s technology. I anything did happen to you, or Barnes snapped or whatever, you weren’t in that much danger. How can we be sure that he isn’t actually dangerous but you were fooled into feeling safe?

Alan Mecca : I went to dinner with him many times, just the two of us.

James Barnes (muttered) : Get reckted mate.

David White : Really? You allowed someone who, in your own words, was psychologically distressed to go out in public?

Alan Mecca : Yes. Because he isn’t contagious nor is he dangerous.

David White : He could have hurt the people.

Alan Mecca : Why would he turn himself in if he planned on hurting people? Nothing in any of our sessions indicated that Bucky was planning on hurting anyone. On the contrary, he was extremely depressed over the fact that he had hurt people. In fact -

Tape 6. Day 2 (Witnesses), 9:08 AM.

Andrew Shore : I’d like to call up Tony Stark as my next witness. *a pause and some movement*. Mr Stark, thank you.

Tony Stark : It’s fine.

Andrew Shore : I only have a few questions for you today. First, were you aware that Sergeant Barnes killed your parents under the influence of Hydra?

Tony Stark : Yup.

Andrew Shore : And how does that make you feel?

Tony Stark : Sucks that my parents are dead, obviously, but I don’t blame Bucky if that’s what you’re asking.

Andrew Shore : No?

Tony Stark : I’m not going to waste time blaming someone who was as much a victim as them when I could be blaming the actual killers. Hydra.

Andrew Shore : When did you find out?

Tony Stark : After the data leak. Steve and I were going through the documents, looking for leads on where Bucky could have gone. It came up, Steve admitted he had a suspicion and had asked Natasha to look for any information on it. We just happened to get there first.

Andrew Shore : But no one else was able to see this?

Tony Stark : Even after Natasha dumped all the files there were some encrypted ones. Mainly about Bucky. We’re working on making them public now. That’s why.

Andrew Shore : And you harboured no hard feelings.

Tony Stark : He turned up at my tower and I let him in. Clearly not.

Andrew Shore : Does it have anything to do with Steve?

Tony Stark : Sure, I trust Steve’s judgement.

Andrew Shore : How well do you feel you know Sergeant Barnes?

Tony Stark : Pretty well, we spend a fair bit of time together.

Andrew Shore : Have you ever felt scared of him? Worried he might hurt you?

Tony Stark : Never. Aside from one time we were playing Wii and Steve beat him. Kidding, obviously.

Andrew Shore : Do you think Sergeant Barnes is guilty of the crimes put forward?

Tony Stark : Nope. *He finger guns at Bucky*.

Andrew Shore : Moving on, let’s talk about Bucky’s arm and -

Tape 7. Day 2 (Witnesses), 5:41 PM.

David White : Captain Rogers, thank you for answering my questions today. I understand that this must have been taxing.

Steve Rogers : It’s not like I wouldn’t.

David White : Well, I guess you would want to try to save your friend. Which, of course, means that you’re emotionally involved with this case. As you’re emotionally involved with Sergeant Barnes.

James Barnes (muttered) : And physically. Bitch.

David White : Mr Shore has tried to undo all the questions I asked you in the preliminary questioning. The two of you have this elaborate story about how you can be impartial in this case when in reality you can not provide facts with emotion. You’reinvloved and yet we’re relying on you - and you alone mind you, to answer all these questions truthfully. For all, we know you could have changed who Sergeant Barnes was complete. Not even he could say if you had.

Steve Rogers (muttered) : If I had my shield.

James Barnes (muttered) : Protecting my innocence babe?

Steve Rogers (muttered) : I’m afraid that I might be trial for murder soon.

James Barnes (muttered) : Nah, he’s not worth it.

David White : Excuse me?

Steve Rogers : I didn’t say anything.

David White : Why should we take your word on things that we can’t prove, like how Sergeant Barnes before and during the war.

Steve Rogers : Peggy Carter will becoming for questioning tomorrow. She can confirm to you everything I just said.

James Barnes (muttered) : This dumb Dora.

Steve Rogers (muttered) : He’s definitely upstage.

David White : Pardon?

Steve Rogers : I didn’t say anything.

Tape 8. Day 3 (Witnesses), 10:23 AM.

Andrew Shore : Mrs Carter, thank you for being here.

Peggy Carter : Of course.

Andrew Shore : It means a lot to both Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes, I’m sure. Now, as you know, you and Captain Rogers are the only people that knew Sergeant Barnes well before today. Which is why we asked you to be a witness as you can confirm or deny what Captain Rogers is saying. I think the first thing we need to ask is, was Sergeant Barnes a good person during the war?

Peggy Carter : Without a doubt.

Andrew Shore : What makes you say this?

Peggy Carter : I can’t count all the times that he risked his own life for someone else's; mine, Steve’s another howlie. A random soldier, citizen. Anyone. Not many men can say that. He cared for others, looked after them like a big brother.

Steve Rogers (muttered) : Big brother.

James Barnes (muttered) : What? You’d rather she said ‘fuck buddy’

Steve Rogers (muttered) : No! And where did you hear that?

James Barnes (muttered) : Natasha.

Steve Rogers (muttered) : Obviously.

Andrew Shore : So do you think that Captain Rogers said anything untruthful when he was on the stand?

Peggy Carter : Not at all.

Andrew Shore : Mrs Carter, you’re very good at what you did. SHIELD is one of the most important institutions in this country, and you started it all those years ago. So clearly, you know safety and threats and the like. Would you say that is correct?

Peggy Carter : Yes.

Andrew Shore : Do you see Sergeant Barnes as a threat to this county?

Peggy Carter : No.

Andrew Shore : To any country?

Peggy Carter : No.

Andrew Shore : To you?

Peggy Carter : No.

Andrew Shore : To the Avengers? To Captain Rogers?

Peggy Carter : No.

Andrew Shore : Well, there’s not much that is a threat to them. So what about the public? To a random citizen walking down the street? Is Sergeant Barnes a threat to them?

Peggy Carter : No.

Andrew Shore : Thank you.

Chapter Text

Tape 9. Day 3 (Witnesses), 8:20 PM.

David White : Natasha Romanoff. Now, no offence, but how can we trust you to tell the truth in this court? You’re a spy who took down SHIELD.

Natasha Romanoff : No. I’m an Avenger who took down Hydra.

Clint Barton : Ohhh, shots fired.

Judge Hardy : Control yourself or you’ll be removed, Agent Barton. Final warning.

David White : Okay, well anyway you phrase it, SHIELD was taken down because of you.

Clint Barton : If she hadn’t done that you’d be dead!

Judge Hardy : Agent Barton-

Clint Barton : I’m goi-

Judge Hardy : Final warning.

David White : You know a lot about Russia, I’d assume.

Natasha Romanoff : Yes. More than you at least.

David White : Did Russia ever brainwash others? Was that something that Hydra actually did to people? You must know the ins and outs of these kinds of these things. I mean, it sounds a bit ridiculous. The idea that a person who was allegedly so kind could be turned into a merciless killing machine, wouldn’t you say so?

Natasha Romanoff : I would say that you’re an idiot. I was brainwashed by the Red Room from childhood to believe what they wanted me to believe. I saw how they used the machine, and how they used conditioning and punishment to keep us both in line. I watched as they whipped him because he looked out the car window when they didn’t want him to. I saw as they locked him in a cage for a week because he took more food than was offered. I had to help my handlers use cattle prods to get him to fall in line during one of his ‘fits’ which were really just him remembering something from before. And I only knew him for three and a half weeks.

James Barnes (muttered) : Jeez that sounds intense.

Natasha Romanoff : So no, I don’t think he’s lying about what happened to him. I would say that you clearly don’t know what you’re talking about and that you need to learn to respect the people who fought for you. Like Sergeant Barnes. That’s all I have to say on the matter.

Clint Barton : Damn!

Judge Hardy : Agent Barton, please leave the room.

Tape 10. Day 4 (Witnesses), 8:31 AM.

Judge Hardy : Mr Shore, your witness.

Andrew Shore : Agent Romanoff, thank you for coming back today.

Natasha Romanoff : I don’t mind.

Andrew Shore : I would like to talk to you about something that you said yesterday. During Mr White’s questioning, you said; “get him to fall in line during one of his ‘fits’ which were really just him remembering something from before”. I would like to talk to you about these fits that you mentioned. Could you explain what they are?

David White : Objection! Relevance?

Clint Barton : How is that not relevant?

Judge Hardy : Agent Barton, behave or I will have you taken out again. Mr White, it’s clearly relevant. Procede, Shore.

Andrew Shore : Agent Romanoff.

Natasha Romanoff : I only saw one, it was when we were learning about America in the red room. We saw a picture of the flag and he, he froze. His handler noticed and stepped up beside him, speaking Russian. Bucky started yelling in English, about Steve -

Steve Rogers (muttered) : Shit.

Natasha Romanoff : - and asking where he was. Our handlers got us to watch from the sidelines as they tried to calm him down. Nothing was working and he punched a handle, knocking him out. He kept yelling about Steve. He tried to punch another handler but some more workers from the red room came in to help. I was, was one of Bucky’s favourite girls, we trained together a lot. The handlers didn’t like it so they made me help them, gave me a cattle prod and told me to subdue him. He was so confused, I didn’t want to but I couldn’t disobey. So I helped them. We knocked him out, he was dragged away. He came back a few hours later with a black eye and would limp when handlers weren’t looking. No one spoke about it anymore but I always remembered it. He was so scared, I’d never seen someone that scarred before.

Steve Rogers (muttered) : Fuck.

Andrew Shore : So, during the fit, he clearly didn’t want to be there?

Natasha Romanoff : Yes.

Andrew Shore : And during the fit, he didn’t know where he was, or who anyone was?

David White : Objection! Leading the witness.

Andrew Shore : Okay. Agent, from what you could tell was Sergeant Barnes aware of who he was with?

Natasha Romanoff : No.

Andrew Shore : And was he aware of where he was?

Natasha Romanoff : No.

Andrew Shore : And then after he came back from the room he was obeying again?

Natasha Romanoff : Yes.

Andrew Shore : And this was triggered by the American flag?

Natasha Romanoff : Yes.

Andrew Shore : Thank you. Let’s go -

Tape 11. Day 4 (Witnesses), 9:07 AM.

David White : Agent Romanoff, just a few questions. You said that Sergeant Barnes was taken away after the supposed fit. Is that correct?

Natasha Romanoff : Yes.

David White : So you don’t know what happened while he was away?

Natasha Romanoff : No, I don’t.

David White : So you don’t know if he was injured in that room, seeing as you weren’t there?

Natasha Romanoff : I do know that he was injured. I know that because of how he appeared when he came back.

David White : Oh?

Natasha Romanoff : He had a black eye, a noticeable limp and blood staining his shirt. He’s a super soldier, do you know how hard you have to punch them for them to grow and maintain a bruise?

David White : No. Do you?

Natasha Romanoff : Yes.

David White : How do you know that?

Natasha Romanoff : I’ve been training with Steve, and fighting with Steve, for two years. I have yet to see him bruise and he once had a car thrown at his face.

David White : Sergeant Barnes and Captain Rogers are not one in the same.

Natasha Romanoff : They’re pretty similar.

David White : How do you know?

Natasha Romanoff : I’ve worked with and fought Bucky. I think I know them pretty well.

Clint Barton (muttered) : Damn son.

David White : And you’re saying they’re harder to bruise than a regular person?

Natasha Romanoff : Yes.

David White : You say that but we have no way of knowing if it’s true.

Clint Barton (muttered) : he’s …. Captain America?

Natasha Romanoff : I could punch you and then Steve and see what happens?

Clint Barton : A good idea.

Judge Hardy : Agent Barton, no. Agent Romanoff, please refrain from threatening the lawyers.

Tape 12. Day 4 (Witnesses), 11:24 AM.

Andrew Shore : I’d like to call up my next witness. Ex-Hydra agent Louis Ryder. He was an agent from 1998 through to the fall of SHIELD and Hydra.

James Barnes (muttered) : This bitch.

Andrew Shore : Mr Ryder, you worked with Sergeant Barnes in 2010 and 2014, is that true?

Louis Ryder : Yes, and 2012.

Andrew Shore : While you worked with him did you experience any of the fits that Agent Romanoff described?

Louis Ryder : Uh, yeah. In 2012.

Andrew Shore : Can you describe it?

Louis Ryder : We were watching the battle of New York, he was kind of just sitting there in this daze like trance. The news anchor said ‘Captain America’ and he snapped to attention, sat there for a few moments like he was deep in thought. We were pretty confused, never seen him think like that before. Then he starts muttering, ‘let’s hear it for Captian America’ over and over again. Then the tv said Steve Rogers and he flipped. Punched the nearest handler, he died actually, and he tried to jump out the window. We sedated him. When we got back into the room he was just laying there and muttering about ‘Steve’ and kept trying to escape.

Andrew Shore : When he had this fit he wanted to leave?

Louis Ryder : Yeah.

Andrew Shore : After you sedated him, what happened?

Louis Ryder : Uh, punishment.

Andrew Shore : And what happens then?

Louis Ryder : We, uh, had stun guns in the bag and a few knives. We used them while he was still paralyzed. When we told our commander he said to bring him back to base so they could ‘wipe’ him.

Andrew Shore : Wipe him?

Louis Ryder : It’s what we did with the electricity machine. It stopped memories and shit.

Andrew Shore : So, torture?

Louis Ryder : They were our orders.

Andrew Shore : In your opinion, did Sergeant Barnes ever act on his own free will?  

Louis Ryder : The only time he acted on his own was when he didn’t kill Rogers.

Andrew Shore : When he rebelled against Hydra.

Louis Ryder : Yeah.

Andrew Shore : Do you believe that Sergeant Barnes was ever at fault? That he knowingly and willingly committed any crimes?

Louis Ryder : No.

Andrew Shore : No further questions.

Tape 13. Day 4 (Witnesses), 1:34 AM.

David White : I’m calling my next witness -beep-beep- to the stand. Miss -beep-, where were you during the battle of the freeway in Washington?

Witness *her voice is distorted but is still audible* : I was in my apartment, overlooking the freeway.

David White : So you could see what was happening?

Witness : Yes.

David White : In your opinion, was Sergeant Barnes operating under his own free will?

Witness : I don’t understand.

David White : Was he, for example, giving out orders or just doing what he wanted to do?

Witness : Yes. He left the other men right at the start, went after Agent Romanoff by himself.

David White : So he was acting on his own free will then.

James Barnes (muttered) : No the fuck I wasn’t.

Witness : I guess.

David White : When the police arrived, he left. Yes?

Witness : Yes.

David White : Seems strange that he ran away when help was arriving, doesn’t it? He could have gotten out of the situation.

Steve Rogers: That’s bullshit! Those men were Hydra and they took Nat, Sam and I to be shot.

Judge Hardy : Captain Rogers, please be seated.

David White : He didn’t know that. Miss -beep-, what do you say to Sergeant Barnes leaving?

Witness : I don’t know.

David White : I need an answer.

Witness : I thought he was a bad guy but -

David White : That’s all I need.

Judge Hardy : Mr White, let her finish please.

Witness : I don’t think that anymore. After hearing all this, I guess it makes sense that he would leave?

David White : You guess?

Witness : It’s what I would have done.

Tape 14. Day 4 (Witnesses), 1:58 PM.

Andrew Shore : Miss -beep-, I would like to bring up what you said before. ‘I don’t know’. It’s a very casual statement for such an intense case, don’t you think?

Witness : Yes. I, uh. Yes, it was.

Andrew Shore : Could you please explain what you meant by it?

Witness : Uh-oh-uh.

Andrew Shore : Let me alobabrate. You were brought in today by the prosecution to try and prove that Sergeant Barnes is guilty of these crimes. Correct?

David White : Objection! Leading the witness.

Andrew Shore : Why are you here today?

Witness : To testify against Sergeant Barnes.

Andrew Shore : But, during the trail, you’ve changed your mind?

Witness : Yes.

Andrew Shore : Why?

Witness : I didn’t know about the brainwashing and torture, or like, Hydra controlling him. I just thought he was a criminal who was fighting with Captain America and then ran away when the police turned up.

Andrew Shore : If you had been presented with the evidence before hand, would you have testified against Sergeant Barnes today?

Witness : No.

Andrew Shore : Is Sergeant Barnes, in your opinion, innocent or guilty?

Witness : Innocent.

Andrew Shore : No further questions.

Tape 15. Day 5 (Witnesses), 9:14 AM.

David White : I’d like to call Sergeant Barnes back to the stand.

James Barnes (muttered as movement happens) : Again? What the fuck.

David White : Sergeant Barnes, how are you?

James Barnes : Peachy.

David White : Really?

James Barnes : No.

David White : Right, well, let’s start then. I’d like to talk about one mission that you went on in particular. The mission in China, 1973.

James Barnes : No idea.

David White : Pardon?

James Barnes : I have no memory of China. Although that does explain why I can speak Chinese.

David White : You have no memory of this?

James Barnes : I don’t. I don’t remember most of my time with Hydra so it’s not surprising.

David White : What a coincidence.

James Barnes: Or it was the lighting helmet I had to wear.

Steve Rogers (muttered and at the same time as James Barnes): Or it was the chair.

David White : Lighting helmet?

James Barnes: Yeah. It’s what it is.

David White : I - suppose.

Tape 6. Day 9 (Sentencing), 10:00AM.

Judge Hardy : Will the jury foreperson please stand? Has the jury reached a unanimous verdict?

Foreperson : Yes.

Judge Hardy : What is the verdict of the jury?

Clerk : The jury finds the defenet, not guilty.

Everyone starts talking at once, it is all inaudible as it is mixed together. Judge Hardy bangs his gavel loudly three times. People settle down.

Judge Hardy : The jury is thanked and excused. Court is adjourned. Sergeant Barnes, you’re free to go.

There is more noise as people start talking again.

Steve Rogers : We did it!

James Barnes: Didn’t doubt you for a second.

Natasha Romanoff : Didn’t matter anyway, I’m sure Steve had several plans in place in case of a different verdict.

Tony Stark : Several is understating it.

James Barnes: That’s a real ride or die.

Sam Wilson : Jesus Christ, I don’t like you at all.

James Barnes : But I’m not guilty! 

Sam Wilson : Doesn’t matter.

Steve Rogers : Come on, let’s go home.

James Barnes: Sounds amazing.

Chapter Text

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

So can yall stop calling me guilty all the time?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

You’ve *some* of the evidence. The rest is basically the same.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Not guilty, baby!

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

This a new series called ‘shit the Avengers’ say. Any time an Avenger says something dumb, it goes here.

_________________

Stucky Wedding @stuckywedding

New Twitter account dedicated to Steve and Bucky’s wedding. News, updates and more!

Stucky Wedding @stuckywedding

This account is run by Emily (@Steve_Bucky_Stan) Addy (@addddddyy) and Mia (@MialovesAvengers)

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Me whenever I see Steve

Screen Shot 2018-12-05 at 7.25.57 PM

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

A love through the ages.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

I never had memes to express my emotions before.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Yeah, we just used words. “I love you Steve” “I love you Bucky”.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

CzmNPZqWEAEoluA

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Wedding’s over.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

superthumb

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Everyone after seeing my pics

Screen Shot 2018-11-21 at 2.09.48 PM

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

I’m so unloved.

_________________

Stucky Wedding @stuckywedding

Steve and Sam were seen shopping for suits in New York. This could be for the wedding but could also be for another event. ~Mia

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Spideyboy - There’s a crazy villain in Queens. Can someone stop him?

Captain America’s Bitch - Clint and I are already heading over.

Captain America’s Bitch - But also, why aren’t you handling it?

Spideyboy - I’m in detention rn

Captain America’s Bitch - Want us to break you out?

Spideyboy - Not really.

Captain America’s Bitch - You sure?

Spideyboy - Actually yes. If I have to watch one more video of Captain America telling me off I’m going to kill myself.

Spideyboy - No offence.

Captain America’s Bitch - No, those things are awful.

Captain Ass-Merica - that’s true.

_________________ 

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

Well done to Harley for getting into all the colleges he applied for. He’s going to do great things!

_________________

Avengers Assemble

GreatestSpy - how’d it go?

Hawkeye - the fight or The Fight™

Falcon - what?

GreatestSpy - both?

Captain America’s Bitch - Fighting the genius man with 100 robots and a death wish? Easy. Fighting the school to let us take Peter with us? Hell.

GreatestSpy - Really?

Hawkeye - It took us longer to get Peter then to fight the dude. The receptionist was not happy.

Captain America’s Bitch - “We can’t let him go with people that aren’t his guardians” “Mrs, we are the Avengers” “you’re not his guardian though”

Hawkeye - You’re missing the best part

Hawkeye - Bucky just goes “we’re the worlds guardian. So we’re Peter’s.”

Captain Ass-Merica - What did she say to that?

Captain America’s Bitch - I got the meanest glare I’ve ever received. Including your mother.

Captain Ass-Merica - My mother was lovely!

Captain America’s Bitch - When she was happy.

GreatestSpy - How did you get Peter out?

Hawkeye - We ran?

Captain America’s Bitch - fast

GreatestSpy - YOU KIDNAPPED A CHILD

Spideyboy - not really

Spideyboy - I saw them running and just kind of

Spideyboy - ran out?

Iron Man - Your school called Aunt May over a dozen times.

Spideyboy - Can I crash at the tower?

Iron Man - No. go home.

Captain America’s Bitch - We can explain what happened to her

Spideyboy - please don’t.

GreatestSpy - Which was the fight and which was The Fight™?

Captain America’s Bitch - Fighting the villain was the fight. Fighting Pam was The Fight™

_________________

Stucky Wedding @stuckywedding

Sam just tweeted about Bucky taking three hours to decide on napkins.

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

STAS (shit the Avenger’s say). Bucky “I’m 20% murder, 40% sass, 40% loving Steve, and 100% gay”. Sam “That’s 200%”. Bucky “I’m the twice the man you’ll ever be”.

The Avengers @avengers

STAS. Clint “Once I get my shit together, get a good night’s sleep, beat my depression, and show up on time, it’s all over for you guys!”

_________________

The camera opens, the image is bouncing up and down. It’s a hallway, three people are walking down it. The image stills slightly, still moving a little. The cameraman is Bucky and he is flanked by Steve and Sam. Sam realizes that he is being filmed before Steve, he looks at Bucky in confusion. Steve also realizes but doesn’t look confused. Bucky smiles at the camera. The three of them turn a corner and then they enter an elevator.

Bucky : Hey everyone!

Sam : You’re a vlogger now.

Bucky : No idea what that is.

Sam : Someone who films their life for the internet.

Bucky : I only film some of my life.

Sam rolling his eyes : You sure?

Bucky : Yes. Thank you. Anyway, I wanted to say thank you.

Steve : What for?

Bucky : All the support I got after the tapes were released.

Steve : You don’t have to thank people for being normal humans with a rational empathic mind.

Sam : Steve’s not playing.

Bucky : No, he’s not. Well, I’m still going to say thanks. To all the people that left me nice notes because I’m a narcissist with the self-worth of a can of tuna. It helps.

Sam : That makes no sense.

Bucky mimicking Sam : That makes no sense.

The elevator doors open and they step out, all in sync. It is the common room of the Avengers tower. The camera shows Natasha, Clint and Tony sitting on the sofas. The news is playing silent in the background

Natasha : So she’s still complaining and I’m just there on my third spider.

Clint : Did she ever shut up?

Natasha : No! What could I do? I finished my spider and threw the knife at her, just beside her head.

Clint : Did that shut her up?

Natasha : No!

Tony : You threw a knife at her and she didn’t even flinch.

Natasha : Basically, yeah. So then I just sat there dumbfounded, this bitch won’t shut up about her baby and me yoga class. I clearly don’t care but she doesn’t stop.

Clint : Did you get the info you needed?

Natasha : Not really. I got a little bit and then she goes ‘I’ve got to go, we’re having Mommy Margarita Monday night. And I have to sit there and try not to punch her because, bitch, it’s Wednesday.

Tony : What happened?

Natasha : She left, I pulled my knife from the wall and came back.

Bucky : Is this LA?

Natasha : Yeah.

Bucky : I doubt she actually knows anything, she seems like the kind of lady to forget anything that isn’t gossip.

Natasha : That’s true.

Tony : Are you filming us?

Bucky : No.

Tony : Turn it off. I don’t look good enough to be on camera.  

Bucky : You never look good enough to be on camera. Yet you’re always on TV.

Sam standing so he is on camera : That’s true, he programmed all the TV’s in the tower to play any clips of him. We can’t escape it.

Tony : Because you need to see me.

Bucky : We don’t want to.

Tony : Says the vlogger.

Bucky : Not a vlogger.

Tony goes to speak but Bucky turns the camera around to show him. Steve has his arm around Bucky’s shoulders and they are pressed up against each other. Both of them wave and the feed cuts out.

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

STAS. Steve sneezes. Bucky “God bless America”. Sam “I am begging you to stop”.

The Avengers @avengers

STAS. Bucky “I have good and bad news”. Tony “Give me the good news”. Bucky “the airbags in your car work perfectly”.

The Avengers @avengers

STAS. Tony “When I say I’m hot, don’t tell me to take my jacket off. This is a look. Basics don’t understand”.

The Avengers @avengers

STAS. Clint “I’m good. I haven’t slept in 45 hours, but I’m good”.

The Avengers @avengers

STAS. Natasha “If someone stabs you, you get to keep the knife”.

The Avengers @avengers

STAS. Bucky “You know what I realized?”. Sam “That some thoughts are better left unsaid”. Bucky “Ha. Nice try”.

_________________

Private Message Between Tony Stark and James Barnes

Sugar Daddy 2 - Yo

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - yeah

Sugar Daddy 2 - Where’s a good place to go on holiday in Europe?

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - Why ask me?

Sugar Daddy 2 - You lived in Europe(ish) for ages.

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - Not really??

Sugar Daddy 2 - Help me out. Pepper and I are going on a holiday and I want to take her somewhere new but still nice. I can’t always take her to a beach resort.

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - Ask Nat

Sugar Daddy 2 - I did.

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - So I’m your second choice.

Sugar Daddy 2 - She told me that she never went anywhere nice. I need you.

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - Sorry to break it to you, but I never went anywhere nice. I, to, was not a tourist.

Sugar Daddy 2 - There must be somewhere

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - Bali’s pretty. Like, the mountains.

Sugar Daddy 2 - we’ve been

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - Steve and I went to New Zealand a few months ago. That’s a pretty cool place.

Sugar Daddy 2 - What did you do?

Defrosted Popsicle Assassin - all sorts. There’s something for everyone there. Plus it’s beautiful and everyone’s nice.

Sugar Daddy 2 - Yeah, okay. New Zealand it is.

Chapter Text

The Avengers @avengers

STAS. Bucky (walking into the living room) “I’m exactly one inch taller than Sam”. Sam (following Bucky) “Well done. You’re a super soldier”. Steve (eating cup noodles and walking behind them) “Bucky didn’t grow with his serum”.

The Avengers @avengers

STAS (continued). Bucky “Some parts of me grew”. Steve “No they didn’t”. Bucky “You’re supposed to be on my side”. Sam “HAHAHA!”. Bucky “Does flying make you feel taller? It must suck being one of the shorter Avengers”.

The Avengers @avengers

STAS (continued). They nearly punched each other.

The Avengers @avengers

STAS (continued). Tony laughs. Bucky “why do the shorter Avengers have suits that fly?”. Tony “Harsh”. Bucky “I only speak the truth”. Tony “Liar”. Steve “We don’t fly”. Bucky “Nothing to prove”.

The Avengers @avengers

STAS (continued). Natasha “Boys”. Pepper “I know”.

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

It’s game night!

The Avengers @avengers

The night of games.

The Avengers @avengers

A gaming kind of night

The Avengers @avengers

A night where we play games

The Avengers @avengers

Gaming mode on

The Avengers @avengers

Games!

The Avengers @avengers

Gaming and stuff

The Avengers @avengers

On the list - monopoly, twister, charades and Cards Against Humanity.

The Avengers @avengers

Game! Night! Bitches!

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @avengers

I am begging you to stop.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Nope!

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @avengers

Someone take out Bucky, please.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Steve takes me out all the time

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @avengers

@blackwidow_baby

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

I’m on my way

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

:(

_________________

Twitter Group: Stucky Bitches

Emily

Natasha’s new handle? I stan a queen

Addy

Ugh I am in love with her

Mia

I love it

Addy

Ho-manoff

Emily

Is it a Christmas reference or a hoe reference?

Emily

Who knows?

Mia

Maybe both

Addy

I stan.

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

STAS. Bucky “One thing I don’t remember is who shaved me when I was at Hydra? Was it an intern? And who decided to give me that weird eyeliner? Someone was just sitting in a meeting about me and just goes ‘you know what he needs? Aesthetic’ How strange”.

The Avengers @avengers

STAS (continued). Sam “You okay?”. Bucky “Right now? I have no emotions”. Tony “That doesn’t sound healthy”. Bucky “I have no opinions either”. Natasha “why did you have eyeliner?”. Bucky “I know! Well, I don’t know but still”.

_________________

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

I’m going to go and scream into the void. Anyone want to come?

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

I’m bringing jelly!

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Captain Ass-Merica - you good there Clint?

Hawkeye - What do you mean?

Captain Ass-Merica - Screaming into the void

Hawkeye - Ohhhh

Hawkeye - Yeah

Hawkeye - I just

Hawkeye - wanna

Hawkeye - ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Hawkeye - you know?

Captain Ass-Merica - No?

Captain America’s Bitch - I got you

Captain America’s Bitch - ahhhhhhhhhhh

Iron Man - I hate you all

Iron Man - but i get it

GreatestSpy - same

Falcon - Okay, homanoff

GreatestSpy - my old one was getting bored

Captain America’s Bitch - I, for one, love it.

GreatestSpy - Thank you.

Falcon - is it for Christmas or are you just stating that you’re a hoe?

GreatestSpy - That’s for me to know and you to ignore.

Iron Man - Hard to ignore

Captain Ass-Merica - You can’t be married and a hoe at the same time

Hawkeye - Tony’s about to get married. He’s still gonna be a hoe.

Iron Man - hey!

