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The Power of Yeet (or alternatively, How Peter Parker Saved the galaxy with a Vine Reference)

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Peter Parker was panicking. It wasn’t just because he had essentially upped and left his field trip bus without permission before stowing away onto an unidentified flying aircraft donut alongside his idol and mentor, Mr. Tony Stark a.k.a. Iron Man in order to save a doctor, Sorcerer Supreme and Master of the Mythical Arts from an alien that vaguely reminded him of the lovechild between Voldemort and Squidward. It also wasn’t because he was literally on another planet light years away from everyone he knew and loved with a bunch of aliens as company and of course, Mr. Stark and Doctor Strange. These aliens were definitely not bad though.

Meeting the Guardians of the freaking Galaxy was an experience that was unbelievably cool and finding out that the captain was a fellow human who shared his name made this even more awesome. Drax was fun to be around and Peter could already tell that sarcasm was as foreign to him just as bluntness was natural to him. Mantis creeped him out but in a good way because who wouldn’t want to be able to know what others were feeling? Nebula was cool just on the basis that she was a space assassin and made completely out of metal even though she was alive.

Of course, they didn’t really get off on the right foot what with Mr. Peter Quill, Star Lord and Captain of the Guardians of the Galaxy whom Peter decided to call Big Peter in his head and the others thinking they were working for the guy who wanted to kill half of the freaking universe but still, they were able to move past wrong assumptions and make an awesome plan to save the universe and protect The Time Stone of which Doctor Strange was apparently the protector of, being the Sorcerer Supreme and Master of Mystical Arts.

But Peter was going off track though. Big Peter was ignoring his plan because apparently, the giant purple guy who kind of reminded him of wrestlers killed his own adopted daughter who was the love of Big Peter’s life. Big mood to be honest because of you know, the Vulture Incident but Big Peter needed to give him and Mr. Stark enough time to pull the gauntlet from raisin wrestler’s hand! He was going crazy attacking the Mad Titan and Mantis was struggling to keep ahold of weird, ripped Barney’s head in order to work her weird and crazy cool empathy powers.

They’d been doing so well what with the coordinated attacks and Peter was honestly in awe of the fact that he was even there, fighting alongside the freaking Guardians of the Galaxy, the Sorcerer Supreme and Master of the Mystical Arts and his idol and mentor, Mr. Tony Stark a.k.a. Iron Man who was using a very, very cool Nanotech Suit that was epic and absolutely amazing. Peter was just your Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman and now he was on a distant planet, working with humans and aliens to save the galaxy from a deranged, power-hungry maniac who quite frankly, made him think of what could happen if a space grape was exposed to Gamma Radiation and boom! You had a purple Hulk.

Peter really needed to focus on the issue at hand though. How were he and Mr. Stark going to be able to save the freaking universe if Mr. Star Lord didn’t want to cooperate? Peter needed to think of something fast and the only thing going through his mind were wisecracks and memes and vine references and—
Mr. Stark was definitely gonna kill him after this and he was absolutely gonna revoke his Avenger Status but if it helped him find some much needed strength then he would have to deal with the consequences later. Peter steeled his resolve and when he noticed that Big, Purple and Brutish was beginning to gain control, he took a deep breath, held onto the gauntlet for dear life and yelled out.

“This bitch empty! YEET!” Peter pulled off the gauntlet and held on to it using his spider stickiness. Then, he tightly gripped the forearm of the purple monster, who was soon to feature in his nightmares, spun him quickly around, screaming at Drax to catch Mantis and Mr. Stark to stay away before throwing the power-crazed maniac out of the atmosphere and into space before the shaved raisin even had the chance to speak.

Everyone around him was astounded. Peter didn’t understand what was going on. They had just essentially saved the universe just like planned and he didn’t get why they weren’t celebrating. Mr. Stark looked dumbfounded as he took in what just happened. Big Peter still looked heartbroken and Doctor Strange was mumbling about how he never even saw that happening as a possibility. Drax, of course was the one to break the awkward silence that Peter was slowly drowning in.

“Congrats, Quill! For the first time, your plan has actually worked even though it was the other Peter who saved the universe. You are a formidable ally, Other Peter even if you are, essentially, a fetus.”

