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class 1-GAY

Chapter Text

3:48 PM

class 1-GAY

pikachu: so does anyone want to pass the english hw

Tenya Iida: Kaminari! You must be able to handle your own responsibilities!

Tenya Iida: How do you expect to become a hero if you cannot manage the task of doing a simple assignment?!

pikachu: .

pikachu: so who tryna pass the hw

izukuwu: i did it!

Izukuwu: i don’t know if it’s right, though…

pikachu: that’s cool man just send a pic

izukuwu: [1 attachment: english.png]

Tenya Iida: Shame on you, Midoriya. You cannot encourage his antics!

izukuwu: :(

izukuwu: i was just trying to be nice…

urcavity: oh noooo deku don’t be sad

izukuwu: :(

pikachu: iida dude don’t yell at midoriya

pikachu: he’s just helpin me man

knuckles: uncool, man

Tenya Iida: You’re all going to give me a stroke. I feel like I’m a 45-year-old father watching over his 18 children.

pikachu: LMAOOO

why so sero-ous: oh wow

why so sero-ous: midoriya blessed it

izukuwu: :)

ojiro: the balance has been restored

 

6:20

explodomurderking: ALRIGHT WHICH ONE OF YOU DICKHEADS PUT A FUCKING SNAPPING TURTLE IN THE GENERAL TOILETS

pikachu: PLEASE tell me it bit your ass

explodomurderking: IT BIT MY FUCKING BALLS SPARKY

pikachu: I UGLY LAUGHED

pikachu: LMAAOAOAOAOAOAO

explodomurderking: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE

explodomurderking: I SWEAR TO GOD IM GONNA BLOW UP WHOEVER THE FUCK DID IT

Hand Crusher: When you can actually walk, or…?

urcavity: i spit out my drink

pikachu & Hand Crusher

pikachu: it was me

Hand Crusher: Niiice.

pikachu: :)

class 1-GAY

knuckles: bro…. u must be in so much pain

acid trip: do u need a kiss to make it better

explodomurderking: FUCK YOU RACCOON EYES I’M IN FUCKING AGONY

acid trip: ;* luv u too explosion man

Chapter Text

7:27 PM

bakusquad

sparky: guys I lost my fuckin brownies

hard: how did u manage to do that

sparky: i don’t know man

sparky: i put the container down somewhere and now I don’t remember where it is

hard: have you maybe checked .. the kitchen

sparky: oh shit

class 1-GAY

izukuwu: hey these brownies in the kitchen are super delicious

pikachu: you ate them??

Izukuwu: yeah kacchan told me I could take some

pikachu: oh my god

pikachu: oh my god

pikachu: fuck

pikachu: how many

izukuwu: 3

pikachu:

pikachu: oh no

izukuwu: what’s wrong

izukuwu: hello????

izukuwu: kaminari???

bakusquad

E.T.: bakugou

E.T.: you did the kid so dirty

bakgugay: what :) could :) you :) possibly :) be :) talking :) about :)

class 1-GAY

izukuwu: guys I’m feeling kinda funny

ojiro: kaminari

ojiro: did you feed midoriya edibles

pikachu: i,,,, didn’t feed him,,,,

pikachu: fuck

izukuwu: edibles??? What

izukuwu: oh

izukuwu: oh no!!!

izukuwu: i ate weed!!!!

explodomurderking: FUCKIN

explodomurderking: “I ATE WEED”

izukuwu: kacchan that’s so uncool!!!!

izukuwu: why didn’t you tell me!!!!!!!

izukuwu: oh my god I’m gonna get in so much trouble

izukuwu: i did drugs!!! this is so bad!!!

invisalign: well now his anxiety’s even worse

izukuwu: shit

ojiro: woah

sugar daddy: what!!!

cat whisperer: oh gosh

✧・゚: *✧・゚:* aoyama  *:・゚✧*:・゚✧: this is… not magnifique

octoman: midoriya ….

octoman: cursed???

bird: join the dark side midoriya

airpods: yo what the fuck

airpods: kaminari those edibles were for us

why so sero-ous: yeah dude what the fuck

izukuwu: there’s still like 13 left

izukuwu: ohhhh goddddd

izukuwu: i think I’m gonna pass out

acid trip: kami how high was the concentration of pot in those brownies

pikachu: … High

pikachu: half of one would’ve been enough to get someone off the shits

acid trip: shit

Tenya Iida: It seems that I have missed a lot.

Tenya Iida: Kaminari! First cheating on homework and now drugs?!

Tenya Iida: And Midoriya ate them, no less!

explodomurderking: idk what you guys are talking about

explodomurderking: this is fucking hilarious

explodomurderkng: [1 attachment:hesreallyfuckinghigh.mp4]

urcavity & Hand Crusher saved a video from explodomurderking!

Hand Crusher: He’ll be so embarrassed when he sobers up.

urcavity: god that’s funny

Tenya Iida: Todoroki, Uraraka! We are supposed to be Midoriya’s FRIENDS!

urcavity: we are

Hand Crusher: Which is exactly why we had to save that video.

izukuwu: hhhh guys

izukuwu: i feel like

izukuwu: like I’m flying

izukuwu: but falling at the same time

izukuwu: wow kacchans so pretty

explodomurderking: what

pikachu: what

why so sero-ous: wh

acid trip: LOL

knuckles: uhhh

izukuwu: like aesthetically

izukuwu: his jawline is so nice

izukuwu: and his skin is so pale

izukuwu: kinda like todoroki

izukuwu: todoroki is also very pretty

Hand Crusher: Thank you, Midoriya.

Izukuwu: can osmewon carr y me too my r oom

Hand Crusher: I’ll come, Midoriya.

izukuwu: haha it’s like ur a prince

izukuwu: from one of those cheesy princess stories

izukuwu: my hero

Hand Crusher: If that’s what makes you happy, Midoriya.

 


 

“Todoroki, why are you so pretty?”

“Genes, I suppose.”

“No silly, I don’t mean your legs! I meant your face!”

“Not -snort- not those kind of jeans, Midoriya.”

“You just snorted! That’s so cute.”

“Thank you, Midoriya.”

Chapter Text

14:12

dekusquad

broccoli man: guys

broccoli man: i just woke up???

pure-avity: well I guess that’s what happens when you get smacked as fuck

broccoli man: i feel like i’m about to collapse

broccoli man: i’m so hungry

broccoli man: oh wait

broccoli man: todoroki you didn’t have to leave me snacks !!!

Daddy Issues: Yes, but I wanted to.

broccoli man: thank you <3333

Daddy Issues: No problem.

what can that tongue do: are you feeling alright now, midoriya?

broccoli man: yeah I ate some snacks

broccoli man: i’m going into the kitchen now for breakfast

broccoli man: lunch

broccoli man: oh my god

what can that tongue do: what?

pure-avity: u ok deku?

Daddy Issues: Midoriya?

Tenya Iida: As Midoriya’s close friend, I felt the need to help him recover from this incident.

Tenya Iida: Starting off by forcing Bakugou to make some katsudon.

broccoli man: it looks so good

broccoli man: i think I’m about to cry

broccoli man: guys LOOK

broccoli man: [1 attachment: katsudon.jpeg]

broccoli man: i'm literally drooling thinking about eating it

pure-avity: so eat it!!!

broccoli man: what if he poisoned it

pure-avity: oh shoot

Tenya Iida: I shall go undercover and ask around.

Tenya Iida & knuckles

Tenya Iida: Kirishima, would you happen to know if Bakugou may have added anything that could harm Midoriya into the katsudon?

knuckles: nah, man

knuckles: bakubro wouldn’t do that, he isn’t evil

Tenya Iida: Ah, my apologies! Thank you.

dekusquad

Tenya Iida: He did not, in fact, poison the katsudon. It is safe to eat.

broccoli man: i already ate half of it

broccoli man: uraraka you’ve got to come down and try some

pure-avity: already omw

15:30

class 1-GAY

Tenya Iida: Hello, class! Just a heads-up that Aizawa has permitted extra training in the large field for the next three hours. It is optional but advised. See you there!

18:56

izukuwu & urcavity

izukuwu: uraraka help

urcavity: what’s wrong

izukuwu: [1 attachment: kacchan.jpeg]

urcavity: HOOOOO BOY

urcavity: i want him to suffocate me with those pecs

izukuwu: you have a girlfriend

urcavity: that doesn’t change the fact that bakugou is a hunk of a man

urcavity: even if his personality makes me want to vomit

izukuwu: ok but.. help

izukuwu: we’re alone in the locker room?? where did everyone go

izukuwu: i wanna thank him for the katsudon but it’s … really awkward????

urcavity: it’s a sign

urcavity: go get some dick babe

izukuwu: OCHAKO

urcavity: ;)

izukuwu: ohmygod it got worse

urcavity: how

izukuwu: todoroki just walked in???

urcavity: ugh a whole wet dream

izukuwu: ochako please

urcavity: uhh

urcavity: threesome?

izukuwu: goodbye

urcavity: tell me how big bakugou’s dick is!!!

izukuwu: GOODBYE

urcavity: at least send me a picture of todoroki, too

izukuwu: jeez

izukuwu: the things i do for you

urcavity: <3

izukuwu: [1 attachment: todoroki.jpeg]

urcavity: hhhhhhhhh

urcavity: what a man

izukuwu: it’s so awkward

izukuwu: i thought that they’d be at each other’s throats but it’s just silent as we change

urcavity: you should be thankful

urcavity: bakugou could be blowing shit up

izukuwu: i think they might be sick?

urcavity: why?

izukuwu: the silence is strange enough, at least for kacchan, but they’re also really pink

izukuwu: maybe they have fevers?

urcavity: oh deku

urcavity: you poor, naïve soul

izukuwu: huh?

izukuwu: uraraka?

izukuwu: hello???

izukuwu: ok nvm kacchan’s not quiet anymore

izukuwu: “why are you freaks staring at me?”

izukuwu: help

Chapter Text

6:15

class 1-GAY

acid trip: guys let’s play smash or pass

ojiro: absolutely not

explodomurderking: no

acid trip: whyyyy :(((

Iida Tenya: We have homework, Ashido.

bird: you’re going to ask us about each other and make it super awkward and unbearable.

Iida Tenya: Also that.

acid trip: but I’m booooored

pikachu: i'm down

why so sero-ous: hell yah

urcavity: yes.

invisalign: uraraka????

urcavity: i like drama.

izukuwu: she’s an instigator

acid trip: yaaaaaaay ok we’re playing

acid trip: smash or pass bakugou

explodomurderking: WHAT THE FUCK ALIEN BITCH

knuckles: smash

pikachu: smash

urcavity: smash

invisalign: smash

pepe: maybe if i wasn’t a lesbian

airpods: ^^^^

why so sero-ous: smash

explodomurderking: …. what the fuck

pikachu: your personality may be trash but you’re hot as fuck, man

why so sero-ous: yeah

acid trip: hell yeah

explodomurderking: literally

explodomurderking: what

pikachu: it means half this class wants to ride you, blasty

explodomurderking: EHHHHHHH???????????

acid trip: moving on!!!!

acid trip: @explodomurderking now u give a name!!!

explodomurderking: as if i’m gonna play in your stupid fucking game

Hand Crusher: I guess Bakugou’s just too lame for this game. I’ll go, if you’d like me to.

explodomurderking: THE FUCKS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN HALF-N-HALF?????

Hand Crusher: I said what I said.

pikachu : i

airpods: skull emoji

explodomurderking: I’LL SHOW YOU FUCKIN LAME YOU FUCKING FIRECRACKER POPSICLE

explodomurderking: fuckin… i don’t know smash or pass sparky

why so sero-ous: ngl i’d smash

why so sero-ous: no homo

pikachu: bro…

why so sero-ous: bro….

explodomurderking: fuckin christ

airpods: objectively speaking

airpods: he is not… bad looking

airpods: maybe if I wasn’t a lesbian and he wasn’t such a dumbass

pikachu: that is literally the nicest thing you have ever said to me

airpods: nvm

urcavity: smash

knuckles: smash

knuckles: FULL homo

pikachu: <3

knuckles: <3

urcavity: omg guys

urcavity: ik this isn’t related to what we’re talking abt

urcavity: but I thought of a bomb-ass nickname

izukuwu: yeah???

urcavity changed their name to gravity falls

izukuwu: wow

gravity falls: it’s heckin sick

izukuwu: yeah it is!!!

Hand Crusher: If we’re changing nicknames, then..

Hand Crusher changed their name to PepsiCola

ojiro: is that a homestuck reference

PepsiCola: No, but I hate that you thought that.

bird: i did too

PepsiCola: Every day we stray further from God’s light.

pikachu: dope!!! nickname changes!!!!

pikachu changed their name to sparky

sparky: spark spark

acid trip: did we just forget that we were in the middle of a game

knuckles: kinda

invisalign: yes

acid trip: i am surrounded by idiots

explodomurderking: you’re one to talk.

acid trip: touché

acid trip: ok guys let’s make this a little more risqué

acid trip: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama *:・゚*:・゚: oh ho ho?

octoman: that face frightens me

acid trip: ok so

acid trip: if u have the balls

acid trip: name one person from 1-A that you’d fuck

acid trip: no strings attached

acid trip: or kiss, if you’re not into that

ojiro: this is not a good idea

acid trip: oh I know

acid trip: who’s in!!

acid trip: me!!!

invisalign: ojiro

urcavity: hagakure was READY

ojiro: wha

ojiro: really

invisalign: yes

ojiro: oh

ojiro: wow

acid trip: ok

acid trip: while ojiro has an existential crisis

acid trip: somebody else go

gravity falls: bakugou

octoman: don’t you have a girlfriend

gravity falls: yes

pepe: i've accepted it

pepe: for me its yaomomo

3D printer: oh wow

3D printer: i'm flattered <3

3D printer: if I had to choose

3D printer: todoroki

airpods & 3D printer

airpods: “if I had to choose” headass

airpods: that boy is the star of your straight wet dreams

3D printer: babe!!!

airpods: it’s true

3D printer: well .

airpods: el oh el

3D printer: you know I love you though, right?

airpods: duh <3

3D printer: <3

class 1-GAY

PepsiCola: Thanks?

PepsiCola: For me, I suppose it would be Midoriya.

izukuwu: eh?????

octoman: you’re gay???

PepsiCola: Bicolored and bisexual, thank you.

sparky: hell yeah !!! bisexuals unite!!!

sparky: honestly though,,, big same for midoriya

knuckles: yeah

octoman: honestly … yeah

gravity falls: if there was platonic fucking

gravity falls: yeha

ojiro: … yeah …

invisalign: heck yeah

gravity falls: i'd suck his dick if he asked – hatsume mei

izukuwu: what!!!!

explodomurderking: deku isn’t… the ugliest fucker in this class

explodomurderking: but I’d still murder him in a heartbeat

izukuwu: WHAT !!!!!

knuckles: you ok midoriya??

izukuwu: i don’t know!!!

Chapter Text

08:03

class 1-GAY

Todoroki: Merry early Christmas

Todoroki: Go to the common room for a gift

ojiro: it’s only august???

Todoroki: Merry early Christmas

sparky: hey quick question

sparky: the fuck

urcavity: todoroki

urcavity: did you actually get everybody in the class airpods

Todoroki: Absolutely.

Todoroki: It smelled a little too much like broke in here

why so sero-ous: OH MY GOD

acid trip: i can’t tell if ur joking or not

Todoroki: I am.

Todoroki: I just wanted to piss my father off.

Todoroki: Happy Kwanza.

invisalign: why did you want to piss off endeavor?

izukuwu: frick endeavor!!!

Todoroki: Yeah

Todoroki: Fuck Endeavor

invisalign: ok

knuckles: this is so nice wtf

knuckles: everybody say thank u Todoroki!!!!

sparky: i’m platonically in love with Todoroki

urcavity: mood

3D printer: yes!!!

why so sero-ous: thank u Todoroki!!!!!!!!!

ojiro: u rock dude

Todoroki: Oh.

Todoroki: You’re all welcome????

01:45

sparky: guys

sparky: what would happen if like

sparky: guys had to give birth out of their dicks

sparky: like imagine while giving birth your dick is just stretched out around the baby

sparky: you’d literally have a massive dick

sparky: and then you’d need surgery to get your penis skin normal again because there’s no goin back

sparky: if you didn’t have foreskin before you’d definitely have it now

explodomurderking: what

explodomurderking: the

explodomurderking: fuck

sparky: it’s even f unnnier if you imagine a baby head popping out of a dick

explodomurderking: i

explodomurderking: what

sparky: so whyre u up

explodomurderking: i would yell at you but??? how do I respond

ojiro: i am SO concerned

Iida Tenya: Why are we talking about penises? You guys should be asleep.

Iida Tenya: Also, Kaminari… please see a therapist.

sparky: KJHGUHGUOGHUGQI CMON GUYS

sparky: PENIS BABY

why so sero-ous: penis baby

ojiro: jesus Christ

Iida Tenya: You guys are going to give me a migraine.

10:02

acid trip: PENIS BABY

airpods: penis baby

knuckles: penis baby!!!!

Todoroki: Penis baby.

cat whisperer: (*ಠ_ಠ;)

explodomurderking: literally what the fuck is wrong with you guys

ojiro: why is that a THING

bird: why are any of us a THING. why are we alive. is there a point in living

octoman: yami pls..

octoman: chill

acid trip: yami????

acid trip: YAMI????

octoman: yes. we are friends. i gave him a nickname

acid trip: sounds gay but ok

acid trip: sounds fake but ok****

octoman: :/

bird: no gay

bird: just platonic affection

sparky: guys bein dudes??

bird: sure

acid trip: lame

knuckles: sounds pretty gay to me

Iida Tenya: Even if they are dating, it is none of our business to butt into their personal lives.

Iida Tenya: Respect boundaries.

acid trip: we were jokin iida !!!

Iida Tenya: I know, I’m just saying.

13:34

explodomurderking: why the fuck is mic the only one that gives us hw

explodomurderking: first of all it’s summer

explodomurderking: second of all he’s literally the only fucking one assigning shit to us

izukuwu: its very easy to forget a language if you don’t practice speaking it for numerous months at a time

explodomurderking: i didn’t fucking ask you, stupid deku

izukuwu: then who were you asking

explodomurderking: fuckin nobody

izukuwu: then don’t message the chat if you don’t want a response

izukuwu: :)

cat whisperer: (*〇□〇)……!

acid trip: holy shit

ojiro: damn

sparky: is it just me or is midoriya being passive aggressive kinda hot

sparky: no? just me?

knuckles: no it definitely is

explodomurderking: the fuck

explodomurderking: i do what I fucking want dumbass

why so sero-ous: woah what

why so sero-ous: I don’t hear any explosions???

why so sero-ous: is bakubro ok

sparky: he’s not trying to fight midoriya bc he knows midoriya can beat his ass

explodomurderking: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING FUCK

explodomurderking: IS THAT A FUCKING CHALLENGE

izukuwu: please no

explodomurderking: you know what

explodomurderking: fuck this

sparky: we’re just joking bakubabe

knuckles: bakugou??

izukuwu & explodomurderking

izukuwu: kacchan are you okay?

explodomurderking: the fuck is it to you

explodomurderking: we’re not fucking friends

izukuwu: maybe not

izukuwu: but that was quite the abrupt exit

explodomurderking: it doesn’t fucking mean anything

izukuwu: we may not be close

izukuwu: but you can talk to me

izukuwu: i may not fully get how you’re feeling but I have some kind of understanding

izukuwu: i may not be kirishima, but I still know you

explodomurderking: the fuck do you know

explodomurderking: we haven’t been friends in 12 years and we’re not gonna be friends anytime soon

izukuwu: kacchan please

izukuwu: just

izukuwu: if you need to let loose and rant and you feel like nobody will understand you

izukuwu: i'm here

explodomurderking: whatever nerd

izukuwu: if you’re upset about kaminari’s comment

izukuwu: he was joking

izukuwu: he wasn’t calling you weak, or whatever you think he was doing

izukuwu: so don’t think that our classmates are looking down at you

izukuwu: we know you’re strong as hell

explodomurderking: jesus fucking Christ just stop spamming my messages you fucking nerd

izukuwu: sorry, kacchan

izukuwu: see you later

explodomurderking: whatever, dumb deku

18:21

explodomurderking: thanks, I guess

Chapter Text

15:23

class 1-GAY

izukuwu: guys

izukuwu: i’m pretty sure all might is getting it on with my mom???

izukuwu: help?????

urcavity: WHAT

izukuwu: he was at my house when I got home

izukuwu: even though my visit was a surprise

izukuwu: and he kinda looked disheveled

izukuwu: now I’m hiding in my room

sparky: no way man all might is banging aizawa

invisalign: isn’t aizawa with ms joke???

explodomurderking: aizawa is fucking mic you absolute buffoons

explodomurderking: also I can’t believe all might is fucking deku’s mom

izukuwu: ohhh myyyyy gooooooddddddd

sparky: i think we’re all missing the point

sparky: aizawa’s a fucking slut

izukuwu: YOU SHOULDN’T TALK ABOUT OUR TEACHER LIKE THAT

explodomurderking: AIZAWAS A SLUT

PepsiCola: Jesus Christ.

explodomurderking: i’m gonna ask about it

knuckles: BAKUGOU NO

sparky: BAKUGOU YES

Pros

louis vuitton eyebags: why the fuck did bakugou just ask me who I’m sleeping with

rated r: your kids know you’re a slut

louis vuitton eyebags: stop calling me a slut

Sniper no Sniping: You kinda are

LOUD: YOU ARE A SLUT

louis vuitton eyebags: jesus fucking christ

jokester: aw shouta

jokester: we still love u

jokester: even if u are sleeping with like 10 people at the same time

gunhead: aren’t you one of them???

jokester: yes

louis vuitton eyebags: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

rated r: how’s the sex

jokester: fantastic

rated r: nice

rated r: who else is sleeping with aizawa say aye

LOUD: AYE

wings: i’ve done it in the past

wings: not my proudest moment

louis vuitton eyebags: fuck you too

Enji Todoroki: Eraserhead is sleeping with All Might as well.

rated r: WHAT

Captain Japan: Wow

Toll: What

Captain Japan & Enji Todoroki

Captain Japan: I’m the symbol of peace for years upon years and THIS is what I get?

