Chapter 1: New beginnings
It was 5am when I heard her alarm go off. Having just moved from Paris to Toronto to live with my maman, the jet lag was still pretty bad. In the few days I was there, it was already clear that I would be living mostly by herself, since maman worked crazy shifts as a nurse.
Leaving my bed was hard enough in my usual schedule, but, at this ungodly hour in the morning, dying seemed like a much better option to me.
“Get up, mon bébé”
“Non, maman. Five more minutes, s’il vous plaît” I groaned
“Non, you are going to be late for your first day of school and you have a tour with the other new students so you won’t get lost”
“Fine, but I’m eating cereal today and I don’t want to hear your “you need to eat healthier, Delphine” speech” I said storming off to the bathroom to start her morning routine.
With my blonde curly hair perfectly styled, I ate breakfast while watching some random TV program, however, I soon realized I was late and ran to my car to get to school.
I arrived right on time for the tour. There were only four new students that year, but at least I wouldn’t be getting all the unwanted attention.
“Alison Hendrix?” The student body president was calling out
“Here!” Said a girl with straight brown hair in a ponytail and with perfectly cut bangs
“Cosima Niehaus? Cosima? Has anyone seen her?”
“Oh, sweet Jesus! That girl is late again, I’m gonna have a nice long talk with her!”
“Oi, Ali! Stop being such a pain in the ass, she’ll be here in time for classes” A girl that looked exactly like her, only with dark clothes and messy hair, came to join them
“Oui”, Delphine murmured shyly
“Are you French?” I nodded “Hey, you don’t have to be shy with us, sweetie. We are all in this together and going to a new school is never easy, especially in another country”
“Umm.. Thank you.. Alison?”
“You can call me Ali”
“Yeah, yeah. We all know you’re fucking miss congeniality”
“Sarah Manning?” The student continued
“So, we are going to begin the tour and Cosima can join us later. My name is Aynsley, I’m a Senior here just like you guys and I’m the student body president, the captain of the cheerleading squad. Go hens! So, if you have any doubts about the extracurriculars or anything at all, just come looking for me. Follow me.”
We passed the gym, the library, some classrooms and ended up in the biology lab. Everything was clean and new there, it was pretty amazing. My eyes were probably shining with all the stuff I saw there, It has been some time since I was this passionate about science - or anything for that matter. Aynsley started talking with a boy that was nearby - Paul, I think - and told us to wait there and don’t touch anything.
Right when I was admiring the microscope I heard a new voice behind me.
“Holy watershed, I’m sorry, I lost track of time. I’m kinda always late, so kinda always sorry.”
The girl who looked like the other two, but at the same time it was like she was completely different. The dreads, the thick and perfect eyeliner, the black glasses, the nose ring, the hippie style and mostly the warmth and the life that irradiated from her pulled me like she was a magnet or something. Was I attracted to her? Non, of course not, I’m straight… I think.
She then looked at me and I could feel my heart skip a beat when we made eye contact.
“Oh, are you new as well?” I could only nod “Nice to meet you, my name is Cosima”
“Delphine” I smiled “Enchantée”
“Enchantée” She grinned
“Finally, Cosima! Where were you, missy? How did you manage to get so late living with us?” Ali said in a stern tone
“Man, I don’t know, you know I have a talent for this shit”
“Bloody hell, Cos! It was ‘bout time you showed up. Great timing by the way, geek monkey” Sarah smirked
“Dude, the lab is fucking amazing! I can’t wait to do a lot of crazy science in here with you guys!”
“Cosima, you know you’re the only one here taking AP bio, don’t get ahead of yourself”
“Err.. Actually, I’m in AP biology as well…” I spoke timidly
“That’s great! Wanna be my lab partner?”
“Oui, I look forward to doing crazy science with you”
“Yeah. Ditto. Obvs.” She said nervously
“Shite, Cos! Keep it in your pants, will ya?”
“Shut the fuck up, Sar” Her cheeks were burning red
What was that all about?
The day passed by pretty slowly. I was glad to find out I had History and English with Alison, Calculus and Biology with Cosima and Gym with Sarah.
By lunch I had already met a lot of my classmates and most of them seemed okay, but the triplets were the ones I felt more comfortable with, so I sat with them. The conversation about how were our classes was running smoothly as a group of people that were “misfits” - as we were told - came by and started talking to us.
“Hi, my name is Beth and these knuckleheads are Tony and Art. Can we sit with you guys?” Said a dark haired girl next to two guys, which I assumed were the ones she was talking about
“Sure” we answered
“So… you're the new girls. Damn, you're hot! And you, Frenchie… I can't believe I just met an angel! How did I get so lucky?” He said kissing my hand “Oh, and I'm Tony by the way”
“Mercy, Tony. I'm Delphine.”
“Be careful with this guy, Delphine. He's can be very flirtatious when he wants to!” Beth told me and we all giggled
“Hey, I'm Art! I feel like it's best if I apologise now for the trouble you'll get with those other two”
“Trouble? Now you're speaking my language! I'm Sarah and these bad copies of me are geek monkey Cosima and future soccer mom Alison”
“Come on, Sar. I'm not that geeky!” Cosima pouted
“Are you a psychic now too, Sarah? I'm full of surprises, you can't know what my future holds” As soon as those words came out from Alison's mouth, Sarah was laughing really hard and everyone else was trying to suppress their giggles.
“Yeah, right!” Sarah replied already breathless
The rest of lunch was pretty fun with this group of people, they were really entertaining and clearly cared about each other. The last class of the day was Gym with Sarah, Beth and Art.
Both Beth and Art were amazing at sports and they loved playing anything that involved a ball. Sarah passed the first half of the class playing soccer - a little too violently, if you ask me - and completely disappeared after that. I played the entire class, I hadn't had a smoke since that morning and a day with so much interactions really took a toll on me, so I had to do something to get my mind off of it.
As I was changing in the locker room I heard a loud noise that startled me. When I turned around to see what caused this, my eyes met Cosima's. Apparently, she tripped over a bag that was left on the floor and fell face first in the lockers. She looked really embarrassed and red. Couldn't even look at me when she started rambling.
“Who the fuck left this damn bag here? Fuck! Shit, sorry! I didn't mean to startle you, Del. I was just looking for Sarah because I forgot my keys. Ali already left to hang out with Aynsley and the other cheerleaders, Mrs. S is gonna work late, Felix has dance classes and she is my only hope of getting home to read the new Biology book. I know it sounds pretty lame and I'm not even ashamed of it. Besides, you're my lab partner and my new buddy! Anyways, have you seen Sarah?” I realized I was still with my shirt off, so I quickly put on one before she finished explaining herself.
“Non, she left in the middle of the cla-”
“But… if you want we can go to my place to study. I was going to do that this afternoon as well.”
“Really? You don't have to tell me that to make me feel better about my geekiness… And I really wouldn't like to bother you and your parents.”
“C'est vrai. I think I might be considered a geek too. And you're not imposing, just making me some company and dorking out, as you say. My mom is a nurse so she will only get back from work in the middle of the night.”
“Let's go, then. But I'm totes gonna order us some food when we get there. My treat!”
When we got home, we read and discussed a big part of the science textbook we received. We focused on Biology - a common passion of ours - linking it to Chemistry, Physics and Math as well. It was so much fun, I believe I haven't talked so much or felt so alive and excited since I was ten and staying at my grand-mère's house.
About 5pm she fulfilled her promise and ordered us Chinese. We were talking and eating at the kitchen when her phone buzzed.
“Hey, it seems that Sarah went out for a smoke mid-class and when she got back Beth was the only one there, so they met the guys and have been hanging out. That bitch didn't even text me until now. Can you imagine how pissed I would be if I went home and had to stay locked out for hours?”
“You would be really angry. Thank goodness you have a knight in shining armour named Delphine” I laughed
“Absolutely. You're really fun to dork out and talk to.”
“Thank you...Err, can I ask you something?”
“How come each of your sisters have a different last name?”
“Um, we were separated at birth and adopted by different people. We are quadruplets, actually. Mrs. S had contacts at the adoption agency and when she was digging through Sarah's past she found out about us and called to arrange a meeting. Wow, that was two years ago. I was living in San Francisco until I came here, Alison is from a town nearby, Sarah lived in England with her foster mom and brother - I believe I said something about Mrs. S and Felix - and we don't know where Helena is, we are trying to get to know her.”
“It must be hard to be taken away from your sisters. I mean, even if you didn't know at the time. I'm sorry. But why did you all decide to move in together with Sarah's mom? What about your parents?” She was quiet and her eyes turned pretty sad, I haven't even seen them without the glow she carried and shared with others “Look, you don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable with it”
“Umm, sorry. It's kind of a sensitive topic for me, it's not you or anything. Its just that I haven't talked about this properly with almost anyone and I don't think I'm ready to share it, even if I consider you my friend” She smiled sadly
“It's okay, mon ami. Just know I'm here for you whenever you want. I'm gonna put my number in your phone so you can call or text me anytime. I'm really glad you consider me a friend, because I do too. It's been a while since I trusted someone and I think I really need that. Let me help you.”
“I think we both really need that, thanks. So, what's your story? You're French, right?”
“Out, I'm French. Err, to sum up, my parents are divorced, I lived with my father in Paris, he got married to an obnoxious lady, I had to go to a boarding school, there were some problems and I came here to live with my mother. I've been through some difficult times and I still have some crisis to manage, but I feel like the move and everything is a breath of fresh air. Maybe my luck is changing, I don't know” I gave her a shy smile
“Yeah, maybe it is." She smiled back "You can count on me too, you know. If you ever want to talk, do something, do nothing… anything at all.”
We continued talking until 8pm, when she had to go home. Only one day with her and I feel so much lighter. I was legitimately happy about getting to know her, I just had a feel she would be really special in my life.
I hope you have a merry Christmas! I'll be back before next year. Thanks for reading!
Chapter 3: Night reports
A few weeks later “the gang” was solid: Art, Beth, Alison, Tony, Cosima, Sarah, Felix (Sarah's little brother) and I. And even though Ali spent a lot of the time with the other cheerleaders, she continued hanging out with us, but I think it was mostly because of Beth. They got really close after Beth's first soccer game, when she impressed everyone with her awesome abilities, which she had to use at her next game against our school's main rival.
“Oi, losers! We're gonna go to a party after the game and I'm not taking no for an answer” Sarah told us at lunch
“Dude, Delphine and I have to do some lab reports” Cosima said
“Oh, so that's what kids are calling it these days” Tony smirked and Cosima punched his arm lightly
“Come on, Cos! The party ends at 10pm, Paul is a little twat and doesn't want to disturb the neighbors or whatever, you'll have time. Besides, it's Friday!”
“Let's go, Cos! We can do the report afterwards, I've never been to an American party!” I asked with my best puppy face
“Okay, but only because you asked so nicely”
When we arrived at the party it was already full of people and we heard the music as soon as we entered the street.
“Come on, Del! Let's get something to drink!”
Cosima was really excited pulling me through the sea of people dancing and taking me to the kitchen. She got herself a beer while I poured myself some wine I never heard of.
After my second cup I was already a little drunk and we started moving towards the living room where the music was the loudest.
Cosima's moves were completely hypnotizing. Her arms and hips flowed like waves. Maybe it was because she's from San Francisco, I don't know. Soon I started dancing with her, following her lead and even trying to sing musics I've never heard.
Suddenly, I felt someone grinding me from behind. It was making me really uncomfortable so I turned around to ask him - yes, I was sure it was a him - to stop.
“Hey, pretty girl! Why don't you come with me to a tour in this house?” A football player named Rudy asked with his intentions clear in his eyes
“Non, thank you”
“Oh, you're French! That's like totally hot! Do you enjoy lovers? Think your friend there wanna join us?” He was pointing at Cosima, who was staring at our interaction
“Come on, Frenchie! Just the two of us then”
“Dude, you heard the lady! Back the fuck off, jerk!” Cosima yelled
“Whatever, dyke!” He said and I couldn't contain myself, I slapped him right in the face
“Come on, Cos. Let's go home and do our report instead of wasting time with stupid jerks” I grabbed her hand and we walked to the door
“Duuude, you didn't have to do that. But thanks, you're really my knight in shining armour, aren't you?” She paused and looked to her side “Wait, are those Ali and Beth kissing?? Oh, Sarah owes me 20 bucks!”
“Let's go, Cos. Leave them to it, they'll tell everyone when they're ready”
We walked to my house and ate junk food to sober up a little before doing the report. We worked really hard to do our best and it was 1am when we finished it.
“Hey, I think it's best if you sleep here. It's too late for you to go back home. Just call Mrs. S and let her know where you are”
“Look, I would love to, but I have to be honest with you…” She paused and was looking really nervous “You know that thing that guy called me?” I nodded “Well, that's it. I mean, I prefer the term lesbian, but that's the idea. I know some people feel really uncomfortable sleeping near gay people or whatever. I don't really understand why, but I respect it. So if you-” I cut her out with a tight hug
“You're my best friend and I love you and accept you for who you are. Your sexuality is not the most important thing about you. Your heart is! And you have the biggest and nicest one I've ever seen!” I said letting go of her to look at her face and touch her heart
“Dude, look at you telling the lesbian how big and nice her boobs are!” She smirked
“Call Mrs. S, cheeky girl! She's probably worried sick”
“Yeah, yeah. Change the subject all you want, but you'll never hear the end of it”
“I'm sure I won't” I smiled
“Thank you so much for your support. I love you too.”
Chapter 4: Bloody history
A month passed by really smoothly. Delphine and I got to know each other more and we were inseparable. My feelings for her were kind of controlled by then. I mean, don't get me wrong, she's the most beautiful person in the world both inside and out, but she just needs a dorky friend right now, so that's what I'm gonna be.
She's been helping me so much and she has absolutely no idea. Just by being beside me I feel better and I'm pretty sure I've got that effect on her too. Sometimes she just looks so sad when I see her from a distance and when I get closer and she sees me, she smiles. Even though in the beginning it's kind of forced, it turns out to be the most pretty legit wonderful smile I've ever seen, as we talk and I make some cheeky comments. I really don't know what is this about, but when she's ready I'm pretty sure she's gonna talk to me.
The last time I heard from her was on Saturday. She sounded a little blue on the phone. It was probably because her grandma was in the hospital back in France and she couldn't visit her.
It was Monday when I got to school eager to make Delphine a little happier, but she was nowhere to be found. I asked around and no one in the gang had seen or heard from her, so I decided to send her a text.
-Hey, Del. I miss u at school. R u ok? I can come by to keep you company after I'm out of here. Xoxo-
I didn't get any reply from her. Maybe she went to France after all, she hadn't answered any of my many texts and calls. On Wednesday I got a call at lunch from a number I didn't recognise.
“Oh my god, Delphine! I was really worried about you! How are you?”
“Hi, Cosima. This is Delphine’s mom…”
“Oh, hi Ms. Cormier. What can I do for you? Is Delphine okay?”
“I'm afraid she's not.The principal called me and said she hasn't been at school since Friday. You see...her grand-mère passed away Saturday night and I'm sure she's trying to deal with it her own way, but I'm really worried. Especially with the things that happened in the past…” I wondered what did she mean by that? Is it the mysterious boarding school problem? “So… could you go by the house after school to check on her? The spare key is right under the rock on the porch.”
“Yeah, sure Ms. C. I'm really sorry for your loss. I'm gonna take great care of Delphine for you”
“Thanks, sweetie. Now I have to go, duty calls. Bye.” And with that I left school running full speed towards her house.
When I got there I knocked and no one answered, so I got the key and let myself in.
“Delphine? Where are you? Your mom asked me to check on you, I was really worried. I missed you so much.”
