Chapter 1: Prologue
You dragged your suitcase up the first flight of stairs, always hating the fact that you weren’t first to pick rooms when it came to the date. Your roommate had an earlier time when it came to picking a room, and she never picked the first floor. You only had one more flight until you reach the second floor, but you were tired from having to carry all your luggage up and down the stairs from the rental car you are going to have to return tomorrow. If only your parents weren’t so far away.
“Do you need some help?” a voice asked from behind you, startling you.
You had almost dropped your suitcase if it weren’t for the figure behind you stopping it from falling back down the stairs. “I’m so sorry,” you said, taking the suitcase back from the stranger.
He laughed. “I’m sorry I scared you. I didn’t know you had not heard me walk up the steps. I should be louder.”
“No, it’s okay,” you began, finally looking at him and all words were forgotten, “I’m…” He had an oval shaped head, his red beanie, that hid his dark blond hair, stood out compared to his sun kissed skin. When he smiled at you, his chestnut colored eyes almost disappeared. He wore a gray sweatshirt and dark gray sweats that were cut to his knees. “I’m the one who is walking slow,” you finally managed, forcing yourself to stop staring.
“It’s move in day. Everyone is slow when it comes to moving. No one wants to unpack,” he said, following you up the rest of the stairs until the two of you reached the second floor. You turned to face him, unsure of what else to say. You weren’t a very social person. “What floor do you live on?” he suddenly asked.
He smiled again, this one as big as the last. “I do, too. Maybe we’ll see each other around,” he told you, sounding so friendly it made you question if he was being honest or humoring you. You nodded, not sure as to what the best reply is. “Well, it was nice meeting you…”
Understanding the way he trailed off, you answered, “Y/N.”
“Ah. Y/N. Nice to meet you, I’m Hoseok.” He extended his hand out towards you.
You slowly took his hand sputtering, “Nice to meet you as well.”
He pointed at the door next to the other flight of stairs that led to the third floor. The direction you were going. “I’m headed that way.”
You honestly didn’t want to say it, but you replied, “Me, too.”
“Really? Are we hallmates?” he questioned, his voice showing signs of excitement.
“I suppose we are,” you acknowledged.
“That’s exciting.” You watched as Hoseok opened the door that led you to the center hall, gesturing for you to enter first. You thanked him and entered the hallway. He walked alongside you as the two of you walked a short distance until he stops at the first set of doors. He points to the second door closest to the exit towards the stairs. “This is me,” he began, patting his pockets, “I hope to see you around, Y/N.” He frowns as he shoves his hands in his pockets.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I just realized I never grabbed my key off my desk when I left earlier,” he chuckled, knocking on his door. Immediately the door swung open, and you thought you felt your heart stop. He looked as if he had just woken up. His jet black hair disheveled, eyes barely open, and his lips in a little pout. The corner of his black, short sleeved shirt lifted as he rubbed his eye. “You’re awake,” Hoseok said in delight.
“Well you were knocking so damn loud,” he said in a gravelly voice.
“It wasn’t that loud,” Hoseok protested.
Before Yoongi could argue, a familiar voice called out, “There you are, Y/N. I thought you died or something.” Coming out of your own little world, your attention was now on your best friend, and roommate, Ari. “I finished unpacking a while ago, so I made your bed for you.”
You opened your mouth to reply, but Hoseok interrupted, “You’re our neighbor?” You nodded, eyes meeting Yoongi’s briefly before looking at Hoseok. “That’s even better! Our chances of seeing each other are a lot higher.”
“I should go,” you mumbled, head down as you quickly walked towards Ari.
“Bye, Y/N,” Hoseok called.
You waved bye and entered your dorm, the door closing behind Ari as you set your luggage on your bed. Your heart was racing, cheeks most likely a blush color. “What’s up with you?” Ari asked, climbing into her bed as she watched you place a hand over your heart.
“It’s him,” you said in a whisper.
You looked at her, her strawberry blond hair coming loose from her bun. “Him .”
You could see the cranks working in her head before her eyes lit up in realization. “Oh, you mean your crush for two years?”
“He has a name you know,” you reminded.
You watched her as she placed her finger to her rosy cheek. “Ah, yes. Fuckboy Yoongi,” she avowed.
“He is not a fuckboy,” you objected.
“Have you heard the rumors about him? If he’s our neighbor, then those rumors are about to be confirmed soon enough,” Ari implied.
“They’re just rumors.”
Ari sighed, “I just don’t want your feelings to get hurt if they are true.”
“They won’t,” you promised her.
With that, you continued to unpack, listening to your roommate complain about a professor she hasn’t met yet. She ranted long after you had finished packing and the two of you were making your way downstairs to the dining hall to grab dinner. When the two of you entered the dining hall, you waited in line as the woman behind the counter took student’s ID’s and swipe it along the card reader. The line went from four, and four went to one. When the woman gave the card back to the person in front of you, you handed her your ID.
“He is making us write three essays, and they’re only worth 13% of our grade,” Ari complained, handing her ID after you received yours. “Our midterm and final are worth more, and you know I suck at taking tests. I’m not going to pass this class. I can already feel it.”
The two of you entered the separate room where the food was displayed. A salad bar in the center, drinks to the right, and sweets to the left. Different types of foods were shown everywhere else.
“What class is this?” you asked her, grabbing a plate from the stack by the salad bar.
“Psycho,” she whined, taking a plate you handed her. “I actually have to show up to every class, participate, and probably kiss his ass a little so he knows I’m desperate.”
You giggled. “I’m sure you’ll be fine, Ari. You passed syntax last semester.”
“And I did everything I had just told you. Maybe a little more. Hell, I even laughed at his jokes I didn’t understand,” Ari told you before she wandered off to the direction where the pasta was. You followed in suite, eyes on the fettuccine alfredo. “Guess I’ll just have to read the textbook more than once.”
“Have faith in yourself,” you tell her, handing your plate to the server who placed a spoonful of pasta on it before giving it back.
“I guess,” she sighed, taking her plate and dragged her feet towards the salad bar, clearly disappointed with her decision to take the class.
You didn’t bother comforting her and instead, you grabbed a bottle of water. You entered the dining room once again and scanned the area for an empty table. In the back of the room, you could see an empty table in the corner. Ari walked up next to you, letting out a sigh. “School sucks.”
You laughed, gesturing towards the table you found. “Let’s eat.” Leading her past the occupied tables, you set your food down, taking a seat. “You’ve passed all your classes before. You can pass this class, too. Have more faith in yourself, Ari,” you pointed out.
Ari hummed in response as the two of you ate in a comfortable silence. Your eyes wandered around the room, watching as everyone sat at their tables and happily chatted with one another. You’ve been living at the dorms for three years and you weren’t all that social like everyone else was. You watched as they would greet one another as they passed by. It was like they all knew each other, and all you knew was Ari. She’s been your friend and roommate for three years, and you wouldn’t trade her for the world.
“If it isn’t my favorite neighbor,” a voice called. You looked up to see Hoseok smiling down at you as he held a plate of food in his hand. “Mind if I join you guys?”
You glanced at Ari who only shrugged. “Sure,” you say.
He smiles, taking a seat next to you. “My roommate wouldn’t come eat with me, and I didn’t want to be by myself. I’m lucky I saw you guys,” he says, taking a bite of his pizza. He looked at Ari. “Ah. Right.” He stuck his hand out towards her. “I’m Hoseok.”
Ari smiled, shaking his hand. “Ari.”
“Well, Ari. Y/N. There’s a party happening on the third floor if you guys want to come. It’s several rooms that are having it, but it’s one big one,” he says, taking a bigger bite of his pizza. “Plus it’ll be nice to have someone I know there. Even if I only met you two today.”
“A party? I am so in,” Ari says, an excited smile on her face. “You going, Y/N?”
You shook your head. “I need to fix my camera,” you tell her, giving her a small, apologetic smile.
“Camera? Is that a hobby?” Hoseok asked, finishing his first pizza.
You shook your head. “Major.”
“Oh, really? You must be a pro at it.”
“I’m really not,” you said sheepishly, your face flushing.
“She’s lying. She’s really good at it,” Ari told Hoseok, dismissing your comment. You kicked her under the table, but she ignored you completely. “I’ll show you some time.”
“No one will be showing anything,” you said in a threatening tone but it didn’t come out all that threatening. They clearly didn’t take you seriously, but said nothing more about it.
By the time you were done eating, you and Ari were in your room, Ari currently deciding which dress she liked more. You watched her as she switched between dresses, each hovering over her body as she tilts her head to the side in question. “Which looks better on me?” she asked you, her eyes meeting yours through the closet mirror.
“Why are you dressing up? Isn’t it just a party upstairs?” you questioned.
“It is just a party upstairs, but it’s a party where I plan to find a boyfriend. A better one than my ex,” she said. “Now which one do you think looks better?”
You let out a sigh, shaking your head. “The black one. It makes your hair stand out compared to the red one.”
She smiled at you. “I knew I could trust your opinion.”
You rolled your eyes. “I’m not a fashion designer, and it’s common sense.”
“Either way, you’re the expert.” Ari walked to the bathroom door in the corner of the room next to the sink. She gave a quick knock before entering the bathroom. You’ve known her for three years now, and you still find it funny how the two of you would change in the shared bathroom. You would guess it was a habit by now.
A minute or so later, Ari comes out of the bathroom wearing the black dress you picked out. It was a form-fitting dress, the straps as big as your index finger. The dress fit her curves perfectly, showing all that she had to give. Sometimes you wished you had her confidence in wearing such a dress, but then again you were perfectly fine in your seaweed green sweats and big, black shirt that could pass as a dress.
“And you’re sure that if you bend over, nothing will show?” you asked in concern, staring down at how short the dress was.
“I’ve bent over quite a few times, so no, nothing will be revealed.” She glanced at you as she slipped on her heels. “Would you like to confirm?”
You shook your head. “I trust you.” Ari did a quick lookover in the mirror before grabbing her room key and phone. “Have fun, and be safe,” you tell her as she opens the door.
“Don’t work too hard on your camera,” she says before leaving you alone in the room.
You could hear the clicks of her heels against the floor until you could no longer hear her. Stretching your arms out, you stared at the camera that lay on your desk. You honestly didn’t want to work on it. At least, not tonight when you were already in bed and all you had to do was switch off the light and close your eyes. You thought for a second or two before finally deciding to just go to sleep. Today was a long day of unpacking and going to sleep before having to wake up to go to some mandatory meeting sounded a lot better with each passing second.
Switching the light off next to your bed, you got under your covers and lied there in silence, counting sheep. So much had happened today, and the one that repeated in your head the most was that Yoongi was your neighbor.
Yoongi. The guy you had a crush on for three years now is your neighbor. That meant a possible opportunity to talk to him. Especially now that Hoseok seemed to want to be friends, maybe you’ll see Yoongi a lot more now.
Your thoughts were interrupted by a light tapping sound on the wall next to you. It was a rhythmic tapping sounds. Then slowly, ever so slowly, the light tapping turned louder and harder, and with that loud pounding sound, a girls voice could be heard.
You lied in bed frozen.
“I just don’t want your feelings to get hurt if they are true.”
Chapter 2: 01
You entered your dorm in complete exhaustion, the door closing behind you as you dropped your bag on the floor and stepped on the step stool to climb into bed. Sometimes you hated yourself for having picked a class that starts at eight in the morning. That would have been fine for anyone, but that only meant you had to wake up at six in the morning and be on the shuttle or bus a little after seven.
You would normally wake up later, leave later, but because your first class is on the lower side of campus and the furthest, you had quite walk to make from the drop off to the building. You really weren’t thinking of the location of the classes when you picked them.
You sighed, turning to your side. Staring at the wall in front of you, a feeling of sadness washed over you. It’s been a month since that night where you sadly cried yourself to sleep. What you have for Yoongi is only a crush, and the fact that you cried because of what you heard always made you feel embarrassed.
He doesn’t even know who you are, so why are you so hurt over it?
You closed your eyes, waiting for sleep to come. Thankfully it did.
The sound of the door opening woke you from your sleep. Groggily, you turned your head towards your roommate as the door closed behind her. “You’re still asleep?”
“You’re my alarm,” you tell her, sitting up and rubbing your eyes.
“Oh, yeah. Sorry. I stayed after classes were over to hang out with Hoseok,” she tells you, dropping her bag on her bed before taking a seat at her desk that was placed between her bed and the sink.
You froze. “How long were you gone?”
She smiled at you apologetically. “Three hours,” she tells you.
You sigh, “I’ve been asleep for four hours?”
“Let’s be honest, Y/N, you’re always sleepy, so you’ll still fall asleep on time like nothing.” You watched as Ari turned on her laptop, the screen coming to life, and went straight to the schools website where all professors posted homework and such. “You’ll be okay.”
You hummed in response, climbing out of bed and taking a seat at your desk that was placed between your and Ari’s bed. “How was your date with Hoseok?” you asked her, opening your laptop and pressing the power button. “Are you two actually dating yet?”
Ari laughed, “I think we are, but I think I’ll have to ask where we are in this relationship. Thanks for introducing us.”
You frowned. “I didn’t though. He walked up to us.”
“True, but you met him, and that was the greatest thing you’ve ever done for me,” she told you, typing away at her computer.
“Why do you make it sound like everything else I ever did for you was bad.” You turned to look at her, but was still met with the back of her head.
“Everything you’ve ever done for me is the greatest and forever appreciated, but meeting Hoseok is something I don’t think I can ever repay. I’ve never seen him so passionate about dance until today. He asked me to wait for him after practice, and what I saw just left me in awe. If he doesn’t become famous for his dancing, I’ll sue.” She shook her head.
You smiled. “You really like him.”
She froze, and because you’ve known her for years, you knew she was blushing. “I guess I do,” she told you in a nonchalant tone. “What about you?” she changed the subject.
“What about me,” you asked, attention now on your computer.
“Are you still after Yoongi?”
Your heart sank. “No,” you finally said.
“No?” You finally got her attention, and from the corner of your eye, you could see Ari turn around in her chair towards you.
You sighed, “You were right about his lifestyle.”
She was silent for a moment, as if she was taking your words in slowly. “Oh, Y/N…”
You shook your head. “Don’t worry about it. He’s Yoongi, so it’s most likely only natural for him to be the way he is,” you said, trying to brush off her sympathy.
“What do you plan on doing?”
You finally looked at her. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, are you going to focus solely on school, or do you want to try and look for love?” she asked.
“School is always important,” you began, slouching just a bit, “but I want to know what it’s like to be with someone. I want to hold hands with someone and feel the butterflies when they do something.” You shook your head. “I guess I do want to find love.” Glancing at her, you asked, “Can you help me?”
“Of course, but I don’t think I’m cut out for this.”
Cocking your head to the side, you questioned, “Why?”
She shrugged. “I don’t want to force you to do things that I would to get someone’s attention.” She snapped her finger in realization. “I can ask Hoseok if you want. He’s a guy, and he obviously knows what a guy wants in a girl. He’ll know how to help you find a date without forcing you to do anything you don’t want.”
“I don’t know,” you pondered. “It seems strange.”
“Can I at least ask him? Maybe he knows someone else?” You didn’t want to deny her offer, so you nodded. This resulted in a smile. “Okay. I’ll let him know.”
And with that, the two of you stared at your computer screens in silence, typing away.
What you didn’t expect, the following day was for Hoseok to reply so quickly. You were currently eating lunch in the dining hall, taking advantage of the hour and a half break you had before your next class, when Hoseok came up to you, placing his plate on the table. “I figured you didn’t want me trying to help you, so I got someone you didn’t know,” he said, taking a bite of his food.
“Already?” you asked in shocked. “I just asked for help yesterday.”
Hoseok laughed. “Don’t worry, Y/N, he’s cool. He overheard my conversation with Ari and couldn’t help but ask. He’s… dated several girls before, so he knows what he wants in a relationship. He’s dated all types of girls, so he might know how to help you.”
“Ah. You met him once. My roommate, Yoongi.”
You almost dropped your spoon at his name, but you luckily caught it before anything could really spill. “Your roommate?”
“Yeah. Do you know him?” he asked, taking another bite as if he never saw you almost drop your spoon.
That’s because he didn't know. He didn’t know you knew him, that you had a crush on him. He only knows you met him that one time. “No. I don’t,” you lied. More like half lied.
“Good,” he replied, quickly finishing his meal. “I’ll let him know.” He waved goodbye and left you alone at you table.
Your mind was racing.
Out of everyone in this building, at this school, Hoseok picked Yoongi. Out of everyone in this world, you had a crush on Yoongi. It was like fate was playing a mean joke on you.
You lost your appetite, no longer wanting to eat. Grabbing your plate and cup, you got up from your seat and gave it to the person behind the counter who continued to wash dishes without giving you a glance.
Leaving the dining hall, you made your way towards the shuttle stop where several students were waiting. You stood amongst the crowd, only waiting five minutes before the shuttle appeared and you climbed in. Taking your seat, you stared down at your hands.
What are you going to do? How are you going to be able to handle this without giving anything away? You’ve never been around a crush before, how are you supposed to react around him?
“Y/N?” a voice brought you out of your thoughts. Looking up, your eyes met with a familiar pair. A pair that made your heart stop. Unable to find your voice, you nodded. “Hoseok said you needed help in getting a boyfriend. If you are, meet me in the dining hall at seven today,” he finished before continuing down the aisle and sat somewhere in the back of the shuttle.
Leaving you speechless and heart racing.
Chapter 3: 02
You were conflicted. One second you were leaving your room, and the next you were turning around and pulling out your key to enter your room. An endless cycle of what to do. Eventually, when Ari opened the door before your key could turn, she yelled, “Go!” Like a soldier, you spun around on your heal and made your way down the hall.
The closer you got to the dining hall, the more your heart raced. You were about to meet with your crush of three years, and he was about to help you find someone else to have feelings for. Was this a really good idea? Well he doesn’t know, so it’s not like he’ll be hurt, nor would he care if you have a crush on him. He has plenty of girls to keep him company. You’re not all that important. Now with dread, you enter the dining hall.
You handed the man your ID, eyes glancing around the dining area for a certain black haired student. There was no sign of him as the man behind the counter handed you your ID back. You walked into the next room, grabbing a plate from the stack and made your rounds, gathering all foods you liked. Today your plate consisted of chicken tenders, fries, and a salad. With a bowl of chicken noodle. You found an empty table at the back of the room. Taking your seat, you placed your phone in front of you, clicking on the Netflix app to continue your show. When everything was settled, you dug in.
Every now and then you would glance around for Yoongi, but found no sight of him. You eventually gave up and kept your attention solely on your phone. When you got to your soup, a figure appeared, causing you to jump out of fright. You looked up, watching as Yoongi placed his plate of beef stroganoff and white rice on the table in front of you. He sat down and began to eat without uttering a word to you.
Your eyes glanced from your phone then to Yoongi in confusion. Do you ignore him and eat your soup? Do you say ‘hello’? What do you do?
“Have you ever dated before?” he finally asked, relaxing you a bit.
“N-no,” you stuttered.
“Hook up with anyone?”
“No,” you said, eyes glancing at the people close to you, checking to see if they heard him. Thankfully they didn’t. They were louder than Yoongi.
He nodded, eyes looking out towards the sea of people eating and chatting. “Ideal type?”
You opened your mouth, but nothing came out. The more you thought about it, the more you were unsure. Bad boys? Guys who don’t talk to anyone and look like they have so much to tell but will never say? Guys who are sensitive? Guys who like cake? “I don’t know,” you finally confessed.
This time, as the words left your mouth, he finally looked at you. There was a look on his face you couldn’t read. Irritation? Confusion?
You knew the look on your face. Embarrassment.
“You don’t know?” he asked, voice more quiet then before.
“I’ve only liked one person since I came here, but I don’t know him,” you confessed.
“How can you like someone yet know nothing about them?”
“He’s out of my league,” you defended, but he was right, it was a bit strange to have a crush on someone you honestly know nothing about. “He never talked to me, and I’m too embarrassed to say anything to him.”
“Shy, unknown for ideal type, has a crush on someone you don’t know about.” He leans back in his seat. “I’m not gonna lie, it’s going to be hard to find someone who fits your type since even you don’t know,” he confessed.
You opened your mouth in protest but decided against it. No point in arguing with him. “I’ll help you,” he began, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table, “but there are some ground rules we need to go over.”
“Rules?” What rules were there? Don’t fall in love with him? You already have a crush on him, so that might be too late.
“I teach everything, so if you have anything you’re against, tell me now.” You didn’t reply. What exactly would you be against? He agreed to teach you how to find the confidence to find a guy, so what exactly would he do that you would be against? When you still remained silent, he continued, “We will do things by my time, and a majority of it will be either in my room or somewhere else that isn’t here or school.”
“In your room?” you choked.
“I don’t want people assuming things.”
You frowned. “Wouldn’t me going in your room bring up questions?”
“No one will see you come in my room. When it’s time to meet, I’ll text you—by the way, I’ll need your number. Does Hoseok have it? I’ll get it through him,” he said, allowing you to only give a nod before he continued, “I will not teach you how to kiss. That is the one thing I will not do. Okay?”
You could feel the heat rush to your cheeks. “Of course. I wasn’t expecting that from you.”
He leaned back in his chair. “Good.” You watched him as he got up from his seat, grabbing his now empty plate. “When I text you later today, I want you to send me your schedule. Tomorrow we’re meeting at a bar near here so I can know more about you and get a better understanding.”
“O-” you started, but he walked away, leaving you alone, “‘kay.” You sat for a moment, letting your food get colder by the second. Eventually, you brought yourself out of your trance and finished your dinner, starting the episode over.
“What?” Ari’s voice rang in the room.
“Will you keep your voice down? He’s right next door,” you hissed.
“Hoseok never told me Yoongi would be your… guide? Mentor? Whatever. I can’t believe this is happening,” she laughed. “Out of everyone in this world, he chose the one you’ve been crushing on since we first moved in.”
“This may be funny to you, but I’m in a difficult position, Ari,” told her.
“What did he tell you?” she asked, ignoring you as she jumped on her bed and lied on her stomach facing you. “Does he have rules?”
You rolled your eyes. “He told me kissing is out.”
“Kissing? So he’s not going to teach you how to make out with someone? How to kiss slowly at first then kiss with so much passion--his tongue brushing along yours--”
You covered your ears. “I can’t hear you. Shut up, Ari.”
This only caused her to laugh even more and you to frown as she said, “Okay, okay.” When you removed your hands from your ears, she asked, “Are you nervous?”
“Beyond scared. I’m trying to get over him, not keep these feelings forever while I try and look for someone new,” you sighed, resting your back along the wall as you stretched your legs out on your bed.
“Well when do you have to meet him? Maybe give yourself some time to relax and prepare yourself before you meet up,” she suggested, propping her elbows on her bed, resting her chin on her palms.
“He wants to meet up tomorrow.”
She gave you an apologetic smile. “Sorry, hun.”
You groaned, “Me too.”
The following day you found yourself packing up from your last lecture, listening as the other students chat with one another and pack their belongings as well. Rather than head back to the dorms like you normally would, you practically dragged yourself towards the bar Yoongi told you to meet him at.
When you got there, as the sun began to set, you noticed that he wasn’t there. Pulling your phone out of your bag, you glanced at the time. You had ten minutes to spare. Finding an empty booth, you took a seat, pulled out your textbook from your bag, and began to do homework.
It clearly felt like more than ten minutes as you finished two pages of your assignment when a glass of alcohol was placed in front of you. You looked up from your work just as Yoongi took a seat across from you. You told yourself that you would have to get used to the fact that Yoongi would be the one to help you, and your thoughts came to the agreement, but your heart didn’t. Not even when you told yourself to calm down, your heart raced at the sight of him.
“So,” he began, taking a drink from his glass, “what’s your major?”
“Photography,” you mumbled.
He nodded. “Do you party, drink, smoke?”
He stared at you quietly, and within his blank expression, you could see a slight look of shock. As if he had never met someone who doesn’t do any of those. It’s not like you didn’t want to try it, but school is more important than doing things you can do when you graduate. You’re a junior now, and you really need to focus on finishing your classes and school. Even if the semester just started.
“So you’re a bit of a stiff,” he says, taking another swig.
Your mouth dropped. “I am not a stiff,” you argued.
“Who doesn’t drink or have fun?”
“Me.” You crossed your arms over your chest. “People who are trying to do something with their life.”
He raised a brow. “Everyone at that university is trying to do something with their life. The only difference between them and you is that they balance fun and work.” He looked you up and down. “Clearly you need to do the same.”
“Clearly you’re a jerk.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Do you cuss?”
“No, not really.”
He scoffed, “No wonder. No one ever calls someone else a jerk. The word you’re looking for is ‘ass’, and I’m not. I’m just telling it like it is.”
“How about during this whole thing, I teach you how to think before you speak,” you fumed.
His expression changed. A look you couldn’t tell what it was. “How about this then, Princess.” He crossed his arms over his chest, mimicking you. “We skip this bickering and just do as I say.”
“No,” you told him, laughter ringing throughout the bar. During this whole argument, you actually forgot where you were. “How about, you teach me how to find someone, and I teach you how to act like a human being. Okay, Princess?”
You didn’t give him time to respond as you grabbed your textbook and back and left him at the booth. You exited the bar and practically stomped your way towards the dorms. You would have slamed your door, but it closes on its own, and it takes its sweet time to close.
Ari looked up you as you threw your bag and textbook on the bed. “What’s up with you?”
“What did I ever see in that jerk? I hate him,” you jeered.
Chapter 4: 03
You stared down at your phone in confusion.
[5:29 pm] Jerk: Multi-purpose room. 9pm.
“I thought he didn't want to meet in public?” you mumbled, locking the screen to your phone before hopping onto the shuttle. You took a seat at the front, sitting by the window. You couldn’t help but wonder what it was that he wanted today--especially in the multi-purpose room where people hung out all the time.
As the shuttle took off, you watched the people pass by as the vehicle made two more stops on campus before driving off campus and heading towards your dorm. The ride was rather quiet, with two or three people sitting further in the back as you listened to the melody of the song playing through your earphones.
By the time you reached the dorms, the sun was gone, and you only had an hour to grab dinner before the dining hall closed. You weren’t expecting to study for so long, but with a your first big exam coming up, you need to study as much as possible. Exiting the shuttle, you made your way straight towards the dining hall. After doing your usual routine: ID, food, sit, eat, you were making your way towards your room. You checked the time on your phone. You couldn’t help but let out a sigh as you read the time. With only an hour of time to prepare yourself before you throw yourself into the social world, you entered your room to lie in bed, your feet dangling off the bed, and charge yourself.
“You’re going to bed already?” Ari asked, as you collapsed face first on your bed. Your reply was mumbled, resulting her in saying, “What? I can’t understand you.”
You sighed, turning your head to look at her. “He wants to meet in the mpr,” you said again.
“Oh. Ew. You have to socialize downstairs?” You let out a whiney moan in response. “What time are you supposed to met him?” she asked.
You could see her look of disgust as she stared at you. “Who does that?”
“Apparently him,” you told her. “Can you text him for me and tell him I died?”
She laughs. “You think he won’t just come up here and drag you out? He is our neighbor after all.”
“He is not that dedicated to helping me.”
“Helping you, probably not--no offence, but getting help from Hoseok just to help you? He’s beyond dedicated,” she informed.
You pushed yourself up, only to slide off the bed. “Hoseok is helping Yoongi just so Yoongi can help me because I asked Hoseok for help?”
You could see the slight look of confusion on her face from your way of wording the question, but she tells you, “Yeah. I told him he doesn’t have to, but he insisted, so you have to go through with this.”
You wanted to tell her to have Hoseok stop. He shouldn’t have to go through such lengths just to help you, but when you remembered the excited look on his face when you asked for help, you couldn’t request Ari to stop him. You ran your hands through your hair. “Fine,” you mumbled.
As nine crept closer, your heart and mind raced until eventually, it was time for you to go downstairs.
With all the courage you could muster, you left your room with Ari giving you the thumbs up. That courage immediately that courage died when you reached the bottom step to the first floor. All you had to do was walk out the door, walk past the first floor laundry room, and past the mailboxes. Then you would be standing at the doorway of the mpr. When you finally exited the stairwell, the laundry room next to you with the sound of both the washers and dryers running, you could hear the large group of people.
You felt like you were going to throw up. Who knew that socializing would freak you out this much. It was ridiculous.
Taking in a deep breath, you made your way towards the doorway, but that didn't stop your racing heart. When you entered the room, you weren't expecting this many people. Usually the room had a few people scattered around the room all doing their own thing, but this place looked like it was supposed to be a club with how many people danced and chatted with each other. Some even had red cups in their hands. You couldn't help but wonder if they were drinking alcohol since it wasn't allowed with plenty of underage students. That didn’t stop them.
“You got this,” you whispered to yourself, fists clenching as you entered the room. You were lost in your own anxiety that you didn’t even notice the blasting music until you stood in the outskirts of the crowd, watching them dance. They all looked like they were having fun--and you wish you could have fun like them, but you never liked parties. Too many people in one place, all clustered together scared you. It made you want to leave, and it drained you trying to speak with a few people. Even now, as you watched a boy approach you, you felt yourself draining and fighting the urge to leave.
“Hey,” he somewhat yelled over the blaring music.
“Hi,” you forced out.
He was rather tall, his brown hair slightly gelled backed, wearing a green hoodie and black jeans. He looked pleasant and extremely friendly.
“I know this is so random of me to come up to you, a complete stranger, but my boyfriend is forcing me to introduce myself.” He stuck his hand out toward you. “I'm Christopher.”
You shook his and a bit skeptical. “Y/N.” You shook your head. “Why is your boyfriend forcing you to introduce yourself to me?” you couldn't help but ask.
He smiled awkwardly. “I'm trying to become an RA next year, so he's forcing me to practice my bright personality and be more friendly.”
You nodded. “Ah. Okay.”
Suddenly another person appeared, a big expectant smile on his face. “How did he do?”
“Uh… he was friendly,” you tell him.
It seemed to be all they needed to hear as they chatted to one another happily, seeming to ignore you after that. Giving you a sign to walk away, you quickly slipped away from the excited couple and made yourself go deeper in the room, but still in the outskirts.
Your eyes wandered around the crowd, but there was no sign of Yoongi. Why did he tell you to come if he wasn't even going to show up himself? You didn't want to give him the benefit of the doubt, so you waited.
That was the dumbest thing you've ever done. After standing there for almost an hour, staring at everyone like some creeper, your fists balled. You were fuming. “That jerk,” you whisper. Without much thought, you were heading for the exit.
You were going to give him a piece of your mind when you see him again. What did you ever see in him in the first place? He was a jerk who clearly only cared for himself. He's probably with some girl in his room. That only made you more mad.
You quickly walked around the room and left, leaving the happy and social crowd. You stomped your way past the mailboxes, past the window that showed into the small room that only contained a round table and several chairs where students would study together or alone, and passing the door to the dorm supervisor before reaching the door that lead to the stairwell and the student dorms. You pulled out your ID, pressing it against the chip card reader. With the sound of a beep, you pulled the door open and stepped into the stairwell.
You walked up the two flights of stairs until you reached the third floor and making a right towards your hall. Before you could pass the doorway that led to your hall, a voice called out, “Not sociable at all.”
You jumped, turning around to find the culprit. Sitting at the third flight of stairs that lead to the roof, Yoongi looked up from his phone at you, his elbows propped on his knees. After your heart slowed to a normal pace, you glared at him. “Where were you? Why tell me to go to the mpr if you weren’t even going to show?”
“I told you to arrive at the mpr so that I can see how you interact with others and how you act in a party.” He stood up, walking down the stairs until he reached the last step. He stared down at you, hands in the pockets of his gray sweats. The way he stared at you made your heart race. It was ridiculous that the fact that even though you hated the way he acted since you met him a month ago, your heart would disobey your thoughts and would race whenever he would look at you. What were you to do? What are you supposed to do when your feelings for him still lingered even though you know who he is?
He took that final step, making one more towards you, and forcing to you step back. He cocked his head ever so slightly to the side. “Do you have social anxiety?”
You tried to not look as shocked as you did, but you knew your eyes were wide and mouth slightly open as if he caught you stealing. Are you that easy to read? How could he know? “What makes you think that?” you questioned, trying to play it off like you didn’t. It wasn’t working.
He crossed his arms over his chest. “A friend of mine has social anxiety. He glances at doors when he’s desperate to leave. In the mpr, I noticed you kept glancing at the door and your lips were slightly moving as if you were talking to yourself.”
“And that gives you the idea that I have anxiety?”
“My friend does the same thing. He’ll talk to himself to keep himself from running out of that room. He doesn’t like being by himself. If I’m wrong, and you don’t have social anxiety, tell me now so that I can correct myself,” he told you.
“Correct yourself how?” you asked, voice not as confident as it was before.
“If you don’t have social anxiety, you’re going to a party so I can see how you flirt with people,” he answered, brow raised.
He knows. The way he’s staring at you with that expression that just knows you do. If you denied his allegations, you would eventually end up at a party full of people trying to flirt. They would judge you harshly, and that is not what you want. You crossed your arms over your chest, mimicking his stance. “Okay, so I have social anxiety, what does that have to do with anything?”
He sighs, “It means that I have to teach and evaluate everything myself. Lessons will be more private rather than me watching you and telling you what do different.”
You stared at him for a moment, processing the words he said. “Private?” you whispered.
He nodded. “We’ll be in my room a lot more that we both like,” he finished, walking around you and down the hall towards his room. He left you there in complete and utter shock.
What are you going to do? What in the world are you going to do?
You don’t have to do this.
No one is forcing you.
But if you were to quit, would Hoseok’s feelings be hurt because you quit?
You couldn’t do that to him.
The sound of laughter brought you out of your thoughts. You turned around and walked down the hallway and entered your room. Ari looked up from her phone, a leg dangling over her bed.
“If I feel uncomfortable at any moment, I quit,” you tell her, with every ounce of courage you could muster.
She nodded. “Any ounce of discomfort, you quit immediately, and I kick Yoongi’s ass.”
You let out a breath.
You’re in for a rollercoaster.
Chapter 5: 04
Warning: This chapter contains mentions of abuse and has a bit of abuse.
It’s Friday afternoon. Everyone's out doing something while you lied in bed. You’ve been in bed since you woke up and watched Ari pack a bag of clothes. She and Hoseok were going somewhere for the weekend and you couldn’t help but question how she and him were a couple after only knowing one another for a month.
“I wondered the same thing,” she told you, folding a dress and placing it into her bag. “But after we met that first day, I guess we just sort of clicked. We couldn’t help but get closer, and ta-da,” she laughed, “We’re dating. It’s still early to start a relationship, but we couldn’t help it.”
“Lucky,” you mumble, finally forcing yourself out of bed. “It’s so easy for you to find someone, but it’s a struggle for me.”
You walked towards your mirrored closet, opening it and grabbing your caddie. You grabbed a towel from the shelf in your closet, and closed the closet door before making your way towards the bathroom door to take a quick shower. When you finished showering, got dressed, and walked back into your room, your stomach rumbled.