Captain Ass-Merica - True

Iron Man - Hey!

Hawkeye - I use the term lovingly

Iron Man - No you don’t

Hawkeye - No I don’t.

Iron Man has removed Hawkeye from the chat.

_________________

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

Aw man

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man - Anyone else have anything to say?

Hawkeye has added Hawkeye to the chat

Hawkeye - You a hoe.

Falcon - What the hell?

Captain Ass-Merica - How??

Captain America’s Bitch - An amazing turn of events

Hawkeye - I hacked the server and added myself back.

Iron Man - What????

Hawkeye - It’s not hard.

_________________

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

The truly intelligent person is one who can pretend to be a fool

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

Shakespeare

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @arrowboi

No.

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @blackwidow_baby

You’re right but the quote stands.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man has removed Hawkeye from the chat.

Hawkeye has added Hawkeye to the chat

Iron Man has removed Hawkeye from the chat.

Hawkeye has added Hawkeye to the chat

Iron Man has removed Hawkeye from the chat.

Hawkeye has added Hawkeye to the chat

Iron Man has removed Hawkeye from the chat.

Hawkeye has added Hawkeye to the chat

Iron Man has removed Hawkeye from the chat.

Captain Ass-Merica - omg stop

Hawkeye has added Hawkeye to the chat

Iron Man has removed Hawkeye from the chat.

Hawkeye has added Hawkeye to the chat

Falcon - my phone is frozen

Rhodey - what the hell is happening here?

Iron Man has removed Hawkeye from the chat.

Hawkeye has added Hawkeye to the chat

GreatestSpy - they’re fighting

Iron Man has removed Hawkeye from the chat.

Hawkeye has added Hawkeye to the chat

Iron Man has removed Hawkeye from the chat.

Hawkeye has added Hawkeye to the chat

Captain America’s Bitch - what happened to the good old days of street fighting?

Iron Man has removed Hawkeye from the chat.

Iron Man - fuck off

Hawkeye has added Hawkeye to the chat

Hawkeye - never

GreatestSpy has made herself admin

GreatestSpy has removed Hawkeye

GreatestSpy has removed Iron man

GreatestSpy has closed the group

Falcon - Oh thank god.

Captain America’s Bitch - Thank you.

GreatestSpy - someone strangle Tony. I’ve got Clint

Captain Ass-Merica - On My Way!

Falcon - Very cheery for murder

Captain Ass-Merica - Damn autocorrect

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

STAS. Sam “very cheery for murder”

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @avengers

Doesn’t count, it was typed.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @flying_faclon

It counts

_________________

Alex @Alex99

I love this photo set of Steve and Bucky. Like what happened?

1e60fc315d4dcd031294d15c51d71575

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Alex99

We were taking a photo, the photographer just goes “Steve, you look like you failed pre-school right now. Not really the righteous image we’re after.” So, obviously, we both just crack up. Steve tries to deny it but our assistant goes “he’s right Steve”. Steve’s pointing at her in the last pic.

Alex @Alex99 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

That’s so much better than what I was expecting

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Alex99

It’s a day I won’t forget.

Chapter Text

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Merry Christmas!

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

And happy holidays! 

Chapter Text

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

And a happy new year!

 

Screen Shot 2018-12-23 at 4.02.06 PM

Chapter Text

LeLe @redwhiteandlou

Okay, but why are Steve and Bucky not married yet?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @redwhiteandlou

Because the author doesn't know how to plan a wedding.

LeLe @redwhiteandlou In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

???

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @redwhiteandlou

It’s me. I’m the author.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

It’s alright everyone, he’s just having a little breakdown.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Steve doesn’t understand.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

We’re fighting over napkins. N A P K I N S

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

IT’S IMPORTANT

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

NO, IT’S NOT

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917 and @cptrogers1918

Oh no. It’s happening again.

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

STAS. Bucky “stop moving to the middle of nowhere. You know why horrors aren’t set in the city? Because weirdos aren’t in the city”. Steve “you sure?”. Bucky “yes”. Steve “what about that guy that threw his flower pot at us?”.

The Avengers @avengers

STAS continued. Bucky “uh, no, he threw it at me. Don’t take away my haters Steve. And that’s not the plot of a horror movie”. Natasha “a guy once followed me for an hour”. Sam “a spy or?”. Natasha “no. Just a creep”.

The Avengers @avengers

STAS continued. Bucky “okay, that could be a horror. Point taken”.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man - Parker, get a superhero twitter.

Spidey boy - I have a twitter

Iron Man - not one we can follow.

Captain America’s Bitch - if we all followed a random kid from Queens it would look a little weird. Let’s be honest.

Spidey boy - Oh

Spidey boy  - But you do...

Captain America’s Bitch  - Stop proving me wrong and get a superhero twitter 

Spidey boy - Alright. I will.

GreatestSpy - Cool. Follow for a follow

Hawkeye - you’re such a dork

GreatestSpy - and?

Hawkeye - and I love it

_________________

49307683_2233824113560071_4178133890512191488_n

49937671_223078755264265_2655237610900815872_n

_________________

Spider-Man @spiderman

No, I can’t talk to spiders. Thanks for asking. Now please stop asking.

_________________

Peter P @pparker

Thor is clearly the best Avenger

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @pparker

Rude

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

No, let him speak

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

???

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

He’s right and he should say it

Peter P @pparker In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Thanks, Bucky

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @pparker

You’re welcome

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

STAS. Sam “I feel like Steve was just a chihuahua with anger issues back in the day”. Bucky “no, chihuahuas can bite. Steve was an angry caterpillar or something equally as soft and useless”. Steve “what the hell Bucky?”.

_________________

James Barnes is sitting opposite Julie Wag, his attire is casual and his metal arm is fully on display. He looks relaxed as the crowd cheers for him, he smiles at them and waves a small wave. The cheering increases. Julie Wag gets the nod from her production manager and she settled the audience. It takes a while, however, as they keep starting to cheer again whenever James Barnes moves. After some time she manages to get everyone quiet so she can start the interview.

Wag Well, I think we can say everyone is excited to see you.

Barnes I guess so. And, let me say, I’m happy to be here.

Wag How have you been?

Barnes Good, planning a wedding and saving the world, what about you?

Wag Good, I’ve been talking to famous people.

Barnes See, that’s the job I want. I feel like your chance of death is lower.

Wag I don’t know, ever seen an angry celebrity?

Barnes Okay, that’s fair.

Wag Now, before we get to the fun stuff, let’s go serious. This is your first interview after the tapes were released, so can we talk about that?

Barnes Sure.

Wag Did you want to share them?

Barnes It really didn’t bother me. It probably bothered Steve more, to be honest, he was worried I would be upset with the breach of privacy. At the time of the trail, like we said, I didn’t care. I was just coming back to myself and privacy wasn’t a major issue we were working on. But I am glad I had a closed trail now. And because I chose which tapes we put out I didn’t mind it.

Wag Who’s idea was it? Yours or Steve’s?

Barnes Uh, the PR team. I think? Steve came to me one day with the idea. It took us ages to figure out the logistics of it all.

Wag And you chose the tapes you wanted to be shown?

Barnes The ones where I look the best.

Wag The important ones then.

Barnes Exactly. No, we did it because there were a lot of questions, and we wanted to answer some of them. We won’t answer everything and I still have lots of questions myself but it’s a start.

Wag It’s impressive you even agreed, I wouldn’t have.

Barnes If they hate me, they hate me. The tapes wouldn’t change minds.

Wag Now, that’s all out of the way. Let’s talk Avengers gossip; who’s fighting with who?

Barnes laughing Uh, Steve and I? I’m angry at him.

Wag What happened?

Barnes Before the war, he was sick and wasn’t supposed to get out of bed, and yet I came home from work and there he was. Not in bed. The ass gave me a heart attack.

Wag You’re fighting over something that happened nearly a hundred years ago?

Barnes Absolutely.

Wag Alright, it’s one way to fight. Now, forgive me, but it still makes me laugh that you were together all this time and we didn’t know.

Barnes Makes me laugh that Steve and I were able to pull the wool over everyone’s eyes for so long. We’re so lovey-dovey. The others call it gross.

Wag Gross?

Barnes Especially Sam. Always complaining, ‘Bucky, get off Steve’s lap. We’re eating!’ ‘Stop making out in the living room you animals!’ No, leave us alone.

Wag Making out? Are you 16?

Barnes We were making out long before we were 16.

Wag Really? How old were you when you started dating? Because as much as we know about you now, we don’t know anything about before.

Barnes We kept it quiet back then, self-preservation and stuff. And honestly, I don’t know when we started. Like, when we kids. I remember my mum saying that I was going to grow up and get married and I replied that I was going to marry Steve, she laughed but told me not to say that kind of thing around others. I was so confused because I knew I loved Steve and that when you love someone you marry them. I was probably six?

Wag That’s pretty cute.

Barnes I guess. Kinda sad I don’t remember our first kiss, but neither does Steve. We also don’t have an anniversary. We never did. We just were happy.

Wag And you had to hide that.

Barnes We were six and seven when we were first teased about it. And then a neighbour was found in an alleyway a few days later. We figured out that we needed to keep it hidden then.

Wag You kept it hidden from seven to a hundred?

Barnes Yup.

Wag That’s impressive, I couldn’t. I’m the worst at keeping secrets. Did Hydra know?

Barnes Pardon?

Wag Did Hydra know about your relationship with Steve?

Barnes Uh, I don’t know. Doubtful because I didn’t.

Wag So sad.

Barnes Yeah. It was.

Wag I’m sure they would have used it against you if they did know, so I’m sure they didn’t.

Barnes They used Steve against me. I just don’t think they knew how much I loved him.

Wag Really? Let’s hope next time they don’t use him.

Barnes Pardon?

Wag You know what I mean.

Barnes I don’t think I do.

A security guard comes onto the screen, pulling Barnes up and away from Wag. Wag starts screaming about heads and vengeance for the lost. The feed cuts out as the audience screams and start to run out of the room. Police officers are seen coming in just as the screen cuts out. The audio is still there for a few more moments, it is clear that Wag is a member of Hydra and is being arrested.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

What the actual fuck?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

There I was, thinking about how cute Steve was, and then I nearly died!

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

You didn’t nearly die, stop being dramatic.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Captain America’s Bitch - dude.

Captain America’s Bitch - Calling me out

Captain America’s Bitch - it was TRAUMATIC

Falcon - you had a near-death experience on Monday - when we were being shot at. This was nothing!

Captain America’s Bitch - I get shot at all the time! A host of a celebrity gossip b-rated TV Show trying to get me killed? Doesn’t happen all that often if I’m being honest. That’s why it was a near death experience and the others weren’t.

Iron Man - did anyone else see their life going this way?

GreatestSpy - two grown men bitching about near-death experiences? No. Children don’t even do that.

Captain America’s Bitch - Only weird kids.

Captain America’s Bitch - And I didn’t bitch when I was with Hydra, I’m free to do that now because I blah blah

GreatestSpy - Did you just type blah blah?

Captain America’s Bitch - at least I got the first part.

Captain Ass-Merica - it is the important part.

Captain Ass-Merica - If Bucky wants to bitch about near-death experiences because of a host on a gossip b-rated TV Show he can.

Spidey boy - Do we, like, have to agree because of trauma?

Captain America’s Bitch - You should respect your elders

Captain America’s Bitch - but no. You don’t have to. Because we all have trauma that’s valid and something

Captain Ass-Merica - You should listen to the second half of whatever Holly is saying

Iron Man - who’s Holly?

Captain America’s Bitch - therapist

Iron Man - I thought you were using Fred

Captain America’s Bitch - Didn’t like him anymore

Iron Man - That’s like, your tenth therapist this month????

Captain America’s Bitch - I want to find someone good that laughs at my jokes

Iron Man - You’re not funny tho

Captain America’s Bitch - I feel judged

_________________

49393488_1054286881421276_3569118617544949760_n

Badass Disney Princess @shuri

Peter, you’re being rude. My memes are amazing

Peter P @pparker In reply to @shuri

They’re not

Badass Disney Princess @shuri In reply to @pparker

Americans

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

STAS. Steve “If I ran the world it’d be great”. Bucky “you’d probably make us all run”.

_________________

The Avengers Are a Menace to the City | Written by CNN correspondent Louie Lama

Why is it that we’re forced to sit through article after article about how the Avengers and all their little hero friends are helping us. Since the beginning of the Avengers, the world has been a more dangerous place. The battle of New York, The Winter Soldier, Aldrich Killian and all the other small-time villains that terrorize the world and America. We also have to sit here as they act like celebrities. Going to TV shows, doing interviews, tweeting like we care about them. Why are forced to act like they’re good people that care about us? I, for one, am sick of them and everything they stand for.

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby

I mean, that wasn’t our fault. If we hadn’t come together then no one would be alive?

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Like, also, we get asked to do the interviews. We’re not forcing ourselves on the public.

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @arrowboi

We’re literal spies

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I think I’ve sorted out the vast majority of the reception for the wedding.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I have so many ideas

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

And only one wedding

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I might have to leave Steve at some point so I can get married again

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Or we could just get re-married?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Not as fun

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Actually, you’re right! I love you!

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Love you too!

Chapter Text

Avengers Assemble

Spidery Boy - Hey, Mr Captain America? Can I ask a favour?

Iron Man - say no

Captain Ass-Merica - sure

Captain Ass-Merica - don’t tell me what to do, robo man

Spidery Boy - can we go to the zoo, and using your general standing in the world, can you get me into the elephant enclosure?

Iron Man - no

Captain Ass-Merica - I’m intrigued

Captain Ass-Merica - why

Spidery Boy - I want to see if I can lift it

Captain America’s Bitch - No. Absolutely not.

Captain Ass-Merica - Definitely

Rhodey - what?

Spidery Boy - I can lift heavy things so I wanna hold an elephant

GreatestSpy - what is happening here???

Captain America’s Bitch - He took my phone

Captain America’s Bitch - This is Steve.

Captain America’s Bitch - No. We’re not going to the zoo.

Captain Ass-Merica - I’ll take you and we can find an employee that likes me.

Iron Man - Bucky no

GreatestSpy - Give your phones back to each other

Captain Ass-Merica - We’re not going to the zoo.

Captain America’s Bitch - This is bullshit

Hawkeye - I’ll take you

Falcon - same

Falcon - and people like me more than Bucky so I have a better chance of getting in

Captain America’s Bitch - A) Bitch B) Steve needs to lighten up

Iron Man - I will buy the zoo to stop this if I have to

Captain America’s Bitch - C) and apparently Tony does as well

Hawkeye - Can’t buy all the zoos

GreatestSpy - I’m in extremely good standing with one zoo in Latvia, they have elephants and don’t respect Stark.

Iron Man - What the fuck

Iron Man - I mean, rude

Iron Man - but more importantly

Iron Man - what the fuk

Hawkeye - Oh, the place with the underground tunnel?

GreatestSpy - That leads to the president’s house. Yup.

Falcon - Why does a zoo have an underground tunnel to the president’s house?

Hawkeye - I think he fucked the goats

GreatestSpy - He liked zoos

Hawkeye - (he fucked the goats)

GreatestSpy - He didn’t fuck any goats

Hawkeye - You don’t have proof of that

Captain Ass-Merica - What is happening

Pepper Potts - I

Pepper Potts - Why?

_________________

Stucky News @stuckynews

Bucky and Sam seen at New York zoo with an unidentified teenager

Stucky News @stuckynews

(Mod comment) what the fuck are they doing?

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man - NO

Captain America’s Bitch - They said no :(

Falcon - To Latvia

GreatestSpy - Cool

Hawkeye - We can find out if he fucked the goats!

GreatestSpy - He died a long time ago

Hawkeye - So did Cap but we know way too much about his sex life

Captain Ass-Merica - Rude

_________________

Breaking News CNN @CNN_Offical

New history books that have just been released to public schools in New York and California that include Sergeant Barnes and Captain Roger’s relationship status.

#TruckLife @Hank101 In reply to @CNN_Offical

Why’d they even have to include it? It’s disgusting that we’re discussing this with children.

Bush Babe @silverlights In reply to @Hank101

They included Steve and Peggy’s ‘relationship’ for years

#TruckLife @Hank101 In reply to @silverlights

That’s different

Bush Babe @silverlights In reply to @Hank101

How?

#TruckLife @Hank101 In reply to @silverlights

I don’t have to explain it to you.

Bush Babe @silverlights In reply to @Hank101

@Hank101 is homophooooooooobic

#TruckLife @Hank101 In reply to @silverlights

No. I just think it’s gross, immoral, wrong and that we shouldn’t be showing it to children

Bush Babe @silverlights In reply to @Hank101

You’ve got to be kidding

#TruckLife @Hank101 In reply to @silverlights

I’m not.

Bush Babe @silverlights In reply to @Hank101

Oh. That’s sad

#TruckLife @Hank101 In reply to @silverlights

No. It’s sad that an American hero is fucking another man

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and James Barnes

Sugar Daddy - No. Absolutely not

Sugar Daddy - Bucky, I’m serious.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Hank101

Don’t worry Hank. He doesn’t fuck another man.

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and James Barnes

Sugar Daddy - I

Sugar Daddy - Bucky

Sugar Daddy - Why

Bucky - Because he’s

Bucky - What did Bush Babe say

Bucky - homophooooooooobic

_________________

Aspire to be @astro

The news: The Winter Soldier is a 100-year-old dangerous assassin with multiple confirmed killings of important political leaders. His arm is bulletproof and he could kill you with one pinky.

Us: A baby. My baby.

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @astro

Wow. You just summed up Steve Rogers in one tweet

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

STAS. Bucky “I fucking hate the word moist. It doesn’t deserve word status”. Clint “word”. Bucky “and yet, I manage to hate you more”.

_________________ 

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man - tell them what you did

Spidey Boy - I was injured

Iron Man - How?

Spidey Boy - Working

Iron Man - Jumping into action without thinking! You went up against someone three times your size without your suit

Captain America’s Bitch - ah

Captain America’s Bitch - you have a case of the Steves

Captain Ass-Merica - the what?

Iron Man - Bucky. No offence. But please stay out of this. Your advice is always strange

Captain America’s Bitch - Hmmm well. Who here has years of experience dealing with a kid who thinks he can save the world with no regard for personal safety?

Captain America’s Bitch - That’s what I thought.

Captain America’s Bitch - Now. Peter. Call for backup, don’t get beat up in an alley, don’t fight people who are bigger than you.

Spidey Boy - You fight with Captain America all the time and he’s bigger than you!

Captain America’s Bitch - Well first off, rude and I’m hurt. Steve isn’t that much bigger than me. And it’s only because I got the knock-off nazi version of his special juice. Second, I can hold my own in a fight against Steve. Three, I know he won’t kill me. Fourth, I only fight about important things.

Iron Man - Do you honestly believe that how to pronounce ‘pronounce’ is a more worthy fight than fighting against guys who want to end the world?

Captain America’s Bitch - Because I am well aware that someone on this chat is just going to tell the world what I said, I’m going to say no.

Iron Man - What the fuck

Captain America’s Bitch - ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Iron Man - you had that so fast

Captain America’s Bitch - that one and this one: (ง'̀-'́)ง are saved on my phone

Captain Ass-Merica - This is the man who I’ve fallen in love with

Captain America’s Bitch - Why’d you phrase that like it was a recent development?

Captain America’s Bitch - We’ve been in love for, like, a while

Captain Ass-Merica - ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Captain America’s Bitch - I gasped

Captain Ass-Merica - he did

Iron Man - are you together right now?

Captain Ass-Merica - Yeah

GreatestSpy has removed Captain America’s Bitch from the chat

GreatestSpy has removed Captain Ass-Merica from the chat

Falcon - thank god

GreatestSpy - call me Natasha

Falcon has removed GreatestSpy from the chat

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

STAS. Bucky “It amuses me to no end that Steve ‘fuck the system’ has become the embodiment of following the rules and listening to his superiors because the thing he did that made him become captain was legit doing the opposite of what his CO told him to do.

_________________

Twitter Group: Stucky Bitches

Emily (Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan)

BITCHES

Emily

GET HERE RIGHT NOW BEFORE I FUCKING OFF MYSELF

Addy (Addy @addddddyy)

jeez

Mia (Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers)

You good?

Emily

No!

Emily

You know how my cousin Percy is in NY rn?????

Mia

Yeah

Emily

She fucking saw STEVE AND BUCKY

Addy

Holy SHIT
Emily

I’m gonna send you the message she sent me because hot damn it’s good

Addy

I am so fucking ready for this

Emily

‘Okay, so I was standing in a starbucks, waiting for my coffee, when the door opens. It’s Steve and Bucky but they’re like in jumpers and shit, no one notices them. I do because two hot men? My radar picks up. So they see me looking at them and Bucky holds his finger up to his lips in like a ‘shhhh’ thing. I’m frozen because OH MY GOD. Steve lowkey waves at me and they go up to the counter. I lowkey moved closer to hear them because I’m trash for these white bois. Anyway Steve orders a black coffee and Bucky scoffs at it before asking for the barista’s favourite with an added shot of vanilla. He then turns and looks straight at me and says “you have so much sugar now. We never had sugar. I’m taking my turn” and what do you say to that because HE”S TALKING TO ME. Steve scoffs. “Sugar isn’t even that nice.” Bucky lowkey looks angry and then goes “this is why we’re not married.” Steve goes “we’re not married because Bucky’s a drama queen” so then I just fucking lose all control of my brain and go “my cousin is going to your wedding” and they look shocked because I look crazy. So I try to fix it by explaining how you got it and Steve just goes “oh. Emily, Addy and Mia, right?” So I nod like a dumbass because HE KNOWS YOUR NAME. Bucky’s nodding along and my name is called but literally I had forgotten everything at this point so I don’t react.’

Emily

‘And then Steve’s order is called out and, he grabs his and mine, giving it to me. I’m ready to die. So I just kinda go ‘thank?” ??????? I’m about to stab myself, right? But anyway, Steve goes to the straw bar thingy and on the way just fucking kisses Bucky on the cheek and it was the softest thing I have ever seen. It was just so pure. Like, a soft little thing that looked so normal for them. Like they do it all the time or something. Then Bucky gets his drink, takes a sip and shakes his head muttering to Steve “I don’t like it”. Steve shrugs and asks if he wants to go to the next one over and Bucky agrees. Clearly, I look dumbfounded because Bucky laughs, kinda nervously, but like he’s still a god. He goes “I like to try other people’s favourites.” Steve takes a sip of his and doesn’t even react. Then Bucky just takes Steve’s, dumps a shit ton of sugar into it, and tries it. Steve sighs and shakes his head, “he does this every time and now he hands it back,” Bucky does. “I don’t like it with sugar.” So like an idiot I go “I do” and so Steve just fucking hands me the cup and tells me to take it. In return I hand over mine and Bucky’s like ‘yup, I like it.” Then Steve just fucking hands me a 20 like an actual grandad and they leave. When they walk it - it’s the cutest - Bucky complains about the cold and Steve just fucking instantly wraps him up so they’re cuddled up and they just walk away.’

Addy

I don’t

Addy

Oh my god

Mia

I’m so used to giving

Addy

I could die happy rn

Mia

I’m actually crying in the club

Addy

I’m crying in my bed

Emily

I’ve been crying since I read it

Addy

I don’t even

Mia

Let me scream real quick

Addy

Know how to deal with this

Addy

Oh my god

Addy

My heart has both broken and been mended with the love

Emily

Could you imagine loving someone so much?? Or being loved so much

Addy

No

Mia

Nope

Emily

I would die

Mia

So sweet

Mia

Just amazing

Emily

AND THEY KNOW US BY NAME

Emily

LIKE THEY REMEMBER US AND SHIT

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Yes. All the photos on my phone are pictures of Steve (both nice and odd of course) or Avengers memes.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Why would I want anything else? Or need anything else, let’s be honest.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I have a picture of Steve for every occasion!

_________________

Eliza @elizaH

Honestly? Fuck America

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @elizaH

I did

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Oh

Chapter Text

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

cap 1-9

I’m feeling very Steve number 4 right now

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

buck 1-9

I’m feeling very Bucky number 2 right now

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Did you just make that?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

With pictures of my phone

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

That’s true love

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Awww

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I’m feeling Bucky number 1 now

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Babe! I’m very Steve number 6

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @cptrogers1918 and @sgtbarnes1917

This is why we kicked you out of the group chat

_________________

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby

Holy fucking shit

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby

No words to describe this

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby

Bucky was being choked by bad guy #78, as is common in our line of work, and Bucky just goes ‘harder daddy’ in this weird half whisper and disposable bad guy (justifiably) drops him onto the street and fucking walks away.

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby

Bucky had the most shit eating grin I’ve ever seen in my life when he stood up

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby

And Steve looked so disappointed

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby

Fuck sakes

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby

How do you come back from that? How do I get that image out of my mind? I never want to remember this moment ever again

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby

Harder daddy

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby

That’s what he said

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby

HARDER DADDY

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby

I - I don’t like it

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby

ALso! I don’t like that it worked. It shouldn’t have worked. That’s unfair.

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Nat is glaring at her phone so hard right now

_________________

Stucky Wedding @stuckywedding

Steve and Bucky were seen at a wedding cake shop earlier today. 

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Cakes just aren’t what they used to be

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

We were planning on making our wedding similar to 1930’s weddings, ‘cause then when we wanted to get married. But the style was just so bad.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

“Grooms had a very specific style during the ‘30s, which included felt hats, patterned or striped ties, and suit features that allowed them to look bigger than they were, such as shoulder pads. Moustaches were also incredibly en vogue during this era.”

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

That sounds awful

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

So, uh, it’s gonna be influenced by the 20/30’s

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Also, I want it to be hella fancy and the 20/30’s weren’t exactly fancy

Mavis @mavisD In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

But like, the ’20s were so fancy!

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @mavisD

Uhhh not for like the majority of us

Mavis @mavisD In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Great Gatsby??

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @mavisD

Steve and I weren’t rich. We hardly had anything. Most of the ‘20s was our parents struggling and then the ’30s were us trying to survive with just me working. It wasn’t fancy it wasn’t even easy.

Mavis @mavisD In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Well according to 10th-grade English you’re wrong

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @mavisD

Are you aware that poor people exist?

Mavis @mavisD In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I’m not an idiot.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @mavisD

Right. So you understand that Steve and I, and everyone we knew, were poor and weren’t living the high life. I never even meet a flapper.

Mavis @mavisD In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Why weren’t you rich tho?? Steve’s Captain America

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @mavisD

He wasn’t???

Mavis @mavisD In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

What do you mean?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @mavisD

He was just Steve for like, the majority of his life?

Mavis @mavisD In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Huh. Weird.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @mavisD

Yeah, that’s what weird about this conversation

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Captain America’s Bitch - what is happening right now

GreatestSpy - I was following along in confusion

Hawkeye - did she not know that poor people were around?

Captain America’s Bitch - It was the great depression. Everyone bar the 1% were poor. It’s pretty common knowledge.

GreatestSpy - And she thought Captain America was always around?

Captain America’s Bitch - Could you imagine baby Steve being a superhero

Captain America’s Bitch - it’s a weird image

Hawkeye - This entire thing is weird

GreatestSpy - she really tried to use the Great Gatsby as a reference when you lived through it

Iron Man - the school system is not very good

Hawkeye - no, it’s not good.

Falcon - lmao I just saw it

Falcon - ‘are you aware that poor people exist is probably my favourite quote from you

Captain America’s Bitch - I’m not poor now (💸) but I was very poor

Falcon - Why’d you use the emoji?

Captain America’s Bitch - who me? I’m just an old man who doesn't know hoe to use a phone

Captain America’s Bitch - how*

Captain America’s Bitch - See what I mean?

Falcon - Dude

Captain America’s Bitch - Yea

Falcon - I hate you

Captain America’s Bitch - you’ve said that so many times it no longer means anything to me.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Currently working on the playlist for the wedding

_________________

Green Bean @starpapa

Yo @cptrogers1918 are you good with Bucky planning the wedding

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @starpapa

Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Thanks, babe

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

STAS. Sam “Hey, Steve, dare you to-” Bucky “Steve is banned from dares right now”. Clint “Why?” Bucky looks at Steve. Steve “because I have no sense of personal safety.” Bucky “We’re working on it”.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Too much music in the world.

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Avengers Assemble

Falcon - The message got lost somewhere. All I’m saying is that little things are always angrier than big things. Maybe it’s because they have less space for their rage or something like that.

Rhodey - give me one example

Captain Ass-Merica - wasps

GreatestSpy - spiders

Wanda - Chihuahuas

Hawkeye - any little dog

Spidey boy - stinging ants

Pepper Potts - jellyfish

Bruce Banner - Crabs

Captain America’s Bitch - Tony

Iron Man - :(

Chapter Text

Bucky

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Sam

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Rhodey 

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Natasha 

50455487_242902209970293_2456831588072161280_n

Tony

50668144_385071175389484_2760199005227974656_n

Steve

50612213_212082782970892_3254377096197177344_n

Peter P

50730746_756189668092976_3228127948301139968_n

Bruce

50866831_379231425969989_7617807047068745728_n

Wanda

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Pepper

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Clint 

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Chapter Text

Chad Brown #beingwhiteisntbad @ChadBoiB

All this liberal Captain America is such bullshit. We’ve grown up with him as a conservative like us. He’s probably being used/conditioned by the libtards to push their own agenda on the country. Well, that’s not happening. #caploveshiscountry #andhisgod #consertivesteverogers

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @ChadBoiB

Usually, I don’t reply to people like Chad here but man am I pissed right now. To start with, Steve isn’t being conditioned or used by anyone. And his moral compass hasn’t changed since we were children in the twenties.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @ChadBoiB

Steve has always been one to stick to his guns if he knows he’s right. And he knows he right with this. In fact, the people that use his image to promote lies are conservatives and right-wing politicians or protesters.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @ChadBoiB

We grew up in the ’20s and '30’s in a very racist time. To POC and to the Irish in America, which Steve was. I can’t count how many times racist slurs were used against Steve and his mother before the war. People who call Steve racist clearly don’t understand the struggles Irish immigrants were going through at the time.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @ChadBoiB

And, to add onto the Cap’s not racist essay; he founded and lead the first integrated group in WW2. The Howlies weren’t a bunch of white guys. Because Steve wasn’t like that, he never was and he never will be.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @ChadBoiB

I’ve heard the argument that Steve only founded the Howlies because we were at war and race didn’t matter suddenly. A) Bullshit. The war was racist. And B) Sam Wilson?? His best friend bar me. He worked under Nick Fury?? A screaming racist isn’t gonna be teaming up with black guys.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @ChadBoiB

And do you want to know where Steve and I were in 1932, when we were 12 and 13? We were at Union Square marching against the rampant racism. And *gasp* the protest was organised by the American Communist Party!

