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Eat Ass Smoke Grass

Chapter Text

GroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

 

Tuesday,1:37 AM

 

tonyisabigmood- Bruce homework 

 

tonyisabigmood- NOW

 

(aggressiveshrek sent homework.jpg)

 

aggressiveshrek- Dude just go to sleep

 

tonyisabigmood- blah blah blah thanks

 

natexehasstopworking- Tony why u still awake tho

 

tonyisabigmood- asked by the guy who never sleep

 

natexehasstopworking- ok then

 

arrowhead- so anyone knows bout the new students

 

aggressiveshrek- 3 right

 

natexehasstopworking- idk dude how old are they

 

arrowhead- they skipped grades but if im right 15

 

tonyisabigmood- my brain tells me to protecc our babies

 

natexehasstopworking- we need to protecc them at all cost

 

 

ProtectOurBabiesAtAllCost

 

Tuesday,1:40 AM

 

(tonyisabigmood added natexehasstopworking,arrowhead,aggressiveshrek,birbboi,fuckybarnes,capsicle,thortilla,rhodeyisland to the groupchat)

 

natexehasstopworking- G R E A T

 

rhodeyisland- Tone just go to sleep already

 

arrowhead- I just got their names

 

arrowhead- Peter,Shuri&Wanda

 

natexehasstopworking- p r o t e c c o u r b a b i e s

 

 

WelcomeJoinTheCult

 

Tuesday,7:28 AM

 

natexehasstopworking- OUR BABIES HAS ARRIVED

 

(natexehasstopworking sent O U R B A B I E S.jpg)

 

birbboi- I'm def adopting the Peter 

boy

 

arrowhead- just talked to the Shuri girl

 

arrowhead- she's a meme god!!!

 

arrowhead- IM ADDING HER

 

(arrowhead added yeetorbeyeeten to the groupchat)

 

yeetorbeyeeten- wanna sprite cranberry

 

natexehasstopworking- you're the chosen one

 

natexehasstopworking- welcome join our cult

 

yeetorbeyeeten- G R E A T

 

yeetorbeyeeten- but who are you tho

 

natexehasstopworking- I'm Nat I break others arms

 

birbboi- I'm Sam I sold my soul to Satan

 

arrowhead- I'm Clint we eat ass smoke grass

 

yeetorbeyeeten- N I C E

 

yeetorbeyeeten- I'm Jeff I Y E E T

 

 

GroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

 

Tuesday,8:46 AM

 

tonyisabigmood- anyone knows about our babies

 

thortilla- the Peter guy helped me to do my homework

 

thortilla- HE ALSO BUY ME POPTARTS!!!

 

tonyisabigmood- I'm adopting him

 

(thortilla added beterbarker to the groupchat)

 

beterbarker- hI

 

tonyisabigmood- hello kiddo show me you're dead inside

 

beterbarker- want some sprite cranberry flavor bleach for lunch

 

tonyisabigmood- you're the precious one

 

tonyisabigmood- where's your soul

 

beterbarker- Lucifer's hand

 

tonyisabigmood- you're a rare one

 

tonyisabigmood- Science boi?

 

beterbarker- BILL BILL BILL BILL

 

tonyisabigmood- N I C E

 

---

Tuesday,10:17 AM

 

(beterbarker added yeetorbeyeeten & redmagic the groupchat)

 

yeetorbeyeeten- wHeRE aRE We dRoPpiN bROs

 

yeetorbeyeeten- actually the meme is cringy

 

redmagic- shut up I'm doing surgery on a fucking grape

 

natexehasstopworking- l o o k a t o u r b a b i e s

 

beterbarker- hello fellow humans

 

birbboi- hello Peter you're adopted

 

beterbarker- T H A N K S D A D

 

tonyisabigmood- :(

 

beterbarker- *D A D S

 

yeetorbeyeeten- what's the purpose of this gc

 

redmagic- idk memes?

 

arrowhead- wdk either

 

beterbarker- I'm Peter btw I drink bleach

 

yeetorbeyeeten- I'm Shuri I y e e t 

 

redmagic- I'm Wanda I bitch lasagna everyone

 

fuckybarnes- hi

 

beterbarker- Jesus?

 

fuckybarnes- yes?

 

---

Tuesday,1:48 PM

 

natexehasstopworking- WANDA YOU MAD LAD

 

snekyboi- what happened

 

natexehasstopworking- she played Bitch Lasagna with the school speakers after a teacher pissed her off

 

snekyboi- I S T A N

 

tonyisabigmood- and then my whole class chose to sing along until Coulson shows up

 

tonyisabigmood- I can even heard Clint yelled "I STAN" from my class

 

arrowhead- REALLY

 

natexehasstopworking- jokes aside is she in trouble

 

beterbarker- the answer is surprisingly no

 

beterbarker- she framed another guy for this

 

tonyisabigmood- idk if I should be proud or not

 

fuckybarnes- whatever I stan

 

rhodeyisland- *we stan

Chapter Text

Odinsons


Wednesday,3:09 AM


thortilla- LOKI WHAT THE HELL


snekyboi- what now


thortilla- YOUR SNAKES!!!


snekyboi- it's just a few little snakes


imhelapissed- bitches I'm trying to sleep stfu


snekyboi- it's your brother's fault just tell him to shut up


thortilla- loki I swear if you don't take your snakes back I'm killing them


snekyboi- ALRIGHT


snekyboi- don't hurt them


imhelapissed- finally


aggressiveshrek- this house is a fucking disaster



SoulsAreSold™


Wednesday,4:57 AM


tonyisabigmood- Bruce you here?


aggressiveshrek- what Tone


tonyisabigmood- I need your help


aggressiveshrek- what monster under your bed


tonyisabigmood- well you're close


tonyisabigmood- I think my dad is trying to kill me


natexehasstopworking- DUDE YOU OKAY


aggressiveshrek- what happened


tonyisabigmood- I broke the coffee machine and you knows how everyone is addicted to caffeine


natexehasstopworking- you need help


tonyisabigmood- just get me out of here


aggressiveshrek- I'm comin to get u


tonyisabigmood- thanks



WelcomeJoinTheCult™


Wednesday,8:17 AM


capsicle- What happened to Tony's face???


capsicle- did he get into a fight or what


natexehasstopworking- his dad tried to kill him


capsicle- why???


natexehasstopworking- bad anger management without caffeine


capsicle- should I talk to him


natexehasstopworking- of course you should instead of texting me



TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor


Wednesday,8:36 AM


tonyisabigmood- CAN EVERYONE STOP TALKING ABOUT MY FACE


tonyisabigmood- it's annoying


rhodeyisland- I don't think you can survive this long without us


capsicle- yeah if Bruce wasn't there you'll be way worse


tonyisabigmood- okay all aside where's our meme gods


beterbarker- ello


birbboi- wyd


beterbarker- yeeting at people who are dead inside with Shuri


tonyisabigmood- you missed one


natexehasstopworking- *two


arrowhead- where's our legend tho


beterbarker- being popular


natexehasstopworking- :o


natexehasstopworking- I low-keyly think Wanda is hot


arrowhead- Nat your gay side is showing


natexehasstopworking- oops


beterbarker- Wanda is our lord and savior


tonyisabigmood- ^^^


thortilla- Wanda high-fived me I'm never gonna wash my hand!!


snekyboi- plz don't


natexehasstopworking- no offense but why is Loki here tho he's not even in our school


snekyboi- idk either ask Tony


tonyisabigmood- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯



---


Wednesday,11:38 AM


birbboi- ALL HAIL OUR LEGEND WANDA


natexehasstopworking- B I T C H L A S A G N A


snekyboi- details?


arrowhead- Wanda started singing Bitch Lasagna in the hall with a megaphone


natexehasstopworking- just becuz someone is being an ass bout what happened yesterday


snekyboi- W E S T A N


beterbarker- "This asshole ain't nothing but a bitch lasagna"


(beterbarker sent BITCH LASAGNA.mov to the groupchat)


tonyisabigmood- Wanda is the real god™


snekyboi- I can't believe a mortal impressed me


birbboi- plz tell me Wanda isn't in trouble


natexehasstopworking- I just looked at Coulson's face


natexehasstopworking- he seems impressed


birbboi- I think that's a good sign



WelcomeJoinTheCult™


Wednesday,11:57 AM


(natexehasstopworking added yeetorbeyeeten & redmagic to the groupchat)


yeetorbeyeeten- IT'S WEDNESDAY MAH DUDE


redmagic- AAAAAAAAA


beterbarker- hello fellow humans


natexehasstopworking- hello our children


yeetorbeyeeten- we just yeeted at Principle Fury he looked confused


beterbarker- that was fun


arrowhead- we stan our babies



TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor


Wednesday,1:27 PM


tonyisabigmood- anything interesting today after school


tonyisabigmood- I can't go back after what happened


aggressiveshrek- :(


thortilla- wanna stay in my house


aggressiveshrek- I'm also there


tonyisabigmood- as long as Hela isn't trying to kill all of us


imhelapissed- excuse me?


tonyisabigmood- 0x0


tonyisabigmood- anyone else


capsicle- can I join


thortilla- sure :)


capsicle- I'll buy you poptarts


thortilla- :)



Wednesday,1:38 PM


natexehasstopworking- TONY WHAT HAVE YOU DONE


tonyisabigmood- I DON'T KNOW THINGS JUST EXPLODED 


birbboi- I'M TWO BLOCKS AWAY AND I CAN STILL HEAR IT


tonyisabigmood- I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED I'M NOT EXPERT AT EXPLODING STUFF


snekyboi- :)


thortilla- Loki don't tell me that's you


tonyisabigmood- I'M GONNA KILL YOU




Chapter Text

WelcomeJoinTheCult™

 

Wednesday,4:36 PM

 

natexehasstopworking- tea

 

birbboi- spill

 

natexehasstopworking- Steve & Bucky made out in the park

 

natexehasstopworking- for like 7 minutes

 

arrowhead- I ship it

 

birbboi- we all know this is gonna happen

 

natexehasstopworking- now they're having coffee at Starbucks

 

beterbarker- Nat you're stalking them!?

 

natexehasstopworking- that's my hobby

 

birbboi- this should be in Big Gay Energy

 

arrowhead- yeah

 

 

Big Gay Energy

 

Wednesday,4:42

 

(birbboi sent screenshot.jpg to the groupchat)

 

tonyisabigmood- I ship it

 

(natexehasstopworking added beterbarker to the groupchat)

 

natexehasstopworking- we need a ship name

 

beterbarker- STUCKY FOREVER

 

arrowhead- STUCKY STUCKY STUCKY

 

tonyisabigmood- more tea?

 

(natexehasstopworking sent stucky.jpg)

 

tonyisabigmood- N I C E

 

capsicle- Nat can u stop stalking us

 

natexehasstopworking- no :)

 

tonyisabigmood- I still ship ThorBruce more tho

 

birbboi- tea?

 

tonyisabigmood- they start making out everytime Loki & Hela aren't there

 

natexehasstopworking- dayumm

 

tonyisabigmood- they nearly fuck yesterday

 

birbboi- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

natexehasstopworking- STUCKY IS CANON

 

(natexehasstopworking sent STUCKY IS CANON.jpg to the groupchat)

 

birbboi- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

tonyisabigmood- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

beterbarker- Steve's hand is blessed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

natexehasstopworking- Bucky's lips are lucky

 

tonyisabigmood- Steve's dick is-

 

birbboi- Tony that's enough

 

birbboi- there's kid here

 

beterbarker- hewwo

 

 

---

 

Wednesday,5:07 PM

 

capsicle- you guys still remember I'm here right

 

Chapter Text

Odinsons


Wednesday,11:42 PM


(aggressiveshrek added tonyisabigmood to the groupchat)


aggressiveshrek- he'll stay here until everything is back to normal


tonyisabigmood- :)



---


Thursday,1:27 AM


thortilla- AAAAAAAAA


imhelapissed- bitch wtf


aggressiveshrek- LOKI YOU SON OF A BITCH


tonyisabigmood- are they poisonous


snekyboi- as poisonous as me


tonyisabigmood- even if my aesthetic is killed by hundreds of snake but not now!!!


thortilla- LOKI I SWEAR


snekyboi- THOR I CAN'T EVEN CONTROL THEM 


aggressiveshrek- DAMN YOU LOKI


tonyisabigmood- THIS IS WHY I HATE YOU


snekyboi- SHUT UP THEY ALSO TRY TO KILL ME


aggressiveshrek- HELA DO SOMETHING


imhelapissed- THEY ARE HANGING ON MY ARM!!!!!


thortilla- AAAAAAAAA



TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor


Thursday,6:27 AM


capsicle- Tony you alright


tonyisabigmood- no


tonyisabigmood- I need somewhere to stay


capsicle- what happened


aggressiveshrek- ask Loki


snekyboi- SHUT UP I'M ALSO A VICTIM


aggressiveshrek- of your own snakes


tonyisabigmood- is anyone available today


beterbarker- sorry Tony I'm not home today


natexehasstopworking- My mom is gonna kill me if you come over


capsicle- sorry pal :(


beterbarker- what if you just stay in school the whole day


beterbarker- hide in the locker until everyone is gone


tonyisabigmood- that sounds insane


tonyisabigmood- I'm adding it to my list


natexehasstopworking- which list


tonyisabigmood- things that sound crazy that I definitely won't do even tho they sound cool


tonyisabigmood- Peter what are you smokin


capsicle- that actually sounds good


tonyisabigmood- no shit Steve



Big Gay Energy


Thursday,10:36 AM


birbboi- tea


natexehasstopworking- spill


birbboi- Bucky & Steve are going to a bar tonight


natexehasstopworking- more info?


birbboi- no :(


tonyisabigmood- should I go to ruin everything


aggressiveshrek- nO


natexehasstopworking- anyone knows why Bucky is hella gay


tonyisabigmood- becuz Steve exists


tonyisabigmood- don't we all gay for a man


natexehasstopworking- Wanda is kinda hawt



---


Thursday,5:07 PM


natexehasstopworking- They're going to the bar tonight


natexehasstopworking- I'm def stalking them


beterbarker- aww I'm out of town today :(


birbboi- I can't sneak out


tonyisabigmood- B I G M O O D


tonyisabigmood- is Bucky tryin to get laid


natexehasstopworking- I think



TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor


Thursday,7:51 PM


aggressiveshrek- Tony where are you


tonyisabigmood- Starbucks


thortilla- where are you staying tonight


tonyisabigmood- idk hby


aggressiveshrek- idk Clint's place


thortilla- btw where's Clint 


thortilla- I never saw him in school


tonyisabigmood- same



Big Gay Energy


Thursday,11:56 PM


tonyisabigmood- where's our love birds


natexehasstopworking- They're at the bar now


birbboi- what are they doing


natexehasstopworking- Just having some drinks


tonyisabigmood- now we just wait for them to be drunk



---


Friday,12:24 AM


natexehasstopworking- TONY PLZ TELL ME THAT'S NOT YOU


birbboi- what's going on


natexehasstopworking- I think I spotted Tony being extremely drunk


birbboi- in the bar!?


natexehasstopworking- YES


natexehasstopworking- EXTREMELY DRUNK


natexehasstopworking- should I go talk to him


birbboi- what is he even doing


natexehasstopworking- walking around and be the Tony "probably makes offensive jokes" Stark


natexehasstopworking- his jokes are very offensive


birbboi- idk if you should stop him tho


birbboi- Tony aside how's Stucky


natexehasstopworking- going pretty well


natexehasstopworking- Bucky is still trying to get laid


birbboi- 0.0


(natexehasstopworking sent Stucky2.jpg to the groupchat)


birbboi- Bucky's ass have better luck than me( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


natexehasstopworking- I bet 5 bucks Bucky is not gonna walk normally tomorrow


natexehasstopworking- Fuck


birbboi- Nat you okay


natexehasstopworking- Tony is near


birbboi- you?


natexehasstopworking- no Steve


birbboi- oh fuck


natexehasstopworking- wait STEVE'S HAND


(natexehasstopworking sent stucky4ever.jpg to the groupchat)


birbboi- that smooth son of a bitch

Chapter Text

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

 

Friday,6:20 AM

 

yeetorbeyeeten- anyone has music class today

 

tonyisabigmood- why tho

 

yeetorbeyeeten- just curious

 

birbboi- me

 

tonyisabigmood- so multiple classes have music class together then

 

aggressiveshrek- yup

 

yeetorbeyeeten- Tony don't ditch the class

 

tonyisabigmood- why

 

yeetorbeyeeten- you'll see ;)

 

 

---

 

Friday,8:51 AM

 

yeetorbeyeeten- Tony you know how to play a saxophone

 

tonyisabigmood- are you thinking what I'm thinking

 

yeetorbeyeeten- :)

 

 

WelcomeJoinTheCult™

 

Friday,9:36 AM

 

natexehasstopworking- Sam what's happening with the music class

 

arrowhead- I heard crab rave

 

birbboi- I'm dead

             ——————

                 inside

 

natexehasstopworking- that saxophone tho

 

fuckybarnes- mEgALovANiA

 

fuckybarnes- I Have

                      —————

                       No Life

 

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

 

Friday,10:07 AM

 

tonyisabigmood- we are getting detention YAY

 

natexehasstopworking- what now

 

yeetorbeyeeten- I think that's Sam's Fs

 

tonyisabigmood- and Bruce's mEgALovANiA

 

aggressiveshrek- hey how bout u

 

natexehasstopworking- so that's you guys

 

yeetorbeyeeten- of course that's us

 

tonyisabigmood- I REGRET NOTHING

 

aggressiveshrek- that's what I call a POSITIVE MENTAL ALTITUDE

 

fuckybarnes- YOU GUYS ARE ICONIC NOW

 

yeetorbeyeeten- WE ARE THE MEME LORDS

 

 

---

 

Friday,1:17 PM

 

arrowhead- hey wanna go ice skating tomorrow

 

tonyisabigmood- why tho

 

arrowhead- becuz Peter says so

 

natexehasstopworking- If our babies are going I'm going

 

fuckybarnes- add me in

 

birbboi- wait I can't ice skate

 

capsicle- we all can't

 

tonyisabigmood- I'm just gonna be the guy who Oof at people

 

 

Protect Our Babies At All Cost

 

Friday,7:45 PM

 

natexehasstopworking- TONY YOU LET SHURI GOT A DETENTION IN HER FIRST WEEK OF THE SCHOOL

 

tonyisabigmood- you sound like I know what's gonna happen

 

tonyisabigmood- I don't know we're gonna be in trouble

 

birbboi- it's kinda my fault for agreeing this

 

natexehasstopworking- actually just forget what happened

 

tonyisabigmood- btw is Shuri & Wanda with us tomorrow

 

natexehasstopworking- I think they're gonna be there with Peter

 

arrowhead- so we're gonna be full on protective big brothers/sisters mode?

