Chapter 1: Prologue
Chapter by Bananachicken (sizo)
I decided to rewrite this fic since I wasn't happy with the quality of my writting, please let me know what you think :)
France 1923, Three girls walk in the crowded market.
“Oh there she is” The eldest says. “Let's go inside”
“I don't know if it's a good idea Emma, I don't want to find out about my future”
“Oh come on Snow, don't you want to know how your future husband will look like” the third said.
“I don’t care about that Emma, besides, what if she tells us something is going to be wrong in our future lives? I don't want to hear that” Snow said to the girls.
“Well then, wait for us outside then” Emma answered defiantly. She din’t want her friend to wait outside but she knew that her friend’s curiosity would prevail.
“Ok, I'm coming in, but I don't want to know if it's bad”
The three young ladies entered the fortune teller's workplace. It was almost completely lit by candles. It gave the room a mystic feel. Probably what the seer wanted, Emma thought.
Looking at the first one's hand, the seer said “You'll inherit a great fortune and will have great power”
Looking at Snow's hand, she said “You'll have a great love story, will live happily ever after and have many children” the girls giggled at her answer.
Then Emma presented her hand.
“I can't see anything” the fortune teller said after staring at her hand. She tried to stay composed but Emma saw concern in the fortune teller’s eyes. The girls thanked the seer before Snow said “Let's go, we'll miss the bus”
Perplexed, Emma left the place, before deciding to enter again. “What did you see? Please” she asked concerned.
Sighting in defeat, the old lady answered “Do you really want to know?”
“I saw your 34th birthday, dear”
“What will happen?”
“I’m sorry, I don’t know” She confessed, but Emma didn’t believe her “please, tell me what you saw”
“I’m sorry dear, I just saw nothing, nothing at all”
“What does that mean?” Emma asked flustered and worried. Bu her friends called for her “Emma, the bus is here, come”
Composing herself Emma left the small fortune teller’s shop in a hurry.
What did the fortune teller mean by “nothing”? Did she mean she couldn’t see past this day or did she mean there was no future for her past that date? Was her 34th birthday the day she would die? Emma thought. What if she only had 20 years to live? How will it happen?
From that day on, Emma couldn’t take the fortune teller’s words off her mind, and tried to live her life to the fullest, no matter what it took. After all, she had nothing to lose.
10 years later at Cambridge University…
As Killian was preparing for his English exam, he heard footsteps and then his door opened before the most beautiful woman he's ever seen entered his room.
She was soaking wet and whispered cheekily “shhh, please, don't let him find me”
Amused, he stood up slowly so as not to make any noise, Killian said “Who were you running away from?”.
“It's the boarder, he followed me as I was running away” she said with a teasing smile before she added “My friend, Neal Cassidy, we had a fight” she said matter of factly. “You don't mind if I stay here for a bit, at least until the rain stops, I don't want to catch my death out there” she asked still with a smile
“Of course not, here, you can have this” He said handing her a woollen jumper that was behind him on a chair. How could I ever refuse you anything he thought. He turned around to give her some privacy.
“Thank you” she said before “What were you doing before I came, I mean barged in? I hope I am not disturbing you too much!” she asked as she got out of her soaked dress.
“Oh, I'm in first year English literature, I was studying for finals”
“What a coincidence, my friend is also an English literature major, but a fellow actually”
“I know him. Well, I know of him” he said as he turned around.
“Do you?” She asked, quirking her eyebrows.
“Yes, you are quite the legend on campus, everybody knows who you are and who your boyfriend is” He scratched his ears as his cheeks turned red. She found it endearing.
“Well, it’s not raining much anymore, maybe I should leave now” She said sadly looking out of the window.
“It’s still raining, I can't let you get out like this, as you said you’ll catch your death! You can sleep in my bed and leave tomorrow”
“Oh but we've only just met Mr...?” she teased.
Killian walked towards her and handed her his hand “Killian, Killian Jones”.
Emma shook it and introduced herself “My name is Emma Swan, Killian Killian Jones” she laughed loudly before remembering she was hiding and managed to lower her laughter down.
