Chapter 1: Yo Boy
“Ochako flattop took a belly flop off of the Mufasta intersection bridge last night holding a suicide note.” Izuku felt his stomach drop as he stared at Shouto, the boy had said it so casually.
”Oh my god. Is she dead?” He didn’t want to know the answer, but he had to know, he had to know if he’d caused this. He knew he’d hurt her but he needed to know if it was his fault she’d finally taken the next step.
Nonchalantly Shouto waved his hand around, “Just some broken bones. Just another geek trying to imitate the popular people and failing miserably.” There was something in those words, almost like the other boy was suggesting that he was nearly a cheap imitation of his group.
He nodded his thanks and walked away, hand over his mouth to suppress his sobs as he rushed to his locker to get his things to get home.
”Yo boy keep it together.”
He fought to ignore the hallucinations, ever since Katsuki had died he’d been getting them. He’d sometimes see his friend hovering about offering cheap advice and sarcastic commentary, since Hanta and Denki had died they’d joined Katsuki. Now, as he rushed through the corridor, fighting to leave before Tomura could catch sight of him they hovered over his shoulder, whispering to him.
“I knew you would come far now you’re truly one of them. Smell how successful you are.”
He let out a choked noise, barley aware of what he was saying himself, “Ochako I’m so sorry!”
“Yo boy feel a bit punchy? He’s not looking so well... still you’ve earned that red wrist band come join Bakugo in hell!”
He kept his head down until he got to his front door where the door was thrown open and his mum and her boyfriend stepped out, “Where have you been?”
”We we’re worried sick! Your friend Tomura stopped by. He told us everything.” He flinched at Tomura’s name, and felt himself chocking on air as he looked at his mother in fear.
”Everything?” He didn’t mean for his voice to break then, but it sounded like the keen of a dying animal.
Toshinori was the one to explain, “Your depression? Your thoughts of suicide?” He said it all like Izuku was being stupid, like he was missing something blindingly obvious. But from what they’d said Tomura had told them they probably thought he was just denying it.
”He even showed us your copy of Moby Dick!” His mother pushed the book into his hands and there in his handwriting was scarl after scarl or depressing and suicidal notes talking about the inferiority of human life.
He felt like Katsuki’s body really was leaning against his back and looking over his shoulder, “He has your handwriting down cold.”
“Please honey talk to us!” He couldn’t stand the pleading tone in his mother’s voice. It hurt so bad.
”No! You wouldn’t understand!” It was a stupid excuse, one that he knew wouldn’t fly but it was all he could get out. How was he supposed to explain to her he’d been responsible for killing three of his classmates because his boyfriend was actually a deranged sociopath who’d convinced him to do it and now he was just imitating people he hated to not be brought into the light.
”Try me! I’ve experienced everything you’re going through right now!”
she hadnt. Not in a thousand years had she.
“Guess who’s right on the block?”
“Your problems seem like life and death-“
“Guess who’s climbing the stairs?”
“I promise there not!” She was right, they weren’t. Because the death had already been caused. He forced his way past his mother and step father and tried to get to his room before his mother stopped him by grabbing his wrist.
“Guess who’s picking your lock.” He needed the taunting to stop, he couldn’t tell if the ghosts were warning him or if his own paranoid mind was messing with him.
“You don’t know what my world looks like!” He finally broke free, making a break for it deeper into the flat, running to his room, hoping, praying that he’d be safe there. “Times up go say your prayers!”
”Deku’s running on fumes now, Deku’s totally fried!” He could hear Katsuki’s voice ringing in his ear just like it did when they were kids, but Hanta’s and Denki’s also mixed as well, “Deku’s gotta be tripping on ‘schrooms now thinking that he an hide. Deku’s done for, There’s no doubt now. Notify next of kin!”
He pushed into his room, slamming the door behind him before locking it, after that he slid to the floor, head leaning against the door as he covered his ears on an effort to stop hearing the voices, “Deku’s trying to keep him out now...” the voices were almost... sad, “Too late! He got in!”
