Chapter 1: Jirou : No One Can Tell You Who To Love
Officially, Jirou never “came out”. Instead she brought a girl home in fifth grade and let her parents make their assumptions. When her mom asked her about it, she said, “Boys aren't my type.” Her mom had just smiled and kissed her forehead. And that was that. Within a year, Jirou figured out that her liking girls apparently was abnormal. Boys teased her on her behavior and style. Girls would uncomfortably cover their chests in the locker room as though Jirou was trying to check them out. Teachers wouldn’t even talk to her in Health & Nutrition. At first, this just made her confused. Then it made her mad.
One night she woke her parents up in tears with a saddened scowl on her face. She told them everything about her friends and teachers, how they treated her. Her mother nodded, her lips pursed, containing her inner mama bear. Her father, however was straight up infuriated.
“How dare - !” He began to shout, before his wife covered his mouth with her hand.
“I-is there something wrong with me?” Jirou asked, red swelling under her eyes from the tears.
Her mom opened up her arms and let her daughter climb into her lap. “No, baby.” She said giving Jirou a hug.
“But all the other girls like b-boys.”
Her mom made her look her in the eyes. “Look at me, Kyouka, look at me.” She obeyed. “There is nothing wrong with you.” Her mother cast her mind around and had an idea. “Hey, you know how you are right handed but your daddy is left handed, right?”
Her mother continued. “Well, some people are left handed but most people aren't. That doesn't make lefties abnormal or wrong, it is just the way they are. They were born that way. Just like how you were born liking girls. And that's okay. No one can tell you who to love.” She tickled Jirou. “No one can tell you when to laugh,” Jirou giggled.“How to live.” The tickling went on. “Or who to love.”
After hearing what her mother had said, Jirou felt a little better.
The next morning before school, Jirou's father took her to the nearest mall. After hearing about his daughter's troubles, he was determined to set the record straight. He explained the LGBTQ+ community to her and then continued to buy as many rainbow shirts, LGBTQ+ pins, and merchandise as possible. At first, Jirou was reluctant because she wore black mostly with the occasional dark purple or blue. But after her dad told her what the rainbows meant, she was ecstatic to wear the colors.
When she arrived at school, decked out in a “GAY IS OK” tee, rainbow buttons and pins, and a little LGBTQ+ flag sticking out of her backpack, she was happier than she had been in a long time. She walked down the halls with a bright smile as her fellow classmates glanced at each other awkwardly. But she didn't care.
The first year of being so openly gay was hard, most of the other kids didn't know how to react. But the more she just allowed herself to be, well, herself, the more others warmed up to her. Girls started to sit with her at lunch. She was invited to study sessions. A boy even asked her for advice on how he should come out to his parents. Before she knew it she was the most popular girl in middle school. Not because she was lesbian, but because she was just herself.
Jirou wasn't afraid of showing her true colors.
Jirou stood, shaking in front of the glass entry at U.A. High. Looking down at the standard uniform she wore, she felt herself quiver. It had been years since she had blended with a crowd. The uniform she wore promoted being equal with the rest of her classmates. That was a good thing, right? It meant that no matter who she was on the inside, she was still equal to everyone else. But what if no one liked who she was inside? She didn't know any of the kids she could meet inside U.A. Bullies, homophobes? She shook away these thoughts. She hadn't cared about that at her old school, why should she now?
But...how she presented herself at U.A. would determine her entire career, her whole future! Did she want to chance making a bad impression?
Well they are just going to have to like all of me or none of me. That's their problem.
She opened the doors of U.A. with confidence but within seconds, she bolted to the ladies room and took of the two rainbow buttons she had ben wearing.
And then she threw them in the trash.
Jirou had made friends, an idiot named Kamanari, an emo named Tokoyami, a creepy looking dude, Shoji, and a unbelievably hot girl called Yaoyorozu. She loved 1-A so much! Everyone was so supportive and nice and great. Everyday she would tell herself that today she would tell them, but she always ended up with an excuse. Time passed. History was a pain, training was fun, the school was attacked by villains, she kicked butt, Bakugou was kidnapped and rescued, and they were now moving into dorms.
Yaoyorozu and Shoji had offered to help her pack up her stuff since they were both already done. Jirou refused a little too quickly. Besides her embarrassing K-pop merch, she still proudly owned gay pride posters and shirts, rainbows still littered her floor...okay, maybe not so proudly anymore.
Shoji had shrugged it off, but Yaoyorozu was wary.
“Are you certain? I am free right now.”
“No, no, no!” Jirou insisted, her heart thumping a little when the other girl had said she was free. “My, uh, my room is a mess! And my dog, she-uh, gets hair everywhere!”
“I didn't know you had a dog.” Yaoyorozu said, wondering if Jirou had ever talked about her dog. The fact was, Jirou didn't have any pets at all.
“Oh, yeah! He's a, uh, Labrador.”
“I thought you said it was a she…?”
Jirou could have slapped herself. Panicking, she flailed her arms around. “HE'S TRANSGENDER!” She shouted as she bolted ad fast as she could away from Yaoyorozu, leaving her far behind, standing in confusion.
Why the hell am I so stupid?!?!
Jirou regretted refusing Shoji's help. With his extra limbs, it would have been a sinch moving her instruments. But no, it was just her and her dad hauling the accustics inch by inch for hours. After that workout was over, her dad and her sat down for a water break.
“I packed all your posters in the parcels over there,” Jirou's father pointed to a box labeled “KYOUKA’S LGBTQ+ MERCH”
“Oh...uh,” Jirou scratched the back of her neck nervously. “Dad, I'm not taking them.” She backtracked as his eyes widened in mild shock. “It is just,...the dorms belong to U.A. and I don't want to run the walks.”
Good excuse, Jirou!
“Nonsense!” Her dad laughed. “We saw your broccoli haired friend's room when we were loading! He has a bunch of All Might posters! “ He ruffled her hair, chuckling. “That was a good thought though, Pumpkin.”
Jirou cringed. “Don't call me that, Dad. Please.”
“Okay, Baby Girl.”
Jirou face palmed herself.
I want to die….!!!!
The dorm situation had caused an unexpected dilemma for Jirou. Her room was next to Yaoyorozu’s. Now, at first she though nothing of it. But the linger the arrangement went on, Jirou knew she was in trouble. Since this was a female only zone, a lot of the girls were okay walking around less than modestly. Jirou did okay at first, just ignoring it as she had in middle school, but now and than she caught herself glancing at Uraraka’s slightly chubby curves, stealing a look at Tsu's butt or Ashido's biceps.
It wasn't just her breasts or body that Jirou wanted to see, it was all of her. Everything about Yaoyorozu was distracting. Her lips, the way she talked and formed words, he thought process, her kindness, her insecurities. Yaoyorozu was just so imperfectly perfect. Just thinking about her made Jirou sweat. She did her best to keep herself as nothing but friendly to the girl, but she slipped up. Once she tried to flirt a little, but the brunette thought it was all just girly banter.
It was infuriating how oblivious the other was to Jirou’s sexual frustration!
When it became too much, she called the one person who always knew what to say.
“Hello?” Came the sweet but stedyu voice on the other side if the phone.
“Are you okay, sweetie? You sound down.”
