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A Weird Concoction

Chapter Text

tptobes added clairebear, smallj, dontblink, argh, and nomore to the chat

 

tptobes named the group trollhunters

 

June 2, 2018

4:56pm

 

tptobes: hello, friends

 

nomore: PLEASE tell me you didn’t make a group chat

 

tptobes: I have created a group chat so we can all stay in touch!!

 

clairebear: this is probably going to be chaos in .2 seconds but eh it’s a good idea anyway

 

tptobes: is there anyone else we need to add?

 

smallj: well considering pretty much everyone knows about trolls now, add whoever you want

 

clairebear: no please don’t add darci she’s gonna start yelling at me

 

nomore: add darci

 

nomore: i don’t know who she is but she sounds fun

 

clairebear: betrayal

 

tptobes: i could add steve and eli

 

tptobes: eli because he actually knows stuff and steve because why not

 

nomore: are you implying no one else here knows stuff?

 

smallj: yes

 

clairebear: well yeah i mean jim missed 43 days of school so he doesn’t know stuff

 

nomore: how do you even miss FORTY-THREE days of school?!

 

smallj: I WAS TRAPPED IN THE DARKLANDS

 

tptobes: how did your mom not know you missed 43 days of school is the better question

 

smallj: plot hole

 

tptobes: valid

 

dontblink: I’m not sure I understand what’s going on here.

 

smallj: valid

 

clairebear: jim stop

 

smallj: no

 

tptobes: i’m adding some people to the chat

 

nomore: uh oh

 

nomore: don’t add stricklander

 

smallj: ^^

 

smallj: please tobes

 

tptobes added pepperbuddy, steve, arcadiamascott

 

clairebear: toby i trusted you

 

clairebear: also i know someone else we need to add

 

clairebear added thegoodchangeling

 

nomore: are you implying all other changelings are bad?

 

thegoodchangeling: yes.

 

nomore: honestly? valid.

 

thegoodchangeling: i know

 

arcadiamascott: CLAIRE

 

clairebear: here we go

 

arcadiamascott: WHY DID YOU NOT TELL US ABOUT TROLLS?!

 

clairebear: I wasn’t allowed to

 

clairebear: Also I didn’t want to put you in danger

 

arcadiamascott: Okay, but what is this I hear about you graduating early?

 

clairebear: UM

 

smallj: claire’s super smart and she’s going to prove that to the world!

 

clairebear: he’s joking

 

tptobes: he’s really not you’re like freakishly smart

 

clairebear: I have to move and I have enough credits to graduate early here, so I’m going to graduate early so I don’t have to worry about transferring everything to a new school

 

clairebear: also i got a cool internship with Mr. Blinky :-)

 

arcadiamascott: i feel like most of that is made up

 

clairebear: the truth is honestly less believable

 

arcadiamascott: i can handle it

 

clairebear: fine. I’m going with the trolls to New Jersey to find a new place for them to live since their old home got destroyed and also jim is a troll now

 

steve: WHAT

 

smallj: long story

 

pepperbuddy: jim is a TROLL?!

 

pepperbuddy: wait were you always a troll or are you like half-troll or like a changeling or????????????????

 

smallj: i was not always a troll i used to be human, merlin gave me a potion(?) that turned me into a troll so i could take on gunmar/angor rot/morgana i guess, now i am half human and half troll but i pretty much just look like a troll

 

clairebear: potion(?)

 

smallj: listen idk what it was it was some sort of weird concoction

 

clairebear: fair

 

tptobes named the group weird concoction

 

nomore: accurate

 

pepperbuddy: wait okay so who is everyone here

 

smallj: I’m Jim

 

smallj: except i’m half troll now

 

clairebear: i’m Claire, obviously

 

tbtobes: Toby!!

 

nomore: My name is Nomura, I am a changeling and a museum curator

 

thegoodchangeling: i don’t remember me name BUT everyone calls me NotEnrique because I am, in fact, not Claire’s baby brother

 

thegoodchangeling: I’m a changeling (duh) and me familiar was Claire’s brother, but Jim brought him back from the Darklands, so now I’m permanently in me troll form

 

arcadiamascott: i’m Darci and I really only know a small fraction of what’s going on here

 

argh: AAARRRGGHH!

 

steve: what

 

smallj: that’s his name

 

steve: w h a t

 

dontblink: I am Blinkous Galadrigal, leader of

 

dontblink: actually nowhere right now

 

smallj: we’re going to New Jersey

 

clairebear: lowkey new jersey scares me

 

smallj: honestly that’s fair

 

pepperbuddy: you have to tell me if you run into the Jersey Devil

 

smallj: the w ha t

 

pepperbuddy: the Jersey Devil! you know, from the legends

 

smallj: no i don’t i’m concerned

 

clairebear: Isn’t it that weird goat/bat/serpent thing or something?

 

pepperbuddy: sure?

 

clairebear: yeah i remember it’s on Cryptids Island on Poptropica

 

tptobes: MY CHILDHOOD

 

nomore: what

 

pepperbuddy: brb i’m going to go make a poptropica account

 

tptobes: eli… have you never played poptropica before?

 

pepperbudy: no?

 

tptobes: I’m coming over right now immediately to show you everything you need to know

 

pepperbuddy: ok?

 

steve: you’re just,, going with it?

 

pepperbuddy: what else can i do?

 

steve: ok fair enough

 

smallj: Steve, did you ever play Poptropica?

 

steve: Of course not!

 

smallj: I don’t believe you

 

steve: Fine, yes, I have played it before

 

clairebear: poptropica is where it was AT

 

tptobes: NABOOTI ISLAND IS MEMBERS ONLY NOW GUYS THIS IS T R E A S O N

 

clairebear: TREASON

 

clairebear: i loved that island :(

 

clairebear: rip

 

tptobes: someone tell eli he can’t start out with cryptids island and he needs to start out on early poptropica

 

pepperbuddy: but CRYPTIDS

 

pepperbuddy: i want to meet bigfoot!!!!

 

smallj: let the kid look for bigfoot

 

tptobes: early poptropica is 1 skull (easiest) and cryptids is 3 skulls (hardest) and eli has NEVER PLAYED BEFORE

 

clairebear: back when i first started playing there was only early poptropica and shark tooth. we were excited for time tangled. membership and skulls didn’t exist. life was simple.

 

nomore: stop making yourself sound like an old lady you’re 16

 

pepperbuddy: So does that mean I can look for Bigfoot?

 

clairebear: yeah sure idc

 

tptobes: you guys are. no help at all.

 

smallj: sorry

 

pepperbuddy: BIGFOOT HERE I COME

 

dontblink: What is this ‘Poptropica’?

 

tptobes: It’s a super cool computer game

 

smallj: we all played it back in elementary school

 

clairebear: “back in elementary school” i’m downloading the app right now coward

 

tptobes: THERE’S AN APP?

 

tptobes: brb i’m goin to the app store

 

argh: where is app store?

 

tptobes: oh it’s on my phone i’m not actually going anywhere

 

tptobes: except to New Jersey to fight Jim and Claire for not backing me up

 

smallj: we’re not even in new jersey yet

 

tptobes: i’ll meet u there

 

clairebear: ...was that a threat?

 

smallj: our small innocent toby is growing up

 

clairebear: my little baby, off to destroy people :’)

 

steve: he’s off to destroy you

 

clairebear: :’)

 

tptobes: catch u in new jersey

Chapter Text

smallj sent a message to weird concoction

tap to view

 

June 3, 2018

10:18am

 

smallj: toby pls come fight me i miss u

 

tptobes: i miss you too

 

tptobes: but alas, i cannot

 

smallj: :(((((((

 

tptobes: :(((((((

 

clairebear: u know what’s kinda funny

 

nomore: jim asking toby to fight him?

 

clairebear: back when we did the flour assignment

 

smallj: can we not bring this up again

 

clairebear: jim and i were partners, and we’re dating

 

clairebear: toby and darci were partners, and now they’re dating too!

 

tptobes: are u implying what i think ur implying

 

steve: i’m leaving this chat and never returning

 

clairebear: fair

 

dontblink: I’m afraid I am confused again.

 

arcadiamascott: claire no

 

clairebear: claire yes

 

arcadiamascott: stop

 

clairebear: no.

 

arcadiamascott: did you hear that mary broke up with tight jeans hank again???

 

clairebear: good for her!

 

clairebear: she deserves better

 

arcadiamascott: tru

 

nomore: so we’re just gonna ignore whatever claire was implying with ‘the flour assignment’?

 

thegoodchangeling: i’ll tell you in a separate chat

 

nomore: okay because i’m completely lost

 

tptobes: who was Mary paired up with during the flour assignment?

 

clairebear: i don’t even remember anymore

 

clairebear: so much has happened since then

 

tptobes: well whoever it was is destined to be her next bf/gf

 

smallj: i guess so

 

arcadiamascott: Jim, can I ask why you’re username is smallj?

 

smallj: no you cannot

 

smallj: what up i’m jim i’m sixteen and i have a mysterious username

 

smallj: jk toby was joking about me being ‘small jim’ because i’m james lake jr and then this happened

 

tptobes: well you’re not very small anymore

 

clairebear: he wasn’t exactly small before though

 

tptobes: well he was skinnier than a literal twig

 

clairebear: fair

 

smallj: so what you guys want me to change my username to bigJ?

 

nomore: please Do Not

 

smallj: why not?

 

nomore: let’s just say it has to do with my childhood

 

smallj: are we finally unlocking nomura’s Tragic Backstory????

 

tptobes: i’ll grab the popcorn!

 

nomore: no, none of you fleshbags are getting my tragic backstory

 

smallj: so there is a tragic backstory???

 

thegoodchangeling: i am Offended

 

thegoodchangeling: you’re not allowed to imply i’m human when you’re probably literally in human form right now

 

nomore: oh go tear yourself in half

 

clairebear: this just in: nomura is a Queen

 

steve: so is jim changing his username or not?

 

smallj: i think you need a username change more than i do

 

steve: that’s fair

 

smallj changed their username to trollj

 

tptobes: the j stands for junkyard

 

trollj: thx

 

tptopes: np

 

trollj: alright steve it’s your turn

 

clairebear: omg guys you can change other people’s usernames

 

clairebear changed thegoodchangeling’s username to theokaychangeling

 

theokaychangeling: wow thanks

 

pepperbuddy changed steve’s username to creepslayer

 

creepslayer: okay i can deal with this

 

tptobes changed trollj’s username to trolljunkyard

 

trolljunkyard: w hy

 

trolljunkyard changed their username to trollj

 

trollj changed tptobes’s username to breakfastburrito

 

breakfastburrito: i do love breakfast burritos

 

breakfastburrito: but eh

 

breakfastburrito changed their username to tptobes

 

theokaychangeling: okay let’s play a game

 

clairebear: let’s NOT

 

theokaychangeling: truth or dare

 

arcadiamascott: ...Am I the only one confused about how that would work through texting?

 

tptobes: no you are not

 

theokaychangeling: truth or truth

 

nomore: Boring

 

theokaychangeling: never have i ever

 

nomore: we’d have to keep it clean or you'll have to face the consequences of blinky and aaarrrgghh knowing all ur dirty secrets

 

clairebear: and would that be more beneficial for us or for you?

 

nomore: probably more beneficial for notenrique tbh

 

clairebear: PLEASE TELL ME THAT WAS A JOKE

 

trollj: let's just play

 

dontblink: How do we play this game?

 

clairebear: It’s super easy I’ll just explain it in person

 

tptobes: I’ll explain it to Aaarrrgghh

 

creepslayer: Okay so we’re doing this

Chapter Text

June 3, 2018

11:03am

 

trollj: notenrique, you start since you suggested it

 

clairebear: and only send how many points you have if you lose a point

 

creepslayer: Are we starting with 5 points or 10 points?

 

nomore: let’s just do 5

 

theokaychangeling: alright here we go

 

theokaychangeling: never have i ever dated someone

 

trollj: 4

 

clairebear: 4

 

tptobes: 4

 

arcadiamascott: 4

 

nomore: 4

 

tptobes: nomura is gettin some

 

nomore: that was a long time ago

 

nomore: and also a mistake lol

 

arcadiamascott: i don’t believe that steve palchuk has never dated anyone

 

creepslayer: who would i even date?

 

clairebear: :)

 

creepslayer: i’m leaving

 

trollj: that’s illegal

 

nomore: who’s going next?

 

tptobes: I will!!

 

tptobes: Never have I ever been a troll

 

theokaychangeling: 4

 

nomore: this is war

 

nomore: 3

 

trollj: i’m not a full troll so it doesn’t count

 

theokaychangeling: that's cheating

 

clairebear: but he's technically only a half-troll and toby's never have i ever implied it only counted for full trolls so he's technically right

 

theokaychangeling: well idc about ur "technically"s, i think it's cheating

  

argh: 4

 

dontblink: 4

 

nomore: i’m going next

 

nomore: Never have I ever been male

 

tptobes: 3

 

theokaychangeling: 3

 

trollj: 3

 

creepslayer: 4

 

pepperbuddy: 4

 

dontblink: 3

 

argh: 3

 

tptobes: claire, you go

 

clairebear: okay never have i ever watched a Star Wars movie

 

pepperbuddy: WHAT

 

pepperbuddy: how am i even friends with you

 

pepperbuddy: 3

 

tptobes: 2

 

trollj: 2

 

creepslayer: 3

 

argh: 2

 

pepperbuddy: this means there are FIVE of you who have never seen a single star wars movie this is outrageous how are you even alive

 

arcadiamascott: if it helps, i really want to watch them but i don’t have enough time

 

pepperbuddy: toby take ur girlfriend on a date where u watch star wars

 

pepperbuddy: do it

 

pepperbuddy: this is vital for our friendship to survive

 

tptobes: ok ok i will

 

nomore: who’s next?

