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Modest Lust

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The last few months had been more than Jane could have ever asked for, the detective reflected as she sat staring at her computer screen. Sure, there had been a few bumps along the road as Jane and Maura navigated what it was like to work together, the doctor proving to have very specific methods when it came to how she conducted her crime scenes.

The first scene they had worked together had left the couple very heated for all the wrong reasons. The doctor had not appreciated Jane's cavalier attitude toward guessing, and the detective had not appreciated the way the doctor would not call an obvious murder for what it was. A spirited argument had ensued and it took Korsak stepping in to separate the two women, who had been almost chest to chest, shouting at each other.

Luckily for both of them, that heat had translated quite well into passion, and they had worked out all their earlier frustrations with each other over an athletic evening of sex at Maura's that involved more broken glasses and a bit of blood. Jane had teased Maura by saying, "Are you sure that's blood, doctor? It could just be a reddish-brown stain?" That had earned Jane a well deserved spanking that she had enjoyed just a little too much.

Eventually, the couple had found their rhythm, and the close rate that Jane had boasted before almost doubled now that she had a more than competent ME to assist her rather than hinder her. All in all, things were great. Well, except for one thing.

Despite their early declarations of love and frequent, almost nonstop, time spent with each other, things were actually moving quite slow between the two women. Maura had not wanted to tell anyone about their relationship, wanting to establish herself first at the precinct before they knew she was dating Jane. And that right there, the label Maura had used for them, was another point of contention for the detective.

Maura always said they were dating. She never called Jane her girlfriend or partner or anything else that would signify that their love was something more than causal. It haunted Jane since she had never said I love you to any of the people she had previously dated. She had meant what she said to her doctor about Maura being the only person she had ever loved. For Maura to not want to put a label on things was triggering all of Jane's insecurities. However, the detective, who was usually so brazen in all aspects of her life, could not bring herself to address this with her love.

That was why three months after Maura had become the new Chief ME, Jane found herself sulking at her desk. She knew she was being petty, considering that Maura told her, all the time when they were alone, that she loved her and showed her in countless ways and orgasms. Jane had never been so physically fulfilled before in a relationship and she knew it had to do with the depth of the feelings the women shared for each other. That was part of why Jane was so frustrated. Jane wanted to declare to the world that the incredible woman that was Doctor Maura Isles was hers and hers alone.

Part of what had triggered Jane that day was hearing Detective Darren Crowe being the misogynist pig that he always was. However, this time the focus of his disgusting comments was the woman who took up all of her mind that wasn't used to solve cases.

"I mean, she may be a cold fish with that personality," he had stated making a stank face, "but have you seen that body in those dresses? My god, all I want to do is-". Jane hadn't stuck around to let him finish, storming out of the squad room before she decked the bastard. Korsak had followed her out and led her down the stairs to the cafe. He was the only one who had an inkling about what was going on between Jane and the doctor but he was allowing Jane her space, and for that, she was very grateful.

"Jane, you know he's an idiot. Don't let em get to you," he had whispered to her while they waited in line for coffee that was only slightly better than what they brewed upstairs in their breakroom. Jane let out a deflated breath, trying to ease the tension that had settled in her neck and shoulders.

"Yeah, I know, Vince. I just hate the way people talk about her," Jane rasped out, trying to hide her emotions in her place of work. She needed to keep her tough guy image, but it was hard whenever Maura was the subject of conversation.

"I get that. Maybe you should bring her down to the Robber for a few drinks, let the guys see what's she like out of the office." Jane thought over her partner's suggestion. It would be good for them to get out of the house. The couple spent most of their time over at Maura's, eating, watching TV, and fucking each other's brains out. Jane smiled to herself at the last thought. Yeah, that was amazing.

The smile slipped off her face, though, as she thought about what Vince had said more. Jane was tired of feeling like a secret. Why should they have to hide their relationship, let alone their love? At that moment, Jane resolved to talk to Maura about making a public appearance soon.


The couple was lounging on Maura's couch later that night, having just finished a nice home cooked meal that the doctor had made for them, as a celebration for closing another case. It had been delicious, as Maura's cooking always was, and now the two women were just lazing around, enjoying each other's company as they digested their meal. It was Maura who broke the comfortable silence.

"Jane, how was your day?" Maura asked from where she was nestled against Jane's side, her blonde waves tickling Jane's nose.

"Ugh, it was ok," came Jane's short reply, not wanting to get into what Crowe had said. She knew what Maura would tell her and the detective just didn't want to hear it at this moment.