Killian smiled before realising that he would probably be expelled if the boarder found her in his room. He shall not find her then he thought.
“So what about that bed of yours? Is it comfortable? Sturdy to hold two people” Emma asked approaching the bed.
“It’s not too bad, I’ve seen worse. Two people ? I don’t know, I’ve never had someone over before. And don't worry, I didn’t actually mean sharing the bed, I meant I'll sleep on the chair.”
“Oh but I can't let you do that, I can't kidnap your bed, you were kind enough to let me in and let me borrow this jumper. Maybe we can squeeze on the bed”.
“I’m not sure it’s good idea, beside, wouldn’t your “friend” be jealous?” He asked, once again scratching his ear.
“Don’t care about him, I’m a free woman, I do what I want” She said sitting on the bed and signalling him to approach.
And that's how Killian found himself for the first time in bed with a woman, not exactly how he imagined it. They slept reversed from one another, his feet near his head and his feet near hers.
Please don't move please don't move, he thought as he felt his nether parts twitch at the thought of being in the same bed as a woman. Think of something else, think of something else he tried to think of his parents but that's when she decided to move her feet to curl on herself, touching those parts with her feet. She startled, she smiled and turned to him.
“I'm so sorry, It doesn't normally do that” he said apologetically.
“Don't be, I'm flattered and I should hope it does do that normally” she teased him.
Seeing how embarrassed he was, Emma decided to change the subject. “Your accent... where are you from?”
“Ireland, we moved after the treaty was signed. My father was a policeman. He was killed.”
“So are you British or Irish?” she asked to lighten the mood feeling truly curious.
“On paper I'm British, but I don't believe in countries much.” he confessed
“And how did you end up in England?” she was truly fascinated by this young and gorgeous young man with a big heart and a bigger smile.
“I got a scholarship and came to England to study”
“Oh so you're not just kind and good looking, you're also very clever. What a catch. You also have a great erection and I hope to dream about it” she confessed dreamily as she turned around and laid back in bed, unaware of his baffled expression.
Next morning, Killian lend Emma a jacket and a hat in order not to draw attention to her or her now dry dress, and accompanied her to the front door. “Take care of yourself Killian Killian jones” she said, before kissing his cheek and running out on the grass. He stayed there watching her run until she disappeared in the fog.
A couple of days later, as Killian was in the library studying, Neal Cassidy came to him. “You're Killian Jones, right?” he asked.
“Yes I am” He answered putting his book back on the table.
“I came to thank you for helping my girlfriend out the other day, and to return this” He handed him his jacket and hat. “Tell you what, I'm organizing my birthday party this Friday, you should come over, I’ll send you the invitation in the week” he then shook his hands and left.
Killian was flattered. He also didn't have anything better planned for that Friday and that's how he ended up taking Tinkerbell – a friend – to the party.
“I know we don't know each other well, but will you come to this party with me on Friday ? It's at Neal Cassidy's” he had asked and she agreed with great pleasure.
The party was at Neal's father's manor. The house was big and sumptuous and Killian wondered what he was doing there, but he also wanted very much to see Emma again, so he entered the manor.
“I’m afraid I can't let you in” the Butler said, “not without drinking this” he handed them shots which Tinkerbell drank in one go and laughed, followed by Killian.
The music was roaring, people were dancing, laughing and talking the night away. Tinkerbell had long abandoned Killian for Neal who was much more enthusiastic at the idea of dancing with her than him. There were no signs of Emma.
Killian had a couple of shots before feeling dizzy, throwing up behind a fern and falling asleep on a chair.
Killian woke up a couple of hours later, alone in the large living room to the sound of giggling and his date calling Neal's name upstairs. He guessed he didn't need to worry about taking her home after all.
Getting up, he was ready to leave but stopped in his tracks as he saw Emma entering the living room. “Oh hey there Killian, it's so nice to see you again, I had hoped you would come” she said approaching the stairs beside him.
“No don't go up there” he said standing in her way.
