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Light at the End of the Tunnel

Chapter Text

Joons_Future has created a group chat

 

Joons_Future has added LilMochiHobiJins_Future, and 2 others to the group chat

 

Joons_Future has renamed the chat Warm Welcomes

 

Yoongi:

wtf hyung

 

Maknae:

Y did you make another gc hyung??

we already got a gc

 

Jins_Future:

“Have” not “got”

But yeah, why?

 

LilMochi:

im sure hyung has his reasons 

wat r those reasons?

 

Joons_Future:

Ty Jiminie for the small vote of confidence

Bc I do have a reason 4 this chat 

A very good reason in fact

 

Hobi:

???

 

Joons_Future:

Drumroll pls

 

Maknae:

.....drumroll

 

Joons_Future:

tyvm kookie

.

.

.

I MET A BOY!!!!

 

Yoongi:

Congratulations

 

Jins_Future:

Congratulations??? 

Jin hyung, you’re dating me?

 

Hobi:

*gasp* ur dumping joonie?!?!

 

LilMochi:

WHAT

 

Maknae:

WHAT

 

Joons_Future:

no u fking morons

there’s this new kid in the performance arts department 

n if u idiots remember I told u there werent enough kids 4 the mentoring program us seniors have to do so I had to share some kid with that bitch lee chanhee

not anymore

 

Maknae:

O...k?

 

Yoongi:

wht does that have to do w the new gc?

 

Joons_Future:

If u brats would let me finish

I got the new kid and hes really cute n really innocent and kinda weird

he told me I was the first person to talk to him since he got her

here*

sooo I figured wth ill make a gc with him and us so we can b his friends

!!!!

 

Jins_Future:

Oh ok

But you could’ve just added him to the old gc

 

Joons_Future:

...stfu namjoon 

 

Maknae:

BURRRNNNN lmfao

 

LilMochi:

I bet Namjoon hyung is pouting rn 

 

Joons_Future:

ANYWAYS i want u guys to be on ur best behavior

he seems rlly sweet n i dont want u guys to make him upset 

My final grade n ur life depends on it

 

Yoongi:

wtvr

 

Joons_Future:

k

 

Joons_Future has added KimTaehyung to the chat

 

Joons_Future has changed KimTaehyung’s name to MyMentee

 

Joons_Future:

hey Taehyung

dis is Kim Seokjin 

yiur mentor

your*

 

MyMentee:

hi hyung!!!!!!

what is this tho? theres other ppl in this chat

 

Joons_Future:

yes there is

these r sum of my closest friends n well

i figured since me n u will b spending sm time togthr u should know my friends

 

MyMentee:

oh gr8

HI IM KIM TAEHYUNG I LIKE PUPPIES

ლ ( ◕  ᗜ  ◕ ) ლ

 

Hobi:

...cute

 

Joons_Future:

ok i think everyone should introduce themselves to taehyung so he knows who everyone is

ill go first

im kim seokjin but i go by jin, born in 1993 

im a senior and im majoring in theater and minoring in business

oh n im the best thing to happen to namjoon since 1994

 

Hobi:

Wow

im jung hoseok born in 1994 like namjoon but older than namjoon

 

Jins_Future:

is that necessary?

 

Joons_Future:

Joon hush

hobi wasnt finished

 

Hobi:

ty hyung

im majoring in dance and minoring in music

u can call me jhope hobi or hoseok hyung idrc

 

MyMentee:

Hi Hobi hyung !!! (^▽^)

 

Hobi:

cute

 

Maknae:

u said that already

my name is jeon jungkook and i am a 97 bby

im double majoring in dance and music and im minoring in studio art

cuz i love art

whos nxt?

 

LilMochi:

uhh hi

im jimin

im born in 95 

i major in dance and i minor in music and biology

 

MyMentee:

im born in 95 too

i was born in december 

 

Hobi:

that makes jimin ur hyung

 

MyMentee:

!!!

 

Jins_Future:

ok my name is Kim Namjoon

i was born in september 1994

i am currently majoring in music and english and psychology 

my minors are business and history

 

MyMentee:

u must b rlly smart hyung

 

Jins_Future:

thanks kid

 

Joons_Future:

u forgot something Kim Namjoon

 

Jins_Future:

???

oh

and jins the best thing to happen to me since my birth

 

Joons_Future:

good job

yoongi its ur turn

yoongi

yoongi

 

Yoongi:

what.

 

Joons_Future:

introduce yourself

 

Yoongi:

fine

im yoongi n idrc about any of this

 

Joons_Future:

YOONGI

 

Hobi:

hyung

 

Yoongi:

what. i dont kno this kid i wont kno this kid bc i dont want to know him

i have enough friends without jin adding some stranger bc he wants a good grade

 

Maknae:

i usually dont do dis but

*gasp*

hyung thts not nice n he can read these

and jin hyung will kill u

 

MyMentee:

its ok

hi yoongi!!! nice to meet you

hope we can be friends 

(*˘︶˘*).。.:*♡

 

Maknae:

...ok wtf

 

Jins_Future:

cute

 

 


 

 

 

[The Oldies]

 

Joons_Future:

ok wtf was tht

y did u send that yoongi

yoongi 

Min Yoongi istg

 

Yoongi:

y did u add him?

u kno i hate ppl and i dont want some stranger in our gc who i dont even know

all for the sake of ur grade

 

Joons_Future:

i told u i liked the kid

hes cute n innocent sumthing thts hard to find in this world n he said he had no friends

its not just about my grade

 

Yoongi:

exactly hard to find in this world

hes probably faking so he can wiggle in and do some weird shit

 

Joons_Future:

like???

wht could he possibly gain from that??

 

Yoongi:

idk idec point is i dont like him

 

Joons_Future:

u dont kno him so u cnt not like him

n like u said i need him to fucking graduate

if u say something like that again

there will b consequences 

 

Yoongi:

what consequences

 

Joons_Future:

idk

locking u out ur studio before ur finals?

erasing ur hard drive?

 

Yoongi:

hyung wtf

that would stop me from graduating

 

Joons_Future:

then ud kno how it feels

so dnt mess w taehyung

and i wnt mess w u

got it?

 

Yoongi:

got it

Chapter Text

[Warm Welcomes]

 

MyMentee:

gm jinhyung (´▽`ʃƪ)♡

gm namjoon ssi (´▽`ʃƪ)♡

gm hobi hyung (´▽`ʃƪ)♡

gm jimin hyung (´▽`ʃƪ)♡

gm maknae (´▽`ʃƪ)♡

gm yoongi ssi (´▽`ʃƪ)♡

its gonna be a gr8 day guys

!!!

 

Joons_Future:

which one of u idiots is spamming this chat 

@ fucking 12 in the morn

oh

gm taehyung

y r u up at midnight

 

MyMentee:

were u asleep?

໒( •́ ‸ •̀ )७

sorry hyung

ill leave u alone

 

Jins_Future:

good job hyung

no taehyung

i was up too 

and gm to you too

 

Joons_Future:

n why r u up this early

Kim Namjoon

u have class tomorrow

today*

 

Jins_Future:

yoongi and I were up

finishing a song

we just finished

yoongi say hello

 

Yoongi:

no

 

Joons_Future:

yoongi...

 

Yoongi:

hello. 

 

Jins_Future:

hey taehyung

why did you call me namjoon ssi

 

MyMentee:

oh well (╯︵╰,)

u didnt say u wanted me to call u hyung when you introduced urself

and i didnt want to just assume

sorry if i hurt ur feelings 

i didnt mean to

 

Joons_Future:

good job namjoon

his feelings neither matter nor r hurt

 

Jins_Future:

W O W

but srsly taehyung

im ok but i would prefer if u called me hyung

we are friends now ok

 

MyMentee:

(。⌒∇⌒)。

rlly?

can i call you joonie hyung

its ok if u say no

sorry if i put u on the spot

 

Jins_Future:

lol dw i dont mind

if i could call you a nickname too

 

MyMentee:

(ꉺᗜꉺ)

u can call me taehyungie, tae, taetae

taetor tot, taesty pastry, taeble, taeme beast

or wtvr u prefer 

 

Joons_Future:

puns...

a man after my own heart

 

Jins_Future:

i think ill stick with the first 3 thnx

 

MyMentee:

ok hyung

n yoongi ssi?

u can call me wtvr too k?

 

Yoongi:

how bout ‘mistaek’?

 

Joons_Future:

yoongi

i will end u

 

MyMentee:

if u want to yoongi ssi

 

Jins_Future:

???

 

MyMentee:

can i call u a nickname too?

 

Yoongi:

ahjussi

 

Joons_Future:

namjoon

i want the code to yoongis studio

ok? thnx

 

MyMentee:

ok ahjussi

have a nice day today guys

it’s a TUESDAY

TUESDAY IS THE BEST DAY

bc its TAESday (~ ̄▽ ̄)~

 

Yoongi:

i h8 tuesdays

 

Joons_Future:

i think its best everyone goes to sleep

b4 i hav to kill someone

gn/gm taetae, joonie, and min yoongi

 

Yoongi:

what did i do. 

 

Jins_Future:

gn/gm jinnie tae and yoongi

 

MyMentee:

oh

ok

gn/gm jinniehyung joonie hyung

n ahjussi ♡♡♡

 

Yoongi:

bye

 


 

 

 

Maknae:

gm all 

oh wat is dis?

u were all up this morning n didnt invite me?!

and gm taetae hyung

 

MyMentee:

sorry Jungkook ssi

 

Maknae:

its ok lol

and just jungkook is fine tbh

 

MyMentee:

ok! and taetae is fine too

u dnt have to call me hyung 

can i call you kookie

 

Maknae:

sure

 

Maknae has changed their name to Kookie

 

MyMentee:

cool

can u change my name?

sorry jin hyung

 

Kookie:

lol dw about that old fart

change it to what?

 

MyMentee:

well

idk

HOW ABOUT TAESDAY

bc its tuesday !!!

 

Kookie:

hmmm 

dnt sympathize w dis like of tuesdays

but ok

 

Kookie has changed MyMentee’s name to Taesday

 

Taesday:

(((o(*゚▽゚*)o))) 

i luv it

ty kookie

 

Kookie:

*tips hat and bows slightly*

all in a days work

 

LilMochi:

youve only been on the gc for five min

 

Taesday:

jimin hyung !!!

happy tuesday

 

Kookie:

like i said

all in a days work

happy tuesday jimin

 

LilMochi:

gm taehyung 

nice to see you again

its hyung to u jeon jungkook

and im not that older than u taehyung

just call me jimin

and happy tuesday

 

Kookie:

wow rude

fat head hyung 

 

Hobi:

GOOD MORNING ALL

oh

someone stole my thunder

and whats dis tues love for?

and why is there like fifteen thousand txts on this chat?

 

Kookie:

scroll up an read it

and it was only like fifty texts hyung

 

Hobi:

oh wow

one, happy tuesday taehyungie

 

Taesday:

O(≧∇≦)O

 

Hobi:

two, pretty sure jin hyung will kill yoongi by next monday

three, jimin u havent seen taehyung wht r u even saying?

aaannd four, I WANT A DAY

 

LilMochi:

screw u hyung

n u cnt have a day

 

Hobi:

y not?

i want a day

taetae, pick a day 4 me

 

Taesday:

*gasp*

ill give everyone a day

hmm

 

Joons_Future:

gm younger than me ones

wats going on?

 

Kookie:

taetae is giving everyone a day

ud kno this if u read thru the texts

 

Joons_Future:

ok wait

.

.

.

one, i like ur new name taehyung and happy tues

two, jeon jungkook i will murder u

three, wat day will i get

 

Taesday:

hmm

i think monday should be Jung Hoseok Day

 

Hobi:

aw man

why mondays

i hate mondays

 

Taesday:

well

mondays signify the end of the weekend

and the start of the more important things

and u r very important hobi hyung

n mondays are the days u need the most energy

and u seem v energetic and fun

u would be a great reason to wake up every monday

 

Hobi:

...

ive been convinced

bow b4 me u mortals

i am monday

 

Kookie:

which passed already

so ha

 

Hobi:

damn it

we’ll be revisiting this in six more days

whos nxt

 

Taesday:

i think joonie hyung would make a great Wednesday

wednesdays are in the mid of the week

so u dnt feel too sad about the weekend being gone and u dnt worry about the weekend coming up

and its a good day for reflection 

ya kno think about ur life and where its heading

joonie hyung seems like da reflective type

 

Hobi:

Truths have been stated

Wednesday is Joonie day

u hear that namjoon?

@Jins_Future

@Jins_Future

@Jins_Future

where the hell is he?

 

Joons_Future:

he has an early class on tuesdays 

duh

 

LilMochi:

Taesday* hyung

u spelt it wrong

 

Kookie:

lol

whos thursday

 

Taesday:

Jin Hyung !!

he makes such a perfect thursday dat he puts all other days to shame 

 

Joons_Future:

im finally being acknowledged 

but y am i thursday?

wats so gr8 about thursday

 

Taesday:

well as u kno hyung

like kookie i love art

and i think thursdays always have the best sunsets to draw

and ur 2x prettier than the best sunset

n its right beside wednesday/joonie hyung so it shows ur togther 4ever

so ur thursday (^▽^)

 

LilMochi:

almost shed tears at that one

ngl

 

Kookie:

same

 

Joons_Future:

wow puns and compliments

joon might just be replaced lol

what about friday

whos friday

 

Taesday:

idk 

i think it might be jiminie

its the first day of fun time for the week

u always feel so free waking up on a friday

knowing dat the week is over and u can shed any burdensome responsibilities 

and jimin seems like a fun person who can be weighed down sometimes but decided to use the arts to relieve himself

and thats y he dances

to not be weighed down

 

LilMochi:

its official

ive cried

on a tuesday

for reasons other than work or school

taehyung, uve just become my new favorite person

 

Kookie:

u think u kno a person smh

pls tell me im saturday

i wanna be saturday 

 

Taesday:

yes i think u r saturday kookie

 

Kookie:

i normally dont do this 

but

in the spirit of taesday and happiness

☆*゚¨゚゚・*:..゙((ε(*⌒▽⌒)†*゚¨゚゚・*:..☆

suck it bitches im saturday

 

Joons_Future:

ill kill u lil boi

 

Hobi:

normally same

but that emoji is so freaking cute

so...

ha hes saturday bitches

 

Taesday:

lol i didnt even tell u guys y

(-‸ლ)

 

Hobi:

lmfao

he just got here n hes already done

tell us wat u got taehyungie

 

Taesday:

ok hyung

i think kookie is saturday bc i think that saturday is just that day where u lose all inhibitions and let urself have fun bc u can

and jungkook seems like the type to try to live life to the fullest and not care or stress

which i think is really cool

 

Kookie:

and once again

⊂(▀¯▀⊂)

im saturday bitches

 

LilMochi:

ya kno dat means ur nxt to yoongi hyung

4ever 

since hes sunday

...hes sunday right?

 

Hobi:

smh

thats the only day left jimin

 

Taesday:

ofc ahjussi is sunday

sunday is the rest day

when u can relax and sleep and just breathe all day long 

and ahjussi was up all night last night to finish his song n he is probs the type to overwork himself seeking perfection even when he has it

so sundays would be perfect for him because he deserves some rest

 

Hobi:

im pretty sure this boys psychic

i couldnt describe yoongi hyung better if i tried

and ive known him so long

either taes uber smart or im a bad friend

 

Kookie:

mmmmmmm

ill choose c) a and b

 

Hobi:

i will kill u

 

[SeokSeok Ballers]

 

hoSEOK:

hyung

i think this boy might literally be

an angel

an ANGEL

AN ANGEL!!!!

 

SEOKjin:

i told u guys

ive know him for like three days

and already i would donate a kidney for this kid

i dont kno where he was made but there needs to be more of him

 

hoSEOK:

srsly hyung

hes rlly nice

i mean yoongi has been a lowkey (but rlly highkey) ass to him since u made this chat

and he doesnt seem to care or like even register it

i mean he calls him ahjussi and says he deserves rest and crap

and my heart is about to melt out of my ribcage???

and im pretty sure from now on im gonna start advocating for mondays even though just yesterday they were the bane of my existence

whts happening 2 me?

 

SEOKjin:

im thinking of calling it the TAE EFFECT

i mean,, devil jungkook called him hyung and lets him call him kookie

even though he used to get so mad when we did it

and hes using emojis and stuff

taehyung can make tungsten melt

 

hoSEOK:

...

wtf is tungsten?

 

SEOKjin:

how r u in college?

its the strongest natural metal with the highest melting point for unalloyed metal and the 2nd highest for the entire periodic table

so dumb

 

hoSEOK:

dnt kno where why or how u can know that

and i dont kno when i would ever need to know that

and ur rude

but also right

 

SEOKjin:

no im not right

im thursday

2x better than the greatest sunset

better recognize loser

Chapter Text

Joons_Future has renamed the chat HAPPY NAMJOON DAY

 

Joons_Future:

its seven o clock 

on a warm wednesday morning

already starting joon day right

good morning 

is everyone present?

 

Hobi:

im here overlord

 

LilMochi:

as am i

 

Kookie:

present hyung

 

Taesday:

(⌒▽⌒)☆ 

good morns 

should i change my name since its not tuesday anymre?

 

Yoongi:

what. 

 

Jins_Future:

babe what is this?

 

Joons_Future:

well

if u were in the gc ystrday, ud know that wednesday has been designated as Kim Namjoons day

thnx to lil taehyungie

so

 

Joons_Future has changed Jins_Future’s name to My_Day

 

Joons_Future:

this is only temporary 

and tae is right

 

Joons_Future has changed Taesday’s name to cuTAE

 

Joons_Future:

now

in the spirit of kim namjoons day i think we each should say something we find admirable about him to start off the day

me first

he managed to bag me lol so he must be hot af

 

Hobi:

is that a compliment or a put down?

so confused

 

My_Day:

thanks babe

i guess

uh

i have good fashion sense

 

Hobi:

boi where?

lol

joonie is a great friend to have

ily my lil bby

 

My_Day:

you’re weird

 

Hobi:

smh

who nxt?

 

Joons_Future:

Yoongi

go nxt or ill destroy u

n it better b good

 

Yoongi:

relax

kim namjoon is the best musician i kno

his raps are fantastic and his lyrics are inspirational

 

My_Day:

you guys are going to make me cry before i have to go to work

why?

 

Joons_Future:

yoongi tht was beautiful 

legit shed a tear

 

Kookie:

ooh ooh me next

namjoon hyung is the best advice giver

he always has a way of making me forget my problems

 

My_Day:

seriously guys

im tearing up

i cant take much more

 

Joons_Future:

theres only two people left

u can bear with us joon

 

LilMochi:

hyung never fails to make me laugh even when i dont want to 

and his smile always brightens up my day

 

Hobi:

i bet hes crying into his pillow rn lol

tae its ur turn

 

Yoongi:

wht can he say?

hes only known namjoon for like 3 days

 

Joons_Future:

1302

 

Yoongi:

ur turn mistaek

 

cuTAE:

yay ٩(◕‿◕。)۶

 

LilMochi:

...

 

cuTAE:

ok

joonie hyung i havent known u that long so im sorry if my compliment seems bad

but u r genuinely a beautiful human being

u seem so smart and cool

and u love jin hyung which is obvious bc hes so lovable

and w the way everyone in this gc talks about u

u must be the glue that holds all these different personalities together keeping ur friends united

im happy ur my hyung bc ur a true angel

HAPPY WEDNESDAY 

 

Hobi:

PSA: im crying

i have class soon

i cant handle this level of unrealness 

just why

 

Kookie:

same my bro

same

 

My_Day:

i - 

thank you taehyungie

 

cuTAE:

ur welcome hyung

have a great wednesday

everyone

reflect on ur week n see if ur where u need to be

its the best day to think

i have class to go to so bye

HAPPY WEDNESDAY

HAPPY NAMJOON DAY

 

Joons_Future:

happy namjoon day taehyung

may it be reflective

 

Kookie:

lol

may the reflection be w u

i just chortled in my corn flakes

 

Hobi:

rotfl

 

Yoongi:

is he gone?

 

Hobi:

?

 

Yoongi:

the stranger hobi

is he gone now?

 

Joons_Future:

if ur gonna say some neg shit

do it on ur day

dont ruin my namjoon day or i might reflect a boot up ur ass

 

Yoongi:

wtvr

 

My_Day:

ok

i dont think this should be discussed here so

 

 

[Buddies for Life]

 

Jins_Future:

whats wrong hyung

 

Hobi:

wait

 

Hobi has renamed the chat YAAS

 

LilMochi:

whyd u name it yaas

 

Hobi:

no no

its YAAS

(*whispers to jimin* it stands 4 yoongis an asshole society)

 

LilMochi:

(*whispers to hobi* ohhhh)

 

Yoongi:

i will destroy u

 

Joons_Future:

i find it pretty accurate ngl

 

Jins_Future:

babe stop

 

Joons_Future:

i only speak the truth so

 

Yoongi:

wow so ur just gonna take some weird guys side

just bc u want to pass a fucking class

ok

 

Maknae:

i am confusion

y r we in this chat?

 

Joons_Future:

welcome young and impressionable maknae

ur about to witness the complete and utter demolition of one min yoongi

 

Yoongi:

y

bc i dnt like some random guy?

 

Hobi:

tbf hyung, u r being kind of a dick

hes been nuthin but nice to u and the rest of us

just give the guy a chance

 

Yoongi:

no

 

Maknae:

but i like him hyung

he seems pretty cool

bc of him i even get to be saturday

 

LilMochi:

omfg we kno jungkook

pls let that shit go

 

Maknae:

no

 

Jins_Future:

look

the point is that we understand that you’re uncomfortable with new people

we get it

but taehyung has shown no signs of bad intentions and jin hyung kind of needs him to walk across the stage so

 

Yoongi:

the last person u guys introduced me to ended up ruining my life

rmbr tht?

 

Joons_Future:

look yoongi

i kno u have these reservations and i understand y

and ur right

we fucked up with that dude n he was a terrible human being

but u cnt go thru life with sunglasses on

ull mis out on see some rlly amazing ppl

 

Yoongi:

well see abt tht

i have enough amazing ppl in my life

 

LilMochi:

i kinda want to ‘aww’ bc hes thinks we’re amazing

but then i remember his assholery to tae and i also want to huff in indignation

 

Maknae:

mood

 


 

 

[HAPPY NAMJOON DAY]

 

cuTAE:

in the spirits of it being kim namjoon day

i wanted to say that

SURPRISE HYUNG

 

Kookie:

once again

confusion

whts happening?

 

cuTAE:

u shall see my friend u shall see

*slowly strokes my grey beard of wisdom*

 

Kookie:

*slowly scratches my black hair of stupidity*

 

LilMochi:

accurate

 

Kookie:

*quickly kills jimins body of smallness*

 

LilMochi:

u wanna go?

 

My_Day:

KIM F-ING TAEHYUNG

THE LIGHT AND LOVE OF MY LIFE

 

Hobi:

ok

wtf

 

cuTAE:

did u like it hyung?

is it good?

 

My_Day:

is it good?

is it GOOD!!!!

IT. IS. LIFE

 

cuTAE:

✽-(ˆ▽ˆ)/✽ ✽\(ˆ▽ˆ)-✽

 

Hobi:

cute n

what what what

 

Kookie:

whats life? 

cmon bro spill the beans

 

My_Day:

kim taehyung

my new forever

has given me

...

drumroll pls

 

Hobi:

u spend too much time w jin hyung

jungkook, the drums

 

Kookie:

why me???

drumroll

there

 

My_Day:

thank you

i have been gifted a mega ryan set

 

LilMochi:

ok...

dnt u have like a gazillion of those things

 

My_Day:

i will cast sectumsempra on you if you ever call my precious ryan plushies things again

and no

i do not have a ryan waste basket, a ryan towel set, a ryan blanket, ryan sheets, a ryan water bottle, three packs of ryan stickers, and a huge ryan plushie with three outifts: a suit, a hoodie, and pajamas

 

Hobi:

whoa

 

My_Day:

correction

didnt not dont

i didnt have all of this until my new favorite bought this all for me

im in love

seokjin,, i want all your shit out my place by tomorrow 

 

Joons_Future:

one,, i will set ALL of ur shit on fire if u ever dumped me

two,, i dont even live wit u i live w yoongi

three,, taehyung u can have him

 

Hobi:

*gasp*

kicked to the curb on his special day

daammmmnmnn

 

Maknae:

it rlly be ur own tho

 

My_Day:

taehyung

we have jins blessing

i am now urs forever

 

cuTAE:

YAY ≧ω≦

Chapter Text

Joons_Future has changed their name to ThursdayGoddess

 

ThursdayGoddess:

now

i wouldve texted u peasants this morning so that u could have all day to bask in my glory

but

i decided that id wait until it was almost sunset so we could all watch it

and remember my face looks twice as good as u shower me with compliments

 

Hobi:

wow

i cnt believe ur restraint

 

Kookie:

im ready hyung

ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ

 

ThursdayGoddess:

and before i forget

 

ThursdayGoddess has changed My_Day’s name to My_Slave

 

My_Slave:

smh

what do i get out of this relationship?

 

ThursdayGoddess:

everything worth having in ur life

dnt play with me boi

now shower me with compliments plebians whoever goes first gets a prize

 

Kookie:

whenever i see hyung i wish i was that handsome

wht do i get?

 

ThursdayGoddess:

hmmm

how about a batch of ur fav cupcakes 

 

Kookie:

YA BETCHA BABY

WOOHOO

 

LilMochi:

dammit

i want some cupcakes

 

ThursdayGoddess:

ill let u have one 

IF ur compliment is good

 

LilMochi:

i pretty sure ur the reason i wake up every morning

just to see ur smile and hear ur voice

 

ThusdayGoddess:

good

thatll get u two cupcakes, extra frosting

 

LilMochi:

IVE HIT THE JACKPOT 

 

Hobi:

ur quick-minded and always manage to come up with great jokes

 

ThursdayGoddess:

ty hoseok

 

Hobi:

what the hell

wheres my cupcake deal

 

ThursdayGoddess:

omg fine

everyone gets cupcakes

 

Hobi:

YESSSS

 

Kookie:

what the hell

 

ThursdayGoddess:

ill give you extra jungkook

 

Kookie:

GONNA EAT ‘EM ALL

JINS CUPCAKES

 

My_Slave:

that sounds like an euphemism for my jins body

watch yourself Jeon Jungkook

 

Kookie:

whts a euphemism????

 

My_Slave:

nevermind 

Jinnie hyung, when i met you, you changed my world for the better and you help me get out of my head and focus on the here and now

and i hope to have that with you for many years to come 

 

LilMochi:

is this about to be a proposal?

 

My_Slave:

and because i knew that today would be kim seokjin day

i bought you something

 

Hobi:

im legit shook @ how we’re all treating these days like real holidays

 

Kookie:

same

 

ThursdayGoddess:

what u get me bby?

 

My_Slave:

its a promise ring

w pink sapphires and topaz

it represents my commitment to u

and my wish to see your face evry thursday until i die

 

Hobi:

...

fuck edward cullen

i only know a kim namjoon

 

LilMochi:

romeo who?

kim namjoon is all there ever was

 

Kookie:

Ash Ketchum?

No no, its kim namjoon

 

Hobi:

?

 

ThursdayGoddess:

omfg namjoon

im crying

where is it

can i see it

omg how much did that cost

im literally crying over here

and the suns setting

wtf

 

My_Slave:

im actually right outside ur door

u can see it if you open it

 

ThursdayGoddess:

wait wait wait i need to freshen up

.

.

.

ok im ready

coming

 

Hobi:

this is the most riveting shit that ive seen/read/wtvr in the entirety of my existence

 

LilMochi:

feels like i should be eating popcorn

 

Kookie:

im wit u

 

ThursdayGoddess:

askjhd

guys

theres an inscription

“for every thursday to come, joon”

 

Hobi:

def crying in the club rn

 

Kookie:

if only i could love myself as much as namjoon loved jin

almost the exact same thing i said after watching the notebook

 

ThursdayGoddess:

ok so 

whos left for the compliments

 

Hobi:

min yoongi

 

ThursdayGoddess:

@Yoongi

@Yoongi

 

Yoongi:

what now

its almost midnight

 

LilMochi:

its not tho?

 

ThursdayGoddess:

read up and get caught up

then give me my thursday given right

 

Yoongi:

oh

well, congrats on ur engagement or wtvr tf that was

and seokjin, youre the best roommate i could ever ask for

u always clean up ur shit and cook for me and make sure im healthy

im v grateful i know you

 

ThursdayGoddess:

 

My_Slave:

he broke out in tears again

so cute

 

Yoongi:

i know

i can hear him thru the wall

it wasnt even that serious

 

ThursdayGoddess:

shut up yoongi

even though youre a grade A asshole

youre also kind and sweet and i couldnt see myself living with anyone else

even namjoon

 

My_Slave:

i still have the receipt jin hyung

 

Kookie:

shots fired

 

ThursdayGoddess:

do u want cupcakes or not?

 

Kookie:

shot not fired

the gun wasnt even loaded

 

Yoongi:

i just noticed something

 

LilMochi:

the sun? for the first time in ur skins life?

 

Yoongi:

haha no

i noticed tht taehyung has not said anything yet

wasnt all this his idea

 

ThursdayGoddess:

i just knew it wouldnt last

no it wasnt his idea

he only gave us days after hobi asked

i decided to do a whole thing with it

so

pls dont blow my natural high

 

Yoongi:

sorry

was just saying

 

LilMochi:

now tht i think about it though

where is taehyung

he usually the first person to text since this gc was made

 

Yoongi:

four days ago

 

Hobi:

*ignored in text*

@cuTAE

where u at brotha

we miss u

 

Yoongi:

dnt call him

i was just wondering

 

cuTAE:

happy thursday evening my friends

(≧∇≦)/

 

ThursdayGoddess:

thts wht u get yoongi

 

Yoongi:

wow thanks hyung

 

cuTAE:

aww i missed the romance movie

(-_-。)

sorry i was just so captivated by this sunset

ive never seen one so beautiful

i decided to draw it and then i couldnt figure out how to get the sun to hit the water on page like it did in rl

 

Kookie:

where are you

 

cuTAE:

im at the beach silly kookie

i wanted to see the sunset up close

and then i decided to draw a gift for hyung

bc its his day

 

LilMochi:

how nice

 

Yoongi:

meh

 

cuTAE:

oh

and sorry if it comes late hyung

but i only gave them a day so

 

ThursdayGoddess:

???

 

cuTAE:

tht bakery you were talking about

u said their cake was good

so ystrday i commissioned a four tier cake for every day that ive known you

i thought it would be ready by now

but ig i didnt give them enough time

sorry

 

Yoongi:

of course

 

ThursdayGoddess:

taehyung

where have you been all my life?

srsly

and dw its the thought that counts ok

 

Kookie:

jimin,, i think we’ve been booted to the bottom of the list lol

jin hyung doesnt love us anymore

 

LilMochi:

dnt go lumping us tghtr

he never loved u

 

Hobi:

ohhhhh

every shot fired lmfao

 

Kookie:

and i thought i knew him

 


 

 

 

ThursdayGoddess:

who has class today

 

Hobi:

not it

 

LilMochi:

me neither

 

Kookie:

same

 

My_Slave:

yoongi and i have one but not until 3 

why

 

cuTAE:

im free as a newborn butterfly 

ᙙᙖ

wow that cocoon rlly constricted me

but now im freeeee

 

Yoongi:

is no one else rlly concerned abt his mental state?

 

Thursday_Goddess:

well

this biggest cake ive ever had was delivered to my door last night

and after firsts second and thirds and sharing it with my bf and my bff

i still have like two tiers left

so i figured

 

Kookie:

WERE GETTING CAKE?

 

Thursday_Goddess:

smh yes jungkook

im offering u cake

 

Kookie:

idk if u guys kno this

but

the BEST CAKE IS THE FREE CAKE

THE GREATEST CAKE IS THE ‘JUST BECAUSE I CAN BITCHES’ CAKE

my fav cake is any cake so

what time and is there a dress code

 

Hobi:

pretty sure at this point jungkookie would sell his soul for food

 

Kookie:

lbr the facts are this:

i would sell my soul for a hersheys kiss

i would choose my phone over a buffet

 

LilMochi:

100% facts

Chapter Text

[Mentor/Mentee]

 

Padawan:

hyung

i cant come to ur house for cake

sorry

人(_ _*)

 

JediMaster:

what

why

r u ok?

 

Padawan:

oh yea

i just forgot i actually do have class today

i gotta hurry or ill be late

but i wish i could come

 

JediMaster:

thts ok

education is more important 

we’ll c u another time

 

Padawan:

(〃∇〃)

ok hyung bye

 

[BOW BEFORE ME BITCHES]

 

Kookie:

im here 

where is the cake

 

My_Slave:

how about you knock on the door

we’ll open it and let you in

then you could go to the kitchen

and then you’ll see the cake 

 

Kookie:

um

no

u have 5 sec to open this door or i will fly right thru it

5

 

ThursdayGoddess:

pls open the door

you kno he’s completely serious

 

Kookie:

4

3

 

Yoongi:

its unlocked u devil

just open the door

 

Kookie:

thx u for ur hospitality 

*walks in takes off trench coat and top hat and places it on stand*

 

ThursdayGoddess:

irl he threw open the door n ran to the kitchen

no hellos or how r yous

 

Hobi:

cnt be mad

bout to be me in two minutes

Kook save some 4 me boi

 

Kookie:

naw

 

My_Slave:

hahaha

 

Hobi:

i say this comes with the full weight, power and authority of my office

Fuck you kim namjoon

 

My_Slave:

how far you are from your personality two days ago

 

Hobi:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

its not ur day anymore

 

Kookie:

top 10 anime betrayals

 

LilMochi:

im here

hello hyungs

how r u this morning

 

ThursdayGoddess:

hello my fav dongseang

 

Kookie:

id feel some type of way

but this cake tastes like love

 

LilMochi:

i wanna taste

hobi when r u getting here?

 

Hobi:

im here

there better still be cake

 

Yoongi:

i saved u some

 

Hobi:

my fav hyung

smooches

 

Yoongi:

ew

 

ThursdayGoddess:

R E J E C T E D

 

Hobi:

wow

this cake soothes any pain

 

LilMochi:

save some for tae jeon jungkook

hes not here yet

 

Kookie:

oh right sorry

 

Hobi:

these dummies right beside each other n txting

 

My_Slave:

we’ve all been in the kitchen txting for the past five minutes

and jimins right, kook

save some for taehyung

 

ThursdayGoddess:

oh 

i almost forgot 

taehyung cnt make it

 

Kookie:

W H A T

 

LilMochi:

lol 

im dying

hobi just dropped his fork and fell off the counter

his cake fell on his face

i cant

 

Yoongi:

true comedy

 

Hobi:

ugh my face

y isnt he coming

i wanted to see his face

hes probs pikachu in human form

 

Kookie:

pika pika

pikaCHUUUUUUU

 

ThursdayGoddess:

?

he has class

 

Yoongi:

no 

he said he didnt

 

ThursdayGoddess:

no

he remembered he did

y?? wanna see him??

 

Yoongi:

no

its just v suspicious 

 

Kookie:

whts underneath my bed is suspicious

taetae dsnt seem like a v complex person

 

LilMochi:

ew

he rlly dsnt though

i mean he bought this big ass cake just bc

 

ThursdayGoddess:

the cake your rude ass was devouring last night min yoongi

pls dnt make me shove ur face into the rest of it

 

Kookie:

ud be punishing us all

im gonna marry this cake

we’re gonna be v happy together

 

LilMochi:

until it rots

 

Kookie:

no

until it catches me in bed with the apple pie

 

Hobi:

...

back to the problem 

sooo no taehyung today? at all

 

ThursdayGoddess:

no

now yall finish that cake and gtfo

yoongi n joon has class in a bit

 

My_Slave:

in like four hours

 

ThursdayGoddess:

tht should give u plenty of time

 


 

 

 

LilMochi:

ummm

 

ThursdayGoddess:

what?

whats wrong?

 

LilMochi:

uh

well

i just got back on campus 

and i see like these big ass posters everywhere

and theres a banner on the front of every building

 

Hobi:

what they say

 

cuTAE has renamed the chat HAPPY JIMBLES DAY

 

cuTAE has changed LilMochi’s name to PARTYCENTRAL

 

cuTAE has changed ThursdayGoddess’s name to Perfection

 

Perfection:

i approve

 

cuTAE has changed My_Slave’s name to SmartHyung

 

SmartHyung:

I also approve

but am also confused

whts going on

 

Kookie:

im on campus n just read one of the fliers

taehyung wht did u do

 

cuTAE:

SURPRISE!!!!

(◍˃̶ᗜ˂̶◍)ノ”

 

Perfection:

what what what

 

Kookie:

the banners all say

‘Happy Park Jimin Day’

the one poster i read has like 60 activities written on it

surprising half of them are checked off already

 

Hobi:

what the hell

 

cuTAE:

im sorry i lied hyung i didnt rlly have class

n i rlly wanted to come but then i realized that we didnt do jimin day and i couldnt think of what to get him b4 i got to ur house

so i decided to do this

 

SmartHyung:

and this is?

 

cuTAE:

a campus wide activity day

because everyone deserves to celebrate park jimin day

 

Hobi:

as each day passes

i hate tht monday has come and gone already

 

Yoongi:

sucks to be u

 

cuTAE:

anyway

i had them announce over the intercom that today is the first designated park jimin day 

sorry jiminie, the dean said it could only be once a month 

not every friday

 

Perfection:

im feeling shook

 

Kookie:

sh00k

 

PARTYCENTRAL:

wdym

 

cuTAE:

park jimin day will now be a celebrated event for at least the next 3 yrs

@ six tonight the cafeteria ladies will start a big bonfire in the middle of the campus and everyone can come and have food drinks and music

and anyone who has a completed poster of activities gets a prize

 

Hobi:

is tht why theyre setting up bouncy houses near the entrance?

 

cuTAE:

yes indeed

im so excited

(๐॔˃̶ᗜ˂̶๐॓)

 

Yoongi:

what is this guy

oprah

 

Hobi:

if so

on monday, i want a car lol

 

cuTAE:

u betcha hyung

 

Hobi:

wait

whhaaaattttttttt

(ᗒᗨᗕ)

 

Perfection:

hobi

take that back

tae, dnt get him a car

 

Hobi:

why not

 

Perfection:

Hobi

i will kill u

 

Hobi:

...

dnt get me a car tae

im a-ok

 

cuTAE:

so i have to cancel this order then

\(-ㅂ-)/

 

SmartHyung:

too precious for this world

 

PARTYCENTRAL:

umm

some girls just came up to me

and gave me a gift bag?

 

cuTAE:

that mustve been some girls from SGA

the dean gave them the task of making goodie bags

wht they put in it

 

Kookie:

this elaborate planning is too much 4 me

im gonna go jump off the brooklyn bridge

bye yall

 

SmartHyung:

we’re in seoul south korea

an ocean away from tht bridge

 

Kookie:

mind yo business

 

PARTYCENTRAL:

theres candy and a gift card in this bag

theres also hand lotion face cream and a bag of jelly

 

Hobi:

JELLIES?

wya i gotta find these ladies

 

PARTYCENTRAL:

by the dorms

 

Kookie:

oh shit

 

Perfection:

what

 

Kookie:

i just found a completed poster of the todo list

whats my prize

 

cuTAE:

well

idk wht the school is giving everybody

but i sponsored tht the grand prize for the most posters is a 70” flat screen tv

 

Kookie:

gtg bitches

i see another one

 

Hobi:

lol

Chapter Text

Kookie has renamed the chat YESTERDAY WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

 

Kookie has changed their name to Winner

 

Winner:

guess wht i got ystrday

 

Hobi:

jimin and i were w u jungkook

we kno what u got

 

Winner:

shut up loser

.

.

.

so u guys cnt guess?

 

Yoongi:

no one cares

 

Winner:

ill tell u

calm down

 

Yoongi:

no one asked

 

Winner:

i have done been gifted by the supreme overlord of technology

aka kim taehyung and the dean

 

SmartHyung:

thts two ppl

 

Winner:

once again

mind yo business

as i was saying

IVE WON THE FUCKING TV

BITCHES

im bout to be living

 

Perfection:

ull be dead if u say bitch one more time

 

Winner:

(゚艸゚;)

but ive just been gifted 

ive earned

i dnt wish to go

 

Perfection:

relax pls

just stop being a lil brat n ull live to see HD porn

 

cuTAE:

porn?

 

Hobi:

dear god

 

cuTAE:

whats porn?

 

PARTYCENTRAL:

...

my faith in humanity has been restored 

 

Yoongi:

is he fucking serious?

 

Winner:

i kinda think he is

joon hyung

 

SmartHyung:

jin said it

 

cuTAE:

is it a show or something

 

Hobi:

( ✖ _ ✖ )

someone

say something

 

cuTAE:

ill just look it up

hold on

 

Perfection:

NO

WAIT

 

cuTAE:

wht is it?

 

Perfection:

ummm 

...

its a channel tht shows puppy torture 

 

 

[Married]

 

Jins_Future:

puppy torture???

 

Joons_Future:

he said he loves puppies

look i panicked 

 

 

[YESTERDAY WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE]

 

cuTAE:

(∩╹□╹∩)

PUPPY TORTURE

KOOKIE WATCHES PUPPY TORTURE

HOW COULD U KOOKIE

 

Winner:

no no no

i dnt i promise

it was just a bad joke

 

PARTYCENTRAL:

the Brooklyn bridge is only an ocean away kooks

 

cuTAE:

I DNT TRUST UR WORD

jin hyung

does kookie watch puppy torture???

 

Perfection:

remember tht time u smacked my neck jeon jungkook?

 

Winner:

hyung pls

 

Hobi:

ooohhh 

 

Perfection:

...

ur lucky im so nice

no taehyungie 

jungkook dsnt watch puppy torture

 

Winner:

m(_ _)m

ty hyung

 

Yoongi:

not tht his opinion rlly matters

its hasn’t even been a week

 

Winner:

and my life has only been on the up

so

oh oh wait

 

Hobi:

what now boi

 

Winner:

if any of u old ppl would check ur phone tablet

laptop tv and so forth

ud see beside the date, it says SAT

 

PARTYCENTRAL:

oh dear

 

Winner:

and i dnt kno if u know this

but

tht means saturday

and THAT means

 

Winner has renamed the chat SaturnDay

 

Winner has changed PARTYCENTRAL’s name to MiniMan

 

Winner has changed their name to God_of_Agriculture

 

God_of_Agriculture:

i demand a human sacrifice

choose amongst urselves

 

Perfection:

no

 

Perfection has changed God_of_Agriculture’s name to IronMan

 

IronMan:

ill take that

 

MiniMan:

u wanna die today?

 

MiniMan has changed their name to Jimbles

 

cuTAE:

yaay !!!

and since kookie is not an evil puppy hater i can safely say

HAPPY JUNGKOOK DAY

米^-^米

 

IronMan:

hell yeah my bros

its my day homies

୧( ಠ┏ل͜┓ಠ )୨

 

Hobi:

jungkook has rlly been feeling these emojis lately

 

IronMan:

i havent been feeling your face

 

Hobi:

*gasp*

jimin?

 

Jimbles:

━╤デ╦︻(▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿)

im ready hobi

 

Hobi:

on my command

 

Yoongi:

jfc

 

Hobi:

GO

 

Jimbles:

every time u take off ur shoes, my nose shrivels up boi

 

Perfection:

SHOT IN THE LEG

 

SmartHyung:

please dont encourage them

 

Hobi:

GO

 

Jimbles:

ur dance is mediocre at best boi

 

Perfection:

IN THE STOMACH

 

Hobi:

and GO

 

Jimbles:

ur never gonna be ironman

BOI

 

Perfection:

IN THE RIB CAGE

 

IronMan:

i gave yall nothing but love on your days

and u treat me like this

。゚( ゚இ‸இ゚)゚。

 

Yoongi:

is tht supposed to endear us to you?

 

IronMan:

nope

its my bat signal

 

Hobi:

for?

 

cuTAE:

who made kookie cry?

⋋_⋌

 

IronMan:

for the unTAEmed beast boi

yall gonna get it

tae they rlly hurt my feelings

 

cuTAE:

*gasp*

shame on you guys

ur supposed to be his hyungs and love and take care of him

u shouldnt take a day that should make him happy and use it to tear him down

i cnt believe after all weve done the past few days to make ppl feel special

u saw fit to make kookie feel bad

if i knew this was the type of ppl u were

i wouldve asked for a different mentor

u should all feel horrible and i hope the guilt stays with u as u go thru life so that itll change ur personalities and make u nicer ppl

now say ur sorry

 

Yoongi:

???

 

cuTAE:

 ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ

I. MEAN. IT

 

Jimbles:

sorry jungkook

 

Hobi:

wow

tht actually made me feel like shit

sorry kookie

 

Perfection:

yea sorry jungkook 

 

cuTAE:

ahjussi and joonie hyung, you too

standing by and saying nothing is just as bad

 

Yoongi:

no

 

SmartHyung:

ur right tae

sorry kook

 

Perfection:

yoongi

 

Yoongi:

i changed it so

 

Perfection:

9763

 

Yoongi:

wtf

sorry kookie

 

cuTAE:

good

now

。◕‿◕。

Kookie

i got u something

 

Kookie:

oh goodie

what is it???

 

Yoongi:

his mental state guys

just saying

 

Hobi:

no one cares hyung

 

cuTAE:

wht is it?

hmmm

idk

cn it be? is it rlly? 

a limited edition ironman set?

 

IronMan:

u guys cnt see this

but im shedding manly tears

 

Jimbles:

id say something snarky

but im legit still feeling low from a min ago so

good 4 u kook

 

cuTAE:

but wait

thats not all

 

Yoongi:

if only this was an infomercial 

id turn off the tv so fast

 

IronMan:

wht is it?

ヾ(@°▽°@)ノ

GIVE IT TO ME!!!!!

 

cuTAE:

(⌒▽⌒)

i bought u a brand new laptop

and a chef for the night 

if i send me ur location ill send them right over

i couldnt think of much else but i kno u like food

 

IronMan:

i am now crying not-so-manly tears

how far is the brooklyn bridge?

 

SmartHyung:

ur dorms roof is closer

 

IronMan:

u right

[location sent]

will there be dessert?

 

cuTAE:

ur so silly kookie

the chef is mking a full-course meal

ur getting everything

are u allergic to anything?

sorry i forgot to ask

 

Yoongi:

is no one concerned kookie just gave this guy his address?

 

IronMan:

i am not allergic to anything

oh shit

when will the chef get here n can he cook for two

 

cuTAE:

in an hour n yes

y

 

IronMan:

my dorm is a mess and ill need something to bribe my rommate with

 

Hobi:

yugyeom is literally ur bff

 

IronMan:

bc were so alike

thts how i kno tht boi aint leaving his bed without some encouragement 

 

cuTAE:

thts so sweet to treat ur buddy kookie

ill tell the chef

i hope u enjoy it 

 

IronMan:

no worries my unseen friend

i will enjoy it

ill even text u guys abt it

 

Hobi:

dear god pls dnt

im having ramen for dinner 2nite

i dnt wanna hear abt ur fancy dinner

 

IronMan:

。゚( ゚இ‸இ゚)゚。

 

Hobi:

oh no

 

cuTAE:

HYUNG

 

Hobi:

haha lol jk

give me a play by play jungkook do you

 

IronMan:

(づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ

Chapter Text

Perfection:

im really in the mood for breakfast 

an usa breakfast 

 

IronMan:

pancakes?

can we have pancakes?

with eggs bacon hash browns

 

Hobi:

u always hungry

didnt u just have like a 5 course meal

 

IronMan:

like eight hrs ago

it didnt even feel me all the way up tbh

im a growing boy

 

Hobi:

no

ur just greedy

 

IronMan:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

hyung

i want breakfast

 

Perfection:

is tht how u ask for anything?

 

Jimbles:

jungkook has no manners

so no breakfast for him

 

IronMan:

its food lil man

hyung could have my organs

Seokjin hyung can i share breakfast w you today?

(人゚∀゚)

 

Jimbles:

wow

his stomach knows no bounds

 

IronMan:

ill tell tae u made me cry again

better watch urself

 

Perfection:

come ovr in like an hr

the food should be done by then

 

IronMan:

((o( ~▽~)o))

see u in 45 min

 


 

 

Yoongi:

i hear a devil outside my door

y is jk here?

its like 5 in the fucking morning

 

SmartHyung:

ummm

its fifteen after ten

 

Yoongi:

wtvr

u ppl should be sleep

its sunday

 

Hobi:

*gasp*

did he?

just?

reference taehyung?

 

Yoongi:

?

 

Hobi:

smh

tae said that sunday was a rest day

possibly why hes not up yet

 

Yoongi:

well

for once hes right

take ur asses to sleep

ur bothering me

 

Perfection:

its my place too?

and no one asked u to start texting?

 

Yoongi:

shut up

 

Perfection:

im holding a knife

dnt play w me

 

IronMan:

put in ur place lol

 

Yoongi:

i may not want to get up

but i will

and ur only three sec away from me

 

IronMan:

put in ur place lol

hyung*

 

SmartHyung:

thats no better but ok

 

Perfection:

babe wya

i told u to come for breakfast 

ur place is not tht far away

 

SmartHyung:

i know 

but theres some big truck up ahead unloading shit

and its blocking me from entering

 

Hobi:

a truck?

 

SmartHyung:

its wht i said

 

Hobi:

ok im offended

 

Perfection:

is the truck black w pink scribbles on the side

 

SmartHyung:

it says ‘Feel the Music’

but yes

 

Perfection:

looks like theyre in front of our building

who the hell has enough money in this building for all the shit thyre unloading lol

 

Jimbles:

u live in a 3 room apartment 

and its not exactly on the small side hyung

 

Perfection:

no one asked u so

wait someones at the door hold up

.

.

.

yoongi wtf

 

Yoongi:

whatever it is

it wasnt me

 

IronMan:

suspicious 

 

Hobi:

ur there too dummy

go check it out

 

IronMan:

lol k

OH MAN HOLY SHIT

 

SmartHyung:

what is it?

 

cuTAE:

oh no

i overslept im too l8

(◞‸◟;)

 

Jimbles:

?

 

cuTAE:

oh well

 

cuTAE has renamed the chat AHJUSSI LETS CELEBRATE 

 

cuTAE has changed Yoongi’s name to Ahjussi 。◕‿◕。

 

cuTAE:

dance my party ppl

~(‾⌣‾~) (~‾⌣‾)~

 

IronMan:

lol y not

┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)┛┗(-_- )┓

y r we dancing?

 

Hobi:

Jungkook!

wht was @ the door

 

cuTAE:

i can tell you that

Ahjussi, can u go to ur living room

 

Ahjussi 。◕‿◕。:

no

 

Hobi:

cnt even take you serious w tht emoji

 

Perfection:

yoongi get out here

ur gonna want to see this

 

SmartHyung:

wait for me

im in the elevator 

 

Jimbles:

i thought u couldn’t get in

 

Ahjussi 。◕‿◕。:

im in the living room

oh my god

 

SmartHyung:

the truck left

im here

SHIT

 

Hobi:

if i have to say ‘what‘ again i will teleport there and kick ur asses

what is it

 

cuTAE:

dw hyung ill tell you

from what ive gathered ahjussi loves music and jin hyung told me he even has his own personal studio 

 

Ahjussi 。◕‿◕。:

uve told a stranger my life story?

 

Perfection:

pls stop talking 

texting*

 

cuTAE:

i dnt kno much else about ahjussi so

i got him new equipment 

 

Jimbles:

WHAT

 

cuTAE:

sorry if its the wrong stuff

(T_T)

i tried looking it up

theres 2 sets of closed back headphones & open back headphones

3 different pop filters

i saw there were 6 types of mic stands but i dnt kno wht ur studio looks like

so i got one of each

 

Hobi:

dear god

 

cuTAE:

the website had a lot of fancy mic stands accessories so i bought 6 sets of each

there was something called Doll Software on the website

 

SmartHyung:

DAW

 

cuTAE:

yep 

the website said it was v important but there were so many types

so i just bought them all 

 

Perfection:

Joon, we can give kook and jimin away

taehyung is all we need

 

Jimbles:

rude

but i would understand

 

cuTAE:

i also bought a MacPro desktop with a fancy looking keyboard mouse and their most recommended monitor

but then i read an article saying tht desktops are good but lack portability so i also bought a macbook pro

but the article also said some ppl use pc so i also got u a HP Envy

there were ten choices for studio monitors so i bought them all

i got u some condenser mics dynamic mics and there were recommended mics for recording instruments so i got some of those

then there were categories i just didnt understand like audio interface n the cables n etc so i just bought it

 

Hobi:

music notes r streaming down my face rn

 

cuTAE:

do u like it ahjussi???

⁽(◍˃̵͈̑ᴗ˂̵͈̑)⁽

 

Ahjussi 。◕‿◕。:

...sure

thx

 

cuTAE:

╰(◕ᗜ◕)╯ yaaay

n i got a discount so it didnt cost too much

 

Hobi:

ive only used them once or twice but in response to that statement:

(_ _*) im dead

 

cuTAE:

i hope the stuff will benefit u ahjussi

 

SmartHyung:

if it doesnt help him itll help me so

 

Hobi:

wow look @ joonie

snatching up ppl’s gift on their special day

such trash

 

SmartHyung:

ur trash

 

IronMan:

i tried to laugh but hyung was staring into my soul

 


 

 

[YAAS]

 

Joons_Future:

yoongi

r u ok?

 

Yoongi:

yes y wouldnt i be?

 

Joons_Future:

hmm let me think

oh i kno!

youve been glaring at the wall since all this shit got here

 

Maknae:

he has?

 

Joons_Future:

why r u still here?

 

Maknae:

u said u were making lunch

 

Hobi:

disappointed but not surprised 

hey whats wrong w yoongi hyung?

 

Joons_Future:

hobi shut up

sooo

yoongi why the mad face

uve been upgraded my dude

 

Yoongi:

dnt u guys feel like hes trying to buy us

 

Maknae:

who

 

Hobi:

even i kno hes talking abt taehyung kookie damn

 

Maknae:

why am i being attacked?

n should we be talking abt this? he can see these you know

 

LilMochi:

i didnt plan on joining this conversation

but

ur an idiot jungkook 

 

Maknae:

щ(ºДºщ)

 

Joons_Future:

what r u talking about yoongi?

 

Yoongi:

the kid had to have dropped at least like 10 million won the last few days alone and he just met us 

whts his motive

 

Hobi:

ヽ(≧Д≦)ノ

why does he need a motive

like the kid just seems legit too kind for this world lbr

im more sus of myself than of him in all honesty 

 

Maknae:

true

ystrday this kid pushed me and i wanted to fight him, completely demolish his rude ass

bc how dare he on my day yk

but then i thought wwtd

 

Jins_Future:

tuning in bc Jin kicked me in the shin

wht is wwtd

 

Maknae:

old married couples

its ‘what would taetae do’

so i told the guy his ass better watch it or imma set him on fire nxt time

 

Joons_Future:

...

 

Jins_Future:

...

tuning back out

 

LilMochi:

wtf

im alarmed

 

Hobi:

pretty sure thts like polar opposite to wht tae would say

Chapter Text

Hobi has renamed the chat MONDAY THE FUNDAY

 

Hobi has changed their name to King Hoseok

 

King Hoseok:

ive been waiting what felt like yrs for this day

ive spent the past three days writing an acceptance speech and everything

im ready for this

 

Perfection:

its 1 o clock in the morning

what the hell is wrong w u?

 

King Hoseok:

did i give u permission to speak?

 

King Hoseok has changed Perfection’s name to Insubordinate 

 

King Hoseok:

now

i give you permission to text

wht u want?

 

Insubordinate:

some sleep boi

i have class tmr 2day wtvr

 

King Hoseok:

dnt we all

 

Insubordinate:

Jung Hoseok

i mean this from the bottom of my heart

if u dnt take ur ass to sleep u wont live to see noon 2day istg

 

King Hoseok:

gn hyung

 

Insubordinate:

thts wht i thought 

gn

 


 

 

IronMan:

is it supposed to rain today?

its getting cloudy af

 

Ahjussi 。◕‿◕。:

do any of us look like weathermen?

 

IronMan:

i wouldve sufficed w a yes no or idk

n ur not nearly as scary wit tht name btw

 

Ahjussi 。◕‿◕。:

yes no idk

n fuck you

 

Ahjussi 。◕‿◕。 has changed their name to Yoongi

 

Yoongi:

there you go

 

King Hoseok:

cimcf

 

Yoongi:

???

 

King Hoseok:

its my new abbreviation 

it stands for ‘chortling in my cornflakes’

inspiration: jeon jungkook

thnx bro

 

IronMan:

always happy to help

the next will cost you tho

 

Yoongi:

i meant ur name

why’d u change it?

 

King Hoseok:

oh

its my day

 

Jimbles:

guys some ppl r still in class

 

IronMan:

sum ppl never went to class

so

 

King Hoseok:

are u skipping class?

Jeon Jungkook

 

IronMan:

omg chill

my class is just later on

 

King Hoseok:

mmhmm it better be

or you’ll be flogged 

 

IronMan:

(●__●)

 

Yoongi:

ur taking this king thing a lil too far

 

King Hoseok:

and yet somehow i cant seem to care

 

Insubordinate:

isnt tht angel?

 

King Hoseok:

how would u know? u refused to watch it with me

and where have u been? weve been txting forever

 

IronMan:

i think its gonna rain

 

Insubordinate:

exactly i didnt wanna watch it with YOU i did watch it tho

and i was just in class moron it is monday

 

IronMan:

a fat drop of water just hit my shoulder

 

King Hoseok:

dnt badmouth me or ill get taehyung on u

 

IronMan:

no like srsly

im not wearing anything waterproof and i hate being outside when it rains

 

Insubordinate:

well he’s right beside me picking flowers so

hes no help to u now

 

Yoongi:

picking flowers??? is this guy real?

 

King Hoseok:

ill spam the shit out of this chat

he’ll emotionally body slam u then ull look up n be my slave

thts wht got me listening to Jungkook’s dinner itinerary two nights ago

 

IronMan:

how the hell can he be picking flowers?

its RAINING

do you ppl not listen

 

Insubordinate:

i dnt kno where u are

but its not raining on campus ok

 

IronMan:

i swear im at my dorm

 

King Hoseok:

if ur at ur dorm how would u know its raining??

 

IronMan:

ok i lied

im not on campus bc i skipped school to go get pizza w yugs

but im like only ten min away and i dnt have an umbrella

n i spent all my money on the pizza bc fking kim yugyeom left his wallet behind

 

Yoongi:

probs on purpose

 

Insubordinate:

u deserve every raindrop u brat

when i catch u, im gonna beat u silly

 

IronMan:

i didnt even do anything

and jimin skips all the time

 

Jimbles:

literally in class rn

 

IronMan:

u werent in class two mondays ago

 

Insubordinate:

Park Jimin

 

Jimbles:

i had a pass to use a practice room for dance 

i didnt skip

 

IronMan:

so u say

 

Jimbles:

so my teacher says u shaggy haired punk

 

IronMan:

the lack of respect in this gc for the maknae overwhelms me sometimes

smh

ITS POURING RAINING MY BOOKBAG

 

Jimbles:

thats exactly wht u deserve

 

Insubordinate:

im still gonna get u 

 

IronMan:

MY SHOES

THEYRE FILLING W H2O 

 

King Hoseok:

youre def gonna get sick

n shouldnt u ppl be showering me w love and attention its my long awaited day

 

Insubordinate:

i know

u said as much at ass o clock today

happy monday hobi

 

King Hoseok:

(◕ᴥ◕)

thanks hyung

 

Yoongi:

i dnt rlly care but since ur so pressed

happy monday hoseok

 

King Hoseok:

first comment not appreciated 

thank you yoongi hyung

 

cuTAE:

good afternoon everyone

ahjussi i hope you had a good sunday yesterday

and happy monday to you hobi hyung

 

Yoongi:

i bet u do

 

King Hoseok:

aww my sweet taetae

happy monday to you too

 

King Hoseok has changed cuTAE’s name to King’s Consort

 

King Hoseok:

since all this was ur idea

i feel we should enjoy it together 

 

Jimbles:

umm hyung

 

Yoongi:

smh

hobi, do you even know wht a consort is

 

King Hoseok:

an ancient homie? the kings right hand man/woman? tbh no i dnt kno

i heard it in a drama before tho

 

Insubordinate:

i really doubt ur being in college

look it up

 

King Hoseok:

if u werent older than me id put u in the stocks

.

.

.

oh

 

King Hoseok has changed King’s Consort’s name to Craig 

 

Insubordinate:

Craig?

 

King Hoseok:

i had a brain fart sorry

i had no idea wht to name him

 

Insubordinate:

bck to wht it was?

 

Insubordinate has changed Craig‘s name to cuTAE 

 

Insubordinate has changed their name to Joons_Future

 

Joons_Future:

i was missing this one ngl

 

cuTAE:

who wants a flower crown? i now have enough pretty flowers to make a few

 

Joons_Future:

u kno how to make flower crowns?

 

cuTAE:

indeed

i make them every monday if i can

 

Jimbles:

finally out of class

flower crowns?

ill take one

 

cuTAE:

REALLY?! ╰(◕ᗜ◕)╯

whts ur hair color? 

 

Jimbles:

? pink why

 

cuTAE:

ill give u white baby blue some purple with a few sprigs

\(^▽^@)ノ

ur gonna look so pretty jiminie

 

Jimbles:

thnks ig 

 

 

[YAAS]

 

LilMochi:

y am i blushing?

 

Hobi:

jin hyung calls tht the tae effect

he can make tuntin melt

 

Joons_Future:

tungsten

u need to just drop out

 

Hobi:

yeah well

 

 

[MONDAY THE FUNDAY]

 

cuTAE:

wheres joonie hyung

 

Joons_Future:

in spirit, wherever i am

irl, idefk

 

cuTAE:

oh

would he like a flower crown

 

Joons_Future:

i would like to see him in a flower crown so yes he would

his hair color is purple

 

cuTAE:

wow he must look so pretty

 

SmartHyung:

ty taehyung

 

King Hoseok:

he just popped right in there didnt he

 

Joons_Future:

wya babe

 

SmartHyung:

right behind u

 

Jimbles:

i bet jin hyung flew across campus in fear

 

King Hoseok:

naw im betting the ocean

 

cuTAE:

joonie hyung!

♡✧。 (⋈◍>◡<◍)。✧♡

ur so handsome 

 

SmartHyung:

thx u r too tae

 

cuTAE:

(ノ∀`♥) ig

 

King Hoseok:

wait

ur still w tae jin hyung?

wya i wanna meet him too

 

Joons_Future:

id tell u

but ive just been following him since we left class 

i have no idea where we r or where we going

but at least i have joon now

 

cuTAE:

awwww

(hyung dnt ruin the surprise)

 

Joons_Future:

(im not relax my friend)

 

SmartHyung:

(where ARE we going?)

 

cuTAE:

(to get hobi hyungs gift)

 

Yoongi:

ppl can still read these 

 

cuTAE:

(•゚д゚•)

they can? oh no

 

King Hoseok:

my gift? My Gift? MY GIFT!

what is it? i wanna know 

i wanna SEE

 

cuTAE:

i ruined the surprise

(ノ﹏ヽ)

 

Yoongi:

for christs sake

 

Joons_Hyung:

and its all namjoons fault

 

SmartHyung:

tht makes zero sense

i am so offended rn

 

Joons_Hyung:

the boi is crying is txt and reality

someone has to be blamed

 

SmartHyung:

i vote yoongi

he shouldnt have said anything 

 

Yoongi:

wtf

 

King Hoseok:

dnt fight guys

its funday not fightday

n tae, its not ruined 

 

cuTAE:

r u sure?

 

King Hoseok:

supr sure

i still dnt kno wht it is

 

cuTAE:

ok great

yay the surprise continues

୧⍢⃝୨

 

King Hoseok:

how cute

 

Yoongi:

strange*

u meant strange

 

Joons_Future:

he meant stfu

 

Jimbles:

i just realized i have anthr class in like twenty min

wtf was i thinking w this schedule

 

SmartHyung:

u were thinking of being proactive

my first year i had classes every day

 

Jimbles:

yeah

tht was you

 

King Hoseok:

lol

 

cuTAE:

WE’RE HERE

 

Joons_Future:

...

 

SmartHyung:

...

 

IronMan:

theyre where?

 

Jimbles:

where were u

u ducked out of the gc for 20 minutes

 

IronMan:

what is this discrimination? yoongi hyung ducks out all the time but no one questions him

 

King Hoseok:

its yoongi

id be weirded out if he was on this gc as much as jin hyung tbh

 

IronMan:

tru dat

anyways, i TOLD u ppl it was raining

after a drop hit my totally not waterproof phone screen

i tucked my phone in my shirt and bolted to my dorm w yugyeom 

 

King Hoseok:

here jin would say ‘u usain bolted’ and then wed all be like *groan* ‘wtf hyung’ and hed be like ‘stfu bitches its funny’ tho he knows its not

but hes been surprisingly hush hush for the last five min so there u go

 

IronMan:

yea why is he so quiet?

 

Jimbles:

if u read thru the texts ud kno hes on a quest with tae and namjoon hyung to get hobi hyungs gift 

cuz its monday

 

IronMan:

Namjoon hyungs with them?!!! wtf i wanna go

how come they can see taetae n we cant?

 

King Hoseok:

my twin spirit

thts wht i said too !!!

finally someone can see this blasphemy for what it is

 

Yoongi:

boohoo

 

King Hoseok:

ur v active in the chat 2day

is it bc u want some social interaction?

 

Yoongi:

no

its bc theres some kid tht looks like he wants to talk to me but i dnt wanna

so every time he stands up, i whip out my cellular device so he’ll leave me tf alone

 

IronMan:

ahhhh

makes sense ive been there a time or two

honestly the only time i reply to jimins txt 

 

Jimbles:

i just walked past ur dorm

i will turn around if i have to

 

IronMan:

why u gotta take everything so srsly

*disappointedly looking down at my phone*

 

Jimbles:

*firmly walking bc i dnt give a shit*

 

King Hoseok:

cimcf

 

Jimbles:

thts never gonna catch on

its too long

 

King Hoseok:

kjwme

 

Jimbles:

whts that?

 

King Hoseok:

‘killing jimin with my eyes’

best hush boi

 

Jimbles:

wow

 

Joons_Future:

hobi wya

 

King Hoseok:

my casa

aka joons and i place

why?

 

Joons_Future:

whts ur hair color again i be forgetting

 

King Hoseok:

i see u all the time wtf

its blonde

 

Joons_Future:

fav color

 

King Hoseok:

omfg are we even friends?

green

 

Joons_Future:

cool cool

dnt leave within the nxt hour or ill fight u understand?

 

IronMan:

ooohhh

leave hobi hyung leave if ur a manly man

 

King Hoseok:

have you seen jin hyungs shoulders

im not going anywhere

 

IronMan:

coward

 

cuTAE:

hyungs not a coward kookie

hobi byungs being nice bc

WERE COMING TO SEE HIM!!!!

(★^O^★)

 

King Hoseok:

WHAT

I GOTTA GET DRESSED

NAMJOON WHERES MY SUIT

 

SmartHyung:

???

 

Yoongi:

you dnt own a suit

n if u did ud never wear it

 

King Hoseok:

I’D BE WEARING IT TODAY

ok hobi think what to wear what to wear

 

Jimbles:

i dnt think tae cares tht much but if its tht serious to you

u do have slacks and a few button up shirts

 

King Hoseok:

Jimin i love u

kjwme now stands for ‘killing jungkook with my eyes’

 

IronMan:

i did nothing to you

 

King Hoseok:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

nobody else has a name tht begins with a ‘j’

nobody’s whole name anyway

 

IronMan:

i still hate you

 

King Hoseok:

when r yall getting here

i need to knoowwwww

 

Joons_Future:

we’re pulling up now

 

Yoongi:

pulling up?

 

IronMan:

i thought yall were walking

 

Joons_Future:

mind ur business

hobi we’re on our way upstairs

be ready

 

King Hoseok:

(ꉺᗜꉺ) ok im ready

.

.

.

im not ready

 

Jimbles:

what happened?

 

SmartHyung:

i opened the door and hoseok saw taehyung

then he ran to jump off the balcony

 

IronMan:

\(º □ º l|l)/

hobi hyung!!!

 

SmartHyung:

dw i caught him just in time

 

Joons_Future:

just in time for u dummies to slip n break the coffee table

 

King Hoseok:

oh man

namjoon thts the third one this month

 

SmartHyung:

wow ok

next time ima just let u go

 

King Hoseok:

.

.

.

bye then

 

Joons_Future:

HOSEOK!!!

 

Yoongi:

tht guy got up again when will he learn

wait

did hoseok die??

 

Joons_Future:

no

he just tried to jump again for no reason 

joonie managed to catch him by the leg but now we’re trying to pull him up

 

IronMan:

We? ur on the phone

 

Joons_Future:

it was a royal ‘we’

which meant ‘im not doing shit let him fall’

oh man

 

Jimbles:

DID HE FALL

 

Joons_Future:

no 

joon saved him

damn

 

King Hoseok:

first, i cnt believe u didnt help

second, ur rude u should be happy im saved

third, wtf u mean no reason??? the most beautiful thing on the planet just giggled

what was i supposed to do?

 

Joons_Future:

id be offended rn by tht statement

but i was ready to launch too when he did tht ngl

 

SmartHyung:

well dnt

i have a splinter in my ass and im not chasing anyone else

 

cuTAE:

hobi hyung!!!!

r u ok?

u should be careful u couldve fell

 

Yoongi:

think tht was the point

but ok

 

King Hoseok:

sorry if i freaked u out taehyung

ur just such a cutie pie

im so happy i get to meet you

HES BLUSHING askjdleb

 

SmartHyung:

i mean it hyung

youll be over tht balcony this time

 

IronMan:

im kinda shook for two reasons

 

Jimbles:

nobody cares

 

cuTAE:

i care kookie

jiminie cares too i bet

 

Jimbles:

i meant to say we all care

 

IronMan:

one: hoseok hyung ACTUALLY tried to jump off the balcony i mean ppl never rlly do it hes insane

two, thts now 3 ppl who’ve seen this man and i aint one of them

i feeling a lil discriminated against tbh

 

Jimbles:

i havent seen him either

nor has yoongi hyung

 

IronMan:

who cares

HYUNG

wht does he look like

 

SmartHyung:

why dnt we just send a pic

 

Joons_Future:

naw

let him suffer 

tae dnt u have something to give hobi?

 

cuTAE:

OH RIGHT

(*/∇\*)

hyung i made you a flower crown

it has yellow red orange and white flowers

here u go

IT FITS

 

King Hoseok:

are u absolutely sure i cant launch again?

cuz im ready to fucking go tbh

 

SmartHyung:

ill shove one of these table legs down your throat

 

Joons_Future:

i love me a savage man

 

King Hoseok:

how do i look guys?

do i look good?

 

cuTAE:

u look so beautiful hyung!!!

ヽ(♡‿♡)ノ

ur a flower wearing a flower crown

 

King Hoseok:

ok bye guys

 

Joons_Future:

jung hoseok

 

IronMan:

cimcf

 

Jimbles:

pls dnt make that a thing

 

cuTAE:

(ʘᗩʘ’)

joonie hyung

wheres ur flower crown

 

SmartHyung:

sorry tae

it fell off when i was grabbing hobi

 

IronMan:

pick it up then

duh

 

Yoongi:

tht guy stood back up

i accidentally made eye contact

hes coming closer dear god

 

Jimbles:

???

i think he means it fell over the balcony 

 

Joons_Future:

ty jimin for being a smart kookie

 

IronMan:

i literally didnt deserve a pun like this

n tht reminds me

u owe me cupcakes hyung

 

Yoongi:

hes standing in front of me

somebody do something

 

Joons_Future:

ur so antisocial its ridiculous

and ill make them jungkook chill

 

King Hoseok:

sorry joonie

u can have my crown ig

 

cuTAE:

NO

thts urs

ill just make joonie hyung another one

A BIGGER N BETTER ONE

 

SmartHyung:

thx taehyung

guys, its almost 2

we’re gonna be late

 

Jimbles:

Two?

my class is half over 

i completely forgot abt it

 

cuTAE:

its ok jiminie

 

Joons_Future:

normally id be all over u like white on rice in a snowstorm

but since it was an accident, wait by the entrance and we’ll pick u up for lunch

 

King Hoseok:

whos going for lunch?

 

Joons_Future:

we are

for ur day hobi duh

you think we saw u just bc?

 

cuTAE:

and we’ll be going w ur present

 

King Hoseok:

i thought the flower crown and the tae face and the lunch was my gift

 

SmartHyung:

against jins wishes, theres more

 

cuTAE:

shh hyung ill tell him

hobi hyung

i got u a BRAND NEW CAR

 

King Hoseok:

brb

 

Joons_Future:

NAMJOON GRAB HIM!

Chapter Text


[MONDAY THE FUNDAY]

 

IronMan:

I think I’m gonna get kicked out the dorms

 

Jimbles:

what did u do

u didnt kill someone did u?

 

IronMan:

of course not jimin

i set my room on fire

 

Joons_Future:

wtf

WHAT DO YOU MEAN U SET UR ROOM ON FIRE!!!

IS YUGYEOM OK? I LOVED THT BOY

 

IronMan:

im feeling v unloved rn

and i meant my room is like charmander charred

 

Joons_Future:

honestly tht diminishes 75% of my anger

tht was a good one kooks

 

Yoongi:

no

 

SmartHyung:

what happened?

its almost eleven o’clock 

wht could u be doing this late?

 

IronMan:

ok well its a long story and a not-so-long story

 

Yoongi:

tell whichever one wont get ur ass beat

 

King Hoseok:

neither one

 

Yoongi:

true

Jungkook, im beating ur ass

 

IronMan:

(;;;*_*)

i didnt even get to explain

 

King Hoseok:

pls explain to us then

 

SmartHyung:

honestly im with yoongi

hes skipping class and vandalizing private property

i say we give him one good ass whooping to set him straight

 

Joons_Future:

these are the moments i remember y i love u

 

Jimbles:

?

 

IronMan:

WAIT

I HAVE A GOOD EXPLANATION 

 

Yoongi:

dont think so

 

IronMan:

GIVE ME A CHANCE!!!!

JIN HYUNG PLS

(○´Δ`人)

 

Joons_Future:

smh

alright fine u have like five txts to explain wtf happened or im letting everybody beat ur ass

 

IronMan:

ur the real one

so

as u all kno, a week ago, we started the whole days of the week friendship appreciation thing right?

 

King Hoseok:

right following so far

 

Jimbles:

still confused

 

Yoongi:

my belt is ready so

 

IronMan:

hyung!!!

Anyway, i realized tht even tho we started on taesday we never actually DID anything 4 taehyung even tho he did all this uber mega cool shit 4 us

 

King Hoseok:

i got the tae face and a spanking new car

 

IronMan:

and im saturday

 

Yoongi:

speaking of spanking

wya kookie?

 

IronMan:

LEAVE ME ALONE

as i was saying

i was chilling eating some day old gimbap (my tummy feels weird) when i realized we didnt show friendship appreciation on tuesday 

instead we were all like ‘look @ this cute lil stitch like stranger handing out days like lollipops’ yk 

 

Jimbles:

i thought we agreed hed be pikachu

 

King Hoseok:

HEY 

stitch is cute af too

 

IronMan:

pls stfu my ass is literally on the line

so i decided i would make him something b4 the day ends bc HELLO today is tuesday u selfish pieces of hyungs who will kill me if i finish that so

but then i also realized me=broke college student

 

SmartHyung:

how does tht translate to arson and possible eviction?