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @ChadBoiB

And Cap’s not a feminist? Insane. You know who Steve looked up to more than anyone (bar Sarah)? Peggy Carter. Steve has always been one to fight for rights for all. Women included. Which, crazily, makes him a feminist.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @ChadBoiB

Cap loves his country? Sure, when it’s not disappointing him. Cap loves his God? Yeah, he does, and he’s a screaming liberal at the same time.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @ChadBoiB

In fact. Liberal isn’t even the right term. Both Stevie and I have been socialists since we were children. Card carry socialists. Protesting the depression and how we were being ignored, how we were dying on the streets. You know what Steve would do if he did get work? Help the other people on our street.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @ChadBoiB

Being an artist in ‘30s meant Steve was surrounded by other left-wingers and socialists. The college Steve went to was 80% Jewish, they were organizing student trade unions and were very, very, anti-fascist. Hell, Steve and I read every book by The New York Intellectuals and went to every talk they held.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @ChadBoiB

Steve has always been progressive and he only believes in patriotism when it involves questioning the government and making the country better.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @ChadBoiB

So, in conclusion, Chad, fuck you.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Workers of the World, Unite!

Chapter Text

 … @blood_and_gore

COMRADE AMERICA

_________________

Stucky Wedding News @stuckywedding

Bucky, Clint and Natasha seen at a caterers today.

Stucky Wedding News @stuckywedding In reply to @stuckywedding

Bucky has confirmed he was there for the wedding and that they have chosen a menu.

_________________ 

Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang

Penis Parker - MJ, change my name back, please

MJ stands for My Jesus - absolutely not.

Chairman - Jesus has spoken

Penis Parker - I hate you

Flash Flash Hundred Yard Dash - oh, can we talk about why Penis has a photo that Bucky Barnes took?

MJ stands for My Jesus - OH yeah

MJ stands for My Jesus - And all the Avengers follow him

_________________

Private Message between Peter and Ned Leeds

Peter - what do I do?

Ned - kill them

Peter - not helpful at all.

Ned - kill them and then blame it on the next villain you face

Peter - Ned

Peter - i need help.

Ned - kill them and then blame it on the Avengers!

_________________

Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang

Flash Flash Hundred Yard Dash - Your silence is giving off ominous vibes

Betty Boop - ohhhhhhhhh i wanna know what’s happening

Penis Parker - Nothing. I meet them through the Stark Internship.

MJ stands for My Jesus - And they like you enough that you hang out?

Betty Boop - Because that was you with Barnes and the Falcon, right?

Penis Parker - Yeah

MJ stands for My Jesus - So you just hang out with them?

Chairman - All the time

Chairman - sorry

Penis Parker - I work with them

Flash Flash Hundred Yard Dash - ‘work’

Penis Parker - What do you think I do?

Flash Flash Hundred Yard Dash - Something suspicious

_________________

Private Message between Peter and Ned Leeds

Peter - help me

_________________

Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang

Chairman - he went to Latvia with them

_________________

Private Message between Peter and Ned Leeds

Ned - Not helpful

Ned - Sorry

Peter - No. Not helpful.

_________________

Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang

Penis Parker has left the group

Flash Flash Hundred Yard Dash added Penis Parker to the group

Flash Flash Hundred Yard Dash - No way

Betty Boop - Tell us!

Flash Flash Hundred Yard Dash - why did barnes take the photo of you

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Spidey boy - help me please.

Spidey boy - How do I keep my identity a secret?

Captain America’s Bitch - kill everyone who suspects you. That’s what I did and it worked for a long time

Captain Ass-Merica - No killing or maiming people.

Captain Ass-Merica - And no one even knew you existed for like forty years. It’s easy to hide when you’re dead.

Captain America’s Bitch - Rude.

Falcon - change the subject

Spidey boy - I tried. They keep asking why I’m friends with/followed by you guys on social media.

Captain America’s Bitch - Kill them

Captain Ass-Merica - Shut up Bucky

Iron Man - lie

Spidey boy - AND SAy wha

Spidey boy - i;m stressed

Falcon - calm down

GreatestSpy - Lying’s a good option. Just say you met us through that internship and we like you.

Hawkeye - tell them we’re replacing Stark with you

Iron Man - says the least important Avenger.

Hawkeye - Bucky.

Captain America’s Bitch - They fuck?

Captain America’s Bitch - at least I have more than one trick

Captain America’s Bitch - don’t I steve

Iron Man has removed Captain America’s Bitch from the chat

Iron Man - do what Nat said.

_________________

Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang

Penis Parker - I’m telling the truth. I meet them through the internship. We see each other a lot so they follow me.

Betty Boop - The photo?

Penis Parker - Bucky and I went out to get milk because we ran out at the tower.

MJ stands for My Jesus - You also seem to be really good friends with Princess Shuri from Wakanda. Which is odd.

Penis Parker - We meet a while ago

_________________

Private Message between Peter Parker and Shuri

The Meme Hero - Help. I need Help

The Meme Queen - What kind? Because I just finished the lightsabers and we’re 100% using them when I come over next month. They do cut limbs from limbs tho.

The Meme Hero - That’s awesome but no. I need help ‘cause my friends are trying to figure out why we’re friends and why I’m friends with the Avengers.

The Meme Hero - And I don’t know what to say

The Meme Queen - DGUYfX2UMAAWaMc

The Meme Hero - Shuri!!

The Meme Queen - Ugh. I’m always fixing problems.

The Meme Queen - Okay. Just say we meet and we’re in love now

The Meme Queen - JK don’t say that

The Meme Queen - uhhhh say that we’re friends???

The Meme Hero - Wow. I didn’t think of that.

The Meme Queen - Stick to your guns and it’ll be okay

The Meme Queen - large

The Meme Hero - Why do you have so many pictures of me?

The Meme Queen - So i can use them. Like right now.

The Meme Queen - I also have a lot of my brother.

The Meme Hero - And where do they come from?

The Meme Queen - Cameras boo. Everywhere. Never know when someone might pull a good face.

The Meme Hero - Alright. I’m not coming to Wakanda anymore.

The Meme Queen - Everywhere boo.

The Meme Hero - mmmm don’t like that

The Meme Queen - go convince your friends you’re not half spider and then sneak me a picture of Bucky or Steve I can use when I’m stressed.

The Meme Hero - 8261143556306fcadab7bcce99fd097e

The Meme Queen - That was so fast

The Meme Hero - I use it often

_________________

Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang

Penis Parker - What’s the other alternative? That I’m actually a prince in Wakanda?

MJ stands for My Jesus - You’re 100% not that.

Flash Flash Hundred Yard Dash - Wakanda? I recognise the name

Betty Boop - Do you watch the news?

MJ stands for My Jesus - Thought you were supposed to be smart?

Penis Parker - This is why I have a better seat on the team

Flash Flash Hundred Yard Dash - Shut up.

Flash Flash Hundred Yard Dash - I do know it. Why are you friends with her?

Penis Parker - She came to NY with her brother to see Mr Stark. I meet her and we became friends.

MJ stands for My Jesus - seems legit

Penis Parker - Why wouldn’t it be?

Betty Boop - Maybe Peter’s actually spiderman

Flash Flash Hundred Yard Dash - Yeah right

Flash Flash Hundred Yard Dash - he’s nowhere near as cool as Spider Man

Penis Parker - Thanks Flash.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

It’s true.

Screen Shot 2019-01-25 at 9.06.53 PM

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Part 2

Screen Shot 2019-01-26 at 9.58.24 PM

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Part 3

Screen Shot 2019-01-28 at 4.45.28 PM

_________________

B @Bburtqa

Is Bucky okay?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Bburtqa

Yeha.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Bburtqa

Sometimes I don’t sleep for a week. It’s all good babbyyyy

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Falcon - is bucky dying

Captain America’s Bitch - i”m to strong to die

Captain Ass-Merica - we’re having issues with sleeping

Captain America’s Bitch - I’m not 2 Steven what-ever-your-middle-name-is Rogers

Captain Ass-Merica - you’re acting that way.

Captain Ass-Merica - And it’s Grant. You know that.

Falcon - So you’re not sleeping?

Captain America’s Bitch - We all have nightmares. We all have trauma. We’re all valid.

Iron Man - Is that what Holly said?

Captain America’s Bitch - who’s Holly?

Iron Man - Your therapist??

Captain Ass-Merica - He changed to Olivia.

Captain America’s Bitch - But yes, that is what she said. Sort of.

GreatestSpy - you’re not sleeping because of nightmares

Captain Ass-Merica - Sleep Terrors.

Captain America’s Bitch - When I close my eyes I want to die so I don’t close them.

Captain Ass-Merica - Which means no sleeping.

GreatestSpy - Want some horse tranquillizer?

Captain Ass-Merica - Sounds good

Captain America’s Bitch - No.

Captain America’s Bitch - I don’t want to sleep.

Captain America’s Bitch - Not a big deal.

Bruce Banner - I think that is a big deal

Captain America’s Bitch - Everyone here has weird things because they’re messed up. I think everyone in this chat has PTSD. So stop hating on me.

Hawkeye - yeah but we usually sleep after a week

Captain America’s Bitch - I can go a week and a half without sleep and still be operational and can complete a mission.

Bruce Banner - But you don’t have to.

Hawkeye - Maybe not horse tranqs but I do have illegal Mexican sleeping pills.

GreatestSpy - And I have horse tranqs

Bruce Banner - Why?

GreatestSpy - In case I need them

Iron Man - Why would you need them?

GreatestSpy - Need to take down a horse? Or a large man?

Iron Man - When would you need to take down a horse?

GreatestSpy - More often than you think.

Iron Man - one time?

Hawkeye - Oh, a few dozen easy.

Iron Man - The fuck.

Falcon - Did everyone else just hear that?

Wanda - the crash from Steve and Bucky’s room?

Falcon - Either they’re having some weird sex or they’re fighting

Wanda - Shit Steve’s calling for backup.

Iron Man - Avengers Assemble.

_________________

Badass Disney Princess @shuri

Fiction - T’Challa is a poised and respected King. Fact - T’Challa is a loooosssseeerrrrr

_________________

Avengers Assemble

GreatestSpy - And that’s why you always carry horse tranqs on you.

Falcon - So you can take down a 100-year-old assassin who’s trying to kill your friend and his fiance.

GreatestSpy - Yup

Falcon - Alright. Seems fair.

Hawkeye - Or a horse

GreatestSpy - Or a horse.

Captain Ass-Merica - Thanks for that by the way.

GreatestSpy - You have an update?

Captain Ass-Merica - Stress and lack of sleep lead to the snap. We will know more later but they think he forgot everything again. He’s still asleep but he’ll be awake by tonight. They think he’ll be back to normal.

Falcon - Please don’t be in the room when he wakes up.

Falcon - Just until we know he isn’t going to try and hurt you.

GreatestSpy - I know it sucks, and that it’s hard, but he will try to kill you and you won’t fight back because you don’t want to hurt him.

Captain Ass-Merica - I leave when he wakes up.

Falcon - Thank you.

Captain Ass-Merica - I’m going to sleep while he’s sleeping. I’ll message you if anything happens.

_________________

Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang

Flash Flash Hundred Yard Dash - I’m leaving school to become a rapper

Betty Boop - Pardon?

Penis Parker - I

Penis Parker - what?

Betty Boop - Maybe not

Penis Parker - Yeah, don’t?

MJ stands for My Jesus - You’d be a terrible rapper

Chairman - Why?

Flash Flash Hundred Yard Dash - I’ve decided I don’t like school. Or teachers.

Penis Parker - What happened?

Flash Flash Hundred Yard Dash - Another detention.

MJ stands for My Jesus - What did you do?

Flash Flash Hundred Yard Dash - Talking during class.

Flash Flash Hundred Yard Dash -  Her lesson was boring and I wanted to talk.

Chairman - so you’re angry because you broke a rule?

Flash Flash Hundred Yard Dash - This is the start of my rap career

Betty Boop - What’s the first single called?

Flash Flash Hundred Yard Dash - Let me speak

Penis Parker - Deep.

Flash Flash Hundred Yard Dash - Thanks, I know.

MJ stands for My Jesus - Stay in school kids.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Captain Ass-Merica - He’s just woken up.

GreatestSpy - what’s happening?

Captain Ass-Merica - We’re all good. Memories where it should be.

Captain America’s Bitch - Fucccccccccccccccccccccccccfcccck

Captain America’s Bitch - I am legit so sorry about what just happened.

Captain America’s Bitch - I think I bit someone. Or myself. I don’t know. But I am sorry.

Falcon - it’s good man

Iron Man - nobody got seriously hurt so I think we can call this a win.

Captain America’s Bitch - We can’t call this a win.

Captain Ass-Merica - Not this again.

Hawkeye - what?

Captain Ass-Merica - We don’t blame you Bucky

Captain America’s Bitch - That’s bad! that’s what makes it dangerous! You won’t shot to kill if push comes to shove which means I might end up hurting someone innocent simply because I didn’t get my nine hours! This isn’t alright. And Steve, you can’t live constantly thinking about how I might turn, randomly, and try to kill you. It’s all in my head. All of it. It’s not going away and this might happen again.

Captain Ass-Merica - So what? I let go of you again?

Captain America’s Bitch - Yes!

Captain Ass-Merica - No. I’m being selfish here Bucky. I’d rather die by your hand than live without you. And I’m completely happy with that.

Captain America’s Bitch - Steve.

Falcon - Man, that’s not a healthy relationship for either of you.

Iron Man - I think I’m with Sam here.

Captain Ass-Merica - I don’t care. I’ve lived without you Bucky. I’m not doing it again.

Captain America’s Bitch - Steve. That’s not okay.

Captain Ass-Merica - I don’t care.

Falcon - You know what, I’m going to get you guys a couple therapist.

Hawkeye - That might be good.

GreatestSpy - And maybe a therapist for Steve?

Captain Ass-Merica - I’m happy with our relationship.

Captain America’s Bitch - So am I but I’m terrified that I’m going to hurt you.

Captain Ass-Merica - I’m confident you won’t.

Captain America’s Bitch - I have?

Captain Ass-Merica - Nope

Captain America’s Bitch - Do you not remember me shooting you?

Captain Ass-Merica - I remember you not killing me.

Captain America’s Bitch - Is your basis for ‘not hurting’ someone is not killing them?

Falcon - No offence Bucky, we don’t blame you, but Steve you were fucked up

Hawkeye - he did shoot you, just FYI

Captain Ass-Merica - What I’m saying is, you overcame it then so you can overcome it now.

Falcon - Still think you should see a therapist.

Iron Man - Still with Sam

GreatestSpy - where’d they go?

Wanda - I just heard some more crashing and stuff from their room.

Wanda - I have a feeling it’s not the same as last time.

Chapter Text

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man - Wait I kinda want to know what happened when Bucky woke up.

Iron Man - ‘cause last time this happened he opened his eyes went ‘no’ and fell back asleep which is a mood

Captain Ass-Merica - He woke up and I was asleep by his side. He flicked me on the nose and called me a dumbass.

Iron Man - That seems right

_________________

LEO @leosvegantwitter

A crazy guy in a purple suit just shot a guy outside the cafe I’m in

LEO @leosvegantwitter In reply to @leosvegantwitter

This is insane

LEO @leosvegantwitter In reply to @leosvegantwitter

They just told us to stay in the cafe. We’re all hiding under tables and I’m right beside a window. If I die make sure my cats rehomed to a good home thx

LEO @leosvegantwitter In reply to @leosvegantwitter

Oh what the heck, the Avengers just randomly arrived. Nice.

LEO @leosvegantwitter In reply to @leosvegantwitter

Alright they’re fighting purple man in the street. Hawkeye’s looking badass.

LEO @leosvegantwitter In reply to @leosvegantwitter

A brick was thrown (by who???) and smashed the cafe window. You’re right if you think I’m keeping this brick. Anyway, I can hear them now.

LEO @leosvegantwitter In reply to @leosvegantwitter

Purple man is called Victor and hates the Avengers. Keeps trying to shot them so that’s kinda obvious but he’s acting like it’s a big shock reveal.

LEO @leosvegantwitter In reply to @leosvegantwitter

Wanda got Shot!!

LEO @leosvegantwitter In reply to @leosvegantwitter

Okay, she’s laying in the middle of the street but she just puts up two thumbs and groans.

LEO @leosvegantwitter In reply to @leosvegantwitter

Bucky replied with ‘mood’

LEO @leosvegantwitter In reply to @leosvegantwitter

AND THEN SHOT HIM

LEO @leosvegantwitter In reply to @leosvegantwitter

Point blank in the chest. They’re all checking on Wanda and it seems that she’s okay but Tony’s taking her away now while the others wait for police.

LEO @leosvegantwitter In reply to @leosvegantwitter

This was like legit not even five minutes. They’re a good team. Steve and Bucky didn’t even look at each other but were so in sync it’s crazy.

LEO @leosvegantwitter In reply to @leosvegantwitter

Steve just told us that we can home and that Wanda will be fine. Also, Victor is alive and is being taken to jail. How did he survive a shot to the chest? Horse tranqs apparently.

LEO @leosvegantwitter In reply to @leosvegantwitter

What a strange day. And to think it only happened because I wanted a coffee.

LEO @leosvegantwitter In reply to @leosvegantwitter

Bucky just brought us all coffee??? Nice. Thanks, dude.

LEO @leosvegantwitter In reply to @leosvegantwitter

What nice people

LEO @leosvegantwitter In reply to @leosvegantwitter

Alright, see ya. Thanks for following along with my near death coffee date.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I’m just a dumb slut with big dreams

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

You good?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Absolutely

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Why does Captain America have a fitness challenge that is being shown in school? He did experimental steroids and got buff?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Hi, I’m Captain America. I did a whole lot of experimental drugs and now I can bench press a bus.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Captain America’s Bitch - I love you even more now.

Captain Ass-Merica - thanks babe

Falcon - he brings up a good point tho

Captain Ass-Merica - They asked me to, I said yes.

Captain Ass-Merica - Not my idea.

Iron Man - ‘and now I can bench press a bus.’

Captain Ass-Merica - I mean, I can

Captain America’s Bitch - same

Sidey boy - same!

Falcon - Not all of us are freaks

Captain America’s Bitch - rude dude

Sidey boy - :(

Iron Man - don’t listen to Sam. Turn that frown upside down

Sidey boy - :(

Sidey boy - the bracket doesn’t change when flipped upside down

Iron Man - I

Iron Man - Really?

Captain America’s Bitch - You gotta reflect the frown along its vertical axis

Sidey boy - ^^^^ exactly

Hawkeye - lol the kids smarter than Tony

Falcon - are we surprised?

Falcon - Wait. What. What the fuck Bucky

Captain America’s Bitch - I was really into maths

Captain Ass-Merica - Was?

Captain America’s Bitch - Am.

Falcon - The winter soldier is a nerd.

_________________

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon

The Winter Soldier is a Nerd.

_________________

Ajax Ajax @Ajax

I feel like Sam and Bucky are actually hella good friends but just act like they hate each other. Like I bet they’d eat the last cookie to spite the other but would actively take a bullet for each other as well.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @Ajax

Nope

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Ajaz

No.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @Ajax

Absolutely.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @cptrogers1918

Piss off Steve

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

Yeah, I don’t like him.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @Ajax

Sam has almost taken a bullet for Bucky and Bucky has used himself as a shield when someone once tried to push Sam off a roof.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @Ajax

Bucky was once pushed off a building and Sam flew into the line of fire - even tho Tony was already there - to get him.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @Ajax

They’re training together but Bucky is afraid of heights so Sam tells him when to open his eyes so he can drop him where he needs to go. They’re extremely good at this now. They’re almost as good at fighting with each other as Bucky and I.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @cptrogers1918

Those are all work related.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @flying_falcon

Last night we watched Haunting of Hill House and they were cuddled up together because both of them were scared.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Jeez, that’s private.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

And embarrassing

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

And it’s the truth so shut up.

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Maddie Babbie @mads850

If I love Captain America any more than I already did I’d be Bucky Barnes

_________________

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen

What the actual fuck? There’s some guy outside my house with a weird laser gun that sets shit alight.

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

OH FUCK okay we just got told he’s an ex-SHIELD (but actually Hydra) agent who’s pissed at Cap for bringing down SHIELD and has spent the last few years working on his fire gun.

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

Honestly, just my luck that it’s outside my house that this happens SMH

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

Okay, I’m live tweeting this ‘cause if I die I want my tweets on the news. Also like, letting everyone know what’s happening rn because I’m an upstanding citizen. Cap would be proud.

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

He’s monologuing about freedom and how it doesn’t come without pain, whatever the fuck that means, and is shooting cars with his fire gun. He’s legit screaming about order through chaos.

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

Oh shit! MY car! I really hope my insurance covers this

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

Alright so someone just threw a fucking orange at this dude. I love it.

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

The Avengers!! They’re here.

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

Dude just points straight at Cap and grins before speaking Latin(????)

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

OhSHit cap speaks Latin

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

Oh wait that;s french

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

Ignore that one

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

While they were talking in French Bucky sneaks around the back of the dude with Black Widow (looking like a snack just FYI) while Iron Man swoops down from the sky. It’s very dramatic. I love it.

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

Falcon just swooped down and fucking kicked dude in the face!!!!!

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

He’s still talking?

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

“Shut the fuck up”- Bucky Barnes as he is discovered sneaking up

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

“He’s a fire bender!” - falcon when dude shoots bucky (who rolls away) with the fire gun

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

“Get the gun” - Cap, clearly tired of his teams dramatics. No one is really getting close to him.

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

“You get the fire gun mister I crave death!” -Bucky as he nearly gets stabbed. Dude has hella good aim.

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

OH FUCK ROBOTS INCOMING

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

Wait? Iron man’s or not good

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

NOT GOOD NOT GOOD NOT GOOD

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

BAD ROBOTS BAD

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

“I don’t crave death-” cap is cut off by a flying car.  A robot threw it at him. “I just want to go home.” I love how doesn’t care about the car that nearly hit him. Just another day at the office for him.

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

Heads up! Iron man just kicked like three robots out of the sky and Falcon fucking yeeted one into my building.

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

Hawkeye’s here. Late but here.

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

He’s legit just sitting on the curb, yelling, and shooting robots as they come towards him. No one is reacting so I'm guessing this is normal?

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

Where is Black Widow? I wanna see her again.

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

“For once in your life stop singing Mamma Mia Clint” - Iron Man. Apparently, I can only hear them when they’re yelling. Because I can not here Mamma Mia

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

Or Clint is actually singing and he’s just really bad

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

“Fuck you tin can. My singing is amazing” - clint. I was wrong, his screaming was actually him singing Money Money Money. Which is fair and what I would be doing in this situation.

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

“Do you not fear me?!?!” - Fire dude.

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

“Nah, this is training for us”- bucky as he nearly gets stabbed again. Stop going so close to him??

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

Lmao “we’re having a blast” - Falcon

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

OH FUCK

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

BLACK WIDOW JUST SHOT HIM THE HEAD

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

OH FUCK

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

k. uh all the robots just fell over. Iron man and Falcon landed. Hawkeye is now singing Waterloo.

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

Ohhhhh Bucky and Steve just high fived without looking at each. That was fucking amazing.

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

Steve just fucking kicked the body and shrugged at everyone else.

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

He’s dead Steve

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

Like I’m no doctor but I think he’s dead

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

JK I’m a nurse and I can hella confirm he’s dead.

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

Shit, a kid got hit with shrapnel, his mom just brought him out of the house. Gotta go fix the kid.

_________________

Breaking News CNN @CNN_Offical

The Avengers fight in Maine is over, the death toll at one - the attacker - and only three people have minor injuries reported so far. More to come as updates come in. This is a developing story.

_________________

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

K, I’m back. Gotta meet BW and she’s even hotter up close which is nice. The street is destroyed, it’s only this one street but it’s really bad. Entire houses are gone. We’ll figure it out though.

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

At least we’re all safe.

Sarah H Christ @sarahcohen In reply to @sarahcohen

And I got to see that sick as high five

Chapter Text

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

HOT DAMN

Screen Shot 2019-01-28 at 10.02.35 PM

_________________

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918

Bucky and I were just at the Captain America Smithsonian Exhibit because we go when we’re in DC when I noticed something. The Bucky wall says that it was an Ironic Twist of Fate that it was me that liberated Bucky’s camp. Not true.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @cptrogers1918

I found where he MIGHT be and disobeyed my direct orders to go and get them - more importantly, Bucky. My job at the time was to sell war bonds. I wasn’t even a real captain. It wasn't a twist of fate. I just wanted to rescue my babe.

_________________

The Odd Break-in at the Smithsonian | Written by CNN correspondent Madeline Lou

Visitors at the Captain America exhibit at the Smithsonian were in for a treat today. One of the highlights of the exhibit are the wax figures of the Howling Commandos and their original world war two outfits. Well, today the figures were a little different. The actual, living, Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes were in their place. Wearing their original clothing and doing the poses. Yes, that’s right. They were pretending to be their own statues. The only difference? Sergeant Barnes was standing with his hands behind his back so no one would see his metal hand. Visitors to the exhibit didn’t even realise they were real, one patron saying ‘they weren’t breathing. No movements whatsoever.’ How were they discovered? A little girl was waved at by Captain Rogers when he saw her admiring the outfit. Smithsonian officials have said that they didn’t know this was happening, that Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes broke in sometime during the night and that they even managed to fool guards and historians at the site. The Smithsonian has as said that they’re not upset with the break-in, seeing as the clothing and everything in the museum technically belongs to them and is only on loan. Rogers and Barnes have yet to make a statement on the matter.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Lmao that was great

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

And for everyone asking, we are very good at not moving or making noise.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Also, we’re just really good at not breathing for ages at a time.

_________________

Spider-Man @spiderman

Like, my spidey-sense is cool and all but it really isn’t that helpful??? Sometimes it doesn’t work until there’s a gun in my face and other times I see a Puddle and it’s all !!!!!!!!!!!DANGER!!!!!!!!!

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Long sigh

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man added Captain America’s Bitch to the group

Iron Man - how the fuck does that have fifteen million retweets?

Captain America's Bitch - I’m hella relatable

Iron Man removed Captain America’s Bitch from the group

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

One day God will beg on his knees for me to die and I will look him in the eye and refuse.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man added Captain America’s Bitch to the group

Iron Man - that has over three million in less than an hour!!!!!!

Captain America's Bitch - As stated previously: I’m hella relatable

Iron Man removed Captain America’s Bitch from the group

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

STAS. Sam “I hate you”. Bucky “Yeah, I hate me too”. Sam *long sigh* “Bucky”.

_________________

Caleb @fukingtired

Is this not Steve and Bucky?

Screen Shot 2019-02-11 at 4.49.29 PM

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @fuckingtired

It is

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @fuckingtired

I mean, we both have good abs and a sea of troubles tho

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

That is also true.

_________________

Baby Girl @sheribabe

Wait, I wanna know what Steve Roger’s ‘sea of troubles’ are? Like, I get Bucky ‘because he was tortured and shit but Steve’s like a super soldier? And he seems so happy all the time so what can he have?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sheribabe

Anxiety, a reckless and dangerous attitude that stems from depression and suicidal behaviour and tendencies. Survivor's guilt. PTSD that manifests in guilt, loneliness, nightmares, trouble sleeping and anger issues.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Yeah. Mental illness affects me. A lot. I’m not ashamed of it, anymore, and understand that it’s something a lot of people have. This isn’t something we talked about when I was a child, and to be honest I probably had PTSD before even joining the war. I was nearly killed a lot when I was young, from sickness and from beatings.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Eugenics was a huge thing when I was young. In fact, Nazis used American ideas to fuel their own programs. People thought that I should be dead because of how sick I was constantly. And they didn’t keep this to themselves.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @cptrogers1918

The World Eugenics Conventions were held in New York when I was 3 and 14 and both times myself and my ma where attacked by people we lived around. This was a huge part of my life that created an isolated childhood, the only person I was friends with was Bucky until after I joined the war.  

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Then I went to war and I saw all the horrors that we learn about today. The Howlies and I helped to liberate camps, we saw what Hydra was doing. We lost a lot of friends. Bucky and I had the added bonus of not forgetting anything, as our serums had made our memories perfect. Bucky’s was of course later changed.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @cptrogers1918

And then I watched Bucky fall. I can still remember it in picture-perfect detail and for me, it was only a handful of years ago. I watched my best friend and the love of my life fall to - what I thought was - his death. Of course, I blamed myself. I am a super soldier and yet I wasn’t able to save him. I still do blame myself.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Then I killed myself. At least I was going to. I was ready to. But instead, I woke up in a world that was entirely different, alone and confused. The only person that I knew didn’t remember me most of the time. I had the Avengers but at the time we were just strangers who were fighting the same fight.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @cptrogers1918

I woke up in a world that acted as if they knew me but actually knew a character that had been shaped to fit the current trend. Every age bracket saw me as something different. And all of them were wrong. I was alone but was forced to play the part and I hated it. My image was suddenly being used for something I was against.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @cptrogers1918

My life didn’t mean anything to me. It was something that I would willingly throw away. I never tried to actively kill myself again but I did things that would kill any other people. Not sleeping for weeks. Taking dozens of sleeping pills. Jumping off things that were far too high. Running into the line of fire.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Things have started to get better for me now. I have friends who like me for me and I have Bucky who is everything to me and is a link to my past. But the things I’ve seen, they’re never going away. I have PTSD and a host of other issues that I have to figure out how to live with. And I think that’s the most important thing to take away from this. That it may not go away but it can get better.

