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[20biteen letS GET THIS BREAD]

FUCK YOU MJ: ok I really gotta ask it's been bugging me for ages

FUCK YOU MJ: Parker can u describe what ur “spideysense” is??? you mention it a shit ton on your twitter but you've never explained it

Thwip Thwip: ok so

Thwip Thwip: take anxiety

FUCK YOU MJ: yeah?

Thwip Thwip: and put it on steroids

Thwip Thwip: when I'm not fighting it's like that. Useful in fights but out of them? Actual hell

Rip Gene may he rest in peace: do u just hear the kill bill sirens in your head when it Happens

Thwip Thwip: nah it's hard to describe the like noise it makes? It's like when you see ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thwip Thwip: you make a noise in your head but it's really hard to explain the Noise

Raw me Sasuke: oh that makes sense

Raw me Sasuke: I think

Mmm Whatcha J: it really doesn't but go off I guess

Thwip Thwip: I thot u loved me MJ </3

Mmm Whatcha J: u thought wrong bitch </3

Thwip Thwip: ;((((

Mmm Whatcha J: fuck

 


 

[Keeping up with the Starkdashians]

Rihanna: I've never really questioned this before but @Space Lesbian why are you the only guardian who is able to keep in constant contact

Rihanna: I heard from the others that they had to be in a certain distance from earth to be able to contact us but you seem to be able to do it anywhere

We Stan Thor, God of Lesbians: Stark pulled me in to work on it so she can contact us anywhere

OG Child: can't believe father put in all that work to contact his oldest daughter

Rihanna: valid

OG Child: I Stan

Space Lesbian: I appreciated the effort he put in, he truly is a great man

 


 

[DM: Sally Avril and Cindy Moon]

Sleeping Beauty: hey uh Cin?

Cinderella: yeah sal?

Sleeping Beauty: I should probably be doing this in person but I am a whole ass coward so yeet

Cinderella: ???

Cinderella: sal? Is everything ok???

Sleeping Beauty: sorry I'm just trying to word it

Cinderella: it's ok, take your time!!!

Sleeping Beauty: ok

Sleeping Beauty: so uhhh

Sleeping Beauty: I think I might be gay and I think I might be hella gay for you

Cinderella: thanks

Sleeping Beauty:

Sleeping Beauty: what the fuck

 

[DM: Cindy Moon and Peter Parker]

[somewhat functional was renamed BIG FUCKING DISASTER!]

BIG FUCKING DISASTER: PETER HELP

Resident Disaster: what happened?! Are you ok do I need to swing over are you in danger

BIG FUCKING DISASTER: NO IM NOT IN DANGER LIKE THAT BUT I THINK IM GOING TO DIE

Resident Disaster: ??????

BIG FUCKING DISASTER: SO SALLY SAYS SHE LIKES ME AND I FUCKING

BIG FUCKING DISASTER: “THANKS”

Resident Disaster: wow I thought I was the disaster bi in the squad

BIG FUCKING DISASTER: SO DID I

Resident Disaster:

Love u thanks

BIG FUCKING DISASTER: PETER THIS ISNT THE TIME FOR MEMES HELP ME

Resident Disaster: it is always the time for memes Cindy

Resident Disaster: and maybe actually, y’know, respond like a person????

BIG FUCKING DISASTER: THAT IS ACTUally a really good idea

 

[DM: Sally Avril and Cindy Moon]

Sleeping Beauty: cin???

Sleeping Beauty: ah shit I've ruined our friendship yay me

Sleeping Beauty: sorry

Cinderella: WAIT NO DONT LEAVE

Sleeping Beauty: are you ok???

Cinderella: I was just shocked but omg!!!

Sleeping Beauty: good omg or bad omg

Cinderella: good!!!!!!

Sleeping Beauty: oh my god

Sleeping Beauty: because holy shit I didn't realise I liked you like that until you came for me with the “fuck me yourself you coward” and I was like “ok”

Sleeping Beauty: where I had a whole ass identity crisis because like you’re my best friend and I was like “wait whaaaaaat?!”

Cinderella: I can't believe you realised you weren't straight because of a meme

Sleeping Beauty: omg shut up

Cinderella: make me

///

[20biteen letS GET THIS BREAD]

Distinguished Bi: guys big news

Avril Lavigne: me and Cin are dating!!!!!