“Why not? What's going on?” she asked concerned.
“My friend and Neal are... occupied” he said shyly, unwilling to hurt her feelings.
“Oh is that the case? Well I guess I won't disturb them then” she said smiling, taking her gloves off and closing up the distance between them. She looked him in the eyes for a couple of seconds before taking his hand and leading him to the pool table on the other side of the room.
“You are very handsome, aren't you?” she said, pushing his cowlick aside. He closed his eyes and wetted his lips as she approached him and kissed him. At first he was surprised, he didn't expect her to kiss him, but then he returned the kiss eagerly. The kiss grew passionate and hurried as Emma straddled him and started undoing his pants.
“What are you –” he tried to ask “shhhh, just think of your country” she said now inserting her hands in his pants to caress his now hard cock. “What? Why” he asked between moans and grunts.
“I don't want you to come quickly” she answered, kissing his jawline and climbing on him.
“wait, what about Neal?” “Never cared about him” she said, giggling as she kissed him.
Once again Killian woke up in a different stop than his bed. This time he woke to the sound of Emma and Neal speaking. He was lying on the pool table but facing the other side so neither of them knew he was awake.
“Good morning Neal”
“Emma, you managed to make it” he declared, surprised.
“Yes, thank you Gerard” Emma said, taking a cup of tea off the tray the butler presented her.
“Wait, are you naked under this jacket? Emma?!” Neal asked her, his voice going up in surprise and shock.
“Yes, I thought i'd greet you in my birthday suit, in honour of your birthday” she said teasingly.
“Oh and who is that beside you, may I ask ?” he said, now angry.
“Oh remember my friend Killian?”
Friend? Killian thought. Does that make me her friend as much as Neal ? He wondered.
Killian turned around and looked at Neal guiltily “It's not what it looks like Neal”
“I'm sure it's exactly what it looks like, Killian” he spat “Get up, get dressed and leave my house.”
Killian did as Neal asked while Emma got up and wore the dressing gown Neal handed her with a smile on her face.
“See you around Killian” she said. Killian turned around and smiled at her and noticed the impatient look on Neal's face. Why isn't he angrier? How many friends does Emma Have? Does Neal know about that? Is that why he’s not angrier, because they’re only friends as she said? . He wanted to be special, wanted her to be more than a friend, but who am I kidding, I don't stand a chance, if she doesn’t even want to be more than friends with Neal Cassidy, she wouldn’t want to be more than friends with me…
I am so sorry for taking so long to update, I'll try to finish this fic as quickly as possible during confinement and I hope you like it. Please leave comments, they fuel me like gaz does to a car. If now one reads it then what's the point of putting so much effort in it you know ( especially that it's an adaptation of a movie so I can't publish it). Anyways, I hope you're all ok.
Killian went on with his life, going to class, studying, helping at the church and the hospital until one day...
It was a Sunday – he remembered it well, He was helping the priest that day at church – Emma entered the church in a white dress, looking stunning as always, but her eyes were not their happy giggly eyes he saw before. Her eyes were sad and nostalgic.
He had read a couple of days earlier that her mother had drowned in a ship accident going back to America but he didn't know how to get to her to present his condolences, no funeral was held to hiw knowledge.
"Emma, I'm sorry for your loss" he said as she approached him. She smiled sadly, looking him straight in the eyes for a couple of seconds before almost forgetting why she was there.
"I came to see you, I came to say goodbye Killian. I'm leaving England."
"You're leaving ? Where are you going ?"
" Everywhere, I'm going to see the world" she says now looking away "and I don't want to lose touch with you, you're the only friend I don't want to lose from this chapter of my life"
Killian felt a pang in his throat at the news she gave him but tried to see the bright side of it, she wanted to stay in touch. "When are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow" she says once again with a sad smile.
"Is Neal going with you ?"