Jirou sighed and played with her earphine jacks. “I am...a little. Mom…”
After a little coaxing, Jirou spilled everything. His she had taken off her gay pins the first day of school and thrown them away. How she had shamefully been ashamed of her homosexuality. How she kept the truth to herself. How she was now in a big stew because if the hot girls around her. And Yaoyorozu. How she felt about Yaoyorozu.
“Kyouka Jirou,” her mother said quietly get sternly. “Are you saying you have been lying to your friends about your sexuality?”
“Holding back the truth is lying, Kyouka! Now, are yiur classmates your friends or not?”
“And do you trust them.”
“Then you are going to tell them the truth.”
“But, Mom…I am just not ready…”
“Why shouldn't you be ready? You have been lesbian since you were ten, Kyouka! It is a part of you now. And if you trust your friends, you need to trust them with all if you, not just the parts you want them to see. If they dislike you for it, then that is their business. But they deserve to know the whole you.”
“...that isn't what I wanted to hear.”
“But it is the right thing to do. Now off your pop and be honest.”
Her mom hung up and Jirou stared at the phone for a second. Then she stood from where she sat on her bed to lay belly down on the ground. She shuffled some items under her bed until she found the box her dad had packed all of her beloved tokens in. She looked fondly at it and then arranged a girls only meeting.
“So, what up, Jirou?” Hagakure asked, flopping herself down on a sofa.
All five girls were there. Jirou had wanted to tell them first because they were closest to her and would probably be the most affected by her declaration.
Ashido bounced up and down, her pink hair rising and falling. “Oh! Are you going to finally tell us that you are in love with Kamanari?!?!”
Jirou dry heaved. “What?!?! No! That...that is just gross.”
Ashido's face fell as she muttered, “But...my ship…”
“So, what did you need to tell us?” Yaoyorozu asked in her beautifully serine voice.
Jirou played with her earphone jacks again. “Look, we are all gods friends, right?” Each girl nodded in agreement. “Then, I should have told you this awhile ago. You see...I, uh...I'm gay.”
Four pairs of eyes blinked at her and she quickly continued. “I'm telling you because, well since we are gonna be sharing living quarters, you should know. If it makes you uncomfortable, I totally understand! I am sure Aizawa can figure something else out…”
Uraraka was the first to speak after Jirou trailed off. “Jirou, I don't think any if that is necessary. I am just wondering why you didn't tell us sooner?”
“Yeah,” Tsu spoke up. “If any if us made you think that we were judgemental of that kind of thing, I don't think we meant it. You're our friend, Jirou, no matter what. So...did we do something that made you want to hide this, ribbit?”
“No!” Jirou corrected them. “You...you would never do anything like that to me! I just thought…” she laughed as she realized how ridiculous she had been all school year. “You guys are my friends and I never wanted you to think badly if me.”
“You?!” Hagakure laughed, siting up and rushing to give Jirou a hug. “Never!”
“Yeah!” Uraraka cheered, pumping her fist into the air and joining the hug.
“Yay, group hugs!” Ashido laughed as she and Tsu joined in.
Jirou pulled away when she saw Yaoyorozu standing away with a dark look on her face.
“Ya-Momo?” Jirou asked. “Are you alright?”
Oh no! This is exactly why I kept it hidden!!!!
“Oh, yes, yes…” she swallowed and turned away. “Just...a suck stomach. Excuse me!” She rushed out.
Jirou would have run after her but Hagakure stopped her. “So, how are you gonna tell the boys?”
She shrugged. “I dunno, I guess - “
Ashido interrupted. “I have an idea!!!”
“What the fucking hell?!?!”
Bakugou’s screech echoed down the halls. Everyone stopped and looked. A few stood, stunned, others doubled over laughing.
Four 1-A girls, Uraraka, Ashido, Hagakure, and Tsu walked cooly behind Jirou who lead their little procession. Each had sunglasses on and long faux gold chains around their necks. They all wore caps, backwards and sideways. Ashidowas gliding on a skateboard and Uraraka popped her gum. Their high top trainers hit the floor at the exact same pace. Jirou marched confidently at the front with a crown on her head. Every single girl was decked out in a array of rainbows.
And Jirou was the queen.
“It's a shame Yaoyorozu was sick,” Tsu said as the other kids in the hall parted to make way for them.
Kirishima was jumping up and down whooping as they walked by. “You go girls!” He offered a high five to Jirou, which she accepted.
Tokoyami and Shoji clapped. Kamanari laughed his head off. Mineta goggled at Ashido’s booty shorts. Midoriya smiled at the girls then nervously looked at Bakugou, who pushed himself away and kerpt walking. Iida was trying ti bring back order. Aoyama cried, “Magnific!”
And Jirou couldn't help but notice how Todoroki couldn't keep his eyes off of them.
Later in class, after they had all changed, Jirou pinned several of her prized buttons on her uniform. Now she really was Jirou Kyouka again.
After school and a lot of people sharing how awesome she was, she was getting ready to go back to the dorms. But when the classroom was empty, she was stopped.
She turned around, startled. She thought she was the last one in the classroom.
“Oh, hey, Todoroki.”
The heterochromic came out from the door he was hiding behind. He walked over to Jirou but didn't look her in the eye. Instead he gazed intensely at the floor. Finally he said, “...what do your rainbows mean?” He pointed to where her pins were.
Her eyes widened a little and she looked at her oins.. “Um, it's sort of the symbol for the LGBTQ+ community. “ He looked at her questioningly and she continued, awkwardly. “You know, er, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer...and that?”
Todoroki nodded, his half and half hair shifting ever so slightly. “That's what I thought it meant.” Jirou thought that was it, but then he asked, barely louder than a whisper. “...could I have one?”
“Huh?” The question through her off guard.
“Never mind,” he said as he quickly walked to the door, away from her.
“Wait!” She stopped him and quickly unbuttoned one of her pins. “Here,” she put it in his hand and tried to look him in the eye but he kept avoiding her. “They sell them everywhere if you want more. Like, Hottopic and stuff. And I have some old ones you can have.”
He turned away and muttered. “...thank you.”
As he started to walk away again, she took a breath and began. “Wait, Todoroki, are you -”
He started running away from her before she could finish.
Chapter 2: Todoroki : I Can't Change Who I Am
Thanks to everyone who loved the first chapter!!!!
Remember I stayed up until 4:20 am writing this so if you could get me some coffee, that would be great, thanks. XD
A three year old Shouto Todoroki buried his head under his pillow as he tried to block out the yells. His father and older brother were fighting downstairs. That was strange because Touya usually knew how to keep in their father's good books. But he had said something at breakfast that had displeased him and now he was going to get it.
Todoroki hadn’t been able to identify what was wrong. One minute the whole family were eating in silence, the next Touya gave one off hand comment and their father was up in flames...literally.
Unfortunately, the plush pillow was not strong enough to protect him from the screams. After a little while the noises stop but were followed by a loud BANG. Todoroki shakily stood up and and carefully walked down the stairs. Enji Todoroki, his father, stood fuming and glaring at the door. But no one else was with him.
“Oyaji,” Todoroki said innocently. “Daddy, where is Touya?”
“Go back upstairs,” his father growled. “Touya isn't coming back.”
