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A Letter

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“Letter to the man who broke my heart

You know who I am. I am the girl you never talk to. I am the one on the team who feels the most useless, without any powers, abilities or intelligence. I am the one who can only provide emotional support, who can never really help during critical moments. 

You know who I am. I am the girl you never tried to get to know. I am the one who once tried to bring you lunch because you over worked yourself, only to find out you never even touched it. I am the one who tried to clean up your messy desk, only for you to yell at me the next day for touching your stuff.

You know who I am. I am the girl you tried to apologize to a few hours after screaming at me that I never do anything right, that I have no business being in this team. I am the one you broke when all I tried to do was help you. I am the one you hurt because you don’t know how to be nice.

You know who I am. I am the girl who still likes you even if you’re a jerk. I am the one who can’t stand being so close to you because you move away from me like I’m poison. I am the one who blushes like an idiot under your gaze because you make me feel so stupid.

And I know who you are. You are the man whose life was shattered when he lost his daughter. You are the man who would do anything to get her back. You are the man that has no idea how to communicate his feelings properly. You are the man who stole my heart unknowingly, and then proceeded to break it into little pieces as you tear me down bit by bit.

To the man who broke my heart, I am without a doubt the most feeble woman on Earth because after everything, I don’t like you, I am in love with you. Even if you hate me.”

You wrote angrily in your journal as tears were streaming down your face. You were hiding in the lounge because you knew no one would come in for a while since there was an currently an attack so the whole team was busy. Deep down, you knew this was a childish thing to do, but you needed to blow off some steam and this was the only way you could think of.

Your journal was filled with different entries. There was some notes about the team, what they liked, disliked. It wasn’t a diary though, because you never really talked about your day or whatever. This was only to keep tabs on your teammates… If you could call them that.

You met Cisco a long time ago, on a blind date that your mutual friend set you up. It didn’t really go bad, but there was never any sparks. You guys tried dating for a while, until you both agreed that being friends was for the best.

Eventually, when he kept cancelling your friend-dates, you realized something was up and that’s when you discovered he was working with The Flash. You liked to hang out around sometimes, whenever you felt lonely… Which was pretty often.

“(Y/N) can you bring me that book I lent you the other day?” Cisco’s voice came booming through the intercoms, talking urgently.

You wiped the tears off your face as your eyes scanned the room for the item he asked for. You finally located it on the counter and got up quickly to pick it up and ran out of the lounge, leaving your things behind.

———

A sigh came out of your mouth as you walked back toward the lounge. Apparently the meta they’ve been fighting was finally caught and Barry was on his way back with Joe so everything was good. You still couldn’t help this tight feeling in your chest, the same feeling you had whenever they successfully completed a mission that you didn’t contribute anything to.

You remember the first time you assisted to one of their celebration after capturing a meta. You felt such pride to be part of their winning, but eventually the feeling went away and it was replaced by a hollow feeling.

As you turned and made your way into the lounge, you were so busy staring at the floor that you didn’t see anyone there. You only realized his presence when you were 4 feet away from knocking right into him.

“Wh-…” You looked up in surprise. 

You opened your mouth to greet Harry, but when you saw your journal in his hands, you felt lost for words. You stared at him, frozen, your face going pale as you wondered if he read any of it. He stared back at you, his blue eyes looking hurt and confused, but also sad.

“You think I hate you?” His voice was low, barely above a whisper.

Your heart skipped a beat as panic took over you. Your mind was racing rapidly, trying to come up with a lie to cover up the truth, but you knew there was no escape. 

“Yes.” You whispered back, swallowing dryly.

He closed his eyes at your answer, and for a moment you thought he was going to get angry. He often did that. He would close his eyes and take a deep breath in before yelling at Cisco. You prepared yourself for his fury, but when he opened his eyes again, he looked at you differently. Nicely. Lovingly.

“I-… I know I haven’t been really nice to you… But the truth is, I think…” Harry let out a frustrated sigh as he passed his hands through his hair. You looked at him with confusion. “I’ve been so… stressed… with Zoom and everything, that I took out my anger on you. Don’t mistake it for hate. It’s the opposite. I… I am scared to admit to myself that I have feelings for you too, because it’s not right. I need to concentrate on Jesse, but every damn time you are near me all I want to do is be closer to you. So I push you away. That’s why I haven’t been nice to you. I am so sorry if I caused you this much pain, I never wanted to hurt you.”

You tried to understand what he was telling you, but you were extremely confused. A small frown appeared on your face as he spoke. Everything he said seemed to contradict itself.

Harry threw your journal on the couch and took a step toward you, but you took one back by reflex. He groaned before cautiously taking a few more, his eyes locked on you. He lifted a hesitant hand up to your cheek, his thumb gently rubbing your cheekbones. You stood still, afraid that if you moved, he would run away or disappear. Harry’s eyes searched yours for a moment before coming closer and closing the gap between the two of you. His lips softly grazed on yours first, testing the waters. You closed your eyes, lost in the moment of expectation. Harry finally gave in, his mouth avidly tasting yours. The kiss felt hungry, as if the both of you have been starving for this for a long time now. You reached for his neck with your arms, wrapping them around him to pull your body against his. His hands found your waist first before slowly making their way down to your hips and then to your lower back. He held you tightly as his tongue slipped out to lick your lower lip. You granted him access, your tongue welcoming his for the first time. You moaned into his mouth, making him squeeze you against his body more. Harry’s tongue wandered around, discovering everything he’s been wanting to know since he first met you. You finally broke away from the kiss, your lips a little swollen from the intensity of it. You looked up into his perfect face, happy to see his eyes still closed but a gorgeous smile on his lips. You smiled back when he opened his eyes.

“Now do you believe me when I say I don’t hate you?” He murmured breathlessly.

Your heart fluttered at his words, and in response, you pull him back towards you for another passionate kiss.