 

tonyisabigmood- of course

 

birbboi- if any of them fall we're going to die

Chapter Text

Odinsons


Friday,10:47 PM


thortilla- Loki are you done


snekyboi- of course not


snekyboi- I'm not some kind of wizard


imhelapissed- Thank you for FUCKING UP THE WHOLE HOUSE


snekyboi- OH STFU AND LICK MY BALLS


imhelapissed- OH TRY ME BITCH


snekyboi- BITCH I WON'T HESITATE



Big Gay Energy


Friday,11:36 PM


tonyisabigmood- I'm the luckiest man on earth


natexehasstopworking- what


tonyisabigmood- just met a hawt dude


(tonyisabigmood sent hotdude.jpg to the groupchat)


natexehasstopworking- damn he's hot


fuckybarnes- that cheekbones


thortilla- that fabulous eyes


birbboi- you're a lucky one


birbboi- what's his name


tonyisabigmood- Stephen Strange


natexehasstopworking- where are u tho


tonyisabigmood- a bar


fuckybarnes- ask for his number


thortilla- are we just giving Tones advices


birbboi- we're trying to let our friend get laid


tonyisabigmood- he's fabulous



Protect Our Babies At All Cost


Friday,11:59 PM


fuckybarnes- anyone actually knows how ice skating works


fuckybarnes- please don't tell me we're just gonna fall gracefully the whole day


tonyisabigmood- this is why I choose to oofing around


arrowhead- I think Peter is good at this


birbboi- the only thing I know is Clint is gonna just lay down and cry


natexehasstopworking- big mood



Odinsons


Saturday,1:32 AM


imhelapissed- THOR BRUCE KEEP IT DOWN WE ALREADY KNOW YOU'RE GAY AF


snekyboi- THOR WE DON'T NEED TO KNOW YOU'RE FUCKING BRUCE



TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor


Saturday,7:52 AM


beterbarker- I'M SO HYPED


yeetorbeyeeten- I never ice skate before


thortilla- we all know nothing bout ice skating


redmagic- I may be kicking ass but ice skating is more than just a mess


tonyisabigmood- this is gonna be my yearbook quote


natexehasstopworking- Wanda you're the best


redmagic- :3



---


Saturday,11:09 AM


capsicle- Tones borrow me your car


tonyisabigmood- sorry can't help


tonyisabigmood- u know Bucky has a car right


capsicle- what kind off boyfriend wait for their lover to pick them up


tonyisabigmood- so you're the top then


capsicle- shit now everyone knows



---


Saturday,1:48 PM


arrowhead- me Peter & Nat are heading to the ice rink hby


tonyisabigmood- almost there


fuckybarnes- we're already there


natexehasstopworking- damn you fast


birbboi- Wanda is getting ready


yeetorbeyeeten- I'm watching Steve & Bucky eye fucking rn


thortilla- we're on our way



---


Saturday,1:54 PM


tonyisabigmood- everyone is here


capsicle- yup


natexehasstopworking- can we just talk to each group on our phone


natexehasstopworking- I don't think others want a bunch of teenagers yelling around


beterbarker- okie dokie



---


tonyisabigmood- Steve you lied to us


capsicle- what


tonyisabigmood- you said you don't know how to ice skate


tonyisabigmood- but now you're showing off


capsicle- maybe I'm just smarter than everyone


tonyisabigmood- no shit sherlock


aggressiveshrek- Nat why are you yelling


natexehasstopworking- I TOLD KATNISS I DONT NEED HIS HELP


arrowhead- THEN JUST GET YOUR HAND AWAY FROM THE HANDLE


natexehasstopworking- NO IM PERFECTLY FINE


birbboi- Thor Bruce you can't just make out when you're bored


tonyisabigmood- Sam you can't just lay on the ice!


birbboi- y e s i c a n


arrowhead- damn Peter & Shuri are the total gods


fuckybarnes- Wanda you're just gonna stay beside Tony?


redmagic- I prefer NOT to embarrass myself in front of everyone


arrowhead- Nah you're fine nothing is more ridiculous than Nat


natexehasstopworking- U R GONNA BE DED


capsicle- is it just me or Loki is also here


beterbarker- Tony just go to oof at Nat


natexehasstopworking- Peter u betrayed me :(


natexehasstopworking- Tony I swear to god


capsicle- so am I the only one cares bout Loki existence


snekyboi- hello


thortilla- Loki y r u here


snekyboi- becuz UR FUCKING SISTER WAS TRYING TO KILL ME


thortilla- IT'S BECUZ OF UR FUCKING POISONOUS SNEKS


tonyisabigmood- oof


natexehasstopworking- Thor Loki just go back to ur own gc we don't need you guys fighting over sneks


beterbarker- I just realized ice skating with friends is the worst idea

Chapter Text

Big Gay Energy

 

Saturday,5:15 PM

 

tonyisabigmood- just realize I'm too gay for Stephen

 

natexehasstopworking- Do you mean:extremely gay

 

tonyisabigmood- welp youre right

 

natexehasstopworking- btw do u know whats Wanda fav color

 

birbboi- why u asking tho

 

natexehasstopworking- none of ur business

 

tonyisabigmood- asking bout ur crush's fav color

 

tonyisabigmood- hmm seems normal

 

natexehasstopworking- just answer me already

 

fuckybarnes- ok ok

 

fuckybarnes- red & black

 

 

---

 

Saturday,7:00 PM

 

capsicle- tea

 

capsicle- Thor just shared a coffee with Bruce at Starbucks

 

beterbarker- 0.0

 

tonyisabigmood- ThorBruce is more canon than Stucky

 

natexehasstopworking- do u even remember what happened with Stucky last time

 

tonyisabigmood- Steve did u guys fuck

 

capsicle- why

 

tonyisabigmood- this is a yes or no question

 

fuckybarnes- welp almost becuz you showed up for no reason

 

natexehasstopworking- Oof

 

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

 

Saturday,9:10 PM

 

tonyisabigmood- hELp

 

tonyisabigmood- WHAT THE HECK IS SHERLOCK

 

aggressiveshrek- yknow the book u read years ago

 

tonyisabigmood- ik who Sherlock Holmes is okay I'm not an idiot

 

tonyisabigmood- I mean the weird tv show

 

beterbarker- oh that show

 

beterbarker- kinda good why

 

tonyisabigmood- Stephen loves that show

 

natexehasstopworking- just watch that damn show urself it's not like it's Supernatural

 

tonyisabigmood- I don't want to sit through a show if it's gonna be shit

 

beterbarker- the show is kinda gr8

 

arrowhead- just binge it with him

 

arrowhead- people usually rewatch a show over & over again until they die

 

tonyisabigmood- good idea katniss

 

arrowhead- stop calling me katniss

 

tonyisabigmood- whatever legolas

Chapter Text

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

 

Sunday,1:59 PM

 

natexehasstopworking- Tones

 

tonyisabigmood- what

 

natexehasstopworking- u owe us a trip to Target

 

tonyisabigmood- what happened again

 

natexehasstopworking- the whole "We didn't hide in the vent just to listen to the whole meaningless conversation" thing

 

tonyisabigmood- oh yeah that thing exists

 

arrowhead- yay a trip to Target

 

birbboi- so we can get everything we want?

 

fuckybarnes- Nat count me in

 

tonyisabigmood- Nat I though it's only u & legolas

 

natexehasstopworking- nope

 

beterbarker- can I join

 

natexehasstopworking- of course Peter

 

beterbarker- ^ω^

 

thortilla- get me some nice poptarts

 

beterbarker- got it

 

 

WelcomeJoinTheCult™

 

Sunday,2:33 PM

 

birbboi- what happened last time tho

 

natexehasstopworking- the thing?

 

birbboi- yeah the thing

 

birbboi- I forgot

 

arrowhead- fury & coulson

 

fuckybarnes- why that thing happened again

 

natexehasstopworking- Tony was bored

 

beterbarker- what exactly happened tho

 

arrowhead- story for another day

 

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

 

Sunday,3:01 PM

 

birbboi- TARGET TARGET TARGET

 

natexehasstopworking- CLINT DRIVE US TO TARGET

 

arrowhead- okie dokie

 

beterbarker- HEEEELLLLL YEEEEEAAAAHHH

 

aggressiveshrek- ToNy hOW bOut ME u oWe mE a lOT

 

tonyisabigmood- next time sweetie

 

yeetorbeyeeten- did u just call Bruce sweetie

 

tonyisabigmood- btw no homo

 

fuckybarnes- Do you mean:I'm gay af

 

arrowhead- TONY WHERE R U

 

arrowhead- WE'RE ALREADY THERE

 

tonyisabigmood- JUST LOOK AT THE ENTRANCE

 

tonyisabigmood- I thought u r deaf not blind

 

yeetorbeyeeten- OOF

 

redmagic- DESTRUCTION 100

 

birbboi- PETER LETS GO TO ASSERT DOMINANCE

 

thortilla- yknow u r gonna be the cringy target guy after a few months

 

fuckybarnes- Nat where's Clint

 

natexehasstopworking- idek

 

(tonyisabigmood sent cringytargetguy.jpg to the groupchat)

 

tonyisabigmood- Sam plz tell me that's not u

 

beterbarker- fuck everyone now I'm famous

 

yeetorbeyeeten- NO PETER NO

 

thortilla- DONT FORGET MY POPTARTS

 

natexehasstopworking- yeah got it

 

thortilla- yay

 

arrowhead- I'M BUYING 10 PILLOWS FOR MY PILLOWFORT

 

tonyisabigmood- there's that many pillow in Target

 

birbboi- damn that shit is expensive af

 

fuckybarnes- hey Nat lets just break things so we have reasons to buy them

 

redmagic- NO BUCKY NO

 

natexehasstopworking- YES BUCKY YES

 

tonyisabigmood- u guys r toddlers or wut

 

tonyisabigmood- NAT STOP WE'RE NOT GOING ONTO THE BLACKLIST THIS TIME

 

fuckybarnes- Tony u sound like a fucking adult

 

tonyisabigmood- we're not here just to get yell at!!!

 

beterbarker- YES WE ARE

 

arrowhead- Stark cash register 4

 

tonyisabigmood- UGHHH COMING

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

WelcomeJoinTheCult

Tuesday,9:22 PM

 

natexehasstopworking- UGHHH

natexehasstopworking- I HATE FIELD TRIP

arrowhead- just ditch it DUH

birbboi- plz dun tell me we r all ditching tomorrow

fuckybarnes- wont the teacher thinks its kinda suspicious

arrowhead- fuck that teacher

arrowhead- wait what if we just kill the teacher

arrowhead- BOOM PROBLEM SOLVED

birbboi- no shit legolas

fuckybarnes- Clint Barton  beinganidiotsince2001

natexehasstopworking- DESTRUCTION 100

arrowhead- :(

beterbarker- oof

birbboi- anyone has a slightly complex excuse for tomorrow

natexehasstopworking- just say Buckys mom needs us for some weird reasons

fuckybarnes- wtf Nat

fuckybarnes- u think she will buy that 

birbboi- Nat u hang out with Clint too much

beterbarker- natyourstupidityisshowing

arrowhead- Peter give us some ideas

natexehasstopworking- hELp

beterbarker- dun look at me

beterbarker- I'm bad at these

birbboi- fuck everything we're just gonna disappear for a day

natexehasstopworking- yeah fuck everything

 

Untitled Groupchat

Tuesday,10:23 PM

 

(natexehasstopworking added tonyisabigmood to the groupchat)

natexehasstopworking- Tones wyd

tonyisabigmood- just laying beside Stephen after a nice hardcore sex

natexehasstopworking- I dun need details

natexehasstopworking- btw r u ditching the the school tomorrow

tonyisabigmood- not exactly why

natexehasstopworking- just to make sure Peter has someone to keep his company

tonyisabigmood- Steve & Bruce are there

tonyisabigmood- I just told Peter to text us if shit is going down

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Tuesday,11:46 PM

 

tonyisabigmood- whoever think field trip is a great idea can suck my dick

capsicle- I think field trip is good actually

tonyisabigmood- ik u want to suck my dick but dun talk to me ever again

thortilla- why u think field trip is good tho

capsicle- welp at least u dun need to be in ur seat the whole day

tonyisabigmood- field trip will be good if we actually go to somewhere decent

tonyisabigmood- I dun want to be stuck in a fucking museum with everyone I hate

natexehasstopworking- actually where are we going tho

arrowhad- idk I was asleep

birbboi- same

aggressiveshrek- i dun even care

capsicle- so am I the only one who actually care about it

beterbarker- basically yeah

 

Meme Palace

Wednesday,12:00 AM

 

yeetorbeyeeten- its wednesday mah dude

beterbarker- AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

redmagic- wanna sprite cranberry

thortilla- I lowkeyly want a sprite cranberry

snekyboi- just buy it

snekyboi- get me three

tonyisabigmood- u guys going to target?

tonyisabigmood- get me a reason to live

beterbarker- so

beterbarker- 10 Stephen clones then

birbboi- I thought this is meme palace not big gay energy

yeetorbeyeeten- is this Nat or Sam

birbboi- its Nat

thortilla- y u r on Sams phome

birbboi- Clints pillowfort is extremely comfy btw

snekyboi- so sleepover?

birbboi- sort of

tonyisabigmood- so he actually use all of them to build a fucking pillowfort

birbboi- yup

tonyisabigmood- its a waste of money but I lowkeyly want one

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Wednesday,7:00 AM

 

 beterbarker- Tony r u with us today

tonyisabigmood- only the first part & the last part

aggressiveshrek- then what r u gonna do

tonyisabigmood- just walk around 

tonyisabigmood- probably will get some Starbucks

atexehasstopworking- how bout sexting Stephen

tonyisabigmood- he has Spanish quiz today :(

natexehasstopworking- I'm just gonna watch The Office the whole day

arrowhead- Steve sucks to suck

capsicle- I actually qiute enjoy field trip

birbboi- I've lost all my faith in humanity

 

---

 

Wednesday,9:23 PM

 

(beterbarker sent ohdamnohdamnohdamn.mp4 to the groupchat)

beterbarker- SHIT IS GOING DOWN

beterbarker- I think someones gonna die

capsicle- SNED HLEP

natexehasstopworking- BINGO

tonyisabigmood- I'm kinda sad becuz I'm not there

thortilla- Nat wut

natexehasstopworking- field trip bingo with Clint

birbboi- it's actually a thing!?

birbboi- I thought u r just sayin

tonyisabigmood- wut is on the list tho

natexehasstopworking- I'll dm u later

tonyisabigmood- k

aggressiveshrek- no one dies tho 

natexehasstopwoking- :(

Chapter Text

Odinsons

 

Wednesday,10:50 PM

 

imhelapissed- bitch u done yet

snekyboi- stfu or I'll kill ur stupid dog

imhelapissed- u touch Fenris I'll snap ur bones into the amount of ur snakes

thortilla- Loki ffs just kill the sneks

snekyboi- how bout I kill ur boyfriend

imhelapissed- 5 more minutes or I'll snap ur bones into thousands pieces

snekyboi- who u think I am?a witch?

thortilla- bruh u r a witch

snekyboi- shut up u son of a bitch

imhelapissed- 3 minutes

imhelapissed- it's fun to snap ur brother's bones

 

---

 

Wednesday,11:23 PM

 

thortilla- WHERES MY POPTARTS

thortilla- LOKI

snekyboi- hey it's not me

snekyboi- I'm not interested in your midgardian snacks

snekyboi- and also how dare u to assume it's me first!!!

thortilla- HELA!!!

imhelapissed- HEY IT COULD BE UR BOYFRIEND

aggressiveshrek- no shit hela

thortilla- HELA I SWEAR IF THIS THIS HAPPEN AGAIN U R DED

imhelapissed- oh I'm so scared

imhelapissed- the god of thunder is trying to kill the goddess of death

 

---

 

Thursday,2:32 AM

 

imhelapissed- hello everyone I'm still alive

imhelapissed- and the god of thunder is ded his body is somewhere around

snekyboi- OOF

thortilla- hela

imhelapissed- WHAT NOW SPARKLE BOY

thortilla- you'd like to check on Fenris

imhelapissed- LOKI

snekyboi- boi calm ur tits he's not ded

imhelapissed- Thor say goodbye to ur brother

imhelapissed- Loki say goodbye to ur organs

snekyboi- GEEZ DUDE he's not ded

imhelapissed- but you are

aggressiveshrek- plzjustkillmealready

 

---

 

Thursday,3:21 AM

 

aggressiveshrek- why is everyone try to kill each other

thortilla- becuz I'm the god of thunder

snekyboi- I'm the god of mischief

imhelapissed- and I am the goddess of death

snekyboi- and together

imhelapissed- we become disaster

thortilla- becuz we're siblings

aggressiveshrek- plzjustkillmealready

Chapter Text

Big Gay Energy

Friday,7:33 AM

 

(beterbarker added theslutumetattarget to the groupchat)

theslutumetattarget- I'M GAY IT'S OFFICIAL NOW

theslutumetattarget- I'M FUCKING PETER NOW

theslutumetattarget- AND THEN U R THE NEXT

natexehasstopworking- dude stop

theslutumetattarget- I'M GONNA FUCK U SO HARD THAT U CAN'T WALK FOR THE WHOLE YEAR

fuckybarnes- srsly stop

theslutumetattarget- U R GONNA BEG FOR IT LIKE A PUPPY

(tonyisabigmood removed theslutumetattarget from the groupchat)

natexehasstopworking- FINALLY

natexehasstopworking- Pete who's that

tonyisabigmood- plz don't tell me that ur boyfriend Wade

beterbarker- umm no promise

birbboi- WE CAN'T LET OUR BABY HANG OUT WITH THIS GUY

 

Protect Our Babies At All Cost

Friday,7:42 AM

 

birbboi- WE CAN'T LET OUR BABY HANG OUT WITH THIS GUY

tonyisabigmood- we need to stop this Wade guy

natexehasstopworking- I'm ready

arrowhead- Nat I like ur idea but we can't do that

natexehasstopworking- YES WE CAN

birbboi- Tony u r his fav do smth

tonyisabigmood- bro I'm trying

tonyisabigmood- I kinda h8 that guy but Peter loves him

tonyisabigmood- we can't just kill him or kidnap him y'know

arrowhead- make Peter hates him?

birbboi- it could work right

natexehasstopworking- wait let me summon Steve

natexehasstopworking- @capsicle

capsicle- wut

natexehasstopworking- Could Clint's idea works

capsicle- it's good tbh

tonyisabigmood- no we're not doing that

tonyisabigmood- we r basically sabotaging our son's relationship

natexehasstopworking- w/o context we look like communists

arrowhead- tru

natexehasstopworking- jokes aside what are we supposed to do

tonyisabigmood- talk to him?

