Chapter 1: ALEW;
The people closest to you felt it worst, and that, unfortunately, meant everyone in the class. Everything was a blur, nothing made sense. Heroes were out on the lookout all over the building where the class had been told to stay put (or else there would be serious consequences.) There were policemen with police dogs all over too, as your disappearance had come to light only hours ago.
The kidnapping of [Lastname] [Name] was sudden, shocking and terrifying. It happened so fast that it didn't even seem true until later when the incident started becoming so much bigger than the students would ever realise. Sure, there had been stories of unfortunate people who had been involved in a kidnapping on the news but to have it happen so personally to them, it was unreal. Your disappearance was so obvious, so painstakingly felt in the Yuuei dorms that it felt just scary to even speak.
The television was on and their teacher was on the screen, Aizawa was addressing the issue with a face of passive nerves because they all knew he was just itching to go out there and look for you. He was speaking so clearly, almost no emotion and a hard look in his eyes, like he was thinking on the spot - what to do, where to go, where were you, how did you get away so silently and without anyone realising? - while his own students were watching, he knew this, and he looked at the camera,
"We won't stop until we get her back."
It was only hours before that you were resting on the couch with Kaminari and Midoriya, your head rest on Kaminari's lap while your feet were graciously upon Midoriya's thighs and they invited you to make yourself comfortable while you took their offer immediately with sweet words or gratitude, smiling and giggling like you always seemed to be. Popcorn was being passed around and without even asking, Todoroki bought the bucket towards you.
Without mercy, you reach your hand in to grab a handful of the buttery treat and laughed as it crumbled over your chest - Denki helped himself to eat some of the fallen popcorn while you fed your mouth and watched the movie playing on the flat-screen TV (the same one they were watching without you, about your mysterious kidnapping) and Midoriya flinched when your toe touched his stomach lightly, "say ahh" you grinned and he stared for a second longer before realising dumbly and opened his mouth with pink cheeks, you threw the popcorn lightly and it floated right into his mouth, astounded, he ate it with a dumb smile growing on his face and Kaminari cheered quietly for your success.
"Thanks, Shouto," you whispered and he nodded back at you before turning back to see the movie, a Disney one just for him since he seemed to have missed out on that part of a childhood. And everyone was crowded together in front of the screen; either on the floor or cuddled on the couch or others had ever brought down their own pillows and blankets to make themselves extra comfortable.
It was only hours before the incident that you had taken to go on your phone for a bit instead of watching the movie, catching Denki's attention when he smirked at the contents on your phone as you scrolled through social media and liked images of memes. He got his own phone and instantly started recording this on snapchat as you scrolled through unknowingly, laughing to himself as he sent it to just about everyone in class. Watching in amusement when everyones phones seemed to either light up, vibrate or ding with a notification, opening it to see what you were doing and laughing back at you when you slowly realised what was going on,
"Huh? What is it?" You sat up and noticed Todoroki watching the video too, seeing yourself from above and you laughed towards Denki as the boy snickered, "you ass! I'm watching the movie, I was just a bit bored!" He laughed aloud now and the sound made your smile grow, "idiot.."
"[Name], are those dank memes?"
Sero had a smirk on his face and you honestly didn't know why that would be a surprise, "Huh?... so what if it is..?"
The boys; mainly part of the self-proclaimed 'Bakusquad,' laughed while you couldn't help laughing along with them.
It was only hours before you were taken that Kaminari decided to follow you when you professed that you would be heading to bed early. You knew full well that you were actually going just so you could watch some random videos on youtube in your bed. After Kaminari came Sero and along with him came Kirishima and then Bakugou too. The last boy didn't really have a choice but when Kirishima dragged him along with a teasing grin and then there were four guys in your dorm room along with yourself and without needing to say anything, they all made themselves comfortable in your room.
Kirishima falling backwards into your large beanbag on the floor, Kaminari diving right into your bed to bury his face in your pillows and Sero effortlessly sitting on Denki's back, scooting back to rest his own back against the wall. And Bakugou took the seat by your desk, twirling around to see everyone while you sat on the floor and turned on your television seeing as you had four other unexpected guests here.
"Why'd you guys follow me?" They knew you didn't mind, in fact, everyone knew that you loved it when people kept you company in your room, whether it be just to mess around or to talk about issues or to play games and watch movies or even to do school work together. You were kind of like that person that no one could hate even if they physically tried and it showed by the way you just smiled every day, throughout everything you went through.
It showed when some girls from a different class came to you for love advise because you had unintentionally helped their friend get with her crush. It showed when Uraraka's crush on Midoriya could be handled in a good manner so that the two could still be friends because they were first and for-most becoming heroes. It showed when Bakugou came to you about how to be a little bit nicer to his peers because no one was willing to deal with his angry and unfair outbursts. It showed when Kaminari came to you about his crush on Kirishima, when all he could do was rant about how manly and handsome the red-haired boy was and you just agreed because it was true.
You listened to everyone and for that, they were all so grateful to you.
But hours later when your disappearance was made known in the early hours of the morning, no one knew what to do but everyone was thinking the same thing, they had to get you back no matter what. They couldn't waste any time when they all knew that you would've gone after any one of them without a second thought.
Somewhere in Tokyo, 04:29,
A group of men were holding you and your unconscious body was dead weight, easy for them to hold and touch while taking you away while the perpetrators held in their grins until they were completely off the grid. Neither thinking nor feeling, your body was nothing more than a sack of potatoes as they transported you away from your home and from your family and from your friends. Away from the heroes that still weren't aware that you had been abducted in the building where you were meant to be the safest.
"'m gonna have so much fun with this lil cutie," one of them muttered, his head, the head of an odd looking rodent, was looking down your body with mirth and no one said anything because they still didn't even believe that their plan worked so well. Laughing inwardly at the idiots that call themselves heroes - but kudos to them for saving that other boy that had been abducted by the League of Villains - but now that another student had been successfully taken, they were determined to ensure that you didn't get away from them until they wanted you to.
Then the people of Japan would see how hopeless these heroes are, unable to even protect their own pupils. Civilians would cause an uproar and no one would feel safe, it would be chaos and just the thought brought the leader; Akuma, so much pleasure that he couldn't help caressing your soft cheek, at the touch you roused from your sleep.
"Ah, our sweet girl is waking, let's be sure to see that she doesn't wake up Tokyo," Akuma's voice was dark, like thunder in a quiet storm and you didn't understand what was going on, your eyes adapting to the darkness when you felt their hands, tight and hot, grabbing your arms and your legs and your waist, moving up and down wherever they pleased, and you flinched multiple times while licking your lips to try and wake up, blinking repeatedly when your brows furrowed, your heart spiking frantically when you could finally make out the four men surrounding you,
"It's okay, angel face, we'll be home soon," Your stomach dropped so hard it made you sick, tears came to your eyes and you tried to speak up louder as the early morning light was finally showing, the sky turning from that dark navy-black as it turned to a dark blue, going lighter as your eyes try to look around to spot anything that seemed familiar, "st-stop.." your mind was so hazy, your body so weak, your mouth almost felt numb, lips moving without you even knowing as you tried to make a sound,
"Hide, put your bandana on her mouth," The one with that deep, hypnotising voice spoke and the other man did what he commanded without a second thought, as if he didn't have control.
"No- mmmmnhgnmm!!" The material tightened around your head, your mouth struggling to talk as you tried and failed to remove it. Your voice was muffled, unable to be understood and your body was tingling from the effects of whatever they had done to make you so easy to take, steal, from your home.
A kick, your foot was asleep and you kicked again, the hand squeezed, a blinding pain and you look down to see some sort of knife type weapon protruding from another mans forearm, Akuma rumbled, "Don't damage my goods, Neikan,"
"Yeah, boss." He retracted the white, sharp thing from your leg and it went back under his skin, your skin crawled with fear, unable to think properly when your body started convulsing in fear, "alright, alright, my princess is finally awake, huh? You can feel your body again, that's nice, but you'll have to nap for a little longer, okay sweetie?" He caressed your cheek again, your body was trembling with sobs, the material in your mouth was wet with snot and saliva, tears and sweat.
Your mind was screaming to get away and only as you kicked your other leg towards the other man, did you scream in utter agony, blinding and numbing, so awful that it caused your entire body to freeze like a doll, not dead weight but instead like a mannequin, there was something, some contraption, on your foot that had you screaming in complete despair, screaming till your throat stung, screaming to each and every neighbourhood in Tokyo to please get up and take me from these people, screaming to your teachers, to your friends and to All Might,
Please save me!!
And you kept screaming, mind going dizzy with frantic thoughts that were all combining into each other that you couldn't even think, you tried getting away but nothing was happening, your quirk was doing nothing, as if you had never been born with one and with eyes wide in terror and desperation, you shook and moved like a savage animal, frantically trying to move to escape, to get out of their filthy hands, to be free again, to run back home and forget everything but you were so weak.
You were powerless, so all you could do was shake and kick and pull, pushing in hopes that one of them might loosen their hold on you but you were so weak (just as Bakugou said before telling you how to improve) so all you had was a voice while you were still awake to scream and scream until your mouth bled and to wish upon every single star in the sky that someone, anyone, would get up and help you, call the police, make this all stop.
Some people came out.
They watched you being held, carried away to places you didn't know anymore.
They ran back inside their homes.
And a pinch was felt, your voice broke, your shoulder hurt for a bit and then you heard someone crying so loudly, you choked on your own saliva, it was a mess, you were a mess, trying to survive, your vision was going hazy once more just like it was when you woke up. The sun was rising, ah that crying was me, and the leader spoke again, his voice echoing through your mind when your eyes fluttered closed, "that's it, baby..."
And a new day began with Class A missing a student and it was only hours before that you had been laughing along with your best friends when no one knew anything of the Akuma.
Chapter 2: KADOTA;
verb - to disappear, vanish; to get/be lost, be missing; to fade
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Hours turned to days;
The most prestigious hero school in the region had gotten yet another one of their students taken. You had been deemed missing initially but the suspiciousness of the incident had heroes and especially the people closest to you, thinking otherwise. Rumors that you had actually been taken away from your home forcibly were being repeatedly spoken throughout the media and the news, no one really knew what to believe but the police were trying to do the best they could.
Of course, your parents just wouldn't accept that. They needed everything and anything to be done to get you back and Aizawa had been the one to get the brunt of that conversation. The scolding he took was horrible but he actually thought that he deserved it because you were gone, a child taken from him when he promised that you'd be safer in the dorms, he had failed your family and the best thing he could do was to get you back.
Kaminari and Sero had tried calling and texting but the police that searched your room had revealed that your phone had been left behind. They also determined that there seemed to be no struggle and so, they regrettably informed your homeroom teacher that you had probably been unconscious; possibly as you slept in order to make it easier to take you, when it happened. Aizawa felt as if he owed it to his students to tell them everything the police told him. Their fear turned to painful despair as each and every one of them yearned to find you and bring you home.
Midoriya, along with a lot of his other classmates, couldn't help thinking about what could have happened. Where you could've gone. He even thought about things like if you had made any enemies, if any villains had ever shown any interest in you - perhaps at the USJ incident, or the mall? Or maybe at the training camp where... Bakugou had been taken but no, nothing came up in particular. Nothing struck with him. He didn't know what could've happened and he wanted to ask Uraraka if she'd heard anything but he knew he couldn't with the way she had reacted to everything.
She was roomed next to you on the fourth floor. Next to you was a vacant room and then there was Ashido. On the boys side was Shouji, Kirishima and then Bakugou, respectively. The people on that floor had been questioned and they each hated every second of it because they all heard nothing. They all sensed nothing even when Kirishima and Bakugou had been with you only hours before.
Uraraka was so difficult to console because she had been blaming herself. If she had been paying more attention or if she hadn't been so carefree while only being separated from you with a wall. It was clear to see why she would blame herself but they all knew it wasn't her fault. Nothing could've been done and it was difficult to reassure the students on the fourth floor that it wasn't their fault. All Might had been telling them that whenever he could. They tried to keep level-headed throughout their daily lives after that.
It got harder every day.
Days turned to weeks;
The days were so tiring, paparazzi always wanted more, always seeking answers that no one but the filthy villains that had taken you had. They were ruthless too, following the class whenever they left the dorms because it was summer break and Class 1-A had to unfortunately adapt to the presence of the police and even this was going to be normal for them in the future, Aizawa hated that these kids had to go through something like this now. In their first year when they were much more impressionable and vulnerable.
This is just as bad as when Bakugou had been taken. Everyone felt they were the one to be blamed. Everyone wanted to move, they had this relentless energy that had no end, always buzzing to try and do something and everything was... everything just felt wrong.
The room where Kirishima and Bakugou, along with Kaminari and Sero, often felt the most comfortable because you had this aura that made them feel as if they could just come inside whenever they pleased just to be with someone and say what they wanted. In the room where Bakugou slowly admitted to himself that he kind of, maybe didn't mind that nerd's (Midoriya) presence and you were so proud that he just felt better that he could finally say it without judgement.
He had been thinking about all the shit he had done to Deku. Bakugou wasn't about to go straight up to the nerd and talk from his ass, he was going to talk to you about it. He couldn't do that now. He couldn't even worry about Midoriya now when he was so angry at everyone. Why did a useless extra like you have to go through this? He knew as well as everyone else that you were the least deserving person to have this happen to you. No one deserved it, period, but... he was just so fucking mad. He swore he would obliterate those villainous scum when he got his fiery hands on them.
Kirishima was sad. He had gotten close to you throughout the months in class together and he was ecstatic to find out that his dorm-room was only across from yours. You were such a cool and confident girl that he couldn't help being attracted to that and the two of you seemed so compatible that he just had to befriend you. He loved you, platonically, and he knew you loved him too.
It was hard to try and stay positive when he felt so sad. When he got out of his dorm, his feet knew before his mind that he wanted to go to your room like he always did to go downstairs together and make breakfast. He couldn't do that now. Time continued and the longer you were gone, he was so scared that he'd have to get used to this. With no idea what you were going through, he was constantly battling this sickening emotion in his gut. He had no idea what was happening to you and he wouldn't know until they got you back... but when would that be?
Kirishima could talk to you about anything and he adored that. You could talk to him too. You always seemed to say the right things and he didn't understand how he could meet someone who could make all of his anxieties seem like nothing. You made him feel super manly and when he didn't, you gave the best hugs.
"Kirishima... do you believe in alternate realities?"
He'd been laying on your bed while you laid beside him, legs entangled while you watched videos on your phone, he listened but he was also on his phone; texting Kaminari and scrolling through social media, when he thought about it for a second,
"uh, what's that?" He turned to you to see you already staring, eyes bright with mirth, "like, that we live here, like this, in this timeline but there are also other realities where everything is different. Everything you think could be, is happening in another reality."
"Ah-" He thought about it, "woah, really?"
You rolled your eyes playfully, "Well yeah, it's a theory but I believe it, I think it's so cool!" You jumped on the mattress, turning your body so obviously obnoxious that he grinned when you repeatedly bumped into him in order to turn on your side so you were completely facing him, "Yeah so like.." He thought for a moment, smiling as he spoke, "a reality where dogs rule over people!"
He knew you'd love that,
You laughed with joy, "Yes!"
He continued, "One where... we're siblings?"
"Exactly, one where we are lovers as well!" You said it so casually and Kirishima loved how it wasn't awkward at all because with others that might've been weird, but it was another possibility too, he kept going, "A reality where I'm manly as hell!"
"You're already the manliest!" Both of you laughed together when you raised your clenched fist as if that would make your statement more powerful, "Wait, so a reality where we aren't heroes?"
"Of course," you nodded, "there's a reality where we could be villains."
You continued, "a reality where we've never even met! Oh, the horror!" The fist that had been clenched in the air lowered to open on your forehead as if in despair, he chuckled and raised his arm above your head, you saw and raised your head so that he could move his arm under your neck and cuddle you closer.
"Damn..." A reality where the two of you never met sounds scarier than being a villain in that moment when he felt your warmth and the way you so easily fit next to his own body, smaller than him but you were still so strong, strong in all the way he wanted to be so bad. In your mind and in your psyche.
"So..." his cheeks went rosy, only a little and when you had moved into him, your head was now resting on his chest so you didn't see the change of colour on his face but you could feel his heart. A grin grew upon your face that he couldn't see.
"There's a.. reality where Denks likes.. me?"
He flinched when you jumped, launching to sit up and turn back to look at him, smile growing when you saw the surprise on his face, "there is! There's a reality where you're together, there's one where you're married! It's all possible!"
He grinned, he liked the sound of that, "and who knows, maybe that'll happen here, too, you know?" Your tone was all too teasing and he laughed it off but awkwardly stopped when you stubbornly slapped his chest, "I'm serious! I really think you two would be amazing together, so does like, everyone! I know you can do it, Kirishima!" You smiled, so carefree, so supportive, "fight on!"
He slowly lifted himself to sit up before you, "Y-... you really think so?" He didn't seem so sure of himself, he sure as hell didn't feel sure of himself. Kaminari was so pretty and so funny, he was so good and he could make anyone so happy. He deserved someone who could make him happy.
"Hey... babe, don't you dare doubt yourself..." He couldn't help frowning at the way your lips flipped from a smile to a sullen scowl, "you're amazing, in fact, you're just as amazing as him, in every way, I'll tell you that every day if I have to." A second later, your face lit up and he didn't know why.
Not until the days that followed when he had found random notes coincidentally in the same places as where he was or where he was going. Kirishima looked down at the papers littering his bed that he had collected over the span of days (the fact that there was well over thirty pink notes over a week or so period was pretty amazing) and he stared down at your handwriting.
You had told him that you'd tell him every day how amazing he was, how he was so worthy of having the person he liked to like him back. You even went as far as to say that he could have anyone he wanted, no one was good enough. But for the sake of the current situation, you only reassured him that Kaminari was well within his league, and vice versa.