Thwip Thwip: Nice

Thwip Thwip:

Full love u meme

Distinguished Bi: you can go and fuck off

[Avril Lavigne was renamed Functional Lesbian!]

Mmm Whatcha J: that's accurate I did in fact say that when Peter and Ned asked me out

Full homo: can confirm

Raw me Sasuke: how did y'all end up dating from that???

Thwip Thwip: she said that and proceeded to tell us that we needed to make sure the first date is worth it, ergo accepting it

Rip Gene may he rest in peace: ergo, really?

[20biteen letS GET THIS BREAD was renamed gen z really is the gayest generation huh!]

 


 

[Justice league]

Fe: sometimes I have to praise tabloids and their ingenuity

Original Spider: what relationship drama have they came up with now?

Murica: What are you talking about?

Fe: well the last ‘big’ thing they came up with was how May and me had Peter while I was cheating on Pepper, simultaneously cheating on you while you dated Bucky. The resulting heartbreak made me pine after Dr Douchebag

Captain Momvel: I fail to see how it can get more… inane than that.

Fe: well

Fe: Bruce and Thor are both cheating on each other with Nat, who is also dating me, Pep, Barnes, Hope, Carol, Barton and Steve. The same relationships as above apply but also includes Rhodey and at the end where instead of me trying to comfort myself from the breakup because of all the cheating by going after Strange, I pursue Loki

Snerson: that's certainly… something

Bom Bom Bom Green Giant: I wish they would learn to give us some privacy, how would I continue to cheat on Thor with Nat if they keep publicising it?

Thunderbolts and Lightning: and likewise!

Falchion: I'm impressed you played along with the joke

Original Spider: what joke

Sting sting bitch: who is going to be the next subjects for relationship speculation?

Fe: my money is on Thor and Barton

Birb: aside from that little adventure, the tabloids seem to be rather focused on me and Nat so I doubt there would be me with someone else

Moira Hills: I am glad I am a relatively unknown name in the press’s eyes, I avoid most of the drama

Bom Bom Bom Green Giant: doesn't it frustrate you that this keeps happening while you have a wife and kids Clint?

Sting Sting Bitch: doesn't it frustrate you/Thor and Tony/Pepper since you are the other married ones?

Bom Bom Bom Green Giant: that's fair

Original Spider: it did annoy him

Birb: but then I had an idea

Birb: we’ve been playing the long game for years but we’ll have a resolution soon

Smol-est Man: uh what?

Original Spider: we’ve been leaning into it, never actually confirming it while making sure that it's highly plausible that we could be an “item”

Birb: so then when we finally decide to end it, the world will burn

Fe: this doesn't involve a shit ton of damages to anywhere right? I will not pay to fix up anything you break over pranks

Birb: no, it's just the Internet mainly

Fe: alright do it

Original Spider: we didn't need your permission Tony

Birb: wow we haven't done this much planning for one scheme since Budapest

Original Spider: we definitely remember Budapest differently

Smol-derman: I'm so confused

Falchion: I figured that the spider-runt would've had his own relationship “theories” and such

Falchion: since he's the young people’s favourite and all

Smol-derman: ehhhhh

Smol-derman: not much, they usually are chill with it being me/Ned/MJ but sometimes they go “Peter and Shuri?!?!” Or “Peter and Harley?!?!?!” And stuff

Smol-derman: but nothing as wild as what you guys get what the fuck?

Murica: Peter, language.

Elphaba: I saw me and Peter once and that was weird, especially since I am with Viz

Smol-derman: oh yeah! That was the one after we went to McDonalds together that one time, right??

Elphaba: yeah

Murica: Also it is getting rather late

Smol-derman: yeah yeah yeah go to bed sure

 

[Keeping up with the Starkdashians]

His Favourite: mr. America: go to sleep peter

His Favourite: me: and I said yeah, y’know, like a liar

We Stan Thor, God of Lesbians: lmaooooo

OG Child: :)

His Favourite: HARLEY DID YOU JUST FUCKING TELL ON ME

OG Child: uwu

Rihanna: get cucked

Space Lesbian: f

Space Lesbian: did I do that right?

We Stan Thor, God of Lesbians: you did amazing sweetie

His Favourite:

I hate this fucking family

 


 

[DM: Miles Morales and Peter Parker]

Arach-kid: hey Peter do you wanna go to another dimension other miles and Gwen are hanging out and invited us

Old man Spider-Man: let's get this bread, where are you guys?