 

creepslayer: Never have I ever performed in a battle of the bands

 

clairebear: did we really perform though?

 

pepperbuddy: you started to

 

clairebear: ugh fine

 

clairebear: 3

 

arcadiamascott: 3

 

arcadiamascott: this was a direct hit

 

creepslayer: sorry but you two were winning

 

arcadiamascott: Never have I ever had blonde hair

 

creepslayer: wow ok

 

creepslayer: 2

 

theokaychangeling: 2

 

theokaychangeling: s/o to enrique for being the ONLY one in claire’s family to not have black hair..

 

dontblink: Never have I ever been human for more than a month

 

theokaychangeling: jim this counts for you because you used to be human

 

trollj: i know, i know

 

trollj: 1

 

tptobes: 1

 

clairebear: 2

 

thegoodchangeling: 1

 

nomore: 2

 

arcadiamascott 2

 

pepperbuddy: 2

 

creepslayer: 1

 

pepperbuddy: Never have I ever watched the Harry Potter movies without reading the books first

 

tptobes: this was an attack

 

tptobes: 0 :(

 

nomore: 1

 

theokaychangeling: 0 lol

 

nomore: alright, jim or Aaarrrgghh

 

trollj: I’m bad at thinking up things for this game!!!

 

tptobes: Aaarrrgghh’s is Never have I ever been to Japan

 

theokaychangeling: what

 

tptobes: he didn’t want to get anyone out

 

clairebear: a pure soul

 

clairebear: unlike me

 

trollj: pls tell me we don’t need to perform another exorcism

 

creepslayer: “another”

 

arcadiamascott: ANOTHER?

 

nomore: okay little gynt, it’s your turn

 

trollj: it’s troll gynt now apparently

 

tptobes: the j is for jynt

 

trollj: ALSO I HAVE NO IDEAS!!!!!

 

clairebear: literally you can do the stupidest thing like Nomura did

 

nomore: fair

 

trollj: no i gotta think of something better than that

 

trollj: never have i ever worn lipstick

 

nomore: i can’t believe you’ve done this

 

nomore: 0

 

tptobes: nomura knows vines

 

clairebear: rip in peace :(

 

clairebear: also 1

 

arcadiamascott: 1

 

pepperbuddy: 1

 

clairebear: what

 

pepperbuddy: it wasn't by choice

 

clairebear: you're going to tell me the story behind this later

 

pepperbuddy: okay whatever

 

clairebear: so anyway

 

clairebear: Never have I ever seen a musical live

 

pepperbuddy: rip me

 

pepperbuddy: 0

 

trollj: not even school musicals?

 

clairebear: I’ve always been in them

 

trollj: makes sense

 

trollj: 0

 

arcadiamascott: 0

 

trollj: blinky’s going to win

 

creepslayer: Never have I ever had more than two arms?

 

dontblink: 2

 

arcadiamascott: you sound unsure

 

creepslayer: screw off

 

dontblink: Never have I ever listened to Taylor Swift

 

dontblink: I don’t know who Taylor Swift is, but Master Jim told me to say that.

 

clairebear: screw u jim

 

clairebear: 0

 

creepslayer: does it count if I was in a store and one of her songs was playing?

 

trollj: yes

 

creepslayer: 0

 

arcadiamascott: sure steve you were in a store

 

creepslayer: tbf who HASN’T heard a taylor swift song???

 

clairebear: the trolls, apparently

 

argh: pass

 

nomore: Blinky, you’re up again

 

dontblink: Does this mean only Aaarrrgghh and I are left?

 

nomore: yeah

 

dontblink: But I don’t want to get Aaarrrgghh out!

 

nomore: then he'll get you out I guess

 

argh: pass

 

trollj: So what now?

 

clairebear: AAARRRGGHH AND BLINKY WIN!!!!

 

dontblink: :::-)

 

tptobes: Good job, Wingman!

 

argh: thanks

 

theokaychangeling: this is called Cheating

 

clairebear: It’s called a tie deal with it

 

theokaychangeling: you can’t make me

 

clairebear: i’m going to. fight you.

 

theokaychangeling: do it

 

clairebear: we duel at sundown

Chapter Text

tptobes sent a message to weird concoction

tap to view

 

June 3, 2018

2:30pm

 

tptobes: what happened who won was it claire pls tell me it was claire

 

tptobes: jim i have $7 riding on this please

 

tptobes: jim

 

tptobes: jim is my money safe i need it

 

trollj: no one won because they didn’t even fight

 

creepslayer: wait so who gets the money

 

tptobes: idk

 

clairebear: You guys bet on our fight?

 

theokaychangeling: iconic

 

clairebear: wrong time

 

theokaychangeling: darn i thought i was understanding it

 

clairebear: ur not

 

theokaychangeling: thanks

 

clairebear: you’re welcome :)

 

nomore: So what happened? Why didn’t you guys fight?

 

trollj: they’re both secretly giant softies

 

theokaychangeling: that is a LIE

 

clairebear: there are more important things to fight over is all

 

clairebear: like pineapple on pizza

 

clairebear: if anyone here likes pineapple on pizza, pls tell me so i can block you right here right now

 

creepslayer: why would anyone fess up to a crime like that

 

clairebear: ok that’s fair

 

tptobes: i’m hungry

 

trollj: as per usual

 

tptobes: ouch

 

tptobes: who wants to go get tacos with me

 

tptobes: i’m going to that mexican place on maine meet me there in 15 minutes if u want

 

arcadiamascott: i’ll be there <3

 

tptobes: <3

 

nomore: ick

 

nomore: i’ll take a hard pass

 

pepperbuddy: steve and i are gonna come too

 

tptobes: cool beans!

 

clairebear: double date

 

creepslayer: fight me

 

clairebear: i would

 

argh: bring back tacos?

 

tptobes: of course, wingman!!

 

trollj: i can’t believe they’re leaving us

 

clairebear: they’re getting lunch, not dying, quit being so melodramatic

 

tptobes: also we can literally still text you if it’s important

 

trollj: it’s impolite to use ur phone during a date

 

arcadiamascott: it’s not a date, it’s hanging out with friends

 

trollj: invite those kids I had to show around Arcadia and then it won’t be a date

 

tptobes: Good idea!

 

tptobes: jim u never sent me their contact info

 

trollj: oh shoot sorry one sec

 

pepperbuddy: What kids?

 

clairebear: Jim had to show some foreign exchange students around Arcadia in order to pass sophomore year (not that it really matters now)

 

clairebear: Aja and Krel

 

clairebear: They seemed nice

 

clairebear: a bit weird

 

clairebear: but nice!!

 

pepperbuddy: foreign exchange students at the end of the school year?

 

clairebear:

 

clairebear: That is kinda strange

 

trollj: They probably just wanted to get to know the culture better before next school year begins

 

pepperbuddy: Yeah maybe…..

 

creepslayer: eli whatever you’re thinking stop

 

pepperbuddy: I’m not thinking anything

 

creepslayer: liar.

 

pepperbuddy: fight me

 

creepslayer: why would you even say that

 

pepperbuddy: do it

 

pepperbuddy: fight me

 

trollj: it’s true; the short ones are feistiest

 

creepslayer: i’m not fighting u eli

 

creepslayer: just don’t do anything weird when we meet these new students

 

pepperbuddy: i never do anything weird

 

creepslayer: liar

 

pepperbuddy: fight me

 

trollj: here we go again

 

clairebear: just go eat tacos before i block you all



---

 

tptobes added !krel! and aja:) to the chat

 

tptobes named the chat lunch?

 

June 3, 2018

2:46pm

 

tptobes: Hi, it’s Toby who took you on a tour of Arcadia with Jim and Claire which ended with you helping us trap lightning in a bottle! Jim sent me your numbers. Some friends and I are going to get lunch together, would you like to join us?

 

aja:): Yes! We would love to!!

 

tptobes: Great! We’re eating at the Mexican place on Main Street, I’ll send you the address in a minute

 

aja:): Okay!

 

aja:): This is going to be lively!!

 

tptobes: It sure is

 

tptobes: Okay, here’s the address [click link to view]

 

!krel!: Thank you for inviting us, Toby

 

tptobes: No problem :-)


---

 

tptobes sent a message to weird concoction

tap to view

 

June 3, 2018

2:50pm

 

tptobes: Aja and Krel are going to join us for lunch

 

arcadiamascott: Fun! I can’t wait to meet them!

 

pepperbuddy: me neither :)

 

creepslayer: eli

 

creepslayer: stop

 

pepperbuddy: no thank you

 

clairebear: Fine, I guess it isn’t a double date anymore

 

clairebear: Is that what you wanted?

 

creepslayer: Yes let’s go we don’t want to be late

 

tptobes: I’m ordering as soon as Aja and Krel are so u better hurry and get here before them

 

pepperbuddy: we’re on our way shhh

 

tptobes: “we’re”

 

pepperbuddy: it’s called carpool look it up

 

tptobes: Neither one of you has a car

 

pepperbuddy: same concept

 

tptobes: fair enough

Chapter Text

“Lively,” Aja muttered under her breath as she and Krel sat down at the same table as Toby. Another girl was there already, and there were two more empty seats. Perhaps for Jim and Claire?

 

Just after Aja sat down, two boys came rushing towards their table and sat down in the empty chairs. Aja recognized them as the newspaper delivery boy and the boy she'd gotten into a fight with at Stuart's food truck.

 

“We’re here! We made it!” The newspaper boy exclaimed as he pulled his chair out. He seemed out of breath.

 

“Good timing.” Toby turned to face Aja and her brother. “Okay. Well, um, Jim and Claire are studying abroad for… a while, so I thought I could introduce you to some other friends!” Toby said excitedly. “This is my girlfriend, Darci.” He motioned to the girl who was seated next to him. She waved politely. “This is Eli.” Tony motioned to newspaper boy. “And this is Steve,” he motioned to the boy Aja had punched. Eli and Steve both waved.

 

“I’m Aja,” Aja placed a hand on her chest to point to herself, “and this is my brother, Krel,” she pointed to her brother. “We are so grateful to be spending time him Arcadia! It is so lively! And legal!”

 

Darci, Steve, and Eli all looked slightly confused while Toby laughed nervously.

 

“They, um, have different expressions in Cante… Cantaloupe... where Aja and Krel are from.”

 

“Yes,” Krel agreed as he shot a pointed glare at Aja, “we have different… how you say… expressions .”

 

“So ‘legal’ means, like, awesomesauce!” Toby grinned. Darci nodded understandingly, Steve still looked slightly confused, and Eli looked like he didn’t believe a single word anyone had said since Aja called Arcadia ‘legal’.

 

Toby lifted up his menu. “Let’s order some food! I’m hungry for some good tacos.”






---


tptobes added trollj and clairebear to the chat

 

tptobes named the chat HELP

 

June 3, 2018

3:23pm

 

tptobes: GUYS

 

trollj: what, did steve and eli cancel?

 

tptobes: NO AJA JUST CALLED HER AND KREL BEING IN ARCADIA "LEGAL" AND NOW EVERYONE IS CONCERNED

 

clairebear: ugh i should have explained what legal actually meant

 

tptobes: YEAH YOU SHOULD HAVE

 

clairebear: sorry to mess up your double date

 

tptobes: It’s not even a double date, the only people dating here are me and Darci

 

trollj: And you’re on your phone, which is NOT a good thing to do on a date!

 

trollj: Or during any meal, really

 

trollj: I may be half troll but at least my mom taught me manners!

 

tptobes: relax saint jim, I’m in the bathroom

 

clairebear: YOU’RE IN THE BATHROOM?!

 

tptobes: Yeah so they wouldn’t see me texting you guys for HELP

 

clairebear: THEY’RE CONCERNED ABOUT KREL AND AJA BEING HERE ILLEGALLY AND YOU L E F T THEM

 

tptobes: in hindsight, this was not my brightest idea

 

clairebear: NO DIP SHERLOCK

 

trollj: ok who gives a flip if krel and aja are here illegally though like refugees deserve good lives too

 

clairebear: idc but other people might!

 

clairebear: other people like STEVE

 

trollj: idk i think he’s changed

 

clairebear: Well yeah maybe but how much????

 

tptobes: ok i’m back at the table i’ll try to secretly text everythign seems fine rn

 

trollj: everythign

 

tptobes: jim stop i’m trying to be secrte

 

trollj: secrte

 

tptobes: jim pls

 

trollj named the group secrte

 

tptobes: r u done

 

trollj: yeah i’m good

 

trollj: have fun on ur double date :)

 

tptobes: it’s literally not a double date fight me

 

trollj: i’ll win

 

tptobes: idc

 

trollj: toby do u need to talk to someone

 

tptobes: yeah i need to talk to these FRIENDS i invited to dinner so i’m putting my phone on mute bye

 

trollj: bye :(

 

clairebear: hopefully everything is okay back in arcadia

 

trollj: is everything ever “okay” in arcadia?

