Kaminari grinned, rubbing his hands together. “Alright, since the girls are out shopping, now we can finally get to the most important topic: Who is the best girl?”
The boys of Class 1-A let out a collective groan; Kaminari had suggested that while the girls had a “girls’ day out,” they should have a “boys’ day in,” so now all of them (except Iida) were sitting in the common room with chips and soda, looking very bored.
“There is no “best girl,” this isn’t a fucking anime, Sparky,” Bakugou snapped from his place on the couch. Kaminari made a face at him.
“Yeah, well no one asked you, Lord Explosion Murder!” he shot back, turning around to face Mineta instead. “I already know who your pick is, buddy: Yao-Momo, right?” The diminutive purple-haired boy gave him a thumbs-up.
“You bet!” he replied. “But someone else already called dibs on her.” He jerked his head in Todoroki’s direction, causing the heterochromatic-haired boy to glance up from his phone.
“What?” he asked. Kaminari smirked.
“We were just talking about how you and Yao-Momo have been spending a lot of time together recently…” he explained, winking. Todoroki blinked at him.
“Yes, I don’t see what’s so interesting about that, though; she is my classmate, of course we spend a lot of time together,” he replied flatly. Kaminari facepalmed.
“Dude, you are so oblivious!” he sighed, exasperated. “What about you, Midoriya?” The green-haired boy’s face turned bright red and he began gesturing nervously.
“Well, you see, ah, I think, that is, I don’t, maybe we shouldn’t-!” he started.
“He likes Uraraka, obviously,” Bakugou interrupted, causing Midoriya to turn even redder. Kaminari glared at the blonde.
“Why are you still here if you obviously don’t care about the game?” he asked. Bakugou shrugged.
“The gym’s still under repairs after the “incident” last week, so I figured I might as well watch you losers make fools of yourselves,” he drawled. Kaminari folded his arms.
“Okay, then since you’re here, why don’t you tell us who you think the best girl is?” he asked.
“Fuck off, I’m not playing your stupid game,” Bakugou spat. Kaminari was about to say something back when an idea popped into his head, so instead he smirked and turned away from the blonde.
“It’s okay if you’re too chicken to say anything, we won’t think any less of you,” he taunted. Bakugou’s hands shook with rage.
“Alright, fine!” he seethed, then paused, as if thinking very carefully. “Does it have to be a girl in our class?” Kaminari grinned.
“Not at all!” he responded. “Do you have someone in mind?” Bakugou didn’t answer, his cheeks turning slightly pink as he took a long sip of his soda. Finally, he set down his can and opened his mouth.
“I like the chick with the blood Quirk and the knives; looks like she’d be a good kisser,” he remarked. Sero struggled to keep from spitting out his drink, while Midoriya turned white and even Todoroki glanced up from his phone again to make sure he had heard correctly. The only person who didn’t look surprised was Kirishima, who just rolled his eyes. Finally, everyone calmed down enough to start putting their thoughts into words.
“One, I can’t believe you of all people have actually thought about kissing a girl,” Kaminari sputtered, “and two, she’s a villain who enjoys stabbing people and collecting their blood, plus she helped kidnap you!” Bakugou just shrugged again.
“She’s eccentric, so what? I like that,” he replied calmly.
“Eccentric? She’s dangerous is what she is!” Kaminari screeched. “Dangerous, dangerous, dangerous!” Bakugou scoffed.
“I though you of all people would agree with me, Sparky; you’ll hit on just about anything that moves.” Kaminari shook his head vigorously, holding his hands up in front of him.
“No no no, I like girls with self-control, and she… she doesn’t have any!” he cried. Bakugou stared at him.
“Having no self-control is a bad thing?” he asked.
“Definitely,” Midoriya replied, his face darkening. Kaminari pointed over his shoulder at the green-haired boy.
“Besides, she has a thing for Midoriya anyway!” he pointed out. Bakugou glared daggers at his rival, causing him to shrink back fearfully.
“Fuck that,” he spat. “I’d be a way better boyfriend for her than Deku.” This time Sero really did spit out his drink, right onto Tokoyami, who reached for a towel and started wiping the soda from his feathers while Dark Shadow pointed and laughed.
“So wait, you would actually want to be in a relationship with her? Are you insane?!” Kaminari yelled. “How would that even work? She could try to kill you at any minute!” Midoriya frowned, his brow furrowing.
“Maybe… Maybe what Kacchan means is it would be like a haunted house! You never know what’s going to be around the corner, so your heart’s always racing!” he suggested. Bakugou looked like he was about to snap at his rival, but quickly gave up and sighed.
“Yeah, what Deku said; it’s like I’d always be tied up on the edge of a tall building and I don’t know when she’s going to push me and I’m begging her “no, please don’t kill me!” he cried in a mock frightened voice, squirming in his seat.
“Wow, I had no idea you were into bondage, Bakugou!” Sero quipped. Bakugou threw his empty soda can at the plain-faced boy, who easily dodged it. There was a long silence as the group thought about what they had just learned about Bakugou, but eventually the silence was broken by the blonde himself.
“I bet she’d kiss me if I brought her Deku,” he mused, causing the boy in question to stare at him in shock and horror.
“Y-you wouldn’t, Kacchan!” Midoriya cried. Bakugou leaned forward, his expression shifting to a creepy smile.
“I would do anything for a kiss from her…” he whispered. “Anything…” Midoriya stood up shakily.
“I-I just remembered, I have to… study for a test tomorrow! Bye!” he chirped, and with that he dashed up the stairs. Bakugou and Kirishima exchanged a grin, which Kaminari picked up on.
“Oh, I get it!” he exclaimed, startling the two of them. “This was all just a prank to get Midoriya to leave! Good one, Bakugou!” Bakugou frowned slightly.
“Yeah, it was… just a prank…” he muttered. He thought back to the idea of Toga tying him up and shivered. God, he wanted to be kidnapped again…