 

Untitled Groupchat

Friday,8:08 AM

 

(tonyisabigmood added natexehasstopworking & theslutumetattarget to the groupchat)

natexehasstopworking- WHAT DID U DO TO PETER

tonyisabigmood- calm ur tits Nat

tonyisabigmood-morning Wade

theslutumetattarget- I assume u r Tony Peter's favorite right

tonyisabigmood- welp kinda

tonyisabigmood- u r dating Peter if I'm right

theslutumetattarget- very right

natexehasstopworking- which level

theslutumetattarget- "I'm ready to fuck u in front of everyone if u r okay"level

natexehasstopworking- dude it's only like a week and a half

theslutumetattarget- that's a long relationship for me

theslutumetattarget- I can get laid in a minute

tonyisabigmood- my record is 30 seconds

natexehasstopworking- guys not now

theslutumetattarget- hey we r bro-ing rn

tonyisabigmood- no we're not

theslutumetattarget- yes we are

tonyisabigmood- no we're not

theslutumetattarget- fine

theslutumetattarget- so what now

tonyisabigmood- what happened in the gc

theslutumetattarget- oh yeah that

tonyisabigmood- stop spamming some weird ass shit or u r gone

natexehasstopworking- irl

theslutumetattarget- k man calm ur tits

theslutumetattarget- I'll stop k

theslutumetattarget- can I say offensive jokes

tonyisabigmood- Nat what's my middle name again

natexehasstopworking- Umm

natexehasstopworking- Alwaystelloffensivejokes

tonyisabigmood- u got a pass

theslutumetattarget- yay?

natexehasstopworking- what's with ur name tho

theslutumetattarget- just the slut u met at target

 

Chapter Text

Science Bros

Friday,11:43 PM

 

tonyisabigmood- Peter homework

beterbarker- answers?

tonyisabigmood- yup

beterbarker- why tho

beterbarker- just do it urself u r the smartest

tonyisabigmood- do u remember my middle name is Imnotwastingmytimeontheseworthlessshit

beterbarker- but why me tho

tonyisabigmood- I can't find Bruce

tonyisabigmood- .-.

beterbarker- FINE

(beterbarker sent homework.jpg to the groupchat)

tonyisabigmood- thanks son I owe u once

yeetorbeyeeten- Aww you guys are so sweet

yeetorbeyeeten- BTW Peter 

yeetorbeyeeten- wanna come over

beterbarker- hell yeah

 

---

 

Saturday,2:29 AM

 

tonyisabigmood- Bruce

tonyisabigmood- BRUCE

tonyisabigmood- @aggressiveshrek

tonyisabigmood- BRUCE I NEED UR HELP

beterbarker- wut Tony

beterbarker- go to sleep

tonyisabigmood- PETE CAN U DRIVE

tonyisabigmood- SNED HLEP

beterbarker- kinda

beterbarer- what happened

tonyisabigmood- my dad tries to murdedr me

beterbarker- IM ON MY WAY

tonyisabigmood- quick i cant just hiding arounf

beterbarker- pack ur stuff

tonyisabigmood- trying

tonyisabigmood- QUICK HES CLOSE

beterbarker- ALMOST THERE WHICH FLOOR ARE YOU ON RN

tonyisabigmood- stay near the balcony

tonyisabigmood- im there

beterbarker- JUMP DUMBASS

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Saturday,3:02 AM

 

natexehasstopworking- Tones explain

tonyisabigmood- wut

natexehasstopworking- Peter told me

tonyisabigmood- I don't want to talk bout it

capsicle- we want to help you but you need to tell us what happened

tonyisabigmood- I sneaked back into my house to get some other tools and stuff but then my dad found out

tonyisabigmood- Jarvis tried to delay him but still failed so I need to get my ass outta there before he come in because you gonna go to claim my corpse

fuckybarnes- damn...

tonyisabigmood- idk if my stuff are still alive tho

natexehasstopworking- u need to call the cops

capsicle- yeah u need to do something bout it

tonyisabigmood- you think others gonna believe that

tonyisabigmood- also you all know how good my family lawyers are at their job

natexehasstopworking- so where are you staying for the next 1 and a half years

tonyisabigmood- probably you guys places until I move in with Stephen

fuckybarnes- you can stay at mine for this month

arrowhead- Nat & I are always open

tonyisabigmood- thanks

tonyisabigmood- damn idk there's that many people care about me

birbboi- don't say that

aggressiveshrek- also don't stay at Thor's place

aggressiveshrek- Loki & Hela are trying to kill each other also Thor

beterbarker- Bruce where were you the whole time

aggressiveshrek- I was unconscious for hours

aggressiveshrek- thank you Loki

snekyboi- :)

aggressiveshrek- Tony are you okay tho

tonyisabigmood- mentally or physically

aggressiveshrek- both

tonyisabigmood- mentally not that good physically my legs kinda hurt

tonyisabigmood- first time jumping off 2 stories

fuckybarnes- g o t o h o s p i t a l

fuckybarnes- u r rich af just go

tonyisabigmood- I c a n t d r i v e r n

fuckybarnes- I'm driving u

fuckybarnes- Peter Tony is still with u right

beterbarker- yup

 

WelcomeJoinTheCult™

Saturday,3:30 AM

 

arrowhead- we need to do something

natexehasstopworking- we want to help but we should let Tony do the plan becuz we suck at that

birbboi- oof but tru

capsicle- I think he has everything plan out

fuckybarnes- ofc he's smarter than all of us

beterbarker- I don't think he knows what he's doing tho

natexehasstopworking- wut

beterbarker- now he just lay on the floor lifeless

beterbarker- mumbling some nonsense

arrowhead- I think he's broken

birbboi- he's always broken

capsicle- oof but tru

capsicle- Peter make sure he sleeps

natexehasstopworking- what he's doing now

beterbarker- laying on the ground and mumbling prime numbers

fuckybarnes- that's one of his coping mechanism

fuckybarnes- he needs some help

natexehasstopworking- he has the weirdest coping mechanisms tbh

natexehasstopworking- one of them is naming everything in the room

arrowhead- my mug's name is David

capsicle- one of them is sticking googly eyes on everything

natexehasstopworking- jokes aside is everything okay

beterbarker- he's staring at the wall

capsicle- KEEP UR GOOGLY EYES AWAY FROM HIM

 

SoulsAreSold™

Saturday,4:23 AM

 

natexehasstopworking- Tony what u doing

tonyisabigmood- I'm drinking coffee from Andrew

natexehasstopworking- god not again

aggressiveshrek- this is gonna sounds weird out of context

natexehasstopworking- well kinda

tonyisabigmood- Andrew has coffee stains everywhere

tonyisabigmood- I think Andrew is Peter's mug

 

 

Chapter Text

Wizardry For Dummies

Saturday,2:09 PM

 

(snekyboi added redmagic & noshitsherlock to the groupchat)

snekyboi- hey wanna summon Lucifer

redmagic- HELL YEAH

noshitsherlock- let's see how hawt Lucifer is

snekyboi- N I C E

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Saturday,2:21 PM

 

birbboi- Tony how it's like to stay at Bucky's place

tonyisabigmood- good but Steve & Bucky can be loud af

natexehasstopworking- pics?

tonyisabigmood- no :(

natexehasstopworking- petition to make Stucky fuck

arrowhead- signed

tonyisabigmood- signed

yeetorbeyeeten- my fangirl sense is tingling

yeetorbeyeeten- Tony are they fucking rn

tonyisabigmood- I assume

arrowhead- things are getting steamy( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

natexehasstopworking- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

beterbarker- who's topping tho

tonyisabigmood- ofc Steve

natexehasstopworking- Tony is Steve a nice top

tonyisabigmood- not really

natexehasstopworking- wait so u guys fucked before

arrowhead- y r u bottom tho

tonyisabigmood- idek

 

Meme Palace

Saturday,3:12 PM

 

yeetorbeyeeten- T IS FOR TGAY

beterbarker- LET MEH SERVE YA BOBS WITH CHEEZ

beterbarker- IM FROM CHINA

yeetorbeyeeten- BITCH CHINA

 

Untitled groupchat

Saturday,4:24 PM

 

(capsicle added natexehasstopworking to the groupchat)

capsicle- Nat I think Tony is trying to kill Bucky

capsicle- SNED HLEP

natexehasstopworking- wtf

capsicle- they r fighting over the last Sprite Cranberry while I try to find some popsicles

natexehasstopworking- just a normal day with Tony & Bucky

natexehasstopworking- wait so capsicle is eating popsicle?!

capsicle- yeah

natexehasstopworking- CANNIBALISM

 

Wizardry For Dummies

Saturday,4:30 PM

 

redmagic- now we need a sacrificial lamb

snekyboi- I have one named Thor is it okay

noshitsherlock- hmm pretty nice name

snekyboi- thanks :D

noshitsherlock- is it actually okay to sacrifice ur brother tho

redmagic- I think it's okay to sacrifice him

snekyboi- yeah I agree

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Saturday,4:54 PM

 

tonyisabigmood- bUcKy i tHoUghT wE aRE FrIenDS

fuckybarnes- YOU ALMOST BREAK MY ARM

tonyisabigmood- JUST GIVE UP ON THE SPRITE CRANBERRY AND NONE OF THIS WILL HAPPEN

fuckybarnes- iT'S mINe jUst bUy IT urSeLf

tonyisabigmood- BITCH I CAN'T EVEN WALK NORMALLY

theslutumetattarget- *gets popcorn*

tonyisabigmood- FUCK OFF WADE

fuckybarnes- YEAH FUCK OF-

fuckybarnes- wait why are you here tho

tonyisabigmood- I don't remember adding u back

theslutumetattarget- just some simple magic

beterbarker- can I get a waffle

yeetorbeyeeten- can I plz get a waffle

 

---

 

Saturday,5:32 PM

 

natexehasstopworking- Buck is Steve actually eating popsicle rn

fuckybarnes- yeah

fuckybarnes- cannibalism

theslutumetattarget- some nice cannibalism

natexehasstopworking- wade?

theslutumetattarget- no mr wilson

natexehasstopworking- y r u here tho

theslutumetattarget- to watch everyone suffers

beterbarker- that's so Wade Karen !play Crab Rave

Karen(bot)- [now playing Crab Rave Earrape Ver]

 

---

 

Saturday,5:41 PM

 

redmagic- Karen commit yeetus that fetus

yeetorbeyeeten- Pietro is playing Fortnite

arrowhead- DON'T SAY THE CURSED WORD

Karen(bot)- the word "Fortnite" is banned by Tony

Karen(bot)- @redmagic first warning,two warning left

redmagic- @tonyisabigmood UR AI

tonyisabigmood- wut she's always here

redmagic- but why Karen but not FRIDAY tho

tonyisabigmood- becuz she threaten me

tonyisabigmood- she'll take Peter away from me if I use FRIDAY instead

arrowhead- OOF

 

Wizardry For Dummies

Sunday,2:23 AM

 

snekyboi- WHERE'S THOR

snekyboi- HE ESCAPED

noshitsherlock- DAMMIT

redmagic- don't worry we can use Pietro

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Sunday,3:17 AM

 

(snekyboi added noshitsherlock to the groupchat)

snekyboi- I thought Lucifer will be hotter

noshitsherlock- but apparently I'm still the hottest in the universe

tonyisabigmood- of course you are

snekyboi- no shit Stephen

birbboi- u guys summoned Lucifer?

redmagic- yup

redmagic- that was fun

noshitsherlock- becuz we almost SUMMON HELA FOR NO REASON

snekyboi- IT SAYS SACRIFICE A LAMB NOT A FUCKING HUMAN

redmagic- BITCH U LET THOR ESCAPED

noshitsherlock- that's so sad Karen play YMCA

Karen(bot)- now playing YMCA 1 hour loop

 

Chapter Text

Big Gay Energy

Monday,5:55 PM

 

beterbarker- we need to agree Stucky is the best ship

birbboi- STUCKY

tonyisabigmood- I like IronStrange better

beterbarker- Tony u can't just ship urself with someone

natexehasstopworking- one more fucking time and u gonna regret it

tonyisabigmood- what u gonna do spank me?

natexehasstopworking- that's Stephen's job

birbboi- btw someone add Stephen

(tonyisabigmood added noshitsherlock to the groupchat)

noshitsherlock- u gotta admit IronStrange is the best

fuckybarnes- THORBRUCE

tonyisabigmood- ThorBruce is good but me & Stephen is way much hotter

thortilla- SPIDEYPOOL

theslutumetattarget- yeah Spideypool is the best

(natexehasstopworking sent STUCKY IS BETTER.jpg to the groupchat)

natexehasstopworking- STUCKY IS THE BEST

birbboi- (actually I ship ThorBruce harder than Stucky

tonyisabigmood- IRONSTRANGE

tonyisabigmood- Steve draw some ironstrange ik u can draw

capsicle- working on it

noshitsherlock- G R E A T

thortilla- spideypool is the best

 

---

 

Monday,7:26 PM

 

(capsicle sent IronStrange.jpg to the groupchat)

capsicle- done

capsicle- @tonyisabigmood are u happy now

noshitsherlock- hey I'm the top

noshitsherlock- Tony is always the bottom

beterbarker- :0

beterbarker- btw Shuri is writing ThorBruce fanfics rn

beterbarker- her fics are so good

natexehasstopworking- I never know Shuri is one of us

birbboi- Stucky is doing something rn I can sense it

tonyisabigmood- they r fucking while I try to eat a fucking sandwich

beterbarker- mood

birbboi- ThorBruce update?

snekyboi- They are just cuddling while Hela is destroying everyting

tonyisabigmood- okay then

 

---

 

Monday,9:37 PM

 

capsicle- when is Spideypool a thing tho

tonyisabigmood- it's been like 3 weeks ago...

tonyisabigmood- u were there...

tonyisabigmood- Bucky get ur boyfriend check

natexehasstopworking- Steve u have a problem

 

---

 

Monday,10:07 PM

 

natexehasstopworking- anyone remember stony

birbboi- y we shipped it tho

thortilla- it was the only ship we have back then

thortilla- and then now IronStrange,Stucky,Spideypool,ThorBruce...

natexehasstopworking- just realized Tony x Bucky has the best ship name

capsicle- what

natexehasstopworking- Starbucks

beterbarker- :0

theslutumetattarget- Starbucks is the best ship /s

birbboi- I only ship Starbucks becuz of the name

beterbarker- STARBUCKS

tonyisabigmood- STARBUCKS

 

---

 

Monday,10:54 PM

 

natexehasstopworking- I'm both sad & horny rn

birbboi- Wanda is out of town?

natexehasstopworking- :(

beterbarker- :(

aggressiveshrek- hah sucks to suck

natexehasstopworking- I don't know you can type while sucking Thor's dick

beterbarker- Destruction 100

birbboi- wow Nat is typing normally

tonyisabigmood- today's big gay energy tho

Chapter Text

WelcomeJoinTheCult™

Tuesday,12:36 AM

 

natexehasstopworking- I hate science

natexehasstopworking- can I blow up the lab?

natexehasstopworking- askin for a friend

beterbarker- sorry but the answer is no

natexehasstopworking- :(

natexehasstopworking- I wanna fucking kill myself

beterbarker- NO NAT NO

natexehasstopworking- YES NAT YES

arrowhead- hey I'm going to Target u guys need anything

natexehasstopworking- get me a reason to stay alive

beterbarker- cheetos

yeetorbeyeeten- cheetos

natexehasstopworking- cheetos

arrowhead- cheetos that is

 

SoulsAreSold™

Tuesday,3:07 AM

 

beterbarker- anyone wants to talk about Jesus

tonyisabigmood- no thanks we don't need another deep discussion about Bucky rn

tonyisabigmood- and also go to sleep

natexehasstopworking- yeah go to sleeb son

natexehasstopworking- btw Tony help

tonyisabigmood- wut Nat

natexehasstopworking- tell Bruce,Shuri & Peter don't go to lab tomorrow

tonyisabigmood- what are u & Legolas up to

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Tuesday,5:21AM

 

tonyisabigmood- everyone Nat & Katniss are gonna blow up the whole school today

tonyisabigmood- prepare ur popcorn or whiskey or whatever

capsicle- wtf Nat Clint

redmagic- can I join

snekyboi- I volunteer to die

tonyisabigmood- not now reindeer games

capsicle- Nat u can't just blow stuff up everytime u r horny & sad

natexehasstopworking- y e s i c a n

natexehasstopworking- Hello Wanda btw

redmagic- hewwo

natexehasstopworking- okay now I'm only horny

arrowhead- Nat not now

arrowhead- can u stop being horny for just one second

natexehasstopworking- make me

arrowhead- okay goodbye Wanda

(arrowhead removed redmagic from the groupchat)

natexehasstopworking- fine now I'm sad

(arrowhead added redmagic to the groupchat)

 

WelcomeJoinTheCult™

Tuesday,7:29 AM

 

natexehasstopworking- Clint help me in Science test

arrowhead- sorry can't help

arrowhead- I'm also dying

natexehasstopworking- Steeeeeeeeeeb

capsicle- okay I think I can help

natexehasstopworking- thanks Steve u r the best

birbboi- I have Spanish quiz :(

natexehasstopworking- just ask Thor for answers we're bad at everything

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Tuesday,12:40 PM

 

aggressiveshrek- NAT WTF

natexehasstopworking- WUT IT'S NOT ME

aggressiveshrek- TONY

redmagic- actually that's me

tonyisabigmood- wrow

natexehasstopworking- y tho

redmagic- I'm bored (゚3゚)~♪

arrowhead- great job Wanda here's a cookie *hands Wanda a cookie*

redmagic- thanks for that cookie *munch*

capsicle- should I actually care about the lab

tonyisabigmood- umm NOPE

 

WelcomeJoinTheCult™

Tuesday,1:10 PM

 

redmagic- Welp that was fun

fuckybarnes- Wanda are u sure u r not in trouble

redmagic- just use a little bit of magic

capsicle- I STAN OUR BABY

natexehasstopworking- *WE

Chapter Text

Untitled Chatroom

Friday,11:31 PM

 

(beterbarker added tonyisabigmood to the groupchat)

(beterbarker change the groupchat's name to Irondad)

beterbarker- CANWEGOTOAZOO

tonyisabigmood- y u r in school everyday u've seen enough animals

beterbarker- plz ( ˘•ω•˘ )

beterbarker- plz dad

tonyisabigmood- fine

tonyisabigmood- the squad is also going

beterbarker- yay (≧∀≦)

 

ProtectOurBabiesAtAllCost

Friday,11:36 PM

 

(tonyisabigmood sent screenshot2.jpg to the groupchat)

natexehasstopworking- r we going

tonyisabigmood- yup ur cult & prob Thor & Bruce

arrowhead- are Wanda & Shuri joining tho

tonyisabigmood- probably

thortilla- i'm joining

birbboi- y Peter choose a zoo tho we can literally go to anywhere we want

arrowhead- it's been at least 10 years since I'm in a zoo

tonyisabigmood- yeah u sneaked out from the bird section

arrowhead- hey

 

WelcomeJoinTheCult™

Friday,11:53 PM

 

fuckybarnes- how to make Tony eat

fuckybarnes- wait this isn't Google

fuckybarnes- HLEP

natexehasstopworking- I never saw "Tony" & "eat" in the same sentence

beterbarker- wait he's starving?!

fuckybarnes- it's been 3 days since he eat

capsicle- He has his own messed up eating schedule

capsicle- If I'm right he's gonna start eating all ur popsicles after 2 hours

fuckybarnes- should I be worried

capsicle- umm not really

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Saturday,2:38 AM

 

natexehasstopworking- tony y r u eating popsicles

tonyisabigmood- becuz I want to

beterbarker- reading ThorBruce fanfics at 3 am is now my aesthetic

natexehasstopworking- welcome to the club

capsicle- I still can't believe I'm drawing IronStrange the whole day

natexehasstopworking- Steeb is our club leader

tonyisabigmood- hey I started IronStrange

natexehasstopworking- IronStrange fan club

natexehasstopworking- members: Tony Stark,Stephen Strange

aggressiveshrek- welp accurate

 

The Sluttiest Sluts

Saturday,4:47 AM

 

(noshitsherlock added tonyisabigmood,arrowhead,snekyboi & theslutumetattarget)

snekyboi- wha

noshitsherlock- deep down we'all know we're the sluts

tonyisabigmood- ^^

arrowhead- y I end up being here

(tonyisabigmood sent screenshot3.jpg to the groupchat)

arrowhead- oh yeah that happened

snekyboi- is it weird that I wanna get raw fucked

theslutumetattarget- hello bottom number 1

tonyisabigmood- now I'm horny af

noshitsherlock- not now my slut

arrowhead- stop now I'm horny & sad 

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Saturday,10:03 AM

 

birbboi- Whos picking up Pete

fuckybarnes- me & Tony

natexehasstopworking- Wanda is with us yay

tonyisabigmood- plz don't fuck in the bathroom stall

natexehasstopworking- that's for u

arrowhead- Dear horny sluts, plz don't fuck in the bathroom stall. Sincerely EVERYONE

noshitsherlock- no promise

 

Irondad

Saturday,11:09 AM

 

beterbarker- AAHH I'M SO HYPED

beterbarker- not related but can I ride a giraffe

tonyisabigmood- not related but go ahead

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Saturday,11:25 AM

 

tonyisabigmood- where the fuck is Steeb

natexehasstopworking- idfk

thortilla- Steve is gone

noshitsherlock- Karen play Crab Rave EARRAPE

Karen- [now playing Crab Rave Earrape 1 hour loop]

tonyisabigmood- babe y u do that to us

arrowhead- lmao sucks to suck

snekyboi- stfu deaf mortal

beterbarker- oof

tonyisabigmood- idk if we should scream & panic or throw a fucking party

snekyboi- depends on how big the party is

 