_________________

Captain Ass-Merica || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

I love and support Steve motherfucking Rogers so much this is crazy #CapsPTSD

Addy @addddddyy

#CapsPTSD I’m so glad he’s opening up the conversations for mental health rn

Aher @ashash

This man means so much to me omg. #CapsPTSD

Emily @uhem

#CapsPTSD And a positive message at the end! We stan a legend.

YunSpite @spite001

#CapsPTSD The suicidal tendencies bit made me so sad. I’ve been there. But it does get better.

Mike @mikeOconnor

If you need help then do like Captain America and get help! #CapsPTSD

Hope Elise @HElise

#CapsPTSD everyone who struggles with mental health should never feel afraid to talk about it or to ask for help. We’re all going through something, and there’s no shame in that!

Gina Gina Gina @GG6

What got me was Steve talking about having PTSD before the war. His childhood must have been so hard but it shaped it into the man he is. #CapsPTSD

Benson @BB_Benson In reply to @ashash

#CapsPTSD oh for fuck sakes. Just grow up.

Aher @ashash In reply to @BB_Benson

Literally, fuck you. He has been so much and has issues because of it. Have you seen service? During WORLD WAR TWO? Did you have a childhood full of death? I’m going to guess not. So do us all a favour and GROW UP you self entitled idiot. I am actually surprised at how dumb you are

Harry P In reply to @BB_Benson

I am literally fuming as I type this. I can’t believe you. I actually can’t fathom the idea that you read Rogers bearing his soul to a better society and this is how you reply? Fuck you, you disgusting virus of a man.  

Shar @shamer

#CapsPTSD Ugh can you imagine how long he was clinging to the train after watching Bucky fall. Like, hating himself and just reliving it all

Patrochilles Trash @chicken In reply to @shamer

NO why would I want to think about that?????????

Shar @shamer In reply to @chicken

IM SORRY it’s the first thing that came to mind

Patrochilles Trash @chicken In reply to @shamer

You’re messed up. I like it.

_________________

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918

I wasn’t expecting so much support when I explained this but I am glad that this has sparked a conversation. It’s not weak to ask for help #CapsPTSD

Chapter Text

PR@stark.co

To PepperPotts@stark.co

The Effects of #CapsPTSD

I’m sure by now you’ve seen how people are reacting to Steve Rogers and his admission of his PTSD and other mental health issues. People are, like before, happy to humanise their heroes. Many Veteran support groups, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety organisations and other mental health support networks have already begun using Steve Rogers as a symbol of people that have these problems. I propose that we continue using this momentum and create more opportunities for people to see and talk about the Avengers and their mental health issues.

PepperPotts@stark.co

To: PR@stark.co

RE: The Effects of #CapsPTSD

I understand where you are coming from, however, we need to get enthusiastic consent from the Avengers to highlight something so deeply personal. I will talk to them today and get back to you. Think on some ideas of how we can do this.

PR@stark.co

To PepperPotts@stark.co

RE RE: The Effects of #CapsPTSD

Thank you.

_________________

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

Can I buy Rhode Island and legal change its name to Rhodey Island?

_________________

Pip @piperbabe

Okay. Situation at hand: Guy with laser sword (the sword looks like a laser and just cut through a car) is on my street. He isn’t happy.

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

Update, he just slashed a letterbox and is yelling in a language I don’t understand. I’m gonna ask Siri what he’s talking about.

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

Okay, Siri said it’s Russian and basically he’s challenging Natasha Romanoff to a duel. I guess so he can see who’s the stronger Russian? We’ll never know.

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

Nevermind. We know. He’s annoyed that she defected to the US and he wants to ‘punish’ her for turning her back on their country. Thanks, Siri.

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

Oh no

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

Context: I live in a suburb. The kind people joke about because it’s all middle-class white people living in the same houses with the same cars. And everyone hates each other but we have to act like we get along, right?

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

So one of the moms on the street LOVES her front garden and her flowers. They have all these medals and stuff. They’re very pretty and the bushes look like their from Edward Scissorhands which is 100% in my books

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

Anyway, Mrs Tate once called the police because a kid stepped on her flower bed so you bet your ass she just marched out there when he cut her flowers with his sword.

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

Armed only with a broom and no fear of death Mrs Tate just whacked him.

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

Amazing.

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

She’s literally fighting him with a broom and is doing well????? He hasn’t got a hit in yet

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

Another mom just came out with her own broom!!! It’s Mrs Summer and she’s screaming because he smashed her favourite fountain on her property (she has like 12).

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

Mrs Tate and Mrs Summer are going HARD

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

Lmao ‘Mrs’ is currently trending worldwide

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

I’ll tell them when this is over

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

MRS LINCOLN (block famous for her cupcakes and pastries, they’re hella good) JUST CAME OUT WITH A FUCKING KNIFE OMG IT’S ON

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

THE DREAM TEAM

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

MRS LINCOLN, MRS TATE AND MRS SUMMER OWN MY HEART

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

Alright Mrs Lincoln got a hit in, the dude’s laying on the ground and is crying because he got stabbed in the stomach - which is an acceptable reaction

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

The Avengers just arrived and you bet your arse I ran outside to see them

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

I love them so much

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

Anyway. Tony and Bucky both just cracked up when told what happened. Natasha looked really impressed, Clint looked extremely happy (that he didn’t have to work he said) and Steve looked like a dad whose kid was MVP

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

I know have a photo with everyone mentioned

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

Oh, sweet, turns out Steve and Bucky liberated Mrs Tate’s mom when she was young during the war.

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

Both men got teary eyed when she thanked them. I love them so much.

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

And it’s finished. Russian man is being taken to the police now, Natasha literally just rolled her eyes when he started his monologue again and Bucky asked Steve if he was allowed to knock him out

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

The answer was no and Bucky looked so put out

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

“What have the Russians ever done for me?” Bucky mutteres while pouting. Clint says they gave him the metal arm and Bucky complains that it’s heavy. Tony says he’s offered to make a new one and Bucky looked ill at the thought. “You’re not going near my arm, or I will rip yours off” he threatens.

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

Tony rolls his eyes and goes to rebut but Steve steps in.

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

“Oh! So he can complain and threaten but I can’t protect myself!” Tony whines

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

“Yeah,” Steve replied. Bucky sticks his tongue out. “Because I like him more,” Steve continues and Bucky beams.

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

He’s the cutest I love him

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

They’re loading everyone back onto the jet now which is a shame but Bucky winked at me and liked my pun so I no longer want to die

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

#CapsPTSD get help for depression!

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

Thanks for following me. I know have like 10 times the amount of followers I had before

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

Lol, Mrs Lincoln just invited us all back for a snack. You bet I said yes, she made cookies. The fact that the Avengers were coming didn’t even factor. I wanted cookies

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

But they are coming

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

So now we’re all having cookies together on her porch

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

And I’m getting off my phone because I wanna stare @ them

Pip @piperbabe In reply to @piperbabe

Thx :)

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Sparkling water is disgusting and is the worst thing the future invented

Amy @amyamy In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Sparking was invented in the 1740s.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @amyamy

Shut up, Amy :(

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Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

I never got an answer

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Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon

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The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

IT’S TO COLD

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @arrowboi

It’s warm?

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I’m in Russia dipshit

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @arrowboi

Harsh

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @arrowboi

Just the like your weather

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

You’re not funny and I hate you

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @arrowboi

However will I go on?

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Die

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @arrowboi

Babe, come on

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

It’s too cold to deal with you

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @arrowboi

I’m the WINTER soldier

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I’m blocking you

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @arrowboi

No, you’re not

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

You’re right. I can’t. You post the good pics of Steve’s ass

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @arrowboi

???

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Everyone loves you, babe

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

I’m still too cold.

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

Also, I got shot just FYI

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @arrowboi

Lmao for real?

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Yeah and it’s fucking cold

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @arrowboi

Don’t bleed out

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

My blood is frozen so I can’t

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @arrowboi

He’s such a drama queen. It’s not that cold and he has a graze on his thigh

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @blackwidow_baby

This happens every time. Let me have something babe

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @arrowboi

I’m going to end up shooting him soon

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Love you too

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @arrowboi

Poor Baby

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

What the fuck is happening over there

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Did you not notice we’d left?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Nope

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

We’ve been gone for nearly a week

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

I don’t keep track

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Wow

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

It’s not that I don’t notice it’s just that I don’t care

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Bucky!!

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Sorry, Nat. It’s actually because I haven’t left my room!

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I think that’s worse

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Mmmmm maybe

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Talk to Olivia

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Who?

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Therapist?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

No, I changed to Grant. He has the same middle name as Steve.

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

We all know Steve’s middle name

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Good. 

Chapter Text

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Fun fact. Our first valentine day as a ‘couple’ (we were like 6) Steve and I saved up to get each other a present. On the actual day, I arrived at Steve’s with about a dollar fifty in my pocket because I hadn’t saved up enough. Steve had also saved up a dollar fifty (we got the same allowance)

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

We were so sad because we wanted to get each other a present. So we decided to go out and buy one present together with our three dollars. The toy store was having a sale that day and we got a morse-code teaching set for $2. We were so happy with it. And, because it was on sale we then able to spend a dollar on candy. Which is about $13 in today’s dollar.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

The next valentines we did the same thing, tho we put a new set of tinker toys (the best thing that year) and more candy which my sister stole because she didn’t have a date.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Skipping forward a bit, when we were 16 and 17 we went to Coney island with two lesbians who were also dating and pretended we were dating so we could a cheaper ticket. I won Steve a red teddy bear and he won me a giant lollipop which we shared when we got home.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Look, the moral of the story is that I love Steve.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Also that I had no idea what to do this year so we just went back to coney island.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

And that we’re no longer allowed to go back to coney island.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

But that what they said Valentine's day 1934 and by today they had forgotten. So, Valentines day 2102 we’re going back.

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Viral Youtube Channel ‘The Hulks A Bitch’ is Stirring Up Questions | Written by CNN correspondent Hamilton Laurens  

5 months ago the Youtube Channel ‘The Hulks A Bitch’ (yes, wrong grammar included) popped up. Seemingly out of nowhere. The Channel boasts random videos about the Avengers that have no real evidence or proof but offer it anyway, such as ‘Iron Man is a Bitch Liar’ (15.8 million views) and ‘Real Proof the Avengers Are Lizard People Who Want to Control Us’ (12.5 million views in three days). It’s not the ideas presented that have people confused, it’s the actual proof that’s given. No, no one is proving that Captain Rogers is actually a clone (‘Captain America is a Clone??’ (6.5 million views)) but they do have access to never before seen footage and photos. Which has everybody, including the Avengers a little worried. The Stark Tower is one of the most secure buildings in the world and yet this person knows things they shouldn’t. People are wondering how this channel has gotten the information that it has. Some have even pointed to the Avengers themselves, claiming they own the channel. Whatever you think only one thing is clear; there’s no proof on who owns it any way you want to swing it. The channel has refused to do any interviews or release any personal information. The only thing we do know about the channel and its owner? They have a very strange mind.

_________________

Bex Loves Bucky @happyb

Screen Shot 2019-02-09 at 4.03.41 PM

Bex Loves Bucky @happyb

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Bex Loves Bucky @happyb

Prove me wrong. I dare you.

_________________

Wanda Maximoff @scarletxwitch

If you piss off Clint he turns his hearing aid off and turns around so you can't sign to him.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man - okay I’m officially saying this is weird

Captain Ass-Merica - What

Iron Man - This Youtube channel

Captain Ass-Merica - The Hulks a Bitch one?

Iron Man - Yeah. So like, weird theories are one thing, right? People are weird and shit, this is normal. But this channel legit has pictures I’ve never seen before and when I look them up the only source is the channel itself.

Falcon - so you think, what?

GreatestSpy - Someone’s hacked us?

Iron Man - That’s the thing, I can’t see any sign of us being hacked. Anywhere.

Captain Ass-Merica - Couldn’t they just be smarter than you. Or maybe tricked you somehow?

Captain America’s Bitch - but if you had access to all our info why would you spend your time making weird conspiracy videos for youtube that are clearly fake instead of sharing actual information? Like, no one believes a word on that channel which would make it harder for anyone to believe what was said even if it was real. They’d write it off as crazy just like they’re doing now.

Captain Ass-Merica - True

Iron Man - I can’t figure it out

Bruce Banner - Or maybe they’ve hacked it to be funny

Iron Man - I mean, maybe?

Falcon - The photos look like they’re from a phone a lot of the time.

Iron Man - There was a selfie of Bruce in his hologram video

Captain America’s Bitch - Yeah, in the video about Steve and I there’s a picture of us that I’ve never seen before

GreatestSpy - Who’s taking photos of us with us knowing?

Captain America’s Bitch - I mean I’m hella good at it but it’s not me

Falcon - What’s the chance of it being one of us?

Bruce Banner - We’re all smart and would have access to the photos and videos.

Bruce Banner - But who here would want to. Aside from Bucky or Clint and we all know they can’t keep secrets.

Captain America’s Bitch - I was a secret for a long time?

Hawkeye - And I’m literally an Agent?

Bruce Banner - Sure, and all the Avengers know about all your missions because you tell us when you do something. Especially if you think it’s funny.

Captain America’s Bitch - That’s true

Hawkeye - Yeah, okay.

Iron Man - It’s freaky

Mother Hen - People like it though. Which is very good

Falcon - Maybe Pepper’s the one behind it all

Mother Hen - I couldn’t come up with those theories even if I tried

Hawkeye - Why not?

Mother Hen - Because I am not an idiot.

Hawkeye - Touche.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Okay. One great thing about the future? TV.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

World’s Strictest Parents is literally amazing and I could watch it always

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

But then The Great British Bake Off? It’s God Tier.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I’m watching it right now and holy moly this is a banger of an episode. Molly’s fucked up her fondant so I don’t know if she’s going to make into the next round. Like, it’s passable and looks yum but the flowers are ever so slightly melted. And Mike’s like an expert at fondant so I’m worried compared to his she’s going to be bad

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Oh, but Lucy’s cake didn’t rise as much as it should of so she could very well be in the bottom and saying goodbye. She shouldn’t have added so much flour :/ I’m not sure.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I don’t want anyone to go home.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Judgement called for Molly to go home. As much as I love her she does have a lot to learn, but she is young so she has time. I’m sure that if she came back in a few years she would smash them.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Another amazing thing is Project Runway. If they ever want me as a judge I am there.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

NOOOO Kevin don’t use the orange fabric go with the blue. It’s so much more timeless! And Gemma shouldn’t have cut the neckline so low, it’s Corporate Formal Gemma!!!! This isn’t going to fly. Nina’s going to hate it.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Okay Kevin decided to go with the blue (thank god) but also he just legit just sabotaged the other designers dress? He cut a hole into it when she was in the bathroom what the actual fuck Kevin.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Kacy - said girl - is in tears. Poor girl.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Tim Gunn found out what happened, duh Kevin, it’s being filmed. And Kevin’s been KICKED off the show!!!!! I love this show

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

And everyone agreed to let Kacy start over with the same amount of time/money because it wasn’t her fault.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

AWwww she won the challenge. Her dress was amazing tho. The cut was perfect for the challenge and the colour was edgy but still formal and elegant. It’s a hard line to walk.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Bucky has never baked a cake or made an item of clothing in his life.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Did you need to expose me like that?

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

STAS. Bucky “some of you never assassinated an important political person and it shows”.

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @avengers

I am so sick of Bucky Barnes

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

You love me.

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Die.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidown_baby

Damn, okay, that one hurt.

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Baby.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidown_baby

Robot.

Karen Jace @mommyof18babes In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

This is sickening to see. A murderer joking about killing people that are important, literally joking about it. And to know the Avengers find it funny enough to share and joke about themselves makes it so much worse. I don’t like them, they should be in an institution of some kind. Clearly, they are messed up mentally.  

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @mommyof18babes

It’s a meme, Karen.

_________________

Emily || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

I wanna know some little details about Steve/Bucky/Avengers. Just something random and that doesn’t really matter. I wanna know it all.

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Natasha sleeps sitting upright and it never fails to scare the living shit out of me. But I sleep with my eyes open and I fall asleep in many random places so that has led to many people getting a fright.

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Tony constantly mumbles to himself. About anything and everything. New plans, funny things, complaints, ideas. It’s annoying.

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Sam peals his grapes before eating them. He said he started as a child. It scares me.

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Bruce is reallllllllllly into astrology and is always on the roof looking at the stars

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Sometimes Wanda forgets not to look into our minds. It has lead to a few embarrassing moments ie the time I was singing the Fresh-Chew Gum Jingle in my head for about ten minutes and she was there the whole time.

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Pepper has never lost a game of Monopoly, UNO, Chess or Poker. She is ruthless on game night. And Spider-Man sticks to the ceilings sometimes to chill and OMG is it not the most scary shit ever when you walk into a room and he drops down in front of you.

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Bucky is really protective over a few random things. A mug and an (eating) knife, in particular, we’re not allowed to touch them. No one knows why they’re special expect him.

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Steve collects his and Bucky’s merch. They have a large cupboard full of it for no apparent reason but sometimes they wear clothing with the other person’s face on it.

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Sam and Bucky have a collection of pictures of them in front of pictures/murals/statues/etc of Steve. They print them out and they have two photo albums full now. We don’t know when they take them.

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Ant-Man likes to size down food to keep for later. It’s fucking amazing.

Emily || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @arrowboi

I have been feed so well. I am forever in your debt

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Don’t worry about it. I’ll forget by tomorrow.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I may be crying but that doesn’t mean I have emotions

_________________

tony Tony TOny TONy TONY @tonystark1fan

Guys, I am literally screaming so hard rn I think I’m gonna pass out holy fuck. So I was walking past the Avengers building on my way to work right, i do this every day. This morning was amazing tho because Iron Man fucking takes off from his platform and waves at us and shit. Awesome

tony Tony TOny TONy TONY @tonystark1fan

BUT IT GETS BETTER

tony Tony TOny TONy TONY @tonystark1fan

So i was walking HOME same way and TONY MOTHER FUCKING STARK walks out of the tower. Everyone goes crazy but THAT’S TONY MOTHERFUCKING STARK RIGHT so like i’m screaming and crying. It’s mayhem but i got to get a photo with him

tony Tony TOny TONy TONY @tonystark1fan

BUT IT GETS EVEN BETTER

tony Tony TOny TONy TONY @tonystark1fan

He announces that the ground floor of the A-Tower is now open to the public and the cafe is full of free food. Like it doesn’t charge now. And the wifi and shit is one hundred per cent free and stuff.

tony Tony TOny TONy TONY @tonystark1fan

So like he’s talking about how homeless people or people with no power or food can come to the Avengers Tower to get what they need DO WE STAN A HUMANITARIAN?????

tony Tony TOny TONy TONY @tonystark1fan

This mans power is unreal

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man - So we’re just ignoring the crazy youtuber

Captain Ass-Merica - looks like

Chapter Text

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

March 10th 1917, the day the world was changed. For the better or for the worse? No idea.

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby

Happy B-day to the only man I can’t put in a choke hold well. (Also the only man that laughs with me in Russian)

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

A long time ago Bucky was born. The world wept for this man fucking sucks. I still love him tho.

Wanda Maximoff @scarletxwitch

Happy 100 and something Birthday to the other Hydra experiment on the team!

Bruce Banner @dr_banner

To the man on the tea who likes tea almost as much as me (even though it took a year of whining about tea to get there), happy birthday.

Pepper @PepPotts

Happy birthday Bucky! Hopefully this year you’re more mature.

Spider-Man @spiderman

Bucky Barnes is one of the coolest members of the Avengers, he’s a good man. Happy Birthday!!!

Rhodey @war_machine_rox

One of the best snipers out there, a truly good man, but still the second rate James. Happy Birthday Bucky.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon

Happy 102th (30ish) Birthday to the one and only James Barnes

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918

102 years ago the man that I am 102% in love with was born. I didn’t know him his first five years, but I have known him for a lot of the rest. He was a jerk then and he is a jerk now. And I love him more than life itself. We’ve done birthdays a few times and we’ve got a lot more to go. Happy birthday Buck, I love you.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Man, I love having a day all about me.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @M_dust

But thank you, everyone. 102 and counting (not really, no one knows how old I am)

Chapter Text

Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang

Flash Flash Hundred Yard Dash - Peter where are you?

Betty Boop - The comp starts in 10!!

MJ stands for My Jesus - Did he say where he was going?

Betty Boop - No.

MJ stands for My Jesus - So he’s MIA?

Chairman - I think he was with Stark so he’s probably on his way.

Flash Flash Hundred Yard Dash - He’s always there.

Penis Parker - I’m only five minutes away. I’ll be there.

_________________ 

Peter is 100% Spider-Man (and is a terrible liar) [whole school minus Peter and Ned]

Flash - so, he’s just spidermanning it up right now?

MJ - Oh yeah. I checked twitter and spiderboy was just spotted.

Flash - Add it to the evidence doc

Thomas - On it.

_________________

Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang

Penis Parker - I’m here. I’m here.

_________________

Peter is 100% Spider-Man (and is a terrible liar) [whole school minus Peter and Ned]

MJ - Let the record show that Peter is clearly wearing the spider suit under his jacket. I saw the collar.

Willow - I’ll add it to the evidence doc.

_________________

Spider-Man Updates @spiderMupdatesNY

Spider man was just seen going into a deli. No one knows why yet.

Spider-Man Updates @spiderMupdatesNY In reply to @spiderMupdatesNY

It was to buy food. He came out with a sandwich.

_________________

Peter is 100% Spider-Man (and is a terrible liar) [whole school minus Peter and Ned]

Percy J - Peter just fucking jumped over the school fence again

Percy J - It’s like he wants to get caught

Annabeth - maybe he’s just an idiot

Heather D - or he thinks we’re all idiots

Nico - I also saw him getting into the costume in an alleyway after school

Will S - he was just standing there. Like, getting changed.

Nico - And then he straight up stuck his bag to the dumpster with his webbing

Betty - Oh, I’ve seen him do that as well

Jason G - He has to want to be caught

Hazel - Maybe he thinks no one is looking?

Annabeth - It’s kind of obvious

Heather M - I saw him getting changed as well Nico

Veronica - do you think the teachers now?

Piper M - I want to know if they know so badly

Frank - I’ve added it all to the doc anyway

Flash - I think he’s just an idiot

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and Peter Parker

Peter - Steve, can I ask you for some help?

Steve - Of course. What’s up?

Peter - I have an assignment due tomorrow that’s about WW2 and I completely forgot about because of crime fighting and I was wondering if you would help me with it?

Peter - Steve???

Steve - Bucky and I are on our way over.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

GreatestSpy - I still think it’s weird

Hawkeye - forbidden fruit

GreatestSpy removed Hawkeye from the chat

Falcon - the internet has made the world strange

Captain Ass-Merica - what are we talking about?

GreatestSpy - tide pod challenge

Captain America’s Bitch - so old

GreatestSpy - Shut up.

Captain Ass-Merica - When we were kids people ate live goldfish as a challenge so I think people are just odd.

Iron Man - who did what now?

Captain America’s Bitch - In the 20’s it was common to sit on flagpoles for as long as you could. In the 30’s people ate live goldfish. People died both times soooo

Falcon - Did you?

Captain America’s Bitch - No it looked gross

Spidery Boy - Do you think I could eat a tide pod? I have advanced healing factors.

Captain Ass-Merica - Please don’t do that

Spidery Boy - I want to try now.

Iron Man - Peter don’t do that

Captain Ass-Merica - not good

Captain America’s Bitch - he’s so doing it rn

Iron Man - omg

Spidery Boy - so, it’s gross as shit but I didn’t die.

Iron Man - omg

_________________

Spider-Man Updates @spiderMupdatesNY

Spider man saved a bus full of people against a rogue train. We’re waiting on more news.

Let SM be an avenger @spidermanfan In reply to @spiderMupdatesNY

Apparently in order to stop the bus he just body slammed into the side and moved it out of the way. Which isn’t how I imagined it going down but okay.

_________________

Calls for Spider-Man to become an Avenger | Written by CNN correspondent Lee Case

Even though we don’t know his name, Spider-Man has been helping the citizens of New York for some time now. From stopping low-level crime to helping the Avengers defeat villains, to assisting people to cross the road. Some of these people have made the call that Spider-Man should be made an official Avenger. Citizens of New York want to see their ‘friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man’ go global. Co-leader of the Avengers Tony Stark has made a statement regarding this, tweeting: ‘while SM is a great hero and a valuable asset on certain missions, he is not an Avenger and will not be one for some time due to reasons that are still private. SM and all the Avengers have come to this conclusion after some discussion. Thank you.’. Spider-Man himself has not made a statement regarding the push for him to become an Avenger. Many are speculating on what the private reasons are that would make Spider-Man not an Avenger but still a superhero. Perhaps we will find out when Spider-Man goes public with his identity or when he becomes an Avenger.

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Avengers Assemble

Spidery Boy - i’m literally the biggest idiot ever. Omg

Spidery Boy - I walked into class with my fucking suit on because I forgot i was wearing it

Spidery Boy - i may as well die now

Falcon - what did you do when you realised?

Spidery Boy - That’s the worst part

_________________

Peter is 100% Spider-Man (and is a terrible liar) [whole school minus Peter and Ned]

Flash - what did he do?

Jude - the most

April - I nearly died

Kat - Mr Higgins looked like he was about to pass out

Jude - I think Mr Higgs was about to chase him with that baseball bat he has on the ceiling

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Avengers Assemble

Spidery Boy - I kind of pointed at all of them with one hand on my hip and in this really deep voice just went

_________________

Peter is 100% Spider-Man (and is a terrible liar) [whole school minus Peter and Ned]

MJ - ‘stay in school, stay kind, stay heroes!’

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Avengers Assemble

Spidery Boy - and then I just kinda turned and walked out of the room.

Hawkeye - how do you fuck up that bad?

Spidery Boy - I have no idea

Chapter Text

Shrek is Life @memequeeeen

Lmaooooo we’re being fed today bois

53117813_307160506665288_2158641981624942592_n

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I'll break him @stuckyfanOG

NEW PHOTOS NEW PHOTOS NEW PHOTOS NEW PHOTOS SUIT PHOTOS SUIT PHOTOS SUIT PHOTOS STEVE AND BUCKY IN SUITS STEVE AND BUCKY IN SUITS

a046093f0110112b6d24c9474a74ac9b

6f6eb23a458b16106cecc23fdd21360f

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Asdfghjkl @TeLucy

Soooo are we getting a Cap movie based on real life or not?????

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Pam @pampamqazam

My sister got her new history textbook and it’s got Stucky in it I am living

Lily C @lilcece In reply to @pampamqazam

You gonna tell us what is says or do i have to beg,,,,,

Pam @pampamqazam In reply to @lilcece

‘Rogers and Barnes started dating in the early 1920’s. As homophobia was rampant at the time they kept it hidden. At the time of their ‘deaths’, only their close families, the Howling Commandos and Peggy Carter knew of their relationship.’ Later it says ‘The two announced their relationship to the world after Rogers proposed to Barnes.’

Lily C @lilcece In reply to @pampamqazam

We’re being fed today

Pam @pampamqazam In reply to @lilcece

It’s amazing

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Silver Slut @crochetcoochie

Every time I hear thunder I think of Thor. Love you boo

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Avenger Confessions @confessavengers

People who stan Loki are,,,, odd?? He like tried to take over the world

Loki’s Army @lokiloki In reply to @confessavengers

With the state the world’s in today it might have been better to let it happen tbh

Percy @pj3 In reply to @lokiloki

Very true. What’s Loki’s stance on free healthcare?

Loki's Army @lokiloki In reply to @pj3

Lmao he’s got my vote

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Tony Stark Deserves Better @abbybaby

LOOK AT THIS MAN™

Dz5uUpgXcAE5gCL

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Stucky Bitches

Addy - I was going through footage of the latest fight for an edit and look what I found

Addy - Screen Shot 2019-02-21 at 5.29.32 PM

Mia - lmao love it

Emily - it has a unique mood that I can’t place.

Addy - It does.

Mia - oh, lol, I was talking to my mum and she called Bucky the metal-armed-sad-man

Emily - Fucking mood what is this

Emily -  fuck I love your mom Mia

Emily - Dad calls them Barnes and Noble and refuses to call them anything else. He has started calling Steve Noble now.

Mia - Amazing. 10/10. I stan your dad

Emily - Shut up.

Addy - let’s add your dad to the chat

Mia - And then kick you out

Emily - you both suck

Mia - looooove you

Addy - sure

Emily - :((((((((((

Emily - I’m gonna go read Stucky fanfics to make myself happy again because of all this ruthless bullying

Mia - Oh! Rec: Broken Minds & Beautiful Souls on Ao3

Emily - Thanks

Addy - Mia, did you see what Josh RTed?

Mia - No I blocked him when he started messaging me again.

Addy - Really???

Mia - Yeah, I vague tweeted about him and Natasha told me to block him, remember?

Addy - Vaguely. Anyway, he was tweeting about how all girls are sluts and how men are superior and shit. He was super talking about you, babe. Sorry.

Mia - Maybe I should castrate him like Natasha also suggested

Mia - I just want him to leave me alone. He started emailing me. Who emails???

Addy - I just reported him for hate crimes and posted about it, babe. Let’s fucking end him.

Addy - Make Tasha Proud

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Lucky Lucy @lucylo123

I can’t wait to see what Stucky will wear to their wedding. I am fully aware that I will cry

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Avenger Confessions @confessavengers

Steve Rogers isn’t that attractive.

Stanning Steve @Stevestan In reply to @confessavengers

Bad post OP

B @Bburtqa In reply to @Stevestan

Really bad

Avenger Confessions @confessavengers In reply to @Stevestan and @Bburtqa

[the worst]

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Stucky Lover @kirahiggs

Look at this photo of Hawkeye I just found!!! I love it

Screen Shot 2019-02-21 at 1.44.44 PM

Clint B @hawkifan In reply yo @kirahiggs

I love this so much!! I haven’t seen this one yet so thanks!!!

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Elisa @Elisa24

Remember when this all started? Just because Bucky got Twitter. Good times.

Rach @rachinwonderland In reply to @Elisa24

Imagine if they hadn’t done it.