“Delphine? Come on, where are you?” I said as I went upstairs
“Cos-Cosima?” I heard a light sound it coming from the bathroom
“Hey Del, are you okay? Can I come in?”
“Pretty please? I swear I'm gonna take care of you. You know I love you, right? You're my best friend in the whole world and you're such an amazing person”
“I-I'm sorry Cosima... I love you too… I didn't mean for any of this to happen” she said struggling between sobs
“Del, any of what? What is happening?” she didn't answer
“Please, Del. Talk to me or I swear I'll break this door” Nothing
After trying to convince her for some time I couldn't take it anymore and opened the door. She was I'm the bathtub covered in red water.
“Oh my god, not again! Delphine? Come on, Del! Don't leave me! I love you! Please, don't leave me!” I said and immediately called 911. The ambulance got there quickly.
“Sweetie, we need to get her to the hospital. Do you wanna go with her? I don't believe her mom's around, right?” the paramedic asked me
“I'm not leaving her side. Could you take her to Toronto General? Her mom works there.” I said between sobs
“Of course, that's where we were going anyways”
When we got there, I was asked to wait outside her room. Her mom had already been paged and came crying in a few minutes.
“I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't help her. I didn't know what was happening. She was talking to me through the door and stopped answering. When I got in she was unconscious. I'm so sorry, Ms. C”
“Honey, it's okay. It's not your fault. Delphine’s just a really sensitive person. She has the biggest heart I've ever seen and carries it in her sleeves. She feels so much. She's such a special little girl. I wish I was there for her before, but now I'm gonna do everything in my power to make her happy.”
“You're a great mom, Ms. C. I'm gonna do everything I can to help her as well. She is my best friend and she has been there for me since I first met her. I don't want to remember how a life without her is like...” I stopped and thought about what she said for a moment before continuing “Wait… what do you mean by “before”?”
“Please, call me Sophie. And I'm sure you are going to help her, she's been so much better since she met you…” She sighed “Look, I can't tell you a lot, because it's not my place to do it, but this happened before”
“Oh… boarding school?”
“Oui” she said sadly
“Now I get it…” I paused “You know, this isn't the first time this happened to me either and last time it turned out pretty bad. But I genuinely think she's going to be okay. She's just so full of love, friends and potential. She has a bright future ahead of her and the Universe would not want to lose one of its best scientists and the most wonderful human being that's ever lived”
“I'm sorry about that, Cosima. You didn't deserve to go through this. Although I am really thankful that you got there in time. I don't know what I would do without her light in my life”
“Me neither…” I sighed “She just helps me so much and probably don't even know it. There are so many things I want to tell her, so many plans we made… We were hoping to go to the same university to study Biology. We are great lab partners and our brains function so well together. I feel like there's nothing in the world I couldn't do when I'm with her”
Her mom was looking at me with a weird look in her face, kind of like a sad smirk or something, but when she opened her mouth to talk, the doctor came out of Delphine's room.
“Hi, Sophie. I'm really sorry about this situation. Delphine is fine and she is going to physically recover in no time, but she needs to stay here for 72 hours in observation and I really suggest looking for a therapist. You can go in now, but just one at a time”
“Of course, Dr. Rowland. Thank you for taking such good care of my little girl.”
“No problem. I've gotta go now, but if you need anything just page me, eh?” The doctor said in a really caring tone
“Oui” She answered blushing
“Holy watershed! I'm so glad she's going to be okay”
“Me too, honey”
“By the way, I know it's really not my place to say it, but I think Dr. Rowland has a crush on you… And I'm pretty sure you have a crush on him… Go for it, Ms. C! - Oh, I mean, Sophie” Her face was as red as Delphine's when she gets embarrassed
“Hush, Cosima. You are very cheeky indeed. Now, you can go in to see her while I grab a coffee and give you some time. When I get back I'm going to stay the night with her and you'll go home and get some sleep, okay?”
“I wish I could stay here with her, but okay. I'll be back tomorrow” I said as I walked to her door
I got in and saw how beautiful she looked sleeping. I caressed her hair delicately and she opened her eyes.
“Hey” I said softly
“Hi” She gave me a sad smile
“How are you feeling?”
“I'm exhausted, but mostly I'm sorry” she said tearing up
“Hey, you don't have to apologize. I don't exactly know why you did it, but I'm here for you. All the way. Just promise me you will never leave me or even try to again. I love you” I kissed her forehead softly feeling the taste of my own tears
“I love you too, Cosima. I don't know what I was thinking, but I swear I'm not gonna do it again. I should've learned the last time that it doesn't solve anything, just brings pain and suffering for people around me. It's just that…” She started sobbing harder “I loved my grand-mère so much. Still do. And she was one of the people that loved me the most. She was there for me every time I needed her and she had so much faith in me, even when I didn't believe in myself she did. But now she's gone and I'll never live up to her expectations, I'll never be who she thought I was and even if I manage to do something good with my life she won't be there to see it.”
“Look” I took her hand in mine “I know how it is to lose someone you love. It's awful. You just have to know she'll always be right here with you” I pointed to her heart “And your time with her will always be dearly engraved in your memories. Besides, you said yourself that she was hurting a lot at the hospital. Now she's found peace. And I am surely not telling you that this is the answer to all of you problems. She had no choice, although I bet that if she had she would want to stay here to see all the things that you can accomplish and take care of you forever. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. She had to leave, but you got another chance here. A chance to prove yourself to her and especially to yourself. I know how amazing you are and so does your mom and the hole gang. You have to believe us. Believe me. I would never lie to you, you know that. I'm gonna be here with you every step of the way with all my cheekiness, bad jokes and love to remind you all the time how wonderful you are”
“Merci, Cosima. I love you so much. I don't know how I was going to get through all of this without you”
“Dude, you're never getting rid of me. I will hunt you down if I have to” I smiled
“I expected as much” She grinned
Chapter 5: Hookies
After getting some sleep at home, I went to school with my sisters and quickly sneaked out after we parted ways. I couldn't tell them what happened to Delphine. When they asked why she wasn't at school I just said it was the chickenpox and that I was helping her because I already had it as a child, but she wasn't comfortable being around more people.
Soon enough I got to the hospital and headed to her room.
“Where's my favorite girl?” I said as I knocked on the door. No one answered.
“Come on, Del. I'm gonna barge in if you don't answer me and you know it.”
“Fine, you asked for it, I just hope you are decent” I got in and started looking for her, but she wasn't there
“Del? Where are you? You gotta be fucking kidding me! Her mom is gonna kill me if she finds out I lost her in the hospital!” After that I just felt a hand pulling me towards the bathroom in the room
“What the f-” Delphine hugged me
“Bonjour, Cosima. I'm glad you're here, I really could use that pot smoking brain of yours.” She said showing me a pack of cigarettes and a lighter
“Oh, so you just want me here for my abilities?” I smirked
“Non, of course not! But since you're here you could help me find out a way to have a quick smoke without exploding the hospital or anyone finding out”
“First, how the hell did you get those?”
“Oh, I have my ways…”
“Of course you do, but I know you can go through a whole week without smoking and you shouldn't do it right now, just wait til Saturday at least”
“S'il te plaît, mon ami” She gave me her best puppy look
“Oooh, girl! Yolu like to play dirty, don't you? You can't throw some French around to get your way just because you know I can't resist it”
“Come on, Cos. I'm just so bored and being stuck here is completely awful” She pouted
“That's why I'm here. Plus, I brought the perfect treat to calm your cravings” I pulled my thermal lunch box out of my backpack
“What do you have there?”
“I can't believe you've known me for months and I'm just now giving you my favorite dessert of all time! I'm such a shit friend! Well, it's basically vanilla ice cream covered in chocolate, it's sooooooo good. Here, try it!” I handed her one and started opening mine up
“Don't say that, you're the best friend I could ever ask for” She stopped taking a bite “Mon Dieu, c'est délicieux!”
“Yeah, yeah. Flattery and French will get you anywhere”
“What is this?” I heard a stern familiar voice from behind me
“Hi, maman. Cosima was just giving me some quality breakfast”
“I wouldn't call ice cream a quality breakfast” She shot me a look
“Hey, it's nice to see you again as well!” I got up to hug her “Oh, and we couldn't wait until lunch. Someone was craving it and it would've melted.”
“Umhum… Speaking of craving, have you seen my lighter and my cigarettes?” We both looked at Delphine, who was red as an apple
“Here, Ms. C - um, I mean Sophie” I gave her things back “She didn't get around to smoke them, though”
“Thank you, Cosima. And you, chérie” She pointed at Delphine “You are going to behave and follow the doctor's orders. Cosima will tell me how it went later”
“Oooh, so powerful! By the way, how's that good looking doctor doing?” I smirked
“Brat!” Sophie scoffed leaving the room
“What was that about?” She asked suspiciously
“Nothing” I chuckled
“Are you and my mom best buddies now?”
Del gave me a hurt look and crossed her arms
“Hey, I'm kidding! You're still my best buddy, your mom is just a close second!” We laughed
“So, what are we going to do today? We could make sure our Biology assignment is good enough for an A” Del paused “Wait, why aren't you at school? Merde, you're stuck here with me while you should be there. What about our homeworks? We are missing so many classes! I'm sorry I put us in this position, I'm so stupid” Tears were streaming down her face
“Dude, chill out! I told you this is not anyone's fault, you don't have to apologize. Besides, I'm here because I want to and we are way ahead in most of our classes”
“You really want to be here?” She questioned sobbing
“Of course I do, there's nowhere I'd rather be”
Her eyes locked on mine and I felt the spark all over again. Shit, such a bad timing for the feelings to resurface.
“Not even at Galapagos islands studying turtles with Darwin himself?” She broke the uncomfortable silence and staring contest
“Not without my amazing lab partner”
“Thank you for staying with me” she smiled
“You're very welcome, but I'm gonna be the one having fun today. I'm gonna read you my favorite book! Though we may have to continue it tomorrow”
“Oooh, you brought “The Island of Doctor Monroe”?” I nodded grabbing the book “Aren't I a lucky girl?”
“You definitely are! I'm even throwing in the special sound effects”
I read for her through the doctor and nurses checking on her, through lunch and afternoon snacks and even bathroom breaks, but finally she was sleeping. I gave her a kiss in her forehead and started picking my things up while admiring her peaceful figure. I could stay with her all night, but I really had to go home.
“Where were you, Cosima?” I heard Mrs. S say from the porch as soon as I got in her sight
“Oh...umm… I was at the library”
“Oi, I know you are lying. Why don't you tell me the truth? Your school called and said you've been skipping class since yesterday afternoon. I'm pretty sure your sisters knew you weren't there, but they wouldn't tell me anything"
“Look I'll tell you, but you have to promise not to tell anyone”
“I promise that if you promise you'll tell me the truth”
“I will, let's go for a walk” I grabbed her hand and took her to a park nearby
“What's up with you, chicken?”
“It's- it's Delphine actually…” I sighed
“You told her how you feel and got rejected, didn't you?” I laughed sadly
“Oh, I wish that was the case. I really do”
“So, what is it?”
“She's at the hospital”
“What happened?” S asked worried
“Well, I'm gonna sum it up for you. Her grandma passed, she didn't go to school, her mom called me Wednesday at lunch and asked me to check on her after school, I got there, she was answering me, but then she wasn't” I took a deep breath and tried to hold back my tears “I broke into the bathroom and found her laying there the same way-” I couldn't talk anymore, the sobs got the best of me. Next thing I know, S was holding me and caressing my dreads
“That must've been so hard for you, chicken. Just know it's not your fault. I'm sure you are doing everything to help her, but you also have to help yourself to deal with your feelings. You know you can always count on me, right?”
“I know. Thank you so much for taking me in and helping me through everything. I love you, S.”
“I love you too, chicken. It's been my pleasure having you around, you're such a special girl with the biggest heart I've seen” She had tears in her eyes as well and we just stood there looking at the park for a while before going back home.
“Thank you so much for your help. I'm really sorry for bothering you. See you on Monday, bye!” I heard Ali whispering when I entered the room
“Who was that?”
“No one. Were you crying?”
“No, were you?”
“No” Her voice was a little shaky
“Hey, you can talk to me when you're ready, alright?”
“I know, you can too. But right now will you just hold me, please?”
“Of course, sis. I love you”
“I love you too, Cos”
Chapter 6: Doubts and fears
So, I should be studying for a test, but I'm here once again. I couldn't help myself so I wrote another chapter. Hope you like this!
“Merde! What’s this sound?” I woke up and started looking around the room searching for the source. It was my phone.
“Um, hey, Delphine… I’m really sorry for calling you, I know you have the chickenpox and you really need to rest, but I just wanted to talk to you. How are you feeling?” Alison sounded really sad, which was unusual for someone so good at acting
“I’m getting better, I think I’m going back to school on Monday. Are you okay, Ali?”
“No, not really. Um, I kinda need your input on something. I mean, I could talk to Cosima about it if you’re not feeling up for it, but I don’t know if this would be offensive to her or inappropriate or whatever. I’m just really confused and I thought of telling you about it so you could give me your opinion on the matter”
“Of course. I’m always here for you. Is this about Beth?”
“H- how did you know?”
“Um, Cosima and I saw you two when we were leaving that party a while ago. Don’t worry, we didn’t tell anyone about it.”
“Thank you, Del. I’m not ashamed of her or anything, I’m just really confused. I always thought I was straight and would fall in love with a great guy, move to the suburbs, have kids, the whole shebang. Sorry, poor choice of words. But now with Beth I’m just not sure this is for me, it’s so different from my plans”
“Look, you can have all that with Beth too. You like her, right?”
“So, just go with the flow. If you want to be with her right now, do it. The future isn’t set in stone. You said it yourself you’re full of surprises.”
“I guess… But what about my sexuality? Am I bisexual, lesbian, what? Will people treat me differently?”
“You don’t have to label yourself. Just be who you are and love who you want, chérie. And yes, some people will treat you differently, but those are assholes. They are not worth it. Just think about all the love and support you have from the gang. I’m sure you won’t lose it for anything in the world.”
“I know… Can I ask you a personal question?”
“Oui, you don’t have to ask that”
“How did you know you are straight? Well, this is not how this question usually goes” We chuckled
“Actually, I don’t know. I have kissed boys and I feel attracted to them. I have also felt a deep connection to a girl, but I’m not really sure it’s sexual related or just deep admiration or something. I don’t need to know for sure, as long as I’m not leading anyone on or hurting them, I can take my time to find out”
“Yeah, you’re right. Does Cosima know about this open minded side of yours?”
“About me questioning my sexuality? I don’t think so. Why?”
“Oh, it’s just that I think that she could help you with that”
“Yes, I’m sure she could. She could also help you, you know? You should talk to her when you feel ready”
“I will. Anyways, I think she just got home, I have to hang up. If she finds out I called you she’s gonna kill me for disturbing you while you are sick.”
“Don’t worry about it. Talk to Cosima and then to Beth, okay? Just follow your heart”
“Thank you so much for your help. I'm really sorry for bothering you. See you on Monday, bye!” And with that she hung up
I’m really glad I could help her. But this was a terrible time to put these ideas in my head. I was stuck in this room and didn’t have any distractions.
