Chapter 1: I'll Be The Woody to Your Buzz
McCree was smoking in front of the boys’ locker room. Genji walked out all sweaty because he just ran the stupid state mile and shit. He looked at the tall, sexy, caramel boy who was destroying his lungs. Genji said, “Nani!...Hey uh, you going the Doomguy’s party tonight?”
McCree took one last puff from his cigarette, and ate the entire fucking thing. “Who knows...maybe if there’s some hot chicks there or somethin’. Hopefully it won’t be a waste of my time. You going?”
Genji subtly squealed like that one kid in Boku no Pico. “Oh uh ya, Im for sure going. Especially if a certain cowboy is there...wink wink. I have to make sure Hanzo doesnt catch me sneaking out.”
McCree rolled his eyes, and slapped Genji on the back. “Geez, you need to learn to stand up for yourself. Saying stuff like that makes ya sound like a damn coward. Anyways, I’m heading off to the liquor store to buy some more cigs. See ya at the party, if you got the balls to come, that is.”
Genji felt his chest suddenly grow some hair. His hands curled into donut fists as he stared into McCree’s whiskey colored eyes. “I've got the balls, I’ll show you!” McCree’s sexiness started to overwhelm him and he ran away to Winston’s sex-ed class….NANI. To learn a few tips.
Winston glared at Genji as he entered class, since his dumbass was 10 minutes late, again. He snorted, and continued with his lesson. “Okay class, can anyone tell me what the consequences are of not using proper protection?” Winston immediately pointed to Genji as he sat down is his desk. “You, twinky ninja boy. Answer my question, and I might forgive you for being late to my class.”
Genji gulped, but he was practicing for tonight. He stared at the monkey man and started to sweat...again. His dumbass brother wont let him use deodorant because it is not vegan. Genji puffed up his chest and blurted out “YOU COULD GET YOUR MAN PREGNANT!” Junkrat started laughing in seat as he dealt some coke to Pharah.
Winston sighed, and looked around the classroom to find someone who was a little smarter than Genji to answer his question. He noticed Lucio sitting in the back of the room with headphones on. “Lucio! What’s the answer to my question? I hope you were paying attention to my lesson, and not listening to Snoop Dogg or some shit.”
Lucio quickly took off his headphones and blushed. “O-Oh, of course I was paying attention, Mr. Winston! If you don’t use protection, like birth control or c-c-condoms...then you uh, you can give your partner STDs or get them pregnant.”
Winston smiled, and nodded his head. “That’s right, my little chocolate boy. You can get a jolly rancher from my desk.”
Genji sighed because he was embarrassed. Suddenly Junkrat started to whisper to the baby Japanese boy. “Oi, rumor has it that your going to that party. It’s dangerous to go alone...take this!” Junkrat pulled out a condom from his mouth and dropped it on the desk (the condom was full of coke), “I only used it thirteen times, it’s still good.”
Genji gagged and shook his head. He then threw up and it was gross. The bell rang and he ran to the parking lot to meet the dumbass vegan.
(Time skip to Hanzo’s and Genji’s house)
Genji was in his room, not doing his homework. He tried on some new outfits and his hidden stash of lingerie. It wasn't for anyone, it makes him feel confident.
Hanzo knocked on Genji’s door. “Hey, I made some mango sushi for dinner. We can eat together in the living room and listen to Evanescence.” Hanzo slowly peeked into his brother’s room, and yelled. “Yo what the fuck are you doing!?”
Genji screamed like an anime girl and covered himself with his failed math test. “I...I… I was working on my project! For uh French! Ya we have to design a French inspired lingerie line. Ya so uh if you dont mind can your leave me alone so I can work on it?! I need all night so uh don’t come in my room or you are going to make me fail...Maybe you should do your homework imagine what our Asian parents would think you get less than an A.”
Hanzo squinted at Genji, and walked back into the living room. “Whatever you say little bro, just keep that shit away from me. Now come over here and eat with me like a good little ninja.” Suddenly, there was a loud knocking sound coming from Genji’s window. Genji peered outside and saw McCree standing there, folding his arms and smiling.
“So...we gonna do this or what? I had a feeling you might pussy out so I thought I’d come over to steal you away from your lame ass brother.”
Genji blushed and slammed the door on Hanzo “I have homework! Leave me alone and go practice your origami!” Genji barricaded his door and climbed out of the window. He stared at McCree and looked at the tiny strands of chest hair peeking from his button up...Damn he was hot! Genji thought McCree might be attracted to a southern accent so he tried one but it kinda sucked.“Oh wow McCree you look mighty sexy… like er Romeo or something… I mean I wanna rub barbecue sauce on your stea… on the steak you just cooked.. Ya hunnybun.” Genji wanted to cry… he knew he sounded kind of stupid. Who the fuck talks about barbeque sauce...hopefully he didn't make it obvious that he likes him.
McCree almost shit himself from laughing so hard, and covered his mouth. “Damn, that was a good try, kid, but you might want to watch some more Western movies to get it right. Or, I could teach ya myself.” McCree rubbed his hands together. “It’s kinda cold out here, do ya mind if I come in for a sec to warm myself up?”