Todoroki began to run down the halls as soon as he heard Jirou begin to speak to him again. His face was red and he felt seat form on his brow even though he wasn’t running that fast. He didn't want to confront her again on this subject. Never. Never, ever, ever. Ever.
As soon as he was out of her sight, out of the school, he slowed his pace to a walk but still hustled away. He headed to the 1-A dorms as quickly as he could without raising any eyebrows. Once in the common area however, Izuku Midoriya stopped him.
“Hey, Todoroki!” He addressed him cheerfully.
Todoroki took a breath, not looking at the boy. “Hey, Midoriya.”
“Wanna play Space Invaders?”
Todoroki looked up and stole a glance at him. Midoriya sat on the ground a few inches away from the couch. Eijirou Kirishima, Mina Ashido, and Minoru Mineta sat on the couch (Kirishima sat between Mineta and Ashido as a protective barrier) with controllers in their hands. Midoriya’s hair was a little more disheveled than usual, which was saying something and his freckles were sunkissed by the light streaming from the nearby window. His eyes were squinted a little from the strain of the video game but the green orbs were as bright and sparkling as always.
Todoroki couldn't help it. His eyes moved from Midoriya’s face to his legs, which were barely covered by the shorts he wore. The toned muscles, the smooth, place skin, brown freckles on his thigh… His thigh…
“No, thank you,” he looked away blushing. “I am good.”
“Oh, okay!” He said as Todoroki walked away and to his dorm. “If you change your mind we will be here!”
Todoroki didn't respond. He kept walking.
What was that?! I am not supposed to look at Midoriya, idiot! I promised myself I'd stop!
But he hadn't. Midoriya sat two seats aged to the right of him and it was so easy to look over and stare at the tousled green hair. So easy to pass him in the hallway and “accidentally” bump into him. So easy to “accidentally” kick Uraraka in the shins when she got too close.
Todoroki knew he needed to stop it. He knew that if he continued like this, he would end up just like Touya.
Not true. Touya had the sense to leave. I don't.
Todoroki had watched his father's back walk away from him as he headed of with other heroes to go fight a Noumu, leaving him alone at the agency. Disappointed at the denial of any action or field experience and angry at his father's actions and words, he stayed put and sis as he was told. Like he had anywhere else to be.
Well, until his phone buzzed.
He opened the lock screen and checked out his notifications. The top one read:
U.A. High Student Body Portal #1948I
zuku Midoriya/Deku has shared his location
Midoriya? Why would he share his location. 1-A had nothing scheduled and the boy should have been at his internship. The said location was a unspecified group of alleyways on the outskirts of Hosu City. Hosu City…where the Hero Killer was at large...no. Midoriya was too smart to go after him.
But them Todoroki remembered the looks he had noticed from Tenya Iida the past week. The look that sought for justice.
Midoriya was too kind not to go after Iida if he got into trouble. Todoroki’s heart raced at the thought of hus Midoriya on danger.
My Midoriya? When did I start thinking of him as my Midoriya?
But, never mind that. He had somewhere to be.
Todoroki opened his dorm door and walked in. He sat down on a chair and opened his palm. The little rainbow pin Jirou had given him lay innocently right there. He looked at it for a moment. When Jirou and the other girls had come marching down the halls decked out in rainbows, he had been confused. What was going on? But when Kaminari called out “Gaayyyyy” good naturedly, he could surmise what it was. Jirou was gay.
No! I am NOT gay! I am not!
He just really...admired Midoriya. Ever since the sports festival he had felt a pull towards the boy. It started out as just a friendly thing. Todoroki had a small amount of friends before then and it was a nice change to have someone who genuinely cared about him the way Midoriya did. Then he started to become protective of the boy. Like, when Midoriya had sent his location out when Stain the Hero Killer had attacked, Todoroki had immediately bolted out to find Midoriya. Now, he had personalised Midoriya’s ringtone and text alert so he knew exactly when he was calling him. If he texted Midoriya he would stare at his phone waiting for him to text back, even if it took hours. He became increasingly annoyed whenever Uraraka made goo goo eyes at an oblivious Midoriya. Once, when Todoroki had helped Midoriya with a math equation over text, he had responded:
Wow, Todoroki!!! You are so amaziamazing. Thx
A simple message like that had made Todoroki as giddy as a schoolgirl!. God, he felt like a teenage girl with a crush. But he didn't have a crush! He didn't! Not on Midoriya, not on any male! It just...just wasn't right.
The next day Todoroki noticed Jirou, who sat three seats in front of him, glanced back once and awhile. He pursed his lips and looked at the wood surface of his workspace. Underneath the desk, Todoroki rolled the pin around in his hand, feeling the smooth plastic colored red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple. Why had he asked for the frivolity in the first place? It's not like he really wanted it. Really. And now Jirou thought...she thought he was like her. Ha. What a joke.
Yes. It was a joke. He had merely wanted the pin out of curiosity. Of course.
His head came up at an even pace. “Yes, Mr. Aizawa?”
“Are you paying attention?”
“Yes, Mr. Aizawa.”
Aizawa gave him a doubtful look. “Meet me after class, Todoroki. I want to speak with you.”
“Yes, Mr. Aizawa.”
Jeez, he sounded like a!broken record. The lesson continued, something about expanding linear equations or something. Looking over to Midoriya, he watched as he drew in his notebook. Another hero profile? Todoroki pretended to drop his pencil so he could lean over to try and get a better look.
He felt his heart catch in his throat.
Midoriya was drawing a teenage boy, shirtless with a smug smile on his face. Someone he knew.
And it wasn't Todoroki.
It was Bakugou.
Jealousy ripped at him and he felt heat rise in him. More specifically, on his left side. But he controlled it and leaned back, and appeared nonchalant to the rest of the class. But he held Jirou's pin in his hand so tightly the metal hook on the back bent. Not wanting to ruin it any further, he thought of pinning it on his shirt, but no. That would give the class the wrong impression. Instead he folded over the hem of his white dress shirt and pinned it on the inside, the chill plastic touching his flesh. He made sure his blazer covered the spot. Just in case.
Midoriya was drawing a shirtless Bakugou. There was so much wrong with that on so many levels.
“Father, why did Touya leave?”
Todoroki was eleven years old. His scar from seven years ago still itched and he had to use special ointment to treat it. He was entering the years of his life where everything needed an explanation and answers were needed at every moment of the day. It was pissing Enji off.
“Go train, Shouto,” he growled at his son and heir.
Todoroki cast his face downward and walked away from his father's office.
Later in the day, Todoroki sat next to his sister, Fuyumi who stroked his hair in a comforting manner while they watched TV. Enji was slouched in his armchair reading something on his phone. When Fuyumi turned off the TV and left Todoroki to read his book (Or it looked like a book. He had actually just hidden a Full Metal Alchemist manga in the cover of The Tale Of Genji), Enji didn't look at his son but spoke gruffly. “Touya didn't leave. I forced him out.”
“Why?” Asked young Todoroki.
“Because he was an abomination.”
“Oh.” Was all the boy could say. What had Touya done to make their father call him an abomination? It didn't take much to set Enji off of to get on his bad side, it was just that Todoroki wanted an explanation for why he had not seen his favorite brother for seven years.