You sighed, “Ten more minutes.” You glanced at the little blue clock on your desk to confirm that the dining hall would have lunch out in ten. Thankfully you were correct.
You took your time putting on your lotion, brushing your hair when it was dry enough, and putting on your socks and shoes as you hang your towel on the rack in your closet. Checking the clock on your desk one last time, you grabbed your keys, ID, and phone before leaving your room to grab lunch. You walked down the hallway, but turned back around and made your way back to your dorm when you realized you didn’t grab your earphones.
Placing your key in the keyhole, your turned the key and pushed the door open. You quickly grabbed your earphones from your desk and left your room once again, pulling the key out and making your way down the hallway. What you weren’t expecting was a girl knocking on Yoongi’s door, and you definitely weren’t expecting an ache in your chest as you slowly walked past her. The sound of the door opening caught your attention. Your eyes met Yoongi’s as he looked past the brunette and at you. Looking away, you walked faster until you were at the bottom of the staircase.
Your chest aches even more. You still weren’t over him, even though he’s rude and clearly doesn’t care for anyone but himself. Your feelings for him remained. You wanted to believe that he was a good person, but you knew he wasn’t.
Maybe other people saw different. But from what you saw… you want nothing to do with him.
Entering the dining hall, you did your usual routine, grabbing what looked best before taking a seat in the back corner of the room. Pulling out your earphones and phone, you plugged in your earphones before clicking on your usual app and clicking on the show you were currently invested in. You put your phone down, angling it just right and began to chow down.
Today’s episode was about the main character getting the guy of their dreams. Some bad flirting happened, jokes were made, feelings were hurt, and all you wanted to do was throw your phone out the window. It was like the world was giving you the bird in the biggest way for falling for someone like Yoongi. With so much anger building up inside you, you shoved the rest of your food in your mouth, placed your empty plates in the huge sink for the dishwasher to wash, and practically stomped out of the dining hall.
Min Yoongi is a jerk and nothing can change your mind.
Saturday morning was something you didn’t want to be awake to. It was Saturday and all you wanted to do was sleep in until noon, but you had homework to do and a project to begin. If you stayed in your dorm, you knew for a fact that you wouldn’t do it. All you would do is sit at your desk and stare at your computer screen, so you forced yourself out of bed, into the shower, and packed your textbooks and other items into your backpack before grabbing your earphones and heading out your dorm. You walked down the hall, past the staircase that led to the first floor, and into the north hall. The hall was a lot longer than the center hall as you walked down it towards the exit door that led to the outdoor staircase. You couldn’t help but wonder if everyone in the hall knew one another like your hall did. Center halls had lesser people, so it was easy to remember everyone. Or at least know their faces.
Reaching the door, you exited the hallway and made your way down the staircase. You followed the group of friends making their way towards the shuttle that would be across the parking lot and on the side of the street when you reached the first floor. The music played in your earphones loud enough to block out the world. The cars that drove by, honking because the car in front of them was too slow, the chatter from the other students who were waiting for the shuttle, and the dogs barking. You didn’t hear it.
You checked your phone for the time. The shuttle would leave in ten minutes, but the bus will drive by in four. Glancing to your left, down the street you could see the bus parked on the curb next to the bus stop. Rather than wait for the shuttle, you walked up the sidewalk to the bus stop in front of the apartment complex next door. You stood next to the bus stop for two minutes before the bus pulled up in front of you. You stole a quick glance to see if any of the other students were making their way over towards you, but no one was looking at you. Either they weren’t paying attention, or they still didn’t bother getting the bus pass from the cashier window on campus--which is free. You hopped on the bus, pressing your bus pass against the scanner, hearing a beep before making your way towards the middle of the bus.
Taking a seat next to the window, you watched as the apartments and the auto shop blur by, the coffee shop appearing as the bus came to a stop. With the doors opening, two people entered the bus. They took a seat closer in the front as the doors closed and the bus drove off towards its next stop. For the next five stops, three people entered the bus. Usually there would be a lot of students, but because it was a Saturday, no one wanted to go to school. It was the weekend, who would want to go to school to study? You couldn’t help but sigh. Sadly you had to go to school to study.
The bus turned left, entering the campus property. With no one at the first stop, the bus continued on until reaching the second stop where the stop light was red. The doors opened and two students entered the bus. As the driver of the bus waited for the light to turn green, you stared out the window as a few students waited at the bus stop for their bus to appear. One student, however, caught your eye. He stood next to the bench, hands in his jean pockets. You couldn’t see his eyes with his sunglasses covering them, but his blond hair looked familiar. Before you could even think hard enough, the bus took off, leaving the familiar person behind.
At the final stop, you got up from your seat and walked to the front of the bus, thanking the driver, and getting off. You walked to the edge of the sidewalk, looking both ways before crossing the small street. You walked up the sidewalk towards the library, watching as a bus pull up to the bus stop next to you. You continued forward before turning left and walked alongside the library towards the entrance. No one was at the tables outside the entrance, so that would mean the floors weren’t completely filled with people.
Entering the library, you were met with the smell of coffee from the coffee shop in front of you. The five story building had each floor assigned to the level of noise. The basement was a floor for studying and no noise. First floor, the floor you were on, had the computers, the front desk, and the coffee shop. Clearly talking loudly was allowed. The second, third and fourth floor had books for the students to search for, along with tables to do some studying. The second and fourth floor allowed talking, while the third floor didn’t. The fifth floor was a lot like the basement. All tables but this floor had cubicles for students to group study. The fifth floor allowed talking, and during midterms and finals, a lot of the students spent the night in the cubicles.
You passed through the detectors, making a right towards the lobby. Pressing the up button to the elevator, you glanced at the computers that occupied the rest of the floor to your right. A few students typed away furiously on the keys as they most likely wrote their paper. After a few seconds, the middle elevator doors opened. You entered the elevator, pressing the fifth floor, and watched the doors close just as a group of guys’ heads appeared to be coming up the stairs from the basement.
The number at the top went from one to two, then from two to three. The number went up to five before the elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. You exited the elevator, making a left and entered through the glass doors into the study of the fifth floor. Much to your expectation, there were very few people in the room. You made your way towards the back of the room towards the desks that ran along the window. Taking a seat in the empty one in the corner, you placed your bag on the desk. You loved this spot because from this floor, you got a view of the ocean.
And so, for the rest of the day until closing at five in the afternoon, you did all your homework and planned out everything you had in mind for your project. You would need to start the project on Monday when the shelter would be open. When you left the library, you contemplated whether you should have dinner on campus, or head back to the dorms and have dinner in the dining hall. You debated for a few minutes before deciding to have dinner on campus. You were craving sushi and some fish and chips from the Greek stand.
Rather than turn left from the entrance of the library to head towards the bus stop, you moved forward, passing numerous buildings where you had a classes in. You passed the building of the Asian department, passed the psychology building and passed the bookstore. Walking down the small set of stairs, you passed the outdoor seating to the grill and pub, and finally entered the food court next door. The numerous smells of different types of foods hit you like a wave. Walking further in, you ignored the Boba shop that wasn’t good, and the vegan stand as well, eyes strained on the Japanese stand and the Greek stand next to it.
You were going to order your fish and chips first, and thankfully there wasn’t much of a line. You followed the maze of the line leading towards the cashier, and walked up to the smiling woman.
“What can I get you?” she asks, her tone bright and welcoming. You gave her your order, requesting only two fish rather than four along with a large drink. She repeated your order, asking for your school ID for the student discount, took your card, and made the transaction. You told the woman your name before making your way to the stand next to it. You grabbed the container of spicy crab sushi rolls, walking up to the cashier to pay for it.
Once you paid, you made your way towards an empty table, setting the rolls and your backpack down. Before you could sit, your name was called. You walked towards the counter of the Greek stand and grabbed your tray of fish and chips and your drink. When everything was laid out in front of you, you had your earphones in, show ready, and took your sweet time eating dinner.
Everything tasted so delicious. You’ve been craving sushi and the fish and chips for a while, but because you never had a reason to eat on campus, you never bothered eating here. Now, however, you gave yourself a reason, and it was the best decision you’ve made in a while.
Eventually you finished eating, packed your belongings, rode the bus towards your dorms, and closed the door to your room behind you. Immediately you stripped your clothes, feeling free as you slipped on your gray pajama pants and a light pink short sleeved shirt. You were about to binge something on Netflix, eat your tub of ice cream in your freezer, and pass out around midnight. Maybe later.
Before you could begin your steps to getting comfortable and eating, a knock was heard on your door, both startling you and confusing you. No one would be bothering you unless it was your RA, but he wouldn’t bother anyone this late. You peeked through the peephole, seeing blond hair on the other side of the door. You frowned. Why did the blond hair look familiar?
Grabbing the handle, you twisted it and slowly pulled the door open, but the person on the other side pushed themselves in, causing you to stumble back. “Where is she?” the man said, as he walked into your room. You barely had time to open your mouth before the stranger turned around to look at you, eyes fuming. That’s when it hit you. You knew who this man was. Ari’s stories scared you, but seeing him in person, showing his anger scared you more. “Where the hell is she?” he asked again, voice a bit louder than before.
“I-I don’t know,” you tell him, voice shaking.
Leo. Ari’s ex. She broke up with him your first year at the dorms when his verbal abuse became too much. Ari said he never hit her, but the way he talked to her made her feel worthless, and the way he yelled and got close to her scared her. He didn’t break you physically, but he did mentally.
“Then you’re going to take me to her,” he tells you, grabbing you by your wrist and dragging you out your room.
“I’m telling you--I don’t know where she is. Please let me go,” you begged, trying hard to stop him from dragging you down the hall, but you weren’t strong compared to him. With your free hand, you tried to have him let you go. “Please Leo. Please let me go--I’m telling you the truth, I don’t know where she is!” You felt warm tears stream down your cheeks.
He wasn’t listening to you. He was going to drag you to his car and force you to find Ari. Maybe he’ll abandon you somewhere where you’ve never been. Maybe this is where you die.
A hand appeared, grabbing Leo’s wrist, forcing him to stop. “What do you think you’re doing?” Leo turned back to face the person holding his wrist while you looked up to see Yoongi standing next to you. “You should let go of her.”
Leo scoffs, “Not until she tells me where Ari is.”
Yoongi had a blank expression as he said, “She’s out with my roommate for the weekend.”
“What?” Leo growled, grip on your wrist tightening causing you to whimper as he grabbed Yoongi by his shirt with his free hand and push him against the wall.
“I’d suggest you leave. You have an audience, and you won’t be running far before the cops catch you for entering a room uninvited, harming her, and I’m guessing you already have a record, so this’ll be bad for you,” Yoongi says, tone so calm as if he wasn’t being threatened by someone who looked stronger than him. Leo’s grip around your wrist loosened just a bit, and the voices behind you could finally be heard over the rapid beating of your heart.
Leo was silent. No words were said between the two as they stared one another down. Could Yoongi be stronger to challenge Leo? You’d never know as Leo finally lets go of your wrist, jabbing a finger at Yoongi’s chest. “This isn’t over,” he whispers before storming out the hall and down the staircase.
You remained still, staring at the spot Leo was just at. You were afraid he’d come back if you moved. You thought that maybe if you stayed here, he wouldn’t come back.
“Hey.” You blinked, sucking in a breath as you turned your head to look at Yoongi who was leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets. He looked you up and down. “Where are your keys?”
It took you a bit to comprehend what he was asking, but when you were finally able to push the thoughts of what happened back, it dawned on you. “In my room,” you whisper.
“The office is closed so you can’t use their key to get in,” he began, pushing himself off the wall, “so it looks like you’re with me.” You stared at him with wide eyes. You were going to sleep in his room? Just the two of you? What would everyone in this hall think if they watched you walk into his room? “Everyone has gone back to their rooms, so no one will see,” he tells you. Everyone is gone? Slowly, you turn around to see an empty hall. When did everyone go to their room? Yoongi took a few steps before he reached his room and opened his door, staring at you as he held it open. “Well?”
This was the one time where you wished you weren’t so paranoid and left the latch to your bathroom door open so you could just go to your neighbors and get to your room through the bathroom, but you knew for a fact that you closed it. You couldn’t hate yourself any more than you did right now as you walked into his room.
Yoongi’s room was pretty much set up the same way your room is. Except, the only thing is that everything is on the opposite side of yours. While Hoseok had some rather bright colored bed sheets, Yoongi was more on the darker side. Having just a simple black pillow case and gray blanket.
“You can take my bed,” he tells you, and before you could respond, he adds, “I washed the sheets if that’s what you’re thinking.”
That wasn’t what you were thinking. In fact, you actually forgot what happened yesterday. You felt rather uncomfortable sleeping in his bed, but the more you thought about it, the better his suggestion made sense. If you slept in Hoseok’s bed, Ari may find a strand of hair or something and that could lead to something you did not want to happen for them. So, you nodded and climbed into his bed.
The blanket and pillow smelled like fabric softener and shampoo. He must have been lying in bed before he found you and Leo in the hall. Your thoughts went back to Leo, your heart racing and body slightly shaking. You were fighting the urge to cry. You did not want to cry in front of him. However, the sound of music began to play, getting loud enough to block out a conversation.
You weren’t sure if he did it for you or not, but you were grateful as your vision began to blur, and the view from the closet mirror of your hero working at his desk go blurry as you cried yourself to sleep.
Chapter 6: 05
I fixed some things that I realized I didn't have like I did on my other blog. Chapter three is a new chapter. I forgot to add that chapter to here, so I added it now, and chapter four was the previous chapter three if that makes sense.
You sat in silence, hands rubbing together as the loud chatter rang all around. You were trying to calm your nerves, but you couldn’t keep calm. You didn’t want to be here. You just want to go back to your dorm and lie in bed for the rest of your life.
“Y/N?” a voice called. You stood to your feet as an officer on the other side of the hall opened the door further. “You ready?” When you gave a short nod, he said, “All right, follow me.” However, when you were hesitant to follow, he smiles reassuringly and understanding.
The chair creaked behind you. “You’ll be fine. I’ll be out here waiting for you,” Yoongi tells you, placing his hand on top of your head as he lightly pushes you towards the officer.
Entering the small room, the officer closed the door behind him. “Now, Y/N, we believe we have found the suspect, but it’s always best to have the witness confirm. In a second, through this window”--the officer points at the large window that shows nothing but a wall with lines and numbers showing someone’s height--“six people are going to go in, and we are going to need you to identify which person is Mr. Walter. Just state the number you believe is Mr. Walter.”
You nodded in response, hearing a small, “send them in”, and a door open from inside the room on the other side of the window. Six men walk in, all of similar height, build and complexion line up against the wall. When they turned to face you, your eyes immediately found Leo. He looked mad, even worse than yesterday. You didn’t want to be here. You want to leave.
“Y/N,” the officer began, standing next to you, “Mr. Walter can’t see you, and when we throw him in jail, he’s going back home to spend time there since he violated the restraining order.” He smiled at you, making you feel a bit more at ease.
“Number three,” you tell him, voice a bit shaky.
Everything after that was a blur. The suspects disappeared behind the door they came through, the officer was talking you through the following steps, you did some other things you couldn’t remember, and you were finally leaving the station.
You stood outside the police station, taking in the biggest gasp of air and wiping away a few tears that fell. You were done. You weren't going to see him again. That's what you want to believe. That's what you are hoping for. To never see the anger he had in his eyes, never to feel the fear you felt that night.
There was a tap on the side of your head. Looking up, you see Yoongi standing next to you, eyes looking ahead. “Let's go,” he tells you, walking ahead towards the parking lot.
You followed, feeling mentally exhausted as you got into the passenger seat.
Turning the key, his car came to life. Resting your head against the window, Yoongi put the car in reverse and drove out of the police station parking lot. The two of you rode in silence, going down the familiar street that led towards the dorms where you could collapse into bed and sleep the day away. You might not even go to school tomorrow. As you got closer to the dormitory, Yoongi didn’t stop. He continued down the street.
You turned your head to look at him in confusion, but he kept his eyes on the road and made no side glance to you. “I’m hungry,” was all he said. After a few minutes of driving, he pulled into the parking lot of a small café. Finding a parking spot, and turning off the car, you followed Yoongi out the vehicle and into the pastel blue building.
When you entered, you were met with the instant smell of coffee and pancakes. The smell was so overwhelming it made your stomach rumble, letting you know just how hungry you are. Inside the café was quite quant. Booths ran along one side of the wall, chairs lining around the counter in the center. A few servers walked around, handing plates, picking them up and taking orders.
You followed Yoongi as he took a seat in an empty booth. You sat across from him as a waiter came up and greeted you.
“Good morning,” he began, pulling out a notepad and pen, “what would you like to drink?”
“Coffee,” Yoongi says, grabbing the menu from behind the ketchup bottle at the end of the table.
The waiter jots it down, eyes meeting yours as he finishes writing. “Orange juice please,” you tell him, giving a small, exhausted smile.
He nods, writing you order down before saying, “Will this be a separate check or together?”
You open your mouth to answer, but Yoongi beats you to it, “Together.”
That caught you off guard, and it was clearly evident on your face as you can hear the waiter clear his throat and tell Yoongi, “okay” before walking away.
“Don’t argue,” he tells you, not even glancing up at you as he browses through the menu.
You wanted to argue. Tell him that you can pay for yourself, but you didn’t want to cause a scene, so you decided to not argue with him and to pay him back once you’re given the opportunity. You grab the menu, quickly looking through it for something that caught your eye the most. You took a mental note to pay Yoongi back. You hope you can remember to write it down when you get back to your dorm. Whether it be cash or paying him back by food, you would pay him back nevertheless.
The two of you were back to sitting in silence after the waiter took your order. However, there was a nagging feeling within you saying you need to thank him for yesterday and today. The voice was telling you how to thank him--creating the scenario in your head before anything could be forced past your lips.
Finally, the words were coming out, “I want to thank you.” You watch him as he looks up from his phone, eyes meeting yours and immediately your heart was racing. “For helping me yesterday with Leo, for calling the police on him”--you suck in a deep breath--“and for being there for me today.” You look down at your lap, unable to meet his gaze any longer. “I know that you’re only supposed to help me find a boyfriend, but I really appreciate you helping me with this too.” You were really fighting back the tears. “I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t there to stop him.”
“Well,” he began, you attention going up to him as he leaned back in his seat, “you can pay me back by getting yourself a boyfriend. I don’t want any other ways of paying me back.”
You weren’t really sure as to how you should take that statement, but you said nothing and nodded as the waiter came up to your table with your breakfast. For the remaining hour or so, you and Yoongi said nothing. You didn’t know what to talk about, and it was strange that he didn’t say anything at all. It was strange even though the two of you haven’t known each other that long. You were used to him nagging about something you did.
By the time the two of you were done, you were trying to calm yourself. No matter what you thought to yourself, no matter what you imagined, you couldn’t keep your heart rate at an even pace. Some time in the middle of eating your pancake, you thought of this being a date. You imagined this being your first date as a couple. Him surprising you by knocking at your door and telling you to get dressed, him leading you towards his car with no hint as to where you’re going. He takes you here first, the two of you eat in a comfortable silence, and then when you’re done, he leads you back to the car. From there, everything would be an adventure. An adventure of fun and romance.
And you were having such a hard time keeping yourself together. You couldn’t look him in the eyes, you couldn’t utter a word without stuttering like an idiot. So, you kept to yourself until Yoongi pulled up to the dorms, found a parking spot, and the two of you were out of his car. You wanted to make a run for your room, but that would be weird and embarrassing for you, so you walked ahead of him, remembering how the two of you aren’t supposed to be seen together.
Thankfully no one was really up yet, but the front desk had just opened their window as you walked up to the door to your dorm building. Then you remembered you don’t have your ID with you to open the door, and so you stood staring inside the building like an even bigger idiot than you were ten minutes ago. You were about to press the button to call the desk when Yoongi appeared next to you, his ID in his hand. He said nothing as you moved to the side while he pressed his ID to the scanner, hearing a beep and opened the door. You followed in giving a quiet thank you before quickly making your way towards the desk. The woman behind the desk smiled at you as you walked up to her.
“Can I help you?” she asked, pressing the power button to the computer.
“I got locked out of my dorm room last night,” you tell her.
“Okay. Can I see your ID?” She holds out her hand for you to give her the ID.
“That’s another problem. My ID is in my room too.”
She slowly nods. “Do you have any ID?” You shake your head and her expression changes. She looks at you like you’re trying to break into someone’s room. “I can’t let you in without any identification to prove you live here.”
You felt your heart drop. “Please,” you whisper. “I can tell you everything about myself. My address, my social security, my date of birth--I’ve had a long night and all I want to do is go to my room and sleep.” Your vision was getting blurry and you knew you were on the verge of crying. Something you did not want to do in front of this stranger.
She stared at you for a moment, as if she was contemplating on what to do. Finally, as you wipe your eyes, she says, “Let me see what I can do.” You nodded, watching her type away at her computer. After a few seconds, she confirmed that you lived in the dorms. She never told you how she confirmed this as she opened your door for you. “Try your best to have something next time, okay?”
“I will. Thank you so much.” She only nodded in reply as she walked back down the hall towards the staircase. You closed the door, feeling relieved that you’re finally alone. Pressing your forehead against the door, you let out a small whimper.
You’ve felt exhausted before. You’ve felt drained before, but this time…
This time you felt drained in more ways than one. Mentally. Physically. You wanted to cry, scream and sleep the entire day away. You just wanted this weekend to be over and for Monday to come so you could distract yourself and forget all about what happened. As you pushed yourself off the door, you could see yourself in the reflection from your peripheral. You couldn’t help but look in the mirror. You forgot you were in your pajamas, wearing Yoongi’s sneakers, and eyes red and puffy from your crying yesterday. You looked like a mess.
You sighed, taking off Yoongi’s sneakers and climbed into bed--you’ll have to give them back the next time you see him. Pulling the blanket over your body, you buried your head in your pillow and cried yourself to sleep. Just like you did yesterday.
He was sent to jail. There is nothing to be afraid of. He was going to jail in his hometown. He’ll be far away from you. There is nothing to be afraid of.
The sound of the door opening caught your attention. When it closed, followed by the loud bang it usually gives, your bed shook and the bang sounded like it was coming from next door. Was Yoongi barely entering his room? Where was he when he entered the building with you?
You liked to imagine he was watching over you while you talked with the lady at the front desk, making sure you got to your room. It put you at ease just a bit.
Chapter 7: 06
You stood up from your seat, packing your notebooks and textbooks into your backpack. You decided to study outside on campus, wanting to feel the slight cool breeze. Zipping your backpack close, a cup of iced coffee was placed at your table. You look up at the person who placed the coffee on the table and you realized it was Ari.
You sigh, “I thought I said you don’t have to get me anything.”
She gave you a small frown. “I know,” she began, picking the cup up again and holding it out towards you, “but I feel bad that I let this happen to you. You’re my best friend, Y/N, and I’m so mad that he came to our dorm and hurt you.”
“He didn’t do anything,” you tell her, grabbing the iced coffee from her.
“You have a bruise,” she countered.
“I just bruise easily,” you mumbled, taking a sip of coffee. You have no idea what it is, but Ari always knows how to pick the types of foods and drinks that would fit your taste buds.
“Still, he caused that bruise and it’s my fault,” she argues, following you as you make your way towards the escalator that led down to the second bus stop heading towards your dorm.
You rode down the escalator, Ari behind you, shaking your head. “Well thank you. I need something to wake me up.”
“Where are you headed?” Ari asked you as the two of you got off and walked past the outdoor seating area where a few students sat at the tables eating their lunch.
“I’m going to the shelter. I have to start my project so I can still be on track with my schedule,” you answer, walking up to the huge bus stop where a bus just took off. Thankfully it wasn’t your bus.
"Do you need a ride?"
"It's a twenty minute walk. I'll be fine."
"It's already late in the day. By the time you get out, the sun will be gone and you'll be walking back at night and that's dangerous," Ari commented, following you as the bus pulled forward and opened the doors. The two of you enter the bus, pressing your passes against scanner before taking a seat closer to the middle of the bus. “At least let me pick you up from the shelter so you don’t have to walk. We can grab dinner and see a movie,” she bribes, clutching your arm as if you’re her boyfriend.
“Fine,” you groan as the doors close and the bus takes its leave from the stop. And so for the rest of the ride to your dorms, you listened to Ari talk about her three day vacation with Hoseok. She’ll explain specific parts in more detail when the two of you are alone, and you are not looking forward to it.
After reaching your dorm and replacing your backpack with a bag holding a camera, pens and notebook, you grabbed your keys and earphones before heading out. “Call me when you’re ready!” Ari called before the door closed behind you.
Putting your earphones in, you walked past a group of friends as they walked up the stairs, forming a line so you could walk down. You could hear their laughs even over your music. Out the front doors, passed the large group of people leaving the shuttle, you reach the sidewalk and make you way up towards the shelter.
Five minutes into your walk, a figure appears next to you, walking beside you. You jumped, one hand clutching your bag and the other over your chest. Yoongi did not glance at you as he kept up with your pace.
“What are you doing here?” you asked him, rubbing your chest as if it will calm your racing heart.
“Where are you going?” he counters, ignoring you completely.
“I’m going to the animal shelter. Are you heading in this direction too?” you question, removing your earphones and placing them in your pocket.
“Did you forget?” He shoves his hands in his pockets, glancing at you briefly.
“Forget what?” You thought back to all your previous conversations, but nothing came to mind that would relate to today.
He sighs, “In order for me to help you find someone, I need to know what you’re like. Which means I have to actually see what you’re like. Which means you’re supposed to tell me when you’re going to do something.”
You were taken aback. “It’s just for a project,” you mumble.
“A project shows how dedicated you are to school.”
You looked away, voice barely a whisper. “That’s a dumb reason.”
“What’d you say?” Yoongi questioned.
“I-I said we’re here,” you stuttered, pointing ahead to the shelter that was coming into view. You glanced at Yoongi to see if he believed you, but with such a straight face, you couldn’t tell whether he believed you or not, or what he was even thinking.
The two of you walked up to the doors of the shelter, pictures of cats and dogs plastered on the windows as you got closer. When you entered the building, you were met with the sounds of barking as someone entered the back room where all the dogs would be. The lobby was rather small, chairs to the right along the window, and tables full of blankets, pet toys and food to the left. Ahead of you was a long desk where three women sat; one on the phone, and two talking to one another.
One of the women talking turned to look at you, a smile on her face as she asked, “Can I help you?”
You walked up to the desk. “I called about a week ago. I’m doing a project on sheltered animals.”
Her eyes lit up in realization. “Oh, you must be Y/N.” You nodded in relief, glad that they remembered your call. “You came just in time. Rory just finished his shift, so he’ll be able to tell you about some of the animals.”
“Perfect. Thank you,” you say, watching her as she picked up the phone to most likely call this Rory person. You took a seat at one of the chairs, forgetting Yoongi came with you until he took a seat next to you. You tried your best not to jump in surprise. So, as the two of you waited, you opened your bag and did a double check to make sure you had everything you needed. As you pull out your recorder, you handed it to Yoongi. He took it in confusion. “Since you’re here, you can record the conversation while I take pictures.”
“Y/N?” a voice called out. You look towards the desk where a man stood. He was an older gentleman, brown hair slowly turning gray, a blue shirt with the shelters name on it, and black jeans. He smiled at you as you got to your feet. “Welcome. I’m Rory. We spoke on the phone last week?”
You shook his hand. “Yeah. Nice to meet you.” You gesture to Yoongi when Rory looked to him. “This is my partner. He’ll be recording the conversation if that’s all right.”
“Of course!” Rory chuckles, shaking Yoongi’s hand as well. “So I have a few pets all ready for us. If you’ll just follow me.” You follow Rory as the three of you walk back outside and around the building. “We will first go to the play area for the dogs and after that, we head towards the cats,” he informs as he opens the gate to an open area.
You place your bag down and grab your camera, making sure everything is perfect just as a door opens and a puppy comes running out. You couldn’t help but gasp at the small golden colored pup. You were so lost in how cute the puppy was, you forgot the whole point in coming. It wasn’t until you felt Yoongi nudge you, that you set your mind back to the main task. “Can you begin recording please?”
You took all sorts of pictures. Pictures of Charlie jumping, running around, licking Rory’s hand. You wanted to get every picture possible, and this continued with Rosie, the adult dog that came next. She was a happy dog--probably happy to see people and to socialize, but a very happy dog nonetheless. She followed commands and loved to play fetch. Then came Jasper, the elder dog. He was calm and not as energetic. Your heart sank at the fact that he was still here.
“Jasper was given to us when his owners moved countries. They couldn’t bring him with them. He’s trained and deaf, so using sign language is how you get him to sit and lay down,” Rory informs as Jasper walks over to Yoongi, who was sitting on the floor with the rest of you. You watch as Jasper lays down, resting his head on Yoongi’s lap. You pretend not to notice as you listen to Rory explain Jaspers situation.
Eventually, you couldn’t help but turn your camera towards Yoongi. His attention was focused on Jasper fast asleep. He was petting Jasper’s head, every now and then rubbing his ear. You took one picture and Yoongi’s attention was now on you. “I’ll crop you out,” you explain, taking more pictures.
You’ve never seen Yoongi act so… soft around anyone before. The way he looked at Jasper made your heart race. He didn’t have this straight face he always carried. He looked at Jasper like he loved him as his own pet.
As the interview continued on, you moved inside to where the cats were. You took many pictures of the cats walking around, playing with toys and sleeping. You couldn’t help but compare cats to Yoongi. They did what they wanted, and didn’t care what you say about it. You almost giggled at the thought of Yoongi being a cat asking for attention.
By the time you were done with the interviews, it was already past seven. You packed up your stuff, thanked Rory and everyone else, and headed outside. The cool breeze hit you lightly as you stepped out with Yoongi. It seems it got colder since the last time you were outside.
“Thank you,” you began, adjusting the strap to your bag, “for recording the conversation, and even asking more questions.” You felt embarrassed when you blanked out on what questions to ask. Turns out you forgot your list of questions you had prepared for the interview.
“Well what a coincidence,” a familiar voice boomed. Turning your head, you see Hoseok and Ari standing by Hoseok’s car. “What are you two doing here?” he asks, clearly knowing what you’re doing here. Ari was giving you a mischievous look. You looked away, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks.
“Work,” Yoongi replies bluntly.
“Well since we’re all here, I’m getting hungry. How about we go out and eat? The four best friends,” Hoseok beams, getting straight to the point.
“I’m good,” Yoongi says, but Hoseok doesn’t seem to hear him as he grabs Yoongi by the arm and practically drags him towards his car all while Yoongi let out quiet complaints.
“Y/N, front and center!” Ari commands, causing you to jump and quickly walk up to her. She points to the back seat. “In.”
You got in without uttering a complaint or questioning her. Yoongi was pushed into the seat next to you not even complaining anymore.
What just happened?
Chapter 8: 07
The car ride was awkward for you. Hoseok and Ari were chatting away while you and Yoongi sat in the back in complete silence. This is not what you expected, but it seems that Ari had something else in mind and dragged Hoseok along, waiting for who knows how long until the two of you left the shelter. You opened your bag, pulling out your camera. Turning it on, and going to your pictures, you began to browse through all the photos you took today.
“Did they come out good?” Yoongi asked, voice just loud enough for you to hear.
You looked to him, surprised that he was interested, but his eyes were on your camera, trying to see how the pictures came out. “Yeah. I got some good ones,” you tell him, showing the screen as you browsed through the pictures together. The two of you looked through the photos you took. The photos you took captured the moments of joy for the animals. When they played with Rory, when the dogs ran around the fenced area, not wanting to go inside. Even when Charlie came up to you, sniffing the camera; you got a perfect picture of his big brown eyes and the round of his snout. It was then you reached the photos of Jasper, your conscious clearly aware of Yoongi leaning in close to you. When you reached the photos, you tried your best to not linger on the photos of Yoongi and Jasper.
“Wait,” Yoongi murmurs, and you stop, glancing at him. “Go back.” You click back to the previous photo of Yoongi petting Jasper. “Can you send me that one?” he asks, finally meeting your gaze.
You were fully aware as to how close the two of you had gotten. Swallowing hard, you replied with a small voice, “Yeah.”
“We’re here,” Hoseok bellowed, making you jump away from Yoongi.
Turning off your camera, and trying to play it cool, you looked out the window to see a building with blue shingles, a big sign running along the wall, and a jukebox like entrance with different colors. “Mary Ann’s?” Ari asks as Hoseok pulls into a parking space.
“Yeah,” Hoseok beamed, putting the car in park and turning the engine off. “I heard this place is great. Great burgers, amazing shakes–plus, everything inside is a 50s theme.” He exited the car, giving the three of you no time to say anything. As you got out of the car and closed the door, Hoseok was already reaching for Ari’s hand. “I’ve always wanted to go on a double date–or I guess date and two friends tagging along,” he corrected, smiling sheepishly at you.
“Well I for sure am hungry. Let’s go,” Ari exclaimed, walking with Hoseok towards the building but not before grabbing your hand and dragging you along. You stumbled a bit until you finally matched her pace, looking both ways to make sure no car was going to hit you since Ari didn’t even bother looking.
Entering through the blue pastel double doors, you were immediately hit with the smell of burgers and a song you didn’t know but could tell the singer was Elvis Presley. Your dad loves his music. The inside was your typical diner; booths to the left and right, a counter running along the middle with stools, and a waitress or two wearing blue dresses with their hair up in a bun. The floor was checkered, walls pink with photos of people you recognize and didn’t recognize while the seating was blue. You’re pretty sure if you looked up a 50s diner, this would be it. Hoseok, who was still holding Ari’s hand, who was still holding yours, dragged the two of you past several booths occupied by people before finding a booth at the end.
Ari let your hand go, gesturing with her head to enter the booth. As you got in, expecting Ari to sit next to you, you were shocked to see her sitting across from you. You shot daggers at her as she smirked in response with Hoseok occupying the seat next to her and Yoongi slid into the booth next to you. You looked to the side, staring at the photos on the wall, only recognizing the photo of the cast from I Love Lucy. Your dad would always drag you into the living room to watch it with him.
“It’s a family thing,” he would tell you every time you would question him.
“Welcome to Mary Ann’s,” a voice interrupted, placing four menus on the table as you looked up at her. “My name is Irene. Can I get you started on something to drink?” Irene wore the blue dress like everyone else, a white apron tied around her waist, and a small white hat on top of her head. She was pretty, and you couldn’t help but imagine her living in the 50s. She would get everyone’s attention with just her beauty alone. As you all gave her your order for drinks, she smiles, writing it down and leaving the four of you. Even her smile was pretty.
“So what’s your project about, Y/N?” Hoseok asks, folding his arms on the table.
You were caught by surprise by his sudden question, but quickly recovered and answered, “The project is to convince the audience to buy or participate in your project by capturing moments of what your project is about.”