“Kid, did you really just save the fucking universe using a fucking vine reference?”

Peter had never seen one person look as exasperated and stupefied but proud as Mr. Stark looked in that moment. Peter answered with a sheepish yes as Mantis confirmed that Thanos was no more due to the exposure into the vacuum of space. Peter was buzzing with leftover adrenaline as the realization that he had managed to save the freaking universe with the help of a vine and the miracle of the placebo effect came crashing down on him.

“Did we really just save the universe?”

“No, kid. You saved the universe while we helped no thanks to that idiot, Star Lord who nearly got us all killed!”

“He killed Gamora!”

Peter could sense the brewing argument and he decided to interject. After all, they had just saved the universe! How hard could saving another alien be?

“Can’t we fix that though? I mean, we have the infinity stones!”

“Mr. Parker is somewhat correct. However, in fixing this dilemma of yours, it may lead to greater ripples across the universe. It may lead to disastrous consequences and I am uncertain that one person’s life is worth the possible fate of the universe.”

“She’s my universe, Strange!”

“Look, Star Lord was it, we need to finish saving the universe before we focus on saving your little girlfriend! There are still the other Children of Thanos that we need to eradicate before one of them has the twisted desire to have revenge and continue his mission to kill half of the life in the entire universe!”

Mr. Stark was officially awesome. Peter knew that but his respect and admiration for Mr. Stark grew even more as he successfully diffused the situation between Mr. Star Lord, Captain of the Guardians of the Galaxy and Doctor Strange, Sorcerer Supreme and Master of the Mystical Arts.

“Now Strange, you’re going to use one of your portal thingies to transport us all from this desolate planet to our own desolate planet. Quill, you need to decide if you and the rest of your motley crew want to come with us to help finish this or if you want to get a head start on finding your girlfriend. Kid, good job but if you ever do that again, I will revoke your Avengers Status and I will tell your Aunt about your idiotic actions even if it did save the universe. Now Quill, what’s it going to be?”

Peter quickly stands off to the side as Mr. Stark and Doctor Strange argue about what they should do while the Guardians gather and discuss their options.

“I’m outvoted. We’re coming with you to Earth and not just because the Milano is down. Before we head to Earth though, I need to ask. What are you going to do about the infinity stones though, Strange?”

“I am more than content with protecting my Infinity Stone. I believe the best course of action would be to let young Peter decide what to do with the Infinity Stones especially since he was instrumental in our success.”

Peter was floored by this suggestion. Quite honestly, it looked as if Nebula wanted to protest and claim that their hands were the safest as they had already had one Infinity Stone but Mr. Stark interceded. Mr. Stark was quite willing to do whatever it took to protect him but Peter had already known what he wanted to do even before Doctor Strange told him that it was his decision. He slowly adjusted the gauntlet in his grip and ran his right hand over the Infinity Stones. As soon as he held it, the power thrummed in his veins. He could feel the stones, ready and willing to bend the universe to his will. He would be able to save Ben, save his parents! However, that was not what he was going to do.

Peter of all people knew that with great power came great responsibility and it was his responsibility to right all of the wrongs done. His wording would have to be accurate and perfect. He could see Mr. Stark practically radiating his worry and Peter knew that Mr. Stark was probably wondering why it had to be Peter who had to deal with this but Peter knew that although he was young, he was matured enough to make the right decision. He slipped the gauntlet onto his left hand, closed his eyes and thought.

‘Make the universe as it should be’

When Peter opened his eyes, he was shocked to see them still on Titan but he could sense the shift in the universe being repaired. The Infinity Stones had scattered once again and the gauntlet had cracked. Peter knew deep inside of him that the power of the Infinity Stones had been greatly reduced and that unfortunately, some of that power had been absorbed by him, specifically the soul stone. He was now connected to Gamora weirdly enough as well as Loki and all the others killed by Thanos in his quest for Universal Balance which was really stupid and he was going off track again. Thankfully, they were alive again and Peter had their deaths off of his conscience. Also, in other news, the universe which is apparently a living entity of sorts had essentially dubbed him, Peter Parker also known as your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man as the Savior of the Universe and the Protector of the Infinity Stones. It was odd and absolutely thrilling to know that he had saved the universe especially since this was all because he had yeeted his way to success.