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“Oh, fuck me,” Shin mutters, coming to a complete halt when he sees what’s ahead. Not a peep from his Ghost either, which just about sums up the situation. Probably just transmatted itself away without him, honestly.

“We’re planning on it,” Lord Shaxx announces with a concerning amount of gravitas. And there he is, standing all high and majestic on floating rock. There isn’t much lighting in this Ascendant Plane, but Shaxx has an uncanny ability to always position himself in front of any backlight, weird ethereal glow or no. Even now, Shin can’t find it in him to complain. Brawny silhouette, shining armor—it’s a good view.

“Looks like he wants to get the fuck outta dodge,” the Drifter observes with a bark of laughter. He nudges Shaxx with an elbow. With that leer on his face, he sounds like he’s having the time of his life, or he's about to.

Unlike Shaxx, the shadows practically cling to Drifter, and it’s really unfortunate that the shadows are doing one hell of a job hugging onto the angles and sinewy curves of his bare shoulders. Shaxx’s damn ethereal backlight’s in cahoots with the shadows too, giving the Drifter’s skin a real enticing gleam of sweat. It looks like they’ve been at it already.

Shin tries to remember where he had last seen a portal out of the Ascendant Realm.

He’s never blundered this bad before. An encrypted invitation to Drifter’s personal off-universe fuck-realm doesn’t offer much subtlety. Shin’s learned to expect anything from decorative Taken in cages to Drifter naked and waiting like the world’s worst booty call. That’s fine. That’s expected.

What he didn’t expect is Shaxx. Hell, if he’d been embarrassed about fooling around with the Drifter before, he’s doubly so now. He’s in trouble, in more ways than he can shake his gun at.

For all Shin knows, Lord Shaxx and the Drifter might’ve finally worked out a deal to get rid of him. Playing the double agent, double spy never does work out. Admittedly, the Drifter being shirtless is an interesting way to go about it—and Shaxx’s still in full armor, that’s normal—but maybe they’re planning to be nice and fuck him one last time before killing him.

Shin takes a cautious step back. He reaches for his shooter.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Renegade,” Shaxx says, undoing the clasps of his titan mark. He lets it fall to the ground in a tangled heap. “Do you believe I have time to devise some elaborate trap for you?” He gestures to Drifter, whose wide grin is the exact opposite of reassuring. “With him, of all people?”

Funny enough, Shaxx using Shin’s moniker lifts a weight off his chest. So he’s still the Renegade. Not Callum’s killer, not Shin Malphur. Drifter doesn’t know. Drifter can’t know, not with that hungry look he’s throwing Shin. Like he wants to devour Shin alive—but the man will put anything in his mouth. Nothing new. Drifter gives the same look to some of his Primevals—eager, expectant—and that’s disturbing enough.

“Well, you know what they say about strange bedfellows,” Shin says. He’s burning. And it’s got nothing to do with the solar energy flickering at his fingertips.

Drifter eyes Shin’s hand, but he breaks into uproarious laughter, teeth shining and sharp. Steps over Shaxx’s mark, the heavy cloth between his boots like a prize he’s already taken, and Shaxx doesn’t seem to mind it either, hand sliding to the back of Drifter’s neck to give it a squeeze that’s on the right side of teasing and threatening. It’s just how Shin likes to get his fingers around Drifter’s throat too.

Shin’s sharpshooter eyes narrow onto that, seeing Shaxx’s thick fingers press into the Drifter’s skin. Unbelievable. Figures Drifter would be happy to spew all the things that get him hot and bothered to anyone that steps into his chunk of the Ascendant Realm. Not that Shin believes they had anything special going on, not for a second.

Drifter tilts his head, enjoying the attention, knowing the onslaught of realizations that Shin’s having.

“Aw, c’mon,” Drifter says, beckoning him as Shaxx’s hand squeezes again to leave a low rasp as he speaks. “I can see your hard-on through your armor. Get over here.”

And Traveler help him, Shin fucking gets.