Irene appears with a tray full of drinks. She hands them out to you, tucking the tray under her arm as she pulls out her notepad and pen once again. “Would you like to order now or do you still need a few minutes?” she asks, eyes meeting your briefly before scanning the rest of the group. You quickly glanced at the menu, finding what looked the most appetizing as Hoseok and Ari agreed to tell Irene their order.
When Irene left once again with your orders written on her notepad, Hoseok turned to you. “So you’re project is to convince people to adopt animals through pictures?”
You nod, taking a sip of your drink. “There are a lot of animals in the shelter that need homes. Especially the older ones.”
Ari sighs. “I don’t like going to the shelter because all I want to do is take every animal home. My dad wants another dog, so maybe I can convince him to adopt one of the dogs here,” she says, tapping her chin in thought.
“Is there a way to convince your dad to adopt an older dog?” you ask in a hopeful tone, sitting up straight.
“An older dog?”
You nodded quickly. “There’s an older dog named Jasper. He is such a sweet dog. He loves resting his head on your lap and sleeping.”
Ari laughs. “He’s just like my dad. He always rests his head on Mom’s lap before falling asleep.” Pulling out her phone from her bag, she types away for a few seconds, locks her phone and puts it back in her bag. “Knowing my dad, he’ll be out here on his day off to look at the animals. Which should be tomorrow or the day after.” She smiles. “Be sure to show me a picture of Jasper when we get back.”
You couldn’t help but lean back in your seat in relief. Ari’s dad may take Jasper home and he can live the rest of his days in a happy home being loved and taken care of. He won’t be sad and alone when his time comes. You’ll have to send Ari’s dad a big basket of his favorite things if he takes Jasper home. Maybe just send it to him for even considering taking Jasper home.
“So,” Hoseok chimes in. “Ari and I were thinking about the four of us going camping during break.” The way he looked at both you and Yoongi told you that he was not going to take no for an answer. Hoseok seemed dead set on getting the four of you to go together. One couple and one person who has major feeling for the other. This was bad.
“No,” Yoongi said blatantly. Clearly he didn’t care for Hoseok’s determined eyes.
“What’s your excuse?” Hoseok challenged, a daring look on his face.
“I’ll be working most likely,” he states, grabbing his glass to take a drink.
Hoseok sighs, “You can’t be stuck in the studio the entire week.”
“It won’t be the entire week. I’ll be in the shop from time to time, too.”
“How about this”–Hoseok adjusts himself in his seat, pointing a hand in Yoongi’s direction–“I help you with whatever you need if you’ll just come with us.”
Hoseok interrupts Yoongi, “Listen Mr. Producer, I’m gonna convince you no matter what. Every year you spend break either in the studio or shop. I get being in the shop, but I bet your boss will let you go on vacation.”
Irene appears at the table with a tray of your food. She places your plate in front of you before plastering a smile and saying, “Enjoy.”
You grab a fry, ready to dig in when Ari speaks up, “Are you going to come with us, Y/N?”
You look up to see both Ari and Hoseok staring at you. Lowering the fry from your mouth, you answer, “Yeah, I’ll go.” You could see the joy in Ari’s eyes and Hoseok’s smile grow. Your original plan was to stay in your dorm since your parents were going on their anniversary trip that week. You could have gone home and stayed there, but it seemed like a waste of time when you have everything here.
“We’ll have lots of fun,” Ari tells you, smiling as she takes a bite out of her burger.
“What exactly is the plan?” you ask, finally taking a bit out of your food. God was it delicious. Everything about this burger was amazing. From the patty to everything they put on it. It felt like taking a bite out of heaven.
“We rent out a cabin. Since there may be snow it’s best to just get a cabin so that we don’t die out there,” Ari explains being a bit dramatic with the way she said it.
“How much will it be?” you couldn’t help but ask. You don’t have a nine to five job, and that only means saving up like there’s no tomorrow to help pay for this trip.
“Oh, don’t worry about that. A friend of mine owes me,” Hoseok tells you.
Now you’re really curious. “How much are they usually?”
Hoseok stared at you for a moment before glancing away and clearing his throat. “A couple hundred per night,” he mutters, but you hear him loud and clear.
“A couple–” Ari started but couldn’t finish. You look at her. Clearly she didn’t know about this either based off of her shocked expression. “And he’s okay with this?”
Hoseok meets her gaze. “Yeah. He owes me big time.”
“Did you save his life or something?” she asks, clearly not letting it go.
Hoseok chuckles. “Not that drastic. I just saved him from failing class.”
“That’s it?” you and Ari ask in unison, but she was louder than you.
Hoseok smiles triumphantly. “That was the last class he needed to graduate.”
It took a while before Ari finally let it go. For the rest of the dinner you ate in silence, listening to Ari and Hoseok talking to one another, then you, and Hoseok mainly talking to Yoongi and receiving a few words from him. You wanted to ask Yoongi questions about his major, but you didn’t want to be ignored by him in front of Ari and Hoseok. From how protective Ari is about you, and how friendly Hoseok is, one of them would say something and the drive back would be awkward.
Maybe you’re just blowing things out of proportion. Maybe you’re not.
“Is there anything else I can get you guys? Desert?” Irene asks as she began to grab the empty plates.
“I want ice cream,” Yoongi requested, not even looking at any of you.
“Guess we’ll have some shakes,” Hoseok says, suppressing a laugh most likely from Yoongi’s small request. You couldn’t help but find it cute.
After finishing your shake, letting Ari try yours and you trying hers, and paying for your dinner, the four of you left the diner, making your way towards Hoseok’s car. You couldn’t deny that you enjoyed today. You finally started on your project, you surprisingly spent time with Yoongi without him questioning you or analyzing you openly, and you had a great dinner with your friends and Yoongi.
By the time Hoseok drove into the parking lot of the dorms and found a spot, it was already past nine. Thankfully you had class at nine tomorrow so you can stay up late to get everything ready for your paper and presentation on your project. You followed Hoseok and Ari down the usual route towards your dorm from the outdoor stairway.
However, before you turned the corner to pass the indoor staircase leading down to the rest of the dorms and enter your hall, you felt a hand grab your arm. You turned around to meet eyes with Yoongi. Letting go of your arm, he says, “Meet me at the back parking lot Friday.”
“O-okay,” you stuttered.
He nods in acknowledgement before walking past you and towards his room. You followed feeling happy while also dreading meeting with him on Friday.
Chapter 9: 08
Warning: This chapter contains semi smut
[12:57 pm] Jerk: Wear something nice
Something nice? Like formal? Cute? What are you supposed to do?
You groaned, tossing your phone on your bed, you grab your shower caddie and towel before entering the bathroom to shower. As you showered you began to think of what kind of outfits you had in your closet you could wear. You could put on a pair of jeans and a nice top if you can find one. Should you wear black jeans or blue? A sweatshirt or sweater? A shirt and cardigan? So many simple and boring outfits to wear and you still can’t decide.
When you finished showering, you stepped out into your room to still find it empty. Seems Ari is going to have dinner with Hoseok tonight. You tossed your towel on your bed as you opened your top drawer to your dresser under your bed. You dug through the drawer until you pulled out your black bra and panties. After putting them on, you opened your closet door and scanned through your wardrobe. Of course, like you predicted, you had exactly what you thought. Boring, simple clothes. You continued to dig through your clothes, passing through t-shirts and tank tops you knew weren’t nice enough to be worn in front of Yoongi.
You froze. “Oh my God I’m trying so hard to impress the guy I like who’s trying to help me find someone else.” You were stressing yourself out over something so silly, yet you wanted so badly to get his attention. Was this ridiculous? It has to be.
Sighing loudly, you started at the front of the line of your clothes where sweaters and sweatshirts hung. What surprised you was finding a skirt at the start of the line rather than finding a shirt. You pulled out the burgundy colored skirt, trying to remember why you have this. Then it hit you. Your mom bought you this skirt thinking you’d wear this for school. You didn’t have it in your heart to leave it in your room knowing you never would wear it, so you brought it here. Who knew you’d wear it now.
Pulling the skirt from its hanger, you put it on. The skirt started at your waist and ended at your ankle. It flowed at your movement as you swayed side-to-side. Now, what kind of shirt should you wear? You really didn’t have anything that could go with it the skirt. Well, you did but it’s in the basket and needs to be washed, but you don’t have enough time to toss it in before you’re supposed to meet with Yoongi. Glancing at Ari’s closet, you guessed she probably had a lot more cute shirts. You felt guilty about not asking her for permission to borrow her things first, but you knew she wouldn’t be answering her phone if you called or texted her. You’ll have to apologize to her later.
Stepping to her closet, you opened it to be met with all sorts of colors and styles. You began to skim through it, passing all the revealing shirts you could never bring yourself to wear. You were beginning to lose hope until something caught your eye. Bringing out the gray sweater you realized it was a crop top. Now what are you supposed to do?
Glancing at the clock on your desk from the mirror, you’ve come to the conclusion that you don’t have enough time to debate. Tossing the shirt on your bed, and putting the hanger back on the rack, you close the closet door before grabbing your towel off your bed and drying your hair. You did what you could with your hair and face in a short amount of time. It was always wake up, shower and go rather than wake up earlier, shower and put on makeup then go. Now you actually have to try with a nice outfit like the one you’re wearing. When you’re done, you put on the shirt and stare at yourself in the mirror.
The end of the crop top met with the beginning of your skirt, so no skin was actually revealed unless you lifted your arms. Now it was just time for shoes. Digging through your closet, you were lucky to have brought your black ankle boots. Putting on a pair of socks, you slipped your feet into the boots and giving yourself a once over again. You honestly felt cute, and you couldn’t stop the butterflies from fluttering in your stomach at the thought of Yoongi seeing you.
Would he think you looked cute too?
You shake your head of that thought as you grabbed a small purse from the hook in your closet. Fishing your wallet from your school bag, you put it in your purse, along with your keys, and lip gloss. Going over everything in your head to make sure you have everything, you close the closet door. Picking your phone up from your bed where it laid charging, you checked the time. You had five minutes to get to the back parking lot. Pulling your phone from its charger you unlocked it and went to your messages to send a quick text to Ari.
[5:55 pm] Me: IOU
Locking your phone you took a deep breath before heading out the door. Feeling nervous, you walked in the opposite direction of the hall you would normally go. The hall was rather quiet except for the sound of your boots hitting the floor as you walked. You left your hall, passing the staircase where those living at the end of your hall, and those living in the east hall can access. You didn’t go down the stairs but entered the east hall, making a right and headed towards the door leading to the back of the building.
Stepping out into the cool night air you suppressed a shiver as you started down the steps. Reaching the last step your eyes scanned the small parking lot in the distance. You couldn’t see all the cars, but the ones you did, you couldn’t see anyone or Yoongi’s car. The sounds of laughter could be heard from one of the open windows as you walked past the second housing building. As you get closer, you were able to see the rest of the small parking lot, and standing next to a familiar car was Yoongi looking down at his phone as he leaned against his car.
You took in a deep breath before walking up to him, thoughts racing with so many questions that you thought of before when you looked at yourself in the mirror. From the sound of your heels clicking, Yoongi looked up to meet your eyes. He locked his phone and pushed himself off his car, looking you up and down before saying, “Good outfit.”
“Thank you,” you mumbled, trying not to look like that simple compliment made you want to turn into a puddle. From the street light you could see his outfit. He wore all black; the sleeves of his buttoned up shirt were rolled up to his elbow revealing his right arm to be completely covered in tattoos. You’ve never seen those before. You remember your first time dorming here, he wore a short sleeved shirt and you saw just one tattoo. Now it seems like a sleeve.
“Let’s head out,” he tells you, pulling out his keys from his pocket to unlock the doors.
You quickly walk to the passenger door and get inside the car. Placing your purse on your lap, you pulled the seatbelt over and buckled yourself in as Yoongi started the car. The music played quietly in the background while he put the car in drive, turned the headlights on, and turned right to exit the parking lot.
You tried to keep your eyes forward, but you kept glancing at his inked arm. You can’t help but wonder when he got it. It must have hurt to sit there for hours to get one thing done. Then you remembered the conversation that happened at the diner between Hoseok and Yoongi.
“Are you a tattoo artist?” you asked him, fully turning to look at him.
You could see him give you a quick glance before turning back on the road. “I am,” he replies.
So that’s what Hoseok and Yoongi meant by shop. “How long have you been an artist?”
“I got my license about a year ago.”
“So you’re majoring in arts?” you questioned, interested in getting to know more about him. You were going to ask as much as you can before he says something about it.
“Music production,” he corrects.
You cocked your head lightly. “You want to be a producer?”
“I like music and tattooing. One only needed a high school diploma, so I decided to get more educated in producing.” Yoongi makes a right turn down a neighborhood. “Why photography?” he suddenly voiced.
“Why did I major in photography?” He nods in response. You turn yourself to face forward as you answered, “I know there isn’t a lot to do in photography, but just like this project, I want to work with the wildlife and get people to see what’s happening. I also want to take photos of models on a runway. It would be interesting to see in person rather than on television all the time.” Yoongi began to slow down, driving by a line of cars with a few people getting out and walking in the same direction Yoongi drove. He continued down the street, passing the long line of cars until you finally saw why the cars were parked. People were standing outside a big, two story house with a banner draped along the front with strange signs on it. “We’re going to a sorority house?”
“It’s a party,” he states, finally pulling into a parking spot a bit further up ahead.
You could already feel your anxiety kicking in. “Either way, there is going to be a lot of people,” you stammered. You don’t do big crowds. They’ll judge you and the sorority girls will be mean because they don’t know you–
“I’ll be with you the whole time. Don’t worry,” Yoongi reassures, turning the car off and opening the car door to get out.
You shakily get out of the car as well, closing the door as he walks up to you. “You promise?”
He looks at you for a second before grabbing your purse from your shaking hands. He drapes the strap over your head so that it went across your chest. “Promise. Now today we’re just going to have a few drinks, talk to a few people, and relax. You won’t be doing anything on your own.”
You nod, watching him click a button on his key and hearing his car lock from behind you. You follow him as the two of you make your way towards the house, and that’s when you finally hear the muffled music. You couldn’t hear it before over your racing thoughts, but now it was as clear as day. Keeping as close as possible to Yoongi, the sorority house came to view, chatter could be heard and everyone seemed to be having a good time.
Following Yoongi up the walkway, you could hear the music a bit more clearly blaring on the other side of the door. You quietly took in a deep breath and blew it out as Yoongi reached for the handle and opened the door. The music was loud; the people were loud. Your fear skyrocketed. The place was cramped as you maneuver your way through to follow Yoongi further in the house. You could see a big group of people dancing to your left, some bodies grinding on one another while others jump.
Turning your attention back to what’s in front of you, you realized Yoongi is no longer there. You scanned around the area, but found no sign of him. You wanted to call out for him, but that would make you look like you were scared, and you didn’t want people to know you were lost and knew no one besides Yoongi. Now to a more reasonable excuse, you were sure no one could hear you over the blaring music. Taking in a deep breath, you continued forward heading in the direction you were already going. You kept going until you entered a different, more spacious room. Looking around you realized it was a sitting area with a few couches forming a square in the middle of the room. A few chairs placed along the walls and another doorway leading to what seems to be the kitchen to your right.
Not wanting to wander and end up somewhere you didn’t want to be, you took a seat at one of the chairs lining the wall, taking in a deep breath to calm yourself. You fish your phone out of your purse and unlock it, seeing a text from Ari. You click on the message.
[6:48 pm] Ari: ???
You quickly replied, glancing up at the group of people sitting at the couches in the center of the room laughing at something someone said.
[7:06 pm] Me: I borrowed your shirt
“Did you come here alone?”
Looking up from your phone, you see two girls standing in front of you. “Me?” you asked dumbly.
The blonde with blue eyes laughed. “Yes you,” she replies. She wore a white hoodie with jean shorts. Her black haired friend next to her wore the same. You wondered if they were part of a sorority.
“I didn’t come here alone, but I did get lost so I’m just waiting,” you inform them, smiling politely, but deep down you were a bit afraid. You don’t know how to be as social as them, or as bubbly.
“Well rather than sit here alone, come join us,” the girl with black hair says, grabbing your arm and pulling you to your feet. Her friend joined in as well, now basically dragging you across the room to the kitchen. You didn’t have much of an option since you knew you couldn’t decline their offer. Well, they really weren’t giving you one either as you entered the kitchen. You’ll just have to follow along and wait for Yoongi to find you, or you find him which would be a miracle if you were brave enough to wander. That also only depends if you can escape the over excited twins currently dragging you past the kitchen and into another room that had a few people surrounding a folding table. Stepping closer, you noticed ten, red cups on either ends of the table. It took you a minute to remember what this setup was, but Ari’s constant beg to have a game in your dorm room jogged your memory. They’re playing beer pong.
“We found a new player!” one of the girls cheered, a hand on your back.
Eyes of several people looked to you, and it was then that you realized you’re the new player. “Oh, uh. I’ve never played before,” you tell them, tone awkward as you rubbed your hands together like you usually would when you’re unsure of what to do.
“Don’t worry about that! It’s pretty simple, really. You just toss the ball across the table into one of the cups and the opponent drinks. You miss, they don’t drink, and the same goes for you, too.” You meet eyes with the blonde as she grabs your arm and leads you to the left side of the table. “Your partner will be Hanbin,” she tells you, pointing to a tall figure standing across the table.
He was handsome, you couldn’t deny that. He had jet black hair, his hazel eyes lighting up as he smiled at you. As he walked to your side of the table, you noticed his high cheekbones and pointed nose, smile crooked. You could smell his cologne. “Hey, my new teammate, you ready to win this?” his tone gravelly as he asked. When you opened your mouth and said nothing, he chuckled, “Don’t worry. I’ll help as much as I can.” He pats your back. “Let’s start!”
A female from across the table laughs. Just like how Hanbin’s good looking, the girl across the table was beautiful. Her strawberry blonde hair up in a perfect, messy bun, her cognac colored eyes staring at him in a playful manner, and her voice as smooth as honey. She wore the cutest floral dress with a jean jacket. “Don’t get so cocky yet, babe. You’re playing against the champion right now.”
Hanbin chuckles, shaking his head. “We’ll see. My girl is a pro, Sam.” Sam, the girl across the table, only smiles. “Let’s win–uh. Sorry I didn’t catch your name,” Hanbin tells you, a sheepish smile gracing his lips.
“Y/N,” you tell him in a small voice. These two are so social; it’s hard to keep up.
“Okay, Y/N. Let’s kick their asses and be champions of the month!” He holds his hand up for you to high five.
You lightly hit it. “A whole month?”
Hanbin smirks. “Yeah. Every month the sorority has a competition and winner has their picture taken and hung on the wall for a month.” He jerks his thumb behind him to the wall of photos. You look past him and at the pictures of teams from the previous games. “Last time I won was about last semester?” He places his hands on either side of your shoulders, guiding you to the end of it, standing to his left. “Okay. Who goes first?”
Sam taps her chin in thought. “Well since you’re so cocky, I guess we’ll let you go first.” She tosses both ping pong balls to him.
“It’s not being cocky, it’s being confident,” he exclaims, handing you a ball. You take the ball with hesitation. Are you supposed to just throw it right now? You never played before, and you’ve never actually seen Ari play. What are you supposed to do? You watched Hanbin raise his hand to eye level, the ball in this first three fingers. He stares in concentration before tossing the ball. It flies across the table and landing straight in the red cup at the front. “And that’s how it’s done,” he cheers, grinning from ear to ear.
“Game just started, bro,” Sam’s partner chuckles.
“Yeah, yeah,” Hanbin began, turning to look at you, “I’m confident we’ll win, so don’t feel like you have to make it right now. We have nine more tries to win.” You nod, but his words only made you more nervous. So, with shaky hands, you copied his position, facing the table you stared at the cups. You’ll have to toss it lightly, but not too lightly and not too hard. You tossed with medium force, watching the ball actually go in. Hanbin cheered for you as you stared in shock. “Drink up, my dudes!”
Taking out two shot glasses, Sam pours liquor into the glasses, handing one to her partner and takes a shot. And so the game continued on. You’ve had six shots so far, and you felt the buzz at drink two. You’re a lightweight it seems, seeing as you don’t really drink. You were giggling as Sam missed the cups, overshooting the ball. Eventually it was down to one cup on both teams. You can’t aim to save your life, and Hanbin seems like he’s not even buzzing.
“Let’s make this more interesting,” Sam suggests.
That seemed to have caught Hanbin’s attention. “What do you have in mind?”
Sam smirks at his interest. “We each toss a ball in the cup.”
“So one ball each team,” Hanbin states.
Hanbin chuckles. “Deal,” he says, tossing one ping pong ball to Sam. You have no idea what’s going on, but you watched in silence and slight dizziness as Hanbin gets into his position, Sam getting into hers. Then, as the entire table stared in silence, the two tossed their ball. You didn’t know where to look, but you tried to keep your eyes on Hanbin’s ball, watching it make it in the cup. He cheers, you cheering along with him. However, Sam and her partner are cheering as well.
“Oh shit, it’s a tie,” someone laughs.
You look into the cup to see a ball floating. They did make it, and that means she won as well. “What happens now?” you slurred.
Hanbin pats your head. “We tied. All four of us end up on the wall.”
“That also means we take one last shot,” Sam chimes in from across the table, already pouring her glass.
You turn to look at Hanbin with worry. “I don’t think I can take anymore,” you explain, knowing that if you take this last shot you may throw up.
“Don’t worry, I’ll take your shot for you,” he reassures, pouring a glass, drinking it, and pouring another. You looked at him with such admiration as he took your shot for you. He is your hero at this very moment. You wanted to hug him with gratitude, but that’s not like you. Maybe it’s because you’re drunk and it seems like you’re more of an extrovert when you’ve had a few drinks in you. You really want to hug him.
“Okay let’s take that photo. We’re breaking history, ladies and gentlemen,” Sam says, handing someone the camera and walking over towards you, followed by her partners whose name you still don’t know. She throws her arm around your shoulder, Hanbin doing the same, and the stranger stood next to Sam. You all looked to the camera and smiled, the flash blinding you briefly.
“That was fun–it was great,” you tell them, looking to both Sam and Hanbin as they smiled in agreement. “Thanks for letting me play."
"Of course!” your partner voiced, giving you another pat on your back, but it was a bit more rough. Maybe he is feeling the alcohol kick in. Or he’s so happy for his victory that he forgot his own strength. Or you’re just over guessing it.
You looked to the crowd staring at you, meeting eyes with the person you’ve been looking for but totally forgot you were supposed to be looking for him the second you took your first drink. “Yoongi!” you call, tone more high-pitched than it normally is. You happily skip over to him, a big smile on your face. “I just won a game of ping pong!” You shake your head. “Beer pong!”
He stares at you with that blank face you were beginning to find annoying. “I saw,” he quipped.
You frowned. “Really? Then why didn’t you come get me? I lost you earlier and waited at the chairs until you found me, but you didn’t and now I’m drunk and a little dizzy. But I made some new friends!” He looked behind you at your two new friends, but his expression looked dejected. For the first time, you were able to make out an expression, and it made your chest hurt at the look he was giving. “Yoongi?” you whispered.
He looked back to you, expression disappearing as he looked you up and down before grabbing your wrist and led you out of the room, past the kitchen and sitting room and into the main room where it was still packed with dancing and mingling people. You thought he would take you out the front door and home, but instead he drags you passed everyone and into a hallway. He kept his hold on your wrist as he lightly drags you down the hall. You wondered where he was taking you, but your questions were answered when he opened a door, pulling you in with him to the bathroom.
You turned to look at him, shocked as he let your wrist go and closed the door… locking it.
The butterflies in your stomach erupted, heart racing as you watched him turn to look at you. You were hoping your flushed cheeks weren’t noticeable. Maybe your cheeks are already red from the alcohol.
“At parties, you might find someone you find attractive, and you might end up in a situation like this.” He took a step towards you. “At first you might make out, and that could lead to sex. Our first lesson will be on quickies,” he says in such a monotonous tone.
“W-what?” you babbled, taking a few steps back until you hit the wall.
“We’re not actually going to have sex. All I’m going to do is demonstrate,” he tells you, taking a few steps forward.
“Demonstrate? How–what do you do to demonstrate… sex?” you quavered, keeping your eyes on his chin rather than looking him in the eyes. You didn’t want him to see the mixed look of fear and excitement in your eyes. You’re more open to wanting him to touch you now than you were when you first met him. Or it’s the alcohol letting out your inner feelings.
“Before I start,” he began, crossing his arms over his chest, “do you want to do this? When we agreed to do this, I told you that I would teach you everything. Clearly sex wasn’t in your mind when I told you.” He stared at you intently. “How sober are you?”
“Sober enough to remember that conversation,” you sassed.
“Clearly,” he articulated. “So when you’re alone with a guy like this, he will usually start by touching your cheeks, arms and hands.” Yoongi cupped your cheeks, your breath hitching as you felt his cool palms against your warm skin. “Whenever you’re uncomfortable tell me and I’ll stop.” You only nod in response, all emotions melting from his touch leaving you with only one. “He would kiss your lips”–his thumb brushing along your lips–“then maybe move down to your neck.”
You felt his hand that was touching your lips move down to your neck. A shiver ran through you as you watched him in silence continue to demonstrate what could be happening in this room right now. He spoke, but you couldn’t hear him. You were so lost in your thoughts that you were fighting your own urges. All you have to do is lean forward and press your lips against his. Feel his lips move around yours for a bit, tongue gliding across your lips every so often before it finally explored your own mouth and danced with your tongue. HIs hands would travel down, under your top, cupping you outside your bra before snaking his way under them to feel you. You’d arch your back to feel more of his hands work its magic. Your body felt weird as you let your imagination run wild. You felt hot, and it wasn’t like the warmth you felt earlier when you began drinking. This is different.
“This will eventually lead to something more. Sometimes they’ll pin your hands to prevent you from touching.” You didn’t know when his hands were on your hips, but he removed them and grabbed your wrists, pinning them above your head. You felt something force itself between your legs, brushing along your region. A moan escaped your lips, your body jumping from how sensitive it was.
You froze in realization. You just moaned. Not only did you moan, but you just realized what that one feeling you had since he started his demonstration. You’re horny. What are you supposed to do? You can’t play it off as a surprised sound, he’s heard it before every time he scared you. You can’t blame it on someone outside the room, you can only hear the music. So what are you going to do? You nervously look to Yoongi who was just staring at you. Yup. He totally heard you.
He said nothing. He didn’t say anything to you as he brought your hands together, holding them still with one of his hands as the other grabbed your skirt. He lifted it. You could feel your skirt brush along your skin, going higher and higher until it reached your thighs. The cold air from the air-conditioning hit your legs as you felt his thigh touch your warmth. You stayed still as he let your skirt go, his leg disappearing underneath. He then grabbed your waist tightly. You didn’t know what he was going to do, but as he pulled you forward along his thigh, you inhaled sharply, feeling pleasure course through you.
He pushed you back then forth on his thigh, the friction become rougher as your panties became wetter and the fabric of his jeans becoming your source of continuing to feel this pleasure. Your breathing becoming heavier, eyes closing as you picked up your pace. You looked down to see if you could view your movements, to see yourself brushing along his thigh, but it was blocked by your skirt. All you could see was the movements of your hips. Placing a finger under your chin, Yoongi brought your head back up to look at him. You felt his finger travel down and to the middle of your neck before he wrapped his hand around your neck, squeezing ever so lightly.
You whimpered, feeling yourself build up. You didn’t have a rhythm anymore as you rode his thigh in an unnatural pattern. All to feel his thigh against your core; to feel him build you up and break you down as you reached your high. And that’s what happened. You let out a choked moan as you felt the pressure release itself, your legs shaking, breathing stopped as your high disappeared.
Min Yoongi gave you your first orgasm.
Chapter 10: 09
“You did what?” Ari yells, everyone’s eyes in the dining room on you two.
“Will you keep it down,” you whisper in a harsh tone.
“You, my best friend and the most introverted person to exist, got drunk and”–you could see the excitement and pride in her eyes–“fucking rode Yoongi’s thigh, and he choked you!” She squealed, “You have a kink!”
“It wasn’t like that,” you try to explain, but you really have no excuse and Ari wasn’t buying it.
“I can’t wait for all the other things he’s going to "demonstrate”. You better tell me everything,“ she chuckles, clapping her hands lightly in excitement. You regret telling her what happened yesterday, but you had to tell someone. Plus, she’s your best friend, and as a best friend, you’re obligated to tell her everything just as she tells you everything. Even if that means not wanting to hear the details she spills out when it comes to having sex with Hoseok. That’s where you draw the line, but there is no line for her.
"He must have had something to drink, too. I doubt he would do anything like that again,” you added, stabbing your pancake with your fork as you take a bite.
“I don’t know, Y/N. You’re cute, and I bet you looked irresistible when you wore my top with your skirt. I bet when he pinned your arms above you, he wanted to see what you had underneath,” she teases, winking at you as she takes a bite of her own food.
“Good morning, neighbors.” Hoseok appears at your table, holding two plates of food as he takes a seat next to Ari. “How is your morning so far?” he asks, placing a quick kiss on Ari’s temple.
“Great,” Ari begins, turning to look at him with puckered lips as he chuckles and gives her a quick kiss, “Y/N was telling me about yesterday.”
You glare at her as Hoseok turns to look at you. “Oh, really? How did it go? Yoongi won’t tell me anything,” Hoseok exclaims.
Before you could open your mouth to dismiss the conversation, Ari butted in, “She got drunk.”
Hoseok gasps, “Really? I didn’t know you drank, Y/N.”
“She doesn’t, but she made friends and ended up playing beer pong with them. Apparently she’s on the Wall of Fame at a sorority on 7th.
Hoseok nods for a moment, looking as if he’s trying to figure out which sorority it was. You clearly didn’t know, and after a few more nods his eyes lit up realization. “Oh that sorority! Wow you made it on their wall?”
“It was a tie and I was drunk so I didn’t make that many shots compared to Hanbin,” you elucidate, picking up a piece of your bacon and placing it in your mouth. You were beyond hoping that Ari would just keep it at that and not say anything else about your experience at the party. You glanced at her, watching her smile at Hoseok in a loving way it hurt just a bit. You weren’t going to lie that you were happy for her, but you wished you had that.
Ari is the complete opposite of you. She’s sociable, funny, smart, she sticks up for herself, and she’s just beautiful. She’s everything you sometimes wished you could be. However, when you think of all the partying she does, all the friends she has, it’s like a huge stack of chores to keep up with. You get invited to a party, they’re expecting you to come, and that leads to socializing with everyone you know and don’t know. It seems like it would be stressful to just even remember whose name belongs to which face. You give props to Ari for being as upbeat as she is all the time.
“Hanbin?” Hoseok asked, seeming to be lost in thought at the name. “Where have I heard that name before?”
“Well you do have a classmate named Hanbin in your modern dance class,” Ari tells him, patting his back to possibly bring him back from his thoughts.
Hoseok sighs, “It could be, but I think he said he’s not a fan of parties.” He shrugs. “Maybe he changed his mind.” Grabbing his fork, he began to dig in to his high stacked breakfast. “So what are your plans for tonight?”
“Uh, probably work on my project and watch a movie,” you answer him, watching with bit of amazement and disgust as he stuffs his mouth. Ari didn’t seem to notice as she took a bite out of her own food. Hoseok must have been starving with the way he’s eating today. Usually he eats in a more polite manner, but not today it seems, and with Ari glancing at him with a small smirk gracing her lips, you didn’t want to know why Hoseok looked as if he hasn’t eaten in days. “What about you guys?”
“There’s a movie we’ve been wanting to see so we decided to do a dinner and a movie,” she struggles, swallowing the food in her mouth. “You wanna come rather than be antisocial in the room?”
You’d think that you would be offended by your roommates comment, but you weren’t as you took a drink from your cup. Ari’s comment was true. You plan on staying here, work a bit on your project, order some Chinese and watch movies before grabbing an ice cream from the mini fridge. No intention of talking to anyone for tonight. If Ari spends all day tomorrow with Hoseok, you’d do the same thing you plan on doing tonight. It’s not that you didn’t mind spending a day with Hoseok and Ari, but third wheeling is just weird. You didn’t want to sit there and possibly watch these two make out for half an hour. So, before you could give her the big “no thank you” your phone chimes, indicating you have a message. Pulling out your phone, and unlocking it, you read the text.
[11:37am] Jerk: Meet me at the back parking lot in an hour
You choked on our orange juice. “Are you okay?” Ari asks, staring at you with a look of concern and confusion. You hand her your phone, coughing as you wipe the juice from your face. “He wants to meet you again? He just saw you yesterday. What else is he gonna teach you? How to suck”–you glared at her, hoping she’d catch herself and not mention anything related to what she’s about to say–“at pick up lines?” she faltered, voice sounding tight as she glances at you and Hoseok.
Hoseok frowns. “I don’t think Yoongi does pick up lines,” he objected, but he seems like he doesn’t know himself as he slightly cocks his head in thought. You don’t know whether to be shocked or disappointed by how oblivious he is. Shaking his head, he looks to you and says, “You should go and get ready.”
You nod, quickly shoving as much food in your mouth as you could before grabbing your belongings. You gesture to your plate, watching Ari as she nods. “I’ll take your plate,” she groans, as you give her the thumbs up and hastily walked out the dining hall.
Everything was a blur as you threw yourself into the shower, getting soap in your eyes before you were throwing on clothes. Glancing at the clock on your desk, you discovered you had ten minutes to do something to your hair and face, so you did what you could with your makeup and tried your best with your hair, but since it’s still wet, you couldn’t do much. Slipping on your shoes, you took a look at yourself in the mirror. You wore a gray hoodie, blue jeans, and black high tops. It’s the best you can do in such short notice. Grabbing your phone, wallet and keys, you shove them in your bag and head out.
You walked the familiar route you went yesterday, making your way down the halls. Compared to last night, the halls are dead quiet. Everyone must still be asleep. Exiting hall and entering the crisp morning air, you walk down the steps in short, quick strides, trying your best not to trip and fall. As you reached ground level, you make your way to the back parking lot where Yoongi had parked his car last night after the party. That entire drive was dead silent; the two of you saying nothing. It wasn’t until you reached your dorm he gives you a simple “goodnight” before he enters his room leaving you alone in the hall.
Now you’re about to see him again, and your mind just so happens to betray you by flashing memories of last night in your mind. You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks, heart pick up speed, and the flutter in your stomach become more noticeable. You’re going to look ridiculously flustered when you see him, but you couldn’t do anything about it as his car comes into view. All you can do now is hope he doesn’t notice. Maybe he’s as oblivious as Hoseok.
Walking up to him, he was leaning against his car and looking at his phone, he wore ripped, blue jeans and a plain white shirt that seemed a bit bigger than him. Now that you’re out in the sun, light shining ever so brightly, you could see some of his tattoos more clearly. With the sleeve stopping at his elbow, you could only see the lower half of his arm covered in ink. You wanted to see what he had, but he looked up and said, “Ready to go?”
