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it's dark but i'm used to it now

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We broke up.

I initiated it.

I felt better after we did, happier even, if I were to say. I had always been insecure of myself, finding faults and flaws-one of the reasons why I broke up with her. Both of us deserved better, I decided, and ended it. I felt my feelings slowly fade as the days pass, but then she texts me and crashes my whole world again.

It's almost midnight and I'm in bed when my phone dings, the notification popping up showing a message from "Bora". I stared, remembering the times where I saved her as cheesy names, ones that would make you cringe even by the thought of it, before the notification vanishes.

I tap on it reluctantly, the messages flooding in.

"I'm sorry, please.. you know I love you Siyeon-ah."

"I can't stop thinking of you."

"I can't forget."

 

lies... all of them were lies.
devoid of emotion.

 

I typed a quick reply, asking her to stop texting me in fear that I would let myself feel again...

 

that i would let my walls crack again.

 

She apologised, once, twice, talking about a mistake she did, that she shared her body with someone...

that was not me.

Continuously saying that her heart... her heart is mine. Only mine. She only feels for me.

 

a mistake...
no hint of remorse.

 

I tried to be mature, assuring her that it's fine and that I really don't mind it because I don't care.

i don't.

She says sorry, again, and again, and again.

"I'll leave you alone now. I'm sorry, I know you don't want me here. Just... bye."

I stare at the reply for the longest time, wanting to say so much, to say something... But I decided against it and switched my phone off, placing it on my bed before I stare at the ceiling, thoughts invading my mind.

Thoughts of empty promises, thoughts of betrayal, thoughts of... pity.

Pity for myself.

 

she was red, I was blue.
she was but the sun to my moon.

now the sun in it's wake shines brightly, illuminating the world.

the sun provides warmth for the moon, but it's temporary. the moon needs the sun to shine
but the sun...

the sun always shines.