 

IronMan:

i decided tht as an art major id make him something

so i stole some supplies from the arts department 

 

Joons_Future:

joon, add theft to the list of offenses

 

SmartHyung:

it has been added

 

IronMan:

( ̄□ ̄;)

anyways, i ALLEVIATED some supplies and began making a wooden name sign for him with a puppy wearing a flower crown

 

SmartHyung:

can tht even be made outside a workshop?

 

King Hoseok:

i wouldnt kno

 

IronMan:

so once i finished half of it i realized oh shit i gots to pee oh so bad

so i left

 

Jimbles:

tht was dumb

 

IronMan:

who asked u?

when i came back my candles were on the floor and everything was on fire

 

King Hoseok:

wait 

candles? what candles?

 

Jimbles:

u kno jungkook has a sensitive nose hyung

he likes to burn vanilla candles in his room @ night

how’d they fall?

 

SmartHyung:

better question: why didnt the smoke alarm go off?

 

IronMan:

so i think the candles fell when i super mega slammed the door in my rush to get to the bathroom

and last time bambam came over, he uninstalled the smoke alarm and took it w him 

 

Joons_Future:

wht? y?

 

IronMan:

who even knows w bam bam

but the ra said if we made another prob we’d be kicked out so yugs and i never said anything

 

Yoongi:

y didnt u get help when u saw the fire?

 

IronMan:

i did

kinda

i panicked n gtfo but then i felt bad so i called yugyeom and told him the room was on fire and he freaked and called the ra who called the fire department

but srsly dudes, he was giving me a look of pure loathing as the building was being evacuated

 

King Hoseok:

wow

ur not sleeping on our couch

 

Joons_Future:

hobi!

 

SmartHyung:

no rlly sorry kookie

we would if we could but we broke it this morning so rn all we have is floor

 

Yoongi:

howd u break ur couch?

 

King Hoseok:

idek

joon woke up sat down and it was broken

 

SmartHyung:

hey u sat down too!

 

Joons_Future:

u can sleep @ our place

and lucky for you, ur off the hook

 

Yoongi:

double damn

 

Joons_Future:

w tht story tho jungkookie did bring up a v good point

we didnt do anything 2day for taehyung and its almost wednesday

 

Jimbles:

only like an hour on the clock

 

King Hoseok:

well wht can we do? 

its the middle of the night

nothings open but convenience stores n theres nowhere we could take him

 

Jimbles:

tru

and by the time we figure it all out, it’ll be wednesday

we’re bad friends

 

Yoongi:

according to jin hyung, we’re his only friends 

 

SmartHyung:

we?

 

Yoongi:

wtvr

 

King Hoseok:

i knew he’d semi-win u over

so wht r we gonna do?

 

Joons_Future:

im a terrible mentor and hyung

he shouldve gotten someone else

 

SmartHyung:

dnt talk like tht babe

he likes u and u like him n its only been a week

kookie, did the name sign survive?

 

IronMan:

fucking no

good thing none of my important shit is ever in tht place

 

Jimbles:

hmm

y dnt we have a late night dinner party? we can order out bc u kno food places r still open n we can bake cookies n invite him over

 

King Hoseok:

but where? no place is open

 

Joons_Future:

yoongs and my place is open

n i have premade cookie dough n old decorations from hobis bday

some of us can hang up the decorations while the rest make the cookies n get the food

 

IronMan:

thts a gr8 idea hyung!!!

 

Joons_Future:

ikr 

yoongi will start decorating while i order the food

all of u get ur tails over here so u can help

 

King Hoseok:

cool beans

but whos gonna get taehyung?

 

Joons_Future:

leave tht to me

just get here

 

King Hoseok:

omw 

 

IronMan:

somebody pls pick me up

im hiding in the bushes in front of the library

 

Jimbles:

coming

 

 

 

[Mentor/Mentee]

 

JediMaster:

Tae, r u up?

 

Padawan:

yep hyung

why?

 

JediMaster:

im home alone n i was wondering if u wanted to hang out?

 

Padawan:

rn?

arent u tired hyung?

 

JediMaster:

i was but nobodys home n i cnt sleep without cuddles

 

Padawan:

╰( ◕ ᗜ ◕ )╯

hyung!!!

im the best @ cuddles

 

JediMaster:

really?

so ull come ovr?

 

Padawan:

i’ll be there in a flash hyung!!!

ᕕ( ⁰ ▽ ⁰ )ᕗ

omw 

Chapter Text

Seokjin scurried out of his room, dragging bags of old decorations behind him. Passing Yoongi’s closed door, Jin spared a brief glare before continuing his trek through the hallway. Stopping in the living room, Jin released the full bags. “Yoongi,” he called, rifling through the bags for a package of balloons. “Get your ass out here!”

Surprisingly, instead of Yoongi’s bedroom door opening, the younger walked lazily out of the kitchen. In an onesie. Cute, Jin thought. Yoongi huffed, glaring at his crouching roommate, “My ass is already out here, ok? I took out the cookie dough and turned on the oven.”

“Good,” Jin sighed in relief. He stood upright and smiled at the younger, “Thanks, Yoongs. I know you don’t like Taehyung so I really appreciate your help. Can you start putting this stuff up while I order the food?”

“Whatever,” Yoongi grumbled, shuffling over to the large bags. Jin only chuckled before turning around and going to his room. Grabbing his phone, he froze, “What do you think? Pizza? Chinese?”

“Both.”

Touché. Jin quickly dialed and ordered enough food to feed a small army. Or a large, hungry Jungkook, he silently conceded. After calling, Jin slipped his phone into his pocket and went out to check on Yoongi’s progress. The bags were messily overturned on the floor and Yoongi sat in the middle of the mess, taping colorful letters together. Jin walked over to get a better look, “What are you doing?”

Yoongi’s brow was furrowed in concentration. He glared at Jin under the rim of his hood, “Trying to make a banner. Do you mind? The room isn’t going to decorate itself, is it?”

“Smart ass,” Jin chided lightly before grabbing a pack of green balloons and plopping down on the couch. Jin ripped open the bag and set about blowing up the balloons, the room descending into a comfortable silence. Ten balloons in, Jin checked his phone. No new messages. “Where the hell are those idiots? How long could it possibly take for them to get here?”

“Well,” Yoongi drawled, straining to reach a purple letter two feet ahead of him. “If you factor in the criminal actions of one Jeon Jungkook and the fact his RA is probably trying to hunt him down and Namjoon’s knack for breaking things and the overall Hobi-ness of Hoseok, I wouldn’t be surprised if they took forever to get here.”

Grabbing a pack of white balloons, Jin ripped it open with a pout on his lips. “While that is true,” Jin admitted. “I was hoping the importance of this would somehow trump the general stupidity of our social circle. I guess not.”

Yoongi chuckled dryly, “I doubt there is anything that could trump the stupidity of our social circle. It contains some very suspicious characters and that was before you added the super rich, super weird Kim Taehyung.”

“Hey,” Jin cried indignantly, trying to throw the freshly blown balloon at Yoongi’s head. He missed. “Taehyung is not weird. Seriously. I know his actions are kind of strange but he really is a sweet kid.”

Yoongi shot him a look before getting up with his tangle of letters in his hands. “You only say that because that kid is the difference between you failing and you graduating,” Yoongi replied. Jin watched him grab a chair and drag it over to the wall before standing on it. “If it wasn’t for that, you wouldn’t be pushing this kid onto us.”

Jin frowned, “Is that what you really think? That I’m ‘pushing’ him onto you guys? For my grade?”

Yoongi shrugged, standing on his tiptoes and he taped one end of his makeshift banner onto the wall. “It’s how it seems, hyung. I mean, you have to admit you wouldn’t give the dude the time of day if he wasn’t your mentee.”

Grabbing another bag of balloons, Jin stared thoughtfully at the floor. Was that why he was so adamant on everyone liking Taehyung? Was that what everyone thought? “I don’t know if I would’ve been his friend without the whole project,” Jin quietly admitted. He waited until Yoongi turned to look at him. “I have enough friends and acquaintances so I never really looked for more. But, I like to think I’d be his friend. In full honesty, his obvious qualities aside—“

“You mean his richness and affinity of spending it like it’s his last day,” Yoongi interrupted, hopping off the chair. 

Jin rolled his eyes, “Yes, that. Putting that aside, Taehyung is a really great guy. I wasn’t kidding when I said I liked him. He’s different. I never met anyone like him. He’s almost scarily innocent.”

Yoongi snorted, moving the chair and getting atop of it again. “Yeah, I kind of got that when he didn’t know what porn was. Which is weird. What twenty year old doesn’t know what porn is? And do you ever notice how he’s always up at ass o’clock? And he’s like scary observant. Like, he remembers shit we only mentioned in passing. It’s next level creepy.”

“Oh my god,” Jin groaned, slapping his forehead. “It’s not creepy. It’s endearing.”

“Until he slits your throat,” Yoongi grumbled, finishing his task. Before Jin could think of a reply, there was a knock on the door. Jin jumped up in a panic. What if it was Taehyung? No one was here yet and nothing was ready. Dear god. 

“Hyung, relax. It’s only Joon and the rest of the idiots,” Yoongi said exasperatedly. Jin looked at him and saw him on his phone. Jin pulled out his phone too and saw two new message notifications. He clicked on the group chat. 

 

SmartHyung:

Babe, open the door

 

Jin sagged in relief before making his way to the front door. He swiftly unlocked it and pulled it open, revealing the rest of the Scooby gang. Wait. Jin sighed tiredly, “Why is Jungkook not wearing pants?”

Jungkook shrugged, “All of my clothes were destroyed in the fire. Hello to you too, hyung.”

Jin stepped to the side, “Get in here. I need someone to do the cookies. I’ve already blown up a few balloons.”

“I call the cookies!” Jimin called happily, skipping past Jin with a grocery bag in his hand, followed by Hoseok and Jungkook. Namjoon stood in the doorway with his boyfriend, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Everything. I don’t know. This will be everyone’s first official meeting with Taehyung and I’m feeling kind of overwhelmed,” Seokjin confided. “Yoongi told me he thinks I’m only doing all this for a grade. Like, he really doesn’t like Taehyung at all. And I don’t want Taehyung to meet him and finally notice it or for someone to say something or do something and nothing is done and I don’t know when he’ll get here and-and—”

Jin fell quiet when a pair of lips touched his. Hands grabbed his and the soft lips pulled away. His eyes fluttered open to the sight of Namjoon’s dimples smile. “Everything’s going to be fine,” Namjoon assured him. “Just about everybody met Taehyung anyway and doing it here will keep things casual but intimate. And don’t worry about what Yoongi said; you’re not that shallow and Yoongi is easily the most jaded person I know. He doesn’t trust easily and he has a bad experience with strangers. All he needs is time. You’ll see.”

Jin fell into Namjoon’s arms, burying his head in his shoulder. “This is probably the only time I’ll say this so you better listen carefully, alright? I’m so lucky to have you, Joon.”

“I know,” was his response. Playfully offended, Jin pulled away and punched his arm. “Don’t play with me, Joon. It’s too early in the day for this shit.”

“Yes, Sir,” Namjoon laughed. He pushed Seokjin into the apartment and closed the door behind himself. Pulling him down the hallway, Namjoon entered the living room. He saw the banner hanging precariously on the wall and the balloons falling off the couch. “So, you really do need help. What do you want me to do?”

“You?” Jin repeated. “I don’t want you to do anything but supervise. I want to get my place ready, not destroyed. Just sit on the couch and look pretty.” Jin pushed his boyfriend towards the couch before turning to face Hoseok, Jungkook, and Yoongi. “Jungkook, I want you to hang up the paper fans and lanterns on the ceiling. Make it look nice. You’re an art major so if it looks like shit, I will kill you. Hoseok, finish blowing up the balloons and just toss them all over. I want the entire floor covered. I’d do the whole cascade thing but then it’d ruin the ceiling decorations. If there is one square inch of this floor missing a balloon, you’re in trouble. Yoongi, set the table. Don’t make it sloppy. Everyone has their jobs? Good, let’s go.”

“Hyung,” Jungkook said, grabbing some supplies from the mess on the floor. “When is Tae getting here?”

“Uh, hold on. I’ll text him,” Jin checked his phone and saw the other notification on his phone. It was from Taehyung. 

 

Padawan:

sorry hyung

ill be a lil l8

is tht ok? should be there in 30 min

 

Jin sighed in relief, thumbs flying across the keyboard. 

 

JediMaster:

thts ok tae 

see u soon

 

“He’ll be here in thirty minutes,” Jin told him. “Plenty of time for us to get everything ready. And please just go get some pants out of my room, Jungkook. No one wants to see your pasty chicken legs.”

Jungkook glared at his hyung but went to follow his instructions. “My legs aren’t fucking pasty,” Jungkook grumbled under his breath. Jin turned to his boyfriend, “Make sure they do a good job. And when the food comes, can you pay for it? Thanks.”

Jin entered his kitchen before Namjoon could protest. He saw Jimin rolling the cookie dough. “What are you doing?”

Jimin looked up and smiled at his older friend, “I didn’t want to make plain cookies. It’s our first get-together so I wanted the cookies to be special too. So I had Hoseok-hyung stop at the store for cookie cutters, frosting, and sprinkles. Sorry if we took too long, hyung.”

I will forever and always need a Park Jimin, Jin thought happily. “Jimin, never change. Do you need any help?” 

Jimin shook his head, “I don’t think so. The first two batches are in the oven and I’m cutting the rest right now. I’ll call you if I need you.”

Jin heard a knock at the front door. “I got it,” Namjoon called from the living room. Jin could hear the front door open, a muffled conversation, and then the door close. “You got pizza and Chinese?”

“Did someone say pizza?”

“Shut up, Jungkook.”

“Hey!”

Jin sighed and walked out of the kitchen, “Hobi, stop picking on Jungkook. Jungkook, that lantern is crooked. I will hurt you.”

“I’ll fix it,” Jungkook hastily replied, taking down the aforementioned lantern. Jin went to Namjoon and grabbed the pizza boxes from his shaky arms, “Let’s put this on the coffee table until Yoongi finishes the table.” Together, they walked over to the coffee table and neatly placed the food down. Swiping a bag of red balloons off the floor, Jin opened it and handed it to Namjoon. “Make yourself useful, will you? Hobi looks like his cheeks will fall off.”

Jin grabbed another bag of balloons and began blowing them up. He needed everything to be perfect. No matter what Yoongi thought, Seokjin knew that Taehyung was amazing. He just needed everyone else to see it, too. 

 


 

 

Jimin slid the finished cookies onto a platter, being careful not to ruin them. He could admit to being nervous; while he met Taehyung on Monday, it felt different. It didn’t feel like Jimin actually met Taehyung. It was Hoseok’s day and Hoseok was super excited to meet the elusive Kim Taehyung so he monopolized most of his time. Which was fine. But Jimin couldn’t deny the feeling he got in his stomach when Taehyung placed a beautifully made flower crown on his head. Not to mention his face was pretty fucking perfect. 

Jimin didn’t really know what it was he felt, but he knew he didn’t want to make a bad impression until he found out. So he made flower-shaped cookies with purple and blue frosting with white sprinkles. Carefully, Jimin took the full platter and carried it out of the kitchen. He spotted the completed table and placed the platter in the middle. Sighing happily, Jimin took the time to survey the room. There were balloons everywhere, like a rainbow melted onto the floor. But it was nice. And there were colorful lanterns and fans hanging from the ceiling. Jimin spotted a banner hanging on the wall and he couldn’t believe Jin was so considerate as even to make a banner. All in all, everything looked amazing...but something was missing. What was it?

“Hyung,” Jimin went over to a snoozing Yoongi. Yoongi’s only reply was a low hum. “Where’s your Bluetooth speaker? We need some music.”

“It’s on top of my desk in my studio. Be careful. You break something, there’ll be some serious consequences,” was paired with a steely glare before Yoongi’s eyes slid closed again. Jimin made a face at him before heading down the hallway. He entered the studio and looked around. There were a lot of boxes, some open and some closed. On the desk, Jimin saw a fancy looking computer. Must be part of Yoongi’s gift. Right beside the computer stood the speaker. Jimin made the short trek to desk and quickly grabbed the speaker before making his exit, being sure to close the door entirely behind himself. 

Jimin returned to the living room and placed the speaker onto the coffee table. He made short work of connecting his phone and then started scrolling through his playlists. After a brief debate with himself and recognizing he didn’t know what type of music Taehyung liked to listen to, Jimin decided to just turn on his favorites and left it at that. Music began to filter throughout the room. 

“Good call,” Seokjin praised. He was tying what looked to be the last balloon. Jimin smiled at him, “Thanks, hyung.”

“I didn’t get a compliment,” Jungkook complained from under his mountain of balloons. Only thing that was visible of him was his left eye. Jimin smirked, “That’s because Jin-Hyung had to keep yelling at you to fix the lanterns. You barely completed your job.”

“Your face is barely completed,” Jungkook groused. “My lanterns are perfect. All you did was make cookies.”

“Cookies you won’t get any of since you have so much to say,” Jimin readily replied.

“Hyung!” Jungkook cried in alarm, sitting up and disrupting his balloon castle. “Don’t do that to me! I’ve been hard at work for the man and right now, I’m essentially homeless. I deserve a cookie.”

“Boy has a point,” Hoseok agreed from his seat. He had a party hat strapped on his head. “He deserves at least one cookie.”

Jimin pulled a face, “Ugh, fine. You can have some cookies. Jin hyung, are we done?”

From his perch on the couch, the oldest diligently scanned the room. “Almost. Jungkook, beside you is a box of confetti. Open it and throw it everywhere. Then we’re done. And hurry up; Taehyung texted me and said he’d be here soon.”

Jungkook scrambled funnily off the floor, ripping open the box of confetti. He dug his hand inside and set about tossing it all around the room. Yoongi watched his efforts sluggishly, “Just know I refuse to clean any of that up.” 

Just then, Jin’s phone dinged and there was a knock at that door. Jimin looked at the door in fearful excitement. Taehyung was here. 

Chapter Text

Padawan:

i’ll be there in a flash hyung!!!

ᕕ( ⁰ ▽ ⁰ )ᕗ

omw 

 

Taehyung watched the glow fade from his phone and sighed. He shut his phone off and turned back to his easel. This painting was different from his usual artworks, as are all his other late Tuesday drawings. Setting his paintbrush down, Taehyung stared at the wet canvas. As he watched it dry, Taehyung could feel his pain fade away. The longer he stared, the farther away those dark feelings went.

Standing up, Taehyung grabbed the canvas and walked towards the closet. He opened the door and walked towards the back of the closet, next to his collection. Taehyung neatly set it down and then walked out and closed the door. Taehyung sagged against the closed door. I’m okay, he told himself. I’m happy now.

Pushing off the closet door, Taehyung grabbed his phone and left his art studio. Leaving the studio, there was a visible shift in Taehyung’s demeanor. His back was straight, his muscles relaxed, his smile genuine. Taehyung skipped to his bathroom and smiled at the mirror. “Good morning,” Taehyung greeted himself. “How are you, Taehyung? I’m good, it’s a great day. Yes, it is. And we have somewhere to be. So let’s go!”

Taehyung chuckled to himself as he cleaned the paint off his hands. He was so silly. Drying his hands, Taehyung thought of his chat between him and Kim Seokjin. Jin-hyung was the first person who greeted him with a smile since he transferred universities. And then he became his mentor. Taehyung felt blessed that he met Seokjin because through him, Taehyung found other great people who seemed to like him for who he was.

Taehyung happily went into his room and pulled his cuddle buddy off his bed (it was a big purple teddy bear) and slid on his flats. Humming to himself, he looked at his clothes. Should he change out of his pajamas? I’m going for a sleepover. Nah. Taehyung put on a coat, grabbed his wallet, his keys, and his cuddle buddy and he shuffled out of his room. Turning off every light he saw, Taehyung made his way to his front door.

Leaving his apartment, Taehyung made sure to lock up (he always forgot) and instead of using the elevator, Taehyung used the stairs. He preferred walking. He walked these steps so often now, he decided to name each flight of steps by month. Then, he named the last two flights “Bluebird” and “Forget-Me-Not”.

“Sorry for stepping on your face,” Taehyung apologized to March. Taehyung made a mental note to ask the owner of the building if he could paint a mural in the stairwell. It’d probably make the stairs happy to see some color. Taehyung jumped down the last three steps of Forget-Me-Not and entered the silent lobby. The only person who was in the lobby was the receptionist standing at the front desk. At night, it was an older man who was balding but had a bright smile.

“Good morning, hyung-nim,” Taehyung greeted with a smile and light bow. Taehyung was quite familiar with the late-night receptionist, considering his affinity for excursions at nightfall. The man looked up from his book and grinned at him.

“Taehyung-ssi! Beautiful night, isn’t it?” Kim Chung Hee called out happily. “And where are we off too this time? The beach? The park? A bridge?”

Taehyung giggled, a blush high on his cheeks, “No, hyung-nim. I am going for a sleepover at my new friend’s house. He can’t sleep and wanted to hang out.”

“A friend?” Chung Hee pretended to consider, tapping his chin dramatically. “Could it be that the young Taehyung has replaced me? Have I been cast aside?”

Taehyung gasped in alarm and rushed to the desk, “Of course not, hyung-nim. You’re the greatest! I could never replace you!”

The older man chuckled and pinched Taehyung’s red cheeks, “Aigoo, so adorable. I was just kidding, Taehyung-ssi. It’s good you made friends. Can’t have an old man as your only friend, can you?”

Taehyung pouted, “Yes, I could. But now I don’t. I still love you though, Hyung-nim. But I have to go before he forgets about me.”

Ruffling his dark hair, Chung Hee gently pushed Taehyung from his desk. “Go ahead. Don’t let me stop you. Have a great time tonight.”

“Agreed. Bye!” Taehyung waved vigorously before exiting the posh building. The crisp, chilled air hit his face and he hummed happily. It really was a beautiful night. The moon was bright and the sky was clear. Pulling out his phone, Taehyung decided to text Seokjin-hyung. 

 

Padawan:

sorry hyung

ill be a lil l8

is tht ok? should be there in 30 min

 

Stuffing his phone into his pocket, Taehyung started his trek to Jin’s place. It was a pastime of his, walking. Taehyung found it relaxing and he always saw such pretty sights. Like the pretty ahjumeoni who owned the flower shop. She always gave him such beautiful flowers when he made his crowns. And most of the time, she gave them to him for free. Sometimes though, he managed to sneak the money on the counter before she could stop him.

Taehyung chuckled to himself, remembering the disdain on her face when she saw the folded up won next to her wrinkled hand. She was really funny. Taehyung heard his phone ping and took it out; he had a message from his hyung. 

 

JediMaster:

thts ok tae 

see u soon

 

Taehyung smiled happily and kept walking, clutching his cuddle buddy close to his chest. He can’t wait to introduce him to Jin-hyung; he was sure Jin would fall asleep after a few minutes with his teddy bear. Spotting a lit convenience store, Taehyung decided to buy a few snacks for the sleepover. It wasn’t a sleepover without snacks.

Entering the store, Taehyung was greeted by a bored-looking young man. Taehyung acknowledged him with a smile, grabbed a basket, and went to the chips aisle. He saw all the different types and froze. What would Seokjin want to eat? Taehyung grabbed a few bags of honey butter chips (he loved those), he saw Cool Ranch Doritos and grabbed two family-sized bags (he also loved those).

Unsure of what to pick, Taehyung decided to play a game. Closing his eyes, he spun around three times and pointed. He looked. Ketchup chips. Oh darn it. Sighing in resignation, Taehyung grabbed a bag and tossed it in his basket. Closing his eyes, he spun again. Dried squid. Yay! He spun again. Caramel popcorn. He spun one more time. Barbecue Pringle’s.

Satisfied with his choices, he made his way to the sweet snacks. Immediately, he pulled two boxes of chocopie off the shelf, one original and one banana. He also grabbed a pack of Oreos. He loved Oreos. Then, he grabbed a few different flavors of Pepero. He breezed through the aisle until he found the candy. He tossed a few Ghana chocolate bars into the basket. He also took a few red bean jelly bars and a couple of Snickers. Then, he stood in front of the jellies, deep in concentration. Gummy bears or gummy worms? Hmmm. After a moment, Taehyung grabbed one of each.

He continued to wander around the convenience store, grabbing some of his favorite foods. He also grabbed some sodas. Ramen? Check. Rice? Check. Gimbap? Check. Finally finished, Taehyung eagerly went to the checkout counter. Pouring everything onto the counter, he smiled up at the disgruntled man.

“Good morning,” Taehyung chirped. The man only grunted and started scanning the food. Taehyung watched the price rack up as the man bagged his items. He pulled out his wallet.

“That’ll be ₩61,000, Sir,” the man droned, pushing the bags to the side.

Taehyung chuckled and pulled out his credit card. Handing it to the man, he smiled, “I’m not a sir. I’m not even twenty-one yet. How old are you?”

The man stared at him strangely, “Uh, I’m eighteen.” He swiped the card and handed it back.

“That’s great! What’s your name? Are you in high school or college?” Taehyung asked pleasantly, tucking his card into his wallet.

“High school. I’m graduating this year. I’m working to pay for college. Um, I’m Seojoon.” The worker replied.

“I’m Taehyung!” Taehyung replied excitedly. “It must be so exciting being in your last year. I remember being so anxious about which college I wanted to go to. Do you get tired working all the time?”

Seojoon shuffled anxiously in his spot, his hair flopping on his forehead. “I guess. I work at nights so I don’t really have a lot of time to sleep except during the weekends, but my family can’t afford college so it’ll be worth it if I can make it.”

Taehyung frowned in thought, “Can I take a picture with you?” He pulled out his phone and went to the camera setting. Seojoon looked at him strangely but nodded. Taehyung smiled and lifted the phone up to capture both of their faces. “Say ‘Selca’!”

“Selca.”

Taehyung took the picture and looked at it. “You’re so handsome, Seojoon-ssi.”

“Uh, thanks.” The kid pushed the bags towards Taehyung, unnoticed by the older boy as he sent a text to his hyung that he was on his way. Looking up, Taehyung giggled at seeing the blush on the younger boy‘s face. 

Opening his wallet, Taehyung frowned when he saw he only had a few ₩50,000 notes. Still, he took them all out and handed them to Seojoon. “I know it’s not much but every little bit counts, right? Thanks for the picture.”

Seojoon stared in shock at the money in his hand. He was holding two hundred and fifty thousand won in his hand. “Taehyung-ssi, I-I don’t know what to say.”

Taehyung tilted his head in confusion, “I don’t think you’re supposed to say anything. I only gave you a little bit of money. See you around, Seojoon-ssi. Hope to see you again.”

Grabbing the bags and his cuddle buddy, Taehyung made his way out the store. He continued his walk to Jin-hyung’s house. He hoped he hadn’t fallen asleep yet. “Baa baa black sheep. Have you any wool? Yes Sir, Yes Sir, three bags full. One for the master, one for the same. One for the little boy who lives down the lane,” Taehyung absentmindedly sang to himself as he neared Seokjin’s building. He remembered when Seokjin gave him his address in class and told him he could come by anytime. Taehyung was surprised because he never really had someone invite them over to their house, but he was happy all the same. 

Entering the building, Taehyung pulled out his phone. 

 

Padawan:

Hyung

im here

 

Excitedly, Taehyung ran up the two flights of stairs before skipping down the hallway to the door on the far right. I’m so excited. Taehyung squealed to himself. Calm down. Just knock on the door. Taking a deep breath, Taehyung lifted up his hand and knocked soundly. After a moment, Taehyung began to fidget. Was Seokjin asleep? Did he forget? Before he could knock again, Taehyung heard noise on the other side of the door. Holding his breath, Taehyung waited for the door to open. After a moment, it swung wide open, revealing a large grin.

“Hey, Taehyung! Welcome to the party!”

Chapter Text

Hearing the knock on the door, everyone froze.  For a moment, no one said anything as anticipation zipped through the room. The silence was, surprisingly, ended by Yoongi’s deep sigh, “Is anyone going to get the fucking door?”

“Oh right,” Jin murmured. It was his place and he invited Taehyung here. This was the whole point of this midnight party. It was time. “Everybody, hide!”

“What?” Hobi exclaimed, jumping from his seat. “Why?”

“So it’ll be a surprise. That’s like common sense, hyung,” Jungkook said with an eye roll, ducking under the coffee table. 

Before Hoseok could retort, Namjoon jumped up and grabbed him around the neck, pulling him into the kitchen. Jimin hid behind the couch, his toes sticking out. Yoongi didn’t move from where he was sitting. Good enough. Getting off the couch, Jin clicked off the main lights. Jin made his way to the door, adrenaline pumping through his veins. Stopping in front of the door, Jin sent a silent prayer that everything would turn out alright. Releasing a deep breath, he pulled the door open. 

“Hey, Taehyung! Welcome to the party!” Jin greeted cheerfully. He stopped when he noticed Taehyung’s companion. “Uh, what is that?”

Taehyung lifted up the purple teddy bear with a big, boxy grin. Jin’s poor heart fluttered when those big eyes disappeared behind his eyelids. “This is Sir Samuel. He’s my cuddle buddy. I know you said you couldn’t sleep and Sir Samuel always puts me to sleep. Oh! I also brought some snacks for us just in case Sir Samuel doesn’t do his job. I hope that’s fine.”

Dear god, I’m dying. Seokjin noticed the bags in the younger’s hands and reached down to take a few. “That’s just fine, Tae. I actually have a surprise for you. Come on in.”

“A surprise?” Taehyung pondered aloud, stepping into the apartment. Sliding off his shoes, Taehyung followed his hyung into the darkened living room. “Is it a movie night? Hyung, I can’t see.”

Suddenly, light flooded the room and everyone jumped out. “Surprise!” Was loudly called out. And Taehyung got a face full of glitter.

“Jungkook, what the fuck?”

“I thought it’d be cool. You wanted to throw rice.”

“He can’t choke on rice!”

“Uh, actually it’s probably more likely for him to choke on rice than glitter.”

“You weren’t even in this conversation!”

While the party planners continued to bicker, Taehyung took the time to assess what was in front of him. There were balloons. Everywhere. And confetti. And lanterns. And there was a sign. HaPPy taESDay kiM tAehYUNg. Seeing the sign, everything sank in and happiness began to bubble with him. It came out in the form of a sob. And another followed, and another. Until he was crying in the middle of this beautiful scene. 

At the sound of his crying, all other noise ceased. Namjoon stepped forward, a frown etched in his lips. He laid a calming hand on Taehyung’s shoulder, “Hey, it’s ok. We’re sorry. We didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“I’m sorry I threw glitter in your face, hyung. Please don’t cry,” an unfamiliar boy—Jungkook, he now realized—said woefully.

Taehyung shook his head in denial, sobs still wracking his chest. Through his tears, he spared a small smile. “I-I’m not up-upset. I p-promise.”

Hoseok frowned confusedly, “Then why are you crying?”

“No one ever threw me a party before,” Taehyung answered simply. Jin used his shirt sleeve to wipe away the younger’s tears. He found it so sad that he never had friends throw him a party. How lonely his birthday parties must’ve been.

“Well, surprise! We realized we let the whole day pass without celebrating Taesday so we figured we’d have a ‘Sorry we’re assholes but nice to meet you’ party for you. Now, you can meet Yoongi and Jungkook,” Jin told him softly, seeing the happiness in Taehyung’s eyes. 

“I’m Jungkook!” The maknae shouted excitedly, bouncing in the balls of his feet. “Nice to meet you, Taehyung.”

Taehyung smiled brightly and moved to hug the boy, “Hi, Jungkook. I’m Taehyung.”

Jungkook laughed fondly. This guy was way too cute. He hugged him back, “Yeah, I know. Nice to meet you.”

Hoseok dragged Yoongi out of his chair and presented him in front of Taehyung, “This grumpy little fellow is Min Yoongi. Yoongi, say hello.”

Yoongi glared at Hoseok before turning to Taehyung. “Hi,” he mumbled reluctantly. Jin glared at him, worriedly. He really wanted this to work, which it wouldn’t if Yoongi managed to hurt their new member’s feelings. His worries were unfounded, though, as Taehyung only smiled bigger and pulled Yoongi into a tight hug, “Ahjussi, I’m so happy I get to meet you. You’re so pretty. Did you like your present? Wait, you told me that already. I hope to hear some of your music some day. Did I say you were pretty yet? Because you’re really pretty.”

Everyone watched, fascinated, as a blush rose on Yoongi’s cheeks. Yoongi wriggled out of Taehyung’s snug, koala grip and stared at his feet. “Yeah, nice to meet you too.”

“Wow, he really does make tungen melt,” Hoseok said in awe. 

Seokjin rolled his eyes exasperatedly, “Oh my god, Hoseok, it’s ‘tungsten’. Ok? T-U-N-G-S-T-E-N. And yes, he can.”

“What’s tungsten?” Jungkook asked, confused. Then he crossed his hands childishly. “And how come everyone else was called pretty but I wasn’t?”

Taehyung frowned and bound towards Jungkook. He grabbed his face and tilted it it this way and that way. He hummed, “You’re very pretty, Kookie. I’m sorry if I made you think otherwise. You’re all very handsome.

Jungkook blushed lightly and pushed Taehyung’s hands away, “Thanks.”

Jimin raised his hand, “Uh, guys. The food is getting cold.”

“Oh no!” Taehyung gasped before looking down at his bags. 

Hoseok threw an arm over his shoulders, “What’s wrong?”

Taehyung’s lower lip stick out in a pout. He shook his bags despondently, “I didn’t buy enough snacks for everyone. I didn’t know there were going to be more people than Jin-hyung and me. Sorry.”

“That’s fine,” Hoseok assured. “We have plenty of food and we can share whatever you bought. Ok?”

Taehyung smiled, “Ok. I got a lot of really great stuff. Oh, and I met this guy at the convenience store. He’s so cool.”

Steering the excited boy towards the table, Hoseok pulled out a seat. “That’s great. Why don’t we all eat and you can tell us about him?” Taehyung took off his coat, sat happily in his seat and nodded. 

As soon as the guest of honor sat down, the rest of the group of friends followed. Jungkook and Jin both took a seat beside Taehyung; Namjoon sat beside his boyfriend and Hoseok and Yoongi sat next to Jungkook, leaving the seat directly in front of Taehyung for Jimin.

“Alright, I bought two cheese pizzas, a meat lovers, and a pineapple pizza. Then, I got the usual from the Chinese place down the street,” Jin announced, lifting up the upper flap of the pizza box.

“Oh! Cheese pizza is my favorite, hyung!” Taehyung exclaimed, jumping excitedly in his seat. Jin chuckled and immediately slid two slices into Taehyung’s plate. Looking at everyone else, he shrugged, “If you want to eat, you better fill your plates.”

Everyone groaned in irritation before hands were all across the table, grabbing containers out of the bags and pulling out slices of pizza. Jungkook managed to sneak a cookie onto his plate in the commotion (technically, that old gimbap was his dinner so he could have dessert, he figured).

“So, who was this guy you met, Taehyung-ah?” Namjoon asked curiously, digging into his shrimp lo mein.

Taehyung beamed at them, happily chewing his chicken. “There was a cashier at the convenience store. His name was Seojoon; he’s in high school for his senior year.”

Swallowing his mouthful, Hoseok scrunched up his nose in confusion. “If he’s in high school, why is he working a shift at midnight in the middle of the week?”

“His family can’t afford college so he’s trying to save up,” Taehyung explained. He bit into his slice of pizza, humming at the delicious taste. “He was such a sweet kid. He even took a picture with me. Wanna see?” Before anyone could reply, Taehyung whipped out his phone and went to his photos. Clicking onto his new selca, he displayed to the table. “Isn’t he so cute?”

Jimin and Hoseok both leaned in to see the picture more clearly. Jimin smiled at Taehyung, “He is pretty cute. It’s great he’s trying to help out his family and pay for college.”

Taehyung nodded but then frowned, “Yeah, but he said he can only really rest in the weekends. It must be a lot of work.”

“Who knows?” Namjoon said, grabbing another slice of pineapple pizza. “It might just be worth it all in the end.”

“Hyung, that’s what he said,” Taehyung gasped happily. “He said that if he can get to college, it’ll all be worth it. He was so determined and I gave him all the money I had in my wallet as a tip. I hope it helps.”

Jungkook looked up from his plate, a look of shock on his face. “Whoa, what? You just gave him all of your money? Why?”

“Jungkook!” Yoongi hissed, kicking the youngest in the shin. “Shut up!”

“Ow! And what did I do?” Jungkook whined, rubbing his shin with a pout in his lips.

“Are you ok? What happened? Did you bite your tongue?” Taehyung looked at him worriedly, patting his head in consolation. 

Pasting a small grin on his face, Jungkook assuaged the older’s worries. “I’m fine. I, uh, stunned my toe.”

“You need to be careful, Kookie-ah,” Taehyung scolded lightly before kissing his cheek and turning back to his food. Jungkook froze in surprise before sliding out of his chair comically, clutching his cheek. 

“I’ve been blessed by an Angel,” Jungkook crowed in gaiety. Ignoring him, everyone turned away from him and returned to the conversation.

“Not wanting to be harmed, I say this with great reluctance,” Jimin started, shooting a cautious glance at his hyungs. “But why did you give the cashier all of your money?”

Taehyung giggled in amusement, “Jiminie, I didn’t give Seojoon-ssi all of my money, just what I had and it wasn’t a lot. It was only two hundred and fifty thousand won, but I was hoping it would help him for college.”

“You gave a stranger almost three hundred thousand won?!” Yoongi cried in alarm, dropping his chopsticks.

Taehyung sighed unhappily, “I know it’s not much, Ahjussi, but I really wanted to help. Maybe I should go back tomorrow and give him some more.”

“No!” Jin said firmly, stopping that train before it could leave the tracks. “You gave him enough, Taehyung. It’s nice that you wanted to help someone but you don’t have to stretch yourself.”

“But he needs it, hyung,” Taehyung implored, his bottom lip sticking out and covered in sauce. “And I like helping people.”

“That’s really nice, Sweetie,” Jin replied, not knowing what else to say. How could he really explain it to Taehyung without seeming like a selfish asshole? He’d try again another day, preferably before Taehyung end up on a park bench. Or scammed. 

Jungkook finally returned to his seat and dinner continued pleasantly, light conversation sparsely taking place as plates were cleared. Taehyung sat at the table with Jungkook and Jimin, eating frosted cookies as their hyungs set about cleaning off the table. “I like these cookies. Who made these?” Taehyung asked, biting into his third cookie. 

Jimin happily smiled, “I did. I made them flower-shaped because I know you like flowers.”

“Really? That’s amazing!” Taehyung beamed at the older. Jimin’s eyes fell to the tablecloth in embarrassment, “It’s not a big deal.”

Namjoon came waltzing out of the kitchen, “Jimin, Jungkook. Seokjin-hyung wants you guys to set up the karaoke machine in the living room. It’s in his closet.”

Whining, Jungkook lazily sat up in his seat, “Hyung, why can’t you do it?”

“He’s not touching shit from my room!” Jin called from the kitchen. “Now hurry up! When we’re finished with this, we’re singing our souls out!”

Groaning, Jimin and Jungkook got up and went to find the machine. Yoongi came out the room and sat in a chair beside Taehyung. Yoongi awkwardly cleared his throat before looking at Taehyung, “Taehyung, I, uh, I just want to say it was nice to meet you. And thank you for the equipment for my studio.”

Taehyung nodded, “I liked meeting you too, Ahjussi. And you’re welcome.”

“Hyung,” Yoongi murmured, picking at his pants.

Taehyung looked at him in confusion, “Hmm, Ahjussi?”

“My name,” Yoongi clarified. “You can call me ‘Yoongi-hyung’. If you want.”

Taehyung smiled elatedly, “I’d like that, Hyung.”

Jungkook came out of the hallway, carrying a karaoke machine above his head, “Let’s party, bitches!”

“Jungkook, what did I fucking say?! Huh?!”

 

Chapter Text

[MONDAY THE FUNDAY]

 

IronMan:

i require assistance

 

Jimbles:

???

 

IronMan:

seokjin hyung

i require UR assistance 

 

Jimbles:

rude but ok

 

Joons_Future:

lol kookie wht?

 

IronMan:

i need u to pick me up

im outside my math class

 

Yoongi:

wht?

ur ra finally found ur ass?

 

IronMan:

no

but i heard hes been looking 4 me

but no

i was kicked out 

 

King Hoseok:

oh shit

boi gonna get his ass BEAT

 

Joons_Future:

jungkook istg

 

IronMan:

relax it wasnt even my fault

i can explain everything 

 

Jimbles:

ur always able to explain everything

smh wht happened?

 

Yoongi:

does it even matter?

 

King Hoseok:

honestly im curious 

 

Joons_Future:

me too

jungkook explain

 

IronMan:

ok cool

i was kicked out bc i was disrupting class

 

Jimbles:

short explanation 

does not absolve u of culpability 

 

IronMan:

i wasnt finished yet

sheesh

 

Yoongi:

well?

 

IronMan:

namjoon hyung stormed into my class mid-lecture n ripped off my shirt

then my teacher kicked me out for causing a disruption

 

King Hoseok:

sounds fake

 

Jimbles:

tru

its kim namjoon were talking bout

 

IronMan:

im telling the truth

swear on all my old pokemon cards

 

Joons_Future:

ok im confused

start @ the beginning

 

IronMan:

u already kno abt the untimely end of my dorm

 

Jimbles:

yes we do

 

IronMan:

and my clothes and stuff went right along with it

well before class, i went to hobi hyungs and joon hyungs place to borrow some clothes

 

King Hoseok:

i dnt recall this

 

IronMan:

u were too busy dancing in the kitchen naked

btw, ur gross

 

Yoongi:

he was wht?

 

King Hoseok:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

gotta let the goods breathe sometimes

 

IronMan:

ANYWAYS

i got some clothes out of namjoon hyungs closet and went to my 1st class

then in my math class, midway through the formulas, kim namjoon bursts thru the door like a fking maniac

he stomps rite to my seat n demands i take off his shirt

 

Jimbles:

did u get permission to borrow his clothes?

 

IronMan:

yes i did

so i was like ‘hyung wtf im in class’ and he was like ‘idc u lil shit give me my shirt’

and i said ‘u said i could borrow a shirt’ n he said ‘not tht shirt. i never said a ryan shirt’

 

King Hoseok:

ahhh

this is starting to sound like joon

 

IronMan:

n i told him ‘all ur shirts r basically ryan shirts’ n he told me to give it to him or he’d rip it off and i told him no

he then proceeded to grab the back of the shirt n rip it off me in the middle of my fucking math class

 

Joons_Future:

boi does love his ryan stuff

 

IronMan:

i can see tht NOW

then i was like ‘hyung wht am i supposed to do w/o a shirt?!!!’ n he said ‘u skip often enough tht im surprised ur in class today best find urself another shirt’ and then he just left with the shreds of his shirt and my dignity in his hands

then my stupid teacher told me to get out bc i was inappropriately dressed

LIKE HE DIDNT JUST SEE ME FIGHT FOR MY RIGHT TO DRESS

so now im outside in the cold n these girls keep looking at me

 

Joons_Future:

*long, hard sigh*

im coming

ur lucky i dnt have class or ud be out there

 

IronMan:

yes!

(^▽^)

thx hyung

 

Yoongi:

@SmartHyung

@SmartHyung

do u have anything to say for urself?

 

SmartHyung:

he deserved it n that is that

 

King Hoseok:

savage

 


 

 

cuTAE:

it was such a nice day 2day

 

Yoongi:

i wouldnt say so

 

cuTAE:

HYUNG

(◕‿◕✿)

i missed u

 

Yoongi:

i missed you too

 

Joons_Future:

i have three things i need to say

one,, dnt be trying to steal my tae from me u homewrecker

two,, since when is he calling u ‘hyung’?

three,, u saw each other like a day and a half ago

 

SmartHyung:

awww dnt be jealous babe

u still have me

 

Joons_Future:

unfortunately 

 

IronMan:

( ՞ਊ՞)

thts wht u get joon hyung

 

SmartHyung:

somebodys still mad

 

IronMan:

uh duh

 

Joons_Future:

nobody cares

tae, wht u doing?

 

cuTAE:

im going to talk to the owner of my building

 

King Hoseok:

u know wht i realised?

it thurs but the chat is called monday the funday

 

Yoongi:

y? 

ur getting evicted or something?

 

SmartHyung:

now who asks somebody tht? seriously

 

IronMan:

yoongi hyung

speaking his mind since ‘03

 

Yoongi:

not even my birth year

 

IronMan:

it wasnt meant to be

(  ̄ー ̄)

 

cuTAE:

no hyung im not being evicted

i wanted to ask if i can paint the walls in the stairwell

i think it will make the stairs a lil happier yk?

 

King Hoseok:

so yall just gonna ignore me?

oh i see

 

SmartHyung:

u want to paint the stairwell in ur building? 

thts actually pretty cool

 

IronMan:

if the owner says yes can i help?

 

cuTAE:

sure!!!

╰(◕ᗜ◕)╯

im so excited!!!!

 

King Hoseok:

oh so yall think yall funny

 

Jimbles:

omfg

 

Jimbles has renamed the chat to SHUT UP HOBI

 

Jimbles has changed King Hoseok’s name to Annoying

 

Jimbles:

there

u happy?

 

Yoongi:

???

who peed in ur oatmeal ths morning?

 

Joons_Future:

Jimin? Being mean?

Sounds v suspect

 

Jimbles:

sorry i have fking emotions

my bad

 

Annoying:

ooooook

clearly hes been replaced by an alien

quick!

someone call ghostbusters

 

IronMan:

whats the number?

 

Annoying:

pls exit left kookie

 

Yoongi:

pretty sure ghostbusters are for ghosts not aliens 

 

cuTAE:

jiminie r u ok?

jiminie?

 

SmartHyung:

lets just leave him alone

he’ll tell us when hes ready

 

Joons_Future:

yea ok

who wants to change the gc name

 

Yoongi:

seems pretty accurate to me

idk

 

cuTAE:

(,Ծ_Ծ,)

hyung thats not v nice

 

Yoongi:

ur right

sorry hobi

 

Yoongi has renamed the chat Together Forever

 

Yoongi has changed Annoying’s name to Hobi

 

Yoongi:

there

 

IronMan:

did he just?

 

Hobi:

(゜ロ゜)

 

cuTAE:

that’s so sweet hyung

 

Yoongi:

it comes naturally to me ig

 

Hobi:

straight lie

 

Joons_Future:

eh its true 72% of the time

 

SmartHyung:

72 is a very specific number hyung

 

Joons_Future:

the level of yoongis cuteness deserves a very specific number

i mean the boi wears onesies

 

cuTAE:

\(^o^)/

i wear onesies too!!!!

we should have a onesie party someday!

 

Hobi:

yoongi? @ a onesie party?

not likely

 

Yoongi:

if u want one tae

name a time n place

 

cuTAE:

YAY

 

IronMan:

gobsmacked

 

Jimbles:

hey

 

cuTAE:

jiminie!!!!

do u feel better now?

 

Jimbles:

yeah 

 

Joons_Future:

do u want to talk abt it?

 

Jimbles:

no im good now

but i do wanna say sorry for going off like tht in the chat

especially to you hobi hyung

i rlly am sorry

 

Hobi:

its ok

everybody has bad days

shit happens

 

IronMan:

tru, look @ me

im wearing namjoon hyungs too tight jeans and a big ass pink fluffy sweater from jin hyung

thursday has also not been my day

 

SmartHyung:

u wouldnt be wearing tht sweater if u didnt steal my clothes

 

IronMan:

ლ(゚д゚ლ)

Chapter Text

[Happy Feet]

 

DanceKing:

r u rlly ok?

u were fine earlier

 

DancePrince:

yea ig

i just had a hard time in my last class

no big deal

 

DanceKing:

wht happened?

 

DanceSlave:

my phone blowing up

wait

we had a dance gc? how long have we had this?

wait

WHY AM I DANCE SLAVE? 

 

DanceKing:

( ̄□ ̄」) Jungkook pls

drop out we’ve had ths damn chat for ages

 

DanceSlave:

and my NAME?

 

DanceKing:

jungkook HUSH

jimin? u still there?

 

DancePrince:

yea im still here hyung

 

DanceSlave:

jimin! r u ok? did something happen?

 

DanceKing:

(/ヘ ̄、)

 

DancePrince:

i just had a tough class

 

DanceSlave:

wasnt ur last class dance?

 

DanceKing:

exactly

wht happened?

 

DancePrince:

well

u kno how for charity the school has the whole showcase thing for arts???

 

DanceKing:

yea my teacher signed me up for a solo

 

DancePrince:

of fking course

 

DanceKing:

Jiminie?

 

DancePrince:

my teacher called me back n told me he didnt think i should be in the showcase

 

DanceSlave:

WHAT? WHY?

 

DancePrince:

officially i didnt show enough progress for the choreography 

but i swear i know tht fking dance inside and out

ive already started practicing and the showcase wont come up for anther month or two

but when i was leaving i heard him tell other students tht i would ruin the aesthetics 

 

DanceKing:

the aesthetics?

 

DancePrince:

the fucking aesthetics 

but thts not my fault if im ugly its not my fault if i look weird

i can dance better than half the ppl he put in the fucking routine 

 

DanceSlave:

hold up hold up hold UP

UR NOT FUCKING UGLY OK?

 

DanceKing:

Jungkook

 

DanceSlave:

NO

jimin ur one of the most beautiful ppl ive ever seen in my entire life ok? n we live in fking seoul where idols walk the streets

ur amazing ur dance touches hearts ur voice comes from above n ur rlly fucking smart

i mean ur also studying biology. Biology? i can barely pass my math class

hyung ur not just good looking but u also have the most attractive personality on this planet

honestly, i never thought i could meet a kinder person than you

well, until taehyung came n started restoring my faith in life yk

 

DancePrince:

yea i kno

 

DanceKing:

jimin? for once jungkook is right

 

DanceSlave:

HEY

 

DanceKing:

ur teacher is just jealous bc theres absolutely nothing wrong with u

n u shouldnt take what he said to heart

 

DancePrince:

but then wht am i supposed to do?

i rlly wanted to be in the showcase bc i was booted out the last one

 

DanceKing:

uhhh

ill figure out smth ok?

 

DanceSlave:

actually

i think i have an idea

just hold on jiminie

 

DanceKing:

( ⁰д⁰)

u have a wht?

 

 

 

IronMan has created a group chat

 

IronMan has added HobiJoons_FuturecuTAE, and 2 others to the group chat

 

IronMan has renamed the chat Fuck Jimin’s Dance Teacher

 

Joons_Future:

change tht chat name now

 

IronMan:

dang it

 

IronMan has renamed the chat Let’s Help Jimin

 

IronMan:

happy?

 

Joons_Future:

no wht is this?

whats wrong w jimin?

 

Yoongi:

should i get my brass knuckles?

i got three pairs who wants some?

 

SmartHyung:

lets see whats the problem first

 

cuTAE:

is jiminie ok?

 

Hobi:

kinda

long story short, his dance teacher kicked him out of the showcase bc hes ugly

 

cuTAE:

(-_-;)・・・

jimin hyungs not ugly

 

SmartHyung:

yoongi hyung

ill take a pair

 

Yoongi:

i got u

 

IronMan:

guys this is serious

jimin is rlly upset

he rlly wants to be in the showcase

 

Joons_Future:

ok is there a plan?

 

IronMan:

indeed there is

i have something

 

Yoongi:

?

 

Hobi:

tht was me too

 

IronMan:

hush guys

 

Joons_Future:

we’re all ears kookie

eyes*

 

IronMan:

well the showcase is for all art students to raise money

right?

 

cuTAE:

uh idk

i just transferred

 

Yoongi:

well the answer is yes tae

 

cuTAE:

ok (*^‿^*)

right kookie!

 

IronMan:

usually teachers orchestrate the whole thing bc the dean trusts tht they kno who should be showcased n who shouldnt

 

Yoongi:

right

how does ths help jimin? his teacher kicked him to the curb

 

IronMan:

LET ME FINISH

u can only be involved in one thing when ur in the showcase so i understand if anyone says no

but y dnt we form a group n go to the dean and well sing for the showcase 

 

Joons_Future:

...

intriguing 

 

Hobi:

i have a solo

 

IronMan:

i kno hyung

 

SmartHyung:

i cnt sing

 

IronMan:

i kno hyung

 

Yoongi:

i like this

 

IronMan:

wait wht?

 

Yoongi:

surprisingly i mean it

think about it

joonie and i rap hobi can rap too and he can sing

hobi jungkookie and jiminie can dance

jin hyung kookie jimin n tae can sing

n then we can stick it to tht fathead teacher of his

 

cuTAE:

but i cnt sing or dance

 

Joons_Future:

u sing all the time so i can attest tht u can sing v well

n i cnt dance either but hoseok is a gr8 teacher so well come up w smth

 

cuTAE:

(╯︵╰,)

i just dnt wanna ruin it

 

Yoongi:

lbr namjoon has a higher chance of ruining it than u

 

SmartHyung:

ok 

why call my self esteem into question to aid another???

 

Joons_Future:

wht self esteem?

 

IronMan:

cimcf

 

Hobi:

AYY MY BRO

 

IronMan:

HEYY

 

Joons_Future:

idiots

ok but there r hold ups

hobi wht about ur solo? u can only do one thing in the showcase?

n whos gonna talk to the dean? 

n what song would we do? 

 

SmartHyung:

babe relax

yoongi and i could write a song

 

Yoongi:

dnt volunteer me peasant 

 

SmartHyung:

hyung pls

stop talking

 

Yoongi:

im feeling v murderous rn

n i kno where u live n i am wearing my brass knuckles

try me kim namjoon

 

Hobi:

wtvr 

jin hyung i would 10x happier performing w my homies than by myself

(even if i have been working hard)

ill just drop out

 

Joons_Future:

and the dean?

 

IronMan:

i think tae should talk to him

 

cuTAE:

why me?

 

IronMan:

uh u somehow convinced the man to commence a park jimin day every month 

i somehow doubt u cnt get tht man to let us form a kickass group to bring in the monies for the showcase

 

Yoongi:

ignoring all the stupid in those texts i still agree

i think u should talk to him taehyung

 

cuTAE:

໒( •́ ‸ •̀ )७

but what if he says no?

 

IronMan:

well sue for discrimination 

 

SmartHyung:

i highly doubt tht would be possible but ok

i dnt think hed say no tho

 

cuTAE:

ok

ill see wht i can do

 

Joons_Future:

cool great fantastic

whos gonna tell jimin all of this tho?

what if he doesnt want to?

 

Hobi:

that boy has no authority in this friendship

he’ll do as we say

 

IronMan:

i second tht

now tht i think abt it,, im lowkey rlly excited abt this

like hooking myself onto the roof of a car after a long crazy night of partying excited

 

Yoongi:

...

 

Joons_Future:

Jeon Jungkook

have u ever done tht before?

 

IronMan:

ofc not

i drove

 

SmartHyung:

ths might honestly be the first time ive done this but

(ノ-_-)ノ~┻━┻

 

IronMan:

what?

 

Joons_Future:

we’re gonna have a long talk when i see u later

 

Yoongi:

im pretty sure thts code for “ur gon get tht ass beat so viciously ull never look at a soju bottle again let alone any other type of liquor”

 

Hobi:

“n tht ass beating will resonate for so long ull graduate on the deans list n advocate for stricter laws on the distribution of alcohol”

 

IronMan:

ヽ ( ꒪д꒪ )ノ

 

cuTAE:

ok

the dean said we could

 

Hobi:

wtf

tht was like five minutes

howd u get to the campus n speak to the dean tht fast

 

cuTAE:

(⊙.☉)7 why would i have to go to campus?

i called his cellphone

 

SmartHyung:

u have the deans cellphone number?

 

cuTAE:

n his home phone n his wife’s number

 

Yoongi:

umm why?

 

cuTAE:

when i went to ask to make park jimins day his wife came to visit him

they said i was such a nice person n tht i reminded them of their son

 

Joons_Future:

so?

 

cuTAE:

their son died in a car accident 5 years ago

n i told them tht angels had a way of coming into ppl’s lives to make them happier

n idk they gave me their number n said i could call anytime

his wife took me to lunch b4 actually

shes rlly nice 

 

IronMan:

W O W

 

Hobi:

tbh i cnt say im surprised by this

 

SmartHyung:

agreed

 

cuTAE:

so can we tell jiminie now?

 

Chapter Text

[Together Forever]

 

IronMan:

ok jimin

a solution has been bred for u

ur welcome

 

Jimbles:

its ‘jimin hyung’

 

IronMan:

ur welcome 

 

Jimbles:

wht is he talking abt?

 

SmartHyung:

jimin ur pretty fucking gorgeous ok? so u didnt deserve being kicked out of the showcase on a lie 

therefore we decided we were all gonna form a group and perform at the showcase

 

Jimbles:

uhhh wht?

 

Joons_Future:

yoongi and joon will write us a song n we’ll sing/rap/dance to show tht fucker you are more talented in ur left pinky toe than he is in his entire mediocre body

i mean,, you hang out w me 

tht alone should show everyone how beautiful u r bc i dont hang out w anyone under an 8

 

Hobi:

thx ig

 

Joons_Future:

no problem

 

Yoongi:

ok arrogance aside jins correct u r v talented

were all v talented so as friends, we should do ths

 

Jimbles:

but is tht even allowed? i thought the teachers chose who were in the showcase n who werent?

 

cuTAE:

i asked the dean and he said ok

we can perform as a group

 

Jimbles:

u just asked the dean?

 

Hobi:

my friend tht is a conversation for another time

point is we’re all in the showcase 2gethr

 

Jimbles:

Hobi hyung!

you have a solo! u cnt give it up!

 

Hobi:

yes i can

jimin ur my friend n ur more important than a 5 min solo

also itll be more fun when we’re w each other

 

Jimbles:

r u sure?

 

Hobi:

positive 

ill let my teacher kno tmr

 

Jimbles:

ok

but the showcase is in two months

wtf r we going to be able to do in tht time?

 

SmartHyung:

we’ll figure something out dw

 

cuTAE:

are u happy abt this jiminie?

 

Jimbles:

yea im pretty happy

 

cuTAE:

☆*:. o(≧▽≦)o .:*☆

Chapter Text

cuTAE:

good morning everyone!!!!

╰(✿˙ᗜ˙)੭━☆゚.*・。゚

 

Hobi:

morning tae

wyd?

 

cuTAE:

IM HAVING BREAKFAST W AUNTIE

 

Joons_Future:

whos ‘auntie’?

 

cuTAE:

her name is lee haeun

she called me n asked me if i wanted to eat w her bc she heard abt our group showcase thing

 

Joons_Future:

howd she kno tht?

 

cuTAE:

shes the dean’s wife

 

Hobi:

ahhh

ok im following along now

 

Jimbles:

im not

im so confused

y does she want to have breakfast w tae?

 

Hobi:

short version: tae has the deans # and his wife # bc tae is a cutie pie who reminds them of their dead son (rip) 

 

Jimbles:

...

i might need the long version

 

Hobi:

щ(ಠ益ಠщ)

 

Joons_Future:

why does she wanna kno abt the showcase?

 

cuTAE:

idk

she said she found it refreshing tht we’d be doing smth different than everyone else

i think she helps plan the event

 

Joons_Future:

tht makes sense

i heard the deans wife is pretty famous

 

Hobi:

tht makes no sense cuz how come i never heard of her?

 

Joons_Future:

i can think of a few reasons

 

Jimbles:

shes old ppl famous hobi hyung

her family is one of those long time wealthy families 4 inventing the lightbulb or 3D glasses or wtvr

 

IronMan:

i wonder who made those?

 

Joons_Future:

good morning to you too

 

Jimbles:

the lightbulb?

 

IronMan:

no stupid

3D glasses

oh, morning hyungs

 

Hobi:

u wake up w the dumbest shit on ur mind

 

cuTAE:

morning kookie !!

╰(˵ヘωヘ✿)╯

 

IronMan:

im only appreciated by one person

 

Jimbles:

urself?

 

IronMan:

im only appreciated by two ppl*

now whts this abt the deans wife?

 

Joons_Future:

she’s at breakfast w tae

she told him she likes the idea of us performing in the showcase

apparently it’s v original

 

IronMan:

oh thts cool

 

Joons_Future:

u wanna kno whts not cool?

 

cuTAE:

the inside of a volcano?

 

Hobi:

is this gonna be another one of ur jokes bc ill pass

 

Joons_Future:

whts not cool is jungkook sneaking into my apartment at 1 in the morning thinking i didnt notice

 

Jimbles:

oooooh

 

cuTAE:

im confused

 

Joons_Future:

jungkook? wht u gotta say for urself?

 

IronMan:

hyung im sorry i didnt kno u were awake

 

Joons_Future:

idc about waking me up

i care tht u were supposed to be home at a certain time and you werent

 

Hobi:

this might be the final straw

 

IronMan:

i kno u said be home by ten hyung n i rlly meant to but i fell asleep n when i woke up it was midnight n then jaebum hyung wanted to drive me so i had to wait for him to get ready n im really sorry

 

Hobi:

Jaebum? where were u?

 

IronMan:

until the dorm is fixed yugyeom is staying with jb n jinyoung hyungs 

 

Jimbles:

??? he told me he was gonna stay w jackson n mark

 

IronMan:

he was but jinyoung got offended bc he felt he should wanna live with them so to say sorry yugyeom is staying with them

im pretty sure he regrets it

 

cuTAE:

whts wrong w ur dorm?

 

IronMan:

oh u dnt know

it caught fire

 

Joons_Future:

no u set it on fire

 

IronMan:

by accident

basically all my shit is ash so im staying w jin hyung n yoongi hyung

 

cuTAE:

(´;д;`)

thts terrible

 

IronMan:

its ok

 

cuTAE:

where do u sleep?

 

Joons_Future:

on my couch

 

Hobi:

i just remembered tht we need a new couch

dammit

 

cuTAE:

jungkook if u want, i can buy u a new place

 

IronMan:

uh

 

Joons_Future:

NO

 

cuTAE:

why?

 

Joons_Future:

uhhh u shouldnt spend sm money on jungkook plus id feel uncomfortable w him living alone

jungkook hates living alone

isnt that right kookie?

 

IronMan:

um

 

Joons_Future:

isnt. that. right?

 

Hobi:

tread carefully lil bunny 

 

IronMan:

ofc hyung

thx for the offer tae but i would prefer to stay with jin hyung until the dorms are fixed

i dnt want u to spend sm 

 

cuTAE:

oh ok

as long as ur happy

oooh maybe u can live w me

i have lots of space n ull have a bed

 

Jimbles:

trust me

u dnt wanna let jungkook in ur house

 

IronMan:

y not?

 

Jimbles:

ur the opposite of tidy n ur feet stink

 

IronMan:

i can take u to court for defamation of character and slander 

 

Hobi:

except its the complete truth?

 

IronMan:

(○`ε´○)

 


 

 

Yoongi:

im hungry

 

Hobi:

thts usually jungkook’s line

 

IronMan:

one of these days hyungs we’re gonna meet on the concrete

 

cuTAE:

like a dance battle!

♪(┌・。・)┌

 

IronMan:

yea like a dance battle

 

Jimbles:

smells like a lie

 

Joons_Future:

yoongi wya i havent seen u all day

 

Yoongi:

ive been in my studio trying to write a song 4 the showcase

my brain hurts

 

Joons_Future:

then no duh ur hungry

u didnt even come to breakfast

 

IronMan:

i ate it all anyways so

 

Yoongi:

when will ur dorm be fixed???

 

IronMan:

its been like 3 days

 

Yoongi:

GOD WHY

 

Hobi:

hes v dramatic 

hey yoongi eat a snickers ur not u when ur hungry

 

Yoongi:

id kill my grandpa for a snickers rn

 

cuTAE:

ヽ(゚Д゚)ノ

 

Yoongi:

metaphorically speaking ofc

 

Joons_Future:

well im coming from the store w jungkook so ill make u a snack when we get home

 

Yoongi:

joon too

hes been w me too

 

Hobi:

the plot thickens

 

Jimbles:

guys the showcase is like 2 months away

y start now?

 

Yoongi:

im gonna wake namjoon up so he can explain

 

Joons_Future:

dont wake him up!

 

Yoongi:

too late

“ay joon, get ur ass up”

“where am i”

“2094 u time travelled”

“rlly?”

“no u fking idiot get on ur phone”

 

SmartHyung:

i am here n i wish i wasnt

 

Hobi:

(o´艸`)

cimcf

 

Jimbles:

NO I HATE IT

 

cuTAE:

o(^▽^)o

hi joonie hyung

 

SmartHyung:

hi taetae

why was i summoned?

 

Joons_Future:

bc yoongi’s an asshole

 

SmartHyung:

yes i got that

i meant the secondary reason

 

Jimbles:

i asked why ur working on a song now when u have two months

 

SmartHyung:

ahh

well, i realized tht to really stick it to ur dance teacher that ur a multitalented beautiful above human being we’d have to go all out yk

we’d need choreography and we’d need practice this cannot be half assed

so if we finish the song now and give hobi like a week to make a dance he’d have like a month and half to get us into fighting shape

 

Yoongi:

dancing shape

 

SmartHyung:

wtvr

also we need to make sure we pick a good song something tht will really make everyone go ‘wow i wish i was jimin/jin/hoseok/yoongi/etc’ so there u go

we got work to do

 

Hobi:

when u put it like tht...

yall need to hurry ur asses up maybe i should help w the damn song 

 

Yoongi:

we will pause for deliberation 

.

.

.

ur help would be appreciated 

 

IronMan:

can i help?

 

Yoongi:

hell no

last time u came into my studio i tried to strangle myself w my own headphones

 

Jimbles:

rofl

 

IronMan:

no one loves me

 

cuTAE:

i love you!!!!

(◕‿◕)♡

 

IronMan:

( ˘⌣˘)

thank you

Chapter Text

Yoongi has created a group chat

 

Yoongi has added Hobi and SmartHyung to the group chat

 

Yoongi has renamed the chat Let’s Write This Bitch

 

Yoongi:

ok 

GET YOUR ASSES UP

@Hobi

@Hobi

@SmartHyung

@SmartHyung

 

Hobi:

what. the living hell. is this?

its TWO IN THE MORNING

 

Yoongi:

we need every minute 

ths is more important than sleep

 

Hobi:

maybe urs u fking vampire but i wish to be alive 4 my classes tmr

 

Yoongi:

wtvr theres no school tmr

@SmartHyung

@SmartHyung

 

SmartHyung:

what. 

 

Yoongi:

jeez u 2 are so cranky in the morning

 

Hobi:

ur too happy in the morning

which is sus in itself since ur rarely up b4 12

 

SmartHyung:

im pretty sure im hallucinating

theres a face in front of mine

 

Yoongi:

thts me

 

Hobi:

(〇o〇;)

 

SmartHyung:

hyung! wtf!

 

Yoongi:

ive come to kidnap yall

we gots work to do boys

 

Hobi:

ive locked my door so

 

Yoongi:

mmhmm

 

Hobi:

ヽ ( ꒪д꒪ )ノ

wtf was tht noise

 

SmartHyung:

idk but ive been dragged out my room by a mini man n left by the door

 

Hobi:

WHERE IS HE?

 

SmartHyung:

hes disappeared

lol

 

Hobi:

lol?

 

SmartHyung:

im just imagining how stupid i must look lying on the floor texting on my phone

 

Hobi:

im hiding under my bed so

AHHH

SOMETHINGS AT MY DOOR

 

Yoongi:

morning bitch

 

SmartHyung:

what happened?

i see yoongi coming

hes dragging you hobi RUN

 

Hobi:

u rlly are stupid in the morning 

he got me by the feet HOW AM I RUNNING

and he fking broke down my door

 

Yoongi:

everything in ur apartment is always destroyed anyways so who cares

lets go 

 

SmartHyung:

u dnt even have a car and its like twelve degrees outside

 

Yoongi:

hobi has a car dummy

 

SmartHyung:

IM NOT DUMB

IM JUST TIRED

 

Hobi:

...

why is ur name smartHYUNG when ur the youngest one

 

SmartHyung:

i didnt choose my name nor did i make this chat

 

Yoongi:

hobis got a point

 

Yoongi has changed SmartHyung’s name to TallChild

 

Hobi:

maybe we should’ve named him after a tree

hmmm

 

TallChild:

stop texting while driving

 

Hobi:

i can multitask

 

TallChild:

no u cnt

 

Yoongi has changed TallChild’s name to Sequoia

 

Hobi:

accurate 

 

Sequoia:

give me ur fucking phone

 

Yoongi:

hoseok’s face lol

 


 

 

[Together Forever]

 

cuTAE:

good morning

[image sent]

 

 

Joons_Future:

what is this

why am i seeing such beauty this morning???

 

cuTAE:

(/ε\*)

hyung stop

 

Joons_Future:

im just imparting the truth

 

IronMan:

i smell food

 

Joons_Future:

*sigh* jungkook im making breakfast

 

IronMan:

im down for tht

 

Hobi:

make enough for five

 

Joons_Future:

why

 

Hobi:

me you joon yoongi jungkook

5 ppl

thts basic math

 

Joons_Future:

why the hell would i be cooking for u and joon?

 

SmartHyung:

bc we’re in ur house

 

IronMan:

⊙0⊙

 

cuTAE:

(≧▽≦)/ gm hyung

 

SmartHyung:

gm

babe i also need coffee pls

 

Joons_Future:

why r u in my house?

 

Hobi:

we were relocated by min yoongi

 

IronMan:

what?

 

Jimbles:

good morning!

.

.

.

can i have breakfast too?

 

Joons_Future:

sure 

u know what, everybody just fking come over

 

IronMan:

is tht sarcasm? i dnt wanna be a bother

 

Jimbles:

Σ( ̄ロ ̄lll)

kookie ur already there

 

IronMan:

oh right

 

Joons_Future:

no it was not sarcasm

im too done w life for tht

everybody come for breakfast

 

cuTAE:

do u have any strawberries?

 

Joons_Future:

let me see

no we dnt

 

cuTAE:

ill bring some

i love strawberries!!!

ヽ(♡‿♡)ノ

 

Hobi:

so cute

i cnt wait to see my taeberry muffin

 

cuTAE:

i cnt wait to see u 2 hyung!

 

Joons_Future:

i hate to bother u tae but can u also get something to drink

all we have is water bc jungkook drank every damn thing in the house

 

IronMan:

dnt believe him

 

cuTAE:

its no problem hyung

 

Joons_Future:

ok thx

 

Yoongi:

joon and hobi and i will not be in for breakfast

 

Hobi:

no! im hungry hyung

 

Yoongi:

this is no time for breakfast!

we have work to do

 

SmartHyung:

yoongi is a madman help us save us

 

IronMan:

hey i loved tht movie!!!

 

Joons_Future:

yoongi, if i have to drag u three to the table i will

 

Yoongi:

come and get us then

 

Jimbles:

wheres the popcorn?

its about to go down

 

Hobi:

well im rooting for kim seokjin

im starving

 

cuTAE:

yoongi hyung, breakfast is the most important meal of the day

it fuels ur body and gives u energy n u always feel happy starting the day with food

 

Yoongi:

ur right tae

get ur asses out my studio its time for breakfast

 

SmartHyung:

i kinda want to fight u hyung

 

Hobi:

bless u taehyung

 

cuTAE:

٩(◕‿◕)۶

Chapter Text

cuTAE:

perception defines history as easily as history defines perception 

 

IronMan:

???

 

SmartHyung:

thts the deepest thing ive read this month

 

Joons_Future:

i have no idea wtf im looking at

 

cuTAE:

think about it

when we learn history, how we view the world shapes our opinion on whether a past event was good or bad

but what happened in our lives shapes our view of the world

 

Hobi:

oh shit

im mind blown

 

IronMan:

im still confused 

 

Jimbles:

ofc

 

IronMan:

you just got here n ur already tryna get it

 

Jimbles:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

Joons_Future:

lol

 

Hobi:

tht was profound tae

 

cuTAE:

ty hyung

(づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ

 

Yoongi:

jung hoseok

 

Hobi:

god WHY

 

Yoongi:

kim namjoon

 

SmartHyung:

im locking my door rn

 

Jimbles:

what?

 

Yoongi:

if u got time to type u can do tht in my studio 

come over

 

Hobi:

hyung no

 

Yoongi:

come over

or ill kill you

 

SmartHyung:

lock ur door hyung

 

Hobi:

MY DOORS SPLIT IN HALF JOON

ᕕ(◉Д◉ )ᕗ

 

IronMan:

wht happened to ur door?

 

Yoongi:

COME OVER

 

Joons_Future:

never seen yoongi so full of energy

it’s disconcerting 

 

Hobi:

it kinda went past disconcerting into full blown terrifying right around the time his foot was sticking out my door @ 3 in the morning

 

IronMan:

(;;;*_*)

 

cuTAE:

can i come over n help?

 

IronMan:

dnt be disappointed if he says no

 

Yoongi:

sure come over

 

IronMan:

٩(๑`ȏ´๑)۶

 

cuTAE:

YAAY

✧⁺⸜(●′▾‵●)⸝⁺✧

 

Jimbles:

jk gets no love

cimcf

 

Hobi:

JIMIN!!!!

 

Jimbles:

just this once hyung

 

Hobi:

(^∀^)

 

 

[The Oldies]

 

Joons_Future:

soooo

 

Yoongi:

what. 

 

Joons_Future:

im just curious

whts w ths sudden love for kim taehyung

 

Yoongi:

1-its not sudden

2-its def not love

idk hes still weird but after our meeting i figured i could try to get to kno him

also hes v innocent

 

Joons_Future:

that of which ive told u

but u wouldnt listen

 

Yoongi:

it also doesnt hurt tht i saw him w my own eyes

 

Joons_Future:

wht? my eyes dnt count?

 

Yoongi:

u once told me there was a sea monster in the tub

 

Joons_Future:

n there was!

 

Yoongi:

hyung it was a waterbug

 

 

[Together Forever]

 

cuTAE:

oh!

 

Hobi:

what what what

 

IronMan:

scaredy cat

 

Hobi:

fight me bro

 

SmartHyung:

tae?

 

cuTAE:

oh now 2 things

 

Jimbles:

lol

 

cuTAE:

first my building owner said i can paint the stairwell!!!

╰( ◕ ᗜ ◕ )╯

kookie can u help me paint it?

 

IronMan:

( ̄^ ̄) i got u

 

Jimbles:

i dnt kno why but i find tht face so funny

 

IronMan:

UR face is so funny

 

Hobi:

_(:3」∠)_

 

cuTAE:

second, i just saw seojoon ssi!

 

SmartHyung:

hm?

 

IronMan:

whos that?

 

Jimbles:

think thts the convenience store kid

 

IronMan:

ahhh

the swindler

 

Hobi:

jungkook!

 

IronMan:

the truth

 

Hobi:

is not now hush up

u saw him tae?

 

cuTAE:

yea

i was in the park n he was in there w his mom and lil sister

she was so pretty

 

IronMan:

the mom or the lil sister?

 

Hobi:

jeon jungkook

 

IronMan:

_へ__(‾◡◝ )>

 

cuTAE:

both

he was pushing his sister on the swings

i ran up n said hi

his lil sisters name is Hye-mi

 

Jimbles:

thts cool

 

cuTAE:

yea she was so pretty i gave her my earrings

 

Hobi:

(-‸ლ)

 

SmartHyung:

why did u give her ur earrings?

 

cuTAE:

(╯_╰) she said she wished she could have earrings as pretty as mine

so i gave them to her

 

IronMan:

(¬з¬)

but they not swindlers

 

Jimbles:

kookie hush

 

SmartHyung:

its nice tht u gave her ur earrings taehyung but u didnt have to

 

Joons_Future:

whats up im back

whats happening?