Captain Japan: This is the extent of your hatred for me?

Enji Todoroki: Yes.

Pros

rated r: SHOUTA

louis vuitton eyebags: oh my god

rated r: YOU’RE FUCKING THE SYMBOL OF PEACE????

Captain Japan: Former* symbol of peace

rated r: what the FUCK

13: all might likes dick?

Captain Japan: Bye

Chapter Text

16:30

class 1-GAY

sparky:  guys I’m kinda curious

why so sero-ous: oh no

sparky: like

sparky: if aizawa’s a slut

sparky: does that mean he has a big dick

sparky: like his dick has to be GOOD

sparky: he’s bangin all might

izukuwu: oh my god

acid trip: what if he’s a bottom

sparky: oh shit that’s true

izukuwu: guys please

sugar daddy: the one time I check the group chat you guys are wondering how big aizawa’s dick is

sugar daddy: see this is why kouda and I never come on

cat whisperer: Σ(‘◉⌓◉’)

knuckles: guys I think we should respect our teachers and their privacy more …

invisalign: there was this one time I was out late and accidentally saw him without his sweatshirt

invisalign: he’s kinda ripped

invisalign: I couldn’t really believe it

invisalign: I took a picture

invisalign: [1 attachment: lowkeydaddy?.jpg]

acid trip: aizawa’s a HUNK

izukuwu: ohhh myyyy goooooood guys PLEASE stop

why so sero-ous: he has a nice butt

why so sero-ous: he might be a vers

explodomurderking: no u fucking dumbass that’s for dom/sub

explodomurderking: ur trying to say that he’s a switch

ojiro: guys why are we talking about our teachers sex life

Iida Tenya: I just checked my phone after training for a few hours, and this is what I come back to?

Iida Tenya: We cannot be thirsting over our own teacher! A pro hero, no less!

Iida Tenya: Also, please stop discussing his sex life.

ojiro: please

airpods: why do I hang out with any of you

sparky: because u love us <3

airpods: now idk abt that

21:02

acid trip: yo midoriya

izukuwu: yes??

acid trip: how is ur ass so fat

izukuwu: huh

acid trip: your ass

acid trip: jiggles

acid trip: how did u get such a fat ass

izukuwu: um

izukuwu: since my power move requires me to train my legs, i have to work out my glutes too???

izukuwu: i guess it toned my butt????

acid trip: fascinating

acid trip: teach me ur ways senpai

izukuwu: please don’t call me that uihagkgu

izukuwu: next time it’s leg day for me I’ll let you know :)

gravity falls: lmk too

knuckles: me too!!!

izukuwu: kirishima???

knuckles: big butts are super manly!!!!

izukuwu: no judgement here!!!

2:39

sparky: kirishima with a fat ass?? god what are u punishing me for

sparky: fuck

knuckles: god didn’t bless me with a fat ass because he was afraid of the power I’d have

sparky: i’m short circuiting thinking about it

explodomurderking: god didn’t give you a fat ass because you’d look fucking stupid shitty hair

knuckles: my best bro …

knuckles: conspiring against me …

explodomurderking: you’re using some big words there

explodomurderking: don’t hurt your brain

knuckles: AW BAKUBRO ARE U CONCERNED FOR ME

explodomurderking: STOP PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH

sparky: i’ll put something else in your mouth

sparky: FUCK

sparky: I DID NOT MEAN TO SEND THAT

sparky: IT WAS A JOKE I SWEAR

sparky: FUCK

why so sero-ous: NICE

airpods: stupidity 100

acid trip: kaminari!!! how dare u imply that bakugou is a bottom when he is CLEARLY a switch

Iida Tenya: Guys, please, we’re only 16…

explodomurderking: I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU ALL

airpods: u wont

izukuwu: it’s 3 in the morning

izukuwu: please sleep :(

acid trip: AAAAAAAAAAAAA sorry midoriya

knuckles: sorry mido!!!!

sparky: sorry  :(

explodomurderking: DON’T FUCKIN TELL ME WHAT TO DO DEKU

izukuwu: kacchan please

explodomurderking: I DON’T ANSWER TO ANYBODY

izukuwu: i bet u can’t go to sleep before I can

explodomurderking: fucking watch me u useless shit

why so sero-ous: HOLY SHIT

sparky: watt the fuck

sparky: haha funny joke

acid trip: bakugou whisperer????

airpods: no that’s kirishima

airpods: midoriya holy shit how did u do that

izukuwu: i’m tired and grumpy I can do anything

izukuwu: sleep guys!!! Please <3

airpods: night mido

izukuwu: goodnight!!!!!

 

Chapter Text

15:24

class 1-GAY

explodomurderking: ICYTHOT WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY STAPLER

PepsiCola changed their screenname to Icythot

Icythot: Whatever could you mean?

explodomurderking: I FUCKING MEAN THAT YOU FROZE THIS SHIT

Icythot: I will not accept these lies and slander. I did no such thing

explodomurderking: [1 attachment:MYFUCKINGSAPLER.png]

explodomurderking: YES YOU FUCKING DID

Icythot: Blatant lies. Where is your proof

explodomurderking: I JUST FUCKING SENT SOME

Icythot: Where is it

explodomurderking: I JUST SENT A FUCKING PICTURE

Icythot: I see no picture

explodomurderking: IF YOU WANNA SEE SOME PROOF SO BADLY I’LL FUCKING SHOW IT TO YOU IN YOUR ROOM YOU LITTLE BITCH

Icythot: Woah, at least take me out to dinner first

explodomurderking: SHUT THE FUCK UP

acid trip: sexual tension has entered the chat

explodomurderking: BEAT IT RACCOON EYES

izukuwu: kacchan please calm down (ノ´ロ`)ノ

explodomurderking: FUCK OFF DEKU

izukuwu:  ( ≧Д≦)

explodomurderking: STAY AWAY FROM MY SHIT HALFIE

Icythot: I never touched it in the first place but ok I guess

Daddy Issues & broccoli man

Daddy Issues: Gym, 18:00

broccoli man: you got it todo!!!!! (*^▽^*)

bakusquad

E.T.: guys holy shit mido and todo are SO gay

hard: do tell

E.T.: they’re wrestling in the training room

E.T.: but also staring into each other’s eyes lovingly

detective pikachu: pics or it didn’t happen

E.T.: [1 attachment: gay.png]

detective pikachu: that’s pretty gay

hard: guys maybe we shouldn’t assume shit about them?? they could just be really close friends

hard: and I’m p sure mido was todoroki’s first friend period so like ..

bondage: no that’s pretty gay

E.T.: @bakugay blasty you’re the gay one here

E.T.: is this gay or not

bakugay: does it fucking seem like I care

E.T.: woah why u mad blasty boy

bakugay: stop annoying me with this irrelevant shit

detective pikachu: ok anyways

detective pikachu: i’m gonna try smuggle alcohol!!!

bondage: how u gonna do that, dude

detective pikachu: somehow

20:04

class 1-GAY

sparky: yo !!!!!!!!

sparky: i got booze!!!!!!!!!!

sparky: don’t ask how don’t ask where just appreciate!!!!!!!

sparky: let’s get fuckin WRECKED

acid trip: holy shit you actually did it

why so sero-ous: NIIIICE

explodomurderking: you guys are fucking idiots

gravity falls: can I get some

sparky: FUCK YEAH

izukuwu: ochako!!!

gravity falls: midoooo it’ll be fun

izukuwu: iida’s gonna murder you

gravity falls: iida is knocked out

Iida Tenya: I am not knocked out.

gravity falls: oh damn

sparky: PLEASE DON’T SNITCH

acid trip: please

Iida Tenya: Fortunately for you guys, Aizawa is out on a business trip.

Iida Tenya: I will not alert any adults that you have snuck alcohol onto the premises. However, I will be acting as a guardian so nothing gets out of hand.

Iida Tenya: Do not get “wrecked”, please.

sparky: ur the best

why so sero-ous: GO IIDA

PepsiCola: Go Iida.

sparky: EVERYBODY COME TO THE COMMON ROOM

hard > bakugay

hard: are you going?

bakugay: fuck no

bakugay: i’m not putting up with a bunch of drunk fucking lame ass losers

hard: can you please come

bakugay: no

hard: bakubrooo cmon

hard: it’s gonna be fun

hard: we can let loose

hard: it’s a friday night

hard: we’ll be chillin with our friends

bakugay: those idiots aren’t my friends

hard: please :(

bakugay:  i'm only coming because I know deku is gonna do some stupid shit

bakugay: and I want to record it

hard: :D

bakugay: bye

hard: when will you be here

bakugay: whenever the fuck I get there

hard: okkkk see u

bakugay: whatever

class 1-GAY

acid trip: guys guys holy SHIT

acid trip: uraraka is giving tsuyu a lap dance holy shit

acid trip: oh my god

acid trip: this is kinda hot

acid trip: ngl

sparky: is iida crying

izukuwu: he’s stressed

why so sero-ous: i feel so bad

why so sero-ous: he’s doing his best

why so sero-ous: [1 attachment: iida.mp4]

 


 

Iida: “No, no, no, Uraraka, please don’t do that! You are surrounded by our classmates! We are underage! Please stop, oh my God, Ashido! Don’t sit on the counter! Dear Lord, I’m about to have a stroke.”

Sero (recording): “You good, man?”

Iida: “No. Jesus, Kirishima! Have you no shame? St-stop doing that with Kaminari! Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. I’m not old enough to have a heartattack.”

 


 

acid trip: WHAT ARE KIRI AND SPARKY DOING

why so sero-ous: … do u want to know

acid trip: YES

why so sero-ous: kami’s kinda like

why so sero-ous: twerking on kiri

why so sero-ous: god what a mess

acid trip: are you gonna stop them

why so sero-ous: i probably should

why so sero-ous: but I won’t

why so sero-ous: i’ll let kami get his dick

sparky: he ll yeh imm getin tha t dikc

Iida Tenya: NO!

Iida Tenya: I draw the line here! No “getting that dick” as you so vulgarly put it!

Iida Tenya: You are incapacitated! As the class representative and as your friend I refuse to let you make such a large decision while unable to fully consent. No oral or penetrative sex, please!

sparky: you’re such a dad, iida >:(

Iida Tenya: Someone has to be!

Iida Tenya: I will not allow you guys to do something that you may regret in the morning. That is my job.

izukuwu: awwwwww tenyaaaa

izukuwu: lighten uuuuupppppppp

izukuwu: drink the sangriaaaa

Iida Tenya: Midoriya, you drank?!

izukuwu: ….no

Iida Tenya: Jesus Christ.

sugar daddy: since when did ojiro and shinsou have something going on???

airpods: what???

sugar daddy: they are

sugar daddy: dancing suggestively

sugar daddy: sober ojiro would hate himself

sparky: ngl shinsou’s hot

sparky: like I’d tap that

knuckles: honestly

knuckles: yeah

Icythot: Shinsou holds a lot of similarities to Aizawa

Icythot: Makes me wonder

izukuwu: shou PLEASE

Chapter Text

00:04

 


 

“Ugh, someone get this fucking idiot off me.”

“But Ka-chuki, you’re so warm…”

“What the fuck did you just call me?”

 


 

class 1-GAY

explodomurderking: SOMEONE COME DRAG DEKU OFF ME

acid trip: but u guys look so cute

explodomurderking: I’m gonna murder deku, then I’m gonna murder you

gravity falls: aaaaaaand deku’s on the ground

gravity falls: now he’s crying

ojiro: look what you did bakugou

explodomurderking: just tell him to shut the fuck up and he’ll be fine

explodomurderking: god I need tequila

izukuwu: the ground is hard

Icythot: Midoriya are you okay

izukuwu: todoooooooo

izukuwu: did you drink

Icythot: A little

izukuwu: yay come drink with me

Icythot: I think you need to stop drinking now, Midoriya

izukuwu: but how else would I drown all my struggles

Icythot: What

izukuwu: what

 


 

“That’s enough for you, Midoriya. Come on, let’s get up. Do you want me to take me to your room?”

“Nooooo, Todoroki, don’t take me away! I’m having fun!”

“Alright, alright. I guess I’ll just stay by your side until the party’s over.”

“Nice, nice. Wow, your eyes are so nice. So pretty.”

“…”

“It’s super cool that you have two different color eyes! So cool, like you. So pretty. One looks like a crystal, and the other reminds me of hazelnuts. You probably have mixed color eyes because of your parents and your quirk. So cool.You’re so pretty. Do you know that you’re super pretty?”

“Midoriya, you’re muttering.”

“Oh, sorry. You’re just really pretty. So beautiful.”

choking

“Oh my god, are you okay? Todoroki!”

 


class 1-GAY

acid trip: update I will be live vlogging everything that’s happening

acid trip: okay we’re playing spin the bottle

acid trip: blasty is yelling

acid trip: he’s calling us extras, nothing new

acid trip: he was refusing to play and sparky called him a pussy

acid trip: holy shit he’s not exploding

acid trip: I guess he’s too tired

acid trip: he’s screaming

acid trip: ok anyways

acid trip: ojiro’s spinning

acid trip: OH

acid trip: it landed on hagakure

acid trip: how do you kiss an invisibile person

acid trip: well idk but ojiro managed

acid trip: next in line is shinsou

acid trip: oh shit it landed on ojiro that’s so weird

acid trip: YO THEY STARTED KISSING SWEETLY AND NOW THEYRE MAKING OUT

acid trip: wow they’re getting really into it

acid trip: ok they stopped but I’m pretty sure they both have raging boners

acid trip: I’m tired of this I’ll just record

acid trip: [ 1 attachment: spinthebottle.mp4 ]

acid trip: HOLY SHIT THAT WAS WILD

invisibitch & furry tail man

invisibitch: where did u go

invisibitch: oji

furry tail man: my room

invisibitch: u went up alone?

furry tail man: with shinsou

invisibitch: oh?

invisibitch: oh ho ho?

furry tail man: bye

invisibitch: don’t get pregnant

furry tail man: i don’t even know how to begin to try to comprehend that but ok

Pros

Vlad King: Eraser are you aware that your children are having a party in the dorm rooms and common area?

louis vuitton eyebags: yes

louis vuitton eyebags: as long as none of them get hurt or die then I’m good

Vlad King: You’re not coming back yet?

louis vuitton eyebags: fuck no

Vlad King: Are you gonna punish them?

louis vuitton eyebags: i’ll let them chill this time

louis vuitton eyebags: i’ll just put them through hell when school resumes

Captain Japan: Yes, let them explore themselves and experiment while they’re teenagers!

louis vuitton eyebags: ok

FUCKING LOUD ASS BITCH & fucking quiet ass bitch

FUCKING LOUD ASS BITCH: WHEN WILL YOU BE HOME

fucking quiet ass bitch: in a few days

FUCKING LOUD ASS BITCH: OK

FUCKING LOUD ASS BITCH: I MISS YOU

fucking quiet ass bitch: miss you too

FUCKING LOUD ASS BITCH: TOSHI MISSES YOU TOO

FUCKING LOUD ASS BITCH: AND EMI

fucking loud ass bitch: fuck

fucking loud ass bitch: i’ll talk to them later

FUCKING LOUD ASS BITCH: OK

FUCKING LOUD ASS BITCH: I LOVE YOU SHOU

fucking quiet ass bitch: me too zashi

FUCKING LOUD ASS BITCH: CALL?

fucking quiet ass bitch: yeah

01:35

class 1-GAY

3D printer: is everybody in their rooms?

acid trip: the bakusquad is all together

explodomurderking: STOP FUCKING CALLING IT THAT

10:30

E.T. & detective pikachu

E.T.: u got dick?

detective pikachu: i sucked one

E.T.: FUCK YEAH

broccoli man & pure-avity

broccoli man: OH YMG DO

broccoli man: URARAKA

broccoli man: OCHAKO

pure-avity: WHAT

pure-avity: IZU WHAT HAPPENED?

broccoli man: LAST NIGHT I KEPT TELLING TODO HOW PRETTY AND COOL AND BEAUIFUL HE WAS AND I THINK I KISSED HIM ON THE CHEEK?

broccoli man: OHHHHH M  GOD OCHAKO

broccoli man: HGIKGHLAGULIHGLIUHUHAGUGHAU

broccoli man: OCHAKO I AM HAVING A CRISIS WHERE ARE YOU

broccoli man: hold on someone’s at my door

broccoli man: OH GOD IT’S HIM

 

Chapter Text

02:56

class 1-GAY

sparky: yo

sparky: the toodles dude from mickey mouse

sparky: is a sus ass character

sparky: so it just conveniently has everything mickey and his friends need? how does he know? and what the shit is up with that mystery mouskatool shit

sparky: it sounds like this dude could save them a lot of trouble just by telling them what they should do

sparky: at least project an image onto the screen or something what’s up with waiting for them to get themselves into deep shit before showing up

sparky: and not once do mickey and his friends get suspicious like???? it’s an all-knowing projector

sparky: tldr; toodles is a god

knuckles: holy shit

why so sero-ous: kami what the fuck

why so sero-ous: i’m seriously contemplating this what the hell

why so sero-ous: is toodles a god?

acid trip: make a poll on your twitter

acid trip: post that whole existential crisis as a thread and have people vote on it

sparky: i should so do that

ojiro: what the fuck

09:02

Iida Tenya: Kaminari…

Iida Tenya: Not my first time saying this, but please go see a therapist.

sparky: KUGHIUGHUAHIAIUGHIUAG IIDA PLEASE

sparky: this is serious business

sparky: [ 1 attachment: twitterpoll.jpeg ]

sparky: the masses have spoken and they support me

Iida Tenya: That is so concerning for reasons I cannot even think of right now.

12:45

acid trip: KJGHGIUHIGUHIGUUIGW MIDORIYA HADA CONCUSSION BECYASE GE FELL DOWN AT BREAKFAST  

acid trip: AND I GOT THIS GEM OF A VIDEO AFTER EVERYBODY PRESSURED BLASTY INTO CARRYING HIM

acid trip: [ 1 attachment: midobaku?.mp4 ]

 


 

[ Katsuki is carrying Midoriya bridal style to his room. Suddenly, Midoriya blinks open his eyes and looks blearily at Bakugou. ]

 

“God?”

 

[ Katsuki stares into the camera with boredom and drops Midoriya ]

 

[ CRASH! ]

 


 

explodomurderking: that’s on him I guess

izukuwu: fuck u

ojiro: UH

gravity falls: JGUHUGAOAIHGOHGOUAGHHGOAUA

pepe: I think I just peed myself a little

Icythot: I just choked on my soba

Icythot: Holy shit

airpods: king went off

invisalign: i-

birb: i laughed

birb: despite the darkness inside of my soul

explodomurderking: what the fuck

explodomurderking: would it be wrong to say that I’m kinda proud

airpods: yes??? what the fuck

explodomurderking: deku said his first fuck

explodomurderking: and it’s because of me

explodomurderking: nice

knuckles: of course that’s what you focus on

sparky: GOD THIS ENTIRE INTERACTION IS SO FUNNY????? I

why so sero-ous: IGHIUGHIUHGUIQHIUHQIUGHGIUHUG???!??!??!?!?

14:50

izukuwu: okay first of all

izukuwu: kacchan I am SO SORRY for cursing at you oh my GOD

explodomurderking: i think I’m in shock

izukuwu: jesus

izukuwu: also

izukuwu: i want to wipe my memories

izukuwu: maybe bleach my eyes

gravity falls: what happened izu

izukuwu: i

izukuwu: walked in on aizawa and all might

izukuwu: doing

izukuwu: nasty stuff

izukuwu: in the teacher’s lounge

izukuwu: i

izukuwu: I think I’m gonna cry

izukuwu: ????!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!? why me

explodomurderking: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

explodomurderking: GET FUCKED

Iida Tenya: Is this an issue that need to get reported?

izukuwu: NO

izukuwu: THEY DIDN’T EVEN SEE ME WALK IN AND FOR THAT I AM GRATEFUL

izukuwu: LET’S JUST LEAVE IT ALONG FOR NOW MAYBE????

