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Fingergunnin’

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"Hey, Babe, quick question. What is your opinion on finger guns?"

Suvi blinks slowly from her tablet to focus on her girlfriend and current human pathfinder fidgeting on the bridge of the Tempest. She has to disengage hard to go from her report on Meridian flora to the weird places Ryder's brain is sometimes going.

"As a possibility to develop for uses in a fight? Or as the cheesy move abused in bad flirt techniques?" Mordin grimaces and Suvi knows they're discussing the second option.

The pathfinder bravely continues. "Well, sure it's cheesy but isn't it also sexy when you're confident to do it even if you KNOW it's a little ‘cringy’?"

"As in, what if YOU do it anyway?"

 "Nope, not me!" Ryder shouts triumphal. "It's Reyes! The guy got a bad case of the awful one liners but it somewhat works, you know?"

Suvi smiles fondly and continues to tease her girlfriend. "So, you think Reyes is sexy? Isn't that why the moves works?"

"No! Yes? Suvi, that's mean. You know I'm weak to beautiful people!" She darts quickly to kiss her hair and backs away grinning out of range.

Suvi pouts mockingly. "You're the worst. We discussed no kissing on the clock. Kallo is awkward after. And your lines are definitely cheesy too."

Kallo carefully doesn't look in their directions and answers quietly. "Please don't involve me in this..."

Of course Ryder smirks manically and saunters to the pilot's side. "Soooo, Kallo. Your opinion. Don't you think I'm the coolest cat of the entire galaxy? I'm über cool, I'm badass, and I got the perfect nerd girlfriend to prove I'm awesome at the flirt thing!”

But it's Gil who responds on the Tempest radio. "Ryder, you're a dork, you're a sarcasm machine with a blow things first and think later tendency so... Don't push yourself."

"Gil, my poker buddy, you wound me! It's a known fact that I'm cool. I'm calling a meeting right now. I need to know. Who's there? What do you have to say about my awesome sense of fashion and winning personality?" Mordin is grasping at straws. It would be sad if it wasn't also hilarious to see their fearsome leader trying so hard.

Gil is quick to stab and salt the wound. "You cheat at poker and you're a sore loser." Surprisingly, Jaal is also involved. "Ryder? I have a question. Are there a lot of humans like you or are you an exception?"

Mordin is still glaring after Gil's comment but innocently answers. "I'm unique Jaal, I'm the fantastic ferocious snowflake of humanity!"

Jaal responds with a genuine tone. "Oh, I'm glad. I was worried about human survival as a species."

"You're a bunch of traitors. All of you! It's decided. I'm gonna retire to Kadara and party with the cool people there."

Drack decides to add his parental wisdom. "Kid. Don't hurt yourself. You definitely already head-butted too many Krogan to be that crazy."

Mordin looks back to Suvi, all pouty and whinny and begging for support and Suvi is again blown away by the swell of affection she has for her ridiculous soul mate. And sometimes loving someone means to be honest with them.

“Hey, Babe. You’re my perfect dorky girlfriend but I don’t know if it proves I’m awesome at flirting to be with you.”

Mordin looks crestfallen. Suvi fingerguns in her direction with a 'Bang' and blows on the tip.