You blinked a few times, registering his words. “Where are we going?”
Pushing himself off his car, he replies, “Being in a relationship means there are times where you’ll have to participate or see your partner’s hobbies. I have work, so you’re coming with me.”
“For a tattoo?” you asked dumbly, clearly knowing that that is the obvious answer.
Yoongi only nods, gesturing to the car with a second nod of his head. “Let’s go,” he directs, turning his back to you and gets into his car. He’s not very gentlemanly, but you get into the passenger’s seat without any complaints. The car ride was quiet. It wasn’t one of those comfortable silence but more of a nerve wrecking silence. One where you don’t know what to say or do. He didn’t even bother putting on the radio to drown out the deafening silence. You kept your attention outside the window, watching the cars, people and buildings pass by. To your luck–to the begging of this car ride to be over, Yoongi pulls into a parking lot.
He finds a spot facing the buildings. Getting out of the car you glance at the shops in front of you. A Chinese restaurant, a salon, a boutique and finally a tattoo parlor. House of Cards was written in chicken scratch above the door. There were no window decals, nothing on the doors–it was not what you were expecting. Then again you don’t know what a tattoo shop is supposed to look like, so maybe it’s supposed to be simple outside.
Locking his car, Yoongi walks around it and towards the shop’s door. You could hear him fiddle with his keys before a small click sound was heard and he pushed the door open. You quickly walked up to him before he turned back at you to see that you were still by the car. Entering the building, you were hit with a fragrance you couldn’t quite tell what it was. It smelled familiar but you couldn’t quite put your finger to it. The inside of the shop, however, surprisingly looked exactly like you’d expect. The walls were gray, clean wooden floor, and a lot of paintings on the walls. A counter across the room with a computer and a stack of books were on it; to your left and right were stationaries where chairs that the customer sat on, chairs for the artist, and carts stood.
Yoongi flicked on the lights, the room illuminating in light, and walked over to the counter and started up the computer. You stood there in silence as you watched him basically open up the shop for the day. Running the computer, checking in for work, printing something out, and so many other things you don’t understand. “Go and sit in that chair over there,” he commands, not even looking as he points to your left. You look over to see the rows of chairs, unsure as to which chair to sit in. “The chair at the very end,” he adds.
You can only nod as you did what you were told. Reaching the end of the aisle, you took a seat in the corner of the room, watching Yoongi from afar as he pulled out his phone and typed away at his keys. You set your bag on your lap, becoming aware as to how heavy it really is. When you opened it, you noticed your camera sitting at the bottom barely covered by your wallet, keys and phone. You must have forgotten to take it out when you took it with you to the animal shelter. To your luck, as you turned it on, the camera was almost at full charge.
The sound of a bell ringing caught your attention. Looking up you see the door closing as a man enters the building, smiling politely at Yoongi. You didn’t even hear the bell when Yoongi opened it, but then again you were maybe far enough to not hear it. The man walked up to the counter where Yoongi stood, holding out his hand as he introduced himself. “I’m Chris, you must be Yoongi.”
Yoongi shakes Chris’s hand. “Nice to meet you, man.” Letting go of Chris’s hand, Yoongi pulled out a sheet of paper from a folder he pulled out from the counter he stood behind. “I drew this up last night and this morning. Just let me know if you like it, want things changed, and once that’s done we’ll get started.”
Chris took the paper, looking at it carefully before his face lit up in joy and wow. “This looks amazing. It’s perfect.” He hands the paper back to Yoongi.
Yoongi nods. “Great. Just go ahead and sit over there where my friend is sitting while I get this ready to go.”
Chris looks over to your area, muttering something to Yoongi that you couldn’t hear before he walked towards you. He smiles as he reaches the end of the aisle. “Hello,” he tells you, unsure as to where he should be standing or sitting. He looks down at your camera on your lap and asks, “Are you here to take pictures?”
You glance down at your camera. You didn’t want to tell him that you’re just here to awkwardly watch him get his tattoo, so you lie, “Yeah. I hope you don’t mind, but I’ll mainly be taking pictures of the artist for his album and for him to post on the website.“ You know all artists have photo albums for the customers to use, but do they have a website? They should. It’s the 21st century and social media is everywhere and used consistently. "I hope you don’t mind that I’m here,” you say, tone apologetic.
He shakes his head. “Nah it’s cool. If anything, can I have a photo to post on my Insta?”
You couldn’t help but eagerly nod. You’ve never had someone want a photo you took before; it made you feel like you’re a professional photographer. “Of course. I’ll show you some of the pictures I took once you’re done getting your tattoo.”
“Great!” Chris says enthusiastically, a huge smile growing on his face. You couldn’t stop the one spreading on yours as the artist himself came up to the two of you. You and Chris watch him as he pulls out the rubbing alcohol, a few towels, and a razor.
“Go ahead and take a seat on the bed,” Yoongi says in a direct tone as he continued to get everything ready for today’s session. Ah, so that’s what it’s called. Turning to look at it as Chris gets on the black furniture, you could see how it’s a bed, but it also looks like a chair. Maybe it could be called either or; maybe you’re overthinking this. Walking over to Chris, Yoongi takes a seat in his rolling chair, tapping the customer’s leg for him to lie on his side so that he could probably shave his leg. You were correct as you watched Yoongi put cream on Chris’s leg and begin to shave.
Once he was done shaving the area where the tattoo would be, you watched in awe as Yoongi cleaned the area with rubbing alcohol and finally put the outline of the tattoo on the shaved part of the leg. Yoongi smoothed it down, grabbing a corner of the paper with his gloved hand and slowly pulled it back, revealing the outline of a hooded figure holding a scythe. At least that’s what you’re guessing since it’s hard to tell what is holding the scythe, but since usually the Grim Reaper holding the scythe, that’s your assumption.
Yoongi got to work, a low buzzing filling the silence as he brought the machine to Chris’s skin, beginning the process. You subtly adjust your camera, watching Yoongi so that he didn’t catch you snapping a photo of him and his customer. However, as you get more into finding good angles and getting the details he was focusing on, Yoongi was staring at you as you zoomed out. Chris was talking about something as Yoongi wiped some of the ink away with a paper towel. You almost blurted an apology, but remembered that you had to play it off that you’re supposed to be doing this. Still, you could feel it at the tip of your tongue. To your luck Yoongi didn’t seem to care as he turns his attention back to his work. Taking that to your advantage you continue your work.
As you zoomed in again, your engrossment went from the art on Chris’s leg to the art on Yoongi’s arm. From around the elbow you could see a basketball, but it looks flat and falling apart as pieces of the basketball fell and turned into music notes. There was an old microphone, the cord wrapping around his arm and creating words you can’t read. Closer to his wrist was a piece that looked like his skin was ripped, revealing piano keys underneath. You figured the lower half of his arm was about his passion for music, but you wondered what the deteriorating basketball meant. You wanted to see his entire arm; what his shirt covered and what you couldn’t see from where you were sitting.
You’re never going to have that opportunity to see his arm though. He’ll never let you see. So, you continue to take pictures of the two of them thoughts still wandering to the sleeved arm.
Hours went by and your legs were begging to be stretched and to walk around. The tattoo was more detailed as time went by and you’re amazed as to how life like it looks. The Grim Reaper had its head down, the hood covering its face only revealing an open mouth with smoke coming out. It stood there looking tall and ready to strike with the scythe pointing down and towards you if you stood in front of it. It was amazing how art could be captured in so many ways.
By the time Yoongi was done, giving a final wipe at the ink, Chris was eager to see the finale. Yoongi pointed to a mirror at the front of the building standing next to the counter. You watched as Chris almost skipped to the mirror as Yoongi began to pack up.
“This is great!” Chris gushed, looking at his tattoo with such an excited look on his face. He turns back to the two of you. “Can you take a picture of it for me?” he asks, looking to only you. You fumbled with your words, none of it makes any sense as you quickly walk over to him, getting to one knee and take a few shots of his new piece. He fishes in his pocket, pulling out a few bills and placed two in your hands, never giving you a chance to say anything. He looks behind you at Yoongi and questions, “How much do I owe you?"
You were trying to figure out what to say in order to give the money back, but Chris’s demeanor was one that said he won’t be taking that money back. So you hesitantly put it in your pocket as Chris pays Yoongi before he smiles, waves and leaves the two of you alone in the shop. Yoongi makes his way over to his station, cleaning up and putting things away. You awkwardly stood in place and watched, unsure as to what you should do.
“So if you didn’t have your camera, what would you normally be doing?” he suddenly inquires, putting things in an open drawer.
You thought for a second before answering, “Watch you work?” It was more of a question rather than an answer because you didn’t know what you would be doing.
“So you’d still sit in silence,” he foretold.
“It takes me a while to be chatty with someone,” you defend, tone obviously offended by his statement. “It’s not like you were talking up a storm.”
“When I find someone worth talking to, I’ll make conversation, but I was more focused on getting the tattoo done right rather than listen to what’s-his-name talk about his favorite show for three hours straight.” Yoongi places the final object in a drawer, closing it and finally looking at you. “Friday is when the dorms is having a big party downstairs. That day you’re going to come to my room so I can teach you about body parts–more specifically the male penis and how to give a decent handjob.”
You almost dropped your camera.
Chapter 11: 10
Warning: this chapter contains smut
Also Happy New Year and thank you for being with me during this year. Here's to a better year :)
You felt like you were going to hyperventilate as you paced back and forth in your once again empty room. Ari wasn’t here to calm you down, but she would only make fun of you or scare you even more rather than actually calm your racing heart and rapid breathing down. You wish you had told her what was going to happen today, but it didn’t seem like a good idea. Ari always had a big mouth, so she might actually spill what happens between you and Yoongi to Hoseok who only thinks Yoongi is teaching you simple things to getting a date.
Now you’re going to go on a date and after that he’s taking you back to his room and teach you how to give…
You could only swallow at the thought of seeing what was under his clothing articles. You almost let the thought of him unbuttoning his pants invade your imagination, but you shake your head and check the time on your phone for the umpteenth time. With a few minutes left before meeting in front of Yoongi’s car, you grab your bag, keys and phone, shoving your keys and phone into the bag where you wallet lay. You could never stop your racing heart as you went your usual route to meet with Yoongi at the back parking lot. To you it feels like it’s a real date, but it’s not and you know it. You know that deep down inside Yoongi has no feelings towards you and is only doing this for Hoseok.
You just sadly can’t stop yourself from hoping.
Reaching the last step to the outdoor stairwell, the door to the first floor hall opened to reveal Yoongi. The two of you met eyes, no words said for a few seconds before he broke the silence, “Ready?”
You nodded, clearly not ready for whatever is about to come. He walked past you and to his car. You followed in suit, looking him up and down at his outfit. You couldn’t deny that he looked really good in his outfit today. A gray sweatshirt that rolled up to his elbow, a pair of jeans with a rip at the knee, and black combat boots. Simple yet very attractive.
You sighed knowing today is going to be a long day.
A short drive later, Yoongi pulled into a parking lot, parking in front of the restaurant. He turned off the engine and got out of the car. You quickly fixed your shirt and hair before getting out as he waited for you at the front of his vehicle. With the sound of the car being locked, you followed him up to the wooden double doors. He opened the door, moving to the side for you to enter first. That was new; you never expected him to do something so… gentlemanly. Maybe because this is supposed to be a date and he’s treating you how people normally would on a first date. You’re not sure, but you’re going to keep quiet and enjoy the change in his personality for today.
Talking to the host for a brief moment, Yoongi signals you with a nod of his head to follow as the host guides you through the rooms filled with chatting people and soft music. Further in the back of the restaurant, he stands next to an empty booth, smiling politely as you two take your seats. He places the menu, jotting in his small notepad the drinks you ordered. You should be used to Yoongi now; used to his presence and how he acts, but you’re apparently not. You don’t know what to do or say.
How’s the tattoo business going? I mean, I know I saw you about a week ago working on that Grim Reaper piece, but I’m asking again because I have no idea what to say. What about your music? Is that working out okay? Are the beats… good?
You wanted to smack your forehead for the stupidity that just came to thought.
“Are you always going to be nervous when you go on dates?” he observed in a blase tone.
You were caught off guard by his sudden comment seeing as he wasn’t even paying attention to you with his eyes on the menu in front of him. “What?” you babbled, grabbing the menu and opening it like you were looking at it the whole time.
Yoongi glances at you. “You were rubbing your hands together, which means you’re nervous. You do this every time we’re together. Are you always going to be nervous even after you find yourself a boyfriend?”
When did he become so aware of the things you do?
“Sorry,” you tell him, shifting in your seat. “I’m not used to… all of this–clearly.”
He puts his menu down, eyes boring into your own. “Yes. It’s clearly evident that you’re not used to “all of this”, but we started this whole thing a while ago. I’ve been with you for a while, yet you’re still nervous as hell.” Yoongi leans forward, resting his arms on the table. “What are you going to be like during sex?”
You could feel the heat rise in your cheeks. “You, nor I don’t know what I’ll be like when that time comes,” you tell him in a defensive voice.
He only shakes his head. “I know exactly what you’ll be like when the time comes, Y/N. He’ll be ready and you’ll be rubbing your hands together, eyes avoiding, and voice so shaky he won’t even bother taking off his clothes.”
You tried your best to hide the offended look that was clearly evident on your face. You could hear it in you tone as you replied, “You think you know me so well?”
“After spending time with you, yeah you’re pretty easy to read.”
You huffed, “Fine. You want me to stop being nervous, then I will. What date is this–first, second?” Before he could answer, you added, “Well since we’re going back to your place it doesn’t really matter how many dates we’ve been on.” You get up from your seat, walking to his side and plop yourself at the edge, pushing him further into the booth. “Might as well get comfortable,” you say, practically staring daggers into him.
He only stared at you for a moment before leaning back in his seat. “Fine,” he replies, draping one arm around your shoulder and bringing you closer to him. “Let’s see how long you last before you’re back to your old ways.”
“Fine,” you spat.
You’re not losing to him. You’re not going to give in and give him the satisfaction of knowing that you’re dying on the inside because everything he does is new to you. You’ve never gotten close to a man like you have with Yoongi, but he doesn’t seem to care, and there is no way you’re letting him run this whole thing.
For the rest of the date no words were really spoken between the two of you. You both were caught up in your hatred for one another that the whole date wasn’t really a date. When the waiter came by asking if you were splitting the check, Yoongi said “no” before you could even reply. The check was set down and Yoongi placed his card on top before the check disappeared along with the waiter. Once again the two of you sat in heated silence until the man returned and gave Yoongi his card back.
“Have a great night,” the waiter says, a pleasant smile on his face.
You put on your best smile, wishing the man the same thing before turning forward and grabbing Yoongi’s hand. He looks down at your hands then looks up to you. You weren’t looking at him, and he said nothing as he closed his hand around yours. Right now, if you weren’t so agitated, you would be trying to steady your heart. Your breathing, too.
Arriving to the dorms, you immediately get out of the vehicle when Yoongi parked it in his usual spot. You didn’t give him much of an opportunity to say anything as you stomped your way to the stairs. You could see the huge group of party goers from the window as you made your way up.
Happy, carefree people enjoying the party and mingling and hooking up like nothing. Those happy bastards.
You were already down the hall and turning left into the stairwell to cross and get to your hall when you hear the door open from behind you. You didn’t look back to know it was Yoongi who had just entered the building. When you passed the stairwell, you could hear laughter coming from the main floor. Seems like the MPR is full and people are now filling the lobby and halls.
You’re walking down your hall and it’s quieter than ever. It’s a bit strange since there’s some people who don’t socialize like you, yet they’re not making a sound in their own room. Pulling out your key, you put it in the hole.
“Where are you going?” Yoongi called, halfway down the hall. He’s a fast walker.
“I’m going to change,” you jeered, twisting the key and pushing open the door. “I’ll see you in a minute,” you tell him before entering your room and letting the door close behind you. After a few seconds, you could hear the sound of his door opening and closing. “That stupid, full of himself, know-it-all jerk,” you grumbled, tossing your bag on your bed as you began to remove your clothes and shoes. “He doesn’t know me. I’m not easy to read.” Opening the dresser drawer that was under your bed, you pull out a peach colored shirt and gray plaid pajama pants. “He doesn’t know me,” you grumble, putting on your pants and shirt. Grabbing your keys and phone, you slip your feet into your slippers and leave your room, taking a few steps to your left and knocked on Yoongi’s door.
The door opens with him in different clothes; black sweats and dark blue shirt. He moves out of the way for you to enter, closing the door behind you. “Ready for this, sweetheart?” Yoongi asks in a mocking tone, walking past you and to his desk where he moves things around. “Suddenly you’re fully aware as to what is about to happen. Your heart begins to race, palms become sweaty, and breathing uneven. He looks to you and you put on your best “fight me” look you could give. You’re pretty sure it doesn’t look how you hoped. “On the bed,” he commands, bobbing his head once to his bed next to you before he turns back to his desk.
You shuffle to his bed, eyes scanning the floor for a step stool. You stood next to his bed in slight shock. He doesn’t have a step stool? These beds aren’t to the height of your thigh or something, they were slightly above your waist, to the curve of your body. How did you get into his bed last time? Wasn’t there a step stool or something you stood on to get on there? Your mind was running at the past memory, but you couldn’t remember.
You let out a quiet sigh. You could do a run and jump, but you’d look stupid doing that and if you didn’t make it. You’ll just have to do a stupid jump and pray. You put your hands on his mattress, bending your knees slightly before doing the biggest jump you could. There was no looking cool while getting on his bed–more like your upper half made it and you were already slipping. You swung your leg on the bed, pushing yourself up as hard as you can, but you weren’t that strong and you didn’t have that run and jump like you wanted.
You were about to give up but you felt a pair of hands on the back of your thigh and your waist, pushing you up on the bed. When you were finally got yourself situated, you could feel your cheeks rising with heat as you let your slipper fall with the one that had fallen earlier. Pushing yourself further back on the bed, Yoongi jumps onto his bed with ease. He sits facing you, watching you as you turn to face him and cross your legs.
He holds a banana up to you. “This is what you’ll be practicing on,” he says.
You felt as if your soul had left your body. Not only did you forget the whole reason as to why you’re here, but you felt relieved to be practicing on a fruit rather than the real thing. “Okay,” you answer. You take the banana holding it closer to the end. “W-what am I supposed to do?” you ask, a slight stuttering in your voice.
“Put your other hand at the base,” he instructs. You did as told, wrapping your hand around the middle of the banana. “Giving a hand job dry is not the way to go. Always find ways to get it wet so that it’s easier for both you and your partner.”
“Get it wet?”
“Your spit or lube,” he tells you in such a nonchalant way you almost choked on your own spit.
“Am I,” you began, swallowing, “do I have to spit on this?”
Yoongi shakes his head. “I can give you lube if you want to know what it feels like.” You slowly nod your head, watching him as he turns his upper half to look behind him where is desk was. A few shuffling around and he turns back to you holding a small black bottle. Holding it out towards the yellow fruit, he gives two squirts. The clear liquid was cold to the touch as it slid down to your hands. “From where your bottom hand is, that’s the end of the penis, using your other hand, spread the lube. Move your hand up and down.”
You released the base of the banana only to close your hand around it where the liquid covered it. You moved up then down on the object, covering it in the cool goo. “Not that fast. When you first start off, build up the orgasm. Go slow and get him in the mood,” he informs you, placing his hand around yours and slowly moving your hand up and down. “Some men like it when you twist your hand.” He twists your grip around the item as you continue your movement.
“How do I know if they like it?” you couldn’t help but ask. This banana can’t talk, so he’s not sure if you’re doing anything right.
“The guy will moan, his breathing becomes heavy, he whispers in your ears, he’ll even tell you how he wants it,” he acknowledged, removing his hand from yours.
You look up to meet his eyes. “I don’t know if I’m doing this right, and when I do have a moment like this, I don’t know if he’ll stay long if I’m practicing on a banana,” you confess. Maybe it’s best not to do this. You’ll just have to go into this kind of moment blind.
“Would you rather practice on me?” he proposes, looking at you with such a straight face.
You freeze, your hand stopping at the top of the banana. “What?” you babble, tone confused.
He crosses his arms over his chest. “If you want to learn how to give a decent hand job on your first try, I’m offering myself. I wasn’t going to, but since you’re not nervous or anything.” You could hear his mocking tone. “I’m not forcing you. You can do this on your own when you have sex,” he adds.
“I can’t–how am I supposed to? Is this even part of the contract? Do you even want–I’m scared.” You couldn’t keep this tough girl act up anymore. You were scared. Not scared of being forced; not scared of doing it wrong. You were scared of doing this with him. You have feelings for Yoongi, and if you were to do this, who knows how this will end. You know your feelings will grow even more, but there was also something else telling you that doing this was a bad idea.
Yet you wanted to say yes. You wanted to know what it felt like to be one of those girls that pleased him. You wanted to know what it was like to tip Min Yoongi over the edge.
You hated yourself for thinking that.
“I know I’m a dick,” he began, grabbing the banana from your grip, “but I’m not going to force you, belittle you for not doing it, or tell everyone in this hall that you did if you want to. Whatever you decide, it stays in this room and never leaves.”
“Can you put on some music?” He nods, turning his back to you once again, a few dings ringing in the room as he grabs his phone next to him, looking through it for a second before a soft beat plays from a speaker on his desk. He looks to you, waiting. “How do you get into the mood?”
“Would you like to go first?” he inquires.
“I’ll get you into the mood first before you practice.”
You were quiet for a moment, the beat getting a bit louder and faster. “Okay,” you say in a low voice.
He nods, getting on his knees. He taps on the bed in front of him a few times. “Come closer.” You hesitantly scoot closer to him, your knees almost touching his. “Close your eyes.” When you didn’t close them, he says, “Trust me. If you don’t like it, just tell me and I’ll stop.”
You close your eyes, your briskly beating heart filling your ears. Suddenly, you felt his hands on your cheeks, soft and smooth. You kept still as you felt his thumbs brush along your lips, sending a chill down your body. He runs a finger down your neck. Then his hands were on your shoulders, pushing you down on your back. You did as instructed, feeling him place himself between your legs.
“I’m going to touch you, okay?” he says, waiting for your response.
You took in a deep, shaky breath as you said, “Okay.”
You felt his hands again, touching your waist. His fingers went under your shirt, touching your skin. You shivered, feeling his hand slide further up until he was close to your bra, but not close enough. His hands come back down to your waist.
“Do you want me to continue?” You nod in response, eyes still close. He grabs the band of your pants and begins to pull them down. You begin to shake a bit. “Are you sure?”
“I’m just nervous,” you tell him. You’re a little excited and curious as to what he’s going to do. “You’re not going to…” you trail off.
“I’m not going to have sex with you if that’s what you’re asking,” he notifies, lowering your pants even further and finally removes them.
You couldn’t help but close your legs. Yoongi said nothing as his hands brushed along your thighs. As if his hands have a magic touch to them, you could feel your legs opening for him, letting his hands roam in between your thighs. You let out a shaky sigh. Oh so suddenly you feel his finger run down your clothed womanhood and your body couldn’t help but jerk. Feeling a shift in the bed, his hands grab your under your thighs close to your behind.
“Move down more,” he guides, pulling you closer to him. You move down feeling the edge of the bed with your feet. “Lift up a bit.” He taps your leg. When your lower half was up, you could feel your underwear being removed.
He said he wasn’t going to have sex with you. He said he wasn’t, you say in your head, refusing to open your eyes to see what it is that he’s doing.
It was sudden and strange, but you felt something wet and warm run along your walls. It happened again, the strange object touching your bud and causing you to inhale. You couldn’t help but open your eyes. Looking to the closet mirror on the other side of the room, you could see Yoongi standing at the end of the bed, his head in between your thighs.
You watched in complete shock. You couldn’t see what he was doing with your thigh blocking his head, and his hands wrapped around them, keeping you from moving. Ari would tell you stories, and after hearing so many, you knew what was happening.
“Having someone eat you out is amazing,” Ari once told you.
Is this what it feels like? It’s strange. There’s no pleasure; your thighs aren’t closing shut from the delight. You felt weird having something move up and down between your legs.
You let out a sudden moan when he was no longer licking, but sucking. He wasn’t hard or soft as he absorb your bead, he knew exactly what he was doing. He ran his tongue along your jewel, making his way down between your walls once again and it was like a whole new feeling. It wasn’t strange anymore, it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was a sensation that was ten times better than when you had your moment in the bathroom. He swirled his tongue, bit at your lips, and brought his thumb to your bean moving it up and down.
You arch your back, trying your best to let out small, quiet moans, but it felt so good you couldn’t keep still. You clutched the sheets, covered your mouth and eyes as you felt that familiar high. Your moans were a bit louder as your legs were forced to stay open when all they wanted to do was shut close.
“Yoongi,” you moan, feeling the high reach its peak before bursting. He didn’t stop as he continued his swirls, helping you ride out your second orgasm. You collapse onto his bed, watching him from the mirror as he grabs the towel off his chair and wipe his face before wiping your now sensitive area.
He looks to the mirror as well, meeting your eyes. “Do you want to continue or are you done?” His expression was blank and you wondered if he wanted to continue. Maybe he just wanted you to leave. You would feel bad if you left. The whole point of this is to learn how to make a guy feel good, and you’re the only one who enjoyed it.
“I want to learn if that’s okay with you,” you answer, sitting up on the bed.
Yoongi climbs onto the bed, crawling past you until he was sitting against the wall at the head of the bed. You turn around to face him. “You’ll be doing everything,” he says, looking down at his pants then back at you. Taking the hint you get between his legs and slowly reach for his sweats. He lifts himself enough for you to pull down both his pants and boxers. Your eyes widened at his member. It looked big to you, but you don’t know how big a penis usually is, yet that wasn’t the only thing that shocked you. It was hard. He got horny from what he did to you.
You felt a little proud to be able to do that. Then again, maybe it’s natural for a guy to feel that way when pleasing a woman.
“Grab the lube next to you and squirt two pumps like I showed you,” he advises. Grabbing the bottle you bring it close to him doing two pumps and watch it fall and slide down his length. You put the bottle down and reach for it, wrapping your hand around it. It was warm and hard. Remembering what Yoongi taught you earlier, you slowly moved your hand up and down his shaft. You continued to pump when you suddenly heard quiet pants coming from Yoongi. You looked up at him watching as his chest rise and fall, sweat forming on his forehead. “Move your wrists.” You twisted your wrists like he showed. “That’s it,” he rasps, nodding his head. “Go a bit faster.” He groaned when you did so.
Is this what other girls see when they’re with him? Do they see a vulnerable man let himself not be in control as they please him? Do they get to hear his heavy breathing and deep voice when he tells you what to do? You felt your lower region tingle as you watched Yoongi lean his head back, eyes shut tight.
Something took over you. Something new.
Without even thinking you release his girth and get on top of him. Ari’s story running through your head as you press your lips against his member. You moved your body forward and back, feeling his shaft along your inner walls.
“Fuck,” he says under his breath, grabbing your hips and pushing you to move even faster against him. You could already feel your build up as you moved even faster, hands pressed against the wall behind him. You let yourself enjoy the feeling of being on top of him as you continued to ride him, feeling as high as you can as white dots began to take over your vision. Your body jerked as you rode out your high. Yoongi continued to pull you back and forth before he reaches his own nirvana.
The two of you stayed like that for a few moments. Coming off your ecstasy and coming to realize what you did. You felt embarrassed as you tried to think of what to say. He didn’t say anything as he kept his eyes closed. “I need to use your restroom,” you say, breaking the silence as you got off him and the bed, grabbing your underwear and pants before quickly walking into the bathroom.
Everything is ruined. You ruined everything by agreeing to do this. He’ll look at you like you’re another girl he sleeps with. You’ll never find someone to fall in love with–
The sound of the room door opened. “What are you doing here?” Yoongi asked, muffled. You never heard the door being knocked on. You quickly slip on your clothes and press your ear against the door.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you when I saw you at the party,” a female voice says.
“Why are you here?” Yoongi said with agitation.
“I want to apologize and hope we can–” the voice gets cut off by Yoongi.
“You should go.”
There was a brief moment of silence before the girl asks, “Are you still sleeping with random girls?” When Yoongi said nothing, the woman adds with a sigh, “Yoongi.”
“Now is not the time, and you should go, Sam.”
Your eyes widened, body frozen still. Sam, the strawberry blonde girl you played beer pong with came to mind.
Chapter 12: 11
It’s been about a week since you last saw Yoongi. A week since you discovered that he has a past with Sam, the girl you met at the party, but you’re not fully sure if it’s the same Sam and what past they have.
You never told Ari about this. It was too… embarrassing for you to mention. You did what Ari didn’t want you to get hurt about, and you’re deeply hurt. Sure you didn’t do the actual thing with Yoongi like a lot of girls have, but what you did and what happened after caused a silence between the two of you. It’s not like you’re avoiding him the way he’s avoiding you. He has not texted you or talked to you, and Hoseok says there’s usually a girl in his room so he has to wait for her to leave before he can go in.
Ari would give you worried glances, but you’d brush it off like you’re not about to cry because your feelings for him grew ten times more. When you left his room and went to yours, you lied in bed and cried yourself to sleep. Just like you did the first night of the year. That fear you felt when you were in that room only proved to be right. This ended badly and you are left feeling empty.
Right now you’re sitting in class trying to focus on the lecture rather than on Sam and Yoongi, and you and Yoongi. You want to know who this girl is and what past they had together to make Yoongi sound so hateful. The only person you can ask is the person who knows him best. Thankfully you’re meeting Ari and Hoseok for lunch after class.
As your professor finishes his lecture, you pack your belongings and left the room like a lot of eager students who were just done listening to long rambles about night photography and how to have a better advantage when taking them. Walking down the hallway, you reached the stairwell and followed the group of people heading down. When you were out of the building, you made your way towards the food court where Ari and Hoseok would be waiting.
Not having your earphones in, you were stuck with listening in on others conversations. Nothing was interesting to you; they talked about class or “the bastard is gonna get his ass beat when I see him this weekend–I can’t believe he cheated on me”. Conversations you could care less for. You had your own problems and one of those was how to bring Sam up in a conversation without causing Ari to get suspicious and cause Hoseok to question things. Sweet Hoseok is oblivious, and you want to keep it that way when you ask about her.
Off into the distance, further away from the court, compared to you, was Hoseok chatting with someone. Your face lit up in realization as you picked up the pace to the food court. With another quick glance at Hoseok, and realizing he’s making his way over, you lightly jogged inside and scanned the area for Ari. You were starting to feel the panic as Hoseok got closer and closer to the building while your eyes continued to glance back and forth in the room.
Where is she?
“Y/N over here,” her voice rings, hand waving towards you from the far left corner of the room.
You almost ran to her now as you threw your bag on a chair next to you and rushed, “Whatever I ask Hoseok play along–I’ll explain everything later–”
Hoseok just arrived. “Hey guys,” he says, smiling as he takes a seat next to Ari and places a kiss at her temple.
You tried your best to act like nothing happened. “Hey. Are you guys ready to eat? I’m starving,” you tell them, voice wavering just a bit from the adrenaline of just a simple beating him here.
“Yeah, let’s get some grub,” he agrees, smiling oh-so happily as he gets up. To your luck he never caught on, but Ari was now staring at you with a curious look. You gave her a begging look and that was all you needed to do before she gave up and played along with your request, but you knew she would be barking questions the second the two of you were alone. “What are you guys in the mood for? I got an A on my performance so it’s my treat,” Hoseok explains, a huge grin on his face as he wraps his arms around Ari’s and your shoulders.
“I’ll never deny free food, and congrats, babe.” Ari gets on her tiptoes and placed a kiss on his cheek.
“Thanks, baby, and don’t even argue with me Y/N, you’re letting me pay today,” Hoseok concluded without giving you a chance to deny his offer.
You sigh, “Then can I have Chinese?” You point to the stand next to the Greek food stand.
“I’m down for some Chinese,” Ari inputs.
“Chinese it is!”
After spending five minutes waiting for Ari to decide what she wants, getting in line and placing your order, and finally getting your food, the three of you sat at the table, munching on your orders. Ari and Hoseok spent a majority of the time talking while you struggled to find a way to bring up Yoongi and Sam. There never seemed to be a perfect moment, and the longer you waited, the closer you get to finishing your food and leaving for the day while Hoseok went back to class.
But it was like fate was on your side as Hoseok said, “Yoongi seems to be having a lot of girls over because almost every day when I go to the room, there’s a piece of red tape on the door. This is worse than usual. I know I said this before, but I really want to go in my room once in a while without having to wait all the time.”
It hurt. It hurt more than anything to hear that again, but you couldn’t let that pain show on your face even as Ari glanced at you with a worried expression once again. “Oh, yeah,” you began, swallowing the lump in your throat, “I forgot to say this last time, but some time last week I heard someone knocking on his door. It was a girl and it sounded like Yoongi wasn’t happy to see her there,” you claim, leaving out the details of being in his bathroom rather than in your room.
Hoseok frowns. “Really? Did you happen to catch her name or what she looks like?”
“I didn’t see what she looks like, but I think he said Sam?” You tried to look like you were struggling to remember what he said, but his words were so clear in your head.
You could see the slight shock on Hoseok’s face as he mutters, “Oh.”
So he does know Sam. “Do you know her?” you question.
Hoseok can only shake his head as he answers, “Yeah. She’s Yoongi’s ex girlfriend.”
You need more information. You felt desperate for more information. “What happened between them? It has to be something bad since he didn’t sound happy and you don’t look like she’s a great person.”
Hoseok picks at his food, taking a quick glance at you. “You can’t tell him I told you this.”
You tried not to look eager as you nod. “Of course.”
“They met when they were sophomores in high school. It was an immediate attraction, and after five months they were dating. They’ve been together for four years before they broke up last year.”
“Why did they break up?” Ari asks, seemingly invested in Yoongi’s past just as much as you were.
He sits back, running a hand down his face. “When Yoongi is dedicated to something, he’s dedicated. He’s also not good at expressing his feelings. In high school and even now he works on making music, so he tends to be cooped up in his room for days. Sam wanted attention from him–you know, to know he still loves her, but Yoongi struggles with that. Last year Yoongi caught her cheating on him, and that was the end of that.”
You couldn’t think of anything to say. He met a girl; he fell in love, and now he’s heartbroken. How long did it take for him to fall in love with her? How long will he continue to let this eat him whole?
“That must have sucked,” Ari said with a sincere tone.
“Yeah, and I’m really hoping the girl that is in the room isn’t her,” Hoseok groans, taking a bite of his food.
“Never get back with an ex. Especially if they’ve cheated on you,” Ari recites, as if it were an actual rule written in a book somewhere.
“What does she look like?” you inquire. You have to know that the woman you met at the party, the nice girl who made you feel a bit more comfortable being there… You have to know that she is not the Sam that broke Yoongi’s heart. But the memory of Yoongi’s dejected look flashed in your head.
It is her. You know it. You were his distraction in the bathroom when he saw her that day.
