Cory was fucked. He never should have done it, but yknow, too late now. Officer Zendaya Coleman Ismeechee and her Oompa Loompa partner, Officer Worm were in pursuit. They’d been chasing him for blocks and he didn't think he could outrun them much longer. His feet felt close to falling off and he was already exhausted from the huge nut he busted on that pool of children and their tears. Desperate to avoid arrest he ducks into an ominous back alleyway, the stench of decay so strong it knocks him off guard. He trips and comes face to face with a filthy, ill-looking Oompa Loompa huddled on the ground, dressed in a leather feline getup. It squeals at him, hurting his ears, causing Cory to scramble back into the Officers pursuing him. “Freeze! You’re under arrest!”
Cory started to dissociate as they read him his rights, staring at the Oompa cat, Cory thanked God That's So Raven gave him enough money to stay out of poverty.
Officer Ismeechee had been to a lot of court hearings but this one took the cake. She couldn’t believe someone could do something as disgusting as what Cory Inthehouse did, her face contorting into a look horror and disgust as she reviewed his case files on her Blackberry once more.
She was interrupted as her partner came towards her, ”It's starting.” He said grimly, mouth set in a hard line as he walked towards the courtroom. They settled into their seats and a moment later the judge entered. ”All rise for the honorable Judge Juicy.” Judge juicy was an average Oompa Loompa, with an old-timey judge wig that was haphazardly placed on his head. He wore a green sequin bowtie and short shorts with the word ”juicy” bedazzled across the ass. He was shirtless and kind of chubby, yet somehow he still commanded respect, They stood up and turned their heads to watch Cory Inthehouse enter the courtroom. They led him to the stand, Cory’s eyes lingered on them for a moment before he looked away. Cory's lawyer walked a few steps behind him. Mr. Dampnut was a taller than average Oompa Loompa, he was unnaturally orange, even by Oompa Loompa standards, and had the smallest hands the officers had ever seen. They looked like they belonged to a premature baby.
He cut a glance at them and grinned smugly, God what a dick.
”You're here before us today on account of public indecency, sexual misconduct with a minor, possession of drugs, ” Judge Juicy sneered with thinly veiled racism, ”resisting arrest and assaulting an officer of the law.” he finished crisply. ”What say you in your defense?” He asked. Cory looked at his lawyer, they seemed to be having a heated discussion just through facial expressions alone. Cory’s face took on a look of deep concentration before he slowly leaned into the microphone and said, all without moving his eyes off his lawyers face, “Yeah, we did all that.”
The jury let out a collective gasp of shock at his easy admission. Judge Juicy banged his gavel while demanding, “Order! Order in the court!” Mr. Dampnut’s eye twitched minutely before he came to his senses and barked “Objection!” He then went to adjust his bad toupee with his tiny, baby hands. “My client, he’s a great guy. Just a fantastic man. But he’s got a brain tumor so you can’t listen to a word he says,” he rambled “Anything he says is like, Fake News.” The lawyer said as his face grew more orange and his voice grew louder “And who hasn’t ‘allegedly’,” he added with quotation marks, “jerked off into a pool of children and their tears, okay. I mean it's a normal thing to do, okay. Not that me or my client did that, whoever told you we did is a liar. Fake. News.” He finished while nodding his head like he thought he did a great job of convincing the Judge.
Judge Juicy shoots a glare in his direction, ”We have video surveillance of you and your client ejaculating into a public pool full of children, ” Juicy drawls, "we have a witness if you could bring him to the stand please.”
The door to the courtroom opens and there's another collective gasp of shock as the witness walks in. There in the doorway, shrouded in warm sunlight, It's him, the original Wildcat, Zac Efron. He walks up to the stand to be sworn in. An officer walks up to him holding the Bible. Zefron takes his beautiful, manly hand and places it gently upon the worn book. The officer makes eye contact with Zefron and suddenly seems flustered as he starts to recite the oath. ”Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?” He asks softly. “Yes, of course.” Zefron replies breathily.
