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Nobody - Ouran High School Host Club

Chapter Text

 

 


00

 

Prologue


 

 

 

" My God, I'm so lonely,

so I open the window,

to hear sounds of people -

to hear sounds of people

 

Venus, planet of love, was destroyed by global warming -

did it's people want too much, too?

did it's people want too much?

 

And I don't want your pity,

I just want somebody near me -

guess I'm a coward -

I just want to feel alright

 

And I know no one will save me,

I just need someone to kiss -

give me one good honest kiss and I'll be alright "

 

 

 

-nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody, oh, nobody

 

 

 

DISCLAIMERS:

This book will have female as well as male love interests.

The song "Nobody" belongs to Mitski.

I do not own ouran high school host club or any of its characters or plot. I only own the plot of this book and the MC.

This work is cross-posted to Quotev.

Chapter Text


 

EDITED ✓

 

01

 

Lost and Found


 

 

In front of the doors, she stood still among the crowd of flowing students. The first day of school, it's cold, the sun shines meekly through winters wind, that of which rushes the teenagers into school - bidding them good day.

 

In the middle of the fading waves of students, a girl fiddled nervously with her sweater sleeve - she stood out like a sore thumb; in her rose pink sweater and black jeans, surrounded by bright lemon gowns and blue suits; she bit the inside of her cheek.

 

Regardless of her anxiousness, she swallowed her fear, gripping her worn out messenger bag with clenched fists. It's now or never - because if she bailed now, after all the paperwork, and all the preparations, and all the time both she and her mother invested, she wouldn't be able to show her face here ever again. It was then, in front of the large, extravagantly over the top double doors, that she took her first steps into the school that was once distant in her dreams; Ouran Academy.

 

It was a beautiful place, she thought, even more so than the pictures on the website portrayed. It was an impossibly large place, with the huge fields surrounding it, the smooth pavement walkways to the different entrances and the gardens, to the gates that circled the property. It made her feel small, being engulfed by such architecture and design.

 

She couldn't wait to visit the gardens in spring.

 

Inside the halls, the pitter patter of footsteps echoed off the tall walls, painted pristinely, and the ceiling that seemed higher than the sky. The chit chat of students somehow eased her, as she caught snippets of “how are you”s, and “it’s good to see you're doing well”s were exchanged. They sounded like normal people, which, honestly, she felt silly for not expecting. Rich people are, in fact, people. That comforts her for an odd reason.

 

While looking at a guide she was given, she left in the supposed direction of her new classroom, hoping she doesn't get lost in this maze of a school.

 

 

- nobody -

 

 

Great. Amazing. Good going, (Y/N).

 

Lost, is just what she had become. Though, really, who could blame her? All the halls look the same, it seemed they stretched for miles and miles - unending hallways of doom, is what she'd come to call them. All the classes are in session, so nobody's roaming the halls but herself; she's late for class, and is short of breath from running from door to door, already on the third floor, and she can't find her classroom. A nightmare come true.

 

Then, she heard footsteps. A hopeful flutter rose in her chest.

 

Turning towards the sound, a boy walked down the hallway - tall, jet black hair, styled pristinely and smoothly; not a strand out of place. He seemed to be looking through a notebook as he walked, holding maybe two or three of them under his arm, his glasses glaring from the light that welcomed it's way through the window.

 

"Um, excuse me.."

 

Her fear of missing her first class overcame that of talking to the unfamiliar male. Her hand went to tap the collarbone of hers that peeked out from the neckline of the sweater, a nervous habit she had.

 

His head lifted, notebook snapping shut - he examined the girl. Now only ten feet away, she saw the steely gray of his eyes and the flecks of brown that peeked through. His head tilted, a curious frown adorned his lips as he questioned, "Yes? Who may you be?"

 

"I'm, uh-" the stutter on her tongue made her cringe, "I'm the new transfer student, who got the scholarship. I got myself lost while trying to find my class," she exhaled shakily, cursing herself for stumbling over her words.

 

"Ah," he nodded in understanding, "I see. And you need help to your class?"

 

"Yes! I mean, if you don't mind." Stepping closer, she showed him the paper she's been grasping - all crinkled up from her grip.

 

"That's class 3-B, on the second floor. From the stairway, it should only be a few doors or so down."

 

Oh my god. I totally missed it.

 

"Oh! Thank you!" A shy smile graced her lips as she stepped back, turning towards the stairs and took off running - almost slipping in the process.

 

The male watched her retreating form curiously.

 

 

- nobody -

 

 

One embarrassingly late entry, an annoyed teacher, and a few profuse apologies later, she was settled almost in the middle of the room, surrounded by students who scribbled notes furiously in their notebooks - well, except one girl, who was asleep by the window.

 

The teacher droned on, and she, bored, doodled in her dollar store notebook. Light pencil lines taking form of random flowers, clouds, eyes, anything that her pencil wanted, she let it do.

 

After class ended and the teacher left, the students packed their things and began shuffling along; sitting on desks, making small talk, pairing up to go to classrooms together, the like. Since she was looking out the window, copying the birds perched on the branch of a bare cherry blossom tree in her notebook, she saw the once sleeping girl wipe her eyes and yawn - grabbing her bag and heading out with a lazy drag to her step.

 

Right as the door had closed behind her, only did the girl realize; she left her notebook laying on the desk.

 

She closed her own, haphazardly tossing her items into her bag, walking over and grabbing the brightly colored thing in her hand. I should probably go give this to her , she thought, and she went to open the door to do just that, but the unnamed girl was out of sight.

 

Maybe she'll be in another one of my classes. Besides, this is only the first one. Hopefully i'll be able to give this back soon.

 

 

- nobody -

 

 

The day, unexpectedly, seemed to flow by quickly. She was able to find the rest of her classes relatively easily, and thankfully so, with the help of a few kind teachers. The sun, now, was much lower in the sky, as late afternoon had settled in at the order of the clocks hand. The winter breeze had taken the clouds across the sky, to who knows where, leaving the endless blue clear as crystal.

 

In the corner of her eye, she caught that familiar head of burgundy turn a corner, so she turned to followed after. That had to be her; the one who'd forgotten her notebook, that is.

 

There was a lot of people going this way, she noticed - girls with excited grins, the loud chattering and large crowd made it hard to catch up to the clueless girl.

 

"Hey! 'Scuse me! You forgot this! Um, excuse me!"

 

It was no use. The echoing of everyone's conversations made it hard for anyone to hear, or be heard - especially with the meek voice she was using. She just decided to follow the crowd, hoping she would get a chance to return what was lost.

 

They approached a pair of large doors, intricate engravings and swirls decorating it. the talk then became squeals as they opened, the bright overhead lights momentarily blinding, as flower petals flew out in a rush of warm air gracefully.

 

What the hell?

 

Seven males stood, charming smiles adorning their handsome features, the middle ones hands outstretched in a grand gesture. His voice, light and welcoming, only stirred up even more excitement.

 

"Welcome, ladies! to the Ouran High School Host Club!"

 

Host club? What on earth ?

 

The excited greetings and squeals of the girls cut off her thoughts, as she stood in bewilderment. They all went in, in bunches at a time, then were led off by one of the males and sat at tables, with tea, cakes, sandwiches, you name it - what was this, speed dating?

 

As she stood outside the door, brows furrowed in confusion, the lost notebook was held tightly in her grasp. She was unsure of just what it is that she should do. she saw the girl, through the doors now propped open, by the far left to the room by the wide window - with two other girls, and... Twins? Boyfriends? Wait, what-

 

"Don’t be shy, princess,"

 

Her free hand was lifted and taken into the palm of another; who then lead her into the room gingerly. The tall blond kissed her knuckles, peering at her confused and shy expression through his long lashes. Violet eyes met with her own starstruck ones.

 

A deer in headlights is what she reminded him of.

 

He lowered her hand, keeping hold of it, "princess?"

 

She snapped out of her frozen state, as a garden of pink bloomed on her cheeks, both shy and unbelievably anxious. "M- uh, me? Oh, um..."

 

The blond grinned kindly at her timidness; releasing her hand, to place his pointer finger under her chin to raise her lowered head - forcing their eyes to meet once again. "No need to be shy," her breath hitched, too close to him for comfort, "who are you here to see, princess?"

 

He's already called her princess three times, now. She couldn't be any more uncomfortable.

 

"N-no," her head shook, and the males hand fell to his side, head tilting in confusion. "I just followed someone here so I could return a notebook they lost... I, I'm not here to see anyone."

 

Her eyes searched, and landed on just the girl she was looking for; and without a second thought, only desperate to escape this awkward situation she found herself in, she jogged towards the girl and let out a shaky breath. Tamaki stood, left even more confused than anything else.

 

Unbeknownst to herself, a tall boy with glasses watched her curiously from his spot at a table; eyebrows raised, causing some of his customers to question his unusual actions.

 

"Excuse me!" She slowed to a stop, tapping the girl on the shoulder, and the two... Twins? Yes, twins, paused what they were doing to both quirk a brow at her interruption. She bowed her head, explaining herself, "I'm so sorry to intrude, but you left your notebook in class earlier this morning."