'you're smiling lights up my day'
'you're so strong, inside and out'
'you're so much more than you think'
'you're so funny, you always make me laugh'
'you know how to make everything better'
'i adore you'
'everyone is flawed so don't worry babe'
'you're so brave, you can do anything you want'
'whatever you might be worrying
about now, won't matter later,
everything is okay, love ♡'
His eyes hardened, almost accidentally scrunching up the last note he read. What irony. Everything will be okay? Don't worry? How could he not worry when his best friend was missing. He had no idea what was happening to you, what might be happening to you. Just as he started feeling choked up once more, the sound of his door alerted him of someone coming in, his heart shook at the sight of that gorgeous blonde hair that just made him want to run his hands through it.
Kaminari closed the door behind him, entering without words needed when he came to sit in front of Kirishima as the tired boy watched.
"Whatcha' got there?" His voice cracked a little, Denki's eyes looked so dark. Kirishima yearned to see the brightness in them, yearned to cuddle with you again - to cuddle with Denki and you.
He managed a strained smile, sifting his fingers through the papers on his bed. Small like post-it notes, "[Name]- she..." he inhaled deeply, speaking fast because of the hole in his chest, "she made these notes for me when I was feeling a bit down on myself.. when uh, we were talking about alternate realities.." His mind drifted to that night, Kaminari sneaked a little closer, sensing his friend was possibly feeling as lonely as he was.
Kirishima, done subconsciously, piled the papers into his hands though Kaminari managed to sneak a glance at a first, lighting up when he read the contents, "Whaa-" he got distracted from the cute messages, "what's that?"
"Huh?" Kirishima put the notes on his bedside table, and turned back to his best friend.
"Oh, alternate realities.. they're like other dimensions than the one we live in.. and the theory, that [Name] believes, is that there's an infinite amount where everything you think could be possible, is possible."
Kaminari's eyes widened slowly throughout the whole time Kirishima was talking, he was amazed at how Kirishima could say something so smart that made complete sense. It sounded pretty awesome, if you asked him.
"That's so cool. [Name] believes that?"
Eijiro nodded, scooting up the bed to rest his back against the wall. Kaminari followed him, giving him all of his attention, it grew quiet but not in an awkward sense. More so... that it was comforting, because they had each other when you were gone... It had been a week since you had gone missing. Everyone was still feeling your absence just as much as they did on that day, on the twenty-seventh.
"I.. miss her so much.."
Kaminari admitted, Kirishima looked towards the boy to see him picking at the blanket below him and his blonde hair had fallen slightly around his face. Kirishima, nodded, unable to think of much to say that he hadn't said before.
"We'll get her back,"
"We'll find her,"
"She'll be okay, she's strong."
A week had gone by though, Eijiro lifted a hand to gently caress Denki's own in order to get his attention and the blonde looked up to see Kirishima already staring right at him, as if telepathically reassuring him it would be okay, telling him that he felt the same. Instead of really saying anything, they simply... fell into each other. Kirishima scooted his bottom down the bed to lay on his back and his friend wordlessly fell forward, nuzzling Kirishima's side as their legs tangled together.
If you were here, you would've been spooning one of them. If you were here, you would've been ranting about anything that popped into your mind. If you were here, you would've been playing with their hair but you weren't so they had to rely on each other to try and feel your warmth.
Weeks turned to months;
As if a constant thunder cloud had come upon them, the class was each going through their own grief. Everyone had their own ways to handle this but none of them should have to do that at all. Aizawa pitied them, he sympathised with them and made sure he was available to them whenever he could. As it was summer break, it was easy to split his time between work and his students. Whether they were training, unable to sleep or even doing everyday, mundane tasks, he wanted to ensure them that they weren't alone. And when he wasn't with them, he was doing anything he could to help the police and he would go out on patrols, anywhere that seemed suspicious to him, to try and find something, anything.
His class had other people, their close friends, who knew what each every one of them were going through but Aizawa wanted to make sure they knew that they weren't completely alone from the world. He helped in taking care of your relatively large memorial flowers on the ground right beside the entrance to the Heights Alliance building. He was never alone when he went. Whether there were civilians, students from other classes and his own and teachers too.
Sometimes there were kids from middle school and junior high and a lot of them even expressed their admiration for you because of how cool and strong you were in the Sports Festival despite the fact that you had come in fourth. There were always new flowers. New prayers. You were so loved. Your parents were touched, they had made their own memorial and they prayed to it all the time. Praying that the gods were looking down and protecting you.
Everyone prayed in hopes that you would come home. No one prayed with the thought that you were already gone.
"Anything new, All Might?"
All Might thought he owed it to his students to report to them every week. He was trying so hard and because of his obvious connection with so many heroes and the police, he was Class A's greatest hope. (It was hard to formulate a plan to find you when they had nothing to go on.)
And every week he regrettably said, "not yet, Midoriya-shounen." His voice reverberated through the communal area and he hated how easy it was to crush his students' spirits. He felt like he was failing them. He was supposed to be the symbol of justice and as weeks turned to months, he just didn't know what to do.
His own pupils' eyes lowered, hopeless, as it had been months now (it had been three months and fourteen days now) and Christmas was only two weeks away, and what a great Christmas present would it be to get you back, Midoriya thought. Todoroki appeared beside him, giving him a comforting nudge as he probably knew what he was thinking, both of them returned to the majority of the class with slumped shoulders and eyes of a tragedy.
I've tried to fit this into the unofficial bnha timeline but it's kinda difficult cause the timeline isn't explicitly stated but this takes place after bakugou's kidnapping & rescue but before the second semester starts. It starts around August/September.
Chapter 3: MORTALA;
WARNING;; graphic violence & mentions of rape
adjective - unrelenting and deadly; involving loss of divine grace or spiritual death
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
She stared you down, a grin of a predator with the eyes of a flower, you couldn't help the buzz of the excitement when she yelled a quick, "Go!" And kicked off of her leg to get a fast start. You watched with anticipation when she charged right at you on the field as the class had free time to do whatever they pleased as long as they were productive.
Some chose to study more, some chose this time to discuss quirks and techniques with Aizawa while other people chose this time to spar. Meaning Bakugou and Kirishima for example, or Uraraka and yourself.
She finally made contact, opting for a physical fight rather than relying too much on quirks - it didn't matter, it was fun. Your adrenaline was rushing and you quite liked getting down and dirty in the dirt when raised a quick leg to try and strike your chest and because it seemed so fast, you had fallen back,
landing on the concrete with your breath leaving your lungs when you heaved and choked to try and breathe. They laughed at you, finding so much joy in seeing you crawl and fall on the floor, getting dirty in your half ripped clothes that were littered with all kinds of filthy stains. Your hair was a mess, covering your face that was covered in cuts and bruises from when they wanted to discipline you. Akuma was out so the other three enjoyed teaching you how to respect them,
And you flipped back onto your feet, grinning at your own reflexes at Uraraka brightened up at the way you moved so smoothly and quickly. It was impressive, "That.. was so cool," She threw a fist to your face, you used your arm to block it, "[Name]-chan!" A short laugh came from your mouth, unable to fully appreciate her compliment when you backed off and then squatted down to try and kick her off of her feet.
She huffed and jumped away but you followed, instead using your opposite arm to weaken her defences. She had a good balance between defence and offence, it was tricky but you were persistent, and her eyes widened when she noticed ice covering your hand when she deflected your hand, "He-hey! Unfair, no quirks allowed!"
It turned to steam and you grinned sheepishly, "My bad, Ochako-chan, it's a habit, you know?" Her eyes narrowed at your playful nature, hardly giving you time to repair when she raised a fist to try and,
strike you, again and again, across the face as the stinging and heat on your skin made your eyes burn when you squirmed on the floor like a pathetic child, breathless and numb when you could no longer see because of the swelling and the blood and sweat that trickled into your eyes and stung so bad that you just cried, coughing because you couldn't breathe and coughing because you were choking. An especially hard kick to the gut from yellow stomach acid straight from your inner organ to the ground where you laid, choking on your own spew.
They all laughed when Bakugou, yourself and Kaminari came through the door with black, charcoal facial masks on their face. The ash-blonde was internally raging but outside he just followed you to the couch to stubbornly sit beside you because he didn't really want to sit anywhere else.
"Wahh~ Kacchan has a face mask.."
"What's wrong, Izuku, you want one too?" You couldn't exactly smile because it seemed like your mask was drying by the way it was turning a lighter colour than Bakugou's. Kaminari had gone to the kitchen to get a snack (and also to see what Kirishima thought of his pink hair clip and charcoal mask,) And hence why Midoriya could see that Kacchan had probably asked for you to put the mask on him? Or maybe he just put it on because you had one on? Either way, he never thought he would actually see something like this happen.
He couldn't help smiling, Kacchan really had changed.
"Y-Yes, please!" He didn't even realise he had been staring till it grew too quiet, though it was okay because as soon as he answered, you had brightened up, flipping over the back of the couch in order to sprint back to your room to get your products.
When you came back down, your face was clear and pink from the mask having been peeled and washed off, "were you crying?" Multiple people stopped what they were doing, eyes turning your way when Todoroki got a good look at your face when you passed him to get to the couch, you paused and leaned close to him in order to whisper, cautious of having Bakugou and Midoriya hear, "no, the masks hurt like hell when you try to peel them off... Kinda made me cry."
He was perplexed, watching you grin towards the two boys, "It's nothing! I swear!" You answered everyone else.
(Midoriya was whining when he tried to peel the mask off but it took ages to do whereas Bakugou screamed and ripped at the same time,)
Screaming when one of them had their large, strong hand on the back of your cranium, dragging your bruised up, purple and blue face into the hard concrete and the vomit that you had just spat up. They laughed and mocked you, calling you weak and throwing another punch, another kick, to make sure you knew how weak you were. It hurt, everything hurt, you wanted everything to stop. The pain was blindingly numb. Your entire body was on fire. You were sure one or two of your ribs were shattered in the midst of their thrashing.
They held you down and you couldn't even see them because your cheeks were so fat, having grown so much as a response to their strikes and the lack of time they allowed you to have to heal. It was a constant thing, beating you to the brink of death,
"he-hey, w-.., wait, Tam-...., we can't-... at."who it was who was tickling you, only that someone had come from behind to pinch your sides and you flinched with a loud shriek, laughing loudly soon after when Ashido revealed herself, quickly attacking you once more when she chased as you tried to run with a squeal, her hands making 'grabby' motions when she reached for your sides and your stomach to lightly jab you and you grew red with laughter when she trapped you on the carpeted floor of Yaoyorozu's room causing the other girls to watch in amusement when no one tried to help you, "traitors!"
Squealing once more when a force tightened around your waist, turning around in surprise to see Tsuyu dragging you back towards her - towards safety - with her tongue and you watched with amazement, immediately wrapping your hands around her in glee when she pulled you right by her side, "my hero!"
"Are you alright, kero?" She was smiling, but her eyes were a little concerned when you looked so out of breath, eyes glassy, and yet you still laughed, Ashido was howling with laughter at your appearance as your hair was all over the place and your cheeks were bright red, "Mina! That was dirty!"
In response, she wriggled her eyebrows because of what you said and you rolled your eyes playfully, crawling over to where Yaoyorozu and Jirou were painting their nails. Hakagure and Tsuyu were watching videos on Yaoyorozu's laptop as everyone was resting on the carpeted floor with pillows and blankets, "Can someone do mine?"
Yaoyorozu lit up, "Oh, of course! Pick a colour," you looked into the box, smiling when your eyes immediately fell to,
red, the blood dripping down your face from the many cuts and wounds you had gained from the three men. Tamotsu, the primary offender, had this hungry look in his eyes, a hundred times worse than the one in Uraraka's eyes when she wanted to spar with you. He looked down at you and your mangled body like you were his own trophy. His head was one of a rodent, it frightened you to see someone like this so ruthlessly beating on you like he had a vendetta to settle with you.
Neiken stood by, leaning on something you couldn't see because you could barely keep your eyes open. It hurt to move, so you opt to stay put with your tense back leaning up against the wall behind you. Your leg was twisted in a weird way but you couldn't even tell if it was broken or not. It was so hard to breathe as if your airways were slowly being closed up and slowly killing you. Maybe that was the best thing. You didn't want it to stop. Except the feeling was constant, constantly feeling like you were on the brink of death, tears rushed from your eyelids down your rounded cheeks, taking blood and sweat with them.
Neiken didn't do much, only following the leaders orders as it caused the least trouble when he did so without question and beside him was Hide, close beside him as the two of them had been watching this rat-headed man pummel you within an inch of your life as if they were just watching something on national geographic. It was so horrifying, the way these people could stand to watch and do these things so unfazed.
The moaning and groaning didn't stop, the ringing in your ears was consistent, it was like a live wire had been placed in every limb, nerve and vein in your body, frying you from the inside out. The open wounds on your face were the least of your worries in this festering environment where you were treated as less than an animal. As nothing.
Dull knocks echoed in your mind, they were so loud, you moaned and Tamotsu told you to shut up. The wall you were leaning on disappeared and you fell backwards without warning, slamming your head into the concrete with a sharp cry and you had no idea how it happened.
Footsteps approached you, you whimpered and tried to move but the only thing you could do was move your hands up and down against the floor like a pathetic snow angel, trying to get away, your mind screaming at your body and your limbs, you failed, so weak, so much pain, Akuma stared down at you - his stare was passive.
"What the hell happened?"
Tamotsu snickered, "your angel tried to get away, I taught her a lesson."
it wasn't like that...
Staring up at the ceiling, you thought the pain would cease to exist by now. Akuma left a couple of times a day (or night, you couldn't tell anymore) and that's when your world revolved around Tamotsu. He owned you, he laughed at you, he kicked you,
...he grabbed you, he ripped your clothes,
...he got on you, he got in you,
but the pain was still as bare and gruesome, agonising and sickening and you wanted to give up so bad. It was as if the only thing stopping you was the way to go. Your options were so little that you just relied on Tamotsu, hoping one day he'd finally, finally snap and strike you once more than he usually did, hoping to have him hit you somewhere vital just so you could finally feel something other than this hell.
Akuma made the pain stop for a moment but he gave you a different type of agony that had your spirit disconnecting with your body.
"You goddamned fool!"
He swung around and slapped Tamotsu across the face, enough to have the rat-man staggering back but he wasn't surprised, possibly expecting some kind of punishment for putting you in such a state. You knew cause you'd seen it happen enough times, hearing the sudden slap echo in the room.
"You're going to kill her one day." He was annoyed, you were falling in and out of consciousness.
"Don't 'sorry, boss' me, if you kill her I'll bloody rip her spine out from your mouth." His answers were always so fast. Like he had already thought of everything before anything had even been said. You heard his steps coming closer and opened your eyes when feeling a nudge on your shoulder, "mghmm."
Your mouth was full of blood.
"Come on, baby, let's get you cleaned up."
A ghost of a girl laid on the ground in her blood and vomit and the man who owned her did as he pleased with her, ordering Tamotsu to carry to you a galvanised bathtub filled with bleach. You wanted to drink, you wanted to drown. You were numb, unable to even kill yourself anymore.
Your Akuma scrubbed you till you were raw. Clothed you. Then continued with his experimentations on you, his,
Shinso didn't plan on becoming friends with you. He wasn't all about that bright, laughter, teasing nature of yours and when he heard your laughter getting closer to him, sometimes he actually tried to avoid you... He wasn't trying to be rude or anything, he was just tired and unbothered a lot so he didn't want to deal with the happiness you brought. Nothing personal.
He didn't plan on becoming friends with you, and he also didn't plan on missing someone he said he didn't want to be friends with. He loathed it. The misery of knowing his friend was gone. Yes, his friend, a really good friend, in fact, and the fact that you weren't there to cook muffins with him when he couldn't sleep wasn't fair.
He just wanted to see you. He wanted to hear you and your annoying, god-awful laugh. He wanted to see you in the kitchen, chilling on the counter with a piece of toast in your mouth at three in the morning because you couldn't sleep. He wanted to be able to go there when he had that one particular nightmare to see you as if you were waiting for him so that he could forget and then watch the sunrise on the rooftop with you.
Sneaking around the dorms, hearing some people snore in the night as the two of you crept through the dark halls as if venturing through a haunted building. Finding the secret fire escape that lead to the roof where the two of you brought blankets and cuddled together under the stars to see the moon and then the sun.
It wasn't fair that you were gone. It wasn't fair that he couldn't give you his Christmas present because it was January now. He despised the fact that you could become so close to him so easily just to be taken away so fast. It made him angry, sad and he felt hopeless. These days he relied on Kaminari, though Kaminari had always been trying and so effortlessly getting close to him.
But still, no one made muffins at three in the morning like you did.
Uraraka cried so much on Christmas. It was like a dam that had been struggling to hold until it finally tipped and she was inconsolable. Hakegure was always so optimistic among the bunch of twenty. She was determined to reassure her classmates that you would be back for sure. It was hard to stay hopeful when so much time had gone by. Yaoyorozu tried to think of anything she could do to help find you, one night she had found Mina sneaking out and followed with the intention of bringing her back but Mina's face twisted in desperation pulled at her heartstrings, she tagged along when Mina searched high and low for you through the night, trying to get as far as she could before Yaoyorozu confessed that they should go back so no one grew frightened by their absence. She made sure to reassure Mina they would go out looking more the next night, and the next, and the next.
Tsuyu was struggling between being Uraraka's emotional support system and also grieving herself. The brunette found it so easy to wrap her thin arms around Tsuyu and hug her so tight it was as if she was holding her together from breaking just as she had. So many times. She wanted to say that it would be okay and she wanted to make Uraraka smile again but it was so hard when the normally bubbly girl was crying and blabbering with tears so much, blaming herself and unsure of how to fix it.
It was hard to say you were okay when Tsuyu was starting to think it was a lie.