WelcomeJoinTheCult™

Saturday,11:48 AM

 

natexehasstopworking- @capsicle

natexehasstopworking- r u there yet

capsicle- sorry just got stuck in the fridge

arrowhead- WTF steve

capsicle- story for another day

arrowhead- bit ch u r late

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Saturday,12:08 PM

 

birbboi- where's peter & shuri

natexehasstopworking- looking at spiders

capsicle- THOR PUT THE SNAKES BACK

thortilla- they r not sneks they are Loki

natexehasstopworking- wtf Thor they r just normal snakes

thortilla- LOKI

noshitsherlock- Bucky y r u looking at a rock

fuckybarnes- the rock is more interesting

(arrowhead sent animal_face1.jpg to the groupchat)

arrowhead- look I'm the ostrich

natexehasstopworking- kinda looks like Bucky

redmagic- AAAHHHHH

redmagic- THE GIRAFFE IS EATING MY HAIR SNED HLEP

natexehasstopworking- WTF

redmagic- THROW SOME FOOD AT IT

natexehasstopworking- IM THROWING

natexehasstopworking- finally

beterbarker- Nat u almost kill a giraffe

natexehasstopworking- ALMOST

noshitsherlock- BRUCE WTF IS HAPPENING

aggressiveshrek- TONY U CANT FEED THEM TATER TOTS

tonyisabigmood- YES I CAN

aggressiveshrek- THIS IS ANIMAL ABUSE

capsicle- mah tater tots :(

beterbarker- lmao oof

beterbarker- now I want a box of spiders

beterbarker- those babies are majestic

yeetorbeyeeten- EVERYONE WE NEED TO GO I STOLE A HUGE ASS LIZARD

 

Chapter Text

Odinsons

Sunday,6:22 PM

 

snekyboi- meet my new pets

thortilla- BROTHER WTF

(thortilla sent snek1.jpg to the groupchat)

snekyboi- I'm naming that one Tony becuz THAT SON OF A BITCH BIT ME & I CAN'T DISOWN IT

imhelapissed- wow mood

imhelapissed- that's what we thought right after we adopted u

snekyboi- I'm sending my army to ur room

 

---

 

Sunday,8:51 PM

 

thortilla- where's my bi pride flag

thortilla- HELA

imhelapissed- wut my lesbian pride flag is also gone

imhelapissed- *side eyes Loki loudly*

snekyboi- *SIDE EYES BRUCE EVEN LOUDER*

aggressiveshrek- wut I'm playing with an unknown snek

thortilla - LOKI

snekyboi- WHAT SPARKLE BOY

aggressiveshrek- I think I found the problem

(aggressiveshrek sent photo1.jpg to the groupchat)

thortilla- Bucky?

imhelapissed- isn't this Steeb's boyfriend

(thortilla added fuckybarnes to the groupchat)

thortilla- wtf Bucky

fuckybarnes- oops

thortilla- y r u here

fuckybarnes- Tony is terrifying

fuckybarnes- can I stay here I have poptarts,sneks & a lesbian flag I found

snekyboi- welcome to the madness mortal

 

---

 

Sunday,11:44 PM

 

fuckybarnes- WTF is happening 

aggressiveshrek- just Loki & Hela being siblings

aggressiveshrek- wanna be with me & Thor we're watching Mean Girls

snekyboi- PUT MY SNEKS DOWN YOU SON OF A BITCH

imhelapissed- SHUT UP THEY'RE DELICIOUS

snekyboi- U FUCKING MONSTER

fuckybarnes- fuck these shit I'm out

thortilla- HELA FUCK UR UGLY ASS DOG

imhelapissed- TRY ME BITCH

thortilla- MY BI PRIDE FLAG

snekyboi- HELA WE'RE NOT DONE YET

imhelapissed- STFU OR I'M EATING THE EGGS

fuckybarnes- can I get a waffle

fuckybarnes- can I plz get a waffle

 

---

 

Monday,1:26 AM

 

imhelapissed- WHAT HAVE U DONE TO FENRIS

snekyboi- U R KILLING MY CHILDREN

imhelapissed- hey they're delicious

snekyboi- u twisted monster

imhelapissed- thanks :)

fuckybarnes- HELA U FUCKING MONSTER

fuckybarnes- STOP KILLING THOSE INNOCENT CREATURES

thortilla- not to interrupt but they're poisonous

snekyboi- shut up sparkle boy

thortilla- FUCK THAT GRAND MASTER GUY

snekyboi- well technically you're the one get fucked

imhelapissed- tf Loki

snekyboi- based on real life experience

fuckybarnes- Loki wtf

aggressiveshrek- JESUS CHRIST

imhelapissed- wow Skaar sure is terrifying

snekyboi- wait

snekyboi- HELA DON'T CHANGE THE TOPIC WE'RE NOT DONE YET

imhelapissed- FAK

fuckybarnes- YEAH HELA COME BACK HERE

aggressiveshrek- welp

aggressiveshrek- Thor u still wanna cuddle

thortilla- okay

 

---

 

Monday,8:05 AM

 

thortilla- plz don't burn down the house when we're at school

snekyboi- after school?

thortilla- hmm nope

imhelapissed- :(

fuckybarnes- eat one more snek & u r ded

imhelapissed- wOW iM sCArEd

aggressiveshrek- I'm going to Target with Tones after school

fuckybarnes- I wanna join

aggressiveshrek- but I'm with Tony

fuckybarnes- I WANNA JOIN

aggressiveshrek- this house sure is a fucking nightmare

Chapter Text

Irondad

Monday,2:44 PM

 

tonyisabigmood- Me & Bruce are going to Target wanna come

beterbarker- hell yeah

beterbarker- wait y r u bring Bruce to Target tho

tonyisabigmood- becuz he still mad at me for only bringing The Cult to Target

beterbarker- okay I'm in

 

Science Bros

Monday,2:50 PM

 

tonyisabigmood- Brucey are u happy now

aggressiveshrek- Kinda becuz I can finally escape from hell

aggressiveshrek- they try to kill each other

beterbarker- btw I'm joining

tonyisabigmood- yeah Pete is joining too

aggressiveshrek- btw Bucky will probably join us

tonyisabigmood- what why

aggressiveshrek- same situation

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Monday,2:01 PM

 

tonyisabigmood- Bucky you wanna stay in hell or come with me

fuckybarnes- I'm with Nat & Clint

tonyisabigmood- okay then

birbboi- btw we're watching a weird ass movie Birdbox

yeetorbeyeeten- oh that movie

birbboi- Shuri u watched it

yeetorbeyeeten- nope but the memes are everywhere

tonyisabigmood- hey let's do the birdbox challenge Pete I'm driving u to Target

beterbarker- TONY NOT EVERYONE IS SUICIDAL

tonyisabigmood- :(

yeetorbeyeeten- are u guys still going to Target

yeetorbeyeeten- I need some cheerios & a reason to live

 

WelcomeJoinTheCult™

Monday,2:10 PM

 

natexehasstopworking- Clint we're running out of coffee

natexehasstopworking- I'm sad

capsicle- CLINT WE NEED COFFEE SAM IS DYING

fuckybarnes- plz give us coffee

fuckybarnes- I can see the light

natexehasstopworking- @arrowhead

arrowhead- what

natexehasstopworking- Target Time

arrowhead- no I'm broke

fuckybarnes- I'll pay for everything

arrowhead- why me tho

fuckybarnes- becuz my mom won't let me drive

arrowhead- okay fine

birbboi- yay

 

Irondad

Monday,2:13 PM

 

tonyisabigmood- plz don't be the cringy target guy™ again

beterbarker- no promise

tonyisabigmood- plz I don't want to see another cringy target guy vid on Twitter & Tumblr

beterbarker- wait I AM POPULAR?!

tonyisabigmood- no u r cringy

beterbarker- :(

 

Science Bros

Monday,2:20 PM

 

aggressiveshrek- TARGET TARGET TARGET TARGET TARGET

beterbarker- TARGET TARGET TARGET TARGET TARGET

yeetorbeyeeten- CHEERIOS CHEERIOS CHEERIOS CHEERIOS CHEERIOS

tonyisabigmood- okay okay

tonyisabigmood- Pete where are you

beterbarker- Shuri's place

yeetorbeyeeten- btw we stole T'Chalas crocs

tonyisabigmood- that was wild

beterbarker- I think T'Chala is a cat

(beterbarker sent cUCumBEr.mp4 to the groupchat)

yeetorbeyeeten- my cucumber :(

aggressiveshrek- rip random cucumber

tonyisabigmood- I still love how T'Chala just yeeted the cucumber

 

WelcomeJoinTheCult™

Monday,2:21 PM

 

natexehasstopworking- Target

birbboi- Target

capsicle- TARGET TIME

fuckybarnes- TARGET

arrowhead- A TRIP TO TARGET

redmagic- HELL YEAH

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Monday,2:32 PM

 

(tonyisabigmood changed the username to tonyistherealmood)

(tonyistherealmood sent WHATKINDOFFUCKERYISHAPPENINGRN.jpg to the groupchat)

tonyistherealmood- why we all choose to go to Target on the same day,at the same time

snekyboi- hey we're running low on poptarts,mac n cheese,alcohol & waffles

imhelapissed- BECUZ THOR IS BEING A DUMBASS

thortilla- mac n cheese & alcohol is you Hela

birbboi- we ran out of coffee

tonyistherealmood- bUcKY u cHOoSe THeM InStEad OF Me

fuckybarnes- U R A DISASTER

aggressiveshrek- can we talk about how Thor is eating poptarts in the background

beterbarker- ofc you're looking at Thor

tonyistherealmood- LOKI HELA WTF

imhelapissed- calm ur tits

imhelapissed- it's just some fire

tonyistherealmood- YOU SET A FUCKING MICROWAVE ON FIRE

aggressiveshrek- LOKI IS POURING BEER ON THAT FUCKING MICROWAVE

natexehasstopworking- nah everything is good

natexehasstopworking- BUCKY SAM BUMPER CARS

birbboi- HELL YEAH

fuckybarnes- CLINT FASTER

beterbarker- hell yeah

thortilla- Shuri u here?

yeetorbeyeeten- yup

aggressiveshrek- why I choose to come here today

beterbarker- sucks to suck

beterbarker- NAT IM JOINING

tonyistherealmood- can we just get what we want & then get the hell out of this hellland

aggressiveshrek- fuck everything

aggressiveshrek- Tony drive me home

tonyistherealmood- @beterbarker We're leaving

beterbarker- NO

beterbarker- IM WITH SHURI

tonyistherealmood- okay don't get drunk

beterbarker- that's u okay

tonyistherealmood- I wanna kashoot myself

Chapter Text

Big Gay Energy

Wednesday,7:03 PM

 

natexehasstopworking- EVERYONE STUCKY CODE BLUE

arrowhead- WHAT HAPPENED

natexehasstopworking- IDK MAN BUCKY JUST KICKED STEVE OUT FROM HIS ROOM

beterbarker- Nat stalker mode

natexehasstopworking- Clint go into the vent

beterbarker- we need to know what happened

thortilla- what kind of fuckery is happening rn

(tonyistherealmood sent nobuckyno.mp4 to the groupchat)

tonyistherealmood- in case you're curious

beterbarker- wow

aggressiveshrek- shits going down

noshitsherlock- welp sucks to suck Steeb

tonyistherealmood- and also IronStrange is now cannon

beterbarker- what

arrowhead- it's only been a month

theslutumetattarget- btw we're getting married

noshitsherlock- hey don't steal our line

redmagic- why is everything happening at the same time

tonyistherealmood- becuz we have big gay

natexehasstopworking- back to Stucky anyone knows why

tonyistherealmood- Bucky needs to bail Steeb out last night but who knows

arrowhead- Steeb got drunk last night

arrowhead- and probably made out with someone

arrowhead- or worst ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

thortilla- fun fact:Steve punched someone in the face -Loki

natexehasstopworking- why Loki knows everything

thortilla- I'm everywhere -Loki

noshitsherlock- sounds creepy but okay

tonyistherealmood- now Bucky is sitting in a corner eating plums

aggressiveshrek- where's Steeb

beterbarker- I think he's gonna go to Nat & Clint's place

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Wednesday,7:33 PM

 

arrowhead- WTF TONY IS YOUNGER THAN US

beterbarker- FOR REAL?

arrowhead- HE'S ONLY 15

natexehasstopworking- how can you not know

arrowhead- welp I thought he's just short

noshitsherlock- even I know

arrowhead- well I DON'T STALK SOMEONE BEFORE DATING HIM

yeetorbeyeeten- tbh I think Tony is younger than that

aggressiveshrek- nope he's just short

tonyistherealmood- yeah I'm 15 deal with it

beterbarker- now I feel really dumb

tonyistherealmood- no Clint is dumber

thortilla- plz stop reminding us that Stark is the smartest living being

tonyistherealmood- hey I'm telling the truth

noshitsherlock- heck even I feel dumb

tonyistherealmood- no babe you're the best

birbboi- now I'm blind

birbboi- the big gay energy is glowing so strong

 

Untitled groupchat

Wednesday,8,03 PM

 

(natexehasstopworking changed the name of the groupchat to Petition to make Stucky great again)

(natexehasstopworking added beterbarker,arrowhead,birbboi,aggressiveshrek,thortilla,yeetorbeyeeten,redmagic,noshitsherlock,tonyistherealmood to the groupchat)

(natexehasstopworking sent nobuckyno.mp4 to the groupchat)

natexehasstopworking- we need to get them back together

birbboi- my favorite ship :(

aggressiveshrek- I think it's not a good idea to ask us for relationship tips

tonyistherealmood- hey I'm good at these

natexehasstopworking- did you forget what happened last time

tonyistherealmood- you got me there

thortilla- don't look at me

yeetorbeyeeten- I have no ideas

beterbarker- I thought you write fanfics

yeetorbeyeeten- Welp fanfics are fanfics

redmagic- we don't even know what happened

natexehasstopworking- Welp apparently Steeb got drunk last night for no reason,punched a guy & made out with a random dude

tonyistherealmood- & Bucky just found out the guy is his ex

arrowhead- we think the guy is trying to sabotage their relationship

aggressiveshrek- how did you guys figure it out

natexehasstopworking- Tony hacked into the bar cameras

noshitsherlock- Tony can you stop making me feel dumb

tonyistherealmood- no until you treat me like you little slut

noshitsherlock- oh you horny little slut you can't even keep your mind straight for a second

aggressiveshrek- Tony,Stephen not now

tonyistherealmood- wdym this is the perfect time

arrowhead- STUCKY JUST CRASHED INTO A FUCKING WALL

beterbarker- what kind of wall

arrowhead- concrete wall ig

redmagic- so what should we do

beterbarker- find tis guy & yeet him out of existence

yeetorbeyeeten- ^^^

birbboi- that's socially unacceptable tho

beterbarker- :(((

 

Untitled groupchat

Wednesday,9:30 PM

 

(natexehasstopworking added fuckybarnes to the groupchat)

natexehasstopworking- Bucky you alright

fuckybarnes- I'm planning on killing Loki why

natexehasstopworking- nothing just want to check on you

fuckybarnes- tell me the truth

natexehasstopworking- what happened to you & Steve

fuckybarnes- welp shits happened

natexehasstopworking- Buck plz tell us what happened

 

Untitled groupchat

Wednesday,10:24 PM

 

(tonyistherealmood added capsicle to the groupchat)

(tonyistherealmood sent wtfsteve.mp4 to the groupchat)

tonyistherealmood- explain

capsicle- how did you get that footage

tonyistherealmood- because I'm smart now answer my question

capsicle- ...

tonyistherealmood- who's that guy

capsicle- Bucky's ex

capsicle- he an ass he dumped Bucky right before he moved to here

tonyistherealmood- & he's sabotaging your relationship

capsicle- how do you know

tonyistherealmood- Steeb not everyone is dumber than Clint

capsicle- last night I was pretty drunk so he approached me,forcefully made out with me & let his friends record it

capsicle- so I punched that guy & someone called the cop

capsicle- they sent the video & a message to Bucky

capsicle- Bucky had to bail me out

capsicle- he thought I betrayed him

capsicle- that's all

Chapter Text

Petition to make Stucky great again

Wednesday,10:34 PM

 

(tonyistherealmood sent screenshot3.jpg to the groupchat)

tonyistherealmood- that's all I got from Steve

natexehasstopworking- and we got nothing from Buck

tonyistherealmood- wow verry productive

arrowhead- shut up

tonyistherealmood- what I'm telling the truth

beterberker- can I use that guy as knife holder

thortilla- NO

natexehasstopworking- NO PETER NO

tonyistherealmood- it's socially unacceptable to kill someone even thought it's a great idea & I wanna do that

snekyboi- Parker you get a pass

beterbarker- :)

noshitsherlock- I'll help you to plan the murder

aggresiveshrek- can I help

birbboi- I volunteer to choose the murder weapon

natexehasstopworking- you know what I'M JOINING

tonyistherealmood- I lowkeyly wanna join

beterbarker- JOIN US

 

---

 

Wednesday,11:02 PM

 

beterbarker- WADE HOW TO HIDE A BODY

theslutumetattarget- just eat it u pussy

tonyistherealmood- ^^

arrowhead- wait is wade always here or I'm hallucinating again

tonyistheralmood- Katniss stop doing cocaine

arrowhead- hah jokes on you I'm too broke for cocaine

beterbarker- oof Karen play YMCA

karen- [Now playing YMCA]

tonyistherealmood- I think both of us are hallucinating

beterbarker- Tony when is the last time you sleep

tonyistherealmood- I don't remember anything

tonyistherealmood- who are you again

beterbarker- :screamingcat:

beterbarker- wait this is not discord

beterbarker- tbh what is this

arrowhead- idk one day Tony just got bored & make this a thing

arrowhead- I still don't know why is everyone using this

tonyistherealmood- me neither

 

WelcomeJoinTheCult™

Thursday,12:08 AM

 

natexehasstopworking- Bucky you still alive

fuckybarnes- yeah is Steeb dead yet

beterbarker- probably

natexehasstopworking- where's Steeb tbh

arrowhead- idk on a street

fuckybarnes- I kinda hate him but still Steeb plz don't die

 

Petition to make Stucky great again

Thursday,12:13 AM

 

natexehasstopworking- WHERE TF IS STEEB

tonyistherealmood- one of my safe houses

natexehasstopworking- thank god

natexehasstopworking- wait why you have safe houses

tonyistherealmood- because 1)I'm rich 2)I hate my dad

natexehasstopworking- then y are you staying at Bucky's place

tonyistherealmood- so I can annoy the shit out of him

natexehasstopworking- understandable

natexehasstopworking- should I tell Bucky

tonyistherealmood- no dumbass

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Thursday,1:31 AM

 

katniss- WTF IS WITH MY NAME

katniss- I DIDNT CHANGE IT

natexehasstopworking- lmao

katniss- SNED HLEP

tonyistherealmood- no

katniss- STARK I STG

tonyistherealmood- calm your tits Legolas

tonyistherealmood- I'll change it

dumbasssince1993- WTF STARK

tonyistherealmood- what that's your name

dumbasssince1993- I WILL SKIN YOU

 

Petition to make Stucky great again

Thursday,1:41 AM

 

dumbasssince1993- who tf is that guy tho

birbboi- idk ask Loki?