 

The girl let out a sound of surprise, and thanked her for returning it. She hadn't even known she was missing it.

 

"Kaoru, who's this?" One deviously smirked, throwing his arm over the shoulders of his other half. "I don't know, Hikaru. The new scholarship student, perhaps?" A matching smirk, that, for some reason, made her stomach drop as she tried to slowly back away from the devilish twins.

 

Her back collided with a tray, hot liquid and broken tea cups clattering on the floor along with the clang of the tray hitting marble.

 

"Oh, gosh! Are you okay, miss?"

 

She quickly turned around, face red, as she had gotten the attention of the rooms occupants, curious gazes burning into her like fire. Her skin itched with embarrassment.

 

"Oh, oh my gods! I'm so sorry! Here, let me clean it up.." She dropped to her knees with a thud, picking up shards of broken porcelain, the design of flowers and delicate gold now nothing but trash of what they once were. The guilt she felt was suffocating.

 

The male, a bit shorter, with large hazel eyes and chocolate hair, kneeled down to help, a polite smile on his face as he assured her it was alright. Another, who she assumed to be, host kneeled down with a few napkins and a broom in hand, a stoic face kept as he helped clean.

 

After the mess was dealt with, all eyes remained on her; she didn't know what to do. Her face was hot with hues of red - she fiddled with her fingers, unsure of what to say.

 

"Hey, isn't that the commoner who won the scholarship recently?" A girl spoke. A hum of “ohhs,” washed over the room, and with that, chatter started rolling in.

 

"Ohh, I heard that she won through an art program!", and "she couldn't even afford a uniform?", and "she's so clumsy. I wonder what she thinks she's doing here."

 

This, though, made a certain blond beam. New opportunities to learn about commoners and their way of life was something he always welcomed, and it was that very thought that he had while he walked up to the girl, who seemed to be caving in on herself in this moment.

 

Kyoya decided to talk to her about how she'll pay them back for the broken teacups later. She's flustered enough as it is, he supposed.

 

"Ah, yes! A commoner! Tell me, How-"

 

"Uhm, I, I'm sorry! I have to go!"

 

One deep bow and a fast spoken apology later, she sprinted out of the room, down the hall, and down flights of stairs. She sprinted the way home, that day - overwhelmed out of her mind - trying to outrun her anxious feelings.

 

Tamaki stood, a mischievous smile on his face.

 

(maybe those shady twins have rubbed off on him, after all.)

 

 

- nobody -

 

 

The club room, now emptied of customers, was lit only by the light that danced its way through the window as the hosts sat, gathered around, beckoned by the king himself.

 

Kyoya sighed at his dear friends antics.

 

"Guys, I really think we should leave her alone. She obviously didn't mean to come here in the first place, so, senpai, let's just let her be." Haruhi, bless her, felt this odd need to stick up for the girl; having been in just her situation before, she understood, she did - though, she also understood Tamaki's unyielding curiosity and need to befriend literally everyone. She sweatdropped as she silently apologized to the new girl in advance.

 

Tamaki stood from his seat on the couch, mouth opening, ready to state his claim - but of course, the twins beat him to it.

 

"Now, now, Haruhi," Kaoru's airy voice started, "she caused such a scene. And broke our brand new tea cups!" Hikaru continued, then both chimed "she has to do something about this," shrugging nonchalantly in sync.

 

"Ah, yes, that commoner ruined our fine china. It's only natural we have her pay us back, correct?" Kyoya added, adjusting his glasses smartly; sparing a glance at the sulking Tamaki, who's crouched on the floor with a pout. "I'll make sure I see to it."

 

And just like that, Tamaki's mood did a 180, as he jumped up and propped his head in his hand - eyes sparkling with something akin to excitement. "Yes! She does have to pay us back after all," he flicked his blond hair with his index finger, "and besides, I'm curious as to who the new commoner is. Kyoya, do you know?"

 

"Well, from the records I've read through, her name is (L/N) (F/N). She's here on a scholarship, her studies focusing on the arts," with cool confidence he spoke, collected as ever, as he skimmed through the documents pulled up on his laptop.

 

"Oh! So (N/N)-chan's an art student?" Honey chimed. His curiosity spiked, wondering of what her works would look like. He hugged usa-chan to his chest tightly, perched on Mori's shoulders.

 

"It appears so. Actually, I ran into her on the 3rd floor hallway this morning, she was late, running through the halls searching for her classroom. She seems a bit... Scattered, to say the least," his laptop closed with a snap, then he placed it away in his carry on. "I will talk to her tomorrow." He added, exasperatedly.

 

"Actually, Kyoya," Tamaki added, voice soft and confident, "bring her to the host room to discuss the matter. I want to chat with her myself, as well." Kyoya withholds a sigh, nodding his head at the leader.

 

"Alright, hosts! Meeting adjourned!"

 

Haruhi, unlike Kyoya, sighed heavily. Tomorrow was going to be another eventful day.

 

 

- nobody -

 

 

Home, finally home.

 

Kicking her vans off, she walked into the small apartment. A bit messy, with a few cups on the coffee table and loose papers and letters that was scattered over the surface - a basket of socks sat on the couch, waiting to be put away.

 

She ignored all that, and crashed in her room with a grunt of relief. Changing into more comfortable clothes, she made her way to the kitchen, and peered out the small window by the sink, letting the fiery oranges and inky blues of the on-coming night sky give her comfort. The cold water from the faucet chilled her hands, then she went to work making her mother lunch for work tomorrow. She'll probably be asleep before the woman returns, so she thought she might as well go ahead and prepare it.

 

The apartment, quiet, save for the drying machine that hums and bumps every now and then, was warm. Her cat was curled up on her pillow, her garden box sat at the window sill looked happy and full of life, if not for the few browning leaves here and there. The crystals sat on her nightstand contentedly, the carpet under her feet welcomed her - she was glad to be home.

 

She lied on her bed, her head beside the sleeping feline on the side of it, who started purring at her arrival.

 

She fell asleep, on top of the blankets, to the sound of the cars driving by, her noisy drying machine, and the purr of her cat.

 

The moon bid her goodnight from outside the window.

 

 

- nobody -

 

 

At least today, she didn't get lost again; she made sure to memorize her classes and what floors they were on, so when lunch came around this time, she knew exactly where to go, thankfully.

 

Today she wore a muted yellow sweatshirt and light washed jeans rolled up a few times at her ankles, making a clear effort to not stick out so much in the sea of yellow and blue - feet clad in the same worn out vans she always wore.

 

The lunch hall buzzed with chatter, students happily munching on their overpriced trays of food, gathered in their little cliques. She looked around the large room for a moment, then went and settled at an empty table, close to the exit, and pulled out a small lunch bag. Inside was a peanut butter sandwich she threw together hurriedly this morning, along with a small bag of pretzels and a bottle of strawberry milk.

 

The slight shake of her cold hands made it a bit difficult to open the milk bottle, but when she finally managed to open it, she gulped.

 

Forgot to drink water this morning, oops.

 

Squeals suddenly erupted from all around the cafeteria, making the girl jump, almost spilling the flavored drink - looking towards the door, she saw just what she expected to see;

 

Those boys from yesterday. She wondered, just what is it about them that everybody gets so excited for? Why're they such a big deal? Well, yeah, they're handsome, but honestly, what else are they? Playboys? She just wanted to eat her lunch in peace-

 

Someone cleared their throat from the other side of her, "Excuse me, (Y/N)?" She turned to face them - oh! It's the boy from the hallway. She gave a small smile.

 

"Oh! Hello. Yeah?"

 

"Allow me to introduce myself," she felt the stares of multiple others on her, and to be perfectly honest, it made her skin crawl. How does he know her name, anyway?

 

"I'm Ootori Kyoya, the manager of the Host Club."

 

...Oh. Oh shit. Her eyes widened.

 

"I believe you were there yesterday, correct?" The way he spoke, cooly, confidently and like he was better than herself - she didn't like it one bit. She nodded reluctantly.

 

"So I'll presume you know why i’m here," another nod. "you're responsible for breaking property of the club, you see, so I'll have to ask you to replace what was lost."

 

Her heart dropped. From what she could tell of the broken pieces of porcelain on the floor yesterday, it looked expensive. There’s no way she could afford to replace it. She has bills to pay, food to buy.

 

"I'll now ask you to come to the club room, Music room 3, to discuss on how the damage will be paid after school ends. Is this alright with you?" His glasses glinted in the light, the polite smile on his face did nothing to comfort her - chills grew on her arms.

 

She nodded again, tongue refusing to cooperate.

 

"Alright, well, we'll see you then, miss (Y/N)." And with that, he struts away - she glared at his retreating back.

 

She felt as if she'd just seen the devil. Why? Maybe it was how businessman-like he was, his mask of politeness didn't set right with her - felt as if the male in front of her wasn't really there, if that makes any sense. As if conversing with a mannequin.

 

She shook her head, and sighed at her loss of appetite. Maybe she'll go ahead and go to her next classroom.