He gets so fast the alarm bells in his head don’t have a chance to finish ringing danger-danger before he situates himself between Shaxx and Drifter, and then those same bells start ringing a loud mayday the moment Shaxx’s broad chest bumps against his back and Drifter drops to his knees in front of Shin.

It’s a coordinated attack, and Shin’s defense is a sorry mess. (Has he ever had a defense? Probably not.) Shaxx’s hands come around to undo the buckles at Shin’s waist—knows exactly how to get them off too, the bastard—while Drifter waits with his palms kneading into Shin’s thighs. Shin stares, watching in growing disbelief. At himself and at them. He hates not knowing what’s keeping him in place, Shaxx’s hands playing at his crotch or Drifter kneeling so nicely at his feet.

No wonder Shaxx likes to wax poetic about fireteams.

“So, just out of curiosity,” Shin says and, great, his voice comes out rough. Embarrassing. “How long have you two been fucking each other?”

“This is Day One, skip,” Drifter says, cheery, but that might be from Shaxx finally getting a hand around Shin’s dick, pulling it free from his pants. Still gloved, of course, gauntlets and all.

“We got to talking about you,” Shaxx continues, his deep voice at Shin’s ear, hand working him over in slow strokes. Their helmets bump against each other. Shin presses his mouth against the inside piece, feeling his own hot breath blow back at him before the cooling vent kicks in. The gloves are too rough and dry, but Shaxx keeps his grip loose, holding Shin’s dick out for Drifter. “Interesting things. Seems like an awful lot of running though, between the two of us.”

“We thought it’d be easier on ya if the three of us had a get-together instead.” Drifter grins up at them, leaning forward with an insufferable amount of smugness, and slides his mouth over Shin’s erection. The whole length of it. He winks.

Shin’s dick gets real wet, real fast. Shaxx’s dry gloves aren’t so much of a problem anymore.

It’s not the first time Drifter’s given him a blowjob, but Shaxx’s obvious bulge grinding him from behind is giving Shin a dozen new revelations. He tries to steady himself and nearly bites his own tongue getting out, “Did it have to be here?”

“Heard on the grapevine this ain’t Shaxx’s first time gettin’ frisky in the Ascendant Realm,” Drifter says, popping his mouth off Shin for one long regrettable moment.

Shin’s hips cant forward in protest, the tip of his dick brushing over Drifter’s rough beard. No dice. Drifter looks like he’s about to waste words with Shaxx now, and Shaxx takes the bait, the big fucking idiot. They leave Shin hanging like it’s the biggest joke in the world.

“Indeed not! And it will be a tall order if you want to impress me,” Shaxx says. Thankfully, his hand starts tugging at Shin’s pants, yanking them down to expose his ass. One of the few good things about a Titan’s one-track mind.

“Not lookin’ to impress anyone, especially you,” Drifter retorts, his warm breath flitting across Shin’s inner thigh.

“I could stand to be a little impressed,” Shin croaks. He twitches as Drifter’s thumb and forefinger wrap around the base of his dick, keeping him still as if to say, hold up a sec. Shin groans inside his helmet. This is what he gets for doing business with two knuckleheads that love nothing more than hearing themselves talk.

“Oh, you will be,” Shaxx murmurs. That kind of cockiness Shin can’t abide from Drifter, but Shaxx sweeps Shin’s cloak over his own shoulder, giving his ass a promising squeeze. Shin lets it pass without a word. Shaxx notices, letting out a quiet, rumbling laugh that makes the heat in Shin condense like a solar flare. “Drifter, would you mind? Your hands look free.”

In a surprising turn of events, Drifter obliges him by holding out his hand, and Shaxx transmats an old-fashioned glass bottle into his palm. No fuss, no backtalk, mostly because Drifter’s gone and put Shin’s dick in his mouth again, but Shin is still amazed by the compliance. It’s almost amazing as Drifter’s tongue rolling lazy circles around him, and up goes Shin on his toes, trying not to gasp.

“Easy now,” Shaxx says, splaying one hand over the flat of Shin’s stomach to hold him in place.