After he closed his book/manta and walked out, he visited Fuyumi and sat in he desk chair. He stared at her and cocked his head silently for a moment. Finally Fuyumi, who was brushing her hair placed the brush on the bed and said calmly, but with a little levity in her voice, the toned she used especially for Shouto, “What is it, watashi no otouto, my little brother?”
“I asked father why Touya left. He said he kicked him out because he was an abomination. Why was Touya an abomination? Did he kill someone?”
“No, Shouto-kun, Touya didn’t kill anyone.” Fuyumi thought for a moment. “Touya was just...confused. Confused in a way dad didn't like.”
“Why was he confused.”
Fuyumi decided to be honest. “Touya loved another man and he went about it the wrong way. In my opinion he should have kept it a secret, but Touya always loved to show Dad up. To rub that kind of stuff in his face. Kind of like you.”
Todoroki shrugged. “So, that's it? Touya liked a guy and Father didn't like that?”
“There was a little more to it than that. But...Shouto, it is in the past. There is nothing we can so to change it.”
Another shrug. Todoroki put his hands in his pockets and walked out. As he lay in bed that night, he thought Touya. Why was he an abomination for loving someone. Todoroki was aware of the concept of being gay, but had never put much thought into it. Personally, he thought girls were much prettier, but any romantics was a waste.
Maybe it was just a fact. Gay people were an abomination. He had heard about something like that in the news. The old Pro Hero, Crimson Riot, had come out as gay and his career had collapsed after that. Normal people just didn't like them, guys like Crimson Riot and Touya. Huh. He made sure to make a mental note of that.
Todoroki did not meet Aizawa after class. He didn't feel like it. He wanted to find Midoriya’s notebook and Rio out that stupid picture of Bakugou. But he restrained himself.
He was not gay. He was not gay. He was not gay.
It was like his mantra nowadays.
“Todoroki. Hey, Todoroki!”
He turned around immediately at the sound of that cinnamon roll puberty voice he could recognize anywhere. Midoriya accompanied by, oh hell, Jirou walked to him. Midoriya had his usual grin on and his yellow backpack bobbed up and down as he skipped over. Jirou walked with her hands in her pockets, looking not at Todoroki put at Yaoyorozu who avoided her gaze.
“Hey, Todoroki! Jirou invited us to a study time in the library. We didn't really understand mathematics today. Could you help? I know you are a whiz with those numbers.”
Todoroki remembered the previous day's encounter with Jirou. She was definitely suspicious of Todoroki and his sexuality. Was this her getting back at him for running off? He knew she had been about to ask him yesterday, and maybe she took his avoidance as confirmation. Punk. Todoroki would have said yes under normal circumstances but after a look at Jirou’s knowing smile and Midoriya’s notebook, he put on a neutral face but said in a chill voice, cold enough to start a frost, “Maybe you could ask Bakugou. Since you seem so keen on him.” He looked at Midoriya than at the notebook.
Midoriya watched him and his eyes flitted to his notebook too. He held it tighter to him. Todoroki could tell he knew he had seen the drawing. Good. He better be ashamed or at least embarrassed. He kept a straight face as he turned away from Midoriya. Jirou, however, came after him.
“Dude,” she started. “What was that about Bakugou, I -”
“How do you do it, Jirou?!” He burst out. And when he saw Midoriya was still watching them, he grabbed her shoulder and shoved them both out of sight.
“Hey! Do what?!”
He unpinned the pin. “This!”
“I don't know...I just do, why do you wanna know?!”
“Because,” he took in a breath and suddenly felt sharp tears come into his eyes. “Because I think I might be...you know what too.”
Dammit, I can't cry now!
Jirou's sour face turned into a genuine smile. “I knew it! That is so great, Todoroki!...Wait….are you crying?”
The water streamed down his face and he angrily turned away from her. “No. I'm not….crying.”
He could hear concern in her voice. “Just a trick of the light then. Todoroki, why are you upset?”
“How do you handle everyone hating you?!” He burst out.
“Everyone hating...what? Do...do you hate me for being lesbian?!”
“No, but...everyone else does.”
“WHAT?!?! WHO SAID THAT? IIDA? I ALWAYS KNEW HE WAS HOMOPHOBIC! WHAT AN ASS! I AM GONNA KICK HIS-”
“No, I mean...we're abnormal and people hate that.” He confided. “How did you live with that? I mean. I few months ago, I wouldn't have mi red, but now...I finally have friends and all of 1-A...I don't want to lose them because...I don't want them to hate me!”
More tears came down and Todoroki covered his face. It was true. He couldn't come out and say anything to anyone about this. He knew everyone hated gay people. Everyone. He had it in his mind for five years, but it was just now beginning to affect him. He needed his friends. He didn't want to lose Iida, or Yaoyorozu, and especially not Midoriya. Not for something he couldn't help. He wanted to deny it out of hi!self to kill whatever it was inside him that made him crush on Midoriya. He wanted his friends to like him.But if he told anyone, he knew they would kick him out. Like society did Crimson Riot. Like his father did Touya.
“Oh my God…” Jirou muttered. “You...you actually believed that?”
“What? Of course!”
“Todoroki...that isn't how it is. Maybe a long time ago, but now...no. I don't know where you got that idea from but people are a lot note open minded now. I was gay when I was just ten. My parents didn't hate me, that just loved me for who I was. That is what people do. Love you for who you are. And if they don't… “ She looked over at Yaoyorozu again. “Well, then that is their problem.”
“But...people see us as abominations.”
That made Jirou mad. “Todoroki, you are NOT an abomination. You are a human being who has feelings and is so full of love. Okay, I'll admit, it can be really hard being who we are. But isn't hard for EVERYONE to be their true selves? I mean, it took forever for you and Bakugou to come out of your shells, but when you did everyone loved you! Well, in Bakugou’s case everyone warmed up to him. But…” she places a hand on Todoroki’s shoulder. “Being honest, I see you not as Gay Todoroki now...but as the Real Todoroki.”
Todoroki looked at his hands, where he still held the pin. “My brother… He was like me. My father kicked him out. I haven't seen him for years. He called him an abomination. My sister called him confused. Everyone hated him.”
“Hated him for what? For being himself?”
“Excuse my French but...do you know how fucked up that is?!?!”
“Look, I never told the class I was gay because I was scared. I was scared you guys would be uncomfortable around me. But I told you the truth and everyone was so supportive. I am glad I did it. Now, everyone knows the real Kyouka Jirou and they love her just the same. And I know they will still love you too. Because in U.A. we don't dump each other. We stick together. And if your old man disapproves...well, I never thought you gave a real flip about him anyways.”
“Now you are right there,” Todoroki smiled. “I just...grew up thinking that my brother was, I dunno, wrong somehow. And I've hated myself for my feelings for M- for….um…!”
Jirou nudged him slightly. “Yeah, go on!”
“Shut it.” He muttered.
“Fine be that way. So, how about that study session?”
Shoot, she was right? He needed to apologize to Midoriya. Dang it! Why had he mentioned Bakugou?!?!
He and Jirou walked to the dorms and he said quietly I'm his normal neutrality. “Could you...not tell anyone this?”
“Still not ready?”
