Work Header

The Secret Social Life Of A Genius

Chapter Text

Despite Doctor Spencer Reid's intelligence, he had always been a people person. He had had his fair share of ups and downs over the years that meant when he joined the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit, Spencer had decided to act like a person with a high IQ. But this didn't mean he was planning on giving up his avid social life, he just wanted people at work to treat him like a little kid, rather than give them an excuse to pick on him.

Spencer was sitting on a bar stool surrounded by his 6 best friends. The group consisted of three girls and four boys (Spencer included) and they had stuck with him through everything that had happened. Not once had they questioned his judgement in regards to anything and he knew that they always had his back no matter what the situation.

"Who wants more shots!" Iris shouted. Iris had shoulder length black hair and large hazel eyes that could melt anyone's heart. To put it simply, Iris was a party animal and they loved her for it. She could drink anyone under the table and then order another round.

There was a chorus of laughter from the group, but no one argued as the black haired beauty ordered shots of tequila for the group. Spencer knew he was going to regret this in the morning, tequila always gave him the worst hangovers. They were sitting in a line at the bar they frequented as the shots were placed in front of each person.

'3, 2, 1...." Iris shouted as everyone downed their shot and proceeded to slam the glass onto the table in front of them as the alcohol burnt their throats.

"Next round's on me guys" James called not two minutes after Iris's round of shots. The world was starting to sway, which was never a good thing. The young genius knew it wouldn't be long before he started to do karaoke.

Spencer ordered a vodka and coke then turned to his friends.

"Don't look Lily, but that guy is totally checking you out" whispered Mandy to the girl seated on her other side. Mandy was sweet and reminded the young genius of JJ in regards to looks and personality. She was the mother of the group, always making sure everyone was okay and that no one hurt her friends. Mandy had long blonde hair which stopped halfway down her back and bright blue eyes.

Lily, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. She had short bleach blonde hair and dark brown eyes. Lily was nice once you got to know her, but to anyone else, she was mean and bitchy. She had multiple piercings and liked to wear ripped jeans. Not that anyone minded, they were all extremely different, which, in a way, made them even closer friends.

Lily casually glanced over her shoulder to where a man was standing, staring at Lily. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't doing it subtly. She hated people staring. Giving a smile that can only be described as pure evil, she jumped off her bar stool and headed his way. This man obviously thought this was his lucky day. How wrong he will be thought Spencer casually to himself, it was nothing he hadn't seen before and he secretly loved the fact that Lily defended herself against creeps like the man she was confronting now.

"Oh what have I done" Mandy groaned.

"Don't worry M, she would have noticed eventually, and it would have been worse if she had had any more drinks" Spencer replied, trying to make his friend feel better.

"True, but I think she might get us kicked out this time"

They both watched as the scene unfolded before them. The guy had said something which had offended Lily and it looked as if things were about to kick off any minute.

"Who's Lily gone to fight with this time" Caleb asked, noticing the empty seat. Mandy just pointed.

"Man, he must have really pissed her off" James commented, they were all watching now and it looked as if she was just seconds away from throwing the first punch. All of a sudden four burly guys walked over to where Lily was standing.

"Oh shit, looks like we're going to have to save the day" Ben grinned, openly enjoying the chance to get into a real fight.

On one hand, Spencer was internally sighing because he saw too much violence in his job every single day, but on the other hand, he was as excited as the rest of the group to get some action.

They all got up from the bar, hurriedly paying the barman for their drinks and marching over towards the men. Lily was pretending to look like she was scared as the guys teased her. As the group approached they could hear the taunts more clearly.

Spencer decided to number them because they all looked the same and he didn't know any of their names.

"I bet she's desperate for a good fuck" guy number 1 on the far right jeered. He was the one who had been staring at Lily earlier, Spencer automatically profiled him as being desperate for attention, his parents had probably had a messy divorce when he was younger and still felt like he deserved all the attention.

"Yeah, she's just another little slut" the man next to him, number 2, laughed, Reid decided that he was a sheep, just following the crowd. This man probably had lots of older siblings and was used to just doing what they said.

Just as the man had said this, Ben tapped him on his shoulder. Now man number 2 was probably about 6 ft of pure muscle, but he had nothing on Ben. Ben was 6 ft 4 in and was a boxer. Sandy blonde hair covered his pale blue eyes, and the white t-shirt hugged his figure, showing off the man's muscly torso. Number 2 had a body made of muscles, but Ben's body was made for muscles.

All five men turned to look at the mismatched group. Smiling, man number three (or in Spencer's mind, slimy creep) sneered at them,

"Do you want your precious whore back"

Having been trained for hostile situations, Dr. Spencer Reid immediately stepped up to the challenge. His profiling skills told him that this man had a god complex and that he more than likely had issues with his mother.

"Yes, we'd like our friend back, please" Spencer said the last part sarcastically making it clear that he didn't need permission to leave with Lily.

Number 3 snarled at him and, never breaking eye contact, said,

"Does she fuck you too?"

