Ten minutes later, Lynne turned off onto a service road and led Lucifer up a winding path surrounded by trees. Oh, bloody hell, where is she taking me? Some sort of sacrificial altar in the woods? Soon the wall of trees broke, and she pulled over onto a cliff overlooking the ocean. He watched as she got out and rummaged around in her trunk before pulling out a duffle bag. I was just kidding about the altar, but now I'm starting to get worried…
She walked further out onto the precipice and ducked behind a large rock, and he cautiously got out of his car to join her. He found her propping up a few pillows against the curve of the rock before shaking out a blanket and laying it on the ground. She patted the blanket and he eyed her warily as he walked over and sat down. She sat down a few feet away from him and wrapped herself in another blanket. "Sorry I forgot to tell you where we were going, didn't mean to go serial killer mode there for a moment. Add that to your list of grievances." He chuckled as their gazes turned towards the stars twinkling above the ocean as its waves rolled and crashed against the rocks below. Lynne sighed in awe. "This is one of my favorite places in the whole wide world. I do some of my best thinking here under those stars of yours. I thought you might enjoy it as well…"
He smiled as he leaned back. "It is quite a marvelous view…"
Lynne smiled. "So what's on your mind?"
"Everything and nothing all at once…" Lucifer said wistfully.
"Same…" They stared out at the ocean for a long while and she finally spoke again. "So… Forgiveness, huh? Taking a little tip from dear old Dad are we?" He shot her a nasty look and she frowned. "Sorry, that was an even worse icebreaker than spilling my drink on that poor waitress."
Lucifer laughed. "I suppose so…" He sighed deeply. "Look, I wanted to hate you for what you did to me. And I did, at least for a little while, but I got over that, or so I thought. When you broke down again back there, I wanted desperately to just run away and leave you there wallowing in your guilt. I wanted to relish in your pain as some sort of sick payback, but despite what they may say about me, I find no satisfaction in others' torment unless they truly deserve it. But judgement has never been my role, nor will it ever be. My only option left was to forgive you, so that maybe we can both finally find some peace…” He shook his head and sighed again. “But then you hugged me in that parking lot, and it brought everything back and I just couldn't let you walk away again. So here I am, stargazing with Lynne 'bloody hell, why don't I know your middle name yet' Gardner, trying to make sense of it all."
Lynne chuckled softly. "It's Marie… So how can I help you make sense of this all?"
"I'm not sure you can…" Lucifer exhaled deeply. "I can't go on the way I have been. But I'm not quite ready to truly forgive you, or trust you, or allow myself to put my heart on the line again, and I don’t know that I ever will be. I'm literally stuck between a rock and a hard place right now," he laughed as he tapped the rocks behind and below him.
“I hear that…” Lynne smiled as she sighed. "Well, I want you to be happy and finally find peace and contentment, so whatever you decide, I'll be okay with. I'll sign another deal if you'd like, and I'm pretty sure I'll actually be able to keep it this time around. I have a wonderful therapist now who can help me work through anything. "
Lucifer couldn't help but chuckle. "My, how the tables have turned…"
Lynne laughed with him. "Why yes, they have." She let out another long sigh. "Hmm… I'm trying to think back to what helped me when I was in your shoes… We've covered the 'why' and the 'how' piece… Do you think it might help if you got a little bit of that anger and resentment towards me out of your system?"
Lucifer shook his head. "No. I told you, I already did and that didn't help one bit. What else have you got, Doctor Gardner?"
"Well, as I recall, I had some rage going on in that bathroom, but it was quickly pushed aside by all the other emotions. It eventually came back out during that first talk we had, and I said some pretty horrible stuff to you- sorry again by the way- but I felt way better after venting and haven’t been angry at anyone other than myself since. Well, I had a few choice words for your father, but he refuses to respond, let alone engage in any arguments with me..."
“That makes two of us.” Lucifer scoffed. “That outburst of yours was rather intense, but it did seem to help you so I suppose I could try. But how do I even start? This place does have an alarmingly calming atmosphere…"
“It sure does, that’s why I love it so much…” Lynne smiled. "Here, I'll go first. I'm still mad and kind of hate myself for what I did. I haven't really worked through any of it yet, so it'll be wicked easy to start you off with some examples." She stood up and put her hands on her hips. She couldn't look him in the eye without laughing, so she turned around to face the ocean and cleared her throat, opting not to try and impersonate his accent this time.