Arach-kid: the hidden bit behind where the tower was that Mr. Stark said we could use when the others wanted to visit

Old man Spider-Man: nice

///

Arach-kid: Peter are you ok??? You seem to be disassociating

Old man Spider-Man: THERE IS NO WAY THAT PETER B IS WHAT ILL END UP LOOKING LIKE RIGHT?!?!

Arach-kid: ohhhhhh

Arach-kid: so nothing majorly wrong then?

Old man Spider-Man: LIKE NO I MEAN IT CANT BE THAT ACCURATE HES LITERALLY ANIMATED   WE WONT LOOK THE SAME RIGHT????

Old man Spider-Man: LIKE IF I WAS ANIMATED I BET I TOTALLY WOULDNT LOOK LIKE THOSE PICS OF YOUNGER PETER B????????

Arach-kid: do you want me to draw you animated????? For the fun of it at least

Old man Spider-Man: yeah go for it

///

Arach-kid: [sent a photo]

Arach-kid: sorry to break it to you Peter but I think you are totally gonna end up looking like Peter B

Old man Spider-Man: whaT THE FUCK I CANT BELIEVE THIS SHIT

Arach-kid: watch yo profanity

 


 

[gen z really is the gayest generation huh]

Thwip Thwip: what do I do I think all the female avengers adopted me

Rip Gene may he rest in peace: uh what

Thwip Thwip: idk?????? Last mission we did the female avengers all just formed like a big squad around me and the moment the mission finished they were all checking up on me, making sure I was ok?????

Mmm Whatcha J: I will gladly take your spot

Mmm Whatcha J: getting surrounded by powerful, influential women? I'd die for that

Thwip Thwip: I know this and I love you

///

Thwip Thwip: ok now this is getting fucking ridiculous

FUCK YOU MJ: what have the avengers done now

Thwip Thwip: there’s???? A group chat?????????????

Lizzy Maguire: who did?

Thwip Thwip: THE FEMALE AVENGERS

Thwip Thwip: I mean it's not just about me or anything cause y’known but like, they weRE TALKING ABOUT ME

Mmm Whatcha J: you mean to tell me there is a group chat for some of the most powerful women in the world, whom I very much idolise, and you haven't tried to get me added?

Full Homo: Peter how could you disappoint our girlfriend like that

Thwip Thwip: y'all I'm not even in it I only know about it because May’s phone kept buzzing when she went to get herself a coffee

 

[DM: Michelle Jones and Unknown]

Unknown: you are Peter’s girlfriend, correct?

Michelle Jones: who is this

 

[Girlvengers]

[Natalie Rushman is a very real person added 1 person!]

Natalie Rushman is a very real person: this is Peter’s girlfriend @Michelle Jones

The strongest avenger, May Parker: welcome to the chat MJ!!

Michelle Jones: oh my god

Michelle Jones: is this the female avengers chat???

Pepperoni: and other appropriate additions yes

Michelle Jones: I think I must be dead because this is what I imagined the afterlife must be like

Move over America, I'M the new Captain: you aren't dead

Hopey McHopeface: I imagine you have to deal with a lot of stuff because of your ties to the superhero world

Natalie Rushman is a very real person: it makes you qualified to be in this chat

Michelle Jones: I have to ask what the FUCK are those names

The strongest avenger, May Parker: I'm sorry! Peter had my unlocked phone so he changed them in retaliation because he saw we had been talking about him and the “momvenger” protocol

Blood orange, so pretentious. It's fucking (scarlet) red: don't worry May, it's fine

Michelle Jones: I look forward to learning more about this chat

Michelle Jones: and if possible would I be able to get interviews with you, only if you are available of course

Pepperoni: I'm sure we can come to an arrangement

 

[gen z really is the gayest generation huh]

Mmm Whatcha J: I have died and gone to heaven god is not dead my skin is clear my crops are watered this is the best timeline

Distinguished Bi: not to seem mean but what the fuck are you on MJ

Thwip Thwip: I have no idea tbh

Mmm Whatcha J: god is a woman

Mmm Whatcha J: no

Mmm Whatcha J: god is many women

Thwip Thwip: what

Mmm Whatcha J: many powerful powerful women

Thwip Thwip: WHAT THE FUCK MJ NO WAYDHDKDKCKFK

 


 

Lizzy Maguire: I heard you guys got through to Washington again!!!! Congrats!!!