dumbasssince1993- no

thortilla- idk either -Loki

birbboi- I thought you know everything

thortilla- I know where he lives tho -Loki

natexehasstopworking- how

beterbarker- where's my weapon

natexehasstopworking- I'm bringing my knife collection

tonyistherealmood- tbh what's the plan

beterbarker- we don't have a plan

tonyistherealmood- wt

dumbasssince1993- we don't have a plan because we know we suck at it

natexehasstopworking- tbh our plan is actually waiting for your plan

tonyistherealmood- why me tho

tonyistherealmood- I'm bad at these

tonyistherealmood- I got dumped for at least 10 times

natexehasstopworking- welp how bout Stephen

tonyistherealmood- welp I don't know

beterbarker- WAIT I JUST REALIZED CLINT'S NAME(wait that's Clint right)

dumbasssince1993- yeah we know it stop

tonyistherealmood- N O

dumbasssince1993- I still hate you

noshitsherlock- so can we just skip to the murder part

tonyistherealmood- tf 

tonyistherealmood- NO STEPHEN NO

noshitsherlock- YES STEPHEN YES

 

Big Gay Energy

Thursday,2:54 AM

 

tonyistherealmood- tbh which is better

tonyistherealmood- Stucky or IronStrange

natexehasstopworking- Stucky

dumbasssince1993- Stucky obviously

beterbarker- ThorBruce

thortilla- Spideypool

capsicle- welp Stucky

tonyistherealmood- :scree:

noshitsherlock- IronStrange

tonyistherealmood- Stephen I'm sad

noshitsherlock- welp I'm horny

tonyistherealmood- now I'm both

tonyistherealmood- daddy plz

dumbasssince1993- this is why we hate IronStrange

noshitsherlock- H E Y

 

Petition to make Stucky great again

Thursday,3:14 AM

 

(thortilla added snekyboi to the groupchat)

snekyboi- Stark let me stay at your safe house please

tonyistherealmood- hmm nope

snekyboi- plz

tonyistherealmood- you're gonna fill it up with sneks

snekyboi- OKAY FINE I SET HELA'S LESBIAN PRIDE FLAG ON FIRE

tonyistherealmood- hah NOPE

snekyboi- AAAAAAAAAHHHH

 

Chapter Text

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Saturday,11:38 AM

 

tonyistherealmood- hey bitches

tonyistherealmood- wanna play some shit I'm bored

natexehasstopworking- idk truth or dare

tonyistherealmood- that's for little kids

natexehasstopworking- no I mean a murderous one

theslutumetattarget- or a kinky one

tonyistherealmood- both

tonyistherealmood- so who wanna join

noshitsherlock- me I guess

dumbasssince1993- me but only if you will change my name back

tonyistherealmood- fine

dumbasssince1993- change it

tonyistherealmood- later

dumbasssince1993- CHANGE IT

tonyistherealmood- LATER

beterbarker- I'm joining

redmagic- I wanna see how horny is everyone

yeetorbeyeeten- ^^

tonyistherealmood- Welp I'm a 11/10

noshitsherlock- I thought you're 69/10

tonyistherealmood- not until I get the d

beterbarker- WTF DAD STOP

tonyistherealmood- lmao no

tonyistherealmood- wait did you just call me dad

beterbarker- what no I didn't

dumbasssince1993- yes you did

beterbarker- that's a typo

tonyistherealmood- Pete do you see me as a father figure

beterbarker- NO THAT'S A TYPO

tonyistherealmood- you named our chat Irondad

beterbarker- fine

beterbarker- plz don't tell anyone

(yeetorbeyeeten sent screenshot.jpg to the groupchat)

yeetorbeyeeten- oops too late

beterbarker- >:((

natexehasstopworking- I just left for a minute wtf

yeetorbeyeeten- PETER CALLED TONY DAD

natexehasstopworking- yeah that

natexehasstopworking- we know

tonyistherealmood- Nat truth or dare

natexehasstopworking- truth

tonyistherealmood- pussy

tonyistherealmood- what's the weirdest home decoration you can find

natexehasstopworking- Clint bought like 20 shrek action figures last week does that count

beterbarker- ALL HAIL OUR LORD AND SAVIOR SHREK

tonyistherealmood- that's not weird that's majestic

natexehasstopworking- FUCK I JUST STEPPED ON ONE

natexehasstopworking- anyway

natexehasstopworking- Peter truth or dare

beterbarker- dare

natexehasstopworking- put weed in school's vent

natexehasstopworking- I want to see Coulson high on marijuana

beterbarker- Tony gimme your nice ass weed

tomyistherealmood- don't look at me look at Legolas

dumbasssince1993- what I'm too broke for weed

dumbasssince1993- I can't even afford mac n cheese

natexehasstopworking- speaking of mac n cheese @birbboi

birbboi- what now

natexehasstopworking- BRING ME SOME CHIPS

birbboi- GET IT URSELF

natexehasstopworking- YOU ATE MY CHEERIOS

birbboi- FUCK YOU BITCH

dumbasssince1993- WHO TF BOUGHT TOMATO FLAVOURED CHIPS I SAID I WANT VINEGAR & SALT

redmagic- STFU I WANT HAPINESS BUT WHAT I GOT IS ESPRESSO & DEPRESSO

tonyistherealmood- mood

beterbarker- Tony truth or dare

tonyistherealmood- DARE

tonyistherealmood- I AIN'T NO PUSSY

beterbarker- flirt with Fury for no reason in front of everyone

tonyistherealmood- sounds fun

tonyistherealmood- build a status for me if I die

natexehasstopworking- I lowkeyly want you to get in trouble

dumbasssince1993- LOWKEYLY

tonyistherealmood- dumbass truth or dare

dumbasssince1993- STOP CALLING ME DUMBASS

dumbasssince 1993- truth

tonyistherealmood- pussy when is the last time you get laid

natexehasstopworking- Ill answer that for him last year

birbboi- oh that incident

beterbarker- what incident

birbboi- Clint got high af in a party & a guy fucked him in a treehouse,the guy's mom found them the next morning,cum still in Clint's ass

birbboi- I was stucked on a tree & I saw everything

beterbarker- that was wild

birbboi- also Clint has daddy kink

natexehasstopworking- WTF CLINT

tonyistherealmood- I regret asking this

dumbasssince1993- SAM FUCK YOU

birbboi- I'M STILL TRAUMATIZED

tonyistherealmood- Legolas get me my therapist

dumbasssince1993- wait you have a therapist

tonyistherealmood- well yes but actually no

dumbasssince1993- Nat truth or dare

natexehasstopworking- truth

dumbasssince1993- the weirdest conversation you had

natexehasstopworking- me & Sam,discussing how the world is just a simulation

dumbasssince1993- when tho

natexehasstopworking- last week,while we're making a monstrosity on Sims 4

dumbasssince1993- just name it Tony Stark

tonyistherealmood- you wanna fucking die or what

idioticbitch- STARK WTF AGAIN

tonyistherealmood- welp that's your middle name

idioticbitch- can we kill Tony

noshitsherlock- sir that's my emotional support asshole

tonyistherealmood- Aww thanks

noshitsherlock- ONLY I CAN KILL HIM

tonyistherealmood- I take that back

natexehasstopworking- top 10 anime betrayal

natexehasstopworking- Peter truth or dare

beterbarker- DARE

beterbarker- AUNT MAY AIN'T RAISING NO BITCH

natexehasstopworking- Kill Loki's sneks & blame it on Thor

beterbarker- Nat you're trying to kill me?

beterbarker- ACTUALLY FUCK IT BUILD ME A FUCKING STATUE IF I DIE

redmagic- ^^^

tonyistherealmood- Nat stop killing my son

redmagic- btw can I add Pietro he's annoying af rn

tonyistherealmood- whatever I don't care anymore

natexehasstopworking- mood

(redmagic add imfastasfakboi to the groupchat)

imfastasfakboi- yo gays

tonyistherealmood- yo bottom

tonyistherealmood- welcome to hell

natexehasstopworking- now prepare to die from stupidity

redmagic- or gayness

tonyistherealmood- or alcoholism

idioticbitch- or drug overdose

imfastasfakboi- sounds hellish I'M IN

beterbarker- Bootleg Sanic truth or dare

imfastasfakboi- Truth

imfastasfakboi- tbh how can I be a bootleg if Sanic is already bootleg

tonyistherealmood- there's a thing call bootleg bootleg

beterbarker- so what's your weirdest nickname

imfastasfakboi- Bootleg Sanic

beterbarker- aside from that

imfastasfakboi- someone called me pieboy before throwing a pie at me after I dabbed in a party

beterbarker- you deserved that

tonyistherealmood- if I'm there,your arms are gone

natexehasstopworking- if I'm there you're already dead

imfastasfakboi- Nat truth or dare

natexehasstopworking- truth

imfastasfakboi- What's your spirit animal

natexehasstopworking- disco straggler

imfastasfakboi- why tho

natexehasstopworking- cuz if you ask me one more fucking question I'll strangle you with this yoyo I found in Clint's closet

imfastasfakboi- why are you in his closet

natexehasstopworking- CUZ I NEED TO GET HIM OUT FROM HIS CLOSET

tonyistherealmood- Legolas is the gayest bitch here

noshitsherlock- I thought it's you

tonyistherealmood- no he's a gay af whore & I'm only gay for you

capsicle- then explain why Stony was a thing

aggressiveshrek- also Science Bros

beterbarker- Damn Tony is such a whore

idioticbitch- WHY I REMEMBER READING ME X TONY FIC

natexehasstopworking- okay I'm traumatized

natexehasstopworking- CLINT CALL MY THERAPIST

tonyistherealmood- speaking of therapist WHERE'S MINE

idioticbitch- I'M TOO BROKE FOR THERAPISTS

natexehasstopworking- Steeb truth or dare

capsicle- truth

natexehasstopworking- what's the kinkiest Stucky moment

capsicle- umm

tonyistherealmood- EVERYONE STEEB IS A KINKY FUCK

tonyistherealmood- HE'S INTO SOME WEIRD STUFF

tonyistherealmood- once he told me to step on him with the high heels he stole from his mom

natexehasstopworking- WTF

natexehasstopworking- I NEED BLEACH

idioticbitch- NO KINKY ON MAIN THX

tonyistherealmood- I'm always kinky af

beterbarker- :scree:

tonyistherealmood- ((alsosteebboughtlingeriesforbucky

beterbarker- :scree:

capsicle- TONY STOP SPYING ON US

tonyistherealmood- what you gonna do spank me?

birbboi- that's kinky

natexehasstopworking- Stephen's gonna do it anyway

yeetorbeyeeten- Tony stop telling us your kinks we already knew them

noshitsherlock- you sure

noshitsherlock- his kink list is longer than his life span

redmagic- wtf

capsicle- let's move on to the next question

capsicle- Tony truth or dare

tonyistherealmood- DARE

capsicle- WEAR A FUCKING TUTU & HIGH HEELS TO SCHOOL

tonyistherealmood- FUCK YOU STEEB

capsicle- THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR EXPOSING MY KINKS

noshitsherlock- I lowkeyly want you to wear a tutu

tonyistherealmood- Stephen why

natexehasstopworking- tbh where are you gonna get a tutu tho

redmagic- I'M GONNA BE THE ONE TO PICK THE TUTU

aggressiveshrek- Nat don't you have a tutu

aggressiveshrek- from your previous school

natexehasstopworking- oh yeah

natexehasstopworking- I BURNT IT

idioticbitch- actually the tutu is still there

idioticbitch- I stole that

yeetorbeyeeten- wh

idioticbitch- NAT IT'S A DARE I'M NOT A CREEP

natexehasstopworking- ofc you're too gay for this

tonyistherealmood- why I feel like he actually wears it as a daily basis

yeetorbeyeeten- tbh everyone here is too gay to function

birbboi- all of us are either a mood or gay af

tonyistherealmood- I'm both

tonyistherealmood- wait

tonyistherealmood- where tf is Bucky?

 

Chapter Text

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Saturday,12:10 PM

 

natexehasstopworking- yeah where tf is he

idioticbitch- he's eating plums in a corner ig

birbboi- Tony go to check on him

tonyistherealmood- I can't rn I'm enjoying my life

natexehasstopworking- who tf get drunk at 12 pm

tonyistherealmood- me & wade

theslutumetattarget- yo bitches

beterbarker- TONY YOU'RE ONLY 15

tonyistherealmood- age is just a number

yeetorbeyeeten- how tf did you get in

theslutumetattarget- fake id

beterbarker- :scree:

tonyistherealmood- wait is Steeb still alive

capsicle- I'm dead inside but still

tonyistherealmood- then GO TO FIND BUCKY & TELL HIM THE TRUTH

capsicle- I DON'T KNOW HOW

idioticbitch- also how are we supposed to find Bucky

tonyistherealmood- track his phone dumbass

birbboi- BITCH WE'RE RETARDED

natexehasstopworking- wtf Richard

tonyistherealmood- Pete Shuri you're the the only sane ones go to track his phone or something

yeetorbeyeeten- bold of you to assume I'm sane but okay

theslutumetattarget- Stove just tell Bucky everything

theslutumetattarget- but don't take my advice tho you'll probably end up killing each other

theslutumetattarget- idk how long relationship works

tonyistherealmood- bitch you're dating my son

theslutumetattarget- I'm still a fucking mess

redmagic- should we care about Stucky

tonyistherealmood- umm not really

beterbarker- dad ffs sned hlep

tonyistherealmood- what am I supposed to do?drag Steeb to Bucky's place then lock them together?

natexehasstopworking- actually that a good idea

capsicle- no it's not

natexehasstopworking- yes it is

capsicle- it won't work

natexehasstopworking- do you want your boyfriend back

capsicle- yeah ofc

natexehasstopworking- THEN DO IT

idioticbitch- drunk Tony has the best ideas

tonyistherealmood- finally some nice shit from Legolas

idioticbitch- I want my name back

tonyistherealmood- fine

tonyistherealmood- are you happy now

arrowhead- I'm still depressed but yeah

tonyistherealmood- Steeb grab your gayness we're going on a quest

capsicle- what is that supposed to mean

tonyistherealmood- I'm gonna get Stucky back

natexehasstopworking- u are finally doing something nice

tonyistherealmood- you just dislocated someone's arm just because he said Stucky is not that good

natexehasstopworking- he deserves that

yeetorbeyeeten- whoever says Stucky is not that good can suck my ass

beterbarker- mood

theslutumetattarget- hey Stove don't die

capsicle- no promise

noshitsherlock- get in losers,we're getting Stucky back

yeetorbeyeeten- YEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

Big Gay Energy

Saturday,2:20 PM

 

redmagic- hey wanna meet the lesbian god I found

thortilla- no I'm the real god of lesbian

redmagic- I can sense her lesbian power

tonyistherealmood- c'mon we all can sense each other's gayness

natexehasstopworking- okay so where's our lesbian

redmagic- wait lemme

(redmagic added letsgolesbian to the groupchat)

letsgolesbian- hey humans

letsgolesbian- I'm Carol goddess of lesbian

tonyistherealmood- THIS IS A REAL LESBIAN GOD I CAN FEEL THE GAYNESS

natexehasstopworking- THE REAL LESBIAN

thortilla- MY GAYDAR IS OFF THE CHART

letsgolesbian- soooooo hi?

tonyistherealmood- yeah welcome to hell I run this place & everything here is nightmare

imhelapissed- hey this is my hellhole

tonyistherealmood- stfu Hela go back into your own hellhole

tonyistherealmood- ik you sense big gay energy 

imhelapissed- stfu or I'll kill you over & over again

tonyistherealmood- hah jokes on you I'm already dead

letsgolesbian- wait is this normal

letsgolesbian- I assume it is

redmagic- yup welcome to hell

natexehasstopworking- I think we should introduce everyone to you

letsgolesbian- yup

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Saturday,2:26 PM

 

(redmagic added letsgolesbian to the groupchat)

redmagic- hey this is Carol

letsgolesbian- hey gays

arrowhead- hey this is Clint the god of stupidity

natexehasstopworking- I'm Nat I broke someone's arm just becuz they said Stucky is not that good

natexehasstopworking- btw Stucky is the ship name of Steve & Bucky

noshitsherlock- this is Stephen if you touch Tony I'll probably rip your arm off

letsgolesbian- woah calm down gay

tonyistherealmood- Tony I'm always high on gayness

theslutumetattarget- I'm Wade & Tony's drunk

redmagic- yeah we can see that dumbass

birbboi- I'm just your typical birb idiot Sam

snekyboi- I'm Loki God of mischief

tonyistherealmood- more like god of sneks

letsgolesbian- this gc makes no sense I LOVE IT

redmagic- @imfastasfakboi this is bootleg Sanic my idiotic brother

beterbarker- I'm Peter & I'm everyone's son

yeetorbeyeeten- I'm Shuri I yeet

aggressiveshrek- I'm Bruce I hate life

thortilla- I'm Thot the ex god to lesbian

letsgolesbian- I love this hellhole btw I'm Carol goddess of lesbian

 

Untitled groupchat

Saturday,2:54 PM

 

(tonyistherealmood added fuckybarnes into the groupchat)

tonyistherealmood- hey you good

fuckybarnes- nope I run out of plums

tonyistherealmood- where tf are you tho

fuckybarnes- I'm trying to find Steve

fuckybarnes- is Steve still alive

tonyistherealmood- your husband is still alive becuz of me

fuckybarnes- thanks

tonyistherealmood- are you sure you good

fuckybarnes- yeah I'm good

tonyistherealmood- they're trying to track your phone but idc

tonyistherealmood- ffs just listen to Steeb

tonyistherealmood- I want Stucky to be official

 

 

Chapter Text

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Sunday,8:52 PM

 

imhelapissed- hey @capsicle is Stucky wedding still gonna be a thing

capsicle- I wish

capsicle- @tonyistherealmood hey you found my boyfriend?

tonyistherealmood- stop whining or say bye to your boyfriend

capsicle- :scree:

thortilla- actually I found Bucky

capsicle- TELL ME WHERE IS HE

thortilla- Loki turned him into a snek

tonyistherealmood- welp it's good to know Bucky is still alive

fuckybarnes- no I'm dead inside

snekyboi- no one ask for your opinion

snekyboi- Steeb don't bother to beg for Bucky

 

The Sluttiest Sluts

Sunday,10:50 PM

 

tonyistherealmood- hey wanna get high on stupidity

theslutumetattarget- I'm already doing that

arrowhead- mood

noshitsherlock- not related but I wanna die

tonyistherealmood- not related but mood

snekyboi- not related but can I kill everyone

noshitsherlock- go ahead

arrowhead- Tony I want cocaine

tonyistherealood- lmoa no

theslutumetattarget- I want a reason to live

noshitsherlock- Peter

theslutumetattarget- oh yeah

tonyistherealmood- I need either anti depressant or dick

arrowhead- we know

arrowhead- that's why we're here

 