"Just ok? We closed our twenty-fourth case together. I would have thought you would be overjoyed." When Jane just grunted, Maura sat up to look at Jane more critically. Jane tried to look unaffected, but she knew how well her emotions were displayed across her face, as if it were a marquee.

Maura's eyes softened as she brought her hands up to caress Jane's face. "Baby, what's wrong?" The pet name almost melted Jane, her doctor using it so infrequently that it always caused butterflies to stir within Jane when she heard it.

Jane turned to finally look at her love, and, seeing how sincere and loving she looked, decided to bring up the tough subject that had been weighing on her.

"Crowe said some stuff about you today, well not just today but, yeah, I wanted to react, but since no one knows about us, I just had to take it." Jane watched as the doctor worked through what she had just said. She saw the hurt flash behind those enthralling hazel eyes before it was replaced with sadness.

"What kind of stuff?" the doctor asked in a very small voice, causing Jane to feel like a monster for even having brought this up, especially when they were having such a pleasant evening.

"Oh, just his typical sexist bullshit. But, when he says those things about you, I want to rip his face off," Jane growled out. She saw Maura's eyes constrict at her tone before they returned to their full hazel glory.

"Jane, dear, you know I do not advocate violence. I am sure you could say something to him and report him to your lieutenant instead, and that would be much more effective." Maura was always so reasonable and tried to give people the benefit of the doubt. It was one of the many things that Jane loved about her doctor, but also something that they would agree to disagree about.

"No, Maur, I have said things to him before, when I first started in homicide, and I have reported him. It does no good and he just comes back after his "sensitivity" training a bigger prick than before!" Jane was getting worked up again and couldn't sit still any longer. She hopped up off the couch and began to pace the length of the living room.

"It's just not right, Maur. I'm the only one that gets to see the soft, gentle side of you." When Maura looked at her like she was going to protest, Jane hurried on. "Don't get me wrong, babe, I love that I get that side. I really do, but people at work think you are some sort of machine!" Jane was flailing her arms around in a fashion true to her Italian heritage.

"Jane, I do not care what they think. At work, I am the professional I need to be to represent the governor's office and the trust he has bestowed upon me to represent the state in this role. It would not do anyone any good for me to show our colleagues what I am like when I am with you." Maura was so pragmatic in her speech, it made Jane feel all the more irrational.

"But, Maur, they call you the Queen of the Dead!" Jane almost yelled out in exasperation. She watched as Maura's eyes bugged out at the volume of her statement and the nickname she had garnered. Her professional mask dropped then, and she bit her lip. Jane watched as her love tried to hold back tears. Jane rushed back over to the couch and knelt before her doctor, taking her hands into her own.

"Maur, I know you aren't any of those things. I just want other people to know as well. I mean, if I can't tell them because I'm your girlfriend, then I would at least hope you would show them and try to be their friend." Maura looked up at her now, watery eyes gazing at her in confusion.

"G-G-Girlfriend?" was the stuttered question that came from her befuddled doctor. Jane wanted to slap her forehead at her slip up. God, this whole situation was so infuriating. Jane almost started to apologize, but after the day she'd had, the detective had had enough.

"Yeah, I know you hate labels, or whatever, but god dammit Maur, I'm your fucking girlfriend and I hate that you don't want anyone else to know that, let alone me!" Jane got up from the floor and made her way to the front door, grabbing her keys and badge off the table. She opened the door and looked back for a brief moment, seeing the bewilderment on her love's face.

"I love you, Maura, but I won't be a secret anymore. Call me when you figure out what you want." With that, Jane closed the door softly behind her, struggling to keep the tears that were threatening to fall at bay so that she could drive back home to her lonely apartment.


The next day was tense for Jane. Maura hadn't called her at all the previous night as she had hoped, and it seemed like the doctor was avoiding her today. Jane felt a little guilty about what had transpired the night before but not enough to apologize. She knew she was in the right, maybe not in how she had told Maura how she was feeling, but in the feelings themselves.

When she hadn't heard from Maura by the end of the work day, Jane decided to accept the invitation from Korsak to meet up with the guys at the Dirty Robber, the cop bar close to the precinct. It had been months since Jane had attended, as she had been spending all her free time with Maura. Korsak had even stopped asking her to come, sensing what was suddenly taking up so much of Jane's time. He must have sensed that Jane needed the distraction today and had extended the invitation. The old guy really was a great partner and friend.

Jane was a burger and fries and two beers in when she felt a shift in the air behind her. The bar seemed to suddenly get quieter too, which only made her more aware of who had entered the room. She didn't turn around until she heard the soft clearing of a throat at her side. When the detective did look toward the sound, those hazel eyes that would always ensnare her captured her once again.

