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A Glimpse

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2013 – Long Beach, California. Jimin’s home.

“Oh my god…” Jimin gasps. The papers in his hands begin to shake. Blinking his eyes and setting the paper on his desk, he re-reads the sentence that has his heart all up in a knot. He re-reads it once, twice more. Like it’s a bubble about to burst and disappear out of existence, he gingerly picks it up and refolds it. Counting to ten, he opens it again, and the words are still there. He tosses it on his mattress in disbelief. Knees wobbling, he almost topples over. His hip bangs against the desk as he teeters but the pain barely registers. A dull thud pulses over the bone and he subconsciously reaches down to pat it. He opens his mouth and bellows. “Oh, my fucking god, I can’t believe this! Jungkook, Jungkook! Come here, quick!”

There is a loud clatter in the bathroom, a squawking noise and then a thud. A second later, there is a bang, then the thumping sound of feet are rushing down the hallway toward his bedroom. Jimin jumps when the door bursts open to a frenzied Jungkook.

“What?” Jungkook asks. He rushes over, almost tripping on his socked feet. His hands are wet from being hastily washed, but they cup Jimin’s cheeks anyway. Jimin’s mom is trailing behind him too, eyes wide and frightened, curious to see. “What is it? What’s happened?”

“I…” Jimin breathes. He instinctively reaches up and grabs Jungkook’s hands, locking their fingers together. He’s trembling, he knows it, and he might be a tad bit dramatic for this, but it feels like he’s in a dream. He shakily points his finger at his bed, toward the letter open and innocuous resting atop his sheets. “Read it. Tell me I’m not crazy.”

“Jimin, honey…” Jimin’s mom approaches then and wraps her arm around his waist, eyes widening in realization.

“Read it,” Jimin tells Jungkook again when the other doesn’t make a move.

Jungkook hesitantly steps back, eyeing Jimin warily. It takes a moment for him to free his hands, but he steps over to the bed, picks up the letter, and reads it under his breath. It's too quiet; they can’t hear him.

“Jimin...you,” Jungkook cuts off, shoulders raised and tense. “you’re not crazy.”

When he turns around and beams at Jimin, Jimin feels his vision swoop, the air in his lungs punches out of his body. Dizzy and wild-eyed he looks at his mom, who looks like she’s about to cry. Jimin’s eyes are glistening too.

“A full ride, Jimin,” Jungkook announces. “A full-ride scholarship to Colombia University! NEW YORK, BABY!”

Jimin sobs out of joy. Picking up his small mother and swinging her around. She’s full-on sobbing now, so proud of her son.

“My baby boy,” she cries into his ear. “You did it. I knew you could!”

Jungkook hovers by and brings Jimin into his arms when his mom pulls away.

“I have to call your father!” she says, wiping at her eyes. She rushes out of his room, singing his praises all the way down the stairs.

Jimin is suddenly in the air, Jungkook having snatched him up by his thighs, holding him up high enough to almost hit the ceiling. He clutches at Jungkook’s shoulders, laughter uncontrollable. He’s shaken, and he feels stupid, but he can’t stop crying, the tears in his eyes falling freely down his cheeks. Jungkook is squeezing him close and tossing him up and down in elation.

“I did it!” Jimin shouts, smiling down through his tears at Jungkook. “I fucking did it!”

“You did it!” Jungkook beams at him, eyes crinkling. “You worked so hard, Jimin. You’re incredible,” he drops Jimin down until he’s back on his feet, and immediately starts pressing kisses all over his face. “I’m so proud of you. I knew you could. You deserve this, you deserve everything.”

Jimin clutches at his shirt, letting Jungkook kiss his cheeks, his eyes, and nose, forehead and lips.

“I love you,” Jungkook breathes into his ear, hugging him in close.

“I love you,” Jimin presses in, sloppily mashing his lips against Jungkook’s. “I couldn’t have done it without you. I couldn’t have. I love you, so much.”

“No, no,” Jungkook shakes his head and pulls back to brush Jimin’s bangs away from his face. They rest their foreheads together for a moment and take it all in. Jimin brings his hands around to play with the hair at the nape of Jungkook’s neck. “This is all you, babe. All your nights staying up to study, all those honors projects, your amazing grades. God, you’re so brilliant. You’re amazing. You could do anything you put that amazing little head of yours too.”

They giggle, Jimin slumping against his boyfriend.