Spencer smiled, he was going to love the next part. Leaning in really close to the creep, he whispered in the other man's ear,

"Mommy obviously didn't teach you any manners" laughing, Spencer jumped back, just in time as number 3 swung his fist wildly at the profiler.

"Don't you say anything about my mother"

"Struck a nerve did I big boy" Spencer taunted, just like they had been taunting Lily a few minutes ago. The large man swung his fist again at Reid, but he ducked nimbly out of the way. All around him was chaos, the whole group had sprung to action and were now fighting the men as if it was the last thing they would ever do.

This time, when the man swung his arm, Spencer wasn't quick enough to get out of the way. The fist caught him right in his face, or more precisely, his eye. It was going to leave one hell of a bruise. It was the FBI agent's turn to lunge as he expertly aimed his clenched fist and the other man's jaw. Having hit his target, he swung again and hit his nose, the crunch that resulted from the connection meant something was definetely broken.

Number 3 cried out in pain, which had only caused him to get more angry. Suddenly nervous, he looked around to see that all his friends were busy, caught up in their own fights. They had attracted quite a crowd and he knew it wouldn't be long before the police were called. He tried to figure out the exact time, but the alcohol was making it hard to focus so he could only guess at around 8 minutes since it was a Friday night.

"I'm going to enjoy hurting you" the creep smiled. That smile was the stuff of nightmares, it was fully of crooked teeth and too much saliva.

For the next few minutes both men fought like they were in a boxing ring. Throwing punches and dodging out of the way. It was a pretty even fight considering Spencer's lack of muscles and the other man's lack of intelligence. Still, they would both have quite a few bruises in the morning.

8 minutes had gone by exactly when they heard sirens. Realising they needed to get out before they were arrested, both parties forgot about the fight and scrabbled for the nearest exits. Reid managed to find his group and lead them to an exit he had noticed during his first time at the bar. He was an FBI agent after all and always wanted to be able to make his escape as quickly as possible if anything were ever to happen. For once he was glad of his cautiousness and so were his friends as they stumbled out of the bar and into an empty back street. In a silent agreement they started to run, putting as much distance between themselves and the bar as possible.


Lounging on his sofa, Spencer pressed the ice pack to his bruised face in a hopeless attempt to stop the swelling. It was too late, he knew it and so did his friends who were doing the same thing to their bruises, but it felt better than nothing.

"I'm hungry" Caleb moaned from where he was lying on the carpet. James was passed out next to him after he had decided to have more shots when they got back to Spencer's flat to celebrate escaping the police.

"There's some leftover pizza in the fridge" Spencer told the young man who, at the sound of the word pizza, jumped up off the floor and ran through to the kitchen. They all laughed, Caleb could and would eat anything

"I'm so tired" Iris moaned leaning into the chair she was snuggled on.

"Well you can all stay here, not that you were planning on leaving anyway" Spencer joked. He felt bad that he couldn't be like this with the members of the BAU, but he knew it was for the best. Although they had all accepted him as one of their own, they all liked to baby him, and he didn't know how they would react if he took away his feigned innocence. If he was no longer the BAU baby.

The friends continued to laugh and joke around until one by one, they all fell asleep in Spencer's living room.


Spencer Reid awoke to the sound of his door unlocking. His head was pounding, his mouth was dry and his face and ribs really hurt. However, these things didn't matter as he realised what the sound of the front door unlocking really meant. There were only a few people who had the key to his flat. The members of the BAU and his friends, but since all his friends were currently passed out around him that meant...

This was not good.

"Hey pretty boy" Morgan called as the door opened, squeaking on it's hinges. Then came the sound of footsteps as Derek Morgan took one, then two, then three steps into his flat. Spencer had yet to open his eyes, but he knew from where Morgan was standing that he could see everything.

Reluctantly Spencer opened his eyes.

Morgan was standing three steps into his flat, door still open, facing one end of the sofa that Spencer, Mandy and Ben had been sharing for the night.

What caused Spencer to laugh and draw attention to himself was Morgan's face. In all the years working with the man, he had never seen anything like it. His mouth was opened and his eyes had widened to their full capacity, forcing his eyebrows further up his forehead. This was obviously not what Derek Morgan had expected to see when he had come round Reid's flat. In fact why had Morgan come round on a Saturday morning?

Slowly, Spencer shifted his weight as he began to remove himself from the sofa, which was proving to be difficult due to the fact that Mandy and Ben were still peacefully asleep.

Once he was up, he raised one finger to his lips to indicate silence as he led the older profiler through to the kitchen, shutting the front door on the way.

"Who are they?" Morgan demanded as soon as they were situated in the kitchen and Reid had a large cup of coffee in front of him.

"Friends" Spencer said, giving nothing away. He was enjoying this more than he should have given the fact he was very hungover.

"Okay, what happened to your face?" Morgan sounded angry, although the genius wasn't sure whether he was angry at whoever had hurt him or the whole situation.