Jirou took it upon herself to ask Koda for assistance. Their secret mission because she hated the thought of giving everyone false hope, especially Uraraka. Using her ability to listen through walls and dark places where she normally wouldn't go to, she was a bit more confident with Koda by her side, the boy spoke to small animals and bugs, the more the better, in order to find you.
(It was hard to find you when your voice was gone, all hope of being saved had been obliterated along with your soul. And you had been ravaged so many times with blood and other bodily fluids and bleach that it would practically be impossible to catch your scent.)
"Anything new, All Might?"
Aoyama questioned, hands resting by his sides, his stance saying he probably already knew the answer when All Might had come by again to look after his students. He almost felt like a parent - and he didn't really mind that either - and so he grabbed Aoyama's thin shoulder, comfortingly, the smaller blondes eyes widened because this was different,
and All Might didn't look completely defeated this time.
As every other week he had spoken those cursed words, 'not yet,' this time no one said anything, giving All Might every ounce of their intention when the former hero, started, "Actually.."
It had been four months and sixteen days since you disappeared from the very building they were living in
italics - then,
normal - now
Chapter 4: ELEGAIC;
VIOLENCE AND RAPE TOWARDS THE END
adjective - expressing sadness, especially because someone has died or because something no longer exists
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
"Anything new, All Might?"
Aoyama questioned, hands resting by his sides, his stance saying he probably already knew the answer when All Might had come by again to look after his students. He almost felt like a parent - and he didn't really mind that either - and so he grabbed Aoyama's thin shoulder, comfortingly, the smaller blondes eyes widened because this was different,
and All Might didn't look completely defeated this time.
As every other week he had spoken those cursed words, 'not yet,' this time no one said anything, giving All Might every ounce of their intention when the former hero, started, "Actually.."
It had been four months and sixteen days since you disappeared from the very building they were living in.
"What is it?" Tenya made his way towards the retired hero, Uraraka, hesitant, made her way from the couch towards the entrance where All Might stood with a determined look on his face. His eyes found hers easily, giving a small and almost reassuring smile as if to say everything was going to be okay. She wasn't too sure of that though, saddened because she didn't know if she was going to be okay with words anymore. They just weren't enough.
Sure enough, Tsuyu was right behind her, ensuring the brunette that she wasn't alone and practically everyone crowded around their idols. Midoriya watched from beside Bakugou, almost in the back of the group and he was really hoping that his greatest hero wasn't about to talk to them to make them feel better. That time seemed like it was over now. Now it was just a hallowing sadness that made him sick and unable to sleep at night.
Bakugou could see it by the way the skin under his eyes had gone darker over time. He was sloppy too, not paying attention to other people when his mind drifted to unnecessary things. See, Bakugou was focused on his negative emotions with the intention of having them clear his mind and fuel his strength in order to save you and kill those villains who took you away.
He used his anger to always remember what he wanted to do and he knew he couldn't do anything if he wasn't eating or sleeping properly. Midoriya was too focused on the past, remembering how silent it had been when you were swiped from them, remembering all those ongoing theories in his mind and hopefully trying to find a connection or a clue to get closer to you. With no leads, it was so difficult and Midoriya felt so helpless. He was supposed to be a hero, they were all heroes and that was all they wanted, was to help people. And they couldn't even get to you. The feeling, knowing that he was this much of a failure was so disheartening that even his own mothers words could do nothing to salvage his broken heart.
Uraraka approached him with slow steps, sliding right beside him and having her own shoulder touch his, as soon as the boy noticed it was her, he reached down to slide his hand into hers, squeezing with comfort and nerves. Tokoyami and Shoji were close by too, the two of them hoping for anything but still not expecting anything good. They had been living with false hope and high expectation for so long that it was just exhausting. But still, there was no giving up in sight.
Even after everything that had happened in and outside their home in the dorms.
News channels only briefly mentioned you anymore, they barely your name on the radio because of the way you disappeared without a single trace. Some journalists even spoke about how your abduction was a perfect crime because no amount of forensics and crime professionals could find anything in your dorm room or even out on the streets around the area. Police dogs smelled your clothes and were on a trail before guiding the police to a random location that ended up leading to nothing.
The signs that people in the neighbourhood had put together with your face on a missing poster were becoming unrecognisable as time passed too. Weather, time and other common things like that caused a lot of your posters to end up being ripped off somehow, thrown in the drains or just having something else put over it.
It was like the city was moving on without you and Sero, along with Kaminari were not having it at all. Shredding posters that were stuck onto yours and effectively printing more to put them on store windows and fences. Littering wasn't cool but Bakugou would tag along to make sure watch with satisfaction at the determination on Sero and Kaminari's faces when they threw away some useless paper to put your smiling face there. Kirishima, as always, would go along too, to make sure no one got in their way and to inform other people of how special you were, and how they were trying so hard to get you back, and to make sure people called them or the police if they knew anything.
"I'm so sorry for your loss," people on the street would say, surely they had seen the story on the news, it had been so long that they had most likely come to the worst conclusion, "oi, you asshole, she ain't dead or anythin,'" When they would awkwardly look away from Bakugou's glare, the blonde would glower with rage after the people left in a haste.
"I watched her on the tv on the day of the festival thing.." some elderly people would comment, Kirishima filled them in quickly, "Oh, the Sports Festival, yeah, she did amazing." The elder woman smiled regrettably, "it's a shame, she would have made a great hero.." Kirishima's proud grin turned to a sour, small frown, "right..."
These comments were becoming a normal thing. That you were a person of the past because it had been half a year since you had vanished and it was almost like they were supposed to just go on without you. That wasn't an option.
Not till two people actually might've considered it.
"I'm not saying she's... dead." The boy huffed, his patience wearing thin but he was determined to say his part because he was truly fearful that what was on a lot of peoples mind might actually be accurate.
"Oh yeah, then what the fuck are you saying, you half 'n' half bastard?"
Todoroki didn't mean to rile anyone up... He didn't mean for Midoriya to stare at him with such a look of betrayal that he had to avoid looking at him and he didn't mean for Uraraka to have her eyes fill with tears. He didn't mean for Kirishima to look at him like a distressed child and he certainly didn't mean to have their safe space become a war zone. But to his surprise someone else spoke up and said something he certainly wasn't expecting,
"I... regrettably agree with Todoroki-kun." Tokoyami was absolutely gloomy, his gaze unable to meet anyone but the fire and ice hero. Todoroki was surprised to say the least as he was afraid that he had been the only one thinking something so horrible,
"To-Tokoyami..?" Shoji looked down at his friend, eyes wide though having half of his face covered. Everyone was looking at the two of them now, "No way, y-you're not serious, right?" Jirou asked in disbelief, her voice strained yet angered because maybe these types of words had been expressed in the news, or maybe on the internet, but the students - your own class - were supposed to be the ones who didn't give up,
"I'm not saying I'm... giving up but this false hope, it's just frustrating." Todoroki looked at the ground, his sights stayed there while he confessed his thoughts when they had previously been watching the news together as the anchors talked about you like you were already six feet underground.
"As I'm sure Todoroki-kun is saying, also, I believe that while we keep faith that... [Name]-san is alive, I think it would be helpful to also think about the notion that we could already be too late.."
Tokoyami sighed, he was sure that no one had thought about this before but you went missing half a year ago now and it wasn't getting any easier. You had missed so much school, your desk always empty and unable to look away from and they were becoming second-year students soon. Your parents were still mourning, praying that their only child would come home and no one could imagine how it felt to lose a child.
"It's hard..." Midoriya thought Todoroki resembled the same boy who refused to make friends when they started school when he was so hateful towards his Father, it saddened him but the viridian-haired boy refused to believe what his close friend was confessing, it didn't even sound possible,
"but I think we might have to accept the possibility that maybe she's gone." He sounded utterly defeated, "there haven't been any leads... no evidence and no suspects, either, it's almost as if she's just up and disappeared into thin air.." He hated that he had to be the one to say this, possibly bruising everyones resolve, but he was somewhat relieved that he wasn't completely alone either.
Tokoyami nodded solemnly, unable to hide his remorse for saying something that seemed so taboo, especially when he could so clearly recall such great times with you.
He was trying to watch the television but it was hard to difficult when someone was sneaking up on him and not being really subtle about it. Ojiro was seated beside him though he clearly had a good view of you when he noticed Ojiro with a face of confusion before nodding a little as if to hide it. He was smiling a little, like he was restraining himself and it didn't help that he could see your reflection from the television screen, too.
He thought it was comical how you thought you were being so secretive. The common area was so quiet, he was sure everyone knew what was going to happen and just as you tried to jump right behind him and scare him, it was you, instead, who had gotten scared out of their wits.
"AAAARRRRHHHHHOOOHH my GOD!?"
Screaming at the top of your lungs when your ass stumbled back to the floor, your plan had massively backfired when Dark Shadow made a sudden appearance, popping out right in front of you with a screech that had your heart leaping out of your rib cage. Your hand was placed on your chest, as if to calm your thundering heartbeat and the parasitic shadow had the audacity to snicker at you, "How dare you!"
"I beg your pardon?" Tokoyami had shuffled up the couch to look over and see you on the floor, Dark Shadow was floating in between you and himself, your eyes hardened,
Even Tokoyami cracked a smile and Tenya ran straight towards the couch, yelling as he abruptly stopped once he saw the scene, "What is going on here?!"
"This- This parasite almost killed me of a heart attack!"
"You take that back." Dark Shadow murmured darkly, Tokoyami stood up and rounded the couch, his hand outstretched towards you, "Dark Shadow doesn't really like being called a parasite."
He watched you glare at the shadow with narrowed eyes, "Tokoyami, he's the one who scared me!"
Dark Shadow counted, "You're the one who was gonna scare him."
"A harmless prank!"
"Just like what I did," the shadow, smaller in size due to the light in the room, huffed and even had the audacity to cross his arms towards you, Tokoyami watched as if a parent watching to children fighting, "that was hardly the same!"
"I think it was exactly the same, [Name]-san..." Ojiro spoke up and you couldn't even stay annoyed anymore, thinking back on it, it was actually pretty funny... the same thing happened seven more times after that...
(within the span of a week)
You were always trying to scare him and it sufficiently brought the two of you closer. After getting scared instead of doing the scaring, the two of you would sit together, and sometimes Dark Shadow would decide to stay and chat as well. He was surprised that you weren't really scared of him as other people had been in his junior high. Tokoyami quite enjoyed listening to how Dark Shadow admired you and your tenacity. The shadow monster also telepathically admitted that he liked spending time with you because you were 'a great source of entertainment.' That seemed like enough to be able to call you his friend.
Nothing brought him more sadness than admitting that you might be dead somewhere completely unknown while no one even knew about it. Killed and left alone somewhere completely unknown, it brought him so much pain and he just felt sick thinking about it. Dark Shadow hadn't come out as much as he used to, it was like he was mourning too.
It grew quiet after that. Bakugou was seething in rage though, seeing red while grinding his teeth as he looked like a beast but Todoroki full expected it to happen. Tokoyami had walked away alone to isolate himself in his darkened room while the blonde went off, his voice reverberating throughout the floors,
"The fucking audacity! You fucking shit excuse of a person, you wanna give up before even getting anything, huh? I didn't know you always half-assed things but I guess we should've expected that by the way you gave up in the sports festival too, huh?" Todoroki didn't understand he was mentioning that but he supposed it would be quite frustrating if his opponent didn't give his all when Bakugou was giving one hundred and ten percent.
"No! You don't get to speak, fucker! I'm," he jabbed his own chest with his thumb, "not giving up because I'm a hero and she's my fucking friend! After all the shit she helped me with, I would be absolute scum if I even thought about thinking that bullshit! You do what you want, just don't drag people down with you, asshole."
Remorseful, afraid and dejected, Todoroki nodded because there wasn't anything he could really say that. He simply made his way around his classmates and left towards the elevators, muttering apologies as he went as he knew no one would stop him. And no one spoke after that, most of them were in disbelief that that had even happened. It got some of them thinking, no matter how much they didn't want to and it got others feeling like they had to work harder.
Hence why Bakugou left with a vein protruding up his neck when he left the building with a bang, muttering something about the gym and Kirishima went too, Midoriya as well, as well as Uraraka and Kaminari and then Sero. Momo and Jirou left up to their rooms as did everyone else, dispersing in an awkward, heavy silence.
“There’s finally been a breakthrough, it was difficult to get because the elderly woman didn’t realise it but she said that she saw our [Name]-san on the night she disappeared.”
“You’re serious..?” Jirou murmured, side-by-side a glassy-eyed Yaoyorozu, everyone had breathed in quickly and simultaneously, hearts hammering in their chests in unison because this was the only news they’ve wanted to hear since the beginning.
“Well don’t stop there! Keep going!!” Bakugou bellowed, annoyed by the suspense, All Might took a moment to admire the fire in his students eyes and continued on, “the lady says she remembers hearing a girl possibly screaming so she went outside to look and says that she recalls five people but she didn’t think much of it,” All Might regrettably admitted, remembering that he vowed he would share everything with his students, the nations' future heroes, “she said that she thought it might’ve been teenagers just being teenagers,”
“What the fuck?!” Bakugou, again, yelled and Kirishima spoke just as he did, “how could that even..?”
They didn’t understand how a girl being abducted could even resemble young people messing around. Hakagure and Ashido held hands and Sero couldn’t stop biting his fingernails with anxiety.
“.. yes, and she believed that heroes would go there if need be, but she seems to be the only witness from that night.” All Might continued, his face showing clear disapproval of what he knew, “it’s common among civilians to stand by when others are in need because they think someone else will get to them... this woman is quite frail as well,”
“Wha- so the lady just saw what was going on and brushed it off?” Kaminari was almost ecstatic as he said what everyone was thinking. “The police believe the witness only spoke up because she thought the victim looked a bit like [Name] from when the Sports Festival was on television.”
“So... she didn’t see where they went?” Ashido was discouraged by her own question, not sure how to feel about a possible dead end after something was finally changing.
“Wh-where did this happen? Where is the lady?”
“No, All Might, we deserve this, I’m going to see it for myself, okay? I have to! This is the first lead we’ve gotten and I hate it!”
Midoriya continuously raised his voice as he spoke, silently gaining the approval of his friends because they all collectively knew this had to be done. Even if All Might denied them, they would still find a way.
And unlike Aizawa, All Might was more than willing to let them take initiative under these circumstances.
"The missing girl? Y-You mean [Lastname] [Name]?" The police dispatcher on the phone sounded completely baffled and the girl watched her Grandma with a nervous expression, "Yes, her, my Grandma is saying that she remembers seeing her months ago with some people, she just assumed they were kids messing around but she remembers seeing that girls face."
The police arrived to the complete opposite side of Tokyo, somewhere hidden from the moderately busy streets and then a couple of heroes came as well. The elder lady, Okimi, spoke to the police and told them everything she saw. There was Tsukaichi there, and following him was Tsukauchi and along with him came the well-known big three, Togata, Amajiki and Hado, and behind them was All Might.
"Please," Mirio pleaded, "tell us everything you know."
Tsukauchi stood by with Mirio, All Might wasn't a long distance behind him, the officer looked back at him, "you shouldn't be here, Toshinori." All Might didn't answer, completely absorbed with what really mattered and Tsukauchi had to let it slide.
As a whole, the class were simply in disbelief by the recent news. Was what All Might had told them for real? What was going to happen now? Was that all the police got? Were there any clues around the area, because now they knew a bit about where it had actually happened, or they were finally on a trail closer to you. While a lot of the class were more than content with planning their strategy over the next few days or so, Todoroki was a man on a mission.
He had dressed in clothes that were easiest to move in, and he had gotten his running shoes out too. He made sure his phone was fully charged and he would not be deterred by what he had in mind. He had stayed in his room for the entirety of the afternoon after All Might had left them once again to go home and now that he was sure everyone would be in their rooms or having sleepovers in other peoples rooms, he was finally ready to leave. The waiting was making him restless so when he ripped open the door of his dorm, he was shocked to find two people staring at him with an expression similar to his own,
"Wh-what are you both doing?"
The two people who were almost always butting heads stood beside each other as all three of them were thinking the same thing, "I figured you of all people would be gettin' out there first thing, you think you're gonna beat me or something? Damn IcyHot." Bakugou clicked his tongue and Midoriya just stared, ready to leave when Todoroki was, "We're ready to go."
The three of them made their way to the elevator and went to the ground floor in silence, a comforting yet apprehensive one because something was different now. They had a location that could pinpoint to you and they wouldn't be swayed. No one knew of this, and they intended to keep it that way because neither of them would risk losing this chance.
Even if they could do this again tomorrow, or the next night, now was their intuitions were yelling at them to go, find something, think like them and think of where they would be. If thinking like a villain would get them where they wanted to be, then to hell with being a hero. They left the dorms and went onto the streets, it was dark and kind of cold too, not a problem for the two fire quirk users and Midoriya wasn't focused on that at all. All he could think about was how you had been on this trail as well, against your will, and supposedly screaming, as the police said.
This was still classified information that even the press didn't know yet, that would be released tomorrow at a press conference held by the leading officer on your investigation.
The further they walked, the darker it got. There was no life and the three of them were completely okay with that. They were heroes, this is what heroes had to do, they were completely okay with this. If it was for your sake, then they would do it without even thinking about it. Especially Todoroki because he would give anything to be proven wrong about his initial statements. Shortly after admitting such a horrific thing to his class, his friendships became slightly strained but that was to be expected, he thought.
One by one, they paused. This was the place, right? Midoriya looked up ahead, a street sign read Ichikawa-shi, and they were right on the edge of the Tokyo and Chiba prefecture, "Th-this is it, right?"
"Shut up, Deku."
Bakugou was lost within the darkness of the alley, "obviously it is.." his voice echoed and Midoriya wordlessly followed him, "Ah, Kacchan.. be careful.."
"Quiet.. Midoriya," Todoroki answered, going around another street to circle and scale the buildings surrounding them. Midoriya walked deeper into the alley, his skin growing hypersensitive as his eyes grew wide as he tried to see through the blackness. He couldn't see Kacchan and it frightened him, he didn't want anything to happen to him, and he also didn't want to lose him.