Do I really like Cosima like that? The sparkles I feel are romantic or completely platonic? I never felt this way about anyone. Merde, I think I do like her. Does she feel our connection? Is she attracted to me? I wish I could talk to my grand-mére about this. She was so insightful and open minded. She probably would have told me to follow my heart, but of course she would give me some beautiful speech about love, friend and happiness or something really sappy like that... Should I tell her what I feel? I mean, I know she’s a lesbian, but what if she just wants to be my friend? I’m too much trouble for her, not nearly good enough. She’s the most incredible person I know and she chose me as a friend, I shouldn’t ruin that. But if she likes me we could have something great. We could get through college together, get married, work at some big biology research company or teach at some university, we could have kids or adopt them… Shit, I’m going too far. I can’t risk losing her from my life if this is unrequited. I’m just going to suppress this and, if one day I get a sense that she wants this too, maybe I’ll tell her. Or maybe not, I could lose her this way too, I don’t kn-
“Bonsoir, ma belle. What’s on your mind? You didn’t even hear me come in with our dinner” Ma man said
“Oh, it's nothing. I'm just so bored”
“I’m sorry, chérie. There's not much to do around here. Didn't you have fun with Cosima?”
“I always do” I grinned “She read me her favorite book, but I slept and she had to go home. Alison called me today, apparently I have the chickenpox” We chuckled
“It was really nice of Cosima to stay here with you and respect your privacy”
“Yes, it was. But now you'll have to sleep in a while and I'll be up alone with my thoughts”
“Oh, sweetie. I'm sorry I can't stay up with you and Cosima can't stay the night, but why don't you read that book?” She pointed to the table in my room
“What is that?” She handed it to me
The book was perfectly wrapped in a red paper. I knew this was Cosima's doing. I opened it and saw it was “Le Petit Prince”, one of my favorite books as a child. There was a card too.
“Hey, Del! I thought you could use some distraction while I'm not there to read my book for you, but I couldn't just leave “The Island of Doctor Monroe” there. It wouldn't be fair to you because you would miss my famous sound effects. So, here it is. If you like, you could read it to me sometime. I sure as hell am not going to butcher you language. Love you xo (PS: I'm sorry I left when you were sleeping, but you looked so peaceful I couldn't wake you. See you tomorrow!)” I couldn't stop smiling
“It's from Cosima, isn't it?” I nodded “Well, she's a great friend, you should keep her around. Unless you're going through a rebel phase and only want the worst company you could get. Then, she's a really bad girl” I laughed
“Don't worry, maman. I'm going to do everything I can to be with her as long as she'll have me… as her friend”
“Bien sûr” She smirked “I'm going to sleep now, if you need anything just ask someone to page me or call me yourself. I'll be right down the hall”
“Sleep well!” I kissed both of her cheeks
After she left I just knew I had to call Cosima to thank her for the present. Maybe talking to her would be the key to sleep fast. I always feel safe and comfortable when I do that.
“Hey! What happened? Are you okay? I can be there in 10 minutes if I ask S to take me” she worried
“What was it that you said? “Dude, chill”! I'm fine, Cosima. I'm just calling to thank you for the book. It was one of my favorites growing up. I thought I could read it for you until you sleep”
“Ooh, Cormier! I'm not gonna deny you the pleasure of throwing your French charm on me like that! Just let me go to my room, one sec” Was she flirting with me or just being her cheeky self? “I'm ready for history time!”
“Shut the fuck up, Cos! I can't sleep with you talking” I heard Sarah yell
“So, I'm pretty sure you heard that. I'm gonna let you do all the talking from now on. Good night, Del”
“Good night, Cosima! So, I'm going to start. Premier chapitre…” I spoke really softly so she would sleep easily.
After the second chapter I could only hear her heavy breathing with some light snores.
“Bonne nuit, ma chérie” I said hanging up
Saturday came faster than I expected. A whole week in a world without Mémé. Her amazing stories, amazing food, great advices, comforting words and loving embrace were lost forever. It's not fair, you know? She really wanted to see me graduate, get married and have kids. That's never going to happen.
“Guess w- Ooh Del, I'm here for you” Cosima rushed to embrace me when she entered the room and saw me crying “This must be a difficult day for you. You went through so much in just a week. I'm here, okay? Cry all you want. You are so brave. You are going to get through all of this.”
“I just miss her so much” I managed to say while sobbing hard “You know, you're a lot like her.”
“It means a lot to me to be compared with someone so amazing. I mean, I don't know a lot about her, but I know she loved you very deeply and meant a lot to you, so I'm flattered.” She paused “Wait, do you want me to go and give you some space or something?”
“Non, non. Just stay here like this with me, please.”
She held me for what felt like hours. Slowly, I started to calm down, but kept the contact until I broke the silence.
“Cosima?” She looked me in the eyes “Thank you, I feel a little better. I'm sorry I'm such a mess”
“Hey, we're all messed up. I'm glad you're feeling better… Umm, I kinda planned something for later, but we're only going if you feel up to it, alright? I already talked to your mom and she said we could go there before I take you home”
“How are you taking me home? Are we going by bus?”
“No, silly! Your mother let me drive your car, if you allow it, of course?”
“Do you even have a driver's license?”
“Actually, I do! Take a look at this baby.” I never saw a picture so good like that one
“You look amazing! My photograph is just horrible in that thing”
“I'm pretty sure it's impossible for someone to take a bad picture of you”
“Oh, it is! Maybe you'll see it sometime”
“I showed you mine, it's only fair now that you show me yours” She smirked “Speaking of that… guess who finally got their head outta their ass?”
“Alison?” Cosima looked at me surprised
“Yeah, how did you know?”
“Oh, she called me and we talked a little bit about her… umm… situation with Beth and all”
“I knew she was talking to you! I can't believe she bothered you with that!”
“Cosima, it's fine. Really. It felt good to help someone, even if just a little bit. What did you say to her?”
“The usual. That sexuality is a spectrum and she doesn't need a label because the only thing that matters is that she likes Beth and she shouldn't listen to anyone that try to make her feel bad about it... A little after we had that talk Beth called me too, but that's all sorted out and they're fine”
“Was Beth having the same concerns?”
“No” Cos laughed “She is way passed the “holy shit, I like girls” stage. It was the good old “damn, I fell for a straight girl and I'm about to get my heart broken”. So I just told her that I think that Alison really care about her, but that she needed to be protect her feelings until she decides whether she wants that or not”
“You're really wise, mon ami… How did you know you like girls?”
“Umm… Why miss Cormier? Having doubts yourself?”
“I'm curious… You don't have to answer if you don't want to, obviously…”
“No, no, no, it's fine. I'm just messing with you. Well, now I feel like I kinda always knew. But the truth is that I didn't know exactly how to read into the different feelings I had towards girls. I feel like the whole compulsory heterosexuality really messed me up. I was really scared and, after I first had the guts to kiss a girl I had a crush on, it backfired because she didn't like me that way and all. It took me a while to recognize that I am a lesbian and make peace with the fact that I would have some unrequited crushes and get treated differently sometimes just because I am who I am.” She inhaled sharply “At that point no one besides the girls I kissed knew I'm a homosexual. Truth came out some time later and then I moved here. Now I feel comfortable and with enough support to openly talk about it. It feels nice to do it and apparently I'm the lesbian guru of the gang. Though I'm sure they've had much more action than I have”
“Oh, you haven't…?”
“No, I mean, almost… I got interrupted and… Well, I just didn't have another opportunity to finish what I started. Have you…?”
“Non, boarding school wasn't the best place for it and I never really liked anyone there”
“I get it. Besides, we should all move at our own pace. There's no need get all crazy planning something that probably won't even happen the way you thought. The future isn't set in stone, we need to embrace that fluidity”
“That's what I told Ali. Well, that she shouldn't worry about her relationship not being like she always thought it would.”
“Very wise, milady. Now, shall we go look for that hot doctor of yours?” I looked at her confused. “Don't look at me like that. I can appreciate a hot guy, even if I don't want to bang him! And I'm not the one who has the hots for him” My eyes widened
“I'm pretty sure. I'll know if for certain after our next traditional BFF’s slumber party. I know she's just dying to tell me” Cosima laughed
“You're such a brat! I don't need to think about what maman may or may not do in those on call rooms”
“Fine! I'll be back in a minute”
Soon after that I was discharged and maman took us to my car.
“Drive safe, I'll be home when you get back! Have fun!” My mother shouted
“What are we doing, Cos?”
“Umm, it's a surprise. Not exactly a good one, but I think it's something you need right now. If you don't like it, we can always skip straight to the ice cream”
“Okay, let's see”
Cosima was a rusty driver. Until she got used to my car, our ride was pretty bumpy. Finally, she stopped at the park near her house. It looked really beautiful in the autumn, especially around the lake.
“So…?” I asked
“Look, I don't exactly know how you deal with these things, but I thought it would help to throw a little memorial for your grandma” My eyes filled with tears “It's far from what she deserved, but I got some white lillies - your mom told me they were her favorites - and I just thought that maybe you'd like to say a few words so that you can mourn your loss. Well, I'm gonna sit in that bench near the river and you can just do whatever you want. I'll be there for you at all times and you can just go sit with me. Though I may not exactly believe in life after death, I know that if something like that is real she'll be glad to hear from you. And if it's not, the piece of her inside your heart will be a little comforted. I think. I really don't know. Or we could just go home if you prefer. Get some ice cr-”
“Cosima, will you stop rambling? Thank you for that, I really appreciate the thought you put into this and I'm gonna try to connect with her, believing or not. I need to say goodbye, even if I could not go to France to do it, I'm sure she would appreciate this”
“Alright, let's go.” We got closer to the river “Remember, I'll be sitting right here if you need me. I'll give you privacy. Here are the flowers.”
I sat on the grass near the lake's margins and looked around. It was a beautiful day with a cold breeze. I took in a deep breath and got ready for the tears I knew would come.
“Bonjour, Mémé. I don't know if you are listening to me right now, but there are some things I need to say to you. First, I love you so very deeply and I will keep loving you forever. I miss you so much, you have no idea. I'm really sorry for not being there for you in the past few months, you know how busy I was with school around here and you weren't able to talk to me and, yes, I know you would probably not accept my apologies saying that you are proud of me for always giving my best at school.” I was already a complete wreck but kept going “You had the utmost confidence in me and I'll probably never live up to your standards. Not that you cared about it at all, I just really wanted to make you happy. I'm not going to be a doctor as you always dreamed I would be. My family may not be as you thought. I might not even succeed in Biology. - Yes, that's what I've chosen to do - And it's... okay? I guess. This move was really hard on me, especially after losing you, but I know now I am surrounded with love and support. Umm… if you're hearing this, you probably have seen what I tried to do this week. I'm sorry for that too. I just isolated myself so much since your passing and I couldn't bare to live in a world without you in it. I really wanted you at my graduation, my wedding and everything good and bad through my life. Although physically that's impossible, I'm certain you continue to live in a huge part of my heart for the remainder of my life. I'll hold our memories together in a special place in my mind and heart. I miss you a lot and very dearly. This is a good bye for now, but I'll keep updating you as I go. I promise you every time I see the sky at night I'll search for the brightest star so I can feel your light propagating from you even after you're gone, just like you told me to do when I lost my cat Marie and needed some comfort. - By the way, if you're with her somewhere in this giant universe, please caress her head the way I did and give her a lot of treats - Anyways, I've got to keep moving forward in my life. That doesn't mean you were ever a setback. It's your strength, your love, your warmth and your light that are pushing me through the pain and suffering and inspiring me to be the best that I can. I really hope you are resting in peace and that I'll meet you again someday. Je t'aime toujours.”
With that I let the flowers be washed by the water in the lake and just sat there crying and holding myself. After a while Cosima went by my side and held me tight, with my head comfortably nested in her shoulders. She didn't say a word. She didn't have to. Being there for me was more than enough I could ask for. We stayed like that until the sun disappeared into the night and the stars showed up. My star was there. Even though I'm not used to believe in things like that, it consoled my heart. A few more minutes and I was ready to go home and deal with everything. I rose and pulled Cos by her hand.
“Come on, let's get that ice cream you promised me”
“Eskimo Pie again?” She gave me a warm smile
“Of course, I wouldn't trade it for any other” I met her grin
Well, this got very emotional for me because I lost my grandma recently and also there's the sexuality thing and all. Even though this isn't about me, I can't help it but project a little on the characters, so sorry about that. Enjoy!
Chapter 8: Visits
Delphine and I were walking towards our usual table to have lunch when we saw that everyone there was smashed together whispering about something. Her eyes widened in despair.
“Del, relax. This is not about you, I didn't tell them” I squeezed her hand in reassurance and she tried to smile
“Yo, why the fuck are you guys whispering?” I said as we reached the table
“Dreads, you wouldn't believe it if we told you!” Tony answered
“So, I threw a little party at my place on Saturday - totally missed you and Goldilocks, by the way - and Sarah got totally shitfaced as usual, you know? Well, she disappeared for a while and when Beth and Ali found her she with Cal. Fucking. In. My. Bed.”
“What?! That's fucking crazy! Cal is completely not her type” I said laughing loudly
“Cos, keep it down! She'll kill us if she hears us talking about this!” Beth whispered
“She's my sister, it's my duty to tease her!” I smirked “By the way, what were you and Ali doing at Tony’s room?”
“Hush, Cosima! It's none of your business” Ali said as her face reddened and tried to change the subject “Hey, Del. I'm glad you are feeling better! We wanted to visit you, but Cosima threatened to kill us if we did so”
“I missed you guys. But I was not really comfortable with visitors. Cosima is just really stubborn and wouldn't leave me alone.” Del looked at me and gave me a little smile “She helped me a lot, though”
“Yeah, yeah. Cosima is an angel. Now scooch over” Sarah told me harshly
“Oh, who would've thought you would be in a bad mood after such a lovely time at Tony's party?” I scoffed
“So, I guess the little lezzers told you. You know, there are much better ways to use your mouths” She looked at the newest couple.
Soon after that the bell rang and we had to go to our classes. I told Del to meet me by her car so we could finish last week's homework after school. She was taking a long time to get out of gym class so I decided to catch up on some reading for the history assignment. It was about World War II and the effect it had to the minorities that were severely repressed by the Nazis. I was so caught up in the book that I only notice my phone ringing after a while.
“Hello?” I answered it
“Hi, stranger! It's Shay…” She paused “Hold on, did you delete my number?”
“Hey, Shay! Dude, of course not! I was just reading and you know…”
“Guess some things never change. How are you doing in that freezing hell?”
“Oh, I'm fine. I'm just hanging out with my sisters, making new friend, that sort of thing. How about you?”
“I'm great, thanks. Actually, I called because I have some good news”
“What is it?”
“In a few weeks I'm gonna visit my aunt in Toronto and I thought you could show me around town. I've really missed you…”
“Really? That's completely awesome! I've missed you too. We are gonna have so much fun”
“Alright then, gotta go. I'll text you later so we can plan something nice. See you, bye”
“Bye” I smiled and looked up to find Delphine looking at me
“Hey, Del! How was class?”
“A little too rough, but okay. How was yours?”
“Same old, same old”
“Did you let Mrs. S know that we're going to study at my place?”
“Um, no. I mean, not yet. I was just talking to Shay on the phone. She's coming to Toronto and wanted to hang out” Del seemed confused
“Who is Shay?”
“Umm, she is the one I told you about… We, umm… We almost…”
“Oh, oui. I remember now. That's good, you will have a lot of fun” She smiled, but I was not buying it “Shall we go home?”
“Yeah, let's go”
We arrived at her house and followed our study routine. We ended up finishing everything in a few hours and ordering Chinese, but I needed to get home because S was gonna be late and Ali went out with Beth, so I had to keep the house together until she got there. If you think about it that's pretty ironic, I am the one the clumsy one that used to almost burn down the house after I cooked.
“See ya tomorrow, Del?”
“Dude, that's beautiful. Still gotta answer me in English though. I promise you I'll study French so I don't need to make you translate almost every time”
“It means “of course”. You don't need to do that, but if you want I could teach you”
“That's a deal! Wanna go to the library after school tomorrow?”