“I have a great support system,” Jimin mutters. “You’ve been so patient with me; letting me miss out on our date nights to do homework, loving me and being concerned when I didn’t text you for days. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Jungkook presses a kiss to Jimin’s forehead. “Congratulations, Jimin.”

Jimin’s mother comes into the room and coos at them. They blush, stepping away from the other.

“Jungkook, darling, get him to take a picture with the letter,” she brings out a camera that Jimin didn’t know they owned and hands it to Jungkook.

“Mom!” Jimin pouts. His eyes are all red and swollen. “My face looks bloated.”

“Cute either way,” Jungkook points out. He takes the letter and maneuvers Jimin into a pose, lifting his arms so he can showcase the acceptance letter to the lens. Before he steps away, he kisses his cheek.

“Look at him,” Jimin’s mother sniffles. “Our baby boy.”

Jungkook grins at Jimin’s pouty expression.

“Come on now, smile,” Jungkook aims the camera towards him. “Say, Columbia!”

For all his griping and pouting, and all his watery eyes and dried tear streaks on his cheeks, Jimin smiles wide and proud, teeth glinting when the flash goes off.

Snap.

“Columbia!”

 

 


 

 

 

They spend their last summer vacation together full of days without boredom.

They remain together unless circumstances demand otherwise, and they rarely do.

They spend time going on camping trips with their friends or going on camping trips alone. They go on movie theater dates, take walks along the beach, and swim in the ocean. They get so tan that they sport new moles, then kiss the new brown spots that adorn each other’s skin with love. Days are spent out in the sun, with them locking fingers as they run through shallow waves, and through sands and neighborhood parks. They even stay out so late, they often watch the sun rise and set from their perches on each other’s laps.

They attend parties, dance dirty with other people and then dance dirty with each other. They drink until they’re forced to drag one another back home, sloppily crawling into bed with quiet giggles gasping out of their mouths. Sometimes, they’re too drunk to even get aroused, choosing to lazily get each other off the next morning instead. They’ll kiss sloppily and complain about the taste, but that’s okay because those are some of their fun mornings; the mornings where they create memories together with banter and jokes.

There are so many nights filled with too many messy make-out sessions in houses unfamiliar to them. And that’s okay too, because they love each other, so much, and they’ll never fail to remind one another. Their hangovers are the worst. They pat each other’s backs throughout the vomiting, one making sure they drink enough water, and one making sure they eat something. They take care of each other like they both promised each other they would. They’re always taking care of each other, even when they fight, and even when they’re sick of it.

On slower days, they stay in. They hardly move from under the sheets, tracing fingers over cheeks and lips. You’re so beautiful, one of them would say and the other would smile and snuggle in closer, even if the weather was too warm. Those days, they can’t stand being separated. They shower together, eat meals together, keep each other’s hands safe within their own. They spend days sleeping in each other’s beds, often kept tangled together so deep in those hours when Jimin knows he should be gentle, even softer in the nights when Jungkook gets this look in his eyes.

Sometimes it scares Jimin when it looks like Jungkook is about to break. It looks like Jungkook is waiting, watching him as if he’s about to fade and take his whole world away. So, he treats him like glass, makes love him to gently and slowly, so careful that Jungkook nearly cries. He doesn’t, can never bring himself to tears yet because they still have a little bit of time. He can’t bring himself to act as if their time is limited because it hurts too much. So Jungkook forces himself to smile gently and to love unconditionally. Jimin commends him for being the positive one out of them both, for being the strong one when even he himself is too afraid to face facts.

They never talk about it, not really.

Jimin however, never stops reminding Jungkook that they’ll be okay. No matter what happens, things will work out because they love each other. They believe that the universe will somehow bend to their will, that somehow, someway, their lives will end with the two of them. Because that’s how all love stories end, right? If they speak of it and make promises to each other, stay faithful and true, it’ll be spoken into existence; they know it. They’ll be successful, get married, raise a puppy, adopt children. They just know that they’ll grow gray together. It’s been written into their destinies. Ever since they first laid eyes on one another, they were meant to last forever.

“Life just works funny in that way,” Jimin whispers one night, wiping a tear from Jungkook’s cheeks as he hiccups softly. It’s the first time Jungkook cries about it. He isn’t hysterical, but it breaks Jimin’s heart either way. He keeps nodding as if he’s convincing himself to believe, to have faith. “I love you. I could never stop loving you.”