The boy sped forward without thinking, his legs running in further to the darkness and he didn't even know if a wall was in front of him because he just heard that voice in panic and started running and Todoroki sped around the corner to get out his phone because it was easy to pick up Bakugou's panicked curse in the silence, he switched on his torch and stepped in cautiously, his shoulders slumping when he caught sight of Bakugou and Midoriya struggling in familiar capture, cloth-like equipment that lead straight to their homeroom teacher.
The teacher sighed in utter distaste and released the two boys on the floor. The two of them got up wordlessly, until Bakugou scrambled up to growl at his teacher, "what the fu-"
Midoriya's mouth snapped closed and he wasn't even the one talking, "how did I know it would be you three out here, huh?" Aizawa's capture weapons floated back to his neck and he approached the three with that same exhausted look in his eyes, "the hell are you doin' out here, creep!" Bakugou actually whisper-yelled but that stupid question was ignored, "you three are going back to the dorms and then I'll punish you all tomorrow. You should know how dangerous this is, I'm responsible for you, and how do you think it'll look when someone sees three of my goddamned students searching for the one who was taken, huh?
They lowered their heads, realising their mistake.
Aizawa's eyes were red, his hair floating upwards where it stayed because he looked intimidating this way (even if he still looked just as intimidating without the piercing, red eyes and gravity-defying hair) and Midoriya tried to reason with him, "but we're-"
The boy's heart shook a little, "I'm walking you all back."
Aizawa was angry. Bakugou walked ahead of them and Todoroki walked beside Midoriya wish Aizawa following behind. On the way there, the walk seemed like thirty minutes but on the way back, it felt like thirty minutes had passed and they weren't even halfway yet. The boys were confused, they didn't know what to do. They felt so helpless.
"Just leave it, Midoriya.."
The man sounded defeated.
"I- just... what were you doing there?"
It went silent for a few seconds, Midoriya was a little too nervous to look back at his daunting teacher slash hero, "Doing the same thing you were, problem child." Bakugou halted, spinning around in a flash, "Huh? Then let's just go back and all look around!" The man narrowed his eyes and Bakugou clicked his tongue, returning back to walking ahead of everyone.
"Sensei.. you look more tired than usual."
"What did I just say?" He answered Todoroki quickly, they didn't get it till Midoriya thought about it for a moment, letting himself unintentionally mutter,
"I- just... what were you doing there?"
"Doing the same thing you were, problem child."
"Sensei.. you look more tired than usual."
The One For All user gaped, "Sensei! Have you been doing this a lot?!" Aizawa sighed, of course he would figure it out like that, so fast, "I can't sleep, not that it's any of your business, so I do what I can. You think I'm just going to sit by and do nothing?" Midoriya felt like he shouldn't have heard that. it felt private coming from his own teacher, but he had no idea that Aizawa was doing anything like this. No wonder, he was an underground hero, after all, and that information made the three younger, slightly inexperienced boys feel a bit more reassured.
Tamotsu spoke the girls' name as if she was his deity. He watched her unmoving body with glee because the building was empty today, Neiken and Hide were off doing something on their own while Akuma had other issues to tend to, mainly his work so he could continue experimenting on the girl.
She didn't answer, he gave her a reason to, nudging the body on the dirty floor with his dirty sneakers, "Oy, answer me, you dirty slut."
She moaned softly, a single line coming from her throat that had gone raw from the amount of screaming she had done without control because of the serums and tests she had to endure.
"Hey, hey," he grinned down at her, she didn't see it, staring at the ceiling with a dazed look on her face, like she wasn't even there anymore, "nobody is here, you know what that means, huh?" His hands went to the buckle of his pants, undoing them in a haste as he folded the belt in half and held it in one hand.
"You gonna be a good girl for me, right?" Her arm moved, as if attempting to say no but her body wasn't in her control anymore. It was numb, everything felt like nothing. Except for the pain. Why the pain? Why couldn't the pain just stop? Tamotsu leaned down and grabbed her leg, moving her so that she laid on her stomach, reaching for her pants as he ripped them down, his nails digging into her thighs as he scratched without meaning to, but still liking the fact that he did. The red marks and the blood made it more exciting.
She heard his zipper going down next. Groaning with half of her face squished into the floor, her cheek was rubbing into the dirty mixed with her own drool, "you're so good to me, [Name]-chan," he intruded and whipped her simultaneously, she was nothing but a doll.
I hope this makes sense!!:)
Chapter 5: PRETA;
noun - a wandering or disturbed ghost
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
The date was March ninth. The big three and the police entered the location that you were being held in. Just as it was to be expected, the room was dark and smelled horrible, like rotting flesh and had a sour, metallic scent of blood that had most of them cringing, some of the police officers had to stay outside because of the stench.
There were multiple forensic scientists in the room as well, they all had to walk around the huge ice sculpture that took up almost all of what looked like a science lab. There was a metal table; where dead people normally lay in the morgue, with straps on the side to strap a person down but this one was half engulfed by ice, the frozen water looked like it had exploded upwards with sharp, pointed ends and at the end of one spike, there was a decaying body, possibly two weeks old.
The floor was painted in a dark, red colour. There were splotches everywhere. The leader of the group was in their custody while there had only been another body found despite the witness revealing that there had been four of them. Everything was still a mystery but it had also been partially solved.
Mirio was filled to the brink with sympathy for the first year girl who had been taken six months ago. Tamaki couldn't go inside, he was focused on the rescue part of the mission and looking around the location of the crime wasn't something he particularly wanted to do. Hado stayed outside with him, she couldn't fathom being able to stay in such a space for one hundred and ninety-five days, it sounded completely horrifying. She was just glad that the victim was finally receiving hospital treatment.
One Hour Earlier.
Frozen faces watched the television screen. No one could move a muscle, in complete disbelief by what was being displayed on the screen. It was a live feed of the end of the investigation. Midoriya's fists were clenched when he saw the police busting open a dark and seemingly fragile door though it actually took about six hits to slam it open. Bakugou watched, his back tensing as his eyes were blown wide, sitting by Kirishima who had gasped, unmoving with his lips parted.
Kaminari shrieked a loud, "Oh my god!" And then he kept watching too, everyone was just watching, looking at how the police busted into the building, appearing small and hidden on the outside but they had no idea what was inside. They didn't really know if they wanted to see it.
Uraraka was tearing up, Yaoyorozu had started crying and Tsuyu held them, her own tears building on her eyelids while Ashido sobbed. There was still no confirmation that you were alive or not, the news anchor was slightly panicking, stumbling about how someone called the police in this building and there was no answer, the person had pressed some of the keys on the keypad of the phone and the police dispatcher quickly realised that this person may have been in a situation where they couldn't speak.
'this is the Japanese National Police, how may I help you?'
'this is the police, is anyone there?'
'...okay, it's 1 for police, 2 for fire and 3 for an ambulance, can you press what you need for me?'
'alright, that's good, I'll have police come to your location, 4 means yes and 5 means no, can I ask you some questions?'
'alright, police are heading your way, are you hurt? do you need an ambulance?'
'okay, is there anyone around you?'
'are they the person who hurt you?'
'.....4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4,-'
'Okay, it's alright, we're coming for you, you'll be okay.'
The news released the call as well, everyone in class 2-a watched in fear as they tried to decipher anything that might have sounded like you. There was nothing but something scuffling as if you were frantic and hiding. Then the screen went back to the location of the crime, the police had already rushed in and someone was being taken out, his head bowed down due to the cameras. Everyone stared at the man who had taken part in your abduction, his role in the whole thing hadn't been revealed yet.
"There's another one, we need a stretcher in here!"
One of the police yelled over to the men rushing from the ambulance. They ran inside the dark building while the man in handcuffs was brought away from the scene, and as the cameras zoomed in on him, it was incredibly nerve-wracking to see how normal the man looked. He was just wearing grey suit pants and a navy blue button up shirt, as if he was just another businessman. It was utterly disturbing to know that you had been locked up with this man for half a year when they had no idea what could be going on in his mind.
Minutes that seemed dragged on for eternity finally halted to a stop. Everything felt like it had stopped when the television screen showed the only thing they had been dreaming of seeing. It was so heartbreaking. It brought an ugly shiver down Uraraka's spine. Todoroki looked so angry, his eyes hard and a demeaning frown on his face while Midoriya hiccupped, his chest feeling as if was going to implode from inside his chest, his heart hurt.
Bakugou couldn't look away, fire growing in his eyes when his palms started popping small crackers, the sound of fire crackling overpowered the sound of Ashido's sobbing that she tried to hold in. Everybody saw the same thing and reacted in their own way, and it was conflicting because there were two things that everyone had in common at that moment, watching you being rolled towards the ambulance on a stretcher; one, is that they were all so relieved that you were finally back, and alive and two, they were all so angry and the knowledge that they knew they had failed you weighed so heavy on their hearts.
You were there, the reporters and paramedics confirmed it was you.
Entirely dishevelled in every sense of the word. They couldn't see much of your body because an emergency blanket provided by the medics had been put on you but your face was so dazed, scarred and almost unrecognisable. Your hair was so dirty and matted, your body was so fragile-looking, you had lost so much weight, your eyes were so sunken in and it was like everything you were looking at was all a hallucination, your lips were blue, cheekbones jutted out as did your clavicles too, because of the immense weight loss.
Your skin was scarred and littered in all kinds of evidence of the abuse you endured.
Bruises, yellow and purple and scars, pink and so bright amongst your white, almost bluish complexion It was like you were a ghost, your heart stopped, floating in purgatory.
Everything was so blurry.... everything was so loud, nothing was making sense and it was so bright that you couldn't even keep your eyes open but you also refused to sleep under any circumstances. One moment you were in the dark, partially alone with a cellphone held so tight between your own fingers that you were slightly worried it would crack. Pressing the numbers that would call the people who were meant to save you had been amongst the scariest moments of your time here. And that said a lot seeing as you couldn't even remember what it was like to be outside of this place. This place had somehow become your home, where you felt the safest and also as if your life was constantly in danger.
What was it like outside? The outside didn't exist anymore.
But now? Now you were somewhere on something soft. The time between then (being inside your home) and now (being in this bright building with people and windows...?) It was so scary. You couldn't stop moaning and groaning. People kept touching you, stabbing you and defiling you, you wanted it to stop but you were so disoriented since being with Akuma that you had no idea what was happening. Everything was so blurry, nothing was understandable. People went in and out these doors and you wondered how the hell you got here.
Did you really call the police? Did you really get Neiken's phone? This wasn't real, no, no way, this was just another one of Akuma's experiments. You were sure. The groaning continued, you saw a girl next to you. Why did your mind make you believe that you were in a hospital room? There was a window as well, your mind was so cruel but you supposed if there was any way to escape your torment, this would do it.
Your mind created the simulation that the nurse was kind, soft and gentle to you, using a wet cloth to wipe over your skin but it felt like fire and knives on you, poisonous to your skin when your brain spluttered and flashed between the way Tamotsu would touch you, violating your body as he pleased and back to this, how the nurse was gently moving the damp cloth over your arms, around your upper chest and cleaning the grim, dirty and dried blood on your face. She even went as far as to wet the cloth and then wring it, wiping down your legs as well, her voice echoed, but you heard two voices,
"That's it, [Name]-san, everything is fine, you poor girl."
"U-Ugh, that's it baby, you feel so g-good for me, al-always so t-tigh-ah~..."
The nurse noted how you were becoming more and more restless, your malnourished body moving in an attempt to get away, your hoarse voice becoming louder, more conscious and panicked, "Do-Doctor!"
Seconds later, two more people rushed in, the nurse was trying to hold your legs down as you nearly hit her, you didn't even realise. Your mind was still locked back in your home with Tamotsu's dirty hands grabbing you, touching you in places that weren't meant to be touched, placing his fingers in places that were supposed to be protected and not desecrated.
The doctors watched your body scramble, your back lifting off of the bed even though you were still high with dangerous amounts of a tranquillising drug in your system, "Alright, alright, [Name]-san, everything is okay, we're here to help you."
"I'm only doing this to help you, my angel," Akuma's voice was so loud that you yelped and your neck snapped to the right to see nothing, even though he was speaking right into your ear, the doctor took note of this, "she'll need to be sedated. Her heart rate is spiking dangerously," The nurse hurried, grabbed the serum and a needle as she prepared it for the doctor, he aided in holding you down, you were screaming now,
"No! Nooo~!!" Screams, painful and filled with absolute terror, echoed on the whole sixth floor for doctors, patients and visitors to hear, stopping what they were doing in a sudden and shocking panic, "pl-please.." you were getting choked up, eyes closing but you forced them awake, voice broken and destroyed, as if you hadn't spoken before this moment for months - nothing but moaning in pain and possibly calling out for an angel of death to hear and have mercy on you.
The needle was already in your shoulder, you didn't even feel it. There were so many track marks on you, it was sickening to the nurses to see, filled with pity towards you. The doctor looked down on you with great sadness as you had plenty of visitors waiting on you.
While you slept, the nurse could finally clean you. She took advantage of your unconscious state to use the wet cloth and clean you, getting rid of your clothes that were so worn and filthy that they were simply falling apart, deeply embedded with patches of blood and other splotches of other questionable bodily fluids. They were taken away to the forensic labs to determine what they were, and it would probably take a few days to determine what they were.
After clothing you in the hospital-provided clothing, the nurse was quite against strapping you to the bed as well. She ensured the straps weren't tight but it hurt her morals because of the scars that were already present on your wrists and above your ankles - evidence that you have been strapped down to a bed before when god knows what happened to you when you laid there without any means of escape.
The Doctor sighed to himself before finally opening the door to your room, leaving, and closing it behind him because just down the hall, the entire waiting room near the main desk on that floor was full of people. And below at the entrance of the hospital was full of vans and people with cameras and microphones, the press were just waiting or anyone who knew you to come down and say anything to give to the public about your story.
"You're all here for [Lastname] [Name]?" Your parents rushed to the front of the crowd, Aizawa and All Might behind and behind them was the entirety of class 2-a.
"Ye-Yes, she's our daughter," your dad cried, and your other dad held his hand in a tight grasp, "I would like to say she's okay, even a little, but that would be a lie."
Everyone watched with apprehension, "I'm Doctor Akihito, [Lastname]-san's doctor, she only got here less than an hour ago and she was very disoriented with dangerously large amounts of a tranquillising drug known as Midazolam; which is a very fast acting drug, in her system so we haven't been able to perform any tests on her as of yet. She is very fragile, hysterical and paranoid, she's also shown signs of seeing hallucinations and I believe she's unable to decipher what's real or not. She'll have to rest for a few days and her nurse has enthusiastically agreed to aid your daughter in some short-term recovery."
"my god.." All Might murmured, severely displeased by the information though he wasn't sure at all about what to expect. A sour look appeared on the doctors face, your father asked carefully, "wh-what else?"
"I'm-.. she was going in and out of consciousness and becoming very panicked, she almost went into shock so we were forced to sedate her. Her nurse has taken her clothes and we gave them to the police officers that accompanied her in order to have them analysed. The nurse is cleaning her and clothing her, she doesn't have any physical injuries but there are signs of some sort of surgery that were performed on her."
The doctor always hated this part, seeing the faces' on the victims loved ones was always difficult when people were crying whereas others resorted to anger as well,
"She has beyond multiple track marks and signs of healed bones that had been broken, my guess is that the villains who did this also had a doctor along with them, perhaps." The doctor looked at the faces that watched him, so many students, kids your age that looked completely heartbroken. He continued, "she's also very malnourished, considering the place she was being held in, that was to be expected."
Your Dad's were experiencing their worst nightmare, right behind the night they discovered you were kidnapped, "whe-when can we see her..?" Your Dad, Tomoharu, murmured but he already expected they wouldn't be able to see you now, "I'd say a week would be best. We're going to try our best to clean her systems and have her fully sentient within that time frame so that hopefully after that we can bring in some familiar faces. But please," Dr. Akihito paused, ensuring everyone knew how detrimental this was, "we are doing our best because she is a future hero and she deserves it above all else," he glanced at All Might, "but don't expect good results on the first try."
You were sedated on midday on the ninth of March and woke up on the tenth at ten twenty-seven. Eyes opening with a start as you looked around, utterly confused because you were in the same place as yesterday. "Wha.."
Alone, in the hospital room, your gaze looked down to your feet, nothing there but bandages around your toes that had been slightly fractured because of the contraption that brought a blinding pain through your whole body when you tried to use your quirk. Frightened, you lifted a weak hand and saw cold air raising from your fingers, a tinge of pain had your eyes scrunching closed - even with the contraption off. It was kind of like a clamp that covered your toe - the toe that had the single joint in people who had quirks - and when you tried to use your quirk with that clamp on, it made your body light on fire with pain, it ensured that you didn't use your quirk once in the time that you spent with Akuma and his lackeys.
The mist went away, you didn't want to use your quirk.
The door opened, your eyes widened when you hid your hand, "No. N-mmmm"," you had to look away, trying to hid behind your pillow that you ripped from behind your neck, it was quiet. The same door closed. You wanted to scream to make it stop but that never did anything and making noise always made it hurt more, you stopped, and hummed as you hid your face because this hallucination felt so damn real and you swore this couldn't be real and it frightened you so badly because you hadn't seen Akuma and Tamostu in so long.
The silence stretched and you glanced upwards timidly, tired and listening to your hammering heartbeat, "[Name]." You refused to answer, a ball of cotton lodged in your throat didn't let you, "My name is Satsuki, I'm going to be your attending nurse from now on so if you need anything, you can ask me, alright?"
i'll be punished if I speak, I'll get hurt, don't do it, don't hurt me, I don't want this-
It was quite startling to see how alert you actually were after all that had happened. Normally victims would be exhausted beyond belief after a traumatic experience like this but it was almost like the sedative they had given you only made you pass out just for you to be the same the next day. It was like your body was still in a flight mode, wanting to get away but always, always paranoid and aware of your surroundings. Satsuki guessed it was due to what your kidnappers put you through, always making you alert because of what they did to you.