"Detectives Rizzoli, Korsak, I was told I could find you here." When neither spoke immediately, the doctor licked her lips nervously, an action Jane couldn't help but follow with her eyes, and asked a little more hesitantly, "may I join you?"

Vince looked over to Jane with big eyes and gave an almost imperceptible shrug, letting Jane know it was up to her. Glancing at Maura out of the corner of her eye, she saw how anxious the doctor was getting and decided to take pity on her.

"Sure, why not?" she said. Jane started to scoot over in the booth they were sitting in, but Vince got up surprisingly fast and offered Maura his seat.

"Please Doctor Isles, have a seat. What can I get you? It was my turn to buy the round." Jane looked at him curiously, knowing full well that they had each been buying their own drinks all night.

"Oh, well thank you, Detective Korsak, that is very kind. I will take whatever red wine they have." Now Jane knew her doctor was beyond nervous, the smaller woman having very exacting tastes in wine. Korsak seemed to think this was odd too but turned to head to the bar nonetheless. The women sat in an uncomfortable silence for several moments before Maura finally spoke.

"You," came the single worded statement. Jane looked up from where she had been idly playing with the last of her fries. She felt like she had come in at the tail end of a conversation. Jane quirked an eyebrow at Maura, asking the smaller woman to explain.

"You asked me what I wanted. I am telling you: you. I want you, Jane." Her normally stiff and upright posture melted, the doctor slumping onto the table as if under a heavy weight.

"I am sorry if I made you feel like a secret. That was never my intention, Jane. It is just that, after Ian," Maura paused, trying to judge what saying that name would do to Jane. Jane felt her blood boil briefly but then managed to rein in her anger towards the man who had had Maura's time, attention, and body.

Maura tried again, "After my last relationship that developed in the workplace, I have tried to keep those two parts of my life separate. It was for self preservation purposes and I never realized how much it would hurt you. Jane, I never want to hurt you." She reached tentatively across the table, as if to touch Jane, but before she reached Jane's arm, the doctor withdrew her hand. Jane immediately missed the warmth that she knew the appendage contained.

Before Jane could comment on anything the doctor had said, Korsak arrived back to the booth with a handful of drinks. He placed a beer and a glass of red wine down on the table before starting to make his way toward the back of the bar.

"Vince, where're you going?" Jane asked, not understanding what was happening. Korsak looked at her like she was stupid and just cast his eyes between the doctor and Jane.

"An old buddy of mine from the academy is in the back and I thought I'd catch up for a bit." He looked pointedly at Jane. "I think you two will be fine without me." He didn't wait for a response before he turned and left the two women alone again.

Jane took the fresh beer and delicately scooted the full glass of wine over to her doctor. Maura gave her an appreciative smile before she cautiously brought the glass to her full lips for a small sip. Her face lit up at the taste and she took a larger sip, humming to herself as she put the glass down. Jane couldn't help smiling in amusement at the smaller woman.

"This is surprisingly good. I would not have thought that this "cop bar" would have such a fine vintage here." Jane now smiled fully at her doctor. The woman could be so pretentious and adorable at the same time.

"Yeah, you know us cops, just a bunch of brutes," Jane teased as she took a pull of her beer. To make her point, she pushed out a loud belch, before looking at Maura challengingly. Maura had the sense to blush at her words, but that didn't stop her from admonishing Jane for her manners.

"Jane, I never said such a thing despite your recent comportment." Now she reached out with confidence and wrapped her delicate fingers around Jane's wrist.

"Besides, I would hope by now you know just how much I love your brutishness in certain, more intimate settings." Her last words oozed with sensuality and Jane almost spit out the sip of beer she had just taken.

After recovering from the near spit take, Jane fixed Maura with a stern look. She shook her head when the woman looked back at her coquettishly. "Jesus, woman, you go from one extreme to the other, I swear." Maura laughed at this and squeezed Jane's wrist affectionately before she let go and brought the glass of wine to her lips for another taste.

"Well, Jane, we have never been in a place where we could be outwardly demonstrative until now, and we have yet to bring our relationship out into the public." Maura narrowed her eyes, before she continued in a tone that made Jane instantly wet, "baby, you have no idea just what I am capable of." Jane wanted to jump her lover right then and there but only just remembered where they were.

"Maur, don't tease," Jane's gravelly voice growled out as she clenched her thighs together, causing a delicious friction in her pants. She was so horny, having gotten used to regular, daily sex with the heavenly creature who was just sitting out of reach. Before Maura could respond, they were interrupted by a loud, obnoxious voice.