 

Haruhi glanced at her with understanding.

 

 

- nobody -

 

 

She stared out the window at the end of the hallway, in front of the dreaded host club doors. Outside the sun hung low, barely managing to shine through the clouds that covered sky; no birds were seen, as the first few raindrops tapped on the window.

 

I can’t avoid this for forever. Let's go.

 

With a moment of false bravery, she opened the door and peeked around the crack - to see all the hosts lounging and conversing among themselves.

 

The one she bumped into the other day, Haruhi, is what she'd heard them call him, wore a deadpan expression as the tall blond was chasing the twins around the room, who cackled as they ran. A shorter blond was sat with a very tall male at a table, sharing vanilla cake with a smile on his face. Well, the tall one was hard to read, but the blond looked pretty happy. Then there was Ootori - sitting at a table with his laptop perched open, tapping away, a concentrated frown rests on his features.

 

Gulping down the nervous lump in her throat, she spoke in a timid voice; "excuse me... I was asked to come here,"

 

All the hosts stopped what they were doing and looked to the girl, standing in the doorway with a nervous flush on her face.

 

The shorter blond verbally awww ed at the sight, swallowing his mouthful of cake and skipping towards the girl. "You must be (Y/N)-chan, right?"

 

She nodded.

 

"Oh! Welcome, sit down. Haruhi, be a dear and go get this lady some coffee!" Haruhi growled at Tamaki under her breath, these damn rich people.

 

She cracked a small smile at that, "No! No, it's fine. You don’t have to. Uhm," she walked deeper into the room, eyes exploring the empty space. Her eyes, once again, met pools of warm violet; she averted her gaze quickly. He frowned.

 

"Actually, Ootori asked me to come here," said male smirked, closing his device, "also, while I'm here," she paused to bow, looks of confusion played across the expressions of the hosts, "I wanted to apologize for breaking the tea set. I'm not sure how I could repay you, but-"

 

A warm hand on her shoulder, standing her up right interrupted her apologetic rambling - it was that boy again. I still don’t know his name, do I?

 

"Fear not, dear commoner, don’t worry about the tea cups! I just wanted to talk to you abou-"

 

Suddenly, two pairs of hands pried the obnoxious male away from her, arms linked over each others shoulders as he flopped on the ground dramatically behind them. She raised her eyebrows.

 

"You know, those tea sets are expensive,"

 

"We got them imported all the way from Scotland, you know? It’s a shame they were broken,"

 

The smirks on the two auburn's faces made her stomach drop.

 

"Guys, stop scaring her," Haruhi interrupted their little charade, smiling sympathetically at the girl in front of her. "Don't worry, (Y/N). We'll figure something out, don’t let these two dimwits get to you," she sent a quick glare at said dimwits, and the girl instantly felt relieved. Haruhi was comforting to talk to, so her nerves were eased.

 

"Yes, indeed we will," ah, there he is, the man of the night: Mr. Businessman. She turned her head towards him, who slowly walked over to where she stood with Haruhi and the twins. "Now, either you can pay us back, or, you could help around the club for awhile, until you've settled your debt."

 

"Helping out as in washing dishes, fetching groceries, making the food, and the likes. Not hard tasks."

 

She frowned. That wasn't good. She has a part time job to work at, there is literally no time for after school housekeeping.

 

"Are you sure there isn't anything else I could do? I could pay it off, but it would take a few months.." She trailed off, thinking in silence for a moment. If she put a little of her paycheck up each week, it would only take 3-4 months to pay it off. But she really, really needs that extra cash. "I work after school most days, so I don’t really have time to stay after classes. Um.. Maybe I could come in early each morning instead to do the chores? Would that be okay?"

 

Kyoya listened carefully, nodding as she spoke. Where do commoners get the time to work like that? And attend school?

 

"Yes, I suppose that would be okay. I'll have a to-do list made. Oh, you'll need keys to get in early. I can get those made soon. When shall you start?"

 

Tamaki didn't like any of what he was hearing. He quickly wondered how Kyoya could make the girl come in early after knowing she had to work after school. His compassionate heart got the better of him in that moment, a frown present on his handsome features as he stepped next to his friend and placed a hand on his shoulder.

 

"But you have to work after school, right, (Y/N)? Are you really okay with coming in so early?"

 

She froze for a moment. Why was he pitying her? She's only repaying a debt. She clenched her jaw for a moment, breathed in, and attempted to relax. He waited for her answer.

 

In all honesty, no. She's gonna be dead tired by the time she has to work, but what options does she have? She's already made up her mind. It'll only be for a little while that she'll be doing this. Only for a few months. Then it'll be over, just like that. It'll be over soon.

 

With newfound determination, she met Kyoya's steely eyes with a smile - at which his eyes widened for only a moment at. He smirked at her.

 

"Yes, I'm sure. Thank you for the concern, but I need to repay this debt." She answered Tamaki, not taking her eyes off Kyoya's. She treated this as a challenge - and Kyoya was more than amused, to say the least.

 

Haruhi was shaking her head at the whole ordeal.

 

"I can start next week. Is that alright with you, Ootori?" And just like that, she averted her eyes again. Back into the socially awkward hunch of her shoulders, she sighed softly.

 

"Yes, that's quite alright."

 

And with that, the girl had been thrown into a completely different world; one that would rip her away from her shell and into the world of the eccentric Host Club.

Chapter Text


 EDITED 

 

02

 

Windows to the Soul


 

 

The school is so peaceful at sunrise.

 

Walking down the empty halls of ouran academy, the tired female got to soak in it’s quiet beauty; the soft yellows and pinks of the early morning sun lied beautifully on the white of the large window sills, casting everything in shades of pinks. She smiled softly to herself.

 

Tired as she may be, the sight of the clear sky, the stars still dotted sparsely across the expanse, she couldn’t help but feel in awe of it’s effortlessness; the red cardinals that floated in the air bid her good morning. Her light footsteps echoed down the hallway, along with the song she was humming as she walked.

 

Opening the door to the host club, she pulled all the curtains back and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, admiring the now bright turquoise of the sky before walking into the kitchen area - where a mountain of dirty dishes awaited her. She sighed at the sight, pulling on the blue rubber gloves that was left out for her - along with a grocery list from Kyoya - and got to work.

 

She decided that, maybe, it wouldn’t be as bad doing this as she thought it'd be. If its always this serene, maybe she'll even come a bit earlier so she can just sit and watch the sunrise from the roof; she'd heard that there was a garden up there, but, she doubted that any of the plants would be in bloom at this time of year.

 

"(Y/N)?"

 

Her daydreaming came to a halt at the sound of a warm voice, honey like in it’s sticky sweet nature. She stopped the water and turned, removing the gloves and rolling down the sleeves of the dusty light blue mock-neck she was wearing, and peered at the male who somehow made it all the way to the kitchen without making a sound.

 

For some reason, her voice was soft - as if not to disturb the wistful feeling of the chilled air. "Oh, Tamaki, right? What are you doing here so early this morning?"

 

The male beamed when she said his name, a smile playing on his lips as he fully entered the room - the door closing with a soft click behind him. He took few steps nearer, and she noticed how sleepy he looked - and how the natural light that flooded the room made him glow, the golden of his messy hair nearly blinded her by how it shined. His eyes were smiling, warm in just what they were, in what they are; shimmers of blues and reds and violets made his iris the most beautiful shade of plum.

 

She noticed herself staring, and his smile growing - blushing, she averted her gaze towards the window. Tamaki kept his eyes on her.

 

The girls (S/C) skin seemed to sparkle in the light - the small acne scar on her face was highlighted, and oddly enough, he found it cute, how it sat on the apple of her cheek. The rich (E/C) of her iris’ was hidden from him by her bashfulness, but he found himself drawn to her, wanting to just look, to just see, because she keeps hiding herself away behind her eyelids and hunched shoulders - it was then, in that moment that he realized he wants to witness the beauty that hid herself away.

 

He realised he'd been silent, and a slight blush dusted his cheeks. "I just wanted to make sure you found everything okay, and to see if you needed help with anything. I mean, since it is your first day and all!"

 

The still air began to dance with Tamaki's words; his breath twirling with the  once stagnant atmosphere.

 

For some reason, his words touched her. Maybe it was because she's tired, or just in a sentimental mood, but she found herself thinking of how kind he was for going out of his way for something so small like that. She slipped into a smile with ease.

 

He beamed once again; like a puppy who got a treat.

 

"Aww, you didn't have to do that. Thank you, though. I'm just finishing up the dishes, then I planned to go get the ingredients at lunch break since the shops aren't open right now."

 

Tamaki frowned, "then when are you going to eat?" He placed his hands on his hips, scolding the girl, "a lady can’t skip her meals,"

 

"Well, this lady can and will ," she replied - a playful grin adorning her features; in truth, she was just going to drink some milk on the way, and she was fine with it. She can eat later. Maybe it was the blessing of the sun that made her relax in his presence.

 

Though, he was persistent. "At least make yourself something when you come to put the groceries away."

 

She sighed, nodding hesitantly, "that’s okay, right? Like, I won’t have to pay for it?"