“She has like red blondish hair? Brown eyes. She’s a theater arts major, so if you’ve gone to plays you may have seen her.” He shrugs, finishing the rest of his food.
“Plays? I’ve been to a few.” Ari taps her chin in thought. “I’m trying to remember a girl with that hair color. What plays has she been in?”
“Uhhh…” he trailed off, eyes darting back and forth a bit as he tries to remember. “The last time I saw one was when she was in Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew. She was Katherine? I’m not a pro at Shakespeare, so I’m not totally sure if she played that character.”
“Oh! The strawberry blonde? She’s gorgeous,” Ari comments, eyes wide with surprise.
Yeah, she really is, you confirm, remembering how pretty she was and how her laugh was so bubbly and warm. You could feel a tinge of jealousy boiling in the pit of your stomach. She’s pretty, friendly, funny and so much more. Yoongi fell in love with her. He’ll never fall in love with you, and you hate yourself for thinking about that.
“You’ve seen her before?” Ari asks.
You blink a few times in realization that you said those words out loud. “Yeah. She was at the party I went to. She was the other team I was playing against in beer pong.”
“Really?” Hoseok baffled, voice louder than before. Ari covers his mouth, smiling apologetically to the eyes glancing in your direction. They’re the perfect couple when it comes to being loud. He removes his girlfriend’s hand from his mouth. “No wonder Yoongi was acting weird when he came back. He was in a pissy mood–more than usual,” he adds.
“Damn. He must really hate her.” Ari shakes her head, pressing the lock button on her phone to check the time. “Oh, babe you should go. Class starts in ten,” she tells Hoseok, looking to him as her phone goes black once again.
Taking a quick glance at his watch, his eyes widen before he closes the lid to his box, picking it up along with his backpack. “You’re right. I’ll see you guys later.” Giving a quick kiss to Ari, Hoseok quickly leaves the food court.
The second he was out of sight, Ari’s attention was now on you. “So are you going to tell me what that was about?”
You sigh. You can’t have a second to yourself before she bombards you with questions, but it was just like you predicted. “Well what I told Hoseok was what I told you to wait for.” You avert your gaze. “Except I was in Yoongi’s bathroom when Sam knocked on his door.”
“What were you doing in his room?” You could see the hint of curiosity and playfulness dance on her face.
“What happened that day was a mistake. Sam clearly wants him back, and Yoongi hasn’t spoken to me since that day.” You could see that Ari wanted more information as to what happened that day, but you just weren’t ready to tell her. Tell her what will most likely be the biggest mistake you’ll ever make. “I’ll tell you some time, Ari. Just not now.”
Her being your best friend, she can tell your distress and could only nod, reaching across the table to take your hand in hers. “Whenever you’re ready, hon, I’ll be here and ready to beat ass if necessary.” You nod, now fighting the urge to cry all over again. You’ve been fighting the urge to cry almost every day, and you felt ridiculous about that. “Want to head back to the dorm?”
You nod closing the lid to your entree box. You grab your backpack, along with your food and followed her to the trash can to toss the food and follow her out of the building. Walking through the crowd, Ari loops her arm through yours, smiling as she leads you to the bus stop to wait for your ride back to the dorm.
A short, and somewhat crowded ride later, you and Ari lie in your own beds staring up at the ceiling in silence. “I know I have a paper to write, but right now I could care less what the four main issues Hunston discusses regarding in corpus design are. I think I’d rather talk about the Tokugawa era and its fall than anything with corpus linguistics,” Ari complains, the sound of her feet hitting her bed filling the silence.
You frown in confusion. “What?”
“Exactly!” she whines, “Why did I decide to take five classes this semester?”
“Why did you?” you ask her, turning to your side to see her through the mirror. She can’t see you though, so it always made you feel a bit weird staring at her without her really knowing it.
“I want my last semester to be the easiest,” she answers, her smile spreading across her lips. The smile leaves as she sits up and stares at you. Seeing her serious expression, you sit up and look at her. “If you don’t want to do this with Yoongi anymore you should tell him. I’ll make something up to Hoseok if he asks.”
You give her a small smile as your gaze goes down to your hands on your lap. You knew you had to end things with him. If you continue to receive these lessons it’ll only hurt you in the end. You can’t keep pushing yourself onto this hope that he’ll one day fall for you. No matter how much you wish for his attention, you’ll never get it. “Yeah, I know,” you whisper, blinking back the tears.
You could hear her moving around before the sound of her feet hitting the floor caused you to look up. She grabs her white water bottle. “I’m gonna go fill up my bottle and then find Rolland downstairs because I have questions about bringing a cat in here.” You chuckle. “Be back,” she sings, opening the door and leaving the room.
When the door closed with a bang, you let out a shaky sigh and grabbed your phone that was hidden under your pillow. You unlocked it, going to your contacts and searched for his name. Once you tapped on his name and opened the text, you typed away with shaky fingers.
[1:14 pm] Me: Hey. After thinking about it, I feel like I’ve learned enough to try and find someone on my own. I won’t be needing those lessons anymore. I hate you.
Deleting the last sentence, you hit send.
Chapter 13: 12
Ari opens the door, tossing her backpack to the floor. You weren’t expecting her to come back so early that when the door loudly creaked from the force of the door opening, you jumped in surprise. She looks to you with a triumphant look on her face as she practically yells with the door still closing, “I got an A on my fucking paper!” The door slams shut as she does a weird and awkward dance.
“Good job. I knew you could do it,” you congratulate, saving your work on your computer.
Ari kicks her backpack with no care in the world as to what she has inside. “Let’s celebrate,” she extolled, pulling off her hoodie and tossing it on her bed.
You turn your body to the left where she stood, picking up her backpack and putting it on her bed. “Celebrate?”
“Yeah. It’s Friday, I got a well deserved grade after almost breaking my wrist, and I am in the mood for some good food and a drink or seven.”
“What about Hoseok?” Ever since Hoseok and Ari got together, they’ve been inseparable. You sometimes wonder if you’ll be like that when you get a boyfriend. All couples eventually spend time separately, right? You sometimes feel really disappointed in yourself for not knowing a lot when it comes to relationships.
“He’s staying after class with some of his classmates to study for a test that ends tonight,” she says, disbelief evident in her tone.
“Why hasn’t he taken the test yet?”
“I don’t know? He seemed really nervous about this test, so all he’s done is study like there’s no tomorrow. I hope he takes it soon because the longer he waits, the harder it will be to answer questions as time ticks by.” Ari shakes her head, walking to her closet and opening the door. “Are you going in sweats?” She looks at you through the mirror.
You blinked at her. “We’re actually going?”
She scoffs, “Yeah. I wasn’t joking, Y/N.” She pulls out a red spaghetti strap and a black jacket. Removing her shirt, she slips on her top. “I want food and some drinks.”
You sigh, “Can’t we just order takeout and sneak some alcohol in?”
“And get in trouble?”
You stared at her, contemplating if sneaking alcohol was really worth it. Groaning, you get up from your seat. “How far are we going?” You walk to your closet, opening the door to grab your jeans and whatever black shirt you first grab. There is no patience when it comes to picking outfits. You just blindly pick and go and hope it looks nice on you.
“It’s only down the street,” she exclaims, taking a set at her desk to fix her makeup at her little mirror. Changing clothes, you realize you put on a turtleneck. You didn’t know you had this type of shirt in your closet. You’ve seen a lot of professional looks with turtlenecks, but you couldn’t remember buying this and found no reason to wear it. “That’s a cute look,” Ari suddenly says, her body turned towards you. You watch her get up from her seat, making her way towards you. She unbuttons your pants and pushes the lower half of your shirt in your pants. “You’ll look even cuter like this. Plus you have a nice ass, so show it off.” Your hands unconsciously go to your butt, suddenly feeling self conscious. Ari buttons your pants and tells you, “No one will look. You’ll be sitting the whole time.” She pulls your shirt out just a bit to give it a baggy look. “There. Now your cute ass will get attention, but you’ll just look like you’re not interested and they’ll be sad not to have the opportunity to speak to the gorgeous Y/N.”
Ari just seems to have a way with words.
After a few more minutes of double checking for everything, the two of you leave your dorm and head the usual route towards the front parking lot. As you pass Yoongi and Hoseok’s door Ari yells, “Let’s go get you drunk and a boyfriend, Y/N!”
You place your hand over her mouth. “Why are you yelling?” you whisper, checking behind you to see if anyone heard her.
Ari removes your hand from over her mouth. “I’m showing Yoongi you’re better off without him,” she replies, the two of you walking past the stairwell and into the hallway where the exit to the front is.
“What makes you think Yoongi is even in his room?” The two of you were halfway down the hall when the sound chatter could be heard as you passed a group of doors.
Ari shrugs. “The dude never goes anywhere besides class and his room right?” You don’t know yourself. A majority of the time you spent with him was either in his room or somewhere else that not many people from campus went to. “I want him to know you’re about to get dicked down and he’s missing out on a fine ass girl.”
“I’m about to what?” What does that even mean?
Ari laughs as the two of you exit the building and head down the stairwell. “Not today obviously, but it’s to make him jealous.”
“We don’t even know if he likes me,” you counter, following a group of students walking towards the front gate entrance.
“Opposites attract, Y/N.”
“I’m attracted to him, but that doesn’t mean he’s attracted to me.”
Ari loops her arm through yours. “You never know. He might have a crush on shy, innocent types.”
“Wishful thinking, Ari,” you say, shaking your head as the two of you reach the sidewalk and make your way up towards the bar that sits at the corner. There were a few other students a bit up ahead making their way towards the bar as well, their loud chatter could be heard from where you and Ari walked.
“So, how’s your project coming along? Don’t you have like two weeks left?” The two of you pass a hotel. The neon light hanging on the window to the reception flickers every few seconds. Everything was quiet in that building until you passed the seafood restaurant where you could see a few people laughing from the window. It looked more lively than the hotel.
“It’s going great surprisingly.” You rub your arm for a little more warmth. “I just have to finish my body and conclusion and then sum it a bit more for the poster.”
“Damn. So you’ll have it done earlier than anyone when it comes to projects,” Ari whistles.
“People finish their projects a week or more before the due date,” you say, the two of you are now closer to the bar where you knew heat would be.
“People who are smart finish weeks before. The rest of us procrastinate,” she laughs, shaking her head. The bar was now within a few feet when Ari said through chattering teeth, “We’re running. I can’t do this anymore.” You didn’t have much of an option as she begins to jog towards the building, dragging you with her. Pushing through the door the smell of nachos and burgers invaded your senses, your stomach rumbling in hunger. Ari removes her arm from around yours, pushing you towards the seating area. “Go find us a table. I’ll grab the food and drinks.”
Walking further into the building, you look around for an empty table. The walls where the tables and booths occupied were yellow while the brick wall had the kitchen and cashier against it. You scanned the room in search of someone leaving, but to your luck you didn’t have to look long until you found an empty booth at the far end of the room. You made your way over as another group of people got up from their table, gathering their backpacks after what looked like studying. You took a seat just as Ari made her way over holding two bottles.
As Ari takes a seat across from you, she hands you the clear bottle with a green substance inside and says, “Flavored alcohol tastes so much better. Plus you’ll want more.”
Thanking your roommate, you take the glass and take a swig of it. It tasted like apples. “Has Hoseok started his test yet?”
“Yeah. When I last texted him, he was getting ready to start the test. He’s nervous and I told him you said "good luck”. He gave me one of those crying faces.“
"I hope he passes,” you mutter as you bring the rim of the glass to your lips. After another drink you add, “Is he coming here after his test or will he just go back to his room?”
Ari thinks for a moment, opening her mouth to answer when the speaker above says, “Ari, please come to the front. Your order is ready.”
She gets up and makes her way to the counter at the front where your food was waiting. From afar you watched her grab the tray, say a few words to the worker and make her way back to your table. “He’s just going to go back to the dorms. He sounded tired over the phone when we last talked,” she answers, putting the tray down and taking her seat.
On the tray was a plate of a greasy cheeseburger and fries; the other plate had nachos with jalapenos. “You got a burger, too?”
“Yeah. I was just going to get nachos for the both of us because it’s a lot, but I was craving a burger, too.” She shrugs. “We’ll share both and have the night of our lives.” You chuckle, grabbing a chip with a jalapeno barely hanging on by the string of cheese that was attempting to escape from your mouth.
You grabbed the plate that held the burger and fries, pulling it towards you. Picking up the knife that was placed between the fries and greasy stack, you cut the burger in half, careful to not give one side more than the other. “Midterms are starting in two weeks, do you know if all your classes will have them or just some?” you ask, pushing the plate back to the middle for Ari to reach.
She groans, “All of them are going to have a midterm. One of them is a fucking paper that has to be seven pages long.”
“Seven? Which class is that?” You also wondered when she was given the information about the paper, and how long she originally had to write it. Ari was a big procrastinator. If she can avoid doing work immediately, she will and give herself a few days to work on it with all the stress jumping her.
She shoves a few fries in her mouth in an aggressive manner. “Modern Asia,” she answers, mouth full of chewed up food. “He gave us this big list of documents we need to pick from and watch. Then we have to write a paper on it and answer the questions he has for them. There are seven documents on six different countries.”
“Which one are you picking?” You grabbed a few nacho chips, flipping it so that the cheese wrapped around and coated the chip more.
“Uzbekistan.” She grabs half of the burger, taking a bite out of the corner. “The People, History, and Culture of Uzbekistan to be more specific. It’s on YouTube so it won’t be a mission to find the video, but a big distraction because it’s on YouTube.” Ari takes another bite, bigger this time, of her burger. “This is really good.” She looks up to you. “Should I buy another one?”
“We haven’t made a dent in the nachos yet. Plus we still have the fries to finish,” you inform, clearly shocked that Ari was ready for more.
“Take a bite of the damn burger and you’ll know what I mean,” she commands, gesturing to your half that sat on your plate in all its glory.
You roll your eyes, doing as told. You couldn’t deny that it smelled amazing and your mouth watered at the endless possibilities as to what it would taste like. When you took that bite, it was like taking a bite out of heaven. Sure you’re being over dramatic, but you totally understand Ari wanting to buy another one. “I’ll go get one,” you tell her getting up from your seat and taking your bag with you while Ari laughs.
You got to the back of the small line, opening your bag and pulling out your wallet. “Next in line,” a voice calls from behind the counter. You take a step forward, now being two people behind before you’re called. You had to double check to make sure you brought your money with you. There were a few times when you just leave your money at home and have to go the day without eating when you’re stuck on campus all day. You get lucky sometimes when Ari would bring you your missing items. The worker called for the next customer to come up.
“Y/N?” You look behind you to see a familiar face. A familiar face with a name you could not remember. It was your partner during beer pong. The handsome guy who any person would want to date. He’s easygoing and funny and friendly, and you cannot remember his name.
“Hey,” you say, trying your best not to sound lost because his name was not coming to mind. “How are you?”
“Good, good. A friend of mine and I were tired from studying, so we decided to come here for a few drinks and some food.” A voice calls for the next person; the two of you move up. “What about you?”
“My friend got an A on her paper. She wanted to go out and celebrate.”
“That’s awesome! I’d do the same if I were her,” he laughs, his smile actually making your heart race as he runs his fingers through his jet black locks.
“Hey, Hanbin,” a male voice calls, coming up to the line. Hanbin. That’s his name. “There’s no empty tables. You just wanna eat outside or bounce?”
“Really? Ah, man.” You watch as Hanbin looks around the building in hopes of someone leaving their table.
“You can eat with us,” you say before you could even stop yourself from letting the words escape your mouth.
Hanbin and his friend look at you. “Really?” the stranger asks.
You can’t say no. You already messed up, and saying no will only make you look like a jerk. “Yeah.” Good job Y/N.
“We don’t want to impose,” Hanbin tells you, looking a little nervous.
“It’s okay.” Where is all this false confidence coming from? “It’s up to you if you want,” you say, turning around and pointing in the direction you and Ari were. “We’re over there if you want to join.”
“Next in line.”
You turn back around and make your way up to the cashier. You give your order for the second burger you and Ari were about to devour, paying and making your way towards your booth where Ari finished her half of the burger. “I messed up,” you rush, grabbing your drink and placing it on her side of the table.
“Messed up? What’d you do?” Ari asks, suddenly being pushed further in the booth as you scoot in. “What are you doing?”
“Remember Hanbin? The boy I told you was my partner at the party?” You grab the plates and pull them closer to the two of you.
“Well he was standing in line behind me and we had small talk and the next thing I know, I invited him and his friend to sit with us,” you professed in a shaky voice.
“You just invited two guys over?” she asks in an ambivalent tone.
You could see her from the corner of your eye staring at you as you babbled, “Yes.”
Her hand moves to her chest. “Has my little Y/N grown up?”
You turn to look at her in surprise. “You’re not mad?”
She laughs, “No. Why would I be?”
“Because you’re dating Hoseok and it’ll look bad if someone saw you chatting with a guy?” Isn’t that how it works? You’ve seen it in movies and it always leads to problems–eventually solved.
“Hoseok trusts me just like I trust him. I’d never cheat on him, and we’re not stopping each other from having opposite sex friends.” She shrugs, looking behind you. “Is that them?”
You turn to look in the direction her eyes were focused on. Hanbin and his friend stood by the soda fountain, getting their drinks. “Yeah. The boy with the green jacket is Hanbin and I don’t know the other guy’s name,” you confess, wondering if it was rude to not introduce yourself. Then again, he didn’t either.
Ari’s voice was now closer to you as she spoke, “Don’t tell Hoseok but he’s really cute. Why not date him? Tall, fit and handsome? That’s a whole package.” She suddenly gasps, “His package must be–”
You cover her mouth with your hand. “Do not finish that sentence,” you sputtered, glancing around to see if anyone heard you. To your luck no one was paying attention to you and your perverted friend.
Aris swats your hands away. “He’s cute, Y/N. And if he comes over and sits with us, then he’s interested in you, too.”
“Or he’s looking for a seat because there is none,” you counteract, grabbing a nacho and shoving it in your mouth. “Also, I’m not interested in him.”
“Guess we’ll see.” A voice speaks over the speaker, calling your name. “Time to devour a delicious burger.” She slaps her hand on your shoulder, pushing you out of the booth.
Groaning you get up and make your way to the pick-up counter, telling the person your name and getting your order. “Are you sure it’s okay?” Hanbin asks, suddenly appearing next to you to grab his own order.
You almost jumped, gripping the plate tighter. He looks to you unsure if he’s allowed to follow. You could feel your heart racing. This is strange. Ari’s words are just getting to you. “Yeah,” you swallow, looking anywhere but at him. “It’s fine.” You are not growing feelings for him.
“Thank you so much, Y/N. I really wanted to eat some chicken strips,” he laughs, his voice sounding smoky.
Oh God you like him.
You, Hanbin and Matthew, he told you, shaking your hand so enthusiastically, made your way towards your booth. Ari was busy stuffing her face with fries to even notice you three until you set the plate down and take a seat next to her. She looks up, eyes wide and fries sticking out of her mouth. Thankfully she waves rather than talk with her mouth full of food. Matthew gets in first followed by Hanbin.
“Uh.” You glance at Ari who quickly chews on her food. “This is my friend and roommate, Ari.” You point to Matthew. “Ari, this is Matthew and this is Hanbin,” you finish, pointing to the boy in front of you.
“Hello,” Ari starts, once she chewed and swallowed her fries, “I’m really hungry, and these fries are good.”
Matthew gasps, “They are.” He turns to Hanbin. “I told you this place has some fucking good food.”
Ari looks to Hanbin as if he offended her. “You’ve never been here before?” He looks at her with a lost expression. He clearly doesn’t know how to respond. To his luck, however, he didn’t have to as Ari adds, “It’s a good thing you have a friend like Matthew to introduce you to nirvana.”
The brunette haired boy snaps his fingers, pointing to your friend. “Exactly.”
“What’s your major?” Ari asks, grabbing the second plate that had the burger to cut it in half.
“Biomedical sciences,” he answers, taking a bite out of his taco.
“Oh? That sounds interesting. What exactly do you study?” Ari rests her arms on the table, leaning forward. The burger no longer exists to her.
“Just kind of the understanding of biological and chemical systems of the human body. What about you?”
“Linguistics, and Y/N here is a photography major.”
Matthew’s eyes were now on you. “Oh another art type.”
“Art type?” you question, finally taking bites out of your half of the first burger.
“Yeah. Photography creates art; stand-still pieces. There’s art galleries for photography, right?” Matthew glances between you and Ari.
“Yeah, I believe so,” Ari replies, popping a fry into her mouth.
“Plus Hanbin here is also an art type,” he begins, nudging his friend with his elbow, “Film.”
“You’re a film major?” You look to him, completely invested in his stories you want him to tell.
He gives you a shy smile. “Yeah.”
And just like that the rest of the night is a blur. You four eat and definitely drink. Ari and Matthew are drunk while you and Hanbin are buzzed. You mainly had conversations with Hanbin half the time the four of you sat. The two of you talked about film and photography–things you did and tried to make your work look better. Eventually Matthew’s girlfriend came and picked him up. Ari gushed at how cute she was and you had to apologize for how… gushy she was. Matthew’s girlfriend didn’t seem to mind much as she smiled and walked a drunk Matthew out of the building.
After a while you and Hanbin decided it was time to head out. Hanbin offered to walk you back to your dorm, and rather than politely decline his offer you say, “Please.”
Now you and Hanbin are chuckling at Ari as she whines about how much she loves Hoseok. Reaching your room you unlock the door for Ari to stumble in and get ready for bed. You keep the door cracked open as you look back at Hanbin.
“Thank you for the walk back.”
He shakes his head. “No problem. With everyone being drunk, you never know who’s trying to start something.”
You smile. “Still, I appreciate it.”
His smile is even bigger as he points to the way you had just come from. “So I can head back the way we came?”
“Okay. Guess I should head out. Be sure to give Ari some water and medicine for her headache if she gets one.” You nod. “We should do this again,” he said, scratching the back of his neck.
“Definitely. Goodnight and have a safe drive home,” you say, voice quieter than before.
“Goodnight, Y/N,” he mumbles, and it was so sudden.
An instant that made your heart race and realization hit as he presses his lips to your forehead, leaving before you could say anything. You touch the spot where his lips met your skin.
You have a crush on him.
Chapter 14: 13
“So you and Hanbin?”
You jump and blurt out, “What?” You turn around to face the source of the voice only to meet gazes with Yoongi.
“You. Hanbin. You’re a couple now?” he says in a nonchalant tone as he looks at you with a lazy gaze.
You could feel the heat on your cheeks and stomach flutter at his name. “No,” you answer. “We’re just friends.”
“Just friends?” He walks past you and up to his door. “From what I saw, that kiss wasn’t “just friends” for him.” He leans against his dorm door, crossing his arms over his chest. “You got someone already?” The way he said the last word irked you. It was like he was mocking you--or something else but he just irritates you.
“Why does it matter?” you ask, walking past him to stand next to your door. “Plus, how do you know about the kiss?”
“Well for starters you always told me you’re not brave enough to do anything. Turns out you’re either lying or you’re really good at getting someone like him to fall for you. And I know about the kiss because you were extremely loud.”
“Well I apologize for the noise and you should be proud that I don’t need you anymore if I can get someone like him--whatever that means,” you state matter-of-factly.
He stares at you with that stupid blank stare you’re beginning to hate so much. “Yeah. Okay. We’ll see how long that lasts before you end up in the bedroom with him.” He puts his key in the hole and turns the door knob.
He enters his room, letting the door close behind him but you’re faster. Slamming your hand on his door and pushing it open. You ignore the stinging feeling on your hand as you say in an outraged tone, “I am sick and tired of you belittling me. Ever since we started this whole thing, you've only judged and acted rude towards me. I’m sorry for what happened to you, but you do not need to push your anger towards her onto me. I am not your distraction and I am not the reason you’re so angry.” You released the door and made your way towards your room. You could hear the sound of his door closing as you opened yours and entered your room.
Ari was staring at you wide-eyed as the door closed behind you. “What?” you ask, tossing your backpack on your bed.
A smile slowly grew on her lips. “Did you just tell him off?”
“Tell him off? I didn’t tell him off.”
Ari laughs, “You so did! You were mad and you let him have it with how he was towards you.”
Your eyes widened a bit. “You heard me?” You plop on your chair. “Was I that loud?”
Ari shakes her head. “You weren’t loud, but I could hear you a bit. I didn’t hear everything, but just enough to know you set him straight.”
You shrug, grabbing your backpack that was luckily close to the edge of your bed. “He was rude to me, and I guess I finally snapped.”
“I can’t believe you brought Sam up in the conversation,” Ari states in awestruck. “You go girl.”
You couldn’t help but sink in your chair a bit. “I can’t believe I said that when he doesn’t even know I know about her.”
Your roommate laughs again, “Fuck that, and fuck him. He treats you like shit, you make him feel like shit. That’s that, Y/N. No guilt.”
You let out the air you were holding. “No guilt,” you say more to yourself than to her.
“That’s my girl,” she says in a cheer like tone. “No guilt just dick.”
You turn towards her. “What?”
It’s her turn to shrug as she answers, “I don’t know. I heard some girl say it at a party once. It doesn’t make sense, but it kind of does if you’re trying to get laid? You’re not trying to get laid right now.” She shakes her head. “Just ignore the whole thing.” You couldn’t help but smile as you open your backpack and pull out your items to begin your homework.
You were about two hours in of doing your homework, Ari giving up twenty minutes after starting, when your phone dings, the screen lighting up and showing the small message icon. Putting your pencil down, you pick up your phone and unlock the screen, clicking on the message.
[3:17 pm] Hanbin: Hey Y/N. Are you free later tonight?
You could feel your heart’s beat pick up as you replied.
[3:18 pm] Me: Hey. I’m free later. What’s up?
Locking your phone, you put it down to distract yourself from your mind going crazy, but it seems Hanbin is a quick texter as your phone dings once again.
[3:18 pm] Hanbin: Would you like to meet up and have dinner together? We could eat at the dining hall if you prefer.
Maybe it's because she's your best friend, or maybe it's because you let out the biggest gasp--it's probably the gasp, but Ari asks, "What happened?" You turn to her with the widest eyes you thought you could ever have. No words were forming, so you could only stick your phone out to her. She gets up from her chair and takes your phone, reading the message. Her eyes grew big, a shocked smile growing as she said animatedly, "You better go."
"I can't," you blurt, taking your phone back.
"You can, Y/N. If you like him, and he's asking you to hang out with him, take advantage of this! Who knows! Maybe he'll like you back and the two of you will go out and act like a cute couple. The jock and the shy girl. It's your typical teen movie!" She sounded so excited, as if she was telling her favorite book to you.
"What makes you think he's a jock? You and I technically barely know him."
"He looks like he works out. He could play baseball? He hits those home runs like he can hit your home run right after--"
"Ari," you groan, covering your ears, no longer wanting to hear her perverted comments.
She cackles, "Okay, okay. I'm done." It's quiet between the two of you as you remove your hands from over your ears. "But I do think you should go. You never know what could happen. It could turn into something more, but it could also turn into a friendship."
You let out a long sigh. "Okay," you mumble, replying with shaky hands.
[3:23 pm] Me: Sure! If you want to come here and eat, or we can meet at the food court on campus.
[3:23 pm] Hanbin: Great! I'll meet you on campus if you don't mind
"What did he say?" Ari asks, no longer by her bed but looming over your shoulder to try and read your texts.
"He wants to meet at the food court," you answer, thumbs hovering over the keys with no way of replying coming to mind.
"Tell him you'll meet him there! Pick a time and we'll dress you cutely," Ari chimes, voice in a sing-song tone. You could only ignore her happy toned comment as you reply to his text.
[3:24 pm] Me: I don't mind
[3:25 pm] Hanbin: See you at 5? :)
Your heart races.
[3:25 pm] Me: See you at 5 :)
Ari squealed, "My Y/N is going on a date!" Grabbing your arm she pulls you to your feet. "You have almost an hour to get ready, so we need to work."
You turn to her. "Why do you make it sound like it's going to be a mission to make me look nice?" you ask in an offensive tone.
She lightly smacks your arm. "You know what I mean. We have less than an hour to make you more cuter than you already are. I feel like Hanbin is into cute girls while Yoongi is into hot girls, so cute is going to be so much easier because you're already cute. We just have to find the perfect outfit and apply some light make-up. Maybe put your hair up in a bun?" she rambles, opening her closet to look through her endless line of clothes.
"I don't want to look like I'm actually trying," you announce, watching her as she pulls out a light pink tank top and holding it out towards you to see how it would look.
"This is cute. Take it." Grabbing the top from her, Ari goes back to her closet and digs through it once more. "You won't look like you're trying. I'm going to dress you like you were in school a few hours ago. Cute outfit, light to no make-up, and hair in a messy bun." Ari brings out an olive colored cardigan. "Put this on and keep the jeans you're wearing."
You roll your eyes, take the clothing article and walk to the bathroom. After a quick top change, you come out to see her setting up her make-up station. "Sit, sit." For the remaining short time that you had, Ari worked effortlessly to do your make-up perfectly and get your messy bun to look obviously messy but cute. By the time she was done, you had ten minutes to make it to the shuttle stop before it took off and you had to wait another thirty minutes. She looks at you with such satisfaction. “You are so freaking cute, Y/N. If no guy dates you, I will.”
You chuckle. “Thanks Ari.”
Grabbing your wallet and bag, Ari hands it to you and grabs you by your shoulders to spin you around towards the door. She pushes you as she rushes, "Now go eat and have fun, and call me if something is fishy! I'll get there in a blink of an eye and beat the shit out of everyone that hurts you." She opened the door and pushed you out, pushing the door close before you could say anything. You could only sigh. How long would it take before Ari realized your phone and keys are still on your desk. The door opens, Ari shoving your keys and phone at you. "Love you!" she says as you take your belongings.
The door closes leaving you alone. "Love you, too," you mutter, putting your wallet and keys in your bag. Doing a quick dig you luckily found earphones. You did a small cheer and put in your earphones, connecting it to your phone as you begin your walk towards the stop. You mouthed the words to the song as you left the building, made your way down the stairs and once again followed a group of people across the parking lot and towards the shuttle and bus stop.
You enter the shuttle seconds before the driver closed the doors and took off towards the campus. You took a seat by the window and watched the scenery go by at a somewhat fast pace. Your favorite song came on. It was a somewhat romantic song and you couldn't help but wonder if this was a sign. A sign for you to move on and let your feelings grow for Hanbin?
You shake your head. You don't know if he has feelings for you. He kissed your forehead--it's not like he kissed your lips or cheek. Plus he was drunk so he probably doesn't remember it or if he just did it out of a friendly manner. Maybe he kisses all his friends who are girls like that. Maybe all his friends.
The campus came into view as the shuttle drove past the main entrance to enter through the side where the driver would stop at the first stop. A few got off as a few entered the shuttle. After a few seconds of waiting for the cars to drive by, the shuttle continued its route. As the second stop began to appear, the vehicle slowed down, coming to a stop behind a bus. You grabbed your bag and followed one other student off the shuttle, thanking the driver as you stepped off the last step.
A few people ran past you to make it to the bus that looked like it was about to leave. You hoped they made it as you made your way towards the main food court. As you began to pass the student union building, you wondered if he meant the food court next to the bar and grill, or the food court that was on the floor in the building you are now passing. Turning the corner that would lead you towards the escalators to the higher level of the campus you meet eyes with Hanbin, who was exiting the same building you were walking by.
He smiles. "Hey," he says, slipping his backpack on.
Taking in a quiet, shaky breath, you say, "Hi."
He walks alongside you as the two of you make your way towards the escalators. "I wasn't sure if we were meeting at this food court or the one by the bar," he laughs.
You smile, relieved he felt the same way you did just moments ago. "Yeah. I wasn't sure either, so I thought the main one would be where you would be."
"Me too. I was on the first floor watching people bowling and I spent a good five minutes deciding if I should just go to the second floor or meet you at the one up here." He points to the building at the top of the escalator. "Guess I chose correctly."
You giggle, "I guess I chose correctly, too."
As the two of you step onto the escalator, letting it take you to the top, Hanbin asks, "What are you in the mood for?"
Crap. He put you on the spot. Now you actually have to think on what you want. You don't know--you didn't have time to think about it. You were so worried about meeting up with him and the whole kiss thing that you totally forgot about what it is that you two are going to eat. What do you say? Greek? Chinese? Japanese? A burrito? A burger? What. Do. You. Say? "I'm not sure yet," you blurt. Close enough.
"Shall we flip a coin?" he questions, fishing out from his pocket a coin. You nod. "Heads are whatever is up here, and tails is whatever is on the second floor." You nod again, watching as he gets the coin into position and tosses it into the air. The two of you watch the coin flip over and over again before landing back in his hand as he does one more flip and reveals the result on the back of his hand. "Tails it is." He gestures to the escalator behind you. "Guess we should go back down."
You smile turning around and following the line to the escalator and going down. "So what are you in the mood for down there?" you ask him, hoping he'll take the bait and pick rather than ask you again because you still do not know.
Hanbin taps his chin in thought. "They have a sub shop as well as Mexican I think?" He seemed to have a eureka moment as he snapped his fingers. "There's a pizza shop outside the main entrance. Are you in the mood for pizza?"
Ah. Sbarro. "Yeah. Pizza sounds great."
"Okay, we'll just go through the court and head outside," he informs, taking the lead and entering the student union building. You follow in suit, walking inside and following him past all the tables and chairs that were taken up by students eating and chatting. You enter the lobby of the building where in the center of the room is the student information center. Walking out the front entrance door, you see it was a bit similar to the outdoor seating by the food court. Along both walls were different stores. Hair parlor, a bank, and so much more along with the pizza shop to your left. Running along the shops were tables and chairs for students.
Walking towards the shop and entering the small building, you placed your orders, arguing with Hanbin for a minute about paying, but he paid and the two of you waited at a small table. "Uh," Hanbin began, adjusting in his seat across from you, "The reason I asked to meet you is because I wanted to talk about that kiss."
You swallowed. "Okay."
He looks at you guiltily. Oh boy. What is he going to say? There are so many ideas that are running through your mind, but you didn't want to listen to it. You didn't want to let that get to you any longer. That fear of maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Hanbin interrupts your thoughts, "I wanted to apologize for kissing you. I know it was sudden and I should not have done that--especially drunk, but..." he trails off, looking away. Scratching the back of his head, he mumbles, "I have a crush on you, and in the heat of a drunk moment, I kissed you. However, that doesn't excuse my actions."
You were frozen in shock. Did you hear that correctly? No... Right? "What did you say?" you ask, voice just above a whisper.
You shake your head. "No, after that. The... uh."
Hanbin seemed to have caught on. The color on his cheeks changed to a pinkish color. "I"--he clears his throat--"I have a crush on you."
"When?" he repeats and you nod. "I guess since we met at the party. You were kind and pretty, and drunk you were even cuter." You're totally hallucinating. Right? "I just wanted to meet to apologize. I'm not looking for you to like me back or anything--plus we just met. I barely know you really," he rambled, and continued to ramble that you weren't even listening anymore.