16:34

pure-avity & broccoli man

pure-avity: hey what ended up happening with todoroki?

broccoli man: uhhhh he has feelings for me too????

broccoli man: which is????? wild???????

broccoli man: how can someone as beautiful and smart and amazing as todoroki like someone like me????

broccoli man: somehow he does which is… crazy

pure-avity: don’t underestimate yourself izu

pure-avity: you’re a crazy amazing person too

broccoli man: hgiuahguohguohouga thank u ocha … <3

pure-avity: <3

pure-avity: okay continue story what happened!!!!!

pure-avity: explain EVERYTHING!!!!!!!

pure-avity: spill the tea!!!!!!!

pure-avity: [ 1 attachment: chrisevanswithnails.png ]

broccoli man: ahhhhhhhh ok!!!!1

broccoli man: ok so basically he showed up at my door and my dumb bum almost closed the door right in his face!!! I guess he was expecting that though because he opened the door and stepped in before I should shut it so I was like “oh okay” and I told him to sit down and asked him what he wanted to talk about and then he was like “do you have feelings for me” so I was like “UHHHH WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT” and I kid you not he said exactly this: “I apologize, did I misinterpret the kiss you gave me last night? My sincerest apologies” HHHHHHHHHH I was like “uh” because obviously how was I gonna respond??? but then he looked kinda embarrassed and dejected so I thought ‘f it” and I was like “yeah I do like you” because YOLO haha ok anyways he got all red and ochako HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH he’s SO cute

broccoli man: and then we talked everything out and we acknowledged each other’s feelings but we’re not dating

pure-avity: WHY NOT

broccoli man: we both agreed that it wouldn’t be the best thing to rush into a relationship

broccoli man: and I really don’t wanna push him or pressure him into anything because as it is he’s socially underdeveloped and I want him to have more time around other people before we get together y’know???? and it’s pretty known that he doesn’t have the best familial relationships so I want to give him a chance to improve all his other relationships before he enters a romantic one

broccoli man: also there’s that whole separate issue about …

pure-avity: bakugou?

broccoli man: yeah

pure-avity: you shouldn’t let your feelings for bakugou get in the way of your happiness

pure-avity: nonetheless I’m so proud of you for not taking advantage of Todoroki

pure-avity: i know you’re not the type of person to do that but still, you’re amazing

broccoli man: hhhhhhhhh I’m just doing what a decent person would do

pure-avity: not all people would act decently unfortunately

pure-avity: and you’re still amazing izu don’t forget it

broccoli man: HHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHH <<<<<<33333333333333333

broccoli man: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

pure-avity: i love you more <3

Chapter Text

17:23

class 1-GAY

sparky: OK so i was just takin a leak u know

sparky: just chillin in a restaurant bathroom

sparky: n someone knocks on the door right

sparky: so instead of saying "taken" like a normal person

sparky: would u like to know what i did

sparky: WOULD U LIKE TO KNOW WHAT I DID

knuckles: he knocked back

sparky: I KNOCKED BACK

airpods: peak dumbassery 

3D printer: I would say I'm surprised, but... I'm not

sparky: i feel so stupid

explodomurderking: you are stupid

sparky: i mean YEAH but still i was looking for comfort

sparky: not for u to rub salt in the wound

explodomurderking: tough for you i guess

✧・゚: *✧・゚:* aoyama *:・゚✧*:・゚✧: quel restaurant

sparky: i had to google translate that

sparky: i don't remember which restaurant bc it was a long ass name

✧・゚: *✧・゚:* aoyama *:・゚✧*:・゚✧: what a tragedy :(

pepe: why were you at a restaurant in the first place

sparky: ya boy was on a date B)

airpods: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

explodomurderking: SKGWHUIHGUAHGOHGOHIOG

explodomurderking: you WHAT

birb: good going

sparky: don't be mean guys :(

sparky: and yeah

sparky: ya boi landed some DICK

acid trip: shut the fuck up

acid trip: kiri took you out??

explodomurderking: what

sparky: um

sparky: yes

knuckles: hell yeah i did!!!

gravity falls: how did mina know that

gravity falls: did she guess??

acid trip: i didn't have to guess

sparky: mina shut UP

acid trip: kami's been feening for kiri's dick since last year

acid trip: he wouldn't go out with anybody else

sparky: kjnghaoihgoaigoiagknbflgr

sparky: i'm never coming out of my room

knuckles: i

hard & detective pikachu

hard: you really had a crush on me since last year???

detective pikachu: uhguoahgohohgo

detective pikachu: yes

hard: wow man

hard: that's so cool

hard: the dedication and shit

hard: that's super flattering

hard: i had a tiny crush on you last year but i didn't know if you liked guys back then

hard: you passed yourself off as super straight

detective pikachu: hhhhhhhhh i know

detective pikachu: consequences of being friends with mineta i guess

detective pikachu: he's gotten better i guess but he's still a perv

hard: if he doesn't change then we'll have to use

hard: [eyebrow raise] alternative methods

detective pikachu: electric chair?

hard: KJBGIUEGUI no dude what the fyuck

hard: i was thinking that we'd just corner him and intimidate the shit out of him

detective pikachu: OHHHHH

detective pikachu: that sounds a lot better

hard: god

hard: are you busy right now?

detective pikachu: naw dawg

detective pikachu: u wanna pull up to this crib?

hard: okay kami dude i really like you but please never say that again

detective pikachu: aw darn

hard: can i come to your dorm?

detective pikachu: ;)

class 1-GAY

birb: interesting

octoman: yami where are you

birb: brooding in the dark

octoman: yami pls

birb: in my dark room

octoman: on my way <3

birb: this isn't the private chat

octoman: oh

octoman: oh

octoman: uh

octoman: i meant on my way :)*

✧・゚: *✧・゚:* aoyama *:・゚✧*:・゚✧: c'est tres mignon

✧・゚: *✧・゚:* aoyama *:・゚✧*:・゚✧: very nice couple

acid trip: wbk

pepe: it was only a matter of time

Iida Tenya: It appears that a lot has occurred since the last time I checked this chat!

Iida Tenya: Congratulations to Kaminari and Kirishima, and Tokoyami and Shouji as well.

Iida Tenya: Speaking as the class representative, do not let your relationships interfere with your hero work and grades.

Iida Tenya: Speaking as a friend, this is a pleasant surprise. More so for Tokoyami and Shouji than Kaminari and Kirishima.

Iida Tenya: As Ashido said, I "been knew" about Kaminari and Kirishima.

acid trip: JHUEGHOUWEGHOEIWHGOAIJOI????

octoman: i just got my relationship blessed by iida

octoman: wow

birb: nice

knuckles: i was just overcome with an indescribable emotion

knuckles: so manly... thank you iida

Iida Tenya: :)

gravity falls: GOD i love u iida

Iida Tenya: I love you too, Ochako. You are one of my most treasured friends. 

izukuwu: too wholesome ,,, my eyes

explodomurderking: shut up

izukuwu: how about YOU shut up

izukuwu: i

izukuwu: did not mean to send that

 

gravity falls: oh yeah we forgot to tell you

gravity falls: actually we didn't really wanna tell you guys in the first place but

gravity falls: it's inevitable i guess

gravity falls: izuku was hit with a quirk that basically stripped him of his filter in all forms of communication

izukuwu: hhhHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh

acid trip: so it's basically a truth quirk

gravity falls: um

acid trip: YO

izukuwu: hell no do NOT take advantage of this

izukuwu: i

izukuwu: fuck????

pepe: izuku said fuck

sugar daddy: midoriya said fuck????

airpods: i

octoman: that's so disturbing

ojiro: what the hell

ojiro: do any of you actually do work

sparky: no

explodomurderking: deku say '"i am a little bitch"

izukuwu: go fuck yourself

izukuwu: I????

izukuwu: HELP???????

izukuwu: I DON'T LIKE THIS

explodomurderking: HUH

explodomurderking: HOW ABOUT THAT

 

 

Chapter Text

03:54

Daddy Issues & broccoli man

Daddy Issues: Midoriya, are you awake

broccoli man: yes

broccoli man: are you okay? it's pretty late

Daddy Issues: Can I ask you about something?

broccoli man: of course!!!

Daddy Issues: Okay, so, what if

Daddy Issues: Shinsou is Aizawa's secret love child

broccoli man: ...

broccoli man: todoroki

Daddy Issues: No, hear me out!

Daddy Issues: They look pretty similar

Daddy Issues: They both always have eyebags under their eyes

Daddy Issues: They both love cats

Daddy Issues: I've even walked in on Aizawa training Shinsou a few times

Daddy Issues: And sometimes I even see Shinsou eating with Aizawa and Present Mic

Daddy Issues: And apparently Aizawa is... copulating Present Mic

broccoli man: 

broccoli man: what the hell

Daddy Issues: See????

broccoli man: I

broccoli man: how in the world 

broccoli man: todo what the hell????

Daddy Issues: Yes, I know

Daddy Issues: It seems very strange 

broccoli man: i'm too tired to deal with this

Daddy Issues: Oh.

Daddy Issues: Sorry for disturbing you.

broccoli man: NONONO

broccoli man: god i meant NOW

broccoli man: i'm too tired to deal with this right NOW

broccoli man: later i will have enough energy to give you a proper response

Daddy Issues: Oh, okay

broccoli man: would you like to come to my room to cuddle

broccoli man: HGOURHGOIG

broccoli man: SORRY IF THAT'S TOO FORWARD

broccoli man: THIS QUIRK IS MESSING WITH ME

broccoli man: YOU DON'T HAVE TO

broccoli man: HEUHOGHGQ0 SORYR

Daddy Issues: Midoriya

Daddy Issues: It's fine

Daddy Issues: Your dorm room is on the second floor, right?

broccoli man: yes

Daddy Issues: I can be down in 10 minutes.

Daddy Issues: Sorry if i don't cuddle correctly, I've never done it before

broccoli man: lhgoihgoih

broccoli man: so cute

broccoli man: i guess i'll have to teach you!!!

Daddy Issues: Okay

09:30

class 1-GAY

Iida Tenya: Come down to the common room for a fresh-made breakfast!!!

Iida Tenya: Courtesy of Bakugou and Satou.

invisabitch: bakugou???

invisabitch: made breakfast???

invisabitch: for us????

birb: i will eat it if it is poisoned

octoman: YAMI

3D printer: That is very kind of Bakugou!!!

explodomurderking: fuck off

cat whisperer: Are there pancakes? Or vegetables?

knuckles: both!!

cat whisperer: I will bring down one of my bunnies uwu

acid trip: PLEASE

gravity falls: YES!!!!!!!

airpods: nice

goth gf & big tiddy gf

goth gf: u downstairs already????

big tiddy gf: I'm waiting for you outside of your room

big tiddy gf: You sounded quite enraptured screaming the lyrics to Blink-182 so I figured I wouldn't interrupt

goth gf: MOMO

big tiddy gf: I'm just playing around with you, love

big tiddy gf: I'm coming in

goth gf: go ahead ,, i'm just figuring out what to wear

big tiddy gf: I'll help you

class 1-GAY

sparky: ei save me a seat

knuckles: ofc

pepe: there's so much gay in this room

gravity falls: owo <3

sparky: imagine being single

sparky: LMAO

acid trip: FUCK OFF

acid trip: OVER HALF OUR CLASS IS SINGLE

3D printer: Really??

acid trip: midoriya, satou, kouda, me, mineta (no surprise there), aoyama, bakugou, todoroki, iida, sero, ojiro, hagakure

explodomurderking: nobody deserves my attention

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama *:・゚*:・゚: bold of you to assume that i am single!!!!

cat whisperer: i don't have time for relationships owo

why so sero-ous: man i just want some dick is that so bad

sparky: you'll always be my platonic bf bro...

why so sero-ous: bro...

explodomurderking: jesus christ

sugar daddy: I actually have my eye on one of the girls from 1B, but I don't know if i should make a move...

acid trip: DO IT!!!!

invisabitch: tol stronk and he knows how to cook!!!

knuckles: yeah man you're a catch

sugar daddy: You guys think I should???

cat whisperer: yes

sugar daddy: maybe I will one of these days

ojiro: are we just gonna ignore aoyama implying that he's in a relationship or????

acid trip: WHAAAAAAAAT

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama *:・゚*:・゚: c'est vrai

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama *:・゚*:・゚: a garcon has managed to capture my heart

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama *:・゚*:・゚: but he is uncomfortable with people knowing who he is, so i must keep him my secret...

knuckles: so manly of you to not push him to come out!!!

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama *:・゚*:・゚: he will do it on his own!!!! ✧

acid trip: do we know him???

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama *:・゚*:・゚: i cannot say

acid trip: no hints?

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama *:・゚*:・゚:  non, je suis desole :(

acid trip: it's okay :)

Sonic & broccoli man

Sonic: Midoriya? Are you coming downstairs? We have breakfast!

broccoli man: Sorry Iida, Midoriya is sleeping

broccoli man: It's Todoroki

broccoli man: I'll come downstairs and pick up some food for when he wakes up

Sonic: Okay, Todoroki.

class 1-GAY

invisabitch: todoroki sportin that bedhead

acid trip: how is he single!!!

Icythot: Trauma and emotional instability.

acid trip: I

acid trip: are you joking or not i really cannot tell

Icythot: That's for you to figure out

explodomurderking: as if anyone wants his half n half pubes

Icythot: As if anybody wants your tiny little 2 inch penis.

Icythot: But that's none of my business

sparky: YOOOOOOOOO

sparky: HEARD THAT BAKUGOU 

sparky: VIOLATED THE FUCK OUT OF YOU

explodomurderking: FUCK OFF MY DICK'S PLENTY BIG

sparky: is it now ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

explodomurderking: SHUT THE FUCK UP

bakusquad

E.T.: ngl todoroki's comment made me pee a little

detective pikachu: he has such a foul mouth

hard: yiiikes

bakugay: CAN YOU ALL JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP

scotch tape: no need to be so heated bakugou

scotch tape: you went at him first bro

bakugay: what the fuck ever

detective pikachu: um

detective pikachu: okay??

detective pikachu: u good???

bakugay: i'm fucking peachy

class 1-GAY

izukuwu: who made these pancakes!!! they're so good!!!! and fluffy!!!!!!

ojiro: bakugou and satou

izukuwu: thank you kacchan and satou!!!!!!!!!

sugar daddy: no problem midoriya

explodomurderking: how the fuck did you get pancakes if you didn't even come down

Icythot: Midoriya wasn't feeling well, I brought some up for him

invisabitch: such a gentleman

tail man & hag

tail man: are you trying to tell me something

tail man: do you want todoroki now

hag: i'm just pulling your tail babe

hag: HAHA

hag: pulling your tail

hag: nice

tail man: attention seeker

hag: maybe so

hag: but i'm YOUR attention seeker

tail man: sigh

tail man: the stuff i have to put up with

hag: have you asked shinsou yet

hag: about our [waggles eyebrows] arrangement

tail man: not yet

hag: WHYYY

tail man: not everybody is so open to a polyamorous relationship

hag: shinsou seems chill enough

tail man: you won't feel like i'm cheating?

hag: no!!! i told you

hag: that's the whole point of a poly relationship

hag: as long as we get your equal attention then i'm good babe

tail man: okay

tail man: i'll ask him one of these days

hag: !!!!!!

hag: <3

tail man: <3

 


 

"It's a little strange that Bakugou-kun noticed that Midoriya didn't come down, ribbit."

"Hm?"

"Bakugou-kun mentioned how it was weird that Midoriya got breakfast without even coming down."

"Huh, that is a little strange."

"I could be wrong, ribbit, maybe it's nothing we should pay any mind to..."

"Maybe. Bakugou's a weird guy to try to figure out."

"Yeah."

"Wanna go up to my room cuddle on my bed?"

"Yeah, marshmellow."

Chapter Text

16:46

class 1-GAY

octoman: when I started looking around for yami I did not expect to find him painting the girls’ nails in the common room

izukuwu: what!!!

izukuwu: i wanna get my nails painted!!!!

birb: you can come down, if you’d like

izukuwu: YES!!!!!

Icythot: Do you have blue as a polish color?

birb: yeah

Icythot: Can I join?

birb: okay

sparky: can I come too

airpods: no

sparky: biphobia at its finest :/

aipods: calling me biphobic is lesbophobic and I will not stand for it

pepe: kaminari I didn’t know you hated lesbians

gravity falls: not cool, man

sparky: betrayed by my own friends

airpods: “friends”

sparky: WOW

sparky: AFTER ALL I’VE DONE FOR YOU

sparky: LISTENING TO YOUR GAY RANTING ABOUT MOMO AND HOW MUCH YOU WANTED TO USE HER BOOBS AS A PILLOW

sparky: THIS IS WHAT I GET????

airpods: i hope that when you give head your pipes are ruptured

airpods: [1 attachment: dicksentmetotheER.peg] if this doesn’t happen to you I’ll be VERY disappointed

Iida Tenya: NO “HEAD” WILL BE GIVEN!!! STAY RESPONSIBLE!!!!!!!!

sparky: I feel like that could happen to me

sparky: genuinely

acid trip: woah

acid trip: throbbing monster cock

gravity falls: oh my god

ojiro: why is it that EVERY TIME I come into the group chat you guys are discussing some form of sex???

why so sero-ous: horny brain: activated

ojiro: turn off horny brain and turn on normal brain

sparky: you idiot

sparky: you absolute buffoon

sparky: horny brain is just an extension of normal brain

sparky: it’s either both

sparky: or neither

airpods: you’re acting as if you use your normal brain at all

airpods: turn them both off there won’t be much of a difference

sparky: stop slandering my name you useless lesbian

airpods: I’m more useful than you

airpods: wait

airpods changed their screenname to useless lesbian

3D printer changed their screenname to useful lesbian

useless lesbian: <3

useful lesbian: <3

explodomurderking: disgusting

00:34

invisabitch: just walked in on kirishima sticking his tongue down kaminari’s throat lol nice

knuckles: we are so sorry oh my god

invisabitch: it’s ok I’ve seen worse

invisabitch: also todoroki’s been sitting at the counter eating cereal for the past like 30 minutes idk how u didn’t notice him

knuckles: WHAT

knuckles: ARE YOU SERIOUS

Icythot: I thought it would be rude to interrupt

explodomurderking: since when do you give a fuck about whether you’re rude or not

Icythot: You have no room to talk

knuckles: wait hagakure

knuckles: what do you mean you’ve seen worse

knuckles: Hagakure

knuckles: ????

12:34

why so sero-ous: guys genuinely I’m still super curious like

why so sero-ous: is aizawa a top? he gives off big top energy

useless lesbian: i don’t think it’s physically possible for aizawa to top all might

[redacted] added louis vuitton eyebags to class 1-GAY

louis vuitton eyebags: stop discussing my sex life you fucking heathens

sparky: can we at least get an answer

louis vuitton eyebags: NO

louis vuitton eyebags left class 1-GAY

sugar daddy: oh my god

sugar daddy: does this mean our teacher knows that you guys were wondering how big his dick is

ojiro: JESUS

invisabitch: LOL

pepe: I wonder if the teachers can see all our other texts too

Iida Tenya: That would be an extreme invasion of privacy!

gravity falls: yikes

Iida Tenya: Ochako…

gravity falls: um

gravity falls: yes?

Iida Tenya: Have you been sending inappropriate things over text?

gravity falls: NOO

explodomurderking: dumbass

sparky: everybody knows that snap is the way to go

useless lesbian: yup

useful lesbian: I’m a little late to the conversation, but speaking of snap

useful lesbian: have you guys ever gotten unsolicited dick pics?

explodomurderking: YEP

sparky: BAKUGOU NO

knuckles: bakubro please

useless lesbian: I’m not sure I want to hear this story

explodomurderking: shut your trap

explodomurderking: you’re gonna hear it anyways

explodomurderking: I was just in the fuckin gym

explodomurderking: punching a punching bag

explodomurderking: and i finished training

explodomurderking: so I open my fuckin phone to a photo from kaminari on snap and a bunch of texts saying not to open it

explodomurderking: so naturally, I open it

explodomurderking: and there, opened on my phone, is a penis so small it could be considered microscopic

sparky: WOW

sparky: I’LL HAVE YOU THINK THAT EIJI LIKES THIS DICK

knuckles:

sparky:

explodomurderking:

Chapter Text

20:01

class 1-GAY

sparky: so

sparky: y’all ever had anal gape?

ojiro left class 1-GAY

sparky: IJFO;IHOIAHGOIHAI

octoman: do i want to know

sparky: I’M JUST CURIOUS

sparky: LIKE

sparky: anal gape has to do with you pushing your asshole out right

sparky: what if you just

sparky: accidentally shat while trying to gape

octoman: did you just use shit in the past tense

izukuwu left class 1-GAY

explodomurderking: good riddance

gravity falls added ojiro and izukuwu to class 1-GAY

gravity falls: if we have to endure this so do you guys

izukuwu: i didn’t break most of the bones in my body to listen to kaminari talk about… that

sparky: I’M JUST CURIOUS

Iida Tenya: Please keep your curiosity to yourself or talk about it with someone willing to talk about it.

sparky: but I need input

useless lesbian: my input is that you’re fucking stupid

explodomurderking: ^

sparky: bakugou agreeing with someone? Wild

explodomurderking: only to violate you

sparky: mean :/

explodomurderking: and what about it

00:58

gravity falls: guys

gravity falls: let’s play a game

ojiro: because that ended up swell last time

acid trip: I mean

acid trip: you ended up dirty dancing with shinsou

acid trip: so I’d say it did

ojiro:

ojiro left class 1-GAY

acid trip added ojiro to class 1-GAY

acid trip: no

ojiro: this class is a fucking nightmare

gravity falls: so,,,, yes to the game??? owo

Iida Tenya: Absolutely not. It is 1AM, way past curfew.

gravity falls: cmon iida we’ll keep it in the common room

gravity falls: we’ll be responsible

Iida Tenya: I don’t trust that at all.