The Avengers @AvengersFanAccount03 In reply to @Elisa24

We’d be starving fan girls

B @Bburtqa In reply to @Elisa24

Life wouldn't be so fun

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tony Tony TOny TONy TONY @tonystark1fan

Every day I panic that Tony (or any of the Avengers really) are gonna die

Screen Shot 2019-02-21 at 1.44.57 PM

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Avenger Confessions @confessavengers

I still think Stony is better than Stucky. You can’t change my mind.

Abigail P @Apop In reply to @confessavengers

People like you make me sick. It’s so fucked up to be shipping real life people when they’re not together.

Captain Iron @stonyfannn In reply to @Apop

Bruh, it’s all good. People are just having fun.

Abigail P @Apop In reply to @stonyfannn

No. Steve and Tony aren’t a couple IRL so don’t ship them.

Captain Iron @stonyfannn In reply to @Apop

You ship Stucky

Abigail P @Apop In reply to @stonyfannn

Who are a couple.

Captain Iron @stonyfannn In reply to @Apop

Bruh you shipped them before they came out

Abigail P @Apop In reply to @stonyfannn

So?

Captain Iron @stonyfannn In reply to @Apop

You’re so fucking delusional omg

Abigail P @Apop In reply to @stonyfannn

What do you mean???

Steve Rogers #ownsme @steveO In reply to @Apop

Which means you shipped two people before we knew they were a couple. You legit did what you’re pissing about rn before.

Captain Iron @stonyfannn In reply to @steveO

Thank you!

Abigail P @Apop In reply to @steveO

No. They’re a couple.

Steve Rogers #ownsme @steveO In reply to @Apop

But they weren’t always out

Abigail P @Apop In reply to @steveO

And

Steve Rogers #ownsme @steveO In reply to @Apop

Omg you can’t honestly be this dumb

Abigail P @Apop In reply to @steveO

Blocked and reported

Captain Iron @stonyfannn In reply to @steveO

I can’t,,,,,,,

Steve Rogers #ownsme @steveO In reply to @stonyfannn

I know what you mean

Avenger Confessions @confessavengers In reply to @stonyfannn and @steveO

[this is one of the funniest threads I’ve seen here]

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Steven Barnes @stevenRs

Arms Arms Arms Arms Arms Arms Arms Arms

Screen Shot 2019-02-25 at 2.31.10 PM

Lulu @alision234 In reply to @stevenRs

Body Body Body Body Body Body Body Body

Oranges @jayz In reply to @alision234

Legs Legs Legs Legs Legs Legs Legs Legs

Stripey G @sunshineandstripes In reply to @jayz

Steve Steve Steve Steve Steve Steve Steve

Steven Barnes @stevenRs

Lmao big mood

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Pepper Potts Love Bot @lexa73

Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love Pepper Mother Fucking Potts. You can’t because I will stab you in your eye if you try that shit with me.

Pepper Potts Love Bot @lexa73

I love her so much

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Avenger Confessions @confessavengers

I hella think Wanda is Bi or something.

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Baby Bird @stevewilson

Steve while Bucky is ‘dead’: the only straight I am is Straight Up Dead Inside

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B @Bburtqa

Every day I thank the universe for letting me be alive at the same time as Sam Wilson.

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Bumble Bee @beatrze

*sees a picture of Bucky*

DpA2VCOXgAE-34Q

Red Pencil @starcross In reply to @beatrze

OMFG me

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Maxi-Most @lovemesomewanada

Wanda deserves so much more from this fandom. Strongest Avenger and is slept on by everyone!!

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Rhodey is #1 thanks @warmachinerox

Find the hoe for Steve Rogers:

👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫👫

Can’t find it?

It’s because it’s you.

Chapter Text

Excerpt Transcript: Interview with Steve Rogers, Tony Stark and Poppy Cream (Host of Daytime TV talk show - Stars with Cream)

 

Poppy Welcome back to Stars with Cream, I’m Poppy and I am here with Steve Rogers and Tony Stark, the co-leaders of the Avengers and world-famous badasses. Thank you so much for being here.

Steve Thank you for having us.

Tony Glad to be here.

Poppy Well, you two have been busy. First, you were in the Atlantic and then Chile and then Arkansas.

Tony Avengers work is never done.

Steve That is very true.

Poppy And you two must be extra busy, being co-leaders. Or should I say, captains?

Steve  It’s not that bad. We tend to delegate jobs.

Tony And some of the Avengers just disappear for weeks at a time before coming back with a new story and a new scar. We don’t have to worry about them.

Steve Nat’s the worst at that. Ups and leaves without a goodbye.

Tony Like a cat.

Poppy A cat?

Steve Definitely.

Poppy So how the Avengers right now?

Tony Good. We’ve had a few days where all of us are at the tower and have been using it for some R and R. A few brunches, some movie nights, we built a fort. A day where I tried to see if I could make Nat smile. That didn’t work. We did a spa night last night which was awesome. Clint and Sam found Captain America face masks and we used them, Steve wasn’t happy that we did but we couldn’t not.

Steve The faces masks were weird. It wasn’t like it was my shield, it was my face. On their faces.

Poppy Go back, a fort?

Tony Yup. We were all stressed out and really tense. Bruce suggested the idea and we ran with it. Made the entire communal living room into a massive fort and ordered a metric shit ton of food for it.

Poppy That sounds amazing.

Steve Tony and Bruce are very good at building forts if I am being honest.

Poppy Next time I expect an invite. Now, I want to talk about the mission in Texas, because there is footage of you, Tony, being thrown into a building. What happened for that to come about? I can’t decide.

Steve Bucky and Clint laughed about this for days.

Tony Yeah, they did. So did Pepper. So, basically, I was flying around and distracting this guy so that Nat and Sam could get in behind. I was in the air and suddenly this car smashes into me, I go ass over tit and hurtle to the building. Natasha managed to take the guy out just after that, but then only published the footage of me flying into the building and not the reasoning behind it.

Poppy It’s a funny piece of footage. So, let’s talk rumours because there’s a few going around about the Avengers right now. But first, do you keep up to date with the rumours or stories being spread?

Tony If the headline looks funny I’ll read it.

Steve I think a few Avengers keep up to date, a few of the spies like to know so they can deal with them as needed. Bruce refuses to read them, Sam’s like Tony, only if it catches his attention. Bucky reads them all, he loves it. 70 years of hiding and not being a person has really made him an attention whore. He reads a lot of it to me, and I do enjoy hearing what people are saying. Or more, I like knowing what people are saying about me. Makes it easier to monitor the situation.

Tony Pepper reads them all.

Steve All-knowing.

Poppy Well, after the break we dive into more stories from Steve Rogers and Tony Stark.

_________________

Steven Barnes @stevenRs

Yo, @ the avengers: FUuck Marry Kill Avenger Style. All in good fun oc

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @stevenRs

Fuck Myself, Marry Pepper, Kill Clint (rn)

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @stevenRs

Fuck Clint, Marry Wanda, Kill Tony

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @stevenRs

Fuck Steve, Marry Nat, Kill Tony

Wanda Maximoff @scarletxwitch In reply to @stevenRs

Fuck no one, Marry Nat, Kill ??

Bruce Banner @dr_banner In reply to @stevenRs

Fuck Steve, Marry Tony, Kill Rhodey (he broke my fav beaker)

Pepper @PepPotts In reply to @stevenRs

Fuck Sam, Marry Tony, Kill Bucky or Steve

Spider-Man @spiderman In reply to @stevenRs

Fuck Thor, Marry no one, Kill myself.

Rhodey @war_machine_rox In reply to @stevenRs

Fuck Tony, Marry Sam, Kill Bucky

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @stevenRs

Fuck Steve, Marry Tony, Kill Tony and cash that cheque

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @stevenRs

Fuck Sam, Marry Bucky, Kill Tony

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @stevenRs

Fuck AND marry Steve, kill everyone else.

_________________

22 @imogennnn22

I feel old, I remember when Pluto was a planet.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @imogennnn22

I feel old, I remember when Pluto was discovered.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Look, Steve is a good driver. I taught him how to drive in France. I am also a very good driver. But sometimes he forgets that we’re not in War-torn France or Germany or Europe tbh and he drives a little fast.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Maybe a lot fast.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Which is why I am currently sitting here laughing my ass off because Steve got pulled over

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

The cop took one look at Steve and just got so pale. We kind of all stared at each other for a while.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

“Can I please see your license, uh, Mr America?” Steve’s response - “no.”

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Another thing with Steve. He doesn’t, exactly have, a driver's license. Like, we didn’t need one in WW2 so we didn’t get them and now it’s just - kinda too hard???

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Anyway. The cop is sitting in his car and looks so confused.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

He’s come back. “How long have you been driving without a license?” “Forever.” “That’s illegal.” “No.” Cop looks so stumped. He clearly has no idea what to do.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

My phone beeped because I got a text from DogFactsDaily and Steve takes it. “Avengers stuff”

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Cop’s eyes go so wide. “Anything we can do to help?” Steve shrugs, “I just need to get there so I can you know - save who needs to be saved and stuff like that.”

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

“Uh, yeah, alright Mr America can you please get a license though?”

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Steve fucking shrugs and starts driving away. Poor cop.

NYPD @NYPDoffical In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I mean, it is illegal. Please don’t drive without a license. This includes Captain America.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @NYPDoffical

No, it doesn’t

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Leave us alone

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Lmao wait are we going to get arrested for this??

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Imagine the winter soldier going down for driving without a licence

_________________

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby

Honestly, so what if I assassinated your sitting PM a few years ago?? Your country has good ice cream so can I please come back in?

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Update: we both got two $300 fines. Which we will pay.

NYPD @NYPDoffical In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

And are you going to get a license?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @NYPDoffical

Are you looking to get blocked? Because I will block you.

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

STAS. Bucky “I have an idea!” Steve “Your last idea was murder and arson, you’re not allowed any more ideas”.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Captain Ass-Merica - Moral dilemma going down right now

Iron Man - and that is?

Captain Ass-Merica - do buck and I get senior discounts?

Iron Man - what?

Captain Ass-Merica - do buck and I get senior discounts?

Iron Man - Thanks, captain dumbass, I can read

Iron Man - I am wondering why this ‘moral dilemma’ has come up

Captain Ass-Merica - we’re going to the zoo

GreatestSpy - yeah, you qualify. Legally anyway

Falcon - physically, no.

GreatestSpy -  Yeah but it’s not based on physical

Hawkeye - I mean, mentally they’re young

Rhodey - we don’t even know how old Bucky is

GreatestSpy - legally we do

Iron Man - since when did you care about ‘legally’

GreatestSpy - I always care about it

Iron Man - what

GreatestSpy - when it gets me what I want

Iron Man - there it is

Hawkeye - what does your driver's license say

Falcon - ha ha

Hawkeye - thanks

Hawkeye - but what do your documents say

GreatestSpy - their birth years

Falcon - how do you know?

GreatestSpy - I have all your records

GreatestSpy  - Also, what else would it say?

Falcon  - So you know everything about us?

GreatestSpy  - Yeah

Falcon - awesome. great. love that. 

GreatestSpy - don’t be a baby

Hawkeye - we haven’t solved the dilemma

Falcon - list the reasons for and against it. go

GreatestSpy - For: They are legally seniors. Doesn’t matter that the slept through it

Hawkeye - For: WW2 vets and all WW2 vets are senior citizens now

Iron Man - Against: Mentally and Physically they are around 30. We’re not sure

Hawkeye - I mean, physically they’re not human so that’s not a great indicator

Hawkeye - Which is why we should get an Avenger Discount 

GreatestSpy - Not this again. We’re talking about Stucky

Falcon - did you just refer to them as their ship name

GreatestSpy - it’s easier and faster

Falcon - weirdo

Wanda - It’s kind of obvious that they are entitled to it, legally is the only one that matters here, you know?

Iron Man - true

Falcon - yeah

Hawkeye - we did it, gang

GreatestSpy - someone tell @Captain Ass-Merica

Captain Ass-Merica - oh, nvm, we climbed the fence

_________________

Buzzfeed @buzzfeed

24 times Steve Rogers blew us away with his looks

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @buzzfeed

I read this article every morning when I wake up.

Buzzfeed @buzzfeed

16 moments we thought ‘that’s one fine villain’ over Bucky Barnes

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @buzzfeed

And I read this one

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Why are Steve’s friends like this

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Reading our private messages and then complains about what we’re saying.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

It’s so rude

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

You were messaging in the GROUP chat

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @arrowboi

You didn’t have to read it

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I can’t
_________________

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon

Kids kept squirting me with water guns when I fly over them. They’re about to get their asses kicked.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Wanda - Y’all

Wanda - I finally passed that bitch of a course

Wanda - I graduated High School

Hawkeye - I am literally so proud

Hawkeye - I could cry

Hawkeye - My baby

Hawkeye - Wanda this is such good news!!

Hawkeye - We’re going out for ice cream

Iron Man - Ice cream? Is she 6?

Hawkeye - Shut up Tony, no one likes you

Hawkeye - Wanda loves ice cream dumbass

Wanda - I do

Hawkeye - We’ll go to that fancy place you like so much

Hawkeye - I feel like a proud dad

Iron Man - You’re acting like it as well

Hawkeye - couldn’t care less

_________________

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

Everyone who thinks Pepper isn’t the strongest Avenger is a fool

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Emergency. Wedding Planners of Twitter please help. What’s the best seating layout, for the ceremony, when I have like 400 people coming.

Honey Wed @honeyweddings In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Circle, facing into the altar?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @honeyweddings

Then some people won’t be able to see me

Honey Wed @honeyweddings In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Trad layout with the people you like the most/are the most important at the front and then as it gets further away you like them less?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @honeyweddings

I like how this one lets people know how I feel about them tbh but we have Official People coming, like world leaders, and Steve wouldn’t let me put them in the back

Honey Wed @honeyweddings In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

This is a tricky case. How traditional do you want it to be?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @honeyweddings

This is hardly traditional

Honey Wed @honeyweddings In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

What about tables? Like as if it was the reception?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @honeyweddings

That could work

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @honeyweddings

Actually, no I changed my mind. I like the trad layout

Bee Bee Babe @bianca-chilln In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

How the fuck you inviting 400 people over when most of your family and friends are dead

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @bianca-chilln

Well, first of, Steve and I didn’t have friends before so none of our friends are dead which makes your point irreverent. Secondly, I still have family that’s alive. Barnes breeds big. And most of them haven’t disowned me so they’re coming. Also, we have celebs and foreign dignitaries coming.

Bee Bee Babe @bianca-chilln In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Lmao, imagine having your family disown you. You deserve it.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @bianca-chilln

Bitch, is Beyonce going to your wedding? No. Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.

Chapter Text

Baby Bird @stevewilson

The Avengers as random inspobots I generated ~*~ A thread ~*~

Baby Bird @stevewilson In reply to @stevewilson

Bruce

Bruce Inspo

Baby Bird @stevewilson In reply to @stevewilson

Tony

Tony Inspo

Baby Bird @stevewilson In reply to @stevewilson

Rhodey

Rhodey Inspo

Baby Bird @stevewilson In reply to @stevewilson

Nat

Nat Inspo

Baby Bird @stevewilson In reply to @stevewilson

Wanda

Wanda Inspo

Baby Bird @stevewilson In reply to @stevewilson

Clint

Clint Inspo

Baby Bird @stevewilson In reply to @stevewilson

Spider-Man

Peter Inspo

Baby Bird @stevewilson In reply to @stevewilson

Pepper!

Pepper Inspo

Baby Bird @stevewilson In reply to @stevewilson

Sam

Sam Inspo

Baby Bird @stevewilson In reply to @stevewilson

Bucky

Bucky Inspo

Baby Bird @stevewilson In reply to @stevewilson

Steve

Steve Inspo

Chapter Text

The Avengers @avengers

#askavengers

 

Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers In reply to @avengers

Weirdest mission you’ve ever been on?? #askavengers

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @MialovesAvengers

One man dressed in all orange and had an orange thrower but the oranges exploded when they hit you :/

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @flying_falcon

We smelt like oranges for weeks.

 

Addy @addddddyy In reply to @avengers

#askavengers Best villain outfit??

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @addddddyy

A few weeks ago we fought someone in a rat mask. Like, full head helmet but rat themed.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

What about the time we fought the guy who had sewn fake arms onto his coat?

Wanda Maximoff @scarletxwitch In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

He tried to hit me with one of the arms but, obviously, he couldn’t control them so he tried to throw it at me but it was sown on so it didn’t come off.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @scarletxwitch

Yeah, him, what a weirdo.

Bruce Banner @dr_banner In reply to @addddddyy

We fight a lot of people with an odd fashion sense.

 

Emily || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @avengers

Best Villain entrance? #askavengers

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

One Hydra agent actually spun around on a chair when we arrived.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

The only thing he was lacking was a white cat on his lap

 

Stucky Lover @kirahiggs In reply to @avengers

#askavengers When are Steve and Bucky getting married???!??!?

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @kirahiggs

Oh god, who the hell knows

Stucky Lover @kirahiggs In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Didn’t invitations go out?

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @kirahiggs

Yup, and then we all got another letter saying the wedding had been postponed because Bucky had changed his mind on what he wanted.

 

Clint B @hawkifan In reply to @avengers

Aside from yourself has the best power on the team? #askavengers

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @hawkifan

Tony

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @hawkifan

Tony

Wanda Maximoff @scarletxwitch In reply to @hawkifan

Tony

Bruce Banner @dr_banner In reply to @hawkifan

Tony

Spider-Man @spiderman In reply to @hawkifan

Tony

Rhodey @war_machine_rox In reply to @hawkifan

Tony

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @hawkifan

Tony

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @hawkifan

Tony

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @hawkifan

Tony

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @hawkifan

Wait, what the fuck?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Your power is money mate

 

Elisa @Elisa24 In reply to @avengers

Who - besides you - has the best weapon on the team? #askavengers

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @Elisa24

Bucky

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @cptrogers1918

All Bucky has is a metal arm and a glare

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @flying_falcon

Yeah I guess

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @cptrogers1918

Omg you think it’s hot

Pepper @PepPotts In reply to @flying_falcon

Alright, that’s enough. Next question.

 

Rach @rachinwonderland In reply to @avengers

#askavengers For Steve and Bucky - what is the oddest thing about this century?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @rachinwonderland

The amount of waste, we did grow up during the depression.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @rachinwonderland

Not enough minigolf

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Yeah, that’s true

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @cptrogers1918

Pardon?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @arrowboi

Minigolf was super popular  

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

It’s not unpopular now

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @arrowboi

Not really. Steve and I went like most weekends because it was so cheap. I always won.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

That’s not true.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Yes, it is!!

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

It was 50-50

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

I seem to recall you pouting all the way home when we were 18 because I won six of the six games we had played that day.

 

Lulu @alision234 In reply to @avengers

Pepper, tell us something about Tony! #askavengers

Pepper @PepPotts In reply to @alision234

Tony can become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics expert in one night but he doesn’t know his own phone number.   

 

The Avengers @AvengersFanAccount03 In reply to @avengers

Spiderman, when will you reveal your identity? #askavengers

Spider-Man @spiderman In reply to @AvengersFanAccount03

Friday

The Avengers @AvengersFanAccount03 In reply to @spiderman

Really??

Spider-Man @spiderman In reply to @AvengersFanAccount03

It will be a Friday

The Avengers @AvengersFanAccount03 In reply to @spiderman

You got my hopes up

Spider-Man @spiderman In reply to @AvengersFanAccount03

Sorry

 

tony Tony TOny TONy TONY @tonystark1fan In reply to @avengers

#askavengers Tony you’re a billionaire yet you wear Walmart shirts. Why

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @tonystark1fan

Walmart Pun T-Shirts > Suits

 

Captain Iron @stonyfannn In reply to @avengers

Most annoying thing Steve and Bucky do? #askavengers

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @stonnyfann

Talk in morse code during meetings. They think we don’t know what they’re saying.

Rhodey @war_machine_rox In reply to @stonnyfann

They’re able to look at each for a moment and know what the other is thinking and it’s really annoying. Especially when they’re in a formal setting and suddenly both are laughing.

Pepper @PepPotts In reply to @stonnyfann

Everything they tweet.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @stonnyfann

Use their status to get free things. This is good when it helps me but annoying when it’s just me and Bucky because he doesn’t get me in places. Like last week we went bowling and guess who had to pay and who didn’t.

Bruce Banner @dr_banner In reply to @stonnyfann

I’m not a prude but they are so sexual it’s kinda scary.

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @stonnyfann

Share seats. Like all the time.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @stonnyfann

Very prone to breaking things

Wanda Maximoff @scarletxwitch In reply to @stonnyfann

Bucky constantly asks me to get stuff with my powers so he doesn’t have to stand up.

Spider-Man @spiderman In reply to @stonnyfann

They say 30’s slang as if we know what they’re talking about. Steve is especially bad at this.

 

Oranges @jayz In reply to @avengers

#askavengers Best clapbacks on the team?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @jayz

I’d like to say me but we all know it’s Pepper.

 

Red Pencil @starcross In reply to @avengers

#askavengers - dumbest reason for getting kicked out of a bar??

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @starcross

Turns out when I’m drunk my aim isn’t as good.

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @arrowboi

He called darts freestyle acupuncture to the bouncer and we were asked to leave

Red Pencil @starcross In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Why did you call it that tho?

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @starcross

Because I wasn’t hitting the target.

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @arrowboi

It was my target, you just came and I got my cover blown and nearly got shot because Clint hit his bodyguard with a dart.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Why do all your stories end with you nearly getting shot?

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Because I’m shot at a lot. Not that deep.

 

Steven Barnes @stevenRs In reply to @avengers

#askavengers Steve, something that freaked you out when you arrived in the 21st century?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @stevenRs

I was given Stramonium in cigarettes from when I was a kid to treat asthma. Turns out it’s a hallucinogenic drug in the same family as belladonna and all three added ingredients are used as hardcore drugs today.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Steve was just flying high for most of his life. Explains a lot.

 

Stripey G @sunshineandstripes In reply to @avengers

Worst moment in the tower? #askavengers

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sunshineandstripes

Bucky walked in and Tony giggles, saying “Winter is coming”. Because he is a dork. But, then, Steve - without looking up from his newspaper - goes, very calm, “Winter came this morning”. Bucky grins and nods happily, winking at me. It was the worst thing I’ve ever seen.

 

Pepper Potts Love Bot @lexa73 In reply to @avengers

#askavengers Pepper. Guys, I need more Pepper content. Please.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @lexa73

Every single moment.

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @lexa73

When she killed Aldrich Killian. Like, damn, did y’all see that?

Rhodey @war_machine_rox In reply to @lexa73

We go out for coffee as often as we can and it’s just the best. I can’t decide on one moment but whenever she complains about Tony I get a laugh

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @lexa73

For a while, Tony set the tower up to play ‘God is a Woman’ by Ariana Grande whenever Pepper walked in the room.

Spider-Man @spiderman In reply to @lexa73

She’s literally just the best. Like I’m struggling to give an exact moment when she was awesome.

Spider-Man @spiderman In reply to @spiderman

Oh, wait so one day I was late to a thing and she called them and explained that I was late and why; turns out this person was a huge Pepper fan and I definitely did not get in trouble. It was great and she was so shy about having fans

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @lexa73

There’s a note of the fridge that says ‘food only, nothing electronic. Signed Pepper’ and I think that demonstrates how much Pepper has to put up with.

Bruce Banner @dr_banner In reply to @lexa73

She’s great company in the lab. Way smarter than anyone gives her credit for.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @lexa73

Steve and I were not fully decent once so she just closed her eyes to yell at us for being inappropriate online again.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @lexa73

I know it’s been said but she is actually kind. Sat with me for a long time when I woke up to help me adapt to the future.

Wanda Maximoff @scarletxwitch In reply to @lexa73

She got monopoly banned on games nights because she’s good everyone else gets annoyed.

 

Maxi-Most @lovemesomewanada In reply to @avengers

Wanda, what’s everyone's name on your phone??? #askevengers

Wanda Maximoff @scarletxwitch In reply to @lovemesomewanda

Clint - Old Man. Bucky - Hydra Experiment 1 (I’m 2 and he chose it). Natasha - Natusik. Steve - Older Man. Sam - Dumbass (Bucky hacked all of our phones and I can’t be bothered to change mine back. Sam doesn’t mind). Pepper - Peps

Wanda Maximoff @scarletxwitch In reply to @lovemesomewanda

Spider-Man - baby. Rhodey - The sane one. Bruce - Doc. Tony - Anton.

 

Rhodey is #1 thanks @warmachinerox In reply to @avengers

#askavengers So, Rhodey outranks Captain America right? Have you ever made Steve do things?

Rhodey @war_machine_rox In reply to @warmachinerox

No, I haven’t.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @warmachinerox

I have begged for it but alas

Rhodey @war_machine_rox In reply to @warmachinerox

He did salute me a lot in the beginning.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @war_machine_rox

It’s what I was supposed to do

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @cptrogers1918

I have photos

Rhodey @war_machine_rox In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Barnes never did

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @war_machine_rox

Because I didn’t care about respect. I never saluted Steve either and I never will.

Rhodey @war_machine_rox In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

He could have made you during the war

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @war_machine_rox

I had no reservations about punching Steve before he was a super soldier.

 

Lucky Lucy @lucylo123 In reply to @avengers

#askavengers Natasha favourite mission you’ve been on??

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @

I once went on a mission at a resort and my target, who I had to seduce (gross) was hella rich so he gave me all these luxuries and his wife was really nice. We’re still in contact. I think she’s a spy now as well.

 

Stanning Steve @Stevestan In reply to @avengers

What was the best training you ever did?

Wanda Maximoff @scarletxwitch In reply to @Stevestan

Dodgeball.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @Stevestan

Me (in suit), Steve, Bucky, Nat and Clint against Tony (in suit), Rhodey (in suit), SpiderMan and Wanda.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

Guess who won?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

It was us. By a lot.

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @cptrogers1918

We also put Steve and Bucky on opposing teams once and they got everyone out real quick so they could face each other.

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @blackwidow_baby

No one won that time. They called it a tie and made out.

 

B @Bburtqa In reply to @avengers

Most flexible on the team? Like physically #askavengers

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @Bburtqa

Natasha and Bruce.

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @Bburtqa

It’s Bruce. He does a lot of yoga. Can do the splits like no one else.

Chapter Text

The Hulks A Bitch @avengerscanatme

Don’t listen to them. Wanda Maximoff isn’t American

Maxi-Most @lovemesomewanada In reply to @avengerscanatme

That’s a known fact?????

The Hulks A Bitch @avengerscanatme In reply to @lovemesomewanda

Those two sentences aren’t connected.

Maxi-Most @lovemesomewanada In reply to @avengerscanatme

What the fuck

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and James Barnes

Bucky - I can’t believe you.

Bucky - Unstanning.

Sugar Daddy - What?

Bucky - I can’t.

Bucky - Like

Bucky - my heart is

Bucky - gone

Sugar Daddy - don’t know what you’re talking about babe

Sugar Daddy - care to explain

Bucky - I’m putting my hand (left) in the freezer right now

Sugar Daddy - Why????????????

Bucky - So I can touch you when you get home

Sugar Daddy - What did I do? Please tell me.

Bucky - We tell each other everything Steve

Bucky - Surely you know what I’m talking about rn

Sugar Daddy - ohhh yeah I know

Bucky - I can’t believe you. Why didn’t you tell me

Sugar Daddy - Never got round to it.

_________________

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

The audacity of some people. I house you and this is thanks I get

Baby Bird @stevewilson In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

What happened?

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @stevewilson

They pumped up about 100 yoga balls and spread them around the house. I can’t get anywhere because there are so many of these fucking things.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

What shampoo do I use?

91ExkHJ-eLL

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

It’s a joke. No one tell Steven

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

This is what will happen: *long sigh* “Bucky, we’ve talked about this.”

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Sorry, Steve, I’m a natural born comedian.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

And killer but that’s beside the point

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Hydralicious.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Makes me laugh.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I was right, does not make Steven laugh.

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man - alright this has gone too far

Iron Man - Making a fool of me in my own home

Captain America’s Bitch - is this about the yoga balls? Because you decided to tweet about them.

Captain America’s Bitch - Granted, I took many videos and they’re about to be uploaded to the Web but whatever

Iron Man - No, asshole, it’s about The Hulks A Bitch

Captain America’s Bitch - Rude

Falcon - they just updated.

Wanda - about me!

Hawkeye - is that an excited ! or an angry one?

Wanda - excited.

Hawkeye - cool

Iron Man - Who the fuck is it?

Iron Man - And why the fuck can I not trace it

Captain America’s Bitch - what happens when you try to trace it?

Bruce - it goes back to Tony’s computer.

Bruce - as if it was posted on that computer.

Captain Ass-Merica - weird

GreatestSpy - don’t we have cameras everywhere?

Iron Man - Yeah but none face the computers so we have some privacy and JARVIS is programmed not to record history.

Iron Man - Y’alls privacy pissing me off.

Captain America’s Bitch - didn’t JARVIS release our history

Captain America’s Bitch - I was put on blast for looking up alien shit

Iron Man - Accident. I tightened the programming so it didn’t happen again

Falcon - Shame, it was funny

Falcon - Bucky’s an idiot.

Captain America’s Bitch - What the fuck?

Falcon - Ha

Bruce - Bucky being an idiot aside, what can we do to figure it out?

Captain America’s Bitch - It’s probably you. No one else calls out the hulk like that.

Bruce - Why would I choose a name that points to me?

Captain America’s Bitch - Because you have the perfect excuse, that you wouldn’t choose something that pointed to you.

Bruce - Well, it’s not me.

Iron Man - No one is innocent until we find out who did it

GreatestSpy - What happened to Innocent-until-proven-guilty?

Captain America’s Bitch - Steve knows about that.

Captain Ass-Merica - Not here Bucky.

Falcon - What??

Iron Man - Is this about this dumbass YT channel? If not shut up but if yes continue

GreatestSpy - They’re not going to continue

Iron Man - Yeah, I guess. Okay.

Iron Man -  Anyway. We are all criminals.

Captain America’s Bitch - I’m not!

Falcon - Dude.

Captain America’s Bitch - I was cleared of all that shit

Hawkeye - Last week you jumped a fence and trespassed on clearly private property because you wanted to get to the restaurant faster.