Lizzy Maguire: I'll try get time to get through to watch the competition but with college it's difficult

Functional Lesbian: don't worry if you can't make it, we totally get it but it'd be so good to see you again!!!!!

Thwip Thwip: would you hate me if I said I didn't want to go

Mmm Whatcha J: sweetie :) you are going :) on the trip :)

Thwip Thwip: I am horroused

Thwip Thwip: but like, me and field trips are a massive NOTP

Full homo: oh my god Peter

Mmm Whatcha J: Peteld trips is my otp, I want it canon

Mmm Whatcha J:

 Gimme pictures of peteld trips

Thwip Thwip:

  • elementary school trip to the Stark Expo that my aunt/uncle chaperoned??? Hammer drones.
  • Oscorp? Bitten by that spider
  • DC? The Elevator and The Vulture
  • MoMA? Fucking Thotos
  • Compound? Identity got outed

Thwip Thwip: so I think it's understandable I have a tiny bit of anxiety over field trips and the likes

Full homo: honey, get ur cute butt over here I must give you my Love and Support

Lizzy Maguire: oh, that must really suck Peter :(

Thwip Thwip: eh, that's what the therapy is for

Thwip Thwip: and by therapy I mean sitting at 3am, eating stark raving hazelnut ice cream while I watch the old barbie movies

Lizzy Maguire: at this point I can't tell if you are memeing or not

Rip Gene may he rest in peace: I'm sorry but are we not going to address ‘Thotos’

Raw me Sasuke: you should’ve called him that to his face he would've died instantly

Thwip Thwip: I have many regrets in life and not calling Thanos a thot is one of them

Thwip Thwip: if he was going to kill me anyways I should’ve just done it

 


 

[DM: Peter Parker & Tony Stark]

Underoos: hey Tony?

Mr Anthony: yeah kid?

Underoos: I know this isn't really the conversation to be having over text but honestly I don't think I could get the courage to bring it up in person? Idk

Underoos: actually nvm it's not important just forget it

Mr Anthony: clearly it is important

Mr Anthony: you can tell me Pete, I will listen, or well read whatever you have to say

Underoos: so uh… we both know that I kinda somewhat call you Dad on occasion?

Mr Anthony: yep

Underoos: but I figured with the baby on the way it would probably be better if I stopped that? I mean, not get in the way of your family by causing confusion or anything

Mr Anthony: what?

Mr Anthony: you’re kidding right?

Underoos: I mean, the kid will be a big part of your life and everything and I know the Ironfam chat has me as the big brother but honestly I know I'm not so I should kinda keep my distance? So that you can spend time with your kid without me annoying or interrupting it

Mr Anthony: Peter

Mr Anthony: I don't want you to interrupt this

Mr Anthony: Pete, you are my kid. Even if I only came into your life recently and we aren't related by blood, we’re family.

Mr Anthony: just the same as how Rhodey and Happy are like my brothers, you are my kid

Mr Anthony: you, Harley, Nebula, Riri and this kid that's coming along? You are all my kids

Mr Anthony:

Mr Anthony: I'm a bad father

 

[Iron Fam]

Iron Dad: it has come to my attention that I've excluded many of my children from this chat and that's unacceptable

[Iron Dad added 3 people!]

[Harley Keener was renamed Iron Brother 1!]

[Iron Brother was renamed Iron Brother 2!]

[Nebula “Stark” was renamed Iron Sister 1!]

[Riri Williams was renamed Iron Sister 2!]

Iron Dad: now all the kids are here until baby girl can use tech

Iron Uncle: I was waiting for how long it would take you to add the kids

Iron Brother 2: wait a diddly darn second

Iron Brother 2: thE BABY’S A GIRL???

Iron Mom: Tony you were meant to wait until the baby shower to reveal that

Iron Dad: whoops

Iron Aunt: congratulations!!! Any names??