 

"Nope! Don’t worry about it. You have to eat well if you expect to be our errand girl, after all!"

 

There he goes, hiding away behind his obnoxious front again.

 

"Okay. But, we should be getting to class, now. Don’t wanna be late,"

 

Tamaki nodded, and opened the door for the girl - who scrambled out quickly - a thank you falling from her lips.

 

 

- nobody -

 

 

For some reason, she couldn't stop thinking about those eyes of plum; how they looked in the sun, how bright and warm they were. How kind they seemed. But, then again, maybe she's reading in too much of what they really were - merely eyes. She often read people well, purely out of either boredom or of curiosity - or sometimes, just because she felt drawn to them, just like she did in that moment, bathed in the beams of light through the open window.

 

The teacher was going in depth of color schemes and how different colors have been used, what they’ve signified throughout history.

 

purple, the color of royalty, ambiguity, wealth and magic.

 

In her sketchbook, beside the little coloms of notes she'd bothered taking, she began sketching the eyes of a male who'd managed to edge his way into the front of her usual fleeting thoughts. Unusual , is the word she settled on describing him as, with his obnoxiously over the top personality and his rose colored view of life. She'd only known Tamaki for a little over a week, and yet he's already charmed his way into her subconscious.

 

Maybe she can understand why all those girls seem head-over-heels for him, now - though, she's nowhere near that yet. Just, sketching a few pictures of his eyes, of his lips. Nothing more.

 

 

- nobody -

 

 

By the time lunch break rolled around, plenty more than just a few pages in her sketchbook was full of drawings of him, and none of them she was satisfied by. None of them reflected what she saw in them perfectly, and she's scared she'll forget if she doesn't have something to remember it by.

 

Pulling the grocery list out from the back pocket of her black jeans, she headed out to the shops with a head full of cotton; mind too busy floating around the stars to be considered conscious.

 

The shops weren't as busy as she imagined they'd be; only a few people mingling  around, much like herself. Tossing items one by one into the basket that hung on the crook of her arm, she thought of how bizarre it was for her to be doing this - doing errands for a host club, lest one made up of men she barely knew.

 

What were the chances of meeting them like the way she did? If they'd met a different way, she wondered if they would've even bothered to talk to someone as invisible as herself - because from her assumptions, people like them have no interest in wilting wallflowers like her.

 

It was lonely, feeling like nothing more than gum stuck to the bottom of peoples shoes.

 

Checking out the abnormal amount of overpriced groceries, she sighed as she speed walked her way back to the large campus of Ouran, promising herself a sandwich once she returns.

 

 

- nobody -

 

 

On the counter, haphazardly sat paper bags with a note in messy handwriting;

 

 

hi hosts,

sorry about the mess. ill come put these away + clean up after the guests etc. after classes end. i was running a bit late today :)

-(Y/N)

 

 

Kyoya's clenched jaw relaxed at the for a moment while reading the small note. He stuffed it in his pocket with half a mind, and went to help prepare everything before their guests arrive - Haruhi preparing the tea and coffee, as well as pulling the premade sandwiches made by their new helper out of the fridge to place on plates, along with different kinds of cake, hand picked by Mitsukuni himself.

 

Haruhi was thankful for the new found speed of getting prepared, she now not having to stay late after school to make what seems like hundreds of sandwiches - the brunette still cringes thinking about the cramps she'd always get in her fingers afterwards.

 

Cracking her knuckles with a sigh, Haruhi made her way out to position herself for the opening of the doors; welcoming the ladies in an over dramatic fashion as always. She really couldn't bring herself to dislike what she was doing - even if she used to attempt to convince herself otherwise, she rather liked getting to see the smiles on the girls faces, and getting to spend time with her unlikely bunch of friends made her warm inside - even if it was a bit awkward for the introverted girl. She charmed her guests, making them swoon, just as usual.

 

It felt like time had flown by before the guests had bid their goodbyes, and (Y/N) peeked her head through the door, eyes landing on the other females chocolate hues. "Hi, (Y/N)-san."

 

The meek girl smiled small at the greeting, walking her way into the room, messenger bag slung over her shoulder and hair now pulled out of her face with a bobby pin on the top of her head.

 

"Hello Haruhi-san. I'm just here to help with clean up-"

 

"(N/N)-chan~!" She stumbled at the force of the impact of the 3rd year, arms locked around her waist in a tight hold, Honey's grinning face shining up at the startled girl. "Um, hi, senpai."

 

Haruhi chuckled at the sight, finding the timid nature of (Y/N) clashing with the clingy-as-ever Honey, amusing.

 

"Oh, Look who's here!" Tamaki's loud voice played off the walls, still as chirpy as ever - he took long strides towards the girl, still tied up in her elders embrace.

 

The host club was almost empty, save for the aforementioned blonds, the silent Takashi, Kyoya, who was in the back room going through the host’s profits today, and Haruhi, who mingled about with nothing better to do.

 

Well, maybe they wanted to get to see their little errand girl - not that they'd say that out loud, at least.

 

Honey squeezed her one last time, before letting go and trotting back over to Mori, who only mumbled his name in response. She was tense at the contact, it being unexpected; and understandably so, because a greeting like that for anyone who didn’t know Honey would be weird. She brushed it off as something she'd just have to get used to.

 

"Our dear little kitten, you've come to visit me, haven't you?"

 

"So, (Y/N), do you want me to stay and help with clean up? I don’t have anything to do, so..." Haruhi trailed off, more as a statement, honestly, as she started wiping down tables.

 

"Um, okay! Thanks, Haruhi-san.." She paused, glancing over at the sulking Tamaki, who was being laughed at by Honey who sat happily in Mori's arms - what a strange bunch.

 

After retreating the necessities, and bidding Mori and Honey a quick goodbye - kendo practice , mumbled the stoic with a nod of his head. he had a voice as deep as the ocean itself, she noticed, thick and dark blue, lulling itself through his chest. It was comforting to her, to say the least.

 

And that left the two girls, busying themselves with small tasks, and Tamaki, who, oddly enough, sat and observed them; his typically expressional features unreadable from the sparse glances the questioning girl was able to give him. Haruhi seemed happy enough, nonchalant smile on her pretty face as she packed up, sending a wave towards the girl cutely.

 

"Um, Tamaki-Senpai?"

 

Said male jumped at that, snapping his head towards the soft voice; "what're you still doing here? Haruhi just finished up and tried to bid goodbye, but you didn't even hear her."

 

His eyebrows shot up - did he really not? He glanced around the now vacant room, not spotting his princess anywhere - only (Y/N), who awkwardly hovered by the armrest of the couch.

 

It wasn't quite sunset yet, but the dandelion yellows that began to leak into the blue hues of the sky served as its near coming. She noticed how innocent he looked when caught off guard.

 

Her inquiring stare made him feel vulnerable - in his mind he grasped at something, anything, to turn the focus back onto the girl beside him - he wasn't use to being the one flustered; something in her stare felt like it was boring into him, picking apart his brain and looking into his soul, it made chills raise on his arms and pink to grow on his porcelain cheeks.

 

On the other hand, she did this completely unintentionally; she was taking in as much of his eyes as she could possibly manage, caught up in her own need to know what lurked within those eyes of his, reading into him like a book she couldn't get enough of.

 

It was only the two of them, in an empty room flooded by the waltzing sunlight of late afternoon - but if you looked closely enough, felt deeply enough - you could see the array of colors that spilled themselves all over the walls, floor and high ceiling, being covered in the clashing of the beginnings of something new, something beautiful.

 

It was the flooding of warmth on a cold winters day.

 

It overwhelmed the both of them.

 

"D-Did I?"

 

"Yeah. Uh,"

 

A beat of silence.

 

"I have to hurry to my shift, so.. I'll see you tomorrow?"

 

"Ye-Yeah! I'll see you tomorrow. Good luck at work! Get home safe, Princess."

 

The door closed gently after her leave, and Tamaki was left alone in her aftermath.

 

Firstly, he gave himself a pat on the back for picking himself up at the end of their small conversation - secondly, he couldn't help but to feel like he just emerged from the under belly of the sea.

 

The piercing gravity of her gaze lingered with him the rest of the day.

 

 

- nobody -

 

 

"Hello! Did you find everything okay?"

 

"Yes, I did."

 

"That's good! Your total will be $27.93. Thank you, come again!"

 

That was, what seemed like, the millionth time she'd had that exact exchange. people came and went, some more troublesome than others - she had a lady in line, arms full of books, and a purse full of expired coupons, demanding every single one of them be applied - but other than those few bad apples, it was a pretty normal day at the bookstore. her coworker, Daiki, was out sick today so she offered to take his shift, which he was ever grateful for; that's why she's working so late tonight, having to close up shop and ride the 11 o'clock train, which she was dreading to do.

 

the cute barista who worked in the Starbucks at the far side of the store, a foreigner from Germany with a name she couldn't even begin to pronounce, gave her a sympathetic smile as she clocked out and went home or the day. (Y/N) sighed, propping her head up on the counter.