“Umm, non… I, umm... I have therapy…”
“Del, that's great. I hope you feel comfortable talking to him or her. You can always count on me too, okay? Now I've gotta go before Sarah and Felix trash the house”
“Thank you. Bye”
“See ya” I yelled after I got out of the car and entered the house
“You bloody idiot, what the fuck is wrong with you?” I heard Sarah
“Fuck off! It's not my fault the assholes couldn't stand their jealousy. I'm perfect and gay, what can I do?” I saw that Felix had a huge bruise in his eye
“Hey, guys. What happened with your eye, Fe?”
“More like his whole fucking face! This fucking twat went to school in full rainbow glittery gear and got beat up!”
“I wear what I want! No one should have a say in it. Besides, if you're so angry you should go there and kick their willowy arses”
“Look, Fe. I'm just looking out for ya. I care about you and don't wanna see you get hurt”
“I agree with Sarah” She gave me a disbelieving Look “In parts. I mean, I don't wanna see you get hurt either, but I don't think you shouldn't wear what you want ‘cause you think people will beat you up for it. I believe you should keep being yourself and if something happens again just tell someone. We are in Canada, homophobia is a crime, you know?”
“Yeah, I get it. I'm gonna take a hot bath. I can't get stress wrinkles in my pretty little face” He said leaving the room
“You're just a teenager, Fe!” Sarah shouted
“Sar, can I talk to you?”
“Aren't you already talking?”
“Cos, I'm just fucking with you. I'm not that bitchy. Shoot”
“So… Shay is coming to Toronto in a few weeks and she wants to hang out”
“Ooooh, lesbian drama… You afraid of seeing her again or what?”
“Yeah, I'm a little scared. It's been a while and things ended quite abruptly. Damn, I had to move to another country. It was not fair to either of us. It wasn't our choice.”
“Still in love with her?”
“I don't think so” I shook my head
“So just hang out with her”
“But what if she wants to do more than just hang out?”
“You mean, what if she wants to do you?” I nodded “Well, if you want to have sex with her you should do it. You said it yourself you had a good connection and all. But I know you can get too attached to people. Just protect your heart, be careful”
“I really don't think that's the case” I snorted
“Because you're already too attached to someone else?” Sarah smirked
“Rig- No, of course not. It's just that we haven't talked for a while”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Cos"
Chapter 9: Pizza night
- Hey, Del. Pizza night at my house. Wanna come? The whole gang is coming to meet Shay-
-Okay, I'll be there in 20-
I hadn't seen Cosima outside school the whole week Shay’d been here. I really missed my geek monkey. But I definitely wasn't looking forward to meet Shay. Sarah and Ali met her earlier that week and they said Cosima was a completely different person around her. I couldn't believe it. She has such a huge and unique personality. So quickly I went there to see for myself.
“Hi, Del! Come in!” Cos greeted me and moved so I could see Shay behind her “This is Shay. Shay, this is my best friend Delphine”
“Cos, how can you be just friends with this hot piece of ass?” Shay turned to me “Hi, I'm Shay”
“Delphine, enchantée” We shook hands and she looked at Cosima again
“She is French too? Are you stupid or what?” Cos just gave me a nervous chuckle and I was completely pissed with the way her ex girlfriend was treating her
“She is the smartest person I know” she smiled at me
“Well, let's eat. I'm starving. I can't understand why we had to wait” Shay said
“Because it is not polite to eat until everybody is here” Alison shouted from the kitchen
“Oi, Frenchie! You want a beer?”
“No, thanks. I'm driving” I pulled her to the side “What is going on with those two?”
“Cosima is bloody blind, that's what's going on. She can't see that Shay is a real bitch and just wants to keep her around her little finger. She lives far as fuck, for God's sake”
“I don't know why Cos likes her so much” I shrugged
“That makes two of us. Just don't let it get to you. She's leaving in a few days and everything is going back to normal. But let me warn you, she might hit on you. A lot. I mean, she's been hitting on me and Ali since we met every time Cos leaves the room and sometimes in front of her too”
“I'll try my best”
The whole night went on like that. Shay was treating Cosima like an idiot and she didn't say a thing or just agreed with her. Besides, she was shamelessly flirting with everyone right in front of Cos. After the pizza they planned to watch some ridiculous movie Shay liked, but I couldn't take it any longer.
“I'm going home now. See you.” I told everyone
“Come on, Del. Let's watch the movie” Cos ran outside the door to get me
“I don't want to, Cosima”
“Why? Did something happen? I thought everyone was being nice to you”
“But not to you. I can't stand you being treated like you're stupid and acting like a complete different person!”
“What? What are you talking about? I'm the same as always!”
“You don't believe me?”
“No, I think you're just jealous” I laughed
“I'm not jealous, I'm French! We enjoy lovers! If you don't believe me, ask your sisters!”
“I think I would've noticed if I changed” She huffed
“Well, you didn't. And I get it, she was your first girlfriend and you have a big heart, but this is not fair to you. You deserve someone that hears you dork out and ramble for as long as you want and even join you in that sometimes. Someone that loves, accepts and supports. You don't need to change to be loved, Cosima”
“And I haven't changed, Delphine. Gosh! What's happening with you? Do you want me to live in a fucking fairytale? Where do I find this perfect woman, huh? Do I pull her out of my ass? Do I wait my whole life for her just to realize she doesn't exist?”
“That's not what I'm saying”
“It is! Dammit! I like Shay and she likes me back. I'm single. She's single. Why do you have to complicate everything? Do you want me to just sit around you and give you all my attention all the time? Why don't you just lock me in your house to have me all to yourself?” I felt tears gather in my eyer
“Putain de merde, Cosima! I didn't say any of that! Stop putting words in my mouth!”
“Then stop saying shit about Shay and I!”
“Whatever, I'm going home. If you find my best friend, tell her to give me a call” With that I stormed out and cried on my way home.
As I got there I saw the lights on, which was odd because my mom was at work so I typed 911 in my phone and got my umbrella in case I needed to defend myself. I opened the door slowly and took a look inside just to find my mom sitting in the couch.
“Maman? What are you doing home?” I got her attention
“Oh, hi!” She looked at me from head to toe “Were you planning on hitting me with that umbrella?”
“Non, I thought someone broke in. I thought you were working tonight. I would've stayed in with you if I knew” I sat beside her
“That's okay chérie” She kissed my forehead “Are you crying because you got scared or did something happen at Cosima's?”
“What? How did y-”
“Come on sweetie, you have been inseparable. I just figured. Are you going to tell me what happened?”
“Um, it's nothing”
“You don't need to talk to me if you don't want to, but you know I give some good advices”
“Oui, I know” I stopped to think “Well, okay. Cosima's ex is in town and she's different around her and completely complacent even when being humiliated. So I told everyone I was going home, but she went after me and we argued” I started tearing up again
“Oh, mon coeur. These things happen. It's just a fight, she'll come around” She embraced me and caressed my back
“She won't, maman. She's not the Cosima I know. I lost her” I sobbed
“Del, she just needs to open her eyes remember who she is. Besides, this ex of hers isn't going to be here for long, is she?”
“Non, she goes back in a few days”
“So? Just give it time. Once she gets her head out of her ass, she'll see you are here for her. And if she doesn't maybe she doesn't deserve being your friend after all. Or maybe you'll just have to try to talk to her to give her a little push to see the light”
“I don't know, maman. I really don't. I miss her”
“I know you do, honey” She sighed “Can I ask you a question? You don't have to answer if you feel uncomfortable, but maybe you can think about it”
“Do you like Cosima?”
“Duh, of course I do. She's my best friend and has been helping me through a lot”
“Non, I meant like like her”
“Well” I inhaled sharply “I don't want to talk about it”
“That's okay sweetie. You have time to figure it all out. You know I love you no matter what, right? But, if you do like her, tell her. I think you'd be surprised with the results of that” She smirked
“I'll think about it. I'm going to bed now, thanks for the talk. Good night, maman. Je t'aime” I rose from the couch and kissed her cheek
“Je t'aime aussi, mon bébé”
Chapter 10: Farewell
Another day, another chapter. I'm on vacation now so I'll try to post more than once a week. Thank you for the reviews, kudos and support!
The next day I completely lost track of time. I buried myself in books and I probably would've forgotten to eat if my mom wasn't there. I hadn't heard from Cosima the whole day, so it was good to distract myself. Though one would think this was a terrible way to spend your Saturday, it was what I needed.
After I finished reading the books I got from the library that week, I started to look for another one. It was late, but I knew if I went to bed I wouldn't stop thinking about her. I kept searching my room only to find out I've read everything I owned, except one that I did read in the past, but haven't finished last time. It was “Le Petit Prince”. I couldn't help but smile at the memories it brought back. Even though I went through hell, Cosima's support meant a lot to me. She was always so caring and unique. I wondered what happened to her that week. I didn't recognize her. I cried at the thought of losing her friendship forever for hours. I laid in my bed, but couldn't sleep tormented by my own mind. It was 1 am when I heard my phone ringing. It was her.
“Cosima?” I heard sobs and music on the background
“I'm sorry, Del. I'm so sorry. I missed you”
“Cosima, are you drunk?”
“Yeah, I'm sorry about that too. I shouldn't have called” She cried harder
“Where are you? Are you okay? Are you safe?”
“I don't know”
“That's it, I'm going to pick you up. Send me your location”
“Delphine, you don't need-”
“This is not up for discussion, Cosima. Send it to me and I'll be there as soon as I can”
“Okay” She sent it to me “Del?”
“Thank you… And I'm sorry”
“It's okay, Cos. I'm leaving right now, I'll be there in 30”
I drove as fast as I could to get there. When I arrived I saw a house full of people with loud music and Cosima sitting in a bench a little further down the street.
“Hi, Cos. How are you?” She jumped to my arms and we held each other tightly
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. So sorry. You were right”
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” I said while sitting down at the bench and pulling her next to me
“Shay and I came to this party with her cousin. She wanted to, umm, you know… But I started getting sick so… not in the mood” Cosima's eyes were all teared up “She got mad...She was the one that pushed me to drink that much. She started yelling at me and saying that the best thing that happened for everyone in San Francisco was me leaving... And other hurtful stuff. Then she asked me to give you this and stormed out” She handed me the paper crying.
-Still have a few days in town. Call me, beautiful xoxo-
“Putain! I swear to you if I see her again I'll-”
“Calm down, Del. And I thought I was pissed...” She chuckled lightly
“Cos, you didn't deserve that bitch. You are so smart, caring and kind. It's her loss. You are amazing, you shouldn't have to change who you are for anyone. If they don't accept you, they shouldn't be with you. Come with me, you can stay at my place”
“I realize that now. But don't you think it's time we admit what this is really about?” She said leaning in and catching my lips with hers. It took me a few seconds to really understand what was happening and push her away.
“Cosima?!” What had just happened?
“Shit, sorry. I'm wasted and you are not…” I could only nod in response
“We- We should go now”
“Sorry, Del” She got in the car
“If you get sick let me know”
“Mmkay” Cos laid back her head and closed her eyes.
After getting home with only one stop so she could throw up and putting her to sleep I stayed wide awake sitting on the kitchen and drinking tea. - What did that mean? Does she likes me as more than a friend? Do I like her back? I mean, that kiss was short, but it was great. Completely different from the others in a good way. I think our friendship bond just transferred to the kiss or something. It's not like I want to be with her or anything. Although it would not be the worst thing in the world… She's the most wonderful girl I've ever met, I would be incredibly lucky if I dated someone like her...-
“Delphine, what are you doing up?” My mom said when she got back from work
“I couldn't sleep… I, umm, I had to pick Cosima up and she's sleeping here”
“What about the ex?”
“Gone and a real bitch”
“They were at a party and Cosima didn't want to… You know… So they fought and she left her in a place she didn't know in the middle of the night”
“Fortunately she has you, right?”
“Chérie, please be honest with me. What's on your mind?”
“She kissed me, maman. But she was pretty drunk, I don't even think she'll remember it” My mom sighed
“Do you want her to remember?”
“I don't know. I don't want to lose her again”
“I still think you should talk to her…”
“I don't know what it means, I'm just going to mess up her life even more”
“You won't, honey. Both of you should be honest about your feelings. If you just wants to be friends explain that to her, but be careful so you won't hurt her feelings - which are pretty obvious at this point”
“What if she doesn't want to be just friends?”
“I don't think that's the case. You two developed something great. Only someone stupid would look past that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll try to get some sleep. We can talk more later, okay?”
“Oui, maman. Good night”
Chapter 11: Ice, baby
Things between Del and I had never been so weird. There was such a strange vibe every time we were in the same room, especially by ourselves. This couldn't go on any longer, especially with Delphine's birthday that week. The whole gang was trying to plan a surprise for her. We discussed skiing, ice skating, bowling, partying… everything you could imagine, but we settled in ice skating on a rink downtown. Ali told me Toronto was magically beautiful and romantic around Christmas time. I wished I had a girlfriend to cuddle up in the couch and warm me as we passed the streets full of light and Christmas decoration. I wished it was a certain French blonde, but I knew she didn't feel the same way. We were better off as friends anyway.
“Cosima, are you listening to me?” I heard Del’s voice snap me out of my thoughts
“Um, yeah, sure… Cells, cloning, all that...” I wasn't listening at all
“So no, right? I was talking about Saturday… My mom told me she wants to buy me a cake, but I really don't know which flavour to get”
“Umm, Eskimo Pie?”
“I don't think they make Eskimo Pie cake…”
“Yeah, maybe you're right. Dunno… chocolate?”
“Mon Dieu, why didn't I think of that? Cos, what's wrong with you? You've been acting really strange all week”
“Me? What about you? Every time we are left alone you give me some lame excuse to run out”
“I know, I just… I don't know what to do, I think we need to talk”
“No, Del. Let's just forget about it. I was really drunk and I'm sorry I put you in this position”
“I've gotta go home now. See you” I said almost running away
I couldn't talk to her, because if I did I'd have to lie to her about my feelings or admit them and have to deal with her breaking my heart. It would be hard to keep being best friends. Anyways, I didn't have to worry about that. I just needed things to go back to normal and plan her birthday surprise. Everything had been arranged by Friday. We would take her out to ice skate and then there was a little surprise party ate her house organized by her mom.
“Happy birthday, Del!” I yelled storming into her room with balloons
“Thanks, Cosima! Those are beautiful” She grinned
“Dude, if you think these are nice just wait to see what we have planned for you today. And oooh… your present… totes amazing if I do say so myself”
“What is it?” I shook my head “Come on, you know I can't stand the suspense” Del whimpered
“No way I'm telling you, Sarah would probably kill me. Allons-y, we have somewhere to be!”
“Oooh how nice, working on your French, I see. I'm ready, allons-y!” With that we left and went outside to meet everyone waiting for us
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” Everyone yelled in unison
“Merci! So… where are we going?”
“Bloody hell, Del! It's a surprise!” Sarah answered
“How can I drive if I don't know where we're going?”
“You won't, I'll drive and you just enjoy the ride. Come on, let's go. Sarah and Fe, you're coming with us, the rest of you are going on Beth's car”
The ride there only took half an hour. Downtown couldn't look more beautiful. Christmas lights and trees filled the square along with a huge carousel near the rink.
“Dude, we're totes going on that carousel later”
“No way, I'm still sick from the drive here. Cosima, you drive like an animal”
“It's not that bad, Fe! Right, Del?”
“It's pretty scary, but we survived. Let's rent our ice skates”
I took some time putting them on and it was time to get to the ice. I'd never done that before, so even standing up was hard. Everyone was already skating - or trying to. Beth and Ali were going smoothly while the others were clinging to the bars around the rink. Except for Delphine. Del was like a pro. She just passed through so effortlessly spinning and jumping with the musics that were playing. I was decided to join her and see the magic up close, but as soon as I got in the rink my butt was on the ice.
