Chapter 1: Potions and Poptropica
i'm going to regret deciding to post this by tomorrow morning but that's a problem future me will have to deal with. but anyway i like writing group chat fics bc it calms me down/distracts me from reality and this one i started for trollhunters actually made it past chapter 5 and kept going so i guess i'm posting it
tptobes added clairebear, smallj, dontblink, argh, and nomore to the chat
tptobes named the group trollhunters
June 2, 2018
tptobes: hello, friends
nomore: PLEASE tell me you didn’t make a group chat
tptobes: I have created a group chat so we can all stay in touch!!
clairebear: this is probably going to be chaos in .2 seconds but eh it’s a good idea anyway
tptobes: is there anyone else we need to add?
smallj: well considering pretty much everyone knows about trolls now, add whoever you want
clairebear: no please don’t add darci she’s gonna start yelling at me
nomore: add darci
nomore: i don’t know who she is but she sounds fun
tptobes: i could add steve and eli
tptobes: eli because he actually knows stuff and steve because why not
nomore: are you implying no one else here knows stuff?
clairebear: well yeah i mean jim missed 43 days of school so he doesn’t know stuff
nomore: how do you even miss FORTY-THREE days of school?!
smallj: I WAS TRAPPED IN THE DARKLANDS
tptobes: how did your mom not know you missed 43 days of school is the better question
smallj: plot hole
dontblink: I’m not sure I understand what’s going on here.
clairebear: jim stop
tptobes: i’m adding some people to the chat
nomore: uh oh
nomore: don’t add stricklander
smallj: please tobes
tptobes added pepperbuddy, steve, arcadiamascott
clairebear: toby i trusted you
clairebear: also i know someone else we need to add
clairebear added thegoodchangeling
nomore: are you implying all other changelings are bad?
nomore: honestly? valid.
thegoodchangeling: i know
clairebear: here we go
arcadiamascott: WHY DID YOU NOT TELL US ABOUT TROLLS?!
clairebear: I wasn’t allowed to
clairebear: Also I didn’t want to put you in danger
arcadiamascott: Okay, but what is this I hear about you graduating early?
smallj: claire’s super smart and she’s going to prove that to the world!
clairebear: he’s joking
tptobes: he’s really not you’re like freakishly smart
clairebear: I have to move and I have enough credits to graduate early here, so I’m going to graduate early so I don’t have to worry about transferring everything to a new school
clairebear: also i got a cool internship with Mr. Blinky :-)
arcadiamascott: i feel like most of that is made up
clairebear: the truth is honestly less believable
arcadiamascott: i can handle it
clairebear: fine. I’m going with the trolls to New Jersey to find a new place for them to live since their old home got destroyed and also jim is a troll now
smallj: long story
pepperbuddy: jim is a TROLL?!
pepperbuddy: wait were you always a troll or are you like half-troll or like a changeling or????????????????
smallj: i was not always a troll i used to be human, merlin gave me a potion(?) that turned me into a troll so i could take on gunmar/angor rot/morgana i guess, now i am half human and half troll but i pretty much just look like a troll
smallj: listen idk what it was it was some sort of weird concoction
tptobes named the group weird concoction
pepperbuddy: wait okay so who is everyone here
smallj: I’m Jim
smallj: except i’m half troll now
clairebear: i’m Claire, obviously
nomore: My name is Nomura, I am a changeling and a museum curator
thegoodchangeling: i don’t remember me name BUT everyone calls me NotEnrique because I am, in fact, not Claire’s baby brother
thegoodchangeling: I’m a changeling (duh) and me familiar was Claire’s brother, but Jim brought him back from the Darklands, so now I’m permanently in me troll form
arcadiamascott: i’m Darci and I really only know a small fraction of what’s going on here
smallj: that’s his name
steve: w h a t
dontblink: I am Blinkous Galadrigal, leader of
dontblink: actually nowhere right now
smallj: we’re going to New Jersey
clairebear: lowkey new jersey scares me
smallj: honestly that’s fair
pepperbuddy: you have to tell me if you run into the Jersey Devil
smallj: the w ha t
pepperbuddy: the Jersey Devil! you know, from the legends
smallj: no i don’t i’m concerned
clairebear: Isn’t it that weird goat/bat/serpent thing or something?
clairebear: yeah i remember it’s on Cryptids Island on Poptropica
tptobes: MY CHILDHOOD
pepperbuddy: brb i’m going to go make a poptropica account
tptobes: eli… have you never played poptropica before?
tptobes: I’m coming over right now immediately to show you everything you need to know
steve: you’re just,, going with it?
pepperbuddy: what else can i do?
steve: ok fair enough
smallj: Steve, did you ever play Poptropica?
steve: Of course not!
smallj: I don’t believe you
steve: Fine, yes, I have played it before
clairebear: poptropica is where it was AT
tptobes: NABOOTI ISLAND IS MEMBERS ONLY NOW GUYS THIS IS T R E A S O N
clairebear: i loved that island :(
tptobes: someone tell eli he can’t start out with cryptids island and he needs to start out on early poptropica
pepperbuddy: but CRYPTIDS
pepperbuddy: i want to meet bigfoot!!!!
smallj: let the kid look for bigfoot
tptobes: early poptropica is 1 skull (easiest) and cryptids is 3 skulls (hardest) and eli has NEVER PLAYED BEFORE
clairebear: back when i first started playing there was only early poptropica and shark tooth. we were excited for time tangled. membership and skulls didn’t exist. life was simple.
nomore: stop making yourself sound like an old lady you’re 16
pepperbuddy: So does that mean I can look for Bigfoot?
clairebear: yeah sure idc
tptobes: you guys are. no help at all.
pepperbuddy: BIGFOOT HERE I COME
dontblink: What is this ‘Poptropica’?
tptobes: It’s a super cool computer game
smallj: we all played it back in elementary school
clairebear: “back in elementary school” i’m downloading the app right now coward
tptobes: THERE’S AN APP?
tptobes: brb i’m goin to the app store
argh: where is app store?
tptobes: oh it’s on my phone i’m not actually going anywhere
tptobes: except to New Jersey to fight Jim and Claire for not backing me up
smallj: we’re not even in new jersey yet
tptobes: i’ll meet u there
clairebear: ...was that a threat?
smallj: our small innocent toby is growing up
clairebear: my little baby, off to destroy people :’)
steve: he’s off to destroy you
tptobes: catch u in new jersey
Chapter 2: Fight Me
smallj sent a message to weird concoction
tap to view
June 3, 2018
smallj: toby pls come fight me i miss u
tptobes: i miss you too
tptobes: but alas, i cannot
clairebear: u know what’s kinda funny
nomore: jim asking toby to fight him?
clairebear: back when we did the flour assignment
smallj: can we not bring this up again
clairebear: jim and i were partners, and we’re dating
clairebear: toby and darci were partners, and now they’re dating too!
tptobes: are u implying what i think ur implying
steve: i’m leaving this chat and never returning
dontblink: I’m afraid I am confused again.
arcadiamascott: claire no
clairebear: claire yes
arcadiamascott: did you hear that mary broke up with tight jeans hank again???
clairebear: good for her!
clairebear: she deserves better
nomore: so we’re just gonna ignore whatever claire was implying with ‘the flour assignment’?
thegoodchangeling: i’ll tell you in a separate chat
nomore: okay because i’m completely lost
tptobes: who was Mary paired up with during the flour assignment?
clairebear: i don’t even remember anymore
clairebear: so much has happened since then
tptobes: well whoever it was is destined to be her next bf/gf
smallj: i guess so
arcadiamascott: Jim, can I ask why you’re username is smallj?
smallj: no you cannot
smallj: what up i’m jim i’m sixteen and i have a mysterious username
smallj: jk toby was joking about me being ‘small jim’ because i’m james lake jr and then this happened
tptobes: well you’re not very small anymore
clairebear: he wasn’t exactly small before though
tptobes: well he was skinnier than a literal twig
smallj: so what you guys want me to change my username to bigJ?
nomore: please Do Not
smallj: why not?
nomore: let’s just say it has to do with my childhood
smallj: are we finally unlocking nomura’s Tragic Backstory????
tptobes: i’ll grab the popcorn!
nomore: no, none of you fleshbags are getting my tragic backstory
smallj: so there is a tragic backstory???
thegoodchangeling: i am Offended
thegoodchangeling: you’re not allowed to imply i’m human when you’re probably literally in human form right now
nomore: oh go tear yourself in half
clairebear: this just in: nomura is a Queen
steve: so is jim changing his username or not?
smallj: i think you need a username change more than i do
steve: that’s fair
smallj changed their username to trollj
tptobes: the j stands for junkyard
trollj: alright steve it’s your turn
clairebear: omg guys you can change other people’s usernames
clairebear changed thegoodchangeling’s username to theokaychangeling
theokaychangeling: wow thanks
pepperbuddy changed steve’s username to creepslayer
creepslayer: okay i can deal with this
tptobes changed trollj’s username to trolljunkyard
trolljunkyard: w hy
trolljunkyard changed their username to trollj
trollj changed tptobes’s username to breakfastburrito
breakfastburrito: i do love breakfast burritos
breakfastburrito: but eh
breakfastburrito changed their username to tptobes
theokaychangeling: okay let’s play a game
clairebear: let’s NOT
theokaychangeling: truth or dare
arcadiamascott: ...Am I the only one confused about how that would work through texting?
tptobes: no you are not
theokaychangeling: truth or truth
theokaychangeling: never have i ever
nomore: we’d have to keep it clean or you'll have to face the consequences of blinky and aaarrrgghh knowing all ur dirty secrets
clairebear: and would that be more beneficial for us or for you?
nomore: probably more beneficial for notenrique tbh
clairebear: PLEASE TELL ME THAT WAS A JOKE
trollj: let's just play
dontblink: How do we play this game?
clairebear: It’s super easy I’ll just explain it in person
tptobes: I’ll explain it to Aaarrrgghh
creepslayer: Okay so we’re doing this
Chapter 3: Never Have I Ever
the gang plays never have i ever
you can Tell this chapter was written before 3below so just like,, ignore all the inaccuracies thx
June 3, 2018
trollj: notenrique, you start since you suggested it
clairebear: and only send how many points you have if you lose a point
creepslayer: Are we starting with 5 points or 10 points?
nomore: let’s just do 5
theokaychangeling: alright here we go
theokaychangeling: never have i ever dated someone
tptobes: nomura is gettin some
nomore: that was a long time ago
nomore: and also a mistake lol
arcadiamascott: i don’t believe that steve palchuk has never dated anyone
creepslayer: who would i even date?
creepslayer: i’m leaving
trollj: that’s illegal
nomore: who’s going next?
tptobes: I will!!
tptobes: Never have I ever been a troll
nomore: this is war
trollj: i’m not a full troll so it doesn’t count
theokaychangeling: that's cheating
clairebear: but he's technically only a half-troll and toby's never have i ever implied it only counted for full trolls so he's technically right
theokaychangeling: well idc about ur "technically"s, i think it's cheating
nomore: i’m going next
nomore: Never have I ever been male
tptobes: claire, you go
clairebear: okay never have i ever watched a Star Wars movie
pepperbuddy: how am i even friends with you
pepperbuddy: this means there are FIVE of you who have never seen a single star wars movie this is outrageous how are you even alive
arcadiamascott: if it helps, i really want to watch them but i don’t have enough time
pepperbuddy: toby take ur girlfriend on a date where u watch star wars
pepperbuddy: do it
pepperbuddy: this is vital for our friendship to survive
tptobes: ok ok i will
nomore: who’s next?
creepslayer: Never have I ever performed in a battle of the bands
clairebear: did we really perform though?