“I need some time.”
“Alright, but Midoriya won't be single forever.”
“You're right, but….HEY! How did you know?!?!”
“I didn't. You just confirmed it though. Hahaha!” She ran off laughing her head off.
“Are you kidding me.” He shook his head. That little shi-
After the the math study time, which Jirou, Todoroki, Tsu, Kaminari, and Midoriya all attended, they yawned as they walked back to their living quarters.
“Midoriya,” Todoroki said quietly coming up behind the boy.
“Oh, hey Todoroki…” Midoriya trailed off as he kept walking. He was clutching his notebook and had a look of deep hurt on his face.
Did my comment today affect him that badly?
“Look I am sorry for what I said earlier. I was frustrated at the time.”
“It's okay, I had it coming for that drawing. Call it karma.”
Todoroki stopped the smaller boy and pushed him against the wall forcing him to look him in the eye. “No, Midoriya. I mean it. I am so sorry.”
That stood for a moment. And then, without thinking and without even realizing it, his lips were on Midoriya’s. Woah, when did he do this?!?! Oh well….he was glad he had.
Midou didn't resist the kiss so he deepened it. That is until he noticed Midoriya was not kissing him back.
He stopped. He stayed close to him though, their chests touching. Todoroki starred at the evergreen eyes he had admired from a distance for so long. Up close the shade of Midoriya’s eyes were more of an...emerald. A precious stone. A gem. Just like he was. Precious, rare, and beautiful. Breathtakingly beautiful.
“I-I…” Midoriya started to stammer.
“Yes?” Todoroki encouraged him.
“I….I can't!” Tears flooded his eyes as he pushed the other off and ran.
Todoroki closed his eyes and pushed his head against the wall.
What did I just do?!
The following morning he decided to do it.
The big deed.
(No not THAT deed, you perv! Keep reading before you make those assumptions! XD)
“Alright class, we are going to start with Home Ec. today so if you would…”
Todoroki raised his hand from where he sat in the back. Aizawa raised his eyebrows. “Yes, Todoroki?”
“Mr. Aizawa, I would like to say something. If it is alright.”
Aizawa looked at him intensely. “Fine. You got two minutes.”
Todoroki took a deep breath and swallowed before he stood up and went to the front of the class. He resisted the temptation to hide his head inside his uniform apor to bolt out of the classroom. Instead he held his head high and began to speak to 1-A.
“Hey...so, you all know communication has never been my specialty. But I am going to try anyway. Two days ago, a young lady in this class did a very brave thing and I would like to commend that. She was scared of something but she had the guts to be true to herself and tell us all about the best side of her. Yesterday, she told me that I too could be just as brave and...and I am doing that now. I've been scared of this part of myself for a long time and I know I shouldn't have been. I've hidden it from you guys, fro my family, from myself. But I want to move past all of that lying and fear to something else. I don't want this to half me back. I'm homosexual and...and I am not ashamed anymore. You can hate me for it. But...I can't change who I am...but maybe you can change the way you see me.” Todoroki looked around. “That's all I wanted to say...thanks.”
Jiro had the biggest smile as she started to clap. Shoji followed and then Hagakure and then the whole class. Todoroki blushed. That was a little unnecessary...but he felt good. They didn't hate him. Jirou was right. They loved him even more for being honest to them and more importantly to himself. When he walked back to his seat, he found Aizawa blocking him.
“Todoroki… That was a very brave thing to do. A very brave thing. Much more courageous than some…” he trailed off with something almost like self contempt in his voice.
What was that about?
Todoroki took his seat and felt the biggest burden lift off Hus shoulders. He glanced at Midoriya who had his head down. He was drawing again this time he was covering the page so no one behind him could see. He sighed. Had he made things better? Or worse? Either way, he didn't care. Right now, he was finally the real Todoroki. Just like Jirou had said.
A rare smile invaded his face.
How do you think Midoriya is feeling? Hm? I want to know what you think.
Also, I have a story about Touya Todoroki (*cough*Dabi*cough*) I might make a chapter on as well.
Don't forget to watch out for part three, "Aizawa : Loving Alone"
I love you guys so much! Mimizu Kayama, out! ✌❤🌈
Chapter 3: Aizawa: Loving Alone
So, this part is...not so good. There is a bit of violence but not much. Also, this stuff really happens and I needed to make someone hurt because of false ideas and past hurts. That someone was Aizawa. I sorry. No happy ending here. You have been warned.
It is never easy being yourself. Even if your sexuality isn't something you struggle with, there are bound to be times you question yourself. Everyone has beariers...the question is...will you take the leap of faith to live above them?
“Todoroki… That was a very brave thing to do. A very brave thing. Much more courageous than some…”
Shouta Aizawa had said this to Todoroki after he had come out in front of the entire class. And he had meant it. Every word. His opinion of Todoroki had always been a high one but now the teacher had a respect for his student on a new level. Todoroki was so brave. Braver than he would ever be.
Because Aizawa was a coward and he knew it.
To others it looked like he didn't give an honest damn about how anyone saw him. However, he didn't want fame or recognition for a reason. He was scared. He didn't want his name in the press everyday or to be viral on every weekend. He detested others in his business and would rather kill himself than confide in any stranger. He didn't care about them. No one cared about him. He liked it like that. Sort of.
Aizawa hunched his already slouched shoulders and sidestepped everyone in the U.A. halls. Tongues blew raspberries at him, occasionally flicking spit at him. A hand or two shoved into his shoulder, banging him against a locker or another student. The teenage Aizawa ignored it as best as he could but his spirit and his pride were up in flames.
“HEY, HEY, OUT OF THE WAY! OUT OF THE WAY!”
Aizawa felt relief wash through him when he heard Hizashi Yamada'a voice, come to save him. Long, spaghetti arms wrapped around him and pulled him away from the crowd.
“YO, MY MAN WASSUP?!?! YOU DOWN WITH LUNCH AT KAYAMA’S TONIGHT?!?!”
Aizawa dared Yamada to look at him in the eyes. “At Kayama’s? Me, welcome at Kayama’s? What a joke.”
“HEY, SHE DOESN'T JUDGE YOU, BRO.”
“No, but her parents will. I decline. I've had enough ridicule for today, thanks.”
Yamada continued to walk with Aizawa, leading him outside by the shoulders. “AIZAWA, DO YOU NEED TO-”
“Talk?” Aizawa finished with a snort. “Talking is the last thing I want to do now. It isn't a big deal to me, you know that, Yamada, right?
“I don't need to give a damn about any of this! But I am?! Why the hell is the affecting me?!”
Yamada allowed his voice to lower. “I don't know, my dude, but just remember, yours truly has got your back all the time. No matter what.”
Aizawa rolled his eyes. “Sure. Whatever.”
The sleep deprived youth couldn't help but think that things would never be the same again. It was just after the turn of the century and you would have thought society would be A-OK with Aizawa and his love interests. The world said they supported him. But the moment he was at the bottom if the barrel, they pushed him over.
Two days before Aizawa and Yamada’s conversation above, some punk decided to pick lock the loser kid, Aizawa's, locker to see what damage he could do. Unfortunately, he did a lot.
The following day, Aizawa found half of the school gathered around the notice board, laugh their heads off. Shoving his way to the front, he stood shell shocked.