Iida Tenya: We need to stay responsible. We are the next generation of heroes.

gravity falls: we can have fun sometimes!!! we’re teenagers

gravity falls: right now is our PRIME time

Iida Tenya: No.

gravity falls: PLEASE

Iida Tenya: No.

gravity falls:

Iida Tenya: … If I hear even a PEEP from my room, I’m calling an end to your little meeting.

gravity falls: YAY

gravity falls: CMON GUYS COME TO THE COMMON ROOM

explodomurderking: no you crazy fuckin bitch

explodomurderking: it’s 1am

explodomurderking: stupid fuckin incessant texts woke me up

gravity falls: I don’t think I phrased it as a question 😊

explodomurderking: oi

explodomurderking: you got some fuckin BALLS threatening me

gravity falls: 😊 be down here within 20 minutes

explodomurderking: crazy bitch

gravity falls: you bet

02:00

gravity falls:

gravity falls: huh

gravity falls: how about that

invisabitch: I did not expect bakugou to know all the lyrics to all star

gravity falls: did you get a video of him singing it

invisabitch: who do you take me for

invisabitch: [1 attachment: bakumouth.mp4]

invisabitch: he was so deadpan…

explodomurderking: the fuck did you expect

Iida Tenya: WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T WANT TO HEAR A PEEP, I DIDN’T MEAN FOR YOU TO DO INNAPROPRIATE THINGS SILENTLY.

gravity falls: what could you possibly be talking about????

Iida Tenya: WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT IS KIRISHIMA STREAKING IN THE BOYS DORMITORIES.

Invisabitch: ngl I’m kinda surprised iida knows what streaking is

Iida Tenya: THIS IS EXTREMELY IRRESPONSIBLE!!!

Iida Tenya: OCHAKO!! KIRISHIMA!!

Iida Tenya: HELLO????

Iida Tenya: I’M GOING TO HAVE A STROKE. I’M GOING TO DIE AND IT’S THIS CLASS’ FAULT.

10:09

invisabitch: HOLY SHIT

invisabitch: HAGAKURE, COMING TO YOU LIVE

invisabitch: I MAY BE HALLUCINATING

invisabitch: BUT BAKUGOU IS WEARING JEANS

invisabitch: and DAMN does he look good

gravity falls: god his ass looks good

pepe: am I a joke to you

gravity falls: I STILL LOVE YOU BABY

gravity falls: just

gravity falls: no words

knuckles: wow, full homo

sparky: blasty has no right being this hot

explodomurderking: STOP FUCKING OOGLING ME YOU DICKHEADS

acid trip: it can’t be helped

ojiro: ??? why are you even wearing jeans in the first place

explodomurderking: EVERYTHING ELSE WAS IN THE FUCKIN LAUNDRY

explodomurderking: AND THE ONLY THING I HAD WAS THESE SHITTY JEANS FROM BEST JEANIST

broccoli man & pure-avity

broccoli man: hhhhhhhh

broccoli man: I don’t mean to stare, but who gave him the right!!!!!!!

pure-avity: you, actually

pure-avity: you’re the one that suggested training together

broccoli man: stop this slander at once

broccoli man: I just

broccoli man: wow

pure-avity: deku u have a man >:((((

pure-avity: stop eye-fucking bakugou

broccoli man: ok first of all he’s not my man

broccoli man: second of all, he’s also staring

broccoli man: third of all,,, you have a girlfriend??? and you openly thirsted over him???

pure-avity: that’s different

pure-avity: tsuyu already knows about my lust for bakugou

broccoli man: jesus

class 1-GAY

explodomurderking: STOP STARING AT MY FUCKING ASS YOU PERVERTS

sparky: but it’s so perky

knuckles: it could even rival midoriya’s

invisabitch: no, not yet

acid trip: midoriya still has the fattest ass in this class

izukuwu: ijoihoiqghogir please

izukuwu: no more

acid trip: hey I just had an idea

explodomurderking: that’s never good

acid trip: let’s put midoriya in jeans

acid trip: BETTER YET

acid trip: LEGGINGS

knuckles: man idk if I’ll survive that

why so sero-ous: i’m too gay for this bye

airpods: imagine being attracted to guys

airpods: yikes

izukuwu: I don’t own any jeans

izukuwu: or leggings

gravity falls: i have leggings that will fit you

izukuwu: no you don’t

gravity falls: yes I do

izukuwu: ochako

izukuwu: no you don’t

sparky: HOLY SHIT

ojiro: did everybody else feel that chill run up their spine or just me

knuckles: dominant midoriya … a concept

acid trip: I think i’m a little wet rn

izukuwu: HHHHHHH GUYS PLEASE

gravity falls: deku

gravity falls: come 2 my room

gravity falls: ur putting these bad boys on

izukuwu: ochako PLEASE

gravity falls: 😊

izukuwu: oh my goooood

gravity falls: I

gravity falls: um

gravity falls: idk if I should show you guys

gravity falls: this is almost obscene

invisabitch: BRING HIM DOWN

acid trip: seconded

why so sero-ous: I’m too single and gay for this

sparky: we’re waiting patiently

sparky: i

ojiro: holy shit

knuckles: wow

airpods: ngl if I wasn’t a lesbian? I’d tap that

izukuwu: HHHHHHHHHHHHHH I have to go upstairs bye

explodomurderking: you fuckin idiots embarrassed the kid

explodomurderking: shouldn’t have forced him to do that

bakugay & broccoli man

bakugay: nerd

bakugay: the fuck is up with you

broccoli man: all those eyes on me

broccoli man: it wasn’t good

broccoli man: I don’t like feeling like

broccoli man: everybody is undressing me with their eyes

broccoli man: it’s uncomfortable

broccoli man: I feel gross and objectified

broccoli man: hhhhh maybe I’m overreacting

broccoli man: I should go apologize to everybody

bakugay: no

bakugay: they forced you do do that shit even though they knew you were uncomfortable

bakugay: too fuckin bad if they feel guilty

bakugay: if they feel guilty then that’s on them

broccoli man: I still feel bad for ruining everybody’s fun

bakugay: don’t fuckin go down you idiot

bakugay: i’ll explode you

bakugay: don’t test me

broccoli man: okay kacchan

broccoli man: thank you for checking up on me

bakugay: i wasn’t fuckin checkin up on your nerd ass

bakugay: everybody else just annoyed me

broccoli man: mmmmmmmmmmmm okay kacchan 😊

bakugay: don’t fuckin patronize me

broccoli man: 😊 bye kacchan!!! see you tomorrow

bakugay: go fuck yourself

Chapter Text

20:46

class 1-GAY

sparky: guys

sparky: should I become an e-boy

explodomurderking: what the fuck

sparky: i'm serious

sparky: i could make serious bank

sparky: y’all seen belle delphine? that bitch sold out of BATH WATER

sparky: mad respect

ojiro: you’re going to be a pro hero??? you’re gonna be making money anyways???

sparky: who knows how much money I’m gonna be making

sparky: plus I’m not a pro hero yet and I need that cash money

useless lesbian: you’re too ugly to be an e boy

sparky: first of all

sparky: RUDE

sparky: second of all, twitter happens to think I’m a handsome boy

gravity falls: how many followers do you have?

sparky: 100k

ojiro: WHAT

gravity falls: 100k followers and you don’t consider yourself an e-boy?

sparky: well that’s because I don’t only post pictures of myself

sparky: I mainly post stupid shit

sparky: the media loves us btw

useless lesbian: whats the @

sparky: @dankishit

useless lesbian: the FUCK

useless lesbian: you were serious

sparky: yeah

sparky: LMFAO

knuckles: that’s my bf!!!!!!

sparky: ;*

knuckles: ;*

gravity falls: now I’m kinda considering becoming an e girl

izukuwu: ochako please

gravity falls: i could make serious cash

izukuwu: what would your parents say

gravity falls:

gravity falls: nvm

why so sero-ous: u know who would make a good e-boy???

sparky: todoroki

why so sero-ous: todoroki

why so sero-ous: AYE

sparky: AYE

Icythot: … What

why so sero-ous: think about it

why so sero-ous: you’re pretty well known already

why so sero-ous: you have the pretty boy aesthetic

why so sero-ous: you’re fuckin BUILT

why so sero-ous: and youre quiet and serious on the outside but on the inside you’re just a confused and dumb teenager that doesn’t know how to act around other people

why so sero-ous: you also have a good sense of humor and nobody ever knows if you’re joking or not

Icythot: Did you just psychoanalyze me

why so sero-ous: yes

Icythot: Okay

Icythot: Hm

Icythot: I’ll consider it

sparky: are you joking

Icythot: Nobody will ever know

furry tail man & hag

furry tail man: i asked shinsou

hag: and?

furry tail man: he said okay

hag: LET’S GOOO

hag: mashi getting that puss AND dick

furry tail man: did you just refer to yourself as “that puss”

hag: what can I say

hag: you’re getting some

furry tail man: why am I dating you

hag: because I’m a dope bitch

furry tail man: you are a dope bitch

hag: !!!!!! <3

furry tail man: <3

hag: ik what we should do now

hag added furry tail man and gucci eyebags to the chat

hag changed the chat name to threesome

furry tail man: OIHREOHGOIH

gucci eyebags: oh

hag: hey shinsou ;)

gucci eyebags: hi

hag: can I add u to the 1A gc

hag: wait

hag: aren’t you gonna be in 2A

gucci eyebags: yeah

gucci eyebags: how did u know

hag: i overheard

hag: CAN WE TELL EVERYBODY?????????/

gucci eyebags: i have to ask aizawa

furry tail man: wait

furry tail man: wait

furry tail man: what

furry tail man: shin

furry tail man: you’re gonna be in 2A?

gucci eyebags: yes

gucci eyebags: we established this

furry tail man: huh

furry tail man: how about that

class 1-GAY

useless lesbian: who tryna eat stuffed crust pizza w me

sparky: ill stuff ur crust

useful lesbian: you absolutely will not

useless lesbian: are u callin me crusty

sparky: i

sparky: no comment

useless lesbian: BITCH

sparky: To Be Continued…

pepe: is the pizza gonna be from pizza hut

useless lesbian: duh

pepe: ochako and I are down

acid trip: god I’ve been craving pizza hut so much lately

useful lesbian: Pizza would be delightful

useless lesbian: this just in the pizza hut meeting is limited to girls only

useless lesbian: and maybe bakugou

sparky: WHAT

sparky: WHY

useless lesbian: because I said so

explodomurderking: im getting a whole pizza for myself

useless lesbian: that is … valid

09:30

broccoli man & Daddy Issues

broccoli man: good morning todo!!

broccoli man: do you want to train with me in an hour???

Daddy Issues: Sure

Daddy Issues: Quirks involved or just grappling?

broccoli man: let’s box

Daddy Issues: Okay

broccoli man: see you!!!!!!

Daddy Issues: See you

Daddy Issues & Daddy Issues: The Prequel

Daddy Issues: I have an issue

Daddy Issues: The Prequel: a dad problem?

Daddy Issues: A boy problem

Daddy Issues: The Prequel: oh

Daddy Issues: The Prequel: OH

11:46

class 1-GAY

sparky: are y’all seeing this

sparky: ARE Y’ALL SEEING THIS

useless lesbian: did you just use y’all unironically

sparky: THAT’S NOT THE POINT

acid trip: is this legal

invisabitch: i can feel the pheromones coming off them

why so sero-ous: the sexual tension ….

explodomurderking: the fuck are you idiots going on about

knuckles: midoriya and todoroki are having a boxing match

explodomurderking: how the fuck do you feel sexual tension from a boxing match

acid trip: come down and see ;)

explodomurderking: i’m not doing shit

sparky: [comes down anyways]

explodomurderking: DO YOU HAVE A FUCKIN DEATH WISH

sparky: am I wrong

invisabitch: it’s so intense

Iida Tenya: Maybe we shouldn’t speak of the two of them in a chat that they’re both in?

gravity falls: i agree with iida…

pepe: me too

explodomurderking: oy

explodomurderking: you extras hiding something?

gravity falls: what would be be hiding

explodomurderking: deku’s little friends came to his defense all of a sudden

explodomurderking: what a fuckin coincidence

gravity falls: there’s nothing going on

gravity falls: we just don’t like it when you guys talk about our friends like this

explodomurderking: you have no issue doing it to other people

gravity falls: dude

gravity falls: back off

hard & bakugay

hard: hey

hard: lay off

bakugay: the fuck did you just say

hard: it’s uncool

hard: what you’re doing is uncool

hard: we know todoroki’s bisexual but midoriya hasn’t come out to us

hard: even if he is into guys

hard: ESPECIALLY if he’s into guys

hard: if there IS something going on between him and todoroki , you’re basically cornering his friends into admitting something’s up

hard: and that would force midoriya into coming out

hard: and that’s super fuckin uncool, dude

hard: would you like it if that was you? if you were almost outed to the class?

bakugay: whatever

hard: you should apologize

bakugay: i'm not apologizing if I wasn’t wrong

hard: that’s not the point of apologizing

hard: you did something morally wrong

hard: logically, you could be right but what you did was morally wrong

hard: so apologize, man

bakugay: get off my dick

hard: fuckin christ bakugou

hard: can’t believe I thought talking to you about it would do shit

bakugay: the fuck is that supposed to mean

hard: it means that you’re a stubborn dickhead and you can’t communicate for shit

hard: have you even changed at all?

bakugay:

hard: fuck

hard: FUCK

hard: bakugou I’m so sorry

hard: I didn’t mean that

hard: I know you’re trying hard

hard: I know you’re trying so hard to change and improve

hard: you HAVE changed

hard: you've changed so much since i first met you

hard: you're so different and in a good way

hard: please don't let my petty comment interrupt your progress

hard: bakugou

hard: katsuki

hard: katsuki please answer me

hard: please

dialing...

bakugay is busy right now, please leave a message or call back later

hard: fuck

Chapter Text

15:23

broccoli man & pure-avity

broccoli man: i saw what you did

broccoli man: in the group chat earlier

broccoli man: trying to defend us

broccoli man: does the whole group know?

broccoli man: about me and todoroki?

pure-avity: iida figured it out after Todoroki texted him from your phone when you guys didn’t come down to breakfast

pure-avity: tsuyu just figured it out on her own

broccoli man: she’s too smart

broccoli man: i just wanted to thank you

broccoli man: I really appreciate you guys trying to defend me and Todoroki

broccoli man: and todo really appreciates it too

broccoli man: but

pure-avity: we only brought more attention to you guys

broccoli man: a little bit

pure-avity: we’re really sorry

pure-avity: bakugou just really got on my nerves

broccoli man: he was right, though

broccoli man: you guys do tease other people like they were teasing us

pure-avity: i know

pure-avity: i figured that I was being a little hypocritical but he just made me so mad

broccoli man: i don’t know why he was acting like that

broccoli man: lately he’s been calm

broccoli man: then again, I can never read kacchan right

pure-avity: he’s a hard guy to read

pure-avity: uh

pure-avity: when you didn’t come down for breakfast

pure-avity: did anything happen that night??

broccoli man: NOOOOOOOOOO

broccoli man: i told you, we’re not rushing into a relationship or anything

broccoli man: all we did was cuddle and talk for a while

pure-avity: no kisses???

broccoli man: KJHRGUHAUHIGAHOG i only confessed like two weeks ago

pure-avity: not even on the cheek?

broccoli man: … one kiss on the cheek

pure-avity: cheeky

broccoli man: OIHGOUHAGOUHAOUH I can’t believe you

pure-avity: bitch I KNOW you’re holding urself back from rambling about him

pure-avity: i wanna know EVERYTHING

broccoli man: KJBGEKUGuuo NOTHING REALLY HAPPENED

broccoli man: we were just talking about random stuff

broccoli man: whatever came to our minds

broccoli man: he’s so goofy

broccoli man: sero was wrong when he said he’s serious on the outside, he’s just really aloof

broccoli man: the way he blushes kjagughouahgoud ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

broccoli man: i can’t handle it

pure-avity: too soft for my heart….

broccoli man: shhhhh go show love to your girlfriend

pure-avity: ;)

broccoli man: bye

class 1-GAY

Iida Tenya: Here is a reminder to begin setting your alarms again if you haven’t been already! Take advantage of UA’s gym and training grounds! We start school again in three days.

sparky: UGH

sparky: don’t remind us

sparky: hell part 2

Iida Tenya: I happen to find school activities enjoyable.

sparky: some of them are fun but,,, hhhh the WORK

useful lesbian: did everybody do the break homework?

acid trip: HUH

sparky: what

why so sero-ous: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

invisabitch: uhhhh

ojiro: we didn’t have homework???

useful lesbian: I know

useful lesbian: I’m just teasing all of you

sparky: what the FUCK momo

sparky: I just had a heartattack

useless lesbian: ha stupid

sparky: fuck u butthead

sparky: make ur gf say sorry >:(

useless lesbian: stay mad

sparky: useless lesbian

useless lesbian: that’s me

18:56

detective pikachu & hard

detective pikachu: babe

detective pikachu: u okay? I haven’t seen you all day

detective pikachu: wow I sound clingy

hard: i fucked up

hard: with bakugou

hard: and I have to fix my mess

detective pikachu: anything you can tell me?

hard: i’ll explain everything later

detective pikachu: okay

detective pikachu: let me know when you wanna talk about it

hard: yeah

hard: I will

class 1-GAY

invisabitch: I have this overwhelming feeling that aizawa is gonna murder us when we start school again

ojiro: i wouldn’t be surprised

acid trip: i found his yearbook

acid trip: his senior quote matched with present mic’s and midnight’s

invisabitch: AW

invisabitch: that’s so sweet

[redacted] added louis vuitton eyebags to class 1-GAY

louis vuitton eyebags: put that book back in the teacher’s lounge or so help me god

acid trip: wack

louis vuitton eyebags: ashido

acid trip: UGHHHHHH ok

louis vuitton eyebags: i don’t get paid enough for this

louis vuitton eyebags left class 1-gay

gravity falls: this is starting to get concerning

pepe: who’s adding him to the chat

gravity falls: god????

acid trip: i’m big sad now

acid trip: did you guys know that the wild wild pussycats graduated the same year as aizawa, midnight and present mic?

acid trip: our teachers were in 3A though

acid trip: the WWP were in 3B

pepe: I thought that pixie bob was older

why so sero-ous: pixie bob gives off MILF vibes

why so sero-ous: but without the ILF part

Pros

louis vuitton eyebags: my students are fucking nightmares

Endeavor: Don’t take the job if you can’t handle them.

louis vuitton eyebags: fuck off I’m handling your child better than you did

louis vuitton eyebags: ok anyways

louis vuitton eyebags: @Pixie Bob they think you give off MILF vibes

Pixie Bob: WHAT

chiken wangz: LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO

chiken wangz: your students really are something else

chiken wangz: mad respect

y’know, like… nya: i

y’know, like… nya:

Pixie Bob: Tell me you’re joking

toll changed Pixie Bob’s screenname to MILF

MILF: No

MILF: No

MILF: I’m too young to be a milf

MILF: I’m only 31

MILF: 18 on the inside

MILF: Guys

MILF: Come on

MILF: Oh my God

Chapter Text

02:34

class 1-GAY

explodomurderking: so help me god if whoever’s blasting Minecraft on my mind at full volume doesn’t fucking stop right now I’m going to track you down and rip your throat out

hard & bakugay

hard: KATSUKI

hard: I KNOW YOU’RE ON YOUR PHONE

hard: PLEASE ANSWER

hard: I KNOW I FUCKED UP

hard: WE NEED TO TALK

hard: PLEASE STOP IGNORING ME

Pros

Vlad King: Who the FUCK is playing that godawful music at this time of night

LOUD: WHAT DO YOU MEAN GODAWFUL

LOUD: THIS IS THE MUSIC OF THE HEAVENS

louis vuitton eyebags: i’m about to fucking quit my job

class 1-GAY

[redacted] added louis vuitton eyebags to class 1-GAY

louis vuitton eyebags: kaminari

louis vuitton eyebags: if you don’t shut that music off right now

louis vuitton eyebags: you’re expelled

sparky: but present mic is singing along

louis vuitton eyebags: exactly

louis vuitton eyebags left class 1-GAY

sparky: i

sparky: okay

07:35

sparky: MY PET FISH DROWNED

Icythot: It deserved it

useless lesbian: good

sparky: a guy plays Minecraft on my mind at 2:30 AM ONCE and suddenly everybody wants him to die

useless lesbian: we literally have school day after tomorrow

sparky: and????