"Your Doctor, Dr. Akihito is working hard to make sure the police wait until you're ready to speak and I'll be helping you with whatever you need, alright?"
Still, you wouldn't speak, though the pillow wasn't being as tightly held to your face anymore, though you were still holding it below your chin, "I know it was hard..." the nurse continued, unprompted as her words went through one ear and out the other, "but you'll be okay, alright? You have a lot of people who are counting on your recovery so I promise you won't get hurt anymore, [Name]."
she keeps saying [Name]... is that me? that.. is me, right..?
why does she keep lying?
why is this person in front of me, saying these lies, when I know he's watching.
when I wake up, i'll just be back on Akuma's table, strapped down and choking on the gap that he wraps around my head to keep my screams from being so loud.
when will I stop seeing things that aren't real...
okay, if things seem confusing and all over the place, then that's kind of the intention because reader is drugged up and confused about everything and she has no perception of what's real or not. bits and pieces will come back to her as she recovers.
hope you enjoy!
- also, i just noticed that one of tags was Bakugou/Kirishima, but it was meant to be Kirishima/Kaminari, so I fixed it.
Chapter 6: ANHEDONIA;
graphic violence & verbal abuse
ANHEDONIA; noun - the loss of interest and enjoyment in all activities that you once liked; the feeling of not caring anymore.
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
The nurse lady said a lot of things you didn't understand. Everything just sort of seemed like a big dream but not in a good way. You were so hazy, it was like you were floating all the time, staring into nothing while waiting for Akuma to bring you back again. Your vision was blurry too, you didn't know why but that nurse sat next to you and she kept talking, why was she talking? Why were you imagining this lady that you had never seen before?
"So many of your friends are waiting for you to get better, [Name], they care for you so much."
"don't worry, cutie, i'll take good care of you,"
With a silent dread, you sat in your bed staring at the wall ahead of you. It was almost like you weren't in your own body anymore, looking at this place you were trapped in through someone else's eyes that made everything look so... foreign. Nothing was normal and everything was so out of place and uncomfortable. Your chest felt so tight, it had been ever since you had 'woken up' from your sleep that they forced on you. It must have been Akuma as he always decided when the experiment was over or not, if you woke up earlier than he wanted you to then he would simply give you more depressants that made you fall in between unconsciousness and being awake, it threw you off immensely when you couldn't even decipher the floor from the ceiling and it always made it so much easier for Tamotsu to have his way with you as well.
It made the pain go away too. Too drugged up to feel anything.
"[Name], are you with me?"
This was surely the excruciating hell you had been put through in Akuma's experiments. The dreams, terrors and the hallucinations were always different but always hurt so much. After being with him for so long, you knew that he had some sort of extensive knowledge with quirks and chemistry and creating weird, inhumane serums to alter a persons natural quirk in some way.
"Stay with me, my darling, I'm going to make you so strong!"
He'd tell you. It was going to make you stronger, he said, he'd tell you about the ingredients; what they did and how much he was adding and then he'd take out his needles and strap you down with a reassuring caress to the cheek. You didn't know if he was lying, you had no reason to believe he was but there was also the fact that he had put that ordinary-looking clamp on your toe to keep you from using your quirk.
Was he really doing something to your quirk?
Your mind was so fuzzy.
"[Name], please let me know you're listening, is that okay?"
Nurse Satsuki watched you with sad eyes and a small frown, she was trying and it showed but she just had to remind herself that you had been saved from that place less than forty-eight hours ago. Wounds were still so, so, so ripe. There was no telling what your next move or word could be. She had no idea what you could be thinking when she watched a shell of a girl sitting in front of her as if her soul had already been disintegrated.
What if they were too late? That was always a possibility too. Maybe you had already given up. No, but that couldn't be. Because if you had, then you wouldn't have called the police, right? The fact that you must've thought through a plan and snuck around to get ahold of a phone must mean that you still had hope. You still believed.
So, what were you thinking now?
She tentatively raised a hand and placed it on the bed gently, feeling the cool cotton of the white sheets under her fingers. You didn't react... at all. It was so much different than before when she had entered the room and saw you flinch and hide away the day before. Now you were just sitting there, doing nothing and she wouldn't have even known if you were breathing if she didn't stare for a few seconds longer to make sure nothing had unexpectedly happened while she had left the room for a bit.
It was so terrifying, thinking of what could happen within seconds if she left someone in your circumstances alone. Satsuki's hand didn't move, scared of what could happen if she tried to push her luck, she still kept her distance on the chair beside you.
"... Dr. Akihito wants to perform some tests, can you blink twice if that's alright?"
She stared, and all she heard was the constant sound of the clock hands ticking. A dullness in your eyes made you resemble a porcelain doll, alive but empty. Your heart beating but for what? You weren't even blinking, it appeared, only slowly closing and reopening your eyes with so much time apart, like you were stuck in time while the world continued turning.
"You've been here for a short while now but you'll have to get cleaned properly and perhaps I'll even call your parents to bring you some of your own clothes, would that be good?"
"[Name], I'm afraid this is crucial, we're going have to perform the rape kit... I know it'll be difficult but we're doing this so that we can help you."
It was almost as if you had lost feeling in your limbs. They were becoming numb because of how you seemed to forget that you were completely able-bodied. Nothing made sense. Why was this woman talking. And why was she staying with you. A door opened but the wall seemed like a good enough escape to make this simulation-type situation a little easier. Blocking everyone out so that you could finally blink and then open your eyes to find the familiar lab you knew at home.
"[Name], I'll assume, nurse Satsuki informed you of what we'll be doing?"
Two people walked in with the doctor. They moved around but when something in your bed clicked as the upper half of your mattress started sinking, you flinched and looked around for answers,
"[Name], can you hear me?"
Nothing but wondering eyes, your doctor continued, "I got your parents approval if this was something they wanted to be done, so would you be okay with doing a rape kit for us?"
Dr. Akihito saw the instant fear when your eyes widened for a split second before a small groan rumbled in your throat and you moved your legs up the bed closer to your body, "I know, I'm sorry but it'll help in charging the person who did this to you. I'll also have to find out if there's anything wrong or life-threatening, I promise it won't hurt, you don't have to do anything, alright?"
Groaning some more, your heart was racing but you couldn't speak or else he would hit you. You had to do it, you had to or else he would do something to make it happen, just like he always did. Like when he twisted your limbs until your bones had broken through your skin or when he had grabbed a chair and smashed it down on you, where one of the legs stabbed your eye socket and went all the way through as you choked on your blood when your brain was going insane because of the intrusion.
They laid you back, Satsuki keeping her place beside you as some sort of reassurance, maybe, so that you wouldn't try anything because if you did then she could just grab a scalpel and slice your tongue off and watch you choke to death on it - bringing you back to Akuma in his science lab.
You could feel them touching you, their gloved hands holding you gently just so they could do as they pleased because you had to. You choked on a sob but the nurse just hushed you with a smile.
"You're so strong, it'll be alright, [Name]."
You blocked her out, staring at the ceiling while biting your lips so hard that you tasted blood almost immediately, "Oh my.." she got a tissue and dabbed your red skin. The doctors wiped things on you and you couldn't see anything that was happening, you wouldn't dare see what they were doing to you. Taking what they said were samples. Pressing things on your private parts that had your toes curling and the muscles in your pelvis tensing as if keeping anything from the outside out.
They spoke among themselves but it hurt so much that you only heard that familiar ringing in your ears that seemed to block a lot of things out. The pain was like a bruising only so much worse and it was like you had been permanently taken apart and put together again, no longer a girl who knew what it was like to not be an ignorant girl to these types of sexual things.
Things that should be shared with your future lover.
Things that should be discussed with embarrassing stories surrounding your best friends.
Things that should be memorable and normally sweet.
It felt like it went on forever. Having you lay on that bed with people looking at you. That part was something you already knew but to have it happen again in this room like this was so hurtful. Even if your sobs had turned into a grim line on your lips and your bleeding lip had been forgotten. The numbness took over and your head was in the clouds again.
Dr. Akihito helped to put the things away and made sure his nurses took your results to be tested right away, he had called your parents and told you they were wanting to see you. More than anything in the world, even if it wasn't real, you absolutely loathed the thought of your dads seeing you like this. This wasn't real and you knew you were still lying on a silver table whilst strapped down against your will because everything before that moment was so blurry and unrecognisable.
So, the mere thought of seeing the people who raised you in this type of nightmare would really be enough to make you want to end your life.
You refused. Nonverbally, Dr. Akihito got the idea and accepted easily, Satsuki told you not to worry about it and said you could wait until you were ready. But what did that even mean? When would you be ready? No, rather, when would the hallucinations of the serum wear off? She placed a damp rag on your sweaty forehead and you stared at the ceiling when they put your clothes back on your body. And you were oddly wondering where Tamotsu was. Why hadn't he come for you yet? When was Akuma going to take you from this nightmare? So many dizzying thoughts made your head whirl, your body jumped as your chest felt like it was imploding inside yourself, Satsuki flinched when a yellow liquid was spat from your mouth, stomach acids and water that you had only taken a few sips on. You couldn't trust it.
The tears blurred your vision when you puked all over yourself and the sheets, the sunlight from the window a few metres from you was shining into the room with so much warmth and you couldn't enjoy any of it. You had just gotten vomit everywhere and instead of being struck across the face or left alone in your own puke, Satsuki rushed to wipe your face as quickly as she could before you could react violently and back away. Your body was shaking with unheard sobs and she quietly cleaned the area around you.
Once she deemed it okay, she sprayed some air freshener around you and you held your breath, frightened. there was something in the particles. But once that was done, she went back to your side again. "Do you feel better now?"
You kept holding your breath. You didn't want to breathe, keeping your head down in shame and confusion. What was this? Why wasn't she hurting you? Your chest hurt and it felt like your lungs were burning. Your throat felt so raw too because the sudden bile rose so fast and unexpectedly.
Outside your hospital room.
"Well? How is she? What's going on?" Dr. Akihito looked at [Lastname] Fumiya and Tomoharu with a sullen gaze, his report was in front of him on a clipboard but he didn't need to read the results off of the paper when he remembered the disfigurement of your body so vividly. He had only seen a rare amount of these types of cases and he had regrettably not gotten used to them.
"I'm... It's going to be hard... listening to this and I can't imagine how it must feel so please just..." Within the span of about three days, Tomoharu had never seen your doctor appear so torn. He held his husbands hand and wondered if it was a good choice to give them approval to do a rape kit on you, their precious baby girl.
"When I give you the results, I want you to keep your daughters' recovery in mind, and how crucial it is that she knows she has her parents there for her no matter what." Fumiya's brows hardened, "wha-"
"I'm not doubting your parenting at all... but a lot of parents I have seen, become very caught up in vengeance that they can sometimes overlook the extremely fragile state of mind that their child has."
"Wha-.." Fumiya, initially almost appearing threatened, slowly became saddened, "why can't we go see her..?"
"I'm sorry, I asked if she would like to see you both but she said no. You'll have to be patient, [Lastname]-san."
"The results, please, Doctor." Tomoharu cut in hastily, eyeing the clipboard and the Doctor with a fearful stare, trying to keep it together for so long was getting so hard, "Right." Akihito nodded solemnly, "let's take a seat, then." He guided the two parents the waiting area, sitting in front of them at a small round table by the vending machines as he held the papers with your information close to his chest as it was not for uncertified eyes to see.
"I'll get right to it then." It was almost as if Akihito had been stalling. Tomoharu leaned forward, eyes hard and lips frowning.
"[Lastname] [Name] underwent a three and a half hour rape kit consisting of removing her clothes; her clothes analysis should be back tomorrow at the latest, we also conducted multiple samples as we collected samples from her genitals, rectum, mouth and body surfaces - and of course, we asked for her permission and she allowed the procedure to happen."
Fumiya had started tearing up, just thinking that his teenage daughter had to endure all this alone with strangers after being saved by those monsters who had taken you was enough to give him nightmares. It always helped that he had Tomoharu by his side but it only made him feel so much more guilty as well because you had no one at all.
"After collecting fluids, we had fingernails collected, hair as well as pubic hair, as per the kit, I asked if we could take photographs but she declined and we also had a detective from the investigative team on her case come in to see if she could recall her time whilst being held captive but she was mute the entire time..." Dr. Akihito scratched his forehead, visibly apologetic, "I made sure she knew we could stop at any time but she didn't and Nurse Satsuki was by her side the entire time..."
He paused for a moment to breathe, looking away from the two men watching him like a hawk before finally speaking once more, "Now... Just from looking at her body, she has endured a lot of pain and agony while held against her will. There is scarring around her wrists and ankles that indicate a constant open wound from being strapped down a lot so the wound didn't have enough time to heal. Her left foot was slightly infected but it had been treated and it is healing.." He glanced at his paper, "She also had a lot of mild scarring across her body in general, clear signs of being assaulted constantly and most of the bruises are healing or fading away as more time goes by... uhhmm..."
He continued, reading as he spoke, "she was severely underweight and malnourished when she arrived and she is very hesitant about eating so we are being very patient but there are still signs that she is hallucinating so Satsuki, her nurse, is keeping me updated on when your daughter goes to the toilet to ensure her excretions are a healthy colour because the drugs should be coming out around now..."
"Now, visually assessing her genitals from the rape kit, I'm sorry to say... your daughters' genitals were not in a good condition. There are clear signs of forced entry and bruising and her vaginal opening was very swollen as was her anus. I'm very sorry."
Tomoharu couldn't move, his breathing stopped when Fumiya started sobbing beside him. His ears were ringing but there was nothing around him he could hear. Only the sound of his husbands torn up crying, "wha... is she.."
"The tests will indicate what kind of fluid were in her genitals and what they will mean... it will also show if she has contracted any transmitted infections and the like.. I'm so sorry.." Dr. Akihito lowered his head because the words he told your parents weren't enough to say how shocked he had been when he saw you. When he had slowly spread your legs to start the exam when you let it happen so willingly. It was such a shocking sight, to see how damaged you were.
"Oh.. g-god.." Fumiya spluttered over his tears, "when can I see my daughter..?"
Dr. Akihito didn't want to say the wrong thing but he also didn't want to reveal you to too many things too suddenly because time was always the best thing in recovery, "... I think she might still need a few days.."
Inside hospital room.
It was getting darker now. Satsuki had closed the curtains over the window and she had to take the hospital food back because you wouldn't even look at it. You wouldn't move and she understood that, having accepted that when she spoke, you weren't going to answer or even acknowledge her. It was okay, as long as your eyes were open and your chest was slowly rising and sinking.
She left later that afternoon when the room was only being lit up by a lamp beside you. It was dark, reminding you of a simpler time when you were sitting on the floor in your own urine and it was your only time of peace because normally late at night Neiken was the one who stayed with you, watching over you to ensure you didn't try to escape. He didn't do anything to you so you later assumed you could relax a little. It was the only time you could sit in the dark and be okay with it after so long without seeing anything or anyone you knew anymore.
"Go to sleep, [Name]," Satsuki would say in a gentle tone, even when your eyes refused to close, "have sweet dreams, okay? I'll see you tomorrow," she concluded with that and left your room, closing the door behind her so that hours later when the building was asleep, in the dead of the night, you heard tapping on your window despite being up so high. not like it stopped them before. Your neck would snap to the left to see the curtains unmoving because the window wasn't open, everything was so quiet that you couldn't even hear your own heartbeat.
Hours and hours of keeping your eyes open, refusing to fall into the temptation of sleep, the door opened and Akuma walked in, "hello, princess," he had said, voice hoarse and even a bit pained, eyes softening and arms almost looking welcoming, "have they been treating you well in here?"
On March the twelfth, Nurse Satsuki greeted you when the light from around the edges of the window had started outshining the light of the lamp on your bedside table. She faltered as soon as she opened the door to see your head snapping to her after you had finished speaking something with of a tiny grin on your face,
"Good... morning, [Name]."
"mm." You answered, amazingly, but she didn't really focus on that, "who were..." she looked towards the place you were looking at, the chair that she usually sat in beside you, "were you talking to someone?"
Maybe she shouldn't have asked because of the way your fave instantly shifted to one of discomfort and fear as if you were being threatened. She had no idea what to think, seeing you speaking and conscious of it but as she got closer, she could see the darkness under your eyes, "have you been sleeping?"
You didn't answer this time, rolling over in the bed and she caught sight of something as you did so, "[Name], did you wet the bed?" Normally any teen would feel ashamed or embarrassed by she could see why this would be different with you. In fact, she had no qualms about you doing that but now she had to try and get you off of the bed to change the sheets.
"Uh.. could you please get off so I can clean your bed..?"
Unmoving, she couldn't see your face when you were facing the wall but as you shifted, your sheets had moved and she caught it. Without gaining too much attention, she went to the cupboard and got out some clean sheets, went to your side and gently knelt down beside you, "[Name], can I please change your sheets, please get up."
You stared at her, "wha..." your voice sounded so small that she just wanted to help you, raising her hands to show you the blankets, " you shouldn't be laying in your urine like that, I'll clean it for you, okay?"
You almost looked confused by what she was saying and she noted that you still had that slightly dazed look in your eyes, "[Name]." You came back to her, briefly, "the bathroom is right behind me through that door, how about I clean the sheets and then you can take a shower, there's the toilet in there too."
You heard her speaking about how you had to get up. You did, albeit slowly as if wondering if she was going to stop you suddenly and scold you for no reason. She watched you sit up, move to the edge of the bed with shaky legs and then stand though you had to use the bed to keep upright.