 

Hobi:

no one even noticed ur absence

but ur presence is needed

 

Joons_Future:

its always needed boi

 

cuTAE:

hyung i saw seojoon ssi and his lil sister n mom @ the park

 

Jimbles:

convenience store kid

 

Joons_Future:

ahhh

why am i needed tho?

 

IronMan:

the swindler passed his traits onto his sister

 

Hobi:

KOOKIE

ᕙノ•̀ʖ•́ノ୨

 

SmartHyung:

taehyung gave the lil girl his earrings bc she liked them

 

Joons_Future:

um

 

Yoongi:

i dnt trust it

 

IronMan:

THANK YOU MY COMRADE

 

Jimbles:

lol

 

cuTAE:

hyung her name was hye mi n she was such a lil cutie pie

 

Joons_Future:

thts nice

umm tae u didnt have to give her ur earrings tho

u kno tht right?

 

cuTAE:

but i was just being nice

she liked them n i can always buy more

they were only 120,000 won

 

Hobi:

for some damn earrings!?

 

IronMan:

jung hoseok

 

Hobi:

dnt be petty

 

IronMan:

_へ__(‾◡◝ )>

 

cuTAE:

they were my favorite pair

 

Yoongi:

if they were ur favorite why did you give them away?

 

cuTAE:

hye mi seemed like she loved them more

 

Hobi:

tht would be rlly cute if you didnt just give away some uber expensive jewelry

 

cuTAE:

my ring cost more n i gave tht away

 

Joons_Future:

what ring? 

 

cuTAE:

my pinkie ring

 

Joons_Future:

with the big ass rose? u had tht yesterday morning!

 

cuTAE:

i gave it to a homeless man last night

 

IronMan:

im booking myself a plane

 

Jimbles:

for wht?

 

IronMan:

going to america

im finally jumping off the brooklyn bridge

 

Yoongi:

one down 

 

IronMan:

im offended

 

Yoongi:

good

 

Joons_Future:

tae r u sure he was homeless?

 

cuTAE:

he smelled sour n his clothes were all rumpled n he kept slurring

MAYBE I SHOULDVE TAKEN HIM TO A HOSPITAL 

 

Hobi:

he was robbed by a drunkard

 

SmartHyung:

he didnt need the hospital tae

 

cuTAE:

are you sure hyung?

 

Joons_Future:

positive

 

cuTAE:

oh ok

o(^▽^)o

 

Chapter Text

Hobi:

ummm

 

Joons_Future:

what

 

Hobi:

i just received an email from my teacher

n shes telling me tht if i dnt perform the solo in the showcase my grade will drop

 

IronMan:

what?!

 

Yoongi:

wtf

 

Hobi:

she says its a grade

but i dnt remember being graded b4

 

Joons_Future:

oh tht happened to me too

 

SmartHyung:

!!!

 

Joons_Future:

apparently i cant back out of the play without a valid excuse or itll impact my grade

i dnt even have a major role

 

Yoongi:

why?

about the grade not the role

 

IronMan:

its bc theyre upset

 

Jimbles:

about what? 

 

SmartHyung:

we went to the dean

 

Jimbles:

???

 

SmartHyung:

well usually the teachers decide who will be in the showcase but the dean overruled them so we can perform together 

they must be angry they were usurped by some college students 

 

IronMan:

they shouldve put jimin in the showcase then

 

Joons_Future:

honestly 

 

Hobi:

clearly their judgement is impaired anyways

 

Jimbles:

guys maybe we should forget abt it

 

Hobi:

(゜Д゜;)

WHAT

 

Jimbles:

i dnt want u to get in trouble

its a grade

 

Yoongi:

its a bluff

the showcase is an event separate from the school and the teachers know it

and if they try anything, we can report them

 

Jimbles:

its just a stupid showcase

its not worth all this hassle

 

SmartHyung:

no but YOU are

 

Joons_Future:

relax jimin

everything will be just fine youll see

 

Jimbles:

ok

if u say so

 

Hobi:

we know so

tbh tho, at the rate we’re going, we wont even have a song so 

 

Yoongi:

speak for urself bitch

the song is just abt finished

 

Joons_Future:

rlly?

 

IronMan:

(;゜○゜)

 

Jimbles:

seriously?

 

Yoongi:

yep. 

 

SmartHyung:

since when?

u were basically stalking hobi and me yesterday morning

 

Yoongi:

kim taehyung happened

@cuTAE

@cuTAE

 

cuTAE:

hi!

\(o⌒∇⌒o)/

 

Yoongi:

tell them abt the song

 

cuTAE:

OH yoongi hyung is so talented

the song is so amazing guys

IM SO EXCITED!!!!

 

Jimbles:

sooo

is it done or not?

 

Yoongi:

its basically finished

 

SmartHyung:

how did tht happen?

last time i checked we couldnt fit our ideas 2gether

 

Yoongi:

when taehyung came over yesterday, he saw our notes

 

cuTAE:

i really didnt do anything

 

Yoongi:

maybe not in terms of lyrics

joon n hobi, i still used the majority of lyrics we all wrote

however, as i was fiddling with the chorus tae helped me w the melody

 

cuTAE: 

hyung stop

(〃▽〃) i didnt rlly do anything

 

Joons_Future:

i love me a modest man

 

SmartHyung:

im modest

 

IronMan:

if u have to point it out then i dnt think its true

 

Joons_Future:

ty kookie

 

IronMan:

( ̄^ ̄)ゞ

 

Yoongi:

shut up losers i was talking!!!!!!

texting*

 

Hobi:

( ⊙ ʖ̯ ⊙ )

 

Yoongi:

i heard this humming and at first i was abt to be like ‘boi gtfo dnt u see me doing something?’

but then i started listening and i realized tht ‘oh shit tht actually sounds pretty fking good’

 

Joons_Future:

oh yea tae hums all the time

he bursts out in song randomly too

 

Hobi:

but he said he cant sing smh

 

cuTAE:

i just love music ig

 

Jimbles:

perfect for our group of friends

 

Yoongi:

BITCHES I WAS STILL TALKING

 

Joons_Future:

OK GODDAMN WHAT

 

Yoongi:

im ordering everyone over to our apartment 2night so u can listen to the song

 

Jimbles:

the way my schedule is set up im not coming

 

Hobi:

hows ur schedule set up?

 

Jimbles:

its full of sleep

 

Joons_Future:

jimin stop joking all the time

 

Jimbles:

( )Oo。.(¦q[▓▓]

 

Yoongi:

i will put hands on whoever doesnt come

 

cuTAE:

jiminie can u come pls?

 

Jimbles:

ill be there

wht time?

 

IronMan:

lol fear has no effect but tae does

 

Hobi:

true for all of us lbr

 

Jimbles:

lol

 

Yoongi:

back to me tho

 

SmartHyung:

yoongis becoming a real fixture in this gc recently

 

Hobi:

i kno its disgusting

 

IronMan:

(ᗒᗜᗕ)՛̵̖

 

Yoongi:

the demo is made up of my and taehyungs voice so after yall listen to it i will hand out ur parts and we can record the completed song

 

IronMan:

will ths be before or after dinner?

 

Joons_Future:

im ordering in

im not gonna keep slaving over a hot stove for u fat asses

 

Jimbles:

ooh take out!

 

IronMan:

thts fine w me

 

Hobi:

anything food related is fine with you

 

IronMan:

┐(´∀`)┌

im not ashamed

 

Jimbles:

rofl

 

SmartHyung:

so are we recording the song today or?

 

Yoongi:

heres the game plan: we will listen to the demo, we will eat, everyone will get their parts, and then we will go all night if we have to until we get it right

no excuses, no exceptions, no interruptions 

 

SmartHyung:

i have an early class tmr

 

Yoongi:

then you better get it right the first take

 

Hobi:

damn hes serious

 

cuTAE:

( ̄▽ ̄)/♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪

im ready

 

Jimbles:

me too

 

IronMan:

losers ive been singing since the womb so lets get it

 

Hobi:

ur so fucking weird

 

IronMan:

might wanna rethink tht since im currently in ur closet

i see a v specific pair of butt ugly shoes u love sm

they might end up in han river

 

Hobi:

wtf r u doing in my closet?

 

Joons_Future:

literally his entire wardrobe is currently borrowed shit

but after he spilled grape juice on my fav shirt i decided he should wear some of ur crap

 

Hobi:

wht about joonie?

 

IronMan:

yea no

he hulked out on me in the mid of my class 4 one shirt

im not touching his shit anymore

 

Hobi:

yoongi?

 

Joons_Future:

yoongis largest shirt is still too small for jungkook

 

Yoongi:

screw you

 

SmartHyung:

i think thts my job

 

Jimbles:

...

 

Hobi:

...

 

Joons_Future:

...

 

IronMan:

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

cuTAE:

?? im confused

 

Hobi:

nvm

jimins clothes then?

 

IronMan:

look do u think i wanna wear any of ur stupid clothes? i mean tbh ur fashion sense is by far the stupidest shit ive seen

 

Hobi:

(#´O`)

 

Jimbles:

clearly hasnt looked in the mirror lately

 

Joons_Future:

lmao

 

IronMan:

point is im poor n homeless n if i tell my mom shed make me go home n nobody else can or will lend me their clothes so now its ur turn

suck it up hobi

 

cuTAE:

wht size do you wear?

 

IronMan:

large

 

cuTAE:

gr8 me too

u can borrow some of my stuff

ill bring some over later

 

IronMan:

u dnt have to tae

ill just wear these ugly ass sandals n this weird furry t shirt

 

Hobi:

HEY NOT THE SHIRT

 

Joons_Future:

ew

 

cuTAE:

(^ ◕ᴥ◕ ^)

its no problem kookie 

gtg

 

Jimbles:

aaand hes gone

 

Hobi:

so get out of my closet bitch

 

IronMan:

nope

ill just stay in here n wait for ur shirt to come back to life

 

Jimbles:

BURN 

 

Hobi:

shut up jimin

 

Jimbles:

*gasp*

hobi hyung how could u?

im on ur side 98.67% of the time

 

SmartHyung:

tht was oddly specific 

 

Yoongi:

ur nostrils are oddly specific 

 

SmartHyung:

what?

 

Joons_Future:

(๑˃́ꇴ˂̀๑)

 

Hobi:

cimcf

 

Jimin:

god stop w that! it wnt catch on!

 

IronMan:

cimcf

 

Jimbles:

ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

 

Chapter Text

cuTAE:

i have gr8 news!!!

 

Yoongi:

wht is it?

 

Hobi:

its funny how last week u couldn’t stand to be in this gc cuz of tae n now ur the 1st to respond to his texts

 

Yoongi:

its funny how lil i care abt u so shut up

 

Hobi:

so rude

 

IronMan:

{*≧∀≦} lmfao

 

Joons_Future:

whts ur news taehyung?

 

cuTAE:

I MADE A NEW FRIEND

(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

 

Yoongi:

u have enough friends

 

Joons_Future:

Yoongi!

 

Yoongi:

what. 

 

SmartHyung:

congratulations taehyung

its always exciting to meet new ppl

 

cuTAE:

yea it is

i hope we’ll be best friends

 

Jimbles:

wht abt us?

 

Yoongi:

ths is why i said he had enough friends

any bum off the street could replace hobi or jungkook

 

Hobi:

( ̄□ ̄」)

 

Jungkook:

ヾ(  ̄O ̄)ツ

wtf did i even do?

 

cuTAE:

NO ur still my bestest friends

no one could ever take ur place!!!

 

Joons_Future:

idk why but a deep sense of relief just entered my heart

 

Jimbles:

me too tbh

 

Hobi:

its bc ur easily replaceable 

 

Jimbles:

somebodys in their feelings

 

SmartHyung:

guys please

all of you are easily replaceable 

you’re all pretty basic

 

IronMan:

( ̄  ̄|||)

im being attacked for existing

 

Jimbles:

we’re being attacked by u existing

 

IronMan:

凸(`0´)凸

 

Hobi:

im dying 

 

Joons_Future:

my man has perfect grammar when hes roasting peasants 

#SoInLove

 

Yoongi:

did u just hashtag in a text?

 

Jimbles:

ur surprised?

he hashtags irl

 

IronMan:

tru

 

cuTAE:

i like when he does it

in our class 2gether, the teacher said we were doing a perfect rendition of the scene n hyung called out ‘#ArtImitatingArt’

i found it so funny

 

Joons_Future:

ty taehyung

at least someone finds my humor amusing

 

cuTAE:

ヽ( ⌒o⌒)人(⌒-⌒ )v 

 

Jimbles:

hey i laugh @ ur jokes

 

Joons_Future:

most of the time its a laugh of sarcasm 

 

Jimbles:

but i still laugh

 

IronMan:

i support jimin in this

 

Joons_Future:

u r currently being housed clothed n fed by me

 

IronMan:

u right

i no longer support jimin in this

 

Jimbles:

‘HYUNG’

 

IronMan:

oh yea

i no longer support jimin in this, hyung*

 

Hobi:

cimcf

on another note, since the song is currently finished, ive begun to work out the choreo

 

SmartHyung:

ive just had a vision

 

Yoongi:

???

 

Hobi:

i was talking

 

SmartHyung:

majority of our conversations will be about the showcase from now on wont they?

 

IronMan:

most likely

 

Hobi:

we not gonna do this one 2day

yall better listen to me

 

cuTAE:

im listening hyung

(◕ᴥ◕)

 

Hobi:

why thank you

AS I WAS SAYING

ive started on the choreo n it should be done by ths weekend

we’re gonna need somewhere to practice 

 

SmartHyung:

we cant use one of the schools practice rooms?

 

Jimbles:

theyre all booked for either classes or other ppl’s showcase practice

 

Hobi:

exactly

also we r like a month late so we’d need more than a miscellaneous practice every now n then

we need somewhere we can practice freely whenever we feel like it

 

Yoongi:

how abt the basement of our apartment building?

 

Joons_Future:

naw we cant

 

IronMan:

why not?

 

Joons_Future:

i heard from the old lady a floor up tht our super was caught cheating on his wife w her sisters bff’s daughter so now hes sleeping in the basement while they go thru marriage counseling

 

SmartHyung:

seriously?

 

Yoongi:

no tht actually makes sense bc i did see him with a young red head a time or two 

 

Joons_Future:

AND U NEVER TOLD ME?!?!

 

Yoongi:

i refuse to fuel ur gossip addiction

 

Joons_Future:

thts why i have joonie

 

Jimbles:

im pretty sure namjoon hyung never has tea

 

SmartHyung:

thats why i eavesdrop on hoseok and then i just relay what i hear

for example

did u kno that lee yoo, the history major, was dating his gfs twin sister for the last two weeks?

 

IronMan:

⊙0⊙

NO

 

Jimbles:

SHE HAD A TWIN?

 

Hobi:

YEP 

n when his ex gf found out her twin sis was his new gf, they started full out brawling in the cafeteria 

her sis was banned from school grounds bc apparently her ass doesnt even go here SHES STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL

 

Joons_Future:

but isnt lee yoo’s ex gf a sophomore?

 

Hobi:

I KNOW

 

Joons_Future:

(゚艸゚;)

 

Hobi:

mmhmm tht was me 2

 

Yoongi:

wht were u doing in the cafeteria?

 

Hobi:

i found my food card n it was mexican food day

i had three tacos n a big ass cup of tea

but back to the topic, where can we practice?

 

SmartHyung:

wht abt the basement of our building?

 

Hobi:

its the laundry room joon

 

SmartHyung:

our building has a laundry room?

 

Hobi:

⋌༼ •̀ ⌂ •́ ༽⋋

where do u think all those clean clothes come from? where do you think i go every week with the big ass basket of dirty clothes?

 

SmartHyung:

u do our laundry?

 

Hobi:

(ノ-_-)ノ ~┻━┻

id do tht in reality but stupid joon broke our table

 

Joons_Future:

namjoon, its moments like ths where i question our relationship

 

SmartHyung:

lol when dont u question this relationship?

 

Joons_Future:

whenever i look at my finger n see the beautiful ring u gave me

 

SmartHyung:

aww babe

 

Yoongi:

alright lets stop the love fest b4 it fully kicks off 

focus: where will we practice? we cant practice at the school or any of our apartments

 

cuTAE:

we can practice on the roof of my building

id suggest the basement but theres a pool 

 

Hobi:

...

ur apartment building has a pool?

 

cuTAE:

no 

theres a pool in the basement, the third floor, n the roof

but im the only person who can rlly use the roof pool

 

Jimbles:

...

wait

 

IronMan:

oh no he def just said he had his own pool

 

cuTAE:

its not mine kookie im just the only person allowed to use it bc it came w my apartment 

 

Joons_Future:

putting THAT aside, if theres a pool on the roof how can we use it?

 

cuTAE:

no no hyung the roof is huge!!

The pool only takes up a portion of the roof then theres the garden n then theres a helipad

 

Yoongi:

a helipad?

 

cuTAE:

uh huh

 

SmartHyung:

wait isnt tht dangerous? any helicopter can just land there when ur in the pool

 

Yoongi:

only ud worry abt shit like tht

 

cuTAE:

the helipad came with my apartment too

no one can use it but me n i dnt have a helicopter 

 

IronMan:

ngl i was so ready for him to just announce he had a helicopter 

 

Jimbles:

i was waiting too

i always wanted to ride in one

 

IronMan:

ME TOO

jimin how did u kno?

 

Jimbles:

???

did i say you or me doofus?

 

cuTAE:

we can all go together then!!!

 

Yoongi:

i thought u said u didnt have a helicopter

 

cuTAE:

i dnt 

its not just mine it belongs to my family

i can call n have them fly it here for us some day

o(≧∇≦o)

 

Jimbles:

o(≧∇≦o)

 

IronMan:

o(≧∇≦o)

 

Joons_Future:

No.  

 

IronMan:

٩(๑`ȏ´๑)۶

 

Joons_Future:

i mean it kookie

 

Hobi:

he used a period my friend best to just let it go

SO

the roof, tae?

 

IronMan:

(╯°Д°)╯︵/(.□ . )

 

cuTAE:

OH YEA

we can practice on the helipad

it has enough space up there for all of us n we can always have a picnic in the garden after practice

i always love eating up there surrounded by the pretty flowers ✿ ✿ ✿

 

Hobi:

thts the cutest thing ive heard all day

 

Yoongi:

well u read it 

 

Hobi:

well be quiet

 

SmartHyung:

ok so we can use the helipad at your building for practice

we should also practice stage etiquette bc i dnt want us to get up there n become awkward looking

 

Yoongi:

which is u at any given moment

 

cuTAE:

ooh ooh

theres a stage at my building

 

Hobi:

where the fuck do you live bc the elevator in my building doesnt work half the time

 

IronMan:

remember tht time namjoon went in n it broke? i still randomly laugh out loud at tht

 

Jimbles:

(*≧▽≦)ノシ))

 

SmartHyung:

i told u i didnt break it

 

Joons_Future:

babe u touched the button and all the lights went out

u broke it

 

Hobi:

cimcf

 

Jimbles:

SHUT UP

 

Yoongi:

can we circle back to the important shit? yea thx

 

SmartHyung:

so theres a stage @ ur building?

 

cuTAE:

the owner of the building usually builds hotels so it has like a lounge but then he decided he wanted it to be an apartment complex but didnt want to completely gut the building so he kept the lounge room

its still fully functioning n he usually lets ppl book it for lil performances n stuff but i think if we ask, he’ll let us use it for free

 

Joons_Future:

good great free is good

 

cuTAE:

if not ill just pay

 

Hobi:

NO

 

Yoongi:

yea dnt

if he wants money, we’ll figure something out

 

IronMan:

speak for urself

 

Jimbles:

well jin is rich

 

Joons_Future:

no im high middle class maybe low high class

not dropping enough money to regularly book a lounge rich tho

 

Hobi:

it might not even be a problem considering how tae managed to convince the owner to let him paint the stairwell

 

IronMan:

oh yeah hows tht going tae?

 

cuTAE:

well rn im trying to figure out a theme for the stairwell and then i will sketch it out then me and you can paint

 

IronMan:

cool just let me know when n where

(つ▀¯▀)つ ill be there

 

cuTAE:

OK!

WAIT

 

Yoongi:

whts wrong?

 

cuTAE:

kookie do u like the clothes i gave you?

do they fit?

 

IronMan:

ohh uhh

sorry taehyung when u brought the box over i put it under jin hyungs bed and forgot all abt it

i havent gotten the chance to look at them or wear them

 

cuTAE:

oh

໒( •́ ‸ •̀ )७ thats ok

 

Hobi:

hey dnt be upset

jungkook u monster!

 

IronMan:

( _ )

 

cuTAE:

im not upset i just wanted to help

 

Yoongi:

u did help

kookie n i will look thru the clothes rn ok?

 

cuTAE:

fantastic!!!

 

IronMan:

like right now right now?

 

Yoongi:

get ur ass off tht couch n get in here or i will put chili pepper in ur body wash

 

Joons_Future:

uh thts my body wash too

 

Yoongi:

well ur abt to be burning

 

Joons_Future:

(꒪ȏ꒪;)

 

IronMan:

im here hyung damn

 

Yoongi:

good now get the box

 

IronMan:

ur right beside the bed!

 

Yoongi:

stop being so lazy

 

IronMan:

(/゚Д゚)/

 

Hobi:

im crying laughing

 

Jimbles:

i feel bad for jinnie hyung if this is how they act all the time 

 

Joons_Future:

this is one of the tamest moments between them

yesterday, yoongi put jungkook in a headlock for touching his lotion so jungkook tossed it out the window 

as it dissolved into a full blown war i just grabbed an overnight bag n went to joons place

 

SmartHyung:

i had no complaints

 

Hobi:

bitch i had plenty

 

Jimbles:

ृ₍⁺ꇴ⁺᷅ ृ₎₎ ՞

 

IronMan:

tae omf

 

Hobi:

whats happening?

 

cuTAE:

(/(エ)\)

r they in bad condition???

i shouldve bought u new stuff

 

Yoongi:

bad condition? tae, theres a rolex in here

a GOLD rolex

 

Joons_Future:

WHAT

 

cuTAE:

i figured kookie would also want a few accessories bc i know i like accessories 

did i not give him enough stuff?

 

IronMan:

tae i think its too much

are these really hand me downs?

 

cuTAE:

i took ths stuff out my closet

are they bad quality?

 

Jimbles:

OMG dont leave us not there ppl in suspense

whts the problem?

 

Yoongi:

this box costs more than my entire life ok?

theres gucci prada tom ford marc jacobs louboutin saint laurent fucking ARMANI FENDI

IVE NEVER SEEN SM FANCY SHIT IN MY LIFE

 

Hobi:

oh damn

thats a lot of shit

 

Jimbles:

damn?

more like ‘mega ultra superpowered WTF’

n tht was powered by alternate energy sources

 

SmartHyung:

???

 

Yoongi:

and bc im truthful ill be 100% honest

i took the rolex jungkook doesn’t deserve it

 

IronMan:

(ง’̀-‘́)ง

 

cuTAE:

so do u like it?

( ° ^ ° )

 

IronMan:

yea yea i like it

thank you so fking much tae

 

cuTAE:

ur welcome

 

 

[Married]

 

Jins_Future:

whats wrong?

 

Joons_Future:

what do you mean?

 

Jins_Future:

you went quiet in the other chat

 

Joons_Future:

so smth has to be wrong? maybe im busy did u ever stop to think abt that?

 

Jins_Future:

hyung

 

Joons_Future:

what

 

Jins_Future:

whats wrong?

 

Joons_Future:

ugh its just i feel its like GOD IDK

dont u feel like we’re taking advantage of taehyung? 

 

Jins_Future:

what do you mean?

 

Joons_Future:

what i mean is i feel like a hypocrite and a fucking con artist

im supposed to be his mentor n instead im lending him out to my friends so they can use him like a fucking meal ticket

 

Jins_Future:

hyung

 

Joons_Future:

i know i know thts not what its like but thts what it feels like

n honestly if we were on the outside of this thats what it would seem like to us

i mean look at tht convenience store guy! you cant deny we all think bad abt him for taking taes shit but we’re doing the same thing!

 

Jins_Future:

well we didnt ask him for anything

 

Joons_Future:

neither did he but in the end it doesnt matter we still all feel wary of the kid for falling victim to the same thing we did

i feel like we’re bartering with taehyung his money for our friendship or something?

 

Jins_Future:

ok i want you to listen to me and listen to me carefully ok?

OK?

 

Joons_Future:

ok

 

Jins_Future:

in the past few weeks, taehyung has become a valued friend in our group and that wont change

ur a fantastic mentor and you do your best to steer taehyung on the right path but you also have to recognize your limits

taehyung is extremely altruistic and extremely rich and he seems to lack an understanding of the darker areas of this world 

thats just who he is but you always try to make sure no one tries to take advantage n we always try to make sure he doesn’t unnecessarily spends his money

and this friendship is still relatively new so we’re still working out all the quirks but as time passes, things will go better

everything will just fine

 

Joons_Future:

yea ok

im sorry for the freakout

 

Jins_Future:

im your bf who can you freak out to if not me?

besides, i understand ur fears so its ok

 

Joons_Future:

its just that hes scarily innocent and i dont want some sick freak to come into his life and turn it upside down

 

Jins_Future:

we’ll watch out for him and protect him bc hes one of us now

 

Joons_Future:

ok i love you

 

Jins_Future:

i love you too

Chapter Text

Joons_Future:

tae?

 

IronMan:

whts wrong?

 

Jimbles:

SOMETHINGS WRONG!!!

 

Yoongi:

what happened to Taehyung?

 

Joons_Future:

omf SHUT UP

nothings wrong dummies

tae? u there?

 

SmartHyung:

isnt he supposed to be w you?

 

IronMan:

youre hanging out w tae? u left me @ home on the couch to go hang out with my fav buddy?!?!

 

Hobi:

damn

jimin n me out the window huh?

 

Jimbles:

y do yall keep putting me w yall?

u were never the favorite hobi hyung pls

 

Hobi:

ヽ( `0´)ノ 

 

Joons_Future:

we were supposed to go out for coffee but he didnt show up

ive been fking sitting here 4 an hour

@cuTAE

 

Hobi:

Maybe he’s busy

he probs didn’t mean to stand u up

 

Joons_Future:

idc tht he stood me up I just wanna make sure he’s ok

 

cuTAE:

I’m ok hyung

 

Joons_Future:

oh thank god

where tf r u? I was scared smth happened to u

 

cuTAE:

oh im sorry hyung

(/_\)

i was with a friend

 

Joons_Future:

wht friend?

 

cuTAE:

his name is minjoon

hes in one of my classes 

 

Jimbles:

he told us about him hyung

 

Yoongi:

barely

he didnt give a name, number, address, SSN

 

Hobi:

wtf would u need his ssn for?

 

IronMan:

we gotta make sure he not a fraud

 

Yoongi:

ty kookie

 

IronMan:

( ̄へ ̄)i got ur back hyung

 

Jimbles:

(-‸ლ)

 

SmartHyung:

ok tae next time make sure to text someone ok so we dnt worry

 

cuTAE:

im sorry

 

Joons_Future:

no no its fine

we’ll just reschedule 

 

Hobi:

how come u tryna to snatch up tae? hes all our buddy y cnt we all hang out?

 

Joons_Future:

bc im also his mentor fool 

im supposed to have mandatory meetings w him so id prefer we do them alone 

 

IronMan:

i firgot u were his mentor

 

Jimbles:

u also forgot how to spell

 

IronMan:

well u forgot how to grow

 

Jimbles:

u forgot how to count

 

Joons_Future:

im leaving b4 they blow up my phone w this stupid shit

 


 

 

cuTAE:

ummm

hyungs?

 

IronMan:

im not ur hyung but im here

 

Hobi:

well i AM his hyung and im here

 

Joons_Future:

yes tae?

 

cuTAE:

do u think im too childish?

 

Hobi:

wdym?

 

cuTAE:

well do i use too many emojis? or make too many flower crowns? 

 

Jimbles:

who said that to u?

tae?

 

cuTAE: 

nvm i was just wondering 

 

SmartHyung:

tae, ur not too childish ok?

u express urself differently than other ppl n thats ok

 

Joons_Future:

exactly n its cute n likeable

 

IronMan:

i like the emojis

they make texting more fun

(ノ^о^)ノ

 

Jimbles:

exactly

 

Hobi:

(≧▽≦)

n i rlly fking liked my flower crowns

i thought i looked pretty damn good

 

cuTAE:

u did look v handsome hyung

 

Hobi:

( ̄∇ ̄) why thank you

 

Yoongi:

sooo who said u were too childish?

 

cuTAE:

minjoon hyung said he didnt like how i sent emojis in my texts n his other friend threw away my crown

 

IronMan:

(;゜○゜)

 

Yoongi:

whats his friends name?

 

Joons_Future:

yoongi

 

Yoongi:

i just wanna know

 

Jimbles:

i wanna know too

we’re just curious

 

Joons_Future:

mmhmm

 

cuTAE:

her name is haneul

 

Jimbles:

its a girl

 

Yoongi:

she can still catch these hands

 

SmartHyung:

yoongi hyung!

 

cuTAE:

catch ur hands for wht?

 

Joons_Future:

nothing

u wanna come over for movie night? im making my famous ramen

 

IronMan:

(っ˘ڡ˘ς)

i cnt wait

 

 cuTAE:

(-_-。) sorry i cant

minjoon hyung n i have to start our project

 

Hobi:

project?

 

cuTAE:

for art history its the class we share

 

Joons_Future:

wht about the ramen?

 

IronMan:

more for me

ԅ(¯﹃¯ԅ)

 

Jimbles:

ur such a creep

 

 

 

[YAAS]

 

Joons_Future:

ok so clearly this frienship needs to end

 

Hobi:

wtf did we do?

 

Maknae:

we gave u all of us 

 

LilMochi:

it’s probably bc ur eating everything in his fking house

 

Maknae:

SO THS IS MY FAULT???

 

Hobi:

tht does seem likely

 

Maknae:

┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ノ︵ ┻━┻

 

Jins_Future:

guys i think he meant taes friendship with this minjoon guy

 

Joons_Future:

thank you joonie 

obv dancing takes too much brain power

 

Hobi:

im offended

 

Joons_Future:

good

now, clearly this minjoon is having adverse effects on my sweet lil tae

 

Yoongi:

im about to have adverse effects on tht guys face so

 

LilMochi:

he was literally you three weeks ago

 

Yoongi:

shut ur ass up 

 

Jins_Future:

lets not bring up the past n instead focus on the future

 

Yoongi:

future: 5 mins from now, im breaking into the school n finding this guys school records so i can hunt him down n kill him

 

Hobi:

...

 

Maknae:

im down

 

LilMochi:

...

jin hyung do smth

 

Joons_Future:

yoongi relax

i see now why jungkook is the way he is

 

Maknae:

if yoongi was my father id be blessed

 

Yoongi:

damn straight

now wtf r we gonna do?

 

Jins_Future:

idk if we can do anything

 

Hobi:

wht the hell does tht mean?

the bitch threw away his flower crown

 

LilMochi:

tht was somebody else

 

Hobi:

wtvr point is we cnt just sit back and let them treat him like tht

 

Jins_Future:

look despite the obvious bad qualities this guy has shown theyre nothing we havent seen in this gc at one pont or another (yoongi)

 

Yoongi:

fuck you all

 

Jins_Future:

and taehyung is somehow still our friend

maybe wht this guy also needs is time

besides what can we say or do to stop tae from being his friend?

 

Maknae:

we could kill him

kidnap him and sell him to european traffickers 

 

Yoongi:

tht actually sounds like a good plan

 

LilMochi:

JIN HYUNG

 

Joons_Future:

guys i think namjoon is right there might not be anything we can do rn

we just have to make sure this guys not gonna hurt him in any way

 

Yoongi:

i dnt like this

 

Jins_Future:

no one likes it but we just have to grin and bear it

 

LilMochi:

for now

 

Chapter Text

Hobi:

hear ye hear ye

i would like to announce smth

 

Yoongi:

nobody cares

go to sleep

 

IronMan:

lol the sun hasnt even set yet

 

Hobi:

ty kooks so wanna hear my announcement?

 

IronMan:

no

 

Hobi:

i hate you

 

IronMan:

 (○゚ε^○)

 

Joons_Future:

what is it hobi?

 

Hobi:

nope since yall dnt wanna know im not telling you

 

SmartHyung:

i wanna hear

 

Hobi:

no u dnt

 

Jimbles:

no i dnt

 

Hobi:

see?

 

Joons_Future:

look boi i stepped away from the stove to text ur ass so u better hurry up b4 i burn ths damn food

 

IronMan:

HOBI HYUNG THINK OF THE FOOD

 

Hobi:

i hope u starve

 

IronMan:

₍₍ (̨̡ ‾᷄⌂‾᷅)̧̢ ₎₎

dnt do this to me

 

Yoongi:

then im going back to sleep

 

cuTAE:

hi everybody!!

(◕‿◕✿)

 

Jimbles:

hey tae wyd?

 

Hobi:

what about my news?

 

Joons_Future:

u snooze u lose bitch i got food on the stove

 

IronMan:

thank goodness 

(ノ~3~)ノ

 

cuTAE:

im doing my art history project

 

SmartHyung:

what is it?

 

cuTAE:

we drew a name out of a hat n we had to write an essay on their biography and their impact in the world

n we have to choose at least five artworks n recreate them then present the differences between each artwork or choose ten artworks and do a presentation on the circumstances around each one

 

Hobi:

oh hell no

 

IronMan:

note to self: dnt take that class

EVER

 

Jimbles:

so which one are u n minjoon ssi doing?

 

cuTAE:

im going to recreate five artworks 

 

SmartHyung:

so minjoon ssi will be writing the essay?

 

cuTAE:

ummm no?

should he?

 

Hobi:

hes ur partner isnt he?

 

cuTAE:

yea but now hes my friend

 

Yoongi:

what does tht mean?

 

cuTAE:

he told me i had to do the project alone if i wanted to stay his friend

 

IronMan:

W H A T

 

SmartHyung:

hold on taehyung ok?

 

cuTAE:

(・_・ヾ sure hyung!

 

 

[YAAS]

 

Yoongi:

jin hyung!!! put the fking spatula down n get on this chat!!

@Joons_Future

 

Joons_Future:

boi what!

 

LilMochi:

that minjoon guy is manipulating taehyung!

 

Maknae:

(´ー`)σ what he said

 

Joons_Future:

what are you talking about?

 

Hobi:

just turn off the damn stove and pay attention! this is serious!

 

Joons_Future:

ok i turned it off

joon? wht are they talking about?

 

Maknae:

why namjoon hyung?

 

Joons_Hyung:

bc hes not one of the ppl freaking out

Namjoon?

 

Jins_Future:

Minjoon ssi, taes project partner, has tae doing the entirety of their project on the pretense of being taes friend

 

Joons_Future:

what!

 

Yoongi:

the lil shit

 

Hobi:

can we stop this now? i mean, hes just using taehyung! he doesnt rlly wanna be his friend

 

LilMochi:

but how? u saw his text

he rlly believes tht dude is his friend and shouldnt do the work

 

Maknae:

we have to do smth or else this will happen the rest of the year and then other ppl will do it

what type of friends we’d be if we just let other ppl use him?

 

Hobi:

but i thought we couldnt convince him bc everything that minjoon the snake did we did to him

 

Joons_Future:

yoongi* 

 

Yoongi:

hyung

 

Joons_Future:

im just saying tht there was no ‘we’

its coming back to bite u in the ass now isnt it?

 

Yoongi:

i hate you too

 

Joons_Future:

yea well

 

LilMochi:

look wtvr hobi hyungs point still stands

if we cast blame on minjoon tae could easily cast blame on US

 

Joons_Future:

well if tht happens, hed still be MY friend

 

Maknae:

hyung!

 

Joons_Future:

relax im kidding (sorta) he wont be mad (maybe) theres some way we can get him away from minjoon (probably not)

 

Yoongi:

tht wasnt nearly as reassuring as u thought it was

 

Joons_Future:

┐( ̄ヘ ̄)┌

 

Jins_Future:

babe ur not helping

n i think i have an idea

 

Maknae:

im all ears

 

LilMochi:

ur reading these 

 

Maknae:

shut up shortie

 

Jins_Future:

and the hush

anyways, we couldnt convince tae tht minjoon was bad for him w/o possibly incriminating ourselves

 

Yoongi:

omfg this is not a court case joon!

 

Jins_Future:

well ur face is a court case so

 

Maknae:

(◍˃̶ᗜ˂̶◍)ノ”

 

Jins_Future:

back to wht i was saying

we never tried to cheat off taehyung so we can tell him that cheating is not friendship 

 

LilMochi:

but wont that like hurt him?

 

Maknae:

???

 

LilMochi:

i mean we’re the only friends he has and the first one he gets outside us we’re trying to sabotage it

 

Hobi:

dude

 

Joons_Future:

its not sabotage jimin

this guy and his other friends are calling him names and making him feel insecure and now he’s probably sitting at home trying to do this big ass project while his loser ‘friend’ goes out n does whatever the hell he does

as his mentor, it is my job to steer him away from trouble and this guy is trouble

 

LilMochi:

i know that i do i just

i rlly dnt wanna hurt him

 

Jins_Future:

we know we dnt want to hurt him either

but who knows? maybe getting tae to stand up to minjoon might get him to pull a yoongi

 

Yoongi:

theres no one on this earth who can be me

except maybe jungkook

 

Maknae:

im yoongi 2.0

(+.+)(-.-)(_ _) ..zz 

 

Yoongi:

u lil shit

 

 

[Together Forever]

 

cuTAE:

guys u there?

ヾ(゚∀゚○)ツ三ヾ(●゚∀゚)ノ

i dnt seee yoouuuuu

 

Hobi:

we’re here tae

 

cuTAE:

゚*。:(人´v`*)☆゚:。*゚

 

Hobi:

cute

 

IronMan:

u say that like every other day

 

Hobi:

but never to you

 

Yoongi:

guys we’re here for something

 

IronMan:

oh right

 

Jimbles:

so do we just dive right in?

 

Hobi:

Joon?

 

Yoongi:

jfc this is harder than i thought

 

Jimbles:

right?

 

cuTAE:

whats wrong?

are u mad at me?

 

IronMan:

(〇o〇;) !!

 

cuTAE:

wht did i do?

( •᷄⌓•᷅ ) im sorry

 

Joons_Future:

nonono we are NOT mad at you ok? i promise

 

cuTAE:

oh

then whts wrong?

 

Yoongi:

minjoon is whats wrong

 

SmartHyung:

yoongi hyung!

 

Joons_Future:

yoongi!

 

Yoongi:

no! taehyung that guy is not your friend ok?

 

IronMan:

ABORT ABORT

 

Jimbles:

this was not the plan hyung!

 

Hobi:

actually i dnt think we had a plan

 

Joons_Future:

hobi shut up!

 

Hobi:

(ノ ̄д ̄)ノ

 

cuTAE:

wdym hyung? minjoon hyung is my friend

he let me hang out with him and he let me buy him stuff

 

Hobi:

omfg

 

SmartHyung:

tae wht does tht mean? what did u buy him?

 

cuTAE:

well he said he wanted new shoes and i asked what kind

 

Jimbles:

o(`□´)○

 

IronMan:

u bought him a pair of shoes?

 

cuTAE:

no he wanted five pairs and a watch

 

IronMan:

you’ve only known this guy for a week and a half!

 

Hobi:

he did as much for us like three days in

 

SmartHyung:

hyung ur not helping

 

Yoongi:

do you do anything else for him?

 

cuTAE:

well i buy him and his friends lunch everyday and sometimes they let me eat with them

and i do his homework now

 

Joons_Future:

WHAT

Taehyung this is NOT ok

 

cuTAE:

wht why?

 

Joons_Future:

that guy is not your friend ok? he is a bully and he is using you because youre rich and too nice for your own good! he should not be telling you to buy him and his stupid friends anything! 

 

cuTAE:

but i buy stuff for u guys

 

Joons_Future:

well then dont!

 

cuTAE:

but i like giving you presents 

 

SmartHyung:

taehyung if hes telling you to buy this stuff its not a present

u dnt have to buy his friendship n you definitely do not have to do his work for him

 

cuTAE:

but he says thats what friends do

 

IronMan:

im gonna storm tht class and maul this guy istg

 

Jimbles:

at this point im with you

 

Yoongi:

tae, do we ever ask you to do our work?

 

cuTAE:

no

 

Yoongi:

and do u ever ask us to do urs?

 

cuTAE:

well no

 

Yoongi:

we’re all friends tho right?

 

cuTAE:

the bestest hyung!

 

Yoongi:

exactly so why dnt you ask us to do your work?

 

cuTAE:

its mine and its my job to do it

 

Yoongi:

and minjoons work is his and it is his job to do it, right? not yours

 

cuTAE:

yea ig

 

Joons_Future:

just like that project is both of urs and you both should do it

 

cuTAE:

but he cant do it bc we’re friends now

 

Joons_Future:

tae im ur friend too does tht mean i cant be ur mentor too?

 

cuTAE:

NO! i love having u as my mentor hyung

 

Joons_Future:

i love being ur mentor too

but the point is if i can be ur friend and ur mentor then minjoon can be ur friend and ur partner 

 

cuTAE:

oh

tht makes sense hyung

 

Joons_Future:

it does dsnt it? now all u need to do is tell minjoon he has to do his own work from now on

and listen tae, its ok to give gifts but he shouldn’t ask you to buy him something everyday ok? thts not fair to you

 

cuTAE:

ok hyung ill tell him

 

Hobi:

good thts gr8

soooo

who wants to hear my announcement now?

 

Jimbles:

still no one u turd

 

IronMan:

(˵¯̴͒ꇴ¯̴͒˵)

 

Hobi:

i see why you hate them yoongi hyung

 

Yoongi:

i hate you too 

 

Hobi:

HEY

Chapter Text

Hobi:

its a beautiful monday morning

 

Yoongi:

its raining

 

Hobi:

indeed it is

 

IronMan:

and its freezing cold outside

 

Hobi:

correct once again

 

Jimbles:

???

 

Hobi:

my teacher has fallen sick n my only class is cancelled 

(((o(*゚▽゚*)o))) 

 

IronMan:

ヽ( ̄д ̄;)ノ

 

Yoongi:

hoseok needs all the classes he can get tbh

 

Hobi:

dnt hate bitches

 

Jimbles:

it’d be a cold day in hell before i hate on u abt ANYTHING

 

IronMan:

(ᗒᗜᗕ)՛̵̖

 

Hobi:

screw yall

 

Yoongi:

relax we’re just teasing

 

Jimbles:

(*whispers to kookie* im dead ass serious tho)

 

IronMan:

(*whispers to jimin* yea i figured lol)

 

Hobi:

so yall wanna fight now?

 

Yoongi:

now u kno how i felt

 

Hobi:

( ̄(エ) ̄) is tht necessary?

 

IronMan:

lmfao

hey hyung didnt u have some news??

 

Yoongi:

me? no

 

Hobi:

not u dummy he meant me

and yes i did jungkook THREE DAYS AGO

 

IronMan:

sooo u gonna share with the class or?

 

Jimbles:

he doesnt have class bc his teacher is sick

 

IronMan:

(* ̄▽ ̄)旦 i see wht you did there lol

 

Jimbles:

[](≧▽≦ ) thx for noticing

 

Hobi:

(o ̄∇ ̄)=◯)`ν゜)

 

Yoongi:

smh wht was ur news ‘Seok?

 

Hobi:

u dnt deserve to know now

 

Yoongi:

tell me or ill toss all ur shoes in a woodchipper

 

IronMan:

damn

 

Hobi:

fine jfc

i finished the choreography for the song

 

Jimbles:

for the showcase?!?!

 

Hobi:

(/ヘ ̄、) no jimin for the president DUH FOR THE SHOWCASE

 

Jimbles:

jeez it was just a question

 

IronMan:

he probably woke up on the floor again lol

 

Yoongi:

WHY DIDNT YOU SAY SOMETHING??!!

 

IronMan:

lol tht perfect grammar tho

but yea why didnt u say anything?

 

Hobi:

ヾ( ̄◇ ̄)ノ excuse me i tried but yall tossed my ass to the side 

 

Jimbles:

metaphorically bc no one would try to lift ur big head ass up

 

IronMan:

cimcf jimin is a savage ths morn

 

Jimbles:

⊂(▀¯▀⊂) why thank you

 

Hobi:

凸( ̄ヘ ̄)

 

Yoongi:

bs aside for a moment thx, is the choreo completely done? like we can practice any time done?

 

Hobi:

yes hyung its completely finished all we need to do now is practice

 

Yoongi:

ok cool

 

IronMan:

~(‾⌣‾~) ♪ ♬ 

 

SmartHyung:

good morning 

 

Yoongi:

goodbye

 

IronMan:

wht did the lil ones eat ths morning???

 

Jimbles:

ur life force bitch

 

IronMan:

(〇_〇) can u rlly do tht?

 

Hobi:

(  ̄ー ̄) how did we become friends with him?

 

SmartHyung:

bad luck and befriending his old babysitter

 

Yoongi:

we made bad choices

 

IronMan:

HEY

 

Jimbles:

i was not his babysitter

his mom just paid me ten thousand won a week to hang out w him bc he had no friends

 

IronMan:

(*゚ロ゚) seriously???

 

Jimbles:

u never knew tht??

 

IronMan:

...

 

SmartHyung:

i think he’s going thru an existential crisis rn lol

 

Hobi:

i would too if i just found out my mom hired me friends

 

Jimbles:

i was not HIRED ok? he would follow me around bc i danced too but i never talked to him but then his mom noticed and offered to pay me to talk to him

 

SmartHyung:

...tht sounds like you were hired

 

Yoongi:

i agree

 

Jimbles:

i stopped taking the money like a year in so

 

IronMan:

THE FIRST YEAR OF OUR FRIENDSHIP WAS FRAUD

 

Hobi:

aaand hes back

 

IronMan:

i CANNOT believe this

i dnt know which way is up or where i am

 

Yoongi:

up is up stupid and where you at better be class

 

IronMan:

...

right

 

SmartHyung:

Jeon Jungkook

 

IronMan:

hyung chill i dnt even have class today

 

Jimbles:

yes you do

 

IronMan:

(fuck u jimin) haha no i dnt

 

SmartHyung:

you do know jin hyung will get you right?

 

IronMan:

he’d have to find me first

 

Hobi:

oh dear god give him brains

 

IronMan:

???

 

Yoongi:

u live with us dummy

 

IronMan:

oh shit u right

 

Jimbles:

(/ヘ ̄、)

 

SmartHyung:

this might be why your mom thought to buy you a friend

 

IronMan:

low blow hyung

 

Hobi:

u didnt even kno tht was a blow until ten texts ago

 

IronMan:

well now i know and it is a sensitive issue

 

Jimbles:

wtvr stupid

 

IronMan:

i dnt like sassy jimin when its directed at me

usually its at hobi hyung

 

Jimbles:

yea well ( ˘ ³˘)♡

 

Hobi:

haha loser

 

Joons_Future:

has anyone heard from taehyung?

 

Jimbles:

uh no

 

Hobi:

i thought u had class with him today

 

Joons_Future:

i just got out of class 

he wasn’t there he never showed up

 

Yoongi:

WHAT

 

IronMan:

maybe he overslept or decided to skip class

 

Jimbles:

has anyone talked to him since Friday?

 

SmartHyung:

you mean when we tore apart his friendship with that kid minjoon? 

 

Hobi:

u think hes mad at us?

 

Yoongi:

why would he be mad? he seemed fine when we texted him

 

Hobi:

well it wasnt like we saw his face ok? just bc he SEEMED fine doesnt mean he WAS fine

 

SmartHyung:

guys i dnt think hes mad at us

 

IronMan:

hyung has a point

taehyung never seems to get mad i mean he never popped off on yoongi hyungs rude ass

 

Yoongi:

ok the next person who talks about that will be shanked to death

 

IronMan:

(゚Д゚;)

 

Jimbles:

so should we do something?

 

Joons_Future:

hobi where r you?

 

Hobi:

uh at home

 

Joons_Future:

ok good

im almost there meet me in the front w ur car

 

SmartHyung:

what are u doing?

 

Joons_Future:

tae gave me his address when we first met

hobi and i are going to his place to check on him

 

IronMan:

i wanna go!

 

Joons_Future:

u dnt have a car and i dnt have time to wait for u sorry

 

IronMan:

fuck life

_ノ乙(、ン、)_ TAKE ME FROM THIS WORLD

 

SmartHyung:

moments like this i regret meeting jimin

 

Jimbles:

moments like this i regret taking his moms money and subjecting myself to his presence

 

IronMan:

W O W

 

Jimbles:

♡♡♡

 

IronMan:

i dnt accept 

 

Jimbles:

u have no choice

 

Yoongi:

soo are we just gonna sit around until hobis slow ass get to taes place?

 

IronMan:

i am offended on hyungs behalf

 

Jimbles:

me too

 

SmartHyung:

theres not much we can do hyung

 

Yoongi:

idc we should do smth

 

Jimbles:

hey najoonie hyung did u read all the texts u missed?

 

IronMan:

najoonie? n here i thought his name had a ‘m’ somewhere in there

 

Jimbles:

( ︶︿︶)_╭∩╮

 

SmartHyung:

no i didnt jimin

 

Jimbles:

oh well cool

hoseok hyung finished making the choreography 

 

SmartHyung:

for what?

 

Yoongi:

ur all idiots

for the showcase joon

 

IronMan:

i am now offended for myself n hobi hyung

 

Jimbles:

not namjoon hyung?

 

IronMan:

meh he IS a lil slow on the uptake

 

SmartHyung:

arent u the pot calling the kettle black

 

IronMan:

wht does tht mean?

 

Jimbles:

wtf

 

Yoongi:

idk why yall even talk to the boy

 

IronMan:

i up our attractiveness as a whole

 

Yoongi:

u right 

with someone like namjoon we need you

 

SmartHyung:

umm no

 

Jimbles:

╭( ・ㅂ・)و stand ur ground hyung

 

SmartHyung:

considering im the one with a bf yoongi might be the one whos bringing down ths group

 

Yoongi:

maybe its possible

 

IronMan:

i dnt think so bc i can list five guys off the top of my head tht want hyung rn

 

Yoongi:

who? do i know any of them?

 

SmartHyung:

the only ppl u rlly know r in this gc

 

Yoongi: 

like i said do i know any of them?

 

Jimbles:

...hmmm

ur tryna see if hobi hyung likes u arent you?

 

IronMan:

)Д⊙`) 

 

Yoongi:

what? no im not!

 

IronMan:

*gasp* you ARE!

you like hobi hyung

 

Yoongi:

no i dnt i was just asking

joon back me up

 

SmartHyung:

he likes hoseok hyung

 

Yoongi:

(¬_¬)ノ ok bye now

 

Jimbles:

HE USED AN EMOJI

 

IronMan:

HOBI LOVE CONFIRMED

 

Yoongi:

i hate all of u

especially u kim fking namjoon

he will be able to read these asshole

 

SmartHyung:

( ̄- ̄) im not sorry

 

IronMan:

cimcf

 

Jimbles:

dnt do tht shit kookie

 

IronMan:

give me 3.66 million won and ill stop

 

Jimbles:

WHAT

 

SmartHyung:

if im correct, thats the price his mom paid you times every day in a leap year

 

Jimbles:

i said every week! and u dnt even kno if it was a leap year!

 

IronMan:

but i hung out with u everyday! and i added an extra day just in case!

 

Jimbles:

no

at most i owe u 520 thou won n even then, the first year was a real struggle for me

 

IronMan:

HOW DARE YOU! i am a delight to be around

 

Yoongi:

tht sounds false

 

SmartHyung:

i have to agree w hyung

 

IronMan:

ヽ( ・∀・)ノ┌┛Σ(ノ `Д´)ノ

 

Hobi:

OH MY GOD

 

IronMan:

hey they deserved it hyung i swear!

 

Yoongi:

shut up kookie

whats wrong hobi?

 

SmartHyung:

???

Hoseok? Seokjin?

 

IronMan:

do u think something is wrong with tae?

 

Jimbles:

dnt say tht jungkook!

 

IronMan:

i was just asking!

 

Yoongi:

@Hobi

@Joons_Future

someone better say something 

 

Joons_Future:

im beating his ass

 

IronMan:

???who???

hyung?

 

Yoongi:

ok wtf is going on?! Hobi!

 

Hobi:

hyung just stole my car!

 

SmartHyung:

what! 

 

Jimbles:

ok everybody slow down w the texts

hobi hyung wht happened? wheres tae?

 

Hobi:

im with him in his apartment 

 

cuTAE:

dnt tell them hyung pls

 

IronMan:

TAE!!!

 

Hobi:

ur face taehyung!

 

SmartHyung:

his face? whts wrong w his face?

 

cuTAE:

its not tht bad

 

Hobi:

NOT THT BAD?

 

Yoongi:

someone better explain wht happened b4 i rlly get pissed off

 

Hobi:

tae

 

cuTAE:

hyung...

 

Hobi:

fking minjoon beat up taehyung!

 

Jimbles: 

WHAT

 

cuTAE:

thts not wht happened!

 

Yoongi:

hes dead

 

cuTAE:

HYUNG! he didnt beat me up!

 

IronMan:

ok ok ok

just tell us wht happened

 

cuTAE:

i went to minjoon hyungs dorm n told him i couldnt do all the work anymore like u told me to

he said we were friends n i told him friends can still work together

 

SmartHyung:

ok thts good but hobi said smth about ur face

 

Hobi:

listen, it gets better

 

cuTAE:

when i told him he got rlly mad n pushed me n called me stupid

but im not stupid hyung!

 

Yoongi:

no ur not

 

cuTAE:

i started to cry bc im not stupid n he hit me in my face then he told me we couldnt be friends anymore bc i was a baby

 

IronMan:

r u ok?

 

cuTAE:

im fine

 

Hobi:

half of ur face is purple taehyung!

 

cuTAE:

it doesn’t even hurt tht bad hyung i promise

 

Yoongi:

fuck tht

tht guys done

 

SmartHyung:

yoongi? yoongi!

 

Jimbles:

hes gone hyung

 

SmartHyung:

omg hes gonna get expelled

 

IronMan:

well then so am i

 

Jimbles:

jungkook!

 

IronMan:

he fking hit tae! hes lucky i dnt know wht he looks like or hed find out how good i am at taekwondo!

 

SmartHyung:

youre right!

 

IronMan:

what?

 

SmartHyung:

neither jin or yoongi hyung know wht minjoon look like either

 

Hobi:

yoongi hyung might not but jin hyung def knows wht minjoon looks like

 

Jimbles:

how the hell did tht happen?

 

Hobi:

he asked tae if he had a pic of him n tae showed him a selfie they took together

im pretty sure tht bastards face is burned into hyungs brain

 

IronMan:

hey tae, send me tht photo

 

Jimbles:

tae NO

 

cuTAE:

i dnt want to get anyone in trouble

 

IronMan:

taehyung minjoon deserves wtvr hyungs decide to do to him

 

Jimbles:

jeon jungkook!

 

IronMan:

its the TRUTH! he hit him for no reason!

 

cuTAE:

he only hit me bc i made him mad

i didnt mean it

 

Hobi:

woah woah woah

stop tht shit right there

 

SmartHyung:

thts not true taehyung

 

cuTAE:

but it is

hed still be my friend if i did the work n left him alone abt it

 

Jimbles:

taehyung i want u to read this text very carefully ok?

minjoon is a terrible friend to have and no matter what you did you did not deserve to be hit by him or anyone do you understand?

 

cuTAE:

i think so

 

IronMan:

and this is why i need tht pic

 

SmartHyung:

kook no

 

Hobi:

im with jungkook

i hope they fuck his ass up

teach him a lesson he wnt forget

 

Yoongi:

consider ur wish granted

 

cuTAE:

hyung! ur back!

 

Yoongi:

hey tae

are u ok?

 

cuTAE:

im ok but my head hurts

 

Hobi:

how abt u go lie down ok?

 

cuTAE:

ull stay right?

 

Hobi:

ofc

 

cuTAE:

ok bye 

 

Yoongi:

bye tae

 

SmartHyung:

hyung wht did u do?

 

Yoongi:

nothing worse than ur bf did

 

Joons_Future:

hello all

everything is right in the world now 

 

Hobi:

wht did u guys do?

 

Jimbles:

maybe we should switch over to the old gc

 

IronMan:

what why?

 

Jimbles:

taes going to sleep so we shouldnt blow up his phone with texts abt how hyungs beat the shit out of his ex friend

hes probably traumatized

 

Joons_Future:

ur right jimin

switch over bitches

 

 

[YAAS]

 

Joons_Future has renamed the chat Just Desserts 

 

LilMochi:

ok so wht happened?

 

Yoongi:

well u know how i joked (kinda) tht i was gonna break into the school n find minjoons records so i could rearrange his face?

 

Hobi:

yes?

 

Yoongi:

well it wasnt a joke i did it last friday

well sorta

 

Jins_Future:

wait what

 

Joons_Future:

you did WHAT

 

Maknae:

i rlly wish yoongi was my father

 

Yoongi:

i said sorta

i only had a seven minute window n i didnt even know tht kids fking last name so instead i stole taehyungs class schedule, found his art history class, stole the itinerary for that and found minjoons name

unfortunately there are a total of three minjoons in tht class like wtf

so i stole all three of their files n skedaddled

 

Hobi:

(´〇`)

 

LilMochi:

how did tht help u?

 

Yoongi:

luckily all three of the dummies lived in the same building so i went to their dorms

i planned on beating the shit out of all three of them to make sure i got the right one

 

Jins_Future:

but then two of them wouldnt have deserved it

 

Yoongi:

im sure they did something b4 to warrant an ass whooping 

 

Maknae:

tht makes sense

 

Joons_Future:

smh

 

Yoongi:

it didnt matter tho bc when i got to the building i found jin hyung n he showed me the guys ugly face

 

Joons_Future:

he honestly wasnt even ugly

 

Yoongi:

he is now

 

Jins_Future:

should i be jealous? 

 

Yoongi:

possibly

 

Joons_Future:

no he was no kim namjoon

 

LilMochi:

( ̄◇ ̄;) pls cease n desist thx

 

Joons_Future:

anyways, after tht we went door to door until we found him chilling in his room eating chips 

like he didnt touch my tae baby!

so we fucked him up

 

Maknae:

like on a scale of one to ten? one being its “barely a scratch” and ten being “hes crashing! CLEAR!”

 

Hobi:

...

 

Yoongi:

id say a solid seven

 

Joons_Future:

maybe a 7.5

oh and we took all his shoes and jewelry

 

Jins_Future:

ok WHY

 

Yoongi:

taehyung said he bought tht punk some shoes and a watch but i didnt feel like going thru his shit and honestly hes trash so

 

Hobi:

so?

 

Yoongi:

so we took it all

 

LilMochi:

tbh he deserved all of it

good job hyungs

 

Maknae:

jin hyung u should dump namjoon hyung and go with yoongi hyung

then ud be the parents i deserve

 

Jins_Future:

HEY!!

 

Joons_Future:

i see ur point

 

Jins_Future:

ಠ⌣ಠ

Chapter Text

Hobi:

hyung when r u coming to pick me up?

 

IronMan:

wht u talking abt?

 

Hobi:

i have a total of two hyungs in ths gc n neither of them are you

 

Jimbles:

wht you want boi

 

Hobi:

not you either!

 

Yoongi:

someone rang?

 

Hobi:

hey hyung!

 

IronMan:

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

jimin ssi u see wht i see?

 

Jimbles:

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

why yes i do

 

Hobi:

???

 

Yoongi:

i will erase ur existence u lil tools

hobi u needed smth?

 

Hobi:

oh yea MY CAR

JIN HYUNG!!!!

 

Joons_Future:

wtf u want? i am a lil busy

 

IronMan:

doing?

 

Joons_Future:

more like getting done

 

IronMan:

...

 

Yoongi:

...

 

Hobi:

WHAT

 

Joons_Future:

im with joon now wht u want

 

Jimbles:

disgusting

 

Hobi:

wht do i want? hmm oh i dnt maybe i guess oh yeah right TO GO HOME

 

Yoongi:

???

 

Hobi:

u ppl forgot abt me!

n jin left me here for a booty call! at my house!

 

SmartHyung:

sorry hyung but he came over all bloody n sweaty n it did things to me

 

IronMan:

dear god WHY

 

Jimbles:

(*′Д`)σ heaTHens!!!!

 

Hobi:

yea yea gr8 fantastic EXCEPT im still @ taes place n its nearing my bedtime n i have class tmr

 

Jimbles:

oh right u r over there

 

Hobi:

gee thx for remembering 

 

Jimbles:

wheres tae? how is he?

 

Hobi:

wow so nobody cares

 

IronMan:

well not abt YOU 

 

Yoongi:

i care

 

SmartHyung:

oh do you now? hmm

 

IronMan:

interesting 

 

Jimbles:

very interesting indeed

 

Joons_Future:

wht?

 

Hobi:

im confused too

 

Yoongi:

NOTHING

hey jin hyung did you know hobi finished the choreo?

 

Joons_Future:

HE DID?!!? thts fking amazing!!!

we can start practicing now

 

SmartHyung:

nice save

 

Yoongi:

shut up bitch

 

IronMan:

lmao

 

Hobi:

uh yea we can practice now

 

cuTAE:

thts great!

٩(◕‿◕。)۶

 

Hobi:

oh u scared the shit outta me

ur up now?

 

cuTAE:

hyung ive been sitting behind u for the past ten minutes?

 

Hobi:

OH MY GOD ASKLGGFT

 

cuTAE:

Hyung!

 

IronMan:

rofl i bet he passed out

 

Jimbles:

◎☆(♯××)┘

 

Hobi:

i am alive but im pretty sure my soul is in the stratosphere 

tae how r u feeling?

 

cuTAE:

i feel happy hyung

 

Hobi:

not wht i meant but ok!

 

Joons_Future:

???

 

Yoongi:

why r u happy? tht guy beat u up!

 

SmartHyung:

min yoongi

 

IronMan:

he has a point

 

cuTAE:

idk

i woke up out of my nap n my head didnt hurt anymore it stopped raining n an angel left me soup on my bedside table 

 

Hobi:

tae i left u tht soup

 

cuTAE:

oh ok

THANK YOU ANGEL HYUNG 

(っ˘з(˘⌣˘ ) ♡

 

Hobi:

my heart! ur welcome my tae baby

 

cuTAE:

(⌒▽⌒) jin hyung calls me tht too!

 

Joons_Future:

thts my nickname hobi ill fight u

 

Hobi:

but i like it!

 

Joons_Future:

idc i will go into ur room rn n throw everything that will fit out of ur window

 

IronMan:

gangster!

 

SmartHyung:

i love it when hes fierce

 

Jimbles:

gross

 

Hobi:

fine ill make my own nickname loser

 

Hobi has changed cuTAE’s name to Taeddy Bear

 

Hobi:

bc hes cute n cuddly n makes me smile

 

Taeddy Bear:

(/ε\*) i like it hyung

can i change ur name too?

 

Hobi:

go ahead

 

Taeddy Bear has changed Hobi’s name to SUNRISE

 

cuTAE:

bc ur smile brings light to the darkest days

n ur hair is bright like sunshine

 

SUNRISE:

im in love guys! dont pick me up ive found home

 

cuTAE:

\(^▽^@)ノ

 

IronMan:

hey i want a cute name too!

 

SUNRISE:

ur so damn needy

 

IronMan:

kettle blacking the pot

thts how tht goes right?

 

Yoongi:

no

 

SmartHyung:

absolutely not

wtf jungkook

 

IronMan:

whatever

tae give me a nickname 

 

Taeddy Bear:

ok! hmm

 

Taeddy Bear has changed IronMan’s name to Kookie Dough

 

Taeddy Bear:

cookie dough is one of my top five fav snacks! and ur one of my best friends kookie!

 

Kookie Dough:

u hear tht, bitches? im his fave

bow before me

 

Jimbles:

no to ur entire statement boi

tae can u give me a new name too?

 

SUNRISE:

ok everybody hop on the train u vultures

who else wants a new name? yoongi? jin? fat face namjoon?

 

SmartHyung:

ok why am i the only one getting called names?

 

SUNRISE:

shut up fat face

 

Taeddy Bear has changed Jimbles’s name to FairyFloss

 

FairyFloss:

whts fairy floss?

 

SmartHyung:

its the original name of cotton candy

it was the name for when it debuted at the 1904 world fair and it stuck until Joseph Lascaux invented a similar cotton candy machine and patented it as cotton candy in the 1920s and people stopped calling it fairy floss

its still called fairy floss in australia though now that i think abt it

 

Kookie Dough:

how do you kno tht shit?

 

Joons_Future:

watch ur mouth

 

Yoongi:

far too late hyung

 

SmartHyung:

i like cotton candy so i wanted to know all about it

 

Kookie Dough:

u must love everything then bc you sure seem to kno everything 

 

FairyFloss:

excuse me secondaries i wasnt asking u

pls shut tf up

 

Kookie Dough:

the AUTHENTICITY!

 

Joons_Future:

i think u mean audacity

 

Kookie Dough:

no hyung thts when something is genuine or real

authenticity was right

 

SUNRISE:

we never shouldve met jimin i swear

 

Yoongi:

agreed

 

FairyFloss:

ignoring 

why am i named after cotton candy tae?

 

Taeddy Bear:

well ur sweet n pretty n ur hair is the color of cotton candy

i used the original name bc u also remind me of a fairy

 

FairyFloss:

oh um thx

 

Taeddy Bear:

ur welcome pretty hyung! 

 

SmartHyung:

me now! im ready to change my name its time

 

Yoongi:

thats because one,, ur not smart and two,, ur only older than three of us

 

SUNRISE:

that is true

 

Kookie Dough:

look at all that interaction between the lil bean and the dance machine

 

FairyFloss:

yes v suspicious isnt it?

 

Yoongi:

say one more thing punks! 

 

Kookie Dough:

one more thing punks!

 

FairyFloss:

one more thing punks!

 

SmartHyung:

taehyung ur my fav dongsaeng

 

Taeddy Bear:

YAAYYY!

(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

 

Kookie Dough:

i want to be offended but then same

 

FairyFloss:

exactly wht i was abt to say

 

Taeddy Bear has changed SmartHyung’s name to Belongs_To_Jin

 

Belong_To_Jin:

what?

 

Taeddy Bear:

jin hyung texted me and told me you wanted that to be ur new name

 

Joons_Future:

TAE!

 

Taeddy Bear:

yes hyung?

 

Kookie Dough:

ヽ(  ̄д ̄;)ノ thts wht u get

 

FairyFloss:

yea u cant plot with the most innocent being on the planet

 

Joons_Future:

...i see ur point

 

Belongs_To_Jin:

and to think i ate u out earlier

OH SHIT THS IS THE WRONG CHAT

 

Joons_Future:

JOON!

 

Kookie Dough:

(´艸`)

 

SUNRISE:

☚(゚ヮ゚☚)

 

Taeddy Bear:

u took hyung out to eat? thts so romantic

 

Belongs_To_Jin:

uh yea right 

 

Taeddy Bear has changed Belongs_To_Jin’s name to Romantic

 

FairyFloss:

v undeserved u nasty

 

Joons_Future:

i found it romantic

 

Yoongi:

pure evil 

 

Taeddy Bear:

yoongi hyung! can i change ur name too?

 

Yoongi:

sorry but no

 

SUNRISE:

why not?

 

Kookie Dough:

since the dawn of time (or yoongi texting) he never changed his name

 

Joons_Future:

well except tht time during his day when tae changed his name

but tht doesnt count bc i was blackmailing yoongi to be nice

 

FairyFloss:

u didnt do a good job

 

Joons_Future:

the boi is stubborn wht can i say?

 

Kookie Dough:

hey joonie hyung whered u disappear off to?

 

Joons_Future:

after his mistext, he tossed his phone n hes curled up in the bathrooms tub

 

SUNRISE:

u just let him?

 

Joons_Future:

i told him not to drop the soap n he glared at me 

clearly not in a joking mood

his face is the color of a tomato too lol

 

FairyFloss:

ur the evilest boyfriend 

 

Joons_Future:

thx i try

 

Taeddy Bear:

so can i yoongi hyung? i have a rlly good name in mind for u

 

Yoongi:

nope

 

Taeddy Bear:

໒( •́ ‸ •̀ )७

ok hyung

 

FairyFloss:

how could u hyung

 

SUNRISE:

hes legit pouting on the couch over here

 

Kookie Dough:

i forgot u were over there

 

SUNRISE:

at the rate we’re going, im sleeping over

which isnt so bad considering his place

 

Yoongi:

is he rlly sad?

 

Taeddy Bear:

no im not sad

 

SUNRISE:

the cute lil pikachu is cuddling with sir samuel with a sad face

ur a monster yoongi hyung

 

Joons_Future:

smh

 

Yoongi:

ok FINE tae u can change my name

 

Taeddy Bear:

REALLY?

 

Yoongi:

really really

 

FairyFloss:

isnt tht from shrek?

 

SUNRISE:

i havent watched tht movie in years how would i know?

 

Taeddy Bear:

i have plenty of movies we can watch hyung! 

 

SUNRISE:

cool MOVIE NIGHT SLUMBER PARTY!!!

 

Joons_Future:

oh but he wanted to go home 

 

SUNRISE:

bitterness doesnt become u hyung

 

Yoongi:

im ready for my name change

 

Taeddy Bear:

ALRIGHTY

 

Kookie Dough:

im weirdly excited abt this

 

Taeddy Bear has changed Yoongi’s name to Ahjussi ♡

 

Kookie Dough:

BURN youve been demoted

 

SUNRISE:

Jungkook!

 

Kookie Dough:

what i do?

 

FairyFloss:

ummm

 

SUNRISE:

jin hyung do something!

 

Joons_Future:

why me?

 

FairyFloss:

ur the oldest n ur the boy’s mentor

 

Romantic:

this is true

 

Kookie Dough:

he’s back!

 

Joons_Future:

what do i say?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i thought we were friends now taehyung

 

SUNRISE:

thats wht shouldnt be said

 

Taeddy Bear:

we are hyung we’re the bestest of friends

 

Ahjussi ♡:

then why tf is my name ahjussi?

 

Romantic:

calm down yoongi

 

Kookie Dough:

so nobody else notices the heart beside his name?

 

FairyFloss:

my fellow sweet friend makes a good point

 

Kookie Dough:

why thank you my sugar buddy

 

Taeddy Bear:

im happy to call you hyung but everyone calls you yoongi hyung n i miss calling u ahjussi 

it was like a nickname just for me

 

Ahjussi ♡:

oh

 

Joons_Future:

thts actually so sweet 

 

SUNRISE:

my taeberry muffin is so cute

 

Joons_Future:

u cant have more than one nickname for him hobi

 

SUNRISE:

shut ur ass up i can have them all

 

Taeddy Bear:

do u like it yoongi hyung?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yea i do

sorry i got upset

 

Taeddy Bear:

⌒°(ᴖ◡ᴖ)°⌒ its ok ahjussi

 

Kookie Dough:

...

i kinda want my own nickname now

 

SUNRISE:

see?

too damn needy

Chapter Text

Kookie Dough:

i hereby commence a dad-off

 

Joons_Future:

wht the hell r u talking abt lil boi?

 

Kookie Dough:

hello hyung

 

Joons_Future:

dnt ‘hello hyung’ me its almost midnight

u better go to sleep or im walking out my room and murdering u

 

Kookie Dough:

i call ur bluff

im too cute to kill and ur too comfortable to get outta bed

 

Joons_Future:

...tru

i wnt make breakfast tmr

 

Kookie Dough:

good night hyung

 

Joons_Future:

gn kook

 


 

 

SUNRISE:

whts this about a dad-off?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

why would u ask? now the boys gonna waste probably an hour of all our lives

 

FairyFloss:

who says hes even up? he might still be asleep

 

Kookie Dough:

why im glad u asked my talented friend

 

Ahjussi ♡:

damn it

 

SUNRISE:

sorry not sorry

what is this?

 

Kookie Dough:

now it is a known fact among us that namjin is our parental figures in this chat 

 

Taeddy Bear:

Namjin?

 

FairyFloss:

its namjoon hyungs name mixed with jin hyungs name

 

Taeddy Bear:

thts so cool! i wnt one!

 

FairyFloss:

u and me can be taemin then

 

Taeddy Bear:

!!! i love it!!!!

♡✧。 (⋈◍>◡<◍)。✧♡

 

FairyFloss:

um good cool awesome

 

Kookie Dough:

that’ll be discussed later 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

most definitely park jimin

 

Kookie Dough:

anyways like i said its an accepted norm that kim namjoon is the dorky dad n kim seokjin is the mom-not-mom whos everything anyone can want in a parental figure n yoongi hyung is that uncle thats always there but never wants to watch the kids n helps when its ass whooping time

 

SUNRISE:

accurate

 

Kookie Dough:

however recent evidence has come to light that it is possible jin hyung had an affair

 

Joons_Future:

wtf r u talking abt

 

FairyFloss:

i find it suspicious he just pop up as soon as an affair was mentioned

 

Taeddy Bear:

hi hyung! did u sleep well?

 

Joons_Future:

hello tae baby! id have slept better if u were my only friend

 

Ahjussi ♡:

wow

 

SUNRISE:

yea im offended af bc i didnt do anything 

 

Joons_Future:

u encouraged the family black sheep

 

SUNRISE:

how did i encourage jimin?

 

FairyFloss:

ur more likely to be the black sheep than me

lets make that clear first of all

 

Kookie Dough:

H U S H

resident baa baa was talking

anywho, it was not until now that i realized it is possible (and very plausible) that yoongi hyung is my real father

 

FairyFloss:

that would make u only my half brother

good

 

Kookie Dough:

HEY

so, i decided both yoongi and namjoon should defend their position as my (non)biological father n jin hyungs mac daddy

 

SUNRISE:

u need to stop watching youtube

 

Taeddy Bear:

whats a mac daddy?

 

Joons_Future:

a special computer

jungkook, this is wht runs through your mind in the mornings?

 

Kookie Dough:

no

this ran thru my head last night but u threatened me into silence

exhibit A

 

Ahjussi ♡:

wait so i have to defend the fact tht im ur father?

 

Kookie Dough:

yeppers

 

Ahjussi ♡:

pass

 

FairyFloss:

lol

 

Kookie Dough:

i see...

taehyung would u like to be my full bro? jimin can kiss my ass

 

FairyFloss:

consider it kissed bc good riddance 

 

Taeddy Bear:

sure kookie ill be ur full brother!

 

Kookie Dough:

good

being my father makes you taes father too

 

Ahjussi ♡:

1.) you live in my house

2.) i encourage ur violence

3.) we dress alike

jeon jungkook, i am ur father 

 

Joons_Future:

ur really gonna participate in this?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

kim taehyung is worth being ur husband and being jungkooks father

 

Joons_Future:

uh bitch being my husband is a plus in itself

dont play with me

 

FairyFloss:

(^ワ^=)

 

Kookie Dough:

decent points but nothing truly convincing

papa joon, where u at?

 

Joons_Future:

how many times have i told u ppl? he has an early class 2day

 

Romantic:

im here

 

Joons_Future:

wtf

i thought u were in class

 

Romantic:

i am

my teacher said we’re doing a psychology experiment (bs, she just lazy) she said it was a free period where we can do whatever but then we have to write an analysis abt what we did with free time reflects who we are

i was gonna study but then i saw yoongi trying to slide into my rightful place as Kim Mac Daddy

 

SUNRISE:

pls stop with the mac daddy

 

FairyFloss:

so instead of studying ur gonna defend ur title as group padre? how will that give u a good analysis 

 

Romantic:

ill say tht it reflects how im family oriented and sure in my position in life

 

Joons_Future:

sounds like a bowl of bs but hey its ur grade babe

 

Kookie Dough:

wht makes u a good dad for me hyung?

