The flickering of the candles that stood on the table in the middle of his room drew Raphael’s attention as soon as he entered the room. Simon who was standing beside the neatly set table smiled sweetly at his boyfriend standing in the doorway frozen. He knew that Raphael wasn’t the best at reacting to big romantic gestures.
Simon walked up to Raphael and pulled him into a hug, the tension that had gathered in his shoulders melted away and he wound his arms around Simon’s waist. He buried his face further into Simon’s neck as Simon moved in slow circles onto his back.
“So bad I don’t even want to think about it now that I’ve seen what’s in front of me. I just want to enjoy this.”
“The dinner?” Simon replied, really confused. They weren’t really gonna eat, just drink some blood while sitting at the table on their own romantic bubble. Raphael chuckled at Simon, pulling away softly. Looking into his eyes.
“No, you. Time with you.” Simon smiled, as much as Raphael couldn’t handle the big romantic gestures, it was more the surprise that got him. Once his brain was caught up with the circumstances he would return to his charming self.
“Come on, let’s sit.” Raphael let himself get pulled to the table. Once seated Simon handed him a wine glass of blood. He smiled back and they clinked their glasses together.
As the night moved on and they got tired Simon stood up from the table. They had been talking while holding hands and enjoying some blood, but eventually a silence fell upon them and they started staring at the moon. The beauty of the moon felt so romantic that Simon had gotten the best idea.
He walked over to the vintage radio that he had found in an old shop and given to Raphael as a thanks for everything he had done for him. He switched between the stations until he found one with calm music. It didn’t take him long since the world was asleep and the people still awake didn’t want to hear any hectic music.
Raphael had stayed seated and looked at Simon confused but with a small smile playing on his lips. Simon walked over to him and extended his hand. Raphael rolled his eyes fondly at Simon’s idea but gave his hand anyway. He let himself be pulled up and guided to the middle of the room. Simon pulled him in close, one hand on his waist the other in Raphael’s hand. He swayed them slowly from side to side.
“I’m sorry.” Raphael eventually whispered into the night, the insecurities he’d been feeling for a while finally pouring out.
“What for, love?”
“For being like this.”
“What, a vampire? I’m one too.” Raphael stopped swaying and pulled back more.
“Simon, I’m serious.”
“So am I Raph, I don’t know what you’re sorry about.”
“For being asexual. For not being able to give you what you want!” Simon was shocked, to say the least, he hadn’t expected to figure out that this was still bothering Raphael.
“Babe, I told you once before. It doesn’t matter to me what sexuality you have as long as I’ve got you.” Raphael adverted his eyes.
“Raphael look at me.” Simon lifted Raphael’s chin up with his fingers, leaving the vampire no choice but to look into his eyes.
“I love you, Raph. All of you. The fact that you cook dinner for your sister even though she doesn’t remember you. The fact that you’re asexual. The fact that you care a lot about your friends but you don’t show. The fact that you’re biromantic. The fact that you’re a vampire. The fact that you took me to Clary because you hoped she wouldn’t let me die. I love you, Raphael. I’d rather spend forever with you and not have sex than spend it with someone who will have sex.” Simon pulled Raphael into his chest and ran his fingers through the vampire’s hair.
“I love you too, so much,” Raphael whispered, taking a few deep breaths, before pushing Simon back a bit. Out of reflex Simon’s hands automatically went to Raphael’s cheeks. His thumb skimming over his cheekbones.
“I love you,” Raphael said before biting his lip. Something he did if he wondered if his idea was actually a good idea.
“I love you too. But babe, what’s wrong?”
“I want to try something I’ve never tried before but I feel like maybe it’s something I want to try with you.”
“As long as it doesn’t involve sacrificing and death I’m game.”
“Can you kiss me?” Raphael grew even more nervous when a confused look found it’s way on Simon’s face.
“Babe, I don’t want you to feel pressured to do this.”
“Simon, I trust you with my life. I also trust you with my first kiss.”
“Your first kiss? That’s a big deal.”
“Yeah, and I love you and that’s a big deal too.”
“Are you completely sure?”
“A hundred per cent?”
“Oh my, Simon just kiss me!” And that’s exactly what Simon did. His hands found Raphael’s cheeks again and he slowly leant in. Slowly enough to let Raphael stop him but fast enough to make Raphael just a little bit more nervous.
Raphael held his eyes closed for a bit more after Simon pulled away. It wasn’t that he hated the feeling but it did make him nervous is a bad way. He hoped that with this kiss Simon wouldn’t have any expectations.
“Babe, are you okay?”
“You seriously overuse the word babe, love.” Simon let out a laugh as Raphael finally opened his eyes.
“I’m fine,” Raphael told him when he saw that the worried look was still present.
“I just don’t know how I feel about it.”
“That’s okay. And not to ruin the mood but I’m getting kinda tired. Wanna go to bed?” Raphael nodded and turned to his closet to take his suit off and change in some sweats and a teeshirt. Simon followed him shortly behind, the only thing he did differently was the fact that he pulled on his star-wars pyjama pants instead of the grey sweats Raphael was wearing.
Raphael put out the candles before going over to his bathroom to join Simon in front of the mirror to brush their teeth. Simon pulled silly faces to the mirror that made Raphael laugh and the tension he felt from the kiss slowly decreased. After he spat out his toothpaste he couldn’t help but ask the question burning on his tongue.
“What if this was the last and only kiss we shared?” Simon rolled his eyes fondly, spitting out the toothpaste himself and grabbing Raphael’s hand.
“I wouldn’t care as long as I got you.” Raphael smiled and pressed a kiss into Simon’s cheek, whispering a soft thank you before pulling Simon to bed with him. Cuddling up to him.
“Good night, I love you.” He said, the soft movements of Simon's hands on his waist and in his hair lulling him to sleep. Simon pressed a kiss into his boyfriend's hair before whispering a good night back.
Maybe Raphael didn’t believe it was okay yet, but he made it his life missions to convince Raphael that he’s perfect the way he is.