Lynne's sweet slumber was rudely interrupted by an overwhelming urge for a different kind of release than she had experienced a couple hours ago. She cursed her bladder as she slowly opened her eyes and reached up to lift the comforter so she could slip out without waking Lucifer, who was softly snoring beside her.
Something about the blanket felt different than it had the night before- it was much softer than the silky fabric that had lain against her skin when he had tucked her in last night, almost fluffy. One of the down feathers gently poked into her palm as she grabbed the edge. Hmm, she thought to herself as her eyes slowly opened. Maybe he just took off the duvet cover while I was sleeping? We did make quite a mess of it this morning…
As her sight gradually came in to focus, she realized it was a blanket of actual feathers, softly glimmering as the rays of sun peeking through the curtains shone across them. She lay there momentarily, mesmerized by their beauty. As her brain slowly began to process what she was actually looking at, her adoration quickly turned to shock. What the actual fuck?! Her eyes followed the lines of the feathers to the middle of Lucifer's shoulders. They shifted subtly as his body slowly stirred and her jaw dropped.
She shot up from the bed and stumbled into the nightstand, knocking a lamp over in her panic. Are those… She rubbed her eyes and blinked a few times. Oh my god they're fucking WINGS! HOW DOES HE HAVE WINGS?! Frozen in disbelief, all she could do was stand there dumbfounded as Lucifer rolled over towards her and lifted his head.
"Everything ok, love?" he asked as his eyes opened. "I thought I heard-" He saw the look of shock on her face and sat up quickly, his wings knocking the other lamp over in the process, and suddenly realized what she was staring at. “Oh, bloody hell," he said as he stood up and began to walk over to her. "My apologies, darling, they have a mind of their own sometimes. I never meant to-"
As he came closer, Lynne unconsciously took a few steps back. "It's all… You're… Oh fuck... I can't... I need to pee!" She turned and practically ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind her.
Lucifer stayed where he was and stared at the door, stunned by the events that had just taken place. He rolled his shoulders, sending his wings back to their resting place, and smacked his forehead. You bloody fool! You let your guard down for a moment, lost control, and seemingly just ruined another human's life. Will you EVER learn?!
He felt an overwhelming urge to escape, to run away from the mess that he had created, but he knew better than to give in to it. A load of bloody good that did last time... He needed to stay, deal with the aftermath, and help her through it. He needed to be strong enough for both of them. He also needed something to occupy his mind to keep the urge to flee at bay while he waited.
He grabbed two robes from his closet and carefully crept towards the bathroom. He hung one on the doorknob as silently as he could so as not to scare her and put the other one on as he walked to the kitchen to grab a broom and dustpan.
He returned to his room and began cleaning the mess of the broken lamps, grateful for a task to focus on instead of the dread he felt rising in him as he wondered what was going through Lynne's head right now.
Lynne washed her hands as she began to process what just happened now that her mind was a little more clear. Wings. He has WINGS. They were GLOWING for fuck's sake! He has ANGELIC WINGS. "How?!" she exclaimed, her voice breaking the silence and echoing throughout the tiled room.
She stared at herself in the mirror as if her reflection might provide some answers. "He's… Oh my god. I seriously just spent the night with… Oh my god, God! I'm so sorry! I just... With your… And he's the… Oh, God. This is so far beyond any mortal sin!"
She shook her head and returned her gaze to mirror, needing to face herself as the weight of her guilt began to crush her. "Does it count if I had no idea going into this? Do I still go to hell for just lust and adultery? What am I saying, of course I do because YOU'RE REAL. IT'S ALL REAL. You’re not just some mysterious higher power, you're actually God. And Lucifer is… Holy shit. Fuck! I can't stop swearing! At God! There's another broken commandment to add to the list…"
She barely recognized the person she saw staring back her, sheer desperation in her eyes as she begged for contrition. "Please God, don't smite me right away, my daughter needs me. Give me time to go to confession and make things right if that's even possible at this point, or at least put together a contingency plan or something. My sister always wanted another kid… Oh my god. God! What have I done?! I'm so sorry, I truly am, please hear me! Look within my soul and please believe me!” She rested her hands on the sink and hung her head. “Oh God… I'm talking to myself in a mirror. Is this all really happening, or have I just officially gone off the deep end? Is my penance a lifetime in the loony bin? Maybe I'll like it there, find peace in the tranquility..."
Her mind was spinning out of control. She took a few deep breaths to steady herself and sat down on the floor, leaning against the most glorious tub she had ever seen. Ok, at least I'm not talking into a mirror anymore. Step one back to sanity…
She shivered and suddenly realized she was still stark naked. She looked around and found a big fluffy towel to wrap around herself. Great, warm and cozy now, step two off the crazy train… Step three, think about this logically. She took a deep breath. Okay. I can do this. Channel my inner Spock. Flashbacks of many Star Trek binges ran through her head and she desperately searched for some logical advice.