 

clairebear: valid.

 

---

 

dontblink sent a message to weird concoction

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June 3, 2018

7:30pm

 

dontblink: How was your lunch with friends that was not a double date?

 

tptobes: fun :-)

 

pepperbuddy: a little strange…

 

creepslayer: It was interesting

 

pepperbuddy: Blinky?

 

creepslayer: Do Not

 

dontblink: Yes?

 

pepperbuddy: Are aliens real? :-)

 

pepperbuddy: I’m asking for a friend :-)

 

creepslayer: all ur friends r in this chat

 

pepperbuddy: shhhhh

 

dontblink: I’m afraid I don’t know. I only know about Trolls and Troll lore. Sorry. :::-(

 

pepperbuddy: It’s okay, I was just wondering

 

pepperbuddy: And not all of my friends are in this chat, Steve!

 

creepslayer: Most of them

 

pepperbuddy: ok fair

 

arcadiamascott: Okay so NO ONE is going to mention what happened at lunch?

 

trollj: was Toby on his phone too much? i TOLD him to put it away while he was with friends!

 

tptobes: ok mom

 

clairebear: this just in: jim has adopted toby

 

trollj: i’m a proud father

 

dontblink: ...What?

 

trollj: blinky ur a grandpa!!

 

trollj: toby is now ur grandson :-)

 

nomore: this is what happens when i leave my phone at home for one (1) day

 

nomore: blinky has adopted jim and jim has adopted toby and apparently we still haven’t heard darci’s story

 

theokaychangeling: ooh yeah i wanna hear darci’s story!

 

arcadiamascott: Okay, so we were all just sitting, eating, talking about Arcadia n stuff

 

arcadiamascott: n it was toby, me, eli, steve, and toby’s weird friends, aja and krel

 

arcadiamascott: weird in a cool way btw

 

arcadiamascott: And then the door opens and Mary walks in, which is totally normal, but GET THIS

 

clairebear: we she on a date with whoever her flour project partner was pls say yes

 

clairebear: oh god no she got back with tight jeans hank didn’t she

 

clairebear: WAIT NO IT WAS THAT BAND GUY

 

clairebear: MARY IS DATING DOUXIE

 

trollj: better her than you in my humble opinion

 

arcadiamascott: claire stop no it was none of those

 

clairebear: oh ok

 

clairebear: carry on!

 

arcadiamascott: she was with SHANNON

 

clairebear: Well aren’t they kind of friends?

 

arcadiamascott: No, like they were holding hands and i think i saw her kiss shannon’s cheek

 

clairebear: omg

 

arcadiamascott: ik

 

clairebear: kjdsflhgljadskjff they would be so cute together i can’t believe i’m not THERE

 

clairebear: i can’t believe i couldn’t see that mary likes girls!

 

pepperbuddy: maybe ur gaydar is broken

 

clairebear: guess so

 

arcadiamascott: anyway i hope she tells me so i can shower her in love n acceptance n then gush about how cute they are together

 

clairebear: me 2

 

trollj: that’s… that’s what happened at lunch?

 

nomore: what a let down

 

theokaychangeling: i dunno it could be good i met Mary once

 

clairebear: as enrique

 

theokaychangeling: still met her

 

nomore: ugh the last thing this chat needs is more romance

 

nomore: i thought there would be less of it here since you all are kids and some old grandpa trolls but idk i might get less with stricklander

 

trollj: pls stop before i throw up

 

nomore: ikr

 

nomore: and like i was 80% sure he was gay but my gaydar is like 800 years old so w/e i guess

 

tptobes: is this part of the Tragic Backstory…?

 

nomore: 800 years is an exaggeration

 

nomore: and my Tragic Backstory is not that i got kicked out for being gay so get that idea out of ur mind as well bc i KNOW it’s there

 

tptobes: she’s good…………

 

pepperbuddy: but how do you have a gaydar if you’re not gay?

 

nomore: well isn’t that a question?

 

pepperbuddy: yeah it sure was a question

 

nomore: unfortunately, you must be a level 10 friend to unlock an answer, sorry :/

 

nomore: see you losers tomorrow

 

tptobes: so what level do we have to be to unlock the Tragic Backstory?

 

trollj:

 

tptobes: ur probably right

Chapter Text

June 4, 2018

10:34 am

 

clairebear sent a message to weird concoction

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clairebear: hey guys

 

clairebear: Can I tell you something?

 

nomore: fire away, fair claire

 

clairebear: okay so notenrique and jim already know this (bc i told jim this morning in person) but i feel like the rest of you should know so

 

clairebear: I’m bi

 

clairebear: surprise?

 

pepperbuddy: ah so THAT’S why you implied you had a gaydar

 

clairebear: yeah

 

nomore: this isn’t some big ruse to get me to explain why i implied i have a gaydar, is it?

 

clairebear: 1. no 2. u didn’t imply it, you literally said you had a gaydar

 

nomore: oh whatever

 

arcadiamascott: I STILL LOVE U CLAIRE

 

clairebear: LOVE U 2 DARCI

 

tptobes: ok while we’re on the topic, i’m pan

 

clairebear: i knew it.

 

pepperbuddy: your gaydar worked on him!!

 

clairebear: yeah!!

 

trollj: cool beans dude

 

tptobes: thx

 

clairebear: oh um also my parents don’t know about me being bi so pls don’t say anything to them bc i’d rather tell them myself, in person

 

tptobes: roger that

 

clairebear: so, eli, anything you want to say?

 

pepperbuddy: I’m gay

 

nomore: we been knew

 

pepperbuddy: yeah i wasn’t really trying to hide it idc

 

arcadiamascott: so, was it actually a double date before we invited aja and krel???

 

pepperbuddy: NO IT WAS NOT

 

dontblink: I am, once again, a bit confused by these human terms

 

clairebear: bi - attracted to both girls and guys

pan - attracted to all genders (there’s a fuzzy line between bi and pan, sometimes it comes down to whichever label each individual person prefers)

gay - attracted to the same gender as you, also can be used as an umbrella term for anyone who is not straight, generally refers to boys rather than girls, though girls use it sometimes too

straight - attracted to the opposite gender (etc. girls who like boys, boys who like girls) (most people consider this the ‘default’ even though it shouldn’t be)

ace - not sexually attracted to anyone, but could still experience romantic attraction, this is a spectrum which includes more detailed sexualities

aro - not romantically attracted to anyone, but could still experience sexual attraction, this is also a spectrum very similar to the ace spectrum

poly - attracted to multiple genders, but not all

queer - umbrella term, similar to gay though some people consider this a deragatory slur

lesbian - girls who are attracted to girls (so basically gay but exclusively for girls)

trans - when someone identifies as a different gender from what they were assigned at birth

non-binary - identifying with a gender (or lack thereof) outside of the generic male/female gender binary, can be used as an umbrella term or a gender identity

agender - lack of a gender

genderfluid - switching between genders, sometimes just male and female, or sometimes it includes an identity outside of the gender binary (it’s generally fluid over longer periods of time, not like hour to hour from what i’ve seen)

 

clairebear: i’m sure i forgot some but those are the basics of the lgbtq+ community

 

trollj: wow

 

trollj: i never knew there were so many different labels

 

nomore: i guess you all are expecting my explanation now?

 

pepperbuddy: we don’t need one it’s okay

 

nomore: eh i guess you’re all level 10 friends now

 

nomore: i’m aromantic

 

theokaychangeling: not to pry, but didn’t ya say you’d been in a relationship before?

 

nomore: that was before i knew dingbat

 

nomore: i thought how i felt was normal, i figured everyone was just making sacrifices because society decided romance was good or smth idk

 

nomore: anyway then i heard about the term aromantic and was like “wait that’s me” and i ended things

 

nomore: and that’s all of my backstory you’re getting until you’re a level ∞ friend :)

 

clairebear: we love n support u nomura

 

nomore: cool i’m gonna go get some coffee at the coffee shop bye

 

clairebear: bye :-)


---

 

nomore sent a message to mrstricklander

 

nomore: i’m gonna kill myself

 

mrstricklander: Is that group chat you’re in with the Trollhunters really ticking you off that much?

 

nomore: i told them

 

nomore: i forking opened up and told them i’m aromantic i’m gonna die

 

mrstricklander: You’re not going to die. Why would you die?

 

nomore: bc i’m gonna kill myself

 

mrstricklander: Also are we going to mention the ‘forking’ or no?

 

nomore: i’ve been spending too much time around children

 

mrstricklander: Understandable

 

nomore: also i started watching the good place and it’s hilarious

 

mrstricklander: So why are you texting me about this?

 

nomore: oh yeah do u know where i can find a rope

 

mrstricklander: NO

 

mrstricklander: Nomura, who cares if you told them? We’ve been through life or death apocalypse stuff together, people tend to share an emotional bond after that. They’re not going to turn their backs on you or anything.

 

nomore: we’re not talking about my Tragic Backstory rn ok

 

nomore: i hate that u even know

 

mrstricklander: You need to just take a shower and get some rest or something to lower your stress levels because I can feel the anxiety radiating off you through the phone.

 

nomore: i’m going to kill u and then myself

 

mrstricklander: I’m going to show these messages to Barbara in a second here

 

nomore: u think she’s gonna save u

 

mrstricklander: She might have to save you.

 

nomore: fine i will take a show and go to sleep

 

nomore: ur not telling the Trollhunter’s mother my Tragic Backstory or I will end your life and I am not joking.

 

mrstricklander: I won’t tell anyone you’re ‘tragic backstory’, but all things reveal themselves in due time.

 

nomore: quit being so cryptic oh my god

 

nomore: You’re so annoying i don’t even know why I keep ur number in my phone

 

nomore: & before u say anything i am going to take a shower now leave me alone

 

mrstricklander: Gladly.

Chapter Text

 

pepperbuddy sent a message to weird concoction

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June 5, 2018

6:19pm

 

pepperbuddy: GUYS I REALIZED WHAT WAS PUTTING ME ON EDGE ABOUT THAT BATTLE OF THE BANDS GUY

 

clairebear: Douxie?

 

pepperbuddy: YEAH HIM

 

creepslayer: please tell me you’re not about to confess you have a crush on him

 

pepperbuddy: no way

 

pepperbuddy: ever since i first met him, i was getting this really strange vibe and i finally figured out why!!

 

trollj: yeah i was getting a strange vibe too

 

clairebear: i wasn’t even into him

 

trollj: but he was definitely into you

 

arcadiamascott: yeah, until you ordered your steak raw and dripping with blood at least

 

nomore: you did WHAT

 

clairebear: IT WAS MORGANA

 

clairebear: I WAS POSSESSED

 

clairebear: so anyway eli what’s up with Douxie?

 

pepperbuddy: his voice is the same as colin o’donoghue’s

 

pepperbuddy: or captain hook from the Cursed Show

 

creepslayer: oh you mean That buttsnack

 

pepperbuddy: exactly

 

clairebear: wait what’s so bad about him?

 

pepperbuddy: i don’t have time to go into all the details but his voice is exactly the same i swear to Blinky

 

dontblink: Why are we swearing to me?

 

trollj: why not

 

arcadiamascott: I’m going to check this out myself

 

tptobes: Can I come with?

 

arcadiamascott: Sure!

 

trollj: careful, tobes

 

arcadiamascott: chill out jim, douxie isn’t even my type

 

creepslayer: You’re sure it’s the same?

 

pepperbuddy: 100%

 

creepslayer: now he’s gonna set me on edge too

 

creepslayer: why did you do this to me eli

 

pepperbuddy: if i have to suffer so do the rest of you

 

nomore: my motto

 

creepslayer: well i’m the only one suffering as much as u

 

pepperbuddy: that’s the price of friendship i guess

 

creepslayer: worth it

 

clairebear: i think my gaydar is broken again guys

 

nomore: rip

 

nomore: how’d u fix it the first time i need to fix mine

 

clairebear: luck?

 

clairebear: idk

 

clairebear: maybe mine just works sometimes and doesn’t work others who knows

 

nomore: um where are darci and toby?

 

pepperbuddy: looking for sketchy band guy

 

clairebear: his name is douxie guys cmon ur better than this

 

creepslayer: no i’m not

 

tptobes: we’re looking for sketchy band guy

 

clairebear: toby srsly

 

nomore: i’m going to regret this but he’s at the museum

 

tptobes: THANKS NOMURA UR THE BEST

 

arcadiamascott: looks like we’re going to the museum

 

nomore: if u lure any goblins here i’m banning you all

 

tptobes: honestly fair

 

pepperbuddy: call us if there’s another gruesome

 

creepslayer: we’ll bring lots of flour

 

pepperbuddy: & ninja stars

 

tptobes: i have decided to not ask

 

creepslayer: the smart idea

 

nomore: you are not bringing ninja stars into my museum

 

pepperbuddy: of course not ms nomura i would never

 

trollj: it’s. not even ur museum?

 

nomore: it’s under my protection

 

trollj: ok that’s probably true

 

theokaychangeling: “probably”

 

nomore: it’s chill i get it troll jim has trust issues

 

trollj: ur darn frickin right i do

 

nomore: and u know what? they’re frickin valid too

 

trollj: thx 4 the validation

 

nomore: anytime little gynt

 

tptobes: ok we’re at the museum, where is sketchy band guy?