“Promise?” Jungkook asks desperately, bottom lip quivering.

“Yes,” Jimin kisses his red-tipped nose. “I promise.”

 

 


 

 

 

They still don’t talk about it. Not the reality of it. Not until it’s literally the last day Jimin has in Long Beach.

Jimin’s parents drive them all to the airport, Jungkook clutching his hand in the backseat of the car the entire way. He’s been silent majority of the morning and because of that, Jimin makes sure to smile extra big and made sure to cuddle him a little longer when they woke. He doesn’t dare let himself roam away too far, for he doesn’t know when he’ll be able to touch him again.

Jimin’s father and mother, surprisingly, aren’t teary-eyed at all. They are proud and grinning, happy to send off their son across the country to experience college life at one of the best universities in New York. They drag Jimin’s few suitcases from the car where they park, babbling away at each other and occasionally laughing merrily.

They are the firsts to bid farewell.

“Baby boy,” Jimin’s mother sighs as she holds him. “I’m so proud of you. You’re going to have so much fun. You’re going to make all those professors love you and make all these new friends. I can’t wait to hear all the stories.”

Jimin’s dad also hugs him, “You have to promise to call your mom. Keep us updated on how you’re doing.”

Jimin smiles and pats his dad’s back, “I promise.”

Jimin’s mom drags him in one more time, kisses his cheek and let’s go.

Jungkook fidgets behind them, eyes wide and glassy. Jimin’s parents pass him by so they can have a moment, and she pats him on the shoulder sympathetically, “We’ll be in the car.”

Jimin sees the first tears start falling as Jungkook throws himself at him and this time it appears Jungkook can’t help but start sobbing openly.

Jimin’s heart aches at seeing his boyfriend breakdown like this. He holds him tight, holds him harder when he starts to feel Jungkook’s shoulders shake with his cries. He doesn’t even grimace when a wet nose touches the skin of his neck. The sounds of Jungkook hiccupping into his ear makes this all too real.

He’s leaving. He’s leaving.

He’s never been anywhere remotely far from his hometown and now he’ll be hundreds and hundreds of miles away from the person he loves. He won’t get to hold him to sleep for a while, won’t get to wake up to his sleep riddled face. He won’t get to kiss him whenever he felt like it or even reach out to hold his hand. He’ll be too far. He can’t just have him come over at the simple send of a text or a call. It’ll be months until he gets to see him in the flesh, all warm and radiant. How could he possibly withstand that?

When he gets lonely, what else is he supposed to do? Who else can he go to? Jungkook won’t be around.

He tries and tries so hard, but he can’t help crying too when the lump in his throat won’t dislodge. This hurts more than anything he’s ever felt before.

It feels like goodbye.

Now he understands what Jungkook must’ve felt when he looked at Jimin like he was about to fade, about to disappear. Because he basically will be.

Jungkook whimpers when he feels Jimin shudder against him. He shoves his eyes into the crook of Jimin’s neck and Jimin’s voice catches on a sob. He doesn’t know what to do.

“J-Jungkook, baby,” he tries to coax his boyfriend into looking at him. Jungkook shakes his head vehemently.

Everyone in the airport gives them space, avoids staring as they both cling and hold on to each other as if it’s their last.

“I-I can’t, Jimin,” Jungkook finally says after a few minutes. He can’t seem to catch his breath. “I can’t d-do this.”

“What?” Jimin shakes his head and wipes the tears gathering at his nose. “Yes, you can. Of course, you can.”

“I just can’t help feeling like this is b-bad,” Jungkook finally pulls away, but he doesn’t look at Jimin quit yet. His face is splotched red in odd places, tears hanging heavily off his chin. His lips are pulled down into a frown. Jungkook brings his hands to his eyes and bends over to get a hold of himself. “I just keep feeling like, if you get on that plane-“

“Jungkook…” Jimin interrupts with hurt in his voice.

“No, please,” Jungkook pleads. “Hear me out, baby.”

Jimin nods, “Okay, okay. Anything for you.”

“I just…” Jungkook finally drops his hands and Jimin’s tears fall faster at seeing how broken-hearted he looks. He’s never seen anything like it before. His strong, positive Jungkook, all battered down. “I keep feeling like, if you get on that plane, you won’t ever look back. And, and I know it sounds silly. It sounds so melodramatic, I know. I know I’m supposed to support you and back you one hundred percent on every decision you make for yourself because that’s what a good boyfriend should do, right?”