pepperbuddy: you started to
clairebear: ugh fine
arcadiamascott: this was a direct hit
creepslayer: sorry but you two were winning
arcadiamascott: Never have I ever had blonde hair
creepslayer: wow ok
theokaychangeling: s/o to enrique for being the ONLY one in claire’s family to not have black hair..
dontblink: Never have I ever been human for more than a month
theokaychangeling: jim this counts for you because you used to be human
trollj: i know, i know
pepperbuddy: Never have I ever watched the Harry Potter movies without reading the books first
tptobes: this was an attack
tptobes: 0 :(
theokaychangeling: 0 lol
nomore: alright, jim or Aaarrrgghh
trollj: I’m bad at thinking up things for this game!!!
tptobes: Aaarrrgghh’s is Never have I ever been to Japan
tptobes: he didn’t want to get anyone out
clairebear: a pure soul
clairebear: unlike me
trollj: pls tell me we don’t need to perform another exorcism
nomore: okay little gynt, it’s your turn
trollj: it’s troll gynt now apparently
tptobes: the j is for jynt
trollj: ALSO I HAVE NO IDEAS!!!!!
clairebear: literally you can do the stupidest thing like Nomura did
trollj: no i gotta think of something better than that
trollj: never have i ever worn lipstick
nomore: i can’t believe you’ve done this
tptobes: nomura knows vines
clairebear: rip in peace :(
clairebear: also 1
pepperbuddy: it wasn't by choice
clairebear: you're going to tell me the story behind this later
pepperbuddy: okay whatever
clairebear: so anyway
clairebear: Never have I ever seen a musical live
pepperbuddy: rip me
trollj: not even school musicals?
clairebear: I’ve always been in them
trollj: makes sense
trollj: blinky’s going to win
creepslayer: Never have I ever had more than two arms?
arcadiamascott: you sound unsure
creepslayer: screw off
dontblink: Never have I ever listened to Taylor Swift
dontblink: I don’t know who Taylor Swift is, but Master Jim told me to say that.
clairebear: screw u jim
creepslayer: does it count if I was in a store and one of her songs was playing?
arcadiamascott: sure steve you were in a store
creepslayer: tbf who HASN’T heard a taylor swift song???
clairebear: the trolls, apparently
nomore: Blinky, you’re up again
dontblink: Does this mean only Aaarrrgghh and I are left?
dontblink: But I don’t want to get Aaarrrgghh out!
nomore: then he'll get you out I guess
trollj: So what now?
clairebear: AAARRRGGHH AND BLINKY WIN!!!!
tptobes: Good job, Wingman!
theokaychangeling: this is called Cheating
clairebear: It’s called a tie deal with it
theokaychangeling: you can’t make me
clairebear: i’m going to. fight you.
theokaychangeling: do it
clairebear: we duel at sundown
Chapter 4: A Lively Lunch Date
tptobes sent a message to weird concoction
tap to view
June 3, 2018
tptobes: what happened who won was it claire pls tell me it was claire
tptobes: jim i have $7 riding on this please
tptobes: jim is my money safe i need it
trollj: no one won because they didn’t even fight
creepslayer: wait so who gets the money
clairebear: You guys bet on our fight?
clairebear: wrong time
theokaychangeling: darn i thought i was understanding it
clairebear: ur not
clairebear: you’re welcome :)
nomore: So what happened? Why didn’t you guys fight?
trollj: they’re both secretly giant softies
theokaychangeling: that is a LIE
clairebear: there are more important things to fight over is all
clairebear: like pineapple on pizza
clairebear: if anyone here likes pineapple on pizza, pls tell me so i can block you right here right now
creepslayer: why would anyone fess up to a crime like that
clairebear: ok that’s fair
tptobes: i’m hungry
trollj: as per usual
tptobes: who wants to go get tacos with me
tptobes: i’m going to that mexican place on maine meet me there in 15 minutes if u want
arcadiamascott: i’ll be there <3
nomore: i’ll take a hard pass
pepperbuddy: steve and i are gonna come too
tptobes: cool beans!
clairebear: double date
creepslayer: fight me
clairebear: i would
argh: bring back tacos?
tptobes: of course, wingman!!
trollj: i can’t believe they’re leaving us
clairebear: they’re getting lunch, not dying, quit being so melodramatic
tptobes: also we can literally still text you if it’s important
trollj: it’s impolite to use ur phone during a date
arcadiamascott: it’s not a date, it’s hanging out with friends
trollj: invite those kids I had to show around Arcadia and then it won’t be a date
tptobes: Good idea!
tptobes: jim u never sent me their contact info
trollj: oh shoot sorry one sec
pepperbuddy: What kids?
clairebear: Jim had to show some foreign exchange students around Arcadia in order to pass sophomore year (not that it really matters now)
clairebear: Aja and Krel
clairebear: They seemed nice
clairebear: a bit weird
clairebear: but nice!!
pepperbuddy: foreign exchange students at the end of the school year?
clairebear: That is kinda strange
trollj: They probably just wanted to get to know the culture better before next school year begins
pepperbuddy: Yeah maybe…..
creepslayer: eli whatever you’re thinking stop
pepperbuddy: I’m not thinking anything
pepperbuddy: fight me
creepslayer: why would you even say that
pepperbuddy: do it
pepperbuddy: fight me
trollj: it’s true; the short ones are feistiest
creepslayer: i’m not fighting u eli
creepslayer: just don’t do anything weird when we meet these new students
pepperbuddy: i never do anything weird
pepperbuddy: fight me
trollj: here we go again
clairebear: just go eat tacos before i block you all
tptobes added !krel! and aja:) to the chat
tptobes named the chat lunch?
June 3, 2018
tptobes: Hi, it’s Toby who took you on a tour of Arcadia with Jim and Claire which ended with you helping us trap lightning in a bottle! Jim sent me your numbers. Some friends and I are going to get lunch together, would you like to join us?
aja:): Yes! We would love to!!
tptobes: Great! We’re eating at the Mexican place on Main Street, I’ll send you the address in a minute
aja:): This is going to be lively!!
tptobes: It sure is
tptobes: Okay, here’s the address [click link to view]
!krel!: Thank you for inviting us, Toby
tptobes: No problem :-)
tptobes sent a message to weird concoction
tap to view
June 3, 2018
tptobes: Aja and Krel are going to join us for lunch
arcadiamascott: Fun! I can’t wait to meet them!
pepperbuddy: me neither :)
pepperbuddy: no thank you
clairebear: Fine, I guess it isn’t a double date anymore
clairebear: Is that what you wanted?
creepslayer: Yes let’s go we don’t want to be late
tptobes: I’m ordering as soon as Aja and Krel are so u better hurry and get here before them
pepperbuddy: we’re on our way shhh
pepperbuddy: it’s called carpool look it up
tptobes: Neither one of you has a car
pepperbuddy: same concept
tptobes: fair enough
Chapter 5: Not A Double Date
“Lively,” Aja muttered under her breath as she and Krel sat down at the same table as Toby. Another girl was there already, and there were two more empty seats. Perhaps for Jim and Claire?
Just after Aja sat down, two boys came rushing towards their table and sat down in the empty chairs. Aja recognized them as the newspaper delivery boy and the boy she'd gotten into a fight with at Stuart's food truck.
“We’re here! We made it!” The newspaper boy exclaimed as he pulled his chair out. He seemed out of breath.
“Good timing.” Toby turned to face Aja and her brother. “Okay. Well, um, Jim and Claire are studying abroad for… a while, so I thought I could introduce you to some other friends!” Toby said excitedly. “This is my girlfriend, Darci.” He motioned to the girl who was seated next to him. She waved politely. “This is Eli.” Tony motioned to newspaper boy. “And this is Steve,” he motioned to the boy Aja had punched. Eli and Steve both waved.
“I’m Aja,” Aja placed a hand on her chest to point to herself, “and this is my brother, Krel,” she pointed to her brother. “We are so grateful to be spending time him Arcadia! It is so lively! And legal!”
Darci, Steve, and Eli all looked slightly confused while Toby laughed nervously.
“They, um, have different expressions in Cante… Cantaloupe... where Aja and Krel are from.”
“Yes,” Krel agreed as he shot a pointed glare at Aja, “we have different… how you say… expressions .”
“So ‘legal’ means, like, awesomesauce!” Toby grinned. Darci nodded understandingly, Steve still looked slightly confused, and Eli looked like he didn’t believe a single word anyone had said since Aja called Arcadia ‘legal’.
Toby lifted up his menu. “Let’s order some food! I’m hungry for some good tacos.”
tptobes added trollj and clairebear to the chat
tptobes named the chat HELP
June 3, 2018
trollj: what, did steve and eli cancel?
tptobes: NO AJA JUST CALLED HER AND KREL BEING IN ARCADIA "LEGAL" AND NOW EVERYONE IS CONCERNED
clairebear: ugh i should have explained what legal actually meant
tptobes: YEAH YOU SHOULD HAVE
clairebear: sorry to mess up your double date
tptobes: It’s not even a double date, the only people dating here are me and Darci
trollj: And you’re on your phone, which is NOT a good thing to do on a date!
trollj: Or during any meal, really
trollj: I may be half troll but at least my mom taught me manners!
tptobes: relax saint jim, I’m in the bathroom
clairebear: YOU’RE IN THE BATHROOM?!
tptobes: Yeah so they wouldn’t see me texting you guys for HELP
clairebear: THEY’RE CONCERNED ABOUT KREL AND AJA BEING HERE ILLEGALLY AND YOU L E F T THEM
tptobes: in hindsight, this was not my brightest idea
clairebear: NO DIP SHERLOCK
trollj: ok who gives a flip if krel and aja are here illegally though like refugees deserve good lives too
clairebear: idc but other people might!
clairebear: other people like STEVE
trollj: idk i think he’s changed
clairebear: Well yeah maybe but how much????
tptobes: ok i’m back at the table i’ll try to secretly text everythign seems fine rn
tptobes: jim stop i’m trying to be secrte
tptobes: jim pls
trollj named the group secrte
tptobes: r u done
trollj: yeah i’m good
trollj: have fun on ur double date :)
tptobes: it’s literally not a double date fight me
trollj: i’ll win
trollj: toby do u need to talk to someone
tptobes: yeah i need to talk to these FRIENDS i invited to dinner so i’m putting my phone on mute bye
trollj: bye :(
clairebear: hopefully everything is okay back in arcadia
trollj: is everything ever “okay” in arcadia?
dontblink sent a message to weird concoction
tap to view
June 3, 2018
dontblink: How was your lunch with friends that was not a double date?
tptobes: fun :-)
pepperbuddy: a little strange…
creepslayer: It was interesting
creepslayer: Do Not
pepperbuddy: Are aliens real? :-)
pepperbuddy: I’m asking for a friend :-)
creepslayer: all ur friends r in this chat
dontblink: I’m afraid I don’t know. I only know about Trolls and Troll lore. Sorry. :::-(
pepperbuddy: It’s okay, I was just wondering
pepperbuddy: And not all of my friends are in this chat, Steve!
creepslayer: Most of them
pepperbuddy: ok fair
arcadiamascott: Okay so NO ONE is going to mention what happened at lunch?
trollj: was Toby on his phone too much? i TOLD him to put it away while he was with friends!
tptobes: ok mom
clairebear: this just in: jim has adopted toby
trollj: i’m a proud father
trollj: blinky ur a grandpa!!
trollj: toby is now ur grandson :-)
nomore: this is what happens when i leave my phone at home for one (1) day
nomore: blinky has adopted jim and jim has adopted toby and apparently we still haven’t heard darci’s story
theokaychangeling: ooh yeah i wanna hear darci’s story!