“Whoa! Here, let me help you get on your feet” Del appeared by my side
“I'm beginning to think this isn't a good idea at all. Maybe it's better if I stick to the carousel”
“Nonsense, I'll teach you”
“Okay. I'll give it a shot, but don't let me-” I wobbled a little and she held me tighter “-fall. Thanks”
“I won't let you go, alright? Just hold my arm or my hand and follow my lead”
“Oooh I'll make sure to hold you really tight, professor Cormier” I wiggled my eyebrows
“Cheeky girl! Maybe I'll leave you by yourself and just circle the rink showing off my knowledge and looking for kind students” She let go of my hand
“No, no, no! Come back here! I'll be kind, I swear!” I said almost falling, but then she caught me
“I'll give this a shot”
“Thank you!” I paused “Are you like a figure skating Olympics champion or something like that in disguise?” She laughed at the question
“Non, nothing like that. I just really liked this as a kid, so I practiced whenever I got the chance”
“That's nice, you're like really great”
“Merci. It's not that hard, though”
“It's pretty difficult, especially for a clutz like me.I don't even know if I'll survive this”
“You'll be just fine”
We kept going around at me in arm for a while with only a few minor incidents, but I couldn't do it any longer.
“Del, my feet are killing me. Do you mind if I take these off and sit around for a bit?” I asked her as we reached the exit
“Non, of course not. Go ahead, I'll join in 10 minutes. Be careful, the snow is slippery out there”
“You don't have to worry, I'm an official ice skater n-” I slipped and tried desperately to hold on to something
Everything went black.
Chapter 12: Dreaming
My eyelids were heavy. As hard as I tried to open my eyes, I couldn’t. I heard a siren and a few familiar voices. The only thing I could see was a little girl with curls ice skating. Delphine. It was like I was watching a movie, so hypnotized by her graceful and angelic movements that I just couldn't look away. She kept going around and owning the skates as if they were a part of her and exploring the ice with a mix of familiarity and curiosity. She pushed her stunts harder and harder, and when I started applauding she got scared and fell hard. With the sound of the impact I jolted awake and found myself in the hospital.
“Dude, I think I'm seeing double”
“We are quadruplets, you idiot! We are supposed to look the same”
“Holy moly! Sarah, stop being a jerk. Cos is injured. Here are your glasses, honey. Are you okay?” Ali asked worryingly
“Besides the horrible headache and pain in my ankle, I'm fine. What happened?”
“You slipped and hit your head on a bench” Sarah giggled “Don't laugh”
“It's okay, Ali. I know my pain amuses you, Sar” I paused trying to remember “What about the little girl?”
“Shite, she's hallucinating. I'm gonna go get the nurse”
“You're gonna be fine, Cosima. S was out of town, but she'll be here soon” Sarah came back with the nurse
“Hi, Cosima. How are you feeling?”
“My head and ankle are hurting a little and I'm, umm, kinda confused” I stared at the nurse “You look so much like her, is she okay?”
“Yes, sweetie. She's fine. Do you want to see her?” I nodded “We have some time before we take you in to run more tests, your dad needs to sign a few papers”
“WHAT? MY DAD?! WHY DID YOU CALL HIM?”
“Honey, Siobhan wasn't answering and his number was on your file. We just followed protocol. He said he was here on business and would come by”
“Please, don't let him see me” I cried “Tell him I was released or something, but don't let him in”
“I'll keep him outside. Do you want to see Del now?”
“Del? Yeah, of course”
“I'll let her know”
Just as the nurse left I saw her running through the door. She stopped next to my bed and we just stared at each other.
“We'll leave you two alone. Come on, Ali” They left the room
“You look like an angel” Delphine blushed and took my hand
“I'm so glad you're fine. I was afraid I lost you. I'm sorry I let you fall, I should've taken you all the way to the bench”
“Oh, no, no, no. I'm sorry I scared you” As I said that I started remembering what really happened “Shit, I ruined your birthday. Ooh, your mom is taking care of me, that's a nice coincidence”
“She's a great nurse, you'll see. And you didn't ruin my birthday. You're fine and that's the best gift anyone could ever give me” I blushed
“Look, Del. I know this probably is the worst time for this, but we need to talk” I caught her hazel eyes looking right through mine
“Let me go first” I nodded “I always knew we have a strong bond, but I never thought about bisexuality for myself, you know? But I like you, Cosima. I really do. When you kissed me it, umm, it caught me off guard, but I can't stop thinking about that kiss” My eyes widened
“That's totally encouraging, Del. And I like you too. That's pretty obvious at this point” I chuckled “But I need to tell you, umm, some things about my past and you might want to take it back after I do it” Del looked scared and still gave me her shy smile
“Nothing you say could change the way I feel about you. Especially since I've felt this for a long time and just had the courage to admit it” I smiled back
“I really hope so…” I took a deep breath “You already know I was adopted when I was 8 by a couple in San Francisco, right?” Del nodded “Sally was a nice and loving woman and Gene was funny and outgoing, but also a little temperamental sometimes. They'd always wanted a biological kid, so even after they adopted me they kept trying. That really took a toll on them, but Sally did get pregnant. Since the pregnancy had some problems they had to focus on that and I was kinda left out, so I started staying at the library after school until it closed. The kid, Simon, was born two weeks before my sixteenth birthday and stayed in the ICU for three months, that's when he passed away. My parents were never the same after that. Gene started lashing out more and Sally wouldn't even leave the house” I was already a mess crying and sobbing “The day that was supposed to be Simon's first birthday I went to the library as usual and only came back after 9pm. That was when I found Sally unresponsive on the floor with an empty bottle of pills beside her. I called 911, but it was too late. If I went straight home after school that wouldn't have happened. I killed her, Del. I'm such a horrible person and Gene blamed me as well” Delphine caressed my hair with tears in her eyes and almost started talking “Please, don't say anything right now, let me just finish or I'll break even more. After that Gene was almost never home, if I saw him once a month it was a lot. I even got a job at the library so I could have money for food and supplies. The school year ended and I was feeling pretty lonely. I met Shay one day I went to the beach and we started hanging out a lot, until one thing let to another at my house and Gene came back and walked in on us. He threw me out and said he was glad I was not his daughter, because he would probably kill himself too if his genes were in a disgusting dyke. I didn't know where to go or what to do, so I called Sarah and she immediately passed the phone to Siobhan. S was super sweet and asked me if I wanted to come here to live with them. So, here I am. But now Gene is coming here and I don't know what to do”
“You're not a bad person, chérie. It was not your fault and I'm sorry all of that happened to you. I'm sorry I-” She sobbed a little
“No, Del. You don't have to apologize for that. I'm just glad you're better and you're here now” I ran my hands through her cheeks swiping off her tears
“You didn't deserve all of that, Cosima.I would like very much if you gave me the chance to make you happy” Delphine smiled and I mirrored her “What do you say?”
“Yes, of course” She leaned in and gave me a soft kiss on my lips “Damn, I must've hit my head pretty hard, this feels like a dream”
“This is definitely not a dream” Delphine tickled me and I giggled
“Stop, Del” I laughed “I can't breathe”
“I see that nothing has changed. How did you allure this new dyke so fast?” She stopped tickling and my smile was gone when I heard the familiar voice. Gene.
“Don't call her that” I looked over to Delphine “Could you wait outside, please?”
“Are you sure?” I nodded and she left
“What do you want? Why are you here?”
“I just want to sort this out once and for all. I don't want to hear from you or about you ever again”
“Fine, you don't need to talk to me then. Go away, take you name out of everything related to me. See if I care”
“Is this how you treat me? After everything I did for you? Ungrateful bitch!”
“What? What did you do for me? It was all Sally! I'm sorry I couldn't save her, but no one could. Especially not you, since you were barely around anymore!”
“Now you blame me? It's your fault! It's all your fault! Our lives were so much better before you came in and ruined everything for us!” He moved closer and I wriggled away from him scared
“Gene, what the fuck are you doing here? You have no right to talk to Cosima like that, get away from her!”
“Hello, Siobhan. I see where she got her bitchy attitude. I was just leaving. Goodbye. Forever.” Gene walked out of the room and Mrs. S came closer
“Are you okay, chicken?”
“No” I wiped my tears “I'm sorry if I'm ruining things for you too. I can just leave if you want me too”
“Of course not, sweetie. You're my kid now and I love you. You brought so much joy into our lives and you're so incredible. I'm never going to leave you, okay?”
“I do” S gave me a warm grin
“I love you, S. And I love living here with you guys, I seriously don't know what I would've done without you. Thank you”
“No, honey. Thank you, you have no idea how much I love having you with us. You chickens really bring out the best in one another”
“Oh god please don’t call me chicken, I love that” I chuckled and looked at the door after hearing a knock
“Can I come in?” Sophie asked
“We've got to run some tests to make sure you don't have a concussion. It's going to take a little while to get the results and the doctor thinks it would be better for you to stay the night. He'll be here with the results”
“Ooh la la, is it doctor hot pants?” I smirked and she blushed
“If I didn't know you I would think cheekiness was a side effect of a concussion”
“Yeah, this one never stops. Such a brat” S added
“I'm glad everyone know what a cheeky brat I am. So, about the staying the night part there's no need for someone to stay with me. I sleep like a rock and I'm sure there are a lot of nurses and doctors around to take care of me”
“Are you sure, Cos?” Siobhan asked me
“Yeah yeah, of course. Besides, you have an army to feed and look after” I gave her a reassuring smile
“Ok then, but if you need anything I'll be back. Do you want me to stay with you through the tests?”
"Yes, please. I'm kinda scared of that part”
“So it's settled then, let's get you tested” Sophie said and took me out in a wheelchair even after I insisted on walking
I was back in my room faster than I expected and Delphine was there waiting for me.
“Hey, how are you feeling?”
“A little tired, but better”
“I talked to Siobhan and she said she is going home soon with your sisters, so I offered to stay the night. If you want to, of course. My mom is staying here too and she said she didn't mind me staying. But that's up to you”
“And I thought I was the one that rambled” We laughed “I don't want to impose or anything. I think you'd feel more comfortable sleeping at home, but if you want to I would love your company”
“Then I'm staying, I'm gonna tell my mom and I'll be back. Can I send everyone in to say goodbye?”
Everyone came in and asked how I was doing. We laughed and talked a little, but soon they were gone. We decided to do the rest of Delphine's surprise the next day after I got home and rested a little more.
“Are you ready for our sleepover?” Del sat in the chair next to my bed
“Sure, but wouldn't you like to be a little more comfortable?”
“This is not ideal, but it's not that bad”
“Come here” I moved over a little opening some space for her and patted the bed
“Cosima, we cannot fit in this bed together”
“Of course we can. You fucking look like a model and, as you so eloquently stated, I'm just an itsy bitsy thing”
“Fine, but if you feel uncomfortable let me know” Delphine climbed onto the bed and I settled my head on her shoulder as she maneuvered herself to fit and also hold me. In the middle of the process she ended up touching my boobs and blushed
“Dude, second base already? This is like the best day ever”
“Cheeky girl” She laughed and gave me a peck on the lips
“Hey, Del?” She locked her eyes on mine “I'm sorry I ruined your birthday, but I promise I'll make up for it”
“Cosima, you didn't ruin anything. I had a great time, even though it didn't go as planned, I got the girlfriend of my dreams and I couldn't ask for anything better than that”
“Oh, really? And who would that be? I'm gonna kick her ass”
“Chérie, I'm pretty sure she got hurt enough for one day”
“Yeah, I think so too. So… shall we go to sleep? Or… we could totes make out all night”
“You need to rest. We sleep now and make out later, okay?”
“Deal. Can I get a good night kiss, though?” I made my best sad puppy face
“Pauvre petit chiot” She closed the gap between our mouths and we share a languid kiss. Tongues exploring a little more than the other times and hands running through each other's hairs and backs until we pulled away still connected by our foreheads and drifted off to sleep after a while.
“Rise and shine, lovebirds” Siobhan startled us and we woke up to see it was already morning
“Bonjour, ma chérie” Delphine opened her eyes and smiled at me. God, she looked beautiful
“Morning, babe” I gave her a quick peck a little self conscious about my morning breath
“I'm glad you worked it all out, chickens. I won the bets, by the way”
“What bets?” I inquired
“The first one included your so called gang and I, whereas the second was just Sophie and I”
“Oui, mon coeur. You two were too obvious and oblivious at the same time” Sophie entered the room
“Well, I hope you won something good at least”
“Let's just say I don't have to do chores for a while and I'm gonna get wasted with French wine” S winked at Sophie
“We're glad to be of service. Can we go home now?”
“I'm going to get Dr. Rowland to sign your release papers and give you some instructions”
“Go get him, Mrs. C!” I joked
There was definitely something going on between the two of them. Even Delphine realised that this time, but neither of us said a thing. We waited for her mom to change and headed to the parking lot.
“Delphine, let's go home and let Cosima rest for a while. You can check on her later, okay?”
“Okay, maman” She turned to me and gave me a little kiss “If you need anything just call me, alright?”
“Of course, babe. See you later”
Little did she know I would be spending that entire time preparing her late birthday surprise, after all I was well rested since I slept in her arms all night long.
Chapter 13: Percy
Hey guys! I'm sorry I took a while to update this, but last week was a complete mess. I'll try to update more regularly. Enjoy!
-How are you, chérie?-
-I'm alright. Just bossing people around, it's awesome-
-Glad to hear it. Is it okay if I come over?-
-Of course. One more to boss around, yay! JK, babe- I couldn't help but smile at that text, I just loved so much Cosima calling me babe
-I'll be right there, your highness-
As soon as I rang the doorbell I heard Cosima yelling she was coming, but also a few harsh whispers with someone, probably Sarah, but it didn't take long to see Cosima with a towel in her hair opening the door.
“Hi, chérie” I leaned in to kiss her, but she pulled away
“Bloody hell, Delphine!”
“I told you to don't steal my glasses and do this, it always backfires” I saw Cosima coming to the door in her crutches “Hey, babe” She grinned and locked her lips on mine
“Hi” I blushed
“Wha’? Why didn't you tell me this, you twat?”
“Well, it's kinda recent... As in just a few hours ago…”
“I'm glad you dorks finally got your heads outta your asses. Come in, it's bloody freezing ”
“Let's just grab something to eat and then we can chill, okay?”
“Alright, what do you want to eat?” I said as we headed to the kitchen
“Dunno. Can you open the door for me?”
“Surprise!” All my friends and even maman and Mrs. S yelled
The kitchen and dining room were full of balloons, there were a lot of hot dogs and candy all over the table and everything was beautifully decorated - probably Allison's work. I was completely speechless and surprised.
“Mon Dieu! How? When?”
“Well, we were going to do this yesterday, but we had to postpone it because someone is too clumsy for her own good, so here we are. It actually worked out so perfectly your mom could be here with us and I had the extra time to make more decorations” Alison said energetically
“Oh, thank you so much! You didn't have to do all of this for me”
“Actually we did, Cos wouldn't stop babbling about all her bloody plans and we really needed her to shut up” Sarah told me
“Hey! I was not that bad and I didn't force you to do anything”
“Thank you, chérie” I gave her a peck on the lips
“WHAT?!” There were multiple screams
“They're gonna be gross now that they're dating” Sarah explained
“Way to go, Dreads!” Tony high fived Cosima and she blushed looking at me shyly
“Wha’? There's no way Cosima finally did this, I'm sure Del's the one responsible” Felix stated
“Oi, leave your sister and Delphine alone”
“Thanks, S. The important thing is that this is really happening, so you just have to get used to it, okay?”
