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A Magician Never Reveals His Secrets

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SSpencer Reid stared at his wardrobe deep in thought. He was supposed to be meeting up with the rest of the team at a club in an hour, and it would take him 47 minutes to get there, so he really should hurry up. But, the truth was, Dr. Spencer Reid, child prodigy with an IQ of 187 and an eidetic memory, didn't know what to wear.

It wasn't because he didn't have anything to wear. In actual fact, Spencer had a wide variety of clothes to choose from. His real problem was that he hadn't done the washing recently and so all the clothes that SSA Dr. Spencer Reid would wear were currently scattered around his apartment from where he had thrown them off in various stages of consciousness. The only clothes that he had to wear were the ones that Spencer Reid, the extrovert version of himself would wear.

Sighing he pulled on a pair of super skinny jeans and a white t-shirt that had rolled up short sleeves. They were going to a very popular club tonight, for the first time there was a chance that his personal life and his professional life might collide. The clothes certainly didn't help and he suddenly felt very self conscious. However, he didn't have any other options and so Reid shrugged on his vintage leather jacket, grabbed his sunglasses and gave himself a once over in the mirror. Spencer wasn't sure his team would recognise him, but it would have to do. Shoving his keys, wallet and phone into his jacket pocket, he mentally prepared himself for the onslaught of questions from his team.


Exactly 47 minutes later, Spencer Reid was stood outside the most popular club in Virginia. He had his hands shoved into his jeans pockets and was casually slouched against the wall as he waited for the queue for the club to move. He wondered if Rae was on duty tonight, if so there was no point in standing around in the line. He was practically a VIP at this place. Leaning forward slightly he glanced at the bouncers on duty and spotted Rae almost immediately. Mentally cheering he pushed off from the wall and ducked under the red rope that was penning the line of people to one side of the side walk.

"What's up man" Reid shouted once he was slightly closer to the enormous man. Without a doubt this man could beat Morgan in a fight, he was all muscles with tattoos covering his bulging biceps.

"Yo Spence, how you been?"

"Not bad, not bad, you?"

Rae chuckled "I've been good mate, you heading in?"

"Yeah" Rae waved Spencer through "I'll see you later Rae" he called over his shoulder as he entered the pounding club.

The atmosphere inside was intense, even for this place. There were tables towards the back of the room, and in between them and the entrance was the massive dance floor. The floor was teaming with drunk men and women all grinding against one another and jumping around like there was no tomorrow. The bar was up against the right wall, and the DJ stage was against the left wall. The lights were a mixture of reds, yellows, blues and pinks. Two spotlights swept across the crowd. People were yelling and cheering but the words were drowned out by the music. There were no words, just a beat and a crazy bass line. Spencer found himself smiling, this was his kind of scene. Removing his sunglasses he went to find the others.


JJ, Hotch, Garcia, Emily and Rossi were currently seated around a table right in the corner. The lighting over the table was dim, and the noise was very loud but they all seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Morgan walked over clutching a large amount of drinks to his chest. Upon setting them down in front of their owners, he perched in his own chair.

"Anyone seen Reid?" he called to the others, despite being in close proximity to his fellow BAU members, anything less than a shout couldn't be heard.

"Are you sure he's even coming?" Emily asked sceptically, raising one perfectly manicured eyebrow.

"Yeah this isn't really Spence's favourite kind of place to hang out" JJ added

"Don't be so hard on the kid" Rossi interjected "not everyone wants to get incredibly drunk"

"I wouldn't be so sure he's not going to turn up" Hotch said looking over Morgan's shoulder and out towards the dance floor.


Spencer was expertly weaving himself through the massive crowd, if he knew his friends then they would be sitting at a table furthest away from the mass of bodies currently gyrating to the latest remix of some song that was bound to be in the charts. They would want privacy, where they could discuss anything without getting interrupted and where they were able to see the rest of the room without moving.

A girl suddenly grabbed him by the shoulder. She had long blonde hair, blue eyes and a dress that didn't leave anything to the imagination. The girl pulled him closer, she would be considered pretty but was wearing too much make up for Spencer's taste.
"Wanna show me a good time" she whispered, or rather slurred, into his ear.

"Maybe later" he said politely, whilst removing her hand and giving her a playful wink. She was still pretty, too much make up or not.

Continuing to push through the crowd on the way to the back of the room, he got stopped numerous times, and had collected twelve phone numbers on scrap pieces of paper that were now safely in his pocket. He might keep them, or maybe show them off to Morgan. That would surprise him.

Speaking of the rest of the team, he could spot them at the table right where he thought they would be seated. Inwardly the young genius celebrated his minor victory. He always liked to be right.

They appeared to be discussing something, but he managed to catch Hotch's eye. He walked more purposefully towards them, suddenly they all turned around and looked straight at him.

Spencer quirked his mouth into a lopsided grin and gave a half wave to the his work colleagues. He had never seen the members of the BAU look so shocked in his entire time with them. Emily's mouth was wide open, Morgan was not-so-subtly choking on his drink, Rossi's eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his head, Hotch was grinning (scary in itself) and Garcia was having a full on meltdown.

