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Heaven Loops

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“What’s Heaven like?” Chloe asked, looking into the deep brown eyes she had come to love.

Chloe’s hair had changed from the golden blonde to white. Her green eyes held the wisdom of a long life lived.

Lucifer looked down at her. She was weak, and her time was running short, she could feel it in her bones. She was laying against him, his arms wrapped around her, and his cheek laying on her head. Over the last few weeks, she struggled to get out of bed and do anything other than sleep or sit up, and she knew that this was going to be their last conversation. This would be one of the last times to look into his face and she wanted to remember everything. The way his hair still looked perfectly coifed, the smell of his cologne, the feel of his strong hands on her face, all of it was something she was going to have to cherish now because before too long, they would be separated for eternity.

They led a good life together. Chloe had become the lieutenant after the disaster of Pierce. She accepted Lucifer for what he was, and even though she had to remind him over and over that she loved him, he still looked at her with the same childlike wonder whenever she told him. He could still make her knees go weak 60 years later.

Lucifer sighed and brushed a white hair out of her face. “It’s terribly dull, I’m afraid.”

Chloe giggled. She had heard him say that before. “You’ve said that. I mean, what am I in for?”

“Do you remember when I told you that there were hell loops?” He was holding her tightly. Not so tight that she couldn’t breathe or move, but tight enough that she could tell he knew what time it was as well.

Chloe nodded.

“There are the same things in heaven. People relive their best moments on earth over and over with the people they love the most.” He was stroking her cheek. “You’ll be filled with contentment, and you’ll never want for anything.”

“So, I’ll see you again then,” Chloe said.

Lucifer smiled, although the curve of his mouth didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yes darling, you’ll see me again.” He placed a firm kiss on her forehead.

Chloe didn’t smile back. Sure, she’d see Lucifer again, but it would only be the memory of him and not really him.

They were on the couch in their penthouse. Chloe laid her head on his chest and looked out into the living room. It was so different than it had been when she first met him. There were bits of their lives staring back at her. Their wedding pictures, pictures of Trixie’s graduation, trinkets they’d collected from various countries they visited. The grand piano looked well used, he had taught her more than just Heart and Soul over the years.

A tear came out of Chloe’s eye and stained Lucifer’s dress shirt. She couldn’t help herself. She’d miss him terribly.

“I love you.” She said and with a light squeeze, Chloe let go.

 

_______

 

There was an overwhelming white light that warmed Chloe from the inside out. It chased away the chill she didn’t realize she had.

When she blinked open her eyes, she was standing in the penthouse. Her brows furrowed, and she looked down, her body no longer aged and wrinkled, but younger and more supple. Her fingers no longer ached with arthritis as she flexed them instinctively. She looked around the empty penthouse and it didn’t look like she remembered it. It was too neat, too clean. There weren’t any pictures of her wedding or of Trixie. She made tentative, quiet steps and seeing that Lucifer wasn’t there, made her way out to the balcony, looking at LA below.

A soft melody started behind her and she whipped around to see Lucifer sitting at his piano, playing Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door. She smiled immediately as she remembered that evening. It was early on in their partnership before they recognized they had feelings for one another, right after Father Frank had died. Lucifer looked so lost. She walked over beside him and put her hand on his back, leaning in and smiled.

“Bit late for a new case, isn’t it Detective?” Lucifer smiled at her.

Chloe’s lips fell a little. This wasn’t really Lucifer. She sat down next to him and brushed her hand along his arm, dying for him to hold her. Yes, this was one of her favorite memories of them, but it wasn’t what she wanted.

“Oh, really?” Lucifer gave a smoldering look at Chloe. She scoffed, realized the loop was only going to continue.

Why could she see that it was fake? Was it because Lucifer had told her as much before she died?

“Do you play?” This Lucifer was still going on and on, without recognizing that she wasn’t participating. Something wasn’t right, she could feel it.

“Come on, play me something,” Lucifer asked.

Chloe’s eyes began to water. This wasn’t Heaven. This was Hell. This was a cheap imitation of the real thing. She shook her head and got up from the stool. She made her way to the elevators because she didn’t know what else to do. She could hear Heart and Soul playing as the doors closed.

When the doors opened at what she thought was the ground floor of Lux, Chloe looked out onto the beach. Lucifer was standing with is back turned to her, staring out into the water. How could she forget this? Their first kiss.

