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Love in the Face of Idiocy

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So they slept together occasionally. That didn’t mean anything. They were adults, and neither of them were unattractive, and it was convenient. Romance didn’t even enter into it.

Damn Bianchi and her romance obsession.

“Oh Hayato, I’m so happy you found love young. I’ve only ever wanted the best for you, little brother,” she said sappily as she pulled him into a choking hug. He gasped, trying to claw his way out of her grasp.

“What’re you talking about, you crazy woman?!” he growled as he patted his suit down to remove any wrinkles caused by the sudden attack of affection.

“Why, this of course!” She brandished a magazine and waved it in his face until he grabbed it irritably and read the title of the article it was opened to.

“Couples Bucket List? What does this have to do with anything?”

“I saw you reading it earlier, Hayato. Don’t think you have to hide it from me, I’ll never turn you away because of who you love,” she proclaimed dramatically, clutching his lapels. He tried to brush her away to no avail.

“Look, I don’t know how you know about that, but love doesn’t enter into it. It’s an understanding between coworkers, that’s all,” he gritted out as his face turned red.

Bianchi gave him a knowing look, made all the more aggravating because she was wrong , before turning dramatically away. “Whatever you say, dear Hayato. But remember, the bud of love can only bloom when given sweet nourishment and delicate care.”

Hayato was left standing in the middle of the corridor, befuddled, holding the stupid magazine, and wondering if that had been an innuendo, or if his sister was just batshit.


For days, he hadn’t been able to put it out of his head. The question would lurk in the back of his thoughts, waiting until he’d almost forgotten about it, then strike. Was he in a relationship with the Baseball Idiot? Surely not, they just slept together, they didn’t do couple-y things.


Number 36. Horseback Ride on the Beach

“This isn’t what I had in mind when I told you to make sure we had a getaway vehicle, you moron!” Hayato screamed, in a not at all high pitched voice, from where he was clutching onto Takeshi for dear life. Bullets were hitting the sand around them, spraying it into the air as they charged down the beach.

His very valid criticism was met with laughter, of course. “Mah, I didn’t know you had a preference. You didn’t say earlier,” Takeshi said with a smile. Hayato couldn’t even see his face, since he was riding behind him on the horse, but he just knew there was a big smile on the idiot’s face. He could feel a vein in his forehead throbbing.

“I didn’t think I needed to, it should be understood that when I said getaway vehicle I meant a car, not a fucking horse! ” Hayato devolved into Italian curses, which garnered more laughter.

“Haha, it’s rude to talk about people in languages they can’t understand Hayato.”

“That might be true, but don’t even fucking try to tell me you don’t speak Italian, you-” Hayato’s angry shouting was cut off when Takeshi spoke again.

“So would this be a bad time to tell you I don’t know how to drive a horse?” The idiot didn’t even have the decency to sound ashamed.

“You don’t drive a- wait, what did you just say?!”

If they both made it out of there alive, it would be a miracle.


Number 48. Cliff jump while holding hands

The screams had died down behind them, leaving only burning wreckage behind. Unfortunately, their bikes had been casualties of an explosion, and one of the guys had gotten off a signal for reinforcements before meeting a swift end on Takeshi’s blade. They’d been forced to run through the forest at the back to escape.

“Ch, I don’t know what those bastards thought they’d get, doing sick shit like that on Vongola turf,” Hayato huffed as they ran.

“Haha, yeah, it was pretty dumb,” Takeshi answered with a grin. His voice abruptly darkened for his next words. “They’re lucky it was us that was sent to dispatch them and not Mukuro. He doesn’t take kindly to human experimentation. He’d have their brains leaking out their ears.”

Hayato couldn’t suppress the shiver that ran down his back at that tone of voice. It always did something for him when the Baseball Idiot got into one of his dangerous moods.

They abruptly pulled to a stop when the ground they had been running along dropped sharply off into a cliff that ended in a large lake.

“Huh, I don’t remember this being in the area maps we received, do you?” Takeshi asked, ruffling his hair in consternation.

“No, it wasn’t. Must be pretty recent. How to get around…” Hayato wracked his brain to find a way out of their situation.

“We could just jump,” Takeshi suggested nonchalantly, his smile growing when disbelieving eyes were turned on him.