Iida Tenya: What made you think

Iida Tenya: That it was a good idea

Iida Tenya: To do that?

sparky: hoes mad :/

ojiro: i will hit you with my tail

sparky: :o

sparky: i thought we had something special

ojiro: i can’t be friends with someone who likes minecraft on my mind unironically

sparky: but oji ;-;

ojiro: it’s over, kaminari

sparky: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ojiro: and I’m keeping the pokecards

sparky: my entire life savings

sparky: GONE

sparky: surely we can make this work

ojiro: my decision is final

sparky: but tail scritches ….

ojiro:

ojiro: decision lifted

sparky: i knew it

sugar daddy: tail scritches????

sparky: tail soft

sparky: i pet tail

ojiro: it feels nice

invisabitch: I didn’t even know you guys were friends

sparky: WHAAAAA

sparky: ojiro’s my best bro

sparky: my man

why so sero-ous: wow

knuckles: ok

sparky: one* of my best bros

knuckles: <3

sparky: <3

why so sero-ous: bro…

sparky: bro…

acid trip: a girl goes to her parents’ house for one night and misses kaminari blasting MOMM

acid trip: i’m mad

Icythot: Why would you be mad

acid trip: i would have sang along >:(

Icythot: What the fuck is wrong with this class

izukuwu: our class is just … different

izukuwu: but they’re still our class and they’re our friends

izukuwu: <3

sparky: AWWWWWW MIDO

acid trip: mido always knows what to say

izukuwu: i’m just telling the truth!!!!

octoman: you’re adorable

izukuwu: UHGUOGHOUAHSOU STOP

gravity falls: he’s tellin the truth ;)

pepe: you’re a great friend, midoriya

Iida Tenya: I am very glad to have met you!

izukuwu: i’m literally about to combust guys PLEASE

Daddy Issues & broccoli man

Daddy Issues: This may sound a bit extreme, but meeting you has, quite literally, changed my mindset and my life

broccoli man: TODOROKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LKGUHUOHGOIhohgohgoiO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

class 1-GAY

why so sero-ous: yo why is mido crying

izukuwu: I’M JUST SO HAPP Y

izukuwu: TO HAVE YOU GUYS IN MY LIFE

acid trip: WE LOVE YOU !!!!!!!!!!!

why so sero-ous: yeah man u one of the coolest guys I’ve met B)

knuckles: you’re super manly dude, I appreciate that in a guy

gravity falls: he’s crying even harder now

izukuwu: i can’t handle this

octoman: you’re a crazy dude

octoman: literally fought someone with regenerating muscles and broke all the bones in your arms just to save a kid

octoman: if that doesn’t scream hero, I don’t know what does

izukuwu: LKNOIjoinbvoinvipOFKBSKJ JJKbubajnjv dja

gravity falls: we broke him

hard & bakugay

hard: bakugou please

hard: i'm really sorry

hard: what I said what stupid

hard: I know you’ve changed

hard: please just talk to me

 

Chapter Text

07:45

class 1-GAY

Iida Tenya: Everybody get up! We’re doing a training exercise together in preparation for school!

Iida Tenya: If you are not down within the next 30 minutes I will come to your room and bring you out here myself.

sparky: it’s the day before school starts

sparky: please let us rest

Iida Tenya: And let you sleep in until 11AM? I don’t think so.

sparky: iida PLEASE

Iida Tenya: Tick tock, you have 26 minutes.

sparky: UGH

acid trip: we will riot

Iida Tenya: 24 minutes, Ashido.

 


 

“Bakugou! We gotta talk.”

“No.”

 


 

11:49

ojiro: i’m so tired

acid trip: my hands hurt so much

Iida Tenya: Stop being a bunch of babies. It was refreshing to train together as a class again.

izukuwu: it was a good exercise

sparky: mido you’re practically a god ok

gravity falls: let us mere mortals wallow in our pain and filth

izukuwu: come on guyssss

izukuwu: hey, it’s pretty early

izukuwu: let’s go grab lunch together!

 

acid trip: i'm broke

sparky: me too

invisabitch: me three :(

useful bisexual: It’s a little dangerous for class 1A in its entirety to go outside

useful bisexual: how about we just order food to Heights Alliance? I’ll tell Eraserhead

gravity falls: that’s a good idea, but it doesn’t solve our money problem

Icythot: Order whatever you guys want

Icythot: I’ll pay

ojiro: why would you do that

Icythot: Fuck Endeavor

ojiro: valid

useful bisexual: Sensei approves!

sparky: DOPE

14:04

Pros

louis vuitton eyebags: my students are actual nightmares

louis vuitton eyebags: when I authorized them to get food I did not mean for them to get food from 5 separate places

Endeavor: Is this really how you handle these children? It sounds awfully irresponsible.

Endeavor: Especially since my child is in that very class.

LOUD: SHOUTA IS ONE OF THE BEST TEACHERS AT YUUEI, PLEASE DO NOT UNDERMINE HIM.

LOUD: THOSE STUDENTS ARE LIKE HIS CHILDREN.

fucking quiet ass bitch & FUCKING LOUD ASS BITCH

fucking quiet ass bitch: it’s ok zashi

fucking quiet ass bitch: endeavor can talk all his shit

fucking quiet ass bitch: it doesn’t matter

FUCKING LOUD ASS BITCH: IT MAKES ME MAD

fucking quiet ass bitch: i know babe

FUCKING LOUD ASS BITCH: HE’S JUST MAD THAT HE’S NOT GETTING ANY

fucking quiet ass bitch: probably

FUCKING LOUD ASS BITCH: GUESS WHAT ENDEAVOR? OUR SEX LIVES ARE GREAT

fucking quiet ass bitch: jesus christ

Pros

louis vuitton eyebags: ok anyways

Captain Japan: Aizawa happens to be a fantastic teacher! Under his guidance, these children are blooming into outstanding future pro-heros!

rated r: tfw all might couldn’t be bothered enough to talk in the group chat until someone insults his bf

Captain Japan: I have my priorities in check

13: still can’t believe all might likes dick

Captain Japan: Why do you have to phrase it like that?

Captain Japan: What’s the word kids use these days… bisexual? That is what I am

toll: bisexual KING

louis vuitton eyebags: what has my life become

jokester: lighten up eraser

jokester: quit acting like you’re a 75-year-old retired man

louis vuitton eyebags: i am on the inside

jokester: don’t make me come over there and make me use my quirk on you

louis vuitton eyebags: you literally live an hour away from me

jokester: I’ll figure it out

eraserhead’s bitches

FUCKING LOUD ASS BITCH: SHOUTA DOGPILE??????

fucking happy ass bitch: SHOUTA DOGPILE!!!!

fricking tired ass bitch: Shouta dogpile!!!

fucking quiet ass bitch: why am I dating ANY of you

FUCKING LOUD ASS BITCH: BECAUSE YOU LOVE US

fucking quiet ass bitch: unfortunately

fucking happy ass bitch: !!!!!!! <3 <3 <3

fricking tired ass bitch: It’s okay, because we love you too

fucking quiet ass bitch: i guess that makes it worth it

16:43

class 1-GAY

sparky: man I’m fuckin STUFFED

Iida Tenya: Put all the unfinished food in the refrigerator, everybody.

acid trip: that stuffed crust pizza really fuckin hit it

useful bisexual: Kyouka and I will be napping on the couch

useful bisexual: Well she already is napping and I can’t get up so I don’t really have a choice other than to nap with her

invisabitch: it feels like it’s 10pm

invisabitch: but it’s only 5

ojiro: i’m so drowsy now

sparky: sero, kirishima, mina and I made a pillow fort in the common room

sparky: everybody is invited :D

broccoli man & Daddy Issues

broccoli man: do you wanna go?

Daddy Issues: I’d rather just nap with you in either of our dorms, if that’s okay

Daddy Issues: Or is that too much

Daddy Issues: For what we are right now

Daddy Issues: Sorry

broccoli man: it’s okay

broccoli man: i’d rather nap with you too :)

Daddy Issues: Okay

Daddy Issues: Your dorm or my dorm?

broccoli man: i’ll come to yours

Daddy Issues: Okay

18:29

class 1-GAY

invisabitch: [1 attachment: hepetsthetail.png]

invisabitch: they!!!!

sparky: it’s just SOFT leave me alone kjgauhguijf

acid trip: ojiro’s so blissed out aw

ojiro: it feels nice

gravity falls: it’s so nice

gravity falls: spending our last break day like this

pepe: yeah

invisabitch: did bakugou not come down???

acid trip: nah

acid trip: we tried to convince him but he told us that he needed to train

acid trip: he’s fucking nuts

invisabitch: he can’t just chill for once?

explodomurderking: stop talking about me like I’m not even in the fucking chat

explodomurderking: and I came down to eat food earlier so hop off

acid trip: but we miss u, blasty

sparky: yeah man we need u down here

knuckles: it’s empty without you dude

explodomurderking: fuck off

acid trip: sighhhh

acid trip: he’s probably just stressed because school’s starting

explodomurderking: i have nothing to be stressed about, i’m #3 in the class

explodomurderking: so go fuck yourselves

acid trip: hmm

acid trip: okayyy :(

acid trip: sigh

acid trip: i’m so depressed without my dear blasty here

explodomurderking: STOP TRYING TO GUILT TRIP ME INTO CUDDLING YOU

 


 

“Hey, babe?”

“What’s up?”

“Do you… ah, have feelings for blasty?”

“Wh-What?”

“I just… I don’t know, I’ve just been noticing that you, uh, look at him the same way you look at me sometimes.”

“Uh…”

“Please don’t lie to me, Ei.”

“I, uh, yeah. A little. But they’re not strong, or anything! He’s my best friend, above everything else. I’m not trying to go for him, if-if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“If…If he had feelings for you too, would you break up with me?”

“No. God, baby, no. I’ve been waiting for this for months, I wouldn’t just leave you like that.”

“…Okay. Okay.”

“Hey. Hey. Give me a kiss, yeah?”

“Anything you want.”

Chapter Text

06:50

class 1-GAY

sparky: first day of school, huh

sparky: we’ve known each other for a year now

sparky: that’s crazy

acid trip: it’s too early for this

acid trip: after waking up at 10 on an almost-daily basis, I feel like I’m dying

Iida Tenya: Lighten up, everybody! It will be refreshing to start school once more.

Iida Tenya: Waking up on time, eating right, training yourself… They are all traits of a good lifestyle!

acid trip: UGHHHHH but me lazy

acid trip: and tired

sparky: felt that

izukuwu: i'm about to faint

Iida Tenya: Why? Are you okay?

izukuwu: i just had some trouble falling asleep last night

izukuwu: probably because I took a 3-hour nap midday but

izukuwu: i’m up now and that’s what matters!!!

gravity falls: izu is the grumpiest person ever in the morning

izukuwu: i’m just not a morning person,,,,

gravity falls: you threw a pillow at my head when I tried to wake you up once

gravity falls: WITH your quirk activated

izukuwu: it was an accident,,,,

gravity falls: ACCIDENT

gravity falls: if I didn’t float it, it would’ve taken my head off

izukuwu: you’re overexaggerating kjbgkadbvdzuig

Daddy Issues & broccoli man

Daddy Issues: No she’s not

broccoli man: FHIUAHGUNJZ

broccoli man: SHH

class 1-GAY

ojiro: woah

ojiro: we’re class 2-A now

invisabitch: that sounds so weird

sugar daddy: should we change the group name?

birb: i am having an existential crisis

octoman: oh my god

pepe: i think we should

pepe: why not? class 1-A is now in the past, no reason to keep hanging on

pepe: we’ll make memories at class 2-A

invisabitch: AWWWWWW

invisabitch: TSUYUUUUUU

invisabitch: I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE SO CHEESY

pepe: i’m just telling the truth,,

gravity falls: you’re so cute

pepe: you’re cuter

sparky: ha

sparky: gay

gravity falls: you’re literally in a relationship with kirishima

sparky: and what about it?

pepe changed the chat name to class 2-GAY

pepe: there we go :-)

why so sero-ous: so you put noses with your emoticons..

pepe: try to imagine someone without a nose and then get back to me

why so sero-ous: voldemort

pepe: exactly

acid trip: class in 20 minutes,,,

Icythot: I can assure you, sensei will be at least 10 minutes late

sugar daddy: do you guys think he got a new sleeping bag?

pepe: we’ll just have to see

acid trip: good luck whores see u in 5

why so sero-ous: see u!!

knuckles: see you soon!

useful bisexual: see you guys soon! cannot wait to be working with everybody again :)

useless lesbian: isn’t my gf so cute

useful bisexual: jgubfoighiohurhh

sparky: quit that gay shit and go to class

useless lesbian: god kaminari just LEAVE US ALONE

sparky: wow ok fuck u jirou

sparky: see if I let you rant to me about momo’s soft hair again

useless lesbian: die

sparky: learning from blasty I see

Iida Tenya: Get to class!!!!

8:14

acid trip: [1 attachment: newsleepingbag!!!!!!.png]

acid trip: upgrade!

11:59

sparky: u-uwu daddy can I get some cummies

ojiro left class 2-GAY

Icythot: What is wrong with you

invisabitch added ojiro to class 2-GAY

invisabitch: no

ojiro: i can’t deal with this

invisabitch: no

gravity falls: u-uwu daddy may I please have some cummies?

gravity falls: i'll be good

sugar daddy: why are you guys like this

cat whisperer: ;-;

birb: dark shadow just started laughing in the middle of class

birb: curse this godforsaken quirk

Icythot: Is there a way to mute Kaminari and Uraraka

Icythot: Can we do that

sugar daddy: unfortunately not

Icythot: Goddamnit

Iida Tenya: Pay attention to Midnight, everybody!!!

Iida Tenya: We are not in school for you guys to be texting on your phones!!!

gravity falls: yes dad

acid trip: yes dad

izukuwu: yes dad

Icythot: Yes dad

invisabitch: yes dad

ojiro: ok pops

Iida Tenya left class 2-GAY

gravity falls: KJEGOIGHODJOIGEHGUR

sugar daddy: it’s a miracle he hasn’t had a stroke yet

sparky: rip iida

sparky: f to pay respects

acid trip: f

why so sero-ous: f

gravity falls: f

pepe: f

useless lesbian: f

Icythot: F

 


 

 “Bakugou!”

“…”

“Bakugou, we need to talk!”

“We don’t hafta talk about shit, ugly hair. Get your shitty mitts off of me.”

“Listen man, I didn’t come to you in person for three days. I gave you space. We gotta resolve this before it gets worse.”

“Before what gets worse? Everything’s fuckin’ peachy, dickhead. Now leave me alone.”

“Everything’s peachy? Really?”

“Yeah, asshole. Is this interrogation over?”

“I don’t think ‘everything’s peachy’, Bakugou. The only time you spoke today was to answer role call. Is that what you call ‘peachy’?”

“I jus’ wasn’t feelin’ like talking, that’s all. So yes, everything is fucking peachy. Now get off my dick.”

“Bakugou, I can’t just sit around pretending nothing’s wrong!”

“You don’t have to pretend, it’s the fucking truth.”

“Clearly, something is wrong with you! Listen, I know what I said wa-“

“You think it’s obvious something’s wrong with me? What, you think you can read me? You think our shitty conversation got on my nerves or somethin’? ‘Wow, Katsuki got hurt by something I said, what a fuckin’ pussy’. You think you have me figured out, huh? Think I’m weak, that you’re so cool for figuring out how to hurt my feelings?!”

“That’s not at all what I thought -!”

“Well, guess what, shitty hair! You clearly don’t know me at all!”

“Bakug-“

“If you knew me at all, you’d know that I’m fuckin’ trying! You wouldn’t say that dumb shit, talkin’ ‘bout how I “haven’t changed at all”! I-I’m fuckin’ trying, okay?! Y-You’re one of the only people that I actively try to show that I’m changing, you fucking- fucking dickhead! I’m doing all this shit and -sniffle- and you say that I haven’t changed at all?!”

“Bakugou…”

“No, fuck you! Fuck you, Kirishima! Don’t- don’t fucking touch me, get off me! Let me fucking go! L-Let me -sob- fucking go, asshole, I’ll fuckin’ explode you. Don’t touch me, don’t t-touch me, don’t -sob- touch me! I hate you! Let go!”

“I’m sorry, Bakugou, I know you’re tryin’, man, I do. I didn’t mean it, I swear. I know you. I know how hard you try, even if you don’t show everybody else. You’re my best friend, how could I not see it?”

“… let go… “

“I see it, Bakugou, I see it. I fucked up when I was textin’ you. You’ve already changed so much. You’re so different, and you’re doin’ so well, man. I’m so sorry, so, so sorry.”

“…”

“C’mon man, just chill. Let’s just chill for now. You okay with me hugging you now?”

“… -sniff- whatever.”

“Alright, man, we’re just gonna chill like this for now. Later we can get that spicy-ass kimchi you like, yeah?”

“You’re paying.”

“Yeah, I will. Wanna stay here or go to my dorm?”

“Dorm, I guess.”

“’Kay. Watch your step when you get up.”

“’Watch your step when you get up’. What am I, a fuckin’ baby?”

“There’s my Blasty.”

“Fuck off, cheesy piece of shit.”

Chapter Text

19:45

class 2-GAY

sparky: it smells so bad in the boys’ locker room

sparky: it’s making me horny

ojiro: what

sparky: what

why so sero-ous: todoroki just left LMFAO

Icythot: I’m done

sparky: what will I do without your masculine musk

Icythot: Die, I guess

sparky: todoroki has subtracted himself from the smequation

sparky: it’s like removing one of the gases from air

sparky: i’m suffocating

sugar daddy: smequation?

sparky: smell equation

sugar daddy: only you, kaminari

sparky: owo

Icythot: Why am I here

Icythot: I could have gone to any other school

Icythot: Put in any other class

Icythot: And I ended up in 1-A

sparky: you know u love me shoucchan

Icythot: Did you actually just call me Shoucchan

Icythot: Wow

Icythot has left class 2-GAY

izukuwu added Icythot to class 2-GAY

izukuwu changed Icythot’s screenname to Shoucchan

Shoucchan: Thanks I hate it

01:34

gravity falls: ohhhh my god guysb pleaseiunufn

gravity falls: i’m about to cry

pepe: what happened!!!?????

gravity falls: I was just

gravity falls: getting some water from the kitchen

gravity falls: and I turned around and I saw these two eyes STARING at me

gravity falls: like just the eyes

gravity falls: like a cat

gravity falls: then they started coming closer and I ran away

pepe: i?????

sparky: ARE WE BEING HAUNTED

sparky: SPOOKY SPIRITS ARE YOU THERE

[redacted] added spooky spirit to class 2-GAY

spooky spirit: yes

spooky spirit: you’re first, kaminari

sparky: first

sparky: FIRST

sparky: FIRST FOR WHAT

spooky spirit: goodbye

sparky: WAIT

spooky spirit left class 2-GAY

sparky: i

sparky: i’m gonna die

sparky: oh my god

sparky: even worse that it’s at a ghost’s hands

sparky: oh my god guys im dead

explodomurderking: rip

explodomurderking: rest in pieces

explodomurderking: AHA HA

izukuwu: calm down kaminari, maybe it meant first for something nice!!!!

izukuwu: like first in line at lunch tomorrow!!!

sparky: a ghost added itself to the chat

sparky: told me I’m first in a super spooky way

sparky: and you think he’s saying I’ll be first IN LINE FOR LUNCH????

izukuwu: maybe!!!!! you never know

Icythot: Ever the optimist

Icythot: Careful when you sleep, Kaminari

Icythot: Keep an eye out for the ghost

Icythot: You don’t know what’s gonna happen when you’re not looking

sparky: oh my GOD

birb: kaminari

birb: dark shadow says to shut the fuck up

birb: we can hear you crying from my room

sparky: I’M GOING TO DIE

broccoli man & Daddy Issues

broccoli man: todo

broccoli man: you’re so CRUEL

Daddy Issues: What could you possibly be talking about?