 

nomore: idk i just know he was here look around

 

nomore: i gotta go i’m not supposed to text on the job

 

trollj: how does she even still have a job there

 

theokaychangeling: a valid question she will probably never answer

Chapter Text

arcadiamascott sent a message to weird concoction

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June 5, 2018

7:12 pm

 

arcadiamascott: eli was right oh my god

 

arcadiamascott: their voices are exactly the same it’s kind of terrifying

 

pepperbuddy: i knew it!!

 

nomore: is it wrong to turn into my troll form in order to scare bratty children?

 

nomore: hypothetical question

 

dontblink: Yes, I do believe that would be considered wrong.

 

nomore: i hate my job.

 

nomore: actually, i just hate screaming children.

 

theokaychangeling: that’s valid.

 

clairebear: u r a screaming children

 

theokaychangeling: that’s also valid.

 

clairebear: god how far away even is new jersey

 

trollj: too far

 

clairebear: too bad we couldnt take a plane

 

clairebear: well i could have

 

clairebear: but none of the rest of y’all could

 

theokaychangeling: wait u know that cradle crystal thing that is holding all the familiars

 

nomore: i’m sorry the WHAT

 

theokaychangeling: what’s gonna happen to all those babies

 

trollj: WHERE’D YOU PUT THIS CRYSTAL

 

theokaychangeling: i gave to to ur mom

 

trollj: YOU DID W HAT

 

theokaychangeling: i handed it to ur mom & strickler and said “here’s 1,000 babies have fun” and then ran

 

trollj: oh my go d u can’t DO that

 

clairebear: jim vs notenrique who will win place your bets now

 

trollj: i can’t believe u gave it to my mom

 

trollj: more importantly, i can’t believe you gave it to my mom AND STRICKLER

 

theokaychangeling: sorry i didn’t realize they were ur notp :/

 

trollj: claire stop teaching ur brother internet slang

 

clairebear: no.

 

trollj: betrayal

 

theokaychangeling: anyway once nomura’s familiar is released, she’s gonna be out of a job

 

nomore: i need to support myself..

 

nomore: i can’t end up like notenrique!

 

theokaychangeling: Hey!

 

nomore: jim i’m going to visit your mother after work today

 

trollj: at least i know u won’t fall in love with her

 

nomore: i’m going to accept that as ur blessing thx

 

trollj: sure thing

 

nomore: we’re going to figure out what to do with all those children notenrique just,, HANDED her with 0 explanation

 

trollj: u can let otto’s familiar out first bc we know changeling otto is dead

 

nomore: noted

 

trollj: except his full name is probably ottolomew or something like that

 

nomore: lol

 

pepperbuddy: ottolomew

 

trollj: i mean, strickler’s full name is waltolomew so who knows

 

creepslayer: STRICKLER’S NAME IS WALTOLOMEW?

 

trollj: yeah

 

nomore: it’s unfortunate

 

nomore: for him, not me, i think about that when i need to make myself laugh

 

creepslayer: i’m laughing so hard what kind of name is waltolomew

 

trollj: a good question

 

clairebear: according to behindthename.com waltolomew isn’t even a real name sfdskjsldfa

 

creepslayer: i believe it

 

pepperbuddy: but if waltolomew isn’t a real name, that means it isn’t actually mr. strickler’s name…

 

nomore: strickler has been using a fake name the whole time: a conspiracy theory thread

 

trollj: no but the nameplate of his familiar said Waltolomew on it

 

trollj: i saw it with my own eyes

 

clairebear: yeah but u were in the darklands, so it was dark, so how can we really trust your own eyes?

 

nomore: also that nameplate could have been a lie i mean is it really that hard to believe?

 

trollj: …..

 

trollj: what is strickler’s real name when will the lies stop

 

trollj: TOBY TOBY ASK BLINKY’S BROTHER THIS IS IMPORTANT

 

tptobes: dude he doesn’t even talk to me he only talks to my nana

 

trollj: well tell your nana to ask blinky’s brother what mr. waltolomew’s real name is

 

tptobes: i will try but this is not going to work

 

trollj: thx ur the best

 

nomore: oh my god someone tell your parents to Stop

 

trollj: what what are they doing

 

nomore: SOMOENE MSDE A GROUP CHTA

 

clairebear: sorry

 

nomore: ugh ok this is horrible

 

nomore: who the hell added the coach from ur school what does he have to do with any of this

 

trollj: probably nothing! who knows! not me! not any of us!

 

clairebear: could u literally be any more obvious

 

trollj: I HAVE TO LEAVE NOW BYE

 

nomore: they don’t know i’m in a group chat with u guys so i can feed u information like a spy

 

tptobes: cool beans

 

clairebear: But what if you end up feeding them information about us?

 

theokaychangeling: the girl has a point

 

nomore: guess you’ll just have to trust me

 

argh: oh no

 

nomore: i’m spilling all of aaarrrgghh’s secrets to ur parents brb

 

argh: what secrets?

 

tptobes: she’s joking, don’t worry

 

nomore: hey blinkous i’m adding you to the Adult Group Chat

 

nomore: where we talk about Adult Things

 

nomore: like romeo and juliet apparently do any of ur parents have lives?

 

tptobes: no.

 

clairebear: i love romeo and juliet

 

trollj: toby

 

tptobes: i’m fine

 

trollj: liar

 

trollj: i’m texting u on a separate chat

 

tptobes: no stop

 

trollj: too late no turning back now

 

tptobes: bye guys i’m being punished by my father

 

nomore: guess i should add jim to the parent group chat too

 

trollj: please Do Not

 

nomore: fine



Chapter Text

June 5, 2018

7:42pm

 

councilwomannunez sent a message to  nomore , mrstricklander , tobysnana , javiernunez , and msbarbaralake

tap to view

 

councilwomannunez: I’m creating this chat so we have an easy way to contact one another with information about our children that they may only send to one of us. Am I missing anyone?

 

nomore named the group mayhem

 

msbarbaralake: We should probably add Darci’s dad.

 

mrstricklander added officerscott and itsthecoach

 

nomore: Am I allowed to ask why I’m here?

 

mrstricklander: No.

 

nomore: fight me

 

mrstricklander: ok i will

 

councilwomannunez: I did not create this group chat so we could have fights!

 

councilwomannunez: Ms. Nomura, I added you because Strickler wanted me to.

 

nomore: FIGHT ME WALTOLOMEW

 

mrstricklander: Gladly.

 

msbarbaralake: You two need to stop.

 

mrstricklander: Of course, we’ll stop

 

nomore: fine

 

councilwomannunez: So, has anyone gotten messages from the kids recently?

 

mrstricklander: I think Nomura saw Toby and Darci the other day

 

officerscott: Doing what, may I ask?

 

nomore: (@ stricklander fight me)

 

nomore: They were on a date at the museum I work at. They found the pottery exhibit fascinating. I was happy to give them extra information on all of the pieces they liked most!

 

officerscott: Okay

 

officerscott: That’s nice, I guess

 

msbarbaralake: Last I heard from Jim, they were in Missouri. Claire went to a bookstore and bought a new copy of Romeo and Juliet because she didn’t bring her old copy with her.

 

javiernunez: I knew we forgot to pack something!

 

councilwomannunez: I’m glad she’s still interested in literature.

 

javiernunez: As am I, of course.

 

nomore: hope you guys don’t mind if i add Blinky to the conversation

 

councilwomannunez: What a great idea! I would have added him, but I didn’t have his contact information.

 

nomore added dontblink

 

nomore: Welcome Blinky, now you’re one of the Adults

 

dontblink: Well, Jim did imply I was his adoptive father the other day…

 

nomore: ok that’s enough please shut your mouth before i kick you out of this chat.

 

dontblink: I’m unsure how ‘shutting my mouth’ would hinder my ability to type?

 

nomore: Blocked.

 

officerscott: Ms. Nomura, you text in the same way Darci does sometimes

 

nomore: I like to keep up on all of the current internet slang

 

nomore: And no, I will not teach you; slang cannot be taught, it must be picked up over time or it will be unnatural

 

javiernunez: But it always seems to be changing so much!

 

nomore: that’s why it can’t be taught

 

nomore: By the time you are able to master one word, the rules for that word will have changed entirely

 

dontblink: That does seem to be true with Master Jim and Claire. I don’t understand their language sometimes. It can be more confusing than regular Human!

 

councilwomannunez: You mean English?

 

dontblink: Isn’t that a class in our children’s high school?

 

councilwoman: English is the language we’re speaking, Mr. Blinky. There are many different human languages.

 

donttblink: there’s what

 

nomore: blinky dropped the grammar rules somethin’s goin DOWN

 

nomore: Also, Blinky, I know Jim and Claire and all the other kids told you about their horrible Spanish class with ‘Uhl the Unforgiving’ as you call him.

 

dontblink: SPANISH IS ANOTHER LANGUAGE?! No wonder it was so difficult for the kids to master!

 

councilwomannunez: It’s only so difficult because we don’t start foreign language classes until high school…

 

itsthecoach: Uhl the Unforgiving? Really?

 

itsthecoach: Maybe he wouldn’t seem so unforgiving if those kids didn’t miss so much school. Jim especially

 

dontblink: Ah yes, Coach Lawrence the Complicated.

 

nomore: complicated?

 

dontblink: I don’t understand what he teaches. One day, he is forcing our children to run around a field, and the next day, he is assigning them a bag of flour to care for! What class is that?

 

itsthecoach: You know Jim and Claire, don’t you?

 

dontblink: Yes, of course.

 

itsthecoach: Do you happen to know what happened to Jim and Claire’s bag of flour? Claire’s a good student who has never failed an assignment in her life apart from that assignment.

 

itsthecoach: Steve and Eli’s as well, for that matter. Steve, I get, but not Eli.

 

nomore: oh my god they were actually partners

 

dontblink: Ah yes, I have heard the argument between Jim and Claire several times now. Jim blew up their bag of flour.

 

msbarbaralake: he WHAT

 

dontblink: I gave them a dwarkstone to deal with the Gruesome, but I’m afraid Master Jim set it off while the bag of flour was still in the room with him. On the bright side, it informed us that flour is deadly to Gruesomes! A new discovery was made that day.

 

councilwomannunez: So you’re telling me Claire got an F on the assignment because of Jim?! She told me it was her fault!

 

msbarbaralake: YOU GAVE MY SON A BOMB?!

 

dontblink: Not a bomb, a dwarkstone.

 

nomore: which is basically a troll bomb 

 

msbarbaralake: BLINKY YOU CAN’T GIVE BOMBS TO CHILDREN

 

dontblink: I have learned from my mistakes, I assure you. I no longer give dwarkstones to others and use them myself instead.

 

nomore: blinky stop talking

 

itsthecoach: Mr. Blinky, do you know if Eli is allergic to gluten?

 

dontblink: I don’t believe he is, he hasn’t ever mentioned an allergy to me.

 

itsthecoach: Then what happened to their bag of flour?

 

dontblink: I haven’t got a clue.

 

dontblink: Apparently neither one of them blew it up because they don’t argue about the assignment in the middle of the night when they’re supposed to be asleep causing the rest of us to have trouble sleeping. But I digress.

 

nomore: how would u know that ur in montana or smth

 

dontblink: We are in Missouri, actually. And I suppose I don’t know.

 

nomore: check and mate.

 

councilwomannunez: So Ms. Nomura, I take it you’ve heard about this infamous flour assignment from the kids?

 

mrstricklander: (check and mate, ms. nomura)

 

nomore: Actually, a fellow changeling told me about it, and he heard about it from Claire. I didn’t know Jim blew up he and Claire’s flour, though. I only knew they were partners and everyone in the class failed the assignment except for Toby and Darci.

 

councilwomannunez: What changeling? Do we know them?

 

nomore: UM

 

mrstricklander: You’ve probably seen him around.

 

nomore: Yeah, probably. But I doubt you would know him by name.

 

councilwomannunez: So they’re not actually a person I know? Is it one of the students?

 

nomore: Well. Um.

 

nomore: Oh, would you look at the time? My break is over! I would love to continue this conversation, but I don’t want to get fired. Sorry!

 

councilwomannunez: Mr. Strickler

 

mrstricklander: oh no

 

councilwomannunez: Would you care to explain why Ms. Nomura was being so evasive about this changeling who is apparently friends with my daughter?

 

mrstricklander: You do understand you can simply call her Nomura instead of Ms. Nomura?

 

councilwomannunez: That doesn’t answer my question.



nomore sent a message to weird concoction

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nomore: I ACCIDENTALLY THREW WALTOLOMEW UNDER THE BUS AND NOW HE HAS TO EXPLAIN ABOUT NOTENRIQUE 

 

clairebear: WHAT DID YOU DO

 

nomore: WELL TBF HE THREW ME UNDER THE BUS FIRST AND TRIED TO EXPOSE ME BEING IN THIS CHAT

 

clairebear: NOMURA WHAT DID U DO WHAT’S HAPPENING

 

theokaychangeling: add me to the chat

 

clairebear: NO DO NOT

 

clairebear: IS BLINKY IN THE CHAT STILL

 

clairebear: I’M NOT LETTING STRICKLER EXPLAIN THIS TO MY PARENTS

 

trollj: go steal blinky’s phone babe

 

theokaychangeling: claire add me to the chat

 

clairebear: NO WAY

 

tptobes: you gotta tell us how this whole thing goes down once it’s done

 

nomore: Claire, why won’t you just let Strickler take the fall?