"In critical moments, men sometimes see exactly what they wish to see."
“Well, Mr. Spock, I don't think it was a critical moment, nor did I wish to see fucking ANGEL WINGS, but it was a long night. A glorious night, even. I haven't come that hard in, well, ever. Maybe lack of sleep combined with all that oxytocin messed with my mind and I was just seeing things?
Plausible, but highly unlikely. I don't think it makes you straight up hallucinate…
Maybe it was a really good parlor trick? No, he seemed shocked by their appearance too, so scratch that idea…
Some kind of freaky subdermal implants that malfunctioned? I'm no expert, but I don't believe body modification technology has progressed far enough for that kind of thing. Besides, they were easily 12 feet across- where would he even fit them without looking like some kind of Quasi Moto on steroids?”
She sighed in frustration. “Oh, my dear Vulcan, there is no logic to be found here! What have you got for me now?”
"An ancestor of mine maintained that if you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the solution.”
“Both Holmes and Spock can't be wrong… So that's it, then. Highly improbable, but not impossible, I guess. He's an angel. A fallen angel, walking amongst us on earth. THE fallen angel. Lucifer ‘literally god-damned’ Morningstar, whose bathroom floor I am currently sitting on whilst talking to myself.”
She hung her head in her hands and began to laugh. She laughed and laughed until her sides hurt and her laughter had turned to tears. Her tears slowly turned into waterfalls running down her cheeks. "Oh God, if you're still listening, if you even care about me anymore, I need your help. All my years of Catholic school did not prepare me for this scenario! Please! Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can. The wisdom to know the fucking difference! I beg of you!"
The voice of her inner Vulcan returned. God doesn't answer, Lynne, at least not in the way you want right now. He's not just gonna appear in this bathroom as some shining orb, nor is any voice is gonna come thundering down from the sky and tell you exactly what to do. He doesn't roll like that. You're on your own here.
Alone and afraid, she curled up into a ball and wept, desperate for an answer to her prayers.
Having cleaned the mess, changed his sheets, and reorganized the entire layout of his closet, Lucifer was out of distractions. He was tempted to check in on Lynne, but if history taught him anything, it was that he needed to give her time and space to work through her shock, and the next steps needed to be on her terms and hers alone.
He couldn't quite fathom why he felt such a strong sense of responsibility and protectiveness over her. This wasn't the first time a human had seen his wings, nor even the first random lover that he had only just met. When his wings had first come back, he had almost no control over them. More often than not, witnesses were either too high, too horny, or too daft to think twice about them, brushing them off as some sort of kink or easily able to believe they were just seeing things. Yes, his true self had even inadvertently broken a mind or two along the way, and yes, he harbored some guilt about it, but…this was different. She was different. HE was different.
Perhaps he had matured, having learned some very difficult lessons throughout this decade spent in his self-proclaimed purgatory, trying to fit in amongst his father's "greatest creation" and make a life for himself. Perhaps he was attempting to assuage the guilt and pain that still gnawed away at him from his greatest mistakes. Perhaps he was just trying to prove to himself that he could handle things right this time around. That he was good. That he was worthy.
He needed something to ground him and quell the fear and dread from his mind, his heart, his soul. He walked into his foyer and resisted the instinctive urge to sit down at the piano, not wanting to disturb her. Instead he opted for his phone, scanning through countless songs until finding one that felt right. A quietly haunting chorale filled the silence as he made a pot of coffee.
While he waited for it to percolate, he walked over to the bookcase and mindlessly ran his fingers along the spines, softly humming along as the fervency of the melody rose and washed over him, filling his soul with a tentative sense of hope and a tiny sliver of the peace he so desperately sought.
The scent of fresh coffee filled his nostrils, breaking the wave of emotion cresting inside him and he grabbed a random book to distract himself with. He walked back to the counter and poured himself a cup. Thinking optimistically, he left a second mug on the counter beside the carafe before sitting down on his couch to read.
Lynne continued to weep as she heard a haunting orchestral piece softly playing from the other side of the door. She felt a calming warmth gently wrap around her soul as she lost herself in the euphony of it, recognizing the score. The familiarity began to ground her as her mind filled in the lyrics.
See my shadow changing, stretching up and over me.
Soften this old armor.
Hoping I can clear the way by stepping through my shadow
Coming out the other side.
Step into the shadow.
"Forty-six and two just ahead of me…" she sang softly, finding strength in the hope those words promised. Her sobs slowly tapered off and her mind finally began to clear. She took a few deep breaths and focused on her next step.
I can't just hide in here forever. He's an eternal being. Forever is LITERALLY forever to him. And I have a life waiting for me beyond that door, a little girl who needs her mom. I can't just descend into madness or run for the hills. I am a strong ass woman who has weathered tougher storms. This will NOT break me. I have two whole days to get my shit together. I can do this.
She took another deep breath. Ok. Last step back to sanity? Come up with a plan to get out of here in one piece.