Daddy Issues: :)

04:32

sparky: i can’t sleep

sparky: i’m too spooked

sparky: there’s a weird creaking noise in the hallway

sparky: SOMEONE’S KNOCKING ON MY DOOR

sparky: I’M LITERALLY CRYING GUYS PLEASE RESCUE ME

sparky: GUYS I’M GONNA FUCKING DIE

sparky: okay the knocking stopped

sparky: NOW THERE’S BANGING

sparky: I’M LITERALLY SOVBING SOME1ONE HELPD

hard & bakugay

hard: stop scaring my boyfriend!!!!!!!!!

bakugay: but it’s so funny

hard: >:(

bakugay: text machine broke

hard: bakugou

hard: BAKUGOU

hard: oh my god

class 2-GAY

knuckles: don’t worry babe I’ll come

sparky: the

sparky: the banging stopped?

knuckles: the ghost saw me coming and dipped

sparky: SO THERE IS A GHOST

sparky: AND IT’S OUT FOR ME

sparky: OH MY GOD

bakugay & hard

bakugay: HAHA IDIOT

hard: i cant believe this

class 2-GAY

knuckles: baby if its scared of me it won’t come after you again

knuckles: i’ll protect you <3

sparky: LET’S FYCKING FACE IT EI YOU CANT DO SHIT AGAINST THE SUPERNATURAL

sparky: WE’RE ALL GONNA FUCKING DIE

knuckles: christ

08:30

izukuwu: does anybody want to train???

explodomurderking: shut the fuck up before I stomp on you

explodomurderking: dwarf

izukuwu: ok FIRST OF ALL

izukuwu: I’m 5’5

izukuwu: pretty average for a person my age

izukuwu: second of all

izukuwu: I literally just asked if someone wanted to train

explodomurderking: what I said still stands

izukuwu: try it

explodomurderking: is that a challenge?

izukuwu: it’s however you take it

izukuwu: kacchan

explodomurderking: i’m gonna beat your ass

izukuwu: you can try

bakusquad

E.T.: are they FLIRTING

E.T.: are lil mido and bakubro FLIRTING

detective pikachu: this seems pretty gay

scotch tape: kinda surreal

E.T.: oh please

E.T.: as if we didn’t know they would end up like this

scotch tape: my mouth is shut

13:20

class 2-GAY

gravity falls: i'm craving a watermelon

gravity falls: do we have any fresh watermelon in the kitchen

pepe: no

pepe: i think we used the last one to see if midoriya could crush one open with his thighs

acid trip: did

acid trip: did he do it

Iida Tenya: Yes, he did! It was a very impressive display of raw strength. I was in awe.

invisabitch: dear LORD

sparky: i,,,, did not need that visual

gravity falls: this doesn’t solve my dilemma

gravity falls: i want a watermelon

useful bisexual: i can make you one!!!

gravity falls: what

sparky: what

why so sero-ous: what

invisabitch: what

useful bisexual: yeah haha I can make food!!

useful bisexual: i usually don’t because :/// money flow through the economy

acid trip: rich people issues

useful bisexual: also I know people would start asking me for food all the time

useful bisexual: (please don’t)

useful bisexual: but yes I can make you a watermelon!!!

gravity falls: c

gravity falls: can u make it juicy

useful bisexual: the juiciest!!

ojiro: there’s an innuendo hidden in there and I don’t want to dive too deep into it

sparky: t-tiddy watermelon

why so sero-ous: TIDDY WATERMELON

sparky: MOMO BREASTFED URARAKA

sparky: HAHA

sparky: I’VE NEVER FELT FUNNIER THAN I DO RIGHT NOW

useful bisexual: i

useful bisexual blocked sparky

Shoucchan: We can do that????

Shoucchan: We can block people???

acid trip: yes

Shoucchan: Wtf

sparky: WHAT THE HELL

sparky: SOMEONE TELL HER TO UNBLOCK ME

sparky: BESTIE I WAS JOKING

useless lesbian: she told me to tell you that some things cannot be forgiven

sparky: but how will I survive,,,,

sparky: without my big booby bestfriend….

useless lesbian: sucks to be u I guess

Chapter Text

16:32

broccoli man & hag

broccoli man: hey hagakure

hag: hi mido!!!!!!

broccoli man: do you mind if I ask you about your quirk????

hag: not at all!!!!! go ahead

broccoli man: so your quirk is being invisible, right

broccoli man: like

broccoli man: you were visible until you were 4

hag: yes

broccoli man: so it’s an involuntary quirk???

hag: I mean

hag: pretty much, yeah

broccoli man: so let’s say you ingested a quirk restrainer

broccoli man: would you become visible???

hag: i

hag: huh

hag: probably

broccoli man: can we try???

hag: i’d love to but

hag: where would you get quirk suppressant

broccoli man: i asked recovery girl for some and explained the situation

broccoli man: she gave me a small dose to simply see if it would work

hag: alrighty!!! you can come to my room and we’ll try it out

broccoli man: this is gonna be so cool

broccoli man: be right there

17:45

class 2-GAY

izukuwu: GUYS

izukuwu: HAGAKURE IS VISIBLE

acid trip: SHUT UP

pepe: are you serious????

izukuwu: YES

izukuwu: SHE DRANK QUIRK SUPPRESSANT AND NOW SHES VISIBLE

izukuwu: WE’RE COMING TO THE COMMON ROOM IN A FEW

invisabitch: I just have to do something first

invisabitch: come down in 10 if you wanna see

 


 

knock, knock.

“Oji?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“Have you seen the group chat yet?”

“No, why?”

“Uh, turn around.”

“Okay- what.”

“…You okay? I-I know it’s a shock, but Midoriya wanted to experiment and I was kind of curious, too…”

“…”

“Mashi?”

“You’re… You’re gorgeous.”

“I- Really?”

“Yeah. Wow.”

“Th-thank y- woah! Babe, we don’t have time for k-kisses, I have to go down in, like, five minutes.”

“What? Why?”

“We- we promised the class that they could see, and, um…”

“Damn. Fine, let’s go down.”

“Sorry, Mashi…”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Let’s just go down, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

 


 

class 2-GAY

acid trip: THIS JUST IN: HAGAKURE IS A BAD FUCKING BITCH

acid trip: [1 attachment: isthislegal.jpg]

gravity falls: so pretty <3

useless lesbian: pretty girl…

useful bisexual: she is gorgeous!!!!!!!!

pepe: cute as heck!!!!

sparky: wowie

invisabitch: sensei saw me and got SO CONFUSED kjbubgiubjadb

invisabitch: he recognized my voice tho so it’s all good

Pros

louis vuitton eyebags: i’m not paid enough to do my job

y’know, like… nya: what happened

louis vuitton eyebags: life

21:44

class 2-GAY

invisabitch: quirk suppressant still going strong

invisabitch: hopefully it will wear off by Monday

izukuwu: it should wear off a day after being ingested!!

invisabitch: okey dokie

hag & furry tail man

hag: u and shin in ur room?

furry tail man: yeah

hag: aii I’m omw

hag: did he say anything ab why he’s not in 2-A??

furry tail man: apparently he’s training/learning with aizawa 1-on-1 to catch up to where we are right now

furry tail man: he should be able to transfer to 2-A for sure by the third semester

hag: ohhh ok

hag: see u soon

furry tail man: see u

bakugou & hag

bakugou: i need you to do me a favor tomorrow

hag: what do u need

23:15

class 1-GAY

sparky: ok boys self-judge

sparky: are u a twink, twunk, hunk, or bear

acid trip: satou is definitely a bear

sugar daddy: hm

sugar daddy changed their screenname to bear

acid trip: jkgnueabh

knuckles: uhh??? hunk ig

octoman: um

birb: none. i am an exclusive breed

ojiro: uhhh

sparky: ojiro you’re excluded you’re a furry

sparky: you too tokoyami

ojiro: stop calling me a furry

sparky: no, no I don’t think I will

sparky: idek what shouji is

sparky: shouji is his own category of bear

octoman: ok I guess

explodomurderking: sparky’s a twink

sparky: rude >:(

acid trip: … is he wrong

sparky: i pour my blood, sweat, and tears into my friendships and this is what I get

why so sero-ous: yes

acid trip: yes

sparky: wow

sparky: ok

why so sero-ous: i still love u kami <3 no homo

sparky: bro

why so sero-ous: bro

why so sero-ous: idk what I am

why so sero-ous: i'm a frat boy

why so sero-ous: does that count

acid trip: sure

gravity falls: i think bakugou’s gonna grow up to be a bear

gravity falls: and deku’s gonna be a mix of twunk and bear

gravity falls: twuear

gravity falls: or beawunk

Shoucchan: Huh

Shoucchan: That sounds strangely accurate

izukuwu: IHOGIHOGOVISJFMA

izukuwu: i dislike that immensely

explodomurderking: oh please

explodomurderking: deku’s a fuckin twink

izukuwu: i am not

octoman: idk ab that man

octoman: midoriya’s ripped

octoman: and he’s only been training for

octoman: two years?

octoman: I don’t even know how he’ll look when he’s older

acid trip: shouji is literally midoriya’s #1 fan

gravity falls: no

Iida Tenya: No.

pepe: definitely not

acid trip: #4

Shoucchan: #5

acid trip: #5 it is, then

izukuwu: jdhgouheagunv

cat whisperer: soft bear

cat whisperer: very soft bear

bear: valid

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama *:・゚*:・゚: currently I am a twink

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama *:・゚*:・゚: but in my final form, I am a twunk

acid trip: you are so valid, aoyama

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama *:・゚*:・゚: merci <3

sparky: i, too, am a twunk in my final form

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama *:・゚*:・゚: i am glad i inspired mon ami <3

sparky: thank u for my life

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama *:・゚*:・゚✧: de rien

 gravity falls: where’s iida

gravity falls: he’s definitely a bear

izukuwu: … yeah

pepe: oh yeah

Shoucchan: Yeah

Iida Tenya: Am I a bear?

Iida Tenya: I give off bear vibes?

Iida Tenya: Huh. You learn something new every day.

acid trip: he accepted it so quickly

Iida Tenya: I would not engage in this discussion, but when I think about it, I don’t think any other label fits me.

gravity falls: u are so adorable

Iida Tenya: Thank you, Ochako :D

gravity falls: jhgiohguhgi

gravity falls: my child

invisabitch: todoroki is a hunk rn

invisabitch: might grow up to be a bear

Shoucchan: Thanks, I guess

Iida Tenya: It is pretty late, I think everybody should go to sleep!

Iida Tenya: It might be Saturday tomorrow, but still. Keep up good habits even when you do not have to.

sparky: it’s only 12 :/

Iida Tenya: :/

08:45

ojiro: why did I just walk into the common room to see kaminari in a cow onesie singing along to doja cat’s moo song

acid trip: it’s his spirit song

acid trip: let him rock :/

Shoucchan: So that’s why he needed my onesie

ojiro: why do you have a cow onesie

Shoucchan: No reason

ojiro: sus

Shoucchan: Maybe

Shoucchan: Maybe not

Chapter Text

20:40

class 2-GAY

sparky: YO

sparky: everybody come to the living room

sparky: we’re doin some ~spooky shit ~

knuckles: don’t tell me that it has something to do with an ouiji board

sparky:

knuckles: goddamnit kami

sparky: LISTEN

sparky: if we do have a ghost amongst us

sparky: we need to know what the fuck is going on

pepe: and whose genius idea was this

sparky: bakubabe’s

explodomurderking: stop calling me that

sparky: but babe

explodomurderking: shut the fuck up

ojiro: uhhh

ojiro: not gonna lie

ojiro: it’s kinda suspicious that bakugou suggested that

explodomurderking: the fuck is that supposed to mean

ojiro: um

ojiro: nothing

explodomurderking: that’s what I fucking thought

explodomurderking: anyways

explodomurderking: let’s get this fuckin show on the road

explodomurderking: @everyone come downstairs or else

bakugou, hag, & pure-avity

bakugou: you guys ready?

hag: this is gonna be so sick

pure-avity: coming down rn!!

bakugou: this’ll be fun

hag & pure-avity

hag: he’s so cute when he’s having fun

hag: mischievous

pure-avity: kirishima the bakugou whisperer who? I only know US

class 2-GAY

acid trip: okay guys I’m recording this

acid trip: let’s do it

-

KIRISHIMA: Is this really necessary?

KAMINARI: Yes! We need to know if we’re actually being haunted or not.

OJIRO: I still don’t like this….

BAKUGOU: Shut up, you damn crybaby. Nothing’s gonna happen.

MIDORIYA: I don’t know about that, Kacchan…

BAKUGOU: Shut the fuck up, you damn nerd. Don’t get your fuckin’ panties in a twist.

TODOROKI: The ghost seemed pretty persistent on hurting Kaminari.

KAMINARI: Todoroki, please shut up. Oh, God. Is this a good idea?

BAKUGOU: Yes, you fuckin’ pansy. You’ll realize there’s nothin’ haunting us. You watch way too many horror movies.

AOYAMA: What if it is a nice ghost? Maybe it will let me dress it up…

OJIRO: I doubt that.

OJIRO: Wait, where’s Hagakure?

BAKUGOU: That bitch was feelin’ sick or whatever. Didn’t wanna get you guys sick, too.

OJIRO: Aw.

KOUDA, signing: Do I have to be here?

BAKUGOU: Ehhh. You’re nice, I guess. If you wanna leave, do it or whatever.

KOUDA, signing: Thank you!

KOUDA leaves.

URARAKA: That was awfully sweet of you, Bakugou.

BAKUGOU: Shut the fuck up, no it wasn’t. Die.

ASHIDO, whispering: (to URARAKA) Is Kouda mute, or something?

MIDORIYA: Ah, no, actually! He just prefers signing! Talking is uncomfortable for his throat and rumbles it in a way that makes it scratchy and dry.

ASHIDO: Oh. Should we learn to sign for him?

MIDORIYA: It’s unneeded, but I’m sure he’d appreciate it tremendously.

BAKUGOU: Okay, whatever! We’re getting off track. Let’s fuckin’ do this shit. The board is set up.

KAMINARI: Um, okay.

KAMINARI: Is there anybody with us tonight?

The planchette slides over to YES.

KAMINARI: Fuck. Fuck! Oh fuck. Um, I don’t know what else to ask. Do you hate my class?

The planchette slides over to NO.

KAMINARI: Dope. Um. Uh. Do you hate… me?

The planchette slides over to YES.

KAMINARI: FUCK! Can you say why?

BAKUGOU: I don’t think that’s how it works, idiot.

The planchette slides over multiple letters.

ASHIDO: Y, O, U, R, E, space, A, N, N, O, Y, I, N, G.

ASHIDO: You’re annoying.

BAKUGOU, laughing: Oh God, this is nuts. This is a fucking riot. [wipes tear from eye]

ASHIDO: [talking to her phone] Are you guys seeing this? We have a ghost with us!

ASHIDO, muttering: If this doesn’t get me Twitter famous, I don’t know what will.

OJIRO: Okay, I’m out.

BAKUGOU: Sit down, you damn furry. You’re not going anywhere.

OJIRO: I hate this class.

KAMINARI: Oji. Oji, oh my God. I’m freakin’ out. Let me get that tail.

OJIRO: Sorry, Kaminari, but I’m not trying to get fucked over by a ghost.

KAMINARI: But… scritches…

OJIRO: Maybe later.

KIRISHIMA: Kami. Babe. Calm down. It’ll be even worse if you freak out.

SERO: This is the funniest fucking thing that has happened to us.

MIDORIYA: U-Um, guys, we’ve faced off with villains, Nomu, we’ve fought our own teachers… What’s the worst that a ghost can do?

TODOROKI: I don’t know, Midoriya. A ghost that’s hellbent on hurting Kaminari? We might be fucked.

KAMINARI, pleading: Todoroki, PLEASE shut up.

TSUYU: I don’t think I’ve ever heard you curse, Todoroki.

YAOYOROZU: Me neither.

JIROU: Todoroki, say “cocksucker”.

YAOYOROZU: (scandalized) Kyouka!

KAMINARI: Fuck, guys, just shut up! Uh. Ghostie. Spooky spirits. You still there?

The planchette slides over to YES.

KAMINARI: Cool, cool.

KAMINARI: Um, do you want to hurt me?

The planchette slides over to YES.

KAMINARI: UH. OKAY. OKAY. THAT’S COOL. TOTALLY DOPE.

BAKUGOU: Yo, spooky spirit. You tryna kill Dunce Face?

The planchette slides over to YES.

OJIRO: Oh, shit.

KIRISHIMA: Fuck.

KAMINARI, crying: Guys, I don’t want to die. Oh my God, I don’t want to die. Help me.

TODOROKI: Rest in peace, I guess.

MIDORIYA: [nudges TODOROKI] Shh!

The lights flicker. A knife appears seemingly out of nowhere, pointing towards KAMINARI.

KAMINARI, sobbing: No! Please!

MIDORIYA: Kacchan, cut it out!

BAKUGOU: I dunno what you’re talking about.

KAMINARI: I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die.

MIDORIYA stands up and marches over to the kitchen.

MIDORIYA snatches the knife out of the “ghost’s” hand.

MIDORIYA: Guys, this isn’t funny anymore. Hagakure, please go upstairs and g-get d-dressed.

KAMINARI: The fuck? That’s not Hagakura, that’s a ghost!

BAKUGOU: Yeah, Deku, it’s a ghost.

MIDORIYA: Kacchan, Ochako, you guys took it too far! Kaminari’s practically traumatized!

KAMINARI: Wait, it’s actually Hagakure?

MIDORIYA: Yes!

URARAKA, muttering: I shouldn’t have told him.

BAKUGOU: Round Cheeks, you bitch. You snitched!

URARAKA: I didn’t think he’d tell anyone!

MIDORIYA: Ugh, guys. Kaminari, come here. Everybody else, please go to sleep.

IIDA walks into the room.

IIDA: Why are you all here?

EVERYBODY groans.

Chapter Text

16:41

class 2-GAY

sparky: so u guys know how like

sparky: in bio we learned that all living beings are made of the same genetic makeup

ojiro: yes???

ojiro: where is this going

sparky: so hypothetically

sparky: if i fucked my dog

explodomurderking: for fucks sake

sparky: would that be incest AND beastiality???

knuckles: babe, please

useless lesbian: WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

cat whisperer: you would frick your dog?

cat whisperer: :|

ojiro: i cannot believe that kouda’s first words in this chat are “you would frick your dog?”

ojiro: god i feel so bad for him

ojiro: he should not have to put up with this

sparky: IT WAS HYPOTHETICAL

sparky: on another note

sparky: let’s discuss 1% milk

why so sero-ous: not this again

sparky: WHAT IS THE OTHER 99%

knuckles: drugs

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama *:・゚*:・゚: fabulous juice!

sparky: god I love u aoyama

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama *:・゚*:・゚: ゚・:*。(ꈍᴗꈍ)ε`*)~。*:・゚ je t’aime aussi ma cherie

acid trip: it’s cow cum

izukuwu: oh my god

Iida Tenya: Why are we discussing this

sparky: it is imperative that we discuss this for class bonding time

Iida Tenya: It really is not

gravity falls: technically

gravity falls: isn’t all milk cow cum

gravity falls: when you really think about it?

Iida Tenya: Ochako.

Shoucchan: Woah

explodomurderking: are your brains just fucking filled with cotton

explodomurderking: is that it

acid trip: bakubabe

explodomurderking: what the fuck do you want

acid trip: don’t you drink milk on the daily?

sparky: BAKUGOU LIKES COW CUM?

explodomurderking: SHUT THE FUCK UP NO I DONT

pepe: this class is a nightmare

20:34

Shoucchan: Hello

Shoucchan: Which chipmunk

izukuwu: TODO?!??!?????

sparky: IT’S ALVIN

why so sero-ous: it’s theodore you dipshit

knuckles: it’s definitely alvin

useless bisexual: i, myself, like simon the most!! he is an intellectual and is just overall a nice character

sparky: LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

sparky: momo u poor, innocent soul

useless lesbian: DON’T CORRUPT MY GIRLFRIEND

acid trip: no way in HELL it isn’t alvin

acid trip: his bitch a thot

acid trip: he’s doing the Jordan

invisabitch: alvin overreacts to EVERYTHING

sparky: but you KNOW brittney gives mad head

sparky: she knows all the tricks in the book

sparky: alvin clutching on those sheets for his fucking LIFE

explodomurderking: what the fuck are you guys talking about

sparky: [whichchipmunkgettinthebesthead.png]

explodomurderking:

explodomurderking left class 1-GAY

knuckles added explodomurderking to class 1-GAY

explodomurderking: my life is a fucking nightmare

ojiro: i think its theodore

ojiro: he’s about to pass out from the pleasure

ojiro: would not be surprised if he started crying

・゚: *・゚:* aoyama *:・゚*:・゚: it is alvin! case closed mes amis ;*

Iida Tenya: Who drew that?