You refused to look at her as you stood. Walking away from her and closer to the window, slowly, like a newborn deer learning to walk. You were something of a newborn, learning to be healthy again after something so traumatic happened to you. Pausing at the window, Satsuki watched you look out with wide eyes, wandering and in awe. Your pupils dilated and they couldn't stay in one place either as the scene before you consisted of so many bright, colourful things; people walking on the street, cars driving on the roads, trees either bright and green, tall or small, other buildings, so many across the horizon and the bright blue sky that stretched for miles with not a single cloud in sight. Only the sun shining on you, making your eyes scrunched closed a little because it was so blinding.
As you were distracted, Satsuki went along and took off your sheets, rolled them into a ball and then unfolded the new ones to place them on. Just as she finished, she heard a choked sound behind and quickly gazed behind her to quietly deflate, "oh, [Name].." She watched you with eyes of pity as you trembled, hands holding onto the windowsill with a tight grip, your skin turning even paler than it already was and she looked down to see the yellow puddle surrounding your feet.
why did I do that
I had to
But now it's going to hurt.
She's going to hurt me
Akuma is going to hurt me.
Without thinking, you sunk to the ground and felt the wetness through your hospital gown. Curling in on yourself as much as you could to feel small and protect your head for when the blow came, without a sound being heard, a pressure, light but still felt, landed on your knee and you looked up already expecting to see Akuma but instead what you saw made your heart drop so fast that you gasped.
"No~! aannnnnngggnnooo!!! Stopnnggarrghhhh~!"
Screams resonated on the floor and everyone seemed to stop, Dr. Akihito paused and listened to the deafening screams, panicked and screaming bloody murder when he broke into a run and swerve around other patients and coworkers to break into your room and watch in fright as Satsuki fought to calm you down as you attacked her blind.
Your eyes were scrunched closed and your fists were raised, swinging wildly through the air while your legs were too, skinny and frail as you still attempted to get your captor away from you.
"Baby, stop struggling, it'll feel good soon!"
"Hey! Watch where you're swinging before I kill you!"
"Oy!" That sadistic laugh echoed in your ears, "I like it when you squirm~!" He laughed and laughed and grabbed you with his clawed fingers, feeling his whiskers on your cheeks when he nuzzled your chest when his hands were holding you down, you squirmed and moved, and screamed and then you accidentally made him angry,
"That's enough! Stupid bitch, don't you know you're nothing but a cum dumpster!?" It was a blow to the face, your head snapped to the side and then you were sliding down the wall, frozen, heart aching, mind begging for escape.
Weak, fast heart-rate, fast breathing, sweating, anxiety, and increased thirst... These were some of the initial symptoms of shock and they maybe followed by confusion, unconsciousness, or cardiac arrest where a situation could arise where your heart completely stops working. That's what Nurse Satsuki was dealing with every time she attempted to converse with you. That's what Dr. Akihito was risking every time he tried to get you closer to becoming more conscious, more aware, more living now rather than in the past.
It was so hard, it was so scary as well because simple, mundane activities like showering, eating and going to the toilet were so much more difficult. You still hadn't properly been outside yet since the day you were drugged up when the police took you.
You, on other hand, didn't see why this was imperative at all seeing as you were just waiting for the moment you blinked and you were back with Akuma, in the flesh, on his table.
They cleaned you up and left you alone for a few hours and outside the door you could hear voices, straining to hear them while sitting on your bed.
"The tests have come back, there were traces of all kinds of fluids on [Name]'s clothes... blood, sweat - both hers and an unidentified male - urine, feces, unidentified serums and sperm."
Another male spoke, his voice cracked, "Oh God!"
"Due to the extensive chemical altering in [Name]'s DNA and her quirk due to the experimentation she went through, we've also concluded that she has become infertile."
"M-My baby girl.." Another male said, it wasn't your doctor, who was that?
"But further analysis showed that there is a chance that infertility might be temporary, we'll have to do more testing once she's better."
"Is she showing signs of getting better, Doctor?"
"... Slightly, perhaps some familiar faces might help but it's still too soon. She's at risk of going into shock and from that she could go into a sudden cardiac arrest, at worst."
Rather than eating, Nurse Satsuki had to place a tube in your nose that went down to your stomach to feed you. Rather than sleeping, you stayed awake doing god knows what.
The next morning, Dr. Akihito took it upon himself to greet you that morning. There was a definite change in your behaviour that day, you looked confused more often than not. Akihito would almost say you were in a zombified state, staring into nothing and completely unhearing of anything he said. It was like you weren't aware of your surroundings, unknowing to the sun shining and the clock ticking and the violent yelling outside your room, screaming about wanting to see you with threats of death easily rolling off his tongue while another boy tried to calm him down anxiously.
It wasn't until an awkward jerking of your arm and legs happened by the early afternoon. Dr. Akihito was just about to leave to check his other patients before he heard something choking, further rough scuffling on your bed sheets prompted him to take a closer look at you to see your face going tense, muscles tensing too and his heart froze, calling out loud for nurses immediately when you a massive seizure overtook your frail body.
He rolled you to your side and let the seizure happen, watching his watch to time it and it pained him to see you suffering like this when he knew he had to simply watch and let it pass. Nurse Satsuki was the first to run in, behind her were two boys who froze when they saw glimpses of you shaking uncontrollably, so much it looked frightening, another nurse came and told them they couldn't be here, they stayed anyway,
"I need five milligrams of midazolam, now!"
Everyone was rushing, two teenagers stayed out of the way, watching the doctor grab a small needle from a nurse and inject it into your shoulder when the shaking had subsided. Your body slowed down, you didn't speak, the nurses relaxed a little when the job was done, a couple of them leaving the room while two people remained,
"good to have you back, [Name]. That was a rough seizure there, you alright?"
Bakugou and Midoriya waited with slow breaths for an answer, there was nothing.
"Looks like you've got visitors, are you friends of hers?"
".. y-yeah." Midoriya answered, walking forward slowly to stand before your bed, Bakugou followed behind quietly, the two of them afraid of seeing you but also feeling as if they had waited enough.
"What was with that seizure?"
You weren't even responding, looking at Midoriya when he frightfully walked around the bed to take a seat on the chair available and he was astounded to find how nervous he was to see you when he was also elated to see you finally looking at him, "she was on a fast-acting tranquilliser very frequently when she was with her captors... suddenly not being on it has some effects, she had been fine for the past few days but it finally caught up to her..." Dr. Akihito scratched his head, "I'll have to write this on her file, Nurse, watch these two and fill them in, I suppose..."
Midoriya refused to break eye contact with you, even as it felt like you were looking through him. Bakugou stood and the end of the bed, watching in silence, Satsuki broke it,
"she'll be very out of it when the Midazolam kicks in, it's meant to relax her and slow her heart rate, I'm afraid she won't be very reactive but she isn't very reactive either way..."
Instead of holding the stare, as if you were looking at something utterly awe-inspiring, you had turned away, biting your lips harshly as Satsuki grabbed a tissue when blood started trickling down your chin when your eyes hardened painfully. Midoriya gasped in response, his eyes turning glassy and Bakugou could only stare at you, he couldn't turn away when you were in a state like this and he was partially at fault. Because he wasn't strong enough.
But you refused to meet their eyes when Akuma had entered, speaking from across the room yet his voice was right in your ear. His breath warm against the shell of your ear when his husky voice spoke into your soulless body,
"look at how they pity you, my darling."
I don't want to see this.
"It's because you're so weak!"
I don't want to see them!
"this is why I helped you, to become your own hero, you're so much stronger now, you'll see."
How dare you.
They make me feel something deep inside me, something that I feel like I know but I don't know what. I forgot their names, I only know their eyes but it hurts. I don't want to see the faces of the people that used to mean something to me.
Take me away from this, already, demon.
Another night passed, Midoriya and Bakugou couldn't stay as long as they liked and it was so much harder when they saw how you got further and further away from them as time passed. The drugs had taken effect and you were like a zombie again, unresponsive and calm, almost as if you were asleep with your eyes open. You couldn't eat, you couldn't speak and seeing this in comparison to the bright and bubbly girl you were six months ago made Midoriya's heart ache with so much pain that he had to leave.
He wasn't giving up on you... no, he'd never give up but he had to tell himself to give you time. That's what you needed. Time would make you better and he would be back to visit, with more of your friends as well. Bakugou followed Midoriya with a face of passive sadness.
A lot of things were on the agenda on the fourth day of being in the Musutafu Hospital. That morning, Satsuki came in to give you some Midazolam, a smaller dosage to keep you sane throughout the day because despite not even being able to remember it, the doctor said you had surprised him with a huge seizure and that you were lucky he had been there the whole time.
It sounded like a lie. You couldn't remember it; well, really, you couldn't seem to recall anything, but it sounded like a lie. Akuma had done something to make you zone out and your mind created these characters - the doctors, the nurses, the two oddly nostalgic boys - to keep you somewhat lucid. He said it had been a result of suddenly being taken off of the drugs you had consistently been on for months and months.
Then, to make everything worse, right when Satsuki brought a bag of your 'food' to clip into the tube that was in your nostril and connected to your stomach, Akihito had came in and expressed what he would call 'good news.'
"Your parents have been very patient, but I think it's time you all got reunited again, how does that sound?"
The only person that even resembled a parent to you was the man who called himself Akuma. Akuma had fed you, cleaned you (to the best of his abilities), and ensured you were alive every day. You had simply frozen up when the doctor said that, and while you hoped today would be the last day in this nightmare, two men dashed into the room and paused right when their eyes locked on you.
A tall man with dark brown hair and a slightly built frame stood beside another who was smaller and shorter than the other. They walked to you, you turned away and Tomoharu thought to himself that your face looked like a mannequins' - expressionless and lifeless. Tomoharu came to your bedside, Fumiya sat on the mattress beside you,
"She's still very sensitive, please just be very gentle with her..." Echoed in your head.
"Oh... my poor baby girl... look at what happened to you.." The male closest to you murmured. You couldn't answer, eyes only finding the wall more interesting and nothing else about your figure said that you were alive apart from the machine that was feeding you and the fact that your eyes were open.
'urg-urgh,, oh, ba-baby' he held you down, claws tight around your thin arms that could break at any moment because of how drastically your strength had depleted over time. You could feel the intrusion in your nether regions, feeling your body relax unconsciously because it was always like you were being ripped apart when you stayed tense and rigid, he forced his way in-
"Princess, it's us - your dads, how're you feeling?"
Your skin was on fire but they didn't touch you. Your mind was flashing from them and to now, names echoing in your mind like red sirens flashing wildly, constantly reminding you that this wasn't doing to last, this bed underneath you was fake and this sunlight that warmed your skin was only artificial.
Everything you were seeing was only an escape from the darkness that you were really trapped in.
'Princess, you're so weak, don't worry, I have everything you need to become better.'
A groan flew from your bruised lips before your ears heard it, Satsuki took a step forward, slightly alarmed but your dads only thought you were reacting positively; listening to their voices, understanding them and feeling their love.
"Hey, hey, my angel, it's okay," more groans, the walls of your throat felt like they were expanding, closing in on itself and cutting off your air supply. They were closing in on you and you panicked, mind trying to escape from inside your own head,
'my lil' angel-face, always knows how to please me, hu-' he thrusted harder, 'huh?' his laughter echoed so loud, sadistic and deep, laced with pleasure and mirth.
"Honey, the police are outside, how... do you feel about talking to them? You don't have to, take all the time you need."
The police were waiting but all they heard were sudden shrieks. They rushed in, panicked to find you wildly flailing your arms and screaming to get away from your own parents. They struggled, "[Name]! It's okay!" But you tried to get away even more, scared and feeling so claustrophobic.
Akihito intervened immediately, rushing to separate your dads from you. Heartbroken, Tomoharu and Fumiya were forced to leave.
Everything changed that afternoon.
The two people who called themselves your dads had left and you couldn't help believing that they were sneaking around somewhere in your room, waiting till you were vulnerable to try and hold you or pet you. Satsuki moved the chair that had always been beside your bed and took it to the window so that you could sit there and get some sunlight. Of course, the window was bolted closed and it would open unless someone smashed the glass.
You couldn't sit there for long without feeling some indescribable deep-rooted fear rising through you, the more you sat staring out the window.
Moving from the window, back to the bed, Satsuki stayed close by in case you had trouble but her voice startled you, you almost fell when she spoke loudly, "All Might?!"
All Might? The hero?
Feeling people watching you, they watched you move over to the bed and lift yourself slowly and with big sighs leaving your mouth, full of pain and exhaustion. All Might saw your body, the skin that wasn't covered was simply painted in light blues and yellows, scabs were sill healing on your face and exposed arms and cuts were healing too, bandages on your cheek and your arms as well.
Your eyes slowly raised to see him and you didn't know what there was in his eyes, only that he was frowning deeply.
Why was he frowning? What had he endured? He was a hero, so lovingly devoted to the protection and justice of civilians and he couldn't even save you when you called out to him? All those times you were beaten just for saying his name because of the hatred these villains held towards the greatest hero, and he was the one who was sad?
He heard you, perking up immediately in response to finally hearing one of his dear students after everything that had happened, he noted that Satsuki had audibly gaped in response to this but he simply walked further into the room with Akihito by his side, the sound of your frail voice ringing in his head as he sat before you in the visitors chair, now eye-to-eye with you.
You didn't take your eyes off of him once.
"Y-Yes, [Name], I'm.. here.."
And without your permission, your eyes began watering, lips wobbling when you hiccuped, "you're so late.." Your voice broke, breaking every last inch of the hero's heart, he felt as if he had to look away but he was also so ashamed of himself that he had to remain eye contact.
"I know... [Name], I'm so s-sorry.. I failed you.."
"You-... you-re so l-late, All Might." You sobbed and sobbed as if a dam had broke and All Might watched with tears gathering in his own eyes, as his throat start feeling choked up when he watched you sob like a child but with the child-like innocence gone because you had forcibly experienced so many things no child should ever have to endure.
You raised your trembling hands to your face and wiped your tears away, sniffling as snot reached your top lip when you tried to clean your face, everything was hurting and it felt as if you had been punch in the chest over and over, like all the tendons and muscles in your heart were slowly being pulled apart and you were slowly dying of a broken heart.
"All Might.." The tears didn't stop and it was like All Might and yourself were the only two people left in the world. His hair was down, blonde hair around his skinny face that looked so upset that you had to lean forward to speak up again, faltering because of the pain of putting too much weight on your fragile wrists, "pl-please tell me, All Might-" A loud hiccup stopped your breathing for a moment and you had to inhale deeply to try and relax, All Might gave you a moment, "...anything, [Name], I'll tell you anything,"
And his heart stopped when you spoke in a shattered whisper, "w-where is Akuma?"
In disbelief, he thought he was imagining it, "What about Tamotsu, too? I-I'm scared, I haven't seen them i-in so long.." Wiping your face again, you tried to look at All Might through blurred vision, frightful of both his face and of what his answer would be,
You watched with wide, red-rimmed eyes as he glanced at your doctor as if debating what he should say. Feeling so weak, it almost felt like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders, maybe this would make everything stop. You swore it had been weeks since you woke up in this 'hospital' and you were growing so tired. The tube in your nose always itched and the constant presence of your nurse was both comforting and unnerving - you didn't want to get used to such nice company just to have it ripped away from you.
"[Name].. listen to me, okay?" His comforting voice was so nostalgic, he watched you nod instantly as you remained quiet.
"A-Akuma is in... he's in prison."
There was nothing but the clock ticking on the wall, so loud, tick, tick, tick, so constant, "You're not with them anymore, [Name], you were saved four days ago. You're free, okay? Do you understand that? They're not going to get to you anymore. The others are... dead and Akuma is in the highest security prison, Tartarus. He's far away from here and he can't get out."
As if someone had used a quirk to stop everything, All Might watched you become as pale as a sheet and you hadn't moved either. It took seconds that felt like minutes until you started moving again, shaking your head wildly as if trying to shake out flies from inside your head because of how loud your thoughts were, loudly combining into a buzz that had you so disoriented.
It had to be the drugs they were giving you. This couldn't be real. He's lying. This isn't real. I'm free? I'm not free.
A force shook your entire being, you didn't even realise your sights had locked on your lap before your gaze snapped up to see All Might, considerably closer with his gentle hands (which you wouldn't expect seeing as he was a hero who engaged in a lot of battles) sitting tenderly upon your clenched hands,
"You're free, [Name]. I swear, my girl."
so, I googled things about the rape kit and I know it's obviously more time-consuming and invasive but for the sake of my fic i don't want to delve into it too much, normally a rape kit can take between 2.5-5 hours.
sorry, it's been so sad and dull, the next chapter will have class 2-a!!
Chapter 7: PARAPRAXIS;
WARNING;; Sexual abuse
noun - a slip of the tongue or pen or other error thought to reveal unconscious wishes or attitudes.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
It had to be the drugs they were giving you. This couldn't be real. He's lying. This isn't real. I'm free? I'm not free.
"You're free, [Name]. I swear, my girl."
All Might's tight grip on your own cold hands were the only things holding you grounded. Those words being repeated through your mind and yet it was still something you couldn't even comprehend. You couldn't speak, All Might didn't take his eyes off of you, both shocked that you had still been thinking that you were trapped and still in that nightmare, and also so utterly saddened that you couldn't seem to decipher what was real.
He had so much hope that seeing familiar faces might help you but after Midoriya and Bakugou had spoken to him, he just wanted to believe that it would all be okay. It was so hard, trying to hold onto this hope as he looked at you, just as you started to shake your head.
"No... n-no.. it- can't... NO!"
Tearful, you stared at the man that you had called for, day after day, beating after beating, and refused to believe. You couldn't be free when there was no hope for you... You couldn't when you swore that that place was going to be the place of your death. You remembered it vividly, when... when Akuma sat with you and then... You scrunched closed and a pain, slowly and then all at once was lighting up your nerves like they had been set on fire. Ripping your hands from All Might's soft grasp, you held your temples tight, squeezing like it would squeeze the pain away and numb it.