arcadiamascott: Okay, so we were all just sitting, eating, talking about Arcadia n stuff
arcadiamascott: n it was toby, me, eli, steve, and toby’s weird friends, aja and krel
arcadiamascott: weird in a cool way btw
arcadiamascott: And then the door opens and Mary walks in, which is totally normal, but GET THIS
clairebear: we she on a date with whoever her flour project partner was pls say yes
clairebear: oh god no she got back with tight jeans hank didn’t she
clairebear: WAIT NO IT WAS THAT BAND GUY
clairebear: MARY IS DATING DOUXIE
trollj: better her than you in my humble opinion
arcadiamascott: claire stop no it was none of those
clairebear: oh ok
clairebear: carry on!
arcadiamascott: she was with SHANNON
clairebear: Well aren’t they kind of friends?
arcadiamascott: No, like they were holding hands and i think i saw her kiss shannon’s cheek
clairebear: kjdsflhgljadskjff they would be so cute together i can’t believe i’m not THERE
clairebear: i can’t believe i couldn’t see that mary likes girls!
pepperbuddy: maybe ur gaydar is broken
clairebear: guess so
arcadiamascott: anyway i hope she tells me so i can shower her in love n acceptance n then gush about how cute they are together
clairebear: me 2
trollj: that’s… that’s what happened at lunch?
nomore: what a let down
theokaychangeling: i dunno it could be good i met Mary once
clairebear: as enrique
theokaychangeling: still met her
nomore: ugh the last thing this chat needs is more romance
nomore: i thought there would be less of it here since you all are kids and some old grandpa trolls but idk i might get less with stricklander
trollj: pls stop before i throw up
nomore: and like i was 80% sure he was gay but my gaydar is like 800 years old so w/e i guess
tptobes: is this part of the Tragic Backstory…?
nomore: 800 years is an exaggeration
nomore: and my Tragic Backstory is not that i got kicked out for being gay so get that idea out of ur mind as well bc i KNOW it’s there
tptobes: she’s good…………
pepperbuddy: but how do you have a gaydar if you’re not gay?
nomore: well isn’t that a question?
pepperbuddy: yeah it sure was a question
nomore: unfortunately, you must be a level 10 friend to unlock an answer, sorry :/
nomore: see you losers tomorrow
tptobes: so what level do we have to be to unlock the Tragic Backstory?
tptobes: ur probably right
Chapter 6: Everyone is Gay
Life started happening so I haven't had time to update, but I'm back and it's spring break, so I'll try to update daily for this week to make up for my unofficial hiatus from Ao3
June 4, 2018
clairebear sent a message to weird concoction
tap to view
clairebear: hey guys
clairebear: Can I tell you something?
nomore: fire away, fair claire
clairebear: okay so notenrique and jim already know this (bc i told jim this morning in person) but i feel like the rest of you should know so
clairebear: I’m bi
pepperbuddy: ah so THAT’S why you implied you had a gaydar
nomore: this isn’t some big ruse to get me to explain why i implied i have a gaydar, is it?
clairebear: 1. no 2. u didn’t imply it, you literally said you had a gaydar
nomore: oh whatever
arcadiamascott: I STILL LOVE U CLAIRE
clairebear: LOVE U 2 DARCI
tptobes: ok while we’re on the topic, i’m pan
clairebear: i knew it.
pepperbuddy: your gaydar worked on him!!
trollj: cool beans dude
clairebear: oh um also my parents don’t know about me being bi so pls don’t say anything to them bc i’d rather tell them myself, in person
tptobes: roger that
clairebear: so, eli, anything you want to say?
pepperbuddy: I’m gay
nomore: we been knew
pepperbuddy: yeah i wasn’t really trying to hide it idc
arcadiamascott: so, was it actually a double date before we invited aja and krel???
pepperbuddy: NO IT WAS NOT
dontblink: I am, once again, a bit confused by these human terms
clairebear: bi - attracted to both girls and guys
pan - attracted to all genders (there’s a fuzzy line between bi and pan, sometimes it comes down to whichever label each individual person prefers)
gay - attracted to the same gender as you, also can be used as an umbrella term for anyone who is not straight, generally refers to boys rather than girls, though girls use it sometimes too
straight - attracted to the opposite gender (etc. girls who like boys, boys who like girls) (most people consider this the ‘default’ even though it shouldn’t be)
ace - not sexually attracted to anyone, but could still experience romantic attraction, this is a spectrum which includes more detailed sexualities
aro - not romantically attracted to anyone, but could still experience sexual attraction, this is also a spectrum very similar to the ace spectrum
poly - attracted to multiple genders, but not all
queer - umbrella term, similar to gay though some people consider this a deragatory slur
lesbian - girls who are attracted to girls (so basically gay but exclusively for girls)
trans - when someone identifies as a different gender from what they were assigned at birth
non-binary - identifying with a gender (or lack thereof) outside of the generic male/female gender binary, can be used as an umbrella term or a gender identity
agender - lack of a gender
genderfluid - switching between genders, sometimes just male and female, or sometimes it includes an identity outside of the gender binary (it’s generally fluid over longer periods of time, not like hour to hour from what i’ve seen)
clairebear: i’m sure i forgot some but those are the basics of the lgbtq+ community
trollj: i never knew there were so many different labels
nomore: i guess you all are expecting my explanation now?
pepperbuddy: we don’t need one it’s okay
nomore: eh i guess you’re all level 10 friends now
nomore: i’m aromantic
theokaychangeling: not to pry, but didn’t ya say you’d been in a relationship before?
nomore: that was before i knew dingbat
nomore: i thought how i felt was normal, i figured everyone was just making sacrifices because society decided romance was good or smth idk
nomore: anyway then i heard about the term aromantic and was like “wait that’s me” and i ended things
nomore: and that’s all of my backstory you’re getting until you’re a level ∞ friend :)
clairebear: we love n support u nomura
nomore: cool i’m gonna go get some coffee at the coffee shop bye
clairebear: bye :-)
nomore sent a message to mrstricklander
nomore: i’m gonna kill myself
mrstricklander: Is that group chat you’re in with the Trollhunters really ticking you off that much?
nomore: i told them
nomore: i forking opened up and told them i’m aromantic i’m gonna die
mrstricklander: You’re not going to die. Why would you die?
nomore: bc i’m gonna kill myself
mrstricklander: Also are we going to mention the ‘forking’ or no?
nomore: i’ve been spending too much time around children
nomore: also i started watching the good place and it’s hilarious
mrstricklander: So why are you texting me about this?
nomore: oh yeah do u know where i can find a rope
mrstricklander: Nomura, who cares if you told them? We’ve been through life or death apocalypse stuff together, people tend to share an emotional bond after that. They’re not going to turn their backs on you or anything.
nomore: we’re not talking about my Tragic Backstory rn ok
nomore: i hate that u even know
mrstricklander: You need to just take a shower and get some rest or something to lower your stress levels because I can feel the anxiety radiating off you through the phone.
nomore: i’m going to kill u and then myself
mrstricklander: I’m going to show these messages to Barbara in a second here
nomore: u think she’s gonna save u
mrstricklander: She might have to save you.
nomore: fine i will take a show and go to sleep
nomore: ur not telling the Trollhunter’s mother my Tragic Backstory or I will end your life and I am not joking.
mrstricklander: I won’t tell anyone you’re ‘tragic backstory’, but all things reveal themselves in due time.
nomore: quit being so cryptic oh my god
nomore: You’re so annoying i don’t even know why I keep ur number in my phone
nomore: & before u say anything i am going to take a shower now leave me alone
Chapter 7: o'DONToghue
Eli has a realization about Douxie. Or, as I like to call him, Sketchy Band Guy.
pepperbuddy sent a message to weird concoction
tap to view
June 5, 2018
pepperbuddy: GUYS I REALIZED WHAT WAS PUTTING ME ON EDGE ABOUT THAT BATTLE OF THE BANDS GUY
pepperbuddy: YEAH HIM
creepslayer: please tell me you’re not about to confess you have a crush on him
pepperbuddy: no way
pepperbuddy: ever since i first met him, i was getting this really strange vibe and i finally figured out why!!
trollj: yeah i was getting a strange vibe too
clairebear: i wasn’t even into him
trollj: but he was definitely into you
arcadiamascott: yeah, until you ordered your steak raw and dripping with blood at least
nomore: you did WHAT
clairebear: IT WAS MORGANA
clairebear: I WAS POSSESSED
clairebear: so anyway eli what’s up with Douxie?
pepperbuddy: his voice is the same as colin o’donoghue’s
pepperbuddy: or captain hook from the Cursed Show
creepslayer: oh you mean That buttsnack
clairebear: wait what’s so bad about him?
pepperbuddy: i don’t have time to go into all the details but his voice is exactly the same i swear to Blinky
dontblink: Why are we swearing to me?
trollj: why not
arcadiamascott: I’m going to check this out myself
tptobes: Can I come with?
trollj: careful, tobes
arcadiamascott: chill out jim, douxie isn’t even my type
creepslayer: You’re sure it’s the same?
creepslayer: now he’s gonna set me on edge too
creepslayer: why did you do this to me eli
pepperbuddy: if i have to suffer so do the rest of you
nomore: my motto
creepslayer: well i’m the only one suffering as much as u
pepperbuddy: that’s the price of friendship i guess
creepslayer: worth it
clairebear: i think my gaydar is broken again guys
nomore: how’d u fix it the first time i need to fix mine
clairebear: maybe mine just works sometimes and doesn’t work others who knows
nomore: um where are darci and toby?
pepperbuddy: looking for sketchy band guy
clairebear: his name is douxie guys cmon ur better than this
creepslayer: no i’m not
tptobes: we’re looking for sketchy band guy
clairebear: toby srsly
nomore: i’m going to regret this but he’s at the museum
tptobes: THANKS NOMURA UR THE BEST
arcadiamascott: looks like we’re going to the museum
nomore: if u lure any goblins here i’m banning you all
tptobes: honestly fair
pepperbuddy: call us if there’s another gruesome
creepslayer: we’ll bring lots of flour
pepperbuddy: & ninja stars
tptobes: i have decided to not ask
creepslayer: the smart idea
nomore: you are not bringing ninja stars into my museum
pepperbuddy: of course not ms nomura i would never
trollj: it’s. not even ur museum?
nomore: it’s under my protection
trollj: ok that’s probably true
nomore: it’s chill i get it troll jim has trust issues
trollj: ur darn frickin right i do
nomore: and u know what? they’re frickin valid too
trollj: thx 4 the validation
nomore: anytime little gynt
tptobes: ok we’re at the museum, where is sketchy band guy?
nomore: idk i just know he was here look around
nomore: i gotta go i’m not supposed to text on the job
trollj: how does she even still have a job there
theokaychangeling: a valid question she will probably never answer
Chapter 8: 1,000 Babies
arcadiamascott sent a message to weird concoction
tap to view
June 5, 2018
arcadiamascott: eli was right oh my god
arcadiamascott: their voices are exactly the same it’s kind of terrifying
pepperbuddy: i knew it!!
nomore: is it wrong to turn into my troll form in order to scare bratty children?
nomore: hypothetical question
dontblink: Yes, I do believe that would be considered wrong.
nomore: i hate my job.
nomore: actually, i just hate screaming children.
theokaychangeling: that’s valid.
clairebear: u r a screaming children
theokaychangeling: that’s also valid.
clairebear: god how far away even is new jersey
trollj: too far
clairebear: too bad we couldnt take a plane
clairebear: well i could have
clairebear: but none of the rest of y’all could
theokaychangeling: wait u know that cradle crystal thing that is holding all the familiars
nomore: i’m sorry the WHAT
theokaychangeling: what’s gonna happen to all those babies
trollj: WHERE’D YOU PUT THIS CRYSTAL
theokaychangeling: i gave to to ur mom
trollj: YOU DID W HAT
theokaychangeling: i handed it to ur mom & strickler and said “here’s 1,000 babies have fun” and then ran
trollj: oh my go d u can’t DO that
clairebear: jim vs notenrique who will win place your bets now
trollj: i can’t believe u gave it to my mom
trollj: more importantly, i can’t believe you gave it to my mom AND STRICKLER
theokaychangeling: sorry i didn’t realize they were ur notp :/
trollj: claire stop teaching ur brother internet slang
theokaychangeling: anyway once nomura’s familiar is released, she’s gonna be out of a job
nomore: i need to support myself..