Genji looked at his window and nodded. “Fine but you need to be quiet… uh let me go in first ok?” Genji did his ninja jump and pushed all of his McCree fanfics under his bed. The stuff was extra sour lemons. Genji took a deep breath and held his hand out for McCree “Take my hand, Take a breath, pull me close and take one step.”
McCree’s eyes widened, and he grabbed onto Genji’s hand and jumped in through the window. “Hey I don’t know what the fuck just happened but it was kinda cool I guess. So uh, this is your room, huh? It’s...alright. Mine’s a lot cooler, and I fuck a lot of bitches in it, but yours is pretty cool too--uh, anyways, shouldn’t we be heading out now? The party started about an hour ago, which means all the ladies are already there waiting for this dick. Let’s get a move on, partner.”
Genji felt a little heartbroken but it’s ok. He nodded and climbed out of the window. As they were walking to the party Genji scooted a little closer to McCree. “Hey uh you know how you said my room was alright? I’ll have you know that I've done the dirty with a lot of nice respectable people too. But uh since you think your room is so cool, maybe you should show me around sometime. I mean you could be Woody and I can be Buzz… AS FRIENDS OF COURSE!” Genji tried to smile. He didn't want McCree to know he was inexperienced.
McCree laughed, and lit another cigarette. “I’ve never met someone as weird as you, I gotta be honest with ya. But I do think you’re pretty, uh--”’
Doomfist appeared out of nowhere and did a meteor strike on those bitches. “Hey guys, where the fuck have you been? We’ve been waiting for you to show up, dumb shits. Anyways come on inside, my house is around the corner. Everyone inside is drunk as shit lmao.”
McCree kicked the door down and stole an apple whisky from Roadhog and chug it down. Genji shyly stepped in and everything froze. The weird thing is...Mei didn’t use her ultimate. Everyone was staring at Genji, shocked to see his twinky ass here. Genji started to feel stressed, but he wanted to impress McCree and the cool kids. He grabbed a vodka bottle from the kitchen and dumped it out when no one was looking. He then filled it up with water and jumped onto the dance floor. “Hey look at this everyone!” Genji pulled out his phone and filmed himself chugging the vodka.
McCree was busy flirting with Sombra, who was completely ignoring him, and trying to find a way to escape. Sombra saw Genji dancing in the crowd, and grabbed McCree’s arm.
“Hey, cowboy, isn’t that your ninja friend getting lit over there?”
McCree spit out his drink, and squinted his eyes. He couldn’t believe that kinda lame twinky little ninja boy was chugging straight vodka, and dancing like a stripper too, in front of all of these people. He pushed his way through the crowd, and grabbed onto Genji’s arm.
“I think you need to calm down a bit, partner. Maybe go sit down on the couch, and drink some juice instead? I don’t think you’re ready for this stuff. Here, you go sit down and I’ll go find you something to drink.” McCree took the bottle from Genji, and walked over to the kitchen to find some juice. He saw some cranberry juice sitting on the counter, and poured it into a cup.
Genji crossed his arms and looked at Junkrat who was sitting next to him, snorting coke off of Roadhog’s belly button. “Hey ya Aussie, you got anything to make McCree let loose a little… he seems kinda tense and it doesn't seem like he's having much fun.”
Junkrat coughed and laughed “Oi of course I got the the shit.” He pulled out a little blue tablet from his asshole and dropped it Genji’s palm “Drop this in and fire in the hole. Battabing Battaboom McCree is back to his normal self. Don't worry I wont tell anyone… besides everyone else is drunk as fuck...except Zarya. Russians don’t get drunk.”
Genji smiled and hugged Junkrat “Thanks man! I owe you big time!” Genji slithered around the table, trying to not get caught by Zarya. He noticed a solo cup with “McCree” written on it and he dropped the tablet into the drink and ran back to the couch. Lesson: Dont drug people it is wrong and illegal and you will go to jail and you will die, or I will kill you YES THIS IS A WRITTEN THREAT.
McCree walked back to the couch with the cranberry juice, and handed it to Genji. He plopped down next to the twinky ninja, and took a sip of his drink. “Damn, this shit is good. I hope you like your juice, I couldn’t find anything else, so I hope that’s alright.” A few minutes later, McCree started to sweat, and his head felt weird. His vision was distorted, and he stared at Genji for a few seconds before recognizing him. “Yo, I think I had a bit too much to drink. It’s...weird, I usually drink more than this.” McCree tried to stand up, and fell backwards onto Genji’s lap. “Oh shit, sorry buddy. I’m having a rough time here, help a guy out, huh? I think I need to lay down.”
Genji blushed, He always wanted to be this close with McCree. Anyway, he felt really bad that McCree wasn't feeling well...it was all his fault. “Ya sure, anything for ya.” he wiggled away from McCree and helped him up. “Hey Doomfist, McCree isn't feeling too well.”
Doomfist rolled his eyes and crossed his arms “Weird...he's not usually like this. My parents room is upstairs...just dont touch their Power Rangers collection.”