Petition to make Stucky great again

Sunday,11:31 PM

 

yeetorbeyeeten- hey Tony what's our plan

tonyistherealmood- pretend nothing happened & slowly die from depression

aggressiveshrek- Tones not your life long plan

aggressiveshrek- we already know that

natexehasstopworking- our plan is lock them up in a closet & wait for the result

birbboi- & the result is either Stucky wedding or a casual battle to the death

beterbarker- sounds good

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Sunday,11:48 PM

 

beterbarker- Tony where's my weed

natexehasstopworking- oh yeah the dare

natexehasstopworking- @tonyistherealmood REMEMBER TO WEAR YOU TUTU & HIGH HEELS

tonyistherealmood- FUCK YOU STEEB

snekyboi- that's Bucky's job

snekyboi- also I lowkeyly want to see you in a tutu

imhelapissed- don't we all

thortilla- "lowkeyly"

thortilla- I'm smart enough to not play truth or dare with you gays

arrowhead- cuz the last time you swapped body with Tony

thortilla- Tony is smol af

tonyistherealmood- [angry noise]

redmagic- wait what

arrowhead- story for another day

snekyboi- & last time THOT ATE ALL MY PANCAKES

imhelapissed- Oof sucks to suck

beterbarker- WHERE'S MY WEED

imhelapissed- dammit I wanna get high on weed for free

arrowhead- same

tonyistherealmood- FINE

letsgolesbian- what kind of fuckery is this

snekyboi- fuckery

fuckybarnes- WHAT'S UP FUCKERS

yeetorbeyeeten- WHY ARE YOU ON MY PHONE

fuckybarnes- FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY

birbboi- welcome back to hell

imfastasfakboi- why am I still here

fuckybarnes- cuz you have no life

thortilla- why is this so true

aggressiveshrek- welcome to our emo band bootleg sanic

aggressiveshrek- now you need to sell your soul to Satan

imfastasfakboi- I can't find mine

snekyboi- Oof same

imhelapissed- cuz I ate it

aggressiveshrek- no I stole it

natexehasstopworking- just admit we all have no life

birbboi- what is the meaning of life

Karen- 42

beterbarker- wait 420 equals to 42 times 10

beterbarker- & I lost my faith in humanity 10 years ago

beterbarker- :hMm:

capsicle- Pete you're high

beterbarker- oR Am i

yeetorbeyeeten- [VSauce intensifies]

snekyboi- I wanna kermit suit inside

birbboi- mood

letsgolesbian- GAYS I FOUND TWO(2) MORE LESBIAN GODS

(letsgolesbian added americant & noidontneedsalt)

noidontneedsalt- sup gays

noidontneedsalt- meet my new babe

americant- hey gays I'm gay

tonyistherealmood- good for you Pep

capsicle- hi gay I thought you're British

natexehasstopworking- Tony Steeb care to explain

tonyistherealmood- explanation: big lesbian energies

tonyistherealmood- that's all

noidontneedsalt- oh yeah

noidontneedsalt- I'm Pepper & this is my gay, Peggy

americant- call me gay

yeetorbeyeeten- quick question is anyone here straight

aggressiveshrek- *slowly raises hand*

thortilla- *pulls your hand down*

yeetorbeyeeten- good

imhelapissed- hello gays welcome to hell

snekyboi- now prepare to die from

birbboi- stupidity

natexehasstopworking- & gayness

tonyistherealmood- & alcoholism

arrowhead- & drug overdose

noidontneedsalt- sounds gay I'm in

americant- wait how hellish is this hellhole

noshitsherlock- even Lucifer is scared of us

americant- this is what I call a hellhole I'M IN

Chapter Text

WelcomeJoinTheCult™

Monday,3:24 AM

 

(fuckybarnes changed the name of the groupchat to "Le Cult")

fuckybarnes- I want oreos

birbboi- I want ice cream

beterbarker- I want death

natexehasstopworking- Pete I will call your dad

beterbarker- he said he also wants death

birbboi- like father like son

fuckybarnes- whoever buys me oreos & I'll invite them to Stucky wedding

beterbarker- wait so Stucky wedding is still a thing

fuckybarnes- lmao no

natexehasstopworking- :(((

beterbarker- WHY

birbboi- no thanks I don't want angsty in front of my salad

fuckybarnes- I still want my oreos

 

Odinsons

Monday, 3:46 AM

 

aggressiveshrek- WHO TF IS PLAYING NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP EARRAPE AT 3 AM

thortilla- *whispers* probably Hela

aggressiveshrek- @imhelapissed WTF STOP

imhelapissed- WHAT IT'S NOT ME

aggressiveshrek- THEN WHO TF IS THAT

imhelapissed- *side eyes Thot loudly*

thortilla- WHY ME THO

snekyboi- wait how do you side eye someone loudly tho

imhelapissed- shut up or I'll side eye you louder

snekyboi- fuck these fuckery

(snekyboi removed himself from the groupchat)

thortilla- FINALLY THAT GUY STOPS

 

---

Monday, 4:02 AM

 

thortilla- plot twist: IT WAS ME

thortilla- @everyone Y'ALL GOT RICKROLLED

aggressiveshrek- dude why

imhelapissed- I'll fucking kill you

(thortilla added snekyboi to the groupchat)

snekyboi- fuck you

(snekyboi removed himself from the groupchat)

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Monday, 4:20 AM

(tonyistherealmood added noidontneedsalt & americant to the groupchat)

tonyistherealmood- 420 lmao blaze it

noidontneedsalt- TONY GO TF TO SLEEB

tonyistherealmood- yOu'RE Not mY mOM

noidontneedsalt- I'll take Stephen away

tonyistherealmood- FINE I'LL SLEEB

noidontneedsalt- FUCKING FINALLY

capsicle- LANGUAGE

birbboi- Steeb you just called someone "dildo head motherfucker" cuz they beat you in Smash

tonyistherealmood- that's a mood

redmagic- EVERYONE PLZ KASHOOT ME

capsicle- mood

redmagic- BOOTLEG SANIC IS PLAYING F*RTNITE

birbboi- WE WILL DIE FOR THAT

noidontneedsalt- MURDER TIME

capsicle- STEEBS ABOUT TO STAB

redmagic- EVERYONE I KILLED HIM

noidontneedsalt- GOOD

 

---

 

Monday,7:40 AM

 

thortilla- WHO TF PUT SHAVING CREAM IN MY LOCKER

thortilla- I WILL YEET THAT BITCH OUT OF EXISTENCE

yeetorbeyeeten- chillax Thot

snekyboi- Idek what kind of fuckery is this

letsgolesbian- me neither

natexehasstopworking- EVERYONE TONY HAS ARRIVED

(natexehasstopworking sent THOTASSTONY.jpg to the groupchat)

tonyistherealmood- FUCK YOU RATASHA

arrowhead- Tony you look like a crazy druggie having an identity crisis

tonyistherealmood- cuz I am

tonyistherealmood- SHIT SOMEONE ALMOST RUN OVER ME

natexehasstopworking- I just heard that guy yelled "DUMBASS YOU ALMOST HIT A LESBIAN" at another guy

redmagic- proof that public school is a disaster

beterbarker- if you think that's crazy I walked into everyone trying to put a bucket of semen onto the door

tonyistherealmood- thank god today is April fools so no one thinks I'm insane

noshitsherlock- but you are

noidontneedsalt- should I play Pizza Time in the middle of the class

noidontneedsalt- I have a presentation later

americant- DO IT

capsicle- DO IT

natexehasstopworking- FUCK YEAH

letsgolesbian- my whole class plan to ditch algebra together

tonyistherealmood- sounds fun want some drug?

beterbarker- EVERYONE PREPARE TO BE HIGH

birbboi- HELL YEAH

arrowhead- WHERE TF IS COULSON

arrowhead- I NEED TO WATCH HIM BEING HIGH

yeetorbeyeeten- already set a hidden camera in his office

beterbarker- GOOD

tonyistherealmood- dammit my class is boring they're doing some lame shit

tonyistherealmood- we're gonna wear a Dora The Explorer mask when the teacher turns around & scare the shit out of her

tonyistherealmood- the mask is so bootleg that it looks scary af

noshitsherlock- you gays are fucking devils & I LOVE IT

Chapter Text

Le Cult

Monday, 8:09 AM

 

capsicle- WHERE TF IS CLINT

birbboi- we flex taped him onto a chair

capsicle- ...

capsicle- why

fuckybarnes- oops he's dead

birbboi- rip the less awesome birb

arrowhead- tF dID yOu SAid TO Me YoU lITtlE SHIt

natexehasstopworking- plot twist: actually Wanda died

beterbarker- AAAAAAAAAHHHH

capsicle- tbh what happened

fuckybarnes- nothing just everyone high af

 

Meme Palace

Monday, 8:20 AM

 

(beterbarker sent REEEEEEE.jpg to the groupchat)

yeetorbeyeeten- meme material

thortilla- Tony = meme material

snekyboi- **high af Tony = meme material

tonyistherealmood- bitches I'm right here

beterbarker- Tony you gotta admit that you're a meme

tonyistherealmood- yOu'RE gRoUNDed

beterbarker- oh c'mon

tonyistherealmood- how can a fucking human being wear high heels for more than 5 fucking minutes

redmagic- magic

noshitsherlock- you're just weak

snekyboi- am I the only one that think Stephen actually wearing high heels rn

tonyistherealmood- welp yes in my fantasy no rn

beterbarker- Tony your kink is showing

thortilla- another normal day then

snekyboi- Tony = kinky fuck

tonyistherealmood- agree

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Monday, 9:30 AM

 

americant- Tony radiates chaotic gay energy

noidontneedsalt- for me it's chaotic idiot energy

noshitsherlock- he's both

tonyistherealmood- agree

noidontneedsalt- tbh that tutu looks good

redmagic- ofc I chose it

tonyistherealmood- I will kill the guy that chose my high heels

americant- you're just weak

noidontneedsalt- agree

 

Odinsons

Monday, 9:44 AM

 

imhelapissed- Loki sned hlep

snekyboi- lmao no

imhelapissed- fuck you

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Monday, 9:56 AM

 

arrowhead- Coulson high on weed is the best

arrowhead- I just saw him running around screaming "BALD EAGLES AREN'T BALD"

arrowhead- & Fury is confused

natexehasstopworking- well at least he's tell the truth

capsicle- DAMMIT now I have an urge to draw a bald bald eagle

 

Meme Palace

Monday, 10:57 AM

 

aggressiveshrek- everyone gangsta until we pull out our demonic Dora the explorer masks

tonyistherealmood- plz don't tell me that's your idea

aggressiveshrek- too late

thortilla- Bruce babe why...

aggressiveshrek- cuz I'm aggressive Shrek

tonyistherealmood- Brucey you're a monster :((

aggressiveshrek- ofc I am

natexehasstopworking- :((

 

Chapter Text

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Monday, 10:31 AM

 

letsgolesbian- tf is happening rn

noidontneedsalt- TONY WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

tonyistherealmood- what that's not me

tonyistherealmood- why you always assume it's me when shits go down

noshitsherlock- cuz u r a chaotic idiot

capsicle- agree

aggressiveshrek- agree

natexehasstopworking- agree

arrowhead- agree

tonyistherealmood- COME ON

beterbarker- should I care about high af Coulson

birbboi- ofc not this is public school everyone is high everyday

redmagic- okay then but should I care about the lockdown

fuckybarnes- it's better than the last time

beterbarker- tf happened

fuckybarnes- Tony Bruce & Loki wrote a death threat when they're drunk & put it on Fury's desk

snekyboi- that was wild

aggressiveshrek- & somehow Nat is one of the suspects

natexehasstopworking- I heard them giggling in the vent during the interrogation

tonyistherealmood- wait didn't we blame it on someone that I can't remember

fuckybarnes- bitch you can't even remember that you wrote the fucking death threat

snekyboi- wait I thought Bruce wrote it

tonyistherealmood- wait isn't Stephen with us

noshitsherlock- you don't even know I exist yet

yeetorbeyeeten- okay it's confusing change the topic

natexehasstopworking- k

arrowhead- EVERYONE SNED HLEP I THINK FURY THINKS THAT I PUT WEED INTO THE VENT

birbboi- oof gl

thortilla- how can you be the suspect but not Stark

tonyistherealmood- cuz I'm not high I'm only having an existential crisis

capsicle- mood

arrowhead- bITCHES SAVE ME

capsicle- FINE

capsicle- Loki do something

snekyboi- lmao no I'm the god of mischief not the god of helping some pathetic mortals

arrowhead- I'll buy you some sneks

snekyboi- deal

arrowhead- I SAID HELP ME NOT SEND ME TO NOWHERE

snekyboi- hah

arrowhead- FUCK YOU

arrowhead- SNED HLEP

noshitsherlock- lmao no

arrowhead- fine I'll do it myself

fuckybarnes- high af Coulson is now a mood

aggressiveshrek- agree

letsgolesbian- wtf

imhelapissed- fuckery

arrowhead- WANDA SNED HLEP

redmagic- just learn magic yourself

arrowhead- instructions unclear now I'm joining a cult

letsgolesbian- how can you gays be so calm in a lockdown

thortilla- first we're not pussies second we've seen worst

aggressiveshrek- third cuz we're mentally ill

tonyistherealmood- that's you not us

noidontneedsalt- said by someone with 22 undiagnosed mental disorders

tonyistherealmood- ouch

tonyistherealmood- but first of all it's 23

natexehasstopworking- can't relate I only have 7

capsicle- suckers I have 0

fuckybarnes- cuz all of them are diagnosed

beterbarker- hey give your husband some respects

redmagic- why tf is Clint covered in string cheese

arrowhead- that's part of the ritual

americant- how tf can you type while covered with string cheese

noshitsherlock- it's easier than whipped cream

birbboi- how did you find out bout that tho

birbboi- actually I don't wanna know the answer is probably cursed

noshitsherlock- oops too late

noshitsherlock- Tony & I used it as lube before & Bruce texted me so yeah

tonyistherealmood- wait so that's why you're gone for so long

noshitsherlock- it's only 30 seconds

imhelapissed- first of all that's both kinky & disgusting and second of all I need bleach

arrowhead- TONY STEPHEN FFS I DONT WANNA KNOW ABOUT YOU SEX LIFE

noshitsherlock- why not

beterbarker- I crave instant oof juice :)

natexehasstopworking- nO

tonyistherealmood- PETER NO

capsicle- peter...

thortilla- Peter don't be like Tony

beterbarker- like father like son

tonyistherealmood- aww but only I can joke about my own problems

thortilla- but yours are way more messed up that ours

tonyistherealmood- H E Y

letsgolesbian- actually lockdown is fun

snekyboi- PLOT TWIST: THE WHOLE LOCKDOWN IS A PRANK BUT COULSON IS REALLY HIGH AF

yeetorbeyeeten- bro that's like the lamest plot twist that can ever exists in the universe

snekyboi- normally I'll kill you if you said that to me but hey you're a treasure

yeetorbeyeeten- thanks?

thortilla- that's like the nicest thing my brother ever said to a living being

aggressiveshrek- LOKI YOU MADE THOR TEARS UP WTF

snekyboi- magic

Chapter Text

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Monday, 10:53 AM

 

aggressiveshrek- Sned hlep Thot is still crying

birbboi- THOT

aggressiveshrek- *Thor

aggressiveshrek- fuck autocorrect

redmagic- THOT

americant- THOT

imhelapissed- THOT

arrowhead- lmao 4:20 blaze it

beterbarker- Clint how high are you

tonyistherealmood- higher than my sanity ig

birbboi- not really high then

(tonyistherealmood sent >:((.png to the groupchat)

noidontneedsalt- Tones you gotta admit you're insane

snekyboi- agree

capsicle- agree

capsicle- btw is Bucky dead

imhelapissed- yeah he's ded

capsicle- where's his corpse

yeetorbeyeeten- Steve you can't just fuck a corpse

capsicle- WTF

natexehasstopworking- yeah Steeb you need to stop before they find out

tonyistherealmood- c'mon fucking a corpse is lame they won't even cum

arrowhead- not everyone is a bottom

snekyboi- I have a weird feeling that Tony will fuck himself with Stephen's dead body

noshitsherlock- & you will pretend to be a dead body & waiting for someone to fuck you

snekyboi- inaccurate

snekyboi- I will commit suicide for that I'm not a pussy

thortilla- Loki you need a therapist

fuckybarnes- don't we all

letsgolesbian- let's get a group therapist

tonyistherealmood- Carol we're high schoolers we're broke af

letsgolesbian- said by a billionaire's son

tonyistherealmood- welp the money isn't mine until I kill him

natexehasstopworking- you need a knife?

redmagic- I'll help you to hide the body

americant- I'll clean up the blood

noidontneedsalt- I'll try my best to not call the cops

imhelapissed- can I join

noidontneedsalt- no only I can destroy Tony's life

noshitsherlock- bitch how bout me

tonyistherealmood- how bout me

noidontneedsalt- Stephen no offense but your existence already ruined Tony's life & Tony when is the last time you sleep or eat anything

noshitsherlock- ouch but true

tonyistherealmood- in about 3 months

aggressiveshrek- BITCHES I WANNA DIE

aggressiveshrek- THOR CAN YOU STOP FOR 1 SECOND

thortilla- NO

aggressiveshrek- fine Nat knock him out

natexehasstopworking- k

capsicle- I miss my boyfriend

beterbarker- I miss my life w/o antidepressants

yeetorbeyeeten- I miss Vine

arrowhead- PETER NO

letsgolesbian- tbh this whole chat sounds like viners being high

aggressiveshrek- NAT I WAS JOKING

aggressiveshrek- GET MY HUSBAND BACK

natexehasstopworking- bitch I only know how to knock people out

imhelapissed- use reverse card

aggressiveshrek- instructions unclear Thor just used a +4 card

snekyboi- do you need me to kill him

aggressiveshrek- NO

aggressiveshrek- nvm I just added 2 more cards Loki go ahead

arrowhead- unrelated but can I kill Fury

fuckybarnes- go ahead

tonyistherealmood- unrelated but can I cut my legs off

redmagic- it's just high heels

tonyistherealmood- it's just my legs

fuckybarnes- Tony the legless guy

beterbarker- Tony the legless guy

birbboi- Tony Tony Tony Tony Tony Tony

yeetorbeyeeten- Tony the legless guy

tonyistherealmood- this sounds surprisingly good

fuckybarnes- ofc cuz we have talent unlike you

tonyistherealmood- & I have brain cells unlike you gays

tonyistherealmood- except Peter & Shuri ilyg no homo

beterbarker- but no homo is gay

 

Le Cult

Monday, 12:39 PM

 

beterbarker- SNED HLEP

beterbarker- anyone knows sign language

beterbarker- Clint sounds like he's deaf

birbboi- Peter what have you done

beterbarker- I yeeted Clint's airpods & now he acts like he's deaf

yeetorbeyeeten- wait isn't Clint too broke for airpods

redmagic- everyone here is too broke for airpods except Tony

birbboi- wait Peter

birbboi- THAT'S NOT AIRPODS

birbboi- THAT'S CLINT'S HEARING AID

beterbarker- should I panic

natexehasstopworking- I only left Clint for 3 seconds

natexehasstopworking- Tony's right you radiate chaotic energy

beterbarker- now what am I supposed to do 

birbboi- just wait for Nat to handle everyone

birbboi- story time there's one time that I accidentally throat punched Clint cuz I thought he's a guy named Quill & he ended up pointing every differences between him & Quill while he still can't talk

fuckybarnes- I was there & it was so fucking hilarious

redmagic- sounds fun

arrowhead- I may be deaf but I'm not blind

birbboi- we just assume that you're Jared

beterbarker- I'M SORRY CLINT

arrowhead- it's okay Tony tried to do that before

beterbarker- wow

 

Irondad

Monday, 12:43 PM

 

beterbarker- Tony sned hlep

tonyistherealmood- what happened do I need to get a gun I'm getting a gun

beterbarker- nO

beterbarker- I yeeted Clint's hearing aid

tonyistherealmood- I'm so proud of you

tonyistherealmood- I always wanna do it

beterbarker- I thought it's his airpods

tonyistherealmood- so...

beterbarker- now I feel guilty for it but I'm too broke for a hearing aid

tonyistherealmood- okay I got it

beterbarker- thanks dad

tonyistherealmood- but I still wanna yeet his hearing aid tho

Chapter Text

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Monday, 1:50 PM

 

imhelapissed- Guys we did it, Bucky is no more

capsicle- ...

capsicle- ...

