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Impure Thoughts and Sordid Words

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Emma knew this was a bad idea, she was modest enough to admit she was a smart woman. And smart women do not agree to become roommates with hot men, especially with one whom she has secretly been in love with for the last 10 years. Yet, here she decided to live with her best friend, Killian Jones.

This isn’t a mistake at all.

Emma knew though it was his only option, with Liam and Elsa moving in together, Robin and Regina seemed to be somewhat serious and did not need a third wheel hanging around, and it’d be a cold day in hell before Killian would ever move in with Will, a nitrous slob. It only crushed Emma a bit when Killian seemed less than enthused when Elsa brought up the idea, he kept shooting Elsa rather glaring daggers.

They were at their quasi-family weekly dinner when David brought up Killian’s living situation, Mary Margaret kicked him immediately. Emma was a smart woman, she knew something was going on between the lot of them. Throughout the rest of the dinner, Killian kept avoiding eye contact with Emma, but rather horribly because every time Emma looked over at Killian he was staring right back at her.

At the end of the night, Killian offered to drive Emma home, although it was out of his way to his apartment Emma lived near the docks which just so happened to be Killian’s favorite spot to clear his head.

As Killian drove, they sat in silence, and for the first time in their friendship, it was an uncomfortable silence.

“So, do you?”

“Do I what, Swan?” Killian never took his eyes off the road and kept his tight grip on the steering wheel.

“Would you want to move in with me? I mean I know it’s not ideal, you don’t seem to want it much, but, uh, I think-”

“Is that what you think, love? That I don’t want to move in with you?”

“Well, I mean you didn’t seem over the moon when Els mentioned it tonight at dinner.” They had finally pulled into Emma’s complex, Killian still yet to face her. Emma was never one for feelings or talking, this is more of Killian’s domain, but Emma’s a smart woman, so she knows there is more to this than he is letting on.

“Aye, wasn’t so thrilled with her interjection, especially when I had plans to ask you myself in private.”

“You were?”
“Of course love, I spend most my days at your place anyways. Plus, someone needs to make sure you’re actually eating, and no, Pop Tarts do not count.” Emma let out a small huff, it was nice to see him starting to relax again. “It’s just - never mind, Emma would you be the most gracious host and allow this devilishly handsome man to live with you in your oh so humble abode?” Of course, he had to fucking wink at the end of it and give that smolder that made Emma melt.

“Well, I mean, I guess I won’t make you sleep on the benches down at the docks.”

Killian moved in closer and placed a gentle kiss on Emma’s cheek, “Thank you, Swan, I promise you won’t regret this!”

Emma thought she was a smart woman, now she’s not so sure.


Killian is officially moved in and is slowly driving Emma mad with want. She thought she could handle it, but it turns out she very much cannot. She felt that after years of friendship she could keep her libido in check for a few hours a day around him.

However, turns out seeing your friend wet and only covered in a towel does not do well for the whole not wanting to jump him thing.

She tries to remind herself that their friendship is important, but god damn if he doesn’t look like sin when he rolls out of bed, hair all disheveled, chest hair proudly on display. The worst (or best depending on how you look at it) is sometimes when Killian thinks Emma has left for the day, he walks around in his boxers and Emma gets a peek of his morning wood. Killian is a walking innuendo machine, and now she is starting to see that his talk might not be just all talk.

They peacefully coexist for about two months, but Emma’s not sure how much longer she can survive this. Emma was used to the teasing, the lingering touches that last a second too long, but sometimes the kitchen was too small, and Emma could feel Killian brush by her.

She swore all of this was in her head, but she should have known better.. Right?

Emma needed to release some tension and fast. She felt guilty imagining Killian, but she couldn’t help it.

The way he’d lick his lips after his morning coffee remained there and the way he held eye contact for a moment too long. The way he’d come back after a run, sweat dripping down him, Emma longing to make him sweat from another more enjoyable activity.

Emma’s fingers roamed down her body, imaging it was Killian’s hands instead. She felt Killian kneading her breasts, her peaks becoming harder with each touch. Her breath turned into a pant already.

She continued her exploration, finding her sex already wet with anticipation. As Emma continued, Killian was there teasing her folds, giving that stupid smirk she loved so much. Emma, no Killian, inserted a finger and another the time for teasing was over.

She continued her ministrations imagining him, his touch his tease a kiss or two. Imagining him finally being inside her after all this time. This ultimately set her over the edge.

As Emma came down from her high, she suddenly became ashamed using Killian for her fantasies. She decided she would find her inspiration elsewhere.


As the months continued, Emma tried a variety of outlets, all of which never seemed to help reach the high she once felt after imagining Killian. It didn’t help that he was the man of her literal dreams, but she swore she’d never use him like that again.

Emma loved Killian, he deserved to be more than just a body, he was the best man she knew. However, he was driving her mad with want and her libido needed to be put in check.

After a late night with Ruby and Belle, Emma let it slip about some of her frustrations.