Captain America’s Bitch has removed Hawkeye from the chat

GreatestSpy - As much as I wish we could. He bitches too much when he’s not involved.

GreatestSpy has added Hawkeye to the chat

Hawkeye - Fuck you Bucky.

Captain Ass-Merica - Been there, done that.

Falcon - Steve!!

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and James Barnes

Sugar Daddy - Are you still angry at me?

Bucky has changed Sugar Daddy’s name to +012887662

+012887662 - Bucky we don’t have phone numbers.

+012887662 - did you just make one up?

Bucky - I’m so close to blocking you

+012887662 - I took videos

+012887662 - And I promise next time I go you can come

Bucky - Promise?

+012887662 - Yes.

Bucky - I still can’t believe you went to a dog costume parade without me.

Bucky - But I forgive you. ‘Cause you’re cute.

+012887662 - There was a pair of dogs dressed up like us

Bucky - Did you get a photo?

+012887662 - Yes

Bucky has changed +012887662 name to Stevie

_________________

Stanning Steve @Stevestan

Y’ALL LISTEN UP HAVE YOU SEEN THIS NEW CAMPAIGN STEVE FUCKING ROGERS DID? I HAVE DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN

tumblr_ppj5z77X1t1u1kyq6o4_540

tumblr_ppj5z77X1t1u1kyq6o3_540

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Yeah, Steve is my drug dealer. My dopamine dealer.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Dopamine isn’t a drug, dumbass

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

I’m aware

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Then why did you tweet it

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

Because he is my dopamine dealer

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

That’s sweet in a weird way

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

Thanks

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I am also aware that dopamine isn’t a drug. I do have qualifications in medicine.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Wait, what?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Yeah, like, almost as much as Sam

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

He’s actually pretty good

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Why??

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

I broke my arm or maybe my leg and had to go back to base to get it fixed. Hydra didn’t want to waste time on “ничего такого” as they said so I was trained to fix myself on the go.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

What does ничего такого mean?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Not sure

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Thought you spoke Russian?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Sometimes.

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

It means ‘Nothing’

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Lmao that’s sad

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Wait what does отвратительная собака mean???

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Disgusting dog, why?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Affectionate nickname

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I’m not calling you that

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

No, please don’t. I quite like кукла

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

What does that mean?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Don't know, something sweet I think

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Doll. I’m not going to call you something mean, Buck.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @cptrogers1918

Wait, Steve speaks Russian?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

I can get by. Better at German. I’ve also spoken Russian in front of you.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

He’s even better at Irish, ay bábóg

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

What’s that?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Baby doll

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Gross

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Are we all just ignoring the fact that Bucky could write Russian but didn’t know what it meant? How does that work?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

It’s because I have a vivid memory of someone carving it into my leg - I think when I punched someone I was supposed to protect IDK - and I can see it in my mind.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

That will do it.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

Yup.

_________________

Captain Iron @stonyfannn

I always see Steve in blue, like why?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @stonyfann

‘Cause Bucky’s coat was blue during the war. I started wearing it because I felt like I was with him.

_________________

B @Bburtqa

Y’all not to get fucking depressed on main but look at what I just found -*-Thread-*-

B @Bburtqa In reply to @Bburtqa

Okay, So I was in class and we were talking about Alexander Pierce, who is an asshole but anyway, they put up a photo of him and I was struck with how much he looks like Steve Rogers!!

B @Bburtqa In reply to @Bburtqa

Like, look at this!
tumblr_inline_nsphqgdVBb1rw8iem_500

B @Bburtqa In reply to @Bburtqa

So, I’m sitting in class and suddenly this thought grips me and holy hell it’s sad. Nearly cried in History bois. But, basically, it goes

B @Bburtqa In reply to @Bburtqa

Young Pierce, looking a lot like the love of the assets life, steps onto the scene of Hydra as an upcoming agent. Hydra is baffled because the asset just responds this random dude better than others.

B @Bburtqa In reply to @Bburtqa

Sure, they have to torture him and mindwipes are still a thing but hey, he’s misbehaving less and less.

B @Bburtqa In reply to @Bburtqa

After class, I shared my thoughts with a friend and she brought up something else. The basic idea of Hydra is ‘the greater good’ right? It’s a fucked up version, yeah, but it’s there. And that sounds a lot like Mr Captain America. Whom Bucky has spent his life following.

B @Bburtqa In reply to @Bburtqa

Another reason why the asset is suddenly listening more and more. Behaving and following orders.

B @Bburtqa In reply to @Bburtqa

And Pierce fucking takes it. Rising through the ranks until he’s top dog. And is then shot by Natasha Fucking Romanoff, aka my main bitch.

B @Bburtqa In reply to @Bburtqa

Burn in hell Pierce. Hate you.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Bburtqa  

Jesus Christ

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

That’s extremely fucked. But could it be true?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Don’t know. Pierce is - was lmao - a real dick so I couldn’t put it past him.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Anything to be the top dog, right?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

Yeah. Lots of people used me to advance their career.

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

It sounds like something a Hydra agent would do though.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

It does.

B @Bburtqa In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I feel bad you weren’t supposed to see this.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Bburtqa  

All good, nothing I haven’t thought about. People used me all the time, Pierce wasn’t any better.

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson

Sam - Hey

Steve - What’s up?

Sam - I feel it’s my duty as best friend to make sure you’re alright.

Steve - what do you mean?

Sam - That Twitter thread was really intense Steve.

Sam - You already have guilt issues around this and seeing that wouldn’t make that any better.

Steve - It wasn’t fun to think someone used my likeness to manipulate Bucky like that but I can’t do anything about it. He’s 6 feet under and I’ve got Bucky back so I win.

Sam - Okay.

_________________

Private Message Between James Barnes and Sam Wilson

Sam - Hey

Bucky - Nat and Clint are taking the rest of the mission, I’m on my way home.

Sam - Sometimes I forget how much you to love each other.

Bucky - I care about him more than anything and I know how much that would have affected him.

Sam - You’re good at knowing how he feels

Bucky - Well, yeah.

Bucky - He’s good at hiding it as well, but not to me.

Bucky - You’re getting better at figuring him out as well.

Sam - He’s like a brick wall.

Bucky - A Russian doll of fake emotions

Sam - How’d you come up with that

Bucky - GPS just said Russia lol

Sam - I hate you

Bucky - please

_________________

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918

For people that hate each other, Sam and Bucky do spend a lot of time together.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @cptrogers191

He said my name first because he likes me more @sgtbarnes1917

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

Die in a ditch

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @flying_falcon and @sgtbarnes1917

True love.

Chapter Text

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Okay, I’ve been asked this so many times I feel like I should just make a thread. What happened after I rescued Steve from the river when Hydra fell? So, ~*~ thread ~*~

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

The only people who actually know this are Steve and Sam. Natasha probably knows more than I told her. Even my therapists don’t know everything. But I think I’m ready to tell.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

So, first off, I didn’t leave until I knew Steve was alive. If another minute had gone by without him moving I would have started CPR. He started breathing and I knew that Steve was important so they would come looking for him. I felt leaving him was safe.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

The first thing I did was I went to my base. A bank vault in downtown DC. I was scared and not sure what was happening. I knew that I knew Steve but I didn’t know how and I knew that what he said was important but I didn’t know why.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I did what I was programmed to do. Go back to Hydra and get new missions specs. I was never in charge of what was happening, I carried out orders. So I went back to the bank vault. There were two guards who tried to shot me when I walked in. If this had happened an hour previously I would have let them shot me.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

But I knew, somewhere, to stop it. So I blocked the bullets and knocked them both unconscious. I destroyed the chair they used, which felt amazing but also terrifying and panic-attack-inducing and got some new clothes before leaving.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

As much as I hate Hydra today I was very much brainwashed and leaving that base, not waiting for my handlers? It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I didn’t know if I was doing the right thing or not. I didn’t know anything. But I did it.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Okay, so this is definitely illegal and don’t do it but I broke into this first-floor apartment and stole some clothes. Civvies so I could blend in. I then headed out and found a library. I knew the basics of the world so I knew how to use a computer for things beside hacking which I had been taught.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

First I looked up Captain America and as very surprised to find a whole lot of pictures of me right beside my mission. But was it me? I didn’t know, maybe I just looked like this Bucky person? But I remembered falling from the train before I read about it.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Then I went on to look up myself and tried to relearn what they had wiped. Of course, a lot of it was actually wrong.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

But I got the basics and now understood that I had worked with Captain America. That I lived in Brooklyn and was presumed dead because I fell off the train during the war. Also that I was way older than I look.  

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

That was hard to take in. For 70 years I hadn’t considered myself a person let alone someone with a back story so to find out I had family and friends? That I had a life? It was hard and honestly took me a while to believe.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

It was then that Hydra decided to be fucks again and they turned up. They had tracked me there but because I knew what I was doing and I spotted them before they came inside and made my getaway. There’s a few Hydra checkpoints around the place and I went there to get more supplies.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

There I found some money and cut the tracker out of my leg. I found a hat and went to another library. Props to the libraries for staying open during all this. Basically, I continued to research. The data leak happened so I read all of that until I was kicked out later on.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

This really nice, young, homeless man found me, thought I was high, and pointed me to a motel. I had enough money to get two rooms so I got him one as well because I had this memory of a skinny kid getting sick because he was outside and I couldn’t let that happen to him.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Anyway next day I went back to the library, continued reading and watching as Captain America and co continued stopping Hydra. I knew who Natasha was, I had no idea who Sam was and I was starting to remember Steve.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Well, I knew that I was supposed to kill Sam but didn’t really want to I didn’t pursue that. I also knew he could fly.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I basically did this for the next week. Researching myself and reading through the data leak, staying in motels and getting a lot of concerned looks from Miriam the head librarian, who is also the nicest women I’ve ever meet.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Maybe two weeks later I headed back to Steve’s apartment. Don’t know why I did but I felt like I needed to. I broke in through the window and looked through all of his stuff. I also took a photo of us in the war that was framed. Sorry, Steve.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Went back the next day because I liked the recorded player and music Steve had. Imagine my surprise when Steve is sitting in his kitchen when I swung in. He looked me up and down and then turned back to his newspaper, faking being casual.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I turned on the music and basically stared at all the pictures for another hour. Steve, silently, gave me some of our things from Brooklyn, some of his drawings and a pamphlet from the Captain America exhibit. Also some money and clothes. He didn’t say anything the entire time.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

When the music stopped I left and headed to the exhibit.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I went there a few times, reading about myself and Steve. It was very busy, a lot of people like Steve. It was here that I started getting confused. Because I could very clearly remember being with Steve from childhood but nothing mentioned that, instead they talked about Steve and Peggy.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

The stuff Steve had given me didn’t indicate a relationship either so I didn’t really understand. The next day I saw Steve was in New York so I went back to the apartment. He, because he is the best, had left me more stuff on the kitchen bench. I found a box of sketchbooks in the cupboard because I absolutely started going through his stuff again.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

These drawings were not so PG and were very gay so that answered that question.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Steve, and Sam, were still in NY so I decided to break into Sam’s apartment - sorry Sam - to find out who he was. I couldn’t find anything linking him to Hydra or any other villain like organization. I didn’t need to kill Sam anymore.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

It had been about a month and a half now, since the fall, and this is when Nat found me. She asked me if I had any questions, I asked how I knew her, she explained the red room. She asked if I wanted to see Steve. I didn’t. I still didn’t know who I was.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

She smiled and handed me a plane ticket to Moscow and a train ticket to a small town in Russia. I knew the name but I didn’t know why. She said that they were handling the fall and were getting rid of Hydra. She also said Steve is fine but misses you. 

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Then she told me to look there. So I did. Went to Russia, went to Germany, when to Romania, went to Sokovia, went to London, went to Latvia and went back to Russia. I found parts of myself everywhere. Different people had used me for different things. The hardest was in Russia where I had first gone.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Steve and co arrived in Sokovia when I was in Russia and I watched the news. Saw that they were doing good and fighting Hydra. So I decided to go back to America and maybe go and see Steve. I was more of a person now. Not fully but I was better.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

When I arrived in NY Natasha greeted me with packs on all the Avengers. I had already read a lot about it. While in Hydra bases I had logged on and gone through their data as well. But she had annotated it with her own views. She thought all of the Avengers were good people, especially Steve and Sam (and Clint but whatever).

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I went back to DC for about week, most of Hydra was gone so I went back to NY and went on a Captain America tour. Steve turned up about halfway through that tour, said hi to everyone and handed me a note. I still have it.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

“This tour doesn’t have a lot of the facts. I wouldn’t trust it. Come to the tower when you’re ready. You’re welcome here” and then a passcode to get on the Avengers elevator to the top floors of the tower. It had two Xs at the bottom.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I continued the tour, aware that a lot of it was wrong. Steve and I shared a house because we were in love not because we were poor - we were also poor though. Then I went back to my little abandoned apartment for the night. I think I read that note a thousand times.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I wasn’t ready to Steve just yet and I will tell you all why. I looked a sight. For 70 years I hadn’t thought about things like food or sleep or cutting my hair (aside from that time I cut it because it was getting in the way of my viewfinder, fuck the 70’s man).

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Anyway, I needed to get ready to see Steve. That night was the first night I had slept through. A whole 7 hours.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

So I headed to a barber, Paul Mole Barber has been open since 1913 and I remember my dad going there once or twice. I got an appointment, walked in, and showed them a picture of me from the war and asked for that cut. The guy knew what was up but didn’t say anything. He was awesome.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I found my way to the church Steve and I had gone to when we were kids and sat there for a while. After that, I got some new clothes and headed to a motel. An entire meal and another 7 hours of sleep later I was ready.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

The next morning I went to the tower, punched in my code and went up. I was ready to be with Steve again. It had been so long.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I went up and all of them were in this huge living room. The elevator doors opened up, everyone jumped up and kind of stared at me. A few looked like they wanted to fight. As if they could take me lol. Steve had the biggest smile on his face when I stepped out of the elevator.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Steve walked towards me, slowly like I was about to run which seems funny but was the best option for him to chose. I was honestly terrified. Tony’s tower talks. No one else came close to us which suited me well.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

When Steve was close enough I kind of just put my hand on his chest. Don’t judge, you would too. This was the first time I had touched Steve with softness in decades. I won’t be forgetting that feeling anytime soon.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Everyone stood there for maybe a minute before Steve’s grin kinda turned a mix of goofy and love stuck. He says “Hi Buck” and I grab his shirt and pull him down. That was not a well-done kiss and I’m 90% sure I bit him but it was everything.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Tony nearly fainted.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Steve grabs my hand, kisses it because he is the cutest dork, and drags me into the elevator. We go up to his floor. Now, at this time I knew more than before but I was still extremely confused about a lot of things and so the two of us sat there for hours going through my notebook.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

My notebook was filled with scattered memories and questions. Steve answered all of them and expanded on my memories. We basically just stayed in his room for a week and I don’t think we stopped touching for about a month.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Steve introduced me to the Avengers after that, we had dinner together. I don’t think I spoke to them that night. Sam and Nat came to our room afterwards and officially introduced themselves. Sam was clearly only there because Steve asked, he did not want to talk to me but we got past that pretty fast. Like within fifteen minutes.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

It took about two weeks for me to be comfortable enough to be alone with the other Avengers, Sam Nat or Steve stayed with me for a long time. Then I was okay with Clint and the others came after that. Now I will happily engage in pillow fights with them all.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

And as you all know it was leaked that I was there and people started connecting the dots. It was about three months after I arrived that we announced to the world who I was and what had happened. And the rest was history.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

And now I’m here. On Twitter with Steve napping on my lap. So life is pretty good, to be honest.

Chapter Text

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

https://stuckytours.weebly.com 

 

 

Chapter Text

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Since you all asked, and because I’m nice; The keychains you get and the hat you can buy on my tour.

Screen Shot 2019-05-16 at 4.47.48 PM

Screen Shot 2019-05-16 at 4.47.40 PM

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Our tour

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

_________________

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi

Man, fuck spider man.

Spider-Man @spiderman In reply to @arrowboi

It’s Spider-Man

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @spiderman

I honestly don’t care.

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @arrowboi

What did he do this time?

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Got stabbed in the leg and goes “my spidey senses are tingling”.

_________________

Rhodey is #1 thanks @warmachinerox

I,,,,, y’all are getting on my last nerve. Stop ignoring my boy Rhodey.

Rhodey is #1 thanks @warmachinerox In reply to @warmachinerox

If I see another “AVENGER” edit without Rhodey I’m going to scream

_________________

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby

If a man touches you without consent cut his hands off.

Chad Brown #beingwhiteisntbad @ChadBoiB In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Fuck you. If a man touches you without ‘consent’ then you should be grateful he thinks you’re attractive. Women are fucking disgusting.

Addy @addddddyy In reply to @ChadBoiB

This idiot really going against the Black Fucking Widow

Addy @addddddyy

His account is fucking gone omg. Did Nat kill him?

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @addddddyy

No comment.

Emily || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @blackwidow_baby

I stan a queen

_________________

Jaz loves Tony Stark @starkxtony

I just want to know something about Tony. Anything new I’m starving here.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @starkxtony

What do you want to know?

Jaz loves Tony Stark @starkxtony In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Omg omg omg anything??????

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @starkxtony

I am Iron Man

Jaz loves Tony Stark @starkxtony In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Honestly the fact you’ve replied to me is enough. I’ll take it.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @starkxtony

Uhhhh I honestly don’t know what to say. I’m currently working on a water gun that pulls water from the air?

Jaz loves Tony Stark @starkxtony In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Why?

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @starkxtony

Water gun competition next Saturday and I’m in it to win it.

Wanda Maximoff @scarletxwitch In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

You’ve just given away your plan

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @scarletxwitch

Hush

Jaz loves Tony Stark @starkxtony In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Water gun competition? Like with the Avengers???

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @starkxtony

Yeah. We’re doing that, hide and seek and probably truth and dare.

Emily || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

Someone needs to live stream it or something

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Considering a few people on the team have no sense of privacy (cough barnes cough) it’ll probably be live-tweeted.

Jaz loves Tony Stark @starkxtony In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

I’d die

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @starkxtony

Anything else you need to know?

Pepper @PepPotts In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

He just updated all his contacts, he won’t shut up about it, tell them that.

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @starkxtony and @PepPotts

Of course! This is why Pepper is CEO

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @starkxtony

So, Bucky is ‘Defrosted Popsicle Assassin’ (that didn’t change), Steve is ‘Defrosted Capsicle with the good Ass’, Sam is ‘Angel’, Natasha is ‘Natalie’, Clint is ‘Katniss’, Wanda is ‘Toil and Trouble’, Spider-Man is ‘PP’, Bruce is ‘Science Bro’ and Rhodey is ‘Rhodey the Brodey’.

Pepper Potts Love Bot @lexa73 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

What about Pepper???

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @lexa73

It was ‘The one and only love of my life, the best women I’ve ever meet, my baby’ but she didn’t like it so then it was Pepper with all the coloured emoji hearts. She didn’t like that either so now it’s just Pepper with one heart.

_________________

Peter is 100% Spider-Man (and is a terrible liar) [whole school minus Peter and Ned]

MJ - ‘PP’

Flash - ??

MJ - Tony Stark’s tweet

Flash - Yeah??

MJ - Peter Parker

MJ - PP

Flash - OH FUCK

MJ - Yeah

MJ - How did that take you so long

_________________

Desire @DezieNoah

Alright guys, what the fuck?

Desire @DezieNoah In reply to @DezieNoah

So I’m at work rn in downtown LA, just chillin ya know? When these sirens go off. So being the nosey bitch I am I go to the window to find out what’s happening. There’s a guy standing in the middle of the street yelling into a megaphone. My friend - another nosey bitch - Shea opens the window.

Desire @DezieNoah In reply to @DezieNoah

Basically, he’s decided that he wants to rule the world, don’t we all? But he also has these weird whips that are bright red and occasionally shot sparks. He whips it at a car but nothing happens so the car just drives into him

Desire @DezieNoah In reply to @DezieNoah

Alright, he got back up. Yelled after the car and the driver flipped him off.

Desire @DezieNoah In reply to @DezieNoah

Someone threw something at him but most people are kind of just ignoring him. He clearly is annoyed at this and is yelling at specific people. “Girl in the red coat! I will destroy you!” She ignores him.

Desire @DezieNoah In reply to @DezieNoah

An Avenger jet has arrived.

Desire @DezieNoah In reply to @DezieNoah

FUCK FUCK it got serious! Dude grabs a little kid and a gun like this is serious.

Desire @DezieNoah In reply to @DezieNoah

Okay so the back of the jet opens and Steve just jumps out. Like, the jet is probably twenty stories up. Steve just lands, rolls, jumps up and throws his shield at the guy. It was so well done I have to think he’s practised this before which kind of cracks me up

Desire @DezieNoah In reply to @DezieNoah

The shield knocks the guy over, Steve grabs the kid and gets him away to the sidewalk before going after the guy again. The guy tries to shot Steve but Bucky literally jumps from the jet and landed ON him, knocking him down. Fucking amazing!!!

Desire @DezieNoah In reply to @DezieNoah

Dude doesn’t get up and Bucky starts making out with Steve.

Desire @DezieNoah In reply to @DezieNoah

Natasha and Sam arrived and Sam literally shots a gun at them, aiming just above their heads. They didn’t break apart tho.

Desire @DezieNoah In reply to @DezieNoah

Nat got the guy and handcuffed him. He’s crying now. Sam and Nat radio someone and some police come. They put the dude in a car

Desire @DezieNoah In reply to @DezieNoah

HOLY FUCKING SHIT GUYS THIS IS NOT A DRILL HOLY FUCK I AM ABOUT TO PASS OUT

Desire @DezieNoah In reply to @DezieNoah

Bucky turns and grins at Steve, says something we don’t hear. Sam throws his hands up, Natasha looks surprised. Steve nods, also grinning and looking very very excited. Then they start fucking racing to get to the jet TWENTY stories in the air

Desire @DezieNoah In reply to @DezieNoah

I AM FUCKING SCREAMING

Desire @DezieNoah In reply to @DezieNoah

BUCKY PUSHED STEVE OFF A WINDOW LEDGE LIKE FIVE STORIES UP

Desire @DezieNoah In reply to @DezieNoah

STEVE THREW HIS SHIELD AT BUCKY TO SLOW HIM DOWN

Desire @DezieNoah In reply to @DezieNoah

Sam and Nat are legit just standing there watching. Nat has her hand over her eyes so she can see them. The police are also watching and the bad-guy is still crying in the backseat

Desire @DezieNoah In reply to @DezieNoah

Okay, Steve won but by like a second.

Desire @DezieNoah In reply to @DezieNoah

This is legit the best day ever omg.

Desire @DezieNoah In reply to @DezieNoah

I can’t even walk up stairs without dying and these dudes are racing 20 stories vertically to a jet.

Desire @DezieNoah In reply to @DezieNoah

Alright, I’m done. Anyway, stream Ariana Grande and love yourself!

_________________

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam

Spider-Man just dropped his bag and it cracked my floor. What’s he carrying in there?

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

It confuses me that people think I’m the troublemaker and Stevie is the golden boy? I took him to a science convention on a date and he left to break the law for like the second time that week.

Steve Rogers #ownsme @steveO In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

You just raced Steve up twenty stories vertically?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @steveO

Steve has been begging to do something like that for weeks. I’m just a good fiance.

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

STAS. Steve, looking at his phone, “*SpiderMan, what does thicc mean?”. *SpiderMan “Like, oh god, I - it means you have a good butt? I can’t believe I just said that to Captain America”. Steve “What the fuck, Bucky?”.

_________________

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby

I need to share

Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Please share

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @MialovesAveners

Clint says something dumb, I wasn’t paying attention. Sam replies sarcastically and they start arguing. Sam says “can you just shut up?” And Clint says “no, but you can” and takes out his hearing aid

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @blackwidow_baby

It’s the funniest thing he’s ever done I swear.

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

STAS. *Spider-Man (singing) “Spider man, spider man, does whatever a spider can. Can he swing from a web? Yes, he can, from his wrist. Spoder man - (stops singing) wait what the fuck that’s not right”.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

“Why are you such a drama queen about this” “you’re such a bridezilla” “it’s just a wedding”

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Piss off. Steve and I have been through hell and back, we deserve something nice.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

This wedding will be perfect because Steve is perfect.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I will not have anything but the best for my babe, (captain) Steven Grant Rogers.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

So shut up.

_________________

Karen @karen34

I just saw Bucky Barnes running a red light and laughing as he did while The Falcon hit him in the shoulder and yelled.

_________________

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon

Clint is absolutely not allowed to play games on our phones. I think all Avengers have banned him.

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @flying_falcon

Tell them why.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @arrowboi

He sets the record to high

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @flying_falcon

That’s what I like to hear.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

I refuse to battle anyone who isn’t wearing a designer outfit. Villains need to step the fuck up.

_________________

Lucky Lucy @lucylo123

Tell me something I don’t know

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @lucylo123

I thought Spiderman was Nat’s child for a long time because she calls him ‘rebenok pauk’ which means ‘baby spider’ and he calls her ‘mama pauk’ which is ‘mama spider’.

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Dumbass

_________________

Avengers Assemble

Falcon - Guys it’s Thursday

GreatestSpy - well done

Falcon - The Hulks a Bitch is updating today

GreatestSpy - Just updated. “Pepper Potts is the leader of the Lizard People”

Falcon - Clickbait or

GreatestSpy - Nope, it’s what the videos about

GreatestSpy - All 40 minutes dedicated to his *proof*

Mother Hen - I’m not FYI

Hawkeye - Shame

Iron Man - fear not

Iron Man - I have figured out who it is

Mother Hen - How?

Iron Man - so there’s no way that someone can A) hack me and B) make it look like the video is being posted by my computer. So I did what anybody would do

Iron Man - Set up a camera facing that computer.

Falcon - It’s almost insulting that we couldn’t just figure it out

GreatestSpy - Almost

Rhodey - so who is it?

Wanda - ME!

Hawkeye - WHAt

GreatestSpy - Wanda? You did this?

Hawkeye - WHAT

Iron Man - Yup, caught her on camera

Hawkeye - I wasn’t expecting that at all

Wanda - Bucky gave me some of the ideas and Steve got some photos for me but it was mostly me :)

Hawkeye - They were in on it??????

Wanda - The entire time.

GreatestSpy - And they kept it from us??

GreatestSpy - How???

Captain Ass-Merica - We’re good at lying.

Wanda - Really good

Hawkeye - I am

Hawkeye - I can’t compute this

Mother Hen - Do you believe what you posted?

Wanda - Not all of them.

Hawkeye - Okay

Hawkeye - Wait which ones do you believe?????

Wanda - That’s for me to know.

Chapter Text

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Hey, everyone I have ever talked to? They’re going to hell.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I can’t believe no one told me about this I am screaming

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Steve actually made videos for High School

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I knew about one of them, the fitness one, but there are so many!

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

He’s the only one who isn’t going to hell simply because I can understand that he was trying to hide these things deep, deep, down. I know trauma but this shit? Way worse.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I haven’t seen any of them yet. I just found the master list video. I’m live tweeting as I watch them because it’s just so ridiculous. Steve blushed when he realised I knew.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

“I don’t know, Buck, this man came and asked me for some help a few weeks after I woke up. Said I would help out the youth.”

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

It is not helpful.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Here’s a link so you can watch them with https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndFOYQ0bCtY

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Alright, let’s fucking go

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

That intro tho

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Rappin with Cap is a dumbass name. Almost as stupid as Captain America

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

“Hi! I’m Captain America!” You can see him begging for death within a second

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Jokes on you, we didn’t get food when we were students OR soldiers.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Oh that’s actually kinda sad lmao

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

“You don’t have to be injected with a secret government super soldier serum” NO STEVE YOU DON’T

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Steve out here acting like he eats healthy. Lol no we eat shit food all the time. Pizza is so cheap now.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

That salute lmaooo he’s wishing for the ice

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Steve just confirmed that he did not enjoy it

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Number two - Safety first. SAFETY FIRST. Steve Rogers has no idea what the word safety means. ‘Oh, I’m 4 foot and have three (3) muscles? Let me go and punch someone twice times my size!’ ‘A plane? I’m jumping out of it!’ ‘A gun? I’m going to stand in front of it!’ ‘An elevator? I’m jumping out of it!’

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

This is a conversation we have often - “There were Nazis!!” “Yeah, and you still jumped out of it” “What else was I supposed to do?” “Not jump out of the elevator! I never jumped out of an elevator!”

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Last time we had this one Sam chimed in “To be fair you never had to run away from the Nazis.” “Yeah, but I would have if I knew I was supposed to!” “That doesn’t make sense.” “Yes, it does.”

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Steve got annoyed at our ‘constant and whiny arguments’ (his words) and made us stop so we never finished that conversation. I stand by my point tho - Steve should stop jumping out of things.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Should start jumping me if you know what I mean

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Death or sex. Either is fine, Surprise me, Steve

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Anyway, back to the videos. I celebrate two things on the 4th of July. Steve Rogers and Steve Rogers’ ass. This ‘great nation’ can blow itself. Stevie was born on that day.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

ILLEGAL FIREWORKS LMAO

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

In ‘33 Steve and I stole fireworks and went to a field to let them off. Others were also doing this and someone caught on fire.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Oh maybe that’s why they consider it to be bad

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

But we had a lot of fun

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

“If you’re on fire” Look I’ve been on fire before and it’s not easy to remember to stop drop and roll.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Nat just asked if Hydra lit me on fire. No, but that’s way better than the actual reason which was I just kind of touched a fire and my sleeve went up in flames?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I mean, Hydra may have lit me on fire and I don’t remember it but I don’t think so. Fire seems a bit too intense for them, they would have just locked me a room for a month or whatever.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

3, Brainpower. What could this be about

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

“I’m here to talk to you about the most important weapon” Grenades and machine guns. Bombs are also good.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Math.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

You don’t need math anymore Steve the guns do it for you

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

“But Bucky you love maths!” Yes, that’s right but that doesn’t mean I enjoyed it at school, I was just good and my teacher was like ‘do more!’ so I did. I also did Steve’s a lot of the time

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Steve would like me to inform everyone that he did my English work. It was fair. We got trouble often because we handed in near identical answers.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

But it was kind of just like: “Oh no, we had to go to detention together.” Wasn’t like we were there every day because Steve kept getting in fights. And if we weren’t then we went to each other’s houses. We spent a lot of time together.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I mean it did suck when that ruler came out. Mrs Godde really liked that one. But I didn’t have to do English sooooo

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Okay, Steve actually does like reading. Like, a lot a lot. It’s why he did my English homework for me.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

That one was boring.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

No. 5; your changing body lol

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Dramatic reveal! I love it!