Nurse Satsuki fearfully sped forward and sat on the other side of the from where All Might was seated and as a result, he stood up, startled and regretting what he had said, thinking of how he could've done better, of how he could've gotten to you sooner and possibly halved the damage that you had received and now had to live with.
"No! N-No! T-This can't! Mmmhmmmm~!" The tears never ended and Satsuki was talking to you, frightened and distorted as you looked ahead when he was standing right at the end of your bed, frowning a little and it was almost like he felt sorry for you, "A-Aku...ma.." Your voice was broken and the man perked up at the sound of his name but this time he didn't say anything and you hated it, the pain wasn't subsiding but it wasn't getting worse now and it was like a constant headache, painful yet only just bearable and the man, the one of was responsible for all of this, was watching you, assessing your reaction and how you would respond to the news you had just been given.
"All Might-san.. I think that will be enough for today, I'm sorry." Satsuki spoke almost robotically while watching you continuously sob, choking and groaning and the hero had trouble leaving because he always wanted to help people and he wanted to see you smile again but it was difficult when he didn't know what to do or what could make you flip like a switch.
He opened the door to your hospital room, regrettably, and didn't breathe until he left the room as he stood with his back against the wall,
"A-Akuma is in... he's in prison."
He had said, with every intention of ridding you from the prison that your mind was making you believe. It had been four days since you were taken from that place and yet the media was still raging about your rescue, talking about how they had unfortunately believed that you weren't alive anymore. And how the chances of you being found were slimming every single day until most of the nation who were aware of this tragedy had unfortunately lost hope, but there were people who still believed wholeheartedly in you, a handful but still enough ensure your recovery in the hospital was going as smoothly as possible.
Nurse Satsuki never left your side, she cleaned you and watched you go to the toilet to ensure you got there okay and she couldn't help frowning when you got up a few times without wiping because of the pain and sensitivity of your nether regions. You never looked at yourself, never touched your body and it was beginning to look like you despised your own body, not daring to touch the skin that had been tainted so forcefully and horrifically.
Satsuki observed the way you would stare out the window, eager to get an 'okay' from your doctor so that she could take you outside on the grass where many patients when to get fresh air and sunlight. She fought through your crying and you fought her at times of frustration and complete fear.
On one of those previous nights when she heard you talking to someone in your room even though there was no one present, she knew what she had seen when it happened again.
She had just finished her shift, it was late at night and she turned off the lights in your room as the lamp at your bedside aided in giving you a nice, dull illumination because everyone knew how afraid of dark you were, kicking and screaming to protect yourself until someone flipped the light switch back on quickly. After sensing that you seemed okay, she went to her locker in the employee area of the hospital and grabbed her things, putting on a jacket for her walk home but decided to go see you one last time before she left, wanting to be sure you were well enough to sleep on your own tonight because she hadn't left until you had fallen asleep.
She may have been wrong though, because when she came back to your room she paused by the door when she could hear a voice. It was light, sounded laced with sleep and calm as well, she didn't hear what you were saying until she managed to slowly open the door just a smidgen, listening first before turning her head to see inside, finding you laying on your side with your back facing her so she couldn't see your face and so she couldn't see if you were sleep talking or not.
"I.. I don't know what to believe..."
You would speak slightly, as if careful of waking someone up or careful of being heard by someone else,
"well, why do I keep seeing you.. I don't want to."
"No, stop it.."
"S-Stop.." Satsuki opened the door, hearing the clear panic that had appeared in your voice, your back looked tense,
"I Said Stop!!" She ripped the door open, rushing in and coming to your bedside to see your face whip to the door and your eyes wide when you noticed her, you screamed, a bloodcurdling scream that pierced her ears but she rushed to you nonetheless, making her way to the bed to try and bring you back, her skin growing cold as ice when your eyes rolled to the back of your head.
She swore, you started convulsing and she hurried to flip you back onto your side and grabbed a medical needle and the small tube of midazolam, hurriedly getting the needle ready as she held down your shaking body, she huffed and revealed your upper arm, instantly puncturing the skin to push the medication into your bloodstream.
She waited a few moments, watching over the entirety of your body while your seizure continued for a few moments later after a second the shaking subsided little by little until it finally stopped and you were passed out.
The morning light brought a soft orange tinge to the window the next morning. Your assigned nurse came in as she usually did, you began to notice she was always coming in at the same time every day to see you, ensuring you were still in one piece and hadn't wet the bed, or if you had then she'd simply change the sheets and clean you up.
She was always cautious and you could see that so clearly, peeling your eyes open as she opened the curtains and then went to your bed to check the sheets, once she noticed you were awake, she flinched, you stared at her expressionless,
"Did.... I do something bad.."
Startled, she placed your sheet back down and even straightened them as if tucking them around your feet to make sure they were warm, she turned after that and sat on the bed, looking down at you from where you hadn't moved. Eyes looking dark and lifeless, with dark bags under your eyes. Your skin was so pale, taking on an almost bluish complexion while the wounds and bruises were finally starting to heal and fade away, even if the psychological wounds were still so, so real,
"No, of course not," she answered softly as if trying desperately not to disturb this peaceful bubble that surrounded you, "why do you say that?"
She waited patiently, staring at your face to try and get a read of what you were feeling. The only problem was that you weren't feeling at all. You were so lethargic, numb and it felt as if your own limbs weren't yours anymore. You could see the look on her face, wondering why you had asked such a thing but after last nights events, you couldn't help wondering,
"I don't... remember doing... anything... b-bad.."
Her lips parted to say something, perhaps reassure you, you wanted to reject the notion completely. You didn't want reassurance nor little words with the intention of comforting you. You wanted this to stop, you didn't want to see him anymore, you didn't want to feel this hole in you, gaping and so dark, full of pain and torture.
Your eyes grew wide, staring at the man in the corner of the room and he was grinning at you, pulling at the zipper of his pants and you heard that familiar sound, flinching when you couldn't take your eyes away, unable to even panic when you clearly recalled what happened when you fought back,
"so... why do bad things.. keep happening to m-me," Satsuki stared at you, able to see exactly how the emotions passed through your face. She saw how you were tired and drained, and then confused and apathetic but then you became scared and irritated, moving your legs closer towards your body and then finally squeezing your eyes shut just when your eyes moved from her face and whipped right to the corner of the room. As your eyes scrunched shut, you managed to push tears from them, flowing down your eyelids when she could see what was going on.
She placed a hand on your exposed arm and you flinched, she could guess why, but instead of passing this by or letting it happen like she always had been doing, this time she tried to snap you out of it,
"[Name]-san, today's a beautiful day," instead of petting your arm, she held the one spot, tightening her hold a little as you cried a bit more, "there are only two people in this room, that's you and me."
look at this bitch, trying to actually help you!?
You flinched again at the sound of his voice, loud and full of mirth because he never sounded like anything else, always happy to dominate you and always cheerful to play with you like you were his one and only toy. He was louder, overpowering the nurses' voice and she heard your whining, getting louder and louder like he was screaming in your ear.
There was no one there but Satsuki and yourself, she could see that and she knew that because all of the people that had taken part in your kidnapping all got what they deserved. At least that's what the police are saying, even though one of the four were missing but you hadn't spoken about the incident so they couldn't exactly do anything about that but investigate into the criminals and their backgrounds.
"[Name]-san, there's no one here, you're okay and nothing will hurt you anymore." Her voice was steady but forceful, trying to get to your head while you squirmed but still stayed in one spot, unable to speak when your jaw was so tense, "[Name]-san! Please! You're okay, I swear!"
And then, as if by the snap of your fingers, it all stopped.
Just as it had been since the day you came to the hospital, you were still refusing to eat and if you did, then it was only tiny portions. You only seemed to take a single bite from the soft foods that were provided to you and then you couldn't eat anymore, your body refused it and you felt so sensitive and weak after only one bite. The doctor tried to make you eat, telling you that this was the first step to getting better. He told you it would help you if you helped your physical body heal and get stronger and then you would have your loved ones help you make everything else better.
You thought that was a load of bullshit.
As if you were slowly becoming a zombie, his words merely travelled from one ear and out the other. Satsuki could see that, as could your doctor but there wasn't much that they could do when your body was simply rejecting everything. It was like you were only a vessel and the only times you seemed a bit human were when you were sobbing and screaming out peoples names who weren't there or even suffering from a seizure.
The shame, the disbelief and the torment of your mind was only the best concoction for a whirlwind of negative thoughts. Thoughts that the old you probably never, ever would've considered. But who was that again? People walked in and out of your hospital room with a certain light in their eyes even when they were so cautious of you like they were expecting someone else instead of you. You had no idea what they wanted. All they said was for you to keep trying to get better.
But what was getting better from here? How would you do it? Was it possible?
Was there anywhere to go up from where you were.
The only good thing about your day, these passing days was being able to feel some of the warmth from the sunlight from your window. There was already a chair situated there for you and you had no idea how much time passed from morning to night when you were there almost every day. You couldn't for the life of you recall another time when you had felt this good. That was until Satsuki interrupted your time one day,
"[Name], I've been asking the doctor every day if you can go outside, today he finally said yes, would you like to go?"
No movements, you merely turned your head slightly. It was a scary notion, but you also couldn't recall what it felt like to feel the wind that moved the trees, on your skin and through your hair. But was she being serious?
"You've been cooped up in here for a long while, I've brought a wheelchair as well, if you'd rather walk?"
This kindness... it almost shone above all the voices you were hearing,
i'm free, you spoke lowly in your mind
free? for how long, he answered you, wryly.
just face it, you're disgusting, but you were made for me, I'll be back soon, it'll be alright, his voice was so loud and you flinched, Satsuki took that moment to bring in the wheelchair. Not because you were unable to walk, but simply because she wanted you to be as comfortable as possible. People like you, injured and unable to revive themselves from the darkness that they were unfairly pulled under, were among the few reasons that she became a nurse. Devoted to her job, she walked to you knowing full well that you could fight her once more with the full-fledged belief that she was someone else.
"It's..." she stilled, waiting for you with a bated breath, "it's too loud in here.." your voice cracked as that was the first sentence you had spoken all day and she couldn't hide the surprise in her face when you stood, slowly and carefully in order to make your way over to the wheelchair that she had moved by you. The sun was still in the sky, shining high and raining down warmth that you yearned to feel more off, without the knowledge that a wall and a glass window were in the middle.
She eagerly brought a blanket to sit over your legs and brightened when your frail hands took the top of the blanket and held it tight over your stomach, she asked if you needed anything else and instantly grabbed a bottle of water for you when you murmured an answer. She really couldn't believe this was happening but she was also slightly cautious as you had said it was loud inside when there was no one but the two of you.
Minutes later, after being wheeled through the building as everything appeared to be a blur and nothing but, the sunlight made your breath catch and your eyes scrunch closed. A familiar, light-hearted chuckle filled your ears briefly and the owner of that airy laugh spoke up with a gleeful voice, "sorry, perhaps I should've warned you."
With no desire to make a sound, your eyes slowly opened, needing a few seconds to adjust to the light that was a lot different to the stale, white light of the halls of the hospital. When shadows formed figures of other patients and nurses, you allowed yourself a moment to float there for a while. Jumping slightly in your seat when the chair moved once more, "we'll move over to the grass, we shouldn't stand in the doorway, anyway, alright?"
You couldn't agree nor disagree, afraid of what would happen when your nurse was right behind you and you were so vulnerable and weak. As if the sunlight was sucking out all of your energy, your eyes almost closed in a peaceful lull but you snapped them back open frightfully when your stomach dropped, did I almost fall asleep? It was so weird, how calming it felt in those few seconds. But you couldn't let yourself be carried away. After all, who knew what would happen if you let yourself doze off like a stupid and weak thing.
"Ah, today's the perfect day to be outside, I'm so glad your doctor agreed to let you out, aren't you, [Name]?"
She felt so familiar with you, "mhmm..." the sun, oh, the sun, it was no doubt your favourite thing in the world. The sun was warmth and stable and always there, it was peaceful and relaxing and you even dared to close your eyes once more in order to face it directly, lifting your head to feel it completely.
It was like you were floating and suddenly,
the feeling was the same as when you were laying on a metal table, clothed in dirty and disgusting pyjamas that were tattered with holes and rips. Chained down, your ankles and wrists were stinging and that was the only pain felt in your body that was helping to keep you awake. You didn't realise you had been moving your fingers as if testing your ability to move your own body parts until you had looked to your side to see them, moving slowly like the graceful tentacles of an octopus.
And beyond them, you noticed the figure watching you, "Ah, Akuma..."
"My princess, you're doing so well, how're you feeling?" He smiled down at you, coming from the darkness of the outer edge of the room to stand by the light that was shining down on you, cold and bright with that familiar low buzz being emitted from it. His body was ignited by the light but his face was still hidden slightly, only able to see dark shadows over his features.
"I feel... like I'm floating... what i-is this..."
"[Name]! Hey, it's alright, it's just us here, out in the sun, come back to me."
He chuckled, dark and mysterious, "it's a new serum, you probably feel you're not in your own body right now, correct? Doesn't it feel amazing? To be able to feel nothing at all?"
He was right, Akuma, he was so, so right, it was amazing to not feel anything. There was no touch that made contact with your skin even though you knew there was a table beneath you as you sat upon it when Akuma rid you of your restraints. You couldn't even feel the bloody ground as he helped you onto your feet and you laughed, amazed, and he laughed with you, almost like this moment was so much more wholesome and full of joy that you didn't even feel yourself being passed over to another.
It was so alleviating, the way you couldn't feel those sickening lips on your skin when you laughed and murmured to yourself about how you wanted it to always be like this, how you wanted to just always be able to feel absolutely nothing at all. You wanted to keep that sensation of being untouchable when lips and grasps turned to claws and bites, scratching and marking your already marred skin when you hadn't even realised that the wall had suddenly turned into the ceiling when a brief thought crossed your mind, how did I get on the ground? when did that happen? But still, you were still floating and words of your nude body and of all the things that would happen to you in the next few seconds simply flew away like dust in the wind.
And it was pure joy, it was utter euphoria, the way Akuma could create something that could make you completely and perfectly unknowing to what was happening to you. Tamotsu brought you back to the place you slept on the ground, that much you realised because he was also the one to bring you to Akuma to do some of his experiments. But, shit, you had no idea that it would be such a good day, being able to feel and touch and sense nothing but a tasteful void that kept your mind in the clouds while your body was shaking up and down with Tamotsu's own body.
when did he get there?
what was going on?
It didn't matter, because you didn't even feel a second of it, and it was pure nirvana.
"Hey, is that [Name]?"
Eyes snapping open, you hadn't realised that you had been hyperventilating when you looked around quizzically at the place around you. The sun was hurting your eyes, but it aided in making you feel less trapped and the brightness was the complete opposite to the darkness you just experienced, "[Name]! Hey, talk to me, how do you feel?"
It was sickening, that this and that could hold you prisoner in your own mind. It seemed like you couldn't even enjoy something like the sunlight. It made your stomach hurt and you lurched forward just as three pairs of feet came towards you. You choked on your tears and on the puke that just spurted from your bowels when you sobbed and tightened your hold on the blankets even as you got the heated spew all over yourself, you cried and pulled your hair next, voice raw and destroyed, "s-sick," you dribbled, unsure of what to do with yourself, "I-I'm sorry, so-sorry, I- sorry, I ca- I'm sorry, please.." stumbling over yourself like a child, Satsuki merely sighed, "It's totally fine, [Name], why don't we go back inside so we can get you cleaned up, huh? You even got some visitors today, they can come with us." She said something to them, you didn't know who they were when you felt so disgusted at the memories that penetrated your mind.
It was so true and real that you were able to feel nothing like your skin was paralysed and your sense of touch was turned off but that, unfortunately, didn't mean that you didn't recall and vividly feel the way your body burned with a stinging sensation when you awoke hours later to find that blood and semen had come pouring from you when you could see merciless handprints and bite marks all over your skin. The drug that had been pumped into your body didn't let you forget what had happened, it just made the feel of it as it was happening feel like nothing. It meant that the aftereffects; the exhaustion of your limbs and your inability to walk, the severe bruising and stress of your genitals, felt as if they were multiplied tenfold because you were so ignorant of it while it occurred.
Tamotsu laughed at you after, telling you about how much it seemed like you enjoyed it, it made you vomit up stomach acid.
From one moment to the next, you were suddenly being helped out of the wheelchair and helped into the shower of your hospital room. Completely void of emotion, you let it happen and stood meaninglessly under the showerhead while Satsuki cleaned your body and assisted in getting rid of the vomit and tears. She was patient and you were scared, shivering and eager when she turned the shower off to dry you and cloth you, thankfully, in your large sweater and sweatpants that she had received from your parents.
Once you returned to your room, you noticed the three figures, two sitting on the chairs by your bed and the other standing up beside the window, leaning on the wall.
They stared and you stared back, shoulders tense as you stilled, "they're your friends, [Name], here to visit you."
At least it made your shoulders drop, feeling a bit more reassured that the people you could see were actually present and not just a manifestation of something from your mind. Walking to your bed, you sat there and raised the blankets to your waist.
It was weird and awkward because you didn't know what to do. You didn't know what they expected of you. You didn't even recognise them, besides the shocked look in their eyes - you had been getting a lot of that lately - and now you were just expected to know them as your friends? yeah, okay.
"[Name]-chan..." One of them murmured your name, he had bright, red hair and dark, red eyes and you glanced at him once before looking back to your bedsheets, "[Name]," Satsuki called, waited till she got your attention, "I'll be visiting other patients but I'll be back soon, do you need anything?"
"...Water.." She brought your bottle to you, seeing as you hadn't gotten to drink any when you were outside and you took it, drinking some without hesitation when you noticed it was a brand new bottle that hadn't been opened yet.
She left shortly after that, and it was just the four of you.
"Y-you're... my friends..?"