"I like you, too," you blurt, voice completely uneven.
Hanbin stopped talking and was now staring at you. "What?"
You couldn't meet his eyes as you repeated yourself, "I like you, too." You look back up at him.
It was like a weight was lifted off his shoulders and the slight fear in his eyes disappeared. Hanbin smiles the biggest smile he could and it causes you to smile as well. "Shall we get to know each other more?"
You nod, and for the rest of the day the two of you sat, ate and talked about everything and anything. You discovered his favorite color, why he decided to become a film major and so much more. From just his stories you love his older sister, and his mom is just an angel.
Sadly the sun was going and the shop was closing, so that meant it was time for you to go. The two of you continued to talk as you made your way towards the bus stop. When the two of you reached the stop, you saw your shuttle idling by. Most likely waiting for time to go by before it would take off towards the dorms. You made it just in time.
"Well," Hanbin begins as you turn around to face him, "I guess I'll see you later."
You smile, acting like a schoolgirl as you twirl your finger around a loose string on your bag. "Yeah. I'll see you later."
Hanbin chuckles. "Bye, Y/N."
"Bye," you reply, waving as you turn around and enter the shuttle, showing your ID as you took the first seat. You couldn't see who else was in the vehicle, but you saw a few heads. Thankfully they're all back seats kind of people so they couldn't see all your giddiness. Your phone rings and you quickly pull it out of your bag, forgetting you never put it on vibrate. You frown, answering the phone and looking out the window to Hanbin.
"Would you like to go on a date this weekend?" he asks, gaze towards the door where you had entered.
You chuckle, shining the light from your phone on the window. His attention was now where you were. "I'd love to."
Chapter 15: 14
Ari never seemed happier as she is right now after you had asked her to help you find the perfect outfit for today's date. She squealed and yelled about how happy she is for you to be going on a date with a “God” as she put it.
“Do you want Hoseok to hear you?” you whisper, listening intently for your neighbor to come banging on your door.
“He’s still on campus,” she states as she opens her closet and digs through her line of clothes. “The only person that should be there is Dick McGee. Unless he's somewhere as well." She hands you a yellow sweater, moving to your closet to dig through it for something else. Even though her eyes were on the inside of your closet, it seems as though she senses your confusion with the top she handed you. "That's a laguna yellow."
"You seem to know your colors," you mutter, grabbing a pair of light blue jeans from her.
"Should have majored in fashion," she sighs before gesturing to the bathroom behind you. After a quick change you're seated at her desk and given "the second biggest makeover of a lifetime." You really don't know what that means, but you're not going to say anything. It's probably just best to let her do her thing so that she doesn't mess your make-up up because you somehow offended her. Ari talks the entire process--mainly about how she imagines your date going today. The two of you are going to talk about everything while walking down the sidewalk at the park brushing the back of your hand against each other. The two of you are too shy to say anything about it, but after a few more brushes, he gathers the courage to take your hand in his. Your hand fits perfectly into his like any romantic situation. There's blushing and no eye contact.
You want that. You want all of that. To feel loved and to have all those feelings you felt for Yoongi, but to have someone feel the same way for you. "I'm scared," you whisper, eyes closed as you feel the brush run along your lids.
There's a pause in her movements. It's silent for a few seconds before she speaks, "Why?"
You open your eyes, meeting her gaze as you answer, "I've never had anyone tell me they like me before. I know it sounds stupid, but I'm just scared of all that is going to come after this date. What if he doesn't like me after this? What if I'm only meant to just like someone and that's it?"
Ari cups your cheeks, squishing your face. "It's okay to be scared, Y/N. You're new to the whole dating thing, and if he doesn't have feelings for you after this then he wasn't the one. It'll suck because you like him, but your future husband will pop up soon." Ari goes back to work on your eye shadow, your eyes closing. "So don't worry about it, Y/N." When Ari is done with everything, she couldn't help herself and began to take pictures for whatever app she's using. "I wanna show you off."
Your phone chimes and you both freeze. Grabbing your phone off from your bed you open the text.
[2:48 pm] Hanbin: Hey! I'm outside the dorms :)
"He's here," you tell her, clearly nervous all over again.
Ari claps her hands in excitement. "I'm so excited, and my first date was years ago." She grabs your bag and hands it to you as she rushes you out the door like she did a few days ago. "Tell me everything when you come back. I'll make sure I'm not with Hoseok or anything!"
Saying your goodbyes, you let out a deep breath and make your way down the hall. Every step was slow and drag-like. You're so nervous you feel like you're going to throw up. What you didn't expect, however, was when you step outside and make your way down the steps to see him standing at the end, all that fear left. You weren't scared, but excited. Happy.
"Hey," he says, smiling his perfectly crooked smile.
He sticks his arm out towards you. "Ready to go?"
You smile, looping your arm through his. "Let's go." He leads you towards the parking lot, passing a few parked cars before going in between two red vehicles. He opens the passenger door to your right, acting gentlemanly. You laugh, "Thank you." You get in the car as he closes the door and makes his way around. "Okay, Y/N. You got this. You got this." He opens the door. "Where are we headed?"
He shakes his head. "That's a secret," he answers. "I'm only hoping you'll like it." Turning the ignition, his car comes to life and he puts it in reverse and backs out the spot. "If not," he begins, putting the car in drive, "I should have just taken you out to dinner." The drive was silent at first, but once you brought up midterms, the conversation went. "We're almost there," he tells you after a while of talking, pointing to the glove compartment. "There's an eye mask in there. Can you put that on?"
You open the compartment. "An eye mask?"
"Cheesy I know, but Ari said you love this place and I thought doing this would make it ten times better."
"Okay," you say, a bit reluctant as you put the mask on. You sit in silence, hands on your lap as you feel the car take a turn. You don't know how long it was, but you guessed around five minutes before the car came to a stop.
Hanbin turns off the engine and tells you, "Don't remove them just yet." The door opens and you hear a weird roaring sound. Where are you? A few seconds later your door opens. "Give me your hand?" You unbuckle your seat belt, sticking your hand out and feel his grab yours. He helps you out of the car, placing your bag in your hand for you to drape around your shoulder. "Do you know where we are?" he questions.
You shake your head. "It's hard to tell." There's a sound of people screaming. "Where are we?"
"Not yet." He guides you, your hand wrapped in his as you walk for a while, every now and then him telling you that something is coming up. The roaring and screaming is louder now. You think you know where you are, but you could be wrong. A few steps later he finally stops and says, "Okay. You can take them off."
Reaching for the strap on the mask, you pull it off, blinking to adjust to the sunlight. When your vision is clear, you look up and see the huge, familiar sign. Dragons Throne can be read in big red and bold letters. A green dragon with its mouth open and fire coming from it twists its body around the T.
You looked to Hanbin. "You brought me to Dragons Throne?"
He looked a little dejected as he replies, "Ari said you love this place so I thought it would be a great first date, but I guess I was wrong--"
"No, no," you cut him off, shaking your head and hands. "I love this place. I was just surprised that we would be here," you laugh nervously. "I've never been on a date, so from all the romantic movies I've seen, first dates are usually dinner and a movie."
He nods in understanding. "Hopefully this will be better than dinner and a movie." He holds out his hand towards you. "Shall we have fun?"
You hesitantly reach for his outstretched hand, taking in that this could be something. You could finally have that happy ending you've been waiting for. You didn't realize the first time how big his hands were compared to yours. It is like yours disappeared when you held hands. After a few minutes of waiting in line to get past the entrance gate, you are now giddy with excitement. It's been a while since you came here, and even though you've been on all the rides, you still can't help but feel like you're about to ride them for the first time.
"Where should we go first?" he asks you, looking down to meet your gaze.
The Big Drop? Slasher? What ride should his first experience be? "Let's start from this side and work our way around," you negotiate, pointing to the right and sweeping your arm around until it stops to your left side.
He chuckles, "Deal." You lead him towards the first roller coaster with excitement as you get in the short line. "It said the wait will be fifteen minutes," Hanbin begins, leaning against the railing, "I'm thinking we can play a game in the meantime."
You look at him with an inquisitive gaze. "What kind of game?"
"Well we've talked a lot, so we know a few things about one another. Let's quiz each other and see who has a better memory."
"What does the winner get?" you catechize, leaning against the railing across from him.
He taps his chin in thought. After a few seconds of thinking he answers, "The winner gets a prize from the stands here."
Hanbin grins. "I'll start and it'll be an easy one. What's my favorite color?"
"Orange." He nods. "What's mine?" you ask.
"Gray. What's my mom's name?"
So he plans to go further than what you expected. You thought maybe it’s simple questions like his major, favorites and so on. You weren't expecting questions that involve family members, or most likely questions about his childhood. But you have a good memory so you know basically everything he told you. "Mindy."
It seems like both of you are competitive with how hard the questions were getting. You both want to win and be known as the person who knows the other best, but it seems like it'll be a tie. It didn't stop after the first ride. No. Each wait the questions continue and it surprises you how much you two talk within two weeks. As the hours went by you became more comfortable around him. You didn't wait for him to take your hand, you just went for it like you've been doing it for years.
After the two of you had ridden half the rides there, Hanbin suggests, "How about we get something to eat?"
"Sure. What are you in the mood for?"
"What are you in the mood for?"
You begin to think of all the restaurants and stands that are scattered around the park. What could he be in the mood for? Fish or meat? Maybe just fries and a corn dog? Your mom always boasted about the turkey legs they have at the park in your hometown. "Well we can go to the food court area and we can figure out what we want," you suggest.
"Sounds good." He smiles, letting you lead the way once again. You pass by a few characters taking pictures with kids and adults before you reach the main area where a majority of the food stands and restaurants reside. Walking past the stone arch, your eyes immediately drift to the nacho stand. It's not like there isn’t a variety of good options, but since you first tried their nachos here, you couldn't help but get them every time you came here.
"I see nachos," Hanbin comments and your eyes dart to him. Is he your soulmate? He looks at you. "What are you getting?"
He grins. "Great minds think alike." There is no one in the nacho line so you order and receive your food quickly. Taking a seat at an empty table, you and Hanbin dug in. Comparing your plate to Hanbin's you realize you are as simple as it gets. Just jalapenos and that's it. Hanbin, on the other hand, has jalapenos, onions, sour cream--the whole works. "Want some?" he offers. You quickly shake your head. He laughs, "Not a fan?"
"Onions." Hanbin can only laugh even harder.
The rest of the day were all a fun blur. Your hands never let one another's go for a majority of the time. Taking breaks you were snuggled close together. You took photos together and you sent them to Ari. He even won you a prize even though you lost by one question. To you it feels like a date that you only see on extremely romantic movies. Like a princess going on a date for the first time with the prince she eventually falls in love with.
After a long day, and basically staying until closing, you and Hanbin got out of his car in the dorm parking lot. In one hand you had a light pink bear and in the other Hanbin held yours lightly, fingers laced. People are hanging out on the sidewalk chatting away dressed for going out as you two pass them and head up the stairs. You are ready to fish out your ID to open the door, but another group of people has opened the door to leave. The hall is loud; full of chatting people, loud music and even a few doors open where you can see figures dancing.
"So this is what it's like to dorm," Hanbin chuckles, continuing to lead you down the hall, past the stairway and into your hall. Reaching your dorm door he stops and turns to look at you. He smiles warmly, his thumb brushing along your skin. "I had fun," he tells you.
"Me too," you confess, heart fluttering as you grip the bear tighter. "Thank you."
He shakes his head. "I'm hoping there's another one sometime soon."
"I'd love that. Maybe after midterms?" you suggest. Just enough time to do a date or two more before break.
"Yeah," he begins, staring at you with such a warm gaze you could feel your cheeks warming, "I guess it's time to say bye."
You didn't want to. "Yeah."
A few seconds of silence. "Can I kiss you?" he whispers. It’s like the hairs on the back of your neck stood. No words were leaving your mouth, so you nod. Hanbin leans in slow. As if he is still making sure you want this. He got closer and closer until his lips touched yours. It is everything you ever imagined. His lips are soft and he kissed you slow and with so much care. You're only falling for him even more. When he moves back, he presses his forehead against yours. "Night, Y/N."
"Night," you breathe. With one last kiss you watch him leave.
You couldn't help but grin as you pulled out your key and entered the room. You're not even mad that Ari isn't here. You're so happy that nothing could break you. You place the bear on your bed, put your bag on the floor, grab your pj's and take a quick shower. After your shower, you climb into bed, lie on your side and snuggle with the bear. You close your eyes and imagine the whole date over again.
In the silence of sheer bliss a soft rhythmic sound can be heard. It is a small tapping sound, but it grew louder and louder as well as the sound of a girl moaning. It hit you. It's like the beginning of the semester all over again, but it's different today. You have Hanbin. You have someone who likes you and wants to go on another date with you. He's not Yoongi. He's better.
So why are you crying yourself to sleep for the second time because of him?
Chapter 16: 15
Hanbin holds you close as he kisses your cheek in small, quick pecks. You couldn’t help but giggle as he kisses his way from your cheek to your lips. “Well if it isn’t our favorite couple,” a voice booms, causing you and Hanbin to break apart.
Looking behind him you see Ari and Hoseok walking up to you. “Hey,” you say, Ari walking up to you to hug you as Hoseok and Hanbin shake hands.
“So cute,” she whispers in your ear before stepping back. She looks between you and Hanbin. “The two of you just come back from a date?”
Hanbin smiles as your cheeks turn a shade darker. “Yeah. We had dinner and studied for our midterms tomorrow.”
“Ugh. Don’t remind me,” Ari complains, covering her ears. “I’m not ready.”
Hoseok laughs, “You’ll pass. Quit stressing.” He wraps his arm around her shoulder, rubbing her arm as he brings her close. “Right after this is break. I’m ready to not be here.”
“I miss my dog,” Hanbin confesses, eyeing the small box in Hoseok’s hand. “Where’d you guys come from?”
Ari’s eyes travel to where Hanbin is looking. “Oh, we had dinner at this little restaurant down the street. Yoongi messaged Hoseok to get him something.” You couldn’t help but flinch at the name.
“Yoongi?” Hanbin questions with curiosity, thankfully oblivious to your reaction.
“My roommate,” Hoseok answers, eyes drifting behind you. “Speaking of the devil. Yoongi,” he calls, releasing Ari as he makes his way over to his roommate somewhere behind you.
Ari watches as Hanbin turns his head to see, but you don’t. You keep your eyes forward and at Ari’s feet. It’s amazing how much he still has an affect on you when nothing really ever happened between you two. Maybe it’s just the feelings you felt during those private moments that keeps your feelings for him there.
“We should do a double date,” Ari suddenly bursts, bringing both your and Hanbin’s attention to her. Her smile is big at the ideas that were clearly running through her head. “We can have one right after midterms before the dorms kick us out!” She gasps, “We can have a really fancy date. Dress up, do our hair and make up, go somewhere really fancy.” She continues to list all that you guys can do before you go home.
Home. Home where your parents are; where your pets are and all your old friends you no longer talk to. Home where you know that when you’re alone at night, you’ll question your feelings and all the choices you’ve made up until this point.
“Y/N.” You blink and look up to meet Hanbin’s sweet gaze. “What do you think?”
“About what?” You feel bad for not listening to their conversation.
“The double date after midterms.”
“Ah.” You really have to stop daydreaming. “Yeah. It sounds nice,” you tell them, trying to remember the full details Ari had given.
“Great,” Ari gleams, clapping her hands together. “We’ll talk more about it later, Y/N, but for now I need to talk with you about our troublesome neighbors and their habit of leaving their clothes on the floor in the bathroom.” You frown in confusion. What is she talking about? Your neighbors have never left their clothes in the bathroom, but it’s when she gives you “the look” that you knew it was something else. She had to tell you something in private. With no prying ears.
You turn to Hanbin an automatic smile plastered on your lips when you see him smiling. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asks, bringing his fingers up to brush along your cheek before pushing some hair back behind your ear.
“Yeah,” you answer, voice barely audible, but he hears you loud and clear as his smile grows and he leans down to place a soft kiss on your lips. You close your eyes and savor the moment before he pulls back but not before placing a kiss on your forehead and saying bye to both you and Ari. You watch him make his way towards his car, turning around one last time and waving to you then calls, “Later Hoseok.”
“Later,” Hoseok yells, scaring both you and Ari. You jump and Ari screams while Hoseok is giving a mixture of unintelligible apologies and laughter. “I’m sorry,” he finally manages, wrapping his arms around his girlfriend.
“I’m sorry,” she mocks, giving him a light tap on his stomach as he hugs her tighter. “I actually need to talk to Y/N so I’ll talk to you later okay?” she looks up to him, lips puckered and waiting for Hoseok to kiss her.
He chuckles, “Okay. Text me later.” Giving her a kiss, Hoseok releases her, giving you a hug and leaving the two of you alone.
When he is out of earshot, you look to your roommate. “What’s wrong?” you immediately question.
Ari grabs your hand, leading you across the parking lot to the benches in the middle of an open lawn that the parking lot surrounds. She pulls you down to sit with her at the first bench. “What’s wrong with you?” she asks, voice still low as if someone could be hiding somewhere in their car or behind a car.
You frown. “What do you mean?”
She gives you that look. The look that says you know what she’s talking about. “Why are you still hurt over Yoongi?”
“I’m not.” You avert your gaze.
You cave. “I don’t know. I should be over him by now, but every time I see him, or think of him, or even hear him, it hurts and…” you trail off, feeling your emotions try to take over as you clear your throat. “I don’t understand.”
Ari places her hand over yours. “Break is coming soon, and the school year is almost over. When we pick our dorm, we can pick a room that isn’t next to Yoongi. You’ll get over him, Y/N.”
You nod. You’re just going to have to.
“Okay. We have a few hours to look so damn hot that the boys won’t know what to do with themselves,” Ari rushes, opening her closet to toss her clothes in the hamper. “Hurry up and shower,” she instructs not even looking at you. You get off your bed, grabbing your clothes and shower supplies. Making your way past the frantic girl and into the bathroom, Ari suddenly speaks in a frantic tone, “Don’t be too quick. I need time to do my make-up before I do yours.”
You roll your eyes, closing the door to the bathroom. The second you hear the click to locking the door, you crouch down, burying your face in your towel. This is going to be your first double date. This is going to be your first date wearing a dress for Hanbin. You could feel the heat rise on your cheeks, your heart race, and the butterflies erupt in your stomach. You're so nervous, but you don't want to let Ari see because that'll only end up with her teasing you. Like she always does when you were crushing on...
Shaking your head, you get up, place your clothes and towel on the toilet seat, you turn the knob to the shower, feeling the cold water run down your fingers as you wait for it to get warm. You refuse to let your thoughts of him take over as you remove your clothes and step into the shower. You refuse to let him get the best of you–influence you the way he has since the beginning. No more.
Once you finish your "long" shower, you step out of the bathroom with your dirty clothes in one hand and your shower caddy in the other. Ari is applying eye shadow when she looks at you through the mirror. "Wow, Y/N," she says, eyes back on herself.
"What?" you ask, a little scared that something dyed your hair or face.
"You're so gorgeous," she tells you nonchalantly. You roll your eyes, but couldn't stop the small smile gracing your lips as you make your way to your closet to toss your clothes in the hamper and put the caddy away. "Brush your hair and I'll be ready to make you look like an even better goddess in a second." You shake your head but do as told. If Ari wasn't here–if she didn't enter your life at the perfect moment, you don't know what you'd do without her. You became roommates because no one else accepted you, but she was looking for a roommate and so were you. Just a click and a fingers crossed, you two became roommates and best friends.
"Where is this restaurant we're going to at?" you ask, pulling your brush out of your top drawer.
"That's a surprise."
You stop mid brush. "Just me?"
"Yup," she says with a popping sound at the end. "Hanbin knows where we're going since I had to make sure he's okay with it."
"You expect him to pay for both of us?" You continue to brush your hair, but in a slow manner.
"No, but he said he would. I told him you probably won't let that happen, but he said he'll be sneaky," she chuckles, placing the brush down and looking at herself. "This is my "you're going to fuck me tonight" masterpiece."
"Ari," you sigh, covering your ears, but there was no point to it. She said it and she won't be saying any more. She knows one sentence can be enough for you to want to leave the room.
She laughs, getting up from her chair before spinning it around to face away from her desk. "Come sit," she instructs as you quickly finish brushing your hair and get off your bed to make your way towards her. You take a seat. "We'll give you a natural look, with some peach lipstick? Red maybe?" She begins her work as you close your eyes, feeling the cold liquid be placed on your skin. It’s like Ari had magic fingers–or she’s just a professional, but as quickly as she started, she is done. You’ll never understand her magic, but you’re just glad she’s as quick as she is and doesn’t have to redo it one too many times. She digs through her closet, pulling out dress after dress as she mutters, “Too shiny. Not enough shine.” Pulling out a black dress, she hold it up to you, eyeing the dress on you. “This is perfect. Go try it on.”
You take the dress in your hands, the silk swimming along your fingers. Entering the bathroom, you delicately place the dress on the toilet seat cover as if it were made of glass and was going to shatter any moment. You remove your pajamas, placing them on the top lid, and grab the silk dress. Pulling the zipper down at the back of the dress you bring it up over your head and slip into it. As the dress falls, it leaves a small pool at your feet, lace starting just above your breasts and makes its way up to your collar bone and covers your arms until it reaches your wrist. You thought the sleeves would be itchy because some fabrics were when you wore them, but this one wasn’t. Grabbing your clothes you step towards the door when you suddenly feel the cold air hit your right leg. You look down as you unlock and open the door.
“There’s a slit in this dress?” you ask, stepping out of the bathroom and closing it behind you.
“Yes ma’am. That one pop will get Hanbin’s eyes all over you.”
You ignore her comment as you turn your back to her. “Zip me?” Pulling the dress under the zipper, Ari zips your dress up, giving a pat on your back when she’s done. “When are they supposed to be coming?”
Ari grabs a maroon colored dress and places it on her bed as she begins to undress. “About an hour? That’s enough time for me to do your hair and mine.” She dresses as you place your pajamas on your bed for when you come back. “For your hair,” she begins, slipping the straps on, “I’m thinking we’ll put it up in a bun and have a few strands fall in the front.” She points back to her chair. “Take a seat.”
After another small session of Ari’s make over, the two of you put on your shoes and make sure you have everything you need when there is a knock at the door. You two look at each other for a second before a jumpy Ari makes her way towards the door. She looks so excited and it’s spreading to you, too. The door opens, Hoseok on the other side, and as his smile leaves his face, his eyes widening, he mutters a “wow” as his eyes travel from her eyes to her dress. His gaze travels from Ari over to you. “Woah,” he says louder than earlier, eyes widening. “Yo, Han.” Hoseok stretches his hand out to the side. You couldn’t seen what he was reaching for, but as he pulls his hand back, Hanbin comes into view.
Hanbin’s eyes first lock with Ari’s, giving her a polite smile and a “hello” before Hoseok grabs him by the chin and forces his head towards you. You aren’t sure if he said anything because no words are registering as you stare at him. You always admire his god like looks, but in the suit he’s wearing…
It is just a black suit. A black shirt underneath and a black tie to go along with it, but he’s never looked more handsome than he does right now.
“Y/N,” Ari calls, snapping her fingers. You blink back to reality. “Are you ready?” You nod, feeling embarrassed that you were just staring at Hanbin. “Let’s go!” she sings, holding the door for you as you exit your dorm room. Ari loops her arm through her boyfriend’s as Hanbin waits for you. The two of you couldn’t meet eyes for a second as you walked behind the couple making their way towards the parking lot.
Hanbin clears his throat, holding out his hand. You look down at his hand then up at him. He smiles and you take it, lacing your fingers through his. “You look beautiful.”
You blush, looking away. “Thank you.”
He quietly chuckles, brushing his thumb along your skin.
The restaurant looks very expensive. Glass chandeliers, marble white floor, expensive looking art, a band playing soft music, and even dance floor with a few people dancing.
You weren’t expecting this fancy, but you should have known when you’re dressed like this. Your mind is racing with all the prices you’re about to see as the host hands you the menus while taking your order for drinks. You want to ask the three if this is too expensive–you are college students after all, but with how casual they’re looking, you don’t want to be the one to ruin the mood. So, you stay quiet.
You open the menu and don’t look at the prices as your eyes scroll down the list of foods. In all honesty you could not pronounce a lot of the words that were on this list, but to your luck, or maybe the art gods blessing you, you find one word that you can pronounce. Steak. Ari is reading off some of the items on the list as she debates what she wants, but you have no idea what she is saying.
As the waiter comes, he places a bottle of white wine at your table followed by four glasses. When did someone order wine? He pulls out a notepad and pen. “Are you ready to order?” You all say your orders–Ari’s and Hanbin’s were orders you had no idea how to say even after hearing it. As the waiter leaves, Hoseok gets straight to work with pouring the wine.
Hanbin passes you a glass as Ari grabs hers and holds it up. “To passing those damn midterms and to finishing the rest of the school year with A’s.”
You and the guys lift your glass as well. “To A’s,” you say, the other two following after. With a clink of your glass you take a sip of your wine. You’re not much of a drinker, but you couldn’t deny that this wine is something you can drink every day if you could.
“So what are you guys doing this break?” Hanbin asks, placing his glass down.
“Well,” Ari begins, taking another sip, “Hoseok and I were going to go camping and bring Y/N with us, but my mom has something planned for me and is begging me to go home, so that’s what I’m doing.”
“I’m going home to see my family and a friend of mine. He goes to a more competitive school so we don’t get to see each other much like we used to,” Hoseok explains.
“What about you?” Ari asks.
Hanbin shifts in his seat. “My brother wants to go on a trip.”
“Oh, that sounds exciting,” Ari says, intrigued, leaning forward in her seat. “Where are you going?”
As Hanbin explains his small list of stops he’s going to make with his brother, you couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like if it were you and him going on a trip. Where would you go? What would you do? You imagine all the little pit stops you two would make when you’re almost out of gas–grabbing all the snacks you could. You would feed some snacks to Hanbin as he drove, a pleased smile on his face as he ate a favorite of yours. He’d tell you to buy more of those at the next stop. When you were at the hotel, the two of you would be cuddling, his arms wrapped tightly around you as you listened to the sound of crickets outside, the beating of his heart, and feel the small kiss he would place on your forehead. It’s everything you could ever imagine.
“What about you, Y/N.”
“Hm?” Your fantasy leaves your thoughts as you turn to meet eyes with Hanbin.
He chuckles. “What are you doing this break?” he asks again.
“Ah.” You place your hands on your lap. “Hang out with my parents. Watch a bunch of movies. Simple things.”
“That sounds so cute,” Ari begins, clapping her hands together, “I think we should all Skype and watch a movie together.”
“That would be fun,” you say, eyes on the waiter who appears with your plates. The plates are passed and you tell him “thank you” as he takes his leave. “What would we watch?” you inquire, trying to keep the conversation going and not let it hang for silence to wash over.
“Let’s do one of every genre,” Ari says, taking a piece of her food and putting it in her mouth.
“I’m not watching anything scary,” Hoseok states, shaking his head.
Ari laughs, placing a hand on his arm. “Okay. We won’t watch anything scary.”
Cutting your steak, you pick up a piece and place it in your mouth. It felt like the steak melted as you chew it. It’s so soft and easy to chew, and the taste of it. You’re in heaven as you take another bite. “How is it,” Hanbin asks, leaning in towards you. You pick up a piece with the fork and bring it closer to his mouth. He happily takes the piece of steak, eyes widening at the taste and texture. “I think I’ve entered heaven,” he whispers, earning a small laugh from you.
“What are you eating?” you ask, eyeing his pinkish orange dinner.
“Salmon and some roasted potatoes.” He takes a piece of his salmon. “Want a piece?” You nod watching him do the same movement you did with him. You smile, taking a bite. You’ve never had salmon before, but you couldn’t deny it’s really delicious.
“It’s really good,” you tell him, taking a sip of your wine.
He nods in agreement. “When I become a famous director and you a famous photographer, we should come here once a week. Try everything and buy the recipe off the chef and make it at home.”
You felt like your heart skipped a beat. You never thought about the future. To you it never seemed like it was in sight. School, homework, life–nothing showed light of what your future could hold, but here is Hanbin telling you he sees that future you questioned. He sees a future with you in it. You would normally question this, but you didn’t want to. You want to have this future–to not wonder who’s in your life and who isn’t. You want to see this future Hanbin sees. You want to have a future where someone as wonderful, smart, funny, sweet and caring as Hanbin is in it.
“Deal,” you say, turning your attention back to your food so that he could not see the blush creeping on your cheeks. For the remaining of dinner, the four of you talk about anything that came to mind. Who’s going to grad school. Who’s going to get a job right after graduation. Traveling. Where would you go if you did travel. It feels nice. Nice to just laugh and not think all that much. Not think about what eats you up and what is waiting for your answers when you refuse to even look at it.
Hanbin’s hand finds yours, his fingers lacing through yours. You look up to him. “Care to dance?”
“Dance?” Your eyes go from him to the dance floor behind him, then back to him. “I don’t know how to really… dance.”
He chuckles. “I’ll teach you.” He stands up, your hand still in his. You get up and let him lead you towards the dance floor, heart racing in fear. He turns to face you, his hand holding yours adjusts, the other going to the small of your back. You place your free hand on his shoulder in awkwardness. “Just follow my lead.” With a quiet “two, three” Hanbin begins his steps, you stumbling after. It took a while. A slow, constant stepping on the feet, but he never stops and is always patient as you learn his simple box step movement. “There you go,” he would say as you got it right after a few boxes later. “You’re dancing,” he says, placing a kiss on your forehead.
“I have a good teacher,” you tell him, keeping your eyes on his chest.
He laughs. “Are you ready for the grande finale?”
“The what?” But he’s already starting. Hanbin lets go of your waist, his hand now holding only the tips of your fingers as he spins you before bringing you back into him.
“Thank you for this dance.” He brings the back of your hand to his lips, giving you a soft kiss.
“Well wasn’t that cute,” Ari voices, making her way over towards you with Hoseok. “As much as I don’t want to ruin this adorable moment, Y/N and I have to pack tomorrow, so I think it’s time we leave. Plus the restaurant closes in thirty.”
Hanbin holds your hands as you stand by the car in the dorm parking lot. “I had fun.”
You smile. “Me too.”
“Get some rest and be sure to text me when you leave tomorrow. I wish I could take you to the airport, but my flight leaves earlier than yours,” he sighs, shaking his head in disappointment. “I’m sorry.”
You giggle. “It’s fine. Just text me when you leave and land.”
He smiles sweetly. “I will.” He stares at you for a moment. As if he’s taking in everything he can before he leaves, but you’re also doing the same. It’s only a week, but it actually feels like forever. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” You nod, leaning in as you two kiss one another. “Bye,” he mumbles against your lips when he parts.
“Bye,” you repeat, kissing him one last time before he fully pulls back and makes his way towards his car. You watch him leave as he pulls out of the spot and pulls onto the street until he is no longer visible. Lifting the bottom of your dress slightly off the ground, you make your way across the parking lot and towards the building. Ari and Hoseok sit on a bench at the side entrance to the dining hall, hidden in the dark but their outlines could be seen by the dim light coming from the lamp post.
“Y/N,” Ari calls before you can take a step on the stairs leading up to the third floor. You look in their direction. “I’ll be there in a minute.” You nod, taking a few steps up before she calls again, “I hope you had fun.”
You smile. “I did,” you call back. “Night Hoseok.”
“Good night, Y/N!” Hoseok says as you continue your journey up.
It was your first double date and you loved it. The conversations that happened, the hand holding Hanbin would initiate under the table. The quick kisses that were stolen when no one was looking. It was like a fairy tale, and you never wanted for that story to end. It did, however, as the door next to yours opens, your heart breaking, and a familiar figure stepping out followed by another familiar person.
Sam fixed her hair as she turned around to face Yoongi, giving him a kiss on his lips. He does nothing and says nothing as she takes her leave, walking past you. “Excuse me,” she says, as if she doesn’t recognize you.
You look to Yoongi as his eyes meets yours. No words are said as he closes his door shut. Leaving you alone in the hall as Sam’s heels click against the floor in a mocking tone.
Chapter 17: 16
You stare at the two story house as if it were your own home. The red brick walls and white shingles–it’s like your typical house you see in movies. You and Hanbin have been together for eight months and you’ve been over to his house for two months now. His parents and siblings love you. Every time you’re over they’re asking if you’d like to stay for dinner or if you’d like to play family game night together. You would always stay and have dinner or play games even though you knew you were supposed to check in to your hotel room.
They always seemed to distract you and then you’d take their spare bedroom instead of heading to your already bought room. Eventually you just stayed at their place rather than find a hotel.
Today is different in a way. You are staying at his place as usual, but today Hanbin’s family isn’t home, leaving just you two alone for the weekend. You’re nervous. Why? Because after almost three months of things getting heated between the two of you, you’re wondering if this weekend will be the weekend you lose your virginity to him. It makes you nervous and scared, but you trust him. You wouldn’t want to lose your flower to anyone but him. The man who makes you feel loved, cherished and so protected that you feel like you can go anywhere with him and not be scared of the “monsters” that lurk out in this world.
You walk up to the door with Hanbin after going out to grab some dinner for the movie you’re going to watch in his bedroom. “It’s a scary movie,” he said, and although you like scary movies, you still get scared during the movie and at night when you go to bed and let your thoughts take over. If he’s going to make you watch a scary movie close to night time, he better be ready for you to sleep in his bed with him and against the wall because you are not sleeping alone.
You wait as he unlocks the door, bag in hand and drinks in yours. With the familiar sound of a click from the door, he turns the knob and opens the door, allowing you to enter first. You walk inside the house and further down until you’re standing near the entry ways of the living room and kitchen. Hanbin closes the door behind him and locks it, turning to you with a sweet smile as he walks along with you up the stairs and down the hallway towards his bedroom at the end of the hall.
“I’m so excited,” Hanbin says, the tone in his husky voice showing excitement as well. “I heard No One’s Home is the best horror ghost film this year.” You can’t help but shiver and he seems to notice as he chuckles. “I’ll hold you real close, Y/N. You can your face in my arms.” You smile, feeling your heart beat quicken. The two of you enter his room and he closes it behind you, following you as you make your way towards his black sofa that is against his wall on the right side of the room.
The room is rather simple but expensive looking. Standing at the doorway, the bed is immediately to your left against the wall, his desk with an expensive computer was at the end of his bed. Black sheets and a gray blanket with a worn stuffed elephant placed in between the two pillows–a stuffed animal he’s had since he was a baby. Along the wall with the sofa is a dresser with little knick-knacks he’s collected over the years along with a few trophies he’s won from his baseball tournaments. At the back far wall is Hanbin’s wall mounted television, underneath is a long bookshelf full of figurines, photos of his friends and family and books on film. On his off white colored walls are photos from movies such as The Godfather, Casablanca and more well known movies.