Iron Mom: Tony is insisting on Morgan and while I was opposed at first, I think I've grown to like it

Iron Sister 2: Morgan Stark has a nice ring to it

Iron Brother 1: I have a suggestion

Iron Uncle 2: they aren't calling their daughter Harley

Iron Brother 1: bad taste op

Iron Mom: I would consider it for a middle name but then it would be unfair to the rest of you if they didn't get any sort of name involved and 4+ middle names is extensive

Iron Dad: but extra enough that it's perfect for the newest Stark

Iron Aunt: Tony no

Iron Uncle: Tones no

Iron Mom: babe no

Iron Brother 2: Dad no

Iron Sister 2: oh have you finally gotten comfortable enough to call him Dad fulltime now?

Iron Brother 2: hush

Iron Dad: you are all allowed to call me Dad I have no reason to say no

Iron Sister 1: except he is likely to suffer a heart attack during each instance

Iron Sister 1: and Stark, won't it get confusing between who the various siblings and uncles are?

Iron Dad: you are correct Nebs

Iron Sister 1: don't call me that

Iron Dad: kids go wild with the names, but try to stick to the iron theme

[Iron Brother 1 was renamed xXx~Iron Harlz~xXx!]

xXx~Iron Harlz~xXx: awesome

Iron Dad: I have regrets

[Iron Brother 2 was renamed Iron Bider!]

Iron Uncle 2: bider?

Iron Bider: 1) brother+spider=bider 2) bisexual+spider=bider 3) pun on my iron spider suit

Iron Sister 2: I have to admit that's pretty smart

Iron Bider: thanks Ri!

[Iron Sister 2 was renamed I-Ri-on!]

I-Ri-on: done

Iron Sister 1: it's stupid to come up with another name

xXx~Iron Harlz~xXx: come on sis

Iron Aunt: Nebula, correct?

Iron Sister 1: that's correct

Iron Aunt: don't feel pressured, you can keep it the same or take your time choosing

Iron Bider: may I larb you so much

Iron Aunt: I larb you too

[Iron Uncle 1 was renamed Fun Uncle!]

[Iron Uncle 2 was renamed Grumpy!]

Iron Mom: honey why didn't you add Shuri?

Iron Dad: I asked and she said no and I won't force her

xXx~Iron Harlz~xXx: I have a suggestion for the middle name

Iron Mom: go on?

xXx~Iron Harlz~xXx: harteburi

Iron Aunt: what the actual fuck is that

xXx~Iron Harlz~xXx: Harley Peter Nebula Riri

Iron Bider: that sounds like the worst portmanteau ever

I-Ri-on: oh look at you using big boy word

Iron Bider: shush

xXx~Iron Harlz~xXx: sometimes a family is a superhero, a business queen, a grumpy bodyguard/driver, another superhero, the best aunt, two mechanic-inclined kids, yet another superhero and a literal alien

Iron Aunt: thank you Harley! I'm happy you think I'm a good aunt!

Iron Bider: May you are the absolute best aunt, worlds best aunt

Fun Uncle: I'm pretty sure May could’ve singlehandedly defeated Thanos the moment she heard that he even was near Peter

Iron Aunt: that's right :)

Iron Sister 1: I believe we would get on well May

 


 

[gen z really is the gayest generation huh]

Thwip Thwip: idk what's more embarrassing calling Pepper Potts-Stark mom or calling your aunt mom Karen send tweet

Full homo: you called pePPER POTTS-STARK MOM?!?!?!?!

Thwip Thwip: I did and I want to die of embarrassment

Lizzy Maguire: what caused it?

Thwip Thwip: so I was working on some paperwork that Pepper had given me to finish right? And idk Mother's Day is coming up and stuff, there's ads everywhere for it

Thwip Thwip: so I handed the papers back and said “here you go mom”

Thwip Thwip: I have to go jump off a cliff

Full homo: please don't?!?!

Mmm Whatcha J:

Do a flip

 

[DM: Peter Parker & Tony Stark]

Mr Anthony: why is Pepper in shock?

Mr Anthony: I tried to ask and all she got out was “Peter said” and then covered her face? But she's also smiling??

Underoos: I uh

Underoos: I called her mom?

Mr Anthony: ohhhhh

Mr Anthony: please say i didn't react like this when you kids called me Dad for the first time

Underoos: you didn't

Mr Anthony: thank god

Underoos: you were worse

Mr Anthony: you’re fired

 


 

[Justice League]

Murica: Tony; is there any way that we can decrease the amount of… dedicated fans around us after we do missions. I appreciate the support but it can be frustrating when we are trying to get to the briefing and, for example, get the attacker in custody and they are crowding us.