Shuddering, Shin blinks out a few feeble commands to his HUD, zooming in on the bottle as Drifter spills most of it over Shaxx’s other palm. He reads the label and rolls his eyes. Fantastic. He’s going to be slicked up with the finest gun lube that Shaxx has conned off Tex Mechanica.

“Tex Mech givin’ you free samples now or are you stealing those too?” Drifter asks, the latter half his question more of a hum when Shin nudges himself wetly against Drifter’s beard again. He throws Shin one of those winning smiles, no teeth, just brushes his lips along Shin’s length like he’s got nothing better to do.

“They offered, and I saw a good deal,” Shaxx says and, fuck, there’s a wolfish grin to his voice if Shin’s ever heard it. Coupled with the way Shaxx’s slippery fingers are rubbing their way into him, Shin arches into the touch with a quiet moan.

Damn, so maybe Drifter’s right about easing off the dick-sucking. Shin squirms, back pressed to Shaxx. He hates to give Drifter the satisfaction, but with his pants and belts all bunched up at the knees, he’s going to end up tripping over himself, dick out and coming everywhere, and that’s a fate worse than any death. He’d rather have the Vex erase him out of existence at that point.

Shin transmats the whole lower half of his armor off—still keeps the boots on because, hey, he knows what works—and peeks down at Drifter. High risk, high reward; Drifter looks as cocky as ever, but Shin must be giving him a nice enough show that Drifter’s hand scrambles to the front of his own pants, giving himself an obvious pat down.

Even Shaxx gets a rise out of it, fingers twitching out of rhythm inside Shin. For the first time, Shin thinks he might have the upper hand, and he’s only ever been an opportunist. He lifts one leg, letting it drape over Drifter’s shoulder, drawing him closer. Drifter gives a startled grunt, but his arm comes up to hold Shin’s thigh in place, gaze darkening as he looks up at them.

For Shaxx, Shin reaches behind his shoulder, hand curving around the back of Shaxx’s neck. Shame about their helmets—Shin would have liked to tilt his head back to leave a couple of marks along Shaxx’s jaw and throat.

“C’mon, fuck me already,” he growls, thrusting back into Shaxx and then forward into Drifter’s open mouth.

That gets them. Nothing like finally showing a bit of fervent enthusiasm to get a move on. Drifter puts his mouth to its best use, and Shaxx’s fingers slip out to undo whatever space/time gated mechanism that manages to hold back his massive dick and rub it between Shin’s ass.

“Ah, a moment, one more thing,” Shaxx says, there’s something like the sound of a wrapper being ripped open, and Shin has never once felt such intense jealousy and impatience.

“Really? Really? A condom?” Shin chokes. He ruts back against Shaxx, on the off chance Shaxx might find his ass tempting enough to forego the antiquated safety measures. He takes a peek behind him. Oh, another Tex Mechanica product. Size XXL, because of course it is. They must be really endearing themselves to Shaxx. “I’ll just shoot myself afterwards if you’re so worried—fuck, I’ll shoot you too.”

“Aw, let him have it,” Drifter says, sounding charmed. “It’s kinky.” He even throws Shin a bone by kissing the tip of his dick, which is insulting enough, but a leisurely trip down Drifter’s throat shuts Shin up nice and good.

Of course, someone who brags about slamming down Vex milk wouldn’t have a gag reflex, Shin thinks resentfully. At least, until Shaxx starts pressing into him. Then Shin stops thinking.

Shit, and he really is big. Shin feels himself go weak at the knees, no thanks to the Drifter doing his finest impression of deep space vacuum. Shaxx’s free arm comes to wrap around Shin’s chest, holding him, and Drifter shifts to hike Shin’s leg higher over his shoulder. Shin’s got all but one foot to stand on, and the thought is only a distant concern once Shaxx’s dick pushes in, too slow, too careful, and Shin’s cursing up a desperate storm of nonsense.

“Relax,” Shaxx tells him. A stutter from his rocking hips. “Any harder and I’ll break you.”