nomore: i can’t end up like notenrique!
nomore: jim i’m going to visit your mother after work today
trollj: at least i know u won’t fall in love with her
nomore: i’m going to accept that as ur blessing thx
trollj: sure thing
nomore: we’re going to figure out what to do with all those children notenrique just,, HANDED her with 0 explanation
trollj: u can let otto’s familiar out first bc we know changeling otto is dead
trollj: except his full name is probably ottolomew or something like that
trollj: i mean, strickler’s full name is waltolomew so who knows
creepslayer: STRICKLER’S NAME IS WALTOLOMEW?
nomore: it’s unfortunate
nomore: for him, not me, i think about that when i need to make myself laugh
creepslayer: i’m laughing so hard what kind of name is waltolomew
trollj: a good question
clairebear: according to behindthename.com waltolomew isn’t even a real name sfdskjsldfa
creepslayer: i believe it
pepperbuddy: but if waltolomew isn’t a real name, that means it isn’t actually mr. strickler’s name…
nomore: strickler has been using a fake name the whole time: a conspiracy theory thread
trollj: no but the nameplate of his familiar said Waltolomew on it
trollj: i saw it with my own eyes
clairebear: yeah but u were in the darklands, so it was dark, so how can we really trust your own eyes?
nomore: also that nameplate could have been a lie i mean is it really that hard to believe?
trollj: what is strickler’s real name when will the lies stop
trollj: TOBY TOBY ASK BLINKY’S BROTHER THIS IS IMPORTANT
tptobes: dude he doesn’t even talk to me he only talks to my nana
trollj: well tell your nana to ask blinky’s brother what mr. waltolomew’s real name is
tptobes: i will try but this is not going to work
trollj: thx ur the best
nomore: oh my god someone tell your parents to Stop
trollj: what what are they doing
nomore: SOMOENE MSDE A GROUP CHTA
nomore: ugh ok this is horrible
nomore: who the hell added the coach from ur school what does he have to do with any of this
trollj: probably nothing! who knows! not me! not any of us!
clairebear: could u literally be any more obvious
trollj: I HAVE TO LEAVE NOW BYE
nomore: they don’t know i’m in a group chat with u guys so i can feed u information like a spy
tptobes: cool beans
clairebear: But what if you end up feeding them information about us?
theokaychangeling: the girl has a point
nomore: guess you’ll just have to trust me
argh: oh no
nomore: i’m spilling all of aaarrrgghh’s secrets to ur parents brb
argh: what secrets?
tptobes: she’s joking, don’t worry
nomore: hey blinkous i’m adding you to the Adult Group Chat
nomore: where we talk about Adult Things
nomore: like romeo and juliet apparently do any of ur parents have lives?
clairebear: i love romeo and juliet
tptobes: i’m fine
trollj: i’m texting u on a separate chat
tptobes: no stop
trollj: too late no turning back now
tptobes: bye guys i’m being punished by my father
nomore: guess i should add jim to the parent group chat too
trollj: please Do Not
Chapter 9: Mayhem
uh... sorry for not updating... ngl i kind of forgot i posted this fic. oops?
June 5, 2018
councilwomannunez sent a message to nomore , mrstricklander , tobysnana , javiernunez , and msbarbaralake
tap to view
councilwomannunez: I’m creating this chat so we have an easy way to contact one another with information about our children that they may only send to one of us. Am I missing anyone?
nomore named the group mayhem
msbarbaralake: We should probably add Darci’s dad.
mrstricklander added officerscott and itsthecoach
nomore: Am I allowed to ask why I’m here?
nomore: fight me
mrstricklander: ok i will
councilwomannunez: I did not create this group chat so we could have fights!
councilwomannunez: Ms. Nomura, I added you because Strickler wanted me to.
nomore: FIGHT ME WALTOLOMEW
msbarbaralake: You two need to stop.
mrstricklander: Of course, we’ll stop
councilwomannunez: So, has anyone gotten messages from the kids recently?
mrstricklander: I think Nomura saw Toby and Darci the other day
officerscott: Doing what, may I ask?
nomore: (@ stricklander fight me)
nomore: They were on a date at the museum I work at. They found the pottery exhibit fascinating. I was happy to give them extra information on all of the pieces they liked most!
officerscott: That’s nice, I guess
msbarbaralake: Last I heard from Jim, they were in Missouri. Claire went to a bookstore and bought a new copy of Romeo and Juliet because she didn’t bring her old copy with her.
javiernunez: I knew we forgot to pack something!
councilwomannunez: I’m glad she’s still interested in literature.
javiernunez: As am I, of course.
nomore: hope you guys don’t mind if i add Blinky to the conversation
councilwomannunez: What a great idea! I would have added him, but I didn’t have his contact information.
nomore added dontblink
nomore: Welcome Blinky, now you’re one of the Adults
dontblink: Well, Jim did imply I was his adoptive father the other day…
nomore: ok that’s enough please shut your mouth before i kick you out of this chat.
dontblink: I’m unsure how ‘shutting my mouth’ would hinder my ability to type?
officerscott: Ms. Nomura, you text in the same way Darci does sometimes
nomore: I like to keep up on all of the current internet slang
nomore: And no, I will not teach you; slang cannot be taught, it must be picked up over time or it will be unnatural
javiernunez: But it always seems to be changing so much!
nomore: that’s why it can’t be taught
nomore: By the time you are able to master one word, the rules for that word will have changed entirely
dontblink: That does seem to be true with Master Jim and Claire. I don’t understand their language sometimes. It can be more confusing than regular Human!
councilwomannunez: You mean English?
dontblink: Isn’t that a class in our children’s high school?
councilwoman: English is the language we’re speaking, Mr. Blinky. There are many different human languages.
donttblink: there’s what
nomore: blinky dropped the grammar rules somethin’s goin DOWN
nomore: Also, Blinky, I know Jim and Claire and all the other kids told you about their horrible Spanish class with ‘Uhl the Unforgiving’ as you call him.
dontblink: SPANISH IS ANOTHER LANGUAGE?! No wonder it was so difficult for the kids to master!
councilwomannunez: It’s only so difficult because we don’t start foreign language classes until high school…
itsthecoach: Uhl the Unforgiving? Really?
itsthecoach: Maybe he wouldn’t seem so unforgiving if those kids didn’t miss so much school. Jim especially
dontblink: Ah yes, Coach Lawrence the Complicated.
dontblink: I don’t understand what he teaches. One day, he is forcing our children to run around a field, and the next day, he is assigning them a bag of flour to care for! What class is that?
itsthecoach: You know Jim and Claire, don’t you?
dontblink: Yes, of course.
itsthecoach: Do you happen to know what happened to Jim and Claire’s bag of flour? Claire’s a good student who has never failed an assignment in her life apart from that assignment.
itsthecoach: Steve and Eli’s as well, for that matter. Steve, I get, but not Eli.
nomore: oh my god they were actually partners
dontblink: Ah yes, I have heard the argument between Jim and Claire several times now. Jim blew up their bag of flour.
msbarbaralake: he WHAT
dontblink: I gave them a dwarkstone to deal with the Gruesome, but I’m afraid Master Jim set it off while the bag of flour was still in the room with him. On the bright side, it informed us that flour is deadly to Gruesomes! A new discovery was made that day.
councilwomannunez: So you’re telling me Claire got an F on the assignment because of Jim?! She told me it was her fault!
msbarbaralake: YOU GAVE MY SON A BOMB?!
dontblink: Not a bomb, a dwarkstone.
nomore: which is basically a troll bomb
msbarbaralake: BLINKY YOU CAN’T GIVE BOMBS TO CHILDREN
dontblink: I have learned from my mistakes, I assure you. I no longer give dwarkstones to others and use them myself instead.
nomore: blinky stop talking
itsthecoach: Mr. Blinky, do you know if Eli is allergic to gluten?
dontblink: I don’t believe he is, he hasn’t ever mentioned an allergy to me.
itsthecoach: Then what happened to their bag of flour?
dontblink: I haven’t got a clue.
dontblink: Apparently neither one of them blew it up because they don’t argue about the assignment in the middle of the night when they’re supposed to be asleep causing the rest of us to have trouble sleeping. But I digress.
nomore: how would u know that ur in montana or smth
dontblink: We are in Missouri, actually. And I suppose I don’t know.
nomore: check and mate.
councilwomannunez: So Ms. Nomura, I take it you’ve heard about this infamous flour assignment from the kids?
mrstricklander: (check and mate, ms. nomura)
nomore: Actually, a fellow changeling told me about it, and he heard about it from Claire. I didn’t know Jim blew up he and Claire’s flour, though. I only knew they were partners and everyone in the class failed the assignment except for Toby and Darci.
councilwomannunez: What changeling? Do we know them?
mrstricklander: You’ve probably seen him around.
nomore: Yeah, probably. But I doubt you would know him by name.
councilwomannunez: So they’re not actually a person I know? Is it one of the students?
nomore: Well. Um.
nomore: Oh, would you look at the time? My break is over! I would love to continue this conversation, but I don’t want to get fired. Sorry!
councilwomannunez: Mr. Strickler
mrstricklander: oh no
councilwomannunez: Would you care to explain why Ms. Nomura was being so evasive about this changeling who is apparently friends with my daughter?
mrstricklander: You do understand you can simply call her Nomura instead of Ms. Nomura?
councilwomannunez: That doesn’t answer my question.
nomore sent a message to weird concoction
tap to view
nomore: I ACCIDENTALLY THREW WALTOLOMEW UNDER THE BUS AND NOW HE HAS TO EXPLAIN ABOUT NOTENRIQUE
clairebear: WHAT DID YOU DO
nomore: WELL TBF HE THREW ME UNDER THE BUS FIRST AND TRIED TO EXPOSE ME BEING IN THIS CHAT
clairebear: NOMURA WHAT DID U DO WHAT’S HAPPENING
theokaychangeling: add me to the chat
clairebear: NO DO NOT
clairebear: IS BLINKY IN THE CHAT STILL
clairebear: I’M NOT LETTING STRICKLER EXPLAIN THIS TO MY PARENTS
trollj: go steal blinky’s phone babe
theokaychangeling: claire add me to the chat
clairebear: NO WAY
tptobes: you gotta tell us how this whole thing goes down once it’s done
nomore: Claire, why won’t you just let Strickler take the fall?
clairebear: HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED MY PARENTS ARE GOING TO FLIP OUT
nomore: ugh that’s probably true
dontblink sent a message to mayhem
tap to view
dontblink: Hey guys, it’s Claire. Blinky told me I should probably explain about my, um, changeling friend so Mr. Strickler didn’t butcher the story.
mrstrickler: I’m too grateful for not having to explain this to be offended by that.
councilwomannunez: Okay Claire, could you please explain to us what no one else seems to want to explain?
dontblink: Okay so please let me tell the whole story before you freak out.
msbarbaralake: This is worrying…
dontblink: Back before I knew about any of this Trollhunter stuff, Enrique got replaced by a changeling we call NotEnrique. The real Enrique was sent to the Darklands with all of the other changelings’ familiars and NotEnrique took his spot. Jim, Toby, and I found out he was a changeling, but we convinced him to betray the other changelings to help us. Jim ended up opening a portal to the Darklands so he could rescue the real Enrique, and long story short, he succeeded in bringing Enrique back from the Darklands. He was completely unharmed. With the real Enrique out of the Darklands, NotEnrique couldn’t switch into human form anymore, so he started living with the trolls and he’s with us right now. Sorry for not telling you sooner?