Moira Hills: you mean fangirls Steve

Fe: no can do cap, they all have crushes on you or one of us

Fe: actually, I’m pretty sure 90% of this chat had a crush on you at one point

Murica: That's besides the point, they could potentially get hurt if something goes wrong.

Smol-derman: wait what do you mean most people in this chat had a crush on Mr America

Smolest man: or has

Sting Sting Bitch: yes Scott we all know you have a crush on Cap

It's Iron Patriot technically Tony: are you ok with that? I know you two are together that is

Sting sting bitch: literally one of the first things he said when we started dating was “if I ever got the chance to have sex with Captain America I would, regardless of relationship status” so I'm ok with it. He's at least open about it

Murica: I'm flattered?

Fe: but to answer your question kid, yep

Smol-derman: I?

Murica: I don't understand, why?

Smolest-man: your ass among many other things

Fe: your ass

Thunderbolts and lightning: your ass Captain!

Original Spider: your ass

Captain Momvel: I'd guess your ass

Snerson: your ass

Magnet: your ass

Falchion: your ass

Nya: your ass Captain

Murica: What?

Smolest-Man: cap your ass is America’s ass

[Murica was renamed America's Ass!]

Smolest-Man: and it is one fine ass

Smol-derman: I???????

Fe: back in those days where I had a small hint of a crush and I decided when I made Cap’s new suit to make sure it did wonders for his ass because frankly his old one did nothing for it

Smol-derman: Dad please I don't want to hear about your crushes?

Falchion: that's adorable that you call him Dad

Smol-derman: shut up your mom buys you megablocks instead of legos

Magnet: haha he got you Sam

Falchion: I hate you so much

America’s Ass: You guys are all joking, right?

Smolest-Man: I am literally not joking

Smolest-Man: if you wanted to Cap ;)

Smol-derman: can you please not I am only a small child??? I don't want to hear about you guys having sex??????

Snerson: Peter you are 18, legally an adult

Smol-derman: no I'm babey

Dumbleydoor: you are all ridiculous

Fe: oh shush my awesome facial hair bro

Smolest-Man: just because you don't have taste

 


 

[Bug Squad]

BW: @everyone Nick wants us on infiltration mission this weekend. @SM , it's been cleared with May, Tony and Steve that you can go

SM: awesome!!!

TW: I'll make sure Hank leaves mine and Scott’s schedule free then

AM: I'll be honest and say I didn't expect them to allow this squad

SM: oh big mood

BW: it's always good to have a good stealth/infiltration team, regardless of the operation

TW: will Barton also be joining?

BW: no, Clint is fully retired from active duty, though he has said he'll remain as a trainer for who needs it

SM: yeah!! He's taught me some cool stuff, even some sharpshooting which is really useful for my webs!!! He's an awesome teacher!!!

BW: I'll pass along your thoughts to Clint then Peter, he’ll appreciate that

BW: also, early reminder that you need to be quiet. It's a stealth mission, you can't banter

SM: oops, sorry it keeps slipping my mind

TW: if he just turns off the microphone in the suit that projects his voice it should be fine?

AM: probably?

BW: I will see you all at the compound’s hanger 8am sharp

BW: and we have a little surprise for you for this mission Peter

///

SM: can I just say the stealth suit is one of the coolest things I've ever seen????

BW: I'm glad you like it

BW: fury pitched the idea to Tony and Tony decided to make it

AM: I want a cool ass stealth suit

TW: babe you can literally shrink down to the size of an ant I'm pretty sure that's classed as stealthy

AM: fair

 


 

[gen z really is the gayest generation huh]

Rip Gene may he rest in peace: I got accepted into NYU!!!!!!

Distinguished Bi: omg!!! I'm so happy for you!!!

Mmm Whatcha J: good job

Rip Gene may he rest in peace: the rare compliment from MJ, I'm shocked

Rip Gene may he rest in peace: does anyone else know where they’re going?

Mmm Whatcha J: Harvard

Raw me Sasuke: seriously?!

Mmm Whatcha J:

What like it's hard

Raw me Sasuke: I set you up waaaaay too easily for that

Mmm Whatcha J: yup

Functional Lesbian: Washington state!