 

clairebear: HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED MY PARENTS ARE GOING TO FLIP OUT

 

nomore: ugh that’s probably true









dontblink sent a message to  mayhem

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dontblink: Hey guys, it’s Claire. Blinky told me I should probably explain about my, um, changeling friend so Mr. Strickler didn’t butcher the story.

 

mrstrickler: I’m too grateful for not having to explain this to be offended by that.

 

councilwomannunez: Okay Claire, could you please explain to us what no one else seems to want to explain?

 

dontblink: Okay so please let me tell the whole story before you freak out.

 

msbarbaralake: This is worrying…

 

dontblink: Back before I knew about any of this Trollhunter stuff, Enrique got replaced by a changeling we call NotEnrique. The real Enrique was sent to the Darklands with all of the other changelings’ familiars and NotEnrique took his spot. Jim, Toby, and I found out he was a changeling, but we convinced him to betray the other changelings to help us. Jim ended up opening a portal to the Darklands so he could rescue the real Enrique, and long story short, he succeeded in bringing Enrique back from the Darklands. He was completely unharmed. With the real Enrique out of the Darklands, NotEnrique couldn’t switch into human form anymore, so he started living with the trolls and he’s with us right now. Sorry for not telling you sooner?

 

councilwomannunez: You’re telling me for every changeling out there, there’s a real version of them in the Darklands?

 

dontblink: Not anymore. The babies are all in the cradle crystal thing now…

 

msbarbaralake: Yes, you can thank your fake brother for that.

 

dontblink: I’m so sorry I didn’t know he gave it to you with no explanation and then left. I think Nomura was going to stop by and explain that to you after she gets done with work today. 

 

dontblink: She and NotEnrique were having a heated phone conversation about it earlier.

 

dontblink: :-)

 

dontblink: Okay, Blinky wants his phone back now, so bye!

 

councilwomannunez: Oh my God…

 

itsthecoach: So what, exactly, are Changelings?

 

mrstricklander: We can change between full troll and full human. We were created to serve Gunmar basically. But since Gunmar has been defeated, there will be no more Changelings and those who are left alive have no one left to serve. Bular is dead, Gunmar is dead, Angor Rot is dead, and Morgana is stuck in the shadow realm.

 

itsthecoach: So, theoretically, anyone born before the big battle could be a Changeling?

 

mrstricklander: Theoretically

 

itsthecoach: including eli…

 

mrstricklander: Elijah Pepperjack is not a changeling

 

itsthecoach: there’s something weird about that kid…

 

nomore: dude eli wouldn’t hurt a fly what is weird about him?

 

itsthecoach: I don’t know

 

nomore: oh my god

 

nomore: nvm i think i understand

 

itsthecoach: Really? Because I don’t.

 

nomore: Sorry, a changeling’s gotta keep her secrets

 

mrstricklander: That only applies to Nomura.

 

msbarbaralake: What a lie

 

mrstricklander: Okay I deserved that

 

msbarbaralake: I think Nomura is here, so I will talk to you all later!

 

councilwomannunez: Remember, text this chat if you get any news on our children!







nomore sent a message to clairebear and theokaychangeling

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nomore named the group gossip

 

nomore: Okay, so why would someone add the coach to the parent group chat? This is very important

 

theokaychangeling: yo u can quit the Proper Grammar in this chat

 

nomore: seriously tell me

 

clairebear: Why?

 

nomore: Does it have something to do with Steve?

 

clairebear: Why?

 

nomore: The coach thinks there’s ‘something weird’ about Eli, and I was thinking…

 

nomore: u remember how jim was saying douxie gave him a weird vibe bc he was into you?

 

clairebear: yes…

 

nomore: what if eli gives the coach a weird vibe bc he’s into steve???

 

nomore: ofc this would only work if the coach was steve’s dad or smth

 

nomore: But it also fits with the whole flour assignment partners becoming a couple thing claire was going on about

 

clairebear: omg

 

nomore: so what’s the coach’s deal?

 

clairebear: He’s dating Steve’s mom

 

clairebear: but DO NOT tell anyone I told you that. I’m only telling you because you have blessed us with this information.

 

nomore: got it

 

clairebear: notenrique i will kill u if u tell anyone

 

theokaychangeling: I already knew! I know all the good Arcadia gossip!

 

theokaychangeling: Anyway since we’re apparently shipping Steve and Eli now, doesn’t that mean they need a ship name?

 

clairebear: why did i even explain shipping to you

 

theokaychangeling: A good question

 

theokaychangeling: So far I have Eve, Eleve, that’s all

 

nomore: obviously it would be Steli u idiot

 

nomore: god ship names are NOT that hard to come up with

 

clairebear: u rock nomura

 

nomore: please tell me that wasn’t a pun

 

clairebear: It’s wasn’t supposed to be

 

nomore: good.

 

nomore: ok i’m gonna go try and figure out the cradle crystal with jim’s mom now so wish me luck

 

clairebear: Good luck!

 

clairebear: i can’t believe i was right about steve and eli looks like my gaydar isn’t actually broken at all





Chapter Text

nomore sent a message to weird concoction

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June 5, 2018
10:43 pm

 

nomore: QUICK WHAT’S THE NAME OF THE GUY ON THE $10 BILL?!

 

nomore: THIS IS IMPORTANT

 

nomore: IT’S NOT ALBERT EINSTEIN, IS IT

 

clairebear: dude

 

clairebear: It’s Alexander Hamilton

 

clairebear: the $10 founding father without a father

 

nomore: Oh yeah that guy Thanks!!

 

pepperbuddy: how do you forget about Alexander Hamilton? he’s literally got an entire musical dedicated to him!

 

clairebear: ikr

 

clairebear: NEW JRRSEY IS CLOSE TP NEW YORK CAN I GO SEE HMAILTON

 

trollj: aren’t tickets like $1000?

 

clairebear: worth it.

 

trollj: it’s really not,,

 

trollj: You don’t even have anyone to see it with!

 

clairebear: eli come to new york and see hamilton with me

 

pepperbuddy: Okay!!!

 

creepslayer: betrayal

 

creepslayer: you can’t leave me here

 

trollj: no worries steve u can still talk to dictatious

 

creepslayer: nope i’ll just go find those weird kids we ate tacos with that one day

 

clairebear: on the double date!!

 

tptobes: It wasn’t a double date!!

 

argh: bedtime.

 

dontblink: Aaarrrgghh is right. I think it’s time for you kids to go to bed.

 

nomore: not a kid

 

theokaychangeling: not your kid

 

trollj: ok dad

 

tptobes: goodnight every1

 

nomore: I’ll be up for another 4 hours if anyone needs me

 

argh: bad idea.

 

nomore: ur absolutely right but that’s not gonna stop me



tptobes sent a message to trollj , clairebear , and arcadiamascott

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June 6, 2018

1:38 pm

 

tptobes: AJKSFLJGFAJF GUY S

 

clairebear: WHAT

 

tptobes: UR NOT READY

 

clairebear: LAY IT ON ME TOBES WHAT HAPPENED

 

tptobes: I GOT TO SCHOOL EARLY THIS MORNING TO TURN IN A LATE ASSIGNMENT BEFORE CLASS STARTED

 

tptobes: AND I WAS AT MY LOCKER JUST GETTIN MY STUFF LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

 

tptobes: AND THEN I SEE STEVE PULL UP ON HIS VESPA

 

trollj: i’m confused about what the importance of this is

 

tptobes: HOLD UR HORSES JIMBO

 

trollj: ok

 

tptobes: ELI WAS ON THE VESPA WITH HIM

 

trollj: aren’t they like,, neighbors?

 

clairebear: And we all know they’re friends now

 

arcadiamascott: I feel like there’s probably more to this story

 

clairebear: don’t leave us hangin tp

 

tptobes: SO ELI GETS OFF THE VESPA AND

 

clairebear: oh my god they kissed

 

arcadiamacott: i knew it.

 

tptobes: NOT QUITE

 

trollj: they?? hugged??

 

tptobes: ELI WAS WEARING STEVE’S JACKET

 

tptobes: U KNOW

 

tptobes: HIS VARSITY JACKET

 

tptobes: WHICH IS THE OLDEST ROMANCE TROPE IN THE BOOK

 

clairebear: you know what else is a romance trope? raising a fake baby for health class together……

 

arcadiamascott: ur not wrong

 

tptobes: THE JACKET GUYS FOCUS ON THE JACKET

 

trollj: so what are they dating or not

 

tptobes: I DON’T KNOW

 

trollj: so what’s the point

 

clairebear: If you don’t appreciate this sleuthing, we’ll get someone in here who does!

 

trollj: I appreciate the sleuthing!!

 

clairebear: wait hold on can i add some ppl to the chat?

 

tptobes: depends

 

trollj: let’s add those weird kids

 

arcadiamascott: You can’t just keep calling Aja and Krel “those weird kids”

 

arcadiamascott: Imagine if they called you “that troll kid”

 

trollj: i would say “valid” and move on with my life

 

clairebear: I was actually talking about Nomura and NotEnrique

 

arcadiamascott: Why?

 

clairebear: Well, Nomura blessed me with some valuable information the other day, so I feel it’s only right to repay the kindness

 

tptobes: What information?

 

clairebear: [screenshot.jpg]

 

trollj: duuuude

 

clairebear: ikr

 

tptobes: ok add nomura

 

clairebear: What about NotEnrique?

 

tptobes: What does he have to offer?

 

clairebear: Fine, I’ll just add Nomura

 

clairebear added nomore

 

clairebear: yo Toby sent some juicy steli gossip

 

trollj: Steli?

 

tptobes: they have a ship name!!

 

trollj: ?

 

tptobes: You know, like Darby

 

tptobes: and Stricklake

 

trollj: How dare you mention something so sinful in this good Christian chat?

 

arcadiamacott named the group good christian chat

 

clairebear: kumbaya my lord kumbayaaaaaaaa

 

trollj: toby is snorting cheese ball dust in the background

 

tptobes: yes i am

 

nomore: dude that stuff is dangerous

 

arcadiamacott: you guys should be glad your father isn’t here to see this

 

arcadiamascott: I mean Blinky, not Jesus

 

arcadiamascott: Jesus sees all

 

nomore: for the last time blinky is NOT my dad! my dad died like 700 years ago!!

 

clairebear: ur dad died 100 years after your gaydar was broken?

 

nomore: yes he did

 

tptobes: nomura’s backstory has such a confusing timeline

 

trollj: kinda like that one fairytale show lol

 

tptobes: What show?

 

trollj: i mean what

 

trollj: SO ANYWAY did eli give steve his jacket back or does he still have it?

 

tptobes: he gave it back after they both got off the vespa :/

 

tptobes: then i RAN

 

tptobes: couldn’t risk them seeing me

 

arcadiamascott: I just remembered tomorrow’s the last day of school

 

tptobes: HECK YEAH

 

tptobes: CAN’T WAIT FOR SUMMER VACATION!!!!!!!!!!

 

trollj: wait… isn’t it like 1pm back in Arcadia?

 

clairebear: yeah aren’t you guys in school still?

 

tptobes: coach is basically done for the year so it’s like a free period

 

arcadiamascott: pretty much

 

clairebear: DUDES STEVE AND ELI ARE IN THAT CLASS WHAT R THEY DOING

 

tptobes: ignoring each other like they always do in school

 

clairebear: except when they both arrive on steve’s vespa apparently

 

tptobes: hey idk 

 

tptobes: steve basically just ignores everyone at school

 

arcadiamascott: it’s true

 

arcadiamascott: Like he stopped bullying ppl but then he didn’t like,, make any non-bully friends so? now he’s a loner kid and it’s weird

 

tptobes: but also there’s a day of school left so it’s not like making new friends for school is gonna matter right now

 

arcadiamascott: True

 

tptobes: WAIT

 

clairebear: WHAT’S HAPPENING

 

tptobes: STEVE AND ELI ARE TALKING

 

tptobes: I CAN’T HEAR WHAT THEY’RE SAYING BC THEY’RE WHISPERING AHHHHH

 

arcadiamascott: LFHLAKSJHFL COACH JUST CALLED OUT TOBY FOR LEANING OVER SO FAR IN HIS CHAIR HE ALMOST FELL OUT

 

tptobes: betrayal

 

arcadiamascott: sorry

 

arcadiamascott: don’t fall out of ur chair

 

tptobes: I WASN’T TRYING TO

 

clairebear: i wish i was there

 

tptobes: STEVE JUST THREW HIS JACKET AT ELI

 

trollj: why

 

tptobes: IDK

 

arcadiamascott: Eli’s blushing really bad

 

arcadiamascott: like his face looks like a tomato

 

tptobes: He tossed the jacket back to Steve

 

tptobes: HE RAISED HIS HAND AND LOOKED STEVE IN THE EYE AND ASKED TO MOVE SEATS

 

arcadiamascott: iconic

 

arcadiamascott: COACH SAID NO I’M DYING

 

clairebear: we don’t even have assigned seats in that class?