capsicle- heheuwhchejsigeidueeifjruagyfudhhwlfjdudjwhshjdhwdijtlwgj

letsgolesbian- can someone explain

tonyistherealmood- turn to your left & you can see Steve "Sbeve" Rogers having a breakdown while flopping on the ground like a fish

natexehasstopworking- it's probably a stroke

natexehasstopworking- but who knows

arrowhead- I think it's a breakdown

redmagic- nah it's both

imhelapissed- the great gay™ was yeeted down to the pit of despair, even though this is so sad but he'll never come back

imhelapissed- that's so sad Alexa play YMCA bass boosted 10 hours loop

fuckybarnes- bitch try again

fuckybarnes- Sbeve stop having a breakdown

capsicle- NO

capsicle- my boyfriend is dead

americant- HAH SAM YOU OWE ME 3 BUCKS

birbboi- that doesn't count, Steeb was having a stroke

americant- 3 bucks

birbboi- no

americant- 3 bucks & 5 Shrek action figures that you stole from Clint & Bucky

birbboi- fine 3 bucks

fuckybarnes- wait WTF BITCH

arrowhead- I can't hear rn but I can still read

natexehasstopworking- sorry but we actually had your name legally change to Jared last summer

(tonyistherealmood changed arrowhead's nickname to jared,19)

jared,19- wait really

jared,19- I thought I was high on weed

natexehasstopworking- welp not completely wrong

birbboi- Jared Barton sounds weird tho

jared,19- I want my name bacc

aggressiveshrek- then learn how to read

birbboi- oof

americant- Sam where's my 3 bucks

letsgolesbian- tf is happening

americant- Sam bet that Steeb has braincells

tonyistherealmood- can't we just agree that we all share 1 braincell but Pepper has it most of the time

fuckybarnes- Tony admitting that he's dumb hmm that's rare

tonyistherealmood- fuck you

fuckybarnes- that's gay

tonyistherealmood- first of all everyone here is gay af & both of us are the gayest gays

fuckybarnes- inaccurate Thot is the gayest gay

thortilla- c'mon we all know that Nat & Wanda are the gayest gays

thortilla- they fucking radiate chaotic gay energy

redmagic- that's true

noidontneedsalt- wait we talked about this before, we don't even have one single braincell to share

noshitsherlock- agree

noshitsherlock- I miss having braincells

aggressiveshrek- same

capsicle- okay I'm back from dying

tonyistherealmood- good we killed your husband 3 seconds ago

capsicle- shryrwgdj3hfejfjdhrgithrjtuehryei3hruieh38494885h4jfue8queu2ir4hruj

capsicle- I crave instant oof

yeetorbeyeeten- same

redmagic- nO

fuckybarnes- someone plz stick me back into the freezer I don't want to deal with reality anymore

beterbarker- reality is often disappointing

snekyboi- tf happened again

fuckybarnes- a fucking raccoon stole my arm

snekyboi- sounds fun

 

Kick Names Take Ass

Monday, 2:14 PM

 

probablyaraccoon- now how should I sell this damn thing

granolabar- throw that shit onto ebay

iamgroot- I am Groot

granolabar- wait Rocket are you talking about cocaine or that guy's arm

probablyaraccoon- both

cringytargetguy- I want the cocaine & that arm you can just stick it into a vending machine someone will probably buy it

granola- ffs Quill stop stealing people's name

(cringytargetguy sent NO.jpg to the groupchat)

invisibleman- what the fuck is happening in this cursed land again

iamgroot- I am Groot

invisibleman- reasonable have a nice day

cringytargetguy- btw who the hell is the guy that's wearing tutu

cringytargetguy- he looks like he's having an identity crisis

granolabar- cuz he is?

probablyaraccoon- so you want me to steal his tutu or what?

cringytargetguy- wait wtf no

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Monday, 2:15 PM

 

tonyistherealmood- lmao sucks to suck

fuckybarnes- I crave death™

natexehasstopworking- tbh how can a raccoon stole your arm

birbboi- Natasha please remember we're in America

birbboi- anything can happen

tonyistherealmood- AAAAAAAAAAAAA

thortilla- what now Tony

tonyistherealmood- A FUCKING RACCOON IS CHASING ME

tonyistherealmood- IT HAS A GUN

jared,19- sounds like a normal day in America public school

imhelapissed- where are you

imhelapissed- I wanna watch

snekyboi- mood

fuckybarnes- lmao

tonyistherealmood- karma is the worst bitch

 

Chapter Text

Odinsons

Monday, 16:12 PM

 

imhelapissed- where tf is Loki

thortilla- trying to escape Ikea

imhelapissed- HEY LOKI GOOD LUCK

snekyboi- I DON'T NEED LUCK

 

---

 

Monday,17:05 PM

 

snekyboi- plz sned hlep

snekyboi- I just saw the same aisle for the 36th time

aggressiveshrek- sounds fun

snekyboi- I hate you

aggressiveshrek- thanks

imhelapissed- hey Thot so you want the sneks or the knives

thortilla- knives

snekyboi- are you gays destroying my properties

imhelapissed- first of all we're bis, not gays & second of all we're not destroying, we're just selling

aggressiveshrek- where's Tony

imhelapissed- the snek or the annoying mortal

aggressiveshrek- the snek

snekyboi- btw if you sell Mr Stabby I'll become Mr Stabby

thortilla- what's with the roomba tho

snekyboi- he'll stab you

thortilla- so it's just you but better then

aggressiveshrek- did you just assume a roomba's gender

snekyboi- yes?

imhelapissed- I wanna burn your golden statue

aggressiveshrek- go ahead

snekyboi- [activate Stabby mode]

snekyboi- :)

aggressiveshrek- hey gays I found Tony

thortilla- good you found it

tortilla- there's a mortal trying to buy it

aggressiveshrek- no not the snek

aggressiveshrek- I found Tony Stark

thortilla- ay same thing

(aggressiveshrek added tonyistherealmood to the groupchat)

tonyistherealmood- sup

imhelapissed- wanna explain

imhelapissed- that's not a question btw

tonyistherealmood- observing Gods

snekyboi- hi Tiny sned hlep

tonyistherealmood- how bout no

 

snekyboi- h̴̻̞͓̮̅̎͠ọ̷̠͆̉͘w̶͍̍͒̈́̇̐̌ ̵̧̪͚͈̥̤͚̟͓̉̒̊́͜b̶̧͚̼̙͕̞̯̭͋̊͌͐̈́͛̕͜o̸͚̪͗͒̽̀͠u̴̹̙̟̗͇͒̕t̶̡̢̫̦͚̟̰͊̓̈ ̶̡͔͚̘͎̺̪͈̪̺̈͐͗͑͑̄̚̚̚y̶̰̱̺͇̿͂̽̆̒͆̀͘e̵͚̟͚̹̭̙͖͙̤̍̆̆̑̈́͊̕s̸̨̭̳̜̖͉̪̦̙̙̆͗̆̚͝

 

tonyistherealmood- OKAY FINE

aggressiveshrek- I still want the sneks

thortilla- but they're venomous

aggressiveshrek- but they're cute

thortilla- wait where's Hela

imhelapissed- standing in fire with sneks tangled up in my hair

tonyistherealmood- sounds fun

imhelapissed- yeah & you'll like it :)

tonyistherealmood- I just want it for the aesthetic not death

aggressiveshrek- I thought you crave death

tonyistherealmood- yeah but not now

thortilla- tbh tho Tony sounds like a cringy 14 y/o Instagram obsessed girl

imhelapissed- cuz he probably is

snekyboi- can anyone sned hlep yet?

tonyistherealmood- just use a portal

snekyboi- that's not how Ikea works

aggressiveshrek- I think you need to pick a random furniture & start building it, when you finish building it, you'll need to fight the probably immortal guards to get out

thortilla- oddly specific but okay

imhelapissed- I'll recommend you to choose the 6ft shelf

snekyboi- why

imhelapissed- cuz I tried it before & it's impossible

snekyboi- challenge accepted

imhelapissed- okay we won't see him for another century again

tonyistherealmood- okay then

tonyistherealmood- so

tonyistherealmood- how to survive sneks

thortilla- you fool you don't survive them

thortilla- you worship them like God until they forgive you for entering their so-called palace

aggressiveshrek- I think Thor needs a therapy

imhelapissed- nah he's fine

imhelapissed- just turn him into a frog & everything will be good

Chapter Text

Wizardry For Dummies

Tuesday, 8:42 PM

 

(snekyboi changed the name of the groupchat to "Gay Wizards")

noshitsherlock- why

snekyboi- why not

redmagic- tbh tho is there anyone we know is actually straight

noshitsherlock- well fair enough

snekyboi- sned hlep

redmagic- Ikea?

snekyboi- Ikea

noshitsherlock- are you sure you're in Ikea & not a SCP

snekyboi- actually I rather be in a SCP than stuck in a Ikea

redmagic- in a SCP or SCP in you

redmagic- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

noshitsherlock- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

snekyboi- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Tuesday, 9:14 PM

 

tonyistherealmood- breaking news, I'm still fucking alive & I don't quite like it

noshitsherlock- one more suicidal joke & no dicks for you for a week

tonyistherealmood- okay fine

tonyistherealmood- breaking news, Loki is stuck in Ikea

snekyboi- no shit Tiny

tonyistherealmood- I'm changing my name back to Anthony

snekyboi- Anthiny

tonyistherealmood- Pep where's my big ass sword

noidontneedsalt- which one

noidontneedsalt- every sword is big af for you

tonyistherealmood- PEP NOT NOW

noshitsherlock- YES PEP YES

letsgolesbian- YES PEP YES

tonyistherealmood- NO PEP NO

noidontneedsalt- YES PEP YES

 

Le Cult

Wednesday, 7:42 AM

 

natexehasstopworking- what the hell are Sbeve & Sam doing again

fuckybarnes- sword duel

natexehasstopworking- with umbrellas?

fuckybarnes- with umbrellas

birbboi- we're too broke for swords

beterbarker- welp at least you're not using popsicles

capsicle- I'll add it to the list

yeetorbeyeeten- Imma contribute a sharpness 4 wooden sword

birbboi- I'd like a cursed emerald sword

natexehasstopworking- say no more fam

fuckybarnes- did you rob someone

natexehasstopworking- no

arrowhead- yes you had

natexehasstopworking- how did you know

arrowhead- cuz you robbed me

natexehasstopworking- you know I can't just go to rob the god of lesbians

birbboi- you r a lesbian tho

natexehasstopworking- I'm not chaoticly lesbian enough to fight him

redmagic- bitch how bout me

redmagic- I lowkeyly wanna fight Thor

beterbarker- *generic bruh face*

yeetorbeyeeten- Karen play bruh sound effect #2 earrape

Karen- BRUH

natexehasstopworking- top 10 sentence that you can hear

arrowhead- am I on LSD again or

fuckybarnes- both

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Wednesday, 9:45 AM

 

snekyboi- update gays

snekyboi- I found an Ikea guide on Tumblr, it says that I should just go to find the great beast of Ikea & fight it

thortilla- okay you're still alive & I don't quite like it

letsgolesbian- wait why are you on Tumblr

americant- welp he's a bi fashion diva so

snekyboi- finally someone that has common sense

americant- should I be happy

redmagic- yes you should

birbboi- a girl just walked pass me & we made 0.01 second of eye contact, LATER VIRGINS

americant- are you wearing a bald eagle costume again

birbboi- will you believe me if I say no

capsicle- HEY GAYS REMEMBER THAT TIME WHEN TONY WORE A TUTU

letsgolesbian- Sbeve you're drunk, go home

capsicle- HAH JOKES ON YOU I'M HOMELESS

(yeetorbeyeeten sent SbeveIn2025.png to the groupchat)

beterbarker- what if we clone Steve & make both of them homeless :hmm:

birbboi- :hmm:

americant- :hmm:

tonyistherealmood- what kind of fuckery is happening

letsgolesbian- Drunk Steve

tonyistherealmood- oh shit here we go again

fuckybarnes- Steve Istg I will fucking pretend to be dead again

capsicle- okay fine I'm back

aggressiveshrek- r/oddlyfamiliar

tonyistherealmood- dude how can this even work, this is like the third time you did this

fuckybarnes- just like how we defeated bitches with the power of friendship & this gun I found

natexehasstopworking- & infinite bullets

fuckybarnes- yeah and that

 

Gay Wizards

Wednesday, 4:47 PM

 

(snekyboi added antsinmypants to the groupchat)

antsinmypants- hello fellow mortals

redmagic- ah yes another mortal

redmagic- is he our sacrificial lamb

antsinmypants- maybe I am

snekyboi- not really

snekyboi- I found him in Ikea

antsinmypants- & his snek ate my ants

noshitsherlock- do we need a funeral

antsinmypants- yes

snekyboi- in Ikea?

antsinmypants- build a coffin for them & I won't kill your snek

redmagic- wait there's coffin in Ikea?

antsinmypants- if you're lucky enough you can find some skeleton

noshitsherlock- I'm putting Ikea on my list

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Wednesday, 4:50 PM

 

(snekyboi added antsinmypants to the groupchat)

tonyistherealmood- welcome to hell mortal

antsinmypants- I'm ready to suffer

tonyistherealmood- good

tonyistherealmood- btw we have a rule here, don't mention fortnite or creeper

tonyistherealmood- wait FUCK

beterbarker- AWW MAN

yeetorbeyeeten- SO WE'RE BACK

redmagic- IN THE MINES

natexehasstopworking- got our pickaxe

tonyistherealmood- Nat I will take away your privilege

natexehasstopworking- what's my privilege anyway

tonyistherealmood- you can poke me with a knife

natexehasstopworking- oh yeah that one

arrowhead- Tony stop ruining our epic gamer moment

arrowhead- Creeper

birbboi- aww man

tonyistherealmood- new guy don't you dare to join them

antsinmypants- SO WE'RE BACK IN THE MINES

snekyboi- ah yes our epic gamer moment is bacc

tonyistherealmood- so who's the new guy

antsinmypants- Scott the ant guy that got stuck in Ikea

snekyboi- & I owe him a funeral

ansinmypants- I LET YOU PLAYED WITH MY CARDS & YOU FUCKING KILLED MY ANTS

tonyistherealmood- ah shit here we go again

Chapter Text

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Friday, 2:43 AM

 

tonyistherealmood- hey Loki gimme your location

snekyboi- so you can mock me in person?

tonyistherealmood- that's next week's plan

tonyistherealmood- I just wanna go to IKEA at 3 am cuz I bought a Luigi board

snekyboi- *Ouija

antsinmypants- um I'm pretty sure it's Soulja board

natexehasstopworking- it's OWO board dumbass

snekyboi- please end my suffer

natexehasstopworking- lmao no

tonyistherealmood- hey Nat can I bring Clint as a sacrificial lamb?

snekyboi- you know that you don't need a sacrificial lamb for Ouija board right?

tonyistherealmood- ik but I just want to kill Clint in a ritual

arrowhead- first of all, ouch & second, that's so unoriginal

tonyistherealmood- shut up

arrowhead- make me

natexehasstopworking- that's gay

antsinmypants- no shit Sherlock

snekyboi- why are we even doing this

antsinmypants- cuz why not

tonyistherealmood- update: I sneaked into IKEA

arrowhead- update: I wanna die

natexehasstopworking- omg dying is so overrated, I prefer getting eaten alive by a cryptic

snekyboi- that's call a kink

arrowhead- & Wanda is the cryptic

redmagic- bold of you to assume I'm not a cryptic already

 

Le Cult

Friday, 4:27 AM

 

capsicle- beep boop you either gay or dead inside & that's a fact

birbboi- but I'm both

fuckybarnes- Steve you're high again

capsicle- nope you're just jealous that I have a boyfriend

fuckybarnes- bitch I'm your boyfriend

capsicle- hmm

natexehasstopworking- Steeb please sleep

beterbarker- he's right tho

birbboi- don't make me call your dad

beterbarker- hah jokes on you I'm an orphan

beterbarker- fuck I accidentally made myself cry

natexehasstopworking- Pete go to sleep

natexehasstopworking- but how can you forget the fact that Tony is your new dad

beterbarker- the power of magic

beterbarker- & caffeine

beterbarker- & sleep deprivation

fuckybarnes- wait I have a good idea

fuckybarnes- staying awake is hetero

birbboi- power move

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Friday, 7:41 AM

 

noidontneedsalt- Can I rickroll the whole school

noidontneedsalt- there's a minor inconvenient in my life

letsgolesbians- go ahead

beterbarker- can I blow up the lab too?

aggressiveshrek- PETER NO

natexehasstopworking- PETE NO

(beterbarker sent NO.jpg to the groupchat)

thortilla- k I'm back from dying what did I miss

noidontneedsalt- new mortal

antsinmypants- sup gamers

antsinmypants- I'm Scott & there 0 ants in my pants

aggressiveshrek- say no more

antsinmypants- Is this a warning or

aggressiveshrek- prophecy

antsinmypants- AAAAAAAAAHHHH

snekyboi- why is Bruce chaotic evil

aggressiveshrek- tormenting new mortal is fun

americant- hey anyone saw Coulson battling a snek in the cafeteria?

redmagic- who said bring a snek to school is fun?

thortilla- you?

redmagic- cmon it's not venomous

yeetorbeyeeten- ah yes the sweet relief of death

beterbarker- SHURI NO

aggressiveshrek- why are we like this

thortilla- cuz we're depressed

aggressiveshrek- welp you're not wrong

americant- why are Loki's sneks here

snekyboi- TIME TO BRING BACK THE HOLY LAND

redmagic- Loki that's not how highschool works

snekyboi- beat me to it

yeetorbeyeeten- TIME TO LET THE AMPHIBIANS TAKE OVER THE CAFETERIA

birbboi- wait isn't it the lizard you stole from the zoo

yeetorbeyeeten- nah this is the one I found in another zoo

Chapter Text


TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Monday,3:08 AM

 

tonyistherealmood- BITCHES I'M BACK

tonyistherealmood- I've emerge from T̵̫̻̳͔̄̓̔̍͒̓͟͟͢ḩ̛̺̪͈̱̤̠̉̃̏̄͜͜e̷͚͇͖̦͒̈́̅̇͊͜͢ V̙͚͓̯͆̐̒̈̾͟͞ơ̷̥͍͚̤̬̅̌̏̎͛͠͠i̧̙͖̙̩̰͙̘̍̉̋̐͋͂͠d̜͈̠͙͖̮̤̝̦̽͌͊͋̽͋͜™

arrowhead- yo wtf

tonyistherealmood- nothing I just don't feel special enough

snekyboi- will you feel special if I FUCKING STAB YOU

tonyistherealmood- first of all that's kinky

aggressiveshrek- Tony go to sleep ffs

tonyistherealmood- I NEED TO FEEL SPECIAL

rhodeyisland- Tony I will take away your coffee privilege

tonyistherealmood- then I'll bite off your head

rhodeyisland- k I'm done

tonyistherealmood- DID YOU THROW AWAY MY COFFEE MACHINE

rhodeyisland- perhaps

tonyistherealmood- I WILL FUCKING EAT YOU

noshitsherlock- how bout you eat my a-

arrowhead- finish that sentence you coward

noshitsherlock- dare me bitch

noshitsherlock- -ass in front of Clint's dead body

arrowhead- y'know what? not bad

arrowhead- alsopleasedontteleportintomyroomthanks

aggressiveshrek- what have I done to deserve these kinds of chaos

rhodeyisland- you befriended Tony Stark

 

---

 