 

Her manager chuckled, "Me too, kiddo."

 

He was a man in his mid 50's, with graying hair and the beginnings of crows feet forming around his eyes; he had a kind looking face, and it just lit up when talking about his favorite book and movies - all of which were in black and white. of course, she would know, having had an internship, then being hired when she was of legal age; she’s been here for what felt like her whole life.

 

The extroverted man has always been kind to her, passing the time by talking fondly of his daughter, who is now in college, and his husband, who's come to visit work a few times, bringing his spouse his forgotten lunches or to bring staff his specialty homemade cookies - which everyone absolutely adored.

 

In all honesty, he was like a father to the girl. he would comfort her when she was caught crying in the breakroom - which has happened more than a few times - and he knew best of her home situation and life in general, offering advice and listening to her talk. she'd even given him a few drawings that she made for him, and he'd hung them up on his fridge at home. he made her feel safe, and loved - just like a father should.

 

"Long day at school?"

 

"Yeah,” she sighed out, “you know that club that I owe? the one I was telling you about? I had to go like 2 hours earlier to wash dishes and stuff. I swear I've been awake for too long."

 

The older nodded, taking a sip out of his water bottle. "And at lunch I had to go get groceries. The whole list cost like, 3 paychecks worth of stuff. It was insane,"

 

He snorted at that. "so they gotcha on dish duty? And how long are ya gonna have to to this, again?"

 

"Um, this whole semester, I'm pretty sure. I don’t know how expensive those teacups were, but goddamn."

 

"Language, missy."

 

She rolled her eyes, genuine smile on her lips, "okay, dad." He also cracked a smile.

 

"Why don't you go 'head and go home, alright? Like you said, you've been awake too long. Don't want ya going crazy on me,"

 

Her eyes widened a bit, at the offer, but it was tempting. She felt her body disintegrating from the inside, and with all the coffee's she had this shift, it's not surprising. Her hands shook with a caffeine overdose, and every movement of her body felt like she was wading through water.

 

After that moment of contemplation, she nodded. "Okay. I'll see you day after, okay, old man?"

 

"Sure thing, (Y/N). Get home safely, okay? You got that pepper spray I gave ya?"

 

She smiled at his concern, "don't worry, I always keep it in my bag. I'll make sure to text you when I get home." he had gotten it for her one shift when she was talking about being followed one night on her way home, by a creepy man she didn’t know, and he had been worried sick for her - said he’d beat him up if he ever saw the bastard - she had only laughed fondly at his kindness.

 

"Okay. Have a goodnight, now." he said, patting her shoulder.

 

She nodded, "You too."

 

 

- nobody -

 

 

12:02 am

 

 

Quietly, she moved through the house, peeking her head in the mother’s room to see her resting peacefully. She then turned back to go the the bathroom just down the hallway, washing her face and changing into the freshly washed fuzzy pajamas she's been excited to wear. Throwing herself into bed, it was an amazing feeling that washed over her - crawling under the blankets and wiggling her toes in efforts to warm up - she was sure that she'd be able to sleep well tonight.

 

 

2:17 am

 

 

And how wrong, she was. Hours of tossing and turning, her cat jumping on and off her bed constantly, flicking his tail in her face and howling just for the fun of it. She sighed heavily; everytime her eyes closed, the image of Tamaki, bathed in the golden light of morning, sleepy plum eyes and lips pulled up in a grin, just wouldn't go away. The colors of him wouldn’t leave her mind, no matter what else she tried to think about.

 

Her cat sat on the window sill, wading his sleek grey tail through the air, staring at her as she rubbed her eyes frustratedly.

 

 

4:10 am

 

 

Eraser shavings stuck to her sweater.

 

Pages and pages, the fronts and backs filled with attempts to get it right. Attempts to immortalize a moment that’s already dead - it's faded memories windswept in her sketchbook.

 

She was embarrassed by her failures.

 

 

5:57 am

 

 

Already, it was time to leave - to make sandwiches for that stupid host club and those stupid boys and their stupid guests - well, she didn't really feel that way - but rather, it was the lack of sleep that made her hate, well, most things. Already walking her way to school in clothes that she felt unsatisfied with wearing; the same pair of light washed jeans from days before, and a black sweatshirt she pulled over a cropped tank top, only because she was too lazy to take it off before hand.

 

She ate a hearty breakfast, consisting off a glass of almond milk - forgotten her lunch in the fridge at home, and only had 2 dollars, her sketch book and a squished fortune cookie in the bottom of her bag for the day. No pencils. No notebooks. Nothing.

 

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment, feeling the cold hands of winter holding her own; as if trying to comfort her.

 

She let it.

 

 

- nobody -

 

 

After the meals were made, wrapped up nicely in overpriced decorative napkins and sat in the fridge, she was winded by the effort. With half an hours time remaining until she needed to get seated in a classroom, the tired girl chose to sit on a chair at a table nearby the large windows that overlooked the campus; a fountain surrounded by patches of yellow grass sat pretty in her view, the cloudy periwinkle sky draped itself in the background gracefully.

 

She kicked off her old vans and pulled her legs up in a criss-cross position on the chair, stretching her arms and torso out on the cold tabletop with a huff. Her cheek was squished on her upper arm, drowsy eyes losing their ability to focus; her eyelids closed heavily, as her breathing turned soft and rhythmic - she couldn’t help but to bask in the filtered sunlight that fought through the cracks of the blankets of tear filled clouds.

 

She slept.

 

 

- nobody -

 

 

"Awwww (N/N)-chan is so cute when she's sleeping!"

 

"Shhh Honey-senpai! You'll wake her up!"

 

"Yeah, who would've thought she could look so peaceful,"

 

"Isn't Princess (Y/N) so adorable!? Quick, someone get a photo!"

 

What's going on?..

 

The sleeping girl stirred, causing everyone to pause, holding their breath.

 

She let out a yawn, scrunching her nose, and peeked one of her (E/C) eyes open, to the sight of the entire host club staring straight at her.

 

Her eyebrows knitted, still in a fuzzy, dream-like state, not processing anything at all. She scrunched her nose again.

 

The click of a camera could be heard, along with familiar mischievous giggles - that turned into hard laughing at the face she pulled.

 

It was priceless.

 

She sat up quickly, lips parting and wide eyes - face red as rose, all the way to the tips of her ears.

 

Even Mori let out a short laugh at that.

 

"What.. What- what time is it? How long have I been asleep for?"

 

Kyoya, with that ever present smirk plastered on his face, checked his watch, "I believe it's 4:41."

 

"I.. I don't.."

 

The girl groaned, letting her head fall on the back of her hands, brushing off the feeling of watchful eyes felt on her back for the time being.

 

A hand landed itself on her shoulder.

 

"C'mon, (Y/N). You obviously needed the rest, so don't be too upset about it."

 

The girl sighed, fallen head rising from her hands as she gazed at the auburn boy, who smiled sympathetically at her through long eyelashes - one of the twins, though she couldn't be sure of which one it was; if she had to guess, just by his thin voice, maybe it was Kaoru?

 

She nodded, sitting up right in her chair, "yeah, I guess you're right. Thank you.. Kaoru?" It was more of a question than a statement, but it was confirmed as soon as she saw his widened eyes and shocked smile - I got it right!

 

She smiled, then cringed at the tightness of her muscles from being hunched over the table for so long.

 

She missed how Hikaru gave her a skeptical glare from aside.

 

"You okay, (Y/N)?"

 

She only gave a silent nod to the worried twin, rolling her head, unfurling her legs and stretching deeply - her knees popping at the action - and stood up, now looking around the room with her mind alert. It was then that she noticed Hikaru's stern gaze, a camera held loosely in his grip; they made eye contact, sharply and only for a second, for the both of them to snap their heads the other way - as if they were stubborn children.

 

"Just a bit stiff is all. Wait, weren't you guys gonna have guests coming in today? What happened?"

 

"Tamaki decided to cancel, and, in his own words, 'let the princess sleep,'. " Kyoya replied.

 

Said male lit up red, hand raising to cover his mouth as he avoided eye contact, "Kyoya, I thought we agreed to not mention that..."

 

The ravenette smirked, "I remember no such deal."

 

(Y/N) blushed lightly, sparing a look or two at the reddened male, awkwardly shifting in her spot. "Well, uh, I should probably head home,"

 

She slowly made her way across the room, biting her lip in an anxious habit.

 

"I like your socks, (N/N)-chan!"

 

... What?

 

Looking down, the feeling of horror that enveloped her was unexplainable.

 

She had forgotten to put her shoes back on, and there on her feet, were her pink sailor moon socks, on display for all to see, bright against the white marble floor.

 

Quickly she jumped over towards the table, hastily shoving her shoes on her feet and running back towards the door all in the span of 10 seconds - the lighthearted, teasing laughter of the hosts was all too much for her right now.

 

"Uh, bye guys, see you!"

 

It seems, nearly every time she leaves that room, she's running away.

 

Tamaki and Kaoru both smiled fondly at the girls clumsy nature - while her absence left nothing but wary skepticism in Hikaru's mind.