 

Romantic:

one,, i help you with ur homework 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

sounds fake

 

Kookie Dough:

tbh joonie hyung is the only reason im passing my math clas rn

 

Romantic:

<(  ̄ ≧ ̄)> 

 

Joons_Future:

tht means zilch cuz ur barely passing 

 

Kookie Dough:

u want ur position to be open too?

 

Joons_Future:

go ahead but then ill be forced to stop feeding u, housing u, clothing u, and not killing u

n i dnt know anyone else here who can deal with u like i can

 

SUNRISE:

100% true

 

Kookie Dough:

...i love you seokjin hyung

 

Joons_Future:

thts wht i thought 

 

Romantic:

babe ur not gonna advocate for me?

 

Joons_Future:

would u look at that im suddenly blind

 

Ahjussi ♡:

<(  ̄ ≧ ̄)>

 

SUNRISE:

so petty

 

Ahjussi ♡:

thx i try

jungkook, you live in my house n we share a similar personality

n i look better than namjoon

 

Romantic:

whoa there

lying is not permitted

 

Ahjussi ♡:

whos lying?

 

SUNRISE:

911 id like to report a fire

my friend namjoon just got BURNED

 

FairyFloss:

OHHH

 

Romantic:

i thought u guys would be on my side

 

FairyFloss:

im on any side tht gets jungkook away from me

sorry hyung

 

Ahjussi ♡:

thx jimin

 

SUNRISE:

i take no sides i just like to create chaos

im an agent of chaos

 

Taeddy Bear:

hyung and i watched the dark knight last night

it was amazing!

 

SUNRISE:

can u believe the lil tae has never seen tht movie before?

 

Joons_Future:

really? 10/10 would smash christian bale

 

SUNRISE:

100%

 

Romantic:

i will fight u kim seokjin

 

Taeddy Bear:

why would u hit him? i like batman

 

FairyFloss:

so cute n innocent

fun fact, back in tenth grade, i caught JK pulling one off to ironman

 

Kookie Dough:

JIMIN

 

Ahjussi ♡:

wtf

 

Joons_Future:

im crying rofl

 

Taeddy Bear:

he pulled what off?

 

SUNRISE:

SRSLY?!

 

Kookie Dough:

i hereby suspend the dad-off

the dna test is in the results are inconclusive 

goodbye 

Chapter Text

SUNRISE:

alrite now, weve allowed jungkook enough time to grieve so on to more important stuff

we need to start practicing the choreo n everything

hello HELLO!

 

Taeddy Bear:

good afternoon hyung! 

(*⌒▽⌒)ノ

 

SUNRISE:

ofc my tae is here first

my one true friend

 

FairyFloss:

bye then

 

Taeddy Bear:

Jiminie! Hi!

 

FairyFloss:

hey tae!

 

SUNRISE:

wheres my hey?

 

FairyFloss:

at a farm somewhere

 

Joons_Future:

i tripped over my feet @ tht

good one jimin

 

FairyFloss:

i aim to please

 

SUNRISE:

not wht ur last boyfriend thought so

ANYWHO

is everybody available to practice? 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

im available 

 

Taeddy Bear:

me too

 

FairyFloss:

as am i

 

Joons_Future:

everybody is free

 

SUNRISE:

ok good!

tae is it cool if we practice today?

 

Taeddy Bear:

absolutely hyung

its a nice sunny day so the hangar should be dry

 

FairyFloss:

like jungkooks instagram

 

Kookie Dough:

and ur scalp bitch

 

Taeddy Bear:

hey kookie! 

 

Kookie Dough:

hello my full brother

 

Joons_Future:

pls dnt restart tht shit

 

Ahjussi ♡:

taehyung, how come i wasnt greeted like those other losers

 

FairyFloss:

rude

 

Ahjussi ♡:

tough shit

 

Taeddy Bear:

oh right sorry hyung

good afternoon ahjussi! did u have a good day?

ヽ(♡‿♡)ノ

 

Ahjussi ♡:

hello taehyung i had a good day how are you?

 

Taeddy Bear:

fine

my face is sore but the swelling went down and since i didnt have a chance to make flower crowns yesterday i made a few 

you can have one if u wnt!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

id love a flower crown thx tae

 

Taeddy Bear:

no problem ahjussi ( ^◡^)っ

 

SUNRISE:

while very cute informative and jealousy-inspiring we have more pressing matters rn

can we all meet at taehyungs at five?

where the hell is namjoon?!

 

Romantic:

im here ive been reading them the entire time

 

SUNRISE:

ok so five? is five good?

 

Taeddy Bear:

thts gr8

 

FairyFloss:

thts acceptable

 

Kookie Dough:

im with jin hyung so idk

 

Joons_Future:

smh we’re on our way

 

Taeddy Bear:

ok when u get to my building, there will be a man at the desk who will ask where ur going just tell him the top floor then say magenta turtles and he’ll give u a keycard

itll help u on the elevator 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

umm ok

 

Joons_Future:

dnt worry the card is just to swipe in the elevator so you can push the button for his floor

 

SUNRISE:

just dnt lose it

the desk guy almost hunted us down when we were leaving ths morning 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

im just not tryna break into the damn pentagon 

 

Taeddy Bear:

if u want u can use the stairs and go all the way up to the roof

 

SUNRISE:

i strongly advise against tht bc he lives on the fourteenth floor so 

 

Kookie Dough:

sounds like a challenge who wants to make a wager

 

Joons_Future:

dear god

 

FairyFloss:

wht kind of wager?

 

Kookie Dough:

if i make it up to the roof in ten minutes, you treat me to dinner

 

Romantic:

dnt take it the boi burned thru my wallet last year when i lost against him

 

Joons_Future:

u dared him he couldnt beat u at running

the boy ran track his entire high school career

then ten seconds into the race u tripped and broke ur big toe remember?

 

Romantic:

vividly

 

FairyFloss:

hmm counter offer: if u make it up the stairs in five min ill take u out for dinner once a month for a year

 

SUNRISE:

tht sounds next level impossible

 

Kookie Dough:

for an entire year? like a 12 months 52 weeks 365-366 days year?

 

FairyFloss:

yes dummy deal?

 

Kookie Dough:

DEAL

 


 

 

Joons_Future:

im using the last bit of my energy to type this

fuck jung hoseok

 

SUNRISE:

hey! its not tht bad

 

Ahjussi ♡:

no i agree w hyung who the hell u think is gonna do all tht?

 

SUNRISE:

uh you

 

FairyFloss:

honestly it wasnt too hard

 

Joons_Future:

bitch uve been dancing since you were born dnt talk to me

 

Kookie Dough:

my thighs are BURNING

 

SUNRISE:

tht has nothing to do with the dance

its bc u ran up 14 flights of steps like a dummy 

 

Kookie Dough:

yea but now i get free food for a year

 

FairyFloss:

ugh dnt remind me

 

Taeddy Bear:

congrats kookie!

 

Kookie Dough:

thx

uhh why is namjoon looking like tht?

 

Ahjussi :

i think hes dead

 

Taeddy Bear:

REALLY?

 

FairyFloss:

hold on ill check

 

Joons_Future:

im too young to be a widow

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ur also too not married 

 

Joons_Future:

stfu

 

FairyFloss:

he breathes

 

Taeddy Bear:

ヾ(*⌒∇⌒)八(⌒∇⌒*)ツ

 

FairyFloss:

im pretty sure he fell into shock or smth

 

Kookie Dough:

he shouldve stretched

on another note, for the first practice, i think we did good

 

Joons_Future:

idk abt joon yoongi n i but taehyung looked hella good

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i concur

 

Taeddy Bear:

(ノ∀`♥) hyungs stop

i messed up too much

 

SUNRISE:

well i thought it looked good

any mistakes will be corrected in the next couple of weeks

 

Romantic:

when will we practice the song and stuff

 

Taeddy Bear:

hyungs awake!

 

Romantic:

more like alive

 

SUNRISE:

i think we should learn the dance and the song separately then we’ll practice doing them 2gether 

 

Taeddy Bear:

the owner said we can use the lounge room whenever we want

 

Kookie Dough:

i thought he booked it to ppl

 

Taeddy Bear:

he said he wnt book it for the next two months so tht i can use it whenever i want

 

Joons_Future:

this will be added to my file

 

FairyFloss:

file?

 

Joons_Future:

yes my ‘tae is a beautiful otherworldly creature sent to dominate the earth one cute smile at a time’ file

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i also have a file

its my ‘the ppl who thought they could take advantage of tae w/o facing consequences’ file

im currently looking for a drunk asshole w/ a super expensive rose ring

 

FairyFloss:

good luck w tht

 

Kookie Dough:

can i help?

 

Romantic:

NO

 

Kookie Dough:

but i wnt to beat up a tae hater

 

Romantic:

i think we’ve had enough of tht this week

 

SUNRISE:

the week just started

 

Romantic:

my point exactly

no more beating tae haters

 

Kookie Dough:

BUT!

 

Taeddy Bear:

i dnt like violence 

its scary

 

Joons_Future:

indeed it is

 

Ahjussi ♡:

do you hate violence simply on principle or bc smth happened to u b4?

 

SUNRISE:

yoongi hyung!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i wanna know

 

Taeddy Bear:

oh kookie i finished the sketches for the stairwell 

since ur here do u think we can start

 

Kookie Dough:

heck yea

i might not be a big help tho bc i have to be home by ten

 

Joons_Future:

its tae so come home when u can

 

FairyFloss:

im offended on yugyeoms behalf

 

Joons_Future:

be offended for urself bc if it was u jungkooks curfew would still be in place 

 

FairyFloss:

wow ok

 

SUNRISE:

(ಡ艸ಡ) lol

well joon and i need to roll out 

 

Romantic:

uh why?

 

SUNRISE:

its almost nine boi my show is abt to come on

 

Romantic:

and me?

 

SUNRISE:

smh im ur ride remember?

 

Romantic:

oh yea right

 

Ahjussi ♡:

let me catch a ride

 

Joons_Future:

we can take a cab

 

Ahjussi ♡:

u bring ur wallet?

 

Joons_Future:

no

 

Ahjussi ♡:

me neither

 

Joons_Future:

...

im gonna catch a ride too

 

SUNRISE:

im not a damn uber yk?

 

Joons_Future:

shut ur ass up n lets go

 

FairyFloss:

hey wht abt me?

 

Joons_Future:

find ur own damn way home

 

FairyFloss:

i dnt think ive ever been treated with such disrespect 

at least not by seokjin hyung

 

Joons_Future:

well i cnt feel my face or anything below it so idc 

 

SUNRISE:

OMFG JIMIN GET UR ASS UP

ILL TAKE U

 

FairyFloss:

fine u dnt need to have an attitude

 

SUNRISE:

no but yall need a damn car

or to give me some gas money

 

FairyFloss:

i have a ₩10,000 note if it helps

 

SUNRISE:

jimin i love u

 

FairyFloss:

s( ^ ‿ ^)-b

Chapter Text

Kookie Dough:

[image sent]

 

Joons_Future:

now wht the hell is this? such beauty

 

Taeddy Bear:

kookie n I are having such a great time hyung!

( ◠‿◠ )

 

SUNRISE:

my eyes! ive been blessed

 

Taeddy Bear:

(ノ▽〃)

 

SUNRISE:

how adorable

 

Kookie Dough:

hyung u should see the painting

so far we only did one flight but it looks amazing

taetae is a true artist

 

Taeddy Bear:

youre way better kookie

 

Kookie Dough:

no way

 

Ahjussi ♡:

when can we see it?

 

FairyFloss:

considering its our new base of operations until the showcase we can see it any time we enter the stairwell

 

Kookie Dough:

NO!

 

Taeddy Bear:

u cnt see it until its done!

 

Kookie Dough:

when its finished, tae and i will give you a tour

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yea a 14 flights of fking stairs tour

 

Joons_Future:

well i bet it’ll look beautiful when its done

however, it’s nearing two in the morning n theres school tomorrow

 

Kookie Dough:

so?

 

Joons_Future:

so go ur artistic asses to bed

 

Kookie Dough:

does this mean i can stay over?

 

Joons_Future:

if its alright with taehyung

 

FairyFloss:

im having middle school flashbacks

 

SUNRISE:

mood

 

Taeddy Bear:

sleepover!

and tmr we can wear matching outfits

 

Kookie Dough:

dude u read my mind

aight we’re outta ths bitch see ya

 

Joons_Future:

you better sleep!

 

SUNRISE:

tae didnt want to wear matching outfits with me

im jealous

 

Ahjussi ♡:

if u wore the same clothes tae would look like a teletubby was ran over revived and then brutally murdered

 

SUNRISE:

meaning?

 

FairyFloss:

ur fashion sense sucks

 

SUNRISE:

(゜ロ゜)

 


 

 

 

[Ahjussi & Tae]

 

Taeddy Bear:

ahjussi?

are u up?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

im up tae

r u ok?

 

Taeddy Bear:

yea im ok

its just tht today’s wednesday 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

Yea? 

 

Taeddy Bear:

...nvm

 

Ahjussi ♡:

hey whts wrong?

 

Taeddy Bear:

see u l8r ahjussi 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

Tae! 

Taehyung!

 

 

[Just Desserts]

 

Yoongi:

smth is wrong w tae

 

Jins_Future:

Wht?

 

Yoongi:

wheres jungkook?

 

LilMochi:

whts going on?

 

Yoongi:

I don’t know! where is JK?

 

Maknae:

right here hyung

whts wrong w tae? 

 

Yoongi:

shouldn’t u know? u slept w him n everything

 

Maknae:

he was fine ths morning

he coordinated our outfits gave me a flower crown n we went to school

he even walked me to class

 

Joons_Future:

how do u know smth is wrong?

 

Yoongi:

he texted me n asked me if I was up

then he said it was wednes but when I asked he stopped texting

 

Hobi:

Ok? Thts it?

 

Yoongi:

it was weird ok?

he never rlly texts me except to send cute lil gifs or pics

 

Joons_Future:

i know wht u mean

he sent me a pic of some otters sleeping in the mid of the ocean once n said they were together forever like we were

im almost just called joon up n dumped him

 

Jins_Future:

hey!

 

Joons_Future:

sorry taes just taking up too much space in my heart

gotta make some room

 

LilMochi:

so hes upset bc 2days wednesday?

 

Maknae:

didnt i just say he was fine ths morning?

 

Hobi:

no offense babe but ur the most oblivious guy on ths planet

 

Maknae:

the disrespect 

 

LilMochi:

OOOH

 

Joons_Future:

wht?

 

LilMochi:

its wednesday

 

Yoongi:

thts wht we’ve been saying stupid

 

LilMochi:

no hyung hush

he told us b4 tht he met minjoon in their art history class

 

Jins_Future:

ok?

 

Joons_Future:

OOOH!!

 

Maknae:

WHAT

 

LilMochi:

his art history class is on wednesdays

 

Hobi:

oooooh ok 

he doesnt want to see minjoon

 

LilMochi:

he’s probably scared

 

Yoongi:

why say smth to me?

 

Jins_Future:

well u did express tremendous fury when u found out minjoon hit him so maybe hed feel better if u were there

 

Yoongi:

but jin hyung did too? n kookie? everybody did

 

Joons_Future:

yea but we beat his ass & tae knows i have class back to back 2day so he probs doesnt wanna be a burden

so he went to the next asskicking extraordinaire 

 

Yoongi:

well he stopped answering my texts

 

Hobi:

well wht did u say?

 

Yoongi:

i asked him wht was wrong

 

Hobi:

well see there u go

no one says whts wrong when asked straight up

 

Joons_Future:

i do

 

Maknae:

thts bc u have no shame 

 

Joons_Future:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

LilMochi:

just be subtle yoongi hyung

 

Yoongi:

how?

 

LilMochi:

god ur hopeless hyung

just ask him if u can walk with him 2day or smth

say u want to hang out after class then meet him @ his class

 

Jins_Future:

thts goods advice jimin

even if u cnt go into class w him, he’ll feel better to see a friend after seeing minjoon

plus minjoon is less likely to pick at taehyung if he sees tht ur his friend

 

Joons_Future:

im pretty sure i said tht when my boot was in his face

 

Jins_Future:

well regardless

 

Yoongi:

ok uh yea ill do tht

 

Hobi:

u got this hyung

 

Maknae:

fighting!

 

 

[Ahjussi & Tae]

 

Ahjussi ♡:

hey tae

u wanna kno a secret?

 

Taeddy Bear:

a secret?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yep ill tell u

ive always wanted to learn abt art history but i never could fit it into my schedule

 

Taeddy Bear:

*gasp*

Ahjussi thts my next class!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

really? do u think i could come sit in w u for a class?

 

Taeddy Bear:

do u want to?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

sure 

n afterwards we can go get hot chocolate n sugar cookies @ the nice cafe just off campus

 

Taeddy Bear:

oh they have they best cookies hyung!!!

my art history class is in an hour and a half

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ok

meet me in front of the building @entrance A ten minutes b4 class n we’ll walk together 

 

Taeddy Bear:

ok! \(o⌒∇⌒o)/

 


 

 

Yoongi lazily stood in front of the art building, leaning against the brick wall. It was a nice sunny day but there was a nice breeze that blew past every few minutes. As people walked in and out of the building, Yoongi carefully scanned each person for either Taehyung or Minjoon. 

“Ahjussi!” a deep voice called from Yoongi’s left. Pushing off the brick wall, Yoongi turned to face a smiling Taehyung. As the younger approached with a big smile and a skip in his step, Yoongi began to see him more clearly. Taehyung was wearing a plain white shirt with a denim jacket, black jeans, and black shoes; atop his dark hair laid a flower crown adorned with pink roses, daffodils, Madonna lilies, and red amaryllis. Yoongi could see the end of his singular earring dangling on his left shoulder. In one hand was the strap of a black leather backpack and in the other hand was a folded paper bag. 

“Hey, Tae,” Yoongi replied, small smile on his lips. Despite his initial thoughts about him, Taehyung had really carved his way into Yoongi’s heart. Opening his arms, he happily received the big, tight hug from the younger. When Taehyung pulled back, Yoongi could see the distorted skin around Taehyung’s right eye. A red-hot anger boiled in the pit of Yoongi’s stomach at its sight. “Are you ok?”

Taehyung giggled happily, “Ahjussi, it’s not that bad. I barely feel it and I ice it every night before bed.”

Yoongi scowled, “Yeah, well, he never should’ve hit you.”

“It’s ok,” Taehyung said, shrugging his broad shoulders. “He just wasn’t the right friend for me. He’ll find other friends who are better suited for him.” 

Yoongi couldn’t imagine being so blasé about being hit in the face by a supposed friend. And there was no one better suited to be someone’s friend than Taehyung. Before Yoongi could deny that statement, Taehyung lifted up the paper bag in his hand and showed it to Yoongi, “Ahjussi, I got us chocolate chip muffins. I know we’re going out after this but I didn’t want either of us to go hungry in the meantime and these are super yummy.”

Deciding to keep the light atmosphere, Yoongi smiled in return. “Chocolate chip, huh? Those are my second favorite type of muffin.”

“Really?” Taehyung happily exclaimed, “Me too! My favorite muffin is something called monkey bread muffins. When I traveled to America when I was young, I had one from the bakery near the hotel every morning. I can never find them here so I usually get chocolate chip.”

“How about we look up a recipe and sneak it under Seokjin-hyung’s pillow? He’ll be too curious and probably make a few batches,” Yoongi suggested, taking the paper bag and grabbing Taehyung’s hand. Intertwining their fingers, they began their trek to Taehyung’s class. 

“Do you think that’ll work, Ahjussi?” Taehyung curiously asked, swinging their arms back and forth. 

Yoongi smirked, “How do you think I get him to make me my favorite foods? I sneak a recipe somewhere I know he’ll find it and just wait for the fruits of my efforts.”

Taehyung laughed, his eyes squeezed shut. Yoongi stared at him for a moment, mesmerized by what he saw. Taehyung was so ridiculously carefree and innocent. It was a shame the world seemed to constantly try and bring him down to everyone else’s level. Well, I won’t let anything else happen to you, Yoongi silently promised. I’ll protect you. 

Chapter Text

[Happy Feet]

 

DancePrince:

can i admit smth to u guys?

like in total confidence?

 

DanceSlave:

did u kill somebody?

 

DancePrince:

wht? NO

wait wht would ur reaction be if i did?

 

DanceSlave:

ur my bff boi

id be over there scrubbing down the scene with u

 

DancePrince:

MY BRO

 

DanceSlave:

MY BRO

 

DanceKing:

hell no

ur asses would be in jail

 

DanceSlave:

now we see who not to call

 

DanceKing:

yep now whts this abt a confession? 

 

DancePrince:

u have to promise not to tell anybody 

 

DanceSlave:

not even jin hyung?

 

DancePrince:

ESPECIALLY NOT HIM

OR YOONGI HYUNG

 

DanceKing:

the plot thickens

spill the tea jimin

 

DancePrince:

do u guys promise?

 

DanceSlave:

promise

on my Pokemon cards

 

DancePrince:

and ur new ironman collection?

 

DanceSlave:

damn it must be juicy

i promise on all tht shit

 

DanceKing:

i swear on all my clothes

 

DancePrince:

worthless

 

DanceKing:

HEY

 

DanceSlave:

swear on dance

 

DanceKing:

if i swear on dance ths tea better be something good

i swear on dance

 

DancePrince:

ok here it goes

i have a crush on tae

 

DanceKing:

boi thts it? everybody got a crush on tae! he’s the embodiment of perfection 

i just wanna squeeze him to death every time i see his cute lil smile

 

DanceSlave:

same

 

DancePrince:

no i dnt mean the ‘oh dear god hes so cute n cuddly where has he been all my life’ crush

i mean the ‘i wanna kiss him and hold him at night n love him forever where has he been all my life’ crush

 

DanceKing:

(゚Д゚;)

 

DanceSlave:

(ʘᗩʘ’)

 

DancePrince:

i kno!

 

DanceSlave:

hyungs are gonna kill u

 

DancePrince:

u swore not to tell!

 

DanceKing:

how did ths happen?!?! 

 

DancePrince:

i dnt know

 

DanceKing:

jimin!

 

DancePrince:

i kinda liked him since i first saw him

 

DanceKing:

(◯Δ◯∥)

 

DancePrince:

i mean he was like the cutest thing in texts n i thought he would be ths cuddly lil sophomore

but then i met him n hes HOT n sometimes i wanna just throw him down on a bed or smth

 

DanceSlave:

yoongi hyung is gonna demolish u

 

DancePrince:

kookie!

 

DanceKing:

my brain has malfunctioned

i dnt even kno wht to say

PARK JIMIN

 

DancePrince:

i kno!

 

DanceKing:

the ship name! you gave him a ship name in the gc!

 

DanceSlave:

taemin! 

ur so obvious jimin

 

DancePrince:

i didnt mean to! i just got so flustered n then i just typed the first thing tht popped into my head

im gonna die arent i?

 

DanceKing:

oh yea

if its not yoongi, jin is gonna stomp u out

 

DancePrince:

omfg thts not helping

 

DanceKing:

i wasnt trying to help

honestly, i kinda wanna stomp u out

 

DanceSlave:

hyung! rlly?

 

DanceKing:

what? im just saying

look its tae ok? the boy doesnt even kno wht porn is i doubt hes ever been in a relationship b4 

 

DancePrince:

oh shit ur right

wht do i do?

 

DanceSlave:

i say u woo him

 

DanceKing:

fuck no!

 

DanceSlave:

why not? jimins great

 

DanceKing:

jimin has had a total of how many intimate relationships?

 

DancePrince:

since forever or since college?

 

DanceKing:

exactly my point

i love u jimin from the deepest part of my heart but ur a hoe

 

DancePrince:

i am not!

 

DanceSlave:

ehhhh

 

DancePrince:

*gasp* kookie u too?

 

DanceSlave:

jimin u do love to bounce from one guy to another

im not saying ur a bad guy but u fall in and out of love way too quick 

 

DancePrince:

thts not true!

 

DanceKing:

u dumped tht hyuk guy 2 days b4 we met taehyung n u only dated him for a week! b4 him was tht Canadian kid n b4 him tht TA

u have a new bf like every other week

 

DancePrince:

well not recently

 

DanceKing:

ths is probably the longest uve been single since forever

n i kno u hooked up with somebody a week or so ago i heard all abt it in my dance class

 

DancePrince:

tht was different!

i was just feeling restless

 

DanceKing:

exactly 

wht happens if u manage to get taehyung to date u and u begin to feel restless again? u could totally destroy him

 

DancePrince:

but i never felt like ths b4! i feel like i should do smth

 

DanceSlave:

if thts true jimin u should wait

make sure wht ur feeling is real n then figure out if its worth risking ur friendship with him over 

 

DancePrince:

ok 

thx for the advice

 

DanceSlave:

yea just dnt let yoongi hyung kno we knew when he kills you

 

DancePrince:

oh shut up

i could totally take hyung

 

DanceSlave:

stop lying dude hyung would beat ur ass

 

DancePrince:

smh no faith

 

DanceKing:

can i also confess smth?

 

DanceSlave:

wtf

 

DanceKing:

ive been keeping ths to myself for a while but since we’re here

i have smth to confess

 

DancePrince:

if ur the one who stole my headphones ima dropkick u

 

DanceKing:

im in love with yoongi hyung!

 

DanceSlave:

...

 

DancePrince:

...

W H A T

 

DanceKing:

ever since a year ago and recently i accepted tht id never have a chance w him bc he never seemed interested but then i read the texts on monday and now idk

 

DanceSlave:

txts? what txts?

 

DanceKing:

the ones where u kept picking at yoongi for liking me

 

DancePrince:

u read those?! why did u never say anything?

 

DanceKing:

yoongi hyung seemed so embarrassed abt it so i didnt say anything but its been weighing on my mind ever since!

 

DancePrince:

youve been into him for a year?

 

DanceKing:

more or less

idk theres just so much to love abt him

whenever he does tht pouting thing he likes to do i just wanna grab him and kiss him and tell him i love him

 

DanceSlave:

_:(´□`」 ∠):_

 

DancePrince:

maybe u should actually do tht! just grab him and kiss him

 

DanceKing:

but wht if he doesnt like me back? it would completely ruin everything

 

DancePrince:

im gonna tell u guys smth n u have to promise not to tell ok?

 

DanceSlave:

so much drama

 

DanceKing:

wht?

 

DancePrince:

two months ago when u went on a date with tht guy from ur music class yoongi called me and told me he followed u on ur date

 

DanceSlave:

WTF

 

DanceKing:

why?

 

DancePrince:

beats the shit outta me

he said he didnt trust the guy n so he sat two tables away from yall the entire night n when the guy took u home and kissed u gn hyung got all upset

he said he didnt understand how this could’ve happened but when i asked him wht he meant he hung up on me

i tried to ask him abt it the next day but he completely blew me off

 

DanceSlave:

tht was when he had that horrible ass mood

 

DancePrince:

yep

until hobi hyung said he wasn’t interested in dating rn

yoongi hyung bounced right back

 

DanceKing:

why didnt he say anything?

 

DancePrince:

idk

same reason u havent?

 

DanceSlave:

or he-who-must-not-be-named

he single handedly fucked up yoongi hyungs view of the world which was already pretty bad so

 

DanceKing:

omg i forgot abt tht asshole

yoongi hyungs not ready for any relationships rn

 

DanceSlave:

ok i wouldnt go tht far

 

DancePrince:

look,, yoongi hyung wont want u to make a decision on his behalf ok? n from wht he said monday clearly hes open to smth especially from someone in our group (you) 

plus he does special little things for you he doesnt do for anyone else

if theres one person he’d be ok with dating itd be his hobi ok?

 

DanceKing:

ig

 

DancePrince:

i think the moral of todays talk is wait and see

 

DanceKing:

ur absolutely correct 

 

DanceSlave:

u ppl are hopeless

 

Chapter Text

Taehyung stood idly in front of the classroom’s door, fiddling with Yoongi’s fingers. Yoongi could tell something was weighing on him; Yoongi waited patiently for Taehyung to say what was on his mind. He didn’t. Yoongi watched as Taehyung straightened his shoulders before pulling him into the relatively empty room. In fact, the only other people in the room was the teacher and some kid in the far back. 

The teacher looked up and smiled when she saw Taehyung walking towards her. She was a middle-aged woman, shorter than even Yoongi and wisps of gray in her hair. “Oh, Taehyung-ssi, how are you?” As he got closer, she could see the bruising on his face. 

Smiling, Taehyung gave a slight bow to his teacher, “Seonsaengnim, I’m very well. This is my friend, Yoongi-hyung. He wanted to sit in on your class with me today. I hope that’s alright.”

The teacher grinned up at Taehyung before looking at Yoongi. “You have an interest in my class?” She inquired. She watched Yoongi glance at his friend, eyes lingering on his right eye before nodding and bowing at the teacher. She had a feeling art history wasn’t the true reason Taehyung brought a friend today. “Well, you’re more than welcome. Please sit. Class will start soon.”

“Thank you, seonsaengnim. Oh! I brought you something, too!” Taehyung opened his backpack and pulled out a parcel. He handed it to his teacher happily, “They’re black and white cookies. You told me before they were your favorite.”

Patting Taehyung’s hand, she chuckled. She had to refrain from cooing at the bright smile on his face. “Indeed they are. Thank you, Taehyung. You better get to your seat before someone takes it.”

Taehyung nodded before turning to his shorter friend, “Ahjussi, come on! I like to sit by the window.” 

Yoongi hummed and allowed Taehyung to pull him up the incline to the seats near the window. Sitting beside Taehyung, Yoongi silently watched as Taehyung pulled out a tablet, a notebook, and a colorful array of pens. Not needing anything for this class, Yoongi looked to his right and watched as the students trickled in and sat in their seats. Feeling a vibration in his pocket, Yoongi pulled out his phone and saw a text sent on the old group chat. 

 

 

Joons_Future:

so how is operation: taehyung support system going?

 

Yoongi:

is tht what we’re calling it now?

 

Joons_Future:

what? whts wrong with it?

 

Hobi:

the names weak hyung

 

Joons_Future:

how?

 

Maknae:

i agree with hobi hyung

i vote we change it to ‘operation: i got a glock and im not afraid to use it’

 

Yoongi:

i dnt have a glock

 

LilMochi:

JK’s option VETOED

 

Hobi:

how abt operation: guardian angel?

 

Joons_Future:

ooohh i like tht

 

Hobi:

why thank you

 

LilMochi:

whoever likes the name change say ‘aye’

aye

 

Hobi:

AYE

 

Joons_Future:

aye

namjoon, say aye

 

Jins_Future:

aye

 

Joons_Future:

thts my bby

 

Maknae:

( ̄◇ ̄;) disgusting

but aye

 

Joons_Future:

the votes are in...we won!!!!

 

Maknae:

~(˘▾˘)~

 

Hobi:

米^-^米

 

LilMochi:

✺(^▽^✺) ✺(^O^)✺ (✺^▽^)✺

 

Joons_Future:

so how is operation: guardian angel going?*

 

 

Yoongi glanced up from his phone and looked at his young charge. Taehyung was vigorously writing down notes in his notebook, periodically switching colors to underline or circle something. Yoongi could see colorful designs and side notes. His flower crown was slightly crooked on his head and his tongue was poking out the side of his mouth. Cute, Yoongi’s mind supplied. 

 

 

Yoongi:

so far so good

im with him in class

 

LilMochi:

his teacher let you?

 

Yoongi:

i think shes in love with tae

 

Hobi:

understandable 

right jk?

 

Maknae:

yep

right jimin?

 

LilMochi:

ill set u ppl on fire

 

Maknae:

\(º □ º l|l)/

 

Jins_Future:

i feel like theres a story there

 

Joons_Future:

id question it but i have a feeling it would reduce my IQ

 

Yoongi:

if tht was possible, dating namjoon wouldve made u braindead

 

Jins_Future:

im highly offended 

 

Hobi:

(*≧▽≦)ノシ))

 

Jins_Future:

im pretty sure im the smartest in this gc

 

LilMochi:

that statement would never hold under oath

 

Jins_Future:

its true!!!

 

Hobi:

lets ask ur bf?

 

Jins_Future:

fine

babe, am i super smart?

 

Joons_Future:

...

wht is ths language i cant seem to read all of a sudden?

 

Maknae:

(ᗒᗜᗕ)՛̵̖

 

Jins_Future:

*gasp*

babe how could u?

 

Yoongi:

lets face it namjoon

for a smart person, ur literally one of the dumbest ppl i know

 

Hobi:

well wht abt jungkook?

 

Maknae:

HEY

 

LilMochi:

hes more like the dumbest dumb person we all know

 

Joons_Future:

accurate

 

Maknae:

(╯°Д°)╯︵/(.□ . \)

 

Hobi:

cimcf

jimin, dnt say shit bc its here to stay

 

LilMochi:

at ths point i no longer care

bitch

 

Joons_Future:

kinda sound like u care

 

Hobi:

watch urself jimin i got ur secret in my pocket

 

Maknae:

tru

 

LilMochi:

i got urs too

 

Maknae:

also tru

 

Hobi:

my secret wont lead to my absolute destruction like urs

 

Maknae:

hobi hyung for the win

 

LilMochi:

jungkook whose side are u on?

 

Maknae:

not urs

 

Jins_Future:

lmao

 

LilMochi:

ive been disrespected by my busan bro

 

Joons_Future:

it be ur own

 

Maknae:

( ̄へ ̄) not sorry

 

Yoongi:

lol

 

Hobi:

wht are u gonna do after class w tae?

 

Yoongi:

we’re gonna go out and get hot cocoa and some cookies

 

Maknae:

oh i want some cookies!

 

Joons_Future:

no one asked wht u wanted

 

Maknae:

now tht i think abt it u owe me some cupcakes

 

LilMochi:

yea me too!

 

Hobi:

he owe us all some cupcakes

 

Joons_Future:

ill make them damn

wht are yall the food police?

 

Hobi:

tht wouldnt work out for kookie

hed be far too easy to bribe

 

Maknae:

a large pizza would do the job tbh

 

LilMochi:

dnt be any type of law enforcement ok?

 

Maknae:

why not? i think id look good in a police uniform

 

Jins_Future:

lets stop that train of thought right there

 

Hobi:

yoongi hyung, lets all go out and get a hot chocolate

 

Maknae:

it can be a group thing!

 

Yoongi:

whos paying for tht shit? i once saw jungkook eat every cookie in a bakery

im not paying for tht

 

Joons_Future:

isnt tht cannibalism? Kookie eating cookies

 

Hobi:

i was waiting for u to say tht

 

LilMochi:

back to the subject pls

why dont everybody just pay for their own stuff

 

Maknae:

im poor remember? 

 

LilMochi:

then dnt eat

 

Maknae:

(○□○)DONT EAT?!?!

 

Joons_Future:

joon and i will pay

 

Jins_Future:

wht?

 

Joons_Future:

well, other than taehyung i have the most money in the group and im the oldest so i should pay

 

Jins_Future:

then why was my name thrown in there?

 

Joons_Future:

bc ur my boyfriend and if u think im gonna pay for everybody by myself and still give u sex u got another thing coming

 

Hobi:

what will kim namjoon choose? 

 

Jins_Future:

jin hyung and i will pay

 

LilMochi:

smh no spine

 

Maknae:

i guess even the brainiacs think with their dicks

 

Hobi:

rofl

 

Yoongi:

sooo?

 

LilMochi:

ask tae if its ok if we all tag along

 

Maknae:

why wouldnt it be ok?

 

Jins_Future:

he couldve just wanted to hang out with yoongi

 

Joons_Future:

who’d want to do tht?

 

LilMochi:

i can think of a person

 

Maknae:

what a coincidence me too

 

LilMochi:

ψ(`∇´)ψ

 

Maknae:

ψ(`∇´)ψ

 

Hobi:

stfu

yoongi hyung, ask tae if we can tag along

 

Yoongi:

ok

 

 

“Hey, Tae, what do you say we—“ Yoongi looked up from his phone to whisper to Taehyung. He froze mid-sentence. Taehyung was hunched over in his seat, tear tracks on his cheeks. His lower lip wobbled constantly and Yoongi saw fresh tears fall from his eyelids. “Tae, what’s wrong?”

Then he heard it. The whispers. Behind them, Yoongi could hear a group of students talking. Sitting back in his chair, Yoongi turned his head slightly to hear. 

“—so fucking weird.”

“I know. I saw him talking to a tree the other day.”

“He’s a weirdo. He’s lucky we even hung out with him as long as we did.”

“The one good thing about him is that he’s stupid. He thought buying us stuff meant something. He’s a retard.”

“A faggot, too. Look at that shit on his head. What boy wears those?” 

“I’m surprised he never tried to do anything to you, Minjoon.”

“Even if I was gay, my standards would be a little higher than that trash.”

Yoongi’s jaw clenched, a red haze overtaking him. Slamming his phone face down on his desk, he roughly pushed his seat back and stood up. Turning on his heels, Yoongi spotted fucking Minjoon three desks higher than them, surrounded by his friends. Barely aware of the growing silence in the classroom, Yoongi smirked in satisfaction once he saw Minjoon’s eyes widen at the sight of him. 

“You had something to say?” Yoongi asked, climbing the incline towards the group. “Say it again.”

One guy stood up, easily towering over Yoongi by a good five inches, arms crossed and an ugly leer on his face. “You must be Taehyung’s paid bodyguard. God knows that freak doesn’t have any friends.”

Yoongi stared up at him for a minute. Balling his fist, Yoongi drove it into the guy’s stomach before lifting his knee and catching him in his crotch. The guy crumbled, face scrunched up in pain. Gripping his shoulder strongly, Yoongi leaned down and made eye contact with him. “I’m his friend. And I fucked up Minjoon for free.”

Pushing the guy to the ground, Yoongi stepped over him and stood in front of Minjoon’s desk. “I guess you didn’t learn your lesson from a few days ago. It must not have hurt enough.”

Minjoon glared at Yoongi from his seat, “You and your little boyfriend beat me up and stole my stuff. You’re lucky I didn’t report you!”

“Report me?” Yoongi repeated slowly before slamming his hands on Minjoon’s desk. The bastard flinched. “Report me?! You hit Taehyung! You tried to force him to do all your work! He bought you shit and your bitch friends shit because he thought you were his friends! You think what I did to you then was bad? You think only two people care about him? That guy who stomped you out has a boyfriend who has a roommate who dances with two other guys. We’re all friends with Taehyung. Jungkook? He’s a black belt and he really really wanted to meet you. You think Jin and I hurt you?”

“Yoongi-ssi!” Yoongi could vaguely hear the teacher call his name. 

“So you’re gonna what? Jump me? Over that freak? Do you even know why he transferred so late? The kid’s a fucking problem!” Minjoon sneered, standing up from his seat. “And you only got me because you and your friend surprised me. Let’s see how you do by yourself.”

Yoongi leapt forward before Minjoon could finish talking and grabbed him by the collar, pulling him almost completely over the desk. “Let’s see then, bitch.” 

“Ahjussi! Ahjussi, stop!”

Yoongi froze, fist raised to put through Minjoon’s face. He turned and looked at Taehyung who was standing a few feet away from him, constant tears streaming down his face. “Ahjussi, I don’t like this. I want to leave. Can we go now?”

“Tae, he needs to learn his lesson,” Yoongi said, grip on Minjoon strong. “He needs to apologize.”

Taehyung shook his head and came closer. He grabbed the back of Yoongi’s sweatshirt. “Can we go get hot chocolate now?” Taehyung implored. And in his eyes, Yoongi could see it. Fear. Taehyung was afraid. Of Yoongi. At that realization, Yoongi immediately released Minjoon, allowing him to fall gracelessly on the floor. 

Bending down, Yoongi sighed, “He deserves better than this. I want to hurt you for what you did. Any person would feel the same. But Taehyung isn’t like that. He’s too nice for that. That’s the friendship you rejected.” Standing up, Yoongi used his sleeve to wipe Taehyung’s face. “Aigoo, look at this big baby. Why don’t we go get those drinks now, huh?”

Taehyung smiled, unsure, “And cookies?”

“Yep. And while we’re eating, we can look up a recipe for those muffins you love so much,” Yoongi replied, grabbing his phone off his desk. Gathering up Taehyung’s things, Yoongi slung the younger’s backpack over his shoulder and held Taehyung’s hand. As he passed by everyone, Yoongi heard the teacher whisper something. Yoongi looked at her and nodded, giving a slight bow. 

“Take care of him.”

Chapter Text

Ahjussi ♡:

i cnt feel my toes

 

SUNRISE:

stop exaggerating 

 

Romantic:

im 100% with u yoongi hyung

 

SUNRISE:

it wasn’t so bad

 

Joons_Future:

it was three hrs of pure hell

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i agree

stupid fking hobi

 

Taeddy Bear:

but we look so great ahjussi!

we looked tons better than last time

 

FairyFloss:

maybe u tae

joon hyung looked like a baby ostrich in the dark

 

Kookie Dough:

true true

 

Romantic:

i thought i did pretty damn good tyvm

 

Joons_Future:

i looked a mess and u looked worse than me

lets not kid ourselves babe

 

Romantic:

u never take my side

 

Joons_Future:

ur side is never right

 

SUNRISE:

jins mistakes and namjoons everything aside, i think we’re rlly shaping up

 

Romantic:

i live with u yk i can smother u in ur sleep

 

Taeddy Bear:

(´Д`。)

 

Romantic:

but i wnt

 

Taeddy Bear:

☆~~ヾ(>▽<)ノ。・☆

 

Kookie Dough:

hey tae, u wanna keep painting 2day?

 

Taeddy Bear:

oh yes! 

 

Joons_Future:

im almost inside out w curiosity 

 

FairyFloss:

me too tbh

 

Kookie Dough:

ull see it when u see it 

 

Taeddy Bear:

but not now

 

Kookie Dough:

its not finished yet

 

SUNRISE:

aww look @ taekook finishing each others thought processes

 

FairyFloss:

...taekook?

 

Romantic:

its like a ship name isnt it?

 

SUNRISE:

yeppers

 

Ahjussi ♡:

if ur implying wht i think ur implying, i will stab jungkook to death 2nite in his sleep

 

Kookie Dough:

(●__●)

wtf hyung

 

Joons_Future:

or we could waterboard him

 

Kookie Dough:

( ゜Д゜;)!?

 

SUNRISE:

my dudes chill

its their platonic shipname

like how me and namjoon is namseok

 

Ahjussi ♡:

u and joon have a ship name?

why?

 

Joons_Future:

hoseok likes ship names

his and mine is 2seok u and me are yoonjin

 

Ahjussi ♡:

oh

ok

 

FairyFloss:

so its friendly?

 

SUNRISE:

yes park jimin

keep ur pants on

 

Romantic:

???

 

FairyFloss:

u want me to rearrange ur face hyung?!

 

SUNRISE:

cimcf

bring it on

 

Joons_Future:

where did taekook go?

 

SUNRISE:

hmm?

 

Joons_Future:

well they were just beside me but now they’ve disappeared

 

Romantic:

pretty sure i saw them leave out the corner of my eye

 

Joons_Future:

impossible

 

SUNRISE:

why?

 

Joons_Future:

eyes are circular 

they dnt have corners

 

FairyFloss:

(¬_¬) srsly?

 

Joons_Future:

(✧≖‿ゝ≖)

 

Ahjussi ♡:

idiot

 

Taeddy Bear:

dnt worry hyungs

 

FairyFloss:

tae!

 

Taeddy Bear:

jiminie!

kookie n i went to start painting

 

Kookie Dough:

indeed we did

 

Joons_Future:

why didn’t u say smth before u left?

 

Kookie Dough:

bc u were too busy fussing over ship names

btw, taekook is top tier hobi hyung

 

SUNRISE:

i try

 

FairyFloss:

u sure do

 

SUNRISE:

lmao

∠( ᐛ 」∠)_

 


 

 

Romantic:

has anyone seen jin hyung?

 

FairyFloss:

uh no why?

 

Romantic:

no reason ig

he got a call and ducked out but it’s been like 3 hrs

 

SUNRISE:

who called him?

 

Romantic:

idfk i was half asleep

 

Ahjussi ♡:

so thts why I had no dinner? he left for a booty call?

 

Romantic:

no we went out on a date then we came home and fell asleep watching a movie on my laptop

 

Taeddy Bear:

Aww hyung! Thats rlly sweet!

(´∀`)♡

u rlly live up to ur name hyung

 

Romantic:

thx tae

 

Ahjussi ♡:

fck tht

i was hungry

 

SUNRISE:

jeez n i thought jin hyung and JK were the fat ones

u couldve came over to taes place

me and the youngest three had a sleepover

 

Taeddy Bear:

i taught them how to make flower crowns 

we watched movies played games n made friendship bracelets for the group!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i wasnt told this tho was i?

 

FairyFloss:

now tht i think about it wheres kookie?

 

SUNRISE:

hmm

somewhere between 12 and 1, he borrowed my car to go get some more snacks

 

Romantic:

its like five in the morning

 

SUNRISE:

╮(─▽─)╭

 

FairyFloss:

( ̄ω ̄) dnt have kids hobi hyung

 

Taeddy Bear:

smth happened to kookie?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

dw taehyung im sure tht fool is just fine

 

Kookie Dough:

hey hyungs

 

Taeddy Bear:

Kook!

 

Kookie Dough:

Tae!

 

Taeddy Bear:

TAEKOOK POWER ☆

 

Kookie Dough:

TAEKOOK POWER ☆

 

Ahjussi ♡:

wtf was tht?

 

SUNRISE:

oh *hard eye roll*

they came up with a taekook chant last night complete with a super elaborate handshake

honestly, its cute

 

Romantic:

then why the eye roll

 

FairyFloss:

they screamed it like every ten minutes last night

 

Kookie Dough:

oh while i have u guys attention

u kno i love u all right?

 

Taeddy Bear:

ily too kookie!

 

FairyFloss:

wht?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

what did u do?

 

Kookie Dough:

hyungs do u kno i love u? huh? cuz i do 

like fight a 30-ft martian to the death in an illegal multiuniversal brawl to win ur right to freedom from being his sex slave love u guys

 

FairyFloss:

thts weirdly detailed

 

Romantic:

wht do u be watching?

 

SUNRISE:

at least i know someone would fight for me

MY BRO

 

Kookie Dough:

MY BRO

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ok dummies

yes kook we kno u love us

 

Taeddy Bear:

n we love him too ahjussi

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yea sure

we love u too

 

Kookie Dough:

ok good

can someone come to the police station and come get us?

 

SUNRISE:

...

 

FairyFloss:

WHAT??!!!??!??!

 

Romantic:

u were arrested?

 

Kookie Dough:

ok listen yes i was 

 

Romantic:

yoongi hyung, we will convene @ ur house for the great ass whooping extravaganza 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

AYE CAPTAIN!

 

Kookie Dough:

hey! i didnt even tell u why yet!

 

FairyFloss:

b4 all tht i have a question 

 

SUNRISE:

wht?

 

FairyFloss:

kookie said ‘come get us’

who else r we supposed to be getting?

 

Kookie Dough:

oh right

jin hyung is with me

 

Romantic:

JIN WAS ARRESTED!

 

Kookie Dough:

yes and it was wht he deserved the damn tyrant

 

Ahjussi ♡:

so u were also the reason i starved to death last night

screw a beating, im gonna chop off ur legs bitch

 

Taeddy Bear:

are u and jin hyung ok kookie?

 

Kookie Dough:

my sweet angel! ty for being the ONLY one showing some concern 

 

FairyFloss:

we cnt show wht we dnt feel

 

Kookie Dough:

WOW

 

Romantic:

im concerned

 

Kookie Dough:

thanks hyung

 

Romantic:

abt my seokjinnie fck jeon jungkook

 

Kookie Dough:

...

W O W

 

SUNRISE:

im crying laughing 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ooh! i just found some pop tarts 

 

FairyFloss:

wht flavor?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

smores

 

Taeddy Bear:

( ✪ワ✪)ノi love those!!!

 

SUNRISE:

i like strawberry

 

Romantic:

cherry tastes like cough syrup

 

FairyFloss:

i agree

 

Kookie Dough:

HELLOOOOO

are u coming to get us!!!!!

 

SUNRISE:

we’re thinking hold on

 

Kookie Dough:

HYUNGS PLS

 

Romantic:

smh ok ok

first, i wanna kno wht happened

 

Kookie Dough:

like?

 

FairyFloss:

like why u were arrested dummy

 

Kookie Dough:

oh

it was wrongful arrest! i was arrested for assault and disturbing the peace!

 

SUNRISE:

wrongful? so u didnt assault anyone?

 

Kookie Dough:

wht? no i did

 

FairyFloss:

( ̄ー ̄)ノ  

 

Ahjussi ♡:

then it wasnt wrongful dumbass!

 

Taeddy Bear:

u shouldnt hurt ppl kookie

it makes them feel bad

 

Ahjussi ♡:

u made tae sad

im gonna bury u alive lil boi!

 

Kookie Dough:

DNT BE SAD TAE ILY

and clearly i gotta tell y’all everything from the very beginning 

 

Romantic:

clearly

 

Kookie Dough:

ok so i was in charge of getting some more food for our sleepover so i used hobi hyungs car to drive to the closest convenience store

as i was leaving with my bags i saw some random guy keying some car

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ok?

 

Kookie Dough:

at first i left him alone bc i was like ‘do what u gotta do to be the best you’ yk?

but then as i got closer i realized it was HOSEOK HYUNGS CAR

 

SUNRISE:

someone keyed my fking car!!!!

 

Kookie Dough:

so i dropped my bags ran to him and kicked him away from the car

i was like ‘wht the hell r u doing?!’ and he said ‘back off bitch!’ and he tried to stab me with the nail he had but i dodged and punched him in his face

then it evolved into a full blown fist fight (tht i was winning)

as i was putting my shoe in his kidneys a cop car pulled up and some officers got out

i tried to explain what happened but they saw the guy on the ground all busted up and me not and just arrested me

 

SUNRISE:

A GUY KEYED MY CAR?!

 

Romantic:

wht abt seokjin hyung?

 

Kookie Dough:

i used my phone call to give him a ring so he’d come bail me out

however, when he got here, he immediately pulled off his belt and started hitting me W/O LETTING ME EXPLAIN

my arresting officer stopped him n was like ‘why tf r u hitting this boy?’ 

stupid jin hyung says ‘its ok officer hes my son’ 

 

FairyFloss:

he said wht? 

⸌̷̻ ( ᷇๑ॢ˃̶͈̀ ꇴ ˂̶͈́๑ॢ) ⸌̷̻

 

Kookie Dough:

the dude looked us both up and down then threw us in a cell together

 

Ahjussi ♡:

omfg

 

SUNRISE:

where is my car?!

 

Romantic:

most likely still fucked up @ the convenience store

 

SUNRISE:

(✖╭╮✖)

 

FairyFloss:

if ur in a cell, how are u texting?

 

Kookie Dough:

they just tossed our asses in here no search no nothing

 

SUNRISE:

to be fair, u were arrested at ass o’clock ths morning they probably were too tired to care if u even burnt the station down

 

Kookie Dough:

i do have a lighter?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

that was NOT a suggestion jungkook

 

Romantic:

wheres jin? why isnt he texting?

 

Kookie Dough:

oh hes seducing the guard into giving us the rest of his pizza

 

Romantic:

hes doing wht?!

 

FairyFloss:

using his powers of beauty for food

 

SUNRISE:

sounds like him

 

Kookie Dough:

well he needs to hurry up bc im the hungry

im three seconds from offering a bj in exchange for the pizza

 

Taeddy Bear:

wht does bj stand for?

 

FairyFloss:

not it

┬┴┬┴┤(・_├┬┴┬┴

 

SUNRISE:

not it

|・ω・`*)ッ

 

Taeddy Bear:

hyungs?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

...blueberry juice

bj stands for blueberry juice 

 

Taeddy Bear:

*gasp*

they make blueberry juice? i love blueberries!

i wanna try bj

 

Ahjussi ♡:

anyone ever offers let me know and ill deal with them ok?

 

Taeddy Bear:

ok! does it taste good jungkook? bj?

 

FairyFloss:

ヽ(゚Д゚)ノ

ABORT MISSION

 

Romantic:

kookie u dead son of a bitch!

 

SUNRISE:

more like bitch of a son

 

FairyFloss:

yea his moms pretty cool

 

Taeddy Bear:

kookie? has anyone else tried bj? is it good?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

it tastes horrible nothing like blueberries

 

Taeddy Bear:

does it taste like kiwi? i dnt really like kiwi

 

Romantic:

thats EXACTLY what it tastes like

kiwis

 

Taeddy Bear:

ew!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yep ew

jk, where u at punk?

 

Kookie Dough:

i love u pls dnt kill me!!!!!!!!

_| ̄|○

 

Joons_Future:

wassup bitches

 

Taeddy Bear:

jinnie hyung!!! i missed you!

 

Joons_Future:

of course u would being surrounded by all these peasants 

 

SUNRISE:

wow can really feel the love

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i guess u dnt want us to come get u then

 

Joons_Future:

all taken care of

 

Kookie Dough:

ths pizza tastes so good

 

Joons_Future:

it does dsnt it?

 

Romantic:

babe wht do u mean its all taken care of?

 

Joons_Future:

well instead of coming to get us u fatheaded punks (except my tae baby and cute jimin) were hounding my sweet little kookie for info

 

Kookie Dough:

(⌒∇⌒)

 

Taeddy Bear:

(◕‿◕✿)

 

FairyFloss:

(๑>ᴗ<๑)

 

Joons_Future:

cute

anyways, while u losers were doing tht i was flirting with the guard to give us his food

 

Romantic:

yea? and?

 

Joons_Future:

i ‘dropped’ my jacket and bent over to pick it up and next thing i know, we’re being escorted out and i had the number of the arresting officer n the guard

 

Romantic:

i hope u know ur not using them

 

SUNRISE:

a master manipulator! 

(ノ_.)ノ all hail king seokjin

 

FairyFloss:

u showed ur ass n they just let u go?

 

Joons_Future:

i might have bit my lip once or twice with a little shy staring from under the eyelashes

same stuff i do when i want namjoon to do smth for me

n dw namjoonie, they werent my type babe

 

Ahjussi ♡:

so u DNT need bail money?

 

Joons_Future:

not at all

 

Kookie Dough:

honestly i dnt know why i staged a dad off

jin hyung is rocking ths single mother thing u deadbeats

 

FairyFloss:

lol 

 

Taeddy Bear:

(◍´͈ꈊ`͈◍)

 

Ahjussi ♡:

wht abt hobis car?

 

SUNRISE:

my car?

oh yea

MY FUCKING CAR!!!!

Chapter Text

SUNRISE:

this world is nothing but a painful illusion

 

FairyFloss:

arent u supposed to be in class?

 

SUNRISE:

class? what is class? what is life? who am i? who are you?

 

Joons_Future:

if i catch another one of u ppl skipping, im pulling out the wheel

 

Kookie Dough:

NO 

 

FairyFloss:

NOT THE WHEEL

 

Taeddy Bear:

what wheel?

 

SUNRISE:

pull it out bitch! i dnt care anymore

 

Romantic:

my phone keeps buzzing omfg

yall r gonna get me in trouble

 

Joons_Future:

is it our fault u didnt put ur phone on mute?

 

Romantic:

last time i muted my phone u dumped me for a week and a half

 

Taeddy Bear:

☉̥̆ Ô☉̥̆

 

Joons_Future:

thts bc u werent answering my texts!

 

Romantic:

bc my phone was on mute!

 

SUNRISE:

yes YES FIGHT

FIGHT SO EVERYONE WILL FEEL SHITTY LIKE ME

 

Romantic:

(-)we’re not rlly fighting

(-) wtf wrong w u?

 

SUNRISE:

oh idk mmm whats wrong with me? oh right

MY FUCKING CAR

 

FairyFloss:

ahhhh yea i forgot abt tht

 

Kookie Dough:

me too honestly 

that was so ths morning drama

 

SUNRISE:

except i had to drive it 2day and i literally only missed class bc i passed out when i saw how my car looked in broad daylight

 

Kookie Dough:

lol wimp

 

Taeddy Bear:

did u hit ur head hobi hyung? thts dangerous

 

SUNRISE:

kim taehyung, the only reason i rise out of bed in the morn

 

Taeddy Bear:

(ノ∀`♥)

 

FairyFloss:

i will add to ur bad mood jung hoseok play w me

 

Joons_Future:

confusion is me

 

Romantic:

i have no idea whts happening either

 

SUNRISE:

whats happening is that the left side of my car looks like a rendition of strip ‘the king’ weathers in the final race!

 

Kookie Dough:

who?

 

Taeddy Bear:

(°Д°;)( °Д)(  °)(  )(°; )(Д°;)(°Д°;)

Kookie!

 

Kookie Dough:

what?

 

SUNRISE:

you had no childhood 

 

FairyFloss:

i dnt kno who tht is either

 

Joons_Future:

i cant believe i thought u were my favorite at one point jimin

 

FairyFloss:

i cnt believe ths disrespect

 

SUNRISE:

me either

tae, my friend, educate these fools

 

Taeddy Bear:

ヾ(≧∇≦)ゞ

strip ‘the king’ weathers is a veteran racer and 7-time champion of the piston cup

he raced for dinoco but was looking to retire in order to spend more time w his wife

in his final race, he crashed due to being hit by chick hicks, total bad guy, but he managed to finish the race with the help of lightning mcqueen!

 

Joons_Future:

the fates were shining down on me w this kid, fellas

 

FairyFloss:

lightning mcqueen? whos tht?

 

SUNRISE:

ok screw the car ur face is about to look like strip weathers u uncultured bag of dust

 

Kookie Dough:

isnt lightning mcqueen from toy story?

 

Taeddy Bear:

џ(ºДºџ)

 

Joons_Future:

((;゚Д゚)

 

SUNRISE:

ヽ(#゚Д゚)ノ┌┛(ノ´Д`)ノ

 

Romantic:

i dnt think its tht serious guys

 

Taeddy Bear:

...hyung, how could u?

 

Joons_Future has changed their name to Joons_Past

 

Joons_Past:

i will return all personal items to recipient kim namjoon in three to five business days

 

SUNRISE:

exactly wht u deserve u transgressor

 


 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

congratulations on ur divorce jin hyung

 

Joons_Past:

thank you yoongi

 

Romantic:

one of these days yoongi hyung

 

Ahjussi ♡:

my address wont change boi

i had air for dinner bc of you

 

SUNRISE:

n poptarts for breakfast

 

Ahjussi ♡:

right!

 

Romantic:

u literally can cook just fine

 

Ahjussi ♡:

JINS FOOD IS BETTER!!!!!

 

Joons_Past:

awww yoongi

just for tht, what u want for dinner tonight?

 

Kookie Dough:

i want my cupcakes

 

Joons_Past:

is ur name yoongi? and shut up abt those damn cupcakes! ill make them tmr

 

Taeddy Bear:

ooh! can i help hyung? 

 

Joons_Past:

ofc tae baby

just come over for breakfast and we’ll make a day of it

 

Taeddy Bear:

♡✧。 (⋈◍>◡<◍)。✧♡

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ok yea fantastic, i want your famous japchae some tteokbokki and kimchi fried rice

 

Kookie Dough:

ooh! ooh! can we have hotteok too! pls pls pls

 

Joons_Past:

ok fine if u want

 

Kookie Dough:

〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜 im feasting 2night!

 

FairyFloss:

wht abt me and tae and hobi hyung?

 

Joons_Past:

tae can def come n hobi deserves a good meal for his hard day 

you? you have to watch Cars and provide me a detailed synopsis at the door or u will be denied entry

 

FairyFloss:

seriously?

 

Joons_Past:

u want to eat?

 

FairyFloss:

...

(◞‸◟)fine

 

SUNRISE:

IM GETTING A GOOD MEAL!!! 

ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪♬

 

Kookie Dough:

ヾ(´▽`;)ゝ

 

Taeddy Bear:

✺◟(∗❛ัᴗ❛ั∗)◞✺

 

Romantic:

ummmm

why did no one ask abt me?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

youve been dumped my friend

 

FairyFloss:

no longer allowed to dinner parties since the cook will most likely poison u

 

SUNRISE:

tht would be cool!

then we could do a whole ‘whodunnit’ theme party!

 

Taeddy Bear:

so it would be pretend?

 

SUNRISE:

suurree

 

Kookie Dough:

lmfao

 

Romantic:

babe, come on im sorry

 

Joons_Past:

do u understand the importance of differentiating between classic cinema gold?

 

Kookie Dough:

the only acceptable answer would be “yes”

 

Romantic:

yes hyung

 

Joons_Past:

good

i want a five page essay then or you will be denied entry as well

 

Romantic:

how come i get an essay but jimin only gets a synopsis!

 

FairyFloss:

im his cute lil jimin and u shouldve known better

 

Joons_Past:

exactly

 

Romantic:

*sigh* will u at least change ur name back?

 

Joons_Past:

that depends on how good ur essay is

 

Romantic:

(¬、¬) fine

Chapter Text

Joons_Past has changed their name to Kori Turbowitz

 

Kori Turbowitz:

bc she is the most like me

 

SUNRISE:

100% she was fast tracked bc she was a five star bitch 

 

Kori Turbowitz:

n so am I

 

Romantic:

u said ud change ur name back if i wrote tht essay

 

Kori Turbowitz:

noooo i did not

 

Romantic:

yes u did

 

Kookie Dough:

actually, he only said hed change his name which he did

 

Kori Turbowitz:

thank you my kookie gold star

 

Kookie Dough:

YES!!!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i will kill all of u if u dnt take ur asses to sleep

its sleeping time

 

SUNRISE:

gn yoongi hyung

see u l8r bitches

 

Kookie Dough:

i was never even here

(¬_¬)ノ bye now

 

Kori Turbowitz:

there u have it folks hobi n jk are scared of yoongi

 

Ahjussi ♡:

hyung im outside ur door

 

Kori Turbowitz:

good night

 

Romantic has changed Kori Turbowitz’s name to Joons_Only

 

Romantic:

ok gn

 


 

Ahjussi ♡:

whts w all ths noise?

 

Taeddy Bear:

gm ahjussi! jinnie hyung n i are making cupcakes for everybody!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

oh uh now?

 

Joons_Only:

yes now u dummy

tae n i went for breakfast n now we r baking

 

Kookie Dough:

breakfast? how come i didnt get breakfast?

 

Joons_Only:

bc u jetted out of the house after dinner last night to hang out w bambam n yugyeom and went past ur curfew

 

Kookie Dough:

right

sorry hyung

 

Joons_Only:

its ok just dnt make it a habit

 

SUNRISE:

i hate life

 

FairyFloss:

u need to change ur name dude

uve been a dark gloomy cloud lately 

 

Taeddy Bear:

whts wrong hobi hyung?

 

SUNRISE:

i dnt have enough money saved to fix my car

( ;つД`) it was a gift u gave me n i ruined it

 

Joons_Only:

aw hobi

 

Romantic:

technically u didnt ruin it

some random guy just decided to be an asshole

 

Kookie Dough:

*sad, forlorn sigh*

 

FairyFloss:

mood

 

Joons_Only:

hoseok?

 

Romantic:

the poor souls crying into the carpet

 

FairyFloss:

???

 

Romantic:

he tried to plop on the couch 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i thought u broke ur couch?

 

Romantic:

which is why he face planted on the floor instead

 

Taeddy Bear:

is he ok?

 

SUNRISE has changed their name to SAD BOI

 

FairyFloss:

i guess tht answers tht question huh?

 

SAD BOI:

if it was just a scratch id drive it but the idiot drew what looks like the mating of two monkeys and a bunch of cursing

i cnt drive tht shit around!

 

Taeddy Bear:

ill have it picked up n repaired hyung

 

SAD BOI:

absolutely not

 

Taeddy Bear:

(◕︿◕✿) but why? 

 

SAD BOI:

u cnt buy the car AND pay for its repairs

then id be like fking minjoon

 

Taeddy Bear:

but i want to fix ur car

 

Joons_Only:

hobis right tae baby

it wouldn’t be fair if u paid for the car and its maintenance 

 

FairyFloss:

i saved up some money hyung

i can give it to u

 

SAD BOI:

NO

u said u were saving tht to get an apartment 

 

FairyFloss:

but i can just start over

 

SAD BOI:

i said n.o. NO

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ill pay for it

 

SAD BOI:

...

 

Romantic:

...

 

Kookie Dough:

...

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i had been saving money for like a year and a half to update my studio 

 

Joons_Only:

oh yea u have 

ヽ(;▽;)ノ but tae bought u all tht shit for min yoongi day

 

Ahjussi ♡:

exactly! meaning i have a bunch of money and nowhere to spend it

let me spend it on u hoseok 

 

FairyFloss:

(jk!)

 

Kookie Dough:

(my thoughts exactly)

 

Taeddy Bear:

?

 

SAD BOI:

hyung i couldnt ask u to do tht

 

Ahjussi ♡:

which is why im offering

u cnt say no

 

Joons_Only:

why dnt u treat me like this namjoon?

 

Romantic:

we just went on a date

 

Joons_Only:

yea but then u disrespected cars

 

Ahjussi ♡:

since i was woken up by jin the inconsiderate bastard why dnt u pick me up n we take the car to the shop

 

Joons_Only:

excuse me bitch but u had plenty of time to sleep in

see if u get any of these cupcakes then

 

FairyFloss:

so petty hyung

 

Joons_Only:

 YE━(o・`ェ・o)ノ━S!!

 

SAD BOI:

uh ok sure

see u in ten?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

gr8

 

Kookie Dough:

soooo the cupcakes?

 

Joons_Only:

how abt u get ur lazy ass off the couch and come help!

 

Kookie Dough:

eh they taste better when u dnt make them urself

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i find tht to be the truth as well

 

Kookie Dough:

dnt forget i get extra hyung

 

Joons_Only:

i hate u

 

Kookie Dough:

( ˘ ³˘)♥

 

Taeddy Bear:

hyung, im happy i can make these cupcakes w you!

 

Joons_Only:

me too sweetie

ur probs a better helper than jk anyways

 

 

[Happy Feet]

 

DanceSlave:

hobi and yoongi sitting in a tree

 

DancePrince:

k-i-s-s-i-n-g

 

DanceKing:

shut up u fiends its not like tht!

 

DancePrince:

oh? last guy who spent more than ₩30,000 on me got dicked down in the backseat of his car

 

DanceSlave:

(´Å`)

u top?

 

DancePrince:

thts wht u got out of tht?

 

DanceKing:

tbh tht was also on my mind

 

DancePrince:

( ̄ー ̄)point is im pretty sure yoongi hyung wants to ride the hoseok express

 

DanceSlave:

with tht i agree wholeheartedly

 

DanceKing:

while i would gladly let him i dnt think thts wht this is

 

DanceSlave:

( ̄□ ̄) boi wht?!

 

DancePrince:

do u KNOW yoongi hyung? he laughs at the misfortune of others no way would he offer to pay for ur car unless he wanted in ur pants

 

DanceSlave:

ur non-animal printed pants 

ud turn off everyone in the solar system in those butt ugly things

 

DanceKing:

fuck u jungkook

 

DanceSlave:

save tht for yoongi hyung pls

 

DancePrince:

srsly tho hoseok hyung i think this is proof enough tht yoongi hyung likes u

 

DanceKing:

if thts true, wht should i do?

 

DanceSlave:

sneak in his room with a whip and some rope

 

DanceKing:

...

 

DancePrince:

um no

start a slow seduction

 

DanceSlave:

boring

 

DancePrince:

and ur single

 

DanceSlave:

by choice

 

DancePrince:

sure whtvr u say

anyway, start small hyung

 

DanceKing:

how?

 

DancePrince:

start going out with him by yourself 

 

DanceKing:

but we never hang out w/o the group

 

DanceSlave:

thts the point stupid! start spending some alone time w him to get him n u used to being 2gether without any buffers

 

DancePrince:

look at kookie so smart

 

DanceSlave:

°˖ ✧◝(○ ヮ ○)◜✧˖ °

 

DancePrince:

and text him more in a private chat and stuff

then give him shit

 

DanceSlave:

like his fav coffee in the mornings or his fav dessert on a hard day

shit like tht

 

DanceKing:

u think tht stuff will work?

 

DanceSlave:

if it doesnt it was all jimins idea

 

DancePrince:

shut up kookie n yes it will work

start 2day! after dropping off the car go to the movies or smth

 

DanceKing:

ok ok

thx guys for helping me with ths

 

DanceSlave:

who else would u go to lol? namjoon tells jin everything and hyung would tell yoongi hyung n taehyungs too precious to be burdened with ur love affairs

 

DancePrince:

and hed probably tell his ‘ahjussi’ too

 

DanceKing:

(°o°:) kookie is tht?

 

DanceSlave:

(° o°)! why yes i think it is!

 

DancePrince:

what

 

DanceSlave:

r u jealous of yoongi hyung?

 

DancePrince:

WHAT! NO!

 

DanceKing:

you are!!! 

 

DanceSlave:

w(°o°)w

 

DancePrince:

im NOT! idk its just taehyung has such a gr8 relationship w him and im a horrible person 

 

DanceSlave:

yes u are

 

DanceKing:

JUNGKOOK!

 

DanceSlave:

wht? im just kidding damn!

 

DanceKing:

jimin, its not tht surprising ur jealous of yoongi ok? honestly, im jealous of taehyung bc of the same thing like 36% of the time

 

DanceSlave:

wtf

 

DancePrince:

why only 36% of the time

 

DanceKing:

bc majority of the time i understand tht wht yoongi has for taehyung is the same thing i have for taehyung n i dnt see anything wrong with my feelings so i shouldnt feel upset abt yoongis

 

DanceSlave:

and the 36?

 

DanceKing:

moments of weakness usually right b4 i fall asleep

thts the time errant thoughts come to mind and seem more important than they rlly are

 

DancePrince:

but u have a good relationship with yoongi so u cnt feel tht bad

 

DanceSlave:

meaning?

 

DancePrince:

everyone seems so close to taehyung and i dnt

i feel like he only sees me when im right in front of his face

and i dnt even mean in a romantic sense but like he hangs out with everyone but we’ve never had a friendly outing 2gether with just us

 

DanceKing:

oh

i see ur point

 

DanceSlave:

take ur own advice then jimin!

 

DancePrince:

?

 

DanceSlave:

the slow seduction thing well without the seduction or jin and yoongi hyungs will skin u alive but all the other stuff

take him out on taemin play dates

 

DanceKing:

yea thts a superb suggestion jungkook

jimin, u know taehyung is like a bag of sugar ok? if u want some in ur tea u have to get it urself the sugar wnt come to u

 

DancePrince:

the analogy confuses me but its meaning resonates so thank you

 

DanceKing:

ok good

Chapter Text

FairyFloss:

gm !!!

 

Taeddy Bear:

morning jiminie!

 

Romantic:

good morning

 

FairyFloss:

tae! 

 

Taeddy Bear:

jimin!

 

FairyFloss:

r u busy 2day?

 

Taeddy Bear:

nope

 

FairyFloss:

cool

u wanna hang out 2day?

 

Romantic:

so im just not here then

 

Taeddy Bear:

id love to hang out with u jiminie!

✧(σ๑˃̶̀ꇴ˂̶́)σ im so excited now!

 

FairyFloss:

gr8

i have a few ideas so ill pick u up from ur place l8r is tht ok?

 

Taeddy Bear:

yep!

 

Romantic:

sooo im hoseok now

 

SAD BOI:

hey bitch watch urself

hold up

 

SAD BOI has changed their name to SUNRISE

 

SUNRISE:

hey bitch watch urself

 

Taeddy Bear:

seokie hyung! 

 

SUNRISE:

TAEBERRY MUFFIN! ~(^з^)-♡

 

Taeddy Bear:

(♥ˊ艸ˋ♥)

 

FairyFloss:

so ill pick u up for breakfast in 30 min ok?

oh and hi joon hyung

 

Romantic:

tht was half hearted at best

i dnt want tht shit

 

FairyFloss:

well then 

i take it back

 

Joons_Only:

morning all! 

 

Romantic:

babe ur children have no respect 4 me as a father figure

 

Joons_Only:

well i have no respect for u as a husband figure so

 

Kookie Dough:

hahhaha

 

Romantic:

i cnt believe i woke up out my sleep for ths

 

Taeddy Bear:

i love u hyung

 

Romantic:

amazing

i found a flower among weeds

 

Kookie Dough:

lol 

 

SUNRISE:

where even r u? ur not @home w me

jin?

 

Joons_Only:

hes not here...right?

 

FairyFloss:

smh u dnt kno where ur own man is?

 

Joons_Only:

ehh

 

Romantic:

no im not at ur place jin hyung

 

SUNRISE:

wya then?

 

Romantic:

honestly?

 

Kookie Dough:

no, falsely

*sigh* is this really my father?

 

Romantic:

t(- n -)t

anyways, im on a bench in a park

 

SUNRISE:

...

 

Joons_Only:

ummm

 

FairyFloss:

u slept there?!

 

Romantic:

yeppers

 

Kookie Dough:

why is ths my father?

*jumps in front of truck* TAKE ME IM READY

 

SUNRISE:

°₊·ˈ∗(( ॣ>̶᷇ᗢ<̶᷆ ॣ))∗ˈ‧

 

Taeddy Bear:

joonie hyung, r u ok?

 

Romantic:

oh im fine

i was walking in the park last night just thinking and i tripped and busted up my ankle

it hurt to walk so i just laid down on this bench

i didnt plan on staying but i must’ve fell asleep

 

Joons_Only:

u didnt think to call one of us for help?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

u were probably robbed in ur sleep idiot

 

Taeddy Bear:

morning yoongi hyung!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

hey tae

 

Romantic:

actually, after the last time i was robbed i stopped coming to the park w my wallet

 

Joons_Only:

WHAT! 

 

FairyFloss:

when were u robbed?

 

Romantic:

once i was in the park and dislocated my knee so i just laid in the grass and fell asleep

when i woke up my wallet shoes and a lock of my hair was gone

 

Kookie Dough:

it was a witch! u were probably cursed hyung!

 

Taeddy Bear:

(゜Д゜*)

 

Ahjussi ♡:

not likely

 

Kookie Dough:

no it was

who else would take his hair?

 

SUNRISE:

a stalker? though who’d be obsessed with this dude is a mystery in itself

 

Joons_Only:

wait...so u were robbed in ur sleep after hurting urself in some park and ur response is to go to tht park again just without ur wallet?

 

Romantic:

what else would i do?

 

Joons_Only:

how abt never go back?

 

FairyFloss:

tht makes sense

 

SUNRISE:

tru

 

Romantic:

oh i didnt think of tht

 

Kookie Dough:

*flat roadkill body stands up from the road and jumps off the bridge*

 

SUNRISE:

now look joon

ur stupidity is killing ur youngest son

 

Ahjussi ♡:

wait i thought i was jk’s father

 

FairyFloss:

(_□_;) ud claim custody of tht idiot?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

well being his father means im taehyung’s father so

 

Kookie Dough:

(;¬_¬) wow

 

Romantic:

NO! you cant take my taesty strudel away from me! id even take jungkook to keep tht boy!

 

Kookie Dough:

(ノ ̄д ̄)ノ

 

Joons_Only:

i still love u kookie

 

Taeddy Bear:

me too!

 

FairyFloss:

meh i guess

 

Kookie Dough:

hoseok hyung?

 

SUNRISE:

sure

 

FairyFloss:

(ᗒᗜᗕ)՛̵̖

 


 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yo jimin!

 

Kookie Dough:

yes?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ur not jimin

jimin!