Lizzy Maguire: that's where I study! When you arrive I can happily show you around the campus and where the other stuff is

Functional Lesbian: oh my god thank you so much Liz, actual life saver

Full homo: I'm going to Caltech!!!! I'm super excited!!!!

Thwip Thwip: what no way!!!! How come you didn't tell me earlier?!?!

Full homo: babe you've been out on an Avengers mission for the past week with limited contact

Thwip Thwip: that's fair

Rip Gene may he rest in peace: do you know where you’re going Peter?

Thwip Thwip: I got accepted to MIT

Distinguished Bi: ah, following in your father’s footsteps

Thwip Thwip: yeah I guess I am!

Functional Lesbian: I love how he doesn't deny it anymore

Thwip Thwip: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

FUCK YOU MJ: Columbia University here

Raw me Sasuke: same!!!

Rip Gene may he rest in peace: gonna be honest and say I expected flash to go for a further away university

FUCK YOU MJ: eh since mom got that divorce from dad I figured I should stay nearby so I could help her out

Mmm Whatcha J: I think that's the nicest thing I've ever heard of you doing

Mmm Whatcha J: are you really flash, not some parasite taking over your body??

Distinguished Bi: Is ur mom ok with that??

FUCK YOU MJ: Columbia was my top pick anyways so she couldn't argue that hard about it

FUCK YOU MJ: plus like, a lot of the shit that's happened since we got here??? It changes ur perspective

FUCK YOU MJ: and uhhhhhhhhhhh

Mmm Whatcha J: uhhhhhhhhhhh?

FUCK YOU MJ: I think I'm gonna start going by Gene or smth, flash really is a stupid fucking name, fresh start I fucking guess

Full Homo:

Growth

 


 

Scott-Man ( @scottlang_actual_antman )

I literally cannot be any further on top of the world right now, I have now lived my best life, I can die happy now

 

@antmanisthestrongestavengerfiteme replied

> What happened?!?!

@scottlang_actual_antman replied

> I love your @, I heavily approve and it is 100% correct the others just won't admit it

@HopeVanDyne replied

> He's happy because he tapped America’s ass

@avengersASSemble replied

> Who/what's america’s ass???

@thwipthwipman replied

>

DiD yOu FuCk Mr AmErIcA sCoTt

@scottlang_actual_antman replied

> :D

@CaptainSteveRogers replied

> It is highly inappropriate to be tweeting about this sort of stuff Scott, especially in regards to this subject.

@youknowwhoiam replied

> Hey no let him tweet it, the world needs the documentation that Cap finally lost his virginity at 100+ years old

@joeyboey replied

> Wait wait wait aRE YOU SAYING THAT ANTMAN HAD SEX WITH CAPTAIN AMERICA

@CaptainAntman4ever replied

> I don't want to say I was right but I was totally right #captainantman #antmerica #avengershipping

@CaptainSteveRogers replied

> What is “Captain Antman/antmerica”?

@thwipthwipman replied

> PLEASE DONT INTRODUCE CAP TO SHIPPING CULTURE

@buckybarnes replied

>What the hell is ‘stucky’?

@thwipthwipman replied

> nO STOP

@theonlylabelonmeisDISASTER replied

>

10 pictures taken before disaster

 


 

[gen z really is the gayest generation huh]

Distinguished Bi: I can't believe we’re graduating soon, it feels way too fast?

Functional Lesbian: going into high school I thought I would absolutely hate almost every minute of it but like

Functional Lesbian: I didn't? These years have simultaneously been the best and scariest years of my life

Raw me Sasuke : oh wow is this sad on main hours?

Distinguished Bi: yep

Thwip Thwip: As the source of-slash-involved in half of the scary things, I apologise.

Functional Lesbian: don't apologise Peter

Thwip Thwip: I am still going to.

Raw me Sasuke: why u typing formal

Full Homo: he's having Karen reply for him

Mmm Whatcha J: he's a self sacrificial idiot he won't listen

Distinguished Bi: oh I heard you got Valedictorian MJ!! Congrats!