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Steve’s so dramatic.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Steve, they’re going through puberty. It sucks, I would know and you wouldn’t. Apparently, you didn’t do it. But, puberty is years and is gross and you end up sad looking. You went from cute little twink to the hottest man anyone has ever seen, myself and Thor not included, so you can’t talk.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

He looks so uncomfortable when talking about human reproduction, poor Stevie. That’s for the straights, I know.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Tooth decay? Really? They couldn’t make you talk about something cool?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Gross. Head lice suck. Steve gave them to me when we were young.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I did not.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

That’s what gets you on here. Not when I talked about the time we stole fireworks and then set them off illegally? The time you gave me head lice.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Because I didn’t. You gave them to me.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Bullshit, grade 4. You got them and then you came to my house and gave them to me

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

No, I went to your house and then I got them

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

No way. My house didn’t have them until you came!

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon  

Steve just left the room, very angry and muttering about Bucky. I was very confused until I checked Twitter

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @flying_falcon

They’re having a very passionate discussion about the topic now.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @arrowboi

About head lice??

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @flying_falcon

Yeah. And now, judging by the noises I can hear, they’re making out.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @arrowboi

Shut the fuck up Clint

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Are you on Twitter while making out with Steve?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @arrowboi

Shut the fuck up Clint

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917

Y’all weirdos - Steve doesn’t swear! He’s from the olden days

The truth - Steve was raised in Brooklyn and them joined the army, he swears more than anyone I know

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

You swear more than me

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Bullshit

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

There we go

 

Chapter Text

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Chapter Text

The Avengers @avengers

Alrightly, hello everyone. Welcome to the Avengers Games

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

My name is Bucky and I have with me Clint and we will be your hosts today.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

Clint has decided there is too much pressure and has backed out.

The Avengers @avengers

Alrightly, hello everyone. Welcome to the Avengers Games

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

My name is Bucky and I will be your host today. On this lovely afternoon, we are playing two games. We are having a water gun fight, and then we are playing hide and seek.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

As stated before; I am an attention hoe with no sense of privacy so I will be live tweeting it for your amusement. “But Bucky!” You cry. “How will you live tweet and play (and win) at the same time?”

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

Fear not friends, I have come up with a great solution. Stark, who is very good at making technology FYI, helped me make it. It’s a smartwatch that is linked to this twitter account, whatever I say into this watch will be tweeted.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

I know it works because I am using it now. So we’re good to go! We’re just waiting on a few things to be ready. There was a small fire on the roof last night so some people are just covering that up with some new paint.

The Avengers @avengers

It’s beginning.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:23 we are going to our places. The teams are as follow: Team 1 - Stevie, Me, Sam. Team 2 - Tony, Rhodey, Bruce, SpiderMan. Team 3 - Nat, Clint and Wanda.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:24 one minute to go. Just so you know we’re playing a mix of laser tag and having a water fight. We have vests that register the water like laser tag but we get wet if we get hit, we also have to fill up our guns.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:25 we’ve begun. Our guns are filled already and we’re going after team 3 first. They’re our biggest worry.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:27 I’ve managed to hit Clint and Wanda. Sam and Steve are now attacking team 2 because Nat kept hitting us sad face

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

That was supposed to do the emoji

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:29 I hit Nat!

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:29 Nat hit me

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:30 team 2 is not going well. Team 3 is doing too well. I’ve made it my personal mission to fuck Nat up.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:32 I have cornered Nat and I am, BUCKY STOP LIVE TWEETING THIS, NO THE FANS NEED IT

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

Apparently, this picks up people talking to me as well lol. Good range

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:34 Nat and I both got each other a three times before going away from each other. I am now going to attack Tony or Spiderman. Oh, fuck you, Clint.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:35 I have attacked Clint. Steve and I just reconvened, he and Sam have been fucking it up and wrecked team 2. Steve was also hit a lot which makes sense because he gets shot a lot

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

I mean I get shot at a lot but it’s different.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:35 We were supposed to stay outside but that didn’t last long. I am now in the kitchen. It’s very slippery in here.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:38 Sam is an absolute beast, thanks Bucky, you’re welcome

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:38 Sam hit Nat! Nat hit Tony! Tony hit Clint! Clint hit Steve! Rhodey hit Wanda! Steve hit SpiderMan! Bruce his Steve! I hit that ass, please don’t say that Buck, oh come on Steve let me have fun

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:40 We have a five-minute break to refill and come up with some new strategies. We know that Tony has bugged us and Nat hacked that frequency so we’re sending false messages and then using morse code (blinking) to actually talk.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:41 Yes we are that extra, Bucky can you actually help us?, no sam I’m busy

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:45 And we’re going again. 15 minutes until we find out the winner!

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:45 Bruce just got me, Steve and Sam? I didn’t even know he could shoot a gun

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:45 we all turned around and shot him back lmao

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:47 just checking in, it’s turned to mayhem. Wanda had to fly out a broken window because someone - Steve - accidentally kicked a sofa out of it. And, apparently, letting a sofa fall on a busy street is a public safety hazard.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:47 SpiderMan has taken to crawling across the fucking ceilings like a demon baby and I have nearly thrown a punch or two his way. Clint threw his gun before because he got a fright.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:48 I think Rhodey just straight up died

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:48 he’s alright!

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:48 Clint hit him full force in the face

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:49 Clint is a really good shot but I am really good at not being shot. Who wins?

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:49 Me because I ran away

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:50 ten minutes to go! I hit Nat and she hit me

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:50 she’s acting like I actually shot her, you would know Bucky, Jeez Nat I said sorry like a million times

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:50 stop being a dramatic bitch Nat, Fuck you Bucky

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:51 Tony had to be reminded that calling on his suit is against the rules and Nat was told a few times that real guns aren’t allowed

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:51 Everyone is yelling at me for not including the small fact I was told, on a handful of occasions, that I couldn’t start throwing knives.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:52 We’re down to 8 minutes and it is absolute chaos in here. There are three broken windows. I didn’t even think these windows could break

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:53 Steve and Tony are duelling. Sam and I are going after Tony’s teammates while they do their thing

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:54 why did we have a planning break? No one is sticking to plan

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:55 Five minutes!

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:55 Wanda got me in the d-, keep it PG Buck, ughhh Steveeeeeee

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:56 Rhodey you’re not allowed to throw pillows, YES I AM SHOW ME WHERE IT SAYS I CAN’T

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:57 All hell has broken loose

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:58 Nat and Clint are now using sparkling water and they are aiming for the face

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

Our pressure points are in our chests Nat, this isn’t about winning Bucky this is about revenge

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:59 I am making it my mission to hit everyone before time up

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

10:59 I did it. Never say Hydra didn’t give me skills

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

11:00 AND TIME!

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

FUCK YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

WE WON WE WON WE WON WE WON WON WE WON WE WON WE WON, stop gloating Bucky it’s unbecoming, you shot me in the face with sparkling water Nat that’s unbecoming, I was never taught that my childhood was hard, oh fuck you

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

Why does Natasha suck so much?

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

Kidding, luv u @blackwidow_baby

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

So we were all a few points of each other but what really matters is that Steve, Sam and I won. The others didn’t.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

And we’re moving onto hide and seek. The person with the most amount of hits is seeking

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

And that it is……..

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

Steve lol

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

11:29, we’re back. We all got changed because we were wet. In the not fun way.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

Steve is seeking, last person to get found is the winner. Rules are simple; no leaving the building, we can’t go to the roof, we can’t fight the seeker, Steve can’t pretend not to find me because he loves me (Jarvis is watching) and Jarvis can’t help or hinder Steve. We have five minutes to hide.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

Also, Steve can’t go on Twitter

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

11:31 I already know where I’m going to hide. Now, something that I find funny is Steve has amazing hearing. Like, so good he can hear you breathing from a room away if he tries hard enough

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

11:31 this is very different then what I am used to. I used to have to yell in his good ear just so he could hear me.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

11:32, anyway. Everyone has run away already so it’s just Steve and standing here. I could go but I haven’t made out with Steve is a while so give me a minute

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

11:34 it was two nvm

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

11:34 alright, I’m off. When I get to my hiding place I will be typing again for obvious reasons.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

11:35 so my hiding spot is in our bedroom, under our bed. A few weeks ago I had a panic attack and accidentally ripped apart the floor under our bed so I could go under the floorboards. Don’t know why that was necessary but my brain needed me to.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

11:35 obvs I didn’t tell anyone about it because, you know, embarrassing.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

11:37 Yikes I forgot to plan for this. I have no idea what’s happening out there.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

11:38 for all I know the apocalypse has begun

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

11:42 three people just walked past the bedroom door

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

11:45 omgggg I am bored

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

11:47 Steve came in!! I stopped breathing and he didn’t find me

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

11:50 I used to be able to go like three weeks in a hole and now I’m bored after a few minutes

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

That was a bit sad, jeez

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

11:55 You know what I missed out on? Flappy Bird.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

11:59 This is lowkey reminding me of when I was kidnapped the last time

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

12:10 I’ve been in here for 30 minutes.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

12:13 Jarvis is refusing to update me

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

12:20 OMG

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

12:33 Me - I’m just really good at this because of my past, I can get out at any time and find them. My anxiety and codependency issues - they’ve left you here to die. Me - jeez you might be right

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

12:35 - and hour! Either I’m the last one or Steve is really fucking bad at this game

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

12:40 you know what else I missed out on? The word ‘swag’ being used unironically. That really sucks.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

12:40 also those bracelets that are the shape of animals. @steve buy me some

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

12:41 and the majority of the 21st century but those three things are the only things that matter to me

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

1:10 I fell asleep for a bit. Jarvis still won’t tell me what’s happening

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

1:22 It’s been nearly 2 hours

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

1:23 Sam just came in here but couldn’t find me

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

1:35 Jarvis just told me that they’ve given up and asked if he can reveal where I am. I told him to tell them all what room I’m in. Let’s see if they can find me

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

1:36 they’re here!

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

1:37 “Is he actually here?” Sam asked. Jarvis confirms I am. “What the actual fuck?” Tony asks. Nat kicked the bed while complaining about me. “Where is he?” Bruce asks. SpiderMan just looked under the bed but didn’t find me lmao. Sam says "let's get a metal detector." Fuck you, Bird Man

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

1:38 I accidentally moved a little “Oh for fuck's sake Bucky.” Steve says. ANd then he just kicks the bed to the side of the room

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

They’re just staring down at me while I type this tweet

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

Tony’s annoyed that I broke his floor.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

They’re all annoyed that I’m still tweeting rn

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

Steve just helped me out of the floor.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

1:38 Steve found me!!!!! He always does.

The Avengers @avengers In reply to @avengers

And I won. By a fair bit.

Chapter Text

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918

Look at him!! I love him!! 

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Chapter Text

Avengers Assemble

Hawkeye - New superhero alert

Iron Man - ??

Hawkeye - Do you know who Hank Pym is?

Captain Ass-Merica - Used to work at Shield

Iron Man - Worked with my dad and then didn’t

Hawkeye - Cool, so you know him

Iron Man - Are you trying to say that he’s the new superhero?

Hawkeye - No

Hawkeye - Scott Lang

Falcon - No

Falcon - He’s not welcome

Captain Ass-Merica - ???

Hawkeye - Scott won in a fight a while back

Captain America’s Bitch - Ohhh Ant-Man, right? I like him

GreatestSpy - how do you know him?

Captain America’s Bitch - meet him at a Starbucks in San Fran

Iron Man - When were you in San Francisco?

Captain America’s Bitch - Like a month ago

Captain America’s Bitch - Steve and I went on a date to this really nice restaurant I went to once when I was undercover with Hydra

GreatestSpy - You went on a date with Hydra?

Captain America’s Bitch - no I went to a restaurant and got to try some food. Was I made to sit in a trunk of a very small car for a few hours after because my mark was fucking a waitress? Yes.

Hawkeye - Sorry about that

Captain America’s Bitch - thank

Rhodey - Steve, did you meet ant man?

Captain Ass-Merica - No, just Bucky

Rhodey - I’m surprised you two separated for long enough for Bucky to meet someone by himself

Captain America’s Bitch - same

Captain Ass-Merica - Our hotel was across the street. We were apart for maybe ten minutes.

Rhodey - Ten? Jesus, I don’t think I’ve seen you two apart for more than a minute

Captain Ass-Merica - That’s not true

Rhodey - You two go to the bathroom together.

Captain Ass-Merica - We do not.

Captain Ass-Merica - I’ve gone on week-long missions with you and not Bucky.

Hawkeye - Anyway, Scott Lang or Ant-Man. Cool power

Spidey boy - Three bug-themed superheroes!!

GreatestSpy - Nice!

Iron Man - Is he in NY?

Hawkeye - He is not. But neither am I and yet we’re communication

Hawkeye - Communication

Hawkeye - Communicating

Hawkeye - What the fuck

Iron Man - Alright, let’s meet the man who bested our boy Sam

Hawkeye added Scott Lang to the chat

Hawkeye - Everyone meet Scott

Scott Lang - Hi!

Rhodey - So, what’s your superpower?

Scott Lang - I can shrink to the size of an ant and talk to ants

Scott Lang - Hence the name

Iron Man - Excuse me

Falcon - and is this biological? Have you always been able to talk to ants?

Scott Lang - No. I have an earpiece, it’s a cybernetic helmet, that transmits and receives psionic, pheromonal and electrical waves that allows me to communicate with the ants

Captain America’s Bitch - Right, so do the ants transmit the waves through the antenna and this helmet jumps onto the frequency that they’re using so that you can talk to them as if you were an ant?

Scott Lang - Exactly right

Captain Ass-Merica - Very interesting

Scott Lang - Thank you, Captain America!

Captain Ass-Merica - Steve is fine

Scott Lang - Of course, sorry, Captain Steve Rogers

Captain Ass-Merica - Uh, just Steve

Scott Lang - Okay.

Captain Ass-Merica - Welcome to the group chat. Mute us if we’re annoying. It’s what I do.

Scott Lang - Thank you, Captain Steve

_________________

Sex facts @hornyfacts

It's only good sex when you don't even remember your name

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @hornyfacts

who the hell is Bucky, am I right @cptrogers1918

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I hate you

_________________

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon

Wanda is cooking when Clint walked in and poked her sides. She got a fright and spun around, hitting him with an oven mitt. This exchange followed: Clint “what the hell!” Wanda “what did you expect!” Clint “Not to get hit with an oven mitt!”.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @flying_falcon

I think Natasha nearly peed herself watching them.

_________________

Pepper Potts Love Bot @lexa73  

Ummmm I stan cloth sharing future-husbands

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_________________

Avengers Assemble

Spidey boy - Uhhhhhhh

Spidey boy - I think I'm gonna jump off the tower now

Captain America’s Bitch - same but why

Spidey boy - School and stuff

Captain America’s Bitch - no point jumping for that.

Captain America’s Bitch - chug some illegal alcohol like Steve and I used to do

Spidey boy - Honestly I’m getting there

Captain America’s Bitch - I’m such a good mentor

Mother Hen - please don’t do that Peter

Captain America’s Bitch - Don’t worry Pepper, he’s like me and Steve. Can’t get drunk.

Spidey boy - Makes parties lame

Iron Man - Underage drinking is illegal

Captain America’s Bitch - So is half the stuff you do

Iron Man - Touche

_________________

The Avengers @AvengersFanAccount03

Tell me something about Bucky’s first few weeks at the tower.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @AvengersFanAccount03

Bossy. @stevie you do it

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Bossy Bucky. I don’t know, we hugged a lot

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Fine, I’ll do it. When I first came back Steve brought magnetic post-it notes and would write things and stick them on my arm. I’d wake up and at first, it was like ‘you’re bucky’ or the date or ‘you’re safe here’

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

They changed to things like “I love you” and “you’re not to blame” stuff like that. Sometimes he’d do little drawings and stick them on there for me.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Bucky would draw moustaches or hats on said drawings and give them back to me

The Avengers @AvengersFanAccount03 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Omg thank you so much

_________________

The Avengers @avengers

STAS. Clint “Okay, yes, this looks bad”. Natasha “That’s because it is bad!”

_________________

Cecilia @CCbabe

Y’all I’m about to scream. If I die I swear to fuck I am haunting this bastard

Cecilia @CCbabe In reply to @CCbabe

Context: I’m at the library and this douche with a machine gun is outside

Lillian @lilbitch In reply to @CCbabe

Girl, do a thread. Get that clout

Cecilia @CCbabe In reply to @lilbitch

Surely

Cecilia @CCbabe In reply to @CCbabe

I’m actually freaking out, we’re all hiding in a study room upstairs but there’s this window so I can see him.

Cecilia @CCbabe In reply to @CCbabe

There are so many people around. This is New York

Cecilia @CCbabe In reply to @CCbabe

Oh, fuck Bucky Barnes just walked over to him as casual as, his hand blocking bullets, and grabbed the gun. Pulled it out of his hands, hit him in the head with it. Dude goes down hard and hasn’t gotten back up. Bucky’s just standing beside him on his phone.

Cecilia @CCbabe In reply to @CCbabe

The police arrived a few moments later and they all kind of stared at each other for a while

Cecilia @CCbabe In reply to @CCbabe

Steve Rogers is here!!! He and Sam Wilson are in jogging outfits and just jogged up to Bucky. I’m opening the window so I can hear them.

Cecilia @CCbabe In reply to @CCbabe

“What happened?” Steve asked.

Cecilia @CCbabe In reply to @CCbabe

“I was going for a walk like Sam told me to do! Getting fresh air and shit!”

Cecilia @CCbabe In reply to @CCbabe

Sam, at Steve’s look - “I didn’t tell you to stop an active shooter!”

Cecilia @CCbabe In reply to @CCbabe

Bucky shrugged and Steve hugged him. Bucky - “usually you’re the idiot.”

Cecilia @CCbabe In reply to @CCbabe

Steve laughs and shakes his head. “Guess so.”

Cecilia @CCbabe In reply to @CCbabe

The police are talking to Bucky about what happened. One looks like he’s in awe and one looks three seconds away from pulling his own gun. Sam is glaring at the latter.

Cecilia @CCbabe In reply to @CCbabe

“Just doing your job,” Bucky says to that officer

Cecilia @CCbabe In reply to @CCbabe

“Come on, babe, let’s go home,” Steve says. The three of them leave.

Cecilia @CCbabe In reply to @CCbabe

“Omg, I just meet them!” Good cop says. Bad cop scoffs, “you meet three criminals who think they’re above us.” Random lady on the street shouts, “that’s ‘cause they are!”

Cecilia @CCbabe In reply to @CCbabe

Some kid goes “no cops at pride! Only Steve, Bucky and Sam!” Good cop looks like he agrees, he is welcome at pride.

_________________

Emily || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan

This is the man I love

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Addy @addddddyy In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

I may be a lesbian but I agree

Emily || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @addddddyy

Lmao

Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Excuseeee me but where did you get that photo

Emily || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @MialovesAvengers

I’ve had it on my phone for ages now lol I have no idea which photo shoot it came from

Addy @addddddyy In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

@mia the photo shoot from three months ago with Clint and Nat. There were a few outtakes of just Bucky.

Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers In reply to @addddddyy

Thanks, babe

_________________

Pansy @pansygood

Look at this photo in my school textbook. How am I supposed to stay focused when I have this staring at me?

Screen Shot 2019-02-25 at 2.12.25 PM

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @pansygood

I couldn’t do it

_________________

Stucky Lover @kirahiggs

@cptrogers1918 What is your favourite picture of Bucky?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @kirahiggs

This one

fab167651c09ed86b641eaba4c7688b6

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and James Barnes

Bucky - Steve

Bucky - Stevie

Bucky - Are you free??

Stevie - Yeah Buck, we just got back to the hotel. What’s wrong?

Bucky - Sam and I were just going to get tacos and

Bucky - Okay so you know how I remember everything now?

Stevie - Yes

Bucky - I don’t think I do

Stevie - What do you mean?

Bucky - Someone said something and I was reminded of a mission I went on that I didn’t remember.

Stevie - Are you sure?

Bucky - Yes.

Stevie - Okay, that’s alright. We can figure it out

Bucky - I was talking to Nat and she said something about like over 2 dozen confirmed missions, right?

Stevie - Yes

Bucky - I went through all that I could remember

Bucky - And it’s only like 20

Bucky - And there’s probably more that weren’t confirmed

Stevie - That’s alright Buck. It will be okay

Bucky - No! I thought I was whole again and now

Stevie - Bucky. Listen to me. Just because you don’t remember some of your past doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t make you less or broken. I want you to understand that Buck, you don’t have to know everything to be you again.

Bucky - Who knows how many people I’ve killed

Stevie - You didn’t do anything

Stevie - Do you want to call?

Bucky - No.

Stevie - When I get back we can go through the WS files from the data leak. We might find some more info there.

Bucky - Not all of my missions were recorded. They weren’t official. It was my handler asking me to get rid of someone in the same organization and such

Stevie - Alright. We can work with what we have.

Bucky - How are you so calm?

Stevie - Because I love you.

Bucky - Even now?

Stevie - I don’t love you for your memory, Buck, I never did. I love you.

Bucky - I love you too.

Bucky - Go and have dinner Steve. I’ll see you when you get back.

Stevie - Don’t go hard on yourself while I’m gone

Bucky - I have eaten all of our chocolate supplies

Stevie - I’ll order some more

Bucky - I love you.

Stevie - Love you too, I’ll see you soon.

Chapter Text

The Love Letters

The Smithsonian Archives

The Smithsonian is happy to announce that a series of letters sent to and from James Barnes and Steve Rogers are being released today. These letters are from the few months were Barnes was overseas and Rogers was being trained and when he was Captain America. The letters stop when the two are reunited in Austria. Rogers and Barnes have agreed to share what they said to each other, however, some letters are missing as the pair didn’t want to publish the content in those letters. Scroll down to read the letters.


 James Barnes to Steven Rogers, March 19th 1943. Sent from England to Brooklyn

Stevie,

Sorry for not sending a letter sooner. We arrived in England two days ago but it’s been absolute chaos. I haven’t had the time to sit and write. Even now I’m running the risk of being called out. As said I’m in the 107th, it’s not as exciting as you thought it would be, as I said as well. So far I’ve been meeting with some of the soldiers under my watch and some of my supervisors. I have some cool guys but there's so many of us I haven’t meet with everyone yet. I know you want to come and fight, I know you don’t want to be at home, but I don’t want you here Steve. Please, please, stop trying. It’s dangerous and cold and dusty and I can’t just look out for you if you’re here.

I have to go, I have another meeting. Apparently, we’re being shipped to Poland sooner rather than later and there’s a whole lot to do. Let me tell you something before I go, there is no part of me that doesn’t want to be at home with you.

James Barnes.


Steven Rogers to James Barnes, March 21st 1943. Sent from New Jersey to England

Buck,

Don’t worry about me, I’m doing fine on my own. You’ve asked me to stop but, let’s be real here Buck, when have I ever listened to you? I guess I should say sorry about that, but you don’t listen to me either. However, for the time being, because I know you stress, I have stopped. I haven’t tried anything since the world fair, promise. But I haven’t gotten and will not get a little red wagon. Just so you know.

What’s England like? I do plan on going there, sorry, but I trust your judgement quite a bit. Is it worth it? What’s it like being a Sergeant? Do they call you Sarge? I hope so, I bet you get all flustered when they do.

I’m seeing a doctor tomorrow, check up and hopefully new meds. Wish me luck. I look forward to seeing you again, it’s only been a few days but it feels wrong.

Stevie


James Barnes to Steven Rogers, March 25th 1943. Sent from England to New Jersey

Steve,

Don’t lie to me. I’ve known you for twenty years, Steven, I know that you’re lying.

Buck,

P.S, good luck with the doctors. Let me know how it goes, please.

Also - P.S. They do call me Sarge. I do not get flustered.


Steven Rogers to James Barnes, March 28th 1943. Sent from New Jersey to England

Buck,

‘M not lying.

The doctor said I’m fit as a fiddle.

Steve

P.S. I am glad they call you Sarge. I do not believe you, you get flustered. I will be calling you sarge when we see each other.


James Barnes to Steven Rogers, April 1st 1943. Sent from England to New Jersey

Steven, I am sending these letters to New Jersey. And you’ve never been fit.


Steven Rogers to James Barnes, April 6th 1943. Sent from New Jersey to England

I can’t really hide that, can I? Don’t worry, I’m not in the army or anything.

Steve.


James Barnes to Steven Rogers, April 12th 1943. Sent from England to Brooklyn

Stevie,

I’m shipping out to Poland next week. I don’t know where I will be stationed for some time so I fear out letters are going to have to stop. Hearing from you is the highlight of my days, as soon as I have my new location I will be writing to you and I fully expect that you respond to me quickly. Leaving our spat alone I must agree with you, it feels odd to not have you by my side. I have so many good and fun men around me all the time and all I want is to see you one more time. It feels like it has been years since I last saw you, call me dramatic but it’s the truth.

Some of my men saw our last exchange of letters and made fun of me, wasting my paper to write a sentence when they’re cramming everything in and writing as small as they can. How do I tell them that we don’t need that many words? How do I tell them that you can look at me and I know exactly what you’re thinking? That even though we’re an ocean apart I still know what you’re thinking? They just don’t understand us. I doubt they ever will.

But today I will use my paper to tell you what’s happening. As said we’re off to Poland, some of us are excited some of us dread it. I don’t know what I’m feeling. They keep telling us that we’re brave for being here, that we should feel proud of ourselves for giving everything to fight. I can’t bring myself to feel like that. That much I am sure off. Our superiors act as though we want to be here. All I want is to be with you again.

Sadness aside I have met some wonderful people from across the world and America. A handful of the men in the 107th are becoming friends of mine - nothing like us, of course - and I wish you could meet them. It’s a comfort to know that someone has my back out there as much as I have his. We’re bunking together, in fact, they’re all chatting right now. Keep asking me to join in the conversation, can’t they see that I’d much rather be chatting with you? Our bunks aren’t too bad, no worse than that apartment we lived in, the one closest to the docks, do you remember? It was so cold that winter. But, never fear, you were so warm. I could use some of that now, England is really cold. Or maybe our blankets are just really shit.

I’m glad I’m sending these back to Brooklyn. Feels right.

Anyway, Steve, I have to go. I can’t use words to describe how I miss you but I am sure that you understand.

Your Bucky.


Steven Rogers to James Barnes, April 20th 1943. Sent from Brooklyn to England

Bucky,

I promise that as soon as I get a letter from Poland I will be running to the nearest paper and pencil. Nothing will stop me. And I expect a letter back just as fast. Hearing from you is the only light in my very dark life right now. I couldn’t call you dramatic because I feel just the same way. I feel as if something has been ripped from inside of me and, believe me, I’d do anything to have it back.

This past week I caught up with your parents, they miss you just as much as me. Your mother is still one of the best bakers I have ever meet. I may have taken some of her cookies home. She told me to tell you that when you get back we could take as many as we wanted back to our house. I told her that was incentive enough to get home. Your father is better now, no longer down with the cold. They told you he was sick in their last letter but wanted you to know before you went to Poland that he is okay.

Brooklyn isn’t the same without you. I don’t like it. Our apartment is cold and empty, the streets darker. When we’re there together I’m making us go for a long walk through the city.

I am very glad you’re making friends. God, I sound like you in high school. Do you remember telling me that? As long as they’re looking out for you then I reckon they can’t be that bad, in fact, I’d say they’re were great. But you should make them the priority over me, I can’t be there to watch your six right now. Of course, I would hope none of them are forming a relationship like ours, I’d be rather upset if that was the case. I do remember that apartment, I also remember you pushing your feet on mine constantly.

See you soon,

Your Stevie.


James Barnes to Steven Rogers, May 7th 1943. Sent from Poland to Brooklyn

My Stevie,

I am so sorry for not sending a letter sooner. We arrived in Poland a few days after I sent the last letter but it took us another week to get to our base. And then I had almost no downtime in between all my meetings and such. Again, I am sorry. I wanted to write to you so badly, I promise.

Our new base is, to put it nicely, shit. At least in England, our roof didn’t leak and we didn’t worry about food. Just like home, I guess. But hopefully not right now? You are getting my paychecks right? You should be. And Ma said that you got a job? What’s that like? Do they pay you well and treat you nice? I wish you didn’t have to work, when I get back I’ll let you retire early. I’d rather that than you work yourself to death.

Speaking of that, Steve, I want you to promise me something. If I don’t make it home I want you to move on and forget all about me. I don’t want you to wallow in loss if I can’t be there with you.

I have to go,

Your Bucky.


Steven Rogers to James Barnes, May 15th 1943. Sent from Brooklyn to Poland

My Bucky,

No need to say sorry for not writing sooner. It’s hardly your fault. I am sorry for my late reply, letters are taking longer to get to me now, and they’re taking longer to send out as well. I don’t think I can fix that. Believe me that as soon as I get a letter I am reading it and replying, no matter what. I don’t waste time with this. But, the post office has decided they hate all of us. Or maybe there’s just a lot of letters.

I wish your base was nicer. Leaky roofs are the worst. I am getting your paychecks and I split them with your parents ‘cause it ain't fair that I get all of it. My job pays well and I travel a fair bit now, which doesn’t help with the letter problem. I am treated well, so please don’t worry about me. I’m able to save a fair bit. I also try to save all of your money so that when you get back we have a fair bit to relax with. You’re always working so hard for us, it’s the least I can do.

Speaking of I have to say no to your request. I will not move on from you Bucky. Ask yourself this: Would you move on if I were to die? We’ve had this conversation so many times Bucky and every single time I’ve gotten the same answer. Where I go you go, right? That applies the other way ‘round. Where you go, I go. I can only promise you that.