 

SUNRISE:

u rang?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

stop playing w me or ill break ur legs

 

SUNRISE:

but then i wouldn’t be able to dance 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

oh right

ill sprain ur wrist and ill break jungkooks legs

 

Kookie Dough:

exhibit a hobi hyung

 

Ahjussi ♡:

???

 

SUNRISE:

hey we should practice again tmr

 

Romantic:

hell no i fucked up my ankle

 

Kookie Dough:

so?

 

SUNRISE:

i dnt think ur performance will be greatly affected lbr

 

Romantic:

wow the disrespect for ur own roommate 

 

SUNRISE:

yea well

 

Joons_Only:

yoongi, didnt u want jimin?

 

Kookie Dough:

hyung wtf

 

SUNRISE:

WHY WOULD U REMIND HIM!

 

Joons_Only:

why r u running interference?

 

Romantic:

tht is a good question

 

Kookie Dough:

interference? wht is tht? idek how to spell tht

 

Ahjussi ♡:

u just did

 

SUNRISE:

hes got u there

 

Romantic:

soo jimin?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

exactly

PARK JIMIN

 

FairyFloss:

for every minute u remain angry u lose out on 60 sec of peace of mind

 

SUNRISE:

wise words jimin

 

Romantic:

not even his

ralph waldo emerson said tht

 

Kookie Dough:

i dare u to say tht dudes name ten times fast

 

Ahjussi ♡:

shut up u fools

jimin jimin jimin

 

FairyFloss:

yes hyung?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

why did taehyung send me a sad face?

 

FairyFloss:

wht?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

he texted me a sad face and a crying face

wht did u do?

 

Kookie Dough:

oh thank god i thought ths was abt the other thing

 

SUNRISE:

me too

 

Romantic:

what other thing?

 

SUNRISE:

why dont u ever mind ur business namjoon?

 

Romantic:

look boi ill put hot sauce into ur tea jug if u keep talking to me like tht

 

SUNRISE:

ill just pour it out

 

Romantic:

then ill have jin hyung pull out the wheel

 

SUNRISE:

...

i thought we was a family namjoon

 

Joons_Only:

JIMIN! wht did u do to my baby?

 

FairyFloss:

relax hyungs i didnt do anything

we were walking down the street and found a dog all by itself

 

Joons_Only:

ok and?

 

FairyFloss:

we all kno tae loves dogs

we took the dog to the park n was playing with her and tae said he’d take her home but then some guy came and just took her

 

Kookie Dough:

what an asshole

 

Ahjussi ♡:

what did he look like?

 

FairyFloss:

like someone we’d never see again so chill

oh tae’s calling me! gtg

 

Joons_Only:

wht is with u ppl and parks? clearly they are not happy places

stop going to them

 

SUNRISE:

im with u hyung

 

Romantic:

shut up hobi

ur only saying tht bc the last time u went to a park a big ass spider crawled up the side of ur face

 

SUNRISE:

SEE! THEY’RE PLACES OF MISERY!

AHHHHHH

 

Kookie Dough:

i got dumped in a park b4

he said he wasnt gay anymore bc he started dating this girl like a month into our relationship and liked her better than me

 

Ahjussi ♡:

and wht did THT guy look like?

 

Joons_Only:

u just wanna fight smbdy dnt u?

 

Kookie Dough:

theres no need

i fucked him up in tht park and then i told jimin who beat him up the next day in school

i was like half in love with jimin for like the next month after that actually 

 

SUNRISE:

at least justice was served

 

Kookie Dough:

yep

later on, she dumped him to go out with me lol stupid guy forgot i was bi until i took his girl hahahaha

 

Romantic:

you must be jin hyungs actual child bc pettiness like that must be hereditary 

 

Joons_Only:

im proud

 

Kookie Dough:

\(^▽^@)ノ

Chapter Text

Romantic:

jung hoseok if i have to tell u one more time not to walk around ths apartment naked istg

 

SUNRISE:

i wasnt! its my room! i can do whatever i want in my own room!

 

Romantic:

not if u dnt have a door!

 

SUNRISE:

it wasnt like i just up and decided to take my door off namjoon

yoongi hyung kicked my door in half in the middle of the night

 

Ahjussi ♡:

dnt bring me into this

 

SUNRISE:

u kicked urself into this when u broke my door

 

Ahjussi ♡:

u are currently missing a coffee table a couch a dinner table and the door to ur balcony

i highly doubt ur bedroom door is a big loss

 

Romantic:

dear god the landlord is gonna sue us

 

Kookie Dough:

um wht happened to ur dinner table and the balcony door?

 

Joons_Only:

there will be some long winded, super complicated explanation that will just boil down to namjoon

 

Romantic:

not true

 

Joons_Only:

then what happened to them?

 

SUNRISE:

funnily enough we dnt know what happened to the balcony door

 

Ahjussi ♡:

???

 

Romantic:

we woke up and it was gone

we found it on the sidewalk in front of our building smashed into pieces

 

Kookie Dough:

what the hell

namjoon hyung’s so destructive the air in the apartment became damaging

 

SUNRISE:

cimcf

 

Romantic:

u think thats so funny then wht happened to the table hobi? 

 

SUNRISE:

uhhhh

 

Romantic:

ill tell u what happened

hoseok hyung got drunk and started breakdancing on the table and then it broke in half

 

Ahjussi ♡:

*deep sigh*

 

SUNRISE:

hey! dnt sigh me! it cracked down the middle but it didn’t completely break until namjoon sat down to have a bowl of cereal

 

Joons_Only:

see: namjoon

 

Romantic:

( ་ ⍸ ་ )

 

Taeddy Bear:

[image sent]

 

hi everyone! jimin and i are at the movies! 

 

SUNRISE:

tae!! i love u!!

 

Taeddy Bear:

hyung! i love u too!!!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ur at the movies? its almost ten

 

FairyFloss:

[image sent]

 

look at taetae!!! he doesnt know if he wants extra butter on his popcorn

 

Taeddy Bear:

idk bc we’re sharing minnie

i dnt want to add more butter if u dnt like it

 

Ahjussi ♡:

minnie? taetae?

 

FairyFloss:

i like extra butter

now, cherry coke or a blend?

 

Taeddy Bear:

have them put all flavors...unless u dnt like tht

 

SUNRISE:

disgusting

jimin is the only person i know who has all the soda flavors put together 

 

FairyFloss:

TAE! I LOVE BLENDING MY SODA!

 

Taeddy Bear:

ME TOO! So a large popcorn and an extra large soda...should we get candy?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

u SHOULD get a second cup! or go home bc theres school tmr

 

Kookie Dough:

who knew yoongi would be such a dad? 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

wheres my shotgun?

 

Kookie Dough:

lol

 

FairyFloss:

i could go for some gummy worms

 

Taeddy Bear:

sour?

 

FairyFloss:

u read my mind tae

alright, see u bitches the movies abt to start soon

 

Taeddy Bear:

bye bye! ヾ(o✪‿✪o)シ

 

SUNRISE:

so cute

 

Ahjussi ♡:

no wait! come back!

park jimin!

PARK JIMIN!

 

Romantic:

hes gone dude

 

Ahjussi ♡:

why r they still out? tae has school tmr!

 

Joons_Only:

pretty sure we all have school tmr

 

SUNRISE:

whts the big deal? 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

why the hell were they all dressed up? is jimin trying to move in on my sweet tae?!

 

Kookie Dough:

huh?

 

Joons_Only:

WHAT 

HE BETTER NOT! WHAT MOVIE THEATER THEY AT!

 

SUNRISE:

chill out stupids b4 u ruin everything

 

Joons_Only:

everything? whts everything?

 

Kookie Dough:

hobi hyung shut up!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

why does he need to shut up! dear god wheres my knife? i need to find my knife! jin where did u put it!

 

Joons_Only:

dude chill i sharpened it and put it under ur mattress like last week

 

Romantic:

-_-

 

SUNRISE:

jimin swore me and jk to secrecy but i think u should kno b4 u flip off the handle

 

Kookie Dough:

JUNG FUCKING HOSEOK!

 

Romantic:

what? what?

 

SUNRISE:

jimin feels sorta left out

 

Ahjussi ♡:

uh wht?

 

SUNRISE:

he felt like everyone gets to hang out with taehyung except him so he felt left out and kind of jealous of everyones friendship w tae

so i suggested he took taehyung out for a day so they could establish a bond

 

Joons_Only:

...

oh

 

Kookie Dough:

exactly n u ppl almost ruined it

u wouldve just made jimin feel worse

 

Ahjussi ♡:

well how are we supposed to know these things of u dnt tell us?

 

Romantic:

isnt it kinda telling tht he didnt feel comfortable telling us?

 

Joons_Only:

telling?

 

Romantic:

yea like maybe he didnt feel like he could tell us

 

Ahjussi ♡:

he could tell me! after stupid jungkook, im the boys best friend! we tell each other a lot!

 

Kookie Dough:

lately?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

...

 

SUNRISE:

no ones blaming anybody and its not anyones fault anyway

i mean, taes cute and sweet and makes everyone want to be around him and its not like jimin is no longer around yk

just let them have their fun ok?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ok

 

Joons_Only:

ok

 

Kookie Dough:

well

are there any leftover cupcakes?

 

Joons_Only:

gtfo kookie

 

 

[Happy Feet]

 

DanceKing:

ayo jimin

jk and i just saved ur ass

expect some free food from jin hyung for like the next week

 

DancePrince:

stop texting me im watching a movie

 

DanceKing:

enjoy then 

͡° ͜ʖ ͡°

 

DancePrince:

bye

 

DanceKing:

rude

 

DanceSlave:

im here for u hyung

 

DanceKing:

oh no fuck tht

peace!

 

DanceSlave:

...

bitch

Chapter Text

Taeddy Bear:

whts the wheel?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

huh?

 

Taeddy Bear:

good morning ahjussi! did u have a good rest?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

morning tae n yes i did

now whts this ur talking abt?

 

Taeddy Bear:

oh the wheel

everybody keeps talking abt a wheel and im curious

 

Kookie Dough:

pray u never experience the wheel

 

Joons_Only:

my dear tae baby would never experience such a thing

hes too amazing for it unlike u hellhounds

 

Taeddy Bear:

hyung wht is it?

 

SUNRISE:

why are u ppl bringing up war flashbacks so early in the morning?

 

Taeddy Bear:

gm hyung

 

SUNRISE:

gm to u too sweet pop

 

Kookie Dough:

yo wheres our good mornings hobi hyung?

 

SUNRISE:

u right

gm yoongi hyung n jin hyung, how are u at this crack of dawn?

 

Kookie Dough:

u wanna fight hoseok hyung?

 

SUNRISE:

maybe

 

Taeddy Bear:

i wanna kno abt the wheel

 

Romantic:

its full name is ‘wheel of misfortune’

 

Joons_Only:

such a nice play on words i thought

 

Taeddy Bear:

what does it do?

 

Joons_Only:

basically, when one of these fudge nuggets piss me off too much i spin the wheel of misfortune 

its a huge contraption i have in my closet

 

SUNRISE:

last time he pulled it out on me i had to swim ten laps in a pond

 

Joons_Only:

it wasnt tht bad

 

SUNRISE:

it was the middle of winter

 

Joons_Only:

┐( ˘_˘)┌ 

u shouldn’t have broken my mario figurine

 

SUNRISE:

it was on the floor!

 

Joons_Only:

in my room!

 

FairyFloss:

once i had to eat a spoonful of wasabi 

the man wouldnt even give me water

 

Joons_Only:

ur just fine

 

FairyFloss:

dnt have children hyung

 

Kookie Dough:

i usually landed on pass

 

SUNRISE:

which was total bs

 

Kookie Dough:

i only ever got the one punishment

i couldnt have any of hyungs cooking for a week

THE HORROR

 

Taeddy Bear:

wht did u do?

 

Kookie Dough:

i cut up his new sheets to make a costume so i could prank yugyeom

 

Joons_Only:

those sheets were expensive

 

SUNRISE:

tht wheel went against the geneva convention 

 

Romantic:

i think u might mean the US Constitution 

not tht it matters bc we live in seoul, south korea

 

FairyFloss:

it wasnt so bad

besides, jin hyung hasnt pulled it out since last fall

 

Joons_Only:

well u delinquents have seemed to learn ur lesson

 

Ahjussi ♡:

jungkook was arrested just a few days ago

 

Joons_Only:

well so was i

change the subject fellas

 

Taeddy Bear:

minnie, u wanna pick flowers w me 2day? its time to make the flower crowns

 

FairyFloss:

sure

hey can jk come? it’ll be a maknae thing 

 

Taeddy Bear:

♡〜٩( ˃́▿˂̀ )۶〜♡ even better

 

Kookie Dough:

YES! we should color coordinate so we look like a proper trio

hmm...im thinking black

 

FairyFloss:

im not even surprised

how abt black and white? 

 

Taeddy Bear:

i love color coordination! black and white it is! my first class ends at 10 is tht ok?

 

Kookie Dough:

yea thts cool

 

FairyFloss:

cool for me too

we’ll meet u at ur class

 

Taeddy Bear:

(◍•ᴗ•◍)♡ ✧*。OK!

 

Joons_Only:

im gonna get ditched huh? joon, wht u doing after class?

 

Romantic:

nothing why?

 

Joons_Only:

lets have a coffee date bc u love me and im too sexy to go out alone

 

Kookie Dough:

tht statement was riddled with lies

 

Taeddy Bear:

i find hyung very handsome

 

FairyFloss:

what?

 

Joons_Only:

and hoseok has a class so ur place will be empty

 

Romantic:

see u at 10 babe

 

Joons_Only:

^ω^

 

SUNRISE:

so wtf am i supposed to do? 

 

FairyFloss:

go to class?

 

SUNRISE:

thts so boring! everybodys forming subunits n leaving me and yoongi hyung all alone

hey hyung, lets form a subunit! yoonseok! lets do smth today

 

Taeddy Bear:

tht would be fun!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i would but i have to work on this song for class

 

SUNRISE:

oh ok

 

Joons_Only:

aww hobi

u can hang out with me and namjoon if u want

 

Romantic:

no he cant!

 

Joons_Only:

wow joonie such concern for ur friend

 

Romantic:

idrc 

 

SUNRISE:

im not abt to third-wheel ur date

maybe i should call up a friend

 

Ahjussi ♡:

what friend?

 

SUNRISE:

idk 

well this TA gave his number and said we should hang out some time

hes pretty cool

 

FairyFloss:

is tht the guy from my biology class?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

how’d hoseok meet him then? he doesnt take biology jimin

 

SUNRISE:

oh i came to pick up jimin once and he started talking to me

he only works tuesdays and thursdays so he might be free

 

Joons_Only:

this sounds like a date

 

SUNRISE:

not really i hung out with him b4 hes a good friend

 

Kookie Dough:

if ur talking about tht tall guy named after a fruit he’s totally into u hyung

 

Romantic:

a fruit?

 

Kookie Dough:

dude’s name is kiwi like wtf

 

Taeddy Bear:

⊙︿⊙ i dnt like kiwi

its why i wont try bj now

 

Joons_Only:

u wnt try WHAT

 

Kookie Dough:

it was jimin

 

FairyFloss:

WHAT

 

SUNRISE:

his name is not tht bad i think its cute

 

Ahjussi ♡:

cute?

 

SUNRISE:

he said his dad used to court his mom and give her kiwis bc they were her fav fruit and when she got pregnant she craved them all the time so his dad used to go to the store like everyday and get them so they named him kiwi

it’s his parents love fruit yk?

 

Joons_Only:

tht was surprisingly rlly sweet

joon we need a love fruit

 

Romantic:

i like bananas apples strawberries and oranges the most

 

Joons_Only:

hmm we’ll go with oranges 

 

Romantic:

as u wish

 

SUNRISE:

hopefully hes not busy

 

Ahjussi ♡:

well how abt me and u just go out instead?

 

Kookie Dough:

...

exhibit b jimin

 

FairyFloss:

evidence logged jungkook

 

Taeddy Bear:

huh?

 

SUNRISE:

but u said u had to do work 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

its not due for another two weeks and ur my friend so lets do smth

 

SUNRISE:

are u sure?

 

FairyFloss:

omg shut up stupid yes hes sure

 

Kookie Dough:

gr8 fantastic so taeminkook will be making flower crowns namjin will be nasty and yoonseok will be doing...

 

Ahjussi ♡:

we can go to the zoo if u want seok?

 

FairyFloss:

exhibit c jk

 

Kookie Dough:

noted

 

SUNRISE:

ok sure

i love the zoo

 

Taeddy Bear:

(^ ◕ᴥ◕ ^) me too! theres so many pretty animals 

have fun hyungs!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

thx tae we will

 

 

[Happy Feet]

 

DanceSlave:

hyung tht was genius!

 

DanceKing:

wht?

 

DancePrince:

the whole Kiwi hyung thing duh

i cnt believe yoongi fell for it

 

DanceKing:

wht r u talking abt? i do have Kiwi hyungs number

we hung out before

 

DancePrince:

*gasp*

 

DanceSlave:

why werent we told this?!?!

 

DanceKing:

bc hes a friend?

 

DancePrince:

if i knew he liked u i couldve used tht to get out of these assignments!

 

DanceKing:

he doesnt like me?

now whts this abt yoongi hyung falling for ‘it’?

 

DanceSlave:

smh u sad soul

enjoy the zoo

 

DanceKing:

wht?

 

DanceSlave:

jungkook out

cnt deal with this fool anymore

 

DanceKing:

what?

 

DancePrince:

hes right

see ya hyung

 

DanceKing:

WHAT

u unhelpful sacks of shits! W H A T

Chapter Text

SUNRISE:

this is bs

 

Kookie Dough:

what? if ur talking abt ur birth theres nothing that can change the mistakes of the past

 

FairyFloss:

lol

 

SUNRISE:

pls recognize tht u look like a diseased walrus b4 u come for me jeon jungkook

 

FairyFloss:

im just stringing these flowers together watching the roast of this century lmao

 

Taeddy Bear:

minnie ur using the wrong flowers 

 

FairyFloss:

oh shit

JUNGKOOK WHY THE FUCK DID U PICK WEEDS?

 

Kookie Dough:

i only picked them for u

my flowers are very nice boi

 

FairyFloss:

...

 

SUNRISE:

didnt i start this converstaion? why am i being cast aside?

 

Taeddy Bear:

its ok jimin

lets share my flowers

 

FairyFloss:

ok!

 

Kookie Dough:

wtvr

yo hoseok hyung whats wrong with you anyway?

 

Taeddy Bear:

wheres ahjussi?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

im here taehyung

 

Taeddy Bear:

(ノ^∇^) hi! how’s the zoo?

 

SUNRISE:

horrible terrible 

 

Taeddy Bear:

໒( •́ ‸ •̀ )७ really? why?

 

SUNRISE:

yoongi hyung got us kicked out

 

FairyFloss:

srsly?!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i did not! and we were not kicked out!

 

SUNRISE:

oh really? then why were we escorted to the exit by two buff ass guys then?

 

Kookie Dough:

they planned on kidnapping u?

 

FairyFloss:

what did u do yoongi hyung?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

nothing! i dnt know why we got kicked out!

 

SUNRISE:

well it wasnt me!

 

Kookie Dough:

u guys had to have done smth

 

Ahjussi ♡:

we were just looking at the monkeys when some manager came and said we couldnt be there and kicked us out

 

SUNRISE:

receding hairline asshole

 

Taeddy Bear:

i love monkeys! Ⴚტ◕‿◕ტჂ

 

Kookie Dough:

i personally prefer the tigers

 

FairyFloss:

so u guys were just there and then got kicked out? without doing anything?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

that is how it seems

 

Joons_Only:

maybe its bc of last time

 

Kookie Dough:

whoa where’d u come from?

 

Taeddy Bear:

hyung! i made u and joonie hyung matching crowns! they’re orange yellow and white since ur new fruit is oranges

 

Romantic:

thank you tae that’s very sweet

 

Taeddy Bear:

(◕‿◕)♡

 

Ahjussi ♡:

wht do u mean last time hyung?

 

Joons_Only:

the last time we all went to the zoo?

 

SUNRISE:

you mean my birthday? wht does tht have to do with anything?

 

Joons_Only:

smh

 

Kookie Dough:

ooooh i remember

damn

 

FairyFloss:

what?

 

Romantic:

we had a few drinks b4 we went to the zoo so some of u fools might not remember

 

Ahjussi ♡:

remember wht?

 

Joons_Only:

jimin hobi and jungkook sneaking into the penguin exhibit?

yoongi and namjoon beating up the plushies and breaking the souvenir cart?

yoongi and jungkook fighting the security guards when they kicked us out?

 

FairyFloss:

...right

 

SUNRISE:

so what? they banned us for life or smth?

 

Romantic:

wouldnt be the first time

 

Kookie Dough:

totally unfair

 

SUNRISE:

so i can never see the monkeys again?!?!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

sorry hobi

 

Taeddy Bear:

dw hyung 

if u want, i can get u a monkey

 

Kookie Dough:

um

 

SUNRISE:

YOU CAN DO THAT?!

 

Joons_Only:

the answer is NO 

u dnt need a damn monkey

 

SUNRISE:

(╭╮) fine

 

Ahjussi ♡:

how abt we go bowling?

 

Kookie Dough:

BOWLING!!!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

not you

 

Kookie Dough:

WHAT

 

FairyFloss:

u need to worry abt these ugly ass flower crowns u made

ur color schemes all types of fucked up

 

Kookie Dough:

like ur face

 

FairyFloss:

like ur grades

 

Kookie Dough:

i thought u loved me jimin

 

FairyFloss:

┐( ˘_˘)┌

 

Ahjussi ♡:

bowling hoseok?

 

SUNRISE:

sure tht sounds fun

esp without jungkook

 

Kookie Dough:

u just mad u can never win against me

 

Joons_Only:

he speaks the truth

 

Kookie Dough:

i am the bowling god

 

Taeddy Bear:

I’ve never been bowling

 

Romantic:

u havent?

 

Taeddy Bear:

is it some kind of game? how do u play?

 

FairyFloss:

omfg jungkook just passed out

 

SUNRISE:

u never went bowling w ur family taehyung?

 

Taeddy Bear:

is tht bad?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

well...

 

Joons_Only:

no it isnt 

if u want, we can all go out bowling sometime 

 

Taeddy Bear:

we can?

 

Romantic:

yep

 

Taeddy Bear:

✺◟(∗❛ัᴗ❛ั∗)◞✺

 

FairyFloss:

wake up jungkook u stupid bitch! ur crushing my crowns!

 

Kookie Dough:

im up im up

jeez

 

FairyFloss:

they’re ruined!

 

Kookie Dough:

they were ugly anyway

 

FairyFloss:

(#`Д´) AHHH

 

Taeddy Bear:

jimin dont do that!

 

Kookie Dough:

OW get off me!!!!

somebody help me!

 

SUNRISE:

lets go bowling hyung

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yea sure

bye

 

SUNRISE:

bye tae!

 

Taeddy Bear:

bye hyungs!

 

Kookie Dough:

hes biting my ankles!!!!

 

Joons_Only:

(¯―¯٥)

 

Romantic:

babe the foods here

 

Joons_Only:

yes! bye tae baby!

 

Taeddy Bear:

ヾ(^_^) byebye!!

 

FairyFloss:

GET OFF MY HAIR

 

Kookie Dough:

the tables have turned!!!

Chapter Text

SUNRISE:

good news fellas

 

Joons_Only:

wht good news?

 

FairyFloss:

his results are back n he doesnt have the clap

 

Taeddy Bear:

hobi hyung cnt clap?!

 

Joons_Only:

he better not

HOSEOK!

 

SUNRISE:

jimin i will never tell u anything ever again

hyung, that was like last year chill

 

Ahjussi ♡:

u once had the clap?

 

SUNRISE:

first of all it wasnt the clap it was herpes

 

Kookie Dough:

what a distinction 

 

SUNRISE:

second of all, i didnt have either

i just thought i did bc i had an itching problem but i was just allergic to our detergent 

 

Romantic:

oh yea i remember 

u came crying to my room in the middle of the night

 

SUNRISE:

shut up joon

 

Romantic:

‘JOOONIEEEEE I HAVE A STD I SWEAR TO GOOOODDDDDDD’

 

SUNRISE:

i hate u joon

 

FairyFloss:

he texted me and sent me his will

it was written in ketchup on a napkin 

 

Joons_Only:

lol

 

Kookie Dough:

wht i get?

 

SUNRISE:

my love and support from the sky

 

Kookie Dough:

ugh useless

 

SUNRISE:

(ง’̀-‘́)ง

 

Taeddy Bear:

so u can clap now hyung?

 

SUNRISE:

uhhh yep

 

Taeddy Bear:

(๑>◡<๑)

 

Ahjussi ♡:

its far too early for ths

 

Joons_Only:

look at a clock and then come talk to me

 

Ahjussi ♡:

its far too early for tht

 

FairyFloss:

lmao

 

Taeddy Bear:

hyung wht was ur good news?

 

SUNRISE:

oh right

ty taehyung for caring

 

Taeddy Bear:

。◕‿◕。

 

Kookie Dough:

hey! i care!

 

Romantic:

u didnt even ask abt it

 

Kookie Dough:

but i showed up

its the thought tht counts

 

FairyFloss:

i see wht u saying

a LOT of mutants fucked up ppl with their minds

 

Joons_Only:

smh

 

Kookie Dough:

see? the thought is what matters

 

Ahjussi ♡:

if that’s the case u two dummies should know ur currently in close vicinity to the sun

 

Kookie Dough:

pfft

im close to the sun whenever jinnie hyung or taetae smiles so

 

Joons_Only:

kookie what u want for dinner?

 

Romantic:

how come he gets food when he compliments u but i get insults?

 

Joons_Only:

shut up joonie

 

FairyFloss:

HAHAHA

 

Kookie Dough:

(ʃ⌣́,⌣́ƪ) hmmmmm

give me everything we got

 

Ahjussi ♡:

u fking vulture

 

SUNRISE:

guyssss its my turn nowww

 

Taeddy Bear:

go ahead hyung

 

SUNRISE:

thx taeberry

 

Romantic:

so this news?

 

SUNRISE:

my car will be finished in two days!!!

 

Kookie Dough:

...

 

FairyFloss:

...

 

Taeddy Bear:

((((o゚▽゚)o))) yaay!!!

good for u hobi hyung

 

Joons_Only:

what the hell? thats not good news

good news is ‘hey i found a gold brick’ or ‘i met g dragon/beyonce/both’ or ‘im picking up my car rn’

ur news is just...moderate

 

SUNRISE:

(° o°)! *betrayed gasp*

moderate! nothing abt me is moderate!

 

FairyFloss:

hes right

his dance is super mega out of this world and then his clothes are just downright horrible

no moderation 

 

SUNRISE:

see?

.

.

.

hey!

 

Romantic:

(⌒▽⌒)

 

Joons_Only:

point is i took time out of my life for this

u should’ve made it worthwhile 

 

SUNRISE:

any moment with me is worthwhile! right guys?

 

Taeddy bear:

right! (✿◠‿◠)

 

Kookie Dough:

if u say so

 

Ahjussi ♡:

its really 50/50

 

SUNRISE:

THE NERVE

 


 

 

Kookie Dough:

ummm

 

FairyFloss:

what? a girl talked to you?

 

SUNRISE:

ctwwl

 

FairyFloss:

ok now wtf is this?

 

SUNRISE:

“crawling the walls with laughter”

 

Joons_Only:

u need to shorten ur abbreviations 

 

SUNRISE:

mind ur business old man

 

Joons_Only:

call me wht u want 

now matter how old i get i will always look better than u

 

FairyFloss:

HOBI HAS BEEN FLAMBÉED

LOLOLOLOL

 

SUNRISE:

i dnt kno why i hang out w u ppl

 

Ahjussi ♡:

to feel better abt urself

main reason ur living with namjoon

 

SUNRISE:

true true

every time he falls down the steps or breaks his own shit i just think to myself ‘at least im not that guy’

 

Romantic:

‘that guy’ is abt to fight u hyung

 

FairyFloss:

be careful namjoon hyung u might punch urself

 

Romantic:

i hereby retract all former statements of loving park jimin

 

SUNRISE:

u cant retract a law of the universe joon

 

FairyFloss:

(¬‿¬)

 

Kookie Dough:

i have smth very important to say u idiots so listen to me

 

Ahjussi ♡:

did he just call me an idiot? ay, kookie, wya?

 

Joons_Only:

boi stays rude

i feed him and clothe him and let him be in my presence and look how he repays me

 

Kookie Dough:

TAEHYUNG IS HURT!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

WHAT! 

 

SUNRISE:

where is he? what happened? who did it?

omfg i can feel a murderous rage overcoming me

 

Joons_Only:

kookie? kookie?

 

FairyFloss:

jungkook! answer us u fucker!

 

Romantic:

JEON JUNGKOOK!!!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i give these bitches in this school the benefit of the doubt and they hurt my taehyung

wheres my nunchucks? jin hyung? nunchucks? THE ONE WITH THE SPIKES

 

Joons_Only:

probably beside my pink set under the couch

 

SUNRISE:

...what the hell do yall be doing in ur apartment? whats with all the weapons?

 

FairyFloss:

nevermind that

where is jungkook? 

 

Romantic:

he has five seconds to respond or im just setting fire to the school

get everybody in one swoop

 

Ahjussi ♡:

makes sense makes sense ill get the gasoline out my closet

 

SUNRISE:

( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

 

Kookie Dough:

ok im here calm down

 

Joons_Only:

calm down. calm down? CALM DOWN?! u wanna die lil boi? wheres my tae baby? is he ok? who hurt him?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

u know wht? just share ur location with me

 

Kookie Dough:

uh wht? nobody hurt taehyung guys

 

FairyFloss:

then whts wrong with him? 

 

SUNRISE:

and why’d u disappear u bitch?!

 

Kookie Dough:

oh sorry hyungs

we were painting in the stairwell and tae slipped and went down a flight of stairs

 

FairyFloss:

A FLIGHT?!

 

Romantic:

IS HE OK?!?!

 

Kookie Dough:

i thought he was still falling so i dropped my phone after i went past the initial shock and went to retrieve him

hes fine he only bruised his side so now we’re in his kitchen getting him a bag of peas

sorry i scared u guys (◞‸◟;)

 

Joons_Only:

...im coming over

 

Kookie Dough:

what but hyung! i said hes ok!

 

Joons_Only:

u said he hurt his side

he needs to lay down he needs some cuddles and some good food

im coming over so meet me in the lobby in like 15 minutes

make it thirty i need to stop by the store for supplies

 

Kookie Dough:

omf fine

 

Ahjussi ♡:

when u get there hyung ft me so i can see him

 

Joons_Only:

ok

 

SUNRISE:

jungkook really almost got that entire university burned to the ground smh

 

FairyFloss:

well my heart is permanently lodged in my throat

 

Romantic:

i cnt believe i pulled out the beast for no reason like i was 100% ready to commit mass murder and arson

 

Ahjussi ♡:

mood

Chapter Text

Kookie Dough:

sos

hyung is driving me nuts

 

FairyFloss:

sos? 

i think u meant lol

 

Ahjussi ♡:

go to sleep jimin

 

FairyFloss:

ok

 

Romantic:

hmm

 

Kookie Dough:

HEY! YOU!

 

Romantic:

me? what did i do?

 

Kookie Dough:

come get ur boyfriend before i kill him

 

SUNRISE:

what he do? 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

from wht i saw in our facetime he is making food for taehyung

 

SUNRISE:

ooh what kind?

 

Kookie Dough:

ur missing the point hyung

 

SUNRISE:

which was?

 

Kookie Dough:

namjoon hyung! dnt think i didnt notice u disappeared 

 

Romantic:

...the number you have dialed is currently unavailable 

 

SUNRISE:

lmfao (*≧▽≦)

 

Kookie Dough:

i hate u ppl

 

FairyFloss:

wht do u mean ‘u ppl’? koreans? u hate koreans?!?! RACISM

 

Ahjussi ♡:

jungkook is korean too jimin

 

FairyFloss:

since when?

 

SUNRISE:

smh goodNIGHT JIMIN

 

FairyFloss:

i cnt sleep i need to use the bathroom

 

SUNRISE:

then go do that

 

FairyFloss:

i have to wait a minute

the bathroom’s on commercial

 

Kookie Dough:

...

 

Romantic:

...

 

SUNRISE:

...

 

FairyFloss:

oh its over now good

 

Ahjussi ♡:

smh

 

Kookie Dough:

and im the dumb one

 

SUNRISE:

yes u are

 

FairyFloss:

gn everybody

 

Romantic:

gn jimin

 

Kookie Dough:

wait wait wait 

 

SUNRISE:

what?

 

Kookie Dough:

i think ive been distracted from my main issue

 

Ahjussi ♡:

u had an issue? 

 

Kookie Dough:

i think so

???

 

Romantic:

who cares its late

peace out bitches

 

SUNRISE:

see u joon

lol i just saw him leave his room and go to the kitchen

hes sleeping on the kitchen floor

 

Ahjussi ♡:

are you ppl high or something?

 

SUNRISE:

no hyung

our apartment’s only on the third floor

 

Ahjussi ♡:

goodbye hoseok

 

SUNRISE:

see ya im going to sleep

 

Kookie Dough:

ok night hyungs (ノ゚∇゚)

oh 

wait

NAMJOON HYUNG

 

Joons_Only:

stop snitching bitch and come eat before the food gets cold

 

Kookie Dough:

fine

 


 

 

SUNRISE:

♪└|∵|┐♪ its taesday everybody!!!!

 

FairyFloss:

~(˘▾˘)~

 

Kookie Dough:

♪♪\(^ω^\)( /^ω^)/♪♪

 

Ahjussi ♡:

it’s Wednesday idiots

 

Kookie Dough:

IT IS?!?!

 

Romantic:

indeed it is

 

Taeddy Bear:

hi hyungs! hi kookie!

 

SUNRISE:

taeddy!!! are u ok? jk said u fell down the stairs

 

Taeddy Bear:

im ok hyung

 

Ahjussi ♡:

u sure?

 

Taeddy Bear:

mmhmm

it didnt really hurt plus jinnie hyung came over and took care of me

 

Kookie Dough:

me too!

 

Joons_Only:

shut ur ass up boi

u sat on the couch sulking the whole time

 

Kookie Dough:

bc u slapped me in the head every time u passed me!

 

Joons_Only:

bc u had an attitude 

 

FairyFloss:

sound logic

 

SUNRISE:

lol

hey, did u guys get the email abt the showcase?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

we are students here hobi

ofc we got the email

 

Kookie Dough:

wht email?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i stand corrected

 

Romantic:

the showcase is being moved from the end of november to december 15

 

FairyFloss:

isnt tht right before winter break?

 

Joons_Only:

yeppers

apparently the school board decided to host some banquet or something so the showcase has become a full-day event

theres gonna be a schedule and everything

 

FairyFloss:

im wearing confusion like its in season rn bc i thought the showcase was to raise money for charity

 

SUNRISE:

look boi we’re not the fking school board ok? we only kno wht we r told and wht we are TOLD is tht the date has been moved and adjustments will be made

ok?

 

FairyFloss:

ok jeez

 

Ahjussi ♡:

hey taehyung u have art history 2day right?

want me to tag along?

 

Taeddy Bear:

i dnt think so

did u want to? OH u did say u liked art history

last time

 

Kookie Dough:

pretty sure tht was just a cover story

 

Ahjussi ♡:

??

 

Taeddy Bear:

its ok ahjussi u can come if u want

 

Joons_Only:

i thought u were supposed to go grocery shopping 2day?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

we dnt need food tht bad

 

Kookie Dough:

WHAT

 

Joons_Only:

look wht uve done

u released the beast

 

SUNRISE:

ooooh

 

Kookie Dough:

HOW DARE U WASTE THE FIVE SECONDS IT TOOK U TO WRITE THT LIE LIKE THAT

FOOD IS AN ESSENTIAL TO LIFE LIKE WATER AND AIR AND MONEY

 

FairyFloss:

ummm

 

Kookie Dough:

IF I GET HOME AND THAT FRIDGE IS BARE I WILL FORSAKE ALL KOREAN UPBRINGING AND I WILL BRING DOWN A FURY UNHINGED ON YOUR PALE ASS

YOU FEEL ME?!?!

 

Romantic:

(゜-゜)

 

FairyFloss:

(●__●)

 

Joons_Only:

told u yoongi

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i guess im going to the store sorry tae

 

Taeddy Bear:

its ok ahjussi

 

SUNRISE:

i bet yoongi hyungs shaking in fear rn

 

Romantic:

who knew the maknae could be so scary?

 

Kookie Dough:

hey tae hows the project going with minjoon?

 

Romantic:

wht a subtle way to change the subject

 

Ahjussi ♡:

its a valid question from the lil heathen 

tae?

 

Taeddy Bear:

hm?

 

Kookie Dough:

ur art history project?

 

SUNRISE:

ur not doing it by yourself are you?

 

FairyFloss:

well do u want him to do it with minjoon?

 

SUNRISE:

well no

but i dnt want him to be responsible for such a big project ALONE

esp if tht ass gets a good grade off of tae’s hard work 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i can supervise group meetings

keep minjoon in line

 

Joons_Only:

oh thts a good idea

 

Taeddy Bear:

dw hyungs

my teacher emailed after last class and said i can do a single project w/o minjoon ssi

she said i can just recreate three artworks and then write an essay on the artist i drew out of the hat

 

FairyFloss:

so u dnt have to work with minjoon? at all?

 

Taeddy Bear:

nope minnie i dnt

 

FairyFloss:

ok cool

 

SUNRISE:

hey we should practice later

 

Joons_Only:

ugh ew

 

Romantic:

why? we have an extra two weeks

 

SUNRISE:

and? 

 

Romantic:

and i hurt my ankle

 

FairyFloss:

is it swollen? fractured? broken? twisted?

 

Romantic:

well no

 

FairyFloss:

then stfu ur fine

hyung

 

Romantic:

tacking it on at the end doesn’t ease the pain of my soul

 

FairyFloss:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

Joons_Only:

namjoon and his long list of aches and pain aside, wht abt taehyung?

 

Taeddy Bear:

im fine with practice hyung

im all better now \(^▽^@)ノ

 

Kookie Dough:

but ur side is all messed up

 

Taeddy Bear:

its only a lil tender

 

SUNRISE:

nononono u need rest

we’ll revisit this in a few days then

 

Taeddy Bear:

but!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

everyone, just practice the song then

 

SUNRISE:

aye captain

 

Kookie Dough:

aye captain

 

Joons_Only:

i dnt need practice

 

Ahjussi ♡:

*sigh*

Chapter Text


[We’re Not Small, We’re Proportionate]

 

Yoongi:

hey jimin r up?

if ur not its ok i just well hoseok said some stuff the other day and it made me think a lot and i realized tht recently our close friendship has kinda died down

and i kno i waited a long time to say smth but i didnt kno wht to say or how to feel abt it but its the middle of the night and i cnt fall alseep bc i keep thinking about it

im sorry if u felt like ive been ignoring u or tht u couldnt tell me stuff or tht i liked taehyung more than u

 

Jimin:

hyung wtf theres not a lick of light outside

besides, its ok

 

Yoongi:

OH! Youre awake!

and its not ok jimin

ive been the worst second best friend and im sorry

i mean, if i wasnt hanging out with the group, i usually spent my time w u but now i spend more time with taehyung or hobi than u and i dnt want u to think its bc i like them better

well hobi at least, taes pretty fking gr8

 

Jimin:

lmao

hyung, listen, ur not a bad second best friend trust me and if anything its both our faults 

did u stop texting me to hang out? sure

did i text u either tho? no

plus the tae thing doesn’t bother me bc if i had to choose between the entire world and taehyung the world would be going to shit right tf now ok? i understand the pull he has and i 100% do NOT object to u hanging out with hoseok hyung ok?

we just have to be more balanced is all

 

Yoongi:

yea ok i can do tht

i am more balanced than a ball on a seal’s nose...forget i said tht

wht r u doing rn?

 

Jimin:

other than texting u? bemoaning my loss of sleep at 1 o’clock in the morning

 

Yoongi:

wanna hang?

 

Jimin:

who the hell still speaks like that? tbh u sound like a 40-yr old pervert trying to catfish a minor rn...but ok

 

Yoongi:

ok ill come pick u from the dorms and we’ll go out

 

Jimin:

where we going? how should i dress? sweats or what?

 

Yoongi:

hmmm

we have school tmr

 

Jimin:

i dnt have a class

 

Yoongi:

then lets go drinking!

 

Jimin:

hell yeah bitch!

hyung*

see u soon

 

Yoongi:

ok

 


 

[Happy Feet]

 

DancePrince:

on a scale of one to i hate life, im pushing a solid infinity and beyond

 

DanceSlave:

wtf wrong w you?

nvm idc 

 

DanceKing:

savage

 

DancePrince:

u rlly dnt care?

[image sent]

 

not tht u fiends deserve an update but yoongi hyung and i reconciled and went partying last night

a little too hard honestly

 

DanceSlave:

AN ANGEL

 

DanceKing:

MY EYES HAVE BEEN BLESSED HES BEAUTIFUL I WANT HIM TO BE MY LIL SPOON

 

DanceSlave:

look my friend the last thing i wanna find out on a nice friday morning is ur weird sex fantasies alrite?

 

DanceKing:

literally the tamest shit on the planet wht i just said

i couldve said i wanna bend him over and see if his ass could turn as pink as his lips but did i go tht far? no!

 

DancePrince:

u just did!

 

DanceKing:

I WAS PROVOKED

 

DanceSlave:

( ̄◇ ̄;)

by who boi? by who?

 

DancePrince:

my head hurts too much for this

 

DanceKing:

who cares abt u? what did u guys do last night?

 

DancePrince:

who wants to kno?

 

DanceKing:

ben allen rodriguez the fourteenth

who do u think bitch?

 

DanceSlave:

i think u gave hobi hyung an erection and now hes all grumpy 

 

DanceKing:

u wanna find out?

 

DanceSlave:

no

jimin spill the beans

 

DancePrince:

how come hes ‘hyung’ and im just ‘jimin’?

 

DanceSlave:

mysteries of the universe

 

DanceKing:

i will send a dic pic rn if i do not receive info

5

 

DanceSlave:

jimin SAVE ME!!!

 

DancePrince:

eh i think hes bluffing

 

DanceKing:

4

3

2

 

DanceSlave:

the guys walks around his house ass naked and wears the ugliest shit on the planet

he has no shame this is no bluff

 

DanceKing:

1

0

do u want an old pic or a recent one?

 

DanceSlave:

JIMIN!!!!!!

 

DancePrince:

ok! DAMN

 

DanceSlave:

dnt take tht tone w me young man

 

DancePrince:

...

anyways, we decided to go drinking beforehand so when yoongi hyung came to get me we got some snacks from the closest convenience store so we wouldnt be drinking on an empty stomach

 

DanceSlave:

ooooh what u eat?

 

DanceKing:

keep ur food fetish out of this chat pls thnx

 

DanceSlave:

(‾-ƪ‾) i spot a flaming hypocrite

and i dnt have a food fetish

 

DancePrince:

yes u do

after we ate, we went to a bar and had some beers and these guys bought us some shots 

 

DanceSlave:

if this story ends with u getting a bj in the bathroom like many of ur exploits pls pls pls keep tht shit to urself

unless it was yoongi doing it

 

DanceKing:

i can gurantee death for park jimin if tht is the case

 

DancePrince:

(*゜ー゜)

 

DanceKing:

did he?!?!

 

DancePrince:

NO! and even if he did i wouldnt tell ur ass now

 

DanceKing:

i have ways of making grown men talk

 

DanceSlave:

omfg i cnt believe i picked up my phone for this

jimin pls continue ur story

 

DancePrince:

ty kookie

after drinking we danced and then we drank some more and then we danced some more

i did NOT receive a bj (this time) but i did get some numbers

 

DanceSlave:

id congratulate u but this is the type of behavior hobi hyung and i want to wean u off of if u ever have a chance with taehyung

 

DancePrince:

oh shit u right 

 

DanceSlave:

ofc im right

 

DanceKing:

doubtful

jimin, delete those numbers

 

DancePrince:

yes sir (⌒‐⌒)ゝ

im not sure wht happened after we left the bar but i did wake up with new hair

 

DanceSlave:

new hair? did u shave ur old hair off?

 

DanceKing:

smh

 

DancePrince:

dancing really does take up too much of jk’s mental capacity 

 

DanceSlave:

which is why i dance better than you

 

DancePrince:

LIES

 

DanceKing:

ok listen u both suck so chill

 

DancePrince:

( ̄□ ̄)

 

DanceSlave:

( ̄□ ̄)

 

DanceKing:

wht that head looking like jimin? u went from to pink to wht?

 

DancePrince:

i dnt wnt to tell u now

 

DanceKing:

jimin stop playing games

 

DanceSlave:

i dont even care

jimin looks like breakfast lunch and dinner no matter his hair color

 

DancePrince:

why thank you jungkook

 

DanceSlave:

those hairSTYLES however

 

DancePrince:

凸(`ι _´メ)

u ppl get nothing

 

DanceKing:

that was all jungkook jimin

jimin?

jimin!

JIMIN!!!!!!

Chapter Text

Joons_Only:

So who’s going home for chuseok?

 

SUNRISE:

wht?

 

Joons_Only:

Chuseok? this monday? we’re out of school til thurs?

 

SUNRISE:

wht? since when?

 

Joons_Only:

smh

anyone else?

 

FairyFloss:

jk and i are actually leaving monday 

my dad is gonna pick us up from the train station

 

SUNRISE:

i wish i had a hometown buddy

 

Joons_Only:

ummm jk said he wasn’t going

 

Kookie Dough:

sorry hyung i lied 

 

Joons_Only:

why?

 

Kookie Dough:

when u asked u were offering to buy me a ticket and i already use up all ur stuff so i lied

 

SUNRISE:

how maknae-like

ud eat him out of house and home but he cnt buy u a train ticket 

 

FairyFloss:

shut up hobi hyung

leave kookie alone

 

SUNRISE:

literally was just playing chill j-rex

 

FairyFloss:

rawr

 

Joons_Only:

chuseok ppl focus

whos going home?

 

Kookie Dough:

are u going home hyung?

 

Joons_Only:

yes kook u were there when i made plans

 

Kookie Dough:

oh right

 

FairyFloss:

lmao

hey yoongi hyung up yet?

 

Joons_Only:

u mean from ur ill-fated late night/early morning extravaganza? 

 

FairyFloss:

yep

 

Joons_Only:

he woke up like an hour ago and has been in the bathroom regretting life ever since 

quick question: why are his hands blood red? did he finally snap and kill somebody?

 

FairyFloss:

u rlly wanna know?

 

Joons_Only:

yes jimin

its why i asked

 

FairyFloss:

if u werent my hyung istg

[image sent]

 

feast ur eyes on this fellas

 

SUNRISE:

...ur hair

its red

 

FairyFloss:

indeed

 

SUNRISE:

ITS RED

 

Kookie Dough:

ur hot fires my friend

 

FairyFloss:

ofc

 

Joons_Only:

no lie jimin 11/10 would slide in ur dms

 

FairyFloss:

aww thx hyung

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ur ass need to thank me 

im the one who did it

 

FairyFloss:

u wanted to!

who was the one who said and i quote “jimin ur hair looks like bubblegum ice cream and i have a severe hatred for that shit...but i like red velvet cupcakes”?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

well bubblegum ice cream is super nasty

 

Kookie Dough:

preaching to the choir hyung

 

FairyFloss:

hush up jungkook ive seen u devour a gallon tub of bubblegum ice cream b4

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ugh is this tru?

 

Kookie Dough:

i regretted it immediately 

 

FairyFloss:

bc u threw it all back up

 

Kookie Dough:

why r u exposing me jimin?

 

SUNRISE:

does anyone rlly need a special occasion to roast jeon jungkook? i dnt think so

 

Romantic:

lol tru

 

Ahjussi ♡:

where the hell did u come from?

 

Romantic:

my moms belly

 

Joons_Only:

babe pls

 

Romantic:

wht?

 

Kookie Dough:

hyung r u going home for chuseok?

 

Romantic:

uh no my parents won an all expenses paid cruise and wont be back until november

no point in wasting money to be alone at home when i can do that here for free

 

FairyFloss:

oh

 

Joons_Only:

u can come with me joonie?

 

Romantic:

fuck no

 

SUNRISE:

damn

 

FairyFloss:

REJECTED

 

Joons_Only:

and why not?

 

Romantic:

ur dad keeps telling me he hates the sight of my face and that if he could get away with it, hed bury me in ur backyard

 

Kookie Dough:

( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

 

Romantic:

thts not even the worst

last time i went his mother “slipped” and somehow all my clothes fell into mud

i had to wear the same underwear for three days bc suddenly “the washer didnt work”

AND his older brother keeps calling me nutjoon or namjoke or wtvr he can think of

 

SUNRISE:

DAMN

 

Joons_Only:

i didnt know any of this why didnt you tell me abt this?

 

Romantic:

i didnt want to start any problems and i thought if u knew they didnt like me u’d feel compelled to dump me or smth

 

Ahjussi ♡:

which he does every two weeks anyway

 

Kookie Dough:

yea but playfully

 

Joons_Only:

namjoon if u were hit by a car rn and needed an organ, id give u every single one i have ok? i totally love you and my family being grade A assholes wont change that

in fact how abt i stay and we celebrate chuseok 2gether?

 

Romantic:

jin hyung no

 

FairyFloss:

why not? in fact, ill stay too

 

Kookie Dough:

me too

 

SUNRISE:

me three

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ill see u bitches thursday

 

Romantic:

nobodys staying behind with me ok? jimin and jk, i kno u guys have a whole list of places u wanted to visit and jinnie hyung i know u miss ur parents

and hoseok, im tired of seeing ur face

 

SUNRISE:

\(`0´)/

 

Romantic:

i see u guys every day theres no need to ruin ur plans bc ill be alone

 

Taeddy Bear:

u wnt be alone hyung

we can hang out 

 

Kookie Dough:

Tae!

 

Taeddy Bear:

Kook!

 

Kookie Dough:

TAEKOOK POWER ☆

 

Taeddy Bear:

TAEKOOK POWER ☆

 

Joons_Only:

Tae, ur not going back home for chuseok?

 

Taeddy Bear:

no

 

SUNRISE:

why not?

 

Taeddy Bear:

theres no reason 

 

Joons_Only:

i thought u said u missed ur house in daegu

 

Ahjussi ♡:

wait ur from daegu?

 

Taeddy Bear:

yep!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

me too!

 

Taeddy Bear:

thts amazing ahjussi! 

╰(˵ヘωヘ✿)╯its like we were meant to be together!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

cute

 

FairyFloss:

mmm

 

Kookie Dough:

taehyung! u and yoongi hyung should get a ship name too like us! 

then u can have like a cute ritual for whenever u see each other

 

Taeddy Bear:

thts a great idea!

 

FairyFloss:

i hereby call a happy feet convention brb

 

Romantic:

a what?

 

 

[Happy Feet]

 

DancePrince:

wht are u doing kook?

 

DanceSlave:

wht?

 

DanceKing:

let me refresh ur memory

‘u should get a ship name’ wtf boi! are u trying to cause a jealous-fueled rage within me?

 

DanceSlave:

why would yoongi hyung and taehyung cause a jealous fueled rage????

.

.

.

OHHHHH

 

DancePrince:

(-‸ლ)

 

 

[Together Forever]

 

Kookie Dough:

actually ship names are for losers

 

Taeddy Bear:

( ຈ ﹏ ຈ ) but we have one kookie 

u dnt like it?

 

Joons_Only:

wtf jungkook

 

Kookie Dough:

No WAIT 

I LOVE OUR SHIP NAME #TaekookForLife

 

Taeddy Bear:

but u said they were for losers

 

Kookie Dough:

uhhh that was a mistype

i meant to say ship names were for lovers

 

SUNRISE:

lovers?!

 

Kookie Dough:

when u love someone, u should have a ship name

my ship name with ice cream is ‘Kookies & Kream’ and my ship name with money is ‘Jeony’

clever isnt it?

 

FairyFloss:

no

 

Taeddy Bear:

c(ˊᗜˋ*c) ur so silly kookie!

ahjussi, how abt taegi for our ship name? 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

taegi? hmmm 

i like it

 

Taeddy Bear:

(๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و yes!

 

 

[Happy Feet]

 

DanceSlave:

my bad fellas

 

DanceKing:

ur dead to me

 

DancePrince:

im gonna push u off the train

 

DanceSlave:

(꒪⌓꒪)

Chapter Text

FairyFloss:

we should do smth today

 

Romantic:

who?

 

FairyFloss:

all of us hyung

its the last day we’ll all be together 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

for five days

 

SUNRISE:

that is a long damn time

omg i think im gonna cry (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

 

Taeddy Bear:

dont cry hyung its ok

we all love each other no matter where we are

 

Joons_Only:

guys chill it’s only a few days

 

Kookie Dough:

IM GONNA MISS YOU HOBI HYUNG!! 

.·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.

 

FairyFloss:

IM GONNA MISS JIN HYUNGS COOKING 

˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚

 

Kookie Dough:

OMF WHY DID U REMIND ME

。゚ヽ(゚´Д`)ノ゚。

 

Ahjussi ♡:

it wont even be a week

 

Romantic:

ok u busan buffoons relax

wht should we do today then? as a group?

 

Taeddy Bear:

ooh ill bring the friendship bracelets!

 

Joons_Only:

friendship bracelets?

 

SUNRISE:

me and the little ones made the group buddy bracelets for everyone

 

Kookie Dough:

i thought we agreed to call them chummy chains

 

FairyFloss:

does it matter?

 

Kookie Dough:

ummmmm yes

 

Ahjussi ♡:

are we meeting up or wht?

 

FairyFloss:

yes we are hyung

wht should we do?

 

Kookie Dough:

ooh ooh lets take taehyung bowling!!

=( ^o^)ノ ...…___o

 

Romantic:

ur obsessed 

 

Taeddy Bear:

i dnt know how to bowl

 

Kookie Dough:

thts why we’ll teach you! you’ll be a bowling champion before you know it!

 

Joons_Only:

i dnt feel like going bowling though

 

SUNRISE:

me neither

 

Kookie Dough:

*groan*

 

FairyFloss:

let’s go to the carnival

 

Ahjussi ♡:

carnival? is it open?

 

Romantic:

its always open hyung

 

Joons_Only:

its a year-round carnival

 

Ahjussi ♡:

then how come i only get coupons for the summer?

 

FairyFloss:

( ̄ー ̄)

 

SUNRISE:

smh

so who wants to go to the carnival?

 

FairyFloss:

ME

 

Joons_Only:

ME

 

SUNRISE:

ME

 

Kookie Dough:

ehh

 

Taeddy Bear:

wht do u do at a carnival?

 

Joons_Only:

...

 

Romantic:

have u never been to a carnival before?

 

Taeddy Bear:

i dont know

i dont think so

 

Ahjussi :

so ig we’re going to the carnival

 

FairyFloss:

YES!!! ヾ(@°▽°@)ノ

 


 

 

Joons_Only:

ok these bracelets are cute

 

Ahjussi ♡:

what is ‘OT7’?

 

Taeddy Bear:

it means ‘one true seven’ ahjussi

 

SUNRISE:

it means we are a top tier squad and cant be broken up

 

FairyFloss:

yep we are an infinity group 

together forever and ever and ever 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ok great but wtf is taking namjoon and kookie so long with the admission bracelets?

 

Romantic:

stop being so damn impatient hyung

we’re coming back now

 

Ahjussi ♡:

what took twenty minutes to get a couple of paper bracelets??

 

Romantic:

one,, jungkook almost fought some guy in line for bumping into him

 

Joons_Only:

jeon jungkook

 

Kookie Dough:

i shouldn’t be disrespected on my day

 

FairyFloss:

*sigh*

 

Romantic:

two,, i got us the express admission tickets so we could skip the lines for the rides and the guy for those bracelets was super slow bc he kept staring at jungkook

 

Kookie Dough:

pretty sure he was staring at you

 

Romantic:

huh? why’d you say that?

 

Kookie Dough:

uhh cuz he said “those fucking dimples” and your dimples are so deep i could see the core of the earth in them

 

SUNRISE:

i concur

 

Joons_Only:

wht guy? wht did he look like? wheres that booth?

 

SUNRISE:

ooh u jealous 

 

Joons_Only:

boi hell no look at me

i just want HIM to see me so he know how minimal of a chance hed ever have with my man

come joon lets go back i have a question abt these bracelets

 

Romantic:

ummm

 

Ahjussi ♡:

HEY! AT LEAST GIVE US OUR FUCKING BRACELETS! 

 

FairyFloss:

why text and scream irl at the same time?

 

Kookie Dough:

ppl are staring at us funny

 

SUNRISE:

cuz youre twerking

 

Kookie Dough:

im excited

 

FairyFloss:

hey wheres taehyung?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

huh? what?

 

Kookie Dough:

he was just beside hobi hyung

 

Ahjussi ♡:

HOBI!

 

SUNRISE:

idfk! 

 

FairyFloss:

jfc we lost him! jin hyung is gonna strangle us!

 

Taeddy Bear:

im ok hyungs

 

FairyFloss:

Tae! Where are you!

 

Taeddy Bear:

with mr. nam

 

Kookie Dough:

who?

 

Taeddy Bear:

Mr. Nam

he lost his daughter in the carnival and needs my help 

hes taking me to the parking lot to help find her

 

SUNRISE:

hes taking u WHERE

 

Taeddy Bear:

he said he thinks she went back to the family van

 

SUNRISE:

A VAN!! YOONGI HYUNG!!!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

jk lets go!

 

Kookie Dough:

ok!

 

FairyFloss:

hurry up!

 

Taeddy Bear:

whats wrong?

 

SUNRISE:

nothing! just wait for yoongi hyung and jungkook ok?

 

Taeddy Bear:

 q(❂‿❂)p are they coming to help find the lil girl?

 

FairyFloss:

mmhmm yeah sure

 

Joons_Only:

guys you shouldve seen that dudes face lol he looked like he was abt to cry

especially when i kissed joon (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ

 

Romantic:

i found it mean babe

 

Joons_Only:

letting him thinking he could get w a man of ur level is mean

he was a six at best and u can’t downgrade after me, ud have to find a 13 or smth

wheres taegikook?

 

SUNRISE:

ummmmm

jimin

 

FairyFloss:

huh?

 

Joons_Only:

did they sneak into the carnival or smth?

 

SUNRISE:

or smth

 

Taeddy Bear:

ooh he says he has candy

 

Kookie Dough:

dnt take the candy!

 

Romantic:

who has candy?

 

SUNRISE:

nobody

 

Taeddy Bear:

mr. nam

 

Joons_Only:

who is mr. nam?

 

FairyFloss:

nobody

 

Taeddy Bear:

my new friend

 

Ahjussi ♡:

are u @ the parking lot yet?

 

Taeddy Bear:

yep ahjussi! we’re looking for his van now

 

Romantic:

van? wht? who is mr. nam?

 

Taeddy Bear:

he lost his daughter and needs my help to find her so we’re going to his van

 

Joons_Only:

W H A T

 

Taeddy Bear:

oh! i see u ahjussi! ヽ(^O^)ノ

 

Kookie Dough:

wave ur hand tae! high!

 

Taeddy Bear:

ok kookie!

im waving! do u see me?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yes i do

brb fellas got business to take care of

 

FairyFloss:

oh thank god my heart

 

SUNRISE:

boi my soul 

 

Joons_Only:

i left for five min and u let taehyung get kidnapped

 

FairyFloss:

actually u left for ten minutes and yoongi hyung let taehyung get kidnapped

he was the oldest after all

 

SUNRISE:

valid point

 

Joons_Only:

and u guys dnt have two eyes?

 

SUNRISE:

i dnt think so

 

FairyFloss:

sometimes i need glasses so

 

Romantic:

i suggest we pull out the wheel on these fools babe

 

SUNRISE:

Kim Namjoon!!!

 

Romantic:

┐( ̄ヘ ̄)┌ u deserve it

 

Kookie Dough:

guys tae and i are heading back

 

Joons_Only:

we’ll get back to tht

good bring me my tae baby you inattentive heathen 

 

FairyFloss:

and yoongi hyung?

 

Taeddy Bear:

ahjussi is so nice (◕‿◕)♡

hes gonna help mr. nam find his daughter 

 

Romantic:

oh i bet he is

 

Joons_Only:

i hope they look hard for her

maybe i should help

 

Ahjussi ♡:

no need

 

Taeddy Bear:

ahjussi! did u find her?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

we sure did 

 

Taeddy Bear:

ur so gr8 hyung! ♡ ~('▽^人)

 

SUNRISE:

see? no need for the wheel

 

Joons_Only:

ill be speaking to u l8r

all of you

 

Kookie Dough:

(/゚Д゚)/ BUT!

 

Joons_Only:

no buts!

now lets go ride some rides! come on tae!

 

Taeddy Bear:

oh im so excited!!!

oh ahjussi whats tht red stuff on ur pants?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

someone dropped a hot dog

 

SUNRISE:

the clumsiness of ppl amazes me

INSIDE WE GO!!!!

 

Taeddy Bear:

ヾ(o≧∀≦o)ノ゙

Chapter Text

FairyFloss:

[image sent]

 

heading home guys

 

SUNRISE:

tf u redyed ur hair?!

 

Joons_Only:

its gonna fall out

 

FairyFloss:

no i didn’t redye my hair its just a wig

 

Joons_Only:

a wig? why r u wearing a wig?

 

FairyFloss:

my mom said if i come home with one more crazy hair color she was shaving my head

i need my hair

 

Ahjussi ♡:

should’ve thought abt tht before u dyed ur hair

 

FairyFloss:

щ(゜ロ゜щ) YOU dyed my hair!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yeah well

 

SUNRISE:

btw its not even nine yet why r u already on a train?

 

Kookie Dough:

we got an early train

 

Ahjussi ♡:

why? it doesnt even take tht long to get to busan

 

FairyFloss:

to spend more time with the family hyung

 

Ahjussi ♡:

thats the same reason i got a late train

im not spending more time with my cousins then i have to

 

Joons_Only:

yesung’s coming?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yes he is

fking asshole

 

Romantic:

lol u hate him so bad

 

Ahjussi ♡:

everybody hates him 

pretty sure his ass is adopted or was dropped on his head at birth

 

FairyFloss:

who’s yesung?

 

Joons_Only:

yoongi’s cousin

hes born the same year as yoongi and he thinks hes some kind of royalty bc his mom remarried some rich guy

 

Ahjussi ♡:

the guy is not even that rich he just owns a few stores

plus he’s like a serial divorcée so lets see how long it’ll last

 

Kookie Dough:

he doesnt seem tht bad

 

SUNRISE:

yea well yesung smashed yoongi hyungs piano

 

Kookie Dough:

...WHAT

 

FairyFloss:

oh u told me abt this hyung

he smashed it bc yoongi wouldnt let him play it

 

Romantic:

yoongi hyung doesnt let anyone touch his piano so

 

Ahjussi ♡:

he smashed my childhood piano bc hes a bitch and when i go home i will be tempted to smash his face

he destroys a lot of my shit and nobody says anything bc of his stupid stepdad

well fuck him and his stepdad and his mom for having him and his real dad for ever meeting his mom

 

Romantic:

so when are u going home?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

my train is scheduled for ten

i wnt get to daegu until at least midnight

 

SUNRISE:

damn

thts some serious hatred

 

Ahjussi ♡:

if i was the only match to be a donor for him he’d die a painful death

 

Kookie Dough:

◑.◑

damn

 


 

 

SUNRISE:

[image sent]

 

im leaving now guys im gonna miss yall

 

Romantic:

i kno ur leaving hyung

im the one who dropped u off

 

SUNRISE:

u dropped me off bc i dnt want my car to stay at the station 

 

Romantic:

no i dropped u off bc u started crying abt leaving me behind

 

SUNRISE:

。゚(゚´Д`゚)゚。 I MISS U ALREADY MY JOONIE!!!!

 

Romantic:

hyung i left five minutes ago

 

SUNRISE:

be sure to ft me ok? i wanna see u everyday i put a schedule on the fridge

 

FairyFloss:

are u joons bf or is jin hyung? im confused

 

Kookie Dough:

jin hyungs a side piece 

 

Joons_Only:

boi pls im a masterpiece 

 

FairyFloss:

u come in now?

 

Joons_Only:

well joons coming to pick me up and i just finished getting the apartment clean so i have time to speak

 

SUNRISE:

NAMJOON!

 

Romantic:

wht?

 

SUNRISE:

did u hear me abt the schedule? dnt play with me

 

Romantic:

omfg YES 

i will ft u at exactly 10:27 pm tonight i saw the damn schedule

 

Ahjussi ♡:

why 10:27?

 

SUNRISE:

hey yoongi hyung i sent u a ft schedule too 

and 10:27 is usually when the first commercial break comes on in my show

id have abt five minutes to see my sweet lil namjoon

 

Romantic:

im taller than u

 

SUNRISE:

not mentally 

 

Kookie Dough:

wht does tht even mean?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i dnt recall receiving a ft schedule

 

SUNRISE:

yes u do bc u texted me last night 

i quote ‘wtf is this hobi?’ ‘its our ft schedule’ ‘oh ok i’ll remember’

 

Joons_Only:

hey min yoongi im ur roommate wheres my ft schedule?

 

Romantic:

babe im here

 

Joons_Only:

coming

yoongi?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

u dnt even reply to my texts when u go home why would i make a ft schedule? 

 

Joons_Only:

*gasp* i do too reply to ur texts

 

FairyFloss:

u rlly dnt

 

SUNRISE:

yea u dnt

 

Joons_Only:

the betrayal

joonie wya?

 

Romantic:

in the car

 

Joons_Only:

whos gonna bring down my suitcases?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

suitcases?

 

Joons_Only:

i have three 

 

Kookie Dough:

we’re only gonna be gone a few days

 

Joons_Only:

yea well mind ur business

joonie hurry up

 

Romantic:

im coming

 

Taeddy Bear:

good morning everyone! (。♥‿♥。)

 

Kookie:

hey tae! 

 

FairyFloss:

taetae!

 

Taeddy Bear:

minnie! kookie! 

sorry i didnt say bye ths morning but i just woke up

 

FairyFloss:

thts ok tae

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i wish i just woke up

 

Taeddy Bear:

ahjussi! did u leave yet?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

hell no im not leaving until tonight

 

Joons_Only:

be careful with my luggage namjoon!

 

Romantic:

its fking heavy!

 

Taeddy Bear:

jinnie hyung u leaving now?

 

Joons_Only:

oh my tae baby!!!! yep im heading to the station now

 

Taeddy Bear:

dnt forget ur bracelet

 

Joons_Only:

wht bracelet?

 

SUNRISE:

ur buddy bracelet

 

Kookie Dough:

chummy chain*

 

SUNRISE:

buddy bracelet!

 

Kookie Dough:

chummy chain!

 

Joons_Only:

alright warriors calm down

yes tae i have my friendship bracelet

 

FairyFloss:

kookie and me too!

 

Taeddy Bear:

✽-(ˆ▽ˆ)/✽ ✽\(ˆ▽ˆ)-✽

 

SUNRISE:

u better!

i sent a pic of it to my sis and told her she wished she had homies like me lol

 

Ahjussi ♡:

wht did she say back?

 

SUNRISE:

...there r children in this chat

 

Kookie Dough:

who?

 

Joons_Only:

uh you

 

Kookie Dough:

im not a child! im a grown man!

wtf

I SAID I WANTED APPLE JUICE JIMIN!

 

FairyFloss:

im not the damn attendant!

 

Romantic:

but hes not a child

 

Kookie Dough:

ლ( `Д’ ლ) my macaroni and cheese is cold!

 

Joons_Only:

( ̄_ ̄|||)

[image sent]

 

waiting to board yall

 

SUNRISE:

whos tht beside u?

 

Romantic:

me hyung

 

SUNRISE:

u didnt wait for me to board!

 

Romantic:

i had to get jin hyung!

 

SUNRISE:

wooowww

 

Taeddy Bear:

did u board yet hobi hyung?

 

SUNRISE:

yea like five minutes ago

im gonna be home in like two hrs

 

Ahjussi ♡:

not me

i might just accidentally miss my train and stay home

 

Taeddy Bear:

set an alarm so u dnt forget ahjussi 

u might make ur mom sad if u cnt get home

 

Kookie Dough:

so cute n thoughtful

Tae!

 

Taeddy Bear:

Kook!

 

Kookie Dough:

TAEKOOK POWER ☆

 

Taeddy Bear:

TAEKOOK POWER ☆

 

Joons_Only:

yoongi i left u lunch in the fridge

 

Kookie Dough:

i didnt get lunch

 

Joons_Only:

u left b4 me

 

Ahjussi ♡:

what is it?

 

Joons_Only:

jajangmeon

 

Kookie Dough:

dammit!

we should’ve got a later train jimin!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i wouldnt have shared

thx hyung

 

Joons_Only:

ur welcome yoongi

oh its time to board

 

Romantic:

bye babe!

 

Joons_Only:

bye!

stop screaming! ur embarrassing me!

 

FairyFloss:

lmao

 

Ahjussi ♡:

and then there was me *sigh*

 

Taeddy Bear:

ahjussi im here!

if u want we can hang out until its ur time to leave

 

Romantic:

me too! then we’ll drop u off

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i was all for it until namjoon came in

 

SUNRISE:

ꋧ(⁎ˊ̭ સˆ̀)◞₎̵₎

Chapter Text

Romantic:

its official i h8 jung hoseok

 

SUNRISE:

wht? why?

 

Romantic:

im cancelling our 10:27 facetime

 

SUNRISE:

(╯°□°)╯

 

Taeddy Bear:

are u enjoying being home hyung?

 

SUNRISE:

well i WAS 

 

Taeddy Bear:

ヽ(*⌒∇⌒*)ノ

ahjussi joonie hyung and i are having fun too

 

Joons_Only:

isnt it almost ten? shouldnt u guys be at the train station?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

we had things to do

 

Joons_Only:

and if u miss ur train?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

dnt tempt me

 

Joons_Only:

yoongi

 

Ahjussi ♡:

wtvr

 

Kookie Dough:

lmao hey hyungs

 

Joons_Only:

oh my kookie wht u doing?

 

Kookie Dough:

jimin wanted to check out our old dance studio

[image sent]

 

 

SUNRISE:

that mirror extra dirty boi

 

FairyFloss:

like the inside of ur nose

 

Joons_Only:

(☞^o^)☞

 

SUNRISE:

smh 

how u only come on the gc to roast me?

 

FairyFloss:

bc its my right to roast

 

SUNRISE:

well if u keep playing w me i will give u a non-religious baptism 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

lmao

 

Kookie Dough:

*gasp* did yoongi hyung just?

 

Romantic:

did my eyes deceive me?

OW 

 

FairyFloss:

i was just threatened with drowning

 

Ahjussi ♡:

shut ur ass up namjoon

 

Romantic:

ok but why did u bite me?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ur too tall to punch in the nose

 

Romantic:

then punch my arm! dnt bite me!

 

Taeddy Bear:

hyungs that woman @ the other machine is looking at us weird

 

SUNRISE:

she just saw david and Goliath

 

Kookie Dough:

who r they?

 

FairyFloss:

go dance jungkook move

 

Kookie Dough:

stop pushing me!

 

Joons_Only:

tae, where are yall? are yall heading to the train station?

 

Taeddy Bear:

nope

[image sent]

 

 

SUNRISE:

that shirt LOUD

 

Romantic:

like everything in ur closet

 

Joons_Only:

why r u at a laundromat?

 

Romantic:

jung hoseok

 

SUNRISE:

wht?! me?!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

we were at ur place when namjoon noticed the big ass basket of dirty clothes

 

Romantic:

i remembered u said we had washing machines in the basement so i went to wash our clothes

 

SUNRISE:

oh uhhhh u cnt

 

Romantic:

yea i kno tht now

 

FairyFloss:

why not?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

theres a big ass sign on the door that said ‘not accessible to kim namjoon’

apparently even the landlord knew tht namjoon broke the elevator 

 

Romantic:

i did NOT BREAK THE ELEVATOR 

 

Kookie Dough:

u touched it and it went dark and wouldn’t work for two weeks

u broke it

 

Romantic:

whatever

 

Ahjussi ♡:

so we decided to go to the closest laundromat so joon can clean his underwear 

 

Taeddy Bear:

ahjussi had to help joonie hyung bc he doesnt know how to wash clothes 

 

Romantic:

i never learned

 

FairyFloss:

ur a grown ass man hyung

 

Romantic:

who never washed his own clothes

im gonna end up married to jin hyung anyway so i dnt NEED to learn it

 

Joons_Only:

yes u do boi

 

Romantic:

well i know now

 

Ahjussi ♡:

after breaking the first machine

 

SUNRISE:

(/゚Д゚)/

 

Taeddy Bear:

ahjussi we need to get u to the train station 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

hold on tae we just gotta collect joons clothes from the dryer

 

Taeddy Bear:

ヾ(≧∇≦)ゞ

 

SUNRISE:

probably should’ve did joons laundry b4 i left

 

Joons_Only:

u think? us superior roommates have to think abt these things

thts why i always leave food for jk and yoongi when i leave the apartment 

 

SUNRISE:

u right u right

 

Kookie Dough:

im offended

jimin, u owe me my dinner for the month 

 

FairyFloss:

wht?

 

Kookie Dough:

dnt pretend u dnt kno

 

SUNRISE:

u made a bet n u lost jimin now u owe jk lunch once a month for a year

 

FairyFloss:

( ̄ェ ̄;) i hate u ppl

wht u want jungkook?

 

Kookie Dough:

im in the mood for taco bell

 

FairyFloss:

there arent any in busan

 

Kookie Dough:

wtf

lets go to tht diner near my house then 

 

FairyFloss:

it closed down two months ago

 

Kookie Dough:

WTF AHHHHHHHH

 

SUNRISE:

ctwwl

 

Joons_Only:

i like ‘cimcf’ better

 

SUNRISE:

well its nice to have variety 

 

Kookie Dough:

take my ass to mcdonalds

i need at least two big macs to ease my pain

 

FairyFloss:

at least?!

 

Kookie Dough:

yes!!!! and a large fries!!!

 

Romantic:

my guy looks so spiffy

 

Kookie Dough:

who?

 

Ahjussi :

[image sent]

 

waddup losers

 

SUNRISE:

(*°∀°)

 

FairyFloss:

hyung u look GOOD

dnt u think so hobi hyung?

 

Kookie Dough:

hmm?

 

SUNRISE:

uhhh

 

Ahjussi ♡:

good thx

i want yesung to know i look way better than him bc hes a stupid bitch and i hate him

 

Joons_Only:

ur not getting home until extra late

 

Ahjussi ♡:

im waking his ugly ass up

beauty sleep wnt fix his face

 

FairyFloss:

wow so petty

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i learned from my hyung

 

Joons_Only:

(ノ∀`♥) aww stop

 

Taeddy Bear:

hyung ur trains here!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ughhhh

 

Joons_Only:

dw yoongi i packed all ur weapons

 

Ahjussi ♡:

oh thank god

 

FairyFloss:

u packed his clothes?

 

Kookie Dough:

he packed mine

 

Joons_Only:

superior roommate

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i plan to use every weapon on yesungs stupid face

esp my brass knuckles 

 

SUNRISE:

fighting!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i plan to

 

SUNRISE:

smh 

dnt forget abt our 10:49 ft hyung

 

Ahjussi ♡:

we’ll see

 

SUNRISE:

yes at 10:49

i will fight u or namjoon if u miss one think im playing

btw namjoon, its 10:18

 

Romantic:

i know! tae and i will see u at 10:27

 

SUNRISE:

oh ill see my taeberry muffin! ill show u to my sis so i can flex on her!