She smiled sneakily "No, he doesn't even know I'm leaving"
"Then let me accompany you, I've always wanted to travel"
She approached him now slowly, as if trying to calm him down "No Killian, you need to stay and finish your studies, you have a bright future waiting for you. I couldn't possibly forgive myself if I ruined it for you" Suddenly she wandered why she wanted to leave altogether, the world was not worth losing sight of his blue eyes, but the decision had been made long before they met.
Coming closer to him, she gave him a quick but passionate kiss before running away in the direction of the doors. Turning around, she gave him a final smile before leaving him standing in the middle of the church on his own.
Killian thought this would be the last time he sees her or hears from her but she had other ideas in mind.
She would send him letters every month or so, letting him know about her new adventures, where she was, what she was doing, always (deliberately ?) leaving out who she was doing it with. She seemed to be having fun, but often her words would be tinted with nostalgia, reminiscing that day she entered his room and how out of all the rooms in the dormitory, it had to be his. "My killian" she would say.
And as months and years went by, the letters and post cards became scarce and before he knew it it had been three years since he last saw her and a year since he last received a letter from her. He thought she probably met someone and forgot about him.
He now had a new routine, he would go to class to teach then go volunteer at the soup kitchen or the shelter, meet his lady friend (he refused to call her otherwise), belle, and then go back home.
That day was no different, except his "lady friend" wanted to go to the cinema that day. That's when he saw her. The news about the civil war in Spain had ended and the movie had begun 20 minutes earlier. And there she was, stunning as always. She played the part of a Roman slave in the movie, but true to herself, she wasn't going to submit to her holders until they killed her.
When he left the cinema that day he couldn't take her off his mind, not even while he slept with belle.
A month passed and all he could think about was how much he missed her, how he missed her letters and her calling him "her Killian".
Until one day he received an unexpected letter from France.
"My dearest Killian,
I miss you so much. I'm sorry I didn't write for so long, forgive me ?
I moved to Paris and I'd really like to see you soon, please come visit me.
Here's my new address :
13 Rue de Montmartre,
I'll be eagerly waiting for you my Killian."
She hadn't signed the letter but he knew very well who it was from.
The next day his bag was ready and he embarked on his journey to Paris to meet with Emma.
It was almost 8 o'clock when Killian arrived in Paris, Killian found his way easily to the apartment Rue Montmartre.
“Bonjour, est-ce que c'est ici que vit Mademoiselle Swan ?” (Good morning, does miss Swan live here ?)
“Oui, monsieur” (yes sir) said the old man holding the bar next door.
He entered the building and found the door opened to a hidden figure behind a big camera and a woman standing in front of it. He guessed the hidden figure must be Emma.
He didn't want to interrupt her even though he wanted to see her but he didn't need to because she felt his presence and stopped through taking the picture.
She turned around and saw him “Killian !” she said with excitement as she ran and jumped on him giggling and laughing with happiness. “You came” she buried her face in his neck. Killian thought he couldn't be any happier in his life than at this moment.
The woman standing behind Emma cleared her throat to separate the two lovers, whose public display of affection disturbed.
“Sorry Samantha” Emma said annoyed. “We'll pick up were we left off tomorrow, all right ? Could you close the door behind you please ? ”
She nodded in response before seeing Killian and giving him a flirtatious smile. She presented her hand to him but Emma intercepted it before Killian could kiss it and shook it pretending it was presented at her. With an understanding smile, the woman named Samantha left.
Emma followed her and closed the door behind her then trotted her way back to Killian with a blinding smile.
Emma took his hands in hers and put them on her hips and approached him, this time slowly, as if it where the first time they ever touched or kissed, her smile never leaving her as she took in his boyish yet manly looks. Se felt like entranced, completely under his spell.
“My Killian, how I missed you” she said Hugging him once more before passionately kissing him. Killian returned the kiss just as fervently walking her to the wall. Once there she jumped, crossing her legs around him and started seeking friction while he tried to unfasten her pants. As he finally managed to undo the button, the door opened yet the man standing behind it didn't look directly at them, but behind him which gave them enough time to straighten up and pull apart.
“August, it't's you !” the man called August entered the room. He wasn't a very tall man, roughly the same size as Killian, however he was followed by a taller man.