“Fine, whatever. Tony, put some music on so we can start this party” Sarah ordered
“Del, could you come with me for a sec?” Cosima asked me looking nervous
“Sure, what is it?” I followed her upstairs and we stopped at her room's door “Wait, did you bring me here so we can make out? If we take too long maman and Mrs. S will come here and drag us down with them” We chuckled
“As much as I'd like to do that, I actually was planning on giving you your gift”
“Yes! What is it?” I jumped up and down with excitement
“Well, I know you had one of these and you loved it, so I thought ‘Why not, right?’. I also checked with your mom to see if this was a good idea and she was very excited, I've never seen her like that. I really hope you love it as well. You may open the door now” I did as I was told and found a black kitten sleeping comfortably on Cosima's bed
“Mon Dieu! Merci, Cosima! This is the cutest thing I've ever seen” I was already tearing up as I caressed the kitten and it laid down in my lap and went back to sleep “Does it have a name?”
“Not yet, I thought you'd like to name him yourself” She smiled at the scene
“Listen! He's purring! He likes me!”
“Of course he does, what's not to like? Besides, we kinda bonded today and I told him everything about you so he would know what was he waiting for”
“Everything?” I smirked
“Uhum, pretty much. I told him how amazing, kind, beautiful and thoughtful you are, how you would give him a great home with lots of love…” I stopped her with a kiss
“Flattery will get you everywhere, Niehaus”
“Oh, will it now? Good to know” She passed her hands through my hair and pulled me closer by my neck to kiss me deeper. Her tongue asking for entrance and my mouth allowing it to freely intertwine with my own as we discovered more of each other. I felt the kitten shift in my lap before he started meowing.
“Uh oh, looks like someone is jealous of his new mommy” We laughed
“Well, he has to get used to it, because I plan on doing this a lot” I kissed her again
“Oh, wow. I really look forward to that”
“Me too. Do you… maybe… want to go on a date with me?”
“No” Her answer shocked me “I want to go on lots of dates with you. But we can start with one next week, if you're up for it”
“You scared me for a moment there. Is Friday okay for you?”
“Yeah, of course. I actually was planning on doing something with my best friend, but I can totally ditch her” Cosima joked
“Brat. It could be before Friday if you want, but I think it would be better if I spent more time at home with Percival so he can get used to me”
“Oui, I think it fits him. Did you like it?”
“I love it. You know I'll probably call him Percy, right? Or Eskimo Pie! Yup, that's what I'm calling him”
“Cosima, he will be very confused”
“I’m sure he'll manage his nicknames. You know I can't help myself”
“Pauvre petit chiot”
“He's the puppy, not me! I mean kitten, but you get it”
“Yes, I do. I wish we could just lie here with Percy for the rest of the day, but we have a party to attend”
“Oh, right. I kinda stole the birthday girl from the party, I'm sorry”
“Yeah, you got me all to yourself” I grinned at her
“Man, I still can't believe this is actually happening!” She gave me a warm smile and a sweet kiss
“Do you want me to tickle you again?” I started tickling her
“No, no! Stop! Let's go down!”
“Alright, alright” I walked to the door
“Del? Umm, could you help me up?”
“Sorry, I forgot. Does it hurt?” Cos nodded “Well, let's put some ice on it, okay?”
“Ice is what made this to me in the first place” She whined
“You have to put it on anyways. Besides, winter is wonderful, you just have to be more careful where you step”
“Yeah, I know. Can we dance a little first, though? I love this song”
“Don't put your feet down, okay? And use your crutches”
“Yes, doc. Come dance with me”
We reached the living room and Cosima started dancing with everyone. She swayed her hips very naturally and soon the rhythm took over her whole body. Every move was so Cosima… and so... hot. I couldn't stay away any longer, so I got closer to her and joined her movements. She lifted her arm to twist me around and her crutches fell down.
“Come here, I'll hold you”
“Don't let me fall”
“Oh, I think you've fallen pretty hard already, sweetie” Felix smirked
“Yes, I did” Cosima locked her eyes on mine and we shared another kiss before continuing dancing until her pain got a little worse
“I'm going to grab some ice, wait for me here” I settled her on the couch and went to the kitchen to grab some ice when I heard voices from inside
“Oh Siobhan, I just saw the girls dancing together. It was the cutest thing ever. I've always hoped Del would find someone caring and amazing, but I really didn't expect to be so soon. I'm really happy for them, you did a great job with Cosima”
“Cosima is such a special girl, Sophie. Everything she is now is completely from herself. I have no idea how she became so incredible, especially giving the circumstances, but I'm happy she did. Also, Delphine is a wonderful kid. They really deserve each other” They stopped talking as I got in
“S, is it okay if I get some ice for Cosima's ankle?”
“Of course, honey. Make yourself at home. Did Cosima give you your gift?”
“Yes, she did. Thanks maman for letting him stay with us” I hugged her “Percival will love our home”
“You named him already? I had a list to help you with that, you usually take your time to decide things like that, sweetie. Are you sure?”
“Oui, maman. But if you don't like the name I guess you can call him by some nickname. Cosima is calling him Eskimo Pie and maybe Percy as well” The three of us laughed
“That girl is a hoot. I'm happy you two are together and neither of you have to hide your feelings anymore”
“Honey, I'm your mom. And you were too obvious”
“A blind man could see that, chicken”
“Well, I guess I was the last to know. That's okay. At least you're fine with it, right?”
“Of course sweetie, I know Cosima cares a lot about you, I've seen it with my own eyes. And I can feel she makes you happy, what's not to like?”
“I don't know, I know some people don't like having lgbtq kids. But I'm glad you're not like them. Besides, I don't even know what I am. I just know that I like Cosima and she likes me back, so I feel I hit jackpot”
“You certainly did. Now let's take a look at that girlfriend of yours”
“Sophie, if you need anything for the ankle let me know. I'm gonna make some tea to warm her up after the ice pack”
“Okay, I'll be right back to continue our little chat”
We went back to the living room and found Cosima dancing again
“Cosima, I told you to wait for me on the couch”
“Sorry, babe. I couldn't resist it” She smiled apologetically as she sat down
“Come on, let me take a look at this ankle” Maman took her feet to examine her “Does this hurt?” Cosima winced in pain and nodded “Well, you have to follow the doctor's orders about the medicines and the ice and you should put this feet up and rest a little now, you shouldn't be dancing. It's not going to get better if you keep exerting yourself”
“I'm not exerting myself” Maman gave her a stern look “Fine, maybe I was a little. You don't have to worry, though. Delphine will probably kill me if I don't follow that anyways”
“That's my girl” She looked up at me and then looked back at Cosima “Siobhan is making tea, do you want some?”
“Yeah, her tea is great. Thank you”
“Alright, I'll be right back” She left the room
“You have to take care of yourself, Cosima”
“Yeah, I know. It sucks that I can't do everything I want”
“You still can do lots of things, you're not an invalid”
“It feels like I am”
“Non, of course not. You planned and helped with all of this, danced a little and took care of Percival, you did plenty of things today and you just came back from the hospital”
“I'm pretty sure you're forgetting something”
“This” She pulled me to the couch and kissed me tenderly
“How could I forget this?” We smiled at each other “Come lay back with me”
“Your wish is my command, madame. You know we'll have to get up to drink the tea, right?”
“Let's not worry about that now”
The rest of the night passed with everyone talking and laughing and with me holding Cosima on the couch most of the time. I was in a complete bliss appreciating my amazing friends, Mrs. S, my new girlfriend and my mom.
“Come on, sweetie. It's time to take Percival home”
“Oh man, I'm gonna miss the little guy” Cosima pouted
“I'll take you to see him tomorrow, chérie. I'm gonna go get him” After I came down everyone was saying their goodbyes and petting my kitten. Soon enough we got home and Percy was able to explore the house freely.
“Don't worry about him wandering around the house, Cosima came here this week to make sure everything was ready for him to settle in”
“She's pretty great, huh?” I smiled
“Yes, she is everything I hoped you'd find. And I know this is recent, but I think we need to talk. How are you feeling about it?”
“I'm happy, maman. This is something that was coming for some time now and it just… feels right, you know? I was trying to deny my feelings for Cosima because I was scared of something, but I'm glad we worked it out”
“Just… be careful. I don't want you to get hurt. It's not that I don't trust Cosima or anything, you know that I like her a lot and she makes you happy. I don't want you to feel pressured into anything or take steps you’re not ready for. So please, if you feel overwhelmed or upset about anything, talk to me. I know I'm no relationship expert or anything, but I'm here for you. Always.”
“I know, maman. I love you and I promise I'll take care of myself”
“I love you too, mon bébé”
Chapter 14: Wonders of the Universe
Our first month together was absolutely blissful. We spent the holidays together and saw each other almost every day. When we went back to school, Del asked me if we could keep our relationship to ourselves for a while. That certainly alarmed me, but after she reassured me it was because she was scared not ashamed, I agreed and tried to keep my hands to myself during our classes. That was definitely one of the hardest thing I've ever had to do at school. I would sit behind her just to feel closer by playing with her perfect hair and get as close as possible during our lab hours, but that didn't help so much, so we started sneaking out to the bathroom, empty classrooms, pretty much everywhere we could have a little privacy. The adventurous feeling was nice for a while, but one day Aynsley caught us making out in the locker room and the news spread quickly. After that, some guys wanted a threesome, there were people calling us dykes and the ones that didn't even care because they were minding their own businesses. Sarah, Tony, Beth and Art were pretty busy threatening everyone that dared to open their mouths and say bad things about us. I was just ignoring all of that, but Delphine took it kinda hard. She was distant for a few days and when I tried to talk to her at school she would act weird. Only after I went to her house and insisted on having a proper conversation about our relationship and I told her that she shouldn't let all the hate get to her because there was so much love between us and around us from our friends and family, that she went back to being her lovely self.
There was a new exhibition at the planetarium, so she asked me to go with her on a dinner date and we would check it out afterwards. I was so excited about the date, especially after what we had to go through. I put on my red dress with black thighs and the awesome red coat S gave me for Christmas, but got a little late applying my makeup. You know, nothing out of the ordinary. So when I went down Delphine was already waiting for me looking like a goddess as always.
“You look so beautiful, ma chérie” She said leaning in to kiss me
“You too, babe. I can't believe I'm dating the hottest girl in the world” She blushed
“Oi, be back before midnight. I won't be here, but these ones will tell me anything if I use my methods. Enjoy your night out, kiddos” S said as we left the house.
“So… Where are you taking me?” I asked impatiently while she drove
“It's a surprise, you'll see when we get there”
“Come on, Del! Give me a clue” I pouted “Pretty pleaaase”
“Okay, you like things from the same place”
“Is it Mario's? Or maybe Lavini? No, it must be BMill! Is it?”
“We are almost there, just wait a little bit more” She looked at me and smirked before looking back at the street “Behave now and you get a treat later”
“Oooh, I'll be good... So good…” I answered settling down in my seat
“I'm going to park here and we can walk to the restaurant. It's not too far”
“Lead the way, milady” I held her arm as we walked together and we ended up at a nice little French restaurant
“Reservation for Cormier” Oh my god, that was hot
“Of course, mesdames. Follow me” The waiter lead us to a table close to the window that allowed us to see a little park on the other side of the street
“I know the restaurant is kind of empty, but I had to get a reservation to make sure we got this view”
“This is perfect, Del. I love it” I grabbed her hand across the table and looked into her eyes smiling
“I hope you like the food as well. I've been here before, the coq au vin and the beef bourguignon are amazing”
“Well, if it's half as good as my favorite French thing, then it's amazing. Let's order that” She placed our order as I looked more carefully around the restaurant
“That chandelier is so beautiful I don't know if I look to our view or to that. It's so captivating”
“We can have both in our home” I looked down and caught her eyes full of sincerity
“Ooh, aren't you a lesbian dream? Are we moving in together already?”
“Not at the moment, chérie, but I'm serious. I'm sorry I let everything bother me so much and I'm glad you were there to put my head on the right place, even if I was unfair to you. I'm all in, Cosima. And this doesn't come with an expiration date, this is only the beginning of us” She took my hand close to her mouth and kissed it
“Future with you sounds amazing. What else would you like to do?”
“Well, first we have to go to the university. Berkeley or Minnesota, as we talked about. We'll keep being the best lab partners possible for each other. Then we get our masters and PhD. After that the world is ours. We can teach classes or work to a big company. But most importantly we can get married and have kids, get a dog or another cat. Everything we want. What do you want?”
“I want you. The rest you said is perfect, but I can only imagine it with you” We smiled at each other and I looked over to the park only to see an elderly couple on the bench “I mean, wouldn't it be wonderful if that was us in 50 or 60 years? Just sitting together like that, us against the world. It doesn't matter if we are super rich or famous in our field. All that matters is that we love each other”
“You're right, mon amour. Je t'aime toujours”
“I love you too, babe”
We enjoyed our meal and left to go to the exposition.
“Do you miss it?”
“The place itself and the food, yes. But I feel like this is where I need to be, you know? I'm not sure if this makes sense… Besides, I have so much love and support here. I know Maman works a lot and feel guilty, but I have you and your sisters and Mrs. S and everyone. I saw how they stood up for us in the past weeks and I couldn't be more grateful. In France I had to stay with papa and that dreadful wife of his most of the time I was not at boarding school. I only enjoyed my time visiting Mémé or when Maman was on vacation” She told me sadly
“I'm sorry about all of that, but I'm so glad you're here. You're the most amazing person I've ever met and the moment we became friends I couldn't imagine my live without you anymore and now I don't even want to think about it” She stopped and held me closer
“Then don't… We are both here and in love, that's way more than I could have wished for” She kissed me passionately for a while before we realized we were in the middle of the pathway and late for the exhibition.
It was really awesome being able to learn so many things and still have so many questions for which the answers are still unknown. Everything was so beautiful at the planetarium. The planets, the stars, the dark, Delphine. How could such an amazing human being exist? I couldn't stop staring at her and she would caught my eyes with hers every time I looked.
“You know, admiring the mysteries of the Universe is completely magical”
“Cosima, you sound like you're high” Delphine chuckled
“You love it” I smirked
“I do… But you know what's way more magical to admire?”
“You” She smiled and I laughed
“Really smooth, Cormier”
“I'm getting pretty cheesy, aren't I?”
“You sure are, guess I’d better up my game, huh?”
“Your ‘game’ is so effective already, I don't know if my heart can take that improvement”
“There's only one way to find out” I blinked and headed to the exit.
Just as we got to the park near the restaurant Del pulled me towards the trees and pinned me against one of them kissing me slowly, almost torturing me with the flicks of her tongue on mine and exploring every inch of my neck as we deepened our kiss. She bit down my lip making me elicit a soft moan, almost inaudible, but with her body so close I was sure she heard it. Her hands went to my hips and mine to the back of her neck as we got even closer and hotter together, but soon a flashlight caught our attention and a park ranger told us the park was closing. Shit, I was achingly turned on and I couldn't keep my hands off of Delphine the whole way home. She drove me absolutely crazy, I couldn't help but imagine how she would moan in French when I tasted her, how her face would lit up when she came for me… I was lost in my lustful thoughts for a while and only came back when she stopped the car in front of my house.
“Oh, I can't believe we're here already. What time is it?”
“It's five past midnight, Cosima. We're already late”
“Guess we lost track of the time somewhere along the way” An idea came to my mind and I smirked at her “Since technically we're already here, we can't get in trouble anymore” I jumped to the back seat “Hey, I have something to show you”
“Umm, what would that be, chérie?” She went to the back as well and sat on my lap
As soon as she got herself comfortable I enveloped her and we shared a languid kiss. Every stroke and every movement so delicate, but full of desire. Everything escalated so quickly, her hips were moving, searching for stimulation and my hands pulled her closer by her hips while I bit and licked her neck and her cleavage.