“Emma, here’s a wild idea for you. Why don’t you just tell him you love him and that you wanna fuck his brains out?”

“Ruby! We’ve been over this before, I don’t want to lose him. Besides, I really don’t think he feels the same.” Belle and Ruby traded looks. Emma was happy to see her friends so in love, but it was weird how in sync they were. It was almost like her and Kil - nope, not going down that rabbit hole.

Belle decided to show mercy and give Emma a break from her girlfriend’s rather blunt idea, “Emma? Perhaps I have a solution for you. Have you ever read something erotic?”

“You mean like Fifty Shades of Grey? Listen, it’s hot, but the guy they cast in that movie just felt too familiar for me to really get into it, and I’m not really into all that BDSM.”

Ruby and Belle let out a little chuckle, which only furthered Emma’s frustration on the whole situation. “No, Emma not like that ghastly book. I mean like real erotic novels, like A Sport and Pastime, Written on the Body, or honestly pick a fandom and read some smutty tales. Those are always fun too.

I’m serious Emma, this could help you. Those books are rather rich in detail, perhaps this is just the thing you need!” Belle shot off the couch, Emma glanced over at Ruby who seemed to be utterly impressed with her girlfriend.

“This is the first book in a series, here are some that just stand alone at the moment.” Belle continued to grab some more books off the shelf for Emma.

“Oh, oh okay sweetie, I think Emma’s got plenty to keep her hands full. Well, hand I guess.”

“I hate you, I hope you know that.”

“No, you don’t, Emma Swan. In fact, you very much love me. Now, begone, and don’t have too much fun.”

She quickly left after that--well after Belle gave her some books to go. As Emma left their apartment, she swore she heard Ruby say, “Or just fucking tell him already!”


Emma is a smart woman, she should’ve thought of this idea months ago!

Emma found herself caught up in tale after tale. She always loved reading, in the foster homes it was one of the few things those bastards couldn’t take away from her. This, though, this was a new world. Emma was inspired to say the least.

However, there was still one massive problem: Killian was still and seemed to forever be the star of her fantasies. The stories did help pass the time, helped hold the temptation back even for a little bit. Emma continued reading every book Belle was willing to share.

One rare day off, Emma decided to have a “treat yo self” day. She lounged in the bathtub drinking wine, pleasuring herself from inspiration in her latest book wishing Killian was there watching and helping her.

As the day continued on Emma lost track of time, finishing up the last book in The Black Dagger Brotherhood series she was engrossed in the last few pages when she heard the door opening.


Emma froze because Emma Swan is not a smart woman.

“Hey, love. How’s your day off been? I thought we could-” Killian cut himself off, finding a frozen, thoroughly flushed, Emma Swan on the couch. He saw something in her hands, right before she tried to quickly barry it under the pillows.

Killian sprinted to the other side of the room, “Oh no, no, no! Let's see what you’re hiding there.”

“Killian, Killian please-” Emma couldn’t finish her plead before Killian was tickling her, trying to reach for the book she tried so desperately to hide from him. Finally, after some treacherous tickling, Emma moved off the pillow just enough and Killian was able to snag the book!
“Alright, let's see what we have here.” Killian snatched the book further out of her reach, as he read the passage to herself Emma tried to get up and run. He grabbed her by the wrist, stopping her instantly.

“Emma, love why are you hiding away from me? Especially over this?” She was still frozen, she looked down at his grasp, how his fingers had made their way down to hers. Killian followed her gaze to their intertwined hands, all the while noticing how her blush only seemed to increase.

“Oh, Swan. Were you trying to get off from these? Wishing you were the one they were ravishing? Imagining this man indulging in every fantasy you could imagine? Hmm? Come on now love, answer me.”


Killian let out a laugh, clutching his gut. “Oh Swan, come on. I know you better than you know yourself, you are an open book. I know when you’re lying, just tell me the truth.”

When Emma looked up at him, she didn’t realize how close he was to her, just an inch forward and their lips would touch. His scent intoxicated her, she was drunk off him already, and he barely touched her.

“I don’t... not them,” Emma’s voice barely above a whisper, she never tore her eyes off his. Killian moved from off the couch, he now stood a head taller than her, his hands holding her waist now.

“Who?” Emma looked up at him once more. “Who do you imagine, Emma?”

She saw it, the hope in his eyes.

10 years on the line. 10 years of birthdays, ugly breakups, new jobs. 10 years of friendship. 10 years of love.


That was all Killian needed as he pulled Emma to him and kissed the holy hell out of her. His tongue begging for entrance, of which Emma was more than happy to give. She gave as good as she got, kissing him like a desperate woman.

His hands moved quickly, Killian played with the hem of her shirt, teasing the exposed skin. His warm, calloused hands felt incredible on her, but she needed more. Emma began to lift his shirt up, Killian got the memo and finished it for her, both separating for a much-needed breath. Killian raised his eyebrows before he could get another word out Emma cut him off with another kiss.