Genji smiled and slowly helped McCree to the master bedroom. Doomfist’s parents had a lot of exotic animal furs...and Power Rangers shit. Genji was in awe but he helped Mcree onto the plush bed. “Hey uh..Do you need me to get you some water or advil?”
McCree sprawled out on the bed, and yawned. “Nah...just some peace and quiet for now. Fuck, it’s hot as fuck in here. Take the hoodie off--nah keep it on, it’s cute as fuck. Do you mind stayin’ in here for a bit to make sure I don’t choke on my own vomit? Thanks…” McCree was extremely uncomfortable, and he felt dizzy. He had never felt like this before. “Genji. Did you see anyone messin’ around with my drink?”
Genji started to sweat and he shook his head. “Nah...I think you might have caught a cold when we were walking. You know it was pretty cold. I should call you an uber...Your parents must be worried sick about you. I know my Hanzo would be if I was in your situation.” Genji sighed and leaned against the wall. “I feel like it’s my fault...You always had fun at parties until I came.” (IT IS YOUR FUCKIN FAULT).
McCree laughed, and pushed his hair out of his face. “Nah, it was my fault for not watching my drink more closely. It’s your first party, ain’t it? I feel bad that you have to watch over me right now, buddy.” He smiled weakly at Genji, which immediately made Genji’s heart skip a beat.
Genji looked at his phone and saw the low battery and started charging his phone with a Power Rangers phone charger. He turned to look at McCree, still leaning against the wall. “Hey I don't mind. You got a friend in me. I've got your back no matter what. We can still have fun, OH! Let me show you these awesome Lego The Hobbit videos these dumbasses made (us). They are quite funny...Unless you are not into legos...then uh I don't watch those ki7nds of videos.” Genji pulled at his hair and accidentally shouted “I’m so awkward...NANI!”
McCree stared at Genji in confusion. He literally could no longer comprehend what the ninja boy was talking about, but he smiled and nodded. “Uh...yeah man. You tell em. Oh shit, I don’t feel so good--” McCree jumped up off the bed, and puked into the trashcan next to the bed. Genji held McCree’s hair back, so McCree wouldn’t get any vomit on his beautiful face. Genji felt weird being so close to McCree like this, but he also had mixed feelings about being kinda turned on when his friend was busy puking up his organs.
Genji gulped and thought to himself, Okay if I'm gonna make a move it has to be now. He continued to hold McCree’s hair with one hand and he gently rubbed McCree’s chest as he was puking. “I'll be there for you.” He rested his head on McCree’s back like he was a baby lemur and McCree was his daddy. McCree could feel Genji’s heartbeats pounding on his back.
McCree’s eyes widened, and he turned to look at Genji. “Hey, uh, you’re gettin’ a little close there, buddy. I’m not sure if I’m into that, I-I mean uhh if that’s what you’re lookin’ for then maybe I’m not the person to...uh...I don’t know what’s going on anymore.” Genji smiled, and slid his hand down McCree’s pants. McCree gasped, and he felt his face getting hotter and hotter. “Woah there, now. That’s...oh shit, I’m not gay. At least I don’t think I am...uhhh--” Genji licked the back of McCree’s neck, and started to give McCree a handjob.
McCree gasped and he clenched the bedsheet. “Hey..Oh fuck...Genji…”
Genji looked at him and started to grow really worried. Is he ruining his newfound friendship? Anyways he put on his big boy panties and then did the talking thing as he stopped stroking him “Yes Sheriff?
“Giddy up boy” purred McCree. Genji did as McCree said and went faster, building up McCree’s desire to overtake Japan. “Lay the fuck down, I’ll bring my Pearl Harbour to you.”
Genji blushed and nodded. “Yes sir!”
“YOU WILL CALL ME DADDY!” yelled McCree.
“Yes daddy! Just give me one second.” Genji got up and ran to his phone and hid it behind the Power Rangers stuff before pressing record. He ran toward the bed and laid across the bed. I want you to nuke my Nagasaki.”
McCree smiled, and unbuckled his belt. “Genji, do you mind doing me a favor and taking care of this for me, partner?” McCree’s sausage was sticking up in his underwear. He pulled Genji close to him.
“Anything for you...daddy!” Genji quickly pulled down McCree’s underwear, and started going to town on McCree’s revolver. Genji was nervous, since this was his first time, but he watched a lot of hentai so he kind of knew what he was doing.
“Oh shit, Genji, you’re so epic. This is so epic.”
Genji pulled away from his...corn on the cob and brought himself to McCree’s eyes level. He leaned into McCree’s ear and brushed his lips against his stubble “Hit or miss...I guess they never miss huh. You got a boyfriend? I bet he doesn't kiss ya...not until now.” Genji yanked McCree’s shirt and pulled him into his lips. Their tongues wrestled a bit, But McCree was getting really pissed off that he wasn’t in control.
McCree growled like an animal and pinned Genji to the bed. “They don’t call me deadshot for nothin’.” McCree flipped Genji onto his belly and did exactly wait Genji asked for. To nuke his Nagasaki. McCree looked around in the drawers in the dresser, and he found some Power Rangers lube and a condom. “Oh hell yeah. I knew I would find somethin.’ Genji--you ready to get wrecked with this dick boi?”