 

Kyoya was left asking, to nobody in particular, "That girl, what are we to do with her?"

 

 

- nobody -

 

 

"Hikaru, what's wrong?"

 

"It's nothing, just... That girl. She rubs me the wrong way."

 

Kaoru quirked a brow at his brother, "Who, (Y/N)? Why?"

 

"I don't know. Doesn't she seem a bit.."

 

"A bit what?"

 

Hikaru huffed, averting his eyes towards the passing scenery outside the window of the limo they rode in - red velvet seats and mini T.V.'s hung on the back of the headrests in front of them. The yellowing grass and dead flower bushes passed by in flurries, clouds being left behind in the sky, the low hanging sun chasing after them.

 

"Slow, maybe? Dumb?"

 

"What makes you say that?"

 

"The way she acts, constantly embarrassed or running away. Like she's scared of us, or something."

 

The younger of the two furrowed his brows, thinking for a moment.

 

"And that makes you think she's dumb...?"

 

Hikaru huffed again, scratching the side of his head, "No. I mean yes. I mean, I don't know. It's been over a week since she's known us, right? By now even Haruhi was comfortable with everyone. I just don't understand why she still acts so weird around us."

 

Ah. It clicked for Kaoru.

 

"You can't compare everyone to Haruhi, You know. She'll warm up to everyone soon, she just needs time,"

 

Haruhi was the first person he ever let have a look inside - the first person he let care for him other than Kaoru - so it's natural that he compares everyone to her. She's what he's used to, he knows her, he’s comfortable with her; he knows nothing and nobody else.

 

Hikaru wants to befriend the shy girl, but he doesn't know how to - just as she doesn't know how to let herself be befriended.

 

Kaoru, then, makes it his mission to make her open up to them - because he knows, better than anyone else, how lonely it is to be trapped inside your own world.

 

 

- nobody -

 

 

The clouds of yesterday hung heavily in the atmosphere, blanketing the moon and her stars, as tears of the gods and goddesses alike puddled on the ground. Yellow street lights were dimly lit along the sidewalk, pieces of stray plastic caught in the downwards flow of the rain water stream, disappearing under the rusted drains that sat dirty on the side of the road.

 

In her hands, was a cup of hot chocolate - warming her cold fingers through the brick red mug - staring out into the black of night through the curtains tied up from her spot, sitting on the floor. Her cat nudged the back of her head from behind her shoulders, jumping from the bed she leaned against to her lap with grace. The feline’s green eyes peered into her own, then flopping down and curling himself up on her legs.

 

She remained still, eyes glassy and distant, as if looking, but not seeing . There were no thoughts, not a pathway for her mind to walk on; she floats, lost and alone, in the void of her consciousness; searching for something she doesn’t even know is there. It is in the blanks of her pages that she turns to, trying to read, and read again, the words that aren’t there - that never was in the first place.

 

She is hollow.

 

Beyond her skin, behind her ribcage and somewhere in the depths of her heart lies that of a canvas which hasn’t been touched - an expanse of colorless nothing, frozen in the ice of time that never seems to melt - monochrome in its emptiness. It froze her from the inside out, for inside she was nothing but a cowering child at the hands of a world whose people were as merciless as they were unforgiving, even when staring into the faces of the helpless.

 

One thing she knows for certain is, that hell isn’t made of lava, nor of the raging fires of satan himself; but of a desolate void, where the ice freezes even your words before they have a chance to leave your mouth. Hell is where the abandoned go to weep tears of frost, to let the arms of a grand nothingness envelope them in a cold embrace of loss.

 

It was only when she choked on a sob did she noticed there were tears running down her face.

 

Sitting her now cold drink on the floor, she wiped her face with her sleeves - biting her tongue until it felt as numb as she did.

 

Even though she felt alone, the clouds listened to her cries; they, too, floated along, inevitably though an unending sky, together they shared the same nothingness.

 

Together, they cried.

Chapter Text

hi everyone!! i am SO sorry i haven't updated - to be perfectly honesty i haven't been very motivated lately but i've just read all of your lovely comments and let me tell you how much they mean to me. you all are so kind. i'm so glad you all decided to read this story even if its been an ungodly amount of time since i've updated and how slow the plot has been moving.

 

and also, my phone got stolen ahaha (i am dead inside) so like, ALL of my drafts for this story got snagged along with it. so that kind of,,, sucks hhhh. i cant say when this story will be updated again but it will be updated, i promise.

 

i've found a co author! thank you so much LT for helping out!!

 

again, you all are too kind to me. i'm not a great writer, but seeing that you all like this story so much really brightens my day. i have about half of the next chapter written and i'm excited to finish and post it, really. i'm excited to see the characters development. im planning to make this story a personal one of growth and what it means to develop healthy, happy relationships - which is a hard thing to do, especially in teenage years. (i'd know, trust me ksdjghakd)

 

and now, here's a sneak peak of next chapter!!

 

She felt like crying; nobody was supposed to see that.

 

"What are you all doing?"

 

None other than the king himself asked, taking long strides towards the twins - Hikaru couldn't get enough of this. For one reason or another, he felt deep down in his stomach, acid that bit at him from the inside; but on his tongue was the sweet taste of hells fire and he would deal with the burning of his conscience later.

 

"Seems like you have another fan, boss! Look at this,"

 

Though, the girl wouldn't give up that easily. She jumped up once again, eyes glaring holes through the auburns head, and a shiver crawled up his spine. He almost considered giving it back. Almost.

 

Tamaki was there now, and it felt like everything was in slow motion for her. Yeah, maybe she's being dramatic, but she can't help it. This is private, and special to her; not to mention how embarrassed she'll be if he sees it.

 

(Y/N) disregards how she's now chest to chest with Hikaru Hitachiin, and how pink dusts his cheeks as his eyes slant down at her own ones in a silent declaration of war; the tips of her toes kiss the marble of Ourans floors as she leans against the much, much taller male in effort to get back whats rightfully hers - but he only stretches his arm out further, now completely ignoring everyone elses presence in the now emptying room.

 

In this moment, nothing matters to either of them. There is nothing else but each other and the mutual feelings of a bloody red.

Chapter Text

03

 

 

Forget-me-not Blue

 


 

 

 

Weeks had passed, and the daffodils began to bloom, welcoming spring into season that April.

 

(Y/N) was excited, even if things were barely starting to come to life. The early spring flowers had arrived, and that meant the butterflies and bees would start dancing around again, and the cherry blossoms would bloom, and everything would be alight with new life and begin the new year with vibrancy. She couldn't wait until she was able to walk through Ouran's gardens that would be full of roses and lavender and dandelions.

 

It seemed that the entire school shared her excitement, as the whole campus was vibrating with excitement and joy. The colors seemed brighter and the sky seemed clearer and the spring air was crisp and clean, brushing it's hands through the trees that were budding with new leaves and fruits.

 

All was well that day. (Y/N) got to spend time with her mother that morning before she had to run off to work, managed to remember all of her school supplies, and even got to finish her makeup on time; she was wearing one of her favorite outfits, a cherry wood brown turtleneck and a pleated plaid skirt, paired with the dirty vans she always wore.

 

She stayed late yesterday to make the food beforehand instead of going in early that morning, so she managed to get two extra hours of sleep, and felt relatively rested.

 

She decided that the day was good.

 

Everybody in homeroom was chatting amongst themselves, as usual, while cute drawings of different characters and flowers adorned the whiteboard with little phrases and words next to them. Her head was low as she entered, quietly making a beeline towards her usual desk and pulling out her notebook.

 

Something scrunched under her papers.

 

The girl moved her notebook, curious brows raised, and there, on her desk, sat a yellow sticky note, with a sun wearing sunglasses and a little daisy sitting around the neat, swirly handwriting that read;

 

Come to the club room after classes, We have planning to do~

 

Just when she thought she'd gotten away from them, they pulled her right back into their grubby hands.

 

She sighed, trying to hide the slight grin that made it's way to her face. She propped her head up on one hand, staring blankly at the whiteboard at the front of the room.

 

I wonder what's going on this time.

 

It wasn't long before everyone got settled and into their seats. Now, all she had to do, was wait.

 

 

- nobody -

 

 

Everyone is so lively today.

 

Even more so than usual, the host club's atmosphere was effervescent, seeming to bubble over with what she assumed was excitement – even the guests were basically dancing in their seats.

 

"So, Kyoya! When will the annual Spring Dance be held this year?"

 

"Yeah! Everybody has been talking about it already, we're all so excited!"

 

"Well, ladies, we plan to have it soon, in early May. We're actually having preparations being made at this moment."

 

"Oh, wow, really!? We have to start looking at gowns, then!"

 

"Yes, we're looking forward to it! I wonder what the theme will be this year."

 

Spring Dance?

 

"That, my dears, is a surprise. Just know that all the hosts have worked very hard to find only the best decorations and catering for our guests."

 

They all swooned at Kyoya's smooth cut words, alight with his usual false cheeriness. He smiled at his guests politely, listening to their excited rambling.