"Lynne, you stupid fucking idiot selfish baby. You knew how you felt about me way before you left me. In fact, the real reason you broke down in Lux wasn't because of your father, you liar. It was that scary feeling that popped up because it was ME specifically singing that song, calling you out on your internal bullshit without even realizing it. But no, you lied to yourself and to Marie, blaming it on dear old Dad like you always do when in fact it was ALL YOU. You made yourself that way! But were too fucking stupid and scared to see the truth."
She took a deep breath and continued. "And you ABSOLUTELY knew how I felt about you! The kindness and patience and selflessness I showed you, how I went out of my way to make you feel like you were the most special woman in the world, but no, you couldn't face that truth either, could you, you big baby! So you kept feeding yourself AND ME massive amounts of bullshit excuses so you could deny it. And I let you, because I cared for you so deeply and I'm a good man. But there was NO denying how I felt about you on that balcony, Lynne. YOU SAW MY FUCKING TEARS! And yet instead of asking me how I felt or what I wanted to do, you just ran away like the scared little coward you are and lied to yourself some more that I would actually be okay when you KNEW I wouldn't be, you selfish fucking ASSHOLE!!!!" She screamed into the wind as she bent over, hands on her knees, panting.
She finally calmed down and said "Okay, your turn now," cheerfully as she turned around. She expected to see laughter or even flames in his eyes, but he just stared at the ground. She went over to pull him up from his seat and he flinched as she reached for him, recoiling from her touch. She took a big step back. "It's okay, Lucifer. You have every reason to be mad at me. Let it out. I can take it."
Lucifer shook his head. "If it's punishment you’re after, Lynne, I'm no longer in that business, so stop trying to goad me into it."
Lynne took a small step towards him and he looked up at her, embers in his eyes, and she stayed where she was. "Lucifer, that's not it at all. I'll be punishing myself for the rest of my life, there's no need for anyone else to help. I just want you to let yourself be angry. It's not healthy to bottle that up, and you need to let it out. Yell at me, the sky, the ocean, whatever you want, but you need to just do it already or it will eat away at you!"
Lucifer stood up now, the flames in his eyes growing brighter. "How DARE you try to tell me how I should feel, or what I should do, just so you can feel better about yourself. Could you BE any more FUCKING selfish, Lynne?!"
He breathed heavily as she stared at him, trying to hide the fear from her face. He won't hurt me… I have to be strong enough for the both of us right now… All she could do was shake her head and brace herself for whatever came next.
"How DARE you ask me to see you tonight?! I was finally almost okay but NOOO you just couldn't leave well enough alone, could you Lynne? You needed your precious closure and like a FOOL I fell for your manipulations yet again.” He sighed in frustration, the flames flickering in his eyes. “I've tried SO BLOODY HARD to be a good person these past few years to the point where I've nearly lost my identity in the process. Do you even know what it took for me to be strong enough for the both of us the day you left? The weeks afterwards? The risks it posed to EVERYTHING I've worked so hard for? The toll it took on my very soul? OF COURSE NOT! You just let me do it, let me cater to your every whim and desire regardless of the personal cost."
He took a step towards her and she instinctively stepped back, bumping into the rock. He took a deep breath, but he couldn't calm himself, and his flames grew brighter. "I bared my heart and soul to you, Lynne. You said you never wanted to hurt me but guess what- YOU DID! And you KNEW you were doing it, too, which makes it INFINITELY worse! You said it yourself, Lynne. You knew how I felt long before that balcony, and afterwards there was NO DENYING IT. I told you in every possible way that I could without actually saying the words! YOU KNEW that the only reason I let you go is because I loved you too much to try and stop you. AND YOU STILL RAN!"
Tears began to well up in Lynne's eyes. Oh my God, did he just drop the L-bomb on me?!
He stepped closer, inches away from her now, his breath hot on her face as he continued. "You ran, Lynne. And you hurt me. No, you nearly BROKE me. You knew FULL WELL what you were doing to me and you did it anyway. And now you're here after all this time asking me to forgive you?! Those pathetic BLOODY tears running down your face back there begging me to let you into my life again?! And the same ones now?! Are you FUCKING SERIOUS?! I may be the devil but who's the torturous one, here, Lynne, huh? WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST LET ME BE?!!!"