Genji blushed, and squeezed onto McCree’s hand. “Yes, Daddy Sheriff. Please make me yours.” McCree smiled, and squeezed some lube onto his fingers.
“So, uh, I’ve never done this before, but you only have one hole so I’m guessing I put it in here. Right..?” McCree laughed nervously. Genji looked back at him, and guided McCree’s finger to his bootyhole.
“Please be gentle, daddy.” Genji closed his eyes, and clenched onto the bed sheets.
McCree leaned into Genji’s ear and whispered. “It’s high noon!” McCree shoved himself in, almost ripping Genji’s baby butt. Genji started to cry but he really liked it. “OHHHH sheriff have mercy on me!”
McCree grunted and yanked Genji’s hair back. “You’re wanted dead or alive partner. And i’m going to fuck you till you’re dead!”
Genji’s heart raced, ya his butt hurt but he’s been constipated a lot so it has been some really good practice for his bootyhole. McCree continued and slapped Genji. McCree is a rough boi ok.
McCree started to give Genji little hickeys on his neck and chest, and even though he kept trying to imagine titties instead, he like the way Genji’s chest felt more than anyone else’s. Genji started to moan like an anime girl, and McCree thrusted faster and faster. “Ah shit, Genji, I don’t know if I can take much more, partner.”
Genji kissed McCree passionately, and wrapped his arms around McCree’s neck. “It’s okay, I’m at my limit too, daddy…!”
McCree felt Genji’s bootyhole clench, and he let out his southern juices inside the twinky ninja boy. “Shit, sorry Genji! I got too excited. And I think I forgot to put on the condom…"
Genji whimpered and pressed his hand on McCree’s stubble and looked at his dark boo boo eyes. “Oh um that’s okay…” Genji was worried...he was afraid to get pregnant. That’s what he gets for drugging him. “Hey um I better head home, I’ll call you an Uber.” Genji got up from the bed and he screamed in pain as he felt like his butt was ripping open. He crawled towards the dresser and snatched his phone and stopped the video. He called an Uber and jumped out the window and ran home. So Genji found his way home and jumped into his bedroom and fell on his bed. He wanted to seem cool with the other kids in school so he decided to post his drinking video on snapchat and twitter. He went to bed...Pussy
Chapter 2: I Don't Make Love, I Bang
Shit goes down at the end.
(Insert Spongebob voice) - The next day
Genji got up the next day, sobbing like a little bitch. He felt like that one dude from goosh goosh video...only he really liked it. He stood up from his bed and screamed at the massive bloodstain on his mattress. “Ahhhh!!!!I GOT MY PERIOD...IM PREGNANT!! THIS IS NOT EPIC NANI!” Genji started crying but he was kinda happy at the same time. “Hanzo must never find out about this.” Genji ran to his parent’s bathroom and stuck a tampon up his butt to hide the bleeding. Genji may be Asian, but he is a little dumb...okay a lot dumb. He’s the Carl Wheezer of this story.
Hanzo was in the kitchen, making himself a pot of coffee. He saw Genji walking out of the bathroom, and he noticed that Genji was walking a bit strange.
“Brother, is something wrong with your back? Did you get your ass kicked or something?” Hanzo poured himself a cup of coffee. “You should drink some of my coffee, it will help you feel better. And maybe help you stop being such a pussy.”
Genji nodded, “Ya that par-- I mean project really kicked my ass. I fell on my needles and now my butt hurts.” Genji grabbed a mug and poured some coffee and two percent milk. He took a sip, the flavor reminded him of McCree’s lips. “Yummy for my tummy.”
Hanzo eyeballed Genji from across the living room. He sat down on the couch, and turned on the news. “THIS JUST IN--FORTNITE HAS BEEN DELETED BY ELON MUSK!! WHAT WILL WE DO WITHOUT OUR BELOVED FORTNITE? TUNE IN AT 11 AM FOR MORE EPIC--” Hanzo quickly turned the TV off. He sighed, and walked over to his room. “Brother, if you ever pour milk in your coffee ever again, I swear to god I will game end you. Now go get ready for your classes. I don’t want to be late, fucking milk-drinker.” Hanzo slammed his door shut.
Genji ran to his room and stuffed all of his shit in his bag. “Fucking bitch...doesnt let me drink milk. I’m a growing boy. Maybe McCree will come save me.” Genji’s butt was really hurting from that random tampon he stuck up his butt, but he has to go to school. He can't afford to be held back...again.
Genji kicked down his door with false confidence and shit and crossed his arms “Ok bitch lets go!”
Hanzo kicked down his door, and grabbed Genji by his hair. “Bitch, call me bitch one more time and I’ll run you over with my Prius.” Hanzo walked out to his car, and shoved Genji into the backseat. “I don’t want you to sit next to me today, little brother. You need to learn some goddamn manners.”