 

Joons_Only:

smth is wrong w u hobi

 

SUNRISE:

yea

my sister

 

Ahjussi ♡:

see yall thursday 

bye tae!

 

Taeddy Bear:

bye ahjussi! ill call u ok?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

any time

 

Romantic:

bye hyung

 

Ahjussi ♡:

get ur octopus arms off me namjoon i dnt love u

PUT ME DOWN!!!!

 

Taeddy Bear:

joonie hyungs spinning ahjussi in the middle of the station

how cute

 

Kookie Dough:

jfc we’re so lucky we left early jimin

 

FairyFloss:

100%

 

Ahjussi ♡:

fking idiot i hate u

 

Taeddy Bear:

ur so red ahjussi

 

Ahjussi ♡:

with anger

 

Romantic:

stop lying bitch

now get tf outta here b4 ur train leaves

 

Ahjussi ♡:

bye

 

Taeddy Bear:

BYE AHJUSSI ヽ(*>∇<)ノ

 

Romantic:

bye yoongi hyung!

.

.

.

aaaand hes gone

 

Joons_Only:

hopefully he wnt be arrested for trying to kill his cousin

 

FairyFloss:

not a big loss

 

Romantic:

lets get outta here tae

 

Taeddy Bear:

ok!

 

SUNRISE:

KIM NAMJOON ITS 10:28!!!!!!

 

Romantic:

oh shit

Chapter Text

Romantic:

look at this kid guys

[image sent]

 

adorable

 

Taeddy Bear:

(/ε\*) 

hyung! its almost one

 

Romantic:

so?

 

Taeddy Bear:

everyone is probably sleep

 

Ahjussi ♡:

im here tae

 

Taeddy Bear:

happy early morning ahjussi! happy chuseok!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

happy chuseok tae

 

Romantic:

has ur train arrived yet?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yep like ten minutes ago

im in a cab on the way home now

wht r yall doing?

 

Taeddy Bear:

ONESIE SLEEPOVER!!!

 

SUNRISE:

aw man i want to have an onesie sleepover

 

Romantic:

should’ve stayed home

 

Taeddy Bear:

hyung wht r u doing up?

 

SUNRISE:

my aunt fell asleep and disappeared so im out looking for her

 

Ahjussi ♡:

she went to sleep n disappeared???

 

SUNRISE:

she sleepwalks

her old ass needs to be chained down tho bc its cold as hell out here

 

Romantic:

oxymoron

 

SUNRISE:

wht u just call me?

 

Romantic:

uneducated 

 

SUNRISE:

how DARE!

and to think i carved time out of my life to come on this chat

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ur out looking for ur runaway sleeping aunt

what life?

 

SUNRISE:

...tht rlly hurt me hyung

 

Ahjussi ♡:

suck it up

oh the cab just pulled up to my house

 

SUNRISE:

i hope ur ass is locked out

 

Ahjussi ♡:

then im banging on the damn door

 

Romantic:

thts rude

 

Ahjussi ♡:

they knew i was coming 

 

FairyFloss:

stop spamming ths chat!

there are ppl trying to sleep yk?

 

SUNRISE:

no who?

 

Taeddy Bear:

happy chuseok minnie!

 

FairyFloss:

happy chuseok!!!!

u look so cute in ur onesie!!!

 

Taeddy Bear:

(*ノ▽ノ)

wait until u see joonie hyung

 

FairyFloss:

wht color is ur onesie hyung?

 

Romantic:

brown

 

SUNRISE:

i dnt need to see namjoon then

i can see endless examples of wht he look like rn

 

Romantic:

ur outside hyung

 

SUNRISE:

exactly

 

FairyFloss:

ur a tree headass hyung

lmfao

 

Romantic:

go back to sleep jimin and then dnt wake up

 

SUNRISE:

savage

 

Ahjussi ♡:

oh HELL NAW

 

SUNRISE:

what what what

 

Taeddy Bear:

are u ok ahjussi?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

nonononononoNO

they got this bitch in my bed!

 

FairyFloss:

who? yesung?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

YES

NOT TODAY ASSHOLE

 

Romantic:

dnt pull out ur nunchucks!

 

SUNRISE:

he going to jail

 

Ahjussi ♡:

STOP CRYING U FUCKING EGG HEAD!

 

FairyFloss:

(◎_◎;)

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i think i left my lighter behind

where r my matches?

 

FairyFloss:

( ゜Д゜;)!?

somebody do smth

 

Romantic:

do wht? the guys almost three hrs away

taehyung, wanna watch finding nemo?

 

Taeddy Bear:

OH YES PLS!!! 

(゜))<< (゜))<<

 

Romantic:

cute

 

FairyFloss:

hyung!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

hes tryna crawl away

HE JUST HIT ME 

 

SUNRISE:

oh yea he def going to jail

AUNTIE! GET UR ASS OUT THAT LAKE

 

FairyFloss:

...

good night

 

Taeddy Bear:

happy chuseok! ヽ(o♡o)/

 


 

Kookie Dough:

i hate my family

why’d i come home? should’ve stayed w my real dad

 

Romantic:

u talking abt me?

 

Kookie Dough:

yea

 

Romantic:

(; ̄︶ ̄)i guess i won the dad-off

 

FairyFloss:

whts wrong w you kookie? yesterday u were all excited to get home

 

Kookie Dough:

yea tht was before i found out my parents installed my flatscreen in their room

 

SUNRISE:

(*゚O゚*) the one u won on park jimin day?

 

Kookie Dough:

they said they thought i sent it home as a present

WHICH IS A DAMN LIE BC I WROTE A NOTE THAT SAID “PUT IN MY ROOM LOVE JUNGKOOK”

 

Romantic:

damn thts rough

 

Kookie Dough:

no whts rough is tht my mom thinks shes keeping it

when she starts cooking im going into their room n taking my tv back

 

SUNRISE:

just get a new tv

 

Kookie Dough:

one, i didnt even buy THIS tv i won it n im super broke remember?

two, even if i COULD buy another tv its the principle

 

FairyFloss:

wtvr

joonie hyung wheres taetae?

 

Romantic:

hes still asleep

 

SUNRISE:

its almost noon

 

Romantic:

we didnt go to sleep until three this morning

 

Kookie Dough:

then why r u up?

 

SUNRISE:

we had a scheduled ft for 8:12 am

 

Kookie Dough:

wtf

hey whatever happened with yoongi hyung?

 

SUNRISE:

he tried to kill his cousin

 

Kookie Dough:

and?

 

FairyFloss:

pretty sure hes in jail

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i fking wish

 

Romantic:

hes awake!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yea i am

 

Kookie Dough:

why? u love sleeping in

 

Ahjussi ♡:

if i stayed in that bed any longer it would’ve spontaneously combust

apparently im sharing a room with yesung

 

SUNRISE:

uhhh why?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

‘we couldnt book a hotel this year so auntie said we could sleep here, peasant’

crab faced bitch

 

Romantic:

HEY! dnt insult the crabs!

 

FairyFloss:

dear god joonie hyung

 

Romantic:

speaking of crabs, i should take tae to the beach 2day

 

SUNRISE:

if u do send pics

 

Romantic:

ok

sooo yesungs ur bed buddy huh?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

hes abt to be a dead bed buddy

 

FairyFloss:

oh shit

 

Ahjussi ♡:

after i choked him (almost) to death last night with my belt he proceeded to drool on my head and snore loud in my ear all night

and every once in a while he kneed me in my back

 

Kookie Dough:

oh shit x2

 

Ahjussi ♡:

thts why i got up early

if he had hit me in my spine one more time i wouldnt been able to refrain from murder

now hes going thru my luggage n tossing my shit around

ihatehim ihatehim ihatehim

 

Kookie Dough:

seems like yoongi hyung n i wnt be going home for chuseok next year

 

Ahjussi ♡:

u damn right

Chapter Text

Taeddy Bear:

joonie hyung and i are having a gr8 time!!!

 

Joons_Only:

oh my tae baby i missed u

 

Taeddy Bear:

i missed u too hyung

ヽ(♡‿♡)ノ

 

Joons_Only:

( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅

 

SUNRISE:

so u can answer tae’s texts but nobody elses?

 

Joons_Only:

does anyone else rlly deserve my response?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ur partner in crime

i called u abt my lighter n u didnt answer

 

Joons_Only:

bc it was shit o clock in the morning!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

it was an emergency!

 

Kookie Dough:

who cares?

tae wyd?

 

Romantic:

we @ the beach 

[image sent]

 

i saw hella crabs ( ̄︶ ̄;)

 

Joons_Only:

it looks like a nice day

 

Taeddy Bear:

it is hyung! its clear blue skies w a nice breeze!

 

Romantic:

its still HOT

 

Kookie Dough:

good for u guys

its fking raining in busan

 

FairyFloss:

its not too bad

 

Kookie Dough:

shut up jimin u went out w friends and left me alone

 

FairyFloss:

u said and i quote ‘i will sever my left nut before i ever even consider hanging out with those cretins’

 

SUNRISE:

(◍˃̶ᗜ˂̶◍)ノ” he called them cretins

 

Kookie Dough:

yea well the proper response would’ve been to hang out w me instead

 

FairyFloss:

except i see u everyday and i havent seen them since last break

 

Kookie Dough:

tht doesnt matter!

 

Romantic:

ooh! we found a bird!

[image sent]

 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

joon seems more excited abt the beach than tae

 

Kookie Dough:

my father is a full grown man-child

 

Romantic:

fyi he means me

 

SUNRISE:

and ur proud?

hmmm

 

Romantic:

i hope ur sister breaks ur ankles

 

SUNRISE:

now tht was truly hurtful

 

Taeddy Bear:

hyung! shahaf is flying away!!!

 

Romantic:

NOOO

 

FairyFloss:

...what is a shahaf?

 

Taeddy Bear:

its the name of the seagull

 

Kookie Dough:

why shahaf?

 

Romantic:

its hebrew for seagull

tae, i found him!

 

Taeddy Bear:

⁽(◍˃̵͈̑ᴗ˂̵͈̑) YAY!

 

Joons_Only:

pls dnt try to smuggle tht thing home

i know u joon

 

Romantic:

...u dnt kno me

(tae, put the net back)

 

Taeddy Bear:

(ok hyung!)

 

Joons_Only:

(/ヘ ̄、)

 

Kookie Dough:

how r ur buddies jimin?

 

FairyFloss:

smh kook they’re fine

 

Kookie Dough:

ur still out with them!?

 

FairyFloss:

its only been an hr

 

Kookie Dough:

ugh disgusting 

 

Romantic:

taes making a sand castle!

[image sent]

 

 

SUNRISE:

why?

 

Romantic:

SHAHAF NEEDS A HOME!!!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

the bird will just fly away

 

Romantic:

but now it’ll know it has a safe place to land

 

Taeddy Bear:

hyung we need some water for the moat

 

Romantic:

ill be back

wheres my bucket?

 

Taeddy Bear:

by the crab refuge hyung!

 

Romantic:

right right

ok off i go

 

SUNRISE:

they just at the beach making endless sand castles aren’t they?

 

Kookie Dough:

god i should’ve stayed home

 

 


Taeddy Bear:

[image sent]

 

tht was the best beach day ever!!!

 

Joons_Only:

thts a nice shot taehyungie! 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

well he IS an art major

 

Joons_Only:

you ARE trying me

 

Taeddy Bear:

ahjussi, jinnie hyung, did u have a nice day?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

no

 

Joons_Only:

yes

whts w you yoongi?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

as i spent my time remembering my hatred for yesung i forgot how much i hated the rest of my family

 

Romantic:

taehyung im back! 

 

Taeddy Bear:

ok hyung! i’ll get the movie set up!

 

Romantic:

oh yeahhh!

did u guys kno he had a theater room in this place?

 

Kookie Dough:

wht u gonna watch?

 

Taeddy Bear:

the cinderella movies

 

SUNRISE:

all three?

 

Taeddy Bear:

mmhmm

i love a twist in time

 

Ahjussi ♡:

wht day is today?

 

SUNRISE:

its monday night

 

Ahjussi ♡:

omf i cnt deal until wednesday 

im gonna book a train for tmr im done

 

SUNRISE:

cimcf whts the problem now?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

the problem is my grandparents thought having six kids would be a good time

now all these ppl are at my house getting on my damn nerves

 

Kookie Dough:

they’re ur family hyung

 

Ahjussi ♡:

well this ‘family’ of mine is becoming a problem

why was my mom born first? 

 

SUNRISE:

is it yesung again?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

surprisingly no

its my moms brothers kids

 

Romantic:

ur uncle

 

Ahjussi ♡:

no not my uncle

my mothers brother

he and his wife had a brood of their own and i hate every single one of them

 

Joons_Only:

is this a ‘i cnt stand seeing their face for no real reason’ hate or a ‘i have a list of offenses and will seek revenge for every last one’ hate?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

the second one

their oldest is a pair of twins who like to grab my shit and hold it over my head like fucktards

but when i kick the guy in the nuts and punch her beanbags im the bad guy?

 

FairyFloss:

hey everybody

.

.

.

beanbags?

 

Kookie Dough:

oh look who showed up

 

FairyFloss:

(ノ#-_-)ノ

 

SUNRISE:

u hit ur cousin? in her beanbags? 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

she shouldn’t have been tossing my phone like a caveman 

 

Kookie Dough:

oooook

 

Ahjussi ♡:

and yesungs mom is also a grade A bitch

 

Romantic:

ur aunt

 

Ahjussi ♡:

NO YESUNGS MOM

she told my mom ‘its taking a long time to prepare the food unnie’ so i told her ‘well ur supposed to be helping not tht anyone would eat wht u cooked’

 

FairyFloss:

no u didnt

 

SUNRISE:

ofc he did

 

Kookie Dough:

(*゚O゚*)

 

Ahjussi :

she got all upset n then got mad at my mom!

‘its a shame u cnt have a good wholesome son like my yesung. its not enough to be pretty his inside should match his outside.’

 

Joons_Only:

at least she called u pretty

 

Ahjussi ♡:

oh pls im gorgeous n her son is smth out of a barf bag

 

Joons_Only:

pls tell me u didnt say tht

 

Ahjussi ♡:

no i didnt

 

SUNRISE:

there is justice in this world

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i told her her sons outside looks like the house of a cat hoarder and his inside matches perfectly

 

FairyFloss:

...

 

SUNRISE:

im shook

 

Kookie Dough:

(ノ_.)ノ all hail the roast master! all hail min yoongi! 

 

Joons_Only:

why min yoongi? why?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

she deserved it

honestly, my entire house is abt to wiped off the face of the planet

 

Joons_Only:

u need professional help

 

Ahjussi ♡:

u right

who do i call for an assasin?

 

SUNRISE:

(ノ´д`)

 

Romantic:

stfu im watching cinderella!

fucking stepmom! wht a bitch!

 

SUNRISE:

dnt forget our facetime!

 

FairyFloss:

kook wanna come over my house?

 

Kookie Dough:

no

jimin i hate u

 

FairyFloss:

bye jungkook

 

Kookie Dough:

bYE juNgkOOk

Chapter Text

[CTRL C, CTRL V]

 

Original:

hey kookie

kookie!!!

kookie u kno i kno ur reading these 

 

Imposter:

wht u want jimin?

 

Original:

the disrespect on my name

 

Imposter:

no srsly jimin wht u want?

i have to help set up for family wrestling l8r

these sandbags aint gonna move themselves

 

Original:

oh well my familys not doing anything big 2nite so i thought we could go through our lists of places

 

Imposter:

idk

 

Original:

will ur family be doing smth tonight?

 

Imposter:

no

 

Original:

then whts the problem? u havent answered any of my texts since last night

 

Imposter:

does smth have to be wrong for me to not answer ur texts?

besides, theyre not tht important since i text u everyday anyways so

 

Original:

( ̄ー ̄)jungkook

 

Imposter:

gtg jimin

see u when i see u

 

Original:

jungkook!

 

 

[We’re Not Small, We’re Proportionate]

 

Jimin:

r u busy hyung?

 

Yoongi:

im currently hiding in a field in hopes my family will forget me and abandon me

 

Jimin:

is that a no?

 

Yoongi:

wtf u want jimin?

 

Jimin:

jungkooks mad at me and idk why

 

Yoongi:

jungkook? mad at you? 

 

Jimin:

YES

 

Yoongi:

impossible

stop playing around and leave me alone

 

Jimin:

hyung im serious!

hyung!

HYUNG!

 

Yoongi:

WHAT BOY!?

gr8 they’re getting closer

 

Jimin:

???

nvm, hyung i need ur advice

 

Yoongi:

my advice? for what?

 

Jimin:

jungkook! r u listening?!

 

Yoongi:

i am physically unable to hear ur texts jimin

duh

 

Jimin:

i will murder u hyung

 

Yoongi:

i welcome death with open arms

oh god i think they’re following the vibrations

 

Jimin:

bye hyung

 

Yoongi:

SHIT THEY FOUND ME!!!

 

Jimin:

( ̄ー ̄)ノ

 

 

[Platonic Sex]

 

BigDCentral:

ummm why is our private chat named this?

 

CallMeDaddy:

i dnt even kno

wht u want?

 

BigDCentral:

i feel uncomfortable w these names hyung

 

CallMeDaddy:

why? urs not accurate?

 

BigDCentral:

ok bye hobi hyung

 

CallMeDaddy:

i was just asking!

 

 

[Kimberly Ann & Parker Grant Ford the Third]

 

The Third:

jin hyung? i need advice

 

King Kimchi:

whts wrong?

 

The Third:

jungkooks mad at me

 

King Kimchi:

jungkooks mad at u?

⸌̷̻ ( ᷇๑ॢ˃̶͈̀ ꇴ ˂̶͈́๑ॢ) ⸌̷̻ thts a good one

 

The Third:

why does no one believe me?!

 

King Kimchi:

i can count on my fingers the number of times jk has been actually mad at u w/o lifting a finger

 

The Third:

well theres a first time for everything

 

King Kimchi:

wait ur serious

 

The Third:

YES

 

King Kimchi:

jungkook is legit 100% bona fide mad at u park jimin busan bff savior from loneliness and depression?

 

The Third:

(-_-。) yesss

 

King Kimchi:

...damn

u mustve fked up BAD

 

The Third:

ヽ(`Д´)ノ how is it automatically my fault?

 

King Kimchi:

hes mad at u and not the other way around

ur scouring the planet in search for answers

ur NOT mad back at him

must i go on?

 

The Third:

no

 

King Kimchi:

good

what did u do?

 

The Third:

nothing!

 

King Kimchi:

then why is he mad?

 

The Third:

idk

 

King Kimchi:

jimin u once got so drunk u peed on jungkooks bed thinking it was a toilet 

during a fight, u threw half his pokemon cards out the window

u roast him on the regular 

 

The Third:

other than making me feel like a horrible human being wht is ur point?

 

King Kimchi:

if he never got mad at u for tht shit (and tht is some wheel pulling out shit) i doubt he would just get mad at u out of the blue

 

The Third:

meaning?

 

King Kimchi:

meaning u did smth and u better figure out wht bc if its still a problem when we all get back home im beating ur ass

 

The Third:

(゚o゚〃)

 

King Kimchi:

better get to searching bitch

see u thursday

 

 

[Platonic Sex]

 

BigDCentral:

i need ur help hyung

hyung!

 

CallMeDaddy:

rate it

 

BigDCentral:

what?

 

CallMeDaddy:

on a scale of 1-10 rate how much u need my help

1: its a trivial matter tht i have no business txting u over to 10: its a life or death situation and i need the expertise of one great jung hoseok to stop my descent into the bowels of hell

rate it

 

BigDCentral:

im gonna go with an 8

 

CallMeDaddy:

ok cool

ill get back to u

 

BigDCentral:

HYUNG!

 

CallMeDaddy:

u have terrible timing

im in the middle of a scheduled ft

brb

 

BigDCentral:

ur useless!

 

 

[Science Saves Us All]

 

Biologist:

joonie hyung

 

Psychologist:

yea jiminie?

 

Biologist:

i have a problem and i need advice

 

Psychologist:

hmm i see

i would like tht u refer to me as dr. kim for the rest of this conversation ok?

 

Biologist:

ummm ok 

weird but ok

 

Psychologist:

perfect

so wht brings u to my proverbial office today jimin?

 

Biologist:

well i have a friend who is mad at me but he never gets mad at me so idk wht to do

 

Psychologist:

ahhh i see

ur seeking me out due to the conflict between u and jungkook correct?

 

Biologist:

how’d u kno?

*gasp* did he talk to u abt it? WHT DID HE SAY?

 

Psychologist:

now now jimin u know i cnt disclose info abt my other patients

calm down

 

Biologist:

ok im calm

 

Psychologist:

good

now i want u to tell me what the problem is

 

Biologist:

i dnt know wht the problem is 

i dnt know why jungkooks mad

 

Psychologist:

i didnt ask why jungkook was mad i asked for the problem

what is the problem?

 

Biologist:

im confused

 

Psychologist:

jungkooks being mad is not a problem in itself

if a stranger was upset with u would tht be a problem? u dnt know him but he glared at u once in the street would tht bother u?

 

Biologist:

well no

i dnt know him n i probably wnt see him again

 

Psychologist:

therefore his feelings dnt affect u correct?

 

Biologist:

yea ig

 

Psychologist:

thts bc u dnt have an emotional connection to a stranger so u wnt feel anything by their negative emotions at least not to the degree ud feel towards the negative emotions of a friend lover or family member

so tell me ur problem 

 

Biologist:

my problem is i dnt like tht jungkook is mad at me and i rlly dnt like tht i dnt kno how to fix it

 

Psychologist:

good now we’ve identified ur problem so wht r the steps we can take to fix it?

 

Biologist:

i need to find out why jungkook is mad and then i can fix it

 

Psychologist:

so we need to find the cause

 

Biologist:

problem is tht i dnt know the cause

 

Psychologist:

i think if we look deep enough we’ll find tht u do

 

Biologist:

huh?

 

Psychologist:

lets help u find the cause

whens the last time u felt jungkook was happy w you?

 

Biologist:

monday, around noon

 

Psychologist:

ok so wht happened after tht?

 

Biologist:

i had some free time so i decided to go out

 

Psychologist:

with jungkook?

 

Biologist:

no w/ friends

 

Psychologist:

aaand?

 

Biologist:

b4 i left jungkook called and i asked if i had any free time and i told him i already made plans

i asked him if he wanted to tag along but he turned me down now hes in a mood

 

Psychologist:

u dnt think leaving him on his own could’ve caused him to be upset with u?

 

Biologist:

no it wasnt tht big a deal

plus i offered for him to come with but it was his choice to say no

 

Psychologist:

when u realized u had time to kill did u consider jungkook? before u made plans?

 

Biologist:

no

 

Psychologist:

after u made plans?

 

Biologist:

yes

 

Psychologist:

did u consider him before or after he called?

 

Biologist:

...

 

Psychologist:

i think we found our cause for the most part

 

Biologist:

hes mad bc i made plans w/o him? thts not even as bad as i thought it would be

i do stuff w/o him all the time so why would he get mad now?

 

Psychologist:

maybe hes always been upset abt tht but bc he could rationalize it away he tried not to make a big deal out of it

however, u asked him to come home ths chuseok and bought his ticket and made a whole list of places you guys would go to but then the first moment u were free, u forgot abt him

 

Biologist:

i didnt forget abt him!

 

Psychologist:

well u didnt seem to remember him either

 

Biologist:

but thts just bc im used to him always being there! hes my bff i could never forget abt him!

 

Psychologist:

just bc hes ur bff doesnt mean u cnt forget him

i often find, jimin, tht the people we are closest to are the people most taken for granted

our love and trust in them reassures us tht they’ll always be there and we forget to give them reasons to stay

its never intentional it just happens 

 

Biologist:

wow

tht was deep dr. kim

 

Psychologist:

ikr 

u have to remember tht for the longest u were the only friend jk had

 

Biologist:

ok so wht should i do?

 

Psychologist:

show jungkook u care

idk wht ur doing w ur family so it might be better to wait until ur back in seoul but i recommend doing it now

the longer u wait the less effect itll have and the more doubts will creep in

 

Biologist:

ok

thx hyung! ur the fking best!

 

Psychologist:

i endeavor to be

now gtfo, tae and i are doing arts n crafts

 

Biologist:

ok bye!

 

 

[CTRL C, CTRL V]

 

Original:

tonight we’re going out

no ifs ands or buts abt it

 

Imposter:

if

and

but

 

Original:

jungkook on a scale of one to ten, id commit murder for u

im sorry if i was an asshole yesterday 

 

Imposter:

pretty sure ur an asshole everyday

 

Original:

well then sorry for being a bad best friend yesterday

i should’ve thought abt u when i was making plans 

 

Imposter:

yes u shouldve

i only came home so we could do a nostalgic throwback thing 

then i look up and im stuck doing menial labor while ur off with ur old pals

 

Original:

well why didnt u come? u didnt have to stay home

 

Imposter:

jimin ur old friends hate me ok? and i hate them

 

Original:

they dnt hate u

 

Imposter:

yes! they do!

in school, every time ud turn ur back they had some rude hurtful shit to say and whenever u didnt come, i had to sit out on the bleachers like a loser 

 

Original:

oh

why did u never say anything?

 

Imposter:

u were my only friend jimin i thought ud drop me if u realized i didnt get along w ur other friends

 

Original:

i wouldn’t have dropped u!

 

Imposter:

bc my mom was paying u bc thts how much of a loser i was

 

Original:

u werent a loser u were just shy

and she only paid me for the first year bc by then u were a real friend n i preferred hanging out with u for free

 

Imposter:

well lets pull out the good champagne fellas my paid friend likes me!!!

 

Original:

jungkook im trying to apologize dnt make me beat ur ass 

 

Imposter:

as if u could 

 

Original:

try me bunny boy

 

Imposter:

come to my house then! the wrestling area is all set up

 

Original:

omw nugget head prepare to eat some sand

 

Imposter:

big talk for a tiny man

 

Original:

ur mother didnt think i was tiny

 

Imposter:

AHHHH

 

Original:

ψ(`∇´)ψ

 

Imposter:

i hate u jimin

 

Original:

back at u bitch

 

Imposter:

...jimin?

 

Original:

yea?

 

Imposter:

id kill somebody for u too

 

Original:

thx

Chapter Text

[Happy Feet]

 

DanceKing:

jimin!!!!!

 

DancePrince:

wht hyung?

 

DanceKing:

u never came back after i put u on hold

 

DancePrince:

turns out i didnt need the ‘great jung hoseok to stop my descent into the bowels of hell’

though if i did, id be dead right abt now

 

DanceSlave:

i got u jimin

 

DanceKing:

so u dnt need my help?

hey i thought jungkook was mad at u

 

DanceSlave:

how do u know?

 

DanceKing:

yoongi told me

 

DanceSlave:

and how did he know?

 

DanceKing:

jimin

 

DanceSlave:

jimin! u told everybody!

 

DancePrince:

not everybody! i didn’t tell taetae and hoseok wouldn’t let me string two words together before putting me on hold

besides no one even believed me!

 

DanceKing:

ikr yoongi hyung said u ruined his hiding spot with your asinine and baseless claims of jungkook hatred

oh btw beware jimin he plans to set ur hair on fire when breaks over

 

DancePrince:

(˚☐˚! )/

 

DanceSlave:

lmfao

 

DancePrince:

thts not funny!

 

DanceSlave:

i think it is

i mean ur wearing a wig so ur mom doesnt shave ur head and now ur going bald anyways

 

DancePrince:

u wanna fight?

 

DanceSlave:

didnt i just beat u in like twelve rounds of wrestling?

 

DanceKing:

damn jimin u didnt win one?

 

DancePrince:

have u seen kookies workout regime? im lucky i can still move

 

DanceKing:

tru tru

that boi’s arms could scare away a bear

 

DanceSlave:

shut up

so hows yoongi hyung doing?

 

DanceKing:

fine as u kno considering we all text every day 

 

DancePrince:

yea but we’re not the one going on daily cyber dates with the guy now are we?

 

DanceKing:

DATES?! theyre not dates! 

 

DanceSlave:

then wht are they?

 

DanceKing:

scheduled face times

same thing i have with namjoon

 

DanceSlave:

lbr u only ft joon hyung to make sure u have a home to go back to

plus out of all ur friends to have ‘scheduled face times’ with u chose yoongi hyung

sound like dates to me

 

DancePrince:

sound like dates to me too

 

DanceKing:

They. Are. Not. 

 

DanceSlave:

oh rlly?

 

DancePrince:

[image sent]

 

the hobi doth protest too much, we thinks. 

 

DanceKing:

me think i protest just enough

 

DancePrince:

wtvr helps u sleep at night hyung

 

DanceKing:

nyquil

 


 

 

[Together Forever]

 

Romantic:

some ppl are just born evil

it makes me sick

 

Ahjussi ♡:

who?

 

Romantic:

snow whites stepmother

i mean, wht was her point? what was her purpose?

 

SUNRISE:

she was too insecure

 

Romantic:

nonono she was deluded 

external beauty always fades its the inner beauty tht matters

 

Joons_Only:

its impossible for my beauty to fade but i get ur point

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i should’ve known he would come in once someone said the b word

 

Kookie Dough:

bitch?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

no beauty

 

Kookie Dough:

pfft bye

 

SUNRISE:

on anthr note, ur families hand out gifts yet?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i didnt give anybody anything bc im not appreciative of them and im not thankful they exist

 

Romantic:

( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

 

Joons_Only:

my family handed out gifts yesterday

i have ur gifts w me so ill have to give them to u on thursday

 

Kookie Dough:

i handed out spam like it was going out of style

i got jimins mom a gift basket tho bc she got me my forever homie

 

FairyFloss:

(⌒⃝৺⌒⃝) i love u too buddy

 

Ahjussi ♡:

so he isnt mad at you

jimin we’re gonna have words

 

FairyFloss:

!!!

 

Kookie Dough:

Ψ( `▽´ )Ψ

 

SUNRISE:

anyways my mom wants to hand the gifts out tmr since its the last day

 

FairyFloss:

u get us any gifts?

 

SUNRISE:

yea

 

FairyFloss:

whoo hoo!

 

SUNRISE:

an old pair of mismatched socks boi!

tf i look like getting ur crusty ass a gift

 

FairyFloss:

my heart is broken

kookie avenge me

 

Kookie Dough:

rip brother i shall avenge

(θ`^´)θ  ○=(-_-O)

 

Joons_Only:

throw hands jungkook! show them wht u got!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

wtf

 

Taeddy Bear:

[image sent]

 

good evening!!!! ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪

 

Joons_Only:

my husband and fav child all in one picture 

ive been blessed

 

SUNRISE:

namjoon sneaks in just enough to attack us with a deep dimple

 

Ahjussi ♡:

fuck namjoon

 

Romantic:

wow hyung

 

Ahjussi ♡:

tae! ur having fun?

 

Taeddy Bear:

of course ahjussi! joonie hyung and i are having a fantastic time

 

Romantic:

we’re taejoon on the rise fellas better watch out

 

Taeddy Bear:

( ᵘ ᵕ ᵘ ⁎)

 

Kookie Dough:

taehyung!!! ive missed ur face!!!

 

Taeddy Bear:

ive missed ur smile jungkookie!!!

 

Kookie Dough:

oh crap my selfies are some shit

quick! jimin send a pic of me smiling

 

SUNRISE:

do u ever smile u weirdo?

 

FairyFloss:

[image sent]

 

 

SUNRISE:

awwww ur so cute kookie

 

Taeddy Bear:

(°◡°♡)

 

Joons_Only:

(。’▽’。)♡

 

Kookie Dough:

(*/∇\*) 

hyung ur embarrassing me!

somebody else send smth

 

SUNRISE:

[image sent]

 

im gorgeous 

 

Taeddy Bear:

hyung u look so handsome!!!

 

SUNRISE:

thx wht can i say? its natural

 

Joons_Only:

forget natural

u wanna see SUPERnatural beauty?

 

FairyFloss:

dean winchester?

 

Joons_Only:

no well YES but no

[image sent]

 

i was made to tempt humans

 

Romantic:

u tempt me just fine

 

Joons_Only:

oh do i? (。≖ิ‿≖ิ)

 

Ahjussi ♡:

alright enough of tht

 

Taeddy Bear:

hyung its almost time

 

Romantic:

dnt worry tae i set a timer

 

Taeddy Bear:

gr8

 

Kookie Dough:

a timer for what?

 

Romantic:

cookies

 

FairyFloss:

YOU made cookies?

 

Romantic:

yes and no

 

SUNRISE:

hmmm suspicious 

 

Taeddy Bear:

hyung made a batch but then the oven caught fire 

 

SUNRISE:

whose oven?

 

Romantic:

uhh well

 

SUNRISE:

kim namjoon!

 

Romantic:

well its not like we used it a lot anyways

 

SUNRISE:

jin hyung?

 

Joons_Only:

yeah?

 

SUNRISE:

ur abt to be a widow

 

Romantic:

– =͟͟͞͞ =͟͟͞͞ ヘ( ´Д`)ノ

 

FairyFloss:

if joon hyungs oven caught fire, how r u guys making cookies now?

 

Taeddy Bear:

we’re at my place now

hyung the timer beeped

 

Romantic:

brb gents

 

Joons_Only:

tae, pls pls tell me somebodys helping u make the cookies now

 

Taeddy Bear:

my neighbors granddaughter is helping

 

Ahjussi ♡:

granddaughter? how old is she?

 

Taeddy Bear:

shes twenty five ahjussi and shes in cooking school

noona is so cool!

 

SUNRISE:

i dnt kno how i feel abt some random lady sliding up in taes personal space

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i dnt like it either

 

Joons_Only:

guys dnt forget joons there

he wouldnt let anything bad happen

 

Romantic:

ok so noona said the cookies are done but she gave me her number in case we need anything

 

Joons_Only:

excuse me wht?

 

Taeddy Bear:

bye noona! so pretty like a rose

 

Romantic:

she was pretty, huh?

 

Joons_Only:

Kim tf Namjoon!

 

Romantic:

yea babe

 

Joons_Only:

i will neutralize u

 

Kookie Dough:

(ಡ艸ಡ)

 

Romantic:

wht! i didnt even do anything!

 

Joons_Only:

see tht u dnt

 

FairyFloss:

hyung is probs very confused rn

 

Taeddy Bear:

ok hyung we have to finish setting up the bookbags now

 

Romantic:

fantastic! how many have we done?

 

Taeddy Bear:

37

 

Romantic:

ok! only 63 to go!

 

SUNRISE:

wht r u guys doing?

 

Romantic:

we’re making care packages 

 

SUNRISE:

huh?

 

Taeddy Bear:

its chuseok hyung!

 

Romantic:

tae n i dnt have anyone to give gifts to except each other so we thought we’d do smth a lil more altruistic 

 

Kookie Dough:

wht r u doing then?

 

Taeddy Bear:

we’re giving chuseok love packages to the homeless! its to let them kno ppl care!

 

Romantic:

each bag will have a handwritten card, a dental hygiene package, a fleece blanket, a first aid kid, toiletries, vitamins, a gift card, and some homecooked treats and a few water bottles

theyll also get a whistle and flashlight in case they’re ever in danger

it’s important everyone has a chance to make it to the next chuseok 

 

SUNRISE:

omf im gonna cry

 

Taeddy Bear:

hyung ill go cut up the brownies and start making the treat boxes

 

Romantic:

ok gr8! hand me the box of vitamins!

 

Taeddy Bear:

here u go!

 

Romantic:

awesome! dnt forget: each box gets two brownies, three cookies, and a candy bar

 

Taeddy Bear:

wht abt the chips?

 

Romantic:

right and a bag of chips

 

Taeddy Bear:

(๑>ᴗ<๑)

 

Joons_Only:

u guys r gonna give me a heart attack istg

i cnt take this level of inner beauty

 

Ahjussi ♡:

there is a logistics error with this plan namjoon

 

Romantic:

there is?

 

Kookie Dough:

logistics? whts tht?

 

FairyFloss:

shut up kookie

 

Kookie Dough:

jimin!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

idek how u got 100 empty bookbags to the 14th floor but how are u planning on getting 100 full bookbags down and around town?

 

Romantic:

ahhhh

 

Joons_Only:

indeed tht is a problem

 

Romantic:

shit we havent thought of tht

 

SUNRISE:

how abt the car? 

 

Romantic:

hyung ur car fits up to six ppl at best

no way it can fit 100 bookbags and me and tae

 

Joons_Only:

why dnt u rent a van? a moving van?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

a moving van?

 

Joons_Only:

yes a moving van

there’ll be enough space in the back for all the bags and it will be easier to access the bags while u hand them out

 

Romantic:

wnt it take too long to get one?

 

SUNRISE:

not rlly

call for one now and rent it for the night they’ll drop it off in front of taes place and tmr ull have to drop it back off

 

Joons_Only:

if u call now, the van should be there by the time u finish making the bags

 

Kookie Dough:

but then how r they gonna get the bags to the van? they still have to get 100 bookbags downstairs

itll be a tedious job even while using the elevator 

 

Taeddy Bear:

we can use a big trolley cart

tht should help right?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

a trolley cart? yea it should

 

FairyFloss:

smart thinking taetae!

 

Taeddy Bear: 

thx minnie

 

Joons_Only:

ok ask for a trolley cart when u rent the truck joon

 

Romantic:

cool 

#41 down

Chapter Text

Taeddy Bear:

[image sent]

 

do i look nice?

 

FairyFloss:

u look rlly nice taetae!

 

Taeddy Bear:

(◡‿◡✿) ty minnie

 

Romantic:

wht abt me?

[image sent]

 

do i look suave?

 

Kookie Dough:

meh

 

Romantic:

im hurt

 

Taeddy Bear:

u look handsome hyung

 

Romantic:

thx tae

 

Ahjussi ♡:

dnt lie to him tae

 

Romantic:

ill fight u hyung

 

Ahjussi ♡:

im ready to launch myself into space so idrc

 

SUNRISE:

wtf wht happened now?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

we’re doing a game night

im currently squished between mothers youngest sister’s son and my mothers third sister’s daughter trying to get out of jail in monopoly 

 

Joons_Only:

a.k.a yesung ur cousin n soohyeon ur other cousin

 

Ahjussi ♡:

these ppl are not my kin

if theyre not adopted then i am

 

Kookie Dough:

instead of a min u could be a lee or choi or oh!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

mmmm

from now on, i am lee yoongi

 

Romantic:

lol

alright, tae and i are outta here

 

SUNRISE:

where r u going?

 

Taeddy Bear:

its time to hand out the chuseok love packages!

 

FairyFloss:

ok be careful!!!

 

Taeddy Bear:

we will jiminie!!!

 

Romantic:

lets roll out tae

hand me the sign so i can put it on the van

 

Taeddy Bear:

here u go!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i feel like im gonna regret asking but ill ask anyway

what sign?

 

Taeddy Bear:

we made a sign to put on the outside of the van

 

SUNRISE:

whts it say?

 

Romantic:

‘WE’RE TAEJOON & WE LOVE YOU!”

theres a lot of hearts and smiley faces and flowers

 

Taeddy Bear:

we used real flowers 

✿ ❀ ✿ ❀ ✿

 

Joons_Only:

thts cute

 

Romantic:

thx babe

gtg see u guys

 

Joons_Only:

bye!!! love u!!!

 

Taeddy Bear:

love u too!!! 

( ⋂‿⋂’)

 

SUNRISE:

ladies and gentlemen, an angel

 

FairyFloss:

there arent any ladies here

 

SUNRISE:

i see one txting now

 

Kookie Dough:

are u being sexist rn hyung?

 

SUNRISE:

WHT! NO!

 

FairyFloss:

are u sure?

 

SUNRISE:

YES! IM SURE!

 

Joons_Only:

smh theyre messing w u hobi

 

Kookie Dough:

(¬‿¬)

 

FairyFloss:

(¬‿¬)

 

SUNRISE:

σ゚ロ゚)σ

 

Ahjussi ♡:

my mothers youngest sister’s son just landed on my property

pay up bitch!

 

Kookie Dough:

shake him down hyung!

 

Joons_Only:

why’d i come on here?

 

SUNRISE:

bc ur lonely w/o us

hey, u ever ask ur family abt namjoon?

 

Joons_Only:

and say wht?

 

Kookie Dough:

tht sounds like a no

 

SUNRISE:

how abt ‘why r u harassing my once and future king?’

 

FairyFloss:

i think thts king arthur

 

Joons_Only:

unlike u ppl im shrouded in the cloak of subtlety so no i didnt just blurt some random shit

instead, i sent out feels

 

Ahjussi ♡:

feels?

 

Joons_Only:

its wht i said

i drop namjoons name here and a lil bit over there and then i watch them

in cases like these, its not wht a person says but how they say it

 

FairyFloss:

yea its all in the face

 

Joons_Only:

exactly!

 

SUNRISE:

and wht did their faces say?

 

Joons_Only:

they h8 him

 

Kookie Dough:

whoa

 

Ahjussi ♡:

not a major plot twist 

 

Joons_Only:

who rlly cares tho bc joons amazing and my forever and they can suck it up

i actually wrote tht on the farewell cards they’re all getting tmr

 

SUNRISE:

farewell cards?

 

Joons_Only:

oh its a tradition of my family

every time we all gather together we make farewell cards

basically the cards give us a chance to say slick shit w/o it being to each others faces

 

FairyFloss:

wht good would tht do?

 

Joons_Only:

well it ensures we have a nice peaceful gathering 

 

Kookie Dough:

the min family needs to adopt farewell cards then

 

Ahjussi ♡:

they can do as they please

i am a lee now

 

SUNRISE:

rofl

jimin wyd?

 

FairyFloss:

im with jungkook

 

Kookie Dough:

yea we’re going thru our list

rn we’re egging our old principals house

 

Joons_Only:

WTF

 

FairyFloss:

eh he deserves it

he made our lives hell for yrs so

 

Kookie Dough:

yea i promised on graduation i would come back and egg his house

im a man of my word

 

SUNRISE:

ur a child

 

Kookie Dough:

then im a child of my word

JIMIN! I HEAR SIRENS!

 

FairyFloss:

RUN!!!!

 

Joons_Only:

better hold onto ur wig jimin

 

SUNRISE:

( ՞ਊ՞)

 


 

 

SUNRISE:

can i tell u guys smth?

 

Kookie Dough:

depends

 

SUNRISE:

on?

 

Kookie Dough:

if its gonna make me cry

if so keep tht shit to urself

 

Joons_Only:

shut up jungkook 

its ur floor hobi

 

SUNRISE:

thx hyung

its not anything profound or life changing or wtvr yk?

its just tht being home made me realize how much of a family u guys r to me

i mean im surrounded by blood relatives but every time smth happens i turn around to tell jimin or jin hyung or joon n idk 

i love u guys

 

Joons_Only:

we love u too hoseok

 

Kookie Dough:

u bitch!

im starting to tear up

 

SUNRISE:

ur so cute kookie

 

FairyFloss:

yea he is isnt he?

love u hobi hyung 

 

SUNRISE:

love u too

 

Romantic:

i love u too hoseok hyung

(´ε` )♡

 

SUNRISE:

heyy namjoonie!

u missed our ft!

 

Romantic:

yea i know sorry

tae and i just finished handing out the bookbags

 

FairyFloss:

its almost midnight

 

Romantic:

yep

heading home now

 

Ahjussi ♡:

do u ppl kno wht time it is?

its like 3 in the morning

 

Kookie Dough:

we just established the time n thts not it but ok

 

SUNRISE:

hyung! i love u!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

love u too seok

joon wheres tae?

 

FairyFloss:

...brb

 

 

[Happy Feet]

 

DancePrince:

AHHHHHHHH

 

DanceKing:

ASKFJK

IM SHOOKETH

 

DanceSlave:

he loves u!!!! he called u ‘seok’!

 

DanceKing:

deep breaths stay calm

inhale

 

DancePrince:

*deep inhale*

 

DanceKing:

and exhale

 

DancePrince:

...AHHHHHHHH!!!!!

 

DanceKing:

AHHHHHH

 

DanceSlave:

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 

[Together Forever]

 

Romantic:

hes dozing in his seat

he looks like a baby panda or smth

 

Ahjussi ♡:

did u guys have any problems? not all homeless ppl r nice ppl

 

Romantic:

hyung i know tht

nobody gave us a hard time anyways bc taes smile was melting even the most frozen of hearts

i almost put hands on one lady tho not gonna lie

 

Joons_Only:

why? wht she do?

 

Romantic:

tae tried to give her a bookbag and she slapped it out his hands

she said ‘i dnt need ur fucking charity im an independent woman’

now, i was all for her living how she wants but she didnt have to be rude to my sweet lil tae yk?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

did he cry? if he cried i’ll fight a homeless lady istg

 

Joons_Only:

how arent u in jail yet yoongi?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

insufficient evidence 

 

Joons_Only:

(°д°)

 

Ahjussi ♡:

so did he cry?

 

Romantic:

no he just smiled

 

Joons_Only:

??

 

Romantic:

he told her we all depend on the earth and as human beings we should be able to depend on each other then he gave her a hug

fuck him crying i cried hell she cried

then she took the bookbag and thanked him

 

Joons_Only:

into my file

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i legit dnt know how taehyung is how he is

i mean, i would’ve slung tht bag at her head

 

SUNRISE:

bc u have anger issues

 

FairyFloss:

no no

ppl issues

 

Romantic:

where were u guys?

 

FairyFloss:

minding our business 

should u be texting while driving?

 

Joons_Only:

UR DRIVING!!?!!???

 

Romantic:

...

bye 

 

Joons_Only:

im gonna kill him!

 

Kookie Dough:

do wht u gotta do to be the best u

 

SUNRISE:

o(*゚∇゚)ノ speak the truth!

Chapter Text

Taeddy Bear:

gm hyungs! kookie!

 

SUNRISE:

hey taeberry muffin

wht r u doing up so early?

 

Taeddy Bear:

hyung wants to get to the store early b4 it fills up

 

SUNRISE:

it’ll fill up? at six in the morning?

namjoon wya?! 

 

Romantic:

yes hyung?

 

SUNRISE:

why u got my tae up this early? yall were out until midnight last night

 

Romantic:

we need to get to the store

theres supposed to be a storm l8r and there might be power outages so we need to get supplies

why r u up so early?

 

SUNRISE:

my mom woke everyone up for an early breakfast so we can exchange gifts early and then have a family day

 

Romantic:

ok hyung

tae u ready?

 

Taeddy Bear:

mmhmm

 

Romantic:

u have ur raincoat? 

 

Taeddy Bear:

yep!

hyung can we play in the rain after we come from the store

 

Romantic:

if it isnt too heavy

 

Taeddy Bear:

 *:゜☆ヽ(*’∀’*)/☆゜:。*。

 

SUNRISE:

ok well have a good time

joon, make sure u hold his hand and dnt leave him alone at the cart

there are creepers out here

 

Romantic:

hyung i kno

 

SUNRISE:

when u get there, ft me i wanna make sure u guys get there safely

 

Taeddy Bear:

alright hyung

ღƪ(ˆ◡ˆ)ʃ♡ƪ(ˆ◡ˆ)ʃ♪ joon hyung n i love u!!!

 

SUNRISE:

oh no my heart

 


 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i cnt stand these ppl

 

FairyFloss:

we kno hyung

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i especially hate these ppl

 

Kookie Dough:

you’ve told us hyung

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i should’ve stayed home

 

SUNRISE:

why’d u go home in the first place?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i...i missed my mom

 

FairyFloss:

aw thts sweet hyung

 

Kookie Dough:

cnt relate

 

FairyFloss:

shut up jk!

 

Kookie Dough:

just stating facts

i got in trouble for ripping my tv off their wall n putting it back in my room

who do these ppl think they are?

 

SUNRISE:

ur parents?

 

Kookie Dough:

disgusting 

 

Romantic:

hey hobi hyung 

 

SUNRISE:

hi namjoon

 

FairyFloss:

wht r we? roadkill?

 

Kookie Dough:

well looking at ur face

 

FairyFloss:

looking at ur life

 

Romantic:

hyung so u remember how two hrs ago tae n i facetimed u and we ended on a happy note?

 

SUNRISE:

yes

it was only two hrs ago

 

Taeddy Bear:

hyung where are u?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

...

 

SUNRISE:

...

 

Romantic:

taehyung! i’ve been calling u nonstop 

where did u go?!

 

FairyFloss:

u lost him

 

Ahjussi ♡:

kim namjoon 

 

Taeddy Bear:

hyung its cold out here

 

SUNRISE:

UR OUTSIDE IN THE RAIN?!?????!!???!!!?

KIM NAMJOON WTF

 

Kookie Dough:

im calling seokjin hyung!

 

Romantic:

no dnt!

tae where are u? u were supposed to be by the window

 

Taeddy Bear:

i know hyung but i dropped my flower crown by the door and when i went to pick it up a huge crowd of ppl starting coming in and out 

i got pushed around and now im outside

 

Ahjussi ♡:

are u in the parking lot?

 

SUNRISE:

if ur in the parking lot, look for my car

wait for joon by my car

 

Kookie Dough:

hyungs not answering!

 

Romantic:

hes not in the parking lot

 

FairyFloss:

well how do u kno?

 

Romantic:

bc im at the car rn!

i cnt see shit!

 

Taeddy Bear:

the rain is pouring a lot hyung

its filling my shoes up

im cold

 

Romantic:

ok ummm

 

SUNRISE:

use tht big ass brain of urs namjoon! come on!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

tae wht do u see?

 

Taeddy Bear:

theres too much rain

 

Ahjussi ♡:

its ok just relax

u dnt see any bright lights or big signs?

 

Taeddy Bear:

no idk

oh! i see a big yellow mcdonalds sign

 

Romantic:

ok we drove past one when we came to the store

tae, i want u to go to the sign and wait for me

 

Taeddy Bear:

can u hurry up hyung? i cnt feel my toes

 

Romantic:

im coming now just hold on

 

Joons_Only:

jk why u blowing up my phone?

 

Kookie Dough:

namjoon hyung lost tae out in the rain!

 

Joons_Only:

WHAT

 

Ahjussi ♡:

you would kno these things if u answered ur phone

 

Romantic:

ok guys i got him

we’re heading back

 

Joons_Only:

yah namjoon!

 

Romantic:

uh heyyy babe

 

Joons_Only:

dnt ‘hey babe’ me

when u get home, call me

 

FairyFloss:

ooooh

dads in trouble!!!!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ft me too

i wanna see taehyung

 

Romantic:

alright

 

 



Taeddy Bear:

(✿◕ ‿◕ฺ)ノ))。₀: *゜

dw im ok now!

 

Joons_Only:

taehyung ur awake!

 

Kookie Dough:

awake?

did he pass out?!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

he took a nap jungkook

 

Kookie Dough:

well if the sleep king says so

 

Taeddy Bear:

i feel much better!

hyung took good care of me

 

FairyFloss:

thts good taetae

 

Ahjussi ♡:

he shouldn’t have lost u in the first place 

 

SUNRISE:

yoongi hyung!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

just stating facts

 

FairyFloss:

where is namjoon hyung?

 

Taeddy Bear:

hes making me tea

ahjussi? jin hyung?

 

Joons_Only:

hm?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yea tae?

 

Taeddy Bear:

can u not be mad at hyung? it wasnt his fault

 

Joons_Only:

he lost u

 

Taeddy Bear:

no he didnt lose me hyung

i just got lost

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yes bc he wasn’t paying attention 

 

Taeddy Bear:

i wasnt supposed to be at the door n im sorry i scared everybody but u were really mean to hyung on the phone

u made him cry and now hes sad

 

FairyFloss:

poor hyung

 

SUNRISE:

NOT MY JOONIE

・゜・(ノД`)

 

FairyFloss:

hyung chill

 

Joons_Only:

...did he rlly cry?

 

Taeddy Bear:

i could hear him

i kno u were worried abt me but joonie hyung was scared too

i dnt like tht hes sad now

 

Kookie Dough:

congrats u two ur horrible human beings

 

SUNRISE:

omf jungkook shut up

 

Kookie Dough:

u dnt tell me wht to do

 

FairyFloss:

i confiscated his phone

hes been bad lately

 

Ahjussi ♡:

smh im too old for this

.

.

.

hes not answering

 

Joons_Only:

he didnt answer my call either

 

SUNRISE:

ill try

 

FairyFloss:

he knows u guys didnt mean to be so hard on him

his phone is probably in the living room or smth

 

Joons_Only:

he never not answers me

 

Ahjussi ♡:

well u did make him cry

 

Joons_Only:

me?!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yea you

during my ft i only said ‘jfc namjoon pay better attention u gave me a goddamned heart attack’

who cries over tht? it had to be u

 

SUNRISE:

joon said hes conserving his battery and thts why he didn’t answer u yoongi hyung

apparently the idiot forgot his charger but its storming so

 

Joons_Only:

and me?

 

SUNRISE:

he said he doesnt feel like crying again

sorry hyung

 

FairyFloss:

so its jin hyungs fault

 

Ahjussi ♡:

told u

 

Joons_Only:

screw u ppl

ill text him then

 

 

[Married]

 

Joons_Future:

babe

joon

namjoon

namjoon i kno ur getting these

 

Jins_Future:

im not in the mood rn seokjin

i need to save my battery

 

Joons_Future:

im not here to flick out on you joon

 

Jins_Future:

ur not?

 

Joons_Future:

taehyung said i made u cry n i realized i said some pretty harsh and uncalled for shit to u 

i was scared and i was too far away to do smth if anything bad actually happened so i just flipped out on u

i didnt mean it and im really really sorry

 

Jins_Future:

i was freaking out too

 

Joons_Future:

i kno

 

Jins_Future:

and i didnt mean to lose him

 

Joons_Future:

babe i kno

 

Jins_Future:

whatever 

 

Joons_Future:

facetime me

 

Jins_Future:

i really do need to save my battery

 

Joons_Future:

u have an iphone

 

Jins_Future:

and?

 

Joons_Future:

tae also has an iphone

 

Jins_Future:

oh

 

Joons_Future:

smh babe

use taes charger and ft me

 

Jins_Future:

i dnt rlly feel like it 

 

Joons_Future:

what will it take to make u forgive me and ft me?

 

Jins_Future:

without creating a temporal paradox? nothing

 

Joons_Future:

...wtvr that means, how abt we play a game?

u guess wht im wearing and if u win u will ft me

 

Jins_Future:

theres a flaw in the rules of ur game

 

Joons_Future:

who cares

guess

 

Jins_Future:

a pink sweater and blue jeans

 

Joons_Future:

good guess could’ve been accurate but wrong

next guess

 

Jins_Future:

pajamas 

 

Joons_Future:

nope i’ll give u a hint

whats the opposite of everything?

 

Jins_Future:

nothing

 

Joons_Future:

thats wht im wearing

 

Jins_Future:

...

u good to ft?

 

Joons_Future:

(¬‿¬)

 

 

[Together Forever]

 

Joons_Only:

we’re all good fellas

 

Kookie Dough:

i dnt wanna know wht that means

 

Joons_Only:

id tell u but ur too young

 

Kookie Dough:

( ̄◇ ̄;)

 

FairyFloss:

GROSS

Chapter Text

FairyFloss:

[image sent]

 

heading home

hyung could u pick us up?

 

SUNRISE:

how yall leave first and then come back first?

 

FairyFloss:

same way 

the train

 

Joons_Only:

DAMN 

 

SUNRISE:

im coming back too jimin

ill see you then 

 

Romantic:

tht sounded so ominous

 

FairyFloss:

joon hyung! can u come get us? we’ll be home in an hr

 

Ahjussi ♡:

me too

ill be home around tht time too

 

SUNRISE:

u have a good trip?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i took jin hyungs advice and i wrote everyone a farewell letter

 

Joons_Only:

no no tht was not my advice i gave no advice

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yea well im blaming you

 

FairyFloss:

wht they say? the letters?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

well...i dnt care enough to write all of them individual letters so i made a banner 

it said ‘i hope i die before we meet again’ and then i just added the names of all my family members tht was for

 

Romantic:

sooo everyone except ur mom dad n older brother

 

Ahjussi ♡:

no i put hyung on there too

he kept laughing and pushing me around with those other idiots

 

SUNRISE:

(*≧▽≦)ノシ))

 

FairyFloss:

yoongi hyung

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i am a lee now

i feel no remorse

 

FairyFloss:

*hand smacks forehead and drags down face dramatically* smh

so namjoon hyung? are u picking us up?

 

Romantic:

yea sure

the storm is starting to calm down so ill get u

 

SUNRISE:

hey namjoon i just got my car back ok? dnt wreck it like u do

 

Romantic:

i almost thought u loved me

 

SUNRISE:

i love u

i just love my car more

 

FairyFloss:

im waking jungkook up

im bored

 

Joons_Only:

leave my jungkook alone

ill put hands on u jimin

 

FairyFloss:

but its boring on this train!

 

Joons_Only:

Jimin. 

 

FairyFloss:

(;¬д¬) fine

 

Ahjussi ♡:

on to more important matters, wheres taehyung?

 

Romantic:

hes sleeping rn

 

SUNRISE:

he already took two naps

 

Romantic:

he said he didnt feel good

i think he might’ve caught a cold

 

Joons_Only:

hes ill?!?!

 

Romantic:

i think so

im trying to make him some soup for when he wakes up

 

Ahjussi ♡:

namjoon get out tht boi’s kitchen

 

Joons_Only:

wht kind of soup? matter of fact, just hold on

yoongi will be home in an hr and then ill call him and walk him through making some soup

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i know how to make soup hyung

 

Joons_Only:

im talking abt my special soup

 

FairyFloss:

(○∇○) THE special soup?

 

SUNRISE:

on the realz?

 

Joons_Only:

who tf says ‘on the realz’?

and yes so Yoongi when u get there call me

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ok

 

SUNRISE:

make enough for me too

 

FairyFloss:

me and kookie too!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

none of u r sick

 

SUNRISE:

u don’t need to be sick to enjoy jin hyungs special soup

plus we’ll all need to warm up when we get back bc it’s raining

 

FairyFloss:

Facts. 

 

Joons_Only:

just make a big pot Yoongi 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ugh wtvr

 

FairyFloss:

ヽ(;▽;)ノ

 

Romantic:

a sad thought popped into my head just now

 

SUNRISE:

wait wait let us guess

 

Joons_Only:

seeing hoseok? seeing yoongi?

 

SUNRISE:

ε=o(´ロ`||) *cough* bitch ass *cough*

 

FairyFloss:

Σ (੭ु ຶਊ ຶ)੭ु⁾⁾ 

 

Joons_Only:

yoongi 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

hyung?

 

Joons_Only:

dnt make any soup for hoseok

 

FairyFloss:

(゜-゜)

 

SUNRISE:

 ( TДT)

 

Ahjussi ♡:

Ok!

one less mouth to feed

 

SUNRISE:

(-_-。)

 

FairyFloss:

aw poor hobi 

(T-T)ヾ(゚▽゚*) there there hyung ill share my portion with u

 

SUNRISE:

jiminie ur a real one

 

Romantic:

well im not sharing mine

its the special soup boi

 

Joons_Only:

lmao

 

FairyFloss:

u never told us wht ur sad thought was joonie hyung

 

Romantic:

theres school tmr

 

Joons_Only:

kim namjoon? not wanting to go to school?

has doomsday finally come?

 

FairyFloss:

(⌒▽⌒)

why dnt u wanna go to school?

 

Romantic:

its not tht i dnt want to go bc i do enjoy a nice lecture on the enlightenment and its effects that are still seen in this generation or learning the intricate details in music theory

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i grew sad just reading tht

 

SUNRISE:

at least we kno it’s rlly joon

 

Romantic:

tbh i just like being around tae all day

we had fun this break and it was nice to be able to see taehyung whenever i wanted w/o worrying abt work or class or wtvr

 

SUNRISE:

you work once every two weeks at some in the wall bookstore tht probably hasn’t had a customer in the last ten yrs and yet somehow u always have more money than me

 

Romantic:

why u gotta throw out my hardships like that?

 

SUNRISE:

hardships? boi ive seen ur checks and it’s hella unfair tht u make twice as much as i did when i worked at pizza hut 

 

Romantic:

well u dnt be saying tht when i buy shit for the apartment!

 

SUNRISE:

u buy shit to replace the shit U broke!

speaking of, when ur ass buying a couch? a coffee table? a real table? a damn oven?

 

Romantic:

u should buy the tables

 

SUNRISE:

ME?!

 

Romantic:

ur stupid ass launched off our balcony which led to breaking the coffee table

ur drunk ass was breakdancing on the table which led to breaking the actual table 

 

SUNRISE:

but who puts their cheeks thru the coffee table? YOU

who put their destructive hands on the actual table bc he wanted some damn Cocoa Puffs? YOU

 

Romantic:

ARE U RAGGING ON COCOA PUFFS HOBI?

 

SUNRISE:

Yes! I Am! they’re nasty and too sweet n we have like sixteen boxes in the fking cabinet

 

Romantic:

bc they’re delicious and I need them in my life! u talking shit abt Cocoa Puffs but u eat Froot Loops!

 

SUNRISE:

WHT U TRYNA SAY ABT MY FROOT LOOPS JOON

 

Romantic:

they’re D I S G U S T I N G

 

Ahjussi ♡:

hold on now bitch

dnt play with Froot Loops boi ill put u down

 

Romantic:

impossible

u cant put me down when u have to look up at me

 

Joons_Only:

guys pls find some chill

 

FairyFloss:

wht? u dnt think a non-tall man cant choke a bitch out?

 

Romantic:

let’s be truthful here ppl

u only eat froot loops bc ur short asses cnt reach the good cereal on the top shelf

 

SUNRISE:

FRUIT LOOPS IS GOOD CEREAL!

 

Romantic:

for losers

Cocoa Puffs is Life!

 

Joons_Only:

wtf r we even talking abt rn?

 

FairyFloss:

wht abt Frosted Flakes? do u at LEAST like frosted flakes slenderman?

 

Romantic:

oh sweet naive jimin there is NO cereal superior to my cocoa puffs 

esp crusty frosty flakes

 

Joons_Only:

...

bitch I eat frosted flakes 

 

Romantic:

babe rlly?!

 

Joons_Only:

ain’t nothing wrong w frosted flakes namjoon dnt start tht shit

 

Romantic:

frosted flakes are unhealthy and pointless 

 

SUNRISE:

BOY LOOK IN THE MIRROR CUZ U EATING COCOA PUFFS NOT CHEERIOS 

 

Romantic:

wht it lacks in health it makes up for in taste

unlike froot loops and frosted flakes which have no upside

 

Ahjussi ♡:

jin hyung...im abt to put serious hands on ur man

 

Joons_Only:

kick his ass yoongi fuck he think he talking abt

 

Romantic:

come at me bitch! 

cocoa puffs, give me strength!

Chapter Text

[Just Desserts]

 

Joons_Future:

good morning

 

Hobi:

...morning

 

Yoongi:

y r we in this gc?

whts wrong?

 

Maknae:

smth is wrong?

 

Joons_Future:

define wrong

 

LilMochi:

tae. something happening to tae. 

 

Joons_Future:

ahhh yes

like being kidnapped while in the presence of four adults

 

Hobi:

...

 

Joons_Future:

like getting sick from freezing outside bc he got lost while w/ an adult

 

Jins_Future:

uuuuhhh

 

LilMochi:

hyung im sorry pls dnt kill me

 

Maknae:

tae was ALMOST kidnapped 

i saved him

 

Yoongi:

JUST you?

 

Maknae:

yoongi hyung n i saved him

 

Joons_Future:

idc 

ive pulled out the wheel

 

Hobi:

(⸌⸍)

 

Maknae:

⚆ᗝ⚆

 

LilMochi:

(〇o〇;) !!

 

Jins_Future:

babe whyyyy

 

Yoongi:

ive never gotten the wheel b4

 

Joons_Future:

first time for everything 

whos going first?

 

Maknae:

hyung pls

 

Hobi:

its too early for this 

we just got home

 

Joons_Future:

ty hobi for volunteering 

 

Hobi:

(((;ꏿöꏿ;)))

 

Jins_Future:

(/。\)

 

Yoongi:

be strong hobi!

 

Joons_Future:

walk around barefoot for the day

 

Hobi:

━(◯Δ◯∥)━ン hyung its forty degrees outside!

 

Joons_Future:

stop crying boi

u have a car to get around in so its not like ur trekking to class

whos next?

 

Maknae:

...i’ll go next

 

FairyFloss:

( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

 

Joons_Future:

my sweet brave kookie

.

.

.

pass

 

Maknae:

(~˘▾˘)~ ~(˘▾˘~)

 

Hobi:

BULLSHIT

 

Joons_Future:

U QUESTIONING ME?!

 

Hobi:

NO!

 

Joons_Future:

good.

joon its ur turn

 

Jins_Future:

babe pls no

ill give u endless sexual favors 

 

Joons_Future:

hmmmm

wht kind of sexual favors?

 

Yoongi:

no no NO

dnt be tempted by the devil, be fair

 

Joons_Future:

u right yoongi

im spinning for u joon

 

Jins_Future:

meet me behind the science building @12 yoongi hyung

 

Joons_Future:

aaaannddd kim namjoon’s punishment issss

lmao

 

Maknae:

wht?

 

Jins_Future:

:;(∩´﹏`∩);: give it to me straight 

 

Joons_Future:

u gotta kiss a snake on the head

 

Hobi:

and u ‘lmao’ to tht?

 

Jins_Future:

who even suggested tht as a punishment?!

 

Joons_Future:

jungkook

 

Maknae:

(◕ᴥ◕)

 

Jins_Future:

ill be seeing u too jeon jungkook

 

Maknae:

(∩╹□╹∩)

 

LilMochi:

if u have psychology 2day u can do ur punishment bc theres snakes in the zoology area

 

Jins_Future:

i dnt

 

Hobi:

yes u do

 

Jins_Future:

No. I don’t. 

 

Hobi:

bitch who u tryna fool? everybody knows ur schedule 

 

Yoongi:

this is true

ig we ALL will be meeting u at the science building @ 12

 

Jins_Future:

。゚ヽ(゚´Д`)ノ゚。

 

Joons_Future:

yoongi baby its ur turn now

 

Hobi:

fighting!

 

Maknae:

be strong hyung!

 

Yoongi:

im ready

 

Joons_Future:

ok here we gooo

 

Jins_Future:

pls make him suffer pls make him suffer 

 

Yoongi:

i hope tht snake bites ur damn lip

 

Jins_Future:

(꒪⌓꒪)

 

Maknae:

(ᗒᗨᗕ)

 

Joons_Future:

its not tht bad

“write an apology letter”

 

Hobi:

...how come i never get these ones wtf

 

Jins_Future:

thats IT? who suggested tht bs?

 

Maknae:

jimin

 

Jins_Future:

oh

ok

 

Maknae:

ヽ(#`Д´)ノ

 

LilMochi:

(*^-^)

 

Hobi:

wht had u so quiet?

 

LilMochi:

i was hoping if i stayed silent id be forgotten but jk can never stfu

 

Maknae:

(ノ´ー`)ノ

 

LilMochi:

hyung im ready for my turn 

 

Joons_Future:

ok my cute volunteer!

 

Hobi:

how come kookie and jimin gets compliments n the rest of us dnt?

 

Joons_Future:

jk looks like a bunny and jimin is a mochi and im pretty sure im prouder of them than i will be of my own children

 

Maknae:

ヽ(*>∇<)ノ

 

LilMochi:

(⌒∇⌒)

 

Yoongi:

wtvr

whts his punishment?

 

Joons_Future:

oh right

pass

 

Hobi:

(#`皿´) this is i cnt im gonna

AHHHHHHHHH

 

Jins_Future:

(¬д¬。)

 

LilMochi:

( ̄ε ̄〃)b

 


 

 

[Together Forever]

 

Taeddy Bear has changed their name to (`)

 

FairyFloss:

are u ok taetae?

 

( ` ):

minnie i dnt feel good

 

SUNRISE:

ヽ(゜ロ゜;)ノ

can u breathe? is ur heart racing? are u sweating? chills? fever?

OMG U HAVE PNEUMONIA TAEHYUNG HOLD ON IM COMING TO TAKE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL 

 

Kookie Dough:

the hospital?! 

 

SUNRISE:

u could DIE from pneumonia jungkook

 

Kookie Dough:

WHAT

 

( ` ):

im dying?

 

Joons_Only:

uve just earned urself another spin jung hoseok 

i suggest u stfu

 

SUNRISE:

!!!

 

( ` ):

am i gonna die hyung?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

omf NO who said tht?

 

Kookie Dough:

hoseok 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

hoseok wtf?

 

SUNRISE:

i had a lil cousin who got pneumonia before but everyone just thought it was a regular cold and she died

i panicked ok? im sorry i just wanted to be sure

 

Kookie Dough:

oh

he doesnt deserve another spin hyung

 

Joons_Only:

yea i know

 

( ` ):

jinnie hyung where did u go? u said ud be here when i woke up

 

Joons_Only:

i know tae but i got an email abt a test tht i couldn’t miss

i hoped ud stay asleep until i got back 

why’d u wake up?

 

( ` ):

my tummy hurts and it hurts to breathe

 

Ahjussi ♡:

how bad? like its a dull ache or do u need the hospital?

 

( ` ):

idk

 

Joons_Only:

ok tae im heading back

 

Kookie Dough:

but hyung ur test?

 

Joons_Only:

doesnt matter

 

SUNRISE:

i can go hyung

 

Ahjussi ♡:

seok ur more likely to pass out if tae coughs in ur direction 

ill go

 

SUNRISE:

no i can go

 

FairyFloss:

nobody’s going anywhere ok? im at his building now

 

Kookie Dough:

jimin??

 

Joons_Only:

wdym ur at his building?

 

FairyFloss:

i went to the store to get some supplies and now im @ his building

ummm whts the secret code again?

 

SUNRISE:

magenta turtles

 

Romantic:

nonono we changed it during chuseok

now its ‘shahaf’

 

Kookie Dough:

...why?

 

Romantic:

so we’d always remember him

 

Joons_Only:

where did u even come from?

 

Romantic:

i just got outta class

 

FairyFloss:

im in!

i got it covered hyungs

 

Joons_Only:

are u sure bc i can be back in ten minutes?

 

FairyFloss:

no srsly hyung go take ur test i got this

 

Joons_Only:

ok i should be done in two hrs

 

FairyFloss:

see u then (人 •͈ᴗ•͈)

 

SUNRISE:

ill come over l8r w/ hyung k?

 

FairyFloss:

cool

 


 

 

Jimin shifted impatiently in the elevator, his arms laden with groceries. It was an instinctual reaction when Taehyung said he felt unwell; Jimin was in the store pondering medicines before he realized he left his dorm. Jimin wanted to take care of Taehyung. Not because he wanted to be with him. Or because he thought it would help him in his endeavors. Instead, Jimin wanted to take care of Taehyung because he cared about him and Taehyung deserved it. 

The elevator dinged and Jimin snapped out of his thoughts. The doors opened and Jimin stepped out, going to the front door. Knowing the door was unlocked since Taehyung admitted it was a habit of his, Jimin opened the door and quietly shut it behind himself. 

“TaeTae! Where are you?” Jimin called out into the large apartment. He headed to the kitchen, placing his heavy load onto the island.  Looking at his haul, Jimin knew he put a dent in his savings. Won’t be getting an apartment, it seems. Shrugging it off, he began to unpack the bags. He pulled out what had to be every flavor Gatorade had ever invented. Then, he pulled out of the bags the jugs of grape juice, apple juice, orange juice, chrysanthemum tea, and banana milk. 

Opening the refrigerator, he was unsurprised to see stacks of containers full of food. Seokjin-hyung, Jimin chuckled to himself as he began transferring the drinks from the island to the refrigerator. Knowing Taehyung loved banana milk and apple juice, Jimin made sure to place those in front of the other drinks so they were easily accessible. “Minnie?”

Jimin looked over his shoulder and saw a pitiful visage. Taehyung stood in the doorway of the kitchen, a bright-colored blanket precariously hanging on his shoulders and Sir Samuel clutched in his arms. Jimin felt his heart melt at the cute pout on the younger’s lips. “Hey, Taehyung. How are you feeling?” Jimin asked, shutting the refrigerator. 

Taehyung shuffled closer with a sad look on his face, “Really bad. I don’t like it.”

Jimin closed the distance between them and placed the back of his hand on Taehyung’s forehead. His brow furrowed and he took in the flush cheeks, “Aw, I think you have a fever. What are your other symptoms?”

A rough cough escaped Taehyung’s throat before he moaned miserably, dropping his head onto Jimin’s shoulder. Jimin wrapped his arms around him, letting his fingers comb through Taehyung’s sweaty locks. “It hurts all over, especially my chest. And I have a cough and my head hurts and my tummy feels funny and my throat feels all scratchy.”

Cooing sympathetically, Jimin rubbed his back, “Well, I basically bought everything sick-related at the store so we’ll get you all better in no time. How about we go into the living room and watch a movie? You can cuddle with Sir Samuel.”

Lifting his head off the elder’s shoulder, Taehyung shot him the cutest puppy-dog eyes he’d ever seen. “Will you cuddle with me too?”

Smiling happily, Jimin patted his head reassuringly, “Of course.”

Chapter Text

Seokjin tapped his pencil anxiously against his desk, watching the hands of the clock tick slowly. He wished he could just get up and leave since he finished his exam; he was tempted but he knew this teacher was a hard-ass and would fail him for leaving before the allotted time. Who the hell has a test the day after break? Jin thought angrily. When Jin arrived home late Wednesday night, the first thing he did was go to Taehyung’s apartment—well, he went to the store first but then he took a cab straight to the younger’s building. 

When he got there, Namjoon was waiting for him in the lobby. Though he was happy to see his boyfriend, Seokjin barely spared him a greeting kiss before heading to the elevator. First thing he did when he got to the apartment was check on the soup. He was greatly disappointed. Yoongi clearly wasn’t listening when he explained the importance of the meat to vegetable to liquid ratio. ‘I know how to make soup,’ my ass. 

“Alright, time’s up.” Seokjin jerked in his seat in surprise. His teacher was coming through the rows, collecting the exam packets from each desk. Jin didn’t wait for his teacher to reach his desk; he shot out of his seat, grabbing his bag off the floor and heading out the door. Pulling out his phone, Jin quickly walked towards the exit. 

 

 

[SeokSeok Ballers]

 

SEOKjin:

wya?

 

hoSEOK:

my place? why? u finished ur test?

 

SEOKjin:

smh would I be texting u if i wasnt?

 

hoSEOK:

ummm i feel like tht might b a trick question

 

SEOKjin:

(; ̄ー ̄)just come get me hobi 

 

hoSEOK:

can i wear shoes?

 

SEOKjin:

is it friday??

 

hoSEOK:

...no

 

SEOKjin:

and theres ur answer 

now hurry tf up

 

hoSEOK:

im coming

meet me at the front

 

SEOKjin:

ok

 

 

Jin sat on a bench near the front gates, waiting for Hoseok to pull up. He had called Jimin at least ten times but the young dancer never answered. Jin was almost inclined to either use his belt on him or give him another spin on the wheel. He must’ve become too lax with his dongsaengs lately. That would change. 

“Ayo, ugly dude in the uglier shirt! Your ride’s here!” Jin and twenty other students turned to see Hoseok’s bright grin. Yep. Definitely had been too lax. Scowling, Jin stood from the bench and stomped towards the car, “You cannot be talking looking the worst fashion trends all day every day.”

Reaching to grab the passenger door, Jin glared when the car jerked forward. “Hoseok,” he warned. Hoseok gave an amused laugh, “Alright, alright.”

Jin tried to grab the handle again only for the car to jerk backwards. Jin stared at his shoes in an attempt to not get arrested for property damage. Hoseok laughed again, “Ok. Get in, Hyung. We need to go.”