Iida Tenya: Do people actually take the time out of their say to draw lewd chipmunk art???

sparky: [whichchipettegettingthebestdick.png]

Iida Tenya: I

Iida Tenya: Ok

gravity falls: it’s definitely theodore

pepe: maybe it’s simon

Shoucchan: No

Shoucchan: It’s alvin

explodomurderking: you guys are all fucking stupid

explodomurderking: it’s clearly fucking alvin

sparky: ANOTHER ALVINIST

explodomurderking: shut the fuck up

octoman: I dunno guys I think it’s simon

birb: it is theodore

octoman: :/

birb: :/

bear: it’s theodore

cat whisperer: i think it’s simon????

useless lesbian: YOU GUYS ARE USELESS

sparky: ironic

useless lesbian: shut up

useless lesbian: momo and I both say it’s theodore

sparky: EVERYBODY HAS VOTED

sparky: it now comes down on midoriya

izukuwu: aaaaaaaa

izukuwu: ummmm

izukuwu: -////-

izukuwu: its alvin????

sparky: HE HAS SPOKEN

sparky: ALVINISTS WIN

ojiro: WHY is this class like this

02:12

why so sero-ous: did anyone do the math hw

birb: It is 2AM

why so sero-ous: it’s 2am and I need the math hw

Shoucchan: Stop being lazy and do it yourself

Shoucchan: How else will you learn the content

why so sero-ous: cannot believe todoroki just called me a dumbass

why so sero-ous: i’m going to hide in my room forever

Shoucchan: Have fun

broccoli man & Daddy Issues

broccoli man: why aren’t u asleep!!!!!!!!!????????

Daddy Issues: I could ask you the same thing

broccoli man: >:\ i asked u first!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Daddy Issues: Contradiction

broccoli man: todo.

Daddy Issues: Midoriya.

broccoli man: aaaaaah

broccoli man: just

broccoli man: couldn’t sleep

broccoli man: training camp still has me a little shaken

Daddy Issues: Same dream?

broccoli man: yeah……

Daddy Issues: Do you

Daddy Issues: Want to

broccoli man: come to your room?

Daddy Issues: Yeah

broccoli man: i’d love to!!!!!!

Daddy Issues: Ok

Daddy Issues: See you soon

broccoli man: see u!!!!!

07:48

detective pikachu & E.T.

detective pikachu: MINA

E.T.: wha

detective pikachu: what the fuck

detective pikachu: is THIS

detective pikachu: [iidaandaoyamakissingWHAT.png]

E.T.: what

E.T.: oh

E.T.: OH

 


 

“Hey, Todo…”

“Yes, Midoriya?”

“You know you can call me nicknames too, right? Like… Like Mido, ‘nd stuff like that? O-only if you’re comfortable, though!”

“Uh. Maybe I will.”

“E-even Izu is okay, i-if you want…”

“…”

“Oh GOD I’m sorry, that must sound so personal, you don’t have to if you want! I’m sorry!”

“It’s. It’s okay, I-Iz- uh, Mido.”

“…Oh my gosh, you are so cute.”

“I am?”

“AH that slipped out! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfort-”

“Izuku.”

“WHAT. U-Um. Sorry. Yes?”

“I-I don’t need you to tiptoe around me. You are treating me like a child. I appreciate that you are trying to respect my boundaries but… if I don’t like something, I’ll just tell you. There is no need to apologize for everything right after you do it.”

“I-I never thought of it that way, I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay, just don’t do it again. It’s time to sleep now, yeah?”

“Y-yeah. G’night, Shou.”

“Goodnight, Izu.”

"..."

“…The compliments are nice.”

“[giggle] Noted.”

Chapter Text

12:00

class 2-GAY

acid trip: happy birthday

acid trip: to a very special boy

knuckles: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAKUBRO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BRO NO HOMO!!!!! unless u want it to be haha

knuckles: jk

knuckles: unless…

sparky: LOL

sparky: BAKUGOU’S BIRTHDAY IS ON WEED DAY

explodomurderking: DIE

why so sero-ous: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY MAN

explodomurderking: i will murder you all

izukuwu: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KACCHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

explodomurderking: no

izukuwu: nice!

Iida Tenya: Happy birthday, Bakugou. You are quite the entertaining person and I am glad that I am able to say that we are on good terms!

explodomurderking: i

explodomurderking: i wanna say something mean to that but it’ll make me feel bad

explodomurderking: thanks??? I guess????

Iida Tenya: :D

gravity falls: happy birthday bakugou

gravity falls: your personality is still trash but god ur hot

explodomurderking: fuck you too

Icythot: Happy birthday I guess

explodomurderking: wow

izukuwu: WAIT I didn’t know we were writing essays for kacchan!!!

explodomurderking: WE’RE NOT

explodomurderking: someone stop him right now

explodomurderking: oh my god

explodomurderking: DEKU

broccoli man & bakugay

broccoli man: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KACCHAN!!! i know we’re not close anymore but I’d like to think that we’re approaching the territory where I could consider you an acquaintance or maybe even a friend!!! you’re so smart and talented and your quirk is so powerful and aaaaaaaaaaaah i’m glad that we’re on better terms, like iida said! you’re always bettering yourself and looking for ways to improve yourself and I admire you for that!!!!!! i know you’re gonna say something like “i don’t like my birthday” but I think you’ll enjoy this birthday, and I sincerely hope that u do :3

bakugay: i

bakugay:

bakugay: thanks

bakugay: you’re not too bad I guess

broccoli man: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

bakugay: i take it back

broccoli man: no takebacks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bakugay: are you a child

broccoli man: yes

15:29

bakugou’s bad bitch birthday bash

mina: WHERE ARE WE ON THE CAKE

sato: working on it rn, it should be done by the time 6 rolls around

mina: GOOD

mina: DECORATIONS???

kaminari: sero and I got it covered

mina: GOOD

mina: PLATES, NAPKINS, SNACKS, FOOD????

ocha: tsuyu and I got it, using a very

ocha: detailed

ocha: list of foods that bakugou likes made by deku

mina: NICE

mina: KIRI WYD

eijirou: keeping bakubro occupied till 6!

mina: GOOD

mina: IIDA?

Iida Tenya: Aizawa-sensei told me that our curfew for today is 11:45!

mina: FUCK YEAH

mina: 5 HOURS OF STRAIGHT UP PARTYING

mina: EVERYBODY GOT HIM GIFTS?

Todoroki: Midoriya and I are at the mall and are currently buying him the gifts that everybody had in mind for him

mina: WHAT THE FUCK

mina: Y’ALL MADE TODOROKI PAY FOR YOUR GIFTS???

midoriya: no no no!!!!!!! they all gave us the money that each gift costed

Todoroki: Not like I needed the money, but I understand why

mina: okay

mina: good

Todoroki: @kaminari

Todoroki: I am not buying this for him.

kaminari: WHY

Todoroki: While I would love to see his reaction to it, I am not going to buy Bakugou a 15-inch All Might dildo

midoriya: OH MY GOD

mina: LOL

ojiro: jesus fucking Christ

tokoyami: Wow

shouji: kaminari…

kaminari: WHY NOT

kaminari: at least buy him the fleshlight

Todoroki: No

Todoroki: DM me a different gift idea

kaminari: FUCK

kaminari: fine I guess

bakugay & broccoli man

bakugay: you think I don’t know what you guys are doing?

bakugay: think I’m stupid or somethin?

broccoli man: huh?

bakugay: kiri has been steering me in 30 different direction for the past two hours

bakugay: nobody’s answering their phones

broccoli man: i have no idea what you’re talking about

bakugay: deku…

broccoli man: :)

bakugay: tch

17:30

class 2-GAY

acid trip: everybody

acid trip: what is ur favorite bakugou story

acid trip: go

sparky: there was this one time

sparky: that I walked in on him taking a shit

sparky: and we just stared at each other for like 30 seconds before I turned around and left and he just started laughing SO HARD

why so sero-ous: oh shit you told us about that

why so sero-ous: lemme find the ss

sparky: ss uck these fuckin balls

why so sero-ous: I’m literally never going to speak to you again

why so sero-ous: [okand.png]

 


 

Picture type: screenshot

Dated: 7 months ago

dank-i: yo

dank-i: I just walked in on bakugou taking a shit wtf

shut the fuck up: ok

shut the fuck up: and

shut the fuck up: mind your fucking business

 


 

knuckles: good times

invisabitch: when he helped me pretend to be a ghost to scare the fuck out of kaminari

invisabitch: that was fun

sparky: PLEASE choke on a cock

invisabitch: that’s ur job tho…

sparky: WOW

sparky: are u slut shaming me???? is this slut-shaming???

sparky: u mad that I get dick and u don’t??? is that it??????

acid trip: i

invisabitch: DON’T COME AT ME WHEN U CRIED BC U THOUGHT A GHOST WAS GONNA KILL YOU

sparky: BITCHC

why so sero-ous: e-beef e-beef

useless lesbian: anyways

useless lesbian: probably when he helped me ask out yaoyorozu

useless lesbian: i cannot believe that out of this entire class, bakugou is the only one with common sense when it comes to romance

explodomurderking: excuse me for having taste

izukuwu: i have the perfect story for this :3c

explodomurderking: deku

explodomurderking: deku I swear to god if you’re gonna say what I think you’re gonna say

izukuwu: we were 5 years old

explodomurderking: FUCK

explodomurderking: FUCL

explodomurderking: SHUT UP RIGHT NOW SHUT UP

explodomurderking: I’LL KILL YOU

explodomurderking: !mute @izukuwu SHUT THE FUCK UP

acid trip: LET THE MAN TELL HIS STORY

izukuwu: as I was saying

izukuwu: so we were five

izukuwu: and kacchan was like “let me try something”

explodomurderking: DEKU

izukuwu: so i said “okay”

izukuwu: and he goes “can I lick your buttcheek”

acid trip: HWAT

sparky: OH YMG DO

why so sero-ous: bakugou kinda freaky….

izukuwu: i didn’t see anything wrong with it

izukuwu: so I was like “okay”

izukuwu: an d he did it

izukuwu: and it was weird

acid trip: GHUGIHAUUGU

izukuwu: WAIT I’m not done

explodomurderking: i will tear you apart in your sleep

izukuwu: so THEN he goes

izukuwu: “your turn”

acid trip: IUGEUIGHOAWHGOEHGUEHGUEG

izukuwu: i was too scared to do it

izukuwu: “kacchan why would I do it”

izukuwu: “why WOULDN’T you, pu**y”

acid trip: YOU CENSORED PUSSY

acid trip: YOU’RE ADORABLE

izukuwu: OIAGHOAUOUO SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

izukuwu: so I took a bunch of toilet paper and dipped it in the toilet

izukuwu: and I swiped it across his butt

izukuwu: and he said “i know you didn’t really do it”

izukuwu: i started crying and he set my hair on fire

why so sero-ous: wow

why so sero-ous: truly poetic

acid trip: HOW DO I REACT TO THIS INFORMATION

explodomurderking: oh my god I was FIVE

explodomurderking: FUCKING FIVE YEARS OLD

explodomurderking: LET IT GO

18:03

bakugou’s bad bitch birthday bash

eijirou: WE’RE ON OUR WAY UP GET IN PLACES

mina: OH MY GOD EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP

19:14

knuckles: [bakubirthday.mp4]

 


 

“Where the fuck are we going? These aren’t the student dorms, wha-”

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAKUGOU!”

“JESUS MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST.”

 


 

 

19:45

class 2-GAY

pepe: kaminari: “hey mina nice tits”

pepe: mina: “ok”

sparky: shot down :/

ojiro: YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP

sparky: AND

knuckles: i’m gay but

knuckles: mina does have some nice honkers

acid trip: HELL YEAH

12:30

explodomurderking: @here

explodomurderking: thanks or whatever

explodomurderking: for the gifts and party and shit

explodomurderking: it was nice

knuckles: we hope you had a happy birthday bakugou!!!!

explodomurderking: yeah

explodomurderking: i did

explodomurderking: <3

explodomurderking: ^ literally never sending that again

acid trip: OH MY GD

sparky: WE LOVE YOU TOO BAKUBABE AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

explodomurderking: die

Chapter Text

16:48

detective pikachu & E.T.

E.T.: so we just never gonna talk about iida and aoyama huh

detective pikachu: it’s so weird to think about

detective pikachu: of all possibilities I never would have considered this happening

E.T.: me neither

E.T.: are you gonna do anything about it?

detective pikachu: i’ll ask him about it ig

detective pikachu: in private tho

detective pikachu: bc I’m respectful B)

E.T.: no you’re not

detective pikachu: SHUT UP

detective pikachu & Iida Tenya

detective pikachu: yo

detective pikachu: iida

detective pikachu: brodie

Iida Tenya: Yes, Kaminari?

detective pikachu: are u dating aoyama

Iida Tenya & i cannot stop twinkling

Iida Tenya: [screenshot.jpg]

Iida Tenya: ?????

i cannot stop twinkling: i did not say anthing

I cannot stop twinkling: i would never out you mon cheri

Iida Tenya: Yes, I know.

Iida Tenya: I’m just confused

I cannot stop twinkling: ask him why he thinks that

Iida Tenya & detective pikachu

Iida Tenya: Why would you think that?

detective pikachu: [iidaandaoyamakissingWHAT.png]

Iida Tenya: Oh

Iida Tenya: When was this?

detective pikachu: a little over a month ago

Iida Tenya: Does anyone else know?

detective pikachu: mina does

detective pikachu: but she won’t say anything

Iida Tenya: Okay

Iida Tenya: Yes, I am in a relationship with Aoyama.

detective pikachu: dope

detective pikachu: you guys are cute

Iida Tenya: Kaminari, you cannot show anybody else that photo

detective pikachu: yeah ofc

detective pikachu: mind if I ask why?

Iida Tenya: No.

Iida Tenya: I’m not ready to come out yet.

Iida Tenya: I’m aware that the majority of our class will be accepting, but it’s too nerve racking to think about right now

detective pikachu: i got u chief!!! u don’t gotta worry ab anything

detective pikachu: ;)

Iida Tenya: That is suggestive.

Iida Tenya: But thank you, Kaminari.

detective pikachu: ofc

detective pikachu: what are friends for

Iida Tenya & i cannot stop twinkling

Iida Tenya: [screenshot1.png], [screenshot2.png]

i cannot stop twinkling: i trust kaminari

i cannot stop twinkling: he seems genuine

Iida Tenya: He is.

Iida Tenya: Yuuga…

i cannot stop twinkling: yes, mon beau?

Iida Tenya: Does it not bother you that we are not public?

i cannot stop twinkling: of course not

i cannot stop twinkling: i am comfortable with what you are comfortable with

i cannot stop twinkling: if you do not want to come out just yet then I am fine with being private until you do

Iida Tenya: Thank you.

i cannot stop twinkling: of course <3

Iida Tenya: <3

class 2-GAY

sparky: what the fuck is up dudes

sparky: why is this chat so dead

useful bisexual: Because we are being productive

sparky: big titty bitch is bullying me

useful bisexual: i am not bullying, I’m just speaking facts

useless lesbian: don’t bully my girlfriend

sparky: I’M NOT THE ONE BEING A BULLY

useful bisexual: why are you bulling me kaminari

sparky: OH MY GOD

gucci eyebags & furry tail man

gucci eyebags: babe

gucci eyebags: your girlfriend’s hot

furry tail man: yes I know

gucci eyebags: she’s my girlfriend now, too

furry tail man: oh

furry tail man: really?

gucci eyebags: yeah

gucci eyebags: she’s really flustered

gucci eyebags: we’re making out

furry tail man: shin, I’m trying to train

gucci eyebags: on your bed

furry tail man: huh?

gucci eyebags: we’re making out

gucci eyebags: on your bed

furry tail man:

furry tail man: i hate you

gucci eyebags: you’re still on your way here, though

furry tail man: exactly

gucci eyebags: heh

class 2-GAY

acid trip: y’all know ab how they make fanfics ab heroes?

knuckles: yeah

acid trip: i just found a 200k slowburn endeavor x all might fic

acid trip: tags: daddy kink, public sex, fluff, breathplay, rimming, switch endeavor, switch all might, anal fingering, anal sex, quirk play, spanking, hate sex

Icythot left class 2-GAY

acid trip: LOL

acid trip added Icythot to class 2-GAY

why so sero-ous: where’s the link

Icythot: Sero

Icythot: Shut the fuck up

Icythot: Do not send the link

acid trip: https://archiveofourown.org/works/*********?view_full_work=true

Icythot: For fucks sake

gravity falls: you missed the best tags

gravity falls: “submissive endeavor, dominant all might, endeavor in a schoolgirl uniform”

Icythot: I want to die

acid trip: is ur dad a sub

Icythot: I’m never speaking to any of you ever again

ojiro: i found an eraserhead/all might fic once

ojiro: kinda surreal considering only hard hero fanboys know who eraserhead is

explodomurderking: @izukuwu

explodomurderking: you write that shit?

izukuwu: WHAT

izukuwu: NONONO

izukuwu: ALL MIGHT IS LIKE MY DAD

Icythot: Hm.

izukuwu: shouto.

Icythot: I didn’t say anything

Daddy Issues & broccoli man

Daddy Issues: Technically, he is gonna be your dad soon

broccoli man: oh my godddddddd

bakugay & hard

bakugay: do u think

bakugay: nvm

hard: wha

hard: no come back

hard: what do I think

bakugay: do you think that deku and icyhot are together

hard: what makes you say that

bakugay: they’re always makin heart eyes at each other

bakugay: and deku called him by his first name

hard: they could just be very close

bakugay: in more ways than one

bakugay: whatever

bakugay: nevermind then

hard: wait wait wait

hard: do you like todoroki?

bakugay: what

bakugay: no

bakugay: the fuck

hard: sorry sorry

hard: do you like midoriya, then?

bakugay: shut the fuck up

bakugay: no I don’t

hard: bakugou

bakugay: what

bakugay: don’t fuckin patronize me

hard: you’re lashing out

bakugay: because you’re being a fuckin idiot

hard: bakugou

hard: look at what you are saying

hard: and then tell me that I’m being an idiot again

bakugay:

bakugay: fuck you

bakugay: you’re right

bakugay: sorry

hard: it’s okay

hard: now let’s go back

hard: I won’t push you to say anything you’re uncomfortable with saying

hard: so don’t answer me if you don’t want to

hard: but do you have feelings for midoriya?

bakugay: tch

bakugay: what if I fucking did

hard: then you have feelings for him

hard: it’s nothing huge

hard: you just have a crush

bakugay: “a crush”

bakugay: sure

hard: what’s that supposed to mean

hard: bakugou?

hard: okay text me when you wanna talk again

hard: my messages are always open

bakugay: i fucking know

hard: alright

hard: goodnight bro

bakugay: whatever

bakugay: goodnight

Chapter Text

12:13

Pros

louis vuitton eyebags: mic

louis vuitton eyebags: the fuck are u doing with my kids

LOUD: WE’RE SINGING

louis vuitton eyebags: it just sounds like high pitched shrieking

LOUD: DON’T KILL THE VIBE

rated r: let them vibe shouta :/

Captain Japan: Vibe check

Captain Japan: You failed the vibe check

louis vuitton eyebags: i hate my life

rated r: IHUGHUEGHOUER

rated r: toshinori I love u

Captain Japan: You are not so bad yourself, Ms Midnight :-)

louis vuitton eyebags: toshi who taught u modern language

Captain Japan: Who else?

Captain Japan: My children

Enji Todoroki: Is this what is taught at UA nowadays? And I thought it was a respectable school.

Rat: It is still respectable, Enji. Don’t forget where you came from.

LOUD: AND I OOP

rated r: dead meme

toll: what do u know about memes grandma

louis vuitton eyebags: lmfao

chiken wangz: LOL

rated r: BITCH

louis vuitton eyebags changed rated r’s nickname to grandma

grandma: i am going to murder you

LOUD: THAT’S NOT VERY HERO-LIKE, NEMURI

rabid: chat’s so active

MILF: That’s the tea

MILF: Sksksksksks and that’s on periodt :nail_emoji:

louis vuitton eyebags: no

MILF: I am one with the teenagers

louis vuitton eyebags: you’re 31

MILF: Not on the inside

y’know, like… nya: pixie bob please

MILF: What

MILF: I am 18 on the inside

chiken wangz: LOL

chiken wangz: i too am 18 on the inside

Enji Todoroki: You’re 5 on the inside.

chiken wangz: u know me so well endeavor-sama :blushing:

Enji Todoroki: Bye

louis vuitton eyebags: i’m gonna jump off a bridge

louis vuitton eyebags: stop tposing with my kids @LOUD

LOUD: DO NOT JUMP OFF A BRIDGE

LOUD: WHO WILL TOP ME THEN

LOUD: LOL I DID NOT MEAN TO SEND THAT TO THE CHAT

Best Jeanist: Never would have taken Eraserhead for a top.

chiken wangz: JEANIST

chiken wangz: MY MAN

Best Jeanist: Who is that?

Best Jeanist: Oh. Hawks.

Best Jeanist: Hello.

rabid: have u been here this entire time

Best Jeanist: Me?

rabid: yes

Best Jeanist: Yes, I have.

rabid: and for the entirety of this chat’s 4-year lifespan, you have not spoken once

Best Jeanist: Yes.

rabid: understandable

jokester: is wash in here

Wash: Wash.

jokester: keep doing what you’re doin man

Wash: Wash.