“That’s at least a two story drop, there’s no way we’d make that, plus we have no idea if there’s rocks at the bottom. How in the world do you think we’d survive?”

“I think I can use Rain flames to get us down safely. I mean, in theory.”

“In theory?! Theory isn’t gonna mean shit when we’re splatted-” Hayato’s rant was cut off when Takeshi grabbed his hand and leaned in for a quick kiss.

“Trust me?” he asked with a warm smile.

Hayato huffed. The idiot already knew the answer to that question. He tightened his hand, and the next moment, they jumped.


Number 63. Kiss in the rain

“Ugh, it’s been raining for days. I hate the fucking rain,” Hayato grumbled as he walked across the courtyard. There was no point to ducking under an awning to escape the downpour, he was already soaked.

Strong arms encircled his waist and a familiar body molded itself to his back. Warm breath tickled his ear.

“But you love fucking the Rain, right?” Takeshi asked teasingly, a wiggle of his hips making absolutely sure Hayato couldn’t miss his meaning.

“Really? That’s the line you’re going with? Try a little harder, Baseball Idiot,” was the snide reply.

“Aww, c’mon Hayato, I just got back from my mission. I missed you,” Takeshi whispered into his ear, leaving light kisses on his earlobe and starting down his neck.

Hayato ruthlessly suppressed the smile threatening to show. “You should go to bed if you just got back, idiot.”

“But Hayatooo, I’ve been thinking about you all week,” he whined piteously.

“If you’ve been waiting for a week, you can wait a few more hours. Some important paperwork just came in regarding an alliance Juudaime has been working towards,” Hayato told him firmly.

Takeshi huffed, clearly realizing he wasn’t going to win that argument. “Fine, but at least give me a little sample to tide me over.”

Before Hayato could ask what he meant, he was being turned around and pulled to Takeshi’s chest. Warm hands slid slowly down his sides, over his hips, and landed on his ass, where they pulled him even closer and copped a generous feel while his lips were caught in a kiss.

The kiss didn’t last for more than a moment, but it was enough to leave him breathless. Takeshi smirked down at him. “Alright, I’m off to bed. I’ll see you later, Hayato.” With a wink, he was off, and Hayato was left to hurry inside out of the rain. The sooner he finished with work, the sooner he could teach that idiot a lesson about teasing him.

Number 61. Slow dance

The Christmas Gala was packed, just like all Vongola events were. Juudaime would be happy, he’d organized the event specifically to raise funds for charity.

The guardians were keeping watch around the ballroom (excluding Hibari, who Juudaime had tasked with patrolling the grounds for the sake of everyone). There usually was at least one bastard willing to try something at these things, but so far there’d been no trouble. Maybe it was the holiday spirit infecting everyone and making them practice goodwill to all men or something. Hayato didn’t really care, so long as no one ruined the event Juudaime had worked so hard on. His fingers itched for some dynamite at the thought of some bastard trying just that.

“May I have this dance?” A deep voice asked from beside him, and he whipped around, ready to turn the invitation down with prejudice before he realized who was asking.

“Oh, it’s you. I thought it was some other idiot,” Hayato said, catching Takeshi’s smile and cursing his fair skin when he felt himself flush lightly.

“You’re seeing other idiots? I thought you were a one-idiot kinda man,” Takeshi teased, using Hayato’s spluttering as an opportunity to lead him onto the dance floor and wrap his arms around his neck, encouraging Hayato to put his own around Takeshi’s waist.

“Most guys here would make it some kinda dick measuring contest, trying to figure out who could lead,” Hayato said, tightening his arms as he resigned himself to dancing. Takeshi snorted, burying his face in Hayato’s hair to muffle it.

“Yeah, but most guys here can probably dance better than me,” Takeshi said with a smile.

Hayato rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t be too sure of that, idiot.”

“Mmm, your idiot,” was the whispered reply. He almost said something sarcastic, but instead decided it was a better idea to kiss Takeshi until they were both out of breath.


Damn it, they were a couple. He hated it when Bianchi was right. She was always so smug about it.

Biting his lip in indecision, he decided to hell with it and shot Takeshi a text.

10:16am, Me: hey, you wanna go out for dinner w me tonight??

10:16am, Baseball Idiot: YES :DDDD

Snorting, he turned his phone off and got back to work. It was a busy day, so he’d have to hurry if he wanted to finish in time to get ready for his date.