"Well, if it isn't the queen of the dead and her dyke friend." Jane growled for different reasons now as she turned to look at the smug face of Detective Darren Crowe. Jane imagined herself punching that smirk right off the man's face and her hands clenched into fists at the thought.

"Oh, how original of you, Detective. I am sure you are merely compensating for the micropenis that clearly sits sadly in your pants. It is a shame that all your infinitesimal brain could come up with as a way to demean two powerful, intelligent women was that derivative drivel." Maura finished her statement with a sad glance down at his pants, nodding as if confirming her statement.

Both Crowe and Jane were left speechless, although Jane was sure that she had just fallen in love with her doctor a little more. Crowe stood there looking like a fish out of water for a few more seconds, his mouth working without so much as a sound, before he turned and stalked away. Apparently his miniscule brain couldn't think of a retort to Maura's thorough dressing down.

Jane was so proud of her love. "See, this is why you should come out more often! The look on Crowe's face was priceless!" Jane cheered. Oh, Maura may have just made herself a legend with that burn, Jane was sure it would get around the bar quickly enough.

Maura sipped her wine again before replying with all the class that her upbringing provided. "As I stated last night Jane, one does not need to resort to violence in order to harm someone else. A few well crafted words can more than do the job." She smiled then, that full dimpled smile that meant she was especially pleased with herself and all Jane wanted to do was kiss her.

It must have shown on her face because Maura looked at her coyly and said, "do it. I have missed your lips, Jane." That was all the encouragement the detective needed.

Jane slid out of her side of the booth and extended her hand to Maura. The smaller woman instantly took it and Jane used her strength to pull the woman out of the booth and right into her arms. She wasted no time claiming the lips of the woman she never wanted to live without, making sure the kiss was soft, yet leaving no question that she was claiming this woman as her own. Maura responded immediately and soon the two women were lost in each other, their kiss saying all that needed to be said about what they meant to one another.

The women were only brought back to their surroundings when a few wolf whistles finally reached their ears. They broke their kiss and looked around in a daze. Seeing several cops looking at them with shiteating grins made Jane realize the display they had just put on. She started to flush in embarrassment. That was until Maura's strong voice rang out in the quieted bar.

"Now that we have your attention, I would like to formally state that Detective Jane Rizzoli is my girlfriend, whom I love with my entire being. She is mine and I am hers." All the men in the bar just looked back at her as if she had two heads. Maura nodded, and said just as loudly, "as you were." She slipped her arms around Jane's neck and brought her lips up to meet Jane's, which were parted in shock at what Maura had just done.

"Have I made my intentions clear enough for you?" Maura whispered against her lips. Jane was too shell shocked to respond so she just nodded her head. Maura smiled and kissed her deeply. After several seconds, she pulled back, and sought out Jane's eyes.

"Move in with me Jane." Jane was gaping again. "After last night, I never want to sleep without you again. It was pure torture. I love you, I want you, and I need you. So please, move in with me."

Jane was overwhelmed. Within 24 hours, Maura had gone from wanting to hide everything to going for broke. It was taking Jane a few moments to catch up. When she finally processed everything that that had just happened, a big smile made its way across her face. Maura mirrored it as she brought her lips to Jane's again.

"Really, woman, you don't do anything by halves, do you?" Jane said in awe when they had to come up for air. Maura laughed that melodic sound that meant she was full of joy and Jane knew she wanted to hear that for the rest of her life.

"Detective, you surely know me better than that," Maura teased. Jane snorted and pushed the smaller woman away. Maura looked at her in disbelief before Jane took out her wallet and left several bills on the table. She grabbed her girlfriend's hand and pulled the smaller woman to her.

"Let's say you and me go home. I think we have some make up sex waiting for us there," Jane said in her best sexy voice, letting her voice drop an octave in just the way she knew Maura liked. She was rewarded with Maura's eyes dilating into black pools of desire.

Placing her other hand in the small of her doctor's back, Jane began to guide them out of the bar. She heard a lot of "way to go Rizzoli"s on the trek out and couldn't help but feel both proud and embarrassed, but mostly proud. When they got outside, Maura looked up at her with loving eyes.

"Now I see why you did not want to hide. I am so proud to be your girlfriend, Jane." Maura reached up to kiss Jane chastely before pulling the taller woman to her car. "Now, about that make up sex…"

Jane barked out a laugh. So this is what it felt like to be blissfully in love. She could get used to this.