4:46

chiken wangz: so we just gonna ignore jeanist calling aizawa a gigantic bottom

grandma: yes

class 2-GAY

sparky: i’m watching sharkboy and lavagirl again for the first time in years

sparky: and WOW the cgi is so bad

sparky: it literally sucks how did I enjoy this when I was a child

sparky: WAIT

sparky: GALAXY BRAIN ACTIVATED

sparky changed acid trip’s nickname to lava girl

sparky changed knuckles’s nickname to sharkboy

sparky: no hetero tho

sugar daddy: weren’t they siblings

sparky: what

lava girl: NO????

sugar daddy: oh

sugar daddy: oops?

invisabitch: kami why are you even watching that??? isn’t it an american movie???

invisabitch: and on top of that, it’s sooooooo old

sparky: subtitles exist!!! plus I kinda understand what they’re saying in english

lava girl: you know what other old disney live action movie has shit CGI

sparky: SPY KIDS

lava girl: SPY KIDS

sparky: it made the movie so hard to watch

explodomurderking: the fuck are you losers going on about

sparky: sharkboy and lava girl

explodomurderking: the fuck is that

sparky: no culture :/

explodomurderking: i have no culture because i didn’t watch shitty american movies that came out in like 2003 yes

sparky: exactly!!!!!!!

explodomurderking: ok

explodomurderking: choke

sharkboy: be nicer

explodomurderking: choke

explodomurderking: please

sharkboy: acceptable

20:00

invisabitch: is that

invisabitch: is that loona

invisabitch: whos playing it

invisabitch: NO DON’T STOP PLAYING IT

explodomurderking: kpop sucks

birb: you suck

explodomurderking: wtf

octoman: fumi gets very protective of loona

birb: stan loona for clear skin

invisabitch: facts

invisabitch: stan loona!

izukuwu: you like kpop tokoyami?

sparky: yeah fr I would’ve expected you to be the “my chemical romance” kinda guy

birb: how stereotypical of you

birb: this darkness looms inside of my heart and loona is the only thing that alleviates the pain

octoman: what about lavender baths

birb: those too

16:59

sparky: MIDORIYA

sparky: MIDO MIDO MIDO

sparky: @izukuwu

izukuwu: yes?

sparky: you’re twitter famous

izukuwu: what

sparky: yeah some girl saw u walkin down the street and recognized you

sparky: and u were working out or some shit

sparky: so now everybody thinks you’re hot

izukuwu: uh

sparky: [link]

sparky: that’s the thread

lava girl: “if I ever meet him im giving him the sloppy toppy”

izukuwu: ?????????????????????????

izukuwu: I

sharkboy: if he’s 16 I’m 16

izukuwu: that’s kinda gross

invisabitch: “Can he choke me out”

izukuwu: no!!!!!!!!!!!!

izukuwu: please oh god

izukuwu: stop

izukuwu: i

Shoucchan: “I want him to shove his big meaty cock so far down my throat that I feel it in my small intestine”

izukuwu: I am 16!!!!!!!!!!!!!

izukuwu: 16!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

izukuwu: what is wrong with people!!!!!!!!!!!

explodomurderking: big meaty cock

explodomurderking: that made me laugh

sparky: wish I was there to see that babe <3

explodomurderking: die

22:34

lava girl: let’s talk about kinks

pepe: no

lava girl: WHY

pepe: because you’re gonna bring up the piss kink

lava girl: are you censoring my piss?

gravity falls: march for piss

pepe: ochako

gravity falls: :*

sparky: #freethepiss

lava girl: may is piss kink awareness month spread the word

lava girl: pisscists not allowed! U will be jailed and fined

sparky: death to anti piss

lava girl: the anti fandom is so toxic :/ like damb let us enjoy our piss in peace!

explodomurderking: im anti piss

explodomurderking: shut the fuck up

birb: antipiss DNI

lava girl: LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

lava girl: ANTIPISS DO NOT INTERACT

ojiro: pap

ojiro: piss attracted person

octoman: born to piss forced to wipe

lava girl: STOP KJHREIUHU

lava girl: I CANT HANDLE THIS

gravity falls: piss dating

gravity falls: an app to connect people that share a love for piss

sparky: where can I download that :heart_eyes:

cat whisperer: that reminds me of the clown dating site????

lava girl: WHAT

cat whisperer: [link]

izukuwu: the place to meet singles with a sense of humor

shark boy: sign me up

sparky: hello beautiful :heart_eyes: if I were to hyporthetically ask to take you to the yuuei culture festival event with me, would you say yes or no? im just curious haha. I don’t have much contact with the girls in real life. only hypothetically LOL haha I would never actually ask u… unless.. u would say yes?? haha jokes… please answer im really nervous right now ive never maintained a conversation with a girl for this long before. umm… it might be really awkward but uhhhh… i have an erection right now. is that ok with u? hahaa yeah im really hard. you wouldn’t even notice though because I have a tiny cock… I cant stop thinking about your sexy body… would u wanna go on an e date some time? we can watch netflix at the same time or maybe you could join my spotify listening. if things escalate we can masturbate on call haha I have done it before its not that bad I promise. people say its weird but I e date all the time, there’s nothing wrong with it I swear

explodomurderking: did you type all of that out right now

sparky: yes

explodomurderking: what the fuck is wrong with you

sparky: a lot

explodomurderking: clearly

sparky: just because I can shit on myself doesn’t mean u can shit on me too :/

explodomurderking: im gonna shit on you anyways

sparky: shit into my mouth daddy?

explodomurderking: i hope you die in a fire

sparky: i love it when u degrade me papichulo

explodomurderking: what language is that

explodomurderking: fuckin french?

sparky: no u fucking idiot

sparky: it’s obviously dutch

Iida Tenya: This hurts me. Watching you guys text hurts me.

sparky: wat language is it doe

Iida Tenya: Spanish.

Iida Tenya: It’s Spanish.

sparky: OH

sparky: love it when u call me senorita

useful bisexual: the term “senorita actually refers to a young, promiscuous, virgin girl

useful bisexual: in the sense that camila cabello sings it, it’s somewhat degrading

sparky: ok but did I ask

useful bisexual: okay :(

sparky: NO COME BACK

sparky: I WAS JOKING

sparky: I LOVE U!!!!!!!!!1

useful bisexual: :)

useless lesbian: i sensed my upset girlfriend and came as fast as I could

sparky: fuck

useless lesbian: kaminari

useless lesbian: u idiot

useless lesbian: u useless bisexual

useless lesbian: never speak to me or my girlfriend ever again

sparky: but big titty bestfriend

useless lesbian: is that it

sparky: what

useless lesbian: are u tittyphobic

sparky: WHAT

useless lesbian: im sorry I have a cups

useless lesbian: its not my fault

sparky: IM NOT TITTYPHOBIC

sparky: I LOVE ALL TITTIES

sparky: A CUPS D CUPS, MAN BOOBS

sparky: (specifically kacchan’s)

explodomurderking: choke

explodomurderking: i don’t have man tits

sharkboy: bro…

sharkboy: u kinda do

explodomurderking: i do not

Iida Tenya: You should not be ashamed! You have admirable pectorals

gravity falls: they’re admirable all right

pepe: my girlfriend loves bakugou’s tits more than mine

gravity falls: never that

useful bisexual: from a purely analytical standpoint

useful bisexual: you do have impressive pectorals, bakugou

explodomurderking: im gonna jump off a cliff

lava girl: how will I be able to stare at ur tits then

explodomurderking: DIE

izukuwu: kacchan could fit into a b cup

izukuwu: maybe a c

explodomurderking: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW THAT

Chapter Text

10:35

bakusquad

detective pikachu: guys

detective pikachu: i got the good good

detective pikachu: my room?

goth gf: fuck yeah

bakugay: it’s 10:40 you fucking idiots

hard: we’ll get you that spicy ass onigiri u like

bakugay: terrible bribe

bakugay: i’ll still be there

bakugay: just to make sure you idiots don’t actually kill youselves

E.T.: aw

E.T.: you care ab us

bakugay: fuck that

detective pikachu: we love u too

bakugay: yeah whatever

detective pikachu: when was the last time u smoked

bakugay: idk

bakugay: probably like

bakugay: a month ago

detective pikachu: and ur tellin me

detective pikachu: that ur strung up ass

detective pikachu: hasn’t been itching to smoke

bakugay: fuck you I’m not dependant on that shit

E.T.: OK

E.T.: GUYS

E.T.: kami when can we come

detective pikachu: rn actually

detective pikachu: sero and ei are already here

detective pikachu: sero’s smacked already

bondage: I’ m not

bakugay: whatever

bakugay: earbuds and i are on our way

E.T.: me too!!

00:45

class 2-GAY

lava girl: [babies.png]

lava girl: besties

gravity falls: that’s so adorable!!

pepe: bakugou looks so relaxed

explodomurderking: u think I cant hcill u bitch

explodomurderking: i'm chilling

explodomurderking: [fuckyoubitch.png]

gravity falls: THAT’S EVEN CUTER

explodomurderking: yeah I’m fcking adorable

explodomurderking: i know

sparky: eiji’s so soft when he sleeps ahhhh

sparky: i'm setting that pic as my lockscreen

explodomurderking: fuck u’

1:29

why so sero-ous: kami fucking sucks at mario kart

sparky: I DON’T

sparky: mina’s just a god at it

lava girl: yeah I am

lava girl: but u still suck

useless bisexual: is kyouka with you

lava girl: yeah she’s just laying on kami’s bean bag

lava girl: [she.png]

useful bisexual: i'm having heart palpitations

goth gf & big tiddy gf

goth gf: baby

goth gf: come here

goth gf: want you

big tiddy gf: i’m in bed already

big tiddy gf: I’m sorry, love

goth gf: cmon I want u

goth gf: wanna cuddle

big tiddy gf: I can’t :(

goth gf: please?

goth gf: wanna sleep with u

goth gf: ur so warm

big tiddy gf: jkhfusiehiug kyouka please

big tiddy gf: my poor heart cant handle this

goth gf: please babe :(

big tiddy gf: the effect you have on me should be illegal

big tiddy gf: I’m not going to smoke marijuana

goth gf: LOL

goth gf: we ran out of bud anyways

big tiddy gf: I’m taking you back to my room

goth gf: woah

goth gf: at least take me to dinner first

big tiddy gf: U KNOW WHAT I MEAN >:(

hard & bakugay

hard: are u ok?

bakugay: we’re in the same room

hard: i mean yeah but everybody else is asleep

bakugay: ok

bakugay: im fine

bakugay: why wouldn’t i

hard: u just seem sad

hard: bad high?

bakugay: not bad

bakugay: just

bakugay: emotional I guess

bakugay: man fuck emotions

hard: right ????

hard: u good? want me to get u anything?

bakugay: nah u got pikachu sleeping on u

bakugay: don’t wanna get him up

hard: aw u do care :’)

bakugay: fuck no

bakugay: he’s just always tired and it annoys me when he complains

bakugay: let him stay or whatever

bakugay: don’t want him to whine tomorrow

hard: u can come here

bakugay: what

hard: i mean

hard: denks wont mind if u cuddle with us

bakugay: he’s awake?

hard: ya

bakugay: he didn’t have to wave

bakugay: whatever

bakugay: wont that cuddling shit be like

bakugay: weird

hard: we were literally cuddling earlier

bakugay: but this time it’s gonna be with ur fuckn boyfriend

hard: naw man its chill

hard: no homo

hard: straight up bromo

bakugay: fine

bakugay: just stop being a cringy piece of shit

hard: ehehhe

broccoli man & Daddy Issues

broccoli man: can I come up

Daddy Issues: Yeah

Daddy Issues: Of course

Daddy Issues: Everything okay?

broccoli man: ye justa little

broccoli man: um

Daddy Issues: Touch starved?

broccoli man: yeah

Daddy Issues: Door’s open for you

broccoli man: thank u <3

Daddy Issues: Yeah <3

09:34

class 2-GAY

why so sero-ous: thank GOD it’s Saturday

why so sero-ous: only mina and I are up

why so sero-ous: jirou dipped I think

useful bisexual: i took her to my room

useful bisexual: she’s still asleep

why so sero-ous: cool cool

11:23

sparky: god I need to shit

ojiro: so go poop

sparky: ic ant

sparky: btu also I don’t want to shitmyself

sparky: hasn’t happened since like 3rd grade

ojiro: ok we’re gonna go back to that story soon

ojiro: why cant u go poop

sparky: because bakubabe and eiji r sleeping on me

sparky: and it’s too cute

gravity falls: pics or it didn’t happen

sparky: [babies.png]

izukuwu: oh

gravity falls: wow

gravity falls: they’re so soft

sparky: THEY ARE

sparky: bakugou’s hair is so soft?? Like he’ll probably kill me when he wakes up but WOW o could run my hands through it all day

ojiro: only time we’ll ever see him that quiet

lava girl: that’s my son

explodomurderking: do you guys ever shut up

explodomurderking: all these fucking texts buzzing

lava girl: it’s 12 u wouldn’t want to be up rn

explodomurderking: IT’S 12

explodomurderking: WHAT

lava girl: yeah

lava girl: 12 inches deep in ur mom

lava girl: ya no but really its 12

13:34

sparky: mistew pwesident put that pussy on the phone

lava girl: my pussy is on the phone what do I do now

sparky: queef

lava girl: WHAT

sparky: fart with ur vagina

lava girl: I don’t think I can do it

explodomurderking: useless woman

lava girl: shut up, man

lava girl: fuck kinda name is katsuki LOL

explodomurderking: shut up pinky

explodomurderking: fuck kinda name is mina

lava girl: it’s the name of the bitch that fucked ur mom LOL

explodomurderking: shut up

explodomurderking: my mom sucks anyways

lava girl: yeah she sucked this PUSSY

explodomurderking: CHOKE

lava girl: luv u :*

explodomurderking: I will explode u

Chapter Text

02:30

class 2-GAY

Shoucchan: Peter Parker a.k.a. Spiderman is roughly 17-18 years old

Shoucchan: Which means that he was born in either 2001 or 2002

Shoucchan: This means that he’s Gen Z

Shoucchan: So not only does he know what a furry is, but he has to grapple with the fact that his spider-centric identity is actually his fursona

izukuwu: shou

izukuwu: it’s 2am

izukuwu: we have school in 6 hours

Shoucchan: So

izukuwu: are you okay

Shoucchan: Sure

explodomurderking: go the fuck to sleep

Shoucchan: Aren’t you usually asleep by 9:45

Shoucchan: Why are you awake

explodomurderking: because you’re fucking annoying

Shoucchan: Ok

04:21

Shoucchan: I’m officially hallucinating

Shoucchan: The void has taken over and I have no sanity left

Shoucchan: The world has ripped what little sanity I have left to shreds

izukuwu: shouto please

izukuwu: sleep!!!!!!!!

Shoucchan: Funny coming from you

izukuwu: maybe so…

broccoli man & Daddy Issues

broccoli man: seriously

broccoli man: are you okay?

Daddy Issues: I don’t know

broccoli man: :(

broccoli man: did smth happen?

Daddy Issues: No I just

Daddy Issues: Don’t know

Daddy Issues: Started feeling bad for no reason

broccoli man: do u want me to bring u smth?

broccoli man: tea maybe?

Daddy Issues: No, I’m fine

Daddy Issues: Midoriya

Daddy Issues: It’s okay

broccoli man: too bad

Daddy Issues: What are you doing

broccoli man: making tea

broccoli man: i'm bringing a few snacks

Daddy Issues: We have school in 3 hours

broccoli man: crap

broccoli man: youre right

broccoli man: i’ll message aizawa sensei

broccoli man: i hope he’ll understand

broccoli man & fucking tired ass bitch

broccoli man: hi aizawa-sensei! i’m sorry to message you this late (and I hope this doesn’t wake you up if you’re asleep) but is it okay if todoroki and i miss a few classes in the morning? of course, if we’re covering important material, we’ll come

fucking tired ass bitch: we’re always covering important material

broccoli man: oh, okay!

fucking tired ass bitch: but I can recognize when a student or two needs a day off

fucking tired ass bitch: come in by noon

fucking tired ass bitch: it’s your responsibility to get the notes you miss

broccoli man: AAA

broccoli man: thank you so much sensei!!!!

broccoli man: i appreciate it so much!!!

fucking tired ass bitch: i just don’t want to see two of my students get kicked in the face while combat practice because they were too tired to pay attention

broccoli man: makes sense!

fucking tired ass bitch: it has to make sense, i’m your teacher

fucking tired ass bitch: also why do you guys need to sleep in

fucking tired ass bitch: is something wrong

broccoli man: todoroki’s just a little off his game

fucking tired ass bitch: okay

fucking tired ass bitch: also before I go to sleep

fucking tired ass bitch: stop breaking curfew so much

fucking tired ass bitch: you have your own room for a reason

broccoli man: i

fucking tired ass bitch: you’re not exactly stealthy about sneaking out

broccoli man: i’m sorry

fucking tired ass bitch: the dorms are meant for your safety

fucking tired ass bitch: i don’t need a teacher to freak out when they check your room and you’re not in it

fucking tired ass bitch: especially when that teacher is me

broccoli man: :( i didn’t mean to make anyone panic

fucking tired ass bitch: just

fucking tired ass bitch: let me know ahead of time or something

fucking tired ass bitch: if you’re staying in another dorm

broccoli man: okay!!!

fucking tired ass bitch: and no funny business

fucking tired ass bitch: i don’t have the energy to give you guys the sex talk

broccoli man: THAT IS UNNEEDED

fucking tired ass bitch: considering what I’ve walked in on before

fucking tired ass bitch: I’m not sure about that

broccoli man: please do not give us the talk

fucking tired ass bitch: ok

fucking tired ass bitch: mic will do it

broccoli man: NO

fucking tired ass bitch: goodnight problem child

broccoli man: sensei please

09:48

hard & bakugay

hard: bro

hard: u good?

hard: bro

bakugay: stop fucking texting me while we’re in class

hard: if u glare at todoroki’s chair any harder you’ll pierce a hole right through it

bakugay: fuck off

hard: seriously man are u good

hard: bro

hard: is this about midoriya not being in class

bakugay: why the fuck would it be about him

hard: okay

hard: nevermind then

17:00

class 2-GAY

pepe: has anyone seen my pineapple

ojiro: your what

pepe: my pineapple

gravity falls: the pineapple in the kitchen

gravity falls: was yours?

pepe: yes

gravity falls: i

gravity falls: baby

pepe: did you eat it

gravity falls: yes I’m sorry!!!!! I didn’t know it was yours

pepe: it’s okay dwbi

pepe: just buy me another one sometime soon

gravity falls: ofc

sparky: gay

gravity falls: first of all

gravity falls: we’ve had this conversation before

gravity falls: you are literally in a relationship with kirishima

sparky: what about it

shark boy: babe

shark boy: she’s kinda right

sparky: are u going against me

sparky: my own boyfriend

shark boy: babe….

sparky: no

sparky: I’m sorry but it’s over

ojiro: I still get the pokemon cards

sparky: my children

shark boy: baby please … is there anything I could do …

sparky: bro … I could really use a foot massage rn ….

shark boy: it’s done

sparky: okay I guess we’re back together!! just don’t try to suck my toes

shark boy: no promises

explodomurderking: nobody wants to fuckin know what u guys do in the bedroom

explodomurderking: who the fuck likes to suck on toes

sparky: don’t be jealous bakubabe

sparky: ei can suck YOUR toes if u want him to

explodomurderking: CHOKE

sparky: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

explodomurderking: you will die a slow and excruciating death and I will be the cause of it

sparky: if my cause of death is not dick I reject it

lava girl: LOL

Iida Tenya:

Iida Tenya: Kaminari.

sparky: sorry

sparky: if my cause of death is not cock* I reject it

Iida Tenya: KAMINARI.

invisabitch: kami is living his best life rn

19:54

girls’ night out

thottie with a body: some of the boys are gathered in the common room and asking god to get bakugou some acition

thottie with a body: like they’re in a circle and everything

thottie with a body: holding hands and shit

thottie with a body: there’s a candle in the middle

thottie with a body: is this a cult

john cena: mashi said that they do this every other Thursday

big titty bitch: do they pray for the same thing every time?

john cena: naw sometimes they pray for insignificant shit

john cena: there was this one time that they gathered to pay respects for kirishima’s dead goldfish

what that tongue do: that is not insignificant

small titty bitch: oh my god

small titty bitch: i’m joining

big titty bitch: KYOUKA

thottie with a body: honestly? I’m gonna join too

pussy so good it makes her feel like she’s floating: I WANNA JOIN

what that tongue do: ochako

what that tongue do: please change your name

thottie with a body: i feel like it could be a song lyric

big titty bitch: why is it so long?

pussy so good it makes her feel like she’s floating: i

pussy so good it makes her feel like she’s floating: i wanna make the joke but it’s momo

small titty bitch: it’s ok I’ll do it for you

small titty bitch: THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID

big titty bitch: bye