You take a seat on the sofa, placing the drink on the dark wood coffee table as Hanbin does the same with the food. As you get everything ready you can hear Hanbin get to work setting up the projector placed on a floating shelf above you, ready to project on the empty wall where the bed was against. You place his drink and order in front of the empty spot where he will sit, opening the box and putting the straw into his cup before doing the same for yourself. Once everything is ready and the movie is starting, you watch as Hanbin grabs a remote off from the coffee table, pressing a button and the lights dimming just enough for it to be dark but to still be able to see the food in front of you.
And so you two dig in, the movie already starting with a woman screaming.
You bury your face into Hanbin’s shoulder, earning another laugh from him as the intruder breaks the window to enter the house. He rubs your thigh that was on his lap with his thumb, his other hand holding you closer. “I didn’t know I’d date a scaredy cat when I asked you out.” You shake your head, not wanting to hear the struggle of whatever is happening. He chuckles, his body vibrating from his laughter, giving you a sense of peace from the fear that is hovering over you. He places a kiss on the side of your head, resting his cheek against you. You turn your head to the side, your forehead pressed against his cheek as you focus on the sound of his breathing. Closing your eyes, you enjoy the feeling of him. The feeling of his arms wrapped securely around you, his thumbs rubbing small circles on you, his slow breathing, and his heartbeat.
You move your head back to look at him, watching him as his attention goes from the movie to you. He looks down at you, his brow furrowed in confusion. “What?” Releasing one hand from around his waist, you cup his cheek and lean forward, watching him fill in the gap between you two. He kisses you like he kissed you that first time in front of your dorm room. He’s slow, cautious with you, as if he’s waiting for you to give him the okay. It’s what you like about him, he always puts you first.
You kiss him harder, with more greed as you feel him comply, his tongue brushing along your lower lip for access. You let him enter, his tongue brushing along yours as he shifts on the sofa and lies you on the couch as he places himself on top. He places his hand on the armrest to the sofa, the other finding its way to cup your cheek. You let your hand run through his locks as your other hand clutches onto his maroon colored shirt.
He continues to kiss you for a while longer, his lips making their way to your neck a few times before he breaks the kiss and pulls back. “We should probably stop,” he says, resting on his knees between your legs. The first time the two of you got into the moment, his hand brushed along the skin of you hip, scaring you a bit. You were nervous and unsure and ended the moment in an instant. Thankfully he understood and wasn’t hurt by your sudden reaction. However, it continued every time the two of you got caught up, and sometimes you wondered if he was getting irritated by it.
But he wasn’t. He always reassured you that it’s okay to feel that way. You weren’t ready at the time.
Today, however, you’re ready. You’re more than ready.
You sit up, bringing your legs under you as you get to your knees and almost to his height. You shake your head, cupping his cheeks and kissing him once more. You feel him hesitate at first, unsure if this is what you really want, but you have to let him know. You have to let him know you’re ready. Grabbing his hands, you place them on your hips, this time brushing your tongue along his bottom lip. He seems to understand what you’re trying to say, his grip on your hips tightening, his greed he lost coming back to life.
Your hands travel down from his cheeks to the hem of his shirt, trying to push it up and off of him. He releases his grip on you and helps you, quickly removing his shirt. Letting the shirt fall to the floor, he kisses you again; you let your hands roam his toned stomach, feeling every line of his abs. They’re hard even when he’s not flexing. A sign he’s clearly worked out a lot.
You feel his hands reach for your shirt, but he’s hesitant. Unsure if it’s what you want, so you grab your shirt and pull it off yourself. Feeling your heart race and the fear consume you as you realize you don’t have a shirt anymore. You’re topless in front of your boyfriend.
Your boyfriend. He’s not a stranger. He’s not someone you’re hooking up with. He’s someone you’re going to make love with. Someone who was so shy in asking you to be his girlfriend that he asked you to be his wife on accident because of the show you two were watching. You never laughed so hard. He’s your boyfriend. He won’t see you any different.
That’s what you have to tell yourself as you remove your hands from over your body, letting him see you. He holds your cheeks, bringing your gaze back up to him. He gives you a soft kiss. A warm and caring kiss. “Are you sure?” he asks in a whisper, his lips brushing along yours.
You swallow and nod. “I’m ready,” you mumble back, looking into his hazel colored eyes.
He nods back, kissing you slow and delicately like you can break any minute, and you feel like you can. You feel his hands travel down carefully until he reaches your sides. He feels the curve of your hips, the side of your bra but never your chest. You want to move his hands there, but you’re too scared to move your own hands from his chest. You’ll just have to let him take his time.
He breaks the kiss again, and not just a few inches, but far enough that you can see the details to his facial features. The mole on the bridge of his nose, his long lashes, and so much more but he doesn’t give you the chance as he wraps an arm around your waist and the other at the back of your thighs, lifting you off the couch. You immediately wrap your arms around his neck, watching as he takes a few steps around the coffee table and towards the bed. He climbs onto the bed before lying you down, his body hovering over yours once again.
He places himself between your legs as he kisses you this time with more need than the last. His hand is on your stomach, trailing small circles around your bellybutton. You shiver under his touch. The kissing continues with your tongues dancing around one another as you find yourself getting a little more confidant as you trail your hands down to the beginning of his pants. He doesn’t let you continue as his hand travels up to the fabric of your bra. Your hands stop, body a little tense again as he let’s a finger trail between the valley of your breasts. He plays around your breasts, waiting for you to relax a bit, and when you finally do, you realize your heart is going to explode. He finally places a hand on your boob, waiting a few before he squeezes lightly.
It feels strange if you’re going to be honest. You’ve never been groped before so you’re unsure as to what it should feel like. Maybe because you have the bra on that it’s weird? If you took off your bra would things feel better? Even though you’re beyond scared, you arch your back as a sign for him to remove your last top clothing article. He takes the hint and his hand goes to your back, struggling a little before he unclasps your bra. He kisses his way back down to your neck, licking and sucking as his hand comes out from under you and makes its way under your loose article. His hand is warm as he takes a light hold of your flesh. He squeezes and it still feels strange.
He plays with your nipple, moving it in small circular motions and even pinching it. It feels slightly nice as he bites your neck. He flicks it and you can’t help but jerk at the sudden motion, but you want him to do it again. You want him to take away the bra so that it’s not in the way.
“Hanbin,” you mutter, catching his attention. You grab your bra and pull it off you, feeling your face go red as you toss it across the room. His eyes travel down from your eyes to your naked top. Leaning down you feel the butterflies explode as he kisses just above your nipple. He kisses below it, kissing around them before he takes one into his mouth. It’s warm and different as he swirls his tongue around, sucking the tip and your body reacts, arching your back for him to take more.
You’ve touched your breasts in a sensual way before, but you didn’t feel this aroused as you do now with Hanbin touching you the way you did. You want him to continue on for who knows how long. You just want to be in this euphoria for as long as you can be before you face–
He grinds himself against your core, your breath hitching from the sudden movement. He does it again, a little rougher as he switches breasts. There’s another intake as you feel the pressure between both your clothed cores. You open your legs wider for him, wanting to feel him grind against you again, and he does. Grinding your own hips to meet the small friction happening between the two of you, Hanbin takes your now hardened nipple between his teeth and bites, pulling it just enough to earn a small moan from you.
As if he couldn’t take it anymore, Hanbin sits up and works on unbuttoning your jeans, you’re just as eager to help. He pulls down your pants and takes them off before they disappear behind him and leaves you now in just your underwear. He looks down to your womanhood, his finger traveling to the fabric. He lets it slide over the silk, his fingers brushing lightly but still causing your body to react from the sudden touch.
He meets your gaze, eyes full of lust that you can’t look away. You feel his finger again, pressing harder so that his fingers traveled between your lips and stopped at your bud where he forms a circular motion. You take in a deep breath never realizing how wet you already were from the few minutes of what he’s done to you. You can’t help but wonder what he feels, but you don’t have to think hard as you can see it in his eyes and the obvious bulge in his pants.
“Ah,” you quietly let out, body twitching from the pleasure you’re getting. Your breathing is slightly uneven as you take a handful of his blanket in your hands. “Hanbin,” you whisper, watching his finger the entire time while he watches you.
Maybe he understands what your body is telling him but your mind isn’t processing because he removes his finger from your bud and grabs the band of your pantie, removing it slowly and off you. Watching him scoot back and lean forward, you can’t help but imagine the first time this happened. The first time you experienced oral sex was when you had your eyes closed and you were lying on Yoongi’s bed as he held your legs open and–
You shake your head, no longer wanting to remember him. He’s not in your life anymore. You haven’t seen him in almost two months–you really haven’t seen him since that night when you had your double date with Ari and Hoseok. When Sam left his bedroom…
Your moan is louder, body pulling back and your back arching as you feel Hanbin run his tongue between your folds. You feel his arms wrap around your thighs, his hands holding them open as he continues his rhythm of a few licks between before going to swirl around your bud, sucking lightly. Your toes curl at the sensation as his hot breath hits your warmth as he creates your fourth orgasm, the building up becoming too much that your body shakes as you see the white stars and the build up burst.
You can feel your skin turning sticky from the sweat that built up from the heat slowly rising the room. The afternoon sun shining through the window, making Hanbin’s skin glow as he sits up, looking down at you. He looks sexy. His jet black hair sticking to his forehead from his own sweat, his toned body glistening as well, and the bulge more evident than before. Just like that first time in Yoongi’s room–your mind refuses to think but rather listen to your body as you get to your knees, kissing him again and your hands traveling to his pants.
You don’t hesitate this time as you unbuckle the belt to his pants, working on his button before finally zipping the zipper down. You don’t pull down his pants but let your hand go in and feel his length. It pulses from under his boxers and it’s hard, the tip leaving a small gap between the band and his pelvis. You grip his member, hearing an intake of his breath as you follow the length up and down. He grabs one cheek of your behind with one hand while the other goes down in between you two, his fingers finding its way to your bead again.
His breathing is ragged as you palm him, feeling his length radiate heat through the fabric as you suppress a moan as he rubs your own heat. Your tongues dance around one another as you finally bring your hand inside his last clothing article, feeling the skin of his penis. It’s warm and pulses in your hand as you do what…
You push that memory back as you let your hand do what it did that day, forgetting the person you practiced on. He moans into your mouth as you rub your finger on his tip, feeling a sticky substance coming from his slit. “Pre cum,” Ari told you when describing the male penis to you. Who knew having a friend open to talking about sex can help you now.
You can’t take it any longer as you feel the familiar high coming as you remove your hand from his pants and use both to push them to pull down his pants and off him. His hand leaves yours and he hops off the bed and removes his pants and boxers in one motion. You stare at his erect member, swallowing at the size of it. It looks big–bigger than Yoongi’s. You can’t stop the fear taking over as you think of that entering you. It’s going to hurt. It’s going to hurt so much.
As if sensing your fear, Hanbin climbs back onto the bed, cups your cheeks and brings your gaze up to him. “It won’t hurt like you think it will, Y/N. I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you’re ready, and when you know you’re ready, you tell me and then we’ll try. If you’re not ready today, we don’t have to do it,” he reassures, his voice soft and filling you up with warmth.
You nod, feeling a bit more at ease as he kisses you once, twice, and then you’re lost in his lips. His hands travel down, feeling the curve of your body until he’s back to rubbing your clit, bringing back the feeling once again. You can’t help but bring your own hands back to his, feeling it pressed up against your stomach as you rub it between your hand and stomach. He moans into your mouth as you do the same, feeling the need to do more for him. Grabbing his sex, you bring it down, opening your legs wider as you move his hand away and place it between your folds, remembering how you did it with–no. Stop.
Hanbin breaks the kiss and looks down between you two before looking back up at you. “Please move,” you mumble. feeling already sensitive from him pressed against you. He pulls back, climbing off the bed again. You’re confused as you watch him make is way to his dresser, opening the first drawer and digs around for a second before pulling out a plastic wrapper and a black bottle. He comes back to you, tossing the condom on the bed completely forgetting about it as he focuses on the bottle, opening it and pouring a clear liquid substance onto his open palm. Closing the lid and dropping it next to the forgotten condom, he rubs it between his hands before coating his staff with it.
You realize it’s lube.
He makes his way back to you on the bed, on his knees in front of you as he nods, grabbing his rod and putting it back between you. It’s cold and you can’t stop the gasp escaping past your lips as you go still, waiting for you body to get used to the sudden change in temperature. “Sorry,” he mumbles, voice low and uneven as if he’s trying to stop himself from coming already. After a few seconds of deep breaths from him, he moves, his erection sliding along your vagina. You gasp, feeling the familiar pleasure you felt that day coming back. You close your legs, trapping him between you as he moves, a groan leaving him.
He keeps his pace slow-like as you feel the heat between the two of you grow. “Faster.” You want to feel him–feel him move at a fast pace that you can’t keep still. He complies with your request, capturing your lips as his thrusts become more quick. He glides against you so quickly and with ease as you feel your high grow more and more. The two of you are groaning into each other’s mouths as his thrusts are faster and harder, his pelvis hitting your own that if you weren’t desperate for him to go harder, you would feel the pain ten times more than you do right now. He wraps his arm around your waist to hold you still as he pounds against you.
You pull away, gasping and choking on a moan as you clutch onto him, wanting to become undone so badly. Hanbin stops moving, letting go of your waist as he instructs, “Lie down on your back.” You do as told, feeling your skin peel apart from each other as you lie on your back, looking up at him. He scoots closer to you, placing his sex between your folds again before grabbing your legs closing them and trapping him between them. You bend your knees close to your chest as you feel him move again, his grip on your ankles tightening immediately as he begins to pant.
The moans come back, your hands clutching onto his blanket. You’re close this time. Coming close a lot faster than you were earlier. Maybe it’s the angle, or it’s how he can thrust faster without having to be blocked, but your toes curl, back arching into an uncomfortable position as your body shakes, the long awaited orgasm finally coming undone. You can tell Hanbin’s rhythmic thrusts are uncertain now as he groans louder and a curse leaving his lips as he stills and a warm substance lands just below your bellybutton.
He releases his grip on your ankles, your legs falling like jelly onto the bed and Hanbin resting his hands on either side of you, his head resting against your shoulder. The two of you breath heavily as the sunlight barely filters through the trees, the room almost completely engulfed in darkness as the ceiling lights had turned off when you finished eating. “I wasn’t expecting that,” he mutters, his breath hitting your collar bone.
He brings his head up to look into your eyes, his hazel eyes glistening from the dim sunlight, black hair sticking to his forehead. You reach a hand up and brush the strands away. “Can we keep going?” you ask, voice barely a whisper, but he hears you loud and clear.
His brows rise. “You want to continue?” You give a slow nod. Did you mess up by asking to continue? Is he tired? Does he not want to? “If you want to we can. It may take me a while to… you know.” He smiles sheepishly at you, giving you a second to catch on to what he’s saying.
“Oh. Okay,” you reply, nodding in somewhat understanding. You had two orgasms within the first session, so you don’t understand the male body. Maybe all men are different and Hanbin just takes a bit to get into the mood. “We can stop if you want.”
Your boyfriend chuckles. “It’s all about you today, Y/N. If you want to continue we will. It won’t be that long before I’m hard again.” With another nod from you, Hanbin leans down and places a kiss on the tip of your nose. He kisses down to your lips, the two of you sharing the sweet moment before he continues down further. He gives each breast light kisses before reaching your stomach, going down the center of your stomach and stopping before your bellybutton. He move down to reach your center. His eyes travel up to you, his hands finding yours and he interlocks your fingers together. “I’ll be trying something. If you’re uncomfortable just tell me.”
Giving him your “okay”, he continues a bit further down until his tongue brushes between your lips again. You can’t help but gasp, your body clearly sensitive to the touch. He lets your hands go and as he hold one leg down, the other is there right along his tongue. He opens the folds, his tongue working its magic and even going a bit further by enter your hole just a bit. You revel in the feeling of his tongue, letting yourself get lost in the feeling as his tongue is back on your clitoris, fingers still where he put them.
His finger glides up and down, collecting what juices you made before he stops lower than where his mouth is. He forms a small circle around your entrance and slowly sticks one finger in. It’s barely the tip of his finger, but it feels strange. However, you’re too absorbed in the feel of his mouth as he inches another finger in. He continues until he has almost his entire finger inside you. Hanbin pulls out before slowly pushing back in.
It feels weird–it feels strange, but maybe he’s trying to get your body used to it before it’s him that enters. When he pulls out, he enters another finger, carefully pushing two digits in you, and you can’t help but feel even more strange. How long does it take before you’re enjoying the feeling? It honestly didn’t take long for the mouth to make you feel good, but his fingers are different. You close your eyes and try to enjoy the feeling you’re getting as best as possible without letting the fear take over.
“Ah,” you moan, body jerking as you feel his mouth suck a bit harder than earlier on your bud. Hanbin continues his small thrusts, twisting his fingers as he enters again, and once curling his fingers, but as he continues, the strange feeling is slowly being replaced with pleasure. He searches and tries as many angles as he can until he finds a sensitive area inside you. “Right there,” you gasp, as he pulls his fingers out. He looks up to you for what looks like reassurance. “Right there please.”
As Hanbin enters his fingers again, he does what he did the last time, twisting his fingers and curling them to hit the same spot so perfectly. You moan louder, bucking your hips from how strong the feeling is. He does it again and again, always finding the same spot as you clutch the blanket, moving your own hips to his movements. “Faster,” you beg, bringing your hips back as he does with his fingers before the two of you meet moving forward. He picks up his pace, the sound of what you can describe as sticking your fingers in slime and the wet sound coming after filling the room along with your moans. You can’t hold back any sounds escaping your body, even if you fear the neighbors hearing you–it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is feeling the whirl of emotions you’re having right now.
You’re begging now. Begging for him to go faster to give you that rush you’re so close to getting, but it’s not enough. “I need you,” you moan, looking down at him as his eyes meet yours. He pulls back and out, sitting up and cocking his head to the side. “I need you in me,” you rephrase, watching as as a small ‘o’ forms around his lips in realization.
“Are you sure?” he questions.
He looks hesitant again. Like a child afraid to take something after his mother said “no”, but he moves forward and grabs his girth, lining it up to you. He glances at you. “If it’s uncomfortable–”
“Just tell you,” you say.
He chuckles. “Guess I talk a lot.”
You reach a hand out to him and he takes it. Holding his hand you look at him with a look of comfort this time. “I’m ready. I trust you.”
He inhales, caught off guard by your words. “Okay.” Grabbing the condom and lube bottle, the two items long forgotten about, he rips the wrapper open with his mouth and pulls out the condom, rolling it onto his fill. Tossing the package to the floor, he opens the cap to the bottle and pours it onto his hand, closing the lid and dropping it to the ground where the wrapper lies. You watch him as he rubs the clear substance on his protected shaft. Once he figures it’s covered, he strokes himself a few times before aligning it back to you.
He rubs his bulge up and down your sex, sending a shiver down your spine. Finally, he pushes himself in. You feel him enter but it’s a small amount before he pulls back out just barely leaving the tip inside. He pushes himself back in, a little further in. Pulls out. Again back in, more entering. He continues this, the feeling strange because it’s bigger and he can’t twist or curve it like he did with his fingers. You can feel your walls widen, but it’s not painful like you thought it would. There’s no tears like they have in the movies or what people tell you.
“Sex isn’t painful like people think. If you’re vag is prepped enough, it won’t feel like you’re being stabbed like the actors make you think. It’s all about knowing your body,” Ari told you when you first confessed to her about your first heated moment with Hanbin.
You’re not afraid, your body isn’t tense like you thought it would be. You’re calm and ready more than ever, and although it feels strange, once he starts moving in and out you, know you’ll feel what all women feel.
Hanbin finally comes to a stop, his erection fully inside you. “How are you?” he asks.
“I’m fine,” you answer.
He nods, leaning forward and placing a warm kiss to your lips. “Tell me when you’re ready.”
You wait for a bit. Waiting for your body to get used to his size. When you feel like your body has adjusted, you exhale. “Okay.”
Hanbin moves. Pulling out like he did with his fingers, slow and careful. You’re unsure as to when you’ll feel good, but right now it’s just strange. It’s not uncomfortable or painful. It’s just… weird. He pushes back in, his own breathing uneven, eyes shut tight.
“Are you okay?”
He struggles to let out a chuckle as he answers, “You’re really tight and warm. I’m losing my mind right now.”
“Oh.” Even through the reddened and sweat filled cheeks, you can still feel the heat rise in them.
He opens an eye. “Are you okay?” He pulls back out.
“Yeah,” you half lie. You don’t want to tell him how you really feel. “You can move faster.”
He exhales. “Okay.” The blanket on either side of you shift due to Hanbin’s grip tightening as he pushes in faster than the last thrust. Resting on his elbows now, Hanbin leans forward and kisses you. You cup his cheeks, feeling his tongue enter yours without a thought as his thrusts into you, the feeling still foreign. Your tongues play around one another with more practice comparing to the first time. With practice you’re used to your boyfriend biting your lower lip, pulling back just a bit. With practice you find it so attractive and love how he’ll sigh in such content as you would do the same.
And with practiced thrusts, you finally let out a moan as the strange feeling disappears and the familiar thrill enter in its place. Your moan seemed to encourage Hanbin as he thrusts even faster than earlier, earning another muffled moan. The kiss breaks, Hanbin sitting back up on his knees with his hands gripping your hips, and you grab onto his wrists, eyes shut as you finally enjoy the feeling of sex.
You moan out his name and he moans out a curse as he pounds into you, the sound of your moans and skin slapping fills the room, the sun long gone and moonlight shining through the window along with the projector light now playing a white light. Opening your eyes to look at him. You can only see his outline, the light from the projector creating an illusion that he’s a god coming down from above. A god thrusting into you so good that your back arches, giving the god like figure a chance to dip forward and bring his arm under you, changing your positions in one swift movement. You place your hands on his chest to keep your balance still as you adjust yourself now on top of him.
You sway your hips forward and back as you watch your shadow on the wall in front of you. Your hair is wild and if it were a mirror you’ll probably see the mess Hanbin has made out of you, but you can’t stop to focus on yourself as you hear a moan leave your boyfriend’s lips, his hands traveling from your hips up to grab your breasts and squeeze. His moans urge you to move faster and harder like he did. His pleas urge you to be just as quick as he is as you sit up straight and begin to bounce on him, the familiar sounds of slapping skin and moans filling the room again within seconds.
You can feel it again. You can feel the tense feeling licking the edge ready to burst. Hanbin grunts loudly, his body stiffening beneath you as you bounce a few times more before you feel the walls clench around him and the orgasm hit like a wall breaking down a dam. You sway your hips, eyes shut and nails digging into Hanbin’s skin as you ride out your orgasm, feeling your legs trying to close shut around his waist. After a few seconds and the world coming back to life, you hear the pants coming from you two along with the whirring sound from the projector.
You open your eyes to see Hanbin staring at the roof, his chest heaving as you slowly pull yourself off him, flinching as you feel him leave you. Lying next to him, he turns his head towards you, sweat more evident on his skin than earlier today. “That was–how do you feel?”
“It was amazing and intense,” you confess, feeling your voice crack. Your emotions are all over the place and you’re trying hard not to have that urge to cry.
He shifts his body facing you, caressing your cheek as he leans forward to place a kiss on your lips. “What do you want to do? Do you want to take a shower?”
“I want to sleep.” Your body will refuse to get up and make its way towards his bathroom, but you know it’ll get up just a bit to climb under the covers, and it does as Hanbin leans over the bed to grab his shirt and boxers. He hands you his shirt for you to put on as he removes the condom and tosses it into the trashcan next to his desk and puts his boxers on. When you’ve settled in, Hanbin brings you into his arms and you fall asleep almost immediately.
The following morning you wake up before does, remembering all that happened the night before. You turn to look at his sleeping figure, watching his chest rise and fall slowly. After five minutes of debating with yourself, you decide to wake him up and have sex. The feeling is strange at first but ends with so much intensity as last night.
For the remaining weekend before his family comes home, you two had sex continuously.
Chapter 18: 17
“I still can’t believe this is our last year,” Ari says, heaving her final luggage out of her trunk. “Finally,” she mutters, closing the trunk and pulling out the handle from its secure place. She looks to you and grins. “Let’s unpack.” The two of you make your way towards the building where your new room awaits.
You haven’t seen Ari since she finished her finals earlier than you. Helping her pack her belongings and putting it in her car, she left for the summer. Through calls and texts she told you she spent half her summer with her family and the other half with Hoseok. Now that you finally get to see her again, you immediately notice how short her hair is. Her hair was past her shoulders when she left just a few months ago, and now it’s barely touching her shoulders. Someone as beautiful as Ari can pull anything off it seems.
As the two of you make your way towards the dorm building, you head up the stairs that you’ve been taking since you moved into the dorms. This time, thankfully, Ari let you pick where to live, and you chose the second floor closer to the exit door where you can easily leave if you’re in a hurry. And you’re nowhere near Yoongi. He’s always stayed on the third floor, so you took that chance to pick the second floor and the side wing where you will never see him unless you’re forced to.
When you reach the second floor, Ari presses her ID to the scanner, hearing a click and pulls the door open for you. As you enter the building, a group of people are chatting at the far end of the hallway, several bags of what looks to be trash on the floor. Your guess is they finished packing. You wish you were them right now instead of going up and down the stairs. Sadly it’s not and as you pass the first five doors, you reach your room.
Since you were last here, everyone had to use their key to get inside their dorm, but over the summer the dorms were updated and now you use your IDs to get inside your rooms. Pressing your ID to the scanner, you wait for the door to slowly unlock before you enter your messy room. Boxes and luggage everywhere.
“Home sweet home,” Ari sighs, entering the room after you and heading for her bed to toss her suitcase along with the rest of the pile. Just like the last dorm, everything is basically the same. One bed next to the door, a desk at the end of the bed with another bed on the other side of the desk, and the second desk between said furniture and the sink. The only difference is while your bed was to your right in your old room, the bed is now to your left with the mirror closets and bathroom to the right. “I wonder what room Hoseok is in. Maybe the same as last semester?” Ari questions, beginning her long journey of unpacking.
“He hasn’t told you yet?” you ask her, placing your items on your bed to start your unpacking.
“Just like you, Hoseok never picks the room,” Ari laughs, creating a pile of her shirts and pants on the bed as she pulls out a light pink top, folding it neatly and puts it at the top of her stack.
You hum in response, spending the rest of the time unpacking and helping Ari decorate the room a bit. By the time the two of you finished, Ari’s phone chimes, her music fading and screen lighting up for a brief second. You watch as she hangs the final strand of hanging lights to the hook on the wall before jumping off her bed and grabbing her phone off her desk. She reads the message.
“Seems like Hoseok is done packing and wants to see our room,” she tells you, typing away on her phone. “I’ll have him meet me by the stairs on this floor.” She locks her screen and looks to you. “See you in a bit.” You follow her towards the door, watching her open it as the door across from yours opens as well. As the door opens fully you can see two figures exiting their room. One figure you wish to never see again, but the world won’t give you that. “Hoseok?” Ari says in complete shock.
He looks up to lock eyes with his girlfriend. “Hey,” he laughs. “What a coincidence.”
“Yeah. It’s really weird,” Ari chuckles, but you can feel the discomfort in her tone as she continues her talk with Hoseok.
Their conversation dies out as your eyes stick to him like glue. You haven’t seen him in months, but you can see the little details on what’s changed with him. He has an undercut, his hair brushing along the tips of his ears and brows. His face looks more fuller and on his neck, just sticking out from under his black t-shirt is ink. He has a new tattoo–you wonder if it’s a part of his sleeve. Your eyes travel back up and you see that he’s staring at you. You’re the first to look away.
“I’ll see you later,” he tells Hoseok, voice gruff as you hear his footsteps disappear.
You’ve missed him. You hate the fact that you’ve missed him, but you do. So much that you constantly had to distract yourself over the summer because if you were alone with your thoughts for even one second, your thoughts would travel to him. From his dark eyes, down to the feeling of his hand when he touched you. You hate yourself.
“So this is your room?” Hoseok asks, bringing you out of your thoughts. You look towards him, watching as he steps closer to Ari, wrapping his arms around her to hug her, but to mainly see inside your room.
You chuckle, “Would you like to come in?”
He grins, glancing your way as he releases Ari and opens his arms for you to walk into. He wraps his arms around you as he hugs you tightly. “I’ve missed you, my second best friend.”
Rubbing his back, you giggle, “Me too.” Releasing your grip from one another, you step aside for Hoseok to enter your room and for Ari to close the door behind the three of you. “How was your vacation?”
“Amazing. Spent a lot of time with my love and my family. We went to Disneyland.” His focus is on the lights draped against the wall. “I should do this, but I don’t think Yoongi would like it,” he sighs, shaking his head.
“You went to Disneyland? Was it fun?” you ask him as he takes a seat on Ari’s bed.
“Hell yeah!” He snaps his fingers in realization. “That reminds me–I got you something while we were there.” Hopping off the bed, Hoseok jogs towards the door. “Be right back,” he calls, opening the door and exiting the room.
“Are you okay?” Ari asks.
You look to her and smile the best you can. “What luck.”
“I didn’t know they would be across from us,” she explains, looking at you with a worried look.
You shake your head. “I know,” you mumble and let out a sigh. “At least we won’t be hearing him when he’s alone with a girl,” you chuckle, but you only feel a sting in your chest.
Why couldn’t you be far away from him? Why is he always right there but never within your reach?
A knock comes at the door. Ari walks over to it and opens the door to reveal Hoseok standing on the other side with a sheepish smile on his face. “I left my ID and my phone inside.”
You laugh loudly, remembering the first day you met him a year ago.
Ari and Hoseok left about an hour ago, the two deciding to go out for dinner. You are currently waiting for Hanbin to come pick you up for your own dinner date he has planned for the two of you. As you double check to make sure your attempt at doing make up looks good enough, your phone rings, vibrating loudly on your desk.
Walking over to it from your little make up station at the sink, you see an unfamiliar number. You frown, picking up the phone and pressing the answer button, bringing it to your ear. “Hello?”
“Hello,” the disembodied voice begins, her tone light and customer service like, “I’m looking for Y/N. Is she available?”
You take a seat at your desk. “This is her,” you say, glancing at the clock on your desk. Hanbin should be here in twenty minutes.
“Hello, Y/N, my name is Allison from Sun’s Crossing. I’m calling to let you know you’ve been selected to join the summer internship program next year,” she informs you. She continues to talk, but you can’t hear anything besides the rapid beating of your heart. You got accepted. You’re going to be an intern for Sun’s Crossing in New York.
At the beginning of summer, you confessed to Hanbin about wanting to apply to be an intern but you felt as if you didn’t have enough to catch any company’s attention. Hanbin saw otherwise and pestered you for days to apply for a few internships “because you’re going to get into several and you gotta be prepared to pick the best one” as he put it. You were reluctant to apply because that would mean a year of not being with him–being separated, but that didn’t stop him from telling you to apply. He planned on taking an internship as well, but in California. The two of you will still be together and after it’s all over you two will be working your dream jobs and living in a nice little apartment. It gave you hope, and now that hope is coming true.
“I-I’m here,” you tell her, shaking your head of all thoughts of the dream coming true. “Can you repeat that?”
The woman chuckles on the other end. “We will be sending you more information on the internship and what is to be expected through email in the upcoming months. Congratulations again.”
“Thank you so much–goodbye,” you rush, hanging up the phone. You immediately start looking for Hanbin’s number when a knock interrupts your search. Placing your phone on the desk, you get up from your seat and make your way towards the door. When you turn the handle and pull, Hanbin stands on the other side panting. “Hanbin–”
“I got in,” he interrupts. He smiles widely as he repeats, “I got in, Y/N.”
You smile back. “I got in, too. We did it.” You watch as his eyes go wide before he rushes towards you, lifting you into the air as you giggle and the door closes.
When the door closes, everything happens rather quickly. A simple congratulations kiss ends up being more than that. Now your nails are digging into Hanbin’s bare back as he thrusts into you, him holding your complete weight as your back hits the door every now and then. You choke back a moan as he hits the right spot, your head hitting the door rather loudly as you feel your orgasm get closer.
“I’m close,” you rush in a whisper. You’ll never understand Hanbin’s strength, but he picks up his speed and thrusts into you faster and harder. He sends you over the edge before you could even cry a word. You moan lowly into his shoulder as he rides you out, his own euphoria coming soon after.
He holds you as the two of you pant heavily. “So much for a nice dinner,” he chuckles, the both of you leaning back to lock eyes. “You in the mood to just grab a burger? I’m guessing the restaurants are closing now.”
You let out an exhausted laugh. “Yeah.” He sets you down slowly, holding onto your waist as you get the feeling back in your legs before the two of you clean up, get dressed and head out for a very late dinner.
“Ugh,” Ari groans, running a hand through her short hair in frustration. “I’m done with school.”
“It’s barely the first day,” Hoseok states, taking a fry and popping it into his mouth. “You can’t be done when all we’ve had are introductions and go over the syllabus.”
“Because just listening to them talk about the syllabus and hearing all these assignments that are coming up too fast is already stressing me out. I just want to graduate already and be a forensic linguist!” She tosses her hands up in the air in defeat.
You shake your head. “We’re almost done. This is our last school year and then we’re off doing what we do best.”
“Yeah,” Hoseok agrees, placing his hand on his girlfriend’s back and rubbing it soothingly. “You’ll be yelling ”objection“ and I’ll be dancing in court to prove your point.” Ari laughs at his statement, earning a small relief from Hoseok as he takes another bite. It’s amazing how he knows her like the back of his own hand.
“We’re almost done,” she repeats, sitting up straight and finally digging into her plate of Chinese food.
After a few minutes go by of random conversations, Ari looks to you with curious eyes. She smirks. “Have you two said the three words yet?”
You almost choke on your chicken as you roughly swallow the chewed pieces. “Three words?”
“I love you,” Hoseok chimes, twisting the cap to your water bottle off and handing it to you.
You gratefully take the bottle and chug the water to wash down whatever got caught in your throat. “I haven’t,” you confess, twisting the cap back on.
“Do you feel like you’re ready for it?” Ari questions, taking another bite out of her food acting as if you weren’t just chocking on your food because of her. “Has he said it?”
You shake your head. “No he hasn’t said it yet.”
“But do you feel like you’re ready?” It’s Hoseok’s turn to ask, obviously interested in your unknown love life.
You’re quiet for a moment, thinking. Are you ready to say those words? You do have feelings for him, and it is something you’ve never felt before. So, are you ready to be the first one to say it? Are you ready to say those three words that can change someone’s life?
It’s scary–it really is, but–
“Yeah, I think I am ready,” you tell them, feeling your heart race.
The day goes on, the professors you meet today do the bare minimum. No one is ready to start the new semester with a lecture or homework just yet. So, as your final class of the day ends, you pack up your belongings and put them in your backpack. Several students are already saying goodbye to one another after having known each other for a while or just meeting now.