“Ouch!” Del yelled as she hit her head
“Come here, lean back a bit, you're too tall to stay like this”
I laid back towards the window and she positioned her thighs between mine and straddled my leg while kissing me hard. With one hand holding herself up and another travelling my body and touching every inch of my skin so warmly, I got wetter and wetter. I wasn't sure if she could feel it, but I could feel her soaked while moving more frantically. I deepened the kiss even more as my hands searched for her breasts and I took her nipples between my fingers making her moan and throb even harder. I began to explore everything I could with my mouth and my hands alternated between pulling her closer and stimulating her boobs. When I close my lips on her pulse point and my hands pulled a little at her hair the sounds leaving her throat got rougher and louder until they stopped. She came. Her face was so hot and I almost came myself just from seeing it. As she descended I placed soft kisses everywhere I could reach and held her. In a moment of realisation she dipped her head in my shoulders.
“Sorry, it wasn't supposed to be like this, I just…” She muttered embarrassed
“Babe, that was so hot. You don't need to be sorry about anything” She looked at me a little confused “Hey, I'll make sure our first time is special for both of us. We deserve it. This was just a really nice dry hump, clearly not dry at all” I chuckled and she followed me “You don't have to be embarrassed of anything, this was amazing for me too. I love you, Del”
“I love you too, Cosima” She smiled and gave me a lighter kiss. I look over to my house as I pulled away slightly and saw Alison looking out the window
“Shit, Alison is looking. She's gonna kill me, if I don't see you again you know who to blame” I joked
“Don't worry, mon amour. You know we still have leverage from the time we caught her with Beth in her room”
“Thanks for reminding me about that, but I think I've gotta go before S comes back from her night out as well”
“See you tomorrow?”
“Abso-freaking-lutely! Night, Del. I love you” I gave her a goodbye kiss and left the car. As soon as I got home I heard Alison’s voice.
“You're forty minutes late, Cosima”
“I got here at midnight and you know it”
“Then you should've come home, what were you doing in the driveway?”
“Oi, lay off Ali” Felix yelled without looking away from his video game
“Thanks for defending me, little bro” I messed up his hair
“Felix! You're past your bedtime, you don't get to stay on her side”
“Don't be a bitch, Ali. And I'll not defend you anymore if you do that with my beautiful hair again, Cos”
“We'll see about that” I said and went upstairs just to find Sarah on the corridor
“Someone looks extremely chipper tonight. How was your date?”
“It was perfect, Sar” My grin widened
“Oooh did you play a little softball?”
“We didn't, but it was still perfect. I'm gonna take a shower and go to bed”
“Make it a cold one”
I got in the shower and realized I was still high from my arousal before. I didn't need a cold shower, I just needed a quick release, so that's what I did. Of course I'd rather take a nice long bath for that, but at least the water sound muffled any sounds that might've come out of my mouth.
After I was done I went to my room and got ready to sleep averting some suspicious looks from Sarah. I glimpsed at my phone and saw I got one new message from Delphine.
D: I got home okay, chérie. It looks like we played paintball though, I'm gonna have marks
C: I didn't hear you complain ;)
D: I'm going to pay you back. Goodnight, mon coeur. Je t'aime
C: I can't wait. Je t'aime aussi, mon amour
Chapter 15: Gotta love concealer
Hey, there! I'm sorry it took me so long to update, but I'm hoping I have more free time in the next few weeks to write a little more. I'm not giving up on any story, even if it takes me a while to finish them. Thanks for reading and not giving up either! Enjoy! :)
“Oi, Cos! You up for a party at Cal’s today?”
“Can’t, Sar. Delphine and I are working on our bio project today and it’s gonna take a while”
“You’re gonna take you time to study her biology, am I right?” Sarah smirks
“Shut up, dude. We really have to focus on that assignment, it’s a huge part of our grade and I’m very excited to study more about clones”
“You could just take Ali and I to your fancy AP class”
“We’re quadruplets, not clones. It’s not as interesting”
“We’re pretty interesting, but whatever. Go be a geek with your girlfriend”
“That I’ll do”
“Cosima, is Delphine’s mom gonna be there?” S asked as I was heading out
“I don’t know, but it’s not like I’m staying over or anything” I lied and S looked at me knowingly
“Right… Well, let’s just hope you are more careful with her neck this time, you’re not fooling anyone, chicken”
“Bye!” I ran out the door as fast as I could and got to Delphines’ house in no time
“Bonjour, ma chérie” Del kissed me passionately
“Oh wow, hello to you too” I pulled her in once again before I settled my things in her bedroom “So, apparently everyone thinks I’ve got a problem controlling myself because of the bite marks on you”
“Can you blame them? You seem to enjoy making those”
“I swear I didn’t mean to leave them” She shot me a disbelieving look “Okay, maybe I can get a little lost in the moment especially on this beautiful neck of yours” I pushed her hair away and kissed every inch of skin available “But it’s not my fault you have such a light and sensitive skin”
“So now it’s my fault?”
“Definitely not, you’re only guilty of being awesome. We can totes blame it on genetics”
“You know what we can’t blame on genetics?”
“What?” I furrowed my brows
“This!” She bit my neck as strongly as she could
“Fuck, Del! I don’t bite this hard, man. Not fair”
“Pauvre petit chiot. Let me kiss it better” Delphine peppered me with little kisses until she got to my mouth and we got lost in each other for a couple of minutes until she pulled away
“Oh, come on! My neck still hurts” I pouted
“Cosima, we have a project to do. We can continue that later"
“Fine. You're lucky I love science too. Let's do this”
We spent hours researching, discussing and typing our project, only stopping for lunch, and we were close to finishing it, but still had some topics to attend.
“I think we should expand the section about the different cloning methods a little more. It's so cool seeing the adaptation they had to endure depending on the technology available at the time and also the type of cells” I notice Delphine staring at me “Are you even listening? Why are you looking at me like that?” She stood up and took my laptop away from me “What are you-?” Del interrupted me with a kiss while moving to straddle me
“I think we've done enough for today, we can finish up tomorrow” She got even closer and I felt my body on fire
“O-okay… What do you want to do then? Wanna watch a movie?” She kissed me again
“You” She said briefly before returning her attention to my pulse point
“W-wha-?” Realization flooded my mind “Wait, you sure?”
“Yes” Delphine stood up and carried me to her bed, her lips never leaving mine and her hands fumbling with the hem of my blouse “May I?”
“Yeah, of course” My shirt was on the floor in the blink of an eye and I took her off as well and became hypnotized by the soft perky breasts completely free “You're so beautiful, Del” I leaned in to connect our lips once again while my hand enveloped her flesh and my fingers closed around her nipples making them stand out and eliciting a moan from Delphine as her eyes shut and only opened again after I explored every inch of the newly discovered skin. She moved to take my bra off and looked at them with determination, taking charge of my body and making me completely hers. I don't know how, but suddenly I was naked and her warm hands found my thighs, reaching closer and closer to her final destination and driving me completely insane.
“Pl-please” Delphine immediately attended my needs after that confirmation and reached to my center, spreading my swollen lips and gathering wetness before teasing my sensitive bud and making me scream with pleasure. The stimulation continued harder and harder until I was on the edge and she pushed one finger inside me, that one was soon joined by one more and her thumb went to my clit, while her left hand enjoyed my breasts and her mouth alternated between my mouth, my collarbone and my nipples. It was amazing looking at that gorgeous woman whom I loved so much filling me, touching me and loving me, I couldn't help but come for her making sounds I didn't even know I could and laying breathlessly on the bed beside her while I recovered from the high I experienced.
“Cosima, are you okay?” I could only nod in response, I couldn't form a single word “Can't you talk right now?” I shook my head in denial “Was it good enough?” I nodded again with the biggest smile I could manage my face “Oh wow, maybe I should use this more often to shut you up. But really, this was amazing, you are amazing, I love you so much”
I gathered all the energy I had left and kissed her hard, taking off the rest of her clothes and finding her soaking wet. I trailed down her collarbone and got to her breasts once again, enjoying the softness and the grunts emanating from her mouth, while her back arched and her hips reached out searching for a deeper connection between our bodies. My hands tried to hold her in place as I descended her body and my mouth was right over her center. With every breath and every touch in her thighs I felt her shudder more with anticipation and her scent intoxicated me.
“Can I taste you?” I asked as I looked up and locked my eyes on hers, now filled with lust
“Oui, baise moi”
I got that as a confirmation and spread her lips with my tongue, without reaching the desperate bundle of nerves peeking out of its hood. I felt her hands grabbing my dreads inviting me to go further, so I pushed one finger inside at the same time my mouth enveloped her clit.
“Cosimaaa” She moaned as her pussy clenched around me and I inserted another finger, starting to move my hand and mouth in a steady rhythm “Ooh, faster” Her accent, now rougher, made me accelerate my moves and it got to the point that my arms hurt from exertion, but she was so close and her moans were so hot. I found it in me the last strength I had to get her over the edge and curled my fingers inside her. She came and we both stood there for a moment as I stared her angelical face and her eyes fluttered open.
“Fuck, Del. You're so beautiful. I love you” She pulled me into her arms for a kiss and we just held each other tightly for what seemed like hours before we heard Percy meowing outside, so we put on our clothes and let him in the room. “I'm glad you closed the door, it would be really weird to have him here with us” We both laughed
“I don't think we would ever look at us the same way”
“Oh yeah, he would be traumatized by his mommy's moves. Which I totally appreciate, by the way. This was amazing. And beautiful. Just like you”
“It was perfect, chérie. Je t'aime”
“Je t'aime aussi, babe” She chuckled and kissed me “Come on, my French is getting better”
“Your accent is so cute, I can't resist it”
“Welcome to my world then. Hey, babe? I'm famished, can we go out to eat something?”
“I thought you just did” Delphine smirked
“Oooh Cormier, you're right again… But seriously, can we?” I pouted
“Okay, okay. Let me just freshen up a bit and we'll go. We can try out that new diner, it's close to where your favorite ice cream truck is usually parked at this hour”
“Yay! I'm craving some eskimo pies right now” The cat jumped in my lap “I love you too, little Eskimo, but I meant the ice cream this time”
“You should stop calling him Eskimo Pie if you don't want him to be confused”
“You know he loves it. Don't you, Eskimo?” I petted his head and he purred “See?”
“Fine!” She yelled as she headed to the bathroom
A few minutes later we were ready to go, but as I passed down the corridor I saw a huge dark mark on my neck in the mirror “Oh man, did you have to do this?”
“I didn't, but it was great to have a little revenge”
“Come on, let me get my makeup kit, I have some experience covering those up”
“Gotta love concealer” I stood still while she worked her magic. By the time we left her house it was barely even noticeable, but I put on the scarf I had in my bag just in case.
“Are you sure it's all hidden?” I said as we arrived at the diner
“Oui, chérie. Don't worry, let's go”
We ordered some cheeseburgers and fries, but they didn't last long. We were too hungry to appreciate them properly.
“You sure worked up an appetite, mon amour”
“Whose fault is that?”
“Yours, for being so irresistible” Del smiled and took my hand for a quick peck
“You're on fire today, babe” My phone started ringing in my bag and I reached it to see who was calling me “Why can't I find this damn thing when I need?”
“Well, you are kind of messy…” I rolled my eyes finally finding what I was looking for
“I hope I didn't interrupt anything, but it's time to come home, chicken” S said on the phone
“Come on S, we just had dinner and we're about to get some ice cream”
“Take it to go, then. I really need you here, Cosima” I heard indistinct noises on the background
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, okay, I'll be there in 20” I hung up and saw a worried Delphine “S needs me home, I don't really know why, but it's important. I'm sorry, we'll have to get those ice creams to go”
“No problem, I hope everything is fine over there. Do you think we can finish our project tomorrow?”
“I'm not sure, but we're almost done anyways. If you want I can finish it by myself or we can do it together online, depending on what's going on”
“You don't have to do it all by yourself, we'll figure out a way to do it together. Now let's get you your ice cream”
When I got home, S was waiting for me in the living room and I heard something breaking upstairs.
“What's going on in here? It looks like every time I go out, I come back to something new”
“It's your sister. She locked herself in your room and won't talk to me. Now she's in there breaking god knows what and I don't know what to do” She says almost crying and I hug her
“You're doing your best, S. I know it's hard and I can't imagine doing everything you do, but you are the best mom anyone could wish for. I'll talk to Sarah, it's going to be okay. I love you. We all do. Let me help you with this”
“Oh, chicken. I love you too” S was now tearing up
“I'm gonna make you and Sar some tea, maybe we can watch a movie when Ali and Fe get home and it's all sorted. I'll be right back”
I knocked on the bedroom door with a cup of tea that I almost spilled on the stairs.
“Hey, Sar. Want a cuppa?”
“At least open the door, it's my room too” She unlocked the door and I could see the mess inside. Everything was on the floor, including some broken portraits. I put the cup on the bedside table and sat on my bed as she locked the door. “You wanna tell me what happened?”
“No!” Sarah threw a pillow on me “Fuck you! Leave me alone!”
“Dude, I didn't do anything. I'm just here to support you, I love you”
“Stop being nice, I'm not in the mood!” Her phone started ringing and she smashed it on the wall “Fucking Cal! That son of a bitch, I'm gonna kill him!”
“I had to kiss Paul because of a bloody game and that bastard got all jealous and shitfaced so he broke up with me and made out with Aynsley right in front of me! Fucking Aynsley! She didn't waste a minute! Bitch was all over him, I'm gonna kick her arse!”
“Wow, that's fucked up. But, hey, look at me” I grabbed her hands and didn't let her pull away “He's a fucking idiot for letting you go. You're a beautiful, strong and intelligent woman, you deserve so much better”
“I don't, Cosima! You know the morons I've dated, Cal was completely different from Vic or even Paul. I was lucky to have him and now he's gone because I'm really stupid”
“Sarah, this is not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong, it was just a game. Did it mean anything to you?” She shook her head “There you go. If you really want to be with Cal, I'm sure you can sort that out easily. Though breaking up with you over a game was a dick move. I'm sure I can kick his balls for you, mess up his chem experiments or something like that for you. You deserve someone great to love you and respect you. And, hey, you've got two very good looking sisters, an awesome little brother, a badass mom and great friends to support you. I love you, punk” Sarah came closer and hugged me sobbing. I wasn't used to this amount of affection from her.
“I love you too, geek monkey. I don't know what I would do without you. Probably rot in jail...” She wiped her tears “If you ever tell anyone I cried, you're going to my murder list” I held my hands up and she took the tea drinking it slowly. We heard Ali and Fe getting home and talking to S.
“Let's go down to watch a movie, you can pick anything you want. I'm gonna make some popcorn”
We all spread in the sofa and the floor watching Rocky, one of Sarah's favorite movies. I wasn't really paying attention to the movie, to be honest. My mind just wandered and I got lost in my thoughts. A loud sound coming from the TV startled me. I looked over to my family and they were all peacefully watching, even though some of their heads were probably a chaos. In that moment nothing else mattered, because we had each other.
I knew what I had to do.
Chapter 16: Clouds and sunshine
Hey, guys! Here's another update on this fix as I'm trying to finish the next chapter of "The bigger picture", so it'll probably up by next week. Yay!
It was a lot. Sarah’s break up, S trying to get in contact with our other sister, Ali freaking out because of the new play she was in, Felix with his first pimple drama, classes, tests, projects, everything. Well, everything except for Delphine. Damn, I really had that going for me. That girl never ceased to amaze me and I had no idea how I got that little piece of sunshine in the middle of such a mess.