(Insert Spongebob Voice)-- Ten minutes later
While Hanzo pulled into the school parking lot, and started to back up into his parking space, he suddenly felt something slam into the right side of his car (It felt like that time McCree rammed into his baby brother’s butt). He looked up, and saw McCree, driving his big ass Ford F-150 Truck. Hanzo jumped out of his car, and grabbed McCree by his shirt. “What the fuck are you doing, you dumbass bacon-loving cowboy motherfucker!? I’m going to take your sorry ass to ninja court!”
McCree chuckled, and blew smoke into Hanzo’s face. “Calm down, darlin’, it’s just a scratch. I barely even did any damage. See?” McCree tapped the side of the car, and the front bumper fell off. McCree scratched his head, and tipped his hat. “Well, I oughta be gettin’ to class. See ya!” McCree took his cigarette, and put it out on Hanzo’s collarbone. “There. Now maybe you’ll be more popular, if people think that you’ve been getting laid.” McCree flipped him off and rolled away to class.
Hanzo was ready to ryuuga wagateki wo kurau that bitch into oblivion, but he was already late for his class. “Genji, get your ass to class, I’ll see you after school. Don’t be late.” He ran towards McCree hoping that he could smack the dumbass cowboy before going to class.
Genji’s cheeks grew pink as he saw his baby daddy and his brother arguing. It was like they were family already. So ya Genji jumped out of the window and ran away before Hanzo could catch him crushing on a cowboy like that Brokeback Mountain movie. Dat shit is good.
Genji’s heart raced, his mind was filled with images of McCree’s rock hard body. First he had to take French, sadly McCree wasn’t in that class. As he was strutting like he was on America’s Next Top Model he noticed a bunch of girls giggle and pointing at him. Lol they think I’m Kawaii nyan. Too bad I’m with senpai. He thought. A few minutes later he managed to take his perky ass and plop it at his desk. In the corner of the room he noticed some people at the party watching a video and giggling. Wowza it was Sombra, Tracer, and D.Va! The coolest girls in school. Well except Tracer...everyone found her a little annoying tbh. “Hey guys or gals as I should say. That was an awesome party wasn’t it!?” said Genji. The girls looked up at Genji, and immediately started to yell.
Sombra grabbed Genji by the arm, and laughed. “Ay dios mio! I can’t believe you hooked up with that dipshit cowboy! I never found him attractive, but that’s great that you have more of a social life now!”
Tracer looked visibly annoyed, and muttered under her breath. “Jeez, I can’t believe that McCree decided to sleep with a shitty twink ninja. I’m way better than he could ever be!” D.Va smiled nervously, as she has no idea how to react to the situation. She slowly pulled out some Doritos from her backpack and started eating them while the others talked.
Suddenly, Genji wanted to throw up. But he had to play it chill...he didn’t want to lose his chance of becoming popular. “What are talking about?? I didn’t hook up with anyone, I was trying to make sure he wouldn't throw up.”
Windowmaker suddenly swung into class and threw her gun on the desk. “No social media unless it is in French!” her eyes squinted at Genji and she shook her head “I expected you to be braver...your heart is weak...like Napoleon.”
Tracer laughed and pointed at Genji. “Haha, dumbass, even the teacher knows what a fuckin ho you are! You should have never went to that party, that could have been me with McCree!” Genji looked down at his hands, and tried not to cry.’
Widowmaker 360 noscoped Tracer from across the class. “Don’t speak when you’re not spoken to, shitface. Class, turn to page 345.”
Genji was really confused, he grabbed his phone from his hello kitty backpack and opened his social media shit, but not deviantart because that shit is private. He opened his snapchat and when he saw the video. His baby butt and McCree’s godly ass giggling in unison. It was so melodic it was like the choir at the Vatican. I...I uploaded the wrong video….FUCK MCCREE CANT FIND OUT. Our baby...must have his other father in his life… He thought as he deleted the video.
(Jumping to Hanzo in his fucking Chemistry class...Moira’s Chemistry class)
Zarya was sitting next to Hanzo, because they were lab partners and shit. McCree was across the room smoking a joint with his boys while flirting with Brigitte. Zarya glanced at Hanzo and whispered to him. “I heard about what happened to Genji last night...How is he feeling, I heard last night was really rough on him.”
Hanzo smiled, and nodded. “Yeah, he said he was going to work really hard on his project. I’m glad that he got it done.”
Zarya’s eyes widened, and she scratched her head. “Uh, what project? You--You haven’t seen the video he uploaded last night? When he was at Doomfist’s party?”
Hanzo slowly turned his head. “Excuse me? What party are you talking about? Genji never gets invited to parties.”
Zarya laughed nervously. “Uh, well you might want to watch the video then. It’s pretty intense, man. Even I couldn’t watch it, I was laughing way too hard. Here. Look.” Zarya pulled up her email, and downloaded the video that Junkrat had sent to her. The video started playing, and Hanzo could clearly see McCree and Genji fucking each others’ brains out. There was some Power Rangers figures in the background, and animal furs everywhere.
Hanzo put his hands over his head, and started to sweat. “No fucking way...no fucking way! McCree, you son of a bitch! I’ll rip your dick off and feed it to the wolves! And Genji, I’m going to kill you--again!” Hanzo slapped the phone out of Zarya’s hand. “Please, I don’t want to see that anymore. Just get it away from me.” Hanzo could feel a pain in his heart--he was pissed at his brother for acting reckless, but he was upset that McCree never recognized his feelings for him.