For as long as he could remember, since he was little, he had written letters to people he admired. From his parents to Muba Superman and Santa, to, most recently, every single one of his crushes. He never sent these letters obviously. They were personal and a sort of dumping ground for the feelings he didn't want anyone else to see. A decade worth of letters kept safely in a box. The box used to be kept under his bed, but he moved it to his locker because he would be the only one to enter it. His letters were safe and sound….
Pinned on the notice board.
Aizawa panicked and tore down every single letter he could reach. Yamada, who was taller, walked by and saw his friend struggling, though he did not know why, and went over to tear down the papers Aizawa could not reach.
Even though Aizawa threw every single letter into the trash after shredding each one up, it was too late. The school had read them. They had read his secrets. They had read his soul. A few had taken pictures. Wonderful.
Somehow, someone had given Yamada the letter Aizawa had written about him. Yamada, being the amazing friend he was, threw it away without giving it a glance.
Aizawa, embarrassed and ashamed of what he knew everyone else knew, walked the halls cautiously. He avoided insults and teasing and cat calls. But the last straw was on the boy's bathroom mirror in yellow paint.
AIZAWA IS GAY 4 YAMADA AND ALL MIGHT
Dear All Might,
I am fighting the urge to send this to you. I wouldn't call myself a fan of yours, though I am definitely an admirer. As a U.A. student, I study your tactics and motives. And though I do not approve on most of your public image, I still respect you highly.
It is weird to say I love you to someone you have never met before. But, really, I feel like I do love you. You are everything I am not. If I hate myself, it makes sense I should love you. Your smile, your fearlessness, your boldness, and your courage under fire. You hold the traits that knit society together.
I love you and I write this because I need to stop it. I don't even know you. But now that my feelings are on this paper, I am ready to move on
Best wishes, Symbol of Peace
Aizawa had been affected by the prejudices of the world in the worst way possible. Downtrodden for who he was and spited for what he could not control. To him, it seemed the entire universe was against him. But it wasn't. If he could open his eyes and look for the people who really mattered, they would always be there. But he didn't trust himself enough to take those steps.
He watched as Todoroki walked away, in slight confusion. That boy was brave. Braver than he would ever be.
Chapter 4: Yaoyorozu: I Don't Know Who I Am
This one is kinda personal. It is widely based off my own experience with questioning my sexuality (I'm Lesbian...and American😂) and not feeling very valid. Of course, I made it more lighthearted and less serious than it actually was. I didn't want it to be TOO personal.
"Mother...I…I think I am bisexual.”
“...Momo, dearest, if you…please keep that quiet. We don't want anyone to get the wrong idea.”
“What? But I -”
“But nothing. Feel free to do what you want as long as you are discrete. No talking about it from here on out. Now, ring the maid for some tea.”
That was how it went when Yaoyorozu came out to her mother just before the training camp. It obviously didn't go as planned.
At the beginning of the year, Yaoyorozu had been nervous, yes, but excited, with a grand future in front of her. She had anticipated trial and challenge but she never thought of...this.
On the left side of the cafeteria was Todoroki, talking to Midoriya and laughing about something. On the right was Jirou, slapping Kamanari away from playing with her ear jacks.
And Yaoyorozu was in the middle.
It had taken a while for Yaoyorozu to notice her, but when Jirou had fought beside her at the Unforeseen Simulation Joint (USJ), Yaoyorozu had taken a notice to the girl. She was funny, calm, nice, and smart. A good friend and partner to have beside you. They started chatting, listening to new music together, and sharing lunch. Normal friend stuff. It seemed like a budding friendship.
Todoroki, on the other hand, was hard to miss. It was common knowledge that he was the oblivious heartthrob of the class. But he treated the females with respect and nothing more. Yaoyorozu was no exception. She knew they would only just be friends, but that didn't stop her from admiring him, from however far a distance. So intelligent and mysterious. Honestly, who wouldn't fall for him?
It was just after the sports festival, after she teamed up with Todoroki in the cavalry battle and her feelings had become more serious, when she started noticing that Jirou's small compliments on her hair, her clothes, anything had begun to increase. And strange conversations that were very suggesting began to occur. Yaoyorozu wasn't an idiot, she had seen the little rainbow handkerchief in Jirou's pocket. She knew what was going on. Whenever Jirou got a little flirty with her, Yaoyorozu would pretend to take it as a compliment from one girl to another, faking not knowing a thing. Jirou seemed put out that the other hadn't noticed but, a little to Yaoyorozu’s irritation, she didn't stop trying.
It had gone like this for a while and one day Yaoyorozu realized she didn't really mind the flirting, the subtle hints of affection Jirou gave her. In fact, she was flattered and could feel herself heat up. She wanted to do the same with Jirou. To hint at a liking and that maybe they could be something…
What?! No! I like Todoroki.
And so she did. Todoroki was cool, calm, and collected. He was polite and respectful. And cute in a mysterious, “I have so many secrets” kind of way.
But so was Jirou…
But I am straight… right?
“Anyway, I know you have been through stuff like this, so what should I do?!”
Yaoyorozu found herself spilling her guts out trying to vent on the conflict in her head. In her heart.
I like Todoroki. Oh, Jirou is so amazing. He is so dreamy. She is so perfect. Todoroki knows exactly what to do. Jirou always does the right thing. Why can't I make up my mind?! I want them both!
Izuku Midoriya scratched the back of his neck, looking up at the taller girl's exasperated face. “To be honest, Yaoyorozu, I came from a different situation...”
“But your gay!” She blurted out. It was true. She had found him crying in the gym once and he had told her everything about his own story. But that bit is for another time.
Midoriya nodded sadly. “Yeah, but just like not all people are the same, not all gays are the same. We are people too, you know.”
“I didn't mean it like that,” Yaoyorozu defended. “It is just…I feel so invalid. I mean isn't it like cheating, liking girls and guys?” she sighed. “You are the only one I know who could help me. I know we aren't great friends but I do really and truly respect you, Midoriya.”
Midoriya laughed a little. “Thanks, Ya-Momo.”
She continued. “So, what should I…”
“Have you told your mom and dad? It really is just easier to not prolong that bit.”
Anger rose inside Yaoyorozu. “Yes. My mother told me she didn't care what I did as long as it didn't interfere with our social status or reputation. “
“I know, I know. It sounds horrible, but...you don't know my family.”
“Yeah, but -!’
She cut him off. “Midoriya, can you help me? Please?”
He calmed down. “If you want my opinion…”
“I do,” she encouraged.
“...then do what you feel you need to do. By the sound of it, I would say you are in fact bi, but you really need to decide that for yourself. Look, Yaoyorozu, I hate to be cliché but...listen to your heart. I made the wrong choice a long time ago and went with my head instead of my heart and I am still paying for it. Don't make the same mistake because….you might not get a second chance at this. And you aren't invalid for liking boys and girls. You have feelings for people, that's no crime,” Midoriya placed a hand on Yaoyorozu’s shoulder. “Just be yourself.”
Yaoyorozu was close to tears, overcome by the confliction inside of her. “But...How can I be myself if I don't know who I am?”
Midoriya gave her a hug. “You will...you will.”