It takes a moment for Shin to realize he’s been babbling, demanding and begging. Faster. Harder. Hurry up. His jaw tightens. He’s shaking, strung tight. He can feel Drifter laughing around him, warm chuckling more vibration than noise. Shin wants to mute himself from his helmet, but Shaxx’s making it a personal mission to drive every coherent thought out of Shin’s head, Drifter’s smugness included.

To make up for the indignity, Shin makes a grab onto Drifter’s short hair, digging into his scalp. Drifter’s head pulls back, a wild look in his eyes, and it takes a moment for Shin to see Drifter’s pants all open, erection out but untouched—and maybe Drifter’s been waiting, being patient for his turn—

Then Shin’s making a bunch of noise. Shaxx fucks him steady, deep and so damn good. Shin starts falling apart, bucking back and forth, caught between sensations. He shuts his eyes, panting and shaky. With a low whimper, he lets himself crash into that building heat, back arching, Shaxx’s strong arm across his chest the only thing keeping him upright.

Shin comes into the Drifter’s mouth, voice cracking when he feels Drifter swallow around him, feels Shaxx thrust inside him one more time, still hard, still good even in the aftershocks, and then Shin’s sliding down Shaxx’s solid wall of a body. His vision swims at the edges, white-edged and starry.

Shin’s bare ass makes an abrupt contact with the ground through his own cloak. No worries about Ascendant Dirt getting in places where it shouldn’t be. His leg is still up in the air, ankle resting over Drifter’s shoulder. He shudders, a lingering burn fading from his body. He doesn’t even realize he’s still mumbling pleased noises until the Drifter nips at the ankle of his boot, grinning.

“Renegade, you son of a bitch, how come you never sing this sweet when you bump uglies with me?”

Shin takes in a gulp of air, scowling. He drops his foot from Drifter’s shoulder, kicking him lightly on the chest. “Probably ‘cause Shaxx don’t call it bumping uglies.”

“Oh ho, so you like ‘em classy,” Drifter says, trying to whistle, but his lips are red and wet. He nudges Shin aside, eyes fixed on Shaxx and hands already coming up to fit along the grooves of Shaxx’s leg armor. “Glad we have that in common.”

Shin sits back. Figures the Drifter would still be hungry for more.

“Yeah, yeah. S’why you’re the one on his knees instead of me,” Shaxx says to Drifter, his smooth Crucible baritone gone gravelly. It makes Shin a little jealous, letting the Drifter have Shaxx in his mouth like that, but Shin’s got his turn before. Might as well let the guy have it, for all their fleecing.

The condom makes a whole lot of sense now. Shaxx has always been one to think ahead. Drifter slides the thing off him and tosses it off their floating chunk of rock for some real unfortunate guardian to find in a hundred years.

“Would like to see you on your knees sometime,” Drifter says, casual, and leans in to suck Shaxx off with the same amount of relish as he had with Shin.

“He does looks great on the floor, trust me,” Shin says, finally getting a hold of himself. He edges closer, one hand over Shaxx’s boot, the other at the back of Drifter’s neck.

Shaxx grunts, weight shifting. At a miming gesture from Shin, he grabs onto Drifter’s hair, and Shin’s flattered with the idea of Shaxx taking his cue, knowing that Drifter likes to be teased as much as he enjoys doing the teasing.

“Perhaps you won’t see it again, if you keep talking,” Shaxx says, a very real threat.

Shin shuts up.

Fingers curling into Drifter’s hair, Shaxx pulls, forcing the Drifter’s mouth to slide away until it's at the tip of his length. Drifter flashes Shin a narrow-eyed glance, tongue peeking out, licking the bottom of the shaft. Shin almost laughs; maybe this is the first time Drifter’s had even an inkling that they might be working together against him.

Well, they can’t have any of that. Shin moves behind the Drifter, watching as Drifter tries his damnedest to retaliate by reaching around and grabbing handfuls of Shaxx’s ass to get a real mouthful. It works—Shaxx abruptly shoves his dick into Drifter’s eager mouth and Shin gets inspired.