McCree cocked an eyebrow as he watched Hanzo throw a tantrum like Caillou. McCree forgot about everything from last night. Don’t forget he was drugged...and he didn’t see the video. Stupid bitchass cowboy. “Da fuq did I do to you? Ripping my dick off would destroy me, how could I fuck any ladies without it.” McCree stepped toward Hanzo and Zarya’s table and and pulled a cig from pocket. “Hey loosen up a little, you need it if you want people to fuck you.” He pushed the cig into Hanzo’s mouth and lit it for him. “There ya go big boy...Now who’s your mcdaddy. It’s me...now...dont...you...forget...that...bitch!” McCree rolled away before class was even over.
Moira suddenly smelt smoke and her head spun around like a weird-ass owl. “HANZO! No smoking in class! Go to the principal's office! Only McCree is allowed to smoke.”
Hanzo chucked an arrow at Moira, but Moira has Naruto reflexes, so she caught it mid-air. “Hanzo, you will get minus 10 points today for acting like a little bitch. NOW GET YOUR ASS TO THE FUCKING PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE GODDAMMIT!” Moira slammed the door, and Hanzo began to walk towards the principal’s office. He didn’t feel like getting a lecture from Ana, who acted extremely polite in all situations, even when you knew she wanted to strangle someone.
(Insert Spongebob Voice)--One hour later, at Genji and McCree’s PE class
McCree was changing his clothes in the boys’ locker room, while Genji continued to stare at him from afar. McCree noticed Genji staring, and smiled. “Hey now, mister, you can look, but ya can’t touch. Anyways--that party last night, how crazy was that, huh? Did you hook up with any hot chicks?”
Genji’s heart suddenly shattered, McCree doesn't even fucking remember their intimate moment together. What a bitch. It was probably for the best though, Genji really didn’t want to ruin McCree’s reputation. He continued to stare a McCree’s half-naked body. Fuck, that guy should take Matthew McConaughey's part in Magic Mike. “Oh ya it was a great party. I uh actually did hook up with someone special. They made me feel something I never felt before. What about you, did you make love with anyone?”
McCree shook his head and put on his Summer Games skin and lit a cig. “Pumpkin, I don’t make love, I bang.”
Reaper walked in and saw McCree and Genji talking. “What the hell do you guys think you’re doing? I took attendance five minutes ago, ya little bastards! Get the fuck onto the field and play some sports!” Reaper left, and McCree and Genji were alone again.
McCree took a puff from his cigarette, and put his hand on Genji’s shoulder. “Listen, buddy. I’m sure if you hang out with cool guys like me more often, you’ll get to fuck anyone you damn well please. Now let’s go play some good ol’ fashioned American football.”
Genji smiled and followed McCree to the field, but instead of playing the game he sat on the bleachers. Reaper suddenly shadow stepped behind Genji and smacked him. “Why are fucking sitting here you little bitch! If you don’t get out there, you are going to die! Die! Die!”
Genji nearly pissed himself and suddenly started crying like D.W from Arthur. “Oh Mr. Reaper I cant play...I have a reason too, but it is too personal.”
Reaper got into Genji’s face and growled at him like some crazy lunatic man.”You better tell my why you can’t play! Or I’ll shove my guns down your fucking throat!”
Genji whimpered, “I...I...I...I’m Pregnant.”
Reaper’s eyes widened. “YOU WHAT? Boy, you better not be making jokes in my fucking class! Now get your ass on the field and play ball! I don’t have time for this shit.” Genji quickly ran onto the field, and immediately walked up to McCree.
McCree was chatting with Doomfist and Lucio. Genji waved at them, and Doomfist and Lucio stared at him. McCree smiled, and slapped Genji on the back. “Were you trying to get out of this? I saw you over there sitting down on the bleachers. Football is fun, but I guess ninjas don’t have an appreciation for it.” Lucio blushed, and averted his eyes from Genji.
Genji noticed this, and scratched his head. “Hey, you okay Lucio?”
Lucio started to sweat, and slowly backed away. “Oh--Uh, yeah, I’m good! I just, uh, need to go, to...to take care of my Grandma’s dead cat! Bye!” Lucio ran off, and Doomfist gave Genji a side eye.
Doomfist crossed his arms and pulled the two of them to the side. “Hey I need to talk with you both. I know about what you did in my parent’s room, but what did I tell you about touching their Power Rangers shit?! They know someone took the lube and a condom, but now I’m fucking grounded from my Xbox.” Doomfist turned to McCree, showing him the pain in his dark eyes. “How could you fuck this dude on my parents bed!? I thought we were friends!”
McCree looked confused and he growled, “I didn't fuck no one! I’m just as disappointed as you are!...Fuck, you knew I was sick, I wouldn’t do that to you!”
Doomfist wanted to do a rising uppercut...but was still on cool down. “Explain this!” Doomfist pulled out his phone and showed McCree the sextape.
