Work Header

Walking Disaster

Chapter Text

Most of the command had gotten use to Bladewave's antics. In less than an vorn her mask of professionalism had begun to slip, like a cybercrab coming out of its shell.  Her spunky attitude shone through as she started telling jokes and making snarky comments, Megatron didn't seem to care as she was always respectful toward him and he was already used to Starscream. Her more friendly nature came to life as she begun to call the other Commanders her "friends" though it wasn't openly reciprocated by anyone. When she she wasn't following Shockwave around or doing desk work, she was seen with the lower ranks being friendly and boosting morale. Lately she had taken to hanging out with Starscream whom she genuinely admired but didn't always agree with, Starscream to his credit wasn't unnecessarily cruel but was very skeptical to her offer of friendship though he came to enjoy having someone to complain to.

So despite being well known for her charm among the lower ranks and her good work ethic it was unsurprising that Bladewave had an overwhelming need please others. And what what better way to please someone then to make them laugh. And what better way to get someone laughing then to share whatever stupid idiotic thought the passes through your processor. The Decepticon command meeting was having a recess as Megatron called a pause to look over new changes in the battle plans before he gave his approval. Leaving the command room alone and without him, mech took a chance to relax or look over their work.

"If Overlord became the leader of the Decepticons…"

Starscream looked up from his data pad, Tarn turned his body toward Bladewave fixing her with a piercing gaze.

"It's a joke, it's a joke." She reassured, locking optics with Overlord himself as if asking for permission. He lifted brow, curious as to what she planned to say.

"If Overlord became the leader of the Decepticons," she continued, "we'd all have to call him Lord, right?"

She gave room for pause but didn't wait for a reply. "But the real question is do we call him Lord Over or Lord Overlord?"

Anyone who knew her well enough groaned knowing she was planning on going off into a weird and skrewy tangent.

"Let's say for argument's sake it's Lord Overlord," she said excitedly, "what if he stood atop of Lord Megatron's grave, not necessarily having killed him mind you…"

Tarn vented deeply and Overlord stared off at the wall. Several other mech started paying attention, humored or attentive to the weird tension that her comment was causing.

"… Then we would call him Lord Overlord over Lord." Anyone paying attention sighed, a few chuckled softly; everyone thinking her little joke was done.

"But if Overlord was leader of the Decepticons, we call him Lord of course, and someone else placed him on top of Megatron's grave, not necessarily having caused his death. He'd be Lord Overlord over laid over Lord."

Oh, no. It wasn't over. In fact, it had only just begun.

"And if he was all that and he were releasing some charge… ya know interfacing… overloading. He'd be having a Lord Overlord over laid over Lord overload."

"Are you implying that he'll be having sex with Lord Megatron's corpse?" Tarn interrupted, staring incredulous.

Overlord inhaled deeply, massaging his forehead, likely holding in his temper knowing that whatever Bladewave said when she was in her weird tangent was utter nonsense. He wouldn't let her provoke him. In fact he wouldn't say anything at all.

"What? No, I wasn't thinking that at all. But I like that you went there Tarn."

"That's not what I meant!" He sputtered, easily drawn into her game.

Megatron walked back into the room, half the room was amused or hiding laughter, the other half was annoyed or avoiding eye contact. Tarn loud and indignant, Overlord looked lost, and Starscream look highly entertained. Bladewave then.

"What's going on here?" He asked as he sat down at the head of the table, he didn't actually want to know but he was in strangely good mood and wouldn't mind indulging in the harmless antics of the spunky young femme.

"Tarn was just theorizing that… if he was the leader of the Decepticons Overlord would 'face your lifeless corpse." She answered cheerfully, being purposely vague as to imply that Tarn wanted to be leader and would make Overlord interface with Megatron's dead body.

Megatron's good mood evaporated.

Tarn was openly gapping, the room was shocked into silence.

“I wouldn't do that to you, Lord Megatron! I swear,” said Overlord suddenly, getting up from his chair, drawing everyone's attention. It was one thing to ignore when the crazy femme tried to provoke him, it was a whole nother thing to let himself be incriminated in front of Megatron! She probably wasn’t even doing it on purpose, think it was all in line with her ‘joke’.

“I don't know about that, Lord Overload.” Six Shot interjected ever so helpfully. “I've seen you do some weird stuff during your episodes of bloodlust.”

“Like you're one to talk! And don't call me that!” He said panicked, and not embarrassed at all; he’ll slag Six later. He looked into his leader’s optics, conveying as much calm sincerity as he could. “I don't want to be implicated in Bladewave’s scrap of nonsense. I hadn't said a word, it's all been Tarn and Bladewave.”

“I what? I wasn't- Bladewave! You-" It then clicked for Tarn how he had been implicated, and he stood up hands in tight fists. "I'll kill YOU!" He roared.

“Enough,” said Megatron firmly, knowing from Soundwaves’ character report of Bladwave’s usually harmless tendency toward emotional intimidation and humiliation, he gave Overlord a nod. Who then, relief Megatron had understood, sat down in once more. Tarn holding his tongue but he wanted to throttle the purple femme, he only stood frozen by order from his lord. The decepticon leader the turned to the young minibot, in his face a clear message: what do you have to say for yourself?  

“I all honesty, it's true. I'm telling the truth Lord Megatron. He said exactly that.” How else could she defend herself, she had a hard time telling a lie, everyone knew that. But stretching the truth a little to humiliate others, easy!

"You conniving little-” Tarn was shaking head to toe.

“I said enough,” Megatron growled. The two angry parties settled down, though they weren't really angry. Well, Tarn was angry alright, but Bladewave was entirely unaffected giving Megatron an innocent beaming face. Megatron sighed and restrained himself from rubbing the ridge of his nostril. It was straightforward, you could tell when she lied. “The worst part is... I know you're not lying.”

“She's taking it out of context! I didn't-”

He held his hand up, Tarn fell silent again.

“I know Tarn, I know.” How was this always keep happening? Was Bladewave that good or was Tarn always been this easy to bully? “You shouldn't let her provoke you like this. Show some restraint.”

“I'll try my Lord.” He calmed and sat down.

“And Bladewave, please stop provoking Tarn.” Addressing the real issue.

“I can't make any promises…” she muttered.

“Bladewave!” The grey mech chastised harshly. The femme jumped in her seat, she hadn’t meant to say that aloud.

“I mean, you could order me not to but, sometimes I do it on accident. I really can't help it.” She corrected, a little apologetic but honest. Tarn was so fun to mess with, sometimes she did it on automatic.

“Well, restrain yourself for the time being, let's get back to the meeting.” Megatron said, forcing the room to get serious, “I've been over I've been looking over the battlefield tactics presented by Overload-”

And pin-drop silence.

Did he just?

Everyone was screaming, more than half the room was laughing through tears, some fell off their chairs. Overlord was hunched over hiding his face, his shoulders were shaking; he could be crying or laughing or holding in his temper, it was unclear. For someone with a mask, Tarn’s expression was very clear. He looked betrayed by the universe. Beside Megatron, Starscream was gasping for air; he was laughing so hard he was no longer making any sound. The decepticon leader no longer resisted and pinched the space between his eyes. Wondering if his army was made up of sparklings, Megatron gritted his denta; he couldn’t even blame the femme, Bladewave had a real knack for getting in trouble and then avoiding punishment. He had just accidentally called Overlord... overload, this was by far one of the worst meetings he’d ever had. And Bladewave… honestly, Bladewave was surprised, in shock and wonder. Huh, that was easily better than any joke she’d ever told. Everyone was laughing… Best. Meeting. Ever!