Love,

Your Stevie.


James Barnes to Steven Rogers, May 30th 1943. Sent from Poland to Brooklyn

Please promise me this. I need it.

Bucky.


Steven Rogers to James Barnes, June 12th 1943. Sent from Brooklyn to Poland

I promise.


 

James Barnes to Steven Rogers, June 28th 1943. Sent from France to Brooklyn

Thank you.


Steven Rogers to James Barnes, July 1st 1943. Sent from Brooklyn to France

Buck,

Sorry for not writing sooner. These past few weeks have been hectic. Please tell me how you’re going? What you’re doing? I know you’re in France now. You always promised to take me to France, we’re still on for that, just so you know. No war is coming in between our plans. I can promise you that. We’re going to the future, the two of us.

Your Ma said that you had been promoted or something along those lines. She wasn’t sure but said you were an excellent marksman. I already knew that, remember when we went to Coney Island and you hit all those targets? I still have that teddy bear that you got for me that day. It’s so small, you said it was perfect for me and I punched you. Probably hurt me more than you but it was worth it. You always humoured me like that. It pissed me off but it was also so kind and, I don’t know what word to use here, selfless(?) that I couldn’t be all that mad.

Can’t wait to see you again,

Your Steve.


James Barnes to Steven Rogers, July 30th 1943. Sent from France to Brooklyn

Steve,

Well, right now France is full of Nazis so I would not recommend. Once we win the war we’ll go. I never said we weren’t going to future, you know that I don’t break promises. It is very pretty though. My unit was hiking through this mountain range this month, it’s why I haven’t responded to you. We weren’t in a base. There were a lot of long days but the company’s good and the views are spectacular. I’m going to get you here and get you to draw a sunset over one particular hill.

Ma’s right, there’s a few of us who do special-ops now. I’m still with the 107th and still a sergeant, however. I’m still called sarge. Can't really say much else, sorry, but I’m a sniper. It might make you happy to know that I don’t get in the thick of the action and stay back a bit, it’s a little safer. Guess all that maths work was good for me, and there I was not believing Mrs whatever her name was when she said maths was important.

Of course, I remember Coney island. You vomited on the Cyclone, that’s not a memory I’m ever forgetting.

We’re going to the future, Steve, don’t worry.

Bucky.


Steven Rogers to James Barnes, August 7th 1943. Sent from Brooklyn to England

Buck,

Before we start I would like to say that I am very happy they still call you Sarge. Means the world to me.

You’re back in England now? That’s what I was told anyway. Hopefully, this letter reaches you quickly. Not being able to talk to you has been horrible. I miss pretending you’re talking to me as I read the letters you send me. I miss you so much, Buck, I’d do anything for this war to be over so that we can be back in Brooklyn together.

I guess we have to go to France then, to see that sunset. I’ll paint it and we can hang it up so when we don’t see the sun in Brooklyn we can look at it. It’ll be like the French sun is in our little apartment. Wouldn’t that be nice? I also don’t doubt that you could paint it as well, bring it back to me before we go over together. I’m glad that you’re finding happiness over there, even in the little things. It terrifies me that you’re upset and I’m not there to make it a little bit better.

Stay safe, Sarge,

Stevie.


James Barnes to Steven Rogers, August 26th 1943. Sent from England to Brooklyn

Stevie,

This letter will be short, I am sorry for that, truly Steve. I only received your letter a moment ago and I’m scheduled to be leaving the base in a few minutes. I plan on sending this before I go. I am heading to Austria, the 107th is now fighting some off-shot Nazi scientists now. We haven’t been told much. We’re also getting a new CO and apparently some badass dame is on her way over. I’ve all sorts of stories about her and look forward to actually meeting her.

I also miss you, Steve, I keep all your letters tucked into my breast pocket when I go out. It’s all I have of you so I like to have them with me. I feel empty when I don’t have them now.

You haven’t told me about your health in a while. Please update me? I worry.

I have to go, Steve. But I must say that my drawing would do nothing to capture the beauty of the sunset here but I will be very happy the day we hang your picture on our wall. It can go above the radio.

Your Sarge.


Steven Rogers to James Barnes, September 7th 1943. Sent from Brooklyn to Austria

Sarge,

I would rather have only a word than nothing. When I don’t receive letters I feel like I am having an asthma attack but with air in my lungs. Speaking of, you don’t have to worry about me Bucky. I haven’t had anything wrong since you left. Not even an asthma attack or bout of sickness. Your mother checks up on me often, if I needed it she would have tied me to the bed, don’t worry. I want you to worry about yourself, leave my health out of your mind. Are you in good health over there?

Last night I was in Brooklyn and saw Dot and Ruth. The three of us went out together, I was with Dot and we ran into Ruth. Made a big deal because there were people watching us. We went to the cinema and dinner, it was nice catching up with them. They both wish you the best, as do the vast majority of Brooklyn I’d say. People constantly ask after you. I’ve had to turn down so many girls for ya’. Sorry about that. When you get back we’ll have to go out with Dot and Ruth again.

Not much else has happened. You always said I dragged you into everything but life is pretty dull without you around.

Your Steve.


James Barnes to Steven Rogers, September 21st 1943. Sent from Austria to Brooklyn

Steve,

I am going somewhere soon, I can not say where because it is so classified. But I want to tell you something before I go. Please, Stevie, be happy. That is all I wish. If you are happy then I leave base happy and confident in knowing that you will be alright. Promise me that, my Steve.

Forever yours,

James.


Steven Rogers to James Barnes, September 30th 1943. Sent from England to Austria

James,

I promise so long as you promise to come home with me.

Your Steve. From now ‘till the future.


Steven Rogers to James Barnes, February 4th 1945. Sent from Switzerland to Brooklyn

I know I promised, Bucky, but I can’t,

I’ll see you in the future, My Buck,

Love,

Your Stevie.

Chapter Text

Private Message Between James Barnes and Sam Wilson

Sam - Hey, is the MRI done?

Bucky - Yeah

Sam - What’s the verdict? You still crazy?

Bucky - No, fuck you. There’s no damage, my brain looks perfect.

Sam - But you don’t remember, right? 

Bucky - Yeah

Sam - Did they have any idea why?

Bucky - My healing fixed my brain so it’s fine but those memories are still gone. They reckon I still have them but are locked away from me.

Sam - So what do you do now?

Bucky - They want me to see a new psychologist guy and see what he says

Sam - Do you want to?

Bucky - No? But Steve reckons it’s a good idea

Sam - You have to be willing

Bucky - If you’re going to act like my therapist I am going to start paying you 

Sam - What an odd threat

Bucky - Not a threat.

Sam - Anyway, what did your therapist say? Are you still with Grant?

Bucky - I am and he said the same thing you did. I have to want to, not just Steve.

Sam - So what are you going to do?

Bucky - Can I ask a question?

Sam - Shoot

Bucky - Is it normal to want to know what’s wrong with me so I can fix it but also not know at the same time?

Bucky - I can’t even explain it right

Sam - No I got it. And yeah, it’s super normal. 

Bucky - Would you see the psychologist 

Sam - Yeah

Bucky - Back in my day they just through people like me in the nuthouse. I’d have been in Bloomingdale’s years ago. 

Sam - Would you rather that?

Bucky - No, of course not. They put gay people there when Steve and I were kids. It was a very real threat to us.

Sam - Jesus that’s awful.

Bucky - Steve probably would have just been killed and I would have been ‘fixed’. Someone on my block was fixed like that when I was a kid. He was not alright when he came back.

Sam - I think you’re deflecting from the problem at hand right now

Bucky - I would say so 

Sam - What do you want to do.

Bucky - Make Steve happy tbh

Sam - What do you want to do, Bucky.

Bucky - I want to try and fix it, or at least find out if it can be fixed. 

Sam - Then do that 

Bucky - Steve’s setting up the appointment now. 

Sam - Why not you, lazy ass

Bucky - Steve liked doing that kind of thing and I don’t like talking to people I don’t know so it works out really well. 

Bucky - Also I’m taking you out for dinner when you get back to NY

Sam - Gross no.

Bucky - You have no choice :) 

Bucky - And I know you want to anyway

Sam - It better be one of those places you have to book for. I expect we’re wearing suits to this meal. 

Bucky - Alright, I’ll look for one now

Sam - How do you know when I’ll be in NY

Bucky - Saw your planner, sorry

Sam - And you memorized it?

Bucky - No. Well, yah, I just have a photogenic memory. When I’m not being fried every few weeks. 

Sam - Fair

Bucky - Steve’s just finished so I gotta go. Thanks, Sam.

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917  

I never say I love you to anyone. It’s a sign of weakness 

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

This is just a lie

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

No, it’s not!

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

You have a reminder on your phone, every hour, to tell Steve that you love him

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @arrowboi

Steve doesn’t count!

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I’ve heard you tell Steve you love him three times today and it’s 9 am. You woke up at 8.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Steve deserves that!

Pepper @PepPotts In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

You told me you loved me when I gave you leftover cookies last night

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @PepPotts

They were really nice cookies!

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 

Can you guys all shut up I’m trying to be edgy 

_________________

Maxi-Most @lovemesomewanada  

I love Wanda so much. My baby. 

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @lovemesomewanda

If this isn’t a mood

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @arrowboi

Clint as all but legally adopted Wanda, in case anyone was wondering. She is very happy because of this. 

Wanda Maximoff @scarletxwitch In reply to @blackwidow_baby

I am!

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @scarletxwitch

I did!

_________________

Baby Bird @stevewilson 

Hey, uh, no offence but how did Bucky get to Russia? Like, his arm is metal. I went through with a metal headband once and it beeped and I got taken away to be scanned.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @stevewilson

Oh, no, I sailed. 

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

You did what now?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flyingfalcon

Well, Nat gave me plane tickets but I couldn’t get through security as Baby Bird pointed out so I was a stowaway on a cargo ship to England and then sailed to Amsterdam before stealing a car and driving to Russia. Didn’t take me to long. 

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

How long did it take?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flyingfalcon

Uhhh 4 weeks to get to England, 20 hours to sail, 30 to drive. Would have taken me 25 but I stopped to nap at one point.

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon  

Nat, why didn’t you think about that when you gave him the ticket

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @flying_falcon

I wanted to see what he would do  

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

I got there, it just took me a bit longer. No biggie

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Why didn’t you mention this is your whole twitter thread??

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flyingfalcon

Didn’t seem important. 

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

What the fuck Bucky

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flyingfalcon

What?

Addy @addddddyy In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

When did you learn how to sail?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @addddddyy

No idea but I’m really good at it. 

Stanning Steve @Stevestan In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Did you go to the airport tho?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Stevestan

Yeah. I had no idea that they scanned you. No one flew anywhere when I was growing up and with Hydra I was put on a Hydra-Plane. It wasn’t like I had a ticket or passport or in-flight entertainment.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Stevestan

I arrived with a metal arm and a bag full of guns, knives and stolen money. I left pretty quickly when I figured out what happened there.

_________________

Natasha Romanoff Updates @blackwidowupdates  

Natasha was just spotted outside a local gardening store

Natasha's Bitch @blackwidowbabie In reply to @blackwidowupdates

What’s she doing there tho?

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @blackwidowbabie

I’m going to start a flower garden 

Natasha's Bitch @blackwidowbabie In reply to @blackwidow_baby

What kind of plants???

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @blackwidowbabie

Lily of the Valley and Olender. Maybe some foxtail

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @blackwidow_baby

God damn it Nat

Natasha's Bitch @blackwidowbabie In reply to @arrowboi

???

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi In reply to @blackwidowbabie

They’re all poisonous and last time she played with poisons I got paralyzed 

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @arrowboi

It was only for a few days. Stop being a baby

_________________

Bumble Bee @beatrze  

Sorry, but is it gonna be Steve Barnes or James Rogers? 

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @beatrze

No. No don’t ask this. 

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam In reply to @flying_falcon

This has been THE discussion in the tower for so long now

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @youknowwho-Iam

It’s been the discussion since about 1930

Bumble Bee @beatrze In reply to @cptrogers1918

What are you thinking??

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @beatrze

Barnger

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

Absolutely not

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby In reply to @cptrogers1918

Rarnes 

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @blackwidow_baby

That's worse

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

I reckon Steve and James Barnes 

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

James and Steve Rogers sounds better

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

You’re the twink!

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

That doesn’t mean anything?!?!

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Very glad you didn’t disagree

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Shut up, Mr James Rogers 

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Gross, I hate it

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I seem to remember you writing that in one of your notebooks when we were ten.

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

No fair I don’t remember that! For all I know it didn’t happen

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

It did

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Sounds like something I’d do

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

So we go with Rogers

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1918

Nooooooo

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

:(

Bumble Bee @beatrze In reply to @cptrogers1918

So we haven't decided yet?

_________________

Joey City @joeyC

Steve Rogers just walked past me, winked at my daughter, lifted a car above his head, set it back down and continued on walking. What the hell just happened? 

Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers In reply to @joeyC

Are you serious? Because this isn’t the first time he’s done this. 

_________________

Emily || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan  

Steve should join an ultimate frisbee group 

_________________

Peter P @pparker 

I have decided that Spider-Man is actually awesome and will no longer be hating on him

_________________

Peter is 100% Spider-Man (and is a terrible liar) [whole school minus Peter and Ned]

MJ - y’all

Betty - honestly. It’s like he doesn't even try.  

MJ - How else can he not be subtle about being a superhero? I think he’s done everything he can

Flash - I wouldn’t be surprised he if manages to mess up even more. 

_________________

Avengers Assemble 

Falcon - Why did you hate yourself before?

Captain Ass-Merica - want to be more specific? This applies to roughly half of this group 

Falcon - That’s sad 

Falcon - I meant Peter. 

Spidey Boy - I didn’t?

Iron Man - We all follow you, Peter

Spidey Boy - Yeah I know, someone thought I was like dying and it was my wish for you all to follow me. 

Falcon - Why did you just tweet that 

Spidey Boy - ohhhhh I pretended to hate SpiderMan irl 

Spidey Boy - But it’s getting annoying and Ned is undoubtedly going to tell people I know him or something 

Captain Ass-Merica - So now people think you like him

Captain Ass-Merica - You 

Captain Ass-Merica - Whatever

Spidey Boy - yeah, exactly. 

Falcon - Alright, that makes sense

Spidey Boy - really?

Falcon - Not really but it’s fine

_________________

Grey @robbiegrey

Why did I just see Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes go into the Judith White Senior Center?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @robbiegrey

It’s Friday Funday 

Grey @robbiegrey  In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Are you serious?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @robbiegrey

Yeah

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

We run a fitness class on Friday mornings

Emily || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @cptrogers1918

You do?!?!?!

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

Yeah and then we have an art class with Martha 

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Then Lunch and then a walk outside. It’s fun

Emily || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @cptrogers1918

I can’t omg

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

We are seniors, you know that?

Emily || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

I do, I do but it’s easy to forget

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

I guess. Our friend from school invited Steve when he first woke up and Steve started bringing me along a while ago.

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

People keep forgetting that we are 100  

Chapter Text

CNN OPINION @cnnopinion

Should we be celebrating on the 4th of July? 

Emily || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @cnnopinion

The only thing we’re celebrating is Steven G Rogers

_________________

Iron Man Rox ;) @youknowwho-Iam  

Happy birthday to Steve. Probably the least annoying Avenger! 

Pepper @PepPotts

You make my life harder than it needs to be but I wouldn't change it for anything. Happy birthday Steve. 

Natasha Ho-manoff @blackwidow_baby 

To one of my closest friends and best allies, happy birthday 

Spider-Man @spiderman 

Happy birthday, cap!

Wanda Maximoff @scarletxwitch

Happy Birthday, Steve!! A good man with a good heart

Bruce Banner @dr_banner In reply to @

Biologically we have no idea who old you are. Legally we have no idea either. But we aware that it’s your birthday. Happy birthday Steve! 

Rhodey @war_machine_rox 

Happy birthday Steve! 

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon

Steve is an amazing man who deserves the world. May this year be his best. 

The OG Bird Avenger @arrowboi 

You’re old as fuck now steve 

_________________

Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers  

Okay, but why hasn’t Bucky wished Steve happy birthday yet? Can an Avenger see what’s up

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @MialovesAvengers

We don’t even know where they are. 

Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers In reply to @flying_falcon

What??

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @MialovesAvengers

We woke up and went to their room and they just weren’t there. Their phones were tho and a note saying they hadn’t been kidnapped. Also, a threat if we try to find them.

Mia #codependentandstufflikethat @MialovesAvengers In reply to @flying_falcon

That sounds like something someone would say if they were kidnapping someone

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @MialovesAvengers

True. Should we be worried?

Chapter Text

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917  

We’re back. 

Addy @addddddyy In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

It’s been 2 days! 

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @addddddyy

yes

Addy @addddddyy In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Mayhaps you could say where you went? 

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @addddddyy

I took Steve because I wanted to. 

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

So you did kidnap him

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

No, I just took him without his knowledge or outright approval 

Coolest Avenger @flying_falcon In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

dude. 

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @flying_falcon

We went to the Grand Canyon. 

Addy @addddddyy In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Sweet. Why there tho?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @addddddyy

We promised each other that we would when we were kids.

Addy @addddddyy In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

How was it?

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @addddddyy

It was amazing. More than we could have ever imagined. 

_________________

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917  

And happy birthday Stevie. 

Chapter Text

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917  

Can you all shut the fuck up now 

tumblr_messaging_pu8ixoYoLI1wdj19z_250 

_________________

Private Message between Peter Parker and Harley Keener 

Pete - Harleyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Pete - Harleyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Pete - Harleyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Harls - what??? I’m in class

Pete - oh yeah I forgot you’re in today

Pete - we have a teacher only day 

Harls - Yeah, haha, it’s so funny. 

Pete - lmao you chose to go to college early.

Harls - you would have if you had the choice 

Pete - probably but I didn’t know Mr Stark sooooo

Harls - you could come next year? 

Pete - don’t want to leave Aunt May just yet

Pete - and I like I having teacher only days and only a little bit of homework 

Harls - whatever 

Pete - whatever. Anyway. I wanted to know if you’re coming to NY for the Stark Industries Gala? Pepper said you were invited but Tony won’t tell me if you’re actually coming

Harls - Maybe Tony has a reason for not telling you. Wouldn’t want to annoy him

Pete - That is all you do 

Harls - Very true

Harls - yes, I am comin’. I leave here Friday afternoon and leave NY Monday morning

Pete - Are you staying at the tower?

Harls - No. I was plann’ on staying on the streets 

Pete - Harleyyyy 

Harls - Gala’s Saturday night?

Pete - yea

Harls - I’m staying with you Friday then. You staying at the tower on Saturday?

Pete - Think so. Depends on what time we finish. And you didn’t ask me if you could lol

Harls - alright, because I’m a gentleman, I’ll ask

Pete - You’re not asking 

Harls - That was me asking

Pete - That wasn’t asking 

Pete - you just said that you would ask 

Harls - ughhhhhh

Harls - can I please stay at your house on Friday night? 

Pete - Of course. You didn’t even need to ask.

Harls - I hate you

Pete - :)

Harls - You should be devastated. That was a devastating come back on my behalf.

Pete - I’m sobbing in the lab

Harls - you’re in the lab??

Pete - yeah

Harls - Like, Tony’s lab

Pete - Yeah? What other lab would I be in?

Harls - idk 

Harls - Lucky

_________________

Iron Man And Sons

Keener - Peter’s slacking off in the lab

Parker - Harley’s slacking off in class

Stark - And I slack/ed off in both. Point?

Keener - No point

Parker - yeah

Stark - you probably shouldn’t be slacking off though Harls

Keener - It’s intro into Robotics

Keener - I’ve been doing this kinda thing since I was like, Peter’s age!

Parker - we are the same age

Keener - sometimes I forgot you’re not a baby

Parker - Why? You are legit only a year older than me.

Keener - WELL we’ve been doing this kinda thing since we were like idk 13

Keener - it’s sooooo boring

Parker - can’t wait for my turn there 

Stark - I had to do it

Keener - It’s sooooo boring why did I do this

Parker - because you want a future in mechanics? 

Keener - Shut up

Keener - I don’t need a degree for that. Tony owes me his life. I can just use that

Stark - you can not do that

Parker - I'm sure the other classes are fun

Keener - I am almost positive you’re having more fun in the lab right now

Stark - I’d assume so 

Parker - probably not 

Keener - You’re really sweet Pete

Keener - but wrong. What are you doing rn?

Parker - upgrading my web-shooters 

Keener - I wanna be in the labbbbbbbbbb

Stark - don’t worry. You’ll be back here soon enough. And then you’ll have a degree and you can work in a lab

Keener - I will be working in your lab

Stark - Will you?

Parker - Same!

Stark - oh really?

Parker - yes

Keener - yea

Stark - no one works in my lab

Parker - I’m in your lab right now

Stark - you are not being paid 

Keener - get me out of this class and you don’t have to pay me

Stark - I’m paying for you to go to that class

Stark - What do you have next?

Keener - Nano to Macro transfer 

Parker - oh

Stark - sorry

Keener - kill me. Worst four hours ever

Keener - it’s so simple

Stark - only because I taught you it when you were young 

Stark - others probably no nothing about it

Keener - That’s not my fault!!!

Parker - we’re doing nanotech in science next semester 

Keener - you’re going to be bored out of your mind 

Stark - at least it’s easy. 

Keener - true

Parker - true

Keener - oh so about the gala. Do I have to wear a suit?

Stark - absolutely and I thought we were surprising Peter 

Keener - why??? He bugged me until I told him

Parker - you were going to surprise me?

Keener - yeah

Parker - that’s really sweet. 

Stark - you have to wear a suit because it is a black-tie event. Pepper made that very clear in her many threatening emails.

Stark - I will be wearing a suit and I hate those things

Parker - I didn’t bug you! I asked once and then you told me

Keener - I need a new suit then and you’re a buggy person

Parker - rude

Stark - why do you need a new one? And Peter you are a buggy person 

Keener - I have grown

Keener - trying to be like Cap

Keener - spider man!

Parker - spiders aren’t bugs!!! Take an entomology class

Keener - not a single part of me wants to take an entomology class 

Parker - They’re not that bad

Keener - wait what

Stark - Have you taken one, Peter?

Parker - an online one. When I first got bitten

Parker - I have a diploma of entomology from Southern South Maryland Institute of Advanced Under-Undergraduates 

Stark - What the hell is the Southern South Maryland Institute of Advanced Undergraduates 

Parker - SSMIAU

Stark - Yes. Thank you for abbreviating it for me.

Parker - it’s an online school

Parker - and the only one that let a higher schooler in 

Keener - The hell is an Under-Undergraduate 

Stark - sounds like something for dumb people

Parker - it’s basically a school for diplomas. It’s not that bad 

Keener - how much did it cost

Parker - $44

Keener - Are you for real??

Parker - yeah

Keener - omg that’s so fucking funny

Stark - I have coffee mugs worth more than that

Parker - how many diplomas do you have Harley?

Keener - fuck you

Stark - ha

_________________

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 

I’ve spoken on this before but the way everyone sees Captain America - and me - even after all these years is so strange. I’m not a goody-two-shoes.

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and James Barnes 

Bucky - what do you mean strange?? It’s great 

Stevie - it’s weird

Stevie - And wrong 

Bucky - It’s amazing. I love it. They’re so wrong

Stevie - Why do you like it so much?

Bucky - Do you want the fun version or the lowkey-sad-but-also-not-super-sad-kind-of-silly version?

Stevie - Uh, both?

Bucky - Everyone is wrong and it makes me laugh. Also, it lets me off stuff because people suspend their opinions of you onto me

Bucky - lowkey-sad-but-also-not-super-sad-kind-of-silly version is: I don’t like sharing you and knowing that all these people think they know you but actually don’t make it easier to stomach the idea that I have to share you with the world.

Stevie - Silly. You’re not sharing me with anyone 

Stevie - I’m all yours baby 

Bucky - <3

Stevie - Now get back to work :) 

Bucky - Good idea lol we’re at the casino now

Stevie - Why are you messaging me then???

Bucky - You tweeted

Stevie - And

Bucky - I have post notifications on for you

Stevie - Yeah, I have them on for you as well

Bucky - Babeeee I love that

Stevie - Love you too

Bucky - Ha! 

Bucky - Fool!! I never said I love you!!

Bucky - I do love you however 

Stevie - I had no idea

Bucky - GTG our mark just arrived

Stevie - good luck and have fun! 

_________________

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 

I have broken so many laws

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and James Barnes 

Bucky - :))) They had some big guns 

Bucky - I stole one

Stevie - Cool, Buck

Bucky - I’m bringing it back and it’s mine now 

_________________

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 

So has Bucky

_________________

Private Message Between Steve Rogers and James Barnes 

Bucky - Call out 

Bucky - What the hell Steve

Stevie - You just killed men 

Bucky - That’s my jobbbbbbbbb Steve

Stevie - You also stole their guns

Bucky - Dead people don’t own things 

Stevie - No

Bucky - Finders Keepers

Stevie - That’s not how it works 

Bucky - :(

_________________

Emily || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan  

Why’d Steve delete his Bucky tweet lmao??? 

_________________

Avengers Assemble 

Hawkeye - lmao a bird just dive-bombed Sam

Captain America’s Bitch - nice

_________________

Private Message between Peter Parker, Harley Keener, Tony Stark and Pepper Potts

Pepper - please, please, please, behave on Saturday 

Tony - we always do

Pepper - Harley caught on fire last time 

Peter - only his arm

Harley - Peter’s fault 

Peter - NO! It was 100%, Harley

Peter - well, maybe 90%

Harley - A solid 80 anyway

Peter - Yeah, exactly. 

Pepper - Really?

Tony - They’re not wrong. It was just his arm and it’s not like anything came of it

Pepper - Tony.

Tony - Listen to Pepper boys.

Tony - Stay away from things that may catch fire this time

Harley - we didn’t go looking for it last time

Peter - it just kind of happened. 

Pepper - Don’t let it happen again then.

Tony - Best behaviour boys

Pepper - You too Tony

Harley - You’re the worst out of all of us Tony!

Tony - Am not

Pepper - Kind of

Pepper - Look, Bucky and Sam and Clint are coming. And when those three get in the same room I end up wanting to pull my hair out AND kill all three of them. I don’t need to deal with you three as well. 

Tony - alright

Harley - we will behave

Peter - you have our word

Pepper - Jesus

Pepper - I’m going to be bald by the end of the weekend. 

_________________

Emily || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan  

I’d love to know what Steve thinks about that neo-nazi getting punched at the rally yesterday 

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

I mean, punching nazis is kind of my job, I’m all for it. Punch as many nazis as you want

Emily || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @cptrogers

Are you trying to get us to do your job for you 

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

The day my job is no longer needed is going to be a good day.

Barry Zingle @barrybobbarley In reply to @cptrogers

Your job isn’t to punch nazis. Your job is to stop bad guys

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @barrybobbarley

Same thing.

Emily || IA due to School @Steve_Bucky_Stan In reply to @cptrogers

#punchasmanynazisasyouwant

Steve ‘more woke than you’ Rogers @cptrogers1918 In reply to @Steve_Bucky_Stan

#punchasmanynazisasyouwant

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @cptrogers1919

Ohhh I like that #punchasmanynazisasyouwant

_________________

Steve Rogers #ownsme @steveO 

Look at how in LOVE these boys are 

{Pic - Chris and Seb, CW Press Tour}

_________________

Stucky Bitches 

Addy - Y’all

Addy - I got a girlfriend!!

Mia - !!!!!!!!!!

Emily - WHO?

Addy - Lesbian group. she’s new and honestly so sweet!

Emily - I’m so happy for you!

Mia - Ahhh!

Addy - We’re so cute together tho lmao. Like, watch out Stucky

Addy - Kidding, no one can come close to them

Addy - And she agrees!

Addy - She’s an Avengers stan 

Mia - She’s perfect for you then lol

Emily - The Bucky to your Steve

Emily - The Tony to your Pepper

Emily - The Natasha to your Clint 

Mia - The Rhodey to your Sam

Addy - Lmao thanks guys 

_________________

Private Message between Peter Parker and Harley Keener 

Harls - did you just kill me in minecraft?

Pete - and what about it? 

Pete - hey!!

Harls - oh so when I kill you it’s all good but when you kill me’

Pete - i’ma blow up your house

Harls - don’t you dare 

Pete - Ha

Harls - die

_________________

Stanning Steve @Stevestan  

I still can’t believe that Steve is a Shanic.

Steven Barnes @stevenRs In reply to @Stevestan

He’s a Catholic. Do they believe in ghosts? 

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sevenRs

They absolutely do

Steven Barnes @stevenRs In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

What???

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sevenRs

Yeah, it’s a whole thing.

Steven Barnes @stevenRs In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

So why doesn’t Steve believe in them? 

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sevenRs

“Souls go to Heaven, Buck. I don’t think they stay. Doesn’t make sense.” - Steve, right now.

Steven Barnes @stevenRs In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

So, a norse god makes sense but ghosts don’t?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sevenRs

That’s what I said. He told me, and I quote “get off your phone, you’re supposed to be at a black-tie event and this is not ‘appropriate’.”

Steven Barnes @stevenRs In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Wait, what?

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sevenRs

I think Sam tattled on me ‘cause I told Steve it was delayed. So what if the President of a few small counties think I’m crazy? This is important. 

Steven Barnes @stevenRs In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

That’s true. 

Bucky Barnes @sgtbarnes1917 In reply to @sevenRs

He’s wrong about ghosts, tho, they are real. I can see them

Steven Barnes @stevenRs In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Like, all the time?

Steven Barnes @stevenRs In reply to @sgtbarnes1917

Bucky???

_________________

Avengers Assemble 

Iron Man - Do you see dead people, Bucky

Captain America’s Bitch - yes

Iron Man - really?

Captain America’s Bitch - When we go to haunted places.

Captain Ass-Merica - Don’t be ridiculous. 

Captain America’s Bitch - I’ve been to so many and I’ve seen ghosts at all of them! 

Hawkeye - It’s true. We go together. So many ghosts. 

Cap