councilwomannunez: You’re telling me for every changeling out there, there’s a real version of them in the Darklands?
dontblink: Not anymore. The babies are all in the cradle crystal thing now…
msbarbaralake: Yes, you can thank your fake brother for that.
dontblink: I’m so sorry I didn’t know he gave it to you with no explanation and then left. I think Nomura was going to stop by and explain that to you after she gets done with work today.
dontblink: She and NotEnrique were having a heated phone conversation about it earlier.
dontblink: Okay, Blinky wants his phone back now, so bye!
councilwomannunez: Oh my God…
itsthecoach: So what, exactly, are Changelings?
mrstricklander: We can change between full troll and full human. We were created to serve Gunmar basically. But since Gunmar has been defeated, there will be no more Changelings and those who are left alive have no one left to serve. Bular is dead, Gunmar is dead, Angor Rot is dead, and Morgana is stuck in the shadow realm.
itsthecoach: So, theoretically, anyone born before the big battle could be a Changeling?
itsthecoach: including eli…
mrstricklander: Elijah Pepperjack is not a changeling
itsthecoach: there’s something weird about that kid…
nomore: dude eli wouldn’t hurt a fly what is weird about him?
itsthecoach: I don’t know
nomore: oh my god
nomore: nvm i think i understand
itsthecoach: Really? Because I don’t.
nomore: Sorry, a changeling’s gotta keep her secrets
mrstricklander: That only applies to Nomura.
msbarbaralake: What a lie
mrstricklander: Okay I deserved that
msbarbaralake: I think Nomura is here, so I will talk to you all later!
councilwomannunez: Remember, text this chat if you get any news on our children!
nomore sent a message to clairebear and theokaychangeling
tap to view
nomore named the group gossip
nomore: Okay, so why would someone add the coach to the parent group chat? This is very important
theokaychangeling: yo u can quit the Proper Grammar in this chat
nomore: seriously tell me
nomore: Does it have something to do with Steve?
nomore: The coach thinks there’s ‘something weird’ about Eli, and I was thinking…
nomore: u remember how jim was saying douxie gave him a weird vibe bc he was into you?
nomore: what if eli gives the coach a weird vibe bc he’s into steve???
nomore: ofc this would only work if the coach was steve’s dad or smth
nomore: But it also fits with the whole flour assignment partners becoming a couple thing claire was going on about
nomore: so what’s the coach’s deal?
clairebear: He’s dating Steve’s mom
clairebear: but DO NOT tell anyone I told you that. I’m only telling you because you have blessed us with this information.
nomore: got it
clairebear: notenrique i will kill u if u tell anyone
theokaychangeling: I already knew! I know all the good Arcadia gossip!
theokaychangeling: Anyway since we’re apparently shipping Steve and Eli now, doesn’t that mean they need a ship name?
clairebear: why did i even explain shipping to you
theokaychangeling: A good question
theokaychangeling: So far I have Eve, Eleve, that’s all
nomore: obviously it would be Steli u idiot
nomore: god ship names are NOT that hard to come up with
clairebear: u rock nomura
nomore: please tell me that wasn’t a pun
clairebear: It’s wasn’t supposed to be
nomore: ok i’m gonna go try and figure out the cradle crystal with jim’s mom now so wish me luck
clairebear: Good luck!
clairebear: i can’t believe i was right about steve and eli looks like my gaydar isn’t actually broken at all
Chapter 10: Vespas & Varsity Jackets
nomore sent a message to weird concoction
tap to view
June 5, 2018
nomore: QUICK WHAT’S THE NAME OF THE GUY ON THE $10 BILL?!
nomore: THIS IS IMPORTANT
nomore: IT’S NOT ALBERT EINSTEIN, IS IT
clairebear: It’s Alexander Hamilton
clairebear: the $10 founding father without a father
nomore: Oh yeah that guy Thanks!!
pepperbuddy: how do you forget about Alexander Hamilton? he’s literally got an entire musical dedicated to him!
clairebear: NEW JRRSEY IS CLOSE TP NEW YORK CAN I GO SEE HMAILTON
trollj: aren’t tickets like $1000?
clairebear: worth it.
trollj: it’s really not,,
trollj: You don’t even have anyone to see it with!
clairebear: eli come to new york and see hamilton with me
creepslayer: you can’t leave me here
trollj: no worries steve u can still talk to dictatious
creepslayer: nope i’ll just go find those weird kids we ate tacos with that one day
clairebear: on the double date!!
tptobes: It wasn’t a double date!!
dontblink: Aaarrrgghh is right. I think it’s time for you kids to go to bed.
nomore: not a kid
theokaychangeling: not your kid
trollj: ok dad
tptobes: goodnight every1
nomore: I’ll be up for another 4 hours if anyone needs me
argh: bad idea.
nomore: ur absolutely right but that’s not gonna stop me
tptobes sent a message to trollj , clairebear , and arcadiamascott
tap to view
June 6, 2018
tptobes: AJKSFLJGFAJF GUY S
tptobes: UR NOT READY
clairebear: LAY IT ON ME TOBES WHAT HAPPENED
tptobes: I GOT TO SCHOOL EARLY THIS MORNING TO TURN IN A LATE ASSIGNMENT BEFORE CLASS STARTED
tptobes: AND I WAS AT MY LOCKER JUST GETTIN MY STUFF LIKE A NORMAL PERSON
tptobes: AND THEN I SEE STEVE PULL UP ON HIS VESPA
trollj: i’m confused about what the importance of this is
tptobes: HOLD UR HORSES JIMBO
tptobes: ELI WAS ON THE VESPA WITH HIM
trollj: aren’t they like,, neighbors?
clairebear: And we all know they’re friends now
arcadiamascott: I feel like there’s probably more to this story
clairebear: don’t leave us hangin tp
tptobes: SO ELI GETS OFF THE VESPA AND
clairebear: oh my god they kissed
arcadiamacott: i knew it.
tptobes: NOT QUITE
trollj: they?? hugged??
tptobes: ELI WAS WEARING STEVE’S JACKET
tptobes: U KNOW
tptobes: HIS VARSITY JACKET
tptobes: WHICH IS THE OLDEST ROMANCE TROPE IN THE BOOK
clairebear: you know what else is a romance trope? raising a fake baby for health class together……
arcadiamascott: ur not wrong
tptobes: THE JACKET GUYS FOCUS ON THE JACKET
trollj: so what are they dating or not
tptobes: I DON’T KNOW
trollj: so what’s the point
clairebear: If you don’t appreciate this sleuthing, we’ll get someone in here who does!
trollj: I appreciate the sleuthing!!
clairebear: wait hold on can i add some ppl to the chat?
trollj: let’s add those weird kids
arcadiamascott: You can’t just keep calling Aja and Krel “those weird kids”
arcadiamascott: Imagine if they called you “that troll kid”
trollj: i would say “valid” and move on with my life
clairebear: I was actually talking about Nomura and NotEnrique
clairebear: Well, Nomura blessed me with some valuable information the other day, so I feel it’s only right to repay the kindness
tptobes: What information?
tptobes: ok add nomura
clairebear: What about NotEnrique?
tptobes: What does he have to offer?
clairebear: Fine, I’ll just add Nomura
clairebear added nomore
clairebear: yo Toby sent some juicy steli gossip
tptobes: they have a ship name!!
tptobes: You know, like Darby
tptobes: and Stricklake
trollj: How dare you mention something so sinful in this good Christian chat?
arcadiamacott named the group good christian chat
clairebear: kumbaya my lord kumbayaaaaaaaa
trollj: toby is snorting cheese ball dust in the background
tptobes: yes i am
nomore: dude that stuff is dangerous
arcadiamacott: you guys should be glad your father isn’t here to see this
arcadiamascott: I mean Blinky, not Jesus
arcadiamascott: Jesus sees all
nomore: for the last time blinky is NOT my dad! my dad died like 700 years ago!!
clairebear: ur dad died 100 years after your gaydar was broken?
nomore: yes he did
tptobes: nomura’s backstory has such a confusing timeline
trollj: kinda like that one fairytale show lol
tptobes: What show?
trollj: i mean what
trollj: SO ANYWAY did eli give steve his jacket back or does he still have it?
tptobes: he gave it back after they both got off the vespa :/
tptobes: then i RAN
tptobes: couldn’t risk them seeing me
arcadiamascott: I just remembered tomorrow’s the last day of school
tptobes: HECK YEAH
tptobes: CAN’T WAIT FOR SUMMER VACATION!!!!!!!!!!
trollj: wait… isn’t it like 1pm back in Arcadia?
clairebear: yeah aren’t you guys in school still?
tptobes: coach is basically done for the year so it’s like a free period
arcadiamascott: pretty much
clairebear: DUDES STEVE AND ELI ARE IN THAT CLASS WHAT R THEY DOING
tptobes: ignoring each other like they always do in school
clairebear: except when they both arrive on steve’s vespa apparently
tptobes: hey idk
tptobes: steve basically just ignores everyone at school
arcadiamascott: it’s true
arcadiamascott: Like he stopped bullying ppl but then he didn’t like,, make any non-bully friends so? now he’s a loner kid and it’s weird
tptobes: but also there’s a day of school left so it’s not like making new friends for school is gonna matter right now
clairebear: WHAT’S HAPPENING
tptobes: STEVE AND ELI ARE TALKING
tptobes: I CAN’T HEAR WHAT THEY’RE SAYING BC THEY’RE WHISPERING AHHHHH
arcadiamascott: LFHLAKSJHFL COACH JUST CALLED OUT TOBY FOR LEANING OVER SO FAR IN HIS CHAIR HE ALMOST FELL OUT
arcadiamascott: don’t fall out of ur chair
tptobes: I WASN’T TRYING TO
clairebear: i wish i was there
tptobes: STEVE JUST THREW HIS JACKET AT ELI
arcadiamascott: Eli’s blushing really bad
arcadiamascott: like his face looks like a tomato
tptobes: He tossed the jacket back to Steve
tptobes: HE RAISED HIS HAND AND LOOKED STEVE IN THE EYE AND ASKED TO MOVE SEATS
arcadiamascott: COACH SAID NO I’M DYING
clairebear: we don’t even have assigned seats in that class?
arcadiamascott: IKR THAT’S WHY IT’D SO FUNNH I CATN BREATHE
nomore: This is better than all of the movies I’ve watched recently
clairebear: why are their desks so close together
trollj: why are you being a stalker is the better question
nomore: You think that’s bad? You guys’ moms send screenshots of ur locations from find my iphone in the adult group chat
nomore: Well, Jim and Claire’s moms send screenshots, Darci’s dad sends screenshots, and I’m not entirely sure Toby’s nana even knows about the group chat
trollj: our parents are stalkers
trollj: Blinky would never treat me like this
clairebear: proof Blinky is the best dad
nomore: Blinky wouldn’t treat you like that because he doesn’t even know how find my iphone works
trollj: shhhh just let us have this
tptobes: Nooo this class is almost over :((((
tptobes: Never thought I’d say that about coach’s class…..
clairebear: ppl change on the last few days of school
clairebear: life seems worth living again so everyone is a bit more likeable
trollj: that is strangely accurate
tptobes: the bell’s gonna ring in like a minute so bye
clairebear: if anything else happens u gotta tell us as soon as u can
tptobes: i will i promise
Chapter 11: SUMMER IS COMING
i just really ship steli & one of my favorite fanfic tropes is when all the characters ship my otp sorry
tptobes sent a message to good christian chat
tap to view
June 6, 2018
tptobes: dudes i feel so sad rn
trollj: what happened?????
trollj: I will run all the way back to Arcadia to hug you just say the word
tptobes: It’s not me who needs a hug!