Zefron approaches the stand, ”Now Mr. Efron, can you tell me what you saw on the afternoon of the eleventh." asks Judge Juicy. ”Please call me Zac, and I'd be happy to tell you." he looks at Cory with a very disturbed look, ”I saw those men, ” he says pointing at Cory and his lawyer ”jerking off onto innocent children in the light of day. With no shame or remorse." His voice cracks on the last word, and his eyes are shining with unshed tears. ”I don't understand how they could do such a thing, ” he states with passion, ”And its been keeping me awake the past couple of days, I just don't understand Cory. How could you do this?” He asks, staring at Cory intensely. ”Yeah I got a brain tumor so, yolo y'know?” Cory replied nervously.
Zefron was staring at Cory incredulously, ”I thought I knew you, ” he states numbly while shaking his head ” I thought we were friends!” he yelled at Cory tearfully. ”I thought we were all in this together...” he pauses to compose himself before continuing, ”but your heads not in the game, I don't think it ever was.” he finishes, wiping his tears away.
A stunned silence washes over the courtroom. The spell is broken as someone in the jury shouts ”LOCK. HIM. UP.” The rest of the jury shares nods and murmurs in agreement.
Judge Juicy nods his head, ”Yes, yes I think I've heard enough. Thank you Mr. E-” he breaks off as Zefron looks up at him sadly. He looks like a kicked puppy, it's unprofessional but... How could he not give in? Just this once. ”Zac.” Judge Juicy says softly. Zefron looks up at him and smiles shyly. Juicy berates himself for his lapse in professionalism, he has a weakness for this kind, handsome man. Damn him and he soft looking hair and kind eyes warm smile...
Zac moves off the stand and regards Cory one last time before shaking his head and turning to sit in the stands. Judge Juicy looks back at Cory disdainfully, ” I hereby sentence Cory Inthehouse t-” Judge Juicy is interrupted by a shrill ”Objection! Your honor, firstly id like to say you keep calling me Mr. Dampnut, please call me by my first name Lorde, Mr. Dampnut is my father. Secondly, id like to appeal for a reduced sentence for my client, ” Juicy looks at him incredulously, he goes to speak but Dampnut continues before he can get the chance, ”His brain tumor has made him act out of character and he's an idiot.” He remarks coolly.
”Overruled Mr. Dampnut.” Judge Juicy gritted out in irritation, ”Your client has shown no shame or remorse for his actions.” He said, Taking a moment to look at him in consideration, ”and neither have you for that matter, considering you were his accomplice.” Mr. Dampnut pales and his eyes widen. ”I hereby sentence you both to four hundred twenty thousand, sixty-nine years in Alcatraz prison with no chance of parole.” he says as the cops come to cuff Mr. Dampnut and take Cory. ”This court is now adjourned.” Judge Juicy states as his bangs his gavel down.
”No! You can't do this!” Mr. Dampnut shouts as the police drag him and Cory away, Cory says nothing as he looks upon his lawyer with a detached sense of resignation. ”You can't do this to me! I have a small loan of a million dollars waiting at home!” he screams as he thrashes again his captors. ”And a wife and kids!” He adds as an afterthought. ”Please, I'm innocent, I've never done anything wrong, ever in my whole life!” he exclaims tearfully.
The sound of his obnoxious sniffles and sobs echo into the hall as they escort him and Cory out of the courtroom.
Everyone began filing out if the courtroom slowly, talking exuberantly about the case. Judge Juicy jogs to catch up to Zefron. An amazing feat considering the twelve-inch stilettos he was wearing. ”Hey! I was wondering if maybe... You wanted to go out for lunch?” Juicy asked nervously. Zefron beams down at him, ”id love that.” he responds grabbing Juicy’s smaller hand. They walked out of the courtroom together and all was well.