The flames in his eyes were raging. He brought his hands to her shoulders and began to shake her, but his wings popped out suddenly, momentarily distracting him. He let go of her and shook his head as he turned and walked away from her. He stood on the edge of the cliff and contemplated flying away to escape this torment. To escape her.
Lynne's tears were now waterfalls. Oh, God, please! Help! I've pushed him too far! Smite me right now if you must, but please grant him just an ounce of serenity before it's too late! "Lucifer, please, please don't leave. Hate me if you need to, but please, don't leave like this. You’re… I don't want you to do anything you'll regret." She began to walk towards him but he raised his hand to stop her in her tracks.
He slowly turned around with flames still raging in his eyes as the moonlight glistened across his wings. "SIT," he growled at her. She nodded and obeyed him, scooting as far back as she could against the rock. He took a deep breath as he rubbed his temples and paced back and forth across the edge of the cliff. "Lynne... What you did… It brought up my 'daddy issues' as well. It brought me RIGHT BACK to that moment when I first landed in Hell. Alone, afraid, and ABANDONED. The guilt of my mistakes drowning me..."
He took another deep breath to steady himself. "And then I recalled only other time I felt like that. The second time I fell. Only this time it was not from heaven, but for a woman. I royally fucked that all up as well, and it nearly broke me all over again. But I survived. Then here I was again, years later, given a third chance to finally do things right, prove to myself that I had learned from my mistakes. I did EVERYTHING in my power not to mess it up and yet I STILL ended up fallen, broken, alone and afraid, awash with guilt. Because of YOU."
The flames died out and were replaced with pain. Lynne wanted to hug him, to make it all go away, but she couldn't help the flames that were building up inside of her, the voice crying out to her. She couldn't stop the words from coming out, no matter how hard she tried. "Well, there you go, Lucifer. You've found a way to hurt me." She clapped sarcastically. "But I should thank you for it, actually. I think I can finally put this whole thing to rest now that I know I was just some epic do-over for you…"
She began to walk away and he rushed over to stop her, the flames immediately reigniting in his eyes. "Don't do this, Lynne. Don't you DARE do this to me again!” He wanted to shake her, condemn her for being selfish and making this all about her yet again, but he suddenly realized what she was doing. He had just given her the perfect reason to run and she couldn't help herself from taking it. It was no longer in her control.
“What we have… It's different. I'm different, you're different, EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT!” The flames slowly died out and were replaced with pain once again. “She was a test, Lynne. A human, with free will, whom I believe did once actually love me as much as I loved her, but she was a test from my father. One that I passed with flying colors by failing miserably. A test that proved to both of us that I could to be better, wanted to be better. A test that finally granted me the forgiveness and freedom I so desperately wanted from him."
Lynne sighed. She saw the pain and honesty in his eyes, but she couldn't control the voice screaming in her head. "That's a great story, and I'm really glad you guys worked out your issues and all, but I want no part in any divine test or power struggle. Thanks, but no thanks..."
"Look at me, Lynne." He turned her head towards his, embers creeping into his pupils again. “You are NOT a test. Everything about you and us is different. I’m not saying we’re soulmates or anything crazy like that, Dad knows that’ll send both of us off and running again, but what I do know is that what we have is different than anything I've felt before. Our near-instant connection, how natural everything felt, my total lack of defenses around you, the way you truly broke me…"
Lynne simply closed her eyes and leaned back against the rock. "I feel the same way, Lucifer. I can't explain why or how, but I can't shake that feeling either. I was never able to. We very well could be, but Lucifer, it can NEVER work between us! You're… I mean look at you right now, you have fucking wings and flames in your eyes. What future do we have? Is your father truly THAT cruel?!"
Lucifer brought her head back towards his, forcing her to look into his eyes again as the flames grew, as did that nagging feeling in his soul as he studied his stars in her eyes. Does her torture never end? She admits she feels that same connection and in the same breath tells me we have no future. She's infuriating! He leaned in and kissed her out of sheer frustration, and sparks literally jumped from their lips when they met. They both pulled their heads back at the shock, staring into each other's eyes.
What the fuck just happened? That couldn't have been... No! God, why are you doing this to us? I can't go there with him, I JUST CAN’T! HAVE YOU NO MERCY LEFT IN YOUR SOUL?!