tptobes: I was talking to Eli in English today (bc we weren’t doing anything and Steve doesn’t have English with us) and,,
clairebear: i don’t believe eli was bullying you so this is probably not as sad as you want us to think it is
tptobes: IT’S NOT ME WHO NEEDS A HUG!!!!!
tptobes: Eli was sad about school ending and I was like “idk why you like school so much, isn’t it nice to have a break???”
tptobes: And he goes “well yeah but i never do anything over summer break! everyone else goes on vacations and hangs out with friends but i don’t have any friends to hang out with over summer and at least one of my moms usually has to work all summer long so we can’t go on any cool vacations either”
tptobes: AND NOW I’M SAD FOR ELI
trollj: if you want me to hug eli i will run all the way home just say the word
tptobes: I hugged him myself!
tptobes: And I told him he’s welcome to hang out with my any time he wants over summer break (unless I’m on a date with Darci)
arcadiamascott: You’re so sweet, Tobes!!
tptobes: I’m going to officially introduce him to AAARRRGGHH this evening and then I’m going over to his house for dinner
trollj: I’m so glad you’re making friends!! Look @ our little toby growing up :’)
clairebear: we love & support u tp!!!! go make new friends!!!!!
trollj: Be a good friend to Eli bc he deserves it!!!!
nomore: Is this like the Eli Protection Squad or something?
clairebear: it is now
clairebear named the chat Eli Protection Squad!!
tptobes: I really hope Eli doesn’t happen to glance at my phone and see a notification from this chat bc that would be WEIRD
arcadiamascott: Okay so I’m in Chemistry rn
arcadiamascott: I have Chemistry w Steve
arcadiamascott: He just got a text from Eli
arcadiamascott: I can’t read it! I’m not close enough!
arcadiamascott: Tobes ur with Eli right now see if you can see anything on his phone
tptobes: He went to the bathroom so the answer is no
arcadiamascott: ughhh well I’ll try and keep looking
nomore: I’m not sure who the worse stalkers are; you guys or your parents…
pepperbuddy sent a message to creepslayer
June 6, 2018
pepperbuddy: I’m going home with Toby today to meet Aaarrrgghh sorry
creepslayer: that’s fine
pepperbuddy: We can hang out after school tomorrow?
creepslayer: Ok sounds good
pepperbuddy: Please don’t be upset, I felt really bad turning down his offer bc he was being so nice to me
creepslayer: I’m not upset I promise
creepslayer: ugh Darci looks like she’s trying to figure out who I’m texting
creepslayer: Send something weird and I’ll let her see it
pepperbuddy: I can’t come up with something weird to send on the spot!
pepperbuddy: This is too much pressure!!!!
creepslayer: w/e So Aaarrrgghh is the troll who lives at Toby’s house, right?
pepperbuddy: Well, one of them
pepperbuddy: I think Dictatious is still there too
creepslayer: Right, I forgot about him
pepperbuddy: I can ask if Toby’s alright with you coming over for dinner too?
creepslayer: you invited him over to dinner,, i feel betrayed,,
pepperbuddy: SORRY I’M WEAK WHEN PPL ARE NICE TO ME
pepperbuddy: I’M NOT USED TO HAVING FRIENDS
creepslayer: it’s fine idc
creepslayer: I’ll see you at school tomorrow
pepperbuddy: You sure?
creepslayer: I just got a text from Coach anyway he wants me to stay late to help him organize equipment so he doesn’t have to come back and do it after the school year ends
creepslayer: Yes, really! I’m not making that up so you don’t feel bad, I promise!
pepperbuddy: Okay, okay
pepperbuddy: Do you still have my notebook that you STOLE from me?
creepslayer: oops yeah i put it in my locker
pepperbuddy: Can I get it before I leave after school?
pepperbuddy: It’s very important and I need it
pepperbuddy: Important stuff!!!!
creepslayer: Fine meet me by my locker after school
tptobes sent a message to Eli Protection Squad
tap to view
June 6, 2018
tptobes: IT’S SEVENTH HOUR WE ARE ALMOST DONE!!!!
arcadiamascott: ONE MORE CLASS AND THEN WE OFFICIALLY ONLY HAVE ONE DAY OF SCHOOL LEFT!!!
tptobes: OH YEAH!!!!!!
tptobes: Also I just got a text from Eli to meet him at Steve’s locker after school
clairebear: You’re not graffitiing it, are you?
tptobes: u REALLY think eli would let me graffiti steve’s locker?
tptobes: My guess is Eli needs to get something from Steve or tell Steve something idk
clairebear: He just wants to tell Steve bye probably
tptobes: Well I will let you know after school gets out
trollj: quick question: how are you and eli getting to your house??? you probably rode your bike & eli rode to school w steve
tptobes: your mom is picking us up
trollj: wait like really or was that a joke
tptobes: Like really your mom is picking us up from school because her shifts at the hospital changed
trollj: have fun ig
tptobes: do u miss ur mom
trollj: you know i flipping do
tptobes: i’ll tell her you miss her dw
trollj: tell her i love her too
tptobes: ok i will
nomore: this just in: the Trollhunter is a giant softy
trollj: ur darn right i am
arcadiamascott: The bell is going to ring soon!!
tptobes: I’ll tell you all if anything else happens between Eli and Steve
nomore: And I’ll tell you if anything besides stalking you kids and heated debates about fast food restaurants happens in the Adult Chat
clairebear: And Jim and I will sit here waiting bc we’re so far away :((((((
trollj: rip us
trollj: have fun, tobes!!
clairebear: don’t stay out too late!!
trollj: don’t drink and drive!!
clairebear: don’t get possessed!!
trollj: don’t text and drive!!
clairebear: don’t blow up any children!!
trollj: THAT WAS ONE TIME
tptobes: alright thx mom and dad
tptobes: i’m headed to steve’s locker now to meet up with eli so i will text you all later
tptobes: peace out
clairebear: he better listen to all of our advice
trollj: that wasn’t advice that was rules
trollj: if he doesn’t follow them, he’s grounded
nomore: And how are you going to ground him from the middle of Montana?
trollj: I’ll kick him out of the group chat
trollj: alas, that is the burden of being a father
“Here.” Steve pulled Eli’s notebook out of his locker and handed it to the younger boy.
“Thanks!” Eli began putting the notebook into his backpack. “Sorry again about tonight. I just--”
“It’s fine, Eli, I already told you that,” Steve assured him. He closed his locker and placed a hand on Eli’s shoulder. “I know you really want to actually officially meet a troll, and this is your chance, so I’m not going to get mad at you for that.” Eli grinned up at Steve, and Steve couldn’t help but smile back. The moment didn’t last long, though, because Steve’s phone vibrated in his pocket and his smile faded. “Oh, shoot! I’m supposed to go help Coach!” Steve slung his backpack over his shoulder and began to walk away. “See you tomorrow!” He called after Eli as he ran back inside the school.
Eli was staring at the door Steve disappeared through until he heard Toby clear his throat behind him. Eli jumped a bit and turned to face Toby. “Oh! You’re here! Sorry, Steve stole my notebook and I had to get it back.”
“That’s fine. We’re gonna meet Jim’s mom by where I parked my bike this morning so we can put it in the back of her car and take it back to my house.”
Eli and Toby walked around to where the bike rack and Toby’s bike were. When they arrived, Barbara’s car was already there and she was standing outside of it. It looked like she was talking to someone in the passenger seat.
“I already loaded your bike up,” Barbara said when she saw Toby and Eli. “Also I forgot to mention I picked up Ms. Nomura before you because she’s going to be helping me with something and her apartment is on the way from the hospital to here.”
“That’s no problem!” Toby assured her. “Thanks for loading my bike!” He opened the door and climbed in, and Eli followed. Barbara got back in the car as well, and they were off to Toby’s house.
tptobes sent a message to weird concoction
tap to view
June 6, 2018
tptobes: nomura why didn’t you mention this
arcadiamascott: Woah wait what’s happening?
tptobes: So Jim’s mom is taking Eli and I to my house and we get there and who is in the passenger seat? NOMURA
nomore: THIS is why I didn’t say anything!
trollj: DOES MY MOM HAVE A THING FOR YOU TOO IS SHE JUST INTO CHANGELINGS OR WHAT
nomore: she’s got a better chance with strickler i mean
nomore: romance is 100% not my thing
nomore: so she should go back to strickler
trollj: DO NOT EVER SAY THAT AGAIN
trollj: i would rather my mom date you than strickler
pepperbuddy: um toby & miss nomura, i think jim’s mom is getting suspicious of you glaring at each other via rearview mirror so u might wanna stop
nomore: darn i was hoping she wouldn’t see
creepslayer: hey while you’re all here! Does anyone have a healthy relationship with their father?
tptobes: my dad is dead
pepperbuddy: i have two moms and zero dads
trollj: does Blinky count as my dad?
nomore: i barely remember my dad
clairebear: I mean, I guess I do????
clairebear: I don’t know? He’s just like,, my dad?? He didn’t abandon me or die so?? I mean, we don’t have like a dream father-daughter relationship but he’s p chill most of the time
creepslayer: How do you talk to him
clairebear: Well currently, I mostly text him
creepslayer: No but like isn’t talking to him weird and awkward?????
creepslayer: Does he ever try to get you to admit you have a crush on someone????
clairebear: No, he doesn’t care much about my love life as long as I don’t get pregnant so
creepslayer: kdshlfadgsjf i’m gonna die guys bye
trollj: What’s up with him?
arcadiamascott: honestly who knows at this point
Chapter 12: SUMMER IS HERE (and so are possibly evil spirits)
Aja and Krel begin their summer vacation by tampering with magic in the woods.
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
theokaychangeling sent a message to weird concoction
tap to view
June 7, 2018
theokaychangeling: barbura, lakemura, nolake, barbmura
theokaychangeling: anyone have a favorite?
trollj: blocked and reported.
nomore: hey this is aphobic thanks for coming to my tedtalk
theokaychangeling: hey it’s a platonic ship thanks for coming to my tedtalk
theokaychangeling: so anyway which one’s your favorite?
nomore: lakemura or barbmura
trollj: THIS IS BETRAYAL
trollj: ok well that’s just steve being steve but NOMURA!
trollj: I TRUSTED YOU
nomore: What? As long as it’s platonic idc
trollj: NO! NO! NO!!!!!!!
trollj: CHANGELINGS NEED TO STAY! AWAY! FROM! MY! MOTHER!
trollj: SOMEONE TELL WALTOLOMEW I SAID THAT
nomore: he said “Tell him to say that to my face”
trollj: GIVE ME HIS NUMBER I’LL FACETIME HIM AND LOOK HIM IN THE EYE AND TELL HIM TO STAY! AWAY!
nomore: yeah i’m actually not gonna do that
clairebear: Hey, aren’t Toby and them all out of school now?
trollj: Yeah I wonder why they haven’t said anything about it yet
trollj: The one good thing about being a troll? No more school.
trollj: I hate math
trollj: And Spanish
tptobes: LKDJHLAGH WE HAVE A PROBLEM HERE GUYS
tptobes: I THINK AJA AND KREL ARE SUMMONING DEMOS
trollj: summoning demos
pepperbuddy: what if aja and krel ARE demons?!
creepslayer: PLEASE tell me we don’t have DEMONS living in Arcadia!
tptobes: IDK KREL TEXTED ME ADN KJLADJGACK I’M WORRY
pepperbuddy: Is it creepslaying time? :-)
tptobes: NO I THINK IT’S EXORCISM 2.0 TIME
pepperbuddy: so it’s creepslaying time :-)
tptobes: YES FINE IDC COME OBER TO MY HOUSE RIHGT NOW
pepperbuddy: We’re on our way!!!!!
trollj: Okay seriously? Those kids aren’t summoning demons
trollj: They’re probably just catching lightning in a jar again or smth
clairebear: yeah idk but I actually am a little worried rn
nomore: I should go make sure Toby’s okay
nomore: I mean, I’m at Jim’s house right now so it’s not that far away
trollj: STOP DOING THIS TO ME
dontblink: Perhaps instead of summoning demons, they are performing a changeling ritual?
nomore: ur implying they’re changelings?
theokaychangeling: I doubt it
nomore: Listen it’s probably just a big misunderstanding, okay? I’ll go check on Toby and make sure he’s okay
theokaychangeling: Nomura, it’s been five minutes
nomore: we’re driving to find aja and krel i think they’re summoning a demon
clairebear: we never should’ve left arcadia they need us
trollj: No, they have Nomura, Toby, Aaarrrgghh, and the Creepslayerz
arcadiamascott: Okay so all I need to know is am I going to die????
nomore: Probably not
arcadiamascott: cool make sure someone nice gets to be the next mascot
Eli was the first one out of the car, followed closely by Toby. Aja and Krel were staring very intently at something emitting a light that illuminated their faces.