“You do that shit again and you won’t see the light of day ever again,” Seokjin threatened, clenching his phone. Hoseok raised his hands in surrender. Opening the door, Jin stepped into the car, making sure to slam the door closed. Hoseok opened his mouth to protest but it fell shut when a sharp look was shot in his direction. 

“So,” Hoseok started casually, pulling the car onto the road. “How was your test?”

“I’m almost positive I passed. But, then again, I’m almost positive I failed. Take from that what you will,” Jin replied. His phone buzzed and he looked down. He sighed. 

“Jimin-ah?” Hoseok asked. 

“No,” Jin denied. He rolled his eyes. “It’s my brother. He wants to talk about my farewell letter.”

“Wait, your family seriously does that? Make farewell shade letters?” Hoseok exclaimed, astonished a family could be so...actually it wasn’t that surprising. His hyung had to get his personality from somewhere. 

“Yes, we do. And in the one I gave to my brother, I let him know that Namjoon was ten times better than his wife who I know has been cheating on him since their third date,” Jin replied happily, a mischievous smirk on his face. 

Hoseok sighed resignedly. Switching lanes, he spared a glance at Jin, “How long have they been together?” 

“Four years.”

“Four years?! You let your brother be with a cheater for four years?!” Hoseok gaped at his hyung. Clearly, Jin was the devil. Jin shrugged indifferently, “He’s cheating, too. I figured that their marriage was none of my business. They seemed happy together with their unknown to each other’s extracurricular activities, anyways.”

“If they were happy not knowing, why’d you say something?” Hoseok asked, stopping at a red light. 

“He irritated me.”

Hoseok looked at his hyung in amazement. Jin turned away from the window to smile innocently at him before his eyes shifted down. Hoseok followed his gaze and saw his own bare toes on the gas pedal; Hoseok watched in confusion as his hyung smirked before leaning forward his seat. Jin hummed before turning off the heat. Then, he rolled down his window completely, letting the frigid air fill up the car. 

“Hyung!” Hoseok yelped in shock as the cold wind reached his sensitive feet. He only received a cackle in return. It was official: Kim Seokjin was the Devil. 

 


 

[Together Forever]

 

Joons_Only:

i appreciate park jimin far more than I could appreciate any of u ppl

 

Ahjussi ♡:

wht did namjoon do now?

 

Romantic:

who said i did anything?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

usually when jin hyung starts appreciating ppl it’s bc u pissed him off

 

Romantic:

that is not true!

 

Kookie Dough:

i beg to differ The Lizard

 

Romantic:

omfg dnt bring up lizards to me rn or ever

i dnt think ill ever be the same

 

SUNRISE:

lol

 

Joons_Only:

thts wht u get 

 

Romantic:

ok but out of all the snakes there did i have to kiss a viper?

 

FairyFloss:

(ಡ艸ಡ)

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yes u did

it was the only snake tht was poisonous 

 

Romantic:

it couldve killed me!

 

SUNRISE:

in the world of today u could die so many ways

plus it was ur punishment so

 

Kookie Dough:

lmfao i got tht shit on video

i swear u can see the tremors of fear down hyungs back

 

Romantic:

tht shit is not funny

 

Ahjussi ♡:

mmm i found it pretty funny

btw i finished my apology letter 

 

Romantic:

which is bogus but ok

 

Joons_Only:

ok thts good yoongi thx

also u fools distracted me from my initial agenda 

 

Kookie Dough:

which was?

 

Joons_Only:

to praise my boi jimin!

i came over fully prepared to beat his ass and take taehyung to hospital only to find my sweet lil jimin being the best nurse on the planet

the boi bought a humidifier and everything for taehyung

isnt tht sweet?

 

SUNRISE:

dnt they cost money?

 

FairyFloss:

it didn’t cost too much

everything else rlly wracked up tho

 

Joons_Only:

ur so nice jiminie i’ll reimburse you

 

FairyFloss:

oh no u dnt have to hyung

 

Joons_Only:

nonono i insist

joon, give jimin the rest of ur paycheck

 

Romantic:

wtf

Chapter Text

[Same Age, Same Mind]

 

Hobi has changed their name to SuperiorRoommate

 

SuperiorRoommate has changed LoserJoon’s name to InferiorRommate

 

SuperiorRoommate:

happy morns joonie bug 

 

InferiorRoommate:

hyung wtf 

 

SuperiorRoommate:

i realized we haven’t chatted just us in a while or hung out

 

InferiorRoommate:

so ur solution to tht is to text me at one in the morning?

 

SuperiorRoommate:

oh no no

get dressed we’re going 4 a walk

 

InferiorRoommate:

...goodnight hyung

 

SuperiorRoommate:

u have three min or ull be outside in ur jammies and no shoes

 

InferiorRoommate:

wow

 

SuperiorRoommate:

mmhmm

hurry up now! chop chop

 

InferiorRoommate:

i hate u

.

.

.

im ready

 

SuperiorRoommate:

aight lets get to it

r u rlly wearing those shoes?

 

InferiorRoommate:

hobi hyung ur wearing furry purple pants and a cheetah shirt with a rainbow coat

 

SuperiorRoommate:

so?

 

InferiorRoommate:

OK lets just goooo

 

SuperiorRoommate:

ʕ⊙ᴥ⊙ʔ alrightyyyy

note to selves: we need to buy some new furniture 

 

InferiorRoommate:

maybe we should leave it in the bubble wrap this time

 

SuperiorRoommate:

tht might just be sound advice

maybe we should bubblewrap everything

 

InferiorRoommate:

oh hyung we have to take the stairs

 

SuperiorRoommate:

uhh why?

 

InferiorRoommate:

i tried to use it earlier but it kept flickering and now the landlord put up a sign

 

SuperiorRoommate:

oh i see it

“kim namjoon, 3B, stay out!” lmfao 

 

InferiorRoommate:

dnt laugh hyung! its not funny!

 

SuperiorRoommate:

i find it hilarious

there are signs all over this building abt u

 

InferiorRoommate:

whatever lets just go

 

SuperiorRoommate:

this sign does not have MY name on it

ill be seeing u namjoon

 

InferiorRoommate:

HYUNG!

u fiend!!!!

 

SuperiorRoommate:

should’ve thought abt tht before u began breaking everything

wya namjoon?

 

InferiorRoommate:

im coming! there are a lot of steps!

 

SuperiorRoommate:

stop crying boi

ur going DOWN only three flights of steps

 

InferiorRoommate:

im close so wait

 

SuperiorRoommate:

u straight lying

 

InferiorRoommate:

???

 

SuperiorRoommate:

im standing here w/ the door open and ur nowhere in sight 

oh! THERE U ARE!

 

InferiorRoommate:

u couldve came w/ me

 

SuperiorRoommate:

yea sure but tht requires a level of love for u i just dnt have

 

InferiorRoommate:

im gonna kill u one day

 

SuperiorRoommate:

then who would give u clean underwear? 

 

InferiorRoommate:

im not even answering tht

aw shit its cold out here

 

SuperiorRoommate:

its fall joon n the middle of the night

duhh

 

InferiorRoommate:

ok ok where r we going?

 

SuperiorRoommate:

idfk lets just walk on the sidewalk

 

InferiorRoommate:

as long as we pass somewhere to eat bc im hungry

 

SuperiorRoommate:

i had a feeling

which is why i brought my wallet

 

InferiorRoommate:

ur gonna buy me some food?!

 

SuperiorRoommate:

whts my name dude? 

 

InferiorRoommate:

jung hoseok

 

SuperiorRoommate:

no! well actually yes but no i meant my chat name

 

InferiorRoommate:

aww ok

 

SuperiorRoommate:

theres no way ur as smart as ppl claim

 

InferiorRoommate:

ヽ( ̄д ̄;)ノ

 


 

 

[Together Forever]

 

Joons_Only:

its friday!!!

 

Kookie Dough:

and?

 

Joons_Only:

so u dnt want ur chuseok gift?

 

SUNRISE:

im up!!!!! 

...im down*

 

Ahjussi ♡:

we were expected to get each other gifts?

 

FairyFloss:

i got everybody gifts!!!

 

Joons_Only:

dnt pretend on here yoongi

i saw u wrapping presents when u came home

 

SUNRISE:

aww really?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

stay out my room hyung

 

Joons_Only:

u were in the living room

come to taehyung’s place i cnt leave him until hes better

 

Kookie Dough:

is he ok?

 

Joons_Only:

yea hes fine

thx to my fav jimin his cough has cleared up and his throat is no longer sore and his fever broke

good job jiminie

 

FairyFloss:

(*ノωノ)

 

Kookie Dough:

<( ̄︶ ̄)> thts my best friend right there fellas!

 

FairyFloss:

shut up kookie!

 

Kookie Dough:

ur not my dad and i dnt listen to my own dad anyways

 

Ahjussi ♡:

who does?

 

Kookie Dough:

jimin

 

FairyFloss:

whts wrong w tht?

 

Kookie Dough:

he never listens to his mom tho

 

SUNRISE:

now that’s just backwards

 

FairyFloss:

( ̄Å ̄)

 

Romantic:

good REAL morning everybody

 

SUNRISE:

hey dnt be salty we had a good time 

 

Joons_Only:

morning joonie

 

Ahjussi ♡:

goodbye joonie

 

FairyFloss:

lol

 

Kookie Dough:

whyd u say real morning hyung?

 

Romantic:

bc one jung hoseok woke me out my sleep super early ths morning to go for a walk

 

Ahjussi ♡:

who willingly wakes up out their sleep to exercise?

 

FairyFloss:

me

 

Kookie Dough:

me

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i disown u all

 

SUNRISE:

it was to strengthen the roommate bond between joon and i

 

Romantic:

joon and me*

 

Kookie Dough:

is it rlly?

 

FairyFloss:

shut up jungkook u cant even spell

 

Kookie Dough:

w(°o°)w

 

SUNRISE:

we had a good time tho!

 

Joons_Only:

really?

 

Romantic:

surprisingly yes i had fun with my homie hobi

 

Joons_Only:

maybe yoongi and i should do tht then

 

Ahjussi ♡:

if u wake me up out of my sleep to walk ANYWHERE i will hurt u

 

Kookie Dough:

(°o°;)oooohh

 

Joons_Only:

one) i wasnt thinking of doing exactly tht bc i hate exercise of a non bed related variety more than anybody

 

SUNRISE:

gross

 

Romantic:

1)*

 

Joons_Only:

TWO)) if u EVER tried to put hands anywhere near this gorgeous body, i know a place i could put u and no one would find u

 

FairyFloss:

...

 

Kookie Dough:

uhhhh

 

( ` ):

gm!!! 

 

Romantic:

morning tae

 

(`) has changed their name to Tae_Rex

 

Tae_Rex:

rawr!

 

SUNRISE:

god so cute

 

Tae_Rex:

(✿ヘᴥヘ)

 

Joons_Only:

tae baby how do u feel?

 

Tae_Rex:

better hyung im not as sore but my tummy and my chest feels weird

 

Kookie Dough:

does no one else swoon whenever he says tummy?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i swoon on principle

 

Tae_Rex:

ahjussi! good morning!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

morning tae

 

Tae_Rex:

ahjussi are u gonna visit me today?

 

Joons_Only:

indeed he is

in fact, everybodys coming over 

 

Tae_Rex:

╰(◕ᗜ◕)╯ they are?!

 

FairyFloss:

yep yep

 

Tae_Rex:

(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

 

Kookie Dough:

so wht time?

 

Joons_Only:

come over in abt an hr with all ur stuff 

i should have breakfast done by then so

 

Kookie Dough:

u had me @ breakfast hyung

 

FairyFloss:

ofc he did

 

Tae_Rex:

all of wht stuff?

 

SUNRISE:

oh we’re going to give out the chuseok presents

 

FairyFloss:

i kno u and joon hyung probs didnt get any for us but thts ok

 

Romantic:

wht u talking abt boi? we have plenty for yall

 

Joons_Only:

but u said u were giving gifts to the homeless since u didnt have anyone else to give gifts to

 

Tae_Rex:

we didnt want to exchange gifts w/o everyone so we made the care packages instead

 

SUNRISE:

so thoughtful my lil babies 

 

Romantic:

I. Am. Taller. Than. You. 

 

SUNRISE:

(~ ̄³ ̄)~

 


 

 

Ahjussi :

whats the code again?

 

SUNRISE:

shahaf

 

Romantic:

ur not here yet?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

shut up namjoon

im omw up now

 

Romantic:

why am i always told to shut up?

 

SUNRISE:

bc u talk too much

 

FairyFloss:

rofl

hurry up hyung jk is eating up all the food

 

Kookie Dough:

no im not!

 

FairyFloss:

yes you are!

 

Joons_Only:

save some for yoongi jungkook 

 

Kookie Dough:

(。ŏ_ŏ) i am!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

alright stop picking at the boi jimin

 

FairyFloss:

im not!

 

SUNRISE:

children

 

Ahjussi ♡:

wheres tae?

 

Romantic:

hes cuddling jin in the living room

 

Kookie Dough:

apparently they made a magic fort last night 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

he ok?

 

SUNRISE:

from wht we saw yes

hes just sleepier than usual

 

Romantic:

and hes more tactile so dnt be surprised if he latches onto u when u go in there

 

SUNRISE:

i wonder how tall ass namjoon is gonna fit in the fort

 

FairyFloss:

lol

 

Romantic:

hush up hobi

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ummmm im lost

 

FairyFloss:

huh?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

in this apartment

i came in, took a left, and now im in some hallway

 

Kookie Dough:

ur supposed to go straight then take a right 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

its not normal to have this much apartment! 

wtf do i do?

 

Romantic:

trace ur steps back to the front door then go straight and take a right

 

SUNRISE:

im coming just hold on

.

.

.

ok wya? 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

wya? im at the front door

 

Romantic:

omf

 

SUNRISE:

um i have no idea where im at

theres a big ass screen tho

 

Romantic:

u must be in his home theater 

ill come get u

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ill just go straight then left

 

FairyFloss:

RIGHT

straight then right hyung

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yeah yeah

 

Kookie Dough:

smh

 

SUNRISE:

ok im low key scared of being in the dark alone so hurry up namjoon

 

Romantic:

im at the door hyung

 

SUNRISE:

WHATS THAT LIGHT?!?!

 

Romantic:

my phone stupid

 

SUNRISE:

oh

we’re on our way back fellas

 

Kookie Dough:

who cares

 

SUNRISE:

so rude

 

Joons_Only:

yall ready yet?

 

FairyFloss:

yoongi hyungs eating rn

 

Tae_Rex:

ahjussi is here?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yep

 

Tae_Rex:

☆*:. o(≧▽≦)o .:*☆

 

Joons_Only:

lay back down sweetie

 

Tae_Rex:

but i wanna see ahjussi

 

Joons_Only:

yes but ur sick

he’ll come in here when hes finished eating

 

Ahjussi ♡:

just relax tae im coming soon

 

Tae_Rex:

(◕︿◕✿) ok

 

FairyFloss:

jk and i are coming to the fort tae!

 

Tae_Rex:

(づ。◕‿◕。)づ i want hugs!

 

Kookie Dough:

ᕕ( ⁰ ▽ ⁰ )ᕗ On my way! 

 

SUNRISE:

lol

 

Joons_Only:

hurry up others 

 

Romantic:

others?

 

Joons_Only:

yes ‘others’ aka ‘not the maknaes therefore not important’

 

SUNRISE:

wow so hurtful

 

Joons_Only:

wow so truthful*

 

Kookie Dough:

☜(゚ヮ゚☜)

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ok well im done

 

Joons_Only:

dnt forget to bring ur presents

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i wont

 

SUNRISE:

he just left us at the table joon like smh

 

Ahjussi ♡:

joons w/ me

 

SUNRISE:

THE BETRAYAL

 

Romantic:

sorry hyung

 

Ahjussi ♡:

dnt be sorry hoseok should’ve notice a tree leaving the table

 

Romantic:

i hate u

 

Joons_Only:

hobi bring ur ass on! everybody is waiting on u

 

SUNRISE:

ur only waiting on me bc i was left behind but ok

 

Tae_Rex:

u can sit w me ahjussi

 

Ahjussi ♡:

theres no space 

move jungkook

 

Kookie Dough:

me?! why not jimin?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i wanna sit by jimin too

 

FairyFloss:

(¬‿¬) haha sucka

 

Kookie Dough:

(ノ ̄д ̄)ノ

 

Ahjussi ♡:

alright how do we decide who passes them out first

 

SUNRISE:

why cnt we pass them out at the same time?

 

Kookie Dough:

no we need time to roast the giver if the presents are weak

 

Ahjussi ♡:

exactly

sooo how we doing this?

 

Tae_Rex:

can i go last?

 

Joons_Only:

yes

the rest we’ll do by fashion sense

hobi tht makes u second to last

 

SUNRISE:

ヽ(●-`Д´-)ノ

 

FairyFloss:

(ಡ艸ಡ)

 

Joons_Only:

sorry to say but joon ur before hobi

 

Romantic:

babe

 

Joons_Only:

sorry i love u but those pants u wear are ugly

not to mention ur shoes

 

SUNRISE:

told u

 

Joons_Only:

then its jungkook

 

Kookie Dough:

WHAT! IM SPIFFY!

 

Joons_Only:

bc i pick out ur clothes

then its yoongi

 

Ahjussi ♡:

as long as u know i dress better than the 94z

 

Romantic:

Σ( ̄ロ ̄lll)

 

SUNRISE:

(`ェ´)

 

Kookie Dough:

how is yoongi hyung better dressed than me? all he wears is black

 

Ahjussi ♡:

lies!

 

FairyFloss:

i kno u not talking jungkook

 

Joons_Only:

hes higher than u bc i said so

then its jimin

 

FairyFloss:

ᵔᴥᵔ

 

Joons_Only:

and bc i am beautiful regardless im first

 

SUNRISE:

u always first

 

Joons_Only:

bc im beautiful

NOW! my presents arent rlly traditional but wht the hell right?

here u ingrates (excluding my three favs) go

 

Kookie Dough:

i got a...credit card

 

Joons_Only:

i told my dad i adopted a poor boy and needed to get him a card

he said no at first but i showed him ur picture and he gave this to me the next day

dw abt its limit

 

Kookie Dough:

omf THANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!! 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

my foot! u fking stepped on my foot!

 

SUNRISE:

he just wanted to hug jin hyung

dnt be mean

 

Ahjussi ♡:

my. foot. 

 

FairyFloss:

ok how come he gets a credit card and i get a piece of paper?

 

SUNRISE:

cimcf thts wht u get nugget head

 

Joons_Only:

its an envelope jimin

 

Romantic:

did u even open it?

 

FairyFloss:

OMG HYUNG OMFG

 

Joons_Only:

im amazing i know

 

Tae_Rex:

wht is it minnie?

 

FairyFloss:

its two tickets for a big bang concert

its in two weeks

 

Kookie Dough:

aww man i love bigbang 

jimin lets trade

 

FairyFloss:

i got two tickets boi! who else would i be taking!?

 

Kookie Dough:

...

 

SUNRISE:

he fainted! 

 

Joons_Only:

u just let him hit the floor hobi?

 

SUNRISE:

he aint my kid lol

my turn now!

 

Romantic:

i hope its something u need

 

FairyFloss:

i doubt hyung could stuff an entire wardrobe into tht little box

 

Ahjussi ♡:

tht box is not small

 

FairyFloss:

its not big enough for a wardrobe now is it?

 

SUNRISE:

its...books

its a box of books

 

Joons_Only:

oh stop pouting

theyre not just any books

look at twenty thousand leagues under the sea

what edition is it?

 

SUNRISE:

uhhh first edition

...are all these first edition? OMG THESE ARE ALL FIRST EDITION BOOKS 

 

Kookie Dough:

wht happened?

 

FairyFloss:

u passed out like a loser and hobi hyungs next

 

SUNRISE:

this mustve cost a shit ton of money!!

 

Joons_Only:

not really

my mom used to collect books when she was younger but she lost interest so we just have a room full of books collecting dust

i grabbed some of ur favorites

 

SUNRISE:

this is a serious declaration fellas ok? take this seriously hyung ok?

 

Joons_Only:

ok

 

SUNRISE:

will u dump joon and date me?

 

Romantic:

wtf

what happened to this morning hobi?

 

SUNRISE:

this morning hobi was naive and foolish

jin hyung i love u

 

Kookie Dough:

ultimate betrayal lmao

 

Joons_Only:

i love u too sweetie but ill stay w/ namjoon

the boi needs me

 

Romantic:

hey!

 

SUNRISE:

u right 

he’s hopeless 

 

Romantic:

HEY!

 

Joons_Only:

open ur box namjoon

 

Romantic:

fine

 

FairyFloss:

i bet its smth nasty

 

Tae_Rex:

but what if its not food?

 

FairyFloss:

uhhh

 

Ahjussi ♡:

tread carefully jimin

 

FairyFloss:

affirmative 

 

Romantic:

oh WOW babe

 

Joons_Only:

I know, right! 

 

SUNRISE:

wht is it?

 

Romantic:

there are youngsters present hobi hyung

 

FairyFloss:

called it

 

Joons_Only:

i figured we could make a weekend of it 

 

Romantic:

an entire weekend?

 

Joons_Only:

yep

 

Romantic:

this one is flavored! and is this a tail?

 

SUNRISE:

ALRIGHTY! enough of tht yoongi hyung its ur turn

 

Ahjussi ♡:

its an onesie

 

Kookie Dough:

how do u know? u didnt even open it yet

 

Ahjussi ♡:

bc he called me while he bought it

‘hey i found this cute af onesie for u bitch better wear it’

 

Joons_Only:

tonight!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

we’ll see

tae its ur turn

 

Tae_Rex:

i have a gift?

 

Romantic:

...

 

Joons_Only:

here baby its this one

 

Tae_Rex:

oh thank you hyung

 

Ahjussi ♡:

open it first

 

Tae_Rex:

ok ahjussi!

 

Joons_Only:

i didnt know wht to get u at first but i saw this and knew ud like it

 

Tae_Rex:

its a ‘build ur own accessories’ kit 

(。♥‿♥。) i love it hyung!

 

Joons_Only:

u told me once tht u like unique things so i figured ud love making ur own special stuff

 

SUNRISE:

hes crying!

 

Tae_Rex:

thank you hyung

 

Joons_Only:

dnt cry sweetie

its ok

 

Kookie Dough:

my heart cant take this

 

Ahjussi ♡:

then have a heart attack 

 

Kookie Dough:

cnt u die from those?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

my point exactly

 

FairyFloss:

...damn!

Chapter Text

FairyFloss:

alrighty everyone it’s my turn!

 

SUNRISE:

wht u get everyone?

 

FairyFloss:

shut up hobi hyung

 

SUNRISE:

\(@O@)/

 

FairyFloss:

Ok! my presents are the sky blue ones they have ur names on them

that’s not urs jungkook

 

Kookie Dough:

i kno tht!

i can read!

 

Joons_Only:

yea sure give me my box

 

Romantic:

whos gonna open theirs first?

 

FairyFloss:

open them at the same time actually

 

Ahjussi ♡:

this box better not have smth weird in it

 

FairyFloss:

just open it!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

fine!

 

Tae_Rex:

╰( ◕ ᗜ ◕ )╯it’s a jacket

 

Romantic:

a letterman jacket

 

Kookie Dough:

...u got us matching jackets?

 

FairyFloss:

yep! i got everyone a different color tho

look on the back!

 

Joons_Only:

aww! it has my name and year on it! ‘Kim Seokjin ‘92’

and mines is pink with white sleeves

 

SUNRISE:

wht abt u jimin? 

 

FairyFloss:

i got one too it’s light blue with white sleeves

soo do u like them?

 

Tae_Rex:

i love it! ヾ(o✪‿✪o)シ

thank u so much minnie!

 

FairyFloss:

(*ノ∀`*) its no big deal

 

Romantic:

i hope these didn’t cost a lot

 

FairyFloss:

dw hyung it didn’t cost tht much

the store was going out of business so there was a huge sale so the jackets were basically free

 

Ahjussi ♡:

and our names?

 

FairyFloss:

i got customized patches but my mom was able to put them on

so u guys rlly like them?

 

SUNRISE:

hells yes boi

we got squad jackets

 

FairyFloss:

☆~~ヾ(>▽<)ノ。・☆

 

Tae_Rex:

jinnie hyung ill be back

im just getting some water

 

Joons_Only:

ok sweetie

 

Kookie Dough:

i have a complaint 

 

SUNRISE:

( -_-) ofc u do

 

Kookie Dough:

shut up hobi hyung

 

SUNRISE:

now LOOK U LIL WIDE FACE CHICKEN

 

Romantic:

(ꐦ ´͈ ᗨ `͈ )

 

Kookie Dough:

how come everybody else got their fav colors but i got pink n black?

 

FairyFloss:

u got pink and black?

 

Kookie Dough:

yes jimin u betrayed me

 

FairyFloss:

tht shouldnt be urs

 

SUNRISE:

let me see

boi thts not pink! thts red! the sleeves are red!

 

Kookie Dough:

oooh

 

Romantic:

i was abt to say bc mine is black w/ pink sleeves

u were abt to be jumped jimin

 

Joons_Only:

its like we have couple jackets joon

 

SUNRISE:

which isnt fair bc i love namjoon more

 

Romantic:

u just tried to steal my boyfriend not even ten minutes ago

 

SUNRISE:

and?

 

Kookie Dough:

i have another complaint

 

FairyFloss:

omf what?

 

Kookie Dough:

dnt take tht tone w/ me boi

how come i had to get a secondary color but yoongi hyung got to get black on black?

 

FairyFloss:

he told me he wouldn’t wear it if it wasnt all black

 

Kookie Dough:

he knew u were buying letterman jackets?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

he needed to know wht color i was allowing on my body

 

Kookie Dough:

...i have another complaint 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

nope shut up its my turn now

here bitches

 

SUNRISE:

i cnt even pretend to be surprised at this wrapping paper 

 

Romantic:

i can

black hyung? rlly?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

like my heart

open them

 

SUNRISE:

here i go!

...its lotion

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i went a lil more traditional and got everybody wht they needed

hoseok, ur knees be ashy all the time and im tired of seeing tht shit

 

Kookie Dough:

we’re supposed to roast the giver and not the recipient 

 

FairyFloss:

im afraid of opening mine now

 

Romantic:

ill go next then

wtf

 

Joons_Only:

he gave him bubble wrap 

 

Kookie Dough:

(◍˃̶ᗜ˂̶◍)ノ”

 

SUNRISE:

ooh we can use tht for the house joon

 

Romantic:

no one loves me 

 

Joons_Only:

excuse me bitch

 

Romantic:

no one loves but the love of my life kim seokjin most beautiful man in the universe*

 

Joons_Only:

ok then

now wht do i got? ooh lalala i got egyptian cotton sheets

 

Ahjussi ♡:

youve been complaining abt ur sensitive skin so i got u better sheets

 

Joons_Only:

ur so sweet yoongi thank you

 

Kookie Dough:

how the hell he get fancy ass sheets and i get a bar of soap?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

tht soap should cure the death i smell from ur toes

 

Kookie Dough:

i keep telling u ppl my feet dnt stink!

 

FairyFloss:

i’ve known u since u were in diapers (aka 12) so i can say with absolute certainty tht ur feet are poisonous 

 

Kookie Dough:

i was not in diapers jimin and i will harm u

 

FairyFloss:

my turn!

i got uhh wtf is this?

 

SUNRISE:

let me see

u didnt even take off the bubble wrap jimin

 

FairyFloss:

oh right

 

Romantic:

there must be something in that water in busan

 

Joons_Only:

thts plausible

 

Kookie Dough:

why u say that?

 

Joons_Only:

(;¬_ლ)

 

FairyFloss:

its a new skincare kit!!!!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yea u talked my damn ear off abt it so i figured wht the hell

 

FairyFloss:

thankyouthankyouthankyou

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yea wtvr

its taes turn now!

 

Kookie Dough:

uhhh where is he?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

wdym? u didnt see him leave? where he at?

 

Kookie Dough:

uh u were sitting beside him not me so dnt get mad at me

 

Joons_Only:

he went to get some water earlier 

hold up ill go check on him

 

Romantic:

ill go w/ u

 

SUNRISE:

tht boi got light feet

which is surprising bc he also got big feet

 

Kookie Dough:

ur face looks like a big foot

 

SUNRISE:

the nerve

 

FairyFloss:

nono his head looks like a mutated cashew if anything

 

SUNRISE:

i will use this lotion bottle to slap u idiots

 

Ahjussi ♡:

no! why not one of ur books?

 

SUNRISE:

cuz this is lotion and those books cost more than my life so

 

Ahjussi ♡:

u so ungrateful 

 

SUNRISE:

why r yall ganging up on me? 

 

FairyFloss:

ur an easy target

 

Joons_Only:

awww

 

Romantic:

[image sent]

 

look at the pouty baby

 

Joons_Only:

guess he went into his room and fell asleep

 

SUNRISE:

wake him up!

 

FairyFloss:

no hes sick hyung!

 

SUNRISE:

oh right

let him sleep!

 

Kookie Dough:

should we stop w/ the presents?

ooh lets play a game

 

FairyFloss:

ur life is a game hush up

 

Kookie Dough:

(ง’̀-‘́)ง

 

Joons_Only:

we can do the rest tmr

joon and yoongi need to get to class soon anyways

 

Ahjussi ♡:

should i rlly go? i mean school benefits no one

just look at jungkook

 

Kookie Dough:

i prosper in school boi wht u talking bout?

 

SUNRISE:

u barely go to class

 

Kookie Dough:

and yet i STILL dance better than u

 

SUNRISE:

the FALSEHOOD!!

 

Joons_Only:

no impromptu dance battles! taehyung is asleep!

yoongi get ur ass up and get to class

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ughh

everybody in tht class is pointless

 

Romantic:

...im in ur class hyung

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i stand by my statement 

 

Kookie Dough:

it must be roast central up in here

 

Romantic:

u standing looks like me sitting hyung so do you

 

SUNRISE:

SHOTS FIRED TAKE COVER

 

Ahjussi ♡:

thts fine w/ ur giraffe neck and bull nostrils

 

Romantic:

dnt talk abt my nostrils!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

dnt dish what u cant take dumbo!

 

Romantic:

babe hes talking abt my ears! do smth!

 

SUNRISE:

u do got some big ass ears

 

Romantic:

im in peril rn

 

Kookie Dough:

dnt u mean ‘pearl’?

boi u cnt spell

 

Joons_Only:

u lucky u handsome jk or ud get nowhere in life

 

Kookie Dough:

huh? wht did i do?

 

FairyFloss:

go take a nap jungkook clearly ur overheating

 

Kookie Dough:

i dnt feel loved and cherished by u ppl

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i hope thts true

Chapter Text

Kookie Dough:

its saturday! my day!

 

FairyFloss:

ur the only one still hooked on tht yk?

 

Kookie Dough:

a week from now everyone will be doing campus-wide activities in ur name so pls gtfo

 

FairyFloss:

theres a difference between a new college event that I say nothing abt and u announcing ur glory every saturday morning 

 

Kookie Dough:

i announce my glory EVERY morning 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

this is true

its a bad habit he acquired from kim seokjin 

 

Joons_Only:

how is knowing ur amazing a bad habit?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

u can kno ur amazing thats a good thing

it becomes a bad habit when i walk into the living room @ four in the morning bc u and jk are doing a loud ass fashion show complete w/ music mirrors and strange ppl in my house

 

Kookie Dough:

tht only happened once

 

SUNRISE:

u had strange ppl in ur house?

 

Joons_Only:

no

we printed flyers out and passed them around for ppl to come to our fashion show

intellectuals showed up to compliment us

 

Ahjussi ♡:

they were weirdos

only crazy ppl wake up at a strange hr to go to a strangers house and watch strangers try on different outfits 

 

Romantic:

who thought tht was even a good idea? they couldve been dangerous

 

Joons_Only:

we had security

 

SUNRISE:

who?

 

Kookie Dough:

hyung hid a machete behind the full-length mirror 

we were ready to sam and dean any and all supernatural creatures if necessary 

 

FairyFloss:

i thought u said u didnt like tht show

 

SUNRISE:

jin hyung and i convene to watch it on netflix on a weekly basis

 

Kookie Dough:

ive been converted

 

FairyFloss:

smh

 

Romantic:

so we just gonna skate over the fact they were ready to behead complete strangers?

 

SUNRISE:

only if they were vampires

 

Joons_Only:

or an alpha

 

Kookie Dough:

or a Jefferson Starship

if they were wendigos, we would’ve had to pull out yoongi hyungs gasoline

 

Ahjussi ♡:

as long as u refill it

 

Kookie Dough:

(゚∇^d)

 

FairyFloss:

ummm

 

Romantic:

nvm babe wht time are we exchanging the rest of the gifts?

 

Joons_Only:

u guys can come over now if u want

 

FairyFloss:

wheres taetae?

 

Joons_Only:

hes taking a shower rn

for the most part hes better now but he still has the sniffles

 

Ahjussi ♡:

so hes ok?

 

Joons_Only:

that is wht i just said

 

SUNRISE:

so we can come over now?

 

Joons_Only:

tht is also wht i just said 

 

Kookie Dough:

wht abt breakfast?

 

Joons_Only:

i might not be home but yoongi can cook breakfast just fine

 

Kookie Dough:

i dnt want his food! urs is made w/ love and correct proportions of seasonings!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

boi

 

FairyFloss:

true true

did u see how he butchered hyungs special soup?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

first of all

 

SUNRISE:

didnt even have the right ratio for the meat and veggies 

and there was too much liquid

 

Joons_Only:

THATS WHT I THOUGHT TOO

 

Ahjussi ♡:

u kno wht?

fuck u all

 

SUNRISE:

sorry babe i love u but the tastebuds dnt lie

 

Ahjussi ♡:

uhh

so we’re coming over now? ill be there soon

...bye

 

Romantic:

bye

 

 

[Happy Feet]

 

DancePrince:

...

 

DanceSlave:

my thoughts exactly

hobi hyung wtf

 

DanceKing:

wht? wht did i do?

if this is abt the soup, me being in love w/ him doesnt change facts

 

DanceSlave:

u fool

jimin, educate this idiot

 

DancePrince:

with pleasure

first its not “me being” its “my being”

 

DanceKing:

sounds fake

 

DancePrince:

u sound stupid

and second “babe i love u”

 

DanceKing:

i dnt understand

 

DancePrince:

omf

 

DanceSlave:

hyung U texted MIN YOONGI and i quote “babe i love u” in the gc

wtf were u thinking!?

 

DanceKing:

wht? no i didnt

.

.

.

omfg I DID

 

DancePrince:

yes dummy u did

 

DanceKing:

WHY DID I DO THAT?

 

DanceSlave:

we have no idea! thts wht we are asking u!

 

DanceKing:

then he got all weird and disappeared 

i think im gonna pass out

 

DancePrince:

dnt freak out hyung! this is fixable

 

DanceSlave:

i disagree

hyung go nuts

 

DanceKing:

order received 

AHHHHHHASJLFJVAAAHHHH

 

DancePrince:

hyung chill im serious we can fix this

 

DanceKing:

how?

guys i know i keep saying how in love i am w/ the center of my universe one min yoongi but im not ready

if he knows and rejects me im 100% sure ill stab myself in the eye

 

DanceSlave:

but wht if he wants to be w/ u?

 

DanceKing:

in stabbing myself in the throat

like srsly the thought of any confrontation is making my skin crawl and i feel like throwing up istg

 

DanceSlave:

wow

ur just all over the place arent u?

 

DancePrince:

jungkook shut up

hyung there will not be a confrontation bc he wont know

i have a plan

 

DanceSlave:

move to mexico?

 

DancePrince:

once again jungkook shut up

 

DanceSlave:

(; ̄ー ̄)

 

DanceKing:

wht plan? how plan? who plan?

 

DanceSlave:

tht makes no sense

 

DancePrince:

when we get together we will call each other babe

 

DanceKing:

...me and you?

 

DancePrince:

No! are u crazy? if hyung likes u and thinks we’re sleeping together he will kill me

nonono me u and jk

 

DanceSlave:

wht good is this plan of urs?

 

DancePrince:

everybody will just think its a weird thing we are doing now like tht time we wore our pants on our heads and shoes on our hands

 

DanceSlave:

how was tht weird?

 

DanceKing:

tht was to keep aliens away

 

DancePrince:

i kno but we got some looks

point is once we do it to each other a bunch yoongi hyung will just think its a habit u have tht accidentally spilled over into the gc

 

DanceSlave:

ahhhhhh i understand

 

DanceKing:

and ur sure this will work?

 

DancePrince:

can i dance?

 

DanceSlave:

barely

 

DancePrince:

...

 

DanceKing:

all tht aside, dnt forget to bring ur presents

 

DanceSlave:

i left them @ taes place

 

DanceKing:

thts surprisingly v smart

when u getting here?

 

DanceSlave:

yoongi hyung and i just entered the lobby

 

DanceKing:

...

 

DancePrince:

...you were w hyung this whole time?

 

DanceSlave:

uh duhh? we live together and i dnt have money to pay for cab fare by myself

 

DancePrince:

he couldve seen the texts u fiend!

 

DanceKing:

curse ur poverty

 

DancePrince:

he has a limitless credit card

how poor can he be?

 

DanceKing:

tru

 

DanceSlave:

dnt hate on me losers

babes*

 

DanceKing:

nothing to hate on asshole

babe*

 

DancePrince:

clearly this will be more difficult than we planned

 

DanceSlave:

ur exact thought when u entered college

Chapter Text

SUNRISE:

is it my turn to give out presents yet?

 

Joons_Only:

not a chance

 

FairyFloss:

ur last hyung

 

Tae_Rex:

i thought i was last

 

FairyFloss:

you are tae

 

SUNRISE:

am i last or is he last? 

 

Joons_Only:

in terms of fashion u are last

in terms of gift-giving tae is last

no more questions or ill inflict pain

 

Kookie Dough:

its my turn!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

wait! taehyung didnt open my present yesterday

 

Kookie Dough:

oh right

 

Tae_Rex:

ahjussi u got me smth?

☆*:. o(≧▽≦)o .:*☆

 

SUNRISE:

dnt get too happy his gifts were horrible

 

Ahjussi ♡:

necessary*

 

Kookie Dough:

naw my boo thang hobi hyung was right

 

Joons_Only:

???

 

FairyFloss:

here u go taehyung

 

Tae_Rex:

is it supposed to be black?

 

Romantic:

lmao

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yes it is

 

Tae_Rex:

ok

 

Kookie Dough:

what is it? 

 

FairyFloss:

not a medicated bar of soap

 

Kookie Dough:

very funny jimin

babe

jimin my babe

 

Romantic:

i had smth to say but i decided not to say it

 

Joons_Only:

self control is a good trait in a man

 

Tae_Rex:

its a polaroid camera!

i love it ahjussi!

 

Romantic:

why a camera?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

tae told me once he wanted an original instant camera but couldnt find one so when i went home i took it from my mothers father

 

Joons_Only:

aka ur grandfather

 

Ahjussi ♡:

his loins are the cause of my pain and suffering every time i go home

he is my mothers father and nothing more

 

FairyFloss:

rofl

 

Romantic:

so u stole an old mans camera?

 

Tae_Rex:

this is stolen?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

no its not

namjoon shut up

 

Romantic:

i didn’t even do anything!

 

SUNRISE:

i told u joon

u talk too much

 

Kookie Dough:

is it my turn now?

 

Joons_Only:

yes

 

Kookie Dough:

୧☉□☉୨ YAAAAAASSSS

here u go losers

 

FairyFloss:

is this toilet paper?

 

SUNRISE:

u wrapped these in toilet paper

 

Kookie Dough:

and u guys can reuse it

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ur fucking gross

 

Kookie Dough:

just open them!

 

Romantic:

u got me a...pencil

 

Kookie Dough:

so u can help me w/ my homework

 

Joons_Only:

i got a bag of rice

 

Kookie Dough:

so u can cook it w/ every meal at home

 

Tae_Rex:

*gasp*

u got me paintbrushes kookie! theyre so pretty!

 

Kookie Dough:

i got the most expensive set i could find

 

SUNRISE:

so he got fancy paintbrushes and i got car freshener?

 

Kookie Dough:

so ur car smells nice when i get in it

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i got a padlock

 

Kookie Dough:

so i can lock u in ur room when ur irritating me or disturbing hyungs and my tv time

 

Joons_Only:

u do interrupt us a lot

 

Ahjussi ♡:

cuz u ppl think an acceptable movie marathon time is midnight and then proceed to watch scary movies where u scream and cry all night long

 

Kookie Dough:

i dnt think i can recall such a time

can u hyung?

 

Joons_Only:

nope

 

FairyFloss:

...u gave me a list of restaurants 

 

Kookie Dough:

so u know where to take me for the next eleven months

 

Romantic:

all this stuff benefits u

 

Kookie Dough:

how DARE

that is not true!

 

Romantic:

yes it is! all of ur explanations revolved around u!

 

Kookie Dough:

how do taehyungs paintbrushes revolve around me? hmm? im waiting

 

Romantic:

that is an anomaly 

 

Kookie Dough:

dnt try to use words i dont know to get out of this kim namjoon

 

FairyFloss:

kookie my babe my love the light of my life chill

 

Kookie Dough:

only for u my honey bunches of jimin

 

SUNRISE:

is it my turn yet?

 

Romantic:

no i dress better than u therefore its my turn

 

SUNRISE:

i would like to contest the order of gift-givers

if it is based on dress, obviously namjoon should be last

 

Romantic:

what!?

 

Joons_Only:

do u have any evidence to support ur claims?

 

Romantic:

do not entertain this fool!

 

SUNRISE:

yes i do your honor

he wears these ugly baggy pants all the time w no ass to keep them up

 

Romantic:

ive been doing squats!

 

SUNRISE:

he has these more than ugly beanies he wears everywhere that show off that big ass forehead and them gargantuan ears

 

Romantic:

my beanies are stylish!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

dnt kid urself namjoon

 

Romantic:

( ̄□ ̄;)

 

Joons_Only:

babe u have anything to support ur position as a better dresser than hoseok?

 

Romantic:

the guys wears his underwear inside out half the time and he wears his pants on his head 

 

SUNRISE:

its a protection from aliens namjoon! 

 

FairyFloss:

u tell him babe!

 

Joons_Only:

...

hobi ur still last

 

SUNRISE:

fuck my life

 

Kookie Dough:

cheer up sexy! the sun always rises from the east meaning ull always dance better than namjoon hyung

 

SUNRISE:

that soothed me my heart thx

 

Kookie Dough:

(◍•ᴗ•◍)♡ ✧*。

 

Ahjussi ♡:

is it me or are those three being rlly weird?

 

Joons_Only:

think abt who ur talking abt and then get back to me

joon, its ur turn

 

Romantic:

cool beans

tae can u help me get it out the room?

 

Tae_Rex:

(*≧▽≦) lets go hyung!

 

SUNRISE:

it?

 

Tae_Rex:

we’ll be back

 

FairyFloss:

tht was v ominous 

 

Kookie Dough:

how? they werent lighting up

 

FairyFloss:

wht the hell r u talking abt sugarplum?

 

Joons_Only:

u guys are being super weird today 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i agree

 

SUNRISE:

my heart has been scarred by the harsh words of others

 

Kookie Dough:

u monsters

 

Joons_Only:

why do i even bother?

 

FairyFloss:

whoa

thats a big box

 

SUNRISE:

its the inside that counts

u have a big head but its totally empty

 

FairyFloss:

babe

harsh

 

Kookie Dough:

babe was just speaking facts

 

FairyFloss:

babe needs to look in the mirror before supporting other babes

 

Kookie Dough:

babe needs to stop lying to himself and accept babe looks like the underside of a public table

 

FairyFloss:

babe bout to get wrecked

 

Kookie Dough:

is babe ready?

 

SUNRISE:

babes chill

 

Joons_Only:

all of yall need to stfu namjoon is trying to present his box

 

SUNRISE:

lets just call it his jimin

 

FairyFloss:

lets call that bowl hoseok

 

SUNRISE:

lets call sewers ur home

 

Ahjussi ♡:

all idiots will cease and desist b4 i am forced to stand

if i get off this floor i will have no choice but to smother u with my jacket

 

Kookie Dough:

ive done nor said nothing

 

Ahjussi ♡:

go ahead namjoon

 

Romantic:

alrighty

i bought us smth cool ok? dnt roast me

 

Joons_Only:

we make no promises

 

Tae_Rex:

dw its so cool hyung! 

how do we open it?

 

Romantic:

we need a sharp instrument

hold on let me get a knife

 

Joons_Only:

HALT

i will get the knife

last thing we need is for u to almost lose ur finger

 

Ahjussi ♡:

again

 

Kookie Dough :

this is discrimination

 

SUNRISE:

whose side are u on?

 

Kookie Dough:

i havent decided yet

 

FairyFloss:

(-‸ლ)

 

Romantic:

drumroll pls

 

Ahjussi ♡:

are we really bringing this shit back?

 

Romantic:

jungkook if ull pls

 

Kookie Dough:

omf why is it always me?

 

Tae_Rex:

i can do it!

 

SUNRISE:

go ahead tae

 

Kookie Dough:

Hey!

 

SUNRISE:

u snooze u lose beyotch

go ahead tae

 

Tae_Rex:

╰( ◕ ᗜ ◕ )╯

badum tish! ♪♪♪

 

FairyFloss:

ooh tht onomatopoeia tho

 

Kookie Dough:

again with these big words

 

Romantic:

i got us a Titan 5 Machine Capsule Gum Candy Combo

 

SUNRISE:

...a what?

 

Romantic:

u heard me hyung

i got us a titan. five machine capsule. gum candy combo. 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

and wtf are we gonna do with this titan five machine capsule gum candy combo?

 

Kookie Dough:

sooo its a giant candy machine?

 

FairyFloss:

im gathering there might be toys

 

Romantic:

ok so the two top are capsule machines and the three bottom are for candy/gum

 

SUNRISE:

why’d u say candy/gum? is gum not a candy?

 

Joons_Only:

gum falls under ‘sugar confections’ bc sugar is its main ingredient like other candies so yes

 

Ahjussi ♡:

then wht abt sugar-free candy? is it no longer candy without sugar?

 

Joons_Only:

ask Siri

joon, continue

 

Romantic:

reading the description i have a correction to make

only one of the top vendors is for capsules the other one is for stickers/tattoos 

seems i accidentally ordered the Beaver 5 Head Combo

 

Tae_Rex:

we ordered it in red too

 

Romantic:

dammit

 

Kookie Dough:

u expect me to pay real money for a gumball and a fke tattoo?

 

FairyFloss:

shut up husband u so would

 

SUNRISE:

plus its only a coin

 

Kookie Dough:

every time! i know myself and i know with full confidence i would burn through my wallet on this damn thing

 

Joons_Only:

what wallet? u have no money to ur name

 

Kookie Dough:

i have a card now

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i doubt the gumball machine will take credit

 

Romantic:

i ordered it to free vend

 

Kookie Dough:

meaning?

 

Romantic:

u dnt have to pay to get the candy or anything

just turn the thing two times

 

Kookie Dough:

awesome!

 

Tae_Rex:

hyung and i had the idea to order empty capsules for one side so we could all write sweet encouragements in them 

when one of us are sad we can get one and read the happy message inside

 

Romantic:

then u replace the message with a new one 

 

Joons_Only:

so u want to recycle these capsules?

 

Romantic:

hell yea boi 

do u know how much this thing cost? esp since this is the more expensive one i def did not order

dnt be expecting any dates out of me for the next forever

i might have to call these ppl

 

Ahjussi ♡:

just where are we putting this thing?

 

Romantic:

i was thinking ur place

 

Ahjussi ♡:

fuck no

 

Romantic:

its where everyone convenes majority of the time

 

SUNRISE:

this is true

 

Joons_Only:

how are we gonna get this big ass box from up here to downstairs into a car then up into my apartment?

 

Romantic:

babe we can figure that out tmr

 

Joons_Only:

we?

 

Romantic:

yep 

me and you

 

Joons_Only:

now hold tf on

 

SUNRISE:

is it finally my turn?

pls someone say yes

 

Romantic:

thx babe

 

Tae_Rex:

its ur turn hyung (✿◠‿◠)

 

SUNRISE:

FINALLLYYYY

 

Joons_Only:

now just hold on one second

 

SUNRISE:

my babes my lil big macs!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

that is an oxymoron

 

SUNRISE:

im not stupid

 

Romantic:

mmmmm

 

FairyFloss:

dnt come for my pumpkin latte w extra whipped cream!

 

Kookie Dough:

yea! leave our nice, good book on a cool rainy day alone!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

???

 

SUNRISE:

so loyal

 

Joons_Only:

im fking drained

 

Tae_Rex:

hyung they didnt send the candy with it

 

Romantic:

WTF

WHO DID MY ORDER!

 

Joons_Only:

i regret everything tht got me here

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i now have a comrade

huzzah

Chapter Text

SUNRISE:

gather around children santa has arrrived

 

Ahjussi ♡:

here we go

 

Kookie Dough:

shhh

my life partner is talking

 

SUNRISE:

thank u

i will hand these off based on who i love the most

taehyung u first

 

Tae_Rex:

(◍•ᴗ•◍)♡ ✧*。

 

Joons_Only:

tht was a given

who next?

 

SUNRISE:

hmmmm

 

Romantic:

come on now hobi

 

SUNRISE:

this is hard 

i love everyone sm

 

FairyFloss:

babe no one asked u to hand them out this way

 

SUNRISE:

...

yoongi hyung and jungkook

 

Kookie Dough:

(つ▀¯▀)つ get at me bitches

 

Ahjussi ♡:

thx

 

FairyFloss:

i am appalled 

 

Romantic:

YOU?

 

SUNRISE:

jin hyung and jimin

 

Joons_Only:

i hope it’s expensive 

 

FairyFloss:

(─‿─) my cookies and cream

 

Romantic:

W

O

W

U

B

I

T

C

H

 

SUNRISE:

aaand namjoon

 

Romantic:

and to think i face timed u on the regular during break

 

SUNRISE:

(〃∇〃) just open them

my gummy bears first

oh tht includes tae too this time

 

Kookie Dough:

(¬‿¬) tht maknae life

 

FairyFloss:

lmfao

its a skin care gift basket!

 

SUNRISE:

yes it is bc i kno u like to keep tht face baby soft

fking yoongi hyung stole my idea

 

Ahjussi ♡:

pfft u lie

 

FairyFloss:

THANK YOU MY SWEET ANGEL

 

SUNRISE:

i live to please

 

Tae_Rex:

oooh its a build ur own robot kit

this is so cool

 

Joons_Only:

i feel like u poached ideas off everybody

 

SUNRISE:

hush up stop hating

macaroon, its ur turn

 

Kookie Dough:

i got scented candles

 

SUNRISE:

yep they’re ur favorite so u can burn them while u sleep 

 

Joons_Only:

oh hell naw

 

Kookie Dough:

HYUNG

 

Joons_Only:

idfc

thts how ur ass ended up on my couch in the first place

 

Kookie Dough:

but they are vanilla!

 

Joons_Only:

so were the last ones!

 

Kookie Dough:

ugh

 

Tae_Rex:

its ok kookie

u can burn them now

 

Kookie Dough:

i can?

 

Tae_Rex:

i like the smell of vanilla and it would make u happy

 

Kookie Dough:

thx tae!

 

Tae_Rex:

(✿◠‿◠)

 

Joons_Only:

im opening mine now

 

Romantic:

whoop de doo

 

FairyFloss:

aww babe u hurt his feelings

 

SUNRISE:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

Romantic:

wtvr

 

Joons_Only:

ok back to me brats

 

Tae_Rex:

what’d u get hyung?

 

Joons_Only:

a cookbook

 

SUNRISE:

not just any cookbook

 

Joons_Only:

oh its the one i wanted!

tyvm hoseok i love u!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ur happy over a simple cookbook?

 

Joons_Only:

no stupid its the french cuisine one i wanted

ive been dying to try out chicken marengo ever since i saw it on pinterest

srsly thank you hobi

 

SUNRISE:

im amazing i kno

yoongi hyung ur turn

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ok

 

Kookie Dough:

chop chop old man

 

Ahjussi ♡:

dnt provoke me jungkook

oh i like this thx

 

Joons_Only:

bitch what is it?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

its a literal f bomb paperweight 

 

Kookie Dough:

babe what is literal?

 

FairyFloss:

to take wht he said in its most basic form

 

Kookie Dough:

so like?

 

FairyFloss:

an f bomb is the word “fuck” but in its literal sense its the letter ‘f’ and a bomb

 

Kookie Dough:

ahhhhhhhh

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i like this its going on my desk

 

SUNRISE:

(⌒∇⌒)

joon ur turn

 

Romantic:

im good

 

Joons_Only:

joon

 

Romantic:

im lowkey mad rn

 

FairyFloss:

this was LOWKEY?

 

Kookie Dough:

somebody needs to explain to hyung wht tht means

 

Joons_Only:

namjoon

open ur gift

now

 

Romantic:

*sigh*

 

Tae_Rex:

i bet its smth rlly gr8 hyung

 

SUNRISE:

indeed it is tae indeed it is

 

Romantic:

omg

 

Joons_Only:

what?

 

Romantic:

OMFG

 

Kookie Dough:

what what?

 

Romantic:

hoseok i love u

 

SUNRISE:

boi u know it

i only said u last so ud open ur present last

how could i possibly love jungkook more than u?

 

Kookie Dough:

...

 

FairyFloss:

damn babe uve been voted off the island

 

Kookie Dough:

im just gonna sit here and sniff my candles

 

Ahjussi ♡:

u do tht

namjoon whts ur gift?

 

Romantic:

jung hoseok, the true love of my life and the only person on this planet i need, got me charts

 

Joons_Only:

i have just received gr8 disrespect

 

Ahjussi ♡:

ur this happy over...charts?

 

Romantic:

not just any charts tho hyung

he got me literary insult charts 

now i can roast u losers w/ great works of classic on my side

 

Kookie Dough:

???

 

FairyFloss:

*cough* nerd loser geek *cough*

 

Romantic:

Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

Wilson Mizner, 1876-1933

 

Joons_Only:

jimin u need some cream for tht burn!!!

 

FairyFloss:

babes aid me

 

SUNRISE:

sorry babe he got u

 

FairyFloss:

JUNGKOOK THERES A TRAITOR IN OUR MIDST

 

Kookie Dough:

it really be ur own

everyone bow ur head for a moment in silence in honor of hobi hyungs loyalty

may it rest in piece

 

Ahjussi ♡:

peace*

 

FairyFloss:

*bows head*

taetae bow ur head

 

Joons_Only:

dnt involve my baby in ur foolishness!

 

Tae_Rex:

ok minnie!

*bows head*

 

Kookie Dough:

♪ OOOOH SAY CAN U SEEEHEEEEE BY THE DAWNS EARLY LIGHHHTTTTT ♪

 

Joons_Only:

thts not our national anthem idiot

 

Kookie Dough:

oh right

♪ GOD SAVE THE QUEEN GOD SAVE OUR GRACIOUS QUEEN LONG LIVE OUR NOBLE QUEEN GOD SAVE THE QUEEN ♪

 

Ahjussi ♡:

no just no

 

Kookie Dough:

aux armes, citoyens formez vos bataillons?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

...

 

FairyFloss:

taehyung its ur turn

 

Tae_Rex:

o(≧∇≦o)(o≧∇≦)o

its my first chuseok so i hope my presents are ok

here u go

 

SUNRISE:

ur first chuseok?

 

Joons_Only:

hobi

 

SUNRISE:

?

 

Joons_Only:

not now

 

SUNRISE:

ok

 

Tae_Rex:

open them! open them! 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

are these? are these real jewels?

 

Tae_Rex:

三⊂( っ⌒◡|

 

FairyFloss:

tae wht are these?

 

Tae_Rex:

charm bracelets

i wanted to show u guys what i thought of you but it was so hard to choose a gift so i thought a charm bracelet would be a good idea

i only put a few charms on each one

 

Kookie Dough:

i think i got the wrong one

 

Joons_Only:

the name charm says your name kookie

 

Kookie Dough:

but but theres a ruby encrusted brain on here

 

Tae_Rex:

ur smarter than u think kookie

 

Kookie Dough:

...

 

Joons_Only:

tae how much did these things cost?

 

Tae_Rex:

what do you mean?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

this chain for one

this chain has two different colors of gold it had to cost a lot of money

 

Tae_Rex:

not a lot

each chain was only $1488

 

SUNRISE:

$1488!!!! Thats like thats...how much is that namjoon?

 

Romantic:

abt 16.75 million won

 

Kookie Dough:

◎☆(♯××)┘

 

SUNRISE:

and thts for a single chain! not to mention the customized name charms and these other charms!

tae we cant accept these

 

Tae_Rex:

(⊙.☉)7 why not? they’re chuseok gifts

 

Joons_Only:

tae chuseok gifts hell ANY gift should not be this expensive 

 

Tae_Rex:

but it wasnt expensive hyung i promise

 

FairyFloss:

taehyung u spent well over fifty million won for these bracelet chains alone

thats v expensive

 

Tae_Rex:

it is?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yes taehyung it is

tht is a lot of money to spend

 

Tae_Rex:

but...i have so much more

 

Joons_Only:

???

 

Kookie Dough:

how much more? 

 

Romantic:

thts beside the point

 

Tae_Rex:

pls take them pls! i didnt mean to ruin it im sorry

dnt be mad at me

 

Joons_Only:

tae no! we’re not mad at you!

 

Tae_Rex:

then why dont u want the bracelets?

 

FairyFloss:

bc u spent a lot A LOT of money on them and we dont want to take advantage of u

 

Tae_Rex:

i dnt understand

 

Joons_Only:

...it doesnt matter bc we’re keeping them

thank you taehyung 

 

Tae_Rex:

ull keep them?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

hyung!

 

Joons_Only:

hes right its a chuseok gift and its not fair if we expect him to accept ours but then get into a tizzy abt his

 

Romantic:

hyung

 

SUNRISE:

i love it taehyung tysm

 

Tae_Rex:

ur welcome hyung 

 

SUNRISE:

hey taeddy can u get me a cup of apple juice? my throat hurts from all the squealing and shrieking ive done today

 

Tae_Rex:

ok hyung 。^‿^。

does anyone else wnt smth to drink?

 

Joons_Only:

joon and i would like some hot tea

 

Romantic:

i dnt want any tea

 

Joons_Only:

yes. you do. 

 

Romantic:

ook yea sure 

 

Tae_Rex:

。◕‿◕。 coming right up hyungs 

 

 

[Just Desserts]

 

LilMochi:

hyung wtf

 

Maknae:

i thought after the whole minjoon thing we were on a tae gift strike

 

Joons_Future:

we were only hurting his feelings

 

Yoongi:

???

 

Hobi:

u heard him

he didnt understand why he couldnt spend his money on us

the more we tried to explain the more confused he was

 

Jins_Future:

then we couldve just explained it better

 

Joons_Future:

babe i dont think we could

we wouldve just destroyed his first chuseok

 

Maknae:

yea and wtf did THAT mean? how could this possibly be his first chuseok?

 

Hobi:

idk 

 

Maknae:

and hes never went bowling or to a carnival or had a birthday party or had friends

wht does this stuff mean? 

 

Yoongi:

i think he might be an orphan

 

Joons_Future:

then how did he get so much money? 

 

LilMochi:

a long lost family member died?

 

Jins_Future:

who knows? all i know is im staring at what feels like all the money we’ll make in our lives combined on my wrist

 

Maknae:

wht do we do? we eventually have to get taehyung to understand tht he cant just give out his money left or right or somebodys gonna use him and hurt him

 

Hobi:

like minjoon

 

Joons_Future:

honestly? taehyung doesnt see the world like we do 

he doesnt see the harm or the ugly so idk how we could make him understand the evil intentions of ppl

 

LilMochi:

so we just leave him to the forces of the universe?

 

Joons_Future:

no we dnt we just need to know how to protect him

 

Jins_Future:

u have to play to his sensibilities 

if u tell him not to buy smth bc its too much money he wont understand bc it seems like he got all the money to blow

he wont understand if we say someone has bad intentions bc he never has bad intentions himself so he doesnt realize that not all ppl are like tht

 

Joons_Future:

its like when taehyung wanted to buy jungkook a new place

i told him he shouldn’t bc jungkook doesnt like to live alone and he let it go

if i only said it was abt money jungkook would probably be in a penthouse rn

 

Yoongi:

so we just gotta know how to talk to him to get him to understand

 

Maknae:

hyungs?

 

Hobi:

yeah?

 

Jins_Future:

yeah?

 

Maknae:

i dont want anyone to hurt taehyung

he doesnt deserve it

 

Yoongi:

we know kookie we know

 

LilMochi:

so we will be his shield from the downsides of the world

 

Hobi:

d( ̄(エ) ̄d)

 

Kookie Dough:

we will be his protection squad!

 

Yoongi has renamed the chat The Defenders

 

Yoongi has changed their name to Dr. Strange

 

Dr. Strange:

we will defend!

 

LilMochi has changed their name to The Hulk

 

The Hulk:

HULK SMAAAASSHHHH

 

Joons_Future:

wtf

 

Maknae has changed their name to The Silver Surfer

 

The Silver Surfer:

try to kill me bitches

 

Joons_Future:

u ppl are children 

right hobi?

 

Hobi has changed their name to Namor

 

Namor:

i would like to be addressed as ‘the sub-mariner’ ‘the avenging son’ or ‘namor the first’

 

Jins_Future:

i dnt even kno why we bother

Chapter Text

[Together Forever]

 

SUNRISE:

we havent practiced in forever

 

Romantic:

practiced what?

 

SUNRISE:

wht do u think?

 

Kookie Dough:

how to dress

 

FairyFloss:

how to leave things unbroken

 

Kookie Dough:

how to dress

 

SUNRISE:

no

i meant for the showcase

 

Kookie Dough:

ahhhhh

 

FairyFloss:

makes sense

 

Ahjussi ♡:

no it doesnt

its a sunday morning wht the hell would i look like leaving my bed to go dance?

 

SUNRISE:

a go-getter?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

no id look imaginary bc its not happening 

 

Romantic:

why r u even up rn?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

stupid jungkook 

 

Kookie Dough:

( ̄□ ̄) 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

bc he proceeds to eat us out of house and home i have to watch him while hyung went to the store for food

 

SUNRISE:

watch him? like babysitting?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

yep

 

FairyFloss:

hes not a child hyung

 

Joons_Only:

last time we left his ass alone we came home to our refrigerator in the living room and the couch upside down

 

SUNRISE:

what? why?

 

Kookie Dough:

i was trying to build a man cave

 

Romantic:

...

 

Ahjussi ♡:

now im out here listening to spongebob squarepants @ four in the morning

 

FairyFloss:

its eight

 

SUNRISE:

and spongebob is life boi

 

Kookie Dough:

while tht is true (all hail plankton!) im not even watching spongebob

im watching scooby doo

 

FairyFloss:

even better!

 

Tae_Rex:

i love scooby doo!

 

Kookie Dough:

Tae!

 

Tae_Rex:

Kook!

 

Kookie Dough:

TAEKOOK POWER ☆

 

Tae_Rex:

TAEKOOK POWER ☆

 

FairyFloss:

im feeling so left out rn

 

SUNRISE: 

honestly 

but at least we’re not alone

 

Romantic:

speak for urselves bitches

“From deep in the underworld, a spark was born...”

 

Joons_Only:

wtf?

 

Tae_Rex:

“...though small, through constant love and hope it grew to be...” 

 

Romantic:

“...the source of the great friendship and family...”

TAEJOON ON THE RISE!

 

Tae_Rex:

TAEJOON ON THE RISE

 

Ahjussi ♡:

u made a power rangers intro?

 

Romantic:

dnt hate on us hyung

taegi is weak

 

Ahjussi ♡:

not true! taegi is the best thing on this damn planet!

 

Tae_Rex:

i love u all ♡(.◜ω◝.)♡

 

Kookie Dough:

stop lying boi! #Taekook4Life #WhatIsATaegi #FuckATaejoon #Taekook4DaWin!¡

 

SUNRISE:

is this rlly abt to be a thing?

 

Romantic:

Taejoon is baller’s life kook listen to urself! nothing compares to the bond of the tae to the joon! NOTHING!

 

Ahjussi ♡:

so we’re just lying out here now?

 

SUNRISE:

i guess so

 

Tae_Rex:

wht are they doing? im confused

 

FairyFloss:

arent we all

 

Kookie Dough:

in the history of the universe there has never been any two people more rightly matched than me and taehyung

 

Joons_Only:

joon and i are divinely matched

 

Romantic:

taejoon was written in the stars

 

Joons_Only:

wow the lack of love

 

SUNRISE:

i wonder if yoongi hyung and kookie will end up engaged in a real life brawl over this

 

Ahjussi ♡:

kookie if u persist w these lies i will send u to bed w/o any breakfast 

 

Kookie Dough:

but thats not fair! i speak nothing but truth but inferiors never wanna acknowledge

 

Romantic:

TAEJOON ON THE RISEEEEE

 

FairyFloss:

lets settle this now

taejin for life

 

SUNRISE:

taejin for life

 

Romantic:

(๑º ロ º๑)

 

Ahjussi ♡:

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

Kookie Dough:

๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐

 

Joons_Only:

fuck yea bitches

 


 

[We’re Not Small, We’re Proportionate]

 

Jimin:

hey hyung

 

Yoongi:

bye jimin

 

Jimin:

thts rude

 

Yoongi:

last time we texted u gave away my position to my enemies 

 

Jimin:

ur family

 

Yoongi:

i have denounced my past life

i shall go forward w a new name and a new family

 

Jimin:

ur so odd

where did u get this personality from? srsly

 

Yoongi:

my dad

five yrs ago my moms fam came for chuseok and drove my dad up the wall

he went into the kitchen and announced ‘Ha Rin, i never shouldve married you! i hate ur family’ then he left the kitchen went to the loving room and shouted ‘get out my fucking house u heathens!’ and went to his room for the next two days

i love my dad

 

Jimin:

are u being serious rn?

 

Yoongi:

yep

now wht u want jimin? 

 

Jimin:

uhh wanna go out?

 

Yoongi:

like outside?

 

Jimin:

generally thats what ‘go out’ means yes

 

Yoongi:

then fuck no

 

Jimin:

why not?

 

Yoongi:

its cold outside 

 

Jimin:

its fall!

 

Yoongi:

and im in the house

 

Jimin:

hyung pleeaaassee

 

Yoongi:

ugh wheres jk? why cnt he go w u?

 

Jimin:

he went out w friends and the last time i went w him i ended up chained @ the bottom of a fish tank 

dont ask

 

Yoongi:

what do u want to do?

 

Jimin:

window shop 

 

Yoongi:

every time we window shop i always end up buying smth

 

Jimin:

then dnt bring ur wallet

 

Yoongi:

now u just sound dumb

meet me at my house in ten minutes

 

Jimin:

cool!

 

 

[Happy Feet]

 

DancePrince:

yo hobi!

 

DanceKing:

wht?

 

DancePrince:

wanna go window shopping?

 

DanceKing:

every time we window shop i come home hella light in the pocket

 

DanceSlave:

dnt bring ur wallet then

 

DanceKing:

u sound stupid

 

DancePrince:

lol

just come on hyung it’ll be fun

 

DanceKing:

*sigh* wtvr sure i got nothing better to do anyways

 

DancePrince:

ψ(`∇´)ψ perfect

see u soon hyung

 

DanceKing:

ill come pick u up

 

DancePrince:

d(*⌒▽⌒*)b

Chapter Text

[Platonic Sex]

 

CallMeDaddy:

where u at jimin? im at the gates

 

BigDCentral:

why dnt u ever want to drive into campus? why we always gotta meet u at the gates?

 

CallMeDaddy:

i dnt trust all these unknown ppl around my car

 

BigDCentral:

ur crazy

im coming

 

CallMeDaddy:

whts taking u so long?

 

BigDCentral:

my legs can only cover a certain amount of distance each step

 

CallMeDaddy:

ugghhhhhhh hurry up jimin

 

BigDCentral:

im coming! 

 

CallMeDaddy:

we gotta goooo 

im pretty sure one of them stores got something i need

 

BigDCentral:

( ̄_ ̄|||) we are supposed to be window shopping

 

CallMeDaddy:

key word “shop” so

 

BigDCentral:

smh hyung 

open up bitch!

 

CallMeDaddy:

ay! dont knock on my window like tht boi! get ur ass up in here

 

BigDCentral:

just open the damn door

thank you

 

CallMeDaddy:

to the mall!

 

BigDCentral:

actually not yet

 

CallMeDaddy:

wht?

 

BigDCentral:

i left my wallet at taehyungs house yesterday and jin hyung called me abt it ths morning 

 

CallMeDaddy:

how tf u gonna go shopping without ur wallet?

 

BigDCentral:

WINDOW shopping

anyways, hyung said if i come to his place he’ll run it down to me so hurry up hobi hyung

 

CallMeDaddy:

so to hyungs place then?

 

BigDCentral:

yes

...should u be texting and driving?

 

CallMeDaddy:

im a great multitasker

 

BigDCentral:

put ur phone down

 

CallMeDaddy:

stay in ur lane jimin

 

BigDCentral:

im trying to help u stay in urs!

give me the fking phone!

 

CallMeDaddy:

NO

ASKKHDJDKSKS

 

BigDCentral:

so dumb

 

 


Pulling up in front of his hyung’s building, Hoseok turned and glared at his passenger. “Give me my phone,” Hoseok demanded, his hand outstretched. 

Jimin gave him a mysterious smile before unbuckling his seatbelt and hopping out the car. Jimin leaned down to look at the elder through the window, a smirk on his plump lips. “Hold that thought, Hyung. I’ll be right back.”

Hoseok watched the cheeky bastard skip towards the entrance and disappear into the building. Groaning in despair, Hoseok slumped lazily in his chair, already bored to tears without his phone. Hoseok would readily admit he was greatly addicted to his phone; hell, if he had to choose between breathing and texting, he would happily cease to inhale until he finally died (which would probably be only a minute later). Twiddling with his buddy bracelet (fuck Jungkook and his stupid ideas) absentmindedly, Hoseok stared out the window, waiting for Jimin to make a reappearance. 

The door opened and Hoseok sat up in his seat. He clicked the button to roll down the passenger window, ready to shout all types of obscenities at the younger, but froze in shock. Standing right beside Jimin was Yoongi. Yoongi, the most beautiful creature on this planet (well—third because Hoseok had met Taehyung and he had also been conditioned through food and wheel-spinning to love Jin-hyung’s face the most). Yoongi, his crush. Yoongi, the guy he kind of wanted to flip over and do dirty things to. What. The. Fuck. 

Thinking, hoping, that maybe Yoongi decided to just be a good hyung and walk Jimin to the car, Hoseok waited for Yoongi to send Jimin off with a wave or more likely the bird and reenter the building. Hoseok tensed further in shock when instead going back inside, Yoongi proceeded to follow Jimin to the car, a cute pout on his lips. Confused, Hoseok continued to watch the short pair walk towards his car. Jimin looked away from Yoongi and his eyes met Hoseok’s. Hoseok glared heatedly when Jimin’s sweet smile turned into a dark grin, mischief dancing his eyes. 

“Fucking devil,” Hoseok murmured to himself. Unlocking the doors, Hoseok waited impatiently for Jimin to get back in his seat so he could strangle him to death; Jimin must’ve known Hoseok’s intentions because he handed Hoseok’s phone to the elder before opening the backdoor and slipping in. Hoseok turned around to stare at the little demon. Jimin smiled happily, “Hey, Hyung. I forgot to tell you Yoongi-hyung was coming, too.”

“If you two assholes were planning on going together all along, I could’ve stayed in my bed,” Hoseok heard right beside his head. At the grumbled words, Hoseok stiffened and turned to come face-to-face with his crush. Up close, Hoseok could see the light dusting of red on the elder’s cheeks and nose from the wind, his mint hair tousled cutely on his head. What in the hell, was that a choker? “Hi, Hyung,” Hoseok squeaked out, flustered. 

He could hear Jimin quietly laughing in the backseat. Yeah, laugh it up, Chuckles. I’m kicking your ass tonight, Hoseok vindictively thought. Hoseok was distracted from his thoughts when Yoongi’s lips curved upwards into a gummy smile, “Hey, ‘Seok.”

A weird, congested noise escaped Hoseok’s throat at the nickname, his brain addled. Jimin wasn’t so quiet anymore. Yoongi shot a bemused smile at the Gwanju native, “Why are you honking?”

“He’s a goose,” Jimin unhelpfully supplied, mirth woven in his voice. “Honk, Hobi. Honk!”

Hoseok glared at his friend, “It’s ‘Hobi-hyung’ you little bastard. And I wasn’t honking.”

“You so were,” Jimin laughed. Hoseok was ready to say goodbye to freedom and choke his ass out right there but then he heard Yoongi’s sweet laughter in his ear and he decided Jimin could live another day. No, another hour because he was dying today. 

“Whatever. Before we go anywhere, Yoongi-hyung, my phone,” Hoseok said. He held out his hand and his heart skipped a beat when Yoongi’s thin fingers brushed against his when handing him his phone. Dropping it, Hoseok scrambled to catch it because he didn’t want his phone screen to match Namjoon’s. Yoongi easily caught it and deftly slipped it into the cup holder by his thigh. He smiled up at Hoseok, “For safe keeping.”

“...Right. Off we go,” Hoseok mumbled nervously, his fingers trembling slightly when he turned the key. Starting the car, Hoseok easily left the fore of the building and pulled onto the street. The car descended into a semi-comfortable silence as Hoseok drove to the mall. He had no idea what Jimin was thinking but Hoseok was nervous. While it was part of the long-term plan to spend more time with Yoongi in an effort to increase ease between them and maybe cause feelings on Yoongi’s part, Hoseok could count on one hand the amount of times they actually hung out together. Alone. Getting his car fixed, going to the movies, going to the zoo, going bowling, the eighteen face-times that Hoseok felt didn’t count separately because each were only five to ten minutes long. 

Honestly, Hoseok was completely in love with Yoongi. Hoseok couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment it hit him that his love for Yoongi was no longer platonic and it definitely went past just romantic into sexual, but that was how he felt. All Hoseok knew was that Yoongi gave his heart away and it was returned in pieces. It was returned in a pile of dust and none of them knew how to make it better, so Hoseok sent him cute little texts and made him his favorite meals. Hoseok turned in his assignments when he was too emotionally drained to leave his bed, did his assignments when he couldn’t be bothered. Hoseok practically lived on Jin-hyung’s couch during the entire ‘Yoongi hates everyone and himself’ stage because for some reason, he was the only person Yoongi ever wanted to see. During that time, Hoseok lived and breathed Min Yoongi and when it was over and everything went back to normal, Hoseok was left changed. He was in love with a person who no longer wanted to find out what that was. Fast forward about a year and a half later and he was still hopelessly in love. Ain’t life a bitch. 

“So, we should all go out on Wednesday,” Jimin commented from the backseat, deftly typing on his phone to who knows. Yoongi hummed opposingly, “I see you people enough as it is.”

Hoseok bit his lip to hold back his smile at the typical response from their resident hermit. Jimin whined in the back, “But Hyung, we don’t see enough of you. Besides, there’s no school so we can make a whole day of it.”

“Like what?” Hoseok distractedly asked, putting on his left turn signal before switching lanes. He heard Jimin shifting in his seat. Then, he heard, “Hmmm, it has to be something Jungkook will enjoy or he’ll just whine like the bitch he is and it has to be something Taehyung likes to do,” Jimin brainstormed. 