Jimin stares, dries his eyes and nods hesitantly when Jungkook doesn’t carry on.

“But even after telling myself that, every day this summer, my head and my heart don’t seem to meet eye to eye,” Jungkook smiles sadly. He looks down at his feet and after a moment grabs hold of both Jimin’s hands. “I should know that you’ll come back in the winters and summers. I should know that this isn’t going to be the last time that I see you, but you’re going to be in New York, and I’ll just be here, left behind. Your stupid little boyfriend who still needs to graduate high school in a city you should forget about. B-because you’re destined for great, amazing things. But, I just…I’m so sorry for being shitty. For being this shitty before you leave, but I have to ask, Jimin. I have to ask you.”

Jimin’s eyes close, he tips his head backward, hoping that his tears will stop coming, hoping that the lump in his throat will finally go away. It doesn’t. Everything aches. His heart aches, his stomach is queasy. It’s hard to breathe, “Ask me what?”

“Stay?” Jungkook whispers. It looks like it even pains him to ask. “Stay with me?”

Jimin opens his eyes and stares, stares so long that Jungkook blanches.

“I know. It’s stupid, right? But you can go to school here, you can get into any fucking university here and they’d be happy to have you. They’d be some dumb bastards if they didn’t give you a full ride just like Columbia. We can get an apartment, I can go to the same school as you. We wouldn’t have to wait years to be with each other. Jimin, four years. That’s such a long time. Aren’t you scared? I just have such a bad feeling about this and maybe I’ve let my fear blind me, but I can’t help it. You’re probably so disappointed in me, I know you must be, because… because I should have faith. I know I should. I just love you. I love you so much. I would follow you to the ends of the Earth, as cliché as that sounds. But I choose you, I choose you over everything. I choose us, and I want you to be on the same page with me.”

“Oh, Jungkook,” Jimin smiles softly, he moves in and gathers his boyfriend in his arms. “I love you. I love you more than anything. I know I will love you through the problems we’ll go through.”

Jungkook nods his head quickly, hopefully, “Yes. We can do anything together.”

“But time has nothing on us., Jimin shakes his head. “Four years in college won’t break us. We’d be fools to let it try. I have to do this, for me, for us.”

Jungkook freezes up, he goes so quiet and stiff that Jimin worries at his bottom lip. He just knows he’s probably shattered Jungkook’s heart. He probably feels trampled all over, but he can’t just throw away this opportunity. It’s a once in a lifetime deal and he plans to experience it. He’ll never stop loving him, he knows this to be true. Jungkook must realize this as well and maybe when he’s recovered from this awful farewell, he’ll come to and see Jimin’s reasonings. It’s for the best.

“If we can get through this first year, I’ll get a job and start saving up for a ring. One you deserve,” Jimin smiles as he tries to lighten up the mood. He can’t help but become afraid of Jungkook’s reaction, what must be going through his head when heartbreak is so forthright in his emotions as of now.

Jungkook steps back, face a blank slate of emotions.

“I promise you, hey, look at me,” Jimin nudges his chin up until they lock eyes. “I promise you, we’ll be okay.”

Jungkook sighs, defeated or relieved, Jimin can’t tell, “Okay.”

“Have faith in us,” Jimin places his forehead against his boyfriends. “Have faith in me.”

“Okay, babe. I will. I’ll try,” Jungkook whimpers again. He shakes his head and scrubs at his eyes.

Jimin loves him so much. He’s even endeared when Jungkook cries.

Jimin smiles again, leans in to kiss his lips, “I have to go now.”

Jungkook slumps forward and sobs into the collar of his shirt. It’s so hard to let go.

“Okay,” he says in a wobbling voice.

“I love you. God, Jungkook. I love you so much,” Jimin kisses his hair, his temple.

“Call me when you land,” Jungkook begs when he looks up. “Promise.”

“I promise,” Jimin picks up his carry-on bag, kisses Jungkook once more, twice, thrice more times before he really must go.

“Don’t forget about me,” Jungkook tries to joke and smile while he cries.

“Never,” Jimin shakes his head.

As he turns around, his face crumples. He tries to compose himself, but he can’t. He doesn’t dare look back, afraid of what state of a mess he’s left Jungkook behind.