 

Huh. I should've figured they would have one. Just slipped my mind. Maybe that's why they wanted me up here, to help with preparations?

 

"Oh, (N/N)-chan!!! You look so pretty!"

 

Almost knocked back by Honey's embrace, she hid a giggle, letting him hug her – now that it's been nearly a month, the timid girl has gotten used to her elder's childish mannerisms.

 

"Hello, senpai. Um, thank you!"

 

He laughed cutely before letting her go. "So you got Tama-chan's note? I wasn't sure if you'd come visit us today."

 

"Yeah, I almost didn't see it actual-"

 

"Oh, Princess! Welcome!"

 

Yet again, she was scooped up into a pair of arms, but this time, she was twirled around and around and around, before finally her feet touched the ground once more, a pair of warm hands on her shoulders.

 

Her cheeks were pink from that welcome, and head spinning after that twirl; she still wasn't used to Tamaki's bear hugs. As nice as they were, they always made her chest flutter and twist, as if, suddenly, the only thing that was there was warmth, and a rosy cinnamon scent that she could lose herself in.

 

(Y/N) smiled.

 

"Hi, Tamaki-senpai."

 

"I'm glad you came today! We have many things to discuss, like the-"

 

"Spring Dance?"

 

"Oh! Yes. I'm guessing you've heard?"

 

His hands fell from her shoulders, as his head tilted like that of a puppy, blonde hair shining like gold under the florescent lights that hung in chandeliers from the ceiling high above.

 

"Well, just now I heard some of Kyoya's visitors talking about it- oh, I think you have people waiting, senpai."

 

She nodded her head towards the girls waiting patiently with smiles on their pretty faces. The taller nods. "Yeah, I'll tell you more about it later, okay? So don't leave!"

 

"Okay, don't worry! I'll be right here."

 

He smiled once again before greeting his guests and walking with them to a table.

 

She took it upon herself to sit, folded up in a sofa situated at the back of the expansive room, and plugged her earbuds in to block out the chatter that echoed. Plucking her journal out from her bag, she balanced it on her knee, continuing a sketch she'd been working on recently–a myosotis plant, more commonly known as forget-me-not's.

 

Small flowers, known for their symbolism of faithful love and reminiscent feelings; their color, known as "true blue," was the color of trust, loyalty and truth. She chose these flowers for an assignment in her art class, the project being on symbolism in everyday objects.

 

She was a bit of a nerd for those kinds of things.

 

From beside the focused girl peered a curious ginger over her shoulder. A pair of honey eyes roamed across the paper, watching as her hand moved and twitched, careful yet messy in a way he hadn't really seen before.

 

"What're you drawing, (Y/N)?"

 

Music drowned out his words, earbuds nestled safely in her ears as she just continued what she was doing, unbothered.

 

He decided to tuck his voice away for now, watching the pencil as it dragged across the paper, quietly. He moved closer, a sheepish smile playing on his lips as he crouched, propping his arm on the armrest of the chair, head leaning close to the oblivious girl's shoulder.

 

He'd seen those flowers before, overflowing in the pots that sit right outside his mansion's front doors, serving as a welcome whenever he arrived home. He never realized how pretty they were until that moment.

 

Soon enough she turned the page, and from the corner of his eye he saw a nonchalant smile pull on her cheeks - she wrote a message in her book.

 

How long have you been spying on me?

 

Kaoru chuckled, then pulled out an earbud of hers.

 

"About five minutes now, actually."

 

"Hm. You're such a stalker, you know that?"

 

Closing her book she turned towards the younger twin, headphone swinging and smacking Kaoru in the face as she moved; she held back an embarrassed laugh.

 

"Those are forget-me-not's, right?" His head tilted, lights reflecting in his eyes like constellations.

 

She lit up. "Yeah. I'm just doing rough sketches for a project I'm working on... I'm pretty excited to start painting it."

 

"That's right!" The girl jumped at his exclamation, dropping her journal with a thud, "We've never seen your paintings before. When will you show us your winning masterpiece, (Y/-"

 

"What's this?"

 

Her cheap journal was plucked from the floor by slim hands, mischievous eyes studying the contents of the page that had revealed itself from the prior fall.

 

"Wai-"

 

"Ooh, I never took you as the obsessive type, (Y/N)."

 

Kaoru stood abruptly from his crouch and walked over to where his twin was in front of the poor girl, lips falling open, just a bit, just enough to suck in a breath he didn't know he needed.

 

"And for Tamaki, no less!"

 

Imprinted on the thin pages of her grimoire, was an unfinished portrait of none other than Tamaki Suoh, eyes sleepy and hair a mess, but a smile as bright as the very sun. You could feel the warmth he radiated through the page.

 

What took Kaoru by surprise was how much detail was put into the whole thing, even if it was a bit sloppy. It looked like it held every color in the world, even though the only thing that was there was the dull, grey lead of the pencil and bits of eraser shavings caught here and there.

 

She jumped up and tried to snatch it out of the taunting male's hands, though he just held it over her head.

 

She felt like crying; nobody was supposed to see that.

 

"What are you all doing?"

 

None other than the king himself asked, taking long strides towards the twins. Hikaru couldn't get enough of this. For one reason or another, he felt acid deep down in his stomach that bit at him from the inside, but on his tongue was the sweet taste of hell's fire, and he would deal with the burning of his conscience later.

 

"Seems like you have another fan, boss! Look at this."

 

Though, the girl wouldn't give up that easily. She jumped up once again, eyes glaring holes through the auburn's head, and a shiver crawled up his spine. He almost considered giving it back. Almost.

 

Tamaki was there now, and it felt like everything was in slow motion for her. Yeah, maybe she was being dramatic, but she couldn't help it. That was private and special to her, not to mention how embarrassed she'd be if he saw it.

 

(Y/N) disregarded how she was now chest-to-chest with Hikaru Hitachiin, and how pink dusted his cheeks as his eyes slanted down at her own ones in a silent declaration of war. The tips of her toes kissed the marble of Ouran's floors as she leaned against the much, much taller male in effort to get back what was rightfully hers, but he only stretched his arm out further, completely ignoring everyone else's presence in the now emptying room.

 

In that moment, nothing mattered to either of them. There was nothing else but each other and the mutual feeling of a bloody red. 

 

...Save for the other club members of course, who watched the whole ordeal with amusement.

 

Kyoya sipped on his earl grey. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say Hikaru is flirting, wouldn't you agree?"

 

Haruhi's hand clasped over her mouth in an effort not to laugh. She hummed in silent agreement. "Yeah, I'd definitely say so."

 

"(Y/N), you drew this...?"

 

It was those words that were the rain that washed the fire to ashes,  though the biting heat lingered even when she pulled apart from Hikaru. His glare snapped to the wall as he avoided eye contact. Her skin was red with embarrassment and anger, blood boiling and burning her from the inside. The older twin only stood, arms crossed and eyebrows drawn together with an angry pout plastered on his rose petal lips.

 

Though, what she didn't know was that Hikaru was nauseous with the nasty aftertaste of guilt, pitchforks stabbing at his lungs, making it hard for him to do anything but clench his fists and bear it. He didn't care about how he made her feel. Why would he? She was just another one of Tamaki's stupid fangirls.

 

Right...?

 

He couldn't keep himself from glaring over at (Y/N) one last time.

 

 

- nobody -

 

 

Tamaki cleared his throat, clapping his hands together as all the hosts gathered and watched him.

 

"So, as many of you know, the annual spring dance is upon us, and we've already booked the grand hall for the ceremony."

 

(Y/N) listened curiously from her seat beside Mori, whom she felt safest by at the moment. He didn't ask questions; he didn't pry; he didn't do much of anything, really. His quiet presence was cooling against the fire raging red underneath her skin.

 

"I thought we should all gather to choose a theme. Last year's was royalty, and the decorations and dress code played off of that."

 

That's so like them. The girl grinned quietly to herself, finding their predictable nature entertaining. "Does anyone have any ideas?"

 

The girl hesitated, just for a moment, swallowing Hikaru's thorny glare like sour medicine.

 

"What about a vintage theme?" She spoke.

 

"Vintage theme...?" Tamaki questioned aloud, tilting his head slightly, just like she noticed he'd always do when thinking.

 

"Yeah. Like age old antiques, soft colors, lace, the like. Unless you've already done something like that, I mean.."

 

"No, no. Actually... That's a really good idea, (Y/N)," Kyoya flipped through his little black book, jotting down the girl's idea.

 

"Yeah. Sounds good."

 

(Y/N) shifted at the sudden voice beside her, quiet but not shy. Mori wasn't even looking at her, not sparing a single glance her way, his face bearing the same sea glass expression.

 

She took Mori's words to heart, those words he probably thought nothing much of. She then elaborated her thoughts, a little clearer, a little more confident.

 

"I think it would be really elegant, not to mention economical. We could maybe even visit a few antique shops for some of the decorations."

 

No one added anything in, silently willing her to continue.

 

"Soft colors, like cream and periwinkle and mauve would do. Maybe we can even make some kind of dress code."

 

Still, no one.

 

"...I don't know."