Her hands raking through his dark, thick chest hair. Her mind wandering back to all those times she dreamt of this, and now he was finally here. As she explored, Killian decided to explore a bit his own, moving down her neck, leaving little marks as he worked his way down. Emma let out a soft moan, and Killian almost lost it right then.

Emma rocked against his hardened member, she wasn’t sure how in the hell it was going to fit in her, but she had a feeling they would find a way. Killian’s hands moved down so that now he was holding her ass, he promptly lifted her up, and Emma unconsciously wrapped her legs around his waist. Killian carried Emma to his bedroom and gently placed her down in the middle of his bed.

Emma tried to pick off from where they left off when Killian pulled away. Emma immediately felt a loss and panic. What if he wanted to stop?

“Emma, are you sure? We can stop right now, and it would be okay, I promise.” She saw it again, the hope in his eyes, she also saw how honest he was being. He would stop, and she knew they could just move on from this.

But that’s not what she wanted. She wanted him, all of him.

“I seem to remember someone saying something about being ravished,” Killian let out a small huff of a laugh, “but Killian, what I want is you. I love you, I’ve-”

Killian cut her off with a searing kiss, one that made her head spin. This kiss was different than before, the others with full of lust, this was something else. Love.

“Emma, my love, I love you too. I love you so bloody much, I need you now.” Emma didn’t trust her voice, so she merely nodded her head. Both discarded the rest of their clothing, each taking in the view of the one they loved for what felt like the first time.

“Beautiful, so beautiful. The word does not do you justice, but alas, my love, that is all I have.”

“Killian? Will you make love to me?”

With that Killian dove back into Emma-- his Emma. He kneaded her left breast as he kissed and sucked on her right. He switched between the two, leaving more marks on her as if he was claiming. Emma had no issues with that, she was his, and he was hers now.

Killian worked his way down her body, kissing every freckle along the way, cataloging every noise she made. He kissed her thighs, his stubble burning her, teasing her. Emma couldn’t speak, only moans slipping out of her mouths trying to articulate what she really needed. Killian seemed to understand, and he spread her legs apart.

He teased her folds, giving a short lick. “My Gods, Emma! You’re soaking, my love. Is this all for me?” Emma nodded, however, this wasn’t enough for Killian. “Don’t hold back, love. Let me hear you say it.”

Panting Emma finally was able to get some sort of grasp on her breath, “Yes, Killian all for you. I’ve imagined your head between my thighs every night. Please, Killian, make me come.”

Killian continued to taste her sweet nectar, losing himself in the moment. Every lick felt better than the last, Emma wasn’t sure how much longer she could hold on for. When Killian put in not one but two fingers, she screamed his name. He was stretching her out, making sure she was ready for what was to come.

He went between tasting and rubbing her clit. Faster and faster, Emma could feel her climax growing inside of her. Killian could barely contain himself any longer, watching the woman he loved on the edge was glorious, he needed to make her come now. He removed his mouth from her sex, “Come for me Emma, let go my love.”

It was almost as if those were the magic words she had been waiting for. With that command she came, becoming weightless and losing herself for a moment. As she came down from her high she saw him, his beard wet from her.

She pulled him down for another kiss, tasting herself for the first time. Emma was enjoying the kiss when she felt his hardened member teasing her entrance. He pulled away for a moment, reaching for one of the drawers in his nightstand when Emma stopped him.

“We don’t need that,” Killian froze in place, “I have the implant in my arm so I can’t get pregnant and I trust you. I know your history, you know mine.”

“Are you sure, my love?” Killian’s eyes bore into hers, this woman would never stop surprising him.

“I want to feel you Killian, all of you.”

With that, Killian moved so he was back on top of Emma and slowly entered her. She knew he was allowing her time to get used to his size, but she needed more. Killian read her like he always did and started to pick up his pace.

Killian continued to go faster as he kissed her neck, grunting as he continued to move in and out of her. Emma angled her hips so he could hit deeper inside of her. She had never felt so full in her life, almost as if he was made for her.

Emma needed more, she needed him to move faster. She nibbled on his ear, begging him to fuck her harder. The sound of slapping skin, grunts, and pleads filled the room. Neither one of them could form a coherent thought.

Emma once again felt herself close to finishing, but she needed Killian to come with her. “Come for me, Killian, let go for me, my love.” Emma came on his next thrust, Killian right behind her. Both screamed the other’s name as they finally found their release.

Killian fell on top of Emma, laying on top of her as he tried to gather himself. After a few moments, he rolled off of her, immediately missing his warmth Emma rolled over, so she was cuddled into his side.

Killian was the first to speak, “That was-”

“Yeah, it sure was. Why did we wait so long?” Killian looked over at her smiling, his whole face screamed: “I just got laid!” Emma couldn’t help but laugh at how happy they both were in this moment, finally letting the other in.

“Just so you know, I’ve dreamt of this moment for a long time, Emma. I promise I’m not going anywhere. I love you.”

She leaned over and pressed a kiss onto his cheek. “Good.”

Perhaps she was right, Emma Swan is a smart woman.