We were making out in her car right after school when Sarah called me
“What now, Sar?” I answered out of breath
“I- home… Don’t tell…anyone” She said crying
“Dude, what’s going on? I’m hanging out with Del”
“Pl- please, Cos... I need you”
“On my way, just try to calm down” I hung up
“Look, Del. I’m so sorry about this, Sarah needs me right now. Oh, and she asked me not to tell anyone. Probably because Ali would be upset she didn’t call her and she’s got enough on her plate right now. Seriously, she’s going crazy with rehearsals and there’s-” Delphine cut me with a searing kiss
“I know you, Cosima, you just want to help. It’s okay, we’ll see each other tomorrow at the concert anyways” She smiled as my heart melted
“I love you, babe. I promise I’ll make it up to you tomorrow” I kissed her once again
“I’ll hold you to that. Come on, let me take you home”
The drive wasn’t long, but when I got home I couldn’t find Sarah. Oh fuck, not again . Sure enough there she was, but this time sobbing quietly clutching her legs on the bathroom floor.
“Are you okay? What happened?” She looked at me with swollen eyes and I hugged her as tight as I could
“S... gonna kill me…”
“Give her some credit, Sar. She’s a cool mom. But why?” Sarah pointed to the sink, I got up to look closer and found a dozen of positive pregnancy tests
“Oh…fuck...” She started weeping harder and I went back to calm her down “Sorry, I’m just surprised, I guess. What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know. I’m a bloody idiot”
“Hey, hey. You’re not an idiot. Whatever you wanna do I’m here to support you, okay? Is it… Cal’s?”
“Yeah… This is so fucked up… You can’t tell anyone, Cosima”
“I won’t… You’re gonna have to tell S soon, though”
“I’m not ready for this”
“I know it must be hard and scary, but this is something you don’t have a lot of time to figure out. Do you have any idea how far along are you?”
“Not a clue”
“No matter what you decide, you should see a doctor and for that you need S, we’re still minors”
“Our birthday is coming up, can’t I just wait?”
“Sarah... “ I sighed “This is your health we’re talking about, it’s important you do this”
“Okay, I’m gonna tell her next week. I just need some time to think”
“Alright. I know exactly the place for you, then. Let’s get rid of these tests so S doesn’t find out until you’re ready and you’re coming with me”
I threw everything away in a trash can on our way to the park, far enough so no nosy neighbor would find it and tell Mrs. S.
“Hey, Tom! How are you doing?” I greeted approaching the ice cream truck
“Hi, Cosima! Where’s your lovely lady today?”
“Today is just my sister and I”
“Hey” Sarah waved at him
“Wow, I didn’t know you had a twin. Nice to meet you. What can I get you?”
“The usual, please”
“Here you go. Enjoy!”
“Always, dude. Thanks” I paid him and took Sarah to my usual bench
“You come here a lot, huh?”
“Yeah, almost every week. This is kinda my special place, I can come here and just… be, you know? I’ve only told you and Delphine about this. I brought her here when she was going through a rough patch and she really appreciated it, I hope this helps you too” She nodded and looked around
“You’re gonna be a great aunt” I couldn’t help but smile at her words
“You think so?”
“I think you’d be an awesome mom. If you want to, of course. I know it’s not easy, especially in these circumstances, but you’re an amazing person and, aside from this tough attitude you put on, I know you have a nice and caring heart”
“What if I fuck up like I always do?”
“You don’t always fuck up and it’s okay to do it sometimes. Besides, you have a crazy big family that loves you more than anything. And if you decide not to do this, we’ll be there the same way. It’s your life, your body, your decision, but that doesn’t mean you are alone in this”
“Thanks, Cos. Can we go home?”
We went home and stayed in our room for the rest of the day. Eventually everyone got home and no one was really surprised with Sarah’s bad mood. I even managed to convince S and Ali to give her some space so she could process everything and think about her next steps. I had no idea what she was going to do, that whole situation was complex as fuck.
As I laid in my bed my brain was filled with questions, thoughts and uncertainty about the future. What would happen when I went to college? Would Sarah be stuck with a baby all day by herself? Would Cal help her? Would Ali stay in Toronto? Would Fe be okay with a baby around the house and probably losing his bedroom? And S… How would she react? She would have two more mouths to feed if she really got Helena to come to our house. I was lost in my thoughts for hours until I finally got some sleep when the sky was begging to light up.
I slept late and almost lost the show with Del. Fortunately, she called my house to ask what was going on with me because I wasn’t replying her texts or answering her calls. I woke up in a hurry, quickly took a shower, put on a nice dress and ate something before Delphine got there.
“I’m so sorry, I kinda had trouble sleeping at night and apparently I made up for it during the day” I hugged her as we left the house
“I was just worried that something happened to you. Or that you were ignoring me or something. It’s all good now. Are you ready?”
“I was born ready. And I did promise to make it up to you, didn’t I?” I smirked and pinned her against her car leaning in for a breathtaking kiss
“If you keep this up we’re never getting to the show”
“I guess I can wait a little bit” I pouted
The drive was silent and I could feel Delphine's stare every now and then, but I was trying to relax my mind and failing miserably. It took me some time to realize we were parked close to the venue, only getting out of my trance after hearing her voice.
“Cosima, are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah” I said getting out of the car and ignoring her disbelieving look
“We don't have to go in if you don't want to. There's always another show”
“No, it's fine” I took her hand in reassurance, but as soon as we got there I felt completely overwhelmed
I didn't expect the place to be so full. My heart started to beat faster and faster with every step, every movement and every sound coming from the hundreds of people around me. I got detached from my surroundings, it was like I was watching everything from afar and everything was blurry and spinning. I felt myself being pulled through the crowds until I was in the bathroom with soft hands on my face and soft brown eyes staring back at me.
“Chérie? Chérie? Talk to me”
I tried, but couldn't talk and I became desperate. I could only hear the sound of my hard and unsteady breathing and a beautiful French accent calling me.
“Hey, hey. Breathe with me, okay? Breathe in… Hold it a little… Now breathe out… Come on, let's do this again… In.. and… out…” We repeated a few more times before I calmed down a little and she gave me some water “Do you want to leave?” I nodded “Do you want to go home?” I shook my head “Park?” I declined again, I only wanted some peace and quiet “Okay, we'll drive around until we figure something out. Or we could just go to my place and I'll make you some tea. Maman's not home today, it'll be quiet” I agreed and there we went
My mind was full and numb at the same time. Even though I had a lot of thoughts running around, it was as if they were foggy or something. The tea helped my body calm down as I sat on the bed in Delphine's arms and my brain got the rest it needed over a two hour nap.
I woke up with Del still wrapped around me. I stirred in bed and she opened her eyes slowly, immediately focusing on me to make sure I was okay.
“I love you” Was the first thing that came to my mind
“I love you too, chérie. Are you okay?”
“Better now, thank you”
“I'm here for you, you can talk to me if you want”
“I know, baby. Everything is just so complicated right now. A lot of teenage drama and adult stress going on at home, besides there's also school and applications. I'm a little all over the place”
“I understand. Everything is going to be fine. The applications are ending, school is coming to an end, we're going to follow our dream and our passion and whatever is going on with your family is not completely your responsibility. I know you want to help everyone anyway you can, but you have to make sure you're okay to do so. I'm know I can be too much to handle sometimes as well, so I'm sor-”
“Hey, no. You're not a problem. Not at all. I'm so proud of you for being such a strong woman and so thankful that you're here for me. And my family really needs my help right now, but I'm gonna get my shit together. I just need some time to do it”
“Then it's a good thing I convinced Mrs. S to let you sleep here”
“How did you do that?” I asked incredulously
“Well, I do have an irresistible charm, don't I?”
“That you definitely do” I snuggled closer and gave her a quick peck on the lips
We ordered a pizza and had some ice cream while watching cartoons on the TV with Percy until we called it a night and went back to her room and laid down with a sleepy kitten between us and I was enthralled with his little belly going up and down as he breathed
“You need to sleep, mon amour”
“I can't, Eskimo is so cute”
“Do you want me to put him by my side?”
“No way. Can you sing to me? You have a beautiful voice”
“Of course, I actually know one lullaby in English”
“Perfect. Good night, Del. I love you”
“Bonne nuit, mon amour. Je t'aime” She kissed my forehead and I drifted to sleep surrounded by her soft accented voice singing “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away”
Chapter 17: Secrets and pain
I'm so sorry it took me this long to update. Writer's block is a bitch and college is hectic af. Hope you like it!
“Cosima, wait up!” I yelled as I ran after her through the school’s parking lot
“What?” She answered without turning around and kept walking
“Why are you avoiding me?”
“You’re not even looking at me” She ignores me “Cosima, stop!” She does and turns around with a blank face “What is going on?”
“You see, I don’t believe you. Just tell me”
“I told you it’s nothing”
“Why are you behaving like this around me then? Do you want to break up? Is that it?”
“I don’t. I just… need some space”
“Fine” I sighed disappointed without wanting the discussion to continue like that in public “But I need our project so I can finish it. Do you have it?”
“It’s at home”
“I’ll give you a ride, let’s go”
The drive was quick and quiet. Something was definitely wrong with her, I’ve never seen her like that. Cosima had been really strange for weeks after her panic attack, she was so distant from me that I couldn’t find even a small trace of our friendship in her, much less love. We barely talked, she ran out as soon as our classes were over and only texted me short messages about our projects. I even tried asking her sisters what was going on with her, but Sarah was in a terrible mood and Alison had no idea to why she was acting so weird. Maybe she fell out of love and was just trying to push me away to get rid of me. Maybe she was going through something and didn’t want to burden me with that. Either way, how would I know for sure if she didn’t talk to me?
“You’re really not going to tell me?”
“There’s nothing to tell” Cosima said pushing her bedroom door open and rapidly began searching a pile of papers for the half finished assignment
“Let’s find it so I can get out of your way then”
“No, Delph-” As soon as she realizes I'm helping her go through her things she tries to stop me. It's too late.
“What is this?” I hold up a huge envelope from University of Toronto addressed to her
“Dunno maybe Alison put her mail in my things” She says staring at the floor
“Do you think I'm stupid? It has your name in it. Did you get in?”
“I knew you would. And I'm happy for you, but…” I let out a heavy breath, my eyes filled with tears “Why didn't you tell me you were going to apply here? Are you staying?”
“Yes” She muttered under her breath
“Why didn't you tell me?”
“Because that was not your plan”
“You have to follow your dream”
“Mon Dieu, Cosima! What are you talking about?” My voice rose involuntarily and tears streamed down my face “I told you I didn't care where we applied, I only wanted to be with you. You were the one that's always dreamt about studying at Berkeley or Minnesota. I would've gone anywhere. I could've stayed here with you. It’s too late for that now”
“What’s done is done” She replied bluntly
“Why?” Was the only thing that came out of my mouth
“I can’t tell you, I just need to be here”
“I don’t care about why you need to stay, I just want to know why you didn’t tell me you were applying here”
“I don’t know”
“You want to break up with me don’t you?”
“No, of course not”
“Well, it sure doesn’t look like it. You’ve been all secretive and weird for the last couple of weeks because of this. And I get it, your family is here and all. But it was your plan to go. I could have stayed. I would have stayed” I look her in her eyes and see confusion and hurt as she fights back her own tears
“I love you” She lowered her head and whispered
“You are the one that always says that long distance never works and you expect me to believe you really want to be with me? We could figure something out, but it seems like you made your mind up. I won’t cramp your style in college, happy now?”
“Goodbye, Cosima” I stormed out angrily and was met with her sisters staring at me in shock and concerned
“What happened, Delphine?” Alison tried to hug me, but I kept walking
“Ask your sister” I answered running out to my car in tears
I got into the passenger side and sat there pouring my heart out through my eyes, trying to both figure out what had happened. That’s when the driver’s door opened and Sarah got in
“You’re not driving anywhere like this”
“I can, you can go back to your sister”
“Alison can handle her. You’re my friend too and I’m not letting you go home by yourself like this”
“You don’t- need to do this” I said between hiccups
“I know I don’t, but I want to”
“Th- thank you”
“Alright, I know just what you need right now” Sarah said as she started the car
“I didn’t know you could drive”
“Well… I’ve got my license”
Before I could even wrap my head around her words the car was going so fast it threw me off
“Slow down, Sarah”
“Sorry, can’t” She answered smiling mischievously before making a U turn
“Sarah! Mon Dieu!” At that point my fear had completely taking over the place of my tears and hiccups
“We’re here” She announced after parking abruptly
“Remind me to never let you drive my car again”
“You stopped crying, didn’t you?”
“Seems like it worked out fine. Now let’s go” I finally looked out and saw where we were
“Non, Sarah, I can’t be here right now”
“Of course you can, I know this makes you feel better”
“How? What if she comes here, this is her park?”
“If that happens we’ll figure it out. I know you always come here with her, but she doesn’t own shite”
“O- okay. Can we- ?”
“Yes, we’re getting that bloody ice cream, don’t worry”
Sarah proceeded to buy our ice creams while I sat on my usual bench, not wanting to face Tom and his questions about Cosima. As I look around, everything reminds me of her. What was supposed to be my grandmother’s grave, my favorite ice cream, my favorite place and even my cat, for god’s sake. How could she do this? I just wanted to be with her, why didn’t she at least tell me?
“Oi, Earth to Delphine” She handed me the ice cream “Wanna talk about it?”
“Is it over?”
“I think so, it’s not like I have much of a choice”
“I get it, it sucks. But it’s not the end of the world, ya know? You have a lot of friends that love you and we’re here to help you”
“I know, it’s just… hard. I didn’t expect this, it hasn’t hit me completely yet and I don’t know what will happen when it hits. Everything makes me think of her, we’re so alike, I honestly thought we were
soulmates” I said nervously while tearing up once again
“Look, you gotta chill a little okay? You’re a beautiful and smart woman, there are a lot of other girls in the world that’d be lucky to date you. Or boys, if you dig them too. And don’t ever tell anyone I’m being nice, I have a reputation to maintain” I giggled “Oh, she laughs. You’ve gotta be honest with me right now, Delphine. Are you alright? Like, I know this is terrible, but are you?”
“Not really, but I’ll be”
“Look, you can talk to me if you want to, you don’t have to deal with everything alone. I… I know you didn’t have the chickenpox last year”
“How? Oh, I can’t believe her!” I got up and started pacing around
“She didn’t tell me, calm down. Cal was sick, so I had to take him to the hospital and I saw Cosima there, so I followed her to your room and I just assumed… giving the wing and all… I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to pry, I just thought it was weird that she was there when she was supposed to be at school. I just wanna know if you’re okay” I sat back and tried to keep calm
“No one was supposed to know, not even Cosima. I’m glad she did though, she helped me through so much. It’s difficult to not having here here with me, but, for the record, I’m going to be fine. I have you, the gang, my maman, my psychiatrist. It’s okay, you don’t need to mother me or walk-” Sarah’s phone starts ringing. I already know how this is going to turn out
“Yeah, I know. Okay. Right… Bye” She hangs up and I’m already up
“Come on, I’ll give you a ride”
“How did you know?”
“I'm used to it”
The ride back to their house was spent with Sarah trying to reassure me everything would be okay while I kept thinking about one thing: Cosima. She was acting so strange towards the end. The end. How weird is it for me to say that? Very. Anyways, she’s had anxiety attacks lately, she hasn’t been fine, maybe that’s why she did everything. My thoughts continued until we got there and Sarah was ready to step out of the car.
“Sarah, wait!” She turned back to me “Thank you so much for being there for me”
“But I think Cosima needs you more right now and I won’t be mad if you stay by her side. She’s not okay, Sarah. Well, at least I think so. I’ll be fine, don’t worry”
“Delphine, I don’t pick sides. We are all one big fucked up family, I promise you I’ll try to help her, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help you too. We are in this shite together”
“Thank you. For everything”
“Call me if you need anything!”