McCree gasped, and slapped the phone out of Doomfist’s hand. “What the hell is this!? I don’t know what your problem is man, but that shit could be fake, or animated, or something! I would never fuck a guy! That’s gay, and I’m not gay!!” McCree lit about 10 cigarettes, and smoked them all at once.
Genji blushed, and died a little bit on the inside. Part of him wished that McCree would acknowledge what had happened last night, but another part of him wished that people would stop making a big deal about his sexy time with McCree.
Genji took a deep breath and gazed at McCree, “Can I speak with you for a second...alone.” Before McCree could even reply, Genji dragged McCree to the boy’s bathroom. Genji started to tear up, and he struggled to look up at McCree. “That video...It’s real. Yes even the part when you wanted me to call you Daddy. Someone drugged your drink and while I was taking care of you, we got intimate. I recorded the moment because I wanted to remember this moment, but I never intended to share it with anyone. I was trying to post my drinking video, but I was tired and worn out I ended up posting the wrong video.” Genji fell to the ground a covered his eyes as he sobbed. “And now...Now I’m pregnant. I understand if you hate me and never want to speak with me again. But I want you to be there for our child McCree. No one knows I’m pregnant except you...well and Mr. Reaper. McCree I’m so sorry I did this to you.”
McCree’s eyes widened. He scratched his beard, and leaned against the wall, lighting another cigarette. “So, you’re sayin’....that we….fucked? For real? And you’re tellin’ me I got ya preggers? Like, you got a baby in your ass or something?” McCree looked in a mirror, and squinted. “Yeah, that baby’s probably gonna pretty damn handsome, if it inherits any of my good looks. I’m not too keen on changin’ any diapers, mind you. Maybe one day, when the kid is about 8 years old, I’ll go out to 7-11 to buy a beer and never come back. Isn’t that what most dads do nowadays?” McCree was chuckling, but he tried to hide it from Genji, who takes everything seriously.
Genji gasped and crossed his tiny arms, trying to hide the fact he wanted to punch McCree’s pretty face. Genji got up in McCree’s face and scrunched his nose. “You know, you got some real nerve to say you are going to abandon the kid. Fuck, everyone told me that you are just a cheeseburger bitch looking to get his dill pickle wet! I wanted to prove everyone that you were more than just a man-ho but I guess I was fucking wrong as always! Fuck you McCree! I understand if you didn't want to speak with me ever, but to fucking joke about abandoning a child is pretty fucking low...even for you! I feel sorry for the next person whose life is ruined by you!” Genji faced was flooded with boo boo tears and he bitched slapped McCree. “Goodbye Asshole!” Genji felt his heart shatter as he stormed out of the bathroom. He wanted to run away...but he doesn't have any money. He ignored his classmates who were staring at him and he ran to hide under the bleachers to cry it out. Frankly, he felt like part of him died.
McCree stood in the bathroom, alone. He stared at the floor, trying to figure out what had just happened. He never expected Genji to get so emotional. Although it was fucking hilarious that Genji thought he was pregnant, McCree felt a bit guilty for saying the things he had said earlier.
Suddenly, Reaper ran into the restroom, shoving McCree into one of the urinals. “Move, bitch!!” Reaper kicked down one of the stall doors, and started to take a massive shit. “Ohhh shiiiit bitch, I’ve been holding this in for like, 6 fucking days! Leave while you still can, ya Brokeback Mountain lookin-ass.” McCree started to smell the awful shit smell from Reaper’s ass. He ran outside, trying to cover his mouth so he wouldn’t taste the shit smell. When he got outside, he could see Doomfist playing football with the others on the field. McCree knew he had to apologize to Genji, and explain that he was joking about the whole 7-11 thing. “Genji? Genji! Where ya at buddy? Listen, I didn’t mean nothin’ when I said those things to ya, I was just yankin’ yer dick!”
Genji stayed concealed behind the bleachers as he whispered, “Conceal don’t feel, don’t let them know.” He eyed McCree with his eyes full of hatred and heartbreak. This boi made the wise decision to do his ninja run away from the football field. He grabbed his shit from the locker rooms and and timidly made his way to the nurses office. He didn't care he was ditching his next class, he didn't want McCree to come looking for him like he was a lost cow or something. He knocked on the nurse’s door and peeked inside. “Ms. Mercy...um can I have a pregnancy test?” whispered Genji.
Mercy looked at Genji in confusion. She had always known that Genji wasn’t the smartest guy alive, but she wasn’t expecting him to ask for a pregnancy test. “Uh, Genji, you know, actually…” She fidgeted with her hands. She didn’t have the heart to outright tell him that it was impossible for him to get pregnant, so she looked in her drawer. She pulled a pregnancy test out, and handed it to Genji. She thought it would be better for her to tell him the truth after he had taken the test. “Here. Just piss on it in the bathroom, and it should tell you the result within a few seconds.” She handed the test to him, and directed to him to the restroom. “Just let me know when you’re done, sweetie.”
“Thank you.” Genji wiped his tears with his sleeve and went to the bathroom.