It physically pains him to turn his back on Jungkook, it feels so wrong to walk away, but he does so knowing that this isn’t the end. If his heart is any indication, he won’t ever let go of Jungkook.

He really meant what he said about coming back, saving up a ring. He plans on marrying Jungkook as soon as he can because that’s what he’s meant to do.

Because if they’ve spoken it into existence, then that’s what it will be.

It’s written in their destinies.

 

 


 

 

 

Jimin doesn’t come home for the winter. Jungkook tries to not hurt when he tells him so over the phone. Jimin plans to stay over the holidays in his dorm, alone. He never bought a plane ticket back home and now that it’s so close to the holiday, the tickets are ridiculously priced.

“It’s okay!” Jungkook encourages. He glances off to the side at the gifts he’s collected for Jimin. He calculates how much postage is going to cost to send it to his dorm. “We still have summer.”

They Skype as often as they can and text each other every day.

It’s right around finals that Jimin begins to reply less and less. He doesn’t log into Skype as often either. When he did find the time to do so, he looked awful. His eye-bags were deep and purple, Jimin explained that he caught the flu and that finals were killing him. He kept apologizing and Jungkook always, always remained understanding.

It’s around Spring when Jimin announces that he got a job. Jungkook is happy for him, he can’t believe Jimin is taking on so much his first year. It’s a receptionist job at a hospital near his dorm. It pays well and it’s in the career path that he is aiming for. He is elated and Jungkook doesn’t bother asking what this means for the summer, fearing for the worst. Deep down, he knows damn well what it means.

When he officially starts working, he starts calling less, starts texting less. Jimin misses Skype dates, forgets to call after parties he’s attended. He becomes bitter when he sees that Jimin has enough time to update his Facebook status, but not enough to text his boyfriend of three years back.

He’s busy. He’s sorry.

He makes empty promises, prioritizes his new friends over his life back home.

It’s fine. It’s fine all the fucking time, Jungkook continues to say.

One night, after watching Snapchats Jimin has uploaded of himself at some outrageous party, he starts to doubt everything.  Maybe Jungkook expected too much of him. Maybe, he was naïve. Maybe he should start going out more too, instead of staying home waiting for a call or text that doesn’t come. He’s been bailing on his friends, pushing off plans all because of Jimin who’s living up his life across the country, without him. It’s pathetic, really. He feels pathetic.

His mother worries. He’s a teenage boy, he should be out having fun and acting stupid. But instead, he feels shitty. He wonders if they both do. Or if it’s just him.

It just isn’t working out like they thought it would, and Jungkook is left frustrated and hurt.

After a while, Jungkook starts expecting less of him. He starts requesting less too. It’s what he receives after all. It’s what Jungkook starts giving back too, a half-assed effort on both parts.

He starts going out more, ignoring some of the rare texts Jimin sends. He starts to feel a little better too, which should be wrong. He shouldn’t feel better without Jimin at his side, but it just seems that that’s how this thing goes.

He’s not trying to be petty either. He’s just come to some conclusions after having had a couple of revelations. He’s grown up a little bit, grown up away from Jimin. He becomes different too, just as Jimin has.

He starts missing him less. He doesn’t bother trying to track what Jimin has been up to from social media sites. He copes by strengthening friendships with his friends at home, meeting tons of new people from the party scene they circulate around. He feels okay. Aches less. He barely even dreams about Jimin anymore.

It’s right before another round of finals that they finally resolve it for what it is.

They haven’t spoken in weeks. The only updates they have of each other are the ones they bother to see from their social media platforms. Lord knows what they’re up to these days. Neither of them has bothered to ask.

Jungkook gets a call when he’s out with friends. They had been drinking a little, hanging out at the beach under the bright moon. He’s not drunk by any means, but he can’t tell if his lack of reaction at seeing the name of the caller ID is from the alcohol, or from the desensitization that has stemmed from days of being locked out of Jimin’s world.

He frowns slightly and answers the phone as he steps away from his friends lounging in the sand.

“Jeon!” One of them calls as he walks further. “Where are you goin’?”

He snickers and waves him off, pointing at his phone.

“Bad timing?” the voice asks in his ear. Jungkook’s heart doesn’t kick as hard as it used to.

“Mm,” he answers noncommittally, “Just out. What’s up?”

“…just seeing how you’re doing, I guess...”

Jungkook snorts. Now he wants to know? “I’m good. You?”