“Ya-Momo?” Jirou asked. “Are you alright?”
I need to get out of here!
“Oh, yes, yes…” she swallowed and turned away. “Just...a sick stomach. Excuse me!” She rushed out, grabbing her things quickly. She could feel Jirou's eyes watching her as she rushed out and heard Ashido's voice talking excitedly before she slammed her dorm door and collapsed on her bed.
Tears spilled out and she shoved her face in her pillow. Why? Why?! Jirou was strong, talented, courageous, Yaoyorozu knew it was only a matter of time before she came out, but so soon? What was she going to do? She had always rationalized her feelings for Jirou as friendly, but now that she was officially out...now that Yaoyorozu could have her...she was scared to try.
Her parents had told her to keep quiet and going out with another girl who, as far as Yaoyorozu knew, was probably the first openly LGBTQ+ hero was definitely not quiet. Her parents loved her and were looking out for her, so wouldn't their instructions be what they knew was best?
No! If she wanted to be with anyone, Todoroki would be the best choice. She did have feelings for him, even if they weren't as strong as the ones she had for Jirou. Todoroki was the most logical choice. Maybe she should talk to him…
Todoroki is gay?!?!?!
HOLY CRAP! Yaoyorozu had not seen that one coming. Had he been talking to Jirou and she had encouraged him to tell everyone? But now that she knew…
Oh, God… I really, really need Jirou in my life.
The thought that she could never be anything more with Todoroki had kicked her back to her senses. She didn't just want Jirou, she needed her. She felt like such a fraud, more so then she had when she discovered she was bi.
Yesterday, she had pretended to have a stomach ache so she could get out if the room before she started crying. This morning she had used it as an excuse to avoid Jirou. Why though? Why had she done that?
Could she...could she really…
Oh my God….
Do I love Kyouka Jirou?
And without a second thought, she raced off to the girls dorms
MWA HA HA HA HA! You are gonna have to wait for the rest of their story!!!!!
Next time, "Midoriya : I'll Never Be Free"
Chapter 5: Midoriya: I'll Never Be Free
This one tugs at my heart and gives me the saddest feels. Love isn't always so happy and it can really, really, hurt. Unrequited love is real and it is hard. Life doesn't work put the way it should for the best of people, like Todoroki and Midoriya.
The green haired “problem child”, Izuku Midoriya, walked back to the dorms, clutching his notebook to his chest. He needed to stop obsessing over his childhood crush. Their old relationship would never be mended and it was time to move on. It wasn't that he couldn't move on, Midoriya just wouldn't move on. No one would ever love him the way Bakugou could have.
Shouto Todoroki’s serine voice surprised him but he didn't jump. He kept on walking. “Oh, hey Todoroki…” He cast his eyes downward, trying to hide his previous thoughts about Bakugou.
He totally knows about me and Bakugou...
“Look I am sorry for what I said earlier. I was frustrated at the time.”
Midoriya bit his lip. “It's okay, I had it coming for that drawing.” He tries to force a laugh. “Call it karma.”
A hand reached out and stopped him from walking. Todoroki pusged him against the nearest wall and Midoriya had no choice but to look him in the eye.The other intensely stared into his eyes as “No, Midoriya. I mean it. I am so sorry.”
“I-it's alright…..” Midoriya stuttered. He just looked at Todoroki for a moment, then flushes at their closeness. His eyes widened as Todoroki’s head came closer… And closer…
Huh? Wait! No, no, no, no, no!!!!
He wanted to shout at the other to stop. This was not okay! But it was too late. Todoroki’s lips were on his.
He held his breath and firmly shut his mouth so Todoroki wouldn't go any further. All he could do was wait for it to stop. After a moment, Todoroki pulled away and then awkwardly looked at Midoriya, still too close for the his liking.
His eyes are nice close though… Like brown quartz...and sapphire.
“I-I…” He choked out, shifting on his feet. There was a gab underneath Todoroki’s arms. He was small enough, he could go under and make a run for it.
Midorita’s eyes stung as tears came up. “I….I can't!” He pushed the other away slightly and ducked under his arm. He didn't run, but he walked away at a quick pace, clutching his notebook and his ugly yellow backpack Ashe went away. He glanced back and saw Todoroki’s head against the wall, shaking his head ever so slightly.
Thr tears began to fall. He could almost feel their friendship crumbling.
What did I just do?!
“Kacchan is really cute, Mommy.” A toddler Midoriya said as he played with a toy train set. Both of his parents, Inko and Hisashi, sat in their small kitchen and looked up at him.
“W-what, dearest?” His mother stuttered out, wide eyed.
“I like Kacchan.”
Inko looked a little unnerved. “You mean, you like young Katsuki as a friend? Right?...”
“I guess,” Midoriya shrugged, not really catching her meaning.
“I think you know what he means, Inko” Hisashi said coolly to his wife.
Inko looked away from her partner. “...I just think he is a little young for…”
Hisahi rolled his eyes and slammed the newspaper he had been. “What are you trying to do?!” He raged, glaring at the wide eyed Inko. Midoriya flinched, bit understanding what had triggered this. Inko didn't understand herself. “Are you trying to control his life?!”
Inko looked a little frightened at her spouse’s sudden outburst, but them she pulled herself together. “He is my son!”
“Doesn't mean you have to be in charge of every fucking feeling he has.”
A look of concern washed over Inko's face. “Hisashi,” she placed an arm on her husband's shoulder. “Calm down. Izuku -”
He pulled away. “You don't control me either.” He stormed off, into the room Inko and him shared and locked the door.
Midoriya was confused. Mommy and Daddy had argued before, but this was so quick and out of nowhere. He looked at the train in his hands, shrugged and continued playing.
Inko, however, couldn't brush off what had happened. She was just protecting her son's well being. Most people didn't discover their true sexuality until they were much older. She was just concerned. But Hisashi...there must have been something under the surface there...something he had bottled up and their son's comment had triggered him somehow.
Midoriya never really knew his father. He had run off with another man before he was four. Months of yelling, fighting, and occasionally hitting Inko had brought all the tension to a head and he abandoned them for one of his coworkers. The divorce papers arrived a week later. The worst part was that he and his boyfriend had moved in together only a few blocks away from Inko and Izuku.
His mom had taken it hard. She felt like she somehow wasn't good enough for him, that she had done something wrong. At the time, Midoriya was not old enough to see that his mother was in pain from the experience. But, as he got older and understood that his mother hurt because the father he didn't remember had not discovered he was gay until he was married to Inko. The situation had apparently been triggered by Midoriya expressing child-like feelings for Kacchan, his best friend (at the time). Midoriya could not recall any of this. He had liked guys for as long as he could remember, as a little kid he thought it was normal for everyone, and it was his parents realizing this that took them apart. At least it was an attributing factor.
Inko repeatedly said it wasn't Midoriya’s fault, but the more she said it the more he felt that she blamed him. Maybe it was his fault after all. But it was Hisashi that had hurt Inko, not Izuku. He could have stayed for a little while longer, talked to Inko that it wasn't going to work. But he didn't. He left the woman who loved him and his only child.
But what's done is done.
Midoriya couldn't take back being homosexual. He couldn't take back his feelings for Kacchan. He couldn't stop his father from rushing out the door. He couldn't fix his mother's hurt pride. Her broken heart.