“Guys, this is Killian, my friend” she presented him to the two men who now entered the apartment and closed the door.
“Hello they both said”
“so you're the famous Killian” August looked him over once and then forcefully smiled “I thought you'd be taller”
Emma frowned at him, she knew he was jealous but it didn't justify insulting her friends and guests.
Killian on the other hand smiled, amused at his remark since this August wasn't that tall, in fact his was slightly shorter. He then looked at the other man who seemed to be staring at him intently. He felt unsettled deeply. He even wondered if he had something stuck in his teeth or lipstick on his face.
“Killian, this is August and Graham.” August looked once more at him with disdain before saying “Emma darling, it's almost time and you're not ready ! Come on, we need to be on the go”
“On the go ?”
“Yes, Emma has an exhibition at the art gallery down the street, she is a very talented artist” the man called Graham answered.
“We just came to retrieve the Champaign and get ready, it was nice to meet you Killian. Where will you be staying ? If you want I could recommend you a couple of nice hotels in the area”
“Nonsense, Killian will be staying here !” Emma looked almost offended
“Darling, there isn't enough room” August answered, his jaw clenching.
“Well then you might have to leave then to make room for him, you have your own appartment”
“Stop joking and get ready, he said giving her a kiss”
“Don't mind August he's jealous, he knows how much Emma loves you. She always talk about you and how you saved her back at college”
“Saved her is an exaggeration” Killian laughed “I merely helped her out”
“Well it seems like she's very grateful for it if she's still talking about it now” Graham said going to the corner to ruffle through what seemed to be his things.
“Killian, could you come please ?” Emma asked from a different room.
Entering the room his breath caught by the sight : Emma had changed out of her top and pants and was now wearing a lovely red dress with thin straps but it was undone in the back.
“Could you help me fasten the dress please ?”
He approached, almost hesitantly “Is August not going to be jealous ?”
“Of course he'll be, but who cares ?” she said, urging him to approach her faster and he obeyed. Closing the distance, he couldn't prevent himself brushing her naked skin which ignited a fire in both of them once again. She turned and held him by the collar while she once again kissed him passionately until they were once again interrupted, but this time by Graham.
“You have to hurry up or you'll be late for your own show Emma”.
Separating, Killian fastened her dress before she left the room, not looking at either of them.
Next on Head In The Clouds
So here's chapter 3. I made edits and drew pictures for this fic and Selfish for once, If you're interested in seeing them you can find them on my tumblr @marcella2727. hope you like this chapter. Please let me know what you think.
Killian walked to the gallery with Graham. He felt the tall man him staring at him during the walk but every time he looked at him, he'd look elsewhere.
Once he got inside the Gallery, Killian spotted Emma. She was now surrounded by many people, men and women, all congratulating her.
“She's very talented, isn't she ?” Graham said, now looking at him. “she also has this ability, to shine in the middle of a room, much like you”
Killian didn't know how to take this statement. Was it a compliment ? He thought. He shrugged it off and decided to talk about Emma “You're right she does shine, doesn't she ?”
One thing was for sure to Killian, Emma and Graham's relationship was not common. He couldn't put a name on it, was it friendship ? Was there more between them ?.
The rest of the night went by quickly after a couple of glasses of Champagne and then everyone was leaving and Emma, Killian Graham and August went back to Emma's apartment.
“Killian, you can sleep on the couch, it's very comfortable, you can ask Graham, he used to sleep on it before he got his own bed” She said with a smile pointing out the tiny bed at the far end of the living room. Killian hadn't noticed it before but now, knowing the other man had a bed in Emma's apartment, Killian grew even more curious about their relationship.
The couch seemed comfortable indeed, but Killian regretted it wasn't Emma's bed he was sleeping in tonight.
Emma left for the room with August. In the meanwhile, Graham took off his shirt and went to sit on his bed with what looked like a medical book.
Killian changed out of his clothes and laid down on the couch to sleep. And just as he was starting to drift off, the laughter from the other room begun which woke him up. He sat up and looked at Graham who was now looking at him instead of the book.