Making sure Drifter’s busy with his face between Shaxx’s legs, Shin starts flipping the latches to his helmet. He pulls it off, breathing in the stagnant Ascendant Realm air. Not as refreshing as actual in-universe air, but it was getting stuffy in there anyway. Sticky and sweaty as fuck. Shin doesn’t know how Shaxx does it. 

He sets his helmet aside, sees that Shaxx has kept the Drifter pressed close to his dick, murmuring encouragements, and flashes the Titan a quick grin. Clever one, that Shaxx.

With that, Shin leans in behind the Drifter, thrilled to feel the other man tense against him. He puts his lips to Drifter’s ear.

“Keep your hands where they are,” Shin orders, and he knows he’s taken the Drifter off-guard with the unfiltered sound of his voice. He reaches around to palm the Drifter’s hard dick.

With his other hand, he yanks the Drifter’s headband over his eyes, just as an extra precaution—but, oh fuck, does Shin feel the Drifter’s entire dick twitch in his hand, a soft whine as Drifter chokes around Shaxx but doesn’t pull away.

Shaxx hears it too, helmet tilting down to look. The angle shifts, and Shin knows Shaxx is looking at him as well.

And Shin, well, Shin can’t say he hasn’t ever been in the habit of revenge. That would be a lie. He bites down at the base of the Drifter’s neck, hard enough to leave a mark, and jerks him off in quick, merciless motions. Drifter makes some real interesting noises, mouth dripping and running a wet trail against the side of Shin’s face. They’re skin to skin now, and Shin revels in getting to feel the Drifter’s moving jaw against his cheek for the first time.

Above them, Shaxx lets out a soft curse, movements becoming jerky. Shin wonders what Shaxx sees, wonders what exactly he’s getting off to—him curling over the Drifter, the Drifter’s mouth stretched around a cock, making a sloppy mess of them both. Feeling particularly wicked, Shin leans in, nipping along the Drifter’s jaw, making his way down until he can deliver a more thoughtful kiss at the corner of his mouth, the base of Shaxx’s dick—shit, and there’s still plenty of it left despite the Drifter’s portal of a throat.

Shaxx groans, louder this time. He thrusts into Drifter’s mouth, grip tightening, and Shin knows enough to pump his hand faster around the Drifter.

Drifter starts shaking, his moans muffled. It isn’t until Shaxx comes into his mouth that the Drifter comes too, spilling all over Shin’s hand.

“Yee fuckin’ haw,” the Drifter says, coughing weakly. There’s stuff in his beard, dripping from his lips. Despite that, he sounds victorious.

Shaxx stares. The Drifter can probably feel the disapproval even with the makeshift blindfold. His grin is disgusting, as well as shit-eating.

“Yeah. He always says that after,” Shin says, feeling apologetic.

“Hey, hey, take it as a compliment. Tastiest thing I’ve eaten all week.”

“Oh, Hell,” Shin mutters. He waves at Shaxx, hand falling over his helmet in the meantime. “You better leave before he starts saying weirder shit.”

“If I recall, you’re the one who walked in on us,” Drifter scoffs.

Shaxx kneels down to their level. Being in full armor gives the impression of being unruffled, but Shin can tell Shaxx is breathing a little deeper than usual. “Hm,” he says, waiting for Shin to put his helmet on before sliding the Drifter’s headband back into its proper, regrettable place.

To Shin’s exasperation, the look in Drifter’s eyes is somehow hungrier. “‘Lo there again, big fella. You sure you aren’t keen to continue this arrangement?”

“Of course not. This part of the Ascendant Realm is in terrible condition. You run your Gambit matches likes this?”

Drifter opens his mouth. Closes it. Shin doesn’t know if he should transmat some pants on first or his gun.

Shaxx waves his hand. A portal springs up behind him, just like that. Honest to Light, Drifter’s expression looks just as surprised as Shin feels.

“Well? What are you two waiting for? No sense in staying here when we’ve got other options to explore.”

Drifter stands up, pulling up his pants. “Now wait a minute, you just happen to run all your hustles by fucking them?”

“Worked on you, didn’t it?” Shaxx replies, which the Drifter has no answer for, other than looking a little impressed and turned on.

Shin decides to start with some pants.