From seeing how you were last time, having a seizure and looking so comatose, Bakugou instantly thought you looked a lot better today, even after what had happened just outside when they came to visit you. He nodded, speaking up as Kaminari and Kirishima probably expected you to be the way Midoriya had described you before; unresponsive, similar to a zombie, looking lifeless, but now you had actually spoken to them, they were kind of relieved.
"Yeah, of course we are."
Bakugou's voice was gruff, you looked at him, stared for a while and then looked away, "friends..."
Something quick and almost invisible changed in your voice and Bakugou quirked a single brow, "H-Hey, y-you're looking a lot better now, [Name]-chan!" The blonde-haired one sat in a chair, sitting on the very edge and you scoffed without even knowing, "is that so?"
They called you your friend and they never even did anything while you had been brought to that place. You called to, what you assumed, was them and nothing happened. You called out to All Might, and he wasn't even there when you were taken away from Akuma and Tamotsu. You called and nothing happened.
"D-did..." you stumbled, paused, "did what happened outside look like 'better' to you?" Despite the slight bite in your words, you were still deathly afraid of looking at them, "I don't even... I don't even know you.. how do you know I look any better at all.."
"W-Well.." he choked slightly and stumbled, and the sound that he made sounded so defeated and lost. It felt wrong, being on the other side of that voice, "I-I'm so sorry..." and fuck you heard a sniffling and it made your stomach churn, instantly managing to bring tears to your own eyes when it seemed so utterly pathetic that you were trying to appear slightly stronger, better or more sane after what they had seen.
"yeah... All Might said that, too. Everyone keeps saying sorry."
"[N-Name]... w-we tried to find you t-the entire time... It was so hard.." the red-haired one bit his lip and his face turned sour like he had eaten a whole lemon slice. You could see his eyes looking glassy, too.
And your resolve was breaking, shattering when you almost wanted to completely break down and cry with them, as if that would make this hole inside of you go away. As if it would make you a little bit closer to them. But what did they know, they knew nothing, they said things and for all you knew, they would probably be lying and only saying that to make you lower your defences. It was why you couldn't look at them, especially when Tamotsu was standing right beside the blonde, in front of the window.
Telling you that they had abandoned you.
Laughing at your anguish, teasing you because you almost believed them.
Sneering at you as he revealed that the only reason you were freed was because they intended that to happen. You weren't found, you were released on their terms.
Scrunching your eyes closed, your breathing was uneven and choppy but you tried to control yourself and he yelled at you with a voice of glee because these so-called heroes did nothing while their friend was becoming someone else's plaything.
Ah, so they were heroes, like All Might?
"Y-You.." you voice was trembling, it made tears escape down your cheek but you kept it together enough to speak even when your throat felt like it was closing, "you call... yourselves heroes... but you- you couldn't even save me.."
It was easier to make them leave, to push them away than to let something like that happen again.
He had gone through countless nightmares where you said those exact words, broken and torn apart at the seams.
The blonde with red eyes glared down at you and he was biting his lip but also breathing fiercely as if he was holding himself back. He shoulders her lifted, tense and angry and you flinched at the sight though he kept staring at you, "we did everything we could! Fuck, even when those fuckers gave up and almost stopped looking for you! We were the ones who always had faith and we were fucking getting close, too! Th-those motherfucking villains! They had a quirk that hid their hideout! We were close, I swear!"
Like time stopped, it was kind of astounding to see that kind of look on this persons face. It was like you actually meant something to him. Like he was being completely sincere and a feeling of dread overcame you, your eyes became distant, like you were suddenly gone and Bakugou stopped forward, "Oi!" Despite the shaking, and the pain in his jaw from having been clenching for so long, he knew something flipped in you - it was terrifying because you were so unpredictable, "Dunce face, press the remote for the nurse!"
The boy fumbled, sniffling and hastily moving from the yelling and Kirishima looked from all three of you with a clear look of confusion, "something is wrong," Bakugou answered and Kirishima didn't understand, actually, no one did, not even you when you felt chills coming up your body and you groaned, feeling so weird and disgusting, feeling exposed and it was like you were in the dark, trapped in Akuma's place when everything went black.
When you awoke, your jaw hurt and it was night time. The feeling was the same so you automatically told yourself it was a seizure, another one. Satsuki was sitting by you, reading a magazine and she didn't realise that you had been silently staring at her until she unthinkingly looked up and caught your gaze, tired and dull.
She licked her lips and spread them to speak but you beat her to it, "what happened to me.." your voice was completely different to before, it shocked her to silence as it was not only laced with sleep but also something so secretive and fearful but also calm, like you had accepted something finally after what felt like decades.
"Y-You..." she looked unsure, your face hadn't changed, "are you sure you want me to tell you?"
When you said nothing after what felt like minutes, she sighed defeatedly but told you anyway, "You were abducted during your sleep, around seven months ago." You blinked.
She told you that you had been taken away and completely disappeared for six months. She recounted that it was as if you had fallen off the edge of the Earth and for a long while, everyone was looking for you. The police, heroes, detectives, civilians and everyone in between seemed to be doing anything to try and get closer to you. They checked security cameras and airports and the slums, hospitals and common places where villains had taken hostages but came up empty. Satsuki told you about how she would see your face on the news every single week, as the news anchors would express their condolences after weeks turned to months of trying to locate you.
Satsuki even told you that people had laid out memorials in front of your school in memory of you filled with flowers and candles and pictures of your smiling face. It was breath-taking to hear and Tamotsu's words came back to you, circulating like he was right next to you, all around you, completely enveloping you.
... only reason you were freed was because they intended that to happen. You weren't found, you were released on their terms...
"How did I get out?"
Again, your voice was so monotone. Like you weren't even alive except for the moments you blinked and spoke, you hadn't even moved like you were paralysed,
"Ahh... I believe you managed to get ahold of a phone and called the police, they traced the call and found you."
"... I did?"
"Yes," she completely put the magazine down and brought her seat closer to you, "the call was released to the public, you called the police but didn't speak, only using the numbers to answer the police, they realised what was happening and managed to find out. It was probably was of the biggest moments of Japan, you know?"
"I-..." something didn't feel right about that.
...You weren't found, you were released on their terms...
"I'm going to sleep."
Whether you were being honest about actually sleeping or not, Satsuki didn't know, but just hearing those words made her feel immense relief and she only stayed that way because she hadn't caught what you had whispered shortly after that.
Once again, the sun was shining brightly and without a care for the chaos that occurred in your mind. It was alluring and peaceful, able to make you sane enough to sit peacefully while all these people surrounded you. You didn't know how much time had passed since the last time you were outside and even though it ended horribly before, Satsuki managed to get the doctor to say yes once more. Maybe she had hope that this could do good for you.
It was like a small crowd before you, all watching you and chatting around while they brought food and blankets to sit on. It startled you, initially because of how excited Satsuki appeared when you agreed to go back outside, and now, because you didn't know how to put names to faces when everything was so fuzzy.
One after the other, they introduced themselves and the way they acted, it was like they were so familiar with you, "It's me, Midoriya! I-I uh, visited you before," he looked embarrassed as he spoke in the silence and you watched, looking up from your seat in the wheelchair, "yeah... I remember your eyes..." you murmured and he perked up, shock written all over his face before tears built up and fell from his bright, viridian eyes.
"Ah..uhm... I-I'm sorry, I-I'm so happy.."
Somehow, the sight of his tearful face pulled on your heartstrings.
"Pl-please... don't cry.. uh, M-Midoriya.."
A couple of girls surrounded him, some boys too, and they helped make the tears go away. For some reason, you watched in awe, feeling an ugly emotion arise amongst the satisfaction of being outside and around these seemingly kind people,
people that could make their friends tears go away, but not help you when you were-
"[Name]-san," a boy with glasses knelt before you, so he was eye-to-eye with you, "I'm Tenya Iida, class president of class 2-A and this is," he introduced everyone properly even though they already told you their names. He even told you their quirks and you questioned him, "uh, T-Tenya..."
"Yes, [Name]-san," for some reason, the way he knelt so as to be the same height as you, instead of standing above you, felt a lot better, "W-What's my quirk?"
"W-" he was visibly shocked, "Well, if I remember correctly, it's called Cryokinesis, or ice manipulation."
"You- you forgot your quirk?"
Midoriya recalled what Mirio told him about what he saw inside the villains hideout, the huge ice sculpture that even managed to impale one of the villains through the torso and kill him, you looked at him and murmured, "I-... I don't remember the last time I used my quirk..."
A sensation on your foot made you bite your lip, from the instant agony and then it went away, like it was alerting you of something, you look down and slipped off your slipper to see the scarring, "what happened there..?" The girl, Yaoyorozu, asked timidly, "Uhm... they used... something, I think.." as your face twisted, she hastily raised her hands as if in defence, "Oh! If it's too much to recall, then you don't have to think about it!"
you don't have to think about it
How does that work? Suffering from nightmares by night and seeing things that weren't even real by day, feeling all of the aftereffects and having to be medicated every few hours to stay sane, and she just says 'you don't have to think about it,' you clicked your tongue and looked away, catching some more or your classmates eyes,
You placed the slipper back on your foot and Satsuki lowered to speak to you, "[Name]," she started, so as to not startle you, "seeing as all these people came for you, to eat with you, why don't you join them?"
Even if it had been quite a while since you had been brought to the light, it still made your stomach queasy, "I got your favourite, [Name]-chan! It's Daifuku! I've brought matcha, chocolate and red bean paste!" Uraraka grinned at you and you flinched, looking away from her frightened when your heart lurched in your chest,"
"Calm the fuck down, round cheeks! Fuck sake, just give it to her like a normal person!"
"Eh!? I did! You're so mean, Bakugou! Sorry if I scared you, [Name]-chan!" She grinned at you after pouting at the blonde and you watched the two banter, all the while everyone else spoke to one another and shared snacks, they laughed and smiled and you felt that thing again, anxious and tight in your throat but you tried to repress it, scared and envious of their lighthearted banter.
Another boy approached you, the head of a bird but you could see him smiling, a sincere and genuinely happy look in his eyes, a small shadow came out behind him as he knelt beside you after Tenya had left to go beside Todoroki and you had taken the daifuku from Uraraka while she ate half of what she gave you, opting to share with you.
It was sweet.
"I've missed you a lot, [Name].." His voice was deep and low but warm too, "so did Dark Shadow," as you grew confused, you saw the shadow move like it was an actual sentient being, "o-oh.." Tokoyami made himself comfortable with you and you couldn't lie, you were slightly freaked out, "you always used to pull pranks on each other, Dark Shadow enjoyed trying to scare you when you tried to sneak up on me."
"I-.. I'm sorry..." he furrowed his brows and you tried to busy yourself with the sweet snack in your hand, slightly sticky and smooth, the current one you were eating was chocolate. You couldn't remember the last time you ate something as good as this. You restrained yourself from taking big bites, trying to will yourself to eat the food and actually keep it down, "oh no, there's nothing to apologise about..." he fell silent and it was like you had done something wrong, "a-actually," he continued slowly, sounding a lot more sullen then seconds earlier, "I should apologi-"
"get the hell away from her, birdbrains."
"Are you deaf?!" Bakugou stood by you, you hadn't even realised he was there, and it brought the attention of the whole class, but you didn't even notice them because of the clear anger and frustration on his face, you moved away a bit, "I don't wanna hear shit from people who don't deserve to be here! You," he motioned to Tokoyami and then turned to Todoroki, "and you, shouldn't even be here."
He was so angry, fuming with glaring eyes and a snarl over his mouth, resembling a rabid dog and it brought chills down your spine. You had no idea what was happening and there was nothing you could do, seated in a wheelchair and holding a napkin of daifuku, "wha-"
"Bakugou, this really isn't the time for thi-"
"Don't you dare try to fucking brush this off!" He was too far gone, huffing with a prominent vein sticking out on his neck from how tense and infuriated he was. You hadn't seen anyone this angry, not since Akuma, actually, Hide was really fucking enraged when you- flinching, your head was pulsating and you raised your hands to cradle your head, humming as if to will the pain away and Bakugou exploded again, "Look what you fucking did?! Fuckers, this is why you shouldn't be here! Assholes like you who don't even give a shit about [Name]!"
"Of course we care about her! I can't believe you would even say that." Todoroki was seething but you were unaware from the pain, the images, the agony, it hurt so much, like a migraine that almost threatened to take your consciousness and force you into a dark sleep,
"How convenient that you would say that now, huh!? When's she's right fucking here, alive just like I said she would be! Unlike some fucking people!" He was screeching, surely you had the attention of other patients too, and you heard Satsuki trying to calm him down. His classmates as well, when you heard a "Kacchan!" that sounded so in disbelief that you questioned whether it really happened.
This atmosphere that felt kind and warm was completely shattered and it was all your fault, with a burning mind and stinging eyes and sickened stomach, you threw the daifuku away from you like it was poison and yelled, voice broken and pained, "Stop this!"
Your breathing quickened and Satsuki stuttered in her movements surprised and saddened, "I'll take you back-"
"No! This isn't fucking fair!" You stopped her and she was still.
Tears were growing in your eyes but you rubbed then away furiously, "Y-You.." your mouth was twisted to an ugly scowl and your fists clenched into your blanket when Bakugou, Tokoyami, Todoroki and everyone else stared at you with so many different expression yet they all spelt out sadness,
"Fuck, A-All of you were supposed to be heroes, huh?" An almost manic laugh came from you, though you didn't smile. Smiling on you seemed absolutely foreign now and the day it happened, it would probably be a miracle.
"Some bloody heroes you are," you felt so cold and distant, resentful and burning inside, "Heroes are meant to save people and look at what happened to me!!" Your voice broke, possibly because you were broken inside.
"God, this was- this is w-wrong, I-I hate this so much," you had started pulling at your hair, pulling and pulling when your face twisted to pain, you felt hands try to stop you but you screeched, "don't touch me!"
You wanted so many things. You wanted to yell and cry and pull your hair out and curse out every god, angel and deity out there for abandoning you and making you go through this absolute hell. You wanted everything to stop, you didn't want to feel this sharp pain in your mind every time you heard Akuma or Tamotsu. You wanted to be alone, you wanted to be nothing.
Whether you were praying, trying to find some guidance or help or even just speaking because you were so damn exasperated with feeling so many emotions and being around so many people that felt like strangers that you knew in a different life, it didn't even matter because the tears that seemingly burst from your eyelids to collect at your chin and fall to your lap, the scene was just so heartbreaking that even your classmates couldn't help but feel like something just snapped in them, and then they were so helpless,
"I wish everything j-just stopped.." you hiccuped, sniffling, "I-I wish I was dead... I d-don't get a-anything, why am I even alive." Your chest was burning, heart pumping blood through your veins and it angered you because you didn't even know these people and they were so kind and then they were yelling over you, screaming things you didn't even understand.
Sweetly speaking to you about things you had no idea about, calling you nicknames and speaking with such familiarity as if you had known them for years and it made your heartache because you couldn't even think of them without thinking of how someone here would undoubtedly betray you or do something horrible like even bringing you back to that place where Akuma was-
Satsuki watched you with downcast eyes, upset that those words had finally come out. it wasn't the first time this happened and she'd be damned if she actually let anything happen to you.
"T-They d-did this t-to me and I-I don't know why I-I'm still alive... Y-You're h-heroes, r-right? Why-.. Why was it so dark and-and so painful, I WAITED FOR YOU TO SAVE ME!" You bellowed in complete agony and broke down sobbing, dribbling and tearful without shame and whether you had intended to say all of this or not, Satsuki knew where she had heard this before,
"Yes," she completely put the magazine down and brought her seat closer to you, "the call was released to the public, you called the police but didn't speak, only using the numbers to answer the police, they realised what was happening and managed to find out. It was probably was of the biggest moments of Japan, you know?"
"I-..." something didn't feel right about that.
...You weren't found, you were released on their terms...
"I'm going to sleep."
"I wish I was dead."
Whether you were being honest about actually sleeping or not, Satsuki didn't know, but just hearing those words made her feel immense relief and she only stayed that way because she hadn't caught what you had whispered shortly after that.
Uraraka, Yaoyorozu and Midoriya were balling, Todoroki was pained, his stomach hurt and his eyes were stinging, Kaminari was clinging to Kirishima, tears in his eyes while Kirishima tried to keep the tears in - a futile effort - and Bakugou was biting his lower lip to the point of bleeding, it reminded him of the first time he and Midoriya visited you, when you had bitten your lip to the point of bleeding and your nurse simply wiped it away.
The crying didn't end, neither did the murmurs and desired of death. Completely unashamed, you cried yourself to exhaustion and became that comatose-looking girl that Midoriya had seen after you had experienced that seizure that frightened and shook him to the core. Whimpering about every and all thought of death and escape and how wonderful it would be if you completely disappeared, you even began murmuring things that made your classmates sick to their stomachs,
"he's.. watching me.. all the time... Akuma.." It was like you were hypnotised, in your own bubble where your mind could disassociate you from here, where you were suffering, and they knew the name Akuma very well. Seeing him on the news when he was taken to Tartarus for life and written about on social media where people wished him death and torment for life.
"h-he's.. going to hurt me... Tamotsu... He-.. me... no... it hurts..."
"[Name]..." Satsuki murmured and tried to calm you down, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder but you didn't even flinch, inviting the touch and mumbling, "p-please... I'll be a good girl... d-don't huh-hurt me..." A sob wracked your body and it was like you couldn't even breathe anymore, "th-this... is too much," Satsuki looked angry, disappointed, "I was very glad to have this time today to make [Name] feel better but this will not be happening again, if you choose to behave like this."
Bakugou raised a hand to his face, ashamed and full of rage, "and you," he glanced over to see the nurse glaring at him condescendingly, "think before you act."
Class 2-A watched the nurse wheel their best friend back into the building where you sat alone with those thoughts and emotions every single day, and regretted everything that had happened from the moment you were taken.
I wrote this in like 4 hours instead of studying so I really hope you enjoy, especially since I haven't updated this in a while!