"We got into a bar fight" Morgan scoffed. He's angry at the fact I have other friends, Reid thought. He's angry because I managed to hide this from him.

"Believe what you want" he said nochalantly, taking a sip of coffee, "but I don't lie".

"You want me to believe that you" he emphasised with his hands, "have a large group of friends that I don't know about and that in your spare time you go drinking and get into fights, yeah right" Morgan snorted.

"Actually" a female voice from the entrance to the kitchen said "that is exactly what happens" Iris sauntered into the kitchen.

"There's coffee in the pot if you want it"

"Thanks sugar, you read my mind" Iris grabbed a cup from the cupboard and poured herself some of the caffeinated beverage.

"Next you'll be telling me that this is your girlfriend" Derek said sounding cruel, Spencer had hoped that when the team eventually found out about his social life that they would be alright with it, but Derek Morgan just sounded offended at the idea of Reid having a life outside of the BAU.

Iris couldn't contain her laughter as it echoed around the flat. Spencer was laughing as well, because the thought of dating Iris was just too funny. Iris was like a sister to him. Morgan just sat there staring, looking from Spencer to Iris and back again, the confusion clear on his face.

"What's so funny" James groaned rubbing his head as he walked into the room.

"He" Iris choked out between fits of giggles, "thinks we're dating". This was followed by another burst of laughter, and even James cracked a smile, still wincing and rubbing his head. When the laughter had died down, Spencer pointed to where Iris was standing,

"There's some coffee in the pot"

James gratefully poured himself a cup and seated himself next to Spencer at the table, Iris was still leaning against the counter observing the situation.

"So who are you" James asked

"Derek Morgan"

"I'm sorry man" James said grinning, "being stuck with two first names, that's harsh"

This cause Spencer, Iris and James to all start laughing again.

"James, that was rude" Mandy chided walking into the kitchen, followed by Ben, Caleb and Lily all looking worse for where.

"Sorry mom"

Spencer stood up from the table deciding it was time to find some painkillers. He left the room, hoping they could all play nicely until he returned. Walking into the bathroom, he caught sight of himself in the mirror, there was a large bruise that covered his right eye. 'So that's why it's so hard to open' he thought to himself. Opening the medicine cabinet he caught sight of the numerous bottles of medication he refused to take. Over the years Spencer had been provided with; antidepressants, anti-anxiety and various other pills that were supposed to make him feel better. However, they just stopped his mind from working and proceeded to make him too careless. He didn't need them, he had his friends. Grabbing the bottle of the strongest painkillers he could find he went back to the kitchen.

"Look what I've got" Spencer said as he entered the room, shaking the pill bottle. Everyone in the room turned to him, his friends grinning in relief, all of them probably regretting the shots of tequila. And James was probably regretting all the extra drinks that seemed like a really good idea at the time.

Spencer Reid sat down in his seat again, popping the cap of the bottle and shaking a couple out. He then passed the bottle to James who looked like he needed it the most.

"So, Derek, what are you doing here this fine morning" Mandy asked, trying to break the awkward silence that had settled over them after they had all had some painkillers.

"Err" Morgan started rubbing a hand over his head, "I was gonna see if Reid wanted to grab some breakfast with me and Garcia"

Spencer grimaced at the thought of explaining this to Garcia. It was going to be difficult to explain how her 'junior G-man' wasn't so junior.

"I should probably call her" Morgan mumbled to himself getting out his phone and walking out of the room.

"Well he seems..." Mandy began, clearly unable to express how she felt about the older profiler.

"Like a dick" Lily finished, reaching over and taking a sip of Spencer's coffee.

"I can't believe you two like so much sugar in your coffee" Caleb said, unable to grasp the concept of how someone could drink something that was basically just sugar.

"Yeah and how do you drink coffee with milk in it" Lily replied, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"Hey, don't be mean about my baby" Caleb nursed the cup in his arms.

"So you really work with that guy huh?" James asked, turning to Spencer.

"Yeah" he shrugged, "Morgan's actually quite nice when you get to know him"

"Sure he his" Lily said sarcastically rolling her eyes.

Iris interrupted: "What's with calling each other by your last names?"

"At work we have to call each other by our last names, so I guess it seems weird calling him Derek"

James snorted "that is an unfortunate name"

"Yeah, totally unlike James Cockman" Ben replied.

"That's unfair" James glared at Ben but stopped talking.

"Okay Babygirl, see you soon"

The group looked at each other smirking at Morgan's pet name for Penelope.

"I spoke to Garcia and I couldn't stop her from deciding to come round"

"She is a force to be reckoned with" Spencer laughed.

"You can say that again, she threatened that if I didn't let her come round she would empty my back account"

"I bet she wasn't joking either he grinned. It felt like they were back to normal, even if it was only for a minute. Spencer valued Derek's friendship but he needed his other friends. If he was forced to chose, Spencer Reid knew where his loyalties lay.

He just hoped Penelope Garcia accepted Spencer's friends better than Morgan had, who was currently staring at Lily. He prayed to God this wasn't going to be a repeat of last night.