Chloe felt a stab in her heart. As much as she wanted to kiss Lucifer all over again, this wasn’t how she wanted it. She walked out of the elevator into the sand but made a beeline away from the beach, and not to the shore. She saw her old cruiser sitting there and hopped in. She had to figure out a way of getting out of the loop. Lucifer had always said that there were doors to hell loops and that they weren’t even locked. Maybe it was the same for heaven?

Driving down the street, there was normal LA traffic. This must be hell, Chloe thought if traffic still existed. She craned her neck as she went searching for a door or a glowing light or anything that looked off enough for her to investigate.

Why wasn’t she filled with contentment like Lucifer said she would be? And wasn’t she supposed to see all of her family? Her dad, her mom, Linda, Charlotte, or even Dan? Why was she only seeing scenes with Lucifer in them when she was at her happiest?

As the thoughts continued to weigh on her, she heard a voice from that back that made her jerk the wheel.

“I’m not here to help you run errands, I’m here to help you solve a homicide.”

“Really? Jesus Christ!” Chloe screamed from the front seat, groaning in frustration. Chloe rubbed her eyes and thought back to their very first case. Yea, she had been a little frustrated with him that day, but it was the day her world changed. So, it only makes sense that a grumpy devil was in her backseat.

She realized that she hadn’t tried to interact with the illusions yet so asked the question.

“What’s Heaven like, Lucifer?” Chloe glanced in the rearview mirror hoping to see a response. When not even an acknowledgment of her question came from him, she signed heavily. “This has to be Hell.”

After 10 minutes of her silently driving, she glanced back, and he was no longer there.

After driving around for what seemed like forever, Chloe didn’t know where else to go but back to the penthouse. Some version of Lucifer would be there, but it was the only place that she really wanted to be. The sun was setting low and it would be dark soon.

When the elevator doors dinged, she lifted her head to see that the penthouse was empty. She wasn’t sure why a Lucifer wasn’t there but signed in relief.

She made her way to the bedroom, finding one of his many shirts, and pulled it over her head so she could smell him.

She crawled into bed and wept. She felt so alone. There was no one for her. Surely, this must be hell she repeated.

_________ 

 

“The loop isn’t working for her. She doesn’t feel contentment. She feels lost and alone. Why isn’t it working?” Feathers paced back and forth.

“I’m not sure.” A heavenly reply came.

“We have to tell Dad.” Feathers were still pacing back and forth. The angel had his hands on his hips.

Only a nod came in response.

 

__________ 

 

Chloe woke with a start, she could hear words and it took her a moment to recognize the memory.

“…But I’ve come to realize that perhaps bluffing is the same as lying and that’s as you know, something I never want to do.” She could feel his warm hand on her shoulder and fresh tears fell from her eyes. “Especially to you.”

Chloe knew what was going to happen next, but it was one of her favorite memories. She was still tired from the night, day, or whatever before and couldn’t help but give into the dream of it all.

“Hello. Someone’s been busy.” Lucifer stood and opened the safe.

Chloe sat up and watched him.

“Oh, perfect timing, you’ve woken up just in time for your surprise. Forgive my untimeliness, but I thought it prudent to deliver your gift in private.” He handed her the box.

Chloe had tears streaming down her face as she opened the box and looked at the bullet necklace.

“It’s the bullet from when you shot me, remember in the warehouse early in our partnership?” Lucifer smiled at her. “I thought since I’ll likely never penetrate you, I’ll commemorate the one time you penetrated me.” Chloe laughed. It was still funny. “So Happy Birthday Detective.”

He leaned in and hugged her. Chloe took in his warmth, the smell of him, the feel of his muscles under her hands. She squeezed him hard and then he was gone. She was left sitting in bed with the necklace. Too emotional to do much else, she squeezed the pendant in her hand and fell back onto the bed.

 

_________

 

Chloe opened her eyes again sometime later, she didn’t know how long it had been, but she could hear the same words again.

“…But I’ve come to realize that perhaps bluffing is the same as lying….” She droned out the Lucifer. Apparently, if she stayed where she was long enough, the loop would start all over. Maybe she should find a hotel that she’d never been to and sleep there. Was that even possible? Chloe groaned and got out of bed, making her way to the bathroom.