He didn't have control over anything. Anyone.
Except for himself.
Middle school. Basically a synonym for hell. Well, at least in Midoriya’a case. Everyone knew he was gay, he had never been particularly ashamed of that, he had always been like that. But everyone knew he was quirkless too. He was the gay quirkless loosed whose dad abandoned him. He was either pitied or punched. Neither of those two did he like much.
The only person who showed him the smallest amount of kindness other than his mom and teacher was his ex best friend, Katsuki Bakugou, who Midoriya called Kacchan. Kacchan had severed most of their friendship over the years after discovering the other was quirkless. But every now and again, Midoriya could see the old Kacchan shine through. When he left his lunch and Kacchan shared his (but made sure no one saw). When Midoriya locked himself out of the apartment complex and Bakugou let him in (they did live in the as!e complex). When Kacchan called him “Izuku” when no one was around (sometimes).
Midoriya had nursed the biggest crush on Kacchan for years. And the blonde knew it. Neither talked about it, they just knew. Sure, when they were younger they had exchanged a few kisses and had held hands out of experimentation, but nothing big. No real confessions. Since it had been years since the two boys had held a civil conversation, Midoriya knew he should get rid of his infatuation because, honestly, he was just hurting himself.
Sometimes he like to pretend that Kacchan liked him too and they could live happily ever after. But it was obvious that he and his old acquaintance were too far gone to even be friends. And if Kacchan did have any tiny feeling for him, he would never, ever let anyone know. So he tried to forget. Midoriya dated a boy from another school for awhile but that didn't work out at all. He kept busy, started to learn to draw but ended up drawing Kacchan.
He was a mess.
His mother, being a victim of her husband's actions, cautioned Midoriya in his relationship choices, but she did her best not to control or lecture him about it. Ever since Hisashi, she had disapproved of the LGBTQ+ lifestyle, but if her son was born one way how could she convince him otherwise? She loved him and did not want to change one thing about him. Well, except for a tiny detail.
His feelings for Kacchan.
“Katsuki doesn't deserve you, Izuku,” she would say. “He has done nothing but hurt you all your life.”
“That isn't true,” Midoriya would defend.
“Yes is, and you know it.” Inko told him. “I just want what is best for you and I want you to keep away from that boy.”
“Okay, Mom.” He would whisper.
But one day, it happened.
Kacchan showed up to his door, with three white roses in his hand. He offered Midoriya a chance, but if he blew it, everything was over. It was now or never. Midoriya was demoted so demoted. Stars filled his eyes and he accepted the roses and he leaned over to kiss the blond. But out of the corner of his eye he saw his mother shaking her head. Slowly, with tears in his eyes, Midoriya gave the roses back. Kacchan told him he would never offer again and what was he doing? It took all of Midoriya’s will power to shut the door slowly in Kacchan's face.
“You made the right choice, honey.” Inko told him, kissing his forehead.
But he hadn't. He knew he hadn't. He ran to his room, crying for hours, burying his face into a pillow. His mother asked so little of him and he thought that obeying her one wish would make him feel good. He was wrong. But if he kept the door open and accepted Kacchan, he could have lost Inko. Instead, he lost Kacchan. Forever.
Midoriya felt so stupid for never actually getting over Kacchan. Felt low because his heart still hurt. Embarrassed that he still drew him and Kacchan holding hands, walking through tall grass as butterflies encircled them. Dreams, fantasies, fiction. It didn't help.
And Kacchan had been true to his word. He never offered again. Never treated him fairly again. The bullying increased. The kindness ended. Kacchan had decided that Midoriya was just what everyone was calling him. A gay, quirkless looser.
No escape at Middle School and no escape at U.A. Everywhere, Midoriya saw reminders of the good times Kacchan and he had experienced. His heart hurt.
No, his heart and pride was in pieces.
No, they were shattered.
One day, Midoriya broke down crying after gym. Having held back the tears as he paired with Kavchan, he let out the bottled up emotions as soon as everyone was gone. Or so he thought.
Momo Yaoyorozu had found him and he needed up telling her everything and then swearing her to secrecy. She had helped him by taking a bit of his burden away. And now, he had related her by listening to her own, more recent story.
She and Jirou had hit it off, of course. They loved each other, that much was obvious.
But besides being happy for the viral LGBTQ+ pride running viral, he had his own problem.
And it's name was Todoroki.
A week after the kiss and the two hadn't spoken a single word to each other. Midoriya almost broke the silence after he overhead him telling Jirou he had come out to Endeavour and had gotten himself a black eye (coincidentally at the same time), but Todoroki made a quick job of avoiding him.
Midoriya felt bad for him. First, Todoroki had kissed a loser like him. Two, Todoroki was probably embarrassed or at least angry at Midoriya’s reaction to the kiss. Three, whatever the other's feelings, his heart would always be Kacchan’s. Broken or not.
“Todoroki! Todoroki, please! Please stop!”
Modoriya was running down the halls after his friends who was blatantly ignoring him. But he caught up.
“Wow….you're fast!” Midoriya huffed out of air. “Or maybe I'm just slow. “
“In more ways than one,” Todoroki mumbled.
Midoriya stopped him. “Look, Todoroki, I...I didn't know. I didn't know about ANY of this. Okay? I didn't know about you or Jirou or Yaoyorozu, or anything else!”
Todoroki hung his head. “I know...I apologize. I had no right to...to do what I did when you and Uraraka -”
“What?!” Midoriya was shocked. “No, I'm not… I'm not straight, Todoroki.”
You could have heard a pen drop.
“Y...you're not?” Todoroki whispered, a glimmer of hope in his eye.
“No,” Midoriya replied. He continued, “But I'm not free either...I'll never be free.”
“Oh,” was all Todoroki said.
“I am so sorry, Todoroki. Please don't let this ruin our friendship!”
Todoroki nodded slowly and started walking again. Midoriya followed him.
“So,” Todoroki coughed awkwardly. “Are you...with...Bakugou?”
Midoriya shook his head. “I didn't say I was dating. I said I wasn't free.”
“I see,” Todoroki lifted his head up and looked his friend in the eye. “Well, then I am not free either.” He looked pointedly at Midoriya.
Midoriya stopped and turned. “Todoroki… I…”
He was stopped by said bogs hand gently coming up and touching his cheek. Tears filled the brown and blue eyes. He caressed Midoriya’s freckled face.
“I-I told, you I can't…”
“I know. But...if you could hold Bakugou one more time, would you?”
“Then, please, let me just hold you. Just this once...even if we...if we can never…” he trailed off, not wanting to say the last words.
Midoriya understood that Todoroki must be feeling the way he felt with Bakugou. He gave him a hug and Todoroki rested his head on Midoriya’s shoulder.
They stood there, not knowing they were being watched by two red eyes glowering them from across the hall.
I'm sorry, TodoDeku!!!!!! But this is what happens sometimes and I had to make life bittersweet. I definetly want to do a story on Bakugou. But that will have to come after "All Might: Keep Standing". I can't wait to write All Might's story. It is definetly going to be sad, but also more upbeat and hopeful than some of the previous stories.
Also, Happy Thanksgiving!!!!