(Meanwhile, Genji was peeing. Writing about that is a little weird, but it’s ok if you like to write that stuff)
Genji stared at the negative sign that popped up, showing he was not pregnant. He was really upset, but happy at the same time. He blew his nose into his sweater and meandered back to the office and sat on one of the beds. “I...I don't understand. I got my period and everything, my butt was bleeding. I was emotional.” Suddenly, Genji broke down in tears, because he started thinking about all the events that just happened. “What’s wrong with me!”
Mercy smiled softly, and patted Genji on the back. “Genji, I don’t know how to tell you this, but you can’t get pregnant. You’re a guy, and guys just...well, they don’t get pregnant.” She averted her eyes. She almost wanted to ask who Genji had been with, but she knew that was an inappropriate thing to ask a student. “Genji, I think you should talk to the other person about this. I don’t want you two to be confused about all of this, especially since the other person might be worried about you. But I can assure you, you’re not pregnant.”
Genji scoffed and tired to hold back the water works. “You don’t think I tried talking to him? Why do you think I came in here crying? He laughed at me and started making all these jokes. Oh and guess what!?He’s not the only person who knows, half the school knows about what happened! I thought I could trust him to support me but he’s like everyone else at this fucking school! I should just fucking drop out, I mean my life if already over! I'm already being made fun of, and this will give people more reason to do so!” Genji started crying even harder and feel to his ground and buried his face into his knees. “I’m sorry Ms.Mercy. I shouldn’t have yelled...can I please be excused. I just want to head home.”
Mercy sighed, and patted Genji on the head. “That’s alright, dear. Just follow your heart, and everything will be okay. I hope you do make up with your friend--err, partner.” Mercy handed Genji a lollipop for being so brave.
Genji smiled and ate the lollipop and swallowed the stick. He meandered to the parking lot, he saw McCree’s truck was still there. He glared at the truck and kicked the tire, but it hurt his toe “Son of a sushi boi! That hurt!”He waddled to the rolled down window of Hanzo’s car and jumped in. he sat in silence, waiting in silence for Hanzo. His heart shattered and he started crying...again while he deleted all of his social media. Except for facebook. He was following too many sushi pages to delete that.
Hanzo walked out to his car, and saw Genji crying. He got inside the car, and started the engine. “Brother, what’s wrong? I’ve never seen you like this before...did something happen? If anyone is fucking with you at school, I’ll kick their ass.” Although Hanzo usually teased his younger brother, at times like this, he felt very protective over Genji.
Genji continued to cry while Hanzo was driving. “You...you have to promise you won’t get mad at me. Um the other night I went to a party...instead of doing my project...the project was fake anyway.” He started crying even harder as he began to think of McCree. “I...I got intimate with someone and the entire school knows! My dumb ass accidently posted a video! These girls made fun of me, my teacher even fucking know about this! I tried talking to the person, but he made fun of me and he started saying some of these really mean things. Hanzo… what's wrong with me?! Why do I always have to mess everything up...why can’t I be happy like everyone else. I just want to have friends.” Genji gasped for air because he was crying so hard. “Hanzo I don’t want to go to school anymore...please don’t make me go. I can go online or something.”
Hanzo pulled the car into a 7-11 parking lot. He hugged Genji tightly, and sighed. “Brother, I’m so sorry. I wish you had told me this sooner, but I’m glad you told me. If there’s anything I can do for you, tell me. But...I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave school. You’ll only get more sad if you’re at home all of the time. Do you need me to to talk to the Principal?” Hanzo wasn’t amazing at comforting people, but he wanted to be there for Genji, no matter what.
Genji shook his head and glanced at the 7-11 sign. “No you can’t talk to the Principal! That will make everything worse! I can’t go to school either! Everyone will make even more fun of me.” Genji was too emotionally drained and his face was just blank :(. “I just want to go home…”
Hanzo put his seatbelt back on, and started to drive home. “Well, you can take the next day off from school if you need to, little brother. Just try to consider what I said, okay?” After a few minutes, Hanzo and Genji arrived at their house. Hanzo got out of the car, and walked inside with Genji. Hanzo wanted to cheer Genji up, so he walked into the kitchen and grabbed Genji’s favorite mug. It had a fat dabbing cat on it. Hanzo looked in the pantry, and found some packets of hot chocolate. He put on some gloves, and poured milk into the cup. He didn’t like the idea of doing this, but he wanted Genji to feel better. He warmed up the milk, and mixed the hot chocolate in. He handed the mug to Genji. “Here you go, brother!”
Genji smiled “Thank you Hanzo…” He drank the whole thing through his nose and waddled to the bathroom without saying another word. He looked at his green hair in the mirror and pulled out a random thing of L’oreal hair dye that was in the trash for some reason. “Brokenhearted emo kid black...the color’s name fits me.” So this bitch dyed his hair an awesome angsty black color. When he went back to his room, it was already 1 am. WOWZA that's late. Suddenly, a bunch of anger bubbled through his skin. He grabbed all of his McCree fanfics, poems, and drawing from under the bed and carried them to the living room. One by one, two by two he threw the papers into the fire place with quiet tears dripping down his face.