“Oh, perfect timing, you’ve woken up just in time…”

“Oh, shut up,” Chloe grumbled back as she shut the bathroom door.

After a long, hot shower, thankfully there were clean clothes waiting for her. She didn’t know how they got there, but that was the least of her concern at the moment. She walked out into the bedroom, avoiding Bullet Necklace Lucifer and then into the living room, only to see Heaven’s Door Lucifer at the piano. She made her way to the elevator, rolling her eyes, pursing her lips, and shaking her head.

She had to find a way out of this.

It had been years since she was at the precinct. She had retired at the ripe age of 65, but that was still 30 years ago. At least, she thought it was 30 years ago…in earth years. Earth years? Chloe shook her head for the second time today in the elevator. When it opened to the ground floor, she was once again faced with the beach scene. Lucifer’s back to her.

She didn’t even try to engage with him and headed straight for the cruiser.

Halfway to the precinct, Lucifer popped up again in the back. She had been expecting it, and instead of getting herself caught in the moment, she blared the music as loud as she could. She didn’t even look back at him.

Her hair in a tight bun low on her head, Chloe walked through the double doors of the LAPD and made her way to the elevator. She didn’t know if she was going to end up somewhere else by the end of the ride, but she had to check.

The door dinged open and it looked just like she remembered. The energy of the room bustled with cops and lawyers, people being questioned, phones ringing. Chloe smiled a little. She had forgotten what it’s like.

Maybe she spoke too soon.

Lucifer started talking to her. She didn’t have 100% recollection of this memory, but it was a real reminder of the banter they used to enjoy back and forth.

He gave her that devilishly handsome smile and Chloe could almost pretend that this made her happy, almost. She furrowed her brows as Lucifer looked at her.

“Detective? Are you ready to go catch our murderer?” His hands in his pockets, cocky smile on his face, and those eyes. God, she’d kill to just look into those eyes and see real recognition of her.

Chloe walked away from Precinct Lucifer and began to search for any sign of the divine.

With no luck and the day coming to an end she got back in the elevator. She didn’t want to see Bullet Necklace Lucifer again, but she wanted to sleep in that bed. I guess it’s a catch 22, she thought.

She looked for any sign of anything on her way home. She’d even kill for someone to just acknowledge her existence and not in the heaven loop sort of way.

Stuck in her own thoughts, she didn’t even realize how many Lucifers she had walked passed to get to bed.

Closing her eyes, she drifted to sleep, begging, maybe even praying for some relief.

 

_____ 

 

“…But I’ve come to realize that perhaps bluffing is the same as lying….” Chloe groaned. She picked up a pillow and threw it at Bullet Necklace Lucifer. She rolled over and drifted off again.

 

_____

 

She felt the familiar hand on her shoulder and growled. “I told you Lucifer. I’ve told you 100 times. I don’t want that God damned necklace. Go away!” She didn’t know how long she was laying in the bed. It felt like years, but every time she felt that hand, she was forced to listen to him over and over. She couldn’t leave the penthouse though. She was drawn to it, so she suffered through the pain and settled for the warmth of the silk sheets to help ease her suffering.

The hand left her back quickly. “I thought you liked that necklace.”

Chloe jumped and swiveled quickly and stared into those big brown eyes. She put her hands on his face so quickly, it was almost like slapping him.

“Is this you? Is this real? Can you really see me?” She was scrambling like a puppy who hadn’t seen its master in months.

Lucifer stiffened a little and held his hands up to calm her. He was doing a poor job of it because Chloe had fresh tears streaming down her face, she was grabbing all of him.

“Talk to me, please. Let me know you’re real.”

“I’m real, darling. I promise.” His hands covered hers on his chest and he tried to look into her eyes. She wasn’t having any of it. She quickly wrapped her arms around him and with a humph from Lucifer, they ended up on the floor.

“I’ve been so lonely. I’ve been miserable.” She peppered kisses all along his face, grabbing at as much of his as she could. Her hands moved through his hair, ruffling it. Her thighs tightened around his waist. She was only wearing one of his many dress shirts, which helped because it meant she was that much closer to him.

“It’s ok darling. It’ll be ok.” Lucifer had dragged her down on top of him, holding her. She sobbed into his neck. “Shh, I’m here now.” He made a move to get up, but she tightened her grip and he giggled. “Let me just get us to the couch, love.”