Mmm Whatcha J: my speech is going to be very inspirational, just you wait

Full Homo: oh my god she just let me read it it is so good guys

Full Homo: perks to keeping an eye on Peter while patrolling: this and we get to see Peter’s fail compilations live

Mmm Whatcha J: nothing says a good date with one of your partners like laughing your ass off at the other one being a total loser when he decks it straight into a wall

 


 

[Justice League]

Magnet: oh my god Barton, Romanova

Birb: are you all impressed

Bom bom bom green giant: I can certainly say I am… shocked to say the least

Smol-derman: THE INTERNET IS ALREADY BREAKING

Smol-derman: THE LIVE TWEETS WERE HILARIOUS

Smol-derman:

Clintasha 1

Clintasha 2

Clintasha 3

Thunderbolts and Lightning: that was an entertaining watch my friends!! I particularly liked the segment when Agent Hill came on stage!

Moira Hills: I guess me and Nat are the new hot ticket item

Birb: that's exactly what we were going for

Original Spider: I'm glad our mission went off without a hitch, unlike Budapest

Birb: hey Budapest went really well, barely anything went wrong

Original Spider: barely anything ?!

America’s Ass: Will you ever tell us what the hell happened in Budapest?

Thunderbolts and lightning: Mind your language Captain!

Fe: watch your dirty mouth Steve, there are children here

Smol-derman: yeah this is a Christian minecraft server u can't swear here

America’s Ass:

America’s Ass: what the fuck is minecraft

Original Spider: language!

Moira Hills: you said a bad language word!

Snerson: I cannot believe you, Captain Righteous, would swear so vulgarly here there is an infant here

Magnet: how could you Steve?

 


 

[Iron Fam]

Iron Dad: @everyone GET TO THE COMPOUND PEPPERS IN LABOUR

Iron Bider: hoLY SHIT THE BABY’S COMING

xXx~Iron Harlz~xXx: CAN YOU SEND A QUINJET TO TENNESSEE????

I-Ri-on: and to MIT

Grumpy: I've already got one to go pick you two up, it'll be there within an hour

Grumpy: I'm in the car off to get you May and Peter

Iron Aunt: thank you Harold!!!

Iron Sister 1: as I am in space, I cannot make it though I will instruct the Guardians to make a stop to Terra as soon as we can

Iron Dad: we’ll keep you posted Neb

Iron Dad: gotta go, Pep needs me

Iron Bider: aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA

xXx~Iron Harlz~xXx: BIG FUCKING MOOD PETE

///

Tony Stark (@youknowwhoiam)

I'd like to introduce the world to the newest member of the Stark family, Morgan H Stark

[Image]

[image attached of Tony and Pepper, Pepper lying on the bed with baby Morgan in her arms, both of them with weary smiles on their faces]

 

@potatobutwithaGUN replied

> I'm so happy you clearly went with my middle name suggestion :)

@youknowwhoiam replied

> we didn't but you do you Harley

 


 

[gen z is really the gayest generation huh]

Rip Gene mayhe rest in peace: “so you’re graduating. You’ve grown up and you know you've done a lot of stuff but now you have to find a way to make things right for your future. Take it from a person who has been observing you all for four years here…”

Rip Gene may he rest in peace: mj u legend I can't believe you parodied the detention psa

Mmm Whatcha J: they wouldn't let me bring the chair with me but I used the podium as best as I could to do his pose

Thwip Thwip: I laughed at the “so go ahead and eat the rich; Stark, Osborn, you two can decide who goes first” section

Functional Lesbian: the speech was top tier content, I want it on my gravestone

FUCK YOU MJ: it'll arrive tomorrow

Functional Lesbian: SHOULD I FEAR FOR MY LIFE???

Distinguished Bi: I'll protect u <3

Functional Lesbian: thank you <3

Raw me Sasuke: you perfectly balanced a serious/heartwarming and so many memes

Raw me Sasuke: stunning

Full Homo: my moms were so confused over half the memes they were asking me afterwards because I was losing my entire shit

Lizzy Maguire: congratulations!!! You are all now out of school and into adult life!!!

Lizzy Maguire: be ready

FUCK YOU MJ: now I fear for my life

Lizzy Maguire: that's adulthood

Distinguished Bi: I cant believe we don't need this chat anymore, we don't have the team now :((

Full Homo: this chat ain't getting deleted

Mmm Whatcha J: @everyone I've managed to organise a dinner for us, last one as a team. You better all turn up or I'll eviscerate you

Lizzy Maguire: have fun guys!

[9 people logged off!]