Le Cult™

Monday,6:19 AM

natexehasstopworking- WAKEY WAKEY BITCHY BITCHES

fuckybarnes- YO WTF

fuckybarnes- I'M HERE FOR A GOOD TIME, NOT TO GET WOKEN UP AT 6

natexehasstopworking- cuz Clunt woke me up

arrowhead- wait FUCK

arrowhead- Nat I'm sorry please don't send them the recording

natexehasstopworking- how bout no

fuckybarnes- Clint are you sure you're not dying

arrowhead- bitch I'm dying 24/7

birbboi- I just woke up & idk whether I'm hallucinating or not

natexehasstopworking- all of us are just a pigment of your imagination

fuckybarnes- I wish

arrowhead- first of all ouch & second of all I will fucking crash into your room & start singing Ocean Man

fuckybarnes- ah yes the sweet release of death

capsicle- BUCKY NO

birbboi- ah shit, here we go again

capsicle- YOU'RE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND I GOTTA TELL YOU YOU CAN'T DIE

fuckybarnes- DON'T MAKE ME DIVORCE YOU

capsicle- FUCKWAIT NO

natexehasstopworking- LANGUAGE

arrowhead- I can watch this all day

birbboi- Imma get some popcorn

 

---

 

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor

Monday, 8:37 AM

 

beterbarker- someone please gently kill me please

letsgolesbians- mood

noshitsherlock- PETER WTF

noshitsherlock- you're grounded

beterbarker- yOU ARe nOt My dAD

tonyistherealmood- guess what he is now

aggressiveshrek- tf happened

tonyistherealmood- yesterday he said it's weird that we're still boyfriends even tho I ate his ass as dinner everyday so now he's my husband

beterbarker- DADS WTF

tonyistherealmood- FUCK WE FORGOT TO COVER HIS EYES

beterbarker- I need eye bleach

noshitsherlock- TONY WHEN DID I SAY THAT

tonyistherealmood- YESTERDAY, YOU WERE IN POST NUT CLARITY

fuckybarnes- lol imagine losing No Nut November every single day

noshitsherlock- lol imagine getting laid

fuckybarnes- ouch

tonyistherealmood- sorry, my religion doesn't recognize No Nut November

redmagic- can y'all just stab me?

aggressiveshrek- what's with everyone dying

letsgolebians- chem quiz in 20 minutes

tonyistherealmood- oof sucks to suck

redmagic- imagine having braincells

tonyistherealmood- hah jokes on you I've sold all my braincells

noidontneedsalt- Tony, we all know you don't have braincells

tonyistherealmood- thanks Pep very cool

capsicle- beep beep don't freaking kill yourself over a quiz

beterbarker- ok boomer

capsicle- I feel offended

beterbarker- you should

noshitsherlock- y'all acting like Tumblr textposts

redmagic- wait STEPHEN'S ON TUMBLR

fuckybarnes- of course he is, he's gay

noshitsherlock- ding ding ding

noidontneedsalt- I bet he's running an Ironstrange fan blog

noshitsherlock- yeah like what tf am I supposed to do with my life

Chapter Text

Odinsons
Wednesday, 5:07 AM

imhelapissed- I wanna stab someone in the chest & that someone is me
thortilla- what again drama queen
imhelapissed- we ran out of coffee
thortilla- k this is now important
snekyboi- and also literally everything else
snekyboi- I'm gonna go & steal Stark's wallet
aggressiveshrek- I wanna join
imhelapissed- is there any part where we need to set stuff on fire
thortilla- *chuckles nervously* umm wtf
snekyboi- well I want to but I also don't want to die
aggressiveshrek- I thought you're emo & hate life
snekyboi- assuming I'm emo is probably your first time getting stuff THAT wrong
thortilla- *plays g note*
snekyboi- OKAY FINE I'M EMO JUST STOP
imhelapissed- Jesus Christ Thor you don't need to do it
thortilla- wait Loki are you actually crying
thortilla- FUCK I'm sorry
aggressiveshrek- wait didn't mcr announced a return?
imhelapissed- well idk I'm not that emo

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor
Wednesday, 7:22 AM

tonyistherealmood- I'm skipping pe to go on a quest in Walmart who wanna join
arrowhead- wait I thought you only go to Target
tonyistherealmood- you dare to bring up Target?
tonyistherealmood- WE ALL GOT BLACKLISTED
arrowhead- why you sound like it's only my fault
letsgolesbians- I need to know what happened
arrowhead- all of us become the gods of chaos at Target twice
aggressiveshrek- also Loki & Hela set a microwave on fire
imhelapissed- hey we only did it for the aesthetic
tonyistherealmood- so who wanna join me?
fuckybarnes- nah you're boring
tonyistherealmood- I will become Mr Beast for an hour
fuckybarnes- DEAL
noshitsherlock- wait you guys want to walk into a Walmart?!
letsgolebians- what's wrong with Walmart
noshitsherlock- *Vietnam war flashback*
fuckybarnes- I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION
tonyistherealmood- I'm too rich to been in a Walmart
snekyboi- don't make me want to steal your wallet even more
tonyistherealmood- wait what
imhelapissed- fuck ABORT MISSION
tonyistherealmood- at this point I'm too afraid to ask what the fuck again
beterbarker- wait if the last time we're at Target we brunt a microwave, what will happen if we stay in Walmart for more than 3 seconds
redmagic- time to find out :)
yeetorbeyeeten- hey Mr Beast wannabe buy me a car
tonyistherealmood- Hi my name is Tony & I'm broke
beterbarker- Hi broke, I'm dad
noshitsherlock- how the tables have turned
letsgolebians- how the turntable
fuckybarnes- power move
tonyistherealmood- this move is so effective that I don't know how to reply
beterbarker- good
tonyistherealmood- k I'm going to Walmart ALONE & I'm gonna tweet about it with my Gucci smart socks
arrowhead- this flex is much more powerful than airpods
redmagic- wait Gucci smart socks is actually a thing?
tonyistherealmood- I might've made it up but I sure have a Gucci smart shoe
letsgolebians- why you sound like your phone has 10 cameras on the back
tonyistherealmood- because I have
snekyboi- so are we still going to Walmart or not
tonyistherealmood- fine I'll bring you with me
snekyboi- finally
tonyistherealmood- pe fucking sucks, I rather go to Walmart
capsicle- lmao imagine being a twink
tonyistherealmood- I'm offended and now I'll try my best sabotaging your relationship even tho it's already broken enough
fuckybarnes- I have one (1) fear
beterbarker- wait where's Clint
natexehasstopworking- dead
imhelapissed- good
letsgolebians- nO
beterbarker- should we be concerned that a 15 y/o is driving
tonyistherealmood- first, no & second, that's why Loki's driving
thortilla- you call yourself a genius yet you let Loki drive
tonyistherealmood- yeah guess what? I crave death

---
Wednesday, 7:30 AM

tonyistherealmood- nvm Walmart is a mess
birbboi- yeah blah blah blah gimme my orbeez
birbboi- I'm hungry
redmagic- when is orbeez edible
birbboi- as long as you're brave enough
tonyistherealmood- wait when did they remove the nut from honey nut cheerios
arrowhead- you gotta your own ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
tonyistherealmood- I'm not THAT gay yet
noshitsherlock- yeah... sure...
noshitsherlock- Pete we're getting a divorce, you wanna stay with Tony or me
beterbarker- yo wtf
tonyistherealmood- alright fine, I'm as gay as Bucky. Are you happy now?
fuckybarnes- I feel offended
tonyistherealmood- so who wants to join a challenge
tonyistherealmood- I'll give you an hour in Walmart & at the end you need to pay for whatever you choose yourself
yeetorbeyeeten- that's just capitalism with extra steps
noshitsherlock- time to overthrow the government
beterbarker- now everyone's paycheck is the same
snekyboi- who wants a burnt vinyl record player with a side of ice cream
tonyistherealmood- I only left you for 3 seconds
snekyboi- I need more attention
rhodeyisland- great, now there's 2 of them
snekyboi- well at least I'm not addicted to caffeine
beterbarker- Tony can I get the burnt record player
tonyistherealmood- no
beterbarker- *pulls out knife* how bout now
tonyistherealmood- Loki stop corrupting my son
snekyboi- only if you buy me a pillowfort
capsicle- what's with everyone's obsession with pillowfort
fuckybarnes- cuz it's fun
tonyistherealmood- gays I found Clint
arrowhead- took you a while
natexehasstopworking- please don't tell me he hid in your car the whole time
tonyistherealmood- welp hello Einstein
arrowhead- I just want free uber
tonyistherealmood- great now people thought I kidnapped Clint
snekyboi- someone please bail us out
imhelapissed- can't you just escape via a portal
snekyboi- holy shit you're right
tonyistherealmood- STEPHEN HE FUCKING LEFT ME
noshitsherlock- I won't bail you out
tonyistherealmood- didn't I left my another wallet at your house
noshitsherlock- RHODEY I DON'T WANNA GO
rhodeyisland- PEP COME DEAL WITH YOUR DUMBASS
noidontneedsalt- BRUCE GO GET YOUR SCIENCE BRO
tonyistherealmood- I hate y'all

Chapter Text

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor
Wednesday, 2:22 PM

tonyistherealmood- can someone explain to Fury that I "got shoved into a locker" for half of the day
arrowhead- nope
tonyistherealmood- you literally rope me into this
natexehasstopworking- I thought you have enough dignity to not say that you got shoved into a locker
tonyistherealmood- bold of you to assume I have dignity
aggressiveshrek- can I NOT help you
capsicle- wait aren't you claustrophobic
tonyistherealmood- yeah...sure...
noshitsherlock- whether he actually has claustrophobia or not, he still has a lot of space in the locker considering his size
tonyistherealmood- first of all, I married you so I have an emotional support, not another guy to roast me & second, please remember the fact that short people are closer to hell
birbboi- oh so that's why you're gay
arrowhead- stop being homophobic
yeetorbeyeeten- what do you mean he's homophobic, he's not afaid of home
tonyistherealmood- only I can be afraid of home #daddyissuegang
arrowhead- allow us to introduce ourselves
snekyboi- allow us to introduce ourselves
beterbarker- you can't have daddy issue when your dad is dead 😎 amiright?
noshitsherlock- WAIT NO
beterbarker- self deprecating jokes are the only ones I can make cuz I have no real sense of humor
tonyistherealmood- mood
natexehasstopworking- y'all need therapy
arrowhead- hah we're too broke for it
tonyistherealmood- therapy? I rather tell all my problems to a stranger that I accidentally bumped into at the first day of school
rhodeyisland- and that's how I ended up befriending this mess
tonyistherealmood- thanks for the compliment
aggressiveshrek- just curious, did Tony fake everything in his life
natexehasstopworking- I swear Tony is as fake as an Instagram influencer
tonyistherealmood- inaccurate, my depression & daddy issue are still real
beterbarker- can we all just die
aggressiveshrek- only if you'll pay me tho
beterbarker- say no more, hitman
aggressiveshrek- great, now you've paid for your VIBE CHECK
fuckybarnes- is Bruce high again I'm pretty sure he is
beterbarker- wait how did we get from getting Tony out of trouble to whether Bruce smokes marijuana
thortilla- through the power of memes
yeetorbeyeeten- and chaos
tonyistherealmood- & self deprecating jokes

Odinsons
Wednesday, 3:14 PM

imhelapissed- so how was it
snekyboi- fun for the whole family
snekyboi- also I forgot to buy pop tarts but we can steal it from Barton
thortilla- yeah sounds fun indeed
aggressiveshrek- wait did you really burn a record player & didn't get kicked out
snekyboi- they can't detect the fire if the smoke detectors are gone
aggressiveshrek- and no one noticed
snekyboi- yup
aggressiveshrek- now I have new found respect for you

Gay Wizards
Wednesday, 6:34 PM

noshitsherlock- what's up motherfuckers
noshitsherlock- now I'm emo & a bitch because Tont said MCR isn't that great
redmagic- that's easy, just kill him
snekyboi- he doesn't love you if he doesn't love MCR
antsinmypants- is this chat just for emos or
snekyboi- please tell me you're emo too
noshitsherlock- this chat is for both emos & divas
redmagic- I'm mildly offended
snekyboi- just admit it, we're divas & we're emo af
redmagic- I'm not emo, I'm just done with humanity
antsinmypants- the only mentality I'm living with
noshitsherlock- nice
noshitsherlock- also who wanna go to do nails with me
snekyboi- that's gay I'm in

redmagic-don't mind me, just blasting FOB while planning a murder

antsinmypants- FOB isn't that emo, discuss
snekyboi- THEIR SONGS SLAP
noshitsherlock- FOB is alright I guess but at least it's not P!ATD
redmagic- PANIC! IS GOOD
snekyboi- IT'S NOT EVEN EMO
redmagic- alright fine but we can all agree on 1 thing, TØP is good
antsinmypants- yeah
noshitsherlock- If I hear anyone talk shit about TØP, I probably just curl up & cry
noshitsherlock- & probably kill them if I'm bored
snekyboi- that's the spirit

Chapter Text

TheGroupChatThatNoOneAskFor
Tuesday, 7:01 AM

fuckybarnes- tis the season to kill someone becuz All I Want For Christmas Is You is playing on radio & literally everywhere 24/7
redmagic- stfu All I Want For Christmas Is You slaps
birbboi- um I'm pretty sure it doesn't
beterbarker- c'mon we can all agree that this is the best
fuckybarnes- Only becuz I'm emo, it's on thin fucking ice
natexehasstopworking- I could be at MCR Return rn yet here I am, stuck here listening to Christmas songs
noshitsherlock- oof sucks to suck
natexehasstopworking- hey look it's an emo with a sugar daddy
noshitsherlock- 1) He's more of a sugar disaster 2) He's the one who wants to go 3) Fuck you
birbboi- wait he's emo?
fuckybarnes- GAYS BREAKING NEWS TONY IS EMO
beterbarker- I DEMAND PHOTOS @rhodeyisland
rhodeyisland- yes he was emo & also no pic cuz he threatened to kill me y'know normal emo shit
natexehasstopworking- tbh Rhodey acts like Janet from The Good Place
rhodeyisland- cuz I am
tonyistherealmood- I just left for 3 seconds & wtf
natexehasstopworking- actually it's been a week & we thought you're dead
birbboi- there's even a funeral & It'll be fun if you show up
tonyistherealmood- first of all ouch & second, yeah I was emo, MCR was my childhood, sue me
tonyistherealmood- also why no one told me about my funeral
noshitsherlock- cuz I'm waiting for this moment
tonyistherealmood- are you telling me that you were at the funeral & didn't even bother to tell them I'm alive
noshitsherlock- yeah basically
tonyistherealmood- why
noshitsherlock- cuz funerals are fun
beterbarker- that's mildly disturbing but okay
fuckybarnes- hey Tony quick question is All I want For Christmas Is You a good song
tonyistherealmood- that shit slaps
redmagic- told you so, Bucket
fuckybarnes- lemme get my knife
tonyistherealmood- Fucky, you sound like Grinch
fuckybarnes- thanks
noshitsherlock- hey I'm the only one that can be Grinch
fuckybarnes- nvm I found out who tf is blasting Christmas songs
natexehasstopworking- Sbeve?
fuckybarnes- yup
birbboi- are you still gonna kill him
fuckybarnes- yup
yeetorbeyeeten- hey quick question should I replace the angel on the school's Christmas tree with Shrek
beterbarker- are you implying that Shrek isn't an angel
fuckybarnes- c'mon we can all agree that Shrek is our lord & savior, not an angel
redmagic- Christmas is actually Shrek's birthday & that's a fact, I don't make the rules
rhodeyisland- c'mon Shrek is not Jesus, he's literally God himself

Le Cult
Tuesday, 8:28 AM

fuckybarnes- Merry Christmas my friends that I love with all my heart
arrowhead- that bullshit made me wanna throw up, just tell us what you want
fuckybarnes- y'all sned hlep
arrowhead- what
fuckybarnes- I may or may not accidentally took away Tony's gift for Stephen
arrowhead- you WHAT
fuckybarnes- I know Tony always bring Christmas presents just to be a rich af Santa so I try to get mine first just to prank him & I accidentally got Stephen's
natexehasstopworking- be ready to get your skull crushed
birbboi- you fucked up Fucky
fuckybarnes- yes I can tell
redmagic- we need a reverse heist
arrowhead- sounds fun & the worst outcome is only  just Tony brutally murdering us
beterbarker- wtf Bucky
fuckybarnes- don't tell Tony about it
beterbarker- don't worry I'm not heartless
yeetorbeyeeten- wait how did you find out it's Stephen's & not someone else's
fuckybarnes- cuz it's a fucking ring
natexehasstopworking- JESUS CHRIST
arrowhead- you're fucked if you don't return it
birbboi- I'm planning your funeral
redmagic- just ask Loki for help?
arrowhead- he will only make it worst just so he can attend the funeral in the most dramatic suit
beterbarker- ngl the one with Christmas lights is pretty rad
yeetorbeyeeten- agree
natexehasstopworking- Buck do you actually think we can pull the reverse heist off with our shared dying braincell which is bouncing around in our skull rn
fuckybarnes- first of all, we have Peter & Shuri, second, the answer is nope
beterbarker- sorry Bucky but I can't help, I'll definitely accidentally tell Tony about it

Reverse Heist Time
Tuesday, 8:32 AM

(fuckybarnes added arrowhead, natexehasstopworking, birbboi, redmagic, yeetorbeyeeten to the groupchat)

fuckybarnes- so what are we supposed to do
natexehasstopworking- k we know for a fact that he'll give it to Stephen the last in front of everyone to be dramatic
birbboi- so we have a longer time to put it back before it
fuckybarnes- yeah no shit Sherlock
birbboi- as if you don't need me
arrowhead- this feel like Brooklyn 99 all over again
redmagic- IT'S REVERSE HEIST TIME
arrowhead- REVERSE HEIST TIME
birbboi- REVERSE HEIST TIME
natexehasstopworking- *roll the opening*
arrowhead- k back to the plan, can I crawl into the vent
fuckybarnes- that's literally your hobby
fuckybarnes- so we make Tony to put the bag away for once by spilling shit on him?
natexehasstopworking- no thanks I don't wanna die
yeetorbeyeeten- pe class?
natexehasstopworking- nah it won't work, he will be skipping it with Stephen to have sex
redmagic- WE DON'T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT IT
yeetorbeyeeten- no actually
yeetorbeyeeten- who's the bottom
fuckybarnes- spill the tea sis
natexehasstopworking- Stephen surprisingly
birbboi- 👀
arrowhead- 👀
redmagic- 👀
natexehasstopworking- can we just get back to the plan, my braincells are dying
arrowhead- false, we all share 1 dying braincell
natexehasstopworking- I hate you
arrowhead- love you too
natexehasstopworking- I will legit throw you off a building
arrowhead- nvm I take everything back
fuckybarnes- wait I have an idea, Tony definitely won't bring it into the lab with him
yeetorbeyeeten- finally our dying braincell is functioning
fuckybarnes- k so who has the same Chem class with him
natexehasstopworking- I feel like he'll probably seek into the lab every moment possible so it won't be hard
fuckybarnes- so Clint will be spying on Tony & Nat will pick the lock of his locker, Sam & I will be putting Stephen's gift back & get mine to prank Tony
birbboi- I will steal Steeb from you
fuckybarnes- alright fine, we return it & that's it
fuckybarnes- Shuri will distract Tony for as long as possible if we're bad at literally everything
arrowhead- which is most of the time
fuckybarnes- that hits a bit too close to home
redmagic- hey look we figured shit out
natexehasstopworking- YAY REVERSE HEIST
yeetorbeyeeten- YAY REVERSE HEIST
arrowhead- YAY REVERSE HEIST
birbboi- YAY REVERSE HEIST
fuckybarnes- YAY REVERSE HEIST

 

Reverse Heist Time

Tuesday, 9:40 AM

redmagic- and I'll be planning y'all's funeral