Lynne found herself leaning back in to kiss him with no way to stop it. She cried and punched against his chest as she kissed him, and he made no move to stop her, or himself. He wrapped his arms around her and deepened their kiss, hungrily devouring her mouth as the flames inside him continued to burn and lick against her skin where he touched.
She pulled him close against her, wrapping her legs around him as he pinned her against the rock. Their bodies melted into each other, a heady mix of anger and love and frustration sending them deeper into the throes of unbridled passion. He ground into her core as she moaned and clung to his wings, pulling on them, wanting desperately to get lost in him but also to stop, to push him away, to run. The angel and devil in her head were in a fight to the death and she tugged on his wings in frustration.
He growled at the pain and switched their position, resting his wings against the rock as he pulled her shirt off and moved in to kiss her again as his hands pawed at her breasts, squeezing them until she cried out, in pain or pleasure she couldn't decide. She reached behind him and grabbed his wings at their base, pulling as hard as she could, tearing him away from the rock and using all of her strength to throw him on the ground. He could have stopped her, should have stopped her, but he couldn't be strong enough for himself at this point, let alone both of them.
She knelt above him, straddling his legs, and fumbled with his belt and zipper as she brought her lips to his again, her breath catching as she felt the sparks again. She finally freed his cock from its fabric cage and hitched up her skirt. He reached up and tore her panties off, throwing them over the edge of cliff as he sat up on one elbow and ran his fingers through her hair, pulling her back to him as he deepened their kiss.
She positioned herself above him and slowly rubbed her slickness up and down his length before finally impaling herself onto him, both of them crying out as he filled her. She stared into his flames as she rocked into him, faster and faster with each thrust as she brought them closer and closer to their peaks. She kissed him again as her walls began to close in around him, and he flipped them over without breaking contact, his wings blowing clouds of dirt into the air.
She melted into his mouth and punched against his chest again as she writhed beneath him in pleasure, but he only tightened his grip around her. She felt as though his fingers were burning into her flesh and bit his lip as hard as she could. He finally released his grip from around her waist and knelt back. She sat up and studied him as they panted, his wings twitching and glimmering in the moonlight, the flames in his eyes burning brighter than she had ever seen them before. She maintained his gaze as she rolled over and got on all fours, summoning him back to her with a wiggle of her hips and desperation in her eyes. He accepted her invitation and grabbed hold of her hips again as she backed herself onto him, crying out once more as the heat of his cock slowly filled her again.
He plunged into her with a primal urgency, each thrust hitting her core deliciously and she was soon beginning to tremble around him. He increased his pace and her cries of pleasure soon echoed against the rock face as she exploded around him, calling out his name over and over again as if it were a prayer.
A devilish grin flashed across his face as he reached down and grabbed a fistful of her hair and tugged her up towards him as he leaned back, bringing her up to rest against his chest as he continued thrusting into her. "Is this what you wanted, Lynne?" he growled into her ear, and she nodded as she moaned softly into the wind.
"You summoned the devil to fuck you one last time before you run away again?" he asked as he nipped at her neck, eliciting another moan from her lips. She gently shook her head. "Be honest, now, Lynne, I know when someone's lying to me,” he said, his voice low and graveled. “You wanted to make me mad, fill me with rage, stoke those flames in my eyes so I would fuck you hard and rough just like this.” He used his knees to spread her legs wider, and she cried out in ecstasy as he plunged even deeper into her.
“You wanted me to punish you as only the devil can…" He bit down on her earlobe just gently enough to not break skin. "You wanted rocks digging into your knees and palms, dried blood and blisters and the soreness between your legs tomorrow as penance for your sins." He pulled her hair a little harder as he sucked voraciously on her neck.
Lynne shook her head again. "Tell me the truth, Lynne." His voice sent a chill down her spine as he reached his hand around her waist and began to rub her clit, eliciting a deep moan from her. "That's right, sing for me," he murmured as he increased his pace. "Confess your sins. You just wanted that hot seed of Hell to fill you one last time." He began to pound into her again, guttural cries escaping from his throat with each thrust.
"NO!" she cried out as she tried to pull away, but his hold on her was too strong. "Fuck, Lucifer, STOP! I'm gonna come again! Stop! PLEASE!”