 

"That's a wonderful idea, (N/N)-chan!" Exclaimed Honey from his cozy seat on Mori's lap.

 

"Yeah, we've never done anything like that before. It could be really pretty," added Kaoru.

 

Kyoya chimed in, "Any other ideas?" 

 

"Nope! I think this is what we're going for this year, my dear Kyoya!"

 

As the hosts scattered amongst themselves, Honey tucked his arms snugly around (Y/N)'s legs with a wide, sweet smile; too wide, too sweet. In the moment, though, the girl was caught up in catching butterflies in her stomach. They listened to me, she thought. Her hands subconsciously found their way around the short male's small frame, as they tended to these days.

 

"(N/N)-chan, do you wanna walk with us outside?"

 

A sheepish smile stretched her lips as she replied. "Can't, senpai. I have to prepare tomorrow's food."

 

"Oh, about that, (Y/N)."

 

Honey reluctantly loosened his hold and marched back to his tall companion. Kyoya stood at her side now, tucking his phone away safely into the pocket of his trousers.

 

She hummed, listening.

 

"We're not opening the club tomorrow, so you don't have to have anything ready. Just go home and get some rest."

 

(Y/N) turned her head to peer up at him. His eyes were unfocused, looking out at the blooming colors of spring outside the windows. She didn't understand what he was thinking or feeling, or if he was feeling anything at all for that matter.

 

In that moment, he reminded her of the darkness that separates the stars.

 

 

- nobody -

 

 

The walk home was full of life, unsurprisingly. Wildflowers and green grass lined the roads, honeybees buzzing happily as they kissed the flowers and danced with butterflies. There was still a few hours of the day left, judging by how the sun was strung in the sky, so instead she decided to walk to a local park. It was small and well-worn but very peaceful, with its rusty swings and small pond.

 

Ducks waddled around in and out of the water. Birds chirped back and forth in the few trees as a lady struggled to keep her small dog from chasing a poor squirrel scurrying around the base of an oak.

 

Settling on the swings, (Y/N) took a second to unwind. The wind was soft and carried the scent of wild roses as it soothed her skin. There were yellow daffodils happily swaying by the pond. Everything was okay in that moment.

 

In a swift movement the girl kicked off her shoes and hopped out of the swing, laughing at herself when she stumbled. The grass felt like silk on her callused feet as she stepped towards the large rose bush, crouching to smell its pink petals. Carefully, she plucked one, two, three, four roses and skipped away to gather a few daffodils, cattails, and dandelions.

 

For mom, when she gets home.

 

Right as she was about to steal a pinecone from its branch, her phone vibrated annoyingly in her pocket.

 

 

2 new messages from " the host club 👑✨💞"

 

 

Since when was I in a group chat??

 

Ignoring it, (Y/N) decided to check it out later. How did they even get her Instagram though? It didn't matter, she figured. She'd probably spent far too long at the park, anyway, if the creamy orange beginning to color the sky was any indication. It was time to head back home.

 

With all different kinds of plants gripped securely in her dirty hand, she retrieved her discarded shoes and gingerly walked back towards her neighborhood.

 

 

- nobody -

 

 

It wasn't until (Y/N) found herself sprawled across her bed and once more attempting to wrap-up her forget-me-not sketch that she remembered the notifications she had received from the host club prior.

 

The mixed bouquet of wild flowers she had managed to concoct was placed on her mother's nightstand, along with a note on which she had scrawled a short but sweet message the moment she arrived back home. Aside from that, the only things she had her mind set on were homework (regardless of how little she was assigned), dinner, and sleep. It's true, she was tired,  a bit hungry as well, but she still chose to squeeze in some relaxing time to comfortably let her pencil dance across the designated page within her journal. 

 

It almost amazed her how lost in thought she would find herself whenever she decided to let her creative side flow as freely as it did. It's as if she would switch over to autopilot and let nothing but her hand take control while her mind soared with an intoxicated sort of vigor as it explored every idea that subconsciously came to her head. 

 

It was for this exact reason that it took her several moments to register the lit-up screen of her phone lying atop the cluster of unmade sheets just inches away. 

 

Setting down her pencil, (Y/N) diverted her attention to the rectangular device and awkwardly shifted positions before picking it up and unlocking it. The number of messages from earlier had since multiplied, a prominent 61 plastered on the corner of the application.

 

 

haruhi.fuji: Well I know of a few thrift shops around near my apartment. You can find all kinds of hidden gems there.

 

haruhi.fuji: Don't know about antique stores though, but (Y/N)-chan might know of some.

 

tama_king: Thrift stores????

 

(58 more messages)

 

 

The corners of her lips upturned just enough for her to notice.

 

She opened the app and scrolled through the messages, skimming through notifications and following each member back. Well, accept for Hikaru, who hadn't even followed her in the first place. Hesitantly, (Y/N) typed out a message, then deleted it, then typed it out again, then deleted it. The girl sighed, chewing on her cheek, trying to decide what to say.

 

 

tama_king: Look (Y/N)s online!!

 

 

Well, leave it to Tamaki to point her out. Said girl settled for a simple greeting.

 

 

(username): hi everyone!

 

haruhi.fuji: (Y/N), we were just talking about what kind of decorations we should get for the spring dance.

 

(username): oh, well i figured we could just go looking through local shops to find authentic antique decor

 

haruhi.fuji: Like all of us out shopping together??

 

tama_king: That sounds like fun we should go see all the commoner shops together!

 

 

(Y/N) suddenly had regrets. All eight of them, six of which all likely hadn't ever even heard of a thrift store before, out and about? Even if she was starting to grow used to the lot of them, it was a whole other thing to be seen out in public with them. It wasn't that (Y/N) was embarrassed of them, but more so bothered by how much attention they seem to bring towards themselves. The socially awkward girl wasn't sure if she could handle that very well.

 

 

(username): i mean, sure??

 

haruhi.fuji: That sounds... ;;;

 

(username): yeah ik, migjt not be the best of ideas i've had huh

 

(username): *might

 

 

She quietly laughed to herself, trying to shake off the dread that was already piling on her shoulders.

 

 

tama_king: No, it sounds like a great idea!!

 

 

The "Oh, what have I done," slipped past her lips as she saw none other than Kyoya himself finalize the plans.

 

 

KyoyaOotori: I see you three have been planning an outing?

 

KyoyaOotori: And when are we all going to do this?

 

 

It was funny, because she could practically feel him shaking his head through the screen. Maybe the two of them were more alike than she had originally thought.

 

She decided then that she might as well go through with it.

 

 

(username): well, earlier you said i didn't have to prep for tomorrows guests, so i'm free tomorrow after school.

 

tama_king: The host club was planned to be closed tomorrow for preparations to be made for the dance. i'm sure our lovely guests wouldn't mind. so Kyoya, is tomorrow okay to go out shopping?

 

KyoyaOotori: I suppose that it would be a good learning experience to see what low-budget commoner living is like. So, yes, that sounds just fine. I'll make sure to let the others know.

 

It looked like all had been settled, so she switched the device back off and let it sit to the side. The sound of the door clicking shut and the A/C being tampered with alerted the young girl of her mother's arrival home, so she skipped into the doorway to greet her.

 

She looked tired, just as she always did, with the same empty smile and hollow eyes. (Y/N) hugged her and in a small voice, said hello.

 

"Heya, Pumpkin."

 

There was nothing else to be said as the woman kicked off her shoes and walked into her room, no doubtedly to sleep until she had to drag herself back out to work again. (Y/N) hoped she liked the flowers she had picked out for her.

 

Sometimes there is no worse feeling than guilt that will eat one out from the inside.

 

She felt as though the way that things were running in her house functioned like an unbalanced scale. Her mother always came home exhausted and worn-out as the result of working from dawn to dusk, and it hurt the young girl's heart to see her in such poor condition. It wasn't extremely often that she would even get the chance to say hello, and rarer still that she ever had the time to hold a good conversation.

 

They both loved each other more than life itself, and (Y/N) knew that better than anyone else, but with all the overbearing work her mother put up with, day and night, everything just seemed...

 

Unfair.

 

Bitter and unsavory thoughts aside, one glance at the clock on the microwave reminded her of the looming drowsiness she felt gradually washing over her. It had been a long day, and the next was certain to be even longer.

 

With this in mind, she experienced little to no hesitation before striding off towards her bathroom to ready herself for what she hoped to a good night's rest. Once she was curled up under the cotton sheets and had her stuffed animal of choice in a loving grip (not caring about how childish she may have seemed), the bluish light of her phone caught her attention as she slowly and reluctantly lifted up one eyelid. 

 

Reaching for the device resting on her night stand, she opened both eyes; given how she hadn't really been exposed to the darkness of her room for a prolonged amount of time, it didn't take long to adjust to the screen's luminescent glow as she focused on the message displayed on her lock screen. A single notification was shown, and (Y/N) couldn't help but allow a small smile to make its way onto her face once she had processed what it read.

 

 

haruhi.fuji: Good luck tomorrow, (Y/N). Hope you'll be able to handle a few hours out with those goofballs.