She didn’t let go of him. He awkwardly sat up and she wrapped her legs around his waist, her head still buried in his shoulder and her arms tightly wrapped around his neck. With some leverage from the bed, Lucifer managed to stand and holding her under her thighs, he walked to the couch and plopped down.

“Please talk to me.” Chloe muffled out. “Just tell me anything. Respond to me. Please.” She begged and fisted at the back of his suit jacket.

“Well do you want to hear what happened?” Lucifer asked.

Chloe nodded.

“You haven’t been gone for more than a month, you know. I was dead set on going back to hell.”

“I feel like I’ve been here for centuries,” Chloe said.

“Well, time works differently in the heavenly realm.” Lucifer nodded and massaged circles on Chloe’s lower back. Every time he spoke, Chloe relaxed a little more. “I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you more than anything.” For a moment, she was holding him together. He breathed in her scent. He clutched a little tighter to her hips. Chloe could feel his heart break.

“I’ve missed you too. This heaven loop is hell!” Chloe pulled away from Lucifer’s shoulder and smiled sadly at him.

Lucifer scoffed “Yes, I would imagine it is.”

“I’ve been so lonely. I can see you everywhere, but none of it is really you.” Chloe realized that she hadn’t seen another Lucifer this morning and she looked around.

As if reading her mind, he placed a hand on her cheek and she leaned into it “You won’t see them again. The loop has stopped.” He nodded at her.

For the first time, Chloe really looks at Lucifer. There were bags under his eyes. The wrinkled suit and ruffled hair were her fault, but she knew really looking at him that he was just as miserable as she was. She leaned down, put her forehead against his, and sighed. She put her hands on his face and turned her head, kissing lightly over his lips. It was their first kiss all over again. The butterflies in her stomach turned, her head felt light, a warm feeling low in her gut was spreading. She intensified the kiss and Lucifer responded in kind, kneading at her back, a low groan escaping his mouth. It had been years since she felt this good. She had her old strength back and wanted to use it to her advantage. She broke this kiss and gave him a sinful smile. Lucifer cocked an eyebrow and a true smile formed on his face.

“Ever had sex in heaven?” Chloe asked.

“There’s a first time for everything.” Lucifer barely had time to respond before Chloe’s lips were on his again.

 

_______

 

“Raphael came to see me.” He pushed the words out of his mouth with indignation. They were still on the couch. Lucifer sprawled out, Chloe resting on top of him, drawing little circles on his chest, a light afghan draped over their naked, entwined bodies. He was staring at the ceiling. It reminded her of their last moments on earth.

Chloe turned her head and laid her chin on his chest staring up at him, waiting. She knew by now that she needed to wait for him to tell her. She couldn’t push it.

“He said that there was a problem with your heaven loop. He told me you were aware of everything going on and he couldn’t’ fix it. He said you called this place Hell.”  Chloe could see his eyes begin to water. She reached up a hand and touched him.

“I didn’t think I was ever going to see you again.” His lips trembled, and he leaned into her touch, closing his eyes.

Chloe asked the question. “How did you get here?”

Lucifer opened his eyes and looked at her. “I had a little chat with dear old Dad.” His gaze was icy. Chloe stiffened. “apparently, Raphael told Dad about this issue and he insisted that I come back and talk out this, what did he call it? Oh yes, ridiculous childhood temper tantrum.”  Lucifer rolled his jaw.

He stopped talking, but Chloe needed more. “…And?!” She said a little more forcefully than she intended.

Lucifer grumbled and rubbed Chloe’s back, a move she knew was just as much for his comfort as hers, at this point. “Well, it was a chance and a start. I would be lying if I said I didn’t think about storming the pearly gates on my two-week bender before Raph showed up.” He was looking back at the ceiling.

“So, I came.” Lucifer’s eyes were threatening to open the floodgates. “When I got my wings back all those years ago, I could have just walked through the doors. That’s what He said to me. He said that He had forgiven me some 60 odd years ago, that I was welcome back any time. Those wings were the key. Would have been bloody good to know a month ago when I was mourning the love of my existence.” Lucifer cleared his throat.

“But why was I aware of everything?” Chloe asked.