Graham could read sadness on his face. He had understood Emma was more to Killian than a friend.
Killian closed his eyes. Trying to brush off their laughter but that's when it turned into moans and he was certainly not prepared for that.
“He just wants to make you jealous and he knows the walls are paper thin.” Graham said, leaving his book and approaching from the other end of the room. He sat beside him on the couch.
Killian watched him as he took one of his hands, and looked him in the eye “don't let him get to you” he said, caressing it gently.
“it's too late” Killian got off the couch and started changing.
“Where are you going ?” The other man asked.
“I'm going back to England” with that said, he packed his bags and left, closing the door behind him.
Killian got to Gare d'Austerlitz and waited in line before he bought the first ticket leaving Paris to get to Calais.
He couldn't stop thinking about what had happened in those less than 24 hours, Emma and her friend August. Graham and his odd behavior. What did he think leaving everything behind him ? He shouldn't have left like that.
Before noticing it, 2 hours had gone by and it was now time to embark on the train.
Emma got inside the train station with Graham, she ran to the trains and asked around for the train to Calais, shouting “Killian”.
Killian felt like someone was calling him but looking around, he couldn't see anyone.
As the train started moving he heard it again. Looking out of the window he saw Graham, then Emma, who saw him too. “Killian, KILLIAN !!”
“EMMA! What are you doing here” he said, he started moving from his chair and retrieving his bag.
“Killian please come, hurry, please” she said, begging him to listen to her.
And that he did. He opened the door of the slow yet moving train and jumped.
Running to him, Emma jumped on him, hugging him tight.
“Don't ever do that again, do you hear me ?” she said, then kissed his lips hard, once, then twice and then a third time. “Don't leave without telling me”
“How did you know where to find me ?” he said, his eyes almost watering, moved by Emma's display of feelings.
“Graham told me you decided to go back to England. It was just a matter of finding the right station.”
“What about August ?” Killian Asked.
“It's over, It was never a thing, he was just a friend.”
“Like I'm a friend ? Like graham's a friend ?” Killian asked, dropping her, displeased by her choice of words.
“No, Killian ! You're my Killian, you're not just a friend, you're... you're more.” she said sincerely, looking him in the eyes. She knew it wasn't a lot but it was all she could give him.
Killian knew he couldn't ask more of her so he dropped it at that moment. Only noticing the other man then.
The three walked back to the apartment rue Montmartre.
“I have to gather my books and go to class, I'll see you guys later” Graham said before kissing Emma on the cheek. “Oh, what the hell !” He said before kissing Killian too and running out of the flat.
“That was odd” Killian said, puzzled.
“What is ?” Emma asked “ He obviously likes you, I knew he would. As I know you like him too...” Emma said, playing with the lapels of his shirt.
“Yeah, I like him too but I wouldn't have felt at ease kissing him on the cheek” He looked at Emma, eyes full of questions.
“Killian you asked me something earlier” Emma led him to the couch. “You asked if you're a friend like Graham.” she looked at their now intertwined hands. “Graham and I don't share the same thing we share you and I. Graham is, and has been my closest friend for a bit now, but Graham and I were never a thing and we could never have been a thing. Graham only likes men, he's gay. And judging from what I saw yesterday, he seems interested in you” Emma looked him in the eyes as if she tried to read his mind.
“I like you, you know that” Killian said
“I know Killian” Emma didn't know what to expect of him.
“Do you like me ?” he said, his voice full insecurity. “Of course I do” she answered before he could think otherwise.
“Then why does it feel like you're trying to set me up with your friend ?”
“I'm not, Killian, I just want us to be friends, the three of us” Emma said. She didn't know what to expect as an answer. She was asking a lot of him, she knew that. She didn't even know if she could ask something like this of him.
“I don't know what to say.” he said, surprised. “I don't even know how it would work”
Emma answered with a smile “Then let us show you. In the meanwhile, you should go to bed, I have business to attend to.”