Yoongi huffed in his seat, “I’m not going bowling; I don’t care how much Bunny Boy cries. He already uses everything in my damn room, I will not subject myself to more pain and suffering on his behalf.”

“You gave the boy a bar of medicated soap for Chuseok,” Hoseok snorted. He stopped at a red light and turned to look at Yoongi, “You could spare a few hours losing horribly at bowling.”

“And Taehyung has never been bowling!” Jimin reminded, putting his face in between the seats. Hoseok refrained from elbowing him in his ugly face (he was so handsome it just wasn’t fair). “Plus, I’ve been practicing on the low so I have it on good authority we can beat Jungkook this time. I can’t wait for him to pass out when I toss a strike on his ass.”

At Jimin’s evil cackle, Hoseok sighed. “And that boy calls you his best friend. It’s a damn shame.”

Affronted, Jimin let out a weird battle cry before grabbing Hoseok in a chokehold. Surprised at the sudden attack, Hoseok’s foot hit the gas pedal and the car lurched forward into traffic. Hoseok screamed and covered his face, “Not my car! Not my face! Not my car!”

“Hoseok, grab the WHEEL!” Yoongi snapped fearfully, hurriedly reaching over to roughly pull the steering wheel and the car barely missed hitting a truck. Jimin yelped and fell harshly into the backseat, banging his elbow on the window. Yoongi yanked the wheel again towards an empty parking lot. Jimin jumped forward and shook Hoseok’s shoulders, “The emergency brakes! Pull it! PULL IT!”

Pulling the emergency brakes, the car came to an abrupt halt in the middle of the lot. The three friends slumped in relief in their seats, hearts pounding in their chests. Gradually, the haze of panic receded from Hoseok’s mind and he began to calm down. Slowly, Hoseok turned and looked out his window, noticing dark skid marks on the asphalt. Remembering his basically nonexistent bank account, Hoseok bemoaned, “I hope my tires aren’t ruined.”

At an indignant noise to his right, Hoseok turned and was faced with two glaring pairs of eyes looking at him. What the hell was their problem? He frowned in confusion, “What?” 

Chapter Text

“I still don’t understand why I couldn’t drive us here,” Hoseok griped from the passenger seat, watching as Yoongi drove past all the occupied spaces in the mall’s parking lot. 

“Hmm,” Jimin started sarcastically in the backseat, the fucking turd. His head popped up in between the seats. “Maybe it had something to do with you almost sending us to the afterlife not even ten minutes ago?”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have tried to kill me while I was driving?” Hoseok snapped back, glaring at his dongsaeng. He couldn’t believe he had been delegated as a passenger in his own car. Over something that wasn’t even his fault. In fact, it was the little devil-who-must-not-be-named in the backseat of his car’s fault. He wondered if Dean and Sam Winchester took commissions. 

“You know they’re not real people, right?” Yoongi asked from the driver’s seat, calmly pulling into a vacant parking space. Hoseok jumped and looked at him, “I said that aloud?”

“Yep,” Jimin happily said. Hoseok made a face at him. The car came to a stop and Yoongi shut it off, pulling out the keys. Yoongi turned to look at the young pair of dancers, “Get out.”

Grumbling under his breath, Hoseok threw open his door and hopped out, immediately assaulted by the frigid air of late September. It was fucking cold. “Why’d you park so far away from the entrance, Hyung?” Jimin whined, staring at the large distance between them and the mall. While Hoseok wanted to run Jimin over with his car, he could admit he thought the exact same thing. 

Yoongi rolled his eyes at the youngest’s complaint, “There is nowhere else to park, you idiot. And why are you complaining? You are the one who wanted to go shopping anyways.”

Window shopping, alright?” Jimin frustratedly reiterated. “I wanted to go window shopping.”

“You can buy all the windows you want,” Hoseok replied easily. He brought his wallet and dammit, he was going to use it. “Hey, do you think any of these stores sell bubble wrap?”

 


 

 

For someone who didn’t want to come, he sure as hell is buying a lot, Hoseok thought glumly as he watched Yoongi and Jimin try on different clothes. Hoseok sat on a bench near the dressing rooms, waiting impatiently for his two friends. Hoseok had thought it was Jimin’s grand plan to orchestrate a date between him and Yoongi but clearly he was wrong. Jimin probably only asked Hoseok along to help carry the bags. And there were so many bags. 

Exiting his changing room, Jimin strutted over to Hoseok wearing an outfit that Hoseok could begrudgingly admit looked good on him. Jimin smirked at his hyung, “Why the sour face, Hyung?”

Hoseok glared at him. He shot a cautious look at Yoongi’s stall before leaning closer to the younger. “Why the fuck did you invite me to the mall with you and Yoongi-hyung?” He whispered harshly. 

Jimin plopped on Hoseok’s lap with a fake pout on his lips. “You don’t like seeing Yoongi-hyung trying on different clothes?”

“Jimin,” Hoseok deadpanned. Jimin’s expression faltered when he saw how serious his hyung was. “I’m being serious. What are you doing?”

Jimin sighed, “Hyung, it’s been weeks since you admitted to me and Jungkook that you wanted Yoongi-hyung to be the Bert to your Ernie.”

“So?” Hoseok asked defensively. 

“So,” Jimin repeated mockingly. “What have you really done to get into those jeans?”

Hoseok scoffed in disbelief, “And your solution to that is having me third-wheel a yoonmin shopping trip? The only thing I’ve done the past hour is go from one chair in one store to another while you two giggled and took selfies and played dress-up. Without me. Good plan.”

Jimin frowned, staring at the floor unhappily. It was true that his plan hadn’t exactly gone the way he thought it would, but every time he tried to covertly make his escape, Yoongi would grab his hand and drag him into this store or that store. And good friend or not, Jimin wasn’t walking away from any good sale. “Sorry, Hyung,” Jimin finally said. “I just wanted to help make you happy.”

Great, Hoseok thought. Now I feel guilty. It wasn’t Jimin’s fault the day had turned to shit—well, it wasn’t all Jimin’s fault because no matter what anyone said, the car incident was entirely that idiot’s fault. Hoseok wrapped his arms around Jimin and proceeded to hug the life out of him. “Thank you my sweet little dongsaeng,” Hoseok said cutely in a high-pitched voice, placing slobbery kisses all over the younger’s face. “Look at my favorite dancer. So sweet. So caring. Mwah. Mwah.”

Jimin whined jokingly, “Get off me, Fiend! And I’m telling Jungkook what you said!” Hoseok laughed, releasing his prisoner. Jimin scrambled to his feet, wiping his face with an exaggerated expression of disgust. “Tell him,” Hoseok declared, unbothered at the threat. “He knows his place in my heart. Which is nowhere.”

Before Jimin could respond to Hoseok’s joke, the lock on Yoongi’s door clicked and the elder walked out. Hoseok felt his heart stop at the sight of his hyung; Hoseok found his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. To Hoseok, red-rimmed eyes and snotty nose was a beautiful Yoongi. Barely awake and line impressions on half his face was a beautiful Yoongi. But this? God, he was mesmerizing. Yoongi was wearing  black, ripped jeans and a pure white turtleneck sweater, its sleeves stopping just above his knuckles. On his head rested a black wide-brim fedora hat and what the fuck he was wearing black suspenders. 

“Well, how do I look?” Yoongi asked uneasily, shifting nervously in his spot. At the continued silence from the two shell-shocked dancers, he grew more and more uncomfortable. “I look stupid, don’t I? Let me just change and—“

“NO!” Hoseok blurted out hastily. When Yoongi jumped and looked at him, Hoseok smiled sheepishly. “I-I mean, you look really good. The style suits you.”

“Don’t say that just because,” Yoongi complained. “If it looks ugly, I’d rather just be told that.”

Hoseok frantically shook his head, “I’m not! I’m not just saying it. I seriously mean it, Hyung. You look like a wet dream.”

Jimin let out a strangled noise, staring at Hoseok like he was insane. Hoseok’s eyes widened as he realized what he just said. “No! I don’t mean a wet dream. Well, I do b-but not, like, mine. Just in general. Not that you’re not my type, which you are. I mean, n-not my type but you are sexy. NOT sexy as in I’m objectifying you, un-unless you’re into that type of thing. NOT that it matters but I-I would totally be down for that. I JUST MEAN th-that it’s not weird o-or anything...” Hoseok rambled rapidly, growing increasingly more embarrassed with each word coming out of his mouth. 

At the deep blush that appeared on Yoongi’s cheeks, Hoseok forced himself to stop talking. Jimin was looking at him like he had four heads, sixteen nipples, and an extra dick (which is pretty fair because what the hell was he saying). ABORT. ABORT. Getting ready to apologize, Hoseok opened his mouth only to snap it shut when he felt a pair of pillow-soft lips touch his cheek. As quickly as the sensation came, it disappeared. Hoseok stared in awe at his crush who was smiling down softly at him, “Thanks, ‘Seok.”

Hoseok croaked (like an actual frog) and nodded, his eyes comically enlarged. Yoongi returned to his room in order to change clothes, Hoseok’s eyes following his every move. At the click of the door, Jimin and Hoseok stood in silence. Hoseok slowly raised a hand to touch his right cheek, the imprint of Yoongi’s lips seared into his skin. “Jimin?” Hoseok murmured wonderstruck. 

“Yes, Hyung?”

“If you ever need an organ, hit me up,” Hoseok stated firmly, still tracing his cheek. 

Jimin chuckled amusedly, “You betcha.”

Chapter Text

[Happy Feet]

 

DanceSlave:

hyung

 

DancePrince:

yes?

 

DanceKing:

boi pls when has he ever given u any respect?

yea kookie?

 

DanceSlave:

can u and yoongi hyung adopt me and let me be ur love child

 

DanceKing:

what?!

 

DancePrince:

(*´艸`*)

 

DanceSlave:

jimin told me abt yesterday

 

DancePrince:

‘just in general’ hyung

 

DanceKing:

???

how does tht translate to adoption?

 

DanceSlave:

jin hyung said if i skipped school 2day he’d beat me black and blue

u and yoongi hyung wouldnt treat me like this

 

DancePrince:

they wouldnt... ‘unless you’re into that type of thing’

 

DanceKing:

i would beat u jungkook

u do know u pay to go here right?

 

DanceSlave:

u pay to go to school?!

 

DancePrince:

duh idiot uve been paying since u left junior high 

 

DanceSlave:

i paid for high school!? I PAID FOR TORTURE?!

 

DanceKing:

actually ur parents paid and it was a misguided attempt to somehow increase ur brain capacity

clearly they failed

 

DanceSlave:

so i could drop out rn?

 

DancePrince:

‘I would totally be down for tht’

 

DanceKing:

omf JIMIN! STOP QUOTING ME! 

 

DancePrince:

(¬‿¬)

 

DanceSlave:

soooo

dropping out?

 


 

 

[Together Forever]

 

Tae_Rex:

in the 1600s, tulips were so popular in holland

they became so expensive that they were used as money

 

Romantic:

really? hmm interesting...

 

SUNRISE:

dear god i could see it now

stacks of flower books on every surface of our apartment 

 

Romantic:

the study of flowers is called floriculture in its most specific sense and botany in a general sense

 

Tae_Rex:

i have lots of books on flowers if u want to borrow them hyung

 

Romantic:

perfect!

 

Joons_Only:

i cant believe my future husband is such a nerd

 

Ahjussi ♡:

i can

 

SUNRISE:

cimcf

 

FairyFloss:

while everyone is gathered in one place (virtually) i have smth to say

 

Joons_Only:

theres no kookie

 

FairyFloss:

and?

anyways, since there’s no school on wednesday, yoongi and hoseok hyungs and i decided we’re having an OT7 chill day

 

Ahjussi ♡:

this was not decided by me

 

FairyFloss:

oh hush hyung

 

Tae_Rex:

rlly? what r we gonna do?

 

Kookie Dough:

hey anybody kno my resident registration number?

 

Joons_Only:

*sigh*

 

SUNRISE:

we’re taking u bowling tae!!!!

 

Kookie Dough:

bowling? who? wht? where?

 

Romantic:

we’re all going out on wednesday

 

Kookie Dough:

we have school wednesday

 

Ahjussi ♡:

national foundation day

 

Kookie Dough:

oh cool

we cant all possibly be driving in the same car?

 

SUNRISE:

why not?

 

Joons_Only:

shit hes right

ur car fits five ppl

 

Romantic:

let’s do it big on wednesday 

lets rent a van and do a day trip

 

Tae_Rex:

a day trip?

 

Romantic:

yep

we’ll make a list of things to do and then travel around and do them

it’ll be fun

 

SUNRISE:

does sound fun

 

Ahjussi ♡:

sounds like a lot of effort

 

Tae_Rex:

(☆^O^☆) it sounds cool joonie hyung! 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

lets do a day trip guys

 

Romantic:

whipped culture 

 

Joons_Only:

alrighty we will convene tmr and make a to do list and yoongi and i will rent a car

 

Romantic:

hobi and i can rent one now

 

SUNRISE:

uh nooo we cant

 

Romantic:

and why not?

 

SUNRISE:

various reasons

first, the lady who works @ the place in our area hates me remember?

 

FairyFloss:

u said her son was too ugly for u

 

Joons_Only:

which was the truth

nobody but an 8+ is getting into this group

 

Ahjussi ♡:

how ur bf get in then?

 

Kookie Dough:

BURN

 

Romantic:

i h8 u ppl

 

SUNRISE:

second, im banned from renting from them after jk totaled that car i had under my name 

 

Kookie Dough:

i momentarily forgot my right from my left 

my bad

 

Romantic:

then ill just get it

 

SUNRISE:

which brings us to reason #3

u cnt rent a car w/o a drivers license

 

Joons_Only:

joon has a drivers license 

 

SUNRISE:

in wht universe does tht boi have a drivers license?

 

Joons_Only:

how did he rent a u-haul without a license?

 

Tae_Rex:

i rented the u haul hyung

joonie hyung kept making the care packages 

 

Ahjussi ♡:

he has to have a license if hed been driving around in hoseoks car

 

Romantic:

actually...

 

Kookie Dough:

*gasp*

 

FairyFloss:

ooooooh he in troubleeeeee

 

Joons_Only:

UR ASS BEEN DRIVING AROUND WITHOUT A LICENSE?!

 

Romantic:

ummmm

 

Joons_Only:

HOBI WHY WOULD U LET HIM DRIVE UR CAR W/O A LICENSE

 

SUNRISE:

my car wasn’t staying at a train station parking lot

besides it was fine

who needs a license anyways? 

 

Joons_Only:

...

 

FairyFloss:

‘here lies the body of jung hoseok who died from sheer stupidity may he rip’

 

Kookie Dough:

‘here lies the body of kim namjoon who died from strangulation may he rip’

 

FairyFloss:

(◞‸◟;) i still remember them like it was just yesterday 

 

Kookie Dough:

their lives cut short so young (T_T)

 

Ahjussi ♡:

idiots

 

Joons_Only:

ive pulled out the wheel

 

SUNRISE:

NO

 

Romantic:

babe pls

 

Joons_Only:

no

u dummies endangered ppl’s lives (esp mine and taehyungs) 

hobi u first

 

SUNRISE:

why i always gotta go first? DAMN

 

Joons_Only:

bc secretly i hate u

 

FairyFloss:

not a secret hyung

 

SUNRISE:

screw u jimin

 

Joons_Only:

drink a glass of siracha lemonade

 

SUNRISE:

( 〇□〇)

 

Joons_Only:

namjoon its ur turn

 

Romantic:

pass pass pass pass!

 

Kookie Dough:

unlikely dude

 

Romantic:

ur ass gets it every time

 

Kookie Dough:

im a lucky guy

 

SUNRISE:

bullshit

 

Joons_Only:

kiss a snake on its head

 

FairyFloss:

damn

 

Romantic:

again?! fking jungKOOK!!

 

Kookie Dough:

(~ ̄³ ̄)~

now...my registration number?

 

FairyFloss:

( ̄ω ̄)

Chapter Text

[The Defenders]

 

Joons_Future:

kim namjoon and jung hoseok

i expect to see u both at the science building in one hour

 

Namor:

what? why?

 

Joons_Future:

ur punishments will be carried out there

 

The Silver Surfer:

oh hell yea

ima hop on my board and meet yall there

 

Dr. Strange:

why?

 

The Silver Surfer:

bc itll be hilarious

 

Jins_Future:

one day ull land on smth other than pass and ill laugh my balls off

 

The Hulk:

savage

 

Namor:

i cant carry out my punishment @ the science building

 

Joons_Future:

yes u can bc i will be bringing ur drink

extra siracha extra lemon juice no water and hold the sugar

 

Namor:

thts not lemonade!

 

Joons_Future:

and this is not for ur pleasure

 

The Silver Surfer:

∠( ᐛ 」∠)_

 

The Hulk:

so is an audience allowed?

i wanna capture hyungs face turning from pale to red to purple after drinking the lemonade 

 

Namor:

fuck u jimin

 

The Hulk:

am i rlly the one u want to do tht to?

≖‿≖ hmm?

 

The Silver Surfer:

≖‿≖ hmm?

 

Joons_Future:

???

 

Namor:

nothing!

 

Joons_Future:

wtvr

yes audience is allowed

hell its even welcomed

 

Jins_Future:

i didnt think ud be so cruel when i first saw u

 

Dr. Strange:

i was there when u first saw him

u were too busy checking out his ass to see the devil horns

 

Jins_Future:

its a great ass wht can i say?

 

Joons_Future:

∩(︶▽︶)∩ everything abt me is gr8

 

The Hulk:

those confidence levels tho

 

Namor:

id shoot hyung a compliment but in an hours time hes gonna set my intestines on fire so

 

The Silver Surfer:

(•‾̑⌣‾̑•) oh i cnt wait

 

Namor:

i hate u jeon jungkook

 

The Silver Surfer:

who cares?

 

Jins_Future:

can i kiss a regular snake now?

 

Dr. Strange:

wht could tht possibly teach u?

nonono the viper it is

 

Jins_Future:

srsly?!

 

The Hulk:

ooh ooh ooh

maybe we can just put a boa constrictor around hyungs neck!

 

The Silver Surfer:

OH FCK YEA

 

Jins_Future:

ヽ ( ꒪д꒪ )ノ

 

Dr. Strange:

hmm tht does sound appealing

hyung?

 

Joons_Future:

...tht does sound appealing 

 

Jins_Future:

nonononono NO!

the wheel said i had to KISS a snake

#1 rule of the wheel is no switching punishments or takebacks

 

The Hulk:

*sad, forlorn sigh* hes right

that is the number one rule

 

The Silver Surfer:

dammit

 

Namor:

i was looking forward to seeing joons death tbh

 

Jins_Future:

(இ௦இ)꒳ᵒ꒳ᵎᵎᵎ

 

Joons_Future:

smh me too

 

Jins_Future:

...(T⌓T)

 


 

 

Joons_Only has renamed the chat Happy Travels!!!

 

Joons_Only:

ok! first things first

we need day trip names

 

Kookie Dough:

wht?

 

Joons_Only:

we need new names for traveling purposes

 

Tae_Rex:

like code names?

 

Joons_Only:

yep

 

Tae_Rex:

ooh ooh

can i be ‘Captain TaeTae’?

 

Ahjussi ♡:

if u want

 

Tae_Rex:

(≧▽≦) yaayy!!

 

Tae_Rex has changed their name to Captain TaeTae

 

Captain TaeTae:

“The sincere friends of this world are as ship lights in the stormiest of nights.”

giotto di bondone

 

SUNRISE:

id coo out loud but i cant feel my throat

 

Romantic:

i almost got bit by a poisonous snake so

 

Joons_Only:

stop bitching

me next

 

Joons_Only has changed their name to Baddest Bitch

 

Ahjussi ♡:

theres a certain innocent in this chat hyung

 

Kookie Dough:

oh im cool hyung

 

SUNRISE:

not u fucktard

 

Kookie Dough:

im offended

 

Baddest Bitch:

u right

 

Baddest Bitch has changed their name to Worldwide_Handsome

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

bc where is the lie?

 

Captain TaeTae:

welcome aboard matey! (≧▽≦)ゝ

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

ty captain!

 

Captain TaeTae:

(✿◠‿◠)

 

Ahjussi ♡:

is the name change a requirement?

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

do i hide a dagger behind our microwave?

 

Romantic:

i hope tht means no

 

Ahjussi ♡ has changed their name to Fierce Beast

 

FairyFloss:

...does this mean jinnie hyung has a knife behind his microwave?

 

SUNRISE:

(◎-◎;)

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

dnt test me and we wont have to find out

 

Romantic:

(●__●)

 

Captain TaeTae:

kittens arent fierce beasts

 

Fierce Beast:

???

 

Captain TaeTae:

i think u look like a sweet kitty hyung

and kitties arent v fierce 

 

Worldwide_Handsome has changed Fierce Beast’s name to Lil MeowMeow

 

SUNRISE:

...windows shut down

 

Kookie Dough:

this is actually fitting tbh

 

Captain TaeTae:

its so cute!!!

 

Lil MeowMeow:

₍ᵔ·͈༝·͈ᵔ₎ ‘meow’

 

Romantic:

whipped culture

 

Lil MeowMeow:

im not ashamed

 

SUNRISE:

alright me next losers

 

SUNRISE has changed their name to Frederick Benjamin the 35th

 

FairyFloss:

...

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

or f.benny for short

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

i kinda wanna stab u rn hoseok not gonna lie

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

f.benny hyung

u must have short term memory loss or smth

 

Kookie Dough:

is tht contagious? bc i live in his house

 

Lil MeowMeow:

...

 

FairyFloss:

(-‸ლ)

 

FairyFloss has changed their name to MinnieThePooh

 

MinnieThePooh:

only uncultured swine wouldnt get this 

 

Kookie Dough:

im confused

 

Captain TaeTae:

i love winnie the pooh!

‘Oh, brother!’

 

Romantic:

my heart

 

Captain TaeTae:

(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” 

winnie the pooh was my childhood hero no lie

 

Kookie Dough:

oh! hes the yellow bear who eats honey right?

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

finally! some culture!

 

Kookie Dough:

i used to quote him all the time to my mom

‘i wasnt going to eat it. i was just going to taste it.’

 

MinnieThePooh:

aand ofc it has to do w/ food

 

Kookie Dough:

food is the only reason i wake up in the morning boi wdym 

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

forget it

jk choose ur travel name

 

Kookie Dough:

i like my name as it is tho

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

do u want dinner tonight?

 

Kookie Dough has changed their name to Justin Seagull

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

coward

 

Justin Seagull:

dinner saved by the white man

 

MinnieThePooh:

???

 

Justin Seagull:

i saw it on twitter once

 

Lil MeowMeow:

smh

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

namjoon put me out of my misery and choose a name

 

Romantic:

any name?

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

i honestly dnt care anymore 

 

Romantic:

a-ok!

 

Romantic has changed their name to Pornesian_Parapio

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

i-

...

 

Justin Seagull:

i think u broke him hyung

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

how? he said any name

 

MinnieThePooh:

there are few intelligent ppl on this chat

hobi hyung joon hyung and jk arent any of them

 

Justin Seagull:

what did i do?

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

i am outraged at these lies

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

yoongi and i are gonna go get the car

everybody come over my house w/ ur pjs and tmrs outfit bc we’re heading out early

ill see u idiots (except a few) soon

 

Justin Seagull:

what if we’re home b4 u?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

start writing down activities

 

Captain TaeTae:

ok! bye bye hyungs!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

bye angel

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

bye babe

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

kim namjoon BLOCKED

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

(꒪⌓꒪)

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

( ՞ਊ՞)

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

i gets no love from u ppl

 

Captain TaeTae:

i love u hyung ヽ(♡‿♡)ノ

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

my life finally has meaning 

Chapter Text

[Happy Travels!!!]

 

MinnieThePooh:

im gonna call it rn

i got dibs on taetae

 

Justin Seagull:

me too!

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

WHAT! UH-UH! 

I WANNA SIT W TAETAE!

 

Justin Seagull:

u snooze u lose bitch

 

Captain TaeTae:

(*/∇\*) 

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

i suggest we put it to a higher power

seokjin hyung?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

he said ‘wht?’

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

hes driving

‘what?’

 

MinnieThePooh:

whos sitting with who in the van?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

wtf

‘wtf u texted me for this?’

pretty sure he regrets meeting yall

 

Justin Seagull:

ok and? the verdict?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

‘we’re going by age like always: maknaes in the back, 94z in the middle, the best in the front’

 

Justin Seagull:

ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪♬

 

MinnieThePooh:

✽-(ˆ▽ˆ)/✽ ✽\(ˆ▽ˆ)-✽

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

(┳◇┳)

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

(ノ`Д´)ノ~┻━┻

 

MinnieThePooh:

suck it losers!

 

Justin Seagull:

#TaeMinKook♡

 

MinnieThePooh:

#TaeMinKook♡

taetae hastag w us

 

Captain TaeTae:

ok

#TaeMinKook♡

but i love all u guys

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

out of that hastag i only love the ‘tae’

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

same

 

Captain TaeTae:

(◡‿◡✿)

 

Lil MeowMeow:

‘whos at my place yet?’

boi its OUR place

 

Justin Seagull:

cimcf

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

( ̄ー ̄)b

 

Captain TaeTae:

im here ahjussi! i came w/ hobi hyung and joonie hyung

 

Justin Seagull:

wait

u drove past the school and got tae but u didnt think to stop to get me and jimin?

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

nope

 

MinnieThePooh:

( ̄ー ̄)

jk and i are coming but we had to WALK

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

(‾-ƪ‾) do u hear something hobi?

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

乁⁞ ◑ ͜ر ◑ ⁞ㄏ no i dnt think so

 

Lil MeowMeow:

‘alright cool yoongi and i will pick up some italian takeout for dinner’

 

Justin Seagull:

get extra breadsticks!!! EXTRA!!!!

 

Lil MeowMeow:

u always eats all the damn breadsticks!! there r more ppl eating the food than u jungkook!

 

Justin Seagull:

THATS WHY I SAID E X T R A

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

lmfao

get panini too

 

Justin Seagull:

a meatball sub!

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

and some spaghetti and a big ass salad

and buy some wine @ the store

 

Lil MeowMeow:

we got wine in the house

‘ill just buy it all fat asses’

 

MinnieThePooh:

im offended

i didnt ask for shit

 

Justin Seagull:

so ur ass wasnt the one nudging me saying ‘a sub! a sub! a meatball sub!’?

 

MinnieThePooh:

...fck u jungkook

 


 

 

MinnieThePooh:

do u want some more spaghetti taetae?

 

Captain TaeTae:

( ⋂‿⋂’)  yes please minnie

 

MinnieThePooh:

cool

move bitch! stop hogging the spaghetti 

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

how am i hogging the spaghetti? i took not even a scoop out the damn container

 

MinnieThePooh:

give me the fking container or itll be the end of u

 

Justin Seagull:

n u just gonna give it to him!? COWARD!!

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

shut up and eat ur lasagna 

 

Justin Seagull:

tht i can do

jinnie hyung u should make this sometime

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

if u think ima spend all my days trying out endless recipes to feed u boi u got another thing coming

 

Lil MeowMeow:

i got u jk

just print out a recipe and place it in the microwave or smth

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

wht?

 

Justin Seagull:

legit

 

Captain TaeTae:

(๑>◡<๑)

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

wtvr joon pass me the salad

carefully!

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

i cnt enjoy my panini in peace can i?

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

nope SO

activities!

have yall decided what yall wanna do tmr?

 

Captain TaeTae:

watch the sunrise @ the beach

 

Lil MeowMeow:

...tht requires leaving here at an unholy hour

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

tae wants to go hyung

 

Captain TaeTae:

໒( •́ ‸ •̀ )७ we dnt have to go ahjussi

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

u monster!

 

Lil MeowMeow:

ofc we’re going tae! who doesn’t wanna see a nice rising of the sun?

 

Justin Seagull:

mmhmm

we’re also going bowling

thats it from my end

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

ofc

anything else?

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

tae and i wanna go to the national museum

 

Justin Seagull:

of korea?

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

no of France

duh of korea boi

 

Justin Seagull:

wow the disrespect 

all i wanted was a lil bit of clarification 

 

MinnieThePooh:

ay ay ay theres a food festival just outside seoul

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

we can find food on any street w/o driving two hrs

 

MinnieThePooh:

yeah but its an international food festival and from the website it looks like its free of charge

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

free of charge? 

 

Justin Seagull:

u had me @ food festival 

 

Captain TaeTae:

ahjussi maybe we could find monkey bread muffins there

 

Lil MeowMeow:

we’ll scour tht festival until we find some for sure

 

Captain TaeTae:

\(^▽^)/

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

hand me the risotto

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

here ya go buddy

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

jeon jungkook

if u eat another breadstick i will beat u

 

Justin Seagull:

but this is only my sixth one!

 

Lil MeowMeow:

WTF DID I TELL U ABT THOSE DAMN BREADSTICKS

 

Justin Seagull:

U GOT EXTRA FOR A REASON!

 

MinnieThePooh:

taetae wanna share the meatball sub?

 

Captain TaeTae:

oh i love meatballs!

 

Justin Seagull:

yo jimin! wht abt me?

 

MinnieThePooh:

ur eating everything else so no

 

Justin Seagull:

hobi and joon hyungs ate the panini by themselves

 

Lil MeowMeow:

u fools ate all the panini?

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

the number you have dialed is not in service

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

suddenly im blind

 

Lil MeowMeow:

HyuNG!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

let me sip my wine in peace

 

MinnieThePooh:

yea pour me some more

tae u want some more banana milk?

 

Captain TaeTae:

yes pls

 

Justin Seagull:

me too

this wine is fking w my tastebuds

 

MinnieThePooh:

get urs urself boi i aint no damn maid

 

Justin Seagull:

...w o w

pass me the breadsticks

 

Lil MeowMeow:

HELL NO!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

ok so were going to the beach to watch the sunrise & bowling & the museum & food festival

what else?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

lets go to an arcade

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

min yoongi? suggest an activity?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

if we’re doing it we should go all out

lets go to an aquarium too

 

Captain TaeTae:

(゜))<< 

 

MinnieThePooh:

ooh yes! i wanna see nemo!

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

u mean clownfish

nemo was a clownfish 

 

MinnieThePooh:

ur a clownfish now hush

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

GANGSTA!!!

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

wtvr

we should rent bikes and ride alongside han river

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

oh what a nice idea

 

Lil MeowMeow:

what a waste of money

im not spending money to exercise

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

which is why ur so damn lazy 

 

Lil MeowMeow:

ur really abt to rent a bike just to get ur shoelaces stuck in the pedals and fly into the river?

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

ok tht happened one time!

 

Lil MeowMeow:

i rest my case

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

wht do u think tae?

 

Captain TaeTae:

(๑•͈ᴗ•͈) it sounds like fun hyung 

 

Lil MeowMeow:

so are we biking b4 or after the food festival?

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

(¬‿¬)

Chapter Text

Lil MeowMeow:

is anybody awake?

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

why?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

theres somebody in the kitchen

i wanna make sure its not one of our own b4 i pull out the nunchucks 

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

thts not possible

 

Lil MeowMeow:

???

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

ur nunchucks are under the couch

 

Lil MeowMeow:

no u packed all my weapons remember

i never unpacked

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

first: its been like a week so theres no excuse for u not to have unpacked

second: i unpacked all ur stuff the other day

 

Lil MeowMeow:

WHT

why did u do tht?

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

it was washing day n ur clothes were growing mold u piece of filth! 

 

Lil MeowMeow:

now wht are we gonna do!? 

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

ur knife is under the bed

 

Lil MeowMeow:

its too dull

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

how tf is it dull? i sharpened before i packed it up for u

 

Lil MeowMeow:

i used it to cut up some of my cousins clothes and i kept throwing it @ my wall in an effort to not aim @ yesungs head

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

...

u need help

 

Lil MeowMeow:

yea well ill never get tht bc we’re gonna die

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

get ur gasoline out the closet

 

Lil MeowMeow:

it needs a refill

dnt ask

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

( ་ ⍸ ་ )

 

Lil MeowMeow:

what abt tht poisoned dagger u hid?

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

i hid it in the kitchen asshole

 

Lil MeowMeow:

shit

oh wait! wheres the machete?

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

wht machete?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

ur ‘sam and dean’ machete

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

oh

jungkook has it

 

Lil MeowMeow:

u gave it to the maknae?

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

yeppers 

 

Lil MeowMeow:

in the living room?

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

yea

he said he wanted to be able to kill any werewolf who came to get him at night 

apparently his heart would be a hot commodity (what lies)

 

Lil MeowMeow:

...he might need to stop watching supernatural w/ u

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

┐(´∀`)┌ ehhh

i think hes fine

 

Lil MeowMeow:

what about the twin swords we bought two summers ago?

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

...you know i have no idea

wht the hell DID happen to those?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

u dnt know!?

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

nope

we should find out tho bc those cost a hefty penny 

 

Lil MeowMeow:

we can just buy more

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

if i dnt find them by next week we can

 

Lil MeowMeow:

oh wait! i have my brass knuckles!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

and if the intruder has a knife?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

i might get stabbed but they still getting beat to death

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

yea but taes in the living room

 

Lil MeowMeow:

oh shit u right

i shouldve put him in my room

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

he wanted to sleep w/ the other maknaes

 

Lil MeowMeow:

dnt know why

we need a quiet method of murder

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

ooh ooh! we have a bottle of chloroform in the bathroom

we can use tht then throw the person out the window!

 

Lil MeowMeow:

this plan does have its merits 

oh but how will we fool the police into thinking it was self defense?

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

i can shake my ass?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

ok but if the officer is female?

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

then ill offer her a night on the jin train

 

Lil MeowMeow:

thts cheating

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

its not cheating if itll keep me out of jail

 

Lil MeowMeow:

mmm i dnt think thts true

joon might end up in jail after he chokes her ass out

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

...fine

any more bright ideas?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

hmmm

i knew we should’ve smuggled in a gun from china

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

nonono i said tht but u said ur fingers were too tiny and u preferred the knives

 

Lil MeowMeow:

well tht still applies

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

ill be sure to have tht put on ur tombstone 

 

Lil MeowMeow:

i got it! we still have tht axe in the hallway closet

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

oh shit u right!

 

Lil MeowMeow:

im bout to kill a bitch

.

.

.

surprise bitch!

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

WTF R U DOING?!!!!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

wht was tht scream? 

oh shit im coming

 

Justin Seagull:

tf was tht noise?

hyung, why do u have an axe to hobi hyungs throat?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

i thought there was an intruder 

 

MinnieThePooh:

and ur solution was to take his head off?!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

all our other weapons were inaccessible 

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

u couldve killed me!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

wht the hell u doing in the kitchen @ one in the morning?

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

i was hungry! i was gonna eat some of the leftover breadsticks!

 

Justin Seagull:

oh hell naw i called those!

hyung slice him!

 

MinnieThePooh:

jungkook!

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

it doesn’t matter wht i was doing! i couldve died!

 

Lil MeowMeow:

tht wouldve been ur own fault

weve been plotting ur death in the gc for the past ten min! u didnt get the notifications?

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

oh im sorry i was too busy getting food to read ur murderous intent!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

we accept ur apology

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

yo wtf is all this noise?

jinnie hyung wya?

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

in the kitchen

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

joonie! kim seokjin and min yoongi tried to kill me!

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

wht!?

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

i wouldnt go so far as to say we tried to kill him

more like he almost died by our hand

 

Lil MeowMeow:

there is a distinction 

 

MinnieThePooh:

where?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

tht all he got was an axe almost to the head

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

true

we almost chloroformed his ass and tossed him out the window

 

Justin Seagull:

ლ(゚д゚ლ)

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

(゚ー゚;)

 

MinnieThePooh:

(●__●)

 

Lil MeowMeow:

ugh i got out of bed for no reason

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

thts ur concern!?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

well we do have to wake up in a few hrs to see the sunrise hobi! excuse me for having my priorities straight!

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

priorities!?!?

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

why they try to kill u anyways?

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

his greedy ass was skulking around the kitchen! we thought he was an intruder!

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

i was not skulking! 

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

...

its too early for this shit

 

MinnieThePooh:

ur right hyung

good night

hobi dnt die

 

Justin Seagull:

and stay out my breadsticks bitch!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

to bed with u idiots

u ppl are so lucky tae is a heavy sleeper

 

Lil MeowMeow:

hoseoks the one screaming in the middle of the night 

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

uhh lets not forget ur battle cry of death 

 

Lil MeowMeow:

wtvr at least i didnt sound like a dying cat

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

( ⁰д⁰) there was. an axe. to my HEAD. 

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

would u prefer a belt to the throat?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

oh hyung! why didnt we think of tht earlier? we could’ve just strangled him!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

i know! it popped into my head too late which is just a damn shame

 

Lil MeowMeow:

yea it wouldnt leave such a mess in our kitchen

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

...

u ppl need help!

Chapter Text

Worldwide_Handsome:

alrighty

its 4:30 in the morning and we need to be out this bitch by 5:30 to get to Eurwangni Beach on time

get ur asses up

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

im up babe

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

good

wake up the living room dwellers and get them ready

yoongi and i will get breakfast set up

 

Lil MeowMeow:

why i gotta help?

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

bc i said so

get ur ass up

 

Lil MeowMeow:

ugh!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

stop crying u big baby

i cooked the food yesterday so we only need to reheat it

 

Lil MeowMeow:

oh ok

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

lol

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

wht?

 

MinnieThePooh:

[image sent]

 

‘wake up kookie its time to get up

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

[image sent]

‘wake up kookie its time for breakfast’

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

well at least hes up

jk and jimin, wash up and get dressed 

 

MinnieThePooh:

(*^▽^*)b a-ok!

 

Justin Seagull:

stop being happy its too damn early

 

MinnieThePooh:

come on sweet lil kookie 

 

Justin Seagull:

im taller than u yk

 

MinnieThePooh:

and?

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

good morning all!!! ♡〜٩(^▿^)۶〜♡

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

ahhh! ur smile is too bright!

 

Lil MeowMeow:

( •_•)>⌐■-■

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

lmfao

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

coolio so i checked the forecast n it should be clear blue skies w/ the sun beaming on our backs!

 

Lil MeowMeow:

tht sounds like a bad forecast! nobody is tryna be walking around under a blazing sun!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

well u are so hush up

hobi, joon, go wash up in my bathroom

wheres taetae?

 

MinnieThePooh:

umm thts my nickname hyung

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

(¬、¬) ok well where is taehyung?

 

Captain TaeTae:

im up hyung!

(◕ᴥ◕) good morning!!!

 

Justin Seagull:

morning!

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

happy morn taeberry!!!

 

Lil MeowMeow:

hey tae u wanna help me clean up the living room? those pigs left it in a disarray

 

MinnieThePooh:

hey!

 

Justin Seagull:

(ˆ(oo)ˆ) oink

 

Captain TaeTae:

(⌒∇⌒) silly kookie

 

Justin Seagull:

(─‿─) i blessed our ears w/ the tae laugh

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

OTL

 

Lil MeowMeow:

oooh hyung there r crumbs on ur couch

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

JEON FKING JUNGKOOK

 

Justin Seagull:

it was hobi hyung!

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

u snitch!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

come vacuum my damn couch! 

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

but!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

NOW!

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

(O∆O) coming

 

MinnieThePooh:

taetae im done in the bathroom u can go get washed up if u want

 

Captain TaeTae:

ok! thx minnie

 

Lil MeowMeow:

who the hell is gonna help me fold these blankets?

 

MinnieThePooh:

im coming dammit

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

breakfast is on the table

 

Justin Seagull:    

do i smell the special soup?!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

<( ̄︶ ̄)> mmhmm

 

Justin Seagull:

ᕕ(◉Д◉ )ᕗ

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

dnt eat it all!

 

Justin Seagull:    

shut up and clean tht couch!

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

凸(`0´)凸

 

Worldwide_Handsome:     

jungkook! go put some clothes on!

 

Justin Seagull:    

i have clothes on!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:    

ur wearing a pair of briefs

go get tf dressed or u wnt eat

 

Justin Seagull:

(꒪ȏ꒪;)

 

Pornesian_Parapio:     

a gust of wind just zoomed past me wtf

 

MinnieThePooh:

tht was jk

 

Lil MeowMeow:

living room is clean and blankets are back in the closet

                                                

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

right beside my potential murder weapon

 

Lil MeowMeow:     

let it go seok 

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

i couldve been a real life rendition of a vampire rn

 

Justin Seagull:     

if u were a vampire my machete wouldve been in ur neck quicker than hyungs axe

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:     

dean would be so proud

 

Justin Seagull:    

(∩_∩)

 

Lil MeowMeow:     

rlly need to stop w/ tht show

                     

Worldwide_Handsome:

never! supernatural is life!

 

Justin Seagull:    

life!!

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

life!!!

 

Pornesian_Parapio:      

u have no idea the trouble tht show has caused me

our first tv broke bc hobi got too scared n put a hammer thru it

and he once covered all our mirrors in an effort to not get killed by bloody mary

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

umm tht bitch almost got my guy sam

wht u think she’s gonna do to me?

 

MinnieThePooh:

pls go get dressed

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

wtvr

 

Worldwide_Handsome:    

alright im gonna go get ready

dnt eat everything 

 

Pornesian_Parapio:    

ill save u some babe

 

Justin Seagull:

im dressed!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:    

...come with me

 

Justin Seagull:    

why?! this looks fine!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:     

ur wearing nonsense lets go

 

Justin Seagull:

ᕕ( ཀ ʖ̯ ཀ)ᕗ coming

 

Lil MeowMeow:

ima go get ready too

 

Captain TaeTae:      

im done!

 

MinnieThePooh:     

come sit beside me!

hobi hyung move!

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:    

i get no respect with u ppl

 

Pornesian_Parapio:     

boohoo cry me a river

 

MinnieThePooh:    

(^艸^)

 

Captain TaeTae:         

mmm! this soup is rlly yummy

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:    

thts bc jin hyung made it this time

 

Lil MeowMeow:

alright look bitch!

 

MinnieThePooh:

oh hyung! u should wear one of ur new outfits from the mall

 

Worldwide_Handsome:    

oh yes! of those clothes i do so approve

 

MinnieThePooh:     

wht do u think hobi hyung?

                            

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

uhhhh

                        

Captain TaeTae:

hyung are u ok? ur face is all red

 

Justin Seagull:

cimcf

 

MinnieThePooh:

ooh wear the green shirt

itll make ur hair pop

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

uhhhhh

 

Lil MeowMeow:     

ok

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:    

uhhhh

 

Justin Seagull:

lmfao

 

Captain TaeTae:

oh! oh! i brought the charm bracelets w/ me!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

huh?

 

Captain TaeTae:      

u guys forgot them @ my house so i brought them so we can wear them on our day trip

we can also wear our jackets!

 

MinnieThePooh:

im all for the jackets

 

Justin Seagull:

man fuck them jackets

 

MinnieThePooh:    

u wanna fight? try me bitch try me

 

Worldwide_Handsome:     

im about to chloroform myself

at this rate we’ll never make it to the beach

 

Lil MeowMeow:

not a gr8 loss

 


 

 

Lil MeowMeow:

alright im not gonna lie

this sunrise is pretty fking beautiful 

 

Captain TaeTae:      

(✿◠‿◠) isnt it gorgeous ahjussi

 

Pornesian_Parapio:    

it reminds of how jin hyung looks in the morning

 

Worldwide_Handsome:     

oh really?

 

Pornesian_Parapio:    

it always has me very energized  

 

Worldwide_Handsome:    

i can help u burn some of tht energy in the morning if u want

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

oh can u???

 

Captain TaeTae:

will u exercise hyungs?

                     

MinnieThePooh:

there r young’uns in this chat

pls be mindful

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:    

i am disgusted 

 

Justin Seagull:

i am cold

 

MinnieThePooh:

put ur jacket on

 

Justin Seagull:

no!

 

MinnieThePooh:

then freeze punk!

 

Justin Seagull:

i will!

               

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

is it me or is tht guy coming over here?

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

wht guy?

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

that buff guy right behind u?

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

WHT ?!?!!!?

 

Justin Seagull:

hahaha

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

...hes speaking spanish

 

Lil MeowMeow:

how do u know he’s speaking spanish?

                             

Worldwide_Handsome:

he called me ‘guapo’ and i know the word handsome in eight different languages 

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

(/ヘ ̄、)

 

Lil MeowMeow:

ignore him hell go away

 

MinnieThePooh:

but thts rude

 

Lil MeowMeow:

if i had a middle name ‘rude’ would be it

 

Justin Seagull:

‘dgaf’ would be mine

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

he might speak another language 

try to speak to him in english joon!

 

Lil MeowMeow:

ignore the man!

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

ill try

.

.

.

its not working

 

Justin Seagull:

wht are we to do now?

 

Captain TaeTae:

he said ‘can any of you gentlemen help me find my keys though i prefer the handsome one right here’

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

told u he called me handsome

 

Pornesian_Parapio:     

Oh he tryna fight!

tell him to back his beefy ass up before i fight him

 

Justin Seagull:

before i get yoongi to fight him*

u cant fight worth a shit hyung

 

MinnieThePooh:

esp not against this guy

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

so we just gonna skirt over the fact tht taehyung can speak spanish?

 

Captain TaeTae:

i can speak a few languages hyung

 

MinnieThePooh:

oh shit

we have a namjoon 2.0?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

i hope not 

i dnt even like the original namjoon

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

oh fck you hy—WHY IS THIS MAN GRABBING ME?!

 

Captain TaeTae:

i told him ‘my hyung said mean things about u. he said u are weird and he wants to use violence on u’

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

THTS NOT WHT I SAID

 

Worldwide_Handsome:    

ehh it is in a g-rated nutshell

 

Lil MeowMeow:

jk throw hands

 

Justin Seagull:

aye aye captain

               

Captain TaeTae:

i thought i was the captain 

 

Justin Seagull:

ahh! he kicked me in my lovesack!

 

MinnieThePooh:

dnt do my mans like tht!!!

 

Captain TaeTae:

minnie! u cant ride him! hes not a horse!

 

Lil MeowMeow:

pretty sure hes tryna choke him out but ok

use ur belt jimin! use ur belt!

 

MinnieThePooh:

the bitch is pulling my hair!!

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

damn

jiminie’s kryptonite 

 

Lil MeowMeow:

ugh now i gotta get up

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

i like how the one whos the cause of this fight is just sitting here watching the sky

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

my beauty is coveted by mere mortals

it is out of my control

 

Justin Seagull:

kick his ass yoongi hyung!

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

ok well get this guy to LET ME GO!!!

HES CUTTING OFF MY AIRWAY

 

MinnieThePooh:

i got my belt off now!

haha bitch!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

this was a good idea tae

 

Captain TaeTae:

(*☌ᴗ☌)。*゚thank you hyung!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

this is a wonderful start to our day trip

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

-__-

Chapter Text

Jungkook sat contently in the back of the van, squished up against the window. They were heading to the aquarium; it was the only place open this early and Seokjin-hyung figured the aquarium would be a nice, peaceful follow-up to the beach. Honestly, it was a wise decision, considering the fact that freaking Kim Namjoon single-handedly almost caused the downfall of their entire friendship group with his big mouth. 

Good thing we have a Min Yoongi, Jungkook thought. Because seriously? What supposedly smart, sane person talked shit about a two hundred thirty pound man who looked like he ate bad dreams for breakfast and people like Namjoon for a light snack? Speaking of that huge fucker, Jungkook turned around and tapped Taehyung’s shoulder, “Hey, TaeTae. Where’d you learn Spanish?”

Taehyung turned from playing with Jimin’s bright red hair (Jungkook would laugh at the look of awe on Jimin’s face but he had a feeling it would earn him another kick to his precious area) and smiled widely at the youngest. “When I was ten, I got lost and met a nice lady on the street. She was Colombian. I would meet her every day and bring her stuff if she asked and she taught me Spanish,” Taehyung explained simply. “She stopped coming around, though, when I was fifteen. I really miss her.”

Jungkook stared shell-shocked at the older boy, trying to let the story penetrate into his brain. Knowing what he knew about Taehyung, Jungkook couldn’t find it in himself to be completely surprised. 

“Do you know any other languages?” Jimin suddenly asked from the other side of Taehyung. 

“Yep!” Taehyung exclaimed with a small giggle. Jungkook’s stomach fluttered and he almost cooed, swear to god. 

Jungkook leaned forward to look at Jimin. “Of course he knows more, Dummy. He said so at the beach,” He said with a roll of his eyes. Before he could blink, Jimin had his right sneaker in his hand, brandishing it like a weapon. “I will let this shoe fly, Kook. No one would be able to stop it from catching your forehead. Try me again.”

Freezing, Jungkook slowly leaned back into his seat. “So,” Jungkook said, clearing his throat. “What other languages do you know, Taehyung?”

Taehyung tapped his chin contemplatively, his bottom lip sticking out in a slight pout, “Hmm. I speak Korean, Spanish, Japanese, and Russian fluently; I’m not very good at French or Mandarin but I can understand basic conversation.”

“Whoa,” Jungkook uttered, amazed. This guy was so far out of Jimin’s league. “You know, Jimin can barely speak Korean properly.”

“Alright, that’s it!”

Smack. “Ow! What the fuck, Jimin?” Jungkook groaned, grabbing his throbbing forehead in pain. “It’s not my fault you’re illiterate!”

“You cannot be talking about illiteracy right now when your mom had to get you a tutor just to get a C in literature in high school!” Jimin snapped at his friend, smirking when he saw the scandalized look on his face.

Jungkook gawped at Jimin in horror, “You’re really just going to air out my life story in front of these strangers?”

Jungkook heard a loud, dramatic gasp from the row in front of him before Hoseok stuck his body over the chairs, “Strangers?! We are but strangers to you? I waste my life with you on the daily and I’m a stranger?”

“If you’re describing spending time with me as wasting your life then yes, you are a stranger to me,” Jungkook clarified with a sneer. 

“Come here, you ingrate!” Hoseok snarled, his hands wrapping around Jungkook’s neck and squeezing tightly. Jungkook choked as Hoseok shook him back and forth. “I’ll teach you to love me!”

“Sit your asses down back there!” Seokjin suddenly snapped from the driver’s seat. The car pulled to a stop at a traffic light and the eldest turned around in his seat. “If I have to pull over and separate you, I will let Yoongi beat you with his belt.”

A dainty hand raised in the air, displaying a black leather belt in its grasp. “I’ll sling it without mercy,” Yoongi warned tonelessly. “I’ll start with Namjoon.”

Namjoon, appalled, hastily sat up in his seat, “I didn’t even do anything!” 

“I know,” was the second-oldest reply. 

It was silent for a long moment before everyone scrambled to their assigned spots. Jin stared and then turned around in his seat, shifting the car into drive. Jungkook sat quietly in his seat, rubbing at his aching neck. Today was just a day of pain for the youngest. In his eye’s peripheral, Jungkook saw Taehyung fiddling with his charm bracelet; Jungkook stared at his own charm bracelet. He wore it on the same wrist as his chummy chain (Hoseok-hyung was an idiot) and it sparkled prettily in the light. 

Jungkook examined his bracelet critically, staring at the jewel-encrusted charms: a paintbrush, a clef note, a poké ball, a shoe, and a brain. A brain. Jungkook knew he was many things but knowledgeable wasn’t one of them; he was naturally gifted in the arts but he never could grasp other subjects like math. Or literature. He wondered why a brain, of all things, reminded Taehyung of him. 

“Hey, Tae,” Jungkook whispered, conscious of keeping the silence. Taehyung looked to his left and made eye contact with the youngest. “What...what made you want to put a brain on my charm bracelet? I’m not very smart.”

Taehyung frowned, “Don’t be silly, Kookie. Everyone is smart even if it’s in different ways. You have a great brain; you memorize choreography and drawing techniques and national anthems. You’re very thoughtful, thinking of others instead of yourself. You may not always show it to others but I see it, Kookie. You’re amazing!” 

Jungkook didn’t understand how a person he only knew for a few months could see more in him than his own family did. No one ever really called Jungkook smart before, not even his parents; when he’d complain about how hard school was or how much he didn’t understand, his mom would always try to comfort him by telling him it didn’t matter as long as he tried his best. Jimin would seek to cheer him up through dance or wisecracks. Jin-hyung would hug him until he couldn’t breathe and then make him a meal. Taehyung told him he was wrong, that he was smart. 

Thankful, Jungkook gave the elder a watery smile. Taehyung grinned and pulled him into a hug. “When we get home, we should finish the mural. We only did Bluebird and Forget-Me-Not so far,” Taehyung suggested happily, pulling away from Jungkook with a bright smile. Jungkook nodded, “Sure.”

Jungkook looked at the cheerful Taehyung and realized the world was missing out. The sun was sitting right here, cramped in the backseat of a blue van on a day trip. And it was as blinding up close as everyone thought it would be. 

Chapter Text

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

since we’re banned from speaking i will do this here

i spy with my lil eye smth white 

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

srsly? i spy?

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

yes srsly i spy

u got a problem w i spy boi?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

hobi u know namjoons eyes go cross eyed when he plays i spy

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

THEY DO NOT

 

Justin Seagull:

yes they do

u look like a chameleon ◴_◶

 

MinnieThePooh:

oh SHIT (≧艸≦*)

 

Justin Seagull:

ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

cimcf hahahahaha

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

well at least i can find the objects unlike jungkook AND hoseok hyung

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

i am the i spy champion boi wdym

 

Lil MeowMeow:

hardly

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

hater

i can beat anybody in i spy

 

MinnieThePooh:

in ur dreams hyung

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

*gasp* 

et tu, jimin?

 

MinnieThePooh:

╮(︶▽︶)╭ just stating facts hyung

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

(≖╻≖;)

 

Captain TaeTae:

how do u play i spy? its a game right?

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

a game? a GAME?! i spy is a way of LIFE!

 

Justin Seagull:

...

 

Lil MeowMeow:

yea tae its a game

 

Captain TaeTae:

(*≧▽≦) i wanna play!

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

ok! the most important vote is in!

taeddy bear, we’ll teach u thru a trial run ok?

 

Captain TaeTae:

φ(^ω^*)ノ im ready to learn!

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

cute

whos the spy?

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

me bitch now shut up

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

ヽ(ー_ー )ノ

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

alright alright

i spy with my lil eye something yellow

 

Lil MeowMeow:

namjoons teeth?

 

MinnieThePooh:

(ಡ艸ಡ)

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

naw not tht yellow

 

Justin Seagull:

oof ◎☆(♯××)┘

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

(¬_¬)ノ

 

Justin Seagull:

that bumblebee camaro six cars ahead of us?

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

nope

hint: it is important 

 

Justin Seagull:

then it HAS to be the bumblebee 

bumblebee helped save human lives hyung!

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

omf ITS NOT THE BUMBLEBEE 

 

Justin Seagull:

HOW WOULD U KNOW?!

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

BC IM THE MF SPY JUNGKOOK

 

Justin Seagull:

right

another hint

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

it never goes away

 

Captain TaeTae:

ever?

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

ever

like namjoons bacne

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

now ur just lying

 

Captain TaeTae:

its ok if u have bacne hyung i still love u

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

thx but i dnt have bacne

 

Lil MeowMeow:

so u say

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

he has bacne

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

I DONT HAVE BACNE

 

MinnieThePooh:

...

 

Justin Seagull:

caution: mentally unstable father up ahead

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

back to the game pls

yellow constant thing everybody needs

 

Lil MeowMeow:

this is an easy one

 

MinnieThePooh:

ooh ooh i know

me! me! me!

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

ok jimin

what is it?

 

MinnieThePooh:

the sun!

 

Justin Seagull:

*loud buzzer* wrong answer stupid

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

correct!

 

Justin Seagull:

WTF

HOW DO WE NEED THE SUN MORE THAN BUMBLEBEE?!?!!!???

 

Lil MeowMeow:

i regret knowing jk every moment of every day

 

Justin Seagull:

ヽ(♯`Д´)ノ

 

MinnieThePooh:

hush up losers its my turn

hmmm

i spy with my lil eye something normal

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

...what kind of fking clue is that?

 

MinnieThePooh:

the clue i gave u

 

Lil MeowMeow:

welp i guess hobi aint it

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

nor are u

 

Justin Seagull:

i find tht ur statement might be contradictory to our plan

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

wht plan?

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

NO PLAN

HINT JIMIN HINT

 

MinnieThePooh:

lol

hint: it has a distinctive shape

 

Justin Seagull:

i have it!

namjoon hyungs neck

its the thickest rectangular prism ive seen in my life

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

ur head looks like a cylinder so get at me

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

im honestly just surprised jungkook hardcore dissed namjoon using geometry

they grow up so fast

 

Justin Seagull:

(^(エ)^)Thanks♪

 

MinnieThePooh:

last hint fellas:

it has a distinctive color

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

it has to be namjoons head

its purple and square

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

( ︶︿︶)_╭∩╮

“He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.” - Mark Twain

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

...now thts just hurtful

 

Lil MeowMeow:

u cant tell but im laughing

on the inside

 

MinnieThePooh:

its not namjoon hyungs head

though it does fit 2/3 of the description 

 

Justin Seagull:

u right

a head tht big could not possibly be normal

is it a stop sign?

 

MinnieThePooh:

no

 

Justin Seagull:

(¬з¬) stop lying

 

MinnieThePooh:

its not!

 

Captain TaeTae:

can i guess?

 

MinnieThePooh:

yes u can

 

Lil MeowMeow:

give it a try tae

 

Captain TaeTae:

is it a traffic light?

 

MinnieThePooh:

YES IT IS

✽-(ˆ▽ˆ)/✽ ✽\(ˆ▽ˆ)-✽

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

✵(๑◊๑)✶

 

Captain TaeTae:

q(❂‿❂)p really?

 

MinnieThePooh:

yep congrats!!!

now its ur turn

 

Captain TaeTae:

( ◠‿◠ ) ok!

 

 

[Happy Feet]

 

DanceKing:

was it really a traffic light?

 

DancePrince:

ehh close enough

 

DanceKing:

*gasp* u cheater!

 

DancePrince:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ im just tryna get in where i fit in

 

DanceSlave:

it was a stop sign wasnt it?

wasnt it?

 

DancePrince:

i plead the fifth

 

DanceSlave:

...

ur dead to me

 

DancePrince:

꒡ꆚ꒡ fine by me bitch

 

 

[Happy Travels!!!]

 

Captain TaeTae:

i spy with my little eye something alive

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

is it in this car?

 

Captain TaeTae:

no

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

is it a person?

 

Captain TaeTae:

no

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

is it an animal?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

damn hobi let somebody else get a turn

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

im sorry is this i spy or we spy?

is it an animal?

 

Captain TaeTae:

yes

 

Justin Seagull:

does it start with the letter d?

 

Captain TaeTae:

yes

 

Justin Seagull:

is it the golden retriever in the car beside us?

 

Captain TaeTae:

oh tht dog is so pretty! hi doggie!

and no

 

MinnieThePooh:

is it the deer we just passed?

 

Captain TaeTae:

we passed a deer? i wanna see

 

Lil MeowMeow:

tht means no

is it the white poodle two cars ahead?

 

Captain TaeTae: 

correct ahjussi! 

(。⌒∇⌒)。good job!!!

 

Lil MeowMeow:

thank you taehyung

i spy with my little eye something idiotic

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

KIM NAMJOON!

 

Lil MeowMeow:

correct how did u know?

 

Justin Seagull:

BURNNNN

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

alright min yoongi ur abt to die

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

SHUT UR ASS UP NAMJOON ITS MY TURN!

 

MinnieThePooh:

...

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

...

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

◉‿◉ ok!

i spy with my little eye something green

Chapter Text

Worldwide_Handsome:

i mean this from the bottom of my heart

dnt u get in here and embarrass me or there will be hell to pay

 

MinnieThePooh:

u sound like my mom whenever she took me and kook somewhere

 

Justin Seagull:

which was completely uncalled for

 

MinnieThePooh:

u once tried to fight a nine year old in a ball pit

 

Justin Seagull:

so?

 

MinnieThePooh:

u were eighteen

 

Justin Seagull:

he shouldnt have tried me

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

( ̄~ ̄;)

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

my point still stands

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

we got u babe

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

we’ll see

 


 

Jimin was sitting on the bench, his eyes easily following Taehyung’s lean frame. In an effort to minimize the potential damage, Seokjin split the large group up into units; after a vigorous game of rock-paper-scissors, Jimin found himself traipsing through the first floor with an enthusiastic Taehyung by his side. Jimin listened avidly every time Taehyung would begin spouting off the random facts he seemed to know about the fish, his heart in his throat as Taehyung pulled him along. 

“Minnie, look! It’s a blacktip reef shark!” Taehyung cried out excitedly. Jimin felt a swell of affection at how Taehyung pressed his body against the glass in a bid to be closer to the aquatic animals. “Minnie, did you know that the blacktip reef shark don’t usually grow to be more than six feet? They are also ideal aquarium fish due to their stereotypical appearance and their moderate size. They’re beautiful, right?” Taehyung remarked absently, his large eyes following the movements of the fish. One of the sharks turned and seemingly looked directly at Taehyung; the younger gasped before smiling, waving at the creature. 

“Yeah,” Jimin muttered, staring at Taehyung’s profile. “They’re beautiful.”

Taehyung nodded before skipping over to sit on the bench beside Jimin. As soon as he sat down, Taehyung leaned over and placed his head on Jimin’s shoulder, humming contently. Jimin froze at the sudden actions before he forced his body to relax, laying his head atop of Taehyung’s. 

“You really like animals, huh?” Jimin asked casually, looking at the vibrant exhibit in front of him. 

Taehyung nodded in confirmation. Jimin watched his face light up with a bright grin, his heart stuttering in his chest. “I love animals! They’re so amazing and smart! When I was younger, I used to go into the woods and sing with the birds. I never heard more beautiful singing than the early morning call of birds,” Taehyung recounted wistfully. 

“Did you have any pets?” Jimin asked. 

Taehyung frowned and shook his head, his lips forming into a glum pout. “No, I wasn’t allowed to have a pet,” Taehyung informed the elder. Suddenly, a large smile spread across his face and he turned and looked at Jimin, “Let’s go find Nemo! You wanted to see him, right?”

Forgetting that he himself had a personal interest in going to the aquarium, Jimin felt pleased that Taehyung even remembered that Jimin wanted to see the clownfish. Jimin returned Taehyung’s smile and nodded, “Yeah, I did.”

Taehyung beamed happily at Jimin before pulling him off the bench by his hands and dragging him towards the exit. Jimin suddenly understood why Hoseok found it so difficult to be alone with Yoongi; if his hyung felt even half of what Jimin was feeling in this beautiful moment, it was enough to run for the hills. It felt like summer spawned in his chest, filling even the smallest crevices of his body with its blinding light. And it was too warm, too bright and Jimin’s heart was pumping too fast. But he felt like he was coming home. 

 

 *

 

Hoseok trailed uncertainly behind a shorter Yoongi. After Jin-hyung came up with the brilliant idea to split the group up, Hoseok found his right hand curled into a ball, matching Yoongi’s left hand in a sea of scissors. Hoseok didn’t know if his luck was just really bad or really good. He was inclined to believe the former since Yoongi, the star of his wet dreams, was currently wearing his favorite color while wearing the scent of crisp apples and cinnamon. Everything about Yoongi engulfed Hoseok until all he knew was Yoongi. It made it very difficult to hold a conversation. 

Yoongi and Hoseok opted out of exploring the main building, deciding to go to the smaller building which housed the dolphins. Entering the building, Hoseok saw that the exhibit was devoid of people, a total of twenty people inside; while it was one of the most popular attractions, it was also eight in the morning on a Wednesday. Speeding up to match Yoongi’s pace, Hoseok nodded towards the exhibit, “Do you think we’ll be able to feed them?”

Yoongi’s shrug was noncommittal, “We can always ask.” They stopped in front of the tank, watching as the trainer had the dolphin jump into the air or wave its flippers in greetings. Hoseok eagerly waved back to the dolphin.  Another trainer came out and began to lecture the audience about dolphins; Hoseok tuned out the informative speech and used that moment to study his hyung. 

Yoongi had on black overalls, which was bad enough in itself but that wasn’t what drew Hoseok’s eyes. Yoongi was wearing a green collared, button-up shirt, its sleeves hidden underneath his black letterman jacket. The shirt complemented his hair and by leaving the top two buttons undone, Yoongi’s milky collarbone seemed even more prominent. He was wearing Hoseok’s favorite color, and he was wearing it so well. And Hoseok couldn’t take his eyes off him. 

“Hyung,” Hoseok suddenly burst out, startling both Yoongi and himself. His cheeks flushed in embarrassment, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. Just, uh, I wanted to say you looked nice. I know you were worried at the mall about adding more colors than black to your wardrobe, but you shouldn’t be. You look really good.”

Yoongi stared silently at Hoseok, his eyes scanning his face. Hoseok stood unmoving, his eyes never leaving Yoongi’s. After a tense moment, Yoongi gave a small smile of gratitude, “Thanks, Hoseok. Though I don’t know how much your opinion is worth, considering the fact that you own a furry t-shirt.”

“Hey,” Hoseok protested with a smirk on his face. “It’s an acquired taste. You’re just jealous that I have evolved into a higher fashion.”

Yoongi tilted his head doubtfully, “I’m pretty sure your fashion sense has reached lows that were previously unheard of.”

Huffing, Hoseok snootily turned his head in faux anger, the corner of his lips twitching at the low chuckle leaving Yoongi’s lips. The trainer suddenly clapped, capturing everyone’s attention. “Does anyone have any questions?”

Hoseok’s hand shot up, “Uh, do you think furry t-shirts are a point of fashion enlightenment or not?” 

At the question, Yoongi exploded in laughter, Hoseok following close behind. Seeing Yoongi’s unguarded gummy smile lit a fire in Hoseok’s gut; maybe this day trip wasn’t such a bad idea, after all. 

 

 *

 

Justin Seagull:

uh why did i have to go with u guys again?

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

bc u didnt wanna go w any of the others

 

Justin Seagull:

so? why couldn’t i just go alone then?

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

bc i cnt trust u by urself

 

Justin Seagull:

(゚д゚;) and why not?!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

i let u go off alone @ the store once and u destroyed an aisle

 

Justin Seagull:

=( ̄□ ̄;)⇒ they moved up the good cereal!

i couldn’t reach my apple jacks wht was i supposed to do?

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

not climb the shelves like a heathen

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

apple jacks? really?

 

Justin Seagull:

wht? whts wrong w apple jacks?

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

pls not again

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

whts wrong w apple jacks? how abt whats RIGHT w apple jacks?

nothing!

 

Justin Seagull:

are u seriously tryna get beat down in a kid friendly public place while u still have another guys fingerprints on ur neck?

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

im just saying

apple jacks are disgusting n inferior to cocoa puffs 

 

Justin Seagull:

COCOA PUFFS?!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

(。-_-。)*sigh*

here we go

 

Justin Seagull:

u honestly think cocoa puffs are better than apple jacks? is tht the lie ur gonna tell me on a beautiful wednesday morning?

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

its not a thought boi this is a FACT

COCOA PUFFS ARE A SUPERIOR CEREAL

 

Justin Seagull:

yea 

for apes!

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

u cannot name ONE cereal that transcends the beauty of cocoa puffs

not ONE!!!

 

Justin Seagull:

challenge accepted 

1)) trix

2)) fruity pebbles

haha heres two bitch

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

Trix!? boi TRIX?!

trix are so far from good cereal they could be on another planet 

 

Justin Seagull:

trix is one of the greatest cereals of all time, its recipe preserved since the dawn of man etched into the ancient stone of general mills

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

they so good and yet u went voyaging for apple jacks?

 

Justin Seagull:

bc they were out of trix!

DNT EVER DARE QUESTION MY LOVE OF THE TRIX

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

coco puffs

|

|

|

trix

nothing left to say

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

hey guys look! its an eel!

 

Justin Seagull:

ur opinion doesn’t even hold weight u loser!

u got uber choked out by a spanish man who was subdued by two mini dragons 

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

i didnt see u kicking his ass!

 

Justin Seagull:

bc he kicked my dick!

my future children were at stake!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

i feel a migraine coming on

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

u dnt deserve children if all ull do is feed them trash!

 

Justin Seagull:

THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH FRUITY PEBBLES 

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

YES THERE—oh wait

duh theres nothing wrong w fruity pebbles boi

 

Justin Seagull:

...you like fruity pebbles?

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

does the grass grow green?

 

Justin Seagull:

how am i supposed to know?

we’re inside rn stupid 

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

(-‸ლ)

y.e.s. jungkook i like fruity pebbles

when i can, i sneak a box into my room and eat them straight from the box

dnt tell hobi

 

Justin Seagull:

i do that too!

at least we all know fruity pebbles is life

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

FINALLY 

some PEACE

 

Justin Seagull:

nobody could dislike fruity pebbles tbh

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

true dat!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

meh

i dnt really like fruity pebbles 

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

...

 

Justin Seagull:

...

WHAT

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

U TRAITOR 

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

(;-_-) and there it goes

Chapter Text

[Happy Travels!!!]

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

that guy was so rude

 

MinnieThePooh:

wht guy?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

the dolphin trainer

he told hoseok to shut up 

 

Justin Seagull:

damn

 

Captain TaeTae:

ಠ⌣ಠ thts not v nice

are u ok hyung?

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

tae is the only one who loves me

 

Lil MeowMeow:

hey! i threatened the guys life for u!

 

MinnieThePooh:

oh did u? hmm

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

while i thank u for ur efforts my statement still stands

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

im not ashamed to say this

i dont love u hoseok

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

n i c e

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

(b^_^)b

where should we go next?

 

Justin Seagull:

bowling

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

im thinking either the arcade or the nat. museum

 

Justin Seagull:

bowling

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

the arcade!

 

Lil MeowMeow:

idc 

 

Captain TaeTae:

the arcade sounds like fun!

 

Lil MeowMeow:

the arcade*

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

smh

 

Justin Seagull:

bowling

 

MinnieThePooh:

im all for the arcade too

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

ok cool

so we’re all in agreement?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

yep

 

Captain TaeTae:

(≧∀≦)

 

MinnieThePooh:

whos gonna go against me on the racing game? i kick serious ass

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

lets get it

 

Justin Seagull:

oh so yall cant hear now?

 

MinnieThePooh:

nope

 


 

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

its a sad day when hoseok the dancing machine loses DDR

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

dnt judge me

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

u cant dance boi

lmfao

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

*gasp* i can dance! this game is not a proper representation of my skills hence why ‘cant see past my own nose’ namjoon managed to get a higher score than me!

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

wht did i do that i was pulled into this conversation?

 

Lil MeowMeow:

u were born, u breathe, u woke up this morning

take ur pick

 

MinnieThePooh:

┗|⌒O⌒|┛ohhhhh!

 

Captain TaeTae:

minnie lets play pinball! i love pinball!

 

MinnieThePooh:

see u fellas

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

im just saying

u got two left feet hobi

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

the slander u have placed on my name will not be ignored nor will it be forgiven

i challenge u to a game of pac man

winner takes all

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

what exactly is ‘all’?

 

Justin Seagull:

most likely namjoon hyung

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

ヾ(@⌒ー⌒@)ノ

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

namjoon is forever mine so

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

(ノ∀`♥)

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

pfft who needs a namjoon anyways?

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

ヽ(  ̄д ̄;)ノ

 

Justin Seagull:

ill take hyung

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

~(˘▾˘)~

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

‘all’ is loser is the winners slave for a day

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

hmm 

intriguing go on

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

the loser has to do whatever the winner says for 24 hours

if not then they have to suffer three spins on the wheel

 

Justin Seagull:

dnt do it hyung! people only make these types of deals when its a sure thing

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

deal!

 

Justin Seagull:

(ノ ̄д ̄)ノ

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

lets go find smth to play kook

 

Justin Seagull:

oh i saw this shooting game!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

lets go hoseok! time to put ur money where ur mouth is

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

come on then!

 

Lil MeowMeow:

well im just gonna go sleep in the dark corner

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

nope ur coming with us

we need a referee

 

Lil MeowMeow:

wtf for pacman?

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

stop complaining hyung 

 

Lil MeowMeow:

ugh

 

Justin Seagull:

hyung! shoot the targets!

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

i am!

 

Justin Seagull:

u lie!

 

Lil MeowMeow:

alright fellas i want a nice clean match

no punching, no biting, no kicking, no foul language, and no losing

whoever loses will be kicked in the head by your truly

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

that wasnt what we decided!

 

Lil MeowMeow:

u should’ve let me sleep then

now stop complaining or ill kick u now

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

fine jeez

 

Captain TaeTae:

minnie look! its a photo booth 

lets take some pictures 

 

MinnieThePooh:

\(^O^ )>* aye aye captain

 

Captain TaeTae:

Arg me matey! 。(*^▽^*)ゞ

 

 

[Happy Feet]

 

DancePrince:

at my funeral, i want jungkook to sing an Adele cover

 

DanceKing:

shut up boi

im about to whoop hyungs ass

 

DancePrince:

just stating it for the record

and i hope u lose

 

DanceKing:

(ʘᗩʘ’)

 

 

[Happy Travels!!!]

 

Lil MeowMeow:

alright! on my mark!

get ready! set!

GOOOO

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

ok i can admit that i suck at this game

 

Justin Seagull:

yes u do

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

thx for the love

 

Justin Seagull:

ur welcome

 

MinnieThePooh:

aw man

in half these pics my eyes are closed

 

Captain TaeTae:

lets take some more

 

MinnieThePooh:

ok!

 

Justin Seagull:

yo jimin wya

 

MinnieThePooh:

i am jimin no more

call me calico jimbles

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

???

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

hyung said no profanity! ref, call a red flag 

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

i said ‘dang’ boi DANG

 

Lil MeowMeow:

ooh, hobi lost his first life

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

noooo

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

exactly wht u get for trying to snitch

 

Justin Seagull:

calica jimbles wya

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

calico*

 

MinnieThePooh:

avast ye u land lubber! me an’ me cap’n be over past the seven seas into the land o’ the photo! yo-ho-ho!

 

Captain TaeTae:

ヾ(@⌒ー⌒@)ノ aye me hearty!

 

Justin Seagull:

...what?

 

MinnieThePooh:

(-‸ლ) *sigh*

we’re at the photo booth near the front jungkook

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

ahhhh

 

Justin Seagull:

that made no sense

 

MinnieThePooh:

u make no sense

Keep a weather eye open matey!

 

Captain TaeTae:

aye lad (‾-ƪ‾)

 

Lil MeowMeow:

hobi, 100 points will be docked from ur score for ur profanity!

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

(˚☐˚! )/

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

lmao

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

we shouldve let him take his nap

 

Lil MeowMeow:

300 points!

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

(○□○)

Chapter Text

Worldwide_Handsome:

so

hobi ur sleeping over our house 2night so ull be ready to serve me in the morning

 

Justin Seagull:

smh i had so much faith in u hobi hyung

 

MinnieThePooh:

i didnt

 

Justin Seagull:

damn

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

i couldve won if yoongi didnt end up docking 1000 points off my final score!

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

a thousand points? how’d he dock u that many points?

 

MinnieThePooh:

i thought it was only 300 

 

Lil MeowMeow:

he used profanity on two occasions, questioned the referee and his calls, and he bit hyungs shoulder when he started losing

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

HOBI! you bit my bf?!

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

dw babe 

i got all my shots

 

Pornesian_Parapio:

are u sure? we should get u a rabies shot just in case

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

im so offended rn

 

Captain TaeTae:

can we take group photos b4 we leave?

i wanna have smth to remember our day by

 

Lil MeowMeow:

ofc taetae 

hobi ill kick u in the head when u come sleep over

 

Frederick Benjamin the 35th:

(◯Δ◯∥) ur gonna WHT?

 

Worldwide_Handsome:

aight come on guys

lets get some pics

 

MinnieThePooh: