Actions

Work Header

flaming hot cheetos

Chapter Text

{5:18AM}

idiot added dad , mom , theprettyone , and 9 others to flaming hot cheetos

idiot: rise n shine fuckers!!!

angery: what,,, is this

dumbar: it is not even 6 am

scarfboy: im goign to strangle u

idiot: with your scarf i bet

sourwolf has left the chat

idiot: not so fast bicth

idiot added sourwolf to the chat

sourwolf has left the chat

idiot added sourwolf to the chat

sourwolf has left the chat

sunshine: stiles blease let me rest

scarfboy: jesus christ you woke up the baby

idiot: o fuck

idiot: im sorry corey!!! ily pls dont tell mason

dumbar: go back to sleep c ill bring u coffee

sunshine: my 1 tru friend

dumbar: everyone stfu until at least 6 thank you

{6:02AM}

idiot to flaming hot cheetos

idiot: wakey wakey!!!

toeh: wtf do you want

dad: stiles why

idiot: YOURE THE ONE THAT SAID WE SHOULD MAKE A GROUP CHAT

idiot: WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING

dad: because people are trying to sleep

idiot: THEY SAID TO WAIT UNTIL 6

angery: y r u yelling

idiot: THIS IS A TEXT

mom: they should probably get up anyway they have school

scarfboy: hah

theprettyone: b nice to the kids

idiot: so ANYWAY welcome to the pack group chat

mom: any reason why you decided to start it at 5:18 am?

idiot: i just love you all sm

scarfboy: i can and will kill u

dad: isaac

scarfboy: what

dad: no

scarfboy: >:(

gayson: hey stiles?

idiot: yes sir

gayson: corey is v grumpy

gayson: n im gonna gut you

idiot: oh my gOD why is everything always MY FAULT

mom: this is entirely your fault

idiot: youre supposed to be on my side!

mom: :)

dumbar: yeah get fucked stiles

dad: language

gayson: corey just threw a sock at me

princess: tell him ill bring him a cinnamon bun

gayson: he apologized

sunshine: thank u hayds

princess: id die for you cor

sunshine: i love u

princess: <3

idiot: disgustang

gayson: hayd pls dont try to steal my boyfriend u already have 2

princess: are you slutshaming me

theprettyone: oK everyone take a deep breath

toeh: leave my fucking gf alone

gayson: imsorry

toeh: thats what i fucking thought

mom: this was a horrible idea

idiot: in my defense

idiot: it was not MY idea

dad:

princess: corey im here come get ur cinnamon bun

sunshine: !!!

sunshine: this is why ily

gayson: what about me??? :((

scarfboy: can yall stop sexting

dumbar: fuck u

scarfboy: i wasnt even fucking talking to you

idiot: i have so many regrets

angery: you should

{7:49AM}

dumbar to flaming hot cheetos

dumbar: i wanna dieeeeee

scarfboy: what could possibly have gone wrong in the 19 minutes youve been in class

dumbar: oh nothing went wrong this just sucks

toeh: want me to come get you

dad: THEO

dumbar: YES

toeh: hayds?

gayson: shes asleep

angery: oh mood

theprettyone: what class are you in?

gayson: english

mom: ooh what’re you reading??

gayson: catcher in the rye

scarfboy: oh that book fucking sucks

angery: ^

toeh: idk i liked it

scarfboy: whY

dumbar: he relates to holden on a personal level

scarfboy: again. Why.

gayson: maybe bc he’s a suicidal liar w/ no friends

angery: holden or theo?

toeh has left the chat

dumbar: :(

dumbar added toeh to the chat

dumbar: stop bullying my bf

toeh: im almost there we’re gonna go get donuts

theprettyone: ooh can i have one?

dumbar: anything for u ally

theprettyone: aw thanks puppy

scarfboy: i want one too

dad: ok i dont approve of leaving school early but i also want a donut

toeh: ill get you a donut scott

scarfboy: what about me

idiot: i just woke up again but i want a donut!

toeh: i guess we can get a donut for stiles

toeh: what do u think liam

scarfboy: whats going on

dumbar: sure we can get stiles a donut even tho he made corey mad

scarfboy: ME TOO??

dumbar: lydia do u want one

mom: oh sure!

scarfboy: DONUT

toeh: im here come on liam

toeh: we’re getting donuts for everyone but isaac

scarfboy: this is biphobia

dumbar: are you fuckign joking

Chapter Text

{11:24AM}

dad to flaming hot cheetos

dad: is everyone free to come over tonight

idiot: absolutely

dad: i knew you were

dad: i meant everyone else

idiot: rude

mom: i can make cookies if you want

idiot: i,,,, love you

mom: i know

theprettyone: yep! what movies are we watching

dad: whose turn is it to pick?

gayson: its coreys turn

scarfboy: not to be homophobic but when is it not coreys turn

gayson: ??? youre literally bi

scarfboy: prove it

gayson: ok?

gayson: [scottandisaacsittinginatree.jpg]

scarfboy has left the chat

mom: so anyway

mom: chocolate chip or snickerdoodles

theprettyone: both!!!!

idiot added scarfboy to the chat

idiot: youre not getting away that easily

scarfboy: youre all lucky i have no other friends

idiot: thats bc ur a bitch

scarfboy: i resent that

idiot changed scarfboy ’s name to bitchboy

dad: can everyone just be nice for one second

idiot: :)

dad: thank you

bitchboy: fuck you stiles idk how to change it back

idiot: hm sux 2 be a little bitch i guess

dad changed bitchboy ’s name to scarfboy

dad: anyway

dad: y’all know the rules, last two to the house have to go buy snacks

princess: no fair i have practice until 5 :(

dumbar: ill wait and be last with you

princess: ok!

idiot: NO

dumbar: y not

angery: bc you stop shopping every 5 seconds to make out

dumbar: we do NOT

scarfboy: #exposed

dumbar: shut up bitch boy

theprettyone: there is so much bullying going on in this chat

mom: be nice or i wont make cookies

idiot: you’d make cookies for me

mom: this is true

dumbar: the favoritism in this family is unreal

angery: she’d def make cookies for u too

mom: pardon me, I would not

dumbar: :(

angery: lydia dont fucking lie

mom: ok i probably would

scarfboy: why does corey get to pick the movie if hes not even answering

angery: did it occur to you that corey might be in class

gayson: hes in ap chem you fuck

dad: wat do you guys have against being nice to each other

scarfboy: oh nothing

scarfboy: this is just way more fun :)

theprettyone: isaac you know i love you but why do you have to be a brat

scarfboy: remember that time my dad locked me in a freezer

idiot: oh my fukcign gOD that was ONE time

scarfboy: i beg to differ, it definitely was not

angery: jesus christ

dad: oKAY lets stop minimizing isaacs trauma pls

scarfboy: yeah fuck you guys

theprettyone: stop being a brat

scarfboy: make me

theprettyone: how am i supposed to respond to that

scarfboy: idk you could always threaten to lock me in the freezer

dad: ISAAC AFSAJDJAKLSF

{2:21PM}

princess to flaming hot cheetos

princess: mind if i ask what the fuck that was about?

gayson: honestly i couldnt even tell you

scarfboy: every1 was bullying me

princess: that… does not sound like what happened

idiot: has corey picked a movie yet

princess: idk i havent seen him

sunshine: sorry! i stayed after to ask ms antoniou a question

mom: look at that. a responsible student

sunshine: i try! :)

idiot: so idk if you found it amongst the Chaos earlier but its ur turn to pick a movie

sunshine: what did we watch last time?

angery: that stupid ass fuckn dinosaur movie

dad: excUse me

idiot: insult Land Before Time 1 MORE TIME

dad: littlefoot, my angel

sunshine: oh boy

sunshine: can we watch tangled

idiot: [finallysomegoodfuckingfood.jpg]

theprettyone: see isaac this is why we let corey pick the movies

theprettyone: but i love littlefoot too

angery: i am surrounded,,,,,,, by five year olds

princess: so can anyone pick me up from practice

idiot: not liam or theo

princess: :(

toeh: dont listen to them, i can get you

princess: :)

angery: or you could just not go

princess: bold of you to assume i want to go in the first place

scarfboy: genuine question

dad: isaac, be nice

scarfboy: y do you play soccer if you hate it so much

princess: i dont hate it

princess: i just dont enjoy it most of the time

idiot: so

idiot: why do you play

princess: no i like playing! i just hate practicing

dumbar: i like watching you play

princess: i like it when you come to watch me play :)

dumbar: :)

scarfboy: my virgin ears cant handle this sexting

idiot: leave them alone you dick

mom: ^

dad: so theo can get her?

toeh: yes

dad: then stiles and malia are on snack duty

idiot: COME AGAIN

angery: HUH?

idiot: I AM ALREADY AT YOUR HOUSE

theprettyone: asdsfhjskahd

princess: oh boy i gotta go to practice

dumbar: have fun bby ily

idiot: ARE WE ALL GONNA JUST IGNORE THIS INJUSTICE

idiot: I CANNOT BELIEVE

dad removed idiot from the chat

dad: have fun at practice hayden!

Chapter Text

{5:16PM}

princess to flaming hot cheetos

princess: theo n i are on our way

gayson: sweet

angery: good stiles is eating all the food

scarfboy: normally i would argue for the sake of arguing

scarfboy: but he just finished a party size bag of doritos

mom: sometimes he disgusts me

idiot: i… am offended

toeh: he disgusts me all the time

idiot: theo you are getting on my last fucking nerve

mom: stiles come have a cookie and calm down

idiot: ok

mom: and theo?

toeh: what

mom: stop bullying stiles

toeh: no promises

princess: he promises

dad: wait a minute which one of you is driving?

princess: neither

princess: we’re sitting in the parking lot

dumbar: :(

angery: why does that make you sad

dumbar: bc theyre making out without me

theprettyone: if you dont get here soon there wont be any cheesecake left

princess: theres cheesecake???????

dumbar: not for long >:)

princess: liam.

dumbar: yes my sweet angel

princess: if there isnt cheesecake left when i get there

princess: you will not like what happens to you.

dumbar: is that a threat romero?

scarfboy: i feel,,,,,,,,, uncomfortable

angery: bold of you to assume anyone cares how you feel

sunshine: i saved you some cheesecake hayds dont worry :)

princess: what did i do to deserve you?

idiot: you know youre lucky theres cheesecake at all

idiot: since sOMEONE forced malia and i to do the shopping

angery: i picked out the cheesecake

idiot: you did not

angery: i definitely did

angery: while you were trying to convince me to buy seven whole baguettes

theprettyone: what

idiot: PEOPLE LIKE BAGUETTES WHY IS THAT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND

angery: no one likes baguettes thAt much

idiot: I DO

dad: ok children stop yelling and come get snacks

toeh: we’re here

princess: cheesecake time!!!

{1:48AM}

sunshine to flaming hot cheetos

sunshine: i love you guys sm

sunshine: u are all beautiful perfect cinnamon apples

sunshine: goodnight <3

theprettyone: aw corey we love you too <3

idiot: soft corey is the best corey

princess: night c! see u tomorrow <3

scarfboy: i love soft corey

idiot: aw isaac has feelings :’)

{6:32AM}

dumbar to flaming hot cheetos

dumbar: HELP I FORGOT TO DO THE APUSH HOMEWORK

scarfboy: not my problem???

dumbar added gayson , princess , and sunshine to HELP ME

dumbar: HELP I FORGOT TO DO THE APUSH HOMEWORK

princess: that… does not surprise me

princess: what was it again?

gayson: u had to outline chapter 19

dumbar: which was about ?

gayson: disunion

dumbar: what the fuck is that

princess: did you read?

dumbar: obviously not

gayson: we cant just send you our outlines they cant be the same

princess: you have study hall second period, do it then

dumbar: the problem is not that i dont have time to do it

dumbar: i just dont wanna

princess: oh my god

gayson: [ch19outlinepage1.jpg]

gayson: [ch19outlinepage2.jpg]

gayson: just dont copy it word for word

dumbar: i love you

princess: no offense or anything li but how are you still alive

dumbar: the only thing keeping me going is ur love and affection <3

{12:48PM}

dumbar to HELP ME

dumbar: ok what the fuck

gayson: what

dumbar: you are a fukcing traitor

gayson: what the hell are you talking about???

dumbar: you and hayden

princess: wtf did i do?

dumbar: didnt fuckn tell me n corey that there was a quiz

princess: it was just to check if you read the book tho?

dumbar: which i obviously didnt

sunshine: idk why youre upset? she literally does this after every book?

dumbar: its the principle of the thing corey

gayson: sir it is not my fault that you didnt read bc you were making out w theo

princess: ^

dumbar: you also made out with theo??

princess: but i read the fuckin book

gayson: and the quiz wasnt hard so i didnt feel the need to mention it

sunshine: it really wasnt that big a deal you just had to talk about symbolism

dumbar: i see how it is

dumbar: this is betrayal

gayson: not my fault youre living up to your username

dumbar: ok fuck you

{12:55PM}

princess to dumbar

princess: liam

dumbar: yes

princess: are you okay?

dumbar: yes

princess: no youre not

princess: were you really that upset about that quiz?

princess: im sorry i should have said something

dumbar: no its ok today has just really sucked

princess: im sorry

dumbar: its ok

dumbar: can i come over later

princess: ofc

dumbar: thanks

princess: i love you <3 see you next period

dumbar: love you too hayds

{2:18AM}

gayson to flaming hot cheetos

gayson: it has been,,,,,,,, a bitch of a week

idiot: it certainly has

mom: dont you have school tomorrow mase?

gayson: well yes but thats what i texted about

sunshine: normally i would protest about texting this late but i like this plan

gayson: can we pls skip school tomorrow and go to the aquarium

idiot: aquarium ! ! !

idiot: yessir

mom: idk if scott will approve

gayson: its friday  a n d its a half day nothing important is gonna happen

sunshine: please???

sunshine: i wanna see the otters

idiot: i cannot resist coreys puppy dog eyes

mom: you cannot even see him

idiot: no but i can iMAGINE

mom: oh my god

mom: ok, field trip to the aquarium tomorrow

sunshine: yayyyy!! :)

Chapter Text

{7:49AM}

idiot to flaming hot cheetos

idiot: MORNING Y’ALL TIME TO GO SEE THE FISHIES

dad: i cant believe we’re pulling the kids out of school to go to an aquarium

angery: its not like it isnt educational

dumbar: we are not kids

scarfboy: you are practically a toddler

theprettyone: isaac don’t start

theprettyone: it is WAY too early for your shit

toeh: when are we leaving

mom: hoping to get on the road in a few minutes, meet at the aquarium at 9:30?

scarfboy: we’re really driving almost 2 hours to see some dumb fuckn fish?

idiot: blocked

scarfboy: they’re just fish

scarfboy: whats so great about fuckin fish

idiot: guys i keep getting notifications but no messages??? :/

theprettyone: guys please

idiot: anyways! 9:30! b there or b square!

sunshine: 9:30???

gayson: oh boy

gayson: see when we suggested this we were kind of hoping for more of an… afternoon adventure?

idiot: THE FISHIES WAIT FOR NO MAN

{1:34PM}

mom to flaming hot cheetos

mom: if anyone sees stiles please let me know? he said he was going to the otters but he’s not here

dad: uhhh 

mom: oh god what did he do

dad: he called isaac a “cunning, pliable, chestnut-haired sunfish”

dad: and then isaac found out what a sunfish looked like

theprettyone: two questions: were the police called? and what does a sunfish look like

dad: 1: no police and 2: you don’t wanna know

idiot: in my defense it is NOT my fault isaac doesn’t watch parks and rec

theprettyone: im pretty sure you’re the only one who does

gayson: false 

idiot: thank you 

mom: stiles are you okay?

idiot: physically i am fine

idiot: emotionally i am bruised

idiot: also my nose is bleeding please come help me

{6:43PM}

theprettyone to flaming hot cheetos

theprettyone: anyone have any dinner ideas? aquarium closes in 15 minutes

dumbar: something cheap pls im so broke

idiot: red lobster

scarfboy: ur only suggesting that bc u know lydia’s gonna pay for u

scarfboy: some of us have to use our own money

dad: uh im paying for you??

scarfboy: jesus every time i try to make a point

angery: it was an invalid point

idiot: RED LOBSTER

theprettyone removed idiot from the chat

theprettyone: trying again

theprettyone: anyone have any dinner ideas?

toeh: there’s a cheap pizza place two blocks from here

theprettyone: perfect, thank you

theprettyone: for reference, that is how to be helpful

dad added idiot to the chat

idiot: ya know a simple “shut up stiles” would suffice

idiot: y’all dont have to remove me every five seconds

dad: so should we get going

idiot: one sec i gotta go get something

mom: you don’t need another stuffed turtle

idiot: ...k ill meet you at the car

{10:26PM}

sunshine to HELP ME

sunshine: can we watch a movie tonight???

dumbar: we literally spent all day together

princess: anything for u corey

sunshine: im baby

dumbar: yeah we know

gayson: what are we watching

sunshine: 101 dalmatians

dumbar: FUCK WHY DIDNT YOU SAY THAT EASRLIER

dumbar: THATSM Y SHIT IM ON MY WAY

sunshine: im gonna pretend u dont just like me for my movie choices

princess: honestly cor i don’t even think he loves me or theo more than disney movies

gayson: he loves me more than disney movies

dumbar: no i dont

princess: no offense but i think he’d kill us all if he got a fun musical number out of it

gayson: liam’s uninvited

sunshine: no he’s not

dumbar: ha get rekt mase

sunshine: but he will be if he ever fucking says that again

{10:39AM}

dad to flaming hot cheetos

dad: pack night tonight

angery: didnt we just have one

idiot: bold of you to assume that matters

idiot: besides in this house we don’t argue with free food

mom: its not free 

mom: you just dont pay for it.

idiot: well ya but i repay u with my love and affection

idiot: :-)

scarfboy: EW what the FUCK is that

idiot: what

scarfboy: who the fUCK puts a fuckin nose on their SMILEY FACe

idiot: jesus christ

idiot removed scarfboy from the chat

theprettyone: stiles come on

theprettyone: its not even 11 yet

idiot: YOU ALL LET HIM ATTACK ME

dad: to be fair thats the ugliest smiley face i’ve ever seen

idiot: oh my god 

idiot added scarfboy to the chat

idiot: they made me add u back

idiot: :-(

scarfboy: i cant even help it 

scarfboy: it just looks so fuckin stupid

idiot: shUT the FUCK

{5:46PM}

toeh to flaming hot cheetos

toeh: so uh the pups and i are gonna be a little late

theprettyone: is everything ok?

toeh: yeah everyones fine

theprettyone: i asked if everyTHING was ok

theprettyone: now im nervous

sunshine: its allm y fautl

mom: what the hell is going on?

dumbar: NOTHING IT IS NOT A BIG DEAL

sunshine: YES IT IS

dumbar: NO ITS NOT

theprettyone: do i need to call the sheriff

princess: no!

sunshine: its my fault

dumbar: i mean this in the kindest way possible but corey please shut up

toeh: so we’re at the emergency room

theprettyone: ???

dad: excuse me

princess: not! a! big! deal!

toeh: corey was invisible and scared mason and he fell and busted his hand open

gayson: guess w hos gettin STITCHEZ

mom: oh my god

dumbar: corey why did you give him his phone back

sunshine: ITS ALL MY FAULT

idiot: i feel like you should all know that isaac is cackling right now

scarfboy: its funny. sue me

toeh: some intern is coming to sew him up gotta go

gayson: FUCK YEAH

princess:  we'll be there in a little bit!

Chapter Text

{Monday 6:54AM}

dumbar to HELP ME

dumbar: im not going to school

sunshine: why not?

dumbar: i dont want to

gayson: are you kidding

gayson: im going and i got STITCHES

dumbar: yeah yeah we get it mase ur a victim

sunshine: I SAID IW AS SORRY

princess: liam you’re going to school

dumbar: no

princess added toeh to the chat

toeh: if you can be ready in five minutes i can drive you

dumbar: oop guess whos going to school

{11:58AM}

gayson to HELP ME

gayson: DID Y’ALL HEAR ABOUT THE FIGHT THIS MORNING 

princess: no?? 

sunshine: who was it???

gayson: THATS NOT IMPORTANT 

gayson: APPARENTLY FOUR JUNIORS CORNERED A SOPHOMORE IN THE BATHROOM BY THE GYM AND FUCKIN JUMPED HIM 

princess: holy shit! 

gayson: AND FINSTOCK HEARD IT BECAUSE THEY WERE ALL SCREAMING LIKE “KICK HIS HEAD! KICK HIS HEAD!”

gayson: SO THEN HE WENT IN TO BREAK IT UP AND NOW THE BATHROOM IS SHUT DOWN BECAUSE OF “CRIMINAL ACTIVITY”

sunshine: only in beacon hills, i stg

princess: ok but now i really wanna know who it was 

gayson: i’ll do some digging. just thought y’all should know 

dumbar: no digging required! got the tea!

sunshine: whomst the fuck was it

dumbar: y’all know that cute kid nolan that just moved here a few months ago

gayson: yep

gayson: WAIT OMG NO 

dumbar: gabe and his friends beat nolan up

sunshine: noooo! :(

princess: jesus christ why is gabe such a fucking troglodyte

dumbar: what the hell does that mean

gayson: is that word too big for you?

sunshine: use your context clues liam

princess: it means caveman, liam

dumbar: see hayden loves me

gayson: she would probably love u more if u could read

dumbar: Y ARE YOU COMING FOR ME LIKE THIS 

dumbar: I GOT YOU THE FUCKINF TEA

gayson: fuckinf

sunshine: fuckinf

princess: fuckinf

dumbar: ok you know what?

dumbar changed the chat name to three fake hoes and me

{2:18PM}

toeh to three fake hoes and me

toeh: sorry im late but 

toeh: fuckinf

dumbar removed toeh from the chat

{Tuesday, 2:33AM}

idiot to flaming hot cheetos

idiot: im booooooored

idiot: someone pay attention 2 me

idiot: helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

idiot: LOVE ME

scarfboy: why the fuck are you awake

idiot: im inventing my own time zone

idiot: its called Stiles’ Time Domain

scarfboy: so STD

idiot: LET ME LIVE

scarfboy: ur time of death is 2:36 STD

idiot: im gonna choke you when i see you tomorrow

scarfboy: is that a threat or a promise

idiot: UGH

angery: this is the kinkiest shit ive ever seen

idiot: FUCK BOTH OF YOU

scarfboy: u wish ;)

theprettyone: isaac

theprettyone: why do you have to antagonize stiles at 2:40 am

scarfboy: i have done nothing wrong, ever, in my life

theprettyone: i-

idiot: YOU DO WATCH PARKS AND REC

idiot: YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE FOR NOTHING

theprettyone removed idiot from the chat

theprettyone removed scarfboy from the chat

theprettyone: sleep tight everyone!

{9:12AM}

flaming hot cheetos

theprettyone added scarfboy to the chat

theprettyone added idiot to the chat

theprettyone: welcome back from exile

scarfboy: that was rude

dad: you fell asleep immediately after, why did you care

scarfboy: i couldnt talk to anyone

dad: you were,,, in my bed?

dad: with me??

scarfboy: ok fine i just like bullying stiles :/

theprettyone: there it is

idiot: HE FINALLY ADMITS IT

dad: its not like we didn’t all know it already

dad: also im sorry but its fun to make fun of you

idiot: oh my gOD

idiot: betrayed by my own best friend

idiot: at least lydia loves me

mom: for some reason

idiot: i…

mom: stiles i’m joking you know i love you

idiot: :)

scarfboy: disgusting

theprettyone: isaac please 

scarfboy: its disgusting

theprettyone: if you dont stop right now

gayson: not to interrupt whatever the fuck is going on but some of us are in class right now

scarfboy: so turn your notifications off we’re in the middle of something

gayson: in the middle of what

scarfboy: allison was threatening me and it was hot

theprettyone removed scarfboy from the chat

theprettyone: THATS ENOUGH OF THAT

{11:46PM}

idiot to flaming hot cheetos

idiot: who wants to play minecraft???

angery: no one

gayson: ME

sunshine: idk how but ill play!

dumbar: me too

angery: i stand corrected

idiot: SWEET

idiot: see isaac? other people like me!

idiot: take that you fuckn idiot!

angery: oh sweaty

angery: no one added isaac back yet

idiot: FUCK

angery: time of death: 11:48pm STD

Chapter Text

{Wednesday 11:49AM}

dumbar to gayson 

dumbar: ohmy gOD

gayson: literally what the fuck do you want 

gayson: i am right next to you

dumbar: first of all, fuck you

dumbar: secondly: have you SEEN hayden today

gayson: she is across the table from us

dumbar: fucking HOT AS HELL

gayson: i am a gay man.

dumbar: her outfit,,, just… *chef’s kiss*

gayson: it’s leggings and a shirt

dumbar: a long-sleeved shirt

dumbar: that is pink

dumbar: and that belongs to theo

dumbar: and she does that THING where she puts the sleeves over her HANDS

gayson: i…

dumbar: do NOT deny it, I KNOW YOU THINK ITS ADORABLE WHEN COREY DOES IT

gayson: ok fine yes its very cute

dumbar: and THOSE LEGGINGS

dumbar: HOT DAMN

gayson: please spare me from a vivid description of my best friend’s ass 

dumbar: i thought i was your best friend

gayson: hayden doesn’t text me about your ass

gayson: also need i remind you that i am a gAY MAN

{2:34PM}

dumbar to flaming hot cheetos

dumbar: guess why we’re not going to practice today!

gayson: i have never been so furious

idiot added scarfboy to the chat

idiot: isaac deserves to see this

theprettyone: oh christ 

mom: liam what did you do

scarfboy: yeah liam what did you do

dumbar: i didnt do anything and i resent that assumption

angery: ok but 90% of the time when this happens its your fault

dad: what happened?

mom: i really don’t think we want to know

scarfboy: uhh,, yes we do

idiot: ^

gayson: SOMEONE didn’t drink water for over 72 FUCKING HOURS AND BLACKED OUT IN THE LOCKER ROOM

dumbar: you heard it here first folks

dad: LIAM

dumbar: IT WASNT ME

dad: oh

dumbar: WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ASSUME THAT ITS ME

angery: bc it usually is

dumbar: i hate this family

dad: no you don’t

theprettyone: ok but if it wasn’t either of you then who was it

angery: no offense but hayden is entirely too smart to pull some dumb shit like that

scarfboy: true

toeh: eh,,, you’d be surprised

dumbar: it wasn’t her this time theo

angery: which leaves…

dumbar: you guessed it

sunshine: FOR THE LAST TIME I DID NOT “BLACK OUT IN THE LOCKER ROOM”

gayson: OH YEAH? THEN WHAT DO YOU WANT TO CALL IT?

gayson: “TESTING THE LIMITS OF GRAVITY WHILE UNCONSCIOUS”?

theprettyone: oh god

mom: corey, honey…

sunshine: i just like,,

sunshine: traveled to a different dimension or something

dad: jesus christ

scarfboy: asdashdgjskf

sunshine: ISAAC

scarfboy: no please, do go on

gayson: so anyway he took a nosedive onto the fucking floor, broke every bone in his fucking face

sunshine: I DID NOT

gayson: TELL THAT TO THE BLOOD ALL OVER YOU 

dumbar: anyway can someone come get us please??

angery: theo’s on his way

mom: where’s hayden?

dumbar: well funny story she’s currently keeping mason out of the locker room

theprettyone: why?

dumbar: because i locked him out

theprettyone: ...why?

dumbar: bc im pretty sure he’s gonna strangle corey if we let him in

gayson: BECAUSE HES FUCKING STUPID

gayson: WHO DOESNT DRINK WATER FOR 72 FUCKING HOURS

sunshine: ITS NOT EVEN A BIG DEAL IM FINE

mom: ok well clearly the danger has passed now, let’s all calm down, okay?

dumbar: OOP

dad: oh god what now

angery: i bet mason just broke in and now he’s kicking corey’s ass

scarfboy: this just keeps getting better and better

princess: i can assure you mason is still in the hallway

princess: corey’s safe for now

dumbar: not from himself

theprettyone: what in the hell does that mean??

dumbar: he just went down again

gayson: IMG ONNA FUCKIN GMURDER HIM!

mom: oh my god

gayson: HE HAS A 104 IN AP CHEM AND DOESNT FUCKING DRINK WATER

theprettyone: this is a nightmare

gayson: WHY WONT YOU JUST DRINK WATER

sunshine: it tastes bad

gayson: IT DOESNT TASTE LIKE ANYTHING

gayson: AND IT STOPS YOU FROM BLACKING OUT 

sunshine: I DIDNT BLACK OUT

gayson: i literally don’t understand how you’re still making this argument

angery: just so you know, isaac is laughing so hard that he’s wheezing

dumbar: theo’s here, me and corey are gonna leave now

sunshine: i didn’t “black out”, i transcended my physical form

theprettyone: oh my god

dumbar: we’re gonna go see deaton!!

sunshine: i astral projected and met god

{6:38PM}

gayson to sunshine

gayson: corey

sunshine: what

gayson: listen… 

gayson: im sorry. about earlier. 

gayson: i was just worried about you, you know that, right?

sunshine: yeah, i know.

gayson: just please drink water? ok? 

gayson: i know you can’t get that badly hurt but still.

sunshine: i will. promise.

sunshine: i love you

gayson: i love you too

gayson: so much <3

sunshine: i know <3