“What did you guys do?!” Toby shouted.
“It was all Aja’s idea!” Krel pointed at his sister.
Eli peered over Toby’s shoulder. “That doesn’t look much like a demon.” It was what looked to be a glowing, blue, orb. It looked more like light magic than a possible demon. “Why did Toby think it was a demon?”
“They-- they said they used a…” Toby’s voice trailed off as he tried to think of the word, “a thing you use to summon evil spirits!”
Eli frowned. He stepped in front of Toby so he could get a better look. He knelt down in the grass, studying it. “Usually, I’d say it’s probably alien. But now I think it looks more troll-like.”
While Toby and Eli were busy talking to Aja and Krel, Nomura had transformed into her troll form. The sun was below the horizon now, so that wasn’t a concern. The four kids listened to her immediately. They moved out of the way. Nomura didn’t even have to draw her swords, which she found almost disappointing.
Nomura went to kneel, but before she could do much observing, a shout interrupted her.
“What’s he doing here?!”
Nomura looked back to see…
“Move out of the way,” he ordered.
“Why?” Nomura challenged. She reached one hand back until it was resting on the hilt of a sword.
“What is it?”
Merlin didn’t answer. Nomura drew her sword and pointed it towards him. “What is it?” She asked again.
“Who summoned it?” No one answered, but several people glanced towards Aja and Krel, and that was all Merlin needed. “To summon something such as this takes enormous amounts of energy few on this planet have access to. I would say it’s almost impossible without magic.”
“What is it?” Nomura questioned once more, though she doubted Merlin would give her a straight answer.
“It is…” Merlin hesitated, “an essence. A dangerous one.”
“An essence?” Toby asked. “Of what?”
Merlin shifted his weight. He folded his hands together. “One of Morgana’s servants, most likely.”
Nomura narrowed her eyes. “Morgana didn’t have any servants. The closest thing she had was Claire, who bested her when even you couldn’t. So if this thing is dangerous, tell us exactly what it is so we can protect Arcadia from it.”
“Changelings aren’t supposed to be soft.” Merlin tutted. “Sounds like you’re broken to me.”
Nomura pulled her other sword and lunged towards Merlin.
Toby and Eli jumped back towards the light and away from Merlin and Nomura. Krel and Aja looked at each other uneasily. Steve and Barbara were still near the car, far enough away to be safe for the moment.
“What are we supposed to do?” Eli asked.
Toby shrugged. “I feel like we should break up the fight, but also, maybe if Nomura wins, Merlin will tell us what’s actually going on?”
The fight didn’t last long. Nomura and Merlin ended up just circling around each other, waiting for someone to make another move.
“What is the light?” Nomura growled.
“It’s none of your concern.”
“We need to figure it out ourselves, at least partially,” Eli said suddenly. He pulled Toby closer to Aja and Krel. “If we guess at least partially correctly, Merlin will react. So how did you summon this thing?”
“We were messing around with this,” Aja held up an old looking book. “It looked like one of those cool spell books you see in movies, so I was pretending it was actual magic and then it was . We did the whole ritual and everything. Wait, sorry, not ritual in a bad way. There was no blood sacrifice, I promise. It was just like, lightning candles and stuff.”
“Which spell did you try?” Eli took the book from Aja and began flipping through the pages.
“Um… I don’t remember what it was called.”
“Probably something in Latin,” Eli muttered. He stopped on a page and showed it to Aja. “This one?”
“Yes!” Aja and Krel exclaimed in unison.
“Oh boy.” Eli ran a hand through his hair and looked down at the book. “Toby, do you have your phone on you? Mine’s in the car.”
“Yeah, one sec.” Toby pulled his phone out and turned the flashlight on so Eli could look at the book better.
“My Latin is a little rusty, but if I’m not mistaken, this is a spell to summon a spirit of one recently lost. Except… It should appear looking like the person - or troll, I guess - you’re trying to talk to. This spell is acting weird for some reason.” Eli looked around at where they were. “Something strange must have happened here…”
“So what, it’s a soul?” Toby asked.
“I think so.” Eli crept closer to the light. “Can you hear me?” When it didn’t respond, he glanced back towards Aja and Krel, “Did you finish the spell?”
“Hmmm…” Eli looked back at the light, then down to the book. He flipped to the next page, which was blank. Unless…
Eli dropped the book, jumped up, and rushed back towards the car, ignoring Nomura and Merlin’s now silent feud. Eli grabbed his backpack out of the back seat, then grabbed Steve’s arm and drug him back over to the group.
“What are you doing?” Steve asked as Eli let go of his arm.
Eli handed Steve the book. “Hold this.” He then began digging through his backpack until he pulled out a pen. He pointed one end towards the book and pressed a button, causing the pen to light up. The light caused writings to be visible on what had previously been a blank page.
Eli’s eyes widened as he read it. “This is… I don’t know. Okay, okay, I’m going to read it and pray that it doesn’t make things worse.” Eli began to read the incantation.
When Merlin heard Eli, he dropped the staring contest with Nomura and ran towards the kids. But Nomura was ready. She blocked him, and the two were locked in combat once more. As Eli continued to read, the light began to glow brighter.
One of Nomura’s swords skidded across the ground, towards Barbara, who picked it up. Nomura disarmed Merlin shortly after, and pressed her sword against his throat. He tried to back up, but was stopped by Barbara.
“What is that thing?” Nomura asked, pressed her sword harder against the wizard.
“It’s part of a soul!” Merlin finally gave in. “And that boy is summoning the rest of it!”
“Part of a soul?” Nomura questioned.
Merlin nodded as much as he could with a sword against his neck. “Someone was either possessed or had part of their soul sucked from them in another way here. Someone who is now dead. And it needs to stay that way!”
“Who had their soul sucked from them?” Barbara asked Nomura, raising an eyebrow. Nomura shrugged.
“Kids,” Nomura called, “did someone have their soul sucked out of their body before they died?”
“Not that I recall,” Toby said. “Wait--” He looked at Nomura. “What about the Decimaar blade? Would that be having your soul sucked out?”
Nomura nodded slowly. “I would assume so, yes.” She looked at Merlin. “Is that what this is? Someone who was touched by the Decimaar blade?”
“Perhaps. But they must have died far away-- Oh.” Merlin’s eyes widened. “ Oh. ”
“What is it?” Nomura pressed harder.
“Someone who died far away?” Toby asked. “You don’t mean--”
Eli finished the incantation and the light erupted from the orb. When the brightness had faded enough to look at it, the light had begun to take the shape of a troll. But it didn’t stop at light; it solidified until a living troll was standing before them.
“Oh my God,” Nomura muttered. She lowered her arm and her sword slipped out of her hand.
“Where am I?” the troll asked.
“You’re in Arcadia,” Toby replied hesitantly. “Do you remember…?”
“I remember falling. And then… nothing. Until now.”
Toby nodded slowly.
“Who is this?” Aja asked in a hushed voice.
“This is Draal," Toby said. "He’s a friend.”
I have no excuse except this is my fanfic and I can raise characters from the dead if I want to
Chapter 13: we love our undead troll uncle
draal joins the group chat and everyone is family
i am. so bad at remembering to update this. i'm so sorry.
anyway happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate it!!
June 7, 2018
tptobes sent a message to weird concoction
tap to view
tptobes: Aja and Krel did not summon a demon
tptobes: But Eli helped them raise the dead
trollj: I’m concerned
clairebear: wait what
tptobes added draalthedecent
tptobes: So Darci, how was your first night of summer vacation?
trollj: WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO
pepperbuddy: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT
clairebear: AN ACCIDENT?!
trollj: DOESN’T LIKE ALL MAGIC COME WITH A PRICE OR SOMETHING???? THIS IS ALWAYS A BAD IDEA IN EVERY TV SHOW EVER!!!!!!!
pepperbuddy: unless ur name is killian
trollj: lol ur not wrong
trollj: BUT IT’S NOT SO??? WHY!!!!!!
pepperbuddy: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!!!
pepperbuddy: I’M NOT VERY GOOD AT READING LATIN
nomore: anyway last night was interesting who wants to find a bar to go to
clairebear: wrong chat nomura go find a drinking buddy in the chat with people who can actually legally drink alcohol
theokaychangeling: Wait, so is he actually back from the dead?
trollj: OH MY GOD DRAAL
trollj: I’VE MISSED YOU
trollj: YOU’RE BACK
trollj: YOU CAN BE THE TROLL UNCLE
clairebear: i thought dictatious was the troll uncle?
tptobes: he’s the evil troll uncle; draal can be the nice troll uncle
clairebear: right so blinky and aaarrrgghh are the troll dads, dictatious is the evil troll uncle, draal is the nice troll uncle, and nomura is the vodka changeling aunt
clairebear: and notenrique is the changeling brother
nomore: Yeah sounds about right
draalthedecent: I’m confused
clairebear: We’re one big family now
draalthedecent: Why is Jim’s username trollj?
trollj: Well it was smallj but then everyone was like “you’re not small!! you’re super tall now!!” so i changed it
trollj: Also I’m half troll now
trollj: Merlin gave me a weird concoction and told me to take a bath in it
tptobes: (that’s also where we got the chat name from)
draalthedecent: And you just… listened?
trollj: Well he was like “DO THIS IF YOU WANT TO DEFEAT GUNMAR AND SAVE EVERYONE YOU’VE EVER KNOWN FROM DEATH!!!!” so i was like “well when u put it like that i guess i don’t have a choice”
draalthedecent: So Jim becomes half troll and I don’t even get to see him?
draalthedecent: Don’t I have any rights as the troll uncle?
pepperbuddy: We should add Aja and Krel to this chat!!
tptobes: they can be the alien cousins
creepslayer: they’re not aliens,,
pepperbuddy: yes they are steve stop being so mean
draalthedecent: Do I know these children?
trollj: I don’t think so
trollj: creepslayer is Steve, pepperbuddy is Eli
trollj: also arcadiamascott is somewhere and that’s darci, toby’s gf
trollj: They all go to school with us
trollj: Well, I don’t go to school anymore but you get the point
clairebear: we recently adopted them :-)
draalthedecent: So how does being a family work with the relationships???
trollj: We need to make an official family tree…
clairebear: Jim is Blinky’s son and I am his gf, Toby is Aaarrrgghh’s son and Darci is his gf
clairebear: then Blinky and Aaarrrgghh got married and adopted Eli and Steve is his bf
creepslayer: I’m not
dontblink: AAARRRGGHH and I are not married?
clairebear: it’s fake guys just go with it
clairebear: Dictatious is Blinky’s brother (that’s actually real), Draal is Aaarrrgghh’s brother, Nomura is actually NotEnrique’s aunt but we just go with her being our aunt
argh: nomura and draal?