"OMG MY BABY GENIUS LOOKING ALL GROWN UP, WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? WHY DON'T YOU DRESS LIKE THIS EVERYDAY!" she squealed, jumping out of her chair and rushing towards Spencer.

"Hi to you to" he smiled more confidently.

"What on earth happened to you man" Morgan balked, unable to believe his own eyes.

"Nothing happened, I've always been like this but I decided that I was going to be more professional and act like a real child prodigy when I started at the BAU. But I couldn't not have a social life" Dr. Spencer Reid grinned at his friends before producing the bundle of small slips of paper on them.

"Looks like I could give you a run for your money" Reid laughed, putting the numbers in front of Morgan.

"No way, you got all of these? When??"

"Just now when I was walking through the crowd"

Derek Morgan, notorious lady's man, was too shocked for words.

Emily on the other hand, was having a field day.

"Oh Derek, Spence is without a doubt now the BAU's top player."

With this, JJ spoke up,

"I suggest we give Morgan a fair chance, anyone up for a healthy competition?"

Hotch, being the natural leader of the group set the rules; "You get 5 points for a dance, 10 points for a phone number and 20 points for a kiss. You have 4 hours. We don't want to know about anything further than a kiss, keep in it PG please" Hotch finished with a grin.

"On your marks" Garcia began and Derek stood up from the table, "get set, GO" Garcia finished and both men sauntered off in different directions, Morgan towards the dance floor and Spencer towards the bar.

"Who do you think will win?" Rossi asked the now silent group.

"I have absolutely no idea, I don't understand how we could have gotten Spencer so wrong" Prentiss stated, at a loss at how she had managed to miss this whole side of Reid's personality.

"I think my chocolate God is going to win this, sorry to the junior G-man but Morgan is the player of all players. It is who he is." Garcia said and the rest of the group nodded, all except for Aaron.

Hotch, who had been mainly silent throughout all this spoke up, "I think we shouldn't be so quick to dismiss Reid, he appears to be very confident here, this is a whole other side that we have never seen before and it appears that there is a lot we don't know about him."

The BAU members fell silent and began to watch the scenes unfolding before them, and guess who was going to win.


Morgan had started dancing straight away and was somehow dancing with three girls at once. The music controlling his moves as he felt the women grind against him. In his head he counted his points, he was in his element. Although Spencer's other side had come as a shock, Derek Morgan had been doing this his whole life. Whispering something to the woman directly in front of him, she spun around and they began to kiss. He was already on 35 points.


Spencer Reid had taken a very different approach to the competition and went to get himself a drink. Giving the bartender the money for the rum and coke along with a generous tip, he turned around. Directly behind him were five woman all eyeing him up and pushing their chests out suggestively. They approached the young doctor like a lion stalking its prey, except the prey wasn't so helpless this time. Spencer began to talk to the woman and pretty soon had all five phone numbers and a kiss from two of the girls. This was going to be easy.

--- 4 hours later ---

It was closing time in the club, Spencer was still leant against the bar, a crowd of around 50 people were surrounding him. Men and women were hanging off his every word as he told a short story that had the whole group roaring with laughter. Every single person within that group had given him their phone numbers and they all seemed to be under his spell as he easily chatted away.

Morgan on the other hand, was still on the dance floor. He was sweaty and his legs were starting to ache but he was enjoying himself too much. The women were clinging to him and it took all his will power to move from one to the other without staying with one woman all night. He was definitely going to use some of the numbers he had been given later.

After everyone had been kicked out of the club, the BAU unit gathered at the end of the street.

"Ok so which one of my boys won" Garcia giggled, obviously as excited for the results of the tournament as the rest of the team were. Before either men could say anything about their exploits from that evening, Hotch began to talk.

"Don't say either of your results yet, if you hear the other person's score before you state your own then they could easily change their score. Tell me separately and I'll announce the winner."

Emily who was drunkenly clutching a street lamp, rolled her eyes. She highly doubted the either Morgan or Reid would lie, however the action of rolling her eyes caused her to sway more violently and almost fall off of her heels. Emily Prentiss was probably not in the best position to say anything.

After both Spencer and Morgan had gone slightly away from the rest of the group to tell Hotch their scores, the group was waiting in nervous anticipation.

"Ok, well I would like to say that this was a close call" Hotch began and, although clearly holding himself better than some of his other team members, was incredibly drunk.

"However, it wasn't, and our winner for this evening was..."

The was a moment of silence. The suspense was almost too much and Garcia let out an impatient squeak.

"Dr. Spencer Reid with a score of 305!"

There was an audible gasp and JJ was the first to speak,

"How did you manage that, how could anyone manage to flirt with that many people in only four hours"

Spencer smirked, clearly enjoying the moment,

"A magician never reveals his secrets"

"You may have won this round kid" Morgan grimaced, "but I want a rematch"

And with that the group began to stagger towards wherever home was, each person pondering the new side of their resident genius. All except for the genius who was busy dialling one of the numbers he had been given.