 

arcadiamascott: IKR THAT’S WHY IT’D SO FUNNH I CATN BREATHE

 

nomore: This is better than all of the movies I’ve watched recently

 

tptobes: [steli.jpg]

 

clairebear: why are their desks so close together

 

trollj: why are you being a stalker is the better question

 

nomore: You think that’s bad? You guys’ moms send screenshots of ur locations from find my iphone in the adult group chat

 

nomore: Well, Jim and Claire’s moms send screenshots, Darci’s dad sends screenshots, and I’m not entirely sure Toby’s nana even knows about the group chat

 

trollj: our parents are stalkers

 

trollj: Blinky would never treat me like this

 

clairebear: proof Blinky is the best dad

 

nomore: Blinky wouldn’t treat you like that because he doesn’t even know how find my iphone works

 

trollj: shhhh just let us have this

 

tptobes: Nooo this class is almost over :((((

 

tptobes: Never thought I’d say that about coach’s class…..

 

clairebear: ppl change on the last few days of school

 

clairebear: life seems worth living again so everyone is a bit more likeable

 

trollj: that is strangely accurate

 

tptobes: the bell’s gonna ring in like a minute so bye

 

clairebear: if anything else happens u gotta tell us as soon as u can

 

tptobes: i will i promise

Chapter Text

tptobes sent a message to good christian chat

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June 6, 2018

2:21 pm


tptobes: dudes i feel so sad rn


trollj: what happened?????


trollj: I will run all the way back to Arcadia to hug you just say the word


tptobes: It’s not me who needs a hug!


tptobes: I was talking to Eli in English today (bc we weren’t doing anything and Steve doesn’t have English with us) and,,


clairebear: i don’t believe eli was bullying you so this is probably not as sad as you want us to think it is


tptobes: IT’S NOT ME WHO NEEDS A HUG!!!!!


tptobes: Eli was sad about school ending and I was like “idk why you like school so much, isn’t it nice to have a break???”


tptobes: And he goes “well yeah but i never do anything over summer break! everyone else goes on vacations and hangs out with friends but i don’t have any friends to hang out with over summer and at least one of my moms usually has to work all summer long so we can’t go on any cool vacations either”


tptobes: AND NOW I’M SAD FOR ELI


trollj: if you want me to hug eli i will run all the way home just say the word


tptobes: I hugged him myself!


tptobes: And I told him he’s welcome to hang out with my any time he wants over summer break (unless I’m on a date with Darci)


arcadiamascott: You’re so sweet, Tobes!!


tptobes: I’m going to officially introduce him to AAARRRGGHH this evening and then I’m going over to his house for dinner


trollj: I’m so glad you’re making friends!! Look @ our little toby growing up :’)


clairebear: we love & support u tp!!!! go make new friends!!!!!


trollj: Be a good friend to Eli bc he deserves it!!!!


nomore: Is this like the Eli Protection Squad or something?


clairebear: it is now


clairebear named the chat Eli Protection Squad!!


tptobes: I really hope Eli doesn’t happen to glance at my phone and see a notification from this chat bc that would be WEIRD


clairebear: lol


arcadiamascott: Okay so I’m in Chemistry rn 


trollj: And?


arcadiamascott: I have Chemistry w Steve


tptobes: And???????


arcadiamascott: He just got a text from Eli


clairebear: And???????????????


arcadiamascott: I can’t read it! I’m not close enough!


arcadiamascott: Tobes ur with Eli right now see if you can see anything on his phone


tptobes: He went to the bathroom so the answer is no


arcadiamascott: ughhh well I’ll try and keep looking


nomore: I’m not sure who the worse stalkers are; you guys or your parents…








pepperbuddy sent a message to creepslayer


June 6, 2018

2:28 pm


pepperbuddy: I’m going home with Toby today to meet Aaarrrgghh sorry


creepslayer: that’s fine


pepperbuddy: We can hang out after school tomorrow?


creepslayer: Ok sounds good


pepperbuddy: Please don’t be upset, I felt really bad turning down his offer bc he was being so nice to me


creepslayer: I’m not upset I promise


creepslayer: ugh Darci looks like she’s trying to figure out who I’m texting


creepslayer: Send something weird and I’ll let her see it


pepperbuddy: I can’t come up with something weird to send on the spot!


pepperbuddy: This is too much pressure!!!!


creepslayer: w/e So Aaarrrgghh is the troll who lives at Toby’s house, right?


pepperbuddy: Well, one of them


pepperbuddy: I think Dictatious is still there too


creepslayer: Right, I forgot about him


pepperbuddy: I can ask if Toby’s alright with you coming over for dinner too?


creepslayer: you invited him over to dinner,, i feel betrayed,,


pepperbuddy: SORRY I’M WEAK WHEN PPL ARE NICE TO ME


pepperbuddy: I’M NOT USED TO HAVING FRIENDS


creepslayer: it’s fine idc


creepslayer: I’ll see you at school tomorrow


pepperbuddy: You sure?


creepslayer: Yeah


creepslayer: I just got a text from Coach anyway he wants me to stay late to help him organize equipment so he doesn’t have to come back and do it after the school year ends


pepperbuddy: Really?


creepslayer: Yes, really! I’m not making that up so you don’t feel bad, I promise!


pepperbuddy: Okay, okay


pepperbuddy: steve


creepslayer: What?


pepperbuddy: Do you still have my notebook that you STOLE from me?


creepslayer: oops yeah i put it in my locker


pepperbuddy: Can I get it before I leave after school?


pepperbuddy: It’s very important and I need it


creepslayer: For?


pepperbuddy: Important stuff!!!!


creepslayer: Fine meet me by my locker after school


pepperbuddy: Thanks!!!








tptobes sent a message to Eli Protection Squad

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June 6, 2018

2:45 pm


tptobes: IT’S SEVENTH HOUR WE ARE ALMOST DONE!!!!


arcadiamascott: ONE MORE CLASS AND THEN WE OFFICIALLY ONLY HAVE ONE DAY OF SCHOOL LEFT!!!


tptobes: OH YEAH!!!!!!


tptobes: Also I just got a text from Eli to meet him at Steve’s locker after school


clairebear: You’re not graffitiing it, are you?


tptobes: u REALLY think eli would let me graffiti steve’s locker?


tptobes: My guess is Eli needs to get something from Steve or tell Steve something idk


clairebear: He just wants to tell Steve bye probably


arcadiamascott: boyfriends


clairebear: exactly


tptobes: Well I will let you know after school gets out


trollj: quick question: how are you and eli getting to your house??? you probably rode your bike & eli rode to school w steve


tptobes: your mom is picking us up


trollj: wait like really or was that a joke


tptobes: Like really your mom is picking us up from school because her shifts at the hospital changed


trollj: oh


trollj: have fun ig


tptobes: Jim


trollj: Toby


tptobes: do u miss ur mom


trollj: you know i flipping do


tptobes: i’ll tell her you miss her dw


trollj: tell her i love her too


tptobes: ok i will


nomore: this just in: the Trollhunter is a giant softy


trollj: ur darn right i am


arcadiamascott: The bell is going to ring soon!!


tptobes: YESSS


tptobes: I’ll tell you all if anything else happens between Eli and Steve


nomore: And I’ll tell you if anything besides stalking you kids and heated debates about fast food restaurants happens in the Adult Chat


clairebear: And Jim and I will sit here waiting bc we’re so far away :((((((


trollj: rip us


trollj: have fun, tobes!!


clairebear: don’t stay out too late!!


trollj: don’t drink and drive!!


clairebear: don’t get possessed!!


trollj: don’t text and drive!!


clairebear: don’t blow up any children!!


trollj: THAT WAS ONE TIME


tptobes: alright thx mom and dad


tptobes: i’m headed to steve’s locker now to meet up with eli so i will text you all later


tptobes: peace out


clairebear: he better listen to all of our advice


trollj: that wasn’t advice that was rules


trollj: if he doesn’t follow them, he’s grounded


nomore: And how are you going to ground him from the middle of Montana?


trollj: I’ll kick him out of the group chat


arcadiamascott: harsh


trollj: alas, that is the burden of being a father








“Here.” Steve pulled Eli’s notebook out of his locker and handed it to the younger boy.


“Thanks!” Eli began putting the notebook into his backpack. “Sorry again about tonight. I just--”


“It’s fine, Eli, I already told you that,” Steve assured him. He closed his locker and placed a hand on Eli’s shoulder. “I know you really want to actually officially meet a troll, and this is your chance, so I’m not going to get mad at you for that.” Eli grinned up at Steve, and Steve couldn’t help but smile back. The moment didn’t last long, though, because Steve’s phone vibrated in his pocket and his smile faded. “Oh, shoot! I’m supposed to go help Coach!” Steve slung his backpack over his shoulder and began to walk away. “See you tomorrow!” He called after Eli as he ran back inside the school.


Eli was staring at the door Steve disappeared through until he heard Toby clear his throat behind him. Eli jumped a bit and turned to face Toby. “Oh! You’re here! Sorry, Steve stole my notebook and I had to get it back.”


“That’s fine. We’re gonna meet Jim’s mom by where I parked my bike this morning so we can put it in the back of her car and take it back to my house.”


Eli and Toby walked around to where the bike rack and Toby’s bike were. When they arrived, Barbara’s car was already there and she was standing outside of it. It looked like she was talking to someone in the passenger seat.


“I already loaded your bike up,” Barbara said when she saw Toby and Eli. “Also I forgot to mention I picked up Ms. Nomura before you because she’s going to be helping me with something and her apartment is on the way from the hospital to here.”


“That’s no problem!” Toby assured her. “Thanks for loading my bike!” He opened the door and climbed in, and Eli followed. Barbara got back in the car as well, and they were off to Toby’s house.








tptobes sent a message to weird concoction

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June 6, 2018

3:46 pm


tptobes: nomura why didn’t you mention this


nomore: um


nomore: Sorry?


arcadiamascott: Woah wait what’s happening?


tptobes: So Jim’s mom is taking Eli and I to my house and we get there and who is in the passenger seat? NOMURA


trollj: WHAT


nomore: THIS is why I didn’t say anything!


trollj: DOES MY MOM HAVE A THING FOR YOU TOO IS SHE JUST INTO CHANGELINGS OR WHAT


nomore: she’s got a better chance with strickler i mean 


nomore: romance is 100% not my thing


nomore: so she should go back to strickler


trollj: DO NOT EVER SAY THAT AGAIN


trollj: i would rather my mom date you than strickler 


trollj: 500%


pepperbuddy: um toby & miss nomura, i think jim’s mom is getting suspicious of you glaring at each other via rearview mirror so u might wanna stop


nomore: darn i was hoping she wouldn’t see


creepslayer: hey while you’re all here! Does anyone have a healthy relationship with their father?


trollj: lol


tptobes: my dad is dead


pepperbuddy: i have two moms and zero dads


trollj: does Blinky count as my dad?


nomore: i barely remember my dad


clairebear: I mean, I guess I do????


creepslayer: Great!


creepslayer: HOW


clairebear: I don’t know? He’s just like,, my dad?? He didn’t abandon me or die so?? I mean, we don’t have like a dream father-daughter relationship but he’s p chill most of the time


creepslayer: How do you talk to him


clairebear: Well currently, I mostly text him


creepslayer: No but like isn’t talking to him weird and awkward?????


creepslayer: Does he ever try to get you to admit you have a crush on someone????


clairebear: No, he doesn’t care much about my love life as long as I don’t get pregnant so


creepslayer: kdshlfadgsjf i’m gonna die guys bye


trollj: What’s up with him?


arcadiamascott: honestly who knows at this point


Chapter Text

theokaychangeling sent a message to weird concoction

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June 7, 2018

4:12 pm

 

theokaychangeling: barbura, lakemura, nolake, barbmura

 

theokaychangeling: anyone have a favorite?

 

trollj: blocked and reported.

 

nomore: hey this is aphobic thanks for coming to my tedtalk

 

theokaychangeling: hey it’s a platonic ship thanks for coming to my tedtalk

 

theokaychangeling: so anyway which one’s your favorite?

 

nomore: lakemura or barbmura

 

trollj: THIS IS BETRAYAL

 

creepslayer: barbmura

 

trollj: ok well that’s just steve being steve but NOMURA!

 

trollj: I TRUSTED YOU

 

nomore: What? As long as it’s platonic idc

 

trollj: NO! NO! NO!!!!!!!

 

trollj: CHANGELINGS NEED TO STAY! AWAY! FROM! MY! MOTHER!

 

trollj: SOMEONE TELL WALTOLOMEW I SAID THAT

 

nomore: he said “Tell him to say that to my face”

 

trollj: GIVE ME HIS NUMBER I’LL FACETIME HIM AND LOOK HIM IN THE EYE AND TELL HIM TO STAY! AWAY!

 

nomore: yeah i’m actually not gonna do that

 

trollj: betrayal

 

clairebear: Hey, aren’t Toby and them all out of school now?

 

trollj: Yeah I wonder why they haven’t said anything about it yet

 

clairebear: idk

 

trollj: The one good thing about being a troll? No more school.

 

trollj: I hate math

 

trollj: And Spanish

 

tptobes: LKDJHLAGH WE HAVE  A PROBLEM HERE GUYS

 

tptobes: I THINK AJA AND KREL ARE SUMMONING DEMOS

 

tptobes: DEMONS*

 

trollj: summoning demos

 

pepperbuddy: what if aja and krel ARE demons?!