His heart stopped for a second and fearfully he looked over his shoulder to his bed was, his window was open- he’d made sure to close and lock it before he’d left for school this morning. No. No. No. no....
”Know! Knock!” He flinched away , throwing himself halfway across the floor as he noticed Tomura leaning lazily against the wall, “Sorry for coming in through the window, dreadful etiquette I know!”
Keeping his voice as steady as possible he pulled himself to his feet, “Get out of my house!”
Chapter 2: Meant to be yours
“All if forgiven Izu-babe! Come on, get dressed. You’re my date to the pep rally tonight!” He took in Tomura’s bright smile, the love in his eyes and made the first smart decision of his third year high school career. He ran, even if it was only to his storage room in the corner he ran and locked the door, keeping his back to the door.
He could hear Tomura’s boots against his carpeted floor, his laughter ringing out, “You chucked me out like I was trash, for that you should be dead!” He felt his breath catch in his throat and he curled up on the floor, hand over his mouth, “But! But! But! Then it hit me like a flash!”
He heard a thump on the other side of the door indicating that’s Tomura’s back had hit it, “What I’d high school went away instead? Those assholes are the key! They’re keeping you away from me!” He heard the dangerous double edge enter his voice then, “They made you blind, messed up your mind but I can set you free!”
He heard another noise and it sounded like Tomura’s had gotten up again. “You left me and I fell apart. I punched the wall and cried-“ He nearly let out a shriek when three loud punches rang out from the other side of the door, if his door hadn’t been as thick as it was Tomura’s hand would of gone straight through the wood. “Then I found you changed my heart and laser loose all that truthful shit inside!”
”And so, I built a bomb, tonight our school is Vietnam! Let’s guarantee they’ll never see their senior prom!”
Then, it was like Tomura had collected himself as hove voice changed drastically, “I was meant to be yours... we were meant to be one. Don’t give up on me now! Finish what we’ve begun! I was meant to be yours!”
His heart ached for the Tomura that actually meant that, the boy that he’d fallen for- he wanted him back. “So when the high school gym goes BOOM with everyone inside, in the rubble of their tomb we’ll plant this note explaining why they died!”
He heard the crinkling of paper and ignored it in favour of looking around the small little box of a room for anything that could get himself out of this mess. In the corner he spotted his pull up bar and a piece of rope he’d used for his weights and idea came to mind and he felt a lump in his throat.
”We the students of U.A. High will die, our burnt bodies may finally get through to you, your society turns out slaves and blanks. No thanks. Sighed the students of U.A. High - goodbye.”
“We’ll watch the smoke pour out the doors being marshmallows we’ll make s’mores! We can smile and cuddle while the fire roars!”
He forced himself to breath as his shaken hands started to fashion an noose, the rope would probably give out under him if he wasn’t careful in how he did this. He had to hurry, he could hear in Tomura’s voice he was getting tired of waiting for him.
”I was meant to be yours! We were meant to be one! I can’t ask it lone! Finish what we’ve begun! YOU WERE MEANT TO BE MIND! I AM ALL THAT YOU NEED! YOU CARVED OUT MY HEART! YOU CAN’T JUST LEAVE ME TO BLEED!”
He pulled the box from the corner, it would give him enough height to actually do this, but he really wished he didn’t have to do this, maybe if he just waited Tomura would- “DEKU open the door please!” The way he said his name made his feel like he was dying, he made up his mind, wrapping the noose around his neck as he waited, he would have to time this right. If he did it too early he might actually die, too late and Tomura would try and save him.
”Deku open the door. Deku can we not fight anymore please? Can we not fight anymore. Izuku, sure, you’re scared I’ve been there. I can set you free! Izuku, don’t make me come in there!”
”I’m gonna count to three!” He took one final breath, closing his eyes and waited, “One. Two... three fuck it!”
And then he stepped down.