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Take Me To Church

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My lover's got humour

She's the giggle at a funeral

Knows everybody's disapproval

I should've worshipped her sooner

If the Heavens ever did speak

She is the last true mouthpiece

Every Sunday's getting more bleak

A fresh poison each week

"We were born sick", you heard them say it

 

My church offers no absolutes

She tells me 'worship in the bedroom'

The only heaven I'll be sent to

Is when I'm alone with you

I was born sick, but I love it

Command me to be well

Amen, Amen, Amen

 

Take me to church

I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Good God, let me give you my life

 

If I'm a pagan of the good times

My lover's the sunlight

To keep the Goddess on my side

She demands a sacrifice

To drain the whole sea

Get something shiny

Something meaty for the main course

That's a fine looking high horse

What you got in the stable?

We've a lot of starving faithful

That looks tasty

That looks plenty

This is hungry work

 

No masters or kings when the ritual begins

There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin

In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene

Only then I am human

Only then I am clean

Amen, Amen, Amen.

- Hozier, Take Me To Church

 


Father Victor Nikiforov had devoted his life to God. He had grown up in religious surroundings, having been raised in a strictly Catholic orphanage in Russia and then spent this childhood and teenage years studying Catholic Theology. He had been happy to have the opportunity to help other people praise God and live the life in dedication to the Lord. He had taken over a church in a small village in Saint Petersburg over six months ago and he felt like he was settling in well with the locals. He had regular services such as Mass, ministry and Communions, as well as coffee mornings, support groups, playgroups, and many, many things that kept him busy. He’d even witnessed several weddings which was pretty exciting. It was everything he expected and he was enjoying his time here. It was peaceful and it was nice being away from the busy, loud bustle of the city. It was his first real placement as the head of the congregation and he was still finding his feet but he was happy.

He lived in a small cottage on the grounds of the small church where he worked with his poodle, Makkachin, who always had free reign of the beautiful grounds and had become a favourite of the locals when he walked him around the village. He lived a modest life. He enjoyed baking, reading, listening to music and tending to the church grounds.

Victor was mostly busy with everything that went on day to day, running a church was hard, and very much a lifestyle, not just a job. But once all the staff and volunteers had left, he had finished his paperwork (which he always avoided) and prepared everything for the next day, it was deathly quiet. And there was only one thing that Victor had not expected, and that was how lonely it would be. Yes, he had Makkachin, but the evenings were long and he found himself bored. Victor spent a lot of time baking in the evenings. He donated his breads and cakes to the local food bank and handed them out at coffee mornings. Despite being satisfied helping others, others never seemed to take too much of an interest in him outside of him being the local Catholic priest - but even this wasn't always welcome, Catholicism was not widely worshipped in Russia. He tried to fill the silence in his home with music. But still, that did not stop quieten the persistent hum of his thoughts. Maybe this wasn’t everything he had thought it would be? The more time he spent alone, the more he was left with his thoughts. He had doubts, he had uncertainties, and he watched couples come and go every day and wished that he could somehow experience what they had.

It wasn’t new to Victor, having thoughts like this. After all, he had been a teenager at some point, and he had most definitely consented to more than one impure thought. He had managed to keep it under wraps for the last several years and had not broken the promise that he had made to himself and God, but though Victor was a priest, he was also human, and therefore he sinned like all humans inevitably did.

Victor found himself talking to God a lot, asking for a companion, a friend. He met many people, talked to the church staff, assisted the locals… but there was no-one who really liked Victor, who sought him out as a friend or offered to keep him company in the drafty, dark church grounds at night. Victor prayed that he might have someone to talk to, someone to understand. More than anything, Father Nikiforov wanted a friend.

***

Katsuki Yuuri honestly didn’t know what he was doing here. His grandmother had been a strict Catholic and taken him to Italy every year on vacation to visit the Vatican before she died. In a way, he supposed that the church provided him with a sense of peace and comfort despite the fact that he wasn’t religious at all. So, he’d sought out the only Catholic church in the entirety of Saint Petersburg, preferably the familiarity of it compared to the large majority of Orthodox churches which dominated the streets.

His fingers trembled as he gripped the fabric of his jeans tighter under his sweaty palms. Anxiety gripped him, washing over his entire body until his heart was palpitating. He didn’t want to admit what he was really thinking about and what he wanted to confess.

Ever since he’d moved to Russia three weeks ago to pursue his dream of joining the Bolshoi ballet company, Yuuri had been plagued with enticing and heart-pounding dreams. They made him wake up in a pool of his own sweat, reaching for his glasses and struggling to push himself upright. There was no way he could talk to his family about the nature of his dreams and definitely none of his friends… Not when what he was dreaming of was definitely illegal.

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” Yuuri began in a quiet whisper as he made the sign of a cross, touching his forehead, his chest and then his shoulders. He wriggled on the uncomfortable wooden seat of the sealed confessional booth.

“How can I help you, my child?” Father Nikiforov’s asked. Not many people had come to confession this night, there were only a select few that used this service, which was normally older members of the congregation, but person whispering next to Victor sounded like a young male. His Russian was a little strained and it clearly wasn’t his first language. Because of this, unfortunately, Victor knew who was talking straight away. It made him feel nervous… He recognised that Japanese accented Russian, he had heard it a few times. His face flushed. There was one thing that Victor hadn’t been admitting to himself about regarding his loneliness... Victor’s current predicament had a source, and that source was the new Japanese boy who had just moved to the area too.

“I was tempted by impure thoughts and I may have consented to them,” Yuuri murmured, trying to talk as quietly as possible, but still hoping the Father could hear him clearly.

“How long since your last confession?” Victor asked the familiar question, and he sent up a quick prayer to have strength while guiding Yuuri. He was betrayed by the warm feeling of butterflies in his stomach.

“Too long,” Yuuri answered, barely able to remember the time in his own mind, let alone then having to translate the words to Russian. “I just don’t know who to turn to or what to do. I’ve always struggled with…” He couldn’t bring himself to say it. His fingers dug tighter into the denim of his jeans and he let out a shaky breath.

“I don’t believe that being… gay should be a sin, Father,” Yuuri finally managed to say. “I… I think I am… gay. I’ve been attracted to men. I’ve had dreams about one man in particular. I don’t think I’m a bad person, Father, but I’m lost.”

Victor himself had been to confession many times about these issues, and he had been given advice in the past, but when faced with this situation himself, someone else asking him for guidance, Victor found himself unable to keep a straight head. Was Yuuri having these feelings about him? He hated that his mind went there. It was wrong. So wrong. But he found that he wanted Yuuri to think that. If he was going to have these feelings, these thoughts, then he didn’t want to the young man thinking about anyone else. It made a dark feeling curl inside him and he gulped. He was feeling jealous and it alarmed him. Jealousy was an ugly and forbidden feeling and it should be avoided. Victor gripped his rosary like a lifeline as he fidgeted.

“My child, you sound like you have little remorse for these sins,” he replied, swallowing down the bitter feeling. “You are very lost,” he agreed. Victor felt bad because he didn’t have the answer for this sin because he felt the same.

“Have you… partaken in sins of the flesh?” He instantly regretted his words. He shouldn’t have asked. It wasn’t professional to ask for details, and Victor shouldn’t want to know. But he did. He wanted to know everything about how Yuuri was feeling. He wanted to know if he felt all the things that Victor did himself. He had never met another man who was having these types of feelings, and what were the chances that the one man he was found himself curious about was also experiencing this?

“I…” Yuuri began to reply and then shook his head. Even if he had, he shouldn’t really tell that to his priest, right? Not when Father Nikiforov was the object of his most carnal and sinful delights. It was every ounce of his strength to stop himself from bolting right now. He had to see this through. Either Father Nikiforov would set him straight and give him tips on how to overcome his demons or…

“No, Father,” Yuuri finally answered. “I’ve not… I’m a virgin.”

“You are pure?” The words were out before he could stop them and Victor’s hand was immediately over his mouth, cursing himself of the words he had let slip. Victor was more than surprised. Most people these days didn’t value such things. The thought that Yuuri was untouched made something inside him feel warm. It was familiar, this feeling, and the priest knew he was in trouble. This was slowly becoming dangerous.

“Y-yes,” Yuuri reiterated, a little hesitant to stay on the subject for too long. “I’ve always been told I should wait until marriage to… But, well, if I am gay, I guess marriage isn’t in the cards for me anyway.” He let out a bitter laugh and scrubbed a hand over his face. “I’m so confused, Father. Can you help me?”

Victor paused. He wasn’t sure what to say. He wasn’t sure what the right thing to do was. What he wanted to do, and what he needed to do were two very different things. The priest gulped and took a deep breath. He kissed his rosary and thought about the best way to reply. Thinking back over his own past experiences, both personal and professional, Victor thought about the advice he had been given regarding his thoughts about men. He thought about how miserable it had made him to realise that what he wanted was truly wrong. He didn’t want to tell Yuuri what he should: That he should repent and ask for forgiveness for this.

“My child, if you are unable to marry, I would hope God would guide you to find the right person instead,” he said carefully. Victor wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to say, but it was he had wanted to hear so many years ago when he was confused too. If he was honest, it was what he wanted to hear now.

The young Japanese boy’s head snapped up and he looked desperately through the partition that separated him from the priest on the other side. “W-what?” he questioned, his eyes darting from side to side as he tried to digest this new information. This hadn’t been what he expected at all. “Isn’t it a sin to want to be with a man? Shouldn’t you tell me to repent and do some Hail Marys or something?”

Victor sighed and took a deep breath, gathering his confidence. “How old are you, Yuuri?” he asked tentatively, letting the man know that he knew his identity. It felt dishonest otherwise. Something about this exchange felt different from a normal confession. This was all so different from the confessions he was used to hearing, the material, silly things that people were worried about.

The young man bristled. “N-nineteen,” he confessed so quiet he wasn’t sure the other man would even hear him, yet he didn’t dare speak louder or clarify it. He gulped as he waited for what Father Nikiforov would say.

“You are young,” Victor explained. “It would be a shame for you to waste your life living a lie. Lying is also a sin. If you are attracted to men then you have two choices, celibacy or accepting the sin and trying to be as good of a person as you can be despite how you feel inside.” He smiled as he thought about the boy, nineteen was very young… “I could tell you to repent, but I’m sure you already know that what you feel is wrong. Yet, that does not stop you from feeling it.” Victor knew because he had tried.

All of Yuuri’s thoughts were in disarray. He couldn’t quell the surge of desire and admiration he felt for the man on the other side of the barrier. How could a man be so worldly and moralistic, yet so understanding and compassionate at the same time? It only made Yuuri feel more lovelorn toward the unknowing and certainly unwilling priest. Yuuri’s entire face bloomed red.

“You’re a kind man, Father,” Yuuri finally replied, tears pricking sharp and painful in his eyes. “I  can only hope I can make you and the Lord proud.”

“Be blessed, my child,” Victor whispered, signalling the end of the confession and then he quickly left, before he could say anything else that he shouldn’t.

***

Victor trembled as he closed the door to his cottage. He leant against it and pulled off his collar, letting himself slide to the floor as he shook. That was a mistake. He should have never said such things to Yuuri who was young and impressionable. Victor had taken advantage of his position over Yuuri.

His feelings for Yuuri and his curiosity had gotten in the way of his duty. The thoughts he had were wrong, but he couldn’t stop them as they whizzed through his mind, Does Yuuri fantasize about doing sexual things with men? Would he ever do those kinds of things with me? Victor shook his head.

He crumpled to the floor. He was weak. So weak.

Victor clasped his hands together and prayed. He prayed for the strength to overcome these feelings, to resist the temptation that was whispering darkly at the back of his mind.

“Please, Lord, give me strength to overcome this sin. Help me to guide Yuuri in an appropriate, kind and respectful way that follows Your word, and to not let my personal demons get in the way,” Victor whispered, mumbling into his hands as he begged God for forgiveness and guidance. By the time he moved from the kitchen floor his legs had gone dead and Makkachin was giving him her paw, begging for her nightly walk. He stood on shaky legs and cast another look upwards, crossed himself and then sighed.

***

Cool, slender fingers brushed against Yuuri’s face and trailed down his jaw, past his chin and to his neck. The young man let out a breathy moan as his whole body shivered, desperate for more. The other man smiled and began to move his hand lower. He stopped at Yuuri’s perky nipple that tented his shirt and pinched it just enough to make Yuuri gasp.

“Victor…” Yuuri began to protest half-heartedly. “We shouldn't…”

The priest brought a finger up to Yuuri’s lips. “Call me Father Nikiforov,” he instructed with a smirk before dropping to his knees and reaching for Yuuri’s zipper. “Close your eyes and I'll take you to heaven,” he whispered before wrapping his lips around something he definitely shouldn't have in his mouth.

Yuuri’s eyes rolled to the back of his. “Victor… I'm gonna… I'm gonna…”

Bzz. Bzz. Bzz.

Yuuri awoke to the sound of his alarm blaring and a sticky mess in his boxers. “Fuck!” he cursed before shoving a pillow over his face, trying to wipe the naughty, thrilling memory from his mind.

How can I face Father Nikiforov again after this? he asked himself and let out a muffled cry of frustration. I have to do something to get over this, he decided and threw the pillow to one side. Maybe if I get him to turn me down, I can move on from this once and for all.

That was how Katsuki Yuuri decided he was going to seduce a Catholic priest in the capital city of Russia.

***

It was a Tuesday, Victor's least busy day of the week. He held a morning service at ten o’clock and then a playgroup for the local young mothers and children. There would be a support group in the afternoon but that was run by a local charity, so he would just have to make sure that the door to that hall was open by two o’clock. Aside from that, Tuesdays were uneventful, so he spent time preparing for the weekend services, choosing hymns, finding interesting bible passages, and thinking of the best stories to tell. He sat in his office thumbing through his favourite bible and trying to find something interesting. He tried to teach fun lessons and he hoped he could find something relevant to the locals that they would enjoy. There had been the birth of some babies recently so maybe he could do something about family?

Victor’s thoughts were interrupted as he heard a knock on the door. When he opened it, Victor couldn't believe his eyes. Standing in the doorway was none other than Yuuri Katsuki looking… Well, very, very different. His hair was gelled back away from his face and his usual chunky blue glasses were nowhere to be seen. He hardly recognised him at first and it actually took a while to process what he was seeing. Yuuri flashed a dazzling smile in the priest’s direction and Victor was a goner.

“Good morning, Father,” Yuuri greeted with much more confidence than he actually felt. “I heard you needed some… help .” He grinned in Victor’s direction and ran a hand through his hair.

Victor knew he was in trouble as his eyes devoured the sight of him. He cleared his throat and looked away for a second as he struggled to compose himself. He gulped. “Good morning, my child,” he replied, trying to remain professional. “Are… are you here for the volunteering position?” he asked. He wasn't sure what he wanted to hear more, Yuuri saying that he was there by some magic coincidence, or that he was in fact here to shadow Victor today.

Yuuri took a careful step forward and dropped his hands into the pockets of his jeans nonchalantly. He tried his best to give Victor a sexy smouldering look (whatever that was) before answering, “That’s right. I’m here to help. You can do whatever you want with me.”

Victor blinked. For a moment, he wasn't sure how to reply to that. Surely…? It was wildly inappropriate, if it would have been anyone else then he would have nipped that kind of innuendo in the bud. A church was not a place for language like that. Regardless of how wrong it was, Victor still felt himself getting a little warm around the collar.

Victor cleared his throat. “Great, you can tidy the pews,” he said. Really he needed help in the office, he had a lot of filing that needed doing, a ton of stuff that needed shredding, and the place in general was a mess, but the thought of being in such close proximity was too much for him to cope with and he already found his mind wandering off and thinking about what they could do together behind the closed door. “I need the new hymn books putting out and everything straightening for tomorrow morning’s service,” he explained.

“You got it,” Yuuri replied eagerly before setting off to complete the task as quickly as possible. If he wanted his plan to succeed, he needed to spend as much time around the priest as possible. Since Victor knew his secret now, once he understood that Yuuri was coming onto him, he’d scold him and push him away. That would kill his crush, wouldn’t it?

So, Yuuri dusted the wooden pews, collected any trash from the floor, and placed the hymn books out for the congregation before returning to the private rooms at the back of the church. With a happy smile on his face, he burst into Victor’s office choosing not to knock this time. “I’m done!” he declared. “That was easy. Surely, you’ve got something harder than that for me.”

In that moment, Victor debated leaving the church entirely and just letting Yuuri figure it out by himself, but he knew that was not the correct thing to do either. Guide me, Father, for my faith is tested. He had spent so much time praying for guidance, and this was the complete opposite of what he had prayed for, Yuuri was guiding him straight into sin.

He pulled a smile onto his face. “Thank you, Yuuri,” he said, and he meant it, because if it wasn’t for Yuuri volunteering this free time then he would have to do the pews for himself. He tried to focus on the positives of Yuuri being here instead of his mind slipping into forbidden places. He racked his brain of what else he needed help with as he was reluctant to admit out loud that he needed help in the small office.

“You’re very welcome,” Yuuri told him with what he thought was a charming smile, but what did Yuuri know? He’d never been charming in his entire life! Anxiety bubbled up inside him as he noticed the priest’s hesitance and awkwardness. His plan definitely seemed to be working. Something heavy settled low in the young man’s chest as he realised that he was right there was no way he was going to be with Victor. He let out a sigh and scrubbed a hand over his face.

“Your office is a little messy,” he pointed out dropping all flirty pretense. “I can help you tidy it up before I leave if you like?”

Victor felt stuck. He nodded his head slowly, a blush creeping its way to his cheeks. “I…” It would be wrong to lie… “I would appreciate that, thank you,” he said finally. He looked down at the bible in front of him, his face flaming and not understanding why he was so affected by the young man.

With one look around the untidy and unkempt office, Yuuri set to work taking out the trash, straightening the paintings hung on the wall, and placing folders back into a filing cabinet. He said very little to the priest. Honestly, he was feeling a little ashamed for his sinfully lewd behaviour until he caught sight of Victor’s slight flush on his cheeks and the way his eyes lingered a little too long on Yuuri when the priest thought he wasn’t looking.

Yuuri smiled. He wiped his hand over the perspiration on his forehead and then unbuttoned the top two buttons of his chest, fanning himself with his other hand. “Well, what do you think?” Yuuri asked, turning to reveal his heated appearance to the other man. “I think it looks much better, don’t you?”

Victor couldn’t help it as he licked his lips and he tried to keep a calm and neutral expression on his face when honestly, he was anything but calm. His palms were sweating, he was trying not to smile, and his stomach had butterflies in it. He didn’t think he had ever been so happy to be in another person’s presence. He couldn’t stop trying to get a glance at Yuuri, which was silly because all he was doing was tidying. It wasn’t like he was doing anything questionable.

How could all of this be wrong when it felt so right? Victor felt like he had taken several steps back as he struggled to keep his emotions in check. He felt like a confused teenager again.

“Father?” Yuuri asked when Victor didn’t say anything. He took a few steps closer to the desk where Victor was sat. “Are you okay?”

Victor nodded and tried to move himself backwards a little to put some space between them in the enclosed room. “I’m well, thank you. I value your assistance,” he replied, hoping that his voice sounded normal and that somehow Yuuri could not read the emotions he was experiencing on his face.

“Is that so?” Yuuri replied with a small smile as he noticed the flush creeping higher on Victor’s neck, past his vicar’s collar. “I assure you, I can be of much more assistance than this. If you ever need someone to lend a hand .” He leaned his elbows on the desk and grinned over at the flustered priest. This hadn’t been what Yuuri had expected, but damn it all if he wasn’t going to push his luck.

Victor was pretty sure that he squeaked as he suddenly stood and scrambled out of his chair with such haste that he almost fell over. “I must go open the door for the support group,” he said in a rush before practically tripping out of the room and power walking down the hall.

“V-Victor wait!” Yuuri called, but it was too late. If the priest had felt something for Yuuri, that was probably his only chance to see it through and Yuuri had ruined it. “Shit!” he cursed under his breath before following the priest in a very stalker-like fashion. “Father! Wait!”

Victor paused as he realised Yuuri had followed him and he stopped. He was embarrassed. He looked at the floor ashamed.

“I… I’m sorry,” Yuuri began, his own face flaming bright red now. “I don’t know what came over me I just…”

Victor breathed deep and slowly gathered his courage. He turned around to face the young man. “Yuuri, sometimes our emotions and feelings may overwhelm us, and we may be tempted to do or say the things that we know we shouldn't,” he explained, taking pity on the younger, vulnerable man, “but we have to try and hold it together,” he said as he stepped forwards.

“...We?” Yuuri repeated. “I was right! You are…” He trailed off looking around to see if anyone else was near where they could overhear. “You’re gay!” he whispered excitedly. “I knew it. I knew it wasn’t wrong. How can it be when someone as extraordinary as you is gay?”

Victor’s eyes widened in surprise and he hurriedly shushed him, he grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him into a nearby room. He checked if anyone had seen them and then shut the door behind them. “Yuuri! Please, you can't let anyone hear you say such things,” he begged in a hushed tone.

The younger man was too ecstatic to take him seriously. “I’m sure you could find a few ways to keep me quiet,” he teased with a wide, toothy grin. Yuuri took a step forward to close the gap between himself and Victor. “I saw how you were looking at me, Father . Tell me you’re not attracted to me and I’ll go away.”

Victor lost his words as he found himself trapped against the door. He was shaking and he couldn't stop looking at Yuuri's face, at his lips… “Yuuri…” he managed and then held his breath.

That was all it took for Yuuri to be daring. He pressed in further to Victor’s personal space and kissed him square on the lips. The kiss was insistent and inexperienced, but it made Yuuri’s heart stutter in his chest. When he drew back, the younger man could barely even take in a breath. His whole head was swirling. “Wow.”

Victor slowly opened his eyes and looked down at Yuuri, exhaling as he felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. He licked his lips. He could feel the ghost of Yuuri's lips against his own and he looked at the other man in complete astonishment. He had expected something terrible to happen, for God to smite him where he stood but there was nothing. Nothing but Yuuri who was staring at Victor with a look that he didn't understand but he wanted to.

Victor surged forward and cupped his hands against Yuuri's face, pulling their lips back together. He held the soft press there for a few seconds, hardly believing what he was doing. He felt Yuuri's lips move against his own and the two of them came to life.

Before he really knew what he was doing, Yuuri’s hands were in Victor’s hair and pulling him closer in their lip-locked embrace. He pressed Victor against the wall and devoured his mouth, licking and sucking against those beautiful, plump, and pink lips like they were his last meal on Earth.

“Victor…” he moaned against the priest’s lips as he felt every inch of the other man’s muscular body press against his. It was the most heavenly delight and Yuuri didn’t believe anything so wonderful could ever be a cause of damnation. He finally pulled away for breath and let out a breathy, pleasure-filled sigh. His eyes were closed, overwhelmed with the enormity of emotion that swept through him.

“Victor…” he repeated like it was the only word he could say any more.

The sound of footsteps echoing down the corridor pulled Victor back to reality and he looked at Yuuri alarmed. “The support group!” he hissed and then pushed away from the man as he struggled to compose himself. He somehow worried that everyone would know just by looking at him, he couldn't stop worrying. He smoothed his hair and wiped his mouth. He fished the keys from his pocket and then cast one final look at Yuuri before opening the door and striding over to the people who had gathered there. He put on a confidence that he didn't feel and prayed that no-one would know what had just happened.

***

Feeling defeated, Yuuri returned home to mope and whine about how his crush definitely was gay, definitely was into him, and definitely was scared to do anything about it. He collapsed on his bed with a sigh and for the first time in a long time he wished he could speak to Mari, but she’d be busy running the onsen right now. First, he’d been rejected from the ballet company after royally fucking up his audition due to nerves and now this. He sighed loudly into the pillows before flipping over, switching on Netflix, and watching a cheesy romantic comedy. He resisted the urge to run and grab the ice cream. He had more pride than that, surely.

After a while of pouting, it suddenly came to Yuuri that he’d gone about this situation all wrong. Maybe he shouldn’t have outright tried to flirt and seduce him, after all, regardless of gender the man had taken a vow of celibacy! So, maybe Yuuri could show him he was interested in more than just what was hiding under his slacks...

Yuuri was going to ask him out on a date.

***

Victor found himself sat at the side of his bed and praying again that night, Makkachin was to the left of him, sitting with her paws on the side of the bed and imitating her master in a gesture that made Victor appreciate her so much. He was trying to feel close to God, trying to ask for forgiveness and find some strength, to reestablish that connection but he was struggling.

“Forgive me, Lord, I pray to you for guidance. Bless me through this time of challenges, and help me find inner peace and strength to not commit these sins.” Victor’s hands were grasped together firmly and his eyes squeezed tight. He prayed and prayed until he couldn’t anymore and eventually he pulled himself into his bed.

Though once there, he turned thoughts around in his mind and he felt terribly confused about everything. His hand found its way to his lips and he touched them. Yuuri had kissed him. Everything he had been thinking about these past weeks was reciprocated. Yuuri was young and beautiful and everything that Victor desired but he could not have.

***

By the time Sunday came around, Yuuri was dressed up in his finest suit and strutting into the now familiar church to find a front row seat for Victor’s sermon. He managed to land a seat on the pew in the second row and looked up at the priest behind the pulpit expectantly, awaiting the start of Mass.

“Good morning, everyone, and welcome to all the regular and new faces who are here today. My name is Father Nikiforov and I will be leading your service today,” Victor introduced through the microphone. He paused, his throat going dry as he spotted Yuuri closeby. The young man normally sat towards the back and kept his face buried in the program but today he looked straight up at him and Victor had to focus.

The priest managed to keep it together and was glad when the first hymn notes were opening on the organ, he wasn’t sure how it had even happened because he seemed to be talking on autopilot and looking anywhere that wasn’t the second row. Singing was familiar and it was a welcome respite that he used to try and steady the beating of his heart.

The mass continued just like any other Yuuri had experienced. Though the hymns were in Russian, Yuuri sang along as best he could and watched the object of his affection all the while. He had felt guilty for so long for wanting the priest, but now, with the taste of Victor still lingering on his lips, he threw caution to the wind. He wasn't leaving this church today without getting something more from the blue-eyed preacher.

When the Mass ended, Yuuri darted up the aisle and to the front where his eyes met Victor's. “That was quite the sermon, Father,” he began cheerily. “Very moving.”

Victor paused and pretended to be busy himself, looking down at the mess of activities that had been left on the tables in front of him. He glanced up and then around himself, feeling cautious. He was sure that Yuuri would never say something inappropriate in front of everyone, but still it didn’t stop the worry from consuming him. There was still several church-goers hanging around and helping to clean up, children darting around and playing while they waited for their parents to stop chattering and Victor was scared that they would all somehow know.

“I was hoping I could talk to you again about something,” Yuuri said as he took a step closer to the preacher. “You know, in private.”

Victor’s heart felt like it had stopped. He looked at the other man. He seemed so harmless, but his feelings for him were so huge, especially after what they had shared. He should say no, he should set things straight with Yuuri, he should tell him it was all a mistake and that they could never do that again… except… his palms were sweaty and he wanted to hear what Yuuri had to say. He wanted Yuuri to talk him out of it being a mistake and assure him that what he was feeling was real and valid. It was all too much to think about and feeling a bit overwhelmed he found himself nodding.

“Okay, but… you’ll have to wait, I need to say goodbye to everyone and lock up. Please, wait in the office for me,” he instructed, before continuing to tidy up and then walking off towards a gentleman that was hovering and looked like he wanted to speak to Victor.

“Of course!” Yuuri replied eagerly, a great big smile spreading across his face. “I'll wait as long as it takes.” With that, Yuuri sped off down through the back of the hall until he reached Victor's office. He made himself a seat by perching on the desk and began rifling through the papers on the desk, curious and bored.

Victor let out a sigh of relief when the last of the church staff and visitors left. He locked the main doors and then made his way towards the office. He hoped that the other man had changed his mind and that he would not be there, but at the same time, he desperately wanted to see him again. He couldn’t stop the flutter of excitement as he opened the door and Yuuri was sat there, tidying his paperwork.

“Hello,” he greeted, a little nervously. He felt like so much had happened between the two of them, so much that shouldn’t have but now he was here in the close proximity of the office, just the two of them, he struggled to find guidance and strength from the Lord. It was as if some influence was controlling his body and was inside his mind.

“Victor!” Yuuri exclaimed delightedly at the sight of the priest. “I'm so glad you came back here to talk to me. I wanted to… I wanted to apologise for the way I've been acting.” He took a deep breath and pushed away from the desk. “I came on too strong, I know that. It's just that… You're beautiful. To know that there was a chance I could be with you…” He shook his head. “Anyway, I wanted to make it up to you… Maybe with dinner? My place?”

Victor’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. This was not what he had been expecting. He had thought that Yuuri might try to kiss him again, or worst, he might try and kiss Yuuri. But this… he wasn’t sure how to feel about this. Nobody had ever really taken an interest in Victor before, not like this, he had devoted his life to God, and to the Bible, and he had a connection with God that he believed could not be replaced. But here was Yuuri, and he was making him doubt all of that, it made him wish things were different.

“Yuuri,” he said gently. “I am very flattered, but what I did with you, that was wrong, I fear I have taken advantage of you. I am a priest, a man of God, and that was a moment of weakness,” he explained, feeling his heart sink through his chest. “My feelings for you cannot be expressed in this way, no matter how much I want that. If you chose to pursue happiness and embrace this part of yourself, then I wish you luck and much happiness in finding a partner, but that person cannot be me. It would be selfish of me to fool you into thinking otherwise. I could never offer you more than companionship,” he lied, feeling terrible and effectively talking to the floor instead of the other man.

Yuuri's heart sank in his chest. The bright smile vanished from his face. “No, that's not right,” Yuuri protested shaking his head. “I was the one took advantage of you. You didn't do anything wrong. I threw myself at you.” He stepped forward towards the priest. “None of this is your fault, but I don't regret it. Victor… I want you.”

Victor’s breath caught. “Please, I… I shouldn’t,” he said, silently begging Yuuri with his eyes. “You make me want so much,” he admitted, “I’ve never wanted something as much as I want you but… I took a vow…” The words didn’t even sound believable to himself, and he wondered if they even made sense to Yuuri, if it would even matter in the end. He felt like this was going somewhere dangerous. That he had been lost to this man the moment he stepped foot in his church those many weeks ago.

Something had changed, something felt different… Victor had prayed for company many, many nights. Was this the Lord’s way of giving him what he had asked. He had been so very lonely and now here was someone who wanted him, who understood him and desired him. He seemed to have dropped into Victor’s lap and it all seemed terribly strange. Why would this be happening if it wasn’t the Will of God? It seemed that no matter how hard Victor resisted, he still wanted Yuuri. He still fantasized about where this could go. Was it so wrong to want to be happy?

Yuuri could see the desperation and the conflict written all over Victor’s face. His eyes shined with it. “I won't make you break any vow,” Yuuri told him with the most sincere look on his face. “As gorgeous and devastating as you are, I can live with you being celibate. I just… I'm tired of lying and hiding. I want to be free and enjoy my life for the first time… Don't you?” Yuuri reached out with a shaking hand, offering it to Victor.

Victor hesitated. How was it possible that Yuuri made it sound so easy, so simple, when what was happening was anything but. This was life-changing, completely devastating for Victor. It was making him want to change everything. “I… Would you really do that?” he asked. “For me?” Surely it wouldn’t be wrong as long as they did not touch each other… Victor was taking a dangerous path.

Yuuri nodded eagerly. “I just want to make you happy, Victor.”

The priest slowly nodded in affirmation. He believed him. Yuuri was a good person and maybe it was not a coincidence that they had met. They seemed to both have a deep understanding for one another and they felt so similarly. Yuuri was acknowledging Victor for who he was, respecting his boundaries and yet he still wanted him. It made his chest warm.

“I… thank you, Yuuri,” he said and he really meant it.

Before he could lose his nerve Victor stepped towards and pulled the man close to him and into an embrace. He held him close, breathing in that scent and there it was, the relaxed feeling of calm, the warmth and the friendship, the love. It was all the things he felt for God but he was feeling it with Yuuri. It had to be a sign that this was a blessing. An answer to his prayers. Victor was so relieved that he could have cried.

Unsure what else to do, Yuuri wrapped his arms around the man in front of him and held on tight. He felt a little unsure about everything. He wanted Victor of course, but even he had his own doubts about the idea of being with a celibate and devoutly religious man. Still, he buried his face into Victor’s neck and let out a small sigh.

Finally, he drew back with a small smile. “So, dinner, my place?” he prompted with a cheeky, shy smile.

Victor slowly nodded. He wasn’t sure if it was the right decision. He would be sure to really think it over and talk to God about how he felt about it. But for now, it felt right. “I… okay,” he finally agreed, before reluctantly separating from him and then wishing the young man goodnight.

***

Victor stared at his reflection in the mirror. He didn’t really have any fashionable clothes, only a lot of robes and practical clothes such as running clothes and (very) casual wear. He did, however, find a pair of dark jeans that he managed to squeeze into and a smart shirt and a jumper. He found himself twisting and turning, trying to see if he looked appealing, and then feeling guilty for wanting to look nice for Yuuri.

“Am I doing the right thing?” he asked Makkachin, who was sat staring at him like her master had gone mad, and Victor was starting to fear that he had. What was he doing? Was he really going to go and eat dinner with Yuuri? He tried to justify his behaviour to himself: It’s just dinner. I can resist. We can just be friends… But somehow Victor knew that when it came to Yuuri, that wasn’t the case. It wasn’t just dinner and Victor could not resist.

So, why was he doing this? Well, Victor had been thinking about his situation a lot. He had assumed growing up that since he was attracted to men, and he wanted to be a priest, these things did not go together. He knew plenty of priests who were celibate and had taken the same promise that he had, but he also knew priests that were married. This thing with Yuuri made him wish for something of a middle ground. He knew he should want to be married (and he did) but there was no way he could marry Yuuri. It was wrong. Both in the eyes of God and of the law. But he wanted to be happy…

Victor was so conflicted. He had asked God for a sign not to do this, yet all he was finding were reasons why he should give Yuuri a chance: He knew his boundaries; he was a young gay man also; he was also Catholic; he knew Victor was a priest and that would come first… the list went on and on.

Victor felt like he had to find out. This opportunity felt like one in a million.

Gathering his courage, Victor grabbed his rosary and placed it over his head, he tucked it under his shirt and the familiar feel of it against his skin brought him comfort. He said a short prayer before he finally pulled his coat on.

“Wish me luck, Makka,” he said, giving the pooch a soft scratch to her head before he pulled his coat on and stepped outside.

***

With the delicious, creamy scent of parmesan and smoky pancetta wafting through the entirety of Yuuri’s apartment, he checked his watch repeatedly to see if it was 6pm yet. Yuuri had chosen to wear a simple outfit: just jeans and a black henley. Nothing special or out of the ordinary since he’d told Victor he didn’t expect anything more than… Well, friendship. The younger man exhaled and rubbed a hand over his face, exasperated

Typical Katsuki Yuuri always wanting what he can't have.

After one last longing look at his cheap wristwatch, Yuuri stood to check the sauce was still heating gently when the doorbell rung. He sprang to attention, combing his hair back off his face with his fingers and reaching up out of habit to adjust his glasses before remembering he was wearing contacts. He took one last look at himself in the small mirror in the hallway before grabbing the door handle and yanking it open more excited than a kid on Christmas morning.

“Victor!” he cried at the welcome sight of the priest, for the very first time, without his typical church garb on.

Damn .

“Yuuri,” he said, feeling a little breathless. Though Victor’s heart seemed to calm as soon as he saw the other man, but that didn’t stop him from hesitating as he struggled to step over the threshold. As soon as he went inside then that was it. He was knowingly entering Yuuri’s home, fully aware that he had already done that he had already said too much to this young man. There was no going back now. Victor took a deep breath and stepped inside.

“Welcome!” Yuuri greeted with a smile. He led Victor down the hallway and into the small apartment where the kitchen and living room encumbered the same space. He pointed at his cheap, leather sofa and gave the priest another smile. “Please take a seat, would you like a drink? I have water, herbal tea, wine?”

He should really ask for tea, but it wasn’t often that Victor went out. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had voluntarily spent time with Victor the person and not Victor the priest. It would be nice to let his hair down. So with that in mind, he replied, “A glass of wine, please.” He hoped it would help with his nerves.

“Of course,” Yuuri answered with a nod and turned to walk to the fridge.

Victor sat down and looked around the modest room, he was pleased to see a lot of books but they looked to be in Japanese, but it pleased him to think that they had something in common. “You like to read?” he asked.

“I love to read,” Yuuri called from the kitchen area as he unscrewed the top of the cheap white wine and began to pour it into two glasses. “Murakami is my favourite.” He reappeared in front of Victor and offered him a glass. “I don’t know what I would do with my life if I wasn’t able to find an escape in my books. It’s like every one of them is a little world reserved just for me, so when things get rough I can just…” He trailed off and flushed, looking down at the floor. “I’m sorry, I’m babbling. Nerves.” He let out an awkward laugh. “Do you, um, like to read?”

Victor smiled and nodded slowly at Yuuri, pleased that it was not just him that was so affected by their encounter. “No, I understand. I spend a lot of time alone, so books are my friends,” he admitted, not embarrassed by that admission at all. “I… I’m very nervous too, I hope you’ll forgive me if I embarrass myself,” Victor said, feeling a warmth spread into his face. He took a sip of his wine, grateful to have something to do.

Yuuri took a seat next to Victor and shrugged, feeling a little less anxious knowing that Victor understood. “I don’t think you have to worry about that. You’re the one who has to taste my dreadful cooking,” the younger man joked. “I can’t believe I invited you for dinner. I’m so sorry in advance. We can order take out if it’s that bad.”

Victor grinned, finally relaxing at Yuuri’s casual joking. “No, this is fine,” he said, “it actually smells amazing. It’s nice not to have to cook for myself for once.” Victor enjoyed cooking, and he was hopeful that if tonight went well, that next time he could invite Yuuri to his cottage and he could cook for him instead.

“It’s the only easy recipe I could think of that you might like,” Yuuri admitted. “There are not many Japanese places in Saint Petersburg - or Asian places for that matter - I thought it was best to stick with something less exotic.” Yuuri offered a small smile as he sipped from his glass and felt his head grow dizzy from the alcohol. “It’ll be a few more minutes until it’s done. Did you want to talk about… what happened?”

Victor instantly felt the blood rush to his face. He looked at Yuuri unsurely before taking another sip of his wine. “I guess we should. We’re both adults, and this situation is very… delicate.” That was a nice way of putting it. “Are you sure you don’t want to try and be with someone who is less complicated than me?” he asked, feeling self-conscious and unsure. He wanted Yuuri, but would it really be fair to him?

“Absolutely,” Yuuri replied. Seeing Victor again and like this - relaxed, away from the church - only made Yuuri feel stronger than before that they were doing the right thing. “Unless… You’re having second thoughts?”

“I… this is a lot for me. I never expected to find someone that was interested in me this way. I’ve never really been interested in anyone outside of… shapes and feelings… this is all new to me. But, I think I really like you.” He looked at the young man sincerely. He had never dreamed that someone so beautiful would be interested in someone like Victor.

The confession made Yuuri’s heart race. “I… I feel the same way too

The timer in the kitchen buzzed and Yuuri jumped.

“Ah, food should be ready. I thought we had more time. Just give me a second.” He jumped up and darted to the kitchen before serving the authentic Italian dish onto his plain white plates. He brought two food-filled dishes back into the living area.

“I don’t really have room for a table or anything as you might have noticed,” he began shyly. “Is eating here okay? We could put a movie on if you like?”

Victor nodded. “It’s okay, my cottage is only small too, I don’t see a need for frivolous things. I try to live simply,” he explained. He liked Yuuri’s small apartment, it had a lot of character. “You don’t have to worry about that kind of thing with me,” he assured him. “Eating here is just fine.”

Yuuri let out a sigh of relief and placed the two dishes onto the coffee table before handing Victor some cutlery. He tucked into his own food, surprised that it was halfway decent for once, and let out a moan as the taste danced on his tongue. “Oh my God, this is better than I’ve ever made it before,” he explained. “Must be something to do with you.” He winked in Victor’s direction before catching himself and feeling embarrassed.

Victor flushed. He wasn’t sure if it was the wine going to his head but he couldn't stop smiling at the comment that had been made. He knew Yuuri was joking, but still, it made him happy nonetheless. He began eating and it wasn’t long before he completely cleared his plate. “I’m sorry,” he said, “I must have been more hungry than I realised. Thank you, it was lovely.” He reached for his glass of wine and was surprised to find that empty too.

“You’re welcome,” Yuuri replied as he collected their empty plates and piled them up in the sink. “Would you like another glass?” he asked.

Victor found himself nodding. “If you have one, but it will have to be my last one. I shouldn’t have much more or you might have to carry me home,” he joked. He was much more relaxed and he felt very comfortable in Yuuri’s presence. He had thought he would probably go over, eat and then leave, but he wanted to stay. He wanted to watch something with Yuuri and spend more time with him.

“Sure thing,” Yuuri replied with ease as he swiped Victor’s glass from the table and refilled them both. His whole body had grown hot and tingling from the intoxication and it only made him feel bolder and a little reckless.

When he returned, Yuuri lifted the TV remote and opened Netflix. He hovered over a few different choices before settling on a cheesy rom-com (his guilty pleasure). Feeling relaxed and more at ease, Yuuri leaned back on the sofa and took a swig from his glass before looking over at Victor. He couldn’t stop his eyes from wandering over the other man’s body because damn, what a body.

After a few seconds, however, Yuuri snapped back to reality and blinked. “Sorry, I didn’t even think about dessert. I hope you’re not disappointed.”

“No, that’s fine. I don’t often indulge in sweet things,” he explained. “The meal was lovely, thank you.” He could feel Yuuri’s eyes on him and he flushed under the attention. No-one had really looked at him this way before, and he found he like that Yuuri seemed to be admiring him. He shuffled closer to the younger man on the couch.

“I… there’s something else I just wanted to mention because I feel bad not bringing it up. I know you said that you’re nineteen, but I’m almost thirty. I wasn’t sure if you realised or not.”

The teenager looked down at his glass, swirling the sparkling liquid around uncomfortably. “Well, I knew you were older than me, but I wasn’t really sure how old,” Yuuri confessed. “Is this the part where you give me another reason you can’t be with me?” He looked up at Victor then, pain shining bright in his dark brown eyes.

“No,” Victor replied, setting his wine down on the table and turning to look at Yuuri. “I just wanted us to be clear, that’s all.” He stared into those eyes and flushed again as his eyes dropped down to the other man’s lips.

“Clear…” Yuuri repeated, his brain unable to focus on much else but Victor and his body so close to him on the tiny couch. “Clear is good. Clear is… fantastic. Crystal… clear.”

Victor smiled and leant forward. Very slowly, he leant his forehead against Yuuri’s and then reached forward with his hand. He slowly linked their fingers together. “I’ve thought about you a lot,” he whispered, gently brushing his nose against Yuuri’s affectionately.

All of Yuuri’s skin felt like it had been set alight from such gentle, precious touches. He had to fight down the urge to rush forward and actually mount the guy. He gulped. “I’ve… uh… Thought about you too,” Yuuri replied, hoping Victor didn’t somehow sense Yuuri had been having wet fucking dreams about the man whose lips were now inches away from his own. And why had Yuuri started to think about those dreams? Because he was definitely moments away from getting a tragically awkward boner and his heart was racing like mad. Was Victor getting closer? Oh God, my palms are sweating.

Victor’s free hand went to his chest where he touched the rosary hiding under his clothes. He gathered his courage. Resisting felt wrong. Pulling away right now would be wrong. It felt like every cell in his body was screaming at him to close the space between them and to kiss Yuuri. He remembered how soft the man’s lips were, he could remember how he tasted and what he felt like. It was everything that he wanted now.

Victor let out a shaky breath before moving forward at an achingly slow pace, making it very clear what his intentions were as he gently touched his lips against Yuuri’s. All the tension melted out of his body, every worry that he had, every doubt… Yuuri felt amazing and this was everything .

A surprised gasp escaped his lips as Victor kissed him. He definitely had not expected the priest to make the first move, but he also wasn’t complaining. He pressed back against his touch, hesitantly at first. He was so afraid that Victor would reject him again, but he wasn’t going to pass up an opportunity like this. The way Victor’s lips moved in time with his own was like the sweetest symphony. Yuuri took a risk and pressed the tip of his tongue against Victor’s mouth and being rewarded with the parting of the other man’s lips.

The taste of him was sweet and Yuuri was hungry for more. He gripped onto Victor’s shoulders as he explored deeper inside his mouth, his tongue delighting in the new sensation. A moan ripped out of Yuuri’s chest as he found himself lost in the kiss, in the embrace, in Victor.

Victor shuffled forwards, wanting to feel more of the wonderful emotions and feelings that were flooding through his body. It was like he felt dizzy but he craved more. Yuuri’s touch felt so perfect. The way he responded to him easily. This was wonderful. It didn’t feel dirty or wrong, and Victor sighed in relief because he had been right. There was no way that God had put Yuuri in his path to be ignored. Victor was meant to love Yuuri. He felt like he had been made for him.

Unable to help himself, he responded to the moan he felt against his lips. Tentatively, he softly bit into Yuuri’s lip and then broke the kiss for a second to look at the man that he felt was pulling him apart.

Dazed, Yuuri took a second to realise Victor had pulled away. When he did, Yuuri frowned. “Did I do something wrong?” he asked, feeling insecure.

Victor found himself smiling and he shook his head no. He reached up and cupped Yuuri’s face gently, before closing the space between them again and kissing him once more.

Yuuri pressed back into the kiss before drawing back with a huge grin on his face. “So, what do you think of the movie so far?” he asked playfully, turning to indicate the romance on in the background.

Victor followed his line of sight before letting out a quiet chuckle. “There was a movie on?” Victor replied equally as playfully before they both descended into laughter interspersed with sweet kisses and cuddles.

***

That night when Victor went home he was so happy that he couldn’t stop smiling, and when he was greeted by Makkachin at the door, he was more than happy to change into his jogging gear and go for a run with his pooch. He felt like he was flying, he was so deliriously happy and full of energy that he didn’t know what to do with himself, and as he was laying in bed that night he felt like he was vibrating with happiness. He was too excited to sleep.

He reached for his phone and nervously tapped on his chat history with Yuuri, which only consisted of Yuuri sending him a smiley face when they had exchanged numbers this evening. He quickly typed out: Thank you for a lovely evening, we should do dinner at mine next time. :) He added a kiss at the end before he could change his mind. He hugged the phone to himself, excitedly wondering if the other man was still awake to text him back.

Victor almost dropped his phone on his face in excitement when it vibrated a few seconds later. Of course, it was wonderful to see you. I miss you already. Victor felt butterflies in his stomach at the words and his face grew warm. He couldn’t believe how fast this was all moving, his felt so close to Yuuri already and it had only been such a short amount of time. Victor wondered if it was possible to fall in love so quickly, but in his heart, he knew Yuuri was the one for him. He had never felt this way before. Thinking about all the emotions that Yuuri sparked in him made him very curious and he found himself rethinking his previous life choices.

Victor didn’t touch himself. He had a few times in the past, but he always found himself feeling guilty after he had done it. But the memories of is kisses he had shared with Yuuri tonight, the feel of his arousal pressed against him had awoken something inside the normally reserved man. Victor found himself flushing from the memory. He buried his face in his pillow as he smiled. He wanted to do it, to touch himself… He wanted to think about Yuuri’s lips again, about how his hands would feel on his body, about the hot press of their bodies…

Victor let his hand wander down and he slipped his hand under his pyjamas and slowly touched his cock. He teased himself, rubbing the length gently as he let his mind delve into all the possibilities. He wondered if Yuuri would want to touch him like this, he hoped that he would like it. He thought about what Yuuri might look like naked, all his creamy skin on display. He had felt Yuuri’s firm, fit body against his own, he had felt the muscles under his clothes… He wondered what Yuuri’s cock looked like, what it would feel like in his hand if it would be bigger or smaller, either way, Victor knew that he would love him regardless.

It didn’t take long for Victor to rub himself to completion, the memory of Yuuri in his mind and the sound of his name on his lips.

***

They didn’t wait long to see each other again. In fact, Yuuri was at the church the very next day to volunteer and Victor was instantly blushing knowing what he had been doing last night while thinking about the other man. Though he wasn’t embarrassed, something told him that Yuuri wouldn’t mind him thinking about him that way.

“Good morning,” he greeted him, trying to remain professional but he couldn’t stop his smile and the blush on his cheeks. He didn’t have too much to worry about though, there were only a few groups on this morning and Victor had already done the coffee morning. The church was empty aside from the occasional person flitting around.

“Good morning, Father,” Yuuri responded with an equally bright pink blush. “How are you this morning?”

“Better for seeing you,” Victor said. “I’ve been rather bored all morning.” He pouted.

“Oh, is that right?” Yuuri replied with a smirk. “Maybe I could find some way to entertain you…”

Victor glanced down to Yuuri’s lips and then looked down the corridor. He grabbed him by his sleeve and led him into the cloakroom nearby.

Once they were alone, he replied, “What did you have in mind?” with feigned ignorance and a cheeky smile.

The priest never failed to surprise him. Yuuri grinned and stepped a little closer. “Well, we could pick up where we left off last night…” the younger man suggested as he eyed Victor’s lips hungrily.

Victor let out of a soft moan before he could control himself. Even the idea of kissing Yuuri again was too much. He didn’t answer but instead stepped forward deliberately and wrapped his arms around Yuuri’s shoulders. He kissed him, sighing happily against the man’s lips as he pressed his body eagerly against Yuuri’s, unable to stop himself.

He probably didn’t look very attractive, dressed in his robes and the many layers separating them felt like too much. He pulled away frustrated, pulling his robes over his head and throwing them out of the way, leaving him just in his black slacks and his smart white shirt. He launched back at the man, wasting no time as he pressed him against the wall and devoured his mouth. It had only been a few hours since they had kissed like this, but Victor felt hungry for more. It was like the time apart had been too much. He wanted to kiss Yuuri like this every day.

Yuuri had never expected Victor to react so eagerly. He had thought that the priest would repeatedly try to stave off his urges, but apparently, Victor had been doing that for too long already. It was like the priest didn’t even realise he’d been starving until he’d tasted Yuuri and now he couldn’t get enough. So, Yuuri wrapped his arms around Victor, feeling the slight crunch of his crisp, white shirt as it crumpled between their bodies, and kissed him for all he was worth.

Their tongues happily lapped and licked at one another as they lewdly made out in the church cloakroom. The thought that anyone could be outside walking past or could stumble upon them in such a ravenous embrace only made Yuuri hornier. He felt his cock grow hard and press insistently against Victor’s leg and he pulled back a little embarrassed at how teenage-like he was behaving. The blush on his face meant he couldn’t hide how he was feeling.

Victor could feel the press of Yuuri's arousal against him and he shivered in desire. He could feel his cock responding, hardening in his underwear and pressing uncomfortably against his slacks. He whimpered into Yuuri's mouth. “Tonight,” he promised and then pulled back to look into his eyes meaningfully. “You'll come to mine tonight, won't you?” he asked. “I finish at six today, but I can probably get away sooner.”

Yuuri couldn’t stop the big, wide smile on his face. “It’s a date.”

***

Victor should have felt nervous as he walked with Yuuri to his cottage which was at the back of the church grounds. It was small, only having one bedroom, and then a small kitchen and sitting room. But honestly, he was a little excited to share his private space with the other man. Victor loved his cottage, it brought him great comfort, and though he was lonely when he was at home, he still liked his space and was excited to spend some more time with the other man.

Once they were over the threshold, Makkachin was jumping excited into Yuuri and desperate to meet the new man who had come into her home. She proceeded to jump all over him and lick at Yuuri’s face.

“I’m sorry,” he said and laughed, secretly delighted that his dog liked Yuuri so much. “She’s completely harmless,” he promised, before letting her out the kitchen door and to go and wander around outside for a while.

Now Makkachin was out of the way, he was free to start cooking dinner with Yuuri. The two of them chatted as Victor prepared one of his favourite dishes, and the two of them steadily made their way through a bottle of wine.

It was nice and Victor had never felt so at home than being there with Yuuri. It was something so simple, the two of them at ease with each other’s company, a little shy and Victor feeling like he was falling more in love with every second that passed.

The two of them finished eating, stood in Victor’s tiny kitchen, steadily gravitating towards each other until Victor had Yuuri pressed against the worktop and was kissing him breathlessly. “You taste so good, you make me want to do so many things that I shouldn’t…” Victor murmured against the other man’s lips. “I’ve already done so much that I shouldn’t, but you make me feel so good,” he admitted, thinking back to the previous night where he had touched himself.

Yuuri couldn’t help the smile that graced his face. “I know just how you feel,” Yuuri admitted. “I spent so many years torn between whether this was right or wrong… It wasn’t until you told me I should be happy that day in the confessional when I felt so lost, that I finally realised… I wanted to be free.”

Victor nodded, understanding exactly how Yuuri was feeling because he felt the same too. “I thought you were sweet. I already had a crush on you,” he admitted. “I couldn’t bear to tell you to repent when I was so lost on you already. I would have been such a hypocrite. I don’t know if it was the right thing to do, but it feels right, doesn’t it?” he asked, looking sincerely into Yuuri’s eyes. “How can this be wrong? You’re so beautiful. You make me warm, right here,” he said, taking Yuuri’s hand and placing it over his heart. “Do you feel it too?” he asked, feeling more vulnerable than he ever had in his life.

Feeling a little vulnerable too, Yuuri merely nodded. “I’ve never felt this way before, not about anyone. I had a crush on you for so long. I would come every sunday just to see you… When I said I was having those impure thoughts and dreams… Well, they were about you.” His whole face turned red and he cast his eyes downwards. “You probably already guessed that though, huh?”

Victor had suspected so much, but hearing the confirmation from Yuuri made his stomach explode with butterflies. “I…” he broke eye contact with him as his face flamed. “I thought about you last night…”

The whole room felt like it just became 20 degrees warmer. “You… You thought about… me?” Yuuri asked, his palms growing sweaty as he imagined Victor, the beautiful, muscular Victor, laying down in bed and thinking about Yuuri. Did he touch himself and think about me? Yuuri wanted to ask, but he couldn’t find the words. This was the most incredible information he’d ever heard.

“Yes… I don’t normally do things like that, but I thought you wouldn’t mind,” he admitted. “I hoped that you’d like that I did that.” He looked back at Yuuri and bit into his lip self-consciously.

“You can think about me anytime you want, after all, I’d be a hypocrite if I told you that you couldn’t,” Yuuri replied, his heart racing as he tried to summon the courage to ask Victor what he desperately wanted to know. “I mean, I even… You know, touched myself when I thought of you.” Those important words came out in such a quiet whisper, Yuuri wasn’t sure Victor would even hear him.

Victor groaned. “That is a very attractive image,” he whispered back. “I thought about touching your cock,” Victor whispered dirtily, his heart beating frantically in his chest. He wanted Yuuri to know that he turned him on like no one else had before, that he made him want to experience so many wonderfully naughty things with the man. The thought that he shouldn't say such things only made him want to tell Yuuri even more. “Then I made myself come as I moaned your name.”

“Holy shit,” Yuuri cursed, his legs trembling as he pictured Victor rubbing his own cock and calling Yuuri’s name. More than ever before, he wanted to be there. He wanted to be next to Victor in his most intimate moments, watching how he touched himself, making him come with Yuuri’s own hands or lips…

“I want to touch you so badly,” the younger man told him. “Please, can I touch you? Or do something…”

Victor took Yuuri's hand and led him over to the sofa in his small living room. He didn't waste time pretending they were going to watch a movie or do anything other than make out on the sofa. All day Victor had been teased by Yuuri's presence, and now he wasn't on duty, he wasn't Victor the priest, he was just Victor who liked Yuuri. He wanted to pretend things were simple.

The two of them sat side by side but instantly connected, hungrily kissing each other and both relaxing into the now familiar feeling.

Feeling more confident, Yuuri dived into the kiss. He wrapped his arms tight around Victor's neck and shifted his body forward until he was straddling Victor's thighs. He sat comfortably on Victor's lap and pressed his body closer until their chests were pressed together.

After a moment, Yuuri broke away for a breath, panting. “Victor…” he whispered breathily. “I can't believe this is real. This is better than I ever imagined.”

Victor nodded in agreement. He’d had no idea. He didn’t think that anything could ever feel this way. He pulled Yuuri closer, unable to stop his hands as they found their way to the younger man’s hips. The man felt broad against him, the feel of him so very real, the weight of him in his lap driving the priest insane.

“Oh, Victor,” Yuuri moaned as the man's hands roamed over his body. He rocked his hips a little, encouraging Victor to touch him more. He wanted everything Victor would freely give. Yuuri’s hands ran through the priests grey hair as he leaned down to give him a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss. At the same time, Yuuri rolled his hips again, moaning into Victor's mouth at the friction between them.

Victor responded to Yuuri enthusiastically, he didn’t really know where this was going or what was going to happen next, but he wanted to find out. He wanted to see if Yuuri would continue to make such pretty noises and if his hips could rock against him again so deliciously.

Victor was so hard, he had never been so hard in his entire life and he could feel Yuuri’s arousal pressed against him too. There was something wonderful about feeling Yuuri against him like this. It was out of control, but it was also vulnerable. Victor unsurely let his hands wander lower and he paused nervously and a little overwhelmed on Yuuri's thighs.

In total opposition to the preacher, Yuuri couldn't get enough. His hands trailed down Victor's chest, feeling every line and bulge of his flesh under his jumper. He kissed Victor's lips a few more times before moving to his jaw and then his neck, licking and sucking at the delicate skin there.

“You taste so good,” Yuuri whispered against his skin. “I can't get enough.”

Victor moaned as Yuuri’s lips touched at his neck, he tilted his neck and relaxed back against the sofa as pleasure swirled in his stomach and groin and shivers ran down his spine from Yuuri’s touches. His hands gripped Yuuri tight and he couldn’t hold back any longer, he shifted and rocked his hips upwards, trying to chase the feelings that Yuuri was sending spiralling through him.

“Fuck,” Yuuri cursed under his breath as Victor’s hard cock rubbed against his ass. He feverishly leaned down and kissed Victor with all he had, writhing his body against the man beneath him like a horny teenager.

“Yuuri,” Victor gasped against him. “I think… I think…” He lost his words, his face flaming as he struggled to explain what he meant, saying the words felt naughty. Victor knew that he shouldn’t say them, but it felt so good and he wanted Yuuri to know what he was doing to him. “I… I’m gonna come,” he gasped, his face scrunching up in pleasure as he panted against the younger man’s lips.

“Yes…” Yuuri moaned and sped up his pace, rubbing his ass along Victor's clothed erection over and over. “Come for me, Victor. Come thinking about me, only me.”

Victor nodded and gripped at Yuuri, finding his confidence as his hands moved to Yuuri’s ass. He shouldn’t touch here, they weren’t married and Victor still felt confused. But he let it all go and guided Yuuri with his firm touch, rocking him in his lap and arranging him to be where he needed him. “Yuuri,” he moaned desperately. “You feel amazing.” Victor’s hands were shaking.

“That's it, “ Yuuri encouraged, pressing his forehead against Victor's own. “Touch me and let go, Victor.” Yuuri couldn't stop the smile gracing his lips as he indulged himself in the sight of Victor so dishevelled. His face was a picture of pleasure and Yuuri couldn't get enough of it. He wanted to commit the sight to memory.

Victor couldn’t hold back and he wasn’t sure that he knew how to. His hips seemed to stutter of their own accord. He moaned loudly, unable to keep the sounds spilling from his lips as pleasure peaked inside him. He kissed Yuuri furiously, riding the high that was soaring through him.

Seeing Victor come undone beneath him was all it took for Yuuri’s own orgasm to grab hold of him. He spurted his own sticky semen inside his pants and gasped before dropping his head down on Victor's shoulder. His eyes were closed in pure pleasure and he could barely string together a coherent thought. His breath was shaky. His hands were sweating. Yuuri had never felt anything so incredible before.

Victor was pretty much the same. He kissed over Yuuri's face and felt impossibly close to the man. He had never imagined he could feel this way. He felt like he would do anything for Yuuri. He hugged him close. “So, maybe I want to reconsider what I said about staying celibate,” he panted breathlessly with a laugh.

“Thank God,” Yuuri panted and laughed.

Victor gasped and smacked his hand over Yuuri's mouth, looking up alarmed as if he was worried He would hear them. He tutted at him playfully before moving his hand and bursting into laughter too.

***

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”

Victor couldn't stop the smile that bloomed on his face as he heard Yuuri’s familiar voice. “How can I help you, my child?” he asked.

“I’ve been suffering from some more impure thoughts,” Yuuri teased, suppressing a laugh as he spoke so formally to Victor in the confessional.

Victor grinned. “Tell me more, have you partaken in sins of the flesh?” he asked, knowing full well exactly what types of things the other man had been up to.

“Only my own flesh, Father,” Yuuri whispered breathily. “I’ve touched myself a lot, I can’t help myself.”

Victor flushed and he felt arousal pool in his stomach. “Masturbation is a sin, my child,” he scolded playfully. He couldn’t believe that the man was being so brazen about what he was saying in the house of God. He would say he was surprised, but by now nothing about Yuuri shocked Victor when it came to his desire for the priest. He was always honest and open about his lust for the older man. And though Victor was still adjusting to a life where he partook in sexual relations, he welcomed Yuuri’s advances.

“I guess that means I should be punished then,” Yuuri replied with a smile.

Victor rolled his eyes affectionately and then stepped out of the booth to see if there was anyone else waiting to be seen by him. As he guessed, Yuuri was the last. Victor marched to the front of the church and locked the door before returning to the young man.

“Mr Katsuki,” he greeted as he pulled the curtain open. He raised an eyebrow Yuuri.

Yuuri gasped when the curtain was opened he hadn’t been expecting that. “Y-yes, Father?” he stuttered.

“Come with me,” he instructed, slowly pulling his collar out. “I’ve finished for the night,” he said, with a knowing look. “My house? Or can’t you wait that long? Do you need me to punish you right here?” he cheekily replied.

Yuuri’s eyes widened and bulged out of his head. Who was this person and what had they done with Victor?! Well, he wasn’t going to argue. “I bet you’d like that wouldn’t you,” Yuuri replied with a teasing grin. He stepped forward and pressed his hand to Victor’s chest. “I bet you’d like to touch me, right here, right now. I bet you’d get off on just how naughty it was, wouldn’t you, Father?”

Victor gulped and he was surprised to learn that yes, he would love that. He had just been playing with Yuuri, joking, but he was sure that Yuuri was very much not joking and would, in fact, let him touch him inside the empty hall of the church.

The younger man let out a delighted laugh. “Oh, Victor, you’re incredible,” he remarked before closing the distance between them and pressing his lips, hot and heavy, against Victor’s own.

Victor leant into the kiss. He felt a little self-conscious kissing Yuuri in the house of God, but he tried to remind himself that Yuuri loved him and that God had granted him Yuuri. It was okay to kiss him. Nothing bad had come from their intimate frantic touches and it wasn't wrong to want to feel close to the other man. At least, he hoped. Victor hesitantly kissed him back, one hand gripped on his rosary and waiting for a sign from above to stop, but there was nothing but Yuuri's soft mouth and his warm body pressing ever closer to the priest.

A small moan escaped Yuuri’s lips as he pressed his body closer to Victor. He sucked and bit at his lover’s lower lip before pulling away. “I wonder what else I could do to you here,” he whispered in a sinfully deep and suggestive voice. “Would you let me get on my knees for you, Victor?” he asked with a smirk. “I bet I could find a whole new reason for you to cry out ‘hallelujah’.”

Victor groaned. Surely Yuuri didn't mean…? He wanted to know. He wanted to know so badly that he nodded and then kissed Yuuri again. “Yes, I… no one would know?” he asked. Yuuri was right, there was some kind of thrill running through him at what they were considering doing. Victor was so very curious.

“I promise, it’ll be our little secret,” Yuuri told him with a wink as he dropped down to his knees on the cold stone floor. With inexperienced hands, Yuuri tugged on the waistband of Victor’s slacks and pulled the zipper down. Before he did anything more, Yuuri rubbed over Victor’s bulge in his boxers reverently and then looked up at the priest through his eyelashes. “Still want me, Father?”

Victors hands were trembling as he looked down at Yuuri. He should have felt self-conscious about exposing himself like this when he wasn't married, he should have said no but somehow he trusted Yuuri and he wanted to see what he was going to do. “Yes,” he answered honestly. “I always want you,” he admitted.

Licking his lips, Yuuri pulled Victor’s boxers down and exposed his long, thick, and uncut cock. He let out an appreciative moan at the sight before leaning forward and pressing gentle kisses to the tip of it. Curious, Yuuri licked the head as he pulled the foreskin back and got the salty, bitter taste of Victor’s precome. Enticed, Yuuri wrapped his lips around the head and began to gently bob his head, careful to keep his teeth away from Victor’s delicate skin.

Victor was frozen, hardly believing what was happening. He let out a shaky exhale. “Yuuri,” he moaned, as he was surrounded by hot wet heat, impossibly soothing and yet maddening as he sucked Victors hot length. He buried his hands into Yuuri's hair and very gently rocked his hips as soft deep moans cascaded from his lips.

Encouraged by Victor’s response, Yuuri let his mouth go slack and began to work Victor’s cock with more vigour. He glanced upwards as he bobbed his head to see Victor’s face flushed, his eyes closed, and his mouth open in pleasure. Yuuri ran his tongue around the head of Victor’s cock before pushing forward again and taking as much of Victor’s cock in his mouth as he could. Once he felt the thick head push against his gag reflex, Yuuri pulled back and repeated the process over and over, thirsty for the man’s enormous dick. Spit escaped his mouth and dribbled down his chin, but Yuuri didn’t care. He just wanted to take Victor higher and higher.

“Yuuri,” he moaned, his name sounding like a prayer as he uncontrollably started to thrust into the man's mouth. He was powerless. He could do nothing but sob with pleasure. He hadn't thought that anything could ever feel so wonderful and he felt so impossibly close to Yuuri and incredibly overwhelmed that the other man was doing something so sinful to him. Yet it didn't feel sinful. It was amazing. Earth shattering. Victor never wanted it to stop.

“Please, Yuuri,” he begged, his knees weak and his hands scrunching in the man's hair as he felt himself slipping into the abyss.

Yuuri was turned on beyond belief, his own aching erection pressed uncomfortably to the denim of his jeans, but he didn’t care about himself. All he wanted was for Victor to come so hard he’d forget any reason why they shouldn’t be together. So, he licked and sucked over and over again until he could feel Victor’s body trembling. Trying one last time, Yuuri pushed the priest’s cock all the way inside his mouth until the tip pushed down his throat. He swallowed.

Victor whimpered, biting into his lip to try and stifle his cries as he came. He gasped as he realised what he had done, he had done it in Yuuri's mouth. Yet instead of being annoyed or disgusted with Victor, the man continued sucking his cock through his orgasm. Victor eventually pulled away and he dropped to his knees.

The priest immediately closed the distance between himself and Yuuri, kissing the man and praising him for what he had done. “That was amazing, thank you for doing that for me,” he said, feeling like he was floating from happiness.

“Can I… Can I do that for you?” he asked. A month ago, Victor would have never have even dared to think about doing that to another man, let alone actuary doing it and in church no less. But it wasn't just anyone. This was Yuuri. He was special. If Yuuri could do this for Victor and make him feel so wonderful, then he wanted to try and do that too.

Surprised, Yuuri’s eyebrows raised almost to his hairline. “Of course,” he rushed to say, “I mean, you don’t have to. I enjoyed it very much. You don’t have to feel like you need to do it for me just because I did it for you.” He looked into Victor’s eyes deeply, trying to convey the sincerity he felt.

“I can try? I want to try,” he said, nodding eagerly and then gently pushing Yuuri to the floor, encouraging him to relax back into the cold stone.

He felt nervous, so Victor kissed him calming his beating heart with the familiar action as he let his hand touch Yuuri over his jeans for the first time. He gasped into the young man's mouth. It was so very strange yet exhilarating to touch Yuuri here. He felt hard under his hand and he rubbed the length, memorising the feel of him through his clothes. It was fine. Victor felt silly for being so nervous.

He followed his instincts and unbuttoned Yuuri's jeans. Slowly, he slipped his hand into his underwear. He found his cock straight away, hot and hard and silky smooth as he wrapped his hand around him and slowly started to jerk him off. “Is it good, Yuuri?” he asked and then kissed down the man's neck, trying to prepare himself for what he was going to do.

“Holy shit,” Yuuri cursed as his cock was touched by someone else for the very first time. He arched his back into the feeling and exposed his neck for more of Victor's loving kisses. “It feels amazing. Please. Don't stop.”

Victor smiled and felt invigorated by Yuuri's honest and enthusiastic response. If Yuuri could do this then so could he. Yuuri had looked like he had enjoyed pleasuring Victor so it must be fun, right? He kissed him once more before pulling away and then sitting between Yuuri's legs.

Victor pulled at Yuuri's jeans and underwear and exposed him to the cold air. His eyes widened as he looked down at Yuuri admiring his body as the man looked at him through lidded eyes. He looked so pretty and his cock was so hard, a perfect length and width and looking deliciously flushed with arousal, the head peeking out from the foreskin and shiny with precome.

“You're so beautiful.” Victor wondered how he had ever thought this could be wrong. Yuuri looked amazing and it was impossible not to lean forward and want a taste.

When Victor finally took Yuuri’s dick in his mouth, the younger man couldn't hold back. He let out a loud cry of pleasure and began to writhe. His fingers reached out and his nails dug in a  futile manner into the stone beneath him. It was the most wonderful and delicious feeling. The warmth of Victor's mouth was enticing and Yuuri couldn't stop himself from imagining fucking up into it.

The noisy bottom let out a slew of moans, one after the other, as his cock was caressed, stroked, and sucked better than in his wildest dreams. “Victor…” He gasped as his thighs began to tremble. “S-so good.”

Victor groaned. Yuuri's cock was thick and heavy and tasted heavenly in his mouth. It became addictive, the feel of him inside, the drag of his hot hard cock against his tongue, the slight throb as he swallowed him down deeper. He pulled off for a second and let out an obscene moan as he watched himself jerk Yuuri's spit wet cock.

“Fuck,” Yuuri whispered as he reached down and gently caressed Victor's cheek. The man's lips were red from the obscene way they had just been wrapped around his cock and Yuuri couldn't hold in the groan that escaped him.

Victor groaned at the dirty word.

“You're so beautiful, Victor,” he moaned as his climax rapidly approached. His toes curled and his eyes rolled back in his head. “Please can I come in your pretty mouth?”

“Yes I… I want that,” he gasped breathlessly before taking Yuuri back into his mouth again. He felt like he was drunk on the feeling of pleasuring the other man. He wanted this so badly and so much more. He wanted more of the addictive bitter taste dripping from Yuuri's dick, he wanted to hear more of his moans and cries, he wanted to suck him down over and over until he was falling apart under Victor's touch.

As soon as Victor’s lips wrapped around his cock again, Yuuri was coming, hot streams that seemed to explode down the back of Victor's throat. Yuuri cried his lover’s name so loud it echoed in the grand, empty hall. He'd never felt so entirely satisfied in his life. He lay back, boneless, on the cool stone floor and panted, trying to recover his breath.

“Th-that… was… amazing,” he stuttered.

Victor wiped his mouth and then appeared smiling above Yuuri. “Yes, you're right.” He kissed him again.

***

A week went by with Yuuri and Victor seeing each other almost non-stop. When Victor wasn’t preaching and Yuuri wasn’t bussing tables in a local cafe, they split their time between each other’s homes and fell quickly into a routine of spending time together. They couldn’t go outside on dates, but it suited them just fine since they enjoyed cooking together, playing with Makkachin, and snuggling on the sofa while they both pretended to watch the TV.

One night after an extensive make-out session on the couch, Yuuri checked his watch and panicked. “Oh, shit, it’s late, Victor,” he exclaimed, pushing away from the sofa and Victor simultaneously. “I should have left hours ago, the streets will be dark and empty now. Fuck.”

Victor sat up feeling dazed and disappointed with Yuuri suddenly separating from him. He wished he could stay longer… he licked his lips nervously. “I mean, you… you could stay the night. Like… In my bed. With me.”

Immediately, Yuuri whipped his head around to look at his lover. “Really? You mean it?” he asked, excited at the prospect of being able to spend more time with him and being able to cuddle him all night.

“I… I've never shared a bed with someone before,” he admitted. “But I like the idea of being close to you and of us waking up together tomorrow. Do you think it would be wrong?” Victor worried his lip and looked up at Yuuri hopefully. He knew it was wrong, but he wanted it anyway. Yuuri had a way of making him want everything he shouldn't.

“Nothing ever feels wrong when I’m with you,” Yuuri told him with a smile, grasping Victor’s hands between his own.

Victor nodded slowly. “Okay, let's go to bed…”

Victors heart was beating rapidly as he led Yuuri into his bedroom for the first time. There was something terrifying about sharing this space with Yuuri, but at the same time, he was so excited to share yet another new thing with the other man.

“I have some clothes for you to borrow. I must warn you, it gets very cold in the night.” The thought of having a warm body beside him was very attractive.

Yuuri grew excited at the thought of wearing clothes that smelled like Victor. “You’ll have to keep me warm then, won’t you?” Yuuri retorted with a big smirk. He loved how easy it was to make the other man flustered and he used it to his advantage as much as possible. He lived to surprise Victor.

Victor didn't disappoint and flushed at the suggestion, suddenly feeling warmer at the idea of Yuuri being so close to him while they were in bed together. “How do you always know how to make me blush?” he asked with a smile. “I think you enjoy teasing me.” He collected some clothes from his dresser and then handed some to Yuuri.

As he began to change into the long-sleeve pyjamas, showing off his creamy, pale skin to Victor as he did, Yuuri shot the other man a smirk. “I definitely do, you look beautiful when you’re flushed,” Yuuri told him and winked at him. Once he was changed, Yuuri padded over to the bed and slipped under the covers. “Are you coming, baby?”

Victor flushed bright red at the pet name and felt a heat curl in his stomach. He turned the light off and climbed into bed with Yuuri. He snuggled close to him, trying to get used to another person in his bed but it didn't take long, he wrapped himself around Yuuri and pulled him close. He was so warm against him, and his skin was so soft where he let his hand caress against his exposed skin in a comforting manner.

“I liked it when you called me baby,” he told him, feeling a little shy at the admission because of how intimate it felt. “I like a lot of the things we do together. This has got to be one of my favourites. I like the idea of you being in my bed. I wish you could stay here forever.”

“I think a lot of the churchgoers wouldn’t be happy,” Yuuri teased as he wrapped his arm tighter around Victor’s waist. “But maybe someday I should just kidnap you and take you away, somewhere I could keep you all to myself…” He pressed a loving, gentle kiss to Victor’s forehead. “But until then, I’ll settle for one night with you, baby .”

Victor groaned and buried his face into Yuuri's neck. “You could never kidnap me, I'm too willing,” he retorted. “I'd do anything you wanted me to. I mean, you make me want to do so many naughty things to you,” he whispered and then kissed the side of Yuuri's neck. He ran his hand suggestively down Yuuri's back and then slipped his hand under Yuuri's shirt. “You feel so good here,” he said, running his hand over Yuuri's tightly toned stomach. Arousal swirled through him as he touched him and he felt the space between them warming as his cock started to swell.

Yuuri moaned as Victor caressed him so tenderly. He was honestly the same. He’d do anything for Victor. Every ounce of awkwardness and shyness went away when he was with the priest. It just felt right. Everything between them had been effortless and instinctual. He never wanted to lose him.

“You’d do anything I wanted?” Yuuri repeated with a grin as he dropped his hand under Victor’s t-shirt and teased at the waistband of his pyjama trousers. “What if I wanted you inside me?” he whispered in a deep, seductive voice.

Victor gasped and gently pulled away. He had not expected Yuuri to say something like that. He wasn't naive, he knew that men were able to have sex with each other but he also knew that they shouldn't. Yet, the idea turned Victor on more than anything before. He'd only penetrated someone once before, and it hadn't been an enjoyable experience. It had been awkward and was a huge mistake. The young lady involved was very unhappy at the time that Victor couldn't seem to perform very well and Victor felt disgusted and embarrassed for days. He had never tried to do it again. He just figured that he wasn't very good at sex. Though it excited him that Yuuri was suggesting Victor make love to him, how was he supposed to tell him that he was bad at it?

He pulled away nervous. “I…” he struggled to find his words. “I apologise. I am not pure,” he admitted and he felt ashamed. He had never told anyone before. “I tried before when I was seventeen, but I wasn't very good at it. I'm sorry.”

Immediately, Yuuri rushed to reassure his lover. “You could have slept with thousands of people,” at this Victor’s eyes went wide, “or none,” he continued. “Or you could never want to have sex and I would still love you, Victor.” Victor’s mouth fell open at the admission and when Yuuri realised what he’d just said, the younger man froze, his eyes widening. “Ahh, I didn’t mean to… I didn’t know I was going to say that… I didn’t know I felt that way, but… I guess I do. I… I love you, Victor.”

Victor’s uncertainty seemed to vanish at those words. Of course, he was in love with Yuuri, he had been for as long as he could remember, it was hard to look back and think about his life before. Yet hearing the words from his beloved's mouth made his heart swell in pride and love. “I love you too,” he said without hesitation. “I know we can't marry, but I hope you understand that if it were possible I would marry you tomorrow if I could. I want this forever. I don't want to ever be without you. I wish I would have saved myself for you. I know we shouldn't but… I want to try…” Victor wasn't quite sure how it was going to work, but he felt like everything with Yuuri was a wonderful adventure. He somehow knew that if he did this with Yuuri, that it would be their secret and he could never imagine feeling disgusted or regretting it like he had all those years ago. He was older now and this felt so different to this awkward fumbles he had as a teenager.

Hearing Victor say that he loved him made Yuuri’s heart swell. He leaned forward and kissed the other man feverishly as if he was dying. “You never needed to save yourself for me,” Yuuri assured him with a grin. “I want you, just as you are, right now and forever.” With that, Yuuri hooked his leg around Victor’s hip and drew their bodies closer together. He pressed greedy, open-mouthed kisses to Victor’s lips, urging on the passion between them. He so badly wanted to share this with Victor. He wanted to feel his lover’s cock buried inside him. He wanted Victor to be his first, his last, his only.

Victor clung to Yuuri, feeling so desperately in love with him. He wanted to feel closer, to be so much closer to him. He wanted to share everything with him. He accepted Yuuri's feverish kisses and returned each kiss eagerly.

He pulled at Yuuri's clothes desperately. “I want… I want to see you.” He had seen Yuuri's nakedness a few times, but he had never had him completely bare of clothes and that's what he desired now. He wanted the two of them naked together as if they were married. “Please?” he begged, ripping at Yuuri's bottoms urgently.

“Anything for you, baby,” Yuuri told him before reaching down and pulling his t-shirt over his head. Then, he pushed his boxers and trousers down to his ankles before kicking them off.

Victor devoured the sight of Yuuri's young naked body, his pretty creamy skin, his toned muscles and his hard aching cock which was displayed proudly leaking against his stomach. Victor was so excited that he wasn't sure where to start, he wanted to touch him everywhere, he wanted to do everything with him.

Victor pulled his own clothes off and rolled on top of Yuuri, pinning him down on the bed so that their naked bodies were touching for the first time.

“You are so beautiful, I can't believe we're going to do this… I honestly never thought…” He kissed Yuuri, unable to explain what he meant with words and instead tried to show him by the way he desperately gripped at him, by the way his hands trembled and shook from touching something so precious. From Yuuri. No one else but Yuuri.

Hungrily, Yuuri kissed him back and threaded his fingers through Victor’s soft, silver hair. He spread his legs until Victor fit perfectly between his soft, thick thighs. “Victor…” he moaned against the other man’s mouth. “I want you so bad.”

Their cocks rubbed together and Victor moaned into Yuuri's mouth. “Fuck,” he cursed and nodded in agreement. “I want to fuck you,” he whispered into Yuuri's ear as he rocked his cock against Yuuri's. He should have felt bad saying such rude words but he couldn't, saying them just turned him on more. “Tell me you want me inside again,” he said, reaching for Yuuri's hand and linking their fingers together.

He had been right. It was already so different from the experience he'd had at seventeen. Victor was nervous about making love to Yuuri, but more because he wanted it to be good for him. He wanted it so badly that his entire body and soul ached for it. It didn't feel wrong. How could it when Yuuri was so perfect beneath him?

“Please,” Yuuri begged as his eyes rolled to the back of his head, overcome with the pleasure of Victor’s hot body against his own. “Please, fuck me. I want you inside me so bad.” He rocked his hips against Victor’s again, feeling the delicious slide of their cocks together and he let out another loud whimper.

Victor moaned and kissed him again. He couldn't get enough. “How… how do we?” he asked, pulling away and trying to see through the haze of arousal. He looked around his bedroom for something, anything that he could use to make Yuuri wet.

“Um… I assume you don’t have any lube?” Yuuri asked with a little huff of a laugh. “I mean, we could use spit, but… It’s my first time. I don’t think it’ll be enough.”

Victor racked his brain. “I have…” He thought about the contents of his bathroom but there was nothing that he thought would be safe. “Coconut oil,” he remembered triumphantly. “Will that work?”

“I… I think so?” Yuuri answered with a little hesitance. “Maybe I should Google it?” He’d only ever used proper lubricant since he didn’t want to hurt himself when he played with his ass and he’d never had any reason to experiment with anything else.

“Good idea,” Victor said and grabbed Yuuri's phone where he had left it on the bedside cabinet. The two of them waited anxiously for Google to bring up a reliable result and then both sighed in relief. “So it's good, right?” he asked. “I'm sorry, I've never had a need to buy such things. Can you imagine the looks I'd get in the pharmacy?” Victor laughed, trying to make light of the situation.

“It’s okay,” Yuuri assured him with a gentle touch to his forearm. He rubbed his fingers up and down the soft skin of Victor’s wrist. “It says that it’s safe, so I’m happy.” He looked up into the priest’s eyes with a small smile. They were finally going to do this. Yuuri was going to lose his virginity to the man of his dreams. He couldn’t wait.

“Okay, just relax, I'm going to get the oil, I'll be right back, okay?” He kissed Yuuri on the head before he ran to the kitchen.

Victor started searching for the container. He found it fairly quickly but then he leant against the side, he stood in the dark for a few moments and let his thoughts catch up with him. He squeezed his eyes shut and said a quick prayer, asking for forgiveness and courage, and thanking God for this opportunity and hoping that he still loved Victor despite his actions. He waited for a sign to stop, but there was nothing, only Yuuri waiting so patiently and trusting in the other room.

He took a deep breath. This was the right thing to do. They loved each other… nothing else mattered. And if he was wrong then only God could judge him and he would take his punishment. Yuuri would be worth it.

He returned to the room and removed the lid to the oil. He placed the jar on the bedside cabinet.

He climbed back on the bed and Yuuri smiled at him. Victor couldn't help but lean forward and kiss that smile. “Can we do it together?” he asked. “Will you show me what feels good?” He tried not to let himself panic, to think of how uncomfortable he'd been the last time he'd tried to do something this sexual. This was Yuuri. Yuuri would tell him. Yuuri was always honest with him.

“Of course,” Yuuri told him with a smile. “This will be good, I promise.” He touched Victor’s hand and brought it up to his own cheek. “I know you’ll be gentle with me and take your time. I know this is going to be the best experience of my life.”

That made Victor smile and he nodded before gently pushing Yuuri back, leaning over him and settling between his thighs again. He took his time kissing him, letting his hands memorise the feel of his skin and every one of Yuuri's wonderful responses, each gasp and moan, each desperate roll of his hips.

Once he thought both of them were ready, he slowly reached between Yuuri's legs, his fingers slick with oil and very gently, he rubbed against his entrance for the very first time. It was very different to what he had expected. He had never done this before, so it was a brand new experience. Yuuri was hot against his fingers and he felt so very tight. He didn't dare try to push inside as he touched the tense muscle. Surely he would never fit?

The feeling of Victor’s fingers rubbing so wonderfully against his ass hole had Yuuri moaning already. No one else had ever touched him down there and it was better than he’d ever dreamed of, especially with the sweet-smelling oil making the touch so slick and wet. “Yes,” Yuuri cried, spreading his legs even wider. “Please push inside me, Victor…”

Victor held Yuuri close and kissed him, stroking his hair with his free hand as he slowly pushed his finger inside. He was tight. So tight. And he was hot and slick around Victor's long digit. “Good boy,” he said, kissing him again. “You're doing so well,” he encouraged as he started to move, slowly fucking him deeply.

He pulled away from the kiss to look down between Yuuri's spread thighs. He watched his finger disappear inside Yuuri's ass and he whimpered. He was inside Yuuri. The experience felt oddly profound, and in that moment he appreciated Yuuri so much for being willing to share this with Victor.

“I love you,” he whispered against his lips, growing more confident as he felt Yuuri's hole start to relax.

Feeling someone else inside him was so strange at first. Yuuri had grown used to the shape of his own fingers and how deep he could push inside, but Victor wasn’t restricted by the angle like Yuuri always was. He could reach somewhere so much deeper inside and his fingers were a little thicker, stretching him wider than he’d ever been stretched before. His knees felt weak and he was grateful to be lying down.

“I love you too,” Yuuri whispered in between little breathy moans. “God, I love you so much…” He licked at the seal of Victor’s lips and pushed inside.

Victor moaned and his eyes fell shut, welcoming the touch. He basked in the bliss of touching Yuuri. He hadn't thought that touching another person would feel this way. It was so much more than Victor had realised. It was power and trust, pleasure and intimacy and so many emotions were running through Victor that he was powerless but to let go and just feel.

With every drag of Victor’s finger, Yuuri climbed higher in ecstasy. He never wanted it to stop and at the same time, he wanted Victor to hurry up so he could be ready for the other man’s cock. Then Victor pushed against his prostate and Yuuri let out a loud whine. “Right there, yes, fuck.”

Victor listened to Yuuri. He listened to the way his body told him what he liked, how he throbbed and ground his hips against Victor's finger and how he gripped at the sheets and kissed him desperately, his kisses open and sloppy as he moaned and cried against Victor's lips. Victor fucked into him over and over, giving him more, fucking him ever deeper, harder and he grew addicted to the feel of him.

“I can take it,” Yuuri whispered into the darkness of Victor’s little bedroom. “Please, another finger,” he begged as his hips rolled against Victor’s hand.

“Okay, darling, I've got you,” he replied. He reached for the oil and coated his hand in it again before returning between his thighs. “Can you… can you roll over onto your tummy? Or maybe your hands and knees? Just… relax, get comfortable.” With Yuuri lying on his back, he felt like he wasn’t quite in the right position. He hoped he would have easier access, though he would be disappointed that he couldn’t kiss him.

“Yeah,” Yuuri replied with a nod before leaning up on his elbows and giving Victor one last kiss and then rolling over onto his stomach. He pushed his ass up and out a little self-consciously, but he wanted to give Victor the best angle and make sure he knew he wasn’t uncomfortable.

Victor had not been prepared to see Yuuri in that position and his cock throbbed at the sight. He moaned and then rubbed his fingers against Yuuri's now exposed hole before slowly pushing them inside. He sat behind Yuuri comfortably and placed a kiss on his left ass cheek before gently biting down.

The younger man definitely hadn’t expected that. He let out a little yelp in response and then a low moan. He’d not thought that would turn him on, but then how could he? “Fuck, Victor…” Yuuri moaned, turning his head so he could look at Victor a little better over his shoulder. “I can’t… I’m so… You turn me on so much.”

Victor smiled and arousal swirled in his stomach, his cock throbbing and leaking from the experience. “Mmm, that's because you're such a good boy for me, aren't you, Yuuri?” he murmured, adding another finger inside Yuuri's hole as he leant down and licked teasingly over the bite.

Those words… Those hands… Yuuri couldn't even think straight. He was so overwhelmed by the pleasure he felt and the sinful way the priest was talking to him. It was completely different to the honourable and charismatic way Victor spoke in the church. Everyone there believed Victor to be saintly and pure… Only Yuuri knew the naughty sexual side hiding underneath. That was just how he wanted it.

“I'll always be a good boy for you, Father,” Yuuri promised in a breathy voice.

Victor groaned at Yuuri's response and rewarded him by pressing against the place that seemed to make the other man sob and plead. He rubbed against it over and over. “Tell me how it feels,” he said, twisting his fingers inside Yuuri's hole and watching it flutter around his fingers. “You look so hot, Yuuri, your ass is unbelievable.” He pulled his fingers out and moaned as he rubbed around the rim, teasing his hole. He spread him open and moaned at the sight.

“F-feels so good,” Yuuri stuttered, losing the ability to speak in clear Russian with every movement Victor made. “I w-want you… Want your fingers… Your cock… Everything.” He whined as Victor's fingers rubbed against his rim and made his fingers curl in anticipation.

“Are you ready? Do you think I can fit inside?” he asked, wondering if the other man was relaxed enough for it not to hurt him.

“I…” he began breathily. “I think you need to stretch me a little more… Put both fingers in at the same time and then… p-pull them apart.” Yuuri was so far gone at this point that he was surprised he'd managed to be so coherent.

Victor licked his lips at the suggestion. He was so turned on that his hands were shaking. He wanted Yuuri so badly but he would do as the other man said, he would never want to risk hurting him. So Victor followed Yuuri's instructions, thoroughly playing with the man's hole, several fingers stuffed deep inside him and spreading him wide.

“Fuck! That feels so good, Victor!” Yuuri cried as he fisted his hands in the sheets beneath him.

Victor was drunk on Yuuri's reactions. “Good boy. Moan for me, say my name,” he groaned before leaning forward and licking over Yuuri's stretched hole.

“What was--” Yuuri began to ask, but his own loud moan cut him off. It had felt soft and wet, just like his lover's tongue. He couldn't believe Victor would do something so filthy and he cried out in ecstasy. “P-please… Do that again, Victor…”

With such a pretty plea it would have been criminal to ignore him. Victor leant forwards and pushed his tongue inside Yuuri's hole, licking inside him and fucking him with it and then circling it around his rim. He kissed and licked Yuuri's hole until saliva was dripping from his chin and the other man was rocking back into the soft caress.

The dirty sounds of Victor eating out Yuuri's ass and their joint moans were deafening in the small room. Victor had never been more pleased not to have any neighbours to worry about.

“I… I think I'm ready…” Yuuri finally managed to say when Victor stopped for a breath. “How… How should we try it? I… I want to face you.”

Victor was nodding in agreement but then realised that Yuuri couldn’t see him. “Okay, yes, I want to kiss you.” He wiped his hand over his mouth. “Should I brush my teeth?” he asked. His face burned. Victor had been lost in the haze of instinct and desire and it dawned on him what he had just done.

Yuuri turned himself over onto his back so he could look at his lover. “No, no, I don’t care,” he told Victor hurriedly before leaning up and planting a kiss on Victor’s lips. “Yum, coconut,” he whispered before laughing.

Victor smiled, a little embarrassed but also deliriously happy. He kissed Yuuri again, laying the two of them down. “I… are you sure?” he asked. The decision to do this felt so big. He had already shared so much, much more than he ever thought possible to share with another person. “I… I still want to, but I’m worried I’ll hurt you.” It was the last thing that Victor wanted. Even with preparing Yuuri so thoroughly, he was terrified of trying to do this and the memory of his past experience, of him messing up, came to the forefront of his mind again. He tried to push it away, but he couldn’t forget it.

“I know,” Yuuri replied with a sweet smile. “But you won’t. I’ll tell you if it hurts, okay? Just go slow and be gentle.” He caressed Victor’s cheek lovingly before kissing him again. “You worry too much, did you know that?”

Victor nodded. He probably did worry far too much, even with Yuuri’s assurances. “I hurt her when I tried this before,” he admitted, trying to make Yuuri understand why he was the way he was.. “Promise me you’ll tell me.” He looked down at Yuuri desperately.

It made Yuuri’s chest tight to think about Victor in the same position before with someone else. Jealousy gnawed at his thoughts, but he tried to remember that the past wasn’t important now. All that mattered was the two of them, right here and now. “I promise,” Yuuri agreed and kissed him once more.

Victor nodded. He believed him. He gripped Yuuri’s thighs and lifted them slowly. He was surprised when he was met with no resistance at all and Yuuri spread his legs easily. The image of him spread like that underneath him made his heart stutter.

He gripped his cock and slowly pressed the head of his cock against Yuuri’s entrance. His breath was instantly stolen from him and he bit into his lip feeling so very close to the edge already. Yuuri felt so tight and hot around him. He whimpered as he slowly started to push inside.

“Is it good?” he asked as his eyes fell shut and desire coursed through him. “You feel so tight. You’re so amazing, Yuuri.”

All Yuuri could do was nod his head. His breath was coming uneven and rapid as he tried to get used to the feeling of Victor’s cock pressing inside him. It felt so huge, like impossibly huge. For one scary moment, Yuuri didn’t think he could take it. He thought it was going to rip him or tear him, but it didn’t. Instead, Victor just slid inside, though it felt a little uncomfortable at first. So, Yuuri gripped his lover’s shoulder tight.

“Just stay like that for a second,” Yuuri told him. “Don’t move. I want to get used to it.”

Victor immediately paused and stopped what he was doing. He kissed Yuuri. “I love you, are you okay? Let me know if you change your mind.” He stroked his face lovingly. He was panting with the effort to stay still. “You feel incredible, but if you need to stop we can stop.” He cuddled Yuuri close and pressed kisses down the side of his face and down to his neck.

“No, I don’t want to stop,” Yuuri told him with a slight shake of his head as the strange feeling of Victor’s big cock inside him began to change from uncomfortable to comfortable and finally, a little pleasurable. He let out a shaky breath. “Try again? Just be slow.” Yuuri rolled his hips a little in encouragement and a loud moan punched out of him as Victor’s cock slipped a little deeper inside.

Victor groaned and slowly started to rock his hips, grinding against Yuuri gently. Pleasure was curling in his stomach and groin and his hands trembled. He waited patiently, kissing where ever he could reach on Yuuri and slowly stroking the back of his thigh.

“F-fuck,” Yuuri muttered as he felt Victor slowly inch further and further inside him. It was a little bit of a burn at first, but slowly Yuuri grew used to the feeling and finally began to understand why people enjoyed penetrative sex so much. “Yes, fuck, Victor that feels so good… Please…” he whined, his head falling back and a slew of breathy moans falling from his soft, pink lips.

Encouraged by Yuuri’s reaction, Victor started to move, slowly pushing inside him deeper and harder. “F-fuck, Yuuri…” he moaned and unable to help himself he snapped his hips forward, driven by an instinct to make Yuuri moan that way again and again.

A rush of pleasure zapped up Yuuri’s spine as he felt Victor fuck so deep inside him. The younger man arched his back and clutched to the sheets beneath him, writhing uncontrollably and letting out a loud cry. “Yes, yes,” Yuuri moaned. “Please… Yes…”

Victor moaned in response and let himself get lost in the feel of the other man. He rolled his hips, pulling all the way out and then pushing inside harder, clumsily attempting to make Yuuri make more delicious noises.

“That's it, let me hear you moan,” he encouraged before shifting his hips slightly and then ramming into Yuuri harder.

It didn't matter. Yuuri couldn't have contained his moans even if he wanted to. As Victor's cock pressed deep inside over and over, dragging the head over his prostate and filling him up so good, Yuuri couldn't stop himself from clinging to his lover. His nails raked down Victor's back as he struggled to hold onto his sanity.

“You feel so good, baby,” Yuuri moaned. “You're so big inside me. I feel so full…”

Victor couldn’t stop moaning as he repeatedly fucked into Yuuri’s tight hole. He could believe that Yuuri felt full because Victor felt like Yuuri was crushing him and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold on. He was so incredibly turned on, so overwhelmed, and completely immersed in the pleasure of having sex with Yuuri for the first time.

“Yuuri, I’m gonna come,” he moaned, and he tensed and tried to slow down but it was like he had no control over his body. He didn’t mean to, but he found himself pulling Yuuri into his lap and then grabbing handfuls of his ass. The two of them took a second to rebalance in the unfamiliar position, but their lips pressed together and soon they were moaning uncontrollably as Victor helped Yuuri bounce in his lap, guiding him to ride his cock.

The new position meant that Victor’s cock buried deeper inside him and Yuuri could use his thighs to ride Victor. He pushed down on the mattress with his knees and felt himself grow emptier as he pulled his ass off of Victor’s big dick. Then he let himself fall back down and it felt like an extremely pleasurable punch to the gut. He moaned louder than ever before and smiled. He smiled at Victor before pressing sloppy, inexperienced kisses to his lover’s mouth.

“God, Victor, I never thought it’d be this good. I don’t want you to ever pull out of me…”

Victor was only tipped ever closer as he listened to Yuuri’s dirty words. “Yuuri, I can’t stop…” he warned, “I’m gonna come. Should I… Should I do it inside?” he asked, his hands gripping at Yuuri like a lifeline.

“Yes… Yes, please,” Yuuri begged in between gasps as Victor fucked him relentlessly now, thrusting up inside him maddeningly. “Come inside me, please,” he whispered into the other man’s ear before biting down on his ear lobe and laving his tongue over it.

Victor moaned and pulled Yuuri even closer, plunging himself as deep as he could and holding Yuuri in place as he came inside him. “Yuuri,” he gasped.

Feeling Victor’s hot come spill inside him made Yuuri want to orgasm too. He thrust his hand between them and rubbed his cock until he could feel his own climax overcome him. With his lover’s name on his lips, Yuuri spurted his seed all over his own abdomen and Victor’s, all the while feeling the other man’s come dripping from his used and sloppy asshole.

Panting heavily, Yuuri pressed his forehead against Victor’s and smiled. “I love you,” he told him fiercely. “I will always love you.”

Victor kissed all over Yuuri’s face. “I love you so much,” he said, hiding his face in the crook of Yuuri’s neck.

It wasn’t long before Victor had to pull out of Yuuri with a wince and suddenly Yuuri’s thighs were covered in the sticky evidence of their midnight romp. He looked down at the mess and smiled. “Do you mind if I take a shower?” he asked. “I don’t think I could sleep like this even if I tried.”

Victor nodded and held out his hand.

After Yuuri and Victor were both cleaned up, the two of them snuggled together for warmth on that cold Russian night in the heart of Saint Petersburg. Yuuri had never been happier.

***

Once they started having sex, they couldn’t stop. The two of them spent every free second together, and sometimes they pushed it, even seeing each other when they most definitely shouldn’t. Like last night when Yuuri had snuck off with Victor while the choir practised. He pushed him into a bathroom and dropped to his knees, sucking him off as the sound of the organ playing covered Victor’s muffled cries.

Victor never discouraged Yuuri’s behaviour though he knew he should. He’d never been in love before and he just wanted Yuuri to be happy. And he did like the things they did together, even if after the moment had passed he was left blushing.

Things had definitely become much easier between them. Yuuri had gotten a job, he and Victor talked daily, texting about work and their lives, and things felt effortless between them. Yuuri was blessed with cute pictures of Makkachin that turned any bad day instantly into a good one. They shared more kisses and private dates together, still wary of the law in Russia. It was something that still hung over their heads.

***

Yuuri had let himself into Victor’s cottage using the spare key under his doormat since Victor had told him he’d be taking care of something at the church until late. Yuuri didn’t mind, he enjoyed being surrounded by Victor’s things and Makkachin was there to keep him company. He tried his very first attempt at Piroshki which failed miserably causing smoke to fill the cottage, but before Yuuri could be annoyed at himself, he heard the door slam closed.

“Victor?” he called, excited about the prospect of seeing his boyfriend.

Victor stormed in, a frown on his face as he stomped into the kitchen. He was surprised to see Yuuri and it stopped him in his war path. “Why does it smell like burning in here?” he snapped grumpily. He was frowning so much that it gave him a headache, but after the day he’d had, he wasn’t surprised.

The Russian made his way over to the fridge to get himself a drink.

Immediately, Yuuri’s face fell. “I was trying to make something nice for dinner, but I…” He glanced over at the stove where the burnt pan was stood. “It didn’t go very well. I’m sorry, I’ll make sure I clean it all up.”

Victor sighed, rubbing his temples. “I’m sorry, darling, it’s not you. It’s those fucking teenagers. I know it’s them, they’ve spray painted one of the stain glass windows, it’s going to cost a fortune to mend and the church just doesn’t have that kind of money.”

Victor had been having some trouble with the local teenagers who were bored and resulted in mischief. There was nothing for them to do in the area and Victor felt bad, but he wished they could have a different kind of creative outlet.

“Oh,” Yuuri replied, feeling lost for words. “Maybe we could hold a fundraiser or something? I’m sorry, Victor. That really sucks.” He closed the gap between them and pulled Victor in for a comforting hug.

“Yeah, I guess so. More baking, yay,” Victor chirped sarcastically as he hugged him back. Though Yuuri meant well he just couldn’t get out of his bad mood. It had really annoyed him. He was just so frustrated. “I’m just so annoyed. I don’t think I’m going to be good company tonight. I might just go to bed.” He pulled out the hug. “I’m sorry, Yuuri.”

“No, wait!” Yuuri exclaimed, pulling back and looking at Victor’s face. “There must be something I can do?”

Victor groaned. He didn’t want to ruin their evening but he just felt pent up. Nervous energy was running under his skin. Ordinarily, he would go for a run or exercise if he was feeling this way, try to find a healthy vent, but he couldn’t think of anything but Yuuri. He glanced down at his lips and then kissed him. He instantly felt better. Yuuri’s lips were slack against his for a second before he caught up and started kissing him back enthusiastically.

That hadn’t been the response Yuuri expected, but he’d never turn Victor down. So, he threw himself at the priest enthusiastically, wrapping his legs around Victor’s waist as the other man’s hands dropped to his ass in order to hold him up. Hungrily, Yuuri licked into Victor’s mouth and ran his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair, tugging at the strands desperately.

“Mmmm, fuck, yes,” Victor moaned as he walked the two of them into the bedroom. He threw Yuuri down on the bed and lifted his robes. He didn’t hesitate to drop his trousers and grab his dick. “I want… I want you to finger yourself open in front of me. I want to watch you fuck yourself ready for my cock.” His face flamed as he said it, but he didn’t even care, he just wanted Yuuri.

Something in Victor’s voice told Yuuri now was not the time for teasing or messing around. So, the younger man quickly unzipped his jeans and pushed them down to his knees along with his pants. Then, he grabbed what was left of the oil in the bedroom from their first time and coated his fingers in it. He knelt and pushed his chest into the mattress before reaching behind and rubbing two slick fingers along his ass hole.

“Holy shit, baby, this feels so good,” he moaned, his eyes closed as ecstasy flitted across his sensitive skin. Feeling brave, Yuuri dipped his forefinger inside and let out a gasp at how cold the oil was on his hot, throbbing insides. “God, I wish you were inside me already…”

“Patience. I’ll fuck you when I’m ready,” he replied, stepping forward and smacking Yuuri’s exposed ass lightly but hard enough to make him jump.

The sharp sting of pain mixed with the pleasure of his finger buried in his ass made Yuuri moan like the filthy whore he was. “You’re so hot, Father,” Yuuri mumbled, lost in pleasure. “Punish me. I’ve been such a bad boy.” As he spoke, Yuuri slipped a second finger inside and began to stretch his rim, groaning at the beautiful pressure it created.

Victor felt like he was on fire as he watched the teenager play with his ass. Even though it was him that had asked for it, he didn’t realise how hot he would find it. He was struggling to keep his composure. He wanted nothing more than to bury himself into Yuuri’s pink little hole but he knew that he would hurt him with his sizeable girth. So instead, he took his frustration out on Yuuri’s ass, and more confidently, he brought his palm down against Yuuri’s red-marked ass cheek.

“You’ve got a filthy mouth, Mr Katsuki, speaking to a Father that way,” he said, and then spanked him particularly roughly.

A loud gasp escaped Yuuri’s lips, but he didn’t relent. If anything, Yuuri was playing with his ass more excitedly and feverishly, desperate to please Victor and to make himself ready as soon as possible for that heavenly cock. “I told you, I’m a naughty boy, Father,” Yuuri responded as he finally slipped a third finger inside himself and buried them down as far as they would reach.

“Mmm, you definitely deserve to be punished…” Victor licked his lips, his hand stroking his cock as he watched Yuuri finger his hole open. He rubbed over the sensitive, pink skin of where he had spanked Yuuri and stroked the marks lovingly. “Your ass looks so beautifully pink.” He surprised Yuuri by pressing his fingers around Yuuri’s rim as he sunk his fingers inside, and as Yuuri gasped, the touch stilling, Victor pushed a finger inside Yuuri alongside the ones that were already there.

“Oh my God, I’m so full,” Yuuri whimpered as he began to rock his ass back on his own three fingers and one of Victor’s, practically fucking himself on them. “I’m ready for you now, Victor. Please, take out all your frustration on me. Use me to make yourself feel better.”

Victor was still fully dressed, his robes hiked up to his waist and his cock jutting out from his open slacks, but he didn’t waste precious time to remove them, instead he smacked Yuuri’s hand away and then pushed his cock inside him. Victor moaned as he was engulfed by Yuuri’s tight heat. “Gonna fuck you so good, I want you coming on my dick,” he groaned and thrust into him hard.

Yuuri struggled to stay upright as he was fucked over the bed, his glasses bouncing off his face from the force of Victor’s thrusts. His hands fisted into the sheets beneath him and he tried to push his ass back into each and every one of Victor’s relentless movements. He could hear the lewd sound of his lover’s balls smacking against his ass as Victor pounded him into the mattress and Yuuri loved every second of it.

The younger man could feel his balls tightening, his stomach tensing as his orgasm grew nearer and nearer. If Victor kept up his punishing pace, Yuuri knew he wouldn’t last long at all. “Please, Victor, don’t stop…” he pleaded.

The priest was only encouraged by his words and he shifted his stance slightly, leaning forward so he could slam into Yuuri at a deeper angle. “Mmm, fuck, that’s it, Yuuri, moan for me. I want to hear you scream. Do I make you feel good?”

“Yes, Victor,” Yuuri cried, his face buried in the pillows now as his arms struggled to hold him up under Victor’s continuous onslaught. “You make me feel i-incredible… Please, I love you so much, don’t ever stop. I need you.” Yuuri’s arm went behind him and his hand grasped desperately for Victor, to touch any part of him that he could reach. His fingers found Victor’s shoulder and he held on tight.

Victor gripped at Yuuri hard as he felt his orgasm slam into him with no notice. He ground his hips against Yuuri’s ass as he filled him with come, flooding his ass with stream after stream of come. “Yes, fuck,” he moaned loudly as he rode his orgasm and whimpered as he felt Yuuri tighten painfully around him as the younger man started to convulse.

“Victor!” Yuuri screamed as he came, his ass warm and wet from his lover’s come and his prostate overstimulated. The sheets beneath him became sticky and white, but Yuuri didn’t care. A calming sense of satisfaction washed over him and he pulled forward to let Victor’s softened cock fall out of his ass before he rolled over onto his back.

“Feel any better?” he asked his boyfriend weakly as he panted.

Victor laughed.

***

A few days later, the two men were curled up on the sofa. Yuuri sat with his head on Victor's chest. The teenager had been turning thoughts around in his mind all day, thinking about Victor and what their relationship would be like in the future and he found that it really bothered him. Victor never really spoke of the future, he seemed quite content to carry on as they were. But the longer Yuuri stayed in Russia, the more he was reminded that he was a failed dancer and now was bussing tables. It wasn’t what he wanted from life.

Yuuri had a few options for what could happen with his life next, but he wasn't really sure what he wanted. All he knew was that he didn’t want to stay living in St Petersburg where he could only hide who he was. It felt like lying. He couldn't help but say something. “Victor, let's move to Japan,” he whispered shyly.

Victor slowly turned to the young man feeling a bit gobsmacked at the suggestion. “Japan? I don't speak a word of Japanese.” Victor laughed. “Plus, I can't just pack up and move it's not that easy,” he explained. “What's brought this on, are you homesick?”

“A little,” Yuuri admitted, playing with his fingers in a nervous gesture. “Besides I don't speak hardly any Russian and… You know… We can't be free here like I want to be.”

Victor sat up and looked at Yuuri. “You speak Russian just fine,” Victor replied with a frown. “What do you mean we can’t be free?” he asked. For some reason, Victor felt like he wanted some space between the two of them and he pulled out of Yuuri’s embrace feeling uncomfortable.

“I can’t walk down the street holding your hand is what I mean,” Yuuri retorted, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. “And I don’t have anything keeping me here anymore. I’ve saved up enough money to move back home.”

Victor’s heart felt like it was breaking and he stared at Yuuri in shock. “What do you mean?” he gasped, taking a deep breath as he felt his heart start to palpitate in his chest and a feeling of dread seemed to creep under his skin, tainting his body with a dark emotion. “Don’t I make you happy?” he asked, as he could feel his eyes filling with tears. “You said I was enough…”

All the doubts that Victor had been having at the start of their delicate relationship seemed to all flood back. The words Yuuri had spoken seemed to echo in the priest’s mind. I don’t have anything keeping me here… Well, what about me? Victor had naively given Yuuri his heart. Maybe this had all been a mistake.

“Of course you make me happy,” Yuuri assured him with a shake of his head. “That’s not what I mean, I just…” He took a deep breath. “I told you before I was sick of hiding and lying about who I am. Here, I could be arrested just for being myself. I don’t feel safe here anymore, especially not since I know now… I know I can’t go back to hiding it again. These last few weeks with you have been so incredible that I couldn’t give that up. I want you to come with me. I want us to be happy.”

The unshed tears fell from Victor’s eyes and he hid his face in his hands. “Yuuri, I warned you. I was so clear with you about this. I can’t just pack up my life. I have a duty to God, to the church. I can’t just leave, I have to go where the Clergy tells me. I’ve lived in Russia my whole life. I can't just go, nor do I want to. This is my home.”

“I know,” Yuuri began, crying now. “We’ve talked time and time again about what you want and what’s important to you.” The young Japanese man stood up now, his hands balling into fists. “I’ve tried to show you I’d do anything to be with you. But when it comes down to anything I want, there’s never any room to argue.”

Yuuri turned away from Victor, rubbing his hands over his eyes to try and wipe away the tears. “I know that if I don’t try to fit into the tiny sliver of your life that you’ve opened up to me, then I get pushed away.” He scoffed and threw his hands into the air. “I would do anything for you, Victor, but it’s pretty damn clear that you won’t do the same for me. Maybe you should just… just go.”

Victor didn’t know what to say. He wanted to tell Yuuri that he would do anything for him, he wanted to want that, but it would be a lie. God would always come first to Victor. God was his Father, his Savior, his best friend, and though he loved Yuuri, the space in Victor’s heart would always be dominated by the Lord. Yuuri had managed to take a place there too but had assumed that Yuuri truly understood his love for his religion.

“I don’t understand where this is coming from, Yuuri. I’m a priest . I’ve already given you so, so much. I never thought I would… do those things with a man, I've given you everything that I can.” Victor was opening sobbing now. He felt so stupid. He was humiliated. He stood up as panic flooded his body and he gripped at his rosary desperately praying that Yuuri would see sense.

Seeing Victor so distraught made something in Yuuri’s chest shatter. “I… I know,” Yuuri agreed, taking a step forward to his beloved. “I didn’t think about all this. I didn’t think about how things might change between us. I thought I could understand you, but I just don’t. Maybe if I cared as much about God as you did… My grandma tried, but I’ve just never really believed in it all. It’s hard to understand that you would love an imaginary person more than your boyfriend.”

Victor’s eyes widened at Yuuri’s spiteful and blasphemous words and he felt like he had been slapped. He could hardly believe what he was hearing. He had never felt such betrayal and it felt like it was breaking him. He had thought he knew Yuuri, but clearly, it had all been a lie.

“I’m leaving, I have to go,” Victor said before he could say something that he shouldn’t.

“Wait, Victor,” Yuuri called, reaching out and grabbing his lover’s hand tight. “I don’t want it to end like this.”

Victor yanked his hand back, he felt like he had been burned. “I can’t believe I fell for you,” he sobbed. “I thought you understood me. I’m so embarrassed. I let you touch me, I said so many wrong things, I did so many wrong things…” He felt sick. “I let you break my vows but I thought it was okay because you loved me… Clearly, I was wrong.” Victor was shaking.  “Please, just leave me be.”

“If you still think anything that happened between us was wrong then you should go,” Yuuri spat, enraged by the priest’s attitude. He turned away from him and waited for the telltale sound of the door opening and closing before he broke down into tears.

***

Instead of going home, Victor went to the church, he sat in one of the pews at the back, tears pouring down his face for a long time as he stared at the stained glass windows. He felt like a fool. It was like there was a hole in his chest. Victor had never felt such pain.

He had always assumed that Yuuri’s relationship with God was similar to his own, but the words he had said, imaginary friend, they stung Victor deep. To Victor, God was not imaginary, he was everything, everywhere, eternal and all-loving, all-supporting and he was there for VIctor when no-one else was. When his parents had died, the Lord had been his saviour, his salvation. Without God, he never would have been raised in such a wonderful orphanage, surrounded by nuns who loved him and guided him, who taught him the ways of life.

He had thought he understood Yuuri, but it seemed he had been blind. Victor had made a mistake. He should never have listened to his feelings regarding men. It was a sin. Now he was being punished and he deserved it. Victor climbed to his knees and clasped his hands together as he prayed, wishing that it didn’t hurt so much and knowing that despite knowing it would end this way, he would do it all over again.

***

Coming away from their argument, Yuuri felt awful. He hadn’t really meant half of the things he’d said, he just wanted Victor to put him first sometimes. It was hard to always feel like a second thought, especially when Yuuri didn’t have anything to compare with. He wasn’t half as passionate about anything like Victor was about his religion.

In an effort to try to understand his boyfriend a little better, Yuuri began to research more information concerning Catholicism, it’s teachings regarding homosexuality, and the diocese view on gay priests. What he’d read wholly didn’t look very good and it made Yuuri’s heart drop. While Victor might feel this way now, would he truly pick Yuuri if it came down to a choice between his lover and his faith? Yuuri seriously doubted it.

Still, he hadn’t given up hope not just yet.

After some extensive research and some deep digging through internet forums and social media sites over the next few days, Yuuri found a support group for gay members of the Catholic church. Purportedly, it had been set up by an actual Catholic priest who went unnamed for obvious reasons. Yuuri found himself typing out a message before he could stop himself.

InLoveWithACatholicBoy

4:29pm

First time posting, so let me know if I break any rules I don’t know about.

At the moment, I’m dating someone heavily involved in the Catholic church and we’re living in Russia which, as you might have guessed, makes being together extremely hard. Does anyone have any tips for a hopeless atheist in love with a gay Catholic man in Russia who doesn’t even understand Christianity properly?

Any help would be truly appreciated.

- Y

He’d thought it was a shot in the dark, but within hours, replies were flooding in. Yuuri read every response meticulously and took note of their insight into the importance a lot of members of their faith put into their religion. One message in particular stuck out to him:

It’s not only a belief about a silly made up deity with silly made up stories, it’s a religion with a moral and ethical code to live your life by. Imagine being told that kissing a man all your life is wrong and disgusting. Then imagine believing you will burn in hell for it. Despite the fact that you’ve obeyed all the other rules and you believe yourself to be a good person, that one (admittedly out-dated and ridiculous) rule will stick with you for a long time. Faith is what gets people through their hardest times, Y, it’s the entire structure by which your boyfriend will have lived their life until they’ve met you. It’s not an easy thing to forget.’

With those words to guide him, Yuuri tried to put himself in Victor’s shoes. He reasoned with himself that whilst he felt strongly for Victor, they had only actually been together for a few months compared to Victor’s many years believing in Christianity. Perhaps, he had acted too rashly and not truly considered everything that Victor had risked to be with him. It was hard at the young age of nineteen with little experience in romance to fully comprehend just how much Victor had tried for him, but Yuuri did his best.

Once he thought he understood the situation a little better, Yuuri picked up the phone and texted Victor. If nothing else, he could at least introduce Victor to the online support group to help him cope with his sexuality, regardless of whether he wanted anything to do with Yuuri or not.

I was out of line. I found something I think would be good for you… Or us, if you still want me. Can I come over? - Your Yuuri x

***

Victor felt like he was going through the motions of life. It was like he was watching himself from the outside. His heart was just not there anymore. He hadn’t ever realised how miserable he had been until Yuuri was gone. He was back to doing the day to day maintenance of the church by himself, with no-one but his staff to keep him company. There was no-one to love and cherish in the evening, aside from Makkachin, who waited by the door at night for Yuuri to come and visit her. But of course, he never did.

He had turned things around in his head so many times, thinking about how things might be different, but no matter how he looked at it, he just wasn't sure how to fix it. He had thought about messaging Yuuri so many times but he wasn’t even sure what to say. What Yuuri wanted from him felt like so much, he wished he could give it to him, but he wasn’t sure if he could. But then at the same time, he wasn't sure if he could carry on like this. He prayed and prayed that something would change, that he would find a way to be with Yuuri and to give him all the things he wanted. He should have been repenting, he should have been asking for forgiveness. He should have reached out to another priest for guidance in this moment of weakness, yet Victor suffered in silence and was too afraid to admit what he had done and where he had gone wrong. No priest was going to tell him to run back into Yuuri’s arms like he wanted to.

In an ideal world, he wanted things to just be easy. He wanted Yuuri to come back and apologise, and he wanted to say sorry to Yuuri in turn, but he wasn’t sure where to start or even what to say. He didn’t want to apologise for who he was, but he did want to say sorry for making Yuuri cry. It wasn’t his proudest moment. He sometimes forgot how young the other man was, and Victor tried to remember how huge things were when he was nineteen. It was difficult being a teenager, and a large part of that age was learning who you were and finding your feet in the world. Victor should have been guiding Yuuri, but he had been selfish. It was no wonder Yuuri was so frustrated with him and had snapped at him. He guessed Yuuri might have said more than a few things he didn’t mean. He had too.

So, Victor sat on his bed, the cottage silent around him as he stared at his phone and wished things were different. He missed Yuuri so much. He tortured himself scrolling through his pictures, looking at the selfies they had taken and the candid shots he had managed to get of Yuuri. He was so in love with this man. His heart ached. He felt so incredibly lost without him. He had made things so much clearer and brighter. Everyone made mistakes, but this still felt raw. Victor wasn’t sure if he should swallow his pride and go back to him. He wasn't sure what the right thing to do was.

Victor pulled himself onto his knees and into a familiar position he liked to pray in, his phone laid in front of him on his blanket. Victor looked up as he clasped his hands together. “Please, please, just give me a sign. What should  I do?” he begged. He was desperate for guidance from the Lord. He needed a sign, just something, anything, that would confirm that he should follow his heart like his body and mind like his very being was making believe.

It was at that moment that Victor’s phone lit up. He scrambled to grab it and open the notification. It was from Yuuri. “Oh, thank you,” Victor gasped. He was instantly flooded with relief. “Thank you,” he repeated, so very grateful that God had answered his prayer. He glanced upwards and then gripped his rosary just before he opened the message. He reread it several times and gathered his courage before typing out, I’m home. The door’s open.

***

The way to Victor’s house was practically imprinted on Yuuri’s brain despite the fact he hadn’t been there in almost a week now. As he approached the little cottage door, Yuuri hesitated for a moment. He stood still on the cobblestone path and took a deep breath. If he went through those doors, he could just be opening a whole new pain for himself, cutting open wounds he’d been trying to close the last few days… But he had to try.

So, Yuuri steeled himself and walked up before tapping the wooden door with his knuckles. He immediately heard a familiar bark and smiled. He’d missed Makkachin.

Though Victor had told Yuuri the door was open, and he had planned to wait for him to enter unassisted, he had been waiting by the door, desperate to see Yuuri and to hear what he had to say. Makkachin barked a few seconds before the door knocked. He had thought ahead and shut him in the bedroom as although the poodle would make a nice distraction from the situation, he wanted Yuuri to himself and with no distractions. Victor instantly pulled the door open. His breath caught in his throat and for a second he didn’t know what to say as Yuuri stood at stared at him. It was so good to see him that he couldn’t help but step forward and jump into his arms.

Surprised, Yuuri stiffened and his jaw dropped open. He honestly hadn’t been expecting that. Before Victor could take it as a rejection, however, Yuuri wrapped his arms around the man in front of him. He felt familiar and something in Yuuri’s chest seemed to settle almost instantly.

“I’ve missed you,” Yuuri confessed.

Victor clutched at him, unsure if he could express to Yuuri what he was feeling. “I… Please?” he asked, not even sure what he was asking for until he dragged Yuuri inside the open doorway and pulled their lips together. He pressed him into the door frame, uncaring that he was kissing him outside his house. If anyone was to walk past on the grounds or to visit Victor, then they would undoubtedly see the two of them.

Yuuri couldn’t resist kissing him back, tasting his lover for the first time in far too long, but still, something was playing on his mind and he pulled away far quicker than he wanted. “We need to talk,” he whispered urgently before glancing into the grounds.

Victor faltered for a second and then he nodded. He stepped back, letting Yuuri through the door. He clicked it shut behind him and the two of them walked to the kitchen out of habit.

For a moment, all Yuuri could do was shift his weight from one foot to the other as he tried to think of the best way to broach the awkward subject. “I… I said some things I regret when we fought the other day,” he began in a quiet voice. “I’m sorry, I know I hurt you.”

Victor nodded slowly and swallowed thickly as a lump developed in his throat. “I… I know you never meant to hurt me.” He had known that but that hadn’t stopped the feeling of betrayal from Yuuri’s words and he was still deeply hurt by them, but that didn’t mean that he didn't want to forgive Yuuri and that he didn’t understand that he had been upset.

“I also made a lot of mistakes with you Yuuri, I realise now that I should have taken your age into consideration, you're bound to get upset about these things as you have much less life experience than someone my age, I’m 28, Yuuri, and have figured things out… Or at least, I thought I did.” |Victor sighed. He wasn’t sure what was right and wrong anymore. “I don't mean it in a bad way,” he hurried to say as he realised how that could have sounded, “but I just sometimes forget how young you are, my darling, and that’s my fault. I don’t mean it in a patronising way, so I hope you can understand what I’m trying to say. I don't have the answers, but I thought about what you said and I want to try and be better for you. I'm not quite sure how to do that, but I know I want this,” he said sincerely. “This past week has been awful without you.” He didn’t think he could survive another week like this one.

The response wasn’t exactly what Yuuri had been hoping for. A naive, hopeless part of his heart wanted Victor to offer to give it all up if only to be with Yuuri. He knew that was selfish, however, and something he would never agree to. “I think I just need to know I come first sometimes,” Yuuri replied, looking down at the floor. “I want to know you’ll prioritise me when it matters and I don’t want us to have to hide our relationship forever. I’m not saying we need to deal with all of these things now, but this is what I want for the future.” Yuuri paused. “Do you think you can do that?”

Victor listened to Yuuri's words eagerly. It was nice for them to have such an honest conversation. “I… I want to give you a future” he replied honestly. “With me... I want to make you happy. I don't want this to end. We can fix this as long as you promise that you want to try too.” He had never meant something as much as that.

“But… you can't fall in love with me as a priest and then try to change it. I'm proud to be a priest. It felt like you were trying to take that from me, even if you didn't mean to.” He looked at Yuuri's sad face and he wanted nothing more than to hold him again but he resisted. Yuuri was right, this conversation was long overdue.

“Because I overlooked your age I didn't think about what you might want in the future. Only that my livelihood is here. But you're a dancer, a wonderful one, you can’t stay here forever. You need to go and fulfil your dreams too. If we're going to make this work then something huge has to change. I'm just not sure how or why we're going to do, Yuuri. I feel like everything I know is changing.” Victor swiped his hand across his face a few stray tears fell, his frustration, confusion and the enormity of this getting the better of him. “ I don't want to go back to how it was before. I need you. I love you so much.”

Touched by Victor’s words, Yuuri closed the gap between them and cupped Victor’s face gently. “I don’t want to change you. I fell in love with you for who you are, exactly who you are, priesthood and all. But I’m also human and selfish. Can you blame me for wanting you all to myself?” He smiled in his lover’s direction and Victor shook his head. He didn’t blame Yuuri, he was human. They both were. “But there’s no going back for me. I want you. I love you. I can’t live without you. I want to try to make this work.”

Victor gripped Yuuri and nodded, resting his forehead against the other man's as he felt himself getting overly emotional and he wasn’t sure how to handle it. “That's good because Makkachin missed you so much. She hasn’t stopped whining the whole time you’ve been gone. I had to shut her in the bedroom.” He let out a small laugh as he tried to change the atmosphere.

“I missed Makkachin a lot too,” Yuuri replied, swiping at the moisture at the edge of his eyes before letting out a relieved chuckle. “So, we’re okay? We’re going to be okay?”

Victor nodded. “It won't be perfect right away, but we're going to figure it out together.” He looked at Yuuri sincerely. “Even if we have to leave Russia…” He'd thought about it a lot and he loved living here, Russia was his home, but if it meant no Yuuri then he'd rather leave and never come back.

“I'll have to learn another language though because as rubbish you say your Russian is, you're perfect compared to me trying to speak anything else.”

“Really?” Yuuri looked at Victor with narrowed eyes. “You’d really leave Russia?”

“I mean, not right this second, if that happens we'd have a million things to discuss but I'm not going to dismiss the idea like I did before. It was wrong of me to be so black and white about this. I knew what I was getting into when I let this start, I knew it was going to change everything and it was the right decision to make. These past few months with you have been amazing. I almost wish I was a woman or something, then we could get married. Things could be simple. But then, I don’t actually want to be a woman. Do you understand what I’m saying, or am I completely insane?”

“I get it, Victor,” Yuuri told him with a nod. “I’m blown away that you’d even consider leaving Russia for me, I never wanted you to say we had to do it right this second. I just wanted you to see why it might be good for you… for us.” That reminded him of something and Yuuri pulled out his phone. “Speaking of good for us, I found this website I think you should join.” He brought up the webpage for the forum and turned his phone to Victor. “What do you think?”

Victor took the phone and looked at it confused. “What is this?” he asked, feeling a little naive. He really wasn’t the biggest interest user, he didn’t even own a computer. He scrolled down but he couldn’t understand what he was reading.

“Well, it’s like an online support group,” Yuuri told him, his expression hopeful as he watched carefully for Victor’s reaction. “A support group for gay Catholics…”

Victor couldn’t mask his shock. “There are more people like us?” he asked. He looked through the pages, clicking into the FAQ. “Is… is this real?” Victor obviously knew there were other gay Catholics, but he had never encountered any that were living that lifestyle.

“Real enough to get some answers and advice,” Yuuri told him with a timid smile. “I posted about us on there, anonymously of course, and they were really helpful and friendly. I just… I thought it might give you some comfort to talk to others about, well, everything.”

Victor was so grateful to Yuuri and for a moment he wasn’t sure how to express his thanks. “That’s such a wonderful gesture. Yuuri, this makes me so happy,” he said. “You did this for us?” he asked. “I… thank you, sweetheart. This is so much… What… What did they say? Are there other couples like us?”

“More than you’d think,” Yuuri answered with a nod. “A lot of them have some great insight into the teachings regarding homosexuality, I didn’t understand a lot of it, but I thought I could set you up an account and maybe you can talk with them? I just want you to be happy.”

Victor wasn’t sure what to say. It felt like a lot of information. It was exactly what he had been waiting for, a sign, something to show him that this was okay, and Yuuri had managed to find other people like him, good Catholic people who just so happened to be gay too. Yuuri had done something amazing, completely life changing. Victor was going to accept Yuuri’s help and he was definitely going to contact some of the members on the site. “I would be so grateful if you could help me. Thank you for this. It means so much.”

“You’re welcome, baby, it’s the least I could do for the man I love,” Yuuri replied simply.

The words soothed Victor’s aching heart and the last of his uncertainty and pain seemed to vanish. Victor nodded, touched by the words and placed Yuuri’s phone on the counter, before stepping forward and pulling Yuuri into another hug. “It feels so good to have you back. I’m so sorry.” He buried his face into Yuuri’s neck, comforted by the familiar smell and feel of the other man pressed against him. He placed a loving kiss to his neck.

Yuuri shivered at the touch to his sensitive skin and let out a small breathy moan. It had been so long since he had been near Victor like this. He didn’t realise he would miss it so much. “I’m sorry too,” Yuuri told him with a sincere smile before leaning back a little and pressing his own lips to Victor’s, a little fearful and hopeful at the same time.

Victor accepted Yuuri’s kiss and he couldn’t stop the groan of pleasure that erupted from him. “I love you so much,” he mumbled before diving straight back in for a kiss. Yuuri’s lips were so soft and Victor gripped at his face, eager for more kisses. He walked Yuuri backwards until his ass hit against the kitchen side. Desperate and dizzy with arousal and happiness, Victor grabbed Yuuri’s thighs and hoisted him up onto the side.

“Fuck,” the younger man cursed breathily as he leaned his head back and allowed Victor to devour his neck. “God, I’ve missed this so much.” He wrapped his legs around Victor’s waist and pulled him in closer. “Please let’s not be apart from each other ever again.”

“Never. It was torture,” Victor agreed before biting into Yuuri’s neck. His hands were still on the teenagers thighs, and he moved them back, gripping at his ass instead. He pulled Yuuri against him, needing him to be ever closer. He gripped Yuuri’s hair, pulling it back sharply. “I need you so bad,” Victor groaned.

“I’m here, I’m right here,” Yuuri reminded Victor in a soft, gentle voice, making shushing sounds as he leaned forward to kiss him once more. He reached down between them to begin unbuttoning Victor’s shirt while casting a hesitant glance at his lover, hoping that he was on the same page as the priest.

Victor hurriedly pulled on his clothes, helping Yuuri to remove his shirt, he threw it to the kitchen floor uncaringly and then his hands tugged at Yuuri’s clothes. “I need you naked,” he gasped. “I wanna fuck you right here.”

“H-here? Really?” Yuuri asked, his eyes wide and his heart racing. The thought of Victor wanting him so badly he didn’t even want to bother moving to the bedroom made his cock twitch. So, he shrugged off his jacket and then reached down and pulled his jumper up and off his head. “You can have me however you want me, Victor.”

Victor nodded and pulled Yuuri forward, grinding his already hard cock against Yuuri’s crotch. “You make me so desperate for you, feel how hard you make me.” He grabbed Yuuri by the hair again, yanking him into a bruising kiss. His hands found their way to Yuuri’s jeans and he fumbled to get the zip open.

“Yes, Victor,” Yuuri moaned, his eyes shut in ecstasy. “I love it when you get nice and hard for me. Are you going to fuck me real good, Victor?” Yuuri kissed his boyfriend’s lips once more before catching the bottom one in between his teeth. Then, he lifted his ass up off the counter so Victor could slide his jeans and underwear off. His bare skin was cold against the countertop and it made Yuuri shiver.

Victor nodded at Yuuri’s words, drinking them all up. “Turn around,” he said, before roughly forcing the teenager around, he kicked his legs apart. Victor reached up to the cupboard and grabbed the new container of coconut oil. “Open it,” he ordered before he dropped to his knees. He grabbed Yuuri’s ass firmly and spread his cheeks, burying his face into Yuuri’s ass.

All of Yuuri’s concentration went out of the window, his hands faltered on the lid of the jar and he bent forward across the counter, gripping it to help keep him upright. “Victor… Oh my God…” Yuuri whimpered in between moans as he felt his lover’s tongue press into the most intimate part of him. “You drive me crazy…”

Victor wasn’t listening, he was lost in a haze of desire for Yuuri. He moaned as he fucked his tongue deep inside the teenager, making him soppy wet from his tongue. “You taste amazing, I fucking love your ass,” he moaned. He pulled away, spreading Yuuri’s hole and watching at it twitched. He licked it slowly, running his tongue over the muscle slowly and then dipping it inside.

Yuuri howled at the feeling. He’d missed being this close and intimate with his lover, the pleasure was unlike anything he’d ever felt before. “Please, Victor, I need you inside me,” he moaned as his hands finally fumbled with the jar, opening the oil, and passing it behind him. “Please,” he begged.

Victor grabbed the jar and dipped his fingers into it. He wasted no time pushing a slick finger into Yuuri’s eager hole. He opened up beautifully, his ass welcoming Victor’s touch and throbbing from need. Victor groaned as he watched his finger disappear into Yuuri’s tight little hole over and over.

In return, Yuuri relaxed against the cool countertop and spread his legs a little wider, accommodating Victor’s touch. He impatiently rocked his hips back until the other man added another finger and stretched him wide. “I want your cock, Victor,” Yuuri pleaded, his voice wrecked and wanton. “It’s been so long. Please don’t make me wait any longer…”

“But you sound so pretty when you beg,” Victor replied, though he couldn’t resist. He stood and pulled out his aching cock, rubbing the head against Yuuri’s hole. “Are you stretched enough?” he asked, kissing at the back of Yuuri’s neck.

“No, but I wanna feel you, feel your cock stretching me out, baby,” Yuuri whimpered as he rubbed his ass back against that thick cock. “Please, I want you so bad…”

Victor bit into the side of his neck, unable to stop the grin on his face. “Greedy boy, I don’t know if you can take my big dick,” Victor whispered dirtily against his skin. “I’ll have to fuck you slow and gentle.”

“Fuck me slow or fast, I don’t care, just fuck me… Please,” Yuuri continued to beg, his voice strained as he rubbed his slick and throbbing hole over the fat head of Victor’s cock again. He was desperate to feel that incredible connection between them once again after going without it for so long. The teenager thought he might explode if Victor didn’t fuck him right here and right now. He was dying for it.

Victor took pity on him and lined up, slowly pushing his cock inside. He moaned, gripping at Yuuri with a bruising touch as he resisted slamming into the tight, wet heat. “I love you,” he whispered as he bottomed out, his hard cock buried deep inside Yuuri and leaving him panting against his skin.

All of the air rushed out of Yuuri’s lungs as he felt himself filled up with Victor’s sweet cock. He let out a loud cry, gripping the edges of the counter as Victor pushed him down across it. His face was pressed tight against the cool surface and he groaned. “Fuck, yes, Victor,” Yuuri rambled, overwhelmed with desire. “Take me, please.” He pressed his ass back into Victor’s hips, encouraging small circular motions which made his toes curl.

The priest moaned, Yuuri felt so tight around him and he felt a rush of emotion as he listened to Yuuri’s responses. He took in each gasp and cry and tried to memorise the way he moaned Victor’s name. He fucked him slow and deep, pressing inside him hard and against his sweet spot repeatedly. He ran his hand down his hip, grabbing Yuuri’s cock where it hung hard and wet between his legs, bouncing with each thrust. He jerked him off slowly, his hand a tight vice around the swollen flesh and moving in time with each thrust.

It was slow and desperate, but it was all Yuuri needed. Within minutes of the repeated pressure to his prostate and his cock, Yuuri was spilling his come all over Victor’s kitchen cupboards and slumping forwards. His whole body felt drained of energy yet it tingled with contentment and he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face.

Victor moaned as he felt Yuuri’s orgasm, his ass contracting and throbbing around his cock. He rolled his hips, pressing his cock against Yuuri’s prostate as his come dripped down Victor’s hand.

“S-sorry,” Yuuri stuttered, turning his head to get a glimpse of his beautiful lover. “It’s been a w-while… obviously.”

Victor merely kissed down his neck in response, his cock still buried deep. “Where do you want my come, darling, in your ass, or on your pretty face?” he asked, still rocking softly into Yuuri. He was so hard and he wanted to come so badly.

“Oh God, my face please, Victor,” Yuuri whined in response, letting out quiet gasps as Victor’s cock still rubbed against his insides.

Victor moaned and gently pulled out. He gripped his dick tightly as he stepped back from the side. “On your knees, sweetheart,” he panted, biting into his lip. He felt like he was going to explode any second.

As soon as Victor’s heat was gone from behind him and Yuuri’s ass throbbed around nothing, the teenager turned and dropped down to the floor. He wriggled a little, trying to get comfortable on the tile floor, before sitting back on his heels. He looked up at Victor with excitement sparkling in his eyes before pulling at Victor’s thighs until the other man moved closer.

“Fuck,” the older man cursed. “You’re so fucking beautiful…” He gripped Yuuri’s hair, holding him in place as he started to jerk himself off above Yuuri’s face. His eyes devoured Yuuri’s skin, his pink nipples and his softening cock, the way he was covered in his own come and looking up at Victor so innocently like he wasn’t just about to let the priest come all over his face.

It took seconds and he pulled Yuuri’s hair, forcing him forward as his orgasm ripped through him and he came, come splattering over the teenager's face and against his open lips. Victor moaned, unable to stop himself as he rubbed the sensitive head of his cock against Yuuri’s bottom lip. “Lick it off.”

Obediently, Yuuri’s tongue darted out to lap indulgently at the white droplets of spunk around Victor’s flushed red head. He swallowed it down and moaned at the taste before reaching a finger up to run through the come on his face before pushing it in between his lips and drinking that down too.

Vkusno ,” Yuuri said, his eyes burning with desire as he watched Victor unflinchingly.

Victor’s face flushed red and he dropped to his knees. “How is it that you bring out this side to me?” he said, nuzzling into Yuuri and then kissing him deeply, enjoying the intimacy of their shared touches, of doing something so naughty together and it not mattering because they loved each other. Victor lovingly stroked Yuuri’s face. “I hope I wasn’t too rough with you, sweetheart,” he said, kissing him again.

“No, you were perfect,” Yuuri told him in between loving kisses. “Cuddle with me on the couch?”

“I have plans for you, young man,” Victor whispered back. “Come to bed.”

“Whatever you say, Father,” Yuuri replied with a scandalous wink before following the man he loved to wherever he asked him. It would be that way for the rest of their lives.

THE END