With everything put away, you slip on your backpack and make your way out of the room, meeting the warm, night sky. You follow a group of people making their way towards the bus stop. A few other classes had just finished as groups of people leave different rooms, all making their way in different directions. As you make your way across campus, there are a few students still scattered across the grounds, several students sitting at the tables close to the food court. Instead of following the group up towards the first bus stop close to the library, you head down towards the second bus stop closer to the Student Union building.
By the time you get to the second stop, you notice the shuttle’s back lights turning on. You speed walk towards the vehicle, just making it in time as the driver closes the doors. Showing your ID, you make your way towards an empty spot in the middle, taking the window seat. Pulling out your earphones from your backpack, you plug it into your phone and place the buds in your ears. As a song plays, you take in a deep breath. The conversation you had earlier with Ari and Hoseok comes to mind.
You’ll see him tomorrow during your small break between classes, and during that break you’ll tell him. Sure it’s not romantic or anything, but if you feel it, you’re supposed to just go for it right? You smack your palms against your warming cheeks. You’re nervous, but you can do it.
I can do it.
The following day you go through the usual introductions to the class, go over the syllabus, and leave for the day. As time gets closer and closer to you meeting Hanbin for lunch, your heart races and your nerves are on edge. When your professor says his goodbyes, you put your notebook and pencil away, and follow the group out the room. Checking your phone to make sure there were no other texts sent from him, you make your way towards the meeting spot where Hanbin should be waiting with your order from the Greek stand.
When you reach the outdoor seating area, your eyes scan the umbrella area, looking for a familiar face. Before you can unlock your phone and begin searching for your boyfriend’s contact name, you can hear him calling for you. You look around again and find him standing at the far back next to his reserved table. He waves when he notices your eyes are on him. You smile and make your way down the steps and towards him.
You’re going to do it.
This is it.
“Hey,” he says, beaming before leaning down and planting a kiss on your lips.
“I–” the words catch in your throat.
Chapter 19: 18
You lie in bed, staring up at the ceiling as the hum of the air conditioner fills the silence. The scenes play in your head over and over again. The first time you tried to say those three words to Hanbin. The second time you tried. The third time. Groaning, you turn to your side to face the wall. No matter how many times you try to say it, the words never leave past your lips. It’s like there’s glue in your throat, and the words can’t make it past the substance. It sucks and you’ve never felt so confused. Why can’t you say it? Do you not feel it yet?
Maybe you should wait until you know, but when do you know? When do you know that Hanbin is the love of your life? How does all this work?
You ponder for a while before giving up on trying to nap, so you get out of bed and make your way towards your desk, pulling out your textbook and notebook to work on your homework. Even as you try and focus on the question in front of you, your thoughts refuse to concentration on anything but the lingering question you don’t want to think about. You groan, shaking your head as you try and bring your attention back to the question you haven’t answered after staring at it for ten minutes.
“Focus, Y/N. Now is not the time to question your feelings,” you mumble to yourself, adjusting in your seat. Those thoughts don’t leave. It lingers and pesters, hovering at the back of your mind like a pest. You don’t hear the lock to the door unlocking, or Ari walk in and begin to talk when you toss your pencil in frustration and cry out, “I can’t say it.”
“Can’t say what?” Ari asks as the door closes behind her, the sound of her footsteps making its away across the room towards her desk.
“I can’t say ”I love you“ to Hanbin,” you confess, resting your forehead against the cool surface in front of you, homework long forgotten.
Ari’s quiet for a moment, taking in what you had just told her. “Maybe you don’t feel it yet?”
“That’s the thing,” you begin, sitting up and looking towards her, “I don’t think I’m ever going to love Hanbin like I hope I will.”
She frowns in confusion, cocking her head slightly to the side. “What do you mean?”
You avert your eyes as you reply, “No matter how hard I try and forget him, I can’t.”
“What I feel for Hanbin doesn’t compare to what I feel for Yoongi.” You finally look up to meet her somber expression. “And I hate that. I hate the fact that I can’t forget him.”
“What are you going to do?” she questions.
“What do you mean?”
She adjusts in her seat, draping one leg over the other. “If Yoongi stood in front of you right now, could you tell him what you can’t tell Hanbin?”
You open your mouth to give your response, but you say nothing. What you want to tell her doesn’t feel right, but what you really feel should not be what you’re feeling. You need to follow your head not your heart. However, your heart is louder than your thoughts, and as you open your mouth to answer, you feel at ease wanting to say it. “I–”
A knock at the door interrupts your answer. The knocks are quick and loud, desperate for someone to open the door so that the person behind the door can see you. Making your way towards the door, you grab the handle, twist and pull the door open. Hanbin stands on the other side, hair disheveled and out of breath.
“Hey,” he says, voice wheezy as his chest heaves.
“Are you okay?” you ask him, seeing drops of sweat fall from his temples.
“Let’s go on a walk?”
“A walk?” you ask with a frown. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
He nods, waving your question off with his hand. “You up for a walk? I gotta tell you something.”
You bite the inside of your cheeks before nodding. “Let me grab my phone and then we’ll go.” He nods, looking relieved that you agreed to go on this walk with him. Letting the door go as he holds it open, you walk towards your desk to grab your phone and bag containing your wallet and ID. You look to Ari. “I’ll be back,” you tell her. She nods in response as you turn back around and make your way out of your room, following Hanbin down the hall and towards the side exit. “Is everything okay?” you question again, leaving the building and make your way down the stairs.
When the two of you reach the ground floor, he takes your hand in his delicately as the two of you begin your walk out of the dorm parking lot and onto the sidewalk, down the slope and along the route the bus and shuttle takes heading towards campus. “Yeah, I just…” You feel him grip your hand. “I need to tell you something before you find out and you think of something different.”
You stop, forcing him to stop and face you. “What do you mean?” He looks at you with soft, confused eyes. “What happened?” you ask.
“Lynn transferred here,” he confesses, looking away in shame.
“Your ex?” He nods. You know Hanbin, and you know he would never cheat on you, but you know that Lynn is his first love–the girl he was torn about when they ended their relationship because doing long distance was hard. They didn’t end on bad terms. “How do you feel?”
“If I’m going to be honest… I’m confused.” He meets your gaze again. “I thought that since she’s on the other side of the world, I’d be fine and move on. I meet you and I feel like I can move on.” He hangs in head. “But then she shows up and it’s like those feelings never left, and the worst part is I’m fighting something I wish I wasn’t.”
You take his other hand in your free one, swallowing a lump in your throat. “If Lynn,” you begin, taking in a deep breath, “were standing here right now, would things make more sense?”
His eyes look hurt when you asked that. “Y/N–”
“That day at the bus stop,” you interrupt, shifting the weight in your legs, heart racing, “I was going to tell you something, but I couldn’t.”
“What was it?” he asks, voice soft and comforting.
You want to cry, and you almost do when your voice cracks as you say, “I wanted to tell you that I love you, but I couldn’t.” You attempt to clear you throat. “I don’t think I can say it.” You can’t stop the sob escaping past your lips, or the tears rolling down your cheeks. “I’m sorry, Hanbin,” you cry, releasing his hands as you wipe the tears away. “I’m trying so hard, but I can’t.” He takes you in his arms, holding you tight and close. “I’m sorry–I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, Y/N,” he comforts, rubbing his hand up and down your back.
You shake your head. “It’s not fine. I want to love you, but I cant,” you sob into his shoulder. “You’re perfect and everything someone could ever want, but I don’t feel that way–I keep thinking maybe if I wait longer, I’ll feel it, but I don’t want to drag you along if I never feel it.”
“Y/N,” he begins, holding you tighter, “I feel the same way.” You separate yourself from him just a bit, your eyes meeting. “I care for you, and I have feelings for you, but”–he releases his grip around you and cups your cheeks–“I don’t want to drag you either.”
“You’re still in love with Lynn,” you whisper.
You can see in his eyes that he looks hurt and conflicted. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’ve tried so hard to not fall back in love, but when I heard she was coming back the feelings lingered. Then when I saw her and it’s like those feelings never left.”
You shake your head, brushing your hand along his cheek as he let’s yours go. “She has your heart, and it’s not fair to stop you.”
His eyes glisten. “Who has your heart?” You’re quiet, afraid to answer because you’re not fully sure if he does. “Yoongi?”
Your eyes widen. “How…”
“The way you look at him and how you try so hard to avoid him, I figured he has yours in some way,” he replies, giving a small, sad smile. A smile you've never seen before. A smile that hurts you to look at. “Do you love him?”
It’s your turn to look away, head hanging. “I don’t know. I-I’ve had feelings for him for years, but I don’t know if it’s love.”
He lifts your head with his finger under your chin. “Well if he was right here, could you say it?”
There it is. The question asked for the second time today. When Ari asked you, you were sure of your answer. Now you’re confused–conflicted because you don’t know. You’re comparing Yoongi and Hanbin–comparing their personalities, attitudes and the little things they do differently. Hanbin is winning by a landslide, but you can’t say those three words to him. Can you say it to Yoongi?
“I-” You don’t know.
“Tell him how you feel, Y/N. Even if you don’t love him, it’s best to tell him what you feel because you’ll regret it if you don’t,” he tells you.
You can’t help but ask, “What does that mean for us?”
He smiles. This smile makes you cry. “You’ve made me so happy and I’m glad to have gotten to know you. You’re an amazing person, Y/N, and if Yoongi doesn’t see it, then he’s not worth it. Always know that you are beautiful and worth everything you don’t think you deserve. I hope you find your happiness.”
You choke back a sob as you reply, “I hope you find happiness, too. Lynn is a lucky person to have your heart.”
He chuckles. “I just hope something rekindles.”
You nod. “It will. She loves you, and I’m sure she’s waiting for you to go back to her.”
He wraps his arms around you once more and holds you tight as you cry in his arms. It’s after a few minutes that you finally stop crying and he releases you. “Want me to walk you back?”
You nod, taking his hand as you walk the short walk back to your dorm one last time. You can’t believe it’s over. This relationship that almost made it to one year is ending because your hearts don’t belong to each other. Why is life cruel? Why can’t you love him like you want to? Why are your feelings stronger for Yoongi? His heart doesn’t belong to you–he loves Sam. That cheater holds him close to her and you hate it. You hate feeling this way and not loving Hanbin.
This is crap.
The two of you stop at the gate of the dorms, holding each other’s hand tightly. “I love you, Y/N. I wish I could love you the way I want to.” He smiles, brushing his thumb along your skin.
You smile back. “I love you, too.” The two of you lean forward and press your lips against each other for the last time. Taking in the feeling and warmth he gives before the two of you separate.
“I’ll always be here if you need me,” he tells you, releasing your hand. You nod, watching him walk the way you two came from.
You want to cry, but you won’t. Instead you take in a deep breath and head towards your dorm. Out of everything you’ve experienced from this relationship, you’ll care and learn from it. Whatever happens next, you won’t let it be less than what you had with Hanbin. You won’t let anything push you around and make you feel small and scared.
When you unlock your door and enter the room, Ari is working at her desk, her body turning around to face you. She can see the red in your eyes as the door closes behind you. She gets to her feet and walks over towards you. “What happened?”
You smile as best you can. “We broke up.”
Her eyes widen in shock. Just like you, she wasn’t expecting that. “What? What happened within those thirty minutes?”
You shake your head. “I’ll explain later, but for now”–You stand straight–“is Hoseok in his room?”
“Yeah,” she answers. “Why?”
“I need to talk to Yoongi.” Turning around, you exit the room and walk across the hall where Yoongi and Hoseok’s room is.
“Holy shit, Y/N. Are you sure?” Ari asks, holding the door open as she stands in the doorway.
You knock on the door, heart racing. “It’s now or never.” You two wait for a few seconds in silence when the door opens to reveal Hoseok.
“Y/N,” he begins, smile wide until it fades, “are you okay?”
You ignore his question, asking, “Is Yoongi here?”
Hoseok shakes his head, glancing at Ari behind you. “He’s in the studio in the Music Building on campus,” he informs.
You give a simple nod, clutching your bag, double checking in your thoughts to make sure you have everything you need before running down the hall and out the building. “Good luck!” you can hear Ari call as the door closes and you jog down the steps, careful not to trip.
Reaching the ground floor, you see off into the distance the the shuttle taking off. “No,” you groan, picking up your speed until you reach the sidewalk. Looking to your left, you notice a familiar bus parked by a restaurant and bus stop. You walk to the bus stop a bit away to your right. You suppose you’ll have to wait for the bus driver to get off break and head to the stop you’re waiting at.
You take your phone out of your bag and pull up a map of the campus. Where is this building located? Is it close to the buildings you’re familiar with? Is it on the lower side of campus? After a minute of searching, you find the building’s location, just as the bus pulls to a stop in front of you. You pull out your bus card, climb in, and press your card to the scanner. When you hear the beeping sound, you take the first seat available.
You’re scared. You’re scared as the bus drives closer and closer to the campus, taking no stops to pick anyone up. Your heart is racing and your palms are beginning to sweat as you clutch your phone tightly. You can’t do this–this is so dumb. Yoongi will think you’re stupid and you’ll look like a complete idiot for telling him something you’re confused about.
What do you do? Do you go to him and do it anyway? Do you get off the bus and wait for the next one to take you back to your dorms? What are you going to do?
The bus comes to a stop at the second bus stop on campus. When did you get here so quickly? You stand up and wait for some of the students to find their seat before walking off. This is the stop closest to where his building is. Right now, after you cross the street, you can either continue down the path that’ll lead you to the lower level of campus, or wait for the shuttle or bus to take you back.
What are you going to do?
Go forward? Wait here?
What are you doing?
Pick. Pick, Y/N.
When the signal turns green for you to cross the small road, your feet are running. You’re running down the pathway and towards Yoongi. If you stop–if you let yourself think, you’ll back down. You’ll give up and go back never knowing what he’ll say. Even when it’s a denial, at least you know how he feels rather than guessing and being left in the dark.
When you finally find the building, your heart is racing. You wonder if it’s from running or because you’re scared. You can’t think about it. If you do, you’ll quit and leave, and you don’t want to go back not knowing. After asking for directions, you take the elevator to the fourth floor. You feel like you’re going to throw up as the doors open to the fourth floor, an opening before you where chairs and desks line the walls with a few students sitting and studying in silence. Taking in a deep breath as you step out of the elevator, you look left and right down the halls, both lined with doors of what you assumed are studio rooms.
You don’t know which side he’s on, so you start right and begin to read all the names currently occupying the room. Left and right you don’t find his name, and the closer you get to down the hall, the more you feel yourself wanting to give up. You’re going to take the fact that you went right instead of left as fate telling you not to do this. And so as you get closer the end of the hall, you’re accepting destiny faster than you thought you would. As the last two doors appear, you check both of them.
You almost trip from trying to turn around when you see his name. You really thought he wasn’t going to be down this hall, yet there’s his name. His name written in his handwriting plastered on the whiteboard next to the black door. You curse under you breath. He’s here. He’s on the other side of this door, waiting for you to spill your guts about everything.
You breathe, “Don’t think just go. Don’t think just go.” Shaking off your nerves, you walk towards the door, twist the knob open and enter the room. You really didn’t think before entering. You didn’t think about who could possibly be in here–if he’s alone. You didn’t think. But to your luck it’s just Yoongi who is currently standing at a table of equipment you don’t know well enough.
He’s looking at you as the door closes behind you, your breath uneven as you try and calm yourself. You can do this. You got this. “Oh good,” he begins, standing straight before gesturing to the window in front of him with his thumb, “I can’t tell if the mic in there is working. You mind going in there and testing it out for me?” You’re completely caught off guard, unsure as to what you should do. “Well?”
You jump a bit and walk down the small hall next to his desk and open the door to the small room where only a mic and stool is placed. Yoongi’s voice booms in the room you’re in, “Just go ahead and talk into the mic when I say.” You walk up to the microphone, moving the stool out of the way. Watching Yoongi as he works the equipment in front of him, you bring your hands together in fear and take in deep breaths. You don’t have to tell him–he doesn’t need to know the real reason you’re here. You can just come up with an excuse. Yoongi interrupts your thoughts, “Okay. Just start talking–”
“I love you.” Oh shit you said it. You can’t go back now, but you can’t meet his eyes either. You can do this. “I’m in love with you. I-I’ve been in love with you since we first met, and I know that love at first sight isn’t real, but it hit me so hard when I met you. I thought it was just a crush, but the longer I felt it, the bigger it grew. Then you agreed to help me, and it just grew bigger–I couldn’t even tell Hanbin I love him because I don’t. I hate myself for dragging him along when you were always on my mind, but through those months of being together, it made me realize how much I’m in love with you.” You take in a deep breath. “I love you, Yoongi, and I don’t expect anything out of this, but I just had to tell you because if I didn’t, it would eat me alive for not telling you.”
Your breath is shaky as you finally muster up the courage to look past the microphone and at him. He’s staring at you with a blank expression. You don’t know what he’s thinking and it scares you. You said you just wanted to tell him, and that’s all you need, but you can’t help but feel saddened by his expression. You watch as his hand goes the buttons in front of him. “I couldn’t hear you,” he begins over the speaker, “guess it’s broken. You can come out now.” There’s a click and the speakers are silent. Your heart drops and you want to cry so badly. You just spilled your guts and the speakers decide not to work? What kind of fate is this?
You exit the small room and walk into the open space where Yoongi messes with the gears. “What were you saying in there?” he asks, never looking up to look at you as he continues to push buttons and twist knobs.
You open your mouth, the words catching in your mouth. “Nothing,” you finally answer, voice low and quiet.
He hums. “Okay. Well I have work to do so you can leave.”
You can feel the tears prick the corner of your eyes as you give a small nod and turn to leave. Twisting the knob, you open the door and leave his room. You told him how you felt, and although he didn’t hear you, that counts as something right? You confessed and you know the answer. You can go back to your dorm and live your life happily.
Halfway down the hall, you spin on your heels and make your way back towards his room. You burst through the door again. Yoongi, with his hands resting on the table and head down, looks up and meets your gaze. The door closes behind you, again, and you speak, “I love you.” He rises slowly. “That’s what I said.” He’s silent and you’re not sure what to do, so you begin to repeat everything. “I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since we first met–”
“Shut up,” he says, tone gravelly. “What did you say?”
You swallow the lump in your throat as you repeat, “I love you.”
He looks away, eyes looking conflicted for the first time as he runs a hand through his hair. “Dammit,” he mutters before walking over to you with quick strides. You’re scared as he gets closer, and you’re taken aback when he cups your cheeks and crashes his lips to yours.
Chapter 20: 19
You lie in bed staring up at the ceiling as the tips of your fingers brush along your lips. You can’t stop the smile growing as you remember the kiss. How he brought his lips to yours, taking you by surprise for a moment before your eyes flutter to a close and feel his lips move along yours. It fits perfectly with yours; soft, warm and sending butterflies in your stomach. You felt the fireworks and the rapid beating of your heart—it’s completely different from Hanbin. You toss to your side, burying your face in your hands as you feel the blush creep along your cheeks. You love him. You told him confidently that day and you have no regrets.
So what does that mean for the two of you? Are you a couple? You thought the same thing with Hanbin, but it wasn’t until he asked you to be his girlfriend that you learned you two were just dating for a few weeks. Ari even told you that everyone starts dating to test the waters before they decide if they want to be official or not. So, you’re not a couple with Yoongi. Unless he has a different view on what official means and that kiss makes you a couple? But it also might not be that. Maybe it’ll only be a kiss and that’s it. You’ll never know what it’s like to date him and you’ll be alone the rest of your school year and find some old dude to be your lover because you’ve only loved Yoongi since then.
“Oh my God I’m scaring myself,” you mutter to yourself, sitting up. You have to talk to him. You have to ask him if what happened that day means something more to him like it does for you. Climbing out of bed, you slip on your shoes and step up to your door, hand outstretched towards the handle. But you can’t bring yourself to grasp it. Your hand idles, thoughts fighting against each other before you’re back in bed. “I’m not going. I’ll wait it out.” You’re under your cover, hiding from reality.
So much for thinking you’re a new person with so much confidence.
“You’re such a wimp.”
“I am not!” you defend, but you know she’s right. Ari is one hundred percent right today, but you don’t want to admit it out loud.
“Yes you are. Now grow a pair of bigger boobs and go ask him!” She shoves you towards the door, but her push is barely strong enough to nudge you.
It’s been almost a week since you had your kiss with Yoongi, and your last talk with him, too. He’s been unreachable—always at school or too busy to even give Hoseok the time of day. You’re thinking it’s because he has an important assignment coming up, but then you’re also thinking he’s having second thoughts about the kiss. He never said anything to you that day after the kiss. He told you he needed to focus on his work and you left. Nothing was said. Nothing is ever said when it comes to him.
Why do you like him again?
“I’ll do it later,” you whine, stomping your feet like a child as you climb into bed instead.
You can see her staring daggers at you as she stands in the middle of the room with her arms crossed over her chest. You can see she’s thinking of something, but you don’t know what. Finally, she says, “You have a week to talk to him. If you don’t, I’ll go over there and ask him myself.” You can’t help but open your mouth in shock. Did she really just— “Got it?” she says, rather than asks. Groaning, you toss your blanket off you and slide off your bed, grabbing your backpack on your desk chair and slip on your shoes. “Where are you going?” she asks as you turn the handle to open the door.
“To study on campus,” you half yell, opening the door, heading out of the room.
You’re about halfway down the hall when you hear your dorm room close and open again with Ari yelling, “You better not forget what I said!”
No words are said from you as you push the side door open and head down the flight of stairs. You almost trip from the frustration Ari gave you, but you catch yourself and take careful strides down the rest of the steps. No one is really outside today—no one is heading towards the bus stop to take the fifteen minute drive towards campus. Maybe you’ll have time to calm down in the shuttle and prepare yourself for a test that’s weeks away.
You just needed to get out of the room and away from Ari’s unnecessary glares. Reaching the sidewalk, the shuttle has just pulled to a stop. It seems like you’ll have to wait fifteen or thirty minutes before the vehicle will take you to the campus. As the doors open, a few people exit the large, white bus—one of them being Yoongi who notices you immediately. You can feel your heartbeat quicken, the butterflies fluttering in your stomach in an instant. You don’t understand how he can cause such chaos within you, but he does it every time you see him. You can imagine the kiss so clearly. His soft lips brushing along yours, thumbs running across your skin leaving a hot trail behind.
He’s looking at you expectantly as the rest of the passengers leave along with the driver towards the buildings. It’s not as obvious for you as it is for him, but you realize your mouth is open as if you’re going to say something. Your body betrays you rather quickly before your brain can even comprehend what you’re doing. Yet, he continues to wait there for a few more seconds before he turns his attention ahead of him and he starts towards his room.
“Um,” you begin, seeing him stop in your peripheral, “I was wondering…” Wow you’re struggling. Where did all that confidence you had when he kissed you go? Where is the ‘don’t think just do’ motto go? Swallowing the lump in your throat, you turn to face him. “What are we exactly.” Okay. You said it. Now the ball is in his court.
He’s staring at you with a look you can never read, eyes blankly staring and mouth set tightly. Is what you thought about earlier really true? Was it just testing out the waters? Does he not like you? Why are you always right?
“What do you want us to be?” he asks.
You blink once. Twice. Just trying to comprehend what he just said and double checking with yourself to make sure what you heard is right. “What?” you ask, not wanting to answer just in case you did hear wrong.
He takes several steps towards you until he’s a few inches away, his cedar wood cologne invading your senses as he repeats himself, his warm minty breath fanning your face, “What do you want us to be?”
Okay he’s close. He’s super close. You can see the flecks of light brown swimming in his darker brown colored eyes. Taking in a deep breath, you answer, “I want to be more than what we are.” You said it. You did it—oh God you said it. What’s he going to say?
“Friends?” is his response to your statement.
Is he testing you? Is that what he thinks you mean? You shake your head nevertheless. “More than friends,” you mumble, feeling smaller than you did when you first opened your mouth.
He watches you. Searching for something you don’t know of. You can’t help but squirm, eyes shooting down to his black shirt as he looks at you for a moment. Finally, he answers, “Okay.” Your gaze is back to his again, shock clearly visible on your face. “If that’s what you want,” he adds.
“Is that what you want?” you ask him.
He hums in response before he slowly leans in. Your breath catches in your throat as you see him get closer and closer before you close your eyes and wait. You’re going to kiss him again. You’re going to feel his warm, soft lips against your own— “The bus is coming,” he mumbles, and your eyes shoot open, head quickly turning to look behind you. The bus has its left blinker on as it slowly gets onto the road. You’re quickly running past him, never saying your ‘goodbyes’ as you run as fast as you can to the stop before the bus drives past it. To your luck, you make it before the bus does. As quickly as possible, you dig through your backpack for your bus pass as the bus driver notices you and pulls over and comes to a stop in front of you.
The doors open and you smile gratefully as you step onto the bus. “Hello,” you tell him, taking in a deep breath after running the short distance suddenly. He greets you as you press your card to the scanner, hearing the satisfied beep, and make your way down the aisle and take the window seat just in front of the second door at the center of the bus. You’re putting your card back into your backpack when you hear the scanner go off, indicating that another person barely made it. The bus jerks forward as you zip your backpack up and someone sits next to you.
You look at the figure in surprise and realize it’s Yoongi. He settles into his seat, eyes forward as the bus skips the second stop, turning right onto the first cross. “Let’s go on a date,” he says, finally turning his attention on you. He looks so calm when he said it while it’s most likely clear that you’re in complete shock. “What do you have to do today?” he asks.
“I…um"—you swallow the lump in your throat—"I’m going to fill in my study guide for my test in a few weeks,” you answer, hiding your hands under your backpack to clutch the straps tightly. Your heart is racing so hard right now.
“Let’s go on a date after.”
“I don’t know how long it’ll take for me to finish…”
“I’ll wait,” he replies as he looks ahead, seemingly not wanting to hear any more excuses.
For the rest of the ride you’re lost in your thoughts on the entire scenario that played out within the last ten minutes. You try to hide the smile playing on your face, so you look out the window. The ride towards school is a quick one, only one stop was made before it comes to a stop at the final destination on campus and you follow Yoongi off the bus, walking out the door behind you.
You let out a shaky breath, trying to calm your excitement as you cross the small road and head towards the library entrance. The two of you are walking side by side down the pathway until you finally reach the building entrance. The outdoor seating is empty as Yoongi opens the glass door for you to enter first. You shyly thank him and enter inside. Pressing your hand to your chest, you feel the beating of your heart as if Yoongi being a gentleman is foreign to you. He’s done it before, but now it’s real in a sense. It’s not practice for you like it was before—it’s genuine. Yoongi is back at your side, and reaching the elevator lobby, you enter the stairwell and head down the stairs to the lower level study area.
Yoongi follows in tow, walking quietly as the two of you enter the rather empty room and you take the table under the skylight where the sun shines through the clouds and trees. Taking a seat, you try your best to hide the blush creeping when Yoongi sits next to you. And so, you try your best to focus on your study guide while Yoongi messes with his phone.
It’s been a few hours when you finally finish answering all the questions. You put the guide away in your notebook, close it as well as your textbook and finally turn to Yoongi. He has one hand outstretched before him while the other is tucked under his head as he sleeps. You’re lost in awe as you admire his beauty. He looks so peaceful; lips slightly parted, the tips of his jet black hair lie along his eyelids, and you can faintly see his back rise and fall with each breath he takes.
Your heart swells and you can’t help but raise a hand and let your fingers brush the strands of his hair away from his eyes. His hair is softer than you thought it would be. Your hand lingers in his hair, brushing the strands away further back from his face before his eyes slowly open. Your hand is immediately back at your side, the color to your cheeks turning pink as you try and pretend you’re just packing up rather than stare at him for a few minutes.
From your peripheral you can see Yoongi slowly sit up, stretching his arms before rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Are you done?” he asks, voice croaky and gravelly.
“Y-yeah.” You stutter, packing everything into your backpack. You’re clearly not looking calm with a few papers falling from the stack as you’re trying to put it in your binder, or your zipper getting stuck when you try to open your backpack, or even your hair continuously falling into your face no matter how many times you push it back, but either he doesn’t notice or he’s pretending not to. “Uh.” You clear your throat. “Did you still want to…”
“You hungry?” he asks, saving you the struggle of trying to finish your sentence. You hum in response, letting out a quiet breath. It’s hard to play off like you’re not internally panicking. He rises to his feet, and you do the same, holding your bag in one hand. “Let’s go eat,” he voices, pushing his chair in and waits for you to follow before the two of you head upstairs.
As you step out into the crisp, Saturday afternoon air, the once blue sky is gone and replaced with gray clouds. You slip your arms through the straps of your backpack as you put it on, attention turning to Yoongi as he tells you, “Let’s have sushi.” You agree, already imagining the taste of the rolls you’re going to consume as the two of you head in the direction of the food court. Yoongi walks alongside you, the two of you walking in a comfortable silence. It’s something you’re not used to in all honesty. He usually walks ahead when the two of you go somewhere together, and the rest of the time you’re trying your best to keep up. Now, however, he’s keeping at your pace and it makes your chest flutter and a smile trying desperately to appear on your face. You’ve never felt so happy and nervous at the same time.
Reaching the food court, you see a few people sitting scattered at the tables working on their assignments or chatting with their friends. You follow Yoongi towards the Japanese stand where the line is empty. When you reach the register, the man smiles and asks, “What would you like to order?” Yoongi says his order then looks towards you. After a few blinks of confusion, you realize he wants you to add your order in as well. Telling the man your order, he totals up and takes Yoongi’s card who had it out already before you could even dig in your backpack for yours.
You find a table at the corner of the building, isolated from everyone else. You take a seat against the wall while he takes the chair across from you. “You’re nervous,” he comments after a few seconds of silence. You open your mouth to answer, yet nothing is said. You close your mouth and look away in embarrassment. You finally have him, but you can’t help but feel like you don’t. That this could all be a dream. “Are you having second thoughts?”
You shake your head, suddenly all the words spilling, “I want to be with you. I just never expected for it to happen and I’m just…a mess.”
He watches you for a second before saying, “Okay.” His name is called and he leaves to retrieve your food.
While the two of you eat, no words were really said. You can’t think of anything to say, and Yoongi seems to be distracted with his food. It takes about halfway being done with your plate that he finally strikes up a conversation. Sadly it’s about your summer, so you had to do a lot of dodging when it came to Hanbin. Would he get jealous? Angry? Will he ask what happened between the two of you? You’re not sure, but you’re not going to find out right now.
During his summer, Yoongi tells you he spent most of his time working at his shop, mastering his producing skills, and hanging out with Hoseok when they’re both free. “A simple summer,” he explains, placing a roll in his mouth.
When the two of you finish, you feel satisfied and happier to have spent a calming date with Yoongi. You remember the last time he took you out on one—well a practice one, but the two of you argued and the whole date was ruined. This one’s real, and so much better than any date you’ve been on. Throwing your box in the trash, you head out the building only to be met with heavy rain. You stand under the awning with the rain pouring and the campus empty as far as the eye can see. Yoongi sighs, “Guess we’re running.” Turning to look at him, he does the same before his hand grabs yours and pulls you out from under the awning, the two of you running.
You cut through the Psychology building, getting a bit of protection from the rain before you’re running along the road towards the bus stop. You try your best to shield your eyes from the rain, but nothing you do helps, so you rely on Yoongi to lead the way. Your legs are burning by the time you reach the bus stop, the two of you hiding under the bus shelter with heavy breaths. Looking around you notice that no one is around. You’re guessing everyone left before the rain hit while you were oblivious to the possibility of it coming. You should have brought an umbrella or—
Yoongi cups your cheeks softly, bringing your attention to him. Looking at him you take in his features. The tips of his hair stick to his forehead, drops of water fall from it, his mouth slightly parted as his pants become lesser. No matter how he looks, he will always take your breath away.
“I want to know that when I wake up tomorrow, I can see you and hold you without thinking this is a dream. I want to be more than friends, too.”
You’d think you would have so much to say from his confession, but nothing comes to mind. So, you repeat what he said hours ago when you told him what you wanted, “Okay.” You’re surprised, and it may be evident on your face as you watch his eyes dart from side to side as if he’s searching for something you don’t know. You try your best to let him know that you want this, that you want to be with him more than anything, and you can only hope it gets through to him. It seems like it does as his eyes stop searching and he’s looking at you with a calm, confident look as he leans in, eyes closing and his lips gently press to yours.
Your eyes come to a close as you kiss him back, feeling that unfamiliar, yet wonderful sensation you felt when he kissed you the first time—the fireworks, the dozens of butterflies swarming your stomach, and your heart racing faster than when Hanbin kissed you for the first time. Warmth over takes the cold as your lips brush along with familiarity, as if the two of you kissed a thousand times before. You want to enjoy the kiss for as long as you can, but he pulls back lightly, his warm breath blanketing your lips. Opening your eyes, you can see his soft gaze staring at you for a brief second before he kisses you one more time as the sound of a vehicle comes to a stop in front of you.
You feel like you’re on cloud nine, like nothing in this world could break you down right now. The feeling of his kiss lingers on your lips, and you want nothing more than to lean forward and kiss him again. You just want to be lost in his lips.
As the two of you separate from one another, the shuttle doors open and the two of you quickly get in. Taking a seat at the back, you sit next to the window and Yoongi beside you, taking your hand in his as he settles further into his seat and closes his eyes.
You’ve never enjoyed a bus ride as much as you do right now, feeling his thumb brush along your skin as the driver comes and goes at the next two stops, no one else enters the shuttle. The rain continues to pour from outside, creating small puddles on certain parts of the street with cars zooming over them and creating a splash. Music is playing over the speaker, a faint soothing song against the overpowering rain and cars zooming by.
A while later the shuttle comes to a stop in front of the entrance to your dorm building, Yoongi’s eyes open and he gets up from his seat, your hand still in his as he leads you out of the vehicle. You thank the driver before the two of you are running across the parking lot and up the flight of stairs to the second floor door. You hide from the rain as Yoongi fishes out from his pocket his ID and presses it to the scanner. A beep is heard and he opens the door, letting you enter first.
Walking down the hallway, you stop at your door, turning to Yoongi. He tucks your hair back behind your ear as he instructs, “Go get warm before you catch a cold.” You nod. “I’ll see you later.”
As he turns to enter his room you grab his hand. He turns back around. “We’re a couple,” you say, your statement not sounding like a question like you wanted. He nods in response. “You’re my boyfriend,” you mutter, nervous for his answer.
He chuckles, a smile you’ve never seen before appearing on his face. You forget how to breathe as you stare in awe at his simple yet bright smile. “I am.” He steps forward and places a kiss on your forehead. “Go inside,” he tells you, and you let his hand go and do as instructed. Pressing your ID to the scanner, he whispers, “Goodnight.” and you enter your room, the biggest smile on your face with cheeks as flushed as they can be.
Ari drops everything she’s doing and listens to you as you tell her about the greatest date of your life.