His fingertips encircled her nub, rubbing it with an almost punishing rhythm. "Go ahead, Lynne, come around the devil’s cock and squeeze that fiery seed of Hell deep inside of you. I know that's all you want from me, there’s no need to deny yourself." He snapped his hips, plunging into her again, just the way he knew she liked it, and she fell apart around him. He roared as his release soon followed, burning into her center, their cries floating out into the ocean.
He let go of her hair and leaned in to kiss her, but she pulled away and turned to him, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Is that what you really think, or were you just trying to get me off? Or perhaps yourself, Samael?” she asked as the tears in her eyes turned to anger.
Lucifer's face and heart fell together as his flames died out. "You told me to get my anger out… I thought you liked it rather rough sometimes… I'm sorry, Lynne. I lost control. Please forgive me…” He moved towards her, placing his hand on her shoulder.
She recoiled at his touch, looking into his eyes with a mix of disgust and pain. "Yes, I did, and yes, under different circumstances I may have found that pretty hot, but you crossed a line, Lucifer. MANY lines. You took ALL of that shit way too fucking far for it to just be kinky… I told you to stop, BEGGED you stop, and you didn’t. I don’t care if I was just fucking Satan incarnate, stop means stop.”
Lucifer’s mouth opened and closed a few times as the weight of her words and his actions smothered him. The pain and regret in his eyes cut deep into Lynne’s heart, and she took his hand in hers. “Listen, I know you were angry and totally lost control. I’ve never seen the flames burn that bright before, I could feel them burning through your skin, but I still chose to keep fucking you despite the risks, so I’ll give you a pass on that particular line you crossed. But tell me honestly, do you really think that's all I wanted from you? Why I brought you here?"
"I don't know… Kind of… I just…” He sighed deeply. “I don't know what to think anymore, Lynne. I’m so sorry..." He buried his face in her hair as his guilt washed over him.
She hugged him tight before leaning back and taking his face in her hands. "Look at me, Lucifer. Look me in the eyes and know that I am baring my soul to you when I say this. I need you to listen, understand, and accept my words." He brought his eyes up to hers, tears brimming, and nodded. "Lucifer 'we still need to come up with a middle name for you' Morningstar, I love you. I truly love you, deep within my soul. Wings, flames, baggage, and all. I have no idea where to go from here, but at least I know this much and I'm willing to give it a shot if you are. I also love you enough to want nothing more than for you to finally have peace in your life, and if you want to walk away from this, I will not judge or resent you, and I truly will be okay as long as you're happy."
He looked into her eyes, studying the reflection of his stars in them as her words washed over him. He lifted his gaze upwards, hoping the night sky would provide him some solace as he struggled to determine if he was truly willing to take this risk again. He saw a comet fly above them and chuckled to himself. Subtle move, Dad.
He turned his gaze back to Lynne. "I love you, too, Lynne Marie Gardner." He kissed her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and sat in his lap as her tears began to fall. An overwhelming sense of peace and contentment washed over them as they melted into each other. She shifted her position and slowly lowered herself onto him. They both inhaled deeply as they relished the feeling of being made whole, and began to gently rock together as one, their mouths and hands exploring each other as if it were their first time.
His hands moved down to her waist and gently guided her into a smooth and steady rhythm as they slowly rose towards their peaks again. He bucked his hips to meet hers and ground himself inside of her as she began to tighten around him. "That's it, my love," he whispered into her ear as he ran his fingers through her hair.
She increased their pace slightly and clung to him as she began to fall over the edge. He took over and gently drove himself into her until her walls clamped down around him. "Lucifer…" she whispered into his ear as she rode her wave of pleasure. “Yes…” he murmured softly into hers as she contracted around him. He moaned her name as his release flooded into her once more, the once fiery heat replaced with a warm tingling stream. He kissed her as they rode each wave of her orgasm's aftershock.
They stayed locked in their embrace for a few minutes, gently rocking, soft moans escaping into each other’s mouths as they slowly came down from their peaks. He reached behind them to bring the blanket over and laid down upon it. He pulled her onto him and wrapped his wings around her for warmth as she nuzzled into the crook of his neck, a fresh wave of peace and contentment washing over them. They listened to the waves below them gently crashing into the precipice, lulling them into a peaceful sleep.