“You’re a miracle. The first in a very long time. “He sighed. “You’re not just immune to my charms, but it would seem that you’re immune to heaven’s charms as well. My little miracle, making waves wherever she goes.” Lucifer brushed a strand of hair behind Chloe’s ear.

“What else did he say?” Chloe asked.

Lucifer swallowed hard. This was it. This is what he was avoiding talking about.

“He- “Lucifer swallowed again, a tear trailing down the side of his face as he burned a hole in the ceiling with his stare. “He asked for my forgiveness. Said that you were a gift and that he just wanted to see me happy.”

Chloe smiled. “He doesn’t know you very well. You’re the most stubborn person ever when it comes to happiness. You’re not going to accept it until it slaps you across the face.”

“Or shoots me. You know I still have a scar there!” Lucifer smiled, a little bit of his happy-self coming back. A win for Chloe. She giggled.

“So, what did you say?” She asked.

Lucifer didn’t respond for a time. “I stood in front of him and thought about it for a long time. Ralph, Gabe, Amenadiel, and even Michael was there. They all had their hands on their swords, ready to defend again. I was exhausted. I was tired of being so angry. I looked into His eyes and could see the same tiredness.”

Chloe watched as his mind worked. Minutes ticked by, so he could come to the realization of his actions.

“I forgave him.” Lucifer gave a small nod and looked down at Chloe.

She smiled again and reached up to place her lips on his. She was so proud of him. Her soul mate, her friend, her lover, her partner, and now her savior.

They kissed for a moment before Chloe pulled back and bit her bottom lip, lingering on the taste of him.

“So, what does this mean?” She asked.

“Well,” Lucifer sighed and cleared his throat again. “I told him this still isn’t my home. I’d be willing to visit, but my home is on Earth, with you.” He placed a kiss on her forehead. “So, you have a choice. You may be a miracle, but your soul is still human. I can’t just take you with me.”

Chloe’s brows furrowed.

“You can either stay here, don’t worry, no more loops.” He said before Chloe could interject “You’ll be able to roam all of heaven, go and visit with friends and family, even see Sir Douche if you want.” Chloe raised an eyebrow. “Look, I’m as shocked as you are that he made it up here!” Chloe giggled. “I digress. I’ll come up and be with you whenever you want. All you must do is pray to me, and I’ll hear you. Or, you can be reincarnated, and you can be with me on Earth again.”

Chloe sat up and stared at Lucifer. “Will I remember you? I don’t want to forget anything!” Chloe shook her head.

Lucifer sat up with her and placed a hand over her heart. “Your soul will. It’ll recognize me. It’ll remember the love that I have for you.” He pushed lightly on her chest with each of the last few words.

“Why? “Chloe asked. This wasn’t an easy choice. She hated heaven already, but she wanted to see her friends and family. She wanted to be with Lucifer more than anything though, and she knew that he didn’t want to be in heaven any more than she did at this point.

Lucifer smiled. “Free will. It’s your choice.”

Chloe bit her bottom lip and looked at Lucifer. “Will you know it’s me?”

Lucifer smiled. “I’d know you anywhere, my love.”

Chloe nodded her head and leaned over to kiss him. “Can we have a little while longer?” Her lips brushed against his.

Lucifer’s lips twitched into that sinful grin, “Time runs differently in heaven. I’m sure they won’t miss us for a few months.” His hand holding the back of her neck, he took her mouth into his as soft moans escaped her throat.

 

_______

 

Kyle woke up with a start. She’d been having those dreams again lately, large wings and red eyes. She shook her head a couple of times to get out of the daze.  She grumbled out of bed, making her way to the kitchen for coffee. Today was the day. She was graduating from the California Police Academy, she didn’t have time to think about wings and things. Her heart beat a little harder in her chest. She was nervous but excited. Her phone buzzed wtih a text on the kitchen counter and she picked it up.

Caitlyn: So after the ceremony, a bunch of us are going out! You in?

Kyle wasn’t much of a partier, but she deserved it tonight.

Kyle: Sure!

Caitlyn: Yay! Pat got us into this super exclu club. It’s called Lux. Res is at 9

Kyle had never heard of the club before, but she felt a little thrilled at the thought. Her green eyes sparkled in the morning sun, her blonde hair a mess around her shoulders, and a smile came across her face. Today was the day her life would change, after all.