 

creepslayer: PLEASE tell me we don’t have DEMONS living in Arcadia!

 

tptobes: IDK KREL TEXTED ME ADN KJLADJGACK I’M WORRY

 

pepperbuddy: Is it creepslaying time? :-)

 

tptobes: NO I THINK IT’S EXORCISM 2.0 TIME

 

pepperbuddy: so it’s creepslaying time :-)

 

tptobes: YES FINE IDC COME OBER TO MY HOUSE RIHGT NOW

 

pepperbuddy: We’re on our way!!!!!

 

trollj: Okay seriously? Those kids aren’t summoning demons

 

trollj: They’re probably just catching lightning in a jar again or smth

 

nomore: ...what

 

clairebear: yeah idk but I actually am a little worried rn

 

nomore: I should go make sure Toby’s okay

 

nomore: I mean, I’m at Jim’s house right now so it’s not that far away

 

trollj: STOP DOING THIS TO ME

 

dontblink: Perhaps instead of summoning demons, they are performing a changeling ritual?

 

nomore: ur implying they’re changelings?

 

theokaychangeling: I doubt it

 

nomore: Listen it’s probably just a big misunderstanding, okay? I’ll go check on Toby and make sure he’s okay

 

theokaychangeling: Nomura?

 

theokaychangeling: Nomura, it’s been five minutes

 

theokaychangeling: NOMURA!!!

 

nomore: we’re driving to find aja and krel i think they’re summoning a demon

 

clairebear: we never should’ve left arcadia they need us

 

trollj: No, they have Nomura, Toby, Aaarrrgghh, and the Creepslayerz

 

arcadiamascott: Okay so all I need to know is am I going to die????

 

nomore: Probably not

 

arcadiamascott: cool make sure someone nice gets to be the next mascot










Eli was the first one out of the car, followed closely by Toby. Aja and Krel were staring very intently at something emitting a light that illuminated their faces.

 

“What did you guys do?!” Toby shouted.

 

“It was all Aja’s idea!” Krel pointed at his sister.

 

Eli peered over Toby’s shoulder. “That doesn’t look much like a demon.” It was what looked to be a glowing, blue, orb. It looked more like light magic than a possible demon. “Why did Toby think it was a demon?”

 

“They-- they said they used a…” Toby’s voice trailed off as he tried to think of the word, “a thing you use to summon evil spirits!”

 

Eli frowned. He stepped in front of Toby so he could get a better look. He knelt down in the grass, studying it. “Usually, I’d say it’s probably alien. But now I think it looks more troll-like.”

 

“Step aside.”

 

While Toby and Eli were busy talking to Aja and Krel, Nomura had transformed into her troll form. The sun was below the horizon now, so that wasn’t a concern. The four kids listened to her immediately. They moved out of the way. Nomura didn’t even have to draw her swords, which she found almost disappointing.

 

Nomura went to kneel, but before she could do much observing, a shout interrupted her.

 

“What’s he doing here?!”

 

Nomura looked back to see…

 

“Merlin?”

 

“Move out of the way,” he ordered.

 

“Why?” Nomura challenged. She reached one hand back until it was resting on the hilt of a sword.

 

“That’s dangerous.”

 

“What is it?”

 

Merlin didn’t answer. Nomura drew her sword and pointed it towards him. “What is it?” She asked again.

 

“Who summoned it?” No one answered, but several people glanced towards Aja and Krel, and that was all Merlin needed. “To summon something such as this takes enormous amounts of energy few on this planet have access to. I would say it’s almost impossible without magic.”

 

“What is it?” Nomura questioned once more, though she doubted Merlin would give her a straight answer.

 

“It is…” Merlin hesitated, “an essence. A dangerous one.”

 

“An essence?” Toby asked. “Of what?”

 

Merlin shifted his weight. He folded his hands together. “One of Morgana’s servants, most likely.”

 

Nomura narrowed her eyes. “Morgana didn’t have any servants. The closest thing she had was Claire, who bested her when even you couldn’t. So if this thing is dangerous, tell us exactly what it is so we can protect Arcadia from it.”

 

“Changelings aren’t supposed to be soft.” Merlin tutted. “Sounds like you’re broken to me.”

 

Nomura pulled her other sword and lunged towards Merlin. 

 

Toby and Eli jumped back towards the light and away from Merlin and Nomura. Krel and Aja looked at each other uneasily. Steve and Barbara were still near the car, far enough away to be safe for the moment.

 

“What are we supposed to do?” Eli asked.

 

Toby shrugged. “I feel like we should break up the fight, but also, maybe if Nomura wins, Merlin will tell us what’s actually going on?”

 

Eli shrugged. 

 

The fight didn’t last long. Nomura and Merlin ended up just circling around each other, waiting for someone to make another move.

 

“What is the light?” Nomura growled.

 

“It’s none of your concern.”

 

“We need to figure it out ourselves, at least partially,” Eli said suddenly. He pulled Toby closer to Aja and Krel. “If we guess at least partially correctly, Merlin will react. So how did you summon this thing?”

 

“We were messing around with this,” Aja held up an old looking book. “It looked like one of those cool spell books you see in movies, so I was pretending it was actual magic and then it was . We did the whole ritual and everything. Wait, sorry, not ritual in a bad way. There was no blood sacrifice, I promise. It was just like, lightning candles and stuff.”

 

“Which spell did you try?” Eli took the book from Aja and began flipping through the pages.

 

“Um… I don’t remember what it was called.”

 

“Probably something in Latin,” Eli muttered. He stopped on a page and showed it to Aja. “This one?”

 

“Yes!” Aja and Krel exclaimed in unison.

 

“Oh boy.” Eli ran a hand through his hair and looked down at the book. “Toby, do you have your phone on you? Mine’s in the car.”

 

“Yeah, one sec.” Toby pulled his phone out and turned the flashlight on so Eli could look at the book better.

 

“My Latin is a little rusty, but if I’m not mistaken, this is a spell to summon a spirit of one recently lost. Except… It should appear looking like the person - or troll, I guess - you’re trying to talk to. This spell is acting weird for some reason.” Eli looked around at where they were. “Something strange must have happened here…”

 

“So what, it’s a soul?” Toby asked.

 

“I think so.” Eli crept closer to the light. “Can you hear me?” When it didn’t respond, he glanced back towards Aja and Krel, “Did you finish the spell?”

 

Aja nodded.

 

“Hmmm…” Eli looked back at the light, then down to the book. He flipped to the next page, which was blank. Unless…

 

Eli dropped the book, jumped up, and rushed back towards the car, ignoring Nomura and Merlin’s now silent feud. Eli grabbed his backpack out of the back seat, then grabbed Steve’s arm and drug him back over to the group.

 

“What are you doing?” Steve asked as Eli let go of his arm. 

 

Eli handed Steve the book. “Hold this.” He then began digging through his backpack until he pulled out a pen. He pointed one end towards the book and pressed a button, causing the pen to light up. The light caused writings to be visible on what had previously been a blank page.

 

Eli’s eyes widened as he read it. “This is… I don’t know. Okay, okay, I’m going to read it and pray that it doesn’t make things worse.” Eli began to read the incantation.

 

When Merlin heard Eli, he dropped the staring contest with Nomura and ran towards the kids. But Nomura was ready. She blocked him, and the two  were locked in combat once more. As Eli continued to read, the light began to glow brighter.

 

One of Nomura’s swords skidded across the ground, towards Barbara, who picked it up. Nomura disarmed Merlin shortly after, and pressed her sword against his throat. He tried to back up, but was stopped by Barbara.

 

“What is that thing?” Nomura asked, pressed her sword harder against the wizard.

 

“It’s part of a soul!” Merlin finally gave in. “And that boy is summoning the rest of it!”

 

“Part of a soul?” Nomura questioned.

 

Merlin nodded as much as he could with a sword against his neck. “Someone was either possessed or had part of their soul sucked from them in another way here. Someone who is now dead. And it needs to stay that way!”

 

“Who had their soul sucked from them?” Barbara asked Nomura, raising an eyebrow. Nomura shrugged.

 

“Kids,” Nomura called, “did someone have their soul sucked out of their body before they died?”

 

“Not that I recall,” Toby said. “Wait--” He looked at Nomura. “What about the Decimaar blade? Would that be having your soul sucked out?”

 

Nomura nodded slowly. “I would assume so, yes.” She looked at Merlin. “Is that what this is? Someone who was touched by the Decimaar blade?”

 

“Perhaps. But they must have died far away-- Oh.” Merlin’s eyes widened. “ Oh.

 

“What is it?” Nomura pressed harder.

 

“Someone who died far away?” Toby asked. “You don’t mean--”

 

Eli finished the incantation and the light erupted from the orb. When the brightness had faded enough to look at it, the light had begun to take the shape of a troll. But it didn’t stop at light; it solidified until a living troll was standing before them.

 

“Oh my God,” Nomura muttered. She lowered her arm and her sword slipped out of her hand.

 

“Where am I?” the troll asked.

 

“You’re in Arcadia,” Toby replied hesitantly. “Do you remember…?”

 

“I remember falling. And then… nothing. Until now.”

 

Toby nodded slowly.

 

“Who is this?” Aja asked in a hushed voice.

 

“This is Draal," Toby said. "He’s a friend.”

 

Chapter Text

June 7, 2018

9:45 pm

 

tptobes sent a message to weird concoction

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tptobes: So

 

tptobes: Aja and Krel did not summon a demon

 

tptobes: But Eli helped them raise the dead

 

trollj: I’m concerned

 

clairebear: wait what

 

tptobes added draalthedecent

 

tptobes: So Darci, how was your first night of summer vacation?

 

trollj: WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO

 

pepperbuddy: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

 

clairebear: AN ACCIDENT?!

 

trollj: DOESN’T LIKE ALL MAGIC COME WITH A PRICE OR SOMETHING???? THIS IS ALWAYS A BAD IDEA IN EVERY TV SHOW EVER!!!!!!!

 

pepperbuddy: unless ur name is killian

 

trollj: lol ur not wrong

 

trollj: BUT IT’S NOT SO??? WHY!!!!!!

 

pepperbuddy: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!!!

 

pepperbuddy: I’M NOT VERY GOOD AT READING LATIN

 

nomore: anyway last night was interesting who wants to find a bar to go to

 

clairebear: wrong chat nomura go find a drinking buddy in the chat with people who can actually legally drink alcohol

 

theokaychangeling: Wait, so is he actually back from the dead?

 

draalthedecent: Yes

 

trollj: OH MY GOD DRAAL

 

trollj: I’VE MISSED YOU

 

trollj: YOU’RE BACK

 

trollj: YOU CAN BE THE TROLL UNCLE

 

clairebear: i thought dictatious was the troll uncle?

 

tptobes: he’s the evil troll uncle; draal can be the nice troll uncle

 

clairebear: right so blinky and aaarrrgghh are the troll dads, dictatious is the evil troll uncle, draal is the nice troll uncle, and nomura is the vodka changeling aunt

 

clairebear: and notenrique is the changeling brother

 

nomore: Yeah sounds about right

 

draalthedecent: I’m confused

 

clairebear: We’re one big family now

 

trollj: Welcome

 

draalthedecent: Why is Jim’s username trollj?

 

trollj: Well it was smallj but then everyone was like “you’re not small!! you’re super tall now!!” so i changed it

 

trollj: Also I’m half troll now

 

draalthedecent: what

 

trollj: Merlin gave me a weird concoction and told me to take a bath in it

 

tptobes: (that’s also where we got the chat name from)

 

draalthedecent: And you just… listened?

 

trollj: Well he was like “DO THIS IF YOU WANT TO DEFEAT GUNMAR AND SAVE EVERYONE YOU’VE EVER KNOWN FROM DEATH!!!!” so i was like “well when u put it like that i guess i don’t have a choice”

 

draalthedecent: So Jim becomes half troll and I don’t even get to see him?

 

draalthedecent: Don’t I have any rights as the troll uncle?

 

argh: no.

 

draalthedecent: hm

 

pepperbuddy: We should add Aja and Krel to this chat!!

 

tptobes: they can be the alien cousins

 

pepperbuddy: Exactly!!

 

creepslayer: they’re not aliens,,

 

pepperbuddy: yes they are steve stop being so mean

 

draalthedecent: Do I know these children?

 

trollj: I don’t think so

 

trollj: creepslayer is Steve, pepperbuddy is Eli

 

trollj: also arcadiamascott is somewhere and that’s darci, toby’s gf

 

trollj: They all go to school with us

 

trollj: Well, I don’t go to school anymore but you get the point

 

draalthedecent: Okay

 

clairebear: we recently adopted them :-)

 

draalthedecent: Okay

 

draalthedecent: So how does being a family work with the relationships???

 

trollj: We need to make an official family tree…

 

clairebear: Jim is Blinky’s son and I am his gf, Toby is Aaarrrgghh’s son and Darci is his gf

 

clairebear: then Blinky and Aaarrrgghh got married and adopted Eli and Steve is his bf

 

creepslayer: I’m not

 

dontblink: AAARRRGGHH and I are not married?

 

clairebear: it’s fake guys just go with it

 

clairebear: Dictatious is Blinky’s brother (that’s actually real), Draal is Aaarrrgghh’s brother, Nomura is actually NotEnrique’s aunt but we just go with her being our aunt

 

argh: nomura and draal?

 

nomore: oooh yeah let’s add more drama to the story!! Draal and I were married and then we got a divorce but I still hang out with you guys bc you like me better than your uncles

 

trollj: cool beans

 

theokaychangeling: is this,, an au for our lives?

 

clairebear: Yes.

 

nomore: WAIT!

 

nomore: How does Waltolomew fit into this? 

 

trollj: the grumpy grandpa twice removed

 

arcadiamascott: Can grandparents even be ‘removed’?

 

trollj: He’s twice removed bc we’ve disowned him twice

 

nomore: i approve

 

nomore: am i allowed to tell him this

 

trollj: yeah and while you’re at it give me his number so i can facetime him and tell him to STAY AWAY FROM MY MOTHER

 

trollj: WHILE LOOKING HIM IN THE EYE

 

trollj: wait

 

trollj: draal is in arcadia

 

trollj: DRAAL I NEED YOU TO PROTECT MY MOTHER NOW

 

draalthedecent: i will give my life for her

 

trollj: PLEASE DON’T DIE AGAIN

 

trollj: i just need you to keep strickler away from her

 

draalthedecent: i can do that

 

draalthedecent: what about Nomura?

 

trollj: She’s fine

 

trollj: For now.

 

nomore: For the last time, I’M NOT TRYING TO GET WITH UR MOM

 

draalthedecent: yeah she’s definitely not

 

trollj: yeah ik but she might do something else sketchy

 

trollj: friends can break ur heart too draal

 

draalthedecent: that is true

 

draalthedecent: i will protect your mother from stricklander

 

draalthedecent: do you want me to kill him?

 

nomore: YOU CAN’T KILL WALTOLOMEW

 

tptobes: yeah then he’d be the grandpa THRICE removed; twice we disowned him and once he died

 

nomore: We can’t kill ppl ok we are the good guys

 

draalthedecent: well isn’t that great coming from you

 

nomore: i’m not the only one who tried to kill the trollhunter here so don’t act like i am

 

tptobes: I know you two are divorced and all, but can’t we at least TRY to get along?

 

nomore: no.

 

dontblink: Ms. Nomura, you are supposed to be a mature adult. That is why you are in the group chat with the parents.

 

nomore: blinky we’ve discussed this, i’m the vodka aunt, i can act however i want

 

draalthedecent: So do I kill Strickler or not?

 

trollj: nah you can let him live

 

trollj: really just stop him from making any moves towards my mom

 

nomore: pfft as if draal’s gonna know when that happens

 

draalthedecent: oh, and you would?

 

nomore: better than you

 

draalthedecent: yeah bc your tragic backstory made it sound like you know sooooo much about human romance

 

nomore: it’s not about humans; it’s about a changeling! and who knows changeling culture better than another changeling?

 

tptobes: Wait, Draal knows Nomura’s Tragic Backstory? No fair!

 

trollj: So who all knows Nomura’s Tragic Backstory?

 

nomore: draal

 

draalthedecent: and waltolomew, as you call him

 

trollj: WHAT

 

nomore: I DIDN’T EXACTLY HAVE A CHOICE

 

nomore: CIRCUMSTANCES WERE ROUGH OKAY

 

nomore: Waltolomew only knows bc I needed him to know in order for me to stay alive basically

 

nomore: draal knows bc he was a level ∞ friend at one point

 

draalthedecent: what level friend am i now?

 

nomore: 2

 

trollj: oof

 

tptobes: ouch

 

clairebear: that means we’re all higher bc the rest of us are at least level 10

 

nomore: yep

 

draalthedecent: wow

 

nomore: sorry

 

draalthedecent: no it’s fine, i deserve it

 

draalthedecent: Out of curiosity, what level is Stricklander?

 

nomore: -∞

 

draalthedecent: that makes me feel better

 

trollj: HOLD UP

 

trollj: what level of friends are you with my mom?

 

nomore: idk probably like a 7

 

trollj: ok

 

trollj: let’s not let that raise too high


nomore: okay whatever

Chapter Text

June 8, 2018

10:20 am

 

draalthedecent sent a message to weird concoction

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draalthedecent: In an interesting turn of events, it appears Nomura was right

 

nomore: of course i was!

 

nomore: Wait, about what?

 

draalthedecent: I have no idea about human romance. At all. All I know is they ‘kiss’ which is weird. I don’t get it.

 

nomore: ur not alone

 

nomore: But also let me guess Waltolomew is dating Jim’s mom again?

 

trollj: DRAAL I TRUSTED YOU

 

draalthedecent: No! I’m just afraid Stricklander is definitely interested in pursuing that

 

draalthedecent: Like, right now

 

draalthedecent: He came over to the house but he didn’t know I was here

 

draalthedecent: It made for an interesting morning

 

nomore: Wait Waltolomew didn’t know you were alive again, did he?

 

draalthedecent: No he did not

 

trollj: JSAHKFGH PLEASE TELL ME YOU GOT A VIDEO OF HIS REACTION

 

draalthedecent: Unfortunately, no

 

nomore: jim pls say ur mom has security cameras in the house

 

trollj: unfortunately, no :/

 

clairebear: darn

 

draalthedecent: Anyways, if I’m picking up on Human Flirting correctly, I believe Jim’s mother is not as interested in Stricklander as he is in her.

 

trollj: thank goodness

 

nomore: yo draal can i come over and help crash the date

 

draalthedecent: Yes

 

dontblink: I’m not sure this is a good idea...

 

nomore: Well either I crash the date even more or it turns into a double date so we’ll see

 

trollj: wait

 

trollj: a double date with who dating who

 

trollj: nomura u dont even date ppl

 

nomore: neither does draal

 

trollj: what

 

clairebear: i’m pretty sure i heard you guys literally dated each other

 

draalthedecent: It was a mistake

 

nomore: rude.

 

nomore: but eh it’s true

 

nomore: We weren’t into the whole romance aspect of it though so I’m not quite sure it could really be considered dating…

 

dontblink: Fun fact! The humans have an interesting term called queerplatonic relationships!

 

dontblink: I did some research myself after Claire came out to us and I’ve found it’s very interesting. Many of the human terms have troll counterparts, but that one did not.

 

nomore: cool but i’ve got a not-date to crash so i’ll have to check on it later

 

draalthedecent: You can detect Human Flirting, right?

 

nomore: no

 

draalthedecent: then what are u even coming over for

 

nomore: I’ll just flirt with Jim’s mom myself

 

trollj: YOU CAN’T DO THAT

 

nomore: Why not? It took me decades to learn how to flirt! and now I can’t even put my skills to use?

 

nomore: smh

 

trollj: THIS IS WHY CHANGELINGS NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM MY MOTHER

 

nomore: that’s honestly fair

 

nomore: Okay, fine, no flirting

 

nomore: We need to use my very extensive knowledge of Human Flirting to make sure Stricklander isn’t flirting, though

 

draalthedecent: “very extensive”

 

nomore: more extensive than urs

 

draalthedecent: That’s true

 

trollj: is there anyone there who knows anything about romance to stop strickler from getting with my mom AGAIN?!

 

draalthedecent: We can call Aaarrrgghh?

 

argh: won’t work.

 

argh: argh aromantic. like nomura.

 

nomore: cool! we are a bunch of useless aros!

 

nomore: We’re gonna have to rely on help from CHILDREN

 

dontblink: I would offer my help, but I believe myself to be on the aromantic spectrum as well.

 

nomore: kdsfgjlas where’s an alignment chart for the aros

 

nomore: disaster / functional / distinguished

 

theokaychangeling: If I may

 

theokaychangeling: Nomura is a disaster aro, Aaarrrgghh and Draal are functional aros (though Draal is on the line between functional and disaster sometimes), and Blinky is a distinguished aro

 

theokaychangeling: Bonus! Claire is a distinguished bi, Jim is a disaster, Eli is a disaster gay, Toby is a functional pan

 

tptobes: i do love being a usable kitchen utensil

 

trollj: I’m a disaster what????

 

theokaychangeling: You’re just a disaster

 

trollj: fair ig

 

pepperbuddy: haha mine’s accurate

 

clairebear: you fit right in with the other disaster gays; Simon Spier and Elena Alvarez

 

pepperbuddy: i’m honored they’re my heroes

 

clairebear: ik i’m op but Mood

 

nomore: lhdgsfahlsd stricklander started a group chat with draal and i to tell us off for interrupting the date

 

nomore: I told him draal was there before him and therefore he was interrupting

 

trollj: ROAST HIM

 

clairebear: SLAY QUEEN








June 8, 2018

10:56 am

 

mrstricklander added nomore and draalthedecent

 

mrsticklander: Why are you two here? You’re interrupting.

 

nomore: technically draal was there before you so technically ur interrupting

 

mrstricklander: I don’t care about your technicalities, Nomura.

 

draalthedecent: Technically, she’s right

 

mrstricklander: I don’t care about your technicalities either.

 

mrstricklander: What are you two even hoping to accomplish?

 

draalthedecent: We’re helping the Trollhunter

 

mrstricklander: how

 

nomore: By protecting his mother

 

draalthedecent: Specifically from you

 

mrstricklander: And let me guess, Jim asked you to do this?

 

draalthedecent: He simply asked us to make sure you and his mother don’t engage in another romantic relationship

 

nomore: unfortunately we’re both useless aros so we have no idea what we’re doing

 

mrstricklander: good to know

 

draalthedecent: Though, even with my limited knowledge, I have to say I believe Jim’s mother is now more into Nomura than you

 

mrstrickalnder: What?

 

nomore: WHAT?!

 

draalthedecent: Ah, I’m not as much of a useless aro as you thought!

 

nomore: You’re making that up

 

draalthedecent: I don’t think I am

 

nomore: sjafgahldsgf WHAT DO I DO

 

mrstricklander: This is unfair! 

 

nomore: I’M GONNA GET BANNED FROM SEEING HER EVER AGAIN BC I ACCIDENTALLY BROKE HER HEART BY BEING AROMANTIC

 

draalthedecent: This is why you are the disaster aro

 

nomore: DRAAL HELP

 

draalthedecent: I don’t know what to do! I’m almost a disaster aro!

 

mrstricklander: You two really are useless.

 

nomore: yeah thanks we already covered that

 

nomore: Jim is going to run all the way back from Montana just to kill me

 

draalthedecent: On the bright side, he’ll probably kill Stricklander while he’s at it

 

mrstricklander: “the bright side”

 

nomore: shut up that definitely is a plus

 

nomore: CODE RED I THINK BARBARA IS COMING BACK FROM THE KITCHEN

 

mrstricklander: Oh good, we’ll all die before Jim gets back because he’s not here to cook anymore.

 

nomore: seriously shut up

 

draalthedecent: Stop texting, guys, she’s going to get suspicious

 

draalthedecent: And stop glaring at each other like you’re trying to kill each other with your eyes!

 

nomore: fine i’ll stare at barbara instead

 

draalthedecent: please don’t

 

draalthedecent: why are you two like this

 

Chapter Text

June 8, 2018

12:08 pm

 

mrstricklander sent a message to nomore , draalthedecent , argh , dontblink

 

mrstricklander: What are you four up to?

 

dontblink: I am currently leading the trolls to New Jersey in search of a new Heartstone.

 

mrstricklander: i MEAN what did Jim put you up to concerning his mother?

 

argh: nothing

 

nomore: we literally already told you

 

draalthedecent: The Trollhunter asked me to protect his mother by preventing you and her from being in a relationship. That is all we’re trying to accomplish

 

nomore: And by the tone of your text, I’d say we’re succeeding

 

mrstricklander: It appears Draal was right.

 

draalthedecent: Wait when?

 

mrstricklander: Considering I’m the only one here who knows anything about human romance, I suppose it’s my duty to inform you that I do agree, Barbara seems to be more into Nomura than me.

 

nomore: please tell me this is a joke

 

dontblink: So would that make Master Jim’s mother bi?

 

mrstricklander: I suppose so.

 

nomore: guys STOP

 

nomore: THIS IS A HUGE PROBLEM

 

argh: disaster aro

 

nomore: YES I AM

 

draalthedecent named the chat disaster aros + waltolomew

 

nomore: thx for that

 

draalthedecent: You’re welcome

 

dontblink: So let me get this straight

 

nomore: that’s not gonna happen

 

dontblink: Draal came back from the dead, and he’s currently at Master Jim’s house. The morning after he was revived, Stricklander came over to the house in order to speak with Barbara, though he most likely had an ulterior motive, which was to make romantic advances towards Barbara. He was surprised by Draal being there, though, because he didn’t know Draal had been raised from the dead. Then, Nomura heard Stricklander was at Master Jim’s house, so she decided to come over as well to help Draal crash the not-date, but they weren’t sure if it was working or not because they both know next to nothing about romance. Stricklander, however, does know some stuff about romance, and has picked up on the hints Barbara is dropping that she is over him and now has potential feelings for Nomura, who can’t reciprocate them because she is aromantic.

 

nomore: That about covers it

 

nomore: Anyway, this is a Problem

 

nomore: no one tell jim

 

mrstricklander: But why not?

 

nomore: i will gladly kill you

 

draalthedecent: You told me yesterday we couldn’t kill him because we’re the good guys 

 

nomore: ugh

 

mrstricklander: Being on the good side is treacherous sometimes, isn’t it?

 

nomore: Only when it means I can’t kill you