nomore: oooh yeah let’s add more drama to the story!! Draal and I were married and then we got a divorce but I still hang out with you guys bc you like me better than your uncles
trollj: cool beans
theokaychangeling: is this,, an au for our lives?
nomore: How does Waltolomew fit into this?
trollj: the grumpy grandpa twice removed
arcadiamascott: Can grandparents even be ‘removed’?
trollj: He’s twice removed bc we’ve disowned him twice
nomore: i approve
nomore: am i allowed to tell him this
trollj: yeah and while you’re at it give me his number so i can facetime him and tell him to STAY AWAY FROM MY MOTHER
trollj: WHILE LOOKING HIM IN THE EYE
trollj: draal is in arcadia
trollj: DRAAL I NEED YOU TO PROTECT MY MOTHER NOW
draalthedecent: i will give my life for her
trollj: PLEASE DON’T DIE AGAIN
trollj: i just need you to keep strickler away from her
draalthedecent: i can do that
draalthedecent: what about Nomura?
trollj: She’s fine
trollj: For now.
nomore: For the last time, I’M NOT TRYING TO GET WITH UR MOM
draalthedecent: yeah she’s definitely not
trollj: yeah ik but she might do something else sketchy
trollj: friends can break ur heart too draal
draalthedecent: that is true
draalthedecent: i will protect your mother from stricklander
draalthedecent: do you want me to kill him?
nomore: YOU CAN’T KILL WALTOLOMEW
tptobes: yeah then he’d be the grandpa THRICE removed; twice we disowned him and once he died
nomore: We can’t kill ppl ok we are the good guys
draalthedecent: well isn’t that great coming from you
nomore: i’m not the only one who tried to kill the trollhunter here so don’t act like i am
tptobes: I know you two are divorced and all, but can’t we at least TRY to get along?
dontblink: Ms. Nomura, you are supposed to be a mature adult. That is why you are in the group chat with the parents.
nomore: blinky we’ve discussed this, i’m the vodka aunt, i can act however i want
draalthedecent: So do I kill Strickler or not?
trollj: nah you can let him live
trollj: really just stop him from making any moves towards my mom
nomore: pfft as if draal’s gonna know when that happens
draalthedecent: oh, and you would?
nomore: better than you
draalthedecent: yeah bc your tragic backstory made it sound like you know sooooo much about human romance
nomore: it’s not about humans; it’s about a changeling! and who knows changeling culture better than another changeling?
tptobes: Wait, Draal knows Nomura’s Tragic Backstory? No fair!
trollj: So who all knows Nomura’s Tragic Backstory?
draalthedecent: and waltolomew, as you call him
nomore: I DIDN’T EXACTLY HAVE A CHOICE
nomore: CIRCUMSTANCES WERE ROUGH OKAY
nomore: Waltolomew only knows bc I needed him to know in order for me to stay alive basically
nomore: draal knows bc he was a level ∞ friend at one point
draalthedecent: what level friend am i now?
clairebear: that means we’re all higher bc the rest of us are at least level 10
draalthedecent: no it’s fine, i deserve it
draalthedecent: Out of curiosity, what level is Stricklander?
draalthedecent: that makes me feel better
trollj: HOLD UP
trollj: what level of friends are you with my mom?
nomore: idk probably like a 7
trollj: let’s not let that raise too high
nomore: okay whatever
Chapter 14: Everyone is Aromantic
June 8, 2018
draalthedecent sent a message to weird concoction
tap to view
draalthedecent: In an interesting turn of events, it appears Nomura was right
nomore: of course i was!
nomore: Wait, about what?
draalthedecent: I have no idea about human romance. At all. All I know is they ‘kiss’ which is weird. I don’t get it.
nomore: ur not alone
nomore: But also let me guess Waltolomew is dating Jim’s mom again?
trollj: DRAAL I TRUSTED YOU
draalthedecent: No! I’m just afraid Stricklander is definitely interested in pursuing that
draalthedecent: Like, right now
draalthedecent: He came over to the house but he didn’t know I was here
draalthedecent: It made for an interesting morning
nomore: Wait Waltolomew didn’t know you were alive again, did he?
draalthedecent: No he did not
trollj: JSAHKFGH PLEASE TELL ME YOU GOT A VIDEO OF HIS REACTION
draalthedecent: Unfortunately, no
nomore: jim pls say ur mom has security cameras in the house
trollj: unfortunately, no :/
draalthedecent: Anyways, if I’m picking up on Human Flirting correctly, I believe Jim’s mother is not as interested in Stricklander as he is in her.
trollj: thank goodness
nomore: yo draal can i come over and help crash the date
dontblink: I’m not sure this is a good idea...
nomore: Well either I crash the date even more or it turns into a double date so we’ll see
trollj: a double date with who dating who
trollj: nomura u dont even date ppl
nomore: neither does draal
clairebear: i’m pretty sure i heard you guys literally dated each other
draalthedecent: It was a mistake
nomore: but eh it’s true
nomore: We weren’t into the whole romance aspect of it though so I’m not quite sure it could really be considered dating…
dontblink: Fun fact! The humans have an interesting term called queerplatonic relationships!
dontblink: I did some research myself after Claire came out to us and I’ve found it’s very interesting. Many of the human terms have troll counterparts, but that one did not.
nomore: cool but i’ve got a not-date to crash so i’ll have to check on it later
draalthedecent: You can detect Human Flirting, right?
draalthedecent: then what are u even coming over for
nomore: I’ll just flirt with Jim’s mom myself
trollj: YOU CAN’T DO THAT
nomore: Why not? It took me decades to learn how to flirt! and now I can’t even put my skills to use?
trollj: THIS IS WHY CHANGELINGS NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM MY MOTHER
nomore: that’s honestly fair
nomore: Okay, fine, no flirting
nomore: We need to use my very extensive knowledge of Human Flirting to make sure Stricklander isn’t flirting, though
draalthedecent: “very extensive”
nomore: more extensive than urs
draalthedecent: That’s true
trollj: is there anyone there who knows anything about romance to stop strickler from getting with my mom AGAIN?!
draalthedecent: We can call Aaarrrgghh?
argh: won’t work.
argh: argh aromantic. like nomura.
nomore: cool! we are a bunch of useless aros!
nomore: We’re gonna have to rely on help from CHILDREN
dontblink: I would offer my help, but I believe myself to be on the aromantic spectrum as well.
nomore: kdsfgjlas where’s an alignment chart for the aros
nomore: disaster / functional / distinguished
theokaychangeling: If I may
theokaychangeling: Nomura is a disaster aro, Aaarrrgghh and Draal are functional aros (though Draal is on the line between functional and disaster sometimes), and Blinky is a distinguished aro
theokaychangeling: Bonus! Claire is a distinguished bi, Jim is a disaster, Eli is a disaster gay, Toby is a functional pan
tptobes: i do love being a usable kitchen utensil
trollj: I’m a disaster what????
theokaychangeling: You’re just a disaster
trollj: fair ig
pepperbuddy: haha mine’s accurate
clairebear: you fit right in with the other disaster gays; Simon Spier and Elena Alvarez
pepperbuddy: i’m honored they’re my heroes
clairebear: ik i’m op but Mood
nomore: lhdgsfahlsd stricklander started a group chat with draal and i to tell us off for interrupting the date
nomore: I told him draal was there before him and therefore he was interrupting
trollj: ROAST HIM
clairebear: SLAY QUEEN
June 8, 2018
mrstricklander added nomore and draalthedecent
mrsticklander: Why are you two here? You’re interrupting.
nomore: technically draal was there before you so technically ur interrupting
mrstricklander: I don’t care about your technicalities, Nomura.
draalthedecent: Technically, she’s right
mrstricklander: I don’t care about your technicalities either.
mrstricklander: What are you two even hoping to accomplish?
draalthedecent: We’re helping the Trollhunter
nomore: By protecting his mother
draalthedecent: Specifically from you
mrstricklander: And let me guess, Jim asked you to do this?
draalthedecent: He simply asked us to make sure you and his mother don’t engage in another romantic relationship
nomore: unfortunately we’re both useless aros so we have no idea what we’re doing
mrstricklander: good to know
draalthedecent: Though, even with my limited knowledge, I have to say I believe Jim’s mother is now more into Nomura than you
draalthedecent: Ah, I’m not as much of a useless aro as you thought!
nomore: You’re making that up
draalthedecent: I don’t think I am
nomore: sjafgahldsgf WHAT DO I DO
mrstricklander: This is unfair!
nomore: I’M GONNA GET BANNED FROM SEEING HER EVER AGAIN BC I ACCIDENTALLY BROKE HER HEART BY BEING AROMANTIC
draalthedecent: This is why you are the disaster aro
nomore: DRAAL HELP
draalthedecent: I don’t know what to do! I’m almost a disaster aro!
mrstricklander: You two really are useless.
nomore: yeah thanks we already covered that
nomore: Jim is going to run all the way back from Montana just to kill me
draalthedecent: On the bright side, he’ll probably kill Stricklander while he’s at it
mrstricklander: “the bright side”
nomore: shut up that definitely is a plus
nomore: CODE RED I THINK BARBARA IS COMING BACK FROM THE KITCHEN
mrstricklander: Oh good, we’ll all die before Jim gets back because he’s not here to cook anymore.
nomore: seriously shut up
draalthedecent: Stop texting, guys, she’s going to get suspicious
draalthedecent: And stop glaring at each other like you’re trying to kill each other with your eyes!
nomore: fine i’ll stare at barbara instead
draalthedecent: please don’t
draalthedecent: why are you two like this
Chapter 15: Walt & The Useless Aros
okay i did not realize how short this chapter was until i moved it from google docs to ao3 but it's too late to fix it now lol
June 8, 2018
mrstricklander sent a message to nomore , draalthedecent , argh , dontblink
mrstricklander: What are you four up to?
dontblink: I am currently leading the trolls to New Jersey in search of a new Heartstone.
mrstricklander: i MEAN what did Jim put you up to concerning his mother?
nomore: we literally already told you
draalthedecent: The Trollhunter asked me to protect his mother by preventing you and her from being in a relationship. That is all we’re trying to accomplish
nomore: And by the tone of your text, I’d say we’re succeeding
mrstricklander: It appears Draal was right.
draalthedecent: Wait when?
mrstricklander: Considering I’m the only one here who knows anything about human romance, I suppose it’s my duty to inform you that I do agree, Barbara seems to be more into Nomura than me.
nomore: please tell me this is a joke
dontblink: So would that make Master Jim’s mother bi?
mrstricklander: I suppose so.
nomore: guys STOP
nomore: THIS IS A HUGE PROBLEM
argh: disaster aro
nomore: YES I AM
draalthedecent named the chat disaster aros + waltolomew
nomore: thx for that
draalthedecent: You’re welcome
dontblink: So let me get this straight
nomore: that’s not gonna happen
dontblink: Draal came back from the dead, and he’s currently at Master Jim’s house. The morning after he was revived, Stricklander came over to the house in order to speak with Barbara, though he most likely had an ulterior motive, which was to make romantic advances towards Barbara. He was surprised by Draal being there, though, because he didn’t know Draal had been raised from the dead. Then, Nomura heard Stricklander was at Master Jim’s house, so she decided to come over as well to help Draal crash the not-date, but they weren’t sure if it was working or not because they both know next to nothing about romance. Stricklander, however, does know some stuff about romance, and has picked up on the hints Barbara is dropping that she is over him and now has potential feelings for Nomura, who can’t reciprocate them because she is aromantic.
nomore: That about covers it
nomore: Anyway, this is a Problem
nomore: no one tell jim
mrstricklander: But why not?
nomore: i will gladly kill you
draalthedecent: You told me yesterday we couldn’t kill him because we’re the good guys
mrstricklander: Being on the good side is treacherous sometimes, isn’t it?
nomore: Only when it means I can’t kill you