“Same.”

“Cool,” Jungkook bites the skin of his lips. He starts digging a hole in the sand with his bare foot. “Did you uh, did you need something?”

“I just…” Jimin pauses from the other end, hesitating to find the words. “I think it’s a bad time for you. Maybe I can call you back when you’re, ya know. Alone.”

It’s then that Jungkook realizes what this is. His foot stops digging. His head gets a little clearer.

“Oh,” he crouches down. Unfamiliar panic slams into his chest, catching him off guard. He sighs deeply, willing the rush of blood in his system to slow down.

“Yeah. Listen, I can call you back later-“

“No!” Jungkook interrupts. Some pathetic part of him can’t bear to have Jimin hang up yet. “No. Just, just say what you have to say.”

“Jungkook…” Jimin says unsure. “I really think I should call you back. You busy tomorrow?”

“Yes,” he huffs out.

“Oh. The next day?”

“I’m busy a lot lately,” Jungkook mutters. He’s being childish, he knows, but he’s suddenly pissed off and desperate. He hasn’t felt this vulnerable in a long time.

“Well, when can you make time in your schedule for me, Kook?” Jimin bites out, sounding annoyed.

“Just say what you have to say now,” Jungkook bites back. He doesn’t want to prolong it anymore. “What’s holding you back, huh?”

There is silence on the other end.

“I don’t have all night.”

“Why are you being so mean?” Jimin complains. “I didn’t call to fight.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Jimin!” Jungkook all but growls. “Just break up with me!”

Jimin gasps, almost sounding horrified. Jungkook’s throat feels like it wants to close up.

“Just do it. We both know that’s why you called. Isn’t it?”

“You’re being unfair,” Jimin suddenly sounds small.

“Just fucking do it. Leave me already,” Jungkook huffs, angry and hurt. He refuses to feel sad. He’s out with his friends. He won’t let Jimin ruin yet another night. Won’t spend another night crying over this boy. “What are you waiting for?”

“…fine.” Jimin exhales out shakily. “I didn’t want to do it like this, Jungkook.”

“I’m sure you didn’t,” he snaps. “You haven’t been doing much of anything for us lately, have you. So much for always loving me, right? For saying you’d never forget me.”

“I never forgot you. It’s just. It’s not our time right now, Jungkook.”

“Save it.”

“So, this is how you’re gonna be? You’re just going to be angry with me? What am I supposed to do?” Jimin cries out. He sounds distraught but Jungkook doesn’t have the will to comfort him.

“Nothing Jimin, absolutely nothing,” he fists his hand into his shirt, over where his stomach clenches uneasily. “Are we done now? Can I go?”

“You know I love you.”

“Oh, shut up,” Jungkook begs. “Just stop. You don’t get to say that to me.”

“And why is that?” Jimin asks haughtily.

“Because you don’t deserve to! Because you’ve been ignoring me for days, for weeks and now you have the nerve to tell me you love me? And you expect me to believe you?”

“You’re being so cruel,” Jimin mutters.

“I’m cruel? Me? I’m not the one giving up,” he whispers, but his voice carries a hard edge. “You’ve given up. You physically sicken me. I can’t even stand to hear your voice right now because of how bad you’ve been to me. All I wanted to do was love you.”

The other end goes silent. He listens to Jimin breathe. He imagines what it would feel like if they had to do this face to face. Would it have been easier?

Would this still have happened if Jimin went to a school here?

He guesses that he’ll never know.

“Jeon!” Jungkook hears his friend call out to him again. He turns to see his friends gathering their blankets and bags. “Let’s head out!”

“So, this is it then,” he hears Jimin say. Jungkook feels sick from how resigned his voice sounds. He says nothing more and Jungkook seethes. It’s the anger, the only thing keeping him from collapsing into heartbreak.

“Yeah, I guess so,” Jungkook says. He stands up and dusts the sand from his jeans. He picks up the pieces of himself and clutches onto them tightly. He must let go now. He can’t look back or double guess himself either. He must be sure before he can end this. Does he have the will?

He looks down at his bare feet in the sand and watches his toes wiggle. He pats down his solid thighs, marvels at his solid being and feels his heart pound. He forces himself to feel a little bit stronger, resolve as real as the blood rushing through his veins.

He sighs.

“Take care